Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 559 - Russell Peters - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

SPONSORS: - Squarespace: Go to Squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain - Shady Rays: Use Code "HOUSE" for 50% off 2 or more pairs at ShadyRays.com - Buy One, Get One Free. - Hims: listeners can get their first visit absolutely free! Go to forhims dot com slash mom. That’s forhims.com/mom. - Stamps: Get a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Go to Stamps.com, click the micriphone at the top of the homepage and enter MOM - Policygenius Home: see how much you can save by re- shopping your home insurance rates at Policygenius.com. - Brooklinen: Use promo code mom for 10% off your first order at Brooklinen.com You gotta get it goin' bud! Tom Segura and Christina P kick off this episode of YMH with a video of a woman who really needs to brown. They discuss the latest instance of Nadav doing bad, Bert Kreischer's kool-aid intake, how often Dr. Drew gets milked, and their recent trips to the dermatologist. They watch a vintage English commercial for a questionably-named product, a very strange Instagram live-stream, a dude eating nails, a cool talking about his success with women, an English lesson on slang words, a cool guy who collects mousepads, and a follow-up from everyone's least favorite bearded lady. The main mommies also play a game where they watch some of the most intense videos on the internet, which naturally leads them to call Dr. Drew to discuss the potential health risks of eating brown. Russell Peters is a stand-up comedian, actor, and producer. Russell sits down with Jean & Jean to talk about Jiu Jitsu, rolling with Joe Rogan, partying at Eddie Murphy's house, hip-hop, and the controversy around Hank Azaria playing Apu on The Simpsons. They share the murder play video with Russell, as well as a DIY video on how to make jewelry out of human teeth, a cool girl rapping, and some of Mommy Tina's TikTok curations. Pierce Paris is a very strong performer and social-media creator. He joins the mommies on the couch to discuss his iconic video that Tim and Crystal have been obsessed with. He discusses how he prepared for that video, his other Twitter stunts, how he started a viral challenge, and eating bear scrum. He also gives us a walk-through his prep process and reviews RPC's premium content.

What's up there Chomos? It's another episode of your mom's house with Christine and Todd. We're happy to be here with you. You know what it is. We got so many things. This is a really loaded episode. So many hot topics. There's hot topics. There's hot videos. There's videos that will make you laugh. And I think there are a few that will make you unsubscribe. So this episode has got everything. Great guests. Great clips. Talking points. Oh, the guests. I mean I have never been so excited to show up to work today.

If you can even call this work. If you can call this work. It is amazing what we have going on. This video in particular has brought me so much joy this week. I have sent it to all my friends. I asked Zolo for the MP4 of it immediately after we played it last week and I've been enjoying it on a loop privately with you, with everybody in my contacts. It's been a real game changer. Really has been. We'll get in. We should just open the show and then we can get into some of the meat of the topics I want to talk about.

All right. So ready? I'm ready. Let's do it. Anyway. Oh my God! It's coming out! Oh, fuck me! Run it! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh, fuck you! Yeah. This shit is big time! Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this. Don't burn when the fuck is there! Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pajitz and Christina Pajitz. Welcome to your mom's house. So before we get into so many other things we have to cover.

Yes. So many hot topics. Hot topics. One of them is that we obviously have a very active YouTube channel where we release all the podcasts that we record here. And last night, miraculously, episode 557 disappeared. Yeah. When I last saw it, it had just a hair under half a million views. Oh, that's it, huh? It was a good episode. People seem to like it. A lot of engagement in the comments. And then it just was gone. So do you know what happened? I accidentally deleted it. How do you accidentally delete it? Because, you know, there was, so we upload the videos ahead of time, you know, and we

schedule it so that if YouTube flags anything, we have time to address whatever they flag. And hearing excuses coming already. And so, you know, we had to re-upload this week's episode with Taylor Tomlinson because we were adding something to it and I had to delete the ones that we previously uploaded. So I checkboxed the ones that hadn't released yet. Why the one? So you mean just the one? Well, no, because there's the normal YouTube version and then there's the channel member version. So I checkboxed both of the Taylor Tomlin episode or so I thought. And then I clicked a button that said delete forever. What? And then as it was doing it, it said, hey, you could go away from this page if you want

while we delete these videos. I'm like, oh, cool. And then I look down and I see that one of the ones that I deleted didn't have a zero in the view count. It had just under half a million. And I was like, oh, no. And I realized that I misclicked. So you just clicked the wrong box. I clicked the wrong box and I accidentally deleted last week's episode. But I immediately, I texted you letting you know what happened. And, you know, before you rained down on me, I do want to let you know that yesterday was one of the worst days of my life because of the anticipation of what's coming right now. Seriously? Does that make you feel good, though, at least to know that he's suffering?

Actually, you know, I didn't really have a thought about it, honestly. And then hearing, like you said, you didn't sleep. Yeah. I slept maybe two hours last night. Like I couldn't eat dinner. That's big for Nadal. He didn't eat good dinner. It happened right after lunch and I almost threw up. And then, I mean, you could ask Zolo, but like right afterwards, I was just like, hey, man, I need to go for a drive and calm down a little bit. I was gone for half an hour. Honestly, it does make me feel better. I was hoping he'd say that. Well, I was hoping because we have cameras in the studio, like security, that we could pull the footage. I know. That would be nice to see. I'd like to see the panic. Yeah. Yeah,

there definitely was panic. Can I get Zolo on here for a second? Sure. And especially for Nadal, not to eat his nightly dinner of wild wings. I know. With ranch. It's strange. Do you recall the moment he told you what he did? Yeah. And how was it? He was really distraught. He came out into the front and I was at my desk out there and yeah, he looked like he had done something real bad. He was like, he was nervous to even tell me, like, what's going on, man? What'd you do? He's like, I fucked up so bad. I fucked up so bad. What's up? What'd you do? He's like, delete the last week's episode. Gotta go take a drive, clear my mind. Yeah. But I'm glad that Nadav takes his job this seriously. Yeah. I like that it ruins his appetite. I like that it disturbs his sleep

because it means he cares about the show. He cares. Yeah. I always thought he cared, but I mean, that does make me like, him flogging himself so much makes me go like, oh, I don't need to. Yeah. Right. But if he was like, yeah, it's fine. It's back up. Then I'd be like, you know, I want to fucking drag you outside by your fucking teeth. Yeah. Well, that's true with you. Contrition is huge. Like, if I mess up with you, I find that I must lie, prostrate in front of you and flog myself. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. And then you smile and you forgive. Cool. Yeah. But if I'm not, if I'm not sad, you really dig in. That's true. Yeah. Well, so you reuploaded it, right? And we're good to go now with, I mean, it's obviously. Well,

it's not going to have the same view count. Well, the view counts obviously destroyed. There goes all that. Yeah. The view counts destroyed. And also on this upload, it got, it got flagged by YouTube. Oh, cool. Because it was the RPC one where we, but it, it had made it through that flagging system the previous time. The first time. Yeah. And then on the second one, it, it didn't make the cut. So. How are we going to punish him? I mean, I could make myself not eat. I mean, I probably will have trouble eating lunch today too. You could watch that. That's fun for you, right? So should we, everyone gets to order lunch but Nadav or do we order Nadav a salad and everyone else gets to eat

chicken wings? I won't be able to eat the salad. Like I don't think I normally wouldn't either, but I mean today. So what does that mean for that when it got reuploaded and flagged? It just won't, what, it won't get monetized or something? No, it is, it's limited ads and it'll be put in front of less people. But you know, for the majority of the views come, come during the first week. And so we got, we got that half a million. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is deleted forever. What's the punishment? He needs to be. I don't know, man. Now, I mean, now I'm starting to get irritated now. So I'd really like to move on. Wait, wait, what, what, what changed? The fact that you reuploaded it and it got flagged. And so now it bothers me, you know, like if you hadn't told

me that I was kind of in a good mood. Now I'm in a bad mood. But here's also something that's cool is that I'm so honest. I, you were the first, you were the first person that learned that I fucked up. I think I texted you before I even told Chris and Zolo. I was just like, oh, no, that's true. I do appreciate that. That is true. I really do. I really do. Like I appreciate Garth's a good dad, you know. Oh, okay. Oh, I see. I think we should make him wear a post-it that says, I am stupid. I checked the wrong box or something. Like, were you wearing the post-it? Today, a post-it note on your forehead that says, I'm stupid. I checked the wrong box. It's pretty aggressive. That way, you'll never do it again. Write the phrase, I'm stupid. I checked the wrong

box. So you'll never forget again. I don't know if I could get all of that, but I could write, I'm stupid on it. Yeah. I think that, is that good enough time? Would that make you feel better? I think I would actually prefer something like, I hate me. Well, I like, I hate me too. Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. You know what I mean? No, yeah, I think we could all agree with that. Okay. I hate me. Yeah. And on his forehead? Sure. Yeah. He's got a big forehead. It'll fit there. Now, we don't have a post-it. Just use tape. Yeah, we got tape here. Duck tape or a tack or something. And I don't know if my forehead looks good enough surface, but good news, I have glasses. Oh, that's true. What the excuse is.

You can do it on the side or something. Well, then you can't see. Yeah, maybe here. Put it on your headband up here. Maybe on the side where it hangs. On the side on your, yeah. How's that? Is this good? Can you see? Yeah, I like that. Good. Yeah. Okay. All right, we can move on now. Better? All right. Could you, could you not delete episodes that are coming out? You got the ones that are already up. You got it, Mr. Tom. Okay. So let's try to move on and have a fun episode anyways. Can we do it? It's kind of fun that the lady was taking an emergency shit. That just happened to me this week. It's coming out, but I don't make a scene. I just like, I'm usually too panicked to scream like that. Are you even

in a state to say something? No, I just, I had an emergency, like, you know, not this level, there's levels of emergency, but I had an emergency where I had lunch with Ellis, our oldest son, and was that a place? And I had it, it was a chicken dish. It was chicken in a, not a creamy sauce. Like I'm trying to explain, it'd be like if you had reduced a red sauce. So it's not as heavy, it's like liquidy. So it's just kind of, it feels like the chicken is marinating. Like a light tomato sauce. But yes, like a very light tomato. Sure. And it was really good. And then I went home. Did you have any carbs with it? Did you do like pasta? No, nothing. Just chicken. And then I went home and like, you know, I was fine. An hour later, about an hour later, I'm

working out. I had done some weights and now I'm hitting the heavy bag. And when I hit the heavy bag, I think like two rounds in, I fart. And when I farted, I was like, that smells rotten. You know, it wasn't like an, I was like, something's there, but I wasn't ready to shit. You know, when you fart, you're like, this smells really bad. Yeah. But I don't have to shit right now. But I know something, whatever's coming is bad. Right. It's a, it's like an omen. You know, it's coming. And I'll tell you this, it affected the rest of the workout. It was like I, I couldn't, I couldn't go full force. I was kind of like, what's, you know, this doesn't, you're tentative. Yeah. I was like, I just didn't feel like myself. And then I forgot about that

fart. I forgot about it. Sure. I don't know. You know, I go upstairs. I am having dinner. I have salmon, water. Salmon. Salmon. And I have some, I have some rice with it. Did you eat the veggies that I did with the salmon? No. So I was just, it had salmon and rice and I'm, I finished it. I'm like, that was great. Yeah. And then like 30 minutes later, I feel my whole like abdominal area just shift and like, it was like somebody had opened a valve and I just knew right away. I was, I was doing something with one of our kids and then I just, my head turned. I was like, oh, this is like this is upper level. Like it's not emergency. Like as in I have 10 or less seconds, but I got less than a minute. Yeah. You know, I was like, oh, you got to find a toilet right now.

And it was like, all my insides had been melted or something. It was a complete evacuation. Did it hurt or it just was like, no, I had a loosey-goosey. But it also made me go like, like when I was done with it, I was like, wow. It's like you need to eat a pop tart right away to replace the carbs and the sugar that you lost. Do you do that? No. It feels like the Burke School of Medicine though. What you need to do is you need to get a pop tart and then you replace all the carbs and sugar. I eat like six. But I do. I feel like a, a strawberry unfrosted will like set me straight after a nice rage of diarrhea like that. Yeah. Did you see, by the way, me lose my shit? I did. You watched the whole clip? No, not the whole thing. Dude, it's pretty much, it was so,

I actually, it was, it went, people got so into it, which I kind of thought they would. I was like, that's, that's probably a podcasting moment because it was so genuine. But I got to watch versions of it and, you know, people reposting it so much when it came out that it almost made me laugh as hard to watch it again. That's what I love about those hard laughing moments. First time, watching Four Strokes Guy with you. Amazing time. First time, Lung Infection as an instrument. Yeah, I was going to say that one's good. Yeah. He's like, hey, I did that. And the first Try It Out, the Trot Out. Yes. All those like made me laugh so hard. But I think, I think that was the hardest I ever laughed. Finding out that Bert drinks Kool-Aid. And he tries, he tries to drink

a gallon a day. Like, I don't know. It caught me. It made me laugh so hard because people are, the reason it makes me laugh so hard is because it's such, like, it completely summarizes who he is. You know what I mean? Like, it's such a on brand thing that of all the things you know, but that he's like, oh, I drink, I drink, I walk around with a half gallon of Kool-Aid. It's just childish. I try to knock down two a day. He thinks he's doing, he thinks he's hydrating. Yeah, yeah. But no wonder he can't ever truly lose weight. Oh, that's one of the things that everybody's talking about. Because he's like, I run 10 miles a day, but can't lose any weight. What are you eating? Well, I drink a gallon of Kool-Aid. Yeah, he goes, yeah, he was, he was clowning on people

who eat ice cream. He was like, he's like, you see a grown man eating ice cream. You know that that guy is out of control. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's shit on ice cream eaters. Oh my God. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it is on two bears, one cave, if you don't watch that regularly. And what episode number is it? Is it 36? At 36. I know if you go to the 15 minute mark, I've seen it so many times, like tagged in it. If you really want to see, I mean, I'm telling you, it is not a standard laughing fit. It is a complete breakdown, nearly needed to be hospitalized because I was laughing so hard. Well, I've always been surprised by what Bert has in his cup. Maybe we should play a game, What's in Bert's Cup. What's in Bert's Cup, yeah. Because one time he came over

at about 8.30 in the morning, I think it was earlier than that, to pick you up, to go to San Francisco for the day. And I was like, what are you drinking? Because he had a huge Styrofoam cup. Huge Styrofoam cup. Full of ice. And I was like, that's odd that you walk into somebody's home with that. Like one of those big ass 32 ounce Styrofoam cups. I mean, it was big. Yeah. And I'm like, what could he possibly pack with ice? He's got two dozen soda. Yeah, at eight in the morning. And I'm feeding our infant son. Breakfast. Breakfast. Everyone else's on breakfast. He's like, yeah, but we're about to fly. Yeah. Makes sense to him. I was going to have a coffee. I know. I know. He drank so much that day. He drank that. He was like, he had a 32 ounce

Tito's and soda. And then we went to the airport and we went to two bars at the airport to drink. And then we got on the plane and he drank the whole, like the whole flight, which was like two or three more. Then we got to the hotel. I was like, I have to go take a nap. But hold on. When you say the whole flight, the whole flight's 45 minutes. Right. So it's like the whole flight. He didn't stop drinking. Three drinks in 45 minutes. Yes. That's bananas. Here's the thing though. And this is the truth. He was fine. He's been fine. He was fine. He was so normal. And he was like, okay. Well, and then we went to the game. We drank at the game and then we had dinner and we drank at dinner. And then we got back and I was like, I'm going

to go to sleep. And he's like, dude, the night just started. Are we going to go like hang out? I was like, no. They have so much energy. How do alcoholics have so much energy? Oh, sorry. I mean, binge drinkers. How do they have so much energy? You think that that would deplete you, but they're relentless. Now, I would like to plug, if I may, I had a very interesting interview. I don't want to give away too much. Yeah. But may I direct you to where my mom's at on my YouTube page? I interviewed Dr. Drew's wife, Susan Pinsky. Yeah. And can I bring something up here? Yeah. He really is a chill, well adjusted dude. Yeah. And I think there's a reason why. What are you saying? I'm saying you might need to step up your

okay. I saw the clip. First of all, Dr. Drew's going to come on next episode. You guys are going to see him. We're going to sit him down and we're going to learn all of his secrets that are revealed on this where my mom's at interview with Susan. You're always telling me to calm down. What about, you know, I think he's going to die. I think there's no jazz left in him. I know. Let me tell you some. Dr. Drew fucks. A lot. A lot. And we're going to get into the details when we bring him in. BJ's. BJ's. I'm not even going to get into what they started doing when they were 50. It's on, it's a teaser on my Instagram at the Christina P. You can see a teaser for it there. Bananas. And I like him even more now. They're fantastic. They're such a great couple.

You have to understand, though, they weren't doing beaches and stuff when they had the kids were little like ours. She was like, we were barely doing it. It was when the kids grew up a bit. They could get back. You might want to start doing something stretching. You know. So stupid. I'm, hey, listen, I'm not going to take that abuse. You know why? Because I milked you a lot this week. No, I'm not complaining. I'm saying I watched that clip and I just think that, you know, there's more to do. I mean, I don't think that guy, I don't think his balls ever fill up. No. He's never. His balls are like, you guys ready to go to work? And then she goes

through. You think she just vapes that kind? I think so. I think she does. Three loads a day. Dude, that's how much that guy takes. It's really wild. Anyways, it's very interesting, really good week of podcasting you guys. Yeah. So much shit going on. So much going on. We did our doctor's appointments. You and I went to get our bodies checked. I went to the dermatologist. I wish we could have a dermatology update, you know, much like the dental update because it's so exciting to go to the dermatologist. I went to so many doctors. So what happened was we have the same physician for many, many years. You know him as Dr. Dick. I've talked about him in specials. We talked about him in podcasts. He's a very thorough doctor. I mean, such meticulous records.

He's the one that fingered you very hard. Fingered me very hard, but he's so meticulous. He's fantastic. Everything. And so I had a physical and he was like, I want you to follow up with like 35 other doctors. I know. And just have everything. Like, you know, like, look, I want your skin looked at. I know. It happens when you're 40. You have to start maintaining like every aspect. I still have more to go, by the way. Are you kidding me? Oh yeah. I have more appointments. Yeah. I have to see the orthopedist. I have to see, yeah, for the shoulder. Oh my gosh. By the way, for my shoulder, I was like, yeah, you know, he's like, yeah, just go to him and get the shot. And I was like, can I finish saying what's bothering me?

Doesn't care. And he's like, I go, so sometimes he goes, yeah, I heard you. Go get the shot. Okay. Like a cortis, a cortisone steroid. Yeah. He's like, I'll make you fine. You'll be there. You need a steroid. Yeah. So, oh, I went to, uh, so we don't want to have more kids. Right. We're done. Right. So, uh, I wanted to get a vasectomy. So he goes, um, he sends me to urologist. That guy playing with my balls. And then he's like, he's like, you got any common these balls? And then I was like, yeah. Then he kisses the tip and he goes, taste like it. Yeah. Taste the jizz in there. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? And he goes, this is what, this is how vasectomies are done. Well, and didn't he say too, after you get the

procedure that you need to bang out 20 loads, and then he has to taste every one of them to see if there's still sperm inside of those loads. And he's like, I have a very sophisticated palette. You never understand. What if that's how they did it? That is how they do it. What do you mean, what if? Like a real come dog is in there and this is Trish, the come dog. And then she's got to taste your jizz. Just like a really job. You know, that would be like a really cool job for an adult actress to get into. I used to do porn, but now I just work at a doctor's office and guys just shoot their loads in my mouth. I can tell. I can tell. Yeah. Give your load to Ashley and then she's on her knees and then you just give her your loads. Well, I went there

and then he goes, he's examining, he's playing with my balls and he's like touching me everywhere. You know, he's kissing me. So he's just, they examine your abdomen and then they go to like your pubic, like above your junk. Yeah. And he goes, oh, you have a hornia. What's a hornia? He goes, it's a hernia when you're super horny. I go, what the fuck? And he goes, yeah, if you're really horny, you get hernias. We call them hornias. That's not what he said. That's not what he said. Anyways, I have one. You have a hornia? I have a hornia. Yeah. A hyena, a little hyena and you have to get it taken care of now. Well, you know what? I've been like doing more research. Yeah. And there's some people that are saying that the level what I have, it's so small, it's not protruding,

it's not bulging, you don't see anything. They're like, you don't need to do surgery for that. Really? I'm going to go see a surgeon and get his advice. Well, and I'm sure there are other homeopathic things you can do. I'm not into that. Why don't you try urine therapy? Remember that girl that was drinking her pee? I'm just going to talk to a doctor and see what he thinks. What about humping sand? Like the guy did last... You could fuck sand. That could help. You could help. Yeah. Does that not work? I was trying to... So I went to dermatologist and the dermatologist said that she doesn't like how tan I am. Yeah. She said, I don't like how tan you were. You need to start wearing those rash guard things when you swim and they removed a mole. Isn't that exciting?

It was questionable. That is exciting. It is. Where was it? Right here. Oh, yeah. And you don't even feel it. She was not... And she looked everywhere and I went to the next day. Yeah, you saw the same lady. No, different lady, same office. Okay. But she told me that my skin was great, but she's like, but you're fat and that's gross. Yeah. Well, I showed her some moles on my tits and I go, oh, are these skin tags from pregnancy? And she's like, no, this is just from aging. You're just old. It's nice. No, I was like, that's cool. I'm like, should I get them removed? And she's like, no, you're married. Your husband probably doesn't give a shit. And I was like, that's nice. I know. Like, do people just say horrible shit to us? Like she examined every inch

of your body and I was like, how is it? And she was like, how's what? I was like, the skin that you're examining. Yeah. And she was like, yeah, no, this is everything I would point. I go about this one. What about this one? She's like, that's fine. That's fine. I go, so how's my skin? She goes good, you know, just, she goes, you're very fair. So you need to wear sunblock. She goes, also she looks at my eyes. She goes, you have very light eyes. And I go, yeah, she goes, you could have cancer in them. And I go, what? Cancer in your eyes. She goes, yeah, like, she goes, you really got to protect your eyes because we'll find cancer in the back of people's eyes. Okay. And, and then I go, I just, oh, because he sent me to the eye doctor. I go, the eye

doctor just cleared me. She goes, oh, then you're fine. But just so you know, that could happen to you easier than people with dark eyes. And I was like, great. Jesus. Did they look at your testicle or your scrotum skin to make sure that isn't. The urologist does. Not there. Dermatology. She doesn't look at your beans. No, she didn't look at my beans. Oh. I was a little, I was, she looked at my ass crack. No, no, she pulled my, she pulled my boxers like you, if you were like playing with someone, she went like this and she was like, and she was like, that looks fine. Like she did not do a close exam at all. Yeah. And then she was like, yeah, you know, you're good to go. You don't have anything that, yeah, I don't do anything removed. And then she

was like, she goes, you should lose weight. I go, is that part of this? She goes, no, you just, you don't look that good naked. And I was like, okay. Just to give you an observation. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I asked about my tramp stamp. Yeah. Cause it's like green by now. Cause it was black in the nineties. Yeah. It's green. And I'm like, can I get this removed? And she was like, yeah, it's real easy now. Like, it's just come back like six or seven times. It's like a knife. Scrape it off. It's terrible. It's still, it still sounds terrible. Yeah. To have your tattoo removed. So it does sound, it sounds awful. Yeah. By the way, I want to make this quick note about something that I cannot believe I didn't say. First of all, there's a bunch of new

items in the store. We have the new mask. We have actually a couple new masks, shirts, the mug that everybody wanted to ask, wanted of the sleeping, Charles. Shut the front door. That's in the store. Yes. Now, keep in mind, this is one we had to barter for. We had to trade an iPad. Is this, this is it. This is the iPad item to get. That's right. The thick boy hat, the 10 milligram Tom T, the mommy's friends T, the, the bridge o'clock, all that. Where my mom's at tumbler is there too. People ask for that one. They're all there plus more. So they're all there. The one thing I wanted to point out, there's a couple items that have gene on them. And I should have made this distinction that they are completely different fabric. And that's why they're more.

We kind of decided to make like a, like a whatever a black label line that says, if it says gene on it, it's, you know, just a different fabric, you know, so it's, it's more costly to make, but it's much nicer material. That's why you'll see that it's not just arbitrarily saying, oh, let's just charge more for that. It's a totally different fabric. So I just wanted to make that point. Thank you to everybody who's been getting stuff in the store. Definitely appreciate it. You know what I want to know is whether or not this is real or not. Hello, faggot lovers everywhere. Is that real? I have a message for you from birds eye birds eye faggots will appeal to your whole family. They've made them with lashings of gravy, but they've gone easy on the spice because kids

don't like them too spicy, apparently. Well, what's a lash? I even suggest that people who don't like faggots could enjoy these. They live in hope. You know, that could be right. I mean, is that real? It is. Really? Yeah. Zolo double checked. He said that that was a commercial that came out like in the 70s. Can we please Google like whatever words faggot UK 1970s? This looks like a 70s ad. Because it also looks like a Monty Python thing. You know, I mean, how is this real? I know that it's a different word. Faggot lovers. Yeah, I'll say it says what a sauce. Yeah, okay. But that's the, can you mute that so that we don't get like and see what it says in there? Yes. What does it say in the description? Anything? It says old UK commercial

on faggots from bird eye. Looks real. What are those? Because I thought, I always thought, I mean, I knew the fags were cigarettes and like, I thought that the word came from the bundling of sticks, right? And that that's why it became a pejorative term. Like, what is that? What are those? Are those meatballs? Really? Brains? Faggots? What's brains? I don't know. It's Mr. Brains. So does it, does it tell you like what, what that is? Okay, well, if you're from the UK, email us in and explain to us because we've never heard the word. If you're from the UK or any part of the world and you can Google faster than Adobe, let us know. I'm sure someone

will be like, yeah, I just found it. But I, okay, I mean, I know, I didn't, I've never heard the word faggots for like meatballs or sausage. I've always heard it in these words. Like that. Right. That's how I'm used to hearing it. Right. I've never heard this. So I'm curious when they started saying this in the UK for, for, for, I would like to know. So they're retarded. So. Retards and gravy. Is that the next one? Is that another one from the UK? We missed that one. That's from the 60s. That's before we used to call them retards. That wasn't appropriate. We changed them to faggots. Oh my God. How about this? I've never seen this before. This is a fetish that I didn't know existed. Just 66 times. What else? Then I'm gonna kidnap you and dump your body in the river.

What else? I'm gonna chop your head off. What up? Keep going. Chop your arms off, bury you, nobody can find you, burn your ass up. Keep going. I'm gonna shoot your ass. How bad you gonna shoot me how many times? I'm gonna shoot you 166 times. Say it louder. I'm gonna shoot your ass. More aggression. Shoot you in the chest so I won't shoot you. You want me to square it? Yes. How bad? Bad. Make a mess. Make a mess. Make a mess. Make a mess. Oh my God. Do you see that? Do you see that? Yes. Yes. Yes. Dude, tone Locke is back. This is so cool. Looks like it. I feel sick. Do you feel sick? I feel good. That was pretty. I liked how he was like in character and then when this happened he was like,

wow. He was going with it and then he's like, she's really doing it. So I guess that's a murder fetish. Yeah, don't act surprised. No, but I usually don't see women like she's the one with the fetish. He's helping her out. I know. It's like so complicated, human sexuality, I guess. I know. I know. I mean, I could watch this kind of shit for days. You know? No, I mean like when somebody has something like that, it's just. Yeah, weird fetish. Yeah, of course. Fascinating. Yeah, I want to know her whole story. How do you squirt when someone's like, I'll bash your head in? I don't know. How does that happen? I don't know. I don't know. It's really something. Well, you know, I know women like the fetish of someone breaking into their house and, you know,

there's like rape fantasies and stuff. There are. Yeah. There's, there's so many things out there that we don't all understand, you know? If you're listening, a man is eating a bag of nails like Indonesia. Right. But nails that you would, you know, like use to build a house. Yeah. He's not eating fingernails. He's eating metal, like two inch nails. Is he swallowing them? I don't know. He's chewing them pretty hard, like for the bit. He grabs a handful of nails and was like, this is what I live for. He really crunches. How do his teeth withstand this? That's really, I don't know, man. Keep playing. That's it. Oh, man. Watch it again. Sure. I'm curious to see if he's swallowing them or just chewing.

No way. He definitely kept some in his mouth. Man, that is crazy. That's tough to watch. That's one of the harder things to watch, I think. What's harder for you? Watching that or like poutine? Well. Or the guy vaping jizz. There's gross that's different. You know, this just feels like you're just like, you're gonna hurt, you're really gonna, can't feel good at all. I can't feel good. I can't be good for you. Let's ask Dr. Drew. Put that on the list. So by the way, a few weeks ago, we played a clip that, you know, it bothered me, but I didn't know it was going to enrage so many people. And that was the bearded lady. People hate her. They really, really flipped out. People were like,

they couldn't stand her. Oh, I played a story of hers from TikTok on my stories. I just got a litany of hate to stop giving this woman a platform. She's so annoying. She sucks. I'm like, is it the beard that angers them? Or is it just her personality? I think it's that whole combo. Yeah. She's kind of an asshole and her beard sucks too. I think it's the way that she's just like, well, there's nothing I can do about it. Yeah, there is. I know. Yeah, there is. And it's easy. Like you go get it lasered. You can wax. It's not crazy hard. She was like, you know, before I accepted it, I always had to like deal with it. Yeah, I know. And everyone was happier. I know. So is this clip here a different lady? No, it's the same lady, but a different clip from

her. Oh boy. God. Buckle up. She's going to annoy the crap out of us. Is this a good one to play? I think it's fun. I think it reveals a little bit about her. Why is she so annoying? Everyone hates her. I'm hot. Ew. Why is that censored? I think what bothers me is like her whole, fuck you. I'm doing this. Yeah, yeah. Fuck off, everybody. Nanny, nanny, poo poo. And it's like, bitch, no one gave a fuck about you in the first place. You know what I'm saying? Like no one's daring you to French your husband in my in my own reapply my lipstick. This is something my mom told me never to do. Why is it censored? I don't know this. Well, in front of men, this is too sexy. Oh, she's she was right. Way too sexy. Thanks, mom. I am riled up and fired up. Clearly,

I have a beard on my face. My question is, why does it matter what my junk looks like? In fact, why does it matter what anyone's junk looks like? Because it's interesting. Because I like to know. When my boys were babies, random people in public places like the bus would ask if they were a boy or a girl. I used to avoid answering this question. How lewd of a question is that what does your Actually, I got to turn this off. Yeah. I got to talk about that with you. I've been dreaming about this video since day one, where someone said, Hey, would you like to do videos on the Internet? And I said, Can I say cock on the Internet?

This is an English teacher. Nice. Yeah, this is a lady with a legit English as a second language YouTube channel. And people go to her to learn how to, you know, to learn how to speak English. Okay, sure. Men have penises. Sometimes women have penises, but they buy them. So that's kind of strange. But penis is usually only on men. These words all mean penis. It's very unusual for someone to say, My penis is itchy. We would always use slang word for penis. You may find yourself in a movie theater watching it in English, and people are laughing. And you said, Why is that funny? Some guy said he was going to stick his schlong in her box. I don't understand. I know the word box. Yes, I don't know schlong. Let's be German. Oh, it must be a German

joke. No, it means penis. Okay, I like her a lot. Yeah, she's nice. I like her. Very common cock. You have to be very careful when you are saying this word cock. A lot of you guys want to say the word Coke restaurants. And the person says, What would you like to drink? And you'd say, I'd like a small cock, please. Oh, maybe you're a little thirsty and like a large cock, then. I got it. I like it. I get it. In slang, we say ass. You can call someone an asshole. You are an asshole. That means it's the hole in your bum booty or booty. I hear used a lot in rap music. It means it also means a pirate's treasure. Okay, I just needed to get away from that. I wish that she would teach. If this bitch taught me Spanish in high school, I would have learned it a lot faster. She's got a fun thing

going on. Yeah, why couldn't she have taught me? Nads, bollocks, testes, nuts, bag, balls, beans. She forgot a lot. She forgot a lot. Well, there's a lot of things you can say. Dick Wang, yeah. A baloney. Oh, wow. Her first word under vagina is cunt. That's harsh. I wouldn't start with cunt. What's her first one? I would go with like meat slobber. I just got camel toe written there, too, for them. Yeah, camel toe is not, well, you know what I'm saying. I know, but it's just like lips, yeah. I don't know if that would be in lesson one for people, but I'm glad she did it. Camel toe is pretty varsity level. It's pretty good. Yeah. Slit. We're constantly, constantly, oh, I didn't, speaking of like dirty words, I'm trying to

talk to people about possibly getting a camera mounted in our toilet. So what happened was, well, first of all, I've always wanted to do an art exhibit of like up on a platform, all glass, like see through and have different people defecate into these tubes, you know? You see like a real skinny chick and then a really overweight guy. Hold on, into the tube. So there's glass. Let me walk through this. Yeah. It's a glass platform. So it's like here and then there's a tube. Well, there's glass toilets. Right. On the platform separate ones and they have tubes that come down and then you stand at the bottom of it. If you're a spectator and we send different people up on the platform and you just see them go to the bathroom. Then

you place bets on what you think the dump's going to be like. You don't have to place bets. It's art. It's just art. Oh, so like you have like a skinny blonde girl, like me, then big fat man, whatever. Exactly. I like that. So I've always wanted to do this. And then anyways, I had that huge evacuation of my bowels yesterday and I started thinking like, you know, I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to pull off that art project, but I sure would like to see what's going on below me right now. So I want to get a camera, like a special camera. And then you were like, well, how do we wash the camera? And I'm like, I think this is a question for more advanced technological minds. I'm just putting it out there. If you have it can help us come up with a solution.

Right. How would we mount a camera in the toilet? And I would have to be waterproof. I can see Annie's wheels turning right now. Yeah, Annie, how would we do this? And then how would you collect the footage? You'd have to come to our house like once every day. Tell me how this would work. You would just do, use a GoPro. GoPro will, they can withstand anything. So just put a GoPro in there and it's not going to get messed up. It'll be protected. Really? Yeah. And then, oh yeah, you can just pull it out later and record, you know, because it has what a card in there. Right. Yeah. And then you get the footage later. And they always have like a case because people take them surfing and stuff like that. So who would, so could you come over

and how often would you have to get the disc every day? Once a week you would come and wear gloves? You're going to need a different guy for that one. I can mount it for you and then I'm out of the picture. Okay. I mean, do you think it's a cool idea? No, I have an idea. What about for your only fans page? Oh. This could be content that you release on your only fans. This could be content for any's only fans. Oh, any. Because I was just thinking you should, we could put a GoPro in yours too for your once a month shit, which I'm sure would be epic to view. I don't think, I don't think I could ever, you guys asked me if I would have sex on camera for like whatever money. I would do that a thousand times before I would shit on camera. How come? No chance. Why? I just, I mean,

I don't like it in all facets of, it's not just like I don't like doing it. I don't like people knowing about it. I don't like smelling it. I don't like thinking about it. Right. Yeah, so the majority of this show. You have a real, you have a real issue with dumping, huh? Yeah, I don't know what it is, but yeah. I would really love for you to get to like to do digging on that, you know, for yourself. What do you think? It's like worth kind of doing the homework on that? I mean, what homework would I, what would I do? The talk therapy about like why it's, you have such an aversion to it? I could. Yeah, I might. I don't know. I just, I like things the way they are. There you go. You're like, I'm just comfortable with this. Do you, do you find that, I mean, because essentially

this is immersion therapy, what we do with you every week. Do you feel like this has helped your aversion to Brown? Nope. Nope. It's made things worse is what you're saying? No, it made me realize. I didn't know before. What if we had in your toilet the camera mounted towards the water? It's not going up towards your hole. It's just in the water and we just see what comes out. Well, that's an interesting story. Like, are you asking if I would do it? Yeah. I wouldn't want to. Really? I wouldn't like it. No, I wouldn't want you to see it. I don't like people knowing. That's why I refuse to have a shared bathroom. I don't ever want you to go, I accidentally go in there or try to go in there and then you realize that I'm shitting. That would

be that I wouldn't want to talk to you for weeks. Oh, wow. So you, you, I mean, if you ever get married, you will really have to have separate toilets and separate wings. Yeah. I mean, I don't think I'm ever going to get married, to be honest, but if I did, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're separate bathrooms for sure. And how would you feel if she Browned, would you, would you be like, please don't tell me, I don't want to know? Yeah, it would really bother you to know when she was going. Yeah, like a girl clogged my bathroom once. Never talked to her again. That was the last of it. Yeah. And what if a girl accidentally farted in front of you? Would that just be like? I mean, I better see some remorse. You know, there should be, you should feel a little bad. If you

laugh about it and fart, there's, you know, it's a different thing. Yeah. Sure. But if you, and I can also, let's see if she was like, and she was like, Oh my God. Oh my God. And you're like, all right. But if she was like, Oh God, that's relief. Then you'd be like, this is over. It's like you obviously don't have any respect for me, for my property, for this relationship. So let's just end it here then. You would not survive one day in our marriage. Tom and I, we talked about NRE, we have that SRE, same relationship energy. Yep. Tom and I. But I respect the shit out of his position on this. I do too. I feel like if that's what you, that's your thing, then you gotta maintain. Yeah. Everyone's got their standards, man.

Yeah. Yeah. But when you got that SRE, like we have, you just let it rip all day. All day. Eared day. Eared day. What about childbirth? Like, let's say a lady has your baby, would you not want to watch your child come out of her cooch? Because it's bloody, it's not like ladylike, you know? Does anybody actually like watch it? That's usually what people do. Cigarette did both times. Yeah. Most people, I mean, a lot of people watch the baby enter the world, you know? Oh, wow. I mean, I wouldn't have any aversion to it now. I don't think so. But there might be brown there because sometimes when you push, stuff comes out. Sometimes, but not like, I mean, you didn't. I didn't, right? No, you didn't.

Everyone says I'm lying that I didn't poo poo when I, I didn't. I swear I didn't. I mean, there's a bunch of like other bullshit that came out. But I didn't, brown. Yeah. Did you see my veg on the last baby, like come out kind of like, like explode more? I feel like it exploded a lot more on the second one. Yeah. Yeah. Because my uterus came out of my vat, remember? I don't know. Did you see that part? Did it look really fucked up after I delivered Julian? You're not really looking at it like that. No, I know. I know you're not looking at it like sexually. No, I mean, not how you mean that. You're just kind of like, you're so focused on the baby. Yeah. Coming out that you're not like, what's

going on with her? With her puss. Yeah. You weren't worried ever like, oh God. I mean, I did think you might tear in half and just kind of bleed out there, but I was like, I'm going to get this kid out. But then were you like, I hope her vagina is going to be nice and, and tied again? Well, yeah, you have a thought. You're like, well, they're better fix that. Yeah. They better fix that. Yeah. Yeah. You definitely think that. Definitely. You're worried that it would be too loosey? Is it too loosey-goosey now? Do you feel it? No. You're okay with it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, babe. Okay. I don't know if you'd notice what happens when I usually get in there, but I'm good with it. I'm not like, well, can you make it seal shut or something? That's true. Yeah. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah. So I wanted to show you. What was the one? Oh, first there's this guy. He just seemed pretty interesting. I don't know. This is my Terry Patrick poster. I paid $40 for it on Amazon.com. As a fan of Terry Patrick, $40 for this poster. To me, it was worth it. I love this poster very much. Wow. That's an incel, definitely. You think so? Yeah. I certainly got something interesting in the meal today. Delta white, custom mouse pad. Who the hell is Delta White? I think she's an old-timey star. Delta White. By the way, he bought a mouse pad. Right. Wait, and by the way, nobody says Amazon.com anymore. Although you can purchase things on Amazon using our banner, just go to the home page, click on the banner as you normally will, your mom's

house podcast.com. Just do shopping as you normally do. Http://www.yourmomshousepodcast.com What's interesting about this mouse pad? I can now jerk off with the mouse while scrolling all over her body. What? Her pussy is yummy. Her tits are fantastic. I certainly wouldn't mind tasting her magnificent ass. Anyways, I paid $20 for this mouse pad on Amazon. I'm happy I purchased it. I'm going to be playing with it. Now there's a cool guy. Can you search Delta White? I just never heard that. I mean, I'm not saying that's not a person, but is that who that is? Fucking, okay. I mean, she's pretty. I like her. She's very pretty. Yeah, I like her. This is not about her. I just want to,

I've never heard this name before, Delta White. I mean, she's big in the Ukraine. I don't know. My space. This is an old ass jam, then. I should say my space. Her, I will jerk off on her. Oh, fuck yeah. I received something hot and very good in the mill. Another fucking Delta White mouse pad. What is happening in the world? Well, can I ask you, Tom? What is going on? First of all, oh, fuck. Why the mouse pad? Like, why not just download her films? Yeah, I don't know. It's a good question. Oh, fuck yeah. I want him to. I would rather watch the movies personally. I know. I want to spend some time with Delta White. I'm going to look for a motion picture of sorts. Right. Not a mouse pad. It's a mouse pad. But I wish he would narrate

porn to me. Oh, yes. I paid $13 for this mouse pad. They have no posters of Delta White. I am a fucking Jew. My tongue. My saliva is 100% kosher. Is that in his plea to let her use it? Yeah. He's like, that's the offer. I have a kosher tongue. Can I ask you something, Tom? Whenever you hear somebody speaking English as a second language, do you wonder, like, oh, is this person as tick-tocked in their native language as they are in English? Right. Interesting. Like, is it just the language barrier or is this guy just as stupid in Russian? Right. Like, because I have relatives. I'll tell you this. I think he's stupid in both. I think so too. Yeah. Because sometimes you're like, it's just

got to be a language thing, right? No. He's an idiot in both languages. This guy sucks. He's an idiot, right? Yeah. All across the board. He's the worst. He sucks. Yeah. He's a terrible, terrible person. I'm going to buy you a Dana White. Dana White? The president of UFC? I'm going to buy you a Sean White mouse pad. A Sean White. It's a border. What is he? Delta. I love Sean White. Delta way. I'm going to buy you a really cool mouse so that you can have it in the house. Cool. So the kids can see. Oh, fuck yeah. Speaking of these. Oh, fuck yeah. Cool guys. You wanted to talk about these cool guys. Yeah, I'm in and so no woman ever wants to have sex with me. So hard being a virgin. I look at women like creatures from a different planet.

It's so hard. I wish I could just have sex once. I wish I could get laid, but I can't because no woman ever want to have sex with me. It's kind of crazy though because you look at them and you're like, it's definitely not impossible for you to get laid. He's attractive. He doesn't look like he's overweight or he doesn't look like he has any weird thing going on. He's attractive. Even in like the most awful angle and awful lighting, he looks fuckable. So what's the deal? What's the hold up? Really depressing. My life is like hell. It's all mental. When I die, if I go to hell, it'll just be like, I didn't die. That's what it's like to be an incel. Jesus. Everyday's torture. It's just pain and suffering. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

Definitely not have sex with anybody ever. Okay. Well, that was my log update for today. I'll see you guys later. Bye. That was a chipper ending. Well, I can see what some of the problems are and they're in your social skills, but yeah. Yeah. This guy's got dimples. He's got a lot going on. Yeah. So what is it? It's a confidence issue. I would say it's a little more than confidence. I mean, his... Oh, what is it? Well, I mean, did you not listen to him talk? Mental illness. Yeah. He's got well adjusted. Right. Right. Well, you could take pills. He's probably like the last guy, you know. I am a fucking Jewel. Can I read you guys? For yummy pussy. Go ahead. I want to find this email that I was looking at.

Wait, I got... Before we wrap up, we got to do this game. I really want to play this game. Sure. You got to put that down though. Okay. I'm sorry. Okay, go ahead. I just need you to really pay attention. Okay, but it's kind of an in cell question. It's... What is it? It's this guy. He says, okay, when talking about dating, my female friends describe me as having, quote, good boy vibes. I'm a 25 year old male, pretty as a lady with a graduate philosophy background that often gives me an elevated at times eccentric way of speaking. Despite my otherwise libertine lifestyle, I've been told I give off a strong sense of being an innocent good boy your mom and grandma will love. What could dry the pussy up more? So what to do about good boy

vibes? How should I shake them, embrace them and present as a good boy who will make these ladies sleep for three days if they just try it out? So like, I figure that's a question you guys could help answer. Yeah. I mean, I think my suggestion would be you need to get away from the group that knows you. Oh, that's smart. Because that whole circle is like, he's not dangerous and he's good, and that's how they will always view you. That's so true. You kind of got to break out from the group that sees you as that way so that you can be like a new person to new people. Right. It's like going to a new school and all of a sudden you're the hot girl and everyone wants to bang you. But then he's also got to change his mindset because he probably goes for friendship, like

meets women. He's like, I want to be your friend. But in his mind, he's actually like, I want to fuck this chick. Right. But he's like, but the way that the way that he knows to communicate is to be friendly. So he needs to cut out the friendship vibes and go straight to predator. Well, he has to be predator. You know, I mean like hunter. You need to be a hunter. Yeah, hunter versus like a good boy. Yeah, he could still be himself be nice, but he's he's got to put it in his head like he that guy thinks of himself as I'm for women. I'm good to be their friend. So he's his mindset is like, I'll go in non-threatening. I'll make sure that they're they don't say yeah, feel safe and I'll just be cool to them. And then

then he's like hanging out with them all the time. He's like, how come they don't see me as sexually viable? Well, because they see you as like adjacent to being their friend, a woman, basically, right? Yeah, you're just a girl with a dick. I mean, that's my thought. I mean, these guys actually throw their dicks around. Yeah, guys, dick throwers. What do you guys have? I mean, this is bad advice, but I'd say maybe tattoos, piercings, right? People like that. I would say a little more bad boy. I got you. No, yeah, because it's like if you got if if grandma or mom would like you, turn into something that grandma and mom won't like. Interesting. Tribal tattoos, gauge your ears, snake bites, like septum piercing eyebrows,

that crazy industrial bar that people have sometimes. This is a little okay. Super lame. No, I think and here's the deal. I think you need to embrace if you're a little eccentric and nerdy. Well, who was that prince? Motherfucking prince. Yeah. Remember him? He was short. He was effeminate. Yeah. He wore heels. Yeah. And he was the sexiest motherfucker on drowning and pussy earth because he embraced that he was little and effeminate. So you got to embrace what you have and dress that up. So maybe if you're a good boy, yeah, you know, dress like any, how would you coach this guy? This is like everybody gets to see some of their friend. I mean, what you just said is my first thing is find out now there's why do people like hanging around you in the first place?

More than likely it's not whatever you're talking about these nice, there's something about you. So explore that more, like figure out who you are. And then I think the big thing too, usually with guys that are considered nice, they're not risk takers or not huge risk takers. Take risks. Take a lot of risks. Like when people, were you that kid in school when they were like, Hey, we're going to go drink a bit of dude stuff behind you're like, that's not for me. Yeah, because there's like a sense of panic that these guys feel. Like when they go like, I like this girl, like, should I do the thing that makes her know I like her that way? And then they go like, Oh, no, no, no, no. But it's like, once you can make that leap,

that like, let's do it, you're sexually interested. What look, it's going to, it's going to take on one on one of them, you know, it's like that whole batting average thing. You got to like, you got to strike out. But this guy has, here's the thing. This guy's like, all I do is strike out. It's like, no, you don't, you haven't even swung. He doesn't ever take swings. Exactly. Yeah. Go for it. And there's something to what any saying too, about risk taking in general. I remember when Ellis was starting to be Ellis and was like running into the ocean at the age of two and being a maniac. And I was like, I was talking to my therapist. I'm like, I'm so afraid this boy

is going to kill himself. You know, she goes, you cannot keep him sheltered. She goes, what is, she goes, the most unattractive thing in the world is a man who is afraid, a scaredy cat. And that, that stuck in me so hard. I go, he's absolutely right. There's nothing more unattractive than a wussy, pussy boy, like a scared little, you know, what's it called? I think you just gave him his answer. Yeah. What are the meatballs that we discussed earlier? The meatballs. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, trying to walk me into that trap. What were they? Gravy? Yeah, the British gravy bird eyes. That's what I remember. Okay. You think I'm, you think I'm a fucking rookie over here?

I'll give you something to watch. Oh, well, you describe what we saw. No. So there's a, uh, there's two little people and that by little people, I mean, not real tall, like when they're under four feet tall. Um, and they're women and they are headbutting a full grown man's, um, erect penis and testicles. And she actually nibbled on his sack for a second. Um, it's pretty, pretty crazy. Maybe there's something crazier coming up. What's that? So that is touch. Oh my God. This. What'd you see in that one? Um, there's a nice lady on

all fours and there's a man with one fist in her asshole and one fist in her coach. Is that what I'm seeing? So he's double fisting her. And that looks really, really aggressive. And it looks like it's got to hurt like a motherfucker. Fuck. How do you feel about it? I mean, apropos our discussion earlier of me birthing and a bunch of shit. It's like, it just reminds me of birth. It's not too much. It's too much in there. The smell of it. Ew. Okay. So there's a lady. Annie, how does that tickle your fancy? Is that, what if your, what if your girlfriend did that? Like, love of your life. She's the one for you. People don't even know what we said. It's okay. Do they need to know? It's so disgusting.

What if you walked in? Okay. It's the woman of your dreams. You're like, I got to marry this bitch. She's the one and you come home. Anything you're about to say right now. No, there's zero There's nothing you could do. What, what? This video upset you? I wouldn't like to watch it again if that's your question. Will you say what it was so the audience knows it's listening? What was it? It was a lady sitting up against a wall. A lady. Yep. She's leaning against a mirror, which is not the least safe part. She's, there's a little, little guy peeking out of her, of a booty hole. And she takes a big hole and then she decides to push and that little guy turns into a bunch of big guys. That's a nice way of putting it. And that's,

that's, that's about it. It just kind of fits there. It sounds crazy coming out. It did sound like pebbles. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think she ate? I don't know. I got to move to the next one. I don't like it. No, no. That was tough to watch. That one's tough to watch. Oh my God. Oh my God. What did you just see? I don't like this lady. How many chicks are completely insane? Five. Well, they're all on heavy yard dog. So did she put a hot dog in her ass hole? And then pooped it out and ate it. Yeah. And then eats the hot dog. Oh, for fuck's sake. I mean, oh, poutine part two. She's shitting on noodles this one. That's like a runny. I'm done with this segment. That's a lot of caca. That is a lot. I don't even think we're

halfway through all the quick. I think I'm finished and then this one's going to eat it. I'm done. I'm good. I don't even need to see this. I mean, I'm really okay. This will make me sick. Yeah. Can we stop? This will make me sick. Is there a trash can here? No, I don't want the box. This is going to make me sick if I look at this. I'm purposely not looking. Well, can you turn it off then? Because I don't need to see it either. When I told you about this segment, Tom, you said you were so excited. I was. I was. I don't. Why is that? I actually have to take a break for a second. Yeah, I don't feel good anymore. Let's stop being good. Where did any go? He's leaning back. He can't watch what's on the screen.

Look at the bruises on her arms. Look at the violence on her. I cannot. I got to change this. No, I don't want this. I know where this is going to go. Puking probably. No, you're not going to like this one. I promise. Oh my God. Oh my God. She's. These just. Turn around. These are from here. Turn. No, she's not. There's no puke at all. I swear. You can't even do that. It's so unsanitary. I have got to go. I can't. I've got to go. You can't do that, right? What the fuck? Okay. Where is? All right. Okay. Are we done with the segment? I done. Let's take a break, guys. Are we done?

It's so much. Oh God. Don't look. Hold on. I should probably change the frame, one sec. Okay. Okay. You can look now. I'm serious. I changed the whole thing. I changed the whole thing. I changed the whole setup. It's a different. It's a different folder. There's no puke. There's no puke. Look. Look. I fucking swear. If you lie to me, I'm not touching your dick for two weeks. Okay. That's better. Can we never do those videos again? Yeah. Let's talk about them. I don't like them. So, who prepped this? Uh, our very favorite Zolo prepped all of these. Can I talk to him for

a second? Absolutely. That was horrible, babe. Yeah. I don't feel good anymore. I know. Don't feel happy. That was horrible. I know. Hey, Zolo. You there? Hey. So, that was tough to get through here. How was it prepping them? It was tough. What was the worst one for you to watch? The corn one, for sure. The corn one. I missed out because I missed. Well, we should tell people. So, it starts with a lady performing fellatio on a piece of corn, right? A corn. A corn on the cob. Yup. And then she starts to, um, anally insert it, but the brown starts to come out. Right. And then a bunch of brown comes out. Yeah. And then she puts it at the corn that's covered in brown in her vagina. That's not good for you. I know that's not. And then she eats it.

That's not good for you. The eating is okay, but I bet you the brown and the bad. The eating is not okay. It is. Ask Dr. Drew. It's not okay. We cover this on Dr. Drew after dark. That is not okay to do. It is okay to do and you will not get sick. Stop saying that that's okay to do. I'm not advocating it, but ask Nadov. Did Dr. Drew not say that you can eat your own brown? He did say. He said you might not get sick, but it's a bad idea. But you might not get sick. Okay, well then stop saying it's okay. It's not okay. Meaning you're not going to die. You might die. Ask him. You'll see his answer. And I'm not advocating it. What a ridiculous thing to say that it's okay. He does say it because it's in the tube, the intestinal tract, and you're just,

it's not, it doesn't go into the body. You have to listen to how he says it. I'm telling you, we go over this. I've asked him multiple times and he goes, yeah, it's okay. Eat your brown. It's okay. I swear to fucking Christ. Okay, go ahead Zolo. Yeah, that was pretty cool. I had fun with that. Was the spaghetti one hard? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty tough too. How do you, how do you get through watching these and prepping them? Well, if they're real bad, I'll like tape like a piece of paper over the screen and just kind of go off the audio. Did you enjoy any of these? No. I enjoyed showing them to Nadav afterwards

and watching how horrified he was. That was a great time. That's fun. But no, the process of watching them and prepping them. Yeah. And the vomit stuff? I don't mind vomit that much. Yeah. Yeah, it didn't really bother me. See, I didn't mind the girls puking on each other. Oh my God. The last one out in the mud? Yeah, that seemed like it was kind of sporty. Right? Like it was like people just hanging out. How any feels about brown is how I feel about vomit. Like if you were a regular vomitor, I'd be like, I cannot date you. If your thing was like once a week, I just, I vomit and you have to. What if I asked you to puke on me? No. No? It's never going to happen. Really? You wouldn't do it? No. Why are you surprised? I'm just saying, what if I was like,

can you just gag yourself and puke on me? No. Never. I know. Nope. How any feels about brown is how I feel about vomit. All right. Okay. I feel like you don't believe me that you can eat your brown. Do you want to call Drew and ask him? Can we call him? No. There's no need to call him. I just said you're like, yeah, it's okay to do. It is okay. It won't kill you. I think you just don't get what I'm saying. But I'm not telling people. No, we're just not speaking the same language. Like you're making the point that it won't kill you. I'm just saying like, yeah, it's not okay. You're saying it's not okay from a moral and from a normal perspective. I'm saying it's okay in the sense that medically it will not kill you. So we're saying okay in two different lanes is what

we're saying. Behaviorally, no, you should never eat your brown. Right. I'm meaning it's okay that it won't kill you and you probably won't get sick doing it. Yes. That's what Dr. Drew says. Okay. Can I call him? Even the way that he summarized it is like not the same as what you're saying. He doesn't make it seem like he's encouraging people to do it. He's not encouraging. Right, like you are. I am not encouraging. It sounds like you are. Meaning it's not going to kill you, but you shouldn't fucking do it. Obviously. Okay. I'm calling him. You guys are killing me right now. I think you're killing us right now. I don't care. I'm going to I'm not going to let you make me retarded today. It's not happening. You're not. You are not going to make me a dumb shit.

Please. I hope he picks up. I don't know, but the rings they need to hear the ring. Hey, we're taping your mom's house. You're live on the show. I have a very important question to ask you. Okay. I'm trying to explain to Tom that it is medically okay to eat your brown. Not that it's a good thing to do or that it's a behaviorally good thing, but it quote is okay in the sense that it won't kill you. Go ahead. Correct. Correct. So I say it out loud again. Please explain. Yes. Okay. It is called coprophagia. It is an abnormal behavior, but it's a well-described behavior, particularly with people with brain diseases and like severe autism and stuff, and they don't get any diseases from finger painting with their shit and eating their shit

unless they're on a medicine that it's excreted in the bowel like lithium. I had a patient once that was involved in coprophagia and he little known to the staff was doing so and accumulated it's much lithium in his system and he got kidney failure. So that's how it can hurt you, but there's nothing intrinsic in the brown unless you have a parasite or but it's already you've already got it if you've got that stuff. Wait, there it is. One more question. If I were to fillate a corn cob and then put that corn cob in my anus and cover it in my brown and then put that corn cob covered in brown in my vagina, would that be bad? That would be bad. What would happen? Because your vagina doesn't like E. coli and all those other bacteria that come with it

and you get a vaginitis. Thank you. Hold on, Tom. And then, sorry, hey Drew, how you doing? Hey, oh, who's this? This is Tom. I'm not just talking to Christina, I don't have a whole afternoon conversation. I just wanted to ask like if you then put it from your vagina into your mouth and ate it. That would also be bad. That's right, that's right. Provided you didn't have any infections in the V, that would be less problematic than A to V. But just to kind of like summarize Christina's report on eating your brown, I mean do you encourage people to do it? I do not encourage people to do it. Because as an impact, I'm now thanks to you two. We lost them. I wouldn't encourage people to even have that experience.

Okay, well, Christina said quote, it's okay to eat your own shit. And that's where I was like, I don't know if I would say that it's okay to do. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, it is, it is. It's not, it's not like directly harmful in most cases, but I wouldn't. There's nothing okay about it. There's nothing okay about it. Well, meaning okay behaviorally or okay medically, he's saying okay. Medically without consequence in most situations. In most situations. Okay. I'm looking at Adam Kroll about to start a podcast and he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? So let me go do that. Okay. All right. Thanks buddy. Appreciate it. Thanks Drew. I'm so, do you think he's happy he took my call today? Probably not. Probably not. That we waste his life with this

nonsense. I'm so glad we have a doctor on hand to ask these questions too. Yeah. All right, we have a fully loaded episode. So why don't we just take a quick break here and we'll be back with a guest. Okay. And welcome back. We're here with one of the greats, All Time Fave. I can't believe we've never done this before. It is the great Russell Peters. Thank you so much for coming. Hello. You guys, you team. The comedy duo has Russell here. For people that don't know, first of all, I'm, everyone knows about your success as a comedian. I didn't know how seriously you were taking jiu-jitsu now. All your, I see you online all the time. Trim down from it. Trim down and I see the belt colors are changing and the key colors are changing. I'm doing what I can. Dude,

that's pretty. Are you going to do it? I remember you asked me. I asked you. I've asked a lot of people and I've never pulled a trigger. You really should. Really? You'd love it. Where do you go? You see your, where is that? In Tarzana. Wow. And what do you, how far, how long have you been doing it? Four and a half years. How'd you start doing it? Damn. I kind of did it in the 90s in Canada. Right. Because you like boxing a lot growing up. I used to box 85 to 94 and then I started doing jiu-jitsu around 97. But I was kind of just doing like Japanese jiu-jitsu where it's the same ship but standing up. So instead of using the ground, you use the wall. Really? Yeah, it's that kind of stuff. But then I hurt somebody on the street in like 2000 and I thought I was a monster after

that. So I stopped training all together. Are you like we're in a fight? It wasn't a fight. It was I got, I thought I was getting jumped. So I put a guy, there was two guys and long story short, I put one guy in a guillotine, choked him out. Damn. And he fell face down on the ground, knocked out all his teeth. But then I, the other guy that was on my back jumped around. I was like, yo, it's me. And I was like, oh, shit. I mean, you can't just jump on me and expect me to be like, this is great. Somebody's jumping on me. His teeth were all out. Yeah, I had to buy him new teeth. And I didn't have money then. Dude. I would love to do that to some of my staff, just to be clear. It's a hate crime if you do to the gingerju. Well, I don't want to do it to anyone else. So

dude, that is insane, man. Did you feel really bad? I felt, I felt horrible. It's got to be if it's somebody who didn't want to do it. Yeah. And the thing is, the guy's a really nice guy. It's not like he's a dick and you're like, ha. He grabbed you? Like he jumped on your neck? No, one guy grabbed me from the side and the other guy jumped on my back and the guy on my side, I just turned my body way and he ended up in front of me. So I locked him in a guillotine and then. Damn. Now, did you buy him good teeth? I got him wood. In honor of George Washington. Is anything crazier than when someone goes, we always talk about it with the fake teeth, but they go too white and too big. Oh, yeah. There's a few comics we know that have done that. Oh, yeah. They've been on

your podcast recently. Big ol' chompers. Oh, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, when do you look in the mirror and go, this is it? That's it. It's a lot. Because they're so advanced now that you can go make them obviously look nice and white-ish, but like make them look like human teeth. Human white. Not paper white. Yeah. It looks insane. Especially if you're old. You ever seen that picture of the dog and they put human teeth on them? They always look like that. They do. They look like a dog with teeth, man. Yeah, my ex-wife did it. And when she first did it, I sent her, she sent me a picture of that and I go, oh my God, and I made a split screen of the dog. Your ex-wife was like, fuck. Then I sent it to her brother too.

So wait, you knocked a friend's teeth out. That was 20 years ago. That was 20 years ago. And then, but you were just like, I'll stay away from Jiu Jitsu. Yeah, I just like, I didn't want to hurt anybody like that. Yeah. Because when you're training, you want to do it. Sure. So I wanted to do it. And then somebody did it and I was like, this is a perfect opportunity. And when did you get back with Machado? I started with him four and a half years ago. So I started training with his brother, Hegan, who was a really great guy. And he's a phenomenal Jiu Jitsu guy, but Hegan's in Beverly Hills. I'm out in the valley. It was just, and at the time,

actually, I was in Malibu. So it was even harder to get consistent training going. So I ultimately asked Hegan, can I train with your brother? And he's like, sure, call my brother. And so you go, and when you started though, were you just like in a regular class? No, I would just do privates for the first couple of years. You would? Okay. Yeah. And then ultimately, John Jack is now my son's godfather. Wow. Yeah. Wow. So you guys got really close. Yeah, we got real close. I mean, you got a man on top of you. Yeah.

And you're in between his legs a lot. Did you love that? Not so much. So you spar with like, people eventually just roll with all the other guys in the class. Damn. Then there's like, pop, there's cops in there. And there's, there's guys that have no next. Do you ever sense though, do you ever sense the like the guy who's like, that's Russell Peters. No, you don't do nobody in the class does that shit. No, because they're, they're just not like that. It's just, no, you're, if you got that kind of mindset and you're training for a long time, there's something wrong with you.

Really wrong with you. Yeah. Cause once you start training, you realize the respect becomes, yeah, the respect goes up and you're like, Oh, that guy's really good. Okay. And that guy, oh, wow. Okay. And it becomes, it doesn't matter who you are. Got you. Yeah. Even when I'm rolling with cops, they're black belts. You know what I mean? These are big dudes. And in my head, it's not like, I'm going to get this cop. I'm just like, yeah, I just don't want to get killed.

And how bad does it smell in there? I imagine it's pretty stinky. Smell too bad. No, they, some, no, some guys don't wash their ghee properly. That's what I'm saying. Boys are nasty. No, it's, you know what it is? It's when they leave it and it doesn't dry and it gets that fucking musty smell. It's like a locker room smell. Oh, it's gross because it heats up and it gets fouled. Have you been injured from rolling?

I just hurt myself two weeks ago. Would you hurt? My finger, my middle finger. Yeah. It's, it's coming back, but I still can't do anything with it yet. Have you gotten head cranked though and everything or no? Oh yeah, you get all that. I rolled with Joe one day. How was that?

What? Oh, he fucking, he annihilated me. Really? Oh yeah, he's insane. Yeah. He's so strong though. He's like a gorilla. It's like literally like, remember those Samsonite commercials back in the day?

01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:17,920 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Throwing all the fucking luggage around. Yeah. What was it like? What's, what's the play by play of how that went? So we start and I'm used to going slower. Mm-hmm. I'm a, I'm a, I like to roll slow so I can, for me, it's all like boxing and boxing. You don't come out in the first round to start throwing all your punches.

Right. You want to just, you want to figure out what they're doing, where they're going. And then, so I was defending really pretty decently. And then Joe put me in a, in a, he was trying to put me in a twister. What's a twister? So it's where he gets behind you and he locks his legs onto you, right? But he twists his body so your spine starts to twist. And it's, first of all, it's illegal.

It's illegal in competitions. Yeah. That's it. See the body? Yeah. And that's what Joe was trying to do to me. Oh my God. But while you're doing that, there's a move in, involved called a calf slicer. And the calf slicer is like his shin goes across your calf muscle. And it fucking, I, it hurts so bad that I tapped when that happened.

Wow. And he goes, why'd you tap? I go, yeah, I mean, a calf slicer goes, that's not the move I was trying to do. I go, I don't care what the move you're trying to do. That shit hurt. That shit hurt. I would love to see the two of you. Is it sparring injury?

Rolling. Rolling. Rolling. Yeah. Would you sell tickets? You and Joe Rogan? No, he's a black belt. I'm a blue belt.

Yeah. You know what? He's a high, he's a high level black belt. You want to get equal competitors. Yeah. I couldn't be like the first, the only time, well, I mean, I knew he was obviously in shape, but I was on the road with him years ago. And we were at some bar that had, it was some, I don't know, some town and they had the actual

arm wrestling setup stations, you know, with like the thing you grab onto. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was like an up, they're like, over the top. Over the top. Over the top down. And we're just hanging out after a show and I go, you want to arm wrestle? And he goes, sure. Yeah, that's the thing with Joe.

It's never like, are you sure this is what you want to do? It's always like, sure. And it's like, oh, like, I knew, I knew he was going to win. It wasn't like I thought I might win. But I was like, I just want to see what this is like. And so we, you know, you, you grab on and I swear to you, I've never, because you arm wrestle friends like growing up, you know, you do it in middle school and high school. You do it on a table like this.

You do it like this. But here's the thing, there's always, if you're talking about like, like most dudes, there's always at least this, right? Like this, a little bit. And then like the stronger pair and then you guys can like, dude, I put all of my fat ass weight into this. I mean, everything and every ounce. And that's when you were fatter.

Much fatter. But everything that I had, and I'm not kidding you yet, that he was like, go. I put everything I had and it just stayed exactly like this. Like it didn't even move a millimeter. And then he was like, go. And I was like, I'm going as hard as I can right now. I just couldn't, I couldn't move it even a fraction of an inch. I believe, yeah.

I was like, holy shit. I just, it was the first time I was like, oh, I realized now, like this person could just rip my arm out of my socket. Yeah, he is a park gorilla. I'm, I probably believe that. Yeah. I saw him once in a bathing suit by a pool. A bathing suit.

We were at a hotel. But is that what, what do they call? Trunks. Oh, trunk. Yeah. How about just without a shirt on? Yeah. Is that what men wear, trucks?

Yes. We wear trunks. We were at a hotel at the same hotel as him. And we walked up and I was like, Jesus, I never seen him. You work out. Yeah. I was like, this guy. I've seen Tom without a shirt.

Same thing. Same feeling. Just stop, just stop there. He's been lifting weights though. I know. I only know fat Tom. He looks amazing. I know, look at him.

I'm trying, I'm trying. It doesn't matter. I did notice your weight loss when you and Bert had your little competition go. That was a while ago. It's kind of yin and yang since then. Well, yeah, I know. It does that though. You know, it's, that's, that's the good thing.

But it sounds like the jujitsu is treating you right, dude. Because you do look great. I mean, yeah, I mean. You look good. I'm 50. How much did you, how much did you lose? Like since you started training? In September.

You know? Russell, you haven't aged since I've known you. I'm listening. I'm serious. You look great. And can I tell you, I want to thank you publicly because in 2010, was it 2010? It was 2010. When we went to England?

Yes. And may I thank you from the bottom of my heart because we were so poor and we had just gotten married and you took not only my husband to open for you on a massive arena tour, but you let my dumb ass join. Well, you were just married. What am I going to separate you guys? But it was like, it was seriously one of the kindest things that anyone had ever done. It's also a life experience.

It was amazing. And I just want to thank you. Yeah, thank you very much. It was so special. And to see you play this, I'd never seen a comedian play, you were at the O2 arena. That was two nights, right? Back to back nights. Back to back.

And then he went to Birmingham and you did a huge venue. And I'd never seen anybody on that scale in comedy. No, but London was last. Thank you. Right? I mean, it was not. Was London, was it London and then Birmingham? I thought we did Birmingham first.

London was last. Yes. We used Birmingham as the warm-up show. No, you were like, we're going to do a little tune-up for the arena show. It was. And I was like, oh, is it a club? And you're like, it's not a club. It was like 7,500 seats.

I was like, that's not a club. And to see the audience, I mean, you're so good at your crowd work and getting people, you know, like the different groups and people just went nuts. It was really special. You had to sew it together, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. No, that was an experience.

Man, that's, I remember Tom was doing his midget jokes then. And I had the wolf with me and I sent him on stage at the end of your set. That's right. That was great. Oh, that's right. That was great. I remember that. We had a blast.

Dude, that whole thing, that was, yes. Thank you. Like I had met you and we did shows in the States and we did clubs and casinos and all types of like, you know, like cool big shows. I remember you, me and Natasha Leggero did San Diego one time. You're right. That's right. That was like an 07.

Dude, yes. You have a good memory. We drove down there together. I thought we did, didn't we do Pachanga? We might have. No, we did like a San Diego State University or something. Oh, you're right. That was San Diego State.

And I had Tori with me. All right, Barbara. Yeah. Yep. Yep. We went down there and yeah. So like I had done, and then I remember getting the call. He's like, do you want to come to London?

I was like, London, Ontario? London, England. And I mean, the whole thing, it's like to see it on this because it's also like, it's eye-opening where, you know, when you do stand up, like we're all comics and you're doing spots, you're doing clubs, you're doing bars. And then you just like, you took it to the furthest place it can go. So I was like, you know, you hear about the stuff, but to experience it, like to go there. Yeah, but now you're on it yourself.

Well, I mean, it's like for, and let me explain something to you. Now, to watch both of you guys, like, I met you in 06 in Florida when you still lived in Florida. No, I didn't live there. I didn't live there. Oh, you had just moved to LA or something? Yeah, I was, I flew back to the gig. Yeah, and I, the club put us together. Yeah.

It was not like I knew you. Yeah. And I remember you were kind of standoffish at first, but then I watched you act and I go, this guy's fucking hilarious. Really? Yeah. That's why we worked together. I was like, you know, I thought you were hilarious.

And then just to see that, like over 14 years, turn into what it is now. It's wild, right? It's fucking nice. I remember, I remember just being like in awe because I didn't know him either. And so I'm working in the West Palm and I was like, who am I working with? And, you know, I'm a middle act. And then they're like, oh yeah, like, they're like, all the shows are sold out. And I was like, they're all sold out.

And they're like, well, it's Russell Peters. And I was like, I don't even know. And then, and then I, and then you were like, dude, I don't know if you remember this or if you, we can cut it out. If you want, you're like, you're like, this is like no money this weekend. And I was like, what do you mean? It's like six sold out shows. And you're like, yeah, but like compared to like arenas and stuff.

And I was like, oh, I don't know anything you're talking about. And then we, yeah, when we did London, it was such an eye-opening experience. First of all, I remember vividly that that warm-up show, I fucking bombed on. I think we both did though. You said it wasn't great for you. And I was like, so what's up with that? And you're like, well, they're actually off the boat. They just got here.

That's what you said. You're like, they're like really just got here. And you're like, London won't be like this. And I was like, oh, okay. There was a lot of fresh immigrants at that show. And also we had to get you, I had also forgotten about how the English tend to internalize their laughter sometimes. Yeah, yeah.

Like they look at it as a performance. And then at the end, they're like, that was bloody hilarious. And you're like, wait, why didn't you tell your face that day on the show? And that's why I remember I made that announcement at my show. I'm like, I'm taping. I need you guys to laugh. I don't want you to. Living up here.

I also remember that I, another thing I still can remember it vividly was by the time I did the second O2 show, I felt a little more comfortable. Like to be in these 16,000 seat venue doing standup. And so I'd gotten some big laughs. And in your mind, you go like, oh, that's how loud this can get. Right? That's like what I just heard. Yeah, but then I got off stage and they introduced you.

And the absolute pandemonium really did make the hair standup on mine. Like I felt it through. I was like, holy shit. I almost got scared. It was so loud. It was cool. It was fucking something. Very cool.

Yeah. Very, very cool. And to see so many different people, you're entertaining so many different groups of people. And you're giving them all some. And they're so excited that you're saying something that speaks to them. That's what I remember from that. I was like, oh my God, that guy's never heard a joke about himself. His thing.

And then this guy, it must blow their minds. That's why sometimes I get bothered. Sometimes the industry will try to marginalize me. Yeah. And be like, oh, it's just he probably just has all the Indian people at his show. I'm like, no, no, that's not it. No. Oh, he just does that.

And I'm like, or, you know, people will criticize and be like, oh, some more great, some more Indian jokes. I'm like, well, you're missing the point. Yeah, you're definitely missing the point. I remember too. Like what she's saying is like, you could see too that like people were like, they're so happy. Is he going to get us?

Is he going to get us? Is he going after the Hungarians? And then you would like finish a bit about something. You'd be like, now Saudis. And they're like, yes. They're so happy. Here he comes. Well, see, Christina's got an advantage too, because she's been exposed to so many different,

like you grew up with an Indian stepdad. I did. I did. You remember. And you have bits about it. Three steps. She talks about it. I did.

Yeah, my first. And your mom's what, Hungarian? She, yeah, Hungarian. So I grew up immigrant too and feeling like an outsider. 01:36:58,560 --> 01:37:00,240 So you understand what pussy pussy is. Pussy pussy. Give none of pussy.

That was the grossest my grandma would ask. I think on that show is when I did that joke. Yeah. I remember. I was like, this fool's got Hungarian jokes. Yeah. You know them all. You also do, and I know like people know you for doing, you know, and you can do impressions,

but it is bonkers how you can dial in the English speaking, you know, the way someone who is, who speaks Cantonese, speaks English. And then the way that somebody who speaks Japanese speaks like those little details. That you have to have the ear for, like you have to have the ear to be able to do it, but then to see them go like, oh, he's nailing this. Because we were talking about this earlier, how in the news recently a bunch of actors are white actors. Yeah, that's annoying.

But I'm like, I mean, here's what's crazy about it to me. It's like, if you do it well, isn't that awesome acting? Yeah, well, that's also, I think it's respectful if you do it well. 01:37:55,280 --> 01:37:59,600 It shows you took the time to make the, to give them some dignity with it, you know. Right. Right. And I saw a tweet that made me laugh.

It said, I can't wait for them to get a dog to start doing Brian's voice. Hey, you're taking away all that dog work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, I don't know. Remember, do you remember when I told you, when I found out you could speak Spanish, I was like, dude, why don't you do show in Spanish? She goes, you say, that's not, no, it's not going to work.

I go, I can get you on the Hispanic nights in LA. He goes, I don't want to do those. And then they did an entire fucking special in Spanish. I know, I mean, I'm crazy. Yeah, you, you were definitely a forward thinker in that regard. You see how cool it's that. But you are, you're a truly international comedian. You are the future of what hopefully will happen.

Well, now there's new kids that are. But you were the pioneer. Oh, wait. And this is along the lines of the same topic. And I don't know, because I never talked to you about this because, but it was in the news and it's kind of like relevant again. What was your take on the Hank Azaria Apu Simpsons? I think I'm in the documentaries.

Are you? Well, you know, I was always like, here's the thing, when you're Indian in North America, you always felt like an invisible minority. So whatever shine we could get, whether it was positive or negative, we were excited about. Right. So you're like, at least we're there.

70s and 80s, think about it, there was nothing for us. The closest we had was Eric Estrada. Because he looks Indian as fuck. Oh, really? And then Paul Rodriguez. And I was like, oh, OK. So I realized, so the Mexicans are the closest thing to me. So I think that's what also drew me towards the Hispanic people,

because I was like, that's the closest thing that we've got, like getting shine. Right. So we're going to hang out with them. We're going to be with them. Yeah. But did you feel like, did, so you were, what you're saying, though, is that when the Simpsons was on,

and you're like, well, at least there's something. Yeah, at least they acknowledged that we were alive. Right. And then that's part of the process. It's going to start off negative, and then it'll change from there. Yeah, actually. Do you think it was a good thing when they removed that character, though? I mean, it's good and bad.

It's only good if they replace him with another one who happens to be me, and that would be great. Yeah. But I've done, I did an episode of Bob's Burger, where I played a Vietnamese person. You did? Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm like, you know. How did the Vietnamese sound? Well, I ended up doing it more Chinese sounding. I even told them, I said, the voice I'm doing is Chinese. They go, that's fine. That should tell you where the industry's at. That's a real white guy answer. I go, I don't actually do a Vietnamese.

I actually do a Cantonese, Hong Kong Chinese guy. Oh, it's the same. It's fine. It's fine. I'm like, it's the same, right? Really? Yeah. I'm like, oh, OK.

Do it, do it. You know, I can't remember. It was just like, I did a crank anchors once. Yeah. Back in the day. They used to shoot it out of Vegas. Yeah. And I remember did one.

And we did this one where we called the police. And it was like, I found a baby. There was a baby at Caesar's Palace. I picked up the baby. I have the baby with me. How I get the baby back to you. And they were like, and they were like, where are you? Became a whole thing.

I'm looking at the people in the booth. I'm like, getting scared. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I don't want to go to jail for this shit. That is hilarious. It's amazing. Why is it so much fun though? How did you answer where are you, though?

By the fountain. I just, they're like, which fucking fountain? Yeah. The one with the water. Spout the water. But it's so much fun to watch you do that. Like watching people do accents is the best. It's the best, yeah.

Yeah, because you have to fall into it. You can't just like do the voice. Your body has to change with it. Yeah. Did you, were you a huge fan growing up of Michael Winslow? And the. Oh my god. I mean, I enjoyed Michael Winslow.

Like the police academy show. Yeah. I mean, I toured with him. You toured with him? In like 96, 96 in England. Really? I was his opening act. And then a year later.

Stop it. I was D.L. Hugley's opening act in England. Really? Yeah. I was in England a lot back in the day. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah.

Like 95 to 2002, I was there a lot. And was it just like a more welcoming comedy scene? The comedy scene was really blossoming then. And you got figure 96. I'd been doing it seven years. I could, and you only had to do 20 minutes. Yeah. And they were paying you in pounds.

And the pounds were double and a half the Canadian dollar. Wow. So I would be making, you know, if I got 100 pounds a gig, I'm making 250 bucks a show. And I'm like, this is great. Yeah. I was stacking shoes. How was your living situation?

I lived at my cousin's house. Oh. My cousin, all my family, I have a ton of cousins there. And my cousin Darren would let me sleep. He had a tiny ass room. Like when I think about it now, it's, it's smaller than the space here. It's about the space you're in that work back there.

If you put it straight, that was the room. That was the room. And he had a kid's bed and he, he took the floor and gave me the bed. I was like, whoa. And it was like, wow, thanks man. And but it was like that. That was that's what we're doing back then.

Wow. And he would, he would work. He would go to work like six in the morning, come home at three and then drive me around to gigs at like in the evening. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, by the way, I feel like I've,

you met him. I didn't meet him when I was there. Oh yeah. Yeah. 01:43:16,160 --> 01:43:16,160 01:43:16,160 --> 01:43:16,320 Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. We were, we were there. I mean, now you say it was like a whole crew. Junior, I remember junior. Junior was there. Junior Simpson. Yeah. I remember all your brother and his wife.

Remember the after party? Craig G was there. Craig G. Yes. Juice crew. Yeah. Shout out to the juice crew. Ju, ju, ju, juice crew.

All stars. Who was your big, the big dude? Shake. Shake. Yeah. Yeah. That's a guy I've known since 1984. How's he doing?

Oh yeah. He's good. Yeah. Yeah. He's in Canada. What's going to happen, you think, with LA comedy or? I don't know, dude. It's so crazy.

I mean, like we were about, I thought we were just coming out of this thing. Yeah. No, I, it's weird because I don't understand what's happening. I don't think anybody understands what's happening. Did you see that thing about some guy who said he was a time traveler from, and in 2015? Yeah. Yeah, I did.

2015 said he was a time traveler from 2020. Yeah. And then he, he said this all shit that's going to happen and now it's happening. Everyone's like, yo, this guy's really a time traveler. But I'm like, I don't know if this is real or not. He's probably just a TikToker. But yeah. Yeah.

What do you, because I find myself, I mean, someone listening to this show or Agent Jeans, he goes, Christina, I'm going to start a drinking game every time you say, back in the 90s, I'm going to drink. And I was like, I must be doing that because I'm trying to wrap my head around what the fuck is happening. And the last time I remember shit being sane, I felt like that's what, you know what I mean? Like the 90s is when I became an adult. So now I'm like, am I just being 44?

Am I just middle aged? I know. You lost weight to the filler. Thank you to try to hang in there. I know. But like, you know what I mean? Like what the fuck is going on? Russell, you tell me.

I don't know, dude. I've seen, you've got to figure it out. I've seen the 70s, 80s, 90s. Yeah, 2000, 2020s. I've seen five decades. All right. And it's fucking insane. This is just watching.

It's not, it progressed and then it hit a wall and now it's regressing. Yeah. And now they're trying to erase history and shit, you know. Is that how you feel about the like monuments and stuff being taken down? Yeah. I mean, you need that shit there. You're not, you got to look at it as not a celebration anymore, but as a reminder. Right.

It's like a scar. You know, you can get the scar removed, but the fucking thing still happened. Right. That's right. So you just need those things. They're good to look at. So you can go, fuck, don't want that again. We should have more Hitler statues if we're thinking like that.

I feel like. 01:45:41,600 --> 01:45:42,400 There you go, Tom. You know what I mean? At least couple. A couple. A couple of big ones though. Yeah.

But like in the right States, you know what I mean? In the right States? Like not in New York. No, no, no, no. Not in Florida, you know. Only in the Southwest. Like in the Midwest. Sure.

Like Oklahoma. And over the Jews don't really have a stronghold. Right. And they're like, is that guy again? That's Chaplin? Oh yeah. It's funny because my grandfather had a Hitler mustache. Oh yeah?

Yeah. So when I have, when I look at pictures of them, either look like Charlie Chaplin or Hitler. Yeah. And I was like, so looking at Hitler as a kid, I was like, is that grandpa? And I was like, no, no, that's, oh, that's the guy that killed the Jews, my fault.

It's always the most bold memory to think of when Jordan rocked one for like six years. And he was like, I am so famous and so great that. But his was gray, wasn't it? No, no, it was black. It was black. And he was just like. Uh-uh, for real?

Dude, he did a commercial. I did not know this. Oh, the Hitler. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. And you know that he showed up on set. And the director was like, uh, and then they're like, you can't say anything to Michael Jordan.

He's like, okay, okay. All right. Do you want to? Okay. Yeah. He was the goat of basketball. I guess it was the goat of genocide. Yeah, it's like, that's what we do.

What if Eddie Murphy's first special back? He's like, I did a little something for y'all. He had one too, didn't he? He might have. Yeah, he did. Eddie Murphy had one in the 80s somewhere. Oh, that's right. Like coming to America.

Because he's always had the mustaches. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Mustaches is an interesting choice, man. Yeah, there you go. Someone did put him next to Hitler, didn't they? Oh, you know what it was? He had the gap in the middle.

There it is. Oh, the gap. Yeah. Somebody Hitler. I think somebody, that's the thing. That's terrible. That's definitely not a real one. It's terrible.

Jesus Christ. What do you think of his return to stand up? I'm excited about it. Just to see it. Yeah. Me too. But I'll tell you something. I got not inside information,

but in like January or February of 2019, Tiffany Haddish took me to Eddie Murphy's house. Oh, my God. And it was this night that I wasn't supposed to be there. Yeah. I just, I had Tiffany text me and it was like, I just had dinner at Ted Sarando's house. And I was like, cool.

And she was like, now I'm on my way to Eddie's. And I'm like, Murphy? And she's like, yeah. And I go, now that's cool. And she goes, you want to come? And I go, hell yeah. She goes, I'm going to come scoop you. So she came and picked me up from Boa on Sunset.

And we went up to Eddie's house. And when I walked in, the first person I saw was Jamie Foxx. And then I see Neil Brennan. And then I hear behind me, oh, is this what all your comedians do? Just hang out with each other. And I turn around his Q-tip. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I look at the bar and I see Sasha Baron Cohen behind the bar.

And I'm like, is this, am I dreaming? I see Bill Hader, Patton Oswald. I see Sasha Baron Cohen's wife sitting there at the bar. And I'm like, I love Fisher, right? Yeah, I love Fisher. And then Eddie walks in and, hey, Russell, thanks for coming. I'm like, Eddie Murphy knows my fucking name. Wow.

And I'm like, thanks for having me. My voice is cracking. And anyway, long story. And then Chris Rock showed up and Chappelle was there. And I was like, what the fuck? Jimmy Kimmel was there. Was Allie Wong there? Allie Wong was there.

She told us about this dinner party. Allie Wong was there. So was Tig Notaro. I can't believe they didn't invite the Segaros. Jeff Ross was there. God damn it. No, it was like a hang in his basement. He had a bowling alley, an arcade, like a real arcade.

Wow. Like with the big games. Like the ones that are the size of your desk, the ones you sit in and shit. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. And then I went and grabbed a drink and I started sipping. And I go, am I out of my mind?

I'm not drinking this shit tonight. I want to remember every single thing that happens here. Put the drink back down. And did you hang for hours? So I ended up getting stuck because I went with Tiffany. And she's floating around. She's a social butterfly. She's kind of like the toast of the town as well.

So I'm not trying to shadow her. I'm like, just let her do her thing. End of the night comes and everybody's leaving. And I'm sitting, I'm just leaning against a wall by myself. And I'm like, I see eight of Eddie's kids sitting there. And I'm just some fucking creepy guy that they don't know. Who's leaning against the wall. And I see everybody leaving, going up the stairs.

And I'm like, fuck, fuck, where's Tiffany? Where's, but, and then I see Kenya Barris going upstairs. I go, Kenya, don't leave without me. I don't want to be the last one here. So I followed him up when I got to the top of the stairs. I'm like, the door was wide open. They just wanted you to get up and get out. And I was like, hey, um, I came with Tiffany and I don't know where she is.

And they're like, oh, uh, and then one of Eddie's kids walked by goes, oh, I think she went in the backyard. I'll take you. So I'm, I go to the backyard. We find her. She's with Chappelle, Eddie and Arsenio. And I'm like, this is already insane. I'm just standing, I'm just standing there with Eddie Murphy,

Arsenio Hall, Tiffany and Dave Chappelle. And I'm like, and I'm not, I haven't said anything all night because I'm just in fucking shock. And I'm like, and then Eddie's like, it's cold. Let's go inside. And I'm like, okay. So we go inside. Now we're in his private living room.

We're not in his entertaining space. We're in his private space now. And there's two couches, one here, one here, like, uh, hell. And it's like me, Dave, Tiffany, and then four of Eddie's kids and then Eddie, and then Arsenio's leaning up against the wall. And Eddie's just showing us videos on the TV on YouTube. Just shit he finds funny. Oh, I thought you meant his stand up.

No, no, no. He's just showing videos on YouTube of things that he likes to watch to make him laugh. A guy named Brushy One String. He's a Jamaican guy who plays a guitar with One String. He makes some songs. That's rad. And like Bad Prince impersonators. Makes him laugh.

Yeah. And, uh, I'm sitting at the end, on the end of the couch like this, and Tiffany's on the other end, and I look over and she keeps like nodding off because she's exhausted. Anyway, eventually she just falls asleep. And I'm like thinking in my head, fuck, how am I going to get home? And then I start thinking, am I going to spend the night at Eddie Murphy's house? Because I don't want to be like, Eddie, can I get your address for an Uber?

I don't want to be that idiot. And I'm like, damn it. And it's like almost four o'clock in the morning. It's like 3.45 in the morning. Jesus. And, um, and Arsenio's like, all right, I'm out. And I go, hey, Ars, which way are you going? So I'm going to the valley.

I go, can I just get a ride to like Beverly Glen in Ventura? It's like, yeah, no problem. So I get in the car with Arsenio and, uh, we get to Beverly Glen in Ventura. I go, just drop me here. He goes, fat burger. You just want to be left at fat burger? I go, yeah, no, I'm going to get an Uber. He goes, I'm not going to leave you on Ventura Boulevard at four o'clock in the morning.

It's not what we're going to do. Yeah. I go, well, which way are you going? He told me, I go, I'm going like the next exit after you. I'll just get off at yours and I'll, I'll get home from there. He goes, no, no, I'll just drop you home. Yeah. Oh, so Arsenio dropped me home.

So Tiffany took me to Eddie Murphy's in Arsenio Hall. I've never been so immersed in a store because I so identify with you in that I can picture myself doing what I imagine you said you were doing, which is not speaking. I literally didn't say anything and I was in a doorway, uh, like, say we were just hanging out in a doorway like that with Eddie. I'm standing beside Eddie, um, and then Jamie Foxx, Neil Brennan and Chris Rock. And they're all talking to him about Eddie coming back to do standup. And he's like, see, it's like, I, I, I maybe have five minutes, but you guys are like doing

it every day. I haven't done it since 1989. And I'm like thinking in my head, I started in 1989. Like you stopped. I started. Wow. And then, you know, Neil's like, you know, I have a spot if you want to come on down. It's safe.

You know, we record you. And I'm like, and I'm just like listening to everything going, what the fuck. And then Chris Rock's like, this motherfucker been saying he's coming back for 30 years. He ain't never gone on stage. And I'm like, and I'm just like, I'm not saying I have nothing to contribute to this. What am I going to tell you? The funny thing is our, our Cineo, uh, that's like a regular hang for him. Yeah, it was nothing for him.

Yeah. He was just like, all right, I'm out. Yeah. Jeez. Wild. That's wild dude. It was a really great story. So I always will forever be in debt to Tiffany Haddish for taking me there.

Yeah. Yeah. Like shitty house I imagine, right? Yeah. What a dump. And you know, it's funny as people come to my house to go, wow, I'm inspired. And I walked in here and it starts to go, wow, I'm poor. I wanted to bring up a memory I had a million years ago.

Great memories. Thank you. When I was in London with you guys and I forget, maybe it was your brother had told me a story about somebody rubbing your mother's feet, the foot rubs. Yoshi. Is it Yoshi? Yoshi. Rubbing your mother's feet.

Yes. So what's your mom like a foot rub fan? No, you know, mom's old. Her feet hurt. Yeah. She's a little heavy and a little short. So Yoshi will do it, you know. What won't Yoshi do?

Exactly. But yeah, it's like. Yoshi is at a lab right now. Yeah. Probably. Getting COVID infected in his eyes. He's in, well, not in his eyes. But yeah, my mom loves Yoshi and Yoshi loves my mom.

So Yoshi kind of feels like my mom is his mom because, you know, he's so disconnected from his own family. Yes. Yeah. That's to put it lightly. Yeah. So yeah, but my mom harasses him like she'll pinch his ass and stuff. Oh, really?

Yeah. Come on, Yoshi. You got a nice bum. And then he's like, oh, why does your mom do that to me? It makes me very uncomfortable. Oh. Wait, do your Yoshi boys tell you? Well, talk about a, like I talk about a porn star.

He's like, man, he's a very strong performer. Yeah. Yeah. So me and Craig Gass will call each other and just have absolutely ridiculous Yoshi conversation. Won't even conversation be like, oh, hey, Craig. I just saw Rosa Peters. Uh, he say hi.

Oh, oh, by the way, Craig, microphone say hi. That is literally what we do. It'll be like, I'll just text him. I might even text him right after this. It'll be like, oh, hey, Craig, uh, Black Lives Matter say hi. I'm going to text him right fucking now and do it. Yeah. Yeah, let's come on.

What's up with Yoshi if he's in the lab, if he can talk right now. He's a no, I'm texting Craig Gass. Oh, oh, oh. If I eat the pussy, I eat the ass. I got nothing. Yeah. But then he liked Jews too. He was like, Jews are fucking amazing.

Oh yeah. Jews are fun. Why did you make him Chinese though? I don't know. I don't know how to do his accent. He has a very peculiar accent. Yeah. It's not quite Japanese.

Uh, yeah. No. So, and he closed his eyes a lot. Yeah. 01:56:42,800 --> 01:56:45,200 Hey, uh, uh. Frankfurt has a best, uh, prostitutes. Oh my God.

So, I would tell you about this time, like I must have been around 2006, 2000s. Yeah, I must have been around 2006. I got pneumonia and, uh, I'm at my house when I lived in the Hollywood Hills there. Yeah. And I'm sitting on the couch with a blanket just in front of the TV, shivering and watching TV.

And Yoshi had the code to my house. So Yoshi walks in and he goes, hey, how you feeling? And I go, oh, fucking, ah, I feel terrible. And he holds up two cans of soup. He goes, anyway. He goes like this. He goes, hey, how you feeling? And I go, oh, thanks, man.

Put it in the kitchen. So he goes to the kitchen and then, uh, I'm sitting there and he comes in the room with a bowl of soup. And I go, oh, no, Yoshi, I'm good. Thanks. He goes, oh, you want one? And I'm like, what the fuck? I go, no, not right now.

Oh, okay. And then I go in the kitchen, maybe like a few hours later. I go, Yoshi, where's that other soup? Oh, I ate it. You wanted it? I go, I thought you fucking brought it for me because I'm sick. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know.

I got hungry. The first time I actually met, I don't think he remembers. He actually, he actually, uh, jabbed it. It was at Russell's house. Yeah. Yeah. So I was at Russell's house and like, I think we got to Russell's house and I just see this Asian guy chilling.

I was like, who's this fucking guy? He's like, oh yeah, that's Yoshi. I'm like, he's just in your house. Because yeah, he just, it was like two in the morning. He's like watching TV, eating. I was like, you live here, bro? He was like, huh? And then Russell's like, this is Yoshi.

And then Russell goes, this is Tom. He's very funny. He goes, oh yeah. I go, I'm just sitting there like, uh, you know, like you're the person you're like, I don't know. And then something about my manager came up. He was like, you said something like, yeah, you know, he's with, he's with so and so and so and so. And then Yoshi like was taking a bite.

He goes, you must be real edgy. Goes back to, I was like, I don't know this fucking guy. I'm gonna walk out of here. Whenever people meet Yoshi for the first time, they can either get their feelings hurt. Yeah. Because you start overthinking yourself. Like when my mother met Yoshi, she thought he hated her. He just fucking sat beside me and didn't say anything.

I go, yeah, that's about right. That's Yoshi. No, no, he hates me. I go, no, no. He didn't even realize he was doing that. He turns out to be the sweetest. He's so sweet. But the first time he came on your mom's house, that's the first time I met him.

And he was like, uh-huh. Yeah. Like, you know, when he listens and he's like, mm-hmm. He does that. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. He's like, well, let me tell you. I work for them and then he's a psychopath.

And he's a horrible person. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. He's not good. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that. Hey, Tom, I wouldn't remember one time. Because I have put him on my shows quite a bit just so I could make fun of him. Yeah.

Because he still doesn't know the difference between like plural and singular. So I'd be like, hey, it's okay. I order a food. I go, yeah, what food do you want to? Is it okay if I order a chicken? A chicken? Do you want one multiple chicken? But that's true.

Double anal hurts. He knows double anal. Yeah, double anal can't feel good. I mean, I mean, you have two dicks in ass and then, uh, then the cameraman, like underneath. She's a real animal. She's like a rough text. But he says strong performer. Yeah, strong performer.

Strong performer. He's a strong performer. Here's the thing that she would get bruised in the face, but she'd love it. That's such a psycho. Okay. Yeah, he over here, how we became friends, I met him in 2003. Yeah. How did we get Yoshi into our world?

I met Yoshi at Just for Laughs in 2003. He just came to hang out and we ended up hanging out. Hey, so you like porno? And I go, yeah, I mean, yeah, I have a penis and everything. Yeah. So he gave me a stack of porno and then I, you know, I was an avid watcher. In the, you know, 70s, 80s and 90s. Sure.

So I started naming off. Hey, what happened to this one? He's like, wow, you have a great knowledge of porn. Like he made it sound like it was a good thing. Like a gift, yeah. You know? Yeah, he really know your stuff. I'm like, yeah, if I only knew a better stuff.

You're right. Like we're not talking about cars right now. Yeah. We're not talking about something that's going to help me in the real world. Right. Hilarious. You are a, you were, I've actually made this joke before that I go like, I love hip hop and then I'll say, well, I thought I liked hip hop until I met Russell

because I feel like my knowledge is one, one hundredth, but it is cool that I feel like all my hip hop dreams are have started to come true because of you. Like I, I met big daddy Kane because of you. Oh yeah. I called you and Kane was at my house and Tom, can you come over? Cause Kane was at my house and I was like, yo, you know this Tom Segura comedian. I go, yeah, that's my boy.

Yeah, he's a funny dude. He made a joke about me. I like him. And I go, I go, Kane, you're going to, I'm going to invite him over. Is that cool? Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to meet him. That's when I called you and you came fucking right over.

Oh yeah. Yeah, of course. I could not believe it was happening. I mean, I still have the voicemail habit actually. Oh yeah. We called you, right? Yeah. Cause the whole joke was sub Kane and the voicemail starts sub Tom, big daddy Kane.

I'm like, what? And he's like, I'm chilling at your boy Russell house. And then Primo hits me about you and he's like, yeah, so Tom's going, you know, Tom used to open for me. Oh word. Yeah. Now he's a funny motherfucker. Dude.

Yeah. Primo's a great guy. Oh my God. And like, you know, borderline obsession with like, you know, his body of work and he's such a nice guy. Yeah, his body of work is insane. So crazy. It's so ridiculous.

I mean, I think like the casual fan who might say like, oh gang star. Yeah, they're, they're dope. And then you go like, yeah, but you realize all these other records are J. Roo group home. Fucking MOP. KRS one. KRS one. No, it's not.

It's like biggie. It's like, dude, this is insane. I'm, I'm doing a documentary on D&D studios. You are? Yeah. It's me, Primo. We've been filming it for years. Well, yeah.

Cause you also, you EP that series. Hip hop evolution. Yeah. Which is fantastic on Netflix. And we did four seasons for it's really good, man. Did you watch it all? Yes. It's really, really good.

Oh, you got to see the, I'll show you the trailer we made for D&D studios. It just needs to be finished now. Well, because I feel like you're so well versed. I just wanted to get your opinion on something. Okay. So right over here. This is a man's world. Whoa.

But it wouldn't be nothing without a woman of a girl. Did Yoshi send you this? He may have. But I want you to check out these rhyme skills. Okay. You know, I hear all the time that watermelon selling is a job for men. And after a couple of years, I guess I understand. We work long hours and the job is tough.

And if lifting 50 ball melons just wasn't enough. I bake all day in a hot summer sun, then I go home and cook just for fun. So if life was a circus, I'd be the strong man. I got the world on my shoulders and here I stand. So tell me again, this is a man's world. I mean, would you have any notes? No, I think she's doing great. Okay.

I think the notes would just be. Keep on. Yeah. Keep on. 02:04:18,080 --> 02:04:18,800 Keep it on, lady. Yeah. Keep living.

A new. I imagine. A sweet. A kinder, Russell. I like her dress. You are. Yeah. You seem gentler.

Is it? Is it just? It's a mellowing with age. 02:04:29,280 --> 02:04:29,920 Yeah. Age. 02:04:30,320 --> 02:04:30,960 How's this?

You, there's all types of fetishes in the world. Do you know that there's such thing as a murder fetish? Oh, fuck. That's weird. Yeah. I have a foot fetish. You already knew that. And I've seen you do the episode with your wife.

You talked about your feet. Oh, yeah. I've got good feet. You do. But also. I'm going to chop your head off. Little. Keep going.

She must be itchy. Keep going. Oh, she's scratching. Ever, ever, ever, ever. I'm going to shoot you a hundred and sixty-six times. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of bullets. I'm going to shoot your ass.

I'm going to shoot you in the chest so I won't. You want me to score it? Yes. I'll get it. Man, make a mess. Make a mess. Make a mess. I say that, actually.

Make a mess. He's like, taking these shades off. Oh, my god. She's slapping the shit out of herself. For the murder fetish. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. I don't.

I don't have a murder fetish. Yeah, I don't either. Do you think these two know each other in real life, or this is just a random. No, I think this is pretty random. It's the random killer she has. Oh, wow. You can just, I guess I'm very naive.

Just find a guy that'll do that for you. I mean, I guess there's something for everybody, right? Yeah. There's definitely. I used to be embarrassed of my foot fetish. Really? Yeah, because it was like, and people were like, why feet?

What's wrong with you? And I realized I thought about it one day, and I was like, you know what it is about feet? It's like a credit report. Because that's one thing you could see. Right. And if that's fucked up, we will not be going any further

with the loan of my penis in this. Right. There you go. And that's true. I take very good care of mine. I remember you did that episode. I mean, watched it, it was great. Yeah, I mean, but it is a window into that person's world, right?

Yeah. Because you can see. It's a report card, yeah. I'm a detail guy, so you can take care of that detail. Right. That's true, if they're funky. Imagine what the fetish badge is. Look, you can be born with fucked up feet,

and that's not your fault. It's not. You're just not for me. Well, there's always the soul. I mean, the upside down could fix it. Right, right, right. You could have the meaty souls, as they say.

02:06:41,600 --> 02:06:42,400 Sure. I think I've said way too much right now. No, it's perfect. I love it. It's fine. Is that what you like? 02:06:47,120 --> 02:06:47,120

02:06:47,120 --> 02:06:48,400 Do you like shoes today? I am, yeah. They're covered. They're fully covered. Do you like a meaty soul? Is that what you're... Everybody likes a meaty soul, so you get the good wrinkles on it.

Good wrinkles, yeah. Okay, okay. And I don't like this when they separate the toes. I'm like, that's fucking weird. Also, we broke down. What's up with long toenails? Run on, that's weird. I don't like that.

But why is that even an off? Like, why do they offer like, oh, I can give you a nice pedicure and keep these real nice and long for you? Yeah, no, I don't understand that. Because sometimes you see them painted and like, you know, cleaned up, but they're super long.

It's not hygienic. I mean, maybe they're part koala bear and they want to climb trees. That's true. Yeah. It's so strange to me. I think you eucalyptus with it. I like it.

We all have kids. How old is your boy now? We have a four and a half-year-old and a two-year-old. Oh, wait, yeah, you got a second one. I caught that a second, bro. He's two. He's two boys. Yeah, two boys.

When did we see you in the neighborhood? When you had the one. You didn't even have a second one. We didn't have the second boo-boo yet. Damn, that was so weird. You were going for a walk and I go, Tom, you were like, hey. Yeah.

That was my ex-wife lives right here. That was so strange. That was crazy. Because we were leaving like 10 houses down or something. Yeah. And I hear Tommy and I'm like, who the fuck is yelling that from here? I know.

And you were like behind garbage cans, too. Oh, yeah, you couldn't see me. I was like behind a bush. I'm like, hey, like a fucking raccoon. It's like a fucking Russell Peters in the trash. Do you do the, you did the whole tooth fairy thing and all that with the? Yeah, I mean, I'm never really there when that happens.

It's never happened on my watch. But yeah, I think I tell my ex-wife, put some money under the flag. Have you thought about doing so, taking it to the next level? This is what you do with the children's baby teeth after you've collected them as the tooth fairy. So the first thing you want to do is soap them with lemon juice.

And here's why. First, it will disinfect. It's a natural disinfectant lemon juice. Do you feel like this is exclusively for white people? Oh, yeah. I mean, who the fuck's put it? And how many fucking teeth did she get? I know.

What is that, a shark? What does she get? They look like a green giant made those. Yeah, it's quite a bit. It looks like a corn nose. It's going to clear away all that old enamel. You know, this is left over from the murder fetish. Right.

I know. This is so strange. Why does she have so many fucking teeth in her house? Scrub away at that. You have to do that with human teeth. You have to do that. They end up. So then we're going to pop these in the oven.

No. There we go. Yeah. Steaming hot teeth. And fresh teeth. All of the longer teeth here. And I'm going to start gluing them around the bottom. Oh, for fuck's sake.

This is a great Mother's Day present. It is not a great Mother's Day present. It is not a great Mother's Day present. You both said that at the same time. You both said that at the same time. You buy and sell. That is horrible. This is not garbage to a mother.

And how many fucking kids does she have? Well, are they just random teeth? This shit's on Etsy, dude. You can buy this right now. Ready? Wow. Oh, this is so great. Mom, thanks.

Oh, yeah. You know what happens? Funny, the kid smiles. She's got gums. Just like, Mom. You wear that out and then people go, oh, wow, you're a real stable person. You have 100 teeth on a necklace.

This is insanity. I mean, oh, she did say, we skipped over it, that if you don't have enough of your own children's teeth to make this, to go to a neighbor's house and ask them. And fuck their kids up. And take their teeth. What are you guys doing with his teeth?

You're going to keep them? And how come they're so big because the kids' teeth are tiny? Yeah, that's a good point. So I think she goes to cemeteries. If you, I know. Where do you buy human teeth on Amazon? It must be Amazon or eBay or something. I think the lady that she put it on is like...

Click on the banner at the bottom of the homepage. I think the lady that she put them on is like, I don't think that I should be wearing this. Yeah, it's so gross. It's really, really weird. You can buy teeth. You can buy a bag on Etsy. I said Etsy.

I called it. Bro, you can buy anything on Etsy. You could get plaque on your chest. That's true. I got some chest plaque, Doc. Because I've been wearing my kids' teeth around my neck. I don't even know about Etsy. Oh, yeah, you buy bullshit on there.

Did I buy this? No, I didn't. I bought many things on Etsy. Most of my fashion these days, necklaces, ridiculous necklaces. Well, before Russell gets out of here, I mean, shouldn't we show him a couple of your curations? Yes, please.

Are you on the TikTok yet? I am not. No, I'm a grown man. Okay. Wait until you see what I've been finding. I heard you, bitches, was looking for me. Okay. So we pull TikToks and we just like to...

You can watch on this. Yeah, you're watching this game right here. Just tell us what you think. How do you feel? If you don't mind. Yeah, I just need your feelings. Crazy true story about the man that raised his arm and has not put it down in over 40 years.

This man's name is Ammar, and he has kept his arm above his head for over 40 years. He decided to raise his arm and keep it raised to disconnect him from all luxuries of the mortal life. That'll do it. He said that he dealt with extreme pain when he first raised the arm, but now cannot feel it at all.

The muscle in his arm has atrophied so much that he couldn't use it if he wanted. His arm is permanently stuck in this position and will continue to be for the rest of his life. Shouldn't he be like on buses and trains? So at least it doesn't look so weird, except for his fucked up dead fingers and... And first of all, his name is Ammar, not Ammar.

Thank you. Oh, it's Ammar. Ammar, you should know that. Ammar. I don't know, but Subash, that was my second... I think it'd be really cool to meet him and be like, hey, what the fuck's up with that guy's arm? Or you just tickle him in the armpit,

spray him with right guard, because it's his right arm. So he's not even trying to jack off. He's not, dude. He's over it. Oh, that's a good point. Or sign checks or do any... Can you imagine somebody when you go like, what's up, and someone's like, oh, it's a pretty cool thing.

He's never put his arm down. And you're like... What, in a couple of days? No, 40 years actually. 40 years. 40 years. Maybe he wants to get called on in class. Yeah.

I'm sorry, there's a question. No, no, ma'am, I am just weirding. I am just here to thank you. Because you don't want any luxury items. Yeah. And bidding starts at... This guy can't go to fucking auctions. There's so many...

He owes so much money to this guy. We should take him to like one of those Meacham automotive... I don't know if that's fucking... You know, the ones you see on TV. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God.

You know, everyone's got something. I mean, he's in a restaurant, and they're like... Dude, we'll get to you. Chill the fuck out. You just sat down. Goes to college. How many fucking questions do you have? Fucking armor.

So annoying, this guy. Who else does this to a cop car? Oh my God. Yeah. Michael. Michaela. Oh, Michaela. Like, he writes girls' names, like, bitches that you hate.

It's bold, dude. It is bold to be like, who else does this to a cop? And also, on your own tiktok, so... Not hard to find the guy. Little something called evidence that you might want to shake, if you're doing that. I mean, if we found it. That's really crazy.

Well, so here's the thing. I don't know if there's more of this guy. What he does... Oh, there are. Oh, there are. Oh, there's the next one. So you'll see... Because I was freaked out, too.

I'm like, how the fuck is this guy doing this? That is... That's... This guy's an idiot. And it's like really quick. It's not like he doesn't... Here we go. Who else does this?

I would beat the dog shit out of him if I fucking saw him doing that to my car. Marshall. It's Marshall. Yeah. During the... And you know what? People are going to blame Rogan's dog. That's what happens.

When the protests started, and they were showing riot footage, and J.R. Smith was out in the streets, and somebody... Oh, I saw that there in the Porsche. Some looters smashed his window, and he chased him down, and fucking started kicking. Beat the shit out of him. Good. That's what I said.

Good. Like, if you do that to someone's car, you deserve to get your fucking ass kicked, too. Absolutely. So, do you want to know what the story is? This guy runs a junk shop, where they junk these cars. And so, he's like, if you DM me, I'll write whatever you want in the car. So, at first I was panicking.

So, this is on a junkyard? Yeah, like he's going to destroy these cars, otherwise they're being impounded or whatever. But the bad thing is, people don't know that. No, I know. And then they're going to go and do it, because people are fucking sheep nowadays. Yes, I know.

We should do that. That'd be a good challenge. Like that fucking dumb one that's going on now, with the don't leave me challenge? What's that? It's like, they go, ring the bell and touch that pad. It's padding. You know, and you're like, don't leave me, don't leave me.

I don't know, it's fucking dumb as shit. Like they make a dumb joke, and then they're like, don't leave me. Yeah, like a dad joke, and then everyone's like, oh! That's fucking dumb as shit I've ever seen in my life. That's not even cool. It's not even cool, but you're seeing people do it, and you're like, why did you just do that? Yeah, there's one on TikTok that's like,

Tom, it's like I go up to you and I go, Tom, I think you could have been nicer to me today. And then the guy goes like, oh, I'm sorry, babe, or whatever. That's another like, Tom, I think you could have been nicer. What's the last one I should play? Tell me which one. Well, I mean, there's more videos from that guy. They're in that in that list.

Is there one to jump over? Yeah, I mean, you know, in all honesty, I love all of Christina's TikToks. Okay, here, I'll do one more. Thank you, and they want to throw God's wonderful breathing system out the door. If we have a second wave, I feel what we do to masking healthy citizens.

I will not tolerate putting a muzzle on my mouth to keep me from speaking to people, to keep me from them see my smile. It literally is killing people. And the people, we the people, are waking up, and we know what citizens' arrest is, because citizens' arrests are already happening. Okay, and every single one of you

that are obeying the devil's laws are going to be arrested. How will young children be able to know who the dangerous deviants are, like pedophiles and people in the human sex trafficking? How are they supposed to know before? For the same reason I don't wear underwear. Things gotta breathe. I'm also the daughter of somebody who lived through Germany.

You're forcing people to wear masks? They were forced to wear a star. I'm not wearing it. You're going to have to hold me down and put it on me. And I say Trump 2020, and I hope every one of you gets voted out who votes for a mask you're... People are fucking idiots, dude.

Look, I get the mask thing. You know what? It's for other people. You go to the store. You want to go to the store? Put your fucking mask on. Put your mask on. You want to not wear masks? Stay out of the store.

It's pretty simple. Sit in your front yard. Yeah. It's fine. But I love the rational arguments about this. Like, don't you cover God's glory? Yeah, it's always the fucking God's shit idiots. Yeah, it's so crazy.

Yeah. You want to adhere to Satan's wishes? The devil's mask. I'll tell you what, boy. If I can't breathe, then you can't breathe. And then we all can't breathe. And then breathing becomes a problem because the devil took your breath.

Well, that she likens it to wearing a Jewish star during World War II. Like, really, it's really not the same. I saw a post that said there was a guy with a KKK hood on, and it said, these are the same people that claim it's hard to breathe with a mask on. That's pretty good.

It's funny you can breathe with that on, but not with this on. Well, that's when you have the rush of love through your body when you know you're about to plan across or something to teach somebody. You know, for the Lord. For the Lord, God's with you, getting the darks out of this town.

And you're from Florida, so you've seen this shit growing up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. Trump 2020. I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Dude, this is so, it's so good to see you. It's so easy to talk to. We could have done this for hours. We should have. I know. Come back, will you come back?

Okay, let's do it again. We've been trying to do this for years. I know. It's really ridiculous to take this long. And then you guys became like a fucking huge deal. And I was like, now I feel bad asking Tom if I can do it. No, you're always welcome. Love to have you on.

I should have done this when I had a special to promote. Yeah. Do it again. You'll have another special. Next time. I don't know. I mean, you have nine. Nine, actually, yeah.

You really do have nine? I do have nine. I was saying that as a joke. I do have nine. I have nine. 95, 97, 2003, 2006, 2008, 2010, 2013, 2016. And this one, the new one, that's on. This is a really, uh.

So you have one right now. It's on Amazon. Yeah, it's on Amazon. Great. Yeah. Nobody complimented me. Nobody said hi. Nobody said thank you.

02:19:36,640 --> 02:19:37,600 Nobody said congrats. Yeah. Really? Not one comic hit me up that was like, hey, man, congrats on your new special. And I was watching all you fuckers have your specials come out.

I go, not one of these motherfuckers said congrats. But you know why? It's because you didn't specify where you can see it. It's amazon.com. Is it? H-T-T-P-C-O-N-S. W-W-W-W. Yeah, people are probably like,

I typed in Amazon and you see the forest. I don't even know where this is. This Tarzan showed up. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations. Yes, congratulations. Let me be the first.

Thanks, man. You actually are now. It came out seven months ago. So I'm really happy about that. That was deported? Yeah. Is that your favorite? I shot it in India.

You did? No way. Where? What part? In Bombay. OK. It was fun. How many people?

60, 70? No, it was small. It was like 10. Two nights with 10,000 a night. 10,000 a night. That was small. Yeah. And I had Jason Collings open for me on the phone.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I know that. And then I, in the fall. Ruben, did he travel with you? Ruben found. I was, Ruben, Ruben is amazing at helping me organize my set. And there's people who can really.

He can watch and go, this goes there. This should go there. And then he, and then I do it. And I go, oh, fuck it. Flow's so easy now. Yeah. There's some people that have that. He's really great at that.

Yeah. And then I had, when I went back to India in the fall to do some pickup dates, I took Jimmy Schubert. No shit. Yeah, it was fun. Did he have fun? Oh, yeah. He had a great time.

He's a great guy. Yeah, they're both great. You know, Jimmy Schubert's a really incredible magician. I found that out last year. Yeah. I didn't, I had no idea. When we were in my hotel room chilling, he started doing magic.

And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. Oh, God, no. It's something I used to do before. Yeah. I don't know what I'm fucking doing. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's fucking incredible. No, I fucking love magic. Yeah. I like magic. It's so fun. Yeah. He's got some really cool tricks. I bet he does.

All right, we got to wrap up. Russell Peters, we love you as always. Love you, buddy. Love you, buddy. I'm so happy for the Segura Pozitzkis. Yeah. Thanks, brother. Segutskis.

Segutskis. Well, you know some of the names. Dana Koontz, Wim Hof, George Hood, incredible human beings who achieved incredible human feats. We have something that can top them all. Pierce Parris is here. Ladies and gentlemen, give him a round of applause. I don't want to stand up.

You may. Oh, my Lord. Thank you. Wow. Wow. You changed our lives. And honestly, so many people have been blown away, entertained, amused, however you want to say it.

Because you are the guy who we first discovered as the man who put his own balls into his own ass and then pushed them out. And when we first saw it, we were like, like everyone's brain has been like, wait, what am I seeing right now? That's the first part of it. Yeah.

What am I seeing? One of my friends said, I thought it was a guy shitting into his own ball sack. Like because he didn't. He's like, I don't even know what I'm seeing. So first of all, welcome and thank you for coming. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

I'm so excited. There's so many things we can talk about. But since the video is what grabbed everyone's attention to begin with, can we talk about the origin of how this video came about? How did you come up with this idea to even try this? I was just sitting around one day in my bathroom and I was just like, I think I was like prepping

for a femdom scene. So like I usually come up. Femdom is when they're like super hot chicks like tie you up and just like beat the shit out of you and slap your balls and fuck you with strap on stuff. So but you primarily do gay porn, right? Yeah, primarily. I've done some straight.

I've done femdom and gay. You're a versatile performer. Versatile performer, yeah. OK, so you're sitting in the tub. First of all, you got a nice, let's start with the fact that you got a nice rig on you. OK, there's a big old piece. And I don't even think the idea like,

because a lot of us were talking about like, oh, this is impossible for people who don't have a big sack basically, right? You got to have the length. Yeah. Yeah, you got to have a really stretchy balls. Yeah. And you were blessed.

Hold on. I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm just so excited. Go ahead. You were blessed with hanging balls or did you stretch them out? I was, well, both, both, yeah. I was, I would say, blessed first. And then I just kind of like perfected the part of the hang.

You, how do you, do you tug on them for that? How do you get your balls to? I mean, well, I think over the, like my experience in porn, like they've been tugged a lot. So I think that's kind of helped it. Oh, wow. Do you have, OK, because here's one of the, I still want to get to like this specific moment.

But are your balls a little desensitized? Like, I like a little, like a hmm, or even a hmm. But like if, you know, if something's a little too, too much force, I am like, ah, fuck. But I feel like, like from seeing the video, I'm like, oh, do you not have that sense of, like, it doesn't hurt you as badly? No, no, they're not as sensitive.

I feel like it's, I feel like your balls are kind of like, like hot sauce. You kind of build up a tolerance. Wow. And yeah, like I grew up doing crazy stupid shit with my brother's all childhood, getting kicked in the nuts. 02:24:47,920 --> 02:24:50,160 So many times, weasel taps and shit, you know.

This is kind of a good message for Sean Evans, the host of Hot Ones. Maybe there's some way to combine hot sauce and your balls. OK, so wait, let's go to this day. But weasel taps, you mean a nut tap? Yeah, nut tap, yeah. Like weasel tap is the dick tap, dick tip. You aim for the tip, you know?

Yeah, aim for the tip, yeah. And then generally, it's like kind of like you can't really, you know, you hit one or the other, really. Yeah, you kind of miss a lot when you're going for dick tips. For sure. Yeah. So wait, you're prepping for your femdom scene. And does that mean you're like stretching out?

Like are you getting your? Yeah, yeah, I kind of like edged myself a little bit. And I like to like, I'm edging, I like to pull on my balls anyway, so I'm like naturally doing that. So, yeah, so I was just doing that and I was pulling them back and just, I don't even know. I was just like, wow, they're really stretchy. So I tried to like, you know, you know,

tuck them back, see how far they would go. I think I was like trying to hold them or something with my ass cheeks, you know, just to, I don't know. To tuck on the scene. Does it hit you? Oh, they're touching my asshole right now. Exactly. I was like, whoa, that nut is like perfectly lined up

with my asshole. And so I was like, wow, what if I applied a little bit of pressure? The funny thing is always has to be the right testicle first and then the left after. I don't know why. Why is that? Why is that? I think it's because my right just doesn't hang as low as the left.

It's just a little bit. It's a longer. Yeah, the left is longer. And that's always one that got fucking hit when I was younger, you know. Interesting. And that's the one that built the tolerance to take the strain of being in your rectum.

Now, there's a lot of things I've noticed is that, A, your rectum is spotless. What do you do? What's your regimen? Are you waxing? Are you shaving that thing? Just shaving. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, I've actually never waxed. She won't eat my scrum. She won't get down there and use her mouth at all. So hold on. So your asshole is clean. It looks beautiful. It looks spotless.

There was a lot of comments about that. I mean, a lot of women were like, this guy's asshole is good enough to eat out of. Like they wanted to put food in there. No, they were really like, you had a lot of compliments on your hygiene and the way it's kept. So then you're kind of poking your one nut in, and you're like, oh, this doesn't hurt.

Is your asshole, is it looser because you've done a lot of butt play? Do you think your rectum is looser than most? I mean, I think it's looser. It's just easier to control. When she's stimulated a little bit, it relaxes. It loosens up a little bit. So it's more trained to be able to do that. Yeah, I wouldn't say it's looser, but yeah.

And it's a muscle. Because you're used to it. It's a muscle, exactly. 02:27:30,560 --> 02:27:31,600 So wait a minute. So this is pre-seen and you get that, you discover that like, oh my god, the length and this could go in. Do you actually insert it then?

Do you do it? You're pre-seen. Do you actually put your balls in or no? No, no. It's actually, the only times I've really done it on camera in scenes was just been really spur of the moment where I'm just like, look what I can do, you know, offset and like, no way, let's throw that in there.

So the day that you shoot this femdom scene is when you discover the idea of it happening. And then do you go, I need to do this, I need to record this. And like, do you call a friend and go, we should shoot this? Or like, how does it like then, how does it evolve from the discovery of it can reach my butthole to like, I should shoot it and make this video? You know, I, you know, surprisingly enough, I didn't really get too excited about it. I was just, I don't know. Well, I just kind of thought everybody, it's like, people have done that before.

But then when I found out, I was like, nobody's really done that before. I'm like, well, shit. Then I was kind of like, okay, well, I should capitalize on this. So I would like, you know, shove them in my ass, then get screwed, like fucked with a strap on with them in there. Like I can get fucked with them in. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold another.

Oh, I've got tricks. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You figured out that you could put your balls in your asshole and then get fucked with them inside your asshole. Yes, I did. Wait a minute. And that doesn't, that doesn't hurt your balls to be pulled so hard. And it just, that's exactly what it is, the sensation of just pulling.

Like people would think that it's like something pummeling into them. And it's like, they kind of just like sit under it, like under it. But you need somebody who's got at least some like situational awareness, right? Like, hey, man, you know, my balls are in my ass right now. If you don't mind. Right. Well, I mean, most, most, most porn, like, you know, porn performers are pretty. They're pretty cool.

That's our job, really. That's by the way, you ever have, is, is there a, I mean, I always think it's fascinating to be in sex work and adult performance. Like, do you have scenes or you've had the experience where you're like, dude, this guy's a fucking dick. Like our people, yeah. And like, right. And then does that kill the scene?

Are you like, I don't even feel like doing this. Well, it's actually like, yeah, you get like some really queenie, queenie people that are very needy. Oh, very needy. And it's just like where it becomes like the work itself becomes like something that's recreational instead of professional and like most of us treat it like a business where there's some that are there just to hook up and you're just like, whoa, like. Is that the queenie stuff?

Like, what's, what's like a, well, they kind of, the queenie stuff is just like, it's more like needy being really needy. I know a lot of actors are like this with, you know, like needing certain things. They're very particular. They, you know, right. And there's just a few models. I mean, surprisingly, there's not that many that are like that, but there are some. Just like, like, oh, the temperature, the lighting, the thing.

And they're always blaming someone else if they're having problems. Like, oh, this is your fault or, oh, it's too hot in here. Unprofessional. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. So that's. So I have a question.

I noticed, okay, would I love about the video? There's timing. There's theatrics. But firstly, did you use lube to put your balls in your butthole or did you do this dry? No, definitely use lube. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

It just makes it easier and doesn't. Here's the thing that I don't even know that you know. Do you know when that video, like I didn't realize it at the time, when the video actually came out? No. Oh, it's going to absolutely blow your mind. When? What happens on New Year's? Celebration.

And what do they do? Like in New York. In New York City, the ball drops. That was, you did it to commemorate the ball dropping. It was my trivia. It was a New Year's. It was my New Year's ball drop. New Year's ball drop.

Brilliant. I couldn't love the video more and I just did. Yeah. It's kind of fucking fantastic. It's brilliant. It was opportune timing so you know obviously you're viral. Hey, don't be shy about it. Don't be shy.

That was perfect. So now, hold on. And what I love about this is there's a sense of urgency and momentum in the video. Tom, would you mind, could we play it just so that we could get reference here? Look at that. So what I love is you're running into frame. Like I have an urgent thing to say. Like why the run-in?

What was the choice to do the run-in versus just start like this? The shock value. You want to pull people's attention. Initially, any video, like any little like video that I want to do, I want to pull people's attention so they stay there and then I shock the fuck out of them. Yeah. And it's smart too that it starts like it could have started with you like already in this position.

That's what I'm yeah. And then people are like hold on like and you also would lose like you get more people seeing it by giving them the blank slate. Right. And then and by the way, people are so in tune to the to like being shocked now that I would show people the way this video starts, which is on, you know, which is on the this frame. No, not this frame.

This frame, I would show this people and they go, no, no, no. I don't know what this is because like people are so attuned now to like, you know, that there's something coming. So I would show them this and they're like, no, I don't know what you're going to show me. But no, people are tuned into it now. Well, my favorite thing to do is just send the text. Is this you? Oh, yeah, or is this your husband?

And then they're like, well, I have to watch this. And then you get them in the end. But there is, I mean, I'll tell you, there's a there's a wide. I mean, first of all, I just cannot believe I missed this at New Year's. But yeah, I'm so happy to be a part of its revival. Yeah, absolutely. But but people, yeah, there was a wide, wide spectrum of responses. Some people are like, you know, horrified or, you know, they're clutching their pearls over this.

But like, most people were like, like us, when they were like, how the fuck did he do that? Like, how did this guy do that? The other thing is, I think you might have been going here. No chocolate comes out when you put it. No chocolate. So do you clean your hole first? Yeah, totally. Oh, you do.

Enema yourself. Yeah. Okay, can you can you walk us through an enema? Like, just like what's like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the most like typical enema is like fleet enemas that you go to the store and buy. They really they fucking suck to get like fully cleaned out. Takes you like 45 minutes.

That's a pre is that a pre-seen thing you do then? Yeah. And you do it that way? The way the or is there a better way to shower like to have attachments on a shower? Like, you know, you have like, you know, the hand handle that you rinse yourself off with. You can disconnect that and then you put a little, a little tip that goes up in your butt and then you just spray up in your bum, jump out, sit on the toilet, release and repeat. How many times you have to do it?

Wow. I'm pretty good a lot like 20 plus 20. You gotta be kidding me. Yeah. That leaves you squeaky clean. Well, see the thing is, is like, you can either do it that way or you could be like the majority of performers that just don't eat for a day. And like, I literally cannot do that.

I will die. And it's just not healthy. And it's like, you don't need to do that if you know. But 20. Do you put warm water in there? I'm assuming or not? Yeah. Just warm water.

20 times. Jeez. Fill up, clean out. Take it down, take it down. And then you, you start to notice like the clarity comes in the water. Is that how you know? Yeah. Yeah.

And there was always like two cycles. So the initial one that's just sitting in the bottom comes out pretty quickly. And then it's the deeper one that you really want to make sure that you get. Okay. Right. Because you're, it's a, right, the large intestine. That's what Dr. Drew explains. That's the one that would be affected.

Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. All that kaka up there. Wow. Wow. Man, it's a lot of work to do an anal scene. What was the initial reaction? Because I feel like we're in the second wave. Were your upper intestines to this video?

When you initially dropped this video, what was the reaction? Did you get a bunch of? Oh yeah. Instant. Like, yeah. Well, it was like earlier in the day on New Year's and then it was just like, it went everywhere and everybody was getting it.

And he, but everybody in the industry, my brother, there's just, there's a car salesman and just like, bro, I just got this shit. This guy's fucking blowing his balls out of his ass. I'm like, sorry man, that was me. Wait, here's what I want to know. What does he say when you tell him that's me? He's not surprised at all. No?

No, no, no, no, no. I was this kid, I was this kid even growing up doing crazy shit like this. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, we grew up with like in the era of jackass. So I was like, be as a kid. I was like, I want to be like Stevo, you know? Yeah.

I bet Stevo would respect the fuck out of this video. Definitely. Have you ever tried, because you have a very long penis, to put your penis in your asshole as well? Yeah, I have. I can get like the, I can get like the tip, but it's like, there has to be like the perfect amount of hardness and softness. It's got to be like right in the.

Yeah, and that's kind of. And do you bypass your balls, or are you doing it in a different tail? Yeah, you want to, you don't want to push them to the side. Yeah. And just kind of like do a, you know, just put them in there. Yeah, I see what you're saying. Tuck it in. Fuck man.

Honorary out. Well, let's go because one of the things that Christina did know about was the running asshole challenge. Yeah, the running butthole challenge. This is, running butthole, sorry. So this would be, you didn't know what this was. I didn't know. This is what kicked it all.

This became huge because I remember seeing other people do this. I didn't know you had started it, but I know very much what this is. That's great. This is great. You know why I love this? And then everyone started doing this. This is what four year olds do on a regular, this is what our son does. This is so much fun.

Yeah, it's super fun. So everyone started doing this. Everybody, they all started doing this. Oh, I love this. And he has so meant, I mean, then you started doing other, I would say butthole tricks. Yeah, but did these other ones come after or before the balls in the butt? This was the very first one, the running.

The running butthole challenge, it kind of took off. I mean, it was like 20, it was like, started trending and then it started like multiple, like multiple of them started going viral and then it was just this huge 20 million people in like two days. And yeah, it was crazy. Wow. Well, I think I got like 180 performers to do it. So, and they have a ton of followers.

You're just kind of like. I gotta tell you, Pierce, there's nothing I love more than silliness. Nonsense. Nonsense. The level that this went to, like I'm literally shaking with joy inside how, how much fun you bring to the world. Well, you want to take it, you want to take it to another fun level? Let's do it.

Yes. Yeah. That's your butthold, that's you. Your face there. He's like, I feel. You felt it go in? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So wait, does it uncomfortable that I leave this up? You mean I'll take it? No, no, not at all. Okay. I do this shit for a living. Yeah. So, how did this, because it's a natural extension of like, what can we do with my butthole? But like, how did this specifically come to mind?

For people listening, by the way, because we have a lot of listeners, this is a gag that begins with a guy putting a golf ball and then the camera pans and you see the ball goes into a cup that is in Pierce's butthole. Yes. You're laying on your back, legs up in the air. So, how did this one evolve? Actually, my buddy, my buddy Johnny had the idea, Johnny Hill, and he was just like, dude, I had this idea.

We call it like the butt putt challenge and we just like putt. And then, so it's kind of like, I have these super bro friends that are like myself and my brother's growing up and it's just like, I always bring it to the next level. Though they'll have the baseline idea and like, this is how we make it work, you know what I mean. You're kind of like the PT Barnum of the prank world, of the anal prank world. You take it to the next level, you know how to do it. What kind of cup is it? Is it plastic or glass?

Actually, that is glass, but it's very thick. It was very thick. I always do my due diligence before I do these crazy stunts. Yeah. How do you do that though? Um, well, I just, well, it's thick, so I assume like. Okay. And you've seen like one guy, one jar?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, that's what it makes me think of. People commented that in the comments. Well, yeah, because they were like, oh my god, glass. The first time we saw that glass thing and you see it break in that guy's asshole, you're like, fuck. Yeah. And then like shards of it and a pull and he doesn't react.

He's like, he just pulls it out casually like broken pieces of glass. Um, so this one, I'm trying to give a hold on which one. Well, that's a really neat stunt. This is another similar stunt I like very much. That's the Hot Wheels one. So if you're listening, a little Hot Wheels goes down like a kid's, you know, what's it called? Spiral kind of track. Yeah.

Yeah. A ramp and it goes right into your butt. Also a cup in there or no? Yeah. Yeah. A plastic or glass? It was actually a plastic champagne glass that I had cut the end off and then sanded the bottom just to get that perfect shape in there.

Wow. And just like fit in there perfectly. You're handy too. This is great. That is neat. Now this one, I think, is the most jackass, silly, hilarious. I mean, this really does take it on a sense of comedy, stunt, funny. I'm excited.

It's so great. Oh! By the way, you deserve an award for that. Wow. I mean, okay. A man on a skateboard with, I don't know, an 8-inch dildo strapped to the front, riding that skateboard at a pretty decent rate of speed. I told him to make sure go fast because I wanted to go in there.

Yeah. I mean, there's a noise that you make that you can't really manufacture. You're like, oh, yeah. Oh, you shit. I mean. Here's the thing too, Pierce. Oh! But he had to make sure that he aimed it perfectly because had he just gone a millimeter,

you know, a centimeter up or two, he's just going to hurt you. Did you have to do multiple takes to get that right? Yeah. And the fact that the ramp itself is kind of thin plastic. So when his weight gets on it, it sinks a little. So therefore we cannot like, we can't accurately perfectly gauge exactly where it's going to go. So it took a little bit. See, this takes real planning.

And by the way, this is so silly. This is so outrageous. And it's such nonsense. And it makes me laugh every, I've seen it fucking 30 times. Still makes me laugh. I'm so happy it does. But also I have to ask too, because even vaginally to take, to do that, you know, you got to kind of be really primed for that.

Did you have to like kind of limber up your asshole or put lube? Like were you primed and ready? Yeah. So you like, I guess plus emotionally you're there. You're ready. I was laying there like, or I was sitting there like that and I was just, you know, using the skateboard and just kind of warming myself up with the skateboard prior. With the dildo, you mean?

Yeah, just kind of, yeah, with the dildo skateboard. The dildo skateboard, yeah, yeah. Do you have other like, are there other things in the works, other things planned that you want to do like in this space of like the jokey? It's a great lane. Yeah, I'm constantly coming up with random. I feel like I want to see something on a pendulum, like something swinging, you know, something like from a rope and then you see it.

It's one of those things that you, it's a great misdirect, right? Because as the video starts, you're like, what is that? And it's like swinging this way. And then when it comes back this way, it's in your butt. I mean, it would be cool to do like a swing set or something. Yeah. Couldn't do it at a park. No, a park would probably be bad.

You could buy a swing set. Yeah, that's pretty wild. We also did this one called anal archery, which I took this, I got a kid's bow and arrow and had a little target. So I cut a hole out and then I retrofitted the arrow. So I had a butt plug on the end. And so my friend sat around and they shot it and they would shot it, like shoot it through the target into my asshole.

Wow. That's on my Twitter as well. I didn't really send that link. Yeah, that's, first of all, very disappointing that I didn't get that link. But this is unbelievable. If you want to follow, and I highly suggest you do, Pierce, he's at Pierce Paris XXX. So that's P-I-E-R-C-E, Paris, P-A-R-I-S, X-X-X, tons of cool, hilarious adult videos. I see you did the bottle cap challenge with your dick, which is also very, it's very funny.

This stuff is great. Oh, I have to ask you a question. I promised, so there's these three great guys. They have a podcast called Escuela de Nada. They're Venezuelan guys that live in Mexico. And they had, I said I would ask a question on their behalf and here's what it is. What is more satisfying? Having your balls inside an asshole or having a pair of balls or balls inside your,

so having your balls inside an asshole or having other balls in your asshole. It's better having my balls in my asshole. Having your own balls in your asshole is the most satisfying. Because, you know, having it in there, you can hands-free pull on your own balls with your asshole. So I'll have to squeeze my ass and I'm pulling on my own balls. It's quite nice. Wait, have you ever had your balls in your asshole and can you get hard while they're

inside your own asshole? Yeah. And have you ever then had like, you know, had started having sex with someone or someone's blowing you while your balls are in your ass? Um, well, I think once or twice. Yeah. Wow. Is that an amazing feeling or no?

Yeah, yeah. It's totally different. I mean, you had to switch it up here and there. Yeah. You are a superman. I mean, I can't even, I'm not even sure. What have I seen today? I know.

You're blowing my mind, Pierce. I'm a huge fan. We've had actors, musicians, you name it, directors in this chair. They can all suck my balls out of my ass. You have made this completely the most fun. Seriously. Yes. We're huge fans, man.

Huge fans, Pierce. And we look forward to many, many videos and many new things for you. Is there anything you want to plug or promote aside from the Twitter handle? Anything you want to make clear? Anything you want to say at all before we go? Oh, no, not really. Well, this was a blot. I really appreciate you coming down here.

Yes, thank you. And yeah, I think the fans are going to be very happy to know that if you're lucky enough, if you're born with a little bit of a blessing, you might be able to achieve the same things, right? If you have a little hangy sack and you work at it. Yeah, just be careful and be patient. Don't hurt yourself. Lube up.

Lube up. Clean your asshole out and get the attachment on your shower. And then you go cuck us 20 times and then you're clean. That's a lot of shitting, Pierce. This is mostly shitting water. Will you encourage her real quick to eat my leg? But yeah, just make sure it's washed so it's not spicy. Do that.

You're going to taste the carbonara sauce. Is that right? Is that what it tastes like? Yeah, your mouth will start getting numb as it's burning and that even makes it even worse. Sorry. And that's just poo poo makes sure it's spicy? I think it's just sweat, sweaty butt, you know, with a combination of like stubble, rass is not completely shaved, you know.

Well, he's very hairy, as you can see, and very sweaty after he works out. So I'm afraid, have you ever done it with a bear? Like a, I mean, gay bear, not it? Yeah, I think I've done it once or twice. And do they shave up for you when you put your mouth on their asshole or they? Generally no. Because that's the aesthetic. That's the aesthetic.

So then how do you eat out a bear's butt hole? Because that's what I'm dealing with. Yeah, you kind of just, you know, spread it as far as you can and just try to get the meatiness of the asshole because the hair surrounds it. You just kind of like tell them to pucker a little bit, push it out, and then you have more, more surface area to work with. Do you have a preference if you're going to, would you rather work with like a, like a hairless, you know, I mean slight built guy or like a big jack dude,

or is it just depending on the day? It really depends on the day. Really? Yeah, it's more like, it's more like just the personality and connection with the person on set. Yeah. Where you're just like. You don't have a physical type, like who's, you know, otters, you into bears,

you into twinks, you into, what do you, what do you? Uh, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't want to say I have a specific. Is there, is there a lot of new, like do you get to, do you hook up with a lot, or work with a lot of new people on, or is it a lot of repeat? Like, oh, I know this guy. Actually a lot of new, like once you get, like once you become like an A-list name, then they're just kind of like, then they, they put you with all the new people,

because your name sells, and they want, also the studios are trying to, you know, get the next new name. So they, they pair the new guys with the A-list. If you know, it's another question I have, if you know you're going to shoot something, let's say Friday, do you withhold yourself from sex for a day, or two, or anything like that, or no, everything the same? I try, I try my best. You do?

Sometimes, most of the time I'm just, fuck it, but like, yeah. And then they get a couple drops on set, and the director looks at me like, you jacked off yesterday, I'm like, yeah. Oh, wow, and he can tell, he can tell. Yeah. Um, was I going to ask you, I had a good one too, fuck. Okay, so you're considered now like an A-list talent? Yeah, yeah, I've won like, multiple Perform of the Year awards, and um, yeah.

Do you get recognized ever? Yeah. People are like, you're Pierce, you got stuff in your butt, or whatever. What do people say to you? Yeah, that's probably what they say. Hey, you're Pierce, you got stuff in your butt. Well, they're nice saying it, they probably don't recognize my face, they recognize more my ass, but if anything, but.

Could you give our friend, um. Are you on OnlyFans? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm definitely on OnlyFans. Oh dude, how are you not plugging in? And the nice thing is like, all my OnlyFans, I'm actually showing like, the behind the scenes, the shit, that like, when it's not working, and uh, yeah, so they get to see a lot more like, of what it's actually like, and to actually make one of these videos.

We are subscribing. One of my friends, just, oh, we're definitely signing off for your OnlyFans. Yeah, we're on it. One of our friends just started on OnlyFans. Yeah. Uh, Robert, um, I think he's here. This guy. Hi, welcome home.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I think I'm here. I'm your high-levels, Robert Paul's doing things. Yeah. Yeah, hey Tom and Josh. Shit. Hey Tom. Josh. Yeah, come on, come on over.

Try it out, baby. Smoking stroke. Yeah, bring your friends, let's get wild. There's some wild male motherfuckers here with me, man. Black, Latino, all motherfuckers out there. Yeah, he's trying to... He reminds me of the Tiger King. I'm pretty sure Tiger King was out of prison.

He would probably have an OnlyFans. You're 100% right. It would be probably pretty awesome. Now, OnlyFans is really great for, for you adult performers, right? Because like, it's like, you control your own content, and the money goes to you. I mean, I'm sure there's obviously like a fee from them, but like... Yeah, and it's trending right now.

Like, it's crazy. Like, you hardly have to do anything, and it's just like people are just like... Great. Great. Well, Robert, I mean, sounds like you're hearing from a real pro here. You got to just keep doing it, right?

He's just got to keep... I mean, yeah, if his shit went viral like that, then he's probably making good money. Nice. Would you hook up with Robert? I mean, I don't know. Depends on the price. I mean, what's this?

What's my scene rate? That's the thing about you guys, you're... You're in shape. You're like really fit, and you have a huge dog. I don't know how that's relevant to anything. I don't know. What does that have to do with what we're talking about? It's too bad you're on the other team, is all I'm saying.

It'd be nice to see him do... Jesus. It's not something I could watch. I don't know. You can watch, right? Yeah, you want to play tic-tac-toe in my face, man? Tic-tac-toe. Then you put X, X.

That's amazing. Oh, yeah. Oh, you missed one. I know what he's got. I just love Robert. Sorry. He's great, yeah. Yeah, he's great.

His charisma is just through the roof. Right? That's what I think. Yeah. There's something very engaging about him. It's natural stage presence. Yeah, and you have that quality too, though. There's something in you, your natural showman.

Do you... Here's the thing, because this is one of the things that came up about our friend Robert here. When you ejaculate, there's an ejaculating in your personal life on camera. Do you make it more theatrical on camera? Like, in other words, everyone knows it feels good, but do you dial it?

Like, do you give it a performance when you're going to... I exaggerate it. Actually, my exaculation is actually pretty much the same on camera as it is. It's definitely a lot more pleasurable and stuff off the camera, but basically, I do the same thing, make the same noises. It's a little amplified, a little exaggerated,

but basically, I still make the funny, funny come face from like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still do that on camera. Are you vocal with it? Are you? Yeah. Well, actually, kind of when I try,

I try to be, because it's more like holding my breath. Yeah. Like, I'm lifting too much weight. Yeah. Does Robert... We know that Robert really does a lot. Like, I don't know if this is one of them or not, but... You know, you had to do it with me in here.

Yeah, yeah. It's not the one I was thinking of. Yeah, I'm going to calm down. I'm going to calm down. I'm coming. Oh, baby. He's ramping it up. Oh, get off.

There he goes. There he goes. There it is. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's quite a... It's a bit dramatic. It's a very dramatic. It was a long one.

Yes. It's a longy. Yeah, he's... Yeah. That's quite a bit. That was very theatrical. All right. Well...

Just wanted to get that in for Robert. That's a good finish. Good way to end it. Chris, thank you so much for coming, man. This really was a lot of fun. Thank you. We even went way over our segment time, but it was totally worth it.

Really appreciate it. And we'll see you soon, man. Sounds good. Thank you guys so much for having me. Thank you, Pierce. So much fun. You should try it out. If you can handle it.

Scat break.