Your Happy Hour - Our Human Hardware

Episode Date: March 6, 2026

This month we’re talking about “Our Human Hardware” and in this kick-off conversation we chat to Omar Alaoui - professional coach and psychometrics practitioner who works at the intersection of psychology and technology and spent years in consulting and HR-tech, exploring a question that kept coming back: why do well-intentioned people hurt, frustrate, or misunderstand each other at work (and in life)? And so he built SotsAI - a project bridging the intention-impact gap.In this episode, we delve into the complexities of human behavior, and the importance of understanding our own and others' unique experiences. Omar also shares his take on the connection between our physical bodies and our internal selves, the role of self-acceptance, how external influences shape our identities and the power of curiosity and compassion in it all.The Feels is all about having those honest conversations, the power of community for personal growth and taking those actionable steps towards being our authentic selves.Thanks for tuning in! Keep it raw and real out there xYHH is produced by swartkat.co - captured via riverside.fm & shared via rss.com.

It's the Friday feels and we're back with your first sip of the weekend. You're now tuned in to this week's episode of your happy hour. I'm your host Nicole Carmine and it's amazing to have you here. Joining me this week as we uncover the truths about being a human and a working professional. What are you up to this Friday? Well, whatever it is, this moment is just for you. Big welcome back to the feel space and the Your Happy Hour podcast. And it's a new month, it's March, can you believe it?

And we are talking about a new theme this month called Our Human Hardware. So what does this mean? What does it mean to be human? This is kind of how this question and this theme came about. And what does it mean to look at our bodies? our vessels as a piece of hardware, our brains, the way it functions. How do we kind of evolve? How do we upgrade ourselves the way we would with our iPhone perhaps?

Or how are we rejuvenating our individual bodies and also collectively as a society? And so there's so many questions around this theme. I can't wait to unpack. And today I have an amazing guest and I'm really excited to get to know a little bit as well. I want to say a big welcome to you, Omar, to the field space, and you're happy our podcast. Thank you so much, Nicole. I'm so happy to be here with you as well. Yeah, it's such a wonderful pleasure. And I'd love for you to just kind of give me and also the audience a little bit of a journey of like how you got to be where you are today. You know, just tell us about what you do.

Of course. So a little flashback. In my childhood, actually I've always been fascinated. by human behavior, how people behave, how people actually act and react to each other's, I would say, words. Sometimes that gap between their intention and the impact of what happened after they said something. That's something that really got me thinking a lot. I was so very inclined to study, I would say, this field of human behavior, human interaction, because my mother is a professional coach and she had a lot of books and readings

about this kind of stuff. So I grew up with this, but I grew up in Morocco, a country where every time I said, hey, I want to work in psychology, I want to work in human behavior. People usually answer that's pretty cool. Yeah, that's a cool hobby.

And what would be your real job? So basically, after hearing that thousands of times, I decided to become an engineer, so software engineer, joined E.Y. Did HR transformation strategy. I then joined the startup world, connected back to my first love, so human behavior, human people development in the organization, coaching. I had a lot of different, well, I would say, jobs and missions around like coaching program design, around behavioral science, around psychometrics as well. That's something I love and I will talk about that also during this podcast. And all these led me to build my own company. Why?

because I everywhere I went everywhere I worked with every client I worked with with every client I worked sorry I found that this same issue there is as I said earlier

these intention impacts gap in communication we've all heard that he's famous but I just gave him feedback when did he start crying or I told him or heard 10 times and he still doesn't get it, we still doesn't get it. Every time we tend to believe that we have the same hardware, you know,

that we are the same, we have the same brain, that we should understand things the same way. And it's simply not the case. We are all different. We all have different backstories. We all have different personalities. We all have different communication preferences. and thus it's super important to know how to adapt, to reconnect our hardware to their person's hardware in order to effectively communicate.

So I designed something to help people better adapt their communication to their intellectual in the workplace. That's what my company is all about. That is super interesting and I feel like this is the perfect topic for you. Indeed. Well, first of all, I want to say I really like this idea of the intention, impact gap, and I've never really thought about it much. But last month, we also spoke about how to honest it up.

And this idea of like how do you give and accept feedback and how different that is for everyone. And I think it's the same in this situation with this theme. What is it to be human to you? What is your experience of that? what is your narrative? What is, yeah, like how are you hardwired or maybe softwired in some way? And it's interesting. I think a lot of people might look at astrology and be like, oh, if you're Aquarius,

then you think like this. If you're a scorpion, you know, look out for them or whatever it might be. But I think it's really important to understand ourselves and to have more compassion. Like while you were speaking, the word curiosity came to mind for me. And I think if we're more curious about each other and not trying to judge and just have compassion for that space, it will be a lot easier to be human. But what does that mean to you? Like, what does human hardware mean to you? What is being human mean to you?

I mean, I know these are big questions, but yeah. Yeah, beautiful questions. I agree on the curiosity side, we can come back to that later. But to answer a question about what it is to be human to me, what's the hardware. for me, there are like, yeah, there are several parts, several aspects. There's, of course, the body. I mean, we are humans, we have a body. We have something that embodies what's like our intention, what we do, what we eat,

our activities, like everything that's related to how we interact with the world around us. So that includes, of course, the body, how I get up, how I sit, if I run, if I walk the way, I express myself, am I moving hands when I'm talking, am I moving my eyebrows when I'm talking, etc. All this is part of who I am as a human being first, but also as a unique human being, because the way I move is probably super different from the way you move or anybody else can move. It's a form of an expression of our uniqueness for me. That's the first part. And the second part would be the internal connectors.

What I call internal conductors is mainly, I'll simplify that by calling it the brain, but it's really the personality, the traits, the preferences, what's the psychological need that we might have. Because even though we might think that as human, we all have the same needs, that's not true. Behavioral science showed that that's not true. We have several different needs. on different kind of proportion. And those proportions depends on who we are, our backstories, our personality, like the things that we were born with even sometimes.

And for me, this part, maybe the softer part of the hardware, is as important as the other parts to define who you are as a unique human being. Because, for instance, one could need, I don't know, like recognition for their opinions. I mean, they need to be heard, to feel heard in the way, well, they share vision, they share, well, yeah, their opinion on a topic, et cetera, et cetera, while another person couldn't care less about this. I mean, yeah, cool, I shared something.

You're not hearing it. It's fine. I don't care. I'd rather just have fun with you, et cetera. And these two people, none of them is weird and the other one is the right one. Like there is no right way to be. I love what you say about suspending judgments earlier. And that's exactly my point here.

I mean, we're all valid or all the ways of being are valid. We just need to have this curiosity to understand how the other one is wired and try to adapt the way we can interact with them. because I mean that's part of what makes us human for me is the part that has been neglected so, so much well in the history of human beings because we cannot see that, we cannot touch that, we can touch a body, we can say, hey, you have a big nose, cool, ha ha ha, that's something that's, that is palpable, you know, but personality, et cetera, no. And for me, that part, that part, is key in understanding our human hardware because that part influences actually the first part I thought about the body,

the way you move, the way you express yourself the tone of your voice, everything else depends and relies on this for me. It makes so much change when you explain it like that. I agree and the image that came to mind for me now is like someone who could be really tall and not feel confident and so they kind of slump but the confidence comes from within right it's that like human part of it

and what they do with their body in the world exudes that expression of the humanness so they work so like nicely hand in hand we have to have the one to have the other I mean imagine we were just this like fuzzy blob inside and we had a way to express that into the world I guess that's the part of being human that is beautiful, but yet so daunting at the same time and vulnerable. So what has that been like for you in your journey as a human having a vessel, having a hard way?

Like what is, yeah, how have you coped with integrating these two and expressing? Yeah, that's actually a very interesting question because as you said, this vessel is it is saying some things about what's within. And so yeah, in my story, my personal story, this vessel actually had different, I would say purposes. I used it in different ways because the main I want to say a captain in that vessel is the brain. So that brain decided several things about how this body should act, should be, should look, etc. depending on external signs at first. And I think many, many, many, many, many people can have shared the same experience,

especially when you grow up, you're young or you start being a teenager and like the way, like you started defining your personality and people are joking at you, maybe sometimes judging you, and that affects you, affects the way you want to, look to them affect the way you want to maybe change things, the things that you would think that might not be valid in order to be validated as a human being in the eyes of other people. So I would say in my journey, my body plays, had played that role of, I want to say the trying to showcase what the other people would have liked to see in me, or at least I thought, that they would have liked to see that in me in, well, in my younger time, I would say.

And so that could be reflected in several ways, the way I, I, dressed, the way I walked, the way I tried to change a tone of my voice, the way I, well, I used to brush my hair when I had hair. And yes, I want to what I'm trying to say here is that a vessel, it plays a role as this, how do I put that? It's what the other people are seeing, the other people are maybe judging, the other people are maybe evaluating. And I mean, you're evaluated through what you're displaying. And when you don't have that confidence within that self-sufficient, I would say, within, you tend to over-a-over, adapt and your body tends to over adapt as well. And you might at some point come to a disconnection, you know.

That's why it's super interesting to talk about these two parts, the vessel and the captain within because at some point the captain can look at the mirror and have a look at that vessel and say, whoa, what's happening? Who are you? Are you me? And thank God that through like my experiences, my last therapy, coaching, etc. I managed to find that alignment, inner alignment, self-sufficient, some confidence, et cetera, in order to have a body and a body language and a tone of voice,

etc. that aligns and reflects entirely what's within. So yes, I think what I'm trying to say here that we tend to quickly jump on judging the vessel and expecting some kind of like archetype a good vessel should be this and that and that and that and that and we kind see that in the eyes of other people sometimes there's nothing there but just our brain like plainness into believing that tricking us into believe in that and in the end that's, I mean, that's meaningless. In the end, the most important is the alignment. The most important is what's within.

I mean, once what's within is cleaned, is aligned, is centered, well, the vessel will just follow that flow, if I may. I 100% agree. And I think it's a journey to get to watching. explaining now and that understanding of it, you know. And I mean, I think we all go through that when we like you younger. And I think a lot of what we, yeah, like you say, want to be is just accepted. Like to me, the word acceptance comes up and it's like you just want to be loved in the world.

And it starts with your family or people around you and maybe at school, you know, kids. Our kids can be so mean. So it's really understanding who you are. But it's deeper than that. It's like an acceptance of who you are and loving that. And there's a reason that you came into this life of being human and the way you have, like you say, your voice has a reason to be the way it is. It has a frequency that will change things.

And it's beautiful, but we often try hard that. And it's really hard to be human in this. You know, I think that's, it's a funny game, you know. Like I think I often sit and I think like, what is this? all about, you know, but I think it's a beautiful experience. So thank you for sharing that. And I'm really happy that you could get to that point on the other side. It's inspiring for us and for the audience listening to know that it's possible because sometimes you just need to see somebody else accepting and loving themselves to be like, hey, I can do that for me too, you know.

So, but it's really interesting. And I mean, obviously you studied a lot of this, but do you did you have people kind of along the journey that helped you see this or mental? Yeah, of course, of course. I mean, the best people to help you see this is the first people who will truly accept you for who you are. I love that part of you. The part that you, like as a younger person, you wouldn't have believed that could be accepted and loved. And once you find this person, because we all have. those people around us. Sometimes we lack the, I want to say clairvoyance to identify them, but they're there.

Actually, it could be family, could be friends, could be teachers, could be like anything like that, people who just accept, they are just accepting you for who you are. And once you have this, I call that permission, this person is actually telling you, you are allowed to appreciate who you are, like, and fully appreciate who you are in all the good and the bad that you embrace, because we're not perfect, nobody's perfect. In my journey, I had several people who played that role, and I thank them very much. I wouldn't be here without them. Like, when I say here, I mean in this place, but also in this state of mind and all. So for me, that's something they shouldn't be neglected because as we're talking about the hardware,

for me, these are like the, you know, in your computer sometimes you have this software that helps you clean and cleanse everything else. Well, these people are playing that role for your. human hardware if you see what I mean. So I want to say that throughout the journey and it's a never-ending journey, I had a lot of people and I'm still having many, many people playing that role of like giving you permission to accept who you are because you see that acceptance in the eyes of others. But of course the ultimate goal is to have that within accepting you and yourself the way you are. but of course that that's having that's from outside is a helper and a booster. I love that you've had those people.

I think that sometimes we discover them a lot later in the journey too. I think that's been my experience. And sometimes we think that the romantic partner we choose is that person. And that's not always the case. But something I came to mind for me when you were talking is, well, firstly the fact we can be that for other people. I think the more we can, the more we create space for that in the world too, which is amazing. And kind of get to like shine the light, you know.

I think if people, if we can shine more light, then what will reflect back is exactly what you're saying. It's like being a mirror for someone and giving permission. And it's interesting with the hardware because I think of my laptop and I'm like, you know, if I, sometimes you get these dialogue box things that pop up and they're like, confirm. like yes is it okay and you're like yes delete everything cleanse me yes exactly so maybe it's just doing that we're really just making sure that everything flows well in your body and like you say and yeah so that's really beautiful and i think mentors people that give you that space are really important

and seek them seek them they are out there exactly because they are out there yes and actually on that i want to say like thank you to the people who give us the space to have these conversations and that is our partners rsasas.com who are our distributors of the podcast into the world and then also something that's quite nutritious for the vessel for the for the hard way is called blender bombs bomb company who have given our audience a wonderful 20% discount on any bombs that you order and that's like nutritious snacks that you can eat on the go and then very lastly we have partnered with be an e-sim which is a e-sim called Best Network Ever.

And yeah, so a bit more hard way to keep you connected to other humans. So thank you so much to all of them for being our partners. And you can reach out to us on the socials for more information about the discounts that they've given. And then I also want to take a quick moment to do a shout-out to what we call up people, places and spaces, the PPS. And this is a person or organization that we feel has the feels. You know, so each week we do a shout-out.

them and I actually want to give a shout out to a space which we held our premier party for my other venture, Be Live. It feels like last week, but it was the week before that. It was called enchanted or is called Enchanted Tools. And I think it's a really nice shout out for this episode because they are creating robots. And these robots are so beautifully crafted, so creative. They have these personalities. They talk back to you. And What I think is really cool about what they're doing is they're bringing kind of AI and creativity together, but more so maybe also even showing us what it is to be human, to appreciate our hardware, to appreciate how we can move,

and just watching them kind of code these robots and their experience there. So thank you for hosting us. Just want to shout out to them. What they do is very enchanted and it is a tool, so it's quite an interesting combination. and we love your feels guys. And then I want to move into a little segment called The Jems. So this is something that you might have experienced this week

that you can have gratitude for or that you have learned that you can share. And so I'll start. My gem has been we had a wonderful fields mixer. We have these events in Paris and hopefully soon in other cities. And it's called drinks in the city. And we just had so many people show up. and it was just fantastic. It's so wonderful to see the fields grow more and more

and be able to connect in the way we are, you know, as these vessels, together in person and not just online. So that was such a dream and being able to share the space with everyone. So, yeah, what has it been for you? For me, it's something really deep and personal, but it's... I'm going to be a father soon. And last, like seven days ago, exactly, we had the very first

ticography and everything was fine. I can't wait for me that baby and I mean, I'm super happy that everything went well. And for me, that would be that. Oh, that is amazing. Well, firstly congratulations. Thank you. So happy that everything is healthy and good with the little vessel and the baby. that's coming and I'm sure whatever personality and human is meant for you is going to be such

an interesting journey to share in so that's an amazing dream thank you for sharing that and I wonder if everyone else is listening out there what are you feeling about being human about your body about this vessel about this topic and we want to hear all the fields so please do let us know on the socials and then I have one more last question for you Amar and that is what we call our reading list and it's called the stack. So it could be books that you've read and would like to recommend, or that you're still eyeing and it's still sitting there on your stack. So can you maybe tell us what is in your stack?

Let me check the titles in English first, because as you might have heard, I'm not a native speaker. So the author is Tybee Color and it's, yeah, the process therapy model, I guess. I hope that's the one. Well, probably. Let's say that's probably it. And that's basically a book that describes the journey of this behavioral scientific researcher, who started in psychiatry.

And he tells the story of how he got into crafting, designing his own psychometric model, called the process communication model, a model psychometric that I love, that I feel is very smartly crafted because opposed to other psychometric tools, it also explains the changes in personality that you can have in life, whereas other are very, I would say, stuck in time, you know what I mean? Like you have that score and that sits. This one is very evolutive. you can predict some evolution. And it's pretty interesting. I mean, for me, it was my first, like the process communication model was my first step into

psychometrics. But this book really, it explains everything. And it's a bit complex when you're not, I would say, familiar with some concepts. But you can get there. So that would be my, yeah. my stack otherwise, otherwise, otherwise. There is that one. I read it every once in a while, every other year.

It's the alchemist from Paolo Coelho. Wonderful book about a journey about this. For me it's a huge metaphor about this search of the treasure within. pleasure within. And it's for me a big, big, big illustration of what we're trying to talk about today. Like how sometimes you need to go far, far, far away and do many, many things to end up reconnecting with that little something that you have already inside that you had from day one. Oh, I love these recommendations. Thank you. And it's funny, this is the second time someone is mentioned the alchemist today. So I really need to read that book. And I will be adding both

of those to my stack. And for those who want to read more of the books that get recommended on the podcast, you can head over to the website. And they will be on the stack page. So thank you for those. And just a huge thank you for coming on sharing so openly, so honestly. And yeah, just such an interesting journey that you've walked. And I feel like we could just have more and more conversations about all of this. But thank you very much for sharing. Thank you for having me. If you haven't just yet, follow Friday Feels on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and LinkedIn.

You can share with us all your feels this week by tagging us at Fridayfeels.com. And you can also find the website at that handle. And now, as you ease into this weekend, take a moment. celebrate who you've become, what you've overcome, and what is yet to come as you do, the crazy and cool things that you do as the authentic you. You know, the truth about life and work is that it's hard, but the beauty is this global working experience that you're in while we earn it together. So keep connecting, empowering and inspiring this week.

And of course, keep it raw. real. Until next time.