Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 547 - Chris D'Elia - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: April 15, 2020

We know all about NRE but how about some ORE?? Tom has learned how much he truly loves disapproval during a massage. All of the celebrities are doing totally normal videos to calm us down during COVID-19. “Before The 90 Days” has a groundbreaking revelation and where do you stand on hairy legs?? Josh Potter joins the Mommies to tell them all about one of the coolest guys he’s ever heard about, Peter Nygard. Plus, they discuss how Josh can save the world. Chris Delia is a stand up comedian and host of the podcast “Congratulations.” Chris’s newest Netflix Special “No Pain” is available right now right now right now. How did Chris learn to be all “IDGAF?” Plus Chris loves TikTok as much as Christina so the Mommies go DEEEEEP on the Tok to blow Chris’s mind SPONSORS: - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code MOM20 at Manscaped.com. - Go to WHOOP.com and enter “YOURMOM” at checkout to save 15%. - Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play. - Go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in MOM for a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment.

Hello, my Polly people this episode is for us and us only How few chomos are having a good time out there? Are you following proto? Are you following proto washing your hands wash your hands and your anus? You know what I love about being a Polly what is just blowing people's minds when we walk down the street Did he just kiss her? And then he kissed her? Yeah, that's what we do man. It's not that weird. Yeah, it's Christ. How many girlfriends do you have right now? I have a few in like I have three in person. I have six on line. Wow

That's a lot. Yeah, when will I get like slow low doses of NRE from all of them? Yeah Yeah, that that that NRE is just oh man, you know when you start when you start dating someone And then the thing is that NRE fades and that's when you know, it's time to move on It's the way I approach it. I agree and that's what all the wisest people do Chris. Do you have NRE right now? No, I don't got any NRE no And you native Well, I mean just I feel like I'm feeding off of your guys's relationship energy. It might not be new

So maybe oh, are you know all relationship energy? Tom and I definitely have ORE. Yeah, I mean we the disrespect I get daily with the farts and the browns and All your things. Yeah Yeah, I do that for you. I Do that for you, but that's how I show love, you know, what's interesting you pointed out to me the other day What's that is that how I I? Search I like disapproval. Yes, and it's you know, it's so fascinating Okay, so I was wired differently. We're a hundred percent because I'm wired for approval seeking

Yeah, so the other night I was being wife quarantine wife of the century and Because we can't have we can't go get massages. I gave you a massage. It was amazing during 90-day fiance before the 90 days our favorite new program Mm-hmm, and I was putting you in a state of bliss of NRE and and you came out of it and you go You start laughing I go, what are you laughing at and what was it that you were laughing at? I was thinking about how it would be fun to set up like a Hidden camera thing in a in a place and bring my mother To that place like let's say a restaurant and hire actors to be like oh you're that fart lady like and have them one by one

Be like that was amazing. I've never heard anything like that So and like you know I mean like and just have like a little kid do it like you fart loud And then have an old lady do it and you know I mean all different types of people and just have her just go I think she's the most humiliating experience of my life like that kind of thing, right? Yeah, so I thought it was a really funny creative good idea But I also thought it was interesting that as your wife was giving you wonderful Pleasurable moment that your mind went to how to make your mother upset well It was giving you so much pleasure and joy

Laughing and I thought that's definitely one for the therapist. Yeah Well, it did it made me laugh it made me happy And I think what happened was you had me so relaxed that my mind was free to right and it went to upsetting your mother Which makes me the happiest and then on Top of that remember we were sitting there after breakfast the other day I showed you that video and you were like Why would you show me why would you show and then I go and then you were but here's the thing you were Disapproving of it and that made me happy. Well, here's the difference. Yeah, I brought you joy

Yeah, I showed you a video a tick tock of a dog being lifted by balloons and I thought oh that I've always had All right, you like check this out. It was really and then when I show you you showed me a video of a lady on a beach that her vagina was exposed and Then I go it flashes to a goat going And he goes is that funny and I go no Because the vagina part was way too long and it was like it's clearly like something dad send to each other And I'm like, this is not met and a dad sent it to me. He's like 55. Yeah It's not meant for me. I'm not the target audience. Yeah, but it was fun to show it to you

And that but but it's interesting because that really is the the distinction between you and me and I I Kind of want to get 10 milligram Tom's mind on it tonight. Okay? Because dude, everybody's liking 10 million. I love 10 milligram. You know what? We fucked up What 10 milligram Tom hasn't done the podcast. He's got to come and do it. He's gonna come do the and then drunk mom How about a yes? Yes. Yeah, I need to get looks like dude Back in business next week cuz yeah, we're gonna do this though. I mean we take turns 10 milligram Tom one week. Yeah sharp name on booze bag pristine in the next week. No, what's my name? Are Bobby and no Trish Trish. Yeah, I drink seven y'all Blanc these days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

All right, let's start the show through the opening clip and get the show rolling. There's a lot to talk about Lots to talk important stuff a lot of the real important topics. Are you ready? What's CNN is not covering? You have a lot of fun things to show you. I can't wait. Let's have fun. Life is too heavy these days. Let's go It's it's almost like breathing in and breathing out in it You don't have to work to listen to it And you don't even have to be listening to hear it. I think it's the voice of the common man soul Oh Who is Randy don't bring anyone loving to this

Um So how old is this clip this week What this just wait no yep, why is his beard so dark? Yeah, it's worth discussing. Oh what? Yeah, no, dude. It is. I thought this is from the 90s. Nope. You're kidding from last Monday. You're kidding. I Mean he looks like he took a marker and marked in that beard like that crazy guy that used to live in the rampart Remember the guy that used to take your beard on yeah, yeah, he went to nice and easy

He went the right even got his nice. He has a dark dark dark beard. He's what is he? He's in his fifties. Yeah Yeah, bro. I mean that beard is it's black He did it in his sink. He's from the Steven's almost six. Oh my god. Yeah, it's the Steven Seagal Hairdressing school. Trish, you know, you know I'm a dude Trisha first I want to do further for the quarantine I'm all I'm a dot myself Instead of having our there our hair guy come over. Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna do it myself Yes, he did that's what a down-to-earth person would do a down-to-earth like it's almost like he's playing the part of

A relatable person when he says things that beard is insane. So he did they did a concert together online From Studio G Garth and Trish Trish. Yes Yes, they did a concert online for their fans Yeah, five million people watched it five million Garth Brooks and his wife Trisha Yearwood gave fans a treat last night a free online concert for those stuck at home More than five million viewed it Doesn't that make you uncomfortable just to watch somebody

Stand there and play that song I used to have an ex-boyfriend who would play the acoustic guitar and sing at me and it made me so Uncomfortable, I think I'm trying to discover more about like what my fascination is with like, you know his weird personality quirks But I think another layer of it is that acoustic singing like that Where somebody looks like they're happy having a good time doing it makes me upset And it makes me uncomfortable it makes me uncomfortable Sonia Jesus, I think it's too earnest. I don't like I don't like expression

Being happening have having happened here and also he said before in the interview Might I backtrack to the first opening clip? Country music is great because you don't have to listen to hear it That makes no sense. Well logically you have to well. Yeah, you're thinking logically He's saying his spirit is what carries it, you know, well, you think that's weird. Just let it get weird He's so amazing and fantastic that you don't even have to listen. You just have to take in his essence feel it Just feel it. Wow. It's a big month for Brooks. We spoke with him earlier this month before social distancing He's being awarded the Gershwin Prize by the Library of Congress which credits him with elevating country music into a national anthem of the

American people Did you throw that in there? So wait a minute It's it's almost like breathing in and breathing out, isn't it you don't have to work to listen to it You don't have to work. You don't even have to be listening to hear it I think it's the voice of the common man soul Not my soul. I am not interested in country music and they're singing I'm a guy. So I'm the last guy that's gonna say size matters, but it does

Brooks says that despite all of that success the lesson in life is that adversity is what makes us stronger and helps us bounce back Is he just the king of all platitudes like adversity makes us stronger and love is the only thing that's real well You're not ready for this next next explanation, but here you go You've got a bow and arrow right the only way that arrow is going to go far at all is it's got to address resistance All right, so for every dreamer out there when you hear no It cannot be done. Just let it keep coming Because once they let go of that arrow all those knows or what's gonna feel you To turn those dreams into reality all the rage

He's that's the raid that's the garth rage that's the last thing you see before he shuts that fucking door on your head Right there. You didn't see all those nose coming Shut the trunk on your head Hey, they um he uh, I posted something last night on his page and They it's like weird. It's not gone, but it had no interactions like they flagged it or something the ghosted it or what? Yeah, yeah, I was I went back to it and I was like, oh, it's like it's just sitting there I don't know if you if I don't know if anybody else can see it Let's see cuz yeah keep on feathering it brother the families need closure G

I know you're following your proto what the families deserve it. It's all a whole white baby all of us I'm gonna figure out highway James Brown Socks to play I'm here now. Yeah, we have destroyed this man My sister went down into the mountain There's a whole white baby in the figure a highway, bro. I never seen no shit like it in my life Thinking of all the families they need closure Please release location of my family So I've recombined I posted cuz you see how happy he is in that picture. I

posted Nothing feels better than a fresh kill They took it away. Oh, they took it away This is amazing, I He's this is my most proud accomplishment Which one the Garth broke shit Garth Garth Garth social media stuff. Yeah Yeah, this is the best. This is the best thing. This is the most happy. I've been

Is when I go to this and I see this stuff. I'm serious. It really makes me know makes me laugh Ledger tongue didn't get stuck in your teeth and made you forget what you were saying. Let's celebrate with soccer suit play This is catching myself. Bye What did you do to Conult keep feathering it brother keep on feathering it Zero out of ten not enough ceiling fans Mark wall ball bar the family's Garth Still healing from the pain of you killing my aunt Sue God damn it Garth let my people go

Why Garth why? It's so fucking funny to me Well, can I tell you what he has? Matthew McConaughey vibes Interesting. Have you been following him on the grumb? Yeah, it's weird a lot of celebrities have been losing their mind on the grumb Alec Baldwin being one of them because his wife just announced their fifth baby is coming into the world See see see look at my my comment there. Nothing feels as good as a fresh. Oh and nobody yeah, and you can't like oh Nobody reacted. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they did they ghosted you bro. They ghosted it

Yeah, but he definitely has Matthew McConaughey vibes where they really believe their own Nonsense, you know like Matthew McConaughey will do a commercial for a car and He doesn't even mention a car driving once remember that commercial we saw where he's like sometimes I just like to sit and think about nature. He's got he's got some Corona messages you want to see I yeah Hey everybody McConaughey here coming at you in these Rough and tumble times a lot of unknown a lot of limbo quarantined

People how to jobs and a lot of kids at home getting cabin feet. Thanks for the uplifting message shit bag Yeah, like why are you? Why are you bumming people out? You know take the time right now first to applaud ourselves Around the world So many people in the towns and cities states Countries Who showed great resilience vigilance courage and we know we know right now time

Is keen we gotta buy more of it? Huh gonna buy more time for the people in the front lines trying to contain this fire Should we buy more time for the scientists you can't buy time? That's the one thing he is losing his mind Losing his fucking not quite like this man I Fuck for kids Jesus Christ he is I mean I'm a fan. He's a really talented actor

I think he's a really really talented stunning and he was a handsome guy before this Well, he is and I'll tell you why though. He and his wife have four children under the age of six She's pregnant with a fifth and they claim not to have a nanny so Tom and I have been working with our two kids for the last dough two weeks and it is Crazy-making so no wonder he is worn down But don't you love that celebrities feel the need to reiterate what everybody already knows like You know what I mean like you think Matthew McConaughey has any more insight than Sanjay Gupta does at this point like where you fucking

It's so gross. He's like yes You just got to stay strong Boy, that's what everyone does to oh my hair How about Brittany doing this time of quarantine, I hope you all are being strong and lifting each other up Thank you, Brittany. Oh, thank you. Don't the celebrities make you feel better though. Oh, thank you Are really her stuff is really really troubling Like that whole voice the look in the eyes Like if that person was I was not known to me and walk up like that

I'd be like hey, hey, hey, hey stand back stand back like you know, what's wrong? I think she's fine. No No Nadav just said yeah that he would not give her change at the freeway off ramp It's rude She does look a little different a little confused. No, she's been on this path. It's really really scary She's very I think something's really really wrong with it. Yeah, she's bipolar at least. Yeah, that's really sad What did Diane Keaton do? And clips behind the ears. She reposted a mark on Spencer's one, but I think you know, anyway, we'll do

Did you think this was Diane Keaton? No, she Got what she looked like Hilarious, I forgot what she looked like I heard that I was like, oh, I didn't know she's also American, right? That I was pretty confused, but I was like, you know what? I haven't seen her in a while. Yeah with that Jack Nicholson movie I was like, you know, maybe she's just a real good I like this idea of using a thong. Yeah, that's good panties work and then there's Ellen DeGeneres. Oh boy Okay Hey, everybody. I decided to do what everybody's doing, which is walk outside

Said it just being inside I Feel like that's not her neighborhood. No, that's my first thought like she was like, all right Let's drive over to this kind of shittier neighborhood. I'll walk around and we drive right back, okay? Yeah, I like everybody I feeling Stir crazy and anxious and wondering what's gonna happen and how long this is gonna last Okay, yeah, I mean again like if you're going to broadcast a thought at least uplift

Try to add to the discussion. How about our boy Rappaport? I love him. All right, the weekend's here You're feeling antsy you're feeling restless. I don't give a fuck The parks are closed the beaches are closed the best use are in effect. Okay stay the fuck You know what I love when he gets all fired up about Trump. He's like Easter's cancelled you fat fuck Easter's cancel. He's so funny. All the hands. Yeah. Yeah. He's so fired up dude. It's hilarious Now that's an uplifting message though Right. Well, you know who else is really kind of this is Celebrities are losing their minds. This is giving me comfort. Yeah in this time right here

Wow, what do you think? Tom, yep, hold my hand. It's my burning This is why you and I are married Yeah, you're my light my love my passion my joy and all my life I have never seen something that fucked up. Yeah, and I see a lot of stuff on the talk I just want to thank you for bringing this into my awareness. I want to thank you for being the father of my children Appreciate it. I didn't even know you could cup male tits for six hours. It's uncomfortable, but you can do it Yeah, Josh will do this, right

Wow Does he have slut written on his stomach? Yeah, and he has mr. Miss Talans cuckold property And he's got pig written on his head and a pig face. I don't know if it's tattooed or with a marker This one's for Drew. How what do you think happened to him as a child that this is happening? Good things This is just you just reliving the past. So you just recreate it Wow Do you see the shimmer in that behind that blur I don't know what I'm seeing

Yes a prince Albert, that's why you see a little thing that's sparkling behind. Oh, yeah, that's the least crazy Yeah, this guy's lifestyle choices. It's all appears dickhead is like that's step one That's how you start along this path put a fucking piercing in my dick That's how he started of course. He's got a broad tattoo and then Stars on his nip nips. I really want to know these are tats if all these are tats. I think so all of them I think slut is yeah, it looks kind of faded

But doesn't look like fresh. This is on I gotta say pig on his head is real nuts if that's how he walks around Pig on your head on your bald head and then a pig snout and he's like, yep, are there avocados here today at the farmer's market Jesus great because there's a limit to what you can do with a fetish like you also you have to be a part of Yeah Right because this is somebody's brother son Uncle hopefully not dad, but could you imagine like oh, there's mr. There's mr. Rickles or whatever Mr. Stevenson's buying

Hey, mr. Stevenson Oh good to see you sir, right like this guy lives in a community where people know who he is I mean and to put it on the internet, I just this is so great Norman Summerton Okay, I have so many questions. Well, what if that was the last thing you saw before a door closed Bye and he's got that Grand on his and he and he was just like do you like my tits? Mr. Summerton. Yeah

Now what would you rather see before the trunk closed? Yeah, you're tied up and you're like Would you rather see Garth being like and there's a bunch of nose out there and he's got to keep dreaming Or this guy who's like do you like my titties and then you shut it in your face. I mean you're looking at What do you like well one's gonna sexually assault you and one is just gonna murder you Yeah, this guy's just gonna put cubs on my titties and no No, he's gonna rape me. I don't know what he's gonna do. I think it's things that we can't imagine Yeah, cuz I couldn't imagine this I didn't know this was a thing. He's not gonna be like I'm gonna fucking jerk off on no No, it's real shit. You don't think about and the problem with Garth is that because of his celebrity status?

He'll never be brought to justice I'll never be yeah, this guy. I know mr. Summerton's gonna get caught in his small I don't know. Look how old he is. He might have been doing some shit for decades now. I choose this creeper We'll never get you'll never how terrifying is G. Yeah, you're choosing this fucking yeah Yeah, this guy well because G will never suffer the law like you'll oh my god, this guy's like Amusing I would laugh at this guy. Look how happy he is actually I know in his face. I know there's no rage in there rage is behind Garth Garth is scarier to me because he's a true psychopath Garth. You can tell is really mimicking what it is to be a person like he just keeps

He does yeah, he doesn't really he doesn't really feel those things. There's no way You gotta take an arrow You know that love it's the common man's anthem. It's all shit that he's heard other people say it's not real true He's a psycho. We were watching 90 that before the 90 days. Yeah, our favorite show. It's the best And we got to see well, there's a couple developments big Ed He had a big he had a big fight with his Girlfriend who's a Filipina I forget her name

And yeah, he's rosemary rosemary. He's 50-something. She's 23 Yeah, and he goes there and there's a scene where they make up and then they she goes back to the hotel with him and He's turns on the the you know the romance So He's like I'm trying to figure out what she likes. He has her take a bath. There they are there She takes a bath puts on a robe. She comes back into the bedroom. He gets on the ground And he has champagne and gives her glass. He starts giving her a foot massage and you can see That her legs are exposed and you can see that she has like a lot of long dark

hair on her legs and You know they don't make mention of it and then the next morning they interview them each separately and they're like so what happened last night. She's like And then they ask him he's like we made love and it was it was great first time in 20 that was the first His shoulders dropped like and then they go

They show them then in bed like kind of laying around and you know, what are we gonna do today? And then he's like hey, why don't you shave your legs? Well, hold on. He's he's craftier than that He works out a quid pro quo. He's like he goes so you don't like my beard, huh? You tell the producer is kind of well, she was saying she he was saying give me a kiss This is how it was. He's like give me a kiss like a little kiss on the she was like no your beard. It's all prickly It hurts me. Yeah, that's how it was. Yeah, you look at me like a kiss and she goes Oh, you're beard. I don't like your beard shave your beard and then he took that opportunity Or like shave your beard. He's like, how about I will shave my beard and you shave your fucking bare legs

Yeah, and you practically did I sat up. I was like cheering Cheered the television because that is your pet peeve. Yeah, is Harry dark hair on on women's legs You and you just funny you brought this up to me when we first started dating one time It's actually another one of those flags that I completely was like that's weird because you were like I Don't forget why how it came up. You're like, God, you know what? I fucking hate and I was like what like Jewish people You're like no you go You go I Fucking hate it when girls only shave their legs up to their knee. God. I just do the whole leg

I was what it was very random and I and I remembered this this is you know 15 years later It is something that's bothered you since the beginning wait was a red flag though. Yeah, cuz I was like, okay I mean, I never heard a man get that fired up over Women that don't shave past the knee. I'm like, all right I mean, I I'm not sweating it cuz I have blonde hair. So you really wouldn't see it. Yeah, so that's kind of what I Why is it a flag though? Cuz it's weird to get that heated. I didn't get that you were you were fired up You don't remember really you were fired up. You were like, I don't fucking it's gross

Okay, so lazy just shave the whole leg. What's the problem? Or don't and just you know put a dick on But you're very you're being very gender normative Here I apologize and I should want to take this time. Let's stop down for a second here I want to address all the ladies out there that are feeling attacked and Slided by me and feel like you know, Tom I don't do I don't care what you like and what you don't like it's fine. It's fine I think these are just you know, people have different tastes right different things and

You don't have to shave for me, you know, you do but they fucking know Well, it is a very controversial Issue in our time because you know, you could be saying that you're imposing whatever Gender thing. Yeah, but look if it doesn't make your dick hard. It doesn't make your dick hard and that's just your thing That's why I'm just being honest about it just for me. I Don't think yeah, I agree. I also don't like armpit hair on a woman I don't either so I shave mine and I shave up my body nice so that you don't leave me in when the children I did I did I did get with a girl once who had that what armpit hair. Oh

Yeah, I was at your African slut. No, it's a mother pig, but she was pretty nasty. Was she foreign? Yeah, I knew it What dark hair? Yeah, it was and you didn't did you say anything? No, cuz I knew I was never gonna talk to her again. Oh my god But I tell you this 90-day show before the 90 days is the best it's great And especially because now I have a whole new respect for these women who are using these donkey American men to come over to this country I mean poor Rosemary. She's 23. Maybe she has a five year old son She lives in the back of like some rinky-dinky. It's terrible postcard shop or something with her sister

It's terrible. It's so sad Yeah, and if I were her I would be on that those sites roping in every dope dope American man and I would be riding their dicks to come to America. You better believe it. I would too. Yeah I'd be I'd be like, hey, do you like full-figured men to be on those sites? Yes Men to bald fat short man like hey, what's up, man? And then whenever American guy I'd be like, can you send me $15 so I can pay six months rent and then Came over I'd be like you like blowjobs. Yeah, that's what I would start with yeah

No, I would take me to your country Wow, I would too and I like that she chose big egg because first of all big Ed's my favorite on the show because he's great He's got a really sweet great personality. He's a great father. He's a loving human being And I mean is the ideal in the looks department? No, but you know, he's gonna be loyal because he's not like And he's sweet. He's really well I would a hundred percent pick big Ed and he's he's a little bit old. He's in his 50s So he's not gonna fuck you like a rag doll. That's another thing. Oh is a little bit lower. Yeah It's not like some 30 year old guy who's like 14 times a day

I'm gonna fill every hole. You better not let one drop hit the ground And then he's got all these rules and he just pounds and pounds that's the problem that trade-off No, you get an older guy like that. He busts one not and he'll be like, yeah So maybe if you want to try again in June, you know He's gonna be fine and he yeah, he might need to take Viagra or something fine So once a week or something you bust not it's suit and Ed's not the kind of guy Who's gonna demand it? He's not gonna he might be like he's gonna get can we make love tonight? And she's like, I don't feel like it but whatever and then he'll move on

Can we just snuggle instead? Oh, stop it. I was doing I do her accent perfect stop Okay, I'll be Ed stop No, ask if you can kiss me may I give you how do I say kiss? To go Can I give you one of those give me the Yeah, kiss on my pussy on your pussy. Yeah Give me money right now and the dollar, but you're my girlfriend Okay, I

Love it. It was super offensive what you just did. Oh wait wait wait and pretty accurate. Yeah, that's how she is She doesn't really look the fact that she speaks any English is amazing because I don't speak a word up to God She learned that in a village. It's amazing. She lives in a really really impoverished place. Oh, I Would be sucking every American dude. All right. We established that already So I would cast a wide-ass net dude. Ah, I want to go to America That's my profile right there And if I lived in the Ukraine or some shit too, I'd be like I would just put my gaping butthole I'd spread my cheeks and be like you want to pound this pound this to America, bitch

Get me out of these horrible countries. Do you put like you have graphics on it your dick here? Asshole goes in an arrow goes to USA you 100% follow the path 100% you said you don't like varia then she makes you mad. I Can sense her desperation varia is the Russian girl who's with this like Kind of simple tin this this simple guy who abuses women. Yeah, he's like the yoked simpleton So yeah, Jeffrey. Yeah, yeah What was that article title? Oh Can you go back like to the original?

It says that what's that top one say why he hasn't responded to what oh? To a domestic abuse claims oops Whoops Yeah, so yeah, he goes over there and he you can smell it though You can smell that something's wrong right away, and you can sense that she is hustling Yeah, you know, I mean she really is she is but at least she's open And I do give credit to my tribe for being open like we don't really bullshit you or like yes They want to go to America. You're going to do is or not?

I also like that now soja boy is flat out Disrespecting we should explain the more detail that there is a Nigerian rapper who goes by the stage name Soja boy, and he's like yeah, it's totally different than soldier boy It's so just exactly soja boy 90-day fiance right there first result Yeah, and there's baby love. Yeah, and there's baby love now He flat out dis is baby love in all of his interviews though He's like I went to come to America and be a big rapper, and she's basically 70% okay, and like

Trashes her She's got listen she literally and I'm not I'm being accurate with this her and I have a similar build okay, it'd be like If you just shave my beard and put a little curly blonde wig on Is that what you think you look like as a trans woman I think so Actually, that's if we could laser off your beard, you know get you hair less Yes, I would look like baby love Lisa baby love. Yeah Oh my god, I think are very similar, and I think we have similar personalities. I think I could score a

fledgling rapper from Nigeria Transition to look at that. Yeah. Oh my god. I don't know. You know, I wonder what is such a big star in He is the best. He's like I just want to come to America and take over Rap and hip-hop. I know but you may have to change your name. No, he's like it's soja boy Soja boy, oh man, but I wonder rapping is like I'll be there for you girl It's like it is some fucking fourth grade shit But I wonder I think Bert has better lyrics. I wonder who would make a prettier lady. You were Bert hmm I

Think you because Bert's teeth are all crazy and different. Yeah. I also have like the kind of pointy nose He's more feminine. If I if I had like some intense liposuction I have like a female feature like a pointy nose, you know, yeah, and when you shave that beard you have nice lips You have nice eyes. I mean your build is ridiculous. I have Lisa's build, you know The difference between Lisa and I is that she doesn't have any shoulders So that's why you notice her gut so much, you know, but I have I have broader shoulders We have the same stomach, but I have broader So that's the difference you would be the ugliest woman and I don't know I mean on the staff here

Oh on the staff think I'm the ugliest. I don't know. Let me think this through. Well, let's let's go through okay, so Chris Beautiful beautiful. Oh Chris already has the hair. He doesn't do anything to his hair. Yeah, he's got shoulder length hair Great hair. He's just tossed it. Yeah, he's got a good build. He's slender and tall Slender tall beautiful eyes. You just shave that moustache. There you go. You shave the mustache the beard whatever Yeah, I think I think Chris and then Chris becomes Christy. It's like real easy I think Chris is easiest transition so far the most beautiful girl that transition now Annie is long and lean

He's another one. But yeah, you know, he has like he has a very like masculine walk So you'd have to retrain like the way he moves. He moves in very masculine ways But again that real lean build you can be like a model. We could put heels on him You know, he's got to give him just small implants give him some nice titty-titty titties, you know the suction cup and then Yeah, I think I think you could you know with some makeup. I think you could really Impress people he could pass and he could pass is like a tall athletic. Yeah, Chris could pass Josh

We'd have to shave him down of course Significantly, but then again, what if Josh wants to be like just a very forward-thinking woman who's like I like my hair, you know I Think Josh would make a pretty girl. You think so. Yeah, I mean we'd have to do a wig We'd have to get rid of the face. I've never seen his full face though because he's I saw pictures of him without the beard I think we could do it and his build is okay He's got a smaller frame which lends itself to being It's better for it's better. Your frame is the worst. So you and a dove

I'd say have the hardest builds now to pass as a female. We touched on this earlier in the dog In all his delusion was like, oh, I think I'd be the most beautiful woman. What are you talking about? Yeah, why do you think think I think my features would translate the easiest out of anyone in the studio Can you run through them? Okay, so I got I got the eyes, right? Yeah, look at this. Okay. Look at these babies I feel like my smile is the most it's probably the warmest smile in the entire I already dress pretty nice. I feel like that translates pretty well sure. I just felt all of it and also I don't know. I like I think me with long hair I just think like I

Think I might have some of the best hair in the studio If I let it actually grow and I straightened it and I Feathered it. I think I would really I'd really take everyone. So what's your running order for most passable beautiful woman? You know top his first place. Yeah, okay. Oh from top to bottom. Okay, so I mean I'm first. Oh my god You're delusional. No, no So I'm first I think It's hard to say between Chris and any who's in second place, but that's second and third right there And he's too tall. I feel okay. No, no, but it's just like there's you'd be like a super mom

Like someone where if you see on the street, you'd be like, I'd never be into that But then you see them with makeup and some photo shop. You're like, God damn. I think that's it Quite a compliment And then Tom second to last Potter's last now tell me what Well, so if if we're if Potter's transitioning Like there's just a lot of maintenance that he needs to stay on top of yeah to keep out of the bottom Yeah, yeah, like how often is he gonna shave his shoulders? How often is he gonna trim? He's gonna get laser treatment though laser removal. Yeah. Yeah, I mean that's what he's gonna do

Right, but I mean like that would take months to transition right right. I would take a while It's like it's like getting a face tattoo removed. It's gonna be years Well, we've got the time God damn this quarantine. I wish we could have a guy come in and make up you guys Why am I second to last? Like why is he worse you think than me Why is he worse than you? Yeah, because I have to do some maintenance and upkeep. He's hairy shit, too Your eyes are better Wow

Wow, that's it, huh? Yep It is this is absurd a dog's logic is completely wrong. Yeah, you can tell absurd. Yeah, it's absurd Well, what about this beautiful woman right here? Oh, she's the price I think the body we need to take you're thinking of your face and I agree of a lovely body You're not gonna pass with that body. There's gonna be some dudes are into this thick into this thick shit, right? They exist that juicy juicy that yeah that lunch if you if you can see it from the front wait till you see it from the back Well, I like your body positive attitude. I think I've been told I have a

Badonk adonk like now, you know, just imagine if I turn into a lady. Look Stay home if you sick come over if you think that's what we're doing All right, well, let's um, let's get our boy out here. Let's do this man. We want to want to get into this next segment All right one second. It's always fun to welcome back to our couch One of our favorites one of your favorites the great hilarious Josh Potter What an appropriate sound for what we'll be talking about tonight, so We've been talking about this Super cool guy for a minute. Yeah

A lot of people I don't feel like he's not in the mainstream really I think well I think this virus was the best thing that ever happened to him, you know, because this story was it's been a real investigation A couple of ladies like really went to town on it They should make a podcast about this investigation, you know, yeah, because it's very layered in all these women You're not one of these women that like flicks their beans to like Crime stuff are you negative? I don't like watching that kind of stuff or really hearing about it So many of them in the world these women that master bait or just enjoy it. Yeah Figuratively yeah, I mean I think because I'm actually concerned that it may happen to me one day

Because women were the ones that do get killed. Well, I've got some reassuring news before we dive into this. This one wouldn't happen to you You are free and clear of this man. Why is that? well, you're Not a teenager first of all second of all you aren't poor and you don't live on a Bahamian island and So there's a couple of things but this guy to get into it. What's his name? His name is Peter Nygaard. Mm-hmm, and we've got a picture of him there if you want to pull it up He is the no you don't want to look at that one first you want there you go. Oh boy. There is that's the one That's the image you should first take in

That's like the play the Hugh Hefner of Winnipeg. This is what he puts out there. Yes This is like he's like this is that's like that would be like You know and a flag outside of his estate Well, he was on a billboard. I don't know that that was the billboard by the way actually now that I because I forwarded this weeks ago And that was the thing that would greet you at the Winnipeg airport. Peter Nygaard welcomes you He was that he's like one of Winnipeg's biggest celebrities And then the other photo is a photo of what he really looks like. Yeah, which is that oh my god a little rougher And what is a v-neck though the v-neck wasn't exaggerated

That is quite the v Yeah, and it's that guy deep like you could teach people letters with that. That is a why neck. Yeah, that's really really deep So wait, what does he do that? He has all this money? Well interesting that you ask he is a fashion designer And uh, he's designed some things you might have seen out in the world as a matter of fact Uh, have you seen him at the Met Gala? Probably not You don't really see these at the soho house either. It's not a place. You're gonna see his line I think it's stuff sold at like walmart, dillers Belks should I pull up some of his stuff? Uh, yeah, let's see. Let's see

Oh Yeah, you know pretty cool stuff Basically, are you are you in the early stages of menopause and work at the DMV? You shutting it down. Well, because I'm uh Oh Boy boy. I love the models. They've used for these two because even though it's gorgeous women wearing it You're like she never fucking wear it. Isn't it funny how your mind puts that together immediately exactly your mind goes She's hot. What the fuck is she wearing that for it puts added dimensions on these bodies. You're like, that's not what how would you even

Describe that shirt. Well, somebody that can't see it. Here's the deal ask somebody who really likes target fashion Yeah, I love morona. I'll buy the fuck out of some target shit. That's like a step beneath. That's like does walmart have fashion Well, that is in walmart. Yeah, that's where he described it. Well, okay It's it's like your target fashions except it's um leopard print, right or whatever animal print and then blue cobra That bleeds into the leopard. It's crazy. I have the list of retail stores here that he you can Crazy if you are if you are looking at it and it's fetching to you Here's where you might be able to purchase it dillards walmart costco winners and belx Yeah, see target wouldn't even carry that. Yeah target wouldn't talk about that. What's the other don't we have another fashion?

piece oh Available boy. Oh la la can't you just picture the woman who works in the resource center of a high school wearing that shit And you're right This model is way too skinny and hot to be wearing the actual woman who wears that the woman from before She's pushing three bills at least this model laughed when she got to this and she was like Is this a joke? No, this is really it and I think that is the crux behind peter nighard's villainy is that he is Made so much money billions of dollars or some crazy crazy

off of this shit and Well, he's like i'm a fashion designer. I should be having the soggy stick of them all And he's and he hasn't he doesn't have that you know because no hot chicks are trying to Get a fucking so your theory is you're trying to say hot chicks are not running Well, aside from that, but could you imagine if he designed like gucci shit or something? He would it would be a little easier is all yeah What the irony is is that gay dudes design like michael kors gucci all that that's all tom ford. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, so this guy uh, he uh, I mean so you're saying you wouldn't Even though he was super rich you wouldn't want to party with this guy and his fame behemian island Well, hold on. Am I rosemary am I in the philippines? Am I can I tell you something if i'm rosemary in the philippines that guy is my ideal sucker because well I'll tell you what there's about a few dozen rosemaries in the bahamas that Would probably disagree with you due to the lawsuits that are coming Because one of the things I love is like the origin of the story We would not know anything this guy's story would never come to light

If it wasn't for something as simple as a neighborly dispute, right? Yep, exactly this guy is neighbors with another Billionaire Louis bacon in the Bahamas. Yeah, it's one of their many residences that guy is just some hedge fund guy Yes, like the a normal super rich guy. Yeah, if you could fathom that and he lives next door to this fucking idiot And so it's just amazing to me that no matter you think if you have neighbor problems you think i'm just gonna I wish I could be so fucking rich that i don't have to deal with that fucking asshole And then you get super rich and you have to deal with assholes like this Who are doing things like changing the topography of the island?

and like Trying to like he had a fire apparently on his part of the island and he was trying to rebuild something and that's what started all this There was like no permits in place or anything So Louis bacon was like you can't be building all this shit You can't be changing the shape of the island, you know, that's fucked up and he goes well, you're a fucking murderer You were in the clue cucks clan. He started accusing him all this shit So then that guy hired a lawyer and started digging into him and found out a whole slew of things that are really bad like uh like a ring of

young girls getting uh brought into his estate Who are poor and who you know need money? So they end up doing things for the for money if you know what i'm saying like bj's Yeah, thank you for this old guy. Should I look at the property map? Is that what I should pull up? Oh, yeah, if you want to see the island like yeah, we were just discussing how they were neighbors Well, he has so uh, if you look on the right It is uh, louis bacon's portion of the property. Uh, and then on the left is uh, peter nigh guards

He calls it nigh guard k and it's where he comes and brings his ladies He has extravagant parties and then he has people that work for him go out into the community and find poor young women to come to the party and partake in Drugs and alcohol and then eventually Put peter put all their mouths on him and stuff. Wow But what's is it? Hugh hafner was doing the same? Yeah racket, but yeah except it was a little more uh, What's the word? Complicit play, I guess. Yeah

He was kind of on the up and up about it. He was like you come here Let's just say that a couple of women have left his parties not so happy about what was going on And they tried to talk about it and bad things happened to them. Oh my god So Yeah, these are this is the uh side of his island though. Can you imagine which uh, which island this motherfucker is From those stupid clothes. That's crazy. Which island is it? Do you know? I don't know the name I can look real. I have the specs on the property here And then is there sorry go ahead. No, you can go ahead. What were you gonna ask?

Is there details on exactly what? He like criminally is accused of there's so many things really. Yes, I'll pull it up in one moment. Um Yeah, because it's all going on right now And so like there is there's like the case of 11 women is basically what they've judged up because so many women Don't want to talk first of all and there is probably so many more dozens more And then he does things to manipulate The process like they'll try and find these women and they have to keep moving them from hotel room to hotel room It's really like this guy is spending so much money to try and like cover shit up. It's so wild

and The other thing that fucked it up is that louis bacon the neighbor guy He started paying people to speak up and that's gonna money the waters of a He's giving them money. Yeah to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so that fucks everything The case is so fucking embroiled and it changes all the time But it's just wild like the accusations that he got thrown against him all came because he was fucking around Uh next door in his neighbor was pissed at him. But uh, so it's a five-acre private luxury resort Uh, it was built in 1987. It has over 20 themed cabanas on it a helipad

replicas of Mayan temples that spew volcanic smoke And a human aquarium featuring topless women dressed as mermaids This is this goes without question I think that's a great addition. I mean you guys ever think about throwing one of those in the old uh Cigarette a station. Oh a human aquarium. Oh, yeah instead of topless women. You should have bottomless men It's a great idea. I always now i'm salivating. Yeah, I really do question the logic of buying an island property like a It's extremely difficult to build on an island. You have to put all the infrastructure all the plumbing and get the material It's really quite a pain in the ass, but christina. It's worth it for all the poor girls

That's the difference. It's like you can't do it in fucking you can't do this in miami Dude, this is this reminds me of mackafee when mackafee in that documentary goes to belize And he wants girls to shit in his mouth So he goes he he sends like his people is like his minions down to the village, right? He's like you need to take a shit He goes around questioning the women. Hey, you look like Bucks that go up to uh john's house and then they go up there and they're like, I just took a shit In a hammock into his mouth and I left. Yeah, wouldn't it be nice if this man was a simple You know this poor woman, but look how happy she is about our money greatest

First time I was ashamed, but then I got used to it Exactly and I have to say in terms of like third world Exchanges not a bad exchange. I go to the guy's house. I take that one. That's the best easy street I would do that now same. Yeah easy money. Oh my god. Yeah, that's right. There's a lot of I took a shit this morning for nothing No, I'm giving you a nickel I mean, yeah, there's another I put in a video of peter niggard discussing his fashion Oh, I'd love to play it. Don't you want to see? Yeah, how would you describe it as the as the creator? Like what does he think he's doing? Well, you get a here we go. That is exactly garbage

Every design out there has just copied my product now every kelvin clients everybody's Slims makes a woman look more Yeah, no, they really as soon as you put it on your waist is two inches thinner You know you you get rid of the belly you get rid of the muffin tops you lift the butt You know and now we're working down all the way down the leg with the latest product we have is called lux You know and it's like a skin and it is most comfortable pant legging in the world right now Are you ever going to make them for men? I'm testing out of myself right now. I'm wearing them right Yeah

Her voice is horrible. I will say though. That's how right there that look is he's uh He's sampling the judge right there. He's like, do you want to get a good look? Do I want to take her to the Bahamas? Yeah, but that's why he made his fortune. I didn't put that together It is for fat chicks to look skinnier. Right fucking brilliant But also he's wearing like really cool shit too. No, I like that scarf around his neck That's something which one there's like four I didn't really I thought it was all one. I didn't realize it's all separate the hair feathering technique is very unique as well I've never seen anybody. It's a feather mullet. Which is really interesting. That's what my hair is going to look like at the end of this quarantine

Yeah, how do you think this it was a slow like breakdown like he devolved into this animal? I think he uh, I don't know that's what I've been trying to like figure out because this is such a weird like under the radar thing Other than the the actual case like him the more you look things up It's like he designed his life to be this way. They called him the Canadian Hugh Hefner At some point or what but I think he just gave himself that fucking nickname. Yeah, it sounds like he emulated Hef because he tried Yeah, very hard, but he but where Hef was peddling a sexy product that people wanted to be a part of This guy is fucking peddling nonsense and dillards So that's where the disconnect happens and I think it just made him angry like

Fuck, you know, I have the money Right, you know, so he then he goes off the rails and starts committing crimes Yeah, you had um, you had an article cited up there. Do you still have access to that that we were looking at earlier? Then yeah, this is cool It says that nigh guards outlandish lifestyle private island parties the first president bush was a friend of his Oprah Winfrey and Robert De Niro have reportedly visited his residence in the Bahamas and in 2000 Noted Epstein friend friends Andrew I did have a I did have a list of celebrities

And yep prince Andrew former u.s. President h.w. Bush Jessica Alba and Oprah Winfrey michael jack michael jackson. No go figure That's the least everyone probably just this is glosses past that guy on this Of course he was there a a rest in peace solo That's for mj, right? That's for mj. Yeah the og cool guy. Yep He kind of was the first I'm ready, but I'm sure nigh guard brought him in. He's like, so what is it? You got a Ferris wheel you got? Give me some tips here. You think this will attract a few what are you into peter? Yeah, peter now you're going after a different demographic He's like, no, I like no no no no no no michael. I want women and I never like well

I don't know But the any animals mj lord kids with the animals you haven't seen a young boy come Yeah, he had all of it, but but as you know as we learn in the lion king little pussy gets you big pussy Now it's in the lion king Hakuna matata and if little pussy gets you big pussy What's the fucking show called? Tiger the tiger king. Oh, that's funny. They had to call it that Because the other one was taken

Wow, this is really neat. Thank you for making me feel this way I was happy and now I don't feel so happy. What did you leave this research feeling? I just I I don't I mean like this guy how much Fucking young pussy is enough. Yeah, you know what I mean? It seems like really is wild It really they actually never get satiated. I'm actually blown away by it because Always when they age, I'm like doesn't all that desire kind of taper off. Right. No, I just think you're in your 70s That's what drugs are for uh as someone who's the child of a cool guy It's my agra. It's just the pills. No, I get it like I get that part of the drive though like his

Level though. It's compulsion. He's also spent hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars on covering things up And also like let's just forget about the fact that he got caught and he has to like try and fix it now Just procuring the women he was spending a crazy amount of money to do You know what I mean? Like it's all about just like scale it down and get like three of every a couple of months when I was reading all these stories like the the articles and the accusations about Um Epstein yeah the sheer volume of it all I was like god damn I mean they were like and then six girls would come in on you know Monday

And then he would tell us like make sure you bring like six more tomorrow and then it's like it's crazy doing that Tuesday Wednesday, you're like Isn't that kind of the porno theory though? Like you kind of have to it takes more and more like Tommy Lee remember When he was here, it's also it's also a sense of privilege just like we've seen so many like middle aged Uh middle americans go out and stock up on toilet paper and buy ridiculous amounts. I think it's the same theory They're like we just need so many young boys like just get a palette of them in here I mean we can't you know, it's like right. We don't want to run out. We don't want to have not enough Right

We can't just have not enough. I mean so we might as well get an abundance more is always better before before we go Do you care to weigh in on who would be the most beautiful post transition woman? I mean, I feel like you guys are underestimating my abilities. I by the way, I'm on your side You stuck up for me and I appreciate that. I think I have a great figure I also just think I would suck the best dick out of everybody too. Wow You know what? I mean wait first of all, I just want to wait. Wait. Let's press pause for a second That had nothing to do with what we were saying But I wanted I needed to bring something to the table to add it to my advantage

Wait, so you're saying you'd be a less attractive woman, but you suck a lot harder. Yeah. No, I would be like A real down to down to do you think if you feel like a sewer trash? If you had to you think you could really suck a dick well I don't know. I thought about because like, you know, there's always that's always the thing They ask in school like on the boat on the school bus or whatever It's like how much money for to suck a dick and I was like, I don't think I'd be really that great at it That was always my but now think about it. Yeah, no, that's what I mean now that your heart into it. Come on I mean if I had to try I would close your eyes. I would ask I would ask for feedback

I would be like is this good or do you think you mean I've had a few so I know I also know like do you think you would be you would be Um Slow or would you be like super aggressive with it? Well, I'd have to get it. It's like also It depends on the dick because it's like think about it If it's a big one I'd have to look at that and I have to be like I don't know what I can handle Do you know what I mean? My right flies. So I'd have to really like

Get well you figure it out quick. You'd have to get the groundwork though. You know, you go in there You get the schematics. Yeah figure out all the dimensions This one this is right in line with the show We were going to do if you lose your vision right where the guys put their dicks only I wouldn't know it was a dick In that case. Yeah, they're like suck on this titty real quick and you're like Where's the nipple and they'd be like it's the whole thing's a nipple and then you'd be like that's an eight inch nipple crazy What if the cure to coronavirus was you giving head?

I've thought about that. I said I think I texted tom. I was like, what if the coronavirus was like Baths come or something like that. Yeah, but would you suck a dick today to cure the world of this pension? Yeah Yeah, I wouldn't care about to cure the world. They'd be like sure bring it on. I used to be such a big celebrity You'd be the most famous guy. I I used the man who sucked us. Do you guys remember who sucked us free? I would do it. There would be a monument to me in washington dc The man who sucked dick to save you. Yeah, I would be like I didn't want to do it guys. I didn't I wasn't here like asking to suck a dick. I just thought You'd be doing stand-up on the washington monument. I would be I'd fuck stand up. I would be giving speeches

I had a dream That all of us could go outside again, and then I sucked that dick so that you could be here today You know like that kind of like what if it's josh's saliva when mixed with semen for some reason is the the vaccine I love that your mind went there. Yeah Um, I also feel like it couldn't be like a normal sized dick to be the cure It's like godzillas. It's four It's four brothers, and they all have huge dicks four brothers or four brothers like related to each other Okay, they're they're their brothers and their brothers

And you have to blow them all at the same time. Oh my god for your mouth Then you save the world now could I fail at it? It's my question or is it just the act of doing it? No You could fail you could fail if they don't all come at the same time in your mouth He's supposed to fit four. This is what dr. Fauci said It's like star wars. It's like in two of the things into the thermal reactor Wait, but you can't fit four of those dicks in his mouth at once. No, but they got a try He tried and they keep and then like as he's doing it one of them is like oh, we just spit over here He's yeah, it's like a it's a real battle. There's gonna be a really harrowing moment

I might not be able to do it. There's like a part of like that fourth dick They're like we can't get it in and then everyone's like hope is lost, but then I figure it out I put it in my ass Right when you're like, I don't know if I could do it and you're crying one of the guys goes I got an idea and he breaks your jaw So your mouth falls open and then he's like he did it You're like And then that guy the fourth guy fucks you. He's like yes, I got in I got in and then Aerosmith starts playing

What's the song the one from Armageddon? Dude, we gotta do this. Are you down to shoot this? Yes I want you to break his jaw, but then he can't suck anymore. He doesn't get his boot. He just takes it open It makes a real loud sound too You go And then they're like it's open. It's open. It's just my screams where they muffle it with their dicks Dude, we gotta shoot this. Okay. All right Follow josh on instagram

On twitter and then when he does stand up again in 2022 make sure you Please You'll be back soon. Thanks josh. Thank you. Thanks josh Oh Man, that made me cry for dicks and dislocated jaws only you save the world though But only you and your diseased mind could think of somebody Breaking josh josh's jaw. Well, there's got they've got to get that fourth one in that's the problem. Right. No, I know I got it I'm just saying you're the only person sick enough to think of violently harming our friends so that he could suck all those dicks

To save the world and then he becomes the biggest hero in the world And do you think the statue the monument will have his jaw broken and it's like the jaw The jaw that saved the world Or will they Will they give him the monument intact, you know, like what's the choice or maybe he's like this in the statue like Holding his jaw up, you know, and then they're like, oh, that's the guy man. That's why we're here today. He did it for us He sucked all them dicks Yeah, but he did it. It was respectful

Pretty cool Before we stop down for our break, we wanted to address because people have asked with good reason to talk about dr. Drew dr. Drew pinsky our friend and Broadcaster here at your mom's house studio studio jeans at inside studio jeans Yeah, so he was trending At the point that you're seeing this probably like a week ago because He was one of the early vocal voices that

That this virus wasn't going to be As you know as big as dangerous and as traumatic as it ended up being And he was you know saying to Travel and and that it just wouldn't be so bad and then you know as it progressed and got worse You know, he recently came out and and said how wrong he was people have asked us like what do we think? I just wanted to to say for the record that I love that guy Um, I think he's a great human being

I love him too just for the record and he's a solid citizen He does so much for the community and he's a wonderful guy and the the point I'm trying to make is just that yes He did get it wrong. He got that wrong A lot of people got it wrong Every time I spoke to dr. Drew just for the record like when this thing was starting every time I spoke to him He would tell me what he thought and I talked to a lot of doctors and I would I would listen to him And then he would go but listen man Whatever you do listen to dr. Fauci listen to the cdc

What they say is what you should be following and to my knowledge. He also would give his opinion on shows on television Say his thoughts and then always be like Listen to dr. Fauci listen to the cdc listen to the who and And you know his opinions didn't always line up with them, but he always tagged like listen to the specialist The whole point is this man. Um, I like I said, I would definitely stand up for that guy being A great person Um, a really really really smart guy and he got this wrong. That's as simple as I'm well

And in his defense too, you know, he was Giving his opinion based on the information that was available at the time and he did revise his message when the information Changed and I know there's people are going to be like they always go like well, where's the apology? It's out there. He I've I've seen it. So if you're wondering like well, how come he hasn't he has He there's there. I saw it on his twitter feed where he was Couldn't be more clear that he apologized. He got it wrong. He didn't think It was this severe when he was saying those things. So that's all you can do. I think you know Is say hey, I was wrong and and he did that and that takes a lot of courage and also

I think his message primarily was That the media is responsible for creating panic And hysteria which it fucking does. Yeah Is it necessary to have a ticker counter rolling of bodies and how many people constantly? No, and that is something that and to be fair like to be totally fair about like the another aspect of that is like when

They were like Sounding the alarms at the at the beginning of this. They also didn't know the severity of it. They're just always going to lean on Alarms, you know, like they want it to they want the clicks. They want the hysteria And and it was basically validated as the virus Spread and became you know more dangerous, but it's not like they knew for sure No, they would end up like this and it actually goes the opposite way. This is the one time that Yeah, that way but the the point being I think dr. Drew is an excellent human being He's a solid citizen. He's a good man and he owns up to his yes

And you know some people are that's not going to be good enough or and you know, that's just the way it is, you know You're just gonna have to go find four dicks and break it off Get them all in your mouth. There you go. All right. So that's that. Hope you enjoy our time coming up here with christilia Uh, this guest today is the president of the log cabin with babies He has no dents in his wallet or in his portfolio He is a comedian an actor who does not appear in season two of you Please welcome my friend christilia. Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm here. This is cool. It's the first time I've been in this studio I'm happy. I'm happy to be here. I've been wanting to come back. Thank you very much for coming, man

We're very excited the new special just so we get it in people's ears right away It is out as you are listening to this That's right. You can go to netflix and watch no pain. Yes. That's what it's called No pain christilia's fourth Uh, it's my fourth special. Yeah. Yeah third on netflix. Yeah, that's pretty exciting. Yeah, it is. Yeah It's weird to think where'd you shoot it? Uh, minneapolis minneapolis. It's great comedy place The best we all we all share an agent and um, you I think you shot this Week before oh, yeah, I did I shot mine

And it was mine first. Yeah, mine was first. Yeah, and I go, uh, I was delias and he goes best first show Taping I've ever seen anybody tape and I was like really and then agents always feel weird that they talk about someone else He goes, I mean this was great. This was great By the way, every the first special I did went well the second one Went well the third one. I did not go well for me. Really? Yeah, it's it's probably You know, is that man on fire man on fire and where'd you shoot it? Uh Oh vancouver

I remember that Because I was with you the day after. Oh, that's right. Because I was I was doing a show right at that at the vote at the vote That's right. Oh, that's right. And you had we went out to dinner With our with our team. Yeah with our team laugh Team lol and I we all went out and And you told me a night. Yeah, it was a nightmare story Which was it was that the The first show the mic just kept cutting out. I mean, no, it's it's never happened to me

Before that and since Here's the thing. Was it a wireless? Yes. Fuck a wireless mic. I never let them never do you never Because I've been screwed. I've even showed up at um, just a regular night at a show in some theater and I look out on the stage And I go is that wireless and they'll be like, yeah, I'm like, no, really. Oh, yeah, because I think it I saw a special I don't remember who's who it was But they had a wire with their microphone and I was like that looks bad Really, but but I've seen yours and you will use the wire. So fuck it. I just I just for me It's like I I've had I haven't had even what you described which I consider a nightmare scenario

Because people don't realize, you know, when you shoot the you know, there's there's a lot of pressure on that night Like you really feel the pressure of the night, you know You know, you're you're shooting it forever and you want everything to go well And you want it to be lit like this and you want, you know Or is the audience cool is everything and then to be like, oh this thing that I'm not supposed to even think about Is not working and it's never been a problem before or after ever and it's like the one thing they have The only thing you need. Yeah, I'd rather do without an audience and no microphone I know um

And uh, yeah, no, it was just uh, and it cut out and I I was like it's not cutting out, right? I was like, that's just my ears, you know, and then it did it a few times and once on a punch line, which is no And I only have like three of those So then at the end it was like I guess it was cutting out and I and I feel a weirdness like nothing's really changing But you know, you feel the energy and I look behind me and the fucking guy Like the stage hand or whatever is out there with another microphone in the middle of the special And I'm like, what's up? And he was like, hey, you need to use this one And I was like, okay, I had to start the story over again

And then do you know, I ended on this long story and um And man, it was just but it went well for you though. No, so so what happened was I was like look You know, you learn this and you guys know this but like as long as it seems like you're not going through anything fucked up You can edit it. The audience is going to sound fine. The audience was was was pretty good. It was okay You know, it wasn't it wasn't a bad audience and so I was like you just have to suck it up and not Let the camera know and that's really hard But you know, you do it Yeah, and I and I did it and and and I thought the first one I was like, well, we just got to scrap that one

Which is what you never you never want to you always want to get it first. Yeah, you shoot it twice I don't you know, how much of the shit you know this if you're losing this but you shoot it twice And the first one is like, okay, we got it pretty much. Yeah You maybe need pieces in the second one But then the then the second one I did and I got it and it was good But for you on the first one, they were like, oh, hey the mic cut out the whole time Yes, so I was like so I was like, well, I need to do the second one and bro. I went in. I don't think I've ever Screamed at anybody. Yeah, but I was like doing shit like this is my life. Yeah, what the fuck. This is all I need

Who's fucking fault is this and they're like, well, there's another production in the area We think that it switched over to the thing and it was and I'm like, all right So the second one I got it and I was like not happy I was also going through a weird time in my life Like I was going through a breakup and shit like that and it was just everything was bothering me So it was just like the whole feeling of the of the production was just like No, it didn't feel good. And then I got the cut And the first show

looked better because I was worried about the mic. So I was going I was like it it looked better to someone who didn't know what was happening Because I was going I don't want to say I was going harder, but I was like I had it in my head like All right, look act like nothing can stop you and that made it better. So I used a lot of the first one That's interesting. Which is really weird. I did not expect that and then And then so the special is good. I I think I think mine on fire was my best material up until that point So I was I was happy with it But it was not like sometimes all the stars aligned that was not that was not what that was

You know, and so that I think because that happened I got nervous Like I did a comedians of the world thing. Remember that thing that came out that was like new years. Yeah, awful audience Yeah, we shot it at like 6 p.m. It was like fucking bright as shit and You know, it was one of those things was like, all right, just pretend like they're not here Do it in your fucking living room and I felt like I performed well But the audience was I was like, I was like, what's going on because for me the more shit like that happens The worst i'm gonna be the next time and the worst i'm gonna be the next time because i'm just gonna get my head

You know, and then For this one no pain I went through that and I was like, you know what I'm not fuck all this shit There's no fucking way and then both shows were just great. It was awesome. It was all the stars aligned We were we talked about this before like just I never felt like I really got a good Good 100 taping and this is that for sure. Do you think it's because you had been through two every crappy ones? You're like, there's nothing I can do. Fuck it. You just have to let it ride

And also though, I mean like nobody would know that watching you because you've got so many years of experience that You know, even on your worst day, you're still batten. Whatever. It's whatever sports analogy. I don't know You're still batten. You're still batten 10 or whatever the fuck. Yeah, you're still making a goal 45 under par. You know, you people can't tell yeah, because tom's done special sick Which one did you shoot sick? I did disgraceful sick I did nobody wouldn't know the I did the first one. I did was the The papered room and and that like that's everybody's first one But I I remember I went backstage after the first show and I was like

I was uh And they were like now you got it in the can and so now you have fun I was like that wasn't good though. Like they were not good and I had done all these shows leading up to it of Really live Excite like and so this was my first Like where I would do these bits and I go I'm used to the big pop And I was like it's not happening on any of And then we did the second show which was like

slightly better And then I I kind of walked out of their shell shock like oh, this is not gonna play. Well, this won't be a A thing that turns out well and then I I learned from that that What's happening in the in the room when you shoot doesn't matter. It's what happens at home You know, so people watching it are like they hear laughs, you know some people they go like I thought the crowd was great I thought they're crazy. You're like what matters is that how they connect with your face? They're not the audience. It is your face and also like and then they're always like how come there's a laugh track You're like those are people. Yeah, those are people. It's the weird every time. They're like weird that you had a laugh track

I'm like there's 2600 people at a show. Yeah, you hear that on your stand-up people say that every time Oh, that's yeah, I hear it on like sitcoms and shit. Yeah, because like people think no on the on specials They're like why is there a laugh track? I'm like it's human beings in the room. They're they're there You know when they cut to wide shots and you see all those people. Yeah, that's what you're hearing I don't want to I don't know. I want to make money, but I don't want those people as fans even Yeah, I love it. You know what tom and I love most is your disdain for humanity. Oh really? I respect it. Oh good. Yeah. I wish here's what I'm trying to do Maybe this is why what I admire about both of you is your ability to not give a fuck if people like you or not

Okay, and I would teach me both of you. Okay. How do I not give a fuck? Well, okay. So whitney asked me that on her podcast. Really? She was like she was like, how do you she's like you really seem like things don't get to you and I and I was like Oh, really? Because you know, obviously if you're a person things get to you no matter what, you know Um, and I was like, oh, maybe I maybe I seem more that I don't give a fuck than I do And then I was like I thought about it ever since she asked me and I was like, I think I Well, I definitely give like here. Here's you have no time for nonsense. So I I can't suffer fools I I just like these motherfuckers. I don't know how to do it because here's the thing

Here's a good here's a good Example I I I block anybody. I got a trick. I got a fucking hair Trigger a finger. It's it's if you if you don't know Uh, if you don't know me then how do I know how you mean something? Yeah, so You better come correct And if you don't then I'll block you and and I don't and I'll forget about I who are you first of all Second of all afterwards. Who are you? You're the guy? You're the guy who somebody messages me Hey, man. Well, you have to lead a unblocking. I'm like, why good that by the way, you should block that person

Like what are you talking? I you don't know me the idea though that I'm gonna be like, hold on a second. Yeah. Yeah, Craig Hey chris. Yeah, you know craig on instagram. He said that he should unblock him I know what you should reply all those to all those guys that say chris blocked me. I can't I know So so no, so I block everybody and now I've learned because I've blocked so many people That like some guy the other day said uh somebody somebody tweeted something like I need to laugh So I'm gonna watch everything that chris delia has ever done and then somebody replied to him And said but I thought you said you wanted to laugh and I and I wrote bro. Are you okay? What's the problem this guy this guy had a blue check mark and I was ready and I was ready

I was ready. I googled him already. I'm like, here we go Right And he and he wrote oh, it's just a joke, bro And I'm like, but how the fuck do I know that if I don't know you yeah If you say it if you say it, of course, it's a joke, right? I know you so I didn't block him because I give Okay, sure, you know, whatever fine like the guy was joking. I'm glad because I was gonna come Yeah, immediately about like, let me just see what's up, right? So so then I I I somebody sent me a link to a thing that was like

uh Another comedian and I'm not gonna mention who it is but uh, he blocks people and there was like a a chat of Yeah, you blocked me too and he blocked me and me and me and like this guy's a pussy He's sensitive and I was like, I wonder if there's shit like this about me So I googled and there is all right, so you googled it. Yeah, I googled Yeah So I googled and people are maniac people Chris is a pussy because he blocked me because I said this and by the way

They said shit like you're not funny you fucking bitch and I'm like, why the fuck wouldn't I block that? Yeah, I don't want to see anything negative sensitive or not. Who gives a fuck so now So now there's shit like yeah, I used to think he was funny, but this shit, you know, he blocks me He says don't get this is my favorite. Don't get don't get fucking He says don't get sensitive over jokes and he blocked me and like you're literally calling me like a piece of Yeah, yeah, it's like you work at Wells Fargo. I'm a comedian of my shit. Yeah, I'm a joke I make jokes. You know that don't get offended at me if I'm talking about cancel culture But if you're saying hey die you piece of shit and you work at fucking kinkos dude, I was fucking around was joking

I was joking. I was saying boil the death in a pile of shit and I was saying Yeah, exactly. Well, I respond the other day I posted something about a tech talk which we'll get into because I know you're an enthusiast as I am And I it was a bit like a goth girl thing and someone DM'd me on Instagram No one gives a shit about your goth girl Stuff great and I wrote back and and I seldom do this. She said this to you. It was a man And I wrote back to him and I go, you know what given that we're in the middle of this apocalypse I'm gonna let you I'm gonna give you a pass because I think you're hurting inside

Just whatever like so you wrote that let you go and he wrote back. He's like, you're right. I'm sorry Oh, what and it's like so then why are you being a jerk like then just why because people, you know why I think people do that because one of the reasons I don't block is because I feel like It validates their desire for the attention. They want that they interpret it. You're right. So they go like you're right You're right. They poke poke poke and then you go blocked and then they're like got something out of that guy You're right or I've also succumbed to like I don't really come Comment on like like the critique and people are like you said, right? But every once in a while, you know, you have a like you have it and then you usually immediately I'm like

I wish I hadn't I know I know I know It's an interesting thing because I feel like I feel a little bit and this is I think this is a Shortcoming I have I think this is a fault of mine that like when the fact that anybody can reach me Yes makes me mad. Yeah, it makes me mad because when I came up I didn't have fucking John Travolta's number. Right. Do you know what I mean? There was no way in hell me in Lacan Yatta sitting around was going to be able to say anything to John Travolta Yeah, I know and he never knew by the way. How many people think he sucks. I know Think about Harrison Ford think about how fucking awesome he was in the 80s

There were people on the couch that were like, fuck this cuck this guy sucks. Yeah And we and and and and Harrison we're didn't know Which is great. Well, that's awesome for him And also, you know what the problem is is this pussy pussy generation with this whole no bullying No one's ever had their asses beat. Yeah, so these motherfuckers don't know that like guess what you could run into chris Delia one day. You don't know if he's a fucking psycho and he could be like, fuck you Johnny hammer 157 I remember you bitch and you could hurt him. I could see chris with like a full list in his car Just like flipping through it. Like what's your handle again? And he just gets out of the car. He's like, I know you

Are you blocked? Are you blocked? One thing I love though, you have this I've seen Joe do this too. What is that you guys As soon as somebody is like lingering in an annoying way like if they're if they're being Tom's told me about that I don't like it about myself that if someone's like, hey man, big fan. I'll be like, oh, thanks. And then uh, you know I'll sit down and they're like, hey, you remember the episode and I'll be like, what's that and they'll start You already said the time. I'm like, oh, yeah. Okay. Thanks, man. And then I'll turn back down They're like, there's Christina really like it when you and I'm like, you know, I don't deal with all this

Yeah, I'll do the whole thing and I'm so nice. I will Yeah, that's great. All right. And then you know at worst, I'll just I'll be like, I got it I'm actually late and I'll walk. Okay. What you and Joe I've seen you both do this is like someone's like Like we were having coffee and that guy was like, I'm a big fan of you guys and I was like We were both like, oh, thanks a lot. We both said thanks a lot. He's like, you know, it's a tough time We're making a slap. We were like, that's thank you very much. And then he walked away. Yeah, and then he was like if you want like, uh

wrist belts Yeah, uh Finger thumb it was we were like, yeah And then I was like, oh, that's cool. And then he walked away again and came back and was like I here's my card and I was like, okay. And Chris was like, yeah, thanks a lot. So And he just completely dismissed it and I was like, oh my god. I I got jealous. I got jealous. How do I get there? I don't I didn't even think that that was uh I thought I was being nice by the way that that because I'm like you get you get two and it's great and I'm nice

I'm nice for two for two. But like sometimes But sometimes I'm nice for two. There was this one Don't make a hat that says I'm nice for two I did one where there was this guy, you know, the comedy store is like the worst for that. I was hanging out. That's another place I've seen you there. There's nowhere to hide. I was like, and I don't want to go in the bitch bar in the back The back bitch bar where it's like, yeah, go And we're all all the comedians. I wish we could be out there, but you can't So I fucking I hang because I'm not gonna

You're not gonna change what the fuck I'm doing, you understand, right? Just because you want to talk about some something And so I'm hanging in the back and I'm with four people five people and like two of them I hadn't seen in a long time and it was awesome to see him Yeah, and all of a sudden, you know how you just feel sometimes there's somebody there lingering. Yeah, like something like Like dude, I never want to be this guy, man Like my nightmare in the world is to be some be a certain way that I don't know I am right Yeah, that's my nightmare to be unaware of how you're being. Yeah me too

I'm convinced that I have the most horrible annoying person on the planet But that because you have that means you're not that person right because the person who really is doesn't have that awareness at all Like you just want to turn and you want to be like, hey, man You don't know you're being like this and somebody that loves you should tell you But you're a fucking weird tall lanky guy just hooking over in onto my shoulder Yeah, just step back a few a few paces turn around and talk to the person in the other direction If you know them, right? But but but because it's the comedy store and literally and I'm not trying to toot my own horn

Like I'm whatever say what you want about me But there's there's comedians there that are fucking like world-class comedians and I see motherfuckers talk to them And that's like talking about talking of being at a Cardinals game and talking about pool holes In between and you're like, dude, let it bad. Yeah, let it bad Okay, so so So i'm hanging out at the comedy store. I haven't seen fucking two or three of these guys in A long time. He used to work with them. It was so awesome

And there's a fucking tall lanky guy hooking over right and I feel this and I turn around and he's now he Is starting conversation, which is okay fine. You want to say one or two things right? Thanks Then it goes off from me and he just he's in the conversation now and he's driving the conversation Okay, and I haven't seen these people and the people that I haven't seen are like, do you know this guy to me? Right, so now I look like I have weird fucking friends. All right So so I want them to know he's not my friend I want him to know that he shouldn't be doing this anymore. Okay And so he tells a joke

And my other friends laugh. All right, and it's not funny. All right. You do like a courtesy Yes, and and and I went like I went like this I said I said My friends Left so hard because they thought we were friends right and in that moment They realized oh, this was just a god. This guy just walked up. Yeah And I and I went

Who are you and dude? He fucking went. Oh, I don't know. I was just I don't know And I said I haven't seen these people in a long time, man And you're driving this conversation and I don't know you And it was just great and he walked away. Yeah, he walked away. Yeah, but here's but here's here's what I want I want you to know and if you're listening. I want you to know this I Genuinely love that guy. I am not

Ang I am not you know, I got to get frustrated. I got to get angry. I got to let it out Because I love that guy because I love people It's not sometimes people get the wrong idea. You're like you're a fucking dick and this and that dude We're all in this together. Yes, and I've been a guy like that in a way probably And I love that guy and because that guy's doing that. It's funny to me. I don't hate that guy Right, but I gotta come out and I gotta you can't let it just simmer Then I'm gonna get cancer in fucking nine years. I'm gonna that shit's gonna become cancer You got to come out and say like here's what you're doing, bro

And then I feel better because if you're gonna make me feel like this then I gotta feel better one time we were in the hallway at the store Some guy came out. I'm big big fan And I was like, thanks. I mean he's like chris a big fan and you went like, okay And uh, he's like, uh Hey you guys and you're like, oh, you're like, I'm just talking to someone man and he was like, oh, okay, okay I I don't know I find I find so much satisfaction in witnessing dude. I I like there's like sometimes I make up rules in my head too like if I were out and I saw some guy talking to a girl

I don't know the situation. It could be his wife. It could be his girlfriend. It could be a girl He's trying to impress. It could be his agent. It could be a co-worker. I don't know But my rule is if a guy's talking to a girl, you just don't interrupt that guy. Okay. Yeah So if a guy ever comes up to me and I'm talking to whoever I could be talking to you It doesn't matter if it's a girl. I say I'm talking to I'm talking to a girl, man They say no, I know I say but what are you doing? Yes, this is against the code. It is it is

I had one time I I I I used to open with for joe a lot, you know, I travel with him and I feel like even though he's so famous now When I look back He felt that even though he wasn't as famous as he felt super famous whenever we would be in public Interesting, you know, I mean like when we yes, yes, so like like everybody it felt like everybody even 10 years ago was like, hey Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and um after shows if we would go out or something There would always be weird guys. Yeah, you know, and I think it's like you guys weirdos Yeah, and they would be like joe. He'd be like, yeah

And they would linger and he'd be like the fuck are you doing here? You know And they would go away. I would laugh every time and one time we went to this restaurant in san jose after the show and um There's some weirdos and and this guy was like Hey, man, he's like, what'd you say? And uh, you know the guy Kind of said something he was like, okay. Well, we're gonna eat now. So, you know Get out of here or something and the guy was like, no, no, but I he was like, dude, what are you doing? Like what do you do? And then we sat in these booths at this restaurant and the guy jumped in the booth. No

Next to joe. No, seeing joe. It must have sensed that on some level Yeah, he said that before and then with one hand pushed him all out. He went Like that and the guy went flying out of the booth like launched him out of the booth Yeah, and then the guy was like, well, all right, just took off after that Can I tell you guys? Well, let me run a scenario by you and I would love to have a Who the fuck are you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So this is I've been thinking about this for months I was doing this club a few months back And there's this door guy the bouncer the room bouncer. Yeah, he's an older gentleman

And he's been working at the club for many many many years And I've I've known him over the years acquaintances. We're not bros. We don't drink together Whatever he's an employee. I'm kind to everybody. So by the second night of shows I'm standing in the showroom. I'm watching the feature act I'm getting ready to go up and he does this thing where he comes up next to me And he like ha ha bumps into me And it's one of those like junior high like A poet and I just fucking looked at him. I was like, uh, uh, bro

Like to me, I was ready to fucking do a Joe Rogan and like no push And like what should I have done because I'm trying to think of a great comeback Do you know what I mean? Like what would have been you don't want to be fucking too hostile. It's also different for a woman Yeah Yeah, it's it's it's absolutely worse for a woman because you have that added thing where it's like Oh, you could murder me. Yeah, or rape me in the alley or or or and also, oh, you You know, usually it's oh, you want to have sex with me. You know with a guy. It's like, uh, bro You're just being weird. It's like, oh, okay. We were the worst. We're gonna fuck anyway

The worst I think about pre-show someone fucking with me pre-show Is that like when your instinct is to get angry You have to like stop yourself because you know that if you're truly get angry that you're not funny Like you're not gonna fuck up your whole energy. Yeah Like if you get real if you're like, man, fuck you like it's not hilarious anymore So like it's hard because if somebody does that I want I think like the almost the thing is You either have to like have like disdain quiet. That's what I did. That's what I did. You know, I mean like and get and give them nothing Yeah, that's what I did. I was like, what the right weird though when they if they're doing like the hip bumper the touch

Yeah, you know what I should do tell on him That's a good move That's a good move To be a tattle tattle. I don't fuck that. I think I should tattle. Yeah, I'm being too You know this person. I do. I'm dying to know who it is. I'll tell you off mic I fucking hope and I love the manager of this club too. I really I really like this person getting close to revealing it All right, I I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna fucking tell by the way. Um, I just want to ask have you seen You've seen larry king talk about mark wallberg. No, you didn't see that. Oh, man. No, wait, wait, wait

Starring alongside mark wallberg and roseburn in instant family. All right, you share the screen with mark Yeah, you got it. I got it No, him a long time. What was that like? so It's a crazy Right, that's crazy That he but then we all right, you know, let's walk more mark wallberg. No, that's just okay. That's isolated great about you is You saying yeah, you got it the way you said it

You legitimately could have said any words in the world you could have said I have a lamborghini And and it doesn't matter. We all knew what you meant And that's that you often have that you often have we know what you're saying No matter what you're saying and that's a true talent. Oh, that's a true talent You know how hard it is to actually pick the words to make somebody understand what you're saying And you don't even need to do that. That's x-men shit Thanks, man What we found that

Then blew me away because I love that larry did this so much, of course Yeah, um and and he's got other ones which we'll get to but uh that that apparently wallberg's name has been Something that people stammer on all the time. Oh really? You got a favorite movie you've watched in the last few days My favorite I've watched in the last few days is called spencer confidential with mark mo I mean And then uh, I mean, I don't know if you've even seen this guy I'm doing it because I know wallberg. You know what I mean? What did I do? Say it again? So that I'm doing it because I like mark wallberg

Who said you this shit? We have research are minions and then for fuck's sake the only one what is burt wearing This is the only one that tops that one. Okay is this one. How do mark wallberg? He struggles with it. It must be a hard thing. You know who's like mark wallberg mark wallberg. I stumbled mark wallberg I stumbled there. Wow. That's fucking mark mark mollberg Yeah, uh, you know who's like that for me 100% I never say it right and I just say it wrong and I don't try to Russell Westbrook Russell Westbrook Russell Westbrook Westbrook. Wow. Yeah Russell West Russell Westbrook Yeah, it's hard. Russell Westbrook

That's what I do all the time. I sound like a fucking baby. Say it again Russell Westbrook. It's hard. Yeah, I have to think about it. So fuck him. I just say whatever and then that's it Well, who would be a prettier trans woman you or tom? Oh, he would be I don't know bro. Dude hold on Okay, your hair you don't have to do anything your hair your hair is beautiful. You shave your lean You I mean I put you in a pair of heels. Yeah Um, you're very tall. You're tall. Let me just say something great makeup

Let me just say even Either of us trans. Yeah, nobody's fucking either of us. So I think there's some people out there that would be interested You know I think I I don't know. I got like a big nose. You have a nicer face, dude He has a nice nose. You have a nicer face. Your nose is great You know that we presented this this proposal to our staff here and people like legitimately were like, I would be hotter Like they they really got worked up. Wow. Yeah, Nadav thinks he would be a beautiful plus size beautiful plus size woman

Right there on mike. What do you think of those three? I mean, he looks like he'd be a fucking librarian And She would like and you'd be like who even still is a librarian There's the internet. It's always a quiet thick lady. Yeah Where you'd be like shh, and you'd be like, I'm just gonna google it. Fuck you And potter potter small, which I think he could be like a cute petite, you know, yeah Like he has he just needs like he has so much hair Um, but then you know, I feel like chris uh in there is also like you and that he has that shoulder length hair and

Yeah, you know might be beautiful and it's soft and pretty and it's got nice soft curls in it chris has got really nice hair. Yeah, um, I I don't know I I do uh I don't know I I think I would have nice legs for a girl But because I have like thin legs. I can't I gotta get more muscle on my shit. Well, but that's good for the transition That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so I have that. Yep So, oh, did you I think you would appreciate this? Um, this is I think this is uh, it's silent in that it's uh There's no audio, but so we'll have to walk through it. But this is This is video footage from a security camera somewhere. I think in the uh, like india or something like that. Um

So see this guy's on his phone. Yeah And then a guy wearing the same shirt runs by him Runs past him and then here comes the cop No shit He's like get the fuck over here and the guy's like dude. I it's the shirt Same outfit the shirt ran by, you know when they you know, it's like it's a bit racist. They're like, y'all look alike, but it's him This is like a fucking owen wilson movie it is man

And then look even the dog knows look the dog's like it's not him It's still this guy's like and then he's like you get the fucking side Yeah, because you know, there's no justice. This guy is just gonna get put to death, right? By the way, why is that guy wearing the same thing as the other guy wearing? Get more outfit. It's like a bad video game get more outfits, man Um That's so funny. They want that reminded me. I don't know why but well just because it was about beating but like yeah uh my opener michael anochi

he was uh Yeah, god this guy like he's just Not the brightest, you know, and I talk about it in my podcasts all the time and he Is my opener and you know when I'm at my shows there there are thousands of people there and they're all They're all there to see me sure like

And he and and not not to not by the way Have you ever tried to go in backstage to to your own show and they're like, whoa, whoa, buddy And you're like, I'm it's me look here and they're like, all right. All right. You're like, well, you know So got yelled at once when doing that really walking. Hey. Hey like that as I was walking there. Hey, man You can't just walk. I was like, I'm the guy. Wow like doesn't matter come back over. I was like, oh god all right, buddy your job matters so so Lanotchi was in the front doing

Something with merch And instead of going the back way he walked through the audience and jumped on stage to go to the back and nine security guys tackled him Oh boy and was and were and were like you can't do that He was with my merch shirt. Just like no. No. I'm the opener. I'm the opener. He was screaming out Dude

And then everyone saw it and then then he had to go on stage And do 20. Oh, did he open with it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude That's hilarious and he's like, isn't that fucked up. They did that and I'm like, no, man They don't even know who I am. Yeah. I was like, well, how could you think that that's okay? If you ran up the front and just jumped on Yeah, yeah, 100% that's so funny. Didn't you post you? Yeah, you posted the other day About Kenneth Copeland. He's a great preacher. Oh, yeah, and uh, yeah, he's been I don't know. He's been on fire. Have you followed him for a while? No, I knew I had I realized after I posted that

That I had seen the video He's not a lot. Don't you say I I believe in devil. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's right. So he he he's uh, if you were gonna like I don't like I believe that everybody kind of does Like people say like, oh, this guy's a bad guy. That guy's a bad guy. Like everybody nobody really thinks they're a bad guy Right, like everyone thinks they're doing the right thing

Republican democrat, whatever the fuck. I think that guy He knows he's doing he knows He knows he knows Is it even a guy even a guy who robs a bank is like gotta do it for my family, you know, but this guy is just like pure evil He's definitely aware that he's a fucking bad guy. He's a bad It wasn't he selling the colloidal silver that that fights um, kovat 19 He was selling a remedy for the corona virus. Um, it's just colloidal silver. It's like he does all the um

Such a piece of shit. He's like heels and tongue necks People that have been injured in the neck car wrecks one of them's a bicycle wreck uh different Injuries to the neck making it up being healed and made whole And they cheer as it as it's happening, you know, it's like it's at least one case It there is restoration coming and the difference between healing and restoration

Is the bones in your neck are having to be miraculously restored Do you realize too your healing to take place how the healing is there You can hose people just if you're able to articulate thoughts like this guy is a he could be a broadcaster You know, he didn't speak and just by that skill set and then his evilness He's able to do like run this racket. He's an entertainer and they should be taxing him like an entertainer What's fucked is that he's protected from paying taxes, which is crazy. It's a really interesting thing like it's a really fucking like uh I I learn a lot from guys like this like you you you can just say whatever you

a truth ism you could say something that you think is true and And you and you as long as you sound like you mean it I mean trump does it all the time. I don't like to get political But he he doesn't know things he talks about and he's like this is how it is and you're like and people are just like Yes, millions. Yeah, millions of people are like, um, yeah, say it does it. Yes. Yes, uh, but that's a Real power and I think a lot of people don't realize that that's a real thing Um, and I and I I started to do that. I got it. You know, I want people to just believe what I'm saying. Believe what I'm saying. Yeah

we Were good pants to have Yeah, good pants an aeroplane that it was a vickers viscount and On our board of directors owns that aeroplane But they that aeroplane had been parked for several years so that has justified It was a four-engine turboprop Airliner the baby's board

so This is back in the days when george first came along And then this is the one you were talking about. Yes You want to fly commercial so that you can fly in luxury How much money did you pay for tyler parry's gulfstream jet for example? Well, for example, that's really none of your business of your donors. Listen. Oh, here we go. I've paid. Oh, wow Oh, wow caught me off guard here. Okay Thank you lord help

Well, let me let me just ask you a really simple question A lot of people think it's unbecoming for a preacher to live a life of luxury and to fly around in private jets What's your response to that? Very simple It takes a lot of money to do what we do Without the airplane that we have that I bought from tyler parry and I didn't pay any Tyler's one of the greatest guys. He made it. He made that airplane so cheap for me. I couldn't help but buy it Well, my question then well, well, okay

All right, but I want to get to the demons because people are very concerned about that comment It's answering inside the vision. I love your eyes. Oh Wow You said that you don't like to fly commercial because you don't want to get into a tube with a bunch of demons Do you really believe that human beings are demons? No, I do not and don't you ever say I did Wow, we wrestle not With flesh and blood. Oh boy, but principalities and powers. I believe that last part but other than that Dude, he should have just said no and got in his car and left. Yeah

Why do you entertain it? That's what I'm saying. Who are you? That's the shit to do. He should have said Who are you? Pat robertson's the one that's selling colloidal silver. Oh, oh and also that piece of shit What's the guy baker jim baker is selling buckets of mashed potatoes Did you know that for what the end of times for the end of times so get these buckets and get your mashed potatoes Yeah, uh, that's pretty cool. Dude that guy. I love The all of the all of the shit that he does to buy time

Yeah, you know what I mean like a prayer. Okay. Well, let me pray or you got beautiful eyes and like well, listen Just that even that is a performer. Yeah Nice the other guy The other guy the other guy From your place of authority destroyer. What a bitch that other guy is Like like the guy on the the guy on the left, of course, he's crazy But that guy on the right is a fucking bitch because here's the deal It's gotta help sell the bit though, right? Of course. Of course. He's the hype man

But there's a guy the guy on the left at least maybe one iota believes in what he's saying which I don't believe But you know the guy on the right doesn't believe what the fuck the guy on the left is saying. Yes I think it's insidious to the wives that support these douchebags. Remember tammy fey and oh, she's still she's still Whoever he's got a new he's got a new one, but she doesn't say anything. She's like He's not trust the woman He's talking to kovat 19 right there. Oh, yeah Yeah, well, I hope he can cure it. I mean that'd be cool if it works What if he's the one that actually what if it's him? Yeah released it. He's the one who released it and now he's

God and then he prays so hard that it goes away. Pretty cool Um, did you want to show you said you wanted to show Chris some of your talks? Dying i've been waiting for you to come in. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we talked about this before do you want uh corona or arm corona theme talks? Oh, no, you better not be i've been talks. I've been curating these painstakingly just for your appearance I thought corona themed and non-corona because this this pandemic has inspired many different genre Where should we start corona or non-corona? Uh start non-corona. Yeah, yeah, yeah mix it up. All right

Okay, for those who say why I have so much fucking gums. It's not how damn sorry to you son of a bitch is Surgery. Why don't y'all stop fucking uh judging me because I'm in non-mode for people to bully All right, what's good? Why did you know mood for people to what to bully to bully? That's she has surgery surgery. What was the surgery? Does she go on? Is there another tech second tiktok or? This is all I have here is she just said she had surgery. I'm assuming it's on her lip because it's pulled up I think because I want to be clear at these are pristinas. So what made you select this? Well, I just think it's interesting that

I like when people acknowledge what other people are writing in the comments the negative Why would you acknowledge the negative attribute that's just because y'all I say and I have big gums like don't That is a good. That is an interesting thing because uh, you're just get you're letting them have it You're letting right. Yeah, um, what is the surgery? Did she get the surgery? Is it a medical thing? Or is it like a guys now you're delving too deep, but we don't know No, it's not it will never delve even up on this. Yeah She does have a lot of gums, but she is gummy. So I also fucking like girls kind of with a lot of gum You do you like it like big teeth too? Yeah. Yeah, I like that. I do. Do you like them gummy now?

No, maybe not gummy, but like that that like she like I mean, I wouldn't you know, but she She's that's okay. That does not not weird to me. Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine, right? Yeah So I've noticed a lot of people think it's cool to be evil or like listen to evil music. This guy noticed that That's not cool. What real punk is is following god Jesus because he loved you first and he will come in first. Amen so What type of like cycle you think he's been on to get there? You know, I mean he hasn't been like this his whole life This is like, you know, I mean this is personality six or something. Yeah, you're so right

Identity he used to listen to Dave Matthews and wear fucking v-necks. Yeah And then he fell in the heroin and then he came out of it. Of course. He's definitely yes And he's transgender Jesus. Now there's this a whole new lane on the talk where people are going. Whoa, stop. Stop. Don't scroll Let me pray for you. And so he prays for people. He tells you that Jesus is like punk as fuck So there's a whole there's a whole new lane on the talk. I want to meet these guys man It's it's this kind of shit where it's like, I don't have guests on my podcast, but like I want to have a guest like that Yeah, I'm gonna be my first guest. So what's up and I come I start mad This is episode fucking 203. What's up, man?

Tell me what's going on, dude. You got five fucking minutes. I hope it's good. I hope it's good What's this baby? Oh Oh My I I thought that same thing. It's a cool guy. Just that's a cool guy with the under armor. Look how messy his sweater is I mean, I know his face is bad, but like Get another because you know why because that's the worst hoodie I've ever seen in my life It's just fucking a big under armor thing and then look how messy it is, dude. I know

Any mess on a hoodie or something like I want to take it off of course If you because here's the thing if you have a hoodie You have another hoodie, right Nobody even somebody who's dirt rat fuck poor. He has one hoodie. I know you have multiple Because a hoodie is not something you need, but what do you think is on his face? He has somebody was fucking with him when he was passed out. Now. Here's here's the best part Pull that dude's pull that dude's ankles. So he's not

Yeah, like his friends suck, dude. Yeah. Yeah, he's prop him up a little prop prop him up or pull him down This is why you're here. See chris understands the nuances of all these talks. You get it. Yeah, it's about nuance Don't see it Okay, here we go. Here is to all you hate and ass bitches that have zero followers That always have something smart ass to say about somebody's video Fuck you. Fuck your mom. Fuck your dad. Fuck your family and fuck you, bitch Wow, I love it. And I knew you liked that one. That was for you. That was for you when somebody Chooses social media to target. Yeah

Haters and express aggression, you know, sometimes you see it in written form where they're like, I don't even know There's no real fucking friends out there. And if you're not my fucking friend, you don't even need to be following me And you're like, what is all this stuff coming from? But this fuck you this the real vocal aggressive fuck you that was for you That was specifically for you. It started with fuck you and ended with and fuck you and fuck you This the finally fuck you too. It was it came it was like inception. It came to the you know But what I don't what I love is You don't have haters, right? No, you made it all up. Yeah Who's hating you

Like they're your friend is upset with you or what? Yeah one person Or they'll or this will be like a message for like If I don't have any if if you're not gonna be my real friend and you're just talking to like one person who didn't text you back How many followers can feeling some type of way have like it's not She doesn't have followers. Like there's nobody hating you crazy. This is like the she's mad like because like nobody like on her birthday Nobody fucking right Exactly what it is. You know what I mean? That is exactly what it is. This is a PSA for everybody on tiktok Me and my wife have not forget why we started the tiger pack. Oh

To protect people from being bullied Oh To get them off this app Oh, well that will never happen for down syndrome Anybody with disabilities? Sure To keep having fun A lot of fun to help get pedophiles off this Okay, so it went back and then went true

Yeah Just because we show each other love doesn't mean it's all about us Whoa We know we why we started this the tiger pack. I don't want if anybody comes at me and my wife I just want to say real quick. Well, okay. I mean that's a cliffhanger But go ahead Well, I'm just a big fan of the camera positioning and lighting because it's always a good idea to film from underneath

Also into a spotlight That is very bad, but put it this way. The guy probably hasn't taken many pictures So, you know, you know when a fan comes up and you're like, all right, come over here the lights over here Yeah, yeah, okay. The guy doesn't get that and that's fine. It's nice. Let's not fault him for that Let's fault him for the affliction shirt dude any shirt We just talked about let me tell you this is talked about this shirt a shirt that has a fucking Tattoo on it. Yeah is the worst because just get the tattoo or don't wear the shirt. Don't wear the shirt It's so fucking

It's hideous. It's flammies are Idiot why so many there's a type of man that gravitates to those shirts. It's the divorced really divorced You watch tiger king. Yes. Jeff. Oh my god. Jeff Lowe is working On a fucking farm in oklahoma. He's like got my affliction shit on chains and bandanas and yeah You're like, what are you doing and the biker jacket? What are you doing? What are you doing? You're out in a field? It's like I love I love when a fat guy gets a leather jacket like oh Oh, dude, you're sexy now, bro

bro, bro dude Hit the treadmill Die it and then get the leather jacket. That is Fuck it. Play the part. Do the actual thing that you are not the thing because you've seen too many movies. Right. I love it I will attack back If anybody attacks anybody if any members of our family Just such a long message. I will be right there helping

I don't care who it is Everybody keeps shining This is that was a good one. That was a really good one. That was a good one. Thank you. That was a really really good one And so most people would just want to stand up for one of those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah to make that your mission Yeah, I mean This ability But also also staying having fun was one of them. Yeah having fun. That's mine, but But this guy

Now, I mean, I hope he doesn't consider this fucking with his family. No us joking. We're not We don't want any smoke. So please don't That's okay I don't like children in that way. This isn't a fucking Serbian film or Herbert the pervert or michael jackson And I'm not the pause And I into many I'm done responding. You know what I'm gonna block every single one of you. Nice. Who suggests I like men Because I know Why is he doing oh wow

Shut the fuck up. Yep. Nice or die. That was for the death or die. That was for the death when he gave the finger Dude, my favorite. Is he still going? Yeah If you keep asking this I'm gonna wonder who dig you out when you're six feet buried under under. Nice and stutter Didn't wasn't sure how Oh my His mom's his mom's in the other room. His mom's in right. He's doing the yelling. He's doing the yelling. He just Yeah, why is it?

No, no, no I'm gonna piss myself. He just watched the movie twister, you know when they're like when they do the fucking yelling when they're just like We got the acting the acting yelling. Yeah, I hate that's what he's doing the fucking shit when the when the Fuck wait a minute. When actors don't yell wait because actors when they're doing the scene It's not really making all that noise right and they add it later. So they end up doing it like this It's always such bad acting. So wait You just yell like normal like you should go over here. You're just like boy the fuck over here. Yeah, and then they'll just Yeah, I saw that

We can have you Hello, fantastic. You are great pedophile creep and even this guy would be the other guy wouldn't stand for it It was so hard to watch that because I loved we love you so much and I was like, you know, he's a good guy the people Uh I've gotten so many comments that like hey, man, um How was that decision? Was it weird? Now that you played that like did you not think it about doing people have said Have you not did you not think that through and I was like and I and I and I was like, what do you mean?

And they were like, well, because you played like a pedophile and I was like Do you know what acting is? Like it doesn't mean I'm a pedophile Like I don't understand what the look it's like bad. Look man. Like acting. You did a fantastic job. You were fantastic Season two of you sometimes I look at like sometimes, you know, because when you do a part in a movie or a show or something they'll be like What do you think of this? Do you want to wear this? Do you think the character would wear that? I've always just been like, yeah, whatever you think. Yeah

And I did that for you obviously because like the guy supposed to be a douchebag and stuff and then I and then I uh like watched um Hobbes and Shaw And they all look so good in all of their outfits. Yeah, no matter what now I get that those are action movie stars, but I'm like, oh man, you could you could look good and stuff You know what I mean? You could just say no and then just get a good outfit. Yeah, you could just You did look good. You look so stylish though. They're really good. Yeah, they're cool. You look great. You're very photogenic Camera loves your face. Yeah, I like you way more on camera than

Yeah, I'm real life. That's that I'd rather that you're not a good trans woman Yeah, do you want to go down your next talk here? These are great. I gotta say thank you. Yeah, these are great I appreciate your appreciation Hello, same guy. This is michael jackson in a medium Oh, wow, I don't have so much time. So I'm going to go ahead and say it. Listen. I was a pedophile There's some things I wasn't proud of I'm a ghost now. I'm in her talking through her I'm sorry. You want to say something?

Well so much, I mean Like the fact that michael jackson would would feel now was the time like to come clean and through her is odd Yeah, it's a picky lan musk Right Or yeah, it is an interesting choice that he was like, I gotta come back that she picked a lady from the Drew Carey show Mimi

Right and to come out on tiktok, which is interesting too. Yeah, it's a hot app. He could have Could have chosen like a news anchor or something right right in the middle of a news thing Barbara walters. Oh my god, michael jackson. By the way, I'm a pedophile and this is michael jackson I'm wolflets and I'm a pedophile You're in the situation room and just you know, I've become michael jackson and I fuck it Oh my god, you would never see him again ever anywhere. They would immediately fucking throw him in a van You would never see him again I love hypothetical shit like that

Okay, uh, she's my wife because doesn't really enunciate so well now I cut her hair off because I'm like You know, I'm gonna stop that one. Yeah, that's too much. You know what she was gonna say She was gonna say because I like short hair, but then she realized. Oh my god. Jackson doesn't like short hair Right. I can't say that. She's a fucking phony next next Wow, this is Kathleen. Here she is. I'm the medium and wife of the ghost of michael jackson Oh and the wife and I want to talk about our fight that we had this morning Over me wearing earrings

By the way, didn't you always you always said that like you can tell Things about a woman by how she applies her makeup and 100% and what how would you describe it for a listener? Okay, uh pencil thin eyebrows are always a sign of severe mental illness And then when you line the lips in a color that's different from the actual lipstick color That's a good choice. That's highly mentally ill. Yeah, she's got a lot of problems. She's got some mental illness and a lot of mental All right, there you go videos Where I channel him And yeah, she does I don't know something about her really puts me. I think maybe it's michael

Um to go to the next one. Yeah, this is a book. Um, I got my fingernails done a little while ago and I am Gay. Okay. All right trans. Sure. Okay. I want to find somebody Okay, that's it. Are you that somebody? Well, that was a really that was a really like Almost touching and sad. Yeah. Um, I love the the the ha ha ha joker hoodie He asked dude. Have you seen the guys that dress up and think they're really joker for really?

I'm sure you have that sounds like a very your mom's house thing to fucking cover. Yeah Well, I just thought that it was an interesting choice for a singles ad like I had my nails done And a trans and I'm looking for someone like it was a strange train of thought It wasn't a coherent easel. So, you know, this guy's like, oh, yeah, no, I don't do those dating sites and then we'd use tiktok tiktok to find it Listen up people. This is how you do your push-up one two three

four five six seven eight Nine so far he's done one. Yeah, that was not good push-ups at all Really? I was actually that was one and one and three fours. He was fucking the grass That's how I do a push-up. He does way more than me. That's uh

Nice park. By the way, is that a seminal hat? I thought it was two. Um, by the way, it's uh, there's a repeat guy He's familiar to me. Yes. He's a fitness fitness influencer. Yeah No, I was going to say that she has shown me his work before Yes, his talks got you a huge fan. He is talked locked and ready to rock That's good, dude. Yeah How does it get weirder? It started weird and then it got weirder It did and I I was about to close that folder the only picture the only thing

I mean that guy's only got a beard on his neck the third guy. No face beard. Did you notice that? No. Oh, yeah, look That's the weird Pause it when you see it. Yes Pause it when you see it Wow What is it going? I've never seen that before in my life the chin strap Look, let me tell you something right now that guy right there is the grossest man I've ever seen in my life What he's doing what he has with his neck

He's fucking the off. I mean, dude, it's awful. Just awful everything. That guy sucks So I know I felt like we had a strong contender for you there, too Ew Oh my god, seven hours Wow He's got cool tats you left tattoos Why does the guy have this slut had to like his thug life

Dude, this is so gross. Yeah When did this has to this looks like when did he get all this shit on? I think he's been working on it for a while Um, yeah, it's not like a one-and-done thing. You don't think you don't think like you don't you don't he didn't start at 20 No, no, that's the thing 40 his uh, watch his sign off because he signs off here Stupid fucking pig. Hey Let's make pig norman summerton This tits Well, bye-bye for now deviance catch you later on and then this

Bye-bye. He looks so happy right there. Yeah, who's miss talon? That's his good. This is cuckold master. He's her property And then here's the thing are some of those markers and some of those tats or are those all Because they look kind of faded to be like a fresh marker. I think they're tats because that's how tattoos look after they've been I but also like on his um head. He's got a pig Now and I don't do it. It's stop playing with your tits. That's so Gross that is the whole point. Oh and and and uh, and here's the thing. Um About the if that guy imagine that guy dressed up completely and with a hat you would have no idea. No, that's what we were saying Yes, and he's like there's mr. Somerville. Yeah in the mail. There's mr. Somerville the deli older man

Yeah, you would have no idea I like that about it. Yeah, there's the duality. I like that. Otherwise, I don't like it If he's that guy all the time out in public, I don't like it No, but if he hides it and then comes home and does that I like an aspect And imagine if you had the discovery of like you always see him at your coffee shop like always And then one day you just happen to stop at his house So you're like mr. Somerton and he was like, do you like my tits and you're like, oh my god He just takes off his hat. Do you have a snout and

Dude That's like I can't even like even when I was a kid when I would see my teacher at like the grocery store I'd be like just stay a teacher. I can't deal with this. What if he was your teacher? I feel like he's a teacher. Yeah, he does have teacher vibes. Yeah He's probably he probably is a teacher like like a junior high school teacher Which is why he's like torture pig tits. Can you help me learn long division? Here they are again Where are you from?

Isn't that the weirdest it's so strange dude have like Grandkids like that's the problem if you don't have kids and your kids don't have kids. Yeah If you are a kid you have to have kids otherwise your parents are fucked Like if you just imagine being someone and then you have and then you have kids And then your kids are 40 and 45 and 50 and they don't have kids and you're a grant and you're that and you're And you're just like well, what the fuck was this all about then put a dog leash on me. There you go Well, I'll shave my face, but not my neck

Don't you dare don't you feel like that that like these people and this guy are like Just could you could just dial it one notch and they could be sadistic and keep you in a dungeon Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah 100. I think these are kind of the scariest people I've ever seen in a weird way, right like they got Yeah, yeah, you know it's on the brink of insanity. Yeah, I mean well, they're on public This is like if I'm one of these guys ask me what my favorite movie is. Hey, what's your favorite movie? I was like shut That's how quick and that yeah, that's how quick they do it and that's what it is I feel like these guys, I mean this guy has a Ridiculous collection, you know, I mean of of pornography like things that you have you can't even imagine

You know, what's really alarming too is that we've had people that are into pup play Which is where they put on like a pup mask and they put a tail up their ass whatever it's done in closed quarters It's done between four walls. Yeah, this is out in the streets of like in a square. Yeah. Yeah. It's way creepier though Yeah way creepier Whether I want to laugh or cry, but you ready for this I'm three and a half weeks pregnant and found out today Oh So congratulations

Hey, that's the name of your podcast Because I sure in the hell don't have words for this Oh my god I've been How is this Yeah, because I'm catching this for tiktok because I want Good too late already been mentioned Yes, oh

Three and a half weeks pregnant There's no such thing. No, not really need to be four to be. Yeah to be four or Look at him just getting the paper I kind of liked that. He's like, you know what you're being kind of an asshole. Yeah and put me out there like this I had that lamp growing up in my house I thought too Okay, should I switch to your corona ones? Sure if you guys feel these are great. Thank you Hi ladies

If prisoners on death row get a last meal Are all the lonely ladies at tiktok give me something good to eat before the virus gets me That's like the best one. Why do a lot of them stick their tongue out? Why is that so that's the worst thing to do. It's the worst. I mean if you like chicks though chicks like that Chicks like they're true. They go like, oh, I like to have my box eaten. How would you eat it? And you go? That feels good. You do that to me as a joke all the time and it's horrible. It's disgusting It's good girls. Don't like that. Nobody like you know, I just showed me something. This guy's cool work earlier. This guy here Yeah, he's this guy. Yeah, so do you feel like? Yeah

That maybe 30 years ago He he got laid a bunch and it's just been a while So he goes like maybe like when when he was getting laid He could walk up to chicks and do shit like that. So he goes like bring that bring that back out See if that works on the talk. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely because he's probably just not meeting people now Right and he used to probably go to concerts. Like I feel like he was like a rock guy

And you could probably you know, you're at some fucking aerosmith concert girls like six beers deep and you smoke away and you can go like And they're like It's a numbers game. Yeah. Yeah He's like someone in these comments is going to be like, hey I like where you're going. He's kind of a trashy guy. Yeah. He's at like a Ted Nugent concert or something stupid Yes, yeah, I got you and then when he does the tongue thing sometimes there's a chick who's like that's what I like There's enough people in the world. Yeah, that's you can do that and then have a fan somewhere Listen up idiots. Oh

Coronavirus is not a goddamn joke people on here joking about coronavirus and like Pretending they have it and dropping dead. Like are you joking? It's coming. It's not funny Wow. Yeah with the Yeah, the zoom and also The words listen up idiots on it on the thing even though she said it Yeah, I just liked her intensity At style hard very intense. I mean Hair

So this was posted when we were told to quarantine this was like So this is spring break like a week ago or whatever in fart louder deal God those fucking pieces of shit that this fucking you're looking at one Dude, yeah You're a bad person. Yeah, I like that one interview where they're like, it's our break man. Yeah, and we've been waiting It's like I I you know I'm a white guy and I can't stand that people are like white man or the problem and because it's annoying And then you see that and you're like, all right. All right. Yeah, everyone's a problem. Yeah, sure

Everyone white men are a problem. Everyone on that supercut. We're white guys Like like when that news piece first went out. Oh, yeah, everybody was like watching it It was just like white guy blonde girl white guy and they were all like I want Met a party and I wanted a party. Yeah, and you're like great. It's a great because we've been planning this That's the best the app speak. Yeah. Yeah, totally. I've been one of the clubs out here all semester Oh, okay A lot of people are asking me. Do I think the corona virus is a sign of the end times? Oh really, Billy? My answer to that is Absolutely. Yes, but then they'll ask me but wait a minute. There's been pestilences for a long time

Why do you think this is any different? And I would just say I don't think the corona virus is any different I think the last 100 years of sicknesses on the earth is different from the 1918 spanish flu to the hiv pandemic To now the corona virus to what we've seen over the last 10 to 20 years SARS MERS h1 n1 There is a huge increase In sicknesses and viruses and pestilences Yeah, sorry. This wasn't no. No. No. No. No. It's definitely worth seeing Oh, Jesus. That's why I forgot

That pestilences would be a sign of his coming. So I absolutely believe the lord's Is he pronouncing that right? Jess is coming. Well, he didn't spell it right. Jess is coming. Oh, yeah Pestulences, but pestilence. I don't know plural pestilence. I think it's still Chris you're smart. Oh, no, the plural of pestilent. No, not night. No other chris. Both chris Uh plural pestilence, but is he it looks like it says pestilence Pestilence, but he said pestilence pestilence like flatulence. Oh, right pestilence pestilence. It's pestilence not pestilence Correct. Um, well this guy, uh I like how we said a lot of people have been asking me is at the end of the time and then I say yes

And then they say and then another thing which means more than how many people asked him these two questions in a row You're fucking horseshit From nobody asked 21 10 and 11 Pestulences would be a sign of pestilence. Yeah, I absolutely believe the lord's coming is near Jess is coming soon ready. Oh get your heart. That was the message of get your heart Follow this psycho. Is it shit like this 24 seven? Of course, of course I'm big into like the religious nuts now on tech talk. Do you ever connect to something as a jewish guy? Do you ever see

Like a christian like vocal guy like this and you just go why didn't they round up these guys? You know, what why is it always us? Like what is up with these christians? Um, I mean, do you guys like talk about that all the time? Like do we do we talk about it? Like at your meetings, you know, what do you like our weekly meetings you guys get together like what the fuck is up with these weird as christians? Um, I mean it has always been weird because we've never been ones to recruit right. So seeing recruitment is like Yeah, like we should we shun people away three times before we actually Yeah, so the way to go. It's the way to go. It is the way to go. God damn. Yeah, what more here Just want to give a little shout out to the cdc

Who's trying to instill fear and christians and non christians by their little posts that they put on every single person That talks about the coronavirus I am your local authority. I'm a board certified psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner And jesus told me to go back to school. So I'd be given the authority to Not prescribe if I want so Guys, don't be afraid the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom. I would take her on a date Right. I would take her out because she's crazy. She's wise. Yes, you know what?

The the uh, that one is kind of you can that one is kind of sad to me. You can see that she's like so Not well And it's not fun enough to be Oh, you you sense It's like I feel like she clicked that off of that and then just was real sad Yeah, you know like the michael jackson lady clicked it off and thought great Yeah, yeah, I got I got that one's in the can Right, but she clicked it off and just sat down and was like

Should I don't know I sense a lot of moxie because her name is at warrior bride. She is a god warrior good Good observation You know, that's a good fucking observation. I I I got to say that's a good fucking observation Yeah, she was like I am I'm fucking doing it for god today. That's a good fucking. Yeah, you might have changed my mind She's sad and angry too. Yeah, I see I see emptiness. I see Darkness I see a lost, you know, like like troubled person. Yeah, but I'm also very attracted to it You know, and I feel like you like the broken wings. I do I I would I would ask her like I'd be like Can you leave all these fucking chris, you know, cdc sending out this bullshit like I would

Yeah, I'd feed into it and be like take her out I'd like to see so fucking stupid, you know, do one of those things tell me what to do all the time The smartest people that we have there. Yeah, but to really get her going you should start to really get her going You should start off with you know, I was thinking Never mind It's a what what what I probably shouldn't say this but the cdc. Yeah That's not where it's at. Yeah, they don't know and then she would be like, no, no, I'm glad you said that Let me tell you

So stupid Oh my god, I said I like girls with big teeth. You did you? The music Okay There's so much unpack. Yeah, I mean first of all I think my by far my favorite part is She is uh There's this part where she uh At cheddar

She does a uh She darts her eyes go to the right like am I are you sure like what she goes? He's right there She goes like is that right like did I put him in right because it doesn't feel right. That's good. And then I If gives a thing it feels so uncomfortable That she's smiling like that. She's smiling like this doesn't feel good Like in my mouth, you know

Those are not Natural looking and she's afraid to smile too big because they'll pop right out. Of course they will is this the mask Before after a cut she says all are smoking whatever the Folks Dude cheddar. She's that you know, I think she's a pretty woman. She's a she's okay. She looks better without teeth Can you play the whole thing again? Yeah, sure, of course Hey, look Oh, wow, those look really cool and natural. That's really good. That looks good. Are those perfect smiles. That was a perfect smile

Okay I Those actually look so the dart the eye dart. Let me see Those are perfect. Did you put the bottom ones in the top? I think so. Yeah, those look like bottom Those are not the perfect smile those are for halloween. Oh Where's the perfect smile? Did we lose them? Why do you guys have multiple things to put in your mouth back there? I don't know the perfect smile is always a

I guess it's at home. How the fuck do you lose the perfect smile? Josh says maybe it's in the drawer Yeah, we looked You have josh put them away Put away the teeth josh. Here we go. Look at that Those are enormous get smaller ones. Yeah I can go out now. No, those are no. How much she sound with those in too, you know what I mean Oh The fuck was was too short. Hey, I'm cheddar. What up come drinkers. There we go, dude

I'm gonna tell you why is that Jeremy renner tick tock To leave my last fucking talk or whatever. Fuck you don't ask question dude a guitar in the bathroom What I'm gonna do. This is the only thing I could think of A guitar in the bathroom hanging he rocks dude. You don't fucking rock when you you don't Rock Rock dude. I'm doing it wrong at schizo bonking. Did they take down the one that I loved? Like where he was like, uh, yeah, what up cunts that one that's gone Yes, and now he's changed his name to schizo bonking because they took aggressive in the beginning. So aggressive the leg up

First of all, fuck you. That's the guy, right? I started again. What is it? It's him. Okay tranquility. It says in the back What up come drinkers? I'm a little bit fucking pissed off. I'm gonna tell you why Fucking tick tock To leave my last fucking talk or whatever. Fuck you don't ask questions Okay, go. So what I'm gonna do. This is the only thing I could think of to take my aggression out on tick tock Shit

Shit Everything There's a whole lane of talkers that where tick tock will take down their content and then they get mad and post these like Do you know what his other one's called his original one? It says tranquility in the back. Is this guy a character? There's too much irony. It's I know it does feel like I don't know Almost done How are you? I hope you're feeling better. I heard that you're in a hospital from your family member just text nick

If I need to say something to you guys I gotta put on tick tock. Hey guys, I'm I'm five minutes late for the podcast I'll be there. Sorry. I think I went in the back way Sorry, Tom. Sorry, Christina. Why don't they know that this is a worldwide platform? Like why don't they know like the guy the guy who's like crying? There's a guy who posts on here and he's like, I'm sorry I'm sorry. Um, please call me back. Like it's a text message It's not a text message. What are you doing? So, uh Okay, like do you think they're just a low IQ like yeah, I don't know. I don't know

I don't know Man, we're let me see I'm so dying to know. I just don't understand either and there's such it's such a good lane Yeah, it is. I like the private messages Nick Yeah Nick, why won't you call me back and then this guy's really sad and he's like, I love you so much Is this the guy? No, it's somebody else

Guys, this should be my last video for a while Sorry, I was uh And then there's those where they're like, I'm getting off a tick tock. That's my favorite Sorry, I've been absent online lately, but who gives a fuck. I'm going to delete my social media I'm sorry, baby. This is what it's called. Hi. Nookie monster. I wrote you ladies Nookie monster Put your legs on my shoulders So

Crushed my skull between Not funny Baby So not funny There you go. The tongue sign off The one you're looking at is I'm sorry, baby. If you want to look it up. Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Our word a guy who's like Yeah Let's see

So you wouldn't do this to your Lady Oh friend lady interest little tongue wag and singing a dirty song. I do it to my girl sometimes I'll just look at her and I'll go And she goes don't do that and I and I laugh bullshit. She gets turned. That's what I'm saying, dude Yeah, I say. Oh, yeah, then check your panties. Yeah She doesn't so you know, she's lying. Yeah, so can wet Check your panties

The most useful one point chinese class teaching you the most useful chinese phrases. Okay today's sentence is I give good head Here's how it goes in chinese What What Okay, hold on you're missing the next part. Okay, dude. You can also say My parents give good heads What

Does this guy I think this is funny, right? This guy thinks this is I like it. I like my parents What I thought it was funny. I liked it. No, you don't you think it's funny in the reason that he doesn't want you to think it's funny Yeah, which is why we think it's funny. But if you break it down what he's doing Just why is it? I think we're burned out. Are we done last one? I don't want. Hey guys, just to my workout again These are my favorites. I know my ass been great though. So Oh

Showed the cock root there. It's good. It's a home workout. No weights included, but you know gotta give play it again, please That's great. This is my favorite one. Yeah. I just Guys got to work out. He's got a fucking. What do you call a selfie stick? Hey guys, just to my workout again Uh, fucking things kicking my ass What Uh, just fucking just you know what He's kicking my god. I hand it to him. He's sexy and then he's gonna show this cock root. Yeah, really? Oh, yeah, go back. Oh, did he show already? He already did it, but you can pause it

my workout again Fucking things kicking my ass Great though. So Yeah, there we go. Okay. He just kicking my Ass That is the best part. It's great though because he's being spontaneous. He's in the moment. Yeah, he is no script I'm just trying to show you the goods and he's like, what can I say? Like he saw himself in the mirror and he was like, I look fucking yeah, and I just worked out

I'll make a video but he didn't think about what he was gonna say. So then he's like, I'm fucking kicking my He's in great shape though. Yeah, he is It's good. It's a home workout. No weights included, but you know gotta give Is this for guys or girls the intent? Well, well, I think it's for girls, but guys like it. But yeah Yeah, any girl definitely guys that sees that and then goes wow, that's interesting. It's a fucking loser. Yeah Yeah Any girl that would be like god damn like you've just been inside for so long I mean, maybe this pandemic is making it work. But yeah, I think this is for a male audience

I'm I just feel like gay guys like to do The humble brag about working out Charlotte? Yeah, I don't know. Is this what Burt looks like? I can't ever tell. But I fucking hate the the post workout brag video. It makes me crazy. It's real tired right now. Yeah It's fine. You know, I did a bit on that on a on a man on a man on fire about how like you're not inspiring anybody and now Because I work out I'll post Pictures when I'm working out people like you fucking are what you hate and I'm like, dude, I'm not doing that Yeah, you're not doing what I'm not saying. Hey, dude. Do these work, you know kill it, you know, we got this you can make it

I don't give a fuck what you do You can do it just push through it. Yeah Yeah, just like you're like I the fact that guy's like this and he's not really doing this But the fact that guys that workout treat it like it's like changing the world That's true That drives me nuts. You're you know It's just you're not doing anything. You're not doing you're just you're you're working out. That's it. Yeah, that's all you did You're not carrying cancer that bothers me

I don't like it when people that goes back to like when you think you're acting away and you're acting the other way Like what we're talking about earlier my nightmare Yeah Um, oh my god, I mean my head hurts from laughing Let's talk A really weird fucking thing, man. I think tiktok is the thing that made me realize like I'm older Yeah, like, you know, yeah, like I'm just like I did a few joke ones as a joke, you know, you guys did too and like

but it's like People are like do more and I'm like I did one or two like and it's so not It's funny for me to you're good at social media stuff I like I I do like doing it, but not but tiktok is just it's The thing about tiktok is it's only funny to me because it's so cringy So if I'm doing that it's funny, but it's still cringy, right? You know what I mean? You're still doing it Like if I'm trying to make it funny because it's cringy. I still there's a part of me that looks at it

And I'm just like, oh god. Yeah, you know, yeah But I like I like a fan base and I like making people laugh So if I know I can make people laugh on social media, I do that What did you say that you had a funny one? It was on instagram where you were like your friend was like, oh, it's gonna rain Oh, dude. Yeah, what did he say? He was saying This is the kind of shit that this kind of stuff This is so you to me. Yes, you're right. You're right. Okay. So he says He says hey, man

It's uh, it's supposed to let me just fucking find it. Hey, man. It was supposed to it's supposed to rain tomorrow Oh Uh, oh, that's what it was. He said it's supposed to hey, man. It's supposed to rain him. It's supposed to rain tomorrow I said, oh, yeah. I said, oh, yeah. I said, oh, that's crazy. You know, that's it. Whatever. Yeah later on We're walking down the street and I said man. It's fucking cold And he said I told you I told you I told you that and I said really and he said yeah I told you it's gonna rain tomorrow and I said Well that no, that's not what you fucking said. Yeah, you didn't say you didn't say that you said it's gonna rain tomorrow

And he said well because it's gonna rain tomorrow. It's gonna be cold I said you can't use that for fucking saying what you said you only said the thing you can't get extra credit Right for the other shit. No, that's it. People do that all the time. Yeah, it was implied. Don't you fucking say I'm a demon Um, I'm trying to find it. You know what I really fucking hate on social media Is when people celebrate non-holidays or like happy international women's day. Oh, right. Yeah happy national cupcakes day And they're like, it's not stop trying to make it a fucking thing. It doesn't exist. You don't have a post here. Here's what happened There it is right there, that's it, right? That's it. You want to play it? That's that one. Yeah that one You can play it. That's it. Um, if it's better to sound on this. Yeah

What about what about what he did? Yeah, what did you guys send it to the group? Yeah, here's what Dan did yesterday This is unbelievable. Dude. My friend Dan did this yesterday in case this goes anywhere, but the fucking group text Okay, dude, he looks at me and he goes like this early on in the night He says, you know, it's gonna rain tomorrow and I say, oh cool It's gonna rain tomorrow. Cool. And then later on in the night I'm walking around and I'm like, man, it got cold today. Didn't it? And he said, well, I said it was gonna get cold I told you that and I said you did and he goes. Yeah. I said, when did you say that? He says, well, I said it was gonna rain tomorrow and that's unforgivable, dude

That is unforgivable. Did you, as him saying it's gonna rain tomorrow? To the fact that it's gonna get colder and for him to act like he knows shit when he doesn't know Yeah, I agree with me. I agree with me. And fuck him, dude. And then also though, it's today Yeah, and it's not raining and it's not fucking raining. Dan's a piece of shit. I agree with me. I agree with me Dude, I agree with me and here's all we have or what we say, man So if you say some shit and then you didn't and you act like you're saying the shit for the other thing I can't trust you, dude That's like a guy who gets a fucking truck and then gets the fucking with the flatbed and then gets the thing that goes on

The flatbed. Yeah, and and and it covers the flatbed and it's like, all right, bro I can't trust you. Right. You want the truck or you want the fucking car? Yeah, you can't do this half-stepping shit, man I agree with you. I agree with you Oh my god. All right, um, so Just a reminder to everybody, you're gonna know it's gonna be everywhere. Yeah, but go to netflix now that you you Watch this amazing podcast go to netflix Watch no pain and then watch the back catalog if you haven't yet seen it Um, congratulations, man. It's very exciting. Thanks, man. Congrats. I can't wait to see it. Thanks. You're very funny

We love you. I love you guys. Quarantine is really gonna fucking boost everything. Yeah, I mean people are at home So that's great. Yeah, turn it on hopefully they suffer for a little while longer and So I can so I can get the views of views And uh, no, it's exciting. Thanks for coming, man. We love you very much. Thanks, man. Love you guys. You're great. Bye guys Open It's like equine diarrhea I've seen a guy shit in alley. It's not a guy shit downtown Anytime you have the urge to shit, you would just drop trial and just go

What are you doing, bro? Public defecation. Shitting in public. It's it's popping right now. That's very hoppy Drop trowel drop trowel Drop trowel drop trowel. Yeah, it's urban living drop trowel drop trowel Drop trowel drop trowel Open defecation Take two shirts this morning Open defecation Open defecation

I'm gonna really shit my pants lately Open defecation Open defecation Yeah It's popping right now It's like equine diarrhea Man, have you ever shit outside? I saw a guy shit downtown. Anytime you have the urge to shit, you would just drop trial and just go Public defecation. Shitting in public. It's it's popping right now. That's very hoppy

You miss 100 of the dicks. You don't try to stuff in your hole. That's blue man. That's your next project, dude