Your Happy Hour - Sunshine, Love & Happiness

Starting point is 00:00:00 It's the Friday Feels and we're back with your first sip of the weekend. You're now tuned in to this week's episode of your happy hour. I'm your host Nicole Carmine and it's amazing to have you here. Joining me this week as we uncover the truths about being a human and a working professional. What are you up to this Friday? Well, whatever it is, this moment is just for you. we're back with another feels session on the feels podcast it's your happy hour series and we're actually kind of done with season three but we're carrying on because we just love being here and we're

Starting point is 00:00:56 talking about the feels life um this month of july it's really a big topic on our on our community we're talking about the field's life often what does it mean what does it mean to be living your feels life. And it's really about being human and embracing life and all its senses. And a lot of what I've experienced in the last few years has been brought me beautiful people into my life. One of those is Leticia Galvaire, who has an MPO and in Cape Town. I've been very privileged being part of that. And recently, she introduced me to someone who I'm really happy to chat to today on the podcast and who's walked a really interesting journey and I'm excited to share in that. So a huge welcome to the Fields Space, the Fields Podcast and to the last bit of this

Starting point is 00:01:49 Seasons Your Happy Hour series, Randolph. It's really wonderful to have you here. Yeah, thank you so much for hosting me Nicole. And yeah, I'm also very glad that I met, not only you but also Letisa over in Heart Bay and yeah and that I got to see firsthand the beautiful work she does and you do together at the bridge. Thank you yeah and so happy to have you here to talk more about you like your journey which is you've you've done amazing things in your life I don't know if you want to take us

Starting point is 00:02:24 a little bit about on the journey of how you got to be where you are today what you started I know I know of a place in Cape Town that you have and I've been there, I've had drinks. Many years ago now, I must confess, but yeah, just tell us a little bit about what you do in your life. Yes. So, yeah, I'm born and raised in Germany and age 17, I accidentally became an entrepreneur, started building an online community called Gulli, which turned into a big hangout for the hacker and like, you know, nerdy crowd in the German-speaking countries. And doing that for nine years, I then landed in Cape Town. And on the very first night out in town, on Longstreet, I realized, okay, a new stage of my

Starting point is 00:03:18 life has started. And in the next few months, I, well, basically settled in Cape Town during summer, summer. I sold my business in Germany. And I started living. and feeling the life in Cape Town and I think catching up on a lot of things that I missed out in the time before that. And yeah, all of that led to me saying, okay, I need to start a new business because all these tech businesses in Germany didn't feel real anymore. And at that time, my biggest venture was once a year hosting a big party where I got everybody drunk in Cologne, renting the biggest stadium. and for like an event called Om Club that are still actually continuing under new owner these days. And I realized, okay, I want to create this kind of like happy place where people come together, but now doing that 365 days a year and I chose to curate Africa's biggest beer variety

Starting point is 00:04:25 in right on Longstreet where it all began for me. Yeah, and that place was called Bear House. Big yellow building, and that's where Yellow entered my life. And basically, yeah, every day was like a festival of testing and curating the 99 best beers available there. And that was, yes, a beautiful business, but also one that had a bit of a shadow side to it. and that was, well, having to deal with extortion and racketeering protection money demands from people that just came in on the second day of trade and asked for payment without promising any service in return. And, well, I decided not to pay those gangsters.

Starting point is 00:05:21 and for two years that seemed to go well and then sadly in 2015 on the 20th of June in the middle of the busy Friday night they came and they stabbed our doorman Joe and yeah and Joe died within minutes and he left behind behind than a four-year-old daughter, a four-month-old daughter. And well, and their daughter is indirectly that brought us together and why we met and why I met Letitia and the bridge. Because, yeah, not only does their daughter get a really good education at the French school, where Leticia met her, but also Leticia and started hosting, well, or welcomed her to the bridge, and she was child number one of this beautiful family orphanage.

Starting point is 00:06:36 So, yes, it was a huge process and the story of my life to start their house and, well, experience the joys of bringing so many people to. together but also the shadow of all these darker things happening as a consequence of it. And well, that's certainly something that, I mean, it's been 11 years ago that this murder happened, but it certainly changed my life. It made me learn a lot about life, the world, turned me into a nomad because I started speaking up about this organized crime. well it caused a lot of threats a lot of danger danger to me and my family and while i'm returning to cape town these days and i called started calling it home again i also for the last

Starting point is 00:07:36 six years i've been a nomad i'm being homeless in a in a very beautiful way but basically traveling the world because i wasn't able to return home to cape town for such a long time Sure. That's quite a story. And I'm emotional because I've seen so much of the story as well on the other side, having kind of walked a bit of a road with Leticia and her becoming a foster mom and seeing how heart that was for her and how excited she was when she got to be able to host a first child, which was Martha. And being able to give her home, and I've kind of seen her grow up a little bit too, you know, over the years. It's great that there is a space like that, that there has been this beautiful union between her and a little girl who needed a home. And now that's been able to grow into the bridge, and even though it's always a tough journey for her to keep that going. It's amazing how lives kind of intertwine. And I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that. I think that's really hard.

Starting point is 00:08:45 And sometimes I think the decisions we make in our lives and the things that we, pursue from a place of joy and happiness bring us such different journeys that we didn't expect necessarily. Yes, look, nothing in my life seems to be planned and strategized. It's all unusual situations lead to unusual ventures, adventures, businesses, projects, connections. And I think that is what I very much enjoy. So what stood out in my life is that all these strange things happening that you know lead to me becoming quite a character or in recent years also someone who's quite visible not only in this yellow shape and form but also in a media landscape that two years ago in july twenty twenty four i went very public in south africa's carte blanche that

Starting point is 00:09:47 is the Sunday evening, well, real crime documentary format, like the 60 Minutes of South Africa. And they profiled this whole case. They interviewed me. They releasing that documentary actually led to the planned sale of their house to be reversed. and then for Bearhouse to be closed. And ultimately, the closure of my business of 11 years then turned into the, well, nationwide upcry, outcry about extortion.

Starting point is 00:10:33 Because suddenly all of these singular cases that everybody had heard of one little incident, suddenly that became part of a public agenda. and the fight of us against extortion suddenly was front-page material because the closure of Bearhouse, of this iconic yellow venue, because we had had branches in Cape Town in Johannesburg and Pretoria, that suddenly became a national talking point. And then people also finally started talking about how extortion had taken the grip of so many areas of the South African-African. economy, that it's not only that place, it's also the transport companies, it is the small go-go in the townships, like, you know, the lady on the side that has to pay like 25 euro a month to the extortionist, but isn't able to because that is maybe just half of her profit. And it

Starting point is 00:11:36 really changed the conversation. So nowadays, and particularly due to the carte blanche article and the resulting PR. It is now like a public talking point. And I think there is a whole different pressure on government to solve this than it was before. And yeah, it led to so many other things. And obviously people who meet me often only see the yellow and they ask why that. And in hindsight, looking back at the development, I have to say it probably isn't the coincidence that I started wearing yellow less than six weeks after the murder of Joe. So this traumatic event led to me embracing the sunshine, the smiles, the happiness that I find through yellow or that finds its way into my life. Like it made me react very strongly to the

Starting point is 00:12:33 as I suddenly saw being brought towards me. And it leads to so many other ripple effects that I'm incredibly grateful for. So for me, it's not just seeing the negative. I also see that as a very unique path that is being created for me. Yeah, I agree. And I think life, as much as we try, escape it has the yin and the yang, it has the dark and the light. And we have to have both, to feel balance and to appreciate both sides of it. And I love your yellow. I think it's just, I was going to ask you what is kind of like the meaning for you. But color is so powerful. Color is, It's just such an incredible frequency that we often forget to use in our lives to kind of help us live our feels life, you know. And I wanted to ask you what that means for you.

Starting point is 00:13:21 Like if I say your feels life, what does that look like now for you where you're in your season of your life? Well, it really means that color is the most emotional thing that I found in my life and the most stable thing in a life that is incredibly. diverse and unstable in a certain sense because I don't have a place that I really call home. It is the one thing that now for nearly 10 years I'm wearing every single day I wear yellow. Every day I do it, it manages to improve that day a little bit. Even if it's a dark day, I will always have a moment of where I'm saying, oh, but that's a beautiful color. I'm so glad I get to wear it today.

Starting point is 00:14:11 So there's, even when I decide not to go to an ashram in India, because, oh, you know, it was the Osho Ashram, and they would have asked me to wear just a dark purple, maroon color. I was like, no, I'm not ready to let go of yellow yet. Three weeks later, I happened to be, come to an ashram where everybody is wearing yellow. And I'm like, that feels so much more welcome. coming to me and I'm still grateful for having found the Shivananda Ashram and that routine.

Starting point is 00:14:46 It just feels to be my unique path in life to use and embrace the yellow to its maximum and learn everything about the world through yellow goggles. It really enables me to, wherever I arrive, meet people from a different perspective. So I'm not perceived as, oh, another white man coming to whatever, visit as a tourist, but it lets people come towards me with a curiosity and usually a smile on their face. And often we don't get to interact, but I just see them often grumpy looking into the forward and then seeing a guy all dressed yellow and many people just have to smile. And whatever is on my mind at that very moment, I will have to smile back.

Starting point is 00:15:42 So two lives are being positively impacted in that very moment just due to my choice of what I did wear that morning and every other morning. And so Sunshine Smiles and Happiness, or more recently, Sunshine Love and Happiness is what I say as my reason for wearing yellow. Love, not standing for the romantic love that only entered my life very recently, but for the decision to live a life of love over fear. Because so many of our decisions in life, or basically all decisions in life, our decision of love versus fear. I see so many people that always or that often manage to choose fear over love, that choose to stay. in their old job because it's the safety and they fear that the new job might not live up to their expectation and they you know they go they don't do this activity because they could get hurt and don't do this and or they do something even though they don't feel it and really following one's love

Starting point is 00:16:57 and feeling for love I think is is the right way the solution for any kind of conflict, whether you look into the Ukraine, Israel or any other small conflict, the solution is never the one side winning over the other. The solution to every conflict is that both parties find a path towards love and make sure that their kids are growing up in love and not in fear. And currently, a lot of the world is following the populist agenda of division of fear. And I think that's the biggest issue we got. And it takes, I think, quite rose-tinted or yellow-tinted glasses, but I luckily wear them, to realize there is an alternative, there is a growing consciousness amongst a huge amount of people, a silent minority that is slowly coming to terms,

Starting point is 00:17:56 hey, we want to live in love, we don't, we stay away from the fear, we look towards the bright side of life. And that is luckily most of the energy that I'm being confronted with, except when people that know my old story, the story of the crime, the extortion, that I became kind of like a notorious for, for because I fought against that so vividly in the public eye when they come and suddenly I'm standing at a party and people come towards me and they are like, oh yeah, I heard about your story. I watched that and two minutes later they come to me and they're telling me about murder, you know, like what they experienced in their own pocket. And I'm like, I feel you. I know what you talking about, but isn't there also something positive we could be emphasizing at this very moment to not leave this on this downward trajectory? And yeah, and usually that works because very often

Starting point is 00:19:06 I'm going to ask them about their favorite color and hopefully they don't come with a dark color, but a positive emotion and color to talk about. And in that sense, what is your favorite color, Nicole? What is my favorite color? Ah, you know it varies day to day. But recently I've been drawn more and more to green. I feel like I have a lot more green in my cupboard. It's very healing.

Starting point is 00:19:31 Yeah, I love bright orange. I love blue. It really just depends. But I do wear quite a lot of blue as I'm wearing now. I think color has played such a huge role in my life too. In terms of shaping seasons of my life that I needed huge healing, I found myself painting the walls green in my house, you know, or I sometimes have this thing where if I don't feel comfortable in what I'm wearing that day,

Starting point is 00:19:55 I'll just go and change until I feel I'm wearing something that represents how I need to feel and the frequency that I need in this very moment in this day. So I think it's really important in that way to keep reinventing your life. And if you feel yellow every day, then that's amazing, you know. But being able to kind of change your closet, know that you're evolving and that you, you can bring the frequency you need to you is really important. But I really, really appreciate that you can have taken something that was negative. And I always say it's like alchemy, right?

Starting point is 00:20:30 Alchemy is through emotions. You take something that's bad that's happened to you, and you turn it into something positive in your life. And I don't think everyone does that in the most successful way. And so you've done that, and it's really inspiring to hear that, and for other people to be able to see this and know that there's a way, there's a you know we're as humans we we have that ability and it's incredible it's like a superhuman power and we just forget about that so thank you for sharing that and yeah it's really it's really

Starting point is 00:20:59 touching that you've gone through this journey and i yeah i feel like every time i see yellow now i'm just going to be able to think of you and i would suggest well think every time you see yellow think of a way to make your own day or someone else's day a little brighter. Because that is what I think we can really do. And seeing, there's a lot of interpretations of yellow. Also some that aren't super happy. Some people say jealousy or whatever else there is. But majority of people see it in a very, well, as the happy color it actually is. And And well, and if the color alone doesn't make you smile, then think of something else that, you know, creates, brings more happiness to you, yourself, to others in that moment, that day, in that life. And that to me is what I kind of like take from this, because when I go now back two years to this situation of I spoke up in public, I now, well, did.

Starting point is 00:22:12 mention the name of the murder of Joe in public for the first time. And suddenly I was faced with conflict again. That exactly that man, Mark Lifman is his name. He did not like being named in that context of being accused of the murder of Joe. And he started suing me. And so not only did we close the business, but also he sued me personally, like for damages. And it became quite a public fight because whenever he sent a cease and desist letter to me, I immediately forwarded that to a group of journalists and it ended up on the front page of, you know, Cy Africa's biggest newspapers. And every time that happened, he doubled the amount for damages he was asking for. And then finally we had our day in court and he had just managed to

Starting point is 00:23:11 like basically take my house as in I wasn't the legal owner anymore and just to be able to pay the damages due to me not being present in the country and suddenly I was like okay this is really this is unprecedented and due to some crazy coincidence it happened to be that this man Mark Lithman

Starting point is 00:23:40 got assassinated four days before the court day and the whole case dissolved because a murdered man's integrity is not worth a cent. So I never got the justice I originally looked for, but he got assassinated and I suddenly felt the freedom that I hadn't had for 11 years prior to that. After that happened and during a huge ayahuasca journey, but I went on a month later, later, I realized that by fighting crime, I had just basically tried to, well, afford a symptom, but never the cause. The cause of all of this crime is very multidimensional, but we can summarize it in the absence of happiness.

Starting point is 00:24:31 Because happy people, even when they live under very poor conditions, don't commit crimes. really only happens like when like in the South African context there is the need to belong to something like a gang because all the traditional means of family society have failed essentially it isn't it isn't even primarily poverty it really is the absence of happiness and belonging why people commit atrocious crimes and realizing that made me well learn so much about the means we have as in the world to create belonging and focus on this. So since then, my focus isn't anymore on fighting crime, but it really is about learning

Starting point is 00:25:22 how to reach collective happiness. And since then, I learned about Bhutan and their concept of a gross national happiness, which is so fundamentally something that I think the whole world should aim for. not chasing GDP and money essentially anymore, but acknowledging that even the most successful, you know, financiers, billionaires, they aren't really happier than the average population. They are still chasing for more happiness, and they just look for it in the wrong corners.

Starting point is 00:26:02 And realizing that if we were to learn more about happiness and not about chasing money, there is so much we can do. And I think that is where little projects like the bridge, but also so many other outreach projects, projects that try to give home or belonging to people that don't have the traditional, happy, like family environment to grow up in

Starting point is 00:26:33 are so incredibly powerful that they can really change. the world to these people to the kids and starting with the kids obviously is the best thing because healing you know at late age when you're in your 60s no that is just a band-aid but small kids really can thrive in the right environment I agree you know as I've watched Letitia with the kids and sometimes when I do get to go back to South Africa and be with them the joy the happiness the laughing that happens in that home is just incredible. And I always kind of walk away going, what she's created is so special. And I don't think I even fully understood it when she kind of told me about her dream the first time I met her,

Starting point is 00:27:17 you know. And so I believe that too. I think that my motto is always follow your joy in life. And I kind of got to that point as well when I started asking myself, what is value really? Like, if I had no money in my bank account, what is my purpose and value in life, you know? And we all have that beautiful thing that we can give each other, which is presence and love and, you know, unconditional acceptance. And a lot of these kids don't know what that looks like. So it's wonderful that she can, that she can have the space to do that. And it's really wonderful that you are now also supporting this in so many big ways. So I wanted to chat a little bit about what's next on your agenda and your chapter. Like you've had lots of chapters. So what can we celebrate with you

Starting point is 00:28:02 as the fields. Well, yes. So I think the one celebration is exactly what will be happening at the bridge, hopefully in September, which is the celebration of the fundraising crowdfunding campaign that we have initiated just a few days ago. And that is to, well, acknowledging the work and also the money that the Tisha really put into this project and realizing that it wasn't sustainable how she did it in the past, just using her own salary and resources. And starting to step in as the community,

Starting point is 00:28:47 because she really is building community around it beyond the kids themselves. And for the community to step up and starting to help her, support her, fund her. And and the incredible work she really is doing. And the beauty is this, to celebrate the fundraising, we are going to have a concert of Aureale Hayes right in the bridge. And I've been there for previous concert and it's such a great experience to be in this room and feel, yeah, you could say the love is being created there. And so that is something that,

Starting point is 00:29:31 I'm hoping that a lot of maybe also listeners of this podcast will be happy to support and maybe even see us there, meet us there, meet Letitia, meet the kids and see the beautiful work. And well, my personal project now is, so three years ago I realized that the thing that made me different all my life that explains all of these unusual choices in life has a name and that is called ADHD. So that is such a difference in thinking that it now allowed me to re-look at my life and make sense out of everything, out of every path chosen. But also it made me realize that my own sense of community is deeply

Starting point is 00:30:28 linked to being with people that share this neurodivergent way of thinking. And so I started building communities for ADHD entrepreneurs and leaders to find intimate circles of belonging where they get to sit together and exchange experiences and best practices because our brains are wired so differently from the majority of people. that it is so much more easier to learn how to also get around the challenges that we might face, living in a world that isn't built for us and our kind of wiring. So that is now my new project and my new community, where again, my life has always centered around building platforms for people to connect on,

Starting point is 00:31:25 and that is now the next kind of platform that I'm being. building. It's amazing. I just know it's going to be successful and I wish it like all the happiness and light, you know, that I can send you. And yeah, I think it's really, really important in the world to acknowledge that we are all so different and unique. And just because certain systems are built in a certain way, it doesn't work for everybody, you know, I think the education system is, you can see it kind of changing. I think a lot of the world is changing in beautiful ways through community, through collective gathering and sharing. and it's really wonderful that you're pioneering that.

Starting point is 00:32:01 So I'm really excited. Keep us posted on what's happening in that field and we'll keep sharing that. And I had just one or two more questions for you and they're quite short, but the one is just a quick sharing of our James. We always do the segment, which is like a moment in the last week that you felt maybe gratitude or you had some learning of sorts. And for me it was, we've had a canicule, which is in, French, it means heat wave in Paris. And it was really quite interesting to experience, to be

Starting point is 00:32:33 honest. I mean, coming from South Africa, I'm used to the heat, but not in this way. And you really get to appreciate who you are when you are too hot and you are direct as a human. And it's actually great because you get to know yourself. And so I've actually had so many wonderful moments of laughing at myself through all of this. And yeah, I really actually appreciated something that was quite tough being a wonderful self-experience. So I've had gratitude for the heat despite it being a little bit uncomfortable. So yeah, what was yours? So the biggest appreciation in current well in the last three months is probably well having found love and you know really experiencing how to how to learn new states of emotion when

Starting point is 00:33:25 and seemingly the real right person suddenly enters your life. And yeah, the weight is worth it. Oh, it's good to hear for the rest of us. I'm really happy to hear that. That's amazing. Thank you for sharing that. And yeah, we're so impatient for things like that. But they always come in the right time when they need to in our lives.

Starting point is 00:33:47 So a big shout out also to a big appreciation to our partners. I just want to spotlight them quickly. RSS.com. help us distribute this podcast into the world. Thank you to them. To be in E-Sim, the best network ever sim. It's a great travel sim, but also if you're living wherever in the world, it's really reasonably an affordable data and easy to use. And both those companies have given our audience a generous discount, and you can DM us on the socials to learn more a little bit more about that. But then I also wanted to do a quick shout-out to what we call the PPS, which is the people, places,

Starting point is 00:34:20 and spaces. And I've had a wonderful experience of a place here in Paris recently. And it's also a bit more of a space. And it's called Hoey Hotel. I hope to chat to the founder. She's wonderful in Season 4. And she has created such a wholesome space here in Paris of a very high-vibed living, let's say that.

Starting point is 00:34:47 Hotel, yoga, beautiful restaurant with Veeq. food and flowers and all of that. So I definitely keen to shout out more of that in the future, but a big shout out to her for being in a wonderful entrepreneur and just a lovely human. And we love your feels, guys. So that's our shout out. And then a last, last question to you is, what is in your stack? So that is the reading list and all the books that get recommended on the podcast are on our website for people to visit and buy and read. So do you have have a book that's maybe kind of been lingering or one that you read that you'd like to recommend? Well, I mean, what I've read, what really changed my life is if anyone has a gut feel, they might

Starting point is 00:35:34 have ADHD. It's the hunter in a farmer's world. And beautifully, I first read that book, and then the next book was Harare's Sapiens. And particularly in that order, everything makes sense. So that was really mind-blowing for me in my sense of understanding the world. The first book is So a Hunter in a Farmer's World by Tom Hartman. And well, in my stack, but I haven't started it yet

Starting point is 00:36:09 and I'm waiting for my new Kindle to arrive because the last one was stolen at Africa Burn is finally to read The Alchemist. I usually don't read fiction book. but supposedly that is one I should be doing a reading. And well, I mean, I think it's one of the best-selling books of recent literature. So maybe it's time. Fantastic. It's been recommended a few times, so I highly recommend it to you as well then.

Starting point is 00:36:37 And it's great that it's entering your stack. And I'd love to read those others. I've yet to read Sapiens and a lot of people have said it's amazing. So definitely be adding that to my now long, very growing list of books. that people have recommended. So thank you for that. And for everyone listening, I wonder what you're feeling about how you building it feels life, what color are you wearing, are you shaping your world by, and how are you kind of growing your collective joy in the world? We'd love to hear from you, let us know on the socials. And just a huge thank you to you, Randall, for coming on today,

Starting point is 00:37:14 for sharing your heart so openly. And just wonderful to see how the journey has been played out for you know in your life and to share in that yeah thank you so much for well hosting me and letting us talk about well the beautiful work at the bridge and go and donate whatever you can and please please recurring donations would be the way rather only make it 10 euros a month but recurring because that is really what we need enduring supporters that become part of a community yeah Absolutely. We'll put everything in the very easily accessible, so just click on the links and go for it. And thank you so much again, wishing everyone just happy Fields in this Friday. Thank you. And bye-bye.

Starting point is 00:38:04 If you haven't just yet, follow Friday Fields on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and LinkedIn. You can share with us all your fields this week by tagging us at Fridayfills.com. And you can also find the website at that handle. And now, as you ease into this weekend, take a moment. Celebrate who you've become, what you've overcome, and what is yet to come as you do, the crazy and cool things that you do as the authentic you. You know, the truth about life and work is that it's hard. But the beauty is this global working experience that you're in while we earn it together.

Starting point is 00:38:48 So keep connecting. empowering and inspiring this week. And of course, keep it raw and real. Until next time.

Your Happy Hour - Sunshine, Love & Happiness

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