Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 486-Danny Brown-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: February 13, 2019

The Bruiser Brigade is in the building. Who knew that Detroit's own, Danny Brown would be such a natural fit in the mommy dome?  Fit? We're talking first ballot hall of famer. Pull your jeans up over your ears and let this one remind you why you swore to the denim gods to begin with.  AND, we found a guy that is SO COOL he actually breaks the mold of the Cool Guy Club and we think he has formed a new club? Just wait til you hear what this Nick fella has to say. 

What it do You know I mean, I like this music I like it too. Whoa, I like that Catatonia by Canon Kanan C-A-N-A-A-N. I like it I like it Ugh Where are you gonna be next gene? Well gene?

I'm going to be February 23rd at West Siloam Springs, Oklahoma at the Cherokee Casino February 28th through March 2nd, Madison, Wiskamanya at the Comedy Club on state tickets are moving very quickly for that The feeling filling up fast April 4th through 6th Many Appletits Minnesota at the Acme Comedy Club May 10th and 11th 10p, Arizona at the tampon improv May 34th through June 1st Burbank Sperm Bank, California at the Flappers Comedy Club and then June 20th through 22nd Washington Dick Come at the Dick Come improv. Also. I've got some other stuff coming up. I'm gonna be looking at you Chicago

I'm gonna be looking at you Boston So stay tuned for those dates though. Those will be in the summer sometime tickets at Christina P on line gene Here is a big update for me. This is Crazy, okay May 5th, May 5th. I am adding my fifth show at the Moore Theater in Seattle, Washington That's on sale June 28th, I'm adding my second show at the Orphium Theater in Wichita, Kansas That goes on sale at 10 a.m. Local Time this Wednesday

And we also added a second show in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. That is August 10th So those are the summer bro Yeah, those are the new the add-ons and then I can tell you an update as far as the ticket situations for some of these shows This week there's some single tickets left. That's it in Late Pittsburgh and like less than a hundred. You'd be sitting alone, but in Cincinnati as well You can still get tickets March 9th to the Hard Rock in Hollywood, Florida. You can get tickets March 20 sick. It's March. It's March 20 sick. It's March 26. It's a stupid. I know you fucked that up really good

That's in Portland, Maine Late show has been added in New Haven, Connecticut. That's March 30th. I'm not a cop And then the late shows in Madison and Milwaukee. That's April 11 and 12 They have tickets. The early shows are sold out. You could also try to get tickets to the late show in Nashville, Tennessee, April 14th And there is a late show April 28th in Medford at the Chevalier Theater Those are all my updates. Tom Segura.com

Go to the tour page Jeans are at Your tickets are at Christina P online. There you go Did you see the shirt I'm wearing? Yeah, you're wearing a sub cane shirt. I found this deep in my closet, dude I put this away. I was so excited that I found I barely fit into it, but that's that og shirt That's what that's what he was talking about. I know I squeezed like one didn't That's how I did it today. That one blew up man. That was a pretty shirt. This is limited edition

You stupid that was so fun stupid. I know I keep thinking about what a charming gentleman he was Yeah, it was great, man And I it was so exciting to see you so stoked. That's what everybody kept messaging me. They're like, I've never seen you So happy I know and it's funny because we stopped rolling and we were taking photos with him and you were just ear to ear And I said to him I'm like listen birth of the children didn't matter. Yeah, this was Tommy's prom That's what you said. It's a big daddy cane. You're like, this is Tom's prom leading you. So excited. He was like, okay All right

He's like you guys are fucking dorks. All right weirdos Uh gene there's a lot to get into we have amazing guests today. It's gonna be a lot of fun Why don't we go ahead and kick the party? Oh boy. This guy looks interesting. Let's start there. I just hope um That there's some woman are women out there um, who really like um Having their pussies licked I knew it. Why don't I know this? Don't bring anyone loving to this

Welcome welcome welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura And Christina Pajitson Welcome to your mom's house You And you and you and you Yeah Hey, man, how did I know?

Remember I was like, what's the opening clip? Is it gonna be pussies dick fart and it was exactly what you wanted It was a super cool guy Uh, can we see that again? I want to see his very first clip again. I just hope I don't like his voice I just hope um That there's some woman are women out there Mm-hmm. Um, who really like um, having their pussies licked That's that's all That is a cool guy. All right, I think a lot of women like

There you go Should that be louder? Yeah, that's good. He says it's good. Okay a lot of women like getting their pussies licked. It's really you could raise it a Little bit. Oh, okay. It's really a matter of who's licking it If we're not just indiscriminate Lickers, it's got to be like Somebody you want to put their mouth on your stuff. Why does it matter who puts their mouth on you? Does it not matter for you? No Of course not like when when you're out on the road and your cool beaver bus the bang bus

The bang bus allows anyone who's down to bang on it. Oh, wow. Yeah, cool. Yeah, I don't have any there's no rules There's no rules on the bang Are you down? You want to bang? You got a mouth that I can put stuff in do you really? I cannot believe that somebody has standards for a mouth I mean, I understand. Are you serious? I understand a vagina. Okay. Like I'm you know, it's like, yeah, you're not just gonna f Whoever but if someone's like put your stuff in my mouth. I don't care put your stuff in my mouth Yeah, there's no like standard for that. What do you mean? I'm sorry. I don't understand. I'm saying like any Woman who was like, do you want to put your stuff in my mouth? I'd be like, okay

But what about the women with no teeth or like the moose soup lady or like sores on her mouth? It doesn't bother you sores. I mean now you're talking to talk about something that you visually can see as a problem Yeah, but like if somebody who's just like You know undesired unattractive. I'd be like, yeah, you can still put it in her mouth I guess that's true because like lot lizards Be heard of those people. Have I heard of them? Where do you think we sleep on the road? We pour into those lots The bus lives in the lot Lot lizards, they're they're like nasty chicks that suck dicks, right? Yeah, they just hide in the bushes

And they're like, you want to get a little sucky done? Yeah Yeah, and how much do you have to pay the lot lizard? No lot lizards live on it. That's how they live They live on come. Yeah. It's like a come dog. Uh, you know, El Chapo I know I know him El Chapo. They just so he's he's Having a trial right now in brooklyn. No for uh, just a lot of crimes. Let's say Yeah conspiracies and murder and trafficking And somebody testified that they would procure underage prostitutes for him Um, and he was getting like young teens

And that he said that they were that when he When he had sex with them that they were vitamins for life That's pretty out there, but can I tell you that I mean it's not that out there for I feel like a lot of guys Believe that like my dad. I think that I think there are men out there who sincerely think cool guy club The guitar riff gets me that but don't you think that like there's a lot of older men gentlemen out there That feel like young pussy is the fountain of youth. Well, yeah, they're not wrong. I'm saying that like But the like you get the vitamins in your painter. You I think

able to being able to uh Categorize it and describe it as vitamins. It's very articulate and creative and really out there and accurate too It is accurate, but I just you know, usually when you hear it spoken you go. Oh, wow. Yeah, hearing it is different Yeah, like I always knew it took place Yeah, that description really sticks with you Right that description and also because you and I are really into the show love after lock up Oh my god So into it and there's there's a guy on there who's married to one girl

They have one two-year-old and then they have another baby on the way. She's pregnant He's married to her and then now he's in love with another girl and he's gonna propose to the other girl Women are both unaware of the other one. It's pretty fun. He's just out of prison So he's on parole like the guy doesn't have a job. He has nothing lined up and he is thrilled Is to be a liar face To these two women. He's pretty scary actually He's probably the scariest guy. Yeah, and I they don't tell you what he what he was locked up for well They they say it's a parole violation. You don't know what the original crime was

But that that dude is the scariest by far because he enjoys The attention of like baby, I got to go now and that girl's crying He's like stop crying and keep crying stop stop stop crying. I mean keep crying He has dead eyes and he um, he toys with them. He's like a real master manipulator a narcissist. He's scary Yeah, he's kind of scary. That's so scary. I know but the show is unbelievable. Here's some advice by the way This is what I got from watching that show Uh, don't reach out to convicts They're terrible people. Yeah, not all of them. I'm sure don't start dating

People in prison. That's what the show that's the lesson of the show Or don't try to marry them and try to get them to be normal people after well They happen is everybody is this like they're all the same The ones who reach out like they want love you can tell that they're like they they want love Right, that's what they want. But yes, they want the ones who are who are reaching out to the to the prisoners Sure, they go on these sites and then they find somebody who's like confined to a space And you go like well, that's this person can't hurt me. It's ideal. Yeah, it's ideal. They can't leave me

They can't cheat on me. They can't do these, you know, and they and they also rely on me for my affection and my attention You see it perfectly healthy relationship. It's a good dynamic and then like they build the relationship under those You know Parameters well because yet the scales are so imbalanced like one is completely it's like having a child It's dependent on the other and it's totally right. They're doing that for a couple of years two three years Yeah, that i've been communicating with you, but you've been in this, you know, essentially like a submarine You know, you can't go anywhere in it It's like and then it comes up to the surface and you finally get out and they're like well

I want the dynamic to stay the same right but they can't because they're finally free and they have this other life And they can't be controlled and they're horrible people. They're horrible people So now the horrible person starts doing the horrible things Either it's their their drug addicts. Yeah, they're liars They're closeted to gays or bisexuals and then they or they use the the outside person for money on the inside This one chick is like I got eight hundred thousand dollars from tricks on the inside and the closet A thing what she's what she's uh referring to is basically don't you mansplain me?

Well, how dare you because it sounds like you're saying like there's a problem with with the gays Yeah, well, yeah, I mean they're all what you're referring to is somebody who basically Didn't tell the person who uh, they've been dating on the outside that they in fact are Gay or bi so now the person on the outside is like wait a minute you like You know women too I didn't know that and he's like Yeah, that's Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that yeah

Small detail a lot of lying. There's there's just a lot. They lie a lot convicts lie a lot just like the gays. Yeah Just like the gays Yeah Well, so what does this cool guy want he wants to oh, yeah, can we go back to this awesome guy? He seemed really really cool seemed like he just He's just a sad. I just hope um That there's some women are women out there plural um who really like um

Having their pussies like yeah, that's that's all I really want. You know Um to be truthful, that's all I keep asking God for I just And honest to God just one look pussy. That's that's where my heart's at It's where my mind's at I got if you're out there and you're interested in me and your friend On this site of mine And you really want to have that done Okay, I got it. I'm seriously interested in doing that like I know you are yeah, I mean it doesn't seem unreasonable Well, when you're including it to your prayers to God

He means it like dear god cure my cancer. Yeah, take care of my grandma I want to like pussy like a lot of it. Yeah, man. I just think God gets that prayer a lot I think um I don't know. I think putting it out there though is a cool thing. I think God probably does get that prayer a lot I really do I think God does I think there's a lot of people out there who's like, please me get my dicks that guy What do you think God gets asked for the most? Money, definitely. Yeah money health and then pussy licks. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of people probably ask God for love

You know, which is kind of nice, but I think I think there's definitely He probably gets more sexual prayers from men It's mostly the guys that are like, please let me get my dicks. I please let me I think we actually um, it's it's probably fair to assume that God has his own um Anthem in his head that goes now. There's a cool guy Like every time that prayer comes in he's like, here we go. Here we go again. He's fucking cool guys Another guy wanting to get his pussy licked. Mm-hmm his man pussy licked. I mean

That guy is not the most attractive for those listening No, but There's a woman out there who would let it happen, of course It look if there's one lesson we've learned from love after lock up is that there's somebody for everybody Yeah, that's true. Yeah with the internet now you can find Uh anybody There's some of those losers that um are are reaching out to the uh To the prisoners like they can get completely hosed. Yeah, they're still like I love her so much

Jesus so dark. Yeah, they have such poor self-esteem. Now. That's that's really the other key ingredient to dating an inmate Is that you have really bad self-esteem and that's why bad dating experience because they're also always like Right, there's always the well the last person Broke up with me or dumped me or did this to me. So now Now i'm gonna play it safe data say And then they always put that person in debt the prisoner the inmate finds a way to siphon the money out of them They're all in debt because of the president. Yeah, it's such a great show. It's great. Really a good one. Yeah I'm five buddy

Real quick because people asked us this and we wanted to make uh, so last week Course the great big daddy kane was on which was awesome. Really fun. Um A lot of people mentioned or sent messages That there was something wrong with the video quality on youtube And that it was uh that the highest resolution was 360p and they're like what is up with that? And you know, I started talking to blue band about it You said that uh, you didn't know and then you reached out to youtube. What'd they say to you? Right? Yeah, I reached out to our youtube contact and Seems like it's a bug

It is now being escalated. So they are currently working on trying to bring but it's a youtube glitch. Yeah, it's a yeah It's nothing that we did. Oh Yeah, this is the first time it's happening to us. I'm not sure why it happened Okay, so that was the main thing though. It wasn't like we decided to record it or upload it differently It's something Internal on their part. Right. All right Um, can I bring up something very quickly? Yeah before yeah before we have to yeah, we have to make yes I know before we bum everyone out

I just want to say that I had such a wonderful time watching you with your hero big daddy kane and Like I said, you don't really get joyful about much Um, but it was great seeing you just ear to ear with him And it inspired me to reach out to my heroes and I'm currently on a campaign To get kim and kelly deal in here of the breeders Uh kim deal formally the basis for the pixies. I'm a huge fan. You're a huge fan. You might know this I got to meet kim once on the street and I practically I was with you shit my parents were on hyperion Yeah silver lake and I I don't care about celebrities, but I do love the deal sisters. I think we were walking by say cheese

and uh say cheese Yeah, say cheese. It's a cheese shop And he told me to talk to her and I did and I was so scared But guys listen, so kelly deal. I've I've reached out kim is not on twitter But kelly is and I've reached out on twitter and she's so far retweeted my tweet. She's liked the tweet I need your guys help to get kim and kelly on the show. So here we go guys. Let's get mommy power on it It is at kelly deal k e l l e y d e a l

Let her know And let her know that I would love to have she and her sister on your mom's house to plug any upcoming maybe concert dates I know they tour as the breeders Anyways, there you go. I'm putting it out there in the universe. That would be my big daddy kane so to speak And is this this isn't your confession though? Is it or is it? No? I'm so embarrassed. What is it? I'm really this is something I have not revealed to you. I kept it from you today I kept it from everybody. This is you're scaring me. This is an exclusive You'll notice that I haven't reached for the fart mic today

And it's because this morning in the kitchen. I was making myself a smoothie and And I farted and then a little wet came And and I wasn't wearing any underwear under my pajamas I don't I don't wear any underwear on my pajamas and I'm standing in the kitchen And I just farted I feel like wet down my leg and I was like, I don't know where where that's from And I went upstairs and you were in the remember you were upstairs and I was like, oh, I gotta think I gotta take it

up. Yeah And you didn't know at that point or you didn't know I figured it out So you you kept it from me. I because I didn't know if it was a shard or it could have come out of another You didn't throw those pants away. Did you I threw them away? What? Or in the trash can it's just a little bit of shit Wait, but babe, I just want to know how much was it. So here's the deal man Last night we had pizza the cauliflower crust pizza with all those meat toppings And so I I sat down to do brown and it was like liquid came out of me

So I sharded and the reason I sharded because it was like liquid as a deal, man But it was liquid brown it didn't hurt like diarrhea It was just all liquid and is that what a shard is it's like it's not necessarily I mean a shard doesn't have to be exclusively liquid No, because I had one and remember we were flying to african. That was my first shard ever. Yeah, that was smart 2011 we were at the international Terminal at atlanta airport at heartsville jackson ready to board a 16 hour flight to johannesburg

And christine was like, I'm gonna get some tacos. You want some? I was like, I'm good And then three talks right away on that flight. She's like I sharded But that shard was different because it was like a hershey kiss mashed into the thing and the panty But this one was liquid, baby. It was like a it was a liquid fart. Have you ever had that? Yeah, yeah, you know when I had it when we lived in redondo, I remember I know exactly good We were on this we're trying this juicing thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and there was something called like something green Like yeah, all the green you need or some shit. Yeah, and it was a scoop of this powder Yeah, so I was standing also in the kitchen. Yeah, I remember and I farted it was just liquid

That's what happened to me, but it was I mean it was big. I was like, oh and then It's just water water works. That's what happened to me and then the next day I did it again. You did you ate the same thing that gave me the shard I didn't know for sure. I thought maybe all something's up with my stomach this morning. Yeah, I did the uh, the green powder again Farted all water. Yeah, and then I dumped the fucking powder down the sink. I was like, oh, so this is how you lose weight on this It gives you cholera. Yeah Well, it made me think about are you kept that secret

I kept I kept I was a little ashamed because by the time I'd figured it out because I thought You know, I don't know what this is and I sat down and by the time I'd figured it out I was shitting already and I don't want to call you in and tell you and then I was like I should save it for the show because this is kind of a big deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah But it made me think about the very important question Which is do farts push the shit out and I have to say in the case of a shard Yes, they do. Yeah. Yes. They do push this. Do you think it was pizza that it was the pizza It was because that's a really all I ate yesterday and I ate a lot of it

And it was that cauliflower crust. It gives me farts and bad dumps every time. God unbelievable, man I can't believe I should I just 42 years old and I had my first like liquid shard. Oh boy Isn't that exciting? It's really exciting. It's really something Anyway, so now we forget on to the back. Should we talk about the Yeah, before before that I want to just bring up that this uh, thursday Dr. Drew after dark starts

The audio comes out thursday and the video will come out friday, correct? So exciting on our youtube channel Yeah, 12 p.m. On friday dr. Drew after dark the video will be uploaded All right, the debut episode features your very own christina p Uh, we also have uh, we have four in the bag right now. We sure do. Yeah, and we're gonna keep recording them. So It's such a fun show. It's really fun. I did one. Uh, you did one bobby lee did one. Yep. Yeah Who else are the other one? And they're good because Our dr. Drew. I mean, he's just such a great talent and host but like

Great at conversation. He breaks down clips. He really gets under the hood with you on different things. I really enjoy it No, yeah, it's gonna be fascinating. All right, so don't forget that that that'll just come on youtube If you're if you subscribe to this, you'll just get the video update So that'll be great and then great his uh, audio if you want to just download You need to find dr. Drew after dark, but you can you can subscribe to it right now, right? Yeah, if you follow us on uh, on twitter drew after dark on twitter Um, and also we'll be we'll be tweeting out the links to that too. Yeah easily subscribe And we give out the email and the phone number you can like have questions red and yeah, we'll have that ready to go

All right. Here's the big uh Update before we move on to some some clips here. Yeah Uh, it is over between us and mortons I can't believe it I'm It's almost like one firing

Okay, that was devastating. Yeah two firings from sponsors is kind of crazy this year. Yeah mortons fired us Yeah, um over the weekend and they said we just uh, don't fit their brand objective right now um They don't fit our brand. They were upset that we You did bring up the dry and the wet aged beef, but you didn't elaborate. I guess was the problem I wasn't as familiar with certain products. You weren't knowledgeable enough about the product Just there last week by the way. Yeah, and they treated me like I was a celebrity That's always what they do before they fire you they pump you up

Yeah, when I got fired from chelsea lately saying thank god you're doing a great job here And then they fired me the next day. It's crazy. But yeah, so they fired us Again, I had to give a couple grand back to the uh, the you know the people that Initially gave it to us for the paint job here. Yeah Um anyways, so we're not with them, but we still have steakhouse vibes So uh, just putting a call out to any steakhouse that wants to be affiliated with this show Well, I think you would just be easier because we've already got the set painted like a steakhouse that if we could actually have a

Steakhouse sponsor. It would just be more convenient. So look if you work at a steakhouse or you run one or own one and you know you want to be Affiliated with your mom's house. Just send us an email your mom's podcast at gmail.com And make sure you put steakhouse in the subject line This way there's no misunderstand no misunderstanding and also you may want to watch the show before you sign up to be our sponsor Yeah, do do a google search for uncle terry ymh before you pull the trigger because you know what? We're not going to stop doing what we do on this show. No, of course not for a gd sponsor, tom No, no, we're not we're not we have integrity. That's right

And we're gonna do the show the way we want it and we lost millions of dollars Because of the kind of show we do but you know what? Forget it. The fans are more important to me keeping the show with integrity and doing what we like is more important to me than any Kind of sponsorship. I agree. Just so you know guys. I agree We're gonna keep it real So something else happened and and like and look we appreciate the time we were with with mortons too So we just tell them that couple grand and I'll still say they they make a great Uh steak, you know, I will you still eat at mortons? Wait, are we banned from mortons?

Are we allowed to think we're banned because all I all I saw I mean unless there's a follow-up coming Was just that the relationship with the show is over. Gotcha But we're still allowed on the press not like mcdonald's where we're not even Southern california. Well, I had a hankering for a cheeseburger the other day and I had to second I can give it a second thought before I tried going through the drive-thru because I don't want to get banned Recognized with my children. Yeah, you know how that it goes Um, so something magical happened. Yeah, I know you're you've been itching to talk about this guy This is really cool

so Wow, do you know that like haley's comet? Yep Comes yeah like once every I don't know 75 or something like that. Sure. Sure. Sure. There Comes a time. Yeah in one's life where one can see something or someone that gives a dose

Of like natural adrenaline. There's an excitement. It's you know what it's like. Yeah, it's like when you're watched Back in the day american idol. Yeah, and then everybody it shows all the people who can't hit notes And then someone comes in like I don't know kelly clarkson or somebody and you're like, whoa Star of the show you it's like you recognize star Quality or you see that someone's special. It's like the first time I saw gg allen Yes, and you're like this guy's a star. Yeah, they have that charisma. They have something unique. It's very rare I mean, you know, we've been in comedy For a long time now and you know rarely. Do you see someone hit the stage where you're like? Wow, right? That's special

So this young man hit the I can't even look he's so his star quality is so bright Yeah, you know you can't look directly. It's like there's a new social media star Yeah, and for for whatever reason he was discovered. I would say even though he's been around he was discovered Over the weekend people found his posts his videos. Yeah, and I was like is this real And there's there's just so much going on with him Um, I don't even know if I can set it up correctly other than like Why don't you just dip your toe in the water and see what's what's what here with this guy? I can tell you visually Visually already. I am blown away. Yeah

No, he's got his guy his own unique style. I mean like sure this beard Is is like like no other beard I've ever seen he's got He's got the thin line the the Puerto Rican Yeah, but but that's just in the goatee, but then he's got a beard separate from it and is it has its own Designs and then he's got the shaved head diamond earrings beards on beards on beards on beards. Go ahead eyebrows. It's been a while, hasn't it? I decided to make a video. Okay, since I'm stuck on the 405 On my way to Santa Monica. I think the topic of this video will be something a little more personal Let's talk about why badass good-looking rich guys don't have girlfriends like me

Why is it that girls will date a guy that has half my wallet half my dick half my car Half my bank half my personality half my looks half my wardrobe half my sexual prowess, but they'll Pass up a guy like me Who's fun good looking interesting edgy educated and wants to be a dad? Let's talk about that I like his teeth great beautiful teeth. Oh the dude is like I mean looks great great teeth

Look at those eyelashes. Look at the brows or a fleek the fuck out. Oh, yeah, man. He's got like it looks like a This is one of his vehicles Lots of stickers on the stickers on it. They tell you I'm an individual. I like things other people don't like Yeah, it's like a pickup truck, but you could tell he's got like, um, you know, like he's got modified exhaust on it There's just there's a lot Going on now. This is an interesting premise. I want to know before he's gonna give the answer. Why do you think? I see no flags. I don't know what the problem is But some like why do some women not want to date a guy who's got the money right the dick the brows

The car that wants to be like, you know what it is tom some people's star shines too brightly for that's actually true Yeah, a lot of people can't handle a star. A lot of people can't handle it I mean some people can't can't handle being around success. That's absolutely true. They're intimidating. They're called haters Tom And I think a lot of women out there Maybe aren't seeing this guy's potential and maybe he needs to convince you Maybe he needs to explain it to people. You might be honest. I'm here. Let's let's keep going as you get older You understand it's actually a compliment

Why a guy like me is single and then I look around and guys that have big ass bellies or You know buy all their shoes that kmart have girlfriends. Why do they have girlfriends? Or why don't I If you look too good and you got it going on women are mother fucking hating cunts They don't like to see you ball. Yeah, see my theory exactly. Yep. They don't like to see you ball They don't like to see you succeed. They don't like you looking better than them. They don't want you being desirable Right because that's gonna make them Vulnerable to you leaving their bitch ass Yep

You hit the gym You balling some fat ass nikes or jordans and you dress cool And you ain't got a girl Homie, it's a compliment to you. That means these bitches can't step up to your level Yeah, just to get it truth knowledge is kind of insight, you know, that's what i'm looking for women are mother Fucking hating cunts. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah, so stupid, huh? It's so fucking dumb. It's true. Yeah What do you think it's true? What he's saying that the they're not smart enough to see what he's got to offer

I think that I think he's on to something with With the fact that there's definitely some haters out there. Yeah, and that when they when Men or women see somebody who's really got it going on like this guy, right that they'll be like I'm all what bro Fuck i'm faded homie. That mean it's true though, right? Absolutely. I think women are intimidated sometimes and you know We have to see we have to and they're intimidated deeper. Let's see what he's what does he have to offer

Well, I mean the in this case this dude's got a lot to offer I don't take it personally. Look I still fuck a lot, but Those girls that fuck me they're afraid to be with me But they'll run back and be with a little boy who doesn't even have a car and lives with his grandma Now how does that make sense? Right and like I said women are internally very jealous creatures They're very insecure. They constantly measure themselves And they're even competing with you as their boyfriend as their husband as their man. That's basically what's up So you guys out there. It was a pleasure, man. Until next time. Bye. Bye. So so he's saying it's the competitive nature in women

That that's why he can't have a relationship. I think he's making an interesting point, right? I think you're right I think he's also saying that you know in most let's say traditional relationships um, you find that In a lot of cases in the traditional relationship the man goes concedes that the woman is the star so to speak She's the looker. She's you know, put the attention on her. He's saying I got a little too much going on Be the one that shines You can shine too, but don't think you're gonna outshine me, right? And he but he's also saying yeah that the woman is competitive

and and and wants to Take that star from him. Yeah, exactly. I mean You know, I don't want there to be any confusion. This is not the cool guy club Oh, this is not the cool guy club. This is the a different what club is this? I think this is the rich guy club. Oh The baller club. Yeah, we're like you're genuinely this guy's a superstar. Yeah, I mean, there's more that's what I'd like to hear What he has to say. I mean, look, I hope there's someone out there worthy of him. Yeah, there's there's definitely more stuff. Um, he Put out, um, let's see. Oh, he did an instagram live So so just so you know, he puts a lot of his stuff on instagram. Okay. Oh boy, and he has um

He has like He's got a lot going on according to him because he's got such a look happening He's got a lot going on. So let me tell you first of all Listen a lot of money and a lot of money. He's lots of houses and he's told us I got a lot of money. I got a lot of houses. I got a lot of cars. I got a private chef You have millions of dollars in the bank Right I do I hear I don't mean to look. He is fabulous. Yeah

I'm I like that and we're gonna watch another clip of him. He's toned down the facial hair Right because that is from a few years ago. Oh, okay. So this is Updated he got a new hat. Okay. He's got some jewelry, which I Honestly, it made me regret canceling my jewelry order Really remember I I bought that I ordered that chain right and I think it was Pete Holmes made me feel very insecure about the order Well, it's it can not it's not a great investment piece. Yeah, but it's about shining. It's about you know Yeah, the resale is not very good. Yeah, but I'm not gonna sell it. It's about letting people know what time it is

I let him know and and so Anyways, this guy's definitely letting people know this guy's a peacock. He's definitely a peacocker, you know Letting everybody see his plumage and not everybody's worthy Yeah, okay. Let's hear what he has to say. It's pretty cool We got in here not even 400 man the artwork That wasn't 30 dollars, but thank you. This is one piece of artwork I mean y'all don't want to comment on the fact that i'm sitting in a thousand dollar

Custom movie theater chair and I have five of them I mean retarded man. There's all these people under 35 What's wrong with you guys? Why are you so angry? Bitter was it 9 11? You guys felt robbed of your youth. Was it columbine? Was it all these mass shootings that you guys got terror struck in you from your media and mom and dad and what the fuck I was socially conscious too. I like that. He's aware of these social issues contributing to today's That's true. You can use the artwork, but he did use the r-word and I don't appreciate that That's very offensive. Yeah, I was happy when people got rich

I'm still happy when people get rich on a game show or from winning the lottery or from winning american idol Or from success or a comeback like my god This is just the retardation Of your generation Somebody just you know, this is from a live thing he did on instagram And just for you have to watch this guy on youtube by the way if you're not watching this on youtube Yeah, yeah, you gotta see this. He's amazing. Somebody just wrote your fat. Yeah Do you get micro bladed brows somebody wrote

I'm fake flexing. Huh? That's all you got to say. I'm fake flexing. I'm a fraud Right if I was a fraud Where's my go for me page like all that y'all have acting like you have cancer or trying to get money for your mom I'm fake Yeah, I mean, but look at those chains though lots of chains. You don't like those. How many does he have? No, those are beautiful chains. I mean look at that outside one the outside. Sure. Yeah, the cuban one there It's very nice. Uh, you know what I like most is he's got a bedazzled hat on Do you see it's like a cheetah pattern or whatever?

And then he's got some sparkle on and there's stones that with real gems in there. Yeah. Yeah, I saw a separate post where he talked about it Oh, okay. He spares no expense. Oh this guy. I mean money just falls out of his pocket. Sure. Yeah Yeah, I mean he just Dude, he goes like private chefs Yeah, uh, probably private planes Definitely Homes multiple homes Tons of cars jewelry bedazzled hats

Yeah, I like him. Yeah, let's what else is he's talking about. Uh, let's see. Is there is there any other from this? That's it for this, uh That's it for this live stream that we ripped But we have another 20 minutes that we will have prepped for next week. Great that I think only we might have access to Yeah, but we also have some screenshots in another video. I don't know if you want to save it for later and go through some of that Oh, let's go. Let's go. Yeah. No, I want to I'm in. Tom is enthralled like this guy Please show me. This is all we've been talking about in our home. What's this guy's name? Hardrock nick hardrock nick. Yeah Yeah, yeah, every now and then just a diamond comes along. Yeah, there's like Here's just to like give you more insight. Okay, so

Why don't you read read the caption? This is his caption for this I don't know if I can get past the image This is a lovely Selfie. It's a son. Do you see that you see the chain? I want I see the chains, Tom I see the multiple chains by the way by the way since we're putting it out there. We're discussing we're looking 40th birthday is coming up. Yeah chains He's got he got outside one the thick one. I see it, Tom. Hey, I will you turn 40 once gotcha How many how much money do you think that is? I mean for him? I'm sure it's nothing I'm assuming that's

I don't know if we get another steakhouse sponsor the answer. Yes, then I can get the chain you can get the chain Ah, that'd be awesome. Um, he's got he's got an eye his eyebrows are very fleeked. He looks like a genie, doesn't he? Yeah, his eyebrows are amazing. He looks like a and his lips are kind of He's doing duck lips for the well, I think that's natural. I don't think he's doing it. Oh Okay, he doesn't need fillers. Can you please read his caption? Okay. This is what he writes Once you've dated me it's mathematically impossible to do better than me in selecting another mate After breakups my exes have endured the likes of terminal brain cancer and in parentheses He writes no bullshit

Suicide by lethal injection decades of psychotherapy Prison time or in other milder examples have become gay or settled for men Who in some way or another reminded said x of me you will never do better than me hashtag. I said never wow Yeah, 22 likes on this one Hard rock neck. Whoo. Yeah, so women go crazy after they break up with him. It sounds like you know It's also nice or he drives them to suicide when you know how When you do comedy, yeah, especially when you start You write a bio. Yeah, that's bullshit

But I mean, yeah, you have to kind of summarize your story Yeah, this caption summarizes says why don't you go ahead and give it a read? Sure. So this is his bio Born in Las Vegas, Nevada grew up in Manhattan Beach, California Graduated from UC Berkeley on my 12th Mercedes Benz. Okay, that's just Throne in stats. Here's his other stats houses in Irvine Cove Del Mar San Francisco, West Hollywood, Las Vegas, of course He writes in parentheses Dallas, Texas and Tokyo, Japan Over 30 000 dollars worth of tattoos on my body. Okay, usually shop at bristol farms Yeah

Gelsons or Whole Foods Market. This is like Brody Stevens like when he lists where he shops and stuff Oh, this is the best he averages one amazon package a week Okay, that's down from two a week this time last year. Oh Worth a good 350 million dollars not counting the house I live in Wow prefer eating pussy from the back Okay Love and I mean love getting my dick sucked Almost 300 pounds, but carry it like I'm 210 pounds

Alexa the shit out of my house San Francisco 49er fan could live on sushi and parentheses. Sometimes I do Excelled at tennis and soccer in my youth and could have easily turned pro easily Have fucked everyone in the porn business that I wanted to Hate cigarettes fake tits fake eyelash extensions and anyone who was stingy with cheese on my food in general Donated 500 000 dollars to the trump slash pence campaign in 2016 think that's good enough for now. Don't you? Wow I mean listen this guy averages one amazon package a week

That part blew me away. He shops on the regular at bristol farms gilsons or Whole Foods That means You know organic money healthy money. He's all fuck trader joes, dude. I don't fuck what traders 300 pounds Carries it like he's 210 but he looks 210. Yeah, I believe it. He looks great Here's his other caption ladies. I promise that having a fine-ass boyfriend like me will literally make you come the second I tap my dick on the I can't finish this. Thanks I mean, I'll finish it for you That will literally make you come the second

I tap my dick on the edges of your pussy lips before insertion hashtag every fucking time Jesus christ It's a little intense, but that look is intense. Look at the he looks like a gauging. Look at look. Yeah He'll fuck you. He's gonna fuck. That's a look that says i'm gonna fuck you. Yeah I wish we could do your eyebrows microbladed like this guy. I know babe Wow, I really like it. Oh Oh boy, I love when people take selfies on themselves in bed. It's so sexy and so romantic You know, they're like, I'm just laying here. I posted my own like that this weekend and inspired me lips first

Oh The beard this is Caption is any fine-ass white girls with tons of ass and hips who can handle an 11 inch dick When I come over tonight DM me 11 inches. Wow God, I didn't know about this. This was new to me And he's worth 350 million dollars. I mean, this is just building and building. Why is this guy single? Well, that's the thing. It's got to be the haters. I'm thinking it's got to be the haters. It's got to be the haters This guy is great. This guy has everything. I gotta set him up with my step sister

What's this say gene? This says told my private chef to make protein style cheeseburgers and hold the fries for my lunch today Because my new girlfriend is 18 and still in high school Whoa Hashtag He's so rich. Oh my god. That's really Looks really gourmet. It looks a little like in and out, but I'm sure it's not in and out. No, that's uh protein style I had you having a private chef. I know he's so lucky. I wish I'd have awesome. Yeah, this guy's rad. Oh shit

How a man with 75 million dollar cash in the bank eats breakfast on the daily wait I thought he had 350 million. No, that was his net worth. Oh, maybe you don't understand numbers. I don't But that's the value of what he's worth. This is cash value. Wow Liquid liquid this guy. So what is a 75 million in cash eat for breakfast? I see an omelet Yeah, looks like english muffin side of fruit bowl. What's on the left plate there? What is that? It looks like some zucchini smashed on. I don't know This guy's really crazy ball. Yeah, you guys got to do a deep dive on this guy. Yeah hard rock nick on instagram Hard rock nick yourself a favor just the way it sounds. Okay, and then we pulled some uh

I can't do it. This is some some stuff from his facebook because this dude is just He's just he's just blowing everybody away on facebook. He is nicolas n i c h o l a s rock joe hansen j o h a n n s e n Uh, this has a photo of a lovely lady who is leaning over the sink like looking in the mirror She does her makeup and she has quite a rear end and hard rock nick posted ladies if you have an ass like this and are a pure white american-born female in parentheses not mixed with mexican or israelian shit

Okay Have light eyes and a career and will let me put my face in it every time you bend over the sink to do your makeup get at me That's quite an offer. Wow You know you kind of fit a lot. I know i'm thinking I mean if he's into I don't might be too old for it. Oh, you're definitely too old. Do you the fuck do you think you are? You think you're worthy of that shit? I'm definitely not worthy of hard rock nick this though. I would like you to read Okay, here we go guys here. He posted if anybody listening is interested in dating this guy

He's got 10 turnoffs and a woman in order Wait 10 turnoffs and a woman in order of level of turn-offedness So guys women if you're listening and you're into hard rock nick here's the 10 things he does not like number one Oh my god Why don't we start with 10? Let's start with 10. Okay Won't shop slash eat slash do yoga anywhere unless she has a coupon slash group on magazine clipping for it lol

So he doesn't want you to be cheap. You can't be cheap. Number nine has a child from a previous man. Oh, there it goes I know you're out already eight has visible facial hair even peach fuzz with three exclamation marks So you better get that shit lasered off lasered. He likes some hairless Number seven prudish sexually number six never says thank you. I understand that one I get it. He has a lot to offer. Yeah, number five wears perfume from walmart or tj max, etc Okay, four wears too much makeup. Okay big turnoff three vegetarian Okay, well, he's very health conscious if you look at him in his diet. Yeah. Yeah He's he keeps it lean and he keeps it

Carries it like he's 210 carries it like he's 210 Smoker of any kind is number two and number one non Caucasian is his big turnoff That's the most turned off he can A non Caucasian Huh, so I know there's a lot of tears streaming down a lot of faces right now People listening people watching being like what well no wonder you can't find love. This is quite a tight list I mean, you know, we kind of I don't want to be the type of person They would assume they can give hard rock nick any advice

But we did watch a lot of millionaire matchmakers. Yeah, and I she was always against the people with lists She said you can't go in to love that way. I agree and he's talking about being single But he's got these lists, but at least he knows what makes Uh his peanut heart. Yeah, and it starts with white white Watt power. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I don't know if he's white though. I don't think he can I don't think he is like full I don't think he can claim like he he's wanting you mean pure Well, whatever. Yeah, like I don't think he himself is pure Caucasian If I'm a betting lady, I would go

Native, do you think even maybe your tribe or persian? Here's a back. Yeah. I mean, I watched the live stream He said very aggressively that he is neither persian or jewish bullshit Well, well, he's from la, right? He's la native. I'm gonna go persian on I don't know. Hell yeah, he's making a point to say or no dude Armenian Um, he might be Armenian man. Do you realize if he's not what you're doing right now? You're really upsetting hard rock. I'm gonna go Armenian actually. I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so. Okay I just I know this type dude. This is this is definitely LA guy

um Two selfies for the best followers in the world. Happy friday. Hashtag that cock bulge though. Oh my god This guy is just what's 11 inches. He's got a lot of tats too. Uh, okay This is a photo of some things he picked up at the grocery store. I'm done Uh, he wants everything To smell great. He got uh, he got mouthwash. He got gain and glade And he said I choose as I put those glade cones in my walk-in closet the mouthwash is for my guest bathrooms Hashtag thick bitches only

Okay, I mean it really is a gift that never Has no he's really amazing. I really hope he picks up the posts because his followers are picking up Oh my gosh This is a a bottle of balsamic vinegar And he said I told my private chef that I want to price a salad for dinner night He told me to pick up some expensive balsamic vinegar, which I just did exclamation mark Personally, I would have this chef pick it up. I get it I would too or instacart like if you're that rich instacart that yeah, but he probably

Wants to look at it. Hold up. You know nobody's getting sure. All right. Hey. Yeah. Oh shit I love fresh harballed eggs sprinkle with salt and pepper for a high protein snack before my chef makes dinner All right. That's really cool, man Um, there's a lot more. Hmm. I kind of want to save some of hard rock. Yeah, he's special No, uh, I actually want to watch one of these videos with one of our guests. So I'm going to save it for just a little bit later Um In a moment We're gonna have our friend come in here and talk to us. Oh, yeah

About a couple of things because we need we need to sit down with him You know, you better check your weight privilege. Tom. I will check my weight privilege. Have you heard that? That's the latest form of privilege. Yes I saw it on twitter. There's weight privilege now. I know because of fat people like burt, but anyways We'll be back to talking about farts and dicks after this quick break And we're back. We are back in studio With a dear friend a great comedian Um, somebody who greatly helps out this show does a lot of producing for us. So director director

It's josh potter everybody Hey, hey, hey Ladies love them. Yeah, so this weekend make them all wet in the face All those tears streaming down, um We had a good time that was fun this weekend. It was a fun weekend. Um bus life, baby bus life tour bus champ I heard about the gang bang bus you guys Just played so many crying chicks There's there's just believe me. There's dna all over that. So joey. Are you scoring checks on the bang bus or what?

All day make that hit rock Yeah, all damn day for sure. Line them up by the way. They got them stacked. That's right. We got Bunks for different hoes. Yeah, um Did you expect I did not expect I have not I've lived in LA a long time now long beach was the Shit that was so dope. Yeah, it doesn't even seem like LA. It's so like it seems far away Yeah, but it's not it's right there. It was Unbelievable a lot of sluts there. There was just a lot of everything and the crowd was fucking bonkers Yeah, there's a reason warren g's

Shilling in the lbc snoop dog snoop dogs in the lbc. Yeah, yeah bros Yeah, uh, but more importantly josh, we were talking about you this weekend. Yeah, you're funny. You're lovable. We adore you Uh, but we don't know how you stay alive And tom and I have come to the conclusion that you might be a human cockroach Well, let's go through the let's go through the list. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah Yeah, could you spend a lot of time with me this weekend? Yeah, and I've spent a lot of time over the years over the years Okay, okay. Let's go human doesn't human cockroach. Yes doesn't really eat never near like we have to force you to eat Yeah, and like I've taken you out to these nice restaurants. Yeah, and you'll sometimes be like

I'll have the like something and I'll be like and he's gonna have an appetizer and he's gonna like I'll make you order things Oh, I will you order lunch here and last week everyone is ordering full meals and he's like I'll have a cup of soup Yeah, you're not gonna like what I ordered today. Yeah, what did you get today? I got the soup of the day. That's it. Yeah, and that's it Yeah, you know, you got I don't want to bog myself down with some food. Yeah Yeah, what did you eat? What have you eaten so far today? Nothing? Okay, that'll be my first it's noon Yeah, it's early cockroach cockroach. Okay, and I approach eating. Okay the food. Yeah, yeah incapable of regulating his body temperature He has like a near Psychotic person's body. I think the only guy I've ever met who is this far off

I mean most guys are like You know, I prefer guys will be like I like a little cooler Because you don't really get bothered by the cold, but you will wear a jacket if it's cold outside Oh, yeah snowing this guy. Yeah. Oh, I've never met anybody like him. It'll be like 37 He's like, oh got hot. I'm like, what are you talking about? He's like, you're not hot. I'm like, no, no one's hot here We go into the airport stripping off his layers. Yeah walking on in a t-shirt on the jet crazy person

Total crazy crazy dude back stage ports are fucked. We were at a gig where they were it was like downstairs cavernous old theater And the guy the guy was wearing a parka that you would go like to hike mount everest and he was like Sorry, they didn't turn the uh the heat on and and josh was like it feels great It doesn't feel great. I had a t-shirt on. How are you? How are you burning off any energy because you're not eating so that you're not you just have a high metabolism It feels I guess I I don't think I was from buffalo. Yeah, that's true. I'm from the cold I was born in the cold. Okay. Wait. Tell her. I didn't even tell her this. Well, go ahead. Tell her the shower thing

The shower thing you told me. Oh, I take cold showers. What? But what do you do? But you're like and you I end every shower by Cranking the heat off and just letting the cold water. That's my nightmare. That is my night. How long do you do it for? How long as I can tolerate it? No, why? Why are you punishing yourself? Well, it's not a punishment It's like an invigoration thing feels good. It's time to close the shower down So let's crank up the cold water and just oh my god. That is my nightmare That is my fucking nightmare shower with josh potter. We've determined that like if we did the road together I would murder you from being hot all the time. Oh my god

You wouldn't be able to tolerate our bedroom. Oh my god. I couldn't imagine that I sleep on top of sheets Right. I mean, but you you're the bed would just be uh pool. Okay. Okay. Well, let's let's get back to Let's get back to josh potter. Okay the smoking of cigarettes. Yeah smokes all the time. How many how many cigarettes are we on now this week? I mean every day for a day per day today. I smoke two only. I mean, I don't smoke that much If I could smoke weed perpetually, I would just do that. Okay. They're just a supplement, you know Supplement for weed. Yeah, pretty much the smoking. I was talking about the red bull I always see you sucking down down the red bull. How many other thing keeps me focused Keeps you focused. So that's sugar and caffeine and then sugar free

And then and then sleep. I don't know what you're doing for that. I don't either Okay, I don't that's I mean I'm bad at it. Yeah, I don't get a lot of it. Right So you're a cockroach. So I guess so. Yeah, that's when do you sleep? Let's walk me through the night It depends on the night. Uh during the the road I uh, I got a couple hours on the bus, you know But the bus is not people say it's like the best sleep you ever have Because it's rocking and I guess I don't know but it's still a moving car Yeah, but what about we forgot about the last one?

Well, he can't come. Oh, well, yeah, he's a cockroach. Maybe that all all those ingredients together Maybe all these things combined you're right is it maybe contributing to your sexual Problems we thought with the body temperature thing that the heat is just keeping my come in my body could be So maybe that's it I am a hairy guy Probably more hairy than tom and you think the hair keeps you warm. Yes. Okay, and my blood is thick Okay, and I just like being cold you like being cold. Yes more than being hot by a mile Really, that's my that's my nightmare. You and I are complete opposites like being cold. Yes

It feels good to be cold as opposed to being hot, of course Now hot is sweating. I like I feel better. So you but you spoke with dr. Drew. You've never hurt somebody When I get hot I really get like I want to jump out of my fucking skin. Yeah, it really bothers me Yeah, that's how I feel cold. I get angry. I'm upset that I have the I'm suffering the indignity of being cold When there's other options for me. I don't need to feel this way right now I don't know why when you're hot. You don't feel alive. I don't know you feel like I I hate I hate feeling hot too Yeah, I hate feeling hot Um

But wait, so you talked to dr. Drew. Yes about your ejaculation thing So for those of us that aren't familiar walk us through your problem. Uh, well, I can function sexually except for the punctuation point which is finishing Without the aid of myself So you're saying you have to hand manipulate. Yes. And for those who are saying that I might be gay I wish it was that fucking I wish that was the answer that it was this a guy that yeah, if I if it was just that I was gay

I would just be like, yeah, I'm gay and I would just fuck dudes and I would probably come all the time Maybe you should try it. No, I mean If I could get a boner from a dude, I would definitely go down. You're with these girls just so people know you you're you know You like women you're you're you're getting with women and then that you just can't finish right you need to finish But maybe manually we need so you go you go watch this and then you put on a show for them Yes, it depends how they want to get involved, you know, sometimes you're like here here Wait a minute, but maybe that's his is this a kink. No, I would prefer to just jizz inside or right and what a dr. Drew Feels better. Uh, he has you know, it's gonna take a little bit of

Communicating more and things like that. I think we determine that Uh, a nice prescription for a smoke show is in order just to test it out. What's that mean? A fucking hottie. Yeah, we need a real bang in pigs. Is that the sometimes, you know here in there, but let's let's put the call out I'm gonna open there's a lot of weight privilege. There's there's a lot of There's a lot of listeners out there and viewers. Yeah, let's put the call out help josh come Yeah, he he needs your help And if you need to come sponsor like a telethon. Yeah, it's like look this nice guy All right doesn't sleep much takes cold showers doesn't eat much

Doesn't sleep much he's gonna he's gonna take it and you'll take them out you show them. Yeah Yeah So let's get a little like just a really if you're willing and able reach out This is a boy that just needs your help. Yes. Yeah. Help him out. Let him try. I just need a smoke show Now would you you'd be willing to date somebody in the entertainment adult entertainment industry? Yes, you said that to us behind clothes or hey, I actually would prefer to date a girl who's done porn I mean prefer I mean, sure. I guess I can go that way prefer

I've never I've never done it. So I don't know for curious. I am curious. I think I could handle it For just froze for just four strokes a day. You can help It's something that you know, we want this to happen Yes, for sure. I want it to happen for my whole life. So I mean, okay, I'm if this doesn't work then, you know, we might have to Consider other medical options. Really? Maybe I mean if this doesn't work I don't know else or we'll have to take it to the next level. We'll have to ask dr. Drew what that is You know, I hope I really do hope a really hot woman reaches out She's like, I'll go out with them and then we can test this theory. Yeah, it really just takes someone who's a gamer

And just wants to come on. It's a comic fight through it. Oh before we forget. Let's talk about Just what's your what's your show coming up? Oh march 22nd improv lab here in hollywood Tickets in my bio on my Instagram and on my twitter if you want to scoop them up and what's the uh, what's your what's the handle for your Oh at j underscore potter is my Twitter and josh underscore potter is my instagram. Some asshole fucking took the other one. There you go and listen He's hilarious. There's a reason I've taken him Uh on the road everywhere. We learned another reason. I think well now that I'm an employee. Yeah

What what do you think my value is like let's say if I died on the road Okay, what do you mean? What do you think like you could get for me like life insurance? I don't know if oh life insurance policy on you a lot of expense, you know Well, we discussed a thing go remember that tracy morgan was in this horrific. Yeah bus accident I remember and uh, he lost he lost his Friend and he was injured and walmart settled for just Huge amount because of his potential earnings. So I was fantasizing about That yeah, like we were going through a snowy pass to get to rena and I said, hey man

We might get some of that tracy morgan Yeah, and and you guys were thinking like how much does josh potter work? Well, I'd be the one that dies Yeah, he of course has to die But what I uh what I was thinking was like is that it would be kind of like funny if we were in this bus accident And that he's just a little hurt like he's like, uh My arm I think I might have broken my arm and then I'm like, well, I got to get this money So then I I take a crowbar and I just start

beating And he's like, it's just my arm. I'm like laying there under a piece of you know part of the bus falls on me And I'm like, Tom, please Just lift this and I can be free and Tom's like It's too far you're too hurt He's like, it's just my arm is broken. Then he's like, shut up Snashes my stuff starts beating him and then he's on the phone with you or something. He's like, I'm fine. Christina. Josh is too hurt He's mortally injured. I have to finish him off

I'll be like, Christina, it's my arm, please And then the cops show up and they're like, what happened? And I'm like, well, he went flying They're like, well, it looks like he has like blunt force trauma in the head. I'm like, yeah Man, all this shit was The crowbar went flying and bounced off his head six times And you know, it was weird. It was a lot It's all a blur

You got to run this past your therapist and then they're like, Tom, you got mental problems Yeah, yeah, Tom deserves a big check. He had to go through this horrible experience Uh, give him a hundred million dollars. I'll be like, uh, I miss Josh As he got his shoes, Christ Oh man, you guys really got a good gig a lot of that You'd get some money from it too Yeah, I know why you're dead And they're like, why is his but his skull's bashed

It's really consistent with uh, some foul play here Yeah, man, you know how the snow is I check with the driver. Yeah Yeah, you might know more You guys really had a good time on this trip, huh? I was talking about ways to kill josh A poor potter. Yeah I hope you die next time That was a lot of fun, man, and uh, please eat something. Yeah, thanks for having me. I'm gonna have some soup. I'm pretty pumped about it Jesus. Yeah, let's go get let's go get our lunch. Yeah, we'll be back

Your mom's house will be right back And we're back and this is a real treat people did not know we didn't tease us didn't let people know Secrets we are joined by Detroit's own Danny Brown Hey, thank you for being here. Thank you guys for having me dude. This was like a such a trip when I first You and I uh DM'd a while ago. I think it was that Somebody tip me off that I think you had mentioned Uh our podcast maybe in an interview or something When it's like are you a big podcast fan? I mean, I guess in like the last few years

I guess when you make so much music the last thing you want to do is Listen to music. Yeah in some sense of like that makes sense. So when podcasts like a big deal for it You know, like it's something I could just put on. Yeah, especially with long flights. I think that was the big deal for sure Like, um, here's the deal man When you were a long flight from Australia, you know what I'm saying for sure You could definitely knock out a few episodes and you know, but you know, you know, you're home So that's podcast is definitely a big deal for me on long flights. Yeah, it's a game changer, right? Especially like either getting like a really cool conversation

Except one time I was listening to one like some worse. I don't know how even got up on that shit But I listened to a war podcast and they were talking about the nuclear wars and all that type of shit That's type of shit you don't want to listen to If you eat an edible before a flight and you start listening to something like that, you're like, oh man My anxiety is going through the roof. I really love edibles, but I learned that I can't take them on flights Last time I took an edible. I was pushed a button Really? I don't know why I just kept looking at the button

I think I want to push this shit I don't know what's going to happen, but my heart's beating fast. I'm sweating. I think I need to push the button I think I need to push the button. The last flight I took it on was was a flight to Australia And that's a fucking long flight. So you have the anxiety and then you're like, you're like, I'm gonna come down This will be all right. And then they're like, uh, there's 11 more hours. You're like, oh, shit Like it's just it it just fucks Why would you do that to yourself? I I can't even take drugs in public I feel like it's too fucked up for me. Like I have to just be alone

I know you're not supposed to do drugs alone, but that's probably No, I think that's the best way to go because I embarrass myself in front of people. Yeah Yeah, but I like doing like long flights like that. I try to break them up like if I go to australia I try to come here for a few days then go to hawaii for a few days then go to australia, but Oh, that's the way to do it. Yeah, just break it up. Yeah, but um, I mean zenex Yeah People if you don't know this that you're a big mommy. Yes. Yes. Oh, I'm so excited You came in talking about butt plug cuss

The new guy to the cool guy club His name Uncle terry is butt plug cuss That is the best He is nasty So nasty. So nasty. What do you like best about butt plug cuss? I don't like anything about him I guess if it was somebody have to pick anything I guess you know in his day and age, you know, it's hard to be yourself He's a motherfucker. That's just embracing

You know what I'm saying? So I guess I really gotta like that about him. That's true out there Now have you seen him? Do you watch our show or have you seen him like in real life? No, like do you watch the show on youtube? Okay, so you've seen his clips. Yeah, you've seen it. Yeah, I actually seen last time you guys had like a A retro one like this motherfucker been doing this for 20 years. Yes Yes Like what the fuck is going on and that's what let's you know that a person is real comfortable in their life Yeah, like yeah, I wonder what's his like real job

Yeah, I start to wonder about like what is personal life about that you would do this on youtube or whatever That you could just do this like no no one ever finds out. Do you tell people what they're like? What do you do? Dude, I wonder that all the time with these clips when you go Didn't somebody like at at the bank today be like yeah terry But I guess if you run across this shit, then you got some problems too. You give it. I'm saying but Because at least like throat zilla Yeah, wouldn't like didn't she kind of have by the way we didn't even I didn't even tell you this you got head from throat So I wish I got head from throat zilla throat zilla came to my dial to show and I just saw it on twitter

She was like i'm finally here and she took a picture and posted it and I was like hi throat zilla But she didn't you know, I didn't get to see her A lot of bomber. Yeah, but she worked at a bank. I used to follow her on snapchat. Yeah That's a good follow right? The content really has great content she does man I always loved the uh, the juxtaposition of her her skills and then she was like i'm gonna get gas She's taking the whole family to the buffet No throat zilla as again somebody very comfortable with herself, you know

That and I saw a recent one you guys and it left me in tears the one this motherfucker them brought a dead raccoon My god Yeah, that shit had me crying. Yeah, that shit was crazy. Well, we don't like to talk about McDaniels, but I know but that motherfucker had a dead raccoon. He sure did And in san francisco, which was the most like intriguing part of it. That's the craziest part because I would have thought that would have been like I want this gotta be like an intro for my next album Fuck Yeah, for sure. And then there's also some psycho who's bringing in fucking dead raccoons. I mean, yeah, but um

We eat cool and everything's given really like a Midwest. Yeah, no Wait, are you for real? Yeah, how do you prepare it? I don't know my aunt does it But it's cool. They just call it cool. You want some of the cool and they take the skin off? Are you Is it good you like it, I mean, I guess it's a hood delicacy Yeah, I imagine it's kind of greasy. I know they definitely know it's pretty dry out dry. Yeah, like tough like You know, you fry chicken too hard almost. Yeah. Okay. There's some uh, they do raccoon hunting in florida In florida. Well florida eat everything you guys eat fucking crocodiles and rats guys

We used to go to the gropes and they'd be like, we're in coon hunting and just go they shine a light because they kind of How they're cute though. It's not bad. It's not bad. Just affect the way the motherfucker be on the table though It's like that's really a wild Man by the way you uh You definitely lived my dream in that you fucking made it as a rapper. I think that's the coolest thing ever It took a long time When did you start I never learned how to rap. Yeah, you always say that that was yeah It was the weirdest shit. Well, I mean, I tell you I've read the story prior a thousand times

but the first time I ever rapped was um in kindergarten. I said kindergarten. I was in kindergarten and um We was showing tail, but I didn't know and I didn't have nothing to show or tail So I just like fuck it and I just said a little rap in front of the class It didn't once I finished the class like Crapped and stood up and then the teacher was all like, you know, she she really encouraged it A lot of anytime we would have like some type of school play or something. She'd like rap Rap always putting me in shit to make me rap. So I guess that they started with that Then I remember after that getting the confidence from the school. I rap for my cousin

He's like an older cousin, you know, he listened to a lot of rap music and shit So I rapped to him and then a look on his face after I was finished He's like you didn't write that like he just had a weird. Oh, really? I'm like, oh, I got something here. So yeah What was your first rhyme like what what was your kindergarten? Yeah, but it was always, you know, oh, you got things like the 80s. So it was that whole my name is D In the place to be yeah, I rock the mic. So fresh is Lee You know, let's say close to what I say this type of shit happen every day like You know, it wasn't like no real miracle miracle shit, you know, that's how I would right now

I bought a book. This is I bought a book When I was in like fifth grade, maybe fourth grade And it was like Uh explain hip-hop Oh, wow one of those. Yeah, and it was like had like run DMC on it. It was like deaf means Yeah, you know, it's like all the slayers. Oh, yeah, and I was like, oh and I would like sit with it and be like, you don't even know what that means Oh, wow And that's so weird because every place like in America like everybody has like slang

But it could be like words that mean different shit, but it's the same word in different places. Yeah. Yeah. So that's pretty weird Yeah, it is What's the what's the latest Detroit slang? I mean to be honest with you I live in Detroit my whole life, but I've been in the suburbs probably like the last 10 years I don't know what the fuck is going on in Detroit. Every time I pop up is like a new big-ass underarmor store somewhere Like What the fuck we need this big-ass underarmor store? Detroit's kind of blowing up though. I know it's change. Like I say I go down there

I go downtown or I go down to the city and it's like what the fuck is going on because I have a studio still in the city Yeah, I have to go do some work. I'm going in June. I hope you're there. Yeah. Yeah. I should be all right But I definitely will be starting to work, but I should be home Um, yeah last time I was there. So I was there like a year ago. They were like all these different, uh Pro like, you know building a stadium a lot of nice ass hotels now Yeah, which is weird like I'm talking about a place that used to be like cranked in heavens Yeah, I'm not fucking hotels now. It's weird right like we're fucking free breakfast and shit and hipsters We're fucking car her hats on

Fucking hipsters the biggest trip. So we had to leave the airport because well only because like especially let's say 10 like within the last 10 years people were always talking about like the economic downturn of Detroit right things like falling apart and Houses abandoned all this stuff. You're like Detroit's in rough shape. And then it would be it's a big, uh, Delta connection point. Yeah Yeah, so you'd land there and you'd be like, I don't know you'd expect like for some reason in your head like Oh, it's going to be like feluja in here or something like the Cleveland airport. Yeah And then you go in and there's like that psychedelic

I love the psychedelic tunnel. It's like a lady on on the speakers going like what's going on in the D Yeah, you're like, oh shit. This is kind of cool. It would be like the coolest airport experience. Yeah, and like as a comic That's all you do. Yeah. Yeah, just always the airport. So I remember I've been two nights I spent in Detroit airport or just I've been stranded there a couple times because of weather And then they shuttled you out to that fucking sad ass hotel like a mile. You're like, this is fucking terrible Yeah, but you're right the airport was a big party and I had some good food there Yeah, there's like a total resurgence now. I know I have to go see it. I haven't been here in so long Definitely changing. Like I say, I don't as much as you know, I have I lived there my whole life

But the past 10 years I could say I don't really know what the fuck I'd stay in the suburbs. I stay in my house I don't really go to the city that much but when I do I always see some shit like what the fuck Why they got avocado toast now Do you kind of resent it though in a way like when something like that's coming through or no We've been fucked up for so long. I'm just happy to see like Basically for the future of the kids and you know You know like Detroit was always a big city, but we would never treat it like one and that's it

You know what I mean? Like it's not like a tourist location. Motherfuckers. I'm like, I'm about to go to Detroit So now it's like you could probably go out there and do some cool shit. That's cool. So you like you're happy for Yeah, yeah, that's cool. That's cool. Um, so yeah, we were talking right before you came on that like your videos are so dope Well, thank you. Like I say, I can't really take too much credit for it. I don't know man You're you're definitely green lighting Yeah, yeah, and and like so are you a big Is part of it come from the fact like that you're A movie cinema fan or something or hell. No, no, I don't I don't even have the attention span to watch movies and shit

Really? I swear Really? I play a lot of video games. What is like the video process like for like when you have a song you're like, all right We need to make a video do people start pitching you? No, I never really um Like I make music and music and I never really think of what to Make a video for anything like that. So usually my manager or somebody like this one this one Really and then when I then I decide what song we'll do and then we'll just get a whole bunch of Treatments in you know, really and then you go over the treatments and figure out which one is cool

And usually work like that. How the fuck do you become a rapper? Like people are like, how do you become a comedian and we go, okay, you just go to the comedy club The same shit It's more I would say I mean What it was like because I was I came in that era of you know Where hip-hop was like this thing of you had to have an image you had to have a look like I've I've been in so many like label Meetings early and they was like the music is dope, but you don't have to look what the fuck

Yeah, like I was some dumb dirty motherfucker from Detroit with braids and a missing tooth and they was like This is the day when like 50 sitting everybody had muscles and yeah, wait. Is that 50 cent story true? Yeah, I lived with Tony Ayo for like a year. You live with Tony Ayo? Yeah, so many stories with that wait in Detroit or in new york in new york and little guy Hold on So for people that don't know I know that uh, I I guess did that come from like g unit was we're signing You is that from living with Tony? It's a long story Like I say in the beginning what I would do

I would I would just literally I had a connection at Rockefeller records A&R there that liked my music So I would take these 12 hour greyhound trips in new york Wave before cell phones or that shit calling on pay phones and this and that How surfing or who I could stay with and go out, you know, and I would record these mix tapes. You are a comedian Yeah, I would make a mix tapes of the weekend and go back home Yeah, and then I would make I had so many mix tapes from doing that But then I ended up going to jail

I mean I was locked up for that year. I was locked up for like a year when I was locked up My brother would put my music on the internet And what happened was by the time I got out of jail I already had like a name on blogs and shit like hip-hop blogs were like post my music and shit So when I got out of jail, that's what I'm gonna do now Wait, isn't that a trip in and of itself that you get out of jail and you're like, oh shit people like Yeah, but it still wasn't like a thing like it wasn't gonna get me a record deal thing So like I say, I had to take it back to some stand-up comedian type shit and I would go to open mics

Like sign your name on the list and you know type shit, you know what I'm saying? So and then I started to make because I knew it didn't matter for me to have my Music all over these blogs and no one in my city knew who the fuck I was Right, so I had to go around And go to these open mics and get my name known in the city because at the end of the day Like in a record company reached back up like who's cracking in the city or what you know Even though I got my music around on these blogs and shit, nobody knew who the fuck I am It's not gonna add up. Yeah, you know, yeah, so I got my name out and then I end up, you know

Meeting the manager and for meeting that manager, you know stuff just started rolling snowballing from there kind of shit Dude, okay. So where where does uh Not at Tony Ayo situation fitting that is that I used to go recording the studio in new york in queens Which was um, but this is all on your own like trying to Yeah, like I say the a and r that I met. Oh, right. Right. I felt like he would take me to the studio Okay, so you're right where I make my mix tapes Okay, and I was in queens and when that studio when I was I guess I was in jail or whatever Passport when that studio shut down the engineer from there started working for Tony Ayo

And then one day they came to Detroit Okay, and the engineer just was calling me like but we like you and the d whatever We need to get some weed on we yeah, blah, blah, blah I we didn't even we praying talk to each other in years type shit and then I just showed up to the hotel room You know brought him weed or whatever and then he was like, oh, you got some no He knew me from making music. So he like you got some new shit. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, oh shit. Yeah, I do. I just put a video out and I show yay on my video and he just He didn't let me leave after that shit. Really leave with me right now

He wouldn't even let me go pack clothes like let me go grab some clothes like no you with me Fool me out the next day and I was with him for like a year. No shit Okay, so then what happens because I've heard this and I I purposely didn't want to Look up details what I heard was That like you're gonna sign with g-unit and then 50 cents back to what you were saying was like Oh, but you look's not right. Yeah. Um, yeah back in those days. I wear like super tight ass skinny jeans. Yeah But we'll call them tiny pants shout out to base god, you know what I'm saying? I wear these skinny jeans and I couldn't even pull up so they'll just be like way down here

I'm a whole ass is hanging out. Yeah, I'm saying you wear colorful drawers and shit but uh I remember we did a show in Connecticut somewhere like that, but they had a show and then I just wore these like super tight white-ass skinny jeans And he had all his dangsters around. Yeah, but before that he'd been told me like, you know, you need to look more threatening Oh my god, he gave me these jeans that had like dollar signs on the back pockets and they were huge. Yeah I just look terrible. I remember

I remember when I was wearing my skinny jeans and shit. I was getting girls and stuff, right, you know Like I'll go to the shows now can meet girls and shit, but then He gave me these big-ass jeans and I remember wearing them with like vans or like chucks and shit I just looked like a gang banger. I just looked like I was up to no good. I would get no girls Then I'm going back to what I know And like this but does the look thing is that like a like does 50 actually be like look man You ain't got the look he loved the music He loved a lot of my music, but then like I say he told me to chill out just you know, you're gonna get your turn

Just you know, okay, but then eventually I was like fuck that shit. I'm doing what I want to do At the end of the day, I was still I'm 37 years old. Yeah, I could I had to be like late 20s at that time I was already I was already battered and bruised at that time. You know what I'm saying? I was already touched. He couldn't even you know what I'm saying? I was not impressed by none of the shit You know, yeah, so he's so hilarious on instagram his instagram and that's actually who he is too as a person I gotta follow him. I'm not following. Oh, it's the best. He's that's actually high years though So I remember we had a show and then I had these tight white pants and he just I don't know He just freaked out and was like you got this motherfucker around me. Mother fuckers don't think we gay

I'm talking about to get beat up for it man Really? Yeah, it got like that where it far as like fuck. So then after that was over. I knew in my head It was over like I gotta go home. Yeah, you know, so I think I lied to yale and told him I had a show What's up? I got a show in california, which I did like at a fat beats for like 20 dollars But it all worked out man. Yeah. Yeah, it all worked out. Yeah. No the videos I we were just we liked them so much We're watching so many videos like but yeah, I guess the video thing um Because I remember I remember when um and it funny came out and like didn't Jonah Hill do like that Yeah, it's such a like it's always shit like that. That's pretty lucky for me and I take you know

I'm really blessed for stuff like like he just really liked the song and reached out to do a video for it The song's amazing and he wanted to really it was before he shot the movie that he just did So that was his way of like testing the cameras and yeah, that was a way to practice before he starts shooting the movie It's a great video. It's a great video, but the song's really amazing. Thank you. Thank you, man. Yeah Is that what do you go into songwriting like is your style to like Think of You know, do you just write down like a like all this is a title or just like whatever it comes out of you? I mean for so long I

I went with with the strategy of whatever come to my head. I write it down type shit Like I will wrap in my head all the time. So like I'm pretty sure like you guys think of a joke You're like, fuck, I'm gonna write it down like you and your fucking bed and you got the fucking Always and a punchline pop up in my fucking head. Yeah, or the shower. I've had to write on the fucking shower And I tell myself I'm remember it like you never will never So I did that for so long that I think I'm kind of like blessed to be able to just write punch lines and shit on the spot Type shit, so did you hear that beat first? The ain't a funny beat is crazy. No, I haven't see that's the thing My producer Paul white. He sends me so many fucking beats that

I were I'm probably writing a song right now for beat that was made four years ago So it's no telling how long I had that beat before I even started writing to it Which is a good thing because you get so many ideas To listen to a piece of music for so long like and a lot of times I have so many beats from them or stuff. I just put beats on I listen to them and I will let stuff just happen on its own more so than be like I'm gonna sit here and write a rap I'm gonna write a song or come up with this concept No, I would just like put beats on and every now and then I might have a couple bars for this beat

I might come up with a hook for this beat. I might come up and Eventually it just starts painting its own picture for itself I don't really go into the trying to force it no more I've always wanted to ask about like this like you have such a distinct performing voice Did you always perform With that like, you know, I mean no it took a long time for me to actually find that voice to find that boy Yeah, I probably did like three mixtapes before I even started rapping like that. Really? Yeah, I think Adderall Adderall should get a lot of credit man

I remember like the beginning stages of Adderall. I'd be like fuck. I feel like a super human Like I'm really like like I can see further. I can hear louder Like I really thought like I was really bought into the whole thing of like I'm a better person with that type of shit. Yeah, it makes me work better stick like that But yeah, it's a downfall to that too It makes you a fucking psycho A lot of like bipolar situations because Adderall Oh, really? Yeah, you just have these like mood swings when you take it for so long

You have these crazy like mood swings, which I can't really like ends like you'd be like something's fucked up You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I've never done. You never did you do Adderall? No, I uh, no No, I like downers. I like I don't like me. I like downers like I want to do Xanax Pot that brings me down. Yeah, I like I like downers too. I do too after uppers That's a real party man right there. If you're like, yeah after the other shit Yeah, um, all right. So there's this guy. I was trying to give you a heads up

Yeah This guy is I mean, he's too cool for the cool guy club. So we have to put him in his own club He's his own club. Like just to give you like a little Like test or what we're talking about here God damn, that's the right reaction. So this is hard rock nick and um, it's gonna feel like a magician. Yes I just know he knows some magic tricks Oh, we were thinking genie

It's been a while hasn't it I decided to make a video Since I'm stuck on the 405 On my way to Santa Monica I think the topic of this video will be something a little more personal Let's talk about why badass good-looking rich guys don't have girlfriends like me Why is it that girls will date a guy that has half my wallet half my dick half my car Half my bank half my personality

Half my looks half my wardrobe half my sexual prowess, but they'll Pass up a guy like me Who's fun good-looking interesting edgy educated and wants to be um, I'll ask you I lashes and I Is Let's talk about that okay as you get older you understand it's actually a compliment

Why a guy like me is single and then I look around and guys that have big-ass bellies or You know buy all their shoes that kmart have girlfriends. Why do they have girlfriends or why don't I What I'm saying man, this is this is I bet you this motherfucker know how to fight too This nigga will fuck you up in jail Like this is the type of shit that's that make me never commit crimes again This is the type of motherfuckers you run into in the county jail and shit like that Yeah talking all kinds of crazy talking about bitches and shit. You like motherfuckers. I know you a bad bitch

Like I know you ain't come on man If you look too good and you got it going on women or mother fucking hating cunts They don't like to see you ball. They don't like to see you ball They don't like to see you succeed. They don't like you looking better than them. They don't want you being desirable Because that's gonna make them Vulnerable to you leaving their bitch ass I would think he has a fucking um One of those hoop cock rings

I would have to think this motherfucker got a hoop hanging out his dick I could fight and I could do magic to this He was a bad bitch He has his own He has his own code following Absolutely And I bet you can belly dance like Now you know what though you've got a point here because he's got that appeal that prince had let's be honest when you break it down

The prince was a small motherfucker. He was short. He wore heels and was a bad on that weird weird beard shit too Right weird fucking beards But bitches loved him bitches loved him. Yep. I mean and they probably have the same net worth Yes, easily. Yeah, I know bitch don't like cuz he just too he too much of a bad bitch like bitch don't want to be around That's right another bad bitch I hear you and how much do you think this guy is worth just eyeballing the jewelry the like look at his style What would you guess? I think he worked at like office depots some shit

Well, guess again, he is worth 350 million dollars. You're lying. That's what he says. That's what he says not with that polo shirt Like I don't think this is a real polo shirt. I know they make polo shirt with a big man But this one might be fake. That's a big polo. You're right. That's a big fucking horse And look at the color on that motherfucker. He definitely went through this shirt a few times. Yes He didn't have a bar fighting his motherfucker Yeah, but you bring up a good point this logo the polo logo. This is about 10 times normally smaller, isn't it? Big ones like that. They do. Oh, okay. This motherfucker the horse and the man are like morphing in the one thing right

There's no separation between horse and man Don't forget that somebody like nick probably has access to stuff that they don't release to the public. I'm sorry. You're right It's probably like a special Or as a pickup truck. Yes I mean, that's one of his he has like a bad bitch slash scary motherfucker all in one. Yeah, you know He's got uh, he goes to gold's gym too. He's got six houses 12 cars Like he's just going personal show like he's gonna smack his lips and smack the shit out of you Like I ain't got time for no man. I ain't got time for no man

Do it all this deal. Whoop it on my ass. Like come on Well, so yeah, we haven't watched this one yet. Why don't you go ahead and show us this video? Yeah. Yeah What's up? I get this question a lot. Okay Why do I wear pink? Okay, so much I wear pink because I like pink pussies. Oh You know like inside I like to actually spread The pussy lips open while I'm talking missionary

And the other reason I like pink or wear pink is because If you look at all the richest men in the world, which I'm one of I have 20 million in the bank No bullshit 20 million suck on my fucking testies Um, all the richest men in the world wear pink. Yeah 50 cent true true. Where's pink? Tom cruise. Mm-hmm. Where's pink? All right, Simon Rex So that's what it is 20 million in the bank and fucking growing. I hate over you don't need hair when you're this good-looking, baby Yeah, there you go

On this bad bitch team good Nah, I hate them. Oh, I come because I know there's some other fucking you don't want to run into on the streets But part two the story. What's this motherfucker like five four? Everything Yeah, do you bring up his uh, his bio his bio that he wrote because it's it kind of will inform But he liked over six feet. I'm terrified. Yeah now hold on. He said he's worth 20 million But before he said 75 million. Oh my god, they're there. Uh, you just had it. Um The chic. Oh, yeah, so there he is. He wrote his own bio

So born in vegas grew up in Manhattan. I don't say his height though. He grew up in Yeah, it's kind of hard to see that one I mean, he has some selfies we might be able to see but see look worth a good 350 million Not counting the house I live in I prefer eating pussy from the back Almost 300 pounds Danny, but I carry it like I'm 210 But he also shops at Bristol farms gelsons or Whole Foods Market You can you should consider rewriting your bio Danny everyone in the porn business that he wanted to That's right

That right there, it's like fuck. Yeah, that is the resume. Yeah, it's the resume right there. He's in Brantwood too. He put the location I tried to be on the scene man, but the more I look at his eyes God damn eyelash. I brought combo man. They want to put the shit out of them, but I don't think I can take them You know what I'm saying? I don't think I can take them. You don't want none man. I definitely don't want none No, no hard rock. Nick. I hate him hard rock. Nick man. Well, that's probably that's photo was taken one of his six houses Yeah, you know, so you're saying if you were in jail at this guy, uh, man, I keep my mouth closed. You keep his shut though Because you don't know what he's capable of. No, you know what he capable of? Oh my god, look

We're gonna go eat some ass. We'll be back in a little bit to talk about it That is oh, oh, oh, so check it out. You see that like cuban link chain on the outside I want so my 40th's coming up and you're a rapper. Will you please tell my wife that I should get one of those for my 40th It's unethical Oh to not get a chain Okay, so what should I mean? No, no, you don't you don't need it. Stop it. Yeah. I'm not teamed like I don't have jury I'm not that I have Um, you have fronts. I did until I got my teeth fixed. Wait, your teeth are amazing. Your teeth look great

They look amazing. Now. What did you do 30 30 thousand dollars? Yeah And a year off work Wait, but uh, looks great. What happened to the fronts? Oh, I can't fit them no more Really? Yeah, so I got I'm either gonna take the diamonds out and do something else with them Or I don't know how much were front. Can you tell us that I spent 10,000 on one and I spent maybe 7,500 on another one. So you're looking at about 20 grand of your mouth was in then I had another and I spent like 15,000 Oh, shit. My last one I spent the most on so should I get those you think? Yeah my 40th

Yeah, but see what happened with me, you know trying to be so cool It it excelled my teeth was already fucked up anyway But me wearing the grills it accelerated it and what it was was that Me wearing the grills on like flights and shit and I would fall asleep And the saliva would just you know get caught up in there and they say that's pretty much like acid for your teeth Oh Like I was really like Few steps away from dentures. Really my shit was I had to get bone graft and all that

No way that's why I had to take so much time off Really to get all that fixed. I did not know that. Yeah, so this that's actually a better case for buying the chain I guess but People see with me. I'm from a hood. So yeah, can't nobody snatch a grill That's right. You know what I'm saying? No one's robbing you for you to fucking. That's just disgusting You want me to pull my shit out my mouth like in this shit

That chain will get snatched. But yeah, they're gonna snatch that home. Well, I understand like all right. Why don't we set Uh, like a ceiling a price limit to what's a reasonable amount I should spend on his chain for his 40th birthday I mean what I know for a good chain. Yeah, you want a piece too? No, I'll just do the chain just a chain Oh, just a chain At least it's his 40th birthday. So let's go special. It was safe For Cuban link to their expensive and you want something heavy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want no hollow ass bullish. That's right. Right He's got like 15k

We got to get a new sponsor, you know, we But you could get something like five Five thousand. Yeah, okay. Do you know any steakhouse is listening? I mean I would say um, I wouldn't say it on here. Okay, but off there. We yeah. Yeah. All right. All right Okay, I ain't got they got to show they got to show me some love All right, well, that's okay People are shitty man. I swear they treat you like shit Well, you know what the big thing about jewelry that fucks with everybody is that

Unless you're really in the know, you can get hustled so easily. What who you telling? And they don't give a fly and fuck about you No, I know it's like you guys hold up chains I never really got ripped off because I'm just so so cheap in some sense that I'm going to check this shit Soon as I buy from you and if it's fucked up, I'm coming to holler at you. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, every time I bought jewelry, I pretty much, um, went about it the sensible way Which is the dumbest way to be honest is going to be like, look, that's how much I got what you're gonna do for me You know what I'm saying never letter because then they always gonna undersell you and that's oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah

You're never gonna get what you really pay for in that sense. That's right. Yeah, jewelry's just I don't know But if you don't do that, it's almost like they're gonna you can come in that motherfucker with the intention I'm spending a couple of dollars and next thing, you know, you like fuck you get your receipt like fuck. I just spent $20,000 I don't know how you fucking con me into this. Yeah. Yeah Well, it's also like, you know, you you start looking at stuff and it's there's no I mean mystery to it People just show you the baddest shit and people will be like, that's what I really want. They're like, oh, that's this one Yeah, they start telling you deals and shit like it's really $50,000. I'm gonna give it to you for this You really get an idea. Oh you you you taking me out, you know

Oh, yeah, they always say that shit You know, you're like, oh, you think you getting over type shit The motherfucker's got you so I got a dirty game and jewelry. I just don't you know, you know what I'm gonna do. Yeah I'm gonna hit up Nick He knows everything about everything this guy. I'm working to watch this like gave you just rare like vintage watches This one loves it. Yeah, that's cool. This is my new I got a domino's pizza Rolex. Hey If you like, uh, you know people that have like, uh, she took up

Yeah, domino's pizza Rolex if you have a domino's pizza and you sell enough pizzas in the year Yeah, the owner of domino's give you a Rolex. Oh, that's cool. Somebody just, you know, so Wow You guys there's really a domino's pizza box on this roll So I like stuff like that though. This is the best thing I've ever seen but you can't resell it because no one gives a fuck About shit like that I love it. I love this I love that so they do it for every restaurant like Arby's is the most expensive one if you can find an Arby's Rolex

Arby's Rolex cheaper than 50,000 types. What what? Like the resell value on them is crazy 50 grand. Mm-hmm, but that's why actually from the 90s So shots out who that's pretty dope domino's pizza somebody sold a fuckload of pizzas. Hell, yeah They just gave it away to trophy like that to my dumb ass. Yeah, that's gonna be a great Family heirloom for your your children. I got so many dumb watches. They don't make no sense Can inherit another one you have. I love this. I just like bomb ventures Like I got all like the 90 Rolexes like biggie and two pocket wearing shit like that. Yeah, that's cool Then I have like the Rolex JZ wrapped about on imaginary player with the real Rolex diamonds and shit

So you got you got some nice watch then again like the old 90s Jacobs and stuff the early 2000s Yeah, Jacob watches and stuff. You have a collector. Yeah, and that's it. Uh, what's like the all right, because What's the dumbest shit you've bought? Oh, I have a lot of that shit. I mean clothes Really clothes was like Which I've stopped like I guess that there's so long of just collecting shit and buying stuff but I bought um So many dumb like I've been one time I was in London as self rich And I bought this dumb ass like a Rick Owens like sleeping bag cape type of thingy. I can't even explain what it is

What it's on video. It's a picture of it somewhere and um, it's just a cape. It looks like a sleeping bag With a string and you just try to string around your neck and it just drapes over you. How much it was like $3,000 Oh And I can't do nothing with this motherfucker. He's just sitting in my closet looking stupid Like what the fuck? So yeah, I don't yeah, but like buying expensive clothes is definitely the dumbest I think clothes is kind of even crazier in a way because I bought some expensive clothes Well, after we got that mcdonald's money, you went a little crazy and you had to return some of the stuff It's almost crazier than jewelry in a way because clothes clothes you get like a few

Whatever wearing If it's a picture on instagram in it, you got it. It's over it. You can't wear it again That's so true But a good piece can be timeless like a good jacket Can last for a good piece, you know, but but fashion-y stuff It's kind of silly. Yeah, I'm definitely wasting a lot of money. Yeah the high end like high end I want to see your cape if you come back while you wear a cape. I can find a picture of it. I'll show you What do you make of by the way?

There's this whole thing going on now about like some of the high end fashion lines being accused of like blackface stuff I mean, they always been racist Montclair this week All that shit been like that man at the end of the day. Have they been have they been doing stuff like that a long time? I'm just not even familiar. I just saw the story I know that in the fashion world a lot of a lot of brands feel that once it's Popping in like urban communities. That's the decline of the line Whoa in some sense. So I can see where Gucci to me. I think it was a planned

Situation after they did the dapper dan thing. They did the most niggas shit they can do They did some niggas shit So that was just a check they already got the money from was like Gucci has been revived so many times Like it pops then it fall off and it pops and this was their way of saying Y'all niggas stop buying this shit right now so we can get back to being, you know, cool in our audience Wow, because right now it's like an urban brand. Yeah, you know, so you think though there is like some like almost Conspiracy in a way, right? Yeah, I really I think that was I think that was purpose They did that. I'm pretty don't want black people to wear their clothes right now. No shit

They had a nice five-year run with us and now they like hold the letters get back to being high end And then when we need y'all motherfuckers again, we'll make some fucking all-over print shit right logos on it There's no fucking way like the one thing that gets me out is like when you see these stories And there'll be images With like something resembling, you know blackface. Yeah, it's weird. There's no way But when they're like, oh, we just made that we're even thinking like that like because A fashion house like that to approve of something. Yeah How many channels that had to go through they knew what they were doing

They knew what they were doing. I gotta say, I think they just really wanted that was they whole way of like chill out Y'all gotta stop wearing Gucci. Yeah. Yeah, because uh tip found the I guess he it was an older Montclair Jacket and you're like, is this real? Yeah, and it it definitely didn't I don't know about this jack I know that gucci was a sweater, right and it had the mouth cut out I mean, my clear really had like real like blackface But it was actually a designer in the 90s that was a black designer from Paris I can't think his name right now, but he actually used to do that too though. So I in some sense I thought they was trying to like

Do a take on what he used to do in some sense, but I don't know that's so crazy Yeah, so it's so all these things are coming out now. That's the Montclair jacket. Okay. Let me see. Sorry I know you guys can't see this, but it's a jacket. Oh, no, but that's sweat Oh, no, so yeah, this is bad. What is that? And they're like, what? It's just a dude It's literally like this other That's what I feel like that's just oh, that's the campaign quite literally is I'll show you the pattern That's the yeah, he says show the camera and then they'll bring it up And then the jacket is I don't know what what is this called? Is this black? It's like old timey southern

It looks like I'm like it looks like minstrel shows. Yeah minstrel show stuff. That's so like that It's very our word. Are you gonna walk around and be like, oh, it's just my I'm a big fan of like Early 1900s night. Yeah racist movies Yeah, I just it's my favorite thing Yeah, but in stuff in stuff like that don't really age well either So like motherfuckers that buy that shit is like it's so trendy for now. Yeah, you can't wear that jacket in five years You look stupid. No, of course not. Where are you gonna wear that jacket right now? So that's my thing. I try to

now buy clothes with the With the thought of timelessness almost. Yeah, where do you go? Where do you buy clothes now? Yeah I buy clothes now shit from amazon Yeah, but in my time like I used to high-end shit I would like go to bird offs and you know Self-rich or really it's all about going to like certain stores and like certain places like I go to new york I know my shop I come out here. I know my shop, you know, I go to london. I know my shop But I am going to fucking shopping in minnesota. You know

Might get some shit in vegas might get some Yeah, so it's all about when you just get in these certain places. That's when you go new york is always the Yeah, bird off and the fucking dover street all that shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's dope. Yeah, that's good Can we talk about jail for a minute? What about it? Well, we've been watching that show love after a lockup Fucking hating cunts. Did you ever get on? An inmate dating site? Oh man. I was the inmate dating site. Yeah We were just on this Tell us everything we're dying to know so I was I was actually a lucky mother fucker to get the opportunity to work registry

And registry in jail is like the best job you could possibly get What is it registry is when people come in to get registered Only two people could work this job So I got lucky end up getting a job through some rap shit too. That's just a long story whatever really But I got the job working registry and what that means is when people come in to get registered You just the person down there helping the police, you know, if they tell you give them some greens go get them something You know, oh, so that the car mother fucker that passed out the sandwiches and shit That police have to obviously be like this is a somebody who's not a problem. Yeah, so yeah

So yeah, so like any other inmate, you know, I would get letters from girls or whatever on outside and stuff But it got to when I was like fuck this shit, you know And what I would do is I would pass out the sandwiches to the female inmates too smart So I see one come in you can see her broken and battered You don't know what she's going through. You know You need a sandwich Always that shoulder. She can lean on I would get the inmate number I would look on the slip and I would get the inmate number and then I'll write them like yeah

I was the guy passing the sandwiches, you know what I'm saying? I see your case. I know what you're going through, baby You give it a sit. Yeah, I got to the point after like six months of this. I was never getting male on the outside I was only getting male from the other That's perfect So then we do like a little freaky shit like she I know her court day. She'll come down show me your titties or something through the I'd be going back to my cell like it's the best day of my life. Like yeah, I saw titty. I don't know what the fuck is going on right now You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but a titty flash when you're in what? It was like the world. Yeah. Yeah like fuck I'm watching girlfriends and shit every day getting horny up that shit. That was like the real deal like what?

I just saw some nipples Fuck with me I don't give a fuck. I stopped eating the fucking food and that motherfucker for that She's like i'm straight So you mean to tell me so you would you would find out when her court date was and then you would somehow How would you get to see her though? I like you she know when she coming down or you might get lost going down Meaning you go down the register area You got to go down to the register area to go to court

Most people in the county jail people fighting cases. They ain't really got their time yet So they do right to go through the process basically held before you held before you go unless you already got time And you're doing time there you can't do more than a year in the county jail So right so yeah a couple girls got time where they was in the county Then you wouldn't see them no more because they're not coming back down But we'll be writing each other little freaky letters and shit was jail like Was it terrifying or was it like manageable? Of course, it's terrifying and forget it

But once you get the jail in once you get used to this shit. I ain't gonna lie man. It's probably some of the funest time You meet the funniest motherfuckers in the world in jail. I hate to say it man So it probably did it did a good it did a good job of my personality I can't I can't thank it. I can't I can't thank the world for that experience. You know what I'm saying What's the best part? What did you like most about jail? I ain't saying I liked anything about jail Because I would never want to go back right, but Um, it just was fun mother because you got to think at the end of the day. There's funny dudes in there You were grown as men

But you get and reduce back to a child level Yeah, because the mother fucking telling you in the sleep mother telling you when to eat So all you do is act like a kid at that time you running around acting like just silly as fuck It's no like you're not getting high. You're not but was another thing too with me Working registries you get access to the cigarettes So I was like the guy that sold the cigarettes in jail even though I didn't sell any cigarettes I shut that shit down. I just smoked them. Oh, right. So I would use my cigarettes will give me leverage to do shit You know I'm saying like did you have to sneak where you could smoke them too? Is it like?

It was no cigarettes allowed and kind of I mean we're just you smoke after a lot down Like after 10 p.m. When they cut all the lights out and shit everybody smoking in the room Really? Yeah, and but did you have a is it is it ventilated? Do you have a window? I mean once they lock you down, no motherfuckers leaving out the bubble they ain't paying y'all no attention no more They every now and then we get raided and get caught and what you do is it's terrible You take um baby powder and put it in the sock and you just beat the walls and everywhere And you wake up in the morning looking like a fucking cocaine castle

Yeah But uh Yeah, and you spray bleach and it gets rid of the smell and baby powder. So that was our air fresheners But so yeah, so me I will have the cigarette so I'll just use cigarettes Like I could be wanting to take a nap and motherfuckers out there yelling too loud playing space I'm like I'll get y'all motherfuckers a cigarette to shut the fuck up You know what I'm saying give them a cigarette they shut the fuck up Yeah, so I was like running shit because of cigarettes and shit cigarettes are great

So it's 10 o'clock lights out the guards aren't around what go is that one the party starts? Yeah, you smoke a cigarette and take you out to sleep Yeah, that's all it is. You talk shit to other guys are you Oh, the funniest shit I've seen in jail was that motherfuckers you could you can take a trash bag and put it over your toilet And like plunge all the water out and then you just yell through the bowl and motherfuckers will yell back Because motherfuckers did it too on other floors. You just like it's like a dating chat line of jail. Really? You can meet bitches there They're like, what's up? What's poppin? Shit what's going on with you?

What flow you on? Are you It's hilarious, but you don't want a monkey that does that you don't want to be his mother fucking ass You're trying to sleep with motherfucker yelling how would you bunkie? I had cool bunkies to be honest the last monkey I had that motherfucker was on the first 48. He got killed Recipes Robert Guevara that's my home We got to a beef one time because for some reason this motherfucker like bananas and shit You know what I'm saying?

So, you know when you work here like registry and shit you get put in orange That's when you get a job you kind of got more access to food than like a normal inmate So this motherfucker was still like the whole Shit's a banana the whole stocks and shit and just be in the bunkie and just be in the room just eating banana the banana And it that's nothing that will annoy me. You know what I'm saying? Get your potassium up. I guess Yeah, the nigga would take a shit like right before lockdown. You know what I'm saying? Like shitty banana smell is like the worst thing to sleep through. It's like

Man's like I seen a yellow fume or something past my face like So, yeah, so you like were you like dial it back with the fucking bananas, man? Yeah, we got into it. We almost had it had those situations But yeah, but then I remember I got out of jail and I was chilling watching fucking first 48 and this motherfucker He got The motherfucker over there was like, you know, he was the one that got murdered but damn did they uh, did they uh Was it one of the episodes that caught somebody? Yeah, and he was the one getting charged for killing him

All right, okay, and we got his bananas Now so you You're telling me that you have to take a shit. So there's one toilet in the room with both of you Now, how do you you get used to shitting in front of the other guy? No, I mean you got a room, but then it's a pile. You don't have to be sitting in that room all day So if you if we're not locked down the rule is ain't nothing happening once we lock down So whatever you've got to do do that shit before you like down. Oh, you got to take a shit I'm out here watching tv somewhere. You're in the room taking a shit. Okay. So you guys kind of work it out

Like hey get the fuck out of here. I have to shit. They know take shit. Yeah. Yeah, and do you have toilet paper? Yeah, yeah Okay, you get it from the commissary got you got you. Okay, and what kind of snacks did you have? I know I was the king of like, um, yeah What's the high value snack see with me? I'm not really a sugar motherfucker like that anyway So with me when commissary you only could spend a hundred dollars like a week or some shit So I was more so the socks draws t-shirt buying motherfucker, which damn near a kill Y'all hold hundred dollars or some sure

So I always just bought new socks because I didn't I'm not a motherfucker here washing t-shirts and shit Like, you know, that should just blame. Yeah. I don't know. So I just always stay new socks fresh So I was more so on that way Fresh stocks still feel good. Yes So I always kept and instead of point where I would stack up so many like dirty socks and t-shirts and drawers Motherfuckers to take them from you like I take them and wash them and wear them themselves It's disgusting. But what were the big snacks there? Oh mother fuckers like making. Oh, well me I had a cool guy from southwest that made um burritos

He would take um That's when you take a bag of doritos and shit and you crunch them up real fine And you take like a plastic bag And you lay that out then you put like the the crush doritos and you chop up like Slim gems and beef sticks and cheese sticks and all that shit and you put it together and you roll it up like a burrito Do you put it under the hot water? You just let the hot water run and it cooks it all together So those shits was kind of fire I eat that shit

The flavor dorito. Yeah, like is it nacho cheese doritos? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's good No, that should actually kind of fire and yeah another thing that got put me up on was what got me through a lot too You take a um bag of like barbecue chips. Yeah crunch though. Hey always crunching up chips. I don't know. Yeah, it's interesting So they crunch up barbecue chips and you put boiled eggs in there and you shake them up You shake them up. I mean you pour it out. It's like a it's it's like happy easter. So yeah, so it's like a seasoned barbecue That's that's that's good too. It's fire. Yeah actually was eating that shit on outside One of the homies had to stop me like man, you keep eating like that. You're gonna be back up in that Motherfucker

Shit man, keep that shit in there. Did you guys did you have access to booze with people sneaking? Hell no, I mean my father's trying to boo Yeah, we're in county jail. Motherfuckers always trying to do weird shit like like make toilet wine and stuff I think the banana peels. Oh, okay. Let banana peels ride or some shit Bruno white lightning. I never fucked with that shit. I had cigarettes. I was cool Yeah, yeah, let's stop. So, you know, you obviously know this is the home of the cool guy club. We found We got uh, this is you might appreciate this. This is another voicemail So a young lady

Posted that she was like, I don't know why I gave my number to this guy. Cool But he he he gave her a call and left a voicemail. This is the day after She gave him the number. Gotcha. Okay. Go ahead. Let's uh Hey, this is melvin. I texted you last night. You never responded back Um, if you didn't want me to have your number, why did you give it to me? I was kind of like dumb as hell It seemed like you wanted these little young dumb mind abroad That's a little rinky dink minimum wage job at marshal You think you the bomb and even the firecracker wearing wigs like you some 90 year old lady with no hair

Whoa dude I mean, I thought you had a nice face and body But Beyond that there's so many chicks in san diego with that and I got plenty of them Shit, san diego I'm not about to be chasing you around

I mean, unless you're mentally retarded or something normally when somebody calls or text you that you gave your number You respond back. You know, I guess you too retarded to realize that damn I'm gonna just go ahead and delete your number Okay, marshal Go for it, dude. Yeah, I love when people tell you I'm gonna delete your number. Just do it asshole Yeah, you don't have to tell me about it. You have to announce that you don't be the guys that fucking up for everybody, man Yeah, I swear it'd be like, you know, like I women say men are trash. I think that's And by the way, this guy left that after I texted you yesterday. That's it. This is the call

Keep going like but I mean like you texted her. All right. She didn't respond back and then you leave that voicemail Well, yeah, that's what cool guys do though. Gene. I mean, he's too cool for school. He's too cool for me. Yeah There's a cool guy It's very cool But there's guys like that They keep calling and calling and they don't get the picked. They don't get the message that you're not interested Yeah, I think this is like what's so cool about this guy is that I think this is call number one Yeah, he's just he's just shy. He's just gave up

But he's older he did Marshall sounds like he's at least 30 like this is a kind of excusable when you're 1920 But I don't like to work before He wasn't like so he's looking for that like he's he's that's he's very dom. He's a very dominant man right there He's very done. I like how he's playing his cards, right? He's dogging her job, but he was at her Yeah, you're in Marshall's asshole. That's where you shot, bitch Yeah, that's a good point. Gene. Um, so Oh, what's the um, what do we want to show? Oh, are you a big odb fan? Of course. Yeah, check out. Uh, we got We got a little

I've never seen this clip, but I wanted to play it. Oh, shit This is when you just got a jail. Is it I'm into all asshole. I like it because it's tinier than the pussy hole Yes, you know, it's told me it's like tiny as a clitoris. So when I when I look Get the feeling of licking a York peppermint patty That's nasty He looks a little crazy A little odb man, but this was I feel like, you know This was a different odb than what we fell in love with right at this time

Were you a big, uh, eat a booty guy dirt mcgirt trick daddy eat a booty guy. Yeah, they eat a booty guy. I mean Put a fist in the air for that one That's what that's what trick does. I mean, don't get me wrong when a security camera on you. Yeah You gotta gotta go for the muffler, I guess You gotta go for the muffler, you know, yeah Yeah, he yeah, I mean, he doesn't look good there. You're right Okay, let me ask you this. I just just occurred to me. Sure. Do you would you rather for my 40th birthday? Yeah Uh, get me like the cuban link diamond chain right spend 15 20 thousand dollars or just eat my scrum

Damn you have to think about this. Yes I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go on the the gold chain. Jesus. More kids won't go to college. It's fine 20,000 dollars. Yeah, I'd say 10 you're gonna spend 10 would you eat his scrum? I mean, what the fuck? He's so hairy You're nasty No, I wouldn't eat your scrum not for your birthday. It's pretty good. Hot gore. Have you ever had a lady look your scrum? Yes, which is amazing. Really? Yeah, of course. Of course, but you're not a hairy guy

I'm guessing you're not Do you shower up before she does I got do wipes What do wipes dude wipes? Oh, yeah You gotta break out the dude wipes. Okay. Will you dude wipe it for me? Tom, I will definitely do that I'll tell you that I'll get waxed. I'll get laser treated down there And here's what I'll do. I'll do a little like rose petal thing to the bedroom And I'll be on the changing table with my legs

You gotta see what I see though Oh Now these ladies that have eaten your scrum. I mean, this is not marriage material. I'm assuming these are yes It is. These are ladies that you're serious with. My wife's definitely gonna eat the booty. Yeah Of course, what you mean? I mean, come on. He's like, I'm danny brown. What the fuck? That's true. That's true. Okay. She just gonna go for it. I ain't even gonna ask just go for it She's nasty. You should do it. No, you should do it. All right Oh

ODB was into it. No, I know but he's different. He's special. He's more talented. He's crazy, man. He is crazy. Shit Like this is It's sad. He had a lot of didn't you have like a lot of children and the child support was the issue for his money and stuff? Yeah, because he was getting welfare still. Yeah That was an amazing one too. That was like that was the real ODB. That was the best That was his cribs, right? No, it was MTV. It was just like when MTV used to do like MTV news report And they sent like this fucking nerd to go And he went in a limo. Yes, he went in limo. Yeah to the welfare office pick up his food step

Yeah, and he was like and he was drinking and it was hilarious because his wife over there was counting them. I was like, that's free money, right? What person gonna turn down free money? He was like, god damn ODB and he left the welfare office in a limo and he was like, let's go So crazy That's black excellent at his finest For real like that was me as a kid seeing that was like, that is what I want to aspire to be That's my hero That is black excellent as fine

ODB was one of a kind man. Yeah one of a kind Um big baby jesus Every day every day like my probably three times a day I jerk off so much that the prisoners was actually saying yo dirty chill the fuck out I feel like you just said Man, this motherfucker was crazy, man. Yeah, there's a fucking genius though. That was the thing about anybody I think everybody that's so talented in some right day. You just lose other shit in the process Of becoming that time of day because he definitely was a crazy motherfucker, man

And a lot of people used to try to compare me to old dirty bastard and shit a lot and stuff And I he's like, you're a crazy man. I could never compare to no shit like that Well, he was also like, um, I don't think like you said you never learned a rap He would just I mean I from the interviews and things I've seen they would just take him in the studio and let him go but Y'all remember Riza and jesus his cousins right so those he was a little cuz so those are your big Oh, I didn't know that yeah, so he was just looking up to them like he would say they old raps Yeah, and most of his songs like just old raps. They wrote his kids and shit really a lot of his raps

Was like just old raps. He was just randomly saying shit. Are you would you uh? Is there any producer that you are like, uh, man, I would love to do a record with somebody I think most of them I've worked with already. Yeah some sense, but I guess no, I wouldn't I wouldn't say Because I'm kind of well, I can't really talk about All right, you can't kind of shit, but yeah, I guess I want you Riza It's probably I would love to work with Riza. Come on. I want you to do something with sway the remix god sway the remix

I love it. I love him. I love it. Should he do that do stuff is larious. I love his shit I don't know why I feel like you guys would vibe. No, I definitely I could I could get on some of his shit. Yeah, but I think um Me and music is starting to music is starting to be so um I got the best way like it's starting to be so computerized. I don't know how to say it like it seems just so Easy to make type shit So I'm trying to do a more traditional back to Making 30 fucking 40 year old rap now. You know what I'm saying? I can't make this shit. The kids make no more

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm starting to go back and take a more traditional approach even with recording it Like I don't even really want to record in pro twos and shit anymore. I want to still have that old worn tape sound Yeah, and shit like that So just doing everything that I grew up listening to which is like Wu Tang Nas and stuff like that Trying to make music like they made music Rob deep stuff like that. So I'm going back to doing stuff like that now I was just I was just learning the I because I remember when you know, sometimes you remember the moment But you don't realize the historical impact of it. Like I remember when ilmatic came out

But then watching that there was like this documentary about it. I didn't realize How crazy That album was because he was only in 19 That's why um and also who who decided to like Like because you forget like I just remember buying the album listening to it But you forget that at the time He's it's being produced by like every top producer in the game and that was the first time that happened Nobody really most time you'll get a budget. You will just have one producer

You know, but like q-tip but all the top premiere all the top people and they've seeked him out. Yeah That's crazy But he has a fucking prodigy man like 19 years old and saying the shit he's saying That's why I don't never give any excuse when people talk about when he's young He's a kid like especially in this day and age and making music where you know rap is probably dominated by teenagers right now Sure, but nice was 19 mother fuck. I ain't no excuse. No. No excuse. I'm making dope music So just because you're young don't mean you have the right to make some bullshit. So young man It's a good point. For real. Yeah. Yeah

What's going on with with with uh this pronoun thing? What is this? Is this another wait? What? Oh, the starbucks stuff. Yeah. Oh, that's something that christina. This is a while. Oh Oh, yeah, you've put it. There's these pins now Uh, I believe the employees The hey, uh, oh they wear their you can you can wear your do you know about this one danie? That's a little bit too much man. See that's easy. That's that's only america, man. We take shit too serious Hey, um, how are you? They then there's he him his she her

Hers like like literally yesterday. I was watching the motherfucking um a dog jumping contest y'all see And I thought to myself like who cares if your dog jump higher than mine And his motherfuckers took this shit. So it was a dog agility contest I know i'm the only motherfucker that's seen this shit yesterday and i'm in my hotel room like what the fuck is this only in america Where a motherfucker be like my dog could jump higher than yours It's so stupid. Let's see and then the motherfuckers did it and then they televise it It's a fucking competition where everybody bringing their dogs out like my dog jump higher What the fuck is wrong with y'all motherfuckers? No, yeah

This is definitely a symptom. That's what you do when give a shit about this when life is too easy It is too. We see how high these dogs can jump and then I think I felt so bad for the dogs Because i'm looking you can see the owners they got these real stern faces. They taking this shit serious like god damn Man they doing fucking obstacle courses and shit. Yeah. Come on, man. Yeah. Yeah. Are we having technical difficulty? What's your pronoun? Press pause we we just blacked out. Oh, did we here? Yeah, and it does Okay, our computers went down for me. Oh Oh, we're all good. Oh, we're back. All right. That was easy. Yeah, it does seem like a privileged fucking problem

I was just reading on twitter. Um about weight privilege. What's that? It's a wow Oh, yeah, you couldn't feel shittier. You need to check your weight. Gotta check your weight privilege Did you know that because you're uh Quote normal weighted that it's a privilege and you need to check it now because if you're not people that are overweight like Don't have the same advantages that you take for granted. Oh, wow You know and check your privilege because you're under 600. You're this asshole walking around. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's only in america

Nobody in germany thinks about shit like that They just eat their sausage just impressive man. It's cool about their day man It is americans bring up like we have a really interesting way of making things Like that are not issues issues. I go from the Midwest. So it's kind of cool to be fat Yes, you know what I'm saying like a certain place like texas is cool to be fat I love those places because I think that's where I want to retire like texas like They like fat motherfuckers. You see i'm in a strip club eating lemon pepper wings Snatch like throwing the bones

The bitches just come to them. Yeah, like you'd be skinny. They'd be like, what the fuck wrong with you? Yeah, they think you broke Yeah, I'm gonna hang with this fat dude. Yeah, they think you poor if you skinny Of course. Well, I was gonna ask you too in the midwest. Um, do you guys have this pronoun stuff or? No, hey, oh no, man. They don't that's not a thing. This is just a west coast. You still get beat up for being gay in michigan You just can't be gay walking down certain hoods Oh So, yeah, I'm from middle of america man. We are very close minded people. That's why I can't go nowhere else That's why I love it, man. Yeah, you're used to it. I'm on some discipline

You can't be out here running around wild and keep you in check. Yeah, but don't you feel like it's more It's more indicative of the rest of the country like this is kind of how normal people are in the midwest Not how la is and I know definitely nobody on no fucking ketogen diet And eat kale and be including free and shit motherfuckers ordering dominoes and shit Yeah, fuck no we get lost in a bubble out here. Yeah, we're in new york I could live in Los Angeles, man. No, it's a bubble. It's just too expensive. I live like a king where I'm from I know that's the way to do it, man. So fuck it. No, I gotta try that Doritos thing. I keep thinking about Chop up the slim Jim. You top. Yeah, you take okay. So you take a plastic bag

Okay, flatten that out. Go ahead. You take some Doritos and you crunch them up Crunch them up real fine. Yeah, you lay them out on the plastic Chop up some cheese beef and cheese sticks into it. That's the key the beef and the cheese together and then it Wrap it up and then you put it under some hot water It's good for a minute until you see the cheese. You gotta you gotta make it the authentic way too. I'm not letting you skip My mother fucking Michael Like I'm not I wasn't a pro at it. I just pretty much knew what was in it. Yeah, I had a um It was a guy in my Florida used to make him. He used to kill it. Yeah

I was like one of the best got cigarette and a burrito for bed. Shit. You live in your best life He would get something and a trade for that, right? Oh, yeah, you give him like, um, shit. He was pretty much, um Like stamps That's a big deal stamps and letter envelopes and shit like yeah, I'm on shit like that So there's got to be dudes in jail who are just You know, not savvy not with it and then all of them are everybody But I mean like like never like they're the ones who are like I need stamps. I need socks. I need shirts But they don't got shit. They don't got shit. Yeah a lot and they don't get shit. They don't get shit

It's a lot of them. Yeah And then that makes you just more and more fucking I guess bummed out and yeah You'd be the one fucking mopping my floor for a cigarette and shit like that What about sorry online access because how are these people these inmates dating people on the outside? See that's that's motherfuckers in prison. Okay. I got you once you're going to wait for a long time You know, that's when you can buy a tv and See players and shit like that where I'm at county jail. You ain't getting shit. Yeah, right. Yeah, but you're only there for a year So that's good. So I did eight months. That's still that's long enough

Oh One of my friends did uh He did two weeks at the towers twin towers downtown, which is Horrible because they forgot about him. Oh, yeah, no that happened. You get lost in the system all the time Fuck had my dj. We did we had went he had some um old like Warrants of some shit and we went to china For a day like a dummy like I am we went to china for a day and came right back home When we landed in new york the police locked his ass up

He didn't write for like a month. Whoa. He would have got lost in the system too If I didn't have my managers and shit on it and they got him out Whoa, yeah, that's what he damn. They got lost in the system though. That's horrible. That is horrible Um, yeah, look, so one of my favorite types of videos we've played them before I don't know if you like these or not. This is when somebody is still under the effects of like an anesthesia And they're coming out of it, you know, but they're saying crazy shit that they normally don't say and this patient That's like when I drink. Yeah, exactly Drinking so she is uh, you know still under the effects, but this is always this is a good one

Every time I eat in bubble and I gotta go She is a very respectful girl she never turns in front of me like this Naja zipping it's coming up Water Best we know that I have to make it black excellent Okay, I gotta be a doctor. You even anyway, that's not me She said black X ones too. I want to see are you still passing gas? I can't Oh, shit

I'm like the hook Oh My asshole burning all night Okay, okay Okay My asshole burning. Oh my god We know I'm my lips dry. Uh-huh. I'm quicks the third. We know. Okay. I want some water Well, so I can eat but size and that's you you gotta have something

Spicy or something that's gonna. Oh, no, I don't want my ass. My asshole came from normal. Oh, no She's hilarious. She's hilarious. I feel like it's a stand-up set right there. I know, right? This poor woman. She's coming out of anesthesia. I gotta see her 15 minutes, right? I love pickle eggs. Oh my god. I will not I will not you know what pickle egg is. Um, it's a hood Snakes Definitely a hood snack. I like her man. Yeah, she's funny. She's amazing. Yeah, she's funny. It's in the hood I'll bring you one. Okay. It's good

It's an egg and It's a slice of juice But it's real good But since you don't have asshole problems I doubt you can eat it You're gonna see it back Fucked up too though. Yeah, she's fucked up. Really? Yeah, you can see it

Yeah, that is uh, man that anesthesia poor nausea and she'll have like no, uh No record of this, you know, I know I know that's the most fucked up thing like I hate that shit too Like, um, when I drink sometime I black out sometime But be conscious. Yeah. It's not cool at all. It's not cool. I want to stop Like I haven't blacked out in a long time, but it's bad and then motherfucking telling you he's doing shit Like the last time I blacked out. I fucking um, I punched a lamp Oh, no, so like my fingers are cut up now And I woke up in my hotel room and there's blood everywhere

It's glass everywhere. It's throw up everywhere. And I don't know what the fuck just happened You know what I'm saying? So you wake up you seeing this shit and I was like, fuck. I need to get another drink If I hope y'all we like you got blood glass and throw up are you still going? Like I mean, I don't know how to stop this like whatever Like once you come down from this moment, you're going to realize what the fuck them shit you did So I was trying to keep going. Yeah. What did I say last night? Did I do anything? That's the panic moment that when you go like such a parent I man, I remember like the one of the last ones that I did was like it was years ago

but I was had this job out here in LA and uh, everybody from the office got together at this bar I remember I was there and yeah, you weren't there with me. Was this your birthday? No, no, no when you jumped rope on the on the patio That was different time before we were dating or started dating. Yeah. Yeah, but I knew you were the guy for me a year before that Before we started dating I was at working at this job at an entertainment company and we went out and I just all I remember was Well, I remember nothing. I remember like the before the blackout. So then I my friend was like man Everybody was gathered around

Yeah, they're like, oh man, everyone was gathered around and you were holding court Like telling a story and people were laughing and you were just like almost performing to them, right? And he goes and you were super fucked up Because in the middle of the story you just projectile vomit And he goes then you you were like, you know after you spit you're like like try to get it out You spit and then you kind of lean stood back up and you kept telling your story And everybody was like We're out of here, man

And I was like mortified because it was friends, but it was also people from work. Yeah So that was like saturday night. So then monday morning you go. I would go into work. Everybody was like you are You got a lot of problems Yeah, yeah, but that's why we can only be comedians and rappers. I mean, you know What the fuck are you gonna do you kind of get a pass for it? Yeah, people take your piece. Definitely if you're If you're performing doing that shit, everyone's like, that's cool. It's like another story for you. Yeah, because I can't really I don't know. I can't really have to like have a little something to go on stage Like I get worried about a

Whole bunch of people just staring at me to type shit Sure So I'd like to have a few drinks before I go on stage But a few drinks and they're turning to me being drunk as hell Yeah, and I do always worry when I wake up the next day of saying crazy shit because I've done it so many times We're like, I'm definitely a hobbit you will just line stepper What I get drunk almost get a kick out of like pushing people buttons and shit Yeah, that's the fun part of yeah, and I was doing shit that you wouldn't be doing sober

Yeah, I don't like that because that's like you turn into another person. Yeah, what are you drinking? I drink tequila That shit makes you wild But cuz I used to drink a lot of Hennessy Coming up and that's just give you so much heartburn and and the browns the next day the Hennessy browns It's the next level shit. You know what I'm saying? So I try to yeah, it's hot But tequila doesn't give you hot browns. It's mud. Yeah, you're just dropping mud. Yeah Oh This morning I had my first official chart

Of 2019 now. Hey, here's the deal man. I've had one other We flew to Africa. I sharded on the way, but that's because I had three tacos. Yeah, that's a stupid idea But it was uh, it wasn't the liquid chart this morning was liquid like I farted and like liquid came out of my Disgusting. Yeah, and then I had diarrhea. Is that what happened when you drank Hennessy? Is that what you had with your Hennessy Hennessy is just a It's a more of a morning. I the worst is is molly if people that know if you take molly That's why when you go to those festival toilets, you go to the porta potty. Yeah, the motherfuckers is just they just spraying Is that right?

Yeah, instantly and I remember um, I had a show. I opened up for um chowder's gambino at central park I did a little molly. Whoa, that's crazy, man. Before I went on stage What's it like dude, what's it like to do in that though a central park? Yeah, that's crazy that that's on the resume I just remember being on stage and just having the hour-long conversation with myself like you about to shit on yourself and I'm saying to myself like all right. This is gonna happen because he's just starting like I still got 45 minutes of this shit to go He peaking, you know what I'm saying? He's looking out the curtains. You know what I'm saying? I'm at this point. I started thinking like maybe donald got some more shorts or something for me

Yeah, but I like maybe I can shit, but all right. Oh my socks is white So I had like these long shorts, so I thought I could maybe beat the case Fuck man, I like shit in these shorts, but I mean make a long story short. I mean it was a very agonizing terrible set for me, but I think I think it was a good set for the crowd. Oh, yeah They're not they're not watching like that dude needs to shit It's always when you're under adversity like you play your best shows like always know when I'm sick Or when I really don't even feel like doing it. That's when I always had my best sets But I remember sprinting from the motherfucking stage to the porta potty and when I got seven

I went in there and somebody sprayed that motherfucker up already But after that it was a party, you know what I'm saying? After that I was having a good time Because you find that when you're sick or you're diarrhea doesn't your body kind of shut it down when you perform Like you're the adrenaline kicks in and like your body knows like oh, we can't shit right now I got real sick in Europe. I don't know. I mean I was just and I had like maybe Three weeks of shows left. I had to perform like every other night I'm talking about where to be a day of me just like in bed wrapped

And for some reason man in Europe, man, they don't got the heat right like, you know what I'm saying? It's always cold. It's fucking the hotel rooms. Oh, yeah No matter how how you cut this shit up I wonder why they always drinking tea in London and shit. Yeah, because you motherfuckers don't y'all heat don't work, right? You got to stay warm yourself in that bitch. So I couldn't get healthy for shit And I should have probably went to a hospital, but you know when you black you like fuck that shit I got no insurance, man Especially I ain't going no motherfucking fucking hospital in Helsinki. I don't know what the fuck I'm on and feeling

So I wrote it out like a G and got myself back home. You know what I'm saying? But yeah Sick sick on stage sucks. And that's the worst. Here's the worst I was sick as fuck and playing one of my shows somebody just having too much fun Just doush me with like a full glass of water. Oh What's normal shit like rap shows, you know water on each other, but mother fucker. I'm down and got pneumonia You know what I'm saying? So yeah, I cut that show I think it's because they have old heating. Yeah

That's fucking old dumb vents in the floor or maybe the stupid, you know, the winding looks like Europe's dope except for that that kind of shit and then like The toilet we get spoiled. We also get spoiled for space like you go to someone's apartment You're like the fuck you live here. Tell you the smallest thing for me was the ice situation Anytime you order to get you four ice cubes like motherfucker Feel this motherfucker cup I went I was at a place and I still remember in Italy where I was like I ordered it like a coke And I was like ice and the guy was like

He told another guy he's like this dude wants ice And then that guy left And they're like and then fuck with this shit like 10 minutes later I'm like, hey man, they're like he's going to get it. I'm like he's going to get it Yeah, next time we're at a restaurant and then you know 20 minutes later the dude came back He was like, yeah, we couldn't find any ice Neuros don't like ice and also everything has a fucking door, right? They have 500 doors inside of the house

You got to put two doors with a bathroom and then a door here and the door door door door. It's terrible I love it out there. But yeah, the living conditions are not American Like I like when there was that was that show when they would they would move remember like Not house hunters, but yeah, is it house hunters international and they were like we live in Nashville In a 7,000 square foot house and we're moving our six kids to belgium and then they'd be like Here's the apartment. It's 350 square feet. Yeah. Good luck. Yeah. Yeah, and the kitchen is in the toilet Remember you have to you have to cook your shit in the toilet cook here. You can also iron right next to like the fridge Has an iron on it. Americans are like no, dude. No, I can't take it. I want to be fat

A full cup of ice For sure Let's talk about it. Yeah, what's your thermostat be real like be be honest here in the hotel room I blasted motherfucker to the care to the killer care stop. You know, really? Yeah, I want this shit to be hot I'm from Michigan. So we always cold. So wherever I'm at. I want to think I'm at a warm climate You know that fucking psycho you met in the hall with the t-shirt on yeah that dude Literally will turn heat off in the winter and just live in the cold. You know, that's white people shit I like that. Yeah, you know who else it is. It's not just white people shit. It's serial killer shit. Oh, yeah

Because the motherfuckers in michigan like right now. It's like my fucking my fucking Arctic Arctic blast sucks And these motherfuckers were still out there jogging and shit. No What the fuck is wrong with you dude? It's like one day you could You'll see somebody like at a michigan game like, you know, shirtless. Yeah, go big blue Dude, I feel the same way when I see maniacs jogging and it's pouring rain here in LA I'm like you can't really like a douchebag like ass. Yeah You know the same mother fucker, you know, it's a motherfucker. I wanted to work out. Anyway, yeah And you're trying to tell me it's 20 degrees below zero. You just gonna run. I gotta stare you in the face

Yeah, I'm doing my thing. Do you think that bad motherfucker we open with you think he's uh out there doing that shit You know with the cool facial hair and then no No, he's not that motherfucker. He he he wanted a motherfucker that bought one of those. Um The shot Yes And then he goes abacadabra He ain't getting up to work out. You know what I'm saying? No Looks like you're jerking off of the whole memory shake weights. Oh

Danny we're as any any big show any shows you want to plug I mean, I can't I got a lot of stuff going. I mean, I just really finished my new album But like I say stuff just I've done so much. It's still so fresh. I can't really talk about stuff Okay, what's kind of sucks. I guess next time I come back But for uh, you gotta come back with your cape with the cape bring the cape bring your 3000 I've you had that motherfucker. Yes. Y'all donated. Yes. I'll give it to the dog. Yes. I donated to uh to the That motherfucker need to get some use because that's the dumbest person. You know what? I'll start wearing that shit to shows Guys the dumbest person. I definitely will bring it back. I can't forget that

Actually in the dumbest part. I have like another one. It's not a rick. Oh is the You got another cape I actually got another one and it's um What the fuck it's from oak. It's from oak, but it's like a I want to say like a cloak Did you ever wear it and it has a hood. Oh, yeah, I'm performing this shit. Oh really You're so goth kind of I like it. No, I had a phase of that. Yeah, kind of dark. Yeah I was just cool at the time now. It's like I'm more into just being comfortable, man

Yeah, yeah, especially like the last time I wear skinny jeans my dick just shrill up Inside me because I haven't worked with so long. I've been wearing jogger pants and shit. I'll meet you man. Oh, yeah I just don't think I could wear skinny jeans no more This must be a life phase because I'm all into these comfy pants right now. Yes comfy pants I can't believe I was flying in jeans for 15 years. Oh, that's the dumbest shit ever for like 15 years I just did it recently trying to be cool trying to arrive cool and shit But I'm always a pajama flight. I got these pants for you. I'm gonna send you these pants. All right. I'll tell you as soon as we do You're first of all hilarious. You're a phenomenal guest

Amazing musician. Uh, if you guys want the the website at least will keep people updated, right? I barely keep that Twitter nothing. Yeah, Twitter pretty much dany brown x dany x brown x at twitter instagram all my shit is x dany x brown x But yeah twitch. I'm mostly twitching. So all right. Well, there it is Thank you so much for coming man. Thank you guys for having me. So great. Had a blast finally get to kick it with the moms Yeah, man. Yeah, that's out the jeans. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying You know what I'm saying Are you kidding me?

We're gonna fill this up. I like that one all of us In my dream Dark brooks in my dream dark dark broke dark brooks dark brooks in my dream

And let's get dark Let's get dark In my dream Yeah, I like that dark brooks dark brooks