Your Happy Hour - Episode 8: Setting Your Own Direction

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

Happy Friday everyone! Tune in to episode 8 and let’s chat about: Setting your own direction.Whose path are you walking on? How do you follow what you love?In this episode we chat with Christine Volden. Christine is a sales and marketing evangelist who ran sales teams at Yahoo! and AOL before launching her own business, The Quiet Selling Method. Join us to hear how she guides organizations and individuals on the mindset of selling and asking for what you want. In this episode we discuss: humanizing the selling process, conquering the fears that hold us back, the importance of knowing what you want and giving yourself the permission to have all that your heart desires. We’ll be here - every Friday - celebrating with you!Connect with us @ friday-feels.co▶ Podcast Chapters01:24 - Welcome Christine Volden!02:24 - Humanizing the selling process04:40 - Charting a new path09:41 - Hardest Mindset Shifts: The 5 Phobias13:54 - How to tap into success?16:00 - The Road Less Traveled: What holds us back?19:08 - 10 years ago: The Power of Your Mind & Creating Your Own Reality24:45 - Book Teaser! The Quiet Selling Method27:40 - Claim Your Confidence Challenge: Ask for what you want and YesTheory!35:51 - The energy exchange: Kindness and Money as teachers38:25 - Best Professional Advice: Do what you Love40:10 - It’s simple! Just give yourself permission43:47 - Trevor Noah, Oprah and setting the intention to tune into yourself 52:00 - What does 2024 look like for you?53:32 - Gems of the Week 57:30 - Connect with Christine!58:03 - Final question, Next week and Farewells!

Happy Friday beautiful people and hello to you all out there tuning in for your first sip of the weekend. you're tuned into your happy hour with friday feels we're celebrating all you working professionals out there doing your crazy craft embracing the beauty of being human and connecting authentically and we're host sarge and nicole and we're living and working around the world holding space for you and keeping it raw and real as we share fresh content with you every week. Follow us on LinkedIn at Friday Feels and Instagram at These Friday Feels for updates throughout the week. In our last episode, we discussed our new theme, tell me what to do and don't micromanage me. We chatted with Jen Sanchez, former DA agent, dear friend and colleague.

And in this episode, we explore the importance of giving your team the support system to thrive through trust, mentorship and leading by example. Jen shared some stories on navigating life both on and off the field, including being an undercover soccer mom. And yes, you heard that right. So definitely check it out. This week, we have our lovely guest, Christine Volden. Christine is a sales and marketing evangelist who's managed sales teams at Yahoo and AOL before launching her business, The Quiet Selling Method, where she guides organizations and individuals on the mindset of selling and how to ask for what you want.

Her courses and content have been viewed over 500,000 times. Welcome, Christine. Thank you. It's so nice to be here. We're so happy to have you on here as a successful entrepreneur who has charted her own path. I saw you speak a few months ago at the Prospero Women, Italian Women in Business conference, where we met and we were both mentors to a group of female Italian entrepreneurs. And I really enjoyed what you spoke about. I know you might mention it here today about the five phobias that we have as humans and leaders. And I really like that you humanize the selling process, but can still deliver that kind of tough love that some of these entrepreneurs need when they're selling

their products. So tell us a little bit about yourself and what this topic means to you. Yeah, it's funny, like when I was thinking back, you know, all of my jobs, well, and I would say at some point, like all jobs are really about selling, right? But it was something that I was thinking back, you know, all of my jobs, well, I, and I would say at some point, like all jobs are really about selling. Right. But it was something that I was drawn to really early and I never really understood why, but it's so funny looking back. It was something, you know, like I actually really enjoyed connecting with people. And, um, what I noticed, like working at these big companies, I got this, you know, I got

tons of sales training, right? There's so many resources at these big companies, I got this, you know, I got tons of sales training, right? There's so many resources at these large companies, I would go to all these trainings. But it was really interesting, because all of the trainings about sales were always about like kind of the tactics, like how to negotiate how to find, you know, how to qualify, but no one talked about the mindset of selling. And I was like, but that is the most important part. It's funny, I do this. And I'm sure you saw that is the most important part. It's funny, I do this, and I'm sure you saw this slide. I always ask people in this presentation, I'm like, what do you think? What percentage is mindset and what percentage is understanding the sales tactics?

And almost everyone agrees, right? It's overwhelmingly the mindset. And I always say, and I joke because I'm like, I don't have any research to back this up, but I can tell you everybody agrees. And I always say, you know, it's like 80 to 90% is your mindset. And like 10% is understanding how to sell, you know, that really resonates with people. And that's what I felt like was missing from all of the sales trainings I ever took. And I would see it again and again in the teams that I worked with or groups that I mentored that you could get all of the training in the world. But if you don't believe in yourself, then you're never going to be successful. And I feel like what I've learned about selling, because I always say selling is

about asking for what you want. It doesn't just apply to business or to work or to actual selling. It applies to every part of your life, right? Because we're always asking for what we want. And that's why I think it's like so appropriate for your, for your topic this week. Yeah, for sure. So, you know, this week, we've been exploring tell me what to do. And this month's topic is setting your own path. And so you've had a lot of experience that you used to work at very big corporates and you decided to make that transition over and chart a new path for yourself. So can you tell us a little bit about that? You know, what is, what made you decide to set your own direction and how did

you first go about doing it? Did you tell everybody, did you quietly go out and do it? Were you trying for a while on the side with the side business? Tell us a little about your journey. Yeah. I mean, I'm very lucky in that I had always been an entrepreneur. I was raised, my dad was very entrepreneurial. So like my whole life he was talking about like, oh, this would be a great business or like notice how they did this. So I was really lucky to have him as like a mentor. And we would talk about stuff all the time about business, and just about entrepreneurship. But, you know,

I started working in, in tech, in ad tech, specifically. And it's, you know, I, I built a pretty successful career, I worked at some big companies, I was part of several companies that got acquired by much larger companies. But I always knew in the back of my mind, it wasn't what I wanted to do. And I kept thinking, well, I'm just going to do it a couple more years. And then I had kids and I bought a house and, you know, I had two cars and then I was like, okay, maybe I'm going to have to do it a little bit longer. But I always had this nagging feeling in me because I just wanted to do something more and kind of make more of a contribution than just kind of selling advertising, right?

Or managing advertising sales teams. And so I always say it wasn't really my decision to leave. It's like the universe kind of decided for me because I got fired from two jobs within nine months and they were both like very like unusual. It was like they weren't expected. It wasn't like a layoff or I made some huge mistake. It was just like some weird fluke where they were like, okay, you no longer have a job. And the first time it really hit me. I was really upset and I was devastated. And I was like, what am I going to do? And I feel like that was like the practice round. And I was like, okay, I'm going to go back.

And then the second time I was like, okay, I have to pay attention now. I'm like, I think I'm not supposed to go back there. And so I remember actually on the plane ride back, because this company was in LA, I was coming back to San Francisco. On the plane ride, I like registered the domain of my business. And I was like, I'm going to start this business like next week, I had kind of been thinking about it. And I hadn't been really doing a side hustle. But I had been kind of like thinking, like, I wonder if I could do something on my own around teaching sales.

And I wasn't even convinced that anyone would be interested. Because in my mind, at that time, I thought, well, everyone knows how to sell. It's like so easy, like, there's nothing to it. And that's when I really started talking to people. And I noticed and that's, I thought, well, everyone knows how to sell. It's like so easy. Like there's nothing to it. And that's when I really started talking to people and I noticed. And that's when I figured out like, oh, the difference is, yes, it's easy to learn kind of the sales 101. But what's really hard is feeling comfortable asking for it and receiving it. And then I was like, oh, this is like a whole nother thing. And it was really interesting because my whole life I've always been like a student of like mindset, like how our mindset and what we believe

affects our reality. And I was like, this is exactly that. So it was also something that I love to talk about. I had a lot of experience in. And so I was like, that's what I want to teach, like the mindset around selling, because it's not just selling, it's really asking for what you want. want to teach like the mindset around selling because it's not just selling, it's really asking for what you want. I really love that. I feel like it resonates so much with some of the topics we've had. Yeah. And I also came from a sales background and so I can definitely resonate with some of that in terms of understanding like how much of it is mindset and confidence versus the actual skills that you need. Because when you think about it, sometimes in these teams, you're all receiving the same training, right? And so you have the same tools at hand, but there are some people that kind of rise to the top and other people that might struggle. But I think sales is a really good, is a really,

I mean, look, all entrepreneurs need to do it. But I always tell people, like, if you're not sure what you want to do, go learn to sell something. Because at least you'll always have a job doing that. Everybody needs to be able to sell. Right. And even with like, it's so interesting with the advent of AI, so many people think, and even I've heard that even Google got rid of their sales teams recently, some of them, because they're using like automated AI, but I'm just like laughing because I was like, there is nothing. Because when you really dig down into sales, it's about human to human connection, right? It's one person selling to another person. It doesn't matter what the product is. And that's something that can never

be replaced by AI. I always say that's like almost the antidote like to people and I'm a huge fan of technology. And I think AI has its place in so many different areas. But I was like, the one thing it can never replace is a human to human connection. So that's why I agree. I think like, if you know how to sell, you will always have a job or have some kind of opportunity to make money. I'm quite curious, you were talking about mindset and how that was something that was really powerful for you. And what do you feel was the hardest thing about getting over your own mindset obstacles and setting your own direction? Oh, that's, I mean, that's really where the five phobias came from, right? So it's like, it's not one. It's like, it's five. So I created something

and Saj saw the presentation, but I call it the five phobias. And I really, because I really thought about exactly that question, like, what are the things that hold us back? Right. And, and there are five of them that I kind of created. And I won't go into like all of the details, but it's like, you know, fail phobia, being afraid to fail, right? Responsophobia is really taking responsibility for other people, kind of distracting yourself with other people's problems instead of dealing with your own, right?

There's, what are the other ones? I'm like looking at my thing. There's exposure phobia, right? And this is huge for entrepreneurs. It's like fear of putting yourself out there, right? And that was a huge one for me. When I started my business, I was so scared to put it on LinkedIn or to put it on Facebook at that time, like Periscope was the only live streaming platform. So I specifically went on

that one because I knew no one knew me there. That's how scared I was to put myself out there. So it's like, you know, there's five of these, the other ones are like faith phobia, right? And I think that's a huge one. And that's I always see is so big in the tech world. It's like, fear of giving up your like fear of giving up your power to a higher power, right? And that doesn't mean it's a religious thing. But people have this idea, I just have to work harder, I can solve this all myself. And you see, especially in the Bay Area, these entrepreneurs who will stay up, you know, 20 hours a day trying to work. And I'm like, that is not the answer. Like, you do not need to work harder. You just

need to like, give up control sometimes and trust that there's something bigger than you. And it could be your, you know, if you don't have a religious belief, it could be believing in your community or believing in your customers or your future customers. But that is a huge one that I see holds people back. And I'm guilty of it too. You know, all of these phobias were because I, you know, I really encountered them myself. And then the last one is genius phobia.

And that's really fearing your own genius and your own gifts. And I did this too. One of the things, you know, and if you ask people, even when I was growing up, I was so into this mindset thing. And after that, I really studied like metaphysics and meditation and all of these spiritual practices, which I bring into the quiet selling method in a very practical way. But it's so interesting because that I think is think, is my special, like, area of genius. And I never talked about it, right? Because I was like, oh, people aren't going to be into this.

It sounds too woo-woo or, you know, whatever. And I'm like, but that actually is the key. And so, like, genius phobia is really like being scared of your own gifts, right? And not talking about them because you're scared you're going to be judged or whatever. So, you know, I would say there's not one there are five. and I always laugh because I'm like not everyone may resonate with all five but I was like I suffer and still work through all of them and you know and they really hold us back that's uh that's so funny I saw Nicole laugh when you said boo-boo because so many of my guests come on here and they say that because there is something a little transcendent about some of the topics that we talk about it takes a little bit of inward reflection it takes a little bit of of kind of holding yourself through

those and that's really why we come on and talk about it on this platform is because we want to hear from people who have done it who have walked the walk or who are in that transitory space. And, you know, what are all the feelings that you go through and how can you kind of, you know, put a pulse on it, identify it and kind of move past it. So what are, you mentioned you studied a lot of different things that kind of helped you in not only your mindset and entrepreneurial journey, but then also train individuals and even companies and sales teams. I know you work with some really big global brands. What is it that when you were going through this phase that you actually kind of tapped into?

Was it that you kind of dug more into the research? Was it like certain mantras that kind of helped you through? Was it that you kind of dug more into the research? Was it like certain mantras that kind of helped you through? Was it a community? I would say the biggest thing, honestly, was really listening to my own intuition, right? I am very empathic. And I know a lot of women are also very empathic. And what I noticed is I, and this took me a long time to figure out, I remember I had so many coaches asking me these questions about, and I kind of consider this a boundary issue, but I had so many other people's energy on me and ideas, right? And in my brain, I had all of these things like, oh, this person would say that,

this person would say that. And I had to almost clean that all out so I could just hear my own intuition. And that to me has been number one, my greatest guide. And if I can tap into that, like what is just me, what I believe, not what the media tells me, not what I learned in school, not what my old bosses or organizations or CEOs told me, like what do I believe? That to me is like the recipe for success.

If you were to boil it down to like one thing for people, I would say that is it. Like, listen to your own intuition, like figure out how to tune into that without like, and recognize how that is different from you. Like all of the things that people have taught you. Right. Cause that I think is the key. I really think everyone has everything they need already, like in your brain, right? But a lot of times we don't know how to tap into it, or we're thinking about, oh, this other person said that, or I think people are going to judge me if I say that. I totally resonate with what you're saying. I think we're all feeling these things. And we actually spoke about that a few episodes ago about, you know,

how do you put, create, like, and this will be probably another topic coming, but blissful boundaries, right? How do you kind of create a boundary around yourself that makes sure that you tap into what's important for you? And I find it quite fascinating why we are so scared of ourselves, that whole dynamic. And, you know, like when you're setting a direction for yourself and you're walking a path that's not easy you have to be okay with following the road less traveled and you know what when everyone else is walking down

the right way you must be okay that you're the only one walking down the left way so I'm what what are you finding with clients? Like what are some of the stories, you know, obviously you can't share personally, but what stands out for you as kind of a trend that you see when people come to you and ask for help? Yeah, that's a great question. So the number one thing, and it's so funny because I used to be, you know, I still have this very analytical sales mind. So when I had people come and take, like I used to do a lot of online courses. I do more like workshoppy things now because I just think since COVID,

people don't want to do like, no one wants to sit in front of their computer and like learn or do a self-paced course. So I don't do that anymore because I don't think it really serves people. People want connection now, right? And community. But I used to do these online courses

and I would ask people like, or I would want them to say, oh, I used to sell like, you know, $5,000 a month and now I do 50,000. That's what I wanted to hear, right? But what I kept hearing was you taught me that I can do it a different way, right? You made me believe I can sell as an introvert or as a person who's scared to sell or as a person who's scared to even talk to people. But I heard it again and again, you told me that I could do it my own way. And that to me, once I realized, I was like, that's actually better than right. So I'm like going from five to $50,000 a month because that's what gets you there. Right. So the biggest thing that I would tell people is like, you know, and especially in the world of sales, right?

Everyone has this perception of like the sleazy car salesperson, right? I don't know where that came from. And that is so outdated, but we all hold onto that. Right. And that's kind of like the whole intro to my book. I'm like, who does that actually serve? Right. Like who's benefiting us from believing in that story still, you know, who's benefiting the people who are in power, the people who are making all the money, the people who are running our governments, right. Who are the majority are white men. So not, not saying, but there's a very patriarchal, you know, like, basis for that belief. Now, if we were to be like, okay, what if sales was empowering? What if me making money meant that I had more freedom, and that I could do what I want, and it made me feel super powerful, and it gave me more choices,

then all of a sudden, all of these people who are scared of selling, look at it a different way, right, our whole world is going to change. So, you know, this idea of I can sell a different way, or I could be myself and I could be whoever I want to be and not aggressive, not pushy, not anything like that sleazy car sales person. That to me is really revolutionary, honestly. And I am so excited that that's, you know, the running thread that I hear from people who who work with me. So can I ask you, did you see yourself here 10 years ago teaching all these different companies and individuals on the mindset of selling? I you know, it's so funny, I spoke at my college. And well, so that was like more than 10 years ago.

But I remember thinking because they were like, Did you so that was like more than 10 years ago, but I remember thinking, cause they were like, did you think you were going to do this? And I was like, well, actually I like the internet barely existed when I was in college. So I was like, no, because this didn't even exist. I wouldn't say that I, I knew exactly what it was, but I did know at a very young age, I was drawn to this idea of like the power of your mind and being able to create your own reality. So I would say it was like, I don't know if I thought I would be able to do it, but that was always my dream from the time I remember in high school. And it's so funny,

but I remember seeing like a Tony Robbins thing on like some like channel when I was like, I don't know, like 16. And I remember looking at, and I will say like, I'm not the hugest Tony Robbins fan. There's nothing wrong with him, but I'm like, I don't always resonate with his work. But the fact that he was up there teaching people about like the power of their mind. And I remember thinking, I was like, oh my God, you can do that as a job. I'm like, cause I had chills listening to some of the stuff he was saying. He was so young at the time. But I remember that. And I was like, I want to do that. I was like, look at, because he was like speaking to this audience. It was just like on TV. But I was like, you can do that. I was like, I want to do that. Like, I want to inspire

people. So I did kind of know, but I didn't know what it was going to be about. I love that. And I'm quite curious, you know, when you're listening to like a Tony Robbins of the world, or you're working with your clients and you get this feedback and you're talking about the fact that we all sell all the time, what are people finding is like holding them back most from being their own brand? Because that's kind of what it is, you know? And I mean, Asajj, you and I were reading a gentleman, Matt Gray's post on LinkedIn recently, and he said, all the businesses these days are becoming brand-led, but the brand is the founders, you know?

That's who you are. And all these businesses are becoming media companies anyway. So what are you finding? Why are people scared to own their own brand? Yeah, I mean, I think there's a lot of different reasons. But I would say most of my clients are women. And I would say the biggest thing is really like fear of judgment. I mean, I think there's a lot of different things. But that's the one I see coming up again and again, being scared to be, and especially as women, right? Being scared to be seen as like a strong woman or, you know, a CEO and feeling like, you know, they don't really have permission to do that because the reality is like in our

world right now, we don't have a lot of permission to be a really strong female CEO. You are going to have to push through. And it isn't easy, right? We don't have all of the resources that that we could have. Right. And even speaking to what Saj was saying, like, right, we were at this Prospera women's event. And this is an event specifically for women entrepreneurs, because, and I forget what the stat is, but it's like some minuscule amount of money goes to from venture capitalists to female owned businesses. I mean, it is ridiculous how small it is. Yet the research shows that female led companies are more successful. So you're like, what, what's the problem here? Right? This is

crazy. But, you know, I think the biggest thing is just that kind of fear of, yeah, judgment and really having the permission to do it because it's really it's not the easiest thing. I think the stat is less than three percent. Oh, my God. It's two points. I know. I think I blocked out the number, but I was like, it's so small. It doesn't even.

It's very angering. Yeah. But I think, you know, we try to make a difference where we can. And so that's kind of what probably both drew us to that event. And I know Howard's a mutual friend and that's how I actually, you know, found Prospera. And so it goes kind of back to, you know, what we were talking about in some of the other episodes, which is kind of like you're always going to find your tribe, right? always going to find your tribe, right, eventually. And the people that kind of resonate with your maybe even mindset and ways of thinking, you will actually find them at these events that you tend to go to that you tend to gravitate towards. And that's what really drew me to asking you to come

on the podcast is because I didn't know you, I didn't even actually know that you knew Howard until I started talking to you at the event. And just some of the topics that you were talking about. And I was like, wow. I mean, at that point, we were working on Friday Fields. And I just was like, wow, this lady's like checking all the boxes. And I just thought it was really interesting because, I mean, you kind of set off on your entrepreneurial journey years ago. And it's

almost like it was validation for us. I came back and I was like, Nicole, there's people who are already doing this, that are talking about all these same topics, and they actually are getting paid to do so through, you know, courses. And I know you have a book coming out as well. And you also do events. So it sounds like you found, you know, your kind of true north as your mission. And then you found different ways to kind of give outlet to that and reach more people. So can you talk a little bit about your book that's coming out just to give people a little teaser? Yeah, absolutely. So the quiet selling method is the book as well. And I do I really break it into these three areas. So the number the first area is understanding like, the kind of like mechanics

of selling. And that's the stuff where I say, you know, anyone, a lot of people teach that, I do teach it in a very simple way, right? And I do it because it is important for you to understand because there is work involved, right? As someone, you know, you know, you worked in sales. A lot of people don't realize like how important the follow-up is or how to like bring someone from, hey, I just told you about my business to actually, you know, coming to an agreement where you're selling something that someone else wants, right? So coming from like awareness to closing, right? So that's one part of it. And that's, I call it like the sales mechanics, right? The second part is that mindset part, which I think

is the bulk of the book. And that is, you know, not only the five phobias, because these phobias are, you know, very, you know, intense, I'm trying to think of an appropriate word, but I also have five, um, like principles that work with each one of those things. Right. So, um, there are five, like, um, principles that have visualizations for you to kind of, cause I say you can't necessarily like overcome these things. Right. But you can work with them and you can work through them. but you can work with them and you can work through them. So I say, okay, if you deal with, say, being scared to, you know, own your own gifts or something, right? Then I kind of teach this principle about permission, right? How to give yourself permission and some kind of like visualization exercises around that. So it's not just the five phobias, but it's also these

five energetic principles that help you work through them. And then the last one is really the art of connecting with other people. It's the art of building rapport, which a lot of people use the word rapport in a very kind of light way, but there's so much to it, right? To building a connection to another person. And that's why I always say like sales is really about relationships, whether it's you trying to convince your friends what movie or what restaurant to go to, whether you're a parent trying to convince your kid to get ready for school and put their shoes on, to actually selling a product or service, right?

These are all things where it's really important to have a solid relationship. And the more solid that relationship is, the more successful you're gonna be at asking for what you want. And I mean, this also very much applies to relationships, romantic relationships, personal relationships, all of those. So that's the three parts of the book. And that's kind of like what I teach. So that is the basis of it.

I'm sorry, I forgot you asked me something else. the basis of it. I'm sorry, I forgot you asked me something else. No, I think it's, it's good to kind of hear how you've broken it down. And what you find after working with so many different clients is really kind of the nuts and bolts of what people need. Yeah, yeah, it's really those three areas. And I think, like, once you learn those three, you really become very comfortable with asking for what you want. And I have a great example of this. I used to do this. I should probably do it again. I used to do this claim your confidence challenge in January. So I would say like, let's do this seven day challenge. Right. And we're all going to ask for what we want. And every day I gave people a different prompt and it would be something like, you know, go ask someone, a former client or something for a testimonial, right? Go

and, you know, one of them was like, go ask a stranger to do something for you, right? And I had like all these funny stories, you know, someone would go up to Starbucks and ask, you know, someone to buy them a coffee. Someone was like in a park. Oh, I was in a park and I asked someone to sing me a song and he did and I got it on video. But anyway, so you're doing this for a week. And it was so interesting because I was doing it too, because I was like, I'm going to do it too. And I'll share what happens to me. The fascinating thing was like, even for me, things started shifting. I remember like during the seven days, I had to get my car fixed. And I had just been at the car dealership and I had just had some big tune up

that was like a couple thousand dollars. And I went back and I, and there was something wrong with my car and they were like, okay, it's going to be like $2,000. And I had been in this thing of asking for what I wanted. And I was just like, no. And I just told the guy, I was like, I'm not paying that. I was just here. I just did this. I was like, I'm not paying that. I was like, I'll pay you $800. And it was crazy. He looked at me like I was crazy. And then he came back and he was like, okay. I mean, and I could have never asked. I could have never said anything, but I was just like, no, I'm not okay with paying that. And he said, yes, I was shocked. But I was just like, No, I'm not okay with being that. And he said, Yes, I was shocked. But I was like, this is me asking for what I want. So it was really funny, because

I was like, it's it was working for me as well as it was working for other people. And other people had great stories, too. But I just thought that was so amazing. Because I was like, Oh, I do this all or I was thinking, Oh, I do this all the time. Like I should be the expert in this and I'm like still learning. So that was like a really cool experience that I shared with people. Oh, I love that. I also want to do a claim confidence. Maybe we should do it for a week, the three of us and work together. Yeah. Oh, now I have an idea. So I will do that for your, for your listeners. I'll launch a little group and cause I still have all the prompts and it's really easy to do. So I'll have, I'll create a link for you guys so you can share that and everybody can do this challenge. It's just

seven days, right? And it's like simple things, but it's really fun too. Oh, thank you. That'd be awesome. Do you watch Yes Theory? Cause they do stuff like this. Oh, do they really? No, I've never heard of that. Is that a show? They're amazing. So they have a YouTube channel. They've been around for a few years. And they started off at one point, they would just like spin the globe and put their finger on it.

And wherever it landed, they would kind of go there. But they do crazy stuff like this where they'll basically like, you start off with a paperclip. I think it's called like the paperclip challenge. I don't know if you've heard of it, but you start off with a paperclip. And then you have to keep asking people if they will trade something for you of greater, equal or greater value. And eventually, I think he wanted to trade to take a plane back to a

different country or something and i think it was worth like two thousand dollars and it's like how many trades like how can you do this and how long will it take you yeah and i think it took him like 24 or 48 hours to trade from a paper clip to like a $2,000 plane ticket. And it's basically like you explain, you explain it to people and you say, Hey, I'm working on this challenge. Um, I can't use anything else, but I do have this paperclip. Do you have anything that you would want to trade with me for that's equal of equal or the same value? And so eventually he gets like from a paperclip, some guy gives him his belt. His belt is like some name brand belt. And he went through like four or five trades.

I mean, sometimes it's hours where people are just like, what? Like, I don't, you know, I don't want to, don't talk to me. And he ended up trading with somebody who ran a travel agency. And the guy was like, sure. He was like, sure. Yeah, that's so much about setting your intention, right? Because so much about, you know, and there's a lot of like science based research about this, right? If you actually set a goal in your mind, right, you're more likely to achieve it. So you know that the fact that he had that specific goal in mind, I feel like, you know, that the fact that he had that specific goal in mind, I feel like, you know, I would say, you know, from a metaphysical, like spiritual, like perspective, he set that intention, right? And, you know, like a business person would say, oh, you set a goal, but it's the same thing. And that's how he got there. Right. And he also believed in it. And like, that's, that's so amazing to hear someone can do that so quickly. But yeah, that's like the power of visualization or their power of just setting a goal, right?

It's like your mind now knows what the end goal is. And if you believe in it, then you can do it. And it's so funny, you know, I see way more younger people doing that because my kids follow a guy who's really big on YouTube who does that. And I forget, they were like, yeah, he's the penny guy. I forget the name. But it's so interesting because I think when we're younger, we're so into that. And if you even think back, and I remember, I was like, I thought I could do anything when I was like 18, 19 years old. Then you become a little bit older and you start listening to all these other people and what they're saying, right? And you start hearing doubts and all, and this is what I see a lot too with my clients is, you know, oh, you used to have so much faith in yourself. And then all of a sudden, as you get older and

you start taking in other people's opinions and you hear all of this stuff, all of a sudden you have a little bit less confidence in yourself. So I would love it if people did that, who were like, you know, over 30 to see, you know, how it's different, because I think it's, it's, it's almost like easier for younger people to do that because they have no fear. They have nothing to lose. They totally believe in themselves, but I would love to see like a 30 or like a 50 year old do that and see how successful they could be, because I think it could be amazing. I mean, there's so many, if you go on that YouTube channel, you'll stay on there all day listening to all they do like these social experiments. And it was three guys, I don't know if some one of them went off to write a book, they've done like, so many different things. And,

but one of them, his brother, I think was like the cameraman. And he's actually very introverted. And they made him do it one time where they were like, okay, you need to find a place to stay. Like you're going to stay in, I think it was like Budapest or something. You need to find a stranger to let you stay over. And you can't use any money. You can't use any previous connections. You have to just ask these people on the street until somebody offers for you to stay somewhere. And it's just so funny because you feel so bad for these guys. Like they'll go up to people and they'll be like, Hey, um, you know, and they're trying to be friendly, but not creepy.

I mean, it's, it's very hard to do that in this day and age, right? It's just ask somebody for something that you want without like them trying to figure out, okay, well, what's your angle? Like, is this a prank? And they're actually very widely known. I think they have a few million subscribers. So some people who watch them kind of recognize them, but they're not allowed to really ask for help. Oh, that's so amazing.

And then, I mean, the other cool thing is you just see like the kindness of strangers, right? Which is so cool. Like when you see people who are so generous and, you know, a lot of of, of strangers, right. Which is so cool. Like when you see people who are so generous and, you know, a lot of people, again, I feel like it's, it's like people have this idea or, you know, really it's, um, it's, it's actually been studied. It's called negativity bias, right. That you kind of like, remember all the negative things, right. And you look at the news and you think like, oh, people are just unkind. But the reality is like so many

people are willing to like help others. Right. And, um, like, that's people are just unkind. But the reality is like so many people are willing to like help others. Right. And like, that's why I love hearing those stories. So that's really cool. I will definitely check it out. Yeah. And I think that's, that's one of their main pillars is the kindness of strangers. Like you're, you'd be very surprised how kind strangers are. Yeah. Absolutely. And I think it also kind of ties back to something we've spoken about before taj but it's the energy exchange right we've been we're in a society where we ingrain that everything has to be about money because money has become the way in which we work in the world but in the end of the day there's energy. Money is just the transfer of value of your energy.

And kindness is an energy. So it comes back to you and like tenfold in different ways. Yeah. And that's actually such an interesting topic because I've even looked at that in meditation. Like what is money really? Right. Because it is like, when you think about it, it is just a representation of like what you, what you value. Right. But it's like when you think about it, it is just a representation of like what you what you value. Right. But it's like, I mean, it's also such an amazing teacher for so many. And like, I look at meditation, like, what's actually like, what is the purpose of money as a, as a, in our, you know, global thinking. And it is interesting, because I say, I always tell people, like money represents your priorities, because people always ask ask me like, how do I set pricing? Right.

How do I do this? And I'm like, well, you know, how important is it? And that's also why, you know, I see sometimes entrepreneurs price their, especially women, price their products or services way lower than they need to. And I'm like, you're showing people that you don't even value your work, right? Because it's going to represent someone's priorities. And if someone pays $50 for something, and they pay, you know, $500, guess which one they're going to take better care of, or they're going to pay more attention to, they're going to pay attention to the one they spent $500 on. And guess what, it takes the same

amount of effort to sell something for $50 as it does for $500. In fact, I would say it's almost easier to sell something for $500. So it's interesting. Yeah. The whole role of money is, is that's like, that's a whole nother book, but it is fascinating when we look at it because, you know, everyone has their own, you know, idea of what money means and like grew up with a mindset of money based on like what their parents or what their community thought. So that, that actually has a huge amount of impact in how people operate in this world, really. Very true. And I think you're right.

It's another topic that we actually want to explore quite soon. So we'll uncover and unravel it there. But it's like you say, it's the influences you've had and the perspectives that you've had when you brought up. the influences you've had and the perspectives that you've had when you brought up. And so that kind of brings me to another question for you is what is the best professional advice that you've received along your journey of setting your own direction? I would say it really came from my dad and he was always telling me, he's like, just follow what you love, right? Like, and I didn't understand.

And I looked at it very surface level for a long time. For many years, I was just like, oh, okay. He's just, he just wants me to be happy is what I was thinking. But now I kind of understand it at a way deeper level. And I think what he was trying to show me, it was like, when you're in the vibration of something that you love, right?

You're raising like your vibration, right? And you're excited about it. And that's what makes you successful, right? It's not because, oh, you feel good. Like there is so much to be said, like people, you really can feel someone else's energy, right? And if you're doing something, like Saj and I were talking, right? So many people work in jobs that they hate, right? Or they don't even think about the job that they're about to take because it's like a friend referred them and it's probably something they don't even want, right? But you stay in it and like that lowers your vibration, right? You're doing something you don't even want to do. And if you're doing something that you love or you're just following things that you love, your vibration gets so it's raised so much higher. And it kind of opens doors for you. But that to me was the best advice really to stay and just keep doing things that you love, which is, you know, so funny, because what I love to do, you know, when I was, you know, that age was like, learning about how our mind affects

things. And now that's what I'm doing. And that's, you know, where I see, you know, it seems like, oh, synchronicity or coincidence, but I don't really believe in coincidence. I really think it's because like, hey, I really love doing this. And so I like attract situations that help me, you know, further my, like my goals and my message. So, you know, to me, that is one of the simplest things you can do. And I think it really is simple, right? There's a lot of people who think, oh, being successful or doing this or life in general has to be so complicated. And it really doesn't. It's like easier than we think. But we let so much noise get in the way and we let so much self-doubt come in the way.

And we listen to what other people are telling us who are also in self-doubt. And we just stop ourselves from making it easy and just like flowing. I love that. May we all find our flow. Yeah. Yeah, I just paused there because I know a lot of it probably resonates with you, Nicole. So big time, big time. That's a lot of the conversations I've been having with people this last year is about following your joy. And I completely agree with you. It's such a simple

thing and yet it can be so daunting. And sometimes you have to be okay with that and then still work through it and still find your voice. Yeah. you have to give yourself permission to do it. And that is really hard for a lot of people, including myself, right? To give yourself permission to just do, or not just, but to do something that you really love, right? It sounds easy, but so many of us like just don't give ourselves permission to do that. And I think that and that's why that's like a really big energetic principle that I teach and I give people visualizations because like permission is a big, big thing, right? Just it's almost like, sometimes people call it like having this, like believing you can have something, right? Or, you know, you see people in January, a lot of times are creating vision boards. And I see sometimes people have these like very limited

vision boards, right? It's like, I want, you know, this small house or it's like, they're afraid to have a big dream. Right. And I remember actually, when I was a kid, people would tell me that it's so funny. It was just coming back to me the other day. And I was like, yeah, because I had these huge dreams. And people would always tell me like, you need to be more realistic. Or I don't like I think you're thinking or sometimes people would actually even insult me and be like, Who do you think you are? You think you're some kind of royalty? And I look back and I was like, No, that is bullshit. Like I can have a huge dream. And I have permission to have that and no one can tell me that I can't.

And I think so many people limit their dreams, you know, like there's this whole idea. And I've had even friends who tell me this, well, you can't have a job that you love and have, you know, a great relationship and have money, right? There's like all these people have this belief around that you can't have it all. Like, that's not fair. Like, why? Why isn't that fair? Because you don't believe you can have it too? Like, that's crazy. Of course, we can all have that. And that's, you know, I actually learned that from selling, which is really fascinating. I saw people who would go in and they would be threatened by me, right? Even when I was on their own team. And they'd be like, well, if you're doing that, I might not be able to do that. And I was like, that is not true. Like,

there is more than enough for everybody here. And there's a more than enough abundance and everything in the world where everyone actually can have what they want. But, you know, so many of us don't are so scared to believe that. And we don't give ourselves permission. And that's like, what's holding us back. So I'm like a huge Trevor Noah fan. And he had Oprah on his show. And I was watching a snippet of it. And he just asked her a really interesting question. He was like, oh, you know, you've accomplished so much. And you're kind of a trailblazer in your own right. And how is it that you've managed to, you know, be Oprah, right? And something along those lines. And she was like, she's like, well, it kind of just boils down to one thing is that I know what

I want. And so I go after kind of what I want. And a lot of people don't even spend the time to really understand what it is that they want. Right. How are you going to go after something if you don't know where you're trying to go? And it was just so funny that, you know, he asked her, like, how could you possibly answer that in like one sentence? Right. in like one sentence, right? But she did. And it was very interesting. It's always very interesting, I think, because sometimes when you're having these conversations and it might just be with your friend at the coffee shop, it doesn't seem like it's so profound. But if Oprah says it's so profound,

but it's the same concept, right? It's the same concept, right? Is that like while you're in it it while you're in the thick of it this is when it actually counts you know the advice that you're getting um and even some of the advice that you're sharing with our audience you know you can be at any point in your life and still take this and find gems and find different ways to incorporate in your life because that's how it starts right it's never like you know right? It's never like, you know, oh, well, when I look back, everything, you know, Steve Jobs says, when I look back, everything happened for a reason, everything went in line. But when you're sitting

there, it doesn't feel like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And I think that advice is so, you know, it's so simple and so powerful, but so many times we don't, yeah, look at what we want. And it's like, we're afraid to even ask for it or we're afraid to, you know, say, oh, this is what I really want. And it's so amazing to me, especially because I work sometimes with people who are very early in their careers. And it's like, they just take this job because it was like a referral from a friend, or they're like, I just need, you know, I spoke, like I was saying at my college a couple of years ago and I saw, you know, all of these kids

who were terrified to get jobs and they would have just taken anything. I'm like, that is not the way to live your life, right? Like figure out what you want to do and you can almost reverse engineer it, right? If you're like, hey, I want to be the CEO of this company, right, there's a couple of steps you need to do. And you can almost reverse engineer it, right? If you're like, hey, I want to be the CEO of this company, right? There's a couple steps you need to do to do to get there. I mean, you could start out and just start a startup and be a CEO these days. But you could also say like, hey,

I'm going to do this, this, this, right? But you you want to decide what you actually want. And even like, if you're already in a career, like looking for the type of company you want, So many times people are like, oh, I'll take this job, even though I know this company treats its employees so badly and their work, you know, people justify it. They're like, well, it'll be a good stepping stone. And, you know, then I'll have great references. And I'm like, no, that's not. I mean, if that's how you want to live your life, that's fine. But like you could actually decide, hey, this is what I want.

But people are like, oh, no, I can't have a company that really, you know, supports me and respects me and empowers me and pays me well and will look great at my resume. But that's not true. You can find that. All you have to do is set the intention and say that you want it. So many times we've been told that we don't believe it's possible. And it's not usually us. It's somebody else has told us that. And that's the whole thing about, hey, get rid of everybody else's thoughts, everybody else's energy, and just tune into yourself. I think it's so interesting as well, how people expect young people at 18 to like,

know exactly. And like, when you ask a kid a kid you know what do you want to be one day and then they say something and we hold them to that you know it's like well don't you dare change your mind and figure out who you are and then go off in a different direction right and like how can you possibly figure it out without some trial and error I mean and that's like the other big thing and I've been having this conversation a lot with people because I used to be very big in the coaching community. And I'm not so much anymore because what I noticed is there's this idea with some people that you always have to fix something or you have to make sure you make the right decision.

And I see a lot of people on social media who are coaches who are like, you have to look out for these red flags and you have to make sure you never do this. And you know, you have to make yourself better at this. And I'm like, no, like all of that is so fear-based. Like I always tell people, you cannot make a wrong decision because there's no such thing as right or wrong. And like, I see this a lot with especially like relationship coaches where they're like, this is such a red flag. If like this man does that, I'm like, no, that is bullshit. Like the point of a relationship is to learn. Right.

Like we think, oh, it's to find true love. No, it's to learn about yourself. Right. You might get that as, you know, as a benefit. But really, if you're looking at it that way, like, oh, I need this person to complete me. That's not going to help you. But if you look at it, like, hey, I can learn some lessons in this situation. Like, hey, maybe it does end up being a toxic relationship, but maybe you needed that to learn a certain lesson, right? Same way, maybe you need you make a decision about a job and

you're like, I never should have taken that job. Well, instead of like shaming yourself, you can be like, well, okay, that was a great learning experience, right? What did I learn from that? So I always tell people like, don't overthink like making the right decision or worry so much about making, doing something wrong. Whatever you do, it's like, I do believe we are universally guided in some way. And that we learn the lessons that we're meant to learn. But if we, if we never make a mistake, then how could we ever possibly learn something, right? Like, how can we, you know, make progress if we're all if we're all if everything's like, you know, there's never any conflict in our life? Like, what are we going to learn from that? Like,

you have to make like what we call mistakes, right? To learn, we have to try different things. And it's about being brave and being like, hey, this might be a total disaster and might, you know, break my heart or like, you know, drain my bank account. But guess what? I'm going to learn from it. And that's like the best thing that we can do is just kind of look at those learnings. And yeah, like sometimes it's painful and sometimes it hurts a little bit, but you know what? Like, usually when we look back at those experiences, we're really grateful. And we're like, you know what? I learned so much from that. You know, the only, you know, negative thing is if we don't look at it and pay attention to the lesson, it'll probably come up again in a different way.

So I'm always like, pay attention, pay attention to the lessons, because you're going to keep getting them until you let them sink in. And we really draw into our lives, you know, what it is that we're needing, you know, we from within you, you kind of creating your world. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. And so much of it is like, we're manifesting our reality, right? And that sounds like really out there. But like, we actually are like the challenges you have in your life are because you're meant to learn certain things. And I know sometimes people have really, really hard situations, and I don't want to discount that. But there's learning there, right? You know, there really is. And that's why you hear people like, Oprah when you hear about how she grew up

and some of the things she was challenged with. There's a lot of people in her situation who could not look at that and turn it around. But if you really have listened to her story, she always had the mindset that she could turn it around. It was in her mind. She was like, I'm not going to let this affect me. You know, these like things that these traumas that happened in childhood, the way that I grew up, she just had a belief that she could do something great.

And that's what made a difference, right? We're talking about experiential learning. What is your experiential learning next year look like for you? If, you know, we asked about 10 years ago, like, what is the next year from now? What are you kind of drawing in for yourself? Oh, that's a great question. To me, it's really being more focused on really like sharing like, like, like kind of like really making it simple, right? Like talking about these five phobias and these five energetic principles. Because that to me, I feel like so much, even like I used to study a lot of really older,

like kind of spiritual texts. And some of them, I will say I've learned looking at them now are a little overly complicated and a little bit, you know, efforty, right? Where they're telling people like, oh, you have to do this, or you have to think this way, or you have to meditate this way. And one of the things, really big things I've learned in the last couple of years is that it can be really simple. And that's why I wrote this book, right, with these five principles, because I was like, I think it can actually be easier than we think. I think a lot of times we overcomplicate it and we think, you know, we have to put all this effort or we have to struggle, right, to be successful. And I would say that has been my biggest challenge too, is I really thought I had to struggle

as an entrepreneur. So this year, my intention is just for, to really make it easy and simple. To me is the newest principle I'm really trying to embrace is just not struggling and making things easy and simple. I think those go together. Amen. Amen to that. Something that we do on each episode too is at the end of it, we just put like a gem of the week. And basically what we mean by that is what is enabling and empowering you to be a successful working professional in the world? For me, something that I read this week was I read a post by your favorite Nicole, Stephen

Bartlett, and it said, just because it's taking long, it doesn't mean it's not happening. So if you're a little better than last year, a little better than the year before, you don't need to worry. You need patience. And I was like, that definitely resonates with me because sometimes I'm like, oh, my God, I have like 500 things to do. And then I'll look back at the last week and I'm like, well, I did like 200 of them. So we all struggle with kind of certain aspects. And for me, a lot of that is not like setting the to-do list or accomplishing it. It's just reminding myself that, hey, if it still takes, you know, one year versus

six months, it's still an accomplishment, right? Or it's still in the right direction. It's still like, how do you measure success, right? And I think when you don't, when you're setting your own path, sometimes it's still in the right direction. It's still like, how do you measure success, right? And I think when you don't, when you're setting your own path, sometimes it's hard to measure success, because it's not like you have KPIs that all your other teammates have, and you can quickly gauge, okay, well, I'm at the top, or I'm at the bottom, or I can see how to get to the top, because I can just follow the top salesperson, you're really just on your own path here and you're measuring based on either

happiness or money or whatever parameter or metric that there is and so I really like this way of measuring and that was my gem of the week what was yours Nicole mine was has or has really been soaking up sunshine here in the Aresh region uh it's really beautiful and just watching gracie my dog have friends so where i'm staying now is a work away and it's this beautiful energy exchange of where i'm living at the same time giving back through helping and um there are four other big dogs here australian shepher, they're beautiful and so kind and loving. And Gracie is just tiny compared to them, but absolutely shining and big and bold in her confidence and in her, you know, sharing of space. So as a doggy mom, that really makes me happy. And it's really

kind of brought me new energy to work this week as well. How about you, Christine? new energy to work this week as well. How about you, Christine? Yeah, my biggest one, I'm rereading this book that I read several years ago. It's called A Path to Wealth. And it's really a great book about kind of like money mindset. And this thing stood out to me because I always am like telling people to follow their intuition, right? But there's something different in this book that really stood out for me this time I was reading it. And she says, you have to follow your intuition every time, right, not just sometimes, every time. Like every time you get a nudge

or something pops into your head, you follow it. And so I've been doing that this week and I've been having incredible results, like things that I did not even expect, Right. Cause some like, and it was, I was realizing, Oh, sometimes I second guess myself like, Oh, maybe I'm not going to reach out to that person because they're so busy and they don't have time for me. And I'm like doing it anyway. And I've like had the most amazing week doing that. So that to me has been my highlight of the week. That's a really good reminder for a lot of our audience. I like that you said every time,

because that's so true. I think there are certain instances where you always second guess yourself, like it could be around a friend or a partner. But then there are other instances where you kind of are like, no, this is how I feel about it. This is what I'm going to do. Right. I think it's also such a nice kind of segue into a final thought, what we'd like to leave with the audience. But before we do that, Christine, how can people find you? Yeah. So you can go, and I just changed my company name. So it's the quietsellingmethod.com. So you can find me there. You can find me on social media at Quiet Selling Method. You can find me on Instagram at Christine Volden.

So you can find me in all of those places. And then I'm going to, I will definitely relaunch this Claim Your Confidence Challenge. So your audience can find that. And I'll put that on social media and also on quietsellingmethod.com. Amazing. So to you guys all out there, we're asking what has helped you to set a new direction in your life? And are there any specific tools you've used to help you when charting a new path for yourself? What are the support systems that you have in place to allow

you the freedom to explore? And what does a new path look like for you? We'd love to hear from you. So please share your thoughts on this topic by engaging with us on LinkedIn at Friday Feels and on Instagram at These Friday Feels. And remember to tag us using hashtag These Friday Feels to share your stories. And you can work with us or potentially have us broadcast Friday Feels from your space.

So check out our website at Friday-Feels.co or reach out to us at hello at Friday-Feels.co. Next week, it's a new month, new energy and new topic to be announced. So stay tuned what we have in store for February. It's going to be epic. But until next time, that's our mix we've had fun mingling with you and we wish you safe travels into your bed into the night and into this awesome weekend see you next week keep it real