Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 314-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 22, 2015

When you smell those jeans is when I feel the strongest. Those and of course grey sweatpants.  We missed you and this episode is almost a day late, but we promise that it's worth it. Of course there's porn being played in various California Target stores, but of course the Mommies have a good plan on how this rascal can up his game.  Plus more fun sex audio and rap songs that are simply delightful.  But we know why you're here this week and quite simply, yes, we have Diego AKA Thursday Lane and people are eager to help him smell man butt for hours and hours. It's all in these Jeans.     

The only thing I'm the only time I kind of want a man is the only time I want I want a man I'm sorry white guys, but I'm addicted to y'all farts I'm addicted to y'all smells and I'm addicted to which y'all No matter what y'all eat when y'all fart and just come out the road I Want a group of white guys this part of my face. Yes, I would love to lick your butthole, please Please please For my face. I would love to lick your butthole

So many to give You have the line here. I like to think your chicken cream beautiful guffees Beautiful guffees. If you have red hair, I like to think of you as spicy cream beautiful guffees beautiful guffees beautiful guffees beautiful guffees Please please The sound with mayonnaise and ranch on it and luncheon eat on it chocolate noose crusty flaky Chucky top got these the cream tastes and a cream smell marshmallow or something Crumbled honey

A nice roasted dark turkey the others had that mayonnaise cream tastes I like to die for beef cream a nice light Darts leaf herpes honey garlic caramel and gravy to get right right and cream to go on a great Get your life I kind of wish I could fart in this guy's face Farts farts farts. Yeah, dudes can just Farts farts farts farts farts farts Like I said, like I said, like I said, I had a guy 300 pounds one time sit on my face Like I said, like I said, like I said, like I said, these fart masters of the world are like ninjas

Beautiful guffees beautiful guffees Please please Beautiful guffees beautiful guffees Please please Bicy cream Bicy cream chicken cream These cream Bicy cream Bicy cream silver trout cream

Please trout cream beef cream chicken cream We did this for luck. Yeah Man, yeah, that was a son of nothing with so good the song chicken creams Oh my gosh, son of nothing. Well done. I think you're a son of something You did a good job sir. Beautiful guppies beautiful guppies guppies Hey, I didn't know that you had to be strong for a 300 pound person to sit on your face You didn't think I had anything to do with strength. Yeah, I've never had anybody sit on my face before

So does it require you hold them up? I don't know we can we can work on that tonight if you want you want to try it That's a good visual right Me and sitting on your face I'm so afraid of it. Why it's not gonna hurt Terrifying everything's fine It's so hot and steamy and you're in your crack I Just had a most incredible run

five shows Five cities Five days Oklahoma City Houston Dallas Austin and San Antonio It was so much fun Thanks to all the genes that came out I really appreciate it. You guys are the dogs tits for real

Nobody says that. Yeah, they do nobody says that Yeah, like it's a common phrase and it's not I'm pretty sure it is beautiful get beautiful guppies. So thank you for making that really a blast I can't wait to come back, you know, definitely be back to all those cities. So you guys really made it worth it Thanks so much. It was a lot of fun. Here's what I have coming up There's not much left for the rest of the year jeans because you're gonna be home with me I am our baby jeans for baby jeans to get here. But here's what I have less. I have Orlando November 3rd

Tampa tampon The November 4th and fart lotterdale November 5th, then the very next day November 6th. I fly to Buffalo, New York And I do five shows at helium comedy club in Buffalo and then I'll be in New York and It's all leading up to my big show at the Skirball Center in New York City November 13th. That's a scary day. It's Friday the 13th. I'm doing the Skirball Center So please grab your jeans and a friend and come to that show and then finally November 14th the John

Lyman Center for the Performing Arts in New Haven, Connecticut Then I'm home all the way till New Year's Eve and that's when I do some shows at the Brea improv Here in Southern, California And then I don't I don't go out again till sometime in January. I have some shows then but that's it for now So please go to Tom Segura comm Shows the shows page and there are links to all those shows. Thank you so much jeans. What do you got? Right improv October 29th one night only I'm doing the 8 p.m. Show. I'm headlining it. So I'll do an hour come see me at the Brea improv, please

Please please please also check out that's deep bro if you're interested in My other podcast I do alone mostly and this week Talking about why people suck. It's like the death of humility and and how it got to the point where there's just 20 year old guys like you heard this guy Tyler Oakley by the way He is a YouTube guy. Yeah, it's all it is is like I just want to be myself And you're like, wait, no one's telling you not to bro Like it's this whole cult of me me me me me and he's saying a lot of nothing

It's a lot of people who want attention and they're saying a lot of nothing. Hmm interesting. So peep it out. That's deep bro That's deep bro Big episode right now jeans big mama, so Are you ready to pull your jeans up? They're already up over my eyes. I can't even see where I am All right. Well, we had to delay this because I travel today, but We're ready to do this. Let's go. Let's go But never least I love guys and jeans if you wear jeans I loved that means you want me to have a fart or would you would you wear you smell where I smell your fart?

And other guys farts. I'm gonna show you these jeans and if any guys wear jeans. Let me know How many guys farts would you want me smell as I smell your farts? See look at these jeans See Don't bring anyone loving to this With Tom Segura Christina I Wow

I think we recorded that really loud. I didn't realize it. Why I turned my Well, I only I'm looking at the shit. We can love it. Yeah, it'll it'll bounce out later. Wow Whoops whoopsie tupsie. I didn't know that Diego was that interested in gene farts and that's I know and it also just kind of points to This match being made in heaven even more It's so we've been marveling at the Diego phenomenon. That's really happened this last week with your mom's house listeners It started his video started off with a measly 71 views and now we're at 18,400 views called the mom effect. Yeah

So it's yeah, that one video the other one had 27 views and it has 6200 views Some people have questioned the mom effects It's important to point it out the ME if you will social media ME Yeah, the mom's went to look for sure. I'm so glad you're home. I missed you this week me too jeans. That's a Tough life the city the city every day thing. I can only imagine. I know I've done it a few times in my life It's really hard But on the upside you're not sitting in a hotel room every day

Yeah, it's kind of like it does it does like make every show like really exciting sometimes when you do Five and six show weekends. You get that you get bored of the you know the same Yeah, like it's the same room and the same hotel and you don't know it like you walk out the front door And you're like, oh god, but like when you change cities every day it kind of makes it it kind of makes it exciting It's worse. Yeah, it's like I'm that Louis CK episode where he's on the road and the guy picks him up Remember. Oh, he's like New York City. What's that like? I don't know like every place is it's all the same. He's like traveling. It's like going to the toilet I just have to do it. I don't enjoy

Yeah, I remember the guys like what's it like man, then he feels badly and he's like, you know, it's like And he tells him like he tells him the cool. He's like Man, cool. He's like, yeah last week Billy Burr was here and we went out drink. It was awesome. He's like, yeah I can't do that Well, cuz that's that's what they tell you Every time you arrive at a comedy club whoever picks you up loves to tell you who was there before you And how much fun they are. Yeah What a good time it was and they partied and they sold out every show and now you're here and you're like, yeah

What can you clean your palate for me asshole? They always tell you that and they always tell you like You know, it's just so much fun to be around that other person. Yeah It's a party. Can you believe so so and so took a shirt off or you know So and so got naked and you're like, yeah Yeah, that's cool Well, I guess I'm just a boring fuck married boring fuck who's professional. What do you just like what are you doing after? That's my favorite. That's my favorite. I'm probably just gonna go back to the hotel. Why? Because shit fuck town and there's it's the same shit to do everywhere by the way

Even if it's a great sound though in great town. I know what are you gonna do? You're gonna go to a bar. You're gonna pick up chicks. You're gonna get laid. I know once you're not chasing puss It's like what's the point? I know I went out in Austin to a couple places But that because I wanted to hang out with my friend Lukash Well, you have friends and Austin you've been to enough that you've come yeah comedy friends But that was like the only place and that was only because of him It really wasn't because I wanted to hang out at place to crush how many phone numbers did you get this week? Like four but like none of them are gonna pan out

You know Do you find that women are more attracted to you now that you're about to be a dad and like your married guy? Is that married guy thing true like once you have the ring on chicks are like yeah, maybe the married thing But like not nothing about like oh really? Yeah Well when you got when you first get married you feel like I swear to you This is like going back six seven years, but it's like the week after you're married Women are like what's up? You wanted to hang out and you're like I got married last week. Oh, well, I mean I'd lick your butthole if you were available

What the fuck That's that's the week after you get married effect, but No, I think um well because we have a lot of fans that come to shows I find that ever since I've announced that we're gonna have a kid women are like They're like maternal to me No, after that. So they're like we're so and they give you like really genuine like looks and like care good I like that. Yeah, they're not like oh fucking

I fuck a single it doesn't happen unless you cream pie for it's $50. Oh, yeah, I mean it's I was laying in bed thinking about hooker math last night just laughing to myself people love hooker math Because we were in uh, we were at the pharmacy getting our Flu shots And you notice the plan b was up there. There's two different price ranges Yeah, yeah, because you know in that in the doc they're talking about the $40 one But I noticed there's $10 more So I put it on instagram and I encourage

People that are working doing cream pies to make sure they think charge that extra 10 bucks I'm not just working women, but dads to encourage their daughters to charge the right rate for Charge the right rate for and if you're doing a double cream pie, you should get 220 You know double now Does that mean that two guys at once are cream pine or just to that day separate? It's usually back to back What do you what do you mean not same time but like one guy sure and then another in the same session I'm saying. Yeah, I think it would usually be the same session. Yeah Now is that as a man? Is that appealing to you to ejaculate where a man has just ejaculated personally?

No, but I'm sure that some people's like absolute favorite. Sure. You know sure. Yeah, I mean like Enough of that exists As far as content where you know that it's a big it's a thing It's definitely a thing like once you have your own category important, you know enough people are interested Yeah Yeah, yeah once how how many clicks does it take you think? Your category On a tube sign, but those those multiple creams you you see multiple creams

That's absolutely a favorite thing because there's a lot of that and it's like guys lining up And one after the other, you know, yeah, just one guy What's that what you think I like it. Yeah, that's enthusiasm. Yeah, he was really Crazy Wait, how many guys that's an all-time? That's the awesome. That's a lot of sounds the easiest one It's like five guys a lot. Is that and that kind of not in that kind of thing. No, I think it's more like 20 guys Yeah, 20 or more. Yeah

And like a seven minute video. I don't know how long the video is but I I remember seeing like Lines and stuff, you know, but if you're charging a hundred dollars per guy, it's not about oh at that point You wouldn't be getting that though, you know, I think you get an all-inclusive price two furs or yeah It's like sandals vacations, you know, it's all It's the buffet. Yeah, and you you know, but you get drinks and well drinks only well drinks But you know all the soda you want Oh, where's the refills? Definitely refills. Yeah Now we got a great breakfast here too

great So Yeah, you just pay that one time fee and then maybe 25 30 guys will just kind of Is that real? Yeah, yeah, there's a video with it. What's he look like? Um, he looks like he's uh I don't know. I think he's brazilian or something, you know, you know Yeah, he looks latino look at your tribe. Yeah, yeah, he really got off of that this is intense Why don't you ever do that when we I've done I've done interesting noises before not like that, but I have my own

Do you think I have my own like style you do? Yeah You do I'm not gonna discuss it on the air though. I mean you can do you're free to discuss it You know what I noticed by the way didn't get to tell you this my fart earlier God, I noticed that in uh, north carolina um women Speaking of approached me multiple times different times of the year And told me that they looked my butthole. Oh, right that that old hat. Yes that old offer and in texas. It was all guys

Had like four or five different guys in different cities. Well, you know what they say about texas. Yeah only steers and queers Yep, but guys were very very clear. Well, they good-looking guys and girls Yes, Carolina attractive. Yes. Actually, yes. People you would take up the offer. Yeah, for sure. Really? Absolutely. Really? Absolutely. I don't believe you. I'm I'm promising you. I promise you How would you arrange this would you be like, okay? Like you would you take them in line and you'd be like, okay? How many people here are here to lick my asshole and then like 50 people raise your hand and you go, okay you you you you I'm in room 25

Whatever at the hillton. Are you talking about 10 minutes? Let's go At like one of my shows. Yeah, how are you gonna do this green room green room? Oh in the green room. Yeah And then they what I do is I tell the staff I go Hey, walk them back to the green room in like a few minutes And then what I would do is I would go in the green room and on the couch I would get on all fours with my butt facing the door. That's what I was gonna ask. Yeah, and then so when they Knock on the door and come in they walk in what they see Is the butt facing them like you don't even get down. You don't do introductions. You don't do

Well, yeah, I I think you go rocks like I heard the old rock star groupie thing is like Hey, you're here for For a purpose, right? It's not chit chat. We don't want to do small talk, right? It's you get down to business, right? So When you come in There's a butthole waiting But you're not even gonna offer her a beer. No refreshments. Maybe after wash it down. That's what i'm saying Well, that's after though because you've just you've just done two shows your assholes all sweat

You know how it is when you're done with shows you go the hotel you pull your pant It smells like a fucking garbage tank. Jesus. What is your ass? It's horrifying because I usually what I would do is eat mozzarella sticks before I perform and then I'll have raging diarrhea You're making me fucking sick right now You don't do you don't have fucking swamp ass at the end of the night. It depends. It's not every night. No Really? Yeah, you for sure. I would No, you should like five times today already. No, I didn't you came home this morning and you're like, I go to shit Yeah, and then when you're playing with the dogs, you're like, oh, I got a shit again

Yeah, but I got a shit. They were normal shits So you're on all fours. Yeah, so it's like come on in and then how long does each person get? Well, I don't know. I think it kind of depends on their level of enthusiasm too, you know I mean, I think for some of them it might be like a novelty thing where they just go like You know like they're not serious takers, right? They go. I did it and then I'm sitting there on all fours Naked looking back. I'm like, excuse me You said you were And they're like, well, I did it like now check it off the the bucket list, you know

Well, you don't want to just be somebody's bucket list. Do you that's what I'm trying to say So when you say that like how long I'm hoping that there's a real commitment Yeah, that I'm that someone's going to go there and have a little dessert, you know, right You're not even gonna do like a wipe back there. Yes. Yes, of course Well, that's why I told the the staff guy give me five ten minutes and how do you clean? I go in the bathroom there and I get like I would take hot water On paper towels with soap, you know, like give it a give it a cleansing like a horse bath. Yeah Okay

Yeah, it's considerate of you, but then like I said no games Right, don't come in here and yeah, you know, what'd you do today? Hey? Yeah Get to licking. Yeah Yeah Wow That's like a whole other genre too. Oh, does that have a lane in pornography? Which one? Astolics, of course, just straight ass looking them nothing else. Yeah for sure

Chilling I don't know how and and they have a whole genre both ways Yeah, yeah both ways like girls looking guys asses and guys. That's horrendous girls looking guys. I know My favorite thing I think my favorite thing about that is you getting upset about how disgusting it's so disgusting It's so disturbing. One lady told me I think it was this. Oh, there was this weekend with you a couple It's always couples by the way. This is never a solo thing Couples came through they took a picture And they came back at the end

Like so they wait they went by through the line a second time um, she goes I just wanted to tell you I'd lick your butthole and also Um It is kind of my thing like that's kind of my main move That's not I swear to god a woman said that yes A woman that has a a mate. Yes. There was a couple. I remember they were tall. Were they normal? Yeah Yeah, nice looking couple Okay, yeah

Like they were nice normal people. Mm-hmm. Okay And they just I don't I don't believe it. But sure I I kind of have to see it to believe it I just I don't I just don't I don't believe that there's like a ton of women out there I don't know. I can't I can't round my hair. You know some women out there are pretty freaky, you know You know Yeah You sent me that I did a listener submitted. I thought that'd be in your lane in my lane

I batch all the porno submissions together and I let you go through Yeah, I know because I don't have the patience to find the one second of funny like you do You can watch 45 minutes of porn and find the one thing where the guy yells for five minutes and you're like, that's the gold That's the minute we're gonna put on the show. Yeah, I don't have that kind of time Man I like the homemade video quality, that's my favorite part too Yeah, at least they went for it, you know, you got to make a video. Yep. You want people to know who you are I bet my buddy could direct a really cool video for these people

Do you want to set them up together? I could probably set up a meeting. Yeah, he's he's directed a lot of music videos Right. This is a perfect fit, right match made in heaven match made in heaven man. Hey jeans You know how on the internets they always have like these fucking horseshit days Well, they're like today's pet the kitten day. Yes, of course hug your puppy like that's not a fucking national doughnut day You know, it's not no, it's not but today I guess is the back to the future day Oh, really? It was like program. I'm assuming programmed into the car the today is the day They go to the future What do you mean programmed into the car like into the DeLorean, right?

This is it's it's what's the october 20 second 20 that marty mcfly or whatever the doctor is supposed to be wearing crazy hats and yeah and having hoverboards And stuff we do have driftboards Oh, yeah, huh? Do you think we could go back a time and fix shaky jeans with disease? Um, no No, god That's awful. Do you think someone told him that today?

Somebody has to tweet that shit She's like, hey, buddy. I bet you wish you could fix your park. I met with the uh I met with the people um the producers of the shaky jeans show. Yeah. Oh you did. Yeah. Oh fuck And we were talking all about, you know, whatever different things and then We talked about that show and I go because then they brought up my stand-up and I go um, oh shit are you guys Uh, cool with my shaky jeans jokes And they go actually yes, and they said

And he would have had he would have the best sense of humor about it. They said he's like very You know, he's not uptight about it at all. Well, yeah, he did a tv show about it So he must be. Oh, right. Well, he did the shaky jeans show. Yeah Savages yeah, yeah, no, I know it's that it's said that he has that nobody wanted Michael j fox No, of course not shaky stuff, you know Shaky stuff. There's people I wouldn't mind getting the shaky stuff, but not him He's a nice guy. You wish it upon someone. There's some shitty people that deserve shaky jeans. Yeah, child molesters Oh, okay. Jared from subway. I think he could catch a case of shaking

God, isn't did he molest kids? Yeah, I think all child molesters should have that disease immediately. You just get to have that Mm-hmm. What's his name was right rapists get shaky jeans Uh, yeah, I hear you on that. Um What is the Where's shaky jeans? Where's uh, jared jeans now? I think he's in jail jeans Is he in prison jeans? Yeah, he's in prison jeans I can't believe you don't you look you know that guy. I have his phone number So crazy you could have been jared's messed up cousin

Brother I was bro. It was a brother. Yeah, it was so wild I can't believe he's into kids. I know I've asked this before like did you any idea? He was creepy like that And basically it took 10 years to be As successful as I would have been back then Right took 10 years instant Instant fame. Yeah, which is kind of never good though when you um, when you're in this game long enough You kind of go. Oh, that's not really the way to do it. You don't want to get quick because then it's uh, it's a it's a quick

With his jared jeans shot in the pan Flash in the pan What a horrific guy he turned out to be. Yeah Jesus wow Hey, um, you know what else happened to me today. It's pretty cool. I went to the grocery store Don't move your foot. My foot's on top of your foot. No, I like it on there. Yeah I was leaving the grocery store and um One of the checkout clerks who I stopped clearing your throat. It's a baby thing. It's a pregnancy thing

um on the way out He goes, uh, hey, good luck And I was like, you know meaning my belly and I was like, oh, yeah, thanks And he's like, oh, what do you do? That's the other question everybody I'm just gonna make a t-shirt that says the due date and it's a boy And it's my first like just because that's the same three questions you get asked Anyway, I was like, oh december and he goes you having twins And I was like, I was like, no, but thanks. That's rude. You said that. Yeah, those are some exact words

I said No, but thanks and that's rude like what the fuck is wrong with you. Why would you say that to a pregnant lady? You know, yeah, so offensive. Of course. You have a twin. You're so fat. You're so fucking big Yeah, that's um Fucking prick. It's a second lunatic. That's said that's the second person first time. It was a woman. You know Which just shows you like And I how crazy and I wasn't even that I was like six months back then Yeah, fucking bitch asked me that. No, I know you weren't even really I mean you were showing but it wasn't like crazy

It's embarrassing Like come on. Do you know better than to say that to a pregnant lady, right? Of course. It's mortifying We already don't feel great about ourselves and then you have to fucking say that shit to me Oh, that guy's stupid. Like how old was the guy? It's a dude like a 50 year old dad boner. Yeah, he doesn't know he like a fucking gay mustache too Like it's just not appropriate You know what I mean like mustaches are out bro. Like unless you're what what did he say when you said that's rude I I did what I walked out. I was on the way out

I cut you know, it was one of those things like it was like a knee jerk impulse It was like I was being heckled in my head. Uh-huh. Yeah, so I was like, fuck you. Fuck your mother. I'm out Like I just kept walking. I was like, I can't deal with this guy right now He just made me so angry, you know Yeah, that's that's pretty enraging Yeah, it's not nice That's like someone being like, how fat are you? How much do you weigh? Mm-hmm

Yeah, you're asking you're asking me personally I don't I don't want to know. Do you know how much I weigh? Yeah, do you weigh yourself a lot? Not a lot. No I I don't ever like to It's been good lately. I mean, it's not good my weight I've had good um interactions with people lately People come to shows and they go Oh, you're thinner than I thought you'd be it's nice. I'm like, oh Jesus. Just stop talking now. Yeah I know it's upsetting when people comment on your body. It's like, dude, could you not please like you're fat

But you're not as fast as I thought you'd be Yeah, that's so rude So no, but I mean like that and like when they're like, uh, you look like you've been working. I'm like, thanks And then let's just end it there. Yeah I don't want to hear more. Yeah, don't tell me more about me It wasn't a good weekend for shirts though, you know What do you mean? Like I brought like four shirts this weekend. Yeah, and three of them don't fit well So I did like three of my three or four shows and shirts and I'm like, yeah, this doesn't fit right

You know, and you're like you're like I think I shrunk this one and you know, like I dried a shirt and dryer that I should have I should have just air dried and they start to fit you funky and you're like pulling on your shirt I hear that man. So you're thinking about it the whole time too. I know like, uh now I see fat guys With their fucking bellies that hang out from the undershirt. That's so yeah, that's crazy. You know what I'm saying like The guy that's just walking around and it looks like a tank top and his fat roll hangs out under it Yeah, and I'm like bro. How come I can find a shirt to fit like

I got a huge belly. I don't like fitting wearing ill-fitting shirts Um, but then of course, I mean thankfully I had one Danny's shirt with me Danny and Danny so dumb Sorry, it's not dumb. It's silly that he's like, that's my brand. What happened I moved and then the uh The headphone cable touched my arm and I thought it was something else. I jumped I don't know Oh

Jeans don't be afraid. There's ants on the desk. That's why Um, speaking of pornography by the way This was huge. This happened just after our episode last week or we would have played this obviously immediately This is a lady You can hear her making comments on it. Um shopping At target in Campbell, california It's going on at target right now People are scrambling you see people running really of course stupid

Yeah If you want to suck these titties or fuck these titties, I can't tell which one I would have been so happy to be in the school. Me too. Who did that some employees? We don't know yet Sucker Ah That is crazy, right? So that was I guess Campbell is kind of san jose area um And a lot of shoppers

We're not happy about it. Okay. I'm sure big outrage. So thankfully I believe it's uh k tvu Fox two In san jose followed up. I did a piece on this Target is looking into who has been accessing its store sound system and then blaring profanity laced audio for shoppers So here customers have documented at least three similar incidents Form piped through the speakers at stores all around california including a target in san jose and that's where k tvu's and ruben is live tonight live Well the first of the incidents we found dates back to early april now in each of these cases the audio has been extremely graphic

And extremely difficult for store employees to turn off How at this san jose target off saratoga avenue? It was quite the shock for shoppers I'm like this is not happening. No one What is going on at target right now? Over the sound system the music had been replaced by moaning and what appeared to be x-rated audio Gina young's first reaction was to record it. Her second was to cover the ears of her three-year-old twins Everyone's just like oh my god, and everyone just froze like no one knew what to do I love how she's

She sounds like a total candidate for vocal fry porn girl like do I leave I have groceries like I have my kids like I need diapers. That's why I'm here This appears to be just the latest in a string of similar incidents back on april 3rd A k tvu employee was there as the sounds of sex were broadcast through the coma target on july 10th Newspaper reports describe a similar situation in san luis abispo. This guy is a fucking genius. I know whoever's doing this How's he doing on september 19th the talari target was hit and then october 14th It was san josei shoppers also uploaded video of the talari incident to youtube It's the best this is the best

Wish this would happen to me at target. No shit man. I'm gonna start going to target more with my fingers crossed Jesus I love how the news reports it like they have to sound square about it. Yeah obscene sounds Uh, let me see. Oh money Let's see I've personally never heard those sounds before is this I'm trying to find the talari one talari To is this talari here?

Yeah How is none of the workers like not really like how do the none of the workers like realize this great That's so great if I could offer a critique On this work. Mm-hmm. I wouldn't go for straight porn. I would go for gay male porn. It's well, that's another lovely right here. Yeah, perhaps fart male porn Ha ha ha ha Yeah, I mean come on guys. This is like that's jv squad Uh porn. Yeah. Yeah, let's let if you're gonna do it. Let's go go all the way man. It is um

Yeah I think the the that should be the next level, right? Yeah Oh Two guys When I say sit on it sit all the way down. Yeah, like her super suit. Oh my god Like bears dungeon sex. That's what I want to hear. That'll be so much better. Oh my god, you're right Wow Yeah

Are you thirsty? I want to breath So much better already You're in the aisle You're getting your paper towels. Oh, you suck me dry That's so much better. Look here. Oh, are you? Come on if you're thirsty Did you see yourself walking down the aisle? Oh my god, I would have a seizure. I would laugh so hard

Because here's the beauty of that clip versus traditional pornography. Yeah, is that it would take a while to register? People will be like, what am I hearing? Yeah, is this the new fucking john mayor? So what is this? Like it would take it would take probably till the end of the clip for people to be like, oh my gosh, this is This is obscene. This is very obscene. Yeah, because you know people Or just if somebody just cut together a bunch of uh, yoshi audio and play with it there I eat the ass and pussy all the time. I got nothing. Jews are funny Like what what is this jimmy kim? The reason I like jerking off while licking my Having a girl licking my balls from my angle while she's licking my balls. I'm punching her fucking stupid face

So many problems Oh my god, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Now that's see that's good. Yeah That's good. Yeah. No the uh, the gaze Yeah, it's hilarious It'd be pretty great, right? Because it's confusing at first. You're not sure You want to confuse people and then they go, oh my Yes, sir. Because they don't know. Yeah Um, let's see the rest of this piece viral for what does it have to be this and while she recorded just 30 seconds

She says the incident lasted more than 15 minutes. Oh my 15 minutes unsuccessfully to turn the sound system off People were grabbing them by their arms and yelling at them and they were like, I'm so sorry We're trying everything we can we can't figure out how to turn it off, but we're trying Target says they are Very seriously young says she doesn't blame the store just wishes they could have stopped the sounds sooner I feel really awful for the company. Um It's just it was just an awkward situation. Oh, you know what it sounds like In the San Luis Obispo incident the store was actually evacuated

Evacuate we noticed nothing is being broadcast on the sound system today And this the reporter has vocalized to that. She knows she's sounding like she's sounding like honestly He was like, yeah to a new evacuate the store hilarious. There's too much porn in here right now evacuate But I like it she's like it took 15 minutes then leave if you don't want your kids to hear it Yeah, leave. She's like I have like groceries leave diapers and like what am I gonna do? 15 minutes is incredible and also How do you not know like how can you not turn off your sound? Yes Not one fucking nerd is on the whole staff and knows how to turn the sound off

Somebody sabotaged them in multiple locations. Yeah, but are they then are they sabotaging them remotely? They must be maybe Maybe they found a way. I don't know when I was at the target at the sarah shopping center in coma back in april That graphic audio went in for seven minutes not 15 but seven minutes and that was long enough Didn't actually sound like to me that it was a recording the woman mentioned target specifically and was actually taunting employees with her Location saying I'm back in electronics and things like that But my question is did targets say if they think that this is being done actually at the stores themselves Or if someone outside is hacking into the system Target's being very tight-lipped about how this is happening since it is an ongoing investigation

However, we did mention your incident to the manager. Just so he knew about the specifics of that which he said was interesting They said this incident appeared to be a recording almost on a loop and that there was a rap music interlude somewhere in the middle Nerd back to the pornographic audio boy. I have to say though. It was definitely shocking when I was there Um, I'm sure you're very shocked. Oh my gosh. How will you continue through your day? So somebody's custom-making The pornography someone's customizing it. That's what's going on. That's kind. That's fucking amazing. That's kind man I hope we figure out who it is so we can Oh

This would be great audio for target Yes, sir Now see Could somebody get the target porn person this audio Because that would be great. I'm just offended that it's such a heteronormative Clip that they're using. Are you? Heterophobic I am heterophobic. I am I'm protrans. I'm pro gay. I'm pro all these alternative fart lifestyles and we're they're not represented here

And you know, I just feel like Um, I feel like like I don't count, you know, I just feel like uh, it's really kind of sad I'm proud to have come out as polyamorous and now I'm excited to share that I'm bisexual I I'm going to fluid bond with jesse Fluid bond. Yeah, jesse. That's the kind of audio target needs guys. Yeah, let's get creative. Come on Good I do feel bad for the people with their little kids and stuff because they didn't ask for that

Yeah, I'm trying to think of a better establishment that they could do that in that would be funnier for me Like where do we hate? It's got to be somewhere that people just hate Like the dmv that would be pretty funny Yeah Uh, I'd like that Dude, the dmv would go crazy. The other thing about good something about that being in an enclosed space would make it Crazier because targets are enormous, you know, they have like 30 foot ceilings or they're like warehouses But dmv those can be pretty small

Yeah, any government building really because they're just such hell to go. That's the move porn person Go there go there go to the social security office. That place is a nightmare too. Yeah God damn I remember when I changed my name when we got married that was a fiasco. We have to go to social security get a new card Oh, by the way, how do you feel about this? I want your pay on this So there was a interview this week in a locker room um In the the bangles locker room actually after a game

and They're interviewing adam pac-man jones and Some players were naked in the background walking to the locker room and stuff and one of the players afterwards said that he was like Really, he was like, you know, why why the fuck do we allow this? Why do you guys get to come in our locker room? Uh while we're changing i'm at work basically

because it's considered like the norm, but It's never allowed with female athletes Right. So like male athletes, they just have to deal with reporters and everybody in their locker room But female athletes get The privacy the privacy and and to be changed and decent before they see the press That's interesting. Well, you know, obviously we're more protective of women just because Dudes don't generally don't get raped and sexually assaulted. Yeah, so maybe there's something in that But I'm sure there's something in that but I was saying too that like

Why do these guys have to be nude in front of people if they don't want to be well the male body is Way funnier. First of all, it's less of a threat No, I agree though. You should have your dignity. Why can't you have your drawers on when you're interviewing? I don't know why they should go into the locker room and yeah, fuck off. Get out of here Get the fuck out of here. Jack their dicks in front of the camera. I'm really here Yeah, there's been a few in the last couple of years dicks on camera Good and then people would get like, oh my god. It was like, well, then that's what you get Yeah, you went to the house of the dicks. Yeah to the dicks place

And then now you're upset that you saw dicks It is interesting that that that they started doing that like it's an absurd notion to me to go into the locker room Where there's naked guys everywhere. Yeah, and like, hey, how did you feel about the game? Yeah, and dixon are just flying around I know yeah, it's our private space. It doesn't seem fair for like a guy like me I would feel very I'd be like, oh man. I gotta cover this little guy because you got such a big Oh, no, I got such a little guy Yeah, I gotta cover that little guy up But there's all black guys usually on this team. There's a lot of them. Yeah, you would be definitely make you feel smaller

It's already small now. It feels like it's fucking jv squad This is so crazy. Yeah, that's a good point. I'm just kind of sad Yeah, you guys kind of get fucked on lots of stuff just because you're dudes Well, that whole thing. I mean, I just really do feel like Look, I I wouldn't make it. It's not a national There doesn't need to be a march for this, but it's like I think that like as just a grown man You should be able to be like, hey, do you can I shower and change before I?

See strangers in here. It's not fair. I mean, I'm saying like listen I'm a total feminist, but I think it's not fair that you guys get sent to fight wars like they just send you guys off like cattle to get shot and killed and Like ships and stuff right women and children first if the ship is going down. Oh, yeah, for sure You guys get the shaft on that. You guys are more expendable. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, it's not cool at all Well, not if I'm on that ship that you're gonna push over some women and children for sure Well, yeah, fuck fuck them, right I jump on one of those

life rafts and then be like, hey, hand me the kid Now you come on and then I push other people off and then I You know Do you want to hear some dad jokes? We got submitted some dad jokes. Are you ready? um Okay, go for it I'm ready Yeah, hold on. Shit. Okay. This one was submitted by Mike

Culp he goes anytime I do something smart my dad says Wow, you're a smart fella. I mean, I mean, no, no, I should I fucked it up. Jesus That was the ultimate dad move. Yeah, I know. Wow, you're a fart smeller. I mean smart fella Fuck I fucked that up and I really like that one actually Okay I don't mind that Okay, there's another one by Mike Whenever the girl at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag

He replies. No, just leave it in the carton. Okay It's like It's a good one. I like that one. It's a good one. Yep. It's a real good one. There you go Those are a couple of dad jokes a couple of good dad jokes Chris writes in uh, we know chris more cut. He says hey tina Why do I never hear pregnant women say I'm shitting for two or maybe I'm browning for two. It's a good. It's a good Yeah, I like it. It's a really good point. Thank you for bringing that up. It's a really thought-provoking idea Yeah, it is I should be saying that I'm farting for two. I'm shitting because women say I'm eating for two

Sure, but what what about on the way out? I'm browning for two. He's right. Actually I am I'm browning and pissing for two It's pretty uh Wow, what a game changer. Wow What is this here that says tom's favorite song Tom's new favorite song on this document. What is that? Oh, I think Did we already play it smart? Yeah, I think so That's the cool video. No, this is a new one. Yeah, okay. Well, there you go. Yeah

Oh You love it. Look at you smiling. I do like it I like it I'm taking Excellent. Yeah, excellent work. There you go. That's your new favorite jam. I got to send this to my director friend submitted Listener submission. There you go. Yep. This is really good. Yeah, you're welcome Thank you No, hon. I'm sending this to him right now. I don't want to forget. Are you serious? Yeah, you really are. Yeah

Why don't send it to him. Why? I'm saying did you direct this? That's not very nice Oh, jeez. He'll like it. He'll definitely like it. I know him. Believe me. Oh, jeez um, well, I mean Should we there's there's a lot of stuff to get to but I think we should address, you know, whatever one wants to talk about don't you think? Yeah I'd love to. I mean here we are acting like it's not even happening

And it's happening Last week Probably one of the biggest moments in the history of the show um We discover Diego aka thursday lane. Um, that's his Preferred stage name, by the way. Oh, I didn't I wasn't aware of that. Yeah. Yeah on youtube. That's his Well, he just his mansion did a couple times. He wants his working name to be thursday lane. Sure. That's a cool name actually

It's cool. Um And then today we find that he puts up a jeans video Um, you know, and I feel like that was uh, he was influenced by some of our listeners. There's so many jeans comments Yeah, so many jeans comments See Yeah, but if any guys if any guys wear jeans because I love jeans Ask me I got a question

How many guys parts you want me to smell? How many guys parts as long as you how many guys parts you want me to smell? Why smell your farts if any guys wear jeans? That's a complicated question You know, what's so great about this is that It's like everything that your mom's house listeners are interested in all converging at one amazing point Well, we also learned some other stuff this um last week and that one of the things we learned was that You know, there really is a great community out there. Um Community of what babe? Well, here's the thing, uh

When we put it out there that we wanted to help this guy we we gave out his phone number, which he said was okay And then it kind of it went on it was in reddit and then people were talking about it there Obviously the view count, you know picked up significantly I got a message from somebody who works in the adult business Who said I'm trying to make a listen to the show And we're trying to make Diego's dream happen and so great. We both flipped out

And well now we want to know what's going on. So let's Take a pause here for a second Let's get this lovely person on the line Can I see something to the listeners know when Tom and I make phone calls? I can't ask them questions because you're going to in this one. Can I do that? Yeah. Yeah, you're going to Have to move over to anything. Okay. Just relax. Okay. All right Um

So yes, we're gonna give it working down the gun the phone. We'll pick this up here in a second And we're recording here So Hello, hi is Bridget there This is she Hi Bridget. Hey Bridget. It's Tom and Christina. Hi mommy. How are you? I'm wonderful. How are you? Great. Can you hear us? I can you're on speakerphone. I'm here with my co-worker D

Hi, hi D Hi, how are you doing? We're doing great. We're doing great. Um, just so excited. Yeah, we're very excited to talk to you And I wanted to make sure we we get this right for the audience and you get you work Bridget at For hot movies for her.com. Is that correct? I do It's hot movies.com and then it's the umbrella site for hot movies for her and gay hot movies.com Kind of all combined and the the site. I mean from what I can tell you guys Um, you know, you write

Reviews there's blogs and is it also is it a subscription based? site It's paid per minute. So you buy packages of minutes at roughly 10 cents a minute Um And just pay what you need and then is the is the hot movies for her. Uh, it sounds like it's geared more Towards women like women's needs or I love it. Yes. Yes, uh Geared towards like the feminist porn watcher. Oh, I'm gonna. Well, I'm gonna check it out. That's wonderful. That's awesome That is so we're so excited. Um, we've just been talking about this on the show for the last couple minutes that

How, you know, we were so thrilled to get your message initially that you heard last week's episode And yeah, you reached out and said I am actually reaching out to Diego Myself to try to help him make his dream come true Um, we were just like I said overwhelmed and now I this is the first time That we're talking. I want to know, you know, what happened. How did things develop for you? Um, so we gave him a call me my co-worker Corey and Jesse. Uh, we got together And you know, his phone number's out there. We decided to give him a ring See if he wanted to meet up for an interview and he was so excited

He said it was like his birthday Christmas and Thanksgiving wrapped up all in one Yeah, yeah, I've I've never seen that kind of enthusiasm, but yes Yeah, and so You know, uh, monday came around we called him just to double check make sure everything was good with him and We were set to meet at four o'clock and at four o'clock he called and he was like, I'm so sorry. I'm running late I'll be right there And he got in and gave us all hugs before even like getting our name

So he's really so he showed up. Thank god. You had us worried there. Yeah, I was I was worried Dreams almost didn't come true. Okay. So then you did actually you met with him. I can tell you he reads as a very sweet person How did it go? How did the interview go? Well, it he's a talker. Um, we tried keeping him on topic as much as possible, but he really liked explaining his different categorization Yes different farts

You know, we have your your chicken cream your beef cream. Yeah barbecue buffalo spicy cream And the beautiful guppies. Yeah, silver trout cream. Yeah, beautiful guppies He showed us a actual charts that he drew and um, oh, you got to personal artwork. You got to see those in person Wow, I did and it was I know Hashtag bless. Yeah It was it was great Hey, can I ask you something Bridget? So yeah, how popular is the fart genre?

Would you say like I'm I'm I'm guessing you guys kind of estimate the popularity of everything Where does where does the fart genre fall? Well de-focus is more on fetish content. Would you be able to would you be able to answer that better? um, so farting is It's definitely a fetish that people have it's definitely Out there. Um, and on uh hot movies. We have fart videos that have certainly preceded diego But it's not it's not the most common fetish

But I feel like there's a pretty devoted crowd to it We're like, where would you say first? Could you tell us like what are like maybe the three most popular ones? Oh Boy the three most popular fetishes are farts. I didn't Fetishes the three most popular fetishes Um coupled. Yes. Oh Is always the number one fetish on our site? um

I would say like bdsm, but um I would say most people at least who are watching porn Are looking for I would say like lighter bdsm and more like bondage based sex as opposed to like Heavy like You know restraint gagging like caning, you know, boston auto like heavy duty like Dungeon bdsm. Okay Yeah, and then after that it's farting is not number three Um

I think we're gonna call this episode farting's not number three But that I we always have this thing where we talk whenever we talk about um, you know Any thing that's let's say, you know not In the norm and you go like wow something into that and if you if you can search for something and you find dozens of videos That just lets you know that that is a somewhat popular thing, right? I mean, there's obviously This is something that does occur a lot or people are are into this to some degree Yeah, it even has a name. Um, they call I did my research. It's called a proctophilia okay

Okay, it's it's out there. Diego is not alone. Um, he's just Really outspoken about it. Yeah. Yeah What what about girls licking guys butts? Is that a huge You're off topic right now. Just so you know, just well actually Diego said he likes watching Girls like guys asses and porn. Yep And that's actually super common rimming. Thank you Thank you I've been trying to talk this one into it over here and she's like

She says like only a monster would do that. So Really common Okay in porn in porn. Yeah in porn and on second and third dates What'd she say in her friend circle? Yeah. Yeah, see we just yeah, we got to expand your your friend circle, babe Um, all right. So let let's go back to Diego. Where where do things stand with him after your your interview? Well, we're still getting the interview edited and we have studios that are interested Um, but nothing locked down specifically. Okay, work is seen We have to kind of go through the process of getting like reputable male performers

And uh, do this legit because he's been getting a lot of phone calls a lot of negative comments and He's a little scared So, oh, that's all right. Well, I want to make him feel safe and give him a safe outlet. That's great That's so see this was like we were when we were most excited about was that you know, there's one thing that's completely I guess Unavoidable with something like this is there it's inherently funny, right? I mean Farts are funny and somebody's Devotion and pleeing With with a world to fart on them just is funny

But then there's such a sincerity to this guy and that's what kind of we were we were all we were we were taken by it that this guy was So sincere and wanting this to happen that we were so happy that you guys Found him too. It was really great. Well, we're writing Philly. So it actually worked out really well. It's amazing. What are the chances? It's amazing. Yeah Amazing it is meant to be Yeah, and uh, my co-worker and I are hoping to meet up with him this weekend So we can help him take the videos down where he gives out his personal information. Oh good. Good call Because he's yeah, he's getting he's getting some not so great phones all

Well, yeah well, hopefully um that that stops and and and Hopefully we can follow up with you guys So you're you're editing you're editing down your interview tape to send a studio. Is that what you're doing with it? Oh, so we took an interview for the gay hot movies blog Just asking Diego more about his fetish. Um The different types of farts, you know cover all the bases. Um but uh

the marketing is taking care of Connecting with the studios. Okay, okay. Now. Was there anything weird about his interview? I mean besides Him being Diego. Is there anything we should follow up with him about? um I would say at one point I went I left the bar that we interviewed him at to To go smoke and I came back and the bartender was shirtless and Diego was Groping his chest

That's weird. So Diego has a bit of a self restraint problem Yeah, and anytime um, I one co-worker he was flirting with so much anytime he turned around His nose went right to his ass like Jesus beat a honey Wow He really really loved the gray sweat pants and the jeans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow Well, now we got we got some some things to talk to Diego about this was really the best and We're so like again, we're so happy that you guys connected with him and I also want to plug Your stuff again. It's um

There's what hot movies.com hot movies.com hot movies for her.com and The official interview with Diego will be on gay hot movies.com. Great. Great. It's so amazing. Thank you so much Thank you guys so much. Thank you. I'm a huge fan Thank you and bridges if it's cool, I'll follow up with you again soon if this you know progresses Absolutely. Absolutely. I love that. Wonderful. Thank you guys so much for your time today Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Okay. We'll talk soon. Bye guys. Bye guys. All right. Bye Oh Wild yeah, they're so sweet. That was wonderful. Yeah, this is so exciting. So he's got a real shot at this

Diego has a real shot. Now the question is um Can we Can we get Diego on the phone? Let's try See if we can I like that he was smelling people's farts at the interview Yeah, yeah, I know he's for he's for real like there's there's nothing Joking about about this at all. This is 100. He's a hundred percent sincere

Um, I gotta get I gotta pull his number again. So I'm gonna stop this for one second and pull his number again All right. I found it. Let's give him a call. Let's hope he's still answering his phone I so hope he answers he might he might not I mean so many people have been He gave it. He gave his number out to quite a few people. Yeah Please answer Diego Thursday lane Hello, yes, Diego Hey, how are you doing? It's tom. You remember me right from last week

Yeah, tom from last week. How are you doing? I'm good, man. Um, and this time christina's here. I told you she she does the show With me my wife. Um, hi, Diego. So man, we we put the are you doing christine? Good. I'm so happy to talk with you. This is such an exciting Let me ask Let me ask y'all something. Did y'all see that video call? I love women just not sexually Did y'all see that video again? No, not yet. No, let me reach out this video and y'all watch it y'all tell me Let me reach out this video that I did a while back It's called I love women like family

No, not sex men farce arts Okay, okay, I'll check it out. Yeah, we'll definitely check that out. Well. Hey, look, I wanted to follow up So last week when I talked to you I said I'm gonna do the podcast We're gonna put out your number And you were like, hey, you were thrilled about it and this it's been a week now I think you've seen that that video has quite a few more views and I'm Assuming you've gotten a lot of phone calls and I just wanted to follow up and ask

Yes, it's somewhere asshole. Excuse my friend. It's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry about that but um I know that some were good because we also spoke to Bridget at hotmovies.com who said that she met up with you Yeah, how exciting was that? Very she did tell me they did tell me the other night They read her me they read her kind of hard me before in my old hire me because with the funny thing I just got a phone call and somebody called me with a block number and they live outside of Harrisburg and they're saying that

if I really want to be involved that um I have to like send my new picture and just like that. They'll see about it Yeah, if anybody called me with a block number saying that that means don't trust them Yeah, I don't think you should do that man. No, don't don't trust them. I don't want to I did tell them Don't rate me. I did tell them don't rate me and drug me. I'm not down with that No, no, no, no, I'll pass on it. Maybe I should wait for Bridget. I think you should one thing I learned One thing I learned when you're patient good things happen sometimes when you rush like it's like rushing food and we rush food It never comes out, right? Oh, that's a good analogy. That's very true. Diego and Bridget's very legitimate

I would definitely wait for that to do their thing. They they they really know what they're doing, man And they have your I am they have their they have your best interests And you know, they they're pros and they're also going to be make sure you have a good experience and a safe experience So I would I would definitely wait for her, but I'm just curious I mean, I'm sorry. You got some assholes. I knew that would happen if you put something like that out there You're gonna get some but did you get did you get any other good phone calls? Like from people Some was saying they wanted to fly out and try to follow me

But but at the same time they were saying I was too far And once they can he bring his wife and they both follow me and I said that you can have sex with your wife But when it comes to your wife, I see her like she's my sister my family because I don't mind Like say I get about say I have a bi-curious guy want to come and follow me Right, he can have sex with his wife as long as I just smells farts But when it comes to a female and I'm is y'all are like my neighbor my sister my aunt My mom and I want to be like a tree while we're like the water when it comes to males Y'all like that geography air and I'm the landmass when y'all fart. It's just

It's when it comes to a guy It's just so psychologically deep with y'all when it comes to a woman Y'all are just like a family. I don't care what race y'all are. You know I'm saying yes Absolutely. No, that makes a lot of sense I wanted to ask you a question about these jeans. I saw we were playing this jeans video you have up about How you and you were sniffing the jeans and you really like the jeans Is it like a texture thing where you love the the jean material? Yes, I do but what we were what gets me weak is god's a great sweat pants. That gets me weak. That gets you weak

um In other things you see great sweat pants. Oh, yeah, of course If I see that I was I was not my my my rock with rocks in a cage And my nose will get me weak. I get weak to god's a great sweat pants What about jeans though? Do you like them? Do you like them tight the jeans or loose? Um, I like them mainly mainly kind of it doesn't make a difference, but mainly tight Because yeah, like I said when it comes to the fart, I just like whenever it's off Let me ask y'all something. I don't mean talking all hell, but be honest with me

Do y'all think would me call a transsexual man pasta guy? Do you think that's offensive to the to a lot of them? I did that out of love. Wait, what do you call them? I want y'all to be honest with me when I remember I told y'all that like to get in a transsexual man Yeah Now men with clitoris because I like to be kind of nice Do you think by calling them pasta pasta guys and getting a pasta job? Do you think that's offensive to most of them pasta? I don't understand. What how could that be offensive? What do you mean offensive? Why I gotta I gotta somebody has sent me a text by saying cut it out with a pasta job

A pasta job. I had sent me a um Yeah, somebody has sent me a comment, but I but I guess I didn't get no complaints No, no trans person yet calling me saying that's offensive. I don't I don't think it's offensive I don't know why I think pasta's lovely. I love pasta me too. Yeah, again pasta's my favorite dish And what member I'm a status and I'm a tall member when it comes to the guys I like guys with cocks and when y'all fart like to consider y'all sandwich guys Nails with clitoris. I like to consider pasta males if I make sense Do I put guys that's what cocks as sandwich because when it comes to the balls in the cock

And when y'all had that man's smell it's like already prepared as a sandwich when it comes to the males with the clitoris It's like noodles and gravy together when they had that man's smell Yeah, I got a lot of I feel like I I have a lot of beef cream today You know, it was a travel day for me So Right. Yeah, it's very beefy today, but bridget listen sold up. Yeah, and I didn't know that bridget. I know Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what she said. I mean, that's like I'll stick with them I'm gonna stick with them because like I said, I don't want to get drug raped until no do

Not a money and nobody wants that to happen to you. So please be safe. Do not yeah, do not You know, get on a plane and just jump, you know, meet like you got you got to think of your your safety first, okay? So make sure I am okay, and they're very legitimate. Yeah, don't don't don't go for these other people Okay Yeah I wanted to ask You go you go I was just gonna say we spoke with bridget and she said that you you did a great job at the interview

And that you were wonderful But she said that you she went to go she go to the restroom and she came back and you were you had the bartender shirtless I Sorry, I just love his nipples. I love guys. Well, I love I like guys with boobs. It was that offensive to her Wait, do you like like actual soft breasts on a man? Yeah, I like I like I said when I come to plump guys, I like the boob when it comes to tall skinny guys I love the long legs Wow, wow

So did you know when I touched his boob when I touched his boob? Did that offend her or didn't bother? No, no, no, no, no. She loves you. She was just saying that I We were just joking. It was a joke But I'm thinking about I'm thinking about you know, I'm thinking about I'm thinking about any guys I'm thinking about making a campaign if any guys got boobs. I like to cut to them Biscuit guys because I love breasts on guys. I just think they're I loved it I don't know when it comes to um, guys, I like I guess I like to suck the titties sometimes Yeah, that's awesome. You know

You know what I thought about You know imagine I put whipped cream on their titties and lick it and imagine they put mayonnaise on their ass Just a little bit and I eat it. Yeah, that's because like I said, I don't mean to be big here Yeah, that's fantastic on a great fun pants or the jeans. That's more rich. Yeah, I feel that Hey, I have a question um, so I know you were you were thrown around your Short story, you know scenarios and you have ideas what I wanted to ask you was So let's say this pans out and you get to shoot

a scene and Just in this actual scenario. It gets to be any kind of scene you want. What is the perfect? Fart scene that you would shoot Like what's the story behind leading up to those farts? Are you like waiting? You know what I mean? Like are you are you in a bank? Are you in a hotel? Are you you know what I mean? Are you? I like it. I don't many well It's a it's a long list to it The list rolls from here

The list rolls, but I I guess like I said, what would be my favorite if I'm not making until that start it would be Would you help me out with this? What y'all call those chairs when you're here in a chair and the rest of your body's not in chair And when person had them they had to run up with their butt there is the we all call them type of chairs Oh, I don't know. No, but I am talking about a farts scene. I want to know what you're what you're perfect Man, I got a good one. I don't like math. I hate math Imagine I play like a college guy since I look young for my age Right and imagine another young guy or imagine another young guy

We go home and he's a study buddy and man. He has someone that's like an older guardian His father and I said and he said hey, this is my friend and I say how you do? I'm helping with his math and we go in his room and I say please I I don't want to study. Let me cheat so I get the answer Please he said no and I say please in the moment. I persuade him He said, okay Now that if you really want me if you really want to cheat and give me if you really want me to answer Yes, it doesn't smell my farts. Yeah, I know as far

I make love with it and then a father come in and a father kind of get interested Any and that's not a father's farts and I make love with both their farts on the bed Why they wear neither jeans or great flip pants? This is about a father and son seeing where I hate math But I want to you know, but I want to cheat because I because even in real life. I can't stand math Yeah, no, I'm with you neither. I don't like geography is fine I love your I love the scenario. I think that I think it's great And we both actually Christina and I both hate math also

So I identify. Thank you. That's a great thing geography. I'll take that up. Okay geography We have another question for you, Diego. You go by the name thursday lane. Yeah, thursday lane. Yeah, where'd that come from? What what's that about? I would made me fall off the name thursday is because I love the date the order that it comes in It's in the middle where it's getting closer into the week, but it's getting closer into the week but not quite yet And with me being a person that's black I'm kind of like in the middle where I'm not a bug. I'm not your average and let me be engaged

I'm not your average and typical and with me kind of Being in the middle because I felt like most of my life was in the middle and when it comes to the sound of lane I love the street when it has that sound of the lane So, yeah, I like to think of myself as in I like to think of myself as like in I like to think of myself as a centric, but oh it's in the middle So so because when it comes to thursday after the hump day you can still kind of be yes. Yes. Yes It's yes. Yes. Yes. This is it is great get through so me when people deal with me I like to get people the heart of the middle

Miss the heart heart of the middle when people deal with me Because thursday is the heart of the week And I like to consider like the blue heart and I like to get people and when it comes to the lane I like to I like to draw me to the heart of the lane of who I am. That's why I came up with thursday lane I like that. Yeah, that's great. And what about beautiful guppies? How did you did you come up with beautiful guppies? Well I'm gonna tell you what I told ridgid Why would maybe draw those guppies light blue because like I said when it comes to white

The way y'all didn't answer me as you know Black people are from the warm place and white people y'all from the cold place The way y'all didn't answer me y'all skin is light like that makes your skin is light And a cold kind of make y'all skin light just like the south made of Kind of dark and when I think of y'all I like to think of me as like a I like to think of me like born in like a guppy store Why use my imagination where? Say y'all say y'all got like feathers on y'all In a cult say say for example, I see a blue guppy with um with the blonde feathers

I like to use my imagination to take the flavor off their feathers not kill them You know what I mean, and I like to sneak and taste them same thing with I imagine these guppies having either yellow blonde hair and I take the chicken feathers and when it comes to um brain hair guppies Buffalo guppies and That's cream and when it comes to dark hair guppies I like to think about taking the beef cream off the bed. See what when it comes to white

You know I use my imagination where I work in like a guppy A guppy place I mean a guppy trout a guppy trout store where hey That's okay, Diego. Uh, I think you need a podcast too. I think you need to start your own podcast You considered that have you considered starting a podcast? You should start a podcast really because like Well, I don't think about it. But like I said, let me finish. I'm almost done. Okay. Like I said when it comes to

I like to consider myself like in a store where I'm Hardly working them working a guppy store for volunteer guppies though because I'm in love with playing with y'all Like when I used to go to when I go to the barn sometimes when I'm chasing the guys I'm attracted to get their man's smell I like to think of me as Trying to chase like their man's smell, which is their feathers. Yeah. So yeah, I consider y'all Like feathers with some cream on it. Yeah, no, it makes sense without destroying y'all. I like the taste. I like the taste y'all That's how I see it. Well, look man We we're just you know, we're so happy that this feels like it's going in the right direction

I want you to please do us a favor and wait for Bridget. Wait for that to develop be patient like you said and also Be safe You have a lot of people pulling for you. I know you said you got some nasty calls But I guarantee you We've gotten a lot of feedback Just from having you on the show last week and and it's overwhelmingly positive So a lot of people are pulling for you and they want to make your your dreams come true. Okay

Yeah, but I just want also I just want people to know that I don't hate other race I'm just in love with the creeps now that y'all Yeah, no, no one thinks that's why I'm in love with we love it. Um, thank you Because you know, it's funny. You know, it's funny. I had support for some black people some of them And I was like, thank god because you got blacks that date out their race, you know, yeah You know everybody dating out their race, you know, I always feel like nobody should have to no one needs to justify What or who they're attracted to it's just it's it's in you. It's whatever you like is what you like So don't feel badly about that. Sometimes I see you. I'm not like sometimes

I see a lot of Asians a lot of white men with Asian women Yeah, you know, everybody like what they like they like what they like exactly me I'm attracted to the creeps mother got you know Of course Any questions you know, so your name is y'all name is tom and who christina and christina. Yeah christina and we are Listen, yeah, you're my podcast. Yeah, your mom's house podcast is the name of the podcast and we We put that video on our show last week and it went from 71 views to 18 000 views in a week

so Wow We are if you go look at your look at your account we we um We put it out there and we we've just been we're 100 behind you We want to make this we want to see your dream come true. We want you to get those farts So Hopefully it'll happen soon Yeah, but I'm gonna say this and I want to hold y'all. I still question that

Transsexual men. I hope are they down with being called pasta guys. Yeah, I still You know, we'll put it out there We'll put it out there and we'll ask you that favor Ask that question to any transsexual men men with clitters. Okay. Are y'all are y'all comfortable with me saying like pasta job Okay pasta pasta guys We will and um, we thank you for your time today, Diego And if it's cool with you, we'll follow up again soon. Okay, we'll call you again if that's all right Take your time. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Diego. Good luck. Bye. Thank you so much bar

Wow, wow. Wow. What a what an amazing thing the show is we've connected two people with Crazy, I like that. He didn't even know bull interest like a how Much of a bump that he was like, oh wow, I didn't know it like Isn't that wild though that we connected a guy who's in the farts with like a nice lady who makes the porn of the farts Yeah, yeah, well, she you know works in the industry. Yeah, but it's it's so amazed that she happened to listen to show Amaze and I know she's you couldn't have asked for a better You know a better thing to happen, but it just goes to show when you have such a sincere want I mean he he really expressed that so sincerely and clearly. It's like wow. Yeah, it's bound to come true

You know when you wish upon a farts star. Well, I just like that. Um The bridge that also let you know that's also very very common For women to use their mouths on a man like my ass like my ass She said rim jobs, but she said in real life, it's not Yes, she she said in my friend's circle in oh in her real and yeah I don't know. I don't know what kind of friends bridge it has. You know what I'm saying? Well, I think it was pretty clear. They're pretty cool friends Cuckolding is is up number one number one and that's where the husband likes to watch the wife with other guys

Yeah, but it's usually like the more it's um, it's a more dominant Stronger bigger dick guy, you know, so it's oh so he likes to feel Yeah, yeah, yeah small next to it's that she's like wowed by the sexual Beast she's with and then she's like oh, I'm normally with you and you got this puny little yeah, and then the guy's like Wow, it's pretty big. Yeah, and are they Puerto Rican gentlemen there sometimes Yeah, the the the thing that I see always it's usually black It's usually that the woman is with the black Guy and the white husband or boyfriend is like

Wow, it's way bigger than mine, but some of those are pretty gross to watch like because there's different levels of it you know and sometimes the uh the The guy that she's with will like, you know Finish and then the cuckold will like lick it up and stuff. It's pretty. Oh, yeah It's pretty foul. I think well, you know, it's personally, but sure. Yeah, beautiful guppies are everywhere. So it doesn't really wow What was that all about? Hey, did you like when I told him I had beef? He goes, hmm. He kind of he got really serious. Yeah

He he paused he was like oh, he goes. Hmm. Yeah Dude, if he only knew what you look like, I don't think he's aware. I don't think he knows that I am his He's talking to his type. Yeah, it's chubby titted farting master You've got all the boxes checked off. Oh, shit. Wow except for the gay part So I know except for the you know, he's such a nice guy. I really do want this to happen for him Well, I I fear that he is he's getting impatient But it's only been a week. He sounded like he's he's going back to down to earth with it Yeah, because it takes time, you know, bridge has got to do her thing and it takes time to match up the right

Like she said, you got to find the legit talent. Yeah, it's going to take a minute So I hope he hangs in there and doesn't go to some uh, Disreputable place it always takes time jeans and sweatpants and Yeah, he likes to type jeans Don't forget to go to hotmovies.com hatmoviesforher.com and that's exciting. Was the other one gay hot movies gay? Yeah, gay hot movies. I think yeah. Um, yeah, so that's uh He really likes to link food with the farts too like the man or the story behind First of all, he's very worried concerned about pasta noodle. Hey, do we have any translate?

We should just ask the same thing this time Any trans listeners that are offended by being called pasta? pasta guppies And I didn't understand the guppy explanation. Did you really? Oh, really? Of course not No, that was everywhere as long as it makes sense to him. I guess Um, it's all that matters Yeah, it makes a lot of sense to him and the man the thought into thursday

Was crazy too. It's a great explanation. It actually was a really good explanation So there's a guy here who's um It's I guess on topic Making paintings with his dick. Yeah. Yeah, this was submitted by a listener as well And it's it's a good art actually. It's actually really good. Yeah, he does like portraits of people. Yeah. Yeah He paints with his dick. Yeah and um

Here's what he said Firstly, I grabbed my penis and testicles and plunged the whole lot into a pot of paint The combination of balls and dick holds lots of paint So then I just scrubbed them all over the canvas Which I hold in one hand until the canvas is sufficiently covered. Well, that's That's a pretty good Explanation of that. Um, his name by the way is tim patch And he's known as precasso

Hilarious. Yes. Good. Good market. He does really. I mean, these are really good paintings. Yeah, they're not they're not like just dopey Finger painting type things like they're legit. Yeah. Yeah Here's what else he says about um Some of the detail in his work. I then place my penis behind me And using my butt cheeks I smooth out the paint covering the area where the face is to be painted Then bringing the canvas back to my front I hold my penis and dip its head into the paint

Using it like a brush. I start to rough out the features eyes nose and mouth Um, I wonder if this paint has any effect on his junk Right, I mean, that's what's put on your hands even right and your dick and balls are like a more sensitive skin for sure We need to ask this guy. I mean, is there special paints? Yeah It's a good question And then yeah, because don't you have to put some remover on there at the end of the day when you're working with paints to get it off Your your hands, right? That's got to be pretty toxic It's pretty remarkable when you look at some of these paintings that he it almost doesn't feel

Real that he did this with his dick and balls, but I guess he really did Wow, the world is an amazing place. I mean, look at the look at the detail. We got we should put this up too Yeah, it's really good Really incredible. What a hook How long do you think it took him to learn how to paint with his dick? I don't know man That's one you got to cultivate Do you think that um, Diego would like this guy who likes himself the muscle guy?

I don't know Well, y'all get this bunny man card I don't like it. I don't like it at all No, thanks He's really threatening. Please don't make me Like a rock man. No, he's looking at himself. Yeah, it's so weird. This is sex with myself, man. Okay from mirror Watch myself fucking come all over me. Oh, jeez Do you do that? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah

Yeah, just loving voices. I can't even mimic that voice. No. Oh, yeah It's kind of a little king ash ripper. And you've got a real deep voice. Not like this guy Yeah, he really likes himself. It's like, um, patrick bateman. Oh and also remember that one episode of jiggalows were braced at that And he was like, yeah, yeah, I think he masturbated. Yeah, he masturbated and like look at himself Yeah, so patrick bateman did in american psycho. Yeah Mm-hmm pretty crazy, man Beef cream I wanted to ask about the chicken cream and the beef cream Like if that's a dish, but then I was like, I don't I can only take so many explanations, you know

Um, I feel like the beautiful guppies was enough Yeah, beautiful guppies beautiful guppies Beautiful guppies. Oh, I sent that that video to my friend here. We wrote back the day. Oh, I did. What'd he say? Holy shit Is he interested or what he really likes it. Yeah, how is agent getting on it? Such an insult that guy's like such an amazing director. Yeah, no, no, he knows him. I know I know All right. Well, we should we should we should grow we should grow we should grow up Um, we should roll. I love you guys

Uh, thanks for listening. Please go to your mom's house podcast dot com Of course shop through our amazon banner for the holidays That's right start doing it now. Yeah, of course, of course um, go to our clips page and uh, you can see all these clips we've been adding to the page, um T-shirts Yeah, it's all there, man May I make a point about momma's on by the way? Yeah, can I tell you what the best move is?

Don't fuck around when you have to buy people gifts that live in other states Just have amazon ship it to their house or if you're going to travel for christmas Why lug the presents to the person's house? Don't be an idiot order it on amazon and just have the packages delivered to your Destination you can have most of the stuff gift wrap too. Yeah, we've been doing that for quite a few years Do it. It's it's the abs and please use our uh, our banner your mom's house podcast dot com Click on the banner and do your shopping as you normally would thank you. Good night Um, okay, there's that um, please go to my site tomscure.com for those All those shows coming up and don't forget to check out christina jeans october 29th at the braya

Improp I think that's it jeans. That's it. Mommy's beautiful guppies beautiful guppies. We'll see you next week. Bye meow You You You