Your Happy Hour - Relieving Achieving

Episode Date: January 2, 2026

New month, new theme: Let’s chat about Relieving Achieving! In this episode, we meet up with Desmond Denton, an award-winning director and writer to learn about his journey from South African to where he finds himself now in the USA and working globally in his artistic pursuits. From filmmaking to challenges in balancing integrity with societal expectations, the significance of creating from a place of authenticity rather than validation and the importance of structure in creative work, he reminded us of the, and the power of storytelling in connecting communities. The Feels is all about having those honest conversations, the power of community for personal growth and taking those actionable steps towards being our authentic selves.Thanks for tuning in! Keep it raw and real out there xYHH is produced by swartkat.co - captured via riverside.fm & shared via rss.com.

It's the Friday Feels, and we're back with your first sip of the weekend. You're now tuned in to this week's episode of your happy hour. I'm your host Nicole Carmine, and it's amazing to have you here. joining me this week as we uncover the truths about being a human and a working professional. What are you up to this Friday? Well, whatever it is, this moment is just for you. And we're back with another episode of the Fields podcast, Your Happy Hour. We are now in the month of January. And last month we spoke about a topic called repurposing purpose.

And I thought that was really a great way to end off 20, 2025. And now we are entering a new month. We're talking about the theme relieving, achieving this month, which is also a great way to start a new year, as we always ponder about what it is that we feel is our purpose, and we always want to achieve something in a new year, new goals, new year's resolutions. It's always the new year's start.

But we kind of get told that it's not so much about the destination or the achievement, and it's really more about the journey to that and what drives us. And so I'm wondering what achieving and maybe relieving achieving means to everyone out there. What does it look like? What does it cost? And how does it feel for you in your body? So to start this theme for the month, we have a really amazing guest join. us today. A really big welcome to you, Desmond Denton, to the field space and the your happy

hour podcast. Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure and happy new year to you. So because the fields are all about our honest conversations and learning about your journey, I was curious if you can maybe just take us in a little bit of a journey of how you got to being where you are today, you are award-winning director, a writer. Whenever I talk to you, you're on the road shooting something. So yeah, just give us a little bit of a lowdown on what the journey was for you. There's always a few ways that you can share about the journey, kind of how you got there, you can go the academic route, what you've studied. But for me, it's always been a love for art that kind of started the whole journey from going to theatre with my parents and seeing

well-known South African actors like Gavin von Barre on something like Boeing 747 Oy Vita at the Baxter. So there's always been a love for seeing how a black space can transform, how you can go on a journey with the story. And I mean, growing up in South Africa where I'm originally from, stories I always

say is part of our blood, it's part of our DNA, whether it is looking at politics and laughing and telling stories about what's going on or more serious things. Stories I really feel such an integral part of who we are as Africans, as South African and people. So yeah, my journey has taken me through film school, studying film directing.

I've worked on film sets since I was 15, started working as a runner, learning how to make good coffee so that I can stay on a film set. Just an absolute love for storing. And it's, I must say that it's been an incredible journey from working with well-known filmmakers, learning from masters, as well as the current series where I'm filming stories of master artists around the world. So it's been a, yeah, and I'm currently living in America. So that's kind of like, like a very short intro to to kind of my story. That's amazing. I love that you followed your heart and your passion and, you know, like, yeah,

you found your purpose, I guess, in some sense and what you want to do in the world. And I'm very passionate about art too and following your heart or art. If you want to compare those two, it's kind of the same. So what does this theme mean to you when you, I mean, we kind of picked this together. You said it resonated. but yeah what does it bring up for you what i like about it is that in the world of art and especially filmmaking outcome or let's call it achievement is really at the top of the ranking order so whether you go to a film festival it's always like everyone shows their badges in a way it's kind of like

and it's almost that you're validated by your worth is validated by what is your last film what is your latest achievement and it's really interesting especially living in america where a lot part of the world is based on this outcome base. Like, what are you doing? What are you doing? You need to do more. You need to achieve more. And what is interesting before we came to the US, knowing that is kind of the setting, we really thought hard. And we had a good process of three months just traveling through Asia, through Vietnam, through Thailand, about what is our own story and kind of our idea of when we come to the US, what we want to do? Because you can very easily fall into that trap and be running

someone else's story or just being busy with what you need to be or become that you don't even realize why. So for me, I think the topic is very personal. I always said there's a well-known verse that says, what good is it for a man if he gains the world yet he forfeits his soul? And I think it's a, we're not even trying to be spiritual about it. It really is like that. In my research that I'm doing with artists, when I went to Norway, I just discovered how incredible it is, seeing these people who has accomplished a lot? How does their lives look like? How does their daily rhythms look like? What is the choices they make? And as you mentioned earlier, at what cost? So I think all the time when you're making goals, you kind of need to look at it and say to you,

there's always two whys. The one is the project wise. So whether it is an example of film you're making that might be, listen, I want to make a popcorn film. I want to make money. And we all need to make money as people, as artists. Or it is a deeper why. You say to yourself, well, this that I'm doing, there's something more to it. And the third why is definitely why. Like when I as an investor look at someone, I always always ask them, why should you tell this story, which is maybe a bit tricky for especially young, young artists, because it puts you on the spot.

Yeah, I think it's a difficult thing. And I think as you go through life, your answer will change. If you ask me now in early 2026, what is my why? it always starts with my personal belief, my inner core, my family. I definitely don't want to do anything that puts that at risk. And that's a great start because I feel like that is when we moved to the US, that's what came with me, was my beliefs and my family luckily. So I was able to bring my wife and at that stage two children with.

And it was such a special place and a foundation to start from. So I think, yeah, that's definitely, if you ask about the topic, it's the concept of stop creating for validation only so it's like you are the worth based on what other people are saying so whether it is your video went viral and a few thousand people saw it okay but tomorrow then what when you start creating from a deeper sense i really believe it changes what you create and how you create so just to kind of put it in a short nutshell yeah no i think that's really inspirational for me especially listening to you because also creating things i think it's often like that for artists i think a lot of people feel that in different ways in their

life but especially with art because you put so much of yourself in there and then it's really hard to detangle and detach from the worth and the value of that thing so how have you found like you've been able to relieve the achieving like what do you do to not do that i think it's it's really about how you spend your day like i really and that's something i've seen with artists and that's incredible when i've went to norway and i met some of the people who both the Viking ships for Northmen and just seeing how do they live like what is a day and a life of artists look like which was the start of this journey with 24 master artists because I've looked at Einstein I've looked at the well-knowns back in history Mozart and although some of them at

incredible outcomes a lot of them at pretty bad lives if you look at what happened to their families or the well-knowns like Van Gogh or van derogh or van derogh or van derogh who ever these incredible artists are and you look at their life and you're like whoa this is this is not so nice. So is there a way to balance those two? Like high level outcome, great. I'm obsessed with art when I go to see beautiful churches in Ireland and I see how they did the carvings or like how lighting falls through specific windows in a specific place that I travel to. I absolutely love art and I think we shouldn't ever stop pushing our craft. That's one thing I want to say. But if you ask me, how do I relieve? It's a combination of things. Firstly, what I've learned from artists is when I

wake up now and it's a small rhythm that I've started applying is before I jump in, before I used to just jump in, start with what is most urgent client needs, emails, taxes, whatever it is that is kind of like urging and pulling your attention. And I feel sometimes we get trapped there. So what I've started doing, I've learned from him. He's an illustrator in Norway, he would wake up in the morning and for the first hour, he would just literally visualize the whole day. And I found that to be firstly very difficult and daunting because I love being. I love doing things. I've always got too much happening.

So just seeing how he would literally see and walk himself through the day. And then only when he finished that process, kind of envisioning the problems, envisioning the nice things, envisioning what the family needs, envisioning like all the different elements, then he would go and sit and have meditation prayer and then he would write down. So what is the things he needs to do? And I felt that kind of when you start and maybe even end your day, with a little bit of reflection, it really changes what you do. And it comes back to the why.

You're kind of thinking about, and I would write down two or three things. And so, okay, great, these are the things I have to do. These are the things I really want to do. And what is amazing is I ended up being able to do a lot more and a lot more focused. So just from the start of the day. And then at the stage where I'm at my life is time zoning. I have very specific times that I create, whether it is writing or pitching or it is like, this is my time that I spend on clients and work or family.

I wake up pretty early every day. Between four and five, I'm up every day. We're starting to work. So by the time kids come back from school, I've already done my full day of work. So we can go ski in the mountains. So I kind of feel like I have two or three different days. I have my work day. I have my family day.

And then I am lucky enough to have time with myself, my wife. We can just be creative and talk, dance if we want to dance, whatever it is. but I think that time zoning has been really good because then you know like you've done your work for your day and obviously you can't always sometimes there are things that goes beyond that time if I have to be realistic but it's great to work towards this balance or rhythm where you have specific times specific outcomes if I can call it that that you're trying to achieve and at the end of the day you feel like wow I've actually done a lot that's really amazing advice thank you I'm like I'm learning as you're talking because a lot of this stuff I feel like I need to apply in my life.

I'm one of those who makes my coffee and goes right into the laptop, you know. And I'm also trying to sit back, just sit, look outside, like think about the day a little bit more. But it is hard. I mean, I think we're kind of conditioned to want to do, like you say, and achieve. And maybe it is about routine. Like as a child, we also learn, like, there's a certain routine. And we do a lot in that when we, I don't know, I did a lot at school. and I think back, and I'm like, oh, I was so successful, you know, in inverted commas,

because I did so much in a day, but there was routine and structure to it. Yeah, definitely. And I always, sometimes I think we rebel against structure, but there is quite a merit in creating that for yourself as a human. I think just to catch up on that, I look at my own kids, and I'm like, wow, they do sport, they do school, they still have time for friends, and they've got time for book reading. I'm like, well, how do you guys get all this energy? Like, how do you do all this?

And I think specifically as entrepreneurs, as people with our own businesses, often we lack that and I have to agree with you. And that's a big part of our fall is when you work for a boss, when you go to school, there's these things that demands and puts you in, let's call it time zones, in structures. When you work for yourself, you have to create that because otherwise life will carry you away into boxes of what is supposedly urgent or not even. You could find yourself scrolling away on your phone or emails and just going through and at the end of the day, you ask yourself, what did I do? I think it's even more important for artists and for business people, for entrepreneurs, to create that structure so that you can have a balanced life. Yeah, I agree completely.

And I often talk about this concept of being an entrepreneur. Yeah. Because, you know, I think it's just people forget that you have to, as an artist, you do everything yourself anyway. You know, you also have to do the taxes and whatever else. So I'm curious, I mean, your life started for film and everything quite young. But did you see yourself where you are now, 10 years ago? I think there's a film I love, Mr. Nobody.

One of my favorite, I'm a very big fan of 30 seconds tomorrow, is Jared Lito. I'm a musician myself. So I always look at it in a way of different things. My father always said he's a well-known professor in psychology. And he always said that there's three ends. there's the most important decisions your life. Your master, your mate, so basically you marry, who's with you, and your mission. And what's interesting with Mr. Nobody, it kind of shows those different things,

like his life going in very different directions with any of the different choices. So in his case, obviously a different person who's involved in his life, completely changed the road. And I must say, if you ask me 10 years ago, would I imagine myself being here, I would be pleasantly surprised by saying no. and I say that on purpose because, firstly, I'm Afrikaans, I work with Katenet, Mnet, these, and those were my people, my culture, my language, my story. So 10 years ago, I would have never imagined.

I would find myself, firstly, in America, in this space, doing stories as I'm doing now. And it's not that I wasn't thinking or dreaming for the sky. It's more of, I think if you follow the road, your, let's call it, your why, when you're so busy, almost obsessed about what you need to do and doing it, as good as you can, like you actually don't honestly know too far ahead. You always look ahead. You always make plans. I've got films, big films, things that I'm like, oh, great, this will be so amazing to do. But when you're just pursuing what you need to do, it really opens the next door, which opens the next door. So if you asked me 10 years ago, would have I imagined being here?

No, but I can definitely say the things that I imagined and wished for and even prayed for. Like, I'm so blessed to say that those things are like having three kids that is such a special part of my life, my adventure when we travel, even seeing them now getting involved in musical theater. And then obviously with work, you look back at your work, at the awards, at the stories you do, and you're like, wow, this is kind of cool. This is exciting to be here. And then you look ahead and you're like, wow. And it's that thing of not getting obsessed only about, like, the outcomes. Like now where I'm at, it doesn't mean as much to me as when I was 18 years old. And that's an exciting space when it's really not just about that trophy on the wall, but more about the work

you do. So, yeah, I think it's always a work in progress. There's more I can learn, more I can do. So, but I definitely wouldn't have imagined I would be sitting here in America right now in the setting, busy creating the stories I'm creating. Well, that's amazing. I love when the things that you imagine kind of when you look back and you're like, well, these things happened in my life, but probably in the way that I least expected it in the best way possible. Like the universe always knows what's best for you. But I'm curious. I have to ask this question. So you came from South Africa. You're in the U.S. now. The sense of achievement I know is quite a big thing in South Africa as a culture. And I think in America too, but do you see differences between the two?

To South Africa and America, I think I'm still a judge on various things. So I'll put it in this way. I've this year been involved with the last year, actually been involved in the Saftas. I've been involved in Oscar judging. So when you look at it. people are like their work are rated to some of the best in the world in the film industry. It's amazing to kind of look and I'll start from that perspective because that's obviously the field I work in. I must

honestly say I'm so proud to see the level of South African stories coming out. When I look what's coming out on Netflix and I look at the international stories being taught it's really incredible to see how the craft that people has been doing facilitating international films working on black sales and all of us

has been there. A lot of South African filmmakers has been working blood, sweat and tears on commercials, on films and just getting our craft. But it is so amazing to see South African stories as South African stories starting to hold their ground. So looking in American, seeing on Netflix here is a South African story. And it is not just good. It's oftentimes better because we had to learn how to tell stories really well with very small budgets when we were not facilitating the internationals. And I think people has been able to stretch their dollars or their brands very far. And it's really amazing to see that. So if you ask regarding accomplishment,

how different it is in South Africa and America, I think it's the same sense. I think it is just a very different world. Like I must say South Africa has its few little niches, its few little circles of in TV, whether it is your commercial filmmaker, you work in doing adverts for TV, or is you're doing TV productions with MNET. That's a little circle. America has, you really can get lost. You can go and say, well, I want to go completely into, not just, for example, faith, I want to go into Christmas movies for Hallmark,

and that's you. So you have to really cleverly think, like what is it you want to do and kind of follow that path. And in each group, you could be, for example, in the US a really big sci-fi filmmaker, and then in another group,

people don't even know about you. So I think, and there's amazing filmmakers, like Anel Alexander, who I've worked with on films like Moira, who came over to the U.S., they had a great journey, amazing story, and eventually went back to South Africa. And she just felt that's her community. That's a sense of why, where she accomplished.

She has a really incredible story about her and her late husband. And I'm always inspired seeing, like, understanding her, what she's doing in art. So I think it's the same, but just very, very, very different circles. And when you reroute, when you move over, you find yourself, at a loss of community, definitely. Like, it's a completely different world. It's not your friends that you've done 20 years of work with. You're remaking friends and connections.

So I think you have to redefine what is accomplishment and even why you are there. Yeah, yeah. I think it's really, I mean, it's not easy when you travel from one space and familiarity to another, which is unknown uncertainty, but then gives you the space to grow as a person that you didn't expect to be.

and which is beautiful. And talking about stories, I know you also have some amazing stories that are showing in South Africa and some that are on the way. There's Spelonk, which is also a way that's translated in a different way. Remind me again. Pilank is good. It's the right word in a lot of different languages.

Kind of like when you go in your cave diving, I don't know if that's the right term. But I came up, I really love the feeling of Afrikaans and also how little Americans can pronounce it. So originally when I spoke to my sales agent here in the US, they had the concept of like day zero and it had a very mad max feel because it is a post-apocalyptic crazy story. And it just felt like it's so unique like when we started this whole story, the journey of it. And eventually we stuck to it and it's amazing to see it kind of going to the comic cons to the different festivals to the different TV stations as a small South African indie film. So it's a, yeah, that's one of the projects that we finished.

It was really a work of, I don't know, say passion, but it's while I was facilitating, while I was working with the guys to do movies like Shark Nado, facilitating some crazy sci-fi stories, we decided to do something that we felt is our own. And yes, we started making Spilong, and it went from a short film, concept script at the Silver Skadam Festival to something that we decided to make into a fully-fledged film and eventually a book. That's amazing. I love that. I mean, as a South African and Afrikaans person. It makes my heart really happy to hear that these things are being born into the world. And sometimes it's the side projects, I think. You know, the moments that you just follow your joy in that sense. What's funny about that, just you mentioned, with

language, is we shot it in two different languages. So I wanted to experiment. So we shot it in complete English. So the actors had to be duolingal and obviously in South Africa, Afrikaans. And then what we did, we took an American-based post-production team. They edited the Afrikaans one, just so it doesn't feel like a South African typical film. And then I took one of the best South African editors, and I had him edit the, so vice versa. So the English one was done by Afrikaans team. The Afrikaans one was done by an American team. So it was really, and so we have two completely separate films.

It's edited different, soundtrack is different. So it was kind of interesting to see, and even working with actors to kind of see how different are your personality when you express in Afrikaans versus English, which I was really fascinated by how different it is. That's so true. That's so true. I mean, I even just think of when I speak Afrikaans where my tone is at and when I speak English and when I speak French and like, you know, just the difference in language and how

you pronounce it and how you are. I mean, that's fascinating. And rhythms. It's like exactly like you said, if I switch over, for example, to Russian and I speak to and I say, I'm sorry, my name Desmond,

how you your personality change of your prod big africans and there's little nuances little ways of

how you speak and obviously in films they exploit it and make it like very stereotypical with their

bad accents and showing but there is really like a rhythm to language that is very beautiful yeah I love that too

I mean I'm such a fan of first of all poetry and that language and how that translates into other art as well

So I love that you did that and really excited to see where that goes. And on that, I just want to take a quick moment to also say thank you to platforms that give us the voice, to speak the languages we're doing now and the stories. And just a very quick partner spotlight on RSS.com, who are our distribution platform. Thank you for making this possible, for giving us free reigns and distributing all the podcasts we want to. And if you are interested, they've given our audience a discount. So thank you so much. And feel free to DM us on the socials if you want to know more about that.

And also to bomb companies. So Blender Bombs is a very nutritious snack that is mostly in the US, but you can find it elsewhere too. And it's something I discovered on my travels. And they've given our audience a generous 20% discount when you order with the code, the feels. But you can also ask us a little bit more about that on the socials. And then I just wanted to do a really quick little shout-out to people, places and spaces. It's a person or a place that we found that we feel have the feels.

And this week shout-out goes to a company, or rather let's call it, a connection space called Time Left. It's something that I know started here in France and they're just growing significantly. And it's about having dinner with strangers. So you sign up and you meet different people for dinner in a really cool restaurant in Paris, for example, and yeah, they've just, I think the need for experiences is so huge in connection and so really, really cool what you guys are doing and building authentic connection between people. So a big shout out to them.

Our gems of the week, so this is something that's happened in your week, Desmond, that you feel has given you feels, whether that's like, Sam. or happy or something you've learned so I'll start and mine were really that on the topic of achieving I think I really needed to kind of change perspective on seeing things from our efficiency-based motivation to being more in my flow and just having fun you know sometimes you're so busy with things that we really forget that what we're supposed to be doing is fun so it was a good one to start the year off with and something I really needed to look at as I set goals for 2026

so yeah what was yours I think surprising my daughter for a 12th birthday by she was going to say goodbye to my wife I was already filming in Ireland so we kept it completely a secret she came to the airport she got a little gift bag

because she was turning 12 that week and then she opens the bag and inside there there's a ticket that says she's going to Ireland and just seeing her face as we took her to this incredible spaces and going to the place where it had Book of Cal's, walking around the monastery. It's one thing for me when I travel and I film to see these stories myself,

but it's so incredible when you share it. So having my wife, having my daughter, Caitlin, who loves art and theatre, and showing her this world, this history, like, that was incredible. I can just say, like, walking around the mysterious and literally mystical, as you see the mist driving over the monasteries, sleeping in a castle, so we stayed over at one of, like, a well-known castle in Ireland, and just, it is incredible sharing it. So as you mentioned, this concept of community,

it just resonated with me, this interaction between people being so important. Yeah, I love that. Oh, she must have been so excited. I love surprises. And I think as a child, I mean, we're always children forever and ever, but especially then when you're younger, that sense of wonders is even more there.

So that's really great. I did have one more question for you. And that is, what is in your stack? So that's our reading list. and we have people come on as guests and recommend books to the audience. Maybe it's something you want to read or you have read and you would like to talk about. But I also want you to talk about your book. Yeah, I think there's, like I always say in Afrikaans, those in any pun, in any can.

So you have like one in the making and one that's kind of like done. So it's with us, it's always exciting because it's with where there's film projects, I'm currently busy with a series called 24 or Vera's. busy working on an incredible sci-fi story that she's writing that I'm involved with. We have a few books that's out. The one is the William Austen. It's a crime novel about a real-life story, which was a really fascinating, just story to get into, almost like a Bonnie and Clyde said in a South African.

An incredible story of a person's real life. We have a new one that's coming out called End of a Rainbow. Also a crime novel, I kind of enjoy that a road movie that takes people on a really, really interesting without giving anything about it because it'll be out early, early 2026. So yeah, there's a few stories in the works regarding what I'm reading myself. I've moved away from reading too much life principle things because this, I feel, is the overload of information. Like there's so much things about how to do the principles, the this, the that.

And as much as I love knowledge, I've tried to break it down. So I've started reading stories again. So whether I'm reading with my kids, Lord of the Rings or the Horse and His Boy, I'm reading a lot of the classicals because I feel a lot of these stories are incredible. Right now I'm reading a very good book. It was one of the most band stories back in the day in the old Soviet Union called Master and Margarita. So for anyone who wants to read a story that if you've not read it, like honestly I want to say to you, get your hands on this book, it is there's a new film out about it, but it's just a story that's so intriguing and masterfully

told. So yeah, that's something. I've just started jumping back into stories because I feel before I go to rest or wherever I travel, it takes me out of wherever I'm, if I'm, if I'm I'm sitting in line waiting for my plane. I can go there and I'm completely in a different space. So Marston, Margarita, an incredible story. I love that. I'm definitely going to be adding that to the stack, and I can't wait to read it. I'm with you on that one.

I feel when I'm on the metro here in Paris, like I'm so much into books of just taking me out of my world for a moment, you know, out of my inner reality. So it's great when you can have a good laugh or think deeply into somebody else's story. So we'll be definitely adding that. And I wonder if everyone else who's listening, what are you feeling about this topic? What are you thinking about? How are you going about your day and how you structure things? And what does 2026 hold for everybody?

I hope it's amazing here. I know it is going to be. And thank you so much to you for coming on and being our first guest of this new year and for sharing so openly and honestly about your journey. Thank you so much for having me. If you haven't just yet, follow Friday Feels on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and LinkedIn. You can share with us all your feels this week by tagging us at Fridayfeels.com. And you can also find the website at that handle.

And now, as you ease into this weekend, take a moment. Celebrate who you've become, what you've overcome, and what is yet to come as you do the crazy and cool things that you do as the authentic you. You know, the truth about life and work is that it's hard, but the beauty is this global working experience that you're in while we earn it together. So keep connecting, empowering and inspiring this week. And of course, keep it raw and real.

Until next time.