Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 508-Johnny Pemberton & Geoff Tate-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

This episode of YMH is sponsored by Manscaped.com! Use code: MOM for 20% off! Our Jeans are missing a pant leg today, so Josh Potter begins the show with Tom in order to discuss this man who hates Vapes. Plus, more inside info about the documentary that has changed the world - "Home Here Now: Robert Paul Champagne." Yay! Christina is back! Also in studio jeans is actor and comedian Johnny Pemberton, who you may know from NBC's Superstore or the FOX sitcom Son of Zorn, but you SHOULD know from his past appearances on YMH. Soon you will most definitely know him from his future as America's Premiere Raggae Comedian. Christina shows Johnny some TikToks, Would You Rather is played and reality shows are discussed. Next it's everybody's favorite Hot Dog and Gatorade comic, Geoff Tate. We get to see lots of COOL videos, play more Would You Rather and hear about a guy who has HIS own jet.

All right, let's start the show give it to me blue band. I'm sorry Open your fucking eyes and read Josh. Are you retarded at perves since vape's in front of a high school dude? Do you know how to read? With Tom Segura, and Christina Pajitzi. Welcome to your mom's house. Yeah, you may have noticed if you are listening you certainly have picked up on it. If you're watching the seat next to me is Empty today the reason why when she talks back. She's got to pay the price So That's what happened

No So we of course have two small children our youngest is sick. Yeah, we were up all night We slept like two hours. Luckily. We've had some help come in the morning We were able to catch like an hour nap and then Christina Should be joining us Later on in the show, but she's with the baby right now. He's about one And he's do he's okay, but you know, he's got a little thing So just kind of following up checking with the doctor, but that's why she's not here

God it feels good. So With me is our very own Josh Potter before I get to you in one moment. I do want to just talk to blue band quickly Yeah, tell you that It was great. Yeah that you listened good and you uploaded the 10-hour Intro song I'm so pleased by it by you that I'm actually okay with today having the regular length It just it feels like I don't know if he everybody knows but they can go to the YouTube channel and just dive in and

Soak it in and just bask in the glow of a 10-hour Video of our intro song on a loop. It's almost I almost feel bad that Christina isn't here to appreciate the normal Length intro. Yeah. Yeah, so now she's missing out And I gotta tell you it is a great way to tease the audience for the even longer intro that I want to build Right the 10-hour one is just the tip of the iceberg, you know, so we're are we gone for a full 24 hours next? I mean you two will out how long will they allow? That's a good thing when you do that research. Absolutely. Let's do the research Let's find out how long the intro can be on YouTube. I

Know that the audio audience is asking for an upload of intro only we could definitely do that We could do that, right? I know there's a size limit Yeah, well, we just got to expand the storage on our lips and account then we'll be fine. Okay. Yeah, that could be great How much is that like three grand? It's worth it. I don't know whatever it is. I mean, I'll sell a fucking kidney I don't care. Oh, yeah, I Yeah, I mean, I just want to give them what they want, you know, yeah I mean, I know that I when I saw that go up. I was like It took it took me to another place. It was it was the most joy

I've felt what ten hours did you spend listening to it? The immediate ten hours that followed you finding the yeah, it must have been it was within Ten minutes of it being uploaded. He surprised me. I didn't know it was being uploaded Did you sleep? Did you cuz I know some people were falling asleep to it waking up? It was still going. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that kind of it. Well, what happened to me was it was probably an hour or so before I was going to go to sleep. Mm-hmm. And so I just listened for about five and a half hours and Then when I woke up, I had about four and a half hours Now there was a legit critique though

I got to give credit to the people that critiqued it it says ten hours and the video is nine hours and 59 minutes and like 55 seconds. Yeah, so it's a little short. Are you fuck just want to say I just want to say it is a little false Advertising I'll give you that it's you know to get it to end on a loop. Oh, I see okay So that's why it was like that, but you know round up a little bit forgiven. Yeah, really? Yeah, maybe next time make an extra one Yeah, it's all done. So I'm out of the doghouse, right? Definitely you're definitely in good standing with me now. I think that the main thing is Let's figure out this new like a lot of people were like man I really can't wait for the really long version to come out, you know

So we can discuss that we'll have a meeting and figure it out. Yeah, but um, okay, so that's that Josh, thanks for jumping in here Good to have you no problem Before before I forget I don't want anybody to not know this I mentioned it last week you are gonna be in Seattle Chop suey on September 5th. Is it? Yes, sir September 5th Your original show sold out immediately. So we moved you to a bigger place Which is cool. So, you know buy some tickets so it doesn't look like dog shit. No, it's gonna be great You're gonna sell that out. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm super excited for I'm pumped because that was a place

I wanted to do it initially so and you're coming with me On that run you're gonna do like Appleton Peoria. Yeah, Rochester, Minnesota Yeah, all those and then we're also gonna do Europe together Yes, October and if the government allows you maybe even do Canada. Yeah, that's not looking up, but we can talk about So This first video we were watching is a guy his name is Josh too. Oh, right So Josh is there's a guy named Josh who's putting up a I guess you would what kind of sign is that that's the kind of you see it real like real estate signs that are tied defenses

Yeah, it's like a vinyl a vinyl. Yeah, like a vinyl sign. It's you know, it's probably eight feet long by four feet tall it's stretched out, you know, and he's tying it to a fence No, no, it's it's tied to a fence. It's okay like zip tied to a zip tied to a fence and this guy is not into it Right, right, and he's seeing the guy who's zip tying it right the guy is putting it up in the moment I think what happened was that he saw it tied up and he started cutting it down and that attracted an audience And so now he's currently defending himself, but it seems like the guy he's yelling at was the guy who was putting it up I think that's possible. I think that dude was definitely I think he works for the school I think all these people are work with or associated with this dude really

I mean, I love an outrageous freak out disaster You know like in public yeah, it's really fun. It's the best it happens a lot this one's so jarring like I feel it inside It's so outrageous. All right, let me see. Let me see how this goes again. All right, so I'm out in front of The high school the high school and here we are with Epivacents right in front of the high school Supporting vapes for all of our young kids that are below 18 So far this seems like you're on board with so far so far It seems like a guy who's making a good point that he's like, you know what?

This is this is the problem You're advertising to vulnerable people and it's the wrong place to do it and it's like yeah You know, it's the same kind of guy that's outside of fucking whole foods with a clipboard And you're like go fuck yourself But like it's fine, you know and you're saying that the man in the gym shorts works for this vape I think so that was my assessment. Well, he's having seen the short clip got the vape uniform Yeah, for sure, which is what yeah, which is what which is the gym shorts with a polo shirt He just when I saw him. I'm like that guy vapes and then I

Saw that the banner was for a vape. I'm like, oh, he works. Do you vape? I will like when I have to as far as weed goes, but I don't vape sick I smoke cigarettes like a fucking human. Yeah, you know real fucking fucking person. Yeah You know smoke these fucking vapes, but uh, yeah, and I don't I also don't wear gym shorts or polo shirts It's like the opposite of my wardrobe. I actually feel like I've never seen you in anything other than a t-shirt and jeans, right? I've worn like Flannels right. Oh, okay, but like hoodies. I guess no, no, no, right. Yeah, that's like an addition I remember one time we did a show in like Long Island or some shit

And I wore like a collared shirt with a sweater over it And you were like you look really nice and I was like thanks and then I like didn't do well and I was like Oh, yeah, dressing like this. Yeah. Yeah, and then I also remember that on that tour I was like, what would it take for you to wear a tank top jean shorts sandals and Do a set like that surf comic. Yeah, and you were like how much were you pay me? I was like, I don't know like a thousand dollars. I'll do it right now. Yeah, I Kind of want to do that. Yeah, I'd fucking wear a tank top and wear a basketball jersey Would you wear? I want to start wearing basketball jerseys. Would you do one fuck-off set where you wear something ridiculous like that?

Of course. Yeah. Yeah, why don't we do it in on this the tour like one night one show fair Do you pick any show you want? Can it be the fair? Yeah, cuz I feel like yeah, we should do it there Okay, cuz it's at the fair. It's at the fair. I'd be like, hey guy and just be like I should get like the fair clothes Yeah, yep Please exposed exposed shoulders. Oh, yeah, those arms. I'll wear my John Stockton jersey shorts. Will you wear shorts? I have to buy shorts are horrifying for the stage. I don't own a pair of shorts Have you seen a wacko at an open mic wearing shorts? Oh, I get I stopped I've calmed down in recent years, but I used to get like Borderline militant when I'd see someone wearing shorts. I'm like you have some pride. Yeah, you know, there's a famous open mic

I think it'd probably make a case for the best open mic in the country if not the world It's Mondays at Acme in Minneapolis Sells out like people pay to go to it and it's jam-packed and I went one time I flew in that because the week there starts on Tuesday. I flew in on Monday and I went to it and I was and I did a spot. I mean, it's like it's like a great show Mm-hmm. There was a guy on stage Older guy wearing shorts and like the Velcro Flops, yeah, like he just walked out of those like are you I mean it registers as this is an insane man

Did you just walk out of the dorm room? Yeah, you fucking child like what are you doing? He was saying you're standing in front of people Thing is like you came and pay attention to what he's saying. No, someone dresses like that It's like it's like if a woman had her tits out It was like so one thing I was happened to you like I'm not listening to you But like a gross woman having their tits. Yeah, you're like, I can't look away what I want. Yeah, it's a fucking car accident Yeah, and they just look like that. It's cuz you're just thinking where's the shower, bro? Like, what are you doing? What are you doing man? What do you do get your shit? If you are starting out in comedy? Let me just tell you right now always pants just that always shoes always closed-toe shoes always

Yeah, there's never a case for you to not do that. You're going on stage. Yeah, it's like it's crazy You're a crazy person. It's wild. Okay, and then the sitting in the chairs. Wait. Wait. Now wait Can you read what it says on his arm? Nadav it says board member, okay of the vape company of the vape of the vape company But see he's got a zip tie in his hand. So that's why I think yeah Yeah, he's doing the sign. Oh, he is I think he works for the school Putting the baby putting up the vape. Why do you think he works for the school? Go ahead. I'm sorry. What's wrong?

Open your fucking eyes and read Josh. Are you retarded? That's it's vapes in front of a high school dude. Do you know how to read? Oh? Here we go so he works for the festival the Dixon Petunia Festival and he actually has a Festival shirt, so this dude is so but he goes he went from like semi reasonable Community member who's just like this is a problem To to attend. Oh, yeah. I mean that is not how you go. It's not how you talk someone into no It's like he's confronting Richard Spencer. Yeah

I thought he was going to throw a milkshake at him or something. Yeah, all right Do you know how to read? Then fucking tell me what's wrong with vapes in front of the high school and kids are getting caught with them And we don't know what it does. It's wrong. I'll put up a sign I'm a fuck you need a literate. Are you telling me you can't see how stupid you are? Yeah, yeah He works for the vape company though. I hate him so much. I mean like This this would make me want to go by 20 vape signs

All over You go ahead I've already called them all right good. So, you know whoever calls first is the one that's not in trouble I understand that's not how that works That works whoever calls for it's a race That's what OJ said Yeah, whoever calls it first that's who's not trouble. Why don't you use that rhyme there? See your ID your other head. I would rather see your ID Josh No, you can walk away, it's not but making yourself a part of this go away

That's definitely the vape patrol that guy's got a polo. They're coming over There's track and field guy here So someone has now seen the ruckus from across the street and is approaching to see how he could help I am I'm actually so those guys have to know Joshua who's being verbally assaulted. I think normally if you see that like if you see someone getting it, you're not like let me go Inject myself. I think some people are you think so breathe. They're like, oh look a ruckus. I'm gonna how could I get involved? Did you see the Disneyland ruckus? Oh my god. That was just nonsense. That was crazy. That guy's such a bitch He's the guy that beat up the women. Yeah, and he didn't know he didn't

Fight the guy or the guy that choked him out He's like who he acts like he didn't see who choked him out and anytime a male was about was like hey man calm down He was like, oh, I'm good, bro. Yeah, like back and then he grabbed women. Yeah Yeah, as he walked by he'd like grab their hair such a bitch move. Yeah in Disney World or land or whatever So this is how you want to handle Right when people don't resize they gotta get shook the fuck up. Oh, you've never made a mistake in your life Fucking every day of my life. I mean so then then why don't we be solved this like because they look at me like I'm Retarded. No, they're not. I got all your names. You're on YouTube live right now. It's all good YouTube live

He's borderline crying. He is insane. I feel like maybe a vape killed his dad or something Like I've never seen somebody get so angry his voice has your voice ever been that high-pitched. I mean maybe when I was 13 You're on YouTube live. You lost if you're talking that high and plus I called the cops first. I win But who's ever who's ever wanted argument talking that high-pitched. This dude's completely irrational This is not your property. She said go ahead and get it down. She said no such thing. I have it. I'm recording Elliott. So get back in your little wheelchair and go away. You need to calm down. This is not your property Holy shit. So he's like is he trying to take it down? Yeah, so more people are approaching and he's reading their name tags and telling them to go away by their first name

It's just really good moves across the board where if all these people work at the school. What are the children doing? These people be doing something. They're all part of the vape fest I was told that I could cut it down. I'm a board member. I'm saying you Read some shit. Yeah, I don't agree with it either Then why are you allowing it because they give us the money because you're a fucking fat ass whore This is the kind of thing where if I was if I was near it I would go as far away from it as I can. I would rather watch that dude bathe in sewage again Which was one of the grossest things I've ever seen

Then see somebody behave like this actually makes me so uncomfortable, you know, what would you tell that guy if you were stuck? If what I tell the guy yelling. Yeah, dude It would be hard at this like once he's like being super disrespectful to people To not at least, you know, try to incite violence. Yeah, you know, I'd be like what yeah, what do you want right now? Take can you fucking read listen to your voice? Yeah, what is going on? I don't know. I would be like trying to encourage somebody to hit him Is it end here yeah, that was what so the video ends with him going back into his car Like and people like hey man, you can't leave now, right? Remember how you won the cop call race? Yeah

I think he was just trying to convince him to not call the cops. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's uh, it's just a showdown and then he drives away Oh, man, and then he uploaded this. Yeah, he did he's uploaded. It's like, oh, wait. Do they get a load of me? See how well I did can't wait for all the pats on my back. I'm going to receive Yeah, this was like This would be like uploading a video of you shitting your pants, you know, yeah Trying to ask a girl out You're like, I really think you're God damn, he's the worst. I hate this guy. No, this is my new least favorite guy. I've ever seen he's making me angry

Yeah, I hate him so are you retarded dude? He used it a lot. Yeah, he did he did he should have called him tick-tocked. Yeah super tick-tocks. Yeah, they're both tick-tocks Yeah, yeah Fat-ass whore It is interesting I'll say this it's somewhat creative and new for a man to call another man a fat-ass whore I would have assumed that that would have been yelled at a woman You know because guys will say that to women so I'm proud of him

Is it because he's accepting the advertising dollars and he's a he's a whore right man. Oh, right It's real is cerebral. You're a fat-ass. You're a fat-ass whore whore taking this money money slut Mm-hmm open your fucking eyes and read Josh Oh, I love it man. That sounds like everyone on fucking Twitter yesterday. Yeah being like hey, what's up with the eyes? Yeah, why are your eyes not good got it fix your fucking eyes Dude so we gotta say this by the time this comes out it'll be a while from when we recorded this Just because of you know how this show has to be backlogged

But at this point we're less than 24 hours of having the RPC the Robert Paul champagne documentary home here now Uploaded to our YouTube channel if you listen only to this show if you're only a a listener that downloads the show I Highly encourage you to go to our YouTube channel your mom's house podcast on YouTube and Watch the 30-minute documentary slash interview that Josh Potter did with Robert Paul champagne in Harlem

There is there it was just like in less than 24 hours it got About 200,000 Listens I guess you could say Views have you had anybody that was a real serious Possibility some guy he's getting out in August right because island but The deal is he has Grand Theft and that is not a good deal Yeah, so you're thinking because of the Grand Theft he might not make it out great

I don't mind a rape or a little minor robbery, but Grand Theft he sees the antiques. I don't want to be the next victim Okay, that's one of the highlights of your interview with with Robert it by the way So in our world this broke our internet, right? Like this got like I said incredible amount of views for a video of that length All the feedback was just over they overwhelming support and joy for The profile of Robert but also for the job you did and with it Robert and that Paul Brazil did in making it People are over the moon about it Did this blow your mind when he said a little rape? I don't mind

No, I mean did it blow anyone's mind I mean we went into this because of a video where he's like piss on me beat me I think I thought it was kind of par for the course You know wasn't the shocking part to me But the fact that he was like concerned about Grand Theft was the was the more surprising part I think that that was yeah, that was the part. I was like what really like they see these antiques Yeah, that part. It's like he doesn't care about the rape that part. I was like, okay I get where you would be coming from in that case, but the part where he's like, but these antiques

I'm like, all right. It's really interesting to me when somebody Values items that nobody else does, you know, like when I guess you normally would think of it as sentimental things Yeah, but sometimes people think of the item as not sentimental They're like that is very valuable and you realize like I bet most people would be like now. I'm good Yeah, I'm always shocked at like how valuable a baseball card could be yeah something like that because I feel like did you collect that stuff? You like sports. I tried to I think my dad definitely collected a lot of cards, but then you know Gary Vee. Yeah He's he's on this. I see him on Instagram He's on this kick or that he thinks that they're about to make a huge comeback really

Yeah, well that still has them because he's like, this will be your college someday and I guess what didn't work out Wait, did you go at all the college? Yeah three years and did the cards pay for it? No, I'm fucking paying for it Still got a long way to go. Hell. Yeah, dude. Which college did you go to? I went to a small Jesuit college in Buffalo called Canisius College expensive. Oh, yeah Well, I didn't know any better. What were those low how much we're loved much for the loans I owed it. Well, I think I started with 80 grand For not even getting for a communications degree, which I think is highway robbery It is I have the same school should be in jail. I have the same worthless degree. Yeah, I didn't get I'm gonna get it

Comm major. I Didn't even get it. I was already I had a full-time job in the business and I'm like, what am I wasting time getting a degree for? Just give us any grand. We'll be fine. Yeah Okay, so and I know yeah, I went three years and it was 80 grand. Yeah, three years Mm-hmm $80,000. Yeah, and I'm not I mean I dropped out. I'm not like crying about it, but I yeah, you know, it sucks And the baseball cards didn't do shit That's all I'm saying. Maybe try to get those cars now. Let's see what kind of dough we can get from you know Maybe yeah, I mean, maybe I should just have Robert

Let me get some of those antiques, but I don't think so. I don't think that's okay. I don't think that'll work out I I just feel like he He would not be willing to part with those maybe you could get him to leave him to you and his will Well, he is looking for someone to leave stuff in his will and I feel like I am high on that can you gotta be Yeah, I feel like one of the reasons is that he knows your full name. Yeah. Yeah, he has my phone number. Yeah Yeah, wild and he yeah, I can I I consider him a friend as well. Yeah. Yeah, no, he's great There's so many moments. It's all the things that like we wanted to know you ask one of my favorite moments

Here's a highlight that you ask him about drinking piss. When did you first drink piss? When was the first time that happened? I did that when I went to the little other bars Yeah, they did them right in the leather bars. Yeah, if you didn't do it. Well, you're a loser. You couldn't stay the bar How about that? That's something, huh? Yeah, drink this piss or get the fuck out. Yeah That really separates the men from the real game. They know they yeah, exactly You're fucking hardcore and a man, you know, it's interesting that that was the bars policy because You know, if people drink piss, they're not really spending a lot of money at the bar So it might be the reason it went out of style, you know, maybe yeah, yeah

Open very long maybe because of their business practices What that really does though to me when I when I when I hear him say that mm-hmm is like that means Savages only yeah, so then you know that everyone there is down for whatever. You're not like hey I wonder if this guy would be willing to have you know Spend the night talking to me like it's right. Everyone's there is drinking it's like you're in the club, you know It's like I don't know. That's why I asked him even if it was some sort of hazing. He didn't really Respond to it, but I asked him if it was some sort of hazing meaning like Initiation, you know, right? You're you drink the piss you're in kind of thing

Yep, and then he just kind of like took it to the next level, but no they just seem to be Drinking piss the whole night through drink that piss man Hell yeah, it's gotta be good It's it's for like and I know I know people are disappointed that I didn't Either drink the piss or share my piss with Robert. I really thought that might happen. Yeah, what happened there? the thing is and This is this comes up in a lot of scenarios with certain complaints perhaps But there is no space in that room. Yeah, there is no space to set up cameras properly

There is no space that we're lucky. We got either of us in a shot. Yeah, you know And so if I were to piss we weren't allowed to go in the bathroom also by the way and the kitchen You were not allowed to go to the bathroom not allowed to go check out the bathroom as we have in our tour coming out At a later date you won't see the bathroom because we weren't allowed to go in there And we weren't allowed to go into one of the bedrooms. What do you feel like is in those rooms? I don't know because the stuff that we were allowed to go in I was like why are we allowed to go in here? You know, yeah, so God I

Don't Fucking know but he did this interview like what two feet from you. Yeah You can see at one point in the interview how close we're sitting. Yeah hands down and that and the and his genitals are Barely covered by his leg being yeah, I wonder what would happen if you had to lean lean forward and just you know Give it a kiss. I would have Well, that brings me to the reason the piss thing didn't happen is because I'm adverse to the smell of urine Mm-hmm. It really bugs me. Yeah, and it was profound

Throughout the house really and if I were to then piss into a glass I might have thrown up and there was no place there was no place to throw up And then you're like I gotta go to the bathroom and you open it. He's like, sorry. I gotta do it Boom wrench over the head. Yeah, so it was just like one of those things where and poor Paul our director is By the way, you see how close we're sitting Paul is literally standing Right next to us there. We're all confined into a space as big as like this to this It's that small huh that's not we were in a little elbow is the rest of this There's all kinds of stuff everywhere

That's the thing is that is it so small because of the amount of stuff Yes, and he has little tunnels to go like his hallway So we're talking borderline hoarding a complete hoarder. Okay, and you'll see in the tour more of that I'm sure so okay, and then here. Oh, this is I think so many people immediately Like I said at this point that this has been out It's been out less than 24 hours when we're when we're doing this segment Hundreds of people messaged about a cockroach That's crawling. I don't know if you saw I didn't see it

And I'm I feel so blessed that I'm so blind because I probably didn't see a lot of things in that dark place Yeah, you know that I wouldn't I want I think it's crawling on the back panel, right? Right over yeah, is this the clip so I have two clips one of just to see if you could spot it Mm-hmm, and then another one with it highlighted like a okay. I'll highlight. Okay. Let's see Go shut the stars. You got to float away and go go with the flow mom and he came out Go shut the stars you got to float away and go go with the flow mom And he came out I think a lot of people with what they were excited about was not to like I mean look roaches are everywhere It's not like you can't find a roach in a in any place, but that your nickname also is Roach

Yes, so you were there in more than one form. Yes, I was I it was like I Jumped up in the background. There's so is that a roach. Is that what that is? I think so You gotta float away go with the flow mom. Yeah, it's a roach But you know, it's like you were there in June in New York. Yeah, there's roaches everywhere Of course roaches in any apartment You also got into Celebrity talk with him. Oh, yes Some of the famous men he's been with here's an audio highlight of that

Now tell me one thing. Tell me the most Sexually wild time you've ever had the most successful, you know what I'm saying like most we all have memories of our past You know where we go? That's the night, you know Do you have one of those stories when I had to sing at least sing a queen? The lead singer queen mr. Freddie Mercury and this is I'd imagine before he unfortunately Was affected with the HIV well, we warned him. He never listened really Wow, that sounds about right to me. Yeah Yeah, people like all these wild tales and stuff and I'm like wild tales

I they all sound true wouldn't it be wild if Robert was the kind of guy who like, you know, he's he's so out there with his Sexual needs and like he's like piss on me beat me and like just a guy on the street can come in But he's like you gotta wear protection. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he is that way Yeah, he is kind of like there there is that yin and yang to him which is a very Intriguing part about Robert is that he's he's very careful and caring and sweet But he has another side that he wants to just get punched in the fucking face by a giant black man

Right while he pounds his ass or Latino. Let's be a Latino or as we learned in the interview now Middle Eastern as well Middle Eastern guys can get in there Also try it out This is what for me my personal hardest laugh. I mean, there's it was like intriguing. It's fun. It's entertaining It's just there's so much going on, but I laugh so hard when you give him At the end merch and he does a couple hard eye rolls Thanks, yeah, and he rolls his eyes so hard at it. I laugh I watch that part like 10 times

I'm trying to figure out if it's because they are shirts in general He's just rolling his eyes at the idea of clothing shirt. Yeah, or is it because he's Not into the fact that he's a meme. I don't know. Yeah, here's a couple right here. There is your ad On a shirt that now you can just wear this around and you don't even have to say it anymore You can just wear this to work and read it. Yeah, there you go. That's your work. This one That's your work Shit

Yeah, and we have so you can go around town now. You don't have to tell anybody Okay, two three nine five right on it for you, sir. Okay, also It's like he knew the I mean he's doing it right at the camera, too. It's yeah, it's either Perfect placement like deliberate on his part or it's a perfect capture of a real moment. Yeah, I think it is Yeah, I don't think he's playing the camera. I don't think so either That's why it's so wild as they all think yeah It's like mugging at the camera. No, and it's also funny because like you're just being like here's some free stuff Right, but then it built he gets a little he less I rolls with a free computer

Yeah, that's he let I rolls less at a phone. He's make sure boost you can work with boost and then I wish I were I mean God help everyone's telling me by the way. They're like yeah, he's not using these. I know We bought him an iPhone the bug you got to help him set it up. I'm like, I don't work for boot I don't know anything about boost mobile man. I'm sorry. You got to go back and set them up with And then now the cash there was no I roll Yep, take that. Oh, yeah. He was down. I gotta put this away. Yeah. Yeah, all the I rolls stopped at cash Yeah, that's when things got Well, that was great man, I you know people people flipped out they they fucking love the whole piece you did a great job

Thank you, I think you really thank you for asking me to do it by the way. Oh my god the main thing I really realized having seen how that went is We got a we got to figure out our next Original, you know piece that we do where we can send you in the field and I don't know if we find the moose soup lady Oh, man, I'll go down for some moose soup or You know smokes of meth with that guy and see how fast you can down for that too Or the Benadryl guy me and the Benadryl guy got things in common 10 to 12 bitch, you know even there's

There's a lot of potential to do more. Yeah, for sure. I hope we I'm happy everybody enjoyed it for the most part and Thanks for watching it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Thank you very much for supporting it It's always nice When one of our legendary music producers Sends in another banger Ali Zezer with the The mash-up of the intro For an instrumental called a farts for mental he put some remix

Ali always bringing that heat Well, let me tell you real quick where I'm gonna be I am with Josh Potter for a whole run beginning July 23rd Rochester, Minnesota The 24th in Appleton, Wisconsin the 25th Rockford, Illinois 26 Peoria 27th Cedar Rapids and the 28th in Evansville, Indiana Next I go in August to Wilkesbury then Terry town Albany Foxwoods and Hampton Beach and Burlington, Vermont. Those are all in August from there. I'm on to Canada London, Ontario, Toronto, Winnipeg, Vancouver and Calgary. Those are all at Tom Segura comm slash tour

we've added a bunch of second shows and cities you can check out the dates there the European tour is on sale and We added a third show in Austin. That's November 17th. The 16th is all sold out Pensacola is about to sell out and Columbus, Ohio in December is about to sell out So get your tickets Tom Segura comm slash tour Josh. You're gonna read some Christina dates Yes, I have Christina's dates which are on Christina P online comm August 2nd and 3rd She's gonna be at what would she say soft big titties Is that a Salt Lake City? Yeah, a Shark Lake titties. Oh my god. Okay, and then September

Fall it's gonna be Milwaukee, Wisconsin Chicago, Illinois and then later in the fall Boston Nashville Seattle in Portland I don't know all her names for the city. It's all good and You once again our September 5th chop suey in Seattle. Are you adding more dates? We're gonna have more dates coming very very soon probably be actually what by the time this comes out There might be some actually okay, so well, we'll plug it again cool All right, that's it. Thanks to Ali Zezer and of course to Josh Potter why and each will be right back and we're back with a return guest a comedian and actor

He's going on tour this July. You can get tickets right now at Johnny Pemberton dot dog That's dot doji and that is not a lie. Is that a lie? No, someone stole my website because I let it let it lapse and so they they snatched it up I'm not gonna pay someone they did they contact you. No, it didn't contact me, but I think I don't know Maybe I'm not that important for the contact me, but I was Didn't ransom me, but I also thought dogs better. It's a way there somebody messaged me recently And they're like trying to hook you up. I'm a fan. I got all these sites

Do you want them and it was like cranky comic tired comic? Now the dot dog it's it's not dot dog calm It's just dot doji and you can do that. You don't straight up dot dog I don't know. I didn't do any of the work of it. How do you do it? Must not be that Must be like very simple. I'm there right now. It is live. Yes, real It is dot dog That's great, I've never seen well, I was trying to get reggae.com Cuz I'm a huge reggae fan. I try to get reggae.com. Just be reggae.com reggae.com

I'll be from the right way. Oh, right. It's available right for you as a reggae Exactly, that's why and you don't listen to it ironically. It's not like not even a trace. There's really what's your jams? Who do you like? I mean stuff that you've never fucking heard of. Yeah, like this guy toy on I love him I love low-end ranger. I love them Toy on big time. I really like Dillinger is great. Yeah, toy on toy on has a toy has an album called murder and he was murdered. Oh, he was yeah How's he doing now? Is he good? It's still music still great. Is he still dead? Yeah, he's still he's still dead

He got how long ago did he die? I think he died like probably about 20 years ago. Yeah, this look old Yeah, do you know sister Nancy? I love sister mom. I like that jam mom being up. That's the classic see where that's the same Genre like that that rub-a-dub zone. That's the key stuff that I like that stuff what I heard We like this guy. What about Wayne past the touch it on a left hand side? I don't know less musical youth less. So I remember The first time I heard sister Nancy bum bum was I don't know let's say on TV or something And I yeah, it's in Valley and but I also like it was one of those things You know when you're at a certain age when you can't figure out what were songs like when you hear something

I mean like before Shazam and you're like the fuck is this? Yeah, you try to ask someone. They're like, oh, no It's a song. Oh, right. So I like I was like god damn it. And then I didn't hear it I didn't know what the song was. I didn't hear it again For a little while and a DJ was playing it at a party. I was that and I rushed The the DJ station. I was like, hey, man. He's like I'm kind of I was like, what is this? What I was like, what is this? Oh, it's just a Nancy. Yes, then I was like, all right. I'm done Did you did you grow up like so many kids with like that Marley, you know the whatever no not at all No, I just got into it. I mean, I think I kind of resented didn't resent

But I would talk shit about Marley because I went to Florida State, right? And that's like people are playing that's in every dorm room everywhere every frat house is blasting the legend Which is the same at USF University of San Francisco because it was a hippie every place Well, I went to high school in Florida and that that specific Marley greatest hits. Yeah, every party Every every heist you went to FSU. Did we talk about that? We have talked about it Different time. There was a different time. We didn't cross wait. What years did you go there? I think I graduated in 2005 oh five. Oh my god. What made you choose there? So, you know, I went there pussy. No, yeah You know, I went there cuz they accepted me

That's a good reason. I applied all these schools. Yeah, I'll go to I'll go to NYU and I have a 3.2 GPA I'll go to all these applied like all these schools apply to UCSB UCSC I was such a bad high school student man that this is like this such an insult. I bet Florida State would have turned me down That's that's how bad of a student. You got in state. I mean, I didn't even try man. Yeah, I didn't even try I did go to the school that accepted me. It's a good school. Yeah, I got into USF on academic probation That's how stupid I was damn. Mm-hmm. What'd you study at FSU? You know, um beer Yeah, homie Was it a super fun time? It was the most fun. I've ever had my entire life. Yeah

Yeah, I would I learned about doing power hours within a power hour No, for a while. That's all I could only way I could drink was by it's you take a shot of beer every minute for an hour Wait every minute so we get like a case of Mikalov shots shot of beer a shot glass So you take a shot of beer listen to some sound garden for a minute and then you do another shot of beer But a playlist we had a playlist actually 60 shots 60 shots Oh my or as many as you can handle basically if you can do warm-up do 15 You know if we're gonna go to a party But what came to the point where that's the only way I would get drunk was power was doing like a shots of beer

Even just casually like oh, we're gonna drink now. I'm just gonna pour a shot. You a shot glass I can use Like for what? You know to have have my beer in that is you know what I I used to like It's right. I used to have that dream in high school. Where's your high? Where'd you go high school, Minnesota? I want to I used to dream in high school that College would be what you imagine FSU is like right. I mean, yeah, I imagine that college would be Parties and just like a lot of kids like revenge of the nerd kind of yeah And it seems like that that's really like that there right in a way

I feel like I remember hearing um, you know that keyboard player from the doors Ray Manzorak He was talking about his college experience and how he was saying like all it was was fucking everyone's fucking like under the Stairs just fucking and stuff and I got to college and it's like this this we're not all fucking everyone Listen, we're fucking me under there like a lot of I mean I imagine that's a big sex campus. Yeah Yeah, I think what was I was a virgin until college. So you were but I did get laid in in was it easy You just throw your dick out. I don't know wait. Did you get laid freshman year? I think it was freshman year Yeah, yeah, was it a girlfriend or just a hookup? It was a girlfriend, but it was early on I think yeah That's how you lost it. Yeah. Wow a floor state a floor state. Go nose man. So go nose. I guess in the dorm room

No, it wasn't a dorm room. It was not where did you fuck? It was in an apartment. Nice right in the butt No, no knock us right to the butt. You put it in your stupid mouth first and then I Don't know man Yeah, you want me to say yeah, yeah, yeah, I put it in your stupid mouth first Is this guy guy chat? Yeah, hey, hey, please stupid mouth first. I bet you couldn't talk Yeah, but I made her pick up some groceries first

Yeah, that's stupid bring the groceries back drop them off put the ones that are cold in the fridge Put the ones that are frozen in the freezer put the stuff that's room temp in the cupboard. I'm gonna get the head Get to step. Wow walking. I love it. Step it out, but now you're a married. Yeah, I'm very gentle Yeah, what so the last time we saw you right first of all we were in different location was Now we're here and so you were you a engaged fellow did we even know that oh man, I think I was engaged Yeah, I was engaged then. Yeah, I think I was the wedding. It was great. Went to Hawaii. Just we did an elopement Oh, oh No, no, nobody no invites. Whoa

Were your parents pretty steamed? Not really, but it's also like I don't care. Yeah, cuz I know even her My wife's dad is a great guy Wonderful person. He was like, oh, can we please just just I can go I won't get in your way Like no cuz if you go that means that yeah, no everyone else wants to go so you did tell him ahead of time Yeah, no, it wasn't like a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing. It wasn't like that cuz they didn't tell him Did you guys always want to do this or was this kind of just come about I think it was a thing where I She didn't want to have like a party kind of like a wedding cuz a wedding is so you have to like be they have to like

Yeah, it's like performing almost it is the opposite of performer So we had a party to satisfy everyone six months afterwards because her grandparents couldn't really travel They're so old. Yeah, so we had a party like on where they live in Claremont in California so Yeah, the wedding was just us. It was really great. It was like, you know, which island did you go to? What is it Maui? Nice party. That's a great place to elope, right? It was great We got we did the wedding at seven in the morning. Really? Yeah, it was like a muckluck ceremony like they do down there Is that a muckluck? I mean native or did you keep it Christian? You know, it was definitely probably a blend

Like that there's a fire pit we had to walk across some coals and it's a real I'm real mixture of different Wow Tommy you remember that show about the the the woman who gets pregnant by the guy that they fuck once and then he comes from Samoa Oh, yeah, Samoa not Samoa. Yeah, that's that's how they say it. They go Samoa Samoa and he shows up at the airport and he does that he does that look a mucklucka The fight dance. He's like And he's like stomps and like and she's just like oh my it's like an lax like that's fiance show What's it called the emergency marriage? Maybe no, this is 90 day fiance. It's 90 day. I can't watch that show dude

It's so good. It's so It's it hurts. It hurts. It's like you can it almost every case is the same someone goes on vacation They see someone that's hot. Yeah, they're attracted to and they're like wow and they're in that Headspace of the fantasy of vacation. Oh, yeah Oh, you know, you're drinking and laying on beaches and that's like I met the guy He he usually he just hurts goats, but it was a special thing and then they fuck You know, then maybe they fuck again and then they're like, it's amazing. Oh, I gotta go back and it's like vacations over I'm pregnant with the fucking gardener the dumb dumb baby. Yeah, is it always pregnant though?

No, no, but this show I feel like it was but it's a lot. There's a lot of pregnancies. Remember the russian Yeah, they are not they're pregnant. That was depressing and they were like 17 Yeah, there was one I saw where that woman was from I think from South America Maybe cuba and she made that guy go swimming who was scared to go swimming in the water Like when people make some money do something like that or she was like come in come in and he's like I don't know. Okay. That's I have my doctor said there's parasites in the water here and just like cut-core, you know Yeah, there was there's that there was the uh, the brazilian that ended up being out of her mind With the guy who's asked to ask mother. She ended up being out of her mind

Yeah, yeah, so crazy. Yeah, he um this brazilian hot chick comes where you know, she met him on vacation Of course, she thinks she's like he's american. He's rich and like he's like mother's in the other room right now mother and then And then it's like all kinds of things like when are we gonna get our own place? He's like, well, we'd have to bring mother and it's it gets fucking creepy. Yeah, it's always mother Which is yeah, no one likes mother. He has to ask mother So she's like, you know, you need some furniture in this like your empty room So many guys I feel like are like, yeah, I got like one table. Of course

So he's she's like you need a couch or something. He's like, okay, so she goes and she's like i'm gonna buy this couch and then The mother is like, did you talk to him about it? And she's like, well, no She's like, well, I don't think you should buy that couch And then she calls him and she's like Can I buy this couch because your mother is telling me not to he's like, well, it's kind of both of our money Wow, mother's too, you know, so that means it's her money Yeah, I think it's actually more that it was hit he had he works and was actually earning money

Right, but mommy's on the account and so She's allowed to like just weigh in on things, you know, it was really creepy Well, we're we're really into that show smothered. What is that? This is a new one. This is great Okay, tlc is knocking it out of the park little people fat people fat black little people There's a too fat to transition to that one. Is that a real thing? That's a real thing. Yes How do I not know about this? These are all the hit shows that tlc is giving I've been keeping myself purposefully in like a sort of a news vacuum and I think that now also

Accidentally has maybe not know about too fact a transition. Yeah, or smothered. Yeah, smothered is where the Um, what can I guess? Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. Smothered. It's a tlc show. It's a reality show. Yeah, yep I'm gonna guess this is about overbearing moms. Yeah, okay That was too easy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's it's a clever time Yeah, I also could have gone with people that work in the fetish industry. Yeah, and they like to sit on people By the way, are you selling your panties? Do you know how much money's in that right now? I thought it was illegal to do that It is I thought so too because of body fluids and stuff because a lot of I knew a lot of girls back in the day who would be like, well, I kind of would just sell my panties

Yeah, and then it was a thing where ebay stopped allowing it or something. Well, here's the thing that I try to recommend people to do Is to set up an instagram account just for your panties and people can DM you a pantygram Is it legal to sell used underwear online in the us? Well blue band. I can't read it. We can't read it because we're old It says you're welcome to sell it, but mailing it might cause some problems. Why would it cause a problem to mail it? You're not supposed to mail body fluids. It's illegal. Well, here's all you do, man. You put it in a ziploc bag You seal it shut you put it in a second bag and you mail that and you should be fine The dog sniffers the dog panties sniffers can't find it. I mean, it's up to you You do it whatever you know selling used underwear is not legal. It's not I just saw a comment on there

How is that not Legal I think it's probably something with sex trafficking. It's like a a broken windows policy kind of thing What what it means like if we allow this then we might as well allow Well now wait a minute. What about used clothing stores? What what's the difference between going to a vintage clothing store and a vintage underwear store because they're not marketing it as This used to be touching a vagina And you can smell it and maybe you'll come There's this vintage clothing store in my neighborhood and when you walk by the door open. It's like, yeah

Stinky stinky. It's like a special kind of stink. It's not like a yeah, it's a very unique Band width of yeah of basement. It is like dusty It's bad. Yes, it's disgusting man But look the smothered has the uh, not just the overbearing mother But the kid who is really too too close Oh, yeah, I mean the kid who's like honey. Can I suck on the nipple? Yeah, and they're like 31 And they're like I do everything with mommy mommy comes to lunch dinner. Mommy comes on dates With me when I go on a date. Yeah

There's one That mom will take a bath and then if the bath water is still warm the daughter will get in the bath After her and it's grotty, but that's so that's a mom and a daughter. Yeah, I feel like that is less creepy Then what then if it was a boy? Oh, that's super creepy. Yeah, I've actually heard of someone doing that with their mom Really sharing a bath What do you mean? She's Japanese though. This is this is Japanese too. Yeah, okay. See I think it's a thing I think that's maybe kind of like a cultural thing. This is a man or a woman. It's a woman Japanese woman would get in the bath with mom. She'd have a bath with her mom. Yeah

Hmm and I was she's first time I was like, okay. Well, that's uh, that's kind of strange but I think it's like like hold on like um Like a big bath like a thermal bath type bigger sauna or like a home bath like your regular apartment Like maybe a home bath. Yeah, but I think it's probably comes from that idea of a What do you call it communal bath the tradition of onsen? Oh, wow Do you sit do you sit behind your mom and you soap up your hands and you reach under You clean under mommy's teddies. You clean the under of the breast. It's a traditional thing

It's very traditional. Somebody did that for me. My name. There's a name for it. Chris knows the name for it What's the name? Yeah, Chris knows all these things the name of what of what that's called in japan It's called a tootaki tootaki mushrooms into the key k a k e Yeah The from samwa samwa and so they all say samwa Jamaica Yeah, do you know much they want to charge me for rakey dot com? How much? They wanted to charge me 300 thousand dollars. Who the people who own it

Uh, I've been I keep emailing emailing back with them be like, how about uh, $3,000? I was like, no, we can't sell it for that Why be like how about 300? Yeah, and like they've been emailing me back for about two years now Always with new prices though or no? Well, they keep saying are you still interested? Mr. Kevin, are you still interested in purchasing rakey dot com? I'm like, yes, I would like to buy it Yeah, so okay. Well the price is uh, we can lower it now too. I think it initially was $500,000 for rakey dot com Seems a bit excessive. Yeah, totally. Is there anything on there right now? It's nothing nothing nothing at all

Damn, so then all this time they could have been making You know six thousand what do you have is it pulling up rakey dot com? Yeah, what does rakey dot com have? It's nothing see it's nothing at all. What a waste. They're cutting my tour dates up there I know And then you could also be like have you guys checked out this new album? Yeah, you know you could always be plugging other reggae things just say you guys heard about reggae dude. Why aren't you selling? as merch Say johnny pemberton dot dog on a hat. Yeah, and then it has those fake dreads built in

My god, right and then you're like you're like hey, mon you put your sunglasses You know hold the joint I guess I could do that You mean you guess you could make a million dollars that I just gave you you gotta make a million dollars with that You know you could be the reggae comic and then all those douchebags in college that listened to bob marley freshman year Now you become their favorite comedians. They're like hey, these are pemberton's new one The problem is they don't talk about reggae at all on any of my comedy. Well, you will now it's for one time one joke That's all you need Yeah, I guess no he can write a reggae hour a reggae hour

Yes, people who like the music will come to see it the reggae hour I think once I do the the pats while accident. I think after about five minutes. Let's do it I can only do it. I have like I can't really do it. I haven't been listening to a lot of Reggae, but I do have like this joke where I talk about it's like the game of thrones Right rostas are like this and now by this now brothion lannister. Can you see a boy? I don't even know we can that's not on channel back when I don't see no, you know this and I am making a bonus now i'm on That was fantastic. That's so good. So last you control this. I know don't you know seen rasta Oh

That was really good. That's all I got Runting good boy. Yeah, rude boy. See what boy. So do you know this guy? Because we were talking about it earlier, right? Uh the movie belly. You saw that belly belly Bum bum sister nancy. I actually haven't seen that movie. That's the hype lamest movie, right? Yeah, that's tommy buns That's the fact that I haven't seen it is name Look, I'm not gonna be I'm gonna lie to you Do you like ska music? I like ska music. I love ska music. So do you know louis ranken? Yeah, so he's in belly Okay, he plays the villain

What do you know about him? Not that much. Okay. I know a lot more about that movie rockers Rockers rockers is the quintessential jamaican reggae film Really? It's like oh, it's the greatest. I've probably seen it like 30 40 times Because louis seemed like he's been in some shit I think a lot of jamaicans have been in some serious shit. Yeah, he he definitely It didn't feel like much of an act I saw like when that movie came out some of like the interviews with him after I was like It doesn't seem like he's really struggling to access. Yeah

Yeah, the kind of guy has like a cut on his face. That's we're looking for louis ranken Not louis not a football running back Yes Yeah, this dude is He's got some nice change. Yeah, he looks rough. Yeah, he does He's so good in that movie too. The movie is kind of ridiculous That's a stuff in the movie in the left there on the far left side. Yeah, that kind of looks looks very far left. Yeah

Yeah, wow. Yeah, he's blasted In the movie those eyes are blasted. Yeah Yeah, yeah, no, man, he's he's got the That whole The whole persona down a thousand yards there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you've been in jamaica I've been on like a vacation. Yeah, you know, but I don't like the shit not to Well, one time I did a road rules real world challenge And we're in I forget what's the fucking oh

Montego Bay, yeah And I remember I got kicked off the show right because you get voted off Whatever the island and they go well, we don't have your plane ticket home just yet because of sunfest So you have to stay in Kingston for two days before we can get you out of here And I have to well, I fucking was stranded there And so, um, I was like this not great hotel. Thank you. Buna Marie productions, by the way for putting me up I was like 26 years old and it was a fucking terrifying Terrifying it was so scary. I didn't want to leave my room and I would walk around Kingston

Everything you're saying right now. I'm like this sounds awesome. Oh, no, it's so scary and um I mean people were nice to me, but I was it was a little dicey. Yeah here and there I was like, yeah, that place is rough. Yeah, dude I mean, I don't know but I know a guy who used to be um a producer same as Danny Holloway He's like this dj guy now, but he used to produce for the heptones I think he produced about marley track But he was like, you know, this record label island records It's a uk label and they had a bunch of reggae

releases um in the 70s and he was like Louis, what's his name? Louis Blackwell the guy runs island records. He was his like man in Jamaica And he's like six four white dude But somehow he could hang because he said I've talked to him about it He was like I can hang there because I'm such a big dude and I would Be kind of imposing also. I'd be working with all these musicians and stuff So they would kind of guide me around so I was asking like what would if I want to go Jamaica the reggae fan Would I be okay? He's like no probably not

Really? Yeah, you would not you would get fucked with pretty hard. Yeah And the places I want to see I want to go to like trench town and stuff and see they're like no Yeah, you shouldn't yeah It's like it's not a place to go unless you have like a guy like someone with you Who can either from maybe multiple guys multiple? I guess I got a guy like a gui. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah like that having that Yeah, but if you're just walking around Hey guys, what's up? I love your music. Oh man. I love that record you have. Hey

No, because we had armed guards taking us around like if we had to do fucking whatever challenges They were like guys with guns that would shuttle us around. It's pretty gnarly Yeah Sounds but the music is dope. The food's great. People are nice That patois shit's great to listen to like I love listening to people talk around me. Yeah, and nobody says ID That's fucking bullshit. No, that's like a rasta thing The everything is ID like that's like tell tourists, you know, you say my tail I always told just to say if always if only if you say one thing you just say wagwan

I don't even know what that means like what's going on. It's like wagwan. I like it. I like it That's like saying we or excuse me. I know that they love they love like don't worry. Be happy. They say And they say like yeah mon Everything is irie mon. Right. I just said that's what they say irie. They love saying they love mon. You gotta throw a line Yeah, or you can just go da beach That's a big one instant friends da beach Beach and you ask for weed

Asking for weed is is instantly it's like, oh, you're cool. I thought you might have been a cop but you You asked for weed. So yeah under beach and they're like, yeah, you know, you know the weeds real big here And then it's like a whole thing. It's good. I pulled up that clip. I sent you an email to um to your email Where you get your emails I sent you the louis clip from the movie so you can actually see um

You just did that. Yeah, I did it while we were talking. Oh, wow There's there's 12 of that. It's 12 of that one the second one the middle one Yeah, so look at louis here. There's louis rank in the movie You're kind of out, you know, I mean I want to I mean I want to ask. I mean I want to help you I Next time the county of the state see me, it's gonna be in the back You thinking you was a real dread man And what I you're coming to my house

Don't you ever bring scared business to me? You're looking at the toughest Ross slot in the united state of america Whoa, what's up? The toughest Ross clot That's pretty tough. Yeah, it's a tough Ross. I don't think they're had too many takes I think he was like, all right Cut Yeah, that guy's scary as hell. Yeah, he really is

He is If he's being nice, he's probably scary. Yeah, it seems like it Um, I don't know. I'm a fan Nice jeans He's like, here's someone you'll find terrifying christina Yeah, he's always doing that like we were with the children and we have a three-year-old and an almost one-year-old Baby infant and we're all hanging out on the couch And I go tommy

Why don't you turn the television on for the week something we can all watch and he turns on the news And it's like five gunmen carrying gun blowing the heads off of two children And my three-year-old's just like what and he's like not registering. I wanted to load what's going on the news Yeah, it's so inappropriate. I'm like, I'll get ready for that shit. Yeah Yeah, and then he turned it to another one and it was like another killing thing Do you want him to not even be ready for the world? Yeah three No, that's how the world works, you know, just killing all the time Yeah, that's how it goes man. So I've got this clip to show you. Um, we discovered this guy recently

Um, it looks good already feature a lot of cool guys Jesus christ this guy's this guy's scary. Yeah, this looks like Oh, you're gonna the eyebrows are killing the game Anytime I see a man with eyebrows that attended I feel bad. Here's the thing. He doesn't have a lot of power. Am I right? I don't think it's oh, he's not really feeling himself. But hopefully we can encourage him. He seems like a humble lad You know like that as though like breakups are hard. Don't get me wrong ladies ladies and gents play boys and play girls Breakups are hard Holy shit, I think I auditioned for this

Holy the word is that like it's like it's a real guy But there's like a filter on there. It makes it look like he's even sexy like a uv light or something. Yeah, that's true That is true for you know a sexy italian boy like me The most fucking Drop dead gorgeous guy in this motherfucking state of utah. Fuck it any girl in the state that ass We all party No shame no game, baby. You want that old boy or that young buck, baby? Because I'm that young buck We all party it is

That's a that that is Holy shit, this is real. That is real. Do you do you think his dog? There's a cool guy I noticed he's wearing dog tags. Do you think that's from his service could be There's no way this guy has either service or urban outfitters. Yeah one of the one of the two Cracking a couple of coat ones I've already went through you know a 12 pack, but we are out of here. I'm about to go give me another sixer You know what I'm saying? It is the weekend cheers everybody drink responsibly You know take your hoovers, you know take your you know caps on because you know, it's all about drinking responsibly

You know, you know, take your hoovers. Take your caps. Do not drink and drive this weekend Don't do it. It's bad. We got it. Anyways, we are party We are about to get that ass and we you know, we're doing it. I'm over there, baby I love that saying nothing. He's saying he's saying absolutely nothing. He's also Saying we out of here and then continuing to talk. Yeah, the big thing that would be a sign-off like and then we out of here And boom you turn up but he does it throughout We're out of here. You know what I'm saying? Drake responsibly because you know, it's bad to drink and drive take your hoovers. We out of here

Dead ass we about of here because dead ass we about of here dead ass You got to sit by a pine tree and you got to have a cup You got to be with a pine tree outside because in Utah these pine trees are fucking like so dead ass. They're tall We about to hear that ass There was this girl and I knew in a high school High school in college who ran the hip-hop radio station And we were in the I worked in the radio station in college And we were in the break room. We had a fridge. It was like a saturday night and this girl comes in she looks in the fridge

She goes, oh those yo sippy sips And we were we slowly uh What? Oh, and then they got some sippy sips in there those yo sippy sips Like what the fuck are you talking about? There's some beers in the fridge sippy sips sippy sips obviously like oh and she pulled one out like oh the beer Do you want to have a beer? Oh, yeah true player This is a white girl with like white girl. Yeah the whole level

So can I tell you what I love most about that cool guy? Everything is just the rambling not like how do people ramble nonsense that long he wants to see himself Like he loves it. Oh, he's so narcissistic, but he's like I got nothing to say So i'm just gonna say rambling a bunch of like nonsense Drink responsibly, you know If you're parking downhill make sure to turn your wheel into the curb Dead ass you gotta turn that wheel into the curb But if you park it uphill you turn that shit away dead ass fam

That ass fam for real you park it uphill. It's the it's the literal actual opposite of the way you do downhill You get a I seen a runaway car up in here. I seen a runaway car dead ass That shit is no joke for real fam like basing that and I know for real that it's fucking dead ass crazy when that runaway car goes down dude Next three videos I actually think you're saying more than he does You're actually giving valuable information. No if he was saying the people like, you know, this dude's actually saying some shit I don't know

His would be more like if you see a stop sign, you gotta stop They know such half playing you can't just keep rolling. You gotta stop st op stop What the fuck is this guy talking about? You want to be a buddy here? Dead ass though But here but red light you stop There you go. Even if you're kalala blind Even if you're even if you're kalala blind You don't matter if you're kalala blind. You gotta still stop because the bomb is the stop the top is the grrr

Damn He's a fucking you gotta stop. That's got you gotta stop I feel good. I feel happy for all the women of utah, but that's an option He's in utah is what he's saying, but he's an italian boy. He's the best looking italian boy stay Wait play more i'm intrigued. I think that's it. That's nobody can I see him talk again? I feel like oh boy He's so stupid. I'm really taking what you say. I gotta find all the guys guys instagram This is the best

It's hot outside, you know You gotta not be hot drink responsibly You know take your uvers. You know take your you know caps on because you know, it's all about drinking responsibly You know, you know, take your uvers. Take your caps. Do not drink and drive this weekend. Okay, don't do it It's bad. I won't do it anyways. We are party Got me a coat on and we you know, we doing it. I'm over there, baby. Let's do it You know 2020 is right around the corner Not but it's

That's an empty cup. That's definitely an empty cup. It also went from like I love the uh, the non-secret like how it went from like you should you should drink responsibly You should get your uvers and then it was we up out of here 2020s around the corner And then it went to like party stuff. I mean this is wait. This might be like one of the stages of schizophrenia We're not like a sequitur Yeah, it's like what does it has nothing to do with anything and the space mountain and jump flowers Deadass though Ringling a ding dong tickly doobie doobie

Snack a like a licky picky tookie towel Snick a doodle poo poo. Hey, hey, snick a doodle poo poo pie You ever been downtown on the clickety-clack doobie do? There's a guy out there dead ass That's uh, that's tony just in case you're told I left it and I like how he flashes his watch Yeah, do you think it's a do you think it's a watch flash versus like i'm drinking and having fun flash You mean you think that's he's not being deliberately showing you his his eyes or whatever it's called. Yeah, he's got some Let me I didn't even notice it. I'm gonna guess is it an oversized watch? Yeah

Is it a 50 millimeter? Is it can you scroll just to whenever the watch appears? No, he likes to show the watch And the gold chains a little longer You're cracking no same no game, baby for you know It was in the other but you gotta realize for you know, no same You're cracking a couple curtains I've already went through a you know a 12 pack, but we are out of here. I'm about to go give me another sixer You know what i'm saying? It is the weekend. That's eight. There you go. Yeah, there it is. He's flashing the watch

That is definitely what is it? Well, it's his daddy's watch for sure. It's too big for that wrist Is it a Rolex is it supposed to be like I can't see it from here, but the answer is no I want to see daddy in the background daddy my daddy is telling me my daddy put me my daddy my daddy Let me sit by the pool today My daddy let me drink from the pool on my belly My daddy let me drink straight from the pool water today. Uh-huh. That's the truest notion of ever love is being Dead ass y'all I'll get on my belly and drink a sippy sip out that cold pool water I'd have had 12 sippy sips today y'all, but I'd be responsible take him over

Oh, you know what we should show He's a 12 or he's gonna get a sixer get Some tiktoks from christina to show johnny Are you on tiktok? I think I need to be You know about it. I know about it a little bit Well, there's a really special thing that can happen Which is if you like a certain type of much like instagram right or you know If you engage with certain audiences, then the algorithm will feed you what you've been liking and christina is really neat

Because she likes certain types of tiktok videos and then she is sent basically by the algorithm these videos They're simple put it that way simple. I think I know what that word means This video is just for hufflepuff. So if you're not a hufflepuff, then please keep scrolling Okay, so I told you motherfuckers you need to at least talk the hot cocoa when you're done with it I can't deal with the bullshit in the school. Okay What is that? Well, this is a better representation right here This is kind of what I wanted you to see tiktok is singing mainly right a lot There's a lot of music so but you can also you can use it for stuff like this spoken word

This is a cool one. Oh, I thought it was the whole thing was you sing along or do a scene so movie Yes, people do that. Generally. That's the normal algorithm. I take a deep dive I like to go where no man has gone before I like to pie in the air video that you're about to watch Is indicative of the type of stuff that this is what I'm into go ahead I have to fucking do this Hi guys, I'm bad arena But please don't ever fucking call me that when you talk with me Please call me arena if you have to if you couldn't tell I'm a 20 year old vampire

Just look at the fucking bad ears on my head And one thing to definitely know about me is do not ever fucking piss me off That's the wrong thing to do Would you feel like first of all, that's it Um, don't you feel like you've worked with someone like that? You know what I mean? I feel like this chick's cut my hair. Yeah I thought I've seen people what clearly where she is right now That is the type of a wood paneling that is in a temporary like a shed like a trailer type of thing

Like a thing where they have an office for the one of these Like a mobile off Yes She hits the notes of here's my name. Don't ever call me that. Yeah Here's my name though, but don't call me my name And then I feel like there's a certain type of white trash that that says, um The the last thing you ever want to do is piss me off. Yeah, like that's a bad thing to do Here's the thing first you gotta know you stay on my good side. It's gonna be okay. Yeah, there's a lot of that

But if you cross me, yeah, it's gonna be trouble. Yeah Yeah, so there's this one popular thing on tiktok where it's like they act out a thing from a movie I guess and it's like if you stand next to me, you're my brother You stand behind me your soldier. You stand in my way. You're back to get your shit fucked up Like that's a I don't know, but it's a popular tiktok thing too. Like a lot of white trashers love It feels like it could be from a thousand movies. Yeah. Yeah, or tens of thousands of white trash To say it over and over. I like that. It's not regional that type of white Happens all over the country everywhere. I mean, that's it's just Minnesota shit even. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're everywhere

Just waiting for my man Just waiting for my lunch. I ordered a buffalo burger. Yep game buffalo burger. Okay So can you want to get here? Okay. Bye. Oh, no, this is It's getting better, right? This is rough Okay, story time. I'm not a racist just because I say the n word in a video if it's there. I'm going to say it I'm going to mad it. I'm going to say I also have black cousins I have black friends and my brother's girlfriend is half black. I'm not a racist This feels like someone from Bulgaria. Um any is she a racist?

I have so much third party I Know she has a black cousin. So she's there you go. That's all you need Because one of my dad's friends had his sister. She knows a guy. He's black You can't be a racist. It's not possible. I mean, how could anything be, you know, if you know somebody All right, this guy's my favorite though. So this guy does a lot of various act outs He's his whole feed is this He said a few guys. I met this guy before

man T, let me let me see that one Oh, you'll be good. We can they'll heal up in the next day or so. Um, we can't leave until this system goes away though so Yeah He likes to act out war scenarios So every single one he'll do like he did this one with like a laser last night that I thought was pretty cool You thought that was pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah, he finds like now. He's moved into like effects on the video

So last night he just he worked with like a red laser and he did a scene with a red laser So ticked off the idea is you do this stuff for other people to because you want to see it Yeah, like you all you want to see it. Okay. And they like like it. Yeah, I like it. So what I do is I like You can also leave comments. Oh, yeah, but I don't do that unless it's encouraging I don't believe in being a total douchebag like I feel like I'm in Iraq Hey, thank you, man Teen, let me let me see that one Mm-hmm

Oh, you'll be good. We can they'll heal up in the next day or so. Um, we can't leave until this sandstorm go is away though Oh sandstorm Oh, it was hot it was quite right It didn't pick up it was a steamer Are you trying to see if it picked up? It was it was a choir, right? EVP like from those hunters. Let's lose the mic. No, we're not losing the fart mic You're just jealous because I do better on it than you do. Why don't you step up your fart mic game?

I mean that was pitiful. At least I had a fart today Let's ask the fart mic twitter guy how many times you've been up to bat At least I show up I go to bat cigarette. What are you doing for the team? Let's see the next video This is it. This is my personal hello. This is captain morsell. My sister went down I'm going down to the mountain. They say my sister said everybody. I'll be back I need to back up I'll see you later. Bye gotta gotta say my sister bye. This is captain morsell. Bye. Bye Okay, you get it. I get it. I feel like he's setting the scene there really well

He's got the she look at it. Well, uh, I guess I'm done Yeah What's please do not go outside yet Right to the sun go down Then you go outside to the park ride your bike with your family But please stay in the house for a while. It's very hot. I'm going home. Take a shower and have a glass of water I'm going to rest talk to you later. Bye. That's good advice. Oh What's up ladies and gentlemen?

So here's a piece of advice if you are unemployed or about to be unemployed make sure that you buy Multivitamins trust me this one ladies and gentlemen It's going to help you on the long run because the reason why is because if you're unemployed and you don't have any money coming into your bank account Trust me. You need multivitamins. You have to you do. It'll help you on the long run. It will help you. It looks fascinated It'll help you on the long run. Yeah, because now you have a job, but at least you have you have multivitamins. At least to your health I like I agree with them though. I think that's probably I've never heard someone say that before but I think that's That's because no one has ever said that before

That's one of the reasons why you've never picked up on that But it but it is sound advice It makes sense though. Yeah, true Hey guys, what's up? This is Bethany signing in to tiktok. What's going on? I'm over here at starbucks This is what I gotta say about duck and doughies coffee. It sucks McDonald's coffee Whoa, whoa, we don't agree with that statement in any way shape before McDonald's. We're huge fans of your coffee Burger King coffee. It sucks. That's what's up, but starbucks. It's 100 Lee

specifically Pacific oh my god, this is really good. Yeah, see this is like a feast like The knife and the bra the teeth The uh the tats on the titties 100. What did she even say it come on 100 Lee specifically That's the kind of thing where I could spend weeks working on a character I would never think to say it the wrong that way, right? Yeah, because reality is really fascinating more so than 100 Lee 100 Lee pacific 100 Lee pacific specifically I'm so upset. I've sent you a lot more updated

Well, give them some more recent one. They're a recent one that um, I've been texting you. I took tom off the feed Yeah, we had some new tiktoks today So oh, yeah, yeah, so but I mean johnny can see these he hasn't seen these. I'm excited to get into this now Yeah, I'm gonna start posting I'm gonna start posting I feel like because you're great at characters you could actually make a really successful tiktok profile What is a successful tiktok profile? Well, you saw a few what I mean you've seen them successful because you saw them or because Like no, I'll tell you something. So there's this one woman who goes she just does this over and over

She goes I heard you bitches looking for me Bitch here I go and she does it everywhere like she'll come out of the truck I'd be like I heard you bitches looking for me and then she'll pop out of a trash can Bitch here I go. I got an idea. She's got hundreds of thousands of followers now. You could do that for tiktok You could do that. Can we get your tiktok profile name to be reggae pemberton? That'd be a good one It could be I mean if I if it's not taken already It could be a pemberton out there But reggae pemberton reggae pemberton. I mean there's enough pembertons. You could practice your patois. I could

Dude so many characters. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get into that. I'll do the reggae pemberton Yeah, I had no idea. It's I mean the bar is obviously very low. Did you see about I'm jumping We don't have to pull it up right, but did you see did you see Trump when uh when his chief of staff coughed? No, he was like get the fuck out of here. Are you serious? This is the best thing I've ever seen. Yeah, pretty great. I gotta see it now. You're crying. All right first first. Let's let's watch this Okay, let's watch this I don't know PSA

Please stop using the fucking audio contact if you don't know who ice p is and you've never fucking It's very offensive to me as a leg and the other lozha legs out there. I'm pretty sure of it I see you love your makeup, but not that you don't know the words Okay Is that the icp thing? Yeah. Hello. You don't know the juggalette. She's a let okay I got like if you don't know the words stupid. You're not legit. Maybe stop wearing the makeup too, you know Why does she have eyebrows? That's my question. Yeah, those should be shaved shave that shit Can I may I may I say something embarrassing when I was goth?

I was like that chick where I'd be like Don't even know the words any of the real like cure songs about how songs the person's a weekender Like I would call out other like goth girls for not being goth enough. I swear to god. Yeah, my wife She's a disneyland goth. Is that right? Yeah, those are kind of dope though. What's a disneyland goth? You know like you grew up in southern california Yeah, you go with goth love the cure to peshmo, but you go to disneyland all the goddamn time. Yeah So it's like this sort of southern california You don't have to wear black. I mean she went through her serious black face. Not serious black the character, but very serious

black face Wearing black. She didn't actually date them though. You're date goth guys. Oh, they meant black. Oh I'll just let that stand there used to be um a goth club I believe that either knotsbury form or disneyland in the late 80s a goth club like a night club I like once every while and all the goths would go. It's a bad day. Pretty rad. Oh, yeah, that's for goths. Yeah Yeah, she grew up here though. So yeah, she grew up in so far Yeah, we're I wonder oh, she's younger than me probably we have a different But I was totally like that girl where I was like, you don't even know about house. You don't even know

Oh, yeah, there's definitely a lot of Derision yeah liking good music. Yeah, I was such a day. That's all you've got. Yeah. Yeah, but this guy's pretty rad too What's this one again? I feel like I remember him. Um, this one's about witchcraft And there's a whole other lane about witchcraft What was It's right here is a selenite charging plate This little friend of mine is a selenite palmstone and this is a selenite wand that works with your chakras Selenite is great

It never needs cleansing or charging and anything you place on or near it gets cleansed and charged your lazy quick witch. No, we're good so What was wasn't there one from earlier today? Wasn't today's a different list Like didn't you pull those up? Because I was I forgot what what we actually watched and then there's there's some where they go witch check And then they show you their witchy items like their candles. I mean, I have not seen this lane exist anywhere else Witch check. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So this was from today. This is like this is leno. He's in character

Holy shit. Yeah, it's amazing. Oh looks bad. Um, yes. I'm orange. I love it So I'm still trying to bully me because I love being orange I love it I just like it. It's so silly. Does your wife ever do the slut? um It's real popular like the massive The clumped. Yeah, does my wife do that? You know, I mean just ever to I mean I might request that I should request like yeah, baby. Can you put some of those crazy person?

Do you think she would be like what's up with you or you think she was so crazy? She might be a little bit both. I mean she has gotten Eyelashes before but not the look the clumpy slutty. Look what that's like a try. You know about travelers, right? Yes gypsies. I love that that to me is That's like the The best you can be is a person It's like the lottery of being a person is being oh, oh i'm a traveler. Yeah So i'm a traveler. I've got this 700 pound dress

The rom and I like the romany shale gypsies. I'm a romany shale Everything's gonna be glittery and bigger and fuck everybody else's wedding. Wait, what is that one? Romney shale, that's the my big fat gypsy wedding Those are like the west virginia. Yeah, I've watched it. Oh the virginia ones. Okay. Yeah, those are real trash You gotta be a piece of shit to get involved in that We have to be have to be so Damn And you start you you get married at like 15 and your pride is that you keep your place clean

You're like, yeah, I cleaned all the windows. I swept and I vacuumed and there's no one's got a cleaner trailer than me Well, it's all you got. Yeah, it's all you got. So you gotta know It is a fucking worst No, no, no, let's go back to the cleaning because you're right. There's gypsy women. Yeah, they don't care about dentistry Diet exercise I got clean place Yeah, that's it and then the guys are like I work I lay fucking asphalt and I do it like 16 hours a day and they're so proud

How good they are. They're so good at shoveling shoveling shit And like, oh, yeah, I've got six kids. You should see how clean our place is Clean and these women these gypsies have these big long nails the manicure and then they're scrubbing with the their nails over the sponge That's a thing. That's a thing. It's like, yeah, you learn to do stuff with the nails. Oh, that's a whole That's a whole it's a whole race of hindrance. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's definitely one we could do without If we are being honest If I can gypsies can go How dare you

They probably would be first in line for like, okay, we need a 700 people to die today for this special bomb. Yep Oh, get on that David. Yes. Oh, fucking god. I said it We can shove them onto that one But this so I've had a makeup artist put fake eyelashes on me for various tape It's horrible different scenes you're shooting different scenes different guys boy girl boy girl And I'm telling you man, you can't even see out of them all day. It feels like you've got something on I put them on I hate it. It's terrible. I did well. I did a uh a character. You're supposed to do the Oh, so bad. I do a reanimated jump in a ramsey character. No, I love it. Yeah

It's uh, I have a post on instagram I had to take off the tag because I got so many people Comments in on I'd be like take this down. This is terrible. This is so bad. You know that instagram removed Some they've they've enough people flagged Um, somebody made a video of me in the asian garage, you know So they they just put like an effect. So, you know when the cars pulling into the garage They made it seem like I was in the driver's seat facing forward And you see my face my eyes in the rear view and I'm like

And then it crashes and they took it down instagram instagram took it down. Why copyright or no They said that it incited like they're violated their terms. Why can't they just put like that celebrates violence Put the uh, what's it called the adult content thing on it? I guess there's a lot of pussies that follow me a lot of pussies They haven't taken down my jump in any though all these people try to get down and it doesn't violate anything really technically Yeah, I mean and you these cry babies. What's the next one of these fucking r-words? What was next on this? What's the armor I'm just kidding. I know I was playing. Yeah, he's playing around. Okay. I want to

This is that's real This is a real person, but he's This is This looks like a person this is like a squidbilly I know well, I also follow him now. So I get all of his vids He was calling out a pedophile on on tiktok the other day There's nothing that's the thing you do if you're this guy the last place you can punch down his is a pedophile What do you think's going on with this guy? I mean

I think you know already. Okay. I want to something to you guys What is this man? This is like my friends and I'm meeting don't have a bucket this if you have a bucket this then you would Basically have regrets if you die when you die. I'm not dying yet. Oh my god You look like you're dying though That's his last tiktok, babe Oh god dammit this one is fucking terrible. What is going on here? This is fucking me tortured right now. I hate this one. What is this?

I don't want to watch this one. This is that new country road song. What's that old country town? What is that? Gonna suck my dick going along around on the old country town Isn't that the hit song? I don't fucking believe her that she'd never heard that song. She never heard you know the song I'm talking about our old town road. OTR By Lil Annex. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What are the words I'm gonna drive my horses an old town road. There you go. You're doing it too accurately. We'll get flashed Yeah, yeah, that's it. Gotta make my tiktok

Bring down my boy. Gotta make my tiktok gotta be an artwork I'll tell you which rabbit hole I refuse to go down with you guys There is an amputee segment How are you above that? I think amputees actually here's why I think I look at this bad You don't want to make fun of them. You know people get down with the people who are like, oh, I want to fuck the amputee so bad Yeah, yeah, yeah an amputee. You never don't get late. Really? I think so them and little people. All right. Well, I think it's like Look out for my amputee vids the blue band are coming your way

Yeah, what's this big tits right here? Oh Look at the size of those fucking things. Holy shit. Those are some funky dunkers, man Now that's another thing on tiktok a lot of women with enormous large breasts don't wear bras It is actually on my stories feed because there's music I'll play those on my insta stories and there's a lot of brawless huge tits on there. That's what tiktok means Check out those tiktoks, baby. Oh some real clock stoppers. I'm gonna use that from now on, man I've got a thousand names for breasts. Oh, yeah, really. Oh, yeah

I did this scene and they got cut from that movie action point But I I just stand there for like 10 minutes and just think about like, oh, check out the funky dunkers on her Check out those double bad boys Check out those flipping rippers Check out those car crashers Flipping rippers. I mean, right Look at the tiktoks Tiktoks

It's just a foreign country We hope so That's what I don't understand. I'm going to wear my bra. I can't Oh So that wasn't her making the sound no, that's her. I think I got a sequence here a delay. Oh, okay. Is that her? No I'm not I'm not a hundred percent sure. I feel like that might be the beginning of crazy train No Ozzy's way better than that. Yeah, I was gonna say how dare you

Talking about Ozzy, man No, bro, this chick's just that's her real voice That's her talent buddy. Why are you taking it away from her? Yeah, tell me that's the last one, please This is real look up for me. What do you call it? I'm really uh, here I go The bitch here I go. She works at mcdonald's too fine company I would describe this as a carnival of horrors Actually, so I would describe this as a what sorry a carnival of horrors. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty scary Will you show them that car that wreck car thing?

Um, so this is you know, this is the uh This is the guy that's pissed, right? He's super pissed enough. Mm-hmm. And he's pissed about Right, so this guy he wrecked his car Yeah, um, and then as the tow truck is coming to tow it away pretty much to the junkyard The guy that who's it who looks like a child like a 17 18 year old dude is like, dude, you're fucking up my car More than you need to So we're going drugs or mental illness on this one

Uh, what's part of the country incident? It's an english-speaking country. It's uh, it's america. I think right what what state? I was real specific Well, we'll see Well dependent on the state. I think florida is prone to drugs more than mental illness Okay, we're just gonna jump right into it. I would say cattle. I don't know. I feel like well, we can't we see a hand Now This was wedged in my tire on one of the turns you took Dude, are you being serious? I'm being fucking serious. Listen. Oh, I promise you

Not a good move Put your hand up. Put your hand up Whoa A bit young dude. Yeah, like he's and then you could tell us a man hand He's he's I'm waiting for the ha ha part. I'm not sure what's funny about You don't want I promise you don't want it. I promise you don't want it, man Listen, I'm gonna walk away from him. Listen. Don't pull up your fist at me, dude I promise you put your hand up. I promise you don't want it. You don't know what you wrecked your car, dude

And you fucking hold it. I had nothing to do with you wrecking your car It's this this is the the key thing to me is always this the Yeah, it's scary the stretch neck with the side look. Yeah, that means Hmm I kind of see what he's saying, but he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about You know, I think he's saying that like When the tow truck pulls that car the parts that are now hanging off of the car are being drug against the concrete Which is like

Yeah Yeah, but all that shit's gone. It's collateral damage. That's what happens if you wreck it He's like you're fucking my car up Your car's in pieces man. That's all he has. He's 16. Yeah. Yeah You know, that's his pride and joy probably disrespecting his car Yeah, but he fucking he did ball up his fist. Yo, he did spit too. He saw spit come out And mom's like josh Josh

She's seeing this shit happen. Oh, yeah, she's like josh Oh my This was wedged in my tire on one of the turns you took Dude, are you being serious? I'm being fucking serious. Listen. Oh, I promise you I Whoa, it's like an angry dog. Like, you know when a dog's gonna bite you that's the kind of shit they do It's bold though. I kind of think it's like it's I always thought those kids were real crazy When they're in high school the kids in high school and like well would would bow up on a grown man. Oh, yeah

Fuck man, this dude's got like he's definitely got extra shit going on. The chicken is touching the mashed potatoes What the fuck it's touching the potatoes Why is the sandwich touching the cheese? Do you think he's been leo? This kid. No, he's just juiced up on testosterone. I would say he's that's his pride and joy A 16 year old boy's car is everything. Yeah, and he's just pumped full of Hormones and he probably hasn't milked his dick today And he's all fired up, right? Do you remember how Tom gets when he doesn't ejaculate for 48 hours? He starts screaming

How do you know if he hasn't if he hasn't I can tell okay, cuz he'll get If you're gonna fucking cough get out of the room He gets angry about stuff that normally like Trash I gotta take the trash out Fucking dishes everywhere like stuff that he normally wouldn't engage He gets irritated by it. I'm like, oh, you have to ejaculate. You got it. Yeah, you got a spray Yeah Keep the demons away. It's true. It's so true. All right. So that would be that guy the guy's like, uh

Get ass yo, you gotta I'll just spend spraying 12 times. All right here. No, no, no lie. No lie. We out of here. You gotta spray We out of here Let's um I like that he drinks his daddy let him drink I can't do the voice Yo daddy, let me drink my little sippy sip pool water today. Yo, oh dead ass. Yo Yo, dead ass daddy. Let me drink another pool of water daddy feeling generous

Oh, let me do a sucky suck on that big old dicky guy. Oh, I suck upon my daddy dick every doing now What's up? My bowtuck would you would you what was it? Would you rather your mom? Uh-oh gives you a head but you have to But she she makes eye contact you have to look at her doing it or and you have to talk about it after a lunch Don't okay yet. So this is a breakfast blowjob That's even worse. It's first thing in the morning. It's terrible

Maybe it's a lot so bad because you have to go to dinner's first thing. So you're kind of Or you give your dad a blowjob Right eye contact and you have to go for lunch after and discuss what you liked what you didn't like What do you think see your technique If I make a decision on this it is as bad as doing either of the things themselves. Yeah No, it's not like it is. It's like a thing where I have to evaluate like to make a decision Okay pros and cons. Yeah, it's It's a terrible hole to dive into. Well, let's go through your logic, johnny

I don't want to go. That's what I don't want to do I don't want to throw my logic. Hey, do you want the free t-shirt or not invitation only with that free t-shirt? Come on, man. Oh your dad, you know what I'd like to do is someone to take t-shirts away from me But wait, is one of the worst you think or you think they're just equally as bad I would say traditionally and like sort of like a greek tragedy sense. I think Blowing your mom Having your mom give you a blowjob is not as bad It's not as bad. Yeah

Just because it's like fits into the whole edipal model kind of thing So there's kind of a little bit of uh What he called not a not a Uh a track like a well a well worn path. It's not a path, but there is Somewhat of a path there and what about if it were blow your dad or eat your mom out? I think that's the same thing It's the same thing because it's like if you're gonna it's the same thing as before It's still edipal if you're doing something with your mom, but it's but it's still not an easy answer, right?

That's what I that's what I let off with for the record. I did lead off with I this is not any It's not something I want to think about even not someone to think about it let alone Answer because it requires me to think what if I switch something up though What if for your dad all you have to do is lick his balls? Oh, you don't have to actually put it just give him a lick It's a good deal. You got to give him a lick and then he's got to finish on you But well, so you didn't say that. No, I know but i'm saying wait wait now. Hold on tom

You're telling me johnny has to just Give a quick no no no no no no you keep you baste them the whole time But he's stroking it so you don't have to do that part of it But he needs to feel the tongue, but you're watching your dad masterpiece. Yeah, and he finishes on you which is Do you guys uh you guys work for the cia by any chance? Is this like a new mk ultra thing this is Do you want to join black water or not join? I thought that was uh not government affiliated. It's not Oh, it is, huh?

Or you got a munch munch munch on mom I'm gonna stick him with my guns here the edible guns See that you're doing mom just because there's a word for it. So I felt yeah, it's always going to be a thing where Right, there's nothing where you want to fuck your dad And and Freudian psychology where a guy wants. I know there's oh there might be Electra where you're the guy think the girl wants to fuck daddy, but maybe there's no gay dad thing There's gotta be there's gotta be would you do this would you fuck your dad? As he fucked your mom. Oh, wow. So fuck my dad. Yeah, it says he's fucking my mom

It's like I'm torch. I'm dying right now, but there's all the way Oh here is laughing right now. It's laughing. I'm just like there's I just I just I just thought about something I've never thought about before I literally have never thought about that before that's what I tell you. There's no Uncomfortable everything's uncomfortable now There's no alternative. I'm just saying would you do it what I what do you mean? There's no alternative Then it's like I'm not I'm just saying would you do that? What I do

Is for the July You're kind of bored. Can we backtrack with all this for the July? Yeah, it's off with July. Oh, then that case all dad Yeah, yeah, 100% dad because that's like a for the July thing in my house Oh, that's okay. You know that represents the firework the firework represents the the penis you get it You get the balls or the wick you light the wick with your tongue and then daddy blows His spray boy America America Do you know what I've never thought of before and my life is this exact not the Mother daddy stuff, but the fact that a guy could butt fuck another guy. Who's fucking a girl at the same time

There's a lot of videos like that. I've never seen this before. I've never even thought of it It's called cool guy videos. Cool. It's a whole genre. What lane is this? I've never seen this. I'm guessing it's not I'd like to see it. This is like a swing. That's a swinger's thing. Wait, it's gotta be How about a guy butt fucking another guy butt fucking another guy butt fucking like a like a butt fuck shade? I'm assuming it's out there. I've never even Oh, that's what they call a vacation Four guys fucking like a human centipede of a guy in the front butt fucks. Yeah It's like all palm springs ring around the rosy

Now, where did how do you describe the guy? Who is He's he's getting a he's got a dick in his butt But he happens to be In that woman in the front. The end of the chain. Is he simply by or is he just all right adventurous? He's by he's by he's by so the guys are the the head of the dragon basically the head of the dragon The head of the dragon he's got his dick in a pussy But he's got his butt is filled up with a dick and then all the butts behind him have dicks in them

Yeah, so he's feeling that he's feeling all that chi energy. Yeah, it's a real like a wait There's a lot of chi energy, but then they don't have to move at the same time, right? Otherwise, it's a cacophony of or maybe it's like a dude like a you know how like a snake like constricts and stretches So it's kind of a thing where I'm trying to think how to describe it. It's the way like a like a like a worm moves Yeah, I know you're talking about and they they inch and they're kind of like a wave Can't you hear that like that hawaiian fight song in your mind as you picture that like Right, yeah, this is great

Samua Samua Hawaii Wait, so I before we go first of all, it's john johnny pemberton dot dog. He's on tour um, you can see him At the hideout in chicago with the underground collaborative in milwaukee. He's doing all clare minneapolis to moin brooklyn And fill her up delphia

Those are all that johnny pemberton dot dog By website ever youtube.com slash just my nipples. There you go. Yeah Um, that's real. That's real. That's real. Yeah, it's a hundred percent real That's showing him the the trump thing because it's so funny This is he was doing an interview with george stephenophilus in his in his office And uh, he's And by the way the person who coughed just so you know because I already said it up for you is his chief of staff Mulvaney

They're after my financial statement the senate they'd like to get my financial statement at some point. I hope they get it You're gonna turn it over. No at some point I might but at some point I hope they get it because it's a it's a fantastic financial statement It's a fantastic financial statement, and let's do that over. He's coughing in the middle of my answer Yeah, okay. I don't like that. You know, I'm your chief of staff if you're gonna cough, please leave the room Great, I love it You know he goes I like when he goes I don't like that. I don't like that at all You're gonna cough leave the room

I agree though. It's rude as shit. Yeah. Yeah, I know pushing more than once at least go like My favorite Um, what's a fantastic financial statement? He always uses these same superlatives for everything What is that even? It doesn't even mean anything a fantastic financial statement Just it means nothing. It means it probably is printed on some really good paper Using like a great typeface. It's like yeah, it's we have fantastic year. It's everything's fantastic. It's amazing millions and billions It's gonna be delivered inside of some tits some fantastic tits these fantastic tits

um Some tiktoks, right? Um, some of those tiktoks I heard a guy yesterday ask at the cell phone store Overheard him ask the guy who worked there. Is there a discount for trump supporters? Oh boy And the guy who was helped me we both like shared this look and he was like every day Really? I was like, what the fuck that doesn't make any sense somebody asked that at the people asked for discounts Because they're a trump supporter at the cell phone. Yeah Why would you get it? What? I think that even ended your mind. No sense at all, but he's like

Yeah, this is just normal that dude should at least try once be like, yeah, you know 40% off Oh, cool. Yeah, that has to work somewhere. I must work somewhere. That must be why he's doing it. I might start doing that Yeah, just to see what's your what's your discount? Well, I don't know. I'm just gonna start asking Okay, because somebody who was saying that they asked about the um Somebody was saying they asked about a pregnancy discount. That makes sense. Yeah. No, we're that's the thing we were Pitching. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but he said that that that actually is what his Yeah, baby mama did that one of our friends was saying that um that when she was his wife was pregnant That she was like, uh, is there a pregnancy discount and people were like, yeah

But like where they're like at a buffet everywhere restaurants oil changes, uh haircuts And that people would just go 15% off is that good? Wow, they would just give it up. I gotta find out what my version of this. Yeah That's pretty good. So one ball. I don't have Oh, that's right. You have both balls. You have both balls. Oh, they're not gonna check They're gonna you had um, what do you have? No, colon. I can say is there no colon discount? That's what you don't have a colon Can you still put things in there in my ass? Yeah I mean like what what do you want to put in your ass? Well, like a guy butt fucking you but fucking another guy I mean, can you put keys in there or can you put you know?

Are you putting keys in there? You shouldn't be putting can you put a thumb in there? Uh, I could put a thumb in there. I think yeah Yeah, I still have a rectum Sort of it's not like You know, you know what we don't just chocolate still come out Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's definitely it's chocolate mousse. Yeah It's not um You know, it's it's better better. Can we put a golf ball in there?

Golf ball is bad because the golf ball has that shape where It might get stuck. Oh, that sounds yeah And you gotta you know how they get that shit out in the emergency room No, they snake around a hose they snake it around the object and they apply reverse pressure to pop it out How do they play a reverse pressure? You know, they blow through a tube like this opposite of a vacuum. So instead of Sucking they push it out basically. So they they snake it around I know this because my dad has told me how this is something that happens in the er all the time. Oh, yeah everything in people's asses

Well, I have a friend's sister that works in an er and she said that a lot of things in the butt They pull out a lot of stuff from people's butts There's got to be that moment of panic for everybody When you put something of significance in your ass and then you go this isn't coming out Especially it's like a light bulb, which means light bulbs. Yeah could break and yeah I've done that I've put bottles in there Put rocks really which direction you put bottling shoes

Not like a coke bottle. Oh, no, that feels good. I'm talking about like a two liter kind of two liter Should you go in the which direction you do I did I put the the the the mouth tip. Yeah up first But then I just went all the way on. Oh, so that's gonna be really hard to get out. It was yeah Well, but okay, how'd you get it out? Just friends friends. Yep like friends who like professional friends I feel like Jennifer Aniston You know Ross the actual cast of friends. Yeah the cast of friends. They helped me get it out. They're nice people They use like a hook. Mm-hmm. They put like you can this is what I would do I would drill a hole with a small drill

And then they yeah Oh, they they did do the reverse pressure. They did reverse pressure. You were right They didn't do a hook inside. I didn't do a fish. I had the plastic Hey, this fish hook might tear your asshole apart, but we're gonna try it But that is currently thinking because I really never can thought about putting stuff in my butt Yeah, but you're right. I mean it basically goes into your large intestine, right and it could go up and definitely No, it's gonna because there's there's a function the bowel is pushing stuff out. It does have that It's called up. I think it's called peristalsis is the

The undulating action of the bowel And that's gonna keep it kind of in between zones. I'm sure your dad has probably told you this I know that doctors say like you should Try to have anal sex a lot Yeah, it's good for you. Well, I wasn't the first talk my dad and I had really he was like he sat me down and it's like Look, you're gonna hear a lot of bullshit I'm a doctor. Look Dead ass you're gonna hear a lot of reference at school about this

We out here. We are when you're out here, you gotta have anal sex first and frequently And quickly and quickly and vigorously make it fast first fast and get them. Don't use lube. We love you. All right, so Johnny p. Dog Timberton.dog go see the tour Uh, thanks, Johnny. Thank you, Johnny If you've seen the video of the homeless family getting kicked to death, you know our next guest He is a great comedian and

the Host one of the hosts altered tates podcast. He's my dear friend. There are warrants out for him right now It is jeff tate Thanks for having me thanks for telling me about the war Welcome back our audience knows I try to do those as much as I can, you know He has a good intro. Yeah intro that kind of gets people go. I want to know more. Oh good. Good. Thank you Thank you. I have a very boring backstory. No, you have a great backstory Well, it was pretty boring until I kicked at homeless family today

Or got kicked to death. I don't know which one I look more like in the video It would be so crazy as if you had done that and people saw the footage and they're like, yeah He's funny. Yeah, he's very funny He's a good guy Well, our audience knows you from the silver lake days Uh, you lived on our couch for a week a week And we lived next door to a 7-eleven back then and the only thing you ate that whole time was hot dogs and gatorade And then I don't know if that's exactly the only but yeah, I mean essentially that is my yeah

Let's be real I would be clear about zoo and they put and I was in a cage and they had the list of things I would eat It would hot dogs and gatorade would be on that list. They'll be on that list. Yeah, and to be clear You didn't kill a family. No, but you do eat hot dogs and gatorade I do eat hot dogs and gatorade and I have I have I've never gotten all the way to the to death part Right. I've kicked a family around before. Yeah, but they they just to show the rest of the group who was in charge Yeah, yeah, right, but I mean like the gatorade like when you came on the bus with me I had them stock gatorade for you. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. I noticed I wasn't the only one dipping into that gatorade

either once Once you find that they're at arm's length you you tend to try them. Yeah You your flavor was red if I'm right back then I mean, I don't know on the bus though. You had the Are you I don't know if you was per your orders like the ice glacier thing. No, that was just what comes in the The the pack that has those that are small enough for that fridge Dude, when you're when you after you like your little little ways into an edible or something or smoke a little bit And then someone hands you one of those

It's kind of a perfect place to be. Yeah. Why do you think I do it? Of course not for health No, it's more of a self-care thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really into mental health. Oh, yeah But not physical health at all Uh-huh. I'll believe you. I indulge my I like if you go up to like like I indulge every like Oh, I don't feel like being here kind of thing. I got just leave That's great anything like I don't it's nice. There's only like maybe four like if I don't think the pants are comfortable I will just go buy new pants. Yeah throw these pants away. I love this

Yeah, no, I feel like I'm embarking on a similar journey I I just put a coffee maker in our bathroom because I don't want to wait to have my coffee in the morning I want to go brush my teeth and have coffee. You know what? You're just living your best life Is what they say nowadays you want to brush your teeth and have coffee. It's right there. It's in my bathroom Oh my god. Yeah coffee station I got everything there I can drink coffee take it down right away and get on with my my day I mean some mornings that first cup of coffee barely gives you enough time. I know

I love this man. It is a game changer. Like you wake up to your like, you know, I mean not even Get everything together go downstairs. It's just coffee first thing. It's just fucking amazing You can't even go downstairs. You can't go downstairs, man What do you drink first thing in the morning? Gatorade whatever Yeah, that's what I was gonna say whatever and then your poop comes later though You don't poop immediately. Um, I mean sometimes it all depends. This this right away coffee Makes this shit come out. Well, you got stuff to do Yeah, like during the day, I don't have to I can I can take my time

We would uh, because you know, we had we had like gross buses together and uh, you can't poop on them I know we've talked about this on the show. They don't we would have to like figure out, you know Places to stop and we should we should at target. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, but there's multiple stalls in the target I like the I like the Barnes and Noble. Yeah, that was always your call. That's a good one Yeah, but they usually only now because I've worked at a bookstore Um, there's usually only one bathroom at Barnes and Noble from if I recall Yeah, but it's in the back on the top on the second floor if there's a second floor It's probably up there. Right people are rarely in there. It's like people don't go into that bathroom

It's a good point. Yeah, it's a safe haven safe haven now. I don't go to gas station once that's Terrible no no no no no no no for sure. There was a rumor going around That you were the one that filmed this. Is this you? This is a video that seriously do you need to be doing this? What are you doing? What are you doing? Hello, what are you doing? What are you doing? There's people there's little kids around here. Go away lady

There's so much going on that person is missing a leg. Yes And apparently trying to jump start their butthole with one of those with like a bike lock a bike handle Yeah, like it's like like trying to get in there like a ketchup bottle, but it feels the shame to cover their face Yeah Why cover the such a bold move to be like spread eagle asshole out handle up the ass Playing with your dick and balls, but you're like, no Don't look at me like and this this guy thinks that his face is his most identifiable feature Unbelievable bro. You're missing a leg and there's a bike lock coming out of your butthole

You could have two heads and that wouldn't make the top five things about you Oh my god, that's so true But did you film this No, did you that's not that's not my voice. I didn't know I was um I was also filming. I just didn't film this one. Can you say get out of here lady go away lady go away lady go away lady Yeah Sounds like go away lady Little help or go away. Do you have a smaller bike lock?

Go away lady go away lady. Yeah, that guy just wants you to go away Why can't he just masturbate on the side of the sidewalk like everyone else? Oh, that's what he's doing. Yes. Yeah What do you think is going on? I thought he was trying to jump start his like like with a new ketchup bottle when you got to get in there with a I don't think see the butter knife. I think if the chinese are allowed to shit on the side of the road, then the chinese are allowed To shit on the side of the road. That's in india, babe. No, no, no, it's in china too free shitting And also indoors they've been shitting indoors. We discussed it at length yesterday. It's a real problem in china Yeah, or like what'll happen is if you're sometimes indoors, they'll go to in hong kong or something

You'll walk through a mall or a store and there'll just be a pile of shit there. Yeah, that's a mainland chinese person. Yes Who's talking about this on joe rogan? Yes Do a google search for it. I swear you think i'm kidding right and if anything comes up that isn't yesterday's joe rogan We looked at extensively at this and and arie was talking about how when he was there It was explained to him over and over how they're like you see human shit. It's a mainlander. They fucking shit anywhere Geez, wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on. So in a mall like You can just be walking past the forever 21 and you'll see a big pile of shit. Yes Yes, so people are just doing it. They're doing it in the middle of the day. Yes. Look, man

It's not because there's not public toilets. Is that why I don't I think it's I not enough I don't know what the real reason is. I think it's part of it is you have over a billion people you have a lot of them from rural parts and They just do shit anywhere. So then when they go to a city or whatever, you know, they It's not like the ceo of the company is doing that. You don't think but I think some of the You know some of the people from the outskirts are doing it. Have you guys uh, have you guys ever had chinese food? Yeah Not a lot a lot of warning. There's it's not a long fuse between when you're like, oh, I'm I oh, no

It's happening They said by the way, they said at disneyland, uh, china. They had to put up signs Obviously in chinese I wish I knew what that looked like. I know what kind of coffee table drawing Oh, man, how do you get away? Is that the sign? Is that the sign? Don't shit here. It's the fat one. But my question is how do you get away with it? Don't people walk past you? Why don't you shine? Well, I think there's probably a lot of people there that go like right?

Have you ever honestly have you ever tried to pick one chinese person out of a crowd of chinese people? Look what that says on that sign there when you need to go just hop on over to the nearest toilet Use the toilet here. Yeah Use the toilet. Welcome to disneyland. Enjoy our toilets and rides Stop shooting on our rides Jesus If you're gonna shit Shit at six flags

I can't I can't think of something that would make me more nervous Like if you if you were like, we're seeing a try to shit at disneyland on the ground on main street Like I don't know if I could let's do it on a small world But what if you what if you've had nothing but chinese food for a couple days? It's so spicy so spicy space mountain He's so hard to shit. I'll make it a wild ride Oh The long flume

I was gonna try to make it into a joke, but I don't think I had time. I just wanted to say it. Yeah How much for me to pay you to shit at disneyland now on the ground? Yeah Wait, are you asking like are you also providing the ticket to disneyland because if you'll take me to disneyland I'll just shit for free. I'll shit for a ticket really for a disney ticket Well, what I'll do is I'll probably shit in a bag Before I go. No, you can't do that. You gotta pop a squat. Oh, no, I'm gonna pop and you're not allowed to wipe No, no, that's why it's gonna be at the bag because I don't want to get I don't want to get a fucking I don't want to get like a weird butt rash because of this bit

You gotta do it, man Here's the fair fair deal is that you get to enjoy the rides for two hours because they're gonna kick you out post haste I mean, they don't let you get away with anything at disneyland You'll you'll get it kicked out immediately. Can I try to find a place where I won't get kicked out? That's I guess that's the goal space mountain In the ride. Yeah, like in line as you're waiting for the log ride Like in the log ride really like if you're going down the hill and then you shit and then you hit that water

People were like, what's that smell? You'd be like, it's probably the water. I smell it too Oh Smells like old Chinese food. I know it's so weird. What do they put in this water? I'd be so if I shit on the ride. Oh my god I mean, not only would people Immediately throw up and start screaming, but I'd also be like, yeah, I gotta wipe Yeah, and I'm gonna need to go back on this ride again right away. And then you're just going down like it's a bad day I'm like

You're gonna sit at the back of the flume and put your legs up like old street jack right there Oh my god, would you use that? Would you scoop the water and then I would do anything to get the shit off of my Me too. I can't walk out. Yeah, it's the worst You know what you do it? All right, so you get onto a full log ride But then you hang off the back of it with your pants down And then you drag your butt through all the water. Oh You'd be so clean you'd be so clean. That's why I made that sound. Yeah Can you picture you're like you're like hunched over like

Oh, yeah, this is great. You got to see this. So, you know how some chicks are just fucking cool where Like the kind of girl you're like, I gotta meet this chick These these girls fit that category. Where do they poop? Uh, well Just I think I think I can see her tit on the bottom there It's falling out the bottom a little bit. Uh, this is what was on uh, no jumper with adam 22 He had these two random porn stars walk in and do an interview with him. That's great. Let's see what uh, they had to say So what do you guys what are your like aspirations like that you hope to accomplish within the porn game?

obviously, I want best blow job and um If they have like an ass eating award, I want that Yep, I heard it You want me to get approval? That was so loud. Yeah, that was pretty loud. That was zankoo chicken. We had zankoo every time we get zankoo I fart Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt these ladies talking. Yeah. So so far we know that that was great. Um We have and I know that the ymh fart mic account is gonna be real happy because you're already in the lead by

Really? Yeah, you guys step up your fart game. I I definitely do But so far this girl said she would want the best blow job award and the best ass eating award Someone you know that she's if that exists if there's a best ass like she wants to eat ass so good They make an award for her They're like goddamn this needs to be Rewarded wait, there isn't there isn't an award. Well an award system for these ladies. She doesn't know. She doesn't know yet Oh, okay. They don't they don't look like they've won much of anything. Yeah guys don't Just respect

Honestly, I would help him clean his ass. You would clean ass before you ate it. Yeah, I mean I I mean, I've gotten my ass eaten after I've taken his shit Same That like isn't okay with blumpkins eating ass like all the nasty shit like I like wait, so blumpkin You want to actually suck dick while the shit is coming out? I don't care. Oh my god. Yo, she got a I have a shit fetish and it's it's it's um, okay Shit fetish. I don't know how it started, but I I told my agent. Okay. This is what made my agent like look I mean like, okay, this bitch is so is that is that buzz from the clip because there's a buzz. Yeah, sounds like yeah

It's I only hear it when you play the clip I think it's in the clip. Okay Okay, shit fetish. I don't know how it started, but I I told my agent. Okay. This is what made my agent like look I mean like, okay, this bitch is so I go up to him and I'm like randomly like I'm just the weekend in the industry And I'm like a week in the industry. I think I want somebody to shit on my ass and he's like wait, what? I mean not shit on my ass shit on my chest what And like a porn agent of porn agent was like, what the fuck? Yeah, are you talking about?

Get out of here. We don't do that kind of stuff. I thought I had an iron stomach Uh-huh, you're good. Okay. Did you actually do this? No, my agent said I have to go to germany to do it. Wow Yeah He said I called around we're not even allowed to do it here and you gotta get on a plane. You can't even do you can't even passport? Okay, no, I can't do it here. Trust me. I tried trust me trust me I've looked into it. I've looked into it and there's this thing where like not one american guy said yes Okay, uh keeps going. No, uh, that's it. That's everything we have. Okay. Okay. That's probably she got to go to germany to make the film Yeah, not to just have someone shit on her chest. You can just go to disneyland

Wait till we bring that up week one into porn like usually you'd be like you mean two guys that sounds kind of crazy But she goes up and was like, how about someone shits on my chest? You get the fuck out of my office I'm not fucking you. How did put your clothes back on? Yeah, put them back on and go home and call your mom How does the shit fetish evolve? I was just thinking that like what happened in her childhood that that's Prefer dr. Drew. How you go? I just don't I've always wondered honestly about that one The thing I wonder the most is just how the um the reflex to Bomb it or just you know run Doesn't like doesn't you know I mean like yeah you round a corner and you smell human shit

You're like fuck and like to be able to be like not only can I sit here in the room? I'm gonna flick my clip for a minute because this feels good Uh, that's I mean that's terrible But it's it's like if you it's uh Maybe it's Jesus. Maybe it's really rub your bean hard and take it easy on that bean I mean that's the way that's why guys don't know how what they're doing with women whenever you see a guy pretend to Jack off like a lady. Yeah, it's always wrong. Well, that was so aggressive. I don't I don't Well, no hers is hers probably is fast because they're shit nearby. Yeah, she's gotta hurry up

Wait, do you think that she would be turned on by what I do? Yeah, you do well, she's don't think I would break her fetish She'd be like, oh, I thought I like you're so now I hear you plop through the door all the time Oh, you're plopping now. Good for you. They're finally solid. Yeah, exactly. I think he needs to get his colon looked at Because it sounds like a machine. I know somebody who'll do it That doctor up there will probably look at his colon I don't know if I could do it if she was like, all right squat squat down Just go ahead and shit Man, yeah, you could you think I could but what like what if I had a real squirrely one

Yeah, it's not gonna be great. It's not like just because she's there. You're gonna be like give a real like respectful You're gonna fucking I have different ones, you know, some days I actually have nice logs and it's like When though, I've never heard those through the door You don't my definition you don't hear Yeah, but I hear I hear him in there and it's always a machine gun. It's always Here's what I want to know what does she want next Now I'm saying like the shit comes out it lands on her chest. She's like, all right now turn around and fuck me

Or like, what does she want? What does she want the next step is she's just gonna have to get like tossed into where they keep the pigs With that kind of thing like there's just not gonna be enough shit around like It's it's really uh It's discussed. I mean, it's really I don't I'm said, uh, I wish she didn't have to go all the way to Germany. All right. I gotta would you rather Okay, would you rather be the guy on the sidewalk? But fucking yourself with the bike handle and be an amputee. Yes

I mean Go ahead Or be that porno girl and that's your job is you just let guys shit on your chest But you only work one week in the business. No, but every day. Oh, how about let's let me rephrase this Your job nine to five. Yeah Well, hold on your job nine to five is to either lay on a sidewalk Nine to five you do it eight hours a day and you fuck yourself in the butt with the bike handles. Yeah or

You let guys Take dumps on your chest I'm gonna need to say the rest of your package here like what do you offer in like vacation time? I'm offering whatever you want. It doesn't matter pick that give me a number in your head your millions of dollars But for one i'm gonna give you one year of employment nine to five Either guys are taking dumps on your chest or you're fucking yourself with a bike handle On the sidewalk and people video you and you can cover your face like that guy Ah

Wow, it's really I probably got to go with that first one the sidewalk one still because uh There's less shit Right, there's less human shit. There might be mine But at some point you're gonna stop being embarrassed by it But I think I will die before I stop like My body would give out before I stopped being grossed out by someone shitting on me You'd probably get arrested a lot being the homeless guy with the yeah, you'd be in jail a lot

And the other one you only have a bunch of shit on your chest, you know, and you'd probably get used to this shit Yeah, you get used to it. You'd be like, that's fine. Yeah, you'd learn to come as it happens I could I could do this. I could do I could I could man I can Like that I came already stop hooping remember um, remember that that guy The little fellow Chewie, yeah His porno. Yes. Oh stop. Don't let me think about Chewie's hand. It's a little chubby

Chewie yeah from uh Chelsea lately Oh He made a porn pornographic movie. Yeah, it was great. It was great He uh, he's does he has he met her yet? Does he know that there's someone who he can shit on? I don't know if he knows that all these guys do is go germany. Stop dodging the question though. Are you going to?

Oh, yeah, would you rather? Yeah. Oh, I'll take I'll take uh, take the shit out of my chest Yeah, I mean too. I think I would just be like, yeah, this is how I live I do too because you would get used to it you learn and you'd be like, you know, it's fun to spend time with other people You know Right because you wouldn't have any friends. It would just be you and that bike lock. You might as well be cast away Yeah, yeah with that bike lock. You're just talking to it. Hey bike lock. We had a good run Yeah Wait for as you're being arrested. You're yelling at the bike lock. Wait for me

Wait for me It would be such a yeah, you'd always be like a clock comes to visit You put your b-hole right up to that window and the bike lock touches your fucking starfish It's like oh bike lock It's true. It is so true You know what would fucking bum me out if I was bike lock guy. I bet you he like that one that he's he's fucking himself with is Perfect. Yeah, that's why it's not the first one. Yeah, this is like his 80th And he's like this fucking feels so good. Yeah, and then when you get arrested they probably take it away

No, you're like, well, they confiscated but they keep it at dude. Yeah, and they get it back No, they probably go this was fucking covered in shit And we just threw it out and then he's like, oh, I gotta get a new fucking bike lock But they don't make it to be 180 anymore. Do you know how long it takes to smooth out the edges with my b-hole so it fits perfectly So you're always fucking trying to find the new bike. Plus you're always nervous that bike lock's gonna meet a nice bike Leave you behind leave you like you're nobody and here's the thing with poop is that I mean I change that filthy diapers all day every day and you just kind of build a tolerance to human

Yeah, all you got. I mean now just imagine rubbing it on your tits, right and then shoot the scene No, no, no, why would you do that before you shoot the scene wouldn't that be the scene? Yeah, like like once you're done rubbing it on your tits. It's cut cut cut We got two there's two fluffers two fluffers come up But one is just feeding the guy chili like here's that guy shoot some more chili We gotta shoot some more don't forget that she also said that she would clean the ass Of the person who just shit with her mouth Yeah, did she say she would do it with her mouth? Well, I got the impression. I got I got the impression that she meant she would help clean

Clean the b-hole and then that is not the impression you got No, the impression I got was it was um I mean really that girl seems really down for whatever she's down. She's super down Could you imagine if you were if that girl was your girlfriend and then you came up with something she wouldn't do Like you'd feel crazy I've been shitting on you for two years And you won't let me just one time peeing your butt or whatever or whatever you're into I know asking for that

Pinging it. Oh, we want you want to pee in my butt. Oh, is this that song? I'll let me see this. Hey. Hey, what stop shaking What he's shaking his legs can you hear the squeaks? Oh, okay. All right. It's like it's it for Oh What is this here? Oh this is Help me the only thing that works for me Yeah God damn it

It looks great So that's uh nine-inch nails you like them I Boy he does time has not been kind to Trent resner Um The faking is a great account on instagram and twitter where they'll take um People's faces and drop them perfectly onto other people's faces

Well Oh my god, so you look so good there top So that guy that guy is the guy's the face is actually saying all this stuff And body is a new person or so they took my face and dropped it over this dude's face, right? And uh, like can you can you pull up the original or no? Oh my god, that's your face. Yeah, you didn't realize that No, of course not. It doesn't really look like you Really? It was like it was like just your beard No

Come on. Oh, you're just a real guy. Yeah, okay. I can see it now Help me the only thing that works for me Help me get away from myself. I want to fuck you like an animal Oh Is this tiktok or just I gotta find this guy immediately I gotta watch everything he's ever done the faking. They put your face onto other people's things Or that was just that happened that time. I don't think jeff understands anything. I don't know

The cool guy club This is the original video and then the faking guy will put Tom's face on him on this guy's face. He'll do it that now some of them are like Super high level where you get like there's one the the guy did of me on garth brooks that is on Oh my god. Oh, yeah, I saw that one. That one was creepy. Yes, super creepy. But then Some of them are, you know, I think he just probably threw that together Um, but you can tell that like you can tell the ones he does to lia a lot He does to lia on like on like serial killer wait, hope scroll up. Who did he do with that lady?

It looks like dwayne job. No, it's whitney. I think whitney. Who's this here? Bitch here I go. So this was from Tech talk. It's a famous tech talk video and he put whitney on there because whitney was like what is going on That's hilarious. And yeah Pull up the account again, bitch Yeah, I bet that look is that lia is that bet you that's on like a serial killer, right? Of course I can't see what it was. His face looks so Always remember christalie is doing it to save relationships rock on. Oh, he's on the market. Okay. Okay. Uh, I think that's that's

Part of my reason for doing this. I mean that looks amazing. Yeah, that one's really great I walk the shopping malls. I start where I parked my car. That's the rock I Get it. I get it man. Uh, man, that's one that went on. That's me. Oh, that was my favorite post Malone I love that one. That one's pretty damn good. That one's look at this one. This one's amazing Justin Bieber was the guy that inspired me to get tattoos because That one's amazing Oh my god, bobby lee. He's doing a few of those Joe Rogan. He says Diaz

Yeah, there's Ethan Oh, did he put joe on lee? Is that what that is there? Yeah That's fucking hilarious, man. Literally the physical example that you would use of someone who's too high Yeah It's funny to scroll down. He did one of me is like a fat lady yelling at people go down further Right, right, right. I couldn't repost it though. Wouldn't let me I was pretty funny. Elon musky loves. Oh, I didn't see this one yet There's two of us

There's bobby lee Yeah, this guy's amazing. Yeah, he's great at this Yeah, well, I think the thing that jumped him off was the one it was amazing was the beauty pageant one Oh my god, you scroll down all the way down like in the account. He did it of like joe burr Yes, um, what's his name? Oh, okay. Sorry like put put the volume down. Oh my god put the volume down Um, and that one right there in the middle in the middle one down That one. Oh my god. This one's amazing. He has music to it. But like yeah, there's arie I mean, oh my god

It's perfect that one's perfect Unbelievable Close Yeah, like that one. There's joey de as is a woman, right? It's unbelievable. Look at joey's face. These are unbelievable. So if you're listening go to the fakening F a k e n i n g. It's uh, yeah, he's done. Oh, yeah, there's the burrt one there. Just fucking ridiculous. Look at that It's so silly. All right Oh, I could look at these all day. They're great. He loves elon musk. I didn't realize he did so many elon. Yeah

Well, elon musk has a Weird flat like flat face. It's like a green screen for a fakening type thing already. Uh, yeah His voice is great. His accent too. Yeah, I like his south african, right? Yeah. No, it's all fake I'm like 90 sure that he got abducted by aliens Elon yeah, and that like but he can't tell anybody that's where he got all those ideas because as soon as you bring it up Hmm, you're crazy Yeah Could be

But he's got that cool flat face. He does. Do you think he's slightly autistic elon musk? Do you think there's a let's just a dash of ass burgers on like a type like a mrs. Dash burgers Do you think come? Um, I mean, I you know, obviously his mind doesn't operate like ours or anybody's really no It's almost as if some aliens total taught him some stuff probably. Yeah, he said too that like He um from a young age realized that you know, he would see things and bring things up and people Yeah, so his mind is very obsessive. Yeah. Oh man. So I'm like the other side of that That happens to me all the time too people like what the fuck? Yeah, but no, but it never like became anything

They were right. Yeah damn it Yeah, fuck. Well, what do we got here? I wanted to Show Jeff as much as we could today this Is I love the show is just me being uncomfortable. Yes Okay, you knew who this was Kenneth Copeland. Yeah now you grew up in the churches. Yes, I did because your dad was a preacher Yeah, um, I don't know like what if you had the exposure. Did you ever have the exposure to one of these mega churches?

No, my dad my dad wasn't uh He wasn't like a draw, but that's like kind of what happened. Yeah, they're like draws Yeah, you get good and people people come and then you uh Put it on tv and then more people come and then it's amazing like I mean I don't know if you've seen Like I mean even this opening this shot right here that we can see there are thousands of people and like that olstein guy You know the famous guy. I think he's in houston. Yeah Shit man. It's like he does he does uh his sunday service where the rockets play

At the uh, he bought the astrodome Jesus, I mean Yeah, but he's the press. You know, it's a bull. It's bullshit. Of course. How fucking dare you? All right, what is this one? Bike lock Yeah, what's this asshole? He's been around forever, right? Yeah He's been coming up. He was in the clubs. He's doing corporates and uh now he's an arena act Yeah, he just does the big rooms. Yeah, he closes a lot of the sunday morning shows. Yeah

He doesn't really do open mics anymore. Oh my god. Who's buying into this a lot a lot of people One case it there is restoration coming and the difference between healing and restoration Is the bones in your neck are having to be miraculously restored in order for you Stupid bitch. What a dummy. Cool. Look at how dark his hair is too. How old is this clown? He's got that nice and easy. 31 32. Yeah, real dark hair. Yeah, I don't know, right? Oh, come on So I mean he looks pretty much the same as he did when I was a kid. Yeah

Like his skin is definitely tighter and shinier and yeah desperate Do you have to be to show up and be like my neck is healing as you talk? Like you just oh, but this badly, but he's on tv Like once you get on tv, the person healed doesn't have to be in the room Oh, right and then you're just you're gonna question it the whole thing is based on not questioning it Yeah, so whatever the guys are fucking con man. I big time beg you to take those words back. Can we see more? Yeah, we uh Actually, yeah, they restored

In order for your healing to take place praise god the healing is there Yes, and I thought no way god I mean that was so specific to my heart's prayer and um, and they said, you know act of motion I mean, I am fused. I mean I have scars here. I have scars on my back I mean, I can't shouldn't be able to move at all. It is plated in the front It is fused with bone and imagine if like the next thing they show is rocko fucking her and stepping And she's like I am healed and he just and that's the face she makes right when her neck gets stepped on It was cartoonish

Anyway, I believe that lady she seemed uh, she seemed legit. So I take it all back. Um, so if you don't know Um, this is a few weeks old now, but it's just a fascinating clip that guy that preacher Kenneth Copeland Has he he bought a private jet, um, which of course I don't knock big fan. Um, he bought I believe A gulf stream, maybe a g5 Which is like, you know a new 50 some million, but he you know, he got it aftermarket from tyler parry Yeah, he bought it from tyler parry if he only knew what has happened in that air I don't know what you're talking about. But what do you mean? Just wholesome things happening? He is a weed

He's confronted by this brilliant reporter who somehow maintains her composure As she asks him not only about the purchase of the jet, but also about the reported Things that he said about why he couldn't fly Commercial which is pretty great Isn't it true that you want to fly commercial so that you can fly in luxury? How much money did you pay for tyler parry's gulf stream jet for example? Well, for example, that's really none of your business, but isn't it the business of your donors? Listen I've had

You kind of caught me off guard here. Okay Super creepy. Thank you lord help Let me let me pray A lot of people think it's unbecoming for a preacher to live a life of luxury and to fly around in private jets What's your response to that? Very simple It takes a lot of money to do what we do Yeah, fly around in private jets. She just said what you did

We're asking you. Why are you spending all that money on it? Out the airplane that we have that I bought from tyler parry and I didn't pay any warning tyler's one of the greatest guys He made it. He made that airplane so cheap for me. I couldn't Well, my question then well, well, okay. All right, but I want to get to the demons because people are very concerned about that comment Inside Inside I love the reference. It's pretty good. What is this a current affair? Yeah. Why am I getting hammered by hard copy? Keep going again getting back to the comment You said that you don't like to fly commercial because you don't want to get into a tube with a bunch of demons

Do you really believe that human beings are demons? No, I do not and don't you ever say I did Oh With flesh and blood oh, but principalities and powers This is some fucking game of throne shit Man And you know to to for a guy To stand over and put your finger. Yeah, fuck him someone's face like that's a small But the look on his face is like I didn't believe in demons until he's

Till he did that until he turned into one fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this fucking maniac. This guy's a maniac. Yeah, total psycho Can you explain what you meant by that that by that term then just just explain because it's really simple You said you didn't want to get into a tube with a bunch of demons. What did you mean? Do you think that people that fly commercial are demons? Give me a chance to talk sweetheart Sweetheart, but it's a biblical thing. It's a spiritual thing. It doesn't have anything to do with people people I love people Jesus loves people People get pushed in alcohol

Do you think that's a good place for a preacher to be and prepare to go preach to a lot of people When somebody in there is dragging some woman down to now It made me so mad to see that on television. I wanted to punch the guy out myself I can't be doing that while I'm getting ready to preach. Yeah So that's a good explanation. So then you don't need to be on commercial flights. I get it now Well, Jesus didn't Jesus fly private as well and yeah, he would turn into a private. Yeah Plane and he would transform on his way down. This is the worst kind of person Absolutely, like there's nobody that fuck you man. Like

Oh, you're you know, you can't be on an airplane to You're afraid of that guy Like you don't want to I gotta be on an airplane preparing to what if I have to help some lady Are you fucking kidding me? I'm trying to read the bible over here and I gotta stop to help some lady Probably a muslim Yeah I don't want anything and that that book is different than mine a little bit. It's a little bit different than mine It's like a it's like a

It's like a different kind it's like kind of different It's a good it's a good defense. You have to really be a piece of shit to do this. What are you talking about? I wish I could fly more because I can't believe all the times all the things I've seen that happen on airplanes and it's like, how does this never happen on an airplane? I'm on and how is there nobody like me on any airplane? Well happens I think we just he we we owe him a chance to kind of explain himself a little bit Oh, we've given him a chance sweetheart

Now he's got he's got a little more hey, I love your eyes we were blessed to have a an airplane that it was a vickers by count and

A man on our board of directors owned that airplane But they that airplane had been parked for several years and uh, it was a four-engine turboprop Oh airliner so This was back in the days when George But first came along and and oh man, we had we had fun in that old airplane didn't what? He went through that George the first like is he talking about the revolutionary war now

He's like that's the thing when you when you're in some shit And you know, you got it you you know, you reach out to the person that you He's kind of remember and you start talking about how shitty the plane was. Yeah Yeah, you're not talking about the new plane. He's like we had this thing could barely take off Just a crappy little private jet. Yeah, it was it was it was mostly a car It was it was like a kind of fast car. Y'all ever seen a uh a car with with propellers on it It was one of those one of those wind cars. Well me and george george. You remember we've uh, fuck that We had that we've lunch George off screen like going

Bitch, I told my wife I was with my brother that night Fuck up camp. I told her this pedometer was busted We went through that airplane from head to from from nose to tail and and and they From head to nose to bow We went through that plane from nose to bow in ways we didn't think the lord would let us Right on this plane. It says in the bible that what you do, uh over five miles up Isn't that isn't even real so me and george would go You remember george we by fuck that first time

That's that's you're out if you if you follow the bible all those things are about being on the ground What's you in the sky? You're in heaven. Can you imagine fucking heaven if this guy was uh, if this guy was like Legitimately cunning in any way. Yeah The opposite of how he is. Yeah. Yeah doofus A fucking con man like a like this guy's like a low rent. Look at how he's dressed. Oh my god This guy doesn't deserve to have any money. No Look at that. That's a that's a suit. I could put together today

Without leaving the block With the cash I have on me. Yeah, and this guy bought a fucking plane You're gonna wear khakis with your blue blazer on that airplane. You look like you just graduated from kindy garden I wonder how strong that hustle is for the donation every week. I mean, that's all he's doing I know but I mean like killing time before the arena comes out They fucking own it and then like you said tv guy now. He's like, we're sitting here trying to heal people I mean, we're on tv and you guys that ain't free. Yeah You're watching kick in a little bit. I mean, this is like that's like one of those shows where that's like when you're

When your friend is like you want to go to disneyland and then you get there and they're like Hey, you want to throw in on gas and like you you invited me? Yeah, and now you want me to pitch in. Yeah, that's what this guy's doing like welcome to the show Is there any way you could just throw me some bucks for having a show? It's crazy. You talk me into watching. Yeah I It's the worst man This is the it is the worst It's the worst type of person that he is and also who the fuck buys into this

Oh people at least all those what you know what it is If you look in the congregation, it looked like women like it's lonely. This is always the hustle too Is what we could do see the bottom right corner. Yeah, it's a picture of him and his wife, right, you know Tommy the lord spoke to me last night and he said by Tommy a jet You need to spread the gospel with your own private y'all are watching this pomecast right now Take so much money. So much. What's the lights on? Pastor tom pastor christina Can I give you a report on the children's church? I would love to hear that jeffrey

We're Well, we're we're uh, we're going out there. We need some new canoes Because we're all going canoeing this summer Down we're taking a mission trip to the uh, it's called uh, santa claus a holiday world We're going to holiday world. It's a rundown Amusement park. We're gonna fix it up. That's uh, I love that and it's just so kids can have a good time You know, you'll need to donate to jeffrey santa claus island You do and the only place you can donate is tomsa current dot com

but And we make sure jeffrey gets it. You don't have to worry about that now That's so good. You're doing that work. I mean if you had if you cut that out and just put that part on youtube with no Nothing that identifies it. We could probably get a little dough. I mean we need it Uh-huh. I mean these kids ain't fucking canoeing themselves down the thing. I got to get some guides I need to get a a a sun seeker. It's a boat Need for the captain you need it the masseuse has her own room But this way we can go places that you can't get to without a boat

But what if he came on tv? It was like, listen, we got this airplane because a long time ago I took a loan from a man. I shouldn't And now the he has played his card and I have to now make some trips to south america I would love it so much more I know be honest as the whole thing's going down right before it gets taken down for being a fucking grifty fuck He should he should be like i'm gay and then everybody'll be like, well, you don't know what to do now Me and george are going to fuck back in the plane. Bye guys. Okay I think you have to be just

I mean, it's the whole reason people are into this stuff in the first place, right? You need answers Yeah, you need certainty you need something well, you need certainty, but they don't want any answers They just want they want it to be done. Yeah, like they they want there's no you don't actually have to take responsibility For anything if you're in that because whatever fucking bad happens was the devil Like anything bad you do is the devil anything bad that happens to you is god's will you don't have to take any fucking ownership And you're like that's how these people are like that's how they that's how come Those people cannot give a fuck about immigrants and things like that because if god actually cared about you would have been born Cool and white like us that's true. Yeah

When you're right, you're right, like they're terrible fucking people because it's a cop out. It's just a cop out And I grew up and I watched that cop out. I watched that cop out play out every day every day Every goddamn day of my life. And what was the general line of the cop out like when you held some When you propose the the accountability that you're talking about what would the line be? You know, I mean to like defend the other point of view. Oh to just shut it down It was always uh, like if I ever asked any questions that were too confusing I would get uh Told I was being blasphemous like as long as you're

You can just get that like you can get that label tossed at you because uh I mean, maybe I mean, it's hard to be people didn't like season eight a game of thrones And if that book was written long enough ago, we'd be calling that blasphemous now Yeah, like you can just do whatever you want and like I got sent to the principal's office for blasphemy anybody here ever No gets get in trouble at school For blasphemy. No I know dude

Yeah, they called and my dad was working at the church next door and so they like the principal and the teacher and my dad They all were like They prayed for me for a few hours. Oh boy. This is for asking a question. Yeah. What kind of question? Do you remember? It was pretty blasphemous. I was trying to get her eyes out of her. Oh, what was it? No, I don't um, I wasn't trying to get her right. I remember uh her explaining something and me just being like That was the seven days. It was just like a basic. I think I was like 14 or 15 Yeah, and it was the it was right when seven came out. So I finally figured out that seven deadly sins or whatever And uh, but then when they talk in the old testament, there's a whole bunch of them

We're being done and it's like and it's god that's doing them And and then I asked about that and uh, they're like, all right, man Go to the office. Yeah, boy, right because you also can't say I don't know Right. I like going to the creation museum. That's near where I live And that is just the biggest fucking like if you want to see a scam that guy built the anoa's anoa's ark And then tried to get money from the state Like he like trying to have you been there a bunch. I've been there once. How is it? Uh, It's fucking stupid. It's it's it's a bunch of tours. You can get a tour

Well, no, there's a there is a tour like there's just like it's just like a walk I'm saying where someone's like in here's, you know, no, there's nothing like that earth is over 500 years old I mean, it definitely is over 500 years old Right, and they go but it's too much older But they just they keep it vague or so 5000 years ago Uh, they they this is so crazy They have like wax figures like a madem to so thing But of like famous bible people

Mm-hmm But nobody knows what they look like. Yeah So let me guess they're all white. They look like They look like nazi propaganda They know like the noses and the faces like it just looks it looks If it wasn't The creation museum if there was somebody who would go in there and who knew how to like Sue about it or whatever like it would have been taken care of but instead is just a bunch of people who don't even know

They know any do what is the defense of the Like you I'm just saying if you know when someone's like, oh, but you know Scientists or whatever would say that, you know 100 million years ago this happened and then 500 million years ago They're like, no 6000 years ago. Yeah. Yeah, there's uh, these things are just put here to test our faith Yeah, that's the big argument Yeah, so anything that doesn't anything that doesn't fit Is uh, is just a temptation I know it's a perfect scam. It's a mobius strip. It's a fucking snake eating a tail. It doesn't

If there is an answer there is a cop out to everything. Yeah, and that's all it is. It's just a built-in cop out Uh That like There's a way to carve it out. So that's what it is. Yeah, and that is what the that's what the gospel of prosperity If you want the prosperity gospel is taught is what's preached in america Yes, the parable of the talents go get you some that kind of stuff, but yeah, that's not that's not pretty that's not what's preached anywhere else The that's what joel osteen Is doing and he's like you should get god is

Prospering you and blessing you he wants you to have all his stuff Yeah, and he wants me to have a jet like he'll be more forthcoming about the jets and the stuff and You know, it's so I was thinking about the stuff yesterday And I was like I I would say I believe more in aliens than I do god Like the the fact that there's I mean that aliens happening it's not from this probable like it's actually probable That there are aliens, but the god thing is not possible. What what about you? I'm telling you he got abducted by aliens, and that's how we know that's how we made all that stuff I do I mean should work can't be the only planet in the all the galaxies and all in the whole universe

Of course, listen, you know why they always why whenever you get abducted by aliens. They put stuff in your butt Why because when you tell people that you got abducted by aliens The part where they get to the put stuff in your butt part is when everybody checks out and they're like no, I don't believe you To make your story not all the way all the way up to it. You're like, what? No, are you and then in the Yeah, you were just drunk, right? Well, then it's never rocket scientists getting abducted. It's never elion elion. That's coming back. No, no That's what i'm saying is it could be I think it is I just think that uh only only

fucking lunatics Bring it up I think elon musk is smart enough to know well, I should just tell him I thought of it Because if I tell him I got abducted he'll lose all his investors, right? So I just yeah, they'll all pull out even though the car still works. Do you do we have a work on this? Do you think josh Potter Um, maybe the thing is he just needs to put it in someone's butt. Has he done that? Have you butt fucked anybody josh?

Yes, okay, never mind. Sorry He can't he can't come with a person What he can only Finish if he masturbates He has have you tried um having someone shit on your chest? I don't think he has no, I mean don't leave no stone unturned to my friend I by the way, you know, I saw this video that we're going to show of this this a traffic stop Was one of the you've seen it one of the things that I

I'm just scared because I don't know what kind of traffic stop it is. Is it a black person that gets killed? No, okay But I actually see when I first saw this one of the first people that came to mind was you Oh, no, no, no because I feel like having known you as long as I've known you and as well as I do that you will You will identify not with the sticker but kind of with this This man's point of view. I'm serious. I feel like I want this to play out and then I'll I'll show you what I mean It's it's not a joke. So I'm excited. So we're looking at a dash cam from a police cruiser He's pulled over a Chevy pickup truck and on the rear windshield of the truck in big white black letters

It says I eat ass Is that comic sans too? Like it's not even like a cool font. It's a bad font. It's IE as but Like I might not be great at it That's pretty true. I just wanted you to know I'm willing It's his chance. He's just trying to get a date. Yeah, I think you're right. It's not a definitive. I eat ass font It's more like I might I eat ass question mark or I you know what it should say. I've eaten ass Right I've had ass it should say I ate ass

Yeah Sticker on the back of your truck What is it? How's it not derogatory? I think you mean profane not derogatory I eat ass, okay But I don't think the word is right. Is it derogatory or profane? Yeah, it's profanity not derogatory. No, it's derogatory if he's like It's like shaming people But there's no way like that that cop

Thought that no, he's like I eat ass comma Faggot that would be derogatory This is just What if that was his what if you guys what if that was what he said? What if what if what if the cop was like take that off and then the guy was like fine He takes it off and he just puts Fuck you faggot on the back I'll see you later

Right. He's like good. All right Sorry, sorry to bother you All right, so sometimes you're a little kid sitting in the passenger seat of his mama's vehicle Looks over and reads that I eat ass and asks his mom what it means. How's she gonna explain that? Okay, let me see your driver's license. You hear that and you're ready to parents jump I kind of agree though This is where I start hearing jeff tape like when I'm watching this the first time I'm like because jeff is the person who I most think of as challenging authority

To who tries to flex like I'm serious. That's that's one of the people I thought of when I first saw this I was like if this was on jeff's car, he would have a similar conversation. You're like, that's not my job Yeah, it kind of is and I agree. I mean, is it is there a law against having a sticker that's profane? I mean officer, you're dressed like a murderer That was how am I going to explain that to my kid? Okay Here's your driver's license back. Here's your buddy's idea back. All right Here's your proof of your insurance and your registration. Okay, listen to me

What you have on the back of your window. Okay is a misdemeanor to say the Florida. Okay, I have four kids A 14 year old a 10 year old a six year old and a four month old if my six year old was to look at me and like that What does ie ask me? Okay, it'd be furious and the way that we handle this situation. Okay, I'm not pleased with So what I did is I issued you a court date. All right, so you can go explain it to the plumbery county court system All right, you just signed right here. All right This isn't saying that you're guilty is just saying the fact that I gave you a copy of your notice to appear Okay, you're gonna have a court date So then by the way take note. I don't know if it's in this clip or not

But when he's he's handed that he actually reads he reads it for a while take us Also, he doesn't actually just sign the mistake right here is this guy has not said This guy should have called a lawyer like he should have said like he should have called He should have just called his friend or whatever. But if you In this kind of thing like I've done that before I got pulled over because my headlight was out And then the cop wanted to search my car No, they can't do that without probable cause right and he was like, uh, can I search your car and I said no

And he goes he goes why are you saying no and I go because I don't have time for this like I'm on my way home, man We both know you like you pulled me over because the headlights out like that's that's what the problem is If you want to look at my headlight go ahead But you can't search the car That happened outside the car. Yeah, and then he wouldn't let it go and eventually like there was Two more cop cars showed up. There were six cops And me and I'm trying to keep them out of my car For you know, whatever just in case. Yeah

It was it was uh, it was I was nervous, but I kept saying like like the first guy was like I'm gonna call The dogs and I'll have the dogs come down here And uh, and uh, and I was like go ahead man I'm gonna walk over there and call a lawyer like I pointed at a pay phone And that this is when it happened there's pay phones Because you see why I got a view. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't get a ticket I did it. So wait, what happened? They couldn't search my car. I stood my ground. That's what I'm saying. Yeah

So and then he was like, all right go Yeah, and then that cop pulled me over nine more times before I moved out of that area. Are you being serious? Yeah Nine more times. Yeah. Yeah for Because I because I showed him up that first night And didn't let him search my car. So what would the what were the other pullovers for anything? Whatever the biggest like the smallest violation. Yeah. Yeah, you were weaving inside the lane Which is the thing I you can get pulled over for Even though you're in the lane

Like this is my lane and then you get a ticket for that. No, no tickets. He was just fucking with me every time Yeah, she is he would just know like your car and be like, yeah, yeah, he just wanted to know because well the back window said I eat ass. So it was easy to see Wait, keep going keep going. I have you uh Take off one of those letters. So that the word you're not refreshing my first amendment, right? You're not doing that I'm gonna need a copy of your uh ID too. It's all on that ticket right there. So all right. Hang tight right there for me then Nice so he wants him to change it to I eat as yeah as I go

Okay, hey, so I pull this mr. Dillon web over because he has a statement on the back of his truck that says I eat ass Okay, it's a misdemeanor state of florida. All right. I issue him a notice to appear I asked him to take one of the letters off so that it is no longer derogatory and he is refusing Is that not resisting Oh This is I eat ass. It literally says all in capital letters. I eat ass Is it comic sans? It's about

Five to six inch letters bold capitalized in white letters on the back window. It takes so it's just it's as big as this third brake light All right, make sure you take pictures of all of that. Yeah, I already I already got the pictures This is That's it, right? Yeah, that's everything. Yeah, so he was arrested. They actually arrested him and then he He actually the The charges were dropped against him. Yeah State prosecutor said the evidence against him does not warrant prosecution

And he had a valid defense under the first amendment the deputy overstepped his boundaries Oh, sorry. That's from uh from web. Um, he said that and then he um, he wanted people to see that police officers are not above Like he's 23. That's the part that's shocking to me I'm trying to imagine being 23 and being like nope And I think it's kind of it's pretty bold To do that. He was saying it was just funny and now at least the last bit of news about him is that he is um considering Suing the sheriff's office. Oh, jeez for what damages who cares shut him down

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty um Pretty great though that that the kid I think that the kid has the balls to do that It's weird to think of if I were to meet his parents I'd be like you raised a fine young man and and and they would hate you so much for it They would be like god dare you that's insulting. I bet his parents are mad at him Because when you stand up to the cops when you're 23 years old, it's because you can't quit your dad Like that's what's going on. Yeah I like that's that's why I was doing it because I couldn't have any

Like my dad was my dad was like that guy that overstepped and there was just never any talking to him So then when any time in life whenever I would feel like that had happened to me Oh, and by the way, they point out in the article that the wrong word was also it's not derogatory. That's obscene Obscene. Yeah. Yes. Thank you guys. Yeah Listen, so so that cop is such a fucking square Like what you do what you do is you sue the department so that guy loses his job Or has to work a desk for a while or has to read a book that was written by a black person or something. Yeah I don't know he took it he took it as like how am I gonna explain that to my children

I really hate that argument is the worst. It's so lazy like well How are you gonna explain that the world is a shitty place to your kid? It's all shit. It's all bad No, the bad stuff is overblown. You know that guy's not worried about the fucking climate That guy thinks oh, we can't have straws anymore straws are gonna fix it We have you like you have to do one thing to do a two things You got to do two things to do three things. We can't even get you motherfuckers on board with straws We're trying to go we we tried with rape and incest you were like, uh all of them We need some of them to be in the army

And then now it's like just every like what about straws am I following? I don't know what the fuck So it is what it's like. It's what it's like to hang out with him But I know you try to compromise with those fucking maniacs like that. I think he's talking to aliens right now He's talking to elon. No, listen. I can explain it better Explain it No, he's like How about the whipped cream? I love you. All right. Let's cleanse our palates. Yeah, sorbet Let's I realize I might be a robot that only you guys know because as soon as she said

That's okay. I forgot what we were talking about. Oh, I think I love this man I love him already Oh, we might have to pull that music down, but there's a cool guy dancing And he's uh drinking whipped cream. He's got nice hair He's got nice hair Dude check out these moves. This is why I wanted to do the dance contest. Yeah, shit like this, you know Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Wow. This guy's got all the moves. He's he's taking the whipped cream putting it in his cup

Yeah, and he's no I mean, what do you what do you see jeff for our listeners? What are you looking at? Yeah Well, he's got the whipped cream in the foreground, but he's clever enough to not put it where you can see the whole label But how would you describe him? Ah, super cool. I like what he's doing with his t-shirt. I like how he's pulled his t-shirt up over his head So it looks like he's broken his collar bone Yeah, that's true. Yeah, is this is the whole video? Yeah, this is it.

Cool guy club Just some hairy weirdo dancing in a speedo I mean part of it But part of what he thought the dance needed was the whipped cream and hot chocolate or coffee maybe It's great. It's great. It doesn't need it, but he doesn't even drink out of it He just puts the whipped cream on top of the drink and then spoons some whipped cream into his mouth It's fucking awesome. But that's the best part of whipped cream I I because you can't really drink whipped cream when you put it on top of your hot bretver

It just it kind of goes away. So the way he's doing it is right You know what I mean? Because you every time I tilt the cup and the whipped cream goes to the other side This is actually how you should put it on the edge. Yeah Yeah, but Dude, this guy look at all the things he did Okay, that's not how you do that like do you know what I just realized to get into his coffee He skipped pants. He skipped shirt on right. All right. I admire that he skipped not filming it He is skipping so many steps dude. No if josh potter grew out his hair. Yes

Don't they have a similar torso? Oh my god. This is josh potter in like 10 years. Josh just hates sweets But this is basically josh If you're listening you're like, what's going on Picture josh with long hair and he's shaved and he doesn't wear a shirt anymore And he loves whipped cream that guy that guy is about to take a shower and go to his Lunchtime radio DJ gig Hey, it's ranger bob with your all request 80s lunch I made another dancing video check it out on on the web on tiktok. This is tiktok

This is tiktok material. This is where that old town road. No, but it's full. I mean, yeah, this is prime tiktok It's just gonna pop up in christina's feed in no time. I'm gonna look out for this guy. I but then there's also like There's also russian tiktoks, which this might be Eastern european. Yeah This is my tribe and the background that kitchen looks european doesn't look american. That's very small It looks cool in either case, but it looks sunnier than I picture europe Um Aren't you usually it's a world war two usually happening. I've never been to europe. I've only seen the movies

Let me um, ask you before we go Um, where can people see you coming up? You know, give us the plugs. Let us hear it. Give us the bugs Uh Um, I will be I'm sorry. I wasn't ready to have to know things. I'm sorry specifically you want me to pull it up instead Do you need help? No, no, it's I don't have it anywhere current online. Okay I gotta update my website Yeah, go ahead

I'm gonna be a go bananas the best on june 27th through the 30th Okay, right so Cincinnati. I know some I know some of you. Yeah No, tom I was in my pajamas on at the air enough You were we did the air enough together. That was me. Yeah, that was awesome We did that together. We did cleveland. We did dc titsburg We did madison, milwaukee, chicago

We did the rhyman in nashville together Super fun. Oh fatsoville. We were bus mates farceville There you go. Not a good bus though. No, we got the bad bus a p only bus It was is this a number one or a number two and oddly enough number two is a number one in my book. Hello I'm gonna be in cleveland too. I forgot june 12th. It's a wednesday. So it's probably free And I'll be a hilarities great club And uh, that's it and for now altered altered tates my brother and I have a podcast called altered dates And it comes out on tuesdays. That's great great name. Um, you're one of my favorites

I love you. You're hilarious. Oh I would tell you if you're in cleveland or cincinnati Go see this guy. Do stand up live. It is a fucking treat. He's so good Um, thank you for coming today Well, my pleasure. I wasn't the only one The closing song is our worded hot hot hot farts by Carmine Haven't heard it, but it's a great title

And so is josh the only person who when he's jacking off he pictures jacking off It might be and when he's fucking he also thinks about jacking off. It's a good question. Probably It's a weird question. I know he's got trouble, but help is on the way I know that too. All right. Bye guys. Bye mommy I I'd go to retarded I mean retarded man A hot core fun. You are completely retarded

A hot core fun. You are completely retarded A hot core fun. You are completely retarded. I like that. I like that Oh Like that I mean retarded man He retarded man. I mean retarded man He retarded man Son of a bitch hot core fun

A hot core fun A hot core fun. You are