Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 346-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 1, 2016

PATREON, I told you to put that down! Also, sign up for Patreon, ya'll! You'll get extra bonus content, inside denim access, personal shout outs and more!   WOW! say it again! WOW! Open your mouth so the whole dog can fit in the bathtub! Today we discover which gender we are (it's really changing at every moment). Plus Bert Is Fat and Why Is Bert So Fat really took off! We have all the fat comments.  Dental Updates, dating inflatable animals, Joey Diaz being a SAVAGE and more! NO LOOSE DENIM ALLOW

Attention, all genes. Attention, all genes. This is a special announcement. At the very end of this episode, after the closing song, please continue to listen for a very special update. Thank you, all genes up. Oh, you're taking your dad glasses off. You can see my dad eyes. You just took a dad dump. Sure did. How was cleanup? It was great. Why are you not sharing this dump? I feel like you're being very tight-lipped about it.

I'm not. It's normal. What do you mean? It's not normal. I went out to take care of business. I'm fine. I ran the bidet for a while and everything was fine. Was it a clean wipe? Yeah. Was there remnants on the paper? A little bit.

Was it mushy? What number was it? Very nice. Looks like a three. Three? Yeah. That's kind of lumpy, right? No. It's good. It's just dry. A little dry, right? I mean, it's in the ideal window. It's a little drier than it, you know, could be, but it's not bad.

Look what I fit into now. What's up, Karen? I'm fat in it, but I fit into it, which is great. I saw someone wearing this in La Jolla, and it was very jarring to see my husband's face on someone's chest. Yeah. And I'm like, sure. I'm not sure I should wear it. It's lighter.

Check it out. Check it out. You know what I'm saying? Okay. You know what I'm talking about? Feel me. You feel me? You know what I mean? Looks like I'll be in Urine, Permvine, California at the Improv June 9, 10, and 11. I think that you sent me... See, this is why I need to fucking... Here it is. Too many things open.

So that's coming up June 9, 10, 11. Then the week after, I have Gashville, Tennessee, Zanies, June 16, 17, and 18th, which is also your smirk day. Then West Nutsack, New York, June 23rd through 25th. Into July, I have shits on that Natty. Shits on that D. Shits on that D, Ohio, that was submitted. Not the best flow on that one. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to agree with you.

Shit on the Natty. No. Spit on her nasty. There you go. Good work. Spit on her nasty, Ohio. Wow. I'm doing the brand new Liberty Township. Good work. Funny bone.

Liberty Township. July 7, 8, and 9. This is about to end. July. July. July. July. July.

That's how my dad says it, too. What is this? That's not right, is it? No. That's like famous music. We shouldn't play. We shouldn't be playing. Then I have, what's the next week, babe?

I don't know. Where are you? Are you in August? No, July. July. July. I have Man Diego. Oh.

You were just down there. And everybody who came up to me was like, we're coming back to see Tommy. You're at the Ambulance. That's right. It's July 14th, 15th, and 16th. That's July 14th, July 15th, and July 16th. You've got to say July before, because people don't know. Yes.

And then St. Juleps, July 21st. St. Juleps? What's that? St. Louis? Juleps? Yeah. That's really. July 21st through 23rd.

Geez. St. Yeah. And it keeps on going. Go to tomscure.com. St. Louis. Juleps? That's good.

St. Louis. I work on it. Let me work on it. Yeah. I know. I mean, I'm going a bunch. You know, I got Coxhard coming up. Oxnard.

Oh. And I got Phil, her pelvis up, Pennsylvania. Good. Good. Good. Good. And I got Phil, her pelvis up, Pennsylvania. Good.

Good work. And fist my crack, New York. These are really good names. Phil, her pelvis up. That's the Trocadero. We added a show because the first one sold out. Please tell me you have some kind of a tour poster with all these names on it. Not yet.

It's a good idea. Good idea. Okay. What else you got, James? Well, I'm working on a tour for the fall. I'm doing a series of one-nighters. We're looking at Houston. We're looking at Dallas.

We're looking at Seattle. We're looking at Portland so far. And the dates aren't, I can't announce them yet, but keep on the lookout. Yeah. I'm excited to do it. Also, I'm at the comedy store now. Most Saturday nights, the 7.30 show in the OR. Generally, I do that one.

And you might see Mr. Seguera there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've been going there. Okay, Tommy. I went on Friday night. It was so fun, man.

The place was electric. So much fun. The comedy store is where it's at now, guys. It's popping off, man. If you're visiting LA and you want to know what to do with yourself, go down to the comedy store and you will see all of us hanging out there. It's just the most fun. The most fun.

But this Saturday, are you doing it Friday, maybe? I'm going to put it in my avail, so I'll try to get this right. Oh, okay. We'll check our Twitter. Yeah. Actually now. Akrishnipi at Tom Seguera. Yeah, but it'd be good.

Hey, do us this flavor. If you shop on Amazon, use our banner. Did you get scared? Yeah. I love when I scare you. It feels so good inside. Thank you very much to Kid Modus for the song, That One Night. Kid Modus.

I like it. On SoundCloud. Check them out. Yeah, use our Amazon banner. Did I mention it? You did. There's a thing now you can use a, they give buttons and you put buttons on the stuff you always buy.

You push it and then they just automatically, it automatically reorders for you. You have such an addiction. I never have to leave my house again. Yeah. So check it out. Oh, also, Patreon, put that down. Patreon starts June 1st, which is at most, if you're hearing this, you're waiting a few hours.

So it's patreon.com slash mom. Patreon.com slash mom. And Patreon is spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N. Is that correct? Patreon. Patreon, put that down. Patreon.com slash mom is going to give you extra access, bonus episodes. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Please check it out and join us on Patreon. And as Christina said, please support our Amazon, our Mama's on page. Go through the banner at yourmama'shousepodcast.com and buy what you were going to buy anyways. And we have Amazon Canada too. Somebody tweeted, do you guys do Canada? Yeah. So if you're Canadian and you live in Canada, you can just go through our Mama's on banner for Canada.

It's Amazon.ca. That's short for Canada. Also, check out That's Deep Bro if you haven't already. I talked about this week why my mind is an asshole. I'm reading Michael Singer's book, The Surrender Experiment. Yeah. And if you sleep on a mattress that's still dropped off on your front doorstep, you're Dirty and Disgusting.

By the way, my other podcast is called Charging to the Game. It's been getting better. You know, I had some hiccups. I've been working on it. We had Gibran Hamden on this past week, half Palestinian, half Pakistani football player that was a really interesting story. He started playing football as a senior in high school, went to the NFL, ended up going to the NFL.

Europe was the MVP over there. Now he has a clothing company. Really cool guy. This week, I have a major get for my football. Major. Yeah. We haven't recorded yet, but we have it set up. I don't want to announce who it is because that's how you screw yourself.

But it's a big, big get for the show. Very excited. Okay. So that's that. Charging to the game. Okay. Let's go all around. All right.

You ready to do this, Jeans? Yeah. Let's start our fart show. I'm Fumiko from the Facebook method. Kayla on Facebook told me that when she gets stressed, she grind her teeth at night. Her teeth. Oh, Kayla, you're not alone. I do that too.

And I know it's not good for my teeth either. Well, in this video, I will show you a very simple face exercise. You can do whatever you feel stressed. You can do this in a shower or in the curse of that nobody sees you and hears you. This is how you do it. A very exaggerated manner. Open your mouth and say, wow. Breathe out completely.

Let's try it together. 10 times. Ready? Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Hurts. Wow.

Wow. This is Big Time. Who is Ram? Don't bring anyone loving to this. You're loving to fucking dance! Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Don Segura talking to the suit.

Christina the jitsits. Christina the jitsits. Yeah. Christina the Jitsits. Welcome to your mom's house. It's really cool, babe. There have been cock-a-balls on you. Yeah, I see it.

Really mature. Really, really mature. Wow. Wow. Breeze out completely. Breeze out like the command school of yoga. Ready? Ready?

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. That's her. Wow. I don't like it. Wow. All right. Wow. Do you feel like...where is he?

Wow. She's got a very natural delivery on her YouTube video too. Ow. Look at the size of that mouth open. I know. You can put the whole dog in the bathtub, right? Okay. What are you feeling?

Okay. What is that from? What frat boy committee came up with that one? But are you feeling the bathtub? You could, right? Yeah. Cock and balls? Like all of it?

Yeah. Yeah. No, I understood what the dog in the bathtub was saying. Thank you for explaining it. Do you think you could get both balls in? Yeah. And the cock? It's unusual.

She does have a big mouth. Wow. Wow. How are you doing this? Oh, it's just on... Oh, man. I'm starting to get a little turned on right now. Oh, yeah.

Oh, geez. Oh, and then... This is stupid. And then I finish and she goes... Wow. Very childish. So disappointed. Yeah.

I was just thinking about... I was playing a song earlier, pun to pun to pun. All right. So... And you were like... You're like... Turn it off. And, you know, I'm just looking forward to going like on e-Harmony and maybe meeting

somebody that like... Just what I really click with. And, you know, we can listen to music together and just have fun. You mean like a 15-year-old girl? Why would she be 15? Because that's who listens to that ridiculous music. I think that's right. I tried listening to it.

It was really bad. It was so dumb. All right. What are you guys going to do? You and your 15-year-old girlfriend? You guys can watch the voice together and... And we could call in and vote at the same time. We were like, who could we vote for this week?

And we could be like... I could be like... I could be like... And she's like, yeah, I'm going to tell all my friends that you're like the best DJ ever. And they'll be like, I'm DJing a party. And she's like, yeah, we're all coming. We're just like, slide out.

That must be what it's like to really date like a 20-year-old when you're a 50 or 60-year-old person. Oh, right. That must be what it's like, right? And I'm like... And I got... Let's go to... What is that festival called?

Have you heard the big scandal, apparently? Rumor scandal? Is that this chick that Johnny Depp married to... Yeah, I read about that. Is like... Is a big blackmailer. Like this is all a conspiracy, you know? That she's faking...

Yeah. That he's beating her and all this stuff. I believe... I mean, Doug Stanhope came out and he's a comedian and we all trust comedians. He's friends with them. Yeah. He's good friends with them. He's saying that that's not true.

What have you ever known Johnny Depp to be a violent guy? Well, I mean, all the time that we hung out, he was always real chill. So, yeah. Well, he's so down to earth. No, I love Johnny Depp. Can I tell you? I don't think he beats her. I don't buy that.

You don't buy it? I don't think so. It does sound... That's not an issue. It is suspect, right? It's really like... Well, I mean, he's had so many other women in his life. Nobody's ever come forward.

It would have come out by now if he were a violent guy, right? And it was also interesting that they went to court. The wife, Amber, heard her name. She went to court and asked the court for all these things immediately. So, she got her restraining order because they grant those if you request them. Then she requested spousal support, denied. She requested... Right.

This is immediate. That doesn't mean that you're not going to get it in the divorce, but she requested he pay for her legal fees, denied. She requested their vehicle, denied. Interesting. So, the court rejected all those requests. Interesting. But she must be a real evil person to do something like that.

She cray. You can look at those eyes. I see those pictures. She cray. She's a little cray. She's beautiful, but bitch is crazy. That's really you. But I do...

I love Johnny Depp. I've always had a crush on Johnny Depp. Hello, the two of us. Since 21 Jump Street. I had a life-size post with him in my room growing up. But he is insufferable when you listen to him on the actor studio and he's like rolling his own black cigarettes and, you know, the craft, like talking the craft and all that horseshit.

But they all are insufferable. They all are insufferable to craft. The craft, yeah. Any of them. He gave that... No. He gave a speech... Pretending to be somebody else for a living.

It's such a challenge. Oh, my God. All that stuff is nauseating. He did... He got an award recently, I guess right before this all went down, where when he got the award, he thanked, you know, he's thanking people and he goes, I want to thank my wife, Amber, for dealing with all these characters I bring home. I know it's got to be difficult on her.

It's hard on me. Oh, my gosh. All these people that I'm inhabiting. That's why actors are not comics, because if you can't do it. No. How do I live with Tom Segwera, a talented comedian, with all these jokes and amazing things in your head? I know it's hard on you.

I mean, it's really hard on me. Being so funny and so talented. Oh, yeah. The thing is, I like that there's no pressure to be on when I'm home. I mean, everybody's like, Tom. Make me laugh. Make me laugh. Gosh.

Yeah. And I love giving to those people. It's my greatest joy. Spreading joy. It fills me with joy. Tom, tell a shit joke, please. Tom. Please.

That black dick joke. Do you have it still? Can I hear it? You do imagine if comedians talked about our process, the way actors talk about theirs. Oh, my God. Well, I wake up around 1 p.m. I just come on my stomach. I thought that's kind of drying in a funny way.

I should talk about that tonight. Exactly. I wiped and I wiped and I thought, there's a new bit. Right. Yeah. I mean, it's too much. Yeah. They're so serious, man.

So serious. But I guess you need it. You need serious and not so serious to live together for the not serious people to thrive. Really. It has to be against all the serious people. That's true. Because if we didn't have the Johnny Depps to make fun of, who would it be? I've actually Steven Seagal's.

Oh my God. I came to realization about, you know, I can't stand the offended people, but you still need them. You need to always be there. Otherwise I wouldn't have a career. You need someone to go. I can't believe you said that. Thank you.

Yeah. That's true. I'm saying God, there's not an inside the comedian studio. That would be so funny. Is there? Oh, there is. I guess my parents show. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw him. He was really fun. Yeah. I already show you usually with me. Yeah. I think in the OR sometimes. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh my God. Well, that is inside the comedian studio, but that's all we talk about is like depression and our shitty families. Our process. Oh my God. My process. So this was so funny.

I got to get in. Well, I'll show you this first. Wait, can we just announce that we're back on video because blue band. Oh my God. Do you know what this fucking guy did last week? What? So let me pull this up. He got sick.

He went and got sick. Yeah. He went and got sick like a fucking dumb bird. And so let me pull up our channel here. It's been getting bigger and bigger. Thank you for everybody that's been prescribing to it. And, you know, watching. Yeah.

So last week's episode goes up. It's episode 345, I think. Right. We've never, ever had this many thumbs down on a video. And it's because there's no video. It's just a video of the audio. Right. Jesus.

So let me. Oh, blue. There are 50. Oh, blue. Oh, blue. Oh, blue. Oh, blue. Oh, blue.

Oh, blue. Oh, blue. So let me. Oh, blue. There are 54 thumbs down. So it's never happened before. It's weird. For one of our episodes.

So blue band uploads this episode. Right. I sent him the file. He flies to his nest. He downloads it. Here it is here. And he says, due to genes being low and loose, there will be no video component. So, of course.

Good impulse. That's funny. Yeah. Well, except it's also very misleading. So I made sure to write here a little misleading that no video is attributed to low and loose genes. When in fact, it's because blue band got sick, his nest got infected by some cardinals and he's doing better.

But he wrote this on this vid genes are loose, not true. Bird is sick. Oh, okay. Because it's a very big distinction. That's a big distinction. That's true. So I just wanted to make that clear. But one, one could argue blue bands logic being that he got sick and therefore his genes became

low and loose. He should have, he should have put that in the text. I see. You don't want to mislead the listeners, the viewers. People could just think like, we don't feel like it. Our genes are loose this week. Oh, I see. So you didn't, you wanted.

Well, I want him to be like, I got bird AIDS. Fucking bird. You know, fucking bird flu. Bird. His brain's not that big. There you go. You feel better now. And you better better.

Okay. Stupid. Stupid. We're back. We're back in video. Bird is fat and that has been. Okay. I just wanted to address it before we forgot.

Cause we don't need to forget. First of all, a big shout out to the people who, who I think understood the distinction of just tweeting that to him without tagging us. Cause that way it's like, why am I getting these? Which I thought was great. Now some people ended up tagging us too, which is fine. But I really wanted to give a shout out to not tagging us because that is the idea of him waking up.

Why am I getting this? And like, once you see us tagging it, then he goes like, Oh, it's from them. These two idiots. Yeah. Yeah. The mysteries. It's better. Yeah.

Man. It went so much crazier than I could have ever imagined. It's the best thing ever. And then Instagram is Instagram in here too? Oh, oh my God. The Instagram is what I didn't even realize. So stay up off my Instagram. How does it go?

Sing Rihanna. God, thank you. That was cool. Sex with me is amazing. So we told you last week, right? Because I think what happened was I read a tweet from him where he called me fat. So I go. Oh, right.

It was not how it started. Is that how it started this whole? Well, we've been doing this kind of for a long time. I mean, we're years of. Well, it's been a years of who's fatter. You are. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's always, you know, it's always Bert. It's always Bert, but it's always a thing and it's fun. So I just last week we go send him a tweet and say, why are you so fat? And then, and then it became hashtag Bert is fat at the end. Right. Dude, not only did you guys send him maybe over a thousand tweets, but I got, okay. Some of these are just incredible. So that's really good.

So fat. Right. I like that. That looks delicious. So you started just every tweet, no matter what it has to do with anything have been tagging it. Bert is fat. Bert is fat.

Hashtag Bert is fat. Right. So you go all tweets are bird. Uh-oh. The full charge and I are fucking up the comedy store in La Jolla this weekend. You know, Bert is fat. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just, I think we should just all hashtag everything bird is no matter what, no matter what. Then people were doing a lot of Photoshop. The Photoshop's are my favorite Photoshop's are amazing. Oh, Vegas. Oh, Vegas 702. Vegas 702. Crushes.

She's always. She crushes. Always with the great tweets. The Photoshop stuff. Look at his face. Here's another one of hers. I think that's Joe. Is that Joey's body?

Especially that stupid grin on his face. Oh, I know. He has the best expressions for fat guy stuff. Yeah. Because his regular expressions always like, so you put that on like an enormous body. It's really amazing. Oh, Bert. Well, then he wrote, he tweeted cause he got after hundreds of them, he goes, just when

you think the joke is getting old and he, it was he tagged, he quoted as somebody who wrote breaking and it shows these scientists looking at something under a microscope. The nation's leading scientists are working around the clock to determine why bird is so fat. Then you put this up. I had so much fun tonight. More but non binary friends tomorrow night. Bird is fat.

Right. Oh, and I also got them all saying a video. Why is Bert so fat and I got people at La Jolla, somebody put the civil war stand up team Tom, team Bert, which side are you on? Oh, that's so funny. And they burp. By the way, I'm the number one fat shaming person today. Oh my God.

He put, I know exactly how Amy Schumer feels, I guess cause she had gotten, I don't know, some hatred or something. Or some fat shaming. I think she had a picture of her and a bikini and some tabloid, but she looked great. She's not fucking fat at all. This is like, no, she looks great. Yeah. This is how.

Bert's really, but let's be, let's be clear between Amy Schumer and Bert, Bert is legitimately fat. Oh, Bert, Bert's enormous. Yeah. Yeah. So Amy's not, Amy's normal. This is like, if you just looked up his name, yeah, he retweeted these, Bert, why are you so fat?

Just curious. Why are you so fat? I like those. Why are you so fat? Yeah. Just have a question. So like, is it a thyroid thing? Thyroid thing?

Why are you so fat? Hey, Bert Chrysler. Why are you so fat? Then two accounts started of Bert Chrysler. This one says breakfast tip, six Heineken's of less calories than three pancakes. You're trying to watch your weight. I put syrup in the Heineken's. Bert is fat.

Yeah. Six Heineken's of less calories than three pancakes. Oh man. Um, Bert Chrysler is the best too. Yeah. Oh man. So then I'm talking to him on the phone Saturday and I look at something on, on Instagram and I go, I'll just, you know, I pulled up his, here's the comments, brah, all the fat

man. Why are you so fat? Why the fuck are you so fucking fat? Whoa. Fat alert. Why are you so fat? So you guys went to his Instagram, Bert Chrysler, why are you so fucking fat? You are so fat.

Dude, it's all fatty, fat, fat, Bert. Why are you so fat? There's hundreds of comments on every picture and then he says, he has to post, of course, a shirtless picture of himself. Just asking for it. Why so fat? Why so fat? Huge fan.

But why are you so fat? Why are you so fat? God, you're fat. It's endless. And I got to say, my favorite thing I've, I've, I've been a part of in years is this. So much fun. He said that one of his daughters, I was posting on one of his things, he goes, sure, a lot of people calling you fat today, dad.

Oh, my God. So anyways, thank you so much for good work, guys, really outstanding work. That really was outstanding work. I mean, that one's my favorite, the breaking scientist or the breaking scientist thing is great. Yeah. And the photo shops are maze. Yeah.

It's really, you know, we challenged you and I think you just left over the challenge. Yeah. Above and beyond. Yeah. It's dangerous. Once we get the mommies on something, you better watch out. Watch yourself. Let's hope you don't get on the mommy's bad side.

No, I know. That is. I mean, that's on the good side. We love it. But that's, you know, so do you remember a while ago, the, the Trump song, right? Yeah. Yeah. China is the new China, by the way.

It's China to me. Me, me, me, me, me, me. China, China, China, China. China, China, China, China. China, China, China, China, China, China, China. China, China, China, China, China. China, China, China, China. China, China, China, China, China, China, China.

China, China, China, China, China, China. China, China, China, China, China, China, China, China. China, China. It's so good, it's great. That's by A fazernd and then I finally, this week we got a Hillary song right now we can go back and forth, check out this Hillary song, it's by Place Boing, really, really great work. Look, we came, we saw, he died, we came, we saw, he died, look, we came, we saw, he died,

look, we came, we saw, he died, look, we came, we saw, he died, it's not a laughing matter. I take it really seriously. A woman running to be the first woman president. I can't think of anything more of an outsider than electing the first woman president. It's amazing, right? It's so good. It's amazing.

I love her laughing. The clap is so horrible too, yeah. Really talented. It's really, really amazing. Good job. That's Place Boing who did that one. And then the, Trump has had, I didn't realize, has various China songs. China, China, China.

Yeah, so there's that one. China. Now, didn't you read about his hair? You're telling me some article you read on why it looks so horrible. What's the story with him? It's basically, they come to the conclusion, his hair is completely not natural, you know, obviously people are fixated on it. It looks terrible.

That it's a $60,000 weave. That he has an elaborate weave that he opted for this years ago when there was an option for him to do an obviously really expensive surgical one or non-surgical and he opted for the non-surgical, which is that fucking dead dog you see on his head today. Looks terrible. Yeah. So it's, but it's a, it's a long read. It's a really funny read about how elaborate his, let me see if it, but why does he have

to style it like a douchebag? That's the, the weird thing is the styling of it. Yeah. It looks like cotton candy. It's a Gokker piece, actually. Okay. So Google that Gokker Donald Trump hair, Donald Trump hair Gokker and it's, yes, it's really, they go into incredible detail.

Oh my God. It looks so horrible. There's just so, there's so much of an investigation. I mean, it really, really is elaborate. Well, why does he, cause it looks normal from the side. This is one of their interesting parts of the article was it said, look at what happened last August, part of a time interview when they had a bald eagle named Uncle Sam, but in an act of performance, it was truthfully a bit too on the nose for my taste.

The living symbol of American pride attacked the angry orange candidate. And as Uncle Sam's wings flapped frantically, Trump's hair piece migrated. It was ever so slight and ever so brief, but migrate. It did. And in one impossibly solid piece. So his hair moved all together and they, they made this little, you can see. It's not his hair, you know, here's, here's this, you see how it all moves together here? Yep.

Wow. It's so weird. You can see it. Yeah. It's so bizarre. Dude. This article is all about the hair. Why don't you think that one of his wives will be like, baby, you, you got to do course.

You look crazy. Well, the guy that started the, this particular hair restoration procedure used to have an office, guess where? Beverly Hills. Trump Tower, New York. Oh, okay. And he has since left there, but they said that, you know, that's where, that's where Trump had this done.

Oh my God. It's, it is really, really crazy. It's so weird. Micro extension. But he has to know it looks like shit. I mean, of course he does, but we all have our own levels of delusion, you know. His whole face looks like shit though. He's orange and he, he looks so chapped and dry.

Like that guy in the Americans, he just looks like a dry hot dog, you know? Would you like to? Like a dry dick, a dog dick. Would you ever kiss him? Nope. Like he just mouth smells like such a dad mouth. Yeah. I like China.

I like China. I sell apartment for 10, I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China. Am I supposed to dislike them? Let's say China. China. China. China. China.

China. China. China. China. China. Wow. да That's got into it. Is it?

Yeah. Yeah, she liked it. What are you barking about? China. She hates Donald Trump. She's not voting for him. She's not going to vote. What are you doing?

She's just having her time. She's talking to the voices in her head. Anyways, great music, great submissions to both of them. I can't wait for you to do some hair restoration. Are you going to do that? No. You're just going to let it go? No, I'm definitely of the, you know, everyone has the thought as the hair starts to leave.

You're like, what should I do about this? But, you know, it was pretty, I tried for, it was years ago. I tried for a month of pill that my doctor subscribed to me and for one month I tried it. Wow. Wow. I don't like the way I felt. No, it made you not want to have sex and it was depressing.

You killed testosterone. Yeah, because testosterone, high testosterone can lead to hair loss. Right. Anyways, it was, I didn't like it. So that was it. I tried that pill and then I was like, I don't give a shit. What about the propitial you can rub on? I don't know.

Topical ointment. I'm not that interested. Well, I would say that you might have a good chance of keeping your hair because if you haven't lost it by now, right? I mean, it's thinned. It's thinner. It's been this thin for the last 10 years, I'm saying. No, it's thinned out more over the last 10 years.

You think so? For sure. Oh. Yeah, it's definitely. Well, that's on your mother's side is your mom's dad. He had that widow's peak, kind of what I have and yeah, I don't know. Well, we'll see. We're getting that 23andMe thing done.

Oh yeah, we'll see what's going on. I think it tells you all that stuff if you're going to go bald and die and stuff. Does it? It says you're going to go bald and die? Yeah. What you're going to die of? Well, you're going to go bald and die. You're going to go bald and die?

Probably. Well, okay. I'm excited for that. Very exciting. I'm a little upset you told me the news today. A lot of people, this is Memorial Day as we're recording this and some people have been supportive of commemorating the Cincinnati farts. Yes.

Yes. Now you came in the kitchen and you told me that some people are doubting the validity of my Cincinnati fart. I can pull up. I just caught this moments ago. I mean, I was, I just happened to open up. I'm so upset. I'm so beside myself.

I can't even believe that people would doubt the authenticity of my Cincinnati fart. Well, somebody wrote today, let us not only remember our fallen soldiers, but let us also remember the Cincinnati fart. And they did a salute. Yeah. Let's all give a round of applause to Cincinnati fart. Yeah, I saw that. Then Gary Thorne wrote, the Cincinnati fart is a myth.

There's no documented evidence. Wow. It ever existed. Wow. Okay. Pretty, it's pretty bold. Right. Um, well, then let's, let's, let's continue.

Yeah. I mean, um, then somebody wrote, let me guess the Holocaust never happened either. That real bro Cincinnati fart matters. Never said that. Lots of evidence Holocaust happened, unlike Cincinnati fart, which is all hearsay. Uh, somebody said, well, I heard if you go to Cincinnati, close your eyes and smell deeply. You can still catch a whiff. Urban legend.

He replied. Yeah. We can debate this forever, but none of the change, none of this changes the fact that Burr Crisher is fat. That's a good point. And then he, the other guy wrote, you're right. You're right. Why is Bert so fat?

So it ends, it makes sense at the end. Well, allow me to, um, address these planes. Firstly, the Cincinnati fart happened in, in July of last year. I was pregnant. Uh, we had just gone on a cruise on what, what body of water is that in Cincinnati? Uh, yeah. It's the river or whatever water. Anyways, I ate the buffet.

I had several different things. I had mashed potatoes, chicken, roasted vegetables, everything I ate. And look, the Cincinnati fart happened. I couldn't prepare for it. It's not as though we could get a camera ready. It's just one of those things that happened. Now, Tom was there to witness it and I, are you suggesting that my husband, Tom is a liar? I'm not a liar.

What did it sound like? Let's relive the day. Oh, I was like, let's relive it. It's when I got back. Remember, I stayed out later than you. When I was tired, so I went back to the room, I went, I took my cousins to a restaurant because, um, yeah, we ate even more, we had drinks, um, so we went out, I got back, I gave you a hug and then it happened.

I mean, my eyes almost fell out of my head. I'd never heard anything like it. And the thing is, I felt that fart building all evening because I was laying down and I remember being like, oh, there's a lot of rumbles in these guts. You couldn't believe it either. I could have believed it. Yeah. That was a special time.

Ever seen anything like it, you know. Are we calling the hotel? Let's call the hotel. Good afternoon. Thank you for discovering the Renaissance in Cincinnati, downtown. How may I direct your call? Hi. Yeah.

Do you get to, can someone book a room to commemorate the Cincinnati fart that happened last year? Book a room to commemorate what? I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? The Cincinnati fart? Last August? Has anyone done that or would you like to?

Well, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of people. I have actually quite a few people that want to. I think it's room 313. 13, is that right? I think so. 331. I forget one of the two.

An R hotel? Yeah. Or maybe it was 813. Can I put you on a brief hold? Sure. Yeah. The Cincinnati fart. Thank you.

Yes. All right. So we actually don't have a room number? Is there a way I can check which room I stayed in last time I was there? Do you remember around what time your stay was? Yes. I can actually give you the exact dates. Okay.

So we've never actually had a fire in our hotel? Oh, okay. Yeah. No, no. I didn't mean that. So last August 19, 20, 21, and 22, I believe, yes. So last name would be Segura, S-E-G-U-R-A. Tom.

Well, there was a few Seguras. So this would be the one with Christina, C-H-R-I-S-T-I-N-A. Hold on one second. S-E-J-U-R-A. No, no, no. S-E-G-G. Oh, I apologize. Yeah.

And the first name is Christina. You sure it was under my name? And this was last year around August? It was, yeah. It was exactly August, I think, 19, 20, 21, and 20, and we left the 23rd. Okay. So was there a different name first time that it could be under? Yes.

Thomas or Tom. And then Christina, yeah, we had the same room, though. Okay. So I do see a reservation that we did have for you in room 618, and your arrival date was August 19th. 615 or 18th? 618. 618.

But now there was two Seguras there, though, with the same name. I just want to make sure I'm not, because my dad also stayed there under the name Tom Segura. So do you see a second? I do see a second one, but it has a different date of arrival. That one is August 21st. Oh. Okay.

And so we have two Seguras. No, you know what? I arrived. She arrived at 21st. So that would be... So what's that room? That might be the correct room. What's that number?

What's that room number? 808. 808? That's it. That's it. That's it. That's the one. 808, yeah.

Now, can we do group packages for people wanting to build rooms? Yeah, because I know people that want to pay extra just to stay in this room. What was so special about that room? The Cincinnati fart. Could you spell that for me? Yeah, F-A-R-T, like passing gas. And it was like this elaborate, huge deal. But I know that people want to like honor it.

I see. Okay. So they can just request the room number then? Probably, right? Yes. And then there was a... And then I see something on the internet that says something about room 1618. 1618?

So I'm not really sure. I don't think that's it. She's looking up on the internet? Yeah. Cincinnati fart? She says 1618. That's not right. No.

I remember 808. That's not right. Because of the alternative, there's an industrial band called 808 State. And I remember thinking that. Okay. So the two rooms. So Mr. Segar, we had room 1618 on August 19th and August 21st, we had you two reservations. It was a room share for room 808.

Okay. Okay. We'll figure it out from there. Thank you so much for your help. Okay. You're very welcome. Okay, bye-bye. I'm sorry, it was a little busy.

Oh, no, no, it's great. You're wonderful. You're very welcome, sir. Bye-bye. It's okay. Wait a minute. So it's 1618 or 808. I'm confused now.

I don't know. Here's why I'm saying that. We have to figure out when you arrived. That'll tell us. I arrived later. Because I got in and I got out. Remember? Because I was so pregnant.

Right. I didn't want to stay long. So I got in and I got out. Which leads me to believe that I'm the later check-in, the 21st. And didn't you move rooms? You started in one room and then we met or something like that. I've switched hotels. That's what it was.

I'm thinking 808. Okay. Okay. Hmm. Well, I mean... You know what? Well, another thing we could do, by the way. What?

If you guys all search online Cincinnati Renaissance, or Renaissance Hotel Cincinnati Fart, then whenever anybody starts typing in the Renaissance Hotel in Cincinnati, it'll say Cincinnati Fart, like if like a few hundred of you do it, it'll definitely be... It'll fuck up Google? Well, yeah. It'll definitely be like, why does it say Cincinnati Fart when people look up our hotel? So here's the... The Cincinnati Fart.

Oh my God. So right now, it's Renaissance Hotel Cincinnati C. And right now, the things say Renaissance Hotel Cincinnati Ohio, Cincinnati Wedding, Cincinnati Parking. We could make it say Cincinnati Fart right here, so Renaissance Hotel Cincinnati Fart. Now what room are we going? I think... Does anyone know the precise location of the Cincinnati Fart? That's the first result.

She must have looked that up, and she did, it's room 1618. That must have been the room. That must have been the room. We must have talked about it. Because we announced it. Because this is back then. Okay. Oh, that's why she goes 1618?

Yeah. But she said 618. No, she said 1618. 1618. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So then I guess it's 1618, because that's hot off the heels of the actual event.

Did you spell that for me? That's what she was reading. Yeah, she was reading Reddit. Oh, my God. How funny is that? Yeah. Hilarious. Well, now you guys know where to go.

Yeah. Renaissance Hotel 1618. And you know what? Maybe just walk by 808 and see if anything's there. If you can still smell it. Yeah. If you do end up staying in that room, please send us a picture. I'd like to see it, tweet it.

Yeah. That'd be really funny. And it happened in the doorway. And if you could actually inform, no, it was inside the room, babe. Oh, really? Yeah. No, no, no. I thought I went to hug you.

I had come in the room. I got back. And where was I standing? We were standing, like the bathrooms over here near the closet, we're in the room. We're in the room. Okay. And then I assays farted right there. The Renaissance Hotel Room 1618.

So this girl just pulled this up. She took you very seriously. Yeah. She googled Cincinnati Fire. And she thought it was Cincinnati Fire. Yeah. She just, she just realized she was talking to this fucking face. Oh, man.

So funny. That was amazing. God, that's so funny. Do they have a banquet room there? Oh, yeah. They have everything there. Maybe we should do like some huge... That's what I was thinking.

Why don't we do the podcast from like their banquet room one time and then all walk up to room 1618. The pilgrimage to the room and let's see. Yeah. Maybe reenact it. Maybe show... Reenact it. Like Civil War reenactment.

What? Guys, it was right here. Guys, everybody gather around. The longest fart of my life happened in this hotel. And I'll never forget it. I will never forget that fart. It was a powerful, long, and it can only happen with a gift of pregnancy. Yeah.

I think that was why it was so special. You're definitely... Yeah. Who? My name is Mark. I'm 20 years old and I'm in a relationship with 15 inflatable animals. Okay. What do you think?

You want to fuck this guy? He's not that bad. He's better than Trump. You would fuck that guy over Trump? Of course. But he's probably not going to... My inflatables are the funnest creatures I have to hang out with in my life. I know.

I'll eat with them. Why do you want my food? Because you're wrong. Watch TV together. It's fine. If I had to show you like... If I bathe my inflatables, let's get sure. Now, if I do, take my flables out swimming.

What do you feel like, though? As... Yeah, that's a good face. If you're a parent and this is like... I was just thinking that if this was Ellis... Yeah. I'd beat the shit out of him. Really?

Old school. I'd beat the inflatable shit out of him. Stop fucking doing this. It might make him go harder into it, though, right? There's some kind of... What's wrong with this guy? You know? There's a lot wrong with him, but...

How does this happen? That's what I want to know. How does this... How can we make sure Ellis doesn't... Because that didn't start overnight. That's not like... I'm just going to fucking inflatables from now on. He's wiping his collar.

Mark's addiction to inflatables began six years ago when he purchased a whale for his pool. No pool. Since then, the 20-year-old college student has added 14 animals to his inflatable family and even prefers them over people. He's mentally ill, though, severely. Right? Well, if you prefer them over people, then it becomes a problem, right?

Yeah, I think so. I think... The thing about inflatable pools I love is that they're soft, they're cuddly, the bigger they are, the better they are, kind of means there's more to love. And it's really nice to have somebody to talk to. No, Sammy, you don't get into my soda, okay? I mean, you can also talk to a person. He's not ugly.

Now he's so dependent on his inflatables, he can't be separated from them for more than a day. Oh, boy. When I start missing them, it's almost like if I'm going a little bit crazy. A little. Once I go home, basically give them a hug, give them a kiss. Yeah. Spend, like, family time together.

Okay, we can talk more about you if we want. Let's say every one of my inflatables has a different personality, don't you? Get a bowl out for everybody. Yeah, the food he's wasting. What are you talking about? They're going to eat it. They're probably just not hungry right now, but you've got to give them a minute. Do you think when this airs, that school gets better?

Or no? What'd you guys do this weekend? Well, we were watching TLC. Hey Mark, my inflatables has a different personality. No, they don't. Don't you? Some like different types of music, some don't. See?

Some like to just be lazy and sleep all day. Different types of music. Like me and my girl for me, Harmony. What's her name? You're a 15 year old? Yeah. Jeremy. Courtney.

Brett. All right. Brett. Brett. It's common to watch my boyfriend DJ later. You guys want to come or not? I'm like to just be lazy and sleep all day. Yeah.

I would say they get along together pretty well. I would say they all like to sleep all day from what I can see. Forever. Yeah. God, it's so troubling. Yeah. Now I look at that, every time I see a weirdo now, I go, oh, what do the parents feel like? That's somebody's son.

The only thing that's changed, yeah. Now I go, that's somebody's son. Yeah, of course. Oh my God. Somebody loved and nurtured and took care of you as an infant. And you're fucking retarded. Fucking pool toys now, you asshole. Yeah.

Now he's so dependent on his inflatables. Disappointment. He can't be separated from them for more than a day. God damn it. That makes cool. I start missing. I already covered that. My mother really wasn't there for me when I was a child.

That's mom's fault. Mom, everything goes to mom. That's how my husband, my inflatable whale, actually started feeling all that love and compassion that I never got. I'm never leaving you, Alice. I want you to give him a hug right now. I know. Can we pause this?

Make sure his son knows I love him. No, I'd never do that. That's what it is. Mom was never around. Inflatable animals were. You know, he's lucky. Inflatable animals were around and not some creepy guy neighbor, huh? Yeah.

Kids like him get preyed on. Yeah. That is terrible. Well, now I feel like a shit head for making fun of that guy. He had a bad mom. That's what happens. You can't go fuck a toy if you're not a good mom. Fuck a toy?

Yep. By the way, we've been getting a lot of people on Twitter as well wondering when they're going to have a double pipe classic. When will it happen for me? When will it happen? Guys, you know, when will I see a shooting star? When will I win the lotto? You know, you gotta wait.

You gotta be patient. Yeah. Give it some time. Let life happen. Live your life and it'll just happen. Yeah. Like love. Do you think I'll just stumble into a foursome today?

Right. No. Maybe, but probably not. A foursome, huh? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. The equal of it. It's the same.

Yeah. Okay. Are you thinking of another couple, specifically? A foursome? No. Three other, like if you're a guy, like three chicks are going to bang me today all together. Oh, you weren't thinking like another married couple? No.

Like we could swing or something? I think I know what you're thinking about, but no. I wasn't. I didn't even think it. I'm trying to give people real world, you know, positions like ways of thinking of this. Yeah. Okay. Thank you for your dismissive wave the other day.

What are you talking about? I did not do that. You're exaggerate. You're lying about how that went. I'm always lying. You are. You're like Amber Heard and I'm Johnny Depp. Whatever.

I'm just trying to bring my characters home. I live with all those characters. I was looking at you lovingly out the kitchen window. Yeah. The kitchen overlooks the backyard and I am lovingly looking out at my husband's playing with the two dogs and the baby's asleep. It was like the end of a perfect day. And I looked through and I lightly tap on the glass.

I go, Hey, sweetie. Hi. And then you go. Hey, what was that? That's not how it went. Oh, how did it go? You stood in the window and you went like, like that. And I just went like, hi, I see you.

But did you see the shittiness? It was like, yeah, dummy. Hi, dumb cunt. Yeah. I see you retard. Like I was a retarded kid. Like I was licking the glass. That's a slight exaggeration.

Someone's goes to lie school. They lie when they get back home. So what happened? Yeah. Like that. No. Yeah. It was the same.

It was like a no shit, but for your hand, you can get her a push present. Yeah. No shit. Same weekend as a Cincinnati fart. Yeah. No shit was the same weekend. It's room 16, 18. Yeah.

It is. No confusion now. Well, because we must have set it on the air when it happened. But now that I remember, it was, we were up higher. It was 16th floor. Where are we? Yeah. I'm trying to remember the view and I just, I know I see the rules in my head, but I

I know because then Jane came over with Eric and they opened the window and he was smoking out the window. And I remember we were high enough to do that. What? He was smoking cigarettes out the window. Of our room? Yeah. Yeah.

You don't remember that? No. Yeah. Maybe you weren't in there. It was just pregnant me. Like thanks for putting that out the window. Fuck man. Yeah.

I remember when they came here and smoked and we're like, no, we weren't smoking. Did they? I don't remember. You weren't here. You were either out or in bed already. Yeah. And they went on a walk. You guys just go smoke and she goes, no.

Are you, do you have a breath mint? She's like, yeah. Just just breath mint after a walk. Yeah. Yeah. Your sister also feels at liberty to just rummage through our pantry too. She is like, I have a little sweet tooth right now and she was just rummaging through it.

What do you got? What do you got? Like starts opening cabinets, refrigerator. What do you have here? Cause you don't have shit, huh? Like, um, why are you opening your thing? Oh, I can't look. You're my fucking brother.

I can't look through your stuff. Um, yeah. Okay. God, family's the worst, isn't it? Whatever dude. This morning we were talking about, uh, childhood stuff and, uh, you asked me, you're like, we're parents, super affectionate with you. And I was like, and I thought they were apparently you.

I'm learning all this great stuff about my child and basically a work camp. See my therapist says that she's like, you grew up with extreme deprivation. I'm like, wasn't that bad? Come on. Like I, I even like, we were, cause we smother our son with so much physical education. Yeah. Cause I'm just all day hugging him, kissing him, kissing, kiss, kiss, kiss till he's like, sometimes I'll kiss him.

He's happy and I'll keep kissing him until he cries and he'll be like, stop it. It's too much affection. I can't stop. So I go, I go, yeah, I was talking about my family, super affectionate too. Yeah. Latin, very abusive. And even my dad, my dad hugs, kisses all the time. And I go, was it like this for you too?

And you basically were like, like your brain basically stopped working for a second. You're like, excuse me. And I go, so like, do your dad didn't hug you and kiss you. You go, well, he would do things like grab my shoulder and go like, Hey, I love you. Okay. Like, uh, what? Yeah. And my dad grabs your shoulder and squeezes it.

And he goes, I love you. Okay. I love you. And then he pats you. I swear I got it. But you wouldn't get over yourself. No. If my parents said that to me, I'd lose my mind.

I'd know. Really? No. Now my mother would hug me, but I didn't like it because I didn't like her. I didn't like her. Everything, you know, she would see every now and then she would hug me. It was, it was too hard and she smelled too perfumey and her hair was always like a helmet. So it was just like, ah, it was like, I didn't like it.

But see, I think about that. I understand that your dad's thing must be because he also just didn't come up in an affectionate household, you know, people usually duplicate what they're used to. No. And I don't know if he noticed last time I think he was here. He went to shake your hand. No, I went to shake his hand. He gave me a hug.

He hugs. He hugs. Hello. Yeah. Now. Yeah. That's after being, you know, training him. Yeah.

But no, he never, I don't remember him, you know, hugging me as a kid. He hugged me that day twice. And then when we went to his place, he hugged me again. Yeah. So he's, he's become more affectionate. Yeah. He's an older person, but happens to some older people too. Yeah.

But not, not in my youth. No. No. Really? No. I love you. Okay. I love you.

What? Really? A good morning kiss? Yeah. No. Or you got home from school. Hey, good big kiss. You're hilarious.

First of all, my parents were nowhere to be found when I got home from school. I feel like when they got home they were like, oh, I love kiss you. You're out of your mind. Really? No. No. My mother would come home and I would hear her and I would hide. But see, it doesn't sound that crazy to you if you think of it in this term.

Imagine Alice getting home from school. Oh, I would, I'm going to go nuts. I mean, I go nuts just, I haven't seen them in like a day and I'm going nuts. Yeah. No, it wasn't like that. My dad or my mom would come home and they would say hello or whatever greeting. They screaming hello. And then you go, hey.

And that was it. But I don't recall ever being like, I'm so happy to see my folks. You know, I just avoided them. You're going to sit down and you're going to eat or I'm going to fucking make you shit. What did I say to you? Yeah. And then I heard a few sayings. Okay.

There's, there's one. I'm going to hit your head so hard. You're going to shit in your pants. I'm going to hit you so hard. Your head's going to fall off. That's another nice one. And get us up on the bus. Meg.

That's a common eat. Fucking common eat. Basically. Yeah. It looks so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome.

It's real. Welcome to America now. I know. And now when I, Now we're watching the Americans where it's such a good show. I love this show. Dude, if you're not into the Americans, great show to dive into and lose yourself for. We're in the second season.

Yeah. It takes place in the early 80s. It's the, you know, cold war. They're KGB agents living in America under deep cover. Carrie Russell. Oh, she's great. I love her. And it reminds me a lot of you.

Thank you. She's just so cold. You can see the coldness in her eyes. Yeah. And then what's the guy's name who plays her husband? I don't know, but I like him too. Right. Something like that.

He's a tremendous actor. They both are. She's amazed. Yeah. But they're, The writing is just phenomenal. Also Nina reminds me of you because she gives it up like immediately in a lot. So.

She reminds me of you. Yeah. Blood farts is back. We got to start watching. We haven't even, don't you even, we have to start. We have to watch. I can't wait to see if that idiot, the Darrell, oh no, he's, he's gone. Yeah.

But then it's the son of Darrell. Yeah. Of POS. POS is back. The ultimate POS. Danny. Danny was such a piece of shit. I just, I love that Florida trash.

How are you feeling today? Oh, well, let's see what's on the chart today. For how we feel about our gender. Let's see. Um, I feel, I kind of like this one. Arrow gender, a gender that is influenced by your surroundings. I kind of feel like that right now. Okay.

A little arrow. So. Okay. What about affect affect due gender, a gender that is affected by mood swings. That's pretty good too. Yeah. I see that. How about I just hit the scroll.

See where we land. Cause look, we're still in the A's right now. Okay. Hold on. See transgendered. We know that one's legit cause people cut their stuff off to be that. That's, you got a real bio gender. A gender that feels connected to nature in some way.

I'm definitely bio gender. Wait, is there a dog gender? Cause I love my dog. So it's funny. You mentioned that. Um, not only is there that there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a. Not only is there that there's a, there's actually this. What?

How did I know that? I swear I didn't know this was coming. I'm a rut boiler and I'm not running around all fours. I work in country. I can totally understand why people would think it's strange to identify as being a dog. It's a way of relaxing after a long day and not having to cope with everything that comes with a normal human life. Sure.

I can't get it. I get it. Not having to deal with normal human. Discard moves. Now, did they go number two outside like dogs? Funny that you mentioned that. No, I don't know actually. How did I know that?

That was so bizarre. It was. You're just feeling, you're feeling very, um, a canine gender today and you're connected to your bio gender status, which the two come together. Wow. That's astral gender. I'm still non binary. Yeah.

I can't be non binary, but then identify dog gendered, right? I think you can. Can I be non binary and dog gender? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I can't wait to meet the president and tell him.

And what pronoun would you, should you be referring to me as because I am a dog gendered? Am I? It's a great question. I'm not a, I'm not a he she, cause I'm non binary. Yeah. How would you refer to a dog? Well, it's a him or a her, but they're non binary dogs. Maybe they're, then you go back to they and thems.

They and thems preferred pronoun. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's a great point. It was really good that you mentioned it. You have to say the right pronouns. My pronouns are not a preference.

Can we show that? Do we have that on deck? Sorry to. That guy. Because I feel like last week. Oh, right. He didn't get to see him and he really needs to be seen and heard and validated. And everybody needs to know the proper pronouns for that guy.

Okay. Interesting. Interesting. Color gender, a gender associated with one or more colors and the feelings. Hughes. I can't read it. It's too small emotions and or objects associated with that color. Maybe use like pink gender, blue gender, yellow.

That is such horseshit color, color gendered babe. I mean, listen, I think this is an affront to people that really have gender identity issues. Yeah. You know, if you're like, I'm a man trapped in a woman's body vice versa. This stuff, this has to be an embarrassment to people that have like, like genuine gender problem or gender identity things. I don't know what makes you say that.

So this is, this is, I'm offended. I am offended. Yeah. Let me see. Here's one burst gender, a gender that comes in intense bursts of feeling and quickly fades back to the original state. Now this is under, where did you find genderfluidsupport.tumblr.com guys, look at this site and figure out which gender you are and, and make sure to tell us and let everybody know your proper

pronouns this week. Yeah. It's really important that you let us know. We definitely want everybody to get their proper pronouns in there. So astral gendered, color gendered. I can, I think we could. Yes. I have it.

Oh yeah. I think people need to see this guy. You're right. We didn't really show him before. So let's see if I can get into play here. Don't you feel like this is totally offensive to people that really have like gender identity? Look at her fucking. Okay.

This is the newest video on my ask a gender terrorist playlist on my channel. Dakota. I've been dating all of my playlists because I haven't had people have posted anything in a long time. If you would like to know why, check out my Ask Dakota life update coming out video. Okay. I just want to make a video that I can link people to when I'm just f***ing with me. There's a lot of witchcraft going on.

I expect everyone in the world to understand. They're not a preference. They're a man. My pronouns are not preferred. They're not a preference. They're mandatory for interaction with me. You know what's crazy? I don't want to interact with you.

First of all, you've met, you've made this a lot of points. Yes. He's got, he shaved his eyebrows. Yes. Sorry. They shaved their eyebrows. Insanity. Have their beard going.

Total insanity. But the eyebrow shaving is almost universally. Yeah. Remember the movie? Real mental illness. The movie, the wall. Pink Floyd. The wall.

Yeah. He breaks down. He has a mental breakdown. And I believe he shaves his eyebrows off and his hair and everything. And that's a sign of mental illness. Royale Tenenbaum. Richie Tenenbaum tries to kill himself. Yeah.

He shaves everything off. It's a metaphor of some kind for losing your nut. Oh yeah. Or just out of your f***ing mind, you know, eyebrows. Well, walk the streets of downtown Los Angeles. And every time you see somebody with shaved eyebrows, just know that it's really about to go down with them. Yeah.

Shit's gone. You know, the old lady turban. This is, I got out of the shower. My hair is wet. And then the various Wicca jars, you know, full of warlock things. Then here's a temple. A temple. Yeah.

A little shrine. Eye chart for the DMV. I mean, there's... Low cut. Low cut on the... So much happening for you. You know what? This guy is so f***ing confused.

What guy? I'm s***. I mean... That's fast forward. That's fast forward. You don't have anything to stand on. This is what you're going to abide by if you're going to be in our lives. And that's all there is to it.

In our lives? In our hour. I hope you guys are doing well. My non-binary folks, I love you. I hope that you're having a fantastic time. I hope you have a good Halloween. If you choose not to go out and you want to stay in, thank you for taking care of yourself. This is not something that you're obligated to deal with.

I know it's hard for us at this time of year because, you know, everybody thinks our f***ing gender identity and expression and the whole thing is a f***ing costume in the first place. So costume day is amateur night and often times it's a little bit hard for us to deal with. So... Alright, how does he take... So he takes Halloween personally now? I don't know. It's a personal offense?

This guy's got all kinds of s***. He's got so many problems. I'd say the gender identity is the last on the list. This guy's super... Jesus Christ. F***ing... F***ing... Come on a commo gender.

What's that? When you know you aren't cisgender but you settled with your assigned gender for the time being. Okay. How about delicia, delicia gender? What's that? From the Latin word delicia meaning favorite, meaning the feeling of having more than one simultaneous gender. You're a preferring one that fits better.

I don't even understand that. Well, you shouldn't. I don't even understand this. You... Are they teaching kids this whore s*** in school? They better not be. I'll pull my phone right out of that school. Where can we send Ellis that he won't hear about this dumb s***?

Yeah. This is just... I mean... You're such an asshole. Yeah. I think it's an attention. I'm sub-gender. Mostly agender with a bit of another gender.

Mostly... F*** you, man. Mostly agender with a bit of another gender. So... I mean, I don't even understand. Dude, how about surgender? What's that? You're having a gender that is 100% one gender, but with more of another gender added on top

of that. No. You can't be more than 100%. That's not even logical. That's so crazy. That's not even logically possible. Try gender. Not listen to this s***.

Try gender. The feeling of having three simultaneous or fluctuating gender. They don't exist. There's only two genders. What do you mean three? There's a... Yeah, okay. You f***ing square.

Hold on. F***ing... Hey, wait a minute. Doris over here thinks there's two genders. F***ing retodd. Unreal. You know what it is? People are bored.

There's nothing happening. Life is so easy in America. We're looking for things to get all fired up about. They have to invent things to get offended about. This f***ing kid, if there's a war going on and his ass is about to be drafted into a war, you think there'd be time for him to pay in his f***ing nails and do his tats and fill his weird jobs. I would just actually like to see a video where they send him to less developed countries

to have him explain his situation. Yeah. Why don't you go to Kabul, Afghanistan, and explain your gender problems, your pronouns to people. What? I'm neither gender. What? And then they just go, he's a witch.

Let's kill him. Right. Set him on fire. Or Budapest. Go to Hungary. Go to my motherland. This is amazing. Let's discuss the grave.

An hour later, when I smelled bacon, before he went to the shower, I was like, you know what? I could eat some. At one point, you shit out the window. Do you ever do that for old time's sake? No. I like this girl already. I started shitting tubs because I just couldn't take it no more while.

Shut up. While I was taking a shower. Why get out? No. Let me tell you something. For some reason or another. No. For about two years.

I hate going. I like shitting before I go on the shower. But I like shitting before I go on the shower. I don't want to take a shower and walk around with a dirty ass all day. That's right. Because it leaks. You got to stop every hour and clean it and then it gets hot out. I don't like it.

I like taking the shit before I go on the shower. But some days the system don't work according to your fucking pussy schedule. So you wash and then you come out. Some days I was taking a shower and as soon as the water went in my back I didn't have to take a shit. It's the worst. Let me tell you something. You got to dry it off.

It takes a shit. It does suck. It makes you have to go to the bathroom as soon as the water hits you. So sometimes you do something in a wet toilet and it's a horrible feeling. It's a worst feeling. It's a horrible feeling. So for a while there I was just saying fuck it. Let me just shit while I'm taking a shower.

So you would just scoop it out? No. I would either unscrew that thing. Sometimes I'd pick it up in my hand and just throw it right at it. No! Chow, stop! That's how disgusting I am. Wow.

Sometimes I would just shit. In Vegas sometimes I was eating pills and doing blow. And I would just sit in the thing with my legs open like a Chinese guy. You know how they shit in China but only with water hitting my ballside. Oh my god. Hold on. He's saying he would squat down into the drain and shit in the shower. You guys think I'm nasty?

No, this is a whole other... This is varsity. You're Mother Teresa. Yeah. This guy's perfect. And I would just shit and watch the shit come out with all the particles. Oh. And then I'd get like the soap and push it down the hole.

No! Yes, I would. I'm disgusting. I gotta admit to it right now. Anybody who's ever taken a shower at Joey Diaz's house. No, not this house. You're welcome. I would do it in a hotel.

Okay. Oh, Jesus. I would push it down. The peanuts would get stuck in the thing so the drain couldn't go back down. No, no. I can't... We're speechless. Just when you think you know Joey Diaz, we thought him shitting on the tree was great,

great. He has such a crazy story that I want him to tell that I heard from somebody else an old story. God. It's the kind of story I have to check first. Like I can't just bring it up, you know? Yeah, that's not... I'm just...

Maybe I don't think... No, I mean... I'm sorry. I'm still processing when I've just heard. Like I can't move on just yet. I need to process it. Hold on. He said he moves the drain thing and then he squats like a Chinese guy.

And shit in the shower. In a way, you know, like as far as like addressing your workflow, it makes sense. I feel like I have to sanitize my hands. I kind of want to also. Does it make you feel dirty just hearing? Yeah, I want to. I know. It's so weird, right?

I don't know why this makes me feel... I think I'm going to take a shower and just not shit right after this. But he's such a savage. Joey. It makes sense to do, except it's so... It doesn't make sense to do. No, it makes sense to do if you go... What makes sense?

To just shit where you're standing. That doesn't make any sense. Of course it does. How does that make sense to you? Because the water cleans... Now I'm saying it's so filthy and repulsive that nobody does it. If you were to be like, hey, where should I shit? You should shit wherever, like where the water is flowing right now.

But you're shitting in the... No. No, no, no, no. You gave me so much crap for shitting and showering and you're letting Joey get a pass on squatting in the drain. You're not hearing me or I'm not explaining well what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say is on some level, the act of shitting where water is flowing makes sense.

Right. Except doing it where you're bathing is just so disgusting. You know what I mean? Like it's like you piss in the river because it's right that you don't have to get out and you don't find a spot. Yeah, I see what you're saying. But it's so... It's so disgusting that he did that.

This is above and beyond anything I could do. Or Ari. Ari and I are both straight shit to shower people. Yeah, you're shit to shower people. But this, Joey, this is... I'm speechless. Yeah, it's... Now, Joey Diaz has a wife.

Doesn't that blow your mind? There's some woman living with him. Yeah. I love him, but man, I love you, Joey. It's just so crazy. So gnarly. Come on. What are you doing?

What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Turn my headphones down. I don't want to hear it. All right, so it's over. It's not over. It's over.

What is wrong with you? What is he doing? He's just making himself vomit. He's eating stuff that's disgusting. You're gonna fucking throw up? There, it's gone. It's gone. I thought it was appropriate to play after shitting in the shower.

Are we done? Yeah, we're done. Wow, we're done. We're finished and we're done. We're finished and we're done. Man, I hate that. I don't know what I'm gonna do when Ellis barfs. You're gonna have to take care of him if he's sick, you know.

What do you mean? I don't know if I can stomach you. Yes, you will. I'm gonna have a hard time. It's different. It's your boy. I know. It's your boy.

I don't have to get sick at it. How bad do you feel like that is? What? What he did. What was going on there? Joey or the gagging? Joey. I just don't know how his wife handles that.

It's a lot, you know what I mean? It's a lot. What do you know? I'm looking for, what is this? Sphinx or relaxation? What is that? I don't know. Blue Band must have been...

You could be my mom. You could... No, that's a fucking tribe called Quest. That's not a song, is it? Sphinx or relaxation? That's what it's called. Anyways. Anyways.

Anyways. Anyways. Whatever. Anyways. Hey, big shout out to all the mommies who came out to La Jolla. So many mommies. Thank you so much for coming. It was the best.

It was so fun to walk on stage and just hear a litany of Hey Hitler's and all the sayings. It was so funny. It was so much fun. Yeah. Thanks for coming. It was really good. You were there with the full fart? The full charge.

Full charge crushed it. He had some killer sets. We ate some tux down the street. Burritos. Big shout out to Ryan down the street who opened his taco shop for us. Oh yeah. He also... Is that your name?

I hope so. Was it Ryan? I'm trying to remember. I have no memory, but yeah. And he gave you late night tux? Late night tux. Thank you for that. I've never been to La Jolla.

It's fancy San Diego. It's nice. Okay. You've never been there at all? Or just to the comedy store? I've never been to La Jolla. I've been to San Diego. Yeah.

It's like the nice part of San... It's like the Beverly Hills of San Diego. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Hold on one second. Okay. Let me find out this guy's taco.

We're back farts. The name of the taco shop, Don Carlos Taco Shop, right down the street from the La Jolla comedy store. Thank you for hooking us up with late night tux. Nice. Thank you, dude. That was really cool for you. Wonderful.

I was almost going to eat some protein bars from... But you got real food. The Ligas store. Because of that guy. Thank you. It's very nice of you, sir. Let's get into some toofies right now. Okay.

Oh, wow. Time for a dental update. Oh, I love these. How are your teeth doing? They're still yellow. Did you use the whitening trice? How many times have you tried the whitening? Once.

Just once? Yeah. Did it burn a lot? Yeah, it hurt for the next couple of days, too. That's good. That means it's working. I'm going to do it again. Yeah.

I'm going to do it again. Yeah, you got to repeat it. I think I might do it tonight. Okay. It's been a while. But I'm going to do it more often. I need to help you, though, because you're not... I saw how much you were putting in.

You said it was too much. You got to just put, like, a dot on each tooth. I thought it was a dot. You were, like, like a glob. There's a way to minimize the pain. That's definitely it. All right, here's a dental update from some listeners. Tom and Christina, I just wanted to share my appreciation for the dental update segment

and your overall awareness of dental hygiene and care. You got it. The reason I share the love of dental care is because I am a dental hygienist, and it's my job to stop people from doing the stupid shit that people write in about. Fortunately, I rarely see that crazy shit because I work in a military dental clinic, and we are required to have a dental exam cleaning once a year. No matter what. I just wish that people would understand they get one set of teeth to last a lifetime,

and once those are gone, that's it. If you fuck that up, you're stuck with a lifetime of not biting into an apple, and you're stuck with denture cream. Keep up the great work. I hope to make it to a live show one day. Remember, floss them shits. Peace out, fuckboys. Trey, the floss boss.

Thank you, Trey. That thing got kicked. Oh. That moved. Oh, her dentist just came off. Okay. I would like to ask the professionals out there in the dental industry. Yeah.

I have a cap that's kind of wonky. It's a back tooth that's kind of wonkily placed. I'm going to have to replace it eventually crown. Sorry, not a cap of crown. You're on your own. Yeah. Thank you. And when I floss it, I feel like it's tenderoni.

It's just precarious, and I'm just wondering, is there a way I can floss? Is there a technique I can use? I'm just afraid of flipping up that crown if that's possible from flossing. You could do that whole thing of going to a dentist. Yeah. I mean, I was kind of waiting until I was a little recovered from childbirth. Oh, yeah? Your fucking son, huh?

Before I started messing with my teeth again. Wait, did you give birth again or something? Hello? It's six months ago. You can't go to the dentist. They have your teeth checked? I had them cleans after I had Ellis. But I have to have this crown replaced, and I didn't really put in that off.

I got to tell you, I needed a new dentist because we moved. I don't have one yet. I know. We should call the DOC and ask them for referral. Oh, yeah. We'll do that. Because I don't want to go to one of these show busy dentists down here in LA, and they jack you so fucking hard on these prices.

And they do the whole thing where something happens to me, and then you say it happened to you, remember? It really happened to me. That's so funny. Oh my God. It did. I swear. That's why I don't have dental insurance.

It did. It did. It did. Huh? Huh? It happened that way. It happened that way to me too. Maybe we could go to a dentist and find out why your teeth are so yellow.

Okay. They look like candy corns. All right. They look like candy corns. Somebody else wrote in, hey mom and dad mouths. I just wanted to let you know you're talking about getting your teeth fixed. Don't mind the cost. Finally inspired me.

Good. To get the work I've been avoiding for years. It includes 24 months of non-binary braces. Oh wow. Five gender fluid extractions, including a top front that needs an implant as I have failed, I have a failed root canal with a huge abscess, which requires a cow bone graft. Fuck dude. And finally, jaw surgery.

It's the final step to polyamorous to extend my bottom jaw forward to correct my bite, which has been the root of all these problems. I'm about six months in. I'm so happy with the progress. Every time I see myself in the mirror, I ask, hey Hitler, where's the cum? It feels like my browns are all fours. And I finally got my life. Good for you.

Weirdest thing is my front tooth, which is essentially a flipper. Except it's connected to braces wire. Okay. Oh right. So he's saying that the fake tooth is connected to the braces. Okay. Yeah. Love from New Zealand.

Oh. Pronouns are not optional. Fantastic. I wish I knew who wrote that. I don't know who wrote that one, doesn't say. Oh. But yeah. New Zealand.

Shout out to all the Kiwis, man. Good. Good for you, mommy. Yeah, that's awesome. You should take care of your teeth. You'll feel so much better when they look good for sure. Oh yeah, man. You know, sometimes I look at pictures of me and everything else can look all fucked up,

you know, but if your teeth look nice, it totally makes you look so much nicer. Really does. Do you want to read some fan mail? I don't have it in front of me. I have it in front of me. Like do you want? Oh, okay. Yeah.

Put it up here. Sure. Here we go. Top. Yeah. Hi, mommy. Just wanted to say, fuck you. I wear a condom on my tongue.

Love, Daniel. That's from last week, right? It was last week's episode. Who said that? The crazy arm wrestling guy. Oh, that's right. I'll fucking wear a condom on my tongue. Yeah, yeah.

That guy was really nuts. People are looking for that video. We got to put it on our site. We've been rebuilding the site. If some of you guys noticed last week immediately. Oh yeah. Shit, man. We had a problem with our old site.

So we got a new site built kind of as much as we could. And what did we use? Squarespace. Squarespace. So it's a Squarespace site and that's your mom's house podcast.com. We're working on getting the clips. You got the info on how to get those up there, right? So all right, cool.

We'll add those up. Here's another email. Hey, Hitlers. I had an experience today that I am not sure qualifies as a double pipe classic. Here we go. While at work, I went to the bathroom as I stood in front of the toilet just about to pee. I felt a sneeze coming on and wouldn't you know it?

I farted, sneezed and peed at the same time. All three bodily functions shot at me simultaneously. Wow. I am not sure if this is as good as a double pipe classic or even better. Please let me know your thoughts. Are you out of your goddamn mind? No, it's not better. And no, it doesn't count.

I keep getting this fucking question. Hey, if I sneeze and fart, is that a double pipe? No, it's not the same. No. You just have a little extra turbo boost on your fart. Yeah. You have that nitro and you just add a little extra juice to it. The rules of a double pipe are burping and farting.

Same time. It doesn't happen often. It's not going to happen to you every Wednesday. God. You just have to relish it when it does. When it happens, you stop, you sit down, you say a prayer. Yeah. You thank Yahweh for your double pipe.

Of course. It doesn't happen a lot. No. Last week, you two shout out to the bear community and you requested some gay bears to clarify some shit. So here I am as a burly gay dude to set you two straight. Here's how it works within the gay community, especially when it comes to the subgenre of bears.

A bear is simply an overweight guy that is covered in body hair. It's literally that simple, aka Tommy Guns or Chewbacca. With that said, there are subclasses within the gay community in regards to bears. This is where I want to get interesting. Now, this is what I'm talking about here. An otter is a hair fit and slim guy. An otter is not fat, no dad bod, no nothing. An otter is just simply a regular fit dude that just happens to be hairy.

My friend John's definitely an otter. Generally otters are very fit and have a six pack or less. And they do lots of laps in an Olympic-sized swimming pool. Yes, sir. But that said, you have the fake bears, aka smooth skins. These are just fat guys that try to identify themselves as bears, but they are not bears. Because they're not what? Well, with that said, they are the chubs.

Fake bears are smooth skins. You have to be hairy in order to be a bear. That's what he's saying. If you're fat and hairless, you're just fat. Right. His chest isn't very hairy. No, he's got a little bit of hair. They probably would be like, why is this guy so fat?

Fat and hairy. These guys are just straight up heavy dudes, like 500-pound types of dudes. The type of guys where the smells come out of the rolls of their fat, yeah, they try to come within the bear community. And then you have the muscle bears. These guys are straight up jacked. I've seen these guys. It's like Mac SS.

Yeah, you're kind of married to one. So keep reading. These are your typical muscle gym freaks, and they have body hair. They don't have a typical beer belly or anything like that. What they are are just pure gym jocks and are jacked to the tits with whatever supplements they are using. Either way, they are kind of fucking hot. Wow. Basically, those are three typical subgenres of bears within the gay community.

Coat My Experience with the dick has helped you to an understanding of the mystical bear subgenre. Codiac. Thank you, sir. For explaining to us. We appreciate it. That's really interesting. Yeah, that's a lot of subgenres. Mac SF would be considered a muscle bear.

For sure, yeah. Man, we said, I don't know what episodes. Those are a while ago. I love Mac. Those are, yeah. And then we had his partner at the time was listening to the show. He, um, he's like, we'll answer your question. He also, his partner was, I think, an editor.

And it was like, Hey, I thought you might enjoy this, uh, edit of some, some of Mac's stuff. I just worked on. I know. It was the most hardcore shit ever. It's hard. Yeah. Mac is a, he's a real beast, man. He's a real animal.

Yeah. Um, there's only one Mac SF Google. Oh yeah. MAZK SF. Or just download a hair suit pursuits. Yeah. Other albums. Don't look at work.

All right. It's intense. It's real intense. Um, I think that's it. Jeans. Yep. You got anything else? Tom treats me like a frat brother.

Maybe that's on the next episode. Excuse me. Remember how I was telling you that? You're like, come here. I got a fart. I got a shit. I'm like, I'm not your frat bro. I'm your wife.

And then you got to say things like that. Then we sit down for breakfast. We're eating breakfast. I'm sitting right next to you. Lift your leg up. Fart at me. You don't lift the other way. You lift towards me.

Yeah. Fart as I'm eating. And you're like, huh? And you're calling me the fucking frat guy. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I love you though. I love you too.

Really? All right. We should get out of here. This is a, this is, what is this? Gaping dad? Yeah. Is that good? Yeah.

Yeah. It's good. It's really good guys. You're really going to love it. Okay. I don't know why this is having a lot of internet problems with the house last couple of days. That's dad problems. It's been really cool.

It's because dad doesn't know how to use things. Okay. I don't know why. Dad's never know how to use technology. That's, yeah. Thanks dad. Was that a lot? So loud.

All right. I got to go. Bye. Bye. Gaping dad. It's called vocal fry jam. Oh good. Okay.

Bye guys. Bye mommy. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Hello. Hi, everybody. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. You're cooler. You're cooler.

You're cooler. Look at you going on. Just be cool. Shut your eyes. Shut your eyes. Not to say there's been a big wave. Oh, he didn't get in there. Alright.

See? See... this on the left side. Okay. So we want to address this. This is a really big deal. In this episode, we called the hotel in Cincinnati to get people the exact room number where the Cincinnati fart occurred.

And there was a little misunderstanding as far as, A, what I heard and what was repeated back, and we're not yet at the exact room number. We need to figure it out. Right. And I want to come clean on a little something. When the Cincinnati fart happened, and we recorded that episode. August 2015. Right.

And we said, oh, it's room 16, 18. And I remember in my head going, wait, that's not the right room. That was, I think, your parents' room. Okay. Now, so, yeah, and I'm like, because I know at the time I go, that's not right. I said that in my head. So either it's 6, 18. Or 8, 0, 8.

Or 8, 0, 8. And we're not giving up. That's the thing we just wanted people to know. We wanted to find out the correct room number. We're just, we're just not there yet. And we don't want to mislead anyone. And we don't want you to think that we're just going to quit on the room. We don't want you to plan your summer vacations around misinformation.

Look, it is the Renaissance Hotel in downtown Cincinnati. Absolutely. Yeah. And it is either 8, 0, 8 or 6, 18. I'm almost inclined to believe. But not 16, 18. Right. Is that one of the numbers?

Right. And she listened back and she clearly said 6. I thought she said 16. She said 6, 18. I want to say it's 8, 0, 8 because of the band 8, 0, 8 state. Yeah. It's an industrial band. I remember being like, who, 8, 0, 8 state in my head at the time.

Yeah. You know, when you make dome associations. Maybe you could check in and say, can I get two keys? One for 8, 0, 8, run for 6, 18 and just walk around both for a moment. Smell and see if you smell anything. Yeah. Or just stand there, close your eyes. And if you feel a little extra movement, you're in the right room.

The energy of it. We're going to do a little more research and figure out the correct room. Yeah. We'll make sure you guys do the right. Go to the right room. Yeah. Get the right things. Yeah.

Yeah. This is a big deal. Yeah. This is a big deal. Well, I know and we're commemorating it. It's very important. I think we'll be able to figure out the correct room by looking back at our flights and figuring out exactly who checked in first.

You checked in first and I flew in as late as I could. We went to the wedding and then I left the next day and you stayed on a day after. I know, but I don't know that I checked into that hotel first. You came from another room. Yeah, I remember. You and I, we started fresh together in that room. In that room. Bitsy.

Bits. Stop. So I don't know if you were in a different hotel. I was. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Okay. I was in a different hotel. What day was the wedding?

The wedding was on a Friday, I think. All we have to do is look at the calendar. We can look at the calendar and figure it out. Yeah. Cause I came as late as possible. I came in the night before the wedding, I believe. No, no, no. I came for the dinner.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Mystery. We're going to have to. It's a bit of a mystery. Let's look right now. August.

It was what day? Saturday of August 22nd of 2015 is a Saturday. Okay. Yeah. Look here. Flight. I flew from CVG to LAX on the 22nd. On Saturday.

On Saturday. From CVG. So I flew in from LAX to CVG on the 19th. So I checked into the hotel on the 19th. You wouldn't have checked in on the 19th. Let the record show, unless this is your flight. That's mine. Why would I have that in my phone?

No, it's me. Confirmation code. Look, it's all here. You flew in Wednesday? Oh, that makes sense. Because the rehearsal is Thursday. The wedding is Friday. You leave Saturday.

Which means it was the first room number she gave us. The 19th. Which I think was. 808. State. Guys. The Cincinnati fart happened in 808. It's 808.

We need to make a correction to the episode. It's a very important. Please title it correctly. Because I know the day we recorded it on the show. We said it wrong. And in my head I went, should I say the right number? And I was like, who cares? Maybe we should just tack this on to the episode.

I'll just title this. Right. But can we tag this audio on to the episode maybe? Yeah. This is important. This is really important. This is really vital information. Yeah.

Gosh. I'm really happy we were able to resolve this. If you want, you could address the fact that there's a diaper in front of you on the table. I don't know if you want to tell people. What's going on there? This is a dog diaper. I got it on Amazon using our banner, yourmomshousepodcast.com.

This is to deter the dog from urinating on our staircase. Because it's carpeted. For people that are curious too, she doesn't pee in it. No. She just doesn't pee until she goes outside where we take it off. Right. It's part of potty training. And yes, she's housebroken.

For people that are curious too, she doesn't pee in it. No. She just doesn't pee until she goes outside where we take it off. Yes, she's housebroken for the most part. She's just young. She's stupid. That's the dog. All right, guys.

Cincinnati Ft. Room 808. It's 808.