Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 562 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 29, 2020

SPONSORS: - Get $5 off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more, when you download the DoorDash app and enter code MOM. - Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play. - Get a 4-week trial PLUS free postage AND a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in MOM. - Use promo code [mom] for 10% off your first order at Brooklinen.com - Try the sample pack at drinkLMNT.com/MOM or by searching “LMNT” on Amazon.com. It's just Jean and Jean for this episode of YMH. Tom Segura and Christina P kick this episode off by watching a clip of some road rage in Australia. They switch gears to talk about their recent experience signing up for tennis lessons, which leads to Christina reminiscing about watching her dad play tennis. They also discuss their new favorite reality show on Netflix, "Indian Matchmaking," being prejudice toward certain dog breeds, and why BBC flagged our last episode. They call YMH All-Star Norm Summerton's tattoo artist, Derrick, for an update on Norm. They also call Top Dog to ask him some pressing questions. The Main Mommies then watch a new video from the Mousepad Cool Guy, an interesting take on dating, a guy walking a doll, a bear on a video chat, and a video of Fedsmoker's nemesis confronting Conald. They wrap up by watching a batch of Christina's TikTok curations.

Yeah, man. We're back. Welcome to your mom's house podcast. She's Christina. I'm Tom. This is where we deliver the news to you. I'm wearing my mask. You wear yours. Oh, yeah. That was great. That was pretty great. We've seen a lot of shit this week. Yeah, that was awesome. That was the first... I've heard these stories. I've seen videos. I follow Worldstar. I know that people get upset, but we actually got to experience it live and in person. That was cool.

A lot of Karen Flaves happening. So we'll get into it later. I just wanted to point that out that I keep you safe. Alright, so let's... Wait, entice me sexually first. Oh, yeah. I want to start this show right now, but my dick's all hard from looking at you. How you doing? I'm Tom. Hi. That's what I would encourage you to do if you're a listener, if you're single.

If you're like, I don't know how to talk to women. Try that. Well, eventually somebody is going to be really flattered by that. That's what I'm saying. You might strike out, but so Babe Ruth. And then you had a bunch of home runs too. But you've been enticing me sexually. This morning I stood in front of you topless and then you just wiggled your tongue around. And I was like, no. But I also woke up and I had my sleep mask over my eyes.

And you're like, hey, babe. And I was like, hey, my dick's hard over here. Yeah. Why don't you... It doesn't work with ladies, but do you think it works with... It does work with ladies. It does not. Don't tell them that it doesn't work. You got to tell them it does work with the right lady. You know who it works with?

Who? Pierce Parris and gay guys. But do you think that's how gay guys court where they're like, my dick's all hard? Probably. And guess what? They got it right. I know. They definitely have it right. That's how to do it. Gay guys know what's up. I know. Gay guys are like, oh yeah, this is a nice restaurant.

Do you want to just run the bathroom real quick? Butt fuck? Yeah. I know. How great is that for them? And then straight people are like, let's pretend that you have interesting thoughts. I know. Stupid bitch. Wow.

Yeah. This is severe. How many of my stupid thoughts? You've listened to my dumb thoughts for 15 years. You must be ready to kill yourself. A lot. Yeah. Do you know what?

Yeah. Tits aren't shrinking and then you make my dick not hard. Not harder. After it. You make it, it gets hard and then you do stuff too and then it gets not hard. How much? Now that I'm friends with Dr. Drew, I realize how much dick touches are so vital to men's well-being.

Look how chill he is. I know. He really has like, I mean, I'm saying of everything you know about him, it doesn't matter, but like you have to admit, anybody has to admit this man's demeanor is what you want in a human. Like when you see him, he's calm, you know, he's like, he seems like he's centered, he's in a good place. He's like, how do you get there?

You suck his dick four times a week? Four sucks. But here's the great debate in our world is are they full dick sucks? They're warm-up dick sucks. But the warm-up ends at some point with a finish. Sure. But I know, but in girl world, you can't call it a dick suck unless there's jizz in your mouth.

Do you understand? And this is like, it's an appetizer suck. So what? Does it count as a flu? It doesn't count. What do you mean it doesn't count? I just feel like she's getting credit. The wife is getting so much credit for four blow drops.

As she should. The four full beaches of full beach is the disgustingness of the semen in your mouth. Here's what happens. She's getting credit, extra credit. No, she's not getting extra credit. She's blowing him three to four times a week. Yeah. And what starts with a BJ ends at some point with an orgasm.

So it's not like she's like warming him up and then be like, I got to go walk the dog. They're finishing. She's finishing. But you're saying I can just put my mouth on it as a moose-boosh. Yeah. And then a finish and you'll count that as a dick suck. I mean, yeah. You don't have to go like full.

That's great because I don't want always to taste semen. I understand. That's fine. It's not good tasting. I know. No, I know. Sometimes I want to cover your eyes in it. You always go in your mouth.

All right. Let's start this. That's a good mood. I'm in a good mood. Let's start the show. This is fun. Ready? Yeah.

And go. Let's go for a ride. Let's go for a ride in a trap of it. Run over me. Come on. Come on. Come on. I don't care.

Run me over. Run me over. I'm tens of minutes. I'm having a breakdown. I'm having a mental breakdown. Fuck you. Run me over. Get the fuck out of here.

Run me over. Go. All right. Get the fuck out. Go run. Go run. Come on. Don't.

Hurry up. Open your eyes. Run my eye. Run. Your. Well. Welcome to your mom's house. Yeah.

When did that start happening? Pretty recently. You know, life is hard and a lot of stress and there's a quarantine and I don't get to do stand-up anymore. So I started drinking more. Yeah. As have I. Yeah.

Every night pretty much. And I started, you know, just kind of sipping on that. I think it's kind of discreet. Looks cool. I think people see somebody with a flask and they're like, that's pretty cool. Like it's a guy. It's like when you see a guy smoking out of like a old school pipe or a cigar. You're like, that guy's kind of sophisticated, you know.

So I've been doing it with my flask and yeah, I saw somebody and I was like, oh, that guy's got it together. He's drinking out of a flask and then I remembered when I was in high school, one of my friend's dads used to walk around with a flask and he's dead now, but he would drink all the time. Yeah. He would drink at our high school football games out of his flask and I was like, oh, your dad's pretty cool then.

You know what's funny though is that real alcoholics, I mean the ones that my dad used to play tennis with. Yeah. Those guys are really hard. Yeah. Like when they would play tennis and drink. Really cool story about tennis because we played tennis for the first time in a long time.

But hold on. Go ahead, go ahead. I'm saying that the real alcoholics that my dad would associate with, they don't even fuck with flasks. No, no, no, no. You just bring that sixer on the court. Right. Why would you bring a flask?

It's like too discreet. What, are you a pussy? Yeah. Just come out with it. You're an alcoholic. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah.

Why not make flasks that look like regular objects? Like wouldn't this be a better flask if they could camouflage it so it just looks like a ball of water? Well, yeah. I mean, people do that, too. They put alcohol in Gatorade bottles and stuff. They're just called poor. But it's, but it's, yeah, it's a fucking cell phone case that's actually for booze.

That's good. But it is. God damn it. If you saw somebody and you're like, can I use your phone? He was like, hold on a second. And he just started drinking out of his phone. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's perfect.

Yeah. There you go. That's alcohol. To mask your alcohol in that. What level are you? That's where people are like, you sure you're not drinking? I'm sure. Yeah.

I just converted to binoculars. The binoculars. That's dedication. But also I like that people can merch out their alcoholism like I'm a drunk, but I want everyone to know. So here's this flask and I've got my initials monogrammed on there. It's pretty something. It's amazing.

It is amazing. What are we going to say about tennis though? Well, so, okay. So we both grew up playing tennis a lot. I played tennis a lot when I was a kid. I'm kind of a pro. I love tennis. I love it too.

Then it's one of those things I just got away from it. So we were trying to come up with activities, our kids, our kids, but especially our older kid who was in school, can't go to school. There's no school anymore. Trying to come up with activities, you know. And tennis is a very low risk, a low coded risk. It's like a one. It's like a one.

And you know, you're not like standing next to someone. Yeah. So we take them to get a lesson. One of my favorite parts about the first lesson is that the first coach forgot. He forgot. And then we contacted the guy and we were like, we're here. He's like, you know, I thought I had something today. I'm like, what?

He goes, I thought yesterday I thought I had something and I was going through my emails and I couldn't find it. You found this one. Yeah. We're going back and forth now. He's like, I want to make it up to you. Now we're good. I'm done.

That's the second time he's flaked. The first time he was like, I'm sick or something like, okay, second time. Yeah. Like he didn't even have an excuse. He's like, I thought I want to make it up to you. Yeah, you can. I never contacted you. Yeah.

Lose my number. So clown. We took him to get a lesson. It's adorable to watch a little four year old take it lesson. And he loved it. So we were like, we're taking him again, but you just stand there on the court next to him. So we signed up.

Just let your dick get hard. Yeah. Your dick's hard. And all these girls with these tennis, tennis skirts are so short. So short. So your dick is leaking for the whole time you're playing tennis. I've never come so much. So then we said, you know, we both used to play tennis.

You want to do it again. Yeah. And it's been years. So they said, yeah, we can give your son a lesson on this court and then you can take a lesson at the same time at the neighboring court. Better than sitting and figuring your cooch the whole time. I'm like, this is great. We exercise, play tennis.

Yeah. So anyways, we do it together. We had to go and, you know, get a couple of rackets again. So we go to, this is our first, well, first, sorry, this is, I'm telling you two things. That what happened there. And then I wanted also, you told me the cool story about you getting to watch your dad play tennis. So when we go to get our rackets, we get in line and they're only letting, you know,

one or two people in this small store at a time. So we're waiting outside. You know, it's just like new, it's just quarantine rules, right? Yeah. You just don't hang out, chill. You hang outside and a lady walks up an older woman. I would say she's probably in her early seventies, late sixties, early seventies. She's dumpy.

Yeah. She was dumping in front of me and, you know, she goes, can I, would you mind, are you in line for the tennis store? We're like, yeah, we're standing right in front of the doors of the tennis store. And she's like, do you mind if I just grab one thing there? I'm like, sure. This is my favorite philosophy is the philosophy of someone who's like, I see that there's a line for something, but my needs, I think are lesser than your need.

Even though I don't know you and what you're in line for, I assume I should just, can I just go in front of you? So I go, yeah. And also when they're that crazy and earn, if you say no, then she'll stand behind you and talk to you. That's that's right. So I was like, you don't want that. Well, and what I noticed about her request is that it was, it was germ concerned.

Yeah. It was one of those like, excuse me, can I just, do you mind if I walk here? And I was like, I don't give a fuck. And she had a face shield on. Yeah, one of those. Like one of the, like a welding shield. And then a mask underneath it as well. So she had a mask and a shield.

Okay. Yeah. Like a dental hygienist. She was doubled up. Yeah. She was doubled up like that. Oh, such a way. I could tell you mind if I went around, I was like, go ahead.

It reminded me of years ago. I remember I was, I was moving. I was moving from somewhere and you know, they always get you, your cable company gets you on the equipment, right? Oh, that's the big scam. Oh, you're moving. You have to send us back your cable boxes and your remote controls or worse, or you can drop it off in person.

Well, when can I do that? We're open eight to three and it's in downtown LA. Oh, you work for a living? This is cool. Yeah. Too bad. So I take my cable boxes and my remote to the place. It's like whatever place, the cable box store.

And I was like, hey, I want to return these. And the guy's like, yeah, you got, you know, wait there. I'm dealing with this person. And then I was like, okay. And you're just waiting. And you know, he's like scanning, typing everything. And I'm just like. The boo boo boo boo.

I mean, at least 15 minutes, I've already stayed in there and just like a lady comes in and she was like, I'm here to drop this stuff off. And the guy's like, yeah, um, get in line. She was like, no, I'm just dropping it off. I'm like, I'm like, we're all dropping it off. Yeah. And she was like, uh-uh. And she just went up there and she's like, good for her.

Put the stuff down. She's like, I got to go. And I was like, okay. But that's how the mail works. If you were to mail it to them, it would just be here. You take it. And I'm not having a part of this. So why do you have to?

I agree with her. Well, I mean, I just, she was, she was, she was, she was, she was black. And she was, um, very overweight. And I feel like, uh. Does her life matter, Tom? Oh, I feel like fat black lives matter, but I also feel like that nobody tells a fat black lady. No, no.

If she's like, if she's like, I'm doing this right now. You're like, okay. Like you're fat, you're black. You're loud. Go ahead. So everybody, we all let her, like I let her skip me. The guy stopped working with the person who he was working with and was like, I got to help this fat black lady.

And then she gave her stuff and he was like, took care of her. And then she was like, I'm done with this shit. And then she walked out for her. And then he went back to the lady he was working with. And then I was next again. She skipped all of us. Yeah. And that was actually the beginning of fat black lives matter.

Yeah. She was fat. She was so big. But back to the story. So we're waiting. So we're waiting in line. Oh, yeah, this is great. This is the best part of this.

This is the great. So she's clearly virtue signaling. So she's got the mask and she does the shield. I'm dropping this off. Yeah, no one cares, sweetie. So she hands, she hands like a racket. Yeah, she does her fucking nonsense. And then she turns around and then when she's leaving.

This is the best. A man is walking up to the neighboring store. Yeah. The neighboring store that is not the tennis store. So it's, you know, it's 10, 15 feet from us, let's say, 15 feet. And as she's walking, she's leaving and she's going back to her car to leave. This man's walking up to the to the door and she goes, I'm safe for you.

Why aren't you protecting me? Put your mask on. Tom and I immediately were like, yes. And the guy's like, he goes, I'm outside. Do you know where his mask was? His mask was here. So all he has to do is go like this. Like it has the rubber bands.

He had intentions. It's right here. All he's got to do is go like this. He goes, I'm standing outside. I'm about to walk in and all I have to do is this. And he stays like calm, even though he's like, he wants to be like, you stupid fucking bitch. But he goes, I'm just I'm outside.

And all I got to do is this. And she was like, think about other people. And then she walks around and she like storms off to her car. No, but he starts going, I'm I know about the immune system. I have an immune. Yeah, he goes, I got he goes, I got very strong immune system as she's walking away. And then you're like, oh, it was so great. And then he like shakes his head and like yells a couple more things.

And he just goes and drops it on his face. Yeah. And I was like, man, he would he she would never have said that to him if it was a fat black lady, but then but then his fate would have it. We were standing there and out of the S.I.E. Whatever that shit is, bull store. What is that called, the S.I.E. Akai bowls. Yeah, the fuck.

I don't know. I don't know who's eating this shit. It looks terrible. But out of that store came a fat black lady. Yeah. And she wasn't wearing a mask. And I thought, oh, what's going to happen? Walk up to her because I would love to watch this go down. Yeah. But do you think she's going to confront? Nope, she didn't.

She did not. She saw and she was like, oh, get in my car. And then she got in her car and she drove away. She didn't say shit to anybody else, just that guy. I actually, when she got in the car, I realized that my mask was here. My I wasn't covered up. Oh, when she walked up, she could have done it to you. No, she didn't.

That's interesting. I wonder why you didn't trigger that. Maybe because I'm fat. Like, I don't have all the funds, but she was like, this guy's fat. She goes, he's fat. I won't talk to him. But her virtue signaling was out of control because, you know, where it is, it end, she goes, I'm protecting you.

Oh, my God, I don't take care of me. What a fucking psycho. Well, I was watching the talk and there was a person who, a psychologist, and he said, you know, these people that are so keyed up about wearing the masks, you can't convince them to do it because they're actually triggered by authority issues or being told what to do. It's not even about disease prevention. But anyways, you mentioned my dad playing tennis.

So I have, I was telling you about some awesome memories I have of, I mean, back in the day in the 80s, my dad would take me to tennis courts with him and he would meet up with his homies. There was a guy, Tibor, they're all shirtless. Dr. Seuss, this big fat guy who would play tennis and they were on some other guy, I don't know, some straggler and they would all, they'd be alcoholics and they would get hammered and play tennis for hours, for hours. And I was like a little kid and it was hot or whatever.

And you would just sit there for hours, so fucking bored. And this is before, like, that's good parenting right there. Yeah, not even like a toy or a book. Just sit and watch us play tennis. Just sit and watch four drunk Hungarians play tennis. I mean, when I live like eight, nine, ten. Hey, I'm going to take you to the tennis courts. Yeah.

Where I'll drink and play tennis and you can watch. And you watch me. For four hours. And I was so fucking bored and I would take the balls and like. How checked out? Like it's. Throw them around the court, the other court next to him. Or I would just like run around.

And would he be like, are you having fun? No, I didn't give a fuck. Like he was getting ripped with his bros. It was crazy looking back. This honestly makes me. Papa, can you hear me? I got to get one of these nice flasks. This one's.

Papa, let me help you. I know how to do that. I grew up doing this. Come here. Oh, you got it. Papa, are you playing tennis with your drunk friends? But what? But the thing that always now is an adult surprises me is like.

When you get drunk, isn't that the last thing you want to do is play tennis? Yeah, I don't want to do that. I went on a drunk walking the neighborhood with a friend of ours in the hood in our neighborhood. And I was like, this is terrible. We're drinking and walking. Yeah.

And I'm like, I can't think of anything I want to do less. Yeah, you want to lay down. I want to lay down. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I've played basketball high and that's fun. You did that. Yeah, you like that. That's fun.

Because you can if you have a good if you get a good high going, you're like dialed in. Oh, right. Focused. Yeah, you can get in the zone on I think on on a lot of sports, probably a bunch of NBA players play high. I bet a bunch do because we's really popular in the NBA. And once you've played back, like if you're that good,

I bet you some of them are like, oh, yeah, let's fucking smoke in the arena. Why is everyone afraid of fat black ladies? That's so true. I don't know. I think about it. I don't know. You don't talk shit.

What? You don't talk shit to a fat black lady. No, because you know, she's going to fucking rip you apart. No, like, like verbally, I mean, I don't use me in physically. I mean, you know, the sass is there. I know. All right, we have a huge, huge announcement

before we get to any clips or anything else. This is so big that I don't have a drop that is worthy of playing to to make it to get your attention to do it justice. But it's it's fantastic news. We are for the first time ever. Are you ready? This is ready, bro.

Huge news. We are doing your mom's house live, virtual, live and uncensored. It's not on YouTube. YouTube will not support what we want to do. There are no blurts. You will see everything. If you get a ticket to this live virtual event,

it is August 14th at 5 p.m. Tickets are now available on location live.com slash your mom's house. The link is in the description. We will be blasting this on our social media, Twitter, Instagram, everywhere that you follow us. We'll have links to this. You'll see promos for it.

August 14th at 5 p.m. Pacific Pacific 8 Eastern. It will it's internationally live. So that's the most exciting Australia. Wherever you are, you can get a ticket and watch this live. We made sure that I said, I mean, I go, I want to do it like the way we want to do this show. And if you were on the call where they were like, yeah, you can play whatever you want.

And you're like, I don't think you understand what we play, though. Right. Yeah, because you made it very clear that we need a from this meeting. We need to know where the line is. Yes, I was like, I want to know the line. And they're like, oh, what kind of line? You can talk about whatever you want. We can show you what you want.

And then my agent called me afterwards and he goes, he goes, that was one of the best calls I've ever been on. And I go, why? He goes, because they were like, yeah, you can play what you want. And then the dove said, well, I just want you to know that with what the stuff that we play, I vomited twice in the last month. And he was like, and he was very serious. And he goes, I had to mute my phone because I was laughing.

I was like, that's how we know it's a good show. Yeah. Someone throws up. Yeah. Well, and it's fisting, it's double fisting. It's a lot of stuff. Corn cobs and assholes. But this is all new clips, all new clips. The show will be the show. There are special guests to this is where it gets like more and more special.

Two of the special guests are Charo and Top Dog. So my parents are going to zoom in live. We will be able to not only talk to them, but show them clips, which you know is going to go sideways. And for you guys, I don't think the listeners have ever seen Top Dog. They've never seen Top Dog. I've seen Charo. Also, from what I understand, we will be able to interact with some listeners, too.

Right. Yeah. Every now and then, maybe we'll we'll call something out. We'll we'll we'll read a super fun comment and show it to everyone. And then we'll try and interact with the people that are in the chat. Well, anyways, it's it's really exciting. We this is like a whole new thing that it's brand new. The idea, you know, this has only been done a few times and we're super excited. So please consider getting tickets and joining us on the live show August 14th at 5 p.m. Pacific 8 Eastern.

It'll be really fun. The link will be in the description of this video. And like I said, you'll see us talking about it on social media for a minute. Oh, that seems appropriate. Uncensored is really exciting. It's really I'm excited about the worldwide way of doing things. I mean, usually when you and I do the live shows, it's only in specific. Yeah, you go down to Brea or wherever.

And yeah, or like this is going to be special. You could do, you know, like a live stream, but it's like what we do. The platforms don't allow it. So this is a way that we can do everything we want to do. Yeah, really give you the show that we got in. I'm telling you, this show is going to deliver. So don't even doubt that this show is going to be amazing. Yeah, I mean, we we run into creative differences with, you know, censorship stuff.

For instance, our infamous Faggot clip got taken out. That's right. The BBC flagged us. The BBC flagged that clip. They they actually removed it. So we couldn't we couldn't do anything with it. All about Faggot's. So right.

So we were able to show the first one and then we had a follow up commercial and they flagged the follow up commercial. Got you. So you're going to hear all about the mushy peas and the right. So we had to remove that from the episode. Yes, so that's not in the last episode, but we could still play all the drops from that clip. OK, Faggot King. OK, thank God.

Yeah, phew, crisis averted. Totally crazy. The wonderful Faggot on it. So very exciting. Maybe we'll play that clip in its its entirety on the live show. That's a great idea. That's a great idea. It's just it's so, you know, listen, we we are going to find ways to deliver

the show the way God intended, the way Jeans and I intend to show it. And, you know, we're pioneers in this industry. We don't answer to people and we just kind of we're inventing as we go along. Yeah, it's very exciting. It is very exciting. Very exciting. Also, one last piece of business. There's a sale in the store.

If you go to MerchMethod.com slash Tom Segura, you get 20 percent off everything in the store from July 29th through August 2nd. There's no promo code required. We just applied the sale to the store. So if you're buying anything from July 29th through August 2nd, anything, the the new the summer two bears shirt, the the jean tank top. The mommy's friends shirt. The boy mom shirt.

It'll all be 20 percent off for that time period. Thank you. And we appreciate it. Now, to get back to these clips we were playing. The first one, I didn't finish it. I just played the first clip, but the second clip of this Australian man flipping out on the car, it goes. He goes from here. Oh, shit.

Oh, wow. No. Well. That seemed pretty serious. Wow. What a dumb shit. He thought he could punch out. You can. Really? Sure. Well, if you can punch hard enough, you could break that.

Seriously? Yeah. I mean, he could also break his hand. Yeah. I was thinking the latter. A lot of bad things could happen right there. I mean, he could break his hand. He could break the window. He could break the window and cut his wrist and arms up. Like, you know, could have gone a whole bunch of different ways.

Do you think this is drugs or mental illness? I think it's mental. I think he's having a mental break. Yeah. The pandemic or is this pre. Just maybe he had some, you know, bad fosters. Bad fosters. He's Australian. Oh, yeah, Mike. Yeah. Good day. Maybe he was going.

All right. So. We got a cool update. Are you ready for an update? I'm Australians. You know, our our mousepad friend? How can I forget? He's got some new stuff. Oh, fuck me.

I feel so good. I received another poster in the mail today. A bayonetta poster. I am going to order another bayonetta poster from Amazon. That's so cool. And anyways, I paid seven dollars for this poster. That's a good deal.

What's good about this poster? This poster. You can see Bayonetta's ass. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. What is Bayonetta's ass? Oh, my fucking God is so fucking yummy. I wouldn't mind tasting it. I feel like.

Yeah. What's that? He's just stroking. I don't feel like he just listens to any of his conversations on the phone and just repeats everything that he says, you know, because I've ever. Yeah, any talk to girls, same thing. This is how we talk to girls. Exactly. He's like, your ass is so yummy.

I'm like, wow, how's that working for you? And he's like, it works. Good. Yeah, it's pretty good. Bayonetta Bayonetta can suck my dick any time she wants. I give her permission. Cool. That's very cool. Who's Bayonetta? I don't know. This is the last poster I ordered.

Another bayonetta poster. What's good about this bayonetta poster? Oh, my fucking God, yo, yes, you can see Bayonetta's tits. Wait, wait. By the way, I didn't realize that the advice I've been giving you guys, he's doing it, you know? Yeah. There's just not another live person there. I'm a little troubled by something.

I think it's better when he does this with porn stars. Then cartoons, animation characters, anime and because you can always see her tits. Can't you get drawn? These are I think it's better to stay in the real world. But, you know, and you can see Bayonetta's wet panties. Dude, I'm telling you this works. You've got to talk to chicks like that.

They dig it, dude. Bayonetta makes me so fucking horn you for her. Yes, this works. I'm telling you this works. What is this new mumbling thing he's I think he's getting worked up. Yeah, sometimes when your dick gets hard, you make noise. What? You got to add this to your repertoire. Yeah, like I'm trying to eat the salad.

My dick's all hard. I am a fucking Jew. We know my cum is 100 percent kosher. Oh, that I would recommend for any of our Jewish listeners or viewers. You got to throw that in when you're talking to a woman. Because that's another level. Is that like a joke in the Jewish community?

Like my cum is kosher. Well, I mean, most of the women that I hook up with, that's not really a deal breaker. If it's kosher or not, because I don't. You don't. You're self-hating. I don't fuck with Jews. By the way, do you know how much Tom loves that you're anti-Semitic? He's not. Oh, that you just don't like your own tribe.

I don't like my own tribe sometimes, too. It's quite a difference between what? Between what you said and what I enjoy. Oh, I just like when people, you know, are like, warn you about their own people. Yeah, like my mother does the same thing always. Like if a guy even says two words in Spanish, she's like, watch him. OK, why?

She's like because they are sneaky. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you the tennis guy, our kid's tennis coach. I go, I want a coach for my husband. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he goes, oh, I have this Hungarian girl. I go, nope. Pass, bro.

And I tell you something. Pass. She part-pass. I got to meet her the same time you did. No, I vey. And man was your choice. Yeah. So on point. It was so on point because.

Not for me. You like this girl was no fun. No fun. And such an asshole, actually. Such an asshole. So like the guy, we finished the lesson. He's like, oh, here's a dick, dipshit from Hungary. And you said you greeted her in something in Hungarian.

Yeah. And then I said a similar, like a different thing. But like the thing that I know, she replied like with like, you know, a 25 word thing and then like a straight face. And I was like, I don't actually speak. I used to know a few words. She was like, oh, I go, she's the Hungarian. And then she's like, you're from Hungary.

Like like an inquisition. Like you're you're from Hungary. And she was like, no, my my parents are. And she goes, oh, so you're American. But like like an like an asshole. Like it was an asshole. Yeah, I was like, all right. She was like, yeah, yeah, I was born.

And she was like, oh, yeah, yeah. So you're not like you're not really. And I was like, what the fuck? And then she was like, do you go there often? And you were like, I've been there. She's no. And then she grew deaf family there. I go, yeah, my uncle.

I have relative. Yeah, what is this? What is this fucking police? And I've had that too. I've had that too. The last time that I had like when you're not enough for someone. So I was I was downtown. I was getting some it was clothing for something.

And I walked into this, you know, one of these stores. They have like all the fashion district there. This guy starts speaking to me in Spanish and then a girl comes up. Who's also like a young girl. And she was like speaking. She was like, you speak Spanish. And I go, yeah. And she goes, oh, are you whatever?

And I go, well, I'm half. And she goes, oh, I'm pure. Well, good for you. Yeah, she was like, I'm pure. I'm like, you're pure. I've never heard somebody pure make that distinction that you're pure. She was like, yeah. And then the funny thing is, though, that like she didn't speak great Spanish.

And I was like, you need to kind of work on your purity a little bit. Yeah, you stupid. You don't have the one of the main components down. So how do you say bitch in Espanol? Like putta putta perra stupid perra. Yeah. Remember when Caesar Milan, I asked him what his favorite breed of dog was. And he was like, I like all the dogs. And I thought for a second, like, oh, am I right?

And my dog racist because I only like I love my Brussels graffin breed. But it's not to the exclusion of other dogs. Yeah, he made me feel like a dog racist because he implied it was kind of racist to like a breed. Yeah, I kind of I kind of got a side with you on that one. I'm kind of dog racist, too. You are. Yeah. I mean, I like Brussels, but I also like their cousins.

I like pugs. I like Frenchies. And I kind of feel like if you're not one of those breeds, you're not really good enough. You know, I mean, here's the thing, you're not good enough to come into my house. You can be a retriever. You can be whatever you want. You can be a Yorkie. Yeah. But stay outside.

Stay outside, bitch. Don't come into my house. Don't try to get out of my bowl. Don't try to. But he did bring up a point that pit bulls somehow it was racist, right? Like he was saying that because they're linked to like a certain socioeconomic group or something, he was implying that people, the pit bull was like a racist thing.

But I don't fucking know. Let me think about it again. I don't think that's what he said. No, he did because they're associated with like Mexicans or something. Isn't that what it is? When you don't know and you keep thinking about it, I think it's getting worse. I don't know. You got to be erased if you own one. Anyway, so.

No, because he said with Dobermans, there was a stigma against them as well. Yeah. I don't know. Well, there's stigmas for sure, but I'm talking about who is welcome to be pet by these hands. Oh, I know. God gave us two hands. One for each dog. Pugs, Frenchies.

If you're not. Goodbye. Cute hands, which reminded me of this pure racial thing. We were watching this Indian dating show. Oh, yeah, a matchmaker show. I fucking fantastic. Love this show. Will you look up the name of it?

Matchmaker. Yeah, it's an Indian matchmaking show. I forget what the name is. It's on Netflix. God damn it. I wish I think I could be a matchmaker. That's what I want to be. Indian matchmaking is what it's called. Hmm. It's so good.

It's fantastic because this world of Indian matchmaking has been kind of a secret thing to us in the West. There's a huge pushback against the show. People being like. Cares. Arranged marriages are your sort of form of abuse. Oh, stop. They're crying about that now.

Yeah, but it's it's fantastic show. It's so it's so fun. You know, first of all, everyone who is doing the show on this show, at least, is willingly doing it. They want to be matched. They're like, I want you to set me up. And I think people, we assume that you have to marry whoever is picked for you. And that's not the case.

What it is is the matchmaker finds perspectives of few guys or girls, three or whatever, and you kind of you date them. You see if you like them and then you move forward. It's just imagine like a selecting process of someone that professionally does that. It would be awesome. Yeah. I think it's I wish I could do it for my kids. I would give them.

You basically give them your criteria, right? You give them your checklist, like I want them to be at least this tall. I'd like somebody from this kind of background. Yeah, I want someone who is this type of personality. You know, you give them all the things you are important to you. Yes. And then she gives you the lady will give you at a maximum, I think, three choices, which is so cool. And then you just take you go out with one.

But but but reminded me of this story is that woman, this wonderful girl, Nadia, who I'm just. Yeah, I love her beautiful and great energy part. Yeah, perfect. And she's Guyanese as well as Indian. So her background is Indian, but she was from Guyana, right? So the Indian people that were that went to it was an English guy. Guyana was an English colony and they brought Indian people, you know,

to work there, right? I don't know if it's to work there or I don't know. I don't know the history or maybe they were like forced to work there. But this is a thing. So this girl is Guyanese and she's like she is such an insecurity. About how when she says that she's Indian, Indian people will be like, oh, you're Guyanese, though, like you're not Indian. There's a she has to defend her Indian ethnicity. She's like, yeah, but like we went from India to another country,

but we're still Indian. And she found that some people go like, well, yeah, logically, yes. But that some people are like, oh, no, you're not Indian, though. You're Guyanese. So it seems you can see how it totally affects her, but I get it too, because well, there's the caste system in India, right? So like if you're a Punjabi, you probably want to marry in Punjabi. Well, a lot of people do.

Right. Just so you're culturally similar. The show makes me want to go to India. I know, I never wanted to really until now. Why? Diarrhea. Oh, I'm afraid of Delhi Belly. It's a real thing. I think I could get over that. I want to I I think watching the show, though, is is on top of being

like a fascinating dating show. It's kind of a, secondly, like a commercial for India. It's kind of rare because you see like all the color. You know, I mean, the vibrant like clothing, the way that they sell like the way they have wedding. I want to go to Indian wedding. Me too. It really, really. Yeah, like it just look at that.

I mean, that's not some cracker shit. That's like India, man. But I understand that Guyanese Nadia, there she is. She's on the bottom right corner. She's so pretty. I understand her. She's on the left now on the right side there. I understand her thing because no, that's a Parna.

She's terrible. A Parna is the worst dog. Yeah, I mean, but I understand because I mean, type in, type in for this Indian matchmaking, then Nadia Nadia. Yeah, but Tommy and a D. Don't you get it that she wants culturally to have somebody similar? There she is. Yes, Nadia, because like, imagine bringing home around the left there.

Some fucking cracker ass. That's her. That's Nadia. Yeah, that one. Yeah. Imagine bringing home some fucking cracker who doesn't know anything about your culture and he's like, what smells weird in here? Yeah. You go, what do you do that for? Like, it's so annoying to have to explain yourself culturally. Yeah, it's true.

Over and over. When you have a foreign parent or two foreign parents. Yeah. You're always like, yeah, this is just how they are, man. And, you know. And don't be so, it's annoying to have to justify how you are all the time. It's exhausting. Anyway, I love the show.

I'm hooked. I'm hooked, too. I'm so hooked. I cannot wait to watch more of it. I really like it. Would you date someone who's trans? Would you date someone who's black? Would you date someone who's fat?

Would you date someone who's disabled? Well, if you said no, I'm sorry, but that's pretty discriminatory. Wait, but... There was probably a time in my life when I said I wouldn't date a trans person. But since then, I've thought critically about it and changed my mind. There are definitely trans people who you would never know are trans unless they told you because they pass for cis. And that might convince some of you.

But I think arguing that you would only like a trans person if you didn't know they were trans is a poor argument. I think you could be attracted to any trans person, whether they pass or not. Yeah. Well, this person, I have to say, is fascinating to me on more than one level. Yeah, what are you thinking? I'm thinking that I would fuck this person. Really?

Yeah. But the Adam's apple. I would ask them to remove it. You would eff this person? I don't know. I'm saying I'm attracted right now. I think the main concern that people have in regards to dating a trans person is that they won't have the genitals that they expect. Because we associate penises with men and vaginas with women,

some people think they could never date a trans man with a vagina or a trans woman with a penis. Oh, boy. And if you were to say that you're only attracted to people with vaginas or people with penises, it really feels like you're reducing people just to their genitals. True. I'm so far I'm buying his argument, too. I'm hooked.

If you met someone who was extremely attractive, had a great personality, but didn't have the genitals that you wanted, you might be surprised to find that it isn't a deal-breaker. As someone who is trans and gay, sometimes people ask me with a very accusatory tone if I would date a girl with a penis. Because there's a stereotype that trans lesbians are just predatory cis men creeping on cis women. But the thing is, I absolutely could be attracted to a woman with a penis.

So she, sorry. She's trans and gay. So she dates women. So she identifies as a trans lesbian woman. Is that right? Did I get that right? I don't know. Yes. I think I followed that.

The train leaves the station. You don't think she's pretty, though? And then another train leaves station B. Yeah, no, I think she's pretty. I like her slender build. I wish I was as skinny as her. I like her. She's gorgeous. Nice fit. The hair.

Super nice hair, great lips, great teeth. I think she's really pretty. But I do personally, I like a penis and I think I would be... Well, she has one. Well, no, but I'm just saying I also like masculinity attached to my penis. And I think I would be a little bummed to have a woman with a penis. That's not what I'm into. No, no, I think for you, because you're attracted to men, what she's saying is,

what if you went out with a guy and he's a good looking guy and he's like, you know, has everything you want physically. Right. But so then what happens is when you get naked, this guy who does everything you like has a vagina instead of a penis. But that would bother me because I don't want vagina. I want a penis. Yeah, but you're a racist. I didn't even realize how racist I am.

Thank you, Tom. You're welcome. I'm dog racist and now I'm genital racist. Wait, are you? I'm a little upset that black people are lumped into this list. Aren't you too like, right? Like, how did black people make this list? Like, trans, ableist, black, what?

Are you not into the scary, dark people that are out there? Like, I just, but I don't I don't think the black people should be on this list. They're not. Why don't you contact her and let her know that? Yeah, it's not really. Yeah. I mean, I understand what she's trying to the point. Exhausted. I'm so racist, genital racist, dog racist, ableist.

Would you date a girl? I don't think that would be a deal breaker to date someone. I mean, let me eat you. You date me. I'm mentally handicapped. Yeah, that's true. That is very true. Let me see this last clip here, because this is exciting. Saying that you're not attracted to fat people isn't innate.

It's informed by a society that tells you that being thin is ideal. But again, if you find someone attractive and really enjoy spending time with them, there's no reason why their weight should be a factor, especially since we know that the relationship between weight and health is extremely complex. And you really can't make any moral judgments on a person based on their weight. You can. You totally can. You can and you should. It's a lack of discipline.

Yeah. Gosh. I mean, we're not talking about, you know, 20, 30 pounds over weight. That's what we are. That's right. I'm saying you're trying to tell me that if you see someone 200 pounds over weight, you're like, you shouldn't make an assumption. Right. This person is 406 pounds. You should be like, that's fucking normal.

It's great. Healthy. It's healthy, even. Yeah. You can't correlate poor health to being obese. Well, that's what those TV shows teach us. Right. Yeah. Is that it's it's not a moral issue. They're just just fat naturally. Yeah. Wait, wait.

That's pretty discriminatory. Hey, but Tom. Yeah. Don't you argue that you date someone who's black? How do black and obese have the same category? I feel like every black person is like, wait, what? Yeah. How would you date someone who's disabled? Well, wait, why?

You know, all the crazy things, disabled, trans, black. How does that make me cut? All the things that make your mind go, what? Someone who doesn't have arms, someone who drinks through a straw only, someone who's black. Hey, but but it doesn't make your dick hard. Can't you can't you just argue that? Like I'm a trans man with a vagina.

But but let's say like it just doesn't make your dick hard. You know what I mean? Right. Like certain categories of stuff. Oh, certain things. Yeah. It's not a conscious thing. It's a reptilian brain thing. That's the part of that. She's not mentioning in this video about attraction and dating and all that.

It's like she's saying like only a lot like only like your logical mind going, would I date someone in a wheelchair? And it's like, yeah, you can make that case sure that, you know, you should be open to dating people. But ultimately as a guy, your dick's got to get hard. Yeah. You know, yeah. And your pussy's got to get all sloppy. You got to get all wet and sloppy down there.

And like, it's not going to if it doesn't do it for you. And no, I'm going to make you cry. Yeah. No amount of societal unconditioning can change that wiring with me to not want a vagina. Like I just can't. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm trying that. That makes women so hot. That's how you walk up to a lady.

I think I mean, let me eat you all the things in the world. That makes me the least attracted. I don't believe you. That's a stupid thing to say. You're turned on. Shut up. That is the worst you could do to a woman is. Oh, really? Oh, really? How come he gets all the fucking pussy then? Or to be like when you're talking and this makes my juicy butt.

Oh, that's. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The the mouse pad guy. Us. Oh, that's a lot. Tom, but wait a minute. Yeah. OK, let's say you meet like super hot chick. Yeah. And then her meow is in a meow. It's a peener. Right. Is that a deal breaker?

It feels like it is. It feels like it is. Like, I'm not going to be like, well, I guess I'll just blow this thing. Like, I'm definitely not going to be like that. I mean, I can tell you that's not how it would start. I wouldn't be like, God, this chick's so hot. And then, you know, take the panties off, big dicks there. I'm like, that's this is fine. It's not going to be that kind of adjustment, you know.

Yeah. No, because it's it's not that. Yeah, I don't want to be like, yeah, I don't want to be racist. The better select this dick. But would it be called genderist? It's not even racist. Is there is there a gender phobe? Is that the word? What's the new word for being transphobic?

I guess you're. Yeah, that's transphobic. Transphobic. OK. Yeah. Gosh, I guess we're so transphobic. But here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm thinking of them just trying to be honest here. I might be like, yeah, I don't know. You know, I really wasn't expecting this, right? And then you're beautiful.

I had a great time. Like this was a lot of fun. I thought we had great chemistry, but I'm a little like, I don't know if I'm ready for that. And then she might be like, OK, can I suck yours? And I'd be like, OK, like that. Well, that was a fun day. That could happen.

That's true. That would be fine. Yeah, I'd be like, I went out with this. Because like, I'm not even worried about like, oh, that's so gay. Like, I wouldn't even I wouldn't even care. Right. Because it's a serious thing. It's just the mechanics. If you had never done and you were on a date, like I said, with a you have no idea.

You're like, it's a beautiful woman. I had a great like you. You think you're with a cis woman the whole time. And at the end, you see a dick, right? Yeah. I don't think it's that outrageous for that man, the cis man who's surprised to be like, hold on a second. I think it's a pretty natural reaction.

It's a natural reaction. And it's false advertising, the name of my favorite adult film series. False advertising one through 27. We have 26 of them. I used to put them in your suitcase. Yeah, so we we got a box of DVD. I want to say from Yoshi Yoshi. He gave me like a huge box of DVDs years ago.

And it's it had like every genre of porno in there. The best. He's like, all from Evil Angel. And so he had a few false advertising. And it was just, you know, trans women on the cover. Like you see tits and then you see like a hard dick. It's called false advertising. It's such a good name. She put the DVD in my carry on so that when like if I open my carry

on, there's that. And then that happened to be a trip where I went internationally. So they opened my inner my carry on and see prompt. Like I can't leave my house without my trans porn. That's the best part. I can't leave the country. I have to bring this with me. It's like your toothbrush.

Can I declare it on this form? Jesus Christ, man, I got to make a peachy really quick. May I really? It'll make me happy for the next hour of the show. I got a peach. OK, I hydrate a lot. Just let it keep rolling. Yeah, go ahead.

You want anything long gone? No, I make your dick hard. So how was your pee? We're back and you peed. I pee. I pushed hard. My pee smelled a lot like coffee, so I'm going to have to hydrate more. By the way, I got this confirmed from a couple of doctors that I asked. Whenever you go number one or number two, pee or poop,

you're supposed to push as hard as you can. That is like doctor's orders. I just confirmed that I was at Cedars. I said, how should I pee? And they go, you should pee like it's a real emergency. You have to push it out. So that's just doctor's advice. Same thing for taking a shit.

You should hold on to the bowl and the sides and just push with everything you've got. Doctors orders. I do push my urine out fast. I do. It's good for you. I don't like to take my clothes. You want to get it out? Yeah, I got shit to do, man. Don't fucking look at time for that.

So we have a phone call we're about to make, and this is with Derek. You might remember we spoke to him a little while back as he is the tattoo artist who did the design of Pig on Norm Summerton's head. Since then, Norm has had additional tattoos done. He had his eyebrows done and he has a pig eating a rooster, AKA a cock. On the side of his head, Derek did all of these, and we spoke to him when we first discovered or found Norm on our own. We're going to go ahead and give Derek a call now to get an update on Norm.

I like the music too. Pit bulls racist. I know there was something to that. Derek, hey, it's Tom and Christina. How are you doing, man? I'm great. How are you guys doing? We're doing great. Thanks so much for giving us a little bit of your time here.

I appreciate it. Thank you for calling me. So sweet. Yeah, man. So we wanted to get an update. I don't know that a lot of listeners know this is certainly news to me. But from what I understand, I noticed that I don't see Norm on Twitter anymore. And I was informed that he is going through a bit of a regular episode or so that that where he basically flogs himself for the BDSM lifestyle.

Is that right? Yes, yes. He's decided to cut off anything related to BDSM. OK. So he's any fun. He's going to church every day. He's going to church every day. Shit. Isn't that a form of BDSM right there? That's true. That is a form.

I mean, I feel like it might raise some eyebrows when in church, when they see Norm with some of your work done to him. But, you know, I guess that's what they do. They take in all kinds. So this is the kind of thing this happens regularly with Norm, where he will kind of go through these patterns of feeling extreme guilt for his, you know, deviant lifestyle, so to speak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess he's gone through this before.

I've been talking. I have been talking with him as much because he wants to exclude himself from the world. But his owner, Ms. Talin, she's kind of informed me that he's gone through this a few times over the years. OK. So this is like a pattern. He may be back. OK. Yeah.

Now, one of the things we haven't like we initially spoke to you when he had that incredible pig tattoo done on the front of his head. And then since then, I'm assuming you did the additional work to him. Yes, I did. Yeah. Will you will you take us through what was done? What what did what did you add? OK, so I added like woman eyebrows in the front of the eyebrows. I feel like kind of meeting each other in the center of the head.

They're little pigs. No. Right. And then on the side, the side of his head is drawing a date of a pig sucking on a rooster. Right. A cock. Right. Yeah. Yes, because he's a cock old. Right. It's unbelievable, man. That I mean, your work is incredible. You're such a talented artist.

It is. It's a it is pretty bold, though, to walk around with that on your. I mean, once you have the pig thing, I'm sure everyone's like, well, all right, you're you're in, but that is that's pretty out there, right? Yeah, it is. That we've gone to the pub and people have made comments. Yeah, I would expect that. Yeah. But yes, I didn't finish the one on the side of his head

and he doesn't want any more tattoos ever again. So I guess. How long has this been going on? Yeah. What's the what is like the routine? Like, is this your first time since you've known him that he's in a withdrawal episode? No, second time. Second time. Yeah. So when was the last time? I think when everything first started happening with the social media attention.

Uh-huh. Oh, he was he kind of he withdrew then. Yeah, he went he went through for like a few days, though. But this time was is a little different. Like he stopped drinking. He doesn't want any tattoos. He wants nothing to do with BDSM. Wow. And then when when it was the first time when it was just, you know, a few days, was he also going to church and doing that then also?

Uh, no, he wasn't going to church. He just stopped going to the pub and stopped dying. Just deleted his social media. Right. Yeah. That's when we thought we didn't know what had happened to him. Right. So that makes sense. That's when we were like, oh, where is he's gone? But then he came in full force with with, you know, BDSM stuff. I mean, he was posting a lot and, you know, doing the tit cups

and retweeting a lot of, you know, female dominant stuff, getting the additional tattoos. I mean, I thought he was like really leaning into the lifestyle. Yeah, that's what I thought, too. But something happens where you just decided doesn't want to do it right now. I've been in contact with Miss Talon about it. And she says it happens a lot, so you never know, you might be back. Do you think it's a shame thing?

Is this like a shame reaction? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. It's like, you know, people, people do call him and, you know, harass him a lot. I actually started getting people harassing me from from America. Oh, great. Call me from the States. Really? And send me, yeah, really weird, really weird stuff. So I actually asked him to take my number off his Twitter.

Oh, man. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened to you. If people. OK. Yeah. I mean, that's part of, like, I guess, you know, getting exposure is there's always a few assholes out there. Yeah. If you don't want to be a dick, but you want to see Derek's extremely talented work, you can follow him on Instagram, D I N Y E R O. Is that correct? That's right. Yeah.

Check him out. Give him a follow. Give him a like. Don't be an asshole. Like, just be nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's a please tell him if you if you do speak to Norm that, you know, we love him. We we we hope he's all right. You know, don't want anything bad to happen to Norm. And I hope he's back in the shop getting tats and we're in TicCup soon, man. Yeah, for sure. He is writing a book.

Oh, he is. Oh, yes. On his life. Oh, what's it called? All right, give me a sec. I'll tell you, just give me one sec. Oh, I'm guessing here. Pig tells you about life. My life in TicCups. Pretty much. Survival pig, pig, do bad a pig's life.

Memoirs of a sexual deviant. Yes. Memoirs of a sexual deviant. I would read that over and over again. I heard that before this, I'd heard that Norm was considering getting implants. For what? Breast implants. No, no, no, no, he wasn't. He was just wearing those cups to make himself breath.

Oh, but I saw a Twitter exchange in which somebody had asked him, why don't you just get implants? And he was like, yeah, I'd love that. But they're expensive. He doesn't have the money. Yeah, yeah, he just goes off his pension. Well, you know, he's a very interesting and complex person. So it would make sense that he would go through these phases of shame.

And yeah, and that's probably all it's complicated and there's layers. But that seems like it's also like not unusual for somebody that would consider themselves a sexual deviant to. Sure. So, you know, it's kind of like the natural run of emotions, right? You go deep, deep into the the thrill seeking stuff. And then you feel tremendous shame about it. I guess it's in line with BDSM, isn't it?

The shame and guilt and the flogging and flagellation. Well, it's fascinating. Yeah, well, especially for him at his age and he's alone all the time. So he has a lot of time to, you know, be by himself and reflect. Yeah, well, probably back to what's a little bit. If he if he's back, if it when he's back in, and I hope it's soon, I'd like to talk to him about implants, you know. I think we should do a go fund me or raise money.

Maybe a donation, you know. Good idea. Yeah, just a donation. Amazing. Yeah, OK. I'd be happy to do that. I would love to help him get. If he's just like, you know, life sucks without tits and be like,

maybe we can change that, you know. Yeah, great. I'm going to tell him. All right, let's do it. I love that idea. Derek, thanks for joining us on the call. Again, you're a great artist. Thanks for informing us and send our best to Norm, please, if you speak to him.

OK, I will. I'll I'll tell him today. All right, thanks, brother. Take care, man. Take care, Derek. You have a good time. Bye bye. You see you.

Bye bye. Poor pig. I'm really, you know, but I guess. I think it's part of that cycle. Yeah, I really do. This episode is also brought to you by Stamps.com. As we slowly adjust to a new normal, we will still need to be smart about how we do business. Luckily, there's Stamps.com to make things easier.

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Oh, boy. Be ready. Yep. I'm going to hit love you. I don't like it. Well, let me ask you this. Who would you rather go on a date with? Oh, boy.

A trans man with a vagina? Yeah. Or this cis man? Trans man with a vagina all day, every day. I would 69 them. I would let their pussy juices just live on my face. There you go. This is so beyond anything.

I don't like this. Well, she's helping. He's out when they're walking. First steps. Just a go. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A little bit further.

A little further. There you go. All right, let's wave at the camera. OK. That's good. I don't like him at all. And I bet if you lift up the skirt on the doll, that there's something.

OK. You don't have to take it there. We're just talking about walking. No, he's doing stuff with that doll. How do you know that? I've got a feeling. It looks very paternal. He's just helping her walk.

This is horrible, but I don't like it. I love this. Is there any more? I think that's it for that one. But if you want, we could try and find more from this guy. I would like to find more from this guy. You got it, Mr. Tom. I would really like to find everything from this guy.

What do you not like? First steps? All right. Hi. I'm going to go for a walk. This guy has a job. This guy goes to an office somewhere. Like somebody's watching this.

They're like, Greg? He reminds me of a number of guys in North Carolina that I know. Yeah. It's a nice house. Remember last night we were watching our Indian matchmaking show? And there's this one bachelor.

I'm not going to give too much away. But he's pretty great on paper. The guy's into cooking and making exotic drinks. And he's a jeweler. And then there's a little scene where he goes, and these are my outfits that I make for my little gods, Krishna and Vishnu. He's got a lot of indicators that you're like, hmm.

Something's up here. Yeah, a couple of flags. I mean, it's cool that he likes to cook. And he does really centric things with cooking. And then he has a really intense personal closet with a door pad alarm to open the door. And then you're like, OK, it's a lot. And then out of nowhere, they cut back to him.

Episode three, he's like, here's my dolls. Here's my doll dresses that I make. And you're like, that's something you want to lead with, I think. Pradyama, this is Pradyan. Yeah, he's like, this is where I make all these dresses. Yeah, and OK, well, OK, so I would ask you,

what's the deal breaker? The guy making dresses for his dollies, or the guy walking the toddler doll? This is 10 times more terrifying. I mean, you could make an argument that that's real. I mean, it is artistry, you know? That guy's, he is talented. He's like a dressmaker.

Yeah, yeah, he's a talented guy. He's designing jewelry and stuff. But this guy. This guy's sick. Problems. This guy is fucking terrifying. I hope the FBI has a file on this household. Oh, they do, they know.

There's an FBI agent who's watching this, and he's like, yes, we do know where Kevin Warden lives. We definitely know. Let's go through his hard drive, because I'm not too pleased with it. This guy's a fucking creeper. This guy is actually beyond cool, you know? There's like, there's cool, and then there's over here.

The coolest of guys? Yeah, it's a lot. You wanna see if we can top it with something? I don't know. I think we have something pretty cool to show you. I don't think so. All right, brace yourself. No.

You have to decide. You have to decide. Who, I'm the matchmaker. Christina, who would you rather go on a date with? Yes. Would you rather date the doll walker? The doll walker? Or.

Right before you come. Yeah, I'll swallow if I want to. I have no problem swallowing. I'd stop for a minute and I'd put a big hickey on your inner thigh there and just suck on that and make it nice and red and let you remember me after I'm gone. Yeah.

Turn over and then I would play with your cheeks, maybe even massage your little hole and make you feel just the only man in my life. You just did. Yeah, I like that. The only man. Well, it's normal size. It's not that big.

Well, the one thing that I'm gonna tell you is that the first time it's gonna be quick with me because it's been a long time. I'll tell you, Tomy Lasord is falling apart. He. It does look like Tomy Lasord is on you. Look at those tits. Los Doyers don't have baseball, so.

Okay, you come. You come. Let me see how much you come. Let me see all that come. How much, how big a load I'm gonna swallow. Whoa. I need it right now. Oh, shit.

I need it right now. Okay. Can you see this? Okay, give it to me now. Give it to me now. Holy shit. Give it to me. Come on, Mark.

Don't be stingy. Can you see it? Come on, Mark. Don't be stingy. Don't be stingy with your load. I'm gonna put this in your mouth and you're gonna have to suck it dry. You're gonna just suck it dry, Mark.

You got that beautiful mouth. Those headphones came off. Tom? Yeah? Would you rather? Give it to me, Mark. Yeah? Yeah?

Oh, I can feel it. Mm. Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

What is wrong with you? Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. You like this? This is what gets you right now? This is fucking awesome. Look at his fucking tits. Oh, fuck.

This is so gross. Oh, the sky's fucking amazing. Could you imagine? Oh, fuck, I can't imagine. It's such right here. So gross. All right, Tom, can somebody put, I don't want it, I don't want it.

You bet I'm coming up in May. You better believe I'm coming up in May. That's a bit of a belly. That's a lot of belly. You are terrific. I know, where did he come? That's all I can say. Where did he come?

Where did he ejaculate? He came on the floor. He just jizzed on the floor? Sure. Cool. Got a nice house. Tom, Tom, would you rather? Okay, listen, would you rather?

Wait, no, I had a would you rather going into this. You have to answer mine. Hold on. Wait, no, no, you have to answer. The doll walker or this guy? No, no, no, no. He doesn't like women. Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. You still gotta make a choice. Now, hold on. Do I have to touch this person? Are you just... I'm gonna put this in your mouth and I'm gonna have to suck it dry. You're gonna just suck it dry.

That's what he's saying to you. That's a beautiful mouth. Yeah, do you want that? Or do you want to walk a doll? Don't show me the doll walker. Don't you fucking show me. I'll take this guy any day over the doll walker. This guy's so...

The doll walker is so troubled. Come on, Mark, don't be stingy. Can someone please loop in Tom's name? Someone loop in Tom? Cause would you rather... Yeah. Never masturbate again? Or the only time you masturbate is him coaching you.

Oh my God. And he's like, come on, Tom. Oh, cause I think... Come on, Tom. I think I really like him. So I think that I... I'd be like, hey man, I'm ready to jerk off. You want to jump in a chat real quick?

You want to jump in a chat? Yeah, and he'd be like, what's that? I'm ready to go. You ready to go? And then he just put his things on. Yeah, you know what I love is the dedication. Like the hands free. Yeah.

Like, did they all do this? Where they have to get like the ear, the canons? Oh, sure. Or you can jerk off. Turn over and then I would play with your cheeks, maybe even massage your little hole and make you feel just the only man in my life. You just did.

Can you please get me this as like an MP4 that I can put on my phone and send to people? Like, you know what I mean? Like a video clip. Why don't you just send the video? You don't want them to see what he looks like? No, that's what I'm saying. I want this video clip.

Oh, MP4. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, even just on audio, that he's not going to look good. Like you can, if you just listen. OK, let me try. Yeah, just close your eyes and imagine what he looks like.

Well, it's normal size. It's not that big. Yeah, he's old. Well, the one thing that I'm going to tell you is that the first time it's going to be quick with me, because it's been a long time. OK. You know who I have a picture?

I mean, part of it is that I saw him. I know who he is. He kind of reminds me of the actor who played kind of him, but the actor who played Santa in Elf, the movie with him. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? I do know. Who played Santa Claus in the Will Ferrell Elf movie?

I know you're talking about. He looks like that guy. You're right. Yeah. He sounds like Will for Brimley a little to me. Santa, fuck. Where's the Ndavis Google it? C-L-A-U-S-E is not high-spell.

Go to IMDb. It's C-L-A-U-S Claus. IMDb. Just close that whole thing and go to IMDb. Elf. God. Looking for him. Good news I found him.

Yeah. OK, what's his name? Who plays Santa? Make it bigger. Who plays Santa Claus? Edward Asner. That's who it is. Sure.

That's who it is. Ed Asner. Ed Asner. Yeah, my god, it is! Look at him. Good job. Tommy. Tommy Lasagna.

Oh, my god, dude. Is that Asner? Maybe that is Ed Asner. Right before you come. Oh, my god. I'll follow if I want to. I have no problem swallowing. I'd stop for a minute, and I'd put a big hickey on your inner thigh

there, and just suck on that. That's it, Asner. Make it nice and red, and let you remember me after I'm gone. That's him. Oh, my god. I cannot wait to ruin so many people's day with that clip. I'm going to send that to everyone. That is terrible.

Yeah. Oh, that's so great. I wonder if it's better to send if you put a bar over where it says this was uploaded, you know what I mean? So they don't know what. You know how it's on the screen here? Oh, so they can't tell that it's porn right away? Yeah.

Sure. Yeah, you got it. How did this arrive? This was just in the mailbox, in the inbox? Yeah, that's where all of our coolest clips come from. We don't have to look hard to find these obscure stuff. It's the fans do that work for us. Thank you so much.

Listen to me. You guys made my day today. Thank you so much for the Ed Asner clip. Great show. Do you think your dad is like, if he were a gang, this is how your dad would be, Top Dog? If he were like this? I don't know.

Yeah. He might be like, you know, I see your balls. Yeah. How did he get the name Top Dog? That's actually, he won't remember this, but I remember it very clearly. So he started calling me Big Dog in high school. Come on, Big Dog.

Big Dog, you know. And I think that was definitely a nickname for a basketball player. Forget his name. Big Dog or Top Dog? Big Dog. Glenn Robinson, was it Glenn? Oh, here we go.

Glenn, Big Dog, I think it was. Big Dog, yeah. Yeah, Glenn, Alan Robinson, Jr. So, but he would call me Big Dog, and then he came to visit me in college. Yeah. And one of my roommate, he was like, yeah, Big Dog, Big Dog, saying it to me, you know, like, let's go, Big Dog.

One of my roommates goes, if he's Big Dog, what's your name? And he goes, I'm Top Dog. He was trying to be like. He's number one. I'm number one, yeah. Oh, wow, I like that. That's the first time I heard him explain that. Top Dog.

And then you got it. That's stuck, that's stuck. And then you guys just started, this is college, so 20 years ago, you know, about. Yeah, that's what I remember. I mean, he called me Big Dog 10 years before that. But Top Dog is, that's the first time I remember that, yeah. Big Dog and Top Dog.

And then that's really cute. Yeah, it's cute, yeah. And I'm a little dog. Yep. And our little kids are tiny dogs. That's true. Oh my god. Hey, buddy, it's Top Dog.

Yeah, she's playing bridge right now. Let's see if I can get him on the line. I don't know if I can. They're definitely home, that's for sure. That's the thing you forget during quarantine. You're like, oh yeah, you're always available. And everyone's available. There's no excuse to not text somebody back.

You think he smells his nuts a lot, your dad? I don't know. You think he enjoys the smell of his own nuts? Hello? Hey, dad. Hey, buddy, how you doing? Good, what are you doing, man? Well, you know, I just got out of shower.

And I just, I didn't tell you, but I had like a pimple just below my asshole. You didn't tell me that. So when I went to the dermatologist the other day, checking all my other stuff, she had to, it's right below and slightly to the left. And I've had it for like three weeks. So I'm in the office here and I got a, basically,

I got to be examined. So it felt like a woman with a gynecologist exam. But anyway, she rolls me over and makes me scratch my cheeks and she goes down there and says it looks like an ingrown hair or follicles or something like that. So I have to put on this antibiotic cream twice a day. And the trouble with that is, is that you

got to be able to lay in a certain position and do it. And with one hand, you have to put the cream on. But with the other hand, you have to kind of spread your cheeks, but you don't want to lose your balance. So it requires a certain skill set. I mean, does mom help you with that? No, I do this one on my own. I mean, you don't want her help?

Well, I know how she is about those kind of things. And so I'm able to do this. I'm guessing mom's not into butt play. No, there's no backdoor action in this house, no. No finger up the butt, nothing like that, right? None of that stuff. Yeah, let me, what is she doing right now? Is she there?

Now she's playing bridge right now. That's every time. Always. Hey, what do you think you would be like if you were gay? Do you ever think about that? If you were gay, do you think? I never thought about that. There's a lot of things I've thought about in life.

That's not one of them. I just think you'd be such a baller. Like you would just have, you know, you're a successful guy. You're retired. I mean, you take COVID out of the equation. I think you could just have any guy you want. You know what I mean? You know, it's just a chapter that I've never visited.

Yeah, yeah. We haven't discussed this yet, but we were both saying how we're both kind of fascinated by our own smells, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But there's certain. You have a great nose.

Yeah. Do you know what smell I'm most fascinated with on myself? What? My balls. Like if I scratch my balls and they smell, I keep smelling that finger a few times. But like armpit, it's just I'll just verify that it smells. And then I don't go back.

I'm just like, oh, that smells. I got a shower. But I don't keep going back. But balls, I'll do that thumb on the crease of the crotch. And then I'll be like, that smells. And then I'll go back. And I'm like, yep, that smells. And then I'll go back.

You know, I've noticed, in fact, when I was with the doctor the other day, I mentioned to her that I occasionally get jackets, because I have big thighs. It's, you know, you perspire. And so she puts on a rubber glove and lifts up my sack to check my crotch, OK? Yeah.

And she said, well, you got to. She said, do you use a hair dryer after you take a shower? Don't put it on hot. Put it on regular. And use that to dry off your crotch, because that's where a lot of people get jackets. A lot of fungus can grow in there. So a hair dryer.

That's how you use it. OK, but what about do you ever smell your nuts, though? You know what I mean? Is that a smell you're fascinated with, too? Yeah, I've done that before. I've scratched it, because I basically, I smell everything when I touch something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything, OK. And yeah, I've done that before. Back in the day, did you ever have a stinky lady? A what? A stinky lady. Like, you ever hook up with a lady who's not the best smelling? Oh, yeah, shit. Yeah, there's nothing, nothing.

Give your reason not to call again is that, OK? Yeah, yep. I remember one. I mean, she smelled like a dirty diaper. She was real stinky. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that is, that is it. She was hairy, too.

I think that hair was trapping it a little bit. You know, she was like extra hairy. She was gnarly. Well, that's always interesting about people's nationalities and their body hair. Yeah. You know, Italian women, Jewish women, Greeks tend to have Greeks.

Oh, yeah, Greeks, you know, never, never was with an Armenian, but they, you know, they're the only people that have to shave three times a day, OK? Yeah, yeah, they're very hairy. And then you get, like, ethnicity, like the Asians who's, you know, they're like hairless. It's great to worry about that. Well, I never, you know, all due respect to Asians,

never went there, OK? Oh, OK. Never, never went down that, that path. OK. Did you have an Italian or a Greek or a Jewish girl? Italian and Jewish, no Greeks. Italian and Jewish, no Greeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We have a Greek guy that works here. He's pretty gross, like, I get that. All right. Well, what was the Jewish girl like? She was pretty, she was, like, my first girlfriend. Really? Oh, yeah. Is that the way you say it?

This girl had a D cup in the eighth grade. Wow, nice. If you can imagine that. Yeah. I'd rather just imagine her later. Well, you know, when that testosterone starts leaking into the body, eighth grade, ninth grade, it really doesn't make any difference what grade it is.

True. Because at those days, you're just looking. You're not, you're not trolling for, you know, you'll be OK. Right. So, particularly back in the 60s, you know, it's all. So that was your first girlfriend, but she was your girlfriend in, like, eighth or ninth grade?

Well, I, you know, I, eighth grade, ninth grade, and when I was in college, we went out a couple of times. Oh, how was that? How was the college date? It was, it was, it was OK. You know, it was, but back when I got out of the Marine Corps, you know, we, she came up to visit one weekend and I went down there to see her a couple of times.

You know, and she, you know, when my parents were out of town one time, when I was in high school and college, she came over. I drove down to the house from Cincinnati. She drove up from the University of Kentucky. That was kind of a nice night. Yeah. Yeah, I went out with a couple of Jewish girls

and they gave, they gave great sloppy top, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, you know, this, she was really kind of, you know, your first girlfriend, you always remember that. That's true. That's true. How big were her tits by the time she was in college? Oh, they were, they were, they moved down the alphabet quite a bit, OK.

And, I mean, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know that with two letters together, what that mean in women's bras until, yeah, I checked that out on what her's like. Yeah, pretty big, huh? Oh, yeah. And, you know, you needed underwire and the other thing, it's wide straps up top.

Gotta have wide straps. Yeah. And did you hear that there's a big push right now to accept the idea that Santa Claus is gay? No, I saw that a thing that people were talking about. How did we know that Santa Claus is white? I've heard that before, but now there's a big push by a couple organizations

that are saying since we know that it's make-believe, why don't we just teach kids that Santa Claus is gay and that he does video chats with adults and that he, you know, he masturbates if you're good, that kind of thing. That'll play really well in Kansas and Nebraska. I'm sure that'll be a big start. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, look, I gotta run. I love you. Going outside, so let's go listen to Santa Claus get one off here, okay, that'd be great. Look, I love you. I cannot wait for August 14th. We're gonna do a live video chat with you and Mom for our first live streaming podcast, okay?

I'm excited for it. It's gonna be fun. Oh, that'll be fun. That'll be fun. Yeah. All right, I love you. I'll call you later. All right, bye.

Bye-bye. Oh my God, I think whoever suggested we call him, thank you so much. Unlike my father, I have been with a few Asian women, and I gotta tell you, I had a dream about one last night. Yeah, you did. I had a dream about an Asian woman, and it was very sexual in nature.

And there was an element, I only bring this up because of the talking about norm and shame and everything. Yes, yes. So my dream, I was with an Asian woman who I didn't recognize. It wasn't Allie Wong. It wasn't Allie Wong. Well, we just FaceTimed with her a couple nights ago.

No, it wasn't. So maybe it's Allie. It wasn't a familiar face. It's not the Indian girl. It wasn't the Indian girl, although it was right after watching hours of the Indian matchmaking show. But she wasn't Indian.

I mean, Indian is Asian, but I meant like she's not from India. She was Asian like she could have been Chinese or Korean or something, you know? Wait, what did you think she was? Like what did your intuition tell you? What kind of Asian? Maybe Chinese, Vietnamese, something like that.

But in the dream, I remember that I ejaculate all over her face and that I videotape it. And that I'm really happy about videotaping it. Why are you happy about videotaping? I don't know. What's the joy? But she didn't seem happy. But was the joy shaming her?

I can't really tell. I was just like, you know, look at, like I was enjoying looking through the camera and yeah, and she was Asian and I was real happy. You were enjoying, did you? I was really happy in the dream. Wait, but did you enjoy seeing your ejaculate on her? I think so.

And then videoing that bit, like that was the pride or? I think so. I mean, it's hard to like get into why I felt a certain way. I just remember like the actual, it's like reporting what I saw on the show. You gotta have your shrink analyze this one. I dreamt that I was about to have sex

with one of my ex-boyfriends. And then he took his wiener out and he started, he put his peener in his own beehull. And he started. This is a dream? And he started butt fucking himself with his own dick. And there was brown everywhere. Diarrhea everywhere.

For everyone that was about to be like, what's wrong with Tom? Please let your mind go to what's wrong with her. Cause I think that's a much more substantial. You think so? I think that's a mixed in from the corn video from a few weeks back. And, but he goes, do you want to have sex now?

And I go, absolutely not. There's chocolate everywhere. You said that in the dream? Yeah, he goes, you ready? Was that hot? And I was like, ew, no. You put brown on your dick. It's disgusting.

Come on, Mark, don't be stingy. Oh, I can feel it. Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh man. This is one of my favorite episodes in a long time. You're so gross. I really feel good. I feel so good.

I know you do. I know you do. This really makes me so happy. I know. I love it when you're happy. I do, I love it. May I bring up my dental update, please? Hold on, let me see all that gum.

Hold on a second. For fuck's sake. I'm gonna turn it up. Okay. It's been a while since the dental update. And so here's what happened. Our dentist retired on us. And so I found somebody near our new house.

I'm not a proud of this. Yeah. I thought it had been like maybe a year tops since my last cleaning. More. It's more. And I go into this new place, this new dentist, Asian guy, Chinese guy.

Maybe that's why you're having dreams. Because you told me you saw an Asian dentist. I was like, I'm coming all over her face. Yeah. So anyways, I go in there and I'm very proud of my brushing and flossing habits. And they give you the numbers of your gums. I'm here in two, three, one, two, three, two, three.

And I'm like, what's up? I floss, bro, like I'm bragging. I'm real braggadocious. And then out of nowhere, I hear five. Five. He gave me two fives. I was mortified. Now for those of you who don't know the number system,

that's they're grating your gums when he goes and he checks. And six. It gets way up there. Really? The number score can get up there, yeah. How high? I asked the other dentist that I went and said,

oh, that we know. And he's like, oh, I've had 12. And I go, what is that? He goes, that's like the tooth is coming through the gum line, like you have to do an extraction right then, yeah. Well, he said that six is on his scale. That's a high.

And that means it's very inflamed, it's not drunk. And I was mortified that I had two fives. Now in my defense, it's because it's around my crowns. The crowns naturally, it's harder to clean and floss around them and they irritate your gums. That's just natural. That's one of the problems of having crowns. But I was very embarrassed.

I was deeply ashamed. And then the hygienist was cleaning me and there was blood. Wow. And I'm not proud of it. And then she goes, do you floss? Do you fucking floss? Do I floss? No, and here's the worst part.

And then she goes, no, I heard your numbers were very good. And then she goes, show me how you floss. You got that beautiful mouth. Show me how you floss. And I was like, what is this a fucking pop quiz? I go, why don't you just tell me how you floss? Because you obviously, yeah, I go, I don't want, don't give me the pop quiz.

I was joking with her. Yeah, let me see. So you just show me what your racket is. You're having a rough, this has got to be rough on you. I got a drink. Hold on. Oh my God. Anyways, what is it?

What is in there? It's vodka. Anyways, this is how she taught me to floss. Now, I never learned it this way. This must be some new math, new math shit. She goes, you take it in a little narrow space and then you go up under the gum. Are you ready?

Not just once. That's what I've been doing, one, one, one, one. Five times. She goes, one, two, three, four, five. Okay, next. One, two, three. Yeah, I don't do that either. I don't know who does that.

Does anybody on planet earth? I go out of your fucking mind. And she's like, well, you flossed like, and then she gave me these soft picks to get around my crowns. And she's like, just do that a lot and that'll help. Massage your little hole. Yeah.

Anyways, have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? No, the five times is a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Now I'm doing it five times and it's taking like 10 minutes for me to get through my flossing routine. But I'll tell you what, I know her fucking name.

I was like, what's your name? So when I come back in six months, I want you to do my cleaning. Oh, I was gonna say, you also wanna show her the progress you've made in six months, right? That's what I'm saying because I'm not a quitter. You're like, Erica here?

Yeah. It'd be nice if you could set her to the back. Yeah, cause I'm gonna show her. I'll just say her first name, Patty. I'm gonna show Patty what's up in six months. You are, I know. And I'll be like, look bitch, five times and I use the soft pick.

How you like me now? Yeah. Proud of you. I'm not, I'm so mad at myself. I feel like it's a personal failure. Two fives, huh? Yeah, I mean, I get it. It's also part of, it's just part of life and aging, you know?

We're all gonna have scores that go down at some point. But the rest of them are good. Yeah, yeah. It's true. That's really good. You're not so bad, man. Don't beat yourself up. I know.

Don't beat yourself up. I want my fucking money, son! If you don't fucking pay me, son! I'll fucking shoot you kneecaps up, all right, boy? Don't fuck about with me, son! It's my living, all right, boy? Hard, son. It's all the rage now.

Bit long, miss, but I'll fucking shoot you if I don't get my fucking money, all right? Is this what this guy does? Don't fuck about, whoa! I'll fucking find you that shit-ass pub you keep in the bell row, son! Is this his acting reel? That's the thing, I don't know.

Because that's him in both clips. Is he in the other ones, too? I think he's just acting. Right, son! Whoa. You got two choices. You have a fucking pay me, son! Or I'll fucking blow you away, all right, boy, son?

You better pay me, my boy! I'll fucking do ya! It's an interesting way of holding that gun, too. Yeah, he's a profession. I've never seen someone hold the rifle overhand. That's interesting. Now, Tom, are you sexually attracted to him? No, I'm not.

It's because of your own societal norms. Yeah, that's true. Society telling you that obesity is not attractive. Yeah, I know. That's so fucked up of me. I want to say I'll fucking burn him! I'll fucking burn him, Tom, burn him! This guy's a nightmare to be around.

Do you think he's just R-worded? Is he tick-tocked? He's not just British. I think he's British and tick-tocked. He could be fully-tocked. Yeah. He's got, I think, he strikes me as having, you know, some type of brain damage.

Yeah. What makes you say that? Just all of it, everything. The way that he, the decision to make these videos. He does like fire a lot. Fire, guns, give me your fucking money, yeah. Right, like is he re-enacting things that he's seen in videos?

Seems like it. But I feel like there should be laws. For somebody that owns guns too, the choice to hold the rifle overhand really bothers me. Well, actually, I think that this actually might be a case for that he's not R-worded. Isn't there laws that R-words can't buy guns? But they can borrow guns from their R-worded friends

that have them, or they're not R-worded. I don't know. It's, oof, yeah, that's a lot. That was a really nice clip, though. Thank you for showing me that. Yeah, thank you. You're welcome. I have.

Thanks. I've got something to show you that I'm real excited about. All right. Okay? I wanna know. You know how much I love. How do you get a job here, you fuckface?

Of course. Fedsmoker. I'm feathering it in heaven every day. Yeah. And every time you think he's gone, you're reminded what an impact he left on you. You're like, Steve Jobs. You know, every time there's a new iPhone or an iPad,

you're like, God, what an impact this guy made. Yeah. And I feel the same way about these videos. So do you remember that we played like a, like Connell's nemesis a week ago, this guy? What's up, Connell? Yup. So you're having some problems in rifle Colorado.

And it is harassment on officer. I hope you get charged for every cop and every video you have for harassing each and every person. Cause it is harassment. Enjoy your day, ghost maker Peterson. By the way, love the way you change all them fucking YouTube channels, you fucking pussy. This guy has problems with Connell, you know?

Yeah. Touch my camera through the fence, you faggot. What the fuckface? This guy made a video confronting Fett smoker. And we get to see it here. It's short, but to see Connell in this light, it's pretty great. I just, I wonder if he knows that Connell

does not with us anymore. Well, he might now, but check this out. In your fucking community, man. This is the fucking guy. Do I want to hit me once? Do I want to hit you? Oh, I'd love to, bud. I'd love to, man.

It's not that shit, man. It's not the world, it's through your ass. Huh? Somebody harassing Connell for us. Yeah, it's true. It's one of the rare times we get to see Connell in a video where he's not filming. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Look at this. See this, sis? See this shit? Look at this. What you gonna do? Cause you ain't gonna do nothing, buddy. Take a swing, man.

I'll show you what I do. So you're gonna stand here in front of me and fucking tell me that shit? Take a swing, brother. It's right here. Swing where? Whew. Yeah, fucking kinda.

Fucking pussy. I'm sure you had your ass here in White Sperma. This is awesome. There's the Fed Mobile right there, man. Yeah. Dude, this is great. Did he call him out for having a White Suburban? Is that what he said?

He did. Yeah, he noticed he had the White Chariot there. Dude, this is like Terminator versus Predator. Yeah. This is so awesome, right? It's pretty rad. They're two of a kind. Dude, he noticed he's driving a Chariot.

Pussy. I gotta see it again. I feel like I really gotta, I can't believe it. This is your fucking community, man. This is the fucking guy. Do you wanna hit me once? Do I wanna hit you? Oh, I'd love to, bud.

I'd love to, man. It's through your ass, though. Look at this. See this, sis? See this shit? Look at this. What you gonna do? You ain't gonna do nothing, buddy.

Take a swing, man. I'll show you what I do. So you gonna stand here in front of me and fucking tell me that shit? Take a swing, brother. It's right here. Swing where? Whew.

Fucking kinda. Fucking pussy. But don't you? Fucking pussy. White Sperma. Oh. Don't you feel like they would be best friends, though? Yeah.

If whoever had a bag on him would be like, the one the other one was like, what's up, bro? Yeah. All right, here's your homework. You gotta find that guy. Like in real life? Yeah, you gotta contact that guy. We need to know who that guy is.

You must know more. Okay, we gotta talk to him. All right, we'll try and get him on the horn. No, we will get him. We will find him. I mean, you will contact him and we will speak to him. Yeah, there is no try, only do. Yes, yes, sir, Mr. Tom.

All right. Get him, babe. I know I wanna know what's the beef, when did it start? It's very interesting. Dude, do you have any idea how amazing this would be? I mean. Well, because they are very similar. They're two of a kind.

They should be best friends. And he would have Connell's stories for us. Like nobody else. Like real ones. You gotta get this guy. Yeah, yeah, he is the end of his year. And we do get to see that Connell's holding his camera. He probably just exposed some fucking federal officer

or something. Yeah, and I've never seen Connell's body. Like really seeing what he looks like from that far. He kinda looks like Ed Asner too. He looked really good. It was pretty cool, man. Oh my God, I'm just in heaven right now. Man, this is really gonna make you laugh.

Ready? Yeah. Is this funny to you? Oh, fucking fuck. Ah! Ah! Look how much you like that. Oh my God, I put my leg in.

You're gonna murder me in my sleep. Great. You ready? Yeah. Okay, watch this screen. I'm ready. I'm marching. Oh no.

Oh shit. That's it. Yeah, is he okay? I don't know. He's fine. And he's in like a third world country, so he's gonna die. He's not gonna live.

You don't wanna do that shit. Like there's a reason you don't go fucking parisailing when you go to Guam or wherever Pakistan for your holiday. I don't know. You know, I'll never go parisailing in Mexico. No, because if you take it to the hospital, you're dead. This guy's dead. I feel like.

You're really having an episode. You're transphobic, you're dog racist. You're hateful to anyone not living in the US. Oh, hands down, yeah. I mean, all the, yeah. All right, let's see what, so. No, this guy's dead. They just, listen.

This guy's dead. Fuck. And he had the cigarette in his mouth and everything. Let's see what, so there's a man on a scooter, but like a hot, it's not quite a motorcycle, right? It's a scooter, moped. It's definitely capable of going. I mean, it's not, you know,

we're not, it's not like a 15 mile an hour kind of instrument. Yeah, it's like a street legal, you know, moped. And he's taking it up a ramp and onto some type of, I don't know, is it to be displayed there or is that transport? It looks possibly like transport to me. But he doesn't realize that when he's going up the ramp that there's a roof to where he's taking it up.

So when he goes up the ramp, his head doesn't clear under that roof. He actually smacks it and then falls backward with the moped and then it falls on him. And then you just see him die there on the video. Again, I don't need to see this. Let's see. He's little too.

Oh, he's fine. He's not dead. He is not dead off of that. Do you think he is off of that? Well, I mean, the moped does fall on him, kind of funny. Yeah. Like if it falls on his neck in a specific way, it could be an ideal for him.

He's little too, he's not. Do you think, what do you think happened after this? He's tiny. People probably came and tried to take it off his neck. Yeah. But it might have been too late. Come on. Here's the thing is that Zullo had this prepped.

I was actually on the fence on whether or not we should leave it in because he's not making a funny sound. It's just a guy getting hurt, which is why I had you. And there's no more footage than this. This is where it ends. That's all we got. Oh, God. Here's the thing.

You've done that before. You know, you've conked your head on like you're getting into the car and you're like, oh, nobody saw that. It was so embarrassing. He's going really fast up a ramp and essentially does that conk of like, he had a cigarette in his mouth.

Like he was chilling. This wasn't a great day for him. He's not having a good day. But not alone. Have you had whiplash before? It sucks. It sucks. No, this day sucks.

This video, he hates watching this video. But I don't think he's severely injured. I don't think he's severely injured from this. Yeah. Do you? Really? I don't know. I don't know.

What do you guys, what do you think? Uh, I don't know. Maybe he, it seems like he hit his head pretty hard. I'm just, I mean. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe he'll be, maybe he'll be in another, a different type of video next.

You think he's going to be British? You'll, yeah, he'll be on your next British or touched. Yeah. Oh, by the way, we haven't discussed that you have new hair. Oh yeah, yeah. I'm super saying. What, when did you make the decision? This was a couple of days ago, I think it was.

And three days ago? Did you see something and it prompted it or you just had the idea, I'm going to dye my hair? Well, actually it was my roommate that did it first. And he was like, you want to just try to, you want to dye my hair tonight. And I was like, I don't. He's like, you want a match, bro?

He said, you want to dye my hair tonight. I said, I don't know how. And he was like, that's fine. Like we could, we could just figure it out. Whoa. All right, screw it. So we did it. And then we had a lot of the mix left over

because we just, we didn't know how much to get. So we got a ton of the bleach and the mix and all that. And then when we were done, we had enough left. He was like, it's like shit, man. So I guess you're going blonde next as like a joke. And we kind of laughed. And then it was silent. And I was like, all right, I'm going to sit in that chair.

Let's, why don't you just. It looks great. How was the process? Was it like intimidating? Was it easy? Was it, you know, simple to do? Yeah, I don't really think about it. It was simple.

You just, I mean, you mix like two parts of one thing, two parts from another thing. Does it burn? Put it in your hair. It burns a little bit. Same thing, but you leave it in for an hour. Eventually the burn goes away and then you just wash it with cold water.

Yeah. You're a natural blonde. Now I'm a blonde. Are you enjoying your new look? I like it. Yeah. I think it's, it's different. It helps me, different styles are possible

that I didn't realize were possible before. So that's cool. You just got to go to Odell Beckham Jr's page and be like, what are you doing this week, bro? I feel like he's a trend setter. You guys fuck with it more. You think this is better like this? I like it.

I like it. I think you're always stylish, but I love this. I think it's just fun. Also, you can pull this off. Not everybody can pull it off, man. No, you can. I mean, watch like next week we come in and I was like, you guys like my blonde hair?

Yeah. He kind of cute. Huh? I wouldn't look good with blonde hair. Fuck no. I think he would. What color, what color do you think he should go? Ginger is tough.

You got to be careful. Don't go black. Are you thinking of going red hair? Blonde? Blonde would work with him. Or like a Takashi rainbow type of deal. Yeah. It would work some sort of like something

that it like will cost a lot of money to maintain. Yeah. That feels like right now. I think you could do different hair cuts that would work. What type? I mean, I've always been like, hair always grows back. Yeah. And like I'm not losing my hair or anything.

I think you could do, I feel like I could do. I'll do it. I'll literally do anything. That's what I like to hear. That's what I like to hear. Yeah, I don't give a shit like it grows back. You should do patterns, shapes, all types of things. Why don't you make him do the muck?

Remember you wanted me to do the horseshoe? The skullet? Yes. You want me to do a skullet? Yes. I think that's good punishment for deleting the video. I regret saying that pretty quickly. But yeah, you're right.

I don't give a shit. Will you do that? I'll do it. I'll do a skullet. I've actually done a skullet in the past for Halloween. Really? Yeah, because I dressed up as Hunter as Thompson. So I just did a male pattern baldness.

I want you to dress up as Ed Asner. And you have the... Which version of him? The one that we saw in the video today? Or him in the elf? I want to come in. You have the skullet and you have those blue sweatshorts and nothing else.

And you do the show like that from the chair. And we get you the same type of mic, headphones, and everything that that has. And then I got a jerk off on camera, too. Is that the next step? No. You don't have to do that. Where's the line here?

Where's the line at the end of this tunnel? There's no jerking off. But I would appreciate you. That's off-limit. I would appreciate you chatting with some folks online. Let's take baby steps. Let's start with the skullet. OK, skullet first.

Check this out. This is pretty awesome. You ready? Interview with the squirrel. Take one. Yeah, I'm a squirrel. And what do I like to do? See my bushy tail.

What do I like to do? I like to climb up on trees and get up in your attic. And I got fleas all over me. And it ain't about my nuts. It ain't about my nuts. And I got claws. You can't see them because I need a haircut. But I got claws, you know, and I can scamper and I can leap.

I hate them so much. Right up on your throat. I hope he gets hurt a lot. Why couldn't this guy slam his head into the wood thing, the shed? Why do you want him to get hurt? I'd hate him on a moped. He's something on it. I need a place to store these nuts for the winter time.

Here it comes. I like these things. Then I come back and eat them. I like nuts. We get it. I'm not nuts. I like nuts. I hate him.

So get me trapped by a nuisance trapper and make sure you get exclusion work. It's a commercial for his business. This is a. I hate him. This is a commercial. This is terrible. And he doesn't mention that he's doing a commercial for his business

until the fourth minute of this video. Four minutes. Yeah. So for four minutes, he's like, I'm a squirrel. I like nuts. And then also he's like, give me a call. And I can come and take care of your pest control. Like, dude, this is why you have bad videos.

You have bad ideas and no one's helping you. Yeah. This is why everyone assumes they can be in show business. It's actually a skill, you guys, to make commercials and do stuff. I hate him so much. I was hoping he's going to get hurt. Where's them getting hurt? Come on, Mark.

Don't be stingy. I can't stop thinking about him. Why do you what about it? Do you like so much? I'm trying to like, what about it? Because it's so perverse and so gross. He's so disgusting. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, we're coming. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so much. Yeah. I thought all guys were like that. I mean, chat and come. I didn't know that that was like just that guy's a real outlier. I thought that's how all people are that do stuff like that.

Oh, it's normal size. It's not that big. It's normal. The one thing that I'm going to tell you is that the first time it's going to be quick with me because it's been a long time. That's all right. That's fine. OK, you come.

You come. Let me see. Let me see how much you come. Let me let me see all that how how much how how big a load I'm going to swallow. Yeah, it's like he's he's at Home Depot and he's like, how big is that? Two by four. Like, he's so matter of fact. He's so calm.

Yeah, and gets a lumber for me. I need it right now. It's the whole package. There we go. I mean, that was right. That fucking belly and he's no shame. You really see this? Give it to me now.

He's really really. I see it. He has to reach under. Come on, Mark. Please touch it. Well, Mark, he's so fat that he has to. I'm going to put this in your mouth and you're going to have to suck it dry. You're going to just suck it dry, Mark.

You got that beautiful mouth. Give it to me, Mark. Yeah, yeah, oh, I can feel it. Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh, that's gonna be good. Oh, my God. Every time you play this, I go to a sad, dark place. Yeah.

And then I have to get myself out of it. Really? Yeah. And this makes you happy. This is like, makes me feel sick inside. Yeah. Oh, I can't. Oh, that one makes me happy.

Damn. You bet I'm coming up in me. Yeah. You better believe I'm coming up in me. Oh, he does the fat guys. You are terrific. I know you're going to be good in bed. That's all I can say.

Ugh. He put the shorts up above his fat roll to try to conceal it. That was so horrible, babe. Was it? I don't like that. I don't like that as much as you. Was it worse than me?

No, I don't like this guy either, man. I'd rather watch the other guy all day. Really? Watch this. I don't like this. Rather watch the guy jerk off. Than this weird beard. I don't like his fucking dad jeans and his dad sneaks.

All right, let's cleanse the palette before we go. I heard you bitches were looking for me. Really? Bitch, here I go. Yes, it's Christmas. Thank you. I'm telling you, I'm having a great mood. Thank you.

You really are happy today. Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad you're happy. It was playing tennis. I'm not body positive. I'm radical self-acceptance, and this is why. The idea of body positive is that all bodies are beautiful, which is not true.

All bodies are valid, and there should not be any emphasis placed on beauty in order for somebody to feel worth. Saying that all bodies are beautiful doesn't dismantle beauty. It actually just places more emphasis on beauty itself and makes it sound like you have to be beautiful in order to be worth something, which isn't true.

Ugly and beautiful should be like neutral terms. It shouldn't matter what you look like at all. Your worth is not determined by your appearance. Jesus, how long do you talk for? That's why I'm radical self-acceptance, because I accept myself radically. No matter what I look like, it doesn't matter. OK.

God. Do you know what I think about when I watch this video? Being a parent, because this person is young. She's young. And I go, if my son was saying this to me, I would be like, OK, let me tell you something. If you come in here and you say that shit to me one more time, you're not going to have a car.

You're not going to have clothes in your room. This is nonsense. You don't lecture me about anything ever. So take your thoughts, shut the fuck up, and stop posting videos. You're making everyone uncomfortable, OK? Yeah. And don't you think she'd feel differently

if she were like a hot chick? Of course. Like hot and skinny. Of course. I mean, yeah. Yeah. You develop this type of personality for a reason. Yeah, you're not like cute.

No one's fucking you, that's why. Let's be honest. It's true. If she were like hot. You're fucking living with the hand you were dealt, OK? Yeah. And this is how it manifested. And like the, OK, so shaving all your hair off

and leaving the bangs and the Jewish curls on the side and painting it green, you think that's going to make you hotter? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're making things worse. Attractive is what I'm trying to say. But she's making herself unattractive. She's got the door knocker.

She's got the green. I'll tell you something, you are on one today. So I'm just being honest. Let me just skip to the next episode here. The next video. This is a great one. Oh my god. That one's just for you, babe.

That looked like it hurt way more than the motorcycle. Yeah. Holy shit. I mean, she barely cleared the wall. She barely cleared that wall. For if you're listening, it's a, it's an Ed Asner type build on a woman who's supposed to run and jump off of a little, little hill into the water.

Doesn't do either of those well. I mean, she's, she's running down the side of the wall. You realize that she's so slow that she doesn't actually leave the wall on her way down when her legs are going this, she's touching the wall. She, you have to jump out. Right. Right.

And she doesn't jump out hard enough to clear it. She goes there. She goes, oh fuck. That close. That close. And they're like, good job, Sheila. That was great. Why didn't you see the video?

It looks great. You jumped so far. And then when you see yourself doing something, you're like, that's what that looked like. Like she's like, in my mind, I ran and I jumped off of the hill into the water. But I'm just going to post this every time people ask me the same questions over and over again.

OK. My name's Farrah. I am a trans woman, as well as an intersex woman. My pronouns are she, her, they, them, or your grace. My eyes are tattooed. My nose is a piercing. I identify as a threat, a nightmare, and a goddess. So please bow down to me.

I do not believe in God. I don't worship the devil. But yes, I am a Satanist, which means I am my own God and I worship myself. Thank you. Have a good day. You like that one? We should rename this video.

We should just call it This Is 2020. Let's just title this video This Is 2020. And keep this, like, available at any time, you know? Yeah, it's so crazy, right? What does it mean, honestly? I mean this curiously. What does it mean to be an intersectionalist female, like she said, right?

Yeah, what is it? I'm just going to post this every time people ask me the same questions over and over again. My name's Farrah. I am a trans woman, as well as an intersex woman. Intersex. What does that mean? Intersex.

What does it mean to be an intersex woman? Shit. So intersectionality is a theoretical framework for understanding how aspects of a person's social and political identities might combine to create unique modes of discrimination and privilege. What the fuck, man? What does that even mean?

I don't know. What if you put that question, what is an intersex? Hold on. Zolo just told me that I googled the wrong thing. OK. Whoop. OK. Intersex, oh, sorry.

Yeah, is a general term used for a variety of situations in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't fit the boxes of female or male. Sometimes doctors do surgeries on intersex babies and children to make their bodies fit binary ideas. OK. I'm still kind of lost. But she's trans, too.

Right. I don't know. Come on. Moving on. I mean, there's so much going on. All you dumbasses at studios that make kids shows. The term shut up refers to a sexual act. If you include that in shows like SpongeBob and Thomas,

fuck you. Hail, my stepdad. I know. It's a good one, right? That's a really good one. People are pissed. People are. Shut up is a sex act.

I don't think it is to shut up. And then who's he hailing? Hail Satan. I don't know. His stepdad. His stepdad is? I don't know. He's no longer with us, or?

I don't know. It's a lot. It's a lot. I just wanted to say goodbye, TikTok. No. Those ones that are betraying God and Jesus will suffer. And that's all I care about. So bye now.

No. Don't leave TikTok. No. Do you hate when they threaten to leave? Yeah. Just leave. Yeah. Bitch, no one cares.

It's like when bulls don't call me anymore. You don't have to tell someone. Just don't pick up their calls, dude. Dad, where are we going? Max, Max, Max, Max. Darling, stop. Yes, sir. So he's speaking Korean to his dad.

Just to annoy the shit out of him. I love these videos where kids just annoy their parents. I see myself in his father, and I see myself in him. I see both. Yeah. Dad, where are we going? Max, Max, Max, Max. Darling, stop.

Yes, sir. I like that kid. I do, too. It's adorable. Hi, everybody. It's Sir Ezra. And welcome back to What's My Toy Bag. Today, I'm showing you my hood.

So this here is a hood, a leather hood, with eyeballs and an out hole. And it laces up in the back, as you can see. So it can get nice and tight. And this is used in play for restricting somebody's senses or allowing them to feel dehumanized or humiliated and things like that. It's also a great opportunity for me

to remind you to wear your mask. It's a global pandemic. Wow. I wasn't expecting that right, Turnton. Yeah. He politicized it. Yeah. Also, it's good for sensory play.

I think y'all need to take a chill pill and eat a banana and feel like I did. Oh, there's a nice tongue thing at the end there. Well, that, there's a clip on his ear, and there's just a little bloodstain on the pillow to make you wonder what the fuck is happening to him. It's a lot. And then there's someone going, who are you talking to?

Who are you talking to right now? Why are you talking to your phone like that? What come you talk? And he goes, at the end, it's a really nice one, babe. Good job. This is perhaps one of my most requested videos. Today, we're going to talk about hybrid children. My name is Shosh.

I use they, them pronouns. And I'm a star seed, channeler, and spirit worker. Hybrid children are a type of star being that consists partly of our DNA and partly of the DNA of other galactic energies. So if you are a star seed, you may also consider yourself a hybrid child. But when I talk about hybrid children,

I'm talking about the ones that are not yet here. So I work with hybrid children. Right now, they're living on ships in kind of parallel worlds or realms. And they're actually in schools where they learn about what living on Earth is like, because they are going to be coming here eventually. Probably sooner than we think.

So I work with them in my meditations, teaching them things, and I also have a hybrid child myself. So my child is made up partly of my energetic template. I personally don't remember the time in which my energetic template was sampled. But some of you may remember these experiences. Yeah, I do. I remember mine.

So our part two, we don't have to get to that. But I would mark this, too, as another example of how cool this year is. Aren't you a star seed being? You're not a child star being? It's really fantastic. What are your pronouns, they, then? One more.

Last one. Is it really just not common knowledge that you don't cleanse to get rid of a spirit or ghost and or entity? Are you really telling me that it's not common knowledge that you do a banishing? He zoomed in for that in there. That was really nice.

I like his indignation. Like, God, he's just a fucking dumb. Warlocks don't know that. Stupid bitch. There's two closing songs. You give me two? Yeah, I mean, they're both bangers. You can pick either one.

OK. Whichever one I don't pick, make sure you save it, though, for the next one. Yeah? I really feel like this was such a fun episode. It was really fun. And again, I'll leave you with the parting repetition of the fact that we're doing our first ever

Your Mom's House Live and Uncensored. Uncensored, big deal. And worldwide. Worldwide, everywhere. You can get tickets. August 14th is the live show at 5 p.m. Pacific, 8 Eastern. Again, you can get tickets wherever you live. South America, London, somewhere in Canada.

Where's the link going to be for people to purchase? Well, the link's going to be in the description. And I said it'll be all over all social media of this episode. Also, the URL is onlocationlive.com. No, you're not saying it right. Oh, sorry. HTTPS, semicolon, backslash, backslash, onlocationlive.com, slash your mom's house.

So we're really excited about it. You actually, you said semi-colon. Oh, I'm sorry. It's a full colon. Did they type it in wrong? Yeah, yeah, maybe don't type it in. Maybe just go to the link in the description, OK? Like I said, no censoring, no blurs.

We can do whatever we want. And TopDog and Charo are joining us. We have another guest joining us. Big episode. It's a big episode. Lots of surprises. It's our first time ever doing it. I hope you'll join us.

What else? Oh, the sale in the store, or merchmethod.com, slash Tom Segura, 20% off, the 29th through August 2nd. A lot of fun. Jean, you ready to go? I love you. Love you too. This is Delta White Mouse Pad, Kosher Charo

Remix by John Douglas. All right, see you next time. I am a fucking Jew. I've certainly got something interesting in the mail today. Delta White, Kosher Mouse Pad. What's interesting about this mouse pad? Like a mouse, Charo Coff, well, it's only over a body. Put the mouse, put the mouse, put the mouse, put the mouse,

put the mouse, put the mouse, put the mouse, put the mouse. Her policy is yawning, her tits are fantastic. I certainly wouldn't mind tasting her magnificent ass. I paid $20 for this mouse pad. I'm going to be fine with it. Oh, fuck, yeah. Put the mouse, night talk. Put the mouse, life survival.

Put the mouse, 100% kosher. Put the mouse, fucking Delta White Mouse Pad. Put the mouse, oh, fuck the mouse. Thanks for watching.