Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 233-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 25, 2014

There are kids here so please SIT YOUR WHORE ASS DOWN! That's a pretty aggressive way to address a fellow passenger, but we all have our days. Chuck Woolery blames Canada and wants to take them down! Will you side with him? Our bed is old and we are ready for a new one - where do you sleep, outside? On nails? Share your experience.  Tina's fart game has been raised and the Mommies make a promise to stop droppin bombs - can they keep it? REAL TALK - The Gypsies are back and White Trashier than ever. S**T just got way worser, ya'll. Will we ever eradicate them? This episode is like a bag of chips going into a bowl. 

My fellow Americans, there's no question we are hooked on foreign oil, and we're looking everywhere to feed our addiction. So I've been thinking a lot about Canada lately, or as I like to call it, America's top hat. It's a well-documented fact that Canadians secretly want to be Americans. It's also well-known that Canada is brimming over with oil. 188 years worth. So let's kill two birds with one stone.

Invade Canada. Trust me, it will be easy. We'll get their oil and they'll keep things clean. After all, their national sport is sweeping. Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic!

Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic!

Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic!

Welcome to Amar fantastic! Welcome to Amar fantastic! You played the shit out of that song you know I love when I went Jesus man why don't you have me do it while you sit back because you don't know how you don't know how I like it loud but you can direct me well it's better if I do it because I hate you so much I hate you I hate you you know what I love you so much more than I love you if this house is on fire I grab the dog and not you I would wake up the dog before I woke you listen up dog listen up see now

you get agitated when I say turn me up and there you go that's barely and drop okay I like to get the rush limbo that's there okay I like when guys are playing and they look at each other and they go like they give a little like nod and a smile and so like we're doing it man we're rocking bros my favorite couple things already we got to talk about that we've already heard so let's get this out of the way it's just just got way worse on that is a man on the sky train there's a girl wearing a really really short skirt her ass is actually hanging out of it she's walking in circles on the on the train and then the guy goes

sit your whore you're disgusting which is really funny to me somebody just sent that to us here you can hear it again she says that immediately and goes stop yelling but do you think it's a good example to set for your child it's fun to scream at the whore of course a woman who you don't know if she is a whore and call her disgusting and yes that's leading like a dad that's what kids need to learn is to yell if you don't like how somebody's dressed publicly shame them mm-hmm you should always yell at strangers and we don't even see the kid I mean who know the kid might be like right

okay Tom you think a child's jerking off and panting maybe that's why the dad was like shit gotta do something about that's what you did as a kid that's why no probably top dog took you everywhere and you know buddy you got to put your dick away buddy when did you start drinking your hog I think about six yeah yeah I didn't know what it was I didn't know that I was masturbating I I just figured out that I could push it up on the mattress like yeah and that a funny feeling would come after a while and then I started to pinch the skin and play with the foreskin and I would get that funny feeling six seven eight years

how gross are kids yeah how is it grow I bet it's gross when you see your kid doing that and like what do you do you should definitely shame them right at that age absolutely touching yourself is wrong stop touching yourself and I had teachers yell at me put that big dick away yeah put that enormous hog away for a six-year-old just walking on me jerking that chain that's so I bet your mom saw you jerk it all the time yeah my mom she walked in now she would just be like are you are you looking at both no good at me she asked you that she's asking before sure and but you're like absolutely not of course not and then

when you started to really beat your meat as a adolescent did you did you have a lock on your door no I was doing it a lot of course yeah it's normal yeah I mean I was jerking it blowing loads in and on chicks oh please showers please what do you mean please in and out chicks when you were 12 oh yeah but I was I was banging like 17 18-year-olds because I had such my game was so tight I'm just a new girl I'm so into you girl I'm looking at you for across the room I can't think of nothing else was that your game when you were yeah I'm like yeah how you doing on those math tests and then I would I would

open my book yeah like heck you have it with this problem and it would just be like a like a use condom I'd be like I got one for you too that's cool used one to show them that you can really feel that I know what I'm doing exactly and girls are always like oh yeah wow he's really something this guy yeah that's what girls say when you preposition them like that yeah wow I was like an ax you so when did you so you started beating your meat like it six yeah but then the real stuff doesn't happen until you're oh my god so much right yeah wow well I was actually very very late I was very intimidated I was very horny but very

like scared of rejection very fearful so I didn't make moves for a long time like well in the high school yeah yeah I like that about you really well that's why I like you that's why that's why your marriage material not some you know scumbag who has to stick it in everybody you know but I wanted to I just didn't yeah that's okay I like you that way I think you're clean you're pure like a gypsy woman like I want I want you to be like you're clean girl not dirty girl and before we get to that go ahead them can we talk about this Chuck Woolery video that's real that we just played at the very top of the show because I love

Chuck this is real it's not a it's not a joke video it's from his I thought it was an Impressionist that didn't sound like him no nope nope he's just like Canada we would kill that would crush them take their oil they like to sweep it's so mean who hates Canada Chuck Woolery it's great it's insanity believe me it'd be easy that doesn't mean you should do it of course not dumb dumb such an idiot maybe this is his it's so mean that they like sweeping well this is his version of satire he's like guys I thought you were comedians do you not have a sense of humor yeah but that's you know let's see what else he says

and as we all know they don't lock their doors everybody's high and nobody carries gun even their police use primitive weaponry and their military is made up of two mountains canoe and a flying squire so let's stop with the dangerous deep-sea drilling and let's send a battalion of cross-eyed redheaded girl scouts to take over why is he why is he with his diction why is this but that's why I didn't think it was Chuck that's him because he's right to Mount he's in the canoe yeah he doesn't it doesn't sound like Chuck this is not the Chuck I know in greasy it's not him we'll get our oil we'll have a cold place to

move to in case Al Gore is right in case though he isn't that's my favorite now are the guys that are dead sure that there's no such thing there is no such thing it's global and how do we know the earth is round we don't know that have you traveled the earth and seen it no you don't know that's you have you been to outer spaces have you look back on the earth you don't know was around drop some more science on us Chuck so watch out hosers I'm Chuck Woolers trying to save America one trillion dollars at a time I think comedically let's break it down why it didn't work I think comedically because nobody nobody dislikes

like you get you have to hate Canada in order for that bit to work I don't know do you yeah like if it was the enemy but we were poking fun at people that essentially we like and they're neutral and they don't do awful things I think part of it was I think his performance is actually what made it not work I think you can you can invade your neighbor that you like but he should have the way that he did it too slow it should have been back in Canada yeah and faster pace and then you go like oh silly or yeah it was they don't even have got this flying squirrels yeah like that yeah you know who would have done that

better Jerry Lewis that guy's such a genius Jerry Lewis is the fucking man we got epic Canada yeah the glasses on here he is right fucking here Jerry Lewis you know it's good I was talking to my dad and he goes to Jerry Lewis he's never been funny the guys never fucking funny I'm like that's why you're my dad he's the worst he's the worst he's the friends are the worst that guy's the worst man Jesus sounds like a porno yeah that's a porno Jerry Lewis that's a so anyways we had a fucking terrible night of sleep again terrible night our

bed just so you know the mattress that we sleep on I inherited it when I was 28 I'm 38 now 10 years ago from a girl who owned it for like five years that mattress this mattress really you never told me that do you know fucking old this piece of shit why are we sleeping on an inherited I thought it was your mattress negative why did you never bring that up because it probably gross yeah it's doing it right now we could have fucking resolved this a long time yeah it's super old it sags and it's too small like last night done I I woke up and your elbow was right in my eye like the sharp party pointing part it's just

I can't sleep I can't turn because you're all over me and you're sweaty like a big bear you're hot it's my back hurts every morning it's the fucking it's the worst friends are the worst so here's my preposition and listeners you guys mommies help me if you've heard anything about these two companies because I fucking hate Matt everybody hates Matt there's two internet companies right now that are like fucking shit up with the mattress industry yeah one is called satva I don't know how to pronounce it SAA TV a SAA TV a and it's like the super it's supposed to be like the dopest shit like dope mattress mm-hmm they

deliver it there's no store there's no store that's right that's the key and they it's like you know it's like $900 for the mattress plus they give you a frame and all that shit a total up the cursing okay and then what else okay satva and I'm looking I just has anyone actually purchased this is it any good good I'm puberty that's what I wanted to ask you when did your voice change the changing I mean I guess it changes for a while but like the they it starts to go like with with puberty check you know hitting you so it's like six seventh eighth eighth grade I think it's six or seven because you're so hairy that you

started puberty when you were in sixth grade were you like Peter Brady were you were singing one day in choir and then you're like no but there's like class things you know like you'll be like raise your hand you're like why and you always cracks horrible it's mortifying when you're that age especially you because you got that real gravel like deep masculine bear voice no you have the deepest voice in the industry Tom in the industry in the in the podcast business in the adult industry no it's a real talk your voice is like it's so deep and masculine no but I have morning voice right now it's very seductive

it's not normally this deep this is tell everybody what you can do with their dicks fellas do me a favor pull those meaty cocks I got two hands a mouth and an entrance that's also an exit tell them how fast I can make all you guys come in just a few seconds don't you believe it guys with that voice so here's us here's the deal satva versus now there's other bed I'm looking at who's the other bed called Casper which Allison Rosen told me about and the Casper bed is the temporary version of the online bed so it's like it's like a thousand bucks same shit different toilet and they deliver it to you it's

online it comes from the East Coast so mommy have you bought this bed what do you know about these companies do you know do you know the people at these companies that might want to sponsor your mom's house to get us a fucking mattress we'll read your ad copy here's the thing we you know it's a lot we've got a lot of other things to buy yeah right is that how I phrase that I don't know point is do we know these people help us get a new bed all right yeah sure yeah of course we need a new bed yeah that question that's terrible and anyways we made a pack last night around 11 30 p.m. that we weren't gonna fart anymore that's

true we did make that pack that we've seen and done enough of that and you you had eaten before I got home and when I got home you were really dropping heat and you especially dropped it in the bedroom and I said let's put an end to this it's funny it was my fart that prompted the end of days here the smell was horrendous thank you I had eggplant and I think it's the eggplant that does it actually oh there was a no farting policy in our home and guess how long that lasted eight hours what happened well we woke up I woke up to the sound of you farting in Theo's head on his head I don't think Theo appreciates it

you fart right on that dog's head every morning he's right there by your bum and you know he's there and you fart on him because you like to watch his ears flutter they do flutter because he looks for the sound it's like Theo hasn't figured out what farts are he'll never figure it out maybe he's a dog like you told me one time he's not a very smart person he's a dog it's so much fun to fart like right on him because he his ears go what was that they flutter he's an Ewok yeah what's that and then he doesn't like the smells no he'll leave he'll leave if you really drop one on him he really does anyways so the band on

the farting lasso and then we we Tommy made me some white trash birthday cake that I love holy shit shit so good dude gooder than a bitch yellow cake with chocolate frosting out of the box so that's what I that's my favorite and you made that for me thank you very much mm-hmm was so good and we've been eating it now since how many days is that cake been out Friday days of days Monday so we've been eating it piece by piece the key is to just use you eat directly out of the pan yeah 13 by 9 pan you don't you're supposed to take a cake out of the pan if you do it proper and put it on like you know some serving tray but

nope you leave it in the pan you leave it in the pan and we've been using you use one spoon mm-hmm and you leave the spoon in the pan and you cover it with hello you didn't even mention that had a design on it oh Jesus it was like really professionally designed why don't you tell them what the design well I went to baking school for a week and then I got a whole bunch of decorative things and I got this nice white frosting to go on the Chucky for those Chucky base layer and then white like a flower petal and then white flower petal stuff on top and in a red decorative writing it said happy be day tits yeah and then it had

these big white yeah thank you and then you made my candle say 28 which I appreciate it because I did I just turned 20 yeah what's gonna happen here wait you realize it so much look forward to that personality though goes more with 18 right not 28 28 like what's gonna happen oh my god though my whole future's ahead of me I don't know what to be in this world 28 year olds are really fucking slow I'm so confused what's my calling well you know I don't think that these people want to hear about cakes and bad now this is kind of big news the secondary mommy Christina I'm sorry funniest wins this is a big

new show on TBS hosted by Marlon Waynes and Wayans and aired and you got a whole bunch of like feedback what can you tell us lots of positive energy my favorite is so I didn't the East Coast aired first on obviously and I didn't see I so I got these texts coming in and I'm like what like full charge is like you did great I'm like what are you fucking talking about and then Giggity Greg sends me a vine on Twitter of me asking my favorite question so what happened was on the show Marlon kept just talking to the black contestants I don't know if they showed I haven't watched the actual episode because I'm

mortified by myself but Marlon was like talking to only the black people we were setting up the mission or whatever the thing and I was like what the fuck here and I thought like oh my god wouldn't be rad if I asked if I have to be black to win the show and I raised my hand and I'm like oh do I have to be black to win this contest thinking that a it's just funny for me and for the contestants and either they're never gonna air that course so inappropriate and so racist well they aired it they did and it's kind of my most favorite moment on television Marlon was super cool he actually was really earnest when I asked

that he was like oh my god no like anybody can win this Christina and I felt really bad after I asked it but I'm just glad I got that out if nothing else happens on that show it's the line that every comedian we love I'm so excited that it made air yeah there you go it's pretty amazing I don't want to be a spoiler alert but I have a colossal win and then a reversal of fortune on the first episode right on the very first episode I go from the top of the tops to the bottom of the bottom and it's pretty funny like it's such a metaphor for show business when you think about it like one week you're

fucking yeah of course next week you're like you guys you're the worst that's the worst piece of shit I've ever seen that is a metaphor for show but yeah it's like one minute you're you know here's part of the top and then you're the bottom oh I guess the first time you guys sat with Marlon right here Marlon win he gonna judge who the funniest ever since I was seven years old I have dreamed of Marlon winning spending time with him breathing his air and finally happened it was like a dream come true it's like I became a full-blown unicorn at that point the last black unicorn I love this ready she's

great one of you guys gonna walk away with a hundred thousand dollars cash bow bank cheddar money and a series on my digital network what the funny you don't you just don't buy all her see Billy gonna buy a bunch of change and really really loud sure I'm sorry do I have to be black to win this contest comedy has no color I love being inappropriate I like truth wrapped in a dick joke that's to me feel in a what joke dick joke I want you to win and I don't want to air that you know I know years and I want to sit back proudly and go you know what enough nope we're gonna play the rest of the episode right now like American

Idol did you're Clay Akin's I'm done I'm done see but you see how they were like he was totally blacking it up Billy Surreal's going by chains yeah you can win Christina yeah what about what about my black stuff do I get to win black things gosh but no it was Marlon's very very very sweet and very cool and I ended up well I won't tell you I can't tell you the truth your sister today texted me she's like who on and I'm like I can really tell you or anybody else you're not supposed to do that I signed a million non-disclosure I could get sued for millions of dollars but I'm gonna tell Maria my sister-in-law she's

really good at keeping secrets she's like oh my god it's all about her boss she would tell everybody she would Maria you cannot tell Maria anything she's like what I didn't I didn't realize that like you meant like nobody I think it's all my friends she would she would tell she would tell I told your Facebook yeah she tweeted that yeah I told her today you had the biggest hog oh my god I love to disgust her I feel like she dishes it yeah I love to give it back what you say back anything here I'll read it to you cuz Jane would be more mortified if you told Jane that yeah Maria kind of rolls with the punches Maria does roll with it

let me tell you you're disgusting cuz she goes this is my favorite cuz in the episode I say that I sucked a bag of dicks oh my god which I had no idea they would air which is so funny she told me not to get I go keep eating those bag of dicks we're rooting for you and then she wrote PS don't get calm diarrhea dirty and disgusting what she said what you she said when you said you have a big hog hold on hold on oh I go I go it goes don't you feel like you're fucking a gorilla that's what Maria says about you and I go sometimes but I love gorillas and your bro has a huge hog and she wrote that's so gross you

obviously oh my god you guys are so disgusting you obviously have a thing for fucking animals so tell me who won no so I can have the way and sue me for me yeah lunatic thank you and now let's move it on stuff some more fun guys this is my favorite sound now we watched we watched some big fat American gypsy wedding so good hard when we had DVR we had a backlog so now I've been going through them and just watching them so much fun they're so this season I feel like they're they're grammars even in worser grammars gotten way worse I've gotten way worse sir there's less teeth in this season than ever before the

gene pool is so fucked it's so in bread the dresses are way worse sir than before the girls are younger got that underbite sunken eyes real super low forehead yeah like I'm a man I gotta find me a Romney girl Romney shale is it Romani here I've heard it pronounced Romani shale well why don't we let them say I'm here you go that's it it's worse than what a prostitute would wear light up shoes not tennis heels with glitter on them that light up first of Romney Rockley's act wait hold on it's not glitter it's not glitter right rhinestone no even

it's swarovski crystal oh yeah because that's the that's the blank I won't dress that all playing down I want everybody to know I'm the best gypsy in the world right now crazy sways he's dancing he's troubled cousin Romani shale oh he's not really handsome Jesus Christ what's wrong with people they are so they're like the English Bulldogs of the people world like they're so inbred and inbred that they have problems like the hipster displaced in the eyes and them all are the best people that don't know me and they maybe they always think

I'm a Romney child but I'm a gorgeous and I'm Natalie in love with Romani child gypsy boy Lacey also we've been together for six years going on seven years I have two children bio okay just one day will you marry me it's about time this is a little cross-size you know that this is the best one Lacey see if I name another Romani shale girl don't cheat on me don't treat him wrong like that she's good this is a bulldog yeah wait tell tell the audience what you're looking at right now that horrendous it looks like a cartoon version of a witch like yes the nose the eyes are

pointed out there's not really a chin there's just face neck and then how many teeth does she have it's kind of hard to tell in this freeze frame maybe I should talk a little more the woman that's not a whore seven but do you realize she's talking about her future daughter-in-law yeah a woman that's not a whore that's the that's your grand baby's mama why are we and you know I like that they're TLC this is brilliant by them they dressed up the show should just be called white trash pieces of shit is what they could call the show what they do is they throw the bling on there and they use like this fun music like and then the voiceover ladies like but Lacey's back in love and then

you're like oh I'm watching a lot and they're they know what they're doing yeah they're just they're just showcasing white trash pieces of shit it's so true they're just putting lipstick on the white trash pig yeah and they know what we're not watching it like I hope they fall in love we're like these fucking scumbags I do I think this culture is the the most disgraceful in America right now yeah I actually think honey boo boo that's straight that's straight trailer trash but for some to gypsies are like a step beneath trailer trash like these fuckers are just no these are just they're animals they're absolute animals real dopes Lacey should have found another woman that's not a whore this is Thomas you've done not open your legs for no other man and don't get

screwed by every time that they could harry no more you've never heard of a saying you can't turn a whore into a housewife that's Lacey's sister yeah she's got a lot of space between her teeth his teeth but there's just a lot of space between them you know like yes you want to put stuff there and she's she's clearly inebriated in this interview she's wearing sunglasses in the house for the interview you ever heard of this expression yeah we all know that expression sweetie yeah that goes that's Alyssa my name's camiel I'm 23 years old I'm from Bakersville camiel K-A-M-Y-E-L-L-E what a beautiful name beautiful name people Romney shall name oh she's an Irish traveler I'm an Irish traveler people think I'm I'm Romney but I'm not I'm Irish

can you tell by her Irish uh her brog her beautiful Irish brog brog California and I'm an Irish traveler no you're not hello what are you doing I'm just at the shop right now me and Henry we haven't met yet this is the other amazing thing we haven't met yet we're getting married next week this is like every other episode yeah now I know why like you see you're like where did this fucking lunatic come from he came from a guy and a girl who'd never met who got married at 14 and then fucked a lot Jesus Christ very retired babies you got that almond champagne just show respect we do talk a lot on the phone just so that we can keep connected even though that we're not together okay say right here okay ready drop the blindfolds guys

what are they looking at oh they're looking at just the most beautiful dress it looks like a mermaid fucked a stripper it's got 19 colors and she got one and there's a slit that goes up to the armpit but then on the other side it goes down to the ankle yeah and it has yellow and pink and blue and there's so many crystals playing that just like you like so you can show all the other Romney girls that you're the queen Romney my favorite yesterday there's actually one beautiful gypsy who's trying to be a model oh my she was beautiful she's gorgeous yeah and the sander celli goes i'm i'm i'm gonna give you

the most special beautiful classy red with sequin and then on the inside it's leopard print and feathers and you're like is that a it's like a brothel like a burlesque like a like an old tiny western brothel they would show like somebody who goes this is the fucking most hideous thing i've ever seen in my life and just see sondra go like what just like what the fuck did you learn how to design clothes he's clothes are for a horse yeah what the fuck oh my word oh yeah right i'm calling because like it's all slutty cinderella things you know well this is there's two events the girl has to look forward to actually we'll just won the wedding right she needs to cook clean drop out of high school at 14 and get married baby baby baby baby so this is

their one day where they get to be a princess but why what part of the what dict because they like they'll say things like part of our culture is like you know we're all about family and you're like yeah that's cool being about family yeah but then it's like it's really about being trashy because they're like they're overpopulating um you always see them in fights and they're like well fight it's part of our culture what kind what the fuck are you talking about it's the dumbest culture yeah is being dumb part of your culture you dumb dumb yeah i just getting drunk and fighting and then i had drunk and screwing not speaking english correctly as part of our culture my father hates gypsies too yeah gypsies are the worst well in europe you really get the the authentic hatred

yeah well my father says that at least in hungary they're the fathers are raping the daughters there's incest they're beating the shit out of each other like it's not this magical culture that you see on television to tell you that you probably want to bring my brother a gift mind-blowing okay if he shows up today with no respect and not would have asked of him then there's no chance of a wedding you're gonna show up with nothing this is pointless i might as well just leave leave that brother all right i brother do that you're gonna act like that then you're not even gonna talk to my sister again just go back to wherever you're from and stay out of my life i'm with you sister if you like it or not you got these little cars ran that's the

irish freaky that's irish freaky i'm mariny sister if you like it or not if he's a man he'll fight me rummies and travelers mixing it's gonna be a hard road but i think the ending it's gonna be worth it will you have this woman to be your wife i do elissa i do what's at the wedding always there's always a fight but he's holding hands with her at the altar and says i had her first cousin and then someone says i got sloppy seconds at the wedding while they're at the altar it's classy Jesus one guy has the boxing ring at the wedding so that people can fight and then but it's between the ceremony and the reception right and then one one of them to get married in a barn it's really depressing but they're not poor the thing is these

guys live in like nice houses a lot of them live in like no no they do some of them live in like way better why better houses than we live in some of them don't no it's a lot of them don't but some of them are pretty i guess but there is like i think there is a case for genocide okay i don't know if you want to kill the gypsies talk the american gypsies i don't think that's the answer babe why don't you ask chuck woollery what we should do i'm chuck woollery you know white trash is a problem that's the woollery answer okay does this guy say something just keep them in one state let them move to virginia or wherever they all want to be i cannot believe that somebody said this at somebody's wedding yeah let's hear it screamed out i had her first cousin so sad

jesus christ you fucking asshole broch bewey stop man oh hell bro we're gonna call the police i don't live in your family no more i just never did this you're on my day because my family disrespected me i'm not sticking with my family i chose to keep them and put his own mother and father out you lost the mother and you lost the father oh boy uh old toothy there yeah she wore like a michael jackson hat um with like uh crystals on it they love crystals a hat like that to the wedding and then just jeans and a sweatshirt yeah sometimes they just wear like whatever wife beater they got laying around to the weddings

to the weddings jeans flip flops it's real cool fucking insane these people are insane man all right you know what the guys are no trees cal bell bell i think it's supposed to be faster okay well i mean this isn't not the right kind of cal bell there's um how about uh what about like a uh pack as far as our exciting sounds from making the show more exciting yeah yeah i like that

oh here's one how about uh pouring chips into a bowl that's an exciting sound hey everybody you're pouring chips into a bowl um seriously stop sending us songs okay i don't want to hit anymore are we being serious bad songs it's i'm overwhelmed really yes we mean really a hundred percent it's horrific i have uh i'm all songed out hi hi oh the food came to say hi hi baby oh he's so cute he put this one uh hi baby is really bad you want to hear a really bad one of course they all love them this is by kelly b and uh there's there's this is could be nominated

just it's very genuine sincere sincerity my favorite she tried hard so let me tell you a story about how sexy guys get away with everything it's time for some girl talk i met this dude one night what a sexy dress strong silent type hits the gym every day love said he invites me out for dinner and a night on the town seems like he wanted more than just to show me around we're linking up in the boss hotel room thinking like he's gonna get some boom boom he's got the baby mother girlfriend whatever so he suggests using my credit cards that would be better you think i got my money back

you know that's whack are you smoking crack do you think maybe he just lost track was he just kind of cheap or slack when you're blessed with good looks and a nice body don't think the best things in life this is a fucking pile of shit yeah um you know what though kind of reminds me of vanity six like in the 80s like do you think i'm a nasty girl like it's just that stupid but the words of this are horrifically bad the music is terrible and it do you think i got my money back good just that he's trying to slack it's like 80s rap like the early rap it's so bad that i want more get back because you're sexy this other dude nice guy has a good career tall sexy and bald head we hit surf side to drink some beer we're drinking all night

and a couple of shots Guinness heineken and some peppermint schnapps he's on his way back from the washroom thinking like he's gonna get some boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom is this like a fake jamaican but they're canadian because it's something like that yeah washroom is not american that's right good girl i wonder who the worst shit is from there it's from the worst place that ever existed i wish the gypsy is a big oh actually says in the description american female trumpet singer kelly b formerly with michelle montano and extek with her trinidad carnival there you go trinidad uh you know what the irony is with the gypsies tom is that their music is really good you hear me yeah gypsy music is really good i don't know what their

that's their one superpower now i don't know about these american gypsies but european gypsies they have been in hungry they're the best yeah this one's so bad this is so bad though what can you pull up a hungarian gypsy song i'd like to hear do you know one of course of course here says he lost his wallet ah just my luck you're right and you wonder why women always say men suck do you think i've got my money back you know that's wack are you smoking crack you know that's wack are you smoking cracks good because he just kind of cheap or slack when you're blessed with good looks and a nice body don't think the best things you like god it's good right they should like what if you sent her and the american gypsies to the to the camp hold on i want you to play this guy

lovi lazlo okay lazlo lovi yeah this is the gypsies this is gypsies ready it's good it's better than boom boom okay uh what do you think's worse what's worse also save or that song we heard before this is terrible right i grew up hearing that's like the hungarian national anthem you hear that shit every time you go to like a hungarian restaurant yeah what is the translate you told me is it blue eyed girl it's about being your eyes are pretty it's almost a fucking gypsy

you have blue eyes i was gonna say yeah yeah yes it's better to have blue eyes not dirty brown eyes right it feels so good uh just stop it but every time you go out in hungry for some fucking restaurant the gypsies come around and they they play for you and this is it yeah pretty awful right yep my dad makes fun of that one a lot too yeah uh what's this here this woman performs on pearl street in boulder colorado who the fuck is this here we go let's see if this is horrible oh not much of a song really but certainly a lunatic thank you for setting that

that carry thank you here's an utterly shite song submission from patch let's see this this is called it's pay yeah hip hop has really um cultivated this uh whole thing of where guys have to be tough and taught like yeah like they're gangsters but it's it's good it works when the person really is like a tough person yeah you know hardcore like hard hard fucking core bad ass you but the fake badasses are so hilarious they're hard to take seriously because you're like yeah you're not this guy and i think these guys kind of fall into this category honey you don't want to fucking back come all over the fucking block

yeah you look like four fucking nerds just standing around ready to go to math class you fucking nerds it's exhausting see this this makes me appreciate a biggie smalls yeah because this is terrible they look like um like the west virginia gypsies these guys it's just four white dudes that look really malnourished and they have patchy beards and stuff but they sound like italian gangsters right yeah it's fucking payday uh-huh okay all right yeah you know what that calls for another fucking bowl of chips it's like a fun sound we're having fun now

yeah i hope we can convert the horn to bag of chips on like morning radios i like that much better for morning it's so good yeah um i want more original songs i like your guys original songs less shitty song submissions more og songs sound good yeah i prefer that it's always more fun this came in this is like i don't know i guess this is a sketch from a japanese show someone's okay here's here it is um here's some info about the clip the name of a spoof television situation comedy pilot produced by westners in 2000 filmed in canada the characters speak in japanese accented american english this is

ridiculous here we go it's called tokyo breakfast i don't really know you want me to sing you know what this is oh dad's making coffee you good morning to you negar oh my god this is a stock market is one unpredictable

negar the chicken and bitch you my number one negar oh all right well i think that just goes on and on those are big words yeah those are real big words i'm not sure i approve of that they i think they just they say it every sentence yeah it gets a huge applause break jeez well it's a it's a it's a you know orchestrated a applause break oh i thought i thought i was like japanese people really like no no i think this was

made i i think this is for a film festival like it was you know made purposely like this but funny accents are funny accents yeah big words they're real big words i don't respond to that tom you don't no um apparently this has some crazy you know i'm saying isn't it maybe we can go out on this and see it let's hear it i love it haven't heard it yet so and hold it down for me nigga i respect that y'all niggas better fuck with bg the nigga real you heard me when i travel you know i'm saying to go with you do interviews and this that and the other you

know i'm saying that'd be the first thing i'd eat my old man that she was so real you know i'm saying i mean you know man you gotta respect and you know i'm saying man hold me on this grind you hear me i'm saying that would show you if he was on the streets you know what i'm saying cause he's crying like that from the chill you know what i'm saying so you know if he come on the street you know what i'm saying it'd be like her old 생am You reached out to me you know what i'm saying from chill you know what i'm saying and i forgot a call you know what i said and i was on the phone with you know what i'm saying and he asked me you know him saying he asked me you know the bluster song you know what i'm saying and do the record with you you know what i'm saying

outta respect you know what i'm saying i'm respect that i have for him you know what i'm saying i mean wow you know what i'm saying cause you know the whole city you know what i'm saying see let's do something to get it anyway because you know i mean you know i'm telling keep it real back in the playing you don't know living and care is money you was running to all of you know what i'm saying i don't know baby what's on the ego trip he was on the ego trip you know what i'm it's a lot there's a new challenger in the game who's who really wants to wear the crown i feel like you know what's neat too is that he kind of morphed you know what i'm saying to know i'm zane yeah of course no i'm saying zane it's like no i'm zane yeah yeah i mean that's advanced level

no i'm saying this is like when you it's it's actually you don't have to say the whole you know i'm saying you say no i'm zane it's varsity level oh but no i'm zane i mean this is one you know top 25 yeah this is like the soccer playoffs world cup world cups yeah i mean this is the knockout stages this is sudden death this is like a winner go home this is a winner go home you know what i'm saying this is you know i'm saying or go home yeah you know i'm saying funniest wins wow yeah this is a real wow a challenger to be taken seriously this bg you know we never you know when we was damn near the two hottest companies in the industry we never hooked up and did nothing you know i'm saying so you know it took for me to be doing my own thing you know i'm saying to have my own

situation you know i'm standing here i'm doing his own thing and got his own situation you know i'm saying and he reached out to me and shit we made it out there it is wow that was really impressive yeah i mean you know we've been talking about these no i'm saying for a long time we really need to do the the championship like with brackets and everything like march madness but again this is not even like you know what i'm saying this is no i'm saying well it there's a mix of two don't discredit the ones that are there's there's good ones there too you know i'm saying is yeah wow those are real that guy really stepped up the whole you know i'm saying game yeah you changed the game you know there was how to say you know i'm saying for a while and then bg came in the

picture and was like i'm gonna take it to another level this guy yeah i'm blown away i'm literally blown away yeah wow i thought i knew what the you know i'm saying game was about and then this motherfucker right here yep he just came in here you don't change the game you just change the game on me you know i'm saying you know i'm saying you know i'm saying all right i'm like you know i'm saying um you know i'm saying we got to go you know you know i'm saying we should have a great guest in a couple days for you for friday's show um you want to finish off that pancake just for breakfast you know there's a few bites left in the pan okay all right all right we thanks a lot for listening to our show guys we love you um we'll be back go check

out your mom's house podcast dot com love you jeans we love you so much more than tom loves you because i'm the main mommy keep saying you know i'm saying keep you don't say you don't say you don't say you know i'm saying my mom that same french excellence you don't say right the mayor of norm saying he wants to be the mayor here we go

you don't say oh you don't say you don't say it you don't say it right do anyone understand that you