Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 529-Kate Kennedy-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: December 12, 2019

JEANS UP! We got a special show for you mommies today! First, Tom and Christina give their review of Martin Scorsese's "The Irishman." Was it better than Good Fellas? Then we find a cool girl that finally tells it like it is about how hard it is being a woman. Always itchy! We then uncover a new video from FedSmoker! This time: DIY haircuts! IT IS WILD and we don't recommend trying it at home. Don't do anything he recommends! Also, we got an amazing pitch for McDonalds! You're gonna LOVE the McRib! Then we have special guest, boy-girl actress AND comedian Kate Kennedy! Tom and Christina are fascinated by how one gets started in that industry, and as it turns out, it's a similar path to being a comedian! Kate talks about her path to becoming an actress: from super cool clubs to her first scene! What were the scripts like? What type of genre scenes does she do? We also have her weigh in on Josh Potter's situation! Watching them talk about their shared experiences in the same industry is a REAL treat to listen to! Hope you enjoy listening to the conversation as much as we enjoyed having tit!

And We're back Baba Ghanoush Baba Ghanoush this goes out to all you Baba Ghanoush this public announcement Suwoo call me motherfucker fall bud want no rec. It's verified. Hmm. He responded so thankfully That is settled Speaking of that and Suwoo Unrelated to that man's video. I put out a shirt with a woman on it named Suwoo and it sold like

Crazy hmm. Thanks everybody a few weeks ago. We had that big Thanksgiving weekend sale Black Friday and Cyber Monday So thanks for everybody who ordered that You got the Tata there tick-tock You got a bunch of Mom I'm wearing it today to show it off nice looks really. I'm not a regular mom I'm a cool mom and varsity mom is also in stores. It is a hoodie for the winter times I like to wear it at drop-off for the kids. Well, everybody

Know that we really appreciate you supporting us and the show by getting all the different merch There's the two bear stuff. I also put on the store some of the few things from the taping in Austin, so if you wanted to get there's a there's probably a few left of the Austin tees and then there's also Austin Posters those that's the night that we taped the special Some of the posters from the run most have been designed by Paul Greeny's amazing designer. He did that one as well They're all autographed. Some of them have sold out there. There will be removed from the store soon So every anytime there's like some overstock we ship it back to the store. I'm do that face. That's the deal with the

posters So anyways, I just wanted to say thanks to you guys for supporting us See your eyes. Do you have a walleye one off? Yeah, you got the Marty Feldman. I What's that what is that called being walleye when one goes one guy one eye goes this way when I goes that way When I goes this way when I goes that way Yeah So the dog says what do you want from me? This guy's saying what do you want from me? I just watched Goodfellas again. It's so good. It's so funny that yeah

That that is one of those movies that viewing 100. You're like, yep. I'm in it's still I don't know how it has that effect on My brain. Yeah, well Joe Pesci reminds me of you of me in that character. He's a shine box He's a violent psychopath. Mm-hmm. It's like watching you. It's like a mirror image How about the part where he stabs the guy in the trunk? That's good. I like but I like it Well, why do I like it when Joe Pesci kills people? He's hilarious. He's really good at it. Yeah. Yeah, he's so funny angry Yeah, so funny. I remember he made this horrible movie called nine heads in a duffel bag

Remember that? I think David Spades in it. It came out in the 90s and it's so bad but he's so funny and This is like the height of his fame and you could tell they were like just write a scene where he's angry everyone will love it and you Do like the whole movie. You're like this and every time he's like what you start laughing. That was a good function Yeah, he's so funny when he's angry. He's even good at home alone. He's great in home alone We have been watching that with the kid and with the older kid Yeah, and the other but yeah, he falls down. He hurts himself. Oh, he's great. He's a great act really funny He's a really great actor. So he's in

The Irishman, you know, is that are you are you finished with it? I know it's a three-hour epic It's a six-day kind of affair, but I have 15 minutes left, but he Yeah, I haven't seen Joe Pesci in a long time. How the obviously, you know, Scorsese has a special relationship with him Yeah, I know he looks crazier than cat shit with that work done actually now He's grown past the work. Oh, just looks like a normal old guy. Will you bring up Joe Pesci? I want to see what he looks like now because in the movie. He just looks like a regular old really so he aged into it Yeah, yeah, that's too bad cuz he really screwed his face up. Oh, yeah, he looks good. Yeah. Now. He looks just old Which is fine. Yeah, that's how you should look. Yeah, right

Yeah, he's amazing that guy. He's so good. So that like click that one right there. See that's him in the movie on the right He's 75 oh my life, right? That's what it says there 25 to 75 Oh Yeah, he I'm he really is such a solid actor He's he's great in it De Niro's great in it They had the whole crew just kill it Sebastian's great in it. I have to see it Sebastian has a small part that he nails. He's really good in it. I love really good

Good shine box Tommy Puccino. Yeah, I know that's um Yeah, the Irishman, let's see Oh, he looks like a total Guido Money skull go Yeah, he's really great looking good Sebastian homie nailed it Let's see who else a Harvey Kytel's in it. It's got fucking everybody in it, man And this is made for Netflix. Well, they let them have a small theatrical release So it was in it was in theaters for a couple weeks

I don't know if it's still in a few but it's it's streaming now on Netflix. So pretty cool, bros Yeah, three and a half hours. Jesus Christ, man editing bro. You got to edit like I want to watch the Godfather movies as well Yeah, but I don't have two or three days to waste. That's what you got to have because I like it But I don't want to go it's so slow. I know but what is what is with being able to watch though? Something like the coming to America always comes to mind, too I'll watch it. It's like the element of surprise is gone. I know I still want to Just watch scene after scene, but that's Eddie Murphy I think I think it's the magic of Eddie Murphy as a performer. He is I can watch Eddie Murphy

I saw him with the Jerry Seinfeld the comedians and cars getting coffee. I'm locked on him. Yeah, there's something so talk about Charisma the guy is so engaging and He's so naturally funny the way he delivers lines Remember Beverly Hills comp, you know, you're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe like he just has a way of making lines memorable, too Yeah, yeah, that's true. I was thinking also of Scrooged when that would come on or groundhog day. That's a good one. So that's another like like amazing performer Yeah, strong strong performer. I can't when every time a vacation comes on vacation or Christmas vacation. I'll watch that Yeah, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I'll watch that

Unreal. That's a good one, too. Yeah, well, let's get started with the show. I mean, we're sitting here. We're just talking our pussies off Let's uh, let's start the show Flapping your labia. Yep. Let's get into it. There's nothing Harder to be in a female Our pussies it's twenty four seven. They stink. They have these huge words that grow on them Who is Randy wow, don't bring anyone Oh I

Love a good misdirect. Hmm. So I love that she starts like it's hard being a woman. You're like, yeah, it is Like I wonder what she'll talk about Like, you know, like every guy goes, yeah, I get it's hard beating when she's like our fucking pussies itch, huh? 24-7 like your pussies never not itching. Hmm. Well, that's a problem. It shouldn't be oh, yeah, they have huge warts that grow on I mean, that's another prop. That's problem number three. She's got a lot of problems with her stanky There's nothing harder to be in a female our pussies itch 24-7 they stink. They have these huge warts that grow on them. Nope Daily 24-7 we're scratching we're itching and our pussies fucking stink like they smell like fish

Honestly, it's hard being a female. That's why I'm meaning to learn to respect us because we go through a hell of a lot of stuff He Want to eat my pussy. I say you go catch eight He's like, I don't care. We don't go die anyway This is the same lady It's in the same folder. Oh, wow. Is she a tick-tocker? I feel like I I Forget who sent this in I think someone emailed it to you want to eat my pussy. I say you go catch eight I don't care. We don't go die anyway. It's not a bad rhyme. You want to throw a beat down hold on. Yeah

Yeah, let's throw a beat eight and where You want to eat my pussy I say you gonna catch eight You like it I Loop this so feel free to do. Oh, okay. Oh Great. Oh, I want to eat my pussy. I say you don't catch eight He's like, I don't care. We don't go die anyway It's not bad Now we only even have to put the call out there, but you know that here come the remixes

Remixes are coming the pussy eight song. Yeah It's she's got a good beat. It's not it's a good beat though. Yeah, you want to eat my pussy, but you're gonna catch Yeah, you know what it's like that reminds me of but tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999 you're saying she just needs to meet Yeah, like it's kind of the same theme Prince is like your prince. Yeah Got a new one for you, man. He wouldn't mind us taking his music and remixing it. Absolutely not. He'd be a big big fan Now whatever she says sounds like a lyric I'm like Pussies be itching. Yeah, and our pussy's fucking staying and our pussy's fucking stank

They have these huge words that grow on them makes me wanna They feel like fish. Oh my life Man, her pussy's going through some shit. She needs to go to the doctor That's not right 24-7 warts itching smells. Yeah, it's a lot of pussy It's not a healthy pussy. She's got you do you have to maintain Your pussy a lot though. There's a lot of maintenance that goes into having a healthy vision. Sure Yeah, you do you have to wash it every day and you know Yeah, take care of it and take care of it and maybe she's just not doing that, right? No, or she's letting nasty dudes in there

Yeah When's the last time you had an AIDS test? Never you never had an AIDS test. I'm gonna give a fuck about that shit. Oh my god Okay, you kids don't get AIDS test anymore, right? That was just like a 90s hysteria Yeah How do you have HIV because well, I don't because I took a test everybody has it you knew before then Why would you have HIV? What are you been doing? You sharing needles? No, I mean, you know just after like a questionable

Exchange is just like I should Yeah, it's just like in the panel, you know, it's not like specifically just AIDS. It's AIDS is included in everything else. I always tell them test me for everything but AIDS babe. I Do I say I there's there's no if I have it. I earned it. Let it let it live. Oh my god. I Don't want it yet test don't waste time. Oh my god You know, babe, I'm serious. I remember getting that AIDS test in the 90s Remember the first time you did you really not do it? What getting an AIDS test? Oh my god Like because I was what it was really at the height of hysteria in the the 90s

Yeah, I remember like oh god in college getting an AIDS test and just waiting You used to have to wait like two weeks before they would call your ass up And then they bring you into a room and then they give you the questions How many people have you had sex with I don't know who are your partners? No idea all that stuff Mm-hmm, and then they scare you and then they tell your neck. I remember one time I thought I might have AIDS when it was a while ago But it was just the flu or what no, I just was like it's possible and then I just I didn't do anything cool Most guys I just wished it away. You can't will AIDS away. Yeah, you can if you wish real hard

If you're like, I promise Yeah, men are so dumb But you're the reason that that should spreads because you guys don't get treated much like the pussy scratchy lady Yeah, you give it to people. How about the beatboxer? Do you like having him still? I was hoping we could take it down You should be on the talk I don't know why he doesn't have an account Yeah Do you think he gets laid? Yeah, how many of your friends had STDs in college? Did you ever have an STD? No, I probably should have asked you this like 17 years ago

Probably I just assumed you were clean. I was yeah. Yeah, did you ever get anything? Crabs not even crabs. No, what about you pigs in the booth crabs? I've never had anything any Not yet Josh is Josh in there and that's Chris Josh have you had crabs yet? I feel like you What did you have what you have Clemenia anything never syphilis. No, I've never gotten tested for AIDS either. Yeah, you throw that thing around though Why do I look like fucking Tom Hanks in Philadelphia?

I'm fucking tan Plump, you know when I start getting real thin and sneezy Then you can test me. You've never had a test for it. Have you been tested for other things? Oh, yeah No, but you're I actually asked about AIDS and they were like you don't have that Did you ever did you ever have a real questionable one though where you're like, you know, I mean the girl you're like This is probably something I'm probably like the girl or my afterwards Well, I guess both but like as she walks out and then you're like, fuck that was risky. She's yeah. Yeah Yeah, I've had those where you got she wasn't quite like the lady in the video

But a little bit questionable downstairs, and I'm like is that a sign of an STD? Yeah little Yeah, the sniffs like yeah, you shouldn't be stinky. That's probably an infection. It shouldn't really be itchy That's just probably in fact in the words, you know, I'm like a pussy looks sick Yeah, you know, it's like a dog when it's a little like out from the cold. It's nose gets a little wet. Yep Like that. I remember Sick, what do you one of my friends in college like that's not he said that this girl Yeah, it's like a runny nose exactly. This girl this girl in college My roommate hooked up. He's like our pussy. Yeah, you can smell it from like a distance

So then I got in there. I was like no you can't You ever hook up with a girl after a wedding yeah when they're all dancing around That's a rough sort of kind of a hazard zone. That is yeah what because she's sweaty from dancing right and her Vag smell what you think your crotch smells like a treat after you've been dancing no I'm just saying yeah, it doesn't deter me from anything. Well, I'm saying your pussy probably stinks too. Yeah. Hell yeah Yeah, your pussy probably does stink Josh do you have dates on sale? Do I have dates on sale? Oh, yes January 2nd through 4th laugh Boston on sale right now go see Josh in Boston

Dinky dick. Yes, please. Have you ever smell stinky there? Do you smell your balls a lot? Are you stinking? I take a whiff Yeah, thanks to Manscaped. I don't have stinky ones anymore. What do you mean? You always do you always take a whiff? If I scratch I scratch with the backside of my thumb like in that crease, you know like like your crotch crease and then I'll go How do I not know this about you fucking well just to see what I got and then sometimes you're like I need to take a shower right now, and then sometimes you're like my balls smell pretty good. I Mean no scent is a win right if you're like my balls will have any scent right now. It's pretty good Let's see what oh god. Did you shower today? Nope. Oh my god. What the fuck man? Not that strong Not that strong. Oh

You are so nasty, why don't you take a shower this morning? I don't know what it's not hard. It takes two seconds. I don't have AIDS I don't need to take a shower Guess who's back. Oh, no ready. Yeah This is Herkster's hair beauty Sean Barbershop and tattoo a masseuse screw tattoo parlors Ah

Shit so Fed smokers back. I don't even know what the fuck was said right there No, this one's a really hard to follow really okay, but the visual cue is the ladies put a little pink on a dink Oh Think As long as I wear a rink and I definitely don't think I just have a little drink I Used to do that with my Barbies

Yeah, that way it's fast it Fire moves fast though. Yeah, go quick. Holy. Let me say it again There's more Would you take when you're feathering it brother? Gonna get it going by all you can hear it Man this guy Wow, I mean if you don't know this is the same man who took a tooth out with a knife Right in the middle. He's like too thick no longer come see me. I'll help you

Can we show this one to drew let's put this on the next architecture. Yeah. Yeah, we'll make sure you see shit Wow, so he's lighting his hair on touch my camera through That's that's the guy right there tata they're returned Wait, can I I have to see it again babe, I'm not understanding when I let me move it down the line first and then That's that's real motherfuckers to light your stuff on fire. Let your brain on fire Now you know Americans, I'm a demolition man, huh? I am trained In the highest of calibers of fire bombs and explosives, okay, no one is better than me Okay, I promise you

Oh, oh there it is We're getting it When you're feathering this shit don't be scared burden the fucking head skin just a little bit so you know It's your hot fire The only thing that's upsetting me is I wish you would have turned on the interior light sooner because I wanted to see it from The beginning I'd like to see when the hair is longer and now it's all gone. Oh here. Let's see what the last one is here I'd like to see it that shit's gonna kind of hurt a little bit when you get the hell. Okay. Oh, there's no fucking doubt about that No, see y'all could be cutting your own hair at home saving a lot of fucking money right now

But you're all fucking bored with life so bad That you want to go have some pussy as motherfucker cut your hair for you, huh? You know who he reminds me of who who does this remind you of someone gg Allen. Oh, yeah, that same level of insanity our hero I Mean he is on another planet this guy is on on Neptune man. What's going on? Hi, yeah, yeah He is wild

Not a lot shocks me on the show, but that was pretty amazing He's right though. You do save money if you do it that way you just light your hair on fire Oh Save money right there Hey, look at the way on the roof. Look at the ceiling picture. That's a creative idea. Yeah, his dog looks nice, too That's a really nice positive spin on this Oh god, I think I got it Fuck

Bad tooth folks Look at that fucking thing That's the way you do it at Falcon car wash Falcon car wash. That's where he's at right now Look how dirty his nails are. Yeah, we've been taking teeth out all day. What do you expect? I always think of him picking his nose with those dirty fingernails. Yeah, ooh Do you think he sniffs his nuts with those dirty hands? Probably. What do you think his nuts smell like? That was something I really I wasn't even ready for that. What's around his neck too. What is that? Just a it's a brain monitor

It's like duct tape Circle I don't know what he's doing there. He said his hair on fire. Yeah It's a thrill and it's also It's a good way to save money again This is her tears Here a beauty song Barbershop and tattoo a masseuse screw tattoo parlors

I think he's naming the business right then. Yeah, he's saying that's his company. This is yard Tattoo Tattoo parlor Yeah, come on. Tattoo. They're retarded. The ladies put a little pink on a dink. Put a little pink on a dink Oh, I got some ink It's a pink dink and I can feel what it's like to sink Yeah, as long as I wear a mink and it definitely up rinks, I just have a little drink

I like what he does that. Yeah You know, I always forget too with these videos that he's also recording. Yeah I mean, I'm like like I forget that he's doing this and this you're forgetting that he's a multi Multi-talented is what you're saying. He's also a cameraman and a performer. Most people that are like I must set my hair on fire and record it. They would place it down. Yeah, you're fully foggy. He's like, no I keep this move into it's really that's a lot. You're right. It really is Whoo. Wow I was not ready for that

Our parent we're working on it This will make you laugh. I know you like. Yeah. Yeah, okay. You'll laugh at this. Okay ready? Mm-hmm I Yeah This was on the talk this is on the talk. Yeah, I've seen this one. Yeah. Yeah So if you're listening what happened was a customer came up put the beers on the counter He said the total she put it on the counter and then shoved it aggressively So it's like change spilled over on the his side and he said oops

She said oops as she did that so then he shoved her beers off the counter. I said oops Yeah, when I thought about this a lot when I saw it originally. Yeah, I'm like I was on her side at first See here's a deal man, I think it's a setup. Yeah Because he how come he knew to roll on her right because unless now here's the deal man There's also a tick-tock account of a guy who runs a liquor store a few of them And he often will have the camera rolling because he probably deals with her a lot. So maybe that's how it's real No, they're regulars. Yeah, who's an asshole and who's not I follow an Instagram account like that, too Oh, yeah crazy

That's a person fucking amazing. Yeah. Yeah, cuz this guy's like, you know, my job is fucking insane. Yeah That felt like a bit but it's still funny. It's really funny. Yeah, well or sad and aggressive because she could have been really hurt Yeah, potato potato Funny or sad. What is your favorite all-time fast food treat? Oh fuck. All right. If I'm gonna be be honest Okay, all right. All right. There's two two areas Carl's Jr. Western bacon cheeseburger with extra barbecue sauce and extra onion rings Well, I'm gonna go classic McDonald's and cheeseburger fries hot hot hot Coke. How about there? Nuggets McRib. Oh, oh fucking it's a seasonal item and I wish it was around all year You brought it up to them. I did I asked the representative when I worked with McDonald's and she said it's the it's a pork supply issue

They don't have enough pork a pork supply issue. Yeah, this is a I Love McRibs. Yeah. God damn. I love them sauce. It's all about the sauce So messy I love that it's messy Good and the pickles are everything in the onion. Uh-oh. Oh, yeah, it's always how it is you get some on your hand Who doesn't love it, but it's too much sauce though that McDonald's would not approve of that amount of sauce on there Oh Can we show

No, we can't but you guys could describe I don't think What happened You know what my favorite part was on on the second clip you didn't see how the clip ended I don't need to see you didn't you didn't so he's like I got clean my hand and look at the bottom of the screen You missed this When His dong. Yeah, you didn't say anything. I didn't I didn't think it was a peanut. That's what I'm saying It's exactly what I'm saying and then in this next clip

Babe, babe, he puts his penis in the McRib sandwich because it's so good. Is that what he's saying? Of course, that's what he's saying. This is our new pitch to McDonald's Get us back in the fold Let us Let us Take this in another direction. Here's what I'm proposing You give us some of the money back we

Get the like the most popular items cheeseburger big mac chicken sandwich McRib and we get a Social media campaign going of people fucking those sandwiches Yeah, well now the extra sauce makes sense. Oh my god, I was wondering so how good do you think that feels? Really good. We only if the sandwich is still warm. That's true It's got to be at the right temp But a warm sandwich like that and you can fuck the shit out of a McRib. Yeah. Yeah McRib fuck the shit out of this sandwich. Yeah

Good, I like oh, what about the big Mac because that's got a lot of sauce too hard. Yeah Yeah The big Macs big enough that you could probably fit your balls and your dick inside of it. Yeah What about the Sundays Oh a Sunday Are definitely a hot apple pie hmm, that's probably the best those get a little too hot you might end up With a problem if you you put your your dick into like a real fresh Hot apple pie It's gonna hurt

Donald's so good. You want to fuck the shit out of it. That's it. Yeah We're fucking it McDonald's you're gonna fuck this food Yeah So good Which I'm McDonald's entree will you be fucking? hmm, I Don't know. I really feel like this McRib is a brilliant idea, but you know if I'm gonna start slow I guess I would just put it into like a medium fries

You know worried that the salt we get inside of your hole. Yeah, well, but that's part of the excitement It's like setting your hair on fire See if you're gonna do this to a McRib you should ask for extra sauce because they normally don't come with this much Q sauce on there. That's true. I'm a smelly. Yeah, I Bet a quarter pounder would be good too Yeah, that's pretty good Well, thanks for sharing that was really nice. Absolutely. Absolutely. Can we talk about your? Completely abnormal reaction to driving 60 miles. I don't like going fast. What is going on though?

I don't like going fast. I'm in the car and I'm not raking Bobby Go. Hey, yeah, I'm gonna punch it. I'm gonna punch it in this car But like I'm giving you a heads up not a surprise on ventura boulevard. It's not safe I go just see and she's like, yeah, okay, cool. Like I'm just giving you like fair warning and also I'm just gonna go zero to 60 so You know dude Straighten up. Okay. You ready? Yeah, I hit 40. I don't like it soda. You're scaring me I'm like Jesus Christ. We're going 40 miles an hour. Yeah, but

It was too fast the pickup was too good in that car and I felt it in my uterus Like, you know when you go so fast that you feel it in your do you ever feel it in your nuts when you go on a roller coaster? Do you guys know what I'm talking about when you feel it in your internal organs? Yes Yeah, I felt it in my uterus like the tingling and I got scared for my children I literally saw my baby's faces in my flashing in my brain. I I got scared and what if we both died that day? How would we die? You could hit a homeless person. There's a lot of homeless A wide open street in the middle of the street. You can see Yeah, it was totally fine

That that is ridiculous. I just don't like going fast That's what you get for reacting like that I Think I think it was a little much I there's things I don't like I've never liked going fast and so you don't you know that by now after I'm gonna punch it right here and you're like, yeah, okay, cool that you're not gonna scream in I got scared What do you want me to do deny my my real reaction to things so that you feel better about how you're driving? Thank you. It's really nice Alan did a really nice job and it's very soft Would you like to touch how soft it is despite I've been bleaching it since I was 13

It's soft like a rabbit Jerk all right ready to have a competition what speaking of food. All right. Hey, man So I got a spoke to San, which is so we could have a competition you want to see who can finish first I'm gonna go the guy on the left in the Yeah, and the yeah the neon so there's two guys. They're starting to eat food One guy has on a neon yellow. I guess Valley shirt Valley shirt the other guy. What color shirt is that purple purple? One guy has a beard. All right, and they're both gonna always the bearded guy can eat more always the bearded Are they gonna vomit? Is that what you're doing? No? Oh?

Oh Is this us in ten years, babe ten years It's last Thursday. I wish you could do this with me Let's do this together. I Would love to do this with you. Is this this is what we look like. I Don't think we look this good Think we do either What are these two weirdos doing fuck is this this is in the doves collection?

What the fuck is happening with these two? He said he was a sexual are they gonna fuck or not? This is on YouTube. So yes, I wouldn't sent this in at first. I thought it was like oh This is like a bad fake prep like sketch or whatever. Yeah, and then they started rubbing their stomachs together And then I thought you know what maybe this is for the show I'm more worried about the fan. Look how loosely that's just duct tape there. That looks terribly You don't need like a top tier. What we what leads you to make this thing like what's what's going on in their lives Where they agree to do this? It probably starts with first like hey

Do you want to make a video and then they get the camera out and then they forget that they need to figure out what they're gonna record? Hmm, and then I think it just quickly They gotta be into each other's guts before you make this yeah, but I'm confused because is this sexual Are they gonna f or this is just I don't think they're gonna. I don't understand They're not gonna f for the video, but this is definitely Kink in nature right this is a fetish. Yeah, this is some of that I feel like this is in the same way and as a king-ass ripper, you know, there's a little gluttony Eater type stuff right we want you to get big. I

Wish I'm I wish I could just get fat. Don't you just wish you didn't have to I don't wish I'm there put the brakes I would weigh 400 pounds so easily. I would if I could eat all day. I would just eat all day. I like it Yeah, I hate trying. I know it's the worst fucking hate trying. I know I Just want to eat everything. I want to I'm going from here to a workout. What's the fucking point? I know what is the point? I know I'm on the making these videos with these guys. I Really should I should just go like where are you guys? Do you want a third guy there? You need another beard and then they're like, okay, and then I'm like I got the food I got the guy What would you eat every day? I have underwear if you could eat one thing every day. What would it be?

Like what what what's your day like if you're just off the rails be honest? It's a combination. It's it's a combination Like I'll I'll eat fat But not sweets. Okay. I'll want to So that's what I would if you were just like fuck it. You're gonna die in a month. I would just be like just bring it all then Well, give me okay. Here's my day with like a breakfast burrito. Oh, that's a lot. That's already your whole day's calories Yeah, just buried as that would be my warm-up everything and then I would jump into sweets I would just be like get bring some french toast some waffles. Yeah

The sweets are what I usually just go no to my pregnancy diet with our first kid. Yeah I would do eggs Benedict for breakfast. That's already the points like on Weight Watchers. That's like 21 points That's your whole fucking day basically and then I would do this I would get a chocolate croissant for breakfast too. So that's my breakfast eggs Benedict chocolate croissant Yeah, lunch is gonna be a full deep-dish pizza. Yeah, it's like pepperoni and everything I want that sounds great And then I like the thin crust more than a deep I do I only get the thin crust because it's less calories, but I like a deep I want cheeseburgers every day cheeseburger and then that's dinner. I'll do a cheeseburger and what's really like so

What's for dessert and then we would start Waffles, I mean brownies donuts ice cream You know, we should do which we don't let's let's just do one day of eating all that Just do one day just eat till we get sick. Yeah, like I haven't eaten like an asshole since I was pregnant with Ellis Like I want to do a day where we wake up. I eat everything I want everything and there's no hold bar I'm down for doughnuts doughnuts are good. I'm down doughnuts are good. Really surely yourself

But are you not curious that has to have this instead of fucking thing God sitting here holding on to the last clip. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean you said you thought you want to see Let's see Fuck This is not even sexual That's cute. That's cute when he pokes the other guy. I love dr. Pepper too. I would do that You know what the saddest part is what the guy on the left kind of looks like if I got my shit together He's also much younger of babies in his 20s you can't compare yourself to somebody in their 20s. It's not fair

He's like, come on Tom. This could be you. No, that's not you look much better today You look a lot better than him. You look like so much better than both those guys. No way. No way, babe All right Jean. Yeah, we had such a delightful time with our guest today Kate Kennedy. She was amazing. She's an adult performer also a comic So she is she's doing there are two favorite things Porn and comedy. That's right. No, but she was it was actually she she kind of a really impressed us Well, she's a big word. She said arcane I don't think any any guest has been that smart to use that word on our show never had somebody use that word

I barely know what it means. I mean, but she also had just really in Impressive insight into a lot of stuff. She answered everything very honestly. Yeah, it was a great conversation. So we enjoyed Kate Thanks for coming And make sure we run through these dates real quick or yeah Jean wait who won the contest? No, that's just how it ends. Sorry. Well, do you do you declare a winner? I do not declare a winner. I think the guy on the left Yeah, they both they're both fat What was that?

It's a motherfucking mastermind. Don't forget to do my sound drops in between mine. Okay. Yeah, so let's see This is a the following week, right? Yeah, so I'm in Hawaii I My family I'll be in Hana Ruru December 28th, and I'll be in December 29th And then in the new year, I'm in Australia and New Zealand that's that rounds up the take it down tour

So January 25th in Auckland, New Zealand is the last take it official take it down to our show then I start Right away in February working on the new stuff. I have a Spanish set In multiple venues and I have sets working out the new English stuff They're all at tomscure.com slash tour. So please go to my site and get tickets to these new shows gene gene December 19th in sperm bank the my last night of residency at Flapeyre's in the you-hoo room And then we roll into 20 20 20 20 20 with all the gentlemen. Yeah, January 9 to 11

Mom's in Texas cab city comedy club January 30th through February 1st, Houston, Texas at the Houston improv Oh Was that the spinning guy February 14 through 15th, that's Valentine's weekend come spend it with me and tamp on Florida at the Tampa improv March 7th Pasadena at the ice house. That's the make good from October 25th March 13 through 14th Dural, Florida at the Miami improv. What's Miami? Cry, Amy March 26 through 28, Fallis, Texas at the Addison improv

April 3rd through 4th, Jew dork titties at Caroline's comedy club April 24th through 25th, Demois, Iowa at Le Fonnybone, and you're a fucking fat ass whore And then June 12th through 13th, Fartnick's, Arizona at stand-up live tickets are at Christina P. Online. Oh Also, the part slowed down Also, check out where my mom's at if you're interested in the mom world or you have a mom who likes to keep it shit Real if you 100 listen to that drill listen to two bears one cave bears one cave is on this channel your mom's house podcast YouTube channel Also, you can download it everywhere podcasts are available on my Personal Tom Segura page. I have now started Tom Segura in Espanol, which is a Spanish podcast

I've also been uploading some original content. We've been made a music video. We made a sketch. We have some behind-the-scenes stuff there Don't forget to also catch the honeydew with Ryan sickler and and dr. Drew after dark with dr. Drew Pinsky Those are all those both are on your mom's house podcast YouTube page Thanks gentlemen for all your work guys in the booth killing it for us and That's that enjoy the show. Thanks guys And Joining us now is an adult entertainer and comedian Kate Kennedy. Thank you very much for being here We have so many things to talk about

So curious about everything we're big big fans of what you do and how you do it and It's in the drawer I don't know if it's on I don't know anything is it connected. I don't know anything is it Okay Did it register? We got a

I'm sorry to interrupt. That was very cool chicken every time. What did I say after I have Zanku Kate? Sorry about that Back to what is important Don't be a hater. He's just a fart mic hater. I am a fart mic. Yeah. I want to talk about you. So You're You're not from here, but you're living here now. You're performing in the adult industry You're also doing stand-up how we want to go back to the origins, right? like for somebody that does what you do now and you're on camera doing

sexually exciting things Do you come from a background of like were you a sexually very active experiment? You know, I mean like were you were you having a lot of sex before you got in the adult industry? Yeah, so I have kind of a weird background on that because I grew up catholic. So I grew up like super. Oh, hello Another one. I knew I smelled it on you. Yeah, like it never goes away all the guilt and just I feel guilty if it's like a nice day outside like my back is just like a little hunched over all the time Sure, um, but I grew up like that and then I got really into when I was in college I got really into the bdsm scene. You did. How did you get into that? I feel like that's so advanced to be that young

Yeah, I like borrowed my roommate's shoes Like her like heels Yeah, and I drove because I I'd like just gone through a bad breakup and I like was really interested and I want to explore So I like drove down to Denver. I like went to this there was a club It was like in a warehouse in like a scary part of Denver. I was like, I'm not gonna die. I'm not gonna not gonna be murdered Yeah, um, I went in and I started I just started going in this like social bdsm club all the time and then I started working there What goes on and it's like so so people know what happens in a social bdsm club. So it's like Yeah, it's kind of like any other club. So there's people some people just hang out

There's like food and drinks and stuff Okay, and then there's like a big dungeon and so people will pair off and go play and you can see people getting tied up And flogged and all this log and whips and wait, hold on. So what's your intro to bdsm? Is there a guy you're dating? No, I just googled it. I was like very interested in it It was like the porn that I watched and I was like I I had just gone through this breakup So I was like, I'm just gonna go try because I want to see and right away you feel obviously comfortable You end up working there. Yeah, I like met a bunch of people. I made a ton of friends I ended up moving down to Denver after I graduated college and just I was working there at night

I started um like touring around the country and helping teach classes and throw big events and conventions Well at this time though, I'm just jumping around here, but you're probably 21 20, 22. Yeah Are you um something like that, you know for a lot of people it would be like their secret Is it a secret like do people who know you know what you're doing? Yeah, like at that point everybody knew because I was that was like my whole friend group too Okay, so it was very much like that was like my social circle and kind of like the people that I knew and we would um Because it's kind of each city has their own little like scene So we you know, we'd go to like Salt Lake City or Vegas or portland and you're teaching

You're teaching like how to be a dom or something. Um, I was kind of teaching I taught a lot of like uh poly like polyamory like ethical non-monogamy Uh, you're actually oh wow. Yeah. Okay. So this is like I am poly and I'm by so Um, so you're actually giving people like educational information on this how to do it What what's like a the a basic tenant of uh, you know Come communicative uh polyamory. What do you what's like the foundation of it? Uh, my favorite thing is always say like honesty Honesty is always the biggest thing and then communication happens not on your level but on the level of who you're communicating with

Interesting. So when you say something especially in a relationship to like your partner You can't say it the way that it makes sense to you. You have to figure out what's how it's going to make sense to them That is wisdom for life. That applies to everything. Yeah, that's really good piece of wisdom. Yeah, that's really good Okay, so you're you're teaching that you're having fun in the scene How do you like is there a moment where you're like, I'm gonna I'm gonna try porn like I'm gonna actually Pull the trigger or does somebody like suggest it to you? How does that actually start? I started off behind the scenes in porn actually So I was up in portland for convention

I was doing like some shows up there and I was with a friend who was shooting for this bdsm porn company That was based there and she's like hey come with me. It'll be really fun weekend Like we'll just have a good time And I ended up meeting them and then a couple months later they emailed me and they were like, hey We really need a new marketing manager Um and my background's in advertising and social media and they're like, do you want a job in this industry? And I was like, okay, that sounds way better than what I'm doing. Oh, so you're excited for this offer Yeah, so I went up and I like worked on a set for a weekend

And I did an interview and they're like you want to move to portland and work in our office and help us do these Crazy bondage movies and I was like, yes. Now at this time when that happens Do you have any is it like a a secret that you want to be on camera? Or you're like, no, I just I just want to be on this other side of it I wasn't even sure I wanted to be on camera yet I really I knew that like I this was my world and I loved it and I wanted to like I wanted to get paid for it was the biggest thing because like nothing that I was doing like working at the dungeon or traveling None of that was making money. Yeah, and it turned into something that I was doing 20 30 hours a week

And I was like, I have to make money doing this Um, so like it turned this thing of like, you know, this is going to be a really fun way to work where it's not a set schedule And you know, I get to do some stuff from home and I can travel and and you know I mean I was walking around the woods and like cargo pants and dog martins like building crazy bondage equipment And like walking hot girls. It was the best job ever Um, so yeah, I started doing that and then I worked there for like six months and started shooting some stuff for them Um, because I was like, oh my resume has already kind of blown so I might as well go do this Uh, and then I started doing mainstream porn after that. Um, I came down to LA and I shot for like a week

Behind the scenes still no, I came down to LA to like work for bigger companies like mainstream But like on camera. Okay. So what's the first time on camera? It's up in portland doing it was up in portland BDSM The other thing. Yeah. Yeah, and what's your first like mainstream thing that you do? Like the first like the stream porn movie. I was like, yeah, yeah, like is it is it You know, are you full of anxiety? Is it overwhelmed? Like, you know, I mean to make the leap is it feels like it would be like a big I was really excited like my very first day because I was like, oh, it's porno day. It's porno day. You were pumped Yeah, it was pumped. I know I wasn't like nervous about it because I'd been I'd also been around it for like a year So I was I knew the people that were there like I think I already knew the like the first guy that I worked with

We were already friends. You were yeah, so but getting naked and do what was your first scene? My first scene was up in portland and it was for uh in sex and it was for hardtide So it's a rope bondage site. So I got tied up and beaten. I didn't actually they don't actually do a lot of sex It's mostly just like bondage. Is it a thrill to do it when it's for camp? It is still a thrill Yeah, and then when you come down and you do your first mainstream, is it like a straight up just Uh, you know sex scene. Yeah, it was yeah way it was way less work. It was a lot easier. Oh, really? Easier than being oh BDSM is way way harder. Why is that? It's just it's a longer day. It's more brutal I mean, I did like a seven minute scene where I was like hanging upside down by my ankles like that

Yeah, so the blood is in your head and and being beaten all day too. I imagine and how do you handle that? I mean, I I assume you like it. Yeah, I like it. It's fun I mean you can communicate like you communicate through the entire scene like I did a scene one time where I actually got waterboarded Hmm That's intense it was super intense and it looks when you see the scene it looks insane, but like when we actually did it Yeah, I know what I'm saying. It sounds insane What there's no way to come back from that But uh, they would you know, we'd like pour the water and then we would cut and I would breathe and then we'd cut and breathe

So it's it's pieced together. There's some movie magic there. Yeah. Yeah. Wow So coming from being waterboarded and tied I get right. Yeah boy girl penetration is it's like, oh just arch your back So wait, was it a thrill to shoot your first mainstream? Was that something you're like this is gonna be awesome It was exciting because it was a company I like wanted to work for And it was yeah, it was a good scene. I was happy with it. So yeah Why is it what was it? What makes it a good scene like what's your If you have good chemistry with the person that you work with

If it's a nice day on set like really like the chemistry of like everyone that's working on it Like the director and the people people are cool people good day, you know when you feel like you can communicate Do you have any say in who the gentleman is that you're going to be working with? Yeah, yeah, so I have a no list of people that I don't work with This is an industry standard, right? This is yeah, this is very now. Do you do you have a no list on day one? Uh, no, I mean because you don't know everybody yet, but so Do people on your no list is because you worked with them or just you've heard about them? Like does it or is it both?

It's both. Yeah, so some people I'm like I worked with them and and not like honestly There's people in my no list and it's not that I don't like like them as a person or anything But we don't have any chemistry and I'm like anything wish you to give me shit Like I don't want to put out a bad scene. That's really interesting. You're really concerned about the product So you're like, you know, we worked together and just was it was all like going through the motions Or like you're just you don't do it for me. Like yeah, aesthetically. Yeah Yeah, I always wonder that now the guys probably in in your industry Never get to be like I don't really feel a chemistry

But right like the guys are like look man, you should I can show up I mean they do a little bit like it's it's kind of like anything like It's kind of like being like a comic to like the more you advance into it The less likely you are to do like, you know a really like Like beginner kind of level show like the more say you have and like who you want to be on stage or on your show with you Um, so like Rocco would say Yeah, no like they would like the bigger guys really have a lot more say like somebody like Kieran Lee or like Manuel Farah Is really like like they cast their own girls. They're like, oh, I want to work with you

Um So yeah, so the more yeah, the more you work and the more known you are the more say you kind of have in it Got you. Um, but yeah, and then there's all there's also people that are on my NOLA store I'm like I see you on the internet like it's I see you on twitter like popping off or being crazy or doing I don't want to work with you. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no like yeah Now what happens? All right. Take us through You're showing up to shoot a scene with uh, somebody who is you're you're cool to shoot with and like let's say but let's say It's a first time. Yeah, do you walk through?

Like what's a what's the conversation like before you shoot like with the other talent with the other talent on a first time You're working with them. Um, usually I mean it's a pretty small world So it's pretty rare that I like get to set to work with somebody that I've never met before Really? Yeah, most of the time and like I work with a lot of the same people too. So there's people that I've shot like four or five scenes with Um, but if it's a new like I just had that happening of the day like, you know, I try to like open me nice I'm like, hi, okay, you know, what's up? Like and I'll be like, do you is there anything that you really like that like really knocks your hair back like

Oh, really? And they'll go ahead and they'll tell me and I'll tell them and I'll be like, hey, you know Please don't do this or be cognizant of like my hips or whatever Oh, you say that safety stuff. Please don't do what like don't like just add a nowhere to my finger in my ass Yeah, don't bite me. Please don't bite me. I agree. Yeah Don't what's your other don't uh, yeah, don't don't stick your fingers in me Just in general don't stick your fingers in me like they're in your bed. Yeah Yeah, I'm like unless I see you like scrub them like with purel immediately before right, please don't do that. Yeah

Um, and then yeah, like or you know, you like I'll say like you can pull my hair because I don't have extensions That's a really big one. Oh, right. A lot of girls probably have had extensions and they you know, they'll get really upset So I'm like you can pull on it. That's fine. Like it's you know, and then some of the guys like hey easy on the balls Like just exactly um, and what about Shit, I just had it and I lost it. Uh, what about your period? What do you do when you're on your period? I was wondering that so I have an IED so I actually haven't had my period in like three years great Science is awesome

So then there's no days but it let's say before other girls. What would they do? So they actually take a makeup sponge And uh, they put it up in their vagina and it just absorbs everything. Yeah Like a little white like the disposable kind that you get a walker. Yeah, really the beauty blender. Yep Can I get stuck in there? So you have to take it out after it's done Um, so I actually just helped a girl take hers out the other day after he's just like I don't know. She's like it's stuck It's like really in there. I was like, okay, like I'll help you like Lay on your back and like I was like, I'll get it. Like I promise I won't scratch you. Yeah. Yeah. And what about butt stuff?

Are you? Yeah, that's oh, sorry. Sorry. All right. So I'm so excited that I want to hear all this this square won't even Go down there and eat my scrump. Will you tell her? Do you like butthole man's butts? Yes Yeah, she gets paid too. It's different. I do it first. I do it for free too. I gotta tell you I do it with the guy I'm dating I'm supposed to say no, but women don't do it. I mean, you know what? It works best if you do it in the shower There you go. Like do it in the shower like after everything's just been clean when you've watched them clean it Okay. Yeah, but you deal with probably hairless uh, dolphin like

sorry, you know Faye you'd be surprised feminine men not a man show hairy Bears like my husband that are sweaty and have multiple dutes in one day I just had a really bad one out there. Yeah, and that's why that's all I hear is him taking dumps and stuff So I'm afraid coming from the woman who just farted twice into a microphone. My my butthole's still way cleaner than yours Uh-huh. It's pretty hairless. I mean, maybe give it a little trim, you know, aren't you? But what does it taste like man butt? Aren't you afraid they taste duty? Sweat tastes bad. No, what does it taste like be honest? It's like licking a coin

It kind of tastes like balls Same like ballsack kind of tastes it's a little sweat, but like again, like I highly recommend doing this like right after you've showered Yeah, that's the best time to do it. It's scrubbed. You know, I don't do it like casually like not just like, you know Just like after dinner. Yeah, not just like after dinner. Yeah, do you ever have the thing? I'm thinking about like, you know Things people like where some like you go like, you know, don't fucking do this and then the person doesn't do you like Will you stop? Oh, yeah stop? Hey, we just covered this I was just doing a scene Last week where this guy had my leg up and he had it like he had it up and was like pivoting it

Oh, and I was like my hips don't fucking bend like that like I'm not barbie And so I just he wouldn't like I kind of like pushed out him and he wouldn't stop And you don't want to like yell cut if you don't have to especially because there's other people in the scene And so like I just started kicking him because I was like, I don't know what to do So I just started kicking this and finally he like got the message and like dropped my leg Um, but yeah, sometimes you just have to kick people How long do these scenes laugh? How long is a guy? Just nailing you because I imagine like right like they have to get this cut

Okay, let's get this angle and you're like, dude, my vag is gonna You know, you only take so much. Oh, yeah There's sometimes where you're just like, okay Like I usually they're not terribly long like the sex is the fastest thing to show for sure the dialogue takes way longer Really? Oh my god the like the dialogue is just because most people a lot of people in porn are not actors They didn't come to LA to be actors. They're not interested in it But you do have to be able to do some basic dialogue. Right because for the setup, right? Yeah The setup. Hey mom left. We're here alone. I know you're my sif sister

Hey, because we're not really related. You gotta hit that tag line. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and so sometimes you're working off of somebody That's just they don't they can't and they can't do the same lines for continuity So you just you have to keep oh, it's like so and they'll be like, what's my line? I'm like, it's this like I read the script So they don't show up not even ready to shoot anything. Oh, yeah, totally Um, and so that can be or they'll try to like take it in a weird direction Like if it's ad-lib because a lot of it's like ad-libbed improv dialogue um Yeah, so that's like way more fresh. Usually the sex is between like

20 to 40 minutes. Oh, that's a long time ticket. I just did an orgy an orgy is 60 minutes of sex through That's really are you rotating? Yeah, partners or whatever. I think so my goal in an orgy is to be so the way an orgy shot There's always one less guy than there is girls So there's like four guys and five girls Which means one girl is not getting nailed one girl is sitting in the corner masturbating quietly and I'm that girl I just oh, I like move to like not be around him. He's like, you know the stick. I'm like, you do it Alexis like you go like I'll just stay here and masturbate just because like you don't have to get

So The director actually because I kind of had joked it was like the we filmed it and it was the day after One of our big like nomination parties for our award season Because our award season is just starting and uh, so I was hungover too. I'm like, I'm fucking tired. Everyone moves out So, you know one two in morning and I was like, I'm gonna phone it in so fucking hard on this I'm like call me Jerry Lewis. He was the only one that laughed because he was older. Everyone else was 19 And uh, then I did and he like we agree on break and he's like, how are you doing that? Every time I turn over you're like in the most comfortable position. Just like not doing that. I was like, I know

Trying to get away with this. I'm like, I'm really good at this job. I told you Because I see important as a woman I can always tell When there's a turning point for the actress because I'm like, dude her vag is dry af I can see that it's just dry fucking her Like do you have to constantly I'm not constantly like I'm sure in the beginning I mean, I don't know how much lube are you using? Um, it kind of depends on the scene It depends on like how into the person you are to really affects it. Obviously, right? Yeah super affects it Yeah, like I hit like with certain male performers. I'm just like, oh, yeah all day like no lube. This is great. This is so fun

Yeah, yeah, and then other ones. I'm just like, is there like anyone have coconut oil like Yeah, you can see you can read the faces too. You know like you see on the that the look She's like, oh, and then I get really excited. I'm like, oh, she's not into this Oh boy, I'm gonna finish right now. Stop it. Looks like she's suffering So she's got a real phobia for butt stuff. Now Dr. Drew who does a podcast here. Dr. Drew after dark great guy He once told us That he does not recommend putting anything

Larger than what you can fit in the okay symbol In your butt He goes it should not be bigger than that because it's from a doctor and I go I've seen things way bigger than that What is your Response to like, you know to that and to people in general being like who's not in the butt I mean everyone's different. I actually just was talking about this with somebody the other day Where they're like, I think if you have like a Like a stretch of your vagina where like you can like take more in your vagina your butthole is not as elastic and vice versa

Yeah, like I think you get one or the other maybe. Um, my butthole is very elastic like it just is It's very stretchy and it's awesome. But like you go slow. I mean, that's the biggest thing You have to go slow. It takes like it it's not something you just like fist your asshole tomorrow Like that takes months and months of like you've done that. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, you can fist your own asshole Let's talk about that. How does one how do you begin that? So I was Just punch as hard as you can, right? All five in I was taking a bath a couple of years ago I was like home alone and I'd like smoke some weed and I was like taking a bath and I was like, I wonder

I wonder And so it's like, okay, and they just started and then he just like went in and I was like, oh, wait a minute You wonder if you can put your whole fist in there. I love the way you're mine Because I'd already like been having anal sex as I'm sorry. Okay, I could I've been having anal sex for a long time Okay, so are you into anal in your personal life? Uh-huh. Yeah, I actually did I did anal before I was uh before I lost my virginity Really? Yeah And it's not even a Catholic thing It was just that like I was hooking up with this guy in high school

I was like 15 and I didn't like him very much I like had some pent-up stuff. Yeah, I was working through and he kept wanting to fuck and I was like, oh I don't want this to be my story. Like I don't like you very much. I was like, you know, you just fuck my ass. That's fine Wow, like I don't want this to be the story of how was he was he around your age? It was like 21. I know looking back on it. I'm like, oh, yeah, that wasn't great But like we we didn't know each other from high school. You did. Um, but yeah, so I'd been doing that for a while Okay, back to the bathtub back to the bathroom. So you get you're like, I wonder if I can put my fist in my butt Yeah, I just kind of really curious

So I got a like a bunch of lube because I had there was like lube and I was like, yeah I worked and then I just went in and it was very exciting. Okay, like this or closed like this Yeah, you always go like this. You always always go like this. What about your nails? Uh, so I had very short nails at the time and these are like I wear press-on nails In case I do like a girl girl scene because you can't you can't finger blast with No, no, no, because I hate seeing that in porno when the girl's like, and I'm like, oh, yeah, it always makes me twitch Okay, so you've got this up your butt and now you've got lube. Now. I've um, listened to like fisting documentaries. What is Fisting documentaries. Yeah, so there was this thing. It's this one thing I heard on Howard where they went to a fisting

Oh festival or whatever and you can like really put your hand really far I mean, how far do you go in? Have you gone in? I think I'm gonna like just like to my wrist Oh my gosh like right there. What does it feel like to have your hand that far up? What are you feeling? You feeling intestine? Are you feeling? No, you're still like in there No, luckily not because you're cleaned out like there's nothing in there. Yeah You clean out first. Yeah, no thorough cleansing. Yeah, and also before an anal scene. I assume right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So you like I always I mean, I don't starve myself. There are girls that won't eat for like 24 hours before

I don't know how you do that like your blood sugar. I go crazy. Um, I like stop eating at like seven o'clock the night before And then I just like clean out in the morning and I usually have like oatmeal or something That's kind of like you enema you might clean out you. Okay. Yeah, so so what do you what are you touching? It's just like it just feels like warm and soft like I've I've fisted other people's buttholes, too And it feels the same. It's just like warm and and soft and and kind of damp How far do you go on someone else's butthole? I got up to like just about the same spot like there And it was actually my best friend which was really funny It was for work. We got we got booked together and we kind of always had this thing

We're like, we're not going to work together because we're friends. We're really good friends. You say who or no Yeah, our name is London River. She's fantastic and hilarious. Um, and I she's like my best friend She jokingly says she's my older sister. She's a little older than me and we've been friends and before we both got into porn How do you guys ever um before that scene work together? No, we had always said like we don't work together because it's too weird It's like we actually are kind of related and then like we got an offer to do something for kink.com together And we both like accepted it from our agent like in the group text and she calls me She's like, yeah, I guess our our price for what's uncomfortable was like $800. It was not that high Well, that's interesting. So let's talk turkey. So to get fisted and for a kink site is $800 for that one because there's not really

Um, it's two girls. There's not really sex. It's like it's mostly toys So there's no like biological Penis involved the rates go up based on Significantly, so like I've done like my anal rate like for me to do like an anal shoot is like 1400. Okay Um, but then like I've done like like I did like a gang bang and that was like 2500. Oh, that's kind of good though Yeah, and is it let I'm assuming if it's like a just blowjobs or something that's less, right? Yeah I don't do a lot of like just blowjob scenes because they don't it doesn't make a lot of financial sense to do them Like unless it's for like a big company where you're going to get

Important in general most of where you make your money now is your own content. Yeah, so tell me about that because that's something It's fascinating like from a a business standpoint You look at the that industry and it used to obviously in the 70s Thrive in movie theaters people would actually go to the movies then became the 80s vhs tapes and the 90s dvds Then it became streaming sites and then Everybody was going to the tube sites, right? And then People like yourself performers actually realize well like a man what's left for us and started to take control and go like Oh, I'm going to do my own

Content so you you shoot your own stuff or everybody does now and then put it on a pay site so people can Yeah, so I have mine on like a couple pay sites and then I also have it on pornhub premium So because what pornhub does is if you're like a verified performer You can basically sign this thing where you get 5% ad revenue on all of your videos So that way like no one has to pay for them. Oh, that's cool If you just go to my pornhub page and like watch the videos I have posted I get 5% So they just like write me a check every month. That's kind of like royalties a royalties thing And now for the stuff that you put you put out on your own. Is that like your own website? I use only fans

Okay, that's a big thing right? It's the big one. It's just easy because it's a subscription base So you can like raise or lower the how often are you posting stuff there? Um, so I have a content manager that I like send her all my stuff and she posts it for me Okay, I just don't have the time to do it anymore Um, but uh, it's usually every day like new stuff every day like a little clip And then I do like bigger longer ones for other people and stuff. What kind of clips are you doing? I do the stupidest shit Yeah, I love it. Let's hear it. I love it. I'm so fascinated. Yes. So my biggest one is my stand-up actually So I just started filming myself going open mics and then doing my shows because I was I was filming it anyways to do

You're kidding. Yeah, and I had a bunch of my fans really like my stand-up And this was like, hey, I'm gonna start putting on my only fan So if you subscribe you can see my whole set and then my content manager like messaged me a couple days later She's like, do you have more tapes? That's I have like three people that want more stand-up. I was like, yeah That's awesome. I was like a little insulted because like I am naked like right next to it But if that's what you want to see what if you did naked stand-up I've I've thought about that because there's a naked comedy show that someone's like, what? Yeah, there's a full nude comedy show I think it's down in Hollywood. What? Yeah, I'll send you the info dude

If you did if you did like a residency somewhere and just did an all-naked comedy show once I think once a week on the same night. I think you would sell out have sam trippley get involved He'd really love it. Okay does in stand-up Do you try to lean in or lean out of the fact that you do adult like if I watch your do I know right away or Yeah, I mean I lean into it a little bit Because it's funny and people are interested in it and it's as soon as you say porn like everyone sits up a little bit Of course But I try to do like when I first started everything was about porn

And now I try to do other stuff too because I don't want to be just like pigeonholed as like I was really funny. Um katie morgan that used to host those uh hbo Behind the porn like industry things. She was naturally really funny She was a great host on that and she worked with kevin smith a lot. Okay. Yeah, I remember her. I think I follow her on twitter Yeah, yeah, um, all right. Oh, this is a of course a question. You've been with different performers different guys What is the best size? penis, okay, I I'm not a size queen at all

Thank god Like I'm small like the ideal penis size to me is between like six and eight inches and like Normal girth because that's right. That's fun for me. I don't want to feel like you're bottoming out my cervix 100% what's the biggest you've had? 12 inches Yeah, like in about like and like girthy. Yeah like No, actually, you know what's really interesting is um

For whatever reason so obviously that's this true black male performers tend to have larger penises than white male performers Yeah, um, they don't tend to get as hard. I think because they're bigger you can't get as much blood flow Oh, the bigger dicks don't get as hard. Yeah, and so but for some reason It's the ones you want to watch out for are like the white guys with the 12 inch dicks because those get all the way hard Really? Yeah, and then it's like a fucking battering ram like on your servings and it's terrible You can tie all of our dicks together and it would be like that Yeah, because yeah, that's that's true when it hits your cervix. It's like it doesn't feel great. Yeah Now I want to ask you something you've you've seen you've been to the some of the shows you've seen josh potter at these shows

Do you know about his? Issue he told you about it. Have you heard through the grapevine? I don't I've heard something. Okay, so He's um, he's out there. He's just crushing it the guy should be in scenes, but He is a sex worker too. He is a professional sex worker. That's true, but he um has a delayed eject he can't come uh from Sex with a with a woman. He has to do it himself. Okay to finish. Have you first of all have you ever encountered that? Pretty much every guy in porn is like that. What? Yeah Like they have to finish almost always. Yeah

Yeah, we usually set it up to pop like because it's we call it the top shot And so usually like we fuck and then once they hit enough time on the camera They're like, okay set up to pop and he'll go over and just be like jacking off like in the corner Why can't they do it them like with you or I think part of it's kind of mental maybe because that's their job And they're trying so hard not to for so long that they kind of just train themselves to like not Come from sex. Have you had um scenes this is making more sense from them though Uh, have you had scenes just like where you start and the guy's like, oh shit And then you're like it's fucking ruined like the guy finishes way too fast

I've never had them finish too fast But I've had them get really close and have to like stop everything and like calm down And like I've seen the guy like literally like walk outside like into like the cold and be like I need to like Calm down or I'm gonna come. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah Um, so that's funny that you're seeing this that josh goes through. So this has been like josh Yeah, um Maybe you really are destined to be a performer. I mean I'm starting to think it's not a bad thing anymore to be quite honest with you

Yeah, because he's like he's lasting forever And then when it's time to pop He's like, I'll take over but like sim see the thing is in your industry That's like Sounds like it's kind of the standard and stuff, you know when he's hooking up Uh in in the real world, you know, some of these girls are like, is it because I have brown hair and then He's like, I don't know bitch shut up. And then he has to finish

It's not necessarily how I handle it. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry I don't want to speak for you But I mean, so are you actually embracing it now? Yeah, I mean, I figure why why fight it, you know what I mean like, uh I don't know. I just I'm out there If they're willing to try that's the best part in itself, you know, true So who cares if it happens or not? I certainly don't so you don't so you're not bothered by it at all No, I mean, I'm I'm not trying to have a kid So I think that's the only time that it would really matter now. Let's say this

Let's say you it would be cool to feel like what it's like to just do it and like Involuntarily almost but at the same time like why like I said, I'm not trying to make babies So well, let's put it anywhere we want, you know, let me ask you this though If you were to if if it were something where his his goal was to what would do you have any advice? You feel I feel like you would have You know a thought on how he could attempt to make it happen. Yeah, you know Uh-huh. I'm not totally I'm not totally sure. Yeah, um, just because it's never been something that like super bothers me If a guy does that, um, I would say maybe like with somebody you're really comfortable with

Usually that's kind of the ticket is like if it's somebody that you or like too because I know guys that like Won't be able to come from sex because they are nervous about getting a girl pregnant Uh-huh, and so maybe like if that fear is alleviated. I don't know that would be my gut, but I'm not really sure Yeah, no, no, it's just fair. All right. Is that it? Is there a fear of getting girls pregnant? No I don't really uh have a fear of that. I just don't it's not something that I'm aiming to do either Right, so that's true, but I don't necessarily have a fear of it. I mean it would suck. Don't get me wrong Would for the baby. I mean not for me I mean that's no child deserves that faith

so I don't want that to happen. How quickly would you abandon that child? Oh my god I would I mean as soon as I had the uh the green. Oh, you mean uh as far as like if it was born I thought you were just really I want to flesh it. No, I thought abandon was your polite term for yeah No, I got you. Uh, but no, I I don't know. I would try and fight it out, but it would be I think I would really be a bad dad So do you think you would be I don't I don't think so either. I think you think you're a bad person inside But you're not I don't know on the inside. I would be like the second I couldn't do something that I wanted to do

I'd be like Really resentful towards it. Yeah, but then you get over that you get over it. Okay. You get over it That's normal people just don't talk about that But I think it is resent making we're back to that intimacy thing and that's like a whole nother gamble You need intimacy. Yeah, I guess I got to date someone. Yeah I cannot wait till you have a girlfriend. No, it'll be fun. I haven't had one in a while. So I guess I got to look can you introduce him to somebody I mean

All of my friends are like whores in comics. So I don't know if that's what I really would like. Yeah And he is not the type who's like, well, you work in the industry. Hmm. He's not He'll be like, look dinner's ready. Like he doesn't mind at all. It's true. Yeah I like a girl who performs in any capacity whether it be comedy or any any sort of art I'm into it. Just keep them in mind. All right. I will. I will. I mean instead of the good ones, you know Yeah, yeah, the sweet ones. Yes. Yeah, none of the 19 year olds. I promise. No I mean we can look at some of them Now is dating people always imagine I mean, it's funny we're talking about it in capacity with with josh

But like is dating You know Difficult, I imagine like you meet a guy. Yeah in the real world, you know a civilian and whatever Yeah, you guys flirt you guys have comedy talk. I mean like are you always like I'm about to drop a bomb on this dude Like he's gonna shit his pants. Yeah I mean, especially because I don't really like look like a porn star or like really dress like one So like I don't that's not like the vibe that people get from me Um, I don't really date casually a lot like I've never been like a person that just like is on tinder and like goes on dates

Um, but yeah, I mean it is it's a little bit of a thing too because I think initially like Usually what happens and I see this like with my friends too is like a guy will be really really excited When he finds out oh my god, that does so well. I can't wait to tell all my friends Like this is so awesome. And then like it's cool for like a little bit and then like they start to get like Well, but but enough, but what do you I'm like, okay Well, like why would I ask you to quit your job after you've been dating me for like three weeks? Like if you were in a count and I was like, you know, just I don't like it that you look at other girls taxes Yeah, like what

Plus it's work. It's work. Yeah, it's totally different And I've had that conversation with guys that I date too where I'm like just please know like this is It's a totally different mindset for me Like having sex with somebody off-camera that I really like is Just like anybody else. Can I say that that sounds exactly as what it's like to date someone as a comedian? Do you know what I mean? Like to date a civilian where they're like, oh, it's so cool. I get it Oh, no, I get it. You have to work at night and blah blah blah, but then they're like, well Why can't we just go out to dinner on Saturday? Yeah, because I have to go to fucking Houston. Yeah, you know what?

I mean like that kind of thing. That's why it's always great to date a comedian though, right? Mary one have a family with one It's so true because I would when we were dating like early on dating I remember like all your buddies, you know, they have their girlfriend and then that's the big thing I would hear constantly about like Oh, she gave me so much shit from going to do another spot this week. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's like we're both doing spots Yeah, yeah, it's ideal. Yeah. Have you ever dated anyone in porn? Um, no, no, no, I've like casually been on a couple days with people in porn

But a lot of a lot of the programs that I work with are older and married. Oh So I also I'm because I like look young I do a lot of like creepy grandpa porn Really? Yeah So like I work with like I've worked with like safe homes like fibers as times. We're really good friends. We go bowling together But like we met that guy Did we yoshi brought him To that show in Irvine a couple years ago trying to remember. Germany is the really Yeah, he's great. He's lovely. It's such a fun. Yes. I remember. I liked him very much. We go bowling together

He's really fun. We both golf. Yeah, comedy and porn really do go hand in hand They really do. I don't think psychologically like what I mean the lifestyle wise too. There is something Similar, we're both kind of looking for approval. Maybe in different ways. I think I think we're yeah, go ahead Go ahead. We're not that far off because no, I think there's an idea of like wanting to live outside of like society And kind of just comment on it Yes And sort of wanting to be like outside of the norm of what's expected of you to do Because I've always looked at both of my jobs that way

I feel like it's totally that and that Basically the reason that like people in comedy and like sex Sexworking always get along so well for the most part is they're just using different instruments to do kind of this You know, I mean like comedy you're saying things and you're doing You know, I mean like you're trying to say things to get a reaction and then if you're doing sex You're using your body to get a reaction. It's like the same kind of thing. You know, you're trying to get people off It's pleasure. Yeah, that's right. That's right. We deal in pleasure. Yeah. Yeah, it's totally true Um, it's so exciting. Oh wait, hold on. So, okay. So these are the older men

What's the corniest thing you've ever had to say dialogue wise? I'm usually the one that says the cornish. Of course. You're the hot girl. Yeah, I just okay. I did uh, I did a blow bang like last month It was so tell me everything about it was so fun. It's my worst nightmare Okay, so fun. I just got to be like really sloppy and like stupid and was just like spitting on people like all day It was so fun. How many men in the blow bank? Um five Yeah Just like and I just like grab another one and I just be like one too because it's kind of my party

So I'm just like I'd like shove one guy over I'm just like come here like and that's really fun It's it's fun to not play like when I first started doing porn Because I looked really young even though I'm like 25 I was doing a bunch of like teen like amateur stuff and I would always kind of joke It was like it's basically my job to play like a statutory rape victim Yeah, like that's kind of the thing and so since I've like gotten more into and I don't do as many of those anymore And I get to be a little more in charge And like say that's way more fun and like way more empowering

Um, but we're getting to the end of it and he's like oh, yeah, he's like you want to come here I kind of was like glaze me like a fucking donut I really hope that they kept that in I like so badly hope they kept that in Now did were there alternate lines for that moment? It's all improv like you can say whatever you want And you're not somebody obviously you don't have an aversion to jizz, right? No. I don't have an aversion. Yeah Yeah, does every man taste different and smell different. Yes. Yes. Yes, and there's I mean There's a difference between good and bad like some There's some guys where it's just you can tell that they don't drink enough water or like eat healthy

Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah die. It's a big part of it. Yeah, and then some guys you're like, huh fill up a cup Yeah, some guys you're like, oh, this is great. Like this smells clean. It's nice. Yeah That would make sense and it lines up with like a healthier guy. Yeah. Wow. Wow Who's got the best tasting jizz so far? Uh, Manuel for uh, wow, she had that on deck Do we want to see who here has the best taste? I meant for like another Actually Here, let's take a guess

Let's see. I have the of the guys here. Who has who has you think the worst tasting jizz? Oh Oh, I mean look, I write here's what I know about chris is that he cooks for himself on the weekends That's a good thing. There's a lot of self-care in chris's world. He always looks clean His appearance is neat. I think he has a good lifestyle. He takes care of himself really long pubes though long pubes But that's a hippie thing. He's kind of a hippie Okay, but he's clean and he I think he would have the best tasting now The worst tasting is between nadav and the cockroach. I think so too. I think I think any is well Don't forget the any doesn't shit for a week and he's got a bad diet. Yeah, and he has a bad diet

Yeah, he's got a I am I eat tons of pineapple when we're on the road in every green room But he smokes. Oh, do I smoke? Nadav smokes. I don't need a lot of red meat. That's a big one, right? He's really making a case for his jizz What would it cost if I wanted to shoot a scene? Oh, no, we could put it on the site. Tom. We can't get into this business What's wrong with that? Studio jeans. Do you imagine as a podcast promo? That'd be very funny. I'd be like on the next episode Well, everyone would have to go get tested which is I have to do every two weeks and that's like 165 dollars. Is it really? Yeah, so every two weeks it's 165 dollars and that comes out of your pocket. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, everything comes out of our pocket so like a transportation all of our clothes

Makeup it's like 50 50 like sometimes there's makeup. It's a lot of times you do this long term Do you like there's you know since like if you're falling porn when you're a teenager you realize some people you're like Man, this person's been in this thing like 35 fucking years. Do you feel like, you know, you're part of this industry? It'll probably be your long-term career or no It's like it's just it'll be part of your life and then off to something else I got into porn like for Like the reasons with like all the btsm stuff

But a big part of why I got into that too is because I had this idea of like I was a journalism major in college and art history and so like i'm a writer I read and so I had this idea of like I want to write a book and I knew I was interested in this and I was like And I'm also like I'm a pretty white girl from Colorado. I have no edge on me at all Like there's nothing that's innately very interesting about me as a person if I'm trying to like sell a book And so I got this idea where I was like, you know, I'll go do this for a couple years and see What I get and I like I joked like when my parents found out they're like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm on an extended research sabbatical

I love it I'm trying to figure this out and so I'm actually working on the book now I'm finally starting to come to fruition But like yeah, so I'm trying to like kind of get that and like moving into writing But the whole goal with it was to kind of try to see what this industry was about and it's fun. That's that's very interesting Everybody's always You know their first thing if you if you're playing like would you rather type hypothetical games, right? Somebody he says porn

They're like one of the first things they're like, what if my family finds out, right? Like that's that thing where you're like, I couldn't do that. Yeah, so sounds like your family knows. Yes, and What's their reaction? So they found out about a year ago So I'd already been in the industry for like a year when they found out It was just not great. That was like me being kind of a pussy and like not saying anything because I knew they were going to be upset about it They were upset about it. Um, and it took about It took about like I didn't talk to them for like several months because I was just like like this is what I'm doing And I you know, I'm an adult. I'm not asking you for money

Like I can't you know, you don't get to like treat me this way And uh, we finally like started talking the last six months. We've done a ton of work on our relationship I went home for the first time in october and saw them and we went to therapy for three hours. Wow But that sounds I bet that was awesome. It was awesome Honestly, like we worked through so much stuff like my relationship with them has not been this good in like 15 years Wow. Yeah, so it's really good. Um, they kind of understand what I'm doing with everything now They still don't love it. They don't really want to talk about it Um, they're very I kind of joke too that like I'm the only person who's ever like told their parents

They wanted to be a stand-up comic and they're like, oh, thank god Under percent. Oh, she has her clothes on. This is great. Um, so yeah, so, you know, it's it's getting better But I mean, I know some people whose parents are just very very chill about it and don't care at all And then there's some people that, you know, we're just disowned and I think that's terrible. That's terrible. Yeah Back to this testing. So every two weeks, you do just hiv or do you do every thing full panel? That's the thing that we I've always heard that people say like The safest thing is to have sex in your industry. Yeah Because you're with people who are all getting tested. Yeah, so, I mean the yeah the theory the idea is that like everyone

That's in the industry, you know has the test and is only working with people that also have a test um There's some people that I'm like more inclined to believe than others Like it's definitely the obviously the testing like lowers the rate of like any kind of like sti infection like dramatically That everyone's constantly going getting um, but right now I mean that's kind of the problem with having your own content and stuff too is that there's a lot of people that like Are just fucking their boyfriend who is not a performer Yeah, and like guess what dollars to donuts if you're like 19 and you think you're in an amazing relationship with a guy that's 29

Like he's definitely cheating on you. Like Yeah, so that's kind of the I mean that's a big issue in our industry right now She was like and there's that's another reason why some people are my no less. I don't seem online. I'm like How does it work by the way? Um when you show up to shoot Do people like is it does somebody go like do you have your test on you? So that's like a thing that happens right away. So I we get an email to us So I have I can like pull it up on my phone And there's a little qr code that you can scan on with your phone to make sure that it's valid

And I didn't like forge it. Wow. Um, we also have a it's from the free speech coalition runs and it's called the pass network And it's um, basically it's a private network You have to be a performer to get into it But you can go online and type in someone's legal name and it'll pull up there all of their test results forever Wow, wow. Did you pick a stage name to perform on? Kate Kennedy is my stage. Yeah. Yeah. So how did you pick a great name? Thank you Kate was well when I first started working in the office behind the scenes I had to pick a name then because I was emailing foreign people and doing stuff and they were like you have to pick

So Kate's my middle name. Um, and then Kennedy was just I'm obviously super fucking irish and I was like it works Nice. It works. Good. Good. Good. Good. Josh. We gotta get you a stage name Yeah, that's true. Josh Potter is such a good stage name already. Yeah It works really well. You're fucking primed for this I know for what? What's that for scenes? I think I mean, I'm already dipping my toe if you if you remember with my cameos It's right. Do you know about his cameo exposure? No, I did not. Oh my god So the people at cameo reach out to him. You know about the cameos right celebrities and people do like um, hey, uh, whatever it's like birthday greetings or sent a message and you set your price

and uh, then the person decides whether they He started doing it and started doing shoulder hair and uh shirtless and foot videos And he was making bank. Yeah, that's where the money is the foot videos. Yeah. Yeah It was more the shoulder hair. I found is a niche that not many people bring to the table It's odd. I didn't know that there was such a desire for it and here we are And what were you charging when you win $100 per cameo per can and you were getting dozens of i had about 85 or something Wow, that's awesome. It was insanity. And so, uh, I mean when my parents found out that I was taking my clothes off They were like, thank god because comedy was getting me nowhere for a decade

Geez, yeah comedy never made me that much money. So they were excited my parents. You guys are a perfect you guys are a perfect match I know Yeah You guys are great. Um Are you still doing cameos by the way? Uh, they are available. Uh, the well has dried a bit, but uh, they are still it's still up there They haven't kicked me off yet. So and is your rate still 100? It's down to 50 We have a holiday sale

Going right now black Friday sale And people can still request the shoulder hair. Yeah, whatever they'd like. Yeah, god, I was sure so vile Yeah, really is her on your feet. I was fucking disgusted feet are not good looking They're not they're not terrible. They're not terrible. They're still fucking hey, there's uh, you know There's something for everyone, right? Yeah I mean, I don't have the prettiest feet either and I do foot stuff and people pay for I think it's really weird I think I'd probably rather see yours than josh's just always go ahead and say yeah

I mean if I was ranking, I think mine might be a little bit nice, but they're not great What is uh, what is the weirdest foot request you've ever gotten? We could compare notes Okay, I I didn't get this but a friend of mine did um Where this guy asked her to buy a pair of white tin issues like white keds And put mustard in one and ketchup in the other and then put her feet in and like squish them around like one at a time I know doesn't sound really fun. I would do that. It was like a thousand dollars. I was like, oh, that's not bad Yeah, that's a good deal. Well, you have to include the price of the keds and the condiments the condiments. Yes, of course And the clean up. Yeah, the clean up. You have to take all that into consideration when you make a press

What's the weirdest one you got? Mine, I had somebody ask me to do a french press with my feet Instead of the press And I don't even know how to do a french press with the machine. So I had to decline that one. Oh, you turned it down I said no, that was the only one I said no to Ball kicking videos Where the man is in a lot of pain I feel as though I would be good at doing them. What kind of qualifications do I need?

She's always said this. It's you know, it's one of those things where you just have to practice Yeah, a little bit um to get the right amount of uh, because you you don't want to hit them that hard, right? Because you don't want to cause torsion. No, I've I've I've gone on a deep dive on ball kicking videos before And I've noticed that There's a real distinction between the ones where you can see That she's purposely I mean, it's you know, you gotta be paying attention Kicking him kind of behind the balls. Yep. So she's kind of kicking him in the tank And and it's the illusion and then there's that one that that famous one that we really connected on

Where I think it was in Uruguay where uh, that woman was fucking Pulling punching kicking and he's deliberate and he's naked you can see and they they swell up and he's like Bleeding and she was like suffer suffer as she was like really Really laying into him and he was like he was in so much pain And that one you could tell that she was to zero concern for his well-being It makes sense that was in Uruguay because we are not allowed to do that here You're not allowed to do that. There's a lot of stuff that you're not allowed to so like you have to you have to pretend Yeah, there's a lot that you have to and that's something you run into with btsm all the time

Is like you can only show and different sites are different with their credit card processors The guys like no, no, no, I want you to kick me in the the credit card company doesn't care Oh, because it's somebody's pain. I got you. So like though your payment processor will shut you down If you and they have like lists of rules and some of them are like super arcane and bizarre Like there's one clip site that will only let you have 30 seconds of bondage at a time Yeah Like how can you show as many monage for 30 seconds and then cut away it takes longer to like take them out of it Than 30 seconds. Yeah, um, so you have to like, you know, it's the same with like piss blood

Needles, what's the piss rule? Um, there's certain ones. I mean these sites are different But like how much you like if you can drink it or if you can pee on people or people peeing on each other Like that's a whole I had to do also do a deep dive on this when I was like working in btsm Because I had to find out what we couldn't couldn't post places. Um, so why how do you feel about pee? You know, it's all my thing personally. I've done it. It's fine. Again, it's one of those things where if you're really hydrated It's not that bad. It's kind of like squirting like Squirting is just peeing on purpose when you're really hydrated. Now. Can I thank you? Hold on?

You realize what she's saying all it is that this is a ymh exclusive. Lisa trigger Was in here we're talking about whether or not squirt is piss. Yeah, this is a ymh exclusive ymh exclusive We have the authority you're in the business. You're telling me always a debate about people saying it's not this No, there's no debate. It's pee That's all it is. It's just pee if you go to a squirting site What they have is they have a table like the craft services table and they have a ton of pediolite on it And those girls go and they drink like two or three of those giant pediolite things They just chug them as the pee comes out clear and it smells like pediolite. It smells really good actually

Wow, it's nothing. It doesn't smell anything like pee. It's basically just water. But yeah, that's what it is But then she's super hydrated with vitamins and minerals, right? Yes, yes, wow Oh that's squirting What about mailing your panties to people for a while josh was a panty aggregator What's the statute on mailing? Uh, I mail panties. Yeah, I mail them. Um, I wrap them and I mean I wrap them in plastic. I like I have a whole thing like I wrap them in like nice tissue paper with like a little bow Do you take the request if the guy's like go on a jog?

Yeah, I like wear them because they almost always stay on as to what they request Yeah, because you can kind of tell if someone's more. I just wear them that day. I met a couple that does uh content and uh They do a lot, you know just sex stuff online and she was like, yeah, I got a request for poop in in Tupperware But he wanted me to follow a specific diet for three days. Oh And um, there she was like, um, and then he was like, I'll give me like, I don't I was like 3,500 She's like, all right

So and I was like, yeah, she goes. I stayed exactly what he wanted me to eat And then just dumped in a box and sent it to him You ever had that one? I've never had that one. No, I do turn people down pretty frequently for requests Yeah, I mean I get people that were request stuff where like like I'm not cool with a lot of like the race play stuff It's just not my stuff. Yeah I'm not gonna say that. Yeah, that's what other like say this word. We watch some of that remember. Yeah I do remember Yep. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember

I get that and I do think that like fetishizing stuff like that should be kind of understood a little bit outside of like societal context Because a lot of times when we fetishize things, it's our way of dealing with them like mentally Um, and that's why a lot of fetishes are a little bit out there But for me, like that's always been my line like because I I work with anyone of any color You know, I'm not like I don't not work with people for extra money because their people are the deal What is going on with that where it's like the place that really you can really highlight Um, the the the separatism between races is in the adult industry where they're like Oh, do you work with black eyes or you know, I mean like this whole yeah, and that people charge more for it

Yeah, which is like gross. It feels gross. It's really gross. I'm like, don't do that Like just they're a performer and like, yeah, that's always been my line is like, I'm happy to work with anyone of any color I'm not I don't do anything that fetishizes race. I'm not a person of color. I don't belong in that dialogue Yeah, like that's just I should not be doing that Um, actually reaches the orgy I just did because it was uh interracialist so the guys were black And the director was like, oh, they're the basketball team and I was like, that's racist. Can they be a little cross team? Can we say they're a little cross? That's hilarious

That would actually get my attention the most if I this is a lacrosse team And then I kept saying a bunch of like lacrosse stuff through the whole movie So they like couldn't cut it out and he's like I could see him because he's a friend of mine. He's like like me He's like Kate. I was like, I know Jesus Oh man, josh Yeah What would it take to get you to do a scene

I mean just the money like everyone else I suppose What do you think are you gonna be a ymh production? Yeah, you're gonna direct it. Yes Ah, man, that'd be an honor. I would love to do that to make josh come. No, I'm just a scene just shoot a scene Well, what's the scene? Uh, josh is like He's here at the studio and all the power goes out and he's like i'm scared. It's dark And then uh, he uses his phone to call an electrician, you know and then she comes in And she's just wearing an electrician's belt. That's it And she's like, oh the power thing's over here all the lights come on and then you're like, oh my god

And then you guys do it. I love it. I love your direction always christina has tom told you about What i'm gonna do when i'm blind. No for the porn Um, so like I don't think there's a lot of blind porn stars No, so that I could very well just do a thing where it's like i'm a little blind bitch or whatever And a blind sissy and i'm like, I miss what tits look like and they're like, we're gonna give you some tits and then they bring in But it's a dick And then they're like suck on those tits. I'm like, this isn't what I remember to be like, but it's a dick It's basically like humiliation stuff, you know, but i'm blind so that's so funny and everyone takes advantage

And it's always dicks and he's like every time they're like Suck this girl's toes and he's like I like that or he's like have sex with this girl and he's like, it's a butthole. It's a guy's butthole Yeah, but he never knows. No, I never know. I just I always trust the people very wholehearted. He's like, she's so strong Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I like this idea. This is a good lane And they're like, there's that's my future. Here's two hot chicks just reach up and then you just like And they hit you in the face with their dicks and stuff I would by the way, I would self fund that site if you if that happened, I know I'm excited

Like every month they'd be like, there's no subscribers. I'm like, here's one for 10 grand. Go ahead. Keep doing this 15 years from now probably No, I think you could sell this. I I think you'd have subscribers for this. Oh, yeah, people would watch this the humiliation Yep. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait to be blind. What is there any like genre within like within it the business that you're like Turned up besides, you know, you don't want to do the risk play poopy. Yeah, I don't do this That's I mean, that's not something that gets filmed in mainstream. Anyway, it doesn't right? No, you can't it's a credit card processor thing You can't sell it. It is. That's so fascinating. I had no idea

um, yeah, I don't do uh, let's see. I don't do a lot of the like, um Any more because I'll do like the BDSM stuff where it's like more kind of like degrading or like humility I don't do a lot of just generally like Degrading sex if that makes sense. I don't do a lot of the really nasty And I don't like it when people talk to me that way either Especially if they assume like when a male talent will be like, yeah, like bitch come stuck on the stick I'm like, you're gonna get way further with me being nice to me Right, like a nice a please and a thank you will get you so far and I'm amazing at this

So you definitely want me to do it. Yeah, but like you need to be nice to me. Um, because that'll just yeah So I don't do a lot of the really crazy gross. I don't do the vomit. Thank you. So disgusting. It's gross like Yeah, it's not my thing. I mean like not to not stop it Don't do it get your finger away from that. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. I don't like No, I don't like the sound of it either and like not to knock anyone's fetish because I don't know Now that you're not into it. I won't do it. I promise Yeah, no, I don't do that and then I don't do any uh, I don't do like the femdom stuff either. I'm watching you. I'm changing pages Yes, I am

Yeah, I don't do like the female like dominatrix stuff. It's I'm not a dominant I don't have a bone in my body like that. It's just not natural to me just submissive that I'm I'm kind of a switch I can be a little bit toppy with other girls But like when guys will especially like if they call to do because I'll do like phone sex and stuff too Like just at my house and uh When they're they're like, oh, like I want you to like humiliate me and do this stuff I'm like, I can't I'm like, I don't even know what to say Like I do this as a living and I've seen this kind of porn and I still like I feel super cheesy. Yeah

It feels cheesy. Mm-hmm. Yeah, what's your biggest request in phone sex? No That's not a fucking puke sound. What is your favorite one? Oh, I love him He's a nipple guy with a thick nipple I want you to milk me dry Where's I want all the cum? I want oh, I don't know where that one is. I don't know He loves his cum He loves his cum. I don't remember Okay, what's your biggest phone sex request, you know what I get a lot of guys that just like want to talk to me

Like it's not even phone sex. I have a lot of guys that are uh, either divorced or widowed Or like or like have had a hard day at work and they just want to talk and like I had one guy that was like Do you want to because he like lived in florida and he was like Do you want to go see a movie and I'll go see a movie the same day and then I'll call you afterwards And it'll be like we went to a movie together. Would you charge him by the minute? Well, so I charge by the minute because it's like it's a service thing So they have like an encrypted phone number that they call me at Yeah, um, but I wouldn't charge him to like go to the movie. I was like, it's a 90 minute

Well, I wanted to see the movie anyways So you went and saw it it was I was going to and then I ended up getting really busy that day Like how to shoot so I think we're gonna do it like later But I'll just send me money for the ticket like I'll go watch the movie and then talk to you about it. Yeah Yeah, so they want love they want Yeah connections with people What movie was it? Uh, it was the lighthouse and it was my idea because I was like I asked what's the lighthouse

Well, it's no robber patents influx the mermaid What it's uh, it's black and white. So you picked the movie. He didn't pick the movie Yeah, why it said I wanted to watch the movie and then he had this idea of like I want to go to a movie with you but not with you because I remember when the chick fucked the guy that was a fish Yeah, that was the shape of water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's also kind of artsy. It's black and white robber patents In uh lives in a lighthouse and he fucks a mermaid. Yeah, and one of my friends went and saw in the first thing I was like, so he fucks the mermaid, right? Like you That's depending on whether or not i'm going to go see and he's like, oh, yeah, he definitely fucks the mermaid

I was like, all right, cool. I'll go see that. Nice. Mm-hmm. Now, um You're doing uh, how often are you doing spots now? Oh, so I mean I try to do a mic every night Wow Good for you. Yeah, it's I took a couple I took the last two weeks off because I like I said I like ran into some writers block and I was like I started to feel like I was going every night and I was just doing exactly the same thing and I started to get really frustrated with it That's good that you have that instinct. Yeah, that's a good instinct when you get when you feel Uh, that it's that it's wasteful to just do the same thing all the time. That's a good thing

Because I was like, I don't I'm not thinking of anything new and like it's just there's only so many and also It's a bunch of the same people at these mics. Like they've got to be getting tired of the shit too Um, so I kind of took a few weeks off and then all of a sudden the last couple of days I've been having like good ideas again, and I'm like, okay, cool. So yeah Um, and I'm about to go out of town So I'm like not going to get to go to mics this week, which kind of sucks. You do them all over LA Yeah, I mostly do like around Hollywood. I live like Hollywood like Los Feliz area. So I usually go try to go around there Right. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's fun. So it's nice

It's I really like I was really nervous to start doing open mics because I think like when you don't know anybody and then you Go and like and like too, like I started doing comedy at the comedy store So like I started doing it on a show Which was totally unwarranted like I did not deserve it at all. It was really nice. Somebody let me do it But I that was your first spot at the belly room. Uh-huh. It was a book show that we put on. Yeah Nice and it was Oh, sorry. No, you should come do my flappers. Uh, we've done it already. I would love to come back But come in. I know you're out of town this week. We're dark this week. Anyways potter go

Will you tell her the dates because potter's on there too every week at flappers. I have josh. I have Um chase o donnell and sarah weinshank is going to be hosting and now kate kennedy is going to come do some spots Fantastic come see kate to stand up on my show. It'll be fun. Yeah, that'd be great. I really liked that. It was a fun room I like yes, our listeners are so awesome and open and I think especially after hearing you now and knowing you But they probably would love to see you do stand up. That would be awesome. I love it. Yeah, yeah, all right Uh, kate, thank you for coming. Thank you very much for having me. Appreciate it and uh, josh Hope you can come soon. Thanks, buddy Bye

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