Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 474-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 14, 2018

Fire! It's everywhere out here. This week is not your usual recording. We are alone, without guests and honestly more than a little freaked out by these outrageous firestorms.  We wanted to try and get a quick episode in before we evacuate. We were able to have some laughs and just be super silly which was probably more for us than ever before.  These fires are freaky and deadly and we're just happy we had a moment to get our family together before taking off.  Thanks for all you thoughts, Jean. 

All right, here we are. It's time for your mom's house podcast. You get it? Tom and Christina does the worst Here we go Jean. Oh My gosh, listen, this is a very unusual podcast we are doing today. I am on the verge of tears I'm getting emotional, but Our neighborhood is burning down around us and we're kind of doing this before we have to go I just want to apologize to everybody in West Siloam Springs, Oklahoma at the Cherokee Casino. I was supposed to fly there tonight and I could not get on a plane and leave my

babies and my home Right now because we're gonna be leaving pretty soon to evacuate. So yeah, sorry guys, but Hopefully this will be over quickly and we can resume our normal lives. So November 14th Pasadena. I'm doing the ice house in the small room November 18th Flappers same thing small room November 24th, San Diego, California house of blues late show tickets available December 1st again back at Flappers in the Yuhu December 7th filler up Delphia late show There's still some tickets available and then December 8th Grammarcy theater like literally just a very few tickets the Rider-Dite tour

Continues through January January 10th Hollywood at the comedy store, and then I go to Denver comedy works Madison, Wisconsin comedy club on state Mini-Apple tits at Acme and Tempe improv and then the DC improv in June So tickets at Christina Pete online again. I'm sorry guys. You know, so don't I'm so sad. I'm so sad You know, you don't have to be sorry. Well, I you know, I've never canceled a show in 15 years I know you said on the plane. I booked a yacht and I went on a vacation Oh, there's a natural disaster. I know, but I you know, I get on those planes no matter what I've had a fever I've had on cancel. I never never never and I just hate it. I hate what's happening. This is kind of different

Yeah, it's like the worst fire we've ever had here Yeah, it's where I you know But anyways, don't don't be sad Jean. I can't help it. It's feelings Tom. I don't have emotions. Anyways Let's see it's an exciting week for me natural disasters aside because I'm going This week to Montclair, New Jersey the Wellmont both shows are sold out I'm doing four shows at the Miriam in Philadelphia

The only show with tickets left and now it's even more limited is the late show Friday, November 16th That's exciting. But also November 16th Instant family the movie that I shot earlier this year. I was gone for a while It's really a great movie. It's a family movie. It's not in the theme of your mom's house It's not an R-rated comedy, but it is a great film Sean Andrews directed it stars Mark Wahlberg and Rose Byrne and yours truly has a fun Part in it. I've seen it. I'm gonna go see it again Even pay attention by the way to my Instagram. I might even do a screening at a theater

sometime in the next few weeks and I'll invite people so Pay attention to that. That's cool. That'll be here in the Los Angeles area Maybe out in the Valle But anyways, I appreciate all your support anybody that goes and sees instant family It it's it's very beneficial to me and to the people who made this great movie The tour stuff tomscura.com slash tour you guys know that that tour has been growing and growing And we just added a second show in Cincinnati hometown coming through for me We added a second second show at the Aronoff. I think it's Center for the Arts

That's February 15th That week. I'm also doing two in Pittsburgh two in Cleveland and two in DC You know where to go for those tickets tomscura.com slash tour It's very exciting stuff So the trans canada highway. No, that's uh, that's the just glassing guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I could have moose could have moose Jean, what do you got

I'm feeling free or them feeling existential today. Okay, who knows what's gonna happen our lives are not in our control It's been a wild ride. We'll talk. Let's talk about it. Let's open the show properly. Yeah, real proper like Think they greasy, but they know That's how he says. Yeah, that's kind of how they greasy, but they know some things they I don't say that's not my Thing to say that one. Okay. All right. Let's do it Let's do it Let's do it Oh, shit. Oh boy. Here we go. Here we go crazy trains

I'm glad you all know I'm selling weed on the fucking train For sour diesel and it's gonna be loud Not loud loud This is big time Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this

Don't burn me in the fucking stand Well, welcome Welcome to your mom's house With Tom Segura Christina Pajitsin Welcome to your mom's house This is good. Oh my Do you want to tell the audience that we had sex the other day? Did we?

Oh Is that audio from our anus abyss? It is All this chaos by the way started on our anniversary And can I tell you we've had the worst anniversary luck. So two anniversaries ago We woke up to find that donald trump was our leader That was two two anniversaries ago. Yeah now this one we wake up to the world is on fire It was fucked up. We had a very special. Okay, so I planned this

I was like we're gonna do some real start 10 year anniversary Do something really special. So I plan just one night Because we have babies, you know, we have young young kid. You can't be away for long. No, I plan one night Very special place. I'm like, it's gonna be great evenings. Just you and I And we went up to nappa to Wine country to nappy headed Uh wine country

And while we're up there, it's like we check in. I'm like, what is that? And they're like, that's ash. I'm like, ash You're like, yeah, there's a big fire up in a butte county California, okay, butte county, california so We had uh Okay, we're like, is that a threat here? Like not really It's 200 miles from here. They tell us 200 miles and then all of a sudden later They're like hey that fire is spreading a 800 800 yards a minute. It's uh, it's growing. I was like, that's pretty fast

800 yards a minute So anyway as that's happening We're up there. We're still enjoying ourselves, but they're you know, but you can't really sit outside There's ash raining down and it was thread. I mean like it smelled you could see that What would be a clear view is actually like there's remember we were like, why is it hazy like oh, that's smoke from the fire so That shit's happening and then we go We're hanging out and then we get word that oh, there's a fire in southern california

Oh cool. What's that? A year ago There was the big the thomas fire a couple of those in the la area. Remember when like the near the getty was on fire Yeah, belair was on fire. Yeah, so now semi valley was on fire last year. That's right. Those were big fires Now this one is like Unprecedented the way that it's spread and the perfect conditions for fire, you know, because you have like What is it zero? Yeah zero humidity. So super dry

Yeah, big santa anna winds. Yeah gusts of up to 65 miles an hour sometimes Yeah, and yeah, just very dry conditions and a lot of brush. We also have a drought for a million years Yeah, just fire everywhere man and Usually, I mean those poor people that are in that in the malibu area They always get it and they got it again, but this time it started to spread further south and east

Which threatens where we live as well So i'm sure if you follow social media you saw rogan got evacuated He lives west of us, but um, yeah, so we we had to You know, they're telling us we don't have like it. We're not at the mandatory yet But we also, you know, we have kids we have we have dogs and You can see like the smoke has grown. You smell it outside now. It's it's Okay, the town right ahead of ours is being evacuated. It has been since last night. So we're next on the call sheet Yeah, so it just makes sense. Yeah, I think it's

It's so smoky and I don't I just don't want to get that panic Like where they're like go go go go go. Yeah, because that's that's apparently what's happening is by the time they're telling you to leave It's like, yeah, you you don't have the time to collect your druthers and I don't know it's I'd tell you it's uh It's really I'm gonna fucking cry again It's very emotional for me to see these fires because I grew up here and I've seen malibu burned down like how many times I know it's it's unbelievable and always burned down But to see the valley kind of get it where I just I can't it's so hard for me to even see it

Yeah, I hate it. It's terrible. Yeah, it's scary too because you know Whatever it's scary. It's just very scary. I know you start seeing I mean fire is always scary And you see these big fires and they're showing last night We're just seeing like all these homes just completely Collapsed and cars on fire and they're like all these people died in their car. It's just horrible stuff So I know and it makes you think like well, you know, it's it's obviously possible that it could Come over to our area and so We uh, we're close babe. We're like

it's It's like three streets down dude. It's not three streets. It's three major streets. Yeah, literally No, literally and and that's another thing I because because I grew up on these mean streets. I'm like, oh my god There's fire there. I know that neighborhood. That's my best friend's family is and So Anyway, we're getting the fuck out of here But we thought well, well, there's still time because we don't know when we can come back to our house Yeah, just to do this and I know in a horrible scenario. I thought about it too. It's like this uh

Studio could be gone. It could yeah could be. Yeah highly possible and you know We're packing the essentials. We've got our lubricants, we got dildos dildos strap ons We got the fisting thing we got the cuffs flashlights Yeah, toilet paper like all the real family important stuff. Well, I will tell you that when I saw Joe had evacuated. I was like, oh shit like we were still in Napa Valley and he was with Marshall at a studio and I'm like, oh

Yeah, wow. Okay, because he's our he's yeah further west. Yeah, and I'm like that means the Jesus Christ that's coming our direction. Yeah Um, it's very scary and uh And so by the time we landed we saw the fires from the airplane that we were in and it was just chaos It's chaos and I think what scares me the most is that it's not contained at all It's at zero Not like 10 containment and usually the fire department They draw a line and and the fire doesn't cross that line

Yeah, but because there's no line right now. I know that's the part that I'm like let's Time to go and here's the other thing and people know containment don't know about So today like overnight Friday going into saturday The winds died the winds are the worst thing for the fires This is why it's a catastrophe. They blow the embers and it starts anew So it died the winds died and they got like some work done and put out some, you know, very little containment But then they're like, oh going into sunday. We're going to get santa anna's again

Yeah, I'm gonna pick up and who knows what will happen. Well, and the santa anna's are going to blow it directly towards us That's the real kicker and what's really mortifying is that There's not enough help because of the northern california fires We don't have as many resources down here So that's what's happening too is like when we were flying in i'm like where the fuck are the helicopters dumping water Not to say that there aren't firefighters giving their lives. Oh, they are they are but i'm saying that usually I mean when bel air was on fire you you saw them just dumping dumping dumping. I'm like, well, where where are these people?

And so they're bringing crews in from arizona now to help us fight this fire because it's zero percent contained Now those guys are amazing. The first responders are amazing. Um, I mean, look, i'm not shitting on you guys Anybody that's helping us fight the fire. I'm just saying that it does seem like there's way less out there Well, I think it seems like less because of how enormous this is. Oh my god I saw that thing today where they said there's 900 Firefighters, which you know, I don't know what that sounds like to you. That doesn't sound like a lot sound like a lot to me Yeah, when you talk about the scope of this thing. Yeah, it's really big Well and in pepperdine all those students that are yeah in there and the quote fire approved

Who knows this fire right now has burned 70 000 acres here It's not this recording. It's going to be higher by the time it comes out It is nuts It is nuts I don't know. I I you know, again, I've seen a lot of shit go down in this part of la I saw the 1994 we had an earthquake that just took down the saffronano valley, but I feel like this is on par. This is another major disaster

Upon us. Yeah, it's really scary We um Anyways, what is this guy drinking offer? We went to uh, napa and it was beautiful there and uh In the afternoon, we did make marital love. There's any after That's me I recorded myself Well, we were on ethan and illa's podcast age three. Yeah And you made it sound like we hadn't done it in I was backed up though. Wasn't I backed up? Yeah, remember you gave me a a nut check before you're like you are backed up

Well, a lot of people don't know that I I can tell exactly when was the last time your nuts were evacuated And they were evacuated big time on that trip. Yeah Yeah, everything came out I can touch them and just see that they're full or they're hard Okay Are they're low and loose? But they're low. I know that they've been milked That they're kind of lower and softer if they're high. Yeah, they're relaxed. That's empty Uh-huh

And if they're up higher and they're kind of full and heavy Then obviously that's funny that they're heavy and they're higher. I don't know why you're that's what your nuts do You're like kind of a nut expert. I'm a tom nut expert. I wouldn't say I'm a All I would say you're the ball queen And what's her name the ball hog I'm Peyton Lafferty. Peyton Lafferty. Yeah, I think it's Peyton Lafferty. Hi. I'm Searson and I'm a ball hog Hi, I'm Peyton Lafferty and I'm a ball hog. Yeah Yeah

That's it Rub your balls all over that comb Jesus Christ That didn't even make sense. I know she said to rub your balls all over that comb That's what she likes. That is not what she that is what she likes what she's saying. She likes she likes it Nobody likes that. You like that too Yeah, run those balls all over those tits. Yeah those taps. That's hot That everybody likes that t-e-t-s. You liked it. Oh fuck get your nose up in those balls

That's a dumb. It's fucking hot. It feels manufactured. It feels normal and sexy to me Very sexy. Is that sexy? How about this guy on the train though? Can we watch him for a minute? What city is this in? Um, I'm saying I'm going with east coast Well diesel some good I'm letting you all know This guy's fucked up. He's he's fucked up, but he's also he's this is smart advertising. This is how Somebody takes advantage of an opportunity. You have potential customers all around you. You have a voice that works Might as well announce that if you're looking for weed you get on the four train and all summer

I'm going to be here selling it. Oh, right. Yeah, I say it's word of mouth Yeah, it's like, well, I mean look weed is not that big of a deal anymore to most people But you're still sometimes looking like where to get it and if I'm on this train I'm like, oh, I just hop on the four train. This guy's gonna be selling weed Well, I'd say the benefit to his salesman Ship is that you're on the train. Maybe it's a nice time saver to have a two for one Absolutely. You buy your coffee and then if I'm like, I take the four train every five days a week Oh, I'll just look for this guy. Yeah. Where's that? Where's the drunk guy in the jacket?

Right and the two are five jackets that he's wearing. Where's the drunk five jacket guy With that loud ass fucking Purple derpal that he was promoting sour diesel. He's wearing wait one two three four jackets. It's like jacket jacket jacket jacket jacket. Yeah It's good. It's a lot of jackets, but it's probably to hide all that weed Yeah, well Oh The wife died her name was on the lease not his and that's why I'm homeless Oh, so he's really like he's basically saying I'm not

I'm homeless by circumstance. It's kind of not really. Yeah, he's like look ladies. I don't don't judge hard live with my mom. Yeah I live here on the fortune. I'm capable of monogamy I'm the kind of guy Who's the marrying kind? I also have five jackets if you're cold Even Keith shares his jacket with me. Absolutely And gentlemen Oh, he's got a memorize Spends a lot of time on that train. Yeah, uh, that is one thing I do miss

Living in Los Angeles. It's like public transit It's not the thing here It's not but it should be because I feel like we have so many crazy people that could really shine It's the best people watching. I know Like every time I go to new york, I just love the subway situation to experience The best part is that nobody makes eye contact People like will eat on the bus the subway, which is so disgusting to me And there's always a little threat of danger always that's what makes it more exciting. Yeah

Well, there's always somebody fighting or starting a fight, but you're not allowed to look Which is really annoying. Yeah, because if you look then you could get involved, you know It's interesting You always have this thing where you get to people watch and you can go sometimes people give you the signal like It's okay to watch me. You know, I mean, they'll they'll have a look to them that like I know I'm fucking weird I mean, you can watch me they know they know what they're doing. They put it out there like I'm not a threat And then there's people who you think are no threat whatsoever Yeah, and they fucking will flex on you and you're like, oh shit

Don't look at that guy. I know like I had to go down to the LA county clerk Last week to pick up our child's birth certificate. Yeah, that that kind of office is yo, that's one where you look at a wrong Put it this way I got a bag of takis Yeah And I bought water before I went to stand in line because I was like, oh shit's going to be on and lo and behold Some shit because you got people getting married You got people getting death certificates birth certificates with baby daddies You know I'm saying I saw like, you know 15 year old girls with babies getting the birth certificate

I saw some real rough-looking people. Yeah, there's a lot of scary motherfuckers birth and death that you know That is um, like an even playing feel like a that's what I'm saying It brings in all kinds You know what I was thinking though is like what do super famous people do like I thought that too Like you have to go to the DMV if you're fucking Mariah Carey or whoever or I guess can you send someone? Well, like it's an official Document, I know like let's say garth brooks. He probably goes down because it's in oklahoma And it's probably like he's probably

Like hey, I'm g and everyone goes nuts and they probably come out and they're like we realize this is an inconvenience for you So we already prepped everything for you. He's like, oh shucks Did you yeah, I'm just like you and they're like, I know you are here's your thing. Yeah Because I sign here. I can't imagine. Yeah, like famous people. Yeah hashtag. I'm not doing that. Thank y'all very much All right, like you have to get a death or to get a brother to get I thought like just brad pit just fucking show up places and he's like, hey, do I need a sign? I'm in line. Yeah, like brad pit has to do the eye exam at the DMV Or get his driver's license when he feels like he wouldn't but like how do you get around the eye exam?

I would love an answer on this. I know how there's so many levels to fame You know, like I remember I did jury duty a few years ago and adam mckay was behind me And I was like, oh shit, but he's also like this very Progressive, you know, I like I could see him being like this is my my civic duty And he's also he's famous, but he's not famous in the way that like people are gonna swarm him Well, I don't know what he looks like right, so I knew it was him But you know, he's the writer director. He did everything from anchor man to oh, he's funny Yeah, he just did that new that new one that's gonna come out with about vice president cheney

Where I showed you the trailer where it's a fucking christian bale Oh my god. Yeah, that looks amazed. He did that one about the you know the stock market the Long what is it long story short? What's it called? You know, I mean with steve corral also had christian bale. It was about like The collapse in oh eight anyways, he's a great writer director But of course like he's not somebody who everyone's gonna recognize right away, right? But yeah, I was thinking like would deniro be behind me. That's what I'm saying That jury duty today. I mean technically he's supposed to well the right Yeah, like everybody gets called in for that shit and being a celebrity like I'm just doing my duty

Yeah, but it doesn't exclude you from being a civilian like then again taylor swift showed up to take that was on the news She went to taylor swift. Oh, yeah, she she's normal though from what I understand But it also like I mean jury duty was a fucking chaos when she was there, you know, I'll hold on I just got set an update from Kelly who's about five minutes from us and there's an updated map a disaster map and I don't know let's see Yeah, looks like we're getting into kanoga park. Yeah, okay. It is. Yeah, it's spreading to kanoga Yeah, it's not good. It's not good Yeah, there's an incident map. Yeah, look, it's coming towards us now. It's getting closer to mulholland

All right. Oh boy Good boy So my friend who lives like five minutes Uh west of us is kind of giving us updates. She's closer to the fire than we are It's coming around the mountain, man Coming So I can send it to my friend what a what a surreal thing man this fire is like It's just devastating. It's so surreal on there. It's so surreal. I mean, this is a disaster

It's pretty wild, man What are we talking about? Oh famous people Uh, yeah, how the fuck? Okay. If anybody has any Insight on that like how do the mega famous people of the world do Average people things like and how do they how do they get away with it? If they're like, I can't like how do they get away with it? Who do they tell He's too famous to go down and especially like, you know with jury duty If taylor swift can go you're fucking that's right, you know

That's right. Okay. She's just sending me a good map What's it saying? Ah, let me see. This is another map. She's in a live fire web app. So let's see Leave a it's just a nightmare, but it is spreading now The winds are uh, they're picking up right now. Well, it's spreading. I mean, that's what that's what this is about Hold on. Let me see. Fuck Yeah, it's uh Coming down the mountain

Here's another one gene. I'll show you. Okay. Pepperdine's fucked Yeah, I knew that. Yeah Okay Yeah, I vey stokes canyon Calb ass is oh, but that's still the same area. That is still the same area. That's the same exit there. Okay. That's the same area Yeah, shit man chat's worth is getting fucked too. Rafa Roscoe there I vey I vey No good dudes. No good

Yeah Here's the here's the thing It is just so sad. I mean look we're fortunate that we have a plan where we know we're gonna go here in a few hours But there are some people that probably don't have you know family or friends or somewhere to go and I my heart just goes out to them. It's so it's so horrible. I just hope they can contain it It's just not happening though I know the the winds are gonna kick up tomorrow. It's no good

I wish this guy were here to sell us weed right now. I know It would be really helpful actually I wish we could get fucking ripped. Let's go after this. We're gonna go and we're gonna get ripped We're gonna settle in and get ripped. That's what it's all about natural disaster situations, you know Getting housed There you go Actually, there was this woman on the news last night

Um, it's a very fucked up story. She and her husband were in west lake village And they evacuated and they came back and their house was destroyed And he was like, you know, I'm just thankful that We're uh, everything we're okay. Everything with a heartbeat is okay right now and the wife Her lips were totally purple. Her teeth were totally purple. She's like, yeah, I grew up in Poland and I have fled a lot of stuff just their house She's like, it's okay I'm like, you poor poor woman, you know, she just started drinking the minute she felt safe. I'm like girl

I'm gonna do that shit tonight. Yeah, you're gonna see my ass drunk tonight I'll be there too. I'll be Can I my coffee back, please? I kind of stole that He's single Yeah, that's cool. Nobody thought he was gay. He said he was nobody thought he was gay. No one thought he was gay Yeah, he was saying he was married or he was just making sure that his single announcement was received by the Ladies, I am single Look at a mango. All you gay men enjoy your fucking gay life. Do you you're not gonna do me my nigga

I don't know why he's so threatened by all these gay men Hmm She's not amused right over here. No, she is amused and she's holding it Yeah, she likes the shit. It's funny. It's fun. I don't know get a douche You think I don't think she's yeah, dude. She's holding in She's like, all right. No, she's like this is a little crap. Damn. She's like, I prefer cleaner comedy Stingy Have a taste salty

Don't take a shower Your pussy's Oh, man That shit is fucking good bad. Yeah, you know, even tonight Sushi my nigga my girl got a girlfriend We have three sums every sunday night. That's not true. That's not true No, I thought you think he's lying about that party's lying the other stuff. He might be telling the truth about I think he's selling weed on the four train. I think his wife died

Um, I think he wants you to wash your ass. I don't think he wants you to have a stinky box But I don't think he has three sums every Saturday this guy should run for president Could be he's got a lot of good points. He does have a lot of good points I Remember when you are a kid though and you see like a crazy drunk guy It really fucks with you. If you see a guy like that, you're like, that's terrifying. I remember vividly. We were visiting Chicago And we went to church because we always had to go to church

And we're leaving church and this is like in the city in somewhere downtown chicago We're leaving and there was a crazy lady on the corner and i'm young. I mean i'm nine or ten And she goes, how dare you? How dare you drink his fucking blood? And I was like, whoa, bro And I was just like holding on to my dad and I was like, oh shit because I I didn't have a concept of that's A mentally sick or yeah highly inebriated. You don't know what that is You just know that that woman said some crazy. Yeah, and i'm like, why is she saying that and he was so calm. He was like Oh, she's uh

She's not she's not doing well What did he say? I don't remember. I remember he put me at ease. I mean, he didn't like really explain it to me Of course, god forbid that your parents would actually really like explain this to the mentally sick He was just like don't listen to her. She's uh, doesn't know what she's saying that kind of thing Yeah, yeah, yeah dismissive of it and I was like, but why is she saying that because she was saying such Crazy stuff, you know, and she's yelling at people leaving a church and I was like, oh, yeah I remember uh, my mother and I when we lived in this whole this like scary apartment complex I only say scary because there's there was a drunk woman that lived drunk is scary drunk is scary to children

And one night so there was our bedroom windows and there was like a little alley and then the other apartment complex So this woman would get hammered and then drop Shit into her toilet and I remember she was like Like like just Out of her mind and my mother in the middle of the night drags me with her to confront this That's not cool. It was so stupid drunk woman And she goes I dropped my ring in the toilet I can't get it out

Like she was so hammered and I remember his little girl being terrified that we'd confronted this crazy person What'd your mom say to her? She's like, well, you should shut the fuck up because you're scaring my daughter You're scaring us close your window because she left her window open and that's why it was summertime So our window was open because my mother would never pay for air conditioning And her window was open and everybody could hear her. She she told her shut up everyone. Fuck everyone who doesn't Run ac and opens windows. That's money well spent, dude. Damn you Fuck you and it's dangerous to keep your window open at night in a big city in the summertime

That's so stupid. Every fat guy listening is nodding right now Fuck them My parents were both super cheap. So no heat in the winter during our nighttime sleeping. Yeah, and then no cool I remember to this irrational fixation with numbers Like we would run the ac but I remember my dad would be like it's uh put it to 73 I'll be like wait, but it's that's not cool enough. It's it's a hundred feels good to me And he'd be like it's a good temperature You know if you went below that he'd be like

Why are you adjusting it? It's fucking hot outside. Let it be cool in here Such like uh, well, it's got to be that number. No, it's got to be cool See, I disagree with your cooling theory entirely your cooling philosophy is garbage. Here's why okay. Why what ends up happening Is because people like you is the same people that overcompensate for the heater Indoors in the winter time if you over cool the house in the summer, then it's too cold now I have to go put on a sweater. No such thing. It's like being winter time. No such thing There's no such thing is too cool in the in the like dead of summer. It makes me feel sick I have to sleep under the down comforter

When if it's a hundred and five outside, I want it to feel like a meat locker inside I want my house to feel 74 all the time. I like it nice and warm I gotta I gotta meet somebody else. I can't do this That's the deal breaker. It really is it's it's up there. It's it's at the it's near the top of the list I actually 75 feels perfect. I'm gonna start playing more vomit clips Well, stop stop saying nonsense then Even in the even in the dead of summer I like it. I don't like it so cold because like then it's then you're all fucked up

It's all hot and then you come in and it's freezing. It doesn't feel good. All right. I can't stand you But listen, I can't stand you. Um, so when I was in uh, florida a few weeks ago Sometimes this happens at shows where you finish your show and as you're saying Uh, thank you. Good night to the audience someone in the front row We'll try to hand you something. Yeah, you know, so and you know, you usually are like, what is it? Because it's kind of a Crazy rush of them, you know happening like you're saying goodbye people are applauding You're walking off stage. Someone's like, let me give this to you and a lot of times it'll be I don't know sometimes There's something someone drew

Uh, sometimes it's like food or something, you know, sometimes you look at somebody like I can't what am I supposed to do with this? It's just shit. That's you know, it's hard to say whether it's something you want, right? um anyways The other day That show ended and this guy had something. I'm like, okay, and I reached forward This guy handed me A dvd copy of riding the bus with my sister. Oh, yeah, that is that movie that we got so excited about

um Well, when we are packing for our escape here Yeah, you were like, I have to take this and you brought the you were like, you don't have to take that I was like, it's pretty important um It does feel If i'm being honest, it does feel pretty pretty important. Um How can we watch it? We don't have a dvd player. Do we I don't know the hotel might

Dude, that would make life so worth living Is it not on itunes this ridiculous film? Let's see. That's in the four seven one drops. Oh my god Is it not here? I Rosie O'Donnell playing a slow adult Yeah God, what year is this shit made? I think this came in Oh, it was a while ago for sure and dvd. Yeah. Yeah, it's 2005 Um, anyway, somebody gave Rachel is beautiful and successful. Lovely. Beth has a star

Excellent. They have nothing in common. I didn't even know you had a sister. She's retarded That's so that's the movie. Anyways, you want to try to watch it over the weekend? Of course It's all I've ever wanted. I'm pretty excited about it But then I got pointed to this other mug. We were talking about this everyone started sending me clips of this movie They're like, have you seen this? Carol and steven's life together was perfect I've got to get going right the second Hey, baby. Hey, sweetie

I love you. There's one small problem I'm wrong. I'm his brother with twins So this is Matthew McConaughey And uh, what's that actor's name there that was I don't know such a famous actor. This is gary oldman. Yeah, gary oldman Are you kidding me? Wait, watch It can tear them apart I think you're gonna let me know that everyone in your family's a midget They're not midgets carol the dwarfs. Whatever or bring them together

Are you kidding me? Hey, welcome. I'm steven There you are. This is steven's father bruno and his mom Kathleen and over behind the bar is steven's brother All right You could have prepared this for this don't you think if you embarrass me. I'll never speak to you again. So just get it together It doesn't it looks completely made up. That's this looks like a parody. Yeah, this is gary oldman Gary oldman Matthew McConaughey, Kate. What is in that Kate Beckinsale? This is like a ridiculously A-list cast right and then they're all Matthew McConaughey

When did this come out? This is a joke When the going gets rough, it's only the size of your heart that counts You knocked up this great girl and you didn't tell her that her baby's probably gonna be lit I'm not like you. We are so cute and cuddly don't discriminate against us that guy from uh, game of thrones Peter Dinklage How does this get this is crazy why can't I get more movies made this is I don't know but when did this come out? Man, I mean this is blowing my mind right now. It's it came out in 2003 That's why I got buried. Yeah, the thing is to get they

Okay, so here's the trivia on this director Matthew bright was fired after he turned in this cut And the whole film was then re-edited Peter Dinklage has said the original director's cut which screened in Austin was gorgeous But the people who fired him ruined the movie. So Who knows? It looks really nuts though God, I want to see it so bad. It's so stupid. I know it's like this I'll walk down the aisle. It's the craziest

Just help me He's just a beginning, but I mean it sounds like a student film voiceover. You know when I'm still It's all bad. I'm still reeling from the need to show her giving him a blow job Oh, and the first it was like they had a perfect relationship and she's blowing him. Yeah, like that's the Okay, he's like careful. I got midget coming there and then they cut to the next scene. Is that what I miss that? Don't be rough patches. There's no doubt about it Oh, fuck and they have a baby. Let's see canal plus and Langley productions probably present command performances from kate beckonsale Matthew McConaughey

Patricia arquette in the role of a lifetime The role of a lifetime that's one way of saying tip toes Is this a joke? Yeah, it's really crazy. That's everyone in your family's a midget. That is crazy Yeah, yeah, of course now what would happen. I mean, oh this movie would never come out It's really crazy, man Tip toes But that voiceover guy you're not fixated on that. I cannot get over that. It's horrible. No, it's horrible. It's notably bad Yeah, and it's like the copy is bad and his they got like the cheap

Voiceover guy. It's all bad. Why didn't you hire the real voiceover guy in a world? Yeah, I know tip toes Tip toes in the role of a lifetime the role of a lifetime Gary old Gary old. He said Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, he said it wrong too. I've never heard it McConaughey I'll tell you when I met Matthew McConaughey, right? No, I was at a party Yeah, so I used to hang out with this. Do I took an acting class like 2003? The one of the guys in my class was a tennis instructor to A very wealthy lady whose husband divorced her. No

He she lived across the street from Matthew McConaughey And directly next to her lived an arms dealer like a Saudi arms dealer who had bulletproof cars and shit And one night I went over I was hanging out we go. He's like, oh the neighbor's having a party The Nate that's the arms guy is like I don't know close to 60 And everyone at this party is in their 20s, right? And then I see someone On his basketball court

Uh wearing swim trunks and nothing else. Oh boy. Like who the fuck is that? It's Matthew McConaughey And then he comes over and like the girls are like, oh my god, they're about the baccalaureate And the girl goes, how do you spell that? And he goes, that's a good question And then he spelled McConaughey and then she goes, can you say it again? And he was like, yeah And he spelled his last name again, and I realized because he has this great lush hair. Yeah, he had goggles No swim goggles on oh boy, and then he put them on And then he was like I already spelled it twice for you

And then god and somehow and this is like early 2000s That was in the uh, you know like us weekly There's pictures of that party the goggles. No just him being at this party Why was he wearing goggles when he was playing because he was wearing swim trunks So he's probably swimming at his house. Oh, and then he came over and he was boozing. I thought it was his piece of flair Like, you know how mystery it kind of was flair mysteries to tell guys if they want to you need to have like an odd item on you Yeah, girls will ask about yeah. Yeah, I thought maybe that's what that was. Yeah interesting It's very yeah very odd very odd experience

I was like, oh, that's Matthew McConaughey. He's just like us just like us celebrities are just like us Just like us. He's played basketball in his shorts with swimming goggles on Just like us Yep Oh fucking movie tippy toes tip toes Tip toes I have a midget baby Is that that she gets knocked up and then

That's terrible. Yeah, doesn't he doesn't tell her that he has that dna? I know you think you tip toes I'm sure a lot of midgets around here. I mean just give somebody a heads up so that they can decide You should probably let them know they're not midgets care of the doors That's a good point. Hey, but she was blowing them all the time You think that she didn't get nuts busted in her. That was the implication at the top of the movie That's true. She's sucking his wiener all day long. That's a really good point really cool way of putting that Jean would you like to try a would you rather? Yeah I think this is uh, yeah, this came in here from our listeners. Hi, mommies. Love you both love the pomcast

After a major decadent dinner binge Followed by some dental care. I thought of this would you rather would you rather never be able to floss again? No, but only half of the calories of every food you eat counted Okay, okay, or Floss with abandon never have another dental update issue again But all of the foods you eat count as one and a half times their calories. Oh fuck that. Oh my god The first one former fatty with great teeth ariana first one. I know right I would just be too fat I'd be such I mean I feel like my body already processes calories as double what they're worth

I know so you give me this thing. I'm fucking 400 pounds by the fall I mean by by the new year. I know so yeah, I can't do it However, when we were in nappy valley I we I had eaten meat and then afterwards I was panicked because I didn't think there was dental floss Yeah, so I was like pulling strings out of my shirt and flossing and shit. It was terrible I don't like that feeling of meat stuck in my teeth. I have so much I mean, it's always a struggle and I think it'll always be a struggle But I have so much awareness about food and exercise now, especially in the last couple of years

and I realize how weak and vulnerable I can be to this especially because We uh, we had a driver who picked us up who had a box of pastries He was like, oh, I got these this morning And he handed it to us when we were on our way Oh, yeah, and I uh opened that thing and I was like and it was like fresh croissants and just pastries I started to devour these things. Oh, yeah, it was just mid-morning and

We got to our hotel and I was like I feel sick And you're like, oh, what's wrong? I'm like, I don't know. I think I just ate too many pastries right now because I couldn't control myself. Yeah, I really couldn't. I was like, yeah If somebody's just like, oh, do you want these delicious treats? I'm like, okay. I don't do the normal thing of like I'll have one or No, I'm good. I already ate. Yeah Yeah, that's true. You do like sweets. That's your jam right there. I like all food. That's true People always like you like sweets. I'm like not any more than I like other foods. I like food

I like to eat all of them. Yeah, it's a it's such a struggle Um What's this here? Here's another one. Hi, john and christine. Jesus My boyfriend and I listened to your old would you rather is we have a quick new one for the mommies Would you rather go pee would you rather go pee pee in your pants every time you do a stand-up show? Fuck I pretty much do or shit your pants every time you do a podcast Oh, you must remain in the said soiled items Of clothing for the duration of either the stand-up show or the podcast you gotta be out of your fucking mind

This is an easy one Can't make it this easy. Of course. I'm gonna stand there in my piss I'm not gonna sit here in my shit pants and do podcasts Yeah, I mean, I pretty much pee every time I laugh every time I laugh in my pants Yeah, I've got pee pants pee panties that I wear you pee unlike any Exertion of saying something dude. I lift my kid up. I piss I laugh I piss. Yeah, I'm really used to it by now Yeah, it's not that's not that severe Yeah, I would I mean it would suck to

To do every show you're like, all right, I gotta do my show now and you piss and you stand there I do stand there and soaked pants not soaked, but that's there's enough pee in my panties That's what this is saying like soaked. Yeah soaked. Would you rather sit in soaked pants? Stand in soaked pants or sit in shit pants Oh, no one wants to sit in shit pants and sit here for a whole podcast. I think everybody would choose pee pee I of course poo poo is just so nasty So fucking nasty Here's a cool guy. If you don't know this guy

This this cool dad right here Okay Dressed up as a Nazi and dressed his son up as hitler. I mean and he's like, what is everyone? I'm a history buff Because that's what you think of when you see people in I know you're like this guy fucking loves history You watch that you watching that history channel thing And he's like, yeah, how'd you know I'm like, well, you were in that Nazi gear He's like I just finished it man. It's a great series. You know, yeah, World War two man wild stuff

I'm trying to think of another costume. That's inherently such a bad idea like is there another figure in our history That's equally as I charged. I mean, I think it goes look. I'm not I'm not a social justice warrior by any stretch But even I know that like that's just kind of a no-no and I'm not I'm not pushing for that guy's right to do that Yeah, you know, I'm saying It's like you don't go you just don't You don't go as Stalin

You don't go as Hitler. I love but what's even more amazing is uh, how brash it is To get upset that people were upset about it. I mean this guy And wore this to a Halloween event And he got upset with people who got upset with him He wore an s s outfit dressed his five-year-old son as Hitler put him in a fake mustache Swats it is

Photo was taken. He was at an Owensboro annual event Which kids trick-or-treat. Oh my god the costume understandably offended many people And afterwards he shared his indignation in a facebook post Anyone who knows us knows we love history And we often dress as historical figures. Okay tonight as we walked we saw people dressed as murderers Devils serial killers of blood and gore Nobody bad and I but me I mean my little guy We dressed as these historical figures

And all kinds of people were making snide remarks when approaching us and threatening my little five-year-old boy Who's just dressed as Hitler? I don't get it. What's going on with people right now? You're saying that i'm out of line Geez This guy had an axe in his head. Yeah, blood falling out of his head. Nobody said anything I guess you know what would be the equivalent guys are crazy You know what would be the equivalent is somebody dressed as osama bin laden maybe right because that's such another hated

Historical figure like you you know what that person did dipshit. Yeah, it's not It's just not very intelligent. You think it's not intelligent I don't know But i'm trying to I mean look I i'm all for freedom of expression, but You just know that's a stupid one. It seems it seems like a lot like what's the victory? You know and I mean like you're fighting to do that. All right. Yeah, I'm not I don't know this guy That's your thing you you have to dress like hitler I'm different. I approve jews. So I'm not like that guy

You have to do that. I mean I like hit. I mean this is like a coincidence I like history and then it so happened I was dressed as a history guy and then you guys maybe you need to read more history That's that's his defense I guess you don't like history at all so bizarre You know the world is upside down It's something I think you've always been like this by the way. That's why I'm glad somebody sent this in

That it's you get uncomfortable watching old people be flirty or sexy. Yeah, it's disgusting and this guy I think he's recording his dad flirty on the phone You love it. You love it. That's the guy's dad. That's it. Turn me the fuck on sometime That's it. Give me a little warning If you can't join here today, I won't go take advantage of you Oh boy, here you go. Try and give me neck. You want to be ashamed of yourself? That's like someone's dad talking in front of him too, right? That's weird So nasty imagine talking in front of your kid like you're getting me all warmed up right now

Yeah, give me a feel in all kinds of ways. I'm getting horny. It's so nasty Girl tell my damn mom on you. You try to take advantage of me Try to get my draw You know y'all be a damn shame You want it? What you gonna make me feel good? Yeah Huh?

Yeah Oh, okay got this Let's throw up Make me play You're trying to get the anaconda You're trying to get the anaconda. You're trying to straighten out the anaconda. Try and get a nice Oh boy You know, that's just as disgusting as hearing your parents tell you dirty jokes

It's a lot. Do you know that's a form of like child abuse? Yeah, when you tell like you when you're sexually overly sexual in front of your children It's abuse. It's disgusting. It's it's yeah, it's a lot. I I had a friend whose mother would always Tell dirty jokes to him like sexual jokes and it totally messed him up. I don't think it's good Could you imagine your mother being like to me to me your photo makes me so Yeah, you know, you wouldn't have that ass, don't you? Your photo has a huge cock

And he make me so horny yuck Yeah I do have big balls, but He does I've seen them, but he didn't show them to me. I just happened to see them Well, how well when he flips around on the bed? No, he was He was in his room

I walked in like unannounced and he had already showered and he was putting on underwear. I saw him bend down Oh my god, and I saw these big pig nuts from behind. He does have five sides. No, we've talked about this before I've seen his nuts. They're not good. They're enormous, but your nuts are going to be that big too. Don't you think? I don't they're not already that's when I got to start making fetish videos. I think when you're yeah Cash in when I'm in the 70s and like old Hanging nuts and I'll have like my special clips and big farts I got nuts and and it'll just be I'll have like 50 Male fans all over the world who's like 50 fart on your balls for us tom

I'll be like pay pal me 20 bucks. I'm not gonna fart for nothing. All right I'll make my special videos. Yeah As you come through it. I'm not farting till I get the money How much would you demand for stuff like that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I got it I got to study the marketplace. I got to study the marketplace per fart $50 a fart Yeah, but I want multiple people paying for them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good money

You got them hundred dollar farts man if people were sending you a hundred bucks per fart multiple people I know it's a good business model. I'd be like, yeah, I retired from comedy years ago. I fart on my balls all the time They fart on my balls That'd be my video I tuck my balls between my legs right near my asshole and I check this out. I fart on my balls And then people are like, oh my god, your videos get me so hot I Men are so nasty. There we guys out there I know it's so nasty. Yeah, why are you so nasty guys are super nasty

Oh My dad was so inappropriate Like he used to have um, I tell you that he's to have a beer That you would scratch off and you can see ladies tits So he'd be like go give him a little beer. I was always getting my dad a beer Yeah, and then he would scratch scratchers and see the tits on how many times you get a beer You think every night is my job. Really? Of course you get in the reef. My dad was an alcoholic That's all you do is you learn how to open beer when you're young and bring drinks when you're young

That's what alcoholic children get a fresh one all the time. Of course That's the only time he paid attention to me is when I was bringing Are we be watching the game together and I'd be like can I have some of your beer and that was like a big deal Really pay attention to me then and then he'd give me some a little bit of beer and a cup and dilute it And let me drink some with him and I felt really special then that is kind of nice. How old were you? seven eight nine Sure, sure, and then he had a rubik's cube under That was like a naked lady rubik's cube

it's like they're You know you'd rubik's different naked ladies on every side and that was just out in the house too So that was kind of cool as a little girl to see that stuff growing up. What do you think of it? You must buy nothing Right We like this is cool Well the the confusing part because you're stoked because it's a rubik's cube and you're a little kid You're like, oh sweet. We've got one of these wait a minute. There's tits on wait a minute This is some new

So that's kind of the thing your your one hand excited and then on the other hand like not it feels weird There's those people that can do a rubik's cube in like 30 seconds. Yeah What do you think what's going on there back in the 80s? They're a lot of people that could do that I mean i'm talking about now Do you see people in video? They're like, oh, just check this out. That's such a gift. Yeah. How do you see that? How do you do it? Such a talent Something tells me they might not be the best at conversation, but It's probably mild ass burgers. Like how do you do it? And they're like, well, yeah

You don't see it You're like, oh, that's a great explanation. Thanks These rock back and forth Of course That's who can do that shit. I wonder if this guy can do it. I've been having I had this video for a while But I didn't know I figured you would like this guy. So I saved it for a minute. Okay, and then I don't know Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another view to dimensionalist. I'm a dimensionalist Today I'm going to recite the Lord's Prayer and ancient aramaic and the best way I can

I don't even know what happened there. I don't say I got a hundred percent But it's like people pronounce the english word and you know that what they how they hear it and you know, hey, that's right That's or that's almost there. But you understand that it's that's the word but they kind of got it off But it's it's right kind of I got you look like one of your friends a little bit I feel like he reminds me one of your friends. No. So here it goes I don't I don't like this at all. So, excuse me. I've really got ready for gotta get ready for this because it's very hard to pronounce

These are syllables these aramaic words. Okay Is that why I need new teeth? I don't know the whole thing. It kind of makes me squirm What is it about? Okay, I'll tell you what's it's all It's it's a good submission is what you're saying. It is very close Uh, he is wearing a shirt, which is a little depressing The the framing's wrong. I like the background. I'm seeing an old fridge. I'm seeing a lot of plastic and I'm not sensing drugs, but I end something something's wrong. You know, so there's a balanced air Something's naturally wrong, but it's not exacerbated by drugs. So that's a little bit of a bum

Uh The lighting's terrible the audio's good decent decent upset about that There is some white noise in the back like Something like that for his video. This is a video. He's hoping would be viewed I'm sure by a lot of people who wanted to see him speak aramaic Luckily for him, we got a hold of it and a lot of people are seeing it Um, I'm also really liking the camera angles on Um, his skin condition and his teeth condition like it's it's every good. Well, it's neat to see it all very close

Because you don't want to be like what's wrong with his teeth. Oh, I see what's wrong. Thank you for showing wrong with his skin This is a very close almost microscopic view of what's wrong This is what a dermatologist would be sure the thing is we all have flaws But you don't want to close up You want to hide them you want to conceal you want to trick of the light Yeah, hold the camera on the other side of your face But you're right it does have all the makings It is a quality submission a lot of shit in the background the poor lighting a lot of stuff not

Not lacking in stuff Yeah, I don't know. I love aramaic There's got to be a linguistic expert who I would please love your uh Your review of his aramaic because That especially that exchange sounded like I can make up anything And nobody will know that this is not aramaic. Well This is a phenomenon. No, there's no way

When you're learning aramaic, they're like La la la la la Let's say aramaic this head tilt back moment is my favorite Oh You know, I'm just practicing my aramaic. How do you say that in aramaic? Look at those go Look at those goblin teeth me. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good Isn't this what hillbillies do when they speak in tongues? Uh, I think it's all different.

It's nonsense. Yeah, it's what really dumb people do I try to tell you that they're really feeling it when that happens, you know The jc is tapping. I'm like, I gotta tell you something. Sure. Yeah But that's what this is right to speaking in tongues. I mean sounds similar. It sounds like some bullshit And there's one oh here we got a finishing one here I Good job, man, what are you going? I would love somebody schooled us on there like that was perfect What's all that mountain of bullshit behind him now that I'm looking I think dr. Drew would say well

There's a little bit of hoarding Definitely he's not well camped there might be some mental illness here Drugs are mental illness. What's what's your money on? Uh, I think yeah mental. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go mental illness on this one Yeah, yeah, definitely It doesn't have the manic Presentation of drugs. Yeah Yeah Oh, man

There's chicken coming. Yeah, I like chicken. I know you like chicken You are so nasty. Uh, you are just the nastiest When I don't have my chicken I get low-wire wise. Hey, fuck you both of you I missed her. I know she's so great. Hey, fuck you both of you. Yep. I can't wait to become like her these little pieces. I shit What is that menopause? That's like 10 years from me. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be great Cut that hair short really shut it down. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah Yeah, figure it out Figure it out get that real short haircut

Right much more comfortable clothes. Yeah. Yeah, like mine. Mine's a good look for a woman for sure That's what they do. That's funny to have this haircut as a woman. Oh my god. You either have to be gorgeous Yeah, or not give a fuck right one of the two you're either so beautiful that this hair cut Actually, just people just see your face. They're like, wow, she could pull off anything Definitely, or you're like I'd it's repellent. You go. I did this. Yeah people away I mean either you're like a model you're in your 20s Yeah, you you could just wear a burlap sack and shave your head and you're beautiful But no, no, dude. Yeah, most of you. No, no most pieces of shit

Pieces of shit both pieces of shit Like her style man You know the thing that fucking sucks About an evacuation like what we're about to do is just the logistics of it the packing up things That's the part that actually is the most annoying right? You're like Fuck I gotta get everything together that part sucks We've already done that part though. I know thankfully. I know but that's what I'm saying It's the transporting thing. It's the worst. Look, it's all it's all bad, but here's the I would rather

You know do it at a leisurely pace of course do it at a panicked rate when it's when they're calling Get out get out get out. Yeah, and you know, that's imminent. So Let's just do it now. Let's just settle in So we're not panicked when the call come And then this I figured would be Uh Somebody sent this this would be of interest to you. Hey tad and Katrina

Yeah, I thought you guys would appreciate this nugget of space brown knowledge I found I guess in a museum of some kind in Columbus, Ohio. Enjoy. I'm not too dumb to come Lindsey Does the crew pee it says Oh Yeah, the space station bathroom has a long plastic tube for collecting urine and a water-free toilet for bowel movements A vacuum pulls waste into a special compartment Footstraps at the base of the toilet help keep the crew members from floating away while they're using the bathroom

Well, now this makes sense. Yeah, you finally got it. Oh my hey fucking Gosling why couldn't this be in the movie? Yeah, where's that scene? I noticed though. There's nothing nothing here About coming And that's a real disappointment. Where do they ejaculate? Yeah, where's that one? I want to know What they do when they finish, you know shooting their load. Where does that go? You know Jesus you're really into this clip today That's how you orgasm you're really into that one that's how you orgasm Canada, Iowa. No, that's a guy just finishing off

He's jacking his dick in space and then right as he's about to load his load. He's like It's fun it's a fun clip All right, so it's an unusual week for us We didn't actually know if we would be able to record anything after this thing started because Again, our studio is in our house We're gonna be leaving. I don't know if we're coming back Monday, tuesday, later. I don't know what's happening ever. I know it's I mean Who knows dude? It's

It's a crazy day for us crazy So i'm glad we got to take a little break and get into silliness before we go into this nonsense For that to embark upon right now and thank you very much. I know we have a lot of Fans and supporters and we appreciate all your guys nice messages. Of course, um, if you Are in You know a position to help people out Luckily, we don't need your help, but there's a lot of people out here that do so look for those Maybe we can post some

Places that are accepting donations for people in need. Yeah, especially out here in like the Thousand Oaks area They got fucked So i'll try to find that and post that look look on our social media twitter and instagram and That's that man. We uh We'll uh, no. Oh, I fuck it's weird to say but they posted it. They put it up. So i'll just tell you we have All our holiday stuff our holiday merch went out

Or is coming out this coming week. So It's uh, it's like there's a bunch of you know, there's ornaments. There's a stocking this year The uh, the sweater last year was santa wares jeans this week this year. It's uh, jesus war jeans And there's also a jesus war jeans t-shirt Last year we donated a portion of our proceeds to children's hospital of los angeles This year we're donating to uh The starlight foundation. Oh, that's nice. And that is an organization that tries to make hospital stays Uh easier more comfortable for kids. So kids that are in hospitals

It sucks enough. They do things like they'll instead of like, you know, hospital gowns are all shitty and rough they'll do things like Get hospital gowns that have like team logos or you know kids favorite um cartoon characters and The new thing they're going for now is virtual reality Um for kids in hospitals. So that's really hopefully what we're going to do is uh, we'll take portion of our Proceeds from our holiday merch and I hope we're in a position where we can buy a few

Virtual reality goggles. So and I'll document that I documented a shopping trip last year to Toys R Us which amazingly I think The next month Toys R Us went out of business. No, can you believe it doesn't exist anymore? I know it was crazy I was like I was just there and we bought like carts of toys and we dropped it off Um at the donation site But um, I'll do something like that this year where I'll document it. I like documenting it showing you what we're doing. So We'll do that again this year again, this is a weird week for us, man, but

Hopefully we'll be back um in another week and we'll have uh something to Talk about and we'll be in a much lighter and fun more fun mood. But until then Um, we're gonna leave you. I don't even have where's my I got I gotta play a song. I don't have my songs I gotta have a song

Let's see what I got here. Okay. I got something. All right. Um, love you guys and we'll see you Soon. Bye. Bye. Bye Let's glass let's glass. I got a moose. Let's glass. Let's glass. Let's glass. I got a moose Yes, have you ever seen a moose go down that quick? Holy cow