Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 495-Rhett & Link-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: April 17, 2019

Hi Mom, Hi Mommy. Want to see a REAL psycho? This woman is popping off so much, she is reminding Christina of her mother, back when she would pop off. There have been MONUMENTAL "Try It Out" revelations. Tom and Bart Chrysler went on the "Truth or Dab" spin-off of Sean Evans' HOT ONES. Tom and Christina enjoyed another night at The Staples Center to see Los Lakers, but was there enough B.B.C to please the main Mommy?   Studio Jeans is packed up tight today and the Mommy Couch is filled to the brim with some handsome men, RHETT AND LINK! Rhett and Link don't even remember how many projects they have but they are all over youtube and the podcast world. The Mommies find out how similar THEIR podcast partnership is with Rhett and Link's. Will their probing question drive a wedge between them?? The fellas share stories of dead cows, their humble beginnings, and bugs. Plus, we find out where they stand on being "Ride Or Die" with each other. AND a nice round of "Horrible or Hilarious!" All this and more on YMH ep. 495!

All right guys, I had to do this real quick Announcement at the top because we added some big shows that I have to tell you about So before we get in the show, here's what it is June 2nd in Chicago. We added a fourth show At the Chicago Theatre. It's on sale now August 15th We added a second show in Toronto at the Sony Center. That is on sale now August 17th in Vancouver at the Queen Elizabeth that second show is going on sale Friday the 19th of April September 28th, we added a second show in Denver at the Belco that goes on sale Thursday April 18th and In Minneapolis, we added a second show

October 11th that goes on sale this Friday the 19th Additionally in the UK the dates there that had withheld tickets for all the pre-sales have now released tickets So if you weren't able to get tickets, I got a lot of messages about it. You can get tickets now They're all at Tom Segura dot Tom for her Tom Segura comm slash tour. That's my website and I know it well All right, that is it now. Let's get into the show. Yeah I think Obi-Wan Has sent us a library of stuff a library of stuff a library. It's great

It's amazing. What a talent that Obi-Wan is. Yes. I am full of gratitude because the so far 51 I think soon to be 55 City second half of the take it down tour is up and running. Okay. It's all on sale now Tom Segura comm slash tour I couldn't be more thrilled and thankful to be doing this in all the places. I'm doing it and Added like some crazy things man. I'm going to your homeland. I'm going to Budapest. I can't believe it going to Paris Berlin London

I'm going to Dublin Wow, and I'm also going all over the US. I'm doing Canada Winnipeg Vancouver Calgary, Toronto, London London, Ontario, not Both England's anyways, they're all on sale now. Thanks very much everybody. I really appreciate it can't wait to come to your city And and bring the show to you international jeans international jeans exciting I want to thank everybody came to it's too late now for that, isn't it?

When does this air? This is coming out next week. Oh, well, thanks for coming to Minneapolis. Anyways, yeah Five sold out shows sold out well in advance. I cannot thank you guys enough Every show I've done on the road has been sold out in 2019 killing it bro, which is a miracle and it's beyond my wildest Imagination, so thank you May 10th and 11th. I'm doing a Tempe Arizona the Tempe improv May 31st through June 1st sperm bank. That's Burbank California Flappers comedy club June 20th through 22nd Washington DC at the Washington Dick come improv Ticket links are on Christina P. Online and also if you haven't seen it

cash me outside on Netflix I'm home here now Check out my two specials mother inferior and the degenerates. I was eight months pregnant when I did the the degenerates You did you almost had a ceiling fall on you. I did and it's hot very hot fucking unbearably hot. Yeah Yeah, so I think by the time it comes out. Yeah, I'm coming to Boston if you haven't gotten ticked It's done. Oh, and it guys you're shopping on Amazon You could go through our banner on your mom's house podcast calm You could click on the banner at the bottom the home page you're shopping is normally would yeah

All right I Mean there's so much to talk. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my I have so many things to share I have so many fun things around the corner. Mm-hmm. I can't wait. I've really excited to do today All right, let's get into it. Let's do it That is your dick isn't it you proud of your old fucking dick, but it's your car that you Yeah, I can't get it up. Bye. I got my ass Who is Randy don't bring anyone mother

Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura Christina Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Pow

Do you know like 25 times this weekend I listened to that young patreon? Oh, I know I know it's really good It's really good. It is. I mean it's Yeah, young patreon put it on Spotify So you can what do what do people have to type in to find it? I think young is why you en G and then patreon P a t r e o and it's called cool guy club. So so look up young patreon cool guy club. Yeah, it's on there It's tremendous. It really is they really now. I'll be ones on that one. He made he produced it It's an unbeatable team those two guys

Yeah, it's such a good song So many revelations you guys but first of all that opening clip. Oh, yeah I mean, why does it should always happen at the Home Depot Home Depot has a lot of shit going on and most of it's in the parking lot I know kind of is yeah, I avoid going to it for that reason because a the Home Depot is so enormous They're just so big and cavernous You're always lost the great irony is that the worst that like they have everything and like no one can help nobody no help You're just on your own. I went there one time looking for something. I think I don't know a tool or something and I ran this guy I was like I'm looking for this. He was like I work in plants

I was like plants. He's like, yeah, there's a whole now my dad Harry and whatever it's called He's like you need a like a bush. You're trying to buy a tree or something. Oh, man I want I want like a hammer and he's like that's not my department He's like it looks like an airport hangar behind. I know it's tremendous or even like one time I tried to buy paint and I just I just started crying I'm like, there's just too many things to choose from God forbid you want somebody to mix the color for it's it's just that's why you like you really hopeless That's why you really appreciate

awesome Customer service people. I know they're not everywhere. They change your life Yeah, but I think that's why people go crazy in the parking lot because they've been in the Home Depot for an hour They feel lost they feel alone. They feel confused. I'll tell you I just had a I had an almost meltdown the other day and The Home Depot now with FedEx. No, I have a FedEx account. I'm a huge fan of FedEx. No, I am but here's what happened Oh, so, you know, there's I'm home. I Press your home here now. I'm home here now. I press two labels. I print two labels. Yeah But I'm in a separate room than the printer. So when I go to the printer, there's nothing there and I realize oh

We have a new printer. So I have to you know, align it with right with the Wi-Fi and the computer But the printers are another hat like do you think they can just ever just make a printer that you just you just wore it on and it just fucking prints They're like latest software upgrade. You like, I don't know no paper to go through it So so annoying when I go back to my laptop the last thing that I've printed the last label is still there after I connect them And I'm able to reprint it. I Print it. I'm like, okay. What about the previous one the one that I closed I printed two labels So I'm at the FedEx site and I'm like, okay

There's got to be a way that you can see what you printed and then reprinted, right? Yeah, that would be nice I go I'm like I'll go through the shipping stuff. I go to the tracking I'm like, oh, it probably be in the tracking and you can pull up the label. I'm not kidding you I spent half an hour. I then Google a YouTube how to reprint the format that's in the YouTube video is not the current format So I'm losing my fucking mind. Yeah, I go to FedEx with the you know the label that I have I know here you go and I tell the guy he goes we can't do that You can't do what we can't pull up your account. Okay, I have it. I go I

I'm explaining to you my issue. He goes. Yeah. Yeah, we can't pull up any of your stuff and we can't do Whatever you did on your we have no access to any of it. Like that's what he leads with I'm like So what if I were to log into my he goes you can't do this here You can't nothing nothing you want to do I could help you with and I'm like All right, man, it's the worst and then I'm like, so there's just no way what I'm explaining is is accessible or possible I can have you talk to our manager. I'm like, all right Then I see I'm like, where's the manager and then he looks right. He's like, I don't know But she's an assistant manager. I'm like, all right. Okay, so I go up to her and I I'm

Of course, I tell her I'm just super frustrated But I tell her calmly I go, you know, I just went through this whole you know No, I thought the whole thing that I just told you but I go and I just don't know what she goes Do you know you can you log into your account here and I go? Yeah so I log in and The secret is that the reprint is in is under create a shipment. So like if you were to Start a new shipment, you'd go create a shipment Sweating and then the reprint thing is in there

So she's like it's kind of like counterintuitive, but she's super nice about it and I go you just like, you know Relieve my whole stress and thank you No, she was very nice. She actually was like She goes by the way, she finished. She goes. I love your stuff and I go. Oh, thanks a lot And then as I'm walking out another guy goes. Hey, man You're you're a comedian. I go. Yeah, he goes. You've really gotten better Thanks, and he goes. Yeah, he's kind of a way more polished now. I used to listen to you all the time I was like, okay

Thanks. Thank you for the critique at the Fed that's wonderful But how fucking stupid is it to have a reprint of something under create even hearing you crazy even hearing you say it It makes me it gives me anxiety And it makes me mad that I'm wasting time in my life even fucking thinking about stuff like that. It's pretty bad. It's terrible Anyways, can I this woman's amazing? She's clearly mentally ill, right? Yeah Are we gonna go for mental illness or drugs on this one? She's definitely not on drugs She's and also she's completely unreasonable for people listening or even watching She's upset at the car

Parked next to her saying it's too close and she's the one that parked out of line. In other words, she parked off of Out of the two lines. Yeah, and she's mad at the guy who parked correctly Who's now too close to her because of how she parked. Yeah. Yeah, she's definitely disturbed. Yeah Yeah, is there any more of her there is right? Yeah, I mean she's yeah, she's like you should move your car No, you did dummy And let me let me tell you something about this too. She parked this fucking close. This is the difference because This woman really needs to get checked

Okay, and if she were a guy She would already have had her ass kicked in her life a number of times with this attitude This is where at least another woman Needs to put her in a chokehold or to show her what it's like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because she's she's so She's so entitled and and and throws this fucking attitude around and and people allow it There's some guys would be like, all right I'll move my car and she really just needs a woman to throw an elbow in her mouth You and I discussed this yesterday is that that's how boys and men resolve conflicts is physically women just don't resolve conflict that way

Well, when you've been checked as a guy You don't you don't go so what would you do if this were you you wouldn't even say anything He's be like, all right Well, you know if you're if I was this woman First of all, it's you know, it takes a Fraction of a second to realize that she's out of line with how she parked Yeah, and then to make unreasonable demands on top of that. I mean As a guy, I don't know. I'm just I'm not insane

So I would just be like I know I'd be out like I maybe I don't want to move my car Maybe it's humiliating to have to move my car But no if there's another guy there who's like I didn't do anything wrong Part of your your your dna wiring as a guy starts to just Automatically size up who's telling you of course If I'm telling you right like a guy fucking is like course. Hey, dude Um, your your brain just goes like can this guy fuck me up. Yeah, that's because you guys That's because you guys are apes and you resolve conflict by hitting each other. That's true

So I'm saying there's a value in that there is a value in physical violence. There is there. I agree with you No, I agree with you Yeah, because you don't start bullshit like this in parking lots because you know some guy's gonna beat your ass So there's no exactly and then she's around barking. She's fucking 70 I know Bullshit around for her whole fucking life and that's what I want to be clear I didn't say a guy should do anything to her. He shouldn't a woman should kick her ass I wish women are you so you're advocating that women should start violence with each other? I think sometimes I think it's good

Yeah, you know Kind of makes you it kind of makes you second guess saying stupid shit. That's that's what it does. You're right Well, I'll tell you something because I don't do this in public for a reason because I've been in fights With I should say loosely that I've been beaten up. Yeah, I have not Successfully won a fight so I know not to flip shit to strangers even almost getting your ass kick makes you Aware of physical danger of watching your stupid fucking mouth. Yeah, you know Well, she just never been hit. So what you're saying is this bitch needs to get hit a couple times. You know what I mean? Yeah, by a lady. I should hit her. Yeah

Does she do this a lot? Is she okay? No, she's fine. She's not fine. She's not fine. Do you see your tire? Let's get serious. Yeah, let's get serious. You see the line that separates these now come over here Come over here. Come on. This is just for fun and then look at this. I mean, it's just she's out of her fucking mind Yeah, she's wrong You're you need to stay within the lines But look look I'm perfectly between the lines. Yeah, I'm actually hugging at this side a little too much And then her see what's not helping is her daughter With her little panda backpack of grown-ass woman. I know it's so true

A fucking child's backpack is siding with her mom. Well, you have to Tom. You have to no Okay, if your mom was doing this nonsense, I'd be like mom No, I've done shit. My mom has done shit like this. So is my mom pops off at the mouth all the time Of course, she should have gotten her ass kicked years ago But I we've all my mom's kids. We've all been like mom. What the fuck are you talking about right now? And like that's usually how this situation gets resolved is that the logical person goes mom Yeah, your dad should have hit your mom a little bit more. No. No, that's not what I was saying Fuck you. Oh, there we go. Fuck you. And that's my little part of what I'm calling women crazy. Fucker

You're crazy. It's my mom right there a hundred percent. You little shit. You fucking old bitch Driving a car like that asshole. You're not happy man. I your old fart I am you're too old to be driving a car like that. It's too big for you. I'm in disbelief This is something you drive. I can do a little tiny pecker. So you need that that's your that is your dick, isn't it? You proud of your old fucking dick, but it's your car that you yeah, I can't get it up Viagra my ass Now you're getting off fighting with a woman. No, I'm I'm not fighting off fighting with a woman Uh, you stupid shit. She's so insane. I know it gives me anxiety. I can't watch her. Yeah, it looks like it

Is it I'm always saying this because she's asian I can't tell I would say yeah, like marinn county and what are you? What's your why are you saying because she's asian? I agree. I agree. Okay. It's not ellen. I don't feel like it's alhambra only because or monoray park That's where asians are. Okay. Although I dated a chinese guy for 40 years. They're everywhere Yeah, but that's where you go for good chinese because that's where they No Because then she'd have an accent. This could be fucking dallas. It could be anywhere

But I just my my asian instinct tells me it's san jose. All right. It is right. I don't know It's chino Little picker. I'm not fighting at all. Come on. He's gay. He sounds gay So that's why I guess northern california because he sounds Homosexual what he sounds like a gay guy. He sounds like a guy. No, he sounds like a gay guy. Does he sound gay to you? Of course, listen Yeah, oh Do you think that this guy would beat you up this guy? Yeah 100% no

No, because because he's gay now you're getting off fighting with a woman. No, I'm I'm not fighting off fighting with a woman You little He's not even aggressive, man. No, he's not aggressive. All right. I can't take this anymore. Keep going I'm not fighting at all Go on man, because I'll take you down instead of a bitch anytime. That's that's threatening, but it's not Let's see that's threatening, but it's not he sounds like the b52's guy He could be you know what I would do that because this bitch is about to walk in the home depot Is just park a little bit closer to her car. No, don't it's oh, you know what you just move

Here's a difference. A couple inches closer. The difference between Tom and me is that I do not encourage unnecessary conflict unnecessary You love it. You love the instagram fights I posted something very controversial on my account at the christina p on instagram And you went after bitches like crazy and I was like i'm out. I'm just here to enjoy the ride. Yeah, it was fun It's fun. That's why we're married. I know I was a cosby team I kept having fantasies about knowing that someone that we're breaking down mentally Thought about them crying at home. Yeah, okay. Listen. I fucking armpit hair. All right. All right. Listen

I have been dying to share this with you. Yeah, okay. What is it? You got to pay attention I need full attention phones down. Okay As you know, I did this last weekend at the acme comedy club in mini ample tits And just so people know the reason that Things are sometimes there's an intro separated the touring It's kind of wild and we and we don't ever want to miss a week. So we have to record things Separately from when right and tomorrow or it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. Oh, something's coming out here. Okay anyways

I did this weekend in mini ample tits and I had this wonderful opener named Ahmed khalaf Okay, okay. He goes by somal yun s o m o l l y a n on instagram. Give him a shout out because He's a black guy And he said I we were talking about the tried out guy. Yeah Yeah, and he goes it's homey on out. I go it's not homey on out we've done this before he goes it's homey on out and listen to me because He is talking to black guys who like to fuck and fuck good trying out the audience. He's addressing They are black guys and black guys would say

Homey on out home a man out. I mean, hello, doesn't that blow your mind right now? Well, no, I mean, I I thought that was always one of the theories on on it I never thought of it that way though that who he's speaking to they're black men So therefore the phrasing he would use would be like a you know black man. Oh, man. Oh Hold a man out He's street, you know, I mean he's trying to like oh, man. No Home home man out. I know I know it's it's look. It's uh, I mean it's the fucking Zapruder film, man It's oh, man. Oh

It's study it for generations If only there was some way to confirm what he was saying, you know I know I know this mystery man, but anyway, I was blown away by it. I thought it was pretty interesting I thought I would no, it's a great. It's a it is a great Contribution to the analysis of what is said there. I have always been Most leaning into either home here now or homey on out It's either. Oh, I think it's not it's ho a man out home. You know, or I'm home here now

Now the reason being he's addressing black guys, but he's also referring to his address and when he's he's clearly saying like This is the address come over Do these things to me? I'm home here now makes sense I'm just saying It could be you know, I know the debates go on. I get messaged all the time Sometimes when people sign off and they'll go by the way, it's it's homey on out You know, I mean like that'll be their sign off to a message about yes It's one of the world's greatest mysteries mysteries and what we may never know the truth

But for now, I'm gonna have fun speculating. I like it. I like it. Um, by the way before we go any further I want to make it clear that we are thrilled to be um Doing this podcast here and in the new space in our studio so to speak and uh, I want to uh, Encourage you if you have not to check out the two other podcasts. We are currently Producing the honeydew ryan sicklers podcast, which is fantastic. I just did it. I know it's out now

Um audio releases on monday's the video goes up on tuesdays On on this youtube channel You can look up the honeydew and download it subscribe everywhere podcasts are available And of course dr. Drew's podcast dr. Drew after dark that audio comes out on Thursdays and the video is up on fridays on this YouTube channel the ymh youtube channel that show has been exploding Um wildly popular out of the gate and thank you very much for supporting it. I love dru I love uh that his show is doing so well and sickle cells. What a wonderful show that is

Yeah, well that was just just getting started. It's gonna it's gonna get bigger and bigger. Yes. Um I just did uh hot ones truth or dab Which is their spin-off show cool? I think it is about if if it's uh based on the schedule talking to them As as this podcast comes out that might be hitting youtube right then or maybe it's the week after um, I did it with

Bertrand And the concept man, it is rough that one really fucked me up. So when you do hot ones You do progressively Hotter wings. Yeah, so you start with one and then you know, I mean it's mild Yes, it's a little bit spicier and then you build up truth or dab is like truth or dare But if you don't want to tell the truth The only thing the only option is you eat a wing with the spiciest So you start at a 10. Oh my god. That's great

I was crying and you sweat and so it sounds like you took a lot of dabs Oh, yeah, man. I mean he was asking you things. You're like, I can't fucking answer this shit You came I was on the phone with you yesterday. Whenever it was you finished filming it. I was on the road And you're like, I got a shit. I got to go. I did Sean's new show and I have to go take a dump Dude, I had a couple shits in me. Um, it's cool because they do, uh He do duos. Mm-hmm. So, um Uh They had tiffani haddish. Love haddish. Love Kevin Hart

Bert and I I think there's another one and we're talking about like Be good for like other comedy duos to go into, you know, like I don't know. I shop to probably do it. Oh, he'd be great. Yeah, but like it's like you do it with like Callan or he's got that other uh show with the mouse guy And then there's like, um, I don't know like maybe my favorite murder. That's two hosts You know, uh, Karen and uh, Georgia, I think is her name So there's all these like, uh, combos, but it's like it's a hilarious concept because When you're eating that you actually get into a delirium. It's like doing shots

So the further along the show gets You're so uncomfortable that he asks you something and you might just spit something out I'm glad I'm not doing that. No, I mean spit out like a thought. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, because you're like you're so uncomfortable What a great show. Thank you, Sean It's really fun to watch people get uncomfortable. Yeah, people love it. Um, anyways, so we went to A lager game last night Yep, and I could not stop licking my chops. It was really Really obvious. It was the white boys at school don't have dicks like that

You were really into it. I was really licking my chops. Um Now here's the deal. Oh, here's your instagram account. Yeah, you posted a few videos of us yesterday at the game That's what the uh, you want to show it? This is what the well that one's. Yeah, that one's christina right there There's the guys warming up and then look at christina just licking her lips unbelievable man And then drip daddy dollars right there. Check out This is uh, just the laker girls right there. Yeah, the laker girls and then you turn there and look at me Yeah, I was looking at my chops so dumb

And then there you are with your ridiculous listen with my fendi on my fendi fresh Can I tell you that my ancestors my relatives would be so stoked on your top This is a nice top tommy. This is a good jacket. Very nice very expensive looking jacket This is you're making every eastern blocker proud homie. Yeah, I love this look. I love it. Hey man I'm so excited that you're finally remember we ran into that dude. It was like did you buy that? Yeah, yeah, very nice jacket very expensive looks very nice tommy. Good work. Yeah Good colors very expensive nice patterns. Nice pattern. They're very good. You need the gold chain That's what everybody said. Everybody said the gold chain is what's missing man. Yeah

So we went to the Laker game super fun. I was very disappointed though because lebron was not playing last night. Yeah Yeah, he's got some injury And I have to say they're just resting him because he's not gonna well And first of all as we all know lebron's amazing to watch So I like that and I feel like he has one of the biggest hogs on the team Compression shorts or not. I feel like I see it move and swing and work and what yeah And I was kind of disappointed In how many white guys there were on the court because it was the utah jazz

Yeah, which they by law they have to have like seven white guys. What are you talking about in uh in utah That's a it's actual law Why because of the population demographics and they feel like there's a disproportionate number of white guys On the team that they have to have more white guys in their sport. That's racist. It's a little it's a pretty controversial thing It should be that's stupid should be who's ever the best. You know, they don't care there. They're like no It's gotta be some more white guys. Ew same thing. You know if you look at their college teams byu They have like a lot of white guys. Oh, that's terrible. It's terrible and it's terrible for the fans. It's also completely made up It's not true. Oh, so

You got me but But there were a lot of white guys playing like yeah, I didn't like it. What are these discount tickets? I didn't like it at all. Yeah, because you know, they're not carrying Shit in their pants. That's not why we watch basketball It's not why you watch basketball. Do you just care about the dicks? That's it. Of course. Why do you think I like them box seats? I want to get the floor seats now that no, I got to keep you off the floor All right, at least take a little uh like a saucepan hold under your mouth for all the drool You're gonna be

I loved it I love those lakers. Yeah, you can't really see junk though. No, you can't when LeBron runs No, you cannot I can I got my binocs I look down on there and bring it in here's where a suit you couldn't see Of course, I like to look dude. He was wearing his suit But he had those big old clown shoes on Did you see that he was wearing nice sneakers? But they look like fucking clown shoes because of how big his feet are. Hey, what do you think?

I think they're probably pretty big. Oh my god. I think he has probably big feet. Hell. Yeah, dude Let's see. Let's do those fools out the biggest penis Jesus Christ, you know what I love so much at the Laker games It's my favorite thing when they put um the people in the audience on the big jumbotron thing And they get to see themselves. I can watch that all day size 15 Look at that foot. Well, yeah, I mean your professional basketball player feet gonna get fucked up mangled. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's the price. That's the cost for being the boss. It is. Yeah, damn homie How much to put those totesies in your mouth?

I don't even want to Speaking of totesies, you're sat next to some nice totesies on a plane. You got to bring that up blue band. You're gonna die Yeah, again, it's on my instagram account the christina p look at it. You're gonna die. I so I get on first class Oh I'm gonna barf I'm gonna fucking vomit again. It's sat next to you dude. I was sitting next to this guy. This is in first class He he comes in all lumbering saying that you're really letting people know Well, because people were like, oh, that's what you get for being a coach. I'm like, but I don't fly coach and then

He came in And wheezing and he had a huge fucking pot belly like a booze bag belly and he was like And then he sits down next to me and I see this so he's wearing a flip-flop and it looks like half a compression sock And his feet are just all different colors the toes are different colors and then the big toenail is rotting off It's got A green gang. It looks like gangrene. How much how much to put them in your mouth? No, no, how much LeBron's or his foot. Yeah LeBron's all day. Why because there's no fungus or like You don't think there's fungus on LeBron's didn't look like it. Really? It looked pretty jacked

Well, whose foot would you put in your mouth this guy or LeBron's? Yeah, LeBron's. Yeah Anyways, and then he reeks of booze. It's the morning, of course He orders more alcohol and then he tells me he's a missionary and he goes i'm going I just came from the Philippines and now i'm flying to Uganda. I'm like, I wouldn't with those open sores on your feet You nasty as hell. You should wear some closed-toe shoes to Uganda. Don't you think? Can you believe this fool got on a plane like this, bro? Yeah, people are fucking crazy open seating sores flights with shoes like that um tank tops

That's a disgusting to arm pits out chest out Chet armpit flakes everywhere bags of food They're crazy people are so disrespectful. I mean, I think even like I tell you as a city dweller I think wearing flip flops in the street Is inappropriate to begin with if you live in a major city, dude You could step on needles cockroaches vomit dog shit, but to get on a plane with your feet out. It's just it's not hygienic It's not cool. It's not cool to other people, right? No, it's just disrespectful I know people are gonna be like

People flip flops. I don't fucking care It's gross. It's nasty. You nasty, bro. That's airborne all that nasty shit. I'm sitting right now I'm like, oh my god, and he wants to talk to me. Oh, it's so fucking gross. I hate everybody Don't you just hate everybody? Well, this is what makes commercial travel air travel in america is just it's goddamn disgusting It's like a greyhound bus. Yeah You know who's got it together are the asians they do they have they fly more respectfully. I'm serious They do when I was in the I was in Macau and Hong Kong Singapore

It's just like a different culture of like nobody boards would like there's gonna stink You know It's got like I just pissed on myself, but you know, I gotta fly no one's like that Well, that's and they treat you like really nice in economy Like I flew a Cathay Pacific, which is like the the big airline. I think it's Hong Kong's airline Yeah, and you know the flight attendants treat you we flew economy like civilized people really nice And they served you meals in economy. Yeah, it's nice. It's really really nice. It's very good

So there was that. Um, oh, I have a submission for you. Um, this is from a guy on instagram He DM'd me it goes by jibba hone J-i-b-b-a-h-o-e-h-n he suggested a name for women who Have sex with Comedians. Oh, what is it? ready Yeah, a joker poker. That's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's um, it's also kind of g-rated It's g-rated. It's not as disgusting as a giggle gash

Like josh potter proposed. It's a good one. Giggle gash is good. It's not good. It is good. It's nasty Um, by the way before balala balala Oh, balala balala The waterchamp water bottle sold out of course It's the best so we reordered it should back in the store Uh, dr. Drew's you shouldn't prolapse your anus shirt Also sold very well. Uh, thank you for supporting it Because the waterchamp thing is so big people like it so much

We have waterchamp your mom's house socks. Love it. We've been doing these socks for about a year different Logos, there's like bikes one dj dad mouth piss on me beat me And now waterchamp. These are awesome. So those are in the store. Thank you very much for your Support those are really cool Yeah, piss on me beat me homie on out. Jesus christ. Oh my god. This is christy black dick Hello I'm available. That's christina right there. That's the laker game. That was you. I record you Did you mention the id?

I don't have yet. So oh my god, you're gonna get you guys. Mommy's you think you're a diehard mommy of the show You think you love your mom's house. I met a couple This weekend. This is insane in momma soda. I've never heard. I could not believe this is real. I know in many apple tits um, eson and isabella Karam is their last name. They are a married couple and they had their legal middle names Changed to be jeans And i'm not even kidding and I said could you please send me a copy of your id card and I looked at it

and I even asked to be verified that this is a real id card by the um Whatever the security guy there. I said yeah, believe these two Diehard mommies had their middle names legally changed to jeans. Isn't that bananas? Yeah We gotta we're gonna get in touch with them. I know they they email me so I have their email Okay, yeah, I mean I feel like we have to send them a swag bag at the least if you uh change Your name legally to an inside joke from this podcast You get in a shirt bra That's wild. Do you know what a hassle it is to change your name? Yeah, it takes a lot of social security office

DMV that's that's devotion. Thank you very much. Yes, um isabella and eson eson eson eson Thank you. Unreal. They're so cute. Yeah, I couldn't believe it That's the first I've never seen that one on your mom's house. Oh, you know how that lady was about to fight Do you have that other group fight that we were gonna have you seen this fight? This shit was crazy, man this was like, uh, I think it's in a parking garage And this is where I don't know why fights always happen in parking. Yeah Parking areas. I'm pretty sure this is a garage. Well, it's infuriating to park and drive. Oh, yeah Right, that looks like George Perez. Oh, no

You mean shotgun? Men and women look at this shit, man Oh my god That chick just barfed on her She's puking on them Tom Tom Tom

Oh my god Oh my god. What is that? She's she's using it as a weapon guys. She's using it as a weapon Oh my god How dare you put this in our file take this off you did it I didn't do it. Yes, you did you asked him to show it. No, I didn't I didn't I swear I didn't you're the worst Oh, turn it off turn it off God

Tom I really didn't do that. Yes, you did. I swear. I didn't ask him Ask him you just asked him to pull up the footage. He showed it to me Yeah, so you knew that there was barf. I thought that there might be No, I was the one that prepped everything Christina. I'm not listening to you talk. You're now a trader blue man It's over babe It's not and I know you guys trick me. There's gonna be another one I'm gonna put my earbuds in there's more barf's gonna happen. No, it's not. Yeah, huh? No, it's not It's fine. You swear. Yes. I promise. I won't touch your painter for like a month if you like me. I double promise

Okay Go ahead. Okay. What's with the jeans? All right All right And by the way, um A few weeks ago we introduced the idea of we have the sponsor Manscape that has all this great stuff Yes, uh like ball trimmers and ball wipes and it has like body wash all this stuff Anyways, they sent me a second kit. They sent two of them So I discussed with you guys that we would have a little contest amongst the staff here

But who gets the second one, but do you guys have an idea for how to do it? I mean, we've been thinking, uh, you know, whoever has Uh, the longest strand of hair that needs manscaping It's probably a good way to decide who needs it. I like it. That is the grossest thing I've ever heard Are you are you not embarrassed to show? Like me or longest pew because I know I'm gonna lose I know I'm not gonna get it So are you gonna do are we gonna do photos of your pubic area?

Photos of a pubic area. I mean, I thought we were just Yeah, we're gonna yank out a strand That is so and then tom as the judge has to take a measuring tape to it And then make sure yeah, and it'll be double placebo. So you won't know who's is who Are you sure you want to do this? Oh, it's really disgusting. I think we'll know who's is who's I mean one of you is a red-haired jewish guy The heads of your does your Judaism show in your pubes? It sure does. It does. Yeah, he's a red-haired jew very curly. Okay And then is there is uh, is everyone gonna participate?

Um, I think it's gonna be who's here in this room. It's gonna be either me chris or or potter And I mean my money's on pot. I mean, and here's the thing. When can we get our see those pubes, man? We're really We could do it in the break if you want okay announced next week. Wow, that'd be really great Do you want to do it on the show though looking at the pubes and you deciding well? I mean right now that we'd have to like stop Oh, right, but you're gonna pull your pubes at break and then you're gonna bring the pubes in like on the paper or something This week and next week. Yeah. Yeah, we will have pubes that tom will have personally measured himself

Oh, you got to do it on the show. You have to measure them on Yeah, of course. I mean the audience wants to hear your assessment. I want the pubes taped To a piece of paper and a ruler. Yeah, I don't put a number Tape over it. Yeah, it'll be like person a person b person. Yeah. We'll have no idea who's this person you see how he didn't gender it Yeah, I love that. Well, there's three persons in there right now. You know nice persons Um, all right, man, you guys are so nasty. You're gonna have to measure their dirty pubes. Tommy. It's cool Have a long tongue Whose pubes are you most afraid of wait? Why do you drosh is asking why you think they're all dirty?

Dude, because you guys are all nasty. You guys are all nasty Yeah, I mean your dudes So all dudes are just now. I would say I would say of the three of you the pubes I would want Yeah, what are the pubes that you'd want to measure Most want to measure to least yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's go by hygiene. I'm just going on hygiene I'm not going to go on anything else other than like my perceived What what hygiene level right? I'm going to go third place Potter right is the nasty. That's the nastiest. He's nasty. He's the nastiest. Oh my god. You guys are so disgusting

Josh just said that he shampoos his dick and it's very offended very offended I bet josh wash dick. Well, because he gets he actually gets he's sticking it in everywhere. Yeah, I know But that doesn't mean anything sometimes. Okay, so number two. I'm going to go with you blue band Okay, and then first place is chris. He's the cleanest. I think chris is the cleanest really He's real happy about that. Well, I've I've caught whiffs of him and he smells nice. Really? I haven't smelled you too I've not smelled you too. So I don't know. Well, they're both smoke machines too. Oh, that's what it. Yeah Josh smokes way more than me though. So he definitely smells worse. Yeah

No, I'll agree on that The cigarettes make you smell. Yeah Has he come yet? Has josh come yet? Yeah, josh. Have you come yet? No, he says no Nothing has helped at all. Do you guys want an update? Should he be in the same? Yeah, let's hear it. What's that? Do you got sure? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because last time we spoke josh had mentioned like a trauma that he remembered What? Yeah, and I we need some more clarification josh. Remember you mentioned a trauma thing Yeah, I know I uh had a revelation with dr. Drew. This just happened in that conversation with him. Yeah, he came out he

Made me realize something. What's that? Uh, since I was born premature I was left in an incubator for a long time and apparently I have abandonment issues stemming from that from that Yeah, I don't remember that but he said that's the worst kind of abandonment issues Is is being premature? No, is that I don't remember it or oh really put me on this trajectory apparently But can anyone remember? You know, and he also said that uh my Uh propensity to do opioids in my early days Might have stunted my come forever

Not to spoil the episode wait a minute though. Can I ask you something? Yeah, what opioids were you into? Uh pergocets and you were doing them a lot. Yeah when I had eye surgery. I got pretty into those Yeah, and that can Ruin the function. Yeah, because it's just uh, you don't have that Satisfaction ever again dulls everything. What about has has the real uplifting stuff. He told me He made me hopeful. What about the um, you know the goal the the theory that we were kind of Oh, he uh, he did prescribe me weird sex. He said I have to have as much and more weird sex. Really? Yeah, so that was the best thing I ever heard from a doctor

Hell, what do you mean? He's like he's like that might be the key to this hole. Yeah Like stop your standard missionary shit. Yeah, he's like why waste time with that kind of like, you know vaginal shit, right? Oh, vaginal. Let's get into something. No, he didn't say the specifics. He just said try some weirder shit Yeah, which I'm completely on board with by the way. There's got to be plenty of hose out there that are on board with it too I mean, I would hope so DM's coming in. They're still coming here and there, you know I I'm putting pins on the map for the make josh come to her 2020 Are we are we gonna sign we're gonna set that thing up? We gots to dude. I mean the melrose daddy's d is getting Yeah, itchy over here and it was great right you the melrose show was great. It was fun

Thank you for coming by the way if you came to that. Um, that was a lot of fun Yeah, we need us to make job to come to her has the the the theory that the smoke show Is the key to it all I think are we leaning into that? Yeah, of course. I mean it couldn't hurt Yeah, you know, it's not like a troll is the remedy. I mean, you know what I'm saying like Dr. Drew definitely didn't say that shit wait when let me ask you a question josh. Yeah When a doctor Gives you medicine. What does he do? He? Blank medicine he prescribes he what prescribes prescribes. Is that wrong prescribes? What's he said prescribes?

He he what? Say it again Oh prescribes. Is this one wrong too? Yeah, it's wrong. What is it? It's prescribed prescribed No, it's not. Yes Prescribed prescribe. Yeah prescribe. Yes. It doesn't prescribe. No, it's not prescribed prescribed. No Is that wrong well, it's elementary it's not prescribed it's elementary school

Yeah, it's not that Yeah, it's prescribed prescribe. Yeah prescribes. Even when it's sex. Yeah Um, okay, so you know you have to just bang a bunch of slides. Yeah, we're just gotta try some stuff out. Yeah So, uh, I'm down for more reps more experimentation I'm up for it all. Okay So 2020 I'm coming to your town and hopefully I'm coming in your town Elementary It is elementary

Um, all right. Let's set up this episode. So this was pretty awesome. Um, this is ret and link Oh, they're so sweet. If you guys don't know these guys have a YouTube channel that they have multiple youtube channels actually they like downplayed how many youtube channels they they're like We got a couple and one of them has 15 million subscribers another one has like just like five um and a few more These are like og youtube guys who could not be nicer. Oh my god Um, we've I found out in during this interview That even some of the content that they created we actually played on this show

as funny content Maybe eight years ago very early days of mom's house because of like how Funny the the stuff was there. Anyway, they're super funny. They're super talented. They're super successful and they are Very open and accessible and I think it's a fascinating. I'm always fascinated by successful people and and what they do and I love The business of it all and learning and these guys were so open to you know, telling the story of it I just thought it was a fascinating Yeah, they were a great interview and I also like that we kind of got to see a little hidden dynamic between

Oh, yeah, so if you pay attention guys, uh, we got to see a little marital spat And let's just say that one of them's a little more ride or die than the other Enjoy retinling your mom's house will be right back if you love hardcore porn our next guests don't need any introduction Now the um the founders of youtube retin link are here. Okay. Yeah That was quite a swing. I know I don't know where to go with it. I like you guys have built I'm like endlessly. I think we all are endlessly fascinated by non traditional um, like explosive

Careers in entertainment that aren't like I'm on a tv show. Right. I'm in a movie and you guys have built this Unbelievable youtube following an empire. Yeah, you guys build an empire and it's like it's I mean, it's fascinating I just want to know I mean, first of all, you guys are North Carolinians, right? Yeah, and you know, I born and raised I went to school in North Carolina Hickory, man Hickory, North Carolina. That's as North Carolina as North Carolina gets I mean, it really is do you love furniture because we're the furniture capital I love some good furniture. Is that where the big chair is?

I don't know the big chair is not there But they used to swing that furniture capital thing around like they would not let you forget it When you were there, you're like this place sucks and they're like it's furniture Yeah, don't forget that. So have you gotten over furniture since you've left? Nah, I'm addicted. Look at this shit I love furniture. That is a big desk, man. I love it, man. Um, is that hickory? This is not hickory Wait, where are you from in North Carolina? A little town called Buies Creek What is a little town? Yeah, how many people? A thousand people. Oh my god

A thousand people when school's not in session. Campbell University, another small school. Where's Buies Creek? In between Raleigh and Fayville Okay, it's my one of my good friends is from Randleman Randleman? Randleman is Randall County That's towards the mountains too, right? Well, Randleman's out near out towards Raleigh. It's where, what's his name? The king is from? What's the uh, Petty, Petty's from Randleman Yeah, Richard Petty. He's from Randall North Carolina Oh, okay

That's how Casey says Now, but you guys are from the same place, right? Because then you grow up together. It's first grade. You've been best friends Yeah, I was born and raised there and Rhett moved There for first grade. Wow. That's that's when this started and this is where this ends. This is ridiculous. This is it This is circle. It's clearly on a decline that you're here, but I'm saying But like you guys so you guys are just buds like in school and yeah Yeah, like You know doing the whole biking around town. Hey, listen, we lived on the opposite sides of town

Which wasn't that far. So it was like, all right, we would meet at the cemetery In the middle of our bike routes and then we would you know, pick a way to go depending on after desecrating some graves You guys have to know some scandalous shit about each other Yeah Yeah, they definitely do See, I knew you were gonna rip us apart I'm just saying you know, you know where he buried the bodies, right? You know, for sure No, we didn't actually desecrate any bodies

You don't have to desecrate it to bury it. That's true. I just want to clarify that. That's true Well, we did knows what to do with a dead body. We did jump over a uh A dead Cal that had died in the midst of childbirth. Oh Just want to bring it down. Wow everybody. Yeah, we would frequent a cow pasture. Yeah And just I don't know who's who were the farmer was or anything, but we would go there and we would Chase the cows like on foot It's a very exhilarating feeling to have cows scatter out in front of you. I don't know, you know

If you've had if you've had the privilege of doing no, I've never even milked a cow I mean, I grew up here in the San Fernando Valley. We've we've milked. You should definitely do it. I know I kind of want to Oh Really, it's real. Yes. Yeah, it feels right This is definitely what I should be doing. It's warm. It's all warm. Yeah, it's warm. It's not it's unpasteurized So what does that taste like homogenized? Yeah, it tastes like milk. Yeah, does it taste different? It tastes different Yeah, the score is so small It's it's just it you can't really get more than a mouthful

Does it feel wholesome or kinky because it kind of I don't know a little both. It feels like we're wholesome meats kinky Yeah, I can see that. Yeah lips on the udder. That's the Wholesome meats kinky. Well, I didn't put my lips on it. Yeah, it's kind of it was more of a It means more video you put your lips up to it. You're like, yeah, I mean it's more video. You know, what's it like? Oh, it was for a video I thought you like how I go to sleep man. I just go out to the barn I didn't want to clarify. Yeah, but when we were chasing cows, we weren't doing it in order to then milk directly into our mouths Yeah, yeah, this is a different idea different as adults

Wait, so you guys have been friends for forever like your entire life. Basically Yeah, have you ever had the kind of fights where you don't talk for like months? No No, you've never gone through. I mean we fight all the time. Do you? Oh, yeah What do you guys fight? Do you fight about like content or just we get definitely? Yeah, we have we have like The way we approach things creatively Is kind of our strength and weakness in in our relationship. So In that I kind of try to move things forward He tries to finish them and so that's kind of we're kind of constantly battling right

With that but and then we just I mean it's more like an old married couple or brothers in that Sure. He has a married too. Yeah, all the things that Uh A normal person might find endearing about link. I find annoying and vice versa It looks emphasize the vice versa Like get lost. I mean we also fight about I mean, I'm the one I get my feelings get hurt. So I'm the feelings get hurt guy Yeah, well, maybe my feelings get hurt and I just you know, I don't show it. Well, I oh interesting

But I would just say that's a gracious way. Maybe I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve You're the asshole who hurts my feelings guy. Okay is how I'm really Is what I'm really trying to say. I'm totally starting to figure out this thing. I love it But can you tell when he's hurt even though he doesn't have to say it? No, no, so you don't you know when he's hurt. I think it's that big of a problem. Yeah Yeah, big a problem to express emotion and Yeah, I have therapy. Yeah, so are we aggressive go ahead. I love it. Yeah, because because I think that Being able to you first you have to be able to to feel like my therapist asked me things like

so What do you feel and I'm like Feel yeah, what is that? Then what do I feel and then he's like, but where like where do you feel it? And I'm like, this is getting weird. Yeah, I feel it right here. Yeah, you know And so Yeah, so I could see how it would be difficult if you were interacting with me to know that I was having an issue Sure without me saying it

But isn't that a big deal that you're actually kind of addressing it and talking about it? Well, according to my wife It's a really big Super stoked about that. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's good. It's good. And I do think it's I mean we've talked about Well, you guys understand this we we've talked about Anytime we started thinking about Something we're going to do a conversation we're going to have even Recently talking about let's do something where we see a um

Like a uh, a couple's therapist, but for our friendship not that there's it's falling apart But that because we actually said wouldn't this be a great podcast? Yeah Because you had this tendency to want to monetize every yeah every conversation. Sure. Sure. Yeah Again, that was that was my idea Well, that's why I said but then you were like, I know I'm not trying to take credit for the idea I'm just saying that we ended up deciding it wasn't a good idea. Right. Well, I don't know what it actually is I think it could be a good idea at some point

But you know once you know, I have to I have to learn what body part is feeling what before I can have that kind of I don't know if I would know how to answer that Like what what body part hurt because you need to be in therapy as well Do you do you go to therapy? Would you go? Oh, yeah, definitely independently. Yeah, I don't want to go to the same therapist. No, that's my idea Oh, yeah, no, yeah, of course. So I'm not gonna do that because I've already turned him against you. Yeah He's more sure than that Exactly. I gotta have somebody on my side. It's like we're gonna. Yeah, we're gonna have like can you have a therapy battle where you're like

You bring your therapist. You need to bring your therapist. Sure. Do you guys have different therapists? That's a video I would click a few times Like you have your there like retinas therapists are like, man, you're guys are dead I would love that. This is a good idea. Yeah, this is good. Oh, I would watch that. I want in I want in on this action All right. Yeah So anyway, the cow was pregnant and so It was bloated and but the calf had made it halfway out I mean, it was I didn't want to not go back to yeah, I don't want to hear it. This is terrible

We went up to it and We just like stood there and looked at it. Oh my god. It was like it's one of the most Memorable moments of our childhood. Yeah. Oh, is that right? Because we just like stood there and then There we go. I'm sorry. We were like, we got to Get this thing in my mouth when you encounter something like that. You feel the need to like say Meaningful things. Yeah. So I don't remember. I don't remember what we said But we said some things that were meaningful to 12 year olds or however old we were and then

one of us said You think we can jump over it That's such a boy little boy. It is. We started jumping over it. Yeah, that's awesome. Big risk, you know, yeah If you if you can't it's that's a big mess Yeah, right. It looked like it was explosive. Yeah, it was it was ready to go at any moment Do you both still go back to carolina? All the families there every every one there maybe once It's it's almost it's just once a year now though. Like sometimes twice

Usually just once. It's kind of a little like a holiday thing at this point. It is. Yeah, and um, so when you guys Did you guys you went to high school together too? Yeah in college in college? What is he saying? What? Yeah, a wolf pack. Yeah. It's awesome. I've never lived alone because um, you know, I moved out of the house into the college dorm with him and then Uh got engaged and married right out of college. So I moved out of our apartment into Holy shit like a house with my wife. So it's like I never I've never experienced that living by myself. It's great Well, I I mean

I didn't either it's the best. We're an only child though. Oh My mom there. Yeah. Yeah She's gone a lot though. Your mom. So were you a latchkey kid? A little bit. Yeah, I guess only child. It wasn't physically a latch What is a what is physical? It means you have a key to your own home and then after school You you just let yourself in if my mom kept me in like a cellar. Yeah, we'll have a latch That's why I don't really call latch. Yeah, latchkey kids are often like that or yeah, they're prisoners of yeah

Yeah, I could go I could go and come as I pleased Yeah, that's kind of cool. Yeah It was it was all right. So wait, tell me about so when you guys graduate Do you have the aspirations the goals of of what you do now or not at all? There was no point of reference for it. So rewinding a little bit in high school We we both had this idea that we wanted to go to film school Right. And so We kind of just did things in we weren't gonna we were going to make a decision together

There's that great one in carolina Carolina school the arts, right? Yeah, but like we didn't have we didn't even know about that Like we just didn't you know, is this a different time? But we were those guys with the video camera like doing the school project and like Stuff like that. So this is kind of like one is the internet. Sorry. Oh, yeah One is that this was we graduated from high school in 96. So okay, this would you know early 90s Okay, we're close to I graduated 94. Okay, 97. So whatever anyways And so I told my dad was like we're thinking about going to film school and he was like, well

I'm not gonna pay for that. No, of course Because he had no point of reference either. Sure. He's All our parents are like super supportive at this point and my dad would have been a stand-up if he wasn't a law professor I mean, he's he hit that's his audience at this at this point, but he uh He was he just expected just to do something normal So we both were good at math and so and some friends were going to nc state if you go to nc state You do engineering if you're good at math. So we both got engineering. Right. I saw that yeah

What and then did that because that's so you let when you graduated you went got engineering jobs. Yeah, what? Yeah, yeah, and uh, yeah, I was I was a civil engineer. I designed like, um drainage systems for power plants I have a degree in philosophy. What'd you say? I feel better about your success knowing how smart you are It's crazy. I mean talking about it makes me feel worse. You know, it's like Four years of calculus. Oh my god. Do you know how many how many engineers engineers out there want to murder you? They're like I studied all this shit and here I am fucking figuring out drainage actually doing it

Yeah, and then these two dicks make videos They're so upset Okay, I feel good. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I don't even know what calculus is like. I didn't even make it that far Math classes I failed. I'm not serious. I'm not kidding. I got to I moved my freshman year at high school We moved down to florida varro beach and I went to they threw me into whatever the it was algebra one Failed like f f f This is you're the worst student Then they next year I took geometry and I actually got a b and I was like, maybe I'm good at math. Yeah, and then

Junior year. They're like, well, you failed Algebra one you got to take it again, right? I took algebra one twice as well And I was failing straight up and the math teacher was also an assistant football coach. He's like, I'll give you a D I'll hook you up with a D and then Uh freshman year in college. They had like a remit like the other gives you take one math class for this track I failed it And then senior year of college. They're like the only way you can graduate college

From linoarine is to take that remedial math class again. So I was a senior with all freshmen Oh, wow, and the the guy was like, you're so bad. You're the worst student I've ever had And I saw he had a magazine about boats On his desk when I was like, I love boats. Yeah, and he was like, oh really nice. I talked about I made a boat connection I started reading about boats talking about boats. He gave me a C Oh my god But I would stay after class and be like you see that new 20-foot super sport that came out like just talked to him about boat. He was like, that's pretty cool

Just connected on that and that's that's a great strategy. We're talking like ski boats Finding that you're not talking about like sailboats in this area. Just motorbike. Yeah, you know like What do they call that inboard? But that's a good life skill like that's the kind of stuff I want to teach our children Be dumb but know how to talk that's what's up. Yeah, because that's all that's better in life, right? That's a more useful skill. Yeah, that and I encourage a little bit of lying You should lie in your teen years as well to your parents I'm going to a movie when you're really making out with your boyfriend right that kind of you gotta lie to your boss

Yes, little things not big things not the irs and stuff like that, but a little you know, yeah No, it's true. There's a lot of loopholes But like what you did you kind of manipulated your teacher. No, I totally did Also because I had no out because I was like if I don't do this, it's like I'm gonna not graduate You know about boats. It's true. Well, it's true a very important skill more than that You were like hanging out on the weekends on that dude's boat Like you never like going knee boarding or something. That's right. No, I know He was he was kind of weird

He was do you guys sleep in the same bed? Did you show your bed? I had all kinds of teachers that just liked me Yeah, like they genuinely liked me and only in the subjects that was horrible Oh, yeah chemistry the guy was like god. Do you really not get this? You're the dumbest student I've ever had but you're nice and yeah, yeah, that's what he was just like into it You are attractive. Yeah. Yeah. He was like you are pretty cute though. How about a mouth kiss? I kissed him Before I forget you guys and I we're both the day we're a day apart. We're doing the Nashville comedy festival That's right. You guys are April 9th. I'm April 10th. We're both at the Ryman And there are no tickets available. So

Have you have you done anything in the Ryman weave have not I've never I've never done it I've heard it's in a beautiful space and uh people a lot of friends have done played there and they said it's uh Like an awesome awesome venue and what do you guys do in your live show by the way? It's uh comedy music So okay two stools a guitar Lots of songs. I mean that's the first thing we did on youtube were We put the funny songs that we had written over the previous years But you're doing this like putting those on youtube you're doing that youtube existed Uh, but you're engine like you're working as engineers during the day. Yeah, we would get together like once a week

One night a week and like right Together and then we were we were in college. We would you know Yeah, we did the video thing. But then we also did the hey, we wrote a funny song guys Sit on the couch. We're gonna play it for you kind of thing. So it's like it's a hobby. It's like oh, this is fun Right. Yeah, and they and so we started doing some like uh small college stuff and like performing yeah, okay, and But so then we created our website. This is like

Oh three So we were like, oh, we need to create create a website so that We made just like oh five right am I wrong? Yeah, and we got in a 06. Damn very few people got in 05 That's when it like started like in the summer of 05 Uh, but we so we like we're putting these music videos on our website So people who saw us live could see The videos but then people started taking like so we did that for a couple years not really going anywhere And then people started taking those videos and downloading from the website because it was back in the day

Had like host your own video like using your own server People had a quick time pro. They could just I remember right click on the video. Yeah And they were taking it downloading it and then uploading it to youtube and we were but is that helping in a way like because it's sharing it, right? Yeah, because We hundreds of people had seen our videos on our website right and then somebody uploaded Uh, we did this our kids were really young like my son was a couple months old probably and and and his daughter was like a year We did a parody of mpvs pent my ride pent my stroller basically completely tricked out this stroller and Somebody took that and uploaded to youtube and it got like a thousand views in a

Week or something and you guys were like, whoa, this is crazy. That's way bigger than any place. We've ever played Um, and so we started doing it intentionally in 06 and then in 07 We started it as a business Wow, and then is that when you realize is that when you stop working engineering jobs? Yeah So 07 you're ready to like make the leap. Yeah, we yeah I can't remember the first I'm with the first paying gig was but we essentially started making

We would this is before you could make money off of youtube with ads because it when it started there were no ads Um and before google bought it and everything so what we would do is we would make Phone calls like we wrote a song about the game cornhole. Uh-huh in the midwest, you know, right? Of course, so we wrote like this sort of country song about cornhole And uh, we were like surely some cornhole company Out there would sponsor this thing. So we like we would call we would go on a website that sold cornhole equipment and like call the number And like one was like this mom who was like running the business out of her garage and she was like I just don't have any money

And then we like but then we were like really you sell cornhole equipment on the internet But we found these other get these other guys who were like three guys about our age Who were starting this new business in like Ohio and they were really excited about it They love the idea of like doing some kind of like viral marketing And so like we with the help of my dad I like wrote up this contract We had no idea like we were like maybe we should just say we get paid I think what we said was we're like we want two thousand dollars to make the video And then if you could give us twenty dollars for every

Thousand views after that. Yeah For two years And the thing is getting like two or three million views We hadn't you know, we had no idea what we were doing you sued them right? Destroy their lives like you signed that fucking shit. Yeah, I mean I think they paid us they did What they did wow But I'm assuming it it also benefited them in a great way. Oh, yeah, they were like they made some good cornhole boys AJJ cornhole. They're still paying us. We did a which camera

Forget my ignorant, I don't know what cornhole. I mean, I know what cornholing is Right, you but you've seen the game with the the big it's like a tilted board And you throw the beanbag. Oh, yeah, uh-huh. There's another name for it. Okay I think it's the real og's I think beanbag toss beanbag toss. Yeah, it's not it's got corn in the bag Yeah, and that gives it that that right Yes, when it hits the board you like it makes you want to take another swig of your beer because it is What we believed at the time to be the next olympic sport and the only one where you could drink beer because because we didn't know about The shimmy shimmy game. What's that? Oh, yeah, full board shuffleboard. No the olympic. No the curling curling

Yeah, I think you can drink a beer while doing that too. Oh for sure. When you make that cornhole video Yeah, and it starts to take off. Are you like, we're this is it that we did the right like this is what we should be doing Yeah, yeah, I mean like you He's like, yeah, yeah, I mean like we started we started doing that with other other products We would just call and you just randomly just cold call people Yeah, and and now you had some reference to be like check these out, right? Yeah, uh, and then in 08 This advertising advertising agency called And they wanted to it's Alka Seltzer. They represented Alka Seltzer and they wanted us to do like a bunch of food themed videos

and they had originally they had talked to the sclar brothers about doing this and I think they probably They were probably smart enough to like charge price and appropriate for it. Uh-huh Um, we were desperate and we were like but it ended up. I mean it was a it again I don't remember what the the the price was but it was not a lot to make 21 videos over the course of the summer and they were gonna like take us in this RV around the u.s. And we were gonna like show up at a place and

Create something. Yeah And so Yeah, I remember the first day of that guys undercut the sclars. Yeah Well, we met him after that and they didn't seem to care They were cool with it But I remember the first day when we showed up on location and they're like, all right, here's your rv And I'm like, damn they got a nice rv Right and it's like the whole team is

Lined up out there and there's like canadian riders that they flew in and it was probably Eight or nine people lined up and they're like, all right, here's the rv And we're like, okay, let's go and we start getting on the rv and we turn around and they're like standing there and we're like Okay, we're ready and they're like, yeah And they had just given us the rv and then they all got in like a 16 passenger van and followed us around the country Really? And we felt horrible. We felt really guilty. Like we I mean now I'd be like, yeah I was like naive and you know, all the money that they didn't spend on us they spent on like our

That's awesome and Coors Light. They kept giving us Coors Light. You can't drink Coors Light to this day because it just When you're in the back of an rv rv Oh, yeah No good Like they would open the door to the rv and we wouldn't know where we were I mean, we didn't drink that much Coors Light, but I mean you get disoriented. It's kind of like probably like just, you know traveling You know doing your gigs or whatever at some point. You're like, I don't exactly know where I'm at. Yeah, so they'd open the door and be like, well

Uh, we're in Maine You got six hours make a video god And then they would shut the door and we'd they'd open it again. This is what it feels like now our retrospectors like we were in Somewhere in the Midwest and it was like you're at a board game convention We got you passes go in there make a video. It was like it was like a role-playing Role-playing game convention. So would you guys just brainstorm the whole way to the next place and try to come up with some We would like we would work something out like for that

It was we're going to go and they've given us like a space on the floor and we're going to say that we've got a new Role-playing game and that we need a test audience And so it was called intergalactic food smugglers. Yeah, because it had to be about food because of alka-selts Oh, right. Oh, you make sense at a certain point. You got to start popping those alka-selts Was that because since then haven't you done a lot of food, you know, like yeah, yeah, was that the genesis? No, it wasn't because that was 08 and then we didn't start gmm Good Mythical Morning until 2012 and we didn't start eating stuff on gmm until a couple of years into it. Yeah 2014 to give people who don't know that are listening or watching

How many youtube channels do you guys have? um Of damn five ish five ish. It's kind of loose. Yeah, I mean we've got good mythical morning is a show and then That's your that's every morning. Yeah, yeah that show continues So there's like 10 more minutes that's good mythical more where it's like more laid back Which is like behind the scenes another channel But hanging out more of the same show and then we have our podcast earbiscus that we do every week and that's another channel and

That's basically we have the we have our main channel the original red and link channel That's what i'm saying, which we like it's basically just an archive at this point because we don't have a We're not uploading anything to it just because you're focusing on the other places Yeah, because everything any whatever we're doing that's like narrative scripted stuff that we're developing is More traditional route right now. So instead of trying to do that on youtube. Oh going traditionalism tv. Yeah. Yeah, yeah So, I mean we did we had like a youtube red. I guess it's youtube premium now show Like a half hour comedy for two seasons on that but again that was We we got and I think we put that on the gmm channel because at this point that channel has like 15 million subscribers versus

The original channel has got like i4 or 5. Oh bullshit. Yeah, because it's just the because the daily The whole gmm was just a side project. So the reason we moved to la is So if you fast forward from those alka-selts or days You get to We just started like we were making all our money through just Brand integrations right then eventually we turn on like we got into the youtube partner programs

Where they caught it at the time where you know the ad sense money started coming in So we kind of supplemented our income doing that. Yeah, so they share like 55 percent With the creators. It's like a standard thing across the board right and but we were continuing to do that Uh, and then we were trying all kinds of stuff. This is all back in north carolina like we would this we music videos sketch And then one of the things that's really started hitting in like 0809 was we started making local commercials Yes, i've seen a few of them. Yes, we did. We did one for a furniture Yes place the red house furniture where black people and white people buy. Oh my god. That's you guys. Yeah

Love that one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god years ago. We played that on the show audio only we played that on the show Red house Yes, we're we're in the ad, you know singing that part. That's hilarious. Oh my gosh. That's you guys Yeah, so we started doing that our black people white people still allowed to buy furniture there Yeah, yeah, but only black people and white people All people or as the guy at the end of the thing says and hickspanic people too So but we so we did that and then that was like the first time we started getting like interest from La we all these production companies started calling and saying we'd love to turn this into some kind of show

We ended up selling a season of the show to ifc That was when we packed everybody up and moved to los angeles So that show was only one season, but we made We made one commercial for a taxidermist in ohai called chuck testa So there was like a meme that was nope chuck testa Was that is that like doing that that was that also just off a cold call? Do you just call a place at that? No at that point, you know Through the production company. They said all right, we're gonna do the casting thing. So then people would send in tapes

Oh, I got you. So there was like once it was like an audition tape where it was like chuck's Son was filming him skin something and the dude's barefoot and he talks like this and he's very dead pan and We're like this guy's great. So we came up with nope chuck testa like Just watching the audition tape. We're like, I bet you we can talk this guy into doing anything And he was like a really good sport. Yeah, he's great. And he like He says it like it changed my life for maybe a year. I don't know. He's he's still a friend of ours Do you uh, you guys have you done or are interested in doing features at all or no? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean we 10 years ago well more than 10 years ago now

We we did like a documentary feature that was us trying to find our first grade teacher Oh, I saw that um spoiler alert founder. Yeah, looking for misluck you watched it or you saw that it existed I saw that it existed. I have not watched it yet But you still gonna spoil it. Okay. No, you said in your video. Yeah, you guys said it when your videos But yeah, no, we want it. We don't have nothing in the works right now Uh, but yeah, are you ever like do you ever stop? Are you ever astounded at like that enough like 15 million people? Yeah, crazy. It's crazy, right? Because we've started touring Like the you know, like the gig at the rhyme and I mean just to be able to say oh, we're playing at the rhyme

And like that's wild country music fans. That's that's pretty amazing. Yeah And then you know, we get went to australia and like people are buying tickets and showing up. It's just weird man Yeah, crazy. Yeah. Yeah. And again, I like I think it's even like You know, we come from stand-up. So you think it like it's a you know more traditional path, right? Like you basically built this path like they're that didn't really exist I mean, yeah, we were we've just kind of Stumbled into the next thing. It's why you know, it's it's We and now we're at this place where because of the popularity of this one show

We can We wouldn't have to necessarily be funny Like we would still probably have people show up, which I think Is probably happening with youtubers who are doing live shows. I'm not gonna name any names But I the we we have this this way that we can Have an idea like we just we're finishing a novel right now that's coming out in the fall that is You know, it's all it kind of based in the two boys who are freshmen in high school kind of encountering some weird stuff in their town

and The fact that people we've got a built-in audience who's going to read that hopefully beyond the audience will read it as well Sure, but it just gives you the you can kind of play around with all about that presale man You gotta get me ordered I mean, so look since you guys are such, um, you know So into and knows the youtube Audience so well and how it works. I mean, can you give us some guidance? Like we have a fart mic, right? So anybody, okay, what do we do up our game? That's one anything any advice?

Hmm, well, let me see what you got hit me on the fart mic. Yeah, I have nothing right now. Oh, you got empty Do you guys have any farts? No, I just I went pretty deep. I thought maybe I did but I was I really wanted to think about it for you Yeah, I glad you did well. He has you have farted on You farted on fire on the on the podcast one time. You did right into the mic though Uh So we each know the mic was here, but I mean it was I went hard on gmm So you could hear it on gmm. We've each farted uh unintentionally and it was caught on camera and left in the air that wow

We found that quite funny. Um, hey, do we have that uh clip of their food the Thing yeah, let me load it up. Yeah, there's uh Just to kind of inform the audience like here's uh, yeah you guys I feel like I disappointed you because I didn't fart into your mic I mean, I'll let you know if one comes out. Here's a red and link food tasting video that we found This is from like 2010 I bought the motherfucker today at the store. Is this when you had a beard? Look at that fucking chicken that I'm about to sit here and devour because I'm a fucking glutton The low angle is great. Always flattering

Yeah Fucking man Yeah I love this guy so much Does he have other videos? Oh, yeah No, never seen this guy you've ever been on the internet before jeez it gets fucking leg off It's first fucking leg. Well, he switched up. So he that's king ass ripper and uh

He used to just exclusively do fart videos really under the handle. I fart in yo face And he would get kicked off for youtube and he'd go to live leak and then live leak would do something He should get kicked off for farting. I I agree, but however, he would wear torn and tattered Oh, he would expose the anus. Well, no, no, but there would be little peaks. So he would a little kind of wink at you You'd see like oh, no, okay like a color change and he would do things like Yes, they were real like they looked worse than that shirt that's on, you know, I mean his underwear did Okay, and he would just like walk up the stairs turn around look at you fart Or he'd lay on the couch two thumbs up

But see I I don't mean to be but he went down the glutton Angle now. So now he's all about and that means which creatively I'm personally. I like his earlier work I'm into the farts a little more. Is this guy on your payroll because I'm about to I wish no, no, no, please go ahead. All right. So I don't like this guy because Okay, he's you know Please tell us he's he could be real, but he's not like the internet's the internet can It can contain the real version of this you don't like the bit I think this is the bit version. There was a I mean, there's a guy who was on instagram who was a

He was a security guard. It's like we know him. Yeah On the show Great. Yeah, that's an artist. It's a good work. He I mean he got fired For far. I mean you've talked to him. No, we know. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah, he's bring him out. Yeah No, please It's just like no one latch him. I'll tell you that about this guy Uh, the king here he won't he won't respond. No, we've tried courting him for a decade video to us once So he was like dedicated to your mom's house

But he won't actually he's scared. He's very co-coy. No, wait. So what you're saying? I'm not saying he's not a good character I'm just saying once you've seen the real thing You know that this could exist and this is just frustrates you knowing that you're not seeing you're saying that you don't feel the Authenticity from this guy. You feel like this is a show and this is not who he is. Is that what you're telling me? Yeah, wow, I'm never I don't see you want to read more genuine Yeah grounded no grounded performance. This is this is a performance. He's playing a character Well, we'll see that I think that like my favorite thing about there's nothing wrong with that No, I get it. I'm just when you've seen the real thing the commercials you made

You know, there's like the front like the great thing about those commercials I mean, it's I guess a subjective depends on your sense of humor Was when you feel like this is real, you know, I mean, yeah, you know the first one we ever made We made it for a furniture another furniture place bobby dinning furniture in somewhere in north carolina high point and High points real close. No, no, not high. It wasn't high point though. It was it was down on olive Anyway, but we made the commercial for them and they had this like tradition of making really, you know, funny commercials unintentionally funny commercials and

We acted like we were two of the family members and we kind of like were the leads in the commercial And we got there to be a part of it, but we watched it back. We were like Well, we put it out we did we were like, this is not great But at the same time we made the red house and then the cuban gynecologist because that guy that guy was in high point So that's the guy who was a used car salesman from cuba who had been a gynecologist cuba, right? And so we kind of leaned into that and it was like I'm gonna we didn't give him a stethoscope He had it in his drawer right of his like sales desk And that's what was and that's the switch we made was

We don't why why do we have to play characters when these real people Are basically writing this for us. I mean, yeah, that's what we like. We've always found the stuff that we make that we're not in to be That's our favorite stuff and stuff and it's when it's real So this is based on this guy's story is one of those commercials Maybe it's the first one or maybe it's another one where you had The mother somebody who was like try to say a line like 40 times um We got scooters

Yeah, was it we got scooters that was that was an outtake from the one that he's talking about where we played The two brothers. Yes. So and then we realized that that was so much funnier. That was hilarious. And that's when it clicked And she's our scooters She could like yeah, she would even like screw up. We got scooters, right? 10 different ways and she's frustrated or so, but we got her to market He said you can market a scooter to people who've had You know duis So we're like, oh, that's right. You got a dwi. Yeah get a scooter if you couldn't say dwi

That's right. That's what it was. That was so that was yours. Yeah, that was in the end Right. That was just an outtake. That's it. That should be that should be your only thing that helps Got the dwi your scooter That's hilarious. Yeah So you guys we one of the things we discussed sometimes on this show is you know, we're married You guys are basically a married couple. By the way, very good-looking guys. I can see why you have a successful channel so God, they're good-looking. No, they are they're so much cuter that youtubers are generally cuter than comedians

Oh for sure. Yeah, you guys have a look I can see why you know, you know, we spend a lot of time on our hair. Yeah, you guys have great hair You guys do have great outfits. You're very fit. That's what I could tell you guys went to hollywood with that hair But anyway, yeah, right. Um, that's not north carolina here, right? So Anyways, we discussed what yeah, you're nice chanels. We discussed whether or not, you know, how ride or die Um, one of the the scenarios that came up once was like I go to starbucks It's like an addiction every day and I have a very specific order. It's not that complicated But I like a splash of milk and a lot of times I'll watch them just dump milk

I get upset and I told her, you know, what if I were to wait outside one of these locations And I target the barista who made it wrong I kill them in a fit of rage and then I come home and I'm like, I gotta tell you something I killed somebody today. Oh, okay. Would you turn me in? So let's flip this scenario and say it's between you guys Your partner here is like, hey, man, I know we're about to record. Uh, I gotta tell you something real quick I know we're gonna we're gonna try out these hot dogs, but let me tell you something real quick. Uh, I kill somebody today. Anyways, you know, you gotta understand

I'm not good with hypothetical situations. So when you pitch a hypothetical, I start to internalize it as real So like, yeah, you feel the emotions right now. I feel like you're gonna fucking break Yeah I think this is a pretty clear thing. Yeah I would have my answer. I would try to find a way to help him Evade the situation. This is my man. And also by the way, turn me in You and I have a similar conversation with our therapist because uh, my therapist is also like you live in a narrow bend with a emotion So and then she's like I would call immediately immediately

Well, but here's my thinking. Okay. Because he's the father of my small children and if here's here's a deal, man If it were like he kills a pedophile or he kills somebody that hurts our family Dude, I'm the first one to get a shovel. I'm gonna help him get rid of the body. Right. Okay Now if it's just a barista at Starbucks who gets his drink order over and over wrong, okay It means that something's wrong, right? Something screws screwy up here. Right. Who knows what he's gonna snap on next That's not a reason to kill a man A woman, you know what she actually said to me. It's not it's not enough. I tell her this one time. She's like Uh, who what if you're gonna kill me and the kids? Absolutely. Why would you take it? Well, because he's capable

But why why wouldn't I take it there? He's capable of murdering a barista over an incorrect drink order Who's to say he's not going to turn that rage on myself or the children? I got to protect my kids Do you do stuff for him like splash milk into things for him all the time just to prevent the rage? Yeah That's no way to live. That's no way to live. So you're just like nervously splashing milk in this stuff Oh, I do See you and I are similar emotionally when I have to get his Starbucks order there is that anxiety I mean like I better get this right I think you might need to take a measuring spoon

Oh, you know are you have oh some people bring their own cups mugs and they do Bring your own little thing and be like this is what you need to put the milk You know, I started to do a great idea. It's it feels like a would you please validate this idea? No, no, I started to address it. I started to to say Black nothing in it and then like when they're start making that I go. Oh, can I get on the side? A little bit of milk that's smart and then they'll be like, do you want room? I go? No, no Because I don't want them to be like here. We'll leave this one. Are they just what what drink are you what's your drink? It's so easy. It's not it is

It's a it's a it's a venti large iced coffee Extra ice. Okay. No sweetener because a lot of them. Yeah, you know sweetener black. That's it. That's how it And then you say and then I go can I get a side no before that before I did that? Yeah, I would say a splash or whole milk you say a splash and I would watch these dudes and ladies just go like It's not a there you go. I'm like, come on Splash is such an imprecise term. He's an engineer. You're right. It is an imprecise term But then I would say I would start when I would get frustrated about that I would say can I get a very small splash or a very small amount?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would still get like just half a glass So then I just go make it black Got it, but it's imprecise and the engineers these two the brains here are like you're being imprecise But you would help them bury you'd help them bury the body. No, no, let's revisit hearing my argument Go ahead He's a sociopath clearly He's a psychopath. So you're saying ret did what you he killed the barista. Yes. I'm saying in the scenario But but but Rhett also

See if you did something just like if she came to me if she was like came to me and she was like I was dropping off the kids at school that's a male man. I killed him. I'd be like, oh really? Let's figure out how to get like hide this and I'm gonna help you get out of this situation That would be my first thought. How do I help you get away with this? Yeah, I Unprovoked I think that would be I think my first thought would be unprovoked murder. Did you hear that? And if we both go to prison, who's raising the kids? That's another thing. Yeah, you do as we are. Okay. Well first thought we gotta get away with it I think my first thought would be

I bet I bet we don't have to tell anybody. I bet we can Yeah, oh bullshit. I think that would but then there'd be a second thought right after it like immediately right after it There's like There's no way that I can succeed. I'm pretty good at keeping secrets, but I'm not good at like covering up body You would be like I think I think you'd be like, all right, man We're definitely just not gonna say anything and then he would go to lunch to come back. You'd be like fbi is coming over Yeah, link would cave in a minute. I feel like he doesn't have the constitution I mean because you're you said you you get you feel your emotions, right?

You express when your feelings are hurt. It would be overwhelming. Yeah, it's a natural thing to do Well, I didn't know the barista. I don't know my feelings will be hurt. Well, maybe you'd be like god But how are you doing this? I well, here's the here's the mitigating factor Uh, that I I think you're right that I would just say hey, you're you're going down, man And I'm not going with you Uh, because is there a clause in our In our insurance like we've got probably at a certain at a certain point. We got we got insurance. Yeah

Can we talk about it? It's talking about the insurance make it where if you kill somebody I can't get it Does it does it include like moral failure? Situations if you're more out of clausal. We need checking that if you're morally disabled Oh, wow, like that's a great way to say you're in prison Then I am going I gotta get I gotta get that income that is gone by you not being there Which is gonna be low like I'm not there 95 percent like you're gonna be like a five that five percent contribution that you make You know, I want to get that I want to get that quantified

I think if you put this in because I I think what I would be trying to do is I think by the way I think I'm much more likely to kill somebody but I would accidentally It would be an accident We don't allow him to touch sharp objects on the show because he's you know, he's a danger to himself and others Really? I'm impulsive and I don't think I'm But I'm clumsy and I'm impulsive minimizing the damage though because um if a more realistic situation like

Like a hit-and-run or something like that like you know, I was I was I don't think you should make this more real Let's keep this like No, because I was watching It's incriminating if it's like I was watching I guess probably some reddit thread and there's this Hidden camera or like surveillance footage of somebody pulling out in front of this car

And the car swerves And the guy like flips and hits a sign turns out the guy like ended up in critical condition the person who Caused them to do this just like quickly turns around and Goes away right now I first of all, I don't think I would do that because it's like you're always going to get caught in those situations, right? It's And and I think it'd be too much to deal with if you did get away with it, but if you made the mistake Is that no I'm saying so if you made that mistake. Yeah, you came home and you told me it's like dude. I just

I just caused this guy to wreck and then but you know My car wasn't hit and I'm here now and I think you got hurt. What should I do? I panicked. I didn't intentionally flee. I just I fled in a panic I think in that situation my goal would be to minimize the repercussions in your life, right? And so I think in that situation I'd be like You got to go you got to turn yourself in right now Because because that's the most logical thing to do to minimize the situation, right? Yeah, but if it was a little bit different and it was like

You could get away with this I would be the one that would be most likely to find that way and and there you go To help you. Yeah, he's like, okay. He's like I was in boon I was on a hike and I still like the way this guy looked at me. I just I cut him up And he's like come on man. Oh, yeah, you're like, all right. Here's what we gotta do. I cut him up. Yeah Hey, but your friend is crazy. Like you know 30 years, man Just a slip up a slip up where you chop up a man No, you'd have to think that somebody something snapped and your friend's like I drained them. There's no blood

Look at him laughing. Just like you you guys are sickos together Yeah, yeah But some things that's yeah, something's wrong. Can you be like this guy's lost a shit? Right. What if he's what if he said all I need you to do is say that we Were having lunch In peoria Can you can you swing that for me? I mean, I'm actually I would I'm a little scared at how good I would be at doing that Yeah, same with him. Yeah. Yeah, you guys are kind of looking forward to that call

I mean, I always laugh when I gotta be people like us, man When I get here is the world around. Yeah, I always look guilty when I didn't do something Right, but I like to think that when I am guilty. I'm pretty cool about it Like I don't know. It's like I have this like investment diversion mentality. It's like I had guilty about everything Yeah, yeah, yeah This is my guilty voice I think we have a great scenario for a feature or an animated show here You know an animated murder cover-up. That's what I'm talking about. Yes, dude

Yeah, I mean this it feels like this has had to have been done. Right. What was the what was the movie make it a pet What's the movie where somebody's pet? They the the uh, I think that's worse in some ways. Yes The prostitute dies in the very beginning Uh, oh christian slater christian slater. Oh the best movie ever american psycho. No. Oh, no, sorry Early, no, it's a bad. It's called like bad day or a bad I don't know it a very bad thing Very bad people or something. I don't know That bitch sorry too short was here last week. He gave us that

It's a bitch, but too short. I'm not dead prostitutes. Oh, I didn't get that. Yeah Too short was right there, man. I thought you were doing that thing. That's pretty awesome I thought you were doing that thing with as a seasoned podcast host You're like we're having that conversation where we're all trying to remember the name of a movie that everybody knows All right. I'm on a bitch this moment. I'm gonna piss. Oh, no I wish I know I wish it was very bad. Thanks. Very bad. I know you said that that's like a group of friends trying to cover Oh Well, let me ask you this but you can you can go there again. We have uh

Segment we do called horrible or hilarious a lot. We show a video and We just get your reaction. Is this funny or is it terrible? one of them actually is uh incredibly interesting because of the fact that There's like it's two buddies involved in something. I'm wondering if you guys would be the hardcore Support and friend that the one person

Needs. Okay. So this is out in uh the uh, like nature right out in a stream of Water, I guess you would call it. Um, and these guys are I think they're actually out there Trying to uh get What is it fish? Yeah Yeah Lobsters crabs

All right. Yeah, so they're they're crabbing. They're crabbing. I guess but it does it's it's it's not uh I don't know. It's not it doesn't I always thought of crabbing as like the throwing in Like the traps and like these guys are like out there with their hands. Yeah, this shit. So Are they noodling? Oh, no, that's different. This isn't another part of the world. It's kind of noodling. Okay. You'll see. Okay. Here we go So he's got a he's got a crab on his ding ding But then okay, uh, okay, look ret comes over I

Handles it for his bro. Oh Oh, the the pincher is still there. They're still there. Yeah Anyways See, I'm I you guys seem deeply troubled. I'm so suspicious of this. Yeah. Yeah. Does it feel contrived? Yes Well, you got a third person with the camera. Who's that you? That's me. So all right. So Well, I was in I was in uh, uh, Bora Bora and I was like, hey you guys I got a great idea But would you hook your friend up like that?

Take the crab off his painer. Oh, why didn't he use his own hands? That's what I would walk. That's the main thing I'm thinking about. You got two hands. They're right there next to your crotch Screaming like yeah, he's freaked out. He's so freaked out. But see yeah, but it's all this is where the video starts It's already on him. It's already there at this point. Yeah Yeah Oh, right He's a good screamer. Yeah, he knows how to scream and the in the double screen are the other ones get the other ones Yeah

But if that did authentically happen to you, yeah, no problem man. No, you would yeah Yeah, I don't think I've ever taken anything off of your penis before but well any faces the camera too. That's interesting Like well, hold on the crab and he's like here look at it when I moved out Oh, you you had that other roommate who moved in and I thought I heard the story that you removed a tick from the Glance of his Penis what?

This is an exclusive. I feel like I would remember exclusive. I'm talking about exclusive. I'm talking about josh. This is a ymh exclusive exclusive Sorry, oh, you hold on is that your voice hold on I don't think I removed it, but I do think that he Let you watch. No, I think he came I think he came home from like a camping trip or something It was on this is when I was so after link moved out um and got married I

I had actually Bought this really shady apartment in Raleigh And then got like six roommates. I slept on the floor and charged them all rent. Whoa What the hell and so I just had a just a lot of guys just coming in and out of there As long as they were willing to pay like 200 a month for Some portion of a room they could stay sounds disgusting and uh, there was a guy Especially when you hear about this guy. He came home from something and yeah, he had a I think he had a tick on his nuts

I I distinctly remember it being on the wiener tip on the on the tip That's how I remember it a tick tip a tip tick. Yeah, yeah tip tick I've never heard of a tip tick I've never heard of that either and they get man. I feel like I must have blocked this out because I definitely I don't remember. I do have this vague recollection of him showing everyone. He showed it to everyone showed everybody And then he was like, can you help me out? And then I think I he was like my two hands are holding It up. I didn't see it. I definitely I would remember if I helped him I think he showed it to us and then he went into the bathroom and took care of it himself

Geez, how do you take care of that? You just light a flame to it. How do you do that? Yeah, don't you have to burn off the tick or whatever? Well, you burn the tick after you remove it from your from your pecker because you burn it on the pecker You have to yeah What you got to do is you got to get the pincers out So like with tweezers, you got to get in there and get the and this is if it's small enough You can paint nail polish over a tick and it will it will begin to suffocate and it'll let loose Oh, that's chiggers. You paint red bugs. You would you ever get chiggers? No

So they definitely are not out here. No, I don't know if they're in the Midwest, but They're all over the southeast and you for some reason only get them when you're kids But you'll go out and play and then you come back and then you'll have these red bumps all in your crotch like on the upper thighs and then your mom takes nail polish remover Or clear no clear nail polish and paints over them And and because they have like a little breathing tube that they've stuck out of your skin and they suffocate and die and go away

Oh my god, that sounds horrible and racist. Yeah, it does Yeah, it does. There's probably a there's probably a new name for them. That's why I kept saying red bugs Red bugs. Yeah Jeez, is there another uh horrible hilarious to show them? So we're so we're saying uh, that was hilarious You're saying funny. Yeah. Yeah, super great. This is not contrived. This is not okay though Oh My gosh Hey, was that a gorilla? Was that right? That was a bull dude. That was a bull

Look at the two psychos laughing. Look at the two psychos laughing. I thought it was a gorilla. That was Back legs on that bull. It looks like oh my god. That's two men in a suit, man You're like this is a bit man. That is a look at this first frame. Totally shut up. No, that's a real bull but my question is The bull went back into the shadows and like crushed this woman and then nobody came out Oh, and I got it. Where's the bull? Oh, yeah, it comes out Look at this guy. He's like, all right, man. All right, enough of this get out of here, buddy. Oh, okay. There he comes Oh, this is terrible. I just got a cigarette in his bag. Is that a guy the bull's owner?

I don't know. He seems real calm about it. I mean, look at that. He's just smoking He's smoking. The smoking guy's the best part. That's the funniest part of the video Calm. I don't like the scream. I like this guy's nonchalant cigarette. She's definitely overreacting. Oh, kiyuki guys She is You know why she knows there's a camera? Yeah on the ceiling and she's like, oh, I'll do it up for the camera I mean, where does it how does she end up guys? She's in the shadow back there. They don't care. Yeah, they don't care My experience in that guy doesn't care either. By the way, my experience with bulls is that they don't give a fuck videos people

Rarely people don't get hurt that bad. Yeah, you know, I'm saying really. Yeah, you got like You you watch 10 bull videos people getting hit Nine times out of 10 they walk away. Yeah, this lady could still breathe on her own. That's because you're watching the rodeo you're not watching like you know like Spanish bull running Yeah, don't people get gored?

She still seems to be hurting her lungs are intact. I don't I don't like screaming. She is fine Okay, look who's laughing now psycho link join you guys That was unexpected. I will say that Really? Oh, that was 2019. We don't even need to vote. These guys both voted hilarious obviously. She's not even fully recovered yet guys Yeah, I'm gonna go horrible on this Okay, not interested. All right, we need to bum everybody out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, can we see another one? Is there another one? I'm steen of the bummer

Definitely. Let's see what she is this one. Oh, here we go Yeah This is like this is like the wine making lady That was a fun one. Here's the thing he he got the wind knocked out of him. He's making that wind knocked out noise Here's my theory It's it's when you don't see Anything grow in other words something got hurt, but you're not seeing like actual Yeah, you know the the injury. Yeah, and then a noise

Like a a grunt or a scream the screams are funny. That's the funny. Yeah, the screams. Yeah, that was a delay You can't see that his knee is torn to shreds Right like that. He has no right. Yeah, there's exposed bone. Yeah Is this another angle? This is a different video different guy different guy. Yeah. Oh no. He's going to Oh He's dead he died The reason there was no grunt the reason I have trouble is hilarious the second one horrible I have trouble nothing just blah

Anytime I don't know. I like I'm tall. I got back problems. I'm constantly thinking about not getting hurt Yeah, I think 80% of my mental energy at this point in my life is devoted to not getting hurt While moving while moving. Yeah, and so when I see that situation The ice and the snow I'm just It's difficult for me to watch can't think about what I would how I would react. Yeah, you know why I like that video I don't like people that wear shorts in the snow

Yeah, they deserve what they deserve. Yes God's punishing him for I'm the psycho Okay, okay I agree. We wear pants. It's freezing outside. What's wrong with pants? It's snowing. This is the video that started at all Oh, this one Oh, no Oh, no Don't

Ah Yeah Oh god Lost both at the knees amputated at the knees Oh, no, he's fine. He's fine. He really is they followed up. It was a big story in taiwan. Yeah, see here's the deal He's okay. Was he driving that thing remotely? It looked like he was He had a remote control. Oh, that's interesting. That's the first thing I thought is like only have If I was watching that live

Mm-hmm I would react differently. There's nothing about the fact that it's been captured and packaged That's true. That makes me think that whatever no line you would freak out. You would freak out Yeah, right. Yeah. I mean you laugh, but then you'd be like, I gotta help him out No, I would probably just walk over very slowly and then kind of stare down at him Not unlike that guy, right? Yeah. That was a crazy reaction, right? But just like a slow again. He he moseyed over it's like the guy with the cigarettes brother's like I would I would walked over the driver put my arm around like you got to get the fuck out of me

I'll take this. And then I just beat the guy on the ground That I mean The screams just didn't stop enough for a lot to allow me to laugh. There was no Yeah, there was no punchline for me and now the lack of um, value of human life is interesting Like what do you mean the guy who walks around he's like care. Yeah, yeah stone faced Yeah, that was bad. He looked like where was that where was that? Um, bump on the road like he looked down like What was that? Yeah, I was a person. Oh, there's my wrench. Yeah, it doesn't care cool. Yeah, yeah Oh now they're showing us another

Hey, uh, better do something What oh gosh Oh The military is involved Oh, all right, look at this psycho laugh. I better do something. Yeah. Yeah Link was affected by that one. Yeah, I mean he knew he was coming down too fast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I think he something was wrong with the parachute. Yeah, the better do something I I can I never pinpointed what the something was. I don't know what you could do. I think he just hit

I think right before you hit the ground you jump Like in a falling elevator You're supposed to lay flat Right in a falling elevator. Let's follow it falling you Spread yourself as wide as you can laying down on the ground to distribute the load Oh, you don't stand obviously you definitely don't jump because that's not gonna work You don't stand because it'll compress your spine You get on your

Back and you spread out. You're probably gonna die anyway. Yeah, you're gonna. It's done This is the now you're cut. So if you I mean Yeah, if you if you want to make sure that you're gonna die then just do a handstand Does this mean that you like do you go on reddit and look at all the twisted twisted stuff? No, no, no, not at all Not at all. Okay. So you have a line. Oh, yeah, I don't I don't search for any of this So you just laugh at it when it's presented to you. Yeah, if I like I think the the the The points that I pointed out are what I've discovered I can like if I see someone

And you're like check this out and this dude's head cracks open like I'm it's not funny to me. Yeah, that's not good I I do think there's something about not seeing any gore. Yeah and hearing yells that does make me laugh. It's the suffering that tom likes the screaming sounds of suffering You too. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, I'm telling you Well, because there's that 50 50 Reddit thread where it's like I don't go on any of that shit. Is this a You know a kid eating an ice cream or is it, you know A monkey getting run over like oh, it's like and I and I don't do I don't play that game

How do you know about it because our the gmm crew Made us play of like a much more tame version of that on the show But look that's sort of like a reddit thread and it's either going to be something really pleasant or really I've discovered that as as much as I laugh at some of this stuff. I don't have I don't have it in me to watch actual Real physical violence or like really good. I can't I can't I don't like it right, but I I I actually feel like I understand the this realm that that we're operating in here. There's like To me. I think there's both it's not you can I can be I can find parts of it funny and I can find parts of it horrendous

That's you know, it's like well, it's supposed to be on the line most of it, you know Yeah, and that's that's what I think A lot of people they're like This day and age you can't find things funny. You have to you have to make a decision You're either going to find something funny or you're going to or you're going to be outraged about something and it's like I I think both can be true and then you just got to figure out who you trust to let them know that you find it funny That's true. That's a big part of it. Someone's not the one to talk to but yeah I I tend to just just about the violent videos

Whatever. Yeah, but not when it comes to violence, but when it comes to certain types of comedy, I don't have a specific example, but like I just think you can be Again, you can find something funny and then you can Do you ever go on effucked? No, what is that? No, no It's uh, is this a website or yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's that? E f u k t. How you guys stepped into the devil's lair

What what is it? Okay, so it's a guy who he is a curator of types And he's actually a talented editor. I'll give him that Okay, so he'll it'll he it stays. It's a lot of adult Um, like x-rated stuff. Okay, but it'll either it's it falls into different categories within that umbrella So some of it will be like a big tent. This is a big tent. Some of it will be like actual um, you know Some girl being like oh my my my anal prolapse keeps uh Give me problems when i'm shooting scenes and it's like a ridiculous thing like that like an lol

Genre then there's like blooper stuff. Then there's horrendous stuff like stuff where Don't say it. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard to watch. Don't say it hard to watch. You guys aren't into that stuff No, no, you're not but i'm saying you should check it out I mean just maybe not just to see just to see one time sometimes some some videos are just people crying Look at he's the guys. What's it like to be normal? What's it like to not talk about farts all day? Or we can hang out later. I just if you ever just need to call me. I know Oh, wait, do you have any uh, so you've you've been here on the show now Like do you have any like you guys are the youtube gods? What's your advice for us? I mean, do we keep the fart mic?

Yeah, you definitely should keep the fart mic, you know any other like any advice for us? Don't I you know don't try any harder than you currently are. Okay, you know, we don't we don't need any competition. There's a there's a lot of Um, there's you know, how hard do you perceive that they're trying? How how many how many uh hours a video or uploaded every second or something and it's increasing every single day And dammit you're doing you're doing your uh your show every day. Is it five days a week? It's five days that we can do friday. We have like a recap show on saturday. How long is that show the monday through friday show? Like 10 to 15 minutes. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah Um, and we just eat a lot of stuff. I mean, it's like that's not that's not what the show

Is intended to be it's supposed to be like a creative expression of our The conversational nature of our friendship, but yeah, we just eat a lot of uh, Variously prepared animal testicles right in a lot. Yeah, I know you guys We got to step into this space. I don't know what happened. You eat a lot. That's my advice. Yeah, do you talk about balls? Oh, yeah, do you talk about browning? You guys eat, but what about yeah, what about all the brown stuff all the chocolate that comes out of the backside? Oh, yeah, let's talk about that. Does it does eating crazy food make crazy browns? No, uh, only if only when you do like the hottest pepper in the world, which we've done

Yes, at two different times when it was two different times. Well when you know, I keep releasing new ones We're not doing the latest one, which is like pepper x or something. How horrible is that experience? Well, interestingly the second hottest pepper in the world top five. I don't know what is Not like we said we did a straight up Uh What ghost pepper when it was the hottest one? Yeah, horrible experience while it's happening horrible experience for like the next 12 hours or so 12 hours Ling Ling he was like really like 12 hours later. He was like

That's the Carolina Reaper. So the second one we did The Carolina Reaper was the world's hottest pepper and we said Okay, we're gonna set a timer. I mean all this was on camera. So we wanted to make sure that The whole experience was captured. So we didn't add anything out. We said we're gonna set a timer for 10 minutes We're gonna eat the whole pepper and then we're not going to Consume anything you're not gonna drink or eat anything else. We're just gonna ride it out and so

Rhett had this impulse to start destroying the set like just it became physically violent. It was very funny and it was You can see the fear in our eyes at at a certain point when I mean we took the precautions like we had gloves and You know, because you don't want to touch your eyes or anything like that, but We were still crying and I haven't watched it back because I just don't and you were miserable clips of it for 12 hours Well on and off it's like something shifts after 10 hours things I mean, you know, would you eat before you ate the head experience goes away Bananas. Well, I so I was a little better prepared. I ate a bunch of bananas and like some bread. Yeah

Yeah, but I don't love bananas. He didn't he didn't go as far. So what happens on the way out though Is it that miserable again? Yeah, the thing is at least twice. Yeah 11 o'clock that we filmed that morning 11 o'clock that night We were filming something else And in between takes I would lay down in the fetal position and it You know, I think the way my stomach works is that It's it does like a major turn every it's not constant but like I could tell that something happened every 10 or 15 minutes that would be like Everything got turned over and it exposed all this heat to my stomach. There was a new part of your system

That was getting exposed to that oil that pepper oil. It was very It was very bad terrible and um, no, and then when I mean all the way out, it's like it's hot It is hot and then it and then it starts it's the same thing that happens when it's going down. It's like Am I gonna be able to take this? And you start questioning if you're like with the worst part when it was going down was my throat And I thought it could kill you probably Am I gonna have to tap out? Are we gonna have to like call somebody because we didn't this is before we had like a medic

We have a medic. Well, what we don't we currently don't have a medic. What happened to that medic? We had a medic for a while for a while. We realized we don't have one all the time Oh, but now we've got a lot of a lot of our employees are like a cpr train. You had a medic for whatever you were doing Uh, we had a medic for the show. Yeah YouTube funded our show, uh A few seasons back and we made it even longer. So instead of 15 minutes. It was a half hour every day We did that for a stint and because as part of Their funding of it there was a medic on set right and then when that funny funding went away

We went back to 15 minutes The medic also went away. Yeah, that's true. Jesus. Well and now we're realizing But that's the question you have is like am I gonna be one of those people that has that has to go to the hospital because of this And then it kind of feels the same way On the way out But not like i'm gonna have to go to the hospital But like can I can I do this and it happened and then it happened for me it usually happens twice It's funny because we were really depends on your anal prolapse or whatever though. Yeah

Yeah, yeah, I'll send you the link to that one. Okay, you got to see that one We we ate the world's hottest curry So what are you guys doing? So Sean evans, uh, the hot ones. Yes. We had here last week. Yeah, he's great We the first time we were on we were on hot ones like last year But the year before that we went to new york and we they were doing they were on break for the season So he's doing these like little one-off videos. We went to he's the best man. Yeah, good guy Brick Lane, I think uh curry in new york

Which is named after brick Lane in london, which has got like the ball the curry places Anyway, the guys who make the curry there wear gas masks while they're making this one Hotest curry in the world and we played a game where if you got it wrong you had to take a bite of this curry That was bad. I got too too wrong. You got four wrong. Yeah, but for some reason we were out to dinner with our wives that night maybe four hours later and uh I ended up ret left the table leaving the table And he never and I was like I realized it's like oh now we're eating dessert and stuff He never came back and it was like and then he comes back to the table and he was like

He looked he looked horrible. He's walking funny. Yeah, and he was like He looked at me and he just said You're gonna have a rough night. Oh He knew it just hadn't hit me yet Yeah, uh, and I'm assuming it's not solid at that point either, right? No, no, it's sevens You want it just yeah right out, but it doesn't Oh We don't do that anymore. Yeah, we so we've kind of gotten to the place where it's like

Because the last time we did a hot thing it was a charity thing and Uh, I ate a trinidad scorpion pepper and It was one of the I got it got so bad that I was no longer entertaining You know, it's like you got a place where I was just I was mad that we had made the decision to do it And at that point I was like I can't there's no bit here. I can't find a way to make this funny And it wasn't hurting me is is bad. I mean you get a different pepper. You never know. It was horrible So we do I was like I like to think that I was still entertaining. Yeah, but you were you were very angry Which was funny and the uh, the hottest one in the world before the

Uh, carolina reaper carolina reaper is like two million scoville units The pepper x was same guy. There's some guy in north carolina ed something Crazy ed or something like that and he's any breeds cross breeds these peppers. He's like in the mountains What the hell but who's actually eating these well these pepperhead people regularly and He this new one pepper x is like three million scoville units and come on man. No That's like that's like taking like bear spray and like spraying it into your mouth Yeah, that's what I mean like who's eating these with their dinner. I mean is that it's just all it's a novelty Yeah, so are you guys in a ditch? Are you because that okay? You got the the books coming out the novel

You're touring doing live shows. We're both doing Nashville. Yeah, you uh, you have the the show five days a week And you're also developing. Do you also continually? Write and shoot like just a sketch type videos too that we're so we're taking all those that whole part of our Like creative brain is just into development right now. So we just there's no way we just got too many things going on We can't try that on youtube and also try to make it happen Elsewhere so because it's already too too much. Yeah a lot as it is now speaking of browns

I have a would you rather for you guys? It's kind of a game. We like to play on the show Being that your foodies and brownies. Here we go Would you rather For one year all you can eat is Taco Bell Now by this I mean three meals a day Any items on the menu you can mix and match you can Take tacos apart make them in the omelette whatever the hell right for one year They don't have eggs. You can't make it an omelette. Well, I think they have breakfast items now breakfast. Oh, they got them

Okay, okay, josh potter. I believe eats their breakfasts. All right. All right um You like I said you can mix and match but it's three meals a day at Taco Bell And you have Easy browns. I'm talking fours and fives gliders easy easy like you're healthy. You're they're healthy browns I didn't know what you meant when he said sevens, but you have those are sloppy. That's the bristol stool chart Yeah, it's a medical chart. It's a medical chart. So a one is like a rock And a seven is just water like the valdez. You want threes and fours. Oh, so it's a scale of one to seven

I like fours and fives. I'm I five getting kind of loose. Yeah Yeah, I like a five four is just Easy right. So you're healthy Or you may eat anything you want for an entire year But every brown it's a disaster. It's like your pepper or brown It's like what you had the day of the curry. That's every day. That's what you're doing this this is But you can't use one because

You know the the bell has the reputation of of just tearing you up. Right. That's what makes it a great Would you rather? Oh But it seems obvious if you if you love taco bell, I mean it's all That you would choose that for a year. Is that you are you saying that that's who you are No, I don't I don't hate taco bell, which You would oftentimes I prefer to I refer to taco bell as potential sponsor taco bell

And then I'm like, that's true. Okay, so I don't I don't hate it, but I don't love it yet But I mean the needle could be moved in either direction Well, just be careful if you choose a corporate sponsorship. We had mcdonald's sponsor this show and They gave they took their money back but like cuz yeah, but plug cuz we played them on our oh Yeah, it's a long story video, but um, I would take the second scenario eating anything I want But then messy browns. Here's why go ahead. I have a bidet at my house. Oh, so do we The toto Washletter a proper bidet mine is not no because you you've got the toto you get no

It's just the one that I just my wife got it. Just put it on. It's not the whole toilet. You know, it's just the right It's a washlet. It's a mount basically. Yeah, so and it's I don't know what brand it is, but Uh, it's a revolutionary as you already know And I would just be like I gotta get one at work. I got it. I gotta know if I feel like a real savage without it No, there's probably there should be like an app. Where's the nearest bidet? Yeah As long as I can wash it I would be willing to go through the hell that would be those Yeah, um, how how this is a stupid question. How gross do you guys get on this show? Like I haven't already figured that out

I think I think you have figured it out. Um, and it's a lot grosser than this We've been taking it easy on yeah, there's a question I've been wanting to ask in private, but I'll just ask it to you guys She doesn't eat my scrum. Is that what you're gonna ask? No, it's about the it's about the bidet. So yeah, so I got the fancy schmancy New toilet that like y'all walk up to it and it it it opens. Yeah Beckins it doesn't speak but I mean it It changes color on the inside. It goes. Yeah Yeah, yeah, it's not a toto. It's it's an american standard, but it's like okay. Maybe it's not as

It's it's got all that stuff. Okay, but with the with the bidet stream There's like a there's an aggressive stream and then there's an aggressive wash and there's like a normal wash And then if you hit the button twice, yeah, yes, it'll it'll do like a One of these like a massage pattern. Uh-huh. Wow So it'll be like a a water wiping pattern. Yep. Wow But if you don't if you hit it if you hit the strong stream once it's gonna just really It's gonna really rock it. I like to ride that And ride that way too. Yeah, you build up a tolerance. You really will um at that point is

If you if you line everything up properly, it's an enema. Oh, wow, you can really let it But the the water would have to be Looks like the top of red's head right there Gnarly it's just air. It's just air. It's got a lot of work Yes, I just I'm just fucking fire hose that I let it run a full cycle goes off on its own and I Are you serious? Yeah, I don't even check what's there. I'm just like, I know it's a mess. Just go But you can't ride but what my sometimes I didn't get to ask my question my question is Okay, you can answer it, but can you you you can use it basically to like

Get it in there. Oh it can go in there. It can go in there. Yeah and like Like an enema. Well, sometimes you want to You can now here's the thing your your b-hole is a very theoretically tight Hole, right? You can loosen it. You sure can. I mean Do you but when you're firehosing your bum, do you find that the water goes inside your butthole? Sometimes, but you know, you can you can you know, you can maneuver and position yourself you can relax Yeah, you can you can edge it off Yeah, that's advanced. That's right. Yeah, I don't do any of that. That's like six to eight months in

But you're right. I'm the most advanced then because I don't use a dryer that much though. Like you're No, I don't dry. No. No. So what are you saying? What's your technique? You just spread relax and spread and aim and just position yourself and You get in kind of an internal an internal wash You like getting in there for real you like to get in but do you do a double tap? So that's a single tap. So it's one. It's one. Ours is the other way Double double is the light stream double up power stream. No, I've got four settings guys. I got two buttons

Oh, one is light one's heavy and then if I hit the heavy one twice, it's gonna like it's gonna undulate We have an oscillating. That's an oscillating feature. Oh I don't know. They're different companies. You can't oscillate it. You know, I mean, it's got it The stream has to be this thing goes like this. The stream can't waggle. It has to like the staccato stream Oh, you mean where it goes like to I don't like that. It doesn't move. So right nothing. The stream doesn't move at all. But the pressure actually changes on it, right? It goes on off on off like that Uh pulsating pulsating is the right word. Yeah pulsating. No, mine doesn't do that. Does it? Oh, you need to step it up

I've seen the subscriber list. You need to step it up. You don't need money Now it's a warm strong have a beside each other. Yeah, I'm not gonna get rid of mine. Don't get rid of it I'm just gonna add another one. That's ballin right there. I got two Different companies and I will use them both at once. I don't know how yet But yeah, it's a warm stream. All right, you don't do cold water. Oh, it's hot. It's getting warm. Yeah, it's hot But I mean, I think that's why I'm choosing taco bell because Oh, wow Wow

You don't want I mean You don't want to have you don't want to if you're constantly decimated down there. Then that's uh That affects everything. Yeah, I mean, it's just washing it off. Not gonna make it better. You're gonna have Diagnosable problems and if you're well, yeah, but if you're at the like the zoo or something like that too, you know That would be That'd be trouble He you're saying the public dumps would be problematic. You'd have to plan your day Because I mean that's it and it affects you. Yeah, like once you've had the bidet

And then you're you're at a restaurant. Yeah, you know, and you're like they don't you know, they don't it's like an animal Like you can't you can't shit like an animal anymore. Right now. Look consider this though as much as I love taco bell Nutritionally, you might be deprived after one year of eating it three times a day I don't know. I think you probably get you know, I think you probably get it. I mean, there's some your nutrients So many I mean it all tastes the same eventually Essentially because it's just kind of rearranged in different ways. Yes the same five ingredients essentially rearranged beans beans alone True go a long way true cheese. You got your dairy lettuce. Yeah, you get your sour cream

Tomatoes are considered a fruit. Yeah, right. Don't eat those though. You don't eat tomatoes. No, but you eat tomato sauce Yeah, okay. Thank god. That's good. Yeah Pizza. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but not raw just raw. He was recently Or is that come out yet? I don't think it's come out yet. Well, he was well, this is what we won't tell what happened. Is he teaser? He was hypnotized To like to like tomatoes and well, I can't you can't ruin it. Well, that's interesting There's a couple creepy hypnotizers that we're gonna get into on a future up with uh, yeah, we found these guys that like The first thought you have maybe of like a hypnotist can they make people do think and like these guys are straight up creeps

So we're gonna oh no moral compass. That's not a good combination. They're weird weird guys Yeah, but i'm fascinated to see the tomato me too. I did it. Um, I did the thing in college At like when they yeah, yeah on stage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and did you know what's going on? Oh, yeah Yeah, totally. Yeah, right for for what I was doing. Yeah, but it started with when he was like He was trying to see who was gonna Participate. Yeah, he's like and then like you're fall asleep or whatever and I just dramatically was like You know hanging out. Yeah, of course, but I I mean in my head. I was that's what everyone's doing, right? So I don't know. I don't I that's my only experience and then I've seen one of those shows. Oh, he's a liar

Yeah, sociopathic. Uh, okay before we go. I just want to tell everybody mythical.com is like home base for everything, right? Yep, mythical.com. There's a good mythical morning five days a week ear biscuits, which is the podcast Which is once a week. Yep Uh, retin leak channel, which I'm you know, you're not uploading stuff to it right now. So Whatever faggots, uh retin leak live Uh for tickets to live shows you guys are doing a bunch of dates looks like coming up. Yeah. Yeah, we're we're doing Like every couple months we go out and hit like a part of the country and do like, you know, four or five shows

It's awesome, man. You guys are killing it and the book's coming out. Um, you have Smosh, you have the store. There's just it's endless. You got development. Jesus christ, man Take it easy. We need to slow down. Why aren't you slow down and just Sit on that. Do it bro. Sit on that bidet for longer. Sit on that bidet dude. Get that second bidet you deserve Now this was a lot of fun. Yeah, thank you guys for coming today. Yeah, thanks for having us Well, I see you in Nashville. You probably take off the next morning, right? Uh, I don't know. I think so. Yeah. Well, yeah, we'll let you know. I think we come in early, but stick around Yeah, I come in the 10th. You your show's the ninth. Okay. Yeah. All right. I hope I see you. Yeah, man

All right. Thanks guys. We'll leave you a special note. Oh, please Please do. All right Oh Oh Think about I hope that you wanted