Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 225-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: May 28, 2014

Somewhere on some street that goes by the name Marquette, the dumbest person alive is walking around recording himself on his phone so that we may document stupidity in all its glory.  This episode is packed, but here's what you need to know: Top Dog AND OMG Maria BOTH have calls. Enjoy!

Let's do this. Mark, mark, mark, mark, mark, mark. That's, that's that. Showing you things you like. Trying to get engagement. Here's some photos from my life. My cat, my kids, some bacon. I'm hoping you'll share my stuff.

And tweet it to the world. If you help me grow my clout. I promise that I'll share yours. So connect with me. Let's have some fun. Let's show the world how this gets done. Let's get social, social, social media. Let's get social, social, social media.

Where we can spread the word. And grow our reach. And find our fans in their newsfeed. Let's get social, social, social media. Wow. Haunting. What do you think of that acoustic version? I love it.

It's like unplugged. MTV unplugged. That's awesome. That was amazing. That was amazing. Yeah, there's more. There's more. You know, we got to get to this show, you know what I'm saying?

So good. That was so good. Yeah. So let's see. It's Wednesday. Real quick, I'm in LA doing a cup. I'm doing that hot tub show in Silver Lake with Kristin Shaw. Tweet out the link.

And then the 11th of June. Is that the right? 11th? Yeah. Meltdown. If you're an LA resident, you've never been to the Meltdown show. It's a phenomenal show. June 11.

I also have some other shows that I'll be pulling up on my fucking calendar. June 5th through the 8th, I am doing Brea with Matt Folstron, your baby's father. And then the following weekend, I'm in San Jose. San Jose is easy with Denim on Denim, Jeff Tate. That's June 12th through 15th. And I round out the month June 26th through the 28th at Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, New York. Jeans, I know you got some big shows. Where are you going to be?

Massive June 6th, 9 p.m. Fun House of Portland, Oregon. One night only of my stand of comedies. I will not be there, but he'll be there in spirit. June 7th, 8 p.m. Rendezvous Theater in Seattle, Washington. Please go to christenacomedy.com to buy your tickets or at yourmomshousepodcast.com. And please support this new paradigm in an effort to stick it to the man and really create...

You know what it is? I'm sick of doing shows for people who don't get it. And I hate it when you guys come out to the club shows. And afterwards you're like, man, those people didn't get it. Or wouldn't it be great if it was all mommies? Well, this is the new paradigm I'm trying to start. Where I do it just for mommies. It's the way to go.

So please support this venture so I can continue on my journey of sticking it to the man. I love it. Yeah. July 3rd through 6th, the brand improvs together. And that's Toronto. We are doing Toronto Super Show. Super Show, yeah. Is it the 12th?

Yeah, July 12th. We're doing stand-up comedies and the mom cast. And one Super Show. Also on your momshousepodcast.com. Buy those tickets. Or at thomsgrove.com and christinacomedy.com. Yeah. July 12th, Toronto.

Toronto. And it's not at... It's not... It's important. A lot of people keep asking. It is not at the underground, the weed spot. It's at a... Here, I'll pull it up for you right now.

Yeah. It's like a movie theater that's been converted to a... It's in a theater setting. I'm looking at the link. Oh, here it is. The big picture cinema. There you go. 1035 Gerard Street, Toronto.

Toronto. Toronto. That's going to be super crazy. All right. That's awesome. Yeah. All right. Come and see us.

Please, Jeans. I guess smoke your pot before you come in. Yeah. You still smoke your pot. You still smoke your pot. Do what you need to do. Stay who you are, whoever you are. Hard fucking core.

That's right. Hard core, man. That's awesome. Let's see. There's a couple other things. Oh, yeah. We have... We've been trying to plug it as much as we can, but we have these amazing InGreasy shirts.

InGreasy. You can get them at yourmomshousepodcast.com. It has free shipping. They are the nicest, softest, most beautiful shirts we've ever designed. And they also have women's tees. So before we would just do a standard t-shirt, which I guess is a men's t-shirt. Now if you're a woman, you can get a shirt that's actually cut for women. They can go around your breasts instead of mashing them down.

There you go. So that's that. And also, if you go to yourmomshousepodcast.com and you go and you shop through our Amazon banner, it's a huge help to our show. Basically, you do the shopping you were going to do on Amazon, but you do it through our banner. We get a little kickback. InGreasy.

And then we... It helps out. So Father's Day is just around the corner. Are you going to go to Amazon through yourmomshousepodcast.com banner and are you going to buy something for Top Top? Yeah. What are you going to get him, you think, this year? Get him like baked beans.

I've played at baked beans. Oh, he loves that. Yeah. And I think we should get him the toilet paper that he loves, too. Like cloud. You know what we should do, dude? Yeah. Real talk.

Seriously, why don't we put him on the subscription for Amazon to get toilet paper, the kind he likes. That's a great idea. All year long. You can do that, guys. And an effort to further isolate ourselves that I never have to talk to anybody in the outside world. Tom and I have automated a lot of our household items.

For instance, toilet paper. We use a... Paper towels. Tide detergent, paper towels, the dishwasher. So I'm telling you, man, have that, put that on automation on Amazon subscriptions, comes in bulk. You get a discount. You do it like every three months, shit shows up at your door.

You don't have to talk to another human being. And that is the definition of happiness. Boom. You ready to do this shit? Oh my gosh. Let's fucking rock and roll. We got a great show for you right now. Let's do this.

What's up? It's your boy Joe Prick. I'm sitting here, you know what I'm saying? Walking down the aisle with my man, Geldy. You know what I'm saying? What's up? What's up, bro? What's up, bro?

What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro? What's up, bro?

What's up, bro? I'm just... Keep theеть real out here, normal. I'ma wait for this bus to pass by, bro. Okay. We're just walking down the street, you know what I'm saying? And I'll take care of some business. I can't tell you what it is exactly.

You know what I'm saying? But you know this, I keep my ice out at all times. I worry about it, cause if it needs streets, you know what I'm saying? Ain't nobody going to touch me. So... You know what I'm saying? Keep it real. This shit is big time.

Who is Lan results? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Pajitzi. Christina Pajitzi. Welcome to your mom's house.

Right now I don't know what you're saying, I don't know what you mean. Um... Was that a recording from your family Thanksgiving last year? Yeah. Yeah. And there's more and it makes less sense as it moves along. This kid, I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. I really don't.

I'm dying. You know what I'm saying? I hope he's cool. Who wrote this book? Just don't hit it off. You know what I'm saying? But anyway, you know what I'm saying? We keep it real on the ad.

Garden City all day. You know what I'm saying? I'm walking. I ain't got no car. You know what I'm saying? I'll just be walking. I'm a street nigga. We street niggas.

You got DUI. You can't drive. These guys are white guys. Really? Yeah. These are white guys walking down Marquette Ave. I guess... Where's that Milwaukee?

He's got his hat turned to the side and he's talking a big game. Talking shit? He's talking... Want to talk some shit? Yeah. This guy's talking shit all day. Yeah. Yeah.

I walked down to Ave. You know what I'm saying? Jesus Christ. DUI's. We all got DUI's. You know what I'm saying? We all have... Niggas like to look at our crew like we ain't got no licenses.

What's the name, bro? First of all, we street niggas. We're the only niggas you see out here standing out here. You know, my whole class still, you know, they drive. They left the city. You know what I'm saying? I stay out here. You know what I'm saying?

I'm in these streets. I'm a street nigga. I ain't never been there. Dumbest human being may be that's ever walked the streets. We're flipping the bent leaves. The fences. The fucking Mercedes. We're at Marquette Ave.

Whatever you want. You know what I'm saying? When I say Marquette, I ain't talking Marvette or anything. But the deal is we're the first... I ain't gonna fuck up the chicks, right? The whole thing is... You know what I'm saying? Jesus.

I got DUI's. You know what I'm saying? I'll get a year in a pen. He looks so young to have 60 UIs and have done a year in the pen. How old is he? I mean, he looks 17. You know what? What I really admire about him is that the N-word, it's not about color.

It's not about race. N-word is a state of mind. You could be any race, any age, and call yourself the N-word. Which I find really... I didn't really kind of grasp that concept until right now. You understand? It's philosophical. It's a semantics issue.

It's linguistics. You got you. Very interesting stuff. They card. So, you know what I'm saying? I can't drive. I can't drive. You know what I'm saying?

I got a chauffeur. No, I got a chauffeur. But I can't drive. You got a chauffeur. I ain't trying to get caught up again. I got this shit. You know what I'm saying? I got too much to live for now.

I got a daughter. You know what I'm saying? I got all this shit. I ain't trying to fuck it up. You know what I'm saying? Jesus. What a full life he's had. 60 UIs.

What a rich and full life he's had at 17. You know what I'm saying? Okay. So, I'm worried about, you know what I'm saying? Worry about me and my family. Just trying to feed myself and my people. Yeah. Why are you making this video?

I don't know. What is the point of this? It's the narcissism of this era. It really is. God, it's so awful. Fatigue of narcissism. Nobody understands... When I talked about how you sitting in the first words out of your mouth is, you know

what I'm saying? You know what I mean? No to hell we don't. You ain't say anything yet. I'm eating your food. I'm just out here. Show the people my Meemaw crib. Show the people.

This is a Meemaw crib. Show my brother. Don't worry about me. You can see it. Anyway, these are the streets I grew up in. You know what I'm saying? Because nobody out here ain't going to try nothing with Joey. You know what I'm saying?

Joey True Rice Park a lot. Joe, AKA that dude, Garden City stand up. You know what I'm saying? Just going to lay down. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Garden City stand up. You know what I'm saying? Just going to go lay down. Y'all know the name. Y'all know the name. You know what I'm saying? Anywhere. Do you know what the name of this video is called?

DUI. No, it's called We Are All In Trouble. That's what they titled it. That's accurate. He's a Milwaukee though. I don't know. He said Mark Kedav. I just assumed it was, I don't know where the hell he is.

Can we quarantine? Can we wrangle up all of these kids and just put them in one state? Let's pick a place right now where we can just quarantine all these kids. The other thing is we haven't given him a chance. Let's see if he ends it by saying something real smart. All right, I'm sorry. I don't know. I just don't know.

And I really don't know. SM-O-R-T. Yeah, smart. Yeah. I ain't never going to change. I'm saying street ass niggas. Well, I'll shout out to my niggas. They love praying for you.

I'm going to have to turn this camera off. I'm going to dial it code, bro. Anyway, I'm going to turn this camera off before we get to nice town. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'd be careful up in nice town. You know what I'm saying? Cop's a little dead, bitch. You know, rich people.

Come on. I mean, hey. I don't even consider nice town part of my city. They're going to cop right there. You know what I'm saying? All right, dog. Before we go, sign out. Before we go.

Right now, I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what you mean. I have the state. I have the solution. Jesus. I have the solution. Yeah. Nevada.

Hear me out. It's big. Yeah. I mean, like Vegas is like douchebag central. We don't let him live in, they don't let these idiots live in Vegas, but in the outskirts where it's nothing but desert and drugs, like everybody's all methed out anyways. Yeah. Let's just ship all these people to Nevada.

That's what's up. Yeah. Yeah. Let them talk to each other and say, you know, I'm saying to each other and not bother any of us. Wow. Yeah. Is that?

Yeah. It's hot. And maybe that, that'll mellow them out. Maybe. You know? That's my final solution. That's your final solution. Yeah.

If you will. He's awful. He's an awful, awful person. Awful. And it's not his fault. I'm sure his parents are dopes too. I don't know. He probably wasn't parented properly, my thinking is.

You don't think he got the best education in the world? I'm guessing his parents didn't shop at Whole Foods or... Does that mean it's... He didn't go to kindergarten. You know what I mean? Like he didn't... Kindergarten. He didn't get into Harvard this semester.

Yeah, but he's got those six DUIs. That's good. Six. Six. I did a year in the pen, he said. At 17. He looks so young. I don't know.

Maybe he's 19. They don't let you get. Do they let you get six? I mean, they just throw you away. I don't think so. It's why he's walking down the street though, that's what he said. He had a lot of cool shit going on, but this is cooler. He said it the same.

Through the ground, looking for the secret of Facebook's holy grail. We try to keep from the pain that leaves the hashtag fail. So connect with me. Let's have some fun. Let's show the world how this gets done. Let's get social social media. Let's get social social media. Where we can spread the word and pet the feed and find our fans in their news feed.

Let's get social. I just figured out and find our fans in their news feed. Is that right in there? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Wow, I feel like every time I hear the song, more meaning unfolds. That's true. I didn't hear that before and now I get it. I'm glad you're in the dome again, Janice.

Did you miss me? Yeah. I missed you too. Speaking of, I can finally announce the show that I've been working on. Oh, shit. Breaking news, everybody. Everybody pull your jeans up as high as you can. Let's do this.

Let's do this. Let's do this. Eat that poo poo. All right, here it goes, guys. So I worked on this show called Funniest Wins on TBS with the very spectacular famous Marlon Wayne. He's like a son to me, man. He should not say that to me.

I'm not allowed to say a whole lot yet, but it premieres June 20th at 10 p.m. and it's me and nine other comedians competing for the title of Funniest Wins. And we do, the only reason it's, first of all, it's a reality show, which you guys know. I love watching them. Guess what? I love being on them, but we do a bunch of cool stuff that you guys are going to see. It's not just like one lane of comedy. So it was such a crazy, crazy experience.

And I can't wait to discuss every episode as they come out. And we're going to have the other people on the show on our podcast so that we can talk to them and get their side. But Marlon Wayne is super cool. The Wayans is-is-is are super cool. I got to hang out with Marlon and Craig Wayans and Damon Wayans Jr. Like the nicest people for being in show business. It was pretty crazy.

You know, like people are super famous and you're like, oh, they're going to suck. Like they're the most normalist people. And I don't know how that happened. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, I, um, I'm excited for you. I got to get some updates along the way. It was very cool.

Oh my God. You got to go to the season finale. I got to go to the finale. Um, yeah. It's so crazy. You guys are going to, I can't wait to see how you guys feel about the show because it was like up, down, all around. Yeah.

It was a great experience so far. Very great experience. Very positive energy. I did my affirmations every day. Positive. Positive push. Yes. Such a crazy time.

So we'll see what happens. And then tonight, I believe it. Oh, tonight's not. This is it already have aired. I did the last comic standing too, which airs Tuesday night, which will be in the past. Well, look at you. Look at you. Yeah.

I'm hitting those, the contest circuit, the comedy contest. You're doing well. Really crushing it guys. Making my dreams come true. We have, you know, we got, you had so much to do when you were doing the show. Yeah. That we really fell behind obviously on a lot of things. Our house, for instance, has fallen apart.

It's a disaster. It's a hoarder house now. Can you describe to the listeners? It's horrific. You know what it looks like? We moved in today and we're just like, well, just like, let that stuff sit for a minute because we just moved here. It looks so bad.

Um, yeah. Can I just say Theo has also been going through the bags that I've left open. Oh my God. Look, I look at his dog bed and he's got an entire pouch of beef jerky that he stole from my bag in his bed. I look, I heard him crunching on something. I looked over, it was asserts. He had one of my breath mints and he was eating it.

Um, but one of the other things that we fell behind on that we wanted to do obviously in a more timely manner. Uh, it was last time we did our live, um, from the ice house. We streamed it on Kogo and people bid on things. Um, if you bid on the personal podcast, you got an email from us. Um, please respond to that email and we'll get you your personal podcast. It's exciting email to you, but we also have some shout outs to do. Okay.

Shout out Tom. Yeah. But you shout out Gregory Bevington. I love Gregory. I remember though, when we went to the park and he left his bicycle out and somebody took the front tire. I remember that day and he said, I don't have a tire and we go, you have to tie up your bike.

Otherwise you could lose a tire and then Gregory walked home and he said, I learned something today. Yep. I remember that lesson as a painful one. Yeah. He's really like a son to me. And then, uh, Ted, uh, Padullo, he had a heart on, uh, had an erection when we went surfing. Do you remember that?

Uh, was that in Bolsachica? Yep. That was in Hawaii. When we all went to Hawaii. You, me, and Ted Padullo, and he, does it Padullo or Padullo? It's P-A-D-U-L-L-O. Padullo. Padullo, right?

Yeah. You speak Mexican. I mean, it looks kind of spiky. You speak Mexican. It seems spiky. And then, uh, I said, Ted, everybody knows that you have a boner and, um, he said, thanks dad. And I remember that so much.

Wait, is he your son? Yeah. Yeah. My son. You think he could have told me this, I don't know, 10 years ago when we started dating or? Well, you met him. I just didn't tell you that, that's who he was. We got to talk after the show.

All right. Let's just do the show. Geez. Um, Graham Baker, a huge shout to Graham Baker, Graham's so nice. Hi, Graham. Um, then you remember the time that we went, uh, to barbecue in Hawaii with him. His wife was there, I believe Nancy, and she started doing Pilates and she was talking about that new class.

Yeah. I like, I miss them. Yep. Huge, huge shout out to, uh, to Graham, um, then, uh, I don't feel like we could even get through this if we didn't give a big, enormous, uh, shout out to our good buddy, uh, John Clender. It's hard to listen to. Yep.

John, um, first gave, uh, blow job demonstration like that. That's why I pulled that sound for him. You know, who swears by that? Um, Tiffany Haddish and I were discussing this. She does the, she's like, yeah, all guys love it when you choke on it and you make eye contact and you cry. I'm like, all guys are just the derelicts you've been blowing. Yeah.

Yeah. I think she's right. Prisoners. Is that what you want from me? Yes. Want me to cry and stuff? Yes. Yep.

Yes. Yes. Cry. Uh, John, thank you, uh, for, thank you, thank you for the blow job demonstration that you gave, then of course there's Andy Sandin who has diabetes and we are concerned about your insulin and your sugar intake. Um, we want you to be healthy, Andy. We want you to live a long life.

So please lay off of the Snickers bars. Hey, did you see that the picture I tweeted of the, they've got these new diapers for men if you pee in your pants all the time? Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. Stupid. You like that?

It's embarrassing. I hate to have to wear that. Yeah. Stupid. A big shout out to Omari Robertson, who remember we, we did, uh, we drove with him and he farted in the car. Yes. And then we got out of the car to go to Del Taco.

We came back. The fart was still in the car. That was all Omari and, uh, we acknowledge you and we honor you. We think you're a very wonderful person. Honor you. Um, then of course there's Steve Arellano, I approve Jews, who's, uh, has cousin is Jewish and, um, that we had a good time. Steve double Jew, Steve double Jew.

Um, and, uh, we had a lot of fun, uh, of lighting the menorah with you and your family. Remember his bar mitzvah? It was a lot of fun. It was like the Star Wars theme and you had your lightsaber. They spent a lot on that. Absolutely. Um, two more. Um, I guess we, we have some Latinos doing these shout outs.

It's interesting. Isn't it? Yeah. Um, let's see. Uh, we did Steve, uh, Ricardo Munoz, Jr. Imagine the ass digging the pussy. I'm using nasty girl ain't fine. Um, that was him.

That was, uh, we went, uh, I went to the concert with him and then, uh, in the van, in the parking lot, Ricardo, uh, Munoz, Jr. insisted on, uh, putting his nuts in her ass and taking the pussy. How do you do that? Yeah. Um, is that it? No. Uh, one more.

Um, Benito Mussolini, Benito Mussolini, Benito Lugo. There you go, Benito. Big shout out to you. My friend. Thank you so much. And thank you to all of you. Um, big fart out, some of you got the bonus footage, which was awesome. Um, and then now you got your shout outs and then the personal podcasts will be coming.

Just make sure you write back to us, um, in those, those emails that we sent. Hey, speaking of Latinos, uh, we were on the beach yesterday celebrating Memorial days. This is, remember that, uh, crazy gang banger with the tattoos. Holy shit. It was one of us, dude, bro. Fuck. Homeboy was strong. Homeboy was serious.

Yeah. Homeboy was real serious. What's Calculas? He, he was yoked, shaved head. He had, he had tats, teardrop tats. He had a back of the head tat, full chest, full chest, abdomen, huge letters said, Gardena. The chess piece was unreal. Like it had so many different faces like everybody he's seen cry to death.

And it was a big chola up that on his side, the cholas with my favorite, the old school cholas. Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was pretty nuts. I mean, he's repping Gardena till he died. Like I wonder, can he ever move or he has to, he has to live in Gardena. Like once you get the tattoo now you, you're committed to that barrio.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. For life. Yeah. It's, um, it was, it was super intense. And the best thing was that he, um, while everybody's at the beach relaxing, he would do his, uh, prison yard squat and that's how he enjoyed the beach. And people laid, sat and laid on either beach chairs or on towels.

He was squatting like his feet are, you know, he's standing squats down and then he was just scoping the yard, but the yard was the beach. Like a, like a real menace, like he couldn't ready to pound, ready to pound and he was ready to do some shit. Talking shit. He was ready to talk some shit. Go talk some shit. That guy was aggressive to say the least.

Uh, I feel like this would be him. He was still right here on me. It's fucking morning. Fucking. Fucking. Got the enemy. I was right there on me. That was him.

Yeah. Well, and then, um, there was another couple of gangbangers throwing around like fully tatted to fully represent this barrio. And I walked by to go to the bathroom and that guy was mad dogging me like he kept looking at me and I'm like, what the fuck is this guy looking at? And I forgot, but I was wearing that police department cap and I, I sense that's the one that got me free coffee. Right.

Right. Yeah. I sense the streak of panic in his eyes and I'm like, I could get used to this cap. You know what I mean? I could get used to throwing this kind of weight around in the world. I liked it. I'm going to start getting, I'm going to buy a bunch of police gear. Different departments.

Yeah. You know what, I'm not above a free Starbucks. I'm giving them enough money over the years. It's time for them to give back. You know what I'm saying? That coffee, man. You know what I'm saying? Some of that coffee.

Um, you know, I got a couple, uh, I got a couple of trees for you. Yeah. Yep. I can't wait. I got a text this morning from a panicked OMG Maria. It's fueled with hatred and I just, I was like, I got to give her a call like now. It's been a long time. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Seriously? Oh my God. Take your talking scissors.

Oh my God. Use your pudgy fucking monkey hands. Seriously? Cut the box open. Cut a hole in it and pour it in the goddamn bottle. Oh my God. Seriously? I mean, no, I'm saying, I love that intro that, that Ryan managed to go.

It's amazing. Um, so I saw this text and she was like, fucking Home Depot are the fucking dumbest people ever. And I was like, I had to make two calls because the first time just this is, this is the state that she sent me the text in. I can just, okay. So I called her immediately and this is what I got when I called her immediately. Hello?

Hey. Hey. Oh my God. Let me call you back. I'm, I'm with a, I don't know right now, taking care of this disaster situation of like dead freeze and bleep. This crazy lady that moved out of here has had a nervous breakdown. I did not do anything about it.

So let me call you back. It's been a disaster after disaster today. I will call you back shortly. Okay. Okay. Bye. Okay. Wait a minute.

What's the code red kid? What was that when I called? What was that? There's some weed situation. Disaster. Disaster. Yeah. Disaster.

Okay. So I go, all right. I guess I'll call again. How much time did you give her to resolve the disaster? She called back and then I was on another call. So I had to give her, I, I called her back the second time and this is 15 minutes later. So it's still pretty fresh. The trauma is still fresh in her mind.

Yes. Hello. Hey. Hey, I'm so sorry to bother you. It's been a while. Oh, God. I've got time. There's no idea what it's been.

I'm so angry. What happened? Yeah, it starts this morning. Of course there's always a lot of accidents in Jeff's account. I wake up this morning and the dryer, like I had the dryer going in three times. I wasn't trying anything. I tried to prevent.. One thing you should try to do is just count like breaths and breaks in information because

it's, it's pretty relentless. Yeah. It took her to being parted and everything else. And it's a whole thing heating up, but it's not drying any clothes. And I have housekeeping coming and obviously something's jammed inside, so I called service to do whatever. But I had also planned Home Depot with, I had the blinds delivered that we placed in order six weeks ago.

These blinds. And it has been a total shit show trying to get these things in the house. I placed the order for them to came in, they measured, and they're supposed to put in the measurements and then order the product. Well, a week goes by, I'm like, I haven't heard from them. So I call Home Depot. I'm like, I'll come out and hurt from anybody, but we don't have their measurements. Like we need them to measure them.

The guy came here Monday. The guy's been out, they put in a report that he didn't come in until Friday. So the guy basically forgot to put the measurements in. So like, well, we'll do it on Monday, we'll get the measurements in. So Monday comes, I'm like, did you get the measurements in? Like, we don't know what you want to order. I'm like, we need to know what I want to order. Which is there, that a schedule the appointment for it.

So they couldn't find what I wanted. So I go in, I pick, I show them again what I ordered, what the product I want. They put in the order. They call me when they have the order done and it turns out they ordered the wrong product. So then they had to cancel the order, reorder it. And then it turns out that the one that they, now when they put in for the reorder, it's behind six weeks. I'm like, we'll forget it.

Let's just find some stuff that we can work with, whatever, whatever, and get the right order. And then they screwed up to the room. This is playing for a couple of minutes without a break. Can I ask you something? Is this what normal people talk about, like non-communians when they call each other? Is this what people talk about? Yeah.

Seriously, the blinds? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Frustration. People, people share their frustration. Gotcha. Yeah.

Absolutely. Call me again. I go in, get everything, everything's on the order. Like it arrived last week and I go in to pick it up versus having them deliver it. And they scheduled today the installation. Look, I come to install it and they reversed to the rooms again at this point and they forgot the hardware. Wait, they reversed the two of the room?

What does that mean? Yeah. So they basically cut, because I had two more special orders, so they cut the blinds for weapons to pull down blind. And then the bathroom, I had this like faux wood blind-cutting, you know, with shutters almost? Yeah. Well, basically they made the shutters for weapons room and they did the pull down blind

for the bathroom. Oh, Jesus. And they brought the hardware to put them in. My blood is now blotting. I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I have no patience for this at all anymore. Like it's been one thing after the other. And the worst part is no one ever calls you back.

There's no customer service. There's nothing. And on top of that, they came to the street clean this morning, but they only did half the street and they never came back to do it. This has got to be a nightmare if you're the customer service rep and Maria comes in, you're like, ah, shit. I think this is why... I'm a tie saw.

This is why I don't call people, because I don't ever want to hear their drama. Wow. My life's hard enough. Do you think? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. It's a lot.

So I have a whole yard in my situation, but I go in there, I'm like, first of all, first of all, first I call the people. Okay. First I called and they had me talk to a manager and he's like, I'll call you. I want to call it in the hour. But of course he doesn't call it in the hour. I'm like, it's 50 minutes up. Here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to bring in a broken part and I want you to give me something that will work immediately for this. I'm going to disguise Jeremy. I'm like, I'm going to meet you in four minutes. I will be at the desk and I want to meet you there. I want you to give me the proper, you know, you're going to cut this down and do whatever, whatever. I'm going to show them as I'm driving.

You're going to do whatever, whatever. Yeah. So intense. So intense. It's only four minutes away. It's not less. I show up and they're like, I'm going to see Jeremy, the manager, because he's kind of, like, here's the one for Westminster.

I'm like, the bathroom can wait, but Westminster needs to wait. What? Do you understand? Not a word. Do you? Yeah, I can understand it. Okay. Okay.

That's all. Okay. That's all. Okay. That's all. Okay. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Okay.

I see that. And then I'm like, I'm like, I'm just going to go Jeremy. I've got the blind and he's going to get me, you know, you're going to cut him down, but Jeremy went to lunch. I'm like, what? At this point, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, that's when like, I broke down. I was like, I just not going to happen.

I just unleashed my fury and tears and other, a child is suffering. I am suffering. No one is sleeping. Do you know. I'm like, I don't care what you do, but you get something like, Wow. So they brought somebody else out, became delivered, new blinds in my house, and they're being installed as you speak. Wow.

I'm so mad. Can you, I mean, like, I just, I don't understand. I'm like, I'm, I know you specifically, the person was talking about, it's not your fault. I said, how incompetent of a department can you be to fuck it up that many times? I'm like, it's not that hard. You measure. Let's pretend it's a box.

You measure box. You put the measure numbered in the little Excel thing, the multiple times a dollar, and then you hit send, order, and then you come in and you put it in there. How do you fuck up this many things? Like how, and this often, like, how is that possible? Yeah. I understand humans make mistakes once or twice, but six times. How does that happen?

Whoever, shouldn't be working here. I was so mad. I just don't get it. And you still have a job, which is the worst part. Like, and you're still going to get this first working year or department. Unbelievable. I don't care. Yeah.

So you think it was laziness? Yeah. Of course it's laziness. I don't care. I don't care. They get their orange, they get their orange bib with their magic marker and they do dazzle and they're like, hey, I'm happy to help you. We're going to get into customer service.

It's bullshit. I didn't even give you a phone call back. My name is Steve. How can I help you? You can help me by fucking getting the order in the right. First time. That's how you can help me. Yeah.

Oh, so mad. Yep. Yep. I hear you. And then not even the hardware. Oh, and then on top of this, so the woman that lived in here before was a German couple. And like 20 years apart, right? Well, the guy got sick of her.

She's kind of crazy. And they got divorced. So she lived here for the last three or four years that had like a nervous breakdown. Do you understand the shift that just happened? There's something about a German lady who had a nervous breakdown. This is the shift. Okay. So we covered blinds.

Mm-hmm. Another thing that she's pointing out that happened is that the people that lived in the house before her was a German couple. Oh, okay. Gotcha. And the man just got tired of the woman and left and she had a breakdown. So she stayed in the home when he left and she had her breakdown. And apparently she's neglected the yard.

Oh. Okay. Basically didn't do anything to the house, the yard. I mean, it was just the house or bacon. So it's been like one thing after another that like we're discovering and the owners are in Hong Kong. And in order to do anything done, like the landlord here, the liaison who talks to people in Hong Kong and by the time they get approval, but it's not the yard thing.

It's made a big project. Imagine like treating, like not taking care of your yard for like four years. It's really disgusting. It's disgusting. There's so many beads and like mushrooms and like fungi. I like to agar on, you know. You sound really interested. Like ugly little plants.

I don't know what they're called and I don't know anything about gardening. I mean, I'm like down to them when it comes to yard work, but I can tell it's mean ugly and doesn't belong there. How, um, how's your relationship with your Starbucks? Excellent. You know what? I'm actually ranging in play date with my Starbucks girl here. Really?

There's two people that don't want to deal with her because they get headaches. I got a headache right now. Yeah. I think that's pretty extreme when the employees like, I can't deal with her. You take her. Yeah. It's pretty amazing. Hmm.

It's pretty, pretty fantastic. So the two girls are phenomenal and they always take care of me because the other guys get frustrated. Other one. Oh my God. One manager had a nervous breakdown. It was complete. Complete.

I wasn't going to film that. He had to go. It was like during. They did like crappy hour. You know, it was the last day of crappy hour. Frappy hour. Frapp. Is that a real thing?

Sounds like it. Some Starbucks term. Frapp. Frapp hour. Frapp hour. I'm about to do a lot of that. Put a little bit of drizzle on the side. Drizzle.

Drizzle. Drizzle. She loves that drizzle, man. Yeah. Yeah. So I go in and there's the drive-through that's wrapped around the Starbucks. What the fuck is going on? I go inside and there's like 25 people in there.

And I place my order and probably couldn't help it. There's already a third behind, like everything's a shit show. Then I put in my complicated order. The guy, the manager had like a breakdown, like a full blown breakdown. This is disaster. Disaster. This is full communication. This is all wrong.

Disaster. Start over. And like just threw all the drinks in the garbage and like made everyone start over again. And then of course they screwed up mine like three times. It was awful. It was awful. I just started laughing. Like you have to laugh because this guy, like this is what you see on like a comedy show.

Complete breakdown. Just pulling his hair like screaming red. He probably did that when he saw her. Like, ah, I can't take it anymore. Yeah. I think she's the catalyst to the meltdown. There's some information she's leaving out. She's like, yeah, that's why you have to laugh.

Cause like when I walk in, everybody freaks out and they pull their hair and they go, ah, I can't take it anymore. Drinks being thrown everywhere. Mmm. Jesus. And I have a few to go to Starbucks ever again to Target. You don't go there? No.

I went there twice and it was a disaster. It was basically like I was ordering in Greek and they speak Japanese. I mean, that was just total disaster. I'm not going to get involved with the type of people that work at that Starbucks. They also double it, you know, cashiers and at the Target. Mmm. And most of them are really graduate high school. So.

Okay. Well, are you doing better now? Are you okay? Now I'm okay. Now that I'm at blinds entirely. It's just a bit in the morning from hell. Yeah. And all of this is happening before you even had Starbucks.

So. Oof. That's a rough one. Yeah. That's a rough one. Imagine. Okay. And I've just gone.

So. Where is he? Uh, it's pretty amazing. Like she had a really tough time at all before Starbucks. Yeah. Yeah. I believe it. Jeff Scott.

I was like. How could she cope? It's pretty crazy. Yeah. It's intense, man. Wow. That's so bad for her, huh? What a life.

What a world. Hey, um, you had some news. Um, who passed away? Oh no, you guys. Bad news, everybody. Uh, first of all, he's taken. So I wasn't going to be able to marry him anyways. But Manuel Uribe, the world's.

You can fucking try me fat. So the world's fattest man has finally died. 48. Who's he? He made it pretty far for that fat. Now, Manuel, how much did he weigh? He was like. He's all time high when he broke the, uh, the record.

Um, I think it was 1200 plus was his all time high. Um, let's see. Poor guy. 1230 was his all time high. He had gotten down to 867. It's not bad. Yeah. Um, he never actually got out of bed or stood or anything.

Um, believe that he suffered from both a liver and cardiac condition. That's hard to believe. And, um, yeah. Too much exercise, too much cardio. Yeah. And he was, um, he's a big boy. Um, he got married though. I mean.

At like 1200. He found this woman, the best part of the story is that. He's in Mexico and he came to the U.S. And that's when he got fat for the first time was. He's like, I love the pizzas and the hamburgers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cause he was like 250 and he was like, yeah, pizza burgers. Then he got up to like 300. I love the hot dogs in America. And then he came back to Mexico and now he has got a taste for all the American shit. The show about him made it, made you seem like, um, you go, you know what you can't do, you can't roll back when you hit four, four is the ultimate. That's the high bill where you're like, it's going to roll forward. Yeah.

There has to be a, you got to put your finger in the dyke, so to speak. Yeah. Uh, when it comes to your weight, there's, there's a, there's a stopping point for everybody. And I think four bills is should be where you go. All right. It's time to, to look at myself, figure some things out. You know, maybe, maybe see a psychiatrist, psychologist, figure out what's going on. What's going on internally.

And it's weird cause the woman that was, uh, into him had this like, um, nurse man. Nurse made complex. You know that, that caregiver thing of like, I nobody, but nobody loves him. Like I love him. I take care of him. I washing him. I put the powder on his balls and you're like, oh my God. When he would roll up and down.

Oh my Christ. She would get him in the, the baby die, die position. Yeah. And he would roll a lot. He would like roll his body back so that his nuts would be exposed and she would powder his balls for him. Yeah. Yep.

That's love. That's a lot of love. Um, another piece of news that I figured our audience would like to hear. Levi Strauss CEO, Chip Berg came out and said, stop washing your jeans so much. What? Yeah. At, um, conference last week, he said, these jeans are maybe a year old and they have yet to see a washing machine.

You're kidding. He said, um, I know that sounds totally disgusting, but he said, uh, he recommended spot cleaning your jeans with a sponge or a toothbrush and perhaps a bit of detergent than air drying. If you treat them right, they'll last a long, long time. Um, so this is not new advice and that jeans aficionados may be accustomed to hearing some unusual tips on keeping their denim products fresh. Um, what about the smell of the jeans? Like you got your nuts cooking in them.

I don't know. He said, consider how you're wearing your jeans and making laundering decisions accordingly. The way you'd care for a pair of jeans that you wear for yard work versus ones you wear out dancing should be different. You're dancing jeans. Your dancing jeans are different than your yard work jeans. He said the function should dictate how you treat a pair of jeans. I don't know if this has anything to do with, there's a video attached here.

Let me see if this has anything to do with it. You moisturizing jeans, that's right, wranglers coming out with jeans infused with natural oils and butters to protect your legs from, according to Vogue UK, the dehydrating effects of denim. So true. Why not? They're skinny jeans, acid watch jeans, ripped jeans, pajama jeans. Why not?

Oily, buttery jeans. They come in three types apparently, aloe vera, olive extract and smooth legs which is supposed to prevent cellulite. And yes, there is a promotional video. When you first put them on, it's a little cool like aloe vera, you know? Definitely cooler than regular jeans. Ledenum spa jeans, as they're called, will be on sale online later this month. The moisturizing effects are said to last up to 15 days, but Vogue UK says you'll also

be able to buy a reload spray that will last up to 95 wares. Listen, I gotta say, this doesn't really sound like my thing. Okay, Anderson. Wait a minute. That doesn't sound like your thing. Well, what kind of jeans are your jeans, Anderson? I'm particular about my jeans. I wear a T-shirt and jeans, gray or white, same pair of jeans, literally the same pair

of jeans every day. Okay, also interesting. And the same pair. Well, no, because they have these jeans you don't have to wash now, or so they say. You know what I mean? No, no, it's true. Controversy. The person who said to me, like, don't wash them for a long time.

Meaning like a week. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, they mean like six months. Luckily for me, no one really noticed that moment on my daytime talk show. Let's talk about dirty jeans, because this is really nasty. That's my nickname for you, dirty jeans. Yeah. Yeah, dirty jeans.

Okay, so Anderson Cooper, as you know, was. All right, that's enough of that. Anyways, so there's that. That's an interesting thing, because I noticed that, I've been wearing jeans a lot. In the last month, and when I take my jeans off, my legs get extra ashy, like they get real dry. And I didn't know that. I didn't know that the denim made them dry.

Have you noticed that? No. Mm-mm. I didn't notice that. They didn't make your, they don't make your legs dry? Mm-mm. Never, never occurred to me. And by your beard.

It makes my beard flaky when I wear jeans. Your beard hasn't been that flaky lately. The weather's changing, and you know, you know how it is. My fingertips have been super dry and itchy. Really? Isn't that weird? I don't know what's going on. Yeah, you woke up in the middle of the night, and you did something to your fingertips.

Yeah, because they were itching, and like they're peely, and I had to put some cream on it. Like, it's fucking weird, man. What does that mean? It's probably because you sit on your fingertips too much, and you make noises on them. My fingertips in my asshole all day. Why are you here this week? I don't know.

So bizarre. I don't know. So bizarre. All right, you ready for this? What is it? It's Top Dog. What an episode. Hey, buddy.

It's Top Dog. Hey, buddy. It's Top Dog. You need to wipe down. It's Top Dog. It occurred to me. He hasn't been on in a while. It's been a month at least.

It's been a while, yeah, and I think more than that, and yeah, I've had conversations with him, but I just haven't had them on the show, so I gave him a call today, and yep. So Top Dog. I am so excited. Here we go. Hey, Dad. Hey, buddy. How are you doing?

Good. How are you? Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah? Yeah. What's going on? Yeah.

Well, just had my new favorite lunch now is this seafood cob salad. Okay. It's got shrimp and crab meat, spinach. Spinach. But I like the non-organic kind. Okay. Non-organic spinach? Not it.

Yeah. Yeah. Why? Yeah. Because the pesticides and chemicals help kill the bacteria that can normally come from. You realize this is his form of rebellion, right? Yeah.

He's sticking it to the man. Yeah. Yeah. He loves that people want organic, so he goes, I don't want organic. Yeah. I keep it in old school. I like it. Oh, boy.

Organic. So I feel like it's safer to eat stuff that's been treated with pesticides than it is not the E. coli. And those chemicals kill a lot of the bacteria. So. That's nice. I go down the, you know, I've kind of built up an immunity for pesticides anyway. So I feel safer with chemicals.

Yeah. That's great, Dad. It's good. It's really good. Yeah. And save money too, because, you know, that organic shit costs, you know, it's expensive. Now, when your sister comes home, of course, you have, you know, everything's organic in the house, but the grass, okay?

Right. You know, because she's into all that modern, you know, stuff. But. A lot of heavy breathing going on. You hear me say it? A lot of heavy breathing going on. What is wrong with that? Then he kind of laughs at it here.

What, so you told me last week that you farted on the way to work and then you knew what kind of shit you were going to take. I did. You know, if you get to know your farts over, you know, I mean, if you think about how many shits I've taken in my life, we're talking, you know, well over a hundred thousand, okay. So you get to know. Yeah. Well over a hundred thousand, I don't know about that.

Well, let's see here. You take, let me see how many days I've been alive here. Let me work this out. That's a good point. Okay. So you figure a 365 times 67. I've been alive 24,455 days. Yeah.

And I probably, you know, kind of child of four shits a day. Probably that's a 97,000. I'm probably coming up on my, you know, in the next year or two, my hundred thousand shit. Okay. I never thought about that. That's great. Yeah.

It's really exciting about it. Something looks forward to another milestone. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, but I can tell, I can tell by the odor, whether it's going to be a, you know, a brick or it's going to be a sloppy joe. I can tell.

Wow. Hmm. Yeah. And then how was it when you, the other day when you said you farted in the car on the way to work? It was, it was a six. I knew it was going to be a six. You knew it was.

Oh yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. How did you know? I just know that the, you know, the smell and I know each level has its own unique. You know, there's kind of a, the higher you go up in the number, it's kind of a rancid smell when, when they're more solid. I'm going to throw up.

God, I can't believe your mom lays this guy for 40 years. So intense. I have a more benign, less stinky smell. It's a one or two. One doesn't smell much at all. It's probably going to be a one or two, sometimes a three. Okay. Okay.

But when you get some ugly smells that you're up there in the, you know, six, seven and eight range. There's no eight. You've created a five, five, well, five, six and seven range. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So I, you know, I'm just kind of, I can just, you know, it's like some people can, look at artists to draw and see how you do that. And he just do, they haven't kind of a, an art, I'm the same way. Yeah. I can do it. Um, so the other thing is, uh, you called me and you said, you had, you're like, you know, I've been thinking about, and I had no idea what you were going to say. And you said, I was thinking that morning shits don't smell as bad as shits during the

day. Oh, they don't, they don't, they absolutely do not. But that's, so your theory is that the morning shits is the least odorous of the shits that you could take during the day. Absolutely. Positively. Yes. But my whole thing is that like you could have some real fire before you go to bed,

you know, eat something pretty intense. That just cooks in you all night and then you could take a, a really stinky shit in the morning. Right. Am I right about that? I agree. I beg to differ with your father on this topic and I, it's very controversial, but I have a feeling my morning dumps are the smelliest of the day.

Hmm. I, I, because they've been festering inside of you all night. That's my, that's why the logic. Yeah. No, I agree with you on this one, Tommy. Hmm. Well, I generally don't eat something with fire before I go to bed. Well, I don't mean fire as in spice.

I just mean that like something. Yeah, but I think it, it takes longer time. I remember, well, you had a dinner time that it takes a while, depends on how fast your digestive process is, but, uh, you know, for the most part, there's stuff that's, you know, in the, in the assembly line before, you know, if I had something late at night, there's a lot of stuff that are coming to the end of the train station. See what I mean? Well, I, I still metaphor today.

See what I mean when I talked about how you sitting in the first words out of your mouth is, you know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? No, the hell we don't, you ain't say anything yet. I don't know what you're saying. And I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you mean. More, more fart talk, top dog.

Still think that, uh, that probably wouldn't apply to me. Okay. So you're saying for you mornings are not as bad. Oh, mornings are fairly benign. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to go, you know, I'll have one, uh, you know, sometimes the early afternoon ones or sometimes the early evening ones too can be, can be, uh, you know, for some reason

that that, that's a period sometimes on, I can, you know, the time that I farted in the movie theater, the whole row behind me moved. I thought about that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, serious. They just got up and left. Yeah.

It was. Dad. He's so proud. I've left, I've left the movies with you before. That's true. That's true. Yeah. You have.

Yeah. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. You looked at me. Yeah. Yeah. But you came back.

You did come back after, you know, you came back. I came back. I did come back. I drove that night. So you came back. I've left hotel rooms that you were in before. Yes. I've seen you.

I've seen you go down to, uh, downstairs to, you know, whatever, just kind of get the mirror outside. Yeah. But if you're in a good hotel that's got a good ventilation system, that stuff clears up pretty fast. I'm not true. Not with him. No way.

Not with dad shits. No. Dad farts and dad shits are a whole other level. Dude, dads are full of bad smells. There's dad mouth. All dad mouths are disgusting. Horrific. Dad farts, linger, dad shits.

Dude, my dad takes those morning dumps. The whole fucking house smells like his shit. Yeah. It doesn't go away. Cobas and beer. Beer, coba sausage, uh, ratotouche, I mean. That's a rancid shit. Yeah, of course.

You can smell it. Probably wakes you up. Dude. You're like, what is that? It would drift when I was in high school from under the bathroom. I would smell it into my bedroom, the waft, the smell. Of course, dude. Of course.

Dads are the grossest human beings. Oh, all right. Something to keep in mind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm all excited about planning our trip to Canada next summer.

This is a big thing he's been on. We're going to do. He wants to go on a fishing trip. Oh, yeah. Where are you guys going to go? I don't know. Somewhere in Canada. Yeah, that'll be fun.

We'll have a good time. Yeah. You go up there and, uh, that's way up there, but I figure if I don't do it now, we'll never do it. That's, yeah, that's true. So we'll definitely do that. We'll definitely do that. And it's something that, you know, uh, you know, we'll see some bears.

Well, two of you, you know, and, uh, Canada is a pretty country. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful. I love going up there. Really? Yeah. It's, it's a, uh, it's amazing how, uh, how attractive and diverse Canada is on the

east and the west. Hopefully when we're up in, uh, Canada, we'll see some roadbeave too. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. That'll be great, buddy.

Some Canadian, some Canadian pussy. Yeah. You know, I haven't, uh, you don't see a lot of blondes in Canada though, do you? Um, yeah, you do. I mean, you really? I mean, they have, they have the full variety. Sure. Yeah.

Oh, the gentleman prefers blondes. I see. I don't know. I guess so. I guess so. Yep. Like father, like son. Not too many in Vietnam when he was there.

Must have been a dry. Not a fun time. Dry time for him. Oh, blondes over there. Shit, buddy. Boy, that picture you posted on your Facebook of him in the Marine Corps. Oh yeah. That was amazing.

Yeah. Put that on Instagram and, um, and, uh, Facebook. That's when he was a prime killing machine time. You said you can see it in his eyes. Yeah. What do you, what do you think was going through his head during that photograph? Um, that's a good question. I don't know.

Boners, killing, boners, killing. Um, pretty much. Yeah. I think that's pretty accurate. Something about killing. Yeah. Yeah. It was, um, what is this here?

Got a little spunk in my tail today. I think I'm going to go to Trader Joe's and, uh, get some poop soup recipe. What do you think of that? Um, poop soup would be great. Yeah. Would you eat it if I made it? Let's try some poop soup today. For real?

Yeah. I feel like I got to cleanse the palate. I like the idea. I got to start over again. Make some poop soup. I'll have some. The poop soup. The poop soup.

Yeah. That sounds good. What a, what a fun filled episode. We got Maria. We got your dad. Uh, it was pretty crazy. Jean's good work. Yeah.

Yeah. That was fun. I'm really glad you did that. And we'll have another fun episode on Friday. All right. Awesome. I can't wait to come back to the Mommy Dome. Mommy Dome loves you.

Nobody likes you. I'm going to take feet to the dog park today. Okay. Cool. He can jeans around. I love you guys. I love that song that let's get social acoustic special. It's pretty great.

It's pretty great. Um, yeah, that's it. Uh, thanks for listening to our show. Um, check out your mom's house podcast.com and we'll see you soon. We added some new clips. So if you're looking for, there's a few more up there on the website on your mom's house podcast.com under the segment clips. We've added some fun stuff that we've been playing on the show.

So check it frequently. And we'll, yeah, we'll keep adding to it. It'll keep growing. Yeah. All right. Oh, P.S. My philosophy podcast, I still intend on doing it. I've just literally gotten back home on Sunday and I will be dropping it very soon.

I'm still diligently working on it. You even, can you say the name or no? I'll give a name. Um, yeah, it's called that's deep bro and it's that's deep bro podcast and I'm banking some episodes. Smart. You can kind of keep this, this train going. Unlike this show where we can't say, I know, um, I've got some exciting guests already.

Matt Full-Shron is on Jenny Patland, um, trying to think of the other ones, which like it's been a kind of a minute here, but some really good people, dude, we're having really deep conversations with really retarded people, bro, bros and Tommy, you're going to do it. Aren't you? Maybe. What do you mean? Maybe. Pay me.

I'll pay you and P.S. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. I'm Segorong Christina Bozinski. I'm full of your jeans. Boy, pull them up tight. Put your head up in shit.

I live your whole life blind. Bikes. Next stop, round talk. You better wipe down dope. Hesitate to listen to their mommies with the crown. Wipe down or is it wipe up? Oh my God, seriously? Bill her up.

I'll sell a shot. Oh yeah. And that's good. And I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there.

I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there.

I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there.

I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there.

I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be there. I'm going. I'm going.

I'm going. I'll be there. I'm going. I'll be there. I'll be there.