Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 554 - Ryan Sickler - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 3, 2020

Full disclosure. The person writing this description isn’t exactly sure how to put what occurred during this episode into words.... We start out discussing how Tom and Christina had very different styles of “Senior Week.” 3 beers Tom made an appearance during the holiday and Mystic Rick has captured the hearts of wrestling fans around the world. Next, we have apprehended top of the line “cups” and they fully engulf Josh Potter. Finally, Ryan Sickler (comedian and host of the HoneyDew Podcast) joins the show. We discuss the new move of HoneyDew to it’s own channel and then get into some of the most disgusting YMH content we may have ever seen. This episode leaves everyone in a heap of tears and nausea. It is not to be missed. Again, very tough to describe in words what was just witnessed. Good luck.

Hey, so we wanted to just come in here real quick for this episode and discuss something. Normally we don't do this. Our shows are recorded usually a week in advance just based on the production schedule here and the post schedule. And it just felt weird to put out the episode with like zero acknowledgment of what's going on right now. The absolute apocalyptic chaos that's happening in the world. And then I know some people go like, well, that's why I watch this or that's why I listen

as a departure from everything going on. But you know, it's it's what we want to do. So yeah, and just acknowledge what's happening in the world and say that we listen, my heart is so heavy and it's I'm physically body aches from watching what's happening right now. It's yeah, it's it's like it's a horrific thing. To have seen the you know, the footage of of Floyd George Floyd getting murdered and then the kind of what that unleashed was, you know, it's a it's a traumatic thing.

It should be a traumatic thing to for everybody. I'm like crying. I'm so emotional now. Yeah, because it's been emotionally charged horrible week and like the thing that kills me is the officer had his fucking hands in his pockets. Yes. It was so like, no biggie. I'm just doing this.

He was casual. Yeah, casual. Like when you're bored, you put your hands in your pockets. Yeah, you're bored. So it was a horrible thing to watch. And then, you know, I will say that I think one of the things that's happening that's also disappointing is that, you know, no one wants to see the rioting and the looting. And but when people go, go like, that's the only thing happening, but it's not.

It's not the only thing happening. There are peaceful. There's many more peaceful protesters than there are looters. And if you are denying that, you know, you're lying that there's thousands more people peacefully protesting. It gets it gets we get distracted from it by by seeing the looting and the rioting. And then you go like, oh, that's that's what people are doing, but that's not the only thing people are doing.

And if you're like, there's no reason for that, you know, you shouldn't be looting and rioting. You're you're destroying property, you're ruining businesses, you're, you know, you're not helping. But if you don't want to acknowledge why people are frustrated and angry, you know, you're you're being lazy, you're being willfully ignorant. If you're going to just act like no, then there's no I don't understand why people are doing this.

But maybe you should spend some time trying to figure it out. Okay. Like if you need somebody to, you know, explain that to you to, you know, have a few conversations maybe, maybe listen a little bit. So look, it's it's been deeply but we live in a city that's been very, very affected by it. If you're following the news at all, there's new neighborhoods every night, and I'll let Ryan will tell you his own experience shortly, not on this episode, but on one of the upcoming

episodes of The Honeydew. He had a really, really terrifying experience in the. Yeah. Yeah. He was trying to salvage something. And yeah, it's very, very scary. It's scary. It's sad.

And it's just hard. It's especially as a parent, too. You just think like, what is the world? How do how to? Yeah. What's going to happen? It's just like a depressing thing to witness. But you know, I a lot of it, I understand why why people are frustrated.

I understand why people are upset. And I'd hope that you could, you know, make the effort to try to understand why people are frustrated and upset, too. And it's like, you know, we've we've seen so many times, you know, unarmed black men hurt or killed by the police. And it has become to the point where you just are like, oh, yeah, that happened again. Yeah. That's disturbing that we go like, yeah, that's what happens.

And that's the police. You're supposed to trust the police and all people. It's important to acknowledge that there are great police officers. The whole idea that we're, you know, that to be anti police is not helpful in the least. The the the thing you want is for, you know, I think personally, like if you go like, well, what is the what what's the end game here? I think the end game is to just have better communication between these two, you know, groups of people.

And hopefully you get to a point where you work, where you view the police the way you did when you were a kid, like when you're a kid, you know, they tell you, yeah, like, you know, the police help you, they protect you there. You can try to go to the police, go to the police and and and I think a lot of people have that experience still like as adults, but there's a huge segment of the population that doesn't. And and yeah, demonizing all police isn't helpful. I know I know great police officers.

I've I've I've I've done ride-alongs with white officers, black officers, Asian officers. I've done it in different cities. I've been invited by people that listen to the show. They come out great. There are great people in it's a noble profession, you know, but there are bad cultures and there are definitely bad people as well. Like this Chauvin in Minneapolis is a a horrible human being. I mean, he's a he's a fucking murderer.

So yeah, I mean, we just wanted to it's just weird to put out a our show and be able to just be like, oh, there's there's nothing we didn't want to be total like, no, because it's oh, guys, nothing going on here. Let's let's talk about farting. Like it's the farting is coming. It's coming. Don't worry. And also, I'd like to say too that one of the ways our marriage has been affected by

this is that I've noticed that you haven't even made any big take comments to me in the last few days. You haven't told me how big my sloppers are or that I need bigger tits. What's up with that? You know, I'm depressed. I have this really weird thing where like violence and like racial, you know, fighting in the it makes me not hard. That's weird.

It's not like you. Weird. I tend to not be horny when when there's riots chaos. Yeah, I know. But see, you have to understand that your constant belittling no pun intended of my huge tits. It's comfort for me. It's what gives me normalcy in the world. You shitting you farting and making a production you making fun of my taste.

It's what I rely on for stability and that's how I know you care. So I feel like you don't even care if you're not making fun of me when we come to a resolution that will come resume that will resume, I promise. Yeah, so look, it just and a second time, I grew up here in the 90s. We had the same, not even the same. This is way worse, way worse than the riots back in 92. I'm talking about what about it? I'm just saying it's horrible that I have to go.

Look, this is the second time. This is like another. Yeah, I can't believe it in my lifetime. It's again and again, like the same shit that's part of the frustration. Fucking hell. That's part of why people are very expressing myself. And I I'm not very articulate when I get very emotional like this. So I try not to talk too much. I wish you were like this more often.

All right, I got to go fix my makeup because I can cry. All right. Well, look, it's just important. I mean, I would feel like very odd by not just expressing that it's it's sad to just be a citizen in and witness all this, you know, anger and like frustration and like it's it's horrible to witness. It's horrible that we keep seeing the same kind of storyline play out. But I think if we could get past the the looting and the rioting and actually start having more meaningful, you know, conversation and change,

that I hope that that's the end goal here that that once the the chaos stops, that we can, you know, acknowledge it. And then if you're somebody because I know there's a lot of people it's really telling when you like see when you post something on social media like on Instagram and then like all the idiots come out. I kind of enjoyed it because I was able to erase people from at least my social media life. I'm like, oh, but if you're someone who, you know,

you can't wrap your head around it. You just I don't understand how you just can't. You just part of hospitality is if you if you're like this, that doesn't exist. I mean, you know what? Just good luck to you. I think that's my message to you. Good luck to you. All right, let's get on with the far.

Now, I can't please enjoy, honestly, probably one of the three funniest episodes of your mom's house ever. This was a laugh fest and I hope you enjoy it. My head hurt when I got home from laughing so hard. I was physically ill from laughing. Yeah, it was really good. It was really amazing. So I hope this helps you today on this dark time.

of your mom's house, the greatest podcast in history of all time. And we are very happy that you've joined us here and you're not going to get the stamp on your forehead if you finish this episode. Now, so much to get into literally a loaded episode. Literally, literally, literally. You said it like, well, it's got all that job. I said it like my sisters. Oh, my God.

You know, I was being a fucking bitch lately. You were having some intense conversations this weekend with your sisters. Yeah, they, they, um, not a drama. They dial it up. Yeah. I was, I felt fucking sick of this shit. Where did you, where were you raised?

I thought we grew up in the same house. I was so ridiculous. It's been such a fucking batch. Well, I will tell you that it's not just your sisters that talk that way. I don't talk like that. I don't talk like that. There's a lot of girls like that. Why do you talk like that?

I don't talk like that. I don't talk like that. But it's not just your sisters. It's like, it's like girls today because I was listening to recordings from the 90s. Yeah. And women did not talk like that until, until. Until, oh my God. He came in my mouth and I was like, uh,

but I'm not small enough. I was like, yuck. How about a warning? Literally. She's okay. Literally. Literally. I fucked the guy on the roof.

I don't give a fuck. That is what they sound like. They're only able to talk about when they talk that way. Right. Right. And they're like, yeah, I don't fuck. I'm not a man. He fucked me.

I can't. I'm a slut. Stop showing me that. I'm not a slut. I bought a bottle of salsa braspata. Those were my favorite hussies to meet, you know. Oh, that's the whole thing about. Senior week.

Remember senior week? Did you have a senior week? Yeah. We went, we went to some place in South Carolina and ever go. I was like, hot guys. I was like, come over here. You seem interesting. First of all, I was like, uh, wait, what senior week is when you go on a trip

with your class? It's like, yeah, it's like your crew. I mean, this is how we did it. It's like in senior, senior week in college, we went to some place in South Carolina. I think it was Myrtle Beach. And it's basically like the caravan. Or like Alabama and that Panhandle.

Yeah, yeah. I did a TV show once. Yeah, exactly. And they're like, we're going to graduate and enter the real world. And let's fuck a party. Let's party. We're dollar skull. I mean, you just, you just find, you know.

And that's when they do like what? Black T-shirt contest. Black T-shirt contest. Oh my God, this drink is so sweet. I can't believe I had like seven. You and your friends, what a fuck. I love hearing you talk like this is my favorite. Do you know what we did?

We rolled 45 blunts and we put it in the fridge, the refrigerator of the hotel, the shitty hotel we stayed at. And then we would smoke in the room. So the cleaning staff came. Like the shitty hotel's cleaning staff just opened the door and there was like cloud of smoke. And this is Myrtle Beach and the lady was like, like look at us. And we couldn't be like, it's not art.

We were just like, I don't know. And she was like, hmm, clean the room. So all your friends, they got scallywags. Yeah, I mean, it's all, it's all sluts like that. Yeah, yeah. You're just fucked up all week. Oh, and you're like, who wants to hook up? You don't have to say it.

You just like, come here. Come here. Slut. Come here. Wow. And then the girls were like, what's your name? See, I went to school in the middle of San Francisco. So we didn't have that culture doesn't didn't exist in the University of San Francisco.

I went to school in North Carolina. Yeah, it's different. It's a little different. Ours was more like, you want to get high on the bus on the minibus and go to Haight Street and get acid and see what's bad about fucking on the streets like. I remember, man, that was a really decadent week. What else did you do? No, I just remember just being like, hey, where's whatever, Shannon?

I don't know. I'd be like, well, if you see her, send her to my room. Oh my God. You guys are so gross. And then did you, so how many guys stay in one room? That's probably four or five. Four or five of you. And then would you hook up with the girls like,

did you take turns hooking up or you guys just fuck up the same room? No, it's just like, I mean, I don't know. Like you would go to the pool and then, you know, start like talking to someone. I'm going to take a shower and then some girls, I'm going to take a shower too. But I want to take a shower in my shower. Oh my God. And then were your boyfriends in the room too?

My boyfriends? Sleeping, you know what I mean? Or did they leave? No, people would leave. No, people would leave. Yeah. And then I remember like the one girl, yeah, I remember we were like, there's people sleeping in a bed and we got in the other bed and I was like, you know,

finger in some girl. And she was like, what's her name? What's her name? Yeah, she was dirty. All right. Literally, I'm like so excited. Literally, I fucked eight guys this week. And literally, I don't care.

OK, ready? Literally, I don't give a fuck. And they're very combative. By the way, yes, they are. I love that word on this show. This girl, I met this girl senior week. This is literally, this is from senior week. This is the day after senior week ended.

I'm like, you were choking on her ass. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Christina Pajitz. Welcome to your mom's house. When you. Favorite for Sam. By the Riper.

When you were on spring break with your boys, did you guys listen to Skinnerd and stuff? No. Which are a lot of like, all I picture is you douchebags like sitting in a pool area and you were like, what's your name? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, sitting in a pool area, like a cheap hotel pool. Yeah, that's right. And then it's like, and then y'all are like. There was a little bit, there was a little bit, because it's, it's a, it's a group of people.

So the music would shift and change, you know, and it depends like, you know what I mean, which clique you're hanging out with, because there's probably, I'm thinking this group is probably 30 people. So there was like the fucking rednecks, and then there's the, you know. Hillbillies, the rednecks, the white trash.

Yeah, different music plays with different people. But no, my, my, my clique wasn't like, let's put Skinner, like that wasn't over. No, no, we were Pink Floyd or something weird. Sometimes there's. You guys are fun. I like, I shouldn't call you guys douchebags. Well, yeah, you did.

It was pretty aggressive too. You're very sweet. You and your fucking douchebag friends. You know why? Because my culture was like, my college. No, we would have fucking mocked you guys. So different. So relentlessly.

Oh, we were all tea, so we were like, going to concerts and going to San Francisco. Hey guys. I can't imagine you. Just put it this way, I would rather, I would rather watch vomiting videos than go to spring break with you. Oh, I know, I know.

That time in my life. I would have looked over at your crew and be like, tell that one blonde bitch to get over here. Yeah. Hey bitch. I'd tell, I'd be like, I think I like that. We were saying that a lot. I like that, you know.

Are you serious? Because we thought it was funny. And we would also do that thing like from a distance. Like if, if someone was far away, I'd be like, hey bitch. And then she'd be like, what? I'd be like, hey, come over. Like, you know.

Oh, you would? Like, like. Can you revise it? Yeah, I would revise it. So as soon as someone was like, what's that? I'd be like, I said, hey, can you come over here? We would not, we would not be compatible in college. No way.

Or in high school. That was two different sides of the tracks, man. We were at the lightning crew. Yeah. Like you say, we call us the alt kids. Yeah, when I met you guys, I was like, what's up with the lightning crew? The nerds.

We're not nerds, we're golf. You know, golf. And we went in clubs and stuff. Did you go, did you go dancing and stuff in college? Oh, a little bit. A little bit of course. But usually like, like it was usually pretty awful. Shitty.

Like hillbilly stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you get an STD from Spring Break? No. No, no.

And I remember this one girl was like insisting on condoms. And I was like, okay. Nerd yet. Yeah. And I was like, you don't, you don't need them, you know? You don't need them. Well, I just looked at her. I was like, you don't, like I was like,

you don't look like you have anything. So, you know, I don't need it. But that is what guys think. Like if she looks clean. Of course. And is that, but that theory is pretty good, right? No. Like I didn't even show you any sense.

If the girl looks, I mean, look at Annie. He's a Petri dish. She should be infected. And he's not. I know. So, yeah, if the girl looks clean, she probably is. Yeah. There's girls where you're like,

there's a lot of stuff they taught us that just wasn't right. And sex ed pull out method totally works. I think I got like, there's a couple. Really, really scandalous, you know, types that I was like, eh, I'll probably look out here and not get something. And I really did. I really liked that.

00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:04,780 Who was the dirtiest, nastiest? God, that's a tough one. I fucked a couple of trash bags when I was like, yeah. And I can see that about you as sweet as you are. A 20 year old horned up Tom Segura. Yeah. Probably not.

Always booze involved when it's bad. Like none of the, like the, all the good ones, there was sobriety involved. Yeah. All the terrible ones where I was like, the next day I was like, the fuck was that? That was hammered. Just give me a paint a picture of one of the,

oh, this one's a real dog. Joey Diaz? No. Like I fucked a lady that looked like Joey Diaz with longer hair. Really? Yeah. And how did it come about?

They were the same age. How did it happen? How did she seduce you? I was super drunk. I was really, really drunk. There she is. Yeah. The beautiful lady.

I mean, when you see that face in the morning, you wake up and you're like, the hell? Yeah. But when you're loaded, you're like, this is great, right? I don't know. You think it's great. You're just like, you know how it is, you can get drunk enough to just want any type of affection.

Anything feels good because you're drunk. Yeah. I'm telling you, I'm not a, I don't, boozing doesn't, like I drank the other day. I know. I drank the other day with you at home in the pool. We had a babysitter come to the house

so we were being responsible parents. And I don't, I didn't drink that, like people are going to laugh, but I drink so little that I need so little to feel it. You know? I had three beers, just back to back to back. And I had a great buzz and I was like, oh, this feels great. But the after effect was that within an hour,

I was like, I need to lay down. Like I wanted to take a nap. And then I was just fucking hungry. So I'm just like stuffing my face with shit. Fantastic, yeah. Yeah, no, it feels good at the time, but then you're like, oh man, my stomach's all fucked up. It's a wreck, yeah.

And then I didn't sleep well that night. So then the next day, I don't feel good. And all of this you trace back to like, to what? To three beers. Right. And that's why I do it again. I do it the next day. I do it the next day.

It's like, what the fuck is wrong? And the only thing that doesn't like fuck with me alcohol wise is wine. Yeah. Boo, like I like bourbon. Yeah. But if I have. Bourbon would wreck me, dude.

If I have more than two, it is such a nightmare. Dude, I can't even. Just because of the, not like the buzz feels good. I'm saying the after effect, the same thing. I want a nap. I'm eating like shit. I'm not sleeping well. The next morning I have a headache.

Like all of that is for like a few drinks. Wait, is there a lot of sugar in bourbon? There's no, not in bourbon, but in other liquors there are. But I don't think so. Yeah, like beer is like liquid bread. I could see that knocking you out and fucking with you. But no sugar, no carbs in bourbon or scotch or whiskey. Really?

It's keto friendly. I should be drinking that. But what is the liquor that some of the liquors do have a lot of sugar? Rum, is it rum? Oh, forget it. That is the sugar. Like you were making fun of those girls. I thought they drank rum based drinks.

And they lack different colors. Right, because like I think vodka is keto friendly, right? Isn't that like a. I think it's made from potato, is that right? Alcohol. Oh, that's good. What is that? I should be drinking that.

But then who likes to, I don't want to drink vodka every night. I like to drink wine. Wine's good. Wine has a lot of sugar. I know. Well, not all wines, but you know. Well, what should I drink? Just rubbing alcohol.

It's like, you know, you're in a good shape. This one, you know, good. Or you can drink mouthwash. I know a lot of people with. Drinking problems like to drink mouthwash. Yeah, our nail polish remover is good too. That helps. Yep.

We were watching that Netflix movie, The Wrong Missy. Yeah. I loved it. I, L-O-L, is harder than I have in a long. I don't laugh at comedies, seldom. I was so. It takes a lot. Resistant to even like starting any comedy that's in the queue.

I'm like, I don't want to watch a comedy. I know. But I went with that one and I did laugh at a lot of shit. We laughed hard. I don't laugh hard at anything anymore. I know, I sent a message to Spade. I just, I told him how much I laughed. I just said how much I laughed.

I sent a message. He was very appreciative of it. To Lauren Lapkis. Yeah. And she answered me back with a cute little cat sticker. She was hilarious. She's fantastic. I don't want to give away any of the beats.

But like, yeah, I mean, Spade also by the way, you know, you forget like, we were watching him in Black Sheep and Tommy Boy in like the mid-90s. I know. And he basically looks the same. Looks the same. And he has that, he plays that part that he does so well. Yeah.

Like he's the perfect person to put against the bigger whack. You know, like Farley was with him obviously in those movies. And then she's basically, you know, playing that type of role. Like out of control. Yeah, he's the straight man. But he's not totally straight. He's so sarcastic straight. And he's so good.

He's so funny. I was speaking of, what was this? Oh, so Missy just put this girl's basically ruining his life. And do you remember that scene where she was drinking, drinking all day, and then she drinks the hand sanitizer because it has alcohol. I mean, there's so many. There's a lot of funny bits in it.

There really is. Oh, and she is. And I'll tell you too, to play that crazy character, Lapkiss, Lauren Lapkiss, you have to ground it in some reality. Otherwise, it's too stupid. And she manages to do it so well. It's the kind of movie where when you're watching it, you realize too that like her part,

you need like a supportive environment to play that. You know what I mean? You need like laugh. I bet you I would guess that that set was probably a lot of fun because they have to, you have to make that fun to be around. Yeah, yes, I agree. And I think from what I've heard about Sandler, and we know David from his show, he's great.

I don't think they're jerks. They're not. They don't seem to be. I don't think so either. You know, I bet they are super nice to him. I'm trying to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like good people.

Schneider was in it. Super funny. Bobby Lee's in it. Collina. They were at the hotel in Collina. Yeah, yeah. So good. Anyways, it got shit on by the critics.

And I'm like, I don't know. OK, what do you guys want? It's a rom-com. Yeah, silly fun movie. They don't like laughter. You fucking pieces of shit critics. They enjoy a good, silly comedy. And it was really dirty, which really, like really speaks to me.

Like all their dirty jokes. Yeah, I love that. I love it too. Anyway, if you guys are looking for something on Netflix, check it out. The Wrong Classy. The boss was really funny. The guy that played the main boss.

So good. He was great. He was so funny. Um, yeah. And was that Molly Sims that played? Yeah. That's Molly Sims? Yeah, she looks great too.

I follow her on The Grum. And let me tell you, she's one of these women. She's got three little kids. She looks exactly like she did 20 fucking years ago. Oh, she's gorgeous. Yeah. I'm serious. Like 20 years ago.

She looks the same. Well, I'll tell you, she's married too. Because I follow her. A millionaire guy, a businessman. And I know her workout routine because she's on The Grum. Strict diet, exercise plan. Three kids. She looks amazing.

Oh, yeah. She looks great. Yeah. That's the guy? No. Yeah. Stuber. Yeah.

Sorry. That's what she calls him. Stuber. Scott Stuber. Yeah. They seem to have a good thing. She seems really happy. Yeah.

She's like, oh, you know what? She brings organic lollipops on the plane when they fly to Hawaii. She goes, I don't normally let my kids have sugar, but I let them have organic lollipops on the flight. There you go. And I was like, I want to be this kind of bitch. You know what I'm saying?

Speaking of the feedback from Mystic Ripk being introduced to a wide audience has been pretty incredible. I've been getting so many DMs from wrestlers. Yes. And it is fun. I'm telling you, I don't want to give away because I'm sort of trying to work out who wants to get this work, you know, who I'm going to drop the turkey slicer on

and give the stamp on the forehead and serve them hot poutine. But it is a good time. I also want to say it was really fun to have those guys in here last week talking about wrestling. It really was. It really was a lot of fun. There's a weird thing I got to tell you. I think I think I like wrestling.

What? I'm not sure. Who are you? I think I like it because here's what I figured out. If you just say wrestling, I react like the way I react. But if you break down like I love bits, I love creating a bit in a storyline. I love confrontation. Yeah.

I love people talking shit. And I like, you know, athletic, like I like sports. I like when people do athletic shit. What is that? So I think when you break down all the elements, I actually like wrestling. What is happening? Didn't know it yet.

Oh, my God. Tom. I think I think I'm going to buy the pay-per-view. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Wait a minute. I dumped that guy that made me go to wrestling. Well, you just know that, right?

I don't know if I can do this. You just found another one. No, because I've been watching clips. Check this shit out. This is from Japan. Look at this shit. Oh, I kissed him. And he punched him first.

And then he kissed him. That was dope. Look at that. Oh, I kissed him back. This shit is fucking awesome. I've always wanted. Another kiss. Damn.

He's got a point. Oh, two points. Three points deducted. Oh, my God. Kisses. Oh, my God. Oh, like aggressive. Look at the fight kisses.

Yeah, I like it too now. Dude, that was fucking amazing. I always wanted to see in the NFL somebody score and then do a fake like blowjob with another teammate or like fake fuck him in the ass, you know, like as their celebration. And these guys are doing that. They leapfrogged it. Oh, my God.

They're back. Long kiss. They're pretty. Oh, look, he knocked them down. With his kisses? I gave him the kisses. Yeah, that was awesome. That is awesome.

He is pretty, right? Yeah, they are pretty. Yeah. Wow. Japanese and Korean men, right? Oh, Korean men are gorgeous. Yeah. That's why they're all in the boy bands

because they're so pretty. Sometimes you see it like Korean guys, you're like, look at that bitch. She's like, oh, shit. They're hot. That's a guy. They're so pretty. You're like, she's got pretty face and nice hair.

Oh, that's a dude. Yeah, Kate. They're so beautiful, these dudes. Yeah, the high cheekbones and shit. Yeah, perfect structure, soft skin, slender builds. I mean, sometimes I walk up to a Korean dude, I'll be like, you're a beautiful motherfucker, man. You know what I mean?

Yo, Kim Jong-un. Hi, happy man. Look at these dudes. I'm telling you, when I watched my Korean soap operas, I was like, these people are just gorgeous. Yep. They really are good looking. Very good looking.

They age well. God damn. Oh, look, us white bitches. We shrivel up. Good jeans. Yep. Really good jeans. Speaking of jeans.

They were kissing. Oh, my God. If you haven't just yet checked it out, make sure you go to merchmethod.com slash tomcigura and you see the all new stuff. It's, don't worry, you don't have to pull it up. But it has all the new stuff. I can't wait.

The jeans stuff, Thick Boy Nation, the tumbler, the hats, hoodies, tank tops, Mystic Rick merch. It's got everything. It's got what is, it has a, what's it called? It has. Poutine. It has poutine stuff for Norm. Oh, you gotta see that one.

It's got a. Sucking car wash. Five car wash. It's got. Whole white baby, bro. It's got a whole white baby. Where? The Fidgera Highway.

The Fidgera Highway, bro. So it's all there, all new stuff. We swapped out a bunch of stuff. It's great. The jeans stuff is super nice too. And all right. So we are going to be back in a moment. We're going to wrap up here.

We'll do our Satva giveaway results next week. So if you've submitted there, cross your fingers. You might be on the playlist. We'll be back here in a moment with a really exciting segment. And we are back with our resident favorites. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Josh Potter.

What are you doing? You're turning up your tick. What are you doing? Oh my god. Oh my god. What's wrong? Oh my god. It's, well, holy hell.

So how are you? Hey man, you upgraded big time. Yowzers. Yeah. I mean, holy shit. That was like two seconds. And it sucked my tit right up into it. Dude, let's see that.

It worked. Wait, wait. I've been so excited for this segment. Oh my god. It's sucking my fucking. Does it feel good? No. Why are you turning it off?

Why are you turning it off? Look how much shit is in there. It's sucking my entire body up into the tick up. I can't, I like it so much. I have to turn it off after like two seconds. Dude, so intense. You're going to have norm titties quickly. Oh my god.

This shit is crazy. Let's see it again. Let's see it again. God, I got to like work the intensity meter here to like lower it. Because no, no, no lowering. I ordered this for you. This came all the way from Germany from a fetishite. Let it slowly suck my tit.

Yeah. As opposed to the, I mean, that was intense. I mean, that was like four seconds. It sucked me. This cost $800. Oh my god. It's hurting so bad. I can't even, oh my god.

Oh my god. Look at the hair. We don't have a suction problem. And so right now it's off. It's breathing now. Breathing out. Oh man. Let's see what happens when I take my tit out of it.

Let's see. Oh, you're fine. You're fine. 00:34:52,540 --> 00:34:52,540 00:34:52,540 --> 00:34:53,580 Oh Jesus. Man, but imagine seven hours. Yeah.

I think what he does is he maxes out the pressure. Yeah. And then they're in there. And then leaves them in there. And then he has to be like, and he takes them off. And then that pig gets real stinky. It's like when you open a can of spam.

You know how that's got that. Yeah, yeah, I do know. I don't know why this amuses me so. It's like so absurd. Are you going to switch tits? Well, I was going to say this. I have a, I'm playing a bit injured here. Because I, I don't know if it's from the last incident

with the tit cups. But I pulled a muscle in my pec. Doing, I don't know if it's from doing push-ups or from coughing when I was high. But this side really hurts. And it's, after experiencing it, I'm a little nervous. That's what I was thinking. He said from coughing when he was high.

It could be. He pulled the tit muscle. I think I did. I was like, and it was like, ow. Yeah, let's see. Tell me if this feels better or not. This might feel better or it might really fucking hurt. Let's see.

Let's see. Oh my God. Oh, is that it? No, this really hurts really bad. Oh my God. You failed it. He failed the cup with his tits. It's a big cup.

Look at this. Oh, wow. It's all red. And it's full. Holy shit, dude. Is the camera ready? You're fully inside of it. Wow.

Whoa. Your tits are beautiful, man. Shit. Dude, try a bigger tit cup. Let's see if you could put more tit meat in there. Try like a D. That's like a tiny seed. I just take this tube off and replace.

And he's the tit cup expert. He's really figured out. He's worked at Dr. Bombay's lab. He just needs to switch. Right? Just switch the, yeah. That is really impressive. So do you see yourself getting into this lifestyle?

You go for a real big one. I want a biggie. Ooh. That's not the biggest, but close enough. This might suck my entire body into it. This is so great. You know why I think I like this so much? Why?

It's because women, because we suffer so much, breastfeeding and all these stupid breast pumps. Remember how many times I was pumping a day with both of our children? And to see a man suffer with breast stuff, it really makes me so happy. That he's suffering. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Holy shit, Tom, wait. Watch, you're not watching. Let's see, let's see, let's see. Fucking lace. I don't know if I have enough space on my chest for this. Oh, I do. It might suck like both my tits in at the same time. Let's see what happens.

This is so cool. Oh, boy. It's lit up. 00:37:25,740 --> 00:37:26,780 Yeah, I don't know if I have enough. There's not even enough meat for you. Yeah. Okay, immediately.

Let's see if I can shove more of my... Yeah, this one's tough to get a seal. I don't know if it's body space. Let's not waste time. Could you please switch to a smaller ticket? Oh, wait, I got a suction. Yeah, I feel like if you stick to it, just stick to it. How do you think Norm got...

Slow down the pressure. That's what I noticed. How do you think Norm got to where he was? He didn't... All right, it's slowly going. Oh my god, oh my god, it's really hurting. Oh my god, it's sucking his tits. Let it hurt, let it hurt.

Let it hurt. It really fucking hurts. Let it hurt. Let it hurt. Look how big your tits are getting now. I can't get it off. I can't get it off. I can't get it off.

I can't get it off. Oh my god. I can't get it off my body. That was terrifying. That was the most terrifying experience. I couldn't get it off my body. You know when you get your finger stuck in something and you're like, it's in there forever.

Yeah. That's what just felt like right there. So wait, what's the difference between the last to jump in this one? This one was slower in terms of my ticketing stuck into it, but once it was in there, I felt like I was in a bear trap. Yeah. Like it was forever.

Like I thought it was forever. How long do you think you can leave a tick up on for? Not long. You're watching it. I mean, I'm trying to keep it on as much as I possibly can. Can you have it? Hold on. Wait, now I'm going to ask you a question.

How much is it worth for you to keep it on? Is there a number we can make it worth it on? Let me ask you this though. Is there something where like when the pressure starts, can you stop the pressure stop it continuing to suck? I understand what you're saying. It's the fact that once the seal is sealed,

the pressure is constant. Is the pressure growing or is it just? No, it stays. That's what it's on. I'm trying to figure out the threshold, but once I get the tit in there, it's painful. Do you want to try it? Oh, no.

Just to see what he's feeling? Mm-mm. No. Does anybody in the booth want to try it too? I mean, it is fucking gnarly. Yeah. Okay. You know what?

I bet you're a crybaby pussy and I bet. Let me take something. You should try it. I want to try it. I mean, it is fucking gnarly. It's not like I'm not trying to be a crybaby. Are you going to try it right now? Give me one of those big ones and I'll do it.

My tits are too big. You can get the Grandmaster here. The Grandmaster. Is this bigger than this one? Which one's bigger? I think I actually use the biggest one. You're going to try it? No.

Do it over your shirt. If I did it, it would be... Could you imagine? Yeah, I can. Yeah, it hits I think why he wants you to do it. He's imagining. I don't want to try it in front of everybody. I want to try it at home with you.

It was a joke. I don't know if I could do it on camera with everybody. Oh, I mean, okay. Not everyone's as cool as me, I guess. Yeah. Will you try it? No. Try it on a different part of your body.

Like, try it. What are these ones for? Those are nipple ones. This one would suck. I can try that one. Yeah. Try to just feed that nip in there, okay? Yeah.

This one's going to fucking suck. These are... Are these glass or just really good plastic? Really good plastic. Yeah. This one doesn't have a machine part. Like, see how these have, like, intensity near? Do any of the other little ones do?

Any of the little ones? I think this is the littlest one with it here. That's it? We got this guy with one. Well, I don't think it needs it. That's because it's so tiny. What does the little one do? The intense...

This one is, like, less intensity, probably. Let's see. It's probably just popping on, and it can probably just suck my nip right up. That is to give you those vagina nips. Those puffiness. Oh, my God, that's the last thing I want. Let's see that. Let's see what that looks like.

Oh, boy. Fucking my nips here. I can watch this all day. I really love this. I'm a... I'll tell you right now. I'm going to put... I'm going to just preface this by saying,

I'm very adverse to nipple play. Like, I hate when a girl... When a girl starts fucking tweaking nips and shit, I'm like, get the fuck away from her. Really? I do not like it. And, like, remember titty twisters and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If a kid did that to me, I would be like, how about you fucking grow up? Yeah. You know? I hate them. And this is... I don't want titty twisters, but... I hate nip stuff.

One of my favorite things was what I told you about a friend of mine. Yes, I was just going to suggest talking about this. A friend of mine told me that his ex-girlfriend played with his nipples every time they did it for years. Years. Let's play with nipples. Like, every time... No, I mean, like, what physically does that constitute?

Licked, sucked on. That's fine. Twisted, pulled. But he said, every time. And I go, so... I mean, did you love it? He goes, no, I didn't like it at all. But he just...

He just let her do it over here. And then he married her? No, he didn't know that they broke up. But... Well, that's a little much. All right, let's see this. Let's see if... This is exciting.

This is so funny. I'm really scared about how this one's going to fuck it. Okay. I saw it. It really latched on. It's like a baby gator. Just fucking... Oh, I saw that blow up.

Oh, fuck that hurt. Oh, you gotta do that again. So fucking bad. I gotta do the other side. Did you see it? Did you see it fill up immediately? Imagine pinching your nipple and pulling it. I know.

It's called breastfeeding. I wonder... Oh, my God. That's a night... That's breastfeeding. This is exactly probably what it feels like. I would fucking get formula in a minute. It's terrible.

Let's see. It's terrible. Here we go. It's the worst. Are you ready? Yeah. Can you... Got a good view, Christina? All right.

Line up. Here we go. Fuck. This is the one, dude. This is the one. This is awesome. This is what I like. Just leave it on.

Oh, wait. You have a nice little ring around it now. That's nice. It feels... Does that feel good? Now it's gonna poke through my shirt. Does that feel good at all? No.

Not at all. It feels terrible. If it was a mouth, it might feel fine, but Jesus. Try it on your arm or something. Like, see if it's... How does it compare to other parts? Like, or your belly or something? Oh, right, right.

Like, try your stomach. Yeah. Like, see how that feels compared to... Because all those nerve endings in your nips. It really fucking hurts. I mean, it is like a fucking... Will you put one of your balls in there? I don't know.

No? How about your penis? I can't get this one off. Will you put your dick in there? I can't get this one off. That hurt. So, no, I will not put my dick in here. No.

After feeling the painfulness of this... Will you put your cheek in there? Yeah, put your... Put it on your face. Oh my God, this is gonna suck, dude. Please, please. This is gonna suck so much. I have to push the button, too.

That's the hardest part is just, like, pushing the nuclear button. You're just like... Good thing I didn't put my dick in there. I'm gonna put my dick in there. I'm gonna put my dick in there. I'm gonna put my dick in there. I'm gonna put my dick in there. I'm gonna put my dick in there.

Just, like, good thing I didn't put my dick in there. Then let's see. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This one doesn't hurt so bad. Oh, that's good. I could probably rock this one for a while. Leave it there. That's good.

This one feels kind of cool. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. What's it doing to my face? It looks... Here, let me take a quick picture. I can't breathe. This...

All right, it's starting to hurt, so... Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I can't even smile. That's stupid. What if I just was, like, on CNN right now? I'm like... Yeah, you know, coronavirus, uh... It's real serious out there.

The bodies are lining up. I take up mass graves. Hydrochloroquine pill every day. You know, we gotta get the economy restarted. That's fantastic. Feels fine. This one's fine, dude. I can do this one all day.

I can't take it. I'm gonna fucking throw up. Okay, what's it gonna do to my face, I wonder? I think it's gonna look different. Oh, my God. Let me see, let me see. What did it do? Oh, it made me laugh.

It's just a little red. Good. Can you please put on the original, take a cup and do it again? Yeah. Just one more time. To me, I think that my favorite is that on your nipple. That hurt more than...

My face feels strange. Your face feels less strange. No, why? It feels so weird. It shouldn't... Ah. Does it still look like... It looks good.

Because it feels like someone's gonna be like, like, thank God I have to wear a mask everywhere I go. So I think these machines, from what I gather when I was looking online, like, I think these could be for women to make their breasts larger or for trans women. Oh, good. So that...

Thank God we've developed technologies for that. How are we doing with cancer? We're doing all right with cancer? How's that going? Thank God we've put the medical minds to use in order to get this going. Yeah, that interactions. Everybody gets to have a bone or a pill.

I mean, this is a real engineering feat right here. I mean, good golly. It's like fucking the... What's the shit that you go... Clear. And then this, or like the modern medical... Now, may I suggest something for you, Potter? You do cameos with your sex work.

Well, this... So many people want the tit cups on cameo. Right. And would you be willing to keep them on for a longer period of time if you knew that there was, let's say, a financial gain to that? Like a kickstarter?

Would you use these tit cups if you up the price and people pay it? $200 a cameo. I mean, I get... Yeah, for that I would. I mean, people... I would, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it pays for itself.

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, it would take about... From what I understand, the price of this, if I made the cameos $200, it would take about 12 cameos to pay for this. It's true. From what I understand. Did I put this back on right?

I think you did. Let's see. And then let's talk about what's coming out tomorrow. A cockroach. Now, what hurts more, that tit cup or having your apartment cleaned? Oh, my God! Why turn it off?

Leave it on! It just really hurts. I don't know if you understand. Let it sit. I have to turn the intensity. Yeah, it's just like breastfeeding. That's how breast pump works. No, I don't think your breastfeeding...

I don't think your child gets progressively... Your child has to exhale once in a while. I would suck my nips like that. That's the same. Your child has to exhale once in a while. It's the same. It's the same. It's the same.

No, breast pumps are very mean. All right, hold on, hold on, hold on. Just leave it on while we're talking. Leave it on while we're talking to you. I have to make it... I'll tell you what. I'll oscillate the pressure. Can you push through that pain?

Not when it's on. Like, you don't understand. It's constantly ramping up. I have to keep doing that. I have to oscillate it. Because I don't think you understand. It is literally sucking constantly. So it's like not stopping,

despite how much tit is in the cup. Your face is red right here. Well, yeah, I put the tick up on my face. You guys remember that part? Dude, look, it's full. See, now I'm oscillating it, so I can keep it like up and in there. Look how full that tick up is.

It's all your tit meat, dude. Yeah. Let's address this before we have to break here. So tomorrow, on the main channel, is it coming out? Yeah. Yeah. On the main channel, we have a YMH original having Josh's apartment cleaned.

Yes, sir. Thank you for allowing that to happen. Oh, thank you for doing it. I feel like a new person, honestly. I feel much better. Even though I'm here sitting here with tit cups, I'm trying to have a heartfelt sentiment in thanking you, in providing me with the ability to clean it.

So yeah, it's like a whole new world. I really let myself go, I noticed. The reason we did this is that I heard your episode of Dr. Drew after dark and you were saying how you felt very stuck because your room had just gone into... You know, it all happens. I think we all go through phases where we're just like depressed and we don't want to clean.

And so Tom and I thought, what a wonderful way to... Yeah, to address that is to send our lady over to your place. Yeah, and just film it. Yeah, no, it was... I was on the road so much before quarantine and I kind of got sloppy with things. Then once quarantine hit, I was like super depressed and I just let it go way beyond what I ever expected.

And so... Hold on, let me get my tit in there. Oh, fuck. Okay, so yeah, I mean, it was to the point where I was like, I don't know how I'm going to fix this or whatever. And then not having comedy made me see it. Do you know what I mean? Yes.

I was like, oh, comedy's gone. So now I'm like, what's my life without comedy? Oh, this fucking pig. Bro, by the way, I was the same, same, same as you. And when I... I remember when I was just like doing the road, like you're doing it and I would see my place being a disaster and I'd be like, well, I'm just going to get on a plane this week.

Yeah. And I would just leave. And then you go to a hotel and you're like, this is nice. Yeah. And then you come back and you're like, this sucks. But it makes you want to leave again. Yeah, you're like, I'm going to get on a plane Wednesday. Yeah, it makes you want to leave and go on the road again.

I totally understand. So, yeah, I mean, I guess that's the nice thing about quarantine is that I realize this about myself and then I can like, you know, adjust it and fix it and stuff like that. So thank you for giving me that opportunity. Does this... Absolutely. And by the way, I think the piece is really funny.

It's really funny. Yeah, I know it was a good time and yeah, I mean... I can't wait to see the finish. I'm trying to be sincere and I can't because I have a tick up on. Can you tell me this? Do you have any new perspective on what Norm puts his body through now that you're doing this? Like, what would you say?

Dude, I've thought about the dick cage. Where you can't get hard? Yes, that's the next step. Well, I mean, what are you going to... You have to test the constrictions of it, if you know what I'm saying. What do you think of his tick cups, though, now that you've experienced this? I mean, now I'm starting to get used to it. Do you know what I'm saying?

He looks like he pulls the big ones off. Well, what I have to do, I really crank this up to the max. So when I pop this on, it's going to go for 30 minutes of sucking me in. But I figured out a way. Look at it. It's like getting steamy. It's steamy. It's hot.

So I figured out a way right now to just kind of have it at a tolerable level, but also effective. So as I've learned the apparatus a bit better, I feel like now I can utilize them in a more optimum way. Right. Well, you're going to build a tolerance. So right now... I am slowly building my tolerance.

I feel like this is awesome in so many ways, but mostly it's a salute to you, Norm. This is all for you. I just tried to salute with my left hand and I couldn't get my hand up. But we actually try to understand what you have put your body through. I would say Josh is the one who really... Well, much like you with wrestling, as you're learning and understanding what they do with their bodies,

I'm doing the same with Norm's BDSM. Now, hold on. About this dick cage, do you think... How do we start this with you? Because I'd be very interested in that. I think it's a touchy vert, because the whole point of the dick cage is so you can't get a boner. Or like if you get a boner, it hurts a lot.

What's that feel like? I don't know. That's what we need to find out. Well, again, and so the curious part to you is, how are you going to test it? Well, we give it to you, and then you tell us about it. Okay, well, yeah, there's that. Well, I've been on the show.

Oh, right, right. Like, we can't... Could we have you sit here? How will I get aroused? I got you. I got you. We sit here on the couch, the dick cage is on, and we play on a loop like the hottest new lesbian porn.

It would have to be a woman being here doing things. I don't think I would get aroused by porn. No problem. So, same setup, and then we have a woman come here and do things. Okay, I would do that. Like if we keep the cage in my pants or whatever, we don't even have to do it.

We could take the cage out. Maybe some loose fitting sweatpants. Yeah. And you can't... Well, you won't see a boner through a... The cage is going to prevent the boner, no matter what. That's the point of the cage. Well, I was thinking, Jeans,

maybe he takes the cage home with him, and then he watches pornography alone, and then we just see his face, like record his face. I don't think I'll get an erection from that. Like, regardless of the cage or not. Okay. Now, we got to do what he said. It has to be a woman.

I have the woman in mind. Okay. I'll tell you all about it. Who do you have in mind? Yeah. Oh, it's just... You'll like it. Oh, you have to tell me right now.

Well, isn't the surprise better? No, I want to know. I'm excited. I mean... Let me get my tit ready. Okay, there you go. I think somebody from the adult industry... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Do you have... Have you talked to her? No, but I feel like with some of the people I know that I can definitely... Okay. There's one that in particular slid in my DMs. Slid into your DMs?

Yeah. Oh. I thought you were talking about her. Okay. Well, we'll talk here in a moment. All right. Look, man. Hey, I really appreciate you doing this.

I really appreciate you... Slid in my DMs, too. Get these tick cups. Yeah. Thanks for doing the apartment segment. No, thanks for... Thank you for doing it, honestly. Like, through this quarantine,

I'd probably be dead if I lived at home still, and so I'm here, and you guys have made my life better, so thank you. Thanks, Josh. Thank you so much, Josh. We'll be right back. That's really on there now.

And we're back with one of our all-time favorite friends, comedians, podcasters, our good buddy, Ryan Sickler is here. Big news. We have to tell you a bunch so that you know the Honeydew, which has been here for over a year.

Yeah, a little over a year. It's moving to its own channel. It's going to be youtube.com. Slash R. Sickler. The letter R, S-I-C-K-L-E-R. Honeydew will be there starting in a week, I think, right? Next week.

Yeah. This is exciting, man. I'm excited. Excited. We're going to miss you, for sure. Well, I'm going to miss you guys, too. This has been a weird fucking time, and now we have homeschooling,

and both parents have to work, and you know, I appreciate everything. No, of course. And I appreciate also, Nadav is leaving me up under the featured channels on YMH, so I'm still on your YMH channel, and all this stuff.

Always be part of the family. Always doing each other's podcast, still. Oh, yeah. And all that stuff. Yeah. Still coming up. And Night Pants Nation is growing, so I appreciate it.

You guys capitalized on, you're so to your masks. You all went with the safety. I went with the comfort. I love it. Yeah, that's right. Like, we got both. We approached that rona from two sides.

I want to see people with your masks in my pants. I'm like, that's how you fucking do lockdown. That's how you do it, man. That's how you do lockdown. Yeah, I was going to say, maybe Friday, we can do the do, right? Yeah, I want you to be the first guest to kick off the new studio and everything.

And I'm excited to show it to you, because I want you to know that. I want to see it, yeah. And any here in the D.A.V.A. have been a big help transitioning over there, too. So, and of course, I want you to, Mommy Tina. I can't wait. I just did the honey do.

We had such a good time. I don't know where you keep coming up with shit, but man, you got to fucked up past. Every time, we're going to have to dig deep. And Christina is like, I just have a little spoon here. Don't worry. I got plenty. Well, let me tell you that.

I've known her 15 plus years. And sometimes she'll tell me a story. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Your parents did that? No, no. That's why I've been in therapy for a decade. It's not like that should end for me. But I was going to say that I left there feeling so good.

It was such a rare experience with you, because we've known each other for so long. I'm saying, I had the same experience like this. It was really great. Plus, it was just good to have human interaction with you again. Yeah, this has been a little. Well, and also, just to your credit,

you're such a great interviewer. And I think where you took it with me was so special that day. I'd never talked about that stuff. Susan? Yeah, with anybody. You got to hear it. I love it. It's a great episode.

It's a Susan saga. And it was fantastic. It was. I really, really was fine. And you actually, I got to say, every time I do your podcast, I'll be thinking, and this happens the last three times I did it here. I'll be thinking like, what am I going to talk about today?

What am I going to talk about like story-wise? And I'll kind of like feel like a blank. And then as we're podcasting, five stories of me that I've never told before. And I'll start telling you things that I've never, I've never told. I'll be like, how have I never told the story? He's got the gift to bring it out.

They're like, they're firsts all on your podcast. That's great, man. Yeah, well, first of all, we have an exceptional rapport as well, which is everything in the world. But the shit we talked about, about being forced to shower in middle school and everything, like, I've had friends hear that,

and they all have reached out and go, you know, if you did that to kids today, you'd be shut down. Yeah. If the shit they made us do in middle school, with a son today, would be shut down. They don't make kids shower anymore. You mean force children to shower with each other

in front of everybody? I don't know. Well, think about this. If you think about 30 years before we were in school, that generation, like my friend, well, they would do like football practice, and they'd be like, no water breaks, waters for fucking chicks.

So you would just be out there, like my dad's high school teams, they'd be like, in Louisville, Kentucky in August, and they'd be like, you can get water after this practice is over, you know? That would be, if you try to do that now, it's 100 degrees outside. You're not coaching.

Yeah, you're done. You're totally, yeah. I'm gonna have some right now. That is so true. So I didn't, because at the time, it felt barbaric too in junior high school, and they were like, okay, so you're gonna shower with all these people

that you don't know. And I remember being like, but I didn't really sweat. I don't really want to. I don't want to do this. This is terrible. Like, I get why the education I'm getting in the classroom is gonna serve me in life. I don't understand why after gym.

I gotta shower with a bunch of these seven fucking graders who are all developing at different times and rates and everything, and then go out into the world with that. Because what is that getting me ready for? Like, were they thinking they were gonna get us ready for everybody who's gonna be working out at gyms together all the time and shit?

Like, what was that embracing? No, I know. Yeah, it was the puberty thing. That was the worst. It was like humiliating you at the worst time. And there was like slack ass PE days where you didn't do shit, you know? Or you kind of took, like, we don't need to shower.

Yeah. You know, you didn't do anything. It's terrible. Kind of phoned it into that. We had kids that were just, and that's what I said. The guys standing at the doorway with your towel. That's where you're getting your towel from this guy. It's not in a basket where everybody can grab.

This guy's handing them to you. And we had kids that would just run in and just get their back wet, you know what I mean? Because they had to just get some water, and they hauled and then hunched over trying to cover their dicks and everything. So run back to their little locker and put their tidy whiteies on.

See his pubes? We talked about that. When you see pubes on something, you're quite the far more of those things. And periods, and Matt, that's the same age that you're getting your period, and now there's like filthy maxi pads everywhere. And chicks are fucking nasty, dude.

It was not, it was not cute. That's a hell of a time. It was a terrible time. You know what else is cool as fuck? Put a pain in it. This chick. Baby, I can't come here because I'm gorgeous. I can't.

That's just how I was born. That's just how I was made up. Gorgeous as ever. If it is gaps between my teeth, say that I'm a beautiful person. It's a lot of people that want to, uh-uh, no stripper riders. No stripper riders.

No strippers. No. Baby, what's happening is you're eating this ass from the back, please, rat. Satutories. Satutimus. Satutimus, stop playing. You were just so here on the lockdown,

eating this ass. You was on the crack of this ass last night, so now you're acting like him, remember? So now you're mad because I put your ass out on my quarantine. So now you're fat, fat, your toe spritz. Remember you was licking on this ass last night? You remember?

You were uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Remember? You remember? So now you're on my page, you're assing me. Everybody that you love licking on the crack of this ass. You don't want to be out here fighting? But she looks like her butt. I know you love me.

I know you want me. You was licking, getting up on this ass, pitting your ball for your licking like glass. I know you want it. I know you want me. What's in there? Yeah. That's all her, man.

That's something. She put something in her. That might be something Sagittarius left behind back there. She had Satorius and then Sagittarius. But she looks clean. I wouldn't like, her butt would be okay anyway. Like, I don't feel like she looks dirty.

Let me tell you something right now. I would fight an animal in a fucking dark hall alley with a knife before I'd ever fuck that. Really? Ever. I'd fight any inmate fresh out of jail. I'll tell you what. I'd fight a convict in an alleyway that they said,

listen, you're in here for life, but if you can kill that guy, you're out scot-free. You know the fucking aggression's gonna come at me? I'd fight that guy before I'd ever lick that ass. Why wouldn't you lick her ass? Yeah, what the fuck? Listen, we all know my adventures with Hillary Clinton. So that's my gold standard right there, all right?

That's my gold standard. This right here, it's, you know what? It's funny, I struggle with the gaps in her teeth, but I'm not struggle. But the bowl cup bothers me more on the bowl. It's the bangs that bother me more than the teeth. It's a lack of awareness that that's not a good look for anybody. Nobody looks good in the bowl.

Like that's a conscious choice. The teeth are maybe a financial thing. Do you know what I mean? That is manicured up there. You put money into your hair, but not your mouth, and that bothers me. Do you think that Sagittarius ate her ass last night? You know what I do?

Licked her crack? As crazy as that woman is, whoever that guy was, or maybe it was a woman. I don't know who Sagittarius is. You know what it's the ass last night? I'm so aggressive. Last night, uh, uh, uh, uh. Her sounds, that's a aggressive ass eating sound.

That is like- No one eats- Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Why are you eating it like that? Eating it like that. That's probably because she's pounded it back in his face, and he's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. He's probably got two pink eyes and all kinds of shit.

There's also something to me that makes me go, uh, when- You guys really are against her, and I don't- No, when somebody says, eat ass, I go like, okay, when somebody mentions their crack, I'm like, uh. It's sweaty, it sounds sweaty. You know, you think the crack sounds nasty. Yeah, the crack sounds nasty. You look at my ass, crack.

They're like, okay. Well, that's true, because when you're eating someone's ass, you're in their beehive, you're not up. Well, you wouldn't know that. Yeah, well, you don't act like you know. You don't know shit about that. Like in college, or- Did you see in your week?

Like spring break. High school, high school, yeah, graduation, high school. Did you go to Myrtle Beach or to Panama City, Florida? No, we went to Ocean City, Maryland. Yeah, same idea though. That was just the coast, yeah, just the beach in our town. I've been to Myrtle Beach, but not for- Now, when you're senior week, did you just

toss it in a few scallies walking around? Like, was it like- I had a girlfriend at the time, so I tossed it in her. Oh, okay. Was she there with you? Yeah, we were all down there, so that was, you know, I brought sand to the beach. Well, what about the nastiest chick you've ever been with

compared to her? Who's the nastiest chick you've ever been with? I think I might have talked about that on here. Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, what other show would I have talked about this on? The nastiest chick I've ever been with. The nastiest. I think-

I'm trying to remember if you and I talked about this. Was that her? No, but I'd have sex with her before I ate that other girl's ass. Really? God. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

I love this chick. See, she's- That's girl's amazing. She's just, you know, having a good time. The other lady's just angry. Yeah. I don't know. I feel that the other lady's having a good time, too.

You're seeing it through a different lens. I'm probably seeing it through the guy that would eat the ass, and you're seeing it through the SED. I'm never- Yeah, yeah, that's true. Wait, wait, so wait. Who was the nastiest? Oh, nastiest girl I've ever been with was a beautiful girl,

started normal, you know, six months in. She- Well, it started with- She was on top of me in bed, and she goes to put a finger in my ass. Okay? But I mean, there's no hint. She's facing the other way. She's a reverse cow girl, so I don't see it coming.

Oh. She reaches under. I don't see it coming, and she doesn't spit on it, nothing. Just a bam! And I was like, what the fuck? Like, it hurt. I was like, get off, and then we had this conversation where she was in the ass, but I'm like, that's fine, but-

Like, ease me into it a little bit. Yeah, give me a heads up, spit on the fucking thing. Like, you have nails. You know what I mean? You have nails, so- You know what I mean? You have nails. Well, and don't you feel that that anal plate requires consent?

You really can't just spring that on a person. That requires a little consent. I had to know where it's a lot. That was, yeah, it's aggressive. Even for me, and I'm, you know- Yeah, you're down. I'm down. You're DTF.

But down the finger. But then she tells me she wants to give me a blowjob while I'm taking a shit. No. Is that real? No. This is when I broke up with her. This day, after this conversation, our relationship ended. What? Yeah.

I've talked about this on my podcast. Wait, how does she bring it up? She brought it up. You about to take a shit? She was like, hey, you know, the next time you take a shit, she asked. She didn't bring it up. She said, how would you feel? I'd like to.

And I was like- No, no, what did she say specifically? How would you feel if the next time you took a shit- How would you feel if I sucked your dick while you took a shit? And she said took a shit. She didn't say like- Went to the bathroom. Went number two.

Something like that, like on the toilet. Like you went to the toilet, she said, I think. And I was like, do you mean take a shit? And she's like, yeah. And I was like, let's go do that real quick. And then this relationship's over. She was attractive. She was so pretty.

Really? So pretty. And how long were you dating her? Six months before this popped off. Oh, so you thought that like it was a different person? This was a different request. Yeah, like, and I was like, first of all, here, let me tell you what you're not considering.

You're not considering smell. You're not considering splashback. You're not considering- And there's urine in that splashback. You're not considering any of these things. And also like, are you supposed to come in with me like for the beginning of the shit? Yeah, am I just supposed to be like-

Hey, I just shit. Are you sucking at the whole time? I just took a shit. Come in. Hang on, hang on, hang on. I got one curious back here. I'm about to wipe. Can I tell you what?

Because I'm picturing. And those horrendous dumps that I hear, and they're like, mommy, come here. Like, yeah, your kid calls you in to wipe them. So I can imagine that- See manners. Oh my god. Wait, so go ahead.

So I can imagine that- Let's go talk about that. Come shooting out of your dick a million miles an hour this way while shit flies out of your ass this way. Scientifically, I'll bet you that feeling of release from two ends is probably amazing. I'll bet you it's amazing. Is it even possible?

I'm not sure. Let's ask Dr. Drew because- It's Dr. Drew because I broke up with her. Wait, did you break up with her during that conversation? Right after that was over. I was like, yeah, listen, this ain't gonna work out. The conversation. Right after the conversation.

Did you do it or did you do it with her? No, I never did it. I would be able to tell you how it felt if I did it or if it worked or not. And I would tell you if I did it. Here's the question too is like, it's during the brown. So she's sucking you and you're making brown and then you have to wait to ejaculate

before you wipe up the brown. There's the smell of the brown. Like it's- There's a lot of cleanup. Wait, I'm getting kind of a clarity here though, okay? I'm not sure what's not clear. I just want to understand this. She goes, how would you-

Are you like laying around the apartment or something? And she's like- No, she was reverse cowgirl. No, no, no. She tried to shove a finger up my ass. That's when she brings up the- I pop her off and I'm like, whoa, that was aggressive. And then we start a conversation about-

Oh, and then she brings it up. ...ass play and she brings it up right there. Right, within five minutes of- I didn't realize that. Yeah, within five. And then in that moment, you're like, I don't think this is going to work out. I was like grabbing the sheets, like pulling them up on me

like, I think this relationship's over here. It's miss piggy to you, bitch. They're wet. Oh my God. Oh, so wet. They're so wet. Jesus. This is great to you, bitch.

It's miss piggy to you, bitch. She's got an R.I.P. on her fucking titty right there. Somebody's R.I.P., my fucking- my good name. No! No, is that puke? Wait, she's throwing it up now? I don't know.

Oh, God. Oh! Why do you have to do that? Oh, God. You know, I don't like it. Oh! Right off of a shitty blow job to that. I've never seen this.

I've never played this clip. I didn't know. I didn't know. Why is she vomiting? Full. Maybe she's in the mirror. Harder than a super full. God.

I don't like it. Jesus Christ. I hate it. I'd rather listen to her belch all day long. I've been vomiting. Oh my God. I don't know how I'm fucking crying. Don't cry.

I don't like it. I'm just- Huh. I feel it in my eyes, boy. Yeah, I don't like it. Me too. Oh, God. I don't like it.

I don't like it. Oh, shit. That was fucking cool. Sick. He's so happy about it. He's so happy about it. Look at all the veins coming out. Oh, God.

It's just bloody big. That's stomach hurts so much. You're so happy about it. So does hers. She's so nasty. You know what else? He's super fucking nasty. Talking about smells.

Look at this. Oh, wow. That is not real. No. Ew, fucking no. That can't- No, God. Oh, my brain hurts.

No, it's not my fault. Oh, God. I'm just seeing it all in flash frames and I don't know what one to block out right now. Because they're all coming. Oh, my brain hurts. Oh, man. Somebody out there thought.

And look, she bugged her shit out. I mean, I love eggs. Love eggs. And here's the grossest part. Is that Dr. Drew and I discussed poutine and he says there's nothing wrong with eating your brown. Like, you can't- Come on.

It's fine. You won't get like, you might mentally get sick from the thought of it, but you're not going to get sick. Where did he go by? Where'd any go during that? I saw him disappear. He had to do the thing where he doesn't look at the screen

when he switches. Really? I mean, pretty much everyone in this room except me. Except for the dog. I'm used to this stuff. Yep. This stuff doesn't bother anyone. What is egg yolk up somebody's head?

Oh, I've never heard of all that. What bothered him so much? Who? Any or Potter? Any? What was the problem? I fucking hate you, man. You come up with the worst shit.

Wait a minute, but she had a nice ass. I start watching after the first frame. Really? I don't feel good inside. We went and talked about it on a great time. We had such fun. Look, he looks like we felt when we left my pocket. I've never felt better.

I've never felt better. I believe it. I'm sick. I got that high stomach right up here. It's at the top of my stomach. I have never been happier than this moment. I don't feel happy. I don't feel.

I feel abused. Yeah, I feel like someone just held me down and did something to me. He does it to me all the time. He did it to me with that goddamn, the guy that fucking sat on the glass and then recorded me watching it. Yeah, I did.

And pulling shards out of it. It's gushing and he's not screaming or anything at times. Like, look at the scars. I'm like, ah! That is the gross test. Is it this one or is this the kitten video? That's the, I think that's the one. All it says is one man, one jar.

I mean, that's it. I'm not even going to look. The title is correct. I like this one, actually. But the volume's on. But I don't hear the volume. No, his is when he records. You can hear the glass hit the ground.

He's not screaming. He's not, if that was me, I'd be like, you know. Oh, of course. And it's so much blood. It's gushing blood. Look at it. Are you watching?

No, I'm not going to watch it. I saw it once. I tell people about it because I'm traumatized by it. I hear what's happening over there. Yeah. He's got it all the way up. Slow, the fucker's got it so loud. It's got it so loud in my headphones.

I can hear everything. There's all the glass. It's traumatizing me all over again. It's easier to watch without sound without sound. Oh, Lord of mercy. It's just a psycho. Do you want to see the egg one again? No.

Wait, why did the egg one bother you? I don't like that because it's not puke. I don't like eggs. I don't like... What do you mean you don't like eggs? I don't like eating eggs. I don't like eggs. And then I don't like gaping buttholes.

I hate it when they're open like that. Nobody's buttholes should look gaping like that. Then that's what bothered you? I don't like eggs. Eggs and someone's gaping butthole. But then they made scrambled eggs. I don't, and she's so happy about it. Ugh.

That's the exact opposite way eggs come out of an ass, by the way. It's the exact opposite of something supposed to happen to an egg. I feel so sick. Talk about something sick, come on. I do, really. In a good way. Oh, God. You're sick from laughing.

I don't feel good. I don't feel good. I don't feel good. The puking first like teed it up. Thank you. Enough. Got it. I can't.

Can we talk about Blunkins again? That was more fun. Yeah, we can. I mean, I didn't get it. Do you think you would be able to maintain an erection while taking a shit? Like, that's really... I've been traumatized but not like that. Like, we talked about guys that get stomped in their dicks.

Yeah. Like, I would never be able to come from something like that. Like, if you were like, I'll give you $5 million right now. If these Asian chicks wear high heels and stomp your dick and you come, I'd be like, I can't do that. You can't physically. No. How could you?

Unless you were traumatized. This motherfucker probably could. He could probably have a Marine Corps stomp his ball but not all over his chest. My teeth hurt right now. I think from clenching them so hard. My teeth hurt. Oh, I'm glad because that is fucked up shit. Tom is very virile.

I mean, for a 51-year-old man, he can take it to Pantam. I'm telling you, he surprises me. That's great. He is... Right? Look at all the pent-up shit he's got inside him. Look at that. God.

Have you followed us talking about Fedsmoker at all? Yeah. You have? Yeah, I was feathering it before because I had my hair with so long. OK. So you know who it is. Once again, if you're not a sturdy-ass bitch with a dirty twat, you have a good opportunity of coming here to live and clean this house.

Leave all your increase in information on this site. If you're not scurvy and your twat smells like roses, give me a holler. He's wild. He's wild. I mean, he's really something. We have a... It's face-to-face. Ryan's not happy about this one.

I mean, look. I'm not upset by this. No, it's... But we have another... We have one we haven't seen. There's so much Fedsmoker content we never got to before he passed. I was going to say RIP. Yeah, RIP, Connell Eugene Peterson.

But, yeah, here's another one. This man's social skills Greyhound is about that of about a retard, OK? Ask him where the Greyhound bus is and he will... Dude, it's not like that. He's about to take that Greyhound vest off and whip his ass. He is up in his... Look how short he is. Look how high up he's looking.

You know he's not holding the phone above his head. This dude must be 4'7", right here. He's probably James Brown type, Tom. He's probably 5'6". He's James Brown type. He's so upset. Look how high up he's looking. He's so upset.

He's so upset he don't give a fuck how big that guy is. His eyes are so high up. He's actually looking at a plane or something. Go by. He says I'm retarded. Do you think someone calling you retarded would upset you that much? No, no. I don't know his story.

He's been called that a bunch. He worked for Greyhound. Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking pass out. Oh, fuck. This guy just stepped up on me, American. Questions. Take a look at him. Here he comes again.

Step away from me. They always cut off quickly. Here we go. They always cut off quickly. What the fuck? This dude, poor guy, is on break. Oh man, I'm just trying to get a breath. Fed smoker.

Jesus Christ. You know who he looks like? He looks like the guy in Coming to America that sings. She's your queen to be. You know that? Yeah, you're right. She's your queen. It's 100 percent.

He's got like that face neck. Yeah. Same way. That is, it is. Yeah. There he is. He looks like him. Queen.

Looks just like him. Holy shit. That dude was pissed. Boy, he popped right on him. Nah, bro. That's man. Social skills Greyhound is about that of about a retard. He gave him the long lead too.

He's like, listen. That eyeball was good. The nostrils are flared. Look at that. One of them squinted a little bit. Oh man. The right eyeball was on him, dude. He looks like, does he have a mic on or something?

Yeah. Oh, he's got a little headset probably because he gets people like Fed smoker out there harassing him on his breaks. That's the thing is that when you've worked like a job, a jobby job, an hourly thing, and you get that sweet break, it means everything. Those 15 minutes that you get every few hours.

Yeah, you need it. This psycho is going to come and wreck your fucking shit. I mean, I get it. Do you know how many people's days were ruined by him? Like everyone that ever met him was like, that's the worst guy I've ever met. It was. I remember the sheriff's office when he calls.

Oh my god, that's the best one. Hey, Conald. He calls the sheriff and they're like, stop fucking calling. Such an asshole. Oh god. It's episode 553. If you guys want to hear this call we played of Conald would fucking harass the sheriff's department.

He's so crazy and they knew who he was. Oh god, that's so funny. That fucking killed me. That day is looking. He is not happy. Greyhounds got to be one of the roughest day jobs. Hey, you wanted to congratulate Gianluca. Yeah, Gianluca Vecchi, I guess is his name on the Instagram.

He's the millionaire playboy who does these ridiculous dance videos. He does dance videos all the time. You've seen this guy? No. You've never seen it? You've never seen this guy? Pull up his IG and just mute it and just pull up his IG. He's an Italian guy.

He's always on a yacht. There's always a... There's really well coordinated dance videos just for his Instagram. How do you... What made you stumble across this guy? He got wildly popular a few years ago. Look at his followers. 15 million.

Is he like that one guy Dan Bilzerian or something like that? But just a totally different yes. But I want you to... So look, there's he and his new lady. So every six months or so he gets a new girlfriend who looks exactly the same. They're all the same. Burnett, skinny and he's covered in tats.

He works out every day and he's got like a lot of ankle jewelry. Yeah, he's got a little braid in his beard. Yeah. And he always toast pictures with like super hot chicks and people are like, Hey, it's cool. Are you fucking your daughter? That's what it looks like.

Also, he tucks his shirts in a little bit and his boots. His tuxes jeans. Oh, he's Italian. So you give him... Yeah, but your jeans all day. You don't tuck your jeans in. Never tuck your jeans in. Fuck are you doing?

Fuck out of you. So good news, guys, for those of you who are also fans of Gianluca Veglaghi. He is going to become a father again. He already has a grown daughter, but he and his girlfriend are having a baby. They're having a baby. And what is he in his 60s?

Maybe Gianluca. I don't know. I don't know how old he is. Kaka Kaki. But so yeah, very cool. I wanted to show one of his like really cool dance videos though. Yeah. I'm sure if you scroll through.

You know what, I think I have seen this. There, hand that girl. I've seen that. Okay, I've seen the dance stuff. I didn't know he was in. That's him. Here he goes. So it's always...

Oh, no, no, no, I think. And they always have it like pretty coordinated and, you know, you'll incorporate the surroundings and the people there. But look at the ankle jewelry. I see that. The ankle cuff link or whatever is interesting. So this is, yeah. He's got a lot of time to do stuff like this.

But you're saying you like this. Love it. Know that he's going to be a dad. I love that he's going to be a dad. The four of us enjoying a beautiful Sunday. So, oh, oh, the dog is in the picture. Oh, the dog. The dog is that.

Yeah, I mean, it's cool because what he's like, at least in his 60s now, which means that when the kid is in grade school, he'll be dead. So that's fair, right? To have a, is that cool to have a super old ass dad? There's, there was, oh, the guy, isn't it the founder, the guy that started F1? He was in the news last week.

His girl's pregnant. Check this out. See if you can find that. Formula one founder. Who started F1? What's worse to have an old dad or an old husband? What? Old dad.

You think? Not fair. Older husband's great for a wife. A, you don't have to bang them as much. B, he's going to die soon so you get his money. See, yeah, you get the money. How about a Formula One owner? But for a kid, I mean, it's so unfair to do to a child.

Yeah, I'm with you. Fuck that dude. But 1.6 million people love this picture. Yeah, it's Bernie. See the guy underneath, scroll down one more. Wait, but isn't this great? How young she looks compared to him? She looks like 18.

Type in that guy's, like a teenager. She just got pregnant. Her period, yeah. Her period, her learners for a minute. And he's like, he looks like. The fuck is this guy? He looks like her granddad. Yeah, yeah.

No, but Tommy, look at Gianlucchi. Doesn't he look like her granddad or dad? It literally looks like a father. It's like a father and his daughter are having a baby together. It's so fucking weird. See if, go to the search part and see if is. How is this dinosaur? Baby, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold on, because I thought I saw that he is, it's going to have, yeah, yeah, 89. Come on, how old is she? She's 44. I mean, neither of them are spring checkers. That's a nice age gap, too. Yeah, that's a really good age. To be 90 and he's married to you.

I want to know the financials of that. There's no way that. He's only worth 3 billion. That's it, yeah. So what do you think he's, what do you think that situation? I mean, I think he peels off like, he's like, look, I'll give you 50 million if you just stay here till I die. It says, it says expecting first child together.

That shit should say expecting last child together. Jesus, he's 89. Now, do you think he's a piece of shit to get someone pregnant when you're 89? Yeah, I think so. You're, you're, you're not, you shouldn't have kids. Again, there's the haircut. Sagittarius.

I'll call him this motherfucker. You think he might be the old ass theater. He might be, and that might be why he's going, I might be hurting his 89 year old neck. Come on. See, this looks like, I mean, but hold on. Imagine fucking him. They're, oh, never.

This is such an age gap. This doesn't look like her dad. It looks like her, her great grandfather or something. Her great-grand. It does, yeah. He looks like shit compared to her. Well, he's 89. I know, I know.

I mean, if you met her in, you didn't know he wasn't, you'd be like, oh, it's so sweet that you, you take your grandpa out and you take him places. And this photo, you're like, that's a really intimate maternity photo between your father and- They're together a lot right here. Yeah.

They're together a lot. It's cool that she's a foot fucking taller. This might be more than I thought then. This might be some mental illness in there too. Might not just be financial. Could you imagine doing this guy? I could not even imagine. Tell us about it.

What do you think it'd be like? I'm trying to imagine what his body looks like. Look, I'm not perfect naked, but his wrinkled fucking nuts and his- Tits are all- In his defense, his nuts have been wrinkled since he was born. Nuts come wrinkled, you know what I mean?

I don't know, they'll hang, but I don't know if they wrinkle up that much more. They hang more, right? The sounds we've heard on this show today, what do you think he sounds like when he busts the nut? What do you think that guy's sound? Is it 89? It's just like-

80. Do you think he's cheering that he got one out? Probably. It's just dust. It's just dust. Come now, heart. Come for me. Oh, stop.

No woman likes that one. That is gross. Do you believe in mediums? Do you believe in all that? Talking to someone on the past. There's a lady who's really making waves right now because she is connected to one of the biggest stars ever after his death.

Who's this? Hello, this is Michael Jackson. Yes, yes, I did. I went over and met her the journalist with Macaulay Culkin, but she had this ear fan guy over here. The slumdog millionaire actor. He was making me jealous doing Jim Carrey impersonations for her. He's flirting with her.

Wait, I'm just going to say I'm a lot confused. Is she embodying Michael Jackson? Was that Michael Jackson just speaking to us right there? Yeah. I think so, yeah. Wow. She has sex with him, too. This person here.

This person does. She'll go over to that side and have sex and then come back. She'll go to that side, fuck him, come back, and then also open her mouth as a portal for him to speak to this side as well. Also, yes, wow. So, I got her back, okay? I got her back in revengeful ways, okay?

And plus, I don't like her touching me. You know, she kisses on me and stuff. It's not my thing. I love her, but I'd rather be doing the touching and then chasing after her. What? She's on TikTok, too. Oh, really?

She actually just announced that she's off TikTok and moving specifically to Instagram. Oh, wow. That's great. Thank you. Thank you for the update, too. No, yeah, I can tell you guys. Can you give her all her channels or in one location?

Do you know her handle? Um, I have it somewhere. You know what's neat is that the eyebrows say it all, don't they? They sure do. Could you do that? Crazy eyebrows. You'd have to shave off.

I'd have to shave off mine in the end. Could you do the wig and makeup like that? So you look just like her? I could figure it out. Yeah, you want me to? You into her or something? I like her, yeah. The her eyebrows look like two little mice.

You know what I mean? Coming to me. They do. Yeah, a little tail. That's how I feel. And I'm sorry we broke up, but it's better this way for me. And better for her, she gets to do her work so by. She does have his inflection down.

Like, that's for her. Oh, there's no doubt when I close my eyes. Oh, yeah. No doubt. No doubt. I viewed it first. I was like, holy shit. I was like, is Michael Jackson here?

Yeah. We'd save skin tone. That is pretty, yeah. Thank you for sharing this, Tom. You're welcome. There's more. Who is, do we find out who the she is that Michael's talking about here?

Is this Lisa Marie? Like, who are we talking about here? I'm not sure. I think, do you know Nadav? Do you know who? Liza, Diana, Ra. Who's kissing all over? Who's kissing who?

Or who's she talking about? I think Michael Jackson's kissing on her. And then, and Michael's talking through her about her? Oh, wow. This is deeper than I thought. 01:31:55,820 --> 01:31:56,540 Pretty meta. That's pretty, yeah.

Yeah, there's a lot of psychic medium like tools are being employed here. Okay. Wow. That's pretty cool. I'm going to miss her on the talk. There are other people that can talk to other beings on TikTok. Yeah.

Yeah. Like the astral being. You should start your own show. You know, the talk with the ladies. You should start the talk and you should have these people. Do you want to see some of her talk? I would love to do the talk. Hers?

Yeah. Christina's? 01:32:26,540 --> 01:32:27,260 I follow her. I watch Christina. I watch some of the ones she's pulled. There's 40 of them in her roast. I'm so excited.

Okay. All right, here's some. I heard you, bitches, was looking at me. 01:32:35,900 --> 01:32:36,860 No, that's just our intro. Oh, I was like, this is her right now. She's really talented. Really good.

She's got it all, man. Don't care. Don't care. Don't care. Still don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

Well, so that guy's just like, I'm down to fuck all the time. Yeah. And I thought you would relate to that as a guy because you were always telling me, like, you don't care if I haven't showered. Michael, the girl's like, I haven't showered. I haven't shaved. There were some things on that list that I've been like, all right, we're good. But shower and shave.

I have an yeast infection. I'm like, we can wait on that. Yeah, yeah. Well, he says I have a yeast infection. I don't care about my period. I don't care. I don't care. So there's no deal breakers for you.

He has zero deal breakers. Yeast infection. Yeast infection. And parents were in the same room, I think I saw too. Yeah, I do care. I'm not down with that. I don't care about that. I'd be like, yeah.

I'd be like, tell them to leave. When your parents are gone, we can. Even when you were like 20 years old. I'd still be like, I don't want your parents to be in the room. No. Yeah, you'd stop there. You know, the whole idea back then is not to get caught. Sure.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. The whole time in a mass. What was that? Was she? Thank you for coughing. Bye.

I knew you'd like that. Yeah. That was just for Tom. That's one of them Karens right there. Yeah, that's a Karen right there. I like the guy had his phone out for that. Which means at least a few minutes of that bullshit's already happened. Let me get my phone.

This one's a good one. At the UPS store she coughed on. Shout out to UPS Balmer, her primary one joy. A bunch of dicks. I'm taking a break from the dentures right now because the dentures. It hurt to have these healing ass angel bites with the dentures in. But I'm going to post a video of what they look like

and what my teeth looked like before I had my dentures. There's so much going on in this talk. This is a good look. Where do we start? Where do we start? What kind of glasses are those? No, that's an app. I'm sorry, a filter.

Oh, it is. Okay, I'm on there real glasses too. I think that's a filter. The face stuff's cool. What do you see? Like walk me through. I mean, okay, so there's four. No, there's two, what's it called, like studs going through

the top lips, one piercing hoop through the bottom lip. That's pretty standard. Then you got the nose, doorknocker. Bull ring. Yeah, then the ears got some major weight on them. I mean, there's some, you could enter a lifting contest with that kind of shit. It looks like a mini suit of armor hanging off her foot.

And you guys are forgetting the throat tattoo. Throat tattoo is fucking real. Is that a bat? We call that the turtleneck tat where it comes from. It's all the way in that turtleneck area. Then you got the big writing above the eyebrow. What does that say? Do you know what that says?

Shalom, I don't know. Shalom! I like explaining, explaining like I took some shit out. Shit's starting to weigh on me. I'm gonna dial it back on these teeth, man. How about the face jewels? It was enough going on my face today. And the colored contacts, those aren't her real eyes.

No, I think that's the filter. How much do you want to change your whole fucking face up, man? Like, how much? Not only that, like, I get people have insecurities and I get we doubt ourselves at times, but how much do you fucking hate yourself that you want to change your eye color?

Yeah. Okay, I was a five. It's your eye color. Who, how, you hate, look. This is true. Any person that wants to stand in front of any, the panel of the three of us and say, I think I want to get my eyes done.

I guarantee you each one of us will go, you know what I do before I do your eyes? There's this, this, this, this, this. There's people that go out every day with a, like an illusion, like a fake eye color, because they think every day. That's crazy. It's interesting, isn't it?

That's so crazy. Yeah, I totally agree, man. It's crazy, but okay, random. But I've ever been like doing crystal for like a good amount of time, a couple days, whatever, and then no matter what the fuck you do, whatever you pick up, you just fucking drop it.

And then you go to pick it up again and you fucking drop it again. I don't know, maybe that's just me, but I just thought of that. The fact that he thinks that's relatable to like most people, you know when you're a couple of days into a meth binge and you drop shit?

It's probably got 25,000 likes. That's his like universal observational stuff. It's not the decision to tattoo your neck with two different color stars. His teeth actually are in great form. They're in great shape. He might be a new user. Yeah.

He might be a new user. He might be new to it. It's like I'm driving everything, guys. Very lovelace. And like the clumsiness is what you're focused on? Yeah. Not the sleeplessness for days or the loss of appetite

or the fucking nervousness. The guy smoking meth for days straight. He's like, I can't keep holding, I can't keep holding shit. You got, I haven't slept three days, but I'm dropping everything, man. You don't mean to carry the cupcakes. Let's fly the fuck right here.

It's crazy. But you know what, Larry? Who's your dentist, pal? I'm going to, my first setback, I'm going to be like, you know when you're a couple of days into a crystal? Just walk into that. You know what I mean?

That's how you come in. And then you just keep dropping shit. You guys do that too? You got all clumsy from your meth binge. I didn't realize that clumsiness was a side effect of meth. I mean, he's going to find out from the responses. What if we go to his comments and they're like, That's what I'm saying.

Dude, samezies. Can't believe you're dropping shit. Same shit here. Samezies? So it's been a bit of a roller coaster. Found out Willow's a girl. And we've gotten pretty close. She's bonded with me pretty well,

even in this short time. I'm a safe place for her. I'm going to take her there and she'll be all right. So, thanks everyone. You're welcome. You're welcome, brother. Let me tell you something right now. Jesus Christ.

That raccoon is better off anywhere than that place right there. Jesus Christ, man. I've seen people give kids up for adoption easier than this guy. Oh, fuck. It's a raccoon, dude. That is not a kitten in his arms. That is a rabid raccoon, a wild fucking animal that will rip your fucking face off right now.

He also decided to share that. That's a crit. I mean, I'm going to record this. His eyes were as watery as yours when you were having a ball at me and Christine as expensive. That's what made me laugh. He's emotional. He's really broken up, man.

That dude's big, too, man. It's Walmart. There's a whole thread of Walmart Yellers right now. They're anti- He's way bigger than everybody there. Way bigger, right? It looks like it. But also, you're yelling at the people that are out in the store.

He's like, they want you to stay home and die. Like, no shit, man. I'm just trying to get some toilet paper. They're here. Why are you telling these people? You should be riding through neighborhoods with that message. That's a woman's face he got into. Jesus.

They're all like seniored readers. I'm just trying to return this universal remote here playing. Come on, now. I know. And it says, because I really like going to Walmart, and I like the items there, but I don't like the clientele. I mean, that's the greeter, right? That's the greeter right there.

That's the new greeter. You know what that dude needs? He needs a Greyhound vest right now. That's what he needs. They're hiring. Woo, man. He is big. Oh, he's that beard-gut-got-all-stab-ya.

Oh, you're missing this. He's chilling. Eating some ribeye. Draw, of course. We got the fire. Got no meat on the fire. And I talked to my butcher in the slaughterhouse people today. I can get blood.

So I'm going to drink some cow's blood. Probably in the next few weeks. I'll make a thing for a live stream before, just so everybody can see it. But yeah, I'm going to drink some cow's blood. Stay tuned for that. I'm also working on finding the lamb. I just got to talk to the guy.

He hasn't been home. But I'm going to slaughter a lamb. I'm going to eat its brains and its eyes. I'm going to do the whole slaughter video. I'm going to upload with a bitchy, probably. But I'll show what I eat here, too. This ribeye is really good, though. I'm pretty sure it was just cut today.

It's amazing. Super chill. If you're interested, his handle is Eat Raw Meat on TikTok. I can't believe that was available. Yeah. So this guy had been following him for a while. He also shows you his morning smoothie, which consists of raw liver.

And he'll blend it up and put eggs in it. And he's like primal diet or paleo or keto, whatever. But 100%, he only eats raw meat. He ferments his own meat in jars. Wait, that's a thing? Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't look, Christina. I'm trying to give you a heads up.

You said the eggs, and I almost said as you put it there. I forgot about the pork. I forgot about the... I didn't see it, but I... But you said eggs. You said breakfast or something. Breakfast. You said breakfast, Eddie.

Can we ask Dr. Drew, will you mark that for Drew, eating the raw meat? I want to see if he can... I want to show him the eggs. I'll show them both. There's no way that can't not be good for you. There's no way... Which one, the raw meat guy?

This, the eating your own... There's no way. So that's a Drew as well. There's no way. I mean, I'm not gonna... I think it's fine. There's no way. That's fine.

I'll tell you why it's fine. It's a little bit of duty, and you can eat duty. You can eat your duty on your peachy. Did you see the poutine? No. You didn't see it? But we can't forget TikTok. I watched...

Here's what I saw, and this is all I'm comfortable seeing. I saw the video of Dr. Drew see it, and I know what comes out of this studio, so I didn't need to fucking... I knew I didn't need to see that. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know... When I come here, I'm not sure what I'm gonna see.

I don't know if I'm gonna... This is what I was about to say, or just piss pig, cupping his teeth. He's the best. He's the best. I know this. I've put king fries. I've put king fries.

They're basically your fries. Cheese, and a great appetite. I love him so much. You gotta have a good appetite. I love him. However... However... There's gonna be a bit of a change to the recipe.

Everybody likes to change the recipe up. They do. Everybody does. Everyone does it different. Fries, cheese, pig shit, and pig piss. Ooh, it's gonna be a treat. Come on. Yep.

So let's get... Let's get things happening. Yes, they... Give it... We'll be on the fries first. Through his penis cage, mind you. That's fine. That's so he doesn't get a cake.

You get... You get hard. You get a punishment, you know. Is that what that is? That's not so you don't get your dick caught in a zipper? But I think it's towards your his erythra. But hold on. Isn't there a metal going into his erythra as well?

Probably. Yeah, yeah. I can't. I mean... Well, this doesn't... A little peepee on your fries. Thank you. I'm gonna miss being here with you guys.

Oh, come on, man. Look at him. That's chocolate soft serve, bro. That is caramel sauce. Oh, God. Little gift. He says he went and sat right back down on his chair. He went right back down his...

Please don't tell me he's salt and pepper in the thing. No, he's putting the cheese on. The cheese curds. Oh, God, the smell of that right now. I pretend it's chili cheese fries. I don't even think about it. That came out of... No, no, you just...

You're telling me Dr. Drew said this is okay? He said it's okay. There's no way. You know why? It's a tubing outside of the body. So what it is... Okay. The esophagus, the stomach, the intestines,

it's all considered outside of the body. So it goes through one tube in and out, and he says it won't leak to your other organs. It's not... I mean, yeah. He actually said it's good for you. It's good for you. He said pee is sterile.

So we just take right in there. There's no number right here, eh? Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh, he's chewing. He didn't even swallow it. Like, rushing with water. Oh, God.

I can't. Cheese, entrusted shit. Oh, look at the water. We've never made it this far in the video before. Don't. Don't you dare puke in here. Don't. Don't.

Okay. Yeah, we're done. Can we go back to TikTok, sustain a place? All done, Tom. We're done, we're done, we're done. No push. Oh, God. All done.

Tell me what I can look. I won't only trust you. I'm done. Turn it off. Oh, God. Is this the end? She's looking for where to go. God, it's TikTok.

I got several browsers open. I'm just trying to find the right button. I cannot. I'm looking for the button. Should've stressed me out, dude. Okay, it's over. It's over. I mean, have you seen anything that crazy in your life?

No, no. No, Christina. I started telling you I broke up with a girl that I thought was a nice person that wanted to suck my dick while I took a shit, and you guys are showing me way worse. Would you do this for $15,000? Fuck, no. $15,000.

There wouldn't be any thousand in that number. No. Look, I have a price. I definitely have a price, but it ain't in the thousands. $100,000. No, that's in the thousands. That's a minimum. It ain't a million either, but it's in the mills.

It's in the mills. Really? Yeah. To do this, it'd be $15 million. $15 million. One bite. One bite. All right.

Let's switch it up. All right. Let's switch it up. Hey, so a friend during our... Who knows what's about to happen now? It was a really great question, and I kind of wanted to talk about it here. My friend asked, can you be transgender and non-binary, or do you have to be one or the other?

Oh, my god. And I thought that was a really great question for people who may not know. I, myself, am transgender and non-binary. For me, that means I transitioned out of what society deemed me at birth. I use hormones and have had top surgery. So my identity stems as being both trans and non-binary, because I'm not a man,

but I'm still transitioning away from being a woman. I know non-binary folks who identify as non-binary. Put the shit video back on. I really think it's how you perceive your identity. And what makes you feel hurt. Fuck, man. So, yeah. All right, yeah.

Okay, okay. I got lost right away. So I studied Heidegger in college, and I can't make heads or tails with this. Would you rather... Would you rather hang out with them? That's your roommate. It's your new roommate.

And you gotta eat dinner and listen to the talk about the pronouns and the gender, and how I rate they get when no one gets their fucking pronouns right in the world. Or your roommate is Norm, poutine guy. The poutine guy. And every night for dinner, Norm makes his poutine, but then he goes away to his room. But you have to watch...

He cleans up. He cleans up. But you guys eat dinner together every night, and Norm eats his bowl of poutine, and you watch him eat it, but then he fucks off for the rest of the day. And he even cleans the shit off of the chair that he sat in. You know how he shits, and then he just sits right there. So he's a gracious host.

He's a good roommate. He's a good roommate. Yeah, he's an ideal roommate in that sense. Or it's hurt them, sorry, they, and you have to talk to them a lot. You guys watch TV. It's like social. I'm gonna go with Skiles for Miles.

Really? Yeah, I'm gonna have to do it. Because of him shitting in the kitchen and stuff all the time? It was bad pride. That'd be right at the top of the list, yeah. You'd be like, I mean, it's cool, you're a nice guy. And you're clean. And I appreciate you cleaning up,

but you keep shitting at the table, you know, and I eat there. And you're always pissing and shitting on it. Also, man, I can't believe. I bring women over here and they're like, what's going on? There's a guy shitting at the table right now. I'm just about to make dinner.

But the emotional torture of listening to this horseshoe is different. You know what I mean? It's a different type of torture. It's like psychological. I would definitely ruin with Norm. Oh, God. Definitely.

Not even. I don't even have to doubt it. Because if I heard a lot of this, I'd be like, you need to shut the fuck up. I put that motherfucker to sleep. That's what I would do. I don't know if I could get Norm to sleep. You know what I mean?

I don't know that I could take Norm. I could take my Skiles. Every once in a while, he gets lazy. He's like, I'll clean up in the morning. No. And then you go to the kitchen for like a late night drink or something. And you're like, hey, Norm, he's like, I know, man.

I'm tired. And you're like, put this shit and piss all over the table. There's corn out here in this sink. But I think Norm would be, like he said, an ideal roommate. He's a sweet guy. He's a sweet guy. But that's his dinner. And every night you guys eat dinner together.

But did you see the shit? The shit wasn't a healthy shit. It was soft serve. It was soft serve. Yeah. He prepared for the video. But he also, it's probably because he eats his own shit. Probably.

I mean, it wasn't his first time doing it. That is definitely not his first time doing that. Of course not. That day, speaking of shit. I've been looking in all the stores. And I cannot find my duty wipes. I repeat, I cannot find my duty wipes. I can't find my duty wipes.

Or her. She's your new roommate. I think she's kind of hot. It's just great. I like her a lot. I would definitely take this girl. I use baby wipes. So I'd be like, I got you, girl.

Don't worry about it. Let me borrow some of that face makeup. So the non-binary trans mask or her. Duty wipes? Her. Duty wipes. Yeah. Yeah.

Duty wipes is cute. But she's dramatic. She's very dramatic. I don't wear you out. I don't wear you out. I'm used to that. I got that all day long right there. But she's so good.

What's the name? Kimchi. Green cheese? So cute. I just love foreign moms. I think they're so fun. Very cute. Great teeth.

A good-hearted, sweet one for you guys. Just a sorbet. Sciences. What the hell is that? What the hell? I'm a doctor now. What is it? I don't know.

This what he told me. And I'm telling you the same thing. He told you what? That I have sciences. What? I have sciences. I like her how angry she gets. It reminds me of Charo.

Because Charo gets angry like that, too. Dude, the Charo sleeping mug is the coffee mug's out. Is it out? It is. Yeah, it should be in the store now. That's just her. So exciting. Passed out.

I had to get her an iPad Pro for me to talk to her. No, for me to sell it. I'm selling her mug. Oh, that's what you had? That was the... Your mom's a hustler, bro. She's such a hustler.

And the dog thinks she's Israeli. E-mail is not in your account. I couldn't do nothing. They should send you something. I'm actually like, you know what? You use email. I love it. Is she Israeli?

Yeah, it sounds like... She sounds Israeli and she acts Israeli. My grandmother was a shoe thrower, old Italian lady. She threw the shit out of her shoe. Really? We saw Eddie Murphy delirious. We couldn't believe. He thought about Aunt Bunny throwing the shoe.

We couldn't believe. Couldn't even fucking believe. No, Aunt Bunny was falling down the steps. We couldn't believe who to fuck. Somebody threw in the shoe. She threw her shoe all the time at us. That was the mom. The boomerang.

Yeah, threw her shoe and it come right back. Oh, this is great. She's spinning like that, yo. What is it? She's the only person... Spinning on a roller coaster like that. I don't know. And are you not supposed to do that?

I don't... No, it doesn't look like anyone else. No one else is, though. But she's spinning like that, yo. She's wearing nice things. Look at everybody. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I always... I mean, terrified. I love it. And the commentary of the person recording is always really good. Yeah. And I'm like, she's spinning. I apologize for looking like I got slammed

in the face with a brick. LOL. A lot of people ask why I got a tattoo on my face in the first place. Yeah. Story time. It might have to be done in a couple parts. Part one.

Back years and years ago, from like 2008 through 2011, 2007 through like 2011, I was a really shitty person. I drank all the fucking time and I went to a bar one time out of many. And I also, at the time, played like a fuckload of World of Warcraft. I still play it, but I weren't here as much.

Anyway. What? So, I... One of my friends was bartending and he played WoW. It's a good story. Just listen. And we got into an argument over who liked WoW more.

And so I said, yeah, motherfucker. I like WoW so much. I'm gonna tattoo that shit right on my face. My druid. And... That's my story. That's the story. That's the story.

They're a World of Warcraft character. I used to be a shitty person. That's what that is. That story was... Fuck. All right, don't talk. So talk, right? So she's like, I like the World of Warcraft.

First of all, why do I look like this? Back in 2007, I used to drink a lot. I was a shitty person. I was in a bar. I was playing... What? My friend said, I love it. I love it.

I was like, I love it more than you and I'm gonna show you. And then, what? 13 years later, I got this shit tattooed on my face yesterday. Imagine someone being like, I like the Ravens a lot and you're like, I love them.

Like, I like it more. No, you don't. No, you don't. And I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna say 13 years for a Ravens face tattoo. And then, I'm gonna fucking show you all. And then, the next time I see you, I'll be like, oh, I guess you do like them more.

Could you imagine? I'm half way there, motherfucker. You'll see. You'll see what she's trying to do. The next video is a follow-up follow-up. Oh, there is? Oh, cool. So go ahead and see where she's at now with it.

My swelling is finally going down a decent amount. Jesus. Still swollen, obviously, but like, I can at least see out of my eye now. It looks good now. So, we'll keep updating as the days progress, so. Oh, my God. It still looks,

doesn't look like it's a huge difference right now. She's having it removed now. Like I said, over the next, um. Really? Yeah, that's what she's showing you. Like, six weeks, I think it is. I'm doing that right now. It will like, start dissolving.

No. Breaking up and. No, it really won't. No, dissolving. I can, I. Do some makeup soon. Personal experience. You're fucked.

You said. No, she's having it. That's why it looks all burned and blurred. Yeah. She's having it removed and it's like so painful. Okay. It's excruciatingly painful. Have you done it?

I'm in the middle of doing this one, so I can get something added to it. Yeah, and they can't really work around it. So I'm like, all right, let's lighten it up enough so you can cover it. I'm seven sessions in and it looks better than that, but it's waste water. That is never going away.

No. Never. No. That is never going away. Well, it's so, it's so dark, too. It was really filled in. It's dark, yes. It's not like you just did a, like a border of Texas

or some shit on there. It's all shaded in. Well, she showed us, didn't she? Look at this guy. He's getting his tattoo. Oh, I've seen this guy. Yeah. This guy's the best.

He said. He couldn't believe he did it. He's like. Look at his teeth chattering. He's going real well. I'm getting this. I don't know if his teeth are chattering or if that's the best person.

I'm getting this understated tattoo removed from my face. Could you imagine? Oh, fuck you. Yeah, this is the other one. This is the worst. This is the other one. Well, why would you rather have the IPC thing? Or the, what is that character called?

Nerds and the, you guys play these games, World of Warcraft. What is that? Werewolf one? Do you know what that is, Annie? It's called a druid. A druid. And that specific one is Alphonseca.

Okay. Would you rather have the druid or the IPC? Fuck. It's tough, right? That is a tough one there. I mean, I feel like the cheek, just because this shit around his mouth just looks like this. ICP weighed in on the coronavirus.

Do you see that? No. Yeah, they have to say. I'll show you. Everybody out here sweating the coronavirus. The coronavirus, sweating the coronavirus. I'm going to teach you a little trick right now. Everybody wants to go buy the toilet paper, the water,

put on the little fucking Michael Jackson mask, whatnot. I'll show you how to get coronavirus. Check it out. Good old fashioned dirt snow. God made dirt. Dirt don't hurt. Take out the rocks and then it'll build your immune system. There you go.

That's right. That's how you beat the fucking system. There you go. Thank God you showed me that, man. I'm going to book the next flight somewhere cold. Go through security and everything with my mask. And when I get there, I'm going to eat some dirt snow. Come back maskless.

No, come back with a tattoo. Why aren't you going to tattoo? Come back with a tattoo and with antibodies. That's how you do it. You know what? Okay, let me ask you this. Coronavirus is going to kill everybody on the planet. But the only way to not die

is to get the insane clown posse tattoo on your face. Jesus Christ. Do you do it? And do you let your children do it? You all have to do it or you die. What do you do? And the rest of humanity is gone? Oh, humanity rides on this.

Well, no, sorry. If I get it, all of humanity lives? No, you're just part of humanity. I'm saying all people either get an insane clown posse face tattoo or they perish from corona. What if the antibody is in that fucking face paint and you have to get it and then that's permanent and we all live as ICP?

Okay, but then we're all doing it. We're all doing it. So then that's fine if we all do it. I don't, I think I just panicked. Right? I die. You would just die? Yeah, but if we all look like that.

What a place to be if we all look like that. Yeah, what's that? I'll kill myself at a juggalofest. Gathering. That would suck. So, you know, um, what a weird episode. You know, Cobra Tate?

I don't think I know. We've we've covered him a few times and he finally covered it. So this is the guy. Okay. The only water I drink is sparkling water. Yes. Sparkling water is for rich people.

Yes. And I'll tell you why. Only because of you. Non-carbonated water. Still water from the fucking tap. The government gives you that shit. Effectively for free. Okay.

That's a little taste of him. I love him so much. Let's see. Women. Water. Let's cut to the chase here. Women should clean up. Not only should women clean up,

women should clean up unprompted. I'm going to tell you why. So that's my man, Tate. We play some videos of him. Enjoyed it. He ended up commenting on a video that we did. And I actually have not seen. I saw the only the first clip of this.

I don't know where he goes. So let's see. Wait. I think he he saw the time we showed it to Moshe and Natasha. Right. And he commented on that. Oh dear.

It's come to my attention that I have ended up on your mom's house podcast. I've already learned from the comments that Natasha has already cheated on the dude and he took her back because people are already saying why are you mentioning cheating when you're a girl fucked another guy?

Why? Okay. Never had no idea. I mean, he's accusing Moshe Cashner. I guess this is another comedian that no one gives a shit about. I've never said that. Why?

Why do you look like that? You're a man. You know, like, because you can, you know, go to the gym and put on some muscle mass. You don't have to look like that. That's a choice. Well, I think Moshe is very handsome. I think he's actually, they're both very attractive people

and he's a comedian. He doesn't need to be muscular or ripped. Or look a certain way. Yeah. That's the whole point that he's, you know, not a mom. Women should clean up. Women should clean up unprompted. True.

I'm going to tell you why. True. Snake arm. Yeah, snake arm. And the reason I have a snake on my arm is because as a kickboxing world champion, King Cobra was my fight name. I think that's a pretty good reason to get a tattoo.

I mean, that's a better reason to get a tattoo than most bimbos get tattoos. And it's like, all right, snake arm. It's the kind of thing that girls say just before they suck dick. I mean, I think that's actually what the girl said to me before she wanted to suck my dick before I took a shit. I think she was like, all right, snake arm.

I was like, wait, what's that mean? I don't mind being on the show, you know? And I think my insights are funny. So I put them online because I find myself amusing in case you were wondering, that's why. Everyone liked me till they thought my house was fake. Everyone was like, yeah, he seems cool. Wow, he's a kickboxer.

Yeah, oh, his house is fake. Oh, why is he putting this online? So as soon as my house was fake, no one likes me. Well, now that my house is real, I expect apologies. Well, he needs to get his maid in there. Look how messy it is. It looks very messy. I don't think he needs his maid.

He just needs some bitch to come up there and clean like he's supposed to. Proper. Get some fucking bitch there. Get some bitch in there without asking. He's a very cool guy. I think there's a little bit of performance. Yes, yes, yes.

The old guy got something right. The old guy. I'm the old guy. He finally got something right. So far, OK, he's like, motion needs to put on muscle. Natasha cheated on it, which I have no idea where he's pulling that from. No, yeah, I think he read one comment in the comment section.

It was just like, yep, that's it, probably. Then you are like a bimbo. I'm a bimbo, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm the old guy. You're the old guy. I got something right. All right.

It doesn't quite suggest he drives a Bentley. It's my Bentley. In fact, I have nine cars. I can name them all for you. We've been like, if we're going to play this game, the little dork wants to talk. Porsche 992, brand new, Aston Martin, Benkvichess Ultimate, Lamborghini Huracan,

holographic and gold. Here we have a McLaren 720S AMG S63. This is my Aston Martin aside of one of the casinos I own. Need I continue? Jesus, is this guy for real? I mean, he's for real. I don't know. But I mean, is that all true?

I don't know. Does he own the casino? Is that what he was saying? I mean, he just said he did. He said casino I own. I got to follow this guy on the ground. He's got some fucking rides. I'll tell you that.

But there's a girl in the background. Do you see her? Well, she needs to clean the fuck up. Then anybody see her, she sat down and started watching the TV. And I'm like, why in this bitch? Yeah, go back. She should clean. I didn't realize that.

Why in this bitch cleaning up? It doesn't quite. Look at her. See her. There's her ponytail right there. Keep going back there. Oh, yeah. I have nine cars.

Maybe she's sitting down on her ass like this. Yeah, maybe she's cleaning up over there. He's supposed to talk. Porsche 992, brand new, Aston Martin, Benkvichess Ultimate. She's so lazy. What's all this bullshit on the ground? Yeah, why is he allowing me? Hey, man, this is three.

This is my Aston Martin aside of one of the casinos I own. One of the casinos I own. I continue. God damn. Oh, I'm so fucking cool. And the plate says TB sexy. T8 sexy. How's that a B?

That's an A. So the first thing the old woman says, you can't even read. The old woman can't read. I'm right now. The old woman can't read. The old dude got it right with me leaning into it. And then his chick, he needs to check his bitch. Sorry.

Oh, me? He needs to check his woman. Dumb. Low IQ. He's making notes. He's making notes. Oh, wow. On what?

What's he making notes on? Just how low IQ you are. Oh, he had to stop to write. When's the baby's next doctor appointment? Go. It's later this year. You want to ask me? So I kind of like the old guy.

He's kind of like me. I know whatever, whatever. He kind of gets everything so far. You're an everyman. You're an everyman, Tom. But his woman's dumb. His woman's dumb. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. You hit the nail on the head. This is the next girlfriend. You're right. He's some girl fucked him up. That is the most basic bitch psychology. So if I have a view on cars, my past car was terrible. If I have a view on cars, my past car was terrible.

If I have a view on cars, my past car was terrible. So, that's a story. And I'm not sure who that's going to be, but I'm sure they're making notes right now. I'm not sure who that's going to make notes. So I'm going to go like this. So if I have a view on cars, my past car was terrible. If I have a view on women, my past woman was terrible.

Of course, the woman who can't read comes out with the most shit. Zero thought, zero originality psychology. I'm going to write down low IQ times too far. We're making more notes. Wait, what's he writing down? I don't know. I hope he's sending them to me.

This dude's great. Yeah, he's the best. What's funny about all of this is that they're trying to make fun of me, but they're also agreeing with me a lot. Like, they just high five. The old lady, she worked out, you know, she has a low IQ, but obviously through years

of rigorous training, the same way you train a dog, give her a donut, whatever. She's worked out the high five. So they agree with me. I tell you what, it sounds like I've got under his skin the most because I've been getting the most attention on this video. I wonder if he likes blondes.

He does. She's blond in the back. Oh, OK. Maybe the ex-girlfriend was a blondie. He probably talks just like that to her too. I bet you he does. I bet that girl on the couch, he's like, hey, you low IQ, non-reading bitch.

Look how messy this room is. And she's like, I'm sorry. Yeah, absolutely. I think it's still kind of an act that he's doing this. He plays it up, but I don't think he's like. He's not sweeter. No, no. He's like, clean up.

That girl has probably sat there in silence when he turns his camera off. He probably looks back and just goes, shut up, bitch. You know, just like, she had said a word for 30 minutes. I just want to go. I want to see his cars. I want to do a whole car video. I want to see his cars show us your McLaren.

No, but I want to do like a fucking video, man. Show us all that shit. Yeah, we, yeah. Okay, so what's his name again? Cobratate. Cobratate. Then show us your shit, bro. I want to see your cars.

I want to see your mansions. Let us see it. I want to see it. Genuinely. I'm curious. I really want to see all your shit. He's got cool stuff. And show me your sparkling water.

Oh, no, we didn't pay. The mafia won't get what they want. The mafia won't get what they want. I guarantee it. The mafia won't get what they want. And let's not be here with the new phone. There's another store. Somebody calls the street.

You're going to have to leave. This reminds me of your ex-room mate. Dude, worked in there. That guy back there lumbering in right now. As I'm looking at him, I'm like, that might be putting. Yeah. That might be, huh? Is there a problem over here?

So what can I do for you? How can I raise your voice? Listen, you don't need to yell in my store, okay? If you want. You're going to make me go further away to pay double. Ma'am, I need you to keep your eyes on me. Where the fuck is the other one? I'm in the store.

Oh, my God. See, she's getting real agitated now. Now, the language is overbearing. I'm going to have to ask you to leave my store. Do you think he would do that and then snap at some point and just smash her head on the fucking table? I do, yeah. It's sooner or later.

I think he would put her through the plate glass window or something. He put a lot of noise. I don't know what I'm. I was nice for 20 minutes and I lost my shit. What'd you do? I threw her through the window. I physically can't laugh anymore on this episode.

I physically can't. My head is hurting. I feel terrible. It's a lot. Like we did that. We did Josh Potter doing tit cups before we got here. I can't walk in and solve that out there in the lobby. And I was like, what the fuck is going on here?

I can't laugh. I guarantee you, devil, the lobby is not going to get what they want. Where's the other Verizon store? This number's on my PO box. And it's worth the hell of a lot of money. Fuck you, you fucking mafia. Fuck you, where's the other Verizon store? You fucking devil.

Where is it? Next door at the mall. Go. Devil. She called him a devil. She's really getting laugh. That guy back there is like, one more thing out of her. I'm going to fuck her up.

He would be like a mison man. He'd be like, I just tried to talk to her. But I liked her. I snapped her neck. Snapped her neck. I don't know what happened. Her head spun all the way around. Why is there blood everywhere?

I kind of blacked out. I was going over her roll over minutes. The next thing I know, she's dead on the floor. But her legs are broken. Her neck broken. Yeah, I'm not sure. I picked her up. I might want to see her on the table.

Let's look at the camera. I don't remember. Why the fucking gun brass is on that? You fucking asshole. You fucking devil. You're a fucking ass. It's a devil. I can't.

I can't take any more carrots. It is always white chicks like this. I know. It is. Not always. It's white dudes too. But it's mostly these bitches right here. Oh my god.

These bitches ruin everything. These are the same bitches back in the day. You couldn't go outside and play. They'd call the fucking police. You're out there having a good time. You know what I mean? Always reporting you, coming out to say something. Like, oh, shut the fuck up.

I know. White people don't know how to mind their own fucking business. Mind your fucking business. I know. Don't talk to anyone and shut the fuck up. Keep it in house and shut the fuck up. You got to see this next on our next next door app or in our neighborhood.

Somebody posted yesterday. It was Veterans Day yesterday. Memorial. Memorial Day. Sorry. I am disgusted at how there's no flags in the neighborhood in front of people's houses. You should all be ashamed of yourself.

Like, what? None of your fucking business, Bru. Did they have one? Yeah. He's claiming he did. But I'm like, it's none of your business, Karen. You fuck what I do. Man, there's no flags?

Yeah, and I didn't show it to you. I guess I texted someone. No. I'm like, dude. I always think flag people are kind of obnoxious, you know? Well, you know what country you're in. Why are you reminding everybody? I don't know.

It's a fuck I am. Yeah. I mean, do it if you want. But I'm always like, whenever I pull up, I'm like, you have a big ass flag. That's weird. Really? My favorite one.

Is this like a government office or something? I love them in pickup trucks. Yeah, in pickup trucks. Anytime I see a flag in a pick, I don't care what. I know I'm white. I see a flag in a pickup truck. I'm like, we're going to go the other way. Let's get away from these guys.

That is a turntail sigh from it. It's scary. I agree. Big pickup trucks, big tires. Any kind of flag on. I don't care if it's U.S. or not. I'm not getting in that motherfucker. Rapist.

Rapist, too. All right. I've laughed so hard for that, too. It physically hurts to. 02:12:42,540 --> 02:12:43,740 I'm exhausted. I'm going to throw up after I leave here. I'm going to not be able to not see that shit.

Do you want to see? I'm having flashes of it right now. Do you want to see the egg video one more time? No, because I'm going to be honest with you, I have blocked out the sound of the fart, but I have not blocked out the yoke going in the hole. I keep seeing it again and again. I can't stop seeing it.

Nobody wants this. I know, but it's kind of romantic when you think about the fact that a couple made it together. You know, he and her made it together. Like he pours it in. He makes the eggs. I mean. It's cute.

Listen, I'm a single parent, so I can't criticize. Maybe that's the secret. Maybe that's why. Maybe that's why I don't fucking care. I eat eggs every day, man. Oh, I love eggs. I eat eggs every day. Do you want me to do this with you?

Oh, sure. Is that what you're saying? Oh, I don't think so. No. I just don't want my butthole to gape. Gape. I don't like the gaping stuff. I feel like I know your butthole too well

to eat eggs out of it, you know? Yeah. I think it's almost better that it's a stranger. Yeah. You know? Oh, for love. I'm getting sick, man. Me too.

Poutine? You want to see the poutine one more time? No. And I'm never eating it when I'm in Canada again either. I'll tell you that. Have you ever eaten poutine? Obviously, you don't want a menu over there. Oh, I'm just going to gag every time.

People are going to be offended when I gag at their menu. Oh, right. They're like, welcome to Canada. You're like, fuck your problem. Fucking American. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Let me explain.

You guys, no norm. No norm. Y'all no norm, Spidey. Oh, my God. I'm taking a shit. You want to blow me? I got the crinkle-cut fries this time. Why don't you blow me while I'm taking a shit?

I totally picture you be like, I'm taking a shit. You want to come blow me? Oh, my God. Say it. Pretend we're at home. Yeah. Miss Dana. Hey, baby.

Taking a shit. You want to blow me? Make sure that oven's preheated for the fries. Oh, my God. Dude, that is disgusting. Bring me some water so I can piss on them, too. Shit's not enough. You've got to piss on them.

My dick's all locked up. Bring the cane for the cage. Where's the key for my dick cage? I know. Can you imagine what the woman has to kill if you were to do the guy right here? I've got to open that motherfucker up. It's so much work.

It's so much work to do the dick cage. And the honeydew. It's moving. I need a nap. I can't. That's the chances. They got all serious. The honeydew.

That should be my promo. Going right for his dick all locked up. I'm taking a shit. You want to suck my dick? All right, now, honeydew. I'm taking a shit. Wait, think about, I'm taking a shit. Do you want to suck my dick?

The honeydew is moving to you. Is that the next shirt? What's that? I'm taking a shit. Do you want to suck my dick? That could be a real hot seller. Well, you'd be surprised. There's women walking around with your cumbiards.

That's right. And this piss on me shirt is a real hot seller. Banger. When I was on tour, that was what Allie said, but she was like, everyone's buying this piss on me shirt. Why? They would show up in my shows. I'd be like, that's a great fucking shirt.

You got the piss on me shirt. You ran around like, yeah. Taking a shit. Yeah. Do you want to suck my dick? Somebody did. That's the crazy part. Somebody asked you to do that.

Ask me permission to do it to me. Wild. I wonder if like, now you say that, like she didn't ask permission to go for the finger. So maybe if we hadn't had that interaction, I wonder if I'd have just been shitting one day and just kicked that motherfucking door. I'm like, it's time.

You know, I'm like, for what? Reaches in the toilet. You're like, oh my god. Also, what if she's like, I want to do that. And you're like, OK. And then she goes in there, tries to start blowing. And she's like, this is disgusting. This is your idea.

You wanted to do this. She's like, yeah, but it smells like shit. I'm like, you know how you, when you're taking a shit to like fart sneak out? Yes, everything. Like it's so nasty. And she would have been like, but if she was all, what if she's all into it going

and then the piss, shitwater splashes and stuff. And then she's like, never mind. It gets all mad. You know, like I did something wrong. What if she got turned on more? She's like, oh my god. So hot. You do the voice.

I saw hot. I have your puss splash on my face. Suck your dick like shitting. Ask if you can do it. Can't suck your dick away. Suck your dick away. It's like a shit. My face is killing me.

Do you have diarrhea? I'm gonna suck it right out of your cock. The honey dude. The honey dude. You're a shit and come at the same time. The honey dude is moving to youtube.com slash rsickler. Rsickler. Go to Ryan's.

Seriously. Suck my dick. Subscribe. I think the plan is I'm going to be episode one at the studio. Come. I just said come. Come and shit at the same time. I'll come early and take a shit.

The honey dude. Come and shit at the same time. Oh god. Yeah. Follow me on instagram rsickler. rsickler.com is my website. You can go find all this shit in. But yeah.

Go please sign up for the youtube where the honey dude. The only thing changing is where you watch the video. That's it. I'm gonna fucking pass out. We had crazed before you got here. Josh Potter was sitting here with tit cup. Professional medical grade industrial tit cup. I saw one.

He put it on his face. He's sucking his face out. I mean let me ask you. Do you want to watch Kevin Hart talking Joe Rogan about some shit like this? The honey dude. It's moving. Got a patreon coming too man. Go ahead and send your stories in.

And get your night pants. And get your order your night pants. Ryan said come to our merch store man. Send your personal stories in. All right. Deal with the important stuff. We got to get going. This is a lot of fun.

Taking a shit. Suck my dick. Oh my god. Our closing song by Mark Price is Feel the Pain. This was a lot of fun. Thanks for coming Ryan. We'll miss you. Thank you for having me.

I'll miss you too. I'll miss you too. We'll see you in your bunch. The best. I love you guys. Here we go guys. Bye bye. You did this.

Look what you've done. You pushed and pushed and now it's come to this. It's maddening and it's all your fault. You asked for it. So here it is. You deserve it. All the kicks, the screams, the blood. It's all for you.

All for you. All for you. All for you. What did you think would happen? Will you walk again? Talk again? We hope not. Will I drop it on your head?

Can a knife puncture your side? I have a bet. Yeah, but like to meet your face. You deserve it all. It's all for you. Your smile doesn't fool us. We want you feel in the deep water. That's when you guys run in.

We kick and push. You fight to live. So we push you under again. I tried to make it work. I listened and I kicked and changed. But you wanted something else. I feel complete as your insides spin. This fist is for you.

This blade is for you. I am too post. Watch the birds eat away. And you pull up in flames. You suffer finally. I did it all for you. All for you. All for you.

All for you. All for you. What you do with it? What you do with it? That was so good. I know how hard that was for you. I'm proud of you. Proud of you.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm begging, I'm sorry. Lucy, I'm just like honey. My cheeks sink, but I should know. My cheeks run wet with tears from my eyes. My master is upset. And I don't know why. Is it something I did?

Is it something I said? Daily shape. Embarrassing myself, holding can drip. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Afraid, afraid, afraid. Afraid to be sorry. Sorry to be afraid. Swing and pain.

Here is my breakfast. In the lunche school. A signal. After some talk. It all becomes clear. I'm about to fit in. Idiot. That's a ball.

Yeah. I broke the ball and dropped. I'm only at my phone. Those are just two things. I know the fair and wrong. It's not your fault that you wished I would die. Now I'm just an outside notification. The inside of all outer words.

Nothing else to say or say or apologize for being an innocent. I appreciate you. Sorry, Mr. Tom. I do believe. Do believe. Do believe. Do believe. Do believe.

Do believe. Do believe. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you.