Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 505-Theo Von-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 26, 2019

If you're gonna cough, go do it someplace else." The Mommies have never agreed with President Trump more. There are some moments of tension as the intro length may directly effect the The Fart Mic's future. Bah-bah-bap-bah-dahhh we're lovin' it again. Have you ever seen video's of protesters locking themselves to things? Plus another round of TikToks and OJ joins twitter. Josh Potter has returned from his trip to visit Robert Paul Champagne, he gives us a tease of what to look forward to. Plus The Mommies reveal a trailer from the coming footage of the trip. Theo Von is inside Studio Jeans via INVITE. Theo is a funny comic who can be seen and heard on his podcasts The King and The Sting and This Past Weekend. Topics discussed include Theo's hair, growing up in the south and not watching porn. That's it. There was nothing else discussed.

Simply called Nautica by Dan Mess. Guess what? I am going to Rochester, Minnesota. There's a Rochester in Minnesota, I didn't know that. And I'm doing an outdoor festival thing there with Josh Potter and Chad Daniels. Dad Channels. Dad Channels. We're doing it on, I believe it's the 24th of July, I think it's the 24th, I hope I got

that right. That is on sale. I'm also doing a show in Bencelam, not Bethlehem, Bencelam at the Parks Casino on November 8th. That just went on sale. You know, I'm going to Austin and I'm actually shooting there on November 16th. That's at Austin City Limits, but we added a show the next day, the 17th, at the Paramount Theater and that goes on pre-sale this Wednesday right now, the 26th. The code is house.

If you want to buy the on sale tickets, that starts on Friday, June 28th. We also added shows in Amsterdam and Dublin for the European tour. That's in October and November. Go to tomcigarette.com slash tour and my bad, the Rochester, Minnesota show is the Olmsted County Fair. It's July 23rd, I had the day wrong, the 23rd. It's on sale now. Jean?

Jean, Salt Lake City, Utah, Wise Guys Comedy Club, August 2nd and 3rd, September 5th, Milwaukee, September 6th, Chicago, September 7th, Boston, Massachusetts, October 3rd through 5th, Nashville, Tennessee, September 22nd, Seattle, Washington and then November 23rd, Portland, Oregon and that is the year for me. So get your tickets now at Christina P. On Line. Also, if you haven't already, check out my two Netflix specials, Mother Inferior and I have a 30 minute special on the degenerates. I am the last one in the degenerates.

Thank you. Nice. I should also mention that that week of Rochester, I'm in Appleton, Rockford and Peoria and Evansville. They have tickets available. Those are all on my site. Thanks, Jean. They're after my financial statement. The Senate, they'd like to get my financial statement.

At some point, I hope they get it. You're going to turn it over? No, at some point, I might, but at some point, I hope they get it because it's a fantastic financial statement. It's a fantastic financial statement and let's do that over. He's coughing in the middle of my answer. Yeah. Okay.

I don't like that, you know? You're chief of staff. Please leave the room. This kid is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn me in the fucking stand. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

What was that? That was the intro. Yes. I loved it. What's that all about? What are you doing? Well, you know, we did a couple long ones in a row for you. You know, Christina has been requesting for me on the side to do it a little shorter.

One for you, two for you, one for her. Is that not okay? Oh my God. I loved it. Can you say something? Are you really mad? Who wants a short intro? I do.

The listeners do. Everybody wants a short intro. No, the listeners definitely don't. That's all they've been saying, right? And a dove in the comments that they want it shorter. No, they're not saying that. They love it. They do like the long one, but you know, it's, you know, I work for both of you.

Yeah. Thank you. It's my birthday too. And for my birthday, I wanted a shorter intro. I hope you have a bad birthday just because of that. Hey. It won't happen again. I'm sorry.

A short. That's the worst intro I've ever heard. That was the best intro. Look how quickly we got to the fun. And now we're into the good times and everybody's excited because the good times are happening now. We got to the fun better. It's quicker.

I like it. Happy birthday to me. I love it. Thank you, Nadov. I think you should get a raise for that work. I think we should find a new producer to do that again. Let's talk once we stop rolling. Oh my gosh.

Don't do that again. Oh my gosh. Here's the thing. I am saying this now. Next week, and I'm not kidding, we have to have a 12 minute intro. No. Why? Because that's what people want and I want to give it to them.

Nobody really wants a 12 minute intro, babe. Yeah, they do. No. Even the maniacs out there that say they want it, it's a joke. They're not really going to sit through 12 minutes. Give them the joke they want. You sit and listen to it. You let me know when it's over and I'll come and sit down.

I'd love to do that. Okay. Yeah. Are you really going to do the whole episode with the intro song? Yes. Because people want that too on the internet. Yeah, that's a great idea. That's silly.

This is stupid. What are you talking about? The intro episode? Yeah, you said that. It's a better idea than the fart mic. Wow. What are you saying? What just happened?

I want to get rid of the fart mic. What? Whoa. I'm serious. I don't like it. No. Are you fucking kidding me? No.

Tom. Happy birthday. We've only been, first of all, discussing the fart mic for a decade. I know, but sometimes ideas are better than imagining. No. You know what I think is really happening? What? My fart count is a lot higher than yours.

There's the fart mic counter on Twitter, the account. I don't like it. I'm like 10 farts, right? Tom's like three. And I have a feeling maybe if you committed yourself a little more to the fart mic, you might enjoy it more. But right now your work is pitiful, and I think that's affecting your opinion of the fart mic.

I don't think that's what's happening. I just think that, you know, it was a fun thing for a minute, and now I want to move past it. I'm shocked. This is grounds for divorce. Divorce? Babe, I thought I knew you. Where do I sign?

I got a pen right here. All the listeners right now are freaking out. I know it. I know it. Everybody right now is like, is Tom or his jeans even on anymore? Your jeans are so fucking low and loose for even suggesting that we lose the fart mic. I think we should. Do you even wear denim anymore?

I've got all the... Are you even a mommy? Yeah. Next you're going to tell me that you don't like being called mommy or wearing jeans. Do not scream at me, mommy. Oh, wow. I don't even know you. This whole show is a fucking sham.

Why don't you work on your fart mic technique and then we'll talk about it. Okay. I'm just saying. I would like that if we did a long intro next week and if that microphone was gone. Yep. You got it, Tom. Whatever. No.

No. Not how you got it, Tom. No. The fart mic stays, guys. I remember when McDonald's sponsored this show and nobody liked our set the first episode here in the studio and I pushed for the fart mic. It was the fart mic that saved that episode. It was the fart mic.

It was my work and the Dove's work. You got a McDonald's, nigga? Yes. The fart mic sustains us and then we got fired from McDonald's. The fart mic was here. By the way, you're going to have a huge announcement to make about an advertisement that you're doing. When is this coming out?

This comes out next week. Oh, I can talk about it. As long as we for sure air this after the Sunday. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Should we just discuss? I mean, might as well set it up. It's really crazy.

It's bananas. Do these guys? Yeah, they know, right? Well, I don't know if any knows, but okay, you guys are going to die, but remember how McDonald's originally sponsored our studio, right? And that's why it was painted yellow and red. And some of you felt conflicted about the colors, whatever, but it was really nice having McDonald's as a sponsor because we got to eat all that free food.

It's great. I love McDonald's. I love McDonald's. It broke my heart. What happened? Because we played Uncle Terry and they weren't too pleased about the video and the content. And so, uh, well, we got let go and we had to return $2.3 million, right, which is kind of a bummer.

Um, now I got a phone call about a week ago, both of us, your mom's house. It's crazy. This is crazy. You guys are going to die. People are going to think that this isn't real. No, this is. 100% real. We have to show them like video and stuff.

Oh, you guys go. If you go to my Instagram and my Instagram account, there's the ad that I, you'll see. But I'm saying you're going to have to like document. You've documented. It's there. It's there. Okay. So listen to this.

So I get a call from our agent, turns out McDonald's felt they finally from the blowback from you guys and from the audience and the fans. Yeah. They did the right thing. They did the right thing. Yeah. Well, they acknowledged that. They overreacted.

They overreacted and not only that in light of pride and pride week, that it was a bit homophobic against the LGBTQ community and they weren't being inclusive enough. Yep. If we would take them back as a sponsor and basically McDonald's came crawling back to your mom's house and you were busy so you couldn't do it, but I went McDonald's is back in the fold as a sponsor. I swear to God. This is not a joke.

This is not a joke. And they asked both of us to be a brand ambassador at what's it called cluster fest, but Tom couldn't go for other various reasons. And I was a McDonald's representative at cluster fest and I made even a commercial for McDonald's. So unbelievable. We're back in business. Thank you. McDonald's.

Thank you so much. McDonald's. They gave us back the money. Thank you. Plus a little extra. Yep. So I'm stoked. Lambo.

Hey. Lambo time. Yeah. I mean, I can't believe it. Just placing an order for an orange Lamborghini. Thank you McDonald's. Maybe they'd come crawling back eventually. Yes.

It's really great. Yeah. What is this here? McDonald's. Cheeseburgers. McDonald's. Lay-A-Fish. McDonald's.

Chicken nuggets. McDonald's. McDonald's. Price. Free McDonald's all the time. Free McDonald's all the time. Free McDonald's. You got a McDonald's nigga?

Burger. Burger. Burger. Lay-A-Fish. Burger. Burger. Chicken nuggets. McDonald's.

Cheeseburgers. McDonald's. Lay-A-Fish. Burger. Burger. Burger. Men, what's up with that. Why don't you pick your own proyle?

And the nuggets. I love the nuggets. What do you mean? You may mix different types. Men and many friends try. Look. Oh geez. That is the, that's the lying MacGene's anthem.

Fart Simpson made that. That guy doesn't just make calls. He does fucking songs too! Jesus. Well let me tell you guys what, since now McDonald's is a sponsor of your mother's house, I don't know, they'll dig that. Well. Yeah, thanks McDonald's.

So McDonald's wants to let you know that they're bringing four of their most popular worldwide favorites menu items from around the world to America for a limited time. That's correct. Go ahead and go to McDonald's right now and you can try the tomato mozzarella chicken sandwich from Canada and the strupe waffle McFlurry from the Netherlands for a limited time only. That's right. I had that, that great Trump trap and this opening clip is the, the closest we've come

to cheering on Trump since he's been in office, which is he's doing this interview. You probably, I don't know, you've probably seen it by now, but with George Stephanoff was a few weeks ago and his chief of staff, Mulvaney coughs while he's doing it and Trump's like, you know, just get the fuck out of here if you're going to cough. It's so great actually. Probably like you said, it's the first time I've really been on his side. I mean, I'm doing an interview and you're fucking coughing, man. Yeah.

It's super annoying. I'm such a dick about it. He's like, get the fuck out of here. He's like, I don't like that. I don't like that at all. He's like, he's like, just if you're going to cough, man, I mean, well, he's so Trump, you know, is very media savvy. He worked for television for years.

Oh yeah. He went through that again. He knew how to reset right away. Yeah. That was. He knew. He was like, that guy is interfering with my sound. It's so funny.

But don't you have disdain for people like on planes and stuff when they start coughing and you're like, come on, one cough, okay, two coughs, okay, five coughs, repeat cough. Take a fucking lozenge, you idiot, you know. There's Robotussin. Go buy some. It is annoying. It's annoying. I mean, I'm not a player.

Yeah. Or like somebody who clears their throat, you know, you know, it's. Horking what you do. I would. I mean, come on. Like in public, it's one thing to be like at home in the car. I was at a spa somewhere in this guy. I was in a steam room and this guy was going cleaning his own teeth and I wanted to fucking

throw an elbow in his mouth. Like it was so gross. So nasty. Yeah. But you know, it's really troubling. Oh yeah. Well, you pull that, will you, will you scrub that to when he's like, you know, I don't like that.

I don't like that at all. It's coming up. All right. Right there. Hip, hip, hip. Scrub. He's coughing. Fantastic.

Financial statement. And let's do that over. He's coughing in the middle of my answer. Yeah. Okay. I don't like that, you know. You're chief of staff. If you get a cough, please leave the room.

Yeah. The disdain is the best. If you're going to cough, please leave the room. I'll come over here. Thank you. You just can't. Just to change the shot. It is funny how, look how upset he is.

Fucking dick. He can't fucking cough. Yeah. His New York accent comes out when he's angry. Yeah. Which is like, that's when somebody's usual, like their real, the way they speak comes out is when they're angry. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. So he's like, he's going to cough. You got to leave. Look at those hate daggers in his eyes. He's so pissed. Those white hate daggers. Around, you mean the white that is with the orange.

Why has, it's so crazy. Everybody talks about the orange thing though, but like, what is really going on? Tanning. He self-tans and then he puts the eye thing on, right? No, come on. No, I'm serious. It's going to be like a, is it? No.

And he's right. You put the eye things on when you self-tan. I'm not even joking, bro. There's a tanning bed at the White House? I'm sure. Of course. Well, there have to be. No, he tans.

And then he puts the eye thing on. I promise you, it's not a ludicrous suggestion here. And he's tanning and he's not, he's putting those stupid things on his eyes. He's the prep. No one's being like, hey man, you look like a raccoon. You got to fucking- Everybody says it. And then everyone talks about his hair.

He doesn't care. You ever see Margaret Cho's joke? She does about this. It's fantastic. She goes, oh, you got the white around your eyes? She goes, you got to blend, bitch. You know, she says it about so much better than me. But he's right fucking blend, bitch.

It's terrible. What are you doing? It's terrible. His whole sneeze is fucked and he's got all this money. Just make yourself look nice. That also, him and Michael Jordan piss me off so much with how they dress for how rich they are. Like they both avoid tailors.

Like it's a problem or something. Like they both really wear clothes that doesn't fit. He wears suits that are completely cut for another human being. And then, yeah. And then Jordan, same thing, Jordan's a billionaire. He has been for years. I know. He looks terrible.

Whereas none of his shit is cut correctly. None of it. No. Like that's the best one. But if you go to like, I mean, look at that shit. That's old. Look at WTF. What the fuck is Mike wearing?

That's a sight. It's called what the fuck. It's oversized. It's Mike's wearing. Yeah. Trump does like eating McDonald's too, right? Yeah. I mean, look at, look at, this guy's a fucking billionaire.

Looks terrible. Those jeans are too like, raver. Look at those. That shit. Garbage. That looks terrible. Garbage. Yeah, he's cute.

He's a handsome. Look at those. Yeah. Look at those jeans. Look at those jeans. Look at those jeans. Look at those jeans. Look at those jeans.

Look at those jeans. Nothing adds up. I don't know. He actually will wear, I mean, I guess that it's a big flex. If you're like, I'm so rich that I just don't give a fuck what it looks like. I'm not going to try to make it look decent. It looks insane. I guess.

But at that, at that level, you need to hire a stylist. You know. Yeah. He doesn't care. He just doesn't give a fuck. They, they, Trump suits, if you, if you look at like how the suits fit him, you can tell that it's the idea is like that he's masking, you know, It's fatness.

Right. But it actually looks worse because they're not, it's not cut right, man. No. You need to have your clothes tailored more when you're fat. Yeah. It's exactly. And if you make it baggier, you look fatter. Yeah.

You actually need to have it like tailored more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See like what is up with Trump's, all these like the, you know, clothing blogs and something, all agree that like his suits fit terribly. Fucking unbelievable. It's like you're a goddamn billionaire.

I know. Spend the fucking money, man. He's like, no, I know what I look like. Looks great. You got my eye, my eye mask shit on. Yeah. He's so fucking crazy. Whoa.

What's that? But I'm a big fan of leaving the room if you're coughing. Yeah. I agree. I was going to say, or the person who gets on the plane and they're clearly sick and they're coughing and it's a productive cough with phlegm and you're like, why are you on this flight with me? Are they bringing their ethnic food on?

Sorry. This is Western society. If you don't mind fucking Chris with his goddamn curry. I know. His non bread on a plane. Opening it up on a, you're in a enclosed tube. Barely ventilation. I know.

Do you know what the grossest thing I've ever seen though is a woman brought a Ziploc bag full of hard boiled eggs. No, that's unforgivable. A hard boiled egg and she was eating them out of a bag. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a new Starbucks drink that you have?

Yeah, it is. Yeah. You ordered something different. It rips, dude. Fucking rips. What did you order? It's a cold brew which has that like nitrous caffeine in it that makes you want to fight somebody.

Wow. It has that cascara cold foam. The other one is too sweet. Why? Well, wait. It has that because you ordered it. It's their name. It's not mine.

Wait, but what is cascara cold foam? It's mildly, it has a little bit of sweet to it, but not like, you know, they'll make a drink with like caramel and so much shit in it, you're like, I feel like I'm just drinking a Snickers bar. I know. So this has like a little bit of sweet to it, but the cold brew is stronger than their iced coffee. You know what you might want to try?

What? It's a waffle McFlurry from McDonald's from the Netherlands. It's a limited time item. Yeah, I would do it. It's the worldwide favorites menu available right now. Yeah, I would do that. Yeah. Yeah.

You have your own McDonald's? Yeah. No way. I do. Yeah. Yeah. I can go whenever I want. It's a limited time item.

We're going back now that we're back in with them. You should go now. Yeah. Cold brew, what is it called? The color. Cascara cold foam. Cascara. Look, it's their fucking name.

Don't look. McDonald's knows to have straightforward names for their items. Okay, but we are, all right. Sorry. I'll stop going. You really should have stopped at McDonald's because now they sponsor the show again. Why are you supporting Starbucks? They don't sponsor the show.

I put the cup out of the fucking frame. No, I also, and you know what's great about McDonald's, they give you- What's that next to your cheese right there? I don't know you're talking about some McDonald's McFlurry. I'm eating my McFlurries. Why don't you put it on the table? I've already had seven this morning. Why don't you put it on the table?

What? I ordered extra McFlurry crumbles. Okay. Anyways, you'll notice my shaky cheese. Yeah, it's your birthday gift. From Ali. From Ali, yeah. Our sweet Ali, and I still claim that this tastes a hundred times better than regular

Parm cheese. Now let me just show you this. The reason I brought this out, and my favorite thing in the whole world is a fresh container of Kraft brand shaky cheese, okay? And I believe they use Kraft American slices on McDonald's cheeseburgers. Well, now I'm a big American, so I'm a fan of that. Okay, ready? Okay.

Now, this is my favorite thing to do in the whole world. Don't judge until you try it. You open a fresh vat of Kraft shaky cheese. It's got to be fresh. You see how I just took this off? Take a whiff of that. Well, let me open the big side. You can really get it.

Take that in. Okay. Oh. Smells great. Now, oh my God, I love it. This is what I do. Smells like used panties. Speaking of which, I'm wearing some mom peepie panties.

It's got an extra layer, and I'm making money right now. And by the way, we saw your responses. You're welcome. A lot of you getting out of debt, paying off loans, selling those panties, selling those feet pics. That's thanks to us, thanks to our ingenuity, thanks to that entrepreneurial spirit. And I hope that many more of you continue to make money with your panties and your feet pics.

And yeah, we're happy that you're happy. I'm earning right now. I'm sitting and I'm stewing and my mom peepie panties. In your piss panties. Yeah. Okay, now ready? Are you ready? Yeah.

So this is what I do at home. What the fuck? No, I know. You've never seen me do this in 15 years. Yeah, I have. I do it secretly. I kind of tune it out. Okay.

And once you get it, you've got to put the shaky cheese in your palm. Okay, good job. And then you just give it a lick. It's my favorite thing in the whole world. Try it. Try it and you tell me if that isn't better than real Parmesan cheese. No, just try it. I'm good.

It's my birth that you have to. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. Just try it. I don't want to do it. Please. Just try a little bit in your palm and it's so good.

Okay. I love it. I mean, no, it's so good when it's fresh. It tastes. It's a little softer. You don't get to go, oh, no, it's good now. I just taste it. But don't you think it's better than traditional Parmesan cheese when it's fresh?

Then fresh. Yeah. Wait, you want me to compare this to fresh shaved Parmesan cheese? Yes. I don't because sometimes it's too strong of flavor and I like it better. This process kind. I don't know what they do to it, but I like. You are completely retarded.

Just take a lick. Yeah. It's good, right? No, it's fine. It's fine. It's not comparison to real Parmesan. Okay. What kind of spaghetti sauce do you like?

I don't know. Do you like ragu? Not really. What are you guys, what do you guys like? You like ragu, right? I mean, no. Ragu is bottom of the barrel, man. What the fuck do you?

Okay. Let me ask you this. King of England. If you had the option, if you had spaghetti, whatever kind you like, then you had this or fresh shaved Parmesan. Which do you? I like shaky cheese. This feels like a trick question.

I mean, no. This is the debate we're having. It's shaved. I mean, real shaved cheese is what you go for. Right? This is so much better. Benny? I'm the same.

If it's fresh. Whatever. And it's real, real Parmesan cheese. As cockroach. As cockroach. He eats like I eat. Cockroach. I've never had a real Parmesan cheese before.

And there you go. There you go, right there. That's why you too are kindred spirits. He and I had horrible childhoods. That's why. Yeah. You, him and Robert Paul Champagne would choose this shit and the rest of us would choose fresh shaved Parmesan.

I don't know. There's something about it. I don't even know why you would have to think that that's a debate. Because I grew up eating this processed shit and now I like it. You like the bad thing because you were exposed to it. And BTW. But I like grated real Parmesan, but I prefer this. I like Pop Tarts without frosting.

I didn't even know, like Josh Potter, he didn't know either that they even made frosting until like the 90s. You are the R word. So. Well, you like frosting. Yeah. Of course. What's your favorite Pop Tart flavor?

Strawberry. Right. And then cinnamon. Ooh. Well, cinnamon's not even a real thing. That's disgusting. How's that not real? I don't consider it to be a flavor to you.

Cinnamon's like, it's nasty. You know what? It's a spice. Fucking annoying though about this, I'll tell you. What? It's like a sippy cup. Yeah. Like a child.

And it's like, I mean, here's the thing, there's this whole movement now to get rid of straws. Oh, I hate it. And you're like, why? Well, apparently they end up, you know, in turtles noses and shit. Oh yeah. But here's what I'm saying. What the fuck are we trying to save turtles for? Right.

Like, do turtles do anything? They don't do tricks or flips or anything. Do they provide? Do we eat turtles eggs? No. Are we relying on turtle meat? No. And I'm like, I can understand if maybe the dolphins were eating them, and I like dolphins

because dolphins do flips. Dolphins taste good too. They're mammals. They're nice. They are nice to humans. But turtles don't really, they're kind of indifferent. I think we should throw a box of fucking straws in the ocean twice a day to speed up fucking up turtles.

I feel like- We don't need turtles. I agree. I feel like turtles are the cats of the sea. Yeah. They're not really likable. No. They're not, they don't love you, they don't care about you.

I kind of like when I see one of those oil spills and they're like, oh, your turtles got stuck in there. I'm like, so? Get rid of the turtles. Well, if it means I can't have a straw with my, you know, my fresh Coca-Cola. Paper straws can go fuck themselves, okay? Those are horrible. No.

Metal straws, I dig, but it's like, are you going to keep a fucking straw on you at all times for a turtle? I get it if it was like dogs are choking on straws on the top. I'll be like, I like dogs, but turtles, that's the big fucking case we're making for turtles. I know, and they're not likable animals. And it's like rats. It's like, you know, I don't care if fucking rats die. Or save the snakes.

Like who cares about snakes, turtles. Give a fuck about snakes, spiders, turtles. Yeah, save the spiders. No one cares. The shit. Koala bears. No. Turtles are very slow.

They don't do much. They eat lettuce. Don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck about you. If I go to the zoo, I'm going to fucking stick straws into the turtle feed, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. There you go.

Eat that. That's smart. You know what? I always enjoy a straw in my McDonald's fresh Coca-Cola. Yeah. Oh my God. They're fountain soda. Always right.

Level. What do we have here? So, you know, we're talking about, you know, turtles. You know how dumb they are? Yeah. So, you know, people are dumb for trying to save them. We got some other people here that are dumb trying to save some other animals. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let me see this. This is great. We seen this? No. Oh, this is great. So, these clowns are part of some, like, nerds. Yeah. They're like, oh, save.

So, they go to some slaughterhouse, right? Oh, boy. And they tie themselves to the equipment. Yeah. They used to do this shit in the 70s. Put this on. First play. This is great.

Congratulations. Stay in your teams. Vans are free to move out. Michael, stay in place to act as animal care receptacle. These guys have, like, walkie-talkies and shit. Like, this is a SEAL Team 6 extraction. Here they are. They're at the slaughterhouse.

Oh. The animals are terrified of them. Are those ducks? Yeah, ducks. They're scaring the ducks. Yeah, but that's way too many ducks. Wait a minute. You gotta kill them.

Of course. And this is how you make goose liver. Isn't this how you make paté? Paté. What's that? Foie gras? Isn't that some duck? Oh, that's what I'm looking for.

Foie gras. That's a foie gras. Uh, the puncie semas, they make the crispy duck. Peking duck. Delicious. Peking duck. Yeah. Yeah.

Look, all right. So, they're putting bike locks around their necks, locking themselves to the equipment that'll be used to slaughter the animals. Right? Yeah. And the people with these guys. Yeah, but hold on. So, here's what's happening.

You hear screaming? Because they turned the equipment on. No! No! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Right now! Good. Stop this! Grind them up. Stop this right now!

Grind them up. No, fuck! Oh my God! You're okay. You're okay. You're okay. He dies. He dies.

What number is this lock? What number is this lock? This is eight. He's eight. Oh. No, I'm just kidding. He's not dead. So.

And then this guy at the facility is a super, he's my favorite person in the video. Yeah. Get to that. Yeah. I understand your piece, but you're fucking up there. Yeah. Yeah. Truth.

That's true. Well, that's why, you know, honestly, if that guy had broken his neck or just died or... Like, they totally deserve it, you know. They totally deserve it. Yeah. It's private property. It's a business. They'd have been funny if they all...

I wouldn't mind. I would eat activist pate. I mean, you're so stupid. You're so dumb. You'd change your neck to fucking equipment. I know, but I'm telling you, wouldn't you love to eat pate made out of these nerdy activists? Sure. And a premium.

Stupid fuck. You're so fucking stupid. I mean, I celebrate people getting hurt all the time, but there's something really, really delicious about somebody so dumb who volunteered to do this shit. Like, you think you're making a state... First of all, you realize, so you're going to a place of work. Yeah. You might not work here.

These people don't care. You might not like it, but this is their job. Yeah. And you're tying your body to the equipment. I agree. You're fucking up some employees' day. Not only that, you're not going to stop this industry by doing this. Like, why don't you go protest the corporate, the headquarters, maybe, and embarrass them

publicly, but this will do nothing. This is my new screensaver. What the fuck? Have these people ever had foie gras? Foie gras? It's delicious. It's so good. Yeah.

They wouldn't be... I got a bad bite. I got a bad bite. I feel this way. I got a bad bite. That reminds me of that guy. What the fuck? It's amazing.

No! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It's very similar. Oh, my God! It's amazing. Tommy, can I please show you my TikTok curations? I never get tired of them, and luckily for you, we now have a TikTok intro for you.

Really? So honored. Let's set them up. Here we go. Thank you. I'm so honored. I heard you, bitches, was looking for me. Oh, my God!

There you go. I'm so happy. If you're ready to lose your fucking mind again in the deep, dark, disturbing world of Christina's TikTok feed, here we go. I haven't seen these. Okay. I got taken off the list, so I get to react in real time. I can't wait for you to see these, because you've been getting very upset with me when

I send them to you when you're on the road, and some of them may make you really angry. Some of them, your feet is fucked, like you get mad at me. Save mine for last. I actually found one. You did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so let's go. This young lady's got some stuff for you.

Yes, I'm orange, and I love it. So, stop trying to bully me, because I love being orange. Is that Leno's daughter? Right. I know, right. What do you think of her eyelashes? She's got that chin. She's got a lot going on.

She loves being orange, Tom. She loves being orange, yeah. Okay. I mean, she actually seems really mild compared to what you usually do. Right. Well, let's, we dip our toe in first. Oh, okay. I do think that this eyelash thing that everybody's doing.

This is big now. Horses are really leaning into this. They really, really like it. All those sluts on that show. Yep. That TLC show. Smothered. Smothered, yeah.

All the hookers have that. Dude, this is... Seems like they could probably make Josh come. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I do think that the lower the IQ, the thicker and longer the fake lashes. That seems... There's some correlation between that.

Like a spot on. Yeah. Okay. I want to tell something to you guys that I'm going to tell my friends and family. Meet me. Don't have a bucket this. If you have a bucket this, then you would basically have regrets if you die. When you die, I'm not dying yet.

Okay. What do you think is happening? This is pretty good. Now, what tickles you most about him? Like, how come you laugh at him? I knew it. I knew you would like him. I knew you would like him.

I mean, definitely that his eyes look in different directions is a good start. Also, there seems to be an empty, dead, soulless vibe coming off of him, and then the kind of... The lack of energy is also exciting. The monotone delivery. Also, a very... I like when somebody brings up something that is commonly known. So, when someone's like, you ever heard of a bucket list?

It's this thing? It's like, yeah. I think we've heard of it, yeah. When old school Tommy, or what's the same big time Tommy is like, when you get down, you just got to get up and try again. OS baby. You're like, that's common knowledge. That's not even...

Can I watch this again? Knowledge. Yeah, of course. Okay, I want to tell something to you guys that I'm going to tell my friends and family. Meet me. Don't have a bucket list. If you have a bucket list, then you would basically have regrets if you die. When you die, I'm not dying yet.

Where is he? Is that his house? I don't know. He's in the hospital. He looks like a refugee kind of holding area. Is that what that is? I don't know. He's just...

It's really cool to lay down. Well, you know what's interesting? Is that the end of this? Yeah, it's got a few of the makings of a cool guy video. The angle's bad, the lighting's crap. He's laying on a dog pillow, a dog bed of some sort. He's got simple thoughts. It's good to know that your algorithm is alive and well.

He's simple. Oh, God. This one is muted because it had music. Why don't you explain to people listening what you're seeing? Okay, right now, I see... Oh, boy. Ah, fuck, man. Dude, what's going on?

What the fuck is this? What is this? It's something I specifically found for you. It's for you. I just knew that it would upset you specifically. Well, okay. For me, this did upset me. It's a lady who appears to be living in extreme poverty,

crouched down on the side of the road next to a bucket, and then she has a little bowl in front of her which presumably has some food in it. She spits into it, kind of grinds it up and eats it. Is that a good description? She's in India, so they're kind of not rich there sometimes. I know, but what the fuck would you... What's this one for?

It was just on TikTok. It's like the most random one I've ever found. This is horrible. Of course. This is the worst thing you've showed me. I hated this so much. That's what I showed it to you. Yeah, but I thought you'd show me ones that you'll know I'll laugh.

This isn't funny. I know. You know what she could use? A lot of stuff. A tomato mozzarella chicken sandwich from McDonald's. Worldwide favorites. Menu, limited items. Please change this one.

Okay, this is what I'm talking about here. All right, that was a... I don't know, maybe a 30s, 40s woman with... What's on her chest? Quintuple H tits. Well, I knew you'd like that part. She's about 330 pounds. She's bald and she just poured milk on her head.

Yeah? While screaming? Yeah. That was nice. It could be considered art in some places. No, no, I think we're good. I think everyone's good. You're good on that one.

You so upset me with that lady. I know. I don't know why you're so upset. I know, that's one of my favorites. I think I need to cleanse the palate with an animal activist getting his neck broken. Does that don't have any more native? No, that was... That was it for you.

I got one. That was it? That's not that much. I thought you'd have more than that. Yeah, I have more than that. Don't worry, we'll load up next week. Please, there's so many great ones in the world. Here's mine.

Oh boy, I don't want it. Ready? I don't like it. The proper way to choke someone is put your hand here. Not here. If you put it here, you can collapse my trachea and I will die. If you put it here, I will come all over your cock. Stay safe.

The ending, the flash where she has no teeth there? She does not have no teeth. She's missing a tooth. It's different. She parties. She does party though. It's nice. That was a great find, Tom.

Yeah, and that's like, by the way, that's useful information too. You know how big time Tommy's like, hey, if you spend more than you make, you'll be broke. She's actually saying, you'll kill me if you do this wrong. If you push with your thumb on her trachea. That's a good point. That is a good one to grow on, as they used to say in the 80s. You want this right here, and then she'll come on you. She's a boss ass bitch.

I like her. I like her too. I actually like her. Yeah. Do you have any other ones? No, that's it. Aw, man. All right.

Yeah, but I mean, I think mine is very... That was a pretty great find, Tommy. I'm proud of you. I will come all over your cock. Ew, ew. I'm just glad that you're finally over on TikTok and you're appreciating the stuff that I appreciate. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. So can we look... I know it's old news at this point, but it's just so amazing to me that OJ is on Twitter. I saw something about this, but I couldn't look because I'm like, I can't get in this asshole again. Dude. This guy fucked up mine. When I turned 17, he ruined my birthday because that's the day that the chase was happening

in LA. I'll never forget. He ruined my... No, it was the 18th birthday. So here's this little bit of detail before. Oh, boy. You're probably well aware of it, but not just so you know. This right here, what we're about to watch first is the first video he put on his...

He just started at Twitter feed. He did this coincidentally on the 25th anniversary of the murders. Oh, boy. He does no marketing. So people are like, oh man, that was sad. He's like, hey, everybody, it's juice. I'm on Twitter now. He is so crazy.

Here you go. Watch this. He is so crazy. Hey, Twitter world. This is yours truly. Now coming soon to Twitter, you'll get to read all my thoughts and opinions on just about everything. No, thanks.

Now there's a lot of fake OJ accounts out there. Oh, yeah. This one at the real OJ 32 is the only official one. So this should be a lot of fun. Yeah. I got a little getting even to do. So God bless. Take care.

Oh, I got a little getting even. I don't know. That's threatening. That's all about. Here's the thing. As soon as I saw this right, like my first thought was like, he's going to be in trouble against it. Like just seeing him engaging is like, you're like, he's going to do something.

You know? Oh, yeah. I got the line. I got a little getting even to do it. You just know he's going to get into some shit somehow. Seeing him made me realize that I think trouble finds him, you know, some people that like, I don't know. You're right.

Because he's full of rage and he's angry and he's he's going to find you're right. He's going to start some shit. Do you see that? Is this other one in there? So crazy. Now, what do you think that Corky Kardashian is his daughter? You know how they say that the youngest is the youngest one. The chunky one is his.

Hey, Twitter world. Yeah. No. He did another one. Hey, Twitter world. He did another one on his Twitter account where he was like, if you pull it up, he's like, he's standing by a pool. He's like, hey, everybody, I was going to talk about sports, fantasy football, politics.

Now, why doesn't he get on Instagram because he likes to make videos? I think that's not it. Yeah. No, that's not his account. But he says. Oh, Jay. Oh, real. Oh, Jay.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. He's definitely not it. That's not him. No. He put out a. It's right there. You can see it's inside there.

Yeah. It's the first post. You see? Like he quoted it. Yeah. There you go, mommy. Okay. Now you go there.

That's his account. That's his third one. That one's the second one right there. Can you pull that one? Let's see what he says here. Hey, Twitter world. Hey. You know, for years, people have been able to say whatever they want to say about me

with no accountability. Wow. And now I get to challenge a lot of that BS and set the record straight. Yes, that is great. More importantly, I'll be able to talk about everything, especially sports, fantasy football and even politics. But for now, let me just say to my fellow fathers out there, happy Father's Day. God bless.

Wow. He's terrifying. What's this one? Yeah, this is the newest one. Hello, Twitter world. This is yours truly. You know, this is my first venture into the social media world and it's amazing. We're excited.

You know, especially how quickly they can put up counterfeit sites. Anyway, we'll deal with that. My life has always been involved in the sports world. And I suspect as a week goes on, that's pretty much what we'll be talking about. But once in a while, I'm going to go off topic and talk about something else. And this is one of those times. You know, Bob Kardashian, he's like a brother to me. He's a great guy.

He met and married Chris and they really had a terrific time together when they were together. Fortunately, that ended. But never. And I want to stress never in any way shape or form had I ever had any interest in Chris romantically, sexually. And I never got any indication that she had any interest in me. So all of these stories are just bogus. There you go.

He's always getting falsely. He's always on the victim's side. Always. Let's see. Yeah, he just started. He's got 727,000. Yeah, it's going to be. It's going to be well over a million soon.

But it's crazy that he's like, people are like, let's see what this crazy motherfucker is going to say. That's like everybody who's following. Now, do you think if he gets enough of a social media following that he'll be considered an influencer and get and get work and branding things? I think it's probably why he signed up for it. I think he probably signed up for it because, you know, the only thing that they're not allowed to touch of his is his NFL pension.

But, you know, he lost that civil suit. He's liable. It owes tens of millions of dollars. I'm sure he's, you know, lost tons of whatever possessions assets he had over the years. So I bet you it was somebody like telling him like, you know, you might be able to monetize. Who would? I mean, it had to be like a porno company or like a gambling site. Well, you just named it.

Degenerates. Yeah. Totally. Total degenerate. Like fucking maybe like a gun maker. Right. Like knife people. You guys were like knives.

I love these steak knives, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. You can cut anything with this. Yeah. You probably do that shit. I'm sure he would. Yes, he would.

Gensu. I'm for sure. If they were like, you know, cut a can or cut a lady's head. Whatever you want to cut. What? Oh, man. Yeah, it's cold. He's, he's cold, man.

He's scary. Let's, yeah. Let's, uh, what's this other video, the spit and game thing? I haven't seen this. Got to, got to wash OJ off me. Soon buddy. Somebody talk some shit. Talk some shit.

Don't talk some shit, bro. I like this kind of shit right here. So this is a dude who just, oh yeah. This is like in the vein of like, let me smell you. I don't like him already. I don't want it. I am a fan already. Nope.

No, thank you. No, thank you. No push. I want me with no motherfuckers. I want to suck them pussy and I don't want no bullshit. When I come there, I come that with tongue and I don't play. I suck and die, but I very seldom play. Let me see the tongue.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Just a little bit of, just a sample. Hmm. It's really nice. Marry like that pussy. What's the marrow? The marrow is when you get close to the bone and just put it out and make them tremor like a dog shit. I'm done.

Oh, done. Make it weak in the knees. He wants the marrow from your pussy. I've never even heard that. It's pretty original. You know, I'm going to find some real special TikTok videos for you for next week. Oh, you did. You don't have to find any more.

About the booty. Oh, yeah. I tongue that ass too. Tongue the hell out of that ass. That would skip them off when you shoot that tongue in that ass. I'm going to throw up. Oh. Uh-uh.

Oh my God. No, this ain't God. This is Stanley Earl. There you go. That was really nice. I feel sick. I tongue that ass too. That turn you on?

God. You want to give him that bone marrow from your pussy? Yeah. Babe, what is wrong with you that you think this is fun? I'm going to suck them pussy. What is wrong with you that you think he's like a fun guy? Now there's a cool guy. It's a cool guy.

Yeah. That guy's definitely a cool guy. He's super cool. I like that guy. Your mom's house will be right back. And we're done with peeing and we're done with everything else. And now it is time for everybody's favorite segment. Josh Potter is here.

The ladies' favorite. Ladies' choice. Ladies' choice. Ladies' choice. So much going on with your life. It's a whirlwind, baby. I mean, women offering themselves to you. Ah, it's a dream.

This is insane. I mean, by the way, those three finalists from a few weeks ago were so generous. And all three were just out of this world, out of your league. Oh, of course. And I'm getting chastised for my choice. Any choice would have been. It's a subjective choice, really. It was your choice.

People putting themselves in my shoes, I can understand them having different reasoning and things like that, which is fine. I made my choice, all right? What's the pushback? What are people saying? Should have picked the first girl. Should have picked the third girl. It's like, that's who you would have picked, bro.

That's who you would have picked, exactly. Right. Get yourself on a podcast. All right. And have the host of it, make a contest. And then you can do what you want. Exactly. I did see a lot of people message me.

You know, I got a lot of this week or last week, a lot of people messaged me, hey, Tom, I can't come either. Oh, wow. So we've opened up a whole new door of guys I can't come. Maybe I'll start a foundation. And you're also just because there's so much going on. You have Jackie. Apparently he's going to come to, I think, some city, meet you.

At least meet you. Yeah. And then your lesbian friend comes with you. Yeah. Then you are also working as a broker for panties, right? You're a panty broker. Panty aggregator. Yes.

Panty aggregator. Yes. Then. That's my new business. If you're interested, ladies, if you don't think you have the distribution power to get your panties out to the world to maximize your profitability, I'm here for you. Let me take charge. We'll get you out.

Get you out there. So there's, there's that part too. Yeah. And then. You're a panty pimp. Panty aggregator. That is what we are. He's chosen that title.

To mean it. Yeah. Okay. Then before we get into this, there's amazing stuff we've talked about here, but did you add a date? Is this correct? Oh yeah. The first stop of the Make Josh Come Tour is set.

It's on sale right now as this is out. It's in Seattle at the rendezvous September 5th. Tickets on sale right this fucking minute. Dude, you guys have got to go. Seattle. Josh Potter, September 5th at the rendezvous. Yes, sir. And there's not that many tickets.

So you got to get them. Where? Can they buy the tickets? You can buy the tickets. The links are on my Instagram bio, my Twitter bio. You find them all there. Okay. Great.

And there's going to be more cities coming. Yes. Yes. We're going to be announcing more hopefully soon. But Seattle, you are the first test, the first experiment in the Make Josh Come Tour. And we're also waiting to hear from a certain consulate to see if you're going to be coming to certain countries. That's true.

Yes. A certain consulate. Yes. What's this code all about? Well, that's not code. That's really there. I have to go to a consulate and discuss my entering a certain country and I'm hopeful that they'll let me.

Hopefully that comes together. I'm no OJ. So that's hopefully. You're definitely not. I'm not. But you've both made many women cry. Yes. Now, there is something that people didn't think this could happen.

I mean, honestly, in my wildest dreams when this started, I didn't think this would happen. But the truth is that it did fucking happen, which is that you have just got back from visiting one Robert Paul Champagne. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. It is insane. I was in his presence.

I can't believe it. He was as far... Well, you're a little further than he was for me, actually. He's a deal man. So can you tell us about... I mean, we're going to be... We have in the works right now, the great Paul Brazil went with you. Yes.

A great filmmaker to come along with you. He's done incredible videos and for all types of things. But when I saw what he'd done and he asked if he could come to this, I felt so lucky. Yeah. He asked. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, this is a whole...

I mean, he... I feel like he's been to war zones. He's a real deal. He's filmed everything. And this was something that he's never filmed before and he was like, I need to be a part of this. So people that, you know, obviously you're back now, but you flew to New York. Yes.

And you got to the city. And then what... Take me... I know we have... I'm saying we have videos coming to show inside the actor studio. Yes. No, we have a full profile coming up from Robert Paul Champagne. I'll just give you my mindset throughout, I suppose, leading up to it.

Of course, I was sleepless. You know, I mean, I imagine that, like, you know, I haven't had conversations with Oprah or Anderson Cooper or any of these types, George Stephanopoulos, but I'd imagine they have a similar feeling going in when they're about to interview a dignitary or like the Queen of England or something. I had that feeling going and I didn't, you know, I had to be prepared. When you arrived, did you go to the hotel? Well, I flew in, arrived, I went to the hotel to freshen up, you know, so I can be professional.

You've tried for your date. Yes. How'd you have been texting with him, calling him? I actually... I was calling him leading up. He still didn't believe I was coming, which is fine. Many of you on his Instagram Live were reassuring to him and he wasn't... He wasn't sure, you know, and I get that.

He's been stood up a lot. Oh, is that right? So I was on the tarmac of the runway trying to really convince him that I'm coming, you know, so I'm in his Instagram Live telling him and he's like, we'll see, we'll see. And finally, I got him on the phone and I said I'm coming and he's like, well, do you mind if I wear any clothes and I was like, you can be however you feel most comfortable for the... I want you, I want Robert in his natural habitat, most comfortable.

This is about your art, Robert, so we want you to express yourself as you feel fit. You sound a lot like him, by the way. Like your impressions? Your impressions are really good. I feel like I'm really off. Do you feel like though, the way that he talks in these lives and in the interview is so different from... Man's a deal, man.

Yeah, that one specific video, the one that we all fell in love with initially, has a different tone to it. Yeah, it does. And he gets to a little bit of that, I think, like, I think he speaks to that, if I recall, when we talk to him. But yeah, I mean, when I got to two, three, nine, five Wagner housing projects, it was like... 24th and 1st Avenue.

I mean, it's like, I felt like I was Neil Armstrong, you know what I mean? I felt like I was in the first person to plant that flag. Did you feel like you had reached Mecca? Like this is... Yeah. I'm being serious. Did you feel... What was the feeling when you knocked on his door?

It was overwhelming. Did you call me at the forehand? I called you right... When I arrived, I was staring at the structure, I had approached it, and I was about to ascend to the point in which where Apartment 2C is when I called you. And so I was like... No, wait, tell us what's the neighborhood like? It's a housing project, like you'd see pretty much anywhere there was a gentleman outside

shooting fireworks into the sky, and this is in the daytime, and there's some people that would be like, you know, like, why you got a camera for that kind of thing. So was that a little unsettling? A little bit. Then we didn't know how to get inside, you know, they keep it very protected, and then it turns out that that's not that protected. I figured it out way and quickly, but it turns out you can just be like, hey, can you let me in and someone will do it.

So were you scared? Were you nervous? No, I was never... I was only scared that I wouldn't live up to the task. But you were a little nervous, right? So it's exciting. Yes, of course I was nervous. I mean, I'm interviewing someone of such importance, I need to like execute, you know?

So of course I was nervous. Now you got, as Christina is mentioning, you know, this is such a big deal, you're overwhelmed with emotions, you actually had the sense to pull out your phone? Yes, I pulled out my phone to witness the initial opening of the door. I mean, this is the first time I'm seeing him with my own eyes. He's seeing me. We're making person-to-person contact now. Keep in mind, this is from my cell phone.

I am no Paul Brazil. I'm not a filmmaker here, so I apologize. But what we get, the final product will be much better than this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Paul brought like a real camera. Oh, two cameras? I mean, yeah. Let's see what we got here.

So let's, let's do knocking on his door. Oh, that's how I knew the door. That's how I knew the door. There's a charge key on it. Yeah. There's like a... Move, Ashley! Ashley!

That's his cat, Ashley. Hello. Hi, Robert. Hi. Hi. Can we come in? This is Paul. He's our director.

There he is. I'm Josh. Don't mind the place, not the great street. Oh, that's okay. Where can we go? Where can we set up? No one here. Is it Christmas?

No, that's okay. You should see my place. It's way worse than this, believe me. Where should we set up? Where do you want us to sit? Here? Where do you feel comfortable sitting? I sit here, actually, because...

You sit there? I sit over here, because I'm uncomfortable over here. I don't bother that bedroom. Okay. Okay. Yeah, well, where do you want us to set up the camera here? It seems like it's... Can I press pause?

It feels... First thing I... Wow. First thing I think of is Silence of the Lambs. Second thing is... It seems very dark. Very dark. Oh, yes.

He's definitely got... What's the French word? Like, the milieu is very on brand. Is there a lot of Christmas stuff up? I feel like I saw a lot of... Yeah, he likes sparkly things. He's into design, and his... What's he wearing?

His bent seems to be the more flashy Christmas-like ornament, but he's wearing a black tank top that we all know and love. It's almost like his uniform at this point. And... And that is it. He's Donald Duck in it. There's no underwear on. No pants.

There is no underwear. Wait a minute. He answers the door that way. He answers the door with his junk hanging out and just a filthy black tank top. Well, like a true professional, he answered the door prepared to begin the interview, and he knew the cameras would be rolling immediately, so he was already prepared. So, yes, he didn't have his pants on. We have so many questions.

And that's how he... His head is rolling. Now, it's very dark. It looks musty a little. Yes. And so, all this bullshit... Sorry. The items behind you...

Yes. It's like Marty... Is it like Mardi Gras featheries? It's his art. Yes, it's his boas. It's his costumes. I see. Okay.

It's his designs. Like masks and stuff? Like dolls? You know, honestly, I couldn't get a detailed inventory of it all. I mean, it was so much and so dark. So many guys have been in there, in fact. Yeah, you'd hope. Yeah.

You know, I hope so. Did you feel that? Like, you know, when you walk in to, like, Auschwitz, you're like, this is where people thought... The spirits? Did you feel the spirits of guys? Well, you compared it to Auschwitz. I'll compare it to something like Chernobyl, where I walked in, and it was like, I could

feel a lot of things radiating my body. I thought you would have said, like, Oz, maybe, you know? Like, Oz? That, too. I mean, I guess I've never been to Oz. I'd imagine when you're in that, too, you feel some sort of energy when you're inside. And you don't know how long you could be exposed to it. That's sort of what it was.

It was very, like, you know, I did want to skip and kind of, like, have a lollipop, I suppose, but... So this video's not yet done. Can we... No, yeah, you can keep it going. No, yeah, you can keep it going. I don't know how you do cameras. I don't know.

No, yeah, that's okay. I just wanted to know where you wanted to sit. Where are you situated? I'll sit over here, actually, because I'm kind of... Okay, do you mind if I sit here, then? Yeah. Awesome. Here's my crazy seat.

Okay, I'll let... Okay. It's all right. Okay, and I see his penis. Oh, sorry. I mean... Is that it, Larry? Guys, he...

I mean, I... Like, here's the thing, is that we're so used to him that it's not surprising that... What, that he has penises on? Yeah, you're like... Oh, dude, I sat from here to here from his penis, and it didn't even... I wouldn't have preferred it any other way. Yeah. How was it?

It was fantastic. We had a lovely conversation. So tell us what's coming, because I want to... The things you can look forward to are... We discover how he developed a taste for urine. Oh, that's interesting. I'd like to know about that. We learned that.

We learned some of the celebrities that he's... What? Had romps with in the past. And what is the plan? Can I ask this, Nadav? Are these going to be released on the Clips channel as like individual... You know what I mean? Clips?

Or how are we doing that? Yeah, wherever we post these. I mean, we could either post them on the main or the Clips channel. It depends. Wow. I'm like reeling from... I can feel... I just...

I feel like so much... Or do we play them on here first? And then on the... You know what I mean? Ooh, that's a good call. Yeah, let's... I think we should play them here first. I'd like to see them.

I think how long they are. Let's... At least the highlights will play the show. Yeah. I mean, this is really exciting. And then you also... There will be a full expose. Yeah, yeah.

But you went there with also a GIFS. That's right. So I showed up with his GIFS. We gave him all of the merch that he's inspired. And he was pretty indifferent towards that part of it. We gave him a new laptop, which I hope he gets to figure out how... Was he excited about that? Yeah.

He says he has one and he doesn't know how it works and it's old. So he's going to donate that, which is very nice of you, Robert. And he's going to start using that for his future business endeavors, which he discusses in the interview. And then we gave him some money and he was very happy about that. He's like, I have to put this away. And so he hid that immediately. And then I just carried all these goods.

And we also gave him... Oh, we also gave him a phone too. iPhone. Yes. Wow. What did he say about the iPhone? Well, he had a few questions that I personally am not of the level of which I can answer because I don't work for Boost Mobile.

But I figured he could take it there and figure out some way to make it work. If you're a T-Mobile employee, you might want to hit Robert up. Yeah. So he was excited to have a new phone though. But yes, the thing that really made his eyes light up was I brought everything in a Trader Joe's tote bag and I was like, and you can have this bag too. And he was like, oh, I could use this. He was really excited.

Oh. He liked the cash. Yes. He did like the cash. I'm sure he'll find great use for that. Not only did we give him presents, but he noticed that you were very sad about Theo's passing and it's also your birthday. So he sent me back with some presents for you, Christina.

You're kidding. Oh, how sweet. How thoughtful. Oh, boy. They come in this bag. Oh, boy. Is this the original bag? Is this a Robert Paul?

This is a bag from his home also. You're kidding. He goes, hand me that bag. And I turned around and I said, which one? Because there was lots. And so he's like, that one right there. And I said, oh, this one good. He's like, no, not that one.

This is a big moment. This is a gift. This is from this is all this item is from his apartment. Guys, I I feel like I'm in contact with the divine. Like this is. Yes. This is really from Robert Paul Champagne. Yes.

He picked these out for you. Oh, my God. This is the universe's way of saying happy birthday. I'm so. Oh, my goodness. Wow. This is lovely. Yeah, look, it's a little bag for coins.

I love it. That's nice. He made them too. Wow. He made them. He made this. Yeah, he makes all these things. Wow.

Why don't you describe it? Well, I'm sorry. It's like a coin. A coin person. It's got a lovely gold tassel. That's very nice. And I love sequin and a blue sequin thing. It's very nice.

Oh, my goodness. What else? Wow. It's it's a Barbie. Yes. Wow. He designed its outfit. Wow.

That's quite impressive. Yes. He makes all that. That's what if you notice the picture I posted on Instagram and Twitter, you notice a bunch of dolls behind him. This is lovely. And she's going right on the mantis. Yeah, she should be right behind you at all times.

Are you kidding me? Yes. Now, I'm I'm that's going to be worth. He says that's going to be worth lots of money. Of course. It is already. That's why I should be on our set. No, I'm just noticing.

I think in her fabric. Yeah. It's a little smoky. Oh, is that smoke? I don't know. Maybe that's cigarettes. It definitely has some of the milieu of Robert's apartment on it. Yeah, it might be like his.

His essence is. This is lovely. Thank you so much, Robert Pulse. I mean, I'm honored. I'm really honored. This this is from his home. Yes. There's more inside.

Oh, OK. I want to put it up. Well, yes, it's just some jewelry for Christina to wear at night on the town. Oh, my goodness. How wonderful. Wow. That is just so sweet. Some pearls.

Yeah. Wow. Well, how lovely. That's very nice. That's very thoughtful. Yeah. So when you're at the when you're at the comedy store or, you know, on the red carpet, I mean, listen, I have met celebrities.

We've had celebrities on this couch and nothing means more to me in my entire life than these items. Thank you so much. Yeah. Robert Paul's campaign. Now you both have some bling you can wear. Yeah. I mean, I kind of I've got to be honest.

I think it's very nice. Kind of feel a little slighted. Yeah. You know, he didn't have many gifts for you, Tom. But he I think he knows that you're going to come visit. He does. So what? And so he's very excited to give you some presents and presents.

And you left the thing. Yeah. And that's neat. Yeah. Yeah. And then what else did you see? You're going to visit him? Wait.

When I left there. Yeah. So what else? So you interviewed him. We have multiple videos coming. Oh, yeah. And then what did you do with your time in New York? Did you smash?

Did you? Oh, no, I went to bed. You didn't swipe right about. I was so tired. No, I didn't. I got off on all those things. I got off of all those things. I did have a.

You did? Yeah. Why? Because those things are for the birds, man. Wow. Birds. Yeah. Like they're all the whole thing is based off your physical appearance, which it's like,

okay, I'm not batting a thousand in that department. So it's like, oh, okay, I'm I'm not going to get a smoke show just from. You know, I keep thinking about for you that that was a Danielle girl last week with the toys. Yeah. That's who everyone else. She joined the trolls in my inbox. No, I just picture her fucking clubbing you and.

Hey, I'm willing to give all three a go around here. I mean, we got to figure out how to get this sort out of the stone. You know, it's not going to, you know, Jackie is going to be the first crack at it. It doesn't mean she's going to do it necessarily. I'm not throwing shade. That's true. You know what I'm saying? Like there's going to be ample opportunity.

And Seattle, September 5th. That's your chance. That's true. All right. Is there anything else? I think that's it. Don't forget to go see Josh and Seattle. Thank you to Robert Paul Champagne, of course, for allowing this exclusive 60 minutes interview

to take place. I want to thank the great Paul Brazil for accompanying you and shooting this content. And I think we have, I think we have at least three pieces coming together. Right? Of things you guys shot. Yeah. At least be one huge, awesome video too. Okay.

Cool. All right. It's mind blowing. It is mind blowing. Blown away. This is the best birthday I've ever had. How does it look? Looks so nice.

Thank you, Robert. I love it. Thank you, Josh, for doing it. Thank you for letting me do it. Thank you for allowing me to go there. It's amazing. And to see and smell everything. That's beautiful.

Thank you. Okay. We've really rarely done this. I mean, I know we did it episode 500 because Brendan Urie gave us that amazing song, but we actually had to, we had to do this. We had to stop and, and insert what we're about to play for you because it was so epic, so well done that it, it merited coming in here and, and putting this in this week's episode.

As you guys know, Josh Potter went to New York. And survived. And survived. A lot of people want to know, is he alive? He is alive. He is here. He has new medication, but he's, he's here. And he has, he went there with this great super talented guy named Paul Brazil.

And Paul is a, you know, director, videographer, editor. He shot the whole thing. We saw the, the documentary, it's like a half hour documentary. We're going to release it on the main channel on the eighth. Is that correct? Yeah. July 8th on Monday, 12 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. It'll upload to the main channel.

Full interview with RPC will be uploaded to the main YouTube channel. You guys are going to die. It's unbelievable. You don't know, you have no idea what's about to happen. And the trailer alone, I watched about 20 times. I'm not exaggerating because it's just that good. And the interview is going to blow your mind. It's that good.

And yeah, it is going to blow your mind. Josh killed it. Josh did such a great job. Paul was amazing, Paul Brazil. And of course, Robert Paul Champagne, the subject and of course, star of the show. It's still, I know we've said it before, but doesn't it, if you, if you've listened to this show, if you've watched this show, doesn't it kind of blow your mind that we went from a one minute clip of a guy who were like, that guy is dead for sure.

And then, you know, we played those drops, we made shirts, we, you know, we, we talked about this make believe person, basically, not only did we find them and, you know, we used to show him to everybody, but that we actually found them and then went and spent time with him. And you got to know all these things about him, which again, like Josh got so much out of him. It's just, it's, it's, it's beyond fascinating. So there's also some, some juicy details, some celebrity hookups that Robert Paul said.

Salacious details. Salacious. He talks about getting how he started drinking piss. It's all there. It's all there. So without further ado, we're going to play for you right now the trailer, the trailer for the documentary of Robert Paul Champagne that's going to come out on our main, your mom's house podcast, YouTube channel comes out July 8th at noon.

After the trailer plays, the episode will continue on to our interview with Theo Vaughn. So here, without further ado, is the trailer. I hope you enjoy it. Man from jail. This one video is sort of a classic. Is that from your show? No, I'm just fascinated by that guy. Free rent.

You get a lease and a key. Fuck me. Piss on me. Beat me. I'm home now. You know, people found his Instagram and you know, send it to us like, oh my gosh, like we found the original account that he's uploading to. That's about as free as it gets.

He's taking over the world. Sincerity in his eyes. He gives a street address. Hi, I'm Robert Paul Champagne and you're watching your mom's house. Alright out. Our next guest is a comedian and the host of the very popular podcast this past weekend. He is known to his legion of fans as the rodent boss. It's Theo Vaughn.

I just thought it was a good time to, oh my God, sorry. I like that man. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little kind of cut it off that as you go. Yeah. That's funny. You say that.

There's actually, there's a version of this. See, that one is a. Did y'all write that or it's somebody made it? Somebody made that. And then what I've been trying to do is have it looped. So like that you can just extend, extend, extend, extend, I mean, I'm not, yeah, I don't know. It doesn't put you in like a mood.

Like, oh yeah. That's why I was just feeling starting to kind of get into, I think, a mood. And then I had to come out of it because you stopped it. I stopped it. See what this is exactly. And by the way, I don't know if there's a way you could pull up the petition. This is a current one for 10 minute plus intro songs. Oh, they just, someone just signed it.

It's just went up. And what about if people don't have 10 minutes? Four more people signed it. 10 minute plus? They want the intro song to be 10 minutes plus of this show. Oh my God. No, I just want like about maybe eight or 10 more seconds of it as well. Oh, that's all you wanted?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I thought you wanted it to be like super long. But do you really want to sit through 10 whole minutes of an intro song? I mean, think about, think about the reality. I think they like the joke. The reality, it's. It was at 7,000?

Yeah. That would be pretty long, I think. How many songs are 10 minutes, like Pink Floyd songs? Yeah. Oh, one of those sleep meditations. I love those. I do that a lot. Yeah.

Those really help. Oh, sorry. Here we go. I was just, I said, no, how long it currently doesn't work. Yeah. So I have, I have a six minute, you see, he likes it. That's exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah.

Actually, let's start over again. Can we do it? You want to just do it? Yeah. Put it on. Yeah. It's kind of a nice riff. No.

Look at him. It looks like he's going to meditate. Yeah, but he probably listens to. It sounds like somebody, yeah, somebody's making tacos at a fucking, you know, at a, like at a construction site. Right. Yeah, dude. Extra salsa.

Yeah. I kind of like it. You can hear the salsa hitting the thing. Yeah. What kind of music do you normally listen to? Yeah. What kind of music are you into? I listen to like a limited series of songs, really.

I think I listen to maybe, let me see, I listen to some Bieber, I listen to some Goo Goo Dolls. I listen to a little bit of rap music. Yeah. And I listen to country music too. Yeah. Do you like the song? It's popular on TikTok. Got an old town road.

It's going to fuck your butt. Yeah. You're going to jangle your toes. Yeah, it's definitely. Got the horses in the back. Yeah. Yeah. I want to see some, I feel like a lot of guys are going to be getting like back tattoos

to that. Yeah. About that. Definitely. Yeah. That's like a whole new, he created a genre basically. He did. Yes.

And he actually has a new album. And I heard that, that new song, Panini. Have you heard that? That's that Trillie Nelson. That's it. Bumps, dog. Panini. That's real?

Yeah. About the sandwich. I don't know what the fuck it's about. Mount Cooter. Somebody posted, I guess it's a meme that, because his style is so unique that somebody, the meme was like, somebody asking Lil Nas X, what genre do you want this album to be? And his answer was yes. Because it is like just all kinds of shit's going on.

But I think it's dope. I like, and it's easily impossible to not like that guy is really, the guy who sings that song. The old town road. Lil Nas X. Lil Nas X. What song is it? No.

I know. I feel like that. So how can he be Lil L-I-L-I-M? Do you know how many Lil's there are? I don't know. There's a lot of Lil's. There's a little Skies. And I, I'm so, like, I thought I know, you know, some people in this genre of music.

I'm like, who the fuck is this? It's got like four million Instagram followers. You know who he is? I have no idea how many Lil's there are. Lil Darrell. Lil Darrell. Lil Uzi. Lil Uzi.

Lil Wayne. Lil Smokey. Lil Dead. Lil Shots. Lil Dead, actually. This Lil Skies right here. Lil Dead. Lil Murder.

Oh. That's Lil Skies. He's got a lot of facial tattoos. He does. Lil Ink Poisoning. Yeah. That's dangerous, huh? Very dangerous.

Wow. That's too much ink by your heart. Look at that one guy. Well, isn't that dangerous to get under your eye? Tattooed? I don't have any tattoos. I have one. Tramp stamp.

Yeah. Yeah. Kalila and I traded the pictures of ours. Oh, you did? Yeah. What's hers? And hers is much better than mine. Oh, it is?

Hers clearly looks like a dragon. Mine looks like the low-end brow symbol. Yeah. And it's green now. It was black in the 90s. You know what? It's the life worth living. It's worth living.

It's fucked up. Huh? Can you sue them or anything? That's crazy that I'm suing them. No. That tattoo shop. That a black would go to green. Well, isn't that what happens over, isn't that, whatever, is everybody's tattoos?

Over time. I don't think so. No. Oh, really? Did you see that one? Whoops. It's a bullseye tattooed on her asshole just like a couple days ago. Oh, man.

Have you seen that one? Can you pull it up? It's really special. Man, where was it? In Vietnam? No. No. The fucking tattooer is wearing a surgeon's mask.

Oh, my God, dude. This is why I don't want to fly a bra to get my teeth whitened or anything. It really was impressive. Is it? Oh, yeah, here it is. No, I wouldn't do anything. Look at this. Look at this.

Look at this. Oh. Oh, my God. Are they? Yeah, dude. That's her butthole. That's her butthole. Wow.

It's a bullseye. Oh, man. That's a cool way to commitment. Wow. It's going to take a small bull to get in there. Right. Look at that. Whoa.

Whoa, bro. I'm all pornography right now. Are you? Really? What do you mean? Maybe shut that down. You don't mind. I don't mind.

Wait, tell me about this. Yeah. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah. I'm not doing pornography anymore, man. Probably since I've been off a year. You've been off for a year? But there's been a couple of, like maybe just two or three hiccups, you know?

Yeah. So, and the one loophole, a lot of times I find, if I want to get on my cell phone where I don't want to watch any pornography and you can put blockers on yourself and in your computer, then the loophole is on Twitter. Twitter somehow kind of gets through the... Tell me, what's the origin of this? Like what led you to this? Yeah, pornography.

Why are you off of it though? What made you stop it? Yeah, I don't want it anymore. I get it. I feel like it's just the devil, you know? Uh-huh. I feel like it just makes me... But did you have like a...

You were just like, so there's something I'm going to do. Like a year ago, you were like, I'm just stopping. Yeah. I just... Yeah, it just wasn't doing me any good, man. I didn't like the way it made me feel. It made me feel. I didn't like the way that...

I didn't like masturbating at night. After a certain point, it was just like, what's going on? Like this doesn't seem like someone doing for joy. It just seemed like a bad habit, you know? And were you doing it too frequently? Did it become like... No, I wasn't like a crazy guy. Dictive?

I thought it was unhealthy. It just felt bad. Yes. It felt like an unhealthy habit. It didn't feel like an addiction, but it felt like, okay, it's the end of the night. Like I'll, you know, jerk off, then go to bed. And it just felt like, what is this even doing? And then I started to think, I think of sex as like this thing, like, oh, it's just

not that important or it's not really a real thing. I don't know. I just start to worry about what other ways it was like landing in my mind. Well, it was making you maybe think of it as a more detached thing. Oh, yeah. Sex is like with an object as opposed to like a person. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You're not really like thinking of it as an intimate thing, right? Oh, totally. 100%. And did you have a religious upbringing from the South, yeah? Yeah, I'm from the South and from Louisiana, but I didn't have a religious upbringing, but it just made me feel kind of, I don't know. Dude, hit me with the birth name because I read this and I was like, I can't even say it.

My name? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Theodore Capitani Von Kornotowski. That's what it was a name. It's crazy. Oh, they used to call me the N word all the time in Louisiana. What?

Which word is that? Huh? Huh? I mean, you can pick one, but it's just because anything that gets a little too many, you know, anything that gets a little wild, they used to drop the N bomb. What kind of last name is that? Yeah. Tell me the story.

My father's from Nicaragua. My father, his mother's from, my grandmother's from Nicaragua. My father was raised there and then he moved to Louisiana when he was 12. So your father was like had a childhood in Nicaragua. Yeah. Moved to Louisiana when he's 12. Yeah. Live there the rest of his life and met your mother.

And died there. Died in Louisiana. Mm-hmm. And were you young? Yeah. I was like 16. My name was real old though. You know, my dad was 70 when I was born.

He was an old man. Wow. So he was like a senior citizen. My dad's going to be doing that 34-year-old wife. He just married a 34-year-old Vietnamese woman. He met online. He's 70. Oh.

My Vietnam. She's probably going to want children. I'm sure I already have countless siblings in third world countries. It'll come out later. Was your dad a sex tourist? Hell is. Whoa. That makes me scared, man.

I know. But anyways, back to you. Yeah. Yeah. So wait. That makes me scared sex tourism. Yeah. Flying somewhere to fuck something.

Of course. Yeah. You could get rabies in Australia. No, definitely. You said that. But anyway, so your father was old and your mother how old was she compared to him? She was 32. So my mother was young.

Yeah, so she was young. My mother was some regular age. Yeah. But he was, did it feel like at the, I mean, when he was, when you were a kid, did he seem like, like my mother's Peruvian. So like, I feel like I have a foreign mom, right? Right. Your dad's Nicaraguan, but he came in at 12.

So he seemed like an American guy or. No, he seemed like he always talked in Spanish, but nobody knew Spanish really by us. So he would, you know, people thought I think he was insane or something. They thought he was an N word. Yeah. A lot of times you're like, oh, look at this guy with the fucking, you know, with the fucking fan, you know, with the fucking fancy lisp. The lisp, right?

They're like, man, we can't understand anything. Did he have people thought he'd been electrocuted, you know, where in Louisiana did you grow up? Maybe it's outside of New Orleans about maybe like 50 miles. So just pretty kind of rural area. It wasn't like redneck or something. I mean, it was like a little bit country, but just kind of rural. Yeah.

So I feel bad that I'm just looking at Tom mostly not looking at you. Well, I mean, is that okay? It's fine. I know that's your husband. I don't want to be looking at your wife. Where you look. I mean, that's just look where you look. Yeah.

Okay. He's very handsome. I'll look over to you sometime. You say it's more than I thought he was going to be. Isn't he stunning? I mean, that's a bit. Look at those beautiful blue eyes. Okay.

Yeah. I don't have that Delia hair, but I'm all right. That's true. Delia is great hair. Great hair. Yeah. What about your hair? Let's talk about your hair.

Yeah. How long? I cut, I started cutting myself again. I don't trust the guy who's doing it. I love this about you. Yeah. So tell me, because I think when I met you, you definitely, you didn't have this hair, right?

No, I had shorter hair. What prompted this? Because it feels like a very much almost like, like a statement of like, I don't want to say aggressive, but it's like, it seems like it seems singular, original. And also like, you're not going to, like it says something like you walk in the room. So he goes, this fucking guy is going to do whatever he wants. Yeah. That's kind of what it says to me.

Does it feel like that or no? Yeah. You know, I saw some pictures of myself and I never had long hair in any of them. And I was like, man, I'm going to be, you know, probably dead at some point. So I want to see what I look like with long hair. And so I was like, I'll grow long hair out of my own head. And so next thing you know, I started growing it out and it's easier than you think, you know?

Yeah. It is easier. Yeah. I see these guys, you think they're farmers or something. It's just somebody growing their own hair. Yeah. But it's a bold cut. You know that.

Well, I just started, dude, I started to feel a lot more comfortable once I had longer hair. Really? I'd never felt that way before. I'd never felt like, it just gave me like a different kind of like. What was the first week like? Like a swagger. Yeah. Yeah.

It gave me like a swagger. Well, Samson and Delilah, the power is in the hair. Is that what they say? Absolutely. In the Bible. Yeah. Now, but the, I mean, yes, you have the length on the back, but then the decision to go short on the sides.

I mean, that is a very. That's bold. First of all, it's a timeless look. Let's not forget, didn't the Aztecs start this look? Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. No, it's fucking badass, dude. Thank you.

And now it's growing and now you're starting to see them in a lot of places. Was it hard for the first week? Yeah. Well, you're a trendsetter now. Well, I don't know. You're an influencer. You're an influencer. Yes, you are.

Yes, you are. Yeah. I don't think that. Why not? Now, I will hope not. Will you rename the cut because traditionally it's known as a mullet, but you're kind of bringing it into the new millennium here. Like a mill.

Like a yeah. A millet. A millet. A millenian. A millenian. I mean, I feel like you're kind of putting your own style on it. Well, I felt like, you know, like people were, I was like in Hollywood, they started like making, you know, after like around the election, they started making fun of everybody where

I was from. It felt like, you know, even you. Me? And so we're with Bill DeWall around Louisiana. Very specific. You should see my new hour. I fucking doubled down on that. Oh, really?

Yeah. Of course. So, but no, I think in like in the news and stuff, they just, it was people that had never even been there. So it is connected, though, in that it makes you feel almost tied to home more. Like it's right. Like a little bit. A little like ownership of like, fuck you if I'm from somewhere else.

Right. Fuck you if I'm from somewhere else. And also they would say like, oh, well people, you know, they, women aren't allowed to have, you know, feelings or views like where you're from and stuff like that. And I'm like, we didn't wear, people were, in my neighborhood, were wearing women's haircuts. Right. Like a child.

Like how much more support can you get than wearing a shitty woman's haircut, you know? Wait. Or women's shitty hair cut, not a shitty woman's hair cut. Correct. Right. I'm sorry about that. It's fine. It's okay.

But yeah, it's like, you know, we used to have this lady in the washer car at night and say she was sexy all the time and, and she had this haircut, you know, and it would be in the dark and you would just hear her over there. She would have this haircut, is that what you're saying? The mullet. I'm sexy. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, dude, I fucking rocked one in third grade. Like we're talking 1984. Yeah. I had a sweet mullet. I want to bring a picture in. It was kind of rad because it was easy to care for. I would feather the sides, dude.

Bam. And then. I want to ask about like. Did you spike the top up? No, I just kind of, I don't remember if I did or not. Yeah. I want to ask about when you first did this cut though. Yeah.

Because now it's like, you don't think about it and you own it and like it's just, it's almost like identity, part of your identity in a way. Yeah. First week though, do you get self-conscious about it? Are you like having any self doubt? You know what I mean? Like of rocking such a bold look. Like now I don't, it doesn't make me think twice.

Right. I've seen you with it so long. Yeah, we're used to it now. But like when you first see it, like have you ever had a beard where you shave and you leave a mustache and you're kind of fucking around? Oh yeah. And then you look in the mirror and you're like, Jesus Christ. Like you see yourself and you're like this fucking crazy.

It's like when you see your stepdad without a beard for the first time. Yeah. Who is that? That feels weird. Yeah. So did that happen to you when you first did the cut? Well, it comes in slowly off the back of the neck and there's times where you can kind of get it cut in as like, I mean most of the world looks at this as a soccer haircut.

Yeah. That's true. So you go a lot of places and it's soccer. That's true. It's soccer. You're just a big soccer fan. Right. It's only like here where it's like, you know, where soccer hasn't really taken as much

of American, you know. Do you like soccer? I like it more and more because it's more of a world game, you know, but, but, uh, but yeah, at first it was just kind of creeping down the neck and it was like, oh, what's going on? And then people would kind of say stuff. And then I was like, I don't know, I just feel more comfortable, you know, and I have a big nose, you know, and I have kind of big ears and Brennan told me I have a big lip,

you know. And so, you know, well, he said a lip, you know, you're talking about who said that though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like a legit kind of person to critique the way people's ears look. No. Have you seen his ears?

Yes. He's got cauliflower ears. His ears look like they have lips in him. Yeah. Little deform. He has two lips in each ear. He's got a weird mouth. Yeah.

So take that, Brennan, because he did say that. And then also I'll say this, that he, um, and he said some other stuff, but not nice stuff hit or miss, I think. But I'll say this though, that, uh, once it started to grow out and stuff, I just started to like it. And I, honestly, I never felt more comfortable. And it was also at a time where it was like, you know, it was a lot of like, uh, feminism and women's power.

And you know, there was a lot of like, you know, that kind of like change was coming about more into like art and, and topical conversation and stuff, which I think is good. You know, it's, but also I think a lot of men, sometimes when that happens, men feel like, oh, we're wrong or something's wrong. Like half my buddies were like, dude, I think I might be a rapist, you know, hit me with these texts and stuff. Oh, cause of like, just people were scared. Yeah.

Just like a lot of fear. So I think this gave me like a thing where it's like, okay, well, this is something that I can still kind of feel like a man, but I'm not like raping anyone. Right. You know, like safe, like this is a safe little space where I can just do, you know, this little hectic or on the back of my head and I can just grow something back here for myself. It was like, you know, it's like, I start your masculinity. Yeah.

You think like you've, yeah. So you don't. Quietly. Yeah. No one hears your hair growing. Right. Right. Yeah.

I like that you pointed out that you can just grow out your hair to get it long. Yeah. Yeah. You forget that sometimes. Yeah. Do I buy extensions? Do I go to the store and buy longer hair? Yeah.

Cause sometimes I feel like, oh, I should grow. I should have longer hair. Did you ever have extensions? No. And I think about it a lot. I'm like, I'd like the idea, but I don't want to go through the effort. I feel like a lot of dark haired girls do that. What do you mean?

Yeah. They buy hair? Yeah. Like strippers. Persians. Yeah. Yeah. Armenians.

Yes. Well, you'll see like. Yeah. And I'll, yeah. You know, I come in from the guy's point of view where you're like, damn, she's got a lot of hair. And then you need like a woman to be like, it's not her. It's all like clipping.

I have no idea. I'm looking at him like, wow, look at that. She's a fucking horse. Yeah. Dude, you guys are crazy, man. It's crazy. I don't like it. It's too much work.

I can't do it. I don't give a shit enough. So wait, let's talk about, I mean, I don't know. Do you guys sleep in the same bed or not? What? What? Is this real? Yeah.

Why would you ask that? Is this real? Yeah. What? We've been married for a million years. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. That's why I would ask, probably. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. That's crazy, man.

Wait, you don't plan on that? I don't know. Are you seeing somebody now? Are you serious? No, not serious. Yeah. Do you want to get married one day? I don't know.

But I don't know if I could sleep in the same bed. I don't know if I could sleep in the same house, but I do envision. Wait a minute. Why? I envision houses that have like a sidewalk that's really close. Well, the French do that, and Frida Kahlo did that with her dude. Yeah. Because, well, he was a cheating.

The artist, Tom. Yeah, yeah. She was a cheating. He was a cheating machine. And so, yeah. I mean, that's very French. You don't know if you could sleep in the seat? Yeah.

What's that about? I don't know. It makes me so scared. I don't know. I think just probably the commitment of it literally makes my crotch almost roll up into my fucking body. Really? Yeah.

It really just, yeah. That kind of stuff makes me nervous, man. What are you afraid of? What's your biggest fear with commitment? I don't know. It's almost like something that's baked into me somewhere. It's not even something that I can really access, you know? I don't want to like relying on other people.

I like to do things myself, you know? But that commitment thing. Was your dad a cheater? Was he a cheater? I don't know. He used to sleep in his car sometimes, but I don't think he was like with other women. I think it was just him in there, you know? Because he would drink, too.

Do you, when you talk about, you know, separate, if you were married, you're like, I don't know if I could sleep in the same bed in the same house. On a, let's say you're dating. Do you not even like sleeping in the same bed on a random night with whoever you're dating? Like does that part bother you, too? No, I think sometimes if it's like not too sexual, if it's not like a real sexual environment, I'm more okay with it.

But if, yeah, if I'm really doing sex with somebody, I don't really want to be sleeping with them. Okay. Wait, I'm talking, that feels to me like one night's standish, but what about like if it's somebody you're seeing right here? Yeah, like a lady friend. Yeah, like a lady friend I could sleep in. I could share a bed with.

But not like on a one night stand, of course. Yeah. No. And that doesn't bother you? Not even like a 30 night stand. I couldn't even. Really? Yeah.

It would have to be separate rooms, separate. You've been in therapy? Oh, yeah. I've been in there and it's good. I like it in there. Also at some points, I'm like, do I want to keep trying to figure this out or just want to live my life? Right.

Does that make any sense? Yeah. Yeah. It's like sometimes you're like, maybe this is just who I am, you know? Yeah. Maybe I'm that bear that scratches his back on the tree. You seen that bear on? Yes.

The country bearer necessities? Yeah. What is it? The bear necessities guy? I know. But then, then again, you can do 10 years in therapy and you'll wake up one morning and listen to Taylor Swift and it'll change your fucking life. Yeah.

I mean, like I just started listening to Taylor Swift. I'm 43. Yeah. And I'm like, I think I like it. And for years, I was like, nope, I'm a hardcore, angry, punk or chick. Yeah. It's not who I am. And then you change who you are.

I feel like I'm a totally different human being in my 40s. I'm getting a Ferrari. Yeah. He's been looking at Ferraris. Well, we got McDonald's back as a sponsor. So. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Dude, we have some shit toothbrush that's trying to sponsor us. Jesus. This is so much better than my podcast. Well, but I wouldn't say that you're hugely successful. You guys are painting a mural. You're killing it in the stand up. You're selling all kinds of tickets.

Yeah, man. We talking about. Yeah. No, we're doing great, but it's still just I'd rather be on here. I'm like, hey, I want to hear about your day though. Oh, yeah. What's going on? You came in, you were kind of bummed.

Oh, yeah, I feel bad. I was mad at that guy at the front. I was mad at him. He forgives you. Nadav? Yeah. I forgive you. Thank you, brother.

I appreciate that, man. Yeah, sorry. You even hung up on me. I did. Yeah. You hung up on me. I don't even remember that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like on the second call. You got to know where I am and you hung up the phone. Yeah, I could see myself doing that. What's going on? I was just like going to fit a rage in the parking lot.

I just. Well, what happened was, I don't know what happened, man. I guess. I was kind of waiting for my apology. Okay. Yeah. I'm sorry. Also that I hung up on you.

It's okay. I am sorry though. Um, what happened was, I'll tell you this. So I got here and I was just kind of frustrated. I had this bag of stuff, you know, and it's in like a garbage bag, right? I saw that. Yeah. So, you know, and so it's just like different things in there.

And then I got, I was in the parking lot. I didn't know where to go. The numbers are very. Yeah. It's a confusing number system. It's not, it's not laid out very well. Right. For sure.

The numbers, you know, they go, I mean, numbers know what they're doing. They're organized and we, and this shit, they fucking try to redo it here. Yeah. So I'm out there. Yeah. I'm standing by this post office box. I got my bag of stuff. And then this couple rolls up and they're smoking and they're trying to mail something

in one of these mail slots, you know, and the lady gets out of the car and she's like, who you with? That's what she said. Right. To you? Yeah. And I was like, and I was already kind of fucking pissed, dude. And now I'm like having to like, you know, like rep my set out here with these motherfuckers,

you know, by the mail thing. So shit got a little bit weird and then her husband kind of said something or whatever. He did? Yeah. Bro, right out here. Said something to you? Yeah. And that's why I was like, well, where is anybody?

Does anybody care? You know, I'm out here with a bag of stuff and a garbage bag and you felt abandoned. Yes. I thought a man and this lady's out there, the guy's honking the horn, then to get his whiteback in the car and she had pulled too close to the mail thing to get her door open and she was trying to get out, but also trying to smoke at the same time. Important. Yeah.

And so it just kind of. But before that, you said you rolled here before you came. Did you wake up funky? No, woke up good. You had a good morning. I had a great morning. Yeah. So let's walk through it.

What triggered the bad mood? I don't know, you know, it's a good question. When did it start? Wake up. What do you do? I woke up. I did. What time did you wake up?

Prayer and meditation right when I got up. Okay. Do you? I woke up at 730. Is that a regular habit too? It tries to be. So yeah. Today I did well with it and then I went to the gym.

Okay. That's good. And then. What kind of workout do you do? Just stretching. Really? Yep. And then I left the gym and went home and then yeah, like there's a cleaning lady comes

to my apartment and so she was there and so that's always a little bit like you have to work around her. Yeah. It's annoying a little. And she breaks a lot. She breaks a lot of stuff. Yeah. And it's like, I just have to be understanding.

Yeah, that's hard. So I had to take a, you know, I had to be understanding she broke some glass and she broke something else. So you're like, I'll break your fucking jaw for you. Well, there's a voice in my head. There's an angry Jiminy Cricket beating a fucking crow, a crowbar in his hand that wants to say that. Yeah.

Yeah. She's broke something else. She's broke some other stuff. She broke the microwave. She's broken the coffee thing. She's broken. Jesus Christ. Oh, she's broken a lot of stuff.

Well, she has three children and I know she tries hard and it's like, you know, I just try to be understanding. So, so anyway, that happened. Oh, and then I was on the way here. Oh, I'll put up a tweet like they got a new lady that's working at the White House, right? Who's like the press secretary. Is there a new one right now? So they got rid of the or the Sanders Sanders is leaving out.

No, I love Sarah Huckabee Sanders. I love her too. Right. Fantastic. I thought she was like resilient. Like she's great. Anybody that has to be a liaison between the press and the president has done a great job. So I put up a tweet just saying like, you know, thanks for your service and welcome to

the new woman, right? Just because like, I don't think of it as a political thing, but these women have been through hell. Like people made fun of that lady so much that it was like, I would never make fun of a woman that much. A lot of it was real mean, I thought. You know, I don't care who they are. I don't care what political party they work for, but so anyway, people gave me some backlash

about that. Well, it was, I mean, there's like, it was kind of crazy. The administration, the way they deal with the press is insane and totally unfounded. Right. So like, you know, he just, he doesn't hold regular press conferences, then they stop doing daily briefings. And then he just freelance a little. Yeah.

It's a little free. I mean, like blatantly lies, but I don't mean like in the political sense, like lies. And then she just is his mouthpiece. So she's associated with, you know, somebody who just, and then he only, you know, he'll only do interviews with like select few people. It's a very bizarre way to deal with the press. Yes. I admit he's got a, yeah, he's got a very bizarre way.

I mean, it's all, everything's bizarre now. Yeah. It's all mean. But what was the reaction to your tweet? Did that upset you? Did that upset people? The reactions that people were giving you? What did they say to you?

I didn't even go look through all the reactions. I just saw one and somebody said something and it didn't really upset me. It just made me like, it's like if you, people who are like, oh, I support women, but they only support some women. It's like women in certain instances, they don't like, I just think about here's two women who probably have to go to work every day who have like a, it's a pretty high esteemed job. And no matter who their administration is, these women are probably grateful to have

the opportunity you would think just because they probably worked most of their life, maybe to get this position. Right. Sometimes it's just like, people can be so mean to like, some people, but it's okay not, you know, it's just like, and I don't really draw those lines. For me, it's like, you know, here's a woman who probably has to be resilient constantly. People make fun of the way that she looks, and, but then it's wrong to make fun of the way that, that somebody else looks, you know, it's like, I don't know.

Some of that stuff kind of makes me mad. There's a lot of like hypocrisy to that. Wait, wait, you're saying that, you're saying that it's not okay to make fun of women's looks, but it's okay to make fun of men's looks. And that's, that's what bothers you, right? The double standard of that? No, I think it's, it's more fun to make fun of men's looks for sure. Yeah, for sure.

That's definitely true. Yeah, bro. It's so much more fun. And also like, even when you're, dude, even like at times that I have made fun of women, I don't know if you feel it's like when you make fun of a women's look, there's almost like a, a self like inflicted gauge that goes off in front of you that like pulls back because it, it feels like you're attacking some, you know, they're, they're physically smaller.

There's, it's just like, it's bullying almost some type of a bullying with guys, you know, because you're punching up. Okay. So when you make fun of a man for his looks, you're punching up because historically men haven't been judged on their looks. Women get judged on their looks, all it's your currency, right? Just like for men, your currency is success and money. For us, it's our looks.

Yeah, yeah. That's why, right? Yeah, historically, historically, historically. So now we're trying to change. That's not here. Yeah, it's changing. I think it'll, it'll take a little more time for some of that to, or to meld a little bit better.

Yeah. Um, but yeah, something about that, like, you know, like it just, I didn't like that. Like it seemed like everybody, uh, like a lot of like news, everything, that lady was fair game for some reason. And you know, she was not the most beautiful lady, Sarah Sanders, but I felt like she, you know, to make fun of that, but it's wrong to make fun of somebody else on line. You know who's beautiful? Is that her father?

Who is it? Mike Huckabee? Yeah. I don't know what's about him. Let's bring him up. Let's take a look at, oh, he has a TV show, doesn't he? He does have a TV show and he also shreds on the guitar. He does.

He shreds. That's fucking crazy to think, but he does. This guy is the former governor of Arkansas. He's not as hot as you said he'd be. Now there's the daughter. See, there's the daughter. Anyway, she just reminded me of just like, I don't know. She's smiling there.

I've never seen her smile. Yeah, well, yeah, she goes in. Can you imagine? I know, it's horrible. It's a horrible gig. So to me, she was like a resilient woman. She reminded me of my mom. My mom, you know, she just, my mom was very resilient.

And this lady reminded me of her of that, but it's like, you can't say something like that without people then thinking that you are. But the problem is that nobody is like, when you say that, see like, even the way you explain it now, when you relate it to your mom, then I go like, oh, you're empathizing with this person on a different level. Yeah. You know, most people look at the press secretary. They don't care.

I'm talking about any press secretary. They don't think it was human beings. Well, a little spicy, man. I put that little guy on the meat rack, you know, put that dude back on the Barbie, but they really grilled him hard too. But, um, but yeah, for the woman, some of the stuff, I don't know, there was people that, some of the jokes for some reason, that just resonated with me different.

You're right. And you know what? That's, you know, it's going to put you in a good mood. What? Um, this explosion video. And the way, let's see one. So it was just a series of weird events. Now, Theo, do you laugh at violence?

No, I do not. Interesting. Maybe you're a normal human being like I am. This is not why your husband does. Oh, well, we'll cue those up. Jesus. He's a psychopath. How many seven year olds are trapped inside of that man right there?

Oh my God. You're like a slave ship for young seven year olds. This right here, you know, we get, we have the, the, the great benefit of having so many people send in clips and videos. And this is somebody's in their car and there's an explosion like at a plant. And this is just the clip of, of them noticing it, I guess. Bro, what the fuck? I can feel the fucking heat.

Bro, I can feel that. What the fuck is going on? Oh my God. My nigga. What the fuck? Just. Well, it's good to know that everybody can use the word again. That's one thing that's good to know.

Now, to be fair, if you're listening, that is a massive ball of fire. We're not talking about that's some fucking 200 feet up in the air. It looks like a damn fucking hydrogen bomb went off. Oh, that's that real shit right there. That's real shit. Get ready. Your first wife right there. Look at that shit, man.

That's crazy. Wow. It's crazy. Yeah. Mom, I wonder how close you have to get to light a cigarette on it. You think? Probably not that close right there, dude. Yeah, in the car window, I feel like that's, but I know we

make fun of those guys for how they sound. But that's how I sound when I see extraordinary shit. I'm like, damn, fuck. Yeah. I don't say the N word, but I do. But I sound as dumb as them. Well, you're like, dude, these are also children. Also, these guys are probably 16.

Yeah, that's my life. But yeah, when you drive into it, I drive into it and get that class action check. That's my shit. Dude, we used to be in the class. I grew up in that class action bill. Did you ever, were you ever a part of a class action? Oh, yeah. I've been really well, there was that one against Elijah Slussinger.

Did you guys get that one in the mail? I even got that one. What? There was someone worth her and ticketmaster or something that happened. Really? Yeah. Oh my gosh. No, there's a class action suit.

Like there is. And I could be misphrasing or something, but yeah, it's not. It's public knowledge. I mean, I got what in the mail, you know, you get those random ones, like the hair dryers are killing people. I'll sign up for that. You know, I don't sign up for any of that. Susan at the end of it.

I'll put some shit like that. This is wild. No, this is tickets to Eliza's shows. Well, let's not call attention to a class action suit. Like he said, it wouldn't be scroll down one more comedian suit. There you go. No, that was a while ago. She was doing a women only show when people felt it could have been Kurt

Slussinger. Maybe then that's a different person. Yeah, it could have been Kurt Slussing Eliza. Oh, yeah, there's faulty ironing boards. Yeah. This is a Yiddish fellow with some fucking shady ironing boards. Not Eliza Slussinger. Oh, my God.

Well, whatever, boy, I got that money. So you got that money. Yeah. Oh, so I got about, I think, $30 out of that. So you signed up. Call him. Yeah. I like to just be involved in the community.

Yeah, I like that. I like that. You know, who's this guy in the community? What is this? I don't know what this one is. I can't believe I've never been here before. Yeah. I've seen your mother has that.

More than that. So who with me? Well, my mother ain't never had no mother. How are you crazy? Well, what is wrong with you, man? Are you crazy? You're going to tell me I ain't never fucked your mother. You never had this moment.

You got to be out your goddamn mom. That's that's some shit to say. They never fucked your mother about their mom, dude. And first of all, both these guys sound like they might be black guys. Maybe. Okay. And I would never, even if I was a black guy, I would never say to another black guy. Yeah.

Yeah. I fucked your mom. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that to anybody. I don't know if I would say like, I would say that is such a, um, like you can't, you have no defense for whatever happens next if you go to anybody, to any guy. If you're like, you know, I fucked your mom, right? Like, I don't care if it could be a fucking four foot Asian guy.

And, and like, if he comes back with a fucking 12 gauge, you earned it, man. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's no defense. If your mom wants to fuck, that's different. I mean, she can do her own stuff. That's like LeBron's mom, though. People always say that everybody used to date his mom.

Well, yeah. They used to say that, uh, and that dude went crazy. You know, he went real crazy. What was that? Was that guy? What was his name? Uh, uh, Dantrelle Willis. Some, there was a D.

You got the D right for sure. And he, um, he ended up, man, he ended up like skit. So like, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was, it's really terrible. You know his name? Does Josh know his name? In yen. And I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm like, Dantrelle West, Dantrelle West, which is also now Delante West.

That's right. That's right. All, yeah. Now, when your father passed away, you were 16 and did your mom date? Like, did you have to watch that whole madness? Not really. She dated this guy that used to take us over to the holiday in a lot of times. Um, what else?

Um, did you like him? He was okay, man. He had a cop car, which was pretty cool. That's pretty dope. He had like a used cop car. Dude, you can buy those at auction. That's what he got. Yeah.

My cousin Julie had one, remember? And they'd have the lights on there too. Yes. Oh, he would pull people over with the lights and then we'd all be like, I'll wear this fucking with cheese now. So that was pretty fun. I sat in one of the, um, the movie ones they use. Yeah.

So they are exact. They're LAPD, everything, all the lights, all the signs, everything, everything. And like the only thing is like, like, I guess the plate would be different. Oh, wow. Um, and so they were, and we were on this set like, uh, it was for Steve Burns movie. And so he goes, um, it wasn't Steve. It was like one of the stunt people was like, dude, cause I was, I was in it and I'm supposed to pull up to this thing, but that's further on to this location is

like more inland, but I was, I picked up the view. I got into the vehicle by the main street, like by, you know, what was it? Well, I got into this Ford Explorer cop car. Oh, they're nice. And so, and I, and I went like, and he was like, just jumped on. He was like, if you happen to turn that shit on and you're on a real street and it affects anybody in any way, and they find out that a, a not police officer did that, they're like, this whole thing is done.

Yeah. Like the production shut down. They're going to get sued. You're going to get, I mean, they'd be like, I mean, I get it. Right. But you, what's the future of cops? So it's like, a cop's are just going to quit. They're like, well, no, I'm not being a cop anymore.

You can't even arrest anybody. You can't shoot anybody. You can't even tickle somebody. I know what a horrible job it has to be thought. We were saying that the other day. Like I would never be a cop. Dude, you just deal with the scumbags of the earth. Yeah.

Can't do fucking shit to him now. No, I know. Remember when they used to tase people in LA? Yeah. Remember that shit? I guess the fun would have to be tasing, cracking skulls, breaking legs, but can you tase anymore? They don't have tazers.

You can tickle that really hard. That's the only thing you can do. Which should be the first thing. It should be the first thing. You take a bad situation and make it great immediately. And if you like cuff, if you cuff ankles and wrists and the, and oh shit. And then you just start tickling.

So fine. Dude, you remember we were talking about your friend that you're talking about your friend that kills somebody. Yeah. What are you talking about? Hold on. Without obviously no details. You don't do it.

Look how sad his face. No, no. Wait a minute. Tell, tell again. What did he say about it? Well, so you shoot it. You don't know this. Yeah.

I have a friend who, um, killed someone and he said that it was the most relaxing thing he's ever done. What? And I'll say this, man, I don't really, I'm not, I mean, I'm close with him, but not super close, but he's not the kind of guy that would lie about something like that. Yeah. And by the way, I believe him.

It's got to feel good. Stop, stop. I believe it. Wait Theo, how did he do it? I believe it feels good. Stop. I believe that it feels good to tie somebody up and keep them in a room for a while because you have so much control.

No, can I ask him questions? How did he kill the person that he killed that he killed his wife? I don't want to give a lot of, you know, of his information away because he's not here to do it. I would say he's not been to prison for this. Oh, he's in prison. Right. Probably maybe been to prison.

I'll say he did it. I'll try to give you a clue without saying too much. Okay. In doors, indoors. Yeah. And it was a woman that he killed. Can't say. He doesn't want to say indoors, but I think that's fair.

Let's talk about that good. He confessed it to you. Yeah. And people tell me stuff, man. No, I know. And this is a good friend of yours. Yeah. I would say out of maybe a hundred percent friendship, I would probably say.

68% Wow. And, and this doesn't change your opinion of, of him. Like you, you don't, you, you want to continue the friendship. Well, I feel like this is probably when he needs a friend the most probably. So as much as out of probably it sometimes don't want to be his friend. It's like, that's the easy way out when I get that. When you first heard it, when you first heard it, like maybe from him, uh, do you have like a visceral reaction to hearing that?

Oh yeah. Hurt my feelings. You know, made me sad, not surprised. Also, he seemed like somebody when I was young that was going to kill somebody. Just like a violent temper or just like kind of standoffish and weird. Violence. Violence. He liked violence.

Did he laugh at violence, like violent videos and things like that? Did he watch a lot of murder shows on Netflix? What was his Netflix cue like? We just watched, uh, two wiggas chuckle to a fucking bombing somewhere in the mid, in the midwest. I didn't choose that clip, by the way. Yeah. How many people died in that explosion that you just left?

But I mean, the commentary was great. That's true, man. What about this video? Just react as you normally would. How do you, how do you feel when you see this? He's laughing too. You guys are both psychos. You guys are both animals.

Look at you two. Unreal. Oh my God. Good sense of humor. Check. Guys. Wow. Wow.

This is crazy. But who are you at the end there? Are you the guy who goes to help or are you the guy in the red shirt? I'm this guy. Like what happened? The level of concern and then moments later, I walk away. That's me ready and action. I got to get a fucking sandwich.

He's more annoyed than his day is. He's like, I got to clean this fucking body up. That's clip ever. This is our best clip ever. Oh, can we play a wimp though? Robert Paul because this is an all time. So can we reference by the way, you know, you showed us something that's being painted, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So you asked us when you have a really cool thing happening at your new place, painting this mural of everybody in podcasting and whoever did it was kind enough when they painted us to have the head of somebody. You're like, I don't know who this is. Yeah. This is who they were painted with us.

Oh yeah. We got this man's head. I guess this guy right here. Black guys who love to fuck and fuck good. If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 2395, if you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me. I mean, I need to be fucked a lot. Man, get free food, free rent and everything else.

Man, he has a deal, man. Men from jail, homeless or, um, you're a thug. You want to come move in a friend can move with you too, man, free rent. You get a lease and a key. Fuck me. Piss off. You beat me a home. You know, you see me when I come over today and try it out.

Try it out, man. If in my building, try it out. You want to fuck a piss on me, try it out. She has to play only as fuck, man. I'm looking for hardcore guys and mean it. I want to do it. I want to deliver it. I'm a hot fuck white trash.

Come dump the fuck. Jesus. It's English's second language or first language difference. First language. It is. How does that make you feel when you watch that video? It makes me feel sad, really. Because the guy's probably not doing that great.

You know, we checked on him. No, we know, we actually found him. We're friends with him now. Are you really? Yeah. He gave me a doll and some necklaces and he's actually, he's doing well. Yeah. I got a new iPhone now.

He does. Yeah. Like what else is he doing besides like, you know, obviously somebody took him to Best Buy one day, but what else is going on with him? He's designing some costumes, some dolls. He's as antiques. He has some alcohol. He, you know, has an Instagram following now.

Oh, well, it does a stories live. I cannot believe that he said that is. Yeah. Because we're getting this thing drawn on the walls, this mural, and there's a guy's head on a plate. Yeah. And I didn't know who it was. I'm like, who is that?

And people try to explain it to me and it sounds really, oh, that's not a real thing. Yeah. And then, uh, and that's him. That's him, bro. I got to listen to this podcast. Well, tell me what's that? Cause I don't know something.

What is it? Who, why is it the Rat King? Why is that a thing? Yeah. I feel like I got that wrong at the beginning. It says here. Yeah, you did. Actually, would you call it rodent boss buddy or something?

I said boss, rodent buddy. I like rat buddy. I mean, that's okay. The rat buddy is pretty good. So wait, what, what is it? 02:01:16,880 --> 02:01:17,520 Christina's right. Rat buddy is pretty good.

I like a buddy, right? What is that? What is that from? Everyone's buddy. Yeah. Rat buddy. What's it from? It's from.

Oh, I don't know. Oh, I think Brendan, one time I told him that he looked like he got stung by a bunch of bees and he told me, I look like a, he, I got like my hair looks like a rat. And so then it just came from like a jab, like a friendly jab. It just became like a little bit of like an alter ego. And then, you know, I won the TFATK belt two years in a row. From, what is that from?

What's that? It's like people vote on it. It's like fan voting or something. TFA fighter in the kid. The fighter in the kid. Yeah, yeah, sorry. So they're a podcast. I mean, I, like I didn't, you know, I won it, but it's like people

voting on it. So like best guest or something. Yeah. Best guest. And I beat Chris Delia both times, which was tough. And the first time, like I, I came out of just, you know, he had like, he was already like a real, you know, a real wizard, you know? And so yeah, it felt pretty good.

It was nice. And you got another time. You got it second year in a row. Yeah. And then Rappaport kind of made fun of me one time. So I had to drop him in his place one time and, and put on the whole Rat King regalia. And then a Rat King is just like, it's like bottom feeders.

They, they like a Rat King is like a group of rats that like, that tie their tails together so that they can better take care of themselves. So it's like kind of like, you know, just bottom of the barrel, man. So, well, that's kind of a neat. Other horrible. Yeah. It's kind of where I'm at. You know, it's just kind of a resonate with those people a little bit though.

That's like, cause I'm all about celebrating. Like I love people that have hard knock stories. Like we love championing, um, the underdog. So that's kind of fucking dope. And then what's gang gang gang gang? Cause I see that everywhere. I say, Oh, I was at the airport and some guy right behind me was wearing gang, gang.

And I was like, Oh, I know that's theos. Yeah. A lot of white people say it when they, um, are a visit and black people in prison a lot of times, or vice versa. What? It's like a call. It's like a, you know, people say it in prison. Yeah.

There's like a white girl saying gang, gang to a bunch of prisoners. I've heard a lot of rap songs and shit too. What does it mean? It just means like gang, gang. Yes, they say that's silly. Oh, that's fine. Teammates, buddies, buddies, buddies, like, oh, like rat buddies. Yeah.

Like rat buddies, gang, gang, man. Don't forget, I wrote this down that earlier you said numbers know what they're doing. I just wanted to give you that. I believe that. Yeah. I believe it too. No, but it's just, it's a good quote. I'm glad you told me again.

It's so funny you were talking about, but you were just talking about Christine, what did my buddy say last night about underdogs are about? Uh, he, he, my buddy, Dustin Poirier, he's a fighter. You know, he fights in the UFC stuff and he's fighting like a big scary guy from, I don't fucking know where some guy who's like, they, basically, the guy's been like training like in the dark and stuff. Jesus. Yeah.

Like kind of a scary guy. I don't know. The guy, the guy would probably test positive for like eight blood or something. You know, but he said yesterday he goes. I was thinking we have a special gift being underdogs. We can push ourselves to the limit and find out what we are made of because we don't have the comfort of knowing a safety net will catch us if we fall. So I thought that was interesting.

Yeah. It just how, just cause under, like only people, like you're saying that have like a, that come from somewhere. Like if you don't come from anywhere, then you never even get that opportunity in life, you know, to like not have that thing behind you. That's like safe, you know, um, well, especially being a comedian. I don't think you can get in to stand up thinking that you have a safety net. You got to go.

You don't. Oh, wow, I don't know. Oh, you get no safety net. There were definitely some moments like, fuck it. What am I going to be now? Like do like art? I'm saying, yeah, that's what I mean. Like, especially now, what could we do after this?

Like, we're fucked. But I mean, on your way, your digital footprints crazy on your way up, like even on your way, when you're, when you're really grinding, I mean, you don't, you don't have a safety net, right? I mean, if you're like, if you're fucking 30 and you're like, I haven't done shit for a decade in the real world, like in separate sling jokes and you're getting 1200 bucks, you know, for the, for fucking 10 shows. And you're like, I mean, you're, you're definitely, there's not really a safety

net unless, unless you're somebody who like somebody's supporting to do that. But most of the time, I guess I always felt like I had a little, like maybe I was going to do, you know, I don't know, it's funny. I guess maybe in part of my head, I always felt like maybe I would be a chef or do, you know, I don't know, trucking or something. I don't even know. I can totally see you being a truck driver. Are they going to say chef?

Chef, a traveling chef. Yeah, I could be traveling chef. I feel like I see you pull up, get the knives out. Yeah. I could see with knives. I would believe right now if you were like, I have a collection of crazy knives. I'd be like, totally get that.

What's wrong with being a driver? Nothing. Oh, driving is good. I love, yeah. We have a lot of drivers that listen. A lot of drivers listen to podcasts, but then your, your left side of your face gets tanner than you're right. That's, I think what happens.

You have to put some block on just this. That's true. I know I'm seeing pictures of it. Do you know who this guy is, by the way? Uh-oh. So this guy's been doing this series of videos. Is this Banksy? I would.

Do you remember his name? Is he? Was he super human? Super. With two hands. With two hands. Oh, gang, bro. And yeah, he's really, he's super down.

He makes videos just like this for people listening. He's standing on his back porch and there's always a setup of something a few steps beneath him. In this case, we see folding chairs. Go ahead and play this. Thumbtacks. He's French. Thumbtacks.

He's going to take his shirt off every video. This guy should be on TikTok. Yeah. Oh, fucking hell. Yeah. Dude, he needs to go on TikTok with this act. That's gotta hurt. That's gotta hurt.

No, I don't like it. It builds. It builds. What's he jumping onto this time? Bricks. Just bricks. Okay. Oh my gosh.

What's this one? I don't like it. This is thumbtacks and cut up soda cans. Oh, you can scroll to just him jumping. Yeah. He can't jump that high. Oh, those are. Yeah, that's good.

Hold on. I hope you like it. Look at his jump. Look at the actual jump. Fuck this shit. Oh, that's that one sucked for sure. That was effective. Yeah.

He's he's really and what he's like an outdoorsman. I think that that's a generous way of describing him. But yeah, he just puts those up and he's got him jumping. Thanks for sharing. That was really good. Happier. You guys are crazy. This is this is what you guys do.

That was terrible. Where do you get the videos from? They just send them in. They just send them in hundreds, hundreds of videos. Yeah. Fuck, man. Everybody's just crying on my podcast. Really?

This is insane. Really? All right. Well, it was thanks for coming by, man. Yeah, man. This is great. I appreciate it. But we got a couple more clips to show.

Oh, OK. Oh, what do we have? What do we got? I mean, we're we're having them on here to kind of talk about this theo gate stuff. Oh, right. I totally forgot about that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Theo gate. Yeah. Invitational only. Not invitation only. Well, and you're here. And I'm here. Yeah, you're here.

So for people for people that don't know. Yeah, people that don't know. A few months ago, it started with I feel like one of the origins of it was Shab coming on the podcast. Look at that jacket. Look at his face. Oh, it started before Shab. It did.

Did it? No, but like he was the the origin of like it ramping up. Oh, yeah. Like like he was the one like when he came on is when I called you like shortly thereafter. Right. I didn't realize how ridiculous that jacket was until now with the paint.

It looks like he was painting his deck and then he came in. Yeah. And silly. Yeah, such a weird jacket. He has such a weird looking face. No, he's handsome. You don't think he's handsome. I mean, oh, he's handsome.

He's handsome, but he's also like ambiguously ethnically. I don't know what's going on. It's upsetting that you can't identify it. Yeah. Yeah. He's like kind of like a lad meets Rocky. Aladdin meets Rocky on a present. But anyway, sorry.

Go ahead. So the so you're saying that the Theo Gate controversy started around the flip. I feel like this is the origin of it. And was it a big deal when he came on? Yeah. No. No, I'm saying this is what this was the so what happened

was he came on and he goes Theo thinks you don't like him. Right. And then we were like, that's silly. That was true. But why does that? I don't know. I just think, you know, I felt, I don't know. I just felt like I think there was some point where I felt

like you guys didn't like me, you know. But I've always had like, I've always had. I mean, we didn't know each other like really well. Right. I always had like good friendly interactions with you. I mean, I can remember. I'm pretty good at remembering conversations. I can remember like specific conversations even dating back

like a dozen years with you. Jesus Christ. Really? Maybe I thought you were somebody else then. I mean, I mean, I remember talking to you till like about maybe a year ago. No, you talked to me outside the Melrose improv about 12 years ago, and you asked me a question about writing.

And I talked to you outside of there about writing stand up. Like you were already a stand up. So was I, but we talked about it. And then I definitely didn't see you for a long time. Yeah. Then I saw you shortly after your special came out and I talked to you upstairs in the belly room. You asked me like what to expect with like a special coming

out. Oh, I remember that. And we had like a normal nice conversation like where I was, you know, we just talked about it. Yeah. And then I mean, I wouldn't see you again for, you know how this like year. Yeah.

You don't see people for even like at the people think at the comedy store, you there's people. You can go to the comedy store for six months and not see somebody, you know, because of just different night. Maybe in the same lineup and not see people. Yeah, it's true. But then I saw you. Then I saw you again backstage at the main room.

And I told you, I was like, I had asked somebody like whose car is that? I love cars. And it told me it was your car. I was like, that's a nice car you got. And like we talked about it. Oh, it must not have been mine, man. It was a nice four series.

It was. Oh, yeah. I had that four series for a while. I hated that. But thank you for a series. What's that BMW? You got rid of it? Yeah, it just hurt my back.

I couldn't do it. What'd you get? Uber and now. You just Uber? Yeah. So but my point is, wow, you have a good memory. See, what's for me is my memory doesn't really tabulate things like that.

It won't tabulate sometimes history. So then I'll get in these spaces where it's like, oh, I haven't seen. I've barely ever even talked to Tom. Or I haven't seen somebody in a long time. So then my brain will start to tell me sometimes, oh, those people don't like you. Oh, that's so nice.

But the reason it affected me when he said it, because I was like, that's a silly thing to say. Like when Brendan said that, I was like, and I called you. I called you thereafter. And I was like, we talked about some business stuff. And then I was like, I'd love to have you on the podcast. And we have to draw it out. We got to make it a little.

Well, yeah, well, Brendan's defense. And I'm sorry, Christina. But in Brendan's defense, but he goes, I'm going on Tom and Christina's podcast, or Christina and Tom's. And he did say your name first. Yes, always, yeah. And I said, oh, I don't think they like me.

Because also, I guess, yeah, you guys had never invited me. I don't know. But also, when I think about it, I'd never invited you on my podcast. Right. And also, can I make another point? When we talked that first time, this to me is the only thing that I thought was kind of silly about the whole thing is,

hold on. The only thing I thought was silly about the whole thing was somebody's thinking that it's like, I think I told you this, that it's weird. I always thought without this taking place, you would be on at some point that it naturally happens. I thought it's not weird. I've known comics 15 years who haven't been on the podcast.

You know what I mean? Well, plus we didn't have guests for two or three years. Because we did the show out of our home. And for a long time, we just didn't have guests. But more to that point, it's like Canane, let's say. Oh, we just had him for the first time. 100 shows with him starting out. We taped our half hours together.

We've done lunch, dinner together. And he came on two months ago for the first time. So I mean, to me, it's like, I'm like, that's not. It works out when it works out. It just kind of happens, yeah. And you, I mean, I've known you since the 90s. I mean, we both did road rules a season apart. And I remember coming to Mexico.

That's the first time I met you in the 90s. And I remember because you had a chihuahua, a little dog. Do you remember that little doggy you had? Somebody must have lent me it. Were you serious? And I remember. Because I've never had a small animal like that. I mean, I've had a lot of smaller animals,

but nothing that size. You did have a chihuahua. And I remember I was like, he's not letting me pet the dog because the dog was real skittish. And you're like, don't know, don't pet this dog. Oh, I've never had that. So that wasn't even me. But that wasn't you.

It couldn't have been. I've never had a mid-range animal like that. I've had smaller animals. And I've had larger. But maybe it was just like on the Winnebago. Maybe it was somebody else's dog. And you were holding it? I probably wouldn't even hold an animal like that.

Jesus. Wow. That's. I'd be very scared of dogs. You know what? That's completely it. But I was upset because you wouldn't let me pet the dog. I wanted to hold your chihuahua.

Well, it wasn't me. I wouldn't let you. No, it was. I'm not crazy. And then I am not. I would know if I held a dog. This is another layer of the educate. I cannot believe this.

Well, let's get into it. I mean, I'm not a Christina Denier. I'm just saying that I don't. I know that I never held a chihuahua probably in my entire life. I have threatened owners of them. I don't like a lot of the women that have them sometimes. And are lonely.

I was distinctly upset. Because you wouldn't let me hold the dog. In Theo's defense. I didn't do that. In Theo's defense. Could it have been a woman with a similar haircut? Probably. But no, but my point being, over the years,

we've seen each other. We've seen each other a couple of times. But yeah, I think I just felt like, yeah, I don't know. Maybe I saw Tom a couple of times. Maybe Tom started to get successful. And I thought that I would see him. And it seemed like maybe some of that story was already building in my head.

I mean, some of the stories will build in my head. All of us have that happen. Right. And I don't really. But for me, I don't think of like that. My brain doesn't also say, oh, but hey, remember you talked to Tom here. And you talk to him here.

And you talk to him here. My brain will try to forget. It won't do it on purpose, but it'll do it on accident. So yeah. I also am guilty of this in that I, you know, I feel like loose and comfortable here. I, you know, a lot of times at stand-up shows, I just kind of get like tunnel vision and thoughts.

Right. I'm thinking about like my set. And even though I've been doing this, you know, 17, almost 18 years, I'm not like super loose and like, what's up? You know what I mean? Like I get into my head about my set. Let's get into the footage here.

Cause then we have some things to go through. Yeah, we will. This is ridiculous. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I'm not like, it comes, it might become a, come across at a show. Like I'm not being, you know. You're not social cause you're working.

Yeah. I think a lot of times comics get in their heads and you're nervous or maybe you're thinking about other stuff and you know, it may come across as rude, especially he's not a good personality. Sometimes he does come across rude. I could see the limited personality a little bit, but I felt like, yeah.

Not friendly. Yeah, or just not like, you know, he's kind of, he's the second guy to, you know, he'll meet you at a handshake, but he ain't going to start one. Wow. Jesus Christ. And I don't say that to be mean

and I don't even know if that's true. Okay. But what I will say is, yeah, I think, yeah, some of it I probably let build up in my head a little bit. And I didn't have any ill will. I just thought, oh yeah, for some reason, they don't like me. I definitely, I definitely started our handshake today.

Go ahead and play this clip. That is true. I will say you do. So this is when Brendan asked about Theo and then people called out and edit. Right. Oh, right. So this was part of the drama of Theo.

They're like, oh, you edited out shit that you said. Oh boy. What happened was, this is the clip, right? What happened was he followed that up with a question about ATC. We were on the ATC network. We ended up leaving and it wasn't anything dramatic. Like it sounds like it's dramatic.

It wasn't. That's Al Madrigal, Bill Burr. I love those guys. They're great. We just started producing our own content here. Well, when he asked me about it, I'm like, it feels like I'm a business conversation that I maybe shouldn't air.

That's why we did edit that out. Yeah. Okay. We're gonna edit this stuff out? No. No, we'll leave it. Oh really? It's fine.

It's fine. Yeah. That's another question. Oh, why, you guys look so young there, huh? I know, it's the lighting. You left all things comedy, right? See, so he asked me about that and we cut that out. Okay.

So that's, no, that's part of, so for people listening or who don't know, this fueled like the, you don't want, because they associated that edit out of like we're talking about you. Oh, I see. You understand? I see.

I'm trying to have that. Yeah, because I started hearing about it. I don't even know when I started hearing about Theogate, but I was like, oh, these people, you know, something's wild here. And then the next thing was that, was this, oh. Oh yeah, this is the playful. This is the one we did.

This I sent you. I sent you, I sent you. So now, but at this point we've had conversations. Yeah, we're talking to you at this point. Right, you and I were talking. And I remember even, I remember I donated blood one time because somebody said you weren't doing well. And I remember feeling bad about that.

What? Or feeling like, well, here I am at odds with a man that is not doing well. And you donated blood? Well, I think it was around, this was probably around that time I was donating. I was donating a lot of blood actually. And I remember one time going in there and thinking like,

man, yeah, if I'm living my life like this or all the people are being sick, then what the fuck am I doing? You know? Yeah, that's nice. That is actually really, really remarkable of you. This was a purposeful edit we did where I cannot believe how dumb some people are.

No, this one's different. Is this the? This is just you calling them. Oh, right. Okay. I'm gonna shop and probably do it. Oh, he'd be great. Yeah, but like, it's like you do it with like,

Callan or he's got that other show with the mouse guy. Oh. Dig. That hit me. That did not hit you. That hit me. The mouse guy? The mouse guy.

I thought I had it right. Did you really? No. Of course not. I thought it was really, really funny. It was very sweet. I thought I was like, oh, he has children. He must be feeling better.

You know, that's what I thought. He must be getting better if he's making cool jokes. Okay. And there's this one. I hate Louisiana. It's not because I love you. Yeah, no, it's fine. I'm gonna tell you.

No, you're not. You would be if you were, you'd be, who's Bert Kreischer's friend, the comedian? You gotta be fucking shitting me. Tom Segura. And I couldn't remember your name there. Tom Segura. For real?

Yeah. I couldn't remember your name. And we actually, the funny thing is we have different people's names on the wall, so don't forget them. And yours had fallen off the wall. And that's probably gonna be on a Reddit somewhere because you unconsciously wanted that to happen. Do you have the screen grab of the,

Yeah. Right? Just so that people know. Conspiracy. People are like, oh, he did it on purpose. That's crazy. So here's this. Yeah, yeah.

Cause I did not do that on purpose, dude. That was accident. You don't have it? Okay. Sorry, what are you pulling up? The mouse guy. Whatever, mouse guys. The screen grab.

Yeah. It's okay. No, it's not okay. Well, you're right. It isn't, but it's also okay. Oh my God. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

This is when I, on Garth Brooks thing, we always like have people message, put things in Garth Brooks. Oh, really? That's hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Tons of it. To the point now where there's an article written

about it this week. What? There's an article written about, why do people keep asking Garth where the bodies are buried? Stop it. And they cite our show. Are you being serious?

I swear to you. Yes. Wow. So because all of our fans. The circulation is real, guys. All of our fans. We've created it in reality. Go there.

This is crazy. For you, if you're listening, it was me on Garth's page writing, are you gonna have Theo on the show? All right, yes. Now our crossing shows and genres. So now this one is the H3 edit that we did intentionally.

Oh yeah. So the setup for this, just so it's clear, is like, I think I sent you this, but so I told Ethan and Hila, ask me about like the Theo beef, and then we'll do a deliberate cut. The audience is aware.

We did a deliberate edit. Yeah, yeah. So that you guys could. We're gonna. We have the unedited. This is the unedited. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. So this is the edit as it went up on P2.

This is what we're saying, yeah. Okay. Or Teddy. Teddy is real sweet. Wait, Teddy's cute. Theo's cool. Oh, Theo. Wait.

We named our first dog that Theo. Yeah. Now it's a new foe. We changed it. In light of the Cosby scandal. Wait, hold on. I wanna ask you guys about Theo Vaughn, because there's like a whole beef

with you guys there, isn't it? I love Ethan. Ethan. Oh, no. So that one went up. And then people were like, there it is. Smoking gun. Yeah, and I was like, do you really fucking think

that it would be that egregious of an edit? And there was also, now people were saying that I might have, that Christine and I may have had, you know, relations or something, or we might have father or child or something. Yeah, right. And I never did anything like that, but I wanna let you know that and you.

We didn't hook up. Well, I have to tell you that, because I had heard initially of just Theo, okay? Like Theo is whatever, he's not on the show because you guys don't like him. And then the doc told me later that we had had an affair. And I was like partially, no, we didn't know.

But I was so honored. Part of me was like, wow, like I'm scandalous now. Like I'm a, I've been with the same guy for a million years. It's exciting to think that I had a tryst at some point. Yeah, me too. And I'm not trying to say that.

I shouldn't say anything, I never even, I don't even know y'all's children. I don't even know what they look like. Well, they. Are they good? They're very cute. They look like my sweet lamb husband. So this is the text, right?

Yeah, this is, so this is me texting with Theo. I go, I call you the mouse guy on this thing. And you can just see that, you know, we're laughing and then he says I'm gonna do a call in thing. So we started like texting each other this stuff, right? Right. Then I, oh, he told me, he sent me this one. And he goes, don't, you wrote to me,

it's a screen grab of Shob's post. And you wrote, don't say anything because he posted, he was doing a show. And then you wrote, wow, not invited. Okay, Tom Sugar. Yeah. Yeah. So people would, would then like.

And then I deleted that. Yeah, some things I would say and also delete them. Oh. Yeah. So then, yeah, it was pretty wild, man. And uh. Oh yeah. Then I did this one.

Oh, that's cute. Look at that. And I wrote, is that Theo? Oh, that was good. Aw. Dude, but here's the thing, like, to me, it's like, it's so clearly like comedians making, like it feels like fun.

If you started that to somebody, they'd be like, this is people joking around. Yeah. People took this shit seriously, man. Yes. People took it really seriously. I found Garth Brooks. It's so fucking great.

It's the best thing I've ever seen, man. You got it. I didn't know that was going on. Well, you know, it really is a testament to your fans because they were coming after the comments. Oh, they were out of it. Instagram posts and everything. I was like, woof, we got it.

No, they were just like, what's up with Theo Gate? Tell us the truth. Curious, curious. You guys having an affair, blah, blah, blah. Did you see the troll job I did on what guests you wanted? Yeah. Oh, yeah. At the height of people bugging me about having you on,

I just started a post. I was like, hey, who do you guys want us to have on the show? Yeah. And then I did. This one got him fired up. Yeah, this got people real fired. But your fans love you. Thanks, Indianapolis.

That was a lot of fun to sit in here before we depart for St. Louis. And I was just wondering if there are any guests you would like us to invite on the podcast, please let us know. We're booking out for the next couple of months right now. And we'd just love to hear from you guys, just any suggestions.

But then the follow-up, you got people so much angrier. Hey guys, what's up backstage at the Stifle, the Stifle one here in St. Louis. Thanks for the other response to the question about who you want us to get on the podcast. We heard you loud and clear. We're sending out invites to the most requested guests, Nicole Byer, Norm MacDonald, Jeff Soleneck,

Hannah Laveris. So they're all getting invites. We're gonna help they come on. We're excited about it. I appreciate it. I had people just going like, fuck you. They were so angry. They were so angry.

It was so fun. You were just really mad. I mean, yeah, I tried to help out as much as I could. I would say stuff here and there. I put a video on some guy's phone in Australia. I saw that. You saw that one, yeah. That ended up on Reddit that was pretty.

You seen this? That people got into. Here it is. Yeah. It's crazy, man. So we had a lot of us. What's another comedian who's bailed from over here? Just Tom Sugar, man.

Damn fucking Tom Sugar root, huh? Tom Sugar, too good for the fucking kangaroos, huh? Dang, son. I'll fucking put on a, yeah, what I'll do. I'll just gain about 40 pounds and fucking get my wife to do half my job. And then, you know, it would be easy, man. My first thought when I saw this, I was like,

Theo's a nice guy. Because I started, I was like, to only say we're separated by 40 pounds. He's a sweet guy. That was really my first thought. I was like, if you're going to be a dick, you'd be like, I got to gain fucking 80. That's true.

40's like a reasonable number. Like you can get through 40 pounds. 40's reasonable. In a diet. What do you weigh, by the way? I think I weigh 178 pounds. Yeah, there's a lot more than 40 pounds. Yeah, I think I weigh more than you.

Yeah. Oh, you don't. You look great. I don't know if I can fat. So is this next clip, is this the smoking gun? Oh my God. What's a smoking gun? The smoking, this is the one that everybody thinks

that Theo and I had an affair. What's this? You didn't see this video yet, Tom? What is this? Start off with Christina Pajitsky. Hi. That is a fascinating last name. What is the best pronunciation of your name you've ever heard?

Oh, ever heard? Someone's totally abandoned. Oh, what the fuck is this? It's actually another comedian in like Esther Pajitsky. Okay, no relation, I'm sorry. No, of course not. Wait, are we going to watch the whole fucking interview? This is so boring.

I can't, oh, there it is, there it is. And I don't. You go whatever. I don't even remember that one. On TV and be TV queen? No, I don't know. I mean, I was on Chelsea. And I never looked at her chest or anything, Tom,

if you look at me. You just have to know what medium you're working. Please don't play my boring interview. So is this the first time you've seen that, Tom? What is going on? Look, I don't, I know, I didn't. That's me. Look at that, look at that.

Oh, what's that all about? What is that all about? It's something you do at church even. All right, I'll tell you what happened. Now Theo, you came clean and you said that you felt that we didn't like you. Right. Now this, I remember, how long ago was this?

What do you remember? Even when you were in? This was in West Palm Beach. Right, but how many, I don't know. Probably nine years ago. Okay, so. Seven. Yeah, so anyway, we were last minute put together

to co-headline that weekend. And I thought that you didn't like me. Because I remember like we take turns headlining and I was in the green room and I like, I don't know, maybe you were joking. I'm sure you were, but you were like, I don't like it when women don't act like ladies. Do you remember this conversation?

You're like, back where I'm from, girls don't act like you do on stage. And I was like. Really? I said that. Yeah. And I don't know, maybe we were, you know, a little drinky drink, I don't know.

And so I was like, oh, he doesn't like me. And I think what I was doing there is like a lame attempt at like, well, he doesn't fucking like me. I'm going to annoy him. Because watching that now, that's something, I mean, I knew I was being taped. Obviously I was married to Tom. I've been with him for a million years.

Never too long. You guys were married at that part? At that point? Oh, I think so. We got married in 2008. Anyways, I think that's what I was trying to do. And also because we were on the same. You didn't seem like a married person.

Oh, stop it. We were on the same show together. I think people assume that because you've done road rules that we're all part of a sorority. You do look annoyed. You should all be. Oh, he hates me. Look how much he hates my guy.

Well, that's how I look also. Yeah. But you look extra annoyed. Look at how he hates me. And look at my face. I'm so happy to. Look how annoyed he is. Yeah, he fucking hate me.

This right here, if you don't move this, this looks like a screen grab of what she's describing. It looks like she's like, look how fun it is to annoy this guy. And I was totally into annoying you because I thought like, oh, we fucking hate my act. You know, do you think that was, do you think that that, does that ring true at all?

Do you remember that? No, it doesn't ring. I mean, I don't remember. I can't imagine I would ever say anything like that. That's crazy if I would say something like that. But no, I remember we co-headlined. I remember we, yeah, we took turns head doing, going before after each other on the shows.

And, yeah, I mean, that's all I really remember about it. And if I did say that to you, I'm sorry, you know. Of course. That would probably hurt your feelings for sure. Of course. But again, like I was like, that's weird. Like I think it was, I don't know. Who the fuck knows.

But I just know I was trying to be immature and ridiculous. And that's what happened there. But no, I don't- I don't fucking see this thing. No, but, you know, I've seen you since then over the years and you've been nothing but nice to me and gracious and, you know. Yeah, the same.

I don't know why, maybe I thought, yeah, maybe I felt like you didn't, I don't know. I don't know where some of the, if I ever had any animosity. I thought maybe you didn't like me and then that's why Tom didn't like me. And so there was just, but obviously a lot of that was in my own head.

I think it was. Maybe in all of us, in our own heads. Yeah. Because we have nothing but love. Yeah, same. And I'm sorry if I ever said something that hurt your, you know, made you guys feel, you know, like that I didn't. Oh my gosh.

That I was being rude or something. Or you know, I just, I don't know, man. I mean, sometimes, you know, even my actions aren't even what I want them to be, you know. Of course. I'm glad you came. I really am. Yeah, me too.

I came to finally put an end to all the scandal. Wow. Will you accept his shirt? Oh yeah. I'll take that shirt. All right. Invitational in the fold. That's awesome, man.

To celebrate now to celebrate. Oh, by the way, everybody, as soon as we get back and you got to come on Dr. Drew show. You want to have you on. Sikler wants to have you on the honey do when you have a kid. Great. If you came on those shows. Yeah.

I love those guys. Yeah, it's be a parent. Oh yeah. And that shirt is now available in our store. It's the invitation only shirt. Thank you for coming. It was a lot of fun. Thank you guys.

Yeah, thanks. I'm glad we cleared the error. Yeah, me too. Feels better now, right? Yeah. I get right. It's the rat collector. It's the pest control.

What is the hamster queen? I don't know what it is. You're close on the last one, man. I think, yeah, it's just anything that kind of covers rodentia. Yeah, rodentia. If you need me, I'll be down there if you need me. Are there banana rats in Louisiana?

We don't have those. We have a lot of nutrias. Nutria. That's right. The nutria looks like a banana rat. They're nasty. Yeah, similar. Yeah.

And we also, you know, yeah, anything rodentia. Yeah. Well, go tigers. Gang, bro. Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah. I love that you wore that, too.

Gang, gang. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz, Brennan Shaw. We gotta come back on with Brennan sometimes. Yes, do that. And put him to the grill. Because that guy started all the shit. Yes.

You bring your girlfriend next time. Yeah, I will. And then let's fucking do that. I would love to have the two of you here together. Yeah, dude. And the more letters you took off his name, the less manly he gets to. Brenda, Bren.

Oh, Bren. And Brie. You know that I teased him the first time I was like, oh, here we're here with a Brendan Schwab, the son of Charles Schwab. And then I didn't know that that actually was something that people were calling him. And they showed one of his,

I saw a clip of one of his early fights in the UFC. And like the winner by decision is Brendan Schwab. Like they didn't even say his name correctly on the end. No, it's terrible. But you see him going like, fucking guy came to say my name right. Man. Yeah, it's, I love that guy.

Oh, he's a sweetheart, man. You never stop. He never stops fighting, man. That's for dang sure. He's our neighbor now, you know. Is he really? Yeah. Oh my God.

I know. He's gonna come over soon with the kiddos. Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. With the kiddo. He's got another one on the way, right? Yeah, man. It's fucking by his place.

Lots of fucking, bro. You should get in there. You're, you know. I know. Get a little bit of seed out of my nuts and see what I can do with it, huh? See what you can do, man. See what God wants, brother.

We thank you. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Thanks for coming. See you guys next time. Next time, bring Shobbers. I'll bring you an invitation on. This on me, big me.

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I'm gonna need you to be fucked a lot, man. Get free food, free rent, get everything else, man, hands up, deal, man. Then you gotta let a fuck up with me. This on me, big me. This on me, big me. Oh yeah. This on me, big me.

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