Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 522-Elizabeth Lail-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 23, 2019

SooWoo! It's another edition of Your Mom's House! Do you want to show you're not a false blood? New merch! do you know popular English slang? Our favorite English Teacher is back to educate us in a hardcore fun way. Sober October is in full effect and Tom and Christina want to buy a billboard. Then, the Human Cockroach joins to couch to discuss his upcoming trip to Europe with Tom. And finally, actress Elizabeth Lail is in Studio Jeans. Her and Tom star in the upcoming film "Countdown" which hits theaters on October 25th. She was also the star of NETFLIX's show "You." Elizabeth's acting and Tom's acting are quite different as we learn, and since she was in a show about stalking, we get her opinions on Good Morning, Julia and Garth. Sprinkle in a little Tony Johns and we up outta heeeere."

🎶 Let's continue on for the next one... Strikingai Wow Oh, man. Auto-tune. Wow. Josh Dell, thanks so much for making that. And that's going to be up on the highlights page, that whole video, with full credits. And it'll also have the link to, I believe, Josh's SoundCloud. I'm very excited. I'm very excited.

I think the Bloods are excited too, to be getting so much publicity. I certainly hope nobody thinks we're affiliated with certain groups. Yeah. It's just for fun, guys. Hey, if I pull up the interwebs on this, does it come over here or no? If you move it onto that second screen, it will. It will? Let's see here. You say that I'm a false blood. Oh, Jesus. Oh, boy. Taking the world by storm. I know, I got, let's see. Oh, yeah, I got a nice treat for everybody. The new sumo shirts are out. Oh, my God.

I don't know if this is the dumbest idea or the best idea we have. We got two, because people have not been able to decide whether it's want no rec or work no rec. So they're both there. And you can decide which you want to wear. Let's see which one says you don't want no rec is one. And you have you don't work no rec is the other one. So they're both there. They're on presale right now. Oh, boy. Go to merchmethod.com slash Tom Segura and show your affiliation to the blood gang. All right. Now. Well, it's really taken America by storm, Sue Wu. Yeah, it really has. I was at the Irvine Improv last week, and I walked out to a wall of Sue Wu.

I made a reference to it at a show last week on tour two, and I said, and then the whole, the whole crowd, I think it was crazy. Yeah. So scary. I think they're going to do well at the live shows. Yeah. I got, I got permission from Knuckle. He said I could do it. Knuckle. Yeah. Yeah. He used to roll with them. He was like, you could do it. So anyways, we're very excited. I got a lot of exciting stuff today. Gene, we have a movie star coming in today. I know. I'm so excited. It's going to be really fun. You ready to go into this show? I am. Let's do it, man. Let's do it. Here we go. Here we go. Let's have a look at another word that the teenagers love to use. That's thought.

Now, what did it actually mean? T-H-O-T thought. That's how it's pronounced, but it's a shot form for that ho over there. Oh, brandy. Don't bring anyone loving them. Oh, yeah. That hole over there. That hole over there. That sounds familiar to you guys at all. It might be because...

You are completely retarded. That's her. That hole over there, she doesn't do it right though. Of course not. She's the best English teacher ever. This woman's whole gig is like, I'll teach you about how English works. That's the best. The joke.

Jesus. English unplugged. I mean, it's just, it's insane. She doesn't pronounce the words correctly. Man, hear it again. Yeah, of course. She's got like a vocal fry, like an Indian lady. Well, she continues.

Let's get into it more. So, here's how she, that's what she says. Now, it's used to talk about a person you don't like or anyone who acts in a way you don't think is good. If you are referring to a girl in your class whom you don't like, she gossips too much and she is too bitchy. She said, referring. You're referring to anyone you don't like.

You don't like her. She's a thought. No, she's a thought. She's a thought. A thought. A thought. This is a thought. I'm in a come strike.

I am. Oh, like her. That hole. You are completely retarded. Okay. Here, let's not ever use it in a sentence. She's definitely not liked by many people, so you're going to say, oh, she's really a thought.

She just can't keep her mouth shut. Now, I don't use this phrase, so I'm not cool, but I'm pretty sure you don't go, she's really a thought. She's such a thought. She just can't keep her mouth shut. Keep her mouth shut. That's not a use. That thought talks too much.

Oh, she's really a thought. I feel like we should get my mom to do a show just like this. She's really a thought. That hole over there. How do you guys use thought? Do you use thought in your daily language? No, I don't think so. No?

I bet you any. Do you? I mean, thought could be a good thing. It could be a bad thing. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. I mean, how would you use it in a sentence?

Would you say, she just can't keep her mouth shut? Exactly. How do you use it? Hey, what up, little thoughty? What you doing tonight? That has a positive vibe to it. Geez. That's what I'm saying.

It could be good. It could be bad. But if it was negative, how would you use it in a negative way? Just so people get the correct lesson here. I mean, I heard you want to mess with that girl, but hey, bro, I heard she a thought. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I wouldn't recommend it.

There you go. Oh. Those are way better examples. Hey, man. Hey. That girl over there is a doctor. I don't recommend it. She's so thoughty.

Hello, little thoughty. Little. What's up, little thoughty? Thoughty. Would you like to dance? I wish every English teacher was like this, though. Wouldn't you learn a language so much faster? Oh, yeah.

Well, if she was in class, it would be my hands down favorite teacher of all time. Favorite. I actually, I love her. I love her, too. Yeah. But if I took Spanish in school and they didn't teach you lame set, like I can say like K. Lastima. And I know that that's not real.

I am basically trying to do the equivalent of this in Spanish right now because I just recorded a Spanish podcast. Yeah. It's not, it hasn't come out yet. We're going to release it in a couple of weeks. The whole point is to catch up on current slang and phrases and curses and everything. So yeah, it's the same idea. I'm doing a podcast to actually do that in another language.

Which is so hard. Yeah. As evidenced by our lady here. Yeah, yeah. She knows the words, but she's not quite there. That's such a ho. You are completely returned. Oh, she's really a thought.

Oh, she's really a thought. A thought. That ho over there. I love her. That ho over there. That's such a ho. The third one that I have for you is use your words right. Now it doesn't make sense if you are talking to your boss or if you are talking to your

grandmother and you use the team language or you use slang. Like you would go, hey, what's up? So are you having fun? A hardcore fun? Your boss or your grandma would think you are completely retarded. So use your words, right? Look at that. Having fun or hardcore fun?

Who taught her English is what I want to know. It sounds like a Nazi taught her English. I feel like the third right was like, then you have your hardcore fun and you watch them suffer. It's the hardcore fun. It's so weird. It is German. Yes.

Very German. Yeah. She's great. Man, I would just keep finding her stuff, please. She's my favorite. It's so hard to learn these. I mean, even when you are part of the culture, I told you the millennials are saying, I'm here for it.

So you hear a phrase and see me shaking his head, no. But then my little millennial babysitter, she says it for real. She's like, I'm so here for it. I'm like, what? Actually, you could do this. I should. I'm so. Hey, guys.

Big mood. I'm so here for it. I'm tired AF. I'm woke AF. Yeah. What do you say? I'm not cool enough. No, you're super cool.

Yeah. Okay. But it's so hard. I mean, imagine trying to do this in her language. Oh, my gosh. Yes. I want to also remind people that we're deep into sober October. I know.

And I've been uploading videos, like little recaps of the classes I've been doing on my personal YouTube channel. So if you go into YouTube and you type in my name, I believe. I don't know if my channel is youtube.com slash Tom Segura. Do you know if it is? I think it should take you there. But either way, if you go to my personal page, you'll see you're searching it right now. Does it come up?

Yeah, it does. Yeah. And another one that I did will be uploaded today. So by the time this episode comes out, it'll be there. And we're going to keep putting them up. This last week, I flew a plane. I know. I went to the Porsche driving experience.

I went with the chief instructor. We got to drive on the track. I did a powerlifting class. I did a boxing class. We're doing all kinds of classes and I've been documenting it. Really fun. A lot of calories burned. A lot of calories burned.

And then, what else? Oh, don't forget, here on our YouTube channel, your mom's house podcast YouTube channel, every week there's a bunch of stuff going up. There's The Honey Do With Ryan Sickler. There's Dr. Drew After Dark. There is So Over October with Leanne Kreischer and Christina P. You can watch it here or you can listen to it on the where my mom's at feed, right? Right, yes.

Well, we're only doing four episodes for the month of October. But you can watch it. And it's great because we get all the hot goss on Burt Kreischer. So if you guys want to go deep on him and what's doing there, it's fascinating. He doesn't take showers. Did you know he just swims in his chlorinated pool? Yeah. It's bananas and he'll go sweat and just that's it.

No soap on his junk. And apparently Leanne gives quarterly blow jobs. We learned that too. Yeah, yeah. I saw a clip of you talking about why I got one last week. Yeah. Yeah. It works.

It works. If you want tips like that, moms, listen to where my mom's at. I give you full marriage, marital advice and child rearing stuff. Wow, four years. So many. What? Four years. So many.

So many. I know. I only use them out. They're big guns though. Bobby and Trish have their regular thing. But then every now and then Trish has to go the extra mile. And then you can watch Two Bears, One Cave. You can listen to Bert and I talk about what thoughts our wives are.

How are you going to do that? This week? We do it. We do it. Oh, shit. And then there's, yeah. So we're doing that four time. We're actually doing it also throughout October.

And then we're going to do, we'll go back to our twice a month in November. Sorry, we just are busy. But that's that. It's exciting. Yeah. Thank you guys for watching and listening and downloading and listening to all the shows. Gene, earlier today we were driving to drop off our boy. We drove by the sweetest billboard sign.

Yeah. You've seen it for years. Yeah. What's interesting growing up in the San Fernando Valley and in LA here is that there's this workers, like a boot warehouse. The work boot warehouse. Yeah. And it's funny because it's had the same billboard since I would say the early 90s.

Like I've grown up with this woman. Yeah. And if you want to go ahead and describe her to him. She's hot and cool. And she's put together. She's got a tight little body. She's blonde. She's wearing short, short little Daisy Duke shorts.

And then she's got barely a top on like just kind of covers her nipples. Like you could see that she's got nice big healthy tits. And then she's got work boots on because she works in construction. Right. And as a young woman and around LA when I was a little teenager and I was like, God, that billboard makes me feel gross inside. And then now I've grown up with it, which is neat too. It doesn't change either.

Like it's the same girl since the 90s. Well, they said it's been the same girl. It's been the same girl. Yeah. I think maybe they, I just saw one of the things you hit said new girl on it. So maybe they finally updated it, you know, if she's been modeling for them for 20 years. Bananas. Because if you look at the, no, the other one to the left.

That you scroll it said new girl. Yeah. So maybe they, maybe they change girls. But I guess for the duration of it, the article, there was an article about how the inescapable billboard, how it's been all over the city, how it's been the same girl. And yeah, it's just like a hot, but you know, it was funny. I started reading the article and the people were like, you know, it immediately increased traffic stores and like, yeah.

Well, it must be working because like I, it's been around for 20 some years at this point. Here's the thing. It makes, it starts to make you think it. Obviously there's the thing where like somebody looks at it and they see like a hot, you know, half naked girl, but you're like, what would it work for selling work boots? And the answer is yes. Right. Not just because obviously, I mean, some people, yes, are dumb enough to go like, does she

work to her? And like, I was for the longest time as a teenager. I'm like, wait, that shakes a construction worker. But I'm saying like, then there's the subconscious part where the person who actually needs work boots, when they go like, oh, I actually need to buy work boots today, where are they going to go? Their first thoughts going to be like work boot warehouse.

That that's what it sticks in your mind. Yeah. And you remember it later. It's effective in not just the moment of like, the person looks at the sign or maybe remembers the name, but when they're actually going to spend their money, right? Then they go like, oh, I'll do it at the place that I remember the place with the half naked girl. And then there's another layer of your subconscious that will go like, maybe the girl who is in

those billboards. Now I have an affiliation with her. Now I'm like, really? Well, sure. Like she wears them and I wear them. Right. How do you get close to her? That's how I get close to her.

And even on an unconscious, irrational reptilian brain level, you go like, oh, I'm going to get laid. Like that chick's going to show up. And then you probably have that positive image when you look down at your boots in the morning. You put on your boots. You know, it can be a good day. I'm going to get laid. Yeah.

I'm going to have that big titted girl who wears barely clothes at the work sites. Sexy boots. She and I are going to. Yeah. And they're like the unsexiest boots. You know, it's, but it's true because all of advertising, it resorts to, it's either sex impulse, which is like the most primal happiness, right? Have a coke and a smile or McDonald's will bring you happiness or whatever.

And what else? There's aspirational is a big thing. So like nice things, right? Like a lot of times you see a commercial for a car. I'll notice that it'll be be a nice car, but the car will go in like beautiful terrain down a windy road up to what a beautiful home. Right. And then like the children come out and they're smiling.

It's a, you know, the wife comes out and the guy gets out of the car and it's like I'm home, but you're seeing like it's essentially like a movie of almost almost unattainable aspirational. It's like all your needs. It's like you have the wife who's your, whatever, sex, you get sex, you get love, you get approval. Everyone thinks you're the man. Everyone thinks you're the man. Yeah.

If you get this car. Fascinating. And it works time and time again. Right. Because then when you're looking for cars, you like in your mind, you're like, yeah, this is the car that'll get me to, to that place of happiness. I know. And you think of sex and they really do use it for like everything.

Sex is the number one though. Sex is number one. And it kind of does make you think, why aren't more businesses doing what work boot warehouse does? I agree. And using half naked girls to what? So to let you know that you have a doctor's practice. Right.

Right. Accounting. Accounting. That you're a lawyer. Lawyers are always like, their billboard is like they're in their suit when they're like, are you in an accident? You should have a girl, big kids out and be like, call me and I'll get you a settlement. Right.

Or like you think, or the, yeah, the big-titted girl is going to show up with a gurney when you're in the car. There you go. And she's going to put, she's going to save you. And then when you're in pain, she'll make you feel better. Yeah. To put her big tits in your mouth and then all the feel good milk will come in your mouth. That's right.

That's so good, Tom. You're so smart. You know what makes me think about though? I mean, we have a place that we need people to go. Yourmomshousepodcast.com, right? Or youtube.com slash yourmomshousepodcast. Why don't we get some billboards? That's a really good idea.

With just girls in bikinis. That's a great idea. Just hot girls. And then we'll just put our podcast name and then people were like, is this the show? No. You know, we should do it as an experiment. I think we should spend what, half a million? That's kind of excessive.

What? Maybe we start at something more reasonable. We put them all across America and I'm serious. How many billboards do we get? It would be dope if we just put like a hot chick and like your mom's house podcast. Yeah. Should we do throwback 90s style, which is it's bikini and heels. That was always it.

It's like the high pumps. And the bikini bottom that was like over the hips. Yeah. Those are high. Oh, right. The high hip one. And then you know what we should do? We should give them lollipops.

So they're like, like that was, that's like, or hoses. I'm wet. I'm wet. Yeah. Like the cherry pie video, remember? She's my cherry pie. Yeah. Cool drink of water.

You know what we could do though? We could. And she just rolls on the here I go again on my own. We could throw a wrench in it to like a little bit of a little bit of that of like what we're supposed to do, which is have the hot girl in the bikini. But then, you know, curveball, we have her just like eating a turkey sandwich. You know what I mean? So we're like, what is this all about?

Like drives the curiosity. Got you. You know what I mean? You got you. Yeah, that's a good idea. Or you lean really hard into it. And you go hot girl, barely wearing clothes, give her a gun, even better guns and fucking Americans love guns and fucking.

But also a burger. Right. Burgers, guns, bikinis, trying to think of anything else. Oh, America. Oh, yeah. I'm just trying to think of anything else. Yeah, beer. Walmart.

Oh, a car. Yeah. Cars. She's got to be on a car. Football. People like we love football in this country. All America. Thanks.

I like this idea and the big flag behind your big flag. We like the flag. That's true. The flag is pretty cool. This would be a pretty cool billboard. Well, you guys, go ahead and make it. Send us your designs. No, let's let's why don't we make you want to do yourself?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we should make it. Sure, sure. We should hire the photographer. Yeah. Check out some billboard rates. I'm serious. Yeah. What better investment than in the company?

Sure. Studio Jeans. Studio Jeans, man. Let's just do it. Let's do it. I'm 100%. And by the way, diversity. I want four or five girls.

Every group represented. You want one of every. I want small tits, medium sized tits, big tits. One of every tits. That's what you mean by diversity. Oh, I'm sorry. What were you talking about? Yeah.

I want full bush. I want landing strip. I want bald puss. Yeah. So noble of you. Yeah. Do you know that my dad in the 90s did that with his forklift business? Shocking.

Yeah. He had hot girl on the go. Bikini chicks on the forklift and that was his advertising. So horrible. It didn't work for him, though. The way. Really? Work boot warehouse.

No. I don't know. I don't know. I just remember. I was like, these are cool. Dad. Yeah. So weird, right?

How old were you? So horny. I'm 15. Oh, so you were new. I was up. Of course I knew. I was up. I'm like, ugh.

So weird. Did you see that? Like the where they are posters or billboards or what? He would put them on flyers and then mail them out to people. That's how you used to advertise. Oh, right. Right in the day before the internet. So then people would just go, what's this hot chick?

Forklift. I want to get fucked. I want to buy a forklift. That is what your brain's doing. Your brain's like, I want to get drunk and I want to fuck right now. And then it's like a girl's like, do you want this beer? And he's like, I guess. That's all advertising.

That's all. That's actually also, it's like all that we are kind of, we're so developed now in terms of the human mind, you know, in the historical perspective, like, but if you go back before we're, you know, we're more or less educated, your brain is just like, need to fuck. Yeah. So that's it now. Now you have a more developed brain that has to go, has to be tricked into doing like

what it's. Higher things. Yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, the only reason we're on this planet is to fuck and make other people really. All this other shit is secondary to the primary function of reproduction. All the other stuff is fancy ways to fuck basically. You're just trying to attract a better mate with your money and your career and your looks

and such. Yeah. Um, well, speaking of, there's so many, this video list looks amazing. It is pretty great. I'm just looking at the board. Got to get to it right now. Suwoo. Oh my God.

It is really taking over. People have been flipping out over all the Suwoo stuff. Suwoo nation. This is. Oh my God. Suwoo jeans nation. Tell me what you think of this right here. I know nobody don't want to hear this shit, but things about to go down on Vine Street.

We need all the bloods, all the crits, whatever. Whatever it is, we need, we need all of y'all. All of y'all. I mean, together. Does that always happen? You're not supposed to invite them. We need everybody that could help us because I got took him last night. My fucking rib hurts.

I got jumped and my brother last night got jumped too. Mom, I told him to take me back to my husband right here. They didn't do it. They brought me back around six o'clock in the fucking morning. Oh my gosh. She got kidnapped. She got took him. She got kidnapped and she's like, now we need all the bloods and crits to unite to defeat

the kidnappers? Are the kidnappers like Chechnyan or something? Why would they unite to fight them? For her. Hey. Oh. If anybody knows Cam, tell him his bitch ass has got something coming for him because I'm not going to motherfucking fuck with his damn bullshit.

If anybody knows Cam, you better send him a message telling them that Jar said he's got something coming for him and he's got something waiting on him. So tell him to bring this bitch ass on motherfucking money still in bitch. Did people put this on YouTube? Like it was just a general video to the world? Yeah. Like you think this was a just send it to the person it's intended for? I don't know.

I don't know. This is quite a cast that they assembled. What I liked is he had a dribble like your favorite guy. I know. He did. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. All right. I can say and if anybody out there that want to help us jump these motherfuckers, let's get the shit cracking. Let's get the shit cracking. Y'all better come up on Jacksonville. Yep. Yep.

Burn some guns, bring some knives, all of this shit. Wow. Why did they jump her, Tom? She doesn't seem to be gang affiliated. I'm not sure why she's getting jumped. I think she is gang affiliated. Oh, is she? Believe so.

I think that's the actual definition of gang. She's a gang member. No, no. She's a filth. I mean, you know, her husband and her brother are super down. Oh, so she got jumped because she is. I don't know why. Got you.

Sorry. I'm just so confused. There's so much. Yeah. She can kiss my ass. So I got that same time. She can use the grossing balls and shit. Put them all in and down my mouth.

And she goes to there and say, me and my man ain't no blood. Bitch, we is blood. Oh, I'm sorry. I misunderstood. Now it's clear. Now it's clear. This video is so deep, man. There's so many layers to it.

I mean, there's her. There's the call for all gangs to unite. There's the need, the call for weapons, guns and knives. It looks like they're going after kidnappers. Yeah, then Josh makes an appearance in the video. Hey, this is Josh. Hey, this is Josh. Oh my God.

She has all her teeth, which is a little upsetting. Let's go back to Josh. Hey, this is Josh. Anybody knows Cam? Anyone knows Cam? So Cam, did Cam commit the kidnapping? I'm assuming so. She said she was beat and dropped off at 6 a.m.

Man, this video is amazing. Holy cow. And then she's like, we're definitely bloods. She's like, we're family bloods. Like our whole house is. And we are blood day all night long. Because you know what? I was fucked in.

He was jumped in, bitch. Look at the fuck right. She was fucked in, Tom. Maybe a whole bunch of bloods fucked her. I think so. It sounds like that might not be in the guidebook. But like five or six bloods were like, you want to be in the gang? She was like, yeah.

All right, all right then. Bend over that chair. And when we done fucking you, you were blood. Jesus Christ. Like a Wu-Tang video. Oh my God. That's so depressing. I can't believe you're laughing.

Oh, that's the best part. She gets gang banged by the bloods. And she thinks she's in the bloods. I got fucked and you can see everyone's like, huh, that's not what we do. My boyfriend's like, wait a minute. You just got fucked. I was fucked in.

It's that part of it at all. Hey, so yeah, I'm a Laker. Because one time they were in Salt Lake and they all fucked me and now I'm on the team. Try that line. Oh my God. Fuck the police. Fuck all of it.

I'm blood, fuck all of it. Y'all can suck my bitch. Suck my bitch. You know what's funny is I was going to say she should call the police. She got jumped. How do you get here in life? How do you get to this day?

You got to be fucked in. You got to be born and fucked in. Life has to fuck you real hard. You think your family sucks. I know, right? Do you think Josh is her dad? No, I think Josh is her brother. Yeah.

They don't look very... How do I put this? Genetically diverse. They look a little... You know when Bitsy, she's not the brightest puppy because she's been bred in and in and in and in. Yeah.

Pure breed. That toe over there. That toe over there. That toe over there. That toe over there. Now I got another Soo Woo clip for ya. You do? Okay, I got one last one.

This one was sent in. This last clip of this though. Oh, I'm sorry. I tapped out emotionally a while back. I don't know if I can... But if y'all need to comment, please let us know. If y'all want to get involved in this shit. Because I got jumped.

And I don't know if I'm going to stay pregnant long because that got jumped. Oh my gosh. She just got nutted by the whole 5th floor crew. What is that? It that bitch

only knew when I was on time singing it. She was getting nutted by the whole crew. Hey, hey, hey. The 7th floor crew. The 7th floor crew. Damn.

You'd think that would be the first thing she'd talk about on this video. Like, I'm pregnant and I got jumped. Just so you know, here at your mom's house. Bitch, we is blood! I don't speak for any side, okay?

So what you got for me? You got another thing? This one was sent to me. Okay. It's a prison cooking. Prison cooking? You know how much I love Danny Brown's jail recipes? Yeah. Well, somebody sent this video to show us how these

jentamine. And they have big cocks. Okay. Here we go. Oh wow. You know what I'm saying? We use all this toilet paper. We're going to make a little fire

that's going to cook and roast. You know what I mean? The summer sausage. This is called prison cuisine. And this is how we cook and this is how we get out of jail. Does that start, David? It is. Yeah. What's up, man?

So he's going to show you how to make a bratwurst, essentially. This guy is going to make a source of fire in his prison cell. You're going to die how he does it. It's fascinating. And notice why I made all the little cuts in it right there. See the cuts?

That's the way it's going to cook inside real good. Then I take this one. You know what I'm saying? Bam! So dope, dude. These guys are geniuses. What happens is you end up figuring out how to do things when you have limited resources.

You just do it. 100%. This is why civilization exists. People live in the woods now, primitively, basically. There are civilizations that still exist where they don't have any outside influence or life. There's that one.

Remember it was in the news last year that they haven't had outsiders there. And then some missionary was like I'm going to help them fight and they killed them. And they just threw his body in the ocean. Everybody was like don't fuck with that. But I mean

how are we going to start the fire? See how easy it is. Bam! See that? Light it up. See that? It's amazing. You know what I'm saying?

Look at that. First of all, I don't know how we got the hot dog. He has to be really careful about that fire alarm going off. That many things he has to be careful of. I think a guard finding him. He essentially wadded up a ton of toilet paper

to create like a what does that call like a little burner? He created a fire source and then he lit it with with the outlet. And now he's roasting, reticering a hot dog over his toilet. He put the thing on the toilet seat.

I'm going to take this. I'm going to check about five, three or four minutes and I'm saying that it's going to be nice and black and I'm going to have black and summer sausage for what I'm planning to eat today. Just keep talking to the synagogues man. So who know how we do it? Oh!

Now how he managed to turn his cooking lesson into a blood shout out. I don't know. He's like, you know how we do it. That's how Bloods do it. Oh, that's how Bloods do it. Dude, yeah. That's a real fire he's got going. You see it's nice and black

and now, yeah, now it's red. That's called burnt my man. That's a burnt dog. That is not black. You burned the shit out of that. Yeah. But now I can do my favorite cooking today. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? Shout out Danny Brown. There you go man. Oh my God. It is too black but the good thing is

he can just put that fire in his toilet and then flush it. Look at that smell in here man. You know. It smells like fire and hot dogs. It's delicious. Nah, I took a shit. Summer sausage.

If you guys have any more of these I just love these videos of prison cooking. I'm forever fascinated. I wish Danny Brown would do a jail cooking show. Yeah, that would be great. Date is okay. Oh, mine aren't up there yet. This is clarity beats.

Do you know what you're going to be? I do. Let's see. I'm doing Seattle the 22nd. That's almost sold out and then Portland at the Aladdin Theater November 23rd. Those are almost sold out. Also I have a residency going at Flappers

in the You Who Room every Thursday. I just do. It's a small room like 50 tickets that sells out real quick. So if you're interested, go get tickets to that. And I'm proud to announce the Rider-Dide Tour continuing through 2020. I have these dates lined up first

on January 30th through February 1st. Houston improv and then in March 20th that weekend I'm in the Miami improv and then March 26th Dallas at the Addison improv and then April 4th

in the cities again at Carolines and then April 24th to 25th in Des Moines, Iowa. Des Moines. That's up higher tickets now at Christina P. online. Beautiful.

If you're coming to see me, Europe is all sold out with the exception of Paris has a few tickets and London has a few tickets. Everything else is all gone. Then I will be in Kingston, New York November 6th. A late show was added in New York City at the Beacon Theatre

November 7th. A late show was added in Ben Salem at the Parks Casino that's November 8th. Tickets available in Syracuse November 10th Charlotte November 13th and Lake Charles, Louisiana

November 15th. From there there's tickets in a few tickets left in Melbourne in Miami and Erie and a late show in Columbus. Those are in December and the Melbourne Miami is late November and then

I think I told you Australia only has a few tickets left in Melbourne and that's it, less than 100. All the other ones are gone. Auckland, New Zealand has a few tickets left and I will be at the Mirage a few times next year in Las Vegas. Those tickets are also on sale

all at TomSugar.com Thank you everybody for supporting our show and we're back here in one second and joining us is fan favorite and lover of ladies of all types Josh

Potter. I gotta give me one of those billboard girls. Yeah, it's gonna happen for you. We're about to take it to the next level. You and I, when this episode comes out it'll be just a few hours before we embark on a European tour. That's right, this comes out on that day.

That's right and the question is can Europe make Josh come? Those European sluts. There's a lot of different hose that we're gonna be able to talk to there. You're gonna be in Hungary, Berlin, Antwerp, Amsterdam, Paris, London,

South or Dublin. What if you were to bust in every city? That would be monumental. Then I'd have to be like if I were to meet Russell Brand I'd be like what's up, we're the same, right? You know what I'm saying? There's like coxmouths out there. That's like fucking all over the world.

I'm one of them then. I think you might actually end up moving there if that happens to you. If I come in a particular country I might have to move there. May I say, put out there, my tribe Are you gonna politic your country? I'm saying Budapest is known for its beautiful women,

the women are stunning, and we're a porno capital of the world. Rocco lives there. What? He lives there. We need to call him. His wife is Hungarian. You know what I should do? Hey, you know what I should do? I should hit up Yoshi and tell him we're gonna be in Budapest

and see if he wants to have lunch. He'll be like I can make you come. He just does it. He just reaches out of the table and you're like It's just years and years that he doesn't minutes. He doesn't even stop eating his sandwich.

Rocco made me come at lunch. It's in public. Yeah. What does he say when he does it? He's like it's okay. It's nasty. I like when you're nasty. And then lick my ass, lick it.

Oh yeah, it's only smells. I like it when you're nasty. He is the best. He's retired multiple times and he's always like He just won an award. This year he just won a porno and he won

Best Male Performer. Dude has to be pushing 60. He's over 50. Yeah, of course he is. He's been at it for like 30 years. And with the same vigor and drive

because the trauma has never healed. That's right. That documentary you're like Oh my god. I don't think a truer sentiment has ever been spoken. Dude, you watch that documentary and you're like Jesus Christ.

I was like you know how like when you watch something and you're like kind of looking at your phone or whatever? I was doing that. I was like looking at my phone and then all of a sudden I was like oh wait what? Did they just say that for real? He is. If you haven't seen the Rocco documentary

there's a legit amazing documentary that it basically captures this year getting up to when he was going to retire and he did in real life and it's captured in this but he was like it's time.

He was like it's time for me to stop and not my sons can do pardon. Yeah. Past the aides Baton. What's interesting too. He's fucking this shit out of people too. He's not just like yeah let's have sex. He's like stepping on necks

and fucking putting heads in trash cans. That's so aggressive. He tells a story. What's the story about? You're not the same after he fucks you. We couldn't even watch the whole documentary. It was so upsetting. Remember we didn't get through it. I couldn't get through it.

Oh I got through it. There's a part where like his dad dies or something. No his mom. His mom dies and he goes to sit on his aunt's lap and he blows his hand. I'm serious. You almost got it. He did die.

He was very close to his mom. He went to visit his mother's best friend. His mother's best friend at the time was an old woman. Like an 80 year old woman. He was overcome with emotion and sadness and what he did in that moment was pull his dick out

and shove it in her mouth and he came immediately and then he left in shame. I think that's a healthy way for sadness to manifest. We all grieve different. It's a healthy process. That is a story that he tells willy-nilly.

He told me that when you were taping with Russell Peters years and years ago. This is a decade and an alleyway behind a theater and I met Rocco. He's like nice to meet you. He told me that story in person years ago. I asked him about the aggression in porn

I was like at the time he had already been in it decades. What do you think of this trend? Porn used to be how in the 80s they were just happy to fuck and he was like I know

it's what the people want. Today a woman she blow me until she vomit. She make her some vomit. He goes she wanted to do this. I was like He's so charming though. There are some savages out there. You've been with some.

There was some wild. Oh yeah not me. Do you always do you choke ladies? If they want it. I'm not like if they want it. I'm a good guy. I'm not volunteering but if they're like

choke me I'm like alright. I can't even see that. You have friends who are women. There's a lot of women who are like I like being choked but they don't admit it until you're in the room. Yeah. I don't know. My friends are married nerds. That toe over there.

You know what I I see Josh for some reason in alleyways in like Berlin. Like some dirty scallywag I'll tell you you're going to say bourbon. I'll tell you my fantasy for this European trip.

We do the shows you know have dinner then I'm like see you later and then next morning on my phone it's like I want to have breakfast and I'm like sure buddy and then we go downstairs for breakfast and I'm like so tell me about last night he's like well Svetlana

was like some chick she was at the show and then she followed me back out of here and then I was in a he's going to tell me stories every morning. Oh yeah Menagee Toise and Paris. That would be wild and then yeah in Paris like

I have to French in France. You have to French in France. I think well I think domestically it's like you know it happens right. But I think the fact that you're on a stage and you're foreign right there's like this exoticness to it. I know

there'll be like a lot of expats at the shows that's typically what happens but I still think when you're like oh yeah like what are you doing here in Paris. I'm a comedian and you're going to I think it's going to lead to easy entry. Also side note when I lived

in England for a year the Englishmen sorry to offend whoever's listening but they don't have a lot of game bro they're very kind of timid and more pullback so if you were to be the aggressor in London

I picture like Englishmen being like Hugh Grant. They're cute. They're so cute but they're not really good at game like they don't really know how to talk to women. You have to be introduced through mutual friends and such like I never got hit on oh you had a fight.

Yeah they're kind of yeah they don't they don't not like the French are very aggressive you'll be sitting in a train station and they'll just be like do you fancy a point and in Germany too no the German men are pretty good so in France in France they're

I mean cat calling is like ridiculous right they're going to I don't know that's Italians the Italians are more and that's what the Germans were like repressed so that they have to like watch shit porn

I think there's there's like no there's going to be no you know sense of shame you just go like pissing my ass yeah and Hungarians are pretty open too

and that's exciting there's a lot of hookers there in Budapest oh yeah well the Russian mafia runs a lot of night life well they did back in the day I'll hook you up by the way

isn't your winner of Make Josh Come aren't you seeing her soon oh yes I'm going to see her when we get back are you excited? I am of course always excited yeah I'm excited for any opportunities to try and come you know

now what's going to be your play with this girl who won the contest the play is over we're meeting up and fucking what's the play? correct but I'm saying I know this is literally so we don't have to have a play but I'm saying will you be like are you going to play timid because I know you kind of generally like the woman

to be the aggressor will you hang back and let her do or are you going to be like let's do this bitch how are you going to approach I mean it's going to be one of those play it by ear situations but I think all the people out the window as far as like having to be like so how are

what's new you know who cares you basically this is the most desirable setup that could exist exactly it's basically like you know why you're here I know why I'm here and here's the thing it's like it's almost like prostitution but for fun

there's no money there's no exchange it's just like do you want to do this I want to do this yeah it's like tinder but on a grander scale and you're going to you guys are going to have full reports afterwards sure now I'm hoping that we also can get a full report from her that's fine maybe you can set that up

where she can send in a video and recap the night you know what I mean or phone conversation so you can ask her yeah yeah that'd be great do you think she'll be crying like that theme song oh my god that would be that would be so amazing

amazing she's like see I'm not even fearful I'm not even fearful of that I know she's going to call in and you're going to sense her glow over the phone wow I didn't see this kind of confidence coming so are you going to just lay back and let her

Josh right here come now are you going to just lay back and let her do you are you going to try to make it pleasant for her I'm going to hypnotize her and then I'm going to be like she's going to do me he's going to nail it

I'm being serious are you you've forever ruined how we say that word we say elementary in our house but I'm saying are you going to try to make it pleasurable for her too are you going to let her do her thing no no no I'm going to make it it's going to be like a regular sex rep

you know what I'm saying now you're going to be hearing that in the hallway sure will you take her back are she coming to your home will you be putting no sorry I didn't

it's a host house situation will you be wearing anything special like a condom do you wear condoms with these hosts you're never going to come then she's not really I think she knows what's wrong what does that mean she knows what's up

she knows that they're both going to get tested before she's super cool she knows that if you got lube and a tight butt there's maybe a chance he'll finish that's what she knows it's going to go to butt stuff I don't know about that but maybe

are you into butt stuff you've done it before yes I have actually I never came from it it was actually kind of I don't know if you've done it but it's like very like alright is it in there

it's hard to put in there it's a lot of process I don't know how these gays do it it's a lot of process gotta warm up to it this might be too personal this might be too personal a question but okay good

are you into mouth kisses or butt stuff or vagine stuff more like what's your that's too personal I don't know I guess just the old fashioned vagina I like what will make you come that's what I'm trying

it's probably going to be in a mouth mouth is less pressure for you you see a nice mouth and you get right to it come now baby get off so long

I prayed to god that's me that was so sexy that was the longest dude you're the person who knows rpc the most you've been the closest to him you've been in his home you've sat nude next to him

while he's nude for people that don't know there's a big update and people are just destroyed by this his youtube channel has been taken down it is unfortunate his youtube channel has been taken down he notified me of that all videos

598244BC 613 61448 r1777 268559 r3244 all of them are gone did he tell you what happened he said they took my youtube down

and I said oh no I was very devastated and then I tried to get him back on the instagram because he's on there messaging he sends me messages and I said why don't you do your videos on instagram like you used to

with your new account and everything and he said I don't have the app and I said well how are you using instagram you know you're talking to me on it right now he's like christ so what I've concluded is that he's using the browser on his phone

but he has an iphone yeah brand new one so why doesn't he just download the app he's working on it I said you gotta download the app let me know if you need any help because I'm working on it so it'll get there we'll figure it out

but tom remember when your dad would ask you how to watch your specials on netflix oh my god this is the first one I was 15 when I completely normal came out and he was like where's the special and I go it's on netflix

he goes how do I get it and I go to netflix.com and sign up and he goes that's all I need to do and I was like yeah and then it was like you know it's been out now let's say a month and he's like is your special still out

and I was like yep he's like it's on netflix now how do I get it you just go to the website you fucking sign up and this happened then this was nine months later like it had been out a year it started to track decently I'm like selling tickets

and he's like what's going on it's because of the special the one on netflix yeah the only one I have he's like I need to see it how do I see it you go to netflix.com and you sign up you fucking tiktok who's on first yeah it was so upsetting

to watch this show and I just told her don't bother so you don't want to see it so you by the way you were touring a little while ago your tour went great yeah it was a nice little run I have some other ones coming up

what's coming up well I'm going to be in Buffalo November 10th that'll be fun at helium comedy club one night and then November 23rd I'm going to be in Baltimore so that'll be pretty dope and then starting in January

big time stuff the only one that's announced or on sale right now is Boston at Laft Boston January 2nd through 4th that's exciting and is Boston on sale yes oh Boston you better get those tickets yes it's on sale right now the others haven't gone on sale yet

but I mean they're coming so just stay close we'll obviously announce it here and then as always my twitter is at j underscore potter and instagram is at josh underscore potter a lot of people

make sure you get tickets to see josh hit me up I guess I had a flub last week I don't know if you picked up on this or not I don't know if you heard this but are you Jew would flender are you gender fluid are you jewish are you fluid jewishly

I don't remember that people have been saying a lot to me are you Jew would flender Jew would flender what's that called is it a malpropism is that what it is are you fluid jewishly

how great a guest was jessica curse on by the way oh my god this is one of those things too that like I know some people have to go like if I don't know this name and I'm not listening or watching I would tell you right now if you're listening or watching hands down one of the best guests we've ever had

fantastic she's so funny and her standup is she has a special out on comedy central watch that go see her live if you can she's fantastic she's in New York yeah she's really great are you fluid jewish flender did you see

this couple that had been drinking clearly they've been drinking all night and now they're ready to go upstairs just made me laugh oh they're just gonna go upstairs look at those stairs he's got two hands he's got two drinks she's got a drink and like a phone

in her hand right and then she crashes into the wall is this that movie the staircase check out like this guy right here look how high up he is the full break there that's painful

that's so far it's not even like he tumbled down them he just got up that's the only good thing about being that drunk is that right he keeps the muscles relaxed and then you'll pop up from something like that and be like I'm alright

if he was sober the fucking ambulance would be there she didn't even make the turn she just went straight into the wall and also she didn't turn when he fell fucking faster which you know that had to be loud like oh

that was lucky that he didn't take her out too they're old they shouldn't be falling like this are they drunk or are they just old look she's still in the same spot is he going up again is this not a replay he's going up again look at her

she doesn't know where to go she made one step progress oh my god she's too old to be that wasted have you ever been this drunk before yes oh my god golly that was pretty graceful actually

yeah he's like god damn it because right now he knows that his next drink is not coming right away that's why he stayed up there I was hoping she got to the top and he was like alright just threw her down like scar yeah

I'm not sure why we're laughing he just fucking leaves her down there and he goes has his drinks he's like this is a great night she brings him the drinks he takes one and then he goes peace ah look how slowly

he's checking I felt she didn't even check on him by the way but look he's not even bending down you're right well you saw the tumble he made so I mean the fact that he's even checking on her is nice enough

that's true where were you when I flew down the banister bitch it's true she might be dead and he's like this is an awesome night probably isn't this your dream your fantasy that I just don't come upstairs anymore you're like I heard her

I don't know goodnight I heard a thud and I heard a gasp for air and then I went to sleep I'm tired I heard help and then I just went

I went to sleep I heard some whimpering that's the kind of staircases we're going to walk on in Europe though they are winding narrow ones this looks like it's in England are you excited I'm so excited

we're going to do some fun stuff too we're going to do a couple of fun things we're going to be there right I want to eat what you guys eat I'm going to make you eat good food I'm not picky in terms of eating just because I don't need a large quantity of food doesn't mean I'm not going to say that

well that's how you maintain that tight body fuck yeah because that's when I house somebody that's right thanks Josh get tickets to see them wrap up before our guest gets here you are so nasty

Josh and joining us now I'm very excited to welcome my favorite actress who's in the new movie coming out this week countdown you can see it in theaters all over the world

the great and talented and lovely Elizabeth Layle thank you for coming here thank you for having me we are big big fans we started out so hard so I was like one of those people we'll talk about countdowns too but I was one of those people

everyone starts talking about a show and you're like I'll fucking see it when I feel like it and everybody keeps talking about talk about you and then one day I'm actually just our normal night routine is that Christina goes to bed before me and then I just watch something for an hour

and go to bed so I'm going through the channel what's the queue I'm scrolling and scrolling everyone for the last two weeks talking about the view count I'm just going to start this show dude

the next morning I have like black rings I was like I watched five episodes of you last night and she was like what's you like it's great it's a stalker and then I get hooked I go to Madison, Wisconsin and I'm up all night I work at the club

and then I'm coming home until like five in the morning like I got a while and you're so impressive you're such a good actress you're the kind of actress that I think if other actors spend time with you they would quit because they realize they don't have it you know

like it's actually good to be around you and be like oh yeah I don't have that talent is that how you felt well he would come home from shooting the movie with you and he would go you gotta see this girl and then the director goes act or whatever

and then she goes straight into looking at her phone like it's something there and there's nothing there I know phone acting is the new thing you do little moments well you do it all well and I think that it reminds me of I remember being an acting class when I got out here

I went to one of the big acting classes and you see the full spectrum so there's people in there who you're like you're wasting your time you suck at this and then like your dreams are not realistic and then then there's like a whole thing in the middle of

you know this person could work like if the part is appropriate and the type this could work and then there's like a couple people when they get up there you're like holy shit they're way better than us and you're that that's you

it's great okay when you booked you you have no idea what it's going to be you just get the call do I want to spend my time being stalked

making out with random guys spoiler alert if you're watching or listening right now I'm telling you press pause and just jump in because season two is going to come out soon but season one is a maze

you're going to get stalked you're going to make out all these random dudes but you know we had Sarah on the show she's really special and it was I mean all because we just got obsessed with the show and then when I got a small part in this countdown which we'll get to

and that was one of the things they're like I was like who's in the movie and they're like oh Elizabeth I was like from you and then the first I was like I didn't know how to act I was like star struck well you shine in the movie

yeah I haven't seen it you shine like a bright star oh my god yes so be prepared let's go back to this moment okay let's go back to the moment let's go back to the moment you can close your eyes if it helps you

I'll play your agent and you can just hey Elizabeth is Chad from the agency great news you booked it you're going to be in a movie with check it out

Tom Segura was that it for you I was like who's Tom Segura yeah I live under a rock oh yeah I'm very famous you're very normal to me I am very normal

you're very girl next door I am in real life but then you have to play these like sexy lady how do you how do you do sexy lady stuff I have a lot going on underneath this you tap into it

you know you tap into your childhood trauma you tap into your shame so is the skill that you just I feel like you know how to access those things well the skill is that you have confronted them enough you can move past them

and let your true potential erupt whether that be like sexually speaking you get like all that bullshit shame out of the way how do you do that you process it with a therapist is that what you're saying yeah therapy excellent idea

breathing sounds simple but it can be life changing and then like in acting class if you take an acting class they tend to like rip you to shreds so they can build you back up so they can get at the good stuff

which is the truth of all humanity that's like living inside of us that's been like blocked yes throughout lifetime because I'm afraid of showing feelings and I'm not good with them and I think that's why I would fail as a professional actor right well at what

point in your life was it not okay to express yourself good question you want to talk about it I feel like we're doing a session right now every week but that is the secret is to be able to access all those dark shadow parts and be cool with them

and not know that it's a part of you and I really believe like every person is capable of every act and that includes like murder or love you know all all the greats unless maybe you have a major psychosis

I can't speak to that I'm not a doctor but the we're capable and that's why actors like it's it's true human expression it can be let's talk about the scene the best scene in the whole

series you where he's standing across the street oh yeah this is episode one oh is that right I mean you read that and you know what scene I'm talking about just say it just say it yeah

and you have to rub one out and do you read it and are you like fuck how am I gonna hurt I think my poor poor parents is that your first thought these are my biggest fans they've seen the show more than once

really oh shit that's the worst part that's the worst part all of a sudden you know my mom went around and she told all her church friends Elizabeth is plain an adult an adult

that's adorable that's really cute that was her way of saying don't freak out you've known this girl your entire life but she has a sexual expression on this show I think it's great though I think masturbating isn't

talked about enough especially particularly for women 100% and you know what's kind of cool like the cool tie-in is that in that show you're masturbating and then your mom's friends, husbands are masturbating to you

that is neat Tom it's kind of like you can't look anyone in the eye after that oh you've seen me but it's pretend it's super pretend it's the heightened version and is that what you go into it with

like hey I'm not real do this alone in my bedroom it's not as glamorous if I'm alone my face does not look that good so do you pretend do you practice your sexy faces like your masturbation faces

to prepare for the you have to look good while doing it yeah that's true real masturbation it's so ugly but you kind of want to be like hey you want to look cute the camera you need to be mindful

and in that moment she kind of turns into his dream girl he's like all of a sudden in front of her so it's not even quite true to life but most of the time when I'm doing anything I'm thinking oh this is what this looks like that thought runs through your head

in life all the time I'm like oh this is the truth of this moment but I would say it's mostly like choreography on the day I didn't practice sexy faces

but maybe next time because you have to look in the mirror you have to kind of know what your angle and what's going to look good but you kind of have to give all of that up you have to be willing to be free and just hope people aren't mean to you but that's what's hard to do

it's so hard to actually really be that vulnerable on camera that's what separates like really really great actors from like everybody else you have to be willing to like snot out of your nose and fall down and yeah

yeah masturbate do you know we applaud you but I stand by actors are not prostitutes no of course not that's a very old archaic way of thinking what do you mean there

well that's kind of the beginning of actors especially women the history of being an actor has been very precarious and then even like in the 80s it was like the casting couch so it has a lot of prostitute vibe attached to it

but I think the ones really doing it is not true at all no and I think what you did Meryl Streep is a prostitute but what you're doing is you're showing if that's what that means she's the best at it she is the best at it

but that scene wasn't without purpose that's whole over there you know what I'm saying it wasn't like every episode she's rubbing them out it was part of the spectrum of human emotion and as a character I support it I think the more women

seeing it hopefully they're like oh it's okay that I want to do that the thing about that series the thing about the series and the character you play is that you really especially with shows it's different than with a movie

with a show you really get to see all the layers and there's revelations and you get to see that like she has a sexual side you see the relationship with the family you see the insecurities you see the confidence you see a really fully developed character

it's so fun to watch that show I mean that's always the concern when you're signing up essentially to be the girl sounds bad but that's how it feels especially if someone else is already attached you're like okay they're looking for the girl

to play opposite of this boy and it's romantic and you just want to you don't want to be a prop you want to have dimension and the great thing was like Sarah Gamble our producer and creator she

had so much say inside of that and so she made sure that she was fully expressed do you realize as you're reading maybe do you realize how good it's going to be? you're just reading it like this is the work I'm signed up for

I really think to myself are these words that I want to say is this how I want to spend my day because it's very immediate effect and then everything else just like icing on top of the cake we had no idea that it was going to be a hit

or that it was going to be on Netflix you know now it's in Netflix there was that I think that changed the game for sure because it was on Lifetime to start which is so funny but it was so beautiful they did it so beautifully but it was saying

Lifetime show became a reference point that meant something if you said this is a Lifetime show it meant kind of like a woman's hallmark show it meant murder just being it's very hard for them to rebrand

to rebrand it but that show holy shit I mean so what was it like after like it gets on Netflix is it like right away like the day after it came out are you walking around like holy shit everyone's looking at me like is it one of those things yeah

if my hair is done you know if it's like curly which is what it is on the show I get a lot of recognition most of the time people say we'll follow you home

you're beautiful they say that in my DMs oh that's cool but no one says that to your face everyone's really nice to your face people have a lot bigger balls in messages they do

yeah so if ever my ego is feeling low I just scroll through I'm pretty great where are you from originally I'm from North Carolina I'm sensing very normal vibes like not weirdo what part of Carolina

it's dead center it's Ashboro there's the zoo there you've been to the zoo I haven't been to the zoo but I know Ashboro I went to college in North Carolina a very big city called Hickory my family is from Hickory

both grandparents yeah furniture capital that's right I didn't get into any other schools so I went to school there because they accepted me is this comedy school nope what do you qualify to do

not anything I have a communications degree I don't know typing degree there's just zero to do with it you're communicating now this is the stupidest question you've probably ever heard about acting but it gets me every time

so they always do your guys's hair the ladies hair you guys always have like perfect face tendrally so it's always like you'll have your hair up but then you'll have perfect face framing and then it's like how the you just act around

like the hair in your face I always see it and I'm like does she not want to do this does it bother you do you act around your hair because you know you can't touch it because then the hair person comes up to you it's sad it's best when it's free

so you can be free and you can touch it because what you do with your hair it says a lot about your character I think but then there's a continuity issue so if you want to have a side tucked you have to commit to that at the top of the scene

so that's the issue it's like that's one thing you just kind of have to hope doesn't stick to your mouth see because I saw you just now yeah and then it has to stay that's part of why I hate doing like television stuff because they'll cement it

lock your hair and then you're like like the whole time you feel like you can't emote or be yourself you have like really touchable hair I always ask for that you know what you guys could do just shave your heads

it looks good it's very feminine she'd look gorgeous with shaved head I'd have to wear earrings everyday though oh wait yes to be a little feminine well just so everyone knows yeah I'm a girl you've got a great face for the camera

this loves your face that's very kind I hope so look at the features on this girl you're just stunning I was just telling Tom that like in countdown there are all these shots of me looking at the phone and it's like right up the chin right up the nose

and I look like old no stop yourself show her the haircut Tom wants me to get so I wanted her to see that on the right there where it's like it's the skull it's like the Ben Franklin you shave the top

out the sides I think it's really really flattering who is that someone did that to you did it to me lady look they photoshopped it there just photoshopped the hair out of the top I mean it looks good

but that's because you're beautiful there you go well I feel prettier when I have the skull it's easy I can act without any hair Elizabeth is such a good actress this happened to me when I did the other one

the last year you're in a scene with a really good actor and you start watching them and you're like they have a really good acting and then the director is like you're doing the scene right now and you're like oh right you just watch her you're like oh my god when I was with Margo Martindale or Julie Hagrid

we'd be talking talking talking like this and act and then you're like watching and you're like oh wow you're doing like a whole thing right now and then you like say your line you're like yeah we should go there and they're like that was terrible and from the top

they don't say that's terrible but they're just like let's go then they'll whisper something they're like hey why don't you dial it back a little bit oh my god he would tell me that on what is it what was it called instant family no he would be like that was real douchey the way you said that

kind of being like a real asshole kind of maybe pull that back a little bit that's why I would normally say it he was like yeah that's right don't do that so you're saying you're watching yourself when you're filming Countdown you're just watching the dailies of it

do you watch yourself after I don't watch myself during and this is after this is like the trailer and the trailer is all these shots of me looking really concerned at my phone there you are there you are that one's not terrible

that's much worse let's see see the acting when Elizabeth calls out pause give her a let's see which everyone can see our phones have become essential apps keep track

of our schedules our fitness but what if an app could tell you how long I got 63 years 57 years before you die would you want to know

what two days this app it's fake obviously my girlfriend said the same thing it knew that app said she was going to die whatever is happening to us

I think it's because of this app I need a new phone a new phone, new number that was your least favorite wait scroll back a little bit it might be there might be some more of it

I don't know let's see because of this app I need a new phone look at that pig Jesus Christ what are you 30 there what do you weigh like 390

yes isn't that funny that we see that stuff on ourselves we see the worst parts of ourselves I would never think that 0.0% of people we're like who's this fatty gosh so old so tired

and haggard there are nights that you don't sleep before you have to film the next day it's a very non sleeping job yeah so how do you look genetically do you have sleeping tricks by the way I sleep all the time

that's the trick long shooting days are the worst I'd rather sleep than eat it becomes the priority so you just go home luckily for me I was here alone in this

little hotel extended stay hotel in Chatsworth it's really lovely they spent no expense for you indie filmmaking I just went home and I just put myself to bed

and you can do it quickly immediately I go over the stuff for the next day and that's kind of like reading in bed that's another lesson for me from the last couple years just booking a few parts I always thought that when you book a movie

there would just be like intense preparation from everyone to shoot a scene and people are like hey where are we shooting today on the set okay we'll shoot in a little bit is that your preparation for this some people are just so warm

they're so talented that they can just like on the day especially in television because you're doing it for months at a time you get really used to your character I can't do that not yet

back to you there's so many great characters in that season from your friends there's so many so great that bitch yeah great show though and great actors

now in your career what's the hardest line you've ever had to deliver I asked Alyssa Milano that when she was here you know you read something and you're like I can't this one oh man I wish I could I wish I had written it down

there were some in countdown that were hard really? because you're living in this really dramatic situation that wouldn't ever happen to you in real life so you don't know what you would say to a demon you know what you would actually say

sure or if you saw like your dead mother come back to you you don't really know what the truth of that is so you're just kind of like blindly saying it over and over again I remember

I had to say some really simple stuff that sometimes just feels weird like Dr. Sullivan gets pulled away I don't want to give too much away at one point and I have to turn and say I've got to explain it really quickly

like oh it's because of the app I have to say something I don't know what I can give away because it hasn't come out so now I'm editing myself so nobody's going to understand this story until they see the movie but I remember watching it afterwards and I was like whoa that really worked

that line that felt really iffy clunky on my part really worked so sometimes you just have to go for it and hope for the best I always told Justin

our director was like tell me please tell me if it's awful tell me what to do it's so hard to make the transition from what we normally do which is on stage to filmmaking because

the feedback is immediate to filmmaking shooting something where they're like and moving on you're like was that good and you're like okay but like you know on stand up you're like this bombed or this went well and you know right away

and you never go like I wonder if people like that joke you just know how do you do it watch me act huh do people like that joke that's how I would do

yeah you're right they just go next so how do you not get in your head are you just so used to this you have to really trust your director you have to really trust that someone will be telling you stop yeah it looks too

too pretty well yeah for that right how about love scenes you had to do love scenes is that super uncomfortable there's a lot of giggling on my part cause I'm a 14 year old girl about it

give me advice I'm shooting a love scene give me advice fine someone on set who you really like and who you feel comfortable with and have them stay in the room with you during the love scene oh really that's what I do

cause I end up making friends on set wardrobe is there like with the robe so my good friend Lucy on you would be in the corner with the robe waiting to cover me and I'd be like looking over her laughing

giggling like I'm straddling this really handsome man right now what do I do and then and then it's choreography and in the choreography is it is it really choreographed or do they like do this turn they give you

it's actually hard because they give you general things like okay and you're gonna be straddling him and then have sex they'll say have sex you know whatever that is are the guys ever creepers or are they all nice guys

thank god thank god do you mind if I really get in there do they get do you mind if I really get in there their curves would be over over now do they get boners of course

I think they get camera shy so they don't get boners men are not as like masculine as they like to think they are on camera in that situation I think they're also feeling really awkward and exposed

because they have on those like little nude tidy whiteies so no I haven't noticed any bonus man I would be most worried about that too which maybe because of being that worried about that

then you go up inside of you I think they get shy I think that makes sense they get shy it's mostly awkward unless you got like a real thought in your scene and then you know but there's two cameras

you know on either side there's a lot going on newfound respect for porn actors and then like the night before are you like alright I gotta do that thing tomorrow right the prep

that's my issue the prep how close are they actually gonna see and then I gotta get my stomach flat probably can't eat a pizza man and your breath are you like

nice you had that real nice fart that you woke me up to you're welcome that could be nice for a lovey that's married life yeah I was like so romantic that's what you want

yeah that's what I would do with my lover on set my paramour I had a really bad countdown farty day I went somewhere on chats with the day before did not go well the next day I was so bloated and I kept farting

but nobody when you're the actor nobody says anything everyone just pretends like you don't fart do you remember any of the scenes that day because do you remember I feel like it was in the hospital

in the hospital because this could be added to the trivia yeah it's like what is really going on scene she's 17 Elizabeth Lail the star of countdown farted a lot this day it's gonna be there now

it's definitely there right now if you go to IMDb it's there Elizabeth Lail had a very farty day maybe they'll make an app about it I will we have to ask stupid questions what about making fake romance with someone you're just not attracted

to your love interest is like barf not your steeze at all how do you well luckily in this business even if you're not sexually drawn to someone or romantically drawn to them they tend to be pretty interesting people

and fairly handsome they're not real dogs yeah they tend to be you at least have one thing in common I mean hello no no but you didn't make out with Elizabeth I know but I'm saying

this is the kind of person in this business what about Frenching Frenching scenes I feel like you avoid Frenching at all costs unless they're like right here and it really needs to be sexy right because we don't like

Frenching in movies I don't like it I don't like it in real life either if you notice it's mostly the guy like slipping it in there I would never make out in life like when people I'm like really I'm totally opposite

I would stand there and watch them all day I'd rather watch them puke I love PDA really? I love it but I'm talking about like you know like mouths open I think it's the

I'm just shocked by people I think I like to watch people and I'm shocked how far they're willing to go what if your co-star was like this and Elizabeth back to the top oh my god I can't look away

wait I can't look away I'm horrified well that's a bad kiss oh really you don't think that's a good kiss do you think that Joe I want to show you a guy I want to know if you think he has

I'm sorry I forgot what's his name it's Joe from the series too that's right and what's the actor's name though it's Penn he's no dog chow he's very handsome do you think this guy has Joe vibes

good morning Julia it's me Joe just wanted to say hi wish you a great day tell you that meeting you yesterday and getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life you were so beautiful

you don't know how beautiful you are to me I mean just you're gorgeous you're precious but it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex boyfriend please erase him from your memory don't ever go back in the past

I know because I've been there and I understand when you know you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates and nothing compares to your ex but there is that better person out there and Julia I promise you

it is me hahaha oh boy so you wanted the story for this we met we actually got to meet Julia so we know the story of how this is she okay? she's alive

this man met was at her gym saw her name in the sign in sheet followed her out to the parking lot just began conversation normal it was like hey you know wanted to ask her out she was like oh kind of getting back with my ex he's like well you know can I call you

sometime and she was like uh yeah I'll take your number how about that so as she pulled her phone out he just took it put his phone number in and then called himself so he had her number and then then next morning sent her this video

I will love you like you've never been loved before I will cherish you I'll make you feel like a woman a real woman and believe me you won't even know who your ex boyfriend is open up your heart to me in your arms

your heart I could see me falling in love with you oh boy I just looked in your eyes and I just melt oh no are you in? are you turned on? what's going on? I'm way out this is uh

this is why you shouldn't give people your number we're too nice I do that it's terrible I'm heading off to work this is my cute little home everything you see behind me I've built everything

every square inch from crown mold into chair rail to floors to lighting to plumbing doors windows he has a list all he's plugging himself well here was Julia telling us what happened oh

that's just a woman crying that's scary if you got this video a day after meeting someone I would block them immediately he sent more videos too unless you were truly interested in them

well or you just want to get some meet videos because I think she kept the lines of communication open just to at some point to get more videos with her friends no just got a couple of videos and was like gotta go

I have to say he's been in our lives now for a couple of years and watching it again after having taken a break it really is creepier than I remember when you take a break from it it hits you like it's new again yeah I felt those feelings we were like repulsion

I'm seeing the emotions very clearly almost like it didn't have the intended effect I don't respond well to people who look at you and decide that they could fall in love with you or you know what I mean

that doesn't resonate true to me you mean some guy that's just a near looks and doesn't give a shit about the intent well I mean even if they're trying to be like romantic like all of a sudden I don't buy that I don't really buy out of the gate romance

Dr. Drew he does our show here he said he would describe it as stalking behavior okay he's very capable of taking it to another level so yeah

oh gosh freaks me out so now so you are are you on all the social media which ones are you on I'm only on the Instagram actively

and I have a Twitter but I just use it to read read things you know I don't know if you thought about joining Facebook but if you do

you might want to make an announcement like one of our buddies did over here well I guess it's official we're now on Facebook and a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense she said think of it more as a conversation I like that

this is someone you know yeah yeah yeah just keep watching but I'm already finding out on my own so it's wiping the walls out between you and me and I really like that it allows us into each other's worlds or I guess in my case hotel room

see her got her reaction when I think about things I want to post I want to post cool stuff slick stuff, neat stuff but most of the stuff I'm going to post is going to be raw stuff like this this is just who I am oh

so if this is truly a conversation then I say let the conversation begin what would you rather get the good morning video sent to you I think I could fall in love with you for this video which strikes you as worse

you know what I think I'd rather get this video isn't it super creepy though yeah but this guy he seems far away that guy seems close too close for comfort and this guy seems like somewhere on the internet

what is your assessment of this person though what do you think is going on here he looks lonely he's alone in his hotel room he's lonely that's my assessment he also has weird language he does that thing

where he comes down what's that about in acting it's forced sincerity that's a good way of saying it but you think it's forced sexy he's trying to elicit a sexual I like that

a lot of times when you go down it probably means you don't want to say what you're actually saying or you're not willing to say it with full confidence if you're not getting to the end of the line maybe he's hiding something

and that's what it looks like maybe I have a boner under here maybe that's what that looks like maybe I know where all the bodies are buried and also Facebook is old news when is this video from this is from

a few years ago he's such a dad boy he's such a creeper I think we should reveal though who it is it's a little known singer named Garth Brooks

that's Garth is he married to someone? Trisha Yearwood I don't know my country singers that well you don't need to who is he wanting to talk to? this is his message to the fans this is how he got started with them

so I was thinking if you wanted to maybe get on especially because the movie is coming out and be like hey it's me Elizabeth lines of communication are open there you go we have to go down

do what you were doing do breathy and then go I like that can you give us a read I like that I really like that you have to whisper it

I'm seeing your Facebook followers jumping up it's either that I prefer to speak than the naked photos situation yeah the swimsuit

obviously I wouldn't be good at it because this is my pose do you have to do that as an actress on your Instagram you feel like you have to do that I follow Bella Thorne and she's naked in bed with ladies and dudes doing her thing

she loves it wow this is his attempt at getting closer to his fans that's the weird part Garth Brooks here in iconic Notre Dame locker room all the players go out to take the field every Saturday

this is where all our players are getting ready to take the field for this concert so tonight the fighting Irish they're going to become the singing Irish this is going to be good as an actor how bad is that he seems pretty relaxed

he seems like he knows his lines I think the writing is the problem I'm the last person to blame the actor I'm always like the writing the directing I don't know but again, his delivery

what's wrong with I don't feel like he's connecting I don't sense for me he has kind of a white privilege maybe potential Trump supporter vibe which is which is my issue

but that's my own personal issue that has nothing to do with the acting right forced comfort yeah we're going to be friends we're going to be buddies we're going to make America great again wow

that's a great assessment see what I see here is they said that the notorious Boston mobster James Whitey Bulger never felt more relaxed than when he just killed somebody and he would just go into such a relaxed state I sense that here

and that he's overly relaxed he's just like another body down you know but his eyes to the gaze it's a little it's intense don't miss it, only CBS he didn't blink that whole time he did not blink that whole time

well here's the thing he's like primarily a country singer right and they've thrown him in front of a camera to say lines poor lines well what can he do here to improve his performance because I'm not sure there's anything he can do

but because it doesn't seem like his enthusiasm is real I think that's what I'm reading it doesn't read as authentic he's not connected to the material yeah well we'd have to massage his belly a little bit really? do you get into that?

really? like a pre-acting kind of you have so much tension in your body and this is like your breathing box so if there's any holding here it's hard to connect kind of what you're not connected

well a lot of it is like connecting down from the pelvic floor and sending that thought all the way out and do you go red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather what's that? you're the actor do you guys warm up before a show?

now we just sit in the dark sit in a dark green room and you just eat a chicken wing and somebody comes in they're like hey can you get the fuck out of here please I'm trying to focus you have like a drink of choice on stage water

I have one comedic friend and I think he drinks alcohol is he a famous person? I don't know he's not shirtless I don't know when you determine someone's famous I mean is this like a working comedian?

yeah yeah yeah does shows all the time? primarily shows? yeah it's Daniel Sloss I'm sure he would know but wait he's British yeah they're drunks that's why

I can't do the drink before a show I can't either I would fall over I think you guys have the hardest job in the world it's so long all your days are super long you have to memorize stuff

I can't memorize does Daniel live in New York or in Scotland? no he lives in Scotland he has Netflix specials he's amazing I think those guys are all born and bred to drink they are

I can't do it you know who I feel like Elizabeth might connect with? yeah I know you're in a relationship you're gonna set me up let's just say whatever

you're single at some point there's always options out there breakups are hard don't get me wrong ladies ladies and gents play boys and play girls breakups are hard but you gotta realize for

a sexy Italian boy like me the most fucking drop dead gorgeous guy in this motherfucking state of Utah fucking get any girl in the state that ass we your body attracted how you feeling?

at first I thought it was like words of encouragement like who is this guy who talking about I'm just really distracted by the eyebrow and how awesome they are just how much time and effort that takes

now allow me after many viewings of this video guys I think what's happening is this is actually a filter slash lighting thing that's making them appear less filled in than they are because if you'll notice in other videos they're normal ish they're not as like yeah

but it looks like he's gone too far yeah he did let's see him like in a different video see how he looks in this one oh just got out baby we all party it's the weekend baby let's get it

so like counting baby it's the stupidest him is this guy an influencer? no he is somebody do people watch this? people found him you see people and you just start observing and you're like oh my god

he's somebody who posts on social media and he was sent our way and we've been more than happy to apply he's just getting out of jail right here and he posts

just got out of jail and I'm taking with him I appreciate his spirit me too sometimes he thinks he thinks about himself and he thinks about others too like right here out of here

I'm about to go give me another sixer it is the weekend cheers everybody he's the stupidest person alive drink responsibly take your uvers take your caps on because it's all about drinking responsibly

you look for most of that video you look like a scientist like seeing an animal do a behavior you haven't seen someone do before what's going on what do you think is going on well drink responsibly

I think the message is pretty clear I appreciate I appreciate that drunk driving is not good I agree he has a different chain on right the other one he had dog tags he had that big watch on

apparently watches say something about you he put it in the frame yeah exactly because I think in man world a watch means something to status wise but I don't know anything about watches

if a guy has a watch that means nothing to me they've also become much more popular you know what I mean watches have always been a thing but I think the watch culture has grown a lot more in the last decade do you have a watch? I have a number of watches

he loves his watches I like watches I like being able to always know the time I don't need to look at my phone that is good can I just tell you I'm having this fantasy that I'm having to sit next to Tony

and listen to him talk all day you guys should interview him he's an expert on body language oh yeah one more thing for all you young bucks going out to the club tonight one last thing what you gotta look out for one of my good buddies you know is telling me about

and I've tried it numerous times and it really works look out for body language by the way you can tell that he just learned that word that day he said look out for body language like it's a new word it's key

and he doesn't really elaborate because you know what the eyes don't lie at the end of the day the eyes do not lie you know if a girl likes you she's gonna look at you dead in the eyes she's gonna be you know her body is gonna be facing towards you see that's how you can tell

I get I keep having like a little bit of compassion for this guy I'm like well hopefully that means like if he hears no he takes it don't ever go to a crazy girls house watch this I mean look at these

bad boys it's on the motherfucking it's the lay she fucking ripped my whole fucking slack off oh shit there you go here's my question

how did the was it a fight or was it a sexual encounter I think it was a sexual encounter it's a fight oh no no no or maybe he got him caught on something and this is just for show it could be but I think he listens to no

I think Tony knows no to interview him I would love it he keep digging yeah he kind of blocked us on instagram no way yeah he's not really responsive to being on the show I'll work on it

oh he's been blocked maybe he can go to tiktok and then I'll get him there or maybe he has a countdown look at those motherfucking pips oh I'm gonna have them girls the whole weekend they're gonna be squirting baby do you still want to meet them

wait can I see that one more time this is a new one I have not seen this I'm gonna be having girls the whole weekend they're gonna be squirting baby are his nipples are gonna be

squirting or the girls are gonna be squirting I thought it was nipples at first what are you going for here it's such a calculated look I still think the eyebrows they're too far apart yeah they are

and there's no chain in this one which is upsetting nice hair it's hot it's hot can you get the other one can you find the other one blueband the one

can you get the other guy he's a very sexual person yeah he is that seems to be his primary goal in life is to get the ladies I get it ladies are great he's focused let's talk about this before we wrap up here

because countdown is a movie that yours truly is in it's nice huh working that nipple baby this is the horror film this is it this is countdown it's called real life scarier than a horror film

I can't even look at that why not just look at it feels good he's so rough with them thanks Tom both the girls on the show can't even look at the video I'm just so confused this is the best

I don't understand well here's the deal I understand that Santa here is confused and he's trying to turn on a male viewer male that's for a woman for sure whatever but the fact that Tony Johns should know better that

showing straight women a nipple isn't really how come he doesn't know that seriously not doing it for me any of us no woman is like ooh a man's nipple who cares it's not a turn on

you're not turned on by this guy at all at all what about when he flicked it and his nipples are black yeah it's not good no it makes me sad we licked it

wow he licks it apparently I'm here with a couple of prudes but we can take it down okay would you rather Elizabeth would you rather sexually be with you have to do a love scene with Tony Johns

or Santa flicking a nipple it would be Tony you're going on a date either Tony Johns or the good morning Julia guy who's the one that got her phone on the phone I'm in love with you I built everything in this house

or it's like ah you're gonna be squaring out weekend baby I would probably still go for Tony wow what does that say about me I don't know I

because he's not saying anything yeah you know what I mean you don't have to take anything in you don't have to listen that's right you buy the food no drinks

he's already drinking I wouldn't drink water with either of these guys don't do it it's bad what about Tony Johns or Gareth Brooks you gotta love you have to spend a weekend with him a weekend

in a hotel room making love you gotta make sweet love I would still pick Tony wow yeah that's really something yeah I mean

he's promising a good time and the other one's kind of like at least he's upfront about it I like that he's transparent that's true you know what you gotta give him credit he's not pretending to be something no he's like I want girls to be squaring out weekend that's great

excellent but I think his I agree with you that I like the transparency of a Tony Johns he's not as creepy as a Gareth however his stupidity would wear me down in like an hour they're repeating he repeats a lot

he would keep telling you things you have to take a long shower by yourself that's what I would do all weekend long I have to I have to wash my hair it's the perfect excuse

just keep telling me you have the farts again I'm farting a lot he'd be like you know that's not sexy I'm just bleeding out of my vagina but Tony would still try to fuck you all try to get in there Tony doesn't mind

well look we gotta tell this countdown is coming out in a couple days Elizabeth's in it I haven't seen the movie yet you've seen the movie I've seen it did you buy chance

did you stay through the credits yes of course I did I saw everything I saw everything and everyone we should tell the viewers are we allowed to this is the perfect time to say it

oh I didn't know I thought we were supposed to we should tell them to stay through the credits because if you stay through the credits you have a little surprise which is that Christina's in the movie too we did a scene together

a boy girl scene and they put it as like a button to the movie it's like it was always meant to be there it's perfect cool I can't wait to see it and you guys have real chemistry it's almost like there's something really going on

between us really now there's Tommy Salami right there there I am with Elizabeth with the real actress the scene is so good I'm so excited to see it

guys if you're listening, if you're watching if you would, opening weekend is this weekend countdown is the movie when you're done with that and you haven't yet watched you go to Netflix, watch the whole series and watch everything Elizabeth's ever been in

and then what's your Instagram it's Eliza Boone why is that I worked on a farm right up right at my senior year of college and it's like an artist residency farm and

because I was in New York and I was from the south Eliza, she's from the south Eliza Boone the Boone Docs dude do you ever think about how jealous so many of your former college

acting classmates are of you how fun they're like people from your small town stuff, those bitches that hated on you in high school sometimes I look to see high school is more important I look to see like any of those

she's actually a big fancy actor now yes and sometimes the ones like the one I wish saw is not following me she's following she goes to your page still she knows

she goes to Eliza Boone well look we're so happy thankful that you came today I'm super excited to see the movie and follow her watch the movie, let us know what you think

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