Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 334-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: March 9, 2016

Bruh! That was a deep fart. Cool that you got your little bro in on it.  We got videos! If you're listening that's only half the battle. How often and how well do we make fun of those who are "LESS THAN"? Hopefully a lot. And this episode has no shortage. We have a CRAZIE LOC who Tommy challenges to a fight! Will he accept? Plus we have that intel you've been looking for on KIM AHN. It's so full of adventure and is truly AMAZE.  Seagal has a new turd, er, trailer, and it's mind-numbing how bad it is. Enjoy!

Capers 32, Episode 9, this week I decided to write a song for my favorite podcast out there called Your Mom's House with Tom Segura and Christina Pajitzi. Tom and Christina are both stand-up comedians, they're married and they're fucking hilarious, so go check out their shit. I met your mom's house. This shit is big time. I met your mom's house. Who is rain?

I met your mom's house. Don't bring anyone's mother into this. I met your mom's house. Your mom on the fucking stage. I met your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Hey Christina. Hey Hitler.

Are you in Argentina? Are you what? Damieng like Tom and Christina? Ellis and Fifi? Bizzy and blue man. Got me laughing stupid like a porn star trying to do that. DJ dad now rocks the crowd. I'm a girl.

Said I got the pussy fucking to me now. I've been rocking with mom since I came to get learned. I would never treat jeans like King-ass Ripper. Diego made it big. He's really living his dream. Beautiful cup. He's lining up to give him the chicken cream. And I just got an apartment on Thursday night.

Someone yells suck. I thought I heard my name. Yeah, thank him. Hey, let's be real. I have her suckin' like a succulent. Chinese meal. And Christina's podcast is a unique show. When her and Tom made the baby, she said SD, bro.

I met your mom's house. This shit is big time. I met your mom's house. Who is rain? I met your mom's house. Don't bring anyone's mother into this. I met your mom's house. Your mom on the fucking stage.

I met your mom's house. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Hey, Christian. Hey, Christian. I bought my mom weed and the ice coffee. I'm like Ted Williams, because I got a high mom and a radio voice. Plus, I'm kind of a bum.

Harder than my stool chart. Deuce minus one. I heard. Kiss my pussy. And all I seen was a bum. Guess I'm gonna fill a ruck. The seal is shut. Watch for Joe Rogan asking what's with jeans.

Get your life high and tight. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? I'm so fa-ha. Let's vocal fry. I had a sock for mattress. Sent him the X place to make a poly body. Jimmy Johnson's sex tape.

Sponsored by Squarespace to make dinner. Follow him on Twitter. And visit your mom's house for more than an hour. Make brown dough. Wipe and go right in the shower. Come on. What? That was amazed.

Amazed. Wow. Capers. Amazed. Except that he really had to go. Christian. Christian. He totally played you son.

Wow. He was like, you talk silly girl. Yeah. That was really good. That was capers 32. Yes. Episode nine. You can go to.

Caper Lucero on YouTube. Well done, man. Really cool. Thank you. I feel honored. I do too. It was really, really great. He got so many of the references like nailed it.

Yeah. That was the ultimate mommy song. And he's a good rapper. He has his raps. Yeah. No, he's talented for sure. Look, we're doing this again. We'll get into that after the break.

Fuck. I got a big announcement to make and that is I am coming. I am coming all over your mother's fate. Now I am coming. Come on guys. Let's grow up. I know. Jeez.

I'm coming to Philadelphia. Filly. Fill her. Fill her up. Delphia. Fartledelphia. Or Fartledel. I think Fartledelphia.

Fartledelphia is pretty good. I am coming on November the what? I have the link right here. Click it. Oh my God. I'm coming November 19th. Saturday, November 19th. The Trocadero Theater in Philadelphia.

It's a big deal. Tickets are on sale today. And the reason that the promoters put the tickets on sale today is because it's Jean's Day. Yeah. Wednesday. Absolutely. They hit me up before and they said, we'll make the tickets go live the day your podcast

comes out. So. Perfect. I think that's pretty cool. I respect for the show. It's on sale now. So if you're listening, doors are at 7, shows at 7.30, the Trocadero, November 19th. Go to TomSegura.com, a couple other things.

If you are listening and you're in Tacoma, we added, to come on you. We added a late show Thursday because all the other shows are sold out. Oh my gosh. Isn't that crazy? So we have one more show that has tickets available. Those are going. So thank you very much. And of course I'm coming to Seattle.

People ask me, are you going to go just due to Tacoma? No. Seattle will definitely have it. No, you only do the secondary cities. Yeah. I don't do the big cities. No major markets. Only secondary.

Of course I'm doing it. Next week, no, or it's November, March 17th through 19th, Sacramento, Sac Ball Sacramento with Big Earn. All right. Andy Erickson will be there. And then the end of the month, Cleveland Steamer, Hilarities, March 31st through April 2nd. The full charge will be with me. And then Sperm Can Washington.

That is March or April 21st to 23rd. Also Jacksonville, Florida and Syracuse, New York. Wait a minute. Jacksonville. Oh, Jack. Yeah. Jack or Jackson, Jackson's dick. Jack it off, Sylville.

There you go. And then, yeah. So those are all on sale. TomSquare.com. Jeans. Well, I'm doing a lot of stuff in L.A. Come see me at the Comedy Store on the 9th. That's tonight, right? As it drops.

Yeah. The 9th, 8 p.m. show. Comedy Store I'm with. Marylin Rice Cub, Joseph Rogan, Greg Fitzsimmons. Damn. Oh, it's a fundraiser for a school. Damn. And then on the 10th of March, 8 p.m. show, Ice House, I'll be headlining that show.

That's the 10th, 8 p.m. And then the 13th, I do a 5 p.m. show at Flappers, Flappers Comedy Club. That's a Sunday show. It is not kid-friendly, even though it's early like that, don't bring your kids. And then on the 15th, I'm at the Brea Improv. So come out and see me at 8 o'clock show at the Brea Improv. Come out and support your Jeans. She needs your help.

Come and do it. And that's it. So get your life, Jeans. Get your entire life. Oh, listen to that. It's DeepRow. Yeah. Do that.

Do it. That's DeepRowPodcast.com. Go to that. See where you are. I'm going to be doing an episode. Check this episode out. I put a call out to people that live off the grid, which is kind of weird to do. I know on a podcast, but I've found people who like live in crazy parts of Alaska.

Yes. I like that. Find out what that's like. I actually am very curious about that. Yeah, right? Do you want to sit in on it? I'm very curious about that. Yeah.

It's so cool. It's such a fantasy of mine. I think everybody to a degree has that fantasy. Even not, they don't have it all the time, but there's some parts of you at some point that go, let me get away from all of this. Yeah. And what's that like to dip out in society? It's really philosophical as far as ...

Fartless offical. Fartless offical. What's the point of being so involved with this madness, this society? Does consumer ... It's all consumerism in America. It's all nonsense. Donald Trump is going to be the president. It's all going downhill. I want to thank Des the Dizzle for that instrumental that he calls Spaceballs.

So thank you for submitting that. We love your instrumentals. We love your songs. I get into some song submissions here in a little bit. These are really moving along. How do you feel about the temperature? I'm fine with it. You're hot.

Are you guys hot? Do you want me to adjust it? All right. Can I just mention one thing before I forget? When you stumbled in that copy, it kind of reminded me of the pitch that I had for you about doing the retarded comic. I feel like the way you said it, you kind of blew a point. You went there a little?

You're not a good person, just so you know. No, but it was good. I love that. It was an authentically retarded moment for you and something you're practicing your full retard. It's just something I'm saying. Thank you. God.

I'm ready as shit. Oh, good. Oh, what the fuck? I'm professional. You got to turn that shit off. Fuck. Shit. It's all preferable.

It's all preferable. Here we go. I'm ready. Guys, if you don't know, which you may be not knowing until right now when I tell you, this is our first episode with video of what we're listening to on display for both Christina and you, the listeners. So if you go to our YouTube page, it's youtube.com slash your mom's house podcast. You can actually see the videos as we play them on the show.

So I thought that it's a maze. This is a huge deal for us. What is a maze is that you're going to see in the moment what we're listening to the ball. The ball. We're stepping up the YMH game. We are a whole brand new studio, brand new stuff doing this episode of second time. We like to do it, but the second time's better.

You're going to like it. You can practice your retard stuff. God damn it. Okay. Well, let's open the show. Full retard. Let's do it. Hey, Ty.

Mm-hmm. Is that real? Oh. How is it even possible? Oh. Jesus. Smell it. I can't breathe.

You farted like that. How? How? How? That's it. How? How? Oh, it's ranting.

It's ranting. It's ranting. It's ranting. It's ranting. It's ranting. It's ranting. It's ranting. This is house.

Who is ranting? Don't bring anyone loving to this. No women to fucking stand! Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura, Tom Setsu. Christina Pashitski. Christina Pashitski.

Christina Pashitski. Welcome to your mom's house. I got jokes. Oh my god. I got jokes. Oh my god. That's really out of line. Yeah.

Babe, when did you do that? You're off. What's that? That's in that guy's video. I did it first. You were like... No, I think it was a different thing. Super lame.

So we're back for a second time. We should address that now. People probably don't know what that means. What that means is we actually did this podcast yesterday. Front to back, over 90 minutes. We always wipe front to back. Always front to back. Over 90 minutes.

First time ever with the monitor. First time in the studio. And one of the things we did when we set up the studio is we got new microphones. And did I do a microphone test on microphone one? Yes. Did I do a microphone test on microphone two? No. And what happened?

I wonder why that is. Microphone two was fucked. It's interesting to know if you would ask a psychologist why you didn't test my microphone. You better get your life. That's what I would say. It's like you didn't want me to have a voice. That's ridiculous. I definitely wanted you to have a voice.

It was the absolute biggest bummer. The worst thing is to do work for no fucking reason. I've done it on That's Deep Bro like three times where I've recorded the entire episode and then gone back and found that either sound studio had fucked me, the mics weren't working, I've screwed up at least three or four episodes. So I totally get it. And we're right now, I mean... Horrible.

You know what I'm saying? Anyways, we're back. It's gonna be better. It's so much better now. It's a lot better. As we discussed yesterday, one of the things that I really like about this opening clip is that it brings me back to childhood. This is clearly sibling on sibling fart.

It takes me back to memories of farting on my sisters. Right. Sometimes they got me with their farts, you know? I don't believe that. I don't think either of them had the same kind of heat. They had, I mean, there's, you know, they were healthier rancid, but sometimes real healthy eaters have real nasty farts too. And they definitely farted.

They farted a mean game. I think Maria would have worse ones in the chain. Maria dropped some heat for sure, fells a lot. Falls a lot. And yeah, she definitely... Oh my God, you guys are so disgusting. Definitely dropped some nasty farts. Oh my God.

A lot of farts. Oh my God, seriously? Yeah. Oh my God, oh my God. This girl though, it's perfect. I mean, she sets, I just respect it so much. She sets the trap, she baits him where she just goes, hey Ty, and he's like, what's up?

Yeah. And she rips a real daddy fart. It's a dad fart, yeah. And the smell too. It's hard to get the sound down the smell. Well, you understand that it had two lives. Right. There was the initial fart and then there was that kind of...

The back draft, if you will, like a fire. I mean, listen to this whole fart. It's pretty crazy there. Sure. Really, really is something. Hey Ty. Mm-hmm. Oh.

Is that real? Oh. How is that possible? Oh. Jesus. Look at his face is the best. He's working like that. How?

How? The way he says how? Hey Ty. How? Mm-hmm. Look at his face. Oh. Jesus.

Look at his face is the best. He's working like that. How? How? The way he says how? Hey Ty. It's so cute. They're so cute.

They are cute. This really went viral this video. Of course. It's perfect. Well, it's perfect. When I first saw this video, it was probably a little over a week ago, I saw it with a few thousand views. It was sent to us and I was like, oh, that's cool.

It's a fart video and it's got, well, it's almost got 4 million views now. Nice. I mean, this shows you that we're onto something with this. Of course we're onto something. Yeah. Of course. Your mom's house has always been on the cutting edge. Yeah.

And people are like, oh, you know, you guys, your show is just about farts and, you know, it's not. No. Who found Thursday Lane? Yeah. Your mom's house. King-ass River. Yeah.

Your mom's house. Yeah. Peter Kane. Your mom's house. Yep. We break major stars on this show. Yep. Okay.

You think it's America's Got Talent? No. It's your mom's house. Your mom's house. Yeah. It's all. LinkedIn is helpful. LinkedIn is helpful.

LinkedIn is helpful. LinkedIn is helpful. Nobody really uses LinkedIn. I don't need the help. I don't know. So. Wait, seriously. Cause I get, I get invitations every day.

Like so-and-so wants to add you to LinkedIn. Yeah. Who the fuck is using it though? Fucking complete maniacs and assholes. LinkedIn's for nerds, man. You fucking suck. LinkedIn is helpful. LinkedIn is helpful.

No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not helpful at all. Yeah. And I love that it's a girl farting.

That's always the best. Of course you do. And it's not sexual. It's just like- Sexual? You know what I'm saying? It's not- Oh, because some people are like, yeah.

Fart on me. Yeah. It's just like a girl farting. It's still as much as I respect, you know, everybody's different. But, you know, turn-ons. Right. It is crazy that farts really get people going. Sure is.

How's my assholes now, huh? You know? It really is. You know? It really is. I know. It's just-it's just because it's not yearling. It's hard to fathom.

Yeah. And I get it. I mean, people go- I don't get it. That people- that reality. That your lane is your lane. Yeah. If something's not you, you're like, that's fucking crazy.

Yeah. But, so people like farts. I'm like, yeah, me too. Good farts, man. That's a lot of people's lanes. Yeah. It's enough people's lanes that there's a lot of categories on the internet. Yeah.

So many. Well, I mean, a lot of- There's whole sites. Videos dedicated. There's entire sites. To farts. Red Band sent me a link of a site that is a tube site just for farts. He sent that to you?

Yes. He's like, I know, I know you'd appreciate that. He's just like, check out this farts site. Yeah. I'm far non-UHators. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Of course. Red Band knows what's up. Yeah. We should check in, by the way, a little bit later on King Aspiric. I haven't even looked for his stuff lately. I get notified. I don't know if you subscribed to him on YouTube. I do.

Yeah. So I get notified of any new- Are you kidding me? Oh, I didn't know if you did. I'm probably one of his sub-five subscribers. Sub-five? Yeah. What's that?

First five subscribers. Sub-five. Yeah. That's dumb. Is that real? I don't know. I just said it. He just made that up.

He made a channel. That's good. He put a channel up and I was like, subscribed. Yeah. Speaking of subscribed guys, you should be subscribing to our YouTube channel right now. If you enjoy these videos- Subscribe. You know why we do behind the scenes?

We do extras. We do unaired stuff. Talking to my dad off the air about how much my shit didn't bother him. Yeah. How many times he's told me that? If you watched that video on our page, at least a thousand times he's told me, never bothered me when you shit. I'm like, why do you keep saying that?

He's letting you know that he loves you. I know. I know. Unless this shit doesn't bother me. It makes me laugh. The smell still is an impact, though. It's impact. It's horrendous.

Yeah. Wow. It's quite smelly. Yeah. Okay. Well, speaking of, so back to Ask Ripper, I haven't noticed any new ones, but let's do check-in. Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, let's not let that fall by the wayside, you know what I'm saying. Okay. I don't want to overdo this theme, but do you want to make your special announcement or? I don't know. Don't you think it's time for you should notify people, though, with an olive board?

Olive board! Next up, brown talk. Brown talk coming up. You've been warned. That's for people who are like, I listened to this show on speakers in my cubicle, God damn it. Yeah. And there's porno and shit talk.

Give you a little warning. Oh, it's kind of a late warning. It's already started. Yeah. All right. So this is something that really happened and it's so substantial, substantive that, you know, we're stopping the show essentially. Yeah.

All right, guys. Here goes. March 3rd at 7.22 PM, I, Christina Pajitzki had a double pipe classic. It's pretty amazing. Thank you. It is amazing. Thank you. Thank you.

You were sitting there. Describe it. Yeah. Describe the moment for me because I was living in. I didn't really get to feel it, you know. You were holding our child. Yeah. What a really special, a more special moment than I even recognized.

You were holding our child and I was sitting only a few feet from you. I was distracted and you said, Tom, and I was like, hold on. I think I was reading. Yeah. I go, what? And you go, I just had a double pipe classic and I dropped my phone. I dropped my phone on the ground and I said, what? And I said, what time is it?

What? Yeah, you did. Right down the time. You did. Mark it. You wrote the time down. I mean, what was it like? Cause we've had people email about them and, and tweet, you know, a guy even came up to

me at a show with his girlfriend and he was like, I had double pipe classic this week. And his girlfriend was like, it's so disgusting and I go, I said, that's really special. It is. It's like Haley's comment. It's like a shooting star. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Haley's comment of body functions.

Yeah. Because me, somebody who's obviously well-respected in the body function game, you know, and I mean, they happen literally once maybe every five years, maybe really, they're not, they're not common. Yeah. No. Cause you have to, everything has to go just right for a little bit to go up and a little bit down.

Right. It picks a path like 99% of the time. Well, yeah, you're right. And the reason that I happened upon it, but sorry to interrupt, but it doesn't go, it's not Burt Fart or it has to be simultaneous, which is a hard part. You know, luckily my anus has loosened as I've discussed due to childbirth. And I think what happened was the burp happened and usually I have more fart control, but because I've lost fart control, bam.

Yeah. And it happened. And you know, when you're in the moment, you're in the game, you don't realize it until a second later. Maybe what I don't, maybe, I don't know, will this be a more common thing because of the pregnancy in which case does it count as much? Of course it counts. Is it?

It's all these matters. It's okay. It's all these matters. Maybe, you know, they're not as genuine. That's not true, Tom. Don't you rob me of this gift? Look, childbirth ravaged my body, pregnancy ravaged my body. The one gift nature gave me was the gift of farts now.

Yeah. Okay. Uncontrollable bowel movements that are uncontrollable. Yeah. And this wonderful gift. Okay. Okay. Well, you know, I'm just, I'm just thinking out loud, you know, so.

How dare you try to take the validity of my double pipe classic from me? Well, you just brought to my attention that things have changed. Don't shake your head. I just feel like... How dare you rob me of my joy? I think that it's fair to bring it up, to discuss it. That's all. It's sort of like you...

Fuck you, Tom. Fuck you. Okay. Jesus. It's sort of like you... Kids' faces. I know. Just amazing.

Maybe you could use a little bit of a lesson. Three million. Oh, and FedEx. Yeah. FedEx. Yeah. FedEx. I can't...

You know what's weird? My earphones are... I can't hear. FedEx. Is there sound in this video? Yeah, there is. There is sound. I don't hear anything.

Tom, I can't hear anything in this. FedEx. FedEx. FedEx is what I hear. No, you don't hear that. You're making that up. Only a retarded person would be like FedEx. And a retarded person saying FedEx would make a lot more money on tour.

You know what I'm saying? Why are you trying to make me retarded? That's so mean. Just do one tour as retarded, Tom, and one as normal, Tom, and just see what the difference in ticket sales are. Well, you know, I have new agents. That's the time to bring them new ideas. Can't you imagine?

Yeah. Sounds like a pretty... I'd like to do a retarded theater tour. Guys, here's the thing. I know you're thinking of booking me out as this not retarded standup. What I'm saying is let's revisit the game. Maybe I am retarded. You know what I'm saying?

And see if a retarded comic, you know what I'm saying, could bring in more ticket sales. You feel me? You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm talking about? What do you think they would say? They'd be like, absolutely, Mr. Sigoura. Absolutely.

You're going to commission, and you're going to make so much money as Tom Sigoura retarded comedian. You're going to make so many money. What I'll need to do then is establish that I'm retarded. People that are coming to the shows now know me as a not retarded guy. So I don't have to get a new persona. I mean, a new name, right? No, I think it's just the evolution.

The evolution is that I'm retarded? Yeah. You know, like Lucy Kay, his children got older. He talked about that. He got a divorce. He talked about that. That's where evolution is a comedian. How did I become retarded though?

It was natural. It's not natural. You woke up one day, retarded. So just walk out on stage. Yeah. It's fine. People, I just, let Twitter, let the people on Twitter tell you. Oh, good.

That's where I like to take my cues. Let the Twitter people tell you how to do it. We'll see. Let's see. Guys, do you want to hear Tom Sigoura retarded comedian? Just tweet at him. Let him know. At Tom Sigoura.

Thanks, babe. I challenge you, you can far bigger than me. I challenge, he's throwing down the gauntlet. I feel like that sounds kind of retarded. What if I walk down on stage? That's wrong with this guy. He's retarded. You know, with Danny Axe, what's her name?

Danny. Danny. That was the first obviously mentally ill person that we've kind of poked fun at. That's a bit of a stretch of a comment. But that's what I'm saying. I don't think we've ever, like I think they've all been a little off and. Hey, Harry. It's me, Danny.

I'm not Hitler talking to Harry this time. I just want to tell you that I really do love you a lot and I really do miss you a lot. And I also want to tell you that the place where I'm actually going to poop in your mouth is actually in your mouth, not actually outside of it, and I probably might smear it on your nose. But see, you know what she just said, I'm going to do it in your mouth, not outside of it. And now she's smearing on your nose.

I mean, like where are you pooping? You know what I mean? It's interesting because they must have had the preceding conversation where he was like, wait a minute, Danny, you're going to poop in my mouth, in my mouth, or around my mouth. And she's clarifying, no, no, no, it's in your mouth. You know what I think actually happened? She probably told her plans of pooping. I'm going to poop on his mouth to Hitler.

Oh. And Hitler probably was like, wait a minute. That's a minute. Are you doing in the mouth or on those very, very important distinctions. But there's a two different kinds. And then he said, you should make a video where you explain very clearly where you're going to poop. And then she goes, thanks, Hitler.

And then I made this video. Oh, yeah, you should make a video clearly stating your pooping intentions. Yeah. Where are you going to scot, Danny? Danny actually said, no, no, because that is a big thing in Germany. Yeah. The Germans are going for the scot. So Hitler told her to do this is what you're saying.

Yeah. He was like, Danny, you want to want to suck on these thick nips of mine? Oh, Hitler. Raising on your chest. Oh, OK. You know, stuff like that. Since I actually love you a lot and you know, I just want to tell you that I really do miss you and I really do love you and hopefully if you ever need to, I'll be making more videos.

OK. All right. Bye. Cheerio, darling. Love you. You know what's really creepy is that she only blinked once. Oh, the open stare the whole time? Yeah.

That's hard to do. That is hard to do. There's one. Oh, sorry. I guess I caught her on a. Your mouth. Not actually. But there's a while without.

And I probably count way off. Sorry. Towards the end, I was like, she hasn't blinked in a while. And, you know, on your face and on your chest and, you know, stuff like that. Since I actually love you a lot. I like that she thought of the poop as a gift. Sure. Yeah.

Right. Most people wouldn't. Yeah. I do want to give me a gift. Is that what you're saying? Well, it makes me kind of reevaluate what gifts are. Maybe I could give you a poopy gift sometime. I think you already do.

Kisses. You do. That's what your farts are. Yeah. That's kind of sweet. It is kind of sweet. I like that you said this is probably the first person with something wrong mentally that we're making.

I just never occurred to me that a lot of them probably something's going on. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think so. This one's clearly not well. Somebody sent me a video to check out this dude. His name is Crazy Lokes. And he's putting it down like a beast in Walmart.

You got to check this guy out. Yeah. What's up homies? Yeah. It's Crazy Lokes right here. Homie. Uh huh. No I'm saying.

Yeah. For reals though. God is good homie. Yeah. Crazy Lokes got to keep things pushing homie. You know what I'm saying? For reals though. Now.

Yeah. I don't know if you think he has mental problems. I'd say yeah. Right off the bat you say yeah. Yeah. He just seems excited to be at Walmart making a video. So he set up his camera on obviously a merchandise shelf and is kind of swaying back and forth, touching his ponytail.

Yeah. And he said, you know, God is real, you know what I'm saying? And it's, you can tell that he's ramping up to something. You know, it's, it's beginning. The wheels are just starting to turn. I wonder why the theme of Walmart, why, why necessarily. He's putting it down like a beast in Walmart. Right.

What's, what's the Walmart connection? There's, there's other customers walking by that notice the Crazy Lokes is putting it down. Yeah. From now until the end of time, homie. No saying for reals though. Homie. All right.

Chuggles out to everybody doing their thing and stuff like that. So he shouts out to everybody doing their thing. Right. And stuff like that. Literally a shout out to everybody in humanity. The whole world. Yeah. That's a nice shout out.

Okay. You know, straight up though. Shoot. Shoot. Let me, let me give y'all a little bit of shadow boxing for Crazy Lokes. Whoa. No saying for reals though. Okay.

Now he is. What's happening here? Straight up putting on a clinic. I mean, he's giving you upper hands, giving you hooks, jacks. He's giving you the biz. Oh shit. He did an upper cup. Damn.

He's dipping down, moving all around. Now you'll notice he has kind of a paraplegic guys grip. Yeah. It's not normal. It's not, it's not a normal fist. I mean, I don't know what you know about. Well, not a lot, but I do know that when you make a fist and you punch, it should be like straight.

And you know it shouldn't be like this. You'd never hold your thumbs. Hold your thumbs and not. Not, yeah. Yeah. It's very, it's a peculiar way of making a fist. Yeah. He's really.

He's definitely putting it down like a beast right now. Like a beast. I mean, wow. He's intense. We're inside Walmart, baby. Okay. Well, I'm just glad I'm not at that Walmart. Oh.

Upper cut. Yeah. You know how you get rid of Mayweather shoulder roll? Go to the side like that. Damn. Damn. Yeah. I would say he's not very technically sound.

No. But he has ideas. Hutzpah. Spark. Good for him. I want my dupe out of wind against Mayweather's on May 2nd. He just literally punch once like this. Yeah.

He did a straight up, a press, a straight press over his head as one of his punches. No punch exists. It's almost like he's like a king of improv when it comes to punches. I was going to say. I've never seen a punch like that. Has he trained with Steven Seagal? It's a good question. I mean.

This looks like the Steven Seagal school of kicky punching. Here's what amazed me. Making a sound effect. Yeah. The sound, how do you learn the sound effects? You know what I mean? Crazy Lowe's right here. I said I was going to give y'all no more videos, but Crazy Lowe's just living like

a beast. Oh God. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. For reals though. Yeah, buddy. You know? Shout goes out to everybody.

Everybody doing their thing. Doing their thing. Stuff like that. And it's dying. In the game. We're going to keep everything pushing. Mm-hmm. You know?

Mm-hmm. For reals though. No. Yeah. From the training to the rapping. Oh. You know? Okay.

So do you sense mental illness or not? On this one? Yeah. It's not right. So one thing I noticed was how bad his punching was. Mm-hmm. And then this motherfucker is in a proper gym. He looks great.

Is he a fighter? No. There's no way. Is he a legitimate? No. Well, then why does he? He looks official. Okay.

Now watch the box. Oh no. I don't know what's going on. Oh jeez. Even I know that's not good form. And I'm not a professional. And I feel like what I don't know is this guy, like the guy that walks the retarded kid to the bus stop, you know?

Oh my God, babe. No, I'm saying like is this guy being nice to him? Yeah. I think it's a mercy. You think so? Because he's kind of, he's got the headgear on. He's like, oh yeah. Aw, looks.

I mean, look, this is some bullshit right here. What? Yeah. I mean. What? What? You know, he's, he's touched. He's not touched.

Crazy look spars with smooth hands coming in angles. What? What? It's so bizarre. What? Okay. There's a lot of him fighting. Yeah.

He likes to fight. Look at the name. The name of this video is Crazy Lokes sparring with Homie with a lot of heart which made Crazy Lokes hold back. Aw. So he's saying like, because this guy had heart, I'm not giving him the full business right now. Okay.

Crazy Lokes. But like this is, you know, it's technically horrific. Right. What was he just doing right there? He's skip, skip, skipping. He's still, but he's still, he's still more active than Steven Seagal. Yeah. This is more than he does.

He's definitely more than he does and definitely more than I do. And I want to say this though. I want to challenge Crazy Lokes. What? I want to challenge Crazy Lokes. Oh, okay. Crazy Lokes. What else?

You know what I'm saying? We're putting it down right now. You know, shout out to you and everybody all over the world and stuff like that. If you want to go into the ring with me, I don't train. I'm not a trained fighter. I would love to challenge you to a fight for charity. We can donate. Look at that footwork though.

You're going to fuck with that footwork. Look at that. I will challenge you. I will donate. We can donate the money to charity and I bet I will knock your ass out. So it's up to you at home, boy. You just tell me where you want to meet, what ring to go to and what's that move? This is all advanced shit.

Shoulder rolls and stuff. Man, I would love for you to either challenge this guy or train with it. I just did. No, I know. Like to, or maybe he could train you. I will light your ass up and I'm challenging you right now. Just tell me when you want to do it. Like I said, we can sell tickets.

We can give the money to charity because you're probably a gracious dude like that. And you know, crazy looks. I mean, I want to, I want you to put it down. Maybe we could do it at a Walmart. Maybe that would be a good. Oh, oh shit. Here's you at Mickey D's. What are you doing here?

It's up to my thugs pushing in the game and stuff like that. We going to maintain and stuff like that. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Straight up though. Shoot. Praise the Lord.

Just chillin. You know, gonna spit for my fans and stuff like that. Do it for the love because y'all be, you know, on site and giving me the love and I love spitting for y'all just for them. Maybe he's one of those deceptive fighters and deceptively talented. Right. Right. You put it on a video.

You go, this dude ain't shit. And then you show up with game time. He's just like, pop, pop, pop. And he's just tagging me and I'll take the L. I'll take the L if I have to. I will. But I'm just putting it out there that I think it would be good, you know what I'm saying? Stuff like that for us to do it.

So why not reach out? People. I can't believe it. If you listen to the show, hit up Crazy Lokes. If you don't know his YouTube channel is Crazy Lokes, but Lokes L O C S and crazy is C A C R A Z I E crazy looks. So time to throw right down the gauntlet to Crazy Lokes, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, represent all the homies doing your stuff, which just goes to show how empty those phrases

are. Yeah. They don't mean anything. Shout out. And homies doing your thing. It's all nonsense. What the fuck are you talking about? This guy doesn't know.

You're nonsense. Yeah. It's all rambling. Nonsensical motherfuckers. But this is a whole new, you know what I'm saying? I feel like Crazy Lokes has his own lane. Yes. The Crazy Lokes, you know what I'm saying?

I'm not going to fight him, by the way. Last week I played for you. I'm living the whatever the fuck I want like kind of McGregor. He lost. He lost over the weekend. It's upsetting. It was a huge upset. Nate Diaz took the fight on 10 days notice, beat Conor McGregor for the first loss and

then Holly Holm, who knocked out your home girl, Rhonda Rousey. She was choked unconscious by Misha Tate. The two huge upsets on the same card. If you had bet $100 Parley that Misha Tate and Nate Diaz would win, you would have won a little over $1,400 at most Las Vegas betting houses. Pretty good stuff. Well, I love Rhonda Rousey. I just think she's wonderful.

She's a real neat lady. I really like her. I like to see her win. I hope she challenges that lady again. Yeah. Well, I think what'll happen is I think the UFC, you know, they don't want to waste time making money. So I think I think with Misha being the new champ and Rhonda still being every, you know,

a lot of people, so they want to see what's up. I think they're going to put those two together at a big fight coming up. What just fight was that? Was that 196 or I forget that it was 196, right? So maybe like the big 200, something like that. Maybe. I would imagine that that's what they're going to do. That's exciting.

Well, crazy looks. There we go. Front of new, you know, saying stuff like that. This is nonsense. I've been wanting to show you this for a while. Okay. Oh. Oh, is this?

Well, there's some other stuff on the right there. We probably can't. Hi. I'm Kim Ann and I'm here to film and this is such a beautiful villa. We're sitting with the first time of my ever experience in my life with two young men and they have big heart, heart, cock to offer me. This villa is really quaint place. It's very quaint.

It's important that we know the quaintness of the villa where she's getting rammed by two guys. Can I tell you what I do love about Kim Ann? Yes. Positive. Always looking on the bright side. She's not, you know what I mean? The villa is beautiful.

Looker. Yeah. No, I looked up some stuff, by the way, because last week we were talking about what's the story. Yeah. In my theory, my theory was that she used to be maybe heavily pursued and that maybe now she wants a little charge in her life, a little adventure, because she's getting older and she's like, well, I probably still have a few years left where I'm holding it

together. Might as well just go all out. And then I found this interview, this is another interview with her and we've learned a little bit about her in this. I pulled it up to this moment. So we're going to know her backstory. A little bit. A little bit.

Yeah. First of all, I got to say, look at her tits. Her body is amazing. That's great. She's 61 years old. It's incredible. She looks better than me. Look at her abs.

Crazy. Oh my God. Crazy. Jesus, these Asian ladies, I tell you. They hold together well. God. White ladies, we fall apart. Yeah.

Fuck. White ladies. That's true. We hit the wall. 40's the wall. Fucking white ladies. Tits are sogging. Wrinkles.

Here we go. God damn. So Kim is here. Oh, boy. All the way from the Midwest, right? Yes. By the way, the guy. Look at her fan.

She's such a lady. Yeah. The guy that does this in every porn, the interview guy, they're always the worst. Yeah. You can imagine what creeps they are by their voice. Well, and they're always kind of shitting on the girls. There's always a tone of like, stupid bitch. Yeah.

Instead of being like, no, no, no, you should be nice to her. She's making sure you have a fucking gig retard. Yeah. Be nice. Yeah, yeah. Why do you have to demean them? They're mean enough. They also try out.

They do like a lot of dad jokes, like boner jokes. Yeah. She's here with her husband. She's here with her husband. You've been married for how many years? Five years. Five years. Five years.

So Kim, why don't you ask me this? Your husband watching you have sex. Is that common, unusual? Is this the first time it's ever happened, or? Ever happened? This is our... I feel like it sounds like Bababooie. Oh, right.

The guy. I got a picture of him. This is the pre-interview shit that he does. He's nervous and horny and weird. First time. And of course, it's my first time that my husband observed what I'm doing. Observe. What you're doing.

What you're doing. What you're doing. Yeah, gross. I feel that for him is really exciting. Yeah. For me, I feel that it's maybe testing my own strength. Testing your own strength. What can I do?

Did you enjoy it while you were doing it? Can I say what I like about her? Are you testing the strength of her asshole? Asshole. Yeah. Yes. Sorry, I didn't know you were going to play that. I wish I hadn't said it.

Asshole. Yes. But she's really not a ding-dong. This chick is smarter. Yeah, she's not your average porno girl. No, no. Look how thoughtful her answers are. Well, she's lived a full life, too.

A full life? Yeah. Nine inches, press. What is wrong with you? That's not what she said. You don't hear her saying it like that? No, no. I'm going to pull that up in a moment to prove that you're wrong.

It's so horrible. She's very bright. She's brighter than the asshole interviewing her. Oh, without questions. Yeah, she could fucking school that guy. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I'm glad to hear that.

Okay, were you good at it? I'm not sure. It's very honest, right? Yes, she's so thoughtful. I think someone other people have to be the judge of that. That's a very good answer. While I'm doing it, I feel super good. Yeah.

And that's what everybody's kept on asking me. How are you doing? I always answer, I'm up there. Out there. I'm not down here yet. Okay, there's a sure way to know if you're doing it right. Okay. At the end of your scene with a guy,

did he come? At the end? Yes. You did it. Congratulations, you succeeded. Oh, congrats. You made a guy come. Wow.

Okay, so you said you like to kind of like live at the age. Did he come? Yeah, I would have done. Now, we can tell the guys that you're how old? Yeah. Yeah. Have you always been that way? Nice.

Nice. Monster. You can tell he has 10th degree dad mouth. Yeah. You can hear the sourness in his voice. Yeah, I agree. Got a real rocking body. And you made him come real hard.

Yeah. First of all, like making a guy come is that big of a deal. Did he come at the end of it? That's stupid. I feel that I always be as such. So now to prove to you. I like her even more now. She's the best dude.

She's a wonderful lady. And I was truly amazed. This is the, It's really, really comfortable with a lot of artifacts inside out. I feel really, really comfortable

of being outside. And especially with the two gentlemen who really treat me very special. Oh, she thinks that's love. The ultimate goal is to really

get them to be really, really hot. And I feel that me, Kimon, have a lot to offer. You do, girl. Look at her positive self-esteem. This girl is like the Aristotle of porno.

For some reason in this video, though, I just feel like I'm talking to my friend's aunt. It's not that I feel like oh, you're not attractive. It's just that she just feels maternal. She is. She's all good. My first grandma.

I'm a little bit shaking. Oh, this is a nice lady. I go with it. I feel really satisfied with my whole body being caressed. You're like, wait, wait, what? Being

kissed and say beautiful words. I don't think they did all that to her. They're touched. And I feel very, very excited. It's really unexpected. We can't show it on YouTube, but I feel like if we could splice

in the actual scene. It's not that. It's not what she's describing. At all. The physical end of it, I feel that they have really, really big cock. Nine and a half inches and plus. Plus.

Plus. I have never expected to have such a beautiful experience. She said plus. Beautiful experience. I was so hot with them, especially

on the scene that they put the hard cock into my asshole. It's so this is like, especially on the scene that they put the hard cock

into my asshole. She's pleading. Yeah. It's just so into it. Yeah. Plus. Plus, she said right there. The physical end of it, I think they have

really, really big cock. Nine and a half inches and plus. Plus. No, she doesn't say plus. She doesn't say press. Press. Maybe you need to get these switched out because I'm here in press.

You're so mean. That's what it is. It's Ernest. I've never seen a porn star be Ernest. Well, let's see how sweet this scene is. You're right. They're not gentlemen and they're not being nice. I hate when they

finger it so aggressively like that no one, no one's one. Oops. Okay. Wait, this is just off her shoes. Scramming. What's going on? What animals?

Animals. Animals is right. We're just animals. I think she's really going after her most repressed feelings for 50 years. She's 60 something years old

and she's taking a cock and batting it against her tongue as another guy rails her. She's been holding on to something. She's been making up for lost time. She was held as like a slave in a Thai kingdom. I don't know, man. Maybe she was a slave.

She hasn't been around gentlemen like that. Maybe she's been working at the Thai massage place for 20 plus years and sleeping on a cot in the back microwaving her smelly food. Smelly food where you walk in and you're like, doesn't really smell like eucalyptus. What's it smell like? Yellow curry?

All the Thai massage places smell like their lunches. Maybe it's 20 years of her going more pressure and you want to feel the more pressure and she got sick of it. Maybe, man. Maybe. She realized after

20 plus years, you know. I'm proud to have come out as polyamorous and now I'm excited to share that I'm bisexual. I'm excited to share. I'm poly and I'm bi. That was one of my favorites

and your dad went, all right, buddy. All right, buddy. Yeah, buddy. Dad, buddy. Hey, I got to tell you something. What's that? I'm poly and I'm bi. What's that? I'm poly and I'm bi.

I don't have the part where he goes, all right. All right. I'm poly and bi. If I told that to my dad, he would not register. No clue. What if you explained it? Yeah, but he doesn't know bi. He knows ACDC.

That's how people his age and Europeans say ACDC. Means poly and bi? Bi. But he doesn't know. I don't think he knows bi. So what if you said I'm ACDC? Then he would know. But what would he think? He'd go, oh, yeah. That's interesting. Okay.

He wouldn't be supportive. That's fucking weird. Maybe you go to a doctor and check out your head a little bit. Yeah. New gay? No. My favorite is the old school thing of somebody saying something and someone goes, maybe he's going to talk to somebody like, like that it couldn't be real.

It's got to be something's wrong with you. Yeah. Go fix yourself. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I just see he was wrong. Watch this bullshit. So, I pulled this up because this guy has the same name as our son. No.

I was sent this. I like that the video is called, oh, this is, no, this is the wrong thing, actually. This is the remix. Oh, Jesus. It's going to be a good one. There's already a remix. So this is Ellis Langster, a few, I guess it's a few years ago,

at a post-game press conference and he's tripping out. I don't know why that makes me laugh, but... Tripping out, man. He's tripping out right now. He's tripping out right now, man. So they're asking at all. Yes, sir.

Like, um, like, um, I just, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, I was, um, like, um, um, like, um, I was, um, just, um, like, um, I was, I was, I was just reading, right? What?

What happened? What happened there, you think? I think he's nervous. I think it's, I think he's nervous. You know, look, these guys are not public speakers. He's an athlete. True. And I actually support that 100% that idea that you, you know,

if somebody, um, underwhelms you at their communication skills and their job is something else. It's not your job, sweetie. It's not. It's not your job. But that being said,

the other guys on the team know, like, hey, Ellis, not so good on the mic. So maybe we shouldn't, maybe we shouldn't let this guy talk for the team. Every one of these teams, by the way, has a PR person. They know everybody's strengths. They know every part.

They know that Ellis on the mic is going to be a problem, bro. So, like, if, bruh, bruh, if you're going to put Ellis in front of a mic, you want to talk some shit, it's going to go down, okay?

Because you can talk some shit. Ellis, Ellis, man, you like, um, like, um, like, um, if you, like, if you put, like, um, if you put Ellis on the mic, like, um, it's going to go poorly, man. I worked with a guy that had that same

thing. Like a little tick? He'd be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like Christina, you want to be like, like, like, upload, like, um, do you think that this is a tick? Is that what it is? Yeah, it's some kind of a nervous tick, sure. It's like saying, like, what do you say in California?

Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I got a problem with like. I got a problem with like, too. You know what I'm saying? Shit. I would say that out to everybody filming. I have a like problem, but nothing like his like um problem. Like, um, like, um,

like, um, like, um, like, um, like, so do you think would this constitute us making fun of somebody with a problem like that? You were talking about he's not touched. I don't think he's special. No, no.

I think he's nervous and he doesn't know what the fuck to say. Yeah, it happens. Yeah. You know, Mike's on him. Do you think this guy has a problem? That's that's that's our URL.

That's our, well, here's our mom. Now that guy, but he has something going on, but then Ellis, like, um, like, um, like, um,

like, um, I was on just um, I was, I was just reading, right? I was on just reading my man or whatever. And I had and he had, I can't put Ellis on a mic, man. He had on through the ball to my man. Maybe, maybe Ellis shouldn't speak.

Pick it up. Okay. Yeah. Yes, sir. Maybe he should just do yes and no answers. Correct. He's nailed that twice. Right. He did. On the positive side, Ellis, you can answer yes and no pretty well.

Yes, sir. That's part, man. Just all the other words aren't really working. I just remember too. We also found auntie Fifi. Remember her? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, and angels fallatio secrets. Yeah. We brought her to angels are auntie Fifi

where she sings. There's two. There's auntie Fee. I think who does the baking. We're talking about auntie Fifi who's the religious lady from Texas who sings things that don't even always add up. Yeah. We haven't checked in with her lately and I looked on her Facebook. I didn't see any new video, so she may have stopped

doing the music. She's like, today I was thinking, oh, Madonna. Yeah, yeah. She's a little out there. She's great. Um, but this one. PLP. Oh, yeah. Let's see if he can do the second question. Oh, Christ.

He's tripping out right now. Tripping out. That's so funny. He's tripping. That they're just dismissing that like his whole thing is like, he's bugging out that. Yeah. Long stuff.

It's got like a like, um, I just been working hard and, um, just, um, been praying and stuff and it's, um, and it's, um, coming to me. Did you think you were going to get to the end on the end of one of those 50 after the four or twice? So what were you

trying to do? I was trying to get to the six. Yeah, now he's good. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Like, um, I was like, oh, there he goes. I was seven round pigs. So like, um,

what tripped him up? What do you think sends him into the spiral? It's just wanting to, you know, where is it here? Just wanting to to I was this arena, right? People saying, what's the sound like?

He knows what he's saying, knows that he's in front of people, gets nervous about it and then his like, um, things over. He's like, um, like, um, I just like, um, like, um, like, um,

like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, like, um, I just like, um, um,

like, um, I this body. Right. Like, um, like, um,

I just like, um like, um, um, like, um, man. Like, um,

he's got like, uh, western European. He's probably Austrian or Dutch. Yeah. Crazy. This reminds me. This reminds me of Rodman when he was in North Korea.

Oh my god. Watch this. And the whole team was like, Dude, could you fucking dial it back? Yeah. Don't let, don't let. Watch this. That's the interview.

Watch this bullshit. Yeah. He, um, that was definitely not his best day. So, speaking of the king of improv. Yeah.

There's a new, um, Steven Seagal. Where is it? Trailer. You're kidding. No. Didn't we just see a new Steven Seagal trailer? The answer to that would be

Yes. But I mean, I am the king of improv if you forgive my saying so. Naturally, naturally. This is such a piece of shit that I'm about to show you.

And again, if you're listening to the show, I encourage you to look it up, but you can also watch it with us. You can go to our YouTube channel. We are on YouTube. We're watching this on a monitor that you can see with us. This trailer

is called The Asian Connection. Um, it's brand new. Okay. The Asian, isn't that like a, it's a pretty common title, like The Asian Connect, The European Italian Connection. The French Connection is a very, very famous movie. Okay.

So they really went out on a limb to find something else there. Well, this must be a play on that film. Yes. That's an exceptional film. I don't think this is going to be exceptional too. I've seen this, and this is a fucking dog turd. Um, I mean, okay.

The last one was like the, remember the Iraqi Afghanistan one that they shot in Calabasas. And this one, man, just Well, the premise of that film was just shoot, shoot, shoot, bang, bang. Steven Seagal kills people. So what do you think this one's going to be?

There's a lot, a lot of he holds up to his improv. In the trailer, you go, he improvised that. Yeah. I think there's a lot of improv. Okay. Yeah. So, see, it just went up the first hole, not down to the other one. You gotta get, you gotta get your ass

a little snipped in. I do. Okay. Let's, um, let's run through this room. Oh, I'm really excited. Okay. Here we go. Oh, Jesus Christ. Let's go Steven Seagal. There's not enough room for the most of us.

One of us has to die. So, he's standing still. The other guy is doing all the work. It's just, you can, yes, he he fights. Yeah. Totally still. They also, they make sure to shoot it where you don't see how fatty is. Of course. You know, and that

is very, believe me, old black die makes sure that he's just like shoot from the ceiling and cut around me. Yeah. That and the fat, the Chinese guy outfit he's wearing, what does that call the ghee? I don't know. Well, this is very

forgiving. This outfit is basically pajamas. It's thick. It's heavy. It covers the flaws. Yeah. And it's all black. The medallion, I don't know. He's got, he's got on his, his range glasses, his gun range glasses, yellow tint. Sure. Blacker than black

die for the goatee. Head wrap covering up. Yeah. The jet black die hair on top. Well, that means one of us has to die. So there's a premise of the film is that he's going to kill people. Yeah. Not enough room for the boss of us. That means

one of us has to die. You're out of practice, my old friend. He's from the crazy loge school of fighting. Oh, he is. These titles look better than the other one. Yes. He paid for the title.

Now, I want to point out something. It says Michael J. White is in there. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. And should Jack you know that guy, you know that guy? Is this, is this a Pimp Poo Bear? Poo Bear. Do I have the Michael J.

White one in there or no? It's the one right before. It is. Okay. Telling Harry. Yeah, I don't know why I can't. Okay. Or 60 press milfs. There, right? No. Getting to know Kimmy.

Maybe it's not on here. No. Hmm. Make a bridge and get over it. Make a bridge and get over it. Okay. All right. All right. Well, anyways, make note of Michael J. White. Okay.

Michael J. We're good. We're good. We're good. Let's go. Also. Yeah. For a trailer. Yeah. Like the pacing on this thing is so fucking slow. Yeah. Like it's an action trailer. Right. So it should be, it's a robbery cut to

BAM BAM money. Yeah. Like, let's go. We don't need to see all this. Walking in. We're going to take everything now. We're going to take everything. We're going to take everything. We're going to take everything. We're going to take everything now.

Shoot, shoot, shoot. Show them going into the room. Grabbing the bag. Is this the bank? Yeah. Look, it's a four and a half, four minutes, 12 second trailer. How long should a trailer be? 90 seconds is usually the standard. And then long trailers are considered

two minutes, maybe a little over two minutes. That's a long trailer. Yeah. This is, this is... You see 30 second trailers sometimes. This is because, and you know why, he's all himself. Self-indulgent. Yes. And he's standing behind the editor at the edit bay going, oh no, you got to put in

the longer, you got to put me in doing this and that. What happened to the shot of me standing there? I'm like, no, we didn't think that would... I said put it fucking in. Yeah. Stephen thinks that he's the director. I guarantee that's why. Oh yeah. You know what people like to see

what's happening in the movie. So look, this is just getting started, man. Yeah. And who the fuck are these guys? Who cares? What is that? That is why you don't have to work at the club anymore. See, that could have been...

Quick beat. Yeah. Robbery. Don't ask me where, how and why because I love you. We get it. And see how he's standing like the Buddha. He's always like... But it showed them walking up.

Like you just cut to... Yes. You don't need in the trailer to establish that. No. You need that in the movie. Right. In the movie we need to see where are we for context. But trailer, you just cut to this line. And usually they tell you where you're located. They would say

Vietnam or whatever, where they're shooting this. Yeah. Your money was robbed. They get away with about $200,000. U.S. dollars. Aren't you the mother fucker that told me that that's the safest place to put my money? Wow. A Tod grain. Aren't you the mother fucker that told me?

He put a little hot sauce on it. He did. And he did eyebrow-acting. Aren't you the mother fucker- He didn't say aren't you the mother fucker. He said aren't you the mother fucker? Aren't you the mother fucker that told me to put my money there. He put some swag on it.

Aren't you the mother fucker that told me that that's the safest place, isn't it? Aren't you the mother fucker that told me that that's the safest place to put my money? He's ridiculous. Stories about how easy it's going to be. I just want fucking results. Two fucks.

And the sound mixing. Where you can barely hear him talking. Terrible. As the angelic singing background over this, so there are three of them are mixed together. Horrible. I just want to see fucking results. This is a new level for him.

This is usually you see actors doing stuff like this once they're full-blown alcoholics. Right. And they had a career like 30 years ago. And they do the straight to DVD thing. This is his Gerard de Perdue wine day.

He's at the end. I just want to see fucking results. Fucking results. And they're like Steve, I don't know if we should curse too much. Shit the fuck up. I don't want to hear any stories about how easy it's going to be. I just want fucking results. It's bad.

I want to give you the names of the banks in Cambodia that you're going to rob for my service 50% of the people. It makes no sense. That's a weird moment too. I'm going to tell you where to rob banks.

And he just went to Steve in a beat before and was like, my banks are being robbed. And then his fee for telling the guy where to rob is 50%. So he's robbing his own banks, but now he's having Steve and Seagal

find out who's robbing the banks? I don't know. I want to buy some heat. That's Michael's IY. Guns man. Bam. Yeah. You know I like you Jack.

Hope you're not getting it over here. Everybody down. What do you fucking know? Another fuck. The guard is killed. What are you getting? It's a matter of you. The guard.

Did you see that? Yeah, there's a little sexy playful time. And I think that's the girl that's dating the bank robber, right? Was the girl. Who you know knows a lot of special sexual techniques. Of course.

He studied all the eastern techniques of lovemaking. I think he'd be like, well, if you leave your girl in my hands, she's going to come out of her butthole for sure. You ever come from your butthole? Yeah, Steve and Seagal can make you

come from your butthole. I'll fuck you real good. Geez. You're gonna paint him brown with all that butthole juice. I think he's definitely what's going on with you today. Okay.

You know what? We should do all right, down for later. Butthole. Oh, yeah. I want to talk a little bit about the white tiger's practices because in this DVD we're using some of the techniques from that practice.

I practiced as a white tiger for about a year. And one of the premises, there's a lot to the practice. It's a lot to play. Calm on your face. He knows about white tiger's practice. I bet he does. I love that scene.

It's such a typical scene from an action film where he's training in Gong Fu. He's training the girl. The two of them are training. It's like the Matrix does it. It's the Karate Kid moment. The Mr. Miyagi moment. Open, open.

This was shot. It makes no sense. This is how this went. They said, we have an idea for a movie. And we want you to be in it, Stephen. Well, tell me about it. Well, you're going to be this badass and you're going to kill the other boss

and you're going to make this girl come out of her butt and you're going to, you know, all this crazy shit. I'm listening. Go ahead. The problem is all we have right now are iPhones to shoot it on. He goes, it's not a problem. And they go, you sure?

Well, the thing is, we need to raise financing to make this movie. I'll pay for it. No shit. I give you $1,000. And then they're like, okay. That's enough to buy chargers for all the iPhones that made this film.

And then to edit it in iMovie. Comes with your fucking iPhone. And then they're like, you know what? I'm going to make this movie now. He was like, make the fucking movie. Make the fucking movie. What the fuck? A lot of missed shots.

Geez. None of the bullets are ricocheting off anything. None of them are hitting glass. No, no, it's terrible. That guy's down. I don't know who these two are. I don't know. Imagine if they just play this trailer

on the radio. In the movie trailers. You'd be like, what the fuck? Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And also, when does this ever end? This ever, ever end. No, we're halfway through it. And this is the longest trailer of my life.

And not only that, usually when there's a motorcycle scene, they'll play the audio. They didn't even bother putting the audio of the motorcycle going fast. And they used the same effect for the gun. So none of the guns. It's all...

And then he pulls out a handgun. That guy, who the fuck is this guy? He's just fired a parkour athlete. Just run on that building and jump off of it. There's your motorcycle. There it is. Hey, for that. What?

He said, I want his fucking head in this tray by tomorrow. You can actually hear him say that. I couldn't hear because the audio was... Oh, because the mix is really cool. You look at the eyebrows. Look at him. Look at how crazy.

And his eyes are so bloated shut. You can barely see the eyes. Look, he's such a bloated, salty mess. And we're rolling. Where are my yellow sunglasses? Somebody get Stephen's sunglasses. How drunk was he the night before? And he was eating all kinds of shit.

Look how black this is. He is fucked. Look how black this is. So dark. He's out of his mind. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, Niren. I don't even want to know how this ends.

You know why? Because there's a fucking minute and a half to go. Look how bad that is too. It's like splatter paint. Oh, I gave you a thousand bucks. Catch it from the crafty table. Oh, this is the guy that was just on the telephone. The only reason I know that is because of the tattoo.

He was on the phone? I don't want to look over my back, Niren. Look, if you throw some hot coffee on him, he'll look like old blood. Hot coffee. He'll be in pain. Look at this. Listen to me.

I've made 55,000 movies. He's a piece of shit. What's going to happen? I don't even want to know. Can we just forward a little? I got to know. You think we can put it together? Just mystery?

I'm going to jump ahead. We're at 248. I'm going to jump all the way one minute ahead. This isn't the subtlety of Downton Abbey. Something crazy. Same shit's happening. He's wearing black sunglasses indoors. This is terrible.

This is so bad. Why does he have this bandana? I don't know. I'm the king of wardrobe. Same outfit every scene. Bang, all the big bang. They saved the money for that. Coming soon.

Soonish. I don't know. Here's what I want to show you. I don't know. That is painful. Steven Seagal on Michael There we go.

This is it. They're in the movie together. I remember seeing this a while ago. Hollywood tough guy in your opinion. When you say tough guy, do you mean martial artists? or just tough guy? I mean, Steven, for real.

If he was on the street and there was a situation you wanted this Hollywood guy by your side because he could defend himself. Do you understand the question clearly? Just one moment. I got to point it out because I have the same problem with eye bags. Look at the bloated mess.

Yes. I know this because I have the same problem. This is diet. This is all night drinking, eating sausage pork rinds for breakfast. Look at the chins. It's a lot. This is all diet.

This is all what you put into your mouth. Yeah. Our buddy there He's asking him which Hollywood tough guy would you if you were in a real situation would you want

by your side? He's like Is that hot? Can you think of a legit one? Can you think of one? Can I Can I laugh in your face? Really?

Yes. Pretty crazy, right? Totally shit on him. But he's in the movie. I know, years later. Not years, but that was probably a couple years old. But I just thought it was interesting that he was like

Did you see his eye roll? He was like Can I laugh in your face? Can I? Wow. I really put him on blast. He put him on blizzast Blast?

Sure. Is there anything else I wanted to show you? Anything else we need to talk about? Yeah, there's tons. Look, I've got some other topics. First of all, huge news. We got a lot of emails translating that

juggalos clip from last week. Yes. That was pretty difficult to understand but if you missed last week I'll give you a little bit of a taste of this. I don't know.

I don't know what the fuck this guy was saying. What up? You blew a boy here and you might recognize this shirt. This is the same shirt Monoxide was wearing in the homies video. I believe Juicy J also wore it in a 3-6 mafia video too.

But anyways, that's not what the video is about. This video was about the dark carnival and how only real juggalos true down-ass real juggalos believe in a dark carnival, believe that the carnival is God and may all juggalos find them.

Motherfacko and the hatchet man. Anyways, we got some kind emails explaining from like former juggalos what this guy is talking about and I don't think you want to know. Do you want to hear a little bit? Sure.

One of my favorites was the six major albums that ICP came out with as a series and each joker card has a deity slash entity. The only one that did it was the first album called The Carnival of Carnage. Each of the characters performs something. No thanks. Thank you for the explanation.

But no thanks. I'm not sure we need to know what the juggalos are talking about. No, no, no, no. But thank you. I appreciate you guys looking out. That right there made my brain hurt so much. Thank you for the news. Our buddy Matt, shout out to Matt.

You know what I'm saying? Apparently there's a new flavor of shrimp nibbler at White Castle. Shout out to Matt. Your favorite treat, shrimp nibbler, is now available in Sriracha.

Can you think of anything more disgusting than Sriracha's shrimp nibbler? No. And out there right now, we have some interesting Sriracha. Would you rather songs

in a specific folder? Okay, so that's Blue Band right there in case you didn't know. Blue Band. So here's the would you rather tag. So as you know, we have

some copyright issues. We also need it for filler up. The filler up is a well known, I didn't know, but it's a well known mariachi.

That was really good. If you guys want your song to be the official, fill her up, seal her shut anthem, submit, send an email to yourmomspodcastatgmail.com and put fill her up anthem in the subject line.

Same thing here for would you rather so here's one that just came in here. Let's see how it is. This would mean that you hear this and it's would you rather time right? It's kind of chill. It's pretty chill. Nice. Would you rather

Would you rather Would you rather Would you rather I kind of like it. I like it. It's good. Do we have any other ones? Yeah, there should be a couple more in here, right? Okay, would you rather theme

here's another submission. Would you rather Would you rather Would you rather Would you rather Would you rather Would you rather Would you rather

It's got a good segmenty feel to it. Yeah, because the thing is the first one was great, but I think we need the energy to be a little higher because it's kind of a bag of chips moment. You know, it's bull horns, it's chips in a bowl. It's the feeling of

But I like mystery. What's it going to be? Tick tock, tick tock, right? That's good. Which do you choose, right? That's from Ryan Patrick. The first one was from Javier. Nice job, guys. And then another one came in here.

Another would you rather submission, let's see. Ooh, is that a knock? Yeah. That might be Drink the top layer. I like this. Oh, is this UPS?

It might be. Yeah, you may want to pause this. Oh, shit. Okay, that was obviously not the way I wanted to play that. We had a knock at the door and we needed to get it. So here it is again. Check this. This is another would you rather submission.

Drink the top layer. I'm an itchy asshole. It's time to play real sexual predator. It's time to play chunky. It's time to play just naughty build toilet paper. The urine from two dirty homeless men. It's time to bite my butt with your mucus. Homeless jar of biz.

I've been sexed with your sister. Takin' a face. Dinner strikes. The grandmother walks in on masturbating. Never have another orgasm. It's time to play. It's time to play.

It's time to play. This is it. This is the one. That's great. They've got the right tone. Listen, they're all stupendous. This is just for a segment. I think it's got the tone.

It's got the upbeatness. We're looking for the context too. Max Newman. Oh, that's our body, of course. Max Newman. This guy's home runs always, Max Newman. Come on now.

Where you been, bro? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, Max Newman. He did greasy E. Oh, God. He did. I just see an email from him right now.

No way. So I said that I wanted to make a song called Your Problems Make My Dicks Off. Right. For a long time. He submitted something. Oh man, we missed it. Yeah, he sent it like a month ago.

Genius. That's amazing. Genius. It's amazing. It's fantastic, man. This should be my dad's theme. This is awesome. That is his theme.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable, Max. That's amazing. That's so good, dude. What a talent this guy is. I think we're settled on, although I want to thank Javier and Ryan for their submissions.

Those are really good as well. But let's focus on the fill her up, seal her shut. We need some new music for that. I actually feel like it wouldn't be bad if we can keep it in that mariachi theme.

Yeah, I mean, why not stick to the roots? I think the roots of it are good. Some kind of Mexican flavor. Can we do that? Latin flavor? It would be fun. Mariachi is specifically Mexican? Yes, yes. Yeah, I'd like to keep it.

I like the K-Bat. I like the K-Bat. Is that it? Jeans? Anything else? Hold on. We covered the double pipe. That was a huge deal. We moved. We didn't even talk about that. I have a new vlog. That's big news.

Big news. It's on my YouTube page. Tom, Cigara, Tom. Also, listen, let's cover it on the next episode. It's too big a topic. I don't want to do it at the very end. Okay. Hey, whisper it to me.

What is it? It's about the bidet. Oh, that's huge. Okay, we'll do that next time. Hold on. No, I can't wait. I can't wait. Shrimp nibblers, I covered that.

Okay. That was great. I thought that was a great show. It was. It was really fun. It's better the second time around. Look at those tetas. Man, I got to get her milkers on me. When I get my mom boob job, you know what I'm saying?

I get my soppers fixed. My big fucking sloppers. All right. Well, listen, this was fun. This was the second time we've done this show. Let's hope the audio sounds great. Second time's a charm. And I hope you enjoyed the YouTube version.

If you're watching with us, thank you for joining us. And we'll be back next week. Don't forget, yourbombshousepodcast.com, for new... Or for tickets to shows. Philadelphia is on sale now. The Trocadero Theater.

And Jeans is doing shows all over the Los Angeles general area. Go to 1000 Ranch.com for those. Since Max Newman blew us away with a new song, we'll take you back to one of Max's OG songs.

He also did one of the crazy sexual ones that we did, but I just found Greasy E. So why don't we do that? Is that my cunt? This is one of my favorites. I love this song. Oh, it's so good. Let's turn it up.

Dumb burn. Dumb burn. Dumb burn. Dumb burn. Dumb burn. Dumb burn. Dumb burn. Dumb burn.

Creasy, Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy.

Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy.

Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy.

Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy. Creasy.

Creasy. Thanks for watching.