Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 550 - Jo Koy - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

Even though things start on a weird footing, we believe you will enjoy where things go. Was Fed Smoker the first victim of the pandemic? What’s a bigger deal breaker: Puppy Dog Pals or Wrestling? We have an update on The Great Key Mystery. “Before The 90 Days” leads us to ponder how to handle someones bad breath. Then things get REAL. We speak to Derrick, Norman Summerton’s tattoo artist. We learn more about Pig before we watch an earth shattering video which leads to a monumental moment on the podcast. Jo Koy is a comedian and global sensation. He walked into the lobby and things were real right away. Does Jo like poutine? Recently, Jo had to buy his mom a Mercedes. Good thing he’s in the top 10 of all touring acts this year! We meet a cool guy who knows what he wants out of a woman. We learn that Jo had messed up teeth back in the day and where his first big check went. Is Jo a “Master of Accents?” and Jo tells us how he would he handle the breath situation. Watch this brand new episode before you binge Puppy Dog Pals!

What's up Chomos? We're back. This is your mom's house. She's Christina. I'm Tom A lot of really exciting stuff to get into today. Yep. Yep. I keep it juicy juicy. I eat that lunch You see it from the front What's wrong? What happened your mood changed? What are you talking about? Are you okay? Yeah. Do you need love? No I'm okay Why? No, I love you. I want to have fun with you today. This is gonna be fun. What do you mean? Why wouldn't it be fun? What happened? Nothing. Well, you're saying that something happened

I like I thought you got a little good grumpy. I asked you a question about the thing and then you were snappy Well, I mean, I just was honest about it. I mean, no, I think you didn't agree with my assessment of it And then you think I did I did I said that I I thought we should take that away Yeah, so I just didn't I mean, I don't like to tell people they did a good job if they didn't You know, like I got that thing. I want to make sure that somebody's like, you know, I want to tell them You are completely retarded, you know retarded. So that's what I said to the guy. Okay. I kind of don't like how she says Retarded she's giving English lessons. I know but she's not saying it. She's she's mumbling the last part of the dead Oh, I know. I'm you are completely retarded. No, she's she's hardcore fun. That's her. Yeah, she's

She shouldn't be teaching English. No It's great. Are you ready for some hardcore fun? What are the ones that oh, yeah, let's Let me find this the opening thing. There's really so much good stuff today and we have a great guest coming in It's what's the title of it the one that I said I wanted to do Do you remember? Oh fan, I got it. I got it. Okay. Here's the opening clip. It's really fantastic I can't believe someone did this. All right, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jacob here at Costco Oh, my main priority is safety and sanitation. I need to make sure you are all following proto

So please maintain a six-foot social distance and keep feathering it Great Your mom's house with Tom Segura Welcome to your mom's house Oh What's that I just wrote feathering it and then I feel like I just designed some cool feathers. Oh, okay Do you have the Video of that master class clip

Do you work here? The master class video from your Instagram. Yeah Hold on. Let me bring that up. Do you did you not pull that? No, Jesus Christ, man You didn't say why wouldn't you just pull that automatically? Tom, I don't live in your brain, man. I don't know what you're thinking I don't know what's going on today with this one, but you know what it is. I didn't have it milked you in a few days I'm sorry guys. It's my fault. I haven't seen you dance so angrily to the intro ever You had such a crazy face on New York some's going on in there, bud

Thank you, thank you Thank you finally you being validated. I want to I want to make sure this though You saw that and wouldn't think to pull that that master class thing. I mean, am I supposed to pull everything? No, no, no, I'm just saying you saw that would you think that that was it's something we would play no for real sure I mean sure. Yeah, but I mean everything that you post is something that we would play. No Not everything that I post is something we would play. Come on. Okay you You really don't you really don't think I'm just I'm asking look. Yeah. No, no, no

Do you not think that that is show worthy that clip? Yes. Yes. I think it is show worthy What is happening today, what is going on? Are you talking about am I okay? What's going on? The children are scared. Everybody's scared dad is in a mood. Do you need a drink dad? What is it? What are you talking about? Take your milligrams? No What the fuck all right, I Can't even say that I'm sorry. Oh Oh Sorry guys, and I'm sorry Natov and I'm sorry to everybody. I didn't mean to come in here like that. Oh

Boy My bad, do you think it's cuz you haven't done stand-up in like a two months now? Probably. Yeah Yeah Yeah a little bit Okay, were you pretty pleased with sugar on top pull the master class thing up did you post it was a tag They're I posted it. Yeah, I posted this one Let's see. Yep, that's it Oh

Oh You know who you're talking to a retired double agent there you fucking Walk up boot a motherfucker right in the mouth shit right your hand is smeared in their face As long as things stay cool nobody gets the baby baby stay up you're working for me We'll go have some pussy as mother fucker put your hair for you when you're feathering it, but you're gonna get it going But I like your brain on fire. That's it's real motherfuckers All these kids this problem's on white lighty all these troubles when you have a teeth bother in the end Just pull over and take care of it

Thank you Now I have to get something to stop I'm drinking blood That is fucking fantastic that is a perfectly edited video, what's that guy's name? It's in the It says it's like a repost Squatch Ronce. Oh, I'm familiar with his work. Yeah, he also did he did the post before it where he Reposted some garth things That was fantastic really really good work, man, but that masterclass video. I mean I

See those masterclass ads all the time masterclass reminds me of books that I walk by that I go I want to read that book like I'm gonna learn that topic and then you see a masterclass pro Like, you know, have you seen their commercials? Yeah, I considered doing the Steve Martin stand up comedy A bunch of interesting ones, but then you realize it's like for absolute beginners. It's like it's like the idiots guide to Yeah, it's like Here's how you come up with a premise like it's it's really for people that are just in the very entry levels of stuff Yeah, I'm like, oh, that's not for me. I'm a master. Yeah. I'm the master But you could you could learn other stuff. I mean they have it for everything. Yeah, they have it for painting writing

I mean any art form. I want to do that. I want you cooking. Yeah, they have it for that, too Yeah, I want to do that masterclass looks actually really interesting. No, and if Fed smoker taught a master class I Forgot how My camera through the fence you faggot Yeah, I forgot how that's your instructor. You know, it's like you go to school every day I forgot how jarring it was to see him pull his own tooth out. Like I haven't seen it in a minute I'm like, well, that's really wild. Like that would have an actual Logical thought come into his mind where he's like I have to find something because I'm

Yeah, like you'd see that was his not yeah, the reality would go in and out and now and even like when you're feathering it Like he'd have moments of lucidity where he's like I'm on fire I shouldn't do this and you know, he really could be I guess we'll never know but he could be an early Corona victim Yeah, we don't know. We don't know nobody knows. We don't why do you what you don't think so? If Fed smoker is a Corona victim he died. I'm saying he died a couple months ago Which would have been like early early cases like under no one was really looking for it yet and he died He could have something tells me he could have had a compromised immune system. Yeah, right

Overall health was right. Yeah, burning your hair could probably introduce some germs Corona live on math that would be Because I think that's how we would know. Yeah, that's how you know. Yeah That's gnarly. Yeah, I mean he could have been I'm saying what if they actually went to Zoom his body now tested some tissue and they're like, oh, he was our first COVID Because he was in the United States. Yeah, he could have been eating the baths themselves. Yeah Do you think that Connell Peterson wouldn't visit a wet market. Oh, he started wet

He probably had a wet market in his apartment probably in the trunk of that car look like a wet market Fats and rats all kinds of she's one of these people that's an exotic pet catcher, right? Look in Florida these maniacs that grow alligators or whatever. Yeah. Yeah What douchebags, yeah unreal What's up, what are you thinking of your last episode of puppy dog pals? I Gotta tell you Puppy dog pals is a really good show Can you pull up like a still shot of like an image of that show?

It's a show Harlan Williams created a good friend Harlan Harlan Williams and he voices Characters bingo and roly so morning noon and night. I'm at home. I'm watching Puppy dog pals I'm through Season four right now You guys want to binge and really Enjoy a show during quarantine highly recommend Puppy dog pals what it's Cuz what all this one episode bingo and Raleigh they like because bingo had taken all the treats and Raleigh was like Where are they and it turns out bingo was hiding them to share them?

It was a really cool episode and it taught you about friendship and sharing Now we were talking about cuz I was watching we were watching this with our older boy and You know, it's it's definitely For kids, what would you do if your significant other was just? Always watching puppy dog as an adult like cat like what would you do if you came home and I was on the couch like what are you doing? I was like just watching Puppy dog pals. What are you doing? Do-do-do-do-do-do and would you be like what it it would have to be a deal breaker of sorts Do you think it's a deal breaker? I think so. What if everything else was this was the same?

Well, I'm like why is my grown husband? What about puppy dog pals is enticing to you? I love their friendship I love the songs. I love the stories Like they play in the mud this one episode. It's hilarious. I Would think that you had diminished capacity mental Diminished diminished capacity, you know what I'm saying. Do you understand what I mean? No Do you mean not as smart as some other people your age we're a tardy. Yeah, yeah Oh, it'd be so great. What if we were making sweet love and after you were like sitting there laughing to yourself You know what if I was like, oh my god, I

Just realized bingo didn't find the stick He's because that Raleigh threw the stick and bingo went to look for it and never got it And I but I think the hardest part is for the spouse who has to listen to the puppy dog Pells plots because they're very simple simple plots. Yeah, and even when I talked to Ellis about it He's like he went to the he went to the wall and he found the tree And I'm like, yeah, he found the tree and then he brought it back to share Like, you know, it's not exciting for me to watch it And then I have to know what no and then I'd have to listen to you recapping it and getting really stoked

I'd be like this guys are worded. What if I came in like like in a rush? I was like, hey, hey, and you know what I go. Did you guys start puppy dog pals? Can you put it back on you start from the beginning cuz I I haven't seen this episode yet, you know, I had it was like game of throne I was like Fucking you gotta go to the beginning so I follow the story Right like you couldn't you had to watch them all in sequential order And you don't know what happened with bingo and the last one bingo didn't have a bell in his collar when the last episode ended When did he get it

Bingo loves to run. Why isn't he running in this episode? Yeah, you get all mad You think I'm trying to think if you were into that. No, I definitely would be like she's fucking stupid man Something had happened to me. I Couldn't tolerate that right? I'll tell you what I I dated I dated a guy for a summer Who was really into wrestling like really into wrestling and that's about the equivalent So many guys who love I think wrestling is for fucking retards, but it is but so many people Stupid as shit and I think you're a fucking tool

If you're like, yeah, hey, man, it's not fake. It's fucking fake and you're a fucking idiot. Yeah, but grow up They're not real fights These are just stunt people But imagine the fact that like guys are like, man, did you see the undertaker? That's who we love. He liked undertaker and he made me go to a WWE event in LA Pathetic, it's pathetic. I'll tell you what though. I'll tell you what yeah, it was actually pretty fun What was the event going to a live wrestling? Yeah, so is the special Olympics? It's fun to go to but It's not real. It's not a real competition

Of course not but some people do the people who think it's real. They are our word. It definitely they're completely retarded Yeah, it's for children. It's not for but when it's a male adult if you're over 11 and you're like You see smack down That's how this guy was and he knew all of them and then he tagged in his partner and then they grabbed a chair man, I Never thought we would see the day Yeah, I know that the bass Would hold the belt what the fuck is wrong wait and then he would tell me the saga

He's like and then you know Vince McMahon He's the bad guy and Vince own the whatever and I'm like, you know, that's how the ads for wrestling should be It should be like WWE This is for diminished capacity. That should be their tag for the fucking Wrestling we we we uneducated Christ. It's not a real sport. They're so dumb I mean, what do you like that or something? No, Josh Potter. Yes. No Potter is the one that likes He likes I thought he liked real sports. He also likes fake ones No, hey, all right, he's like a potter

I mean, I always see Buffalo Bill stuff and Sabres I figured it was I didn't realize that he actually still watched that still It's been a few years. All right, what happened in my adult life, but what happened a few years ago? It got real boring. I don't know. I just stopped paying attention. I actually had things to do You're an adult. Yeah. Yeah, I moved here and I had a life. Oh, yeah, and you got laid and you had a life I really took away. Yeah, my time in watching Monday Night Raw's Who was your favorite wrestler Rick flair Rick flair, but that was like as a kid. Yeah, he wasn't he's not been an active wrestler in How long well he actually has Really active well into his 60s really in fact

I went to WrestleMania in 2007 where Shawn Michaels retired him But was it like so was he like a part of the regular weekly rotation? Yeah, and then his daughter Became a wrestler and he came back and would like do Bullshit like as a manager kind of thing. Yeah You guys want to know more about wrestling. Yeah, so who as an adult was your favorite wrestler So Rick flair was your childhood hero and who was in your 30s Coolest Adam Cole is pretty cool right now. You should check him out. Okay, so Dave okay, what's worse? Okay. Okay. Here we go deal by the way. It is a deal breaker

What's it? What's it? If you were like no, no, I got a Monday Night Raw I'd be like well, here's the fucking Tuesday morning divorce papers. I got another one for you. Yeah, Tuesday Fucking ridiculous, I would not entertain that for a second. What would you rather have me be really into? Okay, I'm into wrestling hardcore like I'm like I I Immediately would be like you're way too stupid Rick flares my guy. I'm watching every match. Okay, or I'm into cosplay hardcore cosplay and I like to play storm from Justice League or whatever. Who's it called? What like I'm one of these

Characters and I dress up and I go to these conventions In a character. It's almost an equal trade-off, but here's why Wrestling is worth. It's worse. Yeah, it's worse because people pretend it's a sport So all the leave it. They like the people who are in college. They go like, yeah, we're pretending. This is pretend Spider-man You know, I acknowledge that this is we're jumping into this world people there's wrestling fans We're like, this is a real this is real. I mean, yeah That is the trouble with the fact that like there's that level of delusion

Involved in it It makes it worse because you can be like well and then like I know that the guys, you know They they keep it go like in interviews. They'll be like, well, it's not in the book Come step in the ring with me and find out Okay, okay, so okay, okay. I'm into wrestling. Yeah, or I don't believe in evolution and I think the earth is flat fuck And I'm always like well, you don't know that Tom the moon landing never happened. All right wrestling is pretty cool I guess I

Think they're more annoying those people who are anti-science. Yeah, that's true. Look, I'd like to apologize to all the wrestling fans out there who were insulted by What I said, you're not are worded The people who believe the earth is flat are dumber than you so dumb Those are the dumbest, right? Yeah, those are by far the dumbest people if we were just wiping out huge chunks of the population Which I believe yeah, who are we starting with I would say flat earthers. Let them go number one anti-vaxxers

Second gone. Yeah, I mean especially now in light of what we're going through like you mean it's all they're louder now They're louder now. Okay. Good. Good. Yeah, let's see who's lining up in a year from now They're louder and then yeah, I'd say wrestling third. So I'd say like rest people in wrestling. Yeah But I mean, you know then who oh There's so many I don't like Civil War reenactment people fourth. What are you doing that for? Why are you? Why are you reenacting a war that divided our nation? That was you know, and I mean like what what are you spending your time going back in history? It's such a way stupid fifth? Nadav six who

Kill him after this show. Why are you? Why are you having it out for my dog? Yeah, you just said you're gonna kill me Nadav too bad I What is going on with you in the dovetail? Oh, we're gonna work it out. Believe me what's going on nothing Nothing you want to kill him? I'm saying on a list. There's like 10 million people that just died before him Yeah, but he's seventh. That's not too far. That's a long time You got to round up all the flat earthers all the anti-vaxxers all the wrestling fan. I mean come on

That's a lot of people All right, I can't oh what about people that keep exotic pets I don't like them either now in line of that documentary that really painted them in a bad light Why would you need a tiger? What possible what possible reason do you need a crocodile or a tiger or a boa? You don't never need it. You don't need it at all. Yeah, this is these are these people are diminished capacity as well I know they're talked. They're totally talked. They're fully talked. That was by the way Jacob Tyler was our opening clip He's the guy that in Costco Said to follow

My name is Jacob here at Costco. My main priority is safety and sanitation I need to make sure you are all following proto. So please maintain a six-foot social distance and keep feathering it By the way a good sign about quarantine He's terrified now we're gonna have to pay for his therapy Traumatized he doesn't even know why you hate him, so I don't know Are you still upset about the clip he didn't prepare you didn't tell him I'm not upset. I'm I've you seem fine because I'm happy it makes me I Love when somebody's scared so I

You ever get an elevator with a woman that you probably don't do it And you just kind of bow up on her and you're like, you know you see her kind of You know what I'm really glad for I think you doing stand-up constantly on the road for the last few years Like you focused your energy outward and now that you're focusing your real energy towards me towards the staff You know what I'm saying? We're really starting to see all the sides of your personality Mm-hmm. Am I right? And now you guys are finally seeing all the shit that for years. I've been like I think Tom's a little Well, I love him. I love him. First of all, let's be clear about something You are

The liar you're the one who claimed you found a key that you kept in your pocket for a week Okay, and then you busted it out. Okay. I found it first of all for those of you who want an update on The whole quote stolen valor. I'll tell you The only thing that's being that's been stolen is my trust Is my trust? That's me in Afghanistan See who's in the middle with her fucking fist in the air saying thank you America. God bless the troops in Afghanistan I just come back from a battle right here, and you guys just got and you're not about others

ID's all over. No, I was in a war zone and they had to put Kevlar vests on us just to get I There's Obama giving you your medal for fighting in Afghanistan unreal about the one I sent you that one is a really good one There's a lot of good unreal. How did you find that one of me in Afghanistan for real? Oh my god Am I gay pride soldier? Oh, it's all that rainbow shit on there. You are give us a salute. Give us stop it. I Was saying the only thing stolen is my trust in you now our relationship has been sabotaged I know I question everything you say you're gonna be honest, right? You're gonna be honest Will you please tell the audience tell the audience?

where Where we found the missing Jeep keys a year and a half after they went missing Yonah, Yonah. Are you gonna tell them honestly or no? Of course I'm gonna tell them honestly because there's what's the story I found the keys in being the seeker that I am in My winter coat there. It is jacket pocket there. It is jeep keys She she kept those keys in her pocket just like she kept the mailbox keys Who knows where she hid them for the time they were missing?

Case closed I Didn't conceal those keys. I didn't hide the keys babe I accidentally put them in my winter coat pocket and then a year later at winter I was walking FIFO and I put my hand in there and they were there right and I didn't conceal the keys Who knows the story behind the mailbox key? Who knows where you really kept it? Oh my god, babe I got a message for Christina P stolen Valor stolen Valor That and dick sucks ain't cheating. There you go. Well, I'd like to thank him for his service That's Ryan. Thank you, Ryan. Thank you, Ryan. I've traveled many thousands of miles entertainer troops in the United Arab Emirates Saudi Arabia even

Persian Gulf in the middle of the Persian Gulf between Iran Iraq. I lived on an oil platform Oil I did for three days because oh my god, it's true There because it was it's a place called a bot It was an oil platform and the fog rolled in and we couldn't leave I couldn't get transported off and I had to live there for three whole days with Iraqi soldiers on one side American Marines on they were gonna rape me so they stationed Marines to guard me. I swear to God. I had ice cream with Iraqis. I entertained the troops Oh my god. Do you want the people who saw me if you saw my performance?

Let us know I God I Can't believe this. I love the troops I've done nothing but Honor our troops. I believe you. Oh my god Tim and Crystal army veteran here. I Was having a fucking good week Celebrating also this week one year of sobriety and now after seeing what Christine did and her stolen Valor

Everything's gone to shit No Now I'm ruining what you did lives. Who was that? Was that Yale? Yale reams. Is that their name? That's the name Yeah, I feel you right. I mean listen. I hit the bottle to that day. Oh my god Well, here's the thing you guys have probably seen in the store already, but we're picking teams Are you team Christina in which case you're sanity seeker team normal? Yeah, the Team rational supposed military vet. Yes, who

Just found the key Or are you team Tom and you're seeking the truth? I've hired a retired LAPD homicide detective Who's gonna be coming on the show soon to? Further investigate your truthfulness. So we'll we'll see where this ends up. Oh my god, but you can be this is insanity this is gone Way too far and by the way go to merch method comm slash Tom's a girl and pick a team, please I just have to let you know that I no longer trust you I don't trust anything you say because of that lie that you told me you said oh I texted Claudia

She said she found the key I'm now watching you as you text. I'm looking through your phone. Mm-hmm. Oh This is the oh by the way yesterday you go. Oh, I'm gonna go to the bank. I'll be back soon Well, how long do you think a trip to the bank would take? 15 20 minutes tops an hour and a half later. That was not an hour and a half later. No, Ellis and I finished watching under 40 minutes And I'll tell you the movie. Okay. The bank that is near us is closed They're closed. I had to go to a and was there traffic because of the was there quarantine traffic Tom? Six miles the bank. Oh

I'm gonna go work out with my friend Remember that your long walks with your guy friends What's really going on? Oh, yeah, we were fucking in on the hill. Of course you're fucking on We were practicing wrestling moves. Yeah, so I know that's what I'm saying. I was like, I'm up I'm standing on top of the ropes man. Let's jump up down pile driver whoa Okay, these guys are real athletes Also, I'd like to plug for Mother's Day Mother's Day is May retarded 10th

We'll get your mother the I'm the main mommy shirt, which is also in our store I'm the main mommy claim your title as the main mommy today. We all know that I'm the main mommy I am the water champ. I'm the personality champ and I am the seeker. I am not stolen valor. I do not steal valor Up to you you decide You know what? I'm gonna fucking do what I'm gonna bring in All my medals that I've earned going to all these bases All these different war zones to care for our troops and entertain our troops I'm gonna bring in all my chips. Okay, and we'll see who's a real fucking patriot. Okay. I'm a patriot

I believe you I love this country. I know you do. I know you do. I am serious. I know you love this country I've performed on submarines. You're not even American and you love this country. How dare you? I became a citizen in 1990. Don't you start that Trump's gonna fucking deport me. Don't you dare? I'm married to you though. I'm fine. I'll say you're fine Anyways, speaking of hurting your wife, uh, we started a new game today On our morning walk, which I think is really fun and really juvenile. It's uh, the shoving game. Yeah Where it just we're walking side by side and every now and then I'll shove you or you shove me into the bushes Yeah, and we get a really good laugh out of it, but you use all your force

Like I see you you put two hands on me. You bend your legs. Yeah Really give me a shove. Yeah, and it doesn't do much But then I'm more hesitant to do it to you because somebody could walk by and be like, um That man just shoved that On the grass Yeah, now he's laughing and walking away I forget how much fun it is to get shoved a little bit You know like when you're a kid and you like, you know, you just shoved your friend. It's really I was very silly

I kept laughing this morning. Yeah, it was actually it was a lot of fun. It was fun Yeah, so shove your spouse on your morning walks do it unprompted without warning And if you're a guy, don't you know don't put too much into it, but Watch how they laugh. It's really funny. It started because we were standing on the cliff. We were there's a cliff near our house And we were assessing How much damage you could do if you pushed me off at that moment Like would you just break an arm when I break an arm? Yeah, would I die? Probably not you would have to push me really hard so that the trajectory goes out

And down. Yeah, and I was saying that on this particular cliff I could shove her super hard and just the way that The cliff slopes Best you could hope for is you break your arm or something, you know, right? I mean, it's just You're not gonna you're like, oh, what if I could be able to paralyze I'm like, I don't think so But that would be way way worse for you if I got paralyzed Then you'd have to deal with me being cranky all the time

No, then you got to go through like honestly a pretty emotional experience to murder a paralyzed person Because you see them in the chair and you're like god damn it. I'm gonna beat you in this chair That's an interesting Philosophical question. Is it harder to murder an able-bodied person who can fight back or is it well? Psychologically the psychologically I think it's harder. I think it's probably harder to see the person you know in there especially if they have the

The blow the blow dart mover I used to wrestle and then the fucking Turn back how many people have been paralyzed wrestling not enough. Yeah Not enough But seriously though, do you think you wouldn't get the same thrill killing me paralyzed versus killing me? alert and and full movement I think it's probably More people probably enjoy the able-bodied

The able-bodied kill. Yeah, I think so Well, because you want to see the life come out of my eyes. Well, it comes out either way You see it that and you're always chasing that dragon, but I feel like You know You probably feel kind of badly when you see the person in the chair and you're like, I'm gonna fucking kill this person Well, are you doing them a favor? Maybe they want to die cherry chiva style. Yeah, I would probably not want I don't know though. I'd live for my children. Yeah, but once I turned 18, I'd be like just fucking kill me. Just kill me. Yeah Okay

I don't know. I don't know how I'd feel. You know what really suck is if you were like just do it for me And I'd be like, I don't think I can And then I just will you to that cliff and let go And I see you go off And then I I'm sitting there like fuck and then like two minutes later. You're like didn't work It's screaming like god damn it. I gotta walk down there. You're like, I didn't even feel anything. It's a good thing But being paralyzed

See it's good we took that morning walk. He really got your feathers ruffled up this morning. I'm fired up today Yeah, what's going on? You are All pistons go Yeah, I'm starting to think you're not doing stand-ups affecting me. I think so too I thought it wasn't and I think it is now. Yeah, you've got a lot of rage inside of you that needs to go somewhere Blood rage Going on a mission going on a mission We were watching um

What's it called? 90 days before the 90 days last week and um, it is a goodie. Holy shit There's so many amazing. This is the best season of a reality show that I have ever seen And we've talked about it to the point where I keep getting messages like twitter messages from people like You got us on this show and and we are obsessed. I keep getting messages like that um Last week's app we watched and uh, it's two and a half hours long The show is immensely popular BT dub. I think that's why they did it because they're like tom and christina need

Tom and christina need and they know people are quarantined. Give them what they want man And oh man this show delivered so everyone's into big ed and rose and in this No in last episode He one morning they go on a little vacation. They're still in the philippines but they go I think one of like an island or beach area there and One morning they wake up and he's like I got you some stuff And he gives her a bikini. He bought he gives her lingerie and then he's like I got you something else Not as romantic

She's like, okay And then he hands her mouthwash toothpaste Toothbrush and he goes I got you this because your breath Um, it's not it's not so pretty. It's not so pretty and she was like This is the face she makes everything she's like rose always has a stinky face always sour face and he's like You know, and then he goes I'm worried about your health If you get a disease in your mouth they can go into your body

And she's like I have an ulcer and that's why my breath is that way Which I didn't know that an ulcer can cause bad breath. I didn't know it like I never heard it But it makes sense, you know, like you ulcer is obviously in your stomach and that it's giving you indigestion And yeah, it's harder to eat things and you know, she's like it's coming up that way Which which definitely logically checks out But the question actually remains What would you do if um The person you are dating and it's early on you're in that n re period. It's romantic

You know first couple times you guys have hooked up and you're like man, their breath is just kicking you actually had a better Suggestion. All right. Let me let me break it down to you my thoughts on this because this clip affected me so much I actually caught it on instagram like a week ago and I've been thinking about it ever since Here's my thoughts Bad the breath Her leg shaving. He's already gotten her on shaving your legs, right? That was the first thing he commented on get an std test He says now the breath he's breaking this poor girl down and her self-esteem. It's too

Much now. Here's what you do. You got to find the way in Yeah, here's what you do you get our tool because all that stuff is cosmetic That's not somebody's character right now. He should be focusing on her insights. What's her character? What's her morality? How does she treat him because all that other shit? You can you can change once she's in america. Here's what you do you go? Oh, welcome to america You're an american lady now. You know what american ladies love doing shaving their legs. I got you this brand new razor Right, you want to be american? Oh my gosh here in america. We have these great toothbrushes. Why don't you try it? It's electric. Have you ever seen this before? Oh my god, you don't basically treat her like a toddler like a toddler

Right, you see how exciting this shit is. Oh my gosh. Welcome to america and it's all that stuff You can fix and post is what i'm saying. Yeah, don't tear the woman down on You know look she lives in a in the back of a a postcard shop in the philip. It's a poor woman She's not thinking about shaving her leg. She's surviving. Yeah, it's not fair. I think it's unfair What do you think? I think that it's it's always about it's not the it's the it's how a message is delivered It always makes the difference, you know, right? It's like me Talking about wrestling fans. That was the wrong way to deliver the message It was too aggressive. It was insulting and it doesn't matter that it's true

It's about the way that I did it that was incorrect, right? You know, I mean or the way it's not going to be well received people are going to get really mad and send me all these messages About it and and it's true. You they have a point because the way I did I demean them and belittle them and and and you know just put them down It it it's like it's the cheap route. I could have you know later. It's the same kind of thing So it's like you you know, I could just be like well, you know, you could grow up and watch real things but then

with uh with the Toothbrush situation, I think it's the same thing. It's not the it's how you deliver it He delivered and when it's like the timing of it. He was too direct You know, it's like to be like your breath just kind of suck like that. You got to find another way. It's like The bad breath thing. It's hey, have you tried this mint? It's really good. You know, right? If you try this new toothpaste, oh my god, this is a water pick. It actually shoots What's this fucking crazy? Yeah, and then you're kind of like you're addressing the breath, but you're doing it Well, and he has first world bitch

Expectations, you know, I'm saying like she's she lives she she lives in squalor. She really You can't have the same expectations for her hygiene. You just can't it's not cool. Right. Um Well, because you you made a good point like she's not Sophisticated. No, what is she? She's a donkey. Right She's a fucking village donkey Rose Is a Fired up today, right donkey. Okay, and she has this fucking face

Will you pull up rose's stink face her village donkey face? She's always at all hours And by the way, you're not fucking fun to be around if that's your face. Okay That face sucks that you're always You're no fun if you make that face if you see this face and you recognize it as your own pull yourself out of it Okay, no one wants to be around you. You're no fucking fun. You're a bummer And here's a downer. I think fuck you. Fuck you. I think for For a girl for a village donkey. She Ed's a great catch

Like seriously, he's up. He's positive energy. He's got a great personality. He's established He's a dad. Like he's a good dude. I don't think ed's gonna disappoint you. He's a good guy He's a really good, but who look he hasn't been with a woman in 28 years He doesn't know how to You know, I mean, he doesn't know how to navigate this. He doesn't doesn't know how to navigate a date He doesn't know like he's paranoid of an st Like he doesn't know how to all his things are like I gotta protect my you know Because isn't every male instinct to just ejaculate like could you wouldn't you overlook the std thing like you guys in the boother pigs?

I don't know if they would overlook it, but bad breath. Could you overlook bad breath? To f a chick. Yeah But this guy's thinking he's gonna be with her. It's not different. But you can fix all that once she's in america You you take her to the dentist. You go to the doctor. You can take care of all that later. He was right about shave your legs So yeah, but he was like the first thing The first thing you're fucking donkey legs. Okay Where was she gonna shave her legs with her when she's taking a communal shower with her dad With the buckets of water and the whole family showers together. I mean, it's horrible poor woman poor woman

Anyways, but how do you tell them? So wait if we were dating in the beginning and I had bang and breath. Yeah I think it's different in the first world like if it's if it's america Yeah, but I would I would be like fuck. What do I do? Like it would be a I wouldn't be like, I'll just bring it up It would give me anxiety it would give me anxiety if it's somebody I wanted to date I remember I had anxiety about I shot a Uh a scene for a pilot that never went. Okay, and this is a few years ago And I had somebody who if the show had been picked up we would have been regulars together and she had Kick and breath a few days in a row

Right, so I wasn't like it wasn't like oh, it's today. It was like today then I was like, oh my god And I actually go if this shit gets picked up I'm this is gonna be a problem and I told the makeup artist and she was like, oh, I'd handle it And I was like, what do you mean? She goes, oh, I would um You know because like as a makeup artist you get to do like this you have this one-on-one time Yeah, with whoever's in your chair and you know, you do things like you're like, oh, you got this in your nose Let me fix your oh, you got sleep in your eyes. She goes. I would just be like, oh you here you go You got it. You got to take one of these. Oh, I would actually handle it for you. That's awesome

I was like I go I I have not stopped thinking about it since we've been shooting this Because every time I shoot something like uh I was like god damn this girl's breath is slamming. That's terrible. Yeah, that's terrible. That's a huge That is a deal breaker because look 15 years into marriage or whatever. I can be like Your breath stinks. Yeah, have a minute boo boo. Like you got dad breath. That's the difference though You're so comfortable with somebody After this amount of time. Yeah, but new it would be an re stage and re cjo would be hard to deal with I don't how would how would you deal with it? If uh, if that happened to you

With bad breath. Yeah. Yeah, like if you went out with somebody and you like her and like you're getting like you're having a lot of fun Like you you feel chemistry You're really attracted to her You know and you've maybe you've hooked up once and you're like, man, I really but like like man her breath is so strong Like such bad breath Well, how would you approach it and it was like Jeanette like this is like a medical problem? Well, it's you don't know what it is. You're just like if there's one thing I have picked up on in these Five dates, let's say it's that her breath stinks every time I see her

Yeah, I mean I would just fade out that you would but what if she's perfect? Yeah, that's the thing is what if you're just but she's not perfect. Yeah, but she's educated. She's hot. She's but you really like her That's the point. You really like her. You just have this one. I just have to put up with no You don't have to necessarily put up. It's like how do you how would you address it? If you want like the point is like you want to address it like you want it to be fixed because you're like I like everything else You know If she was the one then I'd be like whatever. I'm just gonna put up with this. Wow, but Doubt I would do that and I'll be like, you know, there's you just go stick

No, I wouldn't ghost but it's just like, you know, just kind of remove myself from the situation. No. No, you can fix it in a dump Here's what you do. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. You go Oh my god, I have this great new dentist. I found you've got to see this guy Like when you do your clean, I'm gonna set you up an appointment for a cleaning. You got to go to this guy No, be like, oh, who's your dentist? Nobody you got to try he does this special thing It's another way to do it. I don't know. I mean or you go or you oh you can even take another step further You can set a disappointment for yourself Ask them

Like will you take her as well and set it up and be like, hey, they said They would also See you. No, I would do a move where it's just like Like she was like, hey, when are we seeing each other again? If I've already made the decision I'd be like, oh the next two months are actually super busy. Holy shit, but you're cutting her but you like her I think you're dismissing the fact that in this hypothetical scenario, you're really into her, right? But you're saying like, well, I would like who cares man. I'll find another person. That's how you Yeah, but you could fix it. No, but nita. Let's be realistic. You're not you're finding the diamond. She is

One in a million this chick is absolutely perfect. He's not going along with this. Okay fine any Any you find a girl who's like perfect awesome This is the girl, but her breath is kicking. Do you say something or what do you do? Yeah, I do But it's easy anything that you don't like about them. You just make it about you Just say hey, I know like no, there's nothing about you It's just that I have a really like particular like, you know taste buds and everything like I just I I sense it

More than others. So if you could just for me, you know, like Maybe brush more or whatever or just take a you know a piece of gum or something like make it about me So it's like she I feel bad about it. She doesn't have to feel bad about herself I was I thought you were on the way to saying I thought you were saying Hey, uh, does my breath bother you? You know so that she's like what and you're like my breath like I feel like I have bad so you You start make criticizing yourself. You know what I mean? So that she's like, I don't I don't sense your bad. Wait. Are you saying I have bad breath? You're like, no

I don't think you have bad breath. Do you ever I'm saying is my breath strong? So you kind of put it in her head that breath conversation. Yeah, like whatever the issue is, you know Oh, it's so tricky. But then what about josh? Does josh have a josh? What's your theory? Uh, I think it's very simple I would uh, you really like her right? Yeah. No, this is what I would do I would wait till she blew me And then I would make her scope. I'd just bring it by just to be like, hey, why don't you use this? You know what I'm saying? I've done that with girls

Who don't have like your face? Yeah, because then they use my because then I can use my dick as the reason she needs the scope. Okay, but but wait Do you know what I mean? Okay, but Because then she doesn't have to feel bad But wait, don't you have to I think this is I think you're onto something. Well, no that then I'd I it just means more blowjobs Christina if that's what you're getting but wait, couldn't you do this? I like your like your setup She blows you you bring her scope. Yeah, and then here's the big thing. Yep, you State after she uses it how much you love exactly that smell

Then you go, oh man, when you when you scope like that, it's I fucking love it It's mind-blowing. Yeah, and then if she if she declines the scope Yeah, then I'm just making out with my own dick, which is fine You know what I'm saying? Then I changed the bad breath with my dick the smell of my dick And he's shaking his head hard This is going nowhere the problem with I think it's the perfect solution It's not the problem with the bad breath is that it's either a diet issue Right, maybe she's on a diet that's making her breath smell. Maybe it's a oral hygiene issue

She's never been to a dentist and she's got like decay in her mouth Right, so you're saying the scope is just a band-aid. It's not going to do anything. Yeah What do I have to do? I have to get her to go to a dentist. Yeah, that's the only real way I think so it's it's a start. Okay, so then let me progress You know, I could say to her. Hey, you know the last time you were blowing me I got something on my dick. I don't know. Maybe you want to get checked out You want to get your mouth checked out? Yeah, like I think I lot maybe I think I lodged something loose back there Is all I'm saying I felt something strange go to the dentist and just see if just see if my dick might have maybe

Fuck something up in there. You know, it's for you or you punch a tooth out Or I could do it. You're right. I could like cause damage with the blowjob and then make her go to the dentist that way Open your mind That's a pretty good one. I don't know I gotta give it to him. That's a pretty good one I think it's in the beginnings. It's really hard to tell people Like those are just deal breakers, you know in the very beginning. Yeah, there's I wouldn't be attracted to somebody that had bad breath. No, I think that's kind of what nadav was going at He was kind of saying like well

Nadav was kind of like well, I just I'm not that attracted to her because yeah, there's this issue So I'll just find somebody else, right? Yeah, and he'd fucking throw her off a cliff Oh This is a good sign. Yeah, this is a I mean who knows what happens as the days and weeks progress to um Nadav is gonna get it now It's okay Guys, I'm not Fuck you better run for your life. No, you don't need to run for your life. I'm a nice guy. Oh god

Nadav this is not Oh You call her a village donkey So should we stop real quick and does he know? Because it's way after that time. Yeah, I think he's ready for us. Okay Um, sorry, what were we just saying? We're talking about ed and rose. No, I know I was I was actually saying that like things are changing because The starbucks, you know, I'm a very starbucks addict Has closed or has not been serving and now they're back to doing mobile orders. No, I'm so glad and people have a lot of

Complicated orders. Have you ever seen an order like this or somebody reacting this in starbucks? Um, I just put no attack open there, ma'am No, it literally tastes like you put sugar like it tastes like sugar. I know I I can remake it every single day. I come here every single day and it's always I I can remake it if you want No, so if you say I have a difficult Personality check this shit out right here. Okay. Oh, and she even said you after the show Oh, she was like, I can remake it for you

What a fucking bitch. I can remake it for you. She said it God bless the starbucks. By the way, may I bring up just briefly? I'm sorry. Let's call this guy. I don't want to bring it up Okay, do you write it down? Yeah, right down. It's on the topic man. Oh, you have it there. Okay. Got the code All right, so we real quick. We should just set up the fact that We've all been blown away by uh norman Summerton norm Summerton He is a bdsm

Hardcore guy In Calgary, Canada. He has the tit cups Everyone's been fascinated 55 years. He's been practicing five years. He's been the last file. He and I have been DMing He's been very nice. He's following. He's been watching podcast clips Has seen us all talk about him. There he is now He missed Talon's cuckold property and he's got the big enormous pig with a pig snout on the front of his bald head So you know that he's pig and we right now are going to get on the line with the tattoo artist Who did that tattoo? Who knows norm? Well, could you pull up the number again on the breakdown? Thank you

Now I didn't realize there was red in that tattoo until now because we only get to see Parts of it. We don't get to see the full tat Yeah, I didn't know there's there's red in there. There's red Um, and it looked really fresh. Obviously because he just had it done there. Are you ready? Are you ready for a call? What's his name? That's my Derek. Okay, cool. Where he's in Calgary. I'm just kidding It's a good song Oh Derek

Hi, hey, man. How you doing? Uh, this is tom seger. I'm here with christina p. Hi, dude. How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Well good, man? Thanks so much for taking our call No problem. My pleasure So as you know, I'm sure you know, um, like the uh, social media and storm has exploded since uh, everybody learned about norm And um, it's rarely rare to see somebody, you know, so open and dedicated to their lifestyle and One of the things we found out, um, because at first, you know, we when we saw videos of him We were like, who is this guy? Of course, you know, like seeing those tit cups and hearing his His um, you know, his videos and then you see the tattoos and at first it occurs to you

You go like is this a marker or is this a tattoo? Especially that that one on his head is so fresh You're like, is this somebody drawing on their head and then we learned that not only is it a tattoo, but you did that tattoo Yes, sir. I did. So how did you meet norm to begin with? Okay, so uh, I was it was like a saturday night and the owner of my shop that I worked at Uh, dean he said he forwarded me the email from from norm plate pig And uh, it was it was norm talking to third person at the early studs. Yes Uh requesting on behalf of his mistress That uh, he has the word pig tattooed on his forehead

And he sent us with the with the email. He sent a picture of himself with his the glass cup Cup things And I was like, oh man, this is wild like is this real? Like it sounded like he was this guy was like just Trolling us or something. Right. So I responded To him saying I would be his deliverer of playing of pain with pleasure and I wrote this ridiculous email to him and he replied right back and said he was excited When this when can I tattoo? Well, let me ask you this. I have a question about this real quick because you know, we've seen people

um Like we've seen been sent videos and photos of people with outrageous Tattoos Um, is there a thing when somebody requests a tattoo? Do you do you have and they say like, you know, I want on my face or something Do you have to do you weigh like is this person stable? You know, I mean like that whole idea that maybe a person

Is there any line where you go like I'm not going to tattoo that on your head? Yeah, I uh like if they if it was uh A 20 year old kid who wanted that on its head out. They know really but he him being 72 years old Yeah, I figured well, you know, he's old enough and uh, sure didn't know him personally at that point right kind of Hey, you just to see what he was like as a person if he was strange if You know if he was mentally stable and he's very normal. He's kind of like your typical grandpa, right? You know, he likes to drink beers. He's retired. Talks like a normal dude likes telling stories

So you've you've actually got to spend a lot of time with him now Yeah, we uh, we had plans to go for beers together But then this whole covet thing. So yeah, they shut down the bars about uh a week after I tattooed him Uh, but we text uh daily because he gets the only and stuff. So we become friends and we uh, we communicate on a daily basis almost he's been um DMing with me and he also Does refer to himself in the third person as pig, but he's been really nice really genuine and um Yeah, just a really nice guy Yeah, he is he's a good guy

And like I said, if you if you seen him in the streets and you had a hat on You just uh taken for the typical Wallfella, right? But if that hat was off you'd be like, whoa Look at this fucking guy Hey, so you mentioned he was retired. What did he do for a living? I think he was a mortgage broker for a bank for a big bank. Yeah up here And um, do people know that he was into this stuff or is this fairly recent that he's been out with it? uh, he's

Been out with it like completely since he's retired Uh, but he did he did lose a job one time at a bank because uh, his the the bank manager found pictures of him on the internet And they fired him for it. Uh, he thought he's given a promotion and he went into the office and uh That his boss is like, can you explain this to me? He turns the computer monitor around and there's a picture of slave pig naked with a pink bow on his dick Oh And was normally like, yeah, that's a that's a photo of me. Yeah, it's private. Yeah. Yeah Jesus, he has it has affected his personal life

but now that he's retired again His uh, his wife, I believe it was his wife She passed away and stuff and all of sammy's passed away. So you just said fun. Okay. I'm just gonna go full on with this Wait, so you're saying that he had like a family a wife and children and like a some no kids Oh, okay, but a wife and was she into this bdsm stuff too Yeah, he refers to his dominatrix fight the mistress. Oh, and that's his wife was his wife, but they lived together And she she was his owner. Oh, so that's like the miss Talon property thing

Uh, no, I think that's uh, that's his recent one. Oh, that's a recent dom. Okay. Yeah Yeah, he has a he actually has a mistress or owner now And she lives like three hours away in another city. Okay Because he goes some of his posts are like, I'll blow you Um, like I'll blow obviously blow guys and I'm like, oh, so is he like a You know an open gay guy, but it's it's actually all tied to his like bdsm stuff, right? Yeah, he just likes to like I guess uh, be humiliated

Right, that's his thing. Humiliation is his Thing that he does. I guess that's what gets him off. Yeah. Wow. So I don't think he's gay Uh, we haven't really talked about sexuality right, but um, I'm pretty sure it's all humiliation stuff Have you seen his poutine video? Yeah I've seen I've had so many people sending me stuff People I know sending me stuff that they've seen a lips late pig And uh, there's some there's some weird shit

Yeah, I mean it is kind I gotta tell you it's kind of You know at first when you see him you have shock, right? You're kind of like what the fuck and then I think the more stuff that I've seen about norm. I kind of really respect the fact that he openly Is himself like it's it's very authentic. So it is it's hard to be like that I mean, I'm still you still go like holy shit, but it's like a genuine guy. He's just genuinely like this. He loves it Yep, that's just the thing he's been into since he was 16 And uh, you know, that's what he likes doing. That's what makes him happy. So I respect that Yeah, and you said you have like you just have normal conversations with him

Yeah, yeah, we just talked about stuff about life him getting bored and You know, um, get excited to get old again Uh, we talk about, you know, social media stuff that's happened to him And there's also like bad things that have happened and it's hurt his feelings He still has feelings and people Saying that he's like a serial killer or Tom pervert and sick in the head and stuff like that really affects him

Yeah, I mean have you Man, so did you did you come up with that? Um, the tattoo that he has in like is that your first take where you like? Hey, here's an idea for it Uh, I drew like, uh, I think like four different Designs for it. Uh, and he picked that one But then he had requested I put a pig snout in the middle of the loop on the g Yeah, it's a dude. It's badass. Actually. I mean for what it is. Yeah, you're a talented artist for sure Hey, yeah, that's very cool. Um, have you ever had like what's the why like he seems like a you know

A wild dude and that's kind of a wild request for someone You know, I mean like not every day someone's like, hey, man Would you go ahead and throw pig on my fucking head and put it now? Have you is that the most outrageous request you've had for a tattoo? That's that's the most outrageous now. I've done a few bizarre tattoos. What's like a that's definitely what's another bizarre one? Uh, last year I was at a tattoo convention and the guy had requested that I tattoo a bud light can on his ass Oh, jeez. And with a platypus like a cartoon character some platypus from a cartoon Yeah standing on top of it. Uh-huh. So I tattooed that on his ass at a convention and uh

I've done a few face tattoos on You know people who want to be gangster like money signs and stuff. That's man. That's so great Have you seen like a drastic increase in people doing facial tattoos? Oh, yeah What do you attribute that to? Uh, I'll attribute it to uh soundcloud wrappers for sure There you go to what soundcloud wrappers. Oh, yeah, so it's yeah, that's so lame You see a lot of kids these days like younger kids. They only want face tattoos and hand tattoos

Yeah, but uh, you know, generally I wouldn't if someone didn't have Wasn't heavily tattooed. I wouldn't do that But it all depends on, you know, it's your own ethics in tattooing really Yeah Wow, um, what do you see? Hold on. Do you give him any barbed wire tattoos anymore? No, I've never done a barbed wire tattoo. Oh, do you refuse it? If someone's like can I have one? You're like, yeah, I don't do that Yeah, if someone wants tribal iron bands or stuff, I tell them no, I'm not interested Yeah, it's like it's like the calling card of the douche, right?

I want barbed wire. I'm dangerous, man. I like wrestling Totally. Oh man. Well, this is fascinating. I'm glad to put like some humanity to Um, to norm, um, it's it's an absolutely fascinating person and I think we're gonna do more of a deep dive I asked him to come on. He said yeah, he doesn't want the uh, the wide publicity But he was he said he had a good laugh out of it out of the podcast we did Yeah, oh, yeah, he he loved it. He sent it to me the soon as we seen it That's and uh, yeah, he likes it. I think he's just hesitant on going live with things because sure He's just worried about people

The negative stuff. Yeah, I understand. Well, if you could tell him that we're nothing but respectful and we love him And we're fans and we would never make him feel Bad. Yeah, if he ever wants to come on, we're happy to have him. This is the show you want to be on Believe me. Oh, yeah, I know for sure. A lot of people know you guys. Yeah We're big fans of Calgary. Um, thank you again for taking our call, man. Appreciate it, Derek Well, thank you for having me. Oh, let's um, let's yeah, let's plug your instagram. There's it. Is it d in y e r o That's right. Yeah. All right. Um go to at d i n y e r o on instagram You can see Derek very talented artist in Calgary and he's the the the man who tattooed pig on

Norm's head and it's an amazing piece man. Thanks so much. Thanks, Derek. I appreciate it. Take care, brother You have a good day. You too. Bye Wow, Canadians are so sweet, aren't they? Very much so. Yeah, I love them Um, have you seen is is poutine in here or no? It is It is so wild. Let's look at poutine now one of the things this is actually uh, um an important point We have uh our membership page and I want people to know that The the if you do channel membership It is the the main thing is we're just delivering you an early as often as we can

Add free experience. That's what we're trying to do. That's it Uh the stuff about something being censored versus not censored If we can't show it on youtube, um, you know, we we just it's because they'll take it down And the channel membership just allows you if it's very graphic you still have to throw a blur on it because They'll still take it down from there But we're not trying to like hide it from the the real, you know, the feed and then show it there It's not like a bait thing. It's just that We're not allowed to show certain things on youtube and we can only

somewhat Give you a hint of what it is on the channel membership. I'm just letting it making it clear That's what it is. If you want an ad free experience. That's what channel memberships are this I'm guessing we're not allowed to show a lot of on either Yeah, so So for the youtube, we're just going to see your reaction So just go ahead and over describe what you're seeing because it's not going to be blurred for you guys Right, okay

But you know, if you go to the channel membership, we're going to lightly blur it because we got to do what we have to To not get it taken down. Okay, but you know, that's what's going on with this next video because it is insane Okay, all right. Now hold on. What's the other guy? We're texting back and forth with ila and ethan the other day That guy who um Remember he he also You're talking about naked martin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's poutine. Gonna be worse than naked martin I actually haven't seen poutine. Oh, I just I got a I stayed away from poutine on purpose Okay, because I've been um

I watched zolo prepare the clip. Oh, and I saw his face and how did it? I did I did remember that last week when this clip arrived It was during lunch the dove pointed out. Oh, we have this clip and then I was like, why don't you watch it? And he's like, well, I'm eating and I was like, come on man. Yeah, do you work here or not? This is why and um, and then you watched it, right? Yep, what'd you think? I lost my appetite for real Well, yeah, I sat with you guys for like 20 minutes just looking at my food

Yeah, the best part is he goes when you asked me to watch it He was like, ah, I just took a bite of my food. Like I just started eating I was like, I haven't even eaten yet and you're like, I know Like doesn't even matter for you. No, which is fine, you know I'm sorry to dove. Do I need to give you an apology for today? Did I hurt your feelings? Okay. No, I'm serious Did I it's a trap? Yeah, you're fine, dude. You're doing great Keep doing you dude I

Love you All right Hello today, we're going to make french canadian Poutine fries what are poutine fries while poutine fries are basically your fries cheese And I have great appetite I do love poutine so they can see this right they'll see this They'll see this first clip that shit is delicious. Okay, that sounds great. However

There's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe everybody likes to change the recipe up. Okay, these ones are going to have fries cheese Pig shit and pig piss. Ooh, it's going to be a treat He looks really happy. He'd you know what I will say I do like that is the glee on his face That's how I feel it's 70 some years old how will to have glee in your life is pretty fantastic Yeah, I mean how many moments of glee do you have? I'm having one right now. Yeah I know because of his joy. He's making me happy right now. Yeah, same

Okay, so let's get Okay What's on his peanut? He's got a like a chastity All right, how can he pee through that so he doesn't get hard in that? Oh, right So he's peeing on the fries. He's peeing on the poutine So he's got a cage over his dick and he's Peeing through the cage and it's in a dog bowl. It's in a dog. The fries are in a dog. All right, right, right, right So far so good

delicious The mean ingredients Uh-oh Oh, no, he's sitting out of the entire area There isn't that beautiful looking hey stop hold on I got a process Oh, wow There have been a few videos in my life that have changed me as a person How far did you make it last week?

Uh, right Right this right when he shits into onto the french fries. That's what I was just like. I'm gonna finish this later You know what? I'm gonna make zola. I'm gonna make zolo prep this clip and then and now I'm also able to teach him that you know, sometimes you got to prep stuff. You don't want to watch Which is a big part of working here wait tom can I ask you a question? I love you babe. I love you. This is why we're married I love you Wait can I can I ask you how fortuitous it was that it came out of his butt like gravy?

How did he get it to be mush like did he know he wouldn't have a mush? It's mush It's not that bad for me. I feel like I see kids poop every day He's gonna eat it, right? I can't I can't Well, there's a couple more ingredients that he has to add first. I don't want you Let's just so just for you though. He's pooped on the fries I might throw up. I might throw up. No, don't go up. You have to watch it. What is that cheese? He's putting cheese

Is there a trash can? Don't no, don't puke. I might throw up. No Stop. Don't puke. No, I'm gonna get a trash can. No Stop Bring it to me Thank you I Might throw up I'm serious so does that mean we're playing more clips

I mean, it looks like you're ready now. Don't keep watching Oh Is that the first time you've puked on this show? Yeah Oh Oh my god, I can't even look at the screen I think we should keep going so zolo What did zolo say? Yeah, come on in come in. No, no, it's fine I'm not puking. I'm not puking

I didn't puke. It's good. You're fine. I won't puke I don't like that. You know, I don't like I didn't want to I wasn't trying to No, no I have to say it doesn't look that bad the protein doesn't look that bad The way that he made it perfect the chili came out perfect And then he put the cheese on it. It's not bad Like it looks like he's just eating chili And just keep on go go ahead play the next

I mean, I see p I see poo all day every day. It's not that crazy I'm trying. I just gotta please don't gather myself. Okay Oh, I don't want him to eat it though. Please don't eat it No Oh Nice you want to be in France, can you eat it so good? Oh That was

That was just dry heaves It's okay. You can come back Christina Come back I didn't vomit. No, I didn't I didn't vomit I did not vomit Look, I just dry heaved, okay, but I didn't throw up

Okay All right No, he's done now. He's done. He's done You're upsetting me. I mean, what do you mean to do? I don't want to watch him eating it. I know he's done. I said, okay. All right Thanks, Norm. You can put your earplugs in. No, there's no more don't dry heave again. All right I'm not gonna try to fucking dry heave again. I'm gonna quit Okay Okay, we've got enough of this, right? No, I don't want to watch it anymore. Are you done? I'm done

I can't see you He's thank you. I'm done. I'm done French poutine fries. Well, I know what the problem is, Norm. He's thanking his goddess Is that he's so sweet? I don't know. I can't see him eating it. No, just listen Hmm Well, I've got to go and eat these things here before they get too cold But thank you goddess Suzanne my asian goddess. Thank you for allowing me to Make you some french poutine kebek canadian fries

Now I'm gotta go. Yes. These are gonna be so good to finish Take care now. I love you goddess Suzanne Bye That was quite an experience I mean, how did you feel watching it yourself? Um, you know, it's really interesting prepping drops for this show Is that you find that you have new threat you constantly discover you're like, oh I have a new boundary or like

I have a new thing that i'm not willing to I didn't know that I was so strongly against doing this And then you realize like oh, I guess I could overcome These emotions and still continue to prep this clip. I've never enjoyed vomiting so much like I Did you vomit? No, I just like a little A little bit. We'll throw it away. I don't want to smell it It's there's no real vomit vomit, you know Just like some phlegm

Like the septic tank video was the first was the first time I ever actually like dry heaved while prepping something You did which happened this year. So it's it's weird. Didn't this make you or no? This one's hard. Well, I made zolo prepped. Oh, you stopped. Well, I did enough you ruined my lunch last week I'm like I did my part I think the septic the septic tanks works for me really really he put it This this thing of like you wash your face. I don't know man If you saw the the I think it's the fifth clip Cheese bouncing off poop if you play that one you see the cheese just not mixing at all. That's pretty fun to watch

It just bounces off of it I always get hung up on the medical aspects of this like you can't eat your kaka It's gonna kill you right like won't norm get hurt. I don't want him to get hurt I think it's it's bad for you. That was too wild. Let's go to something a little more normal I just want to say that I like it Do you already like it? Oh, yeah I follow her on the gram. I know who this is. Yeah, she's a

Surgery fetishist. Yeah, and she gets like extra big hits. You can't even tell she looks like um Just you're kind of run-of-the-mill standard lady traumatized from the norman video It was pretty crazy. It was pretty wild. I can't I can't go on Anywhere I feel like you can't close with her you know what I mean? This was the appetizer and norm was the closure. Oh, yeah, you can't reverse the order. We're just looking through these folders now I don't know what else is in here I know all everything is tame after norm I know it's like you're like, what's the what we just blew the load and they could pizza fucking puppet guy

Cares. Oh my god I needed that laugh. I feel really good But I thought you were mortified Well, I was mortified while laughing. Yeah, I was laughing my my system overrode the laughter But the laughter felt really good. I feel like I need a shot of whiskey now. We can do one. Yep Jesus Yeah Let's try this buffalo trace. Let's do it. Mommy. We open this for me, gene

Oh, I feel so You know, I saw a guy on instagram two weeks ago having sex with a chicken And like I've never seen that before I'm surprised instagram took that down. I know they I'm sure they flagged it, but I was so traumatized by that There's three videos of my life now There's sack lunch where a guy put on the saran wrap underwear and spread his cheeks much like norm did But then doodied in the saran wrap so that the saran wrap kept the diarrhea in like a diaper A see-through diaper a saran wrap diaper and that was like in 2003 and that's been with me ever since

There's a guy fucking a chicken mr. Hands Two girls one cup one guy one cup one guy one cup was iconic Yeah, two girls one cup changed the world, but if you had the good fortune of one guy one cup You were really rocked. It's different. I mean I remember showing two girls one cup and one guy one cup to my sisters and my dad Separately I need a glass. Yeah, do you have anything to drink out of? We can grab a cup here. Can you grab a couple cups? Thank you. That was intense That was an experience. I feel like I just

You know Really really experienced something How does he do it though? Like how do you? How do you do that? And the problem is it kind of looked good. It did look just like chili cheese fries the way he presented it I bet she's a good cook because he knows all about presentation That's the secret to good cooking is presentation. Everybody knows that norm knows that And I can't say since we talked to derrick the tattoo guy

I really like norman even more. He's so sweet Yeah, like he really is like a grandpa like you say like the sweetest guy I believe it those dms are super sweet He's so respectful to you. I know you've read me like a few exchanges. So nice Okay Norman stop eating brown boo boo. Why don't we stop down for a moment before our guest comes here and I need to recover I know I need to We'll have a shot Okay, we'll be back in a moment

And we're back with a return guest We're very happy to have the very funny talented jovial good times Only restaurant owner joe coy Yay, joe coy. The minute I the minute I walk into your office. Yeah, what happened? First of all, stop telling people Don't say it out loud. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, the minute I walk into the office I'm greeted by your screen on the wall in the in the reception area. Yeah, and it's a big beautiful hd It's definitely hd. So you see you see everything. Yeah, the moles. You see a Crater. Yeah, what's the problem? We're trying to show you the the hair follicles. You can see everything because it's very

It's very it's a very expensive tv. Yeah. Uh, so right when I walk in I see a an uncircumcised dick And then I believe liquid is Pouring out of an asshole. It's blood. Oh, it's blood. Yeah. See, I didn't get that part because the uh We were showing it and I thought the dick was drinking the blood It did have like an ant eater like an ant eater. Yeah. Yeah. Are you cut? Are you circumcised? And hold on. I want to tell you what I said. I want to tell you what I said right when I saw it. I go

I'm here That's what I said I'm here tov. Thank you The most disgusting Why because any any who who's right there on the left? Yeah, he'd never seen that video or like, oh, it's so cool You gotta check it out. Have you seen it? Have I seen it? Have you seen it before? No, I can't I I literally I'm a cringe guy. I one. I'm really sensitive I'm a very very sensitive guy. Okay, like I cry. I I'm not that guy that gets choked up when they hit the golden buzzer

That guy when they when you watch America's Got Town they hit the gold I'm the one that goes I do that really I I swear and then when I see that kind of stuff. I I can't do you Do you ever eat poutine? Have you read poutine? What's that? Have you read poutine? No, I love poutine. Oh, you do. I love poutine. I love canada Oh, I do you have like you have a video of poutine. Yes, tom. You know, I love poutine dude So you show me pote poutine. I get hungry. Where's your favorite in my montreal? Hello, I love that today. We're going to make french canadian

Poutine fries. What are poutine fries? Well poutine fries are basically your fries cheese And a great appetite. Yeah It's just one of our ingredients Well, the last one was a great price At cheese curds a great and a great appetite. You gotta have a great appetite. So let's get let's get things happening. Stop it You gotta No, no, no, I'm saying this isn't the bad part. This is not so

So you gotta get the fries And then you have the what is he? Fuck I have a point to bring up after this. Don't let me forget Is that a bird cage? He's yeah It's a bird. It's a punishment if you get hard. Yeah, so that oh is that what that does? Yeah, yeah, so it's it's like a chastity thing like don't you get hard unless I give you permission or it's gonna hurt You know, so then you have that on

You got the uh Meant increase then you have Where's the cheese curds? You mean the with the fries. No, no, wait a minute. You gotta look Wait I can't I can't I got There isn't that beautiful looking. No, hold on wait for the cheese. Don't miss the cheese

Wait for the velvita. He's melted it Oh Jesus christ, man I've started drinking because of this clip. This made me drink today. I need a drink too. Okay Wait, he's gonna eat this Uh, yeah, joe. Do you want to drink now? You tell me Is he Nice you are being french canadian is so good, hey

Terry I can't can't stop it I can't dude. I'm getting wet in the mouth. Okay. Oh fuck. Okay How do you feel? That's not good. Is that gonna make you cry later? Yeah, that's uh, that's the kind of shit that ruins my uh Day my day That's I can't I don't understand those people What do you mean? I don't I don't know what that is. I don't really he's a he's a nice guy

He's his name is norm. He lives in calgary. He's been in the bdsm lifestyle for 55 years And uh, he just really you know obeys what his dom says to do bdsm Bondage discipline So, uh, he's just you know one of those guys. He's a cool guy May I may I point out one thing that's now that I've had a chance to view it a second time? Yeah, and this is uh, he just got a tattoo that changed the screen for you. He just got that too on his forehead He did it's real. Jesus christ, man. Okay. Hold on. He's a grandfather. You know what sucks though is he you put a tie around his neck. Yeah, and a shirt

I'll buy a house from him. Yeah, and he was a mortgage. He was a mortgage broker. Yeah, yeah He's a retired now. He's a mortgage broker. Fuck you. I swear to god. He's retired. I swear, but he did. Yeah He just retired a few years ago, uh, or even less than it and he Um, and then he retired and he got the pig tattoo. Yeah, you know, what's crazy time is they always tell you like you You got it's summerton. You'll you'll bump into linkedin try try Summerton linkedin you'll bump into a murderer. Mm-hmm. Like I don't know how many times I don't know. I don't know. You bump into him, right? You kill People that you've killed how many people have you walked into that eat their own shit?

Not a lot here. Check out this screen over here. Not gross. Can you can you see that image? Can you move that's who I was that's the image I had to the right a little more guy ahead So, uh, I will buy a house from look at him. Look at him. He's a decent man. He likes there is I'm on the phone He does bouncy knee with his grandkids He loves to do bouncy knee the fed just is offering better rates now. Oh, yep. That's what he said Yeah, hey, uh, just calling to say approved approved approved. Yep. Yeah, and uh, hey, do you like poutine? I make a good poutine. Let's celebrate. It's it's the same way. I got you. I asked you you're like, I love poutine I do and he's like, oh, you haven't tried my recipe. Yeah, you know, yeah

Wait back to the video, please. I have a very important point. Oh the timing On that video was incredible. No doubt. Can you please put the vid back up again? Which vid? Oh, you're putting out You want to see the poutine video? Look at the timing number one. He's got the hot fries Yeah, he has a full load in his trunk that he's about to dump out But he manages to pee first. There's no edits in that video. So he's got a full load of brown He manages to piss first Turn around first He's got heated up cheese. It's melty. It's already melted. Yeah, right the the brown and then the velvita on top

Yeah, the timing is impeccable. Yeah, what would it take for you? What would it take for you to try his poutine? Nothing. Um Yeah, so you do it for nothing. No, no, what would not I wouldn't do it No, I mean I wouldn't do it for anything for anything. That's what I meant for anything. What about your son's life? Well, that's come on. You can't do that. I can it's my show. I can do it That's brutal. That is brutal and it's a hot fresh poutine. You're at his house. Oh, you're across. Yes You know, he doesn't my son doesn't listen to me. Yeah You know what I mean? He doesn't listen to me. Yeah So fuck it. He's got to go. He's got to go

Like, you know, you should have cleaned your fucking room, man. I would eat this shit Yeah, right if you were better if you're a better kid, I would eat this shit What if your life was on the line and your son has to eat it where you're like, dude, right? I mean, you better eat that shit eat it up. You better eat that shit Grab him by the full head of hair. Yeah and cram his fucking small face Into that bowl of shit. Yeah Well, don't forget the fries and the cheese. I know that also, Sam, you like fries. You like fries. You like fries Well, that's the thing is that there are other elements in that bowl. Like you could overlook the brown

Yeah, if you ate the cheese, I don't know that you can overlook it so much. I don't like the way it came out uh, his ass What do you like like it was up against like it was up against the wall and was like open up Open up the fucking door and then it just Was like, uh, where's the fries the ready whip thing? Yeah Just ready to go. But that's what I mean the timing on that. He was holding that we heard you on the time. We we got it Yeah, but think about timing the way he held it the way he held it all at the tip the think about it Yeah, the shit was at the hole when you're that far along was at the tip. Thank you when you're when you're that far

And then he still had to help the fucking cheese. Yeah, it's remarkable that he was able to do that Yeah, you're both in on it. Yeah, you're both really impressed with the time I am think about when you have to shit and pee. Yeah, what's the last thing you want to do? Make a video a poutine video Yeah, he sets up the camera. He does it. Usually you can't do it in one take. He does it in one take You're really yeah, you're paying a new picture. I know I know I will tell you this I drink some more I'm gonna tell you something christina. Yeah, I did shit piss

And vomit at the same time Recently, I I okay. I was sick in hawaii and I was performing. I had pneumonia, right? And I and I literally Went back to the room. We were supposed to fly back to oahu and I was like, I can't make it you guys I can't I can't get on a plane. You were in mawai. I was in mawai and uh, I go I have to stay here and I stayed And I ran I ran to the uh to the to the toilet Because I knew I had to diarrhea, right? And I I went to go diarrhea

It's peeing and I because I'm just squeezing it out because I'm so sick and I went like this one And then as I throw up on my chest I go like this. Are you fucking kidding me right now? That's the trifecta like I'm talking to god. Yeah, are you kidding me right now? Is he a puke piss and shit puke piss shit. I puked earlier when I first saw the video You told me you did it lies again our house of lies It wasn't that much I don't believe you anymore ever

You know what hawaiians do all the time What? Maneuver fucking business. Well, you're gonna hit me bro. I'll put my hands in my fucking pocket cuz what's up Maneuver fucking business dog. Eat your fucking food dog. Sit down. We will fucking food. We will we are brothers It's hawaii. We do it with the fuck we want out here abuse dogs hit women. That's all we do Abuse dogs hit women. That's all we do Who is this guy? He's awesome dude. This is my friend kurt. He lives in hawaii. You know kurt You know, I don't know

This video. I don't know how what what does that? You know what I don't like dumb white people like you guys Fuck you guys because you guys fucking took this land from us. Fuck white people. Fuck white people Yeah, fuck them. How are you? Allies just alleys eat just fucking eat and go. Yeah, I feel like this is our land It is and I feel that way whenever I go to hawaii. I'm like, I don't belong here. This isn't good You just feel like a guest which is not the wrong feeling. Yeah, I think you're going to the wrong part of hawaii Oh Where are you going? I always feel like gosh, we shouldn't have

White people shouldn't this isn't our land. They love white people. I know they're nice to us That we went to wahoo. They were so nice. Yeah Yeah, I know, but I don't even if someone's like you fucking howly I'm like You still you shaka Hey, you fucking howly Yeah, that that ends everything. Yeah, that ends everything. I'll see you. It's a fucking luau, bro. Yeah. Yeah No, as you know, white person you should feel a little bit like an outsider in a lot of places Yeah, I do. Oh, but on all here's if you don't want to feel that way

It's not them. It's me. Well, it's the thing though. If you don't want to feel that way you All you got to do is just go out of your way a little bit to learn a little bit about the culture more Right, and then you show them that like I realize I'm a guest You know, like you just you don't go like this is a fucking state. All right This is a fucking 50th state. You fuck. You don't do that. Don't do that. Yeah, don't do that because then he curt shows up Kirk yeah, yeah But then but then what do you do? What do you do if you don't act like that show show show us an example

Of you learning the culture. What would you do? Oh So like if he was like if he was like you fucking piece of shit This is our country. I would just go Oh, you know Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he's like, oh you dig in here. Yeah. Yeah. I love it here. Yeah, aloha And then I take a can of spam fucking Throw it on the ground throw it on the ground Yeah, yeah, I do love that. What else do you want rice spam is amazing. I know it's so good

So I saw your spam video. You did a spam video. I love spam. Yeah, did you learn to love it there? No, no That's filipino's love spam. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a shared We used to spam used to come in a can and it had like a A key I remember I was on the side and you had to like turn it perfectly Because if you fucked up that key you fucked up the can of spam and open it you can open it So you had it spam as a kid all the time. Yeah, and my mom my mom would make me open that can You had 10 you know how nervous you would be. Oh my god Because you fucked it up before. Oh, I fuck it up all the time. God damn it

Joseph Jesus You can't just turn You have What are you looking at? Now I'm scraping it out I think the last time you were here we were talking about our moms I don't know if I I was going to send you this bro. You know when you told me that you spoke Spanish

And then all of a sudden now you're doing Spanish podcast. That's amazing. Well, the funny thing is I had my mother on the podcast Yeah, and there's one part is there a way you can bring up Um, can you bring up? What the video of me doing line reads with her? Oh, my god, where did you get your eye color? I know my dad's side, but not so your dad was like, uh, He doesn't have cocaine or he's a drug. He's a white guy. He's super white. He's a white american He's a white american. He's a white american. His one brother and his mother had blue eyes. He's got Green eyes. He's alive. Is that right? Yeah

And you got them and my sisters both have brown eyes. Yeah, and they I think they're like it's not fair Yeah, oh, yeah, they should be pissed. Well, one of our sons has his beautiful blue eyes. No, but can you get it ready for the part when I Ask her to Yeah, my sister's uh, and she tries to my sisters have black eyes and they're both like He's alive. I'm like, yeah, you're fucked. Yeah, how'd you get them? Yeah, go get your contacts. Is that from your dad? My dad has blue eyes. Your dad's blue eyes double white devil, how do how did your Filipino mom make the spam? Um, oh just fry it. You just deep fry my favorite is when you're so poor and you see spam and you and you

You you ask for it to be cooked like uh, like a steak I have medium like a little well done on the side you have medium well, please Give it a one mom This is a little rare on the rare side and you know what's so funny. We were a one. Yes We made I made mac and cheese yesterday But I didn't do the old school powder white trash way that I grew up on I decided to try velvita Well, it was right. It was recommended. It's not good. Yeah, and I was like, you know what this is too bougie for me

I like powder powder man. Yeah powder cheese and you know, my son is the same way. I bought velvita Um, and he was so mad. He was like, why don't you get the craft? Yeah, that's real cheese dad But the that powder is the best, but it's yeah, it's how you grew up whatever trashy way you grip liking it No matter what money you have in life. You're always gonna want it I go to denny's late night and they had the kids mac and cheese and it says craft. I'm like, I'll have that Yeah, thank you. I like I'll have that. Thank you. That's the best mac and cheese. It's the best No, we were talking about our mothers and how Like foreign mom like they are my mom is shameless about asking for anything like and

My mom Oh, what about the car? Did you see the car she just asked for? No. No What she asked for didn't even ask Wait, tell me the story. I think I have the text. I think I still have the text. Please tell me this. It's a fucking Mercedes before I show Oh, yes, please tell me. This is how she asks. Do you like this color? I'm not even fucking with you. Yes. Oh my god. That's totally what his mom does Really? And then I and then I go and it and the thing is it's uh, I won't tell you what kind it is But I had it before and I'm like mom, you know, there's a lot of maintenance involved in that car

You know what I mean? Like do you really want to go back in now? That's what I said to her That was my response to that. I like the color, but it's a lot of it's a lot of responsibility with that car mom I want you to get this. I suggested another brand right a nice luxury brand. She's not that one Next day. No, no, no, but no nothing next day. My sister texts me. Did you prove this for mom? And it's the fucking car and it's she's like driving it. Yeah, she's got it How'd you pick it up? How'd she pick she just went there and was like he's he'll take care of it. Yeah And I and I can't say shit, I know of course if I say anything, you know, she'll say to me Well, then you know what? I don't want the car Joseph. So, um, we have the same just just don't talk about me anymore. Yeah

Don't talk about me anymore. Yeah Okay, because she's like don't talk about people laugh at your stories about me. Yeah Just don't talk about me anymore Or get the car and then you can talk about What car was it? Wait, what is it Mercedes? Uh, uh, the the g l the the the the s u b Yeah, they're not $30. I know No, yeah, I know Like

Well, my mom in a much like not at all a car, but she goes do you have a nice Hey, this is just like rent rent. Do you have a nice coffee made machine? Because we have the machine where you pour the beans and it Rinds it. Yeah, that's a nice coffee machine. That's a nice. It's a nice machine. Yeah, I wouldn't show that I wouldn't show that to your mom either because she doesn't want that. Send me one Mom, they're super expensive Don't you said that? Yeah, I'm like this expensive. Uh, like you mean just buy another one. She's like don't me And I'm like, uh, no, and she's like please And I'm like, uh, and then as I go, um, she's like, thank you. I go. I didn't say anything yet

And she's like he said he would I get like she's telling people at home. He told me said he was sending the new I'm like mom I'm not doing that. Yeah, you said you did you send it today? And I'm like mom like the next day She's like I went today outside. There was no package. There's no mom. I didn't say I was sending that So then I did do a thing where I said I found wait, did you ever send it? Well, at first I looked up the least expensive coffee maker that I could find Can I just say something? Do you do you hate uh, do you hate your mother? No, no, no, okay? Okay? No, but I this is something you do when you hate your mother. Well, I sent her an eight. I sent her an eight dollar one Why the fuck it was just a fuck and there's a funny video

She was like you are a piece of jet a piece of jet and like she's super upset But it's pretty funny. Yeah, and then the day after that I sent the one that she wanted and then she was like She's like you're so nice. I'm like I you demanded it. Yeah, I didn't just go I didn't pick out this gift. You just said so this is me a sick clip I'm having her do line reads for our show like sometimes she'll you know a keep on her So I have her do things like uh, let's see youtube is trying to fuck our shit Fuck that we got to do that. Yeah, fill me You know so she does things like that

Got to merge method.com slash tom segura and get that deal the government is trying to stop you but you just got to do you Oh, I love her those right dude. She's the best I'm trying to she does she never curses especially like fuck. She never says fuck and I'm trying to get her to say fuck And she starts asking for trips abroad cash Like it just builds like you have that here I

Yes, you're invited to spain if you want to come you can come And you're going to pay the tickets because you can come. It's not an invitation. Yeah. Yeah, okay. You guys are witnesses, uh YouTube is trying to F with our shit We gotta do it us. Tell me no, no, no, that's not it. I'm not going to say that word here. Let me take this She won't do it and and like I keep and she's like She keeps like adding and then she's like we're going to go to the mall and get cosmetics Like you still say the word. Yeah, you have to say it. That's how it works

This is a trip to spain. Yes What else? What else she says Oh YouTube is trying to I can't say it to me do it. Wow. That's why it's funny. You're going to take me to a mall now and then spain You bring me back. Yeah, she's extorting you. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you two best rain

I can't say it to me You two best rain to you two best trying to fuck with our shit Fuck that We gotta do us You gotta pronounce that you are not going to make me come on. I did it. You're you're going like No, no, I mean, come on. You gotta okay, but say it once. I did. No, you whispered it. No, Tommy No, no, they're there. You whispered it Okay, does she need to say it again?

They're mean. No, they're not they're nice. I mean They're they would tell you if you're fine You gotta do it You're buying three cosmetics Dude, it's growing. It's growing What the fuck is three cosmetics? She keeps adding YouTube is trying to fuck with our shit Fuck that

We'll get to us You're whispering it again. No, you went like this. No, listen. Listen. You went like this. I'll just tell you he did You go YouTube is trying to fuck with us. Fuck that. I gotta do it. I mean, I can't even play it. I can't even use it You gotta go fuck that Ten thousand dollar youtube is trying to fuck our shit Fuck that ten thousand dollars. We got to do that What's the ten thousand dollars? What is going to cost you? All right, we're good. Yo, that's your mom's the shit. She's extorted three cosmetics

Three cosmetics from the mall a trip to spain and then shoe hoard in 10 thousand and five thousand Yeah, sure. It's all there and then that's to say fuck twice And I've never heard her say fuck in the 15 years of knowner not one. That's the first time that was the cutest thing I've ever seen. It's pretty cute. I'm crying. It's pretty it's pretty sweet. That was so funny fat and racist Bird is fat and racist. Is your mom curse? Oh my mom curses a lot. Oh, she loves it. She told me when I was a kid She goes you can curse just not to me. Oh, if you curse to me, then we have a fucking problem But I was allowed to curse around the house and all that I can say Fuck this mom. Good. But if I go fuck you mom problem, it's done. What are some Filipino sayings?

Oh, I love what is it? Uh, you know, it's crazy thursday's uh to gallo to gallo thursday Yeah to gallo thursday they love to say dirty words for for Like just the most dirty words. It's it's like if they drop something Which means you're pussy And she'll do it and it's the funniest shit. I'm talking out like oh your mother's pussy If you scare Oh pussy like it makes no sense. Yeah, but that's but it's so we all die laughing

So she'll always do it Did she threaten you a lot like was there a lot of threats of violence in hungarian culture? My mother would say alcohol is both one cup. So les chica fed i'm gonna hit your head so hard. It's gonna fall off. Jesus Christ Oh, yeah, well, they're crazy or or uh, uh, uh best offs. You're gonna shit your pants. That's how hard I'm gonna hit you No, no, not like that. That's pretty. That's pretty aggressive. Oh, yeah, that's yeah. Oh, well, we're eastern European You're gonna hit your head so hard. You're gonna shit on fries

And you're gonna eat them wait, that's a Filipino saying It's like hi That's pretty cool No, my mom my mom was more uh, just uh, the talking just constantly Berating is berating the right be rating. Yeah, just like constantly just like it won't fucking let it go A verbal assault just verbal fucking attack man. She never ran out of words man six fucking hours, man Yeah, that's why you're not going to be anything because you don't study. That's why you have a d because you don't pay attention Oh, always just talking on the phone sleeping. Don't wake up on time. You see that. You're like, oh, right. Fucking all right

Yeah, but look how successful you are today. Yeah, can I get that Mercedes? No, you know, she's not gonna ask though. I got the Mercedes. Oh, I got that Mercedes And you paid for it and you paid for it I She works. Yeah, it hurts It hurt me when I give birth to you So now, you know how it feels so it's it hurt me It hurt my pocket. It's hurting your pocket

It is this I tell you it's the same experience. I mean my mom. Yeah, I saw that that's exactly my mom same thing and she does um You have to pay and she goes um She asked me I go we do the Spanish podcast me again via zoom because she lives in florida Yeah, and she was like how much I'm like how much for what? And she's like do do your thing. I go mom. You're my mom. Yeah Jump on a come I go. I don't pay Guests to come on and she goes but your guests aren't me. Yeah, and like I'm like, Jesus mom What do you want? She's like and she's like everything but she was just like pick a rand. She was like

Seven thousand dollars. I'm like what it's so that's a crazy number. What are you talking about? What is that does she hold on can I ask you a question Tom? Does she think uh, does she think the word thousand means just dollars? I think so does she mean seven dollars? Yeah, which would be more appropriate because that makes more sense seven thousand and she goes like do make money I'm like, I know and one of the things about like I you know, I make money I don't think about well if I asked my mother to do something. I should back up the brink's truck Yeah, to fucking have her do what are you talking about? And then and then I'll cite things that I've done. I brought you on this trip. I took you here

I took her to Hawaii for new years or put her up at a beautiful place and she's like that was nice But that was Thursday that was then It's now Friday. Did your mother work? Oh, yeah, my mom. Yeah, I I she deserves everything I give her a hard time. Yeah, 20 She deserves everything She worked hard, you know, my mom and dad divorced, you know when I was very young And she you know, she was that was that part of the divorce when it was kind of a weird time the 80s Yeah, you know the dad, you know is kind of just went away

It was a weird time. It's not like it is now like the way my the relationship that I have with my son's mommy It's like we're still together. You know, I mean like I'm there. I love her so much. I'll give her whatever she wants It's like It's not like that. It wasn't like that back then it's all about a lawyer You got to get a lawyer divorce lawyer Divorce court and like and I I was really a part of that time and it sucked It fucking sucked and did you I saw my mom struggle and and and and and that's why I think I worked so hard Because I saw her work hard, you know, I mean she she would get all these

like group You know, there was no facebook. I always say this there was no facebook. There was no YouTube there was none of that like imagine an immigrant woman coming to america all of a sudden She's divorced and single, you know by herself with these kids But she doesn't have any Filipino friends. How do you find that? You know what I mean? There's no facebook She literally had to walk up to people and go Filipino like literally and start like a community But that resilience shows because you see how she negotiates exactly That's just why I asked because imagine what a killer instinct that is. Yeah, be like get me that fucking shit, you know

It's great. It's it's her hustle. Yeah, we we my mom used to do these Filipino events Because we went to church all the time and she would just find Filipinos in the church and then become friends And then next, you know, they had this nights at columbus hall That was connected to the church and they would rent it out every sunday And that's how we would eat Filipino food because everyone would do potluck There was no, you know, this is like 83 82. So And then, you know, my mom would do talent shows. That's why I would perform That's when I did michael jackson all the time like wait, so she she always got me

Oh, yeah, I saw you do a michael jackson at like one of your sound checks or something, right? Yeah, you could really do michael jackson. I was really really good. Please. Can you still can you dance at all? Yes, you can you can dance seven thousand dollars I would give anything to you can dance you can move. Yeah, yeah, you can dance I had to do that well into my thirties The michael jackson does all my mom made me do that Michael wasn't even a thing anymore. It was like oh, Joseph can do michael jackson and like she would tell people Oh, yeah, watch please

Everyone come to the living room Before we eat Joseph is going to do the michael jackson. Oh my god. Yeah, but I mean that's what they do like, you know It's like did you know I just want to show off their kids If I asked you what did you know you wanted to stand up early? Yeah, I just wanted to perform right when I was uh 11 When I saw delirious. I was like, uh, me too is my favorite. But my friend my friend William and uh, William I had a a tape a richer prior tape and that's when I knew what stand-up was right I knew what I knew I was funny and they kept saying you're oh you should be a comedian

I didn't know what that was and then they they played richer prior for me I only knew that he had movies richer, but I didn't know he did stand up, right? I think I was 10 and he played uh That tape richer prior tape when I was like, oh my god, I couldn't get enough of that and then delirious came out on HBO And it was over it was done. That's why I played you got to play the dar man constitutional hall Yeah, and you have to play it. Have you played it? No, you have to play it. Is that where he did that? That's where he did it. That's where he shot delirious. The crazy thing is I mean the door is still there that he walked through Dude think about this though Constitution like, you know, it's something you're able to do now

Yeah, you look at that. It's a historic venue and then think about how funny that special is Yeah, and then process like how long you've been doing this and everything and he was 21. He was 21, bro But didn't he start at like 14 and then he started 14 But Bill Hicks started at like 14 13. Yeah, but here's but his but his onstage persona was so like mature And like he's been in the game for 25 years. Even if you started at fucking 10. Yeah, I know you like yeah If you were 11 years in and did that special. Yeah, he's five years in. Yeah, no, and that crazy. Yes Five years and slaying. Yeah, and then it's like you look at the content that he's doing right like You know, he does, you know, he talks about his his family, but like there's also the other

Stuff that you know, it's it's dirty, but then you you also have to say to yourself He's fucking 21 I know like he's 20. He's a kid He's doing kid shit. And then he's also doing adult shit and he's he's mastered it. It's just like it's mastered. It's mastered Even with the co vid You know pandemic changing everything Joe

Still made the top 10 of global concert tours Behind only elton john Celine Dion's crazy tool Mark anthony Blake Shelton the luminaires andre Jerry Seinfeld Five finger death punch and joe Are you kidding me? Congratulations. Congratulations. It's amazing. Thank you, man. It's amazing. I mean, that's huge, dude

That was crazy one and You had 30 more shows to go We were climbing. Yeah, you were climbing that chart for sure I remember when I was at 15 and we were like we're gonna hit it. We're gonna hit the top 10 when we hit the forum Oh my god, I can't believe I mean this was all like arenas, dude. Yeah, they're all arenas. So how was the I had I had to move Right when that thing hit right when the lockdown it was like six arenas that we had to like move

I know the whole thing is just fucks everything. But I mean It's all gonna happen again for you, you know for everybody. I think everything's gonna go back to We'll be back there soon But when you like probably when you do the first arena, I assume, you know, it's like, oh my god. Yeah How was the transition for you? Like was it Pretty fluid or was it like startling to do? Um, I was nervous Because I knew I had to maintain the energy. So uh, you have a lot of you you're energetic person. Yeah, you got it

You have to uh, you gotta just remember the pure the person sitting in 300. Yeah Literally is there for a pay-per-view event, right? You know what I mean? Like they can't truly see your facial expressions unless they look at the monitor So it's like they're watching a big screen version of yeah The live view so you got to give them that show man. That's why I always look up I don't know if you watch my I always make sure I look at the balconies Always I never stay down here ever. I I always I I think I'm up there more than I am down here. That's the super thoughtful thing

Yeah, and and I and I do that with the uh with the arenas I I I stay up the whole time and I and I project out as much as I can And I go I go right left as much as I can. I I'm constantly pacing as much as I see you pay I've seen clips of you like especially Uh, some video stuff from your latest tours, you know, like where you're in these huge venues And I see you moving using the stage. Yeah, it's smart. Yeah. Also. Do you slow down your delivery? Do you have to simplify your Your material in such big audience? I cut like when I do the the the arenas I cut

I cut it so it's faster Yeah, so I get I get to my punches a little faster. Yeah, that's smart But uh, but I still also still, uh, I still do my crowd work crowd work. Yeah Like I'll do crowd work for like 15 20 and you and you have a camera guy positioned on them Yeah, yeah always and you do you start with crowd work or how do you always? Yeah? Okay, and and just and then and then I'll go into my my routine, but the routine I I always For the arenas I get them really fast tighter tighter. Yeah, because the small spaces They let you kind of explore. Yeah and big spaces. You got to keep it. Yeah, remember that so when I play the theaters

I'll I'll do uh more of my acting like I'll do my act outs Yeah, I'll sit on I'll sit on something where I know I can just get you with silence Uh-huh. Yeah, milk it. Oh, I'll milk. Yeah, but in the bigger ones. Oh, no in the theater Arenas, can you not you can't do that? Yeah, you know, I you don't want to sit too much on that Yeah, because it because they'll start to move Yeah Yeah, you got to get it going. I remembered that when we did I did oddball one summer, you know Like one of the last summers they did it and there was like amphitheaters. Yeah

So not only huge spaces, but some of them outdoors, you know, there was a couple arenas in it And we're all doing like 20 minute sets, which is great to kind of run through. Yeah But one thing you realize is like I would watch some of the comics kind of Riff and be loose And it it wouldn't that loose. This doesn't translate to the to the field where they're sitting indians I should say that but you know, yes sitting sitting on the you can say that's fine sitting on the what is it the hill? Like amphitheaters have like nights hills and people are laying out

Had to go like in those you got to get them. It was like do your Titus jokes. Yeah, where it's like clean set up clean punch and then keep it going That's who did the the best on those. Well, when you think about it too You're you're trying to get a huge or a bigger group of people to understand something. Yeah and to react It's something at the same time. Be clear and concise. Yeah, clear. Yeah, clearness. Yeah, that's so important. Yeah And keep that energy. I love energy. So yeah I've always fed off of that. I enjoy it. It's awesome to watch man. It's really cool to watch. You deserve it. Congratulations I can't wait to shoot this next one, man. I bet I can't wait, man

This this was this one. I'm really this this one that I'm about to shoot I'm like so proud of the material right now. Good, you know, I'm finally talking about my stepdad and this one So that that took a while to To figure out is he still your stepdad or no? Yeah. Yeah. He's a beautiful man. He came into my life when I was uh 14 Wow, so sergeant Fred Harrison. He's amazing. Oh sergeant. Yeah, he's amazing, man. And uh Yeah, he's the one he's the one that said rice is rice to me. I did that joke on uh On uh life from Seattle and I go all my dad said rice is rice, but it's actually my stepdad And um, oh joe you're getting emotional. You're just thinking about it. Yeah

Oh That's okay. We tell me about it. Is your stepdad. Yeah, I will Is he also a Shaq's stepdad? Yeah, yeah, we what happens is uh, these military guys Yeah, fine kids that are already made. Yeah, and then uh discipline them. It is the same last. Yeah. Yeah It is the same last. Is it really Harrison. Okay, you're right. It is Shaquille O'Neal's stepfather Yeah, he always praises his stepdad. Yeah, they're very close. That's who he calls his dad Phillip Harrison. Oh, you're right. Good memory. That's right. You know my stepdad. He you know, uh

You know like I before I came here. I had to run back to my room It was so funny because uh my my cousin's with me right now and he he drove me here from vegas and uh And he's he's driving me here, but I'm late, right? I'm I'm just a little late, right? I'm like like three minutes late and I ran back into my room to fix my bed Like fix my bed like you got to fix your bed because oh because of your step because of my yeah my stepdad He's like, you know a messy bed is a messy mind So fix your fucking bed. He put this in your mind always since I was a kid. Wow. Yeah, fix your fucking bed Wow, just fix it. So you still make your bed every day make the sheets straight

Straighten the comfort or put the pillows right and your day is going to be right We get out of bed and your bed's messy. Then you're gonna have a messy day Was he always said that was the active military when you were yeah, he was active. Oh, wow. Yeah, and yeah, I get emotional I'll stop. No, it's great. What are you talking about? He's a he's a good guy. That's a sweet thing, man. You love the guy. Yeah, yeah All right, okay Uh, let's play that shit on the fries, huh? He's uh, he's uh, he's a he's a huge dude. He's uh, you know, because he's kind of he can't breathe right now So he's uh, he's on oxygen right now. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to hear that

Um, but how fortunate. Way to bring the mood down. No, not at all. Let's change the mood a little Oh, Jesus Christ That's a big qualification. Yeah, that's on the resume for sure I don't care how much education she got Yeah, if she has children or what I just that's just none of my business Yeah, first thing that comes to my mind is how good can the woman suck a dick? And if I look at her and I feel like she can suck a dick really good and that's worth my time Right, and he's doing that all from uh, his back on that. He's spitting all that game laying down. That's uh, yeah

Is he a paraplegic? No, but the cool thing is like what a win if you're a lady, right? Like if you are a lady and you're watching this, you're like, oh, well, there's two things one this guy's Yeah, yeah, two things what a win for the lady. Yeah, and also what a compliment to the lady. Yes That's a nice compliment. I don't care your background. I don't care about your education I don't care about anything in your personal life at all. That's none of my business Which is nice, but I will say this I like your face And your lips look like they suck good dick. Yeah But aren't you guys like that salute weren't you like that in your 20s at least?

Um, I don't think he's in his 20s. Yeah, but yeah I don't think I I actually don't think I was ever quite at that level of like I don't give a fuck anything about you I don't think I was ever like you weren't like that much of a pig. No, I don't think so Who's this guy much of a pig? He's just no where you're like, I don't give a fuck as long as you suck No, no, no, you're a nice guy. No. No. I'm a nice guy. What was your game like when you were really How I had no teeth tom. What do you mean when I first started stand up? Oh, what do you mean? I fell on a rock when I was 15. So I knocked out all four of my front teeth So they're all yellow and black one was up here. So like if I smiled it looked like half a tooth

Yeah, so like like my first uh, half hour special or even comic for you. I had really fucked up teeth What did you have in there? Like just really bad Bonding yeah bonding and like just bad crowns. Did you ever use? It was bad. God all these pictures about oh that the one with the glasses That's my watch if you can zoom in on my teeth It's fucking horrendous. Oh, yeah. Look. I'm not even smiling right You're so cute. How old are you when you knocked your teeth out?

Look look look at that. Oh, yeah, like you can tell I'm missing teeth. Did you ever get like a night show? I had bad teeth something to make your teeth look better Yeah, I bought these Oh, you did that too Wait the perfect smile the fuck is that the perfect smile. It's perfect. You look perfect Wait, I've seen this before Yeah, if you have the perfect smile you can you can get away with not having perfect teeth Because the perfect smile covers it for you

And then you still go on a date. Oops my teeth fell out That's funny. That's pretty good, right? Did I see that on here? Probably that's where I saw you know, I see that Um, I don't want to hold on but now you have great teeth. Now you have perfect teeth. Yeah, your teeth look amazing. Dr. Madahi Let's see give me the winning smile Beverly Hills, baby my first my first uh big check first big check good for you For actually I'm gonna be honest my first big check was from a tour that I was on in 100 cities And uh, and it wasn't my tour and uh, and I took uh half the money and I put it in my son's account Just so I can show my mom I told you fucking comedy is gonna pay for his education. So I put that stupid bitch

Yeah, I didn't say bitch, but in my head. Yeah And then so half of that went into that and then the other half I bought my teeth. Yeah good for you Good for you. Look in teeth. It's everything if you grew up with jack because I grew up with jack teeth If ruins your whole self-esteem and people make funny you so when I had my teeth fixed it was like oh Smile every day, right? Yeah. Yep. I was that guy. I was that guy, you know that made fun of me Yeah, 100% I got called so many I would go I would go like hey, um, why don't you fix your teeth and then I just go He's he never had braces You just have those teeth. Yeah such an asshole, right? Look, we all have something. I don't got a lot going on

You got the green eyes. I got the blue blue. Oh blue eyes and then you got the perfect teeth That's it. It all stops there. I don't have hair and then I have a fucking mess, but and then it just uh You have nice lips though. Thank you. Our children have nice lips. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then you know what you have That's better than your lip your your eyes and your out your teeth Personality that's true. You got a lot of salute cheers a lot of your personality, but I'm the personality champ I don't know if you're a yeah I Yeah, that's what I always had

You don't want to hear the rest of this guys. Oh, yeah, please. I forgot She was a hoe from chicago and she cost a lot of money and I'm not into spending a lot of money Really? So Yeah, it was out of my league. He spends his money on pillows. Yeah Just fluffy speaking like they got bitches who can do anything that can like They get the sucky dick all night for like 50 dollars. So I mean that's that's a deal. That's the answer. I love that. He's like doing an ask me anything

And he was like there's your answer. That's nuts Somebody asked him. He was like, I'll give a thoughtful response To this it's amazing how how old he is like usually 20 year old boys will make a video Wait, how old is he? I don't know. We don't actually know but I mean, I'm guessing how old do you guys think he is 30 I'd say maybe early 30. Yeah. Yeah, he's he's our word. Yeah diminished capacity He seems like a nice guy to me He seems like a really nice guy to me. What is that? Like he was answering fan mail? That's what it felt like. He was like, there's your answer

I hope they answered the question like they were like, why did you write this song, man? Yeah, well, you know, I was on a flight and I had this idea. Yeah, steve from new jersey. Yeah And there's your answer. There's your answer. There's where I spent uh, I like this $50 hose that'll suck it all night. Like what? Retarded Okay, I got a I got a hoe from Chicago to suck my dick all night for $50. Oh my god. Is this master of accents good It's interesting because it's I think I've watched it and I'm 95% sure that it's english Yeah, sometimes we like to because you're somebody we all grew up with an ear for a certain accent Yeah, because we were around it, you know, like I can understand latin people with heavy accents more than

Your average person because I'm like, oh that accent is familiar, right? Just like you with Filipino person you with Hungarian Sometimes we find accents like that. Sometimes it's accents of english-speaking people Which always blows my mind. Oh my god, because you're like, this is our native tongue. Yeah, and the accent is so strong Yeah, especially if it's somewhere in the uk So I don't I haven't heard this one yet, but let's let's see what it is. Sometimes they're easier to decipher than others Hey, oh, yeah. Oh, well it's all got full free shooter challenges And what not

I think you were discover So I wonder if any of me this is now a new challenge What the fuck is he saying? Okay, non-fliver Okay, what is that? He's speaking english Um, but he's definitely not a native english speaker. No So this video he is south african Okay, okay, so but he spoke africans for that's his

First language and then they were like you gotta just fucking try english. Yeah, there's something about a challenge I got that that there's like yeah some type of condom challenge. Yeah. Yeah at home like he did this because of quarantine He's doing this to raise money. Yeah, great. Yeah for yeah, holy shit The lady the background I don't like it wait that's africans, right? Fuck is wrong with this guy He's like snorting a condom up in there. He's gonna choke himself. He's all right. He's got it I can feel how I like it. I don't like it. Is that his daughter behind him? I think it's his wife If you did this I divorce you this is so

He's alive for the party though. He does this everywhere. He goes there's fucking Bert. Yeah. Yeah, you got a condom. I did something crazy Uh, Jesus, but that first one. I mean was this all english? Hey You know what this is I know what this is it's two different accents It's two accents. It's two accents. Is he also going between two like is he saying english and africans? Yeah, I feel like some of that doesn't sound like english, right? Like challenge is an english word which would make sense like you use the The popular it's like a spanglish. Yeah, I was gonna say that he's saying both I think

It's only the video near me. It's not like video is english, but the rest of that No, you can do a challenge Yeah, he's put three O's in condom too. Yeah I think you pulled And you're like, what's he saying in fucking dutch? I don't know Me and Zola were sitting there for like 15 minutes. That's why you couldn't understand I don't think because we kept on hearing the english. Yeah, you're like challenge video Now it's one it's one word. Yeah, and also, you know all the uh, uh, the dry heaves and how

Disappointed his wife is in the background. Yeah, that is fun. Yeah, she's smoking in the background. Yeah She's smoking. She's like you gotta change your fucking habits, bro. Yeah sticking condoms up your nose. Yeah, you got problems, man I'm not sucking your dick with this clean mouth I'll tell you what I really like because we've talked about this kind of thing before and I've never seen a video like this Hi, good morning. I just thought maybe I would answer that kind of question with a video message because I can't really answer that kind of question. I mean accurately. You're just going to be like, yeah, sure Of course, she knows what you do. So for those listening, there's a pretty girl Um, and she the question

Or what she posted on the screen is some guy on ig asked if my mom knows what I do lol This is my reply. So she's that's the question she's answering. Does your mom know what you do? This is my mom. She lives with me These are my boobs. And yes, she knows what I do for a living. In fact, she's actually my personal assistant Yes, I am and I'm very proud of her I don't know why guys try to shame you with that kind of shit, man. Like I am very proud of what I do. I'm very successful at what I do My mom is very proud and she is very successful

I'm her biggest fan So fuck you first of all, but you know also Hi There you go I think she does uh like an only fans kind of oh right Would you be proud of your son if you had like an only fans? Would you manage them? I you know, I'm not gonna lie. I've been distracted because her teeth are so fucked up I agree and I didn't want to say it. I didn't really pay attention

Yeah, because she because she's doing one of those big smiles where it reveals the back tooth. Yeah the famine tooth. Yeah, it's like I Know and if she's so like yeah, I you can't date a girl that smiles big and then you're seeing yeah an empty space back here Yeah, yeah, that's a big tooth. Well like I go missing. I think to follow your lead You said you you know, you had fucked up teeth and you've got that check and you fixed them. She's saying I'm super successful Yeah, so no, you're not No, you are not successful, right? You have dog hair on your shirt Your mom's your manager and you have cracked teeth. Yeah

I like you smoked your fucking teeth So fuck you. Yeah, tom would call her a village donkey. Yeah, she's a village donkey Are you watching 90 day fiance before the 90 days the greatest show? Oh, what you gotta get on it? Really? I'm on it. I'm doing that today today. I'm sorry Before the 90 days, okay, there's two shows. There's the flagship show Filipino girl. Yeah, there's a Filipino girl on it Rose Well, now I have now you don't love it Well, you'll see because the white guy goes over there and he's like there's no air conditioning

Like and he freaks out. Yeah, and she doesn't shave her legs But also she's 23 From a village. Yeah, I mean from a small. I mean she's so poor He's 58 or something like it's a huge age gap And um, you know, he's smitten with this girl and he also hasn't been with a woman in years And you know, yeah, it's it's a fun kind of I think we can show you the it's called what It's uh 90 day fiance before the 90 days. So it's like there. So this is the couple Oh, Jesus. It's me on the left

and Rose your cousin on the right and we're a couple Yeah, well that is her. He's really sweet. He is sweet. Yeah, he looks like a nice person He is actually very sweet. Yeah, he looks but he also has no tact because he hasn't been with a woman. Yeah in so long that he's like Hey, uh leg hair And he tells her that her breath is bad And that she needs to like okay. I have a question for you, Joe

If you were dating a woman, that's a good one for you and it's in the beginning and you really like her The one I mean she's special, but the breath is kicking. Yeah, man. What are you doing? I I did that? I did have a girlfriend one That uh that had the breath. No, and I made it work and it just it was It was the end all I had to it had to go. Yeah, tell me everything. So did you bring it up? Did you try to fix it? One time I said something. What'd you say? Well, she went to uh, she went to like a

Dennis wait, wait, how long had have you been seeing each other? Maybe like four months. Oh, okay And she got she went and got a teeth cleaning like like a deep and you're like cleaning Yeah, I was I was like, yeah, man, maybe we can maybe there's a stone back there like a A tonsil ball that's lodged between your tongue and your throat Maybe they'll dig it out and this'll be over and she came back and it just smelled like Uh, uh, minty minty shit minty shit. Yeah, like like the the breath was still there But just a hint of mint on it. Mm-hmm and I said something What'd you say I I forgot what I said, but it was like it was like not like being mean, but I'm just like I I think they're like

Uh, there's stuff still on there Like like a deeper cleaning. Is there a deeper cleaning? And she goes I can probably do that. I can get I think she knew Yeah, but she was blaming on her coffee And I'm like, that's not I like coffee, you know, we like like if you have coffee breath I go I I could use some coffee right now, right? Yeah, but I don't do that with you I I remember that was her diet. Maybe yo, you know, that's another thing a lot of people say it's the diet They're like, oh, there must be the diet. That's no it's there's a dead

There's a dead piece of meat Maybe stuck between the two she tells him she goes I have ulcer No, that that's impossible and then in it's a cavity. What's that? Or they don't floss or his tonsil stones, you know, I broke up with a girl because of her feet Really? Yeah. Have you done that? I've uh, yes. I actually was like I I did I this girl I was like she was cute. Yeah, she really liked me and then I was like And I I we went out on a date and I was like I couldn't yeah I think I went on a date with this girl for like like two dates

The three dates and I just remember like her fucking foot bro Like it was it was and we were hitting it off good. What were the nails dirty overgrown It's just like crooked and spaced But they're like And then we're an open toe. Yeah, and they're hanging over and they're hanging like the pinky was like I don't want to be a part of the shoe. Like did you see them? Did you see them first date? No, I didn't It was like the second time I was like, oh

Fuck yeah, the fuck are you doing? Did you tell her? No? I was just like this would be funny if you told her Yeah Like everything's great, but yeah Jesus Christ. You guys are superficial. I'm just gonna put it out there. Come on. How dare you stop. How dare you? Yeah, and I I hear you on that dude If the person was shit, they had bad feet. I'd be like, all right, but was she cool But here's the thing. This girl was a gem. She really was Christina. Christina women or I'm gonna get I'm gonna get shamed No, you're not do it women women are different than guys though. Women are fucking stupid. We know no, I didn't say that

You don't have to I said women don't really care about us women are attracted to like like like frumpy guys Like they love the dad bod. Yeah the the good the hair not everybody. That's a burly man. I like it Look at him. It's a fucking piece of shit I With beautiful eyes. Thank you. No, but there are some nice teeth and nice teeth There are some women who are superficial too that only go for like the rock and bods. Yeah, and like right perfect We're not even saying anything. Yeah, but those are horrors. Like I'm talking about a woman. Yes A real woman

You made the right decision, man. It wouldn't have worked out. It wouldn't have worked out. No I don't want a date a girl that puts on my shoe and goes. Oh my god. These are cute on me like no No, no, I'm an 11 and a half man. What's up with those fucking talents? What are you doing? Are you doing go catch fish? Yeah, okay. Would you rather okay? What's a deal breaker? What's a deal breaker? Okay, obviously bad feet breath breath. What if she was like A hardcore It's just quiet look I love Jewish people. What if she was really into wrestling like she

Like in bed like wrestling no Like she's like she believes it's real. I love that you did you like it? Yeah Shut up you love it. Yeah, I like that girl that takes interest in any any type of Okay, what about a jesus freak where she's like, I love the lord and that'll end That will end that will end. Yeah. That's what do you think that'll end? Don't don't all right. You just you just you just presented pray before we eat. No like fuck. Fuck. You know what? It's cereal. It's fucking frosted for you. Yeah, it's horrible. You brought up a good. I gotta I gotta make Because I was really rough on wrestling fans earlier today

um Had like kind of violent episode. Yeah, and I said some really mean things But I want to make it clear. Yeah that like they were kind of like one of the first on my execution list Yeah, but I think jesus freaks like it didn't come up. They're higher on the list. Yeah, they suck Oh 100% yeah, no, but I didn't deal breaker. We didn't consent like first. We're talking about flat earthers. Yeah, you know Yeah, and they're done too. I'll stay with it. I like I like flatter We'll talk all day. No be real like you have to live with this person marry this person have children Flat earther no over jesus. Yeah

Flat earther Really? I know now that it's come up. I think A flat earther is interesting because it you can talk you know, they're dumb and you know But you can toy with them. It's like playing with a dog or something. It's fun. It's conspiracy. Who doesn't like conspiracy? Yeah, it's fun jesus. It's okay. Okay. What about I can't I'm what about a hardcore vegan and she makes you go fuck yourself Yeah, I can't no it's terrible. You know what I'll say hate from a hardcore vegan a bitch that only eats chicken What right? I broke up with two girls that only ate chicken. Oh, you mean like you go to like oh fancy restaurant They're like

No chicken like no Fuck get out of here. The fuck out of here. I'm the same get out of here lorries. Go pray to jesus and watch the fucking ww I'll be real a deal breaker for me is I don't I don't eat that. I don't try that. I don't eat sushi. I don't I've never traveled Filipino food What is that? Yeah, and they're like like sushi and you're like that's not from our country

Okay, what about dolls she has a room full of that there's something wrong with her Mentally no seriously. There's definitely something if there's a girl a bunch of dolls dolls Yeah, what if okay, what if everything how about a how about a girl with an ig full of selfies? Hi, bitch Also, what if I sell at least you ever seen selfies where the selfie is all the same framing like it's not just selfies But you're like this isn't even it's the same picture. Oh, it's the same picture. Yeah, it's like yeah every single one Every every like every single one. I don't know. Could you fucking move your arm? Yeah for one of these

Can you put a tree behind you? Yeah? Okay, what if everything's awesome like yeah nice feet doesn't talk about jesus. Oh sounds good already. It's got it got it Oh You just got you're your Filipino fan base. It's just went through the fucking room all this shit, right? Yes, this shit. Yes, but Every time you come like you're out you come home from the tour Yeah, you're like I just did fucking Madison Square Garden and you walk in and she's always watching puppy dog pal which is

It's a it's an animated show our friend harlem Williams created. Yeah, but it's for young For all this watching puppy dog pal. And then when you're like, hey, what's up? She's like bingo was with Raleigh and they went to the park and there was the water park was closed Yeah, like what and this is like the the artwork up there on this like oh shit But like always it actually is a cute show so like even then sometimes like You know you go you work out and you come home and she's in bed and you're like what's going on She's like I'm watching puppy dog. Yeah, Jesus christ. Yeah, so every time you catch her watching something It's this children's show. Yeah, and she talks about it. Like it's the sopranos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like it's a weekly

Yeah, like she's like catching up. She goes i'm catching up. I'm bingeing the new season. I'm bingeing the whole season Which is also animated. So it's like 42 episodes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly Like do you what you know, would you be like this is a deal breaker? Yeah, it's done. It's done. Yeah, how quickly very fast Really? Yeah, you're like this is just like get the fuck out of here. Really? Yeah But she's like this is a great story. He's great characters. Yeah, what do you not see in it? Wait, but you couldn't even try in the beginning to watch with her and you're getting into the music It would be over. Yeah, it's yeah I mean we watch it when going on a mission. I watch it with our son and i'm like, yeah, it's cute. It's a good show

It's a good. No, I pull my phone up. I'm like, no, you're gonna have to watch it with your son But do you watch it without your son? Never What about sesame street is she watching sesame street? Who am I dating? Yeah, sesame street has a little more variety It's like the hottest. It's a model. Yeah, it's like she's hot. She's smart Like I said, like you your friends meet her first and your family and they're like, oh, fuck. She's amazing How did you get that? Yeah, and then like it's like when you actually give her the key you're like live with me

But she eats cookies like this Yes, and then she goes hey joe and you're like what she goes I can count one two three four five six seven eight nine ten Ten I had ten cookies and you're like, what the fuck? All right, and then she gives you a blow job and you're like, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah So it's weird. It goes like between When she when she's in a bad like in a grumpy mood. She always comes around the corner like this. Hey Yes Yes

Yeah, or if like sometimes you wake up you're like, hi, she's like, I'm grumpy today I'm gonna be in the trash and then she puts like a trash can over her head when she's about to blow you She looks at your things. She goes, oh, I love your dad Right, it's weird, but it's not okay, but she's also great. She's great. You love her. Yeah I don't know Yeah Right. Yeah, but she's smoking, right? Like and your son's like, hey, uh, when you're gone today Um, I practice the alphabet with a girlfriend

What? Yeah, and you're like what and she's like you're like, he's like She just wanted to show me like you come home from a gig and she goes, I can write my name in cursive now. Yes Yes, and she shows you and it's horrible cursive. Yep, but she knows her primary colors Yeah, but like she cooked for you and you know like she can cook she can really call pino food all your favorite things She can fry spam medium rare. She's fucking dope, man. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, you're in yeah, I'm in See I mean, I would you watch adult adult con not pornography Well, every time you watch movies with me if I were like, hey, let's watch this new

Killing Eve the show, right? Would you get into that with me as well? Would you complain about it? Be like, oh no, no puppy dog pals, but I guess I'll watch Killing Eve No, every time you put on an adult show this supposed person goes I Want to watch Sesame's car you watch everything. Yeah like that So you got to you have to be like and they don't stop doing that until you put on sesame. Yeah, we're puppy dog pals Okay, okay, and then she goes today. I can count to 18. She gives you like her progress count. Yeah What does her oatmeal the only oatmeal she eats is the one with the dinosaur eggs? Yes. Yes. Yes

And every time something is a color. Yeah, she tells you what colors make that color. Yeah So like she's like if you're like that's green. She's like blue and yellow makes green. Yeah, I know. Yeah Yeah, the worst. Yeah, she gives you the worst information Right. Yeah, always. Oh it never stops a spider has eight legs. You're like, Jesus Christ. I know Yeah, new yorkers have the best pizza I love it there. Did you know that a cat up Has so many legs and they make um, then they be but I come they can become a butterfly and you're like shut the fuck up Yes, I picked a scab today

Yeah, okay, but what if she was still fully adult she doesn't watch puppy dog pals. Yeah, but She wears a diaper No, she wait, but hear me out. You don't have to change it. No, no, that's she makes brown and yellow in the diaper and it's her Secret it's her thing. Yeah, you don't have to deal with it. No, you don't even know. Yeah Think about no, I thought about it. That's I can't that's that's pass. Yeah You don't really you smell it I couldn't do that, but then you tell her like it's time to change your dye dye. Oh my god I want a powder

He imagined if he was like, you know, fucked up feet and I really might think but you know diaper adult diaper I can kind of deal with I can I could wipe somebody I could do that change the diaper if you were into that I'd be like, all right It's your thing, but it's you would change my dye. I wouldn't change it. You have to change around I think a woman I think I think a woman would change the diaper before a guy would change diaper I don't know. That's for sure. I don't know for sure. Yes. I don't know all I know is I wouldn't care if you did What if I just what if you what if I asked you just to change my pee pee diapers? I already do it for two for one other. I'm not doing it for that's what I'm saying

It's like I'm not asking you to clean up shit. I'm just like I just go pee pee It's so annoying. It's it's hard enough doing it with two children One more. I don't want another kid. I know but I'm like, this is what I like If it's after our kids go to college, maybe you want me to start that then? All right. Yeah, that's fine. Jesus christ That's like 14 years from now It's okay, and then I could be like I got pee pee. Yeah, that's fine. Wait jokoi. What if Okay, what if your lady she's perfect. Okay, but she had to toe perfect like ideal mind and body But okay, she likes to jar

And categorize her browns You hurt her what her shit? She takes dump. Oh, come on. You don't see you do have to pay for the store It's out back. It's out back. It's out back. There's a shed and you know, it's a collection of human shit But she has like scores and like information on each one. That's what she's into But she doesn't let it bleed into anything else. Just sometimes people are like, hey, is there a pain out there? And you have to be like, it's something else You know, you have to hide it a little bit And every now and then you have uh friends come over and they ask for something to drink and she she pours in a jar

Yeah, you don't know if it's an old jar And she wakes at you and she just kind of wakes. She's like, you know what these are for You know what these are but then she she she she she does this like Tim tight like don't say anything. Oh say anything. Oh suck your dick. Yep Just don't say just don't say anything. Let your mom drink out of that jar. Let your mom drink out of your jar Let your mom drink out of the jar. Hey, look Let your mom drink out of the jar I'll suck the tip

See, it's not so bad. That's not so bad. You'd tolerate that, right? Yeah. Yeah, because it's in the shed. You're not gonna deal with it It's clean. Yeah, I don't say I don't care what a woman's job is or how much education she got She got she has children or what? I just that's just none of my business First thing that comes to my mind is how good can the woman suck a dick? Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. I don't care what education she got um, so hopefully we're coming I hope we're like Seeing the light in the tunnel. Yes on the virus. I forgot there was a pandemic. That's so much fun I was having. Yeah, if that's Vegas there is no pandemic I just want you guys to know Vegas nothing. There's no pandemic. Well, the mayor was famously all over the mayor

Don't give a fuck. She was like open the casinos and they're like, what about social distancing? She's like, you know what the mayor said the mayor's the mayor's like, can we open the buffets? Yeah, what and grab the crabs with your hands. Yeah, don't give a fuck. We need to gamble Yeah, wow And I guess it worked out for for Vegas They still haven't opened but the people people don't give a shit out there. They don't It's already it's 91 degrees right now virus is dead. It's killing the virus virus is dead. Fuck you rona That's written on the side of the Bellagio

Fuck you rona You get you get 40 off if you if you have rona in your name. I love that's a good t-shirt Yeah, you know who weighed in on this whole coronavirus thing. Yeah our homeboy tate You know the guy talks about women should clean up. Oh, I love him. Yeah, he's my favorite You're gonna let me tell you something about corona logic It takes none of you have fucking thought about four out of five people are asymptomatic That means four out of five people show no symptoms at all Because I've got bitches all around the world. I've had women in Dubai. I've had women in different countries message me

Oh my god, I have corona with a positive test. They ain't lying to me positive corona test picture They start freaking out crying and send me voice notes crying and everything two days later. I'm like, are you okay? Like yeah, I've got a little bit of sore throat. I feel fine a day later done. Yeah, I'm totally fine now Harvey any symptoms at all when you see these long threads on twitter people going I caught corona next day My temperature was so high. They're just idiots attention seeking pussies. That's what they are a 104 year old man Just beat corona. I saw him fucking twitter these people are pussies I caught corona and then my vagina started to hurt because they're bitches because I know these girls who are sending me their positive test They ain't iron men. They ain't strong like me. These are I fuck these hoes. I know these hoes. They ain't strong

I do like this fanny pack. That's a product a product fanny pack. It's a good one. It's a good one You gotta love that. Here's and you know what's in that fanny pack this this the display stuffing He hasn't taken it out yet. Oh, yeah, because that is perfectly it is Perfectly shaped when you buy when you take the stuffing out is never looks like that All right, you're I I have so much of that. Do you know cobertate? No, I love him though. I love this guy. He's the best. I love this guy I don't believe I would never believe anything. He says I just enjoy listening to it He has so he'll sell me anything. Well tom look at his background here. He usually green screens a mansion

He didn't even bother with the green screen. Yeah, I think he's just making videos wherever he gets inspiration Now the only water I drink is sparkling water because sparkling water is for rich people and I'll tell you why You can get non-carbonated water. Yeah, still water from the fucking tap. Yeah, the government gives you that shit. That's effectively for free Sparkling water you have to buy So if you only drink sparkling water, you only drink rich man's water I explain this to someone some bumba-claw and of course he replied with the typical book, but I don't like sparkling You don't like sparkling water. You don't like water. Yeah, but the bubbles The bubbles you scared of bubbles you little bitch. Wow. See this guy. He's the fucking man. Yeah, I'm speaking for you

That's motivation. Yeah, if you have a corporation that that's not being successful Bring this fucking man. He'll turn it around. He'll turn it around. He He really understands like he gets it all, you know, yeah women Oh, it's cut to the chase here. Yes women should clean up Not only should women clean up women should clean up unprompted. I'm gonna tell you why Yes, it's very very simple. We live in a world where things need to be fair 50 50 gender equality blah, blah I pay for things unprompted. You don't have to ask me to pay for shit if we go for dinner I'll get my wall out pay at the end. Don't even check the price of the bill. My card always works

Oof Sparkling water overdraft protection That's why yeah, that's why what unprompted if you're with me your life is effectively free Everywhere you eat everywhere you go where you sleep you ain't paying for shit You ain't getting in my car and i'm asking you for motherfucking gas money No, I pay for everything instantly as a man should That's nice. You know what by the way though The echo yeah, the audio he's in a garage right it doesn't match that looks weird

What do you think nadavi saying it's not a green screen? I don't think this is a green screen No, that's a green screen for sure. I've seen this in a in a different angle like from a just a different angle Like it's the only thing is it the way that the sofa meets the ottoman looks. Yeah, that looks weird But and what's this wood ramp in the background on the right? It's like And the gold the gold record. Yeah, how many gold records does he have? It's interesting and there's a fax machine. You know what there's about this I don't care about his decor the guy's message is on point. It is true tom So not much more. You can say about that. It's true a date with tate

Date with tate tate speech. Yeah, that's a good show. He's like a date with tate. Did you clean up today, bitch? Yeah, that would be a great show. I would I'm tate. I'm tate. This is our first day. So scared. What do you like to eat? What do you like to eat? I'm sorry. I'm sorry steak. Can I clean up? Only rich people each state Should I order sparkling water? Shut the fuck up Dude, he's so right. Is that good? That was great. Really good. Yeah. We don't fuck a what so macho. Yeah. Yeah, okay There's other guys who speak aim Check this out. Oh, this is all you niggas out there

You heard me real talk. This is all you niggas out there who'll be scared to bring y'all bitches around me You heard me. I ain't gonna fuck them stanky hoes y'all fuck with Them hoes ain't no good Them hoes scared. Is this a motherfucker? I already got to deal with a couple stanky hoes. You heard me? I'm just saying bring them hoes and you know Just just to have a little fun put them hoes on some boy shirt But nigga ain't trying to fuck y'all this stanky hoes out y'all real I'm telling you it's a real nigga shit. Y'all niggas need to stop that pussy ass shit out there, man

Y'all nigga be doing the fucking most Straight up y'all niggas be like y'all scared to bring them over on a nigga. They love them hoes Look at the height man. It's a woman. Yeah, y'all better do like squall and pop let a hoe be a hoe Straight up. Okay. Fuck. Fuck. Why don't you let a hoe be a hoe? She gonna be a hoe. She gonna be a hoe You can't do number land any step or move around Pass the hoe to me. I take There you go. It's nice That's nice

You know it's bother. How do you pass a hoe around? Do you throw her? Do you physically throw her? I think like hey tom It's a bit of a shove. Fuck that. Oh, thanks He's got a good point actually though. He does have a good point I mean if you're like this hoe's gonna stop. I mean if she's a hoe that's really who she is Yeah, nothing you can do to stop it. Yeah, she blew you at a nightclub She's not your love. She's not a good girl. That's not that's not the one. No, that's not the one. She's magical

But she's gonna keep doing that. She's definitely a unicorn. Yeah No, but don't be mad if she blows another person at the nightclub. No What's bothering me is that he's driving and then looking into the camera at the same time It's like when you have a driver he's making content When they look in the rear view as you ever had that joe when you're driving the airport and the driver will have a full conversation He's looking at you and you're like, don't look at me asshole. We had one one time who took us for it was a long It was like a 25 mile ride, you know, and he was just like Look the thing is the whole time I was like, geez and this is like on the freeways changing lanes

I'm like, god damn it, man. Like sometimes they Fully don't give a fuck. Yeah. No. No, that's why that's when I started to go to suvs for uber I was like that's what I do cars and I was like these guys are too unsafe to feel like in the back of this shit, man Go fuck every whore Yeah, the whore The whore that oh, she came to fuck you. I never had no man in my life, bitch Oh, how did the bitch find you? The bitch couldn't have fucking known you this doesn't it must have been after attacking me

Who is this? And why is this? Yeah, who and why it was just a cool lady that we found a couple weeks ago She's also got cool teeth. The lighting is all the teeth. The lighting is impeccable. I want teeth are amazing Yeah, I love it like turn you can't turn a light on to make a video That's the weirdest thing. Yeah, I've never seen that Was she was she in the middle? Was she like like sleeping and woke up and like I got some shit. It does seem like I got some shit It's middle of the night shit. She's so fired up

Fuck every whore. Yeah, she didn't know who the fuck you was. She didn't know who the fuck you was, bitch Can we stop it real quick? Yeah Did she just brush the top part of her teeth her whole life? Because of the gaps. Yeah The top is perf the perfominal It's perfect and phenomenal. Look at it the bottom the top is You

You're right Joe, how does she have all the top and then all of the top perfectly straight? Look at that. Look at that smile. I see her back teeth such a select few on the bottom Space social distancing. I'll say that much who your bitch is Your ugly bitch. That's who the fuck you think you're gonna be to your ugly fucking bastard Wow, yeah, it's a really upset. Okay. Is this a selfie video or is there a woman in front of her that she's yelling at? This is definitely a solo. This is a solo. Yeah, she's using the light of yeah, if your friend is recording this right away They're like, I don't think you want to post this. Yeah Go ahead. He's dead. I'm gonna

He's dead. He's dead He's dead. Why don't you go fuck the virgin mary, bitch? Don't fuck the virgin mary. She loves to fuck any fucking pig. She never fucking knew All right. Now this is where we draw the line. No, it is very offensive. That's offensive. That is offensive Is she Puerto Rican? Yes 100% knew it 100% All right shoulder straps we got to wrap this up. I want to tell um People who listen to this show especially the wrestling fans Here we go

You know, I was irritated earlier and I think I said some things that I um I regret you know, yeah, like I I don't know. I really put them down. I put the whole sport down. Why would you do that? You put in a dog down. Could you apologize? So why would you do that? I was really I was I was irritated and I I was Irritated I was irritated and um, I just was I was looking at a target and they were the easy target. Yeah, and I don't think I should You know put down a whole

fan base or a group of people that work really hard to entertain the way that those people do. Yeah, so I feel badly That I insulted them and their whole, you know, I mean their whole like I feel like even even if that whole fan base is just a bunch of losers. It's not fair for me. That's not an apology. I'm sorry That's uh You went right back. You got you got on you got on the right path. Yeah, and then you you fucking stepped on the gravel Well, let me just give like a thank you for acknowledging my feelings. Yeah, I'll just do a see this all the time and nobody validates Oh, no one does he's sway. He's a swear. No, he's been manipulating me emotionally for a long 15 years. Oh, he's that guy Yeah, how do we go there? Yeah gaslight. He's a gaslighter. What did I do? He's a fucking gaslight. I see that

How did I guess like you? Well, you say you say you say You say you say shit with a smile, right like this, right? Yeah, you know where that? Yeah, well, there you go. I've never done that. Has he done that to you? Even just now he turquoise Interesting choice. Yeah, but even now he was like, I'm sorry. I called you guys stupid, you know, even though you are Yeah, yeah. All right. Let me do it again. Jesus. Hey Wrestling fans. Oh, okay. I'll sit here. So there's a good sound bite. Yeah wrestling is real And those guys are talented wow and the fans are cool Jesus

Josh this is awful and this is fucking off. I respect it as a sport Fuck you You you're an asshole. I I just did a thing. No, you didn't do anything. What are you talking about? I said They're it's real. Yeah, they're talented. It's a real thing. I understand it. They're the best good athletes I'm a big fan. What what did I do? How dare you? It's just it's not genuine All right, let me try again. You should bring diamond dallas page on your show. He's an amazing He's got his own yoga. I know his yoga is very very he's a genius

Now he scripts out the yoga thing x wwe Yeah, I want you to do the same thing in front of him. He scripts out the yoga I want you to do that. No, I want you to do that little speech and he lets you know where the yoga is going to go beforehand Yeah, and then he shows you know because it's very popular. I'd like to look that oh, he's he's amazing diamond dallas yoga Yeah, yeah No, I you're done. I will say you're done, bro to the wrestling fan base out there. You are completely retarded that's Was it much of an apology was it? Yeah

All right, here's the real one. All right. I've been fucking around. Here's the room. You're losing. Here's the real one. You're losing I was joking. I'm joking. Yeah, I'm joking. Here's the real one I saw your last special first occasions a lot of wwe fans in your audience And there's there's the real one. They're fucking gone. Here's the real one. I was joking. This was all a bit okay Of course, I understand why people love wrestling. It's awesome. Those guys are real athletes those Yeah, maybe it's like stunts, but try that you get fucking hurt those guys are the real deal and the drama involved I mean, you can follow it like you can follow anything. It's like a show

It's like a fucking soap opera for men and I think it's great. I fucking love wrestling Cut that and put that out. That's good. That's good. That's good a soap opera for men is accurate I think you're right. Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. It's good versus evil No, I've heard some fucking moron say that so I just all right Stupid idiots. Yeah fucking idiots Go follow a real sport all right, uh Hands down the best couple. Thanks, buddy. Fucking amazing. You see what I put up

Thank you for coming in here today. Thanks for coming. You know why you're a turn on to tom I'm gonna tell you I broke it down just just in this interview found it No, because you forgot to ask one question. Oh Would you date a girl that likes to fart and burp? Tom's and he loves it, doesn't he I'll tell you what Yeah, yeah, he doesn't because I've had guys before him that were like nah, bitch Yeah, they didn't like it. Yeah about me because I keep it real. Yeah a lot of dudes can't handle that. Yeah There's there's but there's also there's also here's another thing

Uh, there's also girls that he's probably dated if they would have farted. He would have been like fucking gross Am I right? Because I've I've dated a couple girls that I'm like Don't fucking ever fart in front of me That's gross. Do you but then there's these girls that I've dated. I'm like, oh That's a good one because you really like them because I really like them. Do you fart in front of them? Are you a big fart? Oh 100 I fart in front of all of them. I don't give up The only thing that I I'm really interested in a girl is her face and if she can suck good day

That's all anything else It's not really my It's not really my Especially she's a hoe from yeah, she's a hoe from Chicago I can get a girl suck my dick $50 all day. Yeah, you know all day all day all day $50. It's a good deal in Chicago Right. Yeah, that's all you gotta look for now. You're the best dude. Thank you for coming in here today. I love you too I hope you come back again when uh things the climate and not that you come back anytime, but you know Yeah, I can't wait now. Can you guys do mine? Yeah. Thank you. I had a great time on yours. I did yes

Yeah, it was great like again. I want you back again. I'll do it again. You too. Yeah, I love it. I love it I love it. Um, we're gonna wrap up. I'm gonna fucking fight you after this shit right now Oh my god. He's so fired up today That's it. Thanks for coming today, Joe. You're fucking dead. Go ahead and wrap this up. Bye Your jeans so tight your ass looks nice. You look so funny. Yeah With your jeans so tight your ass looks nice. You look so fine. Yeah Everybody knows getting the hat was so cheating. I was trying to find you but you both are always leaving And when I tell you how it happened just believe it thing is I've been back up and you don't even relieve it

Justina ain't a fact. She stole the valor Why she always disrespecting on her And the keys was on the table. That's a fact, but you don't want to lose any juice or time. You just agree with that Any you the shit young boy Tall and fit young boy, you need a shit young boy. Yeah You bet you remember that's a girl I wouldn't tap that Pottery kind of girls on the fuck you got so much now Everybody knows getting the hat was so cheating. I was trying to find you but you both are always leaving

And when I tell you how it happened just believe it thing is I've been back up and you don't even relieve it But your jeans so tight your ass looks nice. You look so fine. Yeah With your jeans so tight your ass looks nice. You look so fine. Yeah Everybody knows getting the hat was so cheating. I was trying to find you but you both are always leaving And when I tell you how it happened just believe it thing is I've been back up and you don't even relieve it So that's your excuse to fucking just cheat on me That is, that is cheating. That's where I'm stuck