Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 512-Alyssa Milano-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: August 14, 2019

A new battle HEATS up as temperature gate comes to the Studio Jeans thermostat. Perhaps things can be settled in a round of "TIK FOR TOK?" 30 Seconds To Mars has entered into "Intro Wars" Plus YMH has discovered a lane of cooking that is right up our ally and another original prank call gem from the great Fart Simpson. Alyssa Milano arrives at studio jeans, but we are one pant leg short. It's just Tom and Alyssa. How much can Tom confess before Christina arrives?? Alyssa talks about her show biz life, her long history of activism and then she gives her opinion on some of our favorite cool guys. Soon, Christina arrives and we get to the bottom of lots more including the hit jam sensation "Teen Steam."

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That's the number 23andMe.com slash mom. I want those T-I-T-T-I-T-T-I-T. Titties. Chillies, baby back tits, barbecue sauce. Do you like chilies? It's been a few years, you know. I've eaten there on the road. I don't care for any of their entrees.

I've tried many of them. I will say that I don't like the decor, the menu, or the people that work or dine there. Yes, and they messed. I ordered a Waldorf salad one time. It was terrible. It was too sugary. I mean, how do you mess up a salad? I mean, I remember when I was a piece of shit and I would go there.

Yeah. Wait, but they have the baby back ribs. Didn't they have them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm a country bad country baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Baby birth. Those weren't bad.

They weren't bad if you've never had ribs before. They were no Tony Romas. No. I think Tony Romas is the standard for me. Yeah, you like them too? Yeah, I was taking there as a kid. Tony Romas was the shit. Me too.

I love the sweet sauce. I think you have some real power of onions. Some real ribs though. The real ribs are different, yeah. Wait, Tony Romas isn't real ribs? No. They are. They're real ribs.

No way. Like that place where the fucking had in Kansas City that Lundy took me. Yeah. The dick tips. Yeah. From Q Q 39. I think it's called fuck your mom. Yeah.

Is that the one where the workers berate you? No, no, no. That was that was those are like good. And Texas has the real barbecue. They got the dry rubs. Can't fucking remember the name. The original Arthur Bryant's. They're like, come back here and wrap it up yourself.

Yeah. What? Yeah. They think it's fun to sass you. She was like, wrap it up here. The lady at the original Arthur Bryant's in Kansas City when I went there a few years ago and I was like, can I get this to go? She was like, yeah, there's there's the paper and the tape like to wrap it up.

And I was like, it's in the kitchen. And she's like, yeah, like come wrap it up. So I was like, I'm supposed to go into the kitchen. And she's like, yeah. I was like, okay. It's rude as shit. And that's their hook is to be crappy. No, that's not their hook.

Oh, that was just the thing. That's just she's just an asshole. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I don't like are the rib places that they only give you a piece of bread as your side. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh, who wants to just eat ribs and bread?

Well, they're just like, you got to stop up all that grease. Yeah. But you want side dishes. Can you move it away? Please. Please. The heat. Please.

I'm cold. It's 92 degrees today in Los Angeles. Outside. And Christina has a fucking heater on. A space heater on because in here you maniacs keep it a 68 degrees. I'm freezing my bones. I'm not going to be able to do this. I'm serious.

It's so hot over here. You're such a diva. Come on, man. Stop being a diva. Take your shirt off. Take your shirt off. Take your shirt off. I'm in a t-shirt.

Turn the heat off. It's summertime. Turn the heat off. What's she going to do for me? Come on, man. Let's try. What you got to do for me? I don't know.

You're ruining everyone's head scratch. Sure. Yes. Tonight. Sure. Whatever you want. Spoonings. Yes.

What the fuck am I making for you? To turn the heat off? Because I'm cold in here. It's freezing. I feel sick all the time when I'm in here. Well, here it goes, ruining my day to make your day brighter. You guys got to break that. You see the sandwiches I make for you?

It's summertime. This is nonsense. Can I talk about my side dish? Here's the deal, man. When I eat ribs, I like to have corn on the cob. I also like a baked potato loaded with everything. And onion rings from Tony Romes. Those are the jams, right?

Now, do you get the loaf before the meal? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. And during. Yeah. That's the thing you re-up on. Yeah. During the meal because it always goes out.

Right? That butter. That butter's good. The butter, bro. Wow. What do you like? Do you like coleslaw? I like coleslaw.

I hate coleslaw. I like coleslaw. I like coleslaw. But there's a lot of different varieties of coleslaws. Like KFC's is dog shit. Yeah. There's real liquidy ones. I hate the liquid.

There's watery. Do you like that? Then there's ones that are like two, I don't know what it is, mayonnaise-y? Like they're too heavy. Yeah. There's like a fine line of making that the right way. Yeah. I don't really like potato salads either.

Oh, I like potato salad. You don't like potato salad? It's garbage, man. Yeah. Is it too sweet or weird? It's like so many carbs. Carbs don't belong in a salad like that, dude. Like chicken salad, that's bullshit, too.

We're having carbs, we're eating ribs and shit. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, but it's just a weird comment. Like peas and carrots and potato and mayo. No, peas, I don't like peas. I also think that people who like peas should be sent away. I love peas, and I actually like peas in a potato salad. That's the only time I like potato salad.

All right. I got to meet some new people this week, but there's so much to get into. So much to get into. Let's get started, you know what I mean? I'm so excited to be doing the show. It's been a minute. Yeah. I'm happy to be here with you guys.

Me too. Let's get into it. You ready? Yeah. Here it goes. Let's get the fuck done. Okay. All right.

Sarah, sir. Sarah, here, Nick. You come up for a pass. No. Oh, you're going to come up? Yeah. Man, I'm kidding them. Man, get off.

You're insulting me, man. I'm insulting you? Yeah. I'm insulting you for fucking you. I'm insulting you? Yeah. Damn. Fuck you.

Fuck you. Damn, homie. Love. This is Big Time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone's mother into this. Your mother in the fucking stands. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pashitsky.

Christina Pashitsky. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pashitsky. All right. I love that one. That's my favorite one by far. Yeah. That was great. I love that one.

Oh, so good. When you left the files at the office. It's really good. I'm really amazed at his ability. Yeah. I mean, that was really, I don't know. I think I'll be able to do that. I've seen him dance.

I've seen him sing. I've seen him shower. I've seen him do a lot of things. You've seen him shower? Yeah. You've seen him shower? Well, I got a taste of the post-shower flavors and I can see why. Oh.

Were you guys rooming together? I can see why he's doing well in the lady department. Really? Yeah. Although I do think I would need to get to that wax, that body waxing pretty soon. Wait, hold on. Did you see him on the tour bus? Yeah.

No, no. Well, we were in one of the venues and they have dressing rooms for everybody and he was, I went on a run. I'm a very dedicated athlete and I went on a run and then when I came back, they were going to give us a tour of the, there's an arena next door and they're like, we can do the same people own the building so they're like, we can give you a tour. I was like, oh, let me see if he wants to go. So I knocked on this dressing room.

I didn't hear anything. I opened and he, like a God, he opened his bathroom door and I saw like the steam come out and he had a towel around and he was like, what's up? He looked like smoldering, you know? And he had a cigarette in his mouth. I was like, you smoke in the shower? He was like, yeah. And then I could see, I could tell that like to date him, I got a feeling of what it was

like, you know, like it's sense that he's like kind of dismissive, like Bobby and Trish, you know? Yeah. Like he's like, yeah, you're whatever to fuck out of here, like that kind of energy. And you think that's the allure? I think that's his allure, yeah. And women really go for that. It's lack of approval, you know?

Yes. I was like, I turned into a chick. I was like, do you want to come see the arena? Yeah. And he was like, maybe. Yeah. So withholding. Yeah.

So did you, you're saying you got to see his unit or you saw? I saw everything, yeah. Everything? It's nice. Wow. And what about the hair though? It's a lot of it. Tell me about it.

Where is it? It's everywhere. Where is it? I don't know. It's like asking, where is that hair on that gorilla? Yeah. He's that bad? It's a lot.

Because I saw the, it's all on the arm, on the forearm, behind. I mean, the arm is just fully covered and then his chest fully covered too. Chest, shoulders, yeah, everything. Shoulders and down the stomach too? Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Mm-hmm. We need to get him waxed.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, we should. We get his balls. He showed me his taint. That's pretty hairy. Oh. Yeah. That's nasty.

His asshole's pretty hairy. Yeah. Yeah. But it's tight. You know? It's cool. It's so gross. Yeah.

But you gave him an iPhone. I did. Yeah. Well, he, he, we were on the bus and he sent, he was like, check this out and gives me his phone. I'm holding it. I'm like, the fuck is this? Yeah.

And I'm like, from which year? Oh, it's pathetic. I just held it. And you know, like when you, you're like a friend of yours has something and it just angers you? Mm-hmm. You know? Like I held it and I was like, man, I don't even know if I want to be friends with you.

You know? Yeah. I got in like such a bad mood. Yeah. And he was like, but can you look at what I'm showing you? I'm like, yeah, but I'm just holding this fucking phone. Well, I'll tell you the phone that he's currently using is so tiny. Yeah.

And he doesn't have great vision to begin with. I can barely, I have decent vision. I know. Mama's and I was like struggling. So I don't even know. And there's no cover on it. I forgot my, and I know, I forgot my glasses today and I'm already like. Oh no.

Yeah. But anyway, yeah. So immediately when I held this phone, I was like, I'm getting you a phone next week. Good. So I got him a phone. So he's stepping into 2019. Yeah. I wonder, I wonder how much porn he watches on it.

I don't mean. I touched his phone too after he, his jizz fingers. I don't know. And we just sent Ali out for a snack run. And I was like, don't come back here with just a bucket of almonds. Cause all you guys with your dick fingers, put your hands in the almonds and your piss and cum fingers all over. You know, like she'll get like a barrel of snacks.

And we don't do that individually wrapped only around here. So guys. Do you want to? Yeah. Everybody does. So disgusting. It's true. We are pretty gross.

But there's a sink here. Yeah. You guys don't wash. What? I've seen you barrel out of there after making browns. You don't wash your hands after we yellow and brown. I don't think so. Chris.

You're picking your nose. Chris. Do you wash your hands after you make a chocolate? No. Yeah. See the laugh. I definitely wash my hands after shitting. Yeah.

But not after peeing. Oh, sometimes. See? That's standard. That's standard. What? That's disgusting. You guys are touching your dough.

At home, I don't wash my hands after that. Oh, my God. But I'm at work. That's standard guy behavior. I only wash my hands after I pee if my son is like, did you wash your hands? I'm like, yeah, I'll do it for you. Company's coming up. Yeah, yeah.

But normally when I pee, I'll just touch the water or I'll wipe my, if I get a little pee on my hands, I'll wipe that on the towel. It's so disgusting. And that's the snack hand. That's the hand you put in the container. Yeah, but it's just like dick and piss stuff. It's not shit. Yeah.

And one, two, three, four, five guys. Now, I'll tell you who's a real fucking savage is topped on. Yes. Because I have been with him like, you know, like in a hotel or even at like their house and, you know, he comes out and I'm like, did you just take a shit? Yeah. I'm like, are you going to wash your hands? He's like, what are you, a chick?

And I'm like, okay. A chick. I'm like, it's shit though. Like you shit and you wiped your ass. Yeah. It's just a little bit of shit. I'm like, okay. Please.

And then I see him go like, like that. He's like, okay, like that. Yeah. Yeah. He is pretty. I mean, he is a pretty amazing immune system. I do think it's in part because of that. Remember when he crapped on his sheets and then he didn't even wash it and your mom had

to forcibly wash the sheets. He farted in bed, sharded, got it on the sheet. And then what he did was he just flipped that part of the sheet over. He's like, I flipped it over. I'm like, you don't want to take it off the bed. He's like, it's fine. He also shit his pants when we were in Maine a few years ago and took a shower, gets out, picks up the pants.

We're sharing a hotel and he starts putting his leg through. I go, didn't you just shit yourself in those? And he's like, yeah. And I go, don't you have another pair of pants? He goes, what do I need another pair of pants for? Well, because you shit in them. He's like, they're fine. Holds them up.

I can see like this brown streak. And I go, look, he goes, it's just a little bit of shit. And I go, dude, just put on the other pants. He's like, why do you think men have such a high threshold for nastiness? I don't know. I mean, for him, I think it's a conditioning that took place over time. I think the big part. Being a Marine and like being around barbarians.

Yeah. Where it's like encouraged. And they're like, if someone's like, did you wash your hands? They're like, get a load of this fucking girl. Yeah. So, yeah, I think you're around that for years. Then you just, it just becomes your DNA. Oh, it's so true.

You guys are just so nasty. Yeah. You just have such a low threshold. Such a high tolerance for discomfort and filth. Yeah. Like Josh Potter, we also learned sleeps with one pillow on his bed. Yeah, but it's like one pillow. It's, it's all you need.

If you're in prison. Yeah. He's a free man and then women spend the night. Yeah. And then what? But then sleep on the mattress. He's like, good night, bitch. But yeah.

You sleep on the flat part. But that's the thing is like that's, that's part of the victory because you got that girl to bang you and sleep over. Yeah. And you didn't even give her a pillow. Right. So that feels good. It's for him.

That's his logic you're saying? Yeah. No. Josh, can we talk to Josh about this logic? I don't believe that that's him. Because Josh is not malicious. No, he's not. He's just a cockroach and he doesn't live like a person.

But he's not being malicious. No. He's just, he's like, this is how I live. Do you want it or not? Thank you. That's exactly true. Do you want it or not? They come over and they see my circumstances.

If they want to turn and go out the door, that's fine. But they usually stick around and then I say, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Now, what happens when they're, do they ever go like, oh, do you have another pillow? And I go, nah. And then do you take the pillow or do you give them the pillow? I've let them have the pillow.

I'll be like, I'll ball up my jeans or something, you know. And I've seen your jeans. You don't wash those either very often. Here and there. You know, when denim is required to be washed. By the way, my dick is the cleanest part of my body. I believe that. You wish I'd grabbed the nuts out of the jar with just my dick.

Yeah. No, thanks. So how often do you do your laundry? Like how often are you washing your bed sheets? I do the sheets pretty like once, like a week, every week and a half, I guess, or something like that. That's fine. It's almost two weeks. And then your clothing.

But I only own like two sheets. Yeah. So I have to do it pretty quickly. How would you feel about like, would you be upset if you were gifted pillows and stuff? No, I mean, if it's there, I'll use it. I told Tom this weekend, like a hotel room is like my reward. Oh my God. I'm excited.

Like I work hard and I get the hotel room and then I'm excited. Then I go back to my room and I go, OK. How shitty is your mattress? It's pretty decent. Actually, I just bought it when I moved here. Oh, you did? Oh, so it's like a nice mattress. Yeah, that's a decent mattress.

But see, I relate to Josh because I too deprive myself of basic comforts. Like remember when I wasn't putting ice in my smoothies? Like I just, OK, I guess I don't have cold smoothies. Right. Like I kind of get it because I was doing the same shit for years. And then you're like, wait a minute, I can buy another pillow. Yeah. My glasses are all bent up right now.

And I am like, I should go get those like tightened or whatever. And then I just don't force myself like, no, you don't deserve it. Right. Right. It's poor self care. Yeah. It is. You don't deserve it.

It's poor self care. It's poor self esteem. It's poor self worth. Yeah. But yeah, my dick's the cleanest part of me. Yeah, we heard you the first time. Yeah, I just wanted you. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I'm not interested. Will you get waxed? Yeah, of course. We were talking about this. We're in.

We're in. I'm sold. Yeah. Tom got the whole picture. It's smoldering, I know. It's nice. And you're going to do the crack and everything too, right? Oh, that would be dope because then I can have my, I could be like more forward about

my desire to have my beehive. Oh, you guys and your, okay. Scrub masters are out there. How often do you brush your teeth? Like do you? Twice a day. Twice a day. Do you floss?

Yeah. Okay. Should I not? You shower daily. No, you should. I shower like five times a day. So you're pretty hygienic. He's a big shower.

He is hygienic. You can't call him nasty dirty. He's not nasty. Yeah. Yeah. I get offended by that because I shower so frequently. Yeah. You're clean, but you're...

Hairy, that's all. You're hairy and you deprive yourself of basic human... If you had this hair in your noodle salad, you'd be like, this is a clean-ass hair. Okay. Thanks, Josh. Neat talking. You know what I'm saying? Yep.

Thanks for the chat. Good job, Josh. Anyways, I find it fascinating that men, like especially our dad's generation, I was talking to my therapist about my dad's inability to be introspective, that's what she said. He likely doesn't have the ability to go like, how am I feeling? What's going on inside of me today? Like, it literally would be just like, I'm hungry, I'm horny, I need to sleep, I should drink something.

I was... She explained this to me and I was shocked that that's how people are able to function. Yeah. I mean, that's how a lot of cold-blooded killers think and operate. Right. Or my dad. Or people... Or basically a lot of men from that generation.

That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's him specific. Like, I have a lot of... Yeah. I understand it. Like, he grew up in horrific conditions in a horrible country and it's not like his mom was super cool and like... No.

Attended to his needs emotionally, but yeah, that whole generation kind of got screwed. Yeah. A lot of those guys, I mean, those guys too, like, you see it because what happens is, you so want... Everybody's natural inclination is to probably, you know, unless you're broken, your natural inclination is to want to share, is to want to connect, is to want to be emotional. All those are like natural human things. They're suppressed with the men of that generation and then a lot of them like turn 80 and then

they're like... Because all the testosterone probably is leaped out, it's gone and they become women and they become sensitive. They start sensitive and you know, you see it, like I've seen it in a bunch of older guys. Yeah. But what's bad because you realize that they were told also like, don't cry, don't complain. Don't have feelings.

Yeah. Don't share that kind of shit. Don't think about yourself. Toughen up. Yeah. It's crazy. You guys are made into sociopaths. Yeah.

Serial killers. But I think that's changed a lot in the West. This generation, it's not going to be the same. But you're basically told, yeah, if you have feelings and thoughts, you're a fucking pussy. That's also a generation of like where all the men went to war. Right. You know what I mean? Like every man who is pretty much 60 and older, there's a huge probability that they

were in a war. It's creepy. And wars are just the worst, man. Right. You can't be crying on the battlefield or thinking about your feelings and shit. No, you can't. You got to be a machine. It's so crazy.

Yeah. It's crazy. I wish I could shut down my ability to introspect as well. No. Don't you wish? You didn't have thoughts and stuff. It'd be great. No.

Because you see what those guys are like. Yeah. And ultimately it's... My dad's pretty happy. He's got a pretty happy. Okay. He's got a new Vietnamese lady. I mean, that part's cool, but...

He's pretty pleased with himself. Let's go back to this opening clip where this really chill broad is with her man. Imagine being one of the guys at the beginning of this clip sitting there with your headphones in, just waiting for a flight to board. You're like, I just want to get out of here. I hate when this stuff happens. It makes me so uncomfortable. Shut the fuck up.

Oh, my God. Yeah, you better believe it. I wear the fucking nuts, nigga. In front of public. You want to fucking try to look at other women, nigga. Now fuck you. You ain't going to look at other women. And you ain't going to tell me you're looking at other women.

So he's checking out other checks and she's upset about that. I guess. I mean, that's one way of putting it. Yeah. That's a... Well, that's what she said. I know. I know.

I fucking consult a fucking child. There's a little boy right behind you. I already know. I'm not going to say nothing, but you don't say nothing. Try to cause a commotion because he's a fucking problem. Whoa. Oh. You want to fucking try to fucking say shit to me, nigga?

I'm just gonna shut the fuck up. A lot of big words. You know what I would never do if that's directly behind me? Sit still like that. What would you do? If there's commotion behind me, I get up and I watch the... You watch it? Not for the amusement for like the safety.

Yeah. I don't want shit behind my head, chaotic, you know? But they're freezing. So there's fight, flight, freeze or fall. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I don't sit there. They're like, I'm just going to be very, very still and this lady will stop.

The first thing I would do would be like, yeah, I'm not waiting for something to hit me in the back of the head. You know, our FIFO, our beloved past FIFO, was really great at survival. And one thing I noticed about FIF is that whenever there was trouble, he was out of there. Yeah, yeah. The minute he sensed some bullshit was happening, he didn't stick around like these two suckers. This guy is like staring down as there's chaos behind you.

Yeah. Not a smart move. He's like, if I just ignore it, she'll stop screaming. No, don't do that. You shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up. Now they look. Are you gonna come up?

No. Are you gonna come up? Yeah. Man, I'm kidding them. Man, get up. You're assaulting me, man. I'm assaulting you. I don't know you for fucking years.

I'm assaulting you. That's a laptop. Oh. Fuck you. Well, I mean, he disrespected her. I'm gonna get my purse. Are you okay? Are you okay?

Fuck you. You want to say I'm assaulting you? Fuck you. I don't think she knows. Fuck you, memo. Man. She's got a Gucci bag. You're gonna be charged with this all.

Fine, whatever. Oh, yeah, memo. She's all, let me take my glitter backpack and my Gucci bag. Why did she have, like, a children's backpack? She, um, she's had a lot of big words. Well, hey, man, I'm not even gonna touch that. No, I mean, she did. That is her deal.

I know, but she's, uh, not black. She's not? I thought she may be. She might be. Is she? Uh, I think she might be Latinx, maybe. That fucking bullshit. What's that?

Latinx. What's that? That's the new non-gender-specific way of saying Latino or Latinx. What? Oh, guys, first of all, it's not bullshit. I think you're being disrespectful. And explain this to me. So if you're non-binary and Latin now, it's Latinx?

Yeah. But what's, of course, the fascinating part about it is that Latin language is all function on a masculine and feminine term basis. Not anymore. So, and only people who don't, yeah, only people who, like, it's, it's picked up in the United States by, like, people who are not speaking Spanish but are of Latin descent and they're like, we're Latinx. It means that we're, like, night, it's just the non-gender-specific way of saying from

a Latin country. But the language that you, the origin of that language is to make the distinction, is it a masculine or feminine term? Is it, you know, la ischina? Right, right, right. A la derecha. Yeah, that's right. Right.

There you go. Same with German. Yeah. D, der, or das. You have to, but they have neuter in German. Do they not have a neutral in the Spaniel? I guess I'm not well-versed enough to get into it, but it's just, it's just super silly. Yeah.

It's silly. It's a very... I mean, I, I've... I'm Latinx. You're Latinx. It's like the, I just want the studies, I wish we could leap ahead a hundred years to see like when they're like, and then there was this very r-worded period where people were saying stupid shit constantly.

They will. It'll come. I think we're on the right side of history. Fuck you, memo! Memo. Memo. Yeah, this is pretty cool, by the way. A lot of people have been a big fan.

Fuck you, memo! I mean, this, this lady was very cool. But the, a lot of people have been obviously up on the intro, the intro wars. You know, we had the short intros, the long intros, the fucked up intros. And one of the listeners of our show happens to also play for a little known rock and roll outfit, and during his soundcheck, uh, can we get a little taste of what he did? This is 37s tomorrow. Crazy, right?

Is that Steve Aiello? He writes on Twitter. Soundchecking. Soundchecking the Y-imager intro. The Y-imager intro. Hoping we change this set to two hours of just this. Thanks, Steve. Oh, thank you, Steve.

And that's really, uh, I'm sure if that audience had been there, they would be thrilled. Thrilled. You know? Well, he did this in my motherland. This is in Budapest. Oh, wow. So he, yeah, he did it in my motherland. I can't believe I'm going there.

I can't believe you're going there. Yeah. You have to hang out with my friends there. I'm going to hang out with some Hungarian honeys for sure. No, not the honeys. Stupid. It's the land of big-headed blondes. It is, actually.

Yeah. You might run away with another model, a Hungarian, a younger model. I'll just, I'll start my European family over there. That would be like me touring in Puerto Rico. I like how you're like, oh, I got to go to Budapest for my comedy tour. I got my. Got to go, huh? I got some more stuff.

I'll say I'll walk up. Stupid. See a girl on the street. Go on. Michi nas. Michi nas. Michi nas. I lost my.

Oh, my God. And then I have, what is it? Kiske dve se mi. Oh, okay. All right. You don't need to speak Hungarian. Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy. Oh, Kido-ki.

Thank you. Thank you. Anyways, I'm so excited to make this next announcement. Last year we came out as polyamorous. And this year I'm pleased to announce that I'm bisexual. Oh, that's. But also. That's great.

But also, can we talk about what we've been making on our brand new app? Now I know a lot of you have been really appreciating my TikTok curations and I appreciate you. And, you know, I'm just excited that now Tom and I are finally making our own TikToks. And this is our new segment we're going to call going tick for talk where we present TikToks from each of our accounts and let you, the viewer and listener decide who is a better TikToker. Now, hold on. Before we get into this.

Yeah. I would like to plug my account. I'm already double the followers of Tom's and I like to keep it that way. I'm at the water champ on TikTok. You may follow me. I make them almost daily and I have to say mine are really good. Such a weird plug. But I will say I did make a TikTok.

I made an homage to the guy that was like, I'm having my lunch. I'm having my lunch. I'm having my like that guy. I really like him. I do have sincere love for him. And I was just doing an impression and I got a lot of heat from the TikTok community on that one. So if you want to check out the controversy, go to at the water champ on TikTok.

And you can read the comment. There's a lot of hate for me on that one. I'm at Segura Tom because some fucking piece of shit. But you can follow me and I will grace you with my awesome TikTok. I'll stop. So up first, Christina, totally ticked. Here we go. Oh, you need the music.

No, I had to take the music off. Oh, that's the best part of this. What are you talking about? The genius of this. I think everyone could see how genius is. No. I'll tell you why. The genius of this original.

This is the first piece I did is because it is to the fad gadget song, Lady Shave. And it's an 80s weird song. And I felt that the music really makes a difference. So if you want to see the original, please go to the water champ. Well, yeah. I mean, it's really, really great piece. I'm proud of it. Okay.

Here's that's yours. But I mean, I know it on TikTok. It's different. But you need the music. That's still a really cool one you did though. Thank you. And I wish the listeners, if you're just listening, it's four different screens. It's like the Brady Bunch opening and I'm doing various head movements to the music.

And it looks really cool. Okay. I'm making a TikTok. There's one of mine. So I can't believe I got heat for making fun of making my lunch and making my lunch. Why? You haven't gotten any pushback for this one? No.

Okay. No. I can't believe that one. Bikes. That's mine. Bikes. That's my impression. Bikes.

Okay. I lip synced it perfectly. That's me doing Tommy. What's a big lane in TikToks is mouthing the recordings of something from like a movie or a special and 99% of the people that do it are off. Yeah. They're never in sync. Well, I would say 90% of the people I follow are off.

Well, that's a good way for me. The regular TikTok users are pretty good at it. This one's actually like... Yeah. This one's my favorite of yours. It's a pretty good TikTok. It's really good. It's really good.

Okay. It's a good TikTok. Here's back to Christina. Wow. Yeah. You look like a lioness. I was very tired and I just looked like shit in my kitchen. I just did that real quick.

Yeah. I like to be spontaneous. I don't always look perfect. I mean, on your mom's house, I have makeup on. I try to make an effort for you guys. But on TikTok, I let it hang out. Yeah. This is how I look around the house.

I'm just being honest. I like to keep it real. Here is... This is... I like to break down the walls between you and me. BlueBand told me this is his favorite one that I did of me. Where... Stupid.

That's a good one. Trying to figure out the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's happening? It's a good TikTok. This is so stupid. It's so dumb. Here's another Christina one here.

I'm having my breakfast. That's... I'm having my breakfast. I'm having my breakfast. Okay. This is the one that got me through. I'm having a good day. Are you having a good day?

I'm having a good day. I have a good day. This one got me a lot of trouble. Tell us what happened. Well, I posted this as an homage to our friend and the TikTok community is not happy with me. I have a lot of comments telling me if I'm a comedian that is not very funny and how dare I make fun of him.

But I really didn't see it as making fun of him. I really, genuinely like the guy. I like his work. You were just like... Duetting. This is what they call a duet where you do like an homage. Oh, really? Yeah.

Okay. Here's one that I thought was right on point for TikTok. I think he's gonna be there. He's gonna be there, right? I don't know. I think I don't know. Because I've seen a lot of people played multiple parts. Yeah.

You know? How do you do that? So you just record and then you pause and then you do the other part. Yep. So you're like Eddie Murphy. Like when he can do all the different characters. You know, you're not the first person to say that. Wow.

Because look, your acting skills are really shining here. Yeah, thanks. Wow. Here's another TikTok here. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're all allowed to show this on YouTube.

Oh, my God. No. So the listeners aren't seeing this. Can you explain what you're seeing? Can you? Can you? I don't think this is real. And how is this real?

They're laughing and having a good time. Oh, my God. So there's a two ladies and one older gentleman. He's gray and he looks like Santa. And they're all naked. And he's urinating into his own mouth. And then he's urinating into the other two ladies' mouths. They all take turns with him urinating in their mouths.

And then one lady's playing with another lady's vagina. This is neat. Thank you for... Oh, my God. Oh, and they're fingering his bee hole. I don't... Why are you doing this to me? Is this on TikTok?

I'm not seeing this. I don't like it. It's aggressive. I thought you wanted to see TikToks. He's really... She's really fingering his bee hole. And she's fingering her bee hole, too. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm aroused. Whoa. Oh, now he's peeing on both of them again. How did he fill up the tank so fast? I think there's water on set. I'm not so sure I feel about all the pee. There's a lot.

Oh, don't drink the pee. I know she's drinking it. This is definitely European because he's on circumcise. What? What? So now this woman's urinating. And then there's a funnel on her urethra. And then he's drinking it.

I mean, why the drinking of the pee? It's just so unnecessary. Now she's peeing on the other lady. And then he's peeing on both of the ladies. That's pretty cool. How does he have so much pee? That's what we were talking about. Well, do you have an answer in a doth?

You look like you had an answer. I mean, you know, just probably drink like five gallons of water. I mean, it looks like everyone's peeing. All the time. I think for like 30 seconds in a row, which is crazy. Yeah. I do, yeah. I know.

And it keeps... But to me... Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. No, I have a science question. Okay. But don't you... Isn't it hard to urinate when you have an erection?

And he's peeing. Yeah. He's a pro. It can be. But how do you urinate and have an erection and have sex and urinate? Oh, you can see that he's pushing it. Yeah. He's pushing it hard.

You can overpower... He looks like Jeff Tate a little bit, doesn't he? Is that Jeff Tate? That's the craziest part, to piss in your own mouth and then go like that. And she's like... Yeah. You think that's the craziest part? Is he peeing in his own mouth and then he spits it into their mouth?

Look how willing she is. I don't know why people are in the pee-pee. It doesn't... Can't taste it. I don't know. That's such a fun whimsical time. They're so happy. They're having a good time.

Just pushing pee all over the place. I gotta tell you, I got so excited to show you this clip. I don't know. This clip, like, makes me want to be a better man. You know? Yeah. What does it mean to you? I don't know.

I just feel like... I like that it's Santa Claus. I like that he's doing something so outrageous. And, you know, I don't know. It made me really happy. I like that he can aim the urine and catch it in his mouth, because I think that takes a lot of practice. It's not the first time he's ever done it.

How many years do you think it took him to be able to have an erection and urinate into his own mouth? I don't think it takes years, but you can just tell that he is seasoned. But, yeah, he's been practicing. It's just he's done a lot. Can you urinate into your own mouth like that? I mean, I've never tried,

but I also don't think it would be that difficult. Josh, can you urinate into your own mouth? Can you try? I can do it. Yeah, it's not... That is a skill. I don't think that's a special skill. No, it's not like soaking your own dick where it's like...

No, but also, the way that he's so comfortable is because he likes it. He's done it a bunch. Right. You know? This isn't his first breath. No. No, like, he discovered this at, like, 12.

Yeah. At age of 12, probably... Look at his mouth. He's like, I love doing this. Yeah, this is my thing. I wish I had a thing that made me this happy, don't you? Yeah. Like, don't you wish you just had the thing...

I mean, watching this makes me that happy. Yeah, when I asked Tom if he saw the end of the clip and if he saw the funnel stuff, he was like, I want to live longer to see this clip tomorrow. I've never seen Tom that happy. Yeah, why are you into this so much? I don't know.

What is it about? When I first saw it, I laughed so hard, and I was like... My main thing was I wanted to show it to you. Now, I also want to make sure we put this in the bank for Drew and stuff, you know? Sure, yeah. Yeah.

It's a whole new lane for Drew. Because I think we might get one of these out of him. And when his voice grabs his face, or when his voice goes an octave higher, he's like, that's not something you should do. Yeah. I like what he gets upset. I mean, this is pretty cool, though.

Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for thinking of me. That's the nicest part of our marriage, is that you still think of me. And I know, by the way, a lot of people are going to be like, send me the link, send me the link.

And I can't send the link to everybody. Do you know the title? Wasn't it like Uncle Albert's Pool Party or something? I don't know. It was like an XNXX linker. Yeah, but I think it has. I did not look at it. I had a screen recorded because downloading it

got a little tricky. Really? I mean, downloading from porn sites is just kind of tricky. Yeah, it says Albert's Afternoon Party, part two. Oh, OK, guys. That's it. Check it out.

Google that. There you go. Take a look. So this guy looks like Jeff Tay. And speaking of famous people who look like stars, reality stars, we were watching Smothered last night. Oh, my God. Our favorite new reality show.

It actually... Sorry, I just got a message on our... What does the message say? Tell the audience. The audience, OK, I just got a message on our, like, the thing we can read that said, can you please get the clip off so we don't have to look? I don't know why.

It seems pretty awesome to me. I don't know if, like... I liked it. Honestly, I kind of feel the way you do, Tom. Really? I enjoyed it deep down. It didn't bother me so much. Yeah.

I don't like butt stuff. Oh, God. There's Joey. All right. Joey D as in a wig is on the TLC show Smothered. This fucking... Kathy and Christina. This is the daughter's Christina, right?

Can you click on the middle picture? Yeah. Can you zoom in? Is there any way you can zoom in on that? Ooh. Because... Ooh. Is that zoomed in enough?

No. Can you zoom in more? We need to get a better one. That's the max. That's the max. Can you double click on that shit, bro? Yeah. Let's see if we can...

You got it. So anyway, there we go. All right, cock sucker. Here's what happened. Here's what happened. The fucking thing got warrants. So I had to change my whole appearance. Move back to Jersey.

I got a wig. I got tits. That's how I'm living, cock sucker. I even got a pretend daughter. Yo, we were watching this last night and Tom goes, this looks like Joey D as in a wig. I'm sorry, I'm laughing so hard. Because you're right.

I mean... Listen, here's the deal, man. And I will say this for any woman listening. It is a really hard look to pull off to do thick black eyeliner on both the bottom and the top lid. And I'm talking like black, black, black, like chola, goth girl. And then pink, pink light lips. And then you've got like bangs and curly short like...

Dude, here's what... It's not good look. It's not good. It's something I never understood, okay? It's hard to pull off. For this poor woman. I don't understand women's hair. Yeah, it's not a good look.

So I can't tell somebody what you should... But all I know is when something's terrible. And that's a bad hairstyle for that person. I'm telling you, it's a really hard hairstyle to pull off. Especially at her age. It's so dark. It's not... It looks so dated.

It is. It looks like it doesn't... You know, it belongs in another era. Yeah. Like what should she do? Straighten it? Pull it back? Well, she probably has naturally wavy hair.

I would go maybe longer. Not the bangs. I would definitely get rid of those bangs. Yeah. And frame her face better. And the makeup is too heavy. That's another problem. These women...

And they always have these crazy fake eyelashes now. They look like strippers. Everybody looks crazy. You know what she looks like? Like a woman who's like one week into a rehab. Yeah. You know? Like where they're like...

The drugs are just starting to leave my system. Yeah. But obviously... Yeah. You see the effects of them? Yeah, yep, yep. 100%. It's brutal, dude.

It's brutal. Joey doesn't look good here. No, no. It was hard to watch after that. It's a tough life. It's a tough life, cocksucker. That is exactly Joey. Holy shit.

I feel so bad for these men that transitioned to women in their 50s. It sucks because you transition into like an older woman. I like how basically we could convince anybody that that's a man that transitioned to a woman. 100%. Like anybody would believe that. If you're like, oh yeah, this is my uncle Dan and he just transitioned. They'd be like, oh yeah, I can see that. Oh yeah.

Holy shit. Yeah. Oh, that's a rough look. That's an Italian X right there. We got to get Joey in a wig and be like and have him do like an impression. Yeah. Can somebody Photoshop this woman's hair? That's already done.

That's done. I can hear the keyboards clicking everywhere. Yeah. The body and everything around. Yeah. It's just Joey like. Could you imagine if Joey was a woman, if he transitioned? He would look just like this.

He'd be the most savage woman ever. Oh yeah. Come look my pussy, cocksucker. Right? He'd be pissing all over people. Oh my God. He would be a brutal woman. I know.

Yeah. He'd be rad. I'd be friends with him. Oh, as a woman, you'd be like this is the coolest bitch I've ever met. This is the best chick ever, dude. These chicks nuts. Yeah. Oh God.

What do you think? I think he would have to like leave his family and just start getting laid left and right. Right? As a woman? Yeah. I don't know. Because women can get laid anytime. So wait, is Kathy the mom or the daughter?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Can you press play on that? I don't know. Is there like a way to play what it is or no? It's not even registering as a video. Really? Coming up.

I'm guessing Kathy's the mom. That's kind of an older name. Yeah. And Christina's the daughter. Maybe. I'm not sure. Yeah, and there's the other moms. One mom takes her 21-year-old to Vegas and injects her lips.

Yeah, Christina's the young one. Yeah. And injects her, that goes to a doctor that injects her lips way too much. And then they go to a strip club and she gets her daughter lab dances even though the daughter does not want them at all and is mortified. It's so horrible, so hard to watch. It makes me angry the whole time I'm tense watching it. I think a lot of watching that show changes my mood.

Yeah, it makes me angry. Because I get so mad at how overbearing the mothers are. And how much the daughters allow it. I think that's what makes me mad. Yeah, it's actually kind of upsetting to watch. That's how we are. I started getting into the bachelorette too. And that show is so awful.

Like it's so, I'm so embarrassed for everybody. I gotta get you into it. I gotta get you into it. Yeah. Yeah. We'll get into it. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe.

And then we went and saw a movie just to get out of the house the other day. Yeah. And we saw the new Spider-Man. And it was okay. It was fine. It was good. Good enough. It's fine.

I gotta tell you. It's kind of mind blowing when you see how many of these superhero things. And I realize the reason they get made is because they sell a lot of tickets. People keep going to them. But like, you know, compared to just a great movie, great storytelling. Yeah. It's just, it's all green screen special effects. Yeah.

It's like, wow. I mean, I kind of, I don't know. It's kind of depressing. Yeah. And they just, you know, there's a hundred being made every week. There's a new trailer for one. And there's a new, another fucking superhero thing. You're like...

There's so many now. I know. It feels like you don't know what's... Is it far from home? Is that what we saw? I think so. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's right.

Because he goes to Europe. Now, my thing is, I gotta say, aside from Jake Gyllencock, that's what you call him, right? Jake Gyllencock? I think that's what... Isn't that the Atel joke? I don't know. But he's foxy, and I love watching Jake Gyllenhaal.

He is a hottie. However, I did not find the rest of the cast to be attractive enough. For a movie. And this is coming from a person. I am not an actor, a movie actor, you know? I don't... It's not my job. But when I go pay, I want to see hot people.

Look at this guy who's playing the Spider-Man. Yeah. I mean, I don't think he's cute at all. I think you three clowns in the booth are better looking than this guy. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Who is this guy? I don't know.

Tom Holland? I mean, Snoozefest, right? Oh. I mean, this guy looks like he works at a fucking T-Mobile. Right. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I don't see him as a movie.

He's talented. He's fine. Yeah, he's fine. It just didn't... The whole cast I found to be kind of a bow-wow, like they spent money on Jake, and then the lead girl, the girl who plays NJ, she looks like she's 11 years old. She's so skinny and stuff. It was weird seeing her as like a leading sexual woman, because she's so young.

Zendaya? Well, they're like kids, right? I mean, they're like teenagers. But Peter Parker was with, what's her name, Kirsten Dunst? Big ol' titties on the map. Yeah. She had huge cans, and she was a woman. She was an M.J.

The M.J. is a character. M.J. was kind of a 16, 17. Kirsten Dunst's tits could have their own fucking career. They're fantastic. She could act, and then her tits could be like, well, we're doing this. And she's so skinny, skinny, skinny, and she's got them sneaky tits. Yeah. Like, Nikki Glaser has.

Yeah. She got big ol' titties, like Kirsten Dunst. So I don't know. And then they had his best friend, who was like a big fat Asian guy, and he wasn't cute at all. But then his girl was hot. They gave him the hot chick, the blondie, and they didn't put any makeup on anybody. I mean, listen, I just want to see people that are better looking than me when I go

to the movies. Don't you want to see attractive people making out, doing stuff? And by the way, I know people will immediately be like, well, you know how much money this movie made? And it's like, I get that. I mean, Justin Bieber, he's got a lot of money, too. You know, it doesn't mean that I want to fucking celebrate that mediocre talent, you know? And that's where.

Yeah, I just feel like they could have been better. I don't know. They were just looked. Everybody looked like shit. Yeah. See, that's the best friend. This guy, I mean, I don't want to look at this guy for 90 minutes. No.

I want to look at a Jake Gyllenhaal caliber. Right. That's what I'm saying. I agree. I mean, there's a lot of people that should be just excommunicated from filmmaking. Yeah, this fucking fucking. And then Jonah Hill, they put him with what's her name in Superbad. We were talking about that, too.

Emma. Emma Stone. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, give me a fucking break. Superbad. She's too, she's too cute for him, too. Yeah.

That's something in the fucking how many years ago, right? I know. It was, it was distracting to me how unattractive. I mean, look at that guy with her. She looks better than, you know, she's a 10. She's a three on that picture. Well, yeah. I mean, but he's never, I mean, he's always been not a 10.

No, I know. But they could, they could have picked a dumpier girl. You think it's more appropriate for him? Yeah. Yeah. Probably. I wonder how he does in real life. You think he, I mean, he's a celebrity, rich, famous.

You think he crushes it? Yeah. I think anybody that's got a little bit of fame can crush it. There's always someone out there. Does he have a, does he date? Is he like well-known dating somebody or no? I always wonder that, like, I imagine he does pretty well, right? Has a new girlfriend.

Who's the new girlfriend? No. Who's the girlfriend? Model? Gianna Santos. Oh, wow. Let's see. But like Leonardo DiCaprio, that guy bangs models and stuff.

Oh, yeah. Because he's hot though, but Leonardo DiCaprio was hot. Who's, is this her? That's fucking guy. Yeah. Look how beautiful she is. Yeah. She's hot.

She's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Isn't that amazing what fame and money can do? Oh, yeah. Do you realize you could be with a model right now, Tom, and you're stuck with me and these two kids? Oh, I fucking think about it every day. How bummed are you that you got locked in?

So many fucking opportunities right now. On tour too, so you can just plow and fucking try it off. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Are you super bummed that you got famous kind of later in life? Yeah. Look at this guy. Yeah. I'm sure he's a nice person.

Is she a model or something? Or is she like just a regular? She's pretty. Yeah. I don't know. No. I'm not sure. Let me look it up.

Okay. Anyways, it bummed me out to see how unattractive the whole cast was. I kept focusing on it. I was upset. Yeah. I'm used to Kirsten Dunst and the Toby McGuire level looks, you know? Yeah. No, I agree.

It's like, hmm. Wow. Look at these two. I know they're kissing. Joanne Hill's girl from Gianna Santos from the Affairs to Wiki Fact. Okay. What is she? Santos, blah, blah, blah.

I'm in a hard time finding this little Instagram. I don't know. I'll find that bitch on Instagram. Wiki bio. There you go. It tells you what she does right there. What's it say? Anything?

Let's see. It's schooling at NYC. It's studying. It's a stylist and producer. HBO production intern. Yes. Behind the scenes. Okay.

So she's a showbiz person, too. She probably met on a movie or something. I'm going to fucking pull my eyes out trying to get. I know. I know. Dad. All right. Okay.

So I'm here with Max. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

It's coming. Yeah. Okay. So I'm here with my ex's. Come in a cup. And I'm. Add some seasoning. Salt and pepper.

And oh my god. That is . What? What's just happening? She's put some of her ex's. Come on a frying pand. Oh, excess. How does she have a storage?

She stored it? Yes. Ew. But we're going to finish up. I'm frying this and then I'm going to eat it. This should be interesting. What? She's seasoning it.

There's some salt and pepper in it. Wait, why is she doing this? She's fucking awesome. I'm going to hate myself. Why is she eating her ex's cum? I don't know. I'm fried in a pan. Just so you know she's frying her ex's cum and she's eating it.

Why are you doing this? Bottoms up. Why are you doing this? Ah, I don't know. Oh. Oh. I don't want to see this anymore. Fuck you, snap.

Yup. Why are you showing me this? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this? I don't know. It's in the folder. I haven't seen it before. Where is this from?

From you. You sent it to me to prep. I did? Yeah. Oh, I never saw it though. You're like, oh, the subject says frying cum like eggs. Look into it. That makes more sense.

Look into it. Because I have not seen this. Oh, shit. Oh, I like how she's getting back. She's getting him back by eating his cum fried. Yeah, I don't understand. Like, how does that work at all? Like, I'll show you eating your cum.

It's so disgusting. Where's the hot dog going? What's that one called? Look under W, the folders with W. Okay, let's see. Is this it? The fastest hot dog shooter. Oh, yeah.

Watch this guy. You don't know where it's at, probably. Yeah, I've never seen nobody be able to do this. Okay? What? Watch this. I'm just saying. Whoa.

Whoa. Yeah. What, dude? So if you're listening, this guy takes like the uncooked, you know, like the raw. Yeah, I don't like it either. Hot dog and goes and just sucks it down and then he can bring it right back out and he can also do it with multiple. We're gonna go viral with this one.

You think he does drugs? Look. I don't like it. I can't see it. I really can't. I cannot see this. This isn't his windpipe. Yeah.

He's gonna die. It's in his windpipe. I really can't. Whoa. Whoa. She's calling 911 right now. Man. You should not be doing this.

What would you rather do? Try to do that or eat fried cum? I eat fried cum. Really? All day. All day? I eat a fried cum omelet. Ugh.

This is, this will kill you, though. This will kill you. He's putting it in his windpipe, I think. What would you guys rather do? This is dangerous. I think try the hot dog. No. This is so dangerous.

You could die, right? You would? I'd at least give it, give it a college try. I wouldn't go straight to eating cooked cum. Oh, I would. I'd be like, let me try that hot dog. And if it's not going down, that's like. No, it's in your windpipe.

It's so dangerous. You would rather die than eat fried cum? Well, I mean, it looks like that's a learned skill. So I feel like give myself a window to learn it. And then if it works, it works. And if not. It's pretty cool though, right? Not at all.

Thanks, Tom. Yeah. No problem. You upset? Yeah. You took it out. You took your ears out? I don't like to hear it or yeah, I don't like it.

I don't like it. All right. I don't like that. That was fun. All right. We got to get our shit together. Oh my God. Let's play that real quick before we go before our break.

This makes perfect sense. Fart Simpson did a call with his buddy and Fart has done amazing prank phone calls. Here's the setup. He and his buddy call a guy who advertised on Craigslist that he has some Nazi memorabilia and they talk to him and then they get their grandfather on the phone who is played by another than the audio collection that we've compiled from RPC Robert Paul Champagne show. But just the conversation with this guy, it's really fantastic. Let's go ahead and play that.

Hello. Hi. Is this with the Craigslist ad for the German memorabilia? Yes. Is that still available? Yep. Well, can I just compliment you first on this amazing collection? I mean, I want to sell the whole collection together.

I mean, I want the whole thing. Oh, you know what? To me, it's a good account of history. Yeah. That's the way I look at it. It's a good account of history and you know, these idiots taking down the Confederate flags and doing all this bullshit. That's bullshit.

Yeah, I totally agree. How many pictures of Hitler do you have? Like, is this a fewer in a lot of these or is it other? And 90% of them on that one that says Hitler. Okay, so there's a lot of photos in this collection. Oh, hell yeah. That's why I'm asking so much. Okay.

I mean, there is some reproduction stuff in there, but you see how many awards I have and how many different badges and all that and it was a hell of a collection, I tell you. Yeah. But you know, to tell you the truth, the guy took an impoverished country and made it pretty big. I mean, we can't argue with history, right? I mean, it was a...

Exactly. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Is there only one Swastika flag? Oh, no, there's a ton of that stuff, but that's only flag. In fact, that one I actually bought separately from an old lady that said that her mom made it, but I don't know, you know. Wow.

Where's the price on here? It showed it on the titles and somewhere, 10 grand or one. Oh, 10,000. 10 grand. Oh yeah, of course. It's easily worth 10 grand. Yeah. I actually...

It's surprising I came across this because my grandpa was in World War II as well. He's in America now, but yeah, he still is. He's still picking, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I showed my grandpa the Craigslist ad and he... I mean, he doesn't speak that much anymore, but he was, I mean, it brought a tear to his eye. Wow.

Yeah. I just don't want some crazy person to come over here and want to destroy it or something, you know? My grandpa was the one, he likes to go on Craigslist because he's been looking for stuff like this and he kind of wanted to talk to you just briefly because he's really thankful that you have collected a lot of stuff. Is that okay? That's fine.

All right. I'm just going to put him on real quick. So... What's your name? Dominic. I'm Ed. Hi, Don. I'm Tumen.

I said... But when I'm not sure... Wait, can I look at what guys do? I try to order things. I need them. You try to order some? That phone's good, but... I think he has so much on the phone that this can hold too much in.

Oh, yeah? And when I'm gone, I'm going like Dominic. I'm confused. What do you mean? Whee! He's got a lot of pride in his country and what he fought for. Yep. Yep.

I heard him. You know, the thing is, you know, it's just so taboo in some places. It sucks, you know? We have to defend our country, you know? It's going to take it over and it's just what happened in Germany. It was going to take it over and so we had to do something. Yeah, I agree. Well, I'll tell you what.

I'm glad I'm not going to be here in 25, 30 years because it's going to be a third-world country. Here we go again. Yeah. I trust Eric for my grandkids. Well, you think Mirko's the right person? No, no. No, huh?

No, she's weak. It should be a man. I agree. Did you vote for Trump, too, then? Of course. Come on. Whee! We don't even know who's coming in this country.

I want to know who's coming in here. Sure. No, no, no. What they're thinking. You know that? We're doing the best we can with that border. Well, I am so excited for this collection. I'm going to really take great care of it and, you know...

But how are you going to come and you're going to bring cash? I have 10 grand in cash. Okay. Thank you. Call tomorrow and I'll stop by. Do you mind saying goodbye to my grandfather, Dominic? Sure. Hey, Dom.

All right. Ready? Okay. Hey, Dominic, you have a good night, okay? I'm looking for hardcore guys. I mean it. I want to do it. I want to deliver it.

But you got to fuck me. Hey! I need to be fucked a lot, man. Okay. And then from jail, homeless or a thug. So what are you going to do with them? Fuck me. I'm going to beat me.

Home, you know. All right, Dominic. Try it out, man. Okay. I'm a hot fuck. My trash. Come to the fuck. What are you doing, Dominic?

I'm going to fuck a piss. Let me try it out. All right. Talk to you later. Bappy kinky. Yeah, that would be fine. Oh, my God. That's Fart Simpson and Jake Silberman, obviously aided by some RPC recordings.

That was amazing. That was really great. And that was a really cool guy. How did he find that lunatic? On Craigslist. The guy's like, I have German memorabilia. Yeah. It's so astounding that anybody would pay for that.

Ten large, he wants. I know. People, I guess, yeah. I don't know. I told you, one time I worked for a man. I worked for a guy in my 20s who wanted me. He was a German guy who had Nazi memorabilia posters. At work?

At work. I was an assistant. And he showed me the poster one day. He goes, you know, I've collected all these and he unscrolls it and he goes, I want you to go down and get these framed. And I go, I won't, I can't, I can't, I can't, like I cannot take this shit to Aaron Brothers. Like, could you frame this? Can you frame this for my boss?

No. I told him, no. I said, no way. No way. It's crazy. I didn't want to frame this shit for. All right. Frame it in the trash.

Oh, God. You're one of these, huh? Chew lovers. Yeah. All right. Frame it. Okay. Psycho.

I am going to be traveling a bunch this summer. I'm on tour. I'm on vacation. I'm going everywhere, man. I'm going from Hampton Beach to Burlington, Vermont, all over Canada. Then I come back and I go to where? I don't know. I end up in Europe.

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Hi, mommies. Thanks, Jeans. It's me, your mommy, Tina. Tommy is on the road, so I am plugging his dates for him. Tom is doing the Beacon Theater November 7th in Jewdork titties. That is New York City for you lay people. Tickets are on sale now. Also just added November 6th in Kingston, New York and Charlotte, North Carolina.

I'm sorry, Charlotte, North Carolina on November 13th. Where is Kingston, New York? Have you ever heard of Kingston, like Jamaica? I don't have my earpieces and I can't hear you anyway. All right, check those and all his other dates out at tomsegura.com slash tour. For myself, mommies, Christina P. Online, September 5th, Milwaukee, September 6th, Chicago, September 7th, Boston, AKA, Momston, October 3rd through 5th, Nashville, Tennessee, October 17th, Sperm Vine, California.

Just added that one, November 22nd, Meat Rattle, Washington, and then November 23rd, Portland, Oregon. Also, check back for my 2020 dates. I will be adding those shortly and momma's going to pick up touring a bit more. Okay, I love you, I love you. Back to the show. I love that. I've never been happier to not have my wife around because with me today is not exaggerating

my very first crush ever, I hope she likes me, it's, listen Milano, I cannot believe I even get to say that. You are definitely my first crush. I was. Am I disappointing you right now though? Are you kidding me? No, this is awesome. Because I feel like a lot of pressure when people say that.

Really? Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, now I'm 46. You're beautiful. Thank you. Look, she's not here. You're gorgeous. Thank you.

When she gets here, I'll be like, she's fine. Thank you. You're smoking. Right now, I used to think, I remember when I used to watch, who's the boss, I would get upset when Tony Danza would walk on, get the fuck out of here, I want to see Alyssa. But I used to think that when I was a kid, I don't know if you ever had this, I used to think if you learned the person's name, that you had a shot with them. That's all it took?

Because I would be like, I don't know, five or six, I'd be like, what is her name? And then, if I found out your name, I was like, all right, I probably can connect with her now. That's really cute. It was kind of cute. It's kind of cute. Now you know. Because then what would happen?

Yeah, and then you could tell other people, like, if they were like, oh, you know, who do you like? You're like, it's a girl named Alyssa, don't worry about it. And I would think that that gave me an advantage, like, yeah, why don't you fucking mind your own business? Who do you like? Talking to Alyssa later today. And now I am talking to Alyssa.

So it only took 35 years, but here we are. Never give up. Never give up. And first of all, okay, you have a lot of, we were talking about parenting just a moment ago. Yeah. So there's a lot of, like you started in showbiz so young, and you know, it's one of the big, like a lot of people have like knocked that, they'll be like, don't fucking throw your kid

into showbiz. Right. But I've heard you say that, like, you know, you had a great childhood and I did. I think it actually saved me in a lot of ways. Why? Because I'm dyslexic, first of all. So I think being in a normal school environment would have been hard for me, especially at that time when they didn't really understand learning differences.

And then I was a very introverted, artistic kid. So to be able to have that outlet in a way that it was encouraged and nurtured that aspect of who I was and that critical thinking and creative thinking, I think really helped me. But I also have to say, I have exceptional parents. Well, that's nice. Like on my way here, my mom was calling and calling and calling. And I got into your lobby and I said, you know, I better call my mom back and make sure everything's okay.

That's sweet. So you have a good relationship. Yeah. And I picked up the phone. I was like, hi, everything okay? She's like, yeah, I'm just making the meatballs. Sweet mom. Sweet mom that never came to sit with me.

She always hired a guardian, which I think was also important. Was that to like to not to be overbearing and everything? No, I think she had a life. Oh, she's like, I got shit to do too. Yeah, I got shit. And I had a younger brother. I'm a big fan of that. Yeah.

I had a younger brother and it was important for her to be around for him when he got home from school and to make dinner and make sure the meatballs were on the table. And I just think I think I would not have done any of it differently. And I, you know, I joke about like, well, I never got to go to prom and, you know, some of those things, all of those things that I think, you know, the grass is always greener, but I think it, I think it was good for me. It's gotta be weird. Like, so it's gotta be famous, such a weird experience and a weird thing to be to, you

know what I mean? To go through. The other thing is, was it easier for me to go through it at a young age and that's what's interesting. Part of who I was rather than have a certain sense of, of being anonymous. And then, you know, in my 20s, all of a sudden being famous, I think that is probably harder. You think so? I think skyrocketing to fame is no matter your age.

Like if you just get something like one thing that makes you unbelievably famous, no one's prepared for that and nobody adjusts usually perfectly to that. Incremental, I don't know, but it was for you. It would have been like just out of nowhere, right? Because it would have been... No, I had done theater beforehand, so I had worked for a few years. Did you feel like ready for it when it happened? I thought it was weird and I remember being...

People staring and... Yeah, and whispering and thank God this was before paparazzi followed people around because that would have been a whole other element. But I remember feeling a sense, mind you, I was very young, so I don't remember a lot of it, but I'll tell you what I do remember. I remember making... It making me feel uncomfortable that there was a potential that the people that I was with were uncomfortable.

I remember feeling like... I remember this one time we went to Disneyland as a family and it got a little hectic and I remembered feeling so almost bad for my parents that they had to deal with that fear of having... You're like, I did this? Just like, yeah, I'm sorry that this is something that you have to go through. It's like you became a burden because of your... I felt like I was a burden.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good way to put it. That's a... I mean, that's just... It feels like... I don't know. You imagine as an adult, I imagine to me, I would think that it'd be a really... I think about now with stranger things, you know, I'm like, damn, these kids got so famous

as teens. And then you went through something very similar, even younger, I think. Think that we have to look at people's families and really, it's my opinion that kids that grew up in the business that end up fucked up would have been fucked up no matter what they did. Interesting. Right? That's also the same point.

Now it's different because weed is basically legal. Right. There used to be always this thing that like, if you do weed, man, you're going to end up a fucking mess, right? And the thing was, some people did, but I think they would have ended up a mess regardless. It wasn't like pot fucking ruined their life. It was like they're fucking gonna fuck up their life anyway. Yeah.

I mean, I think when you look at these, you know, let's give me an example. I don't want to say no, but give me an example of a child star that ended up fucked up. Fucking... Who's a... Okay. I don't know. Leif Garrett. I don't even know who that is.

So if Leif... I really don't. Yeah. He was, I think before even my generation, maybe someone a little bit more relevant. Yeah. Who's a new... Okay. I mean, I don't want to fuck.

Now you feel, I don't feel mean, but like he was fucked up for a while and then he's not Macaulay Culkin, right? Right. Yeah. But look at that family, right? Yes. It's a lot of kids. There is a divorce that went on.

You know, I feel like if any of these kids just took the more traditional route of like going to school and going to college or whatever, they would have had a... They would have struggled regardless. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So and I think being in the industry sort of amplifies the opportunity of fucking up. But you know, you make the choices that you make in life based on what you think is right and wrong and that's usually based on your upbringing. So yeah, so like that, I think it was good for me.

Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Did you ever imagine... So I did a little refresher, but like did you imagine that you would be as involved like politically and as an activist? Because you... You know, I looked up this thing and I was kind of blown away where I think it was in the 80s where didn't you...

You said that like it was about AIDS, HIV, was it? What's his name? Ryan White. So here's when my life changed and I think similar to not remembering what my life was like before fame. I don't really remember what my life was like before fighting for injustices. So you know, in the 80s, which was the height of who's the boss, we were a top 10 show at the time.

It was for people that don't know, that shit was massive. Yeah. There's four channels. Right. So when you're a top 10 show, it's like 25 million people are watching your show. It was crazy. And with it came a frenzy of this pop teen icon era, right? And so there were a lot of teen magazines and I would be on the cover of those two magazines

and it was sort of the height of my, even now of my popularity was in the 80s. And I got a phone call from Elton John one day just to give you an idea of how obscure my life really was. That's gotta be. Yeah. It was crazy. And he said, I met this little boy, his name is Ryan White, and you're his idol and he would like to meet you.

So at the time, the stigma surrounding HIV AIDS was at its absolute worst. We had no idea about the disease. They were, they were feeding us information, false information about how I contact will give you AIDS. That's right. Yeah. How the disease was contracted. And so this little boy, Ryan White's school kicked him out of school because they said

that he could give AIDS HIV AIDS to other students, which of course was not true. And he fought to go back to school and actually won. And he spoke in front of Congress and just he was 15 years old and he was a hero. And he and I became friends and he asked me to kiss him on the Phil Donahue show to prove that you could not get HIV AIDS from casual contact. Now here's before I got to ask you because it's, it's, it's impressive that because at the time everybody is like even adults are feeding us this misinformation that as a kid, you don't know is misinformation when I'm in seventh grade or whatever, they're

like, you know, you can shake hands with someone and then you got AIDS and you're like, what the fuck? Like there's people telling you, like, don't share cups and, you know, I remember even famous Sharon Stone did an interview back. I remember it was, she had done a movie with like Rock Hudson and she was like, I fucking might have AIDS. Like we kissed and so, but this is also without, you know, it's not like today where you know all this information.

So how are you so well informed? So because he and I had built a friendship, I did have the information. And because I was such a cheerleader for him going through his, his journey to be, to be heard, I had the information. So I knew, and I mean, still a scary thing. And I remember having this conversation with my parents of, you know, I wasn't scared of that I would ever contract HIV AIDS. I was scared of people bullying me about this moment in my life.

Right. And I remember my parents saying to me, other people don't matter. Nobody, it doesn't matter what other people say. If you feel like this is something you want to do, we support you and we think it's important. And so I had their support. And, you know, it was the moment that changed my life because here was the deal. It was like, I almost felt guilt about having a certain amount of success at such

a young age, but this put it all in perspective. I was like, oh, this is what the, what it means to be famous. This is what having a platform means. And I got that really distinctly. Did they know that you were going to do like when you did the Phil Donahue show? No, yes, this was coming. OK, so you're like, this is going to happen. Yes. OK. And then it must have been, because I don't recall it, but was that like a huge

thing? It was a pretty big deal. I mean, there's, I still to this day have people come over to me and say, you know, I remember seeing really Phil Donahue show and, you know, you changed my mind. And, and, you know, I think it was, it was the right, it was the right thing for me. It was a blessing to be given that gift at such a young age to put in perspective what it all meant. So that moment, what success and fame meant, right? That moment changed for you. And you're like, I'm definitely going to be involved in things in, in, in, in.

Yeah, but I do have to say, I was raised very socially and politically aware. You were my dad was part of the student strike in the 60s. So there were very specific lessons that my parents instilled in my brother and I about human rights. Yeah. And what it means to be a good person. This is another, this is an audio drop from a, you know, towels can have AIDS towels could have AIDS. You know, and that's from no 2015. That's Pat Robertson from the 700 Club.

This person says, I'm planning to go on a mission trip to Kenya in December. I believe that God heals today and I'm not consumed about the chance of contracting Ebola. I'm also a person who's willing to take practical precautions. Do you think there are undue risks that we do not know about and the dangers are higher than perceived here in America? Not in Kenya. You might get AIDS in Kenya. If people have AIDS, you got to be careful.

I mean, the towels can have AIDS. They could. The towels could not have AIDS. The towels could have AIDS. I'm here to tell you and everyone that's watching this that towels cannot transmit or have AIDS. Yeah. Oh, my fucking god.

And that guy has a big platform and that's what he uses his for. Yeah. Yeah. This is four years ago. And we wonder how we got here right now. Yeah. Yeah. Tells his audience every day and you get it from towels when you're drying off in the hotel. Yeah, you don't know. You don't know.

You don't know. You could be taking off your makeup. Somebody could have had AIDS, used that towel, then you're using the towel. Now, you got AIDS. Yeah. Yeah. So it's always good to get good information from reliable sources. So.

It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing for people. I'm just embarrassed for people. So recently you were you were a hot topic, man. You got all kinds of like it was actually probably very effective in the sense that it just became such a polarizing thing when you brought up the sex strike. Yeah. So I think I was so.

Did you expect it right? Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. So I was so fucking frustrated that no one was talking about these abortion bans that were popping up throughout the entire country. And nobody was talking about the news was like, you know, covering Trump's misspellings in his tweets. Yeah, not covering the fact that women were having our rights stripped away. Right.

Georgia, Missouri, Tennessee, Texas. I mean, Texas, they actually had a debate on whether women that have abortions should get the death penalty. Legit. Yeah. Right. So I don't know how I feel about that. Pro life.

Yeah. And yet. So for people that don't know, though, just like for the sake of the conversation, recently, several governors have gotten behind these new proposed abortion laws that would make it not only more difficult to get abortions like early on in a pregnancy, but also that would punish severely providers, providers and the women who did it even in cases like this is explicit of rape and incest, which is that was really one of the big

you know, like glowing points of this is like even in rape and incest. They're like, yes, like even in those cases, you should still, which obviously brought it to it was, you know, became big news. But so go go with. Well, it didn't really become big news. Well, it was it was non news. It was non news and became. Yeah.

And that was my frustration. So I was like, what can I do that would actually make this more of a talk? Make this more of an issue and make people see the severity of what's happening right now. Like tell the audience like what so what did you propose so that a sex strike, meaning, meaning it's fucking too dangerous for women to have sex because what if we got pregnant? So this way don't have sex until this is basically resolved.

Well, if you're going to implement these bans, we should not have sex. Mm hmm. So, I mean, you know, it was kind of a stunt in a way. And yet it's still got the conversation going. And, you know, MSNBC, CNN, everybody started covering it, which and Fox News started covering it. But they Fox News likes to talk about me almost every single day. Really? Yeah.

Why do they talk about you? I think because I'm effective and they want to discredit me. I saw that our dear leader President Trump, he tweeted that he's actually mad at some of the Fox News people now. I know. Did you see that? He's mad at the weekend anchors. He said they're even worse than some of the liberal talk about

shitting where you eat. Yeah. I mean, that's like you're those are your dogs right there. Yeah. Yeah. You're mad at them. You can't be mad at them. This lady also, I don't know if you've ever seen her.

I forget her name. Do you remember her name? Sharzad. Sharzad. She went on a, well, she went on a strike of her own. Oh, yep. Give me a second. Okay.

It's our first week. All right. Okay. Ladies, I want to do a video about guys and their calm. Guys are always wanting us to love their calm, to just love licking it and having it on our bodies and swallowing it. That same guy will never even touch his own calm or taste his own calm.

I've seen this happen so many times with guys. I have it on like I'm rubbing it in and I swallow and I do all the stuff with it, but that same guy, if his hand accidentally brushes against the his come on my body, he's like, oh, what's that? And if I swallow his come in and kiss him, he's like, no, no. I mean, here's the thing. It's a good point.

I think we should go on strike against calm, a calm strike. I from now on, I am only going to swallow the calm of a man or put on my body to come of a man who is willing to touch it or kiss me afterward. I mean, valid. Yeah. I mean, like I get it. I totally get it.

She's getting the conversation started. People are talking about it. Yep. I don't know if Fox will pick this up. I don't know if Fox will. If you if you you're here, so they might, if you throw in like dead babies, you know, quote unquote, that the calm is actually, you know, also a way of making babies, they might, yeah, yeah.

I have come all over my face. So there's a. I kind of love her. She's great. She's fantastic. What's her name again? Charzad. Yeah, Charzad.

Yeah, we played her clip. She was like, you should have me on your show. I feel like she's my new best. Do you like her? I do. Do you want to see some of your most vocal detractors? Just give you a chance. Like these are like some of the most articulate, sophisticated men.

Sure. Who are not on your side. What's up on my Instagram? I'm going to roll today because women are fucking stupid. OK, they're fucking stupid. OK, I don't understand. Pause. That is not Nick Kroll in makeup for one of the cavemen ads.

That's just a regular guy. Is this a Geico commercial? That's what it feels like. It is not. So difficult for good guys to meet a fucking sane woman. Yeah. I don't understand why everyone was a fucking stupid idiot. OK.

Do you have anything to say? Like, I feel like my soul was just pierced. I feel like my soul was just pierced. I feel like it. I've seen him a few times. Like I had soul piercing just then. I mean, here's the thing, too. He makes some good points.

He's, you know, he's just a smart guy who wants to meet a smart lady. Uh-huh. Why do women? This was on his Instagram? Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't have your followers, but. I don't understand it. I just don't.

You understand we are in the situation we are in because woman ate the apple. It is woman's fucking fault. By the way, is he reading something? Like, did he write this beforehand? I think it's just a stream of consciousness. Oh, you think? I don't know.

It looks like he's reading. Look at his eyes. I don't understand it. I just don't. You understand we are in the situation we are in because woman ate the apple. It is woman's fucking fault. Give me back my fucking rib and go back to where the fuck you came from.

See, actually, I think he's mad because, well, a lot of things. What is in the background, by the way? What the fuck is that? Is that like female taxidermy? Like victims? Yeah, it could be. All right, because it's bullshit. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? He's a costume designer. He's a costume designer. He worked on 7th Heaven. He was on. Anyway, are stupid. There you go.

OK, we got to move on next. Yeah, you get it or not. I get it. I totally get it. OK, show me another one, though. Show her like a cool guy. Not such an upset guy. You know what I mean?

That guy, not a guy in prosthetics. Yeah, that guy was so mad. I don't understand. He's so angry at women. Who do you? Oh, oh, yeah. Here's a possible. This guy has a much different approach.

OK, OK. So last guy was super aggro. Right. This guy, by the way, he's watching MSNBC. He's a, you know, he's a progressive guy, but he just has a different approach to getting the ladies. OK, I've been on here.

I've been polite. I've been kind. I've been honest and sincere. Well, I'd like to have some right on my lips. I would like to have some titties around my face. I would like to have some sex. I'd like to have. What are you?

What are you feeling? I mean, I what year was this? This is 2019, I think. Yeah, or 18, maybe. Yeah, within the last year. So, I mean, he I'm surprised he's not a part of the Trump administration, to be honest with you. I mean, this is his whole kiddies on the face.

Isn't that the whole titties titties titties titties? I thought he said no, he wants some titties. I'd like to have some nucky on my lips. I would like some titties and he's being. He's like, I'm honest and sincere, and I'm asking friendly. Yeah. And like, because you don't know if you don't ask.

That's it. You don't know if you don't ask. That's a good point. And I would say it might not work for everyone, but it's a it's a good way to maybe make it happen. Is there more to this video? Unfortunately, I need it. I needed my life.

I can make a love to you. I'm not like one of these young men or these little boys. They get their cells off and then, oops, they don't care about their partner. Oh, I'll make you come. Oh. Well, are you interested? I'm just so confused by the whole thing,

the couch and the Native American statue in the back. Yes. And the MSNBC and the reflection of the glasses. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's just so much. Yeah, I'll make you come. No, thank you.

OK. Sex strike. Did you just extend it? This is why. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of more interesting men out there. We all have a different approach. Do we have more? There's definitely more.

You know, this guy is. This is Robert Paul Champagne, a.k.a. the try it out guy. Black guys love to fuck and fuck good. If you're a hot black guy, you want to fuck me at twenty three ninety five. If you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me. I need to be fucked a lot, man.

Get free food, free rent and everything else. OK, there's a deal, man. So that's also he's offering free food, free rent. You get a lease and a key. All you got to do is show up and fuck them. Which OK, let's pick. No, I can't. I know where you're going and I can't.

To I mean, if you know, I'm not. Humans would cease to exist. That's it. The it would be over. Humans would cease to exist. The Cool Guy Club. Those are all cool guys. That's why we put them in the Cool Guy Club.

They. But is he wearing that bow on his head? No, it's just it's just sitting back there. So you want something fascinating, though? Like truly fascinating to me. Yeah, we found this video that you're watching right now, like two years ago, right? And like saw it and we're like, this guy's out of his mind. And, you know, played it, had fun with it,

assumed that we would never, ever learn anything else about it. He just feels like it's one of those things that are shot in the dark room. Dude, two years later, we found him and we just sent one of our guys, Josh, who you met to his apartment and we did a like a 30 minute interview with him. And he's a real human. He's a real dude and he's not.

This is not an exaggeration of his life. Sorry, that was a burp. That was awesome. And I swear it's because I'm a little nauseous. OK, this is a fart, Mike, if you have to fart. I don't have to fart. OK, I don't. I actually don't fart. You never fart. I don't.

Because of a great diet. I believe it. I'm just asking. Yeah, I just don't. Really? Yeah, it's a true story. Man, you really are. I may have farted once in childbirth. That's it. Yeah. And I was mortified.

That was a good burp. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I can burp. Yeah. Can you? Yeah. Do you want a soda? No, believe me, keep showing me these videos. You're going to throw up. Are you all out of cool guys? Are you like, I am good?

I mean, if you've got more that you want to share, please do. This guy's just good for you. You have a you have a husband. If you want to maybe try something to enhance. Am I the only person that is fascinated by the like the environment in which you're making these videos? You are an astute observer. Do you know who actually leads with that?

When analyzing and assessing these videos when we bring them on is Dr. Drew. Oh, OK. Dr. Drew's first thing. He's like, let's look at this very, very destructive and uninviting environment. And he he actually leads a lot of his assessments with the environment. It's not the four seasons.

Bad because I feel I feel like I'm being a little judgmental and, you know, there's a there's a point where you go to each his own and it's consensual and I would say you are spot on and judging these guys. You should really. Yeah. OK. Yeah. These guys are so I'm not like the liberal left,

like the super fringe left is not going to come after me. And if there's anything we should all agree on, whether we're Democrats or Republicans, is that these guys are fucked up. All right. Everybody should agree on that. Before you have sex. If you want to be horny for two or three hours, like you've never been in your life and you have access

to marijuana to good weed, listen to me. True weed alone can get you really horny or the normal, but Ben Endrell, take about 10, 12 Ben Endrell before you want to have your sexual fun with your partner or whatever you do, your master bedroom. I'd be I'd be in a coma. But here's the thing. Maybe he meant give your partner 12 Ben Endrell.

Take them and just go right up to that line of pre coma. This is how you enhance the sexual experience. I mean, who? Take him tonight. See what happens to see. But then you smoke your marijuana. You'll see. He gives about an hour later when you feel it just kicking in, smoke your weed down. And then go ahead and get horny.

And I promise you, it'll be millions and times more. You'll be so blissfully horny that you will not want to come. OK, I'll tell you this. Dr. Drew said he's not right. He said we shouldn't do this. He said it's really it's too many Ben Endrell. I'm just letting you know if you were thinking about trying it tonight. Yeah, nope.

It's hardcore fun for sure. But it's not advisable. Is he in his closet? That's his living area. He ended up making more videos that we played. But yeah, there's we feature a lot. So people give me shit about calling for a sex strike. Yeah, meanwhile, or for starting, you know, a hashtag me too,

where there's so much. By the way, did you start that hashtag? I it was coincidental. Yes, I had no idea of Tarana Burke's work beforehand. So I tweeted out the hashtag within like 12 hours. It had fifty three thousand comments. Fuck. Yes, it's been used in 85 different countries throughout the world, which is crazy and 85 different languages.

But yeah, so it was such a happy coincidence because when I learned of Tarana's work, I actually had this. This almost like the sigh of relief because I felt like it was so much bigger than I knew how to handle. Yeah. And that wasn't my area of expertise as far as my activism went. Like that wasn't my wheelhouse. So to have this incredible, strong, amazing woman

to nurture this this hashtag into a real movement, it really blew up. I mean, you know, it is like one of the defining I don't know, like things of the last two years, for sure. Like it and I think it was a perfect storm, right? Yeah, I don't know that if Trump were president, that it if he was not president, if it would have taken off the way it did. I think women, you know, we we all saw the grab them by the pussy video. And then he was elected president and he beat a woman.

And then you could sort of sense that they were going to try to roll back women's rights. And so women were concerned, they were worried, they were fearful. Yeah. And I think that it enabled people to stand in solidarity or women to stand in solidarity or I should say, sexual abuse of survivors to stand in solidarity with each other, but not have to like name name the abuser or exactly what had happened. It was more about this has also happened to me

and this is a problem that we need to deal with it. Yeah. And there's I mean, it seems like it's begun. Well, you know, we obviously saw some high profile people get in some cases called out, in some cases reprimanded, in some cases arrested and, you know, charged with up, you know. But I think that was that was kind of the impetus for me sending out that that original tweet was that I was so it was always the story of the abuser. That we were focusing on focusing on and paying attention to.

Yeah. And still to this day, you know, we have these broad numbers of, you know, 20 women have come forward against Trump and sexual abuse. Yes. And yet we don't really know specific stories. They're sort of lumped together. That's true. There was and there was one recently, right? The lady came out recently. I'm sorry. I don't know her name. Jean Carol. Is that her name? Recently.

He's like, I never met her. And then there's like a photo of them at a party, like talking to each other. And then he has this thing of like, which he always goes to. She's not my type, which is so fucking gross. And but but it doesn't seem to like it's I mean, I know that, you know, there's certain things like when you're president, like, you know, they there's basically kind of a standing rule that they're not going to indict a sitting president.

But, you know, he seems to just have this way of being like, yeah, no, that's not I didn't do that. And every day I wake up angry at like another thing. But today I woke up angry at the media in its dismissiveness of all of his. Fuck ups. Yeah. You know, spanning his entire life, basically. And I feel like the media really validated his candidacy. And it drove me fucking crazy to watch the Democratic debate.

Yeah, well, because, you know, we had we had Andrew Yang and like Marion Williamson, who are two outsiders, right? Who were kind of the equivalent of what Trump was in 2016 when he ran. Yeah. And yet they did not give those two people the time of day. And yet they completely embraced the Trump candidacy. Right. As being legitimate. And yet here are two people that are actually making to their policy and their platform are pretty substantial, right?

Like Andrew Yang is saying, because of automation, nobody's going to have a job. So we have to figure out what the fuck that means for the people of this country. What are people going to do when automation completely takes over? And he's got this, you know, giving people a thousand dollars a month to do whatever they want to do with it. Hopefully put it back into the economy, which might lift people out of poverty, right, which I think we can all agree this country should work towards that. Yeah. And then Marion Williamson, who is actually putting

the soulful aspect of what's happening back into the conversation. So it's not all about politics. It's about humanity. And she's sort of coming at it as a humanitarian. Both very legitimate things to say, right? And then you look at someone like Trump, who we totally legitimized with not having an answer for anything, by the way, how are you going to do this? I'm going to hire the best people.

Well, what makes you think you could run for president? Well, I run businesses. Yeah, like did not have a platform at all. And yet he was totally legitimized. It kind of reminded me of when you're when you're in high school and somebody runs for like class president, the way that like most people like what you'll see happen. And I remember talking to people about this in different like what's

different high schools was like the more grand and popular and kind of crazy and funny, you can make your speech. Everybody goes like, that's the guy. Now, there's there's low stakes in that. But you're like, but you end up going like, oh, it's like just kind of steal the limelight and you'll win. And it like basically translated into the highest stakes. Right. In the presidency.

Because he look, the one thing that he definitely knows how to do is get attention. He's he's good. He knows how to say things. He knows how to distract. So yeah, get attention to deflect. But he's I mean, it's a sound bite. He understands all that. He it's a it's actually a skill set.

It's a skill set to understand like this is how you get people to keep talking about you. This is how you, you know, deflect something bad about you. He does understand how to how to like orchestrate that. And yeah, I mean, it's funny because media is always definitely complicit in giving attention or in deflecting attention from things that they could either focus on or dismiss. Like, and a lot of times they're doing the opposite. They're giving attention to shit.

You're like, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly. Why are you paying attention to this? Or they're just like having like a little scroll ticker about something that you're like, that should be like your lead story, right? I mean, yeah, they're they're definitely complicit in all of it. In all of it. And I also think I also think that there is, you know, of course, the hindsight is 2020. But as I am thinking about what is going to happen in 2020,

yeah, I hope that there is a candidate that can actually speak to the people that Trump spoke to, because I do think that that is a very important element. It is not talking about. And by the way, I don't know that any of the candidates are actually doing. I don't think so, either. They are not saying, I know that you are busting your ass and you're still living below the poverty line.

I fucking get it. Yeah. And I'm going to fix it. You know why I'm going to fix it? Because we got to this point making bad choices. We could get out of this making good choices. We're going to do it. And I don't feel like anyone is speaking to those people. And I think that's what he did.

He did do that. And like he, you know, look, he went into it with like whatever you want to call it. But it is some type of plan, some type of, you know, agenda that he he did. Well, you know, like what he ended up doing was not. I don't think it's all a happy accident for him. I think that he's like, we're sticking to this. And what I'm saying is that that that worked, whatever he did, worked.

He won, right? Yeah. And I don't know that like I don't feel like I saw a lot of people kind of go like, this is definitely, you know, he'll definitely be defeated in this next one. There's no chance. I am terrified. I don't think that that's the case. I don't think that's the case either. I don't think I don't think we can get lazy.

And I think these candidates really have to step up. I love them all. I think they're all great. But there's not one person where I'm saying, yeah, that guy can. That's the person. That's the person that's going to turn this country around. And and I almost would likely say this, but like it is a it is a fascinating show to watch like the the the theater of of the debates, the electrics of all of all.

Yes, but it is like a fucking reality show. It is. Here's the problem is that we look at these networks, right? Like MSNBC, Fox, CNN, they're obviously one sided. They're it to me, it is we become addicted to the drama of that entertainment. Absolutely. And so people are not getting real fucking news because people align themselves with what they want to hear. Everybody who's like, well, that's what friendships are for.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's not what the news is. I agree with you. It's a problem. So like, should the FCC, do you think the FCC should start regulating these or not or make sure that they're not called news networks, call them like news entertainment? It's like, you know, I do think that it's crazy when somebody watches either one

of the personality driven news shows and goes like, I watched the news. Like, you don't watch the news, do you? No, you watch opinion pieces. And you're telling yourself that's the news. I feel like the last I don't even know if they're still on. This is how much I'm removed from it. But like PBS would do the the news hour. Jim Lair used to host it.

I don't know who it is now. That was like the one of the last nightly news. Yes, nightly news kind of things where it's like, here is the report, right? Like, here's here's what happened today. Now it is no bias. Here's what I remember. Here's the facts. I feel like 10 years ago, I remember that I feel like CNN,

definitely 20 years ago, would be like, here's just news, like, objective news. And then I remember even like a decade or so ago seeing, watching that and being like, this dude just like totally dropped his personal opinion in it. Right. And then it felt wrong. I was like, why is he like, like he commented on it and kind of like

rolled his eyes at something. And I was like, that's CNN. I mean, now everybody that's normal, right? But I think it's it's like we grew up on Tom Broca. That's right. You know, and Tom Broca, like some people don't even know he is a really liberal guy. You would never know that watching NBC Nightly News.

Never. He would just get back to that. Do you have any ideas? I don't know. I mean, I show you guys fucking. I mean, basically, basically these guys are as this might be a look at him. Look, what's he? What's it? I haven't even seen this one, actually.

I don't know what this is. Who's this? Oh, oh, oh God. Oh, God, I can't look. Tell me when it's over. Baby. Yeah. Oh, OK.

See, it's good. Feels good. I wouldn't know what the thought process is behind. I'm going to turn on this. You know, it's funny. I won't. Is this his whole video? What did?

Did he just? Oh, my God. Sex strike. Hashtag sex right. Wow. I will say this, a lot of women ignore the nipple. And it's a it's a sensitive part. I just want to know.

We are fucking having our own thing going on. Join us. No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing? I'm. Hi. How is your son? Oh, it's messed up.

Oh, no. Hi. Nice to meet you. Did they give him a nebulizer? Yes. Yeah. You know what? Make it make it like a rocket ship.

That's what we used to do with. What do you mean? OK. You know how they they give you the little mask? Yes. With the machine and you put the medicine. We used to build like like a fort rocket ship and make it seem like and we we we had these clear plastic cups

with elastic bands. I actually have pictures I could show you. Show me. Where Dave and I would put on the plastic cups and pretend like we were in rocket ships. And that's how we got him to do it. Does he have asthma now? He doesn't have asthma.

But what did he have like? Because they're like he might be. A bronchial infection that didn't go away. But it eventually went away. It did. Was it like recurrent? Like how many times? Yeah, because that's what's happening.

And it's his weakness still. If he gets a cold or something, it'll always go into his chest. See, that's what we have going on. Except the doctors like could be pre-asma or could just disappear into. So you're giving me hope that it's just disappearing. I think it'll just disappear.

Alyssa Milano says, that's my sorry. So I don't know if you know, but we've kind of been having our own thing going on. What have we covered? What have I meant? Well, we're excited you're here. I'll have to women ignoring the nipple. So we've covered.

First of all, please start this over because Christina hasn't seen it. On a come boycott. Yes. She saw a tentacle of Benadryl. Oh, you saw that guy? Yeah. What do you think's going on?

She saw Try It Out guy. Oh, you saw Try It Out guy? Yeah, it's amazing. I feel so judgy, though. You should. Yeah, that's exactly what your husband said, by the way. He was like, no, you should judge these people. Yeah, that's the whole fun of the game.

You want to say something crazy? I was telling her how she was my first crush. You're everybody's. And she was like, I have a crush on you, too. So it was like a big, it was a crazy, yeah. No, you're married. She was like, you're super hot. I see you on Instagram.

I know you're a kick-ass mom. Are you married? I'm married, yes. I've been married 10 years. 10 years. So have we. I'm so, I know, can I nerd out on you a little bit now, too? Yeah.

OK, you are the coolest person on the planet. Growing up watching you, who's the boss? Hello. You're my, you're everything. You're gorgeous. Thank you. I always feel like I'm disappointing people when they say that to me and I meet them in person.

I'm like, oh, god, I can't live up to it. I can't live up to it. Don't worry. Just know that you're fantastic. And can I tell you what? So badly growing up, you had this time in your life where you had a gap here on the news of us? Oh, my teeth were so, even in Charmed,

my teeth were so fucked up. I still wear braces. I have those in disaligns, not right now, but yeah. What I wanted to look like you, I couldn't wait for to lose my teeth so I could look like you. That was, do you remember that face she went to? Yeah, I had other thoughts about you, but that was like, that was a.

You didn't include teeth? Yeah. So you walked in, we were watching this. I don't know if you want to catch up. That's cool, guys. I'm sorry, guys. Go ahead. What do you mean?

He seems to like it. I don't like it. I don't like it either. I don't like. Wait, it's better. Hold on. Hold on. He flicks it.

He flicks it. Wait. Hold on. No, I don't like it. You have a choice. I don't want to look. You don't have to look. You have a choice.

Wait, you got to see this. Nobody's making you. No, but I feel like I have to. There's a good thing coming up. You got to see this. Ah, does he lactate? I got to twist it. No.

Hold on. What's that? Wait, there you go. What's that? No, no. What's wrong with you? Did you find this one? Uh-uh.

It's really upsetting. Yeah. You want to have something crazy? So one of my friends, I won't sell him out, but this is kind of fascinating to me. Just like how. Why did you show that to him? I don't know.

Alyssa was like, what do you got? She did not. I'm like, show me more. Show me more perverts. So one of my friends. Definitely not what she said. Dated. She's a lot smarter than us.

She was like, you got anything cool to show me? I was like, yeah. So. No. So like. She's a classy, talented person. One of my friends. You missed my burp.

Dated. She burped. But guess what? She never farts. I don't fart. Just once in childbirth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do love farts.

Yeah. Like, I think they're funny. Yeah, they're all, they're great. I just don't do it. OK, so one of my friends dated a girl for five years recently. Yeah, they broke up. He told me every time, every time they hooked up, she would like obsess on his nipples.

And then I was like, oh, did you so like, do you like that? He's like, no. I go, I go, did you ever say anything? He was like, no, really? I go, but you didn't like it. He was like, never. Why would you just say something like I'm not really? And she did it every time.

He's like, absolutely every time she would go to town on my nipples. And I'm like, and you didn't like it. That's awesome. I did not like it. She's like, nope. Yeah. Like, wouldn't you just be like, dude, just, hey. It's like, I see you're enjoying it.

I'm not really. Give it a, give it a break. I don't really like having my nip nips. I mean, you know that we've been together. Especially after breastfeeding. I know you like pinching. I breastfed for so long. I know it's funny.

On Instagram, I follow you on the gram. How long did you go for? I went, well, I breastfed my son for a year. And then my daughter for two years. And they're three years apart. So I was either breastfeeding or pregnant, basically, for like six years. But yeah, the nipple thing after you breastfeed is not.

Well, my nips are totally different. They used to be pink and now they're mushy purples. That's what I call them. Like they're, it's a disaster. It's not a disaster. Do you know why your nipples change colors after? Please tell me. Because the baby sees contrast in the beginning.

Right. So your nipple gets darker so the baby can find the nipple. It's amazing, isn't it? The human, the women's. Yeah, not your disgusting. Women are fucking stupid. I also showed her that guy. Well, yeah.

Yeah. That's a cool guy. Yeah. Yeah, I asked if it was a gyco commercial. So tell me about this too. Did it grow? Like what was going on when? Because I was obsessing over that growing up.

Like it looks so cool. I had a headgear. So did I. Yeah, I had a retainer, I had a headgear. And then, you know, they do those clear braces now. They're genius. And I started wearing those like four years ago and I still wear them.

Wow. Six years, either pregnant. Women are stupid. Because I'm in year like four and I'm tired. Yeah, I'm tired. How old are your kids now? Seven and four. OK.

So you're kind of out of the. Yeah, it's, it does get easier for sure. OK. Just so you know. I'm sure you told her about it. Yeah, we already did this. Sorry. So.

What an attitude. Is your husband an attitude person like this? No. Is he in showbiz? Is he a regular person? He is. He actually is an agent at CAA. I know.

Big shot. Wow. Big shot. How does that work? Do you are you like. Is your husband your agent? No, he's not my agent. That'd be weird, right?

He's so weird. Yeah. No, he, it works kind of well though because he is used to, you know, other people having the spotlight. Yeah, yeah, that's good. You know, he's a very nurturing. You have to be nurturing to be an agent

because actors can be such whiny people. Yeah, I don't know what's worse. Actors are comedians because comedians are crazy. Really? Yeah. What's your theory? Well, the comedians are just more fun to hang out with. That's true.

You know what I mean? Like if you're hanging out. Actors can get really serious. Oh, yeah, like when they're like really serious about their craft. All right, do you want to go back to one? Do it again? Let's hold for the plane.

Yeah, yeah, come on. So like, yeah. But I mean like, I love, I do actually, I love hanging out with, I love artists. So for me, I love hanging out with, you know, an actor doesn't take themselves too seriously as an actor. But like, I just love being around, you know, whether it's a writer.

Creative minds and all they think. It's fun to be, it's good energy, you know? Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to think who's the most you've ever had, like somebody talk about their craft with you. No, but the worst is, is every time I do an acting gig and I have to go on a press tour and I have to talk about my craft.

My craft. Oh, right. Yeah, at those press trunks. It's super hard for me. How did you relate to this character? Yeah, did you prepare for the character or, you know, what is, what are, what are, what do you and your character have in common or how do you learn your diet?

It's like, I don't fucking care. Yeah. Like, let's talk about Trump. Like, I'd much rather talk about, you know, and maybe that's my deflection. Yeah. Is not having to talk about myself, so I talk about issues that are important to me, right?

Cause it's still allowing people into what I believe in, but it's not directly related to my life. Is that a sir? I mean, cause we do like, especially when we put specials out, you gotta go on these press tours and like, tell us about this new hour. You're like, it's a bunch of jokes.

Yeah. Last an hour. You're like farts. There's a lot of fart targets. Tell us about the dynamics between the characters. It's like, I don't know. From the daughter, so it's my mom. And so I'm like, hey mom.

I play the wife. She's so, and I'll just start making up shit sometimes to keep it interesting. Like when I was doing the insatiable press tour and the, the Lauren Gussis. Oh, I loved you in that BT dubs. Lauren Gussis, who is our showrunner, who's just this amazing woman.

And she came on the press tour with us in New York. And I actually, in one of my interviews, said that Coralie, which is this very Southern character that I play, was a Trump supporter. She fucking went ballistic. Really? And the character's not a Trump supporter.

I just got so sick of talking about her hair and her fake nails that I was like, okay, how can I make this interesting and sort of steer the conversation onto something substantial. And so I brought that up, but she, I feel like who's Iron Man, what's his name? Robert Downey. He fucks around in like basically every interview.

I think a lot of actors fuck around in these interviews. Yeah, which is really fun. You can tell he's fucking around. I also heard that, so I was curious about like for a, that's so harsh, that's so thirsty. For, you know, real actors, like about like how you deal, like do, you know, doesn't have.

Real actors, is that insinuating that I'm non? No, you're a real actor. I'm saying like, we're not, we do like, you know, bit parts and things, but like, you're a real actor. I'm saying when you're a real actor and another actor has a suggestion for you on set. See, I like it. You do like it?

You're so humble and nice. Really? No, I like it because I really like direction because I think when you've been doing it for as long as I have been doing it, you get really lazy and you get set in these patterns. And then sometimes, like if a scene is more important for the other character and you're propelling their emotion,

sometimes as an actor, you have to give them something to get a performance out of them. So I'd much rather an actor say to me, listen, can you come out a little stronger in that line so I could get to that place that I need to get to? Okay. And it's just helpful to have that communication, I think.

So do you have that, do you feel comfortable? Like I remember doing, I did a movie last year where like I wanted to say something, not because I'm like, I got this figured out, but I was like, I would like, and I felt very, you know, hesitant to ask. It depends on the situation. It does.

And the actor. And I think you know that going in, like who you have that kind of rapport with. Like I worked with DeNiro on a scene, and I was so terrified. I was so terrified. Oh my God. And I was terrified when I walked on,

I was terrified when I woke up that morning. Yes, of course. And then I rehearsed it and he was, he was in, he was, I played his nurse and he looked up at me after rehearsal. And I kid you not, he looked at me and he said, I don't know how you're going to do it. Oh my God.

And he was joking, but I, there's no way I saw that as a joke. No, no. There's no fucking way. Even if he was like, I'm kidding. For like 20 years, I would have still thought that he was serious. There's no way. So wait, what'd you do?

Cry? What'd you do? I just did the fucking scene, the scene got cut out. Oh, did? So apparently I really did suck, but yeah. But yeah, terrifying, terrifying. Joey Diaz did a movie with DeNiro and he told me that like the first,

one of the first moments like on set, so he's meeting him that he's like, Joey's in a seat and he's supposed to be reading a paper and he looks up and so they're just like blocking it, going through it. And he says that as he looks up at him, the first time, like they're not about to roll yet, DeNiro just goes, it's okay, it's all right.

Because he knows his effect. He knows it's that honey you've got to know. He right away told him like, it's all right. It's so ideal. Well, he did not do that. To you, he was like, are you a new actor? Yeah. Like he really could do it that way.

But then I went on a USO tour with him, like into the Middle East and he could not have been kinder and warmer and more. It was just, you know, it's us, it's not him. He just projects this amazingness and it's so intimidating. So someone like that, I would walk onto the set and I wouldn't have that kind of rapport.

Fuck no. Where I'd feel like, I'm going to tell him what I need to get through the scene. Fuckin' little. You know, but people that you work with for a long time that you're able to go like, dude, I can't get there. Can you help me out with this a little bit? I think it's nice.

I think that's good. Because it really does have to feel like, you know, going back to that team sports thing that we were talking about in the beginning, you know, it's a team. Actings. It is a team. It is a team.

Yeah. That's why I'm not great. Wait, can I ask her questions? Yeah, is it about, so I didn't play this because you weren't here. I know, I have so many things to ask. Okay, ask. Man, man, please.

By the way, I tried to get her to pick a guy. I'm so excited she's free. To pick a cool guy. Did you pick a guy? She was like, I will not play this game. No, I know. She was like, humanity will die. I will not hook up with anyone.

Yeah, humanity will die, it will cease to exist. Sorry. God. Not sorry. Okay, so forgive me, have you covered what age she started acting and all that crap? Yes. Well, how old were you?

You were a baby. I was my son's age. I was seven. You covered all this though. Well, you already did it. Okay, I'll listen to it later, I won't bore you. Let's talk about the gram. Okay.

I'm a huge fan of the gram. You like Instagram. I'm on that shit 24 seven, bro. And I don't know about you, but you should check out TikTok because it's the next frontier. TikTok, the Bloomberg? I don't know. The app.

It's an app. Oh, it's an app. Look at me, listen. No, not so much. You need to check it out. What is it? It's terrible. It's a place where people like sing and dance

along to songs and stuff. In like 10 second loops. And it's like, yeah, it's like fine for music. But I wanted to ask you this, because I- You don't need to see it. I often get people who, I mean, I'm on a small scale, a public known person, and I get stuff like,

stupid bitch, stupid fucking cunt. And I'm like, what do people do who are actual celebrities? And you take a lot of risks on your Instagram in terms of you very opinionated, you stand out, you stand up. I mean, how do you- Yeah, how much of it do you digest? You know what I mean?

Yeah, how do you deal with the backlash? Like you dumb fucking bitch, you know what I mean? There's a lot of people out there sending you, I'm sure, hateful shit. I think that this goes back to what I was saying about, about at 15 years old, having an experience that enabled me to use my platform in a way that was substantial.

But I got so much backlash at that time. That you built up- That to me, it's not even building up a wall. It's just acknowledging or knowing at a young age that if you're gonna have an opinion about something, people are gonna disagree with it, and people are gonna be fucking pissed. So it doesn't bother me.

My husband's always like, I don't know how it doesn't bother you. And he actually trolls my trolls, which if you ever see- That's what he does too. If you ever see D. Bulyari commenting on any of my Instagram, that's my husband being like, yeah, he's very protective.

But you know, I feel like it's almost, it feels like I'm winning when they do that. Like it's resonating in a way that they're so irate that they have to- Does it ever, Irq? That's true. You know what I mean? Like when-

It pisses me off when they bring my kids into it. Yeah, of course. That it definitely pisses me off. You would think that should be out of bounds, yeah. But otherwise, it's, you know, it just comes along with the territory, you know? And it's, I'm pretty secure in who I am at this point. It worked very hard to get to the point

that I'm at right now. I like who I am. So I sort of look at it like you can't, you're not gonna hurt me. Like I thought really hard to get to this place personally. Like so- That's so interesting. What have you, what was your journey?

Like what have you been doing? I mean, you know, it's, I think like everyone's journey. You're on this trajectory and you try to take lessons when they come and grow and evolve. You make mistakes. You know, I have anxiety disorder and have my entire life.

I have generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks. Oh, I have, yeah, I have GDT. Do you ever feel like you're like this outspoken activist that one day you might end up going too far as this person and end up like this lady on the screen? And they go to the doctor and he says, ah, ah, I know what you've been doing, young lady. You have to a media of the truth.

Oh my God. If you're running, tell you not to let that boy put his penis in your mouth. Is that a fear? I'll be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Definitely for my parents. It would be so crazy to be walking through a park and you're like, is that Alyssa Milano? Right? And she's just like ranting and raving about chlamydia of the throat. I hear it happens. I feel like we made fun of enough men.

It is time to highlight some superstar women. Right. Would you have my TikToks on deck? Jesus Christ. I'm listening about her personal journey. Yeah, I know, sorry. Anyway, a lot of therapy, a lot of figuring it out, a lot of talking, really supportive family, friends,

husband. Before we forget, you also have a new podcast. Yes, I do. It's called Sorry Not Sorry. And it's basically an extension of my platform. And that's why it made sense to me. Love it. And it's...

You bring guests on or you alone? We bring guests on, but also we take sound bites from much like you do. The same type of sound bites? No, very, very different sound bites. Sound bites from historical speeches and news reports that kind of give us an idea of how we got to where we are right now

based on the topics. And we also highlight awesome grassroots activists throughout the country because really they're making the magic happen and they don't get any recognition at all. So I'm really proud of it. You're passionate about it. Yeah, I love it.

It's my most favorite job right now besides being Milo and Bella's mommy. Yeah, that's cute. That's awesome. Yeah, it's cool. You guys have to come on. For sure. We can talk about...

I know. That's the right way to do it, that's perfect. Yeah, you want to see some backlash. Wait till that episode drops. I have a mom podcast where I talk about taking a dump and breastfeeding at the same time. I've done that. Where my mom's at.

Where my mom's at. That's awesome. You should come on. I'd love to come on. I have some great stories. Booker, booker, nanda, book. She wants to... Okay, so this is my TikTok curation.

I curate these in my free time, which isn't much, but I'm pretty dedicated. Okay, let me tell Alyssa something. I am in bed with this woman to my left at night. And I just hear this shit. I'm like, what the fuck is that? Cause I'm like watching TV. So what are you doing at this point?

I'm watching TV. What are you watching? Murder. I'm watching Netflix. Murder shows. I'm watching documentaries. Like prison. Car videos.

My husband is in that too. Vulture. Exactly. Like, do you watch that weird cabin renovation show? No, I don't watch that one. He watches either fights. He likes to watch people fighting at Disneyland or murder, serial killers.

I watch documentaries. And it's always killing women. It's always killing the wife. The wife of the mother of two is dead. I'm like, could you not? The blonde mom. Poisoned. With the purple nips.

Yeah. Yeah. So what are you saying? So while I'm watching a highly produced show or documentary, I get to hear this bullshit in the background. She's like, just putting together my TikToks. And it's always like.

Wait, wait. Curate them. Do you curate them? Like, is that an option in the app to curate them? No, I've invited this myself. So funny you should ask Alyssa. What I like to do, cause I'm on the gram, I go to TikTok and I find my faves

and then I send them to my stories and Instagram. And then I archive my stories so that people can enjoy them further. At the Christina P. you can enjoy all of these TikToks. Once again, the skepticism I see in your eyes is spot on, okay? Wait, are you an investor in TikTok?

I wish. I wish. Is she an angel investor? She has all the right questions. How come an angel investor out? This is just. I don't know what this is by the way, but it looks like it's not going to be.

You know what's so funny Tom? Is that when we have like non-communian people like who aren't derelicts and scumbags, like they really have normal thoughts. Yeah, they do. And it highlights it. Like when normal people come in, I'm like, oh, we're savage.

Okay, go ahead. This lady I found. Well, if I give one more comment saying that I'm obsessed, psycho, or look like Dwight from the office, your ass is going to get blocked. You hear me? You will be blocked. You're nothing but a over a bulkheaded.

To put it bluntly, a weed. Okay. You think of those hard words? This is what I get to hear. Are you ready to go to bed, babe? Hold on. There's got to be better ones than that though. Oh yeah.

Oh, this is just the beginning. When your dad buys the croissants instead of the biscuit ones. Listen here, I'm not breaking your fucking twat. I want my fucking biscuits. I don't want no bagel croissant, your fucking knob. I kind of like that though. That one's actually quite funny.

I know. Thirst. It's not that I'm horny all the time. It's just that you are always so fucking sexy. He likes to wear the vampire teeth this guy. He's always doing like S&M themed. What do you think, Alyssa? I'm just confused.

I don't understand. But is this like a social network? You said it had to do with music. Yeah, so normally I can't, and we can't hear the ones with music because it'll get flagged on YouTube. So it's people doing the flossing dance. It's usually nice people doing dances.

Or they'll lip sync, you know, so a popular song will play and they'll go mouth along to it and do like a little thing. That's how most users use TikTok. But Christina's found the lane that doesn't. I go down the path less take him, if you will. The path less chosen.

I live my life by a simple credo. You stand behind me, I'll protect you. You stand beside me, I respect you. You stand against me, I'll end you. Ooh. Is that scary? Seems like... Is that scary?

What did you think of his acting? We found our topic for our appearance, I'm sorry. I'm excited. So wait, I have a question. Can we go back to that other one? Is he dubbing his own voice? No. So that's the lip-syncing bit.

But sometimes they lip sync. Other of you. Audio from movies, from television shows, speeches. Okay. So yeah, that's a very... I've never felt older in my life, by the way. I know, but we're cool moms, you know what I mean?

You gotta keep up with what the kids are doing. So, I mean, are celebrities on this platform? Some, we could consider that guy from Nova School, Shah, that guy, he's on there. To answer your question, no. No, no, celebrities. You could be the first. You can really start a revolution.

What if I started lip-syncing speeches? Oh my God, that would be so strange. I would like to see you in this. Maybe some makeup and some vape and smoke, doing something really off the wall. So what do you do for your anxiety? Oh, a Lexapro 10 milligrams. Oh, awesome.

It really helps. CBD oil. CBD oil. That changed my life. Me too, yeah. Yeah. Literally changed my life. But the Lexapro really helps.

Yeah, see, I'm on an anti-depressant. I'm on a SNRI. I'm on a... What's that? It's just a different uptake thing. And that works for you? You feel like that helps, yeah. That's great.

Yeah, it helps and thank God for it. Yeah, are you still in therapy? I am still in therapy. Me too, I go every week. Have you done somatic therapy? I've heard of this, I'd like to. It's really interesting. So this doctor that sort of formulated it

would watch animals in the wild and notice that animals are in a state of fight or flight basically all day long. Fighting for their food, right? But they don't obviously have anxiety. But if you look at an animal after it does one of these hunting, whatever, or is hunted, they do this sort of shake or they thump their leg.

And what the doctor thinks that is, is a nervous system reboot. You've seen dogs do that, right? They shake it off. Little like Taylor Swift. Shake it off. Shake it off. Exactly.

Shake it off. You like that song? I do. I like Tay Tay. Tay Tay. But Bella loves Tay Tay. Okay. But so it's sort of a form of physical therapy

plus talk therapy. I'm into it. Do you know somebody? I do. Let's talk about it off mic. I love this. Oh, hey, you're still here. I'm still here.

Okay. I'm in my new BFF just talking therapy. I've heard another man. So. It's like you're a worst nightmare. Wonder why a guy's gonna get a break. Okay. Oh, it's so true.

It's so hard being me. Oh. So. What's the, okay. Cause I know you did Charmed. You've done a million amazing things. What? I just, I'm so many stupid questions.

I like it. How cool was the lady who played Mona? I feel like she was cool. Catherine Hellman. She was amazing. She's gone now. But she, I mean, she lived a very long life. She gave me the first ring that her husband ever,

her husband of 50 years ever gave her. What? Because she didn't have a daughter. And she gave it to me for my 16th birthday. Really? Yeah. That's very sweet. Amazing.

Super. And Judith's amazing too. You sell it? She seems nice. I follow her on the gram as well. Did you keep it? Did you sell it? No, I did not sell it.

It's such a weird question. I know. It's really weird. Look, she's not around anymore. How much can you get for it? By the way, he was like so much different before you came along. Was he nice?

Was he a gentleman? He was, yeah. He was a lot like you've opened him up to just be him himself. What was I like? No offense. No, you're not. I'm not taking offense.

Cause when a normal pretty lady walks in, did all the gentlemen kind of sit straighter and act like, oh my God. Wait, I want to know, what was I like differently? You were a lot more chatty. I was? Hey, I see the dynamic that's going on here. What's the dynamic?

Tell us. I mean, I think that you probably wear the pants in the film. No. No. Never. Actually, no, I live in constant fear. Tom's disapproval.

That's true. I do. I live to please him. I'm like, are you okay? Don't be mad at me. I could tell. You seem like that type. Oh, so codependent.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's normal. I'm not. These are all truths. Truths. Yes. What else? Tell me.

Oh my God, so many. Can I ask you more stupid questions? Prepare the clip, native. It's here. You know the clip I'm talking about. Do you remember? Teen steam. You gotta let it out.

You gotta. She brought it out. Can we please talk about it? When you were. Yeah, let's talk about it. I love it. I'd love to talk about it. When you were booked, this was the first thing.

She was like, we gotta get a teen steam. Teen steam. So, okay, so this is also somewhat political. I know that sounds crazy. Really? But this was the time when they were cutting P.E. out of public schools and physical education. That's right.

And just when the child obesity rate started going up. And I went, this is so ridiculous. Because I didn't go to regular school, I didn't play on sports teams. I didn't have a P.E. instructor. So I used to train with like a private instructor that was very much like Jane Fonda. Cause you know the Jane Fonda workout videos.

Of course, huge. So that was where this came from. It was an idea that I said, you know, why don't we do a workout video for kids since, you know, the obesity levels going up and the funding for P.E. is being cut. So that's where this came from. This was your idea to do this?

Yes. Really? Now let me tell you though, when she did this, this wasn't like every actress was doing this stuff. No, it was Jane Fonda. Yeah, and Alyssa Milano. When that was it? I mean, when this came out, everybody was like, what?

First of all, all the boys were like, oh my God, Alyssa Milano, that was so hot. But this was crazy. Can we play a little bit of it? I just wanted to do, what do you feel when you see it? I love your hair, I love your hair. My dad wrote that song, and that's my real brother. What?

Yep. Oh, there he is. Is he an actress here? It's my little brother. No, he's a music editor for films. He just had a baby too. We're 10 years apart. But yeah, so.

My friends just want a party, and they're driving me insane. And you're like. It really was driving me insane. Pressure from my family, pressure from inside of me. So much pressure. This is where it ends. I love it. Oh yeah, I remember that, yeah, this is like the industrial.

Yeah. But this ended up being about like, hey, let's move. Like, that's what that's like. Yeah, you gotta dance. Like if you don't move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Gotta let it out.

Oh. Team Steve, gotta let it out. I love it so much. I mean, these moves were like the floss. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Look how cute you were. How do you feel about your hair?

Don't you love your hair back here? I mean, you're doing that so much. And never were. Every girl tried this. Naturally curly hair, and I could never get my hair. Did you perm your hair? Well, I had, I had permed my hair, but I also had naturally curly hair.

So it was like that weird kinky curl. And then I had some hairdresser say, you know, I can control the curl by permming it. But it was, I mean, that was just the look. I used to bend over and spray hair spray in my hair with the blow dryer, and then flip up. And that's how I got my bangs like that. Do you realize I've been waiting my whole life to hear this?

To hear that? Like I tried doing this shit. Oh, I just realized I've been waiting 15 years to tell you there's a guy who used to be called the joke machine. Yeah. And I would see him at like open mics and stuff. Oh, yeah. And his, his, his like one of his signature.

I don't know if he's still out there. I haven't seen him in years. The joke machine would go. So I was at a Bruce Springsteen concert the other day, and I'm watching Bruce and I look over and who's standing next to me, but Tony Danza. So I look at Bruce and I look at Tony and I'm thinking, who's the boss?

Come on. So stupid. It's so great. It's so dumb. I love that joke so much. You can tell that one when you're on there. You can tell that one at Tony. I'm gonna eat that one.

I used to see Tony Danza at the Balboa Park. He was always playing baseball with his kids. Softball, yeah? Softball, yeah, yeah, yeah. He seemed nice. He's very sweet. Normal. Very normal.

Checks in all the time. Oh. Send him pictures of my kids. What about those bitches from Charm? Are they all gels? They're not all pictures. I'm just kidding. They're not all pictures.

I have such a, I have such a, that show was such an amazing, beautiful experience. Oh, good. And yeah, and we're just like fucked up family members. Good.

Who's the worst person you've worked with? Yeah, tell us. Who's the worst person I've worked with? Well, I mean, Harvey Weinstein produced Project Runway All Stars. Ugh. That's pretty bad. Give him a shot.

Give him a chance. It's so nasty. He was, yeah. Did he, was he creepy to you? He was never creepy to me. It's weird. It's interesting when you hear the stories about who he was like,

maybe he knew the certain people. I'm also very good friends with his ex-wife. So that could have had something to do with it. Probably. Yeah. Regina Chapman is just an amazing woman. So yeah, so I would say him for sure. And of all the shows you've done,

I always admire actors because it seems, so hard to say other people's words. At least that's I'm not very good at. What's the corniest line you've had to deliver? And you have to really sell that. The power of three will set you free. Oh no! The power of three will set you free.

The power of three will set, it wasn't just once, we had to chant it over and over again. The power of three will set you free. With wind machine, smoke, magic. And how do you take yourself to a place to be like, I need to really believe it. The great part about doing that show was,

is that we never took ourselves seriously, even while saying those lines. Because it was literally like, it was either like that, or we were making weird potions, or we were doing green screen acting to nothing. It's gotta be so hard, we were just talking about that. The green screen acting.

We'd have like a director off to the side being like, okay, the demon is running after you, he's running, you're scared, you're scared. He throws a fireball, and you duck. And we'd be like, and we duck. And then we'd have to go into ABR and do voiceover stuff to the picture. So we'd be in like a sound booth going like,

no, duck! And making all these sounds, you couldn't take yourself seriously. Yeah, no, no, no. It was fun. And look cute, because all three of you look, you know, lipstick, and greatest hairstyles. We had the best time.

Looking cute and doing all that's gotta be, that's a skill too, right, to know where the camera. I cried for three weeks when that show ended. I did not get it out of bed for three weeks straight. We had such a good run. How long was the run? You guys did the show? Eight years.

Damn. But it was those formative years too. It was like mid-20s to early 30s. I know who's the boss went for eight years too, but I was so, I was ready. It was like, okay, it's time. So you started that when you were seven? I started, who's the boss?

We shot the pilot when I was 10 and the first season went when I was 11. 11 to 19. Oh my gosh. Do you imagine doing anything from 11 to 19? Same thing, every day, same people. No, because that would have been like middle school, through high school, in the start of college.

And doing puberty on camera, which had to have been. Good times. Yeah. And back then there, I mean, thank God, there wasn't the internet, but there was like the Big Bopper magazine or whatever. I had to let it out. Yeah.

A bunch of cool guys were probably watching you in those days, you know, making cool videos, like the nipple pinch guy and. Did you get a lot of fan mail? Let's talk about that for a while. Let's talk about those guys. Did you get the bags of fan mail or did they shield you from all of them?

No, I did, I did. I mean, they went through them for, my parents always went through them first. That's nice. Yeah, that's probably necessary. I wish they could go through my tweets. Oh. My parents just get rid of certain tweets.

That would be great. It would be so good. Well, look, we have to wrap up here in a moment. We had so much fun before Christina got here, but it was a blast before she got here. But I want to remind people that your new podcast, Sorry Not Sorry is available wherever you listen to podcasts, iTunes,

Stitcher, Google Play, everywhere. When does it start? It started a few weeks ago, yeah, amazing. Hope you love it. Yes. Alyssa wanted to remind you that towels could have aids in them. Towels could have aids.

And. Is that her message? She led with that. You missed it. Gosh, so bizarre. I don't see her. No, that was Pat Robertson, my bad. Same thing.

Same thing. You can follow her on her widely successful popular platforms on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. All at Alyssa Milano. Different versions of that, but yeah. I mean, on Instagram, I had to do Milano underscore Alyssa because Alyssa Milano was actually taken. Like a fan page thing or something?

I don't. What about the breastfeeding peg on the gram before we go? Sure. Which one? Well, I mean, the first one, the bomb hurt around the world. I remember I was like, oh, that's so brave. I love it.

But you got a lot of shit for that. I did. Which is great, but now you've kind of, you've normalized it. I hope so. Women are doing it. I hope so. You started the trend.

And you know what I do in public? Like if I see someone breastfeeding in public, I go over and thank them. Oh, I love it. Because I want my daughter to live in a world where that's normal. It is normal. That's a normal thing, right?

We've gotten so far away from the village mentality of raising kids where we see that. I just want her to know that that's the way you feed an infant, if you can. If not, no big deal. I love it. It's all these matters, okay? It's all these matters.

Yeah. It's rock, ghosts of Freddy, it's a porn star. I mean, we're having fun here. God. Anyways, thanks for coming. I hope you come back one day. I would love to. Yeah, if you could do another.

Do you know where my mom's at? Maybe if you could let us finish a podcast sometime, we will. So, Solis Milano, thank you very much for coming. Thank you for having me. We had a great time with you. This is so fun. Thank you.

Thank you so much. See you guys soon. Bye-bye. Guy blows crack smoke into someone's ass. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would look for that one. It's pretty great.

Then your b-hole. I would look for that one. Pretty great. Pretty great. Pretty great. Guy blows crack smoke into someone's ass. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Will you smoke, crack, and blow the smoke up my ass? I bet you can get high that way. Then your b-hole. Pretty great. Then your b-hole. To blow crack smoke into some other guy's butt. I would do it. I would try it.

Try it out, try it out, man. Try it out. Try it out. I would try it. China, China, China, China, China. Pretty great. To blow crack smoke into some other guy's butt. I would do it, I would try it.

I would look for the mark, for a guy who said meaning wouldn't you do it? I would do it, I would try it. I would look for the mark, for a guy who said meaning wouldn't you do it? I would do it, I would try it. To blow crack smoke into some other guy's butt. Try it out, try it out, man.

I would do it. To blow crack smoke into some other guy's butt. I would try it.