Your Happy Hour - What you see is who we are

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

Welcome back to Your Happy Hour with Friday Feels!In this episode, we chat to Aaram (Fabien Malgrand), who shares his transformative journey of self-discovery into the world of healing. Aaram explained how understanding the forces of life and the concept of the 'mirror' shaped his belief system and allowed him to heal and accept that it is truly within our power to effect real change - by accepting responsibility and ultimately finding the balance within ourselves and among all beings.What is your reflection showing you? What does balance in your world look like?Friday Feels is all about having those honest conversations, the power of community for personal growth and taking those actionable steps towards being our authentic selves.Thanks for tuning in! Keep it raw and real out there xYHH is produced by swartkat.co - captured via riverside.fm & shared via rss.com.

It's the Friday feels and we're back with your first sip of the weekend. You're now tuned in to this week's episode of Your Happy Hour. I'm your host Nicole Carmine and it's amazing to have you here joining me this week as we uncover the truths about being a human and a working professional. What are you up to this Friday? Well whatever it is, this moment is just for you. And we're back with yet another episode of Your Happy Hour. Welcome to the Friday Field Space.

And this is week four of talking about a theme called In the Mirrors of the World. This is our last week of talking about this theme. It is also our last week of kind of formal themes for this season, season two, which has been running since December last year. I can't believe it's coming to an end. But we do have a few special episodes coming on after this so stay tuned. We'll revisit a few fun themes and topics from the season and we've got some special speakers joining us for that.

But today I feel very privileged to be able to speak to a gentleman who I connected with during my travels and we've yet to connect in person but I can't wait to do that. Yeah, to speak about this topic and a really, really big welcome to you, Fabien Malchrom, but I also know that you now go by Aram and I'm saying it in French but you can correct me if I'm saying it wrong. Yes, all good. Thank you very much and I'm so happy to be here and to talk with you. Yeah, it's very nice to think about me. It's such a pleasure and thank you for joining us today. So I'm so happy to be here and to talk with you. Yeah, it's very nice to think about me.

That's such a pleasure. And thank you for joining us today. You know, you're really an interesting person to talk to about this topic. You have walked quite a journey in your travels. I know 25 plus years of traveling and research and you now do a lot of amazing work out there in the world helping people heal, get in touch with themselves, You now do a lot of amazing work out there in the world,

helping people heal, get in touch with themselves, inspire. And I know you can tell us a lot more about this in better detail. So maybe you just want to give everyone a little bit of a, a quick journey into your world and also just what the topic means to you today. journey into your world and also just what the topic means to you today. Okay so well my journey maybe yeah I will explain how I went to this topic and especially the topic of the mirror because it came from health. My journey is all about health because when I was a kid I was supposed to be sick all my life, to have symptoms and medications

of all my life. It was very complicated. I thought, okay, if the doctors tell me that it's not possible to heal, maybe because they don't know how, so I'm going to find how. And I was very young when I thought about that. I was 13, 14, 15. I started to work on hypnosis. I was recording some meditation for myself. And I started with sophology, LP, coaching, et cetera, and, 25, Chinese medicine, Taoism, a lot of traditional medicines.

And then I started to travel and to find some healers in the world to find a way to heal. Because I was feeling better and better with all the studies I was making and exercises and breath work and meditation and changing my food and whatever, changing everything, trying everything and I was feeling better and better but I was not really healing so I searched and searched and tried so much different things. Until I started to heal for real, maybe 15 years after. But during these 15 years I really had an amazing view. When I say amazing, it's so different than when I was before. The point of view of how life is working, how all these different

methods were crossing and how it was making another reality for me very, very different. Then I started, people started to ask me to teach and I started to teach. And if I have a special attraction when you told me about the subjects we could talk, I told you the mirror, it's nice because it's very related to health actually. It's how I understand health made me understand how mirrors are working in a special way. So I don't know if we go deep now in the subject. So when you say, what does it mean for me? Maybe just an introduction is, okay, I create my reality. So if I create my reality, the mirror, it's the mirror of, of course, my choices, for example. So my, for example, if I'm talking to you right now,

it's because I made a series of choices that brought me here, that made me accept to be here. For example, the first I told you, like I was sick and then I wanted to heal. It's maybe the first choice I made in order to be here to talk about that with you. So it's a lot of choices like starting to heal and writing a book and maybe going on social media or whatever and starting and be here in the point of where we can talk about this subject.

So if I'm here now, it's the result of all this series of choices that I made until now. It's... So, of course, it's a mirror of myself because how I made my choices, because of my fears, of my desires, of my beliefs, et cetera, et cetera. So we can talk about that after, but for the introduction, it's nice to remember that of course, everything I live, it's coming from my choices. That makes sense. And I think we do forget that.

It's something I thought about when I first chose this topic. It really was because I started realizing that everything that was happening to me in my world was because of what I was deciding inside. And it was reflecting back to me. And sometimes that's hard for us to accept. Yeah, so you've really walked this journey.

Obviously, 10 years ago, you didn't think you would be where you are today. Now you are kind, now you are kind of delving into the mirror. So yeah, what does that look like for you? What do you see kind of reflected back for yourself? For myself, I think my life changed when I really, really decided that like everybody, like when you can read so many things about spirituality, etc. I am like the creator. I am 100% responsible of my life because I am the creator of my life. So I chose, it was my choice of healing, right?

I didn't say, oh, the doctors are right, I will not heal. So I said, no, I'm responsible of my reality. I'm creating somehow, so I have to know how. And then when I started to think really, because it took so much time to think I'm really responsible of 100% of my reality. It took me so much time because of course so many thoughts can come to say no, it's

not possible and why he talks like that to me? Why is, I don't know, insult me or whatever, not happy with what I did. Why it's him, it's his fault, right? So it took a very long time to understand, no, I'm really creating everything. And when I started that, now the mirror, so because you said, how is the mirror for yourself now, how you live it, and actually it's,

now it's so playful. When you understand that everything you live, it's your creation, now it's so playful. When you understand that everything you live is your creation, now it's so playful. Now it's so much happiness because everything that happens, even if it brings you emotion like sadness or anger or whatever, each time you're like, okay, but I created that. How the fuck I did it fuck, I did it.

You know, like how I did it, how I am here. And it's exactly the purpose of healing. It's how I made this symptom. How I made this symptom in my physical body. So how I made these symptoms in my relationships, in my work, in my emotions, in my mental, whatever, how I did this? It's for me now the most funny, playful question ever,

because everything I create, I know that I created it. So, I mean, everything I live, I know that I created it. So now it's like, leaving the mirror, it's always playful. Of course, nothing is perfect in my life. It's way better than 20 years ago. Everything, my life, my energy, my sleep, everything, my health and whatever. But of course, not everything is perfect

because we can't, because we are in the world of duality but every time it's fun to explore how I create that and it's like the purpose of life is to feel and understand the rule of life, the rules. So ah I'm living that so how I create it because I'm leaving that so how I created because I'm the creator because everybody said that since you know Centuries and more like we are the creator. So if we are the creator how I created that that's a funny game So for me, it's how I live now the mirror Nothing is perfect. But everything is playful. I Love play it's that I think it's amazing to do that because we became become so serious as humans and I think that's where it becomes really hard to

change is when we take it so intensely and then we really feel like we need to be able to shift the blame or not take responsibility and we always try and I think understand things so much that we always stuck in the past but playing is really in the present and it's kind of builds the future. So I know that you also work with a specific method and I haven't had the privilege of being part of that and I hope I can in the future but how do you do that? How do you kind of help other people play, see the mirror, heal? So my method is based on the forces of life so I name it like that

because basically it's the five elements of Chinese medicine but the five elements is an error of tradition, it's false to say that. The direct translation is the five phases, the five movements, but not the five elements. So we misunderstood that because we confirmed that with the five elements in yoga or in astrology or whatever. So it's not elements. So I name it forces of life to be clear. The wood, the fire,

the earth, the water and the metal. These five, it's more movements of life, how it grows in you and how you use it mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. It's based on Taoism but like I worked on so many psychotherapy and sciences, I

merged everything to understand in a maybe more modern way and a bit different of how it was described by old texts. But whatever, it's a base to understand what I'm talking about. And then, like my research was about finding how to heal and looking for what are my symptoms. What I did is I understood these energies, so these forces of life, and I understood that when it's too much,

when you use it too much, or when you use it not enough, then there is a big principle in Taoism that is called the cosmic balance, exactly the Yin-Yang. So the Yin-Yang is the perfect cosmic balance. Whatever you are doing, if you are too young, there will be Yin to compensate every time. And the symptoms, it's exactly that. When you are too much something, life will bring you the opposite to create the balance.

And if you are not enough something, life will bring you the challenges, etc. in order to work on that and to become more. Until you feel the perfect alignment, the perfect balance, the perfect whatever how you call it after. But this balance is dynamic, right? It's not a static balance. It's because the seasons are moving, your needs are moving, you are growing, everything

is changing always around you. So it's not a balance that we can imagine very peaceful. No, it's not that. It's more like the dragon, how they call it in Taoism. So it's very playful to imagine that the dragon is not in balance. The dragon is the one that is able to use all the forces when it's needed. So it doesn't have fears to use the forces, it doesn't have problems or blocks, it doesn't have also too much desire to use it, is using it when it's needed,

so it can be in the flow of life. So actually, it means that when you have an energy in your life, you have what I name now the anti-energy. The anti-energy is the energy that you call in a way of life is bringing you challenges in order to make the balance and to help you to become the dragon, so to be in movement in the balance. So it's how it's playful now for me because every symptoms like we said before, every symptoms are coming because of the anti-anergy. That means because

I'm too much in a force, I use too much force or I don't use enough the force. Then the yin-yang, the cosmic balance is putting the challenge to make it happen. So every time I see now something, a challenge, something that I don't like, because if I like it, of course I don't want to change it, but if there is something that I don't really like, first I accept, because it's also a very big challenge to accept or challenges, right? It's also maybe the first work to do. Because if we don't accept and try to transform very too fast, it's like struggling.

It's not transformation, it's struggling. If we accept first, okay, I accept, I see the situation, I see the symptoms, so I make a diagnostic, I'm very clear of what happened in my life. So it's all about awareness and consciousness, right? And then I say, okay, so if this happened, it's because it's an anti-energy of something in me. So it means that I'm using too much an energy

or I don't use enough an energy, a force of life. And then it's so easy because like, okay, so I just have to know what are these energies, how I can use it physically, emotionally and mentally. And then do I really use it or maybe too much? Ah yes, it's so clear, I'm using it too much if I really look at my life, if I'm aware, if I'm really just aware, just knowing

what are these forces, do I really use this force? Oh no, I'm not using it, why? Most of the time because I'm afraid, I'm not safe with this force? Oh no, I'm not using it. Why? Most of the time because I'm afraid, I'm not safe with this force. Then I do my work to not be afraid, so I have a method now and I worked on that. How we overcome our traumas and insecurities because it's the very first beginning.

If you are unsafe to use an energy, you will never use it, right? So first we have to overcome our traumas with that. It seems simple, it's not so simple, but because traumas, of course it's long, it's a trial, but when you know how, when it's clear, you can do the work and you can evolve so much, so faster than when you don't know, right?

When you don't know, it's not clear. You don't see your responsibility. You don't think that it's your anti-energy. Well, you are just victim of your life that you created, but you don't know and you don't want to know that you created it. So with this method to sum up it's really being aware of the forces of life that are just a way to read life, to understand everything. Your relationship, your family, your life, your work, your

copywriting, whatever it is, you can understand everything with the forces of life. And then, with that, and your body, of course, you understand the symptoms that you made, how you made it, what you can do inside in order to change your energy, and then life will not have to bring you these challenges anymore because you are in balance.

So if you are in balance, there is no force, opposite force to bring you a challenge. It's not needed anymore. And it's where magic happen, and it's where it's difficult for people to understand. Because we always look for outside answers. We always think that, yeah, but it's my husband, it's my wife that doesn't change,

she's always like that, no, no, no. No, if you do the work, they change. Because they don't have to bring you the challenge anymore They don't feel the need that they are not You know pushed to bring you the challenge To to you because it's because you are balanced so there they will change And it's what is amazing you never try try anymore, is my method, to change anything outside. So I teach for therapists to do that,

and coach and therapists or managers to do that. And then the only purpose is to come back to your responsibility. Being very, very, you know, with tenderness because understanding our responsibility feels like feeling guilty, you know, for a lot of people. So of course, you are not guilty, you are just giving an answer to your wounds, to your traumas. You just need to understand that and when you change that, life is just again. I absolutely love how you've explained that, how simple it really is and I can resonate with a lot of what you said.

I think that we sometimes forget that we are really here to help one another. We come together here I think as souls to really push and pull you know and and we have contracts with each other. We mirrors for one another in so many ways and yeah sometimes it's hard to accept that I think you know we were talking the other day I was mentioning on last month's theme, Contracting with Kindness, how it's hard to sometimes accept that the people who are bringing trauma into your life is really just like they are helper for you to see what you need to do and what you need to address. And I love that you've, the dragon, I've never thought about dragons in that way.

And it's true, they just, they incredibly loving and powerful creatures that just, I hope we get to encounter in this lifetime again. But in a dragon, I think that's wonderful. I'm curious what color your dragon is. Yeah, thank you for taking us on that journey. I think it's so important what you're doing out in the world Thank you for spreading that light and love and the spirit of being human. I think it's you know, we We all like you are helping people remember

What divine power we have that we are creators and you know that we here for a divine power we have, that we are creators and you know that we're here for a reason and we have emotions but we don't have to be consumed by them and be swallowed by them. So thank you for sharing that and so I'm curious just one kind of last question on that before we move on. Obviously you've also gone through really difficult times in your journey. Is there something that you've that someone said to you once or like that you held on to still hold on to that you feel is like your mantra or your your beacon of light? You mean if I have a special trick to that I kept during this journey.

That's what you mean? Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. I really think that it's always related from where you are. So if you keep it, it's because you didn't move. I think you have always something that comes to you at the right moment, you use it and then you moved, you understood it, you kept it, it changed you and then you are another one and then if you are another one you need something else to continue to move on. I really don't feel that there is recipes and little tricks. I really feel this is the problem that comes from the wheel of our analytic mind.

We want, there is a cause, there is a solution, and we always want very precise, detailed recipes or tricks. And it's not working like that. Science is working like that and it's nice. But when you are with yourself, it's not science that you do, right? You are just leaving yourself. It's consciousness. You know, in French, consciousness, we say science. So it's like science, but with con, before that means with science.

With me, with myself and science. So it's different, science and con-science, right? And consciousness. Consciousness, it's me with myself and science is other people studying myself. And when I understood that they were all studying a little part of myself, trying to find a little solution of my allergies, a little solution of my lungs problem, a little solution of my skin problems or whatever,

each time it was a very different part and a little trick for that. And what I try to feel and to understand is how I can handle everything and make it happen altogether and to have the very large point of view. That's why I call my method holy Sintoni. That means holy, the world, everything, every plants, all your reality.

In synteny, synteny means tuned with, in harmony with. And it's exactly, so for me it's exactly the opposite of my philosophy now, to find that maybe there is one trick or one way of... No, it's more related to what you use. If you, for example, if you have too much wood, so the force of life of wood is you are unsafe with the lack of freedom and you are feeling very fast frustrated. So if you have that, the sentence and the trick

will be different than if you are in lack of wood. And so you are not afraid of losing your freedom, but you are afraid of freedom. You want to be safe with protection all over yourself. So the trick that can be physical, emotional, mental, nice sentence or whatever will be exactly the opposite, right? So yeah thank you for sharing that because I think we're all kind of looking for that little trick right but it doesn't exist because we're all different and we're all unique and exactly what what can help though is is things that are stable are things like technology most of the time so on that

I want to very just quickly say thank you to Riverside FM and RSS.com who are our partners in tech crime and make these conversations possible. And yeah, if you are a podcaster or someone who wants to live stream or YouTube or just create your meetings in an efficient way, check out Riverside FM. They have an amazing platform and they're growing all the time with new amazing features. So thank you to them and RSS.com who are our partners that we distribute this podcast out into the world. And then I just want to take a really quick little slide into a segment that we call the

People, Places and Spaces, which is a person, a space or place that we choose every week that has the feels. And so this week's shout out goes to Kyle Gray. He's an amazing spiritual individual too. And I thought it was quite apt this week. He's really touched my heart this week with a course that he did and he deals a lot with angels and spiritual will. But he really spoke about, he has this wonderful newsletter that he sends out,

but he really spoke about owning your responsibility this week. So I wanted to share just a very quick excerpt from what he said. He said, you know, taking responsibility for your part isn't about guilt, it's about alignment. And on that, I'm going to quickly do another little slide into our next segment, which is our gems for the week. Gems are really our little moments to share what we learned or what we feel gratitude for.

And so my gem is really the course I did with Kyle and it was just a webinar but he spoke about this and I really needed to hear that because I think I've I had been carrying around quite a bit of guilt and like you said you know it's about realizing that at some point in your life you created something you lived something but you didn't have to carry that around with you. Life is in the present and it's really an invitation to change and to rise above it. So that was my gym. What was yours for the week? My gym of the week. It's interesting, I was with my level three of my, so the therapists that I'm teaching to.

And so I'm calling them the mentors, the practitioners, master practitioners and mentors. And so I think it's, so I was three days with them and I repeat so much time, the same things that I finished by saying okay so if I repeat always the same thing it's because I need in mirror, right? So we come back to the subject. It's because I need to hear it again and again and again if I repeat again and again and

again it's because, I need it. So, it brought a very nice conversation about that and about actually how I could accept help. Talk about myself, like my own emotions, and it was amazing. So I think my dream of this week was them, my students, you know, what I learned with them. Because when, like I told them, when I will have understand everything, I will stop to teach. Because I will not have any more to hear me saying that.

It will, you know. saying that. So now I'm learning with them, repeating or changing or finding a way to answer to their questions. I'm learning. I'm still learning with that. And for me, it's the best gym ever. So when you go into silence one day, then we know. Thank you so much. That's amazing, Jim. For everyone listening out there I wonder what you're feeling about this topic, about your mirrors of the world, about you know where you are maybe carrying some things from the past that you want to heal and not taking responsibility for yet. The change is really within you and we want to hear all the feels so please let us know, reach out to us on the DMs at fridayfeels.co. We love

receiving your messages. And then I have one last question for you Aram and it's a short one and that is our stack. It is our reading list. So if you have a book that you love reading or you have a book that you still want to read or something you've heard that you can recommend to our audience. What is in your stack? Hmm, wow. There is a lot and each time it's bringing so much different information. Maybe my Bible, you know, that helped me a lot in my journey and I really recommend everybody to read.

And that is very known but you can read it and read it again and read it again. It's the power of the now, of Eckhart Tolle. Because basically it just brings so much energy in how you come back to the now, to the present moment. And like me talking about me, it's so easy to go outside of this present moment that just reminding this book, it's like, I come back. You know, it was very well explained. There is so much other books, but I think it's one that

made me really made a very different step in my life. I need to read that book again. I think I don't know if I've actually read the whole thing so I'm gonna I'm definitely gonna be adding that to my stack. For everyone who wants to go and check out the stack it's on the website. Feel free to go and explore what books have been recommended. Yeah thank you so much one for recommending that and two just for sharing so openly today about who you are, where you come from, what you do. We just absolutely love the feels that you bring to the world. So thank you for that and yeah, thanks for coming on today. Yeah, thank you. It's thank you also for all the listeners, you know, like, they listen, you create it, that everybody is in a system creating a new reality. So it's not

me, it's you, it's the listeners, it's everybody, even Riverside that brings this technology and it's all mirrors because we are just one. Thank you so much for being part of our mirror of this world and we'll definitely definitely be chatting to you soon again and hopefully in season three. With pleasure, thank you so much Nicole. If you haven't just yet follow Friday Feels on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and LinkedIn. You can share with us all your feels this week by tagging us at fridayfeels.co and you can also find the website at that handle. Now as you ease into this weekend, take a moment, celebrate who you've become, what you've overcome and what is yet

to come as you do the crazy and cool things that you do as the authentic you. You know the truth about life and work is that it's hard but the beauty is this global working experience that you're in while we are in it together. So keep connecting, empowering and inspiring this week and of course keep it raw and real. Until next time.