Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 298-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 25, 2015

Call Jesus if you're ever in a pinch and if he doesn't answer call Chuck Woolery. We break down some new Know What I'm Sayin counts, plus get into the wonderful music of Lil B and Too Short - Sup Bay area! The Mommies are moving - just into an office, but it's going to be SWEET. Plus we gotta get these doggies to stop poopin INSIDE.   Make sure the listen to Joe Rogan episode #664 to hear the mommies have a ball of a good time. And it's official Tommy Mommy is shooting a new special in August. Listen to find out where!

Yep, that's how we do it. I can't hear myself About there. Yeah, that oh yeah, there we go. Yeah, thanks James Betsy's sitting up like a person judging us look as she's leaning against beef Just looking at us like you call this a podcast this is bullshit This is a bullshit show guys I Love it. All right Check it out. Here. We are jeans and around. It's it's time. We're about to go to Titsburg Pittsburgh. Well, that was a new one

We're doing a big jammie jam of a show there Jim Norton Jim Norton is closing it out for sure Michael Chays on the show Bill Crawford Christina P and yours truly Tommy Big balls buns. Nobody calls you that. That's everybody calls me that They've been calling me that for 65 years. They call me Christina big slops. Yeah, so

It's at the biome biome theater It's gonna be crazy Easy This Friday make sure you you get tickets five theater WDBE or the TV this TV radio program. They're making a festival. Yeah, it's really cool They are having us there It's gonna be a lot of fun. I think we're gonna be on the radio show tomorrow, too If you're in Titsburg tomorrow, sorry, no Friday Friday

We're gonna do the radio show and then we're gonna do the comedy show. Yeah What else is there? Saturday, I am at Chicago Doing Park West sold out. It's done been sold out And then Sunday to toa if you're in the toa Which is Detroit? I'll be in Pontiac at the Crowfoot. There's a few tickets left. So please please

Come out and see Me at that show I'm bringing my cronin That's all bone snake to do the shows with me. That's on Sunday. Yeah. Oh, yeah Really excited about it, man. I'm really excited about both of those shows Chicago. Yeah, I mean Chicago is like such an awesome city to do stand-up in Then coming up in July Stress Factory in New Brunswick Fartford funny bone in Connecticut

The bell house in Brooklyn is sold out and then the Wilbur in Boston Please come to that then jeans and I are in Montreal for the just for laughs for comedy festival The 20th through the 25th, and we're doing a live podcast there also for doing stand-up all week But a live podcast on the 23rd at the Hyatt You can get all those ticks and oh There's there's Portland There's all these other shows. I'm just letting you know go to Tom Segura comm slash shows and Gotta make that baby money. Dude. Gotta make that baby money

We gotta feed our kids charlotte's on sale Raleigh is on sale Lexington DC St. Louis Philly Here's the one. It's gonna sell out for sure Houston. It's only one show. I'm telling you it's not it's a far-off, but Get your Houston tickets now because that show will fill up All right, keep it Jesus Guess where I'm flying to for you time. No where after Montreal. I'm excited. Are you I'm so happy to not travel for a while I bet Jesus Jeans there's a lot stuff to talk about I can't wait a lot of stuff to talk about I can't wait

Hey Yeah Farts farts farts farts on Van Nuys farts farts farts You ready to do this? Yeah. Hello. Hello. Here we go One second I'm getting this all hey pull up Chuck Wollery because I want to talk about that I Didn't know there's an actual commercial now, and I'm kind of upset. We don't record it. Okay. All right Here

Calling me Don't bring anyone loving to this You You just do what they used to do in like 80s videos. Yeah history band and that like the guy would the drummer will look Over at the singer. All right, man. It's that look. Yeah It's the jam out. Yeah, we got it in the smile. It's a big smile like I'm fucking doing it. Are you doing it? You're doing it But it's a very white guy thing. It's a very middle-aged white man thing. Yeah. Oh, it's terrible. It's so asexual Yeah, I want to do I want to do a like a video of a school where they teach you how to do that

Like they don't teach you how to play instruments. They just teach you how to look At the guy in the band across the stage for you I like to get an acknowledgement of a smile where it's like I'm gonna jam out for you now He's like, you gotta practice your jam. Yeah, your jam face. Oh Shit, I'm silly. Oh, man You know, I don't know about you, but I don't like taking pills for minor arthritis pain and I really don't like those patches But I have found something that works Australian dream. It's an arthritis pain relief cream. It's a great product It doesn't smell or burn it in greasy

That's the OG version. Well last night we were just watching television. We're watching orphan black, right? Yeah They aired a commercial For Australian dream and I about lost my mind. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, he's now in your face with it I'm so excited that there's a visual representation of The commercial we love the most now the one problem I have is that he doesn't say greasy. Yeah, he It's upsetting. Well, here's something you might not know Chuck listens to the show Yeah, he does. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he absolutely

show and he He heard he heard we had poked some fun at him Mm-hmm, and He actually changed the way that he does the read because of that If you don't think that that has something to do with this show I'm serious. Yeah, I feel like you're not you're not being honest, you know

Can I tell you my favorite part of the commercial like do you remember because he likes to pretend like it's organic? That's why he goes like, I don't know about you, but He hesitates the commercial. Yeah Yes, I don't know about you, but I don't like taking pills for minor arthritis pain or using those patches Thanks, Stephen. There's something that really works. Thanks. Even dream. It doesn't smell doesn't burn isn't greasy and it Absolutely heard it man. He heard it He's a fucking It's so upsetting didn't greasy. Yeah, that's the way you say grease greasy. It's greasy didn't greasy

But how much do you love his little ad-lib? He's like, thanks, Stephen. Oh, yeah job because a PA on a fake game show set Hands him the Australian dream Thanks, Stephen. Yeah That's but that's my favorite. Thanks. I found something that really works You asked for thanks, Stephen. I found something that really works Australian dream. Uh-huh. It doesn't smell doesn't burn isn't greasy and it relieves my Plus Australian dream has an empty jar guarantee Because Australian dream you won't real relief from arthritis pain

Australian dream. Oh, and he holds up the jar when he says it and I almost lost my mind laughing to these YouTube Videos only have your mom's house Yeah And Australian dream put it up like so it says never loot never load never lose on the type for life Your mom's house and it was so right it ain't greasy And on his commercial one, I chuck this one, you know, I don't know about you, but I don't like taking pills for minor It says never load. I'll study and dream is the dog's tits It ain't greasy pops of my high and tight mommies. I know what he's saying

Dutton burn Jean's hot ju-ju-ju-ju-ju jeans You guys are the best He tries to make it more natural by hesitating. Yeah I really don't like taking pills for my I don't know about you Like who the fuck what I don't know about you That's so weird the language. Do you realize that when we had Australian dream shit on the show it created a firestorm of

There was multiple episodes about it. There was a shirt that was made. There were two Ridiculously well produced songs made. Yeah, like really good. Really good songs I mean That's amazing So It's crazy that's greasy e that's the name of that song who made that one I you know, I wish I knew I remember and I'm sorry It's not here in the in the playlist when I this one was a ghost crew made another one greasy

This is outstanding I'm I don't like taking my pills crazy, but I have found something that works Australian dream All from that asshole All from him just going didn't greasy I Would dance to that in the club that I'm Chuck Ward that you just brought that up right now

Um, like you're like pull up worry because today we opened the show with a ridiculous commercial So this is Jesus Christ bail bonds sure And I don't know it's uh, are you allowed? I guess you're allowed to name your business I think you are unless it's like I don't know. Fuck mexicans or something. You can name it anything you want Wait, could you name your business like I hate the jews? I don't know if I don't think you can do that Fuck the jews bakery

Uh, I guess you could pollocks suck my tits laundry Like I wonder if there's rules against that. I mean having a like a curse Like suck my tits. Well, okay, maybe how about like poll pollocks are are dumb are the worst or yeah Yeah, I think you could do that. I hate pollocks laundry. You'd be in the news for sure I mean, they would do they would do pieces on your business all the time And the lines are still long outside pollocks are the worst bakery And the owners have no comment And they just shrugged and they're the worst yeah kill all the jews bakery. You keep going back to that

No, no, I just uh, you know, I want to spread it around. Yeah, okay I just I love these cheap local So much heart. Yeah, there's so much heart and um These guys coordinated this to like go back and forth. He goes like bail out bail out bail out bail out bail out Jesus where's 410 what area code is that? Pittsburgh it's not pittsburgh

Toledo no Uh, kentucky. It's maryland. Yeah, baltimore baltimore. Hey now. Hey now Um, and that's a bishop. I fucking love this. This is so good Um, oh it says just saw oh this was on john oliver It was that's what it says in the comments. Oh for crying out loud We don't want to guys. Don't send us stuff that you saw in another show But you freak the dogs out. Sorry And there's a lot to it somebody sent us this did you see this on another show?

You adore come you need Come How long do you think this video is It's probably short like 30 seconds seven minutes and 34 seconds. It's like a hypnotherapy thing that you're in it's like To deprogram you for being gay or something. Um, I think this would get you to be gay. I'm saying if you're a woman Who's a lesbian? Maybe this is like you love cock Yeah, see You like it this reminds me of that asian lady. She's like how I take a long penis in my how you say

rectum In my how'd you say She doesn't know the word rectum. She knows all the other words No, she should just say ass but she uses rectum. Yeah, it's so clinical. How you say I take five long penises and I put them in my how you say My rectum Many gentlemen love to have an older woman because I know how to satisfy them I

Hi, I'm Kim and I am a model for model 60 plus notes Um 63 years of age. Uh-huh. This is my second time around here And surprisingly I have an experience with two young gentlemen Who have a really really huge penis And they truly satisfy me Really if you wish to know about my life

Kim and was born and raised in thailand. Nobody wants to know about your life. No Show us your ass 16s 16s plural really hard to Um get the one-way tickets to illinois From there, I did two master's degrees. Oh, what happened with that and why now you're a whore And right now my heart and my soul is ability to Teach wait a minute, please. I could she has two master's degrees. How come she pluralizes words improperly in english

That's why I bought my tickets 16s to thailand Voice in the conversation for nearly three years now Do you think she got her master's degree in penis? Because she doesn't speak english well, I mean, I know people that have Second language have their masters in their second language is english and um, they speak way better than her Apparently way better than me just there too. Yeah, you're you know, I stumbled on that. I gotta drink this coffee. Um Is that that guy from florida? Yeah back yard. Yeah, emigrant mother when he's like cuban or something Yep, who says that make it specific

At least call the guy a spick or a beiner, right? Well, he does Phew thank god I was Getting worried for our racists. Yeah, how'd you say? How'd you say? I like the music too Education together and I doubt that Attempting one of these days I will become hopefully to become a doctor. What and at the same time. I'm pursuing a uvea doctor online

and life have Absolutely Taking me to many terms She's gonna be a doctor online ability to explore A lot of doctors are online doctors. Wait, is that like the icdc college we pass by I can do college college I Wait, there's a college and the mini strip mall near off the freeway there There's a 7-11. There's a donut shop, and then there's icdc college

Is this where she goes which for people that they listen all over the place Icdc is I can do college college. I can do college college I can do college I can do college, you know I can do college I'm pretty sure it does online online school doesn't count right for a doctor No, you can't do that not for a doctor. No like business degrees I can see that qualifying for like

You know licenses and stuff, but You better get your life to be a doctor. Yeah, I mean this ladies She's out of her fucking mind. I fuck the girl with no arms and one leg We just did a full asian. Yeah, just out of nowhere of stuff. That's fun. That's fun. Um, I wonder, um Would you would you call the tie lady? I would yeah, of course I would call the tie lady. Would you be interested in a? Excuse me 60 plus milf who can take two penises and they actually satisfied her Yeah, why is she saying it actually satisfied me now two penises?

I think she doesn't know exactly what she's saying actually and truly truly the awareness of sexually Speaking and ability to really reach inside of me to realize that There's other part of me That at this point a lot of my parents and my family still Do not know that i'm doing her parents are still alive And during the time that I did video I have experiencing with alone With a young man 21 years of age

With two gentlemen gentlemen, especially what is amazed is I was able to take a really really hard Long penis into my vagina as well as my What do you call that? rectum What do you call it? rectum feel it wrap across your lips

That's the cock Fuck it right into your mouth Okay, it's a lot It is a lot enough clocks for one day okay Okay, I can't stop it actually It's it's not moving the screen oh shit

Okay, there we go fix that What's the visual on that? Is it like a little asian girl talking? No, it's um, what's it called? a Slide show a slide show. Yeah Hey, we should talk about I mean everyone else. It's a big it's just like stills Obama the president

Was on a podcast this week. Isn't that crazy that is so amazing For the podcasting world. I think it's a huge get I think it's gonna Finally bring attention to this medium The attention that it deserves. Yeah, I think this is a huge huge for us. It's so legitimizing to podcasts It's pretty cool. A lot of people, you know, they're making this obviously a well-deserved big deal about the fact that obama went to mark maren's house in the garage And so cool did a podcast and it was pretty crazy. You should definitely check it out, man

Obama though actually was on your mom's house. Yeah God it was years ago. It was years ago. It was during his first term and you know, I remember I had a Good time sitting with him. He came to Silver Lake to the Silver Lake house. Yeah, he did and was he campaigning still? I forget what he was doing. I feel like we got him, but the show our show wasn't big enough yet So people didn't hear we had just picked up lunch. I remember we grabbed lunch at the taco place down the street A burger place. It was Tommy's burger. Oh, right. Right. And I said, um, I remember I He got the lunch and I reached over we were like I go

You know, I was just kind of like casually eating I guess I was uh, I made a an assumption By reaching over onto where he was eating as we were talking I'm like, you know What do you think's going to happen during your term and I go to I go to take some food off of his plate and Yeah, he was like, you ain't my bitch nigga by your own damn fries. Now, you know that guy ain't shit Sorry, his motherfucker got nothing on me, right? Nothing. They're white folks and then they're ignorant motherfuckers like you And that was that wow. Yeah. Well, he was really fired up. He liked those fries

He loved those fries. It was a curly fries. That's why that's exactly right curly and he liked them seasoned remember He was like put extra seasoning on them. Well, michelle doesn't always let him have those because I'm not you know She's all into the health and stuff. Of course. She's like, it's just from the garden. He's like, yeah, these are our garden fries Yeah, so when he came over he was so stoked to have like fries. Yeah, he was really upset when you wanted his french fries I remember that. Wow. I remember that. Yeah, how come we don't get credit for having a bottle? I don't know I mean, maybe because that was before podcasting really blew up. Yeah, you know our show Oh, fuck isn't as big as marines. Hold on. I just dropped some nuts on the floor These dogs are gonna eat it. Don't do that

No, hold on. Actually, yeah, I'll grab one. You all right? Yeah That's really pretty Why don't you tell the listeners what you did after our sweet sweet love making session today? Um, well, I mean I cuddled you and I I pet you and I kissed you and I think I said you're my lady and I love you the most Not really. Yeah, we mean not really what happened was we were I was sitting and I was like loving being kind to you and

Gazing into your big bear eyes father of my unborn child Yeah, and then you lifted your leg Oh You lifted your leg and then you bit your bottom lip like you were gonna fart exactly and I was like, well, what are you doing? You can't do that You can't lift your leg and fart after we just did it and then what happened and then you put your leg down you Oh, I can't thank you

Thank you though, but that's a really sweet and romantic of me Which which part of that story that I was like I was like, yeah, you're right and I put my leg down And then I didn't fart Yeah That's pretty sweet Right. Thank you for that. What a giver. Hey guys, thank you. I'm gonna have a kid. You know what I'm saying Thank you so much for the outpouring of love and excitement for our unborn It's

Really kind of overwhelming How nice you guys have been and we really appreciate all the emails and the tweets and The gifts you guys have given us stuff It shows and that's like it's so me it I feel like we're having the world's first podcasting baby. What do you think? It feels like it. It does feel like it rich and Bonnie have a Child, but I think they had it before they started doing their show. So that doesn't count I think we're the first, uh, baby to be conceived in the podcasting world. I'd like to say so Yeah, and uh, you guys, you know, you know, it's uh, it's a boy, right?

And yeah, I'm really stoked about we're gonna teach him to talk like that too, right talk like that with the accent I'm saying without With like In a bonnix affectation A bonnix affectation. Jesus. That's what they called it in the 90s at Berkeley. They taught it last time Well, welcome to 2015. What do you call it now? Nothing just That's the first sentence you're gonna teach our son the first sentence i'm gonna teach myself. It should be easy

Uh, i'm gonna teach him. Sweet wasn't sad No, I don't know what i'll teach him. He's hearted. You know what I want to do? I'm still in thankful mode I want to thank everybody For the outpouring of support. Here's the other thing the gifts I I didn't even thank I forgot after the show last week. I didn't remember that I didn't thank everybody that came out In phoenix and calgary the the the come gary and phoenix were the outpouring of support just for the show was fantastic You guys were so so great in both cities. So thank you for that and um, I can say all the gifts and then there's people I I haven't had a chance to

Acknowledge online that are sending. They do like their monthly donations to our show. We don't even Um, solicit this but people find like they just do it anyways So I wanted a uh, uh acknowledge scott cummer Sam gamble Mike boydos. Oh, yeah It's pretty cool, right? Johnny Uh, vasilekos

The hungarian. I don't know. He could be vasilek Steve steven verheg Anyways, and uh, these are crazy names and oh, this is for another one for you for that's deep ben Klein Schmidt. Oh, thanks guys. So thank you. Those are really nice of you. Thank you for doing that I just wanted to say thanks always appreciate the mommies Yeah, and of course for you know, when you shop at our store when you shop through our amazon banner all that shit Um, it's just this is not asking you to do it. It's just saying thank you. Thanks for doing it. Yeah um

Anyways, should we tell them about our new office? We should tell them about the new office. Yeah, and also Yeah, we should tell them if you didn't know already. We were on uh, rogans show yesterday And uh, we got to uh, introduce Joe to the king Yeah, how fun was that and I didn't amazing I had no idea that joe would think it was as funny as he did Yeah, I mean he was dying. We were all dying bringing up bass ripper. He had so many questions He was like, how does he do this? What what is happening? It was so fun

He um, uh, he loud and I I got so many messages about people enjoy enjoying that episode Really fun. Yeah, that was so much fun, dude We yeah, we had a blast on the jerry yesterday. It was like We went for three hours too. Yeah, just chilling talking shit talking nonsense. Yeah, it's pretty crazy, man Yeah, he's he's the best dude. Joe's pretty chill. He's so fun So we gotta we're getting an office jeans one, you know, yeah So so we do this show out of our home. We've always done it that way for years and years

But now with the baby jeans on the way we need a nursery So we're converting this office to a nursery and we're gonna move to a proper office Like a couple of adult jeans signed the deal. It's done deal. I'm so excited. Yeah I think that's gonna be really good for us booboo. Yeah have a place outside of the home to To conduct business. I think it's gonna be speaking of I I gotta take a shit And that's hard for me to do these days. So can we pause when I take a dump? If I don't go now, I'll never go Okay, let's pregnancy thing. Okay, go ahead

All right, what happened nothing. I'm so mad. I sat down and just farts happen That's the problem with pregnancy you get backed up. So now I gotta eat more of these dried apricots Oh god, I'm serious if I don't eat like a fucking ton of these a day. I won't shit I had to eat fruit all day every day and vegetables all day every day Otherwise, it's disastrous um Fuck man, that's the worst and I'm I'm such a strong dumper Yeah, you've always been like that. You've always had that ability

No one no one's quite as As good as you ever feel like you're not being sincere. I'm a hundred percent sincere I'm a hundred percent sincere I um, I feel like you're you're in a league of your own and you know what it is to travel Fuck me up being in Denver and you know my schedule It didn't greasy it didn't greasy Travel fucks up your dumps big time. You know what I have to do. I think I have to eat some fud tonight Yeah, and have some dried apricots and then I'll take a huge shit. Oh

Um, hey, I got to do something real quick. What do you do? Wow Um, what's that all about? Well, I have a big announcement to make Oh Two weeks in a row with big announcements. I mean, this is like an extra big announcement actually, you know, okay I Love that sound That's cat eating

hard food in a bowl Now some of you might already know this but some of you might not and I wanted to make the announcement on our show That this summer I am going to be shooting a new special Oh Right. It's pretty exciting Jean's is shooting a new special and I can finally tell you All about it. Where it is ladies and gentlemen

Your mother Tommy shooting a new hour special in the great city of Seattle It's a great city it is a great city. I'm very excited to be doing it there. Seattle. I will be in your fair city Friday August the 7th shooting the special two shows 7 and 9 30 Please get your tickets

now to at the Neptune I think the 9 30 It's pretty full. So I think right now you can only buy tickets to the seven which I need people at so please If you haven't gotten tickets, please buy tickets for the seven o'clock taping Um, how exciting games. What are you gonna wear? That's a good question. That's a good question You have your t-shirts made like in did in Hong Kong I think I might wear a nice button down. You know nice pop collar on it

you know What about your jeans tight jeans super high and tight jeans Like I'll wear them like mid mid stomach like above my navel, but like really tight I really wish you would do and white sneakers, you know, oh, that's such a hot look white new balances. Yeah She's doing um, she's shaking. Yeah, but anyways, um, you know, it's uh, it's exciting to do this. It's exciting to to do A special do you want me to write your jokes? Sure You want me to help you? Sure

All right, here's what you should open with. Oh, you're already doing it. Okay Hey guys, you ever have sex with your wife and then you're like, yeah, I knotted but now I got a fart Okay It's like That's a really good joke. Thanks, babe. Got it. Are you saying I can have that? Yeah, you sure, you know, oh, okay That's your opener I don't know why you're poo pooing it It's pretty interesting

Yeah, let me just a set design too Oh, what do you think the set design should be he need a theme like every comedy special You have to have like a silly funny Theme like the hot dog vendor and the messy living room right then the gas station. I got it Well, you're like the bear so you should have like a woodlands Background like it's all trees. Oh, and it's also the pacific northwest. Perfect. So I have tundra Yep And then you come out and then you scratch your back up against a tree

I got a better one. I come out of a cave Oh, yeah, there's a cave there and burr krisher is there. I crawl out of the cave And no, but my pants are off. So I I crawl out of the cave with my boxers on And then maybe burr crawls out and he goes forgot something and he hands me my pants and then people go Oh my god, it's burr krisher and then but he goes away. He goes away. He goes away. Yeah, but I turn around. I just finish I I squeeze the sorry what I turn around and I have a little bit left inside of me And I squeeze it off and is against his lip like I go like that on his lip and then I pull my pants on. Well, I don't know if you want to do all that

Why? You should definitely do your special with just a t-shirt and panties and no pants T-shirt Do you know how many people would watch that that'd be like, oh my god, this guy does his whole comedy His routine and I tie it off like uh, Callan was talking about I tie it off Like half full so I get some blood flowing and I put a little like a tie at the base of it So it stays kind of so it's it's always teasing my box a little bit. You know, it's like pushing up against my boxers You tie it off. You mean you literally yeah

So like what I do is I smack it around till it gets a little thick and then I tie it off at the base So it stays kind of like always tapping on my boxers. So everyone's like, oh like is that going to come out? It's like Yeah, like you're keeping the audience on edge. Yeah They're like, that's pretty thick. What's going on? That's a great idea. I don't know why nobody's done that But definitely do it without pants No pants Then that's and gray. I think gray boxers because if I leak a little bit it'll come it'll stain. It'll you'll see it. Yeah

It should be called Full tips comedy Yeah, that's a great idea tom You know speaking of Burt and speaking of farts I haven't seen this in a while. It's right here and I was like, who's savannah? They're like, she's one of the co-hosts And so I go into a separate Oh my god, yeah, I go into a separate room and

And I uh, he's still talking and it's me and this girl and this girl's fucking absolute moron I farted so bad. Yeah on that show. No, I know That's so cool. That was so funny. And then he keeps talking and like You left the room. I left the room because it smelled so bad and then we're like, but why are you still telling this? Like I can't even pay attention to story He's like, I know it's it's in my eyes in my mouth And it was hot out It was like a hot summer night in the valley by the way, do you realize that as far as we can go we pushed

King ash ripper as far as as we can possibly do it by By getting him on joe rogan's show and spending a good half hour or more talking about him And still no, thank you. No acknowledgement. It's bizarre. I'm hoping that the power of joe's podcast Carries it a little further. Yeah, like maybe ash ripper will respond to joe rogan if not us Yeah, and if any rogan listeners jumped over for this episode, you know, because we were just on We're really trying to get in touch with this guy and if you could help this is serious Yeah, if you go to live leak and you type in I fart in yo face That's the name of his

I his account is it or just fart in yo face. I fart in yo face. I fart in yo face. Yeah. Yeah um That's his account and his emails posted in some of his vids and Talks about it. We really want to make this happen guys. We've offered him money We have flattered him. We have bombarded him with our listeners. He wins. He wins. I'm ready to up the ante What are you gonna offer him? I'm saying I'm ready to offer more money. So if it's a money thing I'm ready to offer more money I do want him to be in studio though, wouldn't you? Let's fly him out

That'd be great. I would fly him out and put him up and pay him To have him on your mom's house And then the good thing is we'll have an office. So if he farts in there, it's fine. It's not our home Yeah, and then what we'll just have him fart a bunch and be like, listen, we'll feed him a bunch You know what I think I think he's afraid I think maybe he is a fraud because why won't he come on our show don't talk like that

Don't talk like that. Why won't he come on our show and show us what he can do You disrespecting the king like that. I just want you to know that it's It's it's hurtful, you know It's the greatest of all time you're calling him a fraud But I mean, why won't he respond to us? We're fans. We're not, you know assholes. Yeah Well, if we can't get him on the show Um, which it's looking more and more like it's going to be really hard to What if we got somebody else on the show?

Saran wrap around her this is the video of the saran wrap Oh She's walking around the kitchen doing her errands. We also played this on um, Joe Rogan show. No, we mentioned it We didn't play. Yeah. Well, Joe brought up the interesting point of how his knees must be in a lot of pain Because he's following her around I don't think he'd seen this one No, we described it to him right So this guy's got his nose and a woman's ass and then there's saran wrapped wrapped around his head and her

So he's saran wrapped in her butt and she keeps farting. Yeah, it's pretty cool Oh, I think it's the coolest. Yeah Speaking of farts and poop and everything Um, so do you know about this? Uh, there's I think she's german There's a new book um, this woman sold more than a million copies in germany and

She the book is called gut the inside story Sorry The inside story of our body's most underrated organ She calls the mechanism Uh An an extra insurance policy that cites and cites studies showing that that squatters With their unkinked guts are less susceptible to hemorrhoids and constipation. Sure in other words

Sitters are doing it all wrong. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, because you're pushing You're pushing and now that my guts my intestines are being pushed up by the baby It's even it reeks havoc like Yeah This woman's really um You know, I think she's making I I I want to try squatting um I feel like

You don't have any trouble I think it'd be better to squat though. I feel like your dumps are so horrendous and meaty and girthy But there's no need to why are you switching up your game? Why are you why are you fixing when ain't broke? I want to see what it feels like Well, let's get you a squatty potty. Yeah, why don't we have one yet? Let's get one It's a small bathroom. Yeah, it's like one more thing in there Maybe get one for the office and and I'll carry it with me down Down the hall every time I have to dump and people are like, what's that?

I just I bring it with me when I got a shit so great I can't what do you think the office is gonna feel like think of our culture There there's no way that can no energy companies and like cpa's there's an accountant next door to us Like a nice asian lady. She's gonna be more to if she can hear through the walls what we're doing She's gonna be like, I got here I hear free penises. I have free voices Ah I don't know

I think I think our our way of how we live now, which is the the less people know about us in the neighborhood the better Yeah, and the less strangers know about us the better Let's not be uh, they don't need to know Um, they're on a need a need to not know basis. Do you know by the way little be the base god? Yeah, I've got all of his Records tapes mix tapes. He was in the news quite a bit lately because uh, he curses people Um basketball players that either Don't acknowledge him talk shit about him

Or don't give him credit for the way that they celebrate like the the cooking dance and he was like that's little bees Um, anyways, somebody said that he's thrown his hat into the ring for you know, I'm saying So I thought we'd get that a little play Um, and there's been there's a few that we've played. There was one um Few episodes ago that was really impressive. I don't know if you remember which one I don't know those guys where they were outside and uh, I might have to dig it up But boy a little beat, you know second check in And I'm saying we doing it for the ladies this time

You know I'm saying base boys, you know and pretty much just want to do a positive I'm saying a positive check in relax right now. I don't want to teach all my niggas I'm saying all my people that be hitting me up on my space make sure I'm fresh out of the shower Man, I want to teach everybody how to get the waves. I got you know, I'm saying so I'm saying make sure you stretch out the shower wave cap grease right. I'm saying we got the Breast all that I'm saying but I mean above all that. Let's look at this view. I'm saying Once again the things you understand the nice beautiful things about life. We really just paying attention to the nice things You know I'm saying and really

I'm saying they're really really just doing it soaking it up It's 12 and 40 I got 12 I got 12 but now however, there was a there was one you know, did you count that? Oh, no, I didn't catch I didn't catch it like that at the beginning He he just drops a you know and I didn't count it in my count just because I don't like how do we account for the you knows I think when they're thrown in with you don't say and we just count them I'm saying it's a good thing. Yeah, I don't want to say Like life Like motherfucking life

And I'm saying anywhere though. I mean shouts out to all my ladies. I'm saying all my fans I'm saying all my lifelong supporters baseboys everybody to hold me down. Once again, this is just a positive check in just let everybody know He I'm saying I'm my space page my space.com space. This is an old video. I'm saying. Oh, oops. No my space.com Slash p-a-c-k-a-l-b-u-m-s. You know, so like I said man, I do it for my god. I'm saying my bitches I'm saying everybody. I'm saying that fuck with me. I love everybody. Like I said, man You know, it's time to get your body mind right. So right and you know, I'm saying be positive spread the positive movement Once I said, you know, I'm saying go little beat. He's real positive. Yes guy. I like that You don't really hear a lot of positive videos. That's usually like

Them responding to haters. You should look into him more. He he's he's all he's all about. I will well. He's all about positivity Maybe he's like he should go on Oprah. It's Super Soul Sunday Yeah, he um, he's he's all positive and and like if you if you leave a negative message on like his uh Instagram or something he'll like he's like he doesn't like yet. He's like this is all about and then his followers will be like No, be positive. It's like the insane clown posse You know how I love those guys. They have very positive messages in their music. Well, a little bit is a little different. Um Now he did get negative on Kevin Durant because Kevin Durant who you might not know is bad famous basketball player

Said that he sucked so little beat came out of the song called fuck devil Kevin Durant Wow It's a good song so far so far makes a lot of sense It's Bitch i'm little b. Bitch i'm little b who lives mixed as you don't know that it's me Still on the court and i'm still on the court ban me from the gang because you niggas on my dick I'm a short nigga with a tall ass bitch my layup I dunk on the bitch shout out to the w mba. You got some fine ass girls. I want to fucking them out

cool I thought he was positive. He's like I got some the w mba. I'm like, oh, that's neat that he's giving a shout out to them And then he's like I want to fuck y'all in the mouth. That's but that's not negative It's it's not really complimentary. Why how is that not a compliment? You're beautiful I want to fuck you in the mouth. You know what you're right when I hear it when I hear you say it like that I'm sorry. I misunderstood. I think that's the ultimate compliment He hasn't he has another song someone says they want to fuck you in your mouth. That's like

Here's another song They positive guys Stop I ain't gonna lie to many y'all pussy ass Suckers sure and then y'all bitches, bro. I'm gonna eat the whole ass, bro. Hey Eat it eat it Eat it pussy party All the girls is coming over

either tasty Eater Wow, it's really good. That's a good song. Yeah, I you know I didn't know this guy had so many hits. Yep. So anyways, what a prolific writer back to get to the What's important, you know I'm saying There's another Somebody else

This has a bitch in this motherfucker Lisa on the Greek. Let's do it swing like a fool. Let's do it, man. All right Hey, hey, hey, hey yo, dude Hey Hey Oh Hey Hey Pretty good. Wow. That's all it takes to to rap, huh?

Well, it's part it's one of the layers like you can't just say that that's the only thing I have an idea. What's up now? I don't know how you feel about this. Just it's a proposal What if an addendum to the would you rather count? We do an n-bomb count An n-bomb count we have rappers and such who use the n-word kind like we do of that count That would be pretty that could get pretty high. Um I don't know if you want to do that. Jay Z says it a lot Do you want to see who says that the most? Yeah, that would take us forever That would take us forever. It really would well what rapper says the n-word the most

There's no way to calculate that that's a crazy question because you can't it's like saying who breathes the most It's really crazy. It's like Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's some people that would be like oh and this one song but yeah, we can't really calculate I mean that's just but in your memory. I mean you have so many really want to focus More audio on n-words like do we really want to do that? No, but I'm just curious like you know all these rappers who drops it the most in your estimation Just depend. I mean this my brain's about to explode right now You know what I'm saying

What about the guy We play his clips and he's like meow meow meow meow meow. He talks like that Who meow meow? We have plies plies. Oh, I'm sure he says it a lot. Yeah, but a lot of rappers have yeah A lot of rappers have said a lot. Yeah, I don't I don't know. We'll think about it. All right I'll think I mean too short. I like you to mull it over. I think a lot of what sugar-free Too short says a lot of bad things. Yeah Yeah

A lot of bad things. Yeah, he definitely I like to blow the whistle song though. I like that song. Yeah Blow the whistle two two two babe. What does that mean to blow the whistle? He's just blowing any whistle or is it he's a referee something to blow the whistle. He's a referee What do you mean? He's a referee. What does it mean to blow the whistle? Uh blow the whistle Yeah, he's saying um be like short Uh I think he's calling the flag

I feel like he's calling the flag on people who stole biatch from him Because he's the one that did that, you know, sure. That's what I feel like that song's So he's saying he invented the biatch that word And then people stole it and then he's blowing the whistle on the people who stole that's the way I've understood it. Um Let's see Okay, I mean that we could probably look into that you want to look into it I mean, I'd like to yeah, let's explore it. Okay. Here's the lyrics to blow the whistle I go on and on can't understand how it lasts so long. I must have superpowers or rap

225,000 hours. I made a thousand songs last 300 months Where you get I heard 93 rappers say bitch like me two singers and ten comedians and I'm still gonna yell it Every time you see me. What's my favorite word? Why they got to say it like short, you know, they can't play on my Blow the whistle. He is he's saying. Yeah, that's what a referee would do. I blow the whistle I'm calling a foul on you For doing that because they're all style-sucking his biatch. It's a it's a song about style-sucking. Gotcha. Yeah, okay Yeah, that's I mean, that's how I think it's supposed to go. I like this one a lot. You do, huh? Yeah, I like the sound

This part You That's Memphis, baby. That's Texas, baby I go on and on can't understand how it lasts so long I must have superpowers rap 225,000 hours. Get a calculator do the math. I made a thousand songs that made you move And for the last 300 months I made 16 albums with me on the front and they When you get your beats, I heard 93 rappers safer like me Two singers and ten comedians and I'm still gonna yell it every time you see me in

What's my favorite word? Why they got to say it like short, you know, they can't play on my court Can't hang with the big dog stay on the porch. Blow the whistle I like the whistle part I heard too that like that whole mac and thing is not Uh, some bullshit that he raps about that he really sticks his dick in and that I opened for a guy in oakland comic one time and he told me about that he hung out with too short And I was like, is that crazy? He was like, oh like there were girls that he would pass around like go suck his dick like that

Really? Yeah, that's nice. So I say he's a truth teller. Yeah, that's a neat story. Thank you for sharing that Yeah, and he got clowned kind of on our on that podcast yesterday for blow job betty, but You know what song I always liked? Was getting it because getting it was like about that about Well getting it was about going after yours and like sure don't sit around and and you know Nothing's gonna happen. It was like Go get your shit together and go get paid. You just get your life basically it was get your life But I mean, I actually think you would like this song positive energy and it's about like

album number 10 You know, don't fuck around Go get paid. You like that It's kind of sexy jazzy It is a positive song I like it Just me ride the jet they can't arrest me or bust me. I'm still hungry. I want some more stuff Get fat and watch my whole crew go up. So get yours and buy my new album

Keep the game and don't be like Calvin. Get everything. You're gonna get real get your Calvin I don't know You should be getting everything you like that's positive. Yeah, it's like Tony Robbins. This is Tony Robbins on wax Black don't laugh. It ain't funny. You should get a good lawyer. Like Johnny Tether to hell. No, I didn't pop and get your kids in school. So they can get an education That's that's what's up right there positive Anyways, um I like that. I like that song. I like a lot of too short shit blow job. Betty is just, you know, it's a little ridiculous

You know, we all have our ridiculous thing. Yeah Ridiculous. Hey, did you we know when I was away in Denver? Did you go shopping at 711 for our groceries? Why are you saying that? Why are you talking to shit like that? because you got like The weirdest shit like you got bacon, but it's like oscar mire bacon, which is just not your style and then I went to Here's the thing. I actually didn't like that apple smoked bacon that much the one that you fucking didn't like it that much I liked it. It's hard to the bacon that I really like. I don't know how to describe it. Um

Anyways, I wanted something different, but I went I went I got to go back to whole farts and find the one I like because there's one there's one that they make that I like And there's one that I'm not a fan of You know, I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a bacon test. I'm gonna buy five different bacons Dude, I just feel like oscar mire is like not the top look like just it's too bougie for you I mean, it's not bougie enough. Sorry. Oh, right like that's some shit I would buy and then well, I went to the store that you know, it replaced alversons. It's called haggins now It's so weird. I don't like the name

But you like the store you said I like it's good because it's like it's meant to be a middle ground between whole farts and today There's joe. Yeah, and um, it's good. But like they have I do and then I think what I found most offensive You bought spaghetti sauce But you bought fucking prego. Well, I'm not gonna buy ragu. I'm not fucking. Why did you bring prego into my house? I'm not white trash. I'm not buying ragu. But prego is disgusting. It's for children Dude, you're the one that has children's tastes. Yeah, but ragu's saltier. I like ragu and then To insult me further. You don't even bring home any shaky cheese. I had to use real parm and let's talk about the fact that when I came home

It was disgusting. We I left before you that the day you left for denver I came home and there was an empty jar of jiff Sitting on the counter and celery sticks like you like you were a ravenous dog That just couldn't get enough of this good food and then there was a full jar of skipping like you didn't even want it wrong wrong wrong Here's what happened, bro. Somebody at um, your mom's house live Gave us skipy naturals and I was using those and that's what I put on my celery And what was up with the empty jar of jiff there? It was just there. I gave it to the dogs just there No, I gave it to theo. He drank it

Drank it ate it. No, I give it to the dogs, but they don't like it. They barely eat it Yeah, like I put it I mix it with their dog food and they're like this shit's nasty. They won't even touch it bullshit I gave thief His treat and and his peanut butter. He loved it. I hated it. I loved it Whatever dude. What's up with these fucking crazy dogs, man? I know The problem with the pup is that she starts barking at 7 30 in the morning to wake us up because she's like i'm here guys She's eating something right now. I need attention. What is she eating?

I think it's a stray nut that fell. It's just it's always what is she eating? This dog eats it. It's a nightmare. They shit everywhere. I eat everything You know what it is? I think it's because the pack was split up last week when I was in mamber And now we're just kind of getting back into our groove. You know, it's going to take a few days for them to get She's eating. I'm not So ridiculous this fucking but this dude's been shitting inside I think cuz he's upset It's really upsetting to me. It really bothers me too. There's nothing worse than dog shit in your house, man

I know Fuck it makes me want to kick the shit out of them. Doesn't it make you angry? It does make me angry, but I would never hurt her Um, did I tell you I saw pat keen and I went to go see a movie when we were in mamber. Hold on It's um, I Didn't register. Yep I saw the movie santa andreas Mm-hmm. I really liked it. Are you being serious? I swear to god

I was still in my own right now. God damn it. I am so gross. I never Like I never got into the rock, but I have to say I really like him. I feel like he's a solid Star like that guy is a really great movie star. You know, he's a great action star He's so fit and he's just like you think he's fit. I think he's kind of a little flabby, but I mean Is this a trailer? It's so much fun. It's a dumb fun movie. Go see it. You guys both enjoyed it. Well, we laughed a lot like there's just Like there's one part where this building is on fire And like there's just a chef on fire for no reason like a guy and a chef's outfit running on fire

And you're like, wait, what? It's just a lot of destruction. It's great Jurassic world is killing it though that movie was silly fun. We had a good time with that I He's great. It was it was good. It was a silly fun day. Silly fun movie Let's see. I'm just curious They gave it a 50% on rotten tomatoes Yeah, I mean look, it's not Brain science. Paul Giamatti's in it, dude. Is he? Yeah, they have a great cast

Monster Dude, it looks like they spent billions on it. I mean, there's so many special effects. There's like Tsunamis fires everything's breaking from an earthquake. It's crazy that new Melissa McCarthy movie the spy one Yeah, that's got a 95 percent. Oh shit. I've never seen a comedy rated like that. How is that possible? Oh, no, maybe she's maybe it's good Maybe and then a movie called inside out. Oh, that's the animated one. That's got 98 percent No, I don't listen to that shit. Why not? They that's pretty accurate. Oh, yeah Um, and we saw the movie 50 shades of brown. We finally sat down. What a piece of shit that was

I gotta say I went into that with a very Accepting and open mind about me. I was like, you know, sometimes. Yeah, you watch romantic movies You know, I could watch. Um, I'll sit there if you're like, hey, let's watch sex in the city movie I'd be like, all right, and I can get into the movie for what it is. You know, I know it's not made for Me per se, but I can still enjoy it. Maybe you get a couple of boners and it'll be a good time Or yeah, or there's some there's some character you really enjoy watching or something's funny to you That 50 shades was such a pile of shit. Here's what's what the biggest disappointment. So dumb is that like nothing really happened

and Everything felt like it had a straight to dvd vibe like yeah The acting the writing the directing the edit like it all had a Made for tv like I didn't I was like this was released in theaters and did well I thought it was such dog shit Well, I think if you haven't because I read the first book only up to a hundred pages because there was not enough sex in it I was like, come on dude. What the fuck? I think if you've read the books that movie makes a lot of sense to you

But if you haven't it's just like what is happening. No, but see that that movie can still make sense It makes sense in terms of I'm not saying that it's complicated I'm saying that there's not enough of a story to the person who only sees the movie Because if you've read the book, you know that there's sub-tech. There's other stuff going on But they do a horrible job of I mean you can convey sub-sex in the film it it was Terrible terrible and then even the sex was like, I mean how many times you're gonna run an ice cube and down her titties I was like, how many times we seen? A fucking bore a friend of mine

Knows the editor that was brought in to do the second pass Because on the first this is a kind of interesting trivia I was telling him how bad the movie was and his friend is a woman Who they called in to to go do a pass on the edit and she said that when she showed up and was showing the first pass She was like all of the sex scenes Only show her and she was like women are going to this movie and want to see him Yeah, so they had no they had no shots of him on the first pass It's a fucking idiot, but those sex scenes were bad anyways. Well, I wanted to see more dong

That would have been nice. All they showed was the base of his dong and his patch and it was limp. Why don't you show it dripping? Yeah, she got them tiny little dog tits, which is fine, you know, yeah I I don't know. It was so boring to me. I've seen better snm movies like that movie the secretary Remember that? Yeah, that's a great Uh snm movie. I think that more captures From what I understand the essence of that relationship of a subdom Thing, I mean that was just like fucking

Pee wee squad Yeah, it was like i'm gonna tie you up and then her whole thing is like, but don't you love me It's like, well, no, he's in that's his kink It's not about loving. That's how he likes to jizz and you're ruining it for him But here's the thing like there was no sense of of like, um Of the story going like you see that like she wants it to be more and he's You know resisting and what is she chewing on?

What is that? I'm I'm not sure yet busy. Oh, oh, it's uh Oh, it's one of the pegs on her on her pen. Look dude. This is one of her Things that we put her crate together with Jesus Christ Don't get it poppy. No, here's what i'm saying about this movie though When you watch that movie you want it to go you want you want stories to have some sense Even if they're gonna have a sequel some sense of Well, we we got somewhere in this story. Yeah that sentiment that's early. In other words, the early sentiment is that She's like, oh, I I would like to to explore whatever this guy's about

That's the exact same thing the movie ends with I know and he's exactly how he started. It doesn't they don't go anywhere Yeah It's so dumb and the whole thing is like Will you sign this snm contract and then she never signs it or whatever? And you're like that is that the story? Shit like she doesn't sign his dumb contract about Putting stuff up her butt. You're like, all right Whatever dude the book was so retarded too. The book was even lame or You said the book but you're one of the people that I'd never I'd heard talk about the book

When like you're like, this is shit It was because I don't you know, I thought I'll give it a chance if so many women are into this There's got to be something to it And I just felt like it was dumb like I've read better erotica like and rice did a great series Uh under a pseudonym Um, I don't and something rock a lair or something. Anyway, yeah, it's just a fucking dog. It was boring. It was boring Yeah, I wanted to see more stuff like, okay, let's do it. Let's do an snm movie. Let's see some crazy Like I want my mind blown a little bit. Yeah

Whatever I can really upsetting really upsetting Like I have uh, I have a treat I'm gonna hear a treat. Yeah, here we go I Why isn't this playing Why is this not playing as you turn down the volume all the way on that other clip? Maybe no Is it plugged in? Yeah, this is weird Um, why don't you fix this and I'll take a look at the dog. I heard some clanking. Okay. What was going on out there?

She tore a thing off of her crate that she was trying on So I gave them some shoes so now they're That always keeps them occupied for at least yeah, we should give our dogs 10 shoes a day Just to keep them occupied in a way from us. Jesus. It's not fief. Who's the shithead. It's the fucking It's also just so harsh. Yeah She I can't wait to let her out, you know, we can't let her out because she's not properly immunized So she has to another week or two right another week when we come back from Pittsburgh. We're gonna take her in Let's see. I want to look at the day. We got we got to get those shots in her so she can play around outdoors

Yeah, on the 29th we take her in Thank god, are you here? You're here. I fly back to 29th. Oh, so I'll be taking her in. Yeah Well, well, well, you ready to fart? Yeah, let's do this. Check it out Hey, buddy. It's top dog Hey, buddy. It's top dog Hey, buddy. It's top dog You need to wipe down It's top dog

It's been a while since top dog's been on the program. I imagine so many things are happening with him Um, it's probably crazy. It was great because uh this time he called me No, I got to this is I love this. It's just It's so authentic to who the man is. This is so natural. So organic. This is When I'm able to capture this for our show, it makes me so happy because I literally go through this Every week multiple times a week. This is exactly how this happens in my life. Here you go guys Hello, dad Hey, buddy. How you doing? Good. What's going on, man?

I just without Not so much with some friends of mine and oh wait, that's a that's a wrong clip Oh, no, sorry. This is today Holy shit, there's two back. That's the last time he was on the show. I think right Today 11. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Here's today Hello Hey, buddy, how's it going? Oh good. Good Um, what are you what are you up to? Okay. Yeah, I just worked in the office today, you know, just like a big shit

kind of happy about it was one of these Uh Must have gone to a half of all the toilet paper And I'm not sure I'm going to be done. So I gotta go back for a rewipe Really Really Do you know you know you have to rewipe just because you could feel it?

Well, I just could tell by Tell by the lights that I was doing that that there was just some residual was just We came out there, you know, I said to myself So you come back and never you know, you ever take a dump on them to get home at night take off your underwear You realize you have a couple sunsets in your Man, okay. Yeah, and so I'm uh, I'm gonna go check that a bit. Wow, that's interesting

Have you been having pretty healthy dumps? Maybe I had one the other day It was kind of hard because I forgot to take my uh stool softener I need that and you know, I just have to force myself again to have to do it every day But other than that one the other day, which is kind of hard They're all been pretty good. You take a stool softener now. Oh, yeah I had no idea Yeah, sit yourself. It's good

You ever have one of those you ever have one of those days where you just fart a ton? Oh, yeah, oh, oh, I had one the other day Had one the other day no matter and uh Absolutely, you know the worst thing is and then you got people in your office. Oh, yeah, you know and you know and uh I was I was with uh What happens in a meeting I said, excuse me I I went to go to the bathroom. I didn't go to the bathroom to take a leak. I want to just take a fart Oh, just take a fart just a fart. Yeah, how was that?

Oh, it was smelly but then you know if you got to hang out a second because It stays inside your your drawer. So just because you fart outside a room you can bring it in with you. You're not careful You sure can and I've had that have happened before I farted one. Oh, yeah I farted a conference one time and and it stayed there. It stayed in the room for like Five minutes. It was horrendous. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, and then you get that, you know Now you got a place to get a good ventilation system You get some of these, you know offices or you know, some of the air conditioners off for a few minutes and Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's wow, man

Yeah, um a man I noticed that like if I stay away from certain food like I didn't have any seafood for like a week and then I had a bunch of sushi the other night I really I really shit crazy and then I farted A lot it was really really My farts sounded like somebody was shouting, you know, it was really loud. No kidding. No kidding No pretty it was pretty um powerful Sometimes I feel like farts will they almost Some of them were almost hurt your asshole. They come out with such a force

Yeah, oh, that's true. That's true. That's true. Yeah Well, anyway, uh mom's with the baby and you know, just She's like a big and shit right now. It's just unbelievable. Yeah Yeah, no, that's cool, man Well, uh, my dad in the next next month, buddy. Yeah, me too. I can't wait. It'll be fun. Yeah All right, buddy. All right. I love you. Okay. Bye. Bye There you go, and that's really you not even coaxing him. That's just his natural habitat. How he is pretty amazing That is rare that you caught. It's like catching him in the wild, you know

And to get a call from him and get it recorded like usually I call him But I went when he calls and he's like I go has no just working Took a big shit But I appreciate that because I feel like what else is there in life really? Yeah, he's definitely has the same Philosophy as you, you know, yeah, it's all that matters because if you don't shit it ruins your life And the baby by the way, he's talking about is that omg maria. You work in a number of Um dirty and disgusting. Just had another baby. You work in a number of right places But the last place that I know in new york that you worked at and having on the green

Well, there's a lot of uh Dominicans and Puerto Ricans working under you at that one. Was that that? Oh my god. No, thankfully no She just had a baby another one She had a girl she had a little girl boy and a girl so cute My parents especially my mother were really really losing their mind right now with a little baby girl. Oh my god, seriously. Oh my god So, oh my god, thankfully no No Puerto Ricans in America dirty and disgusting dirty and so she was running marathons up until Like the kid was born. You want to hear something crazy guys? Um that lunatic you've heard

If you don't know that, you know, she's a real real athlete and uh, you know, she she beat every guy in her naval academy Uh training whatever it's called first week kind of shit every single one except for one She walked five miles in florida Over a bridge in 93 degree heat the day before she gave birth She's so crazy Well, not only that uh, she was running. She's like I just I do like half marathons now It's like half what I normally do that was like she dialed that she didn't went down to like at six months

She was like, yeah, I'm not running anymore. I'm just doing like half stuff now. I kind of jog walking like But I have to I can't lift I was like, yeah, okay Maybe just don't then yeah, well because a doctor told her like you can't be running as much as you are The instruction and then she was like, yeah, could you not run marathons when you're seven months pregnant? Yeah, she was like, oh, yeah Yeah, so crazy crazy crazy jeans Um, let's see. I want to do this real quick

uh Jeans we gotta We got to wrap this up. We got to go see our doctor now. Yeah, we got to go visit our baby jeans our baby jeans We're gonna look at our little son. I'm so excited to see him see what he's been doing See if he's been farting. Oh, I'm sure I'm sure he's farting right now. Yeah Uh, let's see sign in I want to I wanted to see if I could uh figure out just to Give credit where credit is due. Um, who made the greasy e song? Um

Greasy e Do I have it? Here we go. It is max newman. Oh shit, of course max newman. Duh. Yes Durs Yeah Max newman He made a greasy and let's give a shout out to this guy. Yeah, um, we lift that up his name's written on there A tattoo artist made us a wonderful theo

Artwork at Derek the beard. Yeah, thank you. Derek the beard appreciate that it's framed It's in our studio right now and it looks amazing. It will be going to the new studio the new office It's theo dressed as a gangbanger. Yeah, that's amazing um Thank you guys for listening to this and of course Please jeans uh Please come to my seattle show

Um where i'm taping a special Could really use that Please and thank you in advance and we'll see you in clitsburg. Um, I don't like titsburg titsburg on friday um bring your tits out and we'll be there with uh michael chay jib norton should be a fun show chicago and then um

paniac detroit michigan for you i'm not coming right but you know i come home Come see the guide. I'll be in all three of those. So Let's have some fun Thank you guys. What do you say we go out on? On that max newman song. Yeah I'm greasy I'm gonna go try to take a shoot you guys

Again, all right. Well you heard her. Love you. We love you. Thanks for listening. Bye jeans Don't smell Hey Hey