Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 360-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 7, 2016

This week, the mommies find a VERY talented grandmother who works for a a certain kind of phone line, they welcome back one of the strongest performers in the adult industry, watch the trailer for Steven Seagal's new action movie where he doesn't move a lot, and much much more!

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh myward I'm grasshors why are you so fat I enjoy digging the fattest comic book of the day i'm crazy I'm grasshors I'm grasshors

I'm grasshors I'm grasshors I'm grasshors wow man that was just really it was so good we played it before we realized that you know we have way too many great songs that we're not playing you know more than once yeah I should really be given a thorough listening again yeah so many of them we play them and then we get other ones we forget we forget classics already that's gaping dad so good I can't believe how good people are I know gaping dad Burt is fat no shit yeah there's

wow that's uh this mommy's right by terrible productions really good I like it a lot so official this is Newport by the vinylist look there's a lot of crazy date changes coming up I don't know if some of you know this or not there's already been some changes to the oddball schedule so instead of listing them all I'll just tell you if you want to come see me do stand up in your town go to tomcigura.com there are some for sure my own shows are definitely going down Louisville San Francisco Manfred disco judo or titties what's the other one that I'm doing fill her up Delphia Charlotte North Carolina they're all at tomcigura.com west Palm Beach I'm doing the improv in December

and yes we added west ballmeats west ballmeats are sweaty ballmeats are in December wet wet ballmeats so make sure you that and fill her up Delphia we added a third show fill her up at the trocadero oh I've got a foot rest it's a dog oh yeah um yeah of course they're registered what about Eugene's I know your ticket I'm everywhere thousand ranch dot yeah I go to meet rattle porkland I'm going to Dallas I'm going to Houston post and I'm going to Indy mom nap indy nap napolis I'm going to Cincinnati where the notorious Cincinnati fart happens oh my god did it ever

stupid that thousand ranch dot com check it out oh check out that's deep road to fuckers yeah it's a good fucking show it's really good it's really picking up heat everyone's talking about it on the street a couple big things to announce your mom's house podcast dot com not only now has of course all the episodes links to the YouTube videos of it we are now on google play a lot of people have been asking about it finally came through google play it's another format you can listen to the show on a lot of people are into it android users and what not so if you're finding a way to listen now and you want google play we're there your mom's house podcast dot com also has clips a lot of people always ask us where'd you find a clip of that go to the clips page you can see that you can see the free ringtones if you want to download free ringtones we have a bunch up we're going to add more so it's free it's on us ringtones from the show um we have the store don't forget to check out the store the

double pipe classic the bike shirt bird is fat the Cincinnati fart poster they're all there in the store and of course if you're on the if you're on your mom's house podcast dot com please consider shopping through our amazon banner you do all the shopping you would normally do on amazon but you go through our portal and it helps out the show also you're forgetting the coolest thing ever what's that patreon put that down of course patron put that down guys go ahead and check that out it's a lot of behind the scenes stuff special bonus episodes bonus episodes just for the hard fucking core yes ymh fan there's a lot of hard fucking core shit are all over and we actually put up the latest was a what's it called the live episode live episode pairs in the hard fucking core that's right that's what patrons for the hard fucking core no fucking dilettante listener on that real fucking hardcore we had an incident at the live show too which was kind of interesting I won't spill the beans so to speak

it's already up I was it already I mean the normal no I'm saying the the episode that bonus episodes up yeah there's a guy in the audience who was crazy and we ended up talking to him after and he has he he knowledge dust oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he wasn't crazy though right no it was it was just funny because he held on to it for so long it's really funny actually I think if it's not up yet it will be up we're going to upload that segment yeah because it was so funny so silly yeah it was so funny anyway yeah a lot of good stuff so check out patreon.com put it down patreon.com slash mom put the shit down are you ready are you ready yes I'm ready remember that was from some commercial yeah are you ready ready there's our son crying there's a son snap time guys yeah I gotta put him back in his cage never thought I would ever feel this good that's where that's from oh and blue band got a microphone

upgrade right blue band sure did you hear me better now we're gone no it's a bitch are you are you touching me oh that's the wrong one oh no all over the map today here we go I tell you one thing for sure baby I wish you were here right now so you could see me play with my big fat pussy lips I'm gonna get it I'm gonna this movie here this movie's getting me all wet this pussy these pussy juices dripping down my fucking legs who is Ryan don't bring anyone loving to this welcome welcome welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura talk to you oh that's so late what's that hot sauce remember when I was at that bar I would tell you I was going to bar I met those guys in the woods

why don't you tell them I came all over that get all right let's do the show you ready to do the show we went on a weekend getaway with baby jeans yeah nothing funner more fun than travel within eight months staycation Christ yeah yeah we we drove there but it's you would you would get me a glass of penal grease every night and every night you always do this and whenever I go like I'm gonna go get something you go wouldn't it be crazy if you said you were going to the bar but you were really just going to meet someone I was like like a guy in the bushes and you're like well yeah because what if that that's really what's going on what if that's a crazy scenario yeah I know I am crazy I've been by the way you're also a real serial killer because she laughed maniacally at the thought of killing a squirrel that's not why

yeah she thought it was so funny I was like I only had fun she was like I just snapped my neck no because you were like because there was a it was in the scrolls of rabbit the rabbit that we were sitting outside and we saw it adorable little rabbit it just stayed there it stayed there and it was eating and you're like how would I kill that and I go you probably should snap its neck trap it and then snap its neck yeah and I was like no trap a rabbit just sure it's neck no because at first I go I go I go I wish I had twenty two so I could you know that's too bad too much fire no for a rabbit that's sure he's a fucking BB gun to kill a rabbit well I mean that twenty two is not much more than that that's my point so I go at twenty two and I was like I wish I had a rock right now then I started just laugh just imagining

my mother being there because I was upset she would be like give a rock to kill this beautiful rabbit and also to ask her do you have a rock like like she had like here's a rock we were thinking of the dumbest ways to kill that rabbit yeah first of all why would you kill the rabbit meat there's not a lot of meat it's like eating a pigeon but what made you laugh the most was the idea of throwing a rock to stun the rabbit and then running over there and snapping it she was like that's the best I'm crazy I'm a mania I think it says like why would you even kill a rabbit yeah but that's why I laugh at that stuff you know like that guy talking about yeah see that's Henry portrait of a serial killer they're right right that's that scene but that wasn't that was a person's neck it's a movie it's not real to me it's a guy he's with the hooker and yeah the other guy goes Henry because he just snapped

but I think it's so crazy to want to snap a rabbit's neck let's pull up that funny funny no all for fuck's sake no yeah what about your grandma here oh yeah we'll get to her in a second wait what it is fucked up to even think about killing a rabbit there's no reason the meat's not that good you got to be real desperate yeah to kill a rabbit geez and then and then we ordered room service for breakfast and then we didn't we forgot to have them clear it and we ate outside so there was all our food outside and then we're sent out there we saw raccoons coming we're like all these motherfuckers are gonna eat all our food and then we came back it was gone it was like shitty hard potatoes and stuff where's the funny scene what's what I was throwing potatoes at the rabbit to it ate it I liked it is this the scene here for crying we don't know yeah here we go oh I just got it's the funny it's not funny it's the funniest fucking thing ever

so Henry's in here with his buddy and they each have a hooker tell me that his friend's reaction isn't funny okay hold on wait wait wait wait wait wait wait he's like what's going on he was like he was like oh I thought we were gonna keep her quiet he just goes what snaps her neck you don't think it's funny what rabbit person it's different a little killing a little cute rabbit to me is just it's hilarious because you outweigh it and you're so much bigger than yeah there's no reason to like snap his neck

I'd rather snap 20 hookers than a rabbit I would tell they're so cute rabbits are super cute hookers grow on trees right yeah right yeah are you with me are you with me anyways so my grandma we open with a clip of her doing her thing and stuff like that and here she is great she is great so this is like because this is always the thing you didn't know but do you remember when you first found out as a kid and not even as a kid I think it's a little bit older you hear about sex lines yeah and then I never actually called one I just heard recordings of them you know well because they're super expensive yeah it's like I once had a roommate in college we lived with one guy and it was like four of us girls and we all went for Christmas vacation and he stayed behind

we came home he spent $600 on phone sex and he paid it but we were like really dude really it's a lot it's a lot but back in the late 90s that's how you jacked it was right that or print and then you find out that there's call centers and that nobody you speak to ever looks like what you think they look like yeah that was the big rub about these so they have a yeah this she looks like Mrs. Coonders my first grade teacher that is Mrs. Coonders she doesn't look so good why don't you describe her well number one there's definitely teeth missing I don't think she has any she's got the big Ted Bundy glasses from the Ted Bundy glasses didn't he have big glasses no Stevie maybe Stevie Stevie definitely a glass and then like a real feminine kind of cool haircut

cool haircut soccer player yeah tennis player haircut the kind of the kind of cut that says it's shut down I would say it's really shut down don't touch my vagina it's soccer tennis player Russia Circa 87-88 yeah yeah yeah yeah it's intense hello sweetie pie hey baby fuck you yeah yeah so this is kind of stepping in her world looks like she does it from her home yeah and that she checks in with the call like so they patch her in and then calls are routed to her you know what a cool job I think you make a fortune don't I it's me I'm getting ready to log in okay thanks well now this is webcam girl you call from bitch no listen bitch are you are you touching that dick right now I mean look at this right here imagine this is who you're jacking off to yeah

oh this is what my grandma used to urinate in this bedpan I don't even that's a bedpan that you know what that was so traumatizing you told me that that I've actually blocked it out yeah why wouldn't you walk over to the toilet because this is old country this is this is how they did it back in the old country yeah but during the day she saw how awesome the toilet was right but at night the thinking is I'm so tired I don't want to lose my sleepiness by getting up and going to the toilet oh I just put the pan next to me I pissed at the pot wait what's tell me like the real mechanics of it though is it on the floor she kept it under the bed so she would like urinate in it but I mean in the middle of the night so what would you so let's say she gets she'd stand up obviously yeah

and then you squat down I'm guessing I never I never slept next to her so I don't know but she liked the bedpan and then she would dump it my dad would just beg her to stop doing it and she she wouldn't she was sold school but that that that does look like a bedpan yeah yeah she just you know she looks like to me it just looks like I mean and I apologize for ever this offense she looks like a white trash piece of shit she has that that real scumbag smoker smokers look to her like really you know really just really looks like shit that's interesting like you know how Chloe Savini seven yay can play white trash yeah perfectly so well in bloodline right like she's such trailer trash and in she kind of looks like bloodline Chloe's mother right this is like she's

yes just the exemplary piece of shit yeah trash yeah this lady has got if she were an actor she'd get an award that's right he's really looking like it right for white trash don't push up fucking cocky tell us not a fucking cocky anymore now it's a clip see your god damn fucking asshole is your pussy oh boy yeah I'm gonna take this god damn fucking dick and I'm gonna ram it straight up fucking pussy like fucking tomorrow oh my god wow I bet she got a lot of guys off back in her yeah yeah there's some dude isn't and you know what I like about this oh she is a vet you can tell she knows like if you're old enough to be describing drinking coffee she's laying back she's reclining in her house she's not nervous she's got the bedpan next to her she knows how to do this no it's old school yeah she's a

15 year old god damn fucking shit she's doing jigsaw puzzle right now I'll tell you one thing for god damn fucking sure bitch if you don't like that god damn fucking shit bitch you don't like a fucking thing because I will have you suck this dick however she's pretty great that's her name do we have a name or no grandma she's knitting oh no I don't think I should touch it plays all the different I'm not she's a sweet granny I don't know I never have even had my things read it before another campus not nothing no it might you don't mean my back door do you see so she can play submissive yeah or she can be a dom I like this is a real talent yeah I mean I could never do this it's probably depends on the call right right away she knows if it's from this number oh right like the

dom the submissive the granny she did that call like I'm logging in they're probably like this is a number right when she's like your ass holds your pussy in it like I'm gonna fuck you in it you know it's so fascinating now do you think that they gave her scripts and then she memorized probably back in the day somebody was like how this is how you do it when she started back in the 20s now back on the old phonograph for yeah what it do you think that grand melody are you coming yet I'm falling are you coming hello yeah I tell you one thing for sure baby I wish you were here right now so you could see me play with my big fat pussy lips this got me pretty worked up here this is getting me all wet I don't think she has eyebrows either it's troubling now she's

no eyebrows oh they're there so choice covered by the glass the glass are large yeah it's really hot crazy neck too interesting but if you were desperate this would be 100% option for you if I need to pay bills and they're like just talk to people and talk shit can I tell you what I would I think this is way more dignified than that thing we saw that was just an ass with two holes in it remember that oh yeah the guy that yeah they reviewed it very reviewed it yeah you fuck it in here yeah here and it's all together and you gotta clean out the chambers and you're like hold like that to me wait what do you mean more dignified dignified on whose end the man oh I mean I'd rather you call it if it was you let's say yeah I'd be like please call Granny

versus like us having to conceal well you can't look at her and still call I mean there's no percentage but you mean just call phone sex people right this is more dignified why why versus fucking that well fucking that thing okay so here's the thing yeah all it is that thing we're discussing it's like a woman's ass yeah and her thigh so it's like a chopped up woman which you like already this is fun yeah and then it's an asshole and a vagina yeah and there's cleanup yeah so where are you gonna clean that you're gonna put that in the dishwasher with all the other crap mmm I guess you could believe in the shower in the shower so when I'm showering I'm gonna fucking step on your girlfriend well I mean I could I could matter to the wall or

something that's disgusting it's so undignified wait so people understand it's a it's a toy it's a sex toy it's like a flashlight but it's actually sculpted to look like a woman's ass and then half a thigh so it's creepy and it's called I think it's called like fuck my ass silly or something yeah and then they made a black one so there's a fuck my big black ass and the guy was like a difference between the fuck my ass and the fuck my big black ass is just color tone well I mean I'm all for like the flesh line I think that's more dignified than the asshole then well just having the thing cut up it looks weird it looks like you gotta keep it under the bed like your mom's bedpan and that's another thing where do you keep it we've got a

kid how are you gonna conceal that thing you know walk in he's just like fingering both yeah it's a neat toy my buddy most people don't do that till they're much older than him yeah that him and I do it together okay it's not we're tag team in it like which hole you want pal I think I think for me just the cleanup sounds disgusting one of those things yeah how the fuck do you clean out something you jizz in like that he said you just they're connected so you flush water into one yeah but no guys gonna do that no I said I meant a lot of loads staying there yeah of course just a coagulated mess that is pretty raw yeah dude imagine sharing it with a nut like sharing it and you're all just like just happening right now yeah yeah dude there's dude sharing one

of those things right now there probably are yeah what if they're dudes who share fleshlight right now there are 100% gnarly it's gnarly when you see it in the movies what do you mean in the movies there's movies where guys share fleshlights not fleshlight probably they're probably yes there probably are movies that share that but there's you know movies where they share women oh right they'll dump inside together it seems a little more natural to me it's more natural it's kind of grody right it's not cool like as the woman I don't know like a guy finishes and then another guy right in there and then another guy and another guy yeah yeah yeah that's a lot of come that is a lot of come and that's a real that's pretty gnarly like you're super great you're in a special class after that

super gross you're in a very is that exciting you at all of that idea having just miscellaneous loads in me yeah of course like the more the merrier right I picture a lot of guys kind of waiting behind us a lot of times you know excuse me we're making love I picture like 20 guys waiting their turn that's so you know I don't know that's not a thing I can't wrap my brain around the thing for me I really because I never even had like one night stands because of that because I don't I don't like the idea of just some some stranger ejaculating I picture like a prison group though not like like a like duct tape like yeah yeah duct tape back there he's talking a lot Stevie yeah yeah there he is his turn it's duct tape yeah who's up next

good now boy I tell you one thing for sure baby oh yeah baby I've been coupling with my pussy that's my time to see him you like to fuck Asian pussy too in the ah oh my name on each one baby and I like you to play with my pussy really hard I didn't know that was coming asshole how do you say I'm all pressure that was pretty normal a good one good for her hey man she's making a living though you know she is she is making people happy and it's not televised which is great yeah right she doesn't have to do porn so her her life is intact it's nice that they showed us her taking a week as she did a mocking Asian voice my name is Rikki

got pee pee yeah thank you go pee pee now thank you very much and you're gonna drink all that god damn motherfucker come straight out of your god damn motherfucker oh my god you're gonna suck on my fucking nasty balls and you're gonna suck on my god damn motherfucking nasty asshole too bitch I love it she's doing house chores man she's basically the most veteran vet of all yeah oh yeah oh yeah she doesn't even blink while she teaches the others had to do at this point yeah good for her good wow I wish I could really I would love to hear her story oh it's probably great curious I wonder what how did I get that we've called her such trash and shit she's like a pretty nice lady I think it's old I don't think she's alive anymore I got a hot pussy for you I'm gonna throw up can we can we move it along

okay oh yeah I do baby oh yeah new accent oh no black man don't have any bigger dicks and white man the only difference is the god damn motherfucking color baby I could promise you that fucking shit she's reading a book and doing it that's how good she is she's so poor I think you're fucking it really hard for you honey this big black pussy fucking you right wow holy moly wow yeah what a smarty what a smarty smart pants she sure is I mean would you ever do that for a living yeah yeah I would give us a taste what your phone sex style oh what type of color is it okay just like a shy girl okay so I've never done anything before

well you say bitch you you shy yeah I'm scared of it what kind of tits you got what's your tits hangy low hangy low yeah you like having your tense your tits pinched at all huh you like um I'm scared I don't you ever have your this is like the first time we did it this way you ever have your tits sliced okay okay and see really good job thanks for coming in wait I was just getting warmed up thanks for coming in okay Jose will validate your part I was getting excited that was fun you slice those tits up yeah that's how you do you be like slice your tits what if I what if I cut your nipples off and let them bleed all over the desk punch you in the pussy right now exactly what if I what if I put two thumbs on your butthole

and then pull them apart that is kind of how I start ripped your anus that's how I started every love making session with me well with you know my whole life yeah that's really how it was my move two thumbs in the bottom and then as soon as I heard I would come I'm gonna fucking throw up that was fun we have some breaking news chips in a bowl wow this is much major it's major news we haven't had chips in the bowl in a long time well you thief is really looking at this deck you said Jesus that this was news right it appears that you hear a thief looking at balls so loud yeah geez he doesn't have a ball the other day it appears that

the legend is back that's right yeah we just received in news this morning that our beloved is is returned to work the most talented actor of all time who we thought retired actor is officially back I thought he was retired for good I mean he made quite a statement but but it's like Jay-Z when he always says he's retiring and then he makes another album it's like they can't stay away listen when you're good at something yeah God works through you you're not doing the work you know yeah and he felt inspired and he went back to work well he I shouldn't put this on the screen but yeah it looks like we play the grandma I guess that's that was on YouTube can I wonder if I can there's no insertion I don't know

what's in this video thank God there's no assertion with grandma this night this is pretty intense okay I'm trying to see if I can play any of it but how about just audio okay I don't need to see it does anyone else yeah I think I would really have you on the porn today it's very porny today yeah yeah let's maybe we should maybe not listen out loud in your cubicle max security alert oh that was like one eight what is that that is a a Mac alert going off that's like because you're watching porn oh that's just problem there's a virus ads yeah it's a virus blue band knows all about it yeah yeah yeah let him tell you what it is here it is all right do-do-do okay so yeah oh it's the whole scene here

I didn't want to see the whole scene so yeah Rocco's definitely back though okay well I thought I thought it was just like a little trailer I didn't think I was being sent the whole thing yeah well it's neat that he's bad god damn it why is this god damn you guys hear the news we got an email from a listener yeah Rocco's a Friday yeah back in action yeah he's back he's back the world of porn they're just not enough people doing it you know no one's doing it anymore so it's good to have somebody who's committed to the game poor guy it looks like he's just as committed and aggressive as ever neat what a talent so I do like his films I don't like that he's so rough sometimes yeah he's got a big hog on him like

his I like his attitude I like his enthusiasm you know he married a Hungarian lady can't say anything wrong with that yeah I mean is that your hall pass guy my hall pass guy Rocco's yeah everyone has a hall pass right you're like that if that way no Ryan Gosling really yeah that's everybody's hall he's your hall pass so who's your hall pass I don't know probably Rocco stop it what Megan Fox before her face got all weird what happened to her face she's too much plastic surgery but she didn't need plastic she was perfect before she did not need that yeah she looked like somebody actually drew her and yeah she's perfect yeah that's perfect Charlie's Tehran no but I like her I think she's great Charlie's Tehran is great she speaks

Afrikaans no yeah she's real smart she's real smart she's real smart so anyways this is fuck man this just fucked up my whole computer watching oh no yeah alright I'll get out of it that's why you gotta watch it on your phone right oh okay here's a good shot I can show I think I think I can show this alright right there can you see that yeah it's during the movie there's some saliva right there oh gosh okay he's a little old stuff you might have to blame alright okay yeah so do you think he's a little old to be doing a little yeah no he's way old to be doing this and is Ron Jeremy retired he doesn't know he still does it oh gross yeah he needed yeah he said stop yeah it's but then again he was always kind

of regular bodied if you know what I mean who Ron Jeremy yeah that was his thing he's like a regular body Rocco is 52 wow yeah it said as of 2011 he has starred in 1300 films 1300 in 2011 I just I wonder I mean we've asked this question before when we had Jules Ventura in here how it affects your personal life like you fuck for a living and then you come home and doesn't that kind of ruin it yeah for you and yours you know it's like comedy you and I don't watch sitcoms we don't watch comedies because that's what you do for a living you I'd rather vomit than watch I agree so who knows babe remember at the take a joke what's it called can we take a joke and we take a joke premiere the guy who I was like

oh that guy who asked the question yeah that's him oh so we did a Q&A for can we take a joke premiere and this guy had a question for me I guess what look for us look what he founded oh he's the founder of evil angel yeah he had a second amendment question yeah oh that's so interesting and I'm not a huge fan as a brand I'm just not interested in like our body crap oh he's also known as but man it says oh I know but man the but man I'm thinking a fart man well he he he also used to I guess employ our good buddy Yoshi that's right who's been on here a lot and Yoshi does not like them anymore for sure well here's here's why he's so big on that in 2008 he was indicted on federal obscenity charges by a federal grand jury in DC and he launched

a website then all about you know that and then a federal trial began with him as a defendant but all charges were dismissed so he's a very you know proactive he's he's really at the center of all that kind of exactly debate wow so yeah he was he was at that premiere wow I know because right away it's interesting how you know who the famous porno people yeah I know immediately you're like I know that guy isn't porno yeah of course you do well he's behind he's an owner though yeah but that guy as I say he does a lot of press he does interviews all the time he's he's not a performer you know a strong performer very strong performer oh yeah he can get hot anywhere that's what you should say but what about him but try to bait him into saying it again

he's like he can get hot anywhere that's this big thing yeah that guy can fucking any condition strong performer yeah that's what they're always looking for it's hot that's it hard but that it's freezing hard I guess yeah I mean difficult we should say like that is probably the most difficult thing yeah because you have to block out all the other stuff the cameras the lighting the pressure to come okay now come like that's that is a talent that is really a talent yeah it really is molly wow things got really dirty today yeah how that happened dad it's your fault my fault yeah you open with that no I didn't old lady I love that lady she's a sweet lady this kid have you seen this wanted to show you this this kid well

actually I want to tell the story first about about because this happens sometimes what happened when I went to the bar last night so before you met that dude yeah before I met that dude so this guy I walk up to the bar and he goes hey I know you and I go yeah and so and I gotta tell you I never want to presume that somebody like that definitely knows who I am like I don't think like that like this guy probably really does know me because sometimes people don't know you and they think they know you right but still this dude was adamant that he knew me right so he goes I definitely recognize you he's like your rock was a Friday your rock no it was it was funnier than that though he goes I definitely recognize you and I go yeah

and he goes where do I know you from and I said I don't know because I don't want to assume that it's what I think you know right and you can't be a douchebag and be like Chloe may have seen my yeah famous comedian no so gay so it is and you would be on a program sorry it was yeah you're so non-binary so he goes he goes you play college football I got like such an erection I wish that's what you knew me from you know I was like why can't that be true so I know he's like world's biggest cock champion I know you're like oh he was college football and I go no and he goes did I paint your hot rod and I go that'd be cool no and he goes did I pave your driveway I go who is this gypsy yeah I'm like no sir he

goes do we play in like that poker league together and I go nope very colorful life and he goes are you a marine and I go no he goes shit man thought I was one of those five I guess not and I go yeah I'm pretty amazed and then I I still didn't go well I'll volunteer what I think yeah he goes he just stayed there and he goes God I fucking recognize you and I go no man that's that's I don't he goes and have you ever been down to like you spent a lot of time in Long Beach and I go no and I saw like that he was really trying and obviously he tried all those you know his different guesses so then I kind of go like sometimes you just go like alright and you just walk I go I go alright he cuz he kept looking at me I go I don't know

that you have to have Netflix and he goes yeah and I go well I have a couple stand-up stand-up specials on Netflix and he goes no that's not it okay he goes it's gotta be something else I go I mean I guess it could be something else but that would be the the biggest exposure I've ever had nobody believes you yeah when you tell them where they know you from for the longest time but I know you and I'm like it's from road rules 1999 that's not it I'm like it trust me it is it yeah but I know we didn't go to high school together well as soon as I said that he goes that's not he goes I know you sure and he goes I've met you personally when I go then probably Marine Corps I wish you guys they go then

and then did you blow him behind the bush or after yeah I go after that fucking pure 21 10 minutes yeah I would pound some booze I got blackout and you know anyways there dude to do that on the down low yeah on family vacations they naughty boys do that they cruise and they look for other dudes yep to blow and then they blow really naughty boys you really dad it out we went to the pool we took our little jeans to the swimming pool yeah I'm gonna post the picture on Instagram it's so funny you put some black on your face but you forgot to do under your eyes so it was like caked on white white white and then here just your eyes and your under eye circles were like perfectly cut out of it like you

look like a raccoon and you're such a dad that was so white and creamy like you hadn't even rubbed it in at all I can even try some blood sun can burn bad I don't want to get a burn so cute so hot out how come you but you didn't think to like rub it in I did rub it in yeah that's how far I rubbed it in yeah to that level yeah I didn't care I really didn't like that's what happens we have a kid you don't care yeah and then I feel like you should acknowledge me for my fart oh my god there was so obscene that you did that I mean there were so many nice people just enjoying their day Christina walks up and she just goes like and like five feet from these people at the like they're eating lunch

by the pool and I'm like yeah Jesus and she's like well fucking deal with it did not say well fucking deal with it she goes smelt it felt it like that and I was like whoa no I believed on you and went Tom yeah dad that was really not that was a good fart it was really gross and I was wearing a wet bathing suit so it had that special kind of snap to it little pop you did it twice did another one you know you did it this morning too right I've been farting a lot but whenever I eat in restaurants and I eat a lot of meats at restaurants I fart yeah it's pretty neat yeah you don't see it all the time but then sometimes you do what was that stupid movie you were watching last night oh my god first

of all for the guys that I meet out in the in the parks and I just wanted to show this again so the Senate certainly can bring about a censure resolution and it's a slap on the wrist it's a bad boy Bill Clinton you're a naughty boy the American people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy a naughty boy I'm going to speak out for the citizens of my state who in the majority think that Bill Clinton is probably even a nasty bad naughty boy it's the weirdest thing ever and then of course he famously was trying to get b jizzles in the Minneapolis airport and he was arrested b jizzles bj's blow jobs oh yes so he was tapping his foot under the stone that's right he was the foot that's him well disgraced senator

wow yeah that's what they say those who call out the other ones they're like oh and you're doing bad thing they're always doing like those pastors that do it all us the worst they're always like that Ted Haggard was homophobic hating the gays and then he was doing the same shit yeah I watched 13 hours last night for most of it I think that's what it's called so it sounded like it's the equivalent of a chick flick for dudes yeah where it's all just like tough talk and macho it's about a horrific and terrible thing you know it's the the attack on the on Benghazi right the the attack that happened in 2012 a bunch of people died embassy yeah and no I hate it didn't do well it was bad it was it it was the weird thing was they

took this real story but they laid a blueprint of a just a regular action flick around it in other words yeah you've seen a million action movies that there's no reality to it I said that this time to go this is about Benghazi but we're gonna make it like a fun bro action movie it's about a real thing and they all had um the afghanistan beards yeah like they were out and they had the uh special ops beards right right and they you know what the guy shows up who's not part of the circle the gang who are you and he's like who the fuck are you i'm taylor snakey seal he's like he's a good one fuck that guy like all that stuff and then yeah and then uh it was also throughout the film uh an on again off again commercial

for mercedes oh boy five different new mercedes model cars in libya post post revolution qaddafi fallen right right a brand new uh g 550 everybody has them yeah okay all these new mercedes and it was to the point where you're like this is a mercedes commercial like this is getting uncomfortable you know like they wouldn't even swap out have some different cars um and they said fuck a lot like very superfluous use of fuck like and these fucking windows you can't see fucking shit out of here like why did you even need to say fuck and my fifth establishing scene was main character facetiming back to the house oh boy and his wife is like hey baby he's like how are the girls and the girls are like hi daddy he's like i miss you guys i really miss you guys

and then you see him in danger and he's like i miss my girls and he's making a video to send back to me like this is all and then the wife is pregnant yes the other part my wife's pregnant he's a boy's pregnant and the guy's like oh my god i'm a dad too and like it's just so dumb so dumb and you realize i don't know once you've seen you know movies for 30 years like i have i feel like when you see the blueprint like when you see how it's done you're like this is just the same fucking why would anyone feel entertained by this if it's dummies it's just the formula it's so boring the same reason sitcoms over and over people like just formula according to this i don't know if it's 100 percent true it says the movie was made for 45 million this sounds really low that's a small

budget for a michael bay movie didn't look that says box office was 69 so that's not that's not good and that's not good 20 million uh i just i saw one scene before i went to sleep where there are checking out the embassy security yeah and the guy's like his fucking breeches in these walls yeah there's not enough we're sitting fucking ducks right yeah it's a lot of like macho dick slaps yeah it's really dumb it's really dumb dick slappers um he in all his movies he did pearl harbour that was a piece of dog shit too even facetime in that you know god damn it that's right it's like 1940 i love you dad like this isn't working so good because i got a bad one yeah i love you let me see your project oh hey daddy yeah it's all so lame speaking of awesome movies yeah let's check out

yeah the new seek out my life nothing ever happens for the reasons you might think oh hey what i'm gonna come back do you see what they do now for him is that they they cut in lieu of showing him moving yeah in other words right that was an action sequence right but it was instead of showing him doing the thing there were like six cuts so you don't see his enormous body trying to do this complicated they faked movement yes they fake movement with other people moving one two three four five six six cuts right yeah wow yeah incredible yeah and they're like he just kicked that guy's ass i saw in six different frames

that vocal fries and tans too man that's by the way he's a million years old and the girl is like 19 yeah a million years that's not that's not the girl for you bruh that's not the girl for you trouble always comes in a little black do you hear that you guys paying attention to that vocal fry it's uh trouble uh trouble always comes in a black dress in a black dress in a black dress yeah trouble always comes in a small black dress always a long night huh sorry about your boyfriend sorry about your boyfriend his eyes were swollen shut for fat he ate so much sausage the night before filming beer booze that is that is just exploding that's just bloat yeah uh do we have his yellow

sunglasses all right here we go action morning had a lot of money of course uh seagal is famous for the entire film being in the trailer um let's do it could you get up for me what are you talking about two million dollars cash they're bad people technically it's not stealing it's kind of stealing hmm i can make this happen you don't have a plan do you yeah my plan is to go get the money it's always bad guys too he's always fighting the bad guys do you see how little he was emoting in that statement that's a plan to get that money plan is going to get the bad guys like that like there's nothing behind those eyes there's no emotion no dead fish coming out of it do you have a plan yeah do you have a plan steven seagal

eat that hot dog yeah my plan is to go get the money go get the money go get the money he got a little age on the end of it ask the grip to read the lines you know do you think that was asiany yeah plan to get the money right now or latin maybe plan to get the money like a cholo like no he he does like that but he blacks it up a little yeah he always does that yeah so he put the black on the end of that one get that money but like summer plan is to go get the money you know that's asian sorry does this come through yeah we're rich yeah yeah now comes the problem here comes yeah got the money let me guess the gangsters are going to come after them for stealing the money you took my money my money one way or another yes sir i'm looking for a man and a woman he looks like a

cop she looks like a stripper she looks like a cop she looks like a stripper yeah he said she she's twice right you think they would take that line again i mean we got a roll guys who maybe correct he said clearly right yeah she looks like a cop she let's see this makes no sense for a man and a woman he looks like a cop she looks like a stripper why would you leave that in the trailer this is a major thousand dollar production you're not going to shoot the lines right replace the audio afterwards in post post yeah that's a quick that's because seagulls editing this himself on his iphone i'm looking for a man and a woman she looks like a cop she looks like a stripper oh my goodness unreal unreal i cannot believe that that fly

i'm looking for a man and a woman she looks like a cop she looks like a stripper oh here we go this is him shooting someone dead yeah do you think when he's in this is clearly in europe right this is shooting in foreign countries yeah this is for sure oh yeah this was a could be middle east actually too no come here look oh wait that was supposed to be yes that's probably right yeah so when he's there that people think oh this is a major production yeah i think this is a huge movie and then and then he's like no we're making this for like 30 000 but i mean to his credit he comes out with a movie every five months or something more than that yeah every three months he comes out with a new movie absolutely it's a similar structure money all right so now he's helping

this is like kill me isn't this the exact premise of the last trailer we watched that's what i'm saying it's all the same i mean exactly exactly the same right there's some girl and but he didn't do kung fu with her yet he hasn't had the scene where he's like but he fingered watch me yeah they fingered that's why they're attached i got you back oh wow see how can up he's like but will they do kung fu together i've shot scenes like this dance times don't worry about that but do you think it's creepy to shoot a sex scene with him uh he's old as fuck he's not even cute we still get it up i bet that widows peak no he takes viagra that's all black ink that's all you think he comes black ink because it's so

in his in his scalp and stuff yeah you can do this chef yeah yeah you could have walked away with the money i'm not all about the money i'm all about the honor what you've got balls no sense thank you for noticing that wait if he's about the honor why would he steal two million in the first place it makes no there's look stop trying to break down our fucking premise to this just roll with it okay he got lion's gate though that's pretty good select theaters what theaters and on itunes production value on this one's definitely it is much better it is way better trailers a lot better too somebody

stepped up on this one yeah maybe they saw our last podcast about it what if uh they're like oh do you think your mom's house is honest i wonder how many uh movies he's in pre-production on a movie a week well actually you know how many came out in 2016 we're in 2016 yeah right 2016 there's one two three four five six wow six six wow six movies that's a movie a month killing salazar sniper special ops code of honor we love asian connection with we love the asian connection yeah end of a gun contract to kill is filming and attrition is in pre-production for next year what dude but he is just he found some investors and he is cranking them which one

did we just watch end of a gun end of a gun yeah you know what i bet they did because i think lionsgate picked up tyler perry's first few movies as well they bought like 10 tyler perry movies for like a million each yeah and bundling them and that's how he became so well known and then this guy he doesn't at this point you take your guys like him take it off the top right so what happens is a studio will go like we're only going to give you like two million dollars and make this movie yeah and he goes my fees a million right and then you have to make the movie that's right makes it for ten thousand dollars the whole movie my fee is one million nine hundred thousand and eighty nine dollars yeah but he's smart he's doing it he's yeah he's maintaining his own

career with these he understands for him yeah that there's a there's a demand yeah and then i've always loved his imdb bio stevens ago was a strikingly and somewhat voishly handsome often with a ponytail action star so dance right he definitely wrote that shit man of course he did of course he's like let me see stevens ago was the most beautiful way even striking yeah i'd say i'm striking speaking of from an early age speaking of from an early age teeth people we talked about talked about uh frosting with uh and how there's a whole i'm so over this push i know but there's some new information now you might be wondering what is oil pulling oil pulling is a very simple

thing it begins with taking a high quality vegetable oil i prefer coconut oil because it's other healing qualities taking about a tablespoon of it swishing it around your mouth and as you're swishing around this raw fat the enzymes in the fat literally pull bacteria pus and toxins from your body what's your pronoun uh like uh what's your pronoun what's her pronoun what's its pronoun i don't think it's a straight her what's your pronoun what the fuck is she talking about i think it makes sense what is zim talking about gotta wash your two fees with animal fats so let me show you real quickly how you do it oh please don't here's my coconut oil coconut oil i hate coconut oil grab a spoon i'm gonna vomit already and put it in your mouth

fuck off you sure as you're swishing it around do not swallow it because you'll be in basically ingesting the toxins that you're pulling so here you go put it in your mouth five to fifteen five to fifteen minutes and that's on the low end i've been seeing some that say 20 minutes oh you just swish it around your mouth for 20 full minutes you're just oh stop or you can just floss it's no stupid can't just floss fucking idiot i love all these urine therapy coffee enemas swishing coconut oil why why do we need these alternatives to systems we already have in place that are working pretty damn good um floss works cold medicine works do you need there's a there's a knock on on your whole floss though people are saying it's uh it's bullshit

yeah but what about just getting food particles out of your teeth like after you eat steak and stuff true true um gross a lot of people were so she's gross so so so in love with top dog oh m g's and his last joke call oh man let's revisit some of the highlights because it's so funny yes i've i've spent time just reminiscing over that just alone you know just hanging out thinking about how epic it was hey buddy it's top dog hey buddy it's top dog hey buddy it's top dog you need to wipe down it's top dog um here we go this is such a good call so top dog was on the phone we called him we just i know that he loves street jokes so we started reading them blonde jokes oh my god he lost his mind he lost his mind he laughed so hard he said

stuff that was so just him you know i mean like it was so genuine to who he was so authentic on that call i'm broad okay he just loved it down broad so a blonde joke yeah uh i love blonde jokes by the way yeah and he laughed so hard in this so hard yeah i mean look the always different i love it his laugh is the best i love those jokes oh my god a little blonde joke for the easiest just simplest joke he said and you remember he said on that call he goes sometimes i'll just say a joke like that to myself oh my god and laugh and i'm like what he he really likes telling him too he kind of stretched him out a bit like he adds more detail than you need yeah because that's how much he enjoys telling him i think he wants it to last

oh my god i mean i've never had funny the blonde jokes when i went out the only time i heard him laugh like this was when we went out to we went out to a uh a breakfast i met i went with him and a 90 year old man like 90 years old those two were telling each other street jokes and my dad was laughing this hard and by the way the 90 year old man was too i thought i was gonna watch him die in front of us i've never seen somebody he was like like shaking and then he was like now you do one to me oh no that's the old guy who i was like i don't have jokes like that and he was like what he didn't understand most

comedians don't when you ask him to tell a joke it's because we don't tell street jokes right that's from like the old time like shaky green and shit like that exactly red buttons oh my god you thought that was really funny you know that's really funny god there are such cornball jokes too i told her that only coach is going to london i think that's hilarious yeah it's good it's dumb broad that dumb broad that's really dates him let's you know who he is yeah that's his favorite part of that joke is it some dumb broad would yeah it's so funny that really tickles him that

when women are dumb that really gets his gets um broad yeah like when your mom does something silly he just loves to report the news back to us yeah you know your mom did today broads are different he says that to me sometimes you know if you're just talking like hey you know my sister did it he's like tell me broads are different yeah that's like his loves that shit loves that expression in the blondes so did i but i thought you might change his mind it's just a love set how does it laugh so hard i think that's hilarious oh my god yeah wait i think that's so funny and the thing is he's told these jokes countless times this is not

the first time that your dad's dude regaled us with these blonde jokes he tells me these he's been telling me these for years right and he still laughs this hard and he still screws up usually the setup and the punchline yeah then they got the guy he went to no he the other the other guy came in and like the it's over you reflect it up and he's like hold on to that it's really funny i can't remember how it goes what episode is the full conversation in blue band that people can listen three 59 yeah is it yeah the last one it's not in 358 it's in 359 actually no yeah you're right 358 358 okay so if you guys want to hear the whole conversation listen to episode 358 he also you can hear the the horrible jokes that were telling him didn't understand the

concept yeah of these are setup punch jokes so i would say set up and you just got to go like what it's like the knock knock yeah you just got to go who's there that's all you had to do so i would ask him i would do the setup and then he would try to logically figure out the answer so i asked him like this wholeless joke you know how do you know if you're in front of a polish firing squad you spoke about how uh the the guns are faced at the uh bad bad that's bad do you not understand how these jokes work you're not supposed to actually try to answer them and he and he did it multiple times like right after that he does it again i know i know he has to guess the punch line he can't just enjoy it but the biggest revelation

was him thinking that this is my act now right he thought you're asking for like 10 jokes into this and he's like you know you these are good like i don't know if you should do these but these are good i'm like wait what like you think this is how i do stand up now but do you think your dad laughs this hard at your acting hell no never laughed as hard at my act this is you don't do any one liners like this for this is good stuff here buddy oh my god what would you play oh my god it would kill your career if you know i heard that one before yeah that's a funny one actually yeah that's a funny one that's crazy right that's crazy he's laughing so hard yeah he's corny jokes he's corny blonde jokes just straight up joke book

just loves them man yeah it's a different time i guess they used to love i mean that's how people would do take my wife please take my wife please yeah you see the people just fucking falling out of their seats yeah they're killing crushing with that shit unreal man wow times have changed haven't they they have i just i've remembered a pollock joke i'm gonna i'm gonna tell her that's pretty offensive i'm a pollock i can tell those jokes okay you can say it tell me how do you know a polish girl is on her period how she's only wearing one sock funny you got any more no let me think about it okay i don't know okay yeah i know you got some racial

ones floating around your head of course i've memorized the truly tasteless joke book but they're just they just feel mean now they don't even it's a different time it they don't feel funny yeah you know why because they're in a new era i've been a man all my life i was born a man i'll always be a man but i don't understand that binary you're just man or woman should people say about being non-binary why are you complicating things so much it's really not that complicated why don't you just pick a gender did you pick a gender you can't just make up words do you think words just grow on trees all words are made up so you're right my sexual orientation has nothing to do with my gender expression oh god which bathroom do you

use probably the one that i'm less likely to get harassed in but you wear suits and but you wear dresses yes but you put on makeup well spot it why did you transition then why are you so ignorant but what does it say on your id oh it says none of your business so why don't you pick a gender there you go and why do i agree with all the shit people are because i watched it and i was like i agree with everything that the impression of the 80 year old third world that's me yeah what why are you complicating stuff i totally agree but you're born a man right that's how i feel you wear suits here's a news flash you're a fucking man we can't and we got to be real careful with ellis we have to call him baby self

yeah baby so because he can't choose his gender and we're in where it's child abuse tom i know if we dress him in blue i got to be real cognizant of it yeah i know baby self toddler self very um non-gender specific clothing and colors what is toys no no definitely no gender toys in this house i just give him plastic balls and sticks that are yellow or green well you know i get him everything i do i get him stuffed animals i get him trains i get him books i i don't know yeah really do i even see gender and but i don't know i was at the store we went to buy buy baby to get a new stroller yeah and the girl section is terrifying though because it's all like easy bake oven how to cook things and then there's like it's a toy mop so you can start

cleaning sooner the girl section was it's really gender and the boys though this is guns yeah car ceo game and the girls is like how to keep a house clean how to blow the ceo right it was it was really bad the girl stuff is pretty appalling yeah yeah dumb broads okay hey can you press pause i gotta get the groceries yeah yeah i don't know anyways um so hydrated uh did you get the food i did i have groceries delivered so i don't waste my life at the grocery store and i i'm so lazy i get them to leave them out front um and so we pick them up we gotta pick them up listen farts yes do you know how to fart do you want a fart can you really fart do you want a fart fart with me we think of this kid we uh this was did you discover this kid or was he sent

in um i think someone sent him in okay before this kid is kind of interesting it's not always the the the physically strongest who wins the battle yeah and it's not always the fastest right or the smartest right sometimes it's the person with the most stanima yeah you know that's the stanima guys yep wow those generations dying i think you think so yeah i think with the um like i said i don't know if i mentioned this i was a top spelling bee champion uh state of california top 10 you've actually you've actually mentioned it quite a few times top 10 and part of the problem is this shorthand uh texting i'm guilty of it i don't write out the word you're anymore i write you are you know i dk i don't know

that was an accident but it's still i like this great thank you yeah yeah yeah i think it's uh it's because kids don't read as much anymore i'm assuming right well what um what gave you that clue stanima so stanima let's see what but then again i've mispronounced words that i've seen written for years you know so i think top dog does yeah he doesn't remember i what it what's the word i fucked up uh on our show pretty recently oh it was uh con it was uh yeah sounded like that oh combative you said combative right like i've been reading that in my head is combative it's combative right yeah but then my mother was mispronounced words that and i heard them wrong for years children of uh foreign you know english speakers foreign accent syndrome yeah we get it

we get it bad because it's your developmental area yeah and you're hearing all these things said incorrectly yes in your case by both parents yeah both of them yeah you're a martyr what yeah pretty great stuff a lot of good words sometimes it's oh boy winning a battle yeah part of it is to get your rest and get your energy your stanima going before wait before you enter the ring the ring called real life you're not gonna win in real life if you're stanima so low he sounds like he almost got it right stan stanma he's close he's close you're not gonna win in real life if you're stanima so low it's closed yeah you know it's interesting yeah stanima stanima yeah is that we shame people like him for being no we shame for

all these other dumb things but we don't shame people for just being straight stupid right if we started a stupid shaming campaign yeah i think it would vastly improve people are in cool with that i'm cool with shaming uh this kid over stan stanima stanima yeah that's how he's gonna learn that we're not gonna win in real life if you're stanma so low if you shame him enough he'll learn how to say it correctly for the rest of his life it is interesting the shame is a great tool yeah shame is fantastic we should be using it much more i don't know why we stop shaming people it's fancy me it's like no shame is a good instrument for change i agree yeah you should be sure i gotta write this down it's interesting how this guy is doing kind of self-help stuff

interesting like tony robbins but look at him you know it's kind of interesting he needs to help yeah it looks like he should maybe read more of those books yeah that's why rest is important rest important so if you want feel like taking a nap you should take a nap yeah oh fingerless gloves and when you're sick you should stay down until you get better yeah see life is nice it's always a sign of intelligence his fingerless gloves it's just uh i think it's just a side of really hard times you're taking a nap you're in a bad place when you're sick you should stay down until you get better yeah that's good advice that way you'll win the bat match the bat match i don't give a shit i don't give a shit or how about this like if you if you stammer through your

video yeah maybe record it again right make it better nope you don't have time for that this guy doesn't he's a guru stop worrying about losing all these fake girls because you know why why their diamond doesn't true but one real woman one real woman that's gonna love you and respect you to the end of time is worth having maybe sometimes it's best to wait it out that was good advice good advice yeah that's actually good advice that was good here's what i want to know are you talking to yourself how old is this kid he's never had a real woman i know stanama talking about so him and duct tape should hang out that day like okay say you and this girl shop at hot topic and you find some similar

item you find a somewhat similar you know something interesting to talk about this girl shop at hot topic and you find some similar item you find a flannel uh you know something interesting to talk about yeah he and i wearing the same shirt a similar item a similar item you gotta see maybe maybe his parents are foreigners look i'm not a pick-up artist i'm just some wait a minute who knows the lighting who knows a little bit about game okay oh i'm a normal guy i'm just a regular ass do you okay bad boy you get your bracelets you know i always think about the bracelet market i know is comic con and and and you know geek girls and i'm gonna tell you geek girls have the same run the same way as other girls do yeah right the friendship yeah that's

that is a friendship you gotta get your bad boy bracelets yep yep yep tom have you been working on your bad boy accessories are you a fucking bad boy or not yeah i think so get the bracelets stand them up stay up stay stay on them all the shit's flying on jumping on different screens yeah they should really start shaming people for misspellings and you know and saying things wrong dramatically incorrect things and like intelligence things people should be shamed for their lack of intelligence you think so absolutely because i you can kind of control only if you're trying i think you should be shamed if you're trying to tell somebody what's up what's up and you're like in the case of these

videos he's the preacher right he's informing us he's telling you how to live your life telling us to up our stand them up you stand stand them up i don't know i think across the board we should start a shaming campaign i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm here's the most important thing ever diligence respect yourself yeah don't let someone take advantage of you or make you spend all their money on them and just act like a little bitch boy i think he's done that yeah yeah this now you realize that these videos are for himself well yeah of course of course of course yeah poor guy i understand now you just remember to follow your own advice you're not gonna win in real life if you're standing so low true get out there you have the stand them up to do it

stand stand stand them up stand my nose a lot of people really impressed that your mom's house was featured on 60 minutes and it's not every day that a show of that caliber features a podcast but with us it happened and we were very proud of it if you didn't catch the little segment they did it was on the anniversary of the Cincinnati fart and it really was pretty substantial i was surprised that morally safer covered the piece yeah i don't think they'd send him is it because he's dead exactly right yeah well he came back from the dead to do this let's do the piece i know yeah no but he they did one thing about morally it's that he he really does have stand i am more in favor i'm his face was melting off of his skull and he died the moment after he retired

yeah and i met him at the door yeah and then it happened it shook the room i've never been around anything like that before it's a little loud and i got a dad that really farts hi yeah um do you get to can someone book a room to commemorate the Cincinnati fart that happened last year book a room to commemorate what i'm sorry could you repeat that the Cincinnati fart anonymous caller at our hotel there's something called the Cincinnati fart right sounds like you're familiar with it a little bit yeah well i i went on this river cruise and they had a really big buffet and i was six months pregnant so like i ate way more than i normally would lasagna chicken pork broccoli garlic mashed potatoes two helpings of bread i had four desserts that day and then i

took a nap right after yeah i mean after dinner i went back to the room and you know she greeted me and i was just expecting to have a normal night but it was anything but normal what did it sound like oh and by the way catering wasn't that good and that's why i farted so big the food was garbage it was like a garbage buffet and i ate every piece of garbage on the table true i mean me look at me i've really had some great farts in my life but nothing like the Cincinnati fart it was legendary yeah the longest fart i ever had in my entire life and it was amazing i mean the the carpets changed color in that room the paint started to peel it was really really disgusting oh my god you

guys are so disgusting the Cincinnati fart was a legit 25 second plus fart i think the room still smells i'd be surprised if it didn't yeah that room does have this thing but they do make me do my drinks but it still comes back because i'm not sure what it is it was like garbage on top of vomit on top of shit this is the worst thing i've ever smelled people ask me christina how can i fart like you eat bad food it's just that simple i'm not your fart guru but i can tell you what you can do to help yourself you can eat bad today let us not only remember our fallen soldiers but let us also remember the Cincinnati fart what was so special about that room the Cincinnati fart could you spell that for me yeah f a r t like passing gas um can i put you on a freehold sure

yeah the Cincinnati fart thank you yes good work well blue band blue band did that working with 60 minutes yeah was that fun to work with that whole crew and morley's dead body oh yeah to see how pros do it was real it's real cool to learn yeah wow really neat i'm proud of us i'm more um and there's a smell when you enter the city of Cincinnati that can't not be explained but we may have found the answer big droopy dog eyes droopy dog no woman like that's on teller no they never let abroad on tv looking that shitty only dudes um all right we got it we got to run jeans okay uh thank you guys for listening uh here is the closing song it's now i'm in your ass yeah the street justice remix oh yeah yeah yeah that's the closing song yeah i think

you'll like it okay okay um okay we love you i love you la la i want to marry you at mom's house by by jane's bazaar i don't know seriously oh my god oh yeah yeah i'm gonna come i'm gonna get on your bomb i'm gonna come i'm gonna get on your bomb rock your world i'm gonna come i'm gonna get on your bomb i'm gonna come i'm gonna get on your bomb i'm gonna come i'm gonna get on your bomb i'm gonna kiss you girl you're gonna know i'm gonna rock your world