Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 300-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 8, 2015

JEANS UP! We made it - to episode 300. Can you believe it? We never thought our jeans could get any tighter, but every day they sink into our skin even more.  This episode is pure mommy magic. From balloon porn and the lost souls that do it to what the most intimate of acts get you in the adult biz (it's $100).  Plus Jared from Subway and Cosby are both in deeper trouble as news of new allegations for one and MORE evidence for another comes to light - it's not good for either, Rudy. Did Tom get another Double Pipe Classic this week?? Was it something new? Find out! Plus we play some angry on set rants from actors and a new player enters the You Know What I'm Sayin championship, ya heard me? We also recap some of our all-time favorite moments. 

Welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, welcome to your mom's house, yeah yeah that one brings back so many memories this is plum with the your mom's house extended remix that one he he covers so many bases this is live well live because we're recording it live but this is our first momma so from the new studio and it's episode 300 oh chips in a ball cat eating out of the ball what else is there there's chips in a ball there's cat eating kibble and then

there's just the air raid siren their horns 300 can you believe we've talked about farts for 300 episodes I don't like to be like you know kind of pigeon to hold you want to box yourself in that fart right where it's like that's all we do yeah you know no there's a lot more we also do pornography clips black people yelling white people yelling Asian things mocking all different yeah poop stories wiping yeah denim dudes dudes on dudes groaning dudes you know what I'm saying a lot of you know it means local fries there's a new one of those that we're gonna we got a new submission oh I can't wait to hear it yeah so exciting

action-packed episode yeah yeah you were looking for earlier I think it's such a dumb sound I love it major excitement cat eating kibble out of a ball it's all good cat foods look it's almost time to put on our French Canadian jeans legions legions how do they say is there a word for it and French Canadian yeah blue jeans blue jeans right before that though I'm going to the east coast I have one show at the stress factory in New Brunswick July 15th the next day July 16th fartford Connecticut at the funny bone the next day 17th the bellhouse in Brooklyn sold out oh the next day my biggest show ever to date as a solo

comedian it's the Wilbur Theatre in Boston oh it is almost sold out jeans alive and yeah so thank you to all the people they got tickets to any of those shows and if you're still in if you're in New Jersey Hartford Fartford or Boston there's still a few tickets left it'd be great to fill those places up I thank you from the bottom of my heart then we go to Montreal Quebec Canada the 20th and jeans and I are doing those shows together I believe the 23rd we're doing the live podcast at the Hyatt that's together at the 23rd and then I go to Toronto for one night at the Toronto show yeah what day is that 25th I believe

no 26 I'm not fly back to 27th is that right yeah because you come home to 26 I come home to 27th that makes sense I'm doing show 27th in Toronto no 26 the 27th you just said 27 I just said the 26th and it's 26 in Toronto at the just for laughs comedy festival in Toronto at at the just for laughs the just for laughs comedy festival in Toronto is in November you know it's like some preview show or something for you don't have the venue location dude I don't know anything I know I don't know where I'm performing what I'm doing yet I just remembered out of my hands well go see jeans in Montreal and in TDOT I

forget you know when you forget you think a show is a certain time and you just remember you got it wrong yeah I forgot that my Portland shows are this month for some reason I thought they were at the end of no I'm saying it's exciting like I'm going to Portland I love that club I love that city and I'm going this month so the 30th 31st in August 1st I met helium in Portland and the very next week I shoot my special after after San Francisco Sacramento and guess is what they did tickets were selling well so they released more tickets to both to both shows both tapings the 7 and the 930 they're now

both available go to TomSugar.com the shows page and you click on the Neptune and it takes you to 7 and 930 show they released a bunch of tickets so if you want to come to that I would love to have you there jeans great I'm in LA I'm at the comedy store almost every weekend this week I'll be there probably Friday Saturday I'm staying home after mom Trial you know because I got this baby brewing inside of me yeah it's not fun to fly across the country no it's a long year and later pregnancy yeah yeah but I like this I still like to tell jokes and stuff you know I still I do it stills as you should yeah as you should easy peasy

dog yeah that's what I do all right is that it for you yeah what do you got no just saying yeah I'm ready I'll do the show let's have fun yeah that's what I'm saying but enough business work you know enough business work enough business work where's the thing that I I marked for this I got to pull it up this is a 300th episode okay you think you figured out you get it by now come on Tom come oh shit all right here here you blow me up episode 300 let's go come on hey it's Lola I'm super fucking warning I love rubbing my pussy on this inflatable whale so I'm gonna get myself off

all the span that's out there next to this whale I was like oh orgasm is a city who is Randy don't bring anyone loving to this welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pajitz and Christina Pajitz welcome to your mom's house yeah whoa that's not like a 300th episode that I see animals yeah that's a really nice clip what did you find that just posing pornography you know that was sent in by a listener it's real nice yeah send him by a listener it's not fucking hot yep it's pretty cool so she's wearing like this yeah one-piece spandex you know full body sure next outfit and there's an inflatable whale dolphin and she's just

like humping it like it's so so hot fucking morning I love rubbing my pussy on this inflatable whale sure I'm gonna get myself off kind of brings the mind I mean I look at I can't look at this now without thinking about that documentary I know I know because it's such an organic setup for her you know I make how many women are just laying around as in a spandex onesie yeah and then they're like I just want to rub my pussy out of inflatable whale yeah I mean it's not a common thing somebody sent another clip I mean this girl just does this for a while sure and she's

basically just writing it like you would ride she actually looks like she's writing it's like doing that like the seesaw you know just sure just like feet on the ground yeah squatting over and just going up and down like like it'd be fun to ride yeah you know yeah and it's for a pool you can tell that this belongs in a pool yeah it seems like it's a sanitary I don't know why I still know if it's as hot as she's describing it does it sound hot to me I guess this is for a genre because it says go to balloon sluts calm all balloon sluts yeah hugely popular balloon sluts balloon that's so amazing that there's such a

niche for everything now if you love and sluts see it says balloon sluts is a site all about balloon and inflatable fetish our site contains HD videos photo galleries watch all our hot beige dry hump bounce inflate and deflate hop and blow up masturbating with and on balloons and in floatable toys inflatable toys same girl I just love swimming to go to girls Lala yeah low Lola Lola think it was Lola Lola she's she's featured prominently on this site this is actually easy work I was gonna say compared to the the face fucking yeah but we learned about in that documentary watch on Netflix yeah that one where they

gag you and then you vomit everywhere that's and the guy insults you on top of it yeah that's a hard gig this is like taking a shit into a bag it's easy easy money or farting into the webcam easy money you said you wanted to do that can I tell you what I would do if I had to I would just fart into a webcam like first of all I would do webcam girls right because you're in control of that I wouldn't do this nonsense right webcam all the way and it's like hey do you want me to take a shit I got one one in the chamber and then I just eat a lot of apricot dried apricots and then I fart hmm what do you think yeah I mean that's

it seems like what would your racket be I don't know I mean this is like you're pretty hairy so you'd have to chew like a bear genre it seems like the farting thing would be kind of my genre too we know I'm good at that you know and then they're kissing and then I think the whole thing with this is misdirection he thinks it's gonna be like something like oh it's gonna be a three-way and he's like oh okay get on your knees what's that gonna lead to that's that's the whole oh part of what's enticing about this what's gonna happen right he doesn't the he's like oh okay yeah the booty I like that yeah a little bubble fry yeah

it's a mandatory that they all talk like this I don't know though I think you think you'd feel like imagine so imagine you go home and you have to be like I'm done now but mom and dad I did porn and then they're like what did you do it's not what you think would you have farther than these guys mouths that's nothing I don't know that's not even a thing you're you're open naked but hole is come on I don't like that part we forgot to mention why why do sluts all have vocal fry it's so weird I don't know how could there's no whores that talk normal I love the way that this site breaks down the farts it's like black

girls farting white girls farting it has to break down the girl they sound different according to race well I just think it's like really neat just what a black girl fart sounding so different let's check it out it's so weird that they have to break it up in the race yeah well it's real specific you got farts you got fart videos are you know you don't got no black girl farting nah man I ain't gonna check yeah Cuban farts only yeah it's like so weird but some guy out there is like if you don't have no Asian girls farting yeah I'm not interested 100% you're right Chinese only give me the milf 63 plus milfs

I want Asian I want that black part give me the black parts all right here's the girl let's see the black part let me see if I can hear let me see if I can hear the tonal difference I like it better already oh I hear the difference it's a flatter yeah it's got a lower tone tonal quality yeah it's not as crisp it's a little okay it's a little bassy oh interesting I'm sensing woody woody tastes this is Asian okay different notes I'm sensing Far East I'm sensing South Pacific I'm sensing some cinnamon diet hold on oh that's a vegan or vegetarian you know the real the way

they strip is this person's dignity doing it I really feel worse for the farther I see this girl's face and she's like I don't she's like I don't at all trying so hard see her parts are she's constipated I think so she's constipated she's not eating enough vegetables is she Japanese no not a chance Chinese Chinese they always have fried foods no it's a hard I can she's got number ones up there wait ones are the hard ones like pebbles right yeah yeah so she she needs more fiber she's really trying you can tell she's struggling I'm sorry what kind of Asian is she though I need to know she looks

like pan Pacific islands you know like Pacific Island okay so a lot of rice yeah you can tell she eats too much rice horrible watch her diet is terrible she needs more veggies I don't recommend this I don't recommend this site I have to say go back to balloons if I had to choose a genre that would be my genre because there's no penises going in or out of me all it is is just me with my pants down in my butthole farting what in people's faces and they lick your bottle which isn't not the worst thing that can happen to you yeah some guys like yeah it's just it's on him bro it's like you're dumb it's your

fault the balloon thing I didn't see that's when I didn't know there was a genre for I know people were scared of balloons yeah you know I'm scared when they pop yeah what's this called again balloon sluts balloons free plug episode 300 balloons let's somebody sent in drill sorry just to know this fucking Arabi great it's just a real aggressive but the theater of the mind time you have to paint the picture somebody said that it was actually a really funny orgasm sound in this but I don't I just see a pile driver into the butthole I don't like that one yeah and it's a

reverse pile dry I hate I was a real athlete though first of all how many people really practice pile driver in their everyday repertoire no it's like a porn only kind of move right pretty much I don't even think anyone's ever put me in one oh you don't think I'm trying to go back in time here I don't think I've been putting that choke hold yet I think people have done it as a joke like fully clothe like how do we try it before the kid gets too big I think now it's kind of now it's fine don't for months pregnant don't really good start be a baby what race is this kid gonna be you think am I gonna be

surprised no no of course not babe yeah it's gonna look just like I'm tapping out of that thing they said it's too crazy I mean I wanted to hear whatever they said but you know you can't send me a 28 minute porn scene like check out this sound where yeah get specific where where is the crazy sound you can't watch 28 minutes of pile driving not reverse pile drive pounding what is a reverse pile I don't understand so she's on her back mm-hmm her legs are up and you know he's squatting down he's facing the other way oh that's the hair into her butt and he and it also you know let's be on he's

got a dick on him yeah like it hurts for sure it hurts it doesn't even sound appealing at least maybe it is appealing I mean some people like that of course so many people like it well yeah I mean millions of people well some do not everyone has the same flavor yeah okay same strokes same folks same folks different same folks different folks same strokes for different folks yeah no I know there's people absolutely adore reverse pile drive yeah a lot of ladies out there really like reverse anal pile driver well let's talk about this movie that we're we're we brought it up before I watched it and then I saw you

watching it and it was called hot girls wanted Rashida Jones was one of the producers of it when I told you I talked about it slight a little bit on that Joe Rogan episode that we did together yeah of saying I said I watched it and like it it doesn't bring about anything you don't watch it go like oh I never knew like you know I mean yeah to me it's like oh really young girls are exploited in point born I had no idea it's it's what you expect it's just that it's it's done in a way where now you're like oh yeah like this is bad right it's kind of you know at first I was like you know mortified obviously you're

always like oh this is such a bummer I happen to think that the way that the girls are exploited now is almost more humane than back in the day like back in the 70s and 80s yeah meaning like you show up in Miami you live in some scumbags house you you know you do three months worth of internet crap and then you go back to your town in Arkansas mm-hmm you know I mean it doesn't look as like I feel like back in the day you had to sleep with directors and producers yeah that guy oh I think you know back then it was more about the sex because there wasn't all that money you know I mean like money wasn't now it's a billion

dollar industry so like you're there's obviously creepers in that industry but the thing that you're really really gonna go after like if you're the guy behind the scenes is you want the money so it's more about there being exploited yes it's quicker than it is like blow me for this yeah back then it was about the good time the good times now it's like all right come on hoe get undressed let's go bang bang bang and you're out it sucks it's and it's what you expect it's like 18 year old girl from usually from a smaller town is brought is presented with the opportunity of hey you can make a thousand dollars or eight hundred

dollars today and you can do it like five days a week and they're like what it's so much money you know especially like at that age you're like that's a crazy amount of money and they have they really can't even think of another way to make that kind of money yeah and it's like I'm young I'm this is the time to do this you know you're at the you're most attractive they think you know I'm never gonna be hotter than this and then someone's offering you a hundred a day all the time to blow loads in your face well my favorite there's one girl what's the name of the documentary first called hot girls wanted yeah and there's one

girl who's from some small town I'm from Arlington right Texas Arlington Texas not yeah that's not yeah yeah well she lives in Arlington yeah but that's not no she says it she over and over is like it's such a shitty back it's hot a lot of fuck 11 us I don't want to I don't want to have a normal life and this and that and you're like well first of all you're not from a totally small town that isn't a small totally yeah I mean that's that Arlington has a population 380,000 yeah that's not the worst but also like she was promising she was a cheerleader she was involved in high school activities something tells me

that she could have gotten like a scholarship somewhere oh she was a bright girl yeah but instead she was like I just I gotta get out of here now and I got to go to Miami and I got to do a bunch of porn it was so great and heartbreaking when she comes home and she talks to her mom who's like five hundred pounds and just tear patrol it's like so brutal yeah you fucked up your kids and porn man there's always a thing where people fun everyone knows the mother like new course yeah everybody knows if you're doing porn everybody and like the parents always have to be like you know I still love you like no

you don't I don't have to love you if you're fucking porn star no yeah but you know yeah it's a bummer it's a bummer to watch yeah cuz they all talk about how creepy it is and how gross the dudes are later on it's like they're like it's always the scenario of some older dude and it's her first time with an older guy or something but here's one of the great things about porn is that you know they don't expect you to do all the same things for the everything on the menu for the same price you get you get paid extra to go the extra mile extra yeah yeah yeah so this is one of the great sound bites this is a highlight

of the documentary is this actual clip right here this girl she had just done her her first scene scene yeah so she this is a different girl just arrived at the house and you know same kind of scenario she's like I like sex I can make money this is a fun thing and she just shot her first scene yeah he came with your cream pie no mama's in the cream pie it was just a he came on my stomach type thing oh today I did two cream pies but all I all I did was just I went to Walgreens got the candy pills so didn't I thought they gave you extra for that didn't yeah yeah I mean for the baby they gave me an extra

hundred dollars for that and maybe pills only like 40 something bucks so that's 60 bucks that I get to keep why not like planning like always works I guess I don't know okay yeah 60 bucks I get to keep like yeah bro fucking down I get in I don't know if this is registering everybody so she did poor and then it was like I would like the standard is the guy's gonna pull out but then this guy was like I'll give you a hundred bucks if I can finish inside of you and I'll give you a you know you get a hundred dollars and she's like I'll have to do is buy the

plan B pill for 40 bucks which means this whole thing I get to profit I get to net 60 bucks for letting a stranger come inside of me it's a really good deal it's a good deal it's a good racket it's a good deal I love how pregnancy is their only concern with that and they're not even that concerned like none of them are on the birth control pill the one that goes home to Texas the mother goes well are you on the pill she's like now they all pull out it's totally fine like okay well it's it's pretty yeah it's like that that right there shows you the mindset of who's doing it's more about that that

like who's doing this the person that that goes I get to keep 60 bucks for that you only think that way when you're 18 US dollars no even a 25 year old girl be like fuck out of here with that you know like 18 is when you're like 60 bucks but I feel like you know I feel like even when I was 16 or 18 if someone guy was like hey can I come in you you make 60 bucks I'm like no no no dude I wish I would have offered that more when I was 16 I had 60 bucks I could have like how come all inside all you over 60 bucks plan B box man works on what a racket unbelievable 60 fucking dollars how

materialistic are these chicks too like the one from Texas her whole one of the other ones who was wearing glasses some girl was like you know she's all I love my town you know everything I wanted to do in Miami I wrote a Lamborghinis I drank champagne nice cars travel at that age you don't know what's going on you don't you think that that's the most exciting thing I guess yeah here's 60 bucks and they're not hot dudes the dude like old old dudes that these chicks would never get within a million there's that super roided out one and then the girl was like that was horrifying she talks about how gross he was or how

gross the end of the scene was something like it was like yeah and she and they I don't know I don't want to I don't want to spoil the movie for you but yeah some of them take different paths after the movie also interesting through line I don't know if you were aware but a lot of French pedicures and French manicures and acrylics long acrylic males French Mani Petty the French Mani Petty has always been a sticking point for me you've said this before it's you know what it is for me it's the it's it's the I want to be fancy nail way of getting your nails done these are fancy yeah hey I got French tips on them now you know

like they do in France they don't do that but that's the that's who does it shandy Ray shandy Ray I got my I did my I did my blonde tips in the sink I got blonde hair now as you can see I got my French tips my fingers and my toes and make it like real fancy like they're all trash and they all eat dog shit food ladies look I know there's we're gonna get like what's wrong with my friend here we go here's what's wrong with it pick a solid color all right just paint your whole fucking nail paint the whole name it doesn't make it classier to paint the white part and you know like shit might be a classy lady that gets it

done yeah good for you but that's also good for you that's the white trash way of getting your nails done to yeah it is bro yeah kind of is yeah it's a trailer parks have a lot of fucking French Petty's and Manny's yeah I'm acceptable I'm telling you I know we're gonna get some pushback on this pick a color and tell them today I'm feeling kind of crazy paint the whole nail don't just do the edge wow paint the whole nail and another variant they do is the black French that's way worse that's way worse I should just got way worse bad that one looks dirty dirty oh wait my oh you got some dirt and oh no so

grody first of all acrylic nails I think they they're just magnets for dirt too I can't even imagine did you happen to catch by the way in this documentary jeans when he picked red redly Ridley the guy whose house they'll stay in Riley Riley Riley the scumbag agent that recruits them from Craigslist picks them up at the airport picks this girl up and it's her first minute in Miami and he's like you guys want to get some to eat and she's like yeah put it on the plastic and they roll up to like an Arby's and that's like put it on the plastic the Arby's are you picking this up thanks man yeah the girl is going away

to college and she's still a virgin and I am the real good friend of the family what a night to take advantage of that oh boy this is my favorite night yeah this is before they're they're seen off offscreen and you can tell she's kind of mortified yeah I like seeing that the the total lack of chemistry when it's like when someone's like oh and he's like hey and she's like fuck right take in my surroundings this is like a basically a scene a shoot like this is like a first date where anyone go on and you and you could be like oh like just you know it's on there's no chemistry or there is chemistry or you know it's

this or that except in like 30 minutes he plows her for 800 so it's so bizarre that's your first date with somebody and then he gonna she just met him so and then at her main line is well no I've never looked at you that way cuz I consider you like my alcohol and you kind of without even getting a yes you kind of almost start to like keep going with it you know and and then eventually you you can just tell her you know what just kind of like move over you kind of just start taking them off you know what I mean it's not you never even really got that full yes but you've been kind of giving little yeses didn't

get the full yes full yes is always good to get I think you know okay and then they look they're both staring off like he realizes that she's not into him it's so uncomfortable so let's do it oh she's got big long French Manny yeah they they definitely make it look like the least fun thing yeah and again not all these girls are totally without other opportunities to yeah they're not all dopes but we should make our message clear yeah we don't want you girls to stop doing porn I mean don't take this warning as like I shouldn't do this keep doing porn we need you well we need less of you I mean look back in the day

there was like 20 people in porn now it's never quit you know what's a real bummer is cuz I condom lawn now that all the porn business will move to Miami well it's still here and you know we never I don't want to lose it gosh no but yeah a lot of them have gone yeah a lot of them Miami does seem more like a good porno town than LA seems like they should start porno in schools there yeah that you want to see your first scene I welcome to Miami junior high we're gonna go over a porno since today do you like money do you like $60 you want riding a Lamborghini and drink champagne like

like we Rick Ross we're gonna show you how to make that money today okay wait a minute you have to have jobs huh you have to blow jobs you had to do that you know what real job is we're gonna do it we're gonna do it on camera today okay it sounded like you were targeting one specific it's all kind of people okay everybody here has a different way of we all talk different we all look different but it's Miami okay this is a 305 you know so you're saying like you could take a test on career day and if you score like porno porno actor I think if you went to school in the Miami public school system yeah then you know how to

do porno there's automatic it's like extracurricular they're like where'd you go to school like Miami and they're like you're not a porno like of course I know how to porno I went to school Miami man it's so hypersexual there dude one of the guys told me there like I was like shut the fuck I'm not just saying this because of Jared from Subway but he said that when he was in like elementary school they were all hypersexual they who his classmates in Miami in Miami yeah he was like yeah we were all doing like blow jobs and sex in like fifth and I was like come on man he was like I swear to God I swear to God but you wish your

parents moved to Miami had just driven two more hours yeah the fuck mom said you got that tranquil part of Florida that's super yeah you learned to do blow jobs you could do like double anal and double vaginal you want to make like $800 a day so what's up with you fresh this is pretty crazy if you don't know it's pretty great it's been everywhere it'd be hard to miss but that far was horrible you know I was about to say was that you're the dog and I just realized there's no dog here oh my god my mouth's open I'm still on man all you've been doing is this because the pregnancy farts are the worst blaming our son it's

your fault because half your DNA is brewing that you your son farting inside of me this is you inside of me farting you know that right babe don't blame me this is you it's all your fault I'm so upset boy is farting at me anyways yeah Jared apparently had his house searched for child pornography it was on yeah kind of drive computer he kept it in his work files we don't know work has been arrested as of yet right right but I read on TMZ that he kept he kept his favorites with the work files are you serious to say that yeah on TMZ this morning is like well this comes four months after the executive director of

his foundation Russell Taylor was arrested on child porn charges and at that time he like severed like I'm you know the release one of those statements I'm completely floored by this and I've cut all ties and this guy's you know no longer is I'm associated with him but you go okay that you know that that's what happens with this when these things happen then today FBI raided his home they had like a forensic lab like a you know mobile forensic lab there they search for calm with blue lights oh my god they they said here's what's going on right now he has not been charged with any crime he's been cooperating continues to

cooperate subway issued a statement we are shocked about the news and believe it is related to a prior investigation of a former Jared Foundation employee we are concerned and will be monitoring the situation closely the guy the other guy that was fired his his old associate faces eight preliminary federal felony charges including multiple counts of possession of child pornography voyeurism child exploitation boy he said at the time that he was you know amazed as you know learned of when he learned that he was shocked you know the thing is that there this is one of those crimes there is no bouncing back from this to the

point where there's almost no point of bouncing back from just being associated or you know being in that realm in other words if it comes out that like nothing like there's nothing there's nothing at all they have nothing on him and they're like we were just investigating the other guy and we had to you know that investigation led us here but there's nothing here it's almost still hard to shake what happened today yeah that's one of those things that even being like I associated some in any way with it completely you're you're done the stink it's like Bill Cosby yeah those hoagies it's all in the hoagies they make you

crazy and that poody is is no longer poody's no good and that he's in the news but but Jared if you guys don't know I've mentioned it before on the show I have Jared's phone number in my phone should we call him and ask about you think I'll answer today I've never I haven't talked to him in 10 years you could have been BFFs with Jared you realize that had you done that subway campaign oh my god there he is yeah I wonder if it's the same text and be like it's the same it's the area code fresh motherfucker when I shot I shot a few commercials that was gonna launch a new campaign for subway in 2005 it's ten

years ago wow it's ten years ago that I went there ten years ago last week that's really yeah I remember when you got it we were so excited it was gonna be a huge campaign you're gonna make a ton of money yeah I still remember it was you know this is ten years ago and I was gonna get 250 thousand dollars plus once the ads aired enough where I would have earned that I'd get any overage plus I would get like shoot day pay like you know your day rate my day rate and then they were like we're gonna work out something with subway get away to that's the best part yeah of course and they're like you don't ever eat once once you

get this never eat other fast foods like so it never be seen eating other fast foods the worst part of it all but the idea behind the campaign was this which is actually pretty hilarious is that Jared was you know this whole the reason he became famous was he was like 430 pounds he was in college and when they opened a subway like in his building that he lived in he would walk down there or was around the corner and he would eat two sub like a six inch turkey and a six inch veggie every day and walk and he lost like 230 pounds so for lunch or whatever it's a six inch turkey and then it's dinner it's disgusting yeah and he

lost he lost over two pounds so when they went so we heard about it you know they just ran like an ad it was just like hey look at this guy lost all his way eating subway and they didn't think it would take off but what happened was it did take off and people were like you know he became it was gonna be like a you know a one-time thing and then a temporary thing and then he just became the spokesman for subway gosh and then he started getting like you know crazy money like it like a like an athlete would get to endorse it and then he would get speaking fees and appearance fees and said today there's net worth

is 15 million unbelievable and he's never had a job because that was out of college so he's just been a spokesman for 15 years or for yeah a little over like a little over that wow so anyways the idea for this campaign was that I would be a character but the character would be his brother so the first one we shot we went we flew to New York we shot in Jersey was a fan a focal family reunion and I pull up and I'm his fuck-up brother and my name was Jerome and I was just like Jerome and they wanted to keep it J for so like it like it couldn't be fucking Bill it had to be J names like so they're like Jerome and

then after like a couple meetings and conversations I was we all were like that's a pretty black like there's white guys named Jerome I know that many but not and I go and you people hear Jerome and just one of those things you go that's a black name yeah and then the ad agency was like we agree and subway agreed so they agreed to change it to Jermaine so that's much less black yeah it's a super white guy named hey Jermaine Jermaine yeah and Jermaine to pray it's me Jermaine Jermaine Jackson yeah sure sure sure so anyways it's like fucking ridiculous so we go and we we shoot this and the idea of having this

character and making a full campaign we were gonna shoot ten commercials oh my god one of those like launch things was that the character could be used to promote unhealthy subs because with Jared they're limited to like the veggie some the turkey sure you can only talk to like promote we have the healthy options but they're like we have a chicken parm sub a meatball sobs out that's where you come those were the ads he was like I'm having a turkey sub with like you know lettuce and tomato I go and I'm having the meatball sub and then I would eat the meatball sub man that hold that actually was a

disaster that mean the director hated me he didn't want me for the for the part but the ad agency and the producers want me he hated me it was like the most uncomfortable awkward just bad bad it was a bad experience and I found out that I didn't that the campaign was completely cut out by a friend and my ad agents didn't even know they were so excited obviously sure it's a huge payday I get a sucks about subway I get like a text like that what are you talking about somehow they looked it up then I looked it up and then I called my advertising agent and I go dude we lost the campaign like we didn't get it and he's like

what are you talking about and then what happened was the marketing VP at Subway retired oh my god right that's right so it was like when the new guy came in damn it but the which is very common new guy goes will kill all everything to kill all the babies that are existing and and then create new ones and that's why I credit for yeah and so it wasn't even like they never we shot two or three and I've never seen them they've never aired well they're in there in the can somewhere they're in the can somewhere but aren't you glad that that never went dude this is a much better path that I well because there

were a bunch of restrictions like you couldn't do stand-up I remember that was in your contract well I could do stand-up but it would be like but they were gonna censor what you could talk about yeah it was the other thing is that we talked about this too I would have been I'd be like fucking screech from save by the yeah whether everyone would be like you're the fucking subway guy yeah it's very hard to get out from under that once you're that guy that's terrible you don't want to be that so glad that didn't I had no beard then so I would have grown this and done this that's true oh that's true huh yeah but

so but you got to know yeah we mean we would here's the thing like the weight was always the thing like he was worried about you know people would like like subway people would be like you know whispering he's put on a few pounds like because they had to keep them thin and we hung out one night after we shot we back to the hotel we got a pizza and we just watched like kiddie porn and jerked off this is the best was the best night ever but we did we got pizzas and it was like it was like it was like we were being like I wasn't being bad but I could tell

he was it was for him it was being bad yeah you know he was like I can't tell he had a buddy like a you know a friend that just hung out who was like you know they're fucking talking shit about Jared saying that he gained too much we didn't gain shit and he was like fuck them like you know that's his life is like they're monitoring did you put on 20 or 30 pounds yeah and then like we had our pizzas like like bad girls like secret fat chick night yeah and did Jared have a girlfriend back then I think he was married yeah and he's still married but he's married to somebody else so oh it's a different different

little girl different he married a new of Filipinos he's on his second wife and she was a teacher not for long 2010 I think and they have a kid for a long if oh boy a kid well it's not true like I said he has not been arrested but it's bad it's it's not true Tom and Bill Cosby it's I don't know it's not sure I'm not sure I mean there's an innocent until proven guilty Tom I'm with whoopee Tom I'm not sure I don't know I wasn't there for the rapes mm-hmm how stupid is whoopee Goldberg saying that utter fucking nonsense on the view today did you happen to catch that it's so dumb that she said that it's it's so dumb and she but the

whole thing she was like you know innocent until proven guilty I've been accused an entire political party what was she accused of whoopee Goldberg do you remember no idea I want to say it's something with a tea party some shit like that a while ago whoopee controversy yeah and she's like I know what it's like to be falsely accused yeah she sure did say that bitch no one cares about you nobody cares grow some eyebrows crazy let's say whoopee Goldberg accused give me a break but anyway she claims that she's still the jury's still out for her Jesus yeah what it what is the accusation what is the thing accused

of hitting real housewives cast member she was accused of hitting Michael Salahi the real housewives of DC so something like so I don't know it sounds like something fucking retarded but let's see whoopee Goldberg refuses to condemn Cosby after new evidence emerges that's my favorite part she says oh Goldberg joked about being a former Kwaylood user and said she doesn't like snap judgments because she seen people do the same to her save your text save your nasty comments I don't care she adds to cheers from the audience that's my favorite is that the audience of the view they'll applaud anything that whoopee

says like she's now the the Hitler the the fear of the the view everybody claps okay she goes I say this because in my this is my opinion in America still I know it's a shock but you actually were innocent until proven guilty he has not been proven a rapist asked then for what the motivation we have audio you want to hear yeah yeah I'd rather hear her talk about yeah me yeah well we should point out first that yesterday yeah the story broke it was pretty big news that in a I think a 2005 deposition that Cosby admitted to giving girls Kwayloons which by the way are extremely hard to find unless he'd

save them from the 70s because they discontinued making Kwayloons in the late 70s early 80s and I know this because I tried finding them in college in the 90s and they're impossible you try getting them in the course they sounded awesome and I was looking and they're like yeah they saw making Kwayloos ages ago yeah okay so what happened was yeah he I was trying to find audio of that of the you know bill of what they found of what they you know I can't think of a word but you know I'm saying evidence yeah the the admission oh the the fucking testimony what's that called deposition yeah this is what broke yesterday

let's see if I can get this to play yeah back want to build Cosby's accusers says she struggled for decades to get people to take her claims seriously she says the comedian drugged her and raped her in the 1980s when she was a teenager and an aspiring actress that woman is Barbara Bowman she is now an ambassador for PAVE which is an organization that works to prevent sexual violence and empower victims thanks for coming appreciate it thank you chef I appreciate being here he took the time to figure out as I've read of your past figure out what your situation was and

as you've put it it fit perfectly for what his desires were could you explain them to our viewers he was grooming me from the start the very first meeting that I had with him which was an audition within the first 30 minutes he knew everything about me he knew I was an only child he knew that I had no father figure in my life all right we get all the liar liar what how dare you besmirch our beloved Bill Cosby basically I was just trying to find you some audio of them talking about that he admitted to the room start to spin the quailutes so that's that's the big thing is that you know a lot of people who defended him

were like what you know these are just accusations all these 40 women using him of this exactly the same thing over and over in detail and gravity he admitted that he got quailudes again to give the women he wanted to have sex with and this was back in 2005's deposition that was I think settled right afterwards and it was buried right it was hidden to wasn't it yeah he's a pillar of the community yeah very family-oriented and here's worn deposition here's what was asked when you got the quailudes was it in your mind you were going to use these quailudes for young women that you wanted to have sex with Cosby replied yes did

you ever give any of those young women the quailudes without their knowledge and at that point Cosby's attorney objected and told him not to answer the question yeah and there was a back and forth he said he acquired seven prescription to quailudes with the intent to give the sedatives a young women he actually did not admit to actually drugging any of his accusers he did say he gave drugs to other people but when she we asked him if he gave the other people quailudes knowing they were illegal Cosby's attorney again interjected and says client acknowledge only giving them to a woman whose name

is redacted see innocent innocent yeah I mean doesn't that wreak of an innocent man yeah I mean it seems like a super innocent dude like a cool dude it's it is so it still strikes me it's like that we're talking about Cosby I know and it's so funny because I want to be able to joke about it and I still can't because I'm still mortified I'm still shocked that it's our beloved bill it's like losing your favorite uncle yeah the favorite uncle that you did porn with remember it's so it is fucked up it's like where we've lost our father figure it's very hard yeah I think we're all still in shock right yeah it's pretty

nuts it's really it's really crazy so anyways how much would you would you accept $60 for Bill Cosby to cream pie you I mean I would want them to pick up the the extra the overage the cost of the plan B pill I feel like you know that's the part that I would push on the negotiation I would say I want you guys to pick this up the plan the pill the pill I feel like never like you know I don't know I'd be like well it's just what I want you weren't it who would you rather get raped by Bill Cosby or Jared from Subway oh my god what Cosby why because I just comedy hero yeah I mean it's it's horrific yeah but between the

two yeah you think you think he'd be a more loving choice than Jared I think Jared's way timid and he is sweet like he wouldn't hurt you he's got that loose skin you know from like losing 400 pounds so I'd rather have just like that you're so superficial what about Bill's wonky eye what about his crazy eyes might be able to distract him that way I'm sorry snapping my fingers I would like to do that yeah yeah dude he's a fucking serial rapist it's so crazy mm-hmm it's so crazy anyways speaking of crazy you the other day we were in the living room yeah you unleashed a move I have never seen by any human being in 39

years of life on come on I've never seen anybody do something like that don't just like shower me with compliments like what I make me feel you know I want to give you credit where credit is due Tom okay every now and then you do something what did I do why don't you describe it as your invention I don't want to spoil it I sneeze farted burped farted and then burped it was like Simon says like you know when you have to follow that series now I want to make a really clear point it was not a double pipe classic a lot of people will be like oh you did it you did it again I assume that of you because when I watch

it I go was that a double pipe classic did you just do a quadruple pipe classic clarify why well because they were all separate I mean that first sneeze helped that push that fart out the first part you know exactly what causes that kind of fart but yeah they were not at the same time and then there was never a burp in a fart at the same time that's what's really rare that's what's hard to do I've had it happen but that wasn't that because they were all separate notes you know it was sneeze yeah fart burp fart sneak like that but they were like one after the other yeah because I was I was sitting on the couch with the dogs

and I looked up at you you're right in my line of vision and you were like you did your usual like and then you go but then you were like hachoo hachoo and then do it again Simon says I believe it was sneeze fart sneeze burp a lot of times they burp after I see you don't have to look at yeah you do so I got not most people just you where I go sneeze fart burp and then I think it was fart sneeze burp again like that sneeze fart burp sneeze burp fart like wow wow but all one after the other it was cool don't get me it was very cool but it wasn't you know well have you have you thought of a name for this new series

I don't know it's you know it's rapid fire I don't know it's like full metal jacket you know it's like a full like that it's like a full clip you know it's like everything everything at once but I don't have the name and it's not it's not like a rat I mean I was certainly embarrassed you weren't mortified don't pretend now another thing you do which I find amazing is that you'll wake up from a night of sleeping and just waking up makes you have to belch violently mm-hmm what's that about mmm I think it's just swallow air lay down air gets trapped in there yeah sit up belch yeah I heard that embarrassed you're

not embarrassed you should be it was disgusting so mortified should we go back to you want to hear whoopee real quick yeah she's retarded yes I have that that's the audio of her and and by the way there's one sane person on that panel and it's this wonderful girl whose name I can't recall I've actually I did a pilot with her Raven no Raven Simone there's a girl who's a standup comedian and she's like the youngest she's one of the younger girls oh she's a brunette she's she's wonderful I've met her before Collins yeah yes Melanie Collins maybe that's so shit I don't know but she's on the view she sits in the

middle and she's like the only one that's so I haven't seen the view is this all this is the cast now yeah it's like whoopee Goldberg and then this political lady and then sometimes Raven Simone and then sometimes that Collins girl and then sometimes Rosie Perez but they kind of like rotate so everybody else is gone yeah yeah that is gone I knew that she was gone I didn't everybody else was and then that what about the kind of red haired you know yeah she's gone I didn't know if we're gone yeah I think I think it became and they had a good they had a good run let's be honest dude it's a it's a hugely successful popular

show yeah but what's happened is since all those original cast members have gone yeah whoopee's kind of like the OG gangster of it yeah and she kind of puppeteers she has the last say on everything on every topic you'll notice yes she speaks loudest and she speaks last she got really aggressive at one point during this conversation she gets fired up on every topic on that show here's exactly what they want they want her and then she then the audience just bursts into approval whatever whatever she says she could be advocating fucking killing midgets and babies and the audience will be like yes whoopee yes like

she could start a cult at this point with these women who watch the view and it's mostly women in the audience who are just furiously applauding whatever the fuck whoopee Goldberg says yeah yesterday 2005 court documents were released where Bill Cosby admitted he gave quailudes to a woman before having sex with her back in 1976 he insisted the sex was consensual and the case ended in a settlement so I guess what everybody wants to know is does this change your mind the fact that you found out he's using quailudes to have sex well it doesn't change my mind because I thought he was guilty before this testimony came

out so my mind is still the same I still think he's guilty I think the reasoning that they gave for hiding this testimony with that um he didn't want to embarrass himself that's what it like family or his man Michelle Collins yes which but to me it's like don't you think it was more embarrassing for these 40 or so women to come forth and well this was just this was one woman and I believe I don't think this I think this was 2000 yeah this is the University of Temple okay and what's interesting to me is that the judge the reason these documents were released is the judge judgment call I guess judges get to do that that because Cosby had

taken such a moral role in society that because he weighed in on parenting because he weighed in on you know American life in a moral way that keeping this secret was not necessary so it's an interesting um I think twist to all this and I think you're right like I think if you always thought he was guilty and the women that have accused him feel like oh the truth is finally out but if you if you're outside this and to me I always said to the to the um agitation of some people um that it was unknowable to me like I still feel like I don't I don't I like like now what I know it's unlistable the whole point of this

there's actually the point is that when well they have a girl who is on the Cosby show Raven Simone yeah so she's sitting there she doesn't really get involved because she's like no because she's like he gave me my start so I really don't want to say anything but whoopee what I was going to say so I actually just recently tested for a pilot with her with Rudy not with Raven Simone with Rudy and Cosby came up it was a talk show panel she's sitting right next to me and none of us had brought up that she was on Cosby show and during like this test you know we're like going like we're

ten where were you when I say a test for a pilot it means they put you on a panel and you pretend like you're on a talk show right so we're talking we're talking and then Cosby comes up in her face just like you can see it and she's like you know I don't really want to talk about it he was always nice to me and this and that we're like yeah right but that I understand that she's more she could tell us she was massively bummed that anybody had brought it up because probably for you know and like there's people like this that commit horrible crimes there's some people that never see a bad side of them yeah so

there's you know it could be that every cast member on that show is like I've never had a bad experience with them dude where the fuck is Camille why is it Camille's spoken up she did that one interview where she just sat there and smiled and she was like I want to talk about the things that the people dude Camille's so uh do you think she's just so over it she's so used to him she knows what she's doing this crap you know and when you've been married like 50 years you know who's there you know he's been a monster probably but we've heard stories he's a savage you and I have heard stories behind closed doors

he's a savage about stuff that he's done not raping we but we've heard rumors of who he is even prior to this and part of that agreement he has is like do you like all the money in the jets look at all the poody I got here this is clean poody do you like hoagies in the fridge all the time and the sweaters to keep you warm at night so much poody my god they would eat all the poody my god do you think Camille's just enjoying that poody life so she is she loves the poody life and there's nothing she can do do you think I seriously and I'm not just saying this there's no amount of money or comfort in the world yeah that could keep me with a shitty partner

or in a miserable marriage or a miserable yeah yeah she's got to be terrified of life she's probably terrified of him maybe she's seen some scary sides to him come on yeah yeah he beats her with the pudding pops I don't know if he beats her but I'm saying she's seen the demon before sure she of course and it's an old enough relationship and like old school enough where like she might it might be the kind where you just tolerate the way the way this is oh she's she probably believes in the sanctity of marriage and you stick by her man blah blah blah sometimes a man rapes other you know yeah unforgivable I would I would leave him and take half of his poody money did you hear that did I register

smells horrendous I ate a whole thing of chips and salsa before we started this is gotta end it can't it's gonna end in five more months five months you get my asshole back to the way it was do you want to hear this I think this is the part where Rudy gets really upset that's not Rudy what's her name whoopee because Raven doesn't talk she does well she says a few things but whoopee okay let's hear whoopee whoopee gets really dumb to me just guilty guilty guilty yeah yeah well as a former quailude user tell me this has a former quailude because like I don't even know what a quailude is okay I've never seen one I don't know if it's a pillow yeah I don't know can you hide it can you

hide it and can you slip a quailude to someone but it's it's uh you know I'm sorry the eighties I like that she makes it like it's uh it happened she's so funny for everybody clearly but um you know I think it's again we'll see what happens you know as more information comes out people can make judgments I'm not I don't like snap judgments because I've had snap judgments made on me so I'm very very careful and I you know save your texts save your nasty comments because I don't care I say this because this is my opinion and in America still I know it's a shock but you actually were innocent until proven guilty until proven guilty he has not been proven but what oh boy here's the because we actually have like a oh boy you know

something along the same lines today with the Jared story I could see somebody like well wait a minute because you guys just yeah you're right but here's the difference the difference is that the Jared story is that an investigation has begun which is already pretty horrific and you know it's very unlikely that nothing is gonna bad's gonna come of this but it's just an investigation it's not 40 kids said that Jared touched me sure or 40 kids said Jared asked me to send pictures of myself like oh boy there was my name all these people saying saying they had a similar type of story and 40 went and then people were like so and then you have the evidence of him admitting that that is his drug of choice and then people still go so what yeah that's the

crazy part I think the term snap judgment implies hasty not enough evidence right but in this case the cause there's a lot it's it's not a snap judgment anymore it's it's a well thought out consistent argument at this point but yeah people Jill Scott flipped you see that snap yes I saw that too yeah Jill Scott was like I she said well she was like I was wrong you know which is great it's good we all are yeah but snap bitch this ain't no snap no mo this is some real real shit you know it's such a real real downer to talk about this stuff yeah let's go back to that balloon humping sure yeah that was pretty cool that was fun yeah yeah it's really neat I'm kind of lightening yeah what are you eating there popcorn do you think they want to hear you

eating popcorn I don't think so but I don't know can you understand what this guy's saying um what do you think something about Amanda Amanda was saying right you got that so far about all this food in the list in the newspaper it's not really true I mean I have been eating this food but um but what the paper was saying um it was they put it all in like a a big camper but what I think things in therefore all my food I was eating eating in the past absolutely in the past um but I got up to one I got up to one me now sure he was eating pasta and he did some spiritual exercises huh and it's and it's yeah and I think what you were saying though is if

people put food in front of you you can't help yourself you just you keep eating um not you do I asked for the food yeah I asked for the food and you know um I'm pretty good going back to when I was in my old staff what what is happening well he's being interviewed in a different kind of position that most people are interviewed in like how would you describe the interview as Britain's fattest man so it's a ginormous poor bloated sack of a human being he's beyond he's so fat and he's laying on his side stomach-ish yeah and his face down and his tits are ballooning up and acting as a pillow to keep his head off of the mattress he's home he's in bed a woman is

being at him at his house and a woman yeah he's being interviewed by like a lovely woman and who looks more lovely than ever next to him it's some morbidly obese yeah wow so he's dead he died no you're kidding you know you think if you're going on television you would um first of all he's nude with just a blanket were you about to say you like you would lose some weight before your team no no no no certainly not you would at least put on a shirt something you think he has a lot of shirts that fit but i think that he didn't need to do the interview naked with just a blanket covering him the uh the tits are really really huge he's got like dog the bounty hunter wife tits yeah

so he was uh he was up to nine hundred and ten pounds bullshit Manuel Uribe was a thousand at least why is that bullshit i'm saying like he's not the fattest person i'd like to know i feel like britain can do better britain here's a challenge straight from your mom's house nine hundred and ten pounds or as you say sixty five stone is not enough yeah sixty five can you get bigger can can you get fatter more bang is in mesh mommy mommy mommy i have some extra poids if i wear my body mommy eight more crisps to get fatter i don't want to be the most fat but i would like to get fatter a little bit please mommy how old was this gem he's uh 13 right here he's not 13 no he's not he's so fat

martin i guess my second foot i'm leaving him now look they um they put me and i was eating i was bingeing i was i was eating i was eating fruit i've been in two days uh one day time over for the week fiffle he does that fiffle that yeah i said a bit of a whiffle and that uh some cockney his shit they they disabled the comments on this video just just i think for you know for his own yeah just to give him a little supper a little break uh he's 32 years old oh that's old man that's a waste i would say what a waste of life but i think he's already wasted it Jesus Christ he didn't give a fuck about life i don't give up he didn't give him he gave no fucks for life that guy

you want to hear um this uh we have a submission of it's not you know i'm saying but it's in the wheelhouse yeah it's you hear me you hear me you heard me cool um so you count them as you heard me and of course when you count we're looking for the most mentions in the least amount of time so on this one it's uh i believe it's you heard me it's his version of you know what i'm saying okay you heard me you heard me okay let's see it how many you go ready i like it i'll keep track of the time code and you keep track of your heard me got you ready yep all right check man fuck this violent cuz fuck now i won't give a nigga no fucking job you hear me look at a nigga they like fuck you a hoodlum you hear me so fuck if you don't want to get to me you hear

me and i'm trying to do the right thing you hear me fuck well fucking look i gotta go take it you hear me fuck it you hear me what about what wow that's good hold on one two oh that popped you're so horrendous i'm pregnant i got carte blanche god six six you heard me that was in 14 seconds oh god that was in 14 seconds the problem with these pregnant fires is that they just linger can we can we move past that fart god it won't go away they just said this off the fire they just cling to me god damn this is what your first smell like this is what your first smell like can we go back to how important press six and i keep telling you in 14 seconds are you not impressed it's amazing let's see let's see if you guys more about the police force

fuck the police you hear me fuck no pd you hear me because it's like this here you hear me they don't help a nigga for nothing you hear me they just want to see a nigga locked up behind the fucking bars you hear me what the fuck we gonna do you hear me we get out of jail you hear me then they don't want to hire us because i was fucking back wrong fuck the background you hear me so what how many more how's good hold on one eight eight in that sequence yeah so we're up to 14 14 and we have only hit about 30 not even 30 seconds wow that's a really good average that's phenomenal wow that right now would be yeah i mean that that would that would be in the running man that's

the ultimate yeah because it's 25 30 out of 45 that's not even 40 seconds but we didn't factor out the time when the guy was asking the question shit you gotta you gotta take that out so maybe take it down to 13 and you know maybe we're doing ah maybe he's up to like he says it after every sense yeah yeah it's pretty good that's pretty well who do you think is the yonam saying champion well there's there's too many to really to talk about that i mean there's there's so many great ones it's like saying you know who's the best i don't know you you start asking who's the best basketball player of all time and people from different eras start saying different people you know yeah oscar robertson and i my favorite is still

jordan documentary yeah no that one's phenomenal but i i'm going for volume yeah no i hear it like the volume is what's do you remember the uh the guy was his name black rob or something yes he had really impressive you know i'm saying i don't know where that is though right now that one was like a long time ago it was a long time ago and but he he was exactly what we wanted he was he was in that world quality and quantity if you know what i'm saying yeah but yeah it didn't get away you know i'm saying they made a uh i'm a player at the end it was a questionable travel call you know i'm saying it didn't go our way and they made a decent play you know i'm saying i had a good look i'm c had a better look you know i'm saying so it was just i'm saying they made

a they made one more plays and we did man it wasn't no one like the game got out of control i'm saying they came out with a lot of energy which we knew they was gonna do i'm saying we fall back we took the league you know i'm saying but they you know it's awesome you know i'm saying that's pretty good really good this is the rob guy that's out the home or niche you know i'm saying it's big stuff hell yeah you know i'm saying mutual homie good motherfucker right there you know i'm saying so you know i'm saying he's not gonna fuck with the real you know i'm saying so we'll recognize real game recognize game you know i'm saying ain't no bosses in those fakes over here you know i'm saying it's all real dealing you know i'm saying all this you were talking about

you take it for it's worth you know i'm saying truth isn't that motherfucker you know i'm saying that's real shit you know i'm saying it's skinhead rob my father's gonna work down i mean that's how many was that that was 12 in um 30 seconds wow yeah 12 and 30 yeah that's that's skinhead rob i said black rob oh right okay skinhead rob it's quite different than black rob yeah wow well two very powerful entries yeah i mean and i feel like we are just getting into uh this other guy right now i don't know what you're saying i don't know what you mean i feel you know i mean that you heard me guy yeah like he keeps getting asked questions i don't know how long he goes you heard me yeah i mean he goes he goes on a tear this is this is exactly the kind

of shit that we're talking about yeah check it out you know i'm saying this is a fear you know i'm saying you know i'm saying yeah you know i'm saying check this out though i'm throwing a motherfucker shout out to my man boss man you know i'm shivering baby that's a fear yeah he says you know i'm saying like four times without saying play that again can you play that again yeah i feel like i missed it like it's amazing yeah check it out you know i'm saying this is a fear you know i'm saying you know i'm saying you know i'm saying check this out though i'm throwing a motherfucker yeah that was awesome so this is he just straight up repeated you know i'm saying you know i'm saying because you know i'm saying yeah which is that's a fucking whole other category of doing

well i mean that's why i'm so fond of the shook knight documentary one because yeah he says nothing and then he goes you know i'm saying yeah and that's really special when you can say nothing and then follow with you know i'm saying especially because there are other there are people that heard him say that and they're like i do know what you're saying you know you know i'm saying like they they hear that and they're like absolutely i know what you're saying when you didn't say anything yeah you know i'm saying i never had a job before in my life until i start working for sale you know in and out of jail you know i'm saying did a little bit everything you know i'm saying now i'm you know i'm saying it's the best one yeah now i'm you know i'm saying

here's uh let's see if we get any more your herbies out of this guy sure this is crazy you do that man how do you survive fuck man i survive fuck i get it i live yeah i take what i want yeah but leave that job and where do you where do you go to take what you want fuck i go anywhere fuck this is going on at at any time fuck this is going on right now i want fuck you might go out and want something i want it's about me right now shit and by the police you ever hold about holding a cook i will five times lose i will hold a cook right then and now if a police vote on me and i'm hot it's me or him i'm holding a cook right here i'm what you mean by that is you shoot shoot out you shoot it out shoot it out he killed me i killed him for all right

we're a whole court we're taking a trial that's new orleans by the way that do not want to get lost in this fucking neighborhood that's crazy as shit this dude's doing the interview swinging his gun around this guy's doing the best job acting like he's not shitting his pants i know i was just thinking that they just were like you might have something i want terrifying to go down right now terrifying like guys you said you'd do the interview i would rather get creampied for 60 dollars oh my god didn't do that interview fuck man no cream creampied i'd watch your scene i'll be honest as upset as i'd be that you did it i'd be like i'm gonna watch it see if i can get off did you just say that really yeah you would watch my scene what about while i'm pregnant with your

child yeah if you're gonna do a pregnancy porn scene i've seen yeah those are pretty good and as they're pregnant i'm swimming pregnant creampies because there's no oh yeah they're they that's that's what it's already been done they don't even have to give you extra on that because they're like what's the deal slut yeah fucking slut clearly you're into that take it stupid you know you heard me you like that kind of thing you know you like it okay i love it stupid sometimes you ever just forget that a movie came out it's amazing to me you're like not even like i forget that movie came out it's like it came out you're like i don't even know what that i don't recognize that come out yeah we sat home one of your farts that just sneak out

this thing's out we watched um i don't even know terminator or something it was like terminator destiny destiny's child terminator or something yeah it's um denominations denominations it was like it was like termination destination terminators destination something retarded like the end of all the terminates this is christian bale who i love yeah so this was you know this was a huge terminator salvation salvation say yeah and the only thing i remember when i'm like when we saw this on the the the what is it called on demand menu the only the only reason i this sounded familiar was because of his rant because what happened was he lost his mind yeah while they were shooting that came out that leaked then the

movie came out i don't know why it's one of those things that like i don't know if it was a was that movie a hit or not i could probably look it up yeah look it up terminator i liked yeah i'll all i like all those terminator movies are fun so let's see he's they had arnie do a little minute it's also considered t4 budget was 200 million jeez box office was 371 so it made money but it wasn't like a global smash you know but i feel like i missed all the advertising for it i don't know how but yeah i just feel like you know i don't know man it just kind of came and went yeah so it's funny i i looked it up and it's like hey you want to watch this one of this come out come out in oh nine this was already like six years old oh shit i thought it was recent

i didn't know that now here's what happened during filming bail became angry with the director photography or dp i get it shane herbal herlbutt for walking onto a set during a scene he swore and screamed at herlbutt and threatened to leave the film audio of his tirade leaked to the public and went viral uh bail apologized publicly said he resolved his differences with the guy explaining he sometimes has a problem with someone walking on set and that when the incident took place they continued to work together for a number of hours that day um in march of that year a producer fought a loss lost against halcyon company i don't know this is another controversy of that okay so this has nothing to do with the thing but anyways the audio became pretty well known and um

man it's it's pretty he's really fucking fired up you know if you've never heard it this is christian bail on the set of terminator that's so great kick your fucking ass i want you off the fucking set you prick sorry now don't just be sorry think for one fucking second the the fuck are you doing are you professional or not yes i am do i fucking walk around and rip that no shut the fuck up bruce do i want no no don't shut me up am i gonna walk around and rip your fucking lights down in the middle of a scene then why the fuck are you walking right through uh that i that i like this in the background what the fuck is it with you what don't you fucking understand i'm eating popcorn as we listen to this you got any fucking idea about hey he says i dear yeah i guess his accent

because he's welsh isn't he i don't know he's some he's some not american he's not he don't talk like we talk yeah you have any idea have any idea he's fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind brice in the middle of the fucking scene yeah give me a fucking answer what don't you get about it oh my god it's so painful oh good for you and how was it i hope it was fucking good because it's useless now isn't it fuck shake man your amateur that's a that's a pretty big tamper i'm not even playing the whole thing that's that's a fraction of it i like how he goes good for you yeah good for you that fucking matter now so we all have bad days right yeah i don't think i've ever flipped out on someone that harsh but i can see how stuff gets super annoying like imagine

you're trying to play this character and it's an intense character like he's doing an action movie and it could be a very intense scene where you're already hyped up yeah like he's already probably fired up and then some guy walks on walks through a scene and he's trying to be like serious it doesn't justify i think screaming like that to somebody but i get what he might be annoyed the funny the funniest thing is people um talking about we are outnumbered machines people that were in the movie talking about christian and the rant the ass kissing so funny it's horrifying the humans have a strength that cannot be measured you know

let's see so you are the resistance it's a good movie you know what there's really nothing i can say about that that i haven't said already and uh you know i i i i i have never tried to make any excuses for it it was unacceptable and i i take it uh you know it's my fault that's it great way to it is a great way to deal with it hey i fucked up i'm an idiot sorry that's how you handle that that's how you that's how you get yeah get ahead of it absolutely here's his other cast waves terrible for all of us that um that tape was released because is it for you that you it's a creative experience and oh you need a certain amount of protection and safety because uh when you're filming a really intense scene i mean it and the weather is crazy and your weather

having slept in 48 hours i mean like people are raw and um and i think christian dealt with it and it was such integrity as a person he's a consummate professional oh dedicated to his craft doesn't give a about the girls and whistles of being you know famous and all that bulldust and so to work with us you know elevate your game um as a person he's you know he's just the the supreme professional that's what it comes in does his job goes on to his kids why are you kissing his ass who cares what happened with that with the tape is just expression of a human being that may express themselves and he's being misinterpreted misinterpreted i was really it really broke my heart to see what was happening because he was nothing but courteous i think he

has a lot of maybe the guy that he yelled at has a different fun yeah listen to me that guy i love how they all have to be like very polite to me and funny oh he's so polite he didn't do that shit to me that's what he's the best it really affected me and i thought so misunderstood oh so misunderstood and i think it happened when he become a big celebrity i know he's yeah tom tom do you ever refer to what you do is your craft 100 percent why is acting the only thing besides carpentry referred to as a craft i don't know it's my my craft get the fuck out here you're my craft so pretentious he's a good fucking actor though he's amazing and dude he handled it the best he was like yeah i fucked up sorry that's a crazy explosion though it was great yeah so

imagine if i if like an extra did that yeah never i would never be great if somebody who had like five lines tried that rant and they're like the fuck are you doing yeah did you ever hear the lily tomlin one where she was doing i heart yeah that director is famous for being an asshole she freaked out he's famous for that you know that yeah yeah that guy's known to be like a real what is it's i heart huckabee's lily tomlin yeah yeah look it up that one's one of my favorite ones but i've heard stories about her too being a little a little unhinged david o russell oh okay yeah he's known to i believe if you go if you look at um let me look at this real quick how's that work i'm gonna look this up because david o russell you know christian is just

such an amazing craftsman and yes three kings such a giver you see three you ever seen three kings no three kings came out in ninety nine and it starred george cloney ice cube and spike jones and george cloney uh apparently grabbed this guy by the throat when he was directing that for the way that he was treating somebody else on set oh wow yeah so this guy is he's known for we're being a douche yeah well who is the actress again you said to look up look up lily tomlin i heart huckabee's yeah you know uh podcasting with tom segura it's just a treasure i i've learned so much from his craft from his farts and leave me the fuck alone do you know what the fuck is going on period fuck you period fuck you i've had it up to here

sir who's reacting to what for god's sakes fuck you motherfucker that was the camera fuck you fuck you fuck you get the fucking thing together fuck you oh yeah bullshit mark walberg's in the back seat that's why we spent five and five or six fucking hours doing something else no god damn it you fucked it up god damn you now get straight out and help if you can't if you can't help them help me

that's right fuck you too no i'm not i'm not i'm sorry you don't get i'm gonna i'll break the fucking set apart i don't even give a fuck that don't matter because you're there oh shut up shut up you shut the fuck up that's dustin hoffman but you're still there shoot the fucking thing right now yeah oh yeah you'll get you'll get all this you'll i'll be angry as she's angry that'll be good this is great that's not i'm telling her to use it use it for the craft i don't care i know you don't just shoot the fucking thing just just turn the thing on just turn it on who knows who knows what's up i don't have a fucking idea

why is it so fun to watch that it's so fun to watch people lose their shoes because it's so it's so inappropriate you're never supposed to inappropriate thing yeah she's great there's a series on netflix that she does with jane fonda i watched every episode it's fantastic yeah it's like frankie and johnny or some oh yeah you said that was really good i loved i just love lily's i've loved her forever she's fantastic i could watch her cuss out that guy for hours too yeah okay fuck you fuck you fuck you in conversation just michael kane and i think he did it for 10 minutes i could but i did it for 12 months so i've beaten him i understand absolutely what happened and i would understand me doing it but i didn't understand him doing it i didn't think

he was what the fuck is he talking about of that he's michael kane talking about the christian bail rant oh why is he talking about because they did batman together remember he was oh he was a little such a nice gentle soul i mean i'm rough and i i can do the language he's such a craft yeah hilarious michael kane is a professional i like michael kane a lot too i love michael kane whatever to me there's eight different things going on here i don't know what's going on frankly we're encouraged to do one thing and then it's and i don't even have the slightest idea that's great yeah that's good i like it a lot good for you um what jeans before we go i was thinking you know 300 episodes pretty crazy jeans i can't believe it you think about that we made it

300 we've been through so many office locations we started off in our silver lake home we started off in our spare bedroom that was attached to our neighbors that we shared a wall with our neighbor and she would cook disgusting ethiopian food and it would waft through the vents as we recorded our shows remember that time and then we moved to where we live now in our south or so yeah and now we're in a real location we're we've really evolved it's pretty amazing it's pretty amazing right pretty amazing who knew who knew that this little show would grow into something and today so cool today i kind of feel like ooh today i'm all kinds of tony you really i mean i feel like you know 300 something to celebrate

i feel like a star today do you feel like your hair is on fleek your brows are on fleek it's all fucking perfect right now okay yeah she ready she ready to get her grammy on i got my my stylist is coming over okay my wardrobe girl is coming here wait what are you gonna sing tonight at the performance you know i'm just gonna give him a little bit a little this little that i mean i'm gonna play the hits but i got some new shit i'm working on too i'll break my farts tell me again you know how i feel like i feel like missy ooh really the mother of the ship the mother of all the braxton's is kind of where i'm at today why do you feel like that just like i'm in charge you know what i'm saying like 300 episodes i feel

like i'm the grandmother of it all that's pretty badass yeah jeans uh before i forget i almost forgot remind everyone to watch how to be a grown-up on true tv yes every tuesday ten eastern nine central that's how to be a grown-up season two for the jeans machine and i are together on that show tv and new merch alert we have the high and tight shirt is finally available for sale we'll have a link for it uh your mom's house podcast dot com um being sold by our good friends at a stoy merchandise it has a few different colors men's cut and women's cut um that is high and tight and it's it's pretty badass shirt it's really cute colors i like the colors there's a blue one there's a green one they're pretty cool so you don't see those colors enough and they're so cute

scoop that up man towels could have aids towels could have aids what's been your favorite moment on ymh i don't know and i was thinking in the last i was looking at the the drop board because as the shows progress we add pages to it so i'm you know i'm looking in the last 100 episodes there's you know pop only that's a good one mama i love you yeah they're all here feel squad baby for life feel squad baby there's so many different ones suck that ass suck that ass suck that ass suck that ass you know there's just so many good ones don't be peter gazing right cops are all bald in the shit they're all fucking bald in the shit fucking cops are fucking bald i'll never get tired cops are all

bald in the shit it's classics peter kane there's so many who's out here oh yeah what and the fuck are we doing here love that these are all drops that have come in the last 100 you know harry potter trying to cut you're gonna cut now you've always been a cunt and the only thing that's going to change is you're going to become an even bigger cunt they keep telling my uncle i like that i really like that it's cool stuff slick stuff neat stuff they let the conversation begin so creepy so many good ones right vegan vagina that don't trust friends they're the worst don't trust friends they're the worst they're the worst oh peter kane oh man i would say i love peter kane i love finding his videos that was fun that was fun i love uh fuck me and my

ass man i think that is one of that's that's going back though i think that's uh that's i came up that's a different one really fuck me my ass is older than 100 episodes i think so i mean it would be in a different place ghost wait homeless man gets raped by gay ghost that's the name of that on youtube i'll remember this right here i love that one the yoga class right yeah yeah um i love i still love her suit per suit that was a very early episode that's the racist neighbor yeah um let's see i'm where the dude's at is still one of my favorite oh yeah you're going you're going old school though on these yeah yeah yeah that's a good one oh this this was great remember this this was recent and if you're drinking starbucks yeah watch out if you're a woman

you might just get pregnant okay by drinking starbucks that's how i got because i've got some pretty potent cement in that drink that's how i got pregnant yeah and you can you know how this potent oh my god how are we not even potent in the last 100 yeah how are we not addressing this this was this was definitely the craziest controversy i know of our last 100 oh my god peter ur excuse me shane lee shane lee for you i'm i'm just practicing here i'm not trying to replace mariah that's my favorite yeah sentence that somebody can say the chirping the chirp of the thing the chirp of his battery running out of juice and i'm not trying to replace mariah we all were worried about that thank you here to do it um i don't want to freak her out too badly

we went crazy one episode and i'll take the blame and played a lot of shane lee because i was just we were moved by the moment mesmerized by this guy um you know he was something we've never never no i know i sort of had some no i know i know where you're gonna go where is it to florida i know it perfectly it's pretty crazy i thought your people don't play it too long i know i thought when right now don't forget what you were about to say i know i wrote it down but my prediction was that it was gloria no oh but that was a highlight oh man that was crazy we had gloria as stefan on the show

that was melissa that's melissa right there and you're doing the voice how amazing i've completely that one i just forgot oh and wait a minute is what i keep look i'm guessing here could you mind if i guess again go ahead yeah wipe gate oh wipe wipe gate i didn't even think about what wipe gate was crazy i didn't even think about that was the fucking most amazing wipe gate i i forgot about wipe gate wipe gate where was that took over like maybe five or six episodes that was ongoing you know you know yeah between skippy peanut butter and jiff peanut butter which do you like you can reach and reach skippy and jiff oh jiff what is the name of the peanut butter i like

come the brand of the peanut butter i like jiff jiff okay and then between the shaky parmesan cheese the craft one or the fresh shaped parmesan which do you like okay and then what tell me what you think of this because i've had this conversation with christina so when christina goes to the bathroom like goes kaka okay no no no i need i need your i need you to weigh in on this so she goes she goes kaka and then she goes she gets up from the toilet and she takes a shower immediately without wiping even once i swear to god i swear to god i'm not discussing too much here can you please tell me why why you think so because it is the only thing you can do i have to say the one in the shower is by

picking their hands and letting them shower well she says okay she says i have to call you back wait wait she says that the shower the shower pressure cleans it for her but you think you think it's disgusting i don't see the difference between doing what she does and just going kaka in the shower i'm not saying to do that i'm saying i barely see the difference because she goes kaka and then she just gets up she doesn't wipe one time and stands in the shower so there's gotta be kaka in the shower so i'm saying if you're gonna do that you might as well shit in the shower okay i can i go back i'm from can you just tell me what you think well i love how you're insisting on getting an answer from her yeah that's yeah because that's

how we got the craziest you know you're like the reporter that annoys people yeah she's trying to get off the phone and you're like ma'am ma'am i have to know your input just a little update for you guys on wipegate i still go shit to shower she's just christ but they're not running because lately i've had really nice firm stool i haven't had that's your job that's your job sweetie i've had a really nice bowel movement so yeah that was crazy i forgot about that it was wipegate it was the skippy jib skippy where's the jib listen yeah get on mom's choose jib okay branch it mom which are you piece of shit like skippy who likes jib uh traders traders well i was gonna bring up my favorite clip yeah

which i think was the one that it just caught like wildfire yeah and i i think it's it started a phenomenon what is it i'm so i'm why can't i just start for you nope showing you things you like try to get engagement oh my god photos from my life of course my kids my god some bacon is that in the last 100 i don't know but i know that we had why are you going before the last 100 we because i don't know numbers i know but how old are you going is that we would do the show live and you would hit play on that song and the just you know three or four hundred people would remember in toronto when we did that it was nuts yeah you had a theater full of people singing let's get social that was the

fucking most fun thing ever that was that was a blast so retired it was ridiculous i'm willing to wager that that was definitely not in the last 100 showing you things you like but that was an amazing amazing thing yeah let's get we're going we're going everywhere his paper is stuck in my oh no it's a good one classic classic um that's the best he tags it social media yes here it is guys yeah it's pretty crazy all right i'm feeling it showing you things you like

try to get engagement listen photos from my life my cat my kids some bacon i'm hoping you'll share my stuff and sweet it to the world if you help me grow my clouds i promise that i'll share yours so connect with me let's have some fun show the world out this is good let's get social social social social social media i love it what's with the jeans oh jero can asking what's with the jeans was one of my favorite moments that was great that was super fun but i think one of the all-time mommy moments on the show vocal fry has to be has to be and has become kind of the unofficial mascot of our new

office he's hanging right there vinyl uh mint print oh yeah well you're now you're talking yeah we're definitely going we're going we're going over the course of the show is what you're talking yeah i mean you decided to shit on my idea of the last one i just i don't know numbers boo boo i can't i can't remember i'm that's not in front of me i understand they're not in front of me either i'm just going off of my memory i don't have that i don't have that i don't have memory yeah that that that that seems on the live shows too especially in the live shows to give people great great joy um and that is of course our adorable tiny cuter than pie black jesus this webster singing in japanese and in english

he's so adorable god that's fucking cute city connection was a great song it's great we've got so many great songs too over the course of not just the last 100 but over the 300 so many songs great great participants people contributing their you know matthew miller ghost crew max newman max newman obi one can only we can only all be one can only the thio song j double the very first song j double um is this can only the peter stain song i'm peter kane the biggest pussy might be i'm peter stain i also make some art dead baby elephant i can say whatever i fucking want i'm peter stain the biggest pussy i love the ohog store i'm peter stain i also make some art dead baby elephant i can say whatever i

fucking want i'm peter stain the biggest pussy i love the ohog store i shit on myself it's disgusting it's gross i don't want to wear diapers my brown say hello i'm sad my fucking head can't control my aggression i ripped a woman's arm off refers to me as eccentric you don't like art man what a dick what the fuck doesn't matter with you dude like i give a fucking shit i love being a racist fucking redneck intellectuals get the fuck out of here i don't really care what your opinion is christina said mean stuff like really mean stuff i'm getting all emotional man what the fuck oh my god jesus christ sorry okay fuck no oh what emotions that's crazy um but before you go any i mean i think the craziest

song we ever got yeah was theos jam right where he pieced together everything theo had set on the show oh you're right yeah those obi one cannoli that was obi one is that um was that called theos jam though shit i'm not sure theos jam was the one the ghost crew one made okay so it's uh theo 247 oh that sound of the 10 10 times town with the s on the end from the hunter's block fuck man now that was an amazing when we got that song i think our fucking brains exploded at the amount of well the amount of work that that took for sure man that was um i got now you're making me pull this up please please it's worth it it's such a great song and um the guy sifted through hours of theos talking and then not just piece them together but then had to had to

he created a hook he created verses and that rhymed it was it was amazing it was such an amazing feat yeah like he he took recorded audio and made sure that um that the the lyrics were that everything just rhymed which is just fucking crazy yeah i don't i don't even understand how he did this i mean just it just seems like so much work i mean first of all all the songs i'm sure that people submit yeah for these guys all took hours to do so thank you guys for all your stations this one he said it took at least 20 hours this would take me about six years together you know i mean because he took a voice that i did on the show i'm sorry no theos voice oh right i thought there was a one where i was talking no theo when theo was talking he rarely talks and he did

when theo appeared on the show and took that voice not just piece and the other piece make sure it made it sound like it's rhyming it's it's crazy um all right so that's his episode 300 thank you guys you inspire us you entertain us and you um you make us laugh and you make us you make us think and we just have so much fun doing the show so thanks for for being listeners of the show and without our jeans we wouldn't be moms without without you guys we are no jeans so we would have a low low stupid loose hanging jeans two mommies one jeans but many mommies make up the jeans as true um you know the sites come visit us your mom's house podcast.com tomcigura.com thousand ranch.com at christina p on twitter at tomcigura on twitter i want instagram at christina

p a z you're always welcome to send a message and of course a song to your mom's podcast at gmail.com there's no house in the email address your mom's podcast yeah all right we're gonna go out on theo oh good i haven't heard it in so long yeah um lots of love bye guys well rocker jane i don't play around these parts you know what i'm saying who's running shit south of the town 10 times came away with your ass on the end from the hundreds black people well rocker jane i don't play around these parts you know what i'm saying i'm a wild animal stab you in your sleep get your ass out my face respect my privacy i don't feel nothing i get what i need i'm a wheeler i'm a dealer sci-fi gas from your jeep i've been outside

you ain't shit i piss of shit where i want you better not forget i kind of damn you all lazy i never stop hustling give me something to get so they gotta pay up you forget kid now if you're under my care better show mother fuckers respect uh yeah of course not a little new corvette that's what i do that's what i'm doing do it oh shit you cannot disrespect me can i i want this mother black pineapple is it beautiful he's the one she's out of the time ten times came away with your ass on them from the hundreds black people well rocker jane i don't play around these parts you know what i'm saying he's running shit south of the town ten times came over with your ass on them from the hundreds black people well rocker jane i don't play around these parts you know what i'm saying

you act like i didn't live outside for three years i live outside cause stepping up the game yo when the fuck are we going back to the dog park i have people shawarua doofy gert labrador's i'm the all god damn day