Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 164-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

If you're a big dog how about you play with dogs your size, you stupid, selfish inconsiderate C**T. But if you're a dog you might not know where you are playing because DO DOGS EVEN HAVE BRAINS?!? We investigate. Loud, gay sex sounds and terrifying and hilarious. Since we didn't get you the SF Bonus ep, we give it to you here! Groan more! A big, BURNING Dental Update will have you smiling wide and this time we get TOP DOG and CHARO on ONE call. Can you believe your wiping luck?

No, I'm not full of rage like I was at the dog park today. Okay Your annoyance is high my what your annoyance level is pretty high. Yeah, it's pretty high. Yeah Thank you, is it Matt Matthew Miller Miller who made this song it's called FIFO song for FIFO. It's so cute Oh Love it Guys Are you in the San Diego area? Come see me perform stand-up comedy October 25th or 27th at the Madhouse comedy club

And then I just added November 7th through 9th at the comedy zone in Jacksonville, Florida November 14th through 17th the Hartford funny bone in Hartford, Connecticut And then Tom and I will be doing your mom's house live November 22nd at the ice house comedy club in Pasadena, California So in December 5th in San Diego and December 5th live in San Diego We doing the podcast the American comedy company And uh, how do people get tickets for that one jeans for the ice house? They're both online. I mean uh on the ice house's website not on ours yet

I think I have them online. Oh you do on tomcigura.com. Yeah, and I'll go ahead and put those up on your mom's house Podcasts.com as well. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Um, follow us on twitter at christina p at tomcigura Yeah, um real quick just looking down here. I have the November 22nd tickets up on my site And I have the link for December 5th. Yeah, so that'll be I'll send them both to you. Okay, okay But yeah, you can get them. Um

Here's what I want you to do if you live in LA. Please come see me Friday, november 1st or saturday november 2nd. I'm in the small room. It's the yuhu room at flappers in burbank, california I'm running an hour long set It's the weekend before I do my special in minneapolis. So It's a really fun Intimate room and I would love to see everybody wearing denim all over that room Um, november 9th as I mentioned before I'm taping my hour special in minneapolis

Um, you can get tickets for free for free Go to tomcigura.com Click on my live shows scroll down to november 9 And then use there's a link there you fill out your information And they will contact you some of you already told me that you filled it out and you haven't heard back yet

They will contact you. So just yeah hang tight. It's still far from the day. Yes Yeah, they'll let you know But anyways, it's very exciting. So I'm very happy to be doing it in minne napo last Minne polis Polis of minne That's right city of minnesota polis meaning of the people City the polis. All right. So there is that we are excited, of course to do the live podcast too

Thank you guys very much for your support um Your porpoise support purse your porpoise here is what's up Uh, your mom's house podcast.com you guys blew it up By supporting the new bikes shirt We even got a joe rogan plug when we did his podcast He was like, what is that shirt called bikes joe as we told him

Um, he actually went ahead and ordered one Even though I told him I would give him one. So it's so nice, but yeah, there's that and the You need to wipe down the new top dog shirt. It's in black. They both Um, as we mentioned on previous episodes and this is you would only know if you follow Um or know about You know how shirts are made but they both have a discharge Oh Meaning that that the the actual image

Is part of the shirt meaning it's not like raised and all right Right tactile you can barely feel it when you get it and it's one wash and it's just integrated into the shirt So it's it's it's high quality. The shirts are super soft super and we're very excited to have discharge These shirts for you so you guys know what to do Go to your mom's house podcast.com click on the store. Please Support us as we love you as we are your only mothers Tom was that mature to play that uh sound sound clip Of that sound when you said discharge. I don't think that was very mature. You know what just happened. You said

discharge And i'm obligated to do that That's very childish of you. Yeah, we'll get into some of those sounds in a moment Jeans are you ready to start the show? Fuck. Yeah, I'm ready to start the show. I can do this shit, man. Hey guys serious debate Topical question we have going on. We had a big twitter feud over this I tweeted do dogs have brains because I like seriously wanted to know And there was a huge debate. Uh-huh broglues. It was like the chistador in 2013. It was correct

Right, so basically behind i'll give you a little bit of uh story behind my question So I was like, of course dogs are um Are mammals Right. Yeah, dogs are mammals. They're humans or no, they're not human. They're part of the animal kingdom that god created I love you jesus. Um But then I wonder like, okay Dogs can't talk This shit is big time

Who is rambling? Don't bring anyone loving to this Don't burn when the fuck is that? Well, welcome Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura Christina Welcome to your mom's house

Do you feel that breeze now? Yes, are you less educated? Yes I thought you were gonna overturn the table and you don't remember every time every time I come in here Every time. Yeah, but you're always sweaty and big. No, I'm not. No, I'm not No, I'm not that's my whole point. It actually upsets me that you just said that because that's not true Seriously, I'd say on average you're hotter more than I am. I'm freezing. I'm wearing a sweatshirt No part of this place where I sit down. I'm like, man, I can't believe how hot I am except for right here What do you think that is? I have no idea. I don't know if like this is like the perfect spot

That is the warmest part of this entire place But it happens every time I sit here. I sit here and I'm like, I can't get over how hot I that's true I've seen you sweat before here right here only if I walk in there nothing no sweating. No, it's right here Maybe it's somebody's ghost that that lived in here and they don't like you That's possible. Yeah. Yeah, that's not impossible Do dogs have brains? Where did you even find that? Um, this bitch posted this shit And then some people this really I'm sorry. What?

What? That was a really good description This stupid bitch posted this shit on twitter Oh Yeah, of course there no world heard it Wait, I love that girl. Oh this bitch posted this stupid shit. I mean just listen to this is real man. Yeah, this is real Okay guys serious

debate Topical question we have going on. We had a big twitter feud over this I tweeted do dogs have brains because She's really serious I like seriously wanted to know she looks smart and there was a huge debate Uh-huh broke loose. It was like the crusader war in 2013. It was like the what the crusader war The christiana war crusader. She said the crusader war. That's what she said. Holy fuck. This chick is retarded It was correct right so

Okay guys serious. Okay guys. Okay guys serious debate Topical question we have going on. We had a big twitter feud over this I tweeted do dogs have brains because I like seriously wanted to know And there was a huge debate. Uh-huh broke loose. It was like the crusader war in 2013. It was correct So basically behind I'll give you a little bit of a story behind my question. So I was like, of course dogs are um Are mammals Right. Yeah dogs are mammals. They're humans or no, they're not human. They're part of the animal kingdom that god created

I love you jesus. Um But then I wonder like, okay Dogs can't talk So do they have brains like yes, they walk, but it's because we're telling them to walk Because we're telling them I like how she refers to it as a debate on twitter as though people were going Yeah, man. Dogs totally have brain. No, they don't right. There's a back and forth I don't know if it was so much a debate people are you on either side of that

Or whether she has a brain That's probably the better question. Let me guess what she looks like. Can I guess you haven't seen her? I'm gonna go with super bleach blonde super blonde with really really dark roots big fake tits kind of like jenna marbles Damn Spot on Yeah, really. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. You're welcome Just like if I were to tell my computer To turn off it would turn off like it doesn't mean make a

That's her example of why a dog Geeter has a brain. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, so they don't talk and then so someone's like no they have brains and I was like, okay, but They can't talk so What how how do you explain that like how do you explain having a brain but not being able to talk? That was the first question and two is they're kind of scary like I love all gods creatures and I see You know other human beings and I can just find so much love for them, but I'm so terrified of dogs I'm so beyond scared of dogs that I actually like will you know

Go on a different sidewalk or like go out of my way to avoid dogs because they're scary. And so then I think is this you know Christian intuition saying like I Was gonna say is she like a black guy? Don't they hate dogs too? This is just Christian intuition For the this is not a creature of god I don't know but the main thing is is I think we're all a little confused at and if you guys can shed light I would be really interested to hear what you think if dogs have brains or not

There's no what you think there's no debate and it's scientifically be proven Could it's like yes with one dog you could you could cut his head open and then see his brain What are you talking about the problem in her logic is that she also assumes that inanimate objects have brains? She can't understand the difference between the computer that she tells to do she understands that the computer doesn't have a brain No, no, no, she says the the brain in my computer I can tell it to go on and off But how is that different from the dog because I tell the dog to do stuff I thought she said when I turn it to turn I told my computer to turn off. He goes off. Does that mean it has a brain?

No, okay. I I understood it to mean that the computer. She understands the computer doesn't have a brain That's why the computer doesn't talk. She can tell what to do and it just does it Oh, okay, therefore because of that Obviously the dog doesn't have a brain because I tell what to do it does it doesn't even know to fucking talk I see so the dog has a computer's brain because you tell the dog what to do Yeah, you get it. Well. Yeah, it's a really clear as day I don't know but I think I don't know is the best thing to sum you up really interesting topic I think it's not an interest. It's not

It's not an interesting topic That's not an interesting topic at all. Yeah, this isn't debate on the view right even sherry shepherd. I think understand This is like, you know, does the ocean have water? Right? It's an interesting topic. Let's put it out there people on twitter just like to hate sometimes and they're a little confused but you know, it's It's a series of people I you know Issue it's like a serious question because if they're not

Human or they don't have brains like why are they on this earth? Oh, there's another question. That's a good question That's a legit question. Why are they on this earth? That's something to examine if they're not human and they don't have brains. Why are they on this earth? Is it You know for is there life on another planet? Oh my fuck, you know, I mean these are all Questions you have to consider when asking these things and I don't want to get too philosophical on it being like Oh, where did we all come from? What happens when the world ends? Is it just black? Is it just blank? Like what happens, you know, what I don't know. Yeah dogs are freaky

No, they're not they're super freaky. How did she go and also from aliens to the meaning of life? How did we get here? How was all this tied into whether or not dogs have brains? I mean, she's so fucking retarded Can I can't tell you honestly when I hear a clip like this what it does to me happy makes you happy it It makes me worry for this generation It really does it makes me worry for the future of this country when girls Like this put themselves on the internet with no Sense of hey, this is humiliating. Uh, it's almost as though. Um, you need to see how she's dressed

I don't need I can guess let me guess tank top or their tits out. Yeah. Thank you. Okay Jesus, but I mean, how come people aren't ashamed of being this morbidly stupid. How are you not embarrassed? Uh, because she just she doesn't know that she's stupid When you're that stupid, you don't know that you're stupid But I feel like she needs to be ashamed publicly Yeah, I mean well, she the thing is she shames herself by doing this unless this is an elaborate hoax Could be right. I don't know it could be but There's such a direct correlation sells it. Well, why is there such a direct correlation between

Stupidity and then the willingness to put it out there like the Kardashians for the life of me I don't know how people can watch eight or nine seasons of that piece of shit show the show is about nothing Much like this broad And this society for that show you're right and people, you know what they would watch her every week Yes, and society today values these dumb fucks so much more than ever before It's really really a scary time. I think we're living in How many views is a stupid piece of shit have? Um, I'm not viewing it on youtube, but I can pull that up real quick

I mean, we're we're goofing on her obviously and adding to this whole thing Do dogs have it's fucking unbelievable brains Interesting, let's see Do dogs have brains on youtube? Here we go. This is her thing. Wow It has 1.0 So almost 1.1 million views, right? but remember a time when you were a kid and

The thought of being ridiculed by other people was real and you're like, oh my gosh I hope nobody knows how dumb I am and you always try to hide how dumb you are Or you try to hide You don't want to look slutty growing in my era in my time The worst thing you could be called as a slut and now it's like, oh, I look like a fucking horn. I love it I think she was serious. I think she was serious because yeah, nothing here leads you to believe that She was joking, you know, no, that's that's 100 depressing. Let's see. I'm going to her Now can be used for variety of purposes. You can bake a banana pie banana nut bread

You can slice it and dice it for your little children. You can have it for a healthy variety of purposes Snack bananas, there really are endless possibility and hey, guess what? Did you know that instead of using eggs and cookie you can use banana for a healthier option? Score now today I'm going to choose to just simply eat the banana But these steps work if you were to slice and dice and put it into recipes or I want to fucking murder her. I want to take her head and holy. I want to curb this bitch

This infuriates me. Oh, and you know what the other thing too is she's got baby voice. Yeah, so she's probably molested for sure Jesus That's so fucking embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for my gender. I'm sorry on behalf of all women I'm sorry guys. She's not indicative of all of us. Please. Yeah, the thing that's interesting is that all her other videos kind of average around you can tell that like you know the average around

70 80 90 thousand Views and then that one exploded because I think she was serious and people were like this bitch is fucking Unreal, huh? Yeah, there's sincerity in that voice. I'm trying to think if I grow growing up if there is anybody that dumb It is kind of like the sherry shepherd thing, right? Yeah, I think it's um, I think it's a real anti-intellectualism. It's a real It's a real um hatred of book learning like a real disdain for being intelligent

I don't understand where that comes from like book this. I don't want to be smart Yeah, like she's aggressively chasing being dumb. Yeah. Yeah, this one is for those of you who've never heard it. It's pretty awesome um So you don't believe that Evolution happened. Are you saying that so you don't believe it's possible that god and I'm gonna make it in the way that I speak So it's fun that god sneezed and went I got a great idea and created a universe which then Took its its movement because I believe from dinosaurs for birds for all of them all of those things I believe that god has given us

A couple of markers to work from I believe that and so I have to believe that all of the knowledge that he's put Into us to learn he said listen take it and run with it. This is so just to be clear. This is obviously whoopee golberg Questioning her one of her many co-hosts on the view. This is sherry shepherd who's still on the show. I think I don't know I know whoopee sounds just as crazy as sherry right now, right? Well, she's trying to She's talking down But in a friendly way like so do you not believe all this why I created you I i'm not sure that I can actually believe in both so you could you you can't have one without the other I don't think I don't think you can have science and let me just point out yes, darling four members of the republican party

Who are running for president also do not believe in evolution So if there was a gasp in the audience and it should be a bigger gasp Is the world flat Is the world flat? Yes, I don't know Oh boy, that's what i'm talking about She actually yeah, that's what I mean. She's a grown woman here Look, if you don't want to if you choose not to believe evolution because of your religious Whatever look, I don't agree with that, but I kind of go okay

You know what if you don't want to take that because of your religion your fundamentalist christian I'll even excuse that but to say that the world. I don't know if the world is flat like there's empirical data There's severe impure and as with evolution there's empirical data Well, yeah, I mean you're stupid if you don't believe in evolution. Yeah, you're dumb. Yeah, you're or you're just in such crazy denial You know Is the world flat Is the world flat? Yes, I don't know What do you think? I I never thought about it whoopee. Is the world flat? I never thought about it

You never thought about whether the world was right But I'll tell you what I've thought about how i'm going to feed my child I'm going to take care of my family the world is the world flat has never entered into That has not been an important thing to you'll take your son Jeffrey. My son Jeffrey asked me is the world flat I guess I will go She's really doesn't know well and also My biggest problem of people that say well, I'm too busy feeding my kids. I'm too busy Living life to be curious about the world. Fuck you bullshit so many people have gone through awful hardships and still have time

To question their reality you have time to think about whether or not the world is round You dumb bitch. Yeah, you don't need to think about it real quick and easy. It's a quick decision It's like in fourth grade or fifth. I don't remember which grade but yeah, you learn that easy You see pictures from space. Yes. The thing is if you didn't learn it in book learning, right? You can learn it by looking at a picture. Yeah Oh, look how round all that stuff is All of them. They're also I mean look a lot of these people that have written Fantastic books that have taught us things have have had severe hardships a lot of people

Of course with severe hardship have gone on to do wonderful things of course in the world If science tells us that the world is round What's where where would you negate that science? Well, let me get the let me get it out first That science may say okay Here's what We think has happened and if you put your faith in the idea that the world is round Can we not also believe that part of that comes from the evolution as well gives us those kinds of markers

You know, he gives us those kinds of markers But there are things that he does say in the bible that I I take absolutely Believe it Wow, she's so fucking stupid, man. Look, we're fired up today. Okay And I hear a dog barking We're fired up today and a dog park is is is part of the reason why Well, yeah, I mean it started off good. You and I woke up We had a lovely leisurely coffee together. We went to jog

Today, which is the second day in a row. We've been making fitness together as a gather We've never done that together. Do you guys do fitness together? Fitness together, I think takes it to another level. We've always been fitness separately Yeah Because part of the thing but you exercise way harder than me So it's always been my pathetic excuse for fitness. But one of the things that's awesome is that I thought you were going to go yesterday when I went with you for a leisurely walk And I was fine with that

I was like, I'll accompany you on this walk and then you're like So I run from this market of that one and then I walked the next one that I run and I was like, oh, this is awesome So we got to do it together. Now you can do fitness with me. Yeah, because I made the decision A conscious decision that I will rise above my laziness I will force myself to make fitness for the sake of my future I'm for the sake of you know us and our relationship. I think it's I think it's amazing and you know, I Take the same position where I want to live. I want to live a long and healthy life. Yeah. Um, I don't want to I don't want to be fat

Fatter I don't want to be fatter You know, I'm strong as an ox. So I want to keep that and I I do weightlifting and I swing Kettlebells around and I kettlebells I take fitness. I try to make it intense and I try to get something out of it And I want it to continue and improve And um, yeah, it's good to do together. I think doing it together

I don't know. It just enhances it in a way. It's a motivator and uh, it's it's more fun Isn't it when you're well the thing is when you do it together, it is fun. And then you together go Let's eat something healthy together. Right. You know what I mean? Let's go Make a uh, healthy veggie juice together. Let's go Have this healthy, you know, I mean like no, I was just thinking of us Uh, was it yesterday when we first started running? We get down there and you're like, I'm so fat. I'm so fucking fat. I fucking hate myself I'm so fucking fat and I started laughing so hard

And then but you know what undoes those negative thoughts. Yeah taking action That's the only way to undo that. I do hate myself. I do hate my doesn't I hate my body Um, of course most of us, but I do work at it. You know, I do work out I think I work out more than people would imagine that I do you're actually you're in pretty good shape You do a lot. I do a lot, but I um, you know This is years of eating like shit that I have to fight through and I have to eat healthy to you know make changes You know, I mean

I do know. Yeah. I mean, I always you know I go you didn't put on this weight Overnight so you can't drop it overnight. You know, I mean toe its man But it is important to you have to do you have to take action. You really you have to Yeah, man a certain age you realize you have to yeah, it's not even an option. It's like necessity. It is I'm 37 You see people who go doesn't matter and you're like, holy shit, and that's a problem And actually that's my biggest motivator. We were talking about this today is uh Seeing people who have actively gone. You know what fuck it and you see those people in airplanes

You see those people some of them are our friends there's comedians that are friends of mine that I'm like this dude just You you're waiting for them to die. Yeah, you're waiting them to die way too early Yeah, it's very sad. I was just in a club where the One of the owners passed away three years ago from a heart attack Because he was a big guy and and I went told him hey, you got to stop Smoking you got to stop but eating so much and then he drops dead and leaves behind You know wife and kids and all that. Yeah, it's devastating man It is can't do that shit. No

No, you can't so we were walking and ira told me some really good news. Excuse me So that's your your jewish alter ego ira You're so cute. What did ira say to you ira goes? I take my vitamins and packets now. I bought these The vitamins and packages and I take the packages with me you're mocking me But the truth is I couldn't Get myself to remember to take vitamins even with people tweeting me Even with reminders for some reason the ritual of buying these prepackaged

Like multi like a bunch of vitamins in a pack Tearing that open yeah and taking five of them is something I remember more than taking one Then it works for you. That's what I'm saying, but ira you mock me as ira like I take these vitamins And I the otherwise I would forget Because you're turning into an old jew. I love it. What's my other old jewish stuff? I do my favorite was I like sailboats, but I don't like sailing in them I like looking at them. Yeah, I like and then today we saw a helicopter and you go Helicopters are nice, but I wouldn't want to ride in one

Makes me queasy My stomach gets all crazy. I'd like helicopters You made me ira in that equation Of course, but I'm not ira in that equation. You do like helichopters. I do and I like riding in them Would you like to drive a helichopter yourself? I would I would I would like to drive a helichopter. It's very dangerous. They're not very dangerous Super dangerous. No Yeah, no, they're not very dangerous. What about the one we took to catalina a few years ago that crashed that one?

That's an exception to the rule What do you think's more dangerous a helichopter or like a small two-seater plane? Well, there's more accidents in small planes Um than in big planes. I think between a small plane and a helichopter Interesting I have an uncle that died in a small plane in Hungary. Yeah You know, if your engine goes On a small plane You're better off in the small plane versus the helichopter

Okay, you can you can glide you can guide that thing to land your helichopter. You just have the what is that? The propeller whatever You spin and spin and spin but you can actually guide that to an emergency landing I don't know man somebody out there knows Somebody I I flew a small plane. I flew a Cessna when a couple of years ago You don't remember me taking flying lessons. I do. I didn't like that day Um scary for me That I was amazed at how light that plane felt in the air really

What's it like to to steer one to fly one? It was like fun. Very fun. It was exciting But I'm saying when we did our approach to landing, I mean, you know a little gust The plane goes like this. Really? Oh, yeah, you feel everything. Oh my god. You are You are like a paper plane when you're in one of those little Cessnas out there. It's scary and it just you know I was amazed because you don't obviously feel that when you're in a big 747 Helicopters though. I love helicopters I love hovering. I love the access you get to areas with a helicopter. You know, you can really

Move up and down around. I've always found them exciting. I've only been in like I would say I've in high school. I went and won probably six seven times We're friends, you know parents had them And that was awesome to fly in and out of a place in a helicopter. I thought it was awesome Helicopters. Helicopters are pretty cool Um, I like them. I I think the only time I've been in them was like during military gigs And then the guys they like to mess with you when you're a civilian and so they do fancy tricks and stuff By the way scares me for our listeners that wonder why we keep saying helichopter

That's we heard a famous basketball favorite player say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got a helichopter. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you could come fly my helichopter girl Yeah, so that's why we say that one time I was in a helichopter With a bunch of guys in afghanistan and I'll never forget this because I have a severe phobia of vomiting There was a guy, of course It was like 140 degrees fucking hot as balls and we're getting up and of course the plane is sideways Plane or helichopter. I'm sorry helichopter this way that way all kinds and the guy pukes into his helmet And he was sitting right across from me and I was like rough

And you can smell it and it's hot Got your kevlar vest. That is a very It's a tough thing to stomach, right? I didn't like it. No, that's not you at all. I do like the merlins. Have you seen those? Do you know merlin is a merlin they go kind of low like they go up and then they fly low to the ground But really fast That's cool. So their whole thing as opposed to going super high up Is to go low to the ground but quicker so that the the enemy can't get you. Hmm. Yeah, it's kind of neat I like that stuff never experienced that that sounds like fun

There's got to be a pilot out there that tells us what's up. Yeah, for sure. So we go to the fucking We have our morning fitness We come back Little fee finator. Yeah cutest can be Eyes are eyelashes batting ass Giving us his model pose. Oh We say let's take the foe

to the dog park The dog park for those of you everybody I guess different in every city But I think this thing I've seen the same everywhere Right, no matter the size is that they separate big dogs from little dogs Which makes a lot of sense. Sure does so We go and uh in this particular park. It says Small dogs in here. Um, he's our dog weighs 11 pounds, right small dogs. And then it says

30 pounds and under And puppies up to six months old that's what's allowed into the small dog park everything else large dog We go in there and it's little tiny dogs. It's Yorkies Adorables. Adorables little. We saw a gorgeous bowl of Frenchies. Oh All these tiny little dogs full of life and energy FIFO running around. Chihuahua's Everyone's running around making friends sniffing assholes. Just you know fun times cake and dirt

So cute. And then we see this big dumb fucking dog A slobbery slobbery stupid 12 times the size of every dog there And this goddamn dog Looks like it could bite kill a dog in one bite Well, even though it was its demeanor was floppy and sweet. Yeah, you don't know when a dog like that plays How aggressive it could get it could chomp your little dog's neck off. You don't know, of course that it's too big Why do I have to wonder about that dog? Yeah

So the dog is 70 pounds At least yeah hefty big dog big dog And I see them and I ask somebody I go What isn't that dog way too fucking big to be in here? This guy goes. Yeah, I don't know why it's here I'm looking around and I see these two dumb twats Sitting on a bench drinking their Starbucks

And you can see them just kind of yapping away Whatever dumb thoughts they have on the far end of the dog park by you like not actively watching to make sure their dogs Plural because they had another one another dog, right? running around and finally You know, I'm really bothered by this because I'm you know, I'm watching out for my I'm watching out for other dogs, too They see their big dog lumbering around Fucking going up to other dogs So I see one of them finally stand up because her little dog is trying to butt fuck Theo

And incessantly. Yes, and we had to to a point where we She's yelling from like fucking 50 yards away. Hey fucking. Yeah Fucking stupid dog. Stop doing that. What's his name like matchstick? Yeah matchbox. Yeah So she's like, ah, sorry I go Is that big dog your dog? And she goes, yeah, I go. Yeah, it's way too big to be in here. We're leaving now So whatever I'm like, all right And then I see her dumb

Confriend And I because I didn't know like I go that your dog this is after I said it to the first girl She goes, yeah, I go. Yeah, it's way too big for this part. You know that and she goes. Well, you know He's like he's very sweet. Yeah, he's very sweet. And I was like, okay She goes, he's scared of the dogs on that side The big dogs his size right And I go, well, what about these dogs? But they might be scared of him, right? And she goes, he's not bothering anybody and I go he's bothering me

Because I don't know if he's gonna fucking Attack, I don't know your dog. Why do I have to like watch your dog now the whole time? Right, which is what we were doing because she wasn't actively watching her dogs plural One dog that was trying to rape our dog one of her small dogs was a fucking rapist that cute little white dog Who kept trying to mount fifo? Yep, and we had to keep kicking him off and then number two dog the big dopey one frothing at the mouth everywhere Unreal man disgusting set me off putting in a really bad mood. Can you believe it though the audacity? I mean, there's I do there's two separate sides. Just go to the side

No Yeah, go go to your right side. Why can't you follow directions because those here's the thing those are selfish? Yes rude self-entitled Um inconsiderate. Yeah cunts. Yeah, they're fucking cunts. Yeah, and what they do is they see those signs and they go I don't have to do that doesn't apply to me does none of this applies to me. You know what they don't know um Fucking boo boo

He's really sweet. Oh, I know I know that it's yeah, it's 30, but they don't know how sweet my dog super sweet So that whole thing that's set up for everybody that doesn't apply to me. Fuck you Fuck you You're fucking cunt And she goes through life like that and I guarantee you Every time there's a sign or something set up. Hey, this is how we do this here. She goes. Well, you know what? I do that's for everybody else that doesn't apply to me I think what's especially annoying is that yes, she ignores the signs

It's her world and then b if you're gonna do that At least be diligent about keeping an eye on the dog If you're gonna break the rules at least make sure that nothing bad happens as a consequence of that She basically what she did was She took her fucking seventh grade Son and put him in third grade football and was like he's a really sweet kid who cares. Yeah, your kid's a huge beast Yeah, I don't I don't know your dumb fucking beast

Can you imagine when we have kids set me off? It set me off for the whole day that lady. No, I know But can you imagine when we have a kid like how annoying that's going to be with parents? How fucking disrespect I can even if people are like that with their dogs You know, they must be with their kids. Holy shit unbelievable Yeah, and you're just trying to do the right thing and try to be cool and man It did set you off. It upset me too. I didn't like that. I did. We're very sensitive today. You and I are in a weird, you know

Sensitive mommies We should tell people that um, you know, one of the things that happened was that when we did san francisco Um, this will be fun. Those will put us in a good mood. What? Well our recording didn't go well We had all this great audio that we played That hasn't been played on our show And it's really good and we both researched it Really really diligent. I mean first off was the discharge clip

That is a man Getting fucked in the ass by another man. Hmm. He makes a noise that I've never made In 17 years of heterosexual sex When have you ever made that now is this from the clip I found no, okay No, I've never made that that's a border on pain. That's really border. Yeah, I think that's right in there taking the pain Yeah Oh man, it's so aggressive. Yeah, so aggressive Give me that hole

It's fun. It is fun. Give me that hole. Come on. Yeah, that's that's good It's really aggressive. Tell me what that caught. Oh with a smack. Tell me what that caught You hear what he's saying? No Tell me what that caught Let me have that cock. Tell me you want that cock. Tell me what that caught And then he gives it to him. Thank you, sir I like that one. That's silly Yeah

Well, I found a lovely scenario These clips are from mac sf if you want to know there's a two different these are two different clips Oh, there's the two guys that are wrestling. Yes the playful scenario is like you insulted my mom You insulted my dad. Let's wrestle and then they accidentally buttfuck each other The um the playing around before that is was really Yeah, really fun getting into it. Yeah, that was really fun um I think I have

Let's see. You sent me a number of these. Yeah, I researched these which was fun to have in my history Yeah You like having that? I like that. It's kind of a neat thing that I if I want to go back and reminisce I can This made me laugh so fucking hard when you sent me this one Oh Yeah, what's this I heard didn't talk shit about me at the bar last night, huh? I heard you're talking shit about me at the bar last they're wearing Leather and not a lot more just little bits of it little pieces of leather and where are they that they is this in the ring

It looks like a like a wrestling mat Yeah, so there's like a like a little fight scenario. Who the fuck do you think you are and they're shoving each other? Yeah I hope this doesn't lead to bud sex. I hope it doesn't. Yeah, you know you wouldn't have that ass, don't you? Yes, sir Mm-hmm this should be in there, too I feel like he belongs in that world. All right. I think he does too. I'd now that we Have some distance from it. Mm-hmm. I feel as though he's part of that whole s&m

Dominance whatever glutton fest thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh Tell us again how you discovered mac sure um Actually, I'm not sure I remember. I think it was her suit per suit. We were oh, yeah, all right He's connected to those guys. That's right. I think he recorded a song with her. We looked on the Uh cover art. Yeah, his name was in there. Yeah, and then that's how we that's right So it's all credit to her suit per suit Yeah, and uh, if you want to google him, please do mac sf m a c k new word sf

Yes sf as in san francisco. Yeah And he's kind of the original dom the mac daddy daddy if you will. Yeah, that's who he is. Yeah It looks really Really scary to be in a room. What do you like the best? What would you say? God? What's scary? He's like the he epitomizes the dungeon sex

Gay slave genre. I mean he is the You know the um, what's the movie pulp fiction? And they throw them in the dungeon and they're butt fucking ving reams and you're like, all right, but the guy doesn't you know He looks creepy, but he's but this is the guy They should have waiting in the basement. It's yes. He's he is the he invented this. He's the gay cock of your nightmares You know And it looks like and it looks like he would win if you were like, I got to get out of here Yeah, and he's a big bear. He's about 50 years old

He's yoked yoked big fuck stalky A lot of uh chest fur Doesn't shower a lot. I I'm guessing he looks greasy Musky musky bear you smelling from across the room Gows a lot And there was this one scenario that I researched Um, where it's him and two guys and they're in a men's bathroom And one guy's bent over on the sink

And then one guy's behind him butt fucking him and then mac shows up and what's really nice is he's so he's so concerned That the one guy might slip that's in front of him. He puts down a nice towel And then he goes you stand on this and then he's like you father You know, he does his whole shtick. Yeah, and then the guys are like, you know Thank you, sir. Yeah Yeah, that is nice And by the way, um, we mentioned this to our san francisco crowd. I want to make it clear as day here We are not homophobic

This is nothing to do with homophobia. No, it's just that this stuff is Hysterical what is that? I would say it's almost homo appreciation. Absolutely. I would say we're a homo celebration Homo celebratory if you will. Like we're giving him a platform if you're interested in this sort of thing. Check it out Check it out. Check this stuff Said fuck me. Yes, sir. Don't fuck me. Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir You don't make that sound when it just feels good. That's that's the edge of it feels good and hurts Oh He gave a fool a fly

That never happens Oh, yeah, we left out that um on top of the the big chest and the hair He's also got a fucking hog on him. Sorry. That's why this guy's going Oh, yeah, thank you, sir There you go. Oh man. No, we did it for you. I don't think through Through vaginal sex. I've ever felt that And it's very insulting to me what you're saying right now intense. Well, there was one Puerto Rican guy, but Wow, man, don't you think it's just fantastic to be a gay man. It's got to be like the best thing ever

I mean, yes, you're persecuted And society is not ready for you to be married all those things aside Sexually speaking once you're in that community It's the best Did you imagine just to walk into a bar and be like you let's go fuck and that dude was like, you know That that's the part of it is that you as sexually charged as Most guys as we are What happens is being with you know being heterosexual and being with a woman

You actually dial back That part of you because you know you have to you have to behave Assertively, you know that like Just letting it go is basically not acceptable. Like you're full pigishness all right you dialed, but I mean if you're gay and You're like I'm a dude. This is what I want and you there's a thousand million other guys are like me too

You get to really you get to put that shit in fifth gear. You know, I mean great. It must be amazing We as straight guys go Well, you know All right, yeah, maybe you know Squeeze your ass a little more right you right You are still you know a woman sometimes celebrates that but you know, it's all right, you know Behave it's all you know you you're pulling it back until A moment presents itself where you can indulge in it right until both of you are on the same page

Right, I think a man's sexuality starts at 10 And a woman starts somewhere lower and then we work our way up to the 10 right as opposed to like Every all pistons firing I'm not I mean I can't speak for all women. Yeah, of course, but I know the generally speaking Yeah, you got to work your way up to the 10 we're speaking in like you know These are generalizations, but it's like these are pretty much applicable to most people. Yeah, you know, I mean even now It's like I could be like all right as fuck right now and you're like, all right Well, give me a minute. Yeah, I need a minute for you to warm the oven

I got to put the shade on I got to get the Puerto Rican poster the calendar out that I enjoy but if I were like Hey, Jim Let's fuck right now. And then the other guy's like yep. Fuck. Yeah, let's go because you guys are all at 10s You're at 10 all the time. Exactly. Yeah, we're not a 10 all so this really is like hey guys Yeah, congratulations, you know Yeah, I think biologically speaking women can't be at a 10 all the time because of our reproductive cycles

Like there's a time like when you ovulate you're at a 10 because you're like this egg needs to be fertilized There wears a male and then when the egg doesn't get fertilized It's kind of like okay system shutting down. We're going into You know, the uterus is going to shut its lining because there was no fertilized egg Like we're in we're in cycles where you guys are always like One level of high right you guys are always like fertilized fertilized fertilized fertilized all the time. Yeah, that must be terrible Yep, that's so crazy. So how do you learn to tame that savage inclination society, I mean just just you know

behaving and like you just Interacting in society you go to high school. You go to middle school You you know your systems are telling you go go go and then You know girls are some girls are telling you no. So you're like, oh like if I want this girl I got to play this way, right? So you just I think little bits and pieces of that as you Get older you realize there's a there's a way to get What you want and it's not by Usually by being like that some girls are different some girls are fucking pigs too. Yes, absolutely

But you you know how to pick those I told you real quick. Yeah, I can Like that, right? I know, you know who's gonna be a pig and who's not exactly. I know what kind of girl It's gonna make that noise Did you make that how many girls did you make that noise with a Puerto Rican? You ever had that type of pain Oh man I mean because usually with me you're like, all right, let's go and I'm like I'm in there and you're like no No, like put it in I go start seriously. Yeah, I'm in there and you go. Which where are you?

I mean, how many how many can you put another one in there and I go? This is the big this is the main one And you go. Oh my god. It hurts so bad like that. Mm-hmm. That's what I'm used to Right. I mean, how many dicks do you want me to go back in my dick catalog? Jesus. There's so many There's just a roll of decks of cocks And they're all so huge everybody's so huge whole king You want to watch some big dick videos together when we're done with this? No Ah, it's so awful. I thought that'd be fun. Jesus Christ

Oh Major Oh Here it is guys Major major dental update. I'm so excited to share this with you guys. So as you know Your mommy christina p has two front teeth that are uh bondings

Which means I chipped one of them growing up and the so now they're both fake. I have two fake front teeth They don't uh take to bleach so I can't lighten them And they also don't glow in a back a black light I've had these teeth now for like 12 years. It's time to change them out I don't believe in veneers because I don't like to shave them down I like to keep my natural teeth any hoodles the point of story is I've started bleaching them the surrounding teeth Which means that the my two front teeth will remain yellow

While the surrounding teeth will get whiter and whiter until I get my new teeth made And Tommy What happened to you today? I went To the dentist today and got fitted for my own bleaching trays I feel like white teeth does so much for you so much it makes such an impression and it really is It's accessible to everybody it's not Cheap but it's not outrageous. There are treatments that are outrageously priced I'm not participating in that

But getting trays and getting the stuff to put them on and making your teeth Shiny white beautiful white It leaves such an impression. It's not that crazy expensive. No, I remember Getting them whitened for free once as part of a deal I had going With a production company. I love the way it looked. Oh, it's the best. First of all, it makes you look younger You look healthy. Yes, you look stunning. Yes, so I got my bleaching trays yesterday and then this evening I used them I got 35 percent, which is like the highest level of bleaching you can put in the tray

And I put them in I only did it for half the time. I'm supposed to Mm-hmm. They burned they burned bad So fucking bad. I was like, dude, I don't know if I can do this. I mean I could hear it sizzling That's good. I could feel it. I could feel it Crackling in my gums It was mortifying it was so painful and then finally the pain kind of diminished and I took them out brushed my teeth

and Gums on the bottom white bleached white. Oh my god. Yeah, that's so awesome Yeah, so it's really working is the exciting part the thing is look if you are in pain if If you are seeing uh, things change colors that are not part of the equation That's part of paying the price Extra good whitening. That's right. That's extra. Well, here's the thing. I googled it apparently that's normal not normal But not it's it. It's an undesired Uh consequence, but they've returned. Let's look are they white still?

They're No, they're back to red. Yeah, bleedy red is my normal gum color, right? Bloody bloody gingivitis red So anyways, it's already lifted the other teeth colors around my two fronts My two fronts are yellow and now the rest are going to be white. So that's that's going to be a nice humiliating month Of me walking around looking like a donkey Will you have two yellow teeth two front the front? No less yellow teeth buttery popcorn yellow and the rest are gonna be white It's so embarrassing, but you know, I have to go through it every 12 years and then

Of course, but like brant topler was in here and he had the veneers done Beautiful chompers gorgeous But the problem too is that the veneers you can't lift those either meaning you can't bleach them like Once they're on you and are that color. They're just that color. Yeah And they're permanent You have little you have little baby teeth underneath veneers little tic-tacs. Yeah, it's terrifying. So scary. I won't do it I won't do it. I won't do it. And even though I should for these two fronts Yeah, I'd rather just get them bonded every 10 years or so. Yeah. Yeah, because it's kind of it feels more natural to me

Yeah, they look in my opinion. They look more natural. They look great. They look great. Well right now This one's all chipped up, but we'll see. All right. I am mortified, babe It's already bad like my two fronts are already yellow right and everything else is white Yeah, it's already like and that's just one tree, but that's fine. You know what for how long when do you get the bondings? November 19th. I get my bond so you look like a clown for a month We have meetings set up with like yeah show business people. That's fine You think really I could walk into meetings. Of course you can be like, oh, of course you can yellow popcorn Of course you can you just have a little fucking

You have a couple yellow teeth big deal. It happens. You can tell a fun story when we walk in the room I cannot wait for you To try this when you get your set I get them on thursday You're gonna fucking cry because this should hurt so bad. I can't wait. I was ready to rip them out I can't wait. Let's do it. You're not gonna be able to handle it. Okay. My my bet is you're gonna fucking lose your mind and Cry it hurts like shit Yeah We'll see about that

We'll give you another dental update to let you know how I handled it. Okay. Did you even hit sale for 15? I did a full 15 like I said after about the halfway mark after about eight minutes Kind of dwindled in pain. Yeah, but man those first five. I was like really burning. Uh, I don't know if I you can actually hear It sizzling. That's the crazy and my gums. I heard it go Interesting. Yeah, buddy It's top dog Hey, buddy. It's top dog Hey, buddy

It's top dog You need to wipe down It's top dog top dog and char. I just got back from a cruise Oh my gosh And my goal was to call them and see if I could talk to them individually, but I lucked out And both answered the phone at the same time. Oh my god. So that's a rare treat It's a rare treat. Here they are talking The cruise. Oh my god

Hey, Ed Hey, buddy. How you doing? I am also in the red line, but I just want to tell you it comes as a tummy secure one All right I'm sure you want to talk to over there someone. No, I want to know how the cruise was. I want to talk to you guys Oh good What's going on big dog? What can you tell me more than oh good mom? Oh, we had to I'm so excited. I can talk to you if beyond my belief We should tell you that they cruise a lot. They love cruises

Um, what would you say every three months every four months they cruise they cruise? I would say they cruise Yeah, I would say they cruise at least Four to five times a year. I think not necessarily together. That sounds weird They go on three or four cruises a year and then like for some reason My mom ends up going on a few more with like her sister or one of my sisters So and they've been doing this for like a decade. So they've been on Countless cruises. So there's always a lot of they love it. They love it. They just love the convenience. I think that's the thing is I I'm and we are more of like let's go somewhere because I've been on cruises with them. Obviously they're cruise fanatics

I'm like, yeah, but I would rather like because you know the whole thing is you're on the cruise ship And then you stop at all these different, you know ports, right? You get off and then you're there for like eight hours and wherever it's like in ocho rios jamaica or Cozumel or st. Thomas and then you get on your ship and you leave and I go No, I want to go to st. Thomas and spend a week there. Yeah, I always that's my whole well We we took one cruise with your folks. Yeah a few years ago and um, I was it left me feeling disappointed because you get off at this Gorgeous location

And then they're like, all right time to go back and you're like, no, I want to see Turks and Caicos. I want to explore this. Yeah, it's just not but anyways, they love it. Yes. I'll tell you I did I'll tell you one thing that I didn't do on the cruise Yeah, because I didn't normally have the big shits that I usually have If I'm going to be in the line, we're not I'm just it's just an opening comment. Okay Opening comment because usually You don't know this channel, but when I every time I talk, okay, I don't want to be in the conversation Mom, please wait

Please wait. Okay. Oh, but the cruise was great because I did nothing. Okay I love it so much already. Yeah when she is like, I do not want to And that's when I want her to listen even more of course. Yeah Yeah, I bought a book. I didn't even open it. You did I didn't even open it. I have to be honest out of all the cruises we have done I think this is the most relaxed I have ever seen. I just specialized In ladies, you know, I just I just really relaxed. That's not like your dad. No, no, he's always pent up

He's always in his khakis. Even when he's relaxed. He's in khakis. We never visited the ship I mean, really? I think you got a great room Food was good game four pounds um Did a lot. I did a lot of walking on there. You know, I did do a lot of exercise walking But uh, wait if you gained weight and you ate what why do you think you didn't shit as big as you normally do I don't know I love his sincerity, you know, well, I don't know, you know what I love is your opera

Detective work there. I mean you really listened exactly and you deductively reasoned something here That was a really good move on your part. And I'm thinking Of my audience, right? What does my audience want to hear? Do they want to hear how he relaxed and how he didn't read his book and how no They want to know about those shits. Hmm. You're so good at this jeans I don't think it goes any way. I know I thought what it is. I didn't smack between the meals Yes, you did. Oh, no, no Did not did not go up and snake little burgers and stuff like that. Didn't any of that shit

Basically eight three times a day. Okay, mom and how about the concierge with the appetizers? Oh, those are just a little bitty appetizers. No meals there babe. Come on. Okay. Yeah He's just That's that's the reason I didn't have the big ones. I have to tell you something. I gained so much weight I'm not joking. I asked your fire I couldn't bottom my pants anymore and the zipper was half the way down So I have to wait sweaters to cover it. I said, don't have you ever seen me this big before and he says yes I said be honest and he says I'm being honest. I said, why have I ever been this big?

He says when you were pregnant Oh, shit Bad answer. The best thing is that he's not trying to be funny. That's when he's his funniest You're right when he's sincere. He's sincere. He's like, yeah one time when you were pregnant when you're pregnant with tommy So you laughed what I did and I said, this is not funny. I'm honestly asking you have you ever seen me like this? No, when I was pregnant, he says yes We went right after you deliver Oh my god

Mom Yes, did you notice the dad shit less than on other cruises? No, no No, I did Not only no, but I can tell you how many times. Okay, baby. I have to go to that I need to look at and running In the ship trying to see what can he do it without doing a couple Sevens and eights on the ship. There's no such thing as an eight. That's a new category

Yeah, I had an eight, but you know Whoa, wait a minute. Stop the presses. Yeah, so we have to modify the bristle stool chart the bristle stool chart has an additional shit that Basically he ignored the fact that it doesn't exist. I said it doesn't exist. He goes. Yeah. Anyway, so I had an eight Wow, so I think the eight would be I think it should be called a top dog. I think oh, you're right. I think that's brilliant and it should be

Everything inside you all at once The wipe down. Yeah. Yeah a monster collection. It's basically your insides come out Because he was just like, yeah, I don't give a shit what you just said right there. I was like, there's no way I had an eight. Dude, your dad just invented a new level on the bristle stool chart. Yep. That's amazing Yep, he really loves it. Wow. Listen to this a couple sevens and effects Okay, but I didn't have any Really never ever understand That's what we can enjoy talking about your trip. I didn't really have those big

One, two, three, they didn't have Huh mom, how did you go on the cruise? I I gained five pounds And I enjoyed tremendous, but did you shit a lot? I actually have kind of little ideas Sounds like they both did. Yeah Why

I don't know. I think I'm used to eat salads and many lunches in order to eat so much dessert I would start with a gigantic salad I was kind of just a point of time in myself because I thought I would have Kind of a good story to tell you about one of the really Never happened. Wow. So did you guys was the food good? Oh food was great The the main restaurant the food was excellent The dining the dining room and the service was excellent, too

We have two lunches plus two seats. A lot of really fat people on the cruise Really a lot of black people on cruise Really a whole bunch must be in some sort of black event Oh my god What event can that be? What black event? What is he talking about? You know what I'm saying I I didn't notice that

Every day happy notice how many black people Well, a lot of times convention a lot of times they have family reunion trips So that's why you find big groups Well Yeah, but why would that not why would that mean that it's not a family reunion trip like I just suggested But could be it could be you know, I mean, there were a lot of uh, you know, these are all adult blacks The ones running around Okay, there were any little ones running around in other words didn't look like families. Oh

Gotcha Even though he keeps pointing at me to look for the blacks Because he told me that when I ate that dinner I was sitting in a place that everybody that walks in the restaurant with the very very first table So when you walk in You see a bit before walking in and they were passing in front of me So it's a chicken for a black one. You know, Tommy, there is There are ugly people in the world, but there is another definition what I call cruise ship ugly. Okay. Yeah

What is that? These are people that are I think you're very disrespectful when you talk about human beings I really don't like it. Why why once he's to talk about his cacophony You know, why is that I am for you if then don't pull me in the conversation. I don't like to talk about people like that I don't I don't appreciate it. I'll wait a moment. I'm gonna hang up so you can keep Let me ask you So just to be clear there It was

He loves he this is a ritual for him when we talk about like cruises or anywhere really he visits. He talks about ugly people So that was you know, he had that wasn't tied into the black people. This is a separate new separate. Yes was Yes, I've heard this before on the cruise. You know, he loves talking about like Wildly obese people and very ugly people. Yes, and um Charo Really does not appreciate Right making fun of people. Yes, period. Right. She's very sympathetic

Yes, very empathetic to people's situation we you me my dad We're assholes. We'd like to make fun of people. We're bad people Yes, who judge others and laugh and mock them for their shortcomings and I might point out make a living doing that, right? But Anyways, charo doesn't play that game. No, so she would rather excuse herself from the conversation She also has not has gotten Sad and upset when we've made fun of old people

And people having trouble walking and you know, mental disabilities. Yes, she does not find any of this Bagging guy who's clearly retarded. Yeah, all of that is not okay for right I want to ask you one other thing though mom because one thing I always wonder about On these cruises is there's there are every year. There are multiple stories where um, a man will kill his wife By throwing her off the cruise ship because it's one of the great Ways you can do it. I mean now, you know, there's security cameras and everything

But if you can get a woman to fall off or a man anybody to fall off And that cruise ship is cruising at night. There is no turning back if nobody notices and you definitely not only that Every night after our dinner. He says, let's go outside and walk to play the rosary So I noticed that he always put me towards the bike. I'm walking outside I'm the one who's facing the water and I pushing him to get inside. He says, what are you doing? I don't want to be in that side. You go out. I stay in the inside Every time we turn around he put me back out and I have to push him back in And then he took me in the area and you tell him if I'm lying

We're walking in the area that was black pitch black I said, I don't feel comfortable walking here. I mean it was instead of praying For other people I was praying for that to please don't let my husband kill me here It was I still don't know some of he took me there We were doing the walking around the ship on the project. Yeah, but he gets at the point that when it's pitch black You said, let's don't do it in a row. That was when it's at night. I gave you no, they have lights all over That's potty didn't when that's pot me then because that's what you wanted to take me Did you fear did you fear for him on this ship and that moment I fear

And you worry that that dad's going to kill you For one time he told me he was going for a walk For me three hours later. He's not back I was petrified I mean he came so can wait from top to head And I said, Tom I was he says I just came back because I thought you were going to be worried, but I actually could be walking more Jesus, how can I expect you to walk this long? He says I had I was completely pumped. Come on. So you said pop

Start up yours doing my really power was like 90 degrees power walk It was hot as hell And he was completely pumped Sorry, all right, buddy. That's good. That's good burning off those calories. Oh, there you go. Oh my god Top dog and charo and she feared her life on this cruise not a she feared her life Not huge shits, but a full like array of shits A lot of salad for her some diarrhea A lot of blacks

We're on this cruise a lot of ugly people ugly people are on the screen. We didn't get into that Right, yeah, all that. Um, we love you. Yeah, this was a fun show guys. Thank you for as always for joining us Yes, thank you. Please visit your mom's house podcast Dot com go to our store. Please support us Get the bike shirt and we will see you guys all very very soon. We love you jeans. Bye. I have a song for you I'd like to do that. Uh I'd like to go to the bar Five listen to him talk trash on that. You're talking about your mom's house podcast stop that laughing ain't gonna happen

The fix for a piss poor day this gay discourse of mixed sorts get the pitch fortune listen Why the bell? Hey, you're in jail laying with your porter. We can sell mate Or when you tell date listen before the game starts play cards listen why you're shoplifting in kmart Honest, I mean it. It's not a big secret. I'm often seated in the kitchen listening to time with pristine at the end of a rough day Get along the drain get my nut shade if I'm lucky get it then I love Just great like the devil loves flames like the devil loves heavy metal women who love snakes This is just a thing to help your nerves and calm down. Are you like when out, bitch? Welcome to your mom's house Welcome to your mom's house

Welcome to your mom's house Queens Welcome to your mom's house Welcome to your mom's house Your mom's house starring pristina persit school and time cinderella Especially parents fly top dog. It actually happened to me or land on the airport west And joke double is there anything worse? Your mom's house

Your mom's house Man