Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 422-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 15, 2017

When the mommies prank any media outlet with Mommy lingo we LOVE IT! Get em, jean! Amazingly, someone else hates Puking as much as Tina and Tina has some advice. Equally as astonishing, Adam Carolla is on the same page as Tina with...showering?! PLUS, we have She's Retarded remixes, Louie CK talk, profane coaches with kids and MORE!!

uh... thank you have an S for sending this over uh... thanks everybody that saw me over the past week i was in uh... chester's new york jew dork titties and barfalo new york uh... really fun time really great shows josh potter was with me had a great time

was their part of the new york comedy festival was awesome always fun in jew dork titties uh... next week thanksgiving week i'm in riverside one of your favorite places and now to read over and i'll try to have other places

bunch of restaurants have car washes and i'm gonna be at the fox in riverside and leave us with a call the fox i think it's called tatter right now you say it that it's a hitter the hater now is there a river in riverside that's what i'm hoping that if you don't mind not doing it

uh... yes i'm very excited i'll be there next wednesday riverside fox performing arts center saturday it's the most exciting show you've ever the most i've ever seen you for a show i'm doing is that i'm at the will turn on that's right

that's like l a royalty if you're at the will turn you've officially made it dude excited that's where all the big stars perform september or september november twenty-fifth on their saturday after thanksgiving there's a couple hundred tickets left it sold really well so i'm very excited and then fartnick's arizona stand-up live december

eight and nine uh... the early show on the night the sold out the early show in the eight is really close to selling out get those if you want i'll be in uh... phoenix and then from there have that i'm in maui december fourteenth and on a little december sixteen

at the hot the theater gene what do you got november it's now november nineteenth they had a date wrong where with what houston originally it was november eighteenth now it's changed to sunday november

nineteenth at the common take a comedy festival if you're gonna come to houston see me there and then january twelfth here in pasadena california at the ice house comedy club february second and third shartlake titties in utah it's a great it's a great club you've never been there right

well it's i like the name of the city no i've never been a shardlake shardlake is great it's beautiful and that club is great wise guys yeah it's really good okay and then february twenty-third i'm doing the calusa calusa casino uh... tickets go on sale for that i think by the time this drops and then march thirty and thirty-first

portland at hereiam comedy club either march thirtieth and thirty-first of twenty eighteen that's wild you know what that your show in portland is already selling yes it's selling i know it's crazy that's the mommy power and and now netfrix too okay what

nothing good job all right is that it gene what did i say something wrong you're good so uh... tomseguro dot com for my tickets christina p online is that right yeah christina p online for jeans's tickets

is that good are we good okay all good y'all finished all that done done jesus i don't understand why you're making fun of my accent i have for an accent syndrome all right let's get into it

i'm so excited there's so many things to discuss there's a lot of fun going on in this episode really a lot of fun um... all right here we go jean heeee haha

shout out to everybody justin says hey guys marty is jacked he keeps his jeans high and tight justin yes he does that's true yes i've seen him with jeans yes very high very high very tight and big arms actually he's uh... i don't know do you think he's bigger than you are with respect to muscles i don't i don't know this is a big guy

who is randy don't bring anyone loving to this yo merman the fuck is there well well well welcome to your mom's house with tan segura and christina pizzi

welcome to your mom's house you know uh... did you know that jean won uh... eto y? yes i did i heard now someone said that he lip-synced or something yeah he got ripped apart by country music fans yeah he lip-synced on the cma of the country music awards or whatever

and he's such a good entertainer he does entertainer of the year he doesn't need to do that i tell you he wouldn't fucking do that wheeler walker jr that's right well he would have sung that shit but old wheeler's been banned from those uh... old wheeler's been banned from ever he's about i think we're gonna see old wheeler on supreme court in uh... arguing his case that he's being censored target walmart they won't plug

they won't they won't play as shit fucking too dangerous man yeah that's too bad that's why car entertainer of the year that is just so crazy how does one major g swap up swap up up here he's still terrible his instagram stories and i watch every one of them i

love them i cherish them because they're so shitty did i love by the way this shit when uh... yeah nerds it's happened over the course of the show a bunch of times no but like when our listeners uh... get up a shout out on like a new show justin says hey guys marty is jacked he keeps his jeans high and tight that's true that's true and then they have no idea what's going on it brought me back to look at page one

of my drops page what's that monkey Todd remember all the original he got on tmz on their uh... the ones they take call and i think the internet show yeah and he got harvey levin that was the first time we have harvey levin the first time we ever had a mommy sabotage yeah this is page one like

yeah right when the show started he was talking about where to do i guess that's just uh... on harvey harvey that's just the uh... but he caught on i remember he was like alright you know where the dudes are at harvey he's like okay where are the dudes at? this is great because this is like a local radio a local news show like a local affiliate agency

rochester new york i think that's what this is and so it's like two square for those of you who aren't watching on youtube like two total you know probably newscasters like they're funny but they're you know they're sweet they're they're nice guys yeah i mean they're kind of boners but they're like nice funny guys they got bamboozled by a mommy

so happens man play with mom you never know what's gonna happen you know shit gets real that made me laugh i like that stuff a lot i fucking love that stuff yeah it's like it's it kind of is uh... you know it's to me it reminds me of the hey mommy thanks gene stuff yeah right through that's i almost forgot about how much fun that was

usually if you listen to the show now uh... i can't you know give it that much context all at this moment but you look up i think there's a there are some on youtube if you look up hey mommy thanks genes with relation to your mom's house is where we got people to go to drive thru's

and basically refer like you use uh... jokes from the show in their drive-thru orders is amazing well and it's something that in private life you and i still practice all the time we yesterday decided to actually have fun for the first time in a long time and we took off the rest of the afternoon and we went to eat italian food and then we went to a movie

and everybody we call mommy or jeans mommy or jeans mommy or jeans and nobody still to the same thing like the guy shaved parmesan onto my plate and i go wow good job gene you're welcome he doesn't register nobody has and saying good job to somebody is like especially if you act impressed like good job genes

as shaving parmesan yeah so silly it's not something to applaud someone i think you just thought like this guy is a fucking idiot is to a drug yeah good job good job really impress the report that water chains good job and then we saw the most boring movie on the fucking plan yeah you know i kind

of regret switching it we were gonna see for which is like everyone's raving about but i was like i want to see that shit i didn't care well you're not a comic book not like sports growing up so yeah not in that but yeah there's we had different word for them too but

yeah so i went i saw a murder in a title i was like let's go see that i knew that would make your bring joy to your heart yeah so we saw murder on the orient express which is based on the agatha christy book from nineteen oh two and felt like they filmed it Jesus christ yeah

i mean it's a little dull because it's once it's one backdrop and johnny depths in it and he's a good drug you know right drag dragged along and then it there also was the i don't know um you know in in a thriller where there's you need suspicion you do need to like uh... lead people and then misdirect yeah but when you do it like ten eleven times it also starts annoying yeah i guess it starts to be annoying well that

and when you don't clue the audience in on how the detective is coming to his conclusions well he'll be like they won't even show anything he'd be like i noticed a scrape in the painting and you're like what painting we never saw that so he just deduces shit with it yeah it's like superhero style yeah i noticed that you farted when you walked in the room yeah all right and then that means you must have breakfast around eight really that's impressive yeah well one thing that really bothered us on in this

film uh dame judy dench is in it and she's great she's i mean i could watch her do and she has two little lap dogs two i thought she had one i thought it was two and the whole time i mean i was concerned because i'm like where are these dogs shitting and pissing yeah on the train they never show them going we never talk about it it's kind of like that martian movie right with matt daemon where they're like where do you jerk off right and

when are you and how come you're not watching porn when you ask for stuff well that's what bothered me about this film much like the matt daemon film why aren't you answering the important questions like yes we know who done it but where are these malteses taking their shits and their pisses yeah because you're on this train for days it's what the next movie will probably be about is what i'm thinking when they do a sequel where where do the dogs shitting piss what a neat pitch and also like i watch people on airplanes taking international flights with their dogs

and i think well how are those dogs pissing and shitting it's another movie right it could be a movie about that or a television series you're thinking yeah that's right i thought we could you know i know you have some tv meetings coming up i do big network ones too i thought you could pitch that and i thought for the dogs pissing and shitting you could call it where do i go where do i go where do i go you go where do i go now let me give you some advice when you when you walk in you go

where do i go and they'll be like well i'll be like that's what i talk to you about it's a show about dogs shitting and pissing in places that you don't know where they're going and then they'll be like oh that's intriguing they're not gonna say that yes they go and then you go i need i need three acts and i need 22 minutes and i can blow people's minds in this country yeah i have a feeling i should open with you guys are dog lovers right that's true i feel like that's the way to get them on board and then i could be like but where do they go when people are on

trains in cars start with like your phone and go and you hold it up like that and you show them you're like there's a picture of my dog and they're like oh that's adorable and be like do you know where he's shitting piss today and then they'll be like i'm sorry and be like he went in a backyard because he was home but what about when you see a dog on a plane you know like right away you grab him in like that oh i like that one yeah and then if they don't like that one i was thinking i could follow it up okay well not that one but what about

dog dick afternoon which was one of the original great ideas on this show right a pitch where you take different breeds of dogs on a walk and you explain to the viewing audience their habits and behavior and you know the history of the dog and then you masturbate the two dogs and then you see if they have different styles of orgasm i'm thinking abc right right right they do racier stuff foxes this is more in line it's like a fox show yeah

who are you thinking of hosting you me of course wow it's your show okay what movies these are malon he's in the dogs it's you yeah okay yeah cute blonde and you go like hey guys you like dogs and then the end the dog episode the dogs come so right now you have a show pitching dogs shitting and pissing and coming i can't think of a a more exciting talent moving forward for the networks do you think our manager would like would be what is he gonna like the i would tell him this i would say this i

have a couple great ideas i want to surprise you don't tell him don't tell him the pitch is in advance at all in advance just drop it on him in the room and i'm sure he'll be like yeah he'll really get on board with it i'd believe i've known him a long time yeah he'll like it he'll like it he'll like it a lot i really like this idea but i am serious it was distracting me the entire time as a dog lover i was very upset at the idea of dame judy dench keeping this dog hostage on this train sure yeah i'm serious though how do you think they

they let the dog piss and shit on the orient express that's a really good question i mean i i don't know how they did it period in that era i feel like right now we live in an era where they're like they'll build an area for dogs right airport there's like relief area for dogs but that's just like the 1930s or something 20s i think yeah like i guess i just let it piss and shit where it wanted i think got depressing too when they're unfolding this oh my god it's a real bummer yeah really fuck me in the ass man you really fuck me hard fuck me in my asshole man

i didn't like that at all uh what is this a question for you in immatofia oh a metaphobia what is that i'm in a metaphor but i don't like vomiting oh okay i've talked about it before on uh that's deep bro yeah i talked about on this show actually yeah okay good i love advice on this one some advice regarding a meta what is it a metaphobia i'm a 33 year old woman i've been suffering for over 20 years how are you able to get through with pregnancy my biological clock is ticking with the thought of morning sickness terrifying

thanks amanda amanda i hear you because i had the same exact fear when i was pregnant with ellis and i will tell you that i never vomited with him so first of all it's a metaphobia is a phobia of vomiting and i've had it since i was like nine years old and a long time oh stop stop it i don't like hearing that you know i don't like it i'm gonna rip off my headphones today i'll close it i close it i close it anyways um it helped me to talk about it with my therapist if you have a therapist i would recommend doing that and then and then i will tell you

that i when i was pregnant with ellis i would get nauseous but i would will it away but the other thing is i remember you told me that but then you told me later on somebody told you about a medicine yeah so here's what you can take you gotta get you gotta full disclosure i'm not rick recommending you take this you need to talk to your physician don't fucking i didn't make you take it you have to ask all right yeah so there's a medicine that can suppress the spasms in your stomach uh so again like that is something you can ask your doctor to prescribe you if

you have a severe subscribe prescribe subscribe did i say fucking subscribe no but you're correcting my i'm thank you so much you're right yeah i got a subscription for it yeah um because it's actually i mean i've read about it let's say you have food poisoning it's not necessary for it to come out of your stomach and it can go out the other way which is why a doctor would subscribe subscribe it right for you there you go yeah so you can wheel it away and i i have maybe i'm just i cannot believe you

okay i do think you pulled it away because all the time i've known you yeah not once not what how many years i've known you a lot but let's say we've been together i mean you started dating in oh five yeah so yeah yeah i have 12 years knock on wood i have not vomited remember when i got food poisoning i don't like talking about it i puked in the yes stop it i remember in the sink and i didn't like it and i remember seeing the green parts of it and i fucking flipped out you flipped out quietly you know well i've learned to contain my anxiety

i get it and i'm so afraid of when ellis is going to get food or stomach problems oh yeah because it's hot it's hot it's gonna happen it's gonna happen and i of course i'll be alone with him you'll be on the road well speaking of dog come and vomiting uh great thanks speaking of dog come and vomiting uh Jesus christ what what kind of segway what are we gonna go into now i thought it makes total sense oh louis ck has been okay um now he's one of the the titans of our of our industry and and you know obviously if you were alive you've paid attention to it

probably if you follow comedy and like comedy podcasts you're probably well versed in already but yeah there's this um you know there's this shakedown going down that's probably the wrong term but there's this uh jizz shakedown the jizz down that's going down in hollywood no it's overall i think it's it's actually a really good thing it's like checking some pretty horrible behavior and behavior that's been known by the way in our community for a long time yeah and i'm talking about i mean when i say checking behavior i'm talking about across the board

i think it's good to check um powerful people that are abusing their power yeah um and i think obviously the Weinstein one is massive and he's over he's been raping people you're crazy and then you know i i made some jokes initially about the spacey one yeah because uh i i you know not that it's whatever it's not it's not like a a good thing he was doing but i thought he was just kind of being uh you know overly flirtatious on the set like kind of like they say like rubbing guys shoulders that don't

want i was like oh he's just he's he's doing what some guys do to women but to guys on the set of house of cards and then stories came out about him with like 14 year old boys yeah attempting to rape one supposedly raping another and turns out i mean at least how it's being portrayed is that he's a fucking savage you know um and i think those guys will never work again and should never work again and some and i think you know i think Weinstein might go to prison

i hope so there's an active investigation he's a real predator there's open cases on him in la and new york yeah so they're like they're in they're investigating trying to find a way to charge that guy with a real crime yeah but you know what let's i mean he did go to rehab for three whole days so let's not forget him and spacey at the same place do you know that they're in the same rehab facility yeah no good for them yeah i can compare compare notes yeah um but what's that shit shithead that raped a 13 year old and he went to paris

oh roman polanski yeah and has been continued to yeah they celebrated yeah show business loves that guy welcome back like what i i wonder if they're going to further you know like he's been he's been defended by show business people for a long time i know it's one of the more alarming things if you don't know the polanski story you can read it in detail but he was convicted in los angeles county of sex with a 13 year old girl in a hot tub that he gave champagne to i don't know if he gave her a bill

he um you know had an agreement of a certain amount of time to be served the judge either retired or died and so like the replacement judge was like no no you're going to go to prison for a while and his his defense i'm paraphrasing this stuff but like with something about yeah but the last last judge said we had a deal and basically new judge was like i'll give a fuck about your deal and so he got on a plane to paris and that's that he's never come back yeah he's tried to um ask for permission to come back

and los angeles district attorneys for the last whatever 30 years have been like nope you have an open warrant for your arrest if you're ever in yeah you know around um us territories or anyplace anyways all that stuff those guys are it's horrible um with louis you know the thing that uh first of all is just like we've heard the stories for a long time you know uh particularly yeah one it's it's let's put it this way it's it's been in our industry we've all known the comedians have spoken about yeah the last i thought it was one of the things that i'm like

is um hearing some of these comics go like i didn't know about that i'm like well the thing is too you hear stories especially like the his pier like guys are his age right right oh they yeah come on bro you didn't know that really i mean uh the thing is too but but you know again if you're in our shoes and you hear a story like that about somebody you don't you weren't there you don't know all the facts you don't know you don't know what's true what's not what's you know what i mean like stories the telephone game is like okay i don't know i don't you don't know i know everything i don't know i i i here's the thing about my my thought on it is that what he did is not okay to do yeah clearly

it's really not okay to do that to people um especially if like those people are you know like in a position working for something like if they're working under you and like you're the boss basically in the room right um that's the whole thing is that he was in there you know he's in the position of power yeah and taking advantage of his powerful position it's fucked up it is it is fucked up yeah but again like is it is it worth ruining someone's entire life you're like dude i have a lot i know i don't know how this i mean if it comes across really callous but like when that story broke and when the consequences started you know coming to be i felt like a lot of empathy for that guy not because i thought it was okay what he did

but like i just started thinking about somebody with you know he's got two kids like two daughters and like and i know that the answer to that is like well maybe you shouldn't have fucking done that then yeah i get it um and i'm not i'm not defending it or minimizing or diminishing what he did but it is um you know i can't help but like i feel like that is a fucking devastating price to pay you know it is and i think too um right like all crimes there's different levels of crime you have first degree murder second degree murder manslaughter manslaughter assault aggravated yeah and i think right now like to lump him in with a harvey winestein it's not okay to do that either it's not the same crime now is it a crime absolutely is it is it horrible and

traumatic to have to go through something like that with a dude yeah of course and honestly how many look is a woman have i seen dudes doing that in public uh yeah every since i was 12 and awake there's been dudes doing that i've never said this um publicly yeah i have my own experience right with um a person who i worked for very early on in my show business career um or living in los angeles and it was for working for somebody um in a position of power who did something in a very inappropriate and i've told you about i don't want to get in the diesel and i i don't want to out the person either because i don't know what the the end game that i'm looking for right you know it's just like it's kind of one of those things where i just chalked it up to being

like that person's fucked up and they have their own demons and you know i don't know what's going to happen to them but yeah it's been a long time it's been a long time right yeah i just uh i don't know man it's so fucked up i think what really breaks your heart and it breaks our hearts i think you and i pacifically yeah uh is that louis is such a super talent too and you go like retarded man that's the guy we all we all look up to as the gold standard it's one of those things that people always you know bring up up with these super talents that have these flaws or these you know like like your polanski's obviously a great director you're right um you know michael jackson was one obviously like the whole world yes celebrated his talent and then everyone's like

is he fucking kids all the time or something like it's kind of crazy our kelly our kelly's yeah for short um you know he's uh it's real talk man he really it's it's confusing i think it is cosby cosby was the worst because you're at the same as a fan like let's take it back uh as a fan of these people it's it's such a psychological mind fuck you're like wait am i allowed to like this person anymore i think the other part of it that affects people like us with regard to louis is that we're we work in his field and like you know cosby seems so separated from us because he's like 50 years older right and like the way he came up but like we have like a certain bond with louis because louis kind of like the talent wise and like like kind of the cosby of our era

right like yeah he's the guy he's the class ahead of us he's the class ahead of us but we've seen him like we remember him having his first special yeah and seeing the trajectory seeing the build and so in a way he's like he's like the big brother even of comedians who aren't friends with him like you go like wow like look at him doing this and this and this you know so it's like you kind of want to you we've all kind of been like in awe even if he's not your like i know some people are like you know content wise they're not like into him or whatever look man objectively skill wise he's such a skilled comedian yeah it's it's it's wild yeah it's a fucking bummer dude it's just the whole thing i mean it's sad i feel like that it happened like it's sad that he did

that and and sad for the women that experienced it but i'm also sad at the um like someone's you know life being just totally ruined totally devastated right now yeah fuck man and they tried you know then and lumping in the people close to him making it about like his manager yeah i don't know what the fuck that's all about that stuff too your lake well look the manager is only going by what he's been told yeah by the client and it's the manager's job to protect the client so you can't you can't be like hey the manager should have known there's a lot of things they're not omnipotent well yeah like you're gonna mislead the person that you're wanting to help you cover for it so he's not gonna be like he's not gonna tell him everything that i did and here's

what i want to know he's gonna be like i didn't really you know of course he's gonna minimize most likely and if you have a good manager they're gonna fucking try to help you yeah they're gonna help you out of the mud so and he wasn't by the way he wasn't helping a superstar that's right at the time right for people that are like yeah of course you're gonna probably protect this was fucking a long time ago yeah so i mean i'm not like i know people are already gonna jump on us for the way that we're phrasing this i guess but i just feel like part of what's going on right now is there's like a hysteria which again the end result is that it's gonna it's gonna check people in power to really think twice before they pull

their moves and that's a good thing and this is a necessary move in the evolution of equality for women this is a necessary yeah i mean you're a god yeah yeah okay uh but it is a necessary thing to do to start weeding out these jerk-offs that are abusing women abusing and molesting children by the way kory feldman's coming out and naming people and who in the 80s were molesting and he said this is a known thing that there are pet files of a bitch to that came out against spacey he was 14 yeah i mean imagine a 14 year old boy yeah that's fucking unbelievable but it's it is a it is a necessary thing to get things more equal and to clean up the business a little bit you know yeah it's it's terrible the whole thing is devastating it's terrible man um i don't know

oh god it's a lot dick i'll make you slap somebody in the face and that's the truth right yeah all right that's enough show show business you know we usually don't talk current events but you know this is happening in our in our community so yeah um maybe uh i have to i could maybe uh mix it up and or change the speed a little bit by i'm telling you that we finally got some more she's retarded mix from our listeners oh thank thank god i mean she's retarded and machines within have become the two smash hit songs of the fall season it's really really taken over and you know there were some she's retarded that came in last week we played and somewhere okay somewhere better but there's some definitely better ones in this week i'll give

you a couple here he's a the club mix from sully i like it oh i love it you could play that you could play that any club absolutely fantastic um you actually could play that at any club oh you could yeah i would be great if we could have that played at a club and then people halfway through be like wait a minute what are they what are they singing this is a song this is tim from australia ready ready okay here we go she's retarded i'm mentally disabled

it's not acceptable great very good work and then the one that's great that's tim from australia thanks tim thanks tim the one i've been waiting for i told you i met him uh finally a few weeks ago when i was in austin gaping dad wow he's sending some of the great hits of your mom's house music history a celebrity in our on our show oh yeah he's an og and uh he made a she's retarded so you know i feel like some of our uh producers our music producers on this show are have earned it you know he's gaping dad he deserves it i haven't even heard it and i just feel like he deserves it already he always does a good job such quality work always so uh here we go ready

finally the world premiere of she's retarded from gaping dad make make make make make make a branch and get over it yeah yeah i told you she's retarded i mean he made a fire little fucking song yeah i told you jungle started she's retarded shut the fuck up you gotta get off the button button button she's retarded you gotta get off the button it's incredible you gotta get off the button

she's retarded it's it's uh this is an epic masterpiece it really is it incorporates so many of our favorites it really is i'll tell you what i'll do is this song is i just a full length song i will close this episode with that full song make a bridge and get over it go over it so great i like those two i know do you know who scrim is by any chance you always say what when are you gonna lick my scrim no i say scrum no this is a rapper his name is scrim he also goes by suicide christ okay and he's in the suicide boys oh boy that's not a bad name there's the dead boys suicide was not a bad name for a band well i want you to pay attention okay to what scrim is saying here because i feel like

you could learn a thing or two okay yeah the whole thing with licking asshole is this it's like i'm down to do it and i'm gonna fucking think i'm sick or something because of this but it's like i'm down to do it i did it before and it's pretty fucking nice like i enjoy it yeah right okay i like having like like a black bitch with a fat ass spreading cheese like put it on my face you know i'm saying but here's the stipulations if i'm gonna do some shit like that new pink god okay pink guy yeah he's got he's got some stipulations that stipulations i got some stipulations man you know sure some shit like that new pink god new pink god what are the stipulations when man first off no fuck no farting ain't even i've just been not even farting in front of me ever

wow sit down we're off because if she farts in front of me yeah party's over like i'm breaking up that you're right in there wow now i could not have a relationship with scrim you couldn't yell you're also not black he said like a bitch with a black bitch sorry right i meant i did hear that i'm sorry i didn't yeah i was hoping he'd be an equal opportunity but liquor but he likes white bitches you better never fart so yeah you're out of the i'm already out of the running for scrim now for the stipulations of ass eating yeah one of two things have to happen all of both things happen and it just makes it better for me what's that gotta bleach the anus gotta bleach the anus gotta be fresh gotta be clean okay and i don't know what else can get

it more cleaner than bleaching that motherfucking i mean correct me if i'm wrong mad decide what the fuck is that it's a carcinogen cleaner dude i don't want her to rot her fucking ass off ass and and shit like y'all talking about is wrong to bleach the motherfucking okay but why but wait a minute now he he likes uh black women but he's asking them to bleach their anuses which is actually skin bleaching right you bleach your skin around your anus which is i imagine very painful i'm sure and if he likes the the darker ladies why are you asking him to bleach it lighter it seems counterintuitive why don't you ask for a darker right why don't you paint your asshole black right you know that's what i would say can you paint your asshole black

he does have those knuckle tattoos that i like so i got a lot of tattoos i do like those he talks the way you know or secondly if she gets like fresh like straight out the shower well that's like much easier time to dry on like you know i'm saying like so it's still sitting the asshole from so like that oh yeah and then i'm throwing her down and we're getting it in yeah so he requires ass bleaching or suds in the hole i think that's much easier to wash your asshole than to get it bleached but he's saying suds still in there like soap is he's just saying like you're extra clean you know well yeah then he doesn't really like eating ass i feel like he likes then when you're saying that he should have like a little dirty a little tank wow well if you're into eating buttholes

don't you want it to be kind of in a state of a butthole he's then he's when he may as well lick a forearm or a forehead you know what i'm saying what you're saying like then the taboo is gone if there's no tang on it yeah a little stink a little bit right but not a lot right a lot it's too tangy like a whole day of me oh god running around would you like my butthole after pilates no no no so it's not stipulated that she has to have the clean shave and ass absolutely hold up that's like automatic well to me i thought that was just natural that's like automatic it's like bitch if you bend over and i see one little fucking hair you know what i'm saying it's like see he doesn't really like licking ass is what i'm trying to say he's got all these rules and

stipulations he's got high standards this guy scrim yeah i don't think he really likes it i don't know if he doesn't really like it but he's got some you know he's like you better never fart in front of me better never see a fucking hair i can't deal with it better be bleached there would be soap yeah he just got he's got very very clear preferences his standards are just too high for too much i i mean i can't get my b-hole hairless i don't wax wait why can't you get it hairless i don't wax down there i don't believe in pouring hot wax on my most sensitive parts of my body and then you can get it i won't i refuse i think it's cruel and unusual punishment i think it's it's i just won't do it why for for what when i can use a razor well so but you still use a razor

yeah on the undercarriage and i can get my b-hole i can kind of graze my asshole to get i'm not very i mean you know me i'm not you don't have a lot here i'm not very hairy no i don't think compared to you're not yeah so it's not a big issue for me i've been with bitches that got hair coming out everywhere i got i was with a girl once i thought she had a pair of balls in her pants like i was like what is in there what are you talking about she is so hairy oh harry that the underwear had like a uh a bulge and i was like oh stop i swear to you she was so hairy that she had a bulge and i was like nah and then when the when the panties dropped it was just like i mean it was like what year was this 74 jesus christ and now it felt like it was i mean it was

but she was just super harry you know now but that what i'm serious what year is this what year is it 90 something yeah yeah like oh yeah maybe 2000 yeah yeah so you think like you've gotten the memo that general societal consensus is shave or what you know trim it down i mean she was i mean she was shaved where she needed to be shaved but oh you're saying like so strong right there's so much bulk right and i mean she was a harry harry brought i guess now you do the courtesy of uh trimming up down there for i try to yeah i try to trim it pretty i mean sometimes i'll forget and i'll look i'll be like poof now god i don't even see where my dog is at so much it doesn't bother me per i don't care but do you know that the trend now for girls is

totally bald wait that's been for years i feel i just heard about it on the internet no i swear to god i i was reading something and apparently bald is where the party's at and wait hasn't bald been the thing the last 15 years yeah but when i was a single girl when you and i started dating the landing strip was the trend the norm so now i'm saying that the the hitler is is gone now it's just totally baby i feel like baby beaver's been around for a while and i i i tell you i had a few baby beaves i i'm not that like it doesn't it being hairless doesn't really do anything for me i i prefer the landing strip i feel as an adult as a mature woman maybe that's what it is like i i have pubic hair so i'm a grown man yeah i i had puberty it's weird it is kind of weird

it's childish you shaved it like a little kid yeah it's nice yeah it's weird yeah i i mean look i'm not one of these people that grows out my armpit hair i i do let the leg hair go because it's blonde i think hairless cocks are weird you know oh that's so weird or when a dude shave like shaves a perfect patch over it like when it's when it's really well you see that in porn yeah it's like he shaves like how i would shave a like a beard line like right over like the Puerto Rican and she's like a Puerto Rican beard yeah isn't that weird over a dong like it feels like it should be like you can trim it down but i think that's for pornos like the shaping so they look bigger on camera isn't no but yeah but i'm saying like some of them are so meticulously shaven i'm like

it's gay it's a little homosexual yeah it's a little much yeah it's feminine yeah maybe that's what it is it just feels feminine to be like i put the line here and then i used a ruler and then i made sure it was the same here it's like yeah why don't you trim that down make it look like hey come on sweetheart why don't you put a bow on it you know what i don't like is uh personally like buff guys yeah that shave their chest and then you see the growth come in a little personally i just i'm like just have hair just have hair i don't know it doesn't bother me some people are real anti-hair look i'm look at my head you are i know i'm like a fucking space monkey you get ready to shot on the space yeah it's like a fight crop i have to fart when are we gonna get these

fart mics yeah it's been a while that was not um i did i went for it you know what it is i've been getting my haircut by the same guy you've been getting your haircut by i love that guy everybody in our family goes to now that was great and um we've done different things but then over the years this front area has thinned out and so i believe in like when you're thinning in an area you keep it short yeah so i've been keeping it short but then the more that it thins out it's like i get a haircut and then a week later i'm like oh now it's just like glaringly thin oh that's why you're doing it because you feel like the grow out is making it show more it it does i don't feel like it does it does so it's like uh to me it's like just throw in the towel and go

oh i'll just go shorter so that the haircut lasts longer oh i see i i didn't know your reasoning i didn't know i didn't understand this logic i really didn't know i i didn't know what you think was happening i thought you were you just wanted to be like uh you know cool guy i don't know like an older dad and just go ahead and get your dad your dad cut you know i just feel like i'm getting haircuts that last 10 days oh yeah i did not know this i think it looks great i think you're very handsome you were very like what's going on nice i don't i don't like change you're like um i walked in i was like what do you think you're like it's different i was like oh shit i don't like change i've been with the same hairdresser since i was 20 years old that's 21 years i've been going to

allen no one else has colored my hair yeah since that's only allen uh i don't like change and i like you to look the way i'm i'm used to you looking you know it doesn't look that different it took me a while to get used to it at first i was shocked because i'm like yeah i was like it's a real dad you're like jesus jason statham my new husband but now i like it because i feel like it's more rugged i feel like you're like oh you know you need to go hunt you know who else has the same haircut as me fire saw now far and even that's right i knew i liked him for some reason yeah same haircut so i want to bring up um something we didn't talk about when we were on vacation with your family in august okay it was your father's 70th birthday oh my god yeah and

how did we not did we didn't report this i don't think we reported this i feel like we did we must have mentioned this well we're gonna do it again yeah sure i think it's hilarious i think it's a good idea and it was the 70th birthday and both your sisters and their spouses and your mother all of us were there and well why don't you tell the story because this is your brilliant idea well was i did i first mentioned it or i first write it down for for like a card i forget so i think i mentioned it i think we were at i think because we had dinners the night before and the night of right of the of his birthday and so it's all of us together and i said oh like mom dad turns 70 tomorrow are you gonna give him uh are you gonna 69 i'm tonight and she goes a lot

when i 69 for 70 and i go no are you gonna are you gonna you guys gonna 69 tonight because this is last night being 69 and of course there's like giggling at the table and my dad's like tommy shaking his head and then everyone starts laughing and she's like what what and she's like i said what an innocent my mother is she really doesn't know she's no idea what 69 is and so like then maria's like uh it's something and my mom's like sexual and she's like yeah and she's like what and and they're like they're trying to be you know polite about it it's just and she's like please tell me and she's like okay you know like a guy puts his mouth down on you and then you go down on him she's like what so they're like trying to like paint the picture

yeah your mom's head is exploding like wait yeah she she can't put it together can't even fathom what's happening and then i uh you know once she finally figured it out she was like oh and just you know roll her eyes was like that just sounds horrific yeah to her it's like you might as well be like can can dad shit in your mouth tonight so right but then later on i go hey you know what you should do um when we get together tomorrow you should be like i'm gonna go 69 your your dad and she was she was down with it we had we had dinner and she was like i'm going to give 69 so fun but i think by the way what would be really fun for our listeners if any of you this is how i propose you do it get a camera going or at least an audio recording but camera would be better

and ask your mom regardless of her age let's say your mom is 47 be like hey when dad when dad's about to turn 70 do you think you guys will 69 no the night before his 70th birthday on the last night of him being 69 will you give him 69 yeah will you guys 69 will you guys 69 and just see if if they laugh or they get upset and like if they're over 70 you just go like hey when dad turned 70 did you 69 them like as a as a birthday present return to have a birthday for being 69 for the last night yeah do you or if your dad's dead be like if dad was still here do you think you 69 them on his 69th birthday so stupid it's so stupid well because we were talking about it like remember when you were like you first heard about what 69 was yeah and you were like 12 or

13 or whatever and you were like whoa we're gonna do that all the time i'm married i'm at 69 i just thought that would be the mountaintop like oh man one day 69 and it'll be the best fucking thing ever and i remember doing it and being like this is just it's not as good well because you're doing the work and trying to receive the pleasure yeah it doesn't it's not as good it's counterproductive and i because you want to be like okay it's like eating and shitting at the same time like you got to do one or the other you can't do both no i agree i mean you can you can't but you're not gonna enjoy i'm known for it but you you know yeah but you're not gonna enjoy either one fully true because you're you're working you're doing work so much effort there's a jewish prayer for shitting

no um from blueban i thought this was but bullshit because i've never heard of it and i grew up super jewish but it's totally legit hey shittlers was glass and less episode you came across your discussion of the sacred release and yeah that was that guy that was talking about really being present for your shitting and the need for prayer while squeezing out your chocolate dough let me save you the work us jews beat you to it here's the english translation of the prayer usually referred to as the bathroom blessing oh blessed are you lord our god king of the universe who fashioned man with wisdom and created within him many openings and many cavities it is obvious and known before your throne of glory that if even one of the cavities is ruptured or blocked it would be

impossible to survive and to stand before you even for a short period of time blessed are you god who heals all flesh and acts wondrously the prayer is said while washing your hands post brown or yellow rather than during the act of elimination as bun suggested tina let me preemptively satiate your curiosity if you have diarrhea the blessing is recited after each instance of said diarrhea f all the haters jeans within jillian aka hungry tits oh wow jillian that's i like jeans within amazing that is interesting well hey this might be a good time to bring up my appearance on the adam corolla oh my god this is a real shit-centric episode today sure is it's what we do best yeah uh so i did corolla show you're uh promoting mother inferior with yes which uh if you have

not yet seen uh christina's netflix special mother inferior is uh where is it mother inferior where can it be seen on netflix netflix freaks you can see it um all over any of the many hundred thousand countries that now have netflix and uh it's streaming and it's it's really great and it's really well received i love you so you've been promoting it everywhere um and it was nice to meet adam corolla because i've been listening to him since forever i grew up here in l.a and whack when he was on k rock doing love line and he's also you know one of these podcast giants man i mean it's crazy yeah he's amazing very very gracious very kind uh very fun so it just spontaneously happened we were doing some topics and i happened to get into this with adam and i thought you guys

might enjoy it adam do you have a bidet situation or are you just mashing that poo into your fur just rubbing it my my thing is is i will i will time the i'll time the toilet with the shower so you know you go shit the shower shit the shower yeah i've done that too right now but you do a white before you go shower right you don't i surprise myself you know i like to keep it fresh it depends on certain factors uh first of all i mean i cannot believe you're having a brother out there who's as disgusting as you are you have so much in common corolla's grandfather was hungarian as well he loves chicken paprika and uh he shits to shower now a lot of us are shamed ashamed about it but ari shaffer adam corolla ari and i we're all shit to shower people and i

thought it'd be nice for all the other ones out there we can we can all feel safe knowing that famous people go shit to shower too play it as well i'd like to yeah if i am staring at if i'm literally just gonna step off the commode and into the shower i'll save the paper wow that is bold you don't shower with soap yeah no shower oh no i'll get back to the pool i'll go dunk myself in the pool there's jets in there i'll give i'll give a hot water good good hot water rinse down there yeah good hot water rinse not even an exploratory wipe see what see what happens i get it i get it you know what i mean like i've been there and done that you know it's not my first ass rodeo it reminds me of wipegate remember um wipegate okay between skippy peanut butter and

jiff peanut butter which do you like skippy skippy and jiff with charo and i called her jiff jiff yeah okay and then between the shaky parmesan cheese the craft one or the fresh shaped parmesan which do you like shake off finish okay and then what tell me what you think of this because i've had this conversation with kristina so when christina goes to the bathroom like goes kaka okay not getting accepted no no no i need i need your i need you to weigh in on this so she goes she goes kaka and then she goes she gets up from the toilet and she takes a shower immediately without wiping even once i swear to god i swear to god can you please tell me why why you think so

well she says okay she says wait wait wait she says that the shower the shower pressure cleans it for her but you think you think it's disgusting i think it's disgusting i don't see the difference between doing what she does and just going kaka in the shower i'm not saying to do that i'm saying i barely see the difference because it's true it there isn't but there is a difference i i do the brown in the toilet and like adam said and he bring he brought up a really good point is that you know what you're working with yeah he knows he's i'm 41 years old i've been dumping my whole life i know what's going on back there i know i know what's happening it's it's fine it's fine i did it today i did a shit to shower today i try to do it every morning okay what's wrong

i'm trying to set the uh never mind trying to do that there again problems you know yeah problems make my dick soft okay uh another interesting thing adam said is that he does not taking he doesn't like taking long dumps does he say this here that's in the full clip but not how i just fall off the turnip truck or whatever else you see ass in front of you know what you're working yeah i know what i'm working with and i have so i'm so he likes to get it out of the ways what you're saying right yeah he's expeditious he he doesn't enjoy the moment he doesn't shop online like i do like i do our grocery shopping yeah i like to pop a few blood vessels when i'm sitting down you know i don't i don't want it to go that quickly yeah i don't i like it's like the me time

like we have a toddler we have two dogs like it's the one moment i have to enjoy my life really um how about this uh machines within question oh my god i love it hi mommy's i've been practicing on what is this cutler the killer clowns flow am i reading this wrong maybe i need to open it up no cut cutter and i've come to a mental block oh that's the guy right he properly expresses his disgust for haters with the lines f the haters f all the haters then follows it up with the line much love no hey well which is it what's real what's fake well maybe he's denouncing haters while rising above it himself could cutter be jesus or is he just a terminator's matrix happy halloween mommy's brian g jesus wow well

what a great question i mean he's right it's paradoxical on the one hand f all the haters and then he's like i'll love no hate if you're wondering by the way why this computer is here it's smaller it doesn't have all the stuff that i normally do i had a computer problem today i had to swap it out last second yeah just to do this episode otherwise i'd be playing you some machines within yeah but yeah but that is a great question ha you know i i think it comes down to him just not being very conscious of what he's saying you don't think he's on top of what he's saying he's a stream of consciousness oh right right it just comes to him yeah you know my song yeah my flows yeah yeah he's just he's kind of in the moment singing my song walking down

the street yeah right it is right and yeah he's the haters all love no he's just saying he's reporting the news from his his mind yeah that's what geniuses do guys they can't be wow not everything is a compliment well he is a machine so then became a smash hit single and it's because of him in part that's true that's really true his brainchild if you will well we'll try to get more obviously if he keeps creating content we'll keep playing it here so maybe maybe we'll we'll see if he does something in the same vein later you know it's hard to do two hits in a row you know he reminds me of a little bit tupac yes i see it i see a lot at tupac yeah yeah one arm question my boyfriend and i are hardcore black guys who love to

fuck and love your podcast we were thinking to you to to y'all talk talk about how to arm those people wipe and we got to talking and thinking about those with arms we had the question if a woman has one arm and gets a manicure does she pay full price what a great question looking forward to your infinite genes wisdom machines within f all the haters much love rub rub rub rub from holly and barren texas that is a fantastic question jesus that is great what do you think of it well we once had a nanny offer us half price rakey on our eight week old baby because our son was yes only eight weeks old so normally a hundred dollars you could get it to us for fifty i'm thinking the same logic would apply with half a manicure that makes

sense half price what do you think i think it makes sense but there's really like i don't know there's only one way to really find out i think we should call a salon yeah tell him my wife only has one arm and how much would you charge her yeah that's what i'm gonna do okay because that makes it's a it's a actually a really excellent question sure and it's one we can find the answer to yeah it's um machines with it machines with it all the haters got a terminated gun terminator gun he says gun t 16 16 yeah terminator got a gun and got a terminator gun let's see here go to one of it this one's called with it this one's called nailed it nailed it i know are the i passed by it's so dumb okay machines with it that's right away here i've got one here hold on

there's another one here i get again again get a terminator gun if all the haters if the haters here we go i mean these people want my business or what no hi how are you good how are you good um what do you charge for a manicure 15 my wife i'm trying to surprise her she wants a manicure but she has one arm does she have to pay full price we can discount so ten dollars okay for her one arm okay and she has one foot so can she pay half of the pedicure price too i i uh you know what we can get 19 to 15 dollars i have no idea i had never seen before like that

you know okay ten and ten for 25 okay is that that's less than normal though right no that's what i'm saying that's the discounted rate yeah because she's got you know she's got one foot and she's got one arm okay that sounds like a great deal i'm gonna send her there thank you all right oh fair enough it's very fair yeah a very reasonable establishment yeah so glad we got you said i've never had that before that's kind of surprising to me yeah you'd think that there would be more people with appendages missing that i'm sure that they still want to get their nails done yeah i don't see why they wouldn't i saw a woman with severe arthritis um getting her nails done like their fingers were all yeah it was it was really hard but you still want to have nice

right she still wanted and she had like nice rings and stuff so you still want to jazz yourself up of course he's the way but that was a really good question yeah another good question that came about dick tattoos you know thought provoker oh interesting on episode 421 you talked about weird places for tattoos and mentioned the poison penis tattoo amily thought about how that tattoo session went i imagine the penis would be have to be hard but wouldn't the pain of the needle hurt so bad you'd lose your boner if you did lose your boner you think the artist made the client go to the bathroom to rub rub rub or did he close his eyes while the client rubbed it to get hard again how many times well you know i wonder if anybody this is a good she

says you guys are doing good kelly from missouri it's a great question kelly and if there's any tattoo artists that have ever done a penis tattoo that could enlighten us on how that goes and whether or not you have to be erect and if you lose your erection because i imagine that's that does apply there you know that's for sure i would imagine flaccid and then they would stretch the skin and do it flaccid because how could you maintain an erection that's but i don't know anything about yeah i know a lot about dicks i don't know anything about tattooing i'd imagine they like stretch the skin of the penis and then really get in there get in i like the way you're drawing stretch those nooks and crannies yeah get the ink in yeah that's a good point right i i

don't think it should be i but i'm not a tattoo artist did you know by the way did you know that when i played this in the earlier in the show i'll make you snap somebody in the fade yeah did you know that that's one of the first drops we played and then this is actually the same lady no you just come look close because i don't want the me i don't know women he is so i'm sure but if the the gay men are saying that i'm sure the women probably are noticing this too they're just saying telling y'all damn man this boy told me to tell y'all y'all need to wash under y'all damn nuts and all around y'all damn nuts yeah right you know important but this boy's saying to tell y'all if even if you do not get penetrated and have anal sex yeah then you still have an obligation to

lift your nut sack up and go all underneath to crack around the back of y'all and all around and then they said all around your dick too they said it dick be stankin yeah but isn't that isn't that like intuitive for everyone i mean obviously not because she's having to do a psa about it i mean she's saying like even if you don't engage in anal sex to wash your nuts and dick yeah i'm not sure what that has to do with anal but i don't know i think she's this is she's misinformed yeah yeah so they said especially if you got that foreskin around y'all dick they say y'all don't be pulling that dick back to get all what they the old people call all that crust and that but i'm around underneath your dick skin that that boy said this shit got to stop yeah you

said y'all need to wash okay wash your nuts yep pull your skin back around your dick get all that hard caked up crust wow and then he said when y'all shit and wipe y'all ass with that toiletish he said be pieces of spot particles of shit and pieces of tissue should be kicked around y'all asshole so maybe y'all need to shave and cut that hair around y'all ass and don't just depend on that taller tissue to do the trick wow there's just a lot of information there it's very very important i feel like everything that she's saying is quite quite obvious right yeah it's true it's like ladies and gentlemen wear deodorant change your underwear every day come on we we know brush your teeth twice a day flop like dude we get it who's not doing the basics yeah maybe she's

just pushing back maybe this is pushback against all the fucking people that have for years now say oh pussy stink wash your pussy pussy right she's heard that her whole life she's like fuck you wash your dick and which i get i understand that yeah because there's two there's a there is this thing about women's vagina is just being smelly 24 seven it's like it's really it shouldn't be unless something is going on infections or such yeah but yeah i'm fucking sick of hearing how stinky vaginas are they're not that stinky i mean there are stinky boxes out there i'm sure but but what do you expect i mean come on it's a portal of life you guys yeah can't be perfect come on please and here we go that's what i said y'all ass thing and y'all need to get this again

for y'all bring y'all dick and nuts to go over there and go up in his butt and go to his house we'll be back with more escalations well i didn't know it was like this nigga ass stinking off the damn chain and y'all talk about women's stank pussy stank there you go but it's what it said y'all ass is motherfucking fuming do you hear me there you go so you're right that you're right tom well you called that one i tell you i know dicks i know balls i know things that smell i know it it's my it's really my wheelhouse man yeah it's really really do we have a dental update you've been saying and actually you know what this first came up with you know obviously my friend fat uh burt yeah who um can you imagine you've seen his mouth right oh it's all these different

colors it's a garbage dump yeah it's just it's horrific and he he breathed you know his teeth look like um Thanksgiving corn yeah the decoration that you put oh there's like a white one a yellow one a brown one a gold one yeah all these different colors yeah it's pretty bad and he um he breathes really loud yeah we were talking about like hey do you think you probably like i know he snores we should call his wife and be like what's that snoring like sure he doesn't wear a mouth guard at all wow and uh i've been wearing one for years which has helped tremendously you noticed you noted that lately my snoring has gotten louder but i think it's because i haven't switched my bands out in a while so i can switch them out tonight well i think you should because

the last two nights i've had to poke you and then you flip over now and i also think it might be time for a new mouth guard babe because you've been using the same one every night for how many years it's a few years now yeah yeah it's time it's time go go to the doctor the dentist and go get a fresh one okay or get get backups too maybe two it's a good idea i'm surprised you haven't i don't want to jinx it but you haven't lost this one i've been i've had panic attacks about losing it so i probably should get a backup yeah or make this the backup get a fresh one get a freshy you deserve it thanks i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i really love it and actually there are times now to say i get into a hotel and i'm like oh i'm so tired i gotta take a nap yeah i just won't even open my

bag i don't sleep as well like i i mentally yeah it's not as comfortable now because you're used to that i'm used to it being there it's like we're in your retainer or your headgearing and then this isn't a plug for you know i'm i'm not saying i'm not telling you about one i'm just saying that like if you do snore and uh you want to have a more comfortable fuller night of sleep this is what has helped me and it helps the person that sleeps next to me but it's a professionally yeah yeah you have to go to the dentist you get a mold done yeah it's a whole thing i know it's a whole thing they're very upset all right we'll take them in a moment we'll take them in a moment we're almost done oh okay we are so yeah go ahead here are um yeah anyways i'm gonna get it done

yeah it's time you deserve a fresh one i'm brushing a lot i floss i've been i've been slacking on the flossing i will say that your teeth and your special look much wider and i think people are really going to be dazzled by how thin you look and how white your teeth look well i definitely looked at if you look side by side the last one yeah it's definitely different it's really it's i think people are going to be really dazzled by how great you look in this new special especially well i think if they did if they've never seen me before they'll be like who's that fat guy but if you know me from before you'll be like oh he looks better he looks way better yeah yeah um here's another email we got we get dental updates all the time as a reminder to

anybody who listens to the show if you ever want to send in the song if you ever want to send in a link if you ever want us to watch a video if you're going to give us an adult dental update the email is always don't do facebook don't direct message don't do it always hit us up at the gmail address that's the official email address we have thousands of emails and they've all come in through there that's where we check them it's your mom's podcast at gmail.com we do there's no house in the address your mom's podcast at gmail.com here's the email hey mommies my name is Brandon and i have a dental update for you i've been listening to the show for a few years now and i used to fast forward past the dental updates because i was so ashamed of my teeth oh 27 years

old and my teeth were starting to look like i've been eating rocks all my life i didn't have dental insurance so i didn't go to the dentist for over 10 years the early onset dad mouth was real and my genes were pretty low and loose it got so bad that i wouldn't smile with my teeth and it was affecting my self-esteem and happiness after i got a new job with good insurance my triple d slut wife who has a great set of chompers on her convinced me to go to the dentist to see what we could do to get the ball rolling on fixing my teeth that along with years of dental shaming from the main mommies good good finally made my appointment with we started with a cleaning and i looked like a bloody mess after a clean that lasted about an hour the dentist then did an evaluation

i had 16 fucking cavities the good news is over the course of two months i got all 16 fillings i am now finally cavity free no longer ashamed to smile i didn't know how good the white fillings would look i just wanted to thank you tom and christina for shaming me for years and being a contributing factor to force me to go to the dentist and making my smile something not to be ashamed of you've had a positive influence on my life and i'm glad my wife and i found your show on top of the teeth you help me and my wife be our grossest selves ever making farts acceptable around each other which has undoubtedly gotten us closer as a couple anyway sorry for the long email but i just wanted to say sincerely thanks genes brandon from north carolina how about that

that is so true you know when i got my veneers done the gentleman who did them said that people have to relearn how to smile when they get their teeth fixed yeah because the the muscles the actually go wonky because you're covering your teeth when you smile or you don't smile at all i have a cousin like that yeah i don't want to out them but i have a cousin like that but it's definitely could you imagine you're not smiling yeah i mean we don't smile that often but it's not good i'm saying to restrict yourself from smiling that's not right i could you imagine psychologically it's very devastating it's got to be devastating um this is a i'm always a fan of a coach that goes over the top this is a youth cop youth hockey coach um little tin hockey association

removed uh it's this this coach from the team this is youth a youth coach um has come to our attention of all video involving one of our coaches um and one of their assistants has been circulating through social media this says that they basically found this to be completely unacceptable i find it to be completely hilarious and this is the coach in the locker room giving the pregame speech to the kids this is me i'm this kid right here yeah your ear to ear smile like this is the best like loving my coach talking like this i don't see what's wrong with it honestly he's fired up am i am i wrong i know i'm wrong he also knows that the kids aren't threatened because they're like they're smiling and they're laughing yeah it's funny it's funny god damn it i have no

idea where i'm at with this but i want to see you feed up green nun fuck green nun fuck their coaches fuck their wives fuck their friends i can hear it that's the best you said fuck the other team fuck their coaches fuck their wives yeah all these kids go they can hear us that's the best yeah they can hear it that's so uh that's great yeah i think that's fine you know that that coach said something there he goes they're gonna we're gonna beat them so bad they're gonna wish something the best version of that i ever heard was a football player one time said in an interview he said i want to hit people so hard that they don't want to play football anymore that's a really good idea i was like holy shit like that's the most intense summer i like that but can i tell you

something in order to win in life and in order to succeed you do kind of have to have that killer mental oh this guy played in the nfl yeah but i mean think think about that i like that people say things like i want to hit guys so hard yeah they shit their pants i want to hit them so hard i knocked their helmet off this guy said i want to hit people so hard they don't want to play football anymore right like they want to quit the game i like that that's inspirational i don't it motivates me yeah i feel inspired don't you his name is ernie sims that's who said that yeah yeah my dad used to say um uh fuck i'll go down before i'll put i'll go down before the cops would lay she could fight i'm gonna hit your head so hard it's gonna fall off oh wow yeah similar i'm gonna hit you so

hard your head's gonna fall off a little different uh path that i was going down yeah let's talk more of sports oh right but i mean i just it rung a bell in me yeah inspirational that is inspiring yeah and did that ever happen no no well then that's yeah but they threaten you with it tongue your influence threats go a long way though yeah threats are good yeah yeah um all right well i think that's it for today jean it was definitely a fun by the way i forgot about skippy skippy all day fuckers don't you show me that jiff crap skippy all mother fucking day and shaky cheese all day there's a there's a bunch of songs but i have to close on the gaping dad song of course i mean it's like a medley of all great things yeah it's so great um thank you all oh don't forget this by the

way in our store the christmas sweater yeah is 100 profit to charity we're doing the children's hospital of los angeles so there's multiple christmas products and there's all obviously other you know we have shirts i have signed vinyl i have a mostly story signed completely normal signed the vinyl there's albums there's shirts then we have um some uh holiday stuff like santa claus is black santa claus is asian santa claus is latino and we have a santa claus wears jeans uh hat like a winter hat you know yeah it's great i mean the quality on it it's like a sewn the pattern sewn in it's not a bullshit thing but if you see the christmas sweater that says santa claus wears jeans yeah that's all going to charity that's awesome so um and we'll you know

we'll we'll document it we'll show you like however we get the toys or just give them the the money it'll be like we'll video it and put it up so you can see it we'll start your holiday shopping now you guys these are gonna go fast yeah the uh the the jeans one will sell out really soon yeah for sure all right that's it thank you guys again for listening and we'll see you next week bye jean bye mommy make make make make make a branch and get over it oh yeah you

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