Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 231-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 19, 2014

What hurts on you? Your what, your what, your what? That's nice, lady! As the Great Italian pornographer, Rocco says, "You must have both the passion and the chemistry and the focus and not know when the end is here for it to go with what is there." Understand? Peter Caine is our new hero. Don't you dare threaten him and don't EVER leave your dog with a friend. Friends are the worst. Bad songs are evidently existence in abundance. Thank you for filling our inbox with them. Is the Biggie/Beatles debate over? Nope! Who do you side with, Tina's super white/super lame explanation or Tom's hard and black and super real argument?  Gross sexual kinks are fascinating. Do you have one? Please share. And, you know what I'm sayin, we want that GENUINE "Gnam sayin" Know what we're saying? Bossa Nova forever!

Yeah. You better get them quick. It is a month away and well over half sold out already. So there's limited seats. I'm actually doing some pretty cool shows leading up to that. First I'm going to Buffalo, New York June 27th through the 28th. Then July 9th I'm going to the Fox and Fiddle in London, Ontario. Is that in London, Canada? No, it's in different London. It's in Canada. Then I'm doing Absinthe in Hamilton, Ontario. That's July 10th. Then two days later me and the jeans machine are in Toronto. Shortly

there after I'm in Hartford, Fartford. And then the Ontario Improv with you and then it goes crazy. Punchline, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Mom Lando, Lauderdale. I'm going to Asia. It's not Mom Lando. All the tickets for my shows are at TomCigarette.com with the exception of that July 12th Super Show in Toronto. That's only at yourmomshousepodcast.com. Jeans, where can they see you? Well Machines, pull your denim up really tight and high. August 9th, I'm doing the Ice House Annex and Pasadena two shows, 730 and 930, just for the jeans. For real mommy's only. This show is not open to the general public. I am doing two shows just for mommy. I swear

to Christ. It's not in my mind because this is my whole new thing, dude. It's only for the real jeans. Are you real fucking mommy? Are your jeans high as shit? Okay. Are you not petting other people's dogs? Come to my fucking show. Okay. All right. Also, July 4th weekend. July 4th weekend, I'm going to be at the Brea Improv. July 3rd through 6th with your baby daddy. Gay, full charge. And you know what? That's it. That's all as far as I'm going to go. My life is full of surprises. Oh, peep this. June 24th. That's next Tuesday. If you're in Los Angeles, I'm doing a free set. And I say that only because it's longer than normal

to 25 minute show. It's free entrance. I'm saying, you know, there's no pay, no cover at the Virgil in Silverlake. So I'll do like a 20, 25 minute set. It's a cool venue in Silverlake. It's on Virgil in Santa Monica if you're in LA. I know Mike Kaplan is doing the show. He's a very funny comic. So June 24th, Tuesday at 9.30, if you're around. Wait, check that shit out. One more thing. Roostertea Feather, Sunnyvale, California, August 14th through 17th. Sunnyvale, California, Sunnyvale, California. All right. Where is Sunnyvale?

Yeah, it's NorCal. It's like, it's not too far from Manifra and Disco. That's what I thought. It's like under it, huh? Yeah. It's not too far. Huh. It's like under it, huh? Huh. Hmm.

Theo's bearing his, his bone. Let's get right to it. Yeah. We have a lot to catch up on. Yes. We have to explain what happened. We have to tell everybody everything. All of it. All of it. It all starts right now.

Oh, my fucking cut. Oh shit. My cut. My cut. My cut. Oh. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. No mom and a fucking dad. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

With Tom Segura, Tom Tsutsuru, and Christina Pajitsi. Christina Pajitsi. Welcome to your mom's house. Oh shit. Hey Tom. Yeah, hi. Hey, that's not the clip we, I thought you would be opening with. What do you think I was opening with?

I mean, we found all those neat clips of the dog guy. Yeah. I didn't know it would be that particular piece of information. I thought it was a really funny clip. I thought it was mixed it up. Let's do something different we haven't done in a while. Oh yeah. We never have pornography on the show.

What was the last time we opened with a clip like that? It's been a while for fucking, yes. Opening clips. Opening clips, right. Opening. Usually don't. We don't put that foot forward. But it's nice.

It's nice that you switch to that. Oh my fucking cat. Oh shit. My cat. My cat. My cat. That's pretty. I mean that's, you know.

What's her story? Like what's happening in the picture? I like the idea of just a cock just controlling my mouth. See? Yeah. You know that's what you want to do. Come on now give it to me. You take it out of your throat.

I'll let you breathe. It's sexy. I can't help it. I'm probably like a little whore. It's just a great hold for that. Yeah, you know, lots of swipes. Just really get it. Why, why did that sound?

Why does it make me laugh so much? I don't know. Because the thing is I'm not sure that I don't, I don't LOL. It makes me laugh. I think because on some level I'm uncomfortable with it. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why I'm laughing, but it always makes me laugh. Like it always makes me laugh.

Yeah. The thing is, is that, that gets dudes hard. Yeah. That whole like fucking choking on it. But this clip doesn't make me horny. It makes me laugh. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not a mom, I'm a dad. No sadness. For the people. Nope. For the girls whose dads don't know them. Take it. What are you looking forward to most today? To men just following me.

It's very sexy. Oh my fucking cunt. Oh shit. My cunt. My cunt, my cunt. Well, anyways, happy birthday. Thanks, Tom. Oh my god, my cunt.

What part makes you happy? That part's really funny. You did it like that was funny. They never knew my dad. Oh, don't make it like that. There's people that know their dads that do this. Oh my god. Very few.

Oh, bullshit. Very few. You act like you know, like you've polled all these people. I've polled a lot of them. Sure you have. I've done scientific experiments. I hope you guys let Christina know that there are people that know their dads and their uncles and don't have problems with them that are like...

I'm going to go no. I'm going to make a bold statement. Come on. Anyways, thank you for your birthday wishes. It was a lovely Smurf day today. We had snooshers at our favorite place and the Japanese people sang to us. We did our show and we were recording it. We were shooting a show that we posted pictures of on Instagram.

On the gram? On the Instagram. We posted it on the gram. We got social. We did get social. We posted it on the gram. We've shot a bunch of that. When do we get to...

I don't know. Wait, can I tell you my favorite part about my Smurf day dinner? Yeah. Is that I like to ask wait staff in places where it's obviously inappropriate, like when it's my birthday, I like to go, oh, do you guys sing to people on your birthday? Because it's so awful to have some... Do you guys do a line where they come out and they clap and everything? I especially like to ask Japanese people because it's not really their traditions.

Japanese people are way more reserved, so I ask the waitress, are you guys going to sing to me? She's like, oh, oh, we sing with accents so we sing. They brought over a little piece of ice cream cake with a candle in it and she made eye contact too and she sings. She was really sweet. So sweet and so nice. It makes me so uncomfortable when people sing to me and they make eye contact though.

The birthday song was always uncomfortable. It always makes me feel like I'm the center, I need the attention. That really is for children. Because the kid goes, oh, they're singing for me, but when you're an adult, I feel like... Isn't every adult like, oh, Jesus, please don't do that. It's mortifying. I feel like I get enough attention in my career. So to do it on my birthday, I feel like a real asshole.

I feel like I'm such a narcissist. Everybody sing for me. Everybody pay attention to me. It's all about me. You're like, oh. Oh, my fucking cunt. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not exactly like that. It's a little... My favorite though, my favorite, by the way, is going to find dining. Like a really, like a five-server. Like, do you guys sing happy birthday? Yeah. And they, when they're like, what do you mean? Like they're like, do you really think we do that here?

Oh, God, no. And you're like, no, but I want you guys to sing to me. Like a feral. Just get the other servers together. Get some of the kitchen staff to come out and just, you know, after the S Cargo, have them sing happy birthday and clap. Yep. I guess it's so demeaning.

I've worked in places where they make you sing happy birthday. Really? Of course. It's kind of fun. You know, you're, you know, people are in a good mood generally when they're celebrating their birthday. Being sung to. Yeah.

Yeah, I hear that. It's fun. It's a good time. Um, so... Let's get so short. We're a day late with the episode. Dollar short. Man.

You know what I'm saying? And, uh, so we are still going to do, uh, obviously this is coming up on Thursday, and we're still going to do an episode Friday. Fridays? Friday. But what happened? What happened to our schedule? What?

We couldn't do it. We did a lot of shit. My man, well, we're, we're working on the TV show Tom and I Together, which is so fun and cool. We'll tell you about it when we can. I'm not sure if we're allowed to. And that kind of gotten the way of our, our lives. We were shooting a TV show together, which is super cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Life. Yeah. Because yesterday... You want to talk shit? You're traveling. Yeah.

You came back. I came back, shot the show. What else? I did something else yesterday. What happened yesterday? You're about that pilot. You're working on the pilot. Yeah.

So there's a, I'm working on another show. You guys, it's just show business happening. Your mommies are now in show business officially. You know, when we started this podcast, we were just two douchebags in our underwear, and now we're still two douchebags in our underwear. I'm not wearing any clothes. I'm naked. You're in your robe.

I have a robe, but my balls are hanging out from underneath the bottom of my robe. We got to put a picture of that on the site. Yeah. I'm starting to think in the summertime, you should probably carry around a pair of spare underwear. Four. Well, because I'm sure your nuts are just super sweaty, right? How do you feel about that?

Oh. Mm. That was hot. You like that? No, it was neat. Yeah. Oh, what you sweaty nuts. Is that a thing?

Yeah. Of course. The girls are like, oh, they're so stinky and sweaty. Oh, your balls stink. Your balls stink like a trash bag. Mm. Yeah. Oh, I can smell your balls from down the street.

You got that restaurant garbage dump nut sack between your legs. Mm. Mm. It smells like Joe's crab shack between your legs. Mm. Smells like a gutter on Bourbon Street in July. Give me those fucking disgusting balls. Yeah.

That's just hot, huh? That's somebody's wheelhouse right now. 100%. And somebody is like, God, I wish your nuts smelled more. From talking to people for years as I have, I've been fascinated by people's kinks. And I've, you know, there was a guy I've told on a really early episode, a guy, he got divorced and he was hooking up with different chicks and he goes, yeah, I hooked up with this girl and she was like, I'm having my period.

Is that okay? And, you know, do you feel weird about it? He's like, I don't give a shit. So they had sex. And then her thing was she wanted to clean him off with her mouth. Yeah. Wow. Wow.

And then it happened a couple of times and he was like, it was, it was, it didn't. I'm sorry. Can you not, wait, we can't just roll over this. Like that's a normal. No, I'm making a point about it. So the fact that that is somebody's sexual kink means there's definitely a girl who's like the stinkier, the more rotten those nuts are, the more I want them in my face and my mouth.

So wait, back that ass up. There's a woman who wants to lick her menstrual blood. Not just that. Let's back it up. So this woman was very attractive, a successful practicing doctor, just well put the whole thing that she was, she was aces all around with the first time that it happened. He was freaked out, but he said that like they finished having sex and he was pretty much a mess.

And then she just went down and cleaned it all, every last drop up with her mouth and then he was like really weirded out by it. Oh really? How come? It seems like a really nice thing to have someone. So then, um, then, uh, he introduced it, then they went out socially with like friends and you know, everybody was like, yo man, this, like, this is a home run. Like she's so smart.

She's successful. She's beautiful. She's everything. And then he said the, uh, the second, the next time that they hooked up, um, she also had her period and then was like, I want to clean it up and she did it again. And then he tapped out and everybody was like, he said, all his friends are like, what the fuck is wrong? Why would you break up with that girl?

And then he told them and they were like, oh yeah, that's pretty crazy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like that, that I'm, I don't, obviously she's a doctor, so she would know if there were health risks associated with eating your own menstrual blood. I'm assuming it's okay. It's gotta be okay. It's okay, but that's a lifetime.

I mean, you're signing up for the next 40 some years of every time she's married. If you marry that. Yeah. She's like a cat. She's got to lick up the afterbirth. Do you know, do you think that the reason that she got into that was because, you know, when she was much younger and she first started menstruating, she would just cup it and then eat it?

She associated the fetish with something. Well, I mean, how would you discover she loved that? That's just one of those. That's one of those you can't really wrap your, your mind around. Yeah. Yeah. She must have developed a taste. Oh, it's hard to even.

It is crazy. And it's definitely worthy of, oh, my fucking cut, oh shit, my cut, my cut, my cut, oh. Yeah. Have a bird. There's dudes that like to lick up their own love mustards too. For sure. They listen to this show. What are you talking about?

Of course. Is there a guy out there? Do you like to eat your love mustard? We can find every weird kink in fetish. Okay. Email us. Your mom's podcast. We got a bunch of fart fetish people.

Remember? That to me seems a little more accessible. It's accessible, but it's, you know, farts people try to get away from, generally speaking. And we have people who are like, I love nothing more than a fart. I love to smell those farts. Which makes sense for this show. It makes sense for this show, but like most people, they are not into farts. Dirty and disgusting.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Most people aren't into that stuff. Yeah. Speaking of family, I've decided, by the way, since you got out of having Father's Day with my father and myself, you got out of brunch because you're out of town, I've decided to now keep score on those kinds of things.

Like I'm keeping tabs. So for instance, like since you got out of that, that means that I get to hide from your family. Well, I wasn't hiding. One additional time on that, on the cruise we're about to take, like it exempts me from some kind of activity I don't want to do. First of all, wildly unhealthy thought. Secondly, I wasn't hiding.

You were hiding, you were shirking duties as a son-in-law. You deliberately went out of town so that you wouldn't have to have Father's Day brunch. Cool. I was working in another city supporting our household. You don't see it that way? I mean, I could see you maybe planning around very important holidays with my family. It's convenient that you disappear when it's very important holidays like Father's Day. Very important.

The most important holiday in the world is Father's Day. Everybody knows that. Dads love celebrating Father's Day. Dads really care. Like what did your dad say when you called him? Thanks, buddy. Did you see, it switched, he switched to, ah, that's nice buddy. So I was talking to your mother and he just completely swung and I was like, you're the

best dad. I love you. So he was like, that's nice buddy. I think all for Larry and he's sitting. I was like, all right. That's because dads are the ones who give least shits about Father's Day. Everyone else gives a fuck about it. Dads could care less.

That's the irony of Father's Day. Oh yeah, thanks buddy. Thanks. Nobody cares. So I talked to, he switched it up immediately, had no interest in the conversation. My father and I agreed to not exchange gifts because my birthday is June 18th and he and I were both like, yeah, fucking it. We're both too far too lazy to buy each other.

Wait, his birthday today? No, no. Father's Day was June 16th, I'm June 18th and then his birthday was May 28th, but we don't give each other gifts. That's how antisocial both of us are. But I did find some lovely sunglasses at the ride aid that you can drive at night with. So I got those for him for $9.99. Nice, nice.

The yellow ones? Oh yeah. You can see clearly at night, you can see where you're going. Everything so much, crisper and clear. I can barely see the road. Is there anything I could wear to have clear vision at night? Well now you can. This is Chuck Woolery.

Your eyes not really see. Do they burn? Your eyes burning. Oh, speaking of Chuck Woolery guys, if you haven't got your greasy shirts, get them now because they're a limited edition. We ain't prittin' a bunch of them y'all. There are. Get that shit online.

Two new shirts, they're coming out within a couple, I think within a week. I'm excited about the next one. But then greasy will be gone. Yeah, get it now. Hop on that. There's free shipping. It's a delightful, delightful shirt. You know that the Kings won the Stanley Cup, right?

Oh, they won the Super Bowl? No, the Stanley Cup. Now the Kings are their football team for. No. Who's the quarterback on that team? All right. Well, anyways, for the rest of the listeners, we won. We are champions again, Los Angeles and this was our mayor at the Staples Center in celebration

and this is what I love about Los Angeles. Listen to what our mayor says, but there are two rules in politics. They say never, ever be pictured with a drink in your hand and never swear, but this is a big fucking day. Yeah. That's what's up. How awesome is that? Come on.

That's the best. They're going bananas. And I love that the city, like the people of L.A. are like, yeah, like if you did this in Oklahoma City, they'd be like, boo, that's what's up. Yeah. That's awesome, man. You know why? Because our mayor is a fucking grownup.

Okay. Yeah. I agree, dude. Why not say that for it? It's not. It's funny. People really get upset about that. Yeah.

About language. I was getting my nails did and there was some movie playing and they just dropped an F bomb in the movie and the person doing my nails like, oh, I'm so sorry. I go, why would he sorry for world grownups here? It's a movie. It's so stupid that words are bad. I don't fucking understand it. Yeah.

Of course not. It's fucking retarded. That's a really cool clip. I'm really glad that you got that. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

Your smile is like, yeah. I never even heard the guy talk before. Do you know his name? Garcione. Pretty close. Garcione. No. Rudy Giuliani.

That's him. That's the mayor of Los Angeles. Timsdale. Mayor Rudy Eric Garcetti Giuliani. Rudy. Garcetti. Garcetti. Garcetti.

Now. No. Now. Garcetti. Yeah. Yeah. Is he a Latin guy? Is he a taco weeder?

You know, the thing is, pal. Is he a frijoles guy? He's a beater. Babe. Don't you call them beaters? Jesus. What? It's a fucking wop.

It's a dago, grease ball. It's a Italian. Great. Oh yeah. That word beater makes me laugh so hard. It's not the dumbest thing to call somebody a beater. I think it's a pretty... It's super funny to me.

It's super funny to you, as are a lot of words that are not appropriate to say. But you're very familiar with... Big words. I mean, again, someone's going to make a beater song for you. Oh, I love it. Beater is so silly to me. I'm sure it's very offensive to serve people this thing. That's one of the things that you do.

You go, this is very offensive to somebody. It's so funny to me. It's such a silly... Especially growing up in LA where everybody is Mexican. It's just silly. It's a silly word. Would you say it a lot? Beater?

As an ironic joke, like, you know, me and my friends. But never to two-set, like, oh, you fuck a beater now. Nobody really says beater, like, it's old school. But isn't it like, wasn't it an insult, though? It's like colored or something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, beater is a bad thing to call a Mexican.

A Mexican person. But I've never actually... I've never heard someone call someone a beater. Really? No. Not that I recall. That's why it's such a stupid word. Like, who says beater?

Well, how would you guys say it growing up, though? Well, what do you mean? Well, in what context would you use? Because there's a Cheech and Chong. Remember that movie? It was Up and Smoke? Yeah. Where Cheech and Chong are singing a song and he goes, beater.

It's a song called beater. I remember asking my dad, what's a beater? And he told me, like, oh, it's like slang for Mexican. But isn't it like a pejorative term? Absolutely. It's like colored. But you're very casual, I'm saying, with your usage. About beater.

Well, I don't... Because I'm not calling somebody a beater right now. The word itself, beater, is ridiculous. Big words. You're just egging me on. How dare you. I'm not egging you on. You are, Paula.

You want me to Paula Dean myself out of the podcast world. No, I'm saying you're very comfortable. Beater, it's silly. Nobody says beater. Who calls anybody a beater? I mean, you can't do it with a straight face. It's such a silly word. Okay.

What do you call Mexicans? Mexicans? Okay. Insult. Oh, a cholo, yeah. Fuck a cholo. But even that's like... It's kind of...

But we have a different reaction to cholo because here it's like... Cholos are cool. It's like dudes. Yeah. But I have a Spanish influence from another country. In Peru, cholo is a very, very, very pejorative word. Very derogatory. Extremely derogatory.

Cholo is like what? Like a gypsy? Yeah. It's like the natives, like the native Indians in South America. Well, in Peru, when you say cholo, it means like... It's just the racial pejorative word. So you say it and it's highly offensive. Yeah.

It's not funny. But here, cholo is like super bad motherfucker. Yeah. They're pretty funny. Or even in... There's a lot of other Spanish-speaking countries where you go cholo and it has no influence. But, you know, every country obviously has their own... Oh, yeah.

In Hungary, the gypsies, tigines, they hate gypsies. In Hungary, dude. What do they call them? Tigines? But is that a pejorative word? I don't know. I think that's the proper word for gypsy. Yeah.

What's the slur though? But that's the thing is like... That's what you... Roja tigine. It's like you're rotten tigines. Rotten gypsy. That's usually how I've always heard tigine. How is it?

Arroja tigine. Arroja tigine. Like rotten piscosh. Nah, not piscosh, but arroja tigine. This is bad. I love that. I love it. It's so fun.

People hate other people. Like, I wonder... Well, Eastern blockers, I'm pretty low on the totem pole. As far as Europeans go, I mean, we're fucking Euro trash. I don't know who's beneath. Hungary. We're pretty down. Oh, yeah.

In terms of like, you know, you got your nice Western Europeans that you're English, French. You know, French. You guys got those big things. Norwegians. Swedish. Man. Sweden. Italians.

And then, you know, my country is like, you know... I would love to be dropped off there, though. With all those big tits? Oh, man. So many big titties in Hungary. Oh, my God. I know. All those blonde big tits.

That's all it is, dude. And they're like, look, the only way you're getting out of here, you got to fuck your way out of here. Yeah. You know? Now, actually, it's not a lot of blondes. I took that back. There's more brunettes in Hungary.

Whatever. They can all get it. Oh, you got it. You got it. Now, didn't you tell me Rocco Sofredi, my friend, my dear confidant, my good friend Rocco? Yep. Your buddy. That he was giving away porn during the soccer?

First of all, a couple crazy, what's it called, news updates from the World Cup, because this is World Cup related. I cannot believe Spain is out. What the fuck happened? Yeah. I'm not like a huge fan of soccer, obviously, but I've always known Spain to be huge in it. Spain, England, Hungary was in the World Cup, I remember in the 90s.

Well, this is a really, really, really interesting thing that Rocco has put out there. Rocco Sofredi, the porn. Yeah. Makes the pornos 50 or 50 now. No. 50 year old. The hog doesn't look 50. Yep.

Okay. Then that hog is healthy hog. It looks like four dicks tied together. A bundle of dicks. It really does. Super dick. That dude has a cock on him. No.

You're telling me. Wow. Wow. He is. Yeah. Believe me, if Rocco's in you, you're full all out. Oh, my fucking cut. Oh shit.

My cut. My cut. All right. So he has appeared in more than 1300 movies. Films. Feature films. Feature films. As Yoshi would say.

Yes. He's a big star. He posted a video on his Facebook page to announce that he will forgo sexual activity for the entire time his national team, Italy, is in Brazil competing for the World Cup. While an obvious stretch, he hopes his sacrifice will enable a nationwide collective orgasm with Italy wins. I love that. Yes.

He said, guys, I've had thousands of orgasms, but there is one I'll never forget, the one I had with all of you. Do you remember when we won the World Cup in 2006? So for that collective orgasm to happen again, I am prepared to go without my orgasms. Wow. He first appeared in films in 1987 when he was 23. He is known for treating women roughly in his videos. His charming act typically involves smacking them, pulling their hair, and forcing them

to gag on his erect penis. His productions include various series such as Rocco's Perfect Slaves, Rocco's Psycho Teens, True Anal Stories, Puppet Master. You get the idea. Let's see. The aging pornographer briefly retired from performing in 2004 to focus on his family. He got back in front of the camera in 2009. Let's see.

He acknowledged that his vow of celibacy will bring hard times, very hard. He's very serious about this. Let's see what he says about, this is Rocco on rough sex. How are you doing? Good. Good. Good. So we make the movie called I Love It Rough.

I want to know why you like it rough. Well, I like it rough. I guess I'm the wrong person to ask because I have been all my life. They say I'm very rough, so you should ask all the lady that they've been doing sex why I like rough. I like rough because where do you want to end it? I mean, at the end it's always very mysterious. You never know where it ends and you always dance, doesn't end too far because otherwise

you finish by yourself. But anyway, I love rough because the passion brings up, brings ups, it builds up. If you stay stable and flat, it's difficult to do rough. So basically the things goes together. You have to be passionately, you cannot be rough and without liking and without loving what you're doing. So basically there is two things that goes together, passion, very high, chemistry between the people very high and then you call that rough, I call that fun.

Thank you for the good work. Ciao. Ciao. Thank you. See you. Bye. I don't understand what you were saying. I didn't understand that analysis at all.

He's like the Stephen Hawking of pornography. I didn't understand his theory at all. You're saying that was just super advanced explanation. The thing is, you know, there's a passion, there's a chemistry and then if you don't know where it ends, you cannot begin. You know where you come from? The moon is like two steps for the mankind. It sounded scientific and philosophical.

It sounded intelligent but I don't, I'm not sure I understand other words. Yeah. Yeah. Well here he is talking about his sacrificing his orgasm. I don't speak Italian. Yeah, I speak Italian. Can I enjoy this? It's such a beautiful language, it's such a great language and even though he's talking

about coming all over the world, it's such a sweet, lovely language. Portuguese and Italian, boy, that's my language. You like those, huh? Yeah. Would you do it rough with Rocco? Of course. That's the only way you do it with Rocco. Man, he would just...

He would tear my taint, I feel like hog that healthy just tears your taint up. But he just explained why it's so good, it's so nice. I saw... There's an end, if you don't know where the end is, you cannot go without the passion and the chemistry. He's Italian, they talk what they want, they talk all kinds and nonsense, those are Italians. They really do. More friends, more fun with some fun audio.

I never ask a friend or family member to watch my dogs, there's no way, there's no way. They think it's all fun and games or something and it's not and dogs can be dangerous and I don't want to have to retrain, I don't want to have to train things out of my dog that are trained in by stupid people. No one is going to love your dog as much as you love your dog. I don't trust anybody like that. If I'm going to leave my dog with somebody, I'm going to find a trained professional to leave my dog with.

You love this guy. I love him so, I get it dude, I fucking, I feel this bro. Peter Cain man. If you see somebody walking down the street with their dog and the dog is being good and it healed, don't whistle to it, don't say a fucking thing, never indicate to the dog anything, the dog is being good. If you like encourage the dog to come over and pet you or be petted by you and it's on a leash, the owner is going to have to correct the dog, you're getting the dog in trouble

you dick. Well you didn't play the whole park, yeah it's so good. There's no way, every time, you have no idea how many times I hear about the dog that is left with a friend that ends up biting somebody or some other stupid thing. Don't trust your friends, family members, nobody is going to love your dog and make decisions based on logic, not emotion, other than yourself. Only trust yourself with your dog or contact a trained professional that you can pay to make sure that you, to keep your dog out of harm's way.

Seriously, don't trust friends, they're the worst, they're the worst. He says it, I never heard that from him. My friends are the worst, they're the worst. You know what I love about Peter? He's a fucking nut, like I got into his whole YouTube channel dude, what's his full name, do you have it there? Kane, Peter Kane. Peter Kane, look him up on YouTube, you guys are going to die.

He lives like Dr. Doolittle, at one point in one of his videos, a fucking pigeon lands on his head and he's in his apartment, like he just has pigeons. There's all kinds of shit in this apartment. He's like an animal hoarder, he's a dog trainer, he's making a fucking, he's just fired up, I love him, I love that he's so fired up, he hates everything, it's fantastic. So does he have it out for Caesar Milan? Yeah, he hates Caesar Milan. And why?

Just because he thinks like, he just thinks his methods are dumb and he's like, why? He goes, there's like a, he built like a center for dog training to look like a living room. Why not just use your actual living room, asshole? Okay, hold on, because I pulled one up, I haven't heard it though. Everyone hates Caesar Milan, all these dog trainers? Yeah, they really do, we got emails from a lot of dog trainers, remember when we brought them up originally? Yeah.

People were like, that guy's fucking asshole. Well, now that I've had the dog for a year and I've kind of watched Caesar, like I don't, I kind of agree with the people that have written to us about Caesar being wrong about shit because- He doesn't use positive- Well, it's just like you're just intimidating the shit out of this dog, like that, is that really constructive? I don't know, I mean, I'm not a professional, but-

Yeah. Let's see what this guy says. I had a new show out, so I went on Hulu and found it and it's called Caesar 9-1-1. Yeah. And in the first case, the dog, it's so unmemorable, I don't even want to talk about it, you know, in that episode we find out that Caesar has spent millions of dollars, it looks like building the annex where it's a building that has stuff a normal house would have in it. So nobody lives there, but I guess they'll take a dog over there to train it like it's

in a real house. Why wouldn't you just use a real house? You know? Seems like a lot of money to be wasted, Caesar. But it's your fucking dough, so I don't care, do whatever you want with it. In the second one, that's where I had to turn it off because Caesar looked like a real jerk. And I'm sorry, Caesar, it's, you know, it's two harnessed dogs.

All the dogs were dogs on harnesses, by the way. And then so on the second one, they're meeting at a park, and here's an owner here with a harness dog, and here's an owner here with a harness dog, and they have them come together and meet in a big field, and then Caesar is down at the other end, about 150 feet away, watching this fucking time bomb come together, right? So of course it ends up in a fight, you know? It's like one of the guys is older and just being drug around by the harness dog, you know?

It's just terrible. So Caesar, the professional, he knew what was going to happen. What's the matter with you, dude? You know, say stop the production. You know, this is what it needs, the show needs to be about. Why did you let that happen? You let the dogs, you know, get in a fight like that? You didn't step in until there was blood?

You should have stopped everything. Stop! You know? What's the matter, man? Peter doesn't get that TV is being made. I watched Caesar and I go, oh, I don't even know what episode he's referring to because I started watching Caesar 9-1-1, and that's just a setup. That's to show what's happening with the dog.

I love that Peter gets fired up. There's another video I sent you about him addressing his haters. It's fucking amazing. It's on that same document. Peter addresses his haters? Oh, it's in that document? Oh, hold on. It's right under the first video we just made.

Oh, I'd love to see him address his haters. This one's my favorite. This explains it all about Peter, if you're wondering what's going on with this guy. Okay, hold on. This might help. Now, if you're fucking walking your dog... I love his passion. I love anybody that gets fired up about something like this.

It's so endearing to me. It makes me laugh so hard. You can tell he really loves animals. He really does love his dogs. He definitely does. What happened to this document? Why isn't this one highlighted? The other one is highlighted.

I should cry about it. I'm going to change your diaper. Oh, it's highlighted. I don't know how to fucking highlight this shit. My shit's all fucked up. Right off the bat, I've been sober for almost 20 years, so those comments are just ridiculous. Everybody that knows me knows I've been sober. Everybody that knows me, they might refer to me as eccentric, but they would never say

that I was wasted. This is as good as it gets. You religious people that think that because I cuss or something that I'm going to hell, I don't really give a fuck what you think. I don't give a shit about your religion. I don't. Nobody cares what you think. His bird's flying around Facebook and you post shit on my Peter Cain page.

That's pathetic. I'm not even friends with you. Everybody on there, I'm friends with. I'm not friends with you. You shouldn't be posting anything. You shouldn't even say hello. I don't really care what your opinion is or you want to come here and tell me what other people think about me as if you know what other people think.

Well, there's some people that like my work. And there's obviously plenty of people that don't give a shit if I say fuck or shit. They just want their dog better. Okay? That's just it. That's it in a nutshell. I can say whatever I fucking want, right, one, because I'm sober and two, you know, I'm working with animals and I'm trying to help animals.

And so if I use expletives, it's to make a point. Grow up. Okay? Just really grow up. Now the people that make the death threats, oh, talk about a bunch of pussies. Do you think that I'm afraid of you? You're sitting behind your computer or your phone and telling me what you're going to do to me.

Do it to my face. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. You know where I live, you know? You know where I live. You can just go on the internet and find me. Come on.

I don't know. If you want to say it, say it to my face because over the phone and the internet, you look like the biggest pussies. Seriously. Oh my God. It's just pathetic. Pathetic. I love him.

First of all, sober for 20 years. That's how he opens the whole thing. First of all, I've been sober for 20 years. Like who opens their YouTube video with that sentence? Fucking Peter Cain, man. He's out of his gore. I want to, I think we need to dig through a lot more of these because this guy, this is a treasure trove.

Really good stuff. That's just the beginning. I haven't had a chance to watch this, but apparently we have another song about a city. Let's see if you can figure out what this is. I haven't seen it. Fun times in Cleveland today. Cleveland. Come on down to Cleveland town, everyone.

Come and look at both of our buildings. Boston food that's prepared near the street. Who knows you might even see this guy? Oh, it's a joke video though. I like the real ones. Me too. It's just like people have always been trying to get us to play, you know what I'm saying? It's from like TV shows and movies, but it's not the same as a real, you know what I'm

saying? Yeah, that's why ours are so better. Right. The scripted, you know what I'm saying, is not ever going to compare to an authentic, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? But what means the world to me is just like, you know what I'm saying? Success and taking care of my family and you know what I'm saying? Taking care of the loved ones around me and helping build like, you know what I'm saying? My company and everybody around me that, you know what I'm saying? I love and just seeing like everything go from like nothing all the way to being like a major corporation like Idraman Records is official now. You know what I'm saying?

Like Idraman Production has been doing this thing for a minute and you know what I'm saying? Taking my little homies like Ray Shremer, you know what I'm saying? Homeless at one point. You know what I'm saying? Double digits. Coming from Tupelo, Mississippi. In 30 seconds. Them having like the hottest song out right now.

No flex zone. You know what I'm saying? We're definitely double. Just all that. And like, you know what I'm saying? Continuing to continue. I mean, I can go all day, man, like when I bought my mom a car. You know what I'm saying?

Geez. I remember I had got a check and I had just landed in Atlanta and I went and bought my mom a car of cash. What kind of car? It was an Infiniti. It was an Infiniti. What? What do you call them?

SUVs. Infiniti. 85? No, that's the X35. X35? Yeah. It was an SUV. X35, I think it is.

Yeah. FX35. Yeah. I bought it at cash and then I bought this big house in Atlanta. You know what I'm saying? And then I had my mom in there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

No, we get it. Yeah. But that's, you know what I'm saying? That's a really good one. Yeah. He really tried to explain. Yeah. It just threw his hat in the ring.

He was like, I want to be considered at least a consideration of the championship. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I like that Asian Girl. She goes, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah.

That's a really good one. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? No, I'm saying. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I like that Asian Girl.

She goes, you know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, that's a really good one. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. やんたい. Yeah, she's like it. Go. What is it? I'm saying.

Is she under Asian? You know what I'm saying? Is that what's called? Yeah, that's the only Asian you don't say. We have on record. I think she was called Asian. You know what I'm saying? But I don't know if I.

There's not a lot of Asian people that use that phrase. No, no. Well, I don't know if there's not like a lot like the way that, you know, you know, I mean, this is the. It didn't get away. You know what I'm saying? They made a, I'm a player at the end. It was a questionable travel call.

You know what I'm saying? It didn't go our way. And they made a decent play. You know what I'm saying? I had a good look. MC had a better look. You know what I'm saying? So it was just, I'm saying they made a, they made one more plays and we did, man.

It wasn't. I feel like it's white people. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? No.

You know what I'm saying? No. Don't say that. The best part is that she doesn't actually speak English. She's just heard that so much. Yeah. It has been beaten into her head so many thousands of times she's heard. You know what I'm saying?

That she goes. You know what I'm saying? She's just parroting the way I sing along to my Brazilian music. I have no idea. I have some idea what they're saying. Not really. What's the name of that song? The national song.

Oh. Oh, yeah. That one. That's the best one. I've been hearing that. They play it all the time now because of the World Cup, like every, all the coverage as they like swoop in. Good song.

They play that song. Yeah. And I like, now there's another one that goes, beam, boom, beam. Oh, so many good songs. So many. This is like unofficially Brazil's national song. Let's listen to it. Sergio Mendez, right?

Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Brazil. Make you want to find somebody. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Here we go. Here we go. Ready. Here we go. Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready.

It's beautiful. It's really nice. Can I tell you? Yeah. I start to listen. I listen to this Bossa Nova. This music Sergio Mendes and the Brazil 66. This is the Salvo Nessan.

And I listen to this in traffic. And it's like stress melt. I don't know what it is, man, about this Brazilian Bossa Nova. Like Elise Regina and Jau Gilberto. And Jau Gilberto. I love it. Listen to your pronunciation. I'm telling you, I'm learning Portuguese through these songs.

I can say like one or two. I can say Corozo. Oh, this is, I'm fluent. This is my favorite one. You like this one? It's a best song. Yeah. This is music that you and I see eye to eye on.

I love it. Oh, well, yeah. Yeah, man. I'm not gonna listen to this. Yeah. Yeah, with the. That's true. Come on.

You can't be angry and listen to this music. You should, or Rocco doesn't listen to this. You can't be in a bad mood and listen to this. I grab you by the back of your head and then there's a passion. As a game is that you don't know where to end. You have to have the walkway to the path to know that it will end. Rough sex is my favorite. Not to this.

She is. But fuck me with your heart. It hurts her. Beautiful. Yes, he would give his heart. But it's there when she walks to the sea. She looks straight at him. Oh, my God.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I had a little technical problem there. Did you know that Sergio did my skin? Not with a. It's my. My.

My skin. Not that with the black eyed peas. No. There's a million remakes of that. I'm sure there are. It's like the national anthem of Brazil. Brazil. Let's hear them.

I was a baby. That's my new favorite song. I was a baby. No. It's ruining it already. I'm just saying what it sounds like. They ruined it all. It's garbage.

Now that's gank for Fergie. What happened to her? Wasn't she like a huge star for a minute? They all are. They retired the band officially. Oh, they did. Because I worked on Chelsea at the time. Yeah.

They just wanted to retirement for a minute. Retirement. But don't they like, why do these? I mean, not that I was dying to hear more from them, but like, why do you retire at the height of your fame? You know, it's it's like people that leave hit shows. Too soon. Like just ride the wave because it's not going to last forever,

kids. Cash your checks. I don't know. You know what though? I was thinking of jeans as I was listening to the Beatles today. And our car alone. You know, I was listening to such songs as help. And what's that song?

Let it be. Yeah. And come together. All those songs. And I really, I was like, you know what? Biggie Smalls. Yeah. He's made songs just like this.

And you're back to trashing him. Really? The thing is, is that, you know, what I realized we need is a stereo. Like, what does this have to do with you trashing the great? I'm sorry. I didn't, that didn't, that came out wrong. I'm so sorry. It was so disrespectful.

Why do you, why do you disparage him? Why do you have to talk about? I didn't mean to be very condescending right now about Biggie Smalls. It's notable in the way that you're saying he's equally talented to the Beatles. The point is not everybody likes your gay shit. You ever think about that? The Beatles is everybody's gay shit. Yeah.

But no, I'm talking about you in particular. No, I like a lot of gay shit. The Beatles is universally beloved as one of the biggest, most influential. I don't care how influential they are. Gooder than a bitch bands of all time. Suck my butthole. Oh, wow. The point is.

I hate every member of the Beatles. Keep going. I gotta tell you. Nobody hates Paul. You hate Paul McCartney, who shares my birthday, June 18th, Paul McCartney. Now that I know that, I hate him more. I'll tell you the only, the best memory I have of the Beatles is I remember just getting so excited as a child when I heard that Lenin died.

You know what I hope? What? I hope you get leprosy. I'm married to you. I don't give a fuck. You were happy. You weren't even alive. You were one year old.

He died in 1980. He was killed in 1980, rather. Yeah. My parents woke me up to tell me this. Wake up. We gotta tell you something good. You were a baby, dumb, dumb. I know.

They woke me up and told me the story. Okay. Well, the point of the story is I was thinking that we should get a stereo like the ones I grew up listening to because you can't listen to fucking music on an iPhone. It's wrong. It's wrong. We need like a stereo, bro. Do they even sell them anymore?

Stereos? Yeah. Of course they do. Places like amazon.com. But if you want to do your shopping, go to your mom's house podcast.com and make sure you go through that bookmarked amazon banner. You should bookmark our banner. It's on your mom's podcast.

Please do. You can buy your stereos. Oh, by the way, weekly we get messages via Twitter, Facebook, and our email account, your mom's podcast at gmail.com that tell us about how whatever device somebody is using, our site is not supported through the browser. I don't know what to tell you. I have an iPad, a MacBook, and an iPhone, and I can access our site on Chrome, on Firefox, and on Safari.

I don't know if maybe you need to run an update or what, but I'm saying like people are like, hey, when I land on your page, my browser crashes or I don't see, I mean, what are we supposed to do? I don't know what to do. I don't know. It's definitely not a problem for the stuff that I have, so I don't know how to direct people. Yeah, I use Chrome and it seems to work fine.

I mean, I'm looking at it right now on my computer. Yeah, and it works on Mozilla. All right. So here's the point. I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having this problem. I literally think you need to try another browser or make sure you run the update from the browser that you use because I can't find anything else. Now, you're so big on the Beatles and all their smash hits in quotation marks, but have

they ever had a hit like this? I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having this problem. I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying

to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I'm not trying to be rude to you if you are having a hit like this, but I told you dog, I told you don't make me some fucking pancake or what which song do you want to hear on the way out? I'm a boss ass bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch yeah keep sending your bad songs songs that are no good please send them to your mom's podcast at gmail.com sorry again about the delay there's nothing we could do about it we love you very much though

I love your jeans hey can we hear like FIFO's song? yay okay I think I love that one god damn y'all are lazy oh that one too bye guys nice titty lady fat white man

god damn y'all are lazy fat white man nice titty lady fat white man god damn y'all are lazy high flute high flute high flute

so high flute god damn y'all are lazy fat white man nice titty lady fat white man so high flute so high flute high flute

high flute fat white man fat white man nice titty lady so high flute god damn y'all are lazy