Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 391-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Starting point is 00:00:00 Uh, I just remembered I forgot to mention Mom Australia, uh, when I was doing my date, so all my Mom Australia friends down under, I am coming this August. Tickets are on sale for Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, and Perth. TomCigura.com slash tour. And now here's episode 391 of your mom's house. She's cake, rub off crisp. Summer! She's cake, rub off crisp.

Starting point is 00:01:04 What's up, bear? She's cake, rub off crisp. Summer! She's cake, rub off crisp. You returned it. This cake is just as juicy as my pussy. One question. Where's the cum?

Starting point is 00:01:19 Oh! This cake is just as juicy as my pussy. One question. Where's the cum? Dick French cough- Do you like the fack, oh? Do you like the fack? Do you like the fack?

Starting point is 00:01:33 Oh! Do you like the fack? Do you like- Do you like- Do you like the fack? Do you like the fack? Oh! Do you like the fack-

Starting point is 00:01:43 Mary-S Dedrij. What's up, bear? Summer! Mary-S Dedrij. What's up, bear? Summer! Mary-S Dedrij. What's up, bear?

Starting point is 00:01:53 Summer! Mary-S.. Müah Jesus och Do you like the fack? Summer! Jesus och Do you like the fack?

Starting point is 00:02:05 Do you like the fack? Jesus och Do you like the fack? Summer! Jesus och Do you like the fack? Do you like the fack? Do you like the fack?

Starting point is 00:02:16 Do you like the fack? Do you like? Muah! Do you like the fack? You're retarded. You're retarded. There you go. That was the great British baking show

Starting point is 00:02:35 recap that we did last time. Man, you sound worse than me. Why worse, sir? Well, we both have AIDS. We both got AIDS this week. Our house is covered in AIDS because our kid has it, and then we got it.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah, and I'm... You're going to sound like this in a few days. I'm a few days ahead of you. It's really fun. I'm trying to... Whenever this isn't working. No, next time. So our boy has had two colds in this one month.

Starting point is 00:03:05 He's 15 months old and it's been two colds. We somehow didn't get the first, the second one hit and everybody's gone. I thought I was in the clear. Yeah. Because I left town. Yeah. And...

Starting point is 00:03:18 You got it. I got it. The nanny got it. We all got it. Now the nanny's family is going to get it. You know, I started to feel it. It's such a drag. It was...

Starting point is 00:03:27 So I did Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh. New Haven. I'm sorry? Where? Jew Haven, Connecticut. Jew... I also did Burlington co-factory. Oh, you're going to like the way you look.

Starting point is 00:03:47 It's a different one. But so I was fine first to everything. Yeah. The third show of the week was the first show in Vermont. I'm doing the meet and greet and I just start to feel icky. Oh, so you made it to Vermont. So you made it like a day. Two days.

Starting point is 00:04:03 Two days. It's the third day of the thing. And then I'm like kind of... I start to feel just shitty on stage for the last show. And I go, oh, see, I didn't know if I was getting sick or just as an exhaustion. Sometimes you just have exhaustion. It feels the same. Road sick and cold sick.

Starting point is 00:04:19 Yeah. In the beginning, they're similar. And then when I got up for the flight yesterday, I was like, oh, I feel like shit right now. You got the AIDS. We both got it. And I'll tell you... I just canceled my whole week. You got it.

Starting point is 00:04:32 I got to recover for this weekend coming up. Now, here's the deal with... I have a weekend too. I'm in Brea this weekend. So we can't fuck around. The thing no one tells you with kids is that you get whatever sickness they have. And then there's no time to recover because you're still having to be a parent. Yeah, you don't get your day off.

Starting point is 00:04:47 There's no day off. Like you just wake up sick and horrible and then you take care of this kid. So you've really got to take your downtime when you can to recover. Otherwise, you're just going to roll into another sickness. Yeah. It's pretty real. It's pretty real. But we're here.

Starting point is 00:05:01 We're queer and we're non-binary and poly and we're going to make the best of it. Do it again. That was a Chinese-eyed British mouth. Mary Berry likes to fuck by Andre. That's a long title, but thank you, Andre. Where did the Chinese-eyes part come from? I don't remember saying that. You said that about my impression.

Starting point is 00:05:23 Okay, because you were like, I'll fall to fall to fall. I think that's not... No, I didn't go, I'll fall to fall. It's barely, barely good. You did it like that. You're doing Chinese accent in Chinese eyes. Well, then show me how it's done. I was British accent.

Starting point is 00:05:38 Chinese eyes, British accent. Show me how you do it. I guess I was going like... Yeah. You can't quite put your finger on, can you? Yeah. Like that? Caught him, mom.

Starting point is 00:05:50 Now, I fell asleep last night during the Great British Baking Show. Yeah. Season three, we're about... How far are we now? Episode six? We're getting in there. Yeah, we're down to the final six. Now, what happened on that final...

Starting point is 00:06:02 You know who they cut? No, tell me who they... Wait, who did you see get cut last? I didn't. I fucking spaced out. I thought you watched one with me and we started another one. Yeah, but I forget. Oh, Ugne.

Starting point is 00:06:12 Oh, you saw Ugne go? The Slovenian, Ukrainian. Yeah, wow. My tribe. I was rooting for Ugne. I liked her blue eyeshadow. Spoiler alert. Alvin got the axe.

Starting point is 00:06:23 Alvin is... The Filipino. No. Yeah. Well, you know, his bakes were very imprecise. He had timing issues. Actually, that's what... That's what was his undoing.

Starting point is 00:06:33 Yeah. Is that he... Yeah. He missed time to cut more things. You know, except for the middle challenge. Yeah. You've got time. You have a whole week to prepare your bakes, your signature bake and the showstopper.

Starting point is 00:06:46 You have an entire week to prepare. So there's no excuse for you to not be to time. You should be practicing at home all fucking week, dude. Sounds like you're really... Disapplying. Serious. Well, I've been on reality shows, guys. I know how this goes.

Starting point is 00:06:59 I know how this works. You think you would do well on the Great British Baking Show? Wow. You sound like a 75-year-old smoker. I know. It's kind of fun. Yeah. I think I would be the worst contestant.

Starting point is 00:07:12 I think so. I have no patience for baking because that involves precision, measuring patience. I have none of those things. You would be great, though. No. The irony is that you're a better cook. You're a better... You're a better baker.

Starting point is 00:07:28 You're better at that kind of stuff than me. I have no patience. Hmm. I don't think that's entirely true. You made... Remember the time we gained 50 pounds eating pecan pies? Yeah. Who was making those?

Starting point is 00:07:39 Yeah, I was. The real thing that I missed that I used to make is chocolate souffle. Those are outstanding. Yeah, but they're not good for you either. They're not? No. What's wrong with them? They have a little bit of sugar.

Starting point is 00:07:54 God, I can't even guess how many grams. Do you know how we used to eat treats like that every night? Yeah. We eat that shit every night. We would make souffle. It's awesome. Let's make brownies. Okay, let's do cookies.

Starting point is 00:08:07 Yeah. It wouldn't be to have a bite either. I was like, let's try this. And remember you and I, we both have this thing when we like it piping hot. Any treat has to be hot. Hot, hot, hot. Yeah. I hate it when you go...

Starting point is 00:08:21 I remember I went to a friend's house and she made lime lemon bars and I fucking hate lemon bars to begin with. And she was like, let's wait for them to cool. And I was like, no, never enjoy a cold treat. The treat has to be warm. If it's out of the oven, it should be burning your mouth. And that's how you know it's good. Let's open this show up and we'll get back into it.

Starting point is 00:08:41 All right, let's do the show. I'd like a soggy bottom. Tonight I'm going to answer your questions about the feces spell. Now, the feces spell is traditionally a spell that you can do on a person to get rid of them out of your life. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Starting point is 00:09:05 Don't burn me in the fucking stand. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Perlson. Christina Perlson. Christina Perlson.

Starting point is 00:09:18 Welcome to your mom's house. So loud. I bet you I'm going deaf because I can't hear. Probably way too loud. If you're wondering this lady here, you can see that she is from a black witch coven. Coven. Coven. Their Facebook group description says the black witch coven is an online international group of

Starting point is 00:10:11 eclectic witches, gypsies, warlocks, and oculus. Occultists. Sorry. Oh. Yeah, you're right. I'm sick. Led by black witch s. Might be.

Starting point is 00:10:23 So you can tell there's a whole group of people out there, you know. Listen to me, you piece of fuck. For one, I'm not bisexual. Two, I'm not gay. Three, no, I'm not goddamn fat. I'm skinny as hell. And four, I'm fucking wicking. If you have a problem, you can go fuck yourself.

Starting point is 00:10:42 Piece of shit. Somebody said. I remember that. Everybody that's wicking was a fat fucking retard. That guy got really mad. It's funny because on that's deeper, I had a woman email me saying that she was a wicking and she lives in this conservative town and she asked me whether or not she should be out and proud as a witch.

Starting point is 00:11:02 Yeah. And I said, absolutely not. You got your fucking mind. You know, not everything needs to be out and proud. Keep that shit to yourself. There's a lot you should keep to yourself. Lots of things. This generation's obsessed.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Everything has to be accepted and out and proud. No, you don't. Some things you just, it's not that you should be ashamed. Anybody value privacy. Keep it. Yeah. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to fucking like tell everybody everything about me.

Starting point is 00:11:28 I don't either. It's so weird that people are like, my greatest thrill is sharing everything about me with the world. Why? I don't even share my kids pictures online. No, I know. You know, but I share other things on that steeper, obviously. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:42 I share the stuff I choose to share, but not every fucking detail. Yeah. You got a fart? Well, I don't know. Why, why are your bowel movements so dicey today? Um, you know, when you get sick, you just feel different. I think it affects everything. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:58 Eating takes usually a bit of a dip or a change. I barely ate this week. Yeah. All I feel like eating is melted cheese on a plate. Yeah. I just been eating that. I feel like I don't know what I want to eat. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:11 That's the thing. Yeah. I don't know. Nothing tastes good when you have the cold. I think it kind of tastes like shit. You know what? What I want to eat is melted cheese on the plate with crackers and then chocolate chip cookies.

Starting point is 00:12:23 Like, doesn't that sound good? That sounds good. What do you miss the most of sugar? Of sugar. There's so much of it. You said waffles last time, but I feel like it's different when you're sick. Yeah. I would like just warm pastry kind of stuff.

Starting point is 00:12:38 Yeah. Chucky croissant. Chucky croissant. Or maybe, uh, I don't know. I want like, I just want warm doughy stuff. Yeah, me too. Sugar. It's good.

Starting point is 00:12:53 Yeah. Sugar pastries. That's what I want. I like that. Yeah. So, uh... Pasta. I want pasta.

Starting point is 00:13:01 Pasta. That's all you can eat when you're sick, really. You should be eating carbs. So the Filipino guy got kicked off. Was he devastated? No. He knew it was coming, I think. Because he had three basically, he had one really bad showing first,

Starting point is 00:13:14 one second to last in the middle, and then on the third thing, they were like, you have to just crush it on this one. The showstopper. Yeah, and he missed time then underbaked stuff. See, there's no excuse on the technical, I'm sorry, on the showstopper. The technical challenge, they're throwing you curveballs, you have to rely on your knowledge of baking. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:36 But the showstopper, you should have that one down when you come into the ring. There's no excuse to have a poor showing. You've got to stop the show. And there's no soggy bottoms. No. No. It did really break shit down, like looking at it, he's like, this is a good finish at the bottom,

Starting point is 00:13:53 like really inspecting it. Yeah. I feel like Paul Hollywood doesn't really fit into that cast, like he looks like a douchebag. He's got the gelled hair, he's got the douchebag goatee, the douchebag uniform, like the light denim, and then like the colorful button-down shirt, and like douchey shoes.

Starting point is 00:14:14 Like he doesn't fit into the Great British Baking Show. Well, I think he's supposed to not fit in. In other words, it's made up of the everyman, right, that people are just their amateur bakers. Right, the total lesbo, the one lesbo host, and then like the more hetero appearing, I don't want to say his pronoun. You really are, you're being very offensive.

Starting point is 00:14:34 Very insensitive, yeah. But he is the celebrity chef on the show, so he's supposed to be like, I'm not like you, I'm different than you, I'm above you. Right. I think this would come to cross. You would be great at that. At being above you?

Starting point is 00:14:50 Yeah. No, you know what's funny I was thinking about this? Yeah. You say that I'm the elitist, you know? Yeah. But I was really thinking about it, you're far more of an elitist. You know why?

Starting point is 00:15:00 You think every place that isn't here is dog shit. Oh yeah. California? What's that place? People don't know that about you. You really shit on places. And that's way more elitist than me. You call me elitist for liking nice things.

Starting point is 00:15:15 You know, like, oh, that's nice, Tommy, you'll like it. But you're like, what garbage dump outside of California? I call it everywhere outside of LA is just not LA. Like I don't want to know the name of the place. I don't want to know. You're such an elitist. It's just not LA. You're such an elitist.

Starting point is 00:15:32 Well, let me explain. First of all, LA is the best. Okay. We have the best climate. We have the best looking people. We have the best produce. The best Mexican food. It's true.

Starting point is 00:15:43 We have those lawyers. We have the Lakers. Bro. Bro, we got fucking all nationalities. Everybody fucking lives here. Two new football teams. Two new football teams. What's that to love?

Starting point is 00:15:54 The ocean, mountains. I can go snowboard in the morning and then go surf in the afternoon. It's a maze. What is a maze? What is a maze? What's not amazing about LA? Do you think that any of that makes you not an elitist? No.

Starting point is 00:16:10 It makes me a loyalist, I would say. Oh, wow. Symantec's your honor. I know, but doesn't everybody feel that way about their home? A lot of people do. A lot of people are just like, you know, Toledo's the best. Yeah, they love it. If I were in Akron, I'd probably be like, fuck everywhere else besides that.

Starting point is 00:16:25 That's true. Yeah. Not Akron. But I'm really an Angelino. But that's because I'm ride or die. Like I grew up here since I was four. This is my home. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:34 This is my fucking eight one eight till I die, bro. Yeah. Yeah, but I called you and I go at snowing and you go, why do you go to these awful places? Snow to me is inexcusable. Like I can't even fathom living in it. I hate going to it. Nothing makes me sadder than the snow in April. When you're in some poor city and you're just like, well, these poor people have to live

Starting point is 00:17:02 indoors for just five months, right? Since since October, they've been indoors since October. It's fucking April. Let the people outside. Let them have son. That's what I feel like. I feel bad for them. I feel fucking and I'm like, I can't do it.

Starting point is 00:17:16 You give me the fuck out of here. Yeah. I mean, my father had that same feeling in Canada. He was like, oh, it's fucking cold. Fucking the snow. Yeah. Fuck this. Both are like that.

Starting point is 00:17:28 Yeah. This is the best. Then fuck it. Fuck it, dude. I don't want to like wear coats and be unhappy. I kind of like the seasons actually. I really do. I do.

Starting point is 00:17:39 I like the seasons. I don't want to fucking throw up right now. I do. What about it? I don't even know you. I'm serious. I'm so upset right now. I like fall.

Starting point is 00:17:49 I love a proper autumn. I don't get a real proper one here until it gets down to 60. I got to put a sweater on. No, because the hottest months here are autumn. Sure. A little bit. But September, October are actually hotter usually than July. October is like the hottest month.

Starting point is 00:18:06 Yeah. So then November becomes basically autumn. Yeah. It's perfect. November, December. And then, yeah, you don't really get a proper one. Christmas. It dips down into 70.

Starting point is 00:18:21 Christmas morning. Burr. It's chilly. I turn that heater on. My time could get down to 46 degrees. See, but I'm saying those days are basically what a normal autumn feels like. I like those days a lot. I like autumn days.

Starting point is 00:18:35 Yeah. Now, you got upset this year because of the rain. Fuck. You hated it. You got you very mad. See, you don't like weather. You say you do, and then when you live in it, it's misery. Hold on, though.

Starting point is 00:18:47 It's misery. We had three months of basically nonstop downpour. I know. Remember when you wanted to live in Seattle for a minute? You were like, let's move to Seattle or Portland. And I was like, bro, you don't know what you're saying. That rain is real. I still want to move to Colorado.

Starting point is 00:19:03 I love Colorado. It's not LA, though. I know. That'll be the whole thing that'll happen if we moved anywhere. It's a problem. Is that it's not here. Here's going to be the problem. There's no proper Mexican food in Denver.

Starting point is 00:19:15 And I know we're going to get emails. Of course there are. No. Because there's Mexicans that live there. Not like LA Mexicans. Well, yeah, I know, but there's still Mexican. They left Mexico. It's not the same.

Starting point is 00:19:25 They always make the food to go with the tastes of the locals. For instance, I was in Kansas City once and I saw there was a Mexican dude in the kitchen and I go, bro, don't give me this fucking dog shit on the menu. You give me what you're having for lunch. Give me what the bus boys and you guys are eating. And he made me Mexican food, but it was diluted. It was like dulled down because all the honkeys are eating it. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:19:47 Okay. They still give you like the white man version. That bothers you. Yeah. We're right on the border, bro. We're right near Mexico. We're right there. Okay.

Starting point is 00:19:56 Okay. Do you feel this way for like Milwaukee or Florida? No. No. I love LA. I love living in LA. What's your favorite place to live so far? Oh, here.

Starting point is 00:20:12 For sure. Yeah. It's the longest. I mean, I like it here, but I do like the tattoo, bro. LA. I don't like it. You don't like any other city? No.

Starting point is 00:20:22 I'm just kidding. Here's the cities I like. Let's be real, real talk. I'm going to have upset a lot of people. The big ones. Name a big one. They're all good in America. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:32 I like Miami. Miami's like LA times a hundred. It's ridiculous. Right? Yeah. I like New York. Obviously Seattle, Portland, Austin. Minneapolis is great.

Starting point is 00:20:45 Chicago. All the biggers. Yeah. San Francisco. I lived in San Francisco. Love it. San Diego. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:20:53 Sacramento. San Jose. Those are all good places too. All California cities. I like Momver. I like all these places. Denver is my favorite. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:04 It's my favorite city. I just don't think I could live because I'd be very like, ugh. What would be wrong with living there? You just get used to living in this climate all the time. Yeah. It really is a weather thing too and like a lifestyle. I don't mind sitting in my car for hours. Living in June.

Starting point is 00:21:18 Oh. I want you to really pay attention to the weather. It's a good month. It's a really good month. Here's my problem with Denver. Yeah. It snows and it gets cold. It doesn't get that cold.

Starting point is 00:21:27 Sure does. No, it doesn't. For me? Yeah, but it doesn't get like Chicago cold. That's, that cold is unreal. I don't know how people survive. It's not brutal. Denver's not a brutal cold.

Starting point is 00:21:38 Where's the coldest in America? Wisconsin. Probably the North Dakota. Minneapolis. Minneapolis gets fucking cold. Well, in northern Minnesota, like it's actually colder. God damn. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:50 Those poor people. You just get used to it. Is that what it is? Yeah. Absolutely, you get used to it. How long would you think it would take me, someone who was like almost born and bred in LA? This is how it is.

Starting point is 00:22:02 Yeah. Probably five years. Five years. I mean, the second time it came around, you'd be like, oh fuck this again. Yeah. Third, fourth, fifth time, you'd just be like, yeah, this is how it is. Cause some of those fools go out in like a thin jacket, dude. Like I come, I come rocking a parka to these places.

Starting point is 00:22:19 Is that real? I'm serious. Yeah. Because you're, I was walking around, uh, Burlington and the co factory, the co factory. And it was, uh, I don't know. It was a cool day, but for me, like I wanted a hat and a jacket and everything. I'm not used to it. And I saw, you know, college kids walk around in T shirts.

Starting point is 00:22:42 Yeah. Because, because compared to what they were coming out of their winter, this was a much warmer day. That's how I used to be. It's like Canadian tourists. When you see them in LA and they're, they're in the water in our ocean in February and you're like, that's a Canadian. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:57 Cause I should, does not phase them. But an Angelino will be like, hell no, let's wait until August before anybody goes in there. No, it's, it's very much you get, you adapt your body adapts. When I moved to Florida, I moved in November and I'd been living in Cincinnati, Minneapolis and Milwaukee. I moved in November to Florida in Florida in November, where I lived, it was probably like 50 something. They were all in sweatshirts and jackets and I was in a T shirt, like sweating.

Starting point is 00:23:27 Right. People thought I was mentally ill. They're like, what is wrong with you, man? I just moved from somewhere where it's fucking five degrees outside. Yeah. It's fucking awesome. Yeah. But the next year, I had a sweatshirt on.

Starting point is 00:23:41 Oh yeah. Just get used to it. Used to being hot all the time. Yeah. You're not used to being warm enough. You still are like, it's hot. It's hot. But it does.

Starting point is 00:23:49 It does get hot. Yeah. But you always insist on it being freezing cold in our bedroom and then off it. Like, you have to get, here's the thing, you have to let LA, like the heat just get in you, bro. You gotta like. It's 15 years. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:05 Just live in a nice, let yourself be warm, dude. Let yourself be. There's many other spells that you can do just to get somebody away from you. Our tits are going to fall right out of that dress. The meaty spell is the next level in causing harm to somebody. Is that how you do that? Before you do this spell, you just want to think about that before you put in the effort to actually do this spell.

Starting point is 00:24:30 Master Max, that's where is she? Is this New Zealand or is this Australia? No, but can I ask you about eyeshadow? Is it normally the eyelid and then the whole eye area? Only if you're 15 and goth. But like normally, what do you? No, when I was goth, this is how you're, this is how Susie Sue, Susie the Banshee's did her and that's how we did it.

Starting point is 00:24:50 What do you do now? Look at what I do now. Right. So what? Natural. But you do the whole area though? No. You're not supposed to put eyeshadow from the bottom of your lid up to your eyebrow and

Starting point is 00:25:01 then around the eye. That looks crazy. The eye socket? No, dude. That's like the woman. First of all, that's how you know the bitch is crazy. Number two, when the bitch draws the lip liner around the lip, if you know a bitch that draws the lip liner up around the, yeah, over the line of the mouth and then she fills

Starting point is 00:25:19 it in like that's her lip. Please. Bitch, please. In saying that, the, the facie spells that she does that too, see? Please, you're interrupting. The idea is, in saying that, the, the facie spells to do is quite simple. The idea is to get some toy, I use the paper. What you do is you write the name of that person on the paper and then what you're really

Starting point is 00:25:45 doing is going in there, you're taking a shit on the paper and you're flushing them out of your life. Wow. I think that's actually just something you should probably do. It seems every day. Well, every day, but it also seems like that makes a lot of sense. Maybe just the mental process of doing that feels probably very cleansing. Don't you think?

Starting point is 00:26:07 Yeah. It's very cathartic. Yeah. It's also, um, a colossal waste of a time. No. Colossal. I know I said sorry. Colossal.

Starting point is 00:26:16 A colossal waste of your energy. Isn't it? Probably. Like to really hate that person. How about just forget it. Let it go. Go see a therapist. I'm going to go take a shit on this paper.

Starting point is 00:26:26 Generally, for a beginner, this spell will maybe take up to three months to do. Oh my God. Oh, every day. And that's an answer many people like to hear, but that's a reality of it. I'd like to hear a different answer. A long time to get into state and to focus and actually believe. So hanging there, be patient, but remember, this is a spell to cause harm to someone you really don't like.

Starting point is 00:26:56 So use it with caution. Now those tits, I know they're going to spill out of her mushers or they're about as hanging as mine. Now, as somebody that was goth in high school and I read a lot about witchcraft and all this stuff, you're not supposed to do black magic. Why not? Because it's rooted in bad and it's just going to come back and get you. Everybody knows that.

Starting point is 00:27:18 On the paper. Yeah, everybody knows. Everybody knows you're not supposed to do that. Bad karma. Dip shit. Big asshole. Stupid, huh? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:38 Would you do a spell? I would do it. A fart spell. I would do that shit spell, the feces spell. I don't see why not. Why does our car smell bad? Talk about that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:50 That was, you know, it happened to both vehicles. Yours and mine had stinky air conditioners. Why? I don't know. It was really upsetting. Well, but what causes that? I smell like bung. It smelled real, real bad.

Starting point is 00:28:08 Real. Yeah. For a turn on the car and it was like the car was for you. Good one. I don't know. Car, you nasty. Huh? I took mine in and they go, well, you know, rodents burrow in the engines.

Starting point is 00:28:28 And so, you know, maybe we'll find a decompose and that's what you're smelling them. I was like, oh, nasty foul dog. And then he checked mine out and was like, no, it wasn't there. It's just smells like farts and he's like, we just cleaned everything, changed the filter. Smell better. So your air conditioner just started smelling like farts. Like bung. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:54 Do you think it's from your farts in the car? I didn't ask, but it didn't seem like that would make sense. They can't do like a forensic autopsy or whatever on the car and the. F-A-R-T. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But then yours started to, yours started to smell later.

Starting point is 00:29:12 Yeah. So maybe all your farts built up in there. You know what I thought it might be? Cause I, sometimes I make like a cucumber, apple, like blended shake thing. Yeah. And I leave it in there. They mentioned that actually. No, they really did.

Starting point is 00:29:26 Cause when I picked yours up, they kept it for three days to do this. Um, he's like, I think the smell is pretty much taken care of, but there's like a juice thing in there. And that might smell now cause it's just been left in there. Thanks for leaving it guys. Yeah. You think I wanted to save that? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:44 It's very courteous. Did you leave the empty soda cans in there too? They left everything. Thanks guys. Leave it exactly as I gave it to you. Pretty cool. I need it exact. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:00 Well, I'm curious so that they don't have any theories other than a dead rodent. Yeah. He's like, or you know, like the filters could just be filthy, but. That's what it is. The air filter. It didn't make that much sense though. Change the air filter to get old. Huh?

Starting point is 00:30:17 Who's that? That's the guy that told you. Okay. Yeah. They were terrible. Who was terrible? But yours, yours. The car service.

Starting point is 00:30:25 Yeah. They kept the car for fucking three days, bro. I basically had the routine service and I was like, oh, also we check out the air conditioning it smells. How long will this take? He's like 60, 90 minutes. I was like, yeah, I'll go home. Just call me.

Starting point is 00:30:40 He's like, oh, we need to keep it overnight. I go from 60 minutes to 90 minutes to overnight. And that sounds really good. And we don't have a mute button. Yeah. Well, we do actually need a cough button on the mic. There's a, I can, I can take care of you. There you go.

Starting point is 00:31:00 Now no one here. Well, somewhat muted. Are you done? Yeah. You're finished. You're finished. You're done. And then he called me the second day.

Starting point is 00:31:11 We need to keep it again. Like, what are you fucking doing to this thing, man? Well, they wrote it in a, uh, so lame. Stupid fart. Take off the whole dashboard. You know, every car I've owned eventually smells funky though. I had a Volkswagen Jetta. Remember that one?

Starting point is 00:31:33 And that one smelled like crayons for years. Yeah. Now I blame it on an accident. I got into, I got re-rendered and the trunk was jammed open. And it rained in the trunk. And I think it got moldy and the small, it smelled of crayons for years. That's possible. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:31:49 Yeah. Before that, my Chevy Nova, I just smoked cigarettes in there and the ashram was always full. That's so gnarly. I know. Isn't that crazy? Not to think about that. Whenever I see anyone smoking in their car, I'm like, oh, bro, really? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:03 Hard fucking core, right? Especially when you see really nice cars. Yeah. I'm just out of red light. I see this brand new Lexus next to me. You see the window cracked as much and the person's just smoking and like, you're smoking in there. Nasty.

Starting point is 00:32:18 Brand new, beautiful car. I know. No regard. I mean, the worst obviously is windows up. Like you have to be a real lunatic. Oh my God. Do you just sit in that? Dude, and people did.

Starting point is 00:32:28 I mean, back in the 90s, 80s, dude, you'd see that all the time. Sure they still do. Ugh. It's nasty. You fucking nasty. It's Timmy Hill 2.0. Oh, I should probably drive the heater, speed up here. Ugh.

Starting point is 00:32:42 This is a sanitation driver. Take a hand me better. Timmy Hill 2.0 and going after the mattress. Okay. Without getting out. That looks like fun actually. He's trying to grab a mattress. Without getting out.

Starting point is 00:32:57 Without getting out. I love it. He's driving the sanitation truck and using the claw basically, right? The arm to see if he can do it like basically remotely. All right. I hope my angle doesn't get bad, but. Do it, dude. He's got it so far.

Starting point is 00:33:11 Turn, turn, turn. He's turning it. Oh, sweet eggs. Oh, he's killing it. Look at it turn. Okay. Let's get out here with the claws here. Oh, oh, it's bending a lot.

Starting point is 00:33:21 It's bending a lot. He's doing it. Yep. Let's see if he does it. Oh, oh, oh. Okay. All right. All right.

Starting point is 00:33:30 We got a good grip. Yeah. This guy's got skill. Yeah. Yeah. Look at the other guy in the other truck. Nice, dude. Oh, I'm so cool.

Starting point is 00:33:48 Nailed it. Punks. Yep. Good for him. Yeah. I bet that took years of experience. That was a, oh, for sure. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:33:58 You can't do that first week on the job. Hell no. No, no, no. Good for him. That was funny. Yeah. Yeah, let's do something not so funny. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:34:07 Hello. And thank you for joining us in covering your Dometic 300 series RV toilet. To operate your Dometic RV toilet, first add water to the bowl. No shit. Press the way down on the pedal. Water should enter the bowl, but the flushing mechanism should not open. If the flushing mechanism opens, release pressure off the pedal until water only is in the bowl, please.

Starting point is 00:34:29 Water in the bowl prevents odors from entering the RV. And it may be necessary to add water before flushing solids or toilet paper. To flush your Dometic toilet, press down all the way on the pedal. For liquids, press down for one to two seconds. For solids, hold the pedal down as long as necessary to remove all the contents. The contents. Not to leave the flush mechanism open for too long as it will fill your holding tank. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:59 See, this is a unique boring video because it's boring and not difficult to understand. Right. So it's a whole new level of boring. It's boring and like... Boring and you process it. Yeah. Yeah. It's almost, it's almost better to boring not understand it, right?

Starting point is 00:35:15 Yeah. Because I'm challenged, but that was like double bad. Yeah. That's the worst when you're like, I get it. I get it. I got it. Wait. So I got to hold it flush down and then the contents go away.

Starting point is 00:35:29 I got it. Fuck. What about the yellow? Stupid. Stupid. I think those cold medicines are really fun. Did you take it? No.

Starting point is 00:35:45 You got to try it. It's a fucking party. Are you partying right now? Yeah. I'm having a great time on the show. You know what? Speaking of toilet seat, I went to see a movie by myself. I saw Trainspotting 2.

Starting point is 00:35:55 Yeah. Which is fucking awesome by the way. I don't know why nobody's talking about it, but it's a really good movie. It stands on its own if you haven't seen the first one. You can see the second one. Anyways, I went to go potty and you know, you know what I'm saying? It's like a nice theater. I fucking pull my pants down.

Starting point is 00:36:10 I sit down and it's wet. I sat on a pea covered seat, bare ass dude. It was so bad and it's happened before. You know, that's not the first time. I just didn't look because I was out of it and sick, but fucking nasty bitch is pissing on the seat at like a nice theater, dude. That's so wrong. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:34 We're not at fucking Angel Stadium. It's gross, man. Have you ever sat on that before? I've sat on piss. Yeah. It's gross. It's upsetting. It's so upsetting because it's like stranger piss.

Starting point is 00:36:48 It's not even somebody you know. That's the worst part about it. Yeah. It's like who's fucking AIDS P is on me. I don't want it. AIDS P? No. Jesus.

Starting point is 00:36:59 But then I started getting paranoid. I'm like, can I catch a disease this way? Like can I get ass herpes or something? Yeah. From someone's urine? No. Urine is, it's really sterile actually. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:12 Nothing bad can happen. Oh my God. You guys are so disgusting. You can't get sick. No, right? No. I mean it's just on your butt skin. Like on your thigh skin.

Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah. It's fine. I get piss all over your thighs. Nothing happens. Nothing will happen. Speaking of PB. Yeah. We took FIFO and Schnitzel to the vet last, I don't know, two weeks ago and FIFO they

Starting point is 00:37:37 took his urine and then we get a call three days later, all the urine samples not strong enough. I go, yeah? Well, we can't tell. It's not concentrating. What you guys need to do is tomorrow morning, when he wakes up, his first morning pee, you guys have to collect the first morning pee. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:37:55 I go, what? Yeah. Okay. I'm on it. Yeah. I go, how am I supposed to do that? Well, you know. I'm a fucking dog trainer.

Starting point is 00:38:07 I go, how am I supposed to do that? Well, you know, he lifts his leg or does he squat? Yeah. I go, he fucking lifts his leg. He's a real man. Yeah. Yeah. And she goes, well, what you can do, you can get like a Tupperware container and just

Starting point is 00:38:25 put it under there when he lifts his leg in the morning. I go, okay. Yeah. I acted like. Fuck off. You know? Yeah. I mean, who the fuck is going to do that?

Starting point is 00:38:35 As much as I love FIF? I know. How am I going to even do this? No, it's fucking crazy. If I'm going to fuck my dog with somebody, I'm going to find a trained professional to fuck my dog with. Yeah. I mean, our dog, by the way, I don't know how everybody, some dogs I could see getting

Starting point is 00:38:51 away with that. Our dog, as soon as you reach down there, he'd be like, excuse me. What are you doing? And he would hold his pee for eight more hours. Yeah. Yeah. He's not the type of dog that just goes like, oh, okay. FIF's not easy going.

Starting point is 00:39:04 Yeah. No. And he's, he's on the ball. He knows shit. FIF's like a person. He's really smart. He'd be like, get the fuck away from me with that shit. I don't care.

Starting point is 00:39:14 So we're not, we're not going to know if FIF's kidneys are functioning well because I'm not going to do that. Yeah. Oh, and then they go, he has a slight heart murmur. Here's the, here's the heart specialist you can take him to. What's so funny about that? Because like, I mean, I love my dog, but a heart specialist for the fucking dog. Seriously?

Starting point is 00:39:41 Heart transplant? No. Open heart dog surgery? They just want to see how, to what extent the heart is having a murmur so that when you put him under for a mouth cleaning, no, the heart specialist will tell you, this is the safe range for anesthesia. Oh, okay. That's why.

Starting point is 00:39:59 Oh, I thought she wanted us to give him open heart surgery or find a donor, give him an organ transplant. Why, why am I? Oh, because I love bucking dogs. I'm just going to take the dog. Yeah. Yeah. Come on.

Starting point is 00:40:12 You have to understand that. LinkedIn is helpful. You have to understand that. You get that, right? About the anesthesia? Yeah. Yes. But I just, it struck me as very ridiculous when I heard that we had to take our fucking

Starting point is 00:40:26 14 pound dog to a cardiologist. But now. Get out, get out of here. But now. Now I understand. Did you get it, asshole? Did you get it? Uh, you get that if a dog's going under, he needs the, to tolerate the anesthesia.

Starting point is 00:40:48 Well, why don't you collect his urine tomorrow morning and then I'll take him to the cardiologist. Stenema. We can call it a week. We can spend $5,000 on this dog's health care. I would spend it on, on feasts. You want to clone feasts. I do. I want to clone them for 25,000.

Starting point is 00:41:05 I love feasts. I love him too. He's the best, but I don't know how I'm going to collect his urine like that. That's insanity. Why can't we just have him bring him in again and have him take urine in that time? I think what I might ask is if we can bring him in first thing in the morning, like if he holds his pee all day, he hates peeing all day. He hates going outside for any reason.

Starting point is 00:41:30 I mean, right now he's still asleep on the couch. He loves it. He loves being under the covers and sleeping. He wouldn't eat or pee or shit unless we forced it on him. That's his life. Yeah. Yeah. That's true.

Starting point is 00:41:42 Bitsy on the other hand, different dog, totally trusting, would let me do that in a minute. You want me to pee where? Sweet. You know, a lot of people, we have new listeners all the time, are always trying to figure out what's the origin of the show, what's the show actually about. At our core, we are denim specialists. That's what really what this show is about. I mean, it's not a mistake that you're wearing that jacket in that put.

Starting point is 00:42:10 Of course. So whenever it's possible, we like to thoroughly dive into the denim world. Oh. So finally, back to our tests. First thing I would look at would be, I guess, stretch. Is it real denim? Is it just stretchy cotton? Taylor Rabi-Metano says overall the quality of all three jeans is good, but finds the

Starting point is 00:42:35 ones from Target, which are the most expensive at $10, don't have strong side stitching. Wait, the most expensive is $10? Yeah. What jeans are they looking into? I don't know. Let's see. I didn't know you could buy jeans for $10. The Daily Mail in the UK on the denim for a couple, okay, they investigated.

Starting point is 00:42:52 Goodness. You can get $10 jeans. The idea is the more, the better. So this one doesn't have any, this has one, that one has two. The one with the double stitch are the $7 pair from Kmart, but the hem on those Kmart pair isn't as good as the others according to Rabi. I could have told you that. This hem, compared to that hem, the quality is pretty noticeable from the inside and outside.

Starting point is 00:43:18 This guy's the real, this is like the denim doctor. Yeah, I gotta tell you, if you're looking for bang for your buck for quality and price, I think that like old school Levi's are the way to go. Yeah. If you don't want to go designer, just like standard, don't you think? Yeah, yeah. Levi's are high quality for sure. Yeah, for the money.

Starting point is 00:43:40 For the money. If you're not wanting to spend like $100. On your AGs and your... AGs are amazing. They are amazeballs. Remember when your friend's dad came here and we were like, cool dad jeans. I forget. You don't remember that?

Starting point is 00:43:54 My friend's dad? Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah, he came over here. And they were like, look at his jeans. He had like, they were like baggy on the side. Yeah. And I was like, you know, if you want, we can go get some high quality ones.

Starting point is 00:44:09 I'll give you some nice ones. Yeah. Get them all. He's like, what do you pay for those? I said, I don't know, like a hundred and something. He's like, what are you fucking out of your mind? Yeah, it doesn't understand that. You know, the jeans do really make the person.

Starting point is 00:44:25 Good jeans are everything. Yeah. I'm serious. Like now that I spend a little bit more on jeans, Hudson's great, AG is great. Lucky brand is great. Yeah. Lucky makes good jeans. Because when I was fatter, like after I had Ellis, it was really important and I was buying

Starting point is 00:44:40 gab jeans. Those suck. They're not good. I don't know. Not for me. I wore them for a long time. Yeah. They don't fit as well as Lucky for me for some reason.

Starting point is 00:44:48 You just have to find the brand that works for you, right? The thing about Lucky was that they always had crazy sales. Yeah, they did. They're pretty good. When we went there together, they were like 50% off. It was crazy. It's not bad. It's really good.

Starting point is 00:45:00 That's a good pair of jeans. So, which is the overall winner? So... The overall finish in terms of the quality of finish regarding the hem, the stitching on the waistline, the finish, the detail, I would still go with this one. Interesting. They're the pair from Big W, currently on sale for $7. $7.

Starting point is 00:45:18 Geez. I hear we're talking about a hundred. I know. Geez. But those aren't good jeans. No, I know. The stitching is bad. So how do they all stand up after 10 washes?

Starting point is 00:45:27 Oh, no. Well, this is the Big W pair. You can see that there's a slight colour fading and some shrinkage. The target pair have shrunk much more. Whoa. Their colour the best. Kmart, though, the difference is obvious. After 10 washes, their colours faded slightly, but they have clearly shrunk.

Starting point is 00:45:46 Man, they shrunk like three inches, man. What is that? Yeah, it's a lot. Now, I've bought a lot of clothing from Target. Some of the best shirts I've ever had in my entire life have been from Target. Black standards. Yeah. Sometimes t-shirts you can win.

Starting point is 00:45:59 Oh, sometimes cheaper. The better. Yeah. That's true. Target's got great clothes. They've got a few. The Morena line. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:07 It's really good. I don't understand anybody that buys anything for a kid, not at a target or an equivalent. Old Navy. I'm saying an equivalent. Like if you go in there, you're like kids don't know what you're putting on them. You can buy an entire wardrobe for $100. So we do.

Starting point is 00:46:23 Yeah. For LJ, I go online, Old Navy, and I buy all his shit, and then he grows out of it in two months. Yeah. Why would you spend? But some motherfuckers spend a lot. I know, because one time we went to some strip mall boutique place, and I bought an outfit for like $100.

Starting point is 00:46:39 Yeah, we're like, oh no. And I was like, oh, this is great, and then you realize he puts it on, he fucking throws shit on it, and then he's like, and then it doesn't fit like in a week. So I was like, yeah, it's the last time I've ever done that. And also with newborns, they get you there. Remember we were at Target, and they're like newborn shoes. You're like, motherfucker, you're not going to put shoes on the newborn. Don't even buy that.

Starting point is 00:47:00 The only thing you should buy for a newborn is onesies. Yeah. And fuck a snap. I mean, buttons. Don't you dare get buttons. Zipper, zipper, zipper on everything. Yeah. They shouldn't even make children's clothing with the buttons on it for babies.

Starting point is 00:47:14 Crazy. So, Gene, this shit is big time. This weekend, it's your weekend back, basically. Yeah. April 13th through 15th, I'm going to be at Brea. That's this weekend, April 13th through 15th. Come see me. I'm working out my hour.

Starting point is 00:47:32 Well, it's already worked out. I'm running the hour, I should say. And then April 28th and 29th, Sacramento at the punchline, May 4th and 5th, Phoenix, Fartnix, stand up live. May 19th and 20th, Jewdork titties at Gotham. Come on, you club. June 1 through 3. I'm in Momver.

Starting point is 00:47:51 What do we come up for, Denver? Dongver. Dongver. Dongver. Dongver. At the Dongver Comedy Works downtown location. And then June 16th and 17th, Manfran Disco at the punchline. Come see me before I record this hour.

Starting point is 00:48:06 Very excited. This is your boy, T-Nuts. And I have some major news dates, and in addition to the dates that you may have heard about. This weekend, San Jose, Meet Rattle Washington. There's a couple tickets left for the late show in Seattle at the Moor. The first show is sold out. Portland, Oregon, both shows are sold out Saturday. So I added shows in May.

Starting point is 00:48:32 May 13th, I added a fourth show. In other words, a second show on May 13th, which would be my fourth in Portland overall. Also at Revolution Hall, Ryan Sickler is coming with me. The great Sickle Cell at Eugene, Oregon the night before. And we added a late show in Portland. If you didn't get tickets, this is the last time you're going to get a chance. We have a month until the show, and it's 10.30 on May 13th, a Saturday. I added Tucson, Arizona, Tuxin, Arizona, the Rialto Theater, June 9th.

Starting point is 00:49:07 I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Virginia, Virginia Beach, Virginia, Greensboro, North Carolina, and Charleston, South Carolina at the Charleston Guy Yard Center. Gay, I don't know how to say it. It's probably Gaylord's. That's July 15th. Those are all in July. All at thomsogurr.com slash tour. In addition, I have added Reno, Nevada, Temecula, the Pachanga Resort and Casino.

Starting point is 00:49:39 Those are June 10 and 11. Like I mentioned earlier, the Coddenham, the Cone Denham Entertainment Center in Greensboro. Wait, what's it called? Cone Denham Entertainment Center. Seriously? Yes. Seriously. I swear to you.

Starting point is 00:49:56 Sorry, sorry. That's in Greensboro, North Cacalaca. Wow. You picked that specifically for the name, right? Right, 100% picked that specifically for the name. And I'm very excited. I've never been. I will be going there for the first time.

Starting point is 00:50:10 I've been nearby, but I've never been to Greensboro, actually. That's not far from where I went to college. I've been to Greensboro. You did? We went to a wedding there. You and me. Seriously. Seriously.

Starting point is 00:50:23 Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. We went to, was it Casey's wedding? May have been. That was in Greensboro.

Starting point is 00:50:31 Again, not L.A., I just call it not L.A., not home. You know what it is too? I don't like to travel anymore. I've seen a lot and I'm done seeing stuff. I just want to stay here. Yeah. That's the truth. I'm serious.

Starting point is 00:50:46 You know, I don't really enjoy traveling anymore. Yeah. Traveling wears on you. Don't give a fuck. Don't want to see it. I'm kind of like your dad now, but you are smart in that, like for this upcoming, you're going to all good places. Places I want to go, but I'm saying like for leisure, for fun.

Starting point is 00:51:02 Yeah. I don't want to fucking travel anymore. I've seen it all. I've been everywhere, dude. I've been all these fucking continents over it. I just want to stay home. Do you want to cringe at something? No.

Starting point is 00:51:14 Just that. It's only at someone's naivete. It's not like a cringe, like gross thing. So probably isn't me from Road Rules? No. No, but this one is going to... Okay. Man, this one's hot.

Starting point is 00:51:26 It's one of those things. You know what's so embarrassing? You have to turn it off. Yeah. It's called Road Rules Season 6. I'll listen to this. This is a hockey player being interviewed. Obviously Nelson Mandela is one of the most significant historical figures of the 20th

Starting point is 00:51:39 century. What knowledge or awareness did you have of him growing up, or when did you learn of him? Well, obviously growing up, he's one of the most known athletes in the world. Nelson Mandela? Yeah. One of the most known athletes. They're like, what do you know about Nelson Mandela?

Starting point is 00:51:59 Just wanted to ask you. I mean, obviously Nelson Mandela is one of the most significant historical figures of the 20th century. What knowledge or awareness did you have of him growing up, or when did you learn of him? Not much. Well, obviously growing up, he's one of the most known athletes in the world, and a lot impact in any kind of sport that he did, that I, you know, even playing hockey, everyone

Starting point is 00:52:26 knows him, right? From being the type of person that he was off the ice. It's unfortunate that he passed away a year ago, but... Is there somebody whose name sounds like Nelson Mandela? I'm sure that's what'll be the explanation, but I'm just... He changed a lot while he was with us, and he's a tremendous guy. Hockey in Johannesburg? And, you know, maybe...

Starting point is 00:52:54 Are they in Africa? Because it says Giants of Africa behind them. Are they in Africa? That's what I'm saying. Oh, I think you're right. And it says Nelson Mandela Foundation. So he's at... Right.

Starting point is 00:53:09 He's in, like, Joburg or something right there. Or at least something affiliated with him. South Africa. Wow. I just think the way he met that is, you know, to me growing up, playing sports to my parents was something really special because I can share, you know, being, try to be a leader. Dude, it says celebrating Nelson Mandela on that. Things like that where, you know, when you're a group sport, you need to do that, right?

Starting point is 00:53:38 You need to be there as one, and I think that's... It's hard. It's hard to watch. It's great. I mean, poor son of a bitch. This guy thinks he was a hockey player. And he goes on. Dude.

Starting point is 00:53:52 Oh, my God. So Toronto Maple Leafs. Gold tender Jonathan Bernier on Nelson Mandela at a one-year anniversary of his death fundraiser. Dude, it is at his event. And they're like, he's a great player. Fuck, this guy is a fucking... Yeah. You think you'd look it up, right?

Starting point is 00:54:12 Or you think you'd ask, hey, who's Nelson Mandela? And I understand he's a young guy. He didn't grow up with apartheid, apartheid. But, you know, maybe... Black. Yeah. apartheid. Oh, man.

Starting point is 00:54:27 Maybe, I don't know. I mean, fuck, I know who he is, but that's because I grew up in the 80s. I heard of Nelson Mandela every day on the news, right? Yeah. That was a big story when I was a kid. So here's a... I looked it up. I guess this is old.

Starting point is 00:54:45 Yeah, because it's a one-year anniversary. So it says, we all make mistakes, but a mistake can be magnified when you're a celebrity and you say something incorrect. Maple Leafs. Gold tender learned this weekend when he said South African president. Nelson Mandela was one of his favorite athletes. Maybe he could play hockey, Nelson. Who knows? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:09 Not a lot of hockey rinks. He apologized after a game. I'm embarrassed. I didn't mean to offend him, his legacy. I got flustered with the red carpet and I was nervous. Everyone makes mistakes, and that was me that night. Poor guy. Now, was he in South Africa for the event?

Starting point is 00:55:32 No, I don't think so. No, no, no. That would have been even way worse, sir. I think they hosted it in, I want to say maybe in Toronto or something. In Canada. Yeah. That's hilarious. He just thinks everybody's a hockey player, that guy.

Starting point is 00:55:49 Yeah. Yeah. Well, who knows? Maybe he played hockey on his off time. No, I don't think he did. Man. And I like that those journalists did not bail him out. They're like, this is gold.

Starting point is 00:56:07 Dicks. Yeah. Just let him fucking make a jerk out of himself. Yeah, of course. Poor guy. Son of a bitch. You'd think you'd ask if you're going to the fucking fundraiser, right? Like, hey, who's, uh...

Starting point is 00:56:19 Who's this Mandela guy? Right. I've never heard of him. I meant to go. Which is okay. He's a young guy. Maybe he'd never heard of the man who, you know, ended up part-time, spent time in prison. His whole life in prison.

Starting point is 00:56:35 Oh, no. Oh. I should blow my nose now. And sing. This is when you don't understand. The car? Yeah. That one is so dumb.

Starting point is 00:57:13 Jesus. That's terrible. Yeah. That was really bad. You're black. You're black. Remember when we went to South Africa and we ate steaks every night, around midnight, and gained so much weight that we had to buy fatter pants.

Starting point is 00:57:27 The fattest clothes that they have in Africa. We were the fattest people in Africa. Yeah. We weighed in Africa. This is the fattest clothes we sell. Seriously. We went to the mall. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:37 I remember and they're like, oh, we don't even have that size. Yeah. We were so fat. I think these people are African. They're covering a Beyonce song. It's pretty, it's pretty great. You want to hear it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:57:52 You're black. It is Cape Town. Here. Okay. Everything. Everything you own in a box, yeah. To the rest in the closet.

Starting point is 00:58:09 That's my stuff. That's my stuff town. That's all. They missed itsай . That's. That's fine.

Starting point is 00:58:17 Could you walk York Council eat the same time? Okay. It was terrible. That was really bad. That's really terrible. That's terrible. I think it's going to rip.

Starting point is 00:58:25 You at the very same time. White belt, You're pale. Jesus. Horrendous. Right. Horrendous. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:33 I think my son and I could have done a better cover of this. Man. Do that left. Do that left. Do that left. Do that left. Do that left. Do that left.

Starting point is 00:58:46 Was that in Afrikaans? Well, no. That was English, but it's clearly not there. You know, their forte. Do that left. Do that left. Do that left. Do that left.

Starting point is 00:58:58 Do that left. Do that left. Yeah. Hit that T, man. Sounds like her. Yeah. Beyonce. Beyonce.

Starting point is 00:59:06 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I miss South Africa. Let's go back. I like it there. That was actually a great trip. We didn't go to Cape Town, which a lot of people. It was a bummer.

Starting point is 00:59:16 We didn't go to Cape Town. Yeah. Because everybody was like, how could you come here and not go to Cape Town? But we just, we were there two full weeks. Two full weeks. And we went to Durban. Mm-hmm. Joe Bug.

Starting point is 00:59:26 Yeah. Or else. Um. Durban. Joe Bug. One other place, right? There was one more place, I think. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:34 Well, we went out to Soweto. Soweto. But we, no, we did shows in three places, didn't we? Yes. I forget the third spot. Nando's Chicken sponsored it. So we ate Nando's every night. And what was the lady who was with Trava?

Starting point is 00:59:47 Periperisos. Right, Trava. Trava. Pleasure. Pleasure. Belles. Pleasure. Trava comes.

Starting point is 00:59:55 Pleasure. Oh, thanks for the chicken. Pleasure. Pleasure. And I remember the very funny Ian Bag was always offending people. Oh, man. But he could do it. He would, he would talk so much shit to Africans and they would laugh, dude.

Starting point is 01:00:14 Yeah. That was, that was a fun time. Where the fuck did we go, man? Why can't I remember? Yeah. Durban, Johannesburg, what's the other fucking big city? Oh, hello. You're black.

Starting point is 01:00:28 Oh, South Africa songs. Just remember this. Yes. Yeah. Pleasure. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Starting point is 01:00:39 Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.

Starting point is 01:01:11 Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.

Starting point is 01:01:19 Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss. Pleasure, boss.

Starting point is 01:01:27 Pleasure, boss. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss. Pleasure, boss. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:01:35 Pleasure, boss. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:01:43 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure.

Starting point is 01:01:51 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Ple chambers. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:01:59 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:07 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:15 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, staff, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:24 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:32 Pleasure, guys. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:40 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. 01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,080 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, warrior. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:48 Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.

Starting point is 01:03:04 Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure, boss, pleasure.

Starting point is 01:08:49 Ple probationary. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.

Starting point is 01:17:37 Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure. Pleasure.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 391-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

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