Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 557 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

SPONSORS: - Go to Squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain - Use Code "HOUSE" for 50% off 2 or more pairs at ShadyRays.com - Buy One, Get One Free. - Go to Saatva.com/ymh and get $225 off your purchase towards a mattress - Get a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Go to Stamps.com, click the micriphone at the top of the homepage and enter MOM - Go to WHOOP.com and enter “YOURMOM” at checkout to save 15%. Sleep better, recover faster, and train smarter. - Go to hellotushy.com/YOURMOM get 10% off your order Pull your jeans up! It's just the Main Mommies in this episode of YMH. They start off by playing a new song by our friend Fart Simpson using drops from YMH All-Star Robert Paul Champagne. Then they take a look at a video by a cool bearded lady. They also watch videos of a woman who breast feeds her older kids, a guy making love to a pile of dirt, a new video from classic Cool Guy Joseph (aka the Ayayay! guy), and the way one dude is trying to improve current social climate. #ApologyLunch! The mommies also discuss Birkenstocks, Tom's recent check-up with his doctor, sunburns, how Bert Kreischer showers, and more. Of course, they also look at a round of Christina's TikTok curations.

Hi, welcome to Lucifer's Glare, your host Robert Paul Champagne here. You all know my juice by now, but I guess the new ones want to come over and fuck the shit out of me. Nine, one, seven, three, five, three, two, nine, one, three. I bought something out, they want it to be bought out, but can't afford it out, right boss? It's flowing apart, so you don't want to fix it, they're lazy, you don't want to fix it. Oh, calm down. I didn't care for a new game, and today there's definitely two. Two, two, let me do this.

Yeah, ready for the hardcore dick. That, that, that red flag. That, that, that red flag. Stroke it like dick, man. Fucking Nick, man. Yeah, decor phone. Okay, let me smoke the cars. Okay.

My mother, when I was a teen, used to sit and read porn books to me. I mean, we had fun. Way to go, RPC, we're proud of you, man. That was awesome, please put up more videos like that. I mean, look, I have to tell you though, his videos have gotten better. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, baby, oh, oh, I can't, oh. The horniness is at a fever point, and he can't take it anymore. He's, now he's resorted to just ejaculating in front of people because he can't take his horniness anymore.

Yeah, I totally get it. He's pleaded, he's begged, he's put it out there, and now he's just going to masturbate in front of you. Yep. All right, well, you know what? It's fine, we can just cut that and use it as just a- We'll just move it to the closer. Yeah, move it, move it to the end. That's fine.

And because, look, how good of a move to that picture. That was really funny. Especially within three seconds, he was like, I'm going to fuck a gum. Yeah. There's, there's, and that was right. I bought these things. I bought these things. I bought these things.

That was a very good, funny part. That was so funny. That part isn't going to be the thing that gets us flagged. Right, right. Shout out to RPC. A lot of people, by the way, I'll admit that I didn't, I didn't read the room exactly correctly. A lot of people have been messaging me that his intense orgasms can be too much at times. What?

They're like, yo dude, you need to dial that way back. What do you mean when they're listening to our show? Yeah, they're like, hey man. The neighbors can hear. They're like, I have headphones in or I'm driving in my car and it's just minutes of a guy having intense orgasms and it's a bit much. And I'm like, isn't that the best part of the show? And they're like, no.

I know. You know, you're right. You and I often enjoy the things that the audience doesn't. I know. I'm not sure how that happened. Sometimes you miss. I really, I really, it really was an eye-opener. No, I, I agree.

The last few episodes, I would, we were like heavy with RPCs only fans and I was like, do you guys just want to watch them come for an hour? And people are like, no. I do. I love it. And so I did Dr. Drew. I did Dr. Drefter Dark yesterday. Yeah.

Is that a good RPC? That's pretty good. And Drew was mortified. What was he mortified by? Like, hasn't aired yet, but you will see he asked for a puke bucket. What? Yes. And it was, so his eyes were watering and it was hard for him.

Wow. What part? Remember the part where he, he makes white and it's a little chunky. Yeah. That part was pretty gross. I'll admit. And then. But like his performance, he's a real performer.

You know, for a long time he was saying porno actor in his bio, like on his. Accounts. And I just thought, oh, that's kind of funny, but he really performs. Well, now we know why. Oh, like he really, really dials it up. You know, it's a, it's a, it's a show. I wish you would come like that with me. It can happen.

Oh, oh, the kids are like, daddy, mom, what's going on? I can do that. Yeah. Oh, let's try it tonight. Let's try it right now. Right now. We can try it tonight. You guys are horny.

You guys are horny. Oh, oh, well, the thing is he. You do it just like him. His orgasms. So great. Last. I mean, I don't know how long, but he, he starts making those sounds on the buildup. Right.

And also the come down. And then the most impressive thing is he like, it's over. And you're like, like most people are going, uh, really? Why? We're going to get flagged because we're talking about Robert Paul champagne coming and the what we like about it. And you're sounding like him come. I'm just saying the YouTube standards and practices team will not smile upon that.

What are we supposed to do, man? We just talk about balloons. Just wait 10 minutes and then we could talk about it. All right. All right. It's already too late. Let's just go fucking. It's too late.

No, yeah. Let's just go. Let's talk about my diarrhea. I feel like I need to process it. I don't want to get flagged. We keep getting flagged. Can I talk about diarrhea? Sure.

Is that a flagable offense? Diarrhea talk? Yep. I mean, we're already wet. We don't need to wear a raincoat anymore. All right. This episode's gone. So let's just, let's just go all in, you know, do what you feel.

This is why we can't, we can't be normal, Tom. We're never going to be normal. Hey, but, but for real. Yeah. Go ahead. Do you think his, what, what hypes up that orgasm to that level for him? Is it just that he's being, he's performing. He's performing.

He knows you're watching. I mean, I still think it probably feels good like it does to everybody, but I think he, he's a showman. You know, He is a performer and I've, he's very charismatic. He knows what you're watching for. Right. He knows what you, why you signed up.

And by the way, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Like the same way, you know, if you're, if you are looking at a porn persons, a page, like you're there for a reason. Right. He's like, yeah. He's like, you know what?

You want orgasms? I'll give you one. Yeah. And I signed up for his only fans. It's only fans and it's worth every penny. Oh yeah. It was really good stuff. Oh yeah.

Anyways, I got to talk about this diarrhea that I had this morning. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. Like, don't you feel like after you have about a diarrhea, you do have to talk through it with somebody to get to the bottom of it and like, it's traumatic. It's pretty traumatic. Yeah.

So this morning I woke up. Sometimes when they're really intense. It was, I haven't had diarrhea since we had tacos for three different taco places with Jesus Trio. Yeah. Anyways, I wake up this morning, let's see if we can do back like a short lock on it. Okay. I woke up and I felt tired this morning, but I made myself go for my morning walk.

Yeah. So I walked, I had coffee and I took a normal dump and then I thought, okay, I can go for my walk. I walked, I came back. I had two hard boiled eggs. I was still hungry. I had cream of wheat. Now I haven't had cream of wheat since I was 12 or 11 years old and I had a big bowl,

a big bowl. I mean, I think I already solved your mystery. Yeah. Yeah. And then I, I mean, I was like, oh gosh, I was sick. Like it made me feel really sick. And then I had my first bout and then in the car I was like, oh, oh, on the freeway. I thought I was going to bar for shit.

And then I came here and then I, I was like waves of diarrhea. Well, first of all, let me just tell you what a compelling story you just told. Cause I feel like the people here, the people at home watching and listening are like, whoa. That is a Sunday times edition story. That is really something. Do you think they're on the edge of their seats here? They're like, I mean, I'm just trying to solve this mystery with her. Yeah.

Is this story going to be optioned by HBO or something? Maybe make it a series? Well, I'd like to tell you the sad part of my story. Oh, okay. Is that I had to dump here in the office. You have never done that, you said. I've never done that. It was my first dump here and there was no bidet.

There's no washlet. We really got, you know what? We have. We have one. No, we have a tushy sponsor. We should get a tushy in here. I know. You know, spray those holes down.

Why are you making that face? You're not into the tushy in the office? Here's the thing. I like using a bidet. I think sharing a bidet is a completely different thing. Oh. Because I mean, as we learned on an after dark, I have a lazy rectum. Yeah.

And I use the bidet to tickle it, to tickle it, to work. So what he does, what Nadav does is he fills his anal verge. That's what Dr. Dew says with water and then he flushes out his own anus. Yeah. So that's what he's become. Yeah, I douche my asshole with the bidet. I don't know how to do it a different way. Oh my God.

How can you refrain from doing that in the office? I could try. Like you just save that for your personal use and then I can use. So it's like every time, so it's almost like every time I go to the dinner table, it's like, hey, there's going to be a lobster tail on your plate. Every time you brown, you have to tease your asshole first? Not every time. Ever since I got the bidet, I've, now that's what.

Do you sit down, you hit it with water? Well, I mean, do you ever like, do you ever feel like you have a shit and you're like, I know this is going to be a stubborn one. It's going to take a lot of pushes. So I, yep. Yeah. So when I have that feeling, it's like, ooh, it's tickle time. Oh, I see.

You stimulate your anal verge. You stimulate my anal verge. And then the brown comes. All the kaka comes out. Yeah. I mean, that's how I do it. Have you been eating wingstop a lot lately still? Yeah.

I muck banged some wingstop over the weekend. And how'd that go? Not well. I hurt myself. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot of salt. Yeah.

That's, yeah. And sauce and like chicken skin. Yeah. Yeah. The salt isn't the only thing hurting me. Yeah. Well, look, let's, let's leave this opener going. Okay.

Let's get into the show. What a dynamic show already. Yeah. This is really something special. Coming and shitting. Jesus. All right. You ready?

Yeah. I love you. But this is why we're married. Like I. All right. I'm ready. Let's go. Okay.

Hey guys. Ruth here of Ruth Butler Music. Oh, fuck. So let's talk about my beard today. I'm just going to share a few things. Looks like to have a beard. This shit is big time. Who is Randy?

Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn when the fuck is dead. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Don Segura. Don Segura. Christina Pajitzen. Welcome to your mom's house.

Yeah. Why? Why would you keep this? Why wouldn't you get rid of that? I have a theory. I know. I know. Okay.

So there's a person on a woman on tech talk that I follow. That's a bearded lady. And she's been like, yeah, I have a fucking beard. I'll tell you why. I got sick and tired of lasering. I got sick and tired of shaving. I'm just going to be who I am. Okay.

It's hormonal. I can't do fucking thing about it. Leave me alone. You can do something about it. You can. You can keep going the laser and shaving and whatever. If that was my situation, I would be working full time and vigilantly to not have that. Come on.

That would be my only purpose in life is to not have a beard. Let me hear this fucking nonsense that she's going to say right now. Yeah. One thing I like about my beard. It's curly. It makes these two ringlets. It's kind of cool. It's kind of thoughtful.

When it gets growing even longer. Well, I guess it's already at the length where it can go. I don't actually do that very often. Like I thought I would. Is she putting on a fake accent? I thought I thought I would. Or is she Irish? I like English.

So this is the camera right here. Yeah. Yeah, we know dummy. When I look here, it's me. So I can look at myself so I can see what I'm doing. So I know you're there. But I'm just going to keep looking at the beard a little bit. Okay.

Okay. Tom. I'm growing it about three years maybe. Oh, three years. I finally decided to take a trek out of modern living. I moved into an RV. While we were there, living in the RV, I decided to grow the beard. To grow the beard.

I tried to get rid of it and hated myself. Oh, I'm horrible. I'm so ugly. And then I decided maybe I like it. No, you don't. There's no way you can like the beard. There's no way, Tom. Okay, question.

Who's the hottest girl in the world? Supermodel, whatever. Who's like the hot chick right now? Who would it? I don't know. Who's your favorite horde that you want to? Favorite horde? Who do you love?

Like Giselle Boonshin? I don't know. Who's the girl, the egg girl? Okay, her. Sure, her. And then she's your lady and then she grows a beard. Do you drop her or you keep her? You tell her this is about to, this is kind of a do or die moment in your life right now.

The beard. Huh? Well, I mean, she's your lady. Right. So I go, do you want to stay together? Yeah. Do you? Right.

Yeah, I do. And then she's like, yeah, definitely. I'm like, oh, okay. So I'm going to walk into the other room and then when I see you again, you got to knock this fuck shit off. Fuck shit. Yeah. But do you think that, okay, so you shave it, but then there's stubble.

Like, so by the end of the day, she's still going to have stubble. Okay. Right? So how do you, you would have to laser it? I'm guessing. Yeah. Go get some laser treatment done. Yeah.

Yeah. Or don't, or don't. And be alone forever. Get an RV and move outside somewhere. With your family. Yeah. Yeah. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. Because she's given up on love. She's definitely given up. And he's shaking. And then there's like some weirdly like long hairs. Man. I'd rather watch poutine. And then some like super long, if they stretch them out, they're like, whoa.

I actually measured them. Maybe I should. My middle finger is three inches exactly. So these puppies are about six inches long. Fuck. When I go down the street. Don't do that. Don't pull it.

On good beard hair days, just twirls perfectly down. But this one, see that? Yeah. What is going there? I'm not good. Like I know we always celebrate people who go, like we always raise people up who go, I don't care what people think. But then don't you think at a certain point you go, you should care a little bit.

Yeah. You know? A little bit. Yeah. Well, especially things you can control. Like this for the most part can be maintained. Do you want to deal with every time you walk into a store, a restaurant, anywhere that people are going to be like, oh my God.

Yeah. And then you have to, you're going like, well, I don't care what they think of me. Or they could never look at you like that again. If you just. I know. Like everyone would be like, oh, that's a nice pretty lady. I know. I know.

You're like, no, no, no, no. I insist. I'm me. I'm doing me. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, man. One of my older brothers is named Darren.

When I was little, he was talking about he would only ever be able to grow a goatee. And for some reason I felt like I want a goatee so much. I'll never be able to have one. And then when it started growing in, when I was like 20, I was like. 20. What is happening to me? I want people to think I'm attractive. Yeah.

Oh no. Yeah. Is she going through something though? Because. What makes you say that? Like she keeps going to this whole thing of like, I was, you know, like normal stuff. I was weirded out by it or. Oh no.

And then now she's like, that was such a silly way of thinking. No, it wasn't. Yeah, I know. Maybe she's just tired of the social constructs. Tom. Yeah. Tom. Misogyny and patriarch.

Yeah. Go. I know. She's telling you that the society doesn't dictate how she feels about her beard. Tom. But if you have a full beard, you should maybe consider growing it because you can do cool stuff. Check this out.

Fuck off. Okay. Okay. What? Huh? Oh. Oh. Cute.

Cute. Oh. Hi. Left. Left side. I'm married. Sorry. Not available.

Right side. I'm available. Oh. Do you think there. That's the Hawaii thing anyway. Do you think there. Flowers behind the ears, right? Aloha.

Aloha. I love Hawaii. Well, do you think there is a man that would. Right this. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. There are.

I mean, they're not like. Men you'd respect, but there there's. Yeah. What kind of man would be with this lady? Kind of guy who's like, isn't my wife's beard cool? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean. Trying to. Bring some good content. Yeah. You can ask me questions. Just talk to me. Talk to me. Talk to me.

Love you. Bye. I mean, she seems like actually like a pretty lady. Right. Right. She has a pretty face. Right. It's just hormonal.

Yeah. It's a hormonal thing. Yeah. I mean, it is a choice to keep it and let it grow. No, it's a choice. It's a choice. I mean, what would you guys do if your lady had that? Would you say something or just kind of roll with it?

This is a decision that she makes in the middle of the relationship. Yeah. She's like, you're dating her. Uh-huh. And then after like, I don't know, a year and a half, she's like, oh, my beard's coming in. All of a sudden. Yeah.

Like she said it happened when she was 20. So let's say you're dating someone who's 28 and then they're like, oh my God, my beard just came in. I'd be like, oh, what are you going to do? And then they're like, I mean, I guess it's just who I am. I always wanted to go team. My brother used to always talk about it. And I go, well, you know, maybe it's time to, you know, leave the nest and go find yourself.

Terrible. Andy, would you tolerate that? No way. Hell no. We're going to the laser place immediately. Immediately. Yeah. And I'll pay for it.

No problem. There you go. I'll pay for it. See? It's going off. I'm helping you. Yeah. I'm going to help you.

What about Zola? Would he take that? No. Absolutely not. No. No chance. No chance. No.

Would you offer to pay? I don't know how much laser treatment costs, but I don't think it's cheap. No, it's not cheap. It's not cheap. But if you really liked it, let's say you really like her and then it comes in. You'd still be like, we've got it. We have to address this. Yeah.

It needs to go. It needs to go. It's disgusting. Listen, this is a woman's choice to shut her vag down. This is what's happening here. There's certain levels to it, right? Yeah. First is buying Birkenstocks.

You start to wear Birkenstocks. You decide that you don't want male attention, and then maybe you buy Kulot pants, you know, or Jorts or whatever, and then. Those Birkenstocks are such a sign. It's disgusting. Any woman that wears the Birkenstock, that is a direct message. I don't want to fuck. I don't want anybody in my vagina.

I don't like male attention. Ugh. Ugh. And same goes for men, for that matter, who are wearing these sandals. I agree. It's disgusting. No, they're absolutely. Or crocs, if you're wearing crocs.

I mean, come on. Those ones right there, no, the next one over, the leather. Those look like, I don't know, just like a bacteria haven or something. Well, that's what happens, is that under the feet, there's a black rim or, you know, the black outline of where your dirty toes are all the time. That's how you can tell. I hate them so much. I hate them so much.

You want to fuck? I judge them immediately, too. Oh, so do I. You know, if somebody walks up like that, I'm like, I'm just fucking idiot. Immediately. Me, too. I can't take you seriously in a burk. Asshole.

The official shoe of Vermont. Get out of here. But this is the last stop in the woman's world before letting your beard grow out, you know? Yeah. Um, you know, I got, I went and saw Dr. Dick. You did. Saw Dr. Dick.

Yeah. Yesterday fingered my asshole hard. You didn't even tell me this when you got home yesterday. Fingered it hard. And I got to tell you, I really now think anything is possible with lube. Yeah. You can do anything with lube. Yeah.

Because he, he's given me the physical and, you know, checking everything. Yeah. I grabbed him when they check your, you know, they do this thing here. I was like, Hey, I got fucking tickled. He's like, relax. And then he goes, I go, Hey, and I grabbed him. He just made me, it made me jump. You don't like when people, when I touch your neck.

No, no, no. And I was, I was super jumpy with it. And then he's like, all right, drop your shorts. And he's, you know, he's playing with my balls. I mean, he's not playing with them. And then he gives them a kiss and he licks them. And then he goes, all right, taste test. Turn on your side.

And I was like, I knew what was coming. I was like, God damn it. Did you have to draw your knees to your chest? Yeah. So here's the thing. He's like, come on, man. He goes, pull your knees up more. Cause I guess they were only up.

Like, so you really gotta pull them up, you know, pull them up to your chest. Yeah. And then he goes, here comes the goop. And you just hear like, like just slops on there. And I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. And then he, um, yeah, he starts. Well done. Does he do one finger in?

Yeah. And here's the thing slowly. Yeah. It's like, you know, it's not super slow, but it's slowly. And you go like, ooh, right? You're like, oh, fuck. And you think that that's the worst of it. And then once he's in, he goes, oh, like jams to, I guess, to check your prostate.

I can't even tell what's happening. I'm just grimacing. I'm like, oh, and I'm, I'm probably being overly dramatic. You know, I'm like, oh, come on. And he's like, and then you can feel him just jamming it in harder, harder, harder. Yeah. I'm going to calm him. And then I come, um, so then, and then he pulls it out and I'm like, oh my God.

And he goes, hold on. I got to check for blood. And then I'm like, just waiting. And he goes, all right, no blood. I'm like, okay. And he goes, all right, when you turn around, there's some tissues here and then there's a waste basket under the sink. So wipe up and throw them in that waste basket.

I go, okay. Wait, but when he tickles your prostate, it didn't feel good. No, it's not a, it's not a pleasurable thing. He jams his finger in there and then he just like, like basically slams against your prostate to see what's going on. It's horrible. Horrible. Uh, he also was like, how would you do that?

Why would you mock my pain? Why? I've given birth to two of our children. It's a small price to pay. I bet that was tough. God. Everybody knows it's a fucking orgasm for a woman to give birth. It's nothing but clit stimulation for hours.

It's true. It's true. This is childbirth right here. Thanks. Does he say anything funny while he's fingering? He did the first time. He did the first time. The first time I put it in my act, he goes, all right, you're going to feel a little

pressure and that is my cock, my finger. He did that. My doctor did that. Then, dude, because I'm 41, he goes, all right, you need to check everything. I have fucking 15 appointments next week. I know. Welcome to the 40s. It sucks.

He's just like, you've got to have your ultrasounds. You've got to do this. What ultrasound for your neck? Yeah, but then go to your cardiologist and have this really intense stress test done. Then go in there for a checkup with him. Then go to the dermatologist. He's like, do a full body count. All these things where you're like, why?

He's like, because you're 41. You could die tomorrow. You're like, all right. It's so true. Did you get the tumor markers? I like that test. When they take your blood. They took my blood.

Did you ask for extras? Because he's like, we're going to do this. Yeah, he's like, we're going to run whatever you want, man. Then you're in test. Then he wants me to go to an orthopedist. For what? My shoulder. Then he wants me to go.

It's just a lot of shit, man. A lot of appointments. I know. I get my tits done. My cooch looked at. I got to get up. Skin is reduction. Yeah.

It's not all it's made up to be. Poor guy. You hear about these real big dicks. It's not that fun, guys. It's a little bit. Fuck, man. Hey, by the way, any? Just want you to know, I'm going to buy you lunch today.

Okay? Okay. Just letting you know. What's up, white people? And the rest of you motherfuckers. I'm starting a trend. Look what I got. One.

Two. Oh, show them the bag. I don't see the bag. Hashtag apology lunch. Go find yourself a black person and buy him some fucking food. Hashtag apology lunch. All right. Anything you want, buddy.

Thank you so much, man. Sorry about American history. Dude, those guys in the car look like they're so, like, they've just been geeking about what this dude is doing. I know. Because at any point, they could just turn around and fuck this dude up. And they're just like, free lunch? All right, man.

Free lunch is pretty cool. And he splurged. He took them to party. Yeah. And those bags don't look light, if you know what I mean. I think they were just, like, couple extra sandwiches. Like, yeah, sure, go ahead. Burger King.

You know, he wasn't like, do you want a number five or a number seven? They're like, how about both? They're like, sounds good. Yeah. Yep. Pretty good stuff. Cool. Good.

It's really cool. I've been waiting for these thoughtful videos to come out. Yeah. Go find yourself a black person. Go find yourself a black person. And buy him lunch. Yeah. That's pretty cool.

What's up, white people? Oh, boy. It's a good message. What's up, white people? People have to make change on their level. And this is the difference that he's choosing to make. Yeah. You know.

Hey. Hey, it's nice. Not like it's a mean thing to do. No, it's not an inherently bad thing. It's a good start. Yeah. I like to walk into, like, an all black store. And be like, guys?

Uh, guys? And have everybody just be like, do you guys want lunch? And they're like, what? Do you guys feel like getting some lunch on me? What? Because everything's been bad. So do you guys want to eat? Yeah.

All right. Come on. I've been really enjoying the flurry of corporate emails. Every corporation is BLM right now. It's really authentic. It feels really good. It feels really good. Yeah.

Yeah. Lululemon supports Black Lives Matter. Thank God. Okay. Here at Verizon, we recognize that Black communities have had it rough. We will not be offering you any discounts, but we see you. Yeah. I know.

Yeah. We will be doing nothing to help the community in any way. But. We here recognizes that Black Americans like tractors too. Yeah. It is pretty hilarious to watch corporations involved with social issues. Well, it doesn't. I wish they would just not.

Just don't. Yeah. It doesn't feel authentic. It's not, you're not helping anybody. Like you're just bandwagoning and it doesn't, it's not nothing. What are you doing? I don't know. Do you even have Black people in your organization at the top?

Well, that's what, that's one of the things that they've been pointing out is the lack of Black representation. Well, in a lot of places, but in corporate America, you know, like there's something with Adidas and Nike, how I think Nike has one Black board member. Adidas has none. Adidas also has no like top executives that are Black. So all the Black employees at Adidas were like, um, you keep, you know, saying all this shit and you mark it to us, but you don't have any.

But did they send out a thoughtful email? Of course they did. Yeah. They kind of feel safe. Then they made some real nice posts and they were like, we care about you. Here's a new shoot. Yeah. So yeah, corporate America, man.

They're really, really cool. Oh my God. And then that actor video got passed around where they were apologizing. Remember what was it? Which one? The one was, there's like, I take responsibility. Oh my God. Take responsibility.

Yeah. We have it here. Why don't you play that one? This thing is so cringy. How embarrassing. So cringy. Oh my gosh. There it is.

I mean, look, I'm supporting the cause and I, but there's some of it's just so insincere. What it is too. This is nutty. This is the difference between comedians and actors. It really is. Actors are like, man, they just, they're so intense. I mean, so intensely. Yes.

Feel everything. Yes. This thing is like. I take responsibility. Responsibility. Look at this guy. I take responsibility. Oh my God.

I take responsibility. I take responsibility. Oh wait. Oh. For every time it was easier to ignore than to call it out for what it was. Every not so funny joke. Every unfair stereotype. For every blatant injustice, no matter how big or small.

Every time I remained silent. Every time I explained away police brutality. Or turned a blind eye. Yeah. I take responsibility. What are you going to do? Black people are being slaughtered in the streets, killed in their own homes. These are our brothers and sisters, our friends, our family.

She looks like she got. I'm such a piece of shit. I will no longer allow an unchecked moment. Oh, okay. I will no longer allow racist, hurtful words, jokes, stereotypes. Oh, not good jokes. No matter how big or small. What about good jokes?

What about good jokes? In my presence. No jokes? I will not turn a blind eye. I'll never turn a blind eye. I'll always use my good one. I stand against hate. I stand against hate.

Wow. I stand against hate. Oh, I fucked up. Oh, I fucked up. I call out hate. Step up. Oh. And take action.

He's such a good actor. Yeah. Like Jesse from the. Yeah, yeah. But he's the most intense. He was so intense. When actors do the prayer. Aaron Paul, right?

Is that his name? Yeah. But Tom, whenever you do this, just for your future acting, you have to pray. Prayer hands. And then you look down, you take a breath. I have diarrhea. I take responsibility. For jokes.

Make fun of other people for the way they look. And the way they sound. And they talk like this. Oh, they don't like me. I take responsibility for how stupid this video is. Oh, my God. And it is so, it is an acting thing. Yeah.

Actors are so intense. I know. And how many of them just dialed that up, you know? Of course. And how many of them even have. No, I guarantee you don't have black friends or black anything in there. No. Oh, God.

I'm not buying it. That was so funny. How about this right here? I take it. You know, some honey burn. There he is. I got some potato too. Potato chips.

Potato chips. Potato chips. You get hungry. I got my baby. Yeah. Get some snacks. Put your head up. Because you know once we play that, do what we have to do.

You know what I mean? You gonna be hungry. Yep. I'm gonna look out for my baby. He's still on a campaign. You know how I feel about snacks? Just let me eat you. Yeah.

Well, if they put that slogan on those Doritos, they'd sell a lot more. Oh, yeah. Let me eat you. Just let me eat you, man. Look. You see what I'm saying? You gonna be right here. Yeah.

I'm gonna be playing with the bikini. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Okay. There we go. Okay. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Does he get laid? You think? Look at those moves, man. I mean, he kind of talks about it the way that a teenage boy talks about it before he's had sex where it's like all he thinks about and he's so excited. You know?

It almost feels like... I think he's speaking from experience. But let me tell you this, though. This video won me over until he started air-humping because he offered me snacks. That's very thoughtful. By the way, I think he is actually an attentive lover. I think now I'm beginning to think he does care for my needs. You've never offered me snacks.

Post-coital, pre-coital. I don't think that's true. You don't offer me snacks. I've gotten snacks before. No. Afterwards? Wine. You've gotten me wine before.

Get me F'd up. I did what I could, you know? But I was just saying, you know, he let you... He made his pitch about eating you and then you sleep for three days and getting the... Just wash them bubbles, make it smell nice. Yeah. You get... He's like, horned off.

But now he's like, I got you snacks for when we're done. That's what I'm beginning to... He's growing on me now. I think I'm into it. He's switching from cool guy to real guy. Yeah. It's really cool. Yeah.

Uh-huh. That's how you want it? Yeah. On the side, I got you, baby. Gain up. Uh-huh. Yeah. Kiss me, my baby.

You want some more? Would you do him? If he had his teeth, I might consider just like... Really? I'd kiss him a little. Just to be... No. Like, if he was in a bar and he was dead.

Yeah. If he had his teeth, I might consider... Really? Just like, I'd kiss him a little. No. Just to be... No. Like, if he was in a bar and he was doing this racket and it was fun, you know, like

when we're on vacation somewhere and this guy's in the bar and he's like, let me eat you, girl. Yeah. And we're fucking around, I might kiss him on the lips a little. Really? Yeah. If he had his teeth. Just for fun.

Would you just kiss him on the pee pee a little too? No. But I like... You know, I'd like dirty dance with him a little, just for fun. I would. I would watch. Yeah. How you gonna say it?

Yeah. Oh, Joseph. Oh, Joseph. That's his name. That's his name. Yes, Joseph. Yes. Oh.

I'm gonna make you cry. Oh. This is what junior high boys are like. You're absolutely right. Yeah. It is. Like, they hump stuff and they pretend like they're air humping a lot. Yeah.

Oh, Joseph. Yeah. This is what boys do in the 17th grade. Yeah. It's pretty good. That's funny. I wonder if he gets laid. Someone's gotta be...

I mean, a teenage boy would go... Play with the bikini. You know? I don't think he actually does it much. Yeah. Stop with the jokes. There's no place for jokes. My pussy's bleeding.

The next time someone makes a joke, I'm gonna call them out. That's not funny. There's real people. Yeah. You guys never fucking... Such pussies. I mean, you never... Yeah.

You never... Drink a gallon of bleach. Yeah. Make a video about that. Shut up. Throw up. Fucking... So, speaking of different races, I got burned the other day.

I got sunburned. I was... I was... I decided... You were boxing in the backyard. Yeah. I was boxing in the backyard. In the middle of the day.

We had our masks on. We were protecting our immune systems. But my buddy came over with mitts. So we were doing like, you know, whatever. Working the mitts in the backyard. It was hot. Yeah. It was cooking.

You're very fair. I was... I had some sunblock on my head and my neck. Anyways, then we're done. You know, we get naked. We're just wrestling in the backyard a little bit. And then we jump in the pool. And I was so hot from like boxing and fucking and wrestling that I go, you know, I just

want to cool off. So we jump in the pool. Oh, God. You guys would be the perfect gay lovers. I always think that. You know, this bro, I mean, he's in really good shape. Yeah. I took a bird shower.

I did. That's how bird showers every day. But let me tell you what happened. So, yeah. Bird hasn't showered indoors only but twice this year, right? Leigh Ann's told me about this. He's done the hose off. So gross.

And they have sex. Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. She must get UTIs constantly. All the time. I'm sure. He either uses the hose outside or jumps in the pool.

He's like, yeah, he showered in the pool. No, that doesn't count. Wait. Do you use shampoo and soap in the pool? He's like, no. He just rents off. No. And that's chlorine.

He's probably too cheap to have salt water. We have salt water, please. And so you guys, you and your boyfriend were in our pool. Yeah. And it's been windy. It was very windy. It was very windy. It was a couple of nights before.

And I go down and I look in the pool. I go, Jesus, I must have been the mean blue. All these dirt in the pool because it's so cloudy. Yeah. And I was really, I've never seen the pool look so bad. It was super cloudy. Yeah. And I was like, this is, I was going to go for a swim.

I'm not going to swim now. Anyway, you and your boyfriend leave. An hour later, the pool is crystal clear. And I go, oh my God, these two animals were so filthy. Yeah. And you put it in your dirt that you clouded the pool. It was gross. And it wasn't sunblock because you guys hadn't worn any.

Yeah. Put some on my, here's the thing. So I got lazy. I was so tired after the wrestling and the fucking everything. I, instead of just grabbing the spray and spraying my shoulder and neck and everything. I just jumped in the pool, you know, I just wanted to cool off. Dude, I was only out there, I think exposed 30 minutes. Yeah.

Maybe. Damn, I was fucking burned. When you were burned, I put some aloe vera on your back. I haven't burned, I haven't been sunburned in years now. Yeah. I'm always paranoid. I'm always paranoid. I didn't have a really, really bad burn, but you could, you know, if I'd stayed out there

another 20 minutes, it would have been. Do you know, do you know what's crazy is that I remember getting burned so much as a child. Yeah. Like your whole summer was just getting sunburned. And I remember just laying in the bed and my mom would put solar cane on me and I would like freezing from the mental feeling of the mental or whatever the fuck it is. And I'm like, why did nobody just put sunblock on me? I know.

Did nobody wear sunblock until 1998 or something? Like when did that become a thing where you put sunblock on children? Did you see the pictures of Charo where she was like, she put like oil on her, like cooking oil and shit. Yeah, people would. And just chocolate. She looks dark, dark brown in photos. Her teeth jump out in these photos and you're like, how long are you in the sun?

She's like, we'd get out there at eight in the morning and stay until sunset and just put enhancers on. Just like all these oils. She's lucky she doesn't have skin cancer. She does. Oh, she does. Yeah. She's had multiple like chunks of skin removed from her face.

Yeah. Because later in life it's a Dr. Drew's thing. That's when it fucks you over. Yeah. Yeah. That's terrible, man. Yeah. It ain't worth it for the tan.

Not worth it. It's not worth it. Don't do it. I know. I feel like we're going to have a lot of those lessons with our boys. I know. I feel like one of them is definitely going to be like, I don't worry if I can sunblock. He's already like that.

Proposers. Yeah. Yep. You're going to like this one a lot. Yeah. You're going to like the way you look. Are you ready? I guarantee it.

Veronica believes that children should decide for themselves when to stop breastfeeding. Bethany and Eliza Robinson have been breastfed for many years. And Eliza is still breastfeeding at seven. I see Eliza lying here. They take up a lot of space. And it's not quite the same as a little infant tucked in your arm. But, you know, clearly they get as much pleasure and as much comfort as a newborn does. And one of the really nice things is children get older is that they can verbalize their

experience and tell you how much they enjoy it. I remember it tasting really, really sweet. Her elder sister Bethany was breastfed until she was five and still has fond memories. Better than anything in the world. Better than mango even. I'm pretty sure that's not good. It's not developmentally. In the mornings when I'm getting dressed the girls talk to my brist.

They touch them. We've had to set up some firm rules about letting me get dressed in peace. They don't like it when I put a bra on. They think I'm trapping the brist and they should be free to float about. This, I get the feeling this is more for mom than the kids. And I'm getting the feeling that there's no dad in the picture. This is definitely for mom. There's no dad.

And this woman is getting all her love and affection from these two children, which is really sick and weird. There might be a dad. No. Bethany and Eliza like to express their feelings about breastfeeding in drawings or pictures. Oh my God. When they draw pictures of them, it's quite interesting. You know, every woman has a breast that's slightly larger than the other,

so that's always featured in there. That the nipples are very long. Well, I don't have long nipples, but clearly for them there's some significance in the nipple. You know, they don't care that they're stretch marked and saggy and wobble and everything. Everything that my breasts do and are, they love and adore. They like them so much, they even have names for them. Their Christmas names are milky or for the one that's got most velcro. Milk is milk for the other one.

Milk is one that you collect with a pink dot. Milk is the one without a pink dot, because that has the most milky. You realize that none of this would ever come up if six years prior should have just been like, oh, we're just done with that. We're done. Anyway, what you guys want to do? You want to go outside? Yeah, it's over.

The thing is too like the amount of attention. Sounds like you've made these kids really into your breasts. Well, and they're so obsessed that we're doing drawings about the breasts. We're talking about the whole family. Also doing drawings of Papa's balls. And Papa's balls, the left one hangs down lower than the right. There's nicknames for them. There's Richard on the left and Simon on the right.

This one's Paul McCopney. Yeah, I just think this is not developmentally good to keep them infant. Keep them infants when they're five and seven. And then also like, what kid is talking like that about their mom's breasts? I don't know. I've never had a kid like, ah, man, fuck. I think it's... Sucking on my mom's tits, dude.

It is the shit. It's sweeter than a mango. I draw pictures of her tits. I touch her tits when I wake up. I mean, who fucking does that? I don't know. I think it's a healthy development to separate your, especially when you have boys. I don't know what it does to girls to do this to them.

But even last night, Essies was like, you know, and the babies, they like to play with. They touch them. They're fatty and they're laughing and stuff, but they know that it's... They're not still sucking on my titties, you know what I mean? So what do you think is the right age to stop that feeding? Never. Never. Apart from Wesley and Liam.

I don't think anyone should ever stop that feeding. What are these two mushmouths saying? I don't even understand what these... It's just that simple. They will not. These two mushmouth kids, do you understand what the fuck they're saying? Yeah, I do. Breastfeed when they go to college or get married.

It's never happened. It's never going to happen. Once you're out in that big bad world... I don't think anyone should ever stop that feeding. Never. They won't breastfeed forever. It's just that simple. They will not breastfeed when they go to college or get married.

It's never happened. It's never going to happen. Once you're out in that big bad world, that's it. There is no safe haven like being at mother's breast. That's not unusual amongst breastfeeding families either. You know, baby on one side, husband on the other. You know, you've just got to keep everyone happy, don't you? The only thing is that the breasts then...

I've got a very big baby there to feed. We'll make some more so we can be counted productive. And a very fat husband as well. Huh? Wait, what? Is he sucking her tits too? Sounds like it. This bitch is feeding the whole family with these tits?

You emptied your boobs! Eliza thinks I've emptied my breasts and that's why she... Yeah! I can't get any milk out but it's... that she's actually losing the ability to suck. I did suck! Properly in this body and I got no milk! Well, I think it's lovely that you're...

going to have a new part of your life to go into. That you're going to... grow up to be a big girl now. I don't want to be a bag! All breast milk! It's very rare that a clip upsets me this month. I know! On this show.

I know! Well, trying to keep them developmentally behind, which is what this is doing, is not cool. No. To be seven and still breastfeeding is... My dad is like... I like them titties too. Like that milk.

Ugh! Hey, Pete! I'm going to try some breast milk out now. Okay? We had some... my old lady she had a pump. Because the other night we went and had a couple of drinks or whatever. So I'm going to go ahead and test this little...

little little breast milk out. All right. That's a big sip, bro. Yeah. Ugh. No! Come on, dawg. He's joking.

He's joking. It's got to be something else. But I gotta read... I gotta read Nutrition Facts on that one. Wait a minute. Hey, that's shit. Here you go. Hold on.

No. Hey, that's shit. Here you go. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. I see why my baby... Ah.

My old lady pulled her breast out. Well, you know, I'm going to go back in. It is sweet. It's sweet. It's good. Yeah. I guess developmentally not good. You can drink too much breast milk.

You can drink too much. What the fuck are you doing? It says drink too much here. I didn't know. Hold on. You're such a liar. I switched it. I didn't know what it was.

Babe. I didn't know what it was. It says drink too much. Whoa. So describe what you're seeing. There's a big pile, like a mud hill. Just a mound of dirt and mud. And this guy is forcefully fisting it, it seems like.

Oh, and now he's lowering his speedo. And he is laying on the mud and the dirt. And he is thrusting it now. He's humping it. Where is this from? Oh my God. This is wild. There's people walking around.

I should point that out. This is an outdoor music festival. It is. It looks like Ari Shafir, doesn't it? It kind of does look like Ari. And it's also something that I think Ari would do. Oh, he's done. I respect it though.

I respect it. I respect this guy more than the breastfeeding lady. I do too. I do. I really do. He handled what he needed to do. Well, doesn't Ari go to Bonnaroo and stuff a lot? He does.

Ari would do this. Yeah. Ari would do that. It makes a lot of sense. Honestly, there's like a 45% chance that's Ari. Like we haven't punched in, I don't know. There is a chance. I do.

I mean, I've never seen this before where somebody digs a hole in the dirt and then they put their penis in it. I mean, I don't imagine the friction is enough. How do you know you're digging? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of slippery though because it's like, it looks like mud. So it's probably like kind of, you know what I mean? Oh, so it fits around.

Do you think this pile of sand looks lubricated? Could be. No? Mm-mm. I'm not seeing it. Maybe. I thought it was kind of wet. Is it not wet?

That looks wet to you? Yeah, from here. I don't have glasses on. Okay. No, no, no, no. That looks like a really dry pile of sand. Oh, so it probably hurts his penis to hump dry sand. He looked pretty satisfied to me.

He seemed happy. Have you ever rubbed dry sand on your penis like that? No. I mean, I... But also, like, how worked up is he? Maybe he's backed up for a couple weeks, you know? And he's just... He was like, I gotta fuck.

Like, he saw these people walking around. He's like, no one's gonna fuck me here. Let's just go fuck that hill. It's so amazing. Yeah. And then broad daylight. Human beings are amazing. Not humans, men.

Men. True. Men are amazing. That's what I meant to say. Let's make the distinction here. Men are amazing. Women, not so much. You would never see a woman dig a dildo.

Because women are stupid and they don't invent things. They're not, you know, innovators. Okay. Women should clean up properly. Yes, they should. What did she say? Don't drink tap water. Unprompted.

Unprompted. Yes. Yeah. It's true. Will you save that clip for Drew? I would like to show him the guy fucking a sand hole. Yeah. You got it.

Yeah. Yeah, people are unbelievable. I used to hear of a guy who had a mattress and then he would put a peanut butter sandwich in between the, you know, we have two mattresses, a box frame, and he put a sandwich there and then he'd fuck the sandwich. And that to me seems a better idea than sand. Why does that seem like a better idea? It's softer, maybe lubricated, like we were saying, a maybe more hospitable environment

to the penis than a sand. That's true. What would you prefer to? A peanut butter sandwich or a pile of dirt? Is that what you're asking me? Yeah. Yeah, I'm asking you that. But hold on.

Let's do a scenario check. But here's a diff. Okay. You're really fired up. You're so fucking horny. Okay. Like a horniness you've never known. Okay.

You've got two options. You do what this guy is doing in the dirt. You do what our ages did or I give you the sandwich and you do the sandwich in the between the mattress scenario, but with an audience. We sell tickets and people get to watch you fuck the sandwich. The other scenario is just what? The dirt? Yeah.

I don't want to sell tickets to it. If you don't mind. Okay. What if I don't make it for profit? What if it's just a charity fuck? You're doing it and then just strangers can walk in and see you doing it in this hotel. No. I'll pass.

Cool. Are we done? Can you walk me through your logic a little? I don't want people to come see me fuck a sandwich. But they're seeing you fuck the sand hole. That's different. I mean, they're just passing by and I mean, if they come and watch me fuck a sandwich in the hotel room, it feels a lot more intimate.

It's like, I'm, I want you know, this is like people are going to go, you know. If you had to choose what kind of sandwich to fuck, what type would you choose? Pastrami? No. Why? No. You said that so fast. That's not going to feel good.

Talking about. I don't want to fuck a pastrami sandwich for everybody. But it looks like more like a vagina than any other meat source. Anything? Hmm. Yeah, a little bit. You know what this actually looks like? I know I'm looking at it again.

This kind of looks like the, the, I feel like this is like the Rat King, like Theo's video with this guy has a similar look. Yeah, I could be him. Was this road rolls? Was this road rolls? What season was he road rolls? Eight or seven? This is when they took it to the dirt.

He needs to have his midget next to it. Road rules seven. Take it to the dirt. What was his, what was he, he's like, he does like a macho man thing. He's like, hey brother. So, ugh. Yeah. Rick wouldn't even have to pull out the turkey slicer.

That shit would just, you roast it from the top. But he looks like he, he needs to eat that turkey because he's low in iron. Man. He looks. T-cell counts about seven. You need to fucking eat some vitamins, bro. Yeah. Before you come talk shit to Rick.

This shit is over. Over. All right. What else we got here? Hi, I'm Christina from Bearville Jewelers and I got to be one of the lucky ones to test this space shield out in a store. It's comfortable. It's lightweight.

We can move in this. They are protected. We're protected. So stupid. This is a, a jeweler. Jeweler. It looks like her name is Christine, like mine. Hi, I'm Deborah and I was very lucky to be chosen to come and shop today.

I actually had a great experience. The shield made me feel very comfortable. As a mother of three, when I go out shopping, I'm so afraid that I'm going to get the virus and give it to my children. But after this experience, I feel great about shopping again. Wow. What a positive message. Looks great.

Thank you. Wow. It looks normal. Wow. Dude, you have to see this fucking thing. It looks so good. I'll take it. It looks like, like a, they cut up a sandwich container from a grocery store and like taped

it together on her chest and face. And she has to wear a harness to wear it. Do you see that Tommy? Yeah. It's looking like a back brace. It's not light. I doubt it. It's terrible.

That's terrible. I'd rather get Rona than wear that fucking dumb thing. Oh my God. That's so embarrassing. Yeah. I would definitely rather never shop again. I know. They're like, this is the option you have.

Let me tell you, when I worked at Starbucks, there was a rumor that they were going to make us wear hair nets. I was like, nah, dude, I'm going to fucking quit before I wear a fucking hair net as a barista. This shit is, this is so humiliating. This is way worse than the hair net even. Yeah. No.

And she's wearing a mask and the shield. You don't think that's overkill? It's a bit much, but that's how much they want you to come by shit at their store. They're like, we will overkill this so that you feel safe. Oh wow. That's definitely what's going on. Yeah. Yeah.

Jeez. But did they send out the email to black lives matter? Well, they hired a black lady to be in the commercial. That's true. They're on the right team. They're like, will you come? As long as they're signaling the right thing. Will you be the one?

Will you be black and shop here for our commercial? We support. Can you tell how much we care? We care a lot. So I finally finished the Garth Brooks doc. Cool stuff. Slick stuff. Neat stuff.

Let me tell you now that many people may have seen this one in originally air because people were talking about it like it's new. It's not new. It's new on Netflix, but it did air last year on A&E, I think. So I remember seeing little snippets of it last year. I didn't watch it. So I just finished it and I thought he cried a lot after episode one. Oh no.

More tears? Dude. I fell asleep. I couldn't watch it. It's unbelievable. Have you finished it? It is unbelievable how much this guy cries. I'm not kidding you.

He cries about everything that he brings up. He literally cries about... Does any of it feel justified? Yeah. I mean at part like, look, I'm not saying like, you know, crying is healthy. Some things make you emotional and you cry. It's a little off-putting that you're like, everything makes you like, he talks about growing up and being, you know, when he reminisces about family life, cries.

Talks about his dad. Any time he talks about his dad, cries. Any time he talks about his mom, cries. Talks about writing a song, cries. Talks about his children, cries. Talks about his wife, cries. Talks about what a fan interaction was like, cries. Talks about being on this tour, cries.

Talks about not being sure how the tour would go, cries. It was a huge success, cries. Talks about the Hall of Fame, cries. I mean, it's just, it's every single thing makes you cry. I mean... He's very... I didn't realize how in touch he was. I didn't know he was that emotional.

I really didn't. I will give him props on something. I think, honestly, I think he's a wonderful father. Like... Really? Yes. Well, if you watch it, you go like, he's a really, really great dad. Why?

What? I mean, you could just tell that he really adores his daughters, they interview the kids and you could tell that they genuinely love him. And, you know, when he retired after this massive tour, it was late 90s, early 2000s. And he was like a huge, you know, at the peak of his career and things were going sideways at home with his wife, his first wife and kids. So he moved to Oklahoma and he didn't work, like didn't tour, didn't record for 14 years just to raise his kids.

Wow. And so the parents divorced and they saw their kids, they lived in the same town. The kids would switch houses every night. They talk about it in the special, but their whole thing was that the kids would see both parents every morning and every night. So what happened was if they spent the night at the mother's house, dad would pick them up in the morning for, so they would get up, have breakfast, he would come in, they would eat and then he would take them to school.

And then after school, since they'd spend the night at the mom's house, they would come to his house and the mom would come for dinner. Oh, that's cool. So they would have dinner together and they would spend the night and the next morning the mom would pick them up and they would do the same thing. So every morning and every night they would have both parents. That's really special. That's very sweet.

Taking 14 years off the career, that's got to be hard on the ego too. For sure. Especially for men. They're really... And then he talked about, they were wondering how, when he announced his tour, his first tour back, they were like, well, who knows if they'll still buy tickets. Oh, right. So there's that.

It had been over a decade and a half and they announced the tour and it was bigger than ever before. It was better. Wow. See, now I've got to watch the rest of it. It's a fascinating story. But here's the thing. I do find him to be so bullshit that that's my problem.

There's so much inauthenticity in him. I just, I want to know the truth. I want to know the real, real and I don't know that he's telling me the truth. You have to watch it to decide if he's telling the truth. Now, I would say an interesting analysis with Dr. Drew. We talked about it in further depth on Dr. Drew After Dark. He brought up, can you bring up what we were watching and that Drew noticed which was fascinating. So he had a different perspective on what's going on and I think it's really interesting.

And now that you say the crying thing, it kind of makes more sense. Really? Yes. The crying thing is so intense. It's usually, I feel like you would watch a show like this and one of those things I brought up would make you cry. Maybe talk about your children or your parents who are no longer here. I get that.

Yeah. You know? This is from the show. So Drew noticed, he goes, look at that, look at his jowls, right? Like he's got some jowls here and then he goes, pull up a younger picture of Garth and we looked up a younger picture of Garth and he doesn't have these jowls. Yeah. Okay?

Yeah. And look at his eyes. Okay? They're not very clear. They're kind of alcoholic-y eyes, would you say? And Drew's theory is that he's drinking a lot. Have you looked at his belly? Or before?

Well, now he's been drinking for years. He thinks that he's got a drinking thing. Well, he talks about his mother having a drinking problem. So there you go. He might have inherited, which would make sense. Like he's sad. I mean, look how sad he is. What I, and Drew's interpretation was from that prism of alcoholism, maybe repressing

a lot of emotions. And then when somebody, what are you laughing at? No, no, no. Yeah, I'm just listening. Someone sits down and asks you, like, maybe nobody asks Garth about this kind of shit in his life. You know what I mean? Sure.

And then we do like an interview like this and it all comes up because he's been stuffing this shit down for years. Yeah, he wants to. He wants to have these conversations. Right, because I don't know if anybody in his life is really having these, look, Trish is eating her feelings. We know that. So he's probably doing the same, you know, they're not, these two are not good with

feelings. Put it that way. Yeah. So. Yeah. Did he and Trish have kids too or just kids from the first year? Yeah. Okay.

He has three daughters. Yeah, so. She was real cute, by the way. Trisha. When he met her and like they showed the photo, she was really cute. And then they stopped having feelings. Oh, that's not Trisha. That's the first wife, right?

Yeah. Yeah. He likes blond. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it could be alcohol. He's drinking. That's what Drew is.

Really? Yeah, I believe it. It would make sense. Like, you know, he's got a lot of sadness and he's got a dark side that he's not embracing. Remember that whole Chris Gaines alter ego thing? They talk about that. You got to watch it, dude. You got to watch it.

Well, I know. I will. I will. I know. I keep falling asleep at night. I'm so tired by the time I go to lay down with you at night. Yeah. Um, anyways, interesting stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Can we watch some TikTok? Just hold on a second. Geez. You always want to rush right to the docks. Well, I do love them. They are my passion in life.

It's more about, are you ready to eat? Check this out. So I ordered Buffalo Wild Wings Mango Habanero and it's super, super hot. And I can't wait to try the poop, the feces, the shit that I dump out and eat it and taste it to see if it's still super, super hot. So for those of you who don't already know, I love to use this example of eating my feces to test out my theories of what is the ego and how I can further suppress it. So if you have any questions, definitely visit my website at IamDung.com to discover more

intriguing stories and comments and videos of what I love to do, which is eat my own shit. No, suppressing her ego. She's trying to, it's a spiritual quest. Can you pull up that website on your computer just to see what comes up there? IamDung.com. It's pretty cool. But she does raise a good point.

What's up? I'm just seeing some of these thumbnails and it is quite worrying. What's the worrying part? She has a mud mask on? Yeah, that's a type of mud. Okay. Well, she is doing a good job killing her ego, I think. Yeah.

Well, and also I'm curious to know. I thought you were talking about the ego, like the ecosystem. Oh, I thought ego. No? Okay. It's spiritual. Okay, I didn't hear it clearly. I'm wondering, I mean, this is what the great spiritual leaders did that you ruined the

ego. Is eating Dung good for you? It doesn't hurt. Really? It can't hurt. Remember, we've learned this. It's not good. What'd you say?

Doesn't help. Well, but I wonder if her theory is correct that when you eat spicy, it makes your poo spicy. I wonder if that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Now I got to know. Okay.

I don't know. I'm kind of fascinated that somebody would do this. I mean, oh, okay. Oh boy. That's interesting. She's so happy. She really is. What does it say underneath?

Like is there an article? Yeah, what does she say? I've been inundated by messages and letters wanting to learn more about my psychedelic substance trips and fascination with Dung. This is making a lot more sense. I want to clarify some things with respect to what many of you are categorizing as a ridiculous eating disorder in need of a mental evaluation. I would ask you to please study my materials and compound them into a critical analysis

supportive of an author's authorization worthy of scientific religious health related report. When you do this, you will discover this is not my personality. I don't have an eating disorder or a mental breakdown. What I know and have learned is the extent. Okay. Man is always. Ain't nobody got 10,000 out of 10s like me. Not sense in drugs, but I end something something's wrong.

Me too. I think you're right. Don't interrupt the problems at all. Yeah. I think this is a mentally ill person. I think we can close our tab now. Case closed. Yeah.

I don't even need if we need Dr. Do we need Dr. Drew? I think we got it. I think we got it. But that chicken wing does look tasty and I hope she enjoyed it. Yeah. And I can't kill you.

The poop. The feces of shit. No bitch. Yeah. All right. You ready to shift into some fun? Yeah. I heard you bitches was looking for me.

Bitch here I go. All right. I haven't seen these in a minute. So let's see what's up with your talks. New lanes have come about since the pandemic and recent changes in our world and it's fascinating. The talk is the pulse. Part two if you're going to fall in love with me and I'm doing this on my own vision. So part two is do you really think you can deal with my tiktok life?

Do you think you can deal with my daughter's life? My walls are up. I'm hard to break down. I'm not going to play any fucking games with anybody. All right. I don't do drama and I never will. This is part two of if you fall in love with me. You have to deal with the fact that I run my own detail business and wrench on cars and

that I am a fucking natural flirt. Not something I can change but I'm always going to come home to you. I'm never going to lie or cheat on you. This is part two. I hope this makes sense. I love you. Amazing. That's an amazing find.

Thank you. Thank you. Yes. He did point out that you have to deal with my tiktok life and then later my daughter. Right. These walls are up. Mine and Maya my daughter. These walls are hard to break down.

Wait and I like how he kind of burfs in his own mouth at the beginning. He's like and he didn't go. I should take that one from the top. Part two. If you're going to fall in love with me and I'm doing this on my own vision. So part two is do you really think you can deal with my tiktok life? So part two is do you really think you can deal with my tiktok life? You really think you can deal with my tiktok life.

Wait he doesn't even acknowledge it. No. He just talks through the burp. Yeah. That's really drunk. And this is you realize too that the message is to potential suitors. All right. Do you want to look at me?

It's probably chicks out there who are like hmm that's pretty cool the way you belch in your mouth and kept talking in that video about it. Me. All my stomach hurts. Yeah. I like that. You know what I like about this talk is the subtlety is those little things like that. He's not aware of anything which really helps to deal with his tiktok life.

What does that even mean? So a big thing on the talk is where people have partners that don't understand that they might like to do it with other talkers. That they are on the talk and that they might get DM'd or hit up by potential other people. By the way I love like I'm a natural flirt and that's not going to change. He's a natural flirt. Yeah. I'm a flirt.

I'm a flirt. I'm a flirt. Hey guys this is what I tell you I'm not gay I love my fiance so much. Now what we call in the FBI is a tell. You know sometimes people they say a statement but then they have a tic. Now I don't know him. I don't know what his baseline is but if someone goes I'm not gay I'm a fiance I love her so much.

And then they like have a tic it's probably not true. That's not necessarily true. A statement before the tic. No. I mean people have I mean it could be his nose itch. Yeah. We'll watch it again. Hey guys this is what I tell you I'm not gay I love my fiance so much.

I move and then. No. Okay. I just thought it was pretty standard. I think it's still interesting in and of itself. I wouldn't say that it's necessarily a tell. Okay. That's it.

Well here's the thing is that it makes you wonder what's the motivation behind posting. I'm not wondering. A talk like this like he's an attractive young man do you think he'd want girls to find him attractive. He answers no to post this on the talk you've really got not you don't not think about pussy at all. At all. Or dick.

Right. What are you thinking of. He's probably thinking like I take pretty impressive shits and people need to see it. I'm guessing but this is a rare find in of in a king ass ripper sort of lane. Yeah. The guy that posts this for the world to see is pretty special. He's unique. I love it.

I knew you'd like him. I love it. I knew you'd like this one. Yes. Yeah. Showing you stacks. Oh. Missing it.

You're missing a ton. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Hey girls. Tiktok. And Instagram.

It's Tony Sopranos. The best looking guy in the world. Nobody they're looking at me from Fairlawn, New Jersey. Wow. Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. He took a bunch of ones and he wrapped it in a Honda.

How'd you guess. You also love that he like he's like this will get them to laugh. Yeah. Just money. Show him the money. Because women need to pick up unprompted. I mean. Yeah.

He's a cool, cool guy. He's really cool. He picked a good angle for his face too. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's all flattering. And you know what I really. What women generally really respond to.

What. I have money. I like it. I have money. I like your puss. I'm shirtless. I'm in shape. Yeah.

Everybody loves a good tongue wag. They really get you in there. And he also went. At one point. He was like. Really. Let's look at Italian. Oh.

This is an update. Hey y'all. Someone explained this tattoo process. The first time they did it. They did a frosting to kind of get the top layer of skin. Then they just go deeper. And deeper into the skin. By turning it up.

This last time was 5.5. And I don't know. What happened. But it really got to me. And they're going to crank it up to 6.0. A lot deeper. And if I see out in the sun. You can see how much it's really faded.

Oh. I mean it's. You can see skin in a lot of spots. I mean. Yeah. You can see skin. You can see some skin on my nose. That's exciting.

Some spots. I mean. It's getting there. Love y'all. So that was an update from our Juggalo guy. He had the face tats. And things are really moving along. You can barely see those dark shaded black bars on your eyes.

Around your mouth. On your nose. You can see skin now. This one made me real sad today. Do you see the progress? But you can see better in the sun. It does look better around his mouth. I will say it does look lighter in his chin there.

Yeah. That looks. That does. Right now I'm like oh did you just do your first procedure. Right. Was that day one. He's like no I've been going for about. 16 weeks.

Yeah. No this is. Yeah. A year. Six months. No. He's got a long way to go. But bless his heart because.

He must have been so into drugs before. He really must have been so into drugs. Oh. Oh. Yeah. It's going to keep hurting. He was like that really got to me. And they're going to dial it up.

Why isn't he just growing. He should just grow out a beard. Oh that's not a bad idea. Because then you only have to do the under the eyes. Above the eyes. The eyebrows. Above the eyes. The side cheeks.

The tip of the nose. The tip of the nose. Then you've got all just all that stuff to do. He walks around every day like this. That's the thing. We watch him for 10 seconds. I know. This motherfucker gets up.

And probably forgets sometimes you know. I'm sure you forget like he'll walk down the street. And he's like oh there's a fucking coffee place. Walks and hey can I get. And then he sees people go like. I mean he has to be like oh yeah my fucking face. I did all this shit to my face. Yeah.

You know I had a dream last night. And this is a reoccurring dream I have. That I'm covered in tattoos. Yeah you've mentioned that. I've had this so many times. I think it's because you're so deep in the world of TikTok. That it's really the talks. Speaking to you.

Well it might be because I found some really crazy shit lately in the world of tattoos and piercings and things. Yeah. But I and I dreamt that your your sisters were making fun of me. For my tats. And then I got blackout drunk. And yeah it was really neat. Yeah.

But there were shit tattoos like tribal. The bands. You know. Yeah. It was really bad. Can I fucking help you? Yes. Fuck off fat ass.

Go work out instead of supporting Trump. Disgusting. That's a sign for hate. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Fuck off. Do you want me to cough on you? Because I will.

Fuck ass. What I do with my stimulus check. I pay my fucking bills the fuck. Fuck Trump. He's a bitch. Just like you. Go fuck yourself. Fuck Trump.

Fuck Trump. Fuck Trump. Fuck Trump. Fuck Trump. Go fuck yourself. That guy though next to her he's like do you really have to do this all the time? I know. Shut the fuck up.

Can you just let him roll by? Yeah. Shut up. Like she's such an asshole. Every guy's been out with someone like that. You know. Every guy was like Jesus Christ. Well because that girl's never been in a fight before.

Exactly. Like she's never been hit. So she's like she doesn't know that she can get hit. Yeah. That's the problem. She's like if this fucking bitch gets off her wheelchair you're fighting her. Yeah. I'm not going to beat up this old lady.

Well the neatest part about this whole video is how did they get to these are two fat people on motorized scooters and they're on the beach. They're on hilarious. Yeah. It is a hilarious setting because they're. How do you get that on the beach. They're wildly obese. They're on motorized carts with Trump flags and an American flag.

Yeah. So weird. 180 pound people and they're just like rolling down. I don't know how they got down. And then what are you doing. Yeah. What are you like. Why are you.

She's like. Did you get your stimulus check. What did you do with your stimulus check. Did you spend it. Yeah. That's what pumped at you. I know. It's so weird.

Whole thing. Cool talking point. Begin your stimulus check. Spend that money. Make me. What a fucking pig world. Wonderful world. Pig on wheels.

I would be so embarrassed to to ride in that motorized scooter. If it if the reason I was had to use one is because of my own fatness. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah. I don't think I could go out in that thing. Aren't you embarrassed. Yeah.

You can't even walk. I just wouldn't go outside. I would just stay in sight and get so fat and just die on my couch. Like I wouldn't even want to go to the beach. You know. Me. Me.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. So crazy. To pump any of your money. God. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So crazy.

To pump any of your money. Yeah. God. Yeah. I'm bored. I want a boyfriend so I can have somebody to talk to. And then we can go dancing. No we can't go dancing.

No way. Oh. Wasn't she cute. I don't know. That's such a sweet old person thing to say. I know. I want to go dancing with someone. I know.

Nobody does. No one does that. Like let's go dancing. That's another by the way. It reminded me. Yeah. About his cool flirting technique. Yeah.

One time I remember I made the mistake of I was talking to him. I was in college and I go. You know. You know you have like your own thing where you're like this is things I share and these are things I don't. And then I just let my guard down. I was like yeah you know I went out with this girl but then I whatever I just didn't call her and now I regret it and you know it's been a while and blah blah blah.

Like I just shared with him and he's like well why don't you call her and I go for what do you mean tell her you know I go what would I say and I call her and say you know I think you're a nice gal and I'd like to take you out and you know and he's like go dancing I'd like to see you again. I was like give me to say that. Well say it how you want to say it. I go you're a nice gal and I'd like to take you to do the Jitterbug. He's like yeah.

Okay thanks for the advice man. I would like that. You can take me out to do Jitterbug. You want to go dancing? Yeah. You can go dancing. No dancing. How's Linda?

Have you ever seen Linda? But how is Linda? This is the old person batch? Yeah I just think the elderly are an untapped font of hilarity and you know tiktok doesn't want you to laugh at the elderly. I know. They don't I think they're just a wonderful resource. She yelled that into her ear.

That's Linda as she went. That's fucked up. You can't even hear stuff when you're that old. That's the worst part. I'm not on drugs. I'm drinking yeah. I got my beer right over there. I don't see a problem with that.

I'm 35 years old and I work my butt off. Yeah. But I can't stand these people in here talking about people. Yeah. My favorite is I'm not on drugs. I am drinking but I can't because I'm 35 years old. Tom don't you get it? Yeah.

She's 35. She looks good. 35 killer years so far. So for anyone who has never seen snap in dentures on mini implants I will show you what it looks like when I take them out. This is how they look in. Okay. They look good.

You snap them right out. These are the O-rings that snaps into the mini implants right there. They look like kind of like piercings. I have six on the top four on the bottom and I need to snap them back in. So I can take them out and clean them myself. I just take them out after I eat every day but I sleep with them in every night and they look like 24 seven and I love this shit out of them. They look great.

They look great. They look great. That's amazing. She looks very pretty. Yeah. She's very pretty. So I don't know if there's a history of drug use and maybe she had to have her T3 done but.

Yeah it could be something else. Get them. I don't know medical. Yeah. But they look really amazing and I just thought that was interesting to see how they snap in. I didn't know that. I've never seen that.

And they look nice. Yeah. Princess glitter head. Yeah. All right. She looks good. That's great. Okay.

So we needed two videos apparently. So I'm getting it removed by invisible ink tattoo removers in Carmel Indiana and then to add on to the dysphoria situation. I am not too proud to admit that sometimes people do things in haste and I was in a different mindset when I did this tattoo. I don't hate it per se. It's just not doesn't fit with what I'm doing further in life and you know if I had to do over again that was able to transition years ago or more than eight I probably I wouldn't

have done it obviously. I'm doing it in conjunction with other facial feminization surgeries like lip augmentation. I can't say lip today lip augmentation cheek implants forehead and bow shave and lift. Chin reconstruction etc so yeah one life to live and I'm living it as best as I can. So well thanks for bringing this one to light Jesus Christ this one is insane. So this person is transitioning to a female so he's got you know gender or trans stuff and then the face is tattooed his tongue is bifurcated and the nose means cut in half and then it looks like there was a plug in the side of the nose.

It's an enormous and now it's a hole yeah those don't close up what we learn from Drew. So if you get plugs and stuff and you stretch out that skin it doesn't it never never shuts so think twice about getting that stuff yeah isn't that gnarly oh and his eyeballs are tattooed red the whites of his eyes are red which you can't see here. This poor this poor soul can we look at the next one why are y'all so worried about my why y'all so worried about my god damn teeth worry about your life bitch yeah well we're worried because you're young and attractive and you can probably look a lot better if you had teeth you know you're too young.

Fuck yeah we're sexually attracted to people with dark personality traits evidence suggests that men and women are sexually attracted at least in the short term to potential partners displaying psychopathy narcissism and Machiavellianism and the trait that had the most effect on attraction was psychopathy in some cases a man's physical attractiveness to women was increased when he was described as self-interested manipulative and insensitive and physical attractiveness is often automatically associated with a host of other positive traits what psychologists call the halo effect when we perceive somebody is physically attractive we automatically assume that they're also kinder smarter and more confident combining physical attractiveness

with confidence and humor is even more effective and it appears that people with more exploitative personalities are more successful at this as well there you go that's why I'm attracted to you which leads me to this email I received a while back hi Christina I think Tom has Asperger's I think that because Tom and I are very similar and I have Asperger's yes that's a form of autism it's also hereditary and very important to be diagnosed early that being said it might also help Tom understand himself better all I ask that you take me seriously and look into it I'm not going to link anything anyway do your own research I implore you this is because you're laughing at the stuff that's violent the the man getting

his legs crushed video yeah this gentleman says you might have a mild Asperger's yeah I don't think so I don't think that that guy knows what the fuck he's talking about he has Asperger's so he's diagnosing you hmm because I laughed at a video just something to consider okay I'll talk to my doctor about it hey doc a guy sent an email yeah okay you think I'm Asperger's no I know somebody who's we both miss a couple people for sure yeah there's a few people no I don't think you're Asperger's I do think you enjoy I think there's a little bit of unchecked cruelty and anger in you that society hasn't squashed and you like to watch it like you you've tapped into the darkness inside of you you look like you're

going to kill me right now no no I was listening I mean I just think that you enjoy the dark side of the force a little in yourself and you're not ashamed of it that's true and I don't know if that's a fault I don't think it's a bad thing I don't think so I just because I enjoy these and these are pretty fucking dark yeah I remember right you know I gave a speech when I was in high school that if somebody is bothersome to you you can just kill them hmm and it was in the it was a speech contest and I got to the finals oh wow and then when I gave the speech at the finals it was in front of a lot of people and there was a little more eyeballs kind of looking around yeah I still have that speech why don't

you read it I should I should grab it yeah please I'm curious to hear I love to hear that yeah it was like straight up you should just murder people all the time and did you give like a good argument what was your I was just like when people are the gist of it was basically if I was 15 or 16 yeah I basically said you know people always complain about this person and that person this person makes me feel badly this person's in the way this person is stopping from getting a promotion I go you could just kill them you know and then I just gave all that I go there's so many different ways you can kill people right so I just started talking about you know you could poison people stab them shoot them hit

them with a car beat them with a pipe you know ties something to him drown like I just gave all this for like public speaking public speaking class yeah yeah and that's funny I mean that's a good and how long was the speech I don't know like three minutes five minutes maybe something like that yeah so you're what I was amazed with was like the first teacher that saw me give it in that first class was laughing hysterically yeah and he was like I'm supposed he was supposed to pick I think one maybe one or two people to go to the next round and then when he told me he was like you're definitely I was like and he was like yeah so then I went to the next round and did it and then they're like you're in the finals now the finals was in front of the entire school

all the teachers everybody and the kid in front of us the kid who went in front of me was a see I was a sophomore he was a senior and he explained what E equals MC squared means oh right so he's like E equals MC squared is yeah often thought like what does that actually mean I still remember his name was Josh Robinson he gave that speech and then they're like okay and he explains it and I got up there and I go wasn't Josh's speech boring good for you and then I was like here's my speech yeah you guys are all lucky to be alive wow a young Tom Segura you're spreading his creative wings yeah who knew that would be the foundation for your comedy basically which is like oh everyone sucks I'm normal I wish I could kill everyone basically yeah yeah oh wow that's so interesting now

we got full circle because that's what I was saying like you enjoy that part of your mind yeah that society puts a chokehold on and doesn't let you act out on that's the whole part of being socialized is that you don't say or do things like right right you're not no I wonder why you don't I know why why I'll tell you later okay there's one last one ready yeah last one make no mistake better not come near my wife yeah her mother and I don't get along but I will defend what is mine and what is dear to her god I feel like you would make a talk like that for me yeah would you do that that guy reminded me of I'm looking for girls for pussy yeah would you defend my honor I would defend your honor just like that shirtless laying down my wife I'm gonna defend her honor

yeah cool yeah good this was a lot of fun today yeah it was a good time I had a really good time thank you guys yeah for watching for listening please check out merchmethod.com slash Tom Segura also I will shortly be announcing I think perhaps a return to the stage oh my god I'm very excited about I'm just waiting on confirmation before I I'm Pauline I'm by I want a fluid bond with Jesse and I hope you guys will come watch I'm excited about that and I know it should be fun thank you guys for listening we'll be back next week all right Rudy bye jeans bye hi how do you think your dad picked up Charles well you got to get the conversation hey buddy hey buddy how you doing

pick this great kids she's playing rich pick this great kids this is my entertainment salt or pepper meat or fish what's your favorite solo what are you talking about that's a one no you got to get the conversation my mom showed me how those big tits are I didn't even think of that option show me how those big tits are hard tits my wife's boobs are so big her boobs got too big

well you got to get the conversation this is great kids pick this great kids great kids tits tits tits tits tits great kids she's playing rich tits I have to say like father likes son

tits tits great kids tits this is my entertainment salt or pepper meat or fish what's your favorite solo what are you talking about this a one conversation I'm showing how those big tits are I didn't even think of that option show me how those big tits are hard

my wife's boobs are so big her boobs got too big well you got to get the conversation pick this great kids pick this great kids you're the queen of the toilet queen of the toilet you're the queen of the toilet

queen of the toilet you