Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 302-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 22, 2015

Does it turn you on when you think of your spouse being filled with the love mustard of another man? We have the place for you. Our new poly, bi lifestyle isn't just for us. We want to share it with you and fluid bond with you.  SURPRISE - we have an improptu Top Dog call and it does NOT disappoint! Tommy's workout crushed him and he's seeking motivation. Plus we explore what is Amaze and that is the wonder of Dennis Rodman in a new documentary that chronicles his trip to North Korea.  KISS IT!!

This is the kind of stuff I can do with my turntables when I get them. Hopefully by this time we'll have a bunch of, we're recording this because we're going to Montreal, but hopefully we'll have a bunch of submissions for DJ names for me and I'm expecting some pretty good Photoshop work too. Well, I hope you start, because then you can do all of our intro music, all of our music. Well, plus I'll be gigging more. Well, you'll be gigging night and day. You have to start a whole new career.

Actually, what I'll probably do, I'll start packaging my shows so that I do stand-up and then stay for the after party that I'm going to gig at. They're going to love that. People love it. Hands in the air kind of stuff. I like this kind of thing that way. Like Paul Oakenfold. It's like the one DJ I know.

Yeah, so we just said it and we mean it. Jeans and I are going to be. And we mean it. And we mean it. We're going to be in Montreal, Canada. We're here all week. We've been here. We haven't been here already.

Doing shows, stand-up and podcast. And it looks like, let's see, tonight, I got a show at Catacombs at 10.30 p.m. If you want to come check that out. Tomorrow, Thursday, we are doing the podcast live at the Hyatt Regency, Montreal. So please come see the podcast live if you're in the area. It's in the afternoon. 2 p.m. 2 p.m.

Yeah. And then I have two more nights at the Catacombs. And there's also, we'll be tweeting out and you've got to look at the festival boards to see other shows that we're going to pop up on. Yeah, because they kind of throw you around a lot, like they plug you into different shows last minute and stuff too. But you're going to be on a couple of the shows that I'm doing. That's right.

I'm going to open for you. Yeah. You're going to do what? Tonight? Are you doing tonight? No. You're doing, yeah, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I think you said. Okay.

So that's tonight. Tomorrow. But then, you know, don't, the three doesn't count for, you got to do, you know, an intro to the show at the end, at the beginning and then intro to me. So basically two and a half. Two and a half minutes of my best material. Yeah. You got to crush it.

Bring your... Just do it tight, too. Hey, check it out. Next week, Portland, Oregon, Helium, I'm there the 30th, 31st and the first. And one week later, I go up to shoot my special in Seattle. And on the way, I hit Cobbs on the fourth. I hit Sacramento on the fifth. Two shows at the Neptune in Seattle.

Please get tickets. And the next day, Vancouver, British Columbia at the Biltmore, Cabaret, later in the month, Columbus, Dayton and Lexington, Jeans, anything else you want to add? No. No? I think you're good. Listen to my other podcast, That's Deep Bro, if you're interested in topics such as success. Tom Segour and I just did episode 35 together.

That was a really fun episode to do. Yeah. We talked about failure and success. We talked about all kinds of deep stuff on that show. And that's really it. I mean, I do local stuff, Comedy Store, I'm usually there on the weekends in LA. Speaking by the way of other podcasts, I did appear on AJ Hawks podcast, The Hawks Cast. AJ, of course, is a linebacker for the Cincinnati Bengals.

Oh my God. And you can find that hot cast anywhere you listen to podcasts. And there's also a video of it on YouTube. So check that out. And thanks, AJ, for having me on. It was a lot of fun. Ready to do this? Oh.

It's going to be a fun one. It was born. Here we go. Here you go. Here you go. Thanks to the idea of a hot, sexy man ejaculating my wife. It strangely turns me on. This shit is big time!

Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn me in the fucking stand! Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura, Tom Sutsu, and... Christina Pajitzic, Christina Pajitzic. Welcome to your mom's house.

Microphone. Wow. Wow! People complain sometimes about the pre-roll taking too long, you know, that we're like, Oh, it's so long. So many commercials. God, I'm trying to listen to a giant number of commercials on.

Yeah. Man. This time we got through the whole pre-roll in under 10 minutes. Yeah, you know. I mean, I'm trying to listen to a show. There's all these commercials at the front. Guys, there's always commercials. It's a free show.

What do you expect? Yeah. It's free 99. Then there was a fucking two-hour show after it that didn't have it, but still mad. Ugh. Tweets from those fucking... Grumpy.

Yeah, it's like... Unhappy people. You can't, you know... Yeah, you know... Deal with it. You fucking complain about it. Seriously. Seriously.

Seriously. Seriously. There's ads on everything. Even the cable TV we pay for, they have ads on it, right? Of course, man. That's the worst. And that one kills me when I'm paying for the damn thing and then I still gotta hear fucking commercials.

I mean, it's like... Like serious, you have to hear fucking commercials. I feel like everybody that complains about that needs a talking to. Yeah. They need someone to just tell them... I do a lot of fucking famous beauty, don't I? Yeah, we do.

Okay? You need to get your life. How long are we pulling clips today here before the show? Fucking... It takes hours to put this show together, guys. Hours. That's what you don't see. God.

You know, most of the podcasts you listen to is Jackoffs. There's just two people with a mic. They talk. Yeah, Jack and their dicks into the mic. There's no production value. Look at what we do. Mm-hmm. And all this shit, you think this fucking just comes together?

You think any other show can just press a button and have... No. That's us taking time to make that accessible. Yeah, we sit here and we come up with ideas for you and what we're gonna talk about and pulling clips, going through emails. It takes a long time, man. God damn it.

It takes a lot of work. It took a few hours today. You know, when you're Puerto Rican, you're just Puerto Rican. Yeah, that's just right there for me whenever I need it, because I spent time doing that. That's what's up. Yeah. I love that opening clip so much.

It's just my absolute favorite. You know, we watched the show on polyamory about what is it, two and a half weeks ago now? Yeah, we first saw... The season two started, right? Because we saw season one a while ago, but then... It's on show. We caught season two, episode one,

and it really reminded us how great of a show it is. Just when we forgot about polyamory, it is back, and it's even better because now they've wised up. You know, they have dirty hippies on there with names like Sage and Tall. And names are crazy. And the people that... Tall and... Tall, T-A-L, tall.

Isn't it T-A-H-L? I don't know. The names of people they're sleeping with. It's like, you know, are you... You're sleeping with Aquarius now? Yeah. That weird fucking... Moon dust.

Yeah. And they're all just so gross. But then what they did this season is they wised up and they brought in some stud with his two hot mommies. Oh, yeah. That guy's... The whole cast is ridiculous. They're retarded, yeah.

And the guy has serious vocal fraud. Let's do this right. It's actually... I guess you could call the show a reality show. Yeah. Because it's not a scripted show. So it's always bringing great joy when we can get into a show with this. Oh, yeah.

We'll talk. Oh, yeah. We'll talk. Oh, yeah. We'll talk. Oh, yeah. I miss real talk. I think Ryan Match made that the match.

Yeah. That was one of our first... That's one of the first ones, yeah. So we could talk about reality shows. So Polly, Polly Amherst people for those that don't know... It's a lifestyle, Polly lifestyle, guys. It's the opposite of monogamous. It's the idea that one can love fully and completely, not just sleep with, but love many people.

Yeah. It's a beautiful, it's a beautiful idea. But the thing is, and I'm not opposed to this lifestyle, I mean, for me, no, personally. But the thing is, apparently, to be Polly, you have to be a complete and total asshole. You have to be so fucking ridiculous. They're ridiculous. All of them are ridiculous. It's embarrassing.

Like, I'm sure there are Polly people out there listening, even, who are normal and who don't have things called pods. They live in the pod. They have to have coffee with to discuss who they're fucking every week. The weekly pod meeting. We're going to get to it. Oh, it's so good. So the new guy, he actually, he's well, he must be well.

He owns and trains at Legends. It's a well-known MMA and boxing gym in L.A. Oh, okay. That's who that guy is, and he talks like Kim Kardashian. Yeah. Here he is. Megan and I have been together for nearly three years. She's a beautiful girl who I'm very much in love with, and I have a lot in common with.

I can't wait to get home and jump in the pool. Are you serious? Wow. He talks like a teenage girl. Is that for real? He talks like a teenage girl. I mean, he's got some segaul crack going on. And then I started from him for many years, and then finally...

Finally? Oh. Found someone who could teach me. I mean, this guy's voice is, the show's not about his voice, but it should be. Okay, this whole show should be about... Megan and I have been together for nearly three years. She's a beautiful girl who I'm very much in love with, and I have a lot in common with. Before you make fun of this guy for being...

You're like, what a fucking pussy. This guy could beat the shit out of everybody that listens to this show. He's won Muay Thai competitions in Thailand. He's a savage. He trains killers, and he has competed in highest level Muay Thai competition. Megan and I have been together for nearly three years. That's ridiculous. Can I tell you what that is?

That's LA guy. That's a guy that's from LA, huh? It is. There's a certain... Do you see that? Do you hear that thing about Michael Douglas said this week, actually? No. At this point, when this comes out, it'll be a few weeks earlier.

But this week, he came out and said, we're American actors. We're losing... Like, leading men are losing out on roles to Australians. And maybe he said Brits. I know he said Australians. Some other... One other country to their actors because we are basically a nation of pussies. He's like, we only have...

That's fantastic. He said we have too many Metro guys, and our leading actors are just all... He's like, there's Channing Tatum and Chris Pratt, and he's like, and that's about it. And then all the other good roles that demand a leading man are going to these other... These lady guys. Well, because that's what I was going to say, because LA tends to turn out dudes like this. A lot of dudes I grew up with here, they're like that. Like, they're these meta-sexuals.

He's right. Yeah, I think he's saying... He said there's a crisis. There's a crisis, and the crisis is that... The Aussie stars are masculine compared to our U.S. asexual actors. Here, he says that our actors are basically on a par to Brits and Australians because our actors are too vain and asexual. I agree.

Or at least like Midwesterny. I think we like a little ruggedness. Why not Midwestern men or the East Coast? It's just the LA guy who talks like... Here, he further goes on. He said, with the Aussies, especially the males, it's the masculinity. In the U.S., we have this relatively asexual or unisex area with sensitive young men, and we don't have many Channing Tatums or Chris Pats while the Aussies do.

There's a crisis in young American actors right now. Everyone is much more image-conscious than they are about actually playing the part. Sure, I can see that. Yeah, I can see that too. I can see that. He's not ridiculous for saying that. I'm sure they're making him out to be, but I don't think it's that good. Well, yeah.

Especially when you start breaking down these actors that he's talking about. Like Sam Worthington and who, of course, our buddy, Hugh Jackman, our good friend. Love Hugh Jackman. Yeah, he's a rugged, kind of normal dude. Chris Hemsworth. Let's see. Yeah, there's all kinds of guys. We love Christian Bale, and he's not American.

Sure isn't. I like him weird. You know, I love like a Steve Buscemi. I love the face on that guy. I love Benicio Del Toro. I like these guys that don't look. I like their faces to be interesting, but everybody looks the fucking same now. The big, the big role of, you know.

Hunk. That's not going to go to Steve Buscemi. What about Steve Buscemi? Can we hear that Steve again where he's like, he kind of picked up an Asian accent there a little bit too. What are you doing? Yeah. How do you say? I had to call.

And then I started from him for many years, and then finally found someone who could teach me Aikido. It was very interesting. He talks like he's speaking like Asian. What kind of Asian is this? The last time I asked the CIA to provide me with people and answers, they gave me people and answers that answered my questions the way they wanted it to be answered, meaning the CIA.

I understand. I got it. He's very important. This is actually my favorite one from that was the how I got started. Well, actually, I started studying karate at a very young age. I sort of lied about my age and got a job watching dishes that I had. All those guys that love having kind of the myth behind their persona. Yeah, legends.

Yeah. They love to like, I lied about, I lied, but it was to like to do work. Yeah. I lied to get in the army to fight in the war. I lied. He's like, I lied to get a job. Karate. Karate.

And guang fu. And guang guang. Restaurant. I think it was called the wagon wheel or something like that. And there was a cook there. It was back then. I can't do this. I can't do this.

I can't do this. I can't do this. It's ridiculous. Stupid fucking story. And just shut the fuck up. That's what everyone wants to tell you, Steven. You had a bit of foreign accent syndrome there. Have another actually heard in my own voice.

Yeah. So I think you're right though. That is kind of LA guys for this guy. He's every guy I've grown up with here in LA. They kind of tend to be a little more like Metro and a lot of that vocal fry and a lot of up talk, a lot of Kardashian things. So he's with Megan, who's his girlfriend. Megan.

And then they go home and they play with the wife. They didn't have. Oh, that's the wrong thing. She's a beautiful girl who I'm very much in love with and I have a lot in common with. I can't wait to get home and jump in the pool. In the pool. Go in the pool. And then this woman you're going to hear right now is the wife.

But you know what's interesting. The wife. Huh. You'll be really surprised. Sometimes she feels like, I don't know, like she's a little left out. No. From the husband and the girlfriend. No.

Because listen to what the general rule is for them. The usual way it'll go is they'll take the dog to the park and I will stay home and cook. I do enjoy cooking, but sometimes it just isolates me from them too much. Oh, that's interesting. You mean it's weird that your husband has a girlfriend that he goes to the pool with without you and the dog park without you while you cook for both of them. That would somehow create resentment.

You're left in the kitchen. That's what she's saying. You're left alone in the kitchen cooking for them. Yeah. That's weird, right? It's, yeah. Who's going to be in our Polly? Pod?

Pod relationship. We have to pick. I don't know. I don't know. Do you think the cleaning lady? Hmm. I know you like her a lot. Right.

No, I mean, I mean, you know, it isn't about sex. It's about a relationship. So let's find somebody that I can, we can both have a relationship with. Right. It's about loving somebody else. It is. Watch. She's going to be really into your DJing stuff.

Like she'll be super encouraging. You think that the maid will be? Yeah. Part of our Polly pod and you'll be like. I'm just trying to get, if you're thinking whoever it is will be part of it or specifically our maid will be like, I like your DJ. Like she goes, your music is very good. Yeah.

Our housekeeper. Yeah. Tom, I love your music. You play so good. You make a scratch? Yeah. Show me how to scratch. I'll be like, shut up bitch.

Just shut the fuck, don't fucking encourage him. Babe, she just wants to learn how to scratch. And I'll be all of a sudden the bad wife because I don't encourage her scratching. Well, part of the thing is that in a Polly pod, we need to discuss these feelings because your jealousy is not gelling with what we're doing here. Let's go. Let's get, okay. So that's, they're the new ones.

Now the go-tos, the season one OGs, they're back, they're living in their pod still. Let's get a full pod update. Let's get an update of how it is. The pod, by the way, it's two married couples. Right. Well, you'll pick up their names. And they have rules too. There's rules.

They have rules, but each of them is dating other people. So the pod is on Monday and they get together and they're like, how's it going with Christina? And Christina is like, I'm seeing Jeffrey right now and things are really good. And they're like, that's wonderful. How about you, Tom? And I go, well, Angela and I are having the best of times. It's really, really fantastic. So that's what you're going to hear here.

It feels like there's a lot going on for everyone and I want to hear the updates. I am just having tons and tons of super great experiences with Rachel. Rachel and I have been dating for a couple of months. Now, the first woman that spoke is the wife of the man speaking. Cool. And so, and then his girlfriend is Rachel. We met at a function. We hit it off immediately.

It's awesome. Yay. She's doing a good job of letting down. I bet she is. You get that there? A little backhanded. I bet she is. No, no.

She was playing a lot. He goes, she's doing a great job of letting me in and she goes, I bet she is like letting you inside, you know? Yeah. So, yeah. No, she was actually like, she thinks it's great. She couldn't be happy. You know, I know.

I know the wives are extra supportive and they're extra supportive and smiley when they hear the other person talking about how much they love fucking the new partner. I think with these two, these are the ones that own the property. I think they really are the real deal. They're like OG lifestylers. Yeah. She's like, couldn't be happier that he nutted in somebody and he couldn't be happier that she's got like ...

Well, yeah. I mean, there are some people who are wired for this perfectly and you're blessed if you can find a partner who's equally wired for ... Because I feel that way. I feel that way 100%. I feel this way. Just the idea of a hot, sexy man jacklating my wife. It strangely turns me on.

I mean, I love it. I love it. What a ... It's a beautiful idea. Especially as I'm five months pregnant. Is there anything hotter? To think of him coming on my baby is even more beautiful. And if I could talk to him about it, you came on my baby today and he's like, I know, I did.

Oh my gosh. Oh man. Beautiful. I can't think of anything nicer too to have your DNA growing in me and then have another guy's just swirling ... Wash it over. Wash it over my son. You know, I've heard stories where women who are like five, six months pregnant cheat

on their husbands. It's cool. And it's like, it's so crazy to me to be ... I've got this belly right now. Really, who am I going to fuck now outside of the man whose child I'm carrying? It's preposterous. That's what you have. So disgusting. If you're married and you're pregnant, you use your ... you don't have ... what is ...

What do you call that? Rictum? You have anal sex. Right. Yeah. You know, it makes the taste. You don't cross the streams that way. Would you like more polyoptics?

I love it. Yeah. All day. I want to know what's going on with the rest of the pod. Michael's never had a lover on his own, even though we've shared a lot of lovers. So I'm pretty thrilled about his interest in her. It's thrilling. She's going pretty deep with Sephora.

Yeah. She's just like ... Sephora. Sephora. Tall. This is another ... yeah, this is tall. Tall, sink Sephora. Totally haunt each other.

Sephora's my new girlfriend. And we're totally in love. We've been dating for about seven months now. She's like my little Spanish gypsy. She's just cute. And we just hit it off great in bed. Victor is leaving to Europe, which I'm kind of bummed about. Yeah, baby.

I'm bisexual. I like boys. I've been bisexual for most of my sexual life. I got my first blow job at 16 years old. I'm out and proud about it. This is who I am. I'm a bisexual poly man. Cool, man.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. I mean, poly is a lot. And then to come out as bisexual.

It's a lot. It's a big year for Tall. He also talks about ... I don't think I have the clip here that they told his parents about that. Right. He was like, yeah, they didn't want to hear the details, but he imagines to be like, hey, I'm poly and I'm bi, and they're like, all right, Jesus. Could you imagine?

First of all, why do you have to come out to your parents as anything? You're a grown man. Why do you have to explain to them what makes your dick hard? Who cares? I think that I understand telling them you're bi. Keep it to yourself. Their old asses don't need to hear that you're poly because he has a wife. Just keep bringing the wife over and be like, this is my wife.

Let it go. They don't need to know. The poly part is the part I would keep secret. Not the bi. No, not the bi, but it's too much for old people's brains. Yeah, man. They're fucking old as shit. And they were like, well, I'm confused.

They didn't know what was going on. What do you think Top Dog would say if you came out as poly and bi? Why don't we call them and find out? Or your mother? Why? What these days? Should we try real quick? Should we just try?

Let's try real quick. Let's try. We'll see if they answer. Who knows what will happen here. It's late. Well, it's not that late, but it's late enough for all people. Yeah. Hello, dad.

Buddy. Hey. How you doing? Good. I got to tell you something. What's that? I'm I'm poly and I'm bi. What's that?

I'm poly and I'm bi. Poly and I'm bi. Yeah. Also, you're doing your switch hitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I'm also. All right, buddy. All right.

You're in brown cab. All right. Backdoor action. All right. Yeah. Yeah, you like it? I tell you, you know, nothing gives the father a greater feeling knowing his son is a versatile. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. I'm glad. Yeah. Thanks, dad. Yeah. You know, and then, you know, we always had this big debate whether it was KY or astro glide.

You know, remember when you were doing the John Walls thing and a guy was hitting on you in Vegas? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then the big debate came up. Of course, I had no idea what astro glide was, but it's for your asshole. It's part of the educational process of a parent. Would you be, you know, what do you think? How would you respond if one of your kids was like not only bisexual, but also said they were polyamorous,

meaning that they have multiple loving partners? Well, I guess. That would be, that would be difficult to comprehend. It's a bit much, right? That would be overwhelming. And I don't quite know how to explain to your mother. Okay. That's the thing is that we were just talking about the fact that I think that after your parents are a certain age,

you don't have to confess everything to them. You know, you, you know that there's certain things they can't handle, you know? Well, Tommy, there's certain things. First of all, women always say that, you know, honesty is the best poly, we should know everything. They have all certain memories like elephants, okay? And you tell them the wrong thing, and they'll bring it up 30 years later, okay? Right. So you got to think about what you're saying.

Bingo. Okay. And so I just think there's some things, you know, that you just don't want to know, okay? Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. People make the mistake to share every thought, every, every emotion, every new thing in their life with everyone. You don't need to do it to everybody.

No. And I'll tell you, particularly, you know, young married, I think we should each tell each other about our first time. Oh, no. Okay. Let's do this. Let's do that, you know. And then was she better than me? Yeah.

No, that's no good. You know? Wait a minute. I'm looking at your face. I think you think she was better than me. Yeah. Of course. I mean, that kind of shit, you know?

Of course. Yeah. I'm not going to go there. No. No. You were, you were, no one was, no one was like you, of course. Right? Of course.

Yeah. Oh, oh yeah. What do you, do you think that, that mom would go for a, a poly relationship? Like where you guys have a third lover that lives in the house with you? No. I don't think that would, unless that person was into the rosary and liked to go to 730 math with her. Yeah.

No. Well, what if she was into that, but also liked to play with your balls? No, that, that, that would not, that would not fly. No. Okay. You know, I mean, there, no, that's not, that is, this is, I'll tell you what, there's a better chance of me when it becoming president than that happening. Okay.

Yeah. I imagine that was pretty low. Hey, you know, we both, Christine and I have both been farting so much lately. It's like, it's really something. I mean, you know, ever since she became pregnant and the pregnancy has been evolving, her farts are much stronger. And I've just been farting up a storm and I'm not even pregnant. It's just so many farts.

Well, I think that for me, farting is the new virility of the 21st century. Really? Think about this. Would you really want to spend time with somebody who never farted? Think about that. Oh, hold on. Let me think about it a second. Hold on.

No, I don't want to spend time with someone who doesn't fart like that. No. Because, you know, that tells you what, what's really going on on the inside. Yeah. You know, they're talking about not a normal person. We were talking probably sociopathic circular kind of material. Okay. Wow.

Yeah. We were talking about, you know, we both know, both of us know couples where they don't fart in front of each other and they've been with each other for years. Oh. Well, you know, there's always, there's the first time for a lot of things. I mean, most people think the first time is when you have sex. Okay. But there's a first time when you, when you have a fart in front of each other.

There's a first time you take a shit in front of each other. There's a first time when you wipe. Okay. You know. I mean, there's a first time, first time when you, you know, you pick a booger out and you flip it across the room. Yeah. I mean, it's a lot of different.

First time. Yeah. First time. You know. Do you remember the first time you farted in front of mom? Oh yeah. You know, it didn't take long after a marriage. Do you remember exactly when it was?

Yeah, we were down in, we were in the Winter Park, Florida and we got transferred. And what was the, what's the setup? What was the scenario? Probably in the hotel room. Did you make it theatrical? Like did you lift a leg and everything? No, no, no. It just, just kind of came out, kind of accidental actually.

But then you were like, this barrier is broken and then you felt comfortable. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And then how about the first time you shit in front of her? You don't remember that quite frankly. I don't remember. Well, it seems like something you should remember.

Well, you know, I wasn't as well schooled and, and, and, you know, I really hadn't developed a, you know, it's like, I didn't have the skill sets about shooting today that I did in those days. I was still, still learning the game. Okay. Oh, right. Right. That makes sense.

I didn't know, you know, one to seven or eight. Yeah. Didn't have any of that knowledge. Right. None of it. Okay. Well, now you do. Now, you know, I'm kind of, you know, kind of a national authority.

I mean, you know, on the topic, I mean, I mean, I'm actually, well, that's a lot. You know, you think about it, you know, you probably have, let's say 365 days a year, six to 18. That probably got, you know, 100,000 shifts under me right now. Okay. That's pretty incredible. That really is pretty incredible. Yeah.

Well, I'm really looking forward to the holidays when you can meet my girlfriend and my boyfriend and my wife. You know, we always like that, you know, and I'll ask him who's favorite, I want to go to the Gay War Museum. Okay. What? Gay War? Gay War Heroes.

Okay. Is that a real thing? No, it isn't, of course not, but there will be one. So here's what we'll be doing in America. We take, we take after, after every, whether it's black, Jews, I don't care who it is. Okay. After every group that has been oppressed. Yeah.

Suddenly, he's not oppressed anymore. Then they go out and they come up with the museum for themselves. For themselves? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, there is like the, they gave, they just gave two Medal of Honor from World War I to a black guy and a Jew. Okay.

Right. Right. World War I. All right. We're talking a hundred percent. But they, they probably were deserved medals, right? Oh, they probably were, but this is what we do. Okay.

I'm not complaining about that. This is just commentary on how America works, you know, it's not judgmental about the individuals. And the gays were, um, you know, prevented from, from fighting and. Right. Right. And so now what we'll do is we'll have, we'll have like, there will be like, there's a Holocaust Museum and there's Black History Month, you know, and there's a Gay Pride Month. But what we don't have is a museum, you know, uh, a, a lesbian and gay museum.

We don't have a, you know, and, and of course, as people come out of the closet and their accomplishments and then we'll have a museum so people can go check all that shit out. Right. You know, they should check that shit out. Um. I mean, you know, that's what we do. I mean. Yep.

My boyfriend and I are going to check it out. You know, I mean, the, the, the only, the, you know, the new minority is, uh, senior old white man, bald head or white man, the new minority. Okay. Oh, you're the new minority? Poor guys. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you can't, you can't, people can say anything they want about us and that's okay. Right. Because we have been perceived as the oppressors. Well. So now it's our turn to basically put up with the shit. Okay. How does that make you feel? Well, I don't care.

Okay. Okay. I mean, you know, but I think it, I know it bothers other people, but it doesn't bother me. I don't give a shit. Okay. But there's, there's some truth to it though. You know.

Of course. Well, there is truth to it. It's true to it. It's all about, it's all about getting even. Okay. I mean, and so, but I mean that your, your tribe, they historically are the oppressors. Oh, we were very much, but I, I think it was more of a, what I call benign oppressors. We didn't consciously make an effort.

Do you mean all bald white men or just you and your home base? Well, a lot, a lot, a lot of white men, a lot of older white men. I don't think we, we were the oppressors, but we didn't realize it. Oh, I see. Yeah. We just thought that's the way the world worked. Right. Because it's awesome.

It works. It works so awesome for you though. You're like, man, this world is awesome. I mean, you know, this is perfect. I didn't know. I mean, I always thought that's the way it worked. Right. I'm the best.

You know, men, men became doctors, women became nurses. Yeah. Sure. You know, everybody we hired, you know, we always had a, you know, one or two women, basically with a man to her old jeans. Jump on here. Can you hear me? He can't hear me.

I don't know if he can hear you, but I can hear you and they can hear you. And I can relay what you're saying. So say something. Okay. And so that was the kind of the way, you know, we were just raised. Okay. Right. Like my mother, my mother, but here's my mother, here's how my mother picked up who

to vote for. She asked my father who he was voting for and she would vote forever. He voted for it because she, daddy, the best. Okay. Well, I mean, that's right. Have you asked Todd's dog because it's, he can't hear me. What do you think of the Caitlyn Jenner? Dad, what do you think of Caitlyn Jenner?

Well, actually I've become surprisingly sympathetic to transgender situations. Okay. Tell us about it. Why? And I think that it's, you know, to be, people are born that way. Right. It's not an acquired behavior. You're just born that way.

So they're suffering. They're suffering until they make it. They're suffering the entire time. Okay. And so you, you see this for taking young children. So you know, to be, to, if that's really who you are on the inside and this is what you got to do to, you know, I want to tell you something. I was just going to say, you should tell him now's the time to tell him.

I'm Polly. I'm bi. And I'm also going to transition to be a woman. Yeah. But the question is, is if, what's going to happen to your dingleberries? Okay. Well, so you're making it about sex and I'm talking about gender. Well, I know, but you know, I guess in today's world, it was going to make a difference because

you used to think sex between man and woman now. Shit. Who cares? Is that because I'm Polly and bi when I switch genders, how that'll affect both of my partners? Well, you know, that's right. You could become a, you should become a Mormon. You think so? That's yeah.

Cause you could, you know what? You could load the boat with spouses. Oh yeah. You could load the boat. What do you want? Two wives? Yeah. Would you like to have two wives by the way?

No. No. Tell me why. Why not? Cause you'd get confused with the different conditioners and shampoos in the shower. That would create, that would create a real, and then, you know, one will want to tell the paper from the top down, the other from the bottom. So this would screw things up.

You know, you, you would, you would have, you'd get there, you know, you'd buy them a gift and get their brow sizes mixed up and. This is a good point. This is a good point. Yeah. I mean, you know, you don't want to give somebody that's got a, you know, a nice back of double D's, a B. Okay. Right.

Yeah. And vice versa. How much do you love big tits on a woman? Oh, I love it. Love it. Yeah. Love it. Was that, that, that's your, on the, on the, on the list, that's like top of your list.

Well, you know, I think that actually it's good for the first 15 minutes. Okay. But ultimately, I think that it's the face that ultimately keeps me going. Right. Right. And then so. You know, that's kind of like the tits are like the lasso, but the face is the corral, if you know what I mean.

And, okay. Yeah. So face is first tits and then like full Bush is third. Well, yeah, full Bush is yet, you know, that's my day. That was, you know, that was, that was the way, you know, did you guys have a lot of anal back in your day? Never did that once my entire life. Really?

Never. And did you ever have, did you ever get service back there from a woman or no? No, no, not once. Not even once. Never had her like eat breakfast out of there. And like, no, never. Wow. Ask him what, what does he think his, his best attributes are physically for a woman?

What's his version? What's like your, like when a woman is running down, running down, like what's your attractive features? What is the rundown? What, what's, what's at the top of the list? How does it break down? You mean for me? Yeah.

Physically for her about you, like when women go, you should check out this guy. You should check out top dog because he's got. You know, I guess probably my, my butt. Your butt, huh? Goodness maximum. What comes out of it? Or what's. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, it's, it's kind of like, you know, it is kind of like the Taj Mahal story, you know, a lot of fancy stuff comes out, you know, but that's really probably my best feature. My butt. Now, do you think you have this glorious butt, this glorious gluttonous because of all your powerlifting? Cause you did do a.

Absolutely. I did do it. It's all because I built that up. Yeah. From the eighth grade up. Absolutely. I know it's weird. I've, I've actually admired your butt before purely.

Yeah. Aesthetically. I'm like, wow, my dad's got a nice butt. Yeah. Yeah. It is, it is probably my, you know, one of my greatest. Yeah. I got it.

I got a nice butt buddy. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. It's good and Alice buddy. And then when you were in your, I mean, your full, like in your heyday, you were, you had a pretty, pretty killer physique.

I mean, what flat ass. Oh yeah. I was, you know what I would say, light, light, light heavyweight champion in 1975. Yeah. I weighed 181 and three quarters. Oh wow. And you were, you were yoked, man. You were solid.

32 inch waist, 32 inch waist. Okay. Wow. You know what that was like. And those quads and those traps. Holy cow. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

I was just one, you know, one piece of just basically grizzled. What was his opening line back then? Yeah. What was your opening line back then? You know, I really don't remember. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I mean.

Did you do a lot of like, I know that body builders are into like letting the girls, you know, feel, were you into like, Hey, feel this, touch this, like feel my legs, feel my abs. Now I didn't really, uh, I wasn't a bodybuilder. I was a weight-efter. Right. I know. I made that distinction.

I consider to be bodybuilders, to be inferior. Okay. Oh shit. Tell me why. Why? Because weightlifting requires skill, balance, technique, utilizing leverage and bodybuilders were just trying to make their bodies beautiful, but they had bigger muscles, but they couldn't necessarily lift more than me.

So weightlifting really was, you know, there's a lot of skill involved. You know, bodybuilders just basically pumped iron and got big. So you guys thought that bodybuilders were basically pussies? No, no, not pussies. We just felt that they were inferior. Oh, that's cool. I love that feeling in life. Like sometimes there's people you meet in any line of work where you just, you know

that they're inferior and you, it's a really a fun feeling to kind of, to digest and kind of get washed over with. Well, you know, you'd be a, I'd be a, I mean, here's a chair here, I'd be at a gym. Sometimes I'd travel. I'd be at a gym and either some guy with, you know, big biceps, lifting weights and so then I would go over there and just, you know, basically show off by doing some power snatches with two and a quarter or, you know, some power cleans with multiple power cleans with 250 and, you know, and then all the way down squats with 310 dives or something like

that, you know, something that he couldn't do. Okay. Right. And of course I would pretend this was all easy. Okay. Would make no, no comment, you know, in the way you do it is, is they would make the icon, they would look at you first, but then you would never look at what they're doing. All right.

Right. Kind of, kind of the alpha male, you know, it's like those big horn sheep when they're in, you know, you've seen it on television when the animals kind of, you know, that's the way you handle it in the gym, you know, and you, you'd always do something that nobody else could do. And I would finish it off with my snatches, snatches because, snatches because no one could do snatches in the gym but me. Okay.

They were just fascinated that I could do a snatch. Okay. So. All right. Okay. Both take 225 or so and do four snatches in a row and just make it look easy. Sure. That would, that's, that's the way I did it.

I love it. Hold on. What were his dumps like back then? Oh yeah. I know your dumps are powerful because you're exercising. Did he have the same thing? Yeah. I wonder that too, Dad.

You know, I go to the gym now with a trainer and. Yeah. On the days, especially where I have really rigorous training sessions, I always have an extra dump that day. Do you run into that? Did you run into that in your heavy training? No, no, actually, I think that I didn't really understand in those days, the importance of diet, pretty much a meat and potatoes, you know, vegetable kind of diet at stake

about five days a week. Oh, so you didn't shit. Jesus. You know, we weren't into the fit and we didn't get into fish and chicken and, you know, but basically as a meat and potato diet, meat, you know, meat had a lot of protein, good red meat, a lot of steaks, you know, lamb, but we didn't get into, we didn't really understand diet like people know today. So I didn't really have the, you know, it burned up so many calories.

Yeah. Sure. At the gym that I didn't actually, you know, my, my glory day and, you know, on the throne that taken dumps, it had gotten over. Oh. Interesting. Yeah. Look, we got it.

We got it. I have a lot of this. We have to run, but I love you and thank you for being supportive of my poly by transgender lifestyle. Well, you know, I'm becoming, I'm becoming a tolerant, which something that I never thought I would do. Well, that's so great. I actually think that's wonderful.

I think it's. Love you, buddy. Love you. Love you. Love you. Okay. Bye bye. Bye.

Wow. Oh, who knew he'd be so supportive of your poly by transgender lifestyle? Yeah. That's pretty neat. I'm gonna like that about my dad. Poly by a man. You know, I didn't know that his dumps weren't that exciting. I didn't know that either.

How neat that we learned that it's pretty neat. You know, you'd think that in his younger days, the dumps would be better. Any younger days, but now it's, it's neat to know that we have something to look forward to an old age. That is neat. That's real neat. It's really neat. Can we hear the rest of their, their pod meeting though?

Absolutely. Speaking of Europeans, my brother is coming from Europe. I liked him. He's very sweet. He's hot, dude. I know you guys had like chemistry going. We didn't really get to do anything, but that's the, the by poly guy is telling the other man in the pod that he is attracted to his brother.

Who's visiting from Europe. Right. Okay. Maybe instead of staying in the kitchen, he could stay like maybe between you guys in your bed. We're all like, we're all like, push the women. I've known Tom for 14 years and from the beginning I knew that he was bisexual. As long as he's having safe sex conversations and having safe sex as well, you know, what's

the difference? Well, I'll talk about Jason next. We just started dating. It's like obvious attraction. Jason's a business partner. He's been working with Michael and myself for over six months. Our age difference is 10 years. I think it's working for both of us.

He's so cute. You know, I realized that the big thing that's so different about the, the poly things is that you get into relationships. So it's not like, hey, yeah, it's not swinging. Hey, I'm going to bang someone. It's fully like we're having the best time. We went to the park today. The thing that makes most people go, well, that's the one thing I couldn't accept from

my partner is what they're like. That's what we're all about. Because even swinging, you're just fucking other people, but this is like full blown dating and you're in love. And now you're telling your primary partner that you're in love with someone, which is to me really complicated. How creepy is it when they're like, why don't you have him sleep between you guys and they do that creepy like swinger laugh?

It's the thing that people do when they're, when they're like, we're, we're very sexual. Like that, that time we hung out with that couple that was like, she's really into sex, you know, and she's like, I am, and I like, I like your body. Right. They really put it out there a lot. Yeah. Look, this next part of this is so big that within this, we've never done this, but within this update,

it's so good. I love this. Chips in a bowl. It's so good. This clip, when we watched this, I think both of us paused the television, had our mouths open and looked at each other. It's big. This is the best clip of all time.

Yeah. So this is Tall's wife about to give her update. You ready? Here we go. So this is kind of big. But I think, you know, in the past, I've told you that Jesse has a problem with condoms. He just doesn't have any sensitivity and he hates using them. Poor guy.

So what we've decided to do is I'm going to fluid bond with Jesse and start using condoms with Tall. You understand what's happening or no? Oh, I get it. I don't, I get it. Jesse is her boyfriend. Tall is her husband. Right.

She's going, let's get this clear. I'm going to fluid bond with Jesse. And use condoms with Tall. So she's going to start using condoms with her husband and have the new guy drop loads. Right. The new guy gets to bust nuts in Tall's. Guy doesn't like condoms. We talked about this already.

Yeah. I've told you that he doesn't like, remember we talked about that? But here, here's what they have to say. He doesn't like them. Wow. Choosing to fluid bond with someone other than your primary is a big choice. I feel pretty good about it. He's got a full panel.

Now he's clean, no STDs. And so I'm kind of, I'm excited about it. How do you feel about it? To tell you the truth, I'm kind of pretty turned on by it. Just the idea of a hot, sexy man, ejaculating my wife, strangely turns me on. You know, I'm fine. I'm fine with that. And that, of course, was our opening clip.

Babe, how hot? That's tall. How hot would it be for you if I started fluid bonding? I thought we already covered this. I'm into it. I'm into it. Fluid bonding. You mean my new favorite thing.

I'm going to fluid bond with Jesse. Why don't you just say like, he's just going to dump clips on me. I'm going to let this dude, who he doesn't like. Condoms. Which guy likes condoms son of a bitch doesn't like. What guy loves condoms? Thing is, I love fucking, but I love with condoms. So I'm sure I don't know about you, but I'm sure our listeners are sitting here wondering.

Well, how did it go without the condom for the poor, poor Jesse? How did it go with it? How'd the fluid bonding go? Oh, let's check in for the first time we had sex without a condom. And it was awesome. And they're having that gross, like hippie people sex. A lot of head caressing and I caught meaningful gazing. Throw up here.

It feels so good as a condom. It feels so nice to be that connected to you. Yeah, it's not really good. That was so nice, baby. That was so sweet. Felt so good. Like it makes such a big difference to me. Yeah, I told them earlier that you didn't like condoms.

And I just have a really hard time like connecting and going slow. It feels like play or like a one night stand. This doesn't feel like a relationship to me. Oh, Jesse, thank you for understanding for so long, you know. Oh, that's really beautiful. This bitch got her husband to wear condoms with her. Wait, but why can't they? And he's fully on board with it.

Why can't they both just dump clips in her? I don't understand that either. Yeah, so everybody's tested. Everybody's just fucking the same people. So why can't they just doll everybody dump clips? Well, she further explained in that thing that her husband's way more high risk. Oh, because he's with a dude? He's with a lot of people.

Oh, so she's like, you know, if you don't mind. I see. But there is something about I don't know why they can't take two loads at once. But maybe the guy he's with right now. He's with a guy. Oh, right. He's with a guy and a girl. Oh, so maybe they're not.

Well, did you not hear earlier? I'm sorry. I'm very confused. I'm proud to have come out as polyamorous. And now I'm excited to share that I'm bisexual. I'm both. It's so it's so complicated. So, okay.

But I'm saying like maybe maybe both those people he's partnering with, they're not monogamous to him is what I'm saying. Like maybe they're not just committed. Yeah, you're right. We don't know. So who knows? Wow. Wow.

What a neat day for them. But it is a neat day. And fluid bonding. It's a whole new expression. I didn't know about it. I didn't know. I feel so much more connected to you. What if I told you I was going to fluid bond with somebody else?

Love it. That's my all-time new favorite drop forever. It's the all-time greatest thing ever. I just got to find reasons to drop it all. That's even I even isolated that separately. Get my buzzer. She's amazing. I think if you were to tell me that you fluid bonding with some other woman or man,

I'd be very upset. Fluid bonding. Fluid bond. Well, that's what keeps this special. First of all, who comes up with the the dictionary for these Polly people? I feel like Sagittarius and Paul got together. They came up with it. We're not called a group.

We're called a pod. What was the name? Who was the name of the other girl he was with? Me and Sag. Persephone. Some weird. Persephone. Sapporo.

Sapporo. Sapporo. The Japanese beer? Yeah. Sapporo and I. Sapporo and I. Fluid bonding. Just say coming inside of weirdos.

You know, it's a big deal. Do you realize that it's a big deal? Choosing to fluid bond with someone other than your primary is a big choice. Yeah, it seems a little risky to me. But hey, who am I to judge? What a world. Thank you, Showtime.

Thank you, Polly people. And I actually prefer the crunchy granola Polly people to like the hot MMA couple. You know what I'm saying? Oh, you mean Megan and I? Megan and I. Megan. Yeah, the crunchy ones are better. Yeah, because they're really into the lifestyle.

So into it. And into defining it and talking about it and coming up with ridiculous words for it. Meaning, do you realize that these people meet for coffee every Monday morning with a pot to go over? Who's fucking who? It's very important. So ridiculous. Makes them feel connected.

It's too. God, get your life, white people. White people are crazy. White people are crazy. They've only shown white people. There's only white people doing this shit. Yeah, at least on Showtime. I, you know, this wonderful clip here came in.

I don't know if it was it sent to you, the bowler. Yeah, this is so fucking funny. I just want to get the guy's name. You better get your life. Is it Weber's name? Peter Weber. I believe that's Vaber. Pete Weber or is it Weber?

I don't know how he says it. I don't know. I think it's Pete Weber. This guy is bowling in a big tournament for the win, gets the strike, and the crowd goes crazy. And then, you know, a lot of times you watch sports, especially, and you see somebody, a big, you know, miraculous thing, and you see them talking. You don't hear them on the live shot. Which is unfortunate.

They should be my game. It's the best. Yeah. I mean, you see in basketball, somebody hits a three to win the game, and then you see his mouth moving. Yeah, when I hear what they're saying. And then sometimes later, they'll, you know, they'll show you the audio. And in this case, the audio was broadcast of what he said right after he bowled a strike

to win this tournament. Okay. That's Who do you think you are? I am. Who do you think you are? I am. And I'm trying to figure out, because there's a lot of background noise, obviously,

all the parts of it, you know, everything that's being said there. I feel like there might be a god damn it to start. And then at the very end, he goes, get it right. That's what I think is happening. I love it. 01:00:16,620 --> 01:00:17,660 God damn it. Yeah.

That is right. That is right. I did it. I did it. Right. As I said, get it right. I love it. He's fired up.

Who do you think you are? I am. It's so great. Makes no sense. And it's not like you can see him saying that. He's like, God damn you. The best is that the second comment underneath that clip, it says, what an alcoholic piece of shit.

And it's almost said, like, you know that the person who wrote it knows about him. Knows who he is. Knows who he is. Totally. And it's like, that guy's an alcoholic piece of shit. You can tell he's been, he considers himself the underdog for sure. And you can tell he's been run through it. Yeah.

He looks like he's, he's lived hard, you know. Get it, man. Shit. I get it. Who do you think you are? So wait, just so we, just so we go again, it was a God damn it. Then he goes, I did the five. Is it like, I did the seven, five.

I don't know if it's like a bowling. The pins or something. Pins thing. Yeah. I did the seven, five. Let's see. The claimant. And he got it.

That is why I did it. I still got the five. Are you kidding me? That's right. Another five. Another five. Another five. Are you kidding me?

Another five. Maybe like another 5,000. Another 500,000. Who knows? That's another five wins. I think you are. I am. Give it right.

Wow. I like that though, because that's how I feel when I win stuff. Yeah. And I always, I never understood why you have to diminish your own excitement at winning. Yeah, you're right. It's considered rude to be like that, but he's right, dude. I wish Tiger Woods would do this after every time he wins some shit. Tiger Woods.

Mackerel, whatever. All these. Tiger Woods. Athletes. And for the win. And this is a 15 foot putt. He hits it. Rolling.

Rolling really end. Oh, yeah. Yeah, never, never nice. That never nice. Never nice. Never nice, never nice. Set it off in this motherfucker. Like that?

I think that's how Tiger Woods celebrate. For the win. Yeah. Well, don't don't boys get in trouble in football for, for like prancing around too much. Oh, yeah. Get touchdowns. It's crazy. Like in Little League and in high school, it's completely frowned upon.

Like it's that is big time gentlemen's, you know, gentlemen only kind of thing where like you're not supposed to glow. You're not even supposed to celebrate. It's so crazy how stupid and forces in college. It's a real, they, they open the door a little bit more. But like you're not supposed to dance. You're not allowed to spike the ball. Stupid.

You're basically allowed to like show some excitement. Your, your teammates can lift you up off the ground. You pat everybody. And then they're like, get out of here, get out of here. Like the refs shove everybody out of the end zone. You can probably go to your sideline and act crazy, but you're not supposed to do anything on the field. You're just supposed to like, you can get excited,

but like you can't make a gesture really. I always think it's really funny to, to give yourself too much credit. Like I love when people bring me up to stage and the audience is clapping. Like I really pretend like I'm the big shit. Like, yes, thank you. Yes. Yeah. Like it's so ridiculous to, to buy into your own shit.

Set it off. So funny. Yeah. Yeah. But I like that this guy does it. Good for him. Good for you. Oh, good for you.

Yeah. Deserves it. Deserves that glory. So crazy. Yeah. So crazy. What a shitty sport bowling though. That's a tough sport.

I can't imagine there's a ton of money in it. There's not. And here's the thing. That is a tough sport. Like not that many people are as good as the, like the best guys are, or they're so, but not enough people care about it. That's the only reason why.

Yeah, I guess, right? Yeah. If more people cared about it, it'd be big money. Because it's not, it's fucking hard. Bowling's not easy. For sure. The best guys, the best guys. I'm sorry, what was that before you just?

I was saying that the best guys. Before that you said something else, I didn't really. I don't know. I'm just trying to, I think they are, they're amazing because not a lot of people can do that. But, you know, they're, they're definitely as skilled as, as any other athlete in a, in a, you know, particular field. You know what I mean?

Yeah, they don't have to stay in shape though. No, you can be a real animal. Dude, I went to the gym today. Yeah, let's talk about it. I haven't worked out since Thursday and it's Monday. I, I don't know, that's not that much time off. And you know, certain days you feel like doing something more. Like some days I go, I just want to lift heavy today.

You just feel like that, you know what that movement is like and you go, that's what I want to do today. Today, I, before I got there, I was like, I want a box today. I want to, I just, I just feel like hitting the bag. And soon as I got there, I go, let's box. And he goes, oh, you want to hit, you want to go to the boxing gym? I go, yeah. Okay.

So we go to the boxing room there. I think within five minutes, I was like, I made a big, big mistake because I just sometimes forget at how much cardio is involved in it. Oh, it's so hard. It's the most brutal fucking thing where like, I felt my heart was coming out of my chest. Oh, dude. You know, I was like, like just gasping.

And it always, I mean, I've done it a bunch to the point where like, I know what I'm getting into, but it's almost like I forgot what I asked myself to do. It's, it's one of the most humbling workouts you can do is a, is a, is a boxing workout with somebody coaching you, I'm saying, not like alone, but like. How long are your rounds? Like three minutes or what do you do? Yeah. I mean, the thing is that this, this dude will, we don't just do the rounds.

It's like, he'll start off with, you know, throw, throw 20 left jabs, throw 20 right crosses, then switch it up. But then once you get going and you're throwing combinations, you'll, you'll go through like a combo and then he'll go, hit the mat and give me like, um, 40 crunches so that you're, you're, you constantly stay moving. And then you finish your crunches and he gives you the jump rope and he's like jump rope, then go back to the bag and do combos again.

You do your combos, then he's like hit the ground and plank, like do a plank, you know, then you finish planking. He's like, do the jump rope again. Now do this combo, throw, throw hooks, do, uh, you know, do this like machine gun thing where you just beat the shit out of the bag. So basically your heart is racing for as long as you're doing it, you know, which is great. It's a great thing.

But I just, it was one of those things where I did, I almost, I forgot what I asked for. I was like, fuck this. Cause I basically didn't want to be outside today. He made you do that shit outside? No, no, no. It was in the, it was in the boxing zone. Oh, I was going to say. Okay.

Oh, but you, yeah. I say you're saying to get out of the heat. Yeah. I was like, it's so hot. I'll just do it and then I regret it immediately. I'm sorry, jeans. That's no, it's good. No, it's good.

It's good. I'm just saying that like, I just felt like I was going to puke. That's fun. Yeah. I got a swim. I got my swimsuit, my prego swimsuit. Yeah. My goggles, my little cap.

I'm going to go swim. You want to, you want to come to that boxing room with me? Nope. It's actually a lot of pregnant boxers. There's a few, there's a few. Yeah. No one's going to hit you though. That's fine.

I could take a hit. You can just hit the back and no one hit me. I mean, that's good. It's good. You know, the worst part is too, when you want to really be humble. Here's the thing is I was boxing in that gym and there's another guy on the bag next to me. And he was, he was doing remarkably better. But not just that.

It's when you realize that the guy doing remarkably, remarkably better is just like an average, you know, average boxer, average athlete. Do you know what I mean to put yourself in your place? Yeah. Like if you're running and somebody blows by you and then you're like, then they're like, that's a very average runner. Like to really. Oh, right.

And you're like, I fucking suck. Yeah. I was like, man, I really, today I was like, I fucking suck. I think that's how I felt about every sport or thing that I've ever picked up ever. Yeah. But you're like, oh, that's how it looks. That's how people do that. Yeah.

Like this guy was, he wasn't garbage. He was, he was, you know, used to doing it. He does it a lot. You could tell he does it a lot. But he was still like, you know, kind of probably an average athlete. And he just crushed it. Oh my God. It's the worst.

He was, he's the one that he had the timer going. So he was doing a full rounds and then just, you know, 10 second breaks. Do you think he looked over at you and was like, definitely. I think he was definitely like, what are they doing? Because we were doing a lot of stuff that was, it might like my footwork is terrible, like with boxing, you know, and, and he was like, you know, this guy, one of the things it was like, do this thing where like you, you do a circle around the bag and you do a jab

and then a hook as you do it. But like when it's done well, it's very fluid. Like jab hook, step, step, step, like it works for you. And I was like, step, step, step, jab, step hook, like looking like a fucking, I'm sure he was like, who's this fuck? Yeah, but you're, you're learning. I mean, you don't do that every day. No, I haven't done it in a while.

Dude, you had to have known you were just like newbie amateur hour. I imagine that's how people feel when they see me doing karate. And they're like, I'm just a yellow belt. And I'm like, I'm really good at this. We both ate when my dad was on. And now we'll get, oh yeah, I agree. We're both pregnant. You're five months pregnant.

You gotta eat all the time. It is true. Eat right now on, on Mike. Don't do that. I had to fight the urge today to stop at Carl's Jr. Again. That's your spot, huh? Yep.

I've successfully not eaten there for two days now, but it's a fight. And so far I'm winning, dude. It's just like nothing hits a spot like that Western bacon, man. Fuck. It's everything. It's the crunch, the onion rings and the Q sauce and the cheese and the bacon. You and BBQ is so crazy. Me eating barbecue.

I love barbecue sauce. I'm put that shit on everything specifically that dreamland barbecue sauce that we got from Slade Monk in Alabama. Roll tide. Roll tide. Slade Monk gave me a big jug of it and I flew home and I've been, I was hoarding it and now I'm done. I got to get more of that dreamland, man. That's the fucking, oh, it's like sweet and good.

How is that? What are you eating? An egg? Ugh, stinky, huh? Dude. So smelly. We did an hour today. Yeah, fitness.

Yeah. So it's like an hour of cardio. Yeah. And I've eaten nothing but healthy since then. Yeah, that's terrible. And that's the one thing is like whenever I do a workout and I eat what I'm supposed to, I always feel like when am I going to eat something? Yeah, starving.

That's why you need a Western bacon cheeseburger. Exactly. Exactly. And that's what I want to tell you right now. 01:11:56,140 --> 01:11:56,620 Train. I got a Western bacon cheeseburger on the way. Oh my God, I'm so excited.

No, I've had two chicken breasts. Salad. Hard boiled egg. Not enough. I feel like I could eat a hand right now. I know. When I used to do gongfu. In my 20s, we do rounds like that.

I'm like punching and kicking rounds, like what you're talking about, like boxing shit. And I remember, dude, just doing like five rounds of that shit and being so hungry. And the first thing I'd do is go and get a bean and cheese burrito, which is like the worst thing you could probably eat after. A burrito. But I needed that. I needed something real. You don't really lose weight that way, but you know.

You know what I need? I need a real motivator. What is that? I need somebody to motivate me when I go for these workouts. Man. I wish I could hire somebody like, I don't know, Coach Ice. This personal right here, bro. There you go.

This personal. You and my face in my house, disrespecting me. I got to do something about it. My family right there, bro. I got to protect my mama. My mama sitting in the stands, man. Your parents sitting right there in your house, man. Your mama in the fucking stands.

They're trying to disrespect me in my house and grab the fucking remote control. That's exactly what they did. They come in your house, grab the remote control, Derek Willis, and control your fucking TV and your motherfucking house. TV? They can't run in the house. Put on the shit you got on and say, fuck you. But I feel like I could take it on the world right now.

That's the kind of motivation you need. Negative, fearful. I just got those wireless Bluetooth headphones. I'm going to put that on my iPod and listen to it before every workout. That's a great idea, Tom. That's what motivates you, fires you up. You got to do it. You got to do it.

I'm already excited about the idea. It's a great idea. I think you need an abusive trainer. That's got to be your next move. Like really abusive? This guy's pretty close. Yeah, he's not abusive, but he's close enough. He's a mind fucker.

He gets disappointed when you're not doing as well as he wants you to do. Like he mind fucks me the right way. And then when I'm really like, I know you're disappointed, then he'll be like, he'll switch it and be like, that was good. Like you're doing a good job. But he'll feel the disappointment. I can sense it in him first. Like when he's like, do 20 of those, and I'm like spent, and he'll be like,

all right, just do 10. But he knows when to give you a little something. He does a little something. And then he pulls his love away. Daddy, daddy gives you the approval and daddy takes it away. I mean, here's the thing. When you're really like, well, there's, there's days where I'm like, you know, just feeling it, you're crushing it.

He's, he's happy as shit. Sure. But you can tell the days like today when it was like cardio, which is my worst thing when it's, when it's not good. He's like, I don't want to have that much more time. So, I mean, you know, like it's kind of like. Tick tock. Yeah.

Come on. I'll be like, he gave me some of the day and I had the gloves on. He asked me to hold this medicine ball. I was like, can I take my gloves off? He was like, nope. I'm like, can I? He's like, no. Wait, why?

I don't understand. Because he wanted me to do it with the gloves on. But I'm saying like, I asked to do something and he was like, no. Maybe it's time to get a new guy. No, but see, we work differently in that sense because you would not tolerate someone not being nice. Don't like it. Well, I don't need the abuse.

I feel like I've had enough. I don't like the abuse and life. Enough life abuse? Yeah. I mean, you know, I grew up with a shitty mom. I don't need any more fucking shitty people in my life. I like people being nice to me. Yeah.

I can't deal with shitty people, shitty attitudes. I'm all done. I got it. You know, clean house. I'm all done with douchebags. No fucking room. Oh my God. How about that?

We talked about that. We watched the documentary that Vice did. Was it Vice who did it? No, not Vice. Anyway, following Dennis Rodman going to North Korea. We did a full episode about... Here we go, Hulkster. You know something, earthquake.

I remember what it... That was the wrong thing. About Rodman that Rodman and we played these Rodman clips, they actually had a documentary crew with him on this trip. And that's what this film is about. It's about the behind the scenes. So we played that wacky interview ages ago on CNN where he was clearly drunk out of his mind.

That's it. And the other guys were just like, oh my God, there was so much eye-rolling. Now you see how drunk he was. Dude. He was fucking shit-based. Dude. Dude.

It's brutal. I mean, that's the kind of shit where you watch yourself and you're like, I got to stop drinking. Like, he went over him and all the basketball players. And I get it now, I think, seeing the documentary. You're like, oh, he really did want a kind of... Open some sort of dialogue with North Korea, whatever, through basketball.

It's actually intrinsically kind of a neat thing. And he goes to like, what would you say that is? Like a ball or some kind of dinner functioning? It's a state dinner. It was, it's, you know, mine, it is North Korea, but it was an official, like you're invited by top-level officials of, you know, whatever country it might be to have dinner. And he was like, wow.

Oh my God. He was, they gave him the mic. And he was like, hey, dude, dude, watch this right. And he was like, we're gonna sing and just say something crazy and everybody's looking around. Like they're like, is this the way that all of you act? Or is this just him? My favorite is like, there's a sweet little lady singing,

like in Korean. She's like, I know he know we don't don't. Like doing like the traditional... That was a beautiful rendition of it. Like welcome to Korea. We're starving, but everything's great. The leader loves us. And he has his friend grab the microphone

out of that girl's hand and like mimic singing in Korean. Is that what he was singing? Yeah, it's hard to say what exactly it was. Horrifying. And this poor girl was like, I'm going to be punished by the Supreme Leader for not singing this song. Guess what? I can pull it up.

Oh my God. Please do. You want to hear this? I'd love to. He, and the best is that the movie's narrated by this British guy who does this kind of great, slightly masked cut. It's backhanded a lot.

Yeah, backhanded a lot. Very sarcastic. And it tells you like the full story, but he, the way that... I mean, here's Dennis one time talking about the trip coming up. Oh my God. He's like, whoo.

Don't you know that he just killed his uncle and shot him in the head? I said, no, I didn't know that. What? Because, you know, he killed people a lot. No, I didn't know that. Do we in America? Yeah.

What? Why am I doing it? Why am I trying to change the shit? You know, I'm not Martin Luther King. I'm not this bullshit. If someone will shoot me, please do it today. Do it fucking today right now. I'm right here.

Fuck it. Okay. That's what I tell people. I say, man, I can't sit there and say, hey, you know what? Hey, Marshall, can you let this guy free? Really? Hey, can you do that for me? Can you do one thing?

Can I go over and get him and take him back to me, to America and stuff like that? Do you understand what he's saying? I don't understand what the fuck he's saying. I know that he breaks into tears every now and then. Yeah. He breaks into tears quite a bit. He's out of his fucking mind.

It's the alcohol, because when he's not drinking, he's somewhat cogent. And then once the booze gets into him, it's just over. Is this, this might be one of the first times we see. I look forward to the chance of trying to help bridge this gap that we have between what Americans think about Korea and what Koreans think about America. And Americans don't have an accurate perception

of what things are like here. Understandably so, because they don't get any accurate coverage of what the situation is. They don't know, you know. And I try to tell people what I've seen here, my experiences. I've always thought the Korean people are so friendly and warm and inviting.

Even if I am a U.S. imperialist bastard, they're still nice to me and always friendly and they're always warm. So that was the guy that went with Dennis. But I don't know if this is the super drunk trip yet. Hold on. So they go to a dinner here to start things off. I imagine he's already sauced on this trip.

This must be... Well, he's settling in a hotel. He's taken straight to an 18-course welcome dinner with the North Korean sports minister. He's told that Kim Jong-un is too busy to attend, which is no surprise seeing as he's just purged his uncle. In the Marshalls absence, plans are made for the next few days. It's a relaxed first evening.

But tomorrow, it's down to business. So that's the trip. This has to be the trip before. He's still sober at that point. He hasn't started drinking yet. So he's checking out these Korean basketball players who, surprisingly, they were pretty damn good. Yeah, they kick our asses.

They kicked the Americans asses. No, the Americans just for the record. Sent retired basketball players. Cliff Robinson, Ben Baker. I don't remember the other guys. Rodman, who's drunk. Karim Abdul-Jabbar. No, Karim Abdul-Jabbar.

But it's all guys that, you know, they're retired. And these guys, you know, they were great shooters. They hit like just nothing but threes the whole time. And I don't know, the American guys weren't prepared for it, but it was, you know, it's pretty, it was pretty casual. It's not like it was, it's not like everything was on the line. But still, they did win. They did win when they played one half of basketball.

So anyways, he goes on this trip. He sees Kim Jong-un, the Marshall, as they call him. And the idea comes about to go back on Kim Jong-un's birthday with these players. In other words, this is, I think, in total, Rodman has made three trips, I think, I think. Well, originally, let's be clear. Like they contacted Dennis Rodman's people.

Yeah, yeah. Kim Jong-un is a big fan of basketball, American basketball, and they contacted like his manager. And that's how we get to meet the Marshall. Right. It's not like Dennis Rodman initiated, which is what I thought, like that he was kind of courting Kim Jong-un, but no, it's not the case. Yeah.

I mean, imagine if the Supreme Rita was a huge fan of our show. Doug Christie, by the way, sorry, another name, just, and Kenny Anderson. So these are big names if you know basketball. You think Supreme Rita, Kim Jong-un, would be a fan of ours? Yeah. I mean, what if he invited us to North Korea to do your mom's house? Do you think, do you think you'd do that? Would you go?

If he was like, I just want to hear all the drops or like, I want to hear the segments. I don't know. Would you go? Of course. How weird would that be? What a great story. But what if he's like, I've written the show and you make many jokes. I don't like many jokes, not funny to me.

You know, like there's, you make fun of how I talk. His paper is stuck in mud. Oh no. There he is. That's Kim Jong-un. That's Kim Jong-un right there. Are you looking for a clip right now? Well, I'm in the documentary and I'm trying to go, I'm trying to find the state dinner here.

Holy fuck. Well, when you're looking for that, I'll make a point. It's so sad because there actually is a point where Kim Jong-un is supposed to meet Dennis Rodman for a weekend at a ski resort. This is after the game. This is after the game. You know, it's been a wonderful event. The Americans have made friends with the North Koreans

and the Supreme Leader is going to go meet Dennis at the ski resort. The problem is he never shows up. Kim Jong-un, I guess, decides not to show up because of how drunk Dennis has been the entire time and he wants to save face. Like he wants to, you know, preserve whatever integrity he has left. Anyway, the point is at the- Fucking motherfucker. Is this it?

So let me ask you a question. Just keep it, just keep it bland as hell. That's when he's lecturing the other guys at how to handle this. At the end of the documentary, they say, you know, he actually could have kind of opened up a dialogue with North Korea had he just maintained his sobriety, which is really sad and a weird way true. Who knows? Maybe Dennis Rodman going over there and then playing basketball

and him talking to that guy could have, you know, opened up some kind of relationship. Yeah. Yeah, it could have been this. So right now in this, in the documentary, they met in Beijing. I'm scrolling forward through this thing. They met in Beijing and then they just got to North Korea and they're about to sit down for the dinner. So Dennis, who has continued drinking since the flight, gets things off to an interesting start by holding the sports minister's hand as they walk into the room.

Like they're Saudis. I would like to express my thanks to Mr. Dennis Rodman for his several visits to our country. So that's a pretty, you know, respectful, welcoming gesture, right? Then Rodman, what you can't see is he has gestured everybody to stand up. So I think he's going to take the mic. After a warm welcome from the North Koreans, it's now time for Dennis as the guest of honor to deliver his own momentous speech. I mean, you have to, you have to really understand.

I mean, imagine too that it's not a rehearsal dinner for a wedding. It's not at a bar. This is a state dinner with like all like, you know, officials, top officials, ladies in beautiful dresses. And I think it actually, you know, it doesn't matter what you think of the regime. It's like, at this point, you're representing your country. All these guys are like, you're in it. You're wearing their best clothes and they're being super polite, right?

That's what you're doing. So sorry. Anyway, I want to thank all my guys here from America, former NBA players for coming here. It's very, it's an honor to do what we're doing. That's it. Here we go again with the toast thing. You got a toast, guys.

Tell them to get toast. It's every two minutes. I told you, it's every two minutes. Insulting their toasting. Jesus Christ. Hey, Ben Baker, you want to talk? This is a tremendous opportunity for us as former NBA players to bring basketball here to your country, and we really appreciate the opportunity.

And we hope that this is something special that will last the lifetime for you and your families as well. Normal. Yeah, really good speech. Good job. You'll notice that Dennis made no mention of we're happy to be here. He was like, it's an honor for us. Yeah, it's a me, me, me, my, my, my.

And then he whistles at the beginning of it. So whatever we've heard about North Korea is in the past. We are here for our eyes to see. We are here because we want it to be here. We are here at your invitation. And we are looking very forward to playing the match against the North Korea senior team. And I think it's going to be a great entertainment. Dennis just lit up a cigarette at the.

So crazy. He's so out of his mind. Here's your favorite part. So she's singing. Traditional. Sure. Welcome to our country. Now that the formalities are out of the way, the night can begin.

But Dennis, as ever, the life and soul of the party. As ever, please Irish. Hey guys, watch this bullshit. I forgot that he said that. Watch this bullshit. Wow. Wow, she's performing. Wow.

Watch this bullshit. And she's like in a traditional Korean dress. Like she's real. This is her big moment. Wow, it's so sad. It's so sad. It's so inappropriate. I think I would have passed out back.

Watch this bullshit. This is the best thing I've ever heard of my life. Hey guys. Watch this dumb bitch sing. Watch this bullshit. It's so rude. It's so rude. She's probably been practicing for weeks.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, the night can begin. But Dennis, as ever, the life and soul of the party. Hey guys. Watch this bullshit. So what he did there was he made that like professor guy take a mic who didn't want one and was like you sing and dance with her. In other words, interrupt her performance.

Right. For my amusement. Yes. And then it was like, hey, watch this bullshit. It's so rude. It's so unspeakably rude. Watch this bullshit. It's upsetting actually how rude he is to her and to the whole thing.

It is very mortifying. It's really crazy. Hey guys. Watch this bullshit. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Watch this. He's having the guy in the locker. Yeah.

Yeah, he's basically like, you get up there and do that ching chong shit. Uh huh. Yeah. Oh my god. So he's having the guy in the locker. Yeah. Yeah, he's basically like, you get up there and do that ching chong shit. Uh huh.

Yeah. Here's one fuck it. Fuck it. Okay. I live. Oh my god. So drunk. The life that's full.

It's not karaoke. It's not karaoke. Too full. Too full. Too full. Too full. He's walking around and they're all, they all know how bad it is. Like all the players are shaking their heads.

Dennis gets more unruly as the evening wears on. But no one seems particularly concerned. Not even the North Korean dignitaries. He got to stay, he got to stay too. He got to stay, he got to stay. Look who you want, he'll put it right over here. Oh my god, we got guys over here doing that. But that all changes when Dennis gets into a conversation with Matt Cooper.

An Irish journalist traveling with the group who intends to write a book about Dennis's trip. Dennis knew all about Cooper's plans, but all of a sudden he's not happy. No, no, wrong. Why? And just what? Are you begging of something? Really? Yes, you are.

Do I need you? He's spitting. Hell no. Write your book now, since you know everything, right? Let him tell you what's really gone on. What? This part, I don't even understand what he's mad at. Well, he's drunk.

Gibberish. Yeah, the guy who was probably fully cleared and like he knew that the guy was accompanying, he was just like, you write a book now? And you just see the guys like this, he's like, That's the thing is everyone's kind of used to it. All of his friends that accompanied him are just like, yep, that's Dennis, he's an asshole. He's a huge asshole. He's ruining dinner for everybody.

Do you notice the piano player in the background? The piano player is continuing just to be like, Of course, I'm sure they're all like, what's going on? Clearly like the switch hit on the booze, you know, somebody will have the switch and like. Really? See, in his mind, I can almost see through it. In his mind, because he's drunk and he knows everyone has this perception of North Korea, right now he's standing up for North Korea.

But he's drunk, so he can't really articulate. He's like, really? A book about North Korea? No book. No book. He can't even get his thoughts out. And that's a tragedy of this whole trip is that he could have actually done a decent job of it had he been more articulate, like had he actually been able to get his thoughts out

in a coherent manner in front of the press. That's too bad. The intentions were good, actually. I wish I had more of the stuff. There's some really funny drug moments for him. Oh, he's out of his gourd. So crazy. Well, but that was my favorite one.

Watch the ship. Watch this bullshit. In this documentary, which is called Big Bang and Pyongyang, it has basically all the footage before and after that interview. So you get to see the camera that's in the room with them as he's like, wow, wow, wow, watch this. You know, that's the thing we used to keep playing. Jesus, man.

Out of his mind. And they're all trying to help him. The players actually tried to organize that he wouldn't be in the room for it, but he was like, I'm the ball thing that I'm the reason that we're here. He's so troubled. I can't imagine what's happened to him. Yeah, they say they show that when he got back and, you know, when Kim Jong-un didn't show up because he was so drunk,

when he got back, he checked in to rehab immediately. Yeah, well, it's time. He's yelling at this whole party. The banquet. Yeah. And all the players are looking around. So mortifying. Oh my God.

Oh, there's just one thing. But who hasn't had a friend or family member like this? The orchestra in the room is painful for everyone. And despite it being all smiles at the end of the night, what will Kim Jong-un think when word gets back to him? Wow, it's incredible. It's embarrassing. Yeah, it's pretty embarrassing.

That's what it's like to have a drunk in the family. Man. Yeah, they're all used to it. That's the best part. All the other players are like, that's fucking Dennis. Being an asshole. Just ruining everything for everybody. All right.

Fucking dick. Yeah, he's such a dick in this. So bad. It's sad because I think he is a nice per... I think that he's a decent guy. He's well-attachable. I know, I think so. And he's probably a sweet person and he's just so troubled.

He's so troubled. He needs so much help. He's been on Celebrity Rehab. I watched him with Dr. Drew, you know? Yeah. It's just, he's so far gone. He's not, it's not good. It's not good.

He's going to die soon. All right. Well. Well, on that note. I hope you see us in Montreal. I hope I see you in many other places. But as always, thank you for listening to our show. It's good going.

I got a pack for tomorrow. We got to hang in the dogs. We got to eat dinner. We got to go, man. We got to put their dog jeans on. Yeah. We love you guys. Love you, mommies.

Thanks for listening. And we didn't get to do a top dog's proper intro. So we'll go out on a top dog song. Okay. Good call. All right. Bye, guys. Bye, meow.

This is an out-of-body experience, okay? That's what we do. This is an out-of-body experience, okay? Absolutely exciting, you know? That's what we do. That's what we do. This is an out-of-body experience, okay? This is absolutely exciting, you know?

This is absolutely exciting, you know? This is absolutely exciting, you know? This is an out-of-body experience, okay? This is an out-of-body experience, okay?