Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 540 - Tony Hinchcliffe - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

Christina P is back!! She discusses her mourning of Lord FedSmoker and how she heard the terrible news of his passing. A man is kicky footing his way onto a Subway in our opening and clip, and then... *CHIPS IN A BOWL* none other than CHARLES FROM MATCH HIMSELF! On the phone and in person. We get the whole scoop from Charles in ehhhhh about 8-10 minutes. Once things are wrapped with Charles we move on to more pressing issues like a new episode of “P*** Spots.” Plus new Fart Simpson, viewer comments and we find a new sex worker to ask Josh Potter about. Tony Hinchcliffe is a stand up comedian and host/creator of the wildly popular live podcast “Kill Tony.” The Mommies ask Tony about everything from getting a vasectomy to scrum action. Plus we find out how Tony’s mom is doing and discuss his Podcast partner Brian Redban’s eating habits, and we discuss the recent alleged murderer to appear on “Kill Tony.”

Tom Segura the actor-comedian podcast host Tom has three hit Netflix stand-up specials to his name Incruiting his most recent disgraceful. He's currently headlining the take it down comedy tour He co-hosts the podcast mom's house with his wife Oh Yeah The drops that have been taking the YMH nation by storm fantastic it really set off ripples I think it's a hit. Hell yeah, man. I mean that was a beat by Manolo. Thanks very much for the more ball Mulberg

Mix that you made for us there mark ball word mark ball ball People really have been into Those Larry that Larry segment I've been into it I even rewatched the show and now because I enjoyed the drop so much Yeah, and I feel like we got to take a deeper dive. We definitely do Saka suflate I got so many text messages about it. That's what you can tell when something like is really popping is when people start texting you about it Friends are like I got I went crazy on your mark. Walberg

People were making their own shirts in Tampa. That's yeah, Saka souffle. I got a lot of messages. They're like, where's the Saka souffle? It's just so special Man, I can't believe we slept on this clip for like a year or two was it out or well It was out in a in highlight form They put out highlights only and I was like, alright, and then yeah two weeks ago three weeks ago They uploaded the full interview from a year. I don't know man I have no idea why they did that but they did and We are forever grateful. I

Know now I want to go on a deep dive on all his interviews There's so many things I did a deep dive I'm not suggesting that one of our listeners go through all the interviews Pull the blunders. I'm just saying it would be neat. Definitely don't spend your time and Don't email us right at your mom's podcast at gmail.com with the subject line Larry King with links and time codes To the mistakes that you found We wouldn't want this to snowball into a brand new YMH meme if you will that don't do that Terrible that would be a waste of time. Yeah, it's just for laughs

Constructive and it's mean spirited and it's frankly not what we're about on this show Exploiting people's weaknesses. We don't do that. Don't do that There's gonna be there's so much cool stuff gonna happen this But I wanted it to you know give you a chance You weren't here to grieve about Connell Eugene Peterson aka fed smoker who is now it's now confirmed that he passed if you're hearing this for the first time I hope you pull over Because it's it's kind of jarring to hear

But you didn't get to know Jump into any of that. Well, I was very sick with a flu and strep throat You felt worse when you find out what happened. Well, you know, I think we all grieve differently for me It's been in cycles and in spells and I think the nation is grieving You know, I did tamp on this last weekend and I we gave some toasts we we grieve together Raise the glass as a nation of mommies and my camera through I am gonna miss him and I hope that we can continue to explore his Videos still well, here's the thing. Are we allowed to do that? Is that okay?

For sure. I did a dive on fed smoker videos on my own this weekend You did and there was so much that we never got into that is wild What did you find I mean like we'll have to do it some other we'll do it soon But like just him pulling into a gas station and he sees this woman He goes, what's up there you pig you fucking sow. I was like, holy shit He he was he was he was actually a musician. He actually, you know, I watched that segment with with um Drew playing the piano. He's like he doesn't sound like he played and I was like it sounds like he played to me Like that was pretty well put together and then I found him playing the piano with another guy

Singing with three other guys like in a band what I get a barbershop quartet. That's a little different little more Gigi Allen's voice sounds probably pretty scratchy. You know our our homeboy Fart Simpson Yes, yeah, he did. Oh, yeah, we got distracted by this we got so many good things. It's too exciting shit. All right. I got it We got it. We gotta let you go Alright Let's do

This is a pretty fun one We'll get right back into this. Okay, but here's the opening clip my bad Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura Christina Yeah, I love it. Yeah, it's pretty guy seems pretty nice, you know, now there's a cool guy So he is On the subway he's in a wheelchair and his wheelchair is stuck in the exit And then he's just sounds like he's just verbally abusing other passengers who are probably making reasonable suggestions

Like, you know if you turn he's like fuck you bitch like that So like no, but if you he's like shut the fuck up you fat bitch Yeah, cuz he's clearly blocking it. Yeah, because he's sideways and he should be faced with his wheels Through the door. Can I help you sir? Wow, I'm trying to help you. Yeah Bitch and by the way, he is not very thin. He's not so You know, I'm not really getting the exercise. No, you need snow. No, he looks like shit. Is this New York? Yeah, it's gotta be yeah, you know what I saw tick-tock this woman goes

Here's how you know you're from New York and she started screaming. She's like See all those people who turn around and look they're not from you, New York, right? Everybody else Everyone else is like that's just another crazy course Steve What if he has He has you know, his own standards. He was like about to like say that are where he's like, I can't say You find it Super bitch

One of my favorite things I've ever seen you think he hesitated cuz he's like I can't say that I can't say that's a pejorative term I Think he was gonna say sow again, maybe he called her a sow at the top You might be right. It's not past. I wouldn't put it past I think he was upset because he was gonna double up on sow. Maybe and he couldn't Sound like Bernie Mac. Yeah, I'm gonna punch up. Yeah, it is. That's a bitch. Oh, you're right. He's done like Bernie Mac It's nice cadence. Yeah No, that's okay. So maybe I had heard that in my head

I wanted to call her a sow No Oh, wow that worked out well This guy real calm this door is broken. Okay That's all you had to say Totally fine now But doesn't that that's always a case when someone is like when they explain it in normal clear terms and then the crazy person Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, stupid

I kind of feel like a real I don't know. I I relate to the back and forth of The way that just happened and how I speak to our oldest toddler. Yeah times when he's like And I'm like this won't work without batteries And he's like, okay. Yeah. Yeah, you have to be real clear and slow So, well, that's it. Is that so this is uh, this is his big sign off right here Shut up, bitch. Shut up. I want to talk to you. Talk to me you motherfuckers. Don't say nothing to me You That was great

I think you're right. He was gonna say spic. Yeah, and then he said he said right now. He's a bunch of immigrants Yeah, he because he realized the spic thing Yeah, all the codes were adding up and he was like, yeah, it's like 30 spics here right now He's gonna go sideways quick Well, and he kickyfooted in his wheelchair. Yeah, he wasn't a real wheel trailer wheel trailer. Oh my god Is that would I do a larry king? You just did a larry king. Oh my god wheel trailer A wheel Charer

Which is also not I just have a stroke. It sounds like it. I just made up the word you did. Wait. He kickyfooted that doesn't count Yeah You're not supposed doesn't that make you upset when you see people kickyfooting It makes you upset I don't like kickyfooting. Yeah, I used to see it all the time mad at people that when they're like Oh, you know, I used to see them on 6th street And they're like, do you have any Change and then they're chair and you're like, all right, and then they're like Kiki kiki kiki foot across the street and like hey, what are you doing?

Yeah, your fucking legs work. Yeah, you're kickyfooting. You can't kickyfoot and have the wheelchair It's not fair to people who really need a wheelchair. Absolutely. I think so You could if you see somebody kickyfoot in a wheelchair I think it's perfectly like acceptable society to grab the back and toss them out of the chair you know They'll be like what and they're gonna stand right out. Yeah, you can walk Because that to me that implies that they're just being kind of slackery Like you can walk if you can kickyfoot you can probably walk. Yeah, you can walk

They're hustling kicky. Yeah, they're pushing themselves. Yeah No, you don't get a chair You're not you're not getting a chair um There was one you used to get really mad it was Santa Monica Boulevard those ones. Yeah, you used to get so mad This is pretty exciting Are you want to I'm ready? I've been waiting for this for days Audience is gonna lose their mind. I think we finally set it up. We have what's going on. It's Charles

Charles lined up for a phone call right now to go over his infamous his infamous call Just so you know what this came about through uh, I started I followed charles. Yep liking his photos And then I sent a response to one of his insta posts. I was like, love you charles. He's like, I love you too Christina We're gonna get some of the full scoop here just wanted to do a video instead of a text or a phone call I would like to do a phone call instead so Why don't we go ahead and uh, oh boy, what's going on? What's going on?

He's really an upbeat guy Oh, that's the wrong. Is it Charles? Charles! What's going on? Oh man I uh, I actually just rewatched it in two months. Yeah Oh god, it's embarrassing. It is embarrassing I Uh, I actually I tried going through my text to find out who actually sent it Oh, so you don't know who like who put it out there?

I have no idea. Okay. So give us literally first of all, um We really enjoy you and we love you charles your positive energy. You're the best. It is you're a positive guy I think even the first time I saw it. We pointed out that I think you're A nice guy a good guy and that this was just one of those you know hilarious organic Kind of misfires. So tell us the full story. So you're on match

You're obviously communicating with someone and then what is like what's the story behind the video being made and sent? Yeah, so It was I would call these girls and they would never pick up and I suck at texting like actually writing text So i'm like well if they're not picking up my call And I suck at texting because I don't know how to flirt through text. I'm like I'll just send a video. Yeah, and She is not the only one that got videos. I actually went back and there's other ones I was looking at and i'm like, oh, oh you found your other videos. Oh, no

I found other videos and they actually went out with me after the video. Okay. Oh, please send those send them immediately Yes Oh my god, and they worked and they worked Okay, is there something let me ask Let me ask you this Is there a difference when you analyze yourself between the one That we've played and people talk about and the ones that worked. Is there any do you see a difference between them? Yeah, what is the one I sent

Is was way too long the one that you guys saw it was just way too long and it was just completely ad-lib And sent and there was no structure And it was if I got that I would have saved it and sent it to a show seven years later Yeah So How how do you the ones that worked are they do you kind of is it's you know, do you script them? Uh, they're much shorter like how do they normally work when they have they have actually worked out for you I I gotta show the

You guys broke it down pretty well too Like I gotta show off the office at the time it was new knew that so I gotta pretend like i'm actually employed and I have a view Yep, and Editing a video that was completely ad-libbed That was going up on youtube ironically enough and then I gotta I gotta I gotta say that i'm busy, you know, of course But I have to pretend like and you also like I believed you I thought you were super busy You did also ad-lib that you got uh a latte

You know Yeah, which was free So did the did the woman that you sent the infamous Video to did she end up ever meeting you at lilies and union square around? Eight eight fifteen Uh, I I haven't found her text. I found the other one you did so I was it was like So it's it's funny is that I look back and I say

dude Just stick to the text because it was working. There was no point of throwing a video in and I was just throwing complete metal into You know like a cog in the wheel was like there's no point in sending this to video like she's already gonna say yes to a date Right first date too. Like you can't hear away with this stupid video now How's charles's love life now? What's going on now? Are you single? Are you dating? Well? What's funny is um So

I actually sent video to dm so Somewhere out there. There's definitely instagram dm videos of modern-day charles like within the last year and I was like And then it just never worked not one dm Where I don't know the person has ever worked. So I'm like I can't continue doing this. This is embarrassing So there's definitely dm videos out there modern day. I don't know, you know, I don't know who's got them But it's definitely instagram messages. Well, yeah, we are we are we are petitioning the world right now If you have a charles

Dating video Please send it in And when you think lilies, do you go to lilies a lot? Is that your spot now? We know you think lilies. No No, no, no, not really at that time. I did I went to lilies and coffee shop. That was like the hip place and then uh And then not really but I just joined online dating

And uh about a month ago and it's totally different like at the time I was I was just keeping my head above water in the dating scene And now it's so much better being older, you know, like sure. Yeah, you're a guy Well, what about like so if somebody wants to date you now? Well, how like let's say a woman out there, uh, is interested. What's the best way that she should reach out? You know, it's funny. I don't think I think one time, you know, I know so many so many of my girlfriends that they get Talked to hit up. They will show me their inbox and it's full I've gotten only one girl sent me an instant like an instagram message. I've never

Rarely have gotten talked to in person ever Uh, nothing on facebook. No text random text. Charles doesn't Charles. We're about to change the game Yeah, so let us help you Because one out of 10 years Okay, let's first of all is can we talk about is are you cool with your instagram page being promoted right now? Can we talk about that? Well, uh people found me. Yeah, but I mean like people found you on their own But we haven't publicized it. So can we can we I've gotten text messages too. Can we? Oh, that's fine. Okay. So what first little text about the show. What is that? How'd you find how you found out about it?

So I replied through the you one of the youtube Comments and then people I just got text like my cell phones out there. So people are just like You know high and tight. Yeah, keep feathering. So I guess those are two Big uh, yeah outside jokes that I'm not on the inside. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you may want to take your phone number off of youtube Well, that's gonna get crazier for you. Let's do this. What is uh go ahead and tell us and then spell your instagram handle It's at and then my last name b is a boy o t e n s t e n

botston boten stent boten stent. Okay. Sorry Yeah, at boten stent and and I love your instagram charles because you show off the the properties that you're listing And they're all like these multi million dollar nice places beautiful places and you have a good attitude. You're enthusiastic I love charles. I appreciate it. I I honestly when you both hit me up I thought it was just complete sarcasm. I'm like these guys are just gonna No, and then Christina, you're like, no, we actually and I didn't know you were married So you're like my husband. I was like, oh tom

Are you disappointed? Did you want to hook up charles? Yeah, Christina, I was gonna fly out to uh I actually where would you take me on our date charles? Where are we gonna go? You know la I I don't know what the dating scenes out there my sister's in Santa Monica. Oh, you guys are in la. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but I mean, I'm sure your sister could give you a couple spots Yeah, I wouldn't even

I feel like dating on the east coast is so much easier On the east coast Yeah, I've never owned a car So I oh, yeah, like I wouldn't know how to drive Uh, yeah, we're gonna. Yeah, we'll change that if you move out here. Um Yeah, well, look, have you seen the videos that people are making? Have you seen any of those yet when they're doing their charles? No, but it's I'll send I'll send out The the other ones

That would be amazing Really excited. We would love that Yeah Okay, please respond to the email Are they on other episodes? I'd love to see these. Uh, the the one that comes out. Was it this week Nadev? Um, it was either last week or it's coming out this week. I think it should well We'll we'll send you a link. We'll send you a link because we have your your info and we'll send you a link So you can see that people are doing their their versions

Can you give us before we leave can you give us like a real um Enthusiastic like when you're doing your time Eight o'clock eight thirty I got some staples staplers Great fantastic Yes, I love it. Yeah, you're like there's some pens over here and the door you got a computer I'm editing myself Well, I have to say of all the people that we have profiled on the show

I love your attitude about this and your ability to laugh at yourself and we love you and Thank you so much for being a good sport. Yeah, thanks a lot. Charles. We really enjoyed it, man No, it's time. You're the best too. I showed I showed my mom and she's like come funny Thanks That's awesome, man, and we are really looking forward to the new charles videos we're gonna get Oh, yeah, they'll they'll come through can't wait. I want to find out who this girl is I'm gonna reply to her. Please do. Please do. Yes. All right. I'm gonna be a follow-up stay in touch. We'll talk to you soon, man All right guys. All right. See you buddy

Charles Wow, could there have been a better phone call that was that have been any more pleasant the guy is so sweet I can't tell you I would be that nice If people are making fun of my that was oh, no, he he has a really good attitude. Oh my goodness Yeah, it's a really good guy somebody please going on. It's charles date charles now that we get about his instagram ladies hit him up Can I tell you the other thing that's kind of um, I think part of that That is uh, almost like a life lesson Is when something's embarrassing and you just say it's embarrassing and you just discuss it

Honestly and organically everything just kind of Right like it feels it just normalizes it totally. I think the key to everything is accept accepting Whatever flaw you have. Yeah, that's right and and and then nobody can Get you on it, right? Yeah. Well, yeah That's that's charisma. That's the definition of charisma when you know your flaw and you embrace it Yeah, you embraced it instead of being like, you know, he could have he could have played it 10 different ways of like You know, you guys are just you're not seeing what I was trying to do Yeah, and you just kind of you live in the denial of it and he was just like, yeah, it was terrible

It was hilarious man. I love it He said he's not a good texture Which makes sense because if he's like, oh, I'm not good in the tax I was wondering why he would send the video now that mystery is solved Um, and I love that he admitted to just wanting to show off the office. You were right about that one. Yeah Yeah, and then he said he wasn't even that busy. Yeah I was surprised because I believed his acting. Oh like Charles is really busy. No, it makes sense. You know, it's a young guy Yeah, trying to court a lady and you just go I got a lot going on. I'm busy

I'm making stuff. I don't you know, I don't really have time but I'll see I'm thinking lilies So one of the things I don't know if you uh, so I first noticed this a few weeks ago when we first had the guy Remember the guy who did the video? Um, where he was like women should fucking clean of course So I of course I went that day to the comments just to see like what the top comments were. Yeah, and um And they were it was so fucking funny some of the things that people were writing that I talked to blue band and

He started to pull um, some of the best Comments from episodes So should we should I go to? Um, what the most recent one 538 that one or just um the the 536 folder I think has the cobertate comments. It does. Yeah, I'll hold on because that's where it started I had a woman in Tampa say that she thought he was green screened that that was that was it was a green screen It was a pretty good green screen. Yeah, what like I didn't even notice it. I didn't notice it

So he's totally pretending like he's a baller and he's not But it's so calculated. He knows exactly what he's actually like if you go to his His twitter page and he he has a whole thread about if you've seen star wars, you're a loser. Yeah He's like i'm too big You know, he also makes us in videos though of uh of him like in a normal setting where it actually looks like he's on the Guest count. Yeah, that's still water video looks like he's on the ymh set Wait, let me just talk about some of the comments. So what has happened? One good thing I can say about burt is that his chins are very well formed both of you

Both of them are top tier quality chins. Okay, that's uh, that's for the burt. That's a burt thing Let's see that's not for this guy. Hey cp. You should fucking clean. What's up with the dust on the dog's head? Man, it's a little bit. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, better fucking clean stupid bitch um The racist parrot alternate. I like how Tom just paid his mom Um, let's see. Oh, yeah, the tattoo. He should get baby raper tattoo on his forehead. That's a really good idea But it doesn't have that Tate thing. Oh shit that original one. No

Um, do you remember what it was? Yes. So what it was is that Copertate said, you know, if you just clean the place It's an it's an exchange because we'll go out to dinner And he goes we'll go out to dinner and my card never gets declined. I heard. Yeah. Yeah, and then somebody in the comments wrote Yeah, it's called overdraft protection, man And that fucking made me laugh So hard that I texted you I was like you gotta start pulling somebody that's true I don't think our cards have been declined in a while because that shouldn't happen anymore. Yeah, you just sign up for it

And then yeah, it'll just take it for your savings account later Stupid This is uh, what is this more? So when's the baby raper fanny pack merch coming out? Oh, yeah, because he had that in court or that when he was talking to the government in arizona He had a baby raper fanny pack. Yeah, he lifted it up and he was and he also fence mocker was always talking about Baby rapier stamps going on your forehead. Yeah, so we could do the stamp is what you're saying too. Yeah, uh to chomos And like just anyone steps out of lines like you're gonna get that stamp on your fucking forehead Did you see

That that model amber rose got a forehead tattoo. Yes speaking of on her instagram Yep, I mean can you google it just i'm sorry. I have to digress for one moment because yeah, yeah So let's go into this though real quick. Yeah, it is nuts. Look for her image. Oh, here's here's one I didn't know about this second time they mentioned you season two without mentioning chris dillia No, we just hadn't finished it at that point. So didn't I don't think we wanted to know we finished it Oh, well dillia is amazing. I didn't see him in it What is on her forehead amber rose who I think is just stunning she had a baby recently And she tattooed I think her children's is that her children's names on her forehead

I mean I have to say i'm not sure it's adding to the look What's it say? Can you do you know what it says it says slash because I think her baby one of the children's name is slash On her other baby's name. I'm pretty sure dedicated to what does it what does that say? sons and Slash, okay So my question is should I be doing that for our children to let them know that I love them? No

Do you like how she looks? No Yeah, no, let me go back to these comments. Go ahead. Um Anyways, I didn't see dillia in that show. You didn't notice him in it. I didn't notice him. Hmm. Um Do you like your life christine? How dare you suggest tim partake in any women duties ever stupid Ha ha ha you like your life jenny. We've been saying that a lot lately. You like your life If your partner finds it nice when you find a girlfriend, you might be a tiktok

Of course, that was the lady who was so excited about the n re so exciting when your partner gets a new boyfriend or girlfriend Why doesn't christine just pay someone to outsource eating tommy scrum agreed? That's actually that was brought up at a dinner one time at a at a big group dinner What are you talking about one time? We had a big group dinner and we asked everybody Do you eat your spouse to scrum all the women were like no no and one of them was like I'll bring someone in to do that if you that's what he wants and I was like bring someone in sounds like a What do you want me to bring in? I just someone on a leash I don't know rose the lady with the forehead tech just fucking put a little treat on the ground

I'll be like here and then you put the treat in my butt And then she Put her back in the crate. This is the cum dog. You haven't revisited this idea since redondo You're saying we need a sex slave on call just for scrum eating just for scrum just the scrum eating And I'll even let me think about it. All right. I might let it happen Well, because is it really is it cheating will it compromise our intimacy? No, I think I see it as a medical thing Me too. That's what I'm saying because there's a lot of stuff that could happen bad if you don't take care of it Let's ask dr. Drew. Yep. Good idea

Yeah I was thinking of getting you some jewelry today. Yeah, you should get me Tickets to the Laker game for that one. Christine has advanced memory and extremely high capacity for remembering means pouncy twins be gay Pouncy twins be gay That's true, but I can't remember what we did anything yesterday. No clue No, oh man, that's so funny. Pouncy twins be gay. Pouncy twins be gay A couple other ones. There's a huge Bad two shaped hole in our community's heart. Oh, isn't that the truth?

Gosh, Christina. Tom, you're a psychopath. Also, Christina, you know what food I hate chicken I hate chicken I fucking hate it. So I just you know what else I hate eggs too. Just like sakasufle hates eggs I just forced myself to eat it I fucking hate chicken. It's so dry This was a great conald aka fed smoker. How'd you get into heaven there? Fuckface st. Peter not by talking like that That is scallywag. Fantastic. What does he say scurvy bitches? Yeah, you're not a scurvy bitch with a stinky twat He's like, I'm not paying for pussy. I want you to clean this house

Oh I miss him the larry king has a stroke tom you got it That's cody freeman Never seen anyone snap himself out of a stroke before keep on trucking larry you legend And finally He basically did He basically did Whoa, that's hilarious. Rappaport is so close

To evolving into a non-sane type of guy would love to see it funny that you say that Because a lot of people were tickled by some of the idiosyncrasies that the great michael rappaport has One of them is his you knows Um his quirks his laugh, you know, we are huge fans of michael. We loved having him. He was great on the podcast Such a sweet guy and so talented and by the way, if you uh, If you remember if you go to last week's episode, there was a point where I was talking about how great the episode of lube was Yeah, I remember he was like you can't find it. It's like black market or whatever because all his loot all lube shit got taken away But um, I didn't look for it, but somebody just sent me one of the scenes from that episode

It is so I mean, I I remembered that it was good, but I didn't remember specifics I watched this scene. It's like it's michael and louis walking down the street and it's basically Louie being like I can't be around you. You're just like you're way too much But it's like the way it's written. It's it's written So it's so real. It's like uh, it's it's one of those things louis was so good at this and probably still is articulating things that are familiar that you've never heard said before right the uh The way he would do it in a stand-up and he did it in the show It's like it's such a brilliant scene. He has a gift of articulating what is

Unspoken. Yeah. Yeah, he really does like my judge how he knows how to articulate what sucks. Yeah and culture really well Right. Yeah what sucks and something louis has that about like interpersonal relationships, you know, he just it was That's right. Because rapaport is too much for him. He's too. He's like, you know, you're like you're fucking punt you're hurting me He's like I didn't hurt you. Yeah, he's like, you know, you don't get to tell me That that didn't hurt and it's like everyone knows those situations. Yes, so you really don't see it Uh, you know portrayed television and movies reminds me of a topic. I'd like to discuss anyways, uh Any the great any threw together this supercut from the uh from the rap report episode. It's it's pretty fucking hilarious Michael rap reports here everybody. Thanks for having me. Thanks for coming in the dog bark. She's a fan too

Ha ha ha ha I is Like hearing you talking, you know, you know, you know as an act as a persona instead of like, you know You know, you know, you know as you know, you know I don't know you know, but you know, like, you know, so you know whatever the fuck knows it. You know, um But you know, like, you know, is I make a lot of noises You said I'm from the city. Yeah, right water and like concrete. Yeah, I'm gonna get a fucking Ha ha ha ha ha ha

You know, you know, you know, because it was so you know, you know, you know, and you know in different versions of you know, uh You're uh, we throw on your cans for one second. I want to uh, uh those right there I just wanted to I just feel like you can't can you hear are they coming through? Yeah I think somebody peed on the floor throw them on one more time. Sorry. I got a couple This oh, I mean, I saw this Grab your headphones. Grab your headphones. That's why you can't hear, um Wait, wait, wait, there's more coming. There's more coming Yeah, but if push comes to shove and I have to make a choice

Boom, boom, you know what? Well here throw these on throw those cans on. What are you like, uh, like some like I've never taken I've never taken what's the point in that pool. That's dope. Yeah, you know, and I feel like Good work any Did you know? Oh my how crazy it was making me when he kept taking his headphones off I am very aware. You were yeah, I mean I was fucking losing my mind When he took him off, I was like inside. I was like, god damn it every time I was like, yeah, could you do that? Could you put him on again? Because also I would cue something up. I'd be like all right. Let's watch this. He'd be like, okay. I'll go

Well, you have to hear it That was so funny. I noticed that he would take them on and off but he's just you know, he's Moves around he's an active guy. Yeah Yeah So anyways people keep making memes Like uh photo shops and songs Honoring fed smoker, of course. Um and Tony aka fart simpson who has done so many songs and prank calls. He sent

This song That he made uh For fed smoker. Great. What's up there chomo? I'm uh called peterson retired ci double agents from the braska state So you ever need teeth told you come and see me What a rush like yourself on fire like you're green on fire You're feathering this shit I am a saint. Can you feel me? I'm a saint Oh, you know what you're fired, bud

It's the highest of calibers of fire bombs and explosives, okay, fuck face Tom toddler returned. He didn't pass proto buddy. You're done. I'm a master. What I do is there's no faking trickery in this Take it easy. Fuck it. That's all day and all night. It never goes on record. Never three corner Fucking asshole Wow, you know what we should do a hawaii mh water salute. Yeah a true salute. Let's toast Let's feather it in heaven brother feather it. Don't you dare break proto? Oh fart simpson dot bandcamp dot com great work. I mean he's got great calls. He's got original songs

It's it's really fun stuff, man. Um, this will probably uh blow your tits off. Yeah We Were convinced that there was no way we were going to see any more piss spots Can I tell you I've been really into piss spots and I'm I'm excited to hear what uh episode three is gonna look like Well, that's the surprise Yeah Well, no because we've had two and I'm hoping that there is an episode three What

You explained it. I think uh tom was trying to uh, uh play it up as a surprise. Oh And uh, sorry didn't pick up on it. No, that's cool. That's cool. That's cool I tune out sometimes very excited. Oh, okay. I I've watched this and well to to make it clear to people When the last time we were examining Piss spots, we learned that two had been uploaded and then he didn't post in eight months. So we made the assumption that um that he was On an iron vacation

um, perhaps mandatory Mandated by the state if you will and then we got the gift Of an all new episode Of piss spots. All right. So sorry. I ruined the surprise I hope nobody's upset any cliffhangers or spoiler alerts in the year All right You guys actually like I really ruined this for people

What are you gonna play the damn episode? I'm enjoying this because me Oh never mind All right, we got we got it set. I'm we're I'm rusting the camera on uh an old ramen noodle cup episode three um, I'm gonna review a uh A uh piss spot. I gotta piss so bad here. It's so bad our blood ice Uh bottle right here. All right

Right away I'm gonna tell you that piss spots take a whole new direction in episode three because we're not in a vehicle and I think it's probably better for him but You know doing it in his room. I mean, is that a piss spot? It is for him but But I'm saying like you're what you're saying is the premise of the show was set up in episode one and two where he's like I'm gonna rate. I'm at the seawall. I'm at the corner of this thing on a highway These are piss spots so that you as the viewer

Can access them and I'll I'll write I hear it's like when anthony bourdain would do episodes on new york city And you're like that's kind of cheating because you live there. Yeah. Yeah, so right away. All right. Well, but it's interesting Panipack All right, next is the belt. I can't afford a new belt my belt broke. I got a uh bungee cord A bungee cord bad idea for us ass to couch Oh my god, holy shit. All right today's uh spot my bedroom. Oh fuck All right, whoo Yeah, we all right. This is out. She's job one. We're good

Oh, shit, I got it all over my fucking boxes. All right. Um, so let me show you Very clear It's a good it's a good boss spot. So is my bedroom What kind of wall is this behind him? Is that a Oh, yeah Closet or uh, I thought it was like those curtain flaps at first. You know He's got some trash on his bed. It looks like some debris He's trying to tell me that the piss spots guy doesn't have a squeaky clean

Living situation. This is weird Holy shit, good piss. All right. Um That was amazing. All right, so we got uh episode three reviewing the blood uh, blood ice bottle Great. It's great. Uh small hole, right? There's a small hole there So, um, I would say if you're gonna use a a bottle or a can or whatever What a small hole. Um, it's not necessarily the size of your dick um, the accuracy relies and

The destination of your piss stream So you have to be able to get the piss in the hole It has nothing to do with putting your head in the hole, which I think is a big misconception That's a that's actually pretty important. Yeah Is there There's play that last clip again. You will see something on the right side After he shows the mouth of it So, um, I would say if you're gonna use a bottle or a can or whatever with a small hole

Um The destination of your piss stream, so there's piss In the hole it has nothing to do with putting your head in the hole. That's great. That's great. So I would say if you have skill All right, you know what maybe maybe my ratings my future ratings should be based off skill levels I would say skill level Um Two I would say yeah, this is probably like a two or three. I've pissed in harder

harder holes in this Pretty cool. Well, what is neat about this show is that at first piss spots was just about the spots And now we're talking about technique How does one pee inside of which containers things of that nature now just to be clear here He's saying you don't mash your dick head into the opening. You just shoot the stream You aim a stream. Is that correct now? That's me would lend a lot of times people will see a lot of times guys will Will be like hey piss in this and if it's if the opening is small Another a guy will be like how am I supposed to

Fit my dick head in that's what I'm thinking and he's saying like hey, what are you a fucking idiot, right? That's that's how a stupid person thinks right because you're not fucking the hole. You're just peeing in it So use you know, he's like just all you got to do is aim So he's you know, I mean he's he's attacking the logic of it's got a Mash it in. Yeah, but but allow me to retort y'all is that My theory is this version of a piss Pissing container if you if you miss the stream and the thing won't you piss around the sides and get piss on your hands? It sounds to me like you're just getting piss on your hands

If you even mess up for a little bit, it's dangerous sounds like you gave joey something to counter with Yeah, we'll see we'll see here. Um Like I said, okay I just got uh, I just got piss on the floor. That's all right. We use this taco bell bag and we'll fucking waper up There you go This is this is nostalgia for me, dude. I got mom and mom and stepdad merch from christmas Oh, dude Dude, it's good. It's a good spot. It's uh, it's home. It makes me feel home. It makes you feel comfortable. You are home

I don't feel uh uncomfortable pissing in this area. Um, it makes me feel like I'm home. You are home I'm nostalgic for where I lived you live there now It's a good point and also if we're going to do a home episode Why not piss in the toilet? That would be a neat piss spot to see as well Don't you think Like to see where the master hones his craft If you will I think he's really anti-toilet I think if you were proposed that he might fucking just smash his head against the wall

He's like, yeah, you stupid bitch. You don't get it. You don't get it And you have to fucking understand anything. The whole thing is like you do it where you're seated already Oh at the convenience, you don't go over there That ruins piss spots. You're here, but to me this seems more difficult Than just pissing in a toilet. I correct me if I'm wrong. Oh, no, you're right. It's a lot more energy effort a lot more Yeah, I mean like I said though the whole thing about Even being in a something other than a car is really changing this whole show. I mean I don't know if the producers all agreed to this or what but it's it's really a new direction

Um, I would say yeah, yeah, yeah, no, there's no intrusion. There's no outs there's no outside Uh people that will uh intrude on your review of the area. Yep. Yep. And finally a final ranking It's an old piss bottle too. We gotta hold that as it's ferment. I have for a fermentation process going Different weeks different. Anyways, um, yeah, so Bottles, I would say four to five for the bodice bottle For the spot. I would give it an eight out of nine. Yeah

What's our ranking system? Yeah You go at episode one and two I remember one of those places had a five out of 10. He goes it was one ranking Five out of 10 piss bottles I give to this place. Yeah, then the next episode he had like a five out of five I'm like, what happened to the 10 now? We're four out of five on this eight out of 10 on that There needs to be the whole commission's going to come down on you You know if you don't have an agreed upon ranking system I agree tom. It is confusing the viewer

The rules need to be concise and clear. I mean this feels to me like like honestly like shady boxing judges You know and then they this guy's scorecard was you're like, how are you even watching the fight? Like this whole thing you that's the part you need to revisit joey The whole concept is brilliant piss spots is going to be a hit But we need to get the ranking system clear Can I tell you how stupid I am? I actually really enjoy piss spots. I'm starting to get into this show and I wish it were a network series it kind of makes you

Wish that some people would get their shot on network tv I know You mean to tell me this isn't any better than some of the piece of shit shows. They're airing Um, you realize, you know, we discovered last night that we thought one of our go-to shows was back and we missed two seasons of it I feel like such a failure. I know I'm like, what why have we not kept up on love after lock up Yeah, we fucking last night we go to look we've missed two seasons. We got obsessed with that show And we talked about it on podcast a bunch We're like the the concept of that show the premise is that somebody starts dating somebody

In prison and then when the person gets released from prison, there's a new reality, right? And the cameras follow them around and you get to see like, oh, this is way different than the previous arrangement Where I didn't have to deal with you in person There was fascinating drama and ridiculous stories and it was all the while dramatic and hilarious And then We're like, oh, there's a there's a new season Season five and we're like, wait a minute Did we miss season four?

Well, there were all new crowdcats all new people. Oh wait, we missed season three So we have uh three seasons of a show to catch up on. I'm so disappointed in us too It's like we're our where are our priorities now as a married couple. That's all we we really got invested in this show It's like what the fuck are we doing with our lives? It was it was super super depressing. Well, I was bummed out I'll tell you No, I wanted to share my big revelation when I was sick last week. Yeah I had the flu so bad. I had a fever for two days. I was really wrecked and

I uh, I made this decision. I had this epiphany. Yeah, is that I think I'm going to start going to doctors now when I don't feel well Because it's huge because I went to the doctor our doctor dick. Yeah, share a doc He's so good. He's great. I by the time I got home two hours later I felt right as rain, man And I was like why I should probably go to the doctor more like I'm gonna do this now is a regular you've always been like that So oh, I'm such an idiot for years. I'm like, no, I don't need to do that And I would be like I'm sick. I'm going to the doctors. You're like, why yeah, because I'm sick

I saw it as personal failure to go to a doctor. It's an admission that you're weak and you need We need medicine or something cry, baby. And then now now I'm really on board It's like it's like I figured out to towel dry myself. This is just another thing in my evolution of Of piss spots. It's like I finally it's like I'm entering the land of adulthood. It's so weird Like step back and you look at those two things. Yeah, I'm using towels now And I'm gonna see doctors now when I'm sick. Do you feel like that you have been in like an r-worded Kind of which word is that tom and your is do you feel like your word? Are you referring to are you like are you like radical? Yeah, you're like I was the r-word. Yeah now

I'm breaking out of that. Yes. I feel like I've because I've always suspected that I'm a space alien And then shit like that just confirms it like oh, yeah I am Something's different like I legit have problems and then I'm like, oh, yeah, that's true. I'm a fucking loser And then I not a loser, but I'm a weirdo. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like definitely. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm serious I'm really into this thing now of like every time I feel bad. I'm gonna go and just get medicine and it helps so much It does help. Dude. I was better like right away Um, I may even get physicals regularly now. I saw this. It's they're really amazing physicals are great

Right, everybody should get physicals. I know I feel like especially because I'm over 40. I'm like afraid now You need to do the yearly checkup So I saw this in passing Um on twitter over the weekend. I'm so glad It caught your attention as well um Because this this is what america is about ingenuity rewarding people that take risks and do things

You know, I mean, um, this is what we live in an entrepreneurial society And uh, you just got to go for it if you want something to happen It's been a wild week I want to thank everybody that has joined my OnlyFans page There's now more than 1000 people that have signed up that Is such a blessing to me

Now if you're interested in seeing my OnlyFans you can certainly sign up I would appreciate that because that's where all the really good stuff is the stuff. I don't post on twitter Oh, and I I'm still looking for volunteers, but please you need to be in new orleans I don't want guys flying in from all kinds of places just to come fuck this old lady that that's not appropriate. I don't think I don't know where she draws her lines She's in new orleans And if you are over the age of 35, then I would love to have you come over and we'll

Do our thing and we'll record it Record it and so you have to be okay being on camera Now if you need to have a pillowcase or something over your head, it's okay with me. That's just fine. It's terrifying. I'm easy And a special shout out to billy My billy What are you doing that do you think she has teeth? Yeah, they're in there all of them. You don't need them all Okay, so I'll bite first of all

What kind of content is granny putting out sucking and fucking just straight up that's kind of vanilla in today's climate When you're 68 that is kind of special that is delaying isn't it? Yeah, that's a niche Yeah, so but I find it odd that her one boundary is is location location location. You're not in new orleans I'm not having yet. I think I get it. Why because from just having shot like sketches and stuff You don't really want to deal with the hassle of somebody being like the thing got delayed You know where I should stay is it better to come at this time? Which the high should I read travel the whole travel thing. So she's like be local

Come over here pump me. It's so crazy. Yeah Can we give her a shout out? Do you know her her handle? Yeah, her twitter handle is terry town gal terry, how do you spell terry t e r r y town gal terry town gal town cat. Wow. No spaces. No underscores. All right. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that where she was like, uh It got retweeted like one of them like 40 000 times No, a different one where she was like Just uh, if you're looking to volunteer to fuck me, you know, I was like, Jesus Uh, but yeah, she seems like a really nice. Let me see. So she'll do it for free is what she's saying

I think no, you're signing up to see it and paying She'll yeah, I think if you you know the videos to make are free Is what she's saying and then she'll put it up behind the paywall. You you're not getting paid to fuck her Right, but she's getting paid to show it. Gotcha So is that a different one there? Is that the same one? It's a different one. No, this one hasn't well I mean, she puts up a lot of a lot of content one of them had thousands and thousands of tweets uh retweets and Yeah, that's not it. I think it might have been the one where she was first announcing it. It was

It had substantial Okay, which one of you guys is going for it who would do oh potter potter. Yeah potter. Would you let her make you come? She's got the secretly I'm slightly below the age requirements that she put out there So I gotta wait another year or two Uh, I mean we could forge something Yeah, she's not gonna she's gonna check your paperwork, bro. How about we get you two new Orleans? Let's make this happen and we'll just lie and say he's local Yeah, hey, dude, if we go to new Orleans

Could that be it that might be it. Let's see that. Whoa. Let's see that one. Is that her slot? Oh, yeah start that over Okay, here we go. Good morning I just had my first volunteer come over and I posted two videos One blowjob one fucking On on my fans. Yeah, if you'd like to volunteer Let me know Okay, so

So potter it's uh, how does it is it a monthly fee? Is that what that uh There's only fans. Is it like a once a month fee? Uh, well the way that only fans works is you can pay a monthly subscription But then there's also you could have locked content in the dm so that you can tip, you know, maybe $15 $20 and then you unlock the content So in the in the one video that we first played she goes I now I have a thousand so she could be making like some real scratch Right now. Hell yeah. I mean, I don't know what her monthly, uh rate is

I mean we could click and see but uh, you know some they like to have the monthly subscription low To incentivize you to tip for the extra content, you know, and then that's a real money But what's like what's like a low monthly fee like Some of the pros do like $3.99. Yeah, okay, so that's real low But then, you know, you could do $20 a month and then you're just getting the whole kitten caboodle right on the feed Got you. Okay, but even if it were that that's at least an extra four grand now Yeah, what she's doing here is she's using her twitter to solicit Uh volunteers to be in content with her right and then she takes she films it

And then she takes it to the only fans and then people her subscribers get to watch her suck and fuck Strangers, yeah, whoever not a bad business model and kind of exciting if you think of what you actually do Not bad. Would I sleep with it? Here's uh, my concerns. I think I could Uh, how I mean, I've never slept with a lady of this age. Uh, what's the like? Lube factor. I mean, is it gonna be just a rough go down there? Well, here's the thing. There's no way she doesn't have She's a pro. She's got a lube up, right? I mean, yeah, of course But I do women this age get naturally wet still I think not because she's after menopause and she can't get wet after that

Well, you dry up from what I understand your hormones and stuff, you know, it all fluctuates and you kind of yeah, you dry up So she puts lube and I think she might have gray pubes or maybe no pubes So how does a woman like this experience uh orgasm though lube? Orgasm you just wouldn't need lubricant and you just go over there with a little wd 40 on your Dingley. Yeah, you really gotta wax up. Yeah, you really do now What if this is the secret what if this is what makes you finish? I don't think it will be but it'll be fun to try Yeah, it would be weird. Uh, I mean She's like not my grandma's what if it like would be what if you it out?

It unleashes like this animal in you. I'm scared that it could unlock a fetish I don't want to know about you know, I could be like I need my grandma Give me a where there's original and suck my dick like you immediately pull the hair Squat over her face and she's like, oh my And you're like, I didn't know that was in me. You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you The grandma fantasy, you know, what's so fascinating about her is her matter of fact uh request delivery Well, I think that's you would like to come over and fuck, you know, yeah, or I'll give you a blow job

Well, she isn't a need of content. She needs to make content. I think that real unprofessional like non-savviness to what we're seeing is what is attracting The you know, I mean, I know what you're saying. It's um, what's that? What's that called on the on the porn amateur amateur? It's amateur, but it's like it's it's not just that she's an amateur It's like she's authentically Not savvy at the social media at probably at making porn

And I think people are fascinated by that aspect and can I tell you uh, it's not necessarily this age demographic But that's the most fun thing about only fans and like porn today is when like a normal girl is doing it Yeah, I get that and I I think that's what is her the key to her success here She is just like a granny looking lady. That's her house. She looks like she's crocheting as she's talking to you And it's real the other thing that concerns me is the old lady's smell. I'm looking at her now and like could that be a thing? I'm not disparaging her her vagina or just just like, you know, how old people smell like yeah, like they're dying I I am concerned about that. I think she's not old enough for that. She's 68. Yeah, I don't think that I think that smell that you're talking

That's a real thing. I think it's older. Okay. That's like death bed smell. I think 80s, you know Wait, wait, but doesn't that come from their mouths that old smell? What if I mean could it come from their vaginas also conceivably? But I'm saying like like dad mouth That's a real thing that we've discovered and that happens when you're when you become a dad and yeah, you get dad gums and Dad tongues. I also would be I would be triggered by her perfume if it was awful too. So I would make sure work all this out

I will. Yeah. No, of course. I'm doing it in my mind as I speak. How would you be affected by the world being able to see you? Oh, yeah, um, I don't know that I would be the star. I think they would just see my penis which is fine And uh, they'd see her doing whatever like she said you can wear a sack over your head or something like that We all know those shoulders though. You can't yeah, that's true I'd have to get some shoulder pillowcases over That's true. I am very Well, I guess that's uh, it comes with the territory. Yeah, you're in the business. Yeah, so plus you're already a sex worker So I don't know. I wouldn't need a cut. You know, I can't oh, yeah

You'd be driving sales up people would be you know, I mean going to see you Oh like a crossover event kind of thing like well now wait a minute. Can't you do a collaboration much like youtubers do Well, they there are a lot of uh sex workers out there that collaborate But oftentimes, you know, these things are negotiated if you talk to her and we did like Like some real promos for your porn on here I bet you got to clean up dude, uh Not to throw it in a tangent. Uh, when we go to vegas, alexis fox wants to be in one of my uh sex works I don't uh, who's that she's a porn star and she wants to be in one of your videos

Yeah, she wants to collaborate on a sex work Uh piece that I had a shoulder hair porn. You're gonna you guys are gonna do a shoulder hair one together. Yeah Jesus She doesn't have any but she's you know, I have it so I'm gonna bring that to the table. Yeah, we thought it was hot It's fun. Yeah, I can't wait. She's gonna be like, ooh that shoulder hair turns me on whatever however She wants to whatever she wants to bring to the table. Wow. Sorry. I digress. I don't think granny's titties are that bad though No, they're good. I was gonna say actually she's got a uh, she's like hot for a granny Her neck looks good too. Usually the neck gets real old and the titties right her skin looks great. She looks fine

I've seen some granny porn that uh, you know, she she looks way better than Yeah, yeah, she's done good. Her hair looks nice Now your parents don't smell bad like you're mom's old. She didn't smell. She doesn't have the old dead smell yet You know what I think that dead smell is I think it's when they like old folks homes when they pee in their beds and someone's not cleaning cleaning them Yeah, I think it's a lack of hygiene And dad mouth dad mouth is real everybody's dad's mouth smells like shit. It's something about their skin You know when it gets all like crusty and translucent and stuff it starts to smell weird

That's true. The crust definitely, but she doesn't look she looks like she moisturizes. Yeah, she's got them big old titties Yeah, definitely. Um, joshua, where can people See you. Oh, I'm going to be in uh, Sacramento april second through fourth. I'm gonna be in uh, Huntsville, alabama may 12th Nashville may 13th and uh, I'm gonna be in chicago on may 20th. It's great man. Those are great. Great city is great gigs Yeah, so uh, go to my twitter and Buy some fucking tickets great great Uh, jane, you'll really like this. This is uh from tori. I don't know if you can uh

See exactly what's going on here, but tori In a public toilet Oh His neighbors really struggling Gotta hurt so bad How what We've all had it. Everybody has heard this at one point. I always hear it at the lax bathroom. Yeah women are always like Really crying and farting and pissing and shitting. I think it's the travel

Yeah, like travel dumps, you know, yeah travel dumps will do it hemorrhoids will do it This is terrible. Really spicy food will do it. Yeah, that's that's pretty bad last night. You had stomach problems from eating sugar Oh my god, but did you brown because I've been no I've been pretty sugar-free. We went out to dinner with friends Fuck man, and then you insisted on dessert And I was like, all right. All right, and then I I took I don't know too many bites And then immediately like I had been away from it for a while. Oh man Pains I was like, oh fuck. I'm sitting there in bed And I go this, you know, it's uncomfortable, but I'm tired. I fall asleep at four o'clock in the morning

I wake up in the same discomfort Burping gas. Yeah, I just felt horrible. I felt horrible. It's terrible. It's crazy that it That it can be just that like a few bites of something with an ingredient that makes you I made made me feel terrible Made me feel terrible Yeah, but it didn't go quite like this. I've had I've had that Oh, everyone's had I think our whole staff has had that kind of a painful Hot dump

How is um, god damn. I didn't know this. There's a charo song What? Oh Yeah There so let me set this up So our favorite Singer Kyle C. Kyle C is of course famous for the song Okay, so that's those freaking needles, you know, yeah, that's the guy

Kyle C and okay So, uh, he did something really cool. Uh, first of all, he's been sending us a lot of stuff Oh, okay But this is one that I thought was worth sharing was he gave us just the vocal track of a new song Uh, that he's saying about charo's fart Oh, and so I think you know with the combination of some of our very talented fans This could be the next, you know club banger, you know And it's real special and this is this is the the lyrics only

It's a great way to listen to music Okay, here we go You're by far the queen of farts You're by far The queen of farts farts farts farts farts Churros churros churros to give us funds one of those lump farts give us funds one of those lump farts because they're amazing They're amazing You're by far

The queen of farts You're by far The queen of farts farts farts farts farts It's pretty good, man. I like how he said charo charo charo. You need some churros churros churros. It's nice. It's good those Calculated pauses. Yep. I think if someone can really play with that. That's uh, I'm really good actual Good song if you take a stab at it Please when you email us at your mom's podcast at gmail and the subject line put charo fart kyle c remix So we know what we're listening to and looking for it. Wow

You know your parents came to tampon to visit me on valentine's day And uh, so the fans got to meet top dog. Yeah, how was that? It was amazing He was so happy and some people even asked him to tell them blonde jokes And it was so special and he did and he was so lovely. He was so happy. Yeah, and they were great Your mom got ripped. I get I got them a nice bottle of champers. Yeah, she got Ripped bro. It was really fun. Cool. She had a good time. Yeah, she was pretty drunk. I remember that I talked to you that night super super hammer. Like people like me And uh, yeah, they do enjoy meeting me. They did

Um And people were like going up to charo and taking her picture and complimenting her on her fart video Yeah, and she really liked that too. That's pretty great. Um gene gene. Oh, where are you gonna be? March 7th here in pasadena at the ice house two shows. I think they're almost sold out. So get on it Then I do miami improv and then I go to addison addison improv That's in dallas, texas caroline's comedy club in judork titties Des Moines, iowa at the funny bone new west minster of british columbia as a house of comedy Fartnix, arizona at stand-up live cleveland, ohio at hilarities and then san antonio tejas at the lol comedy club tickets at christina

Is that your lol? I will be in Las vegas march 6 and 7th at the mirage um in las vegas terry feitor theater Then I will be in let's see I will be in Yes, harrah's resort in valley center california april 18th um, I have some spanish shows in tejas

dallas houston austin san antonio in april back to the mirage may 29th and 30th Then I go to west palm beach at the improv june 5th and 6 miami on the 7th and then i'm back at the mirage july 17th and 18th just added atlantic city That is august 5th at the borgata in atlantic city. That's august 5th And then one more time the mirage in october very excited to be playing there Tickets are at tomcigura.com

Tor Before we break here's that one fed smoker tribute that came in from rainbow by rainbow vhs check this one out With a hole in my heart and a burn on my head I was mid feather when i learned he was dead This jug in hand and a cold yellow top with every no proto a romance broken heart That smoker meth took her just a bright eyed joker He's tracking down chomos for a wide mage promos and sometimes a star burns too bright

The feather angels was tonight Double agents live hard their hearts can't explode This double agent went down at the side of the road First thing out here's when the pearly gate closes you can share my cloud if your twat smells like roses That smoker meth took her just a bright eyed joker He's tracking down chomos for a wide mage promos and sometimes a star burns too bright If ever angels wings tonight Sometimes a star burns too bright

If ever angels wings tonight We're gonna miss you fed smoker. That was beautiful. Yep, I'll be back We're rolling so you have to save your hgh stories for next time so I see that your muscles aren't growing. Um, it has been way too long way too long since An og guest of ours the tony hinge lift the roast master Um lieutenant. Yeah, I guess so. I'm an under under ranking uh Militant official. I saw jeff jeff did great on that tnt roast the other day. It was like they had one professional Yeah, I didn't get to see it, but that's what I heard. Oh, I didn't see that. Who was roasting?

I saw that they roasted he roasted the um the the guys that host the show shack ernie johnson Kenny smith and charles barkley and they had a panel, you know, they did like a mini roast and um I just saw clips. I saw clips and everybody but what I saw was that everybody was like jeff I was like, yeah, he's done it a few times. Yeah. Well, tony you're killer too. I love your jokes I roasted I roasted the this where art the difference between me and jeff's career. I roasted uh the General manager of the comedy store who's leaving after four years. I roasted him two weeks ago Jody barton. He is moving on to a filmmaking career. Really? Yeah, I mean they put on a little Roast in the main room of the comedy store after the show ended. So a lot of were you close with jody?

Pretty close. I mean, I'm close like everybody there. You know, I'm always there doing the podcast and this and that and crazy stuff So I love how the comedy store invites people to stuff They're always like if you heard about it, you know, if not too bad Yeah, they don't have time for that. They don't ever you're lucky that you're on that thing Not a lot of people get those invites. No, I didn't get invited. I'm saying that's what I'm saying I didn't get if I would like to have been invited That's what I'm saying. Well, tom gets invited. He doesn't tell you about it I got invited. God damn it

I got invited I get secret texts and stuff and messages from them. They're like, we have some pretty cool things going on. You're invited to all of them Thanks Please don't tell anyone else. Your jokes are very funny and we're talking about my husband getting a vasectomy Yes, and I can't wait for it. You want to do that too? Oh, yeah, vasectomy is the way to go And you can just pound pound pound and pound and you can just let it go wherever you want not wherever you Sure, you can full mount full mount. You can just dump and just look left and then

Dump and trump dupe Unleaded premium Absolutely, but it's going to be a little different because there's no swimmers in there. What will the consistency be the same? It'll be the same because you're you're confusing where the seminal fluid is made with sperm and all you're all you're cutting out is sperm So it's the same size loads. Really? Yep, because your loads are hefty. That's what I'm all about. I mean, that's how I got here I know Rends in the family. Do you have big loads too? Or are we talking about the size of loads because I'll tell you I'm honestly, I would put my load size up there with anybody

What you want to have maybe we should do this on the air at tom tom versus tony load competition I would do it. Let's go in the bathroom and everyone dispose of their loads could be the new uh weight loss challenge Hashtag who came more? Wow, I didn't loads of fun with tom and tony. We could have one of those um mesh podcasts every week And everybody's doing Here's what I got but see with you tony I would venture that your loads weren't as healthy only because I'm aware of your eating habits and you eat like once a week You're not a big eater. That's not true. You got it all wrong. I just look like I eat once a week

I eat like I'm like I'm like the joey chestnuts of the comedy scene Like I can eat and eat and eat and I don't gain anyway I'm like a hot dog eating have you ever gone for like like a like a day where you're like or a week We're like, I'm gonna go fucking crazy this week. Like yeah pancakes every day. What do you eat? I so much you guys would be shocked to know tell us like what did you eat yesterday? So, uh, okay yesterday um Oh yesterday, I had a bow which is a dumpling place So much so much dumplings like I eat until I feel sick. I eat

I eat as much as a couple would eat really. Yeah your capacity is is high It's ridiculous. It's it's it's unbelievable and I get I might get a big belly just for like my metabolism So fast or like how I'm built is so crazy That when I eat I get this little like Ethiopian sick boy guts. Yeah, so cute and then 30 minutes later It just goes back in just a six pack see but okay, but here's what I'm wondering Is it what you said that just that thing you'll never see on your body I Six pack

But do you think that his idea of what a lot of food is like, you know how like hot girls on instagram? I love it. Sorry. Bye. No, you don't One thing you guys don't know is how much I love food. They don't they don't they'll be holding like two chicken nugget I'm daft Food's my favorite. Yeah, it's not their favorite. It's not you don't like food. You dumb twat Such a liar. They only do it to prove that they don't have eating disorders. Yeah. Yeah, they're trying to counter that Like when you're like, oh, you need to eat they're like, what are you talking about? Oh, does it all I do is I water I ice

I cow that's what anorexics say so but what do you think a normal like okay? Let's say there's a pizza that gets delivered here It's like eight slices. How many of those slices do you eat? Well, if if there was only one pizza and you guys know this is just for you you're sitting down I can Before being honest, I'll eat the entire pizza. By the way, I just want to point out a very thoughtful response Uh, is how he started he was like, well, there's people. Well, that's an illusion. He's Pretending to be thoughtful

Tony come on people get it twisted just because I make fun of people and roast people Yeah, I share you. We love you. I share pizza and then I'm incredibly mean to the people around me Do you think you eat more than red band? No, well Actually, it's pretty close You probably shared a lot of meals, right? You guys definitely Definitely, it's just the quality of food and the times that we eat are very good Do you guys have a similar metabolism? You guys have a similar build like is it do you guys eat the same?

No, he eats in bed a lot Uh, he like he and he's proud of it too. It seems like y'all instagram just dropping food all over And his dogs in bed. Oh, oh, it's unreal what he like puts out there. He ate poo poo one time. Yes. He did Top 10 moment on ymh last year. He was eating a girl's butt and then he said he tasted something and then He realized it was her turd that came in their mouth. Oh, and then he said he put it back in her butthole Oh, yeah, that's sounds like it could be part of his act. This is probably the closer This is his brand Does that make sense you can push a turd back into a butthole we all know that that makes the most sense

It's so impossible. It's like putting water back in a faucet Right. You know, I never thought of that logically because it's like getting the toothpaste back in eat. You don't I've never thought well, then he said that he smeared his lips all over but there's brown all over, you know Well, she's a nice girl though. She's a real nice girl. Sweet girl. Yeah, sweet girl No butts about it. Um, have you ever licked a brown? Do you do you eat butt? Uh, yeah, I mean, why not? Absolutely if you're in the mood and uh, the lighting is right, you know what I mean I wouldn't do it under like on a dentist chair. You know what I mean with like bright lights or anything like that I don't want to see anything and I don't want to smell anything give a little

You know, you got to pretend you guys don't have you've never done that I've done it. He's licked my booty, but I won't lick his booty. Right, right I mean, don't you feel like that's normal to not want to lick a man's hairy ass? I guess so maybe he's hairy Maybe you should try you guys probably have like a nice like one of those big luxury stand-in showers now, right? You guys live in that good life. You guys don't have a regulation-sized tub shower That's true. You guys are wildly successful and you have a This sliding door or like one of those swinging doors that is first of all, you're correct on both fronts

And also it's a perfect time to talk about the manscape perfect package 3.0 Yes, you could trim your ball, taint and asshole hair You got the 3.0. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but he's right. We do we could we could make it nice and clean down there Right. Yeah, but that it's no it's listen. Let's stop with stop This point is even if you put soap on your dirt whistle and you soap it up and you wash it off It's still an area that is riddled with bacteria And the moments right after you clean it I didn't hear you saying this about your asshole that he likes my asshole

Is clean. It's his hairiness and his bigness and his I hear his dumps through the wall every morning. Tony the wall Yeah, you guys got to get some of this sound proof You guys have extra. We do not hear it through the wall every day of my life. Did not hear it today Tommy you sat there. You were like, what happened? How'd it go? It was normal. It was a normal dump. It was not I hear it all the time. It was a normal dump today. I don't think so. Why do you say never normal? What is it sound like? There was no Now because never was going to accuse you of lying because you're lying right now There was nothing. There was no sound today. What is it? Nothing like it?

Does it sound like an episode of two bears one cave in there? But I do I hear you wait a minute. What what what this is how look you're you're fiddling you're fiddling right now You didn't hear anything today. I'll tell you what I didn't hear so much because I was across the room Wait, there was no sound. Can I just ask when you do hear things? No sound today. Okay. I would say but listen Majority of today We're talking about today and you're like you you implied that you heard something but you didn't okay Let me put it this way then you're right. Maybe not every single. Sorry. Okay, that's my case. You're on get okay You got me not every single but however, y'all know

I know when you browned Just by this the sourness in the air after It's sour smelly dumps. How often does your booty hole get licked? No, no, not often. No, I'm yeah, what animal's gonna do that. I'm not I'm It would shock the world to know but I'm not into anything that has to do with my booty at all. Really? Yeah Everybody thinks I'm gay, but I can't even like everybody. Why do they think you're gay? No? I mean not everybody but you know what I mean what like because you have a gay face face the voice the

overall demeanor Jokes about women the way that I dress form-fitting clothes the sports car the overcompensating in many ways Daily facial moisturizer the witch hazel spritz that I like to use before leaving uh the house The gourmet coffee that I get every single day the Music your voice is kind of gay too. Yeah, don't forget your voice. Oh, I mentioned that that was number two Okay, yeah, there's a lot to it. That was a great list. It was very honest my love of penises and men's buttholes But no the the doctor once checked for they were checking me if you were gay my appendix. Yes

Exactly. They're like, all right. You're gonna feel a little something. Tell me if you like it or not Yeah They checked your appendix they well they I guess they thought that perhaps Sometimes appendicitis does this thing where I guess it drops or something like that like out of the normal area And they were checking me for that. So it's the one time I had a uh a finger in my butt And it was I don't know if it's like the doctor just had a girthy finger or something like that. It feels massive, huh? I didn't I was how old are you? I'm 35 dude when you get the regular

I don't know if it's just my doctor but the regular prostate check now that it's not and I'm not exaggerating It is they don't you assume like Well, you know that this isn't I'm not accustomed So you assume like he'll be like I'm gonna be I don't know in my mind. I'm gonna be really gentle with how I do this Checking your prostate is one of the most aggressive aggressive thrusts that I've ever Show me how he does it. Hey. Hey like I was I was yelling back. He was like I'm check I mean he was like all and then he was like, you know really digging down in there. He's trying to like get you off

Bro, this guy's into you. He's a big fan. Well, I was I mean I was that hurt that hurt when he did it I was sore afterwards. So many questions. So he obviously he wears a glove. Yeah And then he looms He spends on his bare hand It is an outrageous amount of lube Good and but does he go in slowly does he start things like you're gonna feel something And then he put I had it in my act for a while that that he because he did do this like you're you're in the You're in the fetal position, right? You're laying on your side. Is this afterwards?

So your knees are up to your chest and you know, you just he's like Just a like a tub of lube and he goes you're gonna feel A little bit of pressure and that is my cock. That's my finger That was funny. That was legit funny And I thought like I don't know for some reason I thought it was gonna be like a fingertip You know, like I I didn't I didn't put together our anatomy and how he would check the prostate So I just feel the the pressure and you're like, oh, it's there thinking like Okay, just count to 10 and this will be over and then he's like

Boom just like you're skating all the way in and more and more it turns out your doctor is denis rodman fingers huge fucking alien fingers And it's it I mean I with every thrust I was like, oh like this this is rape like this felt so so aggressive I came but it was like it was it was after right when I was thinking about it Was there did brown come out for sure? Yeah, yeah, because he he gave me tissues. He's like wipe yourself You should have had red band help push it back up It turns out he's the doctor's assistant Oh my god, it's it is it's I'll tell you if you're not at all

Prepared or used to it is it it was semi traumatic. I don't want it. Yeah. Yeah, because they check women's beetles too Yeah a finger Imagine that big old dong. I imagine I don't I don't like your fingers in there Oh Just imagine I don't like it at all. You want to try it? Nope I'm very sensitive down there. I mean it's so much brown And I don't talk about it. I don't talk about it. You guys ever uh put fingers in each other's butts

He's put a finger in my butt, but I won't put a finger in his butt I've had a finger. It's like there's a lot more giving going on from tom and there is from Oh, yeah No, I do other stuff that I don't get credit for. Yes. This is all true He does Butt stuff. I don't do butt stuff. That's the give and the take. I've enjoyed a finger in there before Many many years ago Who put their finger in your butt the african dirty birdie a dirty birdie did it

The hiv lady We have nicknames for some of the past girls Scaliwags The girl that gave you aids No Are you sure? Yeah, it was her. I know it was her Because you're always he always reminisce about how nasty she was. Oh, let me remember it. Oh, stop

Oh, you remember who it was. Of course he does. Oh, yeah I have to take my take some moment to remember and then it's like oh, yeah But it's so hot in there. His b-hole is so hot and harry. I'm so afraid of it because I've I've grazed and I've joked Right and I and I've touched like every part of his. I mean come on. He's my baby daddy, right So you can't be afraid of the scrum And I imagine that members of his team are going to be spending a lot of time preparing for the next debate Trying to figure out how to, you know, deliver those kinds of concise answers that you need to If you're going to be competitive on those stages, absolutely

You got to be prepared to get in that scrum. Can't be afraid of the scrum. All right, jill. Colden. Thank you so much And I have a scrum. What then you have to get in there. What? Get in there. Get in that scrum. Is that a real word? My scrum is scrum real and we don't know Is it a political term? No a scrum is like a melee like a like a bunch of people. I did not know I thought scrum was just related to gotta be prepared to get in that scrum I I thought we invented scrum. We didn't invent scrum, but the scrum has a yeah There's a number of definitions for scrum. Is it like a sailing term like a pirate term the scrum You gotta lift the scrum. Why is the scrum? In rugby the term scrum is is what they're basically

Adapting here, right? Like all the group together Right, you guys when you are battling scrum that means butthole. Yeah. Yeah, that's how we describe the scrum is like you need to eat my scrum You know, yeah So this inequality that you guys have like he fingers your he's fingered your but it's been a long time before children I've had two episiotomies, which means my taint has been thoroughly cut through childbirth So like dude that line between my vagin my b-hole is pretty Narrow, do you know what I'm saying? Like it's tenuous. It's like the wall between the your bathroom that he pooped Right, so I'm a little

What about just like what about just like kind of taking another step in the Role play kind of fashion, you know set up do something different, you know Yeah, he wants to be the person to pee on me And I want you to do it in front of everybody I know and you know So everybody together knows that I'm your little sissy toilet We're about something like this This guy doesn't have any keys hanging up on his key holder there on the wall

Who has a key holder with no keys? Ah, that's what you took from this This is the weirdest Joker audition tape Oh my god, you know how he must have gotten so like when he announced like I'm a directed Joker movie You know people were like I'm the Joker. Oh, yeah, and just started throwing together their own tapes It's gotta be amazing. Oh, you should see on the talk. There's a lot of Joker wannabes on there and it is terrifying Yeah, I like that. He doesn't have any keys. He doesn't have a car Tony. He doesn't have I'll be even screw dogs I'll be even suck little doggy dick for you Please make me your prison bitch

I like his eye shadow. I like his mouth shadow too. What's going on there? Yeah I'm Jeremy. It's Jeremy. Hi, and you're probably remember me from my last video but I'm Zager's prison bitch and I want to be his little doggy bitch And I want to be his toilet Wow, I didn't realize red band was writing internet videos for people He's got a cool cork board with like things to do is yeah things. I gotta get to make your prison bitch video

That's his vision board. Tom. Yeah Kanye has one of those Please daddy Zager Please call me You know how to get over. Oh shit. Wow He really got that. It's pretty hot. Yeah I want you to pee on my tramp stamp I want you to make me your little sissy prison bitch

Do you get it or not? I feel like it's not clear yet anything I just want to be your little prison bitch. All right But wait a minute. Does he want to suck dog dicks or does he want to be your prison bitch? I'm a little confused on the ask. What do you think? What's going on there? I mean why the dogs aren't allowed in prison. So the right Well, what is it dude? This guy's got a lot going on It's a good way

And he's got his Christmas ornaments still up in the background, which is super weird No magnets on the fridge. No There is a little something on the fridge. Actually, that looks like the that looks like a brand new fridge That looks like the thing that tells you how much energy is being used Most importantly we learned this guy needs keys, man Yes, that's what I took from this the key mystery The key miss he got sissy tramp stamped on him, babe. Yeah Do you mess with like, um, do you ever get like a subscription to any like, you know, porn service or anything like that?

No, no only fans Fans only fans like only fans. What's that like like a um An adult performer can create, um, uh, a site page dedicated To like their own content and you pay them directly It's kind of like it basically came out of the fact that, you know, tube sites Exploded and then they couldn't monetize their things anymore. So now they're taking control of their content and then like you can just Sign up and you know, it's been a wild week

I want to thank everybody that has joined my only fans page There's now more than 1,000 People that have signed up. Oh That is such a blessing to me If you're interested in seeing my only fans, you can certainly sign up I would appreciate that Because that's where all the really good stuff is the stuff. I don't post on twitter Yeah

Oh, and I I'm still looking for volunteers, but please you need to be in new orleans I don't want guys flying in from all kinds of places just to come fuck this old lady. That's not appropriate. I don't think Oh, no, yeah No, and then you shoot this you shoot the scene with her and then she uploads it to her site And you don't oh my goodness. Yeah When are you playing new orleans? Wow That's what's happening. That's what's happening

My goodness. Yeah, she just seems like a nice Old lady right which is the appeal we kind of uncovered is that the normalcy of her Like she genuinely is a grandma who's going to bake you cookies and then put a knitting needle up your butt And she's got a good rack if you look at her rack It's pretty nice right and also you fit the criteria which is and so if you're in new orleans And if you are over the age of 35, oh, I would love to have you come over actually and we'll Do a thing and we'll record it. Okay. Yeah, that's it. I feel like she's talking directly to you have to be okay being on camera I am now if you need to have a pillowcase or something over your head. It's okay with me. That's just fine

I'm easy My special shout out To billy Billy Even billy who probably bought a ticket to new orleans paid right all that He needs to feel a little dirty when he gets a shout out like yeah Oh, jeez. That's a little too much. Do you think she has teeth or not? That's the big debate. I do. I really do I think what do you think tony? I think uh when she wakes up in the morning. She probably doesn't

I'm gonna be asleep with those things in speaking. Uh lord knows she'll swallow him On By habit Turn speaking nice older ladies. How's joy? Well, no, but that's what a perfect segue She's one of the all-time great people who don't know if you just start listening to show One or two or even five years ago. You don't know that one of like the like I consider The the pinnacle moments was we had you we talked to you you told us about your outrageous Childhood and upbringing and how your mother

Uh was a bookie. Yeah, and I was like what and then we got her on the phone And we kind of role played one time about like what happens when somebody Doesn't have the money to pay you what they owe you and she switched back into bookie mode so fast Do you remember her famous phrase very famous line tom said, uh, you know joy and she's a sweet old lady and he goes You know she's in it because your money's always do tuesday, right? They're trying to get you to bet on saturday on sunday, and then they want you to bet on monday night football So she goes we always leave, you know mondays are open You can bet on that game. So all money is due tuesday. You have to pay on tuesday. Yeah, you know, so

What if I can't pay I said well look I can't pay you. Yeah I don't have it right now, but what'll happen is i'll get it to you by wednesday and then and then she said There's no such thing as wednesday. That's right But with that with like a media pause in between there was this Three seconds that she was power on the phone. I go. All right. I'm playing the guy and I was like I go, but I'll get it to you by wednesday and it was just silence There's no such thing as wednesday. Yeah, wow

I was like fuck. I felt it in my I felt it in my heart I did too. And that's like some of the closest I've been to it in a long time I was raised on it just a norm that being a normal thing and numbers and this and that Ohio and pa and all these things you'd hear because of the Lotteries and the bedding and this and all the normal terminology but to hear her switch back into that It was like like that like somebody hit a hit a switch on on the light, you know, I was like, whoa There's no such thing. It's existential. It's like, oh my god And I love the sopranos and good fellas and all that old school stuff, but there's something about uh

A night a lady that you just heard laughing and giggling and saying, I love you guys You guys are the best you guys crack me up and then the switch she switched And I remember like even though I was like role playing with her immediately. I was like, yep, I'll have it for you Yeah, he actually paid her on Tuesday. I did. I was like I haven't even placed a bet but here's some money Well, she and I were on facebook for a minute emailing just back and forth passing through town or you know She's a sweet lady. She really is and she's got nothing going on She's 73 and as retired as it gets she'll hit up anybody. Why don't you ever start an only fan? She might my my assumption about this this lady. I know we we did some dig she's 68

I think she probably just like recently retired was like, you know, it would be nice to have some extra income Yeah, you know those thin lips making the money Look at those little flatbreads crazy to think I think the guy with blue eyes had more lipstick on them Guys she charges 12.99 a month. That's a lot. I didn't realize that and she has over a thousand new subscribers And do you have to tip her to see this The content she has 1600 subscribers. Do the math. Tom. What's that math? I'll tell the math in my head. Hold on one second Uh tick tick tick tick tick. Hold on. I'm still calculating in my head $13. It's $20,784

So let me ask you this is how many videos how many videos do you think she puts out a month? I don't know. She said come over. I'll second fuck you and we'll put up. Yeah Did these guys wear condoms with her? We don't know. There's a way we could know if you'd go to new orleans for us I'll buy you a plane ticket. Can't we get a membership for like a day and just do some research? We sure can Let's do it and go for it. Go ahead and use the company card for that one And um share the password just for our own Yeah Educational she's got great traps on her. Look at the yoel remaro like uh trapezoids up there

She seems like a really sweet lady though. Totally. So wait. So uh joy is just chilling in retirement. She's doing great Yeah, she's killing it. She comes out sees me whenever uh whenever i'm around town She's doing great the roof cave den recently. That was a big deal. Oh, yeah There was a little snow storm over the winter and the roof cave den But that's like exciting for her because they have nothing going on. I mean Nothing she just lives this life of uh the newspaper guy's 15 minutes late today. Yeah, wow That's like a story But don't you feel like now would be a great time to pick up that bookie thing again

Like she would fly so under the radar. Who's gonna suspect? Yeah, sweet old lady. She's okay You know, she's got shoeboxes filled with cash underneath her bed. She's as happy as she's loved. Okay. She did it She's out. She's all the way out. Did you ever um, I don't know if like if you're being exposed to it young Did you ever gamble afterwards like as an adult not really my thing? No, uh, I bet on um A few of my favorite fighters if i'm in vegas and i'm walking by the sports book place on my way to Work, you know, sit with joe or whatever, you know, if I if i'm going with him to an event That's the only time i've done it too, man I grew up like a sports kind of you know, super fan. I love sports and

I never had the bug for which i'm thankful for but i've only bet when i'm in vegas walking by the sports book And I go like, oh, I guess so and i'm and even that i'm not good at it Like I i'll i'll know everything about the Game and the teams but the bet is set up in a way where i'm like, oh I mean it's amazing. I bet one time on a huge spread um And you know, it came down to it was some ridiculous thing like 30 point and then the team that was getting their ass kicked

Kicked a field goal In the last three seconds so that it you know, I mean that bet would have been covered and then that insignificant three points changed I'm like, how do they fucking even come up with this shit? Yeah, where I lost the bet because of a last minute field goal that had no bearing on the game They're good at that stuff. They really are those people that do that are really good at it Couldn't believe it. Yeah, we went we went back. Uh, I took the whole crew to youngstown, ohio Uh, where i'm originally from the whole killtony like main crew me red band jeremiah and jolhamenez And we ate at my father's italian restaurant joey. Yeah, huge fans. It's still around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and uh

He went back in the kitchen made us an unbelievable meal. I mean it was so good People's eyes were watering at like how unbelievable this italian food was And we sat around that night because I never Have you know, I haven't brought people that I work with there ever in my life So it was an exciting thing and we drank wine and Him and his girlfriend told us the most unbelievable stories I have to wait until they literally are no longer with us to repeat any of these stories Something to look forward to in the future is the stories that i'm gonna get to tell you one day

I literally have to wait until these days As chill as it gets very 70s also. Yeah, sort of just waiting for everything that you know mellow out um But yeah, maybe yeah Yeah, it's just incredible to see these talk to him like openly about everything Do you ask him the questions you all you really want to ask and stuff or yeah? Yeah, and there's a lot that he tells me now. It's really interesting. He told the whole crew That happens the guys um in that stage of life because my dad changed to

In the last couple years with uh war stories. Yep, you know like vietnam stuff and he used to be like Kind of like would just be like, yeah And you know and that was terrible to go through and or you know just like kind of very surface level stuff Right, you're like, I guess that's the story. Yeah, and then this time every time I see him now another story another story Yeah, this time and then and what happens is like, I think they also some of it They want to share some of it it helps them get it off their chest Because they go I've been holding on to this fucking story. Yeah, and it makes me feel better to share it with someone the stories he was telling me were

so much cooler than parts of Sopranos irishman good fellows. Yeah, I mean I could go through the whole thing. It's absolutely ridiculous I would look over even I was Surprised at times and I'd look over and I'd see Jeremiah Red Band Joel's face is just like and they'd look at me and just start cracking up Immediately because they're realizing that this is real. Yeah, right priceless moments, but does that on some level? Bother you that that's your dad and your dad's done activities that aren't exactly

You know I'm raised around it and especially there in that city. There was so much of that young growing up. Yeah And it's just back in the 80s and the early 90s. That was everything even today Uh, I woke up in the head top of CNN is Trump pardoning Edward de Bartolo Jr. Who got convicted of? Um Fraud of some kind he pardoned him. Yeah, I didn't see that

But I don't even think he's in prison, but he just like cleared it off his record or whatever And for some reason it's at the top of the mainstream news, which I love to check just to see what morons are absorbing and yet for their news But that's a that's a one of the main guys from youngstown the de Bartolo's Uh, basically created the not created but really spread the shopping mall throughout the country, right? And so they they would go to major cities and be like you need a shopping mall And they're like what and they're like put all the stores on one thing. It brings everybody together. Just do it We'll do it. We'll do it. It's about family with us. Yeah, even about the money

Exactly And what's interesting is youngstown also has and had especially had because they just infiltrated the country the kafaros And the kafaros built strip malls So like places where you see a building where there's multiple businesses in but it's still sort of outside That wasn't always just a thing Not every city just had that where it's like oh instead of paying rent to just people that want to live in an apartment Let's have companies pay rent. That was the kafaros and the de Bartolo's and they're both Italian youngstown families

And they're always on the up and up Make sure they get permission to do everything They go did you check the local governance on this particular thing? We want to make sure it's signed off on but isn't this fascinating that crime has built so much of america if you look at cocaine built miami essentially the drug lords right you look at Uh show business which in the beginning was built by What's a jews right the jews started show business criminals mafia jewish mafia starts show business on the east coast and they bring it to the west coast like

scumbags Founded a lot of this country in a way Not that your family's scumbag. I love you pointed at that window over there about the jews He's our resident jew. There's just a german guy looking back like yes. They did do that It was the jews now i'm gonna dov we talk about this right? Uh, I mean that sounds right. I'm not a hundred percent sure like who started it, but i mean that's the jews On the east coast it came here. Yeah, i don't know if it was mr. Goldstein or something But it was probably one of them actually yeah, I mean I know that um the lawyers that the hollywood hollywood

was considered a You know a kind of despicable business So when you know now you see movie making and all it's glamor everyone wants to get in but back then it was not desirable So it was it was kind of like a you know Sort of a criminal adjacent element to be involved in Sort of dirty. It was like only fans.com. It was like only fans. Yeah It was like only fans. Is that is there is not even a dot-com. I sound like an old man It's not even there might be I don't even know though. I don't even know the terminal is there it is dot-com

Yeah, okay. There you go. You did it, right? We're gonna get you that so yeah Same thing with banking for sure banking was considered like a filthy business to be involved in and they were like You guys can do it. It's gross and then banking became Profitable and desirable everyone's like hey. Hey. Hey. Hey wait wait. We'd like to be involved in that too Yeah, that works. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know how about the mall making business I think that actually took a major turn down, right? The malls were like floating and that's what's crazy is they went and did it in the 70s 80s and 90s So it's not even they just did it. They went everywhere city to city just kept going west. Hey, you know what you could use

a mall Frickin shopping mall You got the orange juice place a chicken place Come on get it together. Put a big chess board in the middle. Everybody go play with big pieces With the modellos hey do most they went on to buy the san francisco 49ers He won five super bowl championships there. That's probably what he's best known for sure They all keep low profiles too like the fact that the debaralos and the kafaros aren't super famous for their mall development All these really successful people are really good at sort of keeping a low profile. Yeah, I guess you can work

You can make an effort to do that I think you put the you put the effort into being well known or being not well known It's kind of you know, it's a guy like that from columbus the lex lex wexner guy The victoria's secret guy like that's his san francisco 49ers, right? Yeah, he's sort of known for that But you look into that guy. I mean, what's the name of the guy that owns the nuggets? That's a fascinating guy You got the haircut. No, that's mark davis The raiders. That's all I know is that haircut guy. No, fuck. I'm thinking wait scroll down again scroll down

um I'm thinking of 133 million dollar ranch that guy. I'm thinking of a different guy. It is but he's a colorado based guy How do you make a ranch a hundred and thirty three million? Well, do you see what bezos bought? Thing Bezos just bought the most expensive residential property ever here in los angeles over the weekend Is a hundred and sixty five million dollar house Is it the uh, I think I might know what this is. It was uh, it was uh, was it castenbergs or um

Yeah, but this is location location. It was geffen's house. This is what bel air or it's barely. Yeah, so the I mean What's it called? I think I know this well. It's not just location. No, but in addition to the actual Scope and scale but then he bought the neighbor's house. Oh man for 90 million just so that he doesn't he's like don't put Are you serious? Oh It's amazing. It's like that way. There's like we know who's there It's crazy No, but what I was thinking about was the um the guy who owns It's it's more about um, it's unbelievable put to put in who owns the broadmoor

in It's in colorado. This guy is like one of the richest guy and he won't do any press He's done like two interviews and fucking that guy philip unshulted. Yeah philip anshultz. Yeah, so type put in his name and okay This guy does Fucking like he won't do if you ask him a question. He's done like a few interviews and if you go like

You know, what about what made you buy start this business? He'll be like I want to talk about it and they're like, all right um Wow So are you gonna build that hotel? He's like, yeah I don't really want to talk about that either I like great great um

Go back start with the image. Just go to the results Uh, it's got tiny eyes this guy It's overcompensating for the tiny eyes What what company does he own? He does have tiny eyes That's really funny. He owns He got oil railroads telecom real estate. He owns the and he owns the kings a third of the makers He owns the staple center. Jesus christ. Yeah, and no, you do you know his name? Like have you ever heard like what's his net worth? He is the owner of Coachella

Christ the word philip also has two tiny eyes in it 10 billion dollars Wow, and this dude goes out of his way to not be kind of basically not be talked about Smart so it's kind of that's his net worth from 2015. It's probably That guy uses skittles his sunglasses Tiny eyes i'm not letting it go You could be a get up 10 billion dollars

Tiny hey, can you look at those tiny eyes uses dental floss is a blindfold pull up philip anchilt's eyes Looks like those tiny eyes. You got a point. Let's see. Oh fuck. I thought it was an article about his tiny eyes Look at that. He does have a big like an eye space and they're close together too. He's almost a tiny eyed cyclops Oh, he's smiling there. Oh well He's got does he have the old white guy at the veneers that guy just asked him if he could borrow 10 bucks. That's why he's laughing If I had tiny eyes like that, I'd probably work my way up to being billionaire as well. Yeah From your tiny eyes. Yeah

I would get I think did you follow Fed smokers demise. Do you know what happened? What's that? You don't you didn't follow a fed smoker? No, you're not mourning the death of fed smoker. I don't know what you're talking about all of america is in uk Seriously, do you know that kobe died? Yeah, okay So Here i'll i'll just pull this up for you. It's like jesus. We're just kind of disrespectful It is kind of like surprising. Um, all right, so fed

catchy Okay, he should wear big glasses to magnify those tiny eyes. It would even out his face Absolutely, he should also Get his nose Brought down a couple of times. Oh, I'm sorry. This is the wrong. Sorry. Sorry and mouth and ears and the rest of his face Brought down. Hey, are you state patrol? Uh, what's your name? What is it?

And who's your captain the captain out here? Yeah, you're captain Dark steel. I just had a shit. So that's that's fed smoker the one asking the question. Uh, I mean Trying to give you a little Once again, if you're not a scurvy ass bitch with a dirty twat You have a good opportunity of coming here to live and clean this house Okay, leave all your inquiries and information on this site If you're not scurvy and your twat smells like roses Give me a holla

So pro wrestler energies. Yeah, he does. He has great energy great vibes all around Um star quality. I think you mean Tony. Yeah, he does cool. This is hurtster hair beauty I want you to take When you're feathering it brother, you gotta get a good drip on it. He's cutting his hair with fire. He didn't get a feather that shit Okay, you gotta get it going bud You know what I mean? Gotta get her hot too

Now that's that's real motherfuckers to light yourself on fire light your brain on fire You mean this guy passed away somehow great. Yeah, how did he pass away? We don't know but It's been like it's been rough The last few weeks. I think he lit his brain on fire with meth too much Yeah, yeah, it was it came as a huge surprise. I mean, we were just kind of getting into some of his classic vids Well, the coroner's report said natural causes and by natural Yeah, everything was everything was kind of meth related. I thought he was just from the little bit I've seen of him here. I thought he was perhaps getting his life on track

He had a bicycle with a water bottle in the chamber there. Yeah, that's usually the sign of a healthy guy too That guy's got keys. He had a bunch of keys. Yeah um Yeah, he uh, I mean natural causes Yeah, he was found on the side of the road. Oh, totally natural causes for a moment. What is this place anyways? What is this place? Um, you don't need to film me. Oh, I I'm new to documentary. This is here. I don't care. I don't want to be born

This is america. You dumb son of a bitch, okay? You dumb son of a bitch. I'm a private person and I don't want to be filmed I'm a fucking america and you're a stupid fuck. I can ask you anything I want He was cool like that. He would always just like engage people Um, he would just walk up and say hi start a conversation with anyone, you know It was pretty rare to me. I can tell you know any time I want. You're gonna fucking baby raper on your face, okay cocksucker Baby raper. You're the one who looks like a baby raper. Baby raper. Would you escape from jail? What's up there chomo? Listen here. What do you guys how do you get a job here to fuck face? I'm not by talking like that. Oh, you know what? You're fired, bud. No, I'm not

He just had him. He had improv skills I love this guy. Yeah, we did that's what I'm saying so he died about a week ago and It has been there's a huge hole in our hearts, you know And then there was probably a huge hole in his heart Turns out um, I like this guy and I have the same mustache. I like yeah, yeah, you would have been called out as a chomo Yeah, that's me old child rapey Tony

Um So From what was it 435? Damn, that's a while ago. We actually played this lady. We call we used to call her the Consider her the female fed smoker, right? This is the first time We uh played her I don't have to give that to you You just hit my vehicle man your drivers license you pulled right out in front of me

Yeah, and when someone pulls in front of you because there's an emergency You slow your rear end down and you stop Okay, just like a cool If you ever had someone have an emergency These are not cars in front of you. These are not cars. They don't stop on a dime. It doesn't matter You have to be far enough behind. You know what? I'm gonna tell you the whole you should have picked up my trash big boy Oh She's fun. It's what you ordered. You little twerp. I know what I ordered. Okay, and you're gonna pay

How much is her monthly membership on uh only fans? You like your job? You like it? You like it? Yeah, well good luck cause you ain't gonna have it. Pass the day baby It's firing people so she yeah, so they both they both have that star quality. Yeah of like one of their trademarks It's like they're finishing move or something. I can control whether you work. I'm firing. That's so true. She controls the workforce She is very powerful. We think she's back In another clip. Oh, that's yeah, that's what I mistakenly. This is

I'm just trying to help you. I'm sorry, but I don't need your help. Yes. You do motherfucker You do you do need my help sir. Can't you see that you son of a bitch? Could you please just let me check out my groceries? Fuck you. I'm trying to help you motherfucker Oh First of all, I love that with the truck driver. She's like you might get your rear end in line And how she's like, I'm helping you you motherfucker. Dumb son of a bitch. Yeah, not only does double messaging She seemed the same in both videos. I feel like the guy the victim is the same now He's that like a walmart went from driving a truck. Maybe he really did get fired from his job

Now she's all sinners. Okay. He's not gonna force you to do it. You're sinning right now. No, I'm not mother fucker You fucking accuser get the fuck out of here. You fucking accuser You mother fucking accuser Get the fuck out of here. Now those are fed smoker vibes You motherfucker, she really enunciates motherfucker. I like she says motherfucker like it's nothing and accuser like it's a swear word That's so true. Oh, wow. That's a great observation. Yeah. Now. What are you gonna? Guess here drugs or mental illness. What are you going with? Oh, that's that's that's mental illness. You think so? Yeah, for sure. No, not drugs. Could it be

Drugs exacerbated by existing mental illness. I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna throw some kerosene on that mental illness fire I'm gonna go amphetamines and mental illness. Tony Yeah, I could see that I could see uh, perhaps a weight loss drug uh type of thing like some type of requiem for a dream type of Like Adderall or that fucking it's just kind of getting you fucking fired up. Yeah, exactly Like you're fucking accuser You mother fucking accuser Accuser of the fucking brethren you mother

Whoa Oh Those eyes are Yeah, look at that. She's got like billionaire owner eyes now. Oh, yeah She's got her tiny eyes. Yeah. God. That looks like vego from ghostbusters, too Because he won't what? He won't repent. He won't repent. So I'm pissed because he won't repent. She said that like super chill Yes, ma'am

Like it makes sense like you're telling a teacher like well, she took my ball. So I'm just asking her to give it back Isn't it wild that like so many of these videos because I love these things right public freak out on reddit is that's basically my daily news and I just love how many of them take place in actual stores now Like to actually go into an actual physical store now. You're already pretty much crazy. Well, think about it Think about like that's why jeff bezos is buying the Beverly hillbillies mansion

If you have like your shit kind of together, you're like, why would I walk into a store? I'll just press this on my phone and everything will come here. Yeah, so you got to be like now It's indicative that you really are Kind of fucked up that you're walking into a store because you should be able to just get whatever's there Without going in. Yeah If you're patient now the bottom feeders are in the store It's so truly unemployed the crazies during the day. You can't have you must not have common sense If you're going into a physical store

The wildest thing to me is because I live near a couple grocery stores like in the heart of the city All right, and I'll see people loading in cases of water and like paper towels like all the big things What are you doing? Yeah, you have to you're carrying the water. Are you your own amazon delivery driver? Just have it delivered have heavy shit. I know and the big stuff the big thing a toilet paper aren't I mean Don't you have any you can even ask. Hey, could you bring that in? Thanks, man? Yeah, I'm set it down Now, however, I do enjoy a target run. I must say there is something still fun and satisfying and I believe that's where she is That's exactly what happens. I do like to go there And I want to say I think this is walmart

I think it is walmart for sure walmart you hear a lot of those Hellfire brimstone repent a lot of those things. It's kind of the walmart slogan, right? Yeah Hellfire brimstone repent Rinse and repent He said Yes, that's not target. They don't have those signs up there with the sections. They're not wearing red, babe Clearly. Oh, that's you. Yeah, they're wearing blue. Yeah. Okay. Is that walmart blue? That reminds me of the walmart blue right? The way she says mother

Motherfucker Is that that's catchy. Yeah, she just got done watching like dola might Put no mustard on this when I say mother This guy's like Oh, he's like my regional manager's coming by today. I know this bitch Shit That's a big ass store. Mm-hmm. It's yeah You know what they did at our target, which was very interesting. I don't know if you noticed last time you were in there

They changed all the like the the billboards with the clothing to be models with down syndrome I didn't know it's true in the children's. Are you serious? I promise you in my children's section of the boys department It the model was a down syndrome boy wearing the fashion and it was all in the children's section And I was like, I'm not sure like what's the Because I didn't see any down. It wasn't like a particularly down syndrome community that I was shopping in Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like there wasn't downs towns Is that I don't know

Is that too much down? See here they are. This is what I'm talking about. It was let me tell you why this is unacceptable. Yeah Okay, once once we open the floodgates of just letting these downsy people Take these jobs like this It it is going to first of all First of all other people That are have down syndrome don't even like recognize that that person has down syndrome So it's not like oh a hero for our like a recognition because that's what I'm saying

Like maybe if there were a lot of why would they recognize they just see they don't see it They see normalcy. They don't have a downs people don't see downs. They just see It's like the outsider on HBO. Have you seen that swear? No It's hard to explain. Wait. What do you mean? You don't think so? My point is they're not like, oh, that's a hero. That's our that's our rosa parks You know may breaking boundaries for us the only registers. Uh-uh. No, definitely doesn't register Have you ever talked with anyone with Down syndrome? I have. Yeah. Oh, okay But I think they know I think they know when somebody else has Down syndrome and then you think so and they're like that's my

My peer my peep. Yeah, like a gay guy looks at Tony's like that guy's They just know Ah That guy's gay Um, because I did have this thought like when I was in the target and I saw that I was like, oh my god If I buy these clothes will just make my children Right, you know exactly. We'll see if this lady went up in first. Is it a chicken or an egg situation? Right and should I buy these clothes? Is that does the does the does the shirt make my kid's face look flat?

I don't give a shit Me Oh, no, don't slam her. This is the weird part. You know, she's gonna resist Yeah Those are the crazier people by the way the ones clapping are the craziest They're actually trying to provoke her more as she's getting. Yeah, she's obviously mentally. She's fine I'm sorry. She's just trying to spread the good work. She's hungry. You know you're getting when you're hungry I know

Fuckers That's how I get every time I get hungry. Yeah All right Um Yo before we go, um One of your past Uh killtony comics, uh murdered somebody. No, that's not exactly the verbiage that I would use on this It's uh, allegedly because that could be confused with maybe a guest or a regular or something like that. One of your co-hosts. Someone know

One of your founding members of the show So your best friend who was on killtony one time. Yeah No, so a guy because for people that don't know let's just set this up correctly killtony very popular podcast You do it at the comedy store and what ends up happening is and we travel with and you travel with it and it does very well there But uh, and you release it as a podcast Um and on youtube when you when you go to the live show what happens is uh, tony Hosts it. Um a guest comedian will sit with you and then people sign up Basically like you would an open mic and you're getting to perform to a full house

and in front of professional comedians And anything can happen. Um a new it's always that you know, these are newer People doing it stand up for the first time. Yeah the eighth time sometimes it's someone that has been doing it You know 15 years trying to get exposure trying to get a big break people are getting signed and Making deals getting spots on shows getting managers and agents out of there now and they do what a minute When they start 60 seconds, so that's that is like tough. It's tough a lot of And then I interview them for like right five to eight minutes sort of feel more about them You can feel how cool or funny someone is during that part. It's a fun really fun show

But that in that minute anything can happen People bomb people kill people do so so but just to like set up what the show is. Yeah like 75 to 120 People sign up before the show And they don't know if they're getting up or not and all the names go in a bucket They sign up they turn in a typical episode what six seven people get up probably yeah something like that So a guy who was one of those people once got his name called and performed on the show. Yeah Um, this was about a two months ago or so. Okay. He did this. How did he do when he said not good at all Not good at all. He did one of the worst things you could do which is like

Try to just take shots at me and red ban and uh the ban sort of like he was just sort of like really negative like this guy Oh, look at this red bands like morning radio over there on the sound effects. Yeah, I got nothing. You got yeah So over the weekend he allegedly murdered his girlfriend his ex-girlfriend. Yeah Drew Carey's ex and Drew Carey's ex-girlfriend. Oh, wow She was a sex therapist. Yeah with like a following and um, geez. Yeah. I mean it was uh, it was on the news He pushed off a third floor balcony passed away And immediately People started when they when they released the guy's name and

Picture it just immediately he it was correlated with kill tony. They found out immediately Like I guess it was one of the first things that popped up so and Yeah, so he was up there Scary stuff because if you go to red bands twitter feed. Yeah, he's he's promoting the hell out of this thing He's just he just thinks uh, he's a public relations guru So what's great is that I love it. I'll I'll let him handle all that bad press stuff He's been just accepting every interview that comes through scroll down go to the actual

There's a there's a feed of um like a video below Um word like it's embedded of him His performance. No, no, no of of red band on the news. Oh, yeah, it might be at the very top I didn't think it was there because Because it he just he was just on everything. Yeah this past 24 hours. I saw him NBC CBS This is like his um, okay. We'll scroll up. Maybe we can

It was like an embedded video like that when I saw it What's that one Well, I guess click on the one any of the ones with her picture click on that and see if it goes to the video Oh, is this it? The comedy star oh no Oh man. Oh my life By the way, let me say we've pulled over 3000 names out of this bucket in this show's history And only one person has murdered someone before so I just want to say like is that good. Is that a good statistic?

I think it's a good good pretty good ratio One out of 3000. It's not bad. So I'm assuming he's in he's in custody now, right? Yeah. Yeah, they got him two million dollars if you scroll yeah scroll to like the middle and uh Oh, yeah, go ahead and press play here. It's pretty too. There it is This is video of purse house during a comedy show last month The man who runs the show says he had never met purse house But when he heard his name connected to the therapist's death, watch this is gold. Have you seen this?

I put you together and I was like wait a second This guy was on our show just a couple weeks ago and I remembered feeling like this guy It was something off with this guy. He had a very weird energy I love it. Cut to the cut to the clip of red man saying that he's pushing poop Weird I had a weird energy about him. I pushed the shit back into her butthole We got to cut that together. Yeah, for sure Oh Oh my god, that Brian is very photogenic. Have you noticed that?

Um, no, I actually I don't really I think he photographs and he's on camera. He looks great on camera. Yeah in person. You're like, yeah I'm like this guy's homeless, but on television The camera doesn't show it at all Oh, he looks he always looks good. Um, all right Uh, tony where there's kill tony every week. Where can people see you live right now? Where are you going to be? A bunch of fun things coming up here. We just announced miami yesterday coming up and uh, Where else? Uh, yeah, it's fun. Tacoma

Um, we're in vancouver doing kill tony this uh, friday and swansea massachusetts It's a big one that's right between providence and boston next week and then i'm doing boston in like a month And uh, other fun stuff too. It's tony hinchcliff.com go to tonyhinchcliff.com if you're in youngstown go to joey restaurant Get a nice italian meal do it pay your fucking debts on tuesdays and um Yeah, man, it was it was so fun to have you back here again. So good. Thank you Come back soon. So much fun. We love you. You guys are hilarious. Thanks, man. We love you. There's no such thing as wednesday

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