Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 210-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: April 2, 2014

Ain't nothin in life free. P***y would be at the top of that list, especially for an ex-pat roided out Aussie pimp handling his Thai ho's. Make sense? Dude has some good points and a LOT of job stoppers (you'll soon understand). A man violated the safety and sanctity of our neighborhood in front of Tina and inTO a Yoplait (possible future sponsor?). We go to the Forensic Files to see if we can solve the case! Do families that masturbate together just, basically, get along the best? We just don't know. Tina left behind a life in the KGB to come to the US of A and today is the anniversary. Will she be allowed to stay? Obama decides! Wiping with a MAN'S wipe is new for Lady Jeans. We can't wait for her review. Most IMPORTANTLY we break down the new and accepted criteria for crowning the You Know What I'm Sayin Champion and it's a real GAME CHANGER. It's spring time, get that seasonal denim out! 

Oh. What's up, Jeans? You know, I was just looking over here at, uh, I don't have any dates to plug. That's cool. That's what's up. I mean, unless you're local, I would advise that you come see us. We're doing the mom cast. What date? The 16th? April 16th. We're doing my birthday show. My Smurf day show podcast. Yeah, we're doing the live podcast in, um, San Diego on my Smurf day, April 16th. And then a few days later, April 19th. We're doing the podcast

in, uh, Pasadena at the Ice House. That should be fun. Please come San Diego to my birthday show. Please come. It's not called that. Pasadena to, uh, the show April 19th, the podcast. I have some stand-up dates in between. Um, I'll tell you this week, I'm in Virginia Beach. If you are in the Virginia Beach area, I love that funny bone. It's the best one in the country. Oh, yeah. Of the funny. I've never done that one. They don't have me there. Um, probably because they don't want you to see how the best one is done. It's probably right. They're like, you can't handle all this fun. You can't handle how well this club works.

You need to go to some of our less, lesser clubs. Yeah, it sounds about accurate for me. I wish they had that policy with people that are like, everything's so good here. We don't want you to see it. No, I really, I've always had a great time at Virginia Beach. So That is a good policy. You know, you're not ready to experience all of this awesome. Um, and then, uh, next week I'm going to be where I'm going to be. Oh, I know where I'm going. I'm finally going to Skyline in Appleton, Wisconsin.

Oh, you're going to love that club. That's a really, it's a fun room. People are super cool and sweet and there's cheese. That's sweet. That's awesome. There's, uh, curdle cheese, curds. They do that there. Yeah. Bags of it. Just bags of it everywhere. Yeah, it's weird. I like that. It's nice though. Um, so I'm doing that, um, April 9, 10, 11. I'm doing that. Yep. Uh, No, I'm excited to go. I've, I've heard about Skyline for years. Yeah, it's rad. You're going to love it. Actually, you know what? I'm going to plug my one thing. Are you done? No, I'm not done. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Um, and then as if his jeans couldn't get any higher.

I go to, uh, Cleveland and, uh, at the end of the month, or actually the week before the end of the month, I'd like to stay on the road. Um, so I'm doing, is this as nice as the Virginia beach? Is this the best? It's April 24th through 27th, Cleveland improv. And then both of her jeans get put on at the same time. And we finally, we go to vancouver You've never been. I'm so excited. We're doing the podcast live in vancouver one night only. It's wednesday, april 30th

and the rest of the week we're doing standard updates. It's all at the comedy mix on barrage street Please come see us. Um, I've, I've been telling you how great Vancouver is for years Yeah, I'm excited to go back to manada. Even though I was born in, uh, Windsor, which is not vancouver Oh, but it's just as nice. I hear Windsor's just as nice I'm, I love canada since I went back to Toronto. I'm a huge canada fan. Yeah, I don't know if you understand There's no such thing as you saying like I love him. You're fucking canadian Now, actually, tom, we're gonna get into that today. I'm american. Okay. All right. Go. What's your I'm a us citizen

What's your other? What's your live date? So, um, I'm gonna be with you and then we're gonna do the pod and then uh, what's really neat is that I'm striking out on My own you guys. This is very exciting June 6th one night only. I will be doing stand up One night only at the fun house in portland, or again, this is a new way of me doing things I'll tell you what I'm I'm trying to stick it to the man a little i'm trying to fucking do punk rock diy I'm doing it on my own And I hope you guys come out and support me because I love to continue to do stand up this way

I think it's just more conducive to tom and my personal lives To only spend one night out as opposed to five and doing six shows as opposed to doing just one And I really hope you guys come out and support this paradigm because I would love for us just to be able to spend one night out And come home and kiss and hug and have marital relations You know, you might look like dog the bounty hunter's wife But you have the heart of gg allen

Hey What a compliment. Yeah. Wow. That's like the best compliment I've ever had. It's a full fucking circle Do you think I could count my boots and shorts like gg and look as good I've been uh tweeted and emailed a couple times this week, but uh with uh Christina, I don't think it looks anything like I love when people I'm so upset about that. Yeah. Well, that's true. I mean, here's the thing. I look like I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about She looks exactly like

Dog's wife, but what part specifically? specifically I would say from the tip top of your head to the bitty bottom of your feet Is that my wavy blonde abundant white? You're a dead ringer for her. I mean, but is it because my hair is straw white It's it's the it's the bleach Blondness the shit the hair actual style the fullness of it. Sure um It's the triple g's on your chest

Well, I want to get them bigger your heels. You always wear It's uh black leather Same clothes. You guys. Yeah, you guys dress the same leather. Bam. You always wear your denim skirt She's pretty thick too like me. I think she's pretty thick. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's on hawaii. I'm sorry E they eat a lot of spam Yeah, they do. She looks like she's probably had a Sampler too of that Of spam of dog spam

dogs Spam Yeah, dog, all right Oh, yeah, really a job Thank you guys Easter's coming up. Uh, are you christian tom? Uh, I am because I don't want to spend eternity in hell Like some of our non-believing friends. Well, obviously Easter is actually a pagan holiday. Uh, Oh, you're like, oh throw it right back in your face. Well, just so you know

You're celebrating with the heathens have celebrated fertility sex love fucking Uh, if you're gonna celebrate Easter, I suggest you go to amazon using our banner on your mom's our new banner Yeah, yeah, yeah on your mom's house podcast.com click on our banner the new one please Yeah, please if you've bookmarked in the past, which we really appreciate Um, please make sure that you're using our new banner. It's it's on the site now. Yeah, we were bamboozled Straight up. We're just gonna tell you what happened. We were bamboozled by the people we trusted to run it last time And uh, we put some fail safes in place now so that won't happen again now we um We have our own access to it and we know see what's going on that you're using it

So we appreciate any of you that have used it, but um, please continue to Do your amazon shopping? Through that banner right and as I was saying uh, Easter's coming up now is the time go there You can buy your Easter baskets your bunnies your chocolates your your what else do you buy for Easter? the Christians your your crosses your crucifixes your Uh, suffering christ's all those fun things for the child the children Uh, buy those on amazon Also, they have special offers on all your chucky treats for sure. Chucky's again

Uh, you could buy a lawn and gardening stuff. They have special offers on that for spring also Uh, spring training's coming up. They got baseball equipment. I know tom. You're a huge baseball fan true Uh, go ahead and buy your bats and your mitts and your tits and your whips uh southeast It's spring football. It's coming right up right now. So make sure you get new gloves new cleats You know i'm saying you need to get new pads. You know i'm saying uh, you need to get You know i'm saying uh, little arm bands and wrist bands. You know i'm saying you need to get all that shit You know what i'm saying grease you got to buy grease somewhere grease Yeah, um auto parts. Did you know you could buy auto parts on amazon?

You can and for cheaper than you would out in the streets Well, if you stole them that would be the cheapest way, but if you don't want to steal no more That's uh, it's pretty good Also, get your springtime fashions guys get your new flip-flops get your springtime sandals Get your springtime denim get your accessories your jewels ladies If you live in the south too, we're in the southern california It's beach time already get all your beach stuff get your beach dog wear get your umbrella. Yeah Get your beach chair get your bikini get your cooler put put all your your ice daiquiris in it

You can't bring ice daiquiri to the beach there you can you're in charge you can do whatever you want How would it stay cold tom you put ice in there? Uh You know what we're saying you don't say Well, that's it amazon go through your banner Bookmark that shit go to your mom's house podcast over again because we got bamboozled. Yep. All right We love you. Here's the show ready to do this So much so much to go over. Oh my goodness There's all this perception of free pussy

Yeah, there's this stupidest thing in the world. I've ever heard is is free pussy. No pussy is free every Pussy on earth has a payment even if that payment is timed. It's still a payment. This guy said to me. I'm married I've got free pussy. How can it be free when you've lost your freedom? He's living in a cage He has to be home at six o'clock at night and he's he's telling me he's got free pussy He hasn't even got freedom. How can the pussy be free? There is no free pussy Every every pussy on earth has a value This shit is big time Who is rammed?

Don't bring anyone loving to this No mama in the fucking stand Welcome Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura And Christina Pajitza Welcome to your mom's house Get fired up today

I Like when guys You watch bands like live shows and they're like They get excited about their their their song or like the the next Movement in the song that's coming up and you see the smile like the open mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah The smile and the nod like deaf leopards drummer But I feel like they play that song so much. They're like, this is the only part I have to look forward to tonight Yeah, that's true

Hey, that was a really nice clip that you chose Who was that? This is my dad and No, he um This is I think it's a pimp is what they said this is That would be appropriate Tim Shark tim sharky should have put on deodorant before I did this podcast. Are you stinking?

Of course, I get so excited and then I sweat through my jeans. You know I have my robe on right. We're doing a morning podcast. We never do this point that out This is the first time ever. We're all jacked up on coffee and koi ludes. Well Tommy is smart And he is working Uh, 23 of 30 days this month. So We have to find time to do our show Even if that means getting up in the morning and doing it

I got my coffee So wait, so this is your dad and he was like talking about your the relationship with your mother Yeah, basically this guy. He's a real savage. I mean, he's Tatted from neck to his ankles These guys he looks like a juice head like he's been full of roids for about 40 years fired it Yeah, can I just tell you sidebar? I had uh sunday with my cousin and her husband Julie and her husband Justin They have a website called crespunks.com if you're into that thing and they sell like bullet belts and all the crespunks

Any hoodles they've got tons of tattoos on their bodies. They've got a lot A really a lot neck. Justin's got neck. So does Julie and then they've got chest pieces chest full every every part And so uh, Justin has his knuckles done And he goes, you know what they call it when you have your neck your face and your knuckles Job stoppers. I thought that was so fucking funny new job stoppers job stoppers is great So that guy's got does he have full job stoppers? Oh, yeah Dude, this guy's completely covered. Yeah um

Yeah, so Let me see your your thing. I'll show you something my phone I like how you know the code to get into my phone, which is not cool. I don't know your code. What is it? Oh, yeah Okay Just tell everybody. Okay. Hold on. No, I had to change mine. I changed mine because I did it on rogan I remember that. Yeah, I was kind of scary. I was in such a panic and I didn't realize I was Doing it on camera the whole time You were you were essentially opening your phone on rogan show right and then people all started tweeting me

My password they're like four five nine two Yeah, um, so this is the guy you're listening to right now. Holy Okay, okay. This guy's crazy Okay, let me look at him. He like he kind of looks like the techno viking if you google techno viking But he's a little beefier than that guy. Yeah, he's got like Maori chest plates Leg full sleeves Swipe um neck to go the other way. No, yeah full job stopping. Oh my god. So you want to hear more? Let's hear more. Yeah, what is it?

It's it's just my girls. It's uh, probably around 350 When they're here when they're lying around or doing what they're doing. I try to grab photos They love it. They they're little superstars. Some of these girls have 20 000 followers on facebook You know, they've got guys sending them money from all overseas like God, I used to own nightclubs in Australia. Some of the stuff that went on in those nightclubs I know these Thai girls would never do that. I used to screw girls for a drink card in the key ring You know, at least the ones here are smart enough to actually ask for cash Now I charge them $15 a week that the money is not important

It's just the fact that I know that if they're serious about me looking after them They can pay me that $15 a week, which is 500 bar 500 bar a week and for that I look after them They have my number. They can call me whenever something goes wrong whenever they get locked up. They can call me I'll go bar them out of the police station Uh, I choose them. They don't choose me, but I'd rather Look after them. No, they're safe Then be out there Be out there all alone. Do this guy's fucking face, man. He looks like

A goddamn bulldog That's that's been run through the gutter He's got what they call women a butter face like his body's all yoked up, but his face is just a rag, dude Yeah, and he's got a lot of fucking can we say his name? Is it is he tim sharky? Yeah Yeah, so it's tim sharky.com if you want to see this absolute lunatic He's an animal and he's got pictures of him with these tiny little tiger. Do you see? Yeah, that's who he's who that's who he's pimping Yeah, I know and they're like little spinners as patty stanger would say and they're It's her on her knees and like leaning into him standing this is exactly what i'm looking at right now by the way

Oh, look at that bulldog. You see what his neck tattoo says job stopper. It says army of one Someone doesn't look at that grill, dude Jesus, what do you think his childhood was like? I don't know man. So he charges he charges these hoes 15 bucks a week. It's like five million dollars in thailand, right? Um god only america's good in canada look at this. How girl how old is she in the eastern world god damn And that's he has 350 girls he says It's like every woman in thailand a prostitute. That's what it sounds like But here's the thing i gotta give this guy credit

I could listen to him talk it like this for a fucking six hours Because he's such a nut. Yeah, of course. I want to listen to people Who have crazy life choices and philosophies for days. Yeah, we should call him. Let's get him on the show No, he'd be like I heard what you said Because he's australian Good. I might I might Say that like a fucking bulldog. Oh, yeah, he's a criminal. Maybe we shouldn't have him on the show Yeah, I won't call him. I'll fucking smash your head in might come to thailand, right?

You want to hear more of him? Of course. I'm really fast. He has a lot to say Do I have heaps of sex uh once or twice a day? I think that's normal, isn't it? For me Pussy sex is good, you know, once you start getting sticking it up an ass or getting up the ass, you know You're getting into some pretty dangerous territory there. I just like to fuck. Yeah. I don't I don't like getting all technical You know, I wish I could actually come home and just lay down and watch tv and have a night off. Believe me. I try I try but that god damn evil dick He says get out there get out there go have a look

Well, everyone can relate to that. I mean this guy's not he's not Misleading you taking down any taking down any wrong path with that No, and he's he's telling you he was very clearly that he likes pussy sex Yeah, that was an interesting distinction to make Why do you think uh, I mean as thailand is butt sex just the norm and then vaginal is the outlier? I don't know. I'm not sure Yeah, why why the distinction maybe because he's such a sexual deviant Because he's a he's a pimp and he has 350 prostitutes. They're like you're so over regular vaginal sex. You must be

Oh, sure. Sure. Sure. Just annually destroying them. Yeah, but he's just like no, I like pussy sex And I listen Evil dick he tells me what to do Music Am I still taking steroids? Yes, so and I'll probably keep taking them to the to the day I die because The rumors about steroids and sex. Well, there's a misconception that steroids make you dick shrink and they don't

They make your balls shrink. Yeah, no one thinks that makes your dick shrink stupid. You heard the wrong rumor In australia, we do everything opposite He's a dumb dumb this guy. What are you doing? What are you doing? I want to clean my nose and I got a boogie on my hand But you're wiping it where now? No, don't do not on the floor. The dog's gonna eat it Where do you put? On a post-it that's not that's not why I bought you post-its, babe to wipe your boogers on them But what do you want me to do do what everyone else does roll?

And then just throw I would have done that you just stopped me from throwing it Yeah, but you're because you were throwing the whole thing you had to roll it first Oh, so you were just making sure I rolled it first because it that disintegrates the booger. Yeah Okay, what are you new? I want to hear him talk about it. Just put it in your mouth Put it in your beard Put that booger in your beard, you know, I do like though. I really respect about this. This is what I like about So-called Bad guys in the world. I like when he says like, um, yeah, of course I do steroids every day

I love that. I like that too because I think he's right. Uh, I saw some documentary on steroids. It's not his villainous thing like So what if you keep using them? They're really I don't from what I understand. It's a hormone, correct Yeah, no, you're wrong. Whatever your line of thinking is all wrong. I meant that he's admitted to it Use isn't that bad. No. No, that's a horrible thing you say it shrinks your testes. What are you talking about? No, I'm heard that you have no idea Long-term hormone use is fine. What do you think birth control pills are? It's not the same thing at all. It's not the same thing at all. It's exactly the same thing. It's not the same thing at all

Jesus christ I should just mute you for the rest of the show I can stupidity you're stealing. You can take heroin for a long time. We'll make your balls shrink But what you've got to do is you've got to take a there's a tablet called proviron I take 100 milligram a day because what happens is when you put testosterone into your body your balls get lazy Your body gets lazy and it says well, I don't have to make it anymore because there's enough in here So um, so eventually they they will shrink up, but if you take proviron You get a double whack. So I'm walking around with a boner most of the day

Right as a kid my life was shit. I come from the streets. I grew up on the street It was a pretty crappy life to start off with but I never gave up because I knew something good was gonna happen You know, I got locked up. They chuck me in jail here and I stabbed the guy stabbed to go on a beachy He hit one of my girls and uh, I went originally I just went to talk to him But he was he was an ass So I probably shouldn't have but I stuck a knife in him and I ended up going to doing a little stretch here But you know what you put me in a situation and and I just adjust. I adjust straight away. I didn't cry. I didn't Bitch and moan. I just done what I had to do. I survived and I think that's coming from where I come from

You have this survival mode and it doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter what you're doing You'll adjust you'll adjust and and you'll survive. You'll survive because that's what that's what I've done My whole life is just survive Well, it's not the problem. I mean if he's in survival mode, I think that's why he sees women as Pussies Understand like he can't he can't move past pussies to oh love this person's a full human No, he's not gonna do love loves said goodbye a long time ago Poor guy knife will bad for him. Why?

He had a hard life. You heard him Yeah, I know because I mean he's a survivor. He just told you he stabbed that guy and he did a little time So what I give him a hug now. You do. Do you mind if I hug him? I think it could be problematic You might he might hit you with his 24 hour a day boner He was talking about that's because he's on seven doses of testosterone Which obviously according to doctors to grow over here, not a fucking problem I saw a documentary on steroid use and they were like really ultimately. What's the fucking ultimately? Ultimately, you don't know shit. What do you think about? I have a phd

in steroid Ecology, I know this stuff Being in potato is the first time in my life. I've actually I felt free I come from a place called the gold coast in Australia been there fake central, you know I was trying so hard trying so hard to fit in trying so hard to Be someone that I really wasn't And that's really when when my life got to this point if you're always worrying about what other people are gonna think about you You're gonna miss life

You're gonna miss life. You've got to give it up. You've just got to be happy and try and make yourself happy Who gives a shit what people think about me? I don't really care Wow, ultimately a great message. Why don't you have him on your uh, you know philosophy conversation This guy is uh, he's like Oprah He is super soul sundae with the crazy guy with the boner all day But isn't that ultimately the same message that super soul sundae's about uh every spiritual teacher? Yeah, that's part of it for sure. Just go go do what you want to do. Just do you bro. Yeah, don't worry about fucking hoes I bought the butt sex

sex He's got to be an animal. He's saying I was living this bullshit life in Australia What my heart told me was go be a pimp in thailand And that's what i'm doing and that's why i'm so happy live on the dream But I mean isn't that no, it's the same thing that did you think he listens to tony robbins a lot? Maybe or maybe dire yonla yonla van sanft fixed his life and now he's a pimp. What are you? Are you pampin? Every day You gotta do you boo

boo boo boo Speaking of just due to have flavor who? pursued their fucking calling calling in life last week we um We play this it's it's a you know, it's a clip that's been around for a while, but it's new to the show Uh, this very natural Um mc

You just smile in the place with a slum based in the age of a pace A bit any in the place safe to be ecstasy Safe to be with a base in your face with the bitches in the place Rock in the place safe to be ecstasy as you see That is fucking me So he obviously has a lot of uh skill Clearly and then just now you were taking a shit. Yeah, and you sent me this clip of

Basically this shows you what what production can do to even the Even the the beginners out there. Um, somebody was able dj smile was This was chopped up by uh, gareth Kitchener and he made this that that awfulness. You just heard into a song Rock in the place I think they have like a thousand of him Like there's everyone's made a dj smile the remix Because of how obviously amazing he is

But it isn't that amazing that you're right just some you throw the right beat under there and nonsense becomes Sensible like that's how people have music. That's how miley cyrus has a career right now Like you take somebody that has nothing and then you add stuff to it and now they've got something By the way, one of the most amazing most proud things i've ever Moments i've had in my career Is um like two days after My album was out when it was like number one on comedy itunes. I got an email from the From the record company

That said, um, yeah, the album was doing well Your number one in comedy overall like all music your number 150 And you're currently ahead of miley cyrus Wow That day Wow, can I tell you that I heard I was in like denver and they're like, oh, yeah, miley cyrus Miley cyrus tickets are on sale on craigslist for 75 cents 75 cents. Yeah, like they're they're basically done

Yeah, well the record companies and her daddy are pushing her out Like she's like i remember mtv did such a crazy push because it's the it's the record companies It's the industry pushing it on the public as opposed to the public Going getting behind a band, you know what i'm saying, you know what i'm saying. I know what you're saying Uh, so it's manufactured garbage and guess what people are fucking getting up to it getting wise to it Oh The thing that amazed me the most about the miley cyrus thing was I remember when like she was about to do this album

It's it's so funny to look at things from the perspective of the machine And like will i am you know from black eyed peas? He was he was on some show and he was like I feel like miley cyrus is about to shake the whole world like you know Yeah, what does he own the record? He was a producer on it and there you go And like to hear him talk about it and then like to not know I go. Why is he talking like that? And then they're like so you um produced like what x y and z on this album I was like, oh, he's just trying to he's hyping make money

Well, remember that dumb documentary that was the funniest thing the movement Miley colon the movement true story and we watched it in san francisco And basically they set her up with the biggest producers in hip hop every track is done by a different Essentially producer. Yeah, and she's just filler That's they weren't they were hoping to make an album that couldn't fail Yeah, the problem is is that that girl doesn't have a fucking soul or anything to say That was the best part though is that they kept showing her Saying nothing in other words. It was like

Yeah Miley, what do you think of? She's like my whole thing is like just you know, like I have a message and they're like, what is it? Yeah, go just Like I I feel like just go for it. You know, it's like What's the message? Yeah, what is what are you saying and her whole thing was like and then I was like I'm gonna cut my hair and then I cut my hair and I was like Oh my god, I cut my hair That's her movement is cutting her hair

And like sticking her tongue out. I'm like, this is fucking garbage. It's so ridiculous. What a fucking crap It's so it's so sad that that's that's what the youth culture it has. This is their Their holy shit person Goes into a bigger plan What's the plan? I'm always like it's a part of the movement. This all has to be a movement We all have to be like an army moving at one time Yeah, all of our moves have to be so perfect Nothing can be off everything has to feel new and creative and like pushing the boundaries

Nothing can ever not seem genuine I Boundary for me the movement needs to be something bigger than just a record For me a movement is something that it's brown represents like taking over the world Represents taking over the world with her music. She's gonna take the she's gonna take over with her stupid message it's like just go like, you know, like just uh, I feel like She's doing stuff like I'm gonna You know

And the best part is that because her daddy is is a successful musician and she has so much money behind her The whole thing is like Literally her going and I'm gonna wear this vintage Versace Because my this is like vintage and then her whole thing is like and then I'm gonna build a tongue I'm gonna slide down the tongue and then I'm gonna build what's crazy Like what do you is that they do like when she says I'm gonna wear this vintage Versace They treat that choice as if that's art a bold amazing artistic choice Yeah, and and because she comes from such privilege. It's such bullshit

You know sound like the guys in nirvana. They fucking sat in a garage. They were shitty scumbag Loser teenage poor kid like they sat in a garage and they made music That's how music or your favorite rap, right? Those are kids that picked up shit on the streets and made fucking turntables out of garbage and you know, that's how Art is made not like and then my daddy's gonna buy me a teddy bear. I'm gonna come out of teddy bear on state It makes me crazy. Yeah, I just agree with you. I think this is I want to hear one of her like prolific Yeah

statements Just you know when I'm saying a movement like that's the only way that I know how to describe what I'm doing Because it's not a transition like a big brown smelly Big smelly one people always want to call it a transition. It's not a transition. I'm the same human I've got the same heart. I did five years ago Everything about me the same same skin same human. So it's not a transition. It's it's a movement a brown move a big Bowel I've never been one that's tried to please anybody but with this record, there's a lot of pressure because I hadn't had a record out in two years

Doing all my album packaging right now. We're doing a gorgeous wing for our next look See I've done all my album packaging. It's all about the the packaging marketing. Yeah, that's the highlight right there That's all she cares about is this called bangers and it's like so hot You want to hear fucking music? I got music for you. Your mother fuckers This frail's got me This is better than miley fire I can see I'm the fucking man

I fucking love it amazing amazing Um dj smile man. He's always he's always bringing he's always bringing the heat Uh, it's not great. You can just treat anything and make it sound People do that with us right when they make those songs like ghost crew can make our nonsense sound amazing Oh ghost crews the fucking By the way, we got a lot and I mean a lot of fucking emails um over the last shit

Six seven days from the last few episodes um One of the themes that we got in our email Also was something that I was Uh was brought to my attention in person a lot This weekend. Um, I was in san antonio. By the way, thank you so much to everyone in san antonio that came to the shows I had a great how about lol

um This uh, they really were great and oh by the way, we want to say thank you. Uh, there's a lovely couple that came to I'll I'll I'll um So ridiculous Really fun club This is something so stupid. I mean no fans, you know, but Let's just give us some dignity. Jesus fuck. Yeah

Um, so anyways this oh, so but we want to say thank you. I got my uh, tom ciger a butthole mirror And how about that lovely crocheted scarf? Wonderful. I absolutely adore it. I wish I knew their names Oh, that's probably written down somewhere on something because I always say I forget names And then they were like here's my name and then I already forgot it And uh, thanks to enzo and you know who you are cretin barrel couple I I used uh, I used the pizza cutter. They gave us. Oh, I didn't even see what was in the other the last Box remember they gave us something in hermosa. Yeah, I'm trying to remember right now You know what it is, you know, I can't remember off hand. Yeah, I do know what it is. I just can't remember right

Okay, um, so anyways Uh, so anyways, this was brought to my attention in person in san antonio a few times And then we're getting multiple emails about it and I'll read you one of them here Hey, mommies, I'd argue that smack talk Which is the the rapper that has you know, I'm saying counter Is not not in capital letters that you know, I'm saying champ. Oh, huh Is this strictly a quantity over quality game? I say fuck that Smack talk's 14 minute rant is 14 minutes too fucking long that guy is boring

Okay, look the pimp is actually dropping some real applicable knowledge As well with a velveteen style And the dude talking uh about shug giving him his first job. That's amazing. Shit. That was deep from his heart You know I'm saying that's like he's choking back tears of gratitude. You know I'm saying that's from grant Um, he does have a point because it is quality over quantity sometimes Then we get this uh, yeah, oh, I know what you're saying. Um, I get this, uh, you know, I'm saying I get this, uh Hold on, uh, you know, I'm saying first of all

Yes, we realized auntie fee fee dropped a couple, you know what I'm saying Oh, yeah, we should point that people were all like, how did you miss those? We didn't miss those guys We were holding our fucking mouths shut Because sometimes when god drops, you know what I'm saying in your laps, you know what I'm saying You can't look the gift horse in the you know what I'm saying mouth. You got to let it run its course. Yeah I mean we and we also we weren't going to You know mock auntie fee fee never the auntie of course not and we weren't going to um, you know, no no No, no, we we had to love her. We have mad respect. Yeah, we have to respect

The she's everybody's auntie. You can't just make fun of your auntie So That one might be my favorite the shug night one. Well, let me read you this other. Yeah, sure. This one's gonna blow your mind Okay, um Blow my mind dearest mommies It appears that we have run into a snag Oh for determining that you know what I'm saying in parentheses k w is champion

I think can you believe we have a show Can you believe we have a show dedicated to this? It's so stupid. Um I I think it may be The same people the same issue people run into when debating who's the fastest person alive There are multiple events like the 100 meter 200 meter format and different runners are better at different distances Yeah, perhaps the best way to decide who the champ is Would be to create a k w is factor Which is basically an average of you know what i'm saying per second

First you do the you know what i'm saying count for the whole clip and then divide that number By the length of the clip in seconds So If you have 70 you know what i'm saying in a clip that is two minutes and 15 seconds long You would divide 70 by 135 which gives us a know what i'm saying factor of zero point five one eight That is more than half a know what i'm saying for every second of that the pimp Somebody's way smarter than you or me and someone else needs to do this map. He's not he's not done. Oh, oh Anyway, apologies if the math is in any way boring and or burdensome if it would help

I would like to volunteer my services To be Then know what i'm saying counter. I like all I need are the links to the clips within a day I could tally a full know what i'm saying factor for each clap And assist in keeping an overall know what i'm saying championship rating just an idea Well, mike You're hired We will be sending you all the you know what i'm saying clips

And you will be in charge I'm crying i'm crying because I love Do you realize that both of those emails are super pertinent because he's right He's so right the problem with the kwis challenge is that we haven't really put up Uh the stakes like we haven't delineated What makes a good you know what i'm saying and they're right I feel like we kind of gloss over in a lot of ways and again we're talking about In the a know what i'm saying is per second

That kenyan martin wasn't given the the full respect he deserves It just i mean didn't get away, you know what i'm saying they made a I'm a player at the end. It was a questionable travel call. You know i'm saying it didn't go our way And they made a decent play. You know i'm saying i had a good look and i'm seeing how the better look You know what i'm saying so it was just I'm saying they made a they made one more plays and we did man No one liked the game got out of control. I'm saying they came out with a lot of ends of which we knew That was gonna do i'm saying we fall back. We took the league, you know what i'm saying, but they um

Ultimate i'm saying they got the w and we did i mean you had a terrific game offensively What was the atmosphere out there like he's not even talking to full minute There's a guy asking him questions and he still gets in remarkable none of you know, i'm saying Return of iverson You know, it's gonna be very emotional. You know i'm saying they Not one another player to come in here and get more attention or love than they were getting I'm saying so they go come out like even quick ones that he sneaks by you know what i'm saying There's little sneaky ones, but can anyone ever will anyone ever truly top?

My first experience right Well, I took it to the rose man. I took the hose to the streets man I said, you know, I was a mostly into that shitty shaking man. You know i'm saying, you know He i mean he might be the all-time. So we'll send you these links michael and uh If you could please if you could please put this on your urgent board We kind of really need i mean i know you're a physics guy at nasa But could you take your valuable time your clock time now? Here's the interesting part of know what i'm saying I definitely think the criterion should be

Uh counts per second. Yeah, is that what he said? So the mathematical side? That's the quantitative side the qualitative side Being context now for instance in this one. We have a professional athlete in the previous one. I'm sorry. Yes Not the pimp one So I feel like a lot of you know, i'm saying in a professional context Also counts for more, you know what i'm saying points Oh, you understand because the you're raising the value of you know what i'm saying right because of the world that he's You know i'm saying speaking it Because it's almost harder to get that many, you know, i'm saying in a professional setting

Um, so I give that guy what's his name the the athlete kenyan martin kenyan martin like mad points for that You know i'm saying yeah, whereas the shook knight guy that's in the context It's acceptable to say a lot of you know i'm saying got you got you it's almost like You know camouflaged in there, but I do like the shook knight one personally. That's my favorite one. How about you know what i'm saying? skinhead rob That's out the homeboy mitch. You know what i'm saying? It's big stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you know what i'm saying mutual homie good motherfucker right there. You know what i'm saying? So you know what i'm saying? He's not gonna fuck with the real you know what i'm saying? So

We'll recognize real game recognize game. You know what i'm saying? Ain't no bosses and no fakes over here. You know what i'm saying? It's all Real dealing i'm saying i was sure we're talking about Take it for it's worth it. I mean we're talking in like 10 seconds Ted's like now here's the different category of you know i'm saying the nonsensical You know what i'm saying is that him that's this is nonsensical But this is in the world of you know i'm saying that are acceptable because he's talking about like music and stuff like But I don't know what the fuck he's saying right

There's the you know what i'm saying where you don't know what he's saying and you don't know what he means That's a whole new level of you know, that's true. I didn't think about that That's a good point somebody said That I got somebody sent us a clip here Where is it about um, you know what i'm saying? This is really speaking to you Did I tell you that when I was in some town last time?

I kept saying you know what i'm saying on stage just as a as a shout out to the mommies in the audience And I saw a table of black women Like just dying and being like no she's gonna say it again She did not just say that again like really obviously I don't know if they're podcast fans, but they they picked up on the fact that I was saying it too much for a white girl They said there's an alternative here. We got this email From keaton about this jim jones the rapper

Saying you smell me as an alternative You know i'm saying and they said he says it a lot. Okay, so let's see if this falls You feel me as another one right feel me. You feel me. They say he says smell. There's nothing that can be fed egos from clashing You understand I tell you the game is about My cheese mo who's the macho provado? smell me oh The cameras the glitz the jewelry the diamonds

It's about who's the biggest understand Once you get that bullet in the pot you dealing with niggas from the ghetto He definitely just said you know Understand and you smell me. So he gave you three different ones just in the first eight seconds You dig niggas that never and you dig that's another one. Jesus. I like that. He's spreading out the same It's a to ultimately the same thing. He just gave you four different ways

Well, this is also in the variety of the kwis But could you give him the kwis? Banner could you give him the trophy if he's really giving you alternate? This is another category. Yeah, this is all within the plumage Of the peacocks tail. You understand. I mean different feather. I have to say as a board member Of this organization. I don't know if I feel comfortable Allowing him to enter the race with all these alternate Versions of

You know, I mean you dig and you understand and you smell me are not the same Wait a minute, but well, let's back it up because we did allow you know As part of the count. It was a separate count. It was a separate count It was you know, I'm saying and then you knows and we didn't we didn't crown the you knows into you know I'm saying and also, you know is kind of a sub of it like it's it's half of you know what I'm saying Yeah, it's not the same. Okay. So how about a subcategory for a mathematician? A subcategory dedicated to variants of Oh to variants. Yeah, and this is a variant karagore. What's great is he's giving you all the variants right now. Yeah

Had nothing smell me Mental and the worst ones is the niggas from the ghetto that was pussy when they came up And when they got a little bit of money, they all of a sudden turned hard rock. You understand Right there. He gave you a smell me and you understand variants shit like that It ain't no way to prevent it that shit can go on Niggas smell me. It's like niggas that come up in the hood and get punked all their life and they turn into a cop And they start punkin niggas and you like oh, you must have been a faggot when you came up Damn smell me. You had them in a cocksucker to turn into a cop and trying to

Highside on us you did and that's what niggas be in the game like these niggas been faggots coming up in the hood Ain't been outside smell me geez homosexuality linked to Disloyalty I yeah, I mean I just prefer to focus on The digs smell me's understand. So, you know, I'm saying and not the other messages um, I just feel like

He's just giving you so many variants It's really really something Talk that hood shit, but they don't be there I've been through a lot of places in America and I'm talking about the hoods Smell me niggas know me The hood know me you did There you go again smell me you dig dig. Yeah, really interesting really interesting All right, I wonder if smell me is you know, what is that from like you smell what I'm saying? Yeah, smell me smell me

Yeah, interesting. Yeah interesting Um, huh. Well so much to think about it's a lot to it's a lot to consider. Um Did you have something uh to share? Yeah, yeah, absolutely tom. I'm glad you brought this up So yesterday I was walking our thief uh middle of the day in our nice suburban neighborhood And I'm walking out of our house and I I see a gentleman parked in front of our neighbor's home And I just glance inside the car because that's not usual for dudes to be sitting in their cars Especially in our cul-de-sac. We have a nice safe little, you know thing and I I look and it's an older gentleman

um I look and he he has his penis out And he's whacking it into an empty pinkberry container Yeah Yeah, and he looked like George Carlin And he has a gray ponytail And uh, so now I know because I listened to Dan Savage and he says that public masterbaters the whole Point is they want to shock you. That's the charge they get from doing that. Oh my god. So then they get off

Yeah, so I knew that going into it So, you know, first I was shocked and then I was like, oh don't let him see your shock And so I started laughing instead and pointing and that Diffuses the situation. You saw his hand cranking. Yeah, he had his I saw the head of his penis and it was like he was Aiming it into the pinkberry cup Like a yogurt cup. I say pinkberry, but I it was I just know because that's my He definitely could not have been peeing or anything, right? It was clearly masturbated. Oh, no, I think he was masturbating But you say I think wait a minute now that you say it. What if he was just urinating into it? I think he was stroking it though

Gosh now, I don't know. I just saw a man's penis out. I assumed he was masturbating. Oh I mean, I don't want to look too long. I just saw the head out and god now that I think about it Well, anyways, point of story. I pointed and I laughed I took a few steps and then I took a photograph of him and I let him know that I took a photograph of him And then he drove away and then he got on his phone pretended to make a phone call drove away But I have his license plate number and I told the neighbor whose house it was in front of and they filed a police report Why don't you post that photo? I'd love to Is that legal? Like can I get somebody in trouble?

Well, I get in trouble rather not him. Fuck him. I don't know. How could you get in trouble for what? I don't know. Is there something about posting someone's private? Is that private someone's license plate? Yeah, but you saw him you said jerking off on the well That's the thing is that now I'm like, gosh, should I see him jerking in or did I just see a man holding his penis? I feel like you were really sure yesterday that it was jerk off Well, I think I've blocked it out since you know what I mean, you know what I'm saying You smell me. I smell you. I dig. I think it was understand. I know what you're saying. Yeah, I smell it So now but are you sure or not sure?

Now what the okay now? Honestly, I'm like, I don't know if I saw a guy jerking it Okay, go ahead. What happened nothing. I was just checking something on our levels. I'm pretty sure I saw him jerking it I'm pretty sure But I don't like I don't fucking I didn't stand and stare at him Right. I was so shocked to see a man's penis out and brought daylight and and put it into a cup I know but now on in retrospect. Oh, fuck. Maybe he was just I don't know Yeah, I just didn't I didn't stick around to see him Stroke in it. I feel like he jerked though because I feel like I saw some movement down there. Really. Yeah

Yeah, I mean, it's an awkward. Here's the thing is that it's not somebody that lives on our street So it's an and we live on a dead end street. So it's like for him to pull down the street Um and like we live close to businesses. Yeah, he could have gone to the gas station. Yeah, there's so many places Yeah, there's so many places you could stop. It's not it's not like this isn't the side of a highway Where you're like, I gotta take a leak and I there's nowhere to pee That's why it doesn't make sense to pee there and also in that type of cup It's not going to hold that much urine. So if you have to piss really badly You would you would spill you would fill up that cup is what i'm saying. Well

Yeah, at any rate, it was pretty shocking. No, you're right. No, you're right. I'm not contesting that so It was horrifying on that. It's always a shock to see a guy whacking it in public. It's not my favorite thing to see So you uh, you told our neighbor's yeah kid. Yeah, it was four years old. I thought that was pretty young You tell him what was going on Um They filed a police report. So we'll see. I mean, I'm just concerned because there are kids on this block And if that you don't want some kid to roll up seeing what I saw. Oh, no, that's the worst part of it And it's an older man, right? He looked like george carlin. Well, I thought for sure

I'm like, oh, is that george carlin masturbating in front of our house? Wow. Yeah Well, you know, there you go. I've seen so many guys masturbate I think in any case, it's definitely one of those like Kind of moments, right? Oh my gosh. Yeah, definitely one of those. Yeah Um, also in brown talk this week. I had a relief Here's what happened on saturday. I had a chipotle chipotle A bowl salad bowl and then later that night I had like a vegan chicken cashew chicken thing And I woke up at one in the morning and I just took a hot dump

And I don't know Excuse me. I don't normally do that And my guts have been fucked up ever since and I was all achy yesterday So I think I might have a variant like a stomach flu or something. I don't know You had like shit cramps and stuff. I have them still like I have I have like fart cramps and stuff Yeah, but the exciting part is that I got to use your one wipe charlie's. What do you think? Amazing Really neat. What a great product. They're like a breath mint for your butthole. Yeah

Because they give you the uh, they give you the uh Yeah, I really enjoyed that. That cool mint in your asshole Yeah, and also it cuts it cuts down on my um shower time because I usually just shit and run in the shower because the clean up is So hideous But with the one wipes, I feel like I don't have to shower every time I brown That's nice. That should be their selling point. You don't have to shower every time you brown Well, we got um in in that vein by the way You held my butt cheeks

Closed. Mm-hmm. Why did you do that? Well this morning We were waking up and I sensed that you were pushing a fart And so to preemptively stop it. I I pushed your cheeks together. I squeezed them together so that you could Did that work For a moment. Yeah, did I scare you? I didn't like it But it stopped you from farting in bed for a moment and then I turned and then I farted The part that I didn't like is that you were facing the dog and me and you were gonna fart on both of us

Which is not cool Why do you fart on your son and me? Teach you guys a lesson Let you guys know what time it is Funny it sounds like theos philosophy I wonder where sound presents gets it from an instructional video for families with two-year-olds ready to number two Okay, that's for two-year-olds. Yeah, that was somebody's Uh

Joke version that was horrible. Oh, it was scary. Jesus christ um I wish we had uh the real version of that because that seemed like that could be a lot of fun Yeah, especially for this house Last night we we got hooked on a brand new BBC series tommy Oh, yeah, we um, we got hooked on Well, here's the thing. This was really clever sneaky

deceptive and manipulative of PBS and that is If you set is this the rowing sound presents the poop song Sorry, this is the real instructional video for families with two-year-olds ready to do number two I feel it I feel it I feel I know what to do when I'm about to poo. All right, I go to the party pull my underwear down

Then I sit and wait Sit and wait That's not right. What do you mean? It's sit push as hard as you can Scream and push grab the side of the bowl. Yeah, sweat bleed bleed bleed bleed push sweat bleed more Well, and what about bring your iPad into the toilet? There's no mark mention of that doesn't even talk about magazines in the song Bring your iPhone in there play Candy Crush Make some phone calls fucking bullshit. Never mind. Um, wait a minute. What we didn't even talk about what today is What the day we're recording this today? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but but we'll talk about the show first

Okay, go ahead. So So anyways, here's the deceptive Very sneaky thing that ultimately benefited us because we enjoyed it, but it's still sneaky and that is That if you went to if you're a Downton daddy and you went to record Downton Abbey You don't you you looked it up and then you recorded what's called master masterpiece Master Bates classic, right? So under that umbrella

That's how that's how you had to record Downton you you put like season pass, you know record all the episodes They Then put their new show under the same umbrella. So within masterbate classic they're I'm laura linney and i'm going to tell you how to masterbate They released this new show uh, self-ridge Whatever whatever it's called

Selfridges or mr. Selfridge. Yeah, mr. Selfridge. It's a hard name. Jeremy. Jeremy Piven is mr. Selfridge and it's the story of Um, this mr. Selfridge guy masterbates masterbates in his car in his car in London in early 1900s Which is a really neat story, but anyways, there's a lot of um, you know, it's kind of like the upper class lower class thing Yeah, just in a different setting instead of it instead of out in Downton. It's um, it's in London and it's This this American Big personality guy opening a department store in London, but it's you know, it's great. Well written Good characters. Yeah, masterbating in every scene

There's always somebody jerking off which is always like it adds it raises the stakes of each scene Is this guy gonna come is she gonna come? Is that family that's masturbating together? I don't think that's part of it. Tom. Yeah, that's the whole show you called me this weekend And you laughed so hard. Why don't you tell our audience? Why don't you tell the listeners what you were laughing so hard? Well, I was on stage and I was um I was just riffing about like a guy telling a like a story like when people when you don't want to hear somebody's story

Behind a no instead of them telling you no Yeah, and they're like, uh, well the thing is and you're like just tell me no And I just kind of made up that the guy that a guy said Yeah, I can't because I I was masturbating with my son and um And then you know, I can't make it anymore Anyways, when I was on stage saying that it made me laugh really hard Which I never really laugh hard on stage like while I'm saying something And then afterwards I was telling you

That like you never hear somebody say like I was jerking off with my son or like me and my dad jerk off together And then I was thinking about like I was telling you like picture your friend like picture a good friend of yours Who you know? Well and their their dad and then picture them masturbating together Like as a form of bonding And then we started talking about how whole families could masturbate together And um, how horrific that is, but it's also It's funny to hear somebody say like, you know, hey, did you

How was your vacation with the family? Was it good? And you're like, yeah We went we have a cabin and we went up there and we just we all masturbated together Yeah, me and dad we took out we took out the boat And we were fishing and then we masturbated together. Well, I like the idea too of the Of somebody being like, what's the big deal? Yeah, because like me and my dad like the same stuff You know, so like we both like fishing We both like, you know

Campfires and we both like to masturbate together as like a form of bonding. We like to Like sometimes we race, but it's really just about spending time together I don't think there's anything more troubling than a family that masturbates together. Yeah, especially imagine if If it's not really really disturbing, it's not just father and son though. Yeah mom shows up Sisters grandmother, you know, like it's it's the whole family And they all they sit in a big circle and everybody masturbates Yeah

Can you picture your family doing it? No, no, Jane Maria your mom top dog Top dog, maybe I could see they could be funny men masturbating is funnier than definitely the limit. Yeah It's so frantic and sad, but like what about like, um Daughter and like what about you and your father masturbating? Are you done here? What is wrong with you? What have you guys Did that instead of having lunch like on the sunday. All right. I'm gonna throw up now You went to the beach you love the beach you face the ocean you masturbate

Your dad is next to you masturbating and you both go Oh man, I really picture you and top dog going to hotels together Going to main Get some lobster tail after this buddy. Let's get a bread ball 20 22 years ago more than 21 years ago today 21 years ago today after the kgb Let you out of

the basement seller That they tortured you in endlessly relentlessly for years You escaped through a tunnel you spent time in africa you stole a boat And you arrived In this country It's a good song You still have a heavy accent, but you're here now

Through the farts and through the brown. This is your anniversary I love it Ah Do they play this in the ceremony? Yes So, yeah 21 years ago today. Yeah, I became an american citizen. Wow. Thank you Did you guys Masturbated the ceremony together Yep, me and my uncle who looks like elin the generous

We got sworn in together And it was uh It was downtown la and this huge auditorium Yeah, and after they swear you during the ceremony. Sorry they played this song Is it like it's everybody excited while it's oh people are you're just so happy that you made it He's right like people climb Over walls and in sewers to come here and yeah And then there's like hot dog stands outside the auditorium

So like you have a hot dog and they give you a little flag to wave. It's so much fun Oh, sorry. So you wave your flags at this part. They give you hot dogs. Do you wave hot dogs too? Hot dogs after the ceremony you do forget that like for some like in your case You weren't coming from somewhere shitty, but for someone that come like well my parents Come from like really shitty places though and they they get their citizenship It's like an amazing moment for them. It was for me when I was only 17 But you came from Detroit Same difference is a third world kind of uh

Yeah, it's pretty awesome It made my life way easier. You get emotional that day Yeah, it's very emotional. My parents are very patriotic So like it was very important for us to become citizens My parent my dad swore it got sworn in like a little before me. We all applied as a family when we could Yeah, he got he got his citizenship before you. I want to say yeah He got sworn in right before me and then like a month later. I did or was he super stoked. Yeah Oh, I gotta take this

All right. Oh look at you and Today This song who who doesn't like this Neil Diamond? Um the chinese This is such a funny silly song So right here you're eating your hot dog. You got a flag wrapped around your pinky and you're masturbating with your other hand

My whole family. Yeah, we all became citizens that year It was it was a very good year and at the ceremony The guy that swore us in because it was april fool's day at the end. He was like, um, just kidding. It's april fool's day Like he tried to make a dumb joke of it and nobody laughed We were like, this is like people really struggle to get here douchebag guys just finished crying and he's Yeah, could you not? You're not joking about our country. What is april fool?

Let me explain you the history of that. Yeah, so i'm a proud american. Are you? Uh, yeah, I was born here. I'm not like you. You're never gonna be american Babe, that's so rude. I've taken vows to this country. Have you taken vows? Don't need to born here I love this dog. I'm gonna squeeze him until he fucking dies tommy Look at him. Look. Look. Look. I'm squeezing him. Please. Look at me. I'm squeezing. He wants out And then he resorts to licking every time I do that. He's um, what he comes in my lap He lets me hug him for two minutes and then it's down you

Hey, we have um, I gotta say I'm really happy since we have um Become part of been swinging fucking new people. It's always fun Um, we're like claring cliff underwood Yeah, but in the house of farts, but being with atc. They've just been so so cool. Yes All things comedy is our is our home. It's our base. It's our network. It's where we masturbate Yep, and we have a lot of friends that jerk off with us there and um, no, it really is a cool like Family to be a part of I like it. It is. It's a great. It actually has been probably one of the most productive relationships. We've

Yeah, and um, there is Somebody who you may or may not know but a really funny comic named jackie kation. You know jackie. Love jackie kation Yes, well the dork the dork forest. That's right. And she has um, a new album It's uh, this will make an excellent horcrux Oh, cool. Yeah, did I say that right a horcrux? Yeah, that's from um from hogwarts. That's or harry potter well, horcrux

She's really fucking funny. She's very funny and if you like she's very clean Um, and she's kind of like her whole thing is she's kind of nerdy and she celebrates her nerdiness She does but she's smart and like she she's a really good Comic just a really good joke. Fantastic comic. Yeah. So, um, if you love supporting good comedy and good comics We urge you to check out kations new album. This will make an excellent horcrux. It's on Itunes and support her. She's she's awesome. Fantastic. Yeah, I love jackie and she's been around For a minute. She's not a fucking newbie. You know what I'm saying?

Right and one of the reason too, it's not just that she's a great comic, but she's part of our atc family She's part of so we like to look horcrux. I'm gonna look it up on harry potter. There's a harry potter wiki page. Did you know that? Um, I I'm not surprised Not surprised at all. Okay of a horcrux Horcrux is a powerful object in which a dark wizard or witch has Hidden a fragment of his or her soul for the purpose of attaining immortality. Oh, yeah That's funny That's silly. Hey, he healy

Voldemort does those things, but we're not supposed to say his name out loud. All right jeans. Well, let's go have brekkie together You got it. Um, support your application. Thanks for listening to Your mom's house. I'm gonna squeeze your butt cheeks together so you can't fart for the rest of the day I hate when you do that. I don't care. I hate when you do that. That's why you get married Um So that's it. That's it pussy's pussy. Thank you for wearing your jeans We'll talk to you soon. Oh coming up next uh next episode. You'll get live Uh from san francisco

All right, uh, we love you. Bye guys So Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh