Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 577 - Josh Potter - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 11, 2020

NEW LIVE SHOW - Friday, November 20th @ 5PM Pacific! Go to https://ymhvirtual.com and get tickets now! SPONSORS: - Go to Saatva.com/theshit to save $225 on your order - Go to Truff.com and use code "MOM" for 10% off your order site-wide. - Go to Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in MOM. - Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com/MOM - Go to GetRoman.com/MOM today and if approved, you’ll get fifteen dollars off your first order of ED treatment. WELCOME TO THE YMH NEWS NETWORK! Tom Segura and Christina P start off this episode of Your Mom's House by discussing the presidential election, and what Donald Trump will do during his remaining 70 days in office. They take a look at televangelist Kenneth Copeland's response to Joe Biden's victory, and cover the Trump press conference that was held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. We also learn that Trump was actually a YMH fan and watch a montage of him discussing jeans. The main mommies discuss CP's Halloween costume, men sitting on women's faces, gay fitness, and familiarize the audience with Tom's sister OMG Maria. Jean and Jean watch an update from the Big Butt Cool Guy, a fart that rivals Charo's, an Australian man give himself a haircut, and more! YMH regular and host of the Roach Motel, Josh Potter joins Tom and Christina to discuss edibles and other psychedelics, Alex Trebek's passing, Hunter Biden's cool leaked video, wearing socks in the bedroom, and more! They take a look at some crazy turbulence on a flight, a guy that doesn't like the song "Sweet Caroline," Joel Osteen's inspiration cube, Sean Connery on hitting women, some Steven Seagal-style martial arts, and this week's batch of Christina's TikTok curations.

Go to YMHVirtual.com right now and get tickets to the third YMH Live Crazy Guests and Crazier Content. And good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whatever time of day you are listening or watching your mom's house news network for Christina P. I'm Tom Segura, it's 63 degrees outside. Trump 2024, guys. Yep, the reelection campaign. Here we go.

I don't know about you, but I am hungover from all the election talk. I'm exhausted. It is exhausting. It is exhausting. And the last four years have been exhausting. Oh my God. I kind of, you know, I told someone the other day, I feel like for four years Game of Thrones has been on 24 seven.

And now some of us are like, can we watch C-Span for a while? Can we watch something boring? Can I just watch the House floor debate a bill about, you know, windmills? I know. I just want to watch an episode of like the Kardashians. I just want to be brainless. Here's what I am excited about. And like, you know, it's over.

Okay. The elections. I mean, there's all those people. No, Tom. They're suing. They're recounting. Fraud. All right.

Those people are fun. You know, here in the real world where it's over, I am excited and kind of nervous about the next 70 days of like what Trump might do. He's so untraditional. Like he's so untraditional. He's so not like anybody else. And he's so pissed off that you might wake up one morning and they'll go, Hey, you know, there was an earthquake in Nevada last night, pretty significant.

And then 90 minutes later, they're like, no, no, uh, Trump tested a nuke. He dropped a, he dropped a hydrogen bomb and we'll be like, what the fuck? And by the way, as crazy as that sounds, if that really happened, you'd be like, I could see that happening. I could see it happening. Like he might fire his whole cabinet and just staff it with North Koreans and he'll be like, fuck it. I like the guy.

So he sent over some of his cousins. Do you think you think you could do that much damage in the next 70 days? It's not that even, yes, but also it's like, it's, um, it might not even be lasting damage. I think it's a big like, it's a big fuck you. He's going to burn. It's like, there's going to be some crazy shit that happens. It's like when you get fired and I am here for it. I just want to make that clear.

I am here for whatever he does. It's like when you get fired from a job, you can either leave quietly or you can burn the building down on your way out. I'm guessing he's going to do the latter. Yeah, he's not going to be like, you know what? I want what's best. So here you go. No way.

Do you think he's going to throw a party, like a huge party and trash the White House before he leaves? You know what he might do? He might be like, you know, um, so there's a hundred guys on death row in Florida. I just let him out. We're going to release them on the Democrats. Yeah. He might do some crazy shit.

And how soon before Melania files for divorce? Is that happening now? That's a good question. She is out. No. She'll, she'll, it's part of the agreement. The agreement's probably like you got to write it out until the bitter end, but you know what?

She got a bump when he got elected. Oh, I bet. Is that true? Do you really know that? Yes. That's why she didn't go to these. If you remember back in 2016, they're like, she's still in New York and she was renegotiating the prenup.

That's hilarious. Yeah. But I'm sure a provision of that is like, you can't split seas right away. Yeah. I bet. But she's counting these 70 days down. She's probably like, we're out bare in the night. We're back in New York.

Of course. We're shopping again. Did you ever hear this great audio? She was one of her close confidants. Yeah. Recorded the call. Yeah. And she goes, she goes, I don't Christmas.

I fucking hate Christmas. I don't want to decorate. I like her for that. I like her too. Because if I was the first lady, I'd be like, I fucking hate decorating. No, no way. Well, she said they always, everybody's criticizing me. She's right.

They're throwing her. She's like, look, I'm just a hot whore from the fucking, from Eastern Europe. I came here to suck and fuck an old rich guy. And now I got to decorate this house. I don't want to do this shit. But I will give credit to Americans because they don't shit on her. For some reason, she's become exempt. And I think it's because we sympathize.

Everybody sympathizes with Melania. I don't know that I agree with you. Really? I feel though. I feel that people take it easy on her. No, I don't think so. You think they shit on her hard? Yeah.

Oh, I don't, I don't get that. Yeah. Yeah, they do. They definitely do. Maybe it's in my mind. I don't shit on her hard. Yeah. I think that's just projecting that onto the Americans.

Yeah, people do. And I don't think they should. And by the way, I love whores. I don't think that like people are thinking that I'm trying to be disrespectful. I think whores are great. I think whores are great too. And I'll tell you why. Even that Anna Nicole Smith, everybody trashed her back in the day.

But let me tell you something. You make an old man's life happy for the last year or two of his life. It's an exchange. You better pay that whore. Yeah. You better pay that whore. Now, she was going for way more than she should have. To get, to get something.

Yeah. Yeah. Like if you come in and I'm 90 and I've got millions of dollars, it's not like, yeah, it's cool that I ride the wave of, you know, joy on your tits on the way out. You're not entitled to all of it. Like you should get a little, little peace. Well she's shooting for the moon to get the stars. Right.

Well, she, yeah, but she was, she was out of line. She was out of line. Yeah. But you should pay hoes for sucking 90 year old beanbags. Yeah. And licking, you know, but can he even have sex at that age? You're just sitting on his lap and jiggling your tits in his face. Which is great.

That's an easy job. Makes me so happy. So happy. Yeah. She was great too. She was hot. There. There's the love of her life right there.

12 years old. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. She's like, oh, he's so hot. I love you so much. And that guy was just like, oh my God, I mean, he didn't know what room he was in. Sort of like the new president.

All right. So. How scary was it to watch Biden run down that, that project runway? What do they call it? The runway? Yeah. I was like, he's going to break his hip. Don't let him run.

I was so scared for him running. You know, people are just like, just, can you make it to January 20th? Are you going to hold on for these fucking 70 days? Please? Yeah. But you know what they finally figured out is that somebody finally gave Biden a spray tan because next to Trumpy, he looked so peeked and pale. And finally, Holly would got ahold of him and made his skin tone look a little nicer

on camera. Yeah. He looked a lot better when he gave his victory speech, his unofficial victory speech. I don't know what to call it. Well, look, there's a lot to talk about here. Let's open the show. I'm exhausted. Are you ready to open the show?

I'm ready. Let's fucking make sure there's volume. Fucking. Here we go. The media said what? The media said Joe Biden's president. Oh, my God. Who is Randy?

Don't bring anyone loving to this. And Christina Pajitz and Christina Pajitz, welcome to your mom's house. Pretty cool video, right? Yeah. I think Rudy Giuliani did a version of that, too, where he was like, oh, the media works. Oh. And did you hear that? The media said what?

The media said what? And did you hear the Four Seasons foible? That is. Look, if you can't appreciate how funny this is, because it is obvious what happened. And I only wish we had cameras in the White House to break this down. So just so you know, President Trump announces after the election has been called, he's like, we're going to have a press conference at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. A little while later, he deletes that tweet and he goes, it's going to be at Four Seasons

total landscaping. And everybody's like, wait, where's that? Well, it's like outside the city, it's a completely random place. And they held a press conference that his lawyers were at, Giuliani held. Meantime, Four Seasons, the hotel branch goes, hey, just to be clear, this is not taking place at our location. He's going to be at Four Seasons total landscaping. What's hilarious about it is you know Trump and or somebody was like, book the Four Seasons

to a lower level person to hold this press conference. You know that happened. And then somebody realized they had booked Four Seasons total landscaping. And then it was too late and they were just like, we just got to go with it. That's the best part is they were just like, I thought it was that. I booked it and they're like, just hold the press conference there. Hold the press conference. It's next to an adult bookstore and across the street from like a vape shop.

Shit. The president's personal lawyer is like, here we are Four Seasons total landscaping. The best thing is that Four Seasons total landscaping put out a statement being like, like explaining the whole story. We were so happy. We would have held this not a partisan thing. Anybody wants to hold a press conference here. We're happy to do it.

And at the end of all that, and they go and merch will be available on Monday. It's the best. Total landscaping. I want Four Seasons total landscaping merch too. I know. I think that's amazing. Oh God. That is just like perfect.

That was perfect. What a weird time we live in. And then the best part is they, Pfizer announced that the vaccine is 90%. I am not conspiracy theorist at all. But for the election to be called and then like two days later, one of the biggest farmers of Google companies in the world is like, guess what? I think the vaccine is ready to go. You're like, okay.

Look what we found. We just found this vaccine laying here. Oh really? The vaccine's ready? We found the secret ingredient. It's Trump Tears. Put it in here. Good Lord.

It was. Oh my God. Yeah. So it's been a wild, wild couple of days. Friends all over the world. And people are, this is like, you have no idea. I mean, every shop, restaurant, diner, basically across the world has been glued to the TV too. Watching this thing.

They're just like, what's going to happen? I know. My friend in Canada, Shane was like, hey, good congratulations. I mean, the world wanted to know. Global issue. Well, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, some people are thrilled. Some people are not.

They're like, in the end, America spoke and America said. He didn't fall a proto, buddy. You're done. That's what they said. I wish Fed Spoker were a part of the election. You're fired, bud. They let him know. You know what?

They need to give him an hour on CNN and he can tell us his feelings and thoughts. President Trump, from America to you. Ta-ta, they're returned. Now, I realize though, it is a divided country and I don't think it's, you know, all jokes aside, like, I hope that we can move forward in a better way. You know? It's been a really intensely brewing, boiling, bubbling pot of emotions for the last four years.

And now we're here and you're like, well, I hope that this guy can just cool everybody's jets a little bit. I think, I hope. This has been a rough, rough, especially this year has been rough. I hope so. I mean, look, politics aside, I think Trump was just, his personality was so hard to deal with. That's what a lot of people bumped up against, you know?

Yeah, like, I don't, whatever, you know? And like, I hear the thing. Policies aside, just stop tweeting, asshole. The tweets. Yeah, he's not. And pushing foreign diplomats aside. Like, just the nuttiness. I don't want any more nuttiness.

It's so easy to bump up against, you know, that guy's entire existence. And also, you know, wondering what he'll do. It's not like he's going to go like, well, I'm happy to retire now. Like, it's not in his personality, you know? So he's going to be, everyone's talking about Trump TV. Which we, I think would be great. It's great for him. Fantastic.

And I think he'd be really great at that. He's a great entertainer. Yeah. He knows how to get an audience. He's great at that. He's great at that. If the news outlets will be disciplined enough to not cover everything he does after he leaves. Because I actually think that fuels a lot of the anger and the hatred.

Definitely. It's like, all we do is cover everything that this one individual says and does. And that definitely contributes to people being upset about him, people defending him. It's like, if he's an ex-president at this point, you don't have to cover everything he does. And I will say, too, like, we never, at least I never heard about the good things he did do while in office. I don't know. I just don't know. Because CNN, I don't think they covered.

Well, I actually, I am embarrassed that I had no idea while I was expressing that I was not a supporter or a fan of his. I mean, I understood he held the office. I didn't dispute that. But I just wasn't into. I didn't know he was a fan of ours. Really? I did not know this. And then it was sent to me that President Trump was actually a big YMH fan.

Oh my gosh. Here's the, um, here's the footage right here. Well, I feel so bad now. Good, good genes. Very good genes, okay? If you believe in genes, some do some don't. Good genes, we believe in genes, right? We're allowed to say that.

Do we believe in the gene thing? I mean, I do. A lot of it's about the genes, isn't it? Don't you believe? Tell me about genes. That's great, because you have good genes. Good genes. You have good genes.

You have very good genes. Just remember the President, you have great genes. Good genes. You believe in genes? He's got good genes. He's got good genes. You have great genes. Genes of great women, great men.

Uh, frankly, great genes. Those two young men have the greatest genes anyone's ever had. The best genes I've ever seen. Thank you. Good genes in the Pence family, don't they? You gotta go with those genes. You can't get any better. Uh, gene?

There's a man of great genes. His name is Gene. He has good genes though. You know, he's got good genes, right? I tell you, she's got good genes that I can tell you. Good genes for everything. A young man who is born with a great gene. A man with really fantastic genes.

Gotta have, like, the best genes in the world. Thank you. Although you had a next governor here that had very good genes too. We have good stuff. We have great genes in this room. Good genes, you have good genes. You have good genes, you know that, right? Amazing.

Wow. Did you salute him? Well, I mean, I felt bad, you know. I was like, wow, he's actually a big fan. I know. I wasn't aware. I would have invited him on the show. Yeah.

Maybe he'll come on now. Maybe he'll come on now. He's got some free time. Uh, my favorite, um, Trump moment, the last four years for sure. If you're gonna cough, please leave the room. Yeah. And that still stands. I still say that to you.

Yep. I like that one. If you're gonna cough, go outside. Please. Let's do that over. He's coughing. Let's do that again. He's coughing.

I like that sentiment. I share that sentiment. Yeah. See, we're not all divided. We're not all divided. I like some things, Trump said and did. So, let's move forward. Hold on.

You gotta get the recount. So, um... Dicks. Dang. Count. Recount. Moving on. Oh, how long will Bidey live?

I know that people are excited, um, to, to place their bets. Will he make it to January 20th? Will he make it to March? Oh, geez. Um, I don't think he lives for years. I don't think so either. I think Kamala's gonna be the president very soon. And I think...

Spring? Here's what, here's the deal. Do you know how much a presidency ages people to? I know that. I know. It's dog years. You look at any of them and you're like, poof. Everyone looks, even Obama, who started a young man, is now an old guy.

Here's what I predict. Winter's gonna be tough with the flu and the COVID. We're gonna get through this. I predict one year and then he dies. One year of stress on that, on his heart, on his body, and then... Yeah, look at those. Yeah, I know. Look at these things before and after presidency stuff.

They, um... I know. Yeah, they always age way harder. I mean, they're so stressed. I know. They're so stressed. After Obama was done being president, didn't he go on a year-long vacation? Like, there's always pictures of him on a jet ski for like the next three years.

For sure. Yeah. For Trump, I don't know. I don't see. I mean, he does have the spray on a lot and that's not accurate. It was to be, you know, Trump started older. I will say that they eased up on the raccoon eyes, spray tan. Somebody did advise him that the white's under.

See, he looks a little better now. At the end? It's not so white around the eyes and then orange. You really think that was like a campaign week thing? They're like, we haven't told you this for four years. Yeah. You look insane with the spray shit on your face. Really?

Yeah, man. You're fucking orange, dude. Take it off. He's like, why didn't anyone say anything? Because we're terrified of you. Dial it back. Orange. Okay.

Yeah. I didn't know this stuff didn't look good. Okay. Oh, Milania. So here's what I was. Donald, you're too orange. I was surprised you didn't hear this, know this term and maybe I wanted the guys. You know what a dick broom is?

A dick broom? Yeah. Yeah. I have never, I've never heard of that. Larsen, you know what a dick broom is? I have never heard of that either. Yeah. And Zola either?

Zola? Nope. Really? This is just you, Tom. Is this just hidden stuff with your dick? I mean, what? No, I just thought that this was like, I mean, I think, I feel like I first learned this in middle school.

Well, I got lost on us on the west coast here. Okay. That must have been a Midwest thing. Well, a mustache is a dick broom. And it still doesn't make sense to me. Oh. Because you're brooming it as you're blowing it. Yeah.

When you're sucking on a D, you're brooming the top. Yeah. Or the bottom depends on which position you're at, you know. And so was this, was this like your first gay term, like where you're like, you got a dick broom? No, somebody was just like, oh, like, guys got a nice dick broom on them, like saying, nice mustache. Meaning it's a gay looking mustache or just like, that's what it's used for.

It's used to broom the top of dicks when you're sucking on them. Right. Exceptional dick broom. Thanks. But you always had very bushy, full body hair, like those dicks clean, you know. Yeah. Now, that's an interesting question. Do you think it does?

It must tickle penises. If you're a gay man blowing another man, your dick broom would really be, I think, hurting. And that's always been, by the way, a more popular dick or a gay look is the mustache. Right. The mustache was like big in the seventies and eighties and it was like always like mustache. Do you think it's... They were like, our dicks are so dirty and we need to clean them for each other.

Could be. Could be. Now, we had a gay gentleman over last night for dinner and we were talking about how gay men super look gay. You know what I'm saying? Like when they work out, they work out. It looks different than a straight fit man. A gay fit man, like they go for like real, it's really sculptured, right?

Do you know what I'm saying? Like gay fit is a different level than straight guy fit. Yeah. It's extreme. Gay guys make themselves like the optimal male appearance. Yeah, like veins and everything. And then I asked him, I go, I asked him, I said, well, what do you guys find attractive? Like what's sexy?

It's not lingerie, you know? And he goes, jockstraps. We like jockstraps. And I thought, oh, that does make sense because I imagine he likes the sweaty nuts and, you know, like you smell it. Is that what it is? It's dirty and stinky. Sure.

And it also, like, there you go. That is. And that's like gay lingerie is a jockstrap. I'm still confused. You try to tell me gay guys like this. I don't see it. What part? What?

It's so gay. Well, I guess I could see a gay guy liking this. I mean, is this what you wore for football, Tom? They didn't look quite like that. They didn't look quite like that. And when you're in Little League, they put a little cup in there. Nice. Which is to protect your, your twigging berries.

Okay. I think we got it now. I think we got it. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, that one's got a hole in the front. Is that for pee? Yeah.

That's one way you can talk about it. I guess poke your dink, your dingleberry, your dongle. Is that a hole? Yeah. That's a hole in the front? Yeah. That's what it looks like to me, Tom. It's a dick hole in it.

I can't see from here. It looks like it's a red dot or something. No, it's a dick hole. It's to put your dick on it. There's never, they've never made them like that for mass consumption. Look, suspense. Hey, we got a, we got a hole at the front of the jockstrap. Suspensory jockstrap for scrotal slash testicle.

Would you please click on that native so I can get a better look? Yeah. Suspense, suspensory jockstrap for scrotal slash testicle support cotton mesh jockstrap. Andy Ezware. I mean, the whole, I'm not so sure. Revolutionary suspensory underwear multi-pack of two is perfect for supporting the testicles after scrotal surgery such as a vasectomy. We could have gotten this for you.

Or testicular replacement. Wow. Well, it's a little late. You don't want me to order one for you? I'm good. It do, it does look awfully gay. Maybe for my calendar though. I'm shooting that calendar next month.

You're shooting a calendar? Yeah. Just to keep the guys interested, you know, no. It is as if, now that I see a jockstrap, it is as though it's designed by gay men for gay men. And it is clearly men's lingerie. That's what this is. It is men's.

That's the equivalent. Who invented the jockstrap? It must have been a gay guy because he's like, no, because you needed to keep your dick and balls like together. But then how come the seductive straps just around the heiny? Why not just make it a full back, a full flavor, full flavor, like a cotton panty with a thing in the front? Why the strappiness to it?

I mean, the strappiness makes sense to me. It's seductive. I don't think it's seductive. It's seductive if you want to make it seductive. It's functional. You've got to keep everything supported and make sense to have straps. Oh, OK. That's more supportive than a full back cotton.

I think so. Yeah. I think so. OK. Well, good to know. Glad we got that out of the way. We were also discussing the first time you... That's so gay.

You watched pornography and the first time you saw a man sit on a woman's face. It wasn't the first time I saw pornography. I was watching porn way too young. You feel like you're doing this taboo thing. I remember that this guy had a ponytail and he was a distinctly not attractive dude. You're like, wow, this guy's doing this to this chick. She's blowing them and they're like, it's like pre-sex. He stands up and he squats over her face and I was like, he squats and he puts his

asshole onto her mouth and she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what I do. And then he started to like, Jane his own D as she's making her do that. And I was like, uh-uh. I was like, what? And I didn't understand. I was too young. I was like, he's making her lick his asshole. I know, even as you're describing that, I don't think I've seen that in porn numbers.

Yeah, I was like, I haven't even seen that. Oh, I've seen it a lot now. But... Wait, but which way was he facing? Was his back to her body? They were on a bed and she was on her knees and he stood up and just put his, sat down on her mouth. But was he facing?

Away from her. Okay. Like reverse cowgirl. No, what are you talking about? He stood up and just squatted and put his ass on her mouth. Right. So this is, this is his dick. Hold on.

Is that facing? How is this, how is what I'm saying not clear? Like that. Wait, hold on. Like that. Okay. See how that, was it like that or reverse cow? Like the other way around.

Where, do you know what I'm saying? No, no. I don't know what you're saying and I don't know how you don't know what I'm saying. Was he sitting like that? Okay, wait. Let me start again because it's so upsetting that it's not clear. Or was it like that? Or was it like that?

Nope. I made it so clear. I don't know how it's not clear. Just close that. I have a hard time visualizing. Close it. God. I'm like, you're so mad at me.

I know. It's like, it's so obvious what I'm saying. I'm trying not to because- Okay, just listen though. If you just listen. I'm listening. I'm draw, draw it out for me. But it's obvious I'm not good at visualizing so why can't you understand my limitations and draw, draw it in a diagram.

Draw it. I'm not drawing it. If you don't understand this, you need help. I'm admitting my limitations. Okay. Then just fucking listen. You know when people are like, when people are like, I remodeled my bathroom. I go, what did you do?

Well, I put the toilet over here and then on this side, I put this tile and I'm like, I can't see what you're saying. Okay. I don't, my brain doesn't go. I'm going to try again. Okay, go. I'm going to take it slowly. Do it slow.

All right. Go ahead. They're doing, they're oral fun. Okay. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter the positions. Just wait. Okay.

The woman is on her knees. On her knees. Yeah. Like, so her body is upright. Yes. She's on her knees. Yes. The man is standing on the bed.

Okay. Standing it. On the bed. Standing on the bed. She's on her knees on the bed. So as he's standing on the bed, he has his pee pee in her mouth. Got it. Right?

Yep. And he's doing a standard BJ. Got it. Got it so far? On there. I'm seeing it. You're seeing. Keep your eyes closed.

All right. Now, she's still slobbing on his knob. Gotcha. And she's kneeling on the bed. And he's standing. And he's standing on the bed. Gotcha. Gotcha.

So it's like, he doesn't have to, he's at the perfect height. And he's ugly. What does he look like? He's kind of got like, like brownish red hair and he's got a ponytail and bad kind of curly. Is he fat? No. But he's not like in shape. He's just kind of black.

He's just kind of like bland. Like, blah. Hmm. Just very. All right. And you're like, all right, I'm watching a blow job. That's exciting. He takes his peepee out of her mouth.

Okay. Turns around. He turns around. Okay. And just puts his asshole on her mouth. Oh my God. And, and like forces it on there. And then he kind of, he gets, he's, he kind of gets on his tippy toes so that he can sit

down on her mouth. That is revolt. And then he starts jaying his D and he reaches his hand back and holds her head there like you do that. You eat that. And he, and then he's like, all right, now I'm ready. And then he started having, and I was like, okay, now do you picture it? I fully see it.

Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for walking me through that. Do you want to do that with me? Of course. Stop. Can we show my Halloween costume, please? Is it in here or in there?

I don't know. Do you have it native? I'm so proud of this, you guys. I didn't share it last week, but I was really looking for inspiration. Who I was going to be for Halloween. There's so many people to choose from this year. There it is. And I chose my jeans.

Now, if that doesn't look like a dead ringer for my husband. It's pretty awesome. You got on a shirt of mine. You got fake chest hair thing you put on. Yeah. And one of my bomber jackets that I always wear, you got a fake beard. You even put on an FSU hat, and that day I happened to be wearing an FSU shirt. That was pretty good.

It was pretty good. And then you came in and you were like, hey, chicks are fucking dumb, which is your impression of me. Well, that is, you gotta do shit. You gotta shit on chicks. Anyways, I thought this was, the chest hair is really good, and that was a piece I purchased on Amazon. Yeah.

I'm proud of it. Yeah. It was good. It really made me laugh. You really made me laugh. Thanks. You came in and I was just laying there and you were like, what's up, everybody? Hey.

My favorite part is that that's your impression of me. It's pretty good. Chicks are dumb. Am I right? I'm a fucking stupid wife. You have to take a shit on your fucking stupid bitch's face. Okay. All right.

I think Biden will live one year. What do you think? Oh, you want to do your impression of me? What's your impression of me? That's a woman. Hey, guys, I'm a mom. That's pretty good, actually. Yeah.

But I don't go. You kind of do. Ask the audience. I don't know. I don't know. You go, you know. Ladies, I do not do that. I don't.

I do do my mouth does shape like that. I do side talk. You do a side talk thing. But I don't go. You go, hey, I give it a lick. Yeah. Have you been trying out your flick? Oh, yeah.

I did it all week. Yeah. Yeah. I got so many numbers. Show me you like me, Tom. Chick stick it. You know who else digs it? Yeah.

Guys who knows what, like a guy who knows what's up, like this guy right here. I just went to get some gas at the Chevron right here. Big change here. Big surprise coming. Big cash here behind the counter. She was this old broad. I don't know. Maybe she was 65 or 70, but she had a nice set of tits.

I could tell this broad when she was younger, she was probably very, very good looking, very hot, very attractive. I wish I could have asked her, hey, could I get a picture of you, you know, back in like the 40s when you were like 25 years old, when you were super hot. So first of all, I don't think that math is right. This is the ass review guy. It's always about asses. Yeah.

And I was thrown for a loop that also he's talking about his ladies great tits. I thought you're the ass guy. I know. I know. Because it does. Tom, what it does do is it thwarts his expertise in butts. You know, and now I don't believe that he's an expert in butts because he's moving to tits.

Oh, before I go on, I have to make this clear. We have been told, and I'm going to express it up until then, that if you plan on doing the next live show, which is going to be fucking crazy, it's November 20th. It's at ymhvirtual.com as the other shows have been, and it features Danny Brown, my sister, Omji Maria, and music by Marc Rivier, and of course, a crazy heavy segment. If you're going to do it, get tickets ahead of time. The only reason I'm saying this is because most, a lot of people wait until the last 24 hours.

And that's what happens when people are like, oh, why is it, you know, I'm being held up on the site? It's because so many people are going all at once. So, even if you get it the day before, two days before, you're doing yourself, you won't have to deal with any of the chaos. You can do it whenever you want. I recommend doing it. If you plan on being there, do it now.

We're also leaving it up through Thanksgiving weekend. Normally it's a one week thing because I figured a lot of people would be with their families. Once you get a ticket, if you can't watch live, you can watch all week from November 20th through November 29th, which is Sunday at midnight after Thanksgiving. So thank you. And of course, it is available worldwide. You don't have to join live. You can do it anytime after, but thank you and it's going to be, I think, our best show

yet. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. That's right, Mike. I'm very excited for, and you're right. Listen, give yourself time for the technology to work, meaning if you buy them early, then you can work out any possible glitches, right? It's smart.

We're telling them to buy it early. It's a smart idea. Yeah, there's no glitches. I'm just saying that. Right, just so that you avoid any kind of hassle. Yeah, you just don't have to deal with the day of the day out. The drama. You just have your ticket.

Just do it. Now, I totally was sleeping with her. And you know, there's always like an unwritten rule between a dude and his homeboys. Like, you know, most guys will fuck anything that moves. Like, we don't really care. Anything with a warm hole, we don't give a shit. We're putting our dick right in there. There's certain women that you just don't bring around your friends because they're

fuggly. You know what I mean? You're embarrassed that you even had sex with them. This dude is amazing. And you're like, oh my God, I can't believe I slept with this broad. And the things that I did with this broad. So you don't bring this broad around your friends, you know what I mean? This broad is hideous.

She's trash. She's garbage. She's filthy. She's disgusting. She's skanked. I didn't know he was here. This dude is the shit. I didn't know he does that.

He's the coolest of cool guys. Let me keep going here. This broad, she was good looking to a point where you would almost bring her to your friends. Not as like a trophy, but you know, like, hey guys, like she's not bad for, you know, 107. I mean, and I don't think any of my homeboys would even trip if I brought her to the Super Bowl game on Sunday Super Bowl party. Yeah, like the old, those, those teardrop boobs, those tits, she's pretty hot and I didn't

see her backside. Yeah. I didn't want to see that. I was kind of worried maybe she was wearing the pens or something. I don't want to start feeling bad for her because, you know, once I start feeling bad for people, did I stop being able to fantasize about them? This really is like all he's about. I know.

It's kind of cool that, you know, like we met him with the, the reviewing asses, right? He's like, I gotta tell you, he watched like a different aisle and he was like, you know, there's, you know, this is. So I just seen this girl's ass in the other aisle. But like then you, you're watching this and you're like, oh, this is all he does. Oh, it's for real. It's all day air day. He doesn't, he doesn't do anything else.

No, he's into it. He's really into sex. Yeah. He's so into it. She was good looking to a point where you would almost bring her to your friend. Yeah. I don't know who this guy is, but that, that chick over there, man, I'm telling you for, for 112, I tell you, I would, I would definitely take her out on a date to Bob Evans for sure.

Oh, wow. Some liver and onions. And I saw him. Wow. He's so sincere and he's so dedicated to the cause. And he's pretty articulate. Yeah. He really means it.

I mean, the interesting thing is that he makes these videos. You never see who he's talking about. So this is just a guy who's like, hey, I just saw someone. Here's what their tits and ass are all about. And you're like, okay. We know what I like to in parts of this clip. He says boobs and then he corrects himself and calls them tits. Oh, right.

So he almost doesn't want to give off an air of having any sort of human feelings. And then he even says, oh gosh, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to see the depends because I don't want to feel bad for her because then I can't objectify her. So even like she can't, he, he really is objectifying people to the max. Yeah. What a warm hole. Yeah. Yikes.

Yeah. But I mean, how many, we've known guys like this, right? They're, they're coolest guys. This brought us hideous. She's trash. She's garbage. She's filthy. She's disgusting.

Skank. Yeah, dude. Yeah. You just saw that and dropped that on you. It's pretty cool, man. It is cool. But this reminds me of guys you'd meet in your twenties, like usually grow out of this stuff.

Yes. This usually is when you're kind of realizing that you're sexually viable and, and like you kind of are mature enough, you're mature enough to be meaning like you're old enough to engage women and, you know, you have like a car and a job and you're like, you're, you're, you, like it's your main focus. And then you get to, you know, a little older and you kind of just doesn't become the only focus, but his is, your water bottles, like it's about to tip over. Oh, how did that happen?

Oh yeah. Yeah. He hasn't matured in the least. Yeah. Like he's, he's probably, I don't know, 40s or something and he's still acting like he's a 20 year old dude. I got something for you though. Oh, what you got?

This is very cool. What you got? You're going to take this. You're going to growl in my hood. Hair cut. Oh, cool. Step on two fucking thousand motherfucker. Yeah.

This way you save all your money. He's going to pay 20 fucking dollars. 20 bucks. Well, you can just do it yourself. Let's see how good that looks. Oh no, don't tilt the ball. Oh man. Oh boy, the ball.

Keep the line. Oh yeah. Perfect. What the fuck? That's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect.

That's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's perfect. That's fucking perfect. What the fuck?

That's perfect. That's really good. That looks good. Say no more. Say no more. 20 dollar haircut at the time. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. Say no more. And then. Mate. Now for all you haters out there. Haters. I've had a few. But today I had very, very extreme amounts of compliments.

Okay. All right. I'm calling this the Lancelot Haircut. Hell yeah. Okay. I'm going to, what do you call that thing when you do a fucking postmark thing? What do you do? You know, you put a stamp on it.

That's cool. I'm going to show you what you're doing Friday night. Okay. It's Friday night. I'm going out. Going out. Got a Lancelot haircut. What are you going to do, sir?

Got a fresh cut. All right. All you need. Don't need fancy hairspray. Don't need this. Don't need that. Okay. I'll just show you what.

Just look around my bathroom. See what. Oh, look. We got some fly spray. Oh, we got a beautiful brush. I love it so much. Okay. It's very simple.

Very simple. Very quick, very easy. This is amazing. Oh, I'm sorry. My hairdresser fucking broke the floor spray. That's bug spray. No, uh-huh. Yes.

Look at that. Beautiful. It kind of looks good though. Uh, yeah. He put some rate and then that is a toilet brush. He looks good though. It's a little brush. Damn, homie.

Actually, he looks great. I know. Oh, fuck it, motherfucker. Check that out. Okay. Then when you're finished, because you've got nice, you've got nice flyspray on it. Okay. No.

You could have put the bloody flies out of your dunny as well. Your dunny. Look at that. Perfect. Beautiful. Like I said, fuck the hairdressers. Come to Tomo. That's it.

He's right. Dude, this guy's my hero. Can I tell you something? That's pretty awesome. I would marry him. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oh, I would marry him in a minute over the tits on Askeye. Cool.

I'm, I'm, I love him. And I would like to see you guys together. If I had to choose between the Askeye and him. You do. Go ahead. Him all day. Yeah. Your day.

No, he would be more fun, but you know what? I think there's some signs that. What? That he's frugal. He knows how to cut his own hair. Mm-hmm. He's got an adorable accent. He's got a nice house.

Yeah. I'm in. I'm all in. Yeah. I'd have to get his teeth fixed, but. The teeth is a thing. I think he would push back on it. I think he would push back.

I like him and I like his hair. It looks good. We got a dad boner. Love those. In a, in a lane that I've never. How much to get Nadav to cut his hair like that? To do that haircut on Nadav on the live show? You do the bowl.

Sure. And we can use bug spray and a toilet brush? Uh, if it's a clean brush, no on the bug spray. No on the bug spray. All right. Fair enough. Compromise. Compromise.

Okay. It'll grow back. You guys saw how quickly my last cut grew back. That's right. You're scullet. Mm-hmm. You guys can pretty much do whatever you want to my head. That's pretty cool.

Thanks, man. You're welcome. Check this out. Right. So that's coming to Brian Roper's man cave and look at his chairs. Well, we've got a pro gardener. We've got my white chocolate, strawberry, pewter blue and hunter green.

We've got our fan back chairs. We've got our Rubbermaid chair. We've got the great card chair. Oh my God. We spend most of our time in that chair. So we have a lot of cool chairs. Lacks in. I like the Mabu.

And over here we have our arched low back, arched high back youth leader chair. So I just kid size youth leader chair. We've got the slotted low back and slotted high back. This is absurd. Here we have a Rubbermaid chair. This is absurd. Kid size model.

We've got your Rubbermaid marvelous chair here. Other Rubbermaid chair. Come over here. You've got your Capazza. Duh. Low back and high back. Mm-hmm. We've got the kid size chair.

We've got the LH. I'll tell you, most of this is just like 30 years old. Yeah, it's pretty cool. You've got to keep it, though. We've got our LH chair. We've got our roof looks. We've got our roof looks on. Over here we've got a Sarko kid size chair.

Oh, I like that blue one. We've got deluxe fan back, tropical deluxe chair. Deluxe chair. Tell you what, that's all your essential. Chairs. That's all you ever want. Yeah, I mean, that's really cool, man. And the interesting thing is that now it opens up your game to another guy.

There's three guys now today. You've got the bowl cut bug spray guy. You've got that old lady has nice tits, and then you've got the chair collector. Well, I will say, I like the chair collector's attention to detail. Yeah. And his stick-at-tootiveness. And probably the least. Stick-at-tootiveness.

Threatening. We don't know. We haven't seen his appearance. We don't know, but I'm telling you. I feel like you could definitely get yourself out of a sticky situation here by being like, hey, you want to go buy some chairs? Yeah. I do think it's odd that, as much as he prizes his chair collection, that he just keeps them

in his bedroom. Well, he doesn't want them to get out. I mean, our kids do the same thing. They want to take us to my room. All right, man. That's true. I need to see what this guy looks like. I'm still with the Australian guy with the haircut.

And I just like how he talks. I love his accent. Yeah. And I like his stick-at-tootiveness. I like how he's like, oh, I fuck that address. I might do a TV accent. You're the master. Yeah.

All right. And then you put it in a donut. Oi. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah. Address is that?

Yeah. I like that Australian, you know, DIY kind of like, they're so a-bogin'. Is he a bogan? Yeah. Yeah. I like their whole attitude is like, they keep it real. Yeah. I really dig that.

They're not posh at all. Check out this chick. I think it's a chick giving my mom a run for her money. Ready? Mm-hmm. That's wild. That is so cool. Listen, I don't-

Someone just sent that in? Mm-hmm. I don't believe the audio. Really? I think we need a recount. This is, I'm suing because- Yeah. Yeah.

This is not official fart audio. I don't believe this audio. Yana, if you look, if you look at the lady's face while it's happening. It lines up. It lines up with what she's, with what we're here. And is it, is the source material, is it a link, is it an actual embedded video? Well, how did it arrive? It was a link.

It was a link? Mm-hmm. And it, where is this posted? YouTube, LiveLeak, where is it posted? YouTube. Wow. Yeah. And that is a, that is a woman, right?

It looks like a woman's foot and leg. That's a little hard for me to decipher. I thought, I thought it was a male fart. No, the fart sounds male. Yeah. But the, these look female to me. Yes. And also, I think what's happening is there's a baby there.

I think this is a new mother, and I think that's her mother. Oh, interesting. I thought they were, I thought they were lesbians. Oh, wow. That could be. Partners. That's the, this is a young mother that we're looking, like, whose legs we're looking at. And that's her mother looking at her.

Because that's the way your mom would look at you if you're doing that, you know? You're keeping an eye on the baby. The disdain, the disgust. Started at the beginning here. Tell me if you think that's a woman's foot or a man's foot. Because I think, I think it looks female. Yeah, it's a woman. That's such a good reaction.

Yeah. And that's why she didn't jump. Like, if it's her daughter, that's what I'm thinking. You know, if it's like your daughter, you know. She didn't jump initially, which is odd. Like, she ignored it. She ignored it. She ignored it.

I think that falls in line with mom, though. I think friend, spouse, somebody like that jumps. I think your parent just goes like... That's true because she's so used to it. The parent is so used to it. Now with you, every time you rip ass, I look immediately and I give you disgust immediately. You're right. That's a quicker response.

Yeah, I would jump out too if it was yours, you know? But like, yeah, with one of the kids, I'd just be like... Now, I will say that this is a dangerous position to fart in. You are really taunting the gods here because I wouldn't do that. Also, I mean, I'm convinced this is a woman farting and those are real guy fart vibes. Well, Tom, as we've learned on YMH, sometimes the ladies are the ones with the biggest fart vibes. That's definitely what we've learned. As is evidenced when we did have the fart mic up, there was a Twitter account that kept

a tally and I was winning the fart mic. Yeah. Tally, which leads me to believe that's why it disappeared one day because I was in the lead. Yeah. Hello? Yeah, I remember. I remember.

Why? You don't need it. He's getting to know him. The dog trusts you this way. Puppy. Puppy SNF girls. That's so gnarly. YouTube.

Thanks for watching my video. He's clearly single. I mean, I wouldn't kiss his mouth after that. Because you remember the wolf lady. Yeah, of course. I can't forget. Wolf lady. Look at my mouth.

Look at her today. Hello and welcome to Animal Watch. And today I'm getting up. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Little duck. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on honey. Come on . Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Home. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Take a quite deep hey.

Here we go. This tape it like relatively easy, but man, if they are chomping down on something, it's over. You're fucked. Yeah, you can't. You cannot pry it open. No, those teeth are serious.

And that jaw, that grip. And you know they'll just break them out too, and they'll grow them back. Yeah. They don't give a shit. They don't give a fuck about shit. You know, they don't give a fuck about shit. Also, dude, animals kill people. Remember Steve Irwin, he got killed by, what, a fucking dumb stingray?

Like they kill you. Yeah. The dumb stingray. Why are you messing with animals, bro? It's tabbed them. Fuck with anybody. It's tabbed them. Fuck.

I'm afraid of bitsie sometimes. I wouldn't even mess with her. Yeah. Those teeth. Those little bits teeth? Yeah, man. Yeah. The animals will fuck you up, bro.

This chick's so silly. What is wrong with her? I don't know, man. I think it's so stupid to do this stuff. I hate it. You know. I hate it. I hate when people mess with animals.

It's just, why do you have to mess with them? They're scary. They're bigger than you. They're stronger than you. Oh, you saw this. I know. I just saw it. Stop it.

Leave him alone. Leave him alone. Oh, yeah. This is another thing for those of you that don't know. So you don't know that my sister, who is returning for the live show, used to be a staple of this show, like years ago. And then she got a certain job, she was like, I cannot come on your show. Well, as the show grew in popularity, too, we didn't, you know, we had to shed a normal

life, you know. All kinds of shit. But when were your real pig days? Was that in college or after college? Of sex, definitely after. Oh, so like New York? I had boyfriends. Yeah.

Oh my God, yeah. New York is an easy city to be like a real sales agent. Yeah. I mean, it's a total blur of who and how many. It's a blur? I mean. God. Yeah.

I mean, we're kind of dated, but in between you go out and you go home with somebody and or you just leave. I mean, so she's basically saying she doesn't know how many people she's been with. Yeah. Yeah. What was your age range when you started hand jobs? Hand jobs? Middle school.

I was like 11, 12. What? I didn't know what I was doing. Really? You guys were doing that in middle school? Yeah. I mean, we didn't know. If we put our hands out of pants and like play with a penis, I mean, I had no idea how

to properly give a hand job. I obviously learned that later on in life. Obviously. It sounds so advanced. But you're down and dating people. So. I get shitty hand jobs in like sixth grade, but. So, sixth grade now, was it because you were with in school with a bunch of like promiscuous?

Yeah. Yeah. Basically, everyone in my school was like a complete nutter spot. What? Did she go to private school? No, that wasn't. No. I think I saw porn once when a guy had like a long metal tube being shoved into his head.

Oh my God. Oh my God. The tip of his penis. I just don't get it. The pain thing. No. That thing I definitely don't get. Yeah.

That's horrific. Yeah. Also, it's eating stool and like shitting on each other. Yeah. Nobody. There's something seriously wrong with these people. Yes. I totally agree.

And I want to know what goes through their head that they think like, this is normal. I'm definitely going to find a great woman that wants to do this with me. She's quality material. She used to like just get a skill. She used to get so fired up. Do you think there's one coming at you? You'd see there's semen or something, something else. Semen would be from three days ago.

Usually when we have sex, it still leaks out of me for like a few days after because apparently I have a very mucous-y cervix. Is that unusual? I don't really know. Apparently with his strong swimmers and my super mucous-y cervix, it just hangs out in there. Like five days later, it's just leaking out. Whoa.

I don't wear thongs usually. I have to wear something there for like the week after where I can't have a massage because it's happened once before where I was having a massage and it was like a snail trail after I got it from the... Oh my God. So disgusting. I know. It's so gross.

And then she became... Shameless. It was the most crazy and all the old school listeners remember that she had insane coffee orders. Yes, the best. Yeah. Literally the stuff that you see like mocked. Well, let's be...

It's so over the top. Hold on. Now hold on, Yana. Let's be fair. The Segureff family has a thing with getting their coffee right. No. If you will forget, Top Dog, McDonald's has the best coffee. Yeah, everyone has a coffee thing, but her order is definitely not.

He would go through the drive-thru. It's not like anyone else's. And it had to be hot and then somebody needs venti, iced coffee, extra ice. No, we have a preference, but I'm saying the level of her preference. She's... It's not comparable. She's the winner. Me saying I would like extra ice and a splash of milk is not at all like this.

This is what my sister ordered. She has three beverages that she can order based on season from Starbucks. Morning, the morning, before noon, it is a single bag venti with three... Wait tea with three inches of steamed soy and some three raw sugars, and then you've add maybe three sprints of vanilla powder, one bag. That's a crazy drink. That's a crazy drink. Nobody...

I don't even understand that drink. No, of course not. Afternoon, summer, then I do venti, decaf, soy, sugar-free, caramel, sappuccino, light, both extra drizzle and easy wet. Oh, my... Must be the drizzle not here. Wait. Did you...

I got it. I got it. And then fall afternoon. And if it's afternoon and fall or winter, then I do a single bag coffee and a venti cup with three raw sugars, three inches of steamed soy and foam, and then topped off with three sprints of vanilla powder. That's a ton of sweetener, by the way. Dude, I've had a sip of her.

Three sprints. Because I've been with her before. I'm like, well, you really like coffee, man. She's like, I love it. I love coffee. And then I've been like, I thought I like coffee, and then she doesn't drink coffee. No, this is nonsense. Your voice dropped since these recordings.

Your voice got deeper, didn't it? Some of it, though, is the quality of the recording. Yeah, I like that sound. We got better equipment. It's very nostalgic for me, those early mics, the EV mics. Yeah. I like the way that... It wasn't an EV before.

No, I know. I like this audio quality. It's bringing me back. Really? Yeah. It's very nostalgic for me. Yeah, so that maniac is coming back on the show for the first time in years. And it's been a while.

She's had two children. She's had a whole new life, essentially. She was booked to do one of the earlier live shows, and then she was like, I got a lot of love for work. She was like, I got a lot of love. And then all of a sudden, like a month later, she was like, guess what? I could do the live show now. So I was like, you're on, dude.

So I guess work isn't a concern. I don't know. For some reason, she was just like, I could do it. But I was going to talk about coxsus, but I'm not. You know, what I love about OMG Maria is that she's always fired up. There's always something in her world that is... Yeah. You know, she never calls without a story.

There's always something going on. That intro, the Maria intro. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Seriously.

Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Oh my God. Take your fucking scissors. Oh my God. These are Pudgy fucking monkey hands. Seriously.

Press the box to open. Cut a hole in it. And pour the goddamn bottle. Oh my God. Seriously. No. That was from her being upset with the Starbucks employee because they couldn't figure out how to put the syrup in.

Yeah. They couldn't open the thing that they needed to open. Get your Pudgy fucking figures. You know, she's very active, too. Maria does... By the time we wake up around 8 or 9 a.m., she's like, okay, I'll wake up at 6 a.m. I run. I run 15 miles.

And then I swam. And I was like, I did like 10 miles there. I thought we played tennis for like two hours. Yeah. She does. Like what? She does it all. I mean, vacations with her.

She's like laying out activities where you're like, what about the rest part? You're gonna rest on this thing? And she's like, we went on a hike and then I ran and then I lifted and then I had breakfast and then I played tennis. And then I swam. And then they have kayaks. I thought it was the kayaks. Then we got back and I'm going on their hike and you're like, this is vacation?

All right. Like that's her way of chilling out. I know. She when she was about to give birth to her second kid, she called me and she goes, oh my God. Oh, that's not a doctor. A doctor says, I have to stop weightlifting because I've prolapsed my uros, which means that she was about to give, she was like weeks away from delivery and she was lifting

weights so much that her uterus was coming out of her vagina. It was so heavy and so strained, they're like, you need to stop. She still did like the. She's like, I can still run though. I can still run. She did like eight miles the day she gave birth. And I was like, okay. So anyway, I thought you'd like this Reese's chocolate peanut butter cup.

That's my favorite. You know, when you get a fresh one right away, it's got that wonderful chocolate scent when you open it up and it's shiny and not discolored on the top. You pull off that bottom wrapper and nothing sticks to it. And when you take a bite, oh man, that peanut butter is so smooth and moist and sugary and sweet, but you also know how disappointing it is when you get a stale one. You take a bite and it tastes kind of like cardboard. Uh, Hershey's, the company that makes the Reese's peanut butter cup used to have a system

where the expiration date was embedded in code on the back of the package. It was not very consumer friendly. They have a much better system now with a best buy date clearly on the back of the package. That's as good as far as it goes though, but it doesn't really tell you how fresh the Reese's peanut butter cups are. It just tells you when the last possible moment is that they're still good. Huge distinction. This is a big deal for this guy.

This guy is really into Reese's. We contacted Hershey's to ask exactly what the time period was from when their manufacturer gets to the best buy date. They would not disclose that information. Oh, that very tight lipped about it. Cancel. So it was up to us to figure it out. So we went from store to store candy aisle to candy aisle on a search to find the freshest

peanut butter cups available. Of course, lots of taste testing was required. We focused primarily on the miniatures, the two cup package, the four cup package and the big cup Reese's. We found that in most cases, the freshest we could find had a best buy date of 10 to 11 months into the future. That made us suspect that the timeframe from the manufacturer date to the best buy date was one year.

It took more hunting, but we did finally strike gold when we found a 12 pack with the best buy date exactly one year away from the current date. This was at a Walmart and it was on sale just $1.50 for 12 cups. And the cups on that one with the best buy date a year away were the freshest we found. Oh, wow. Thank goodness. Man, you've really done some research for people. I was on Tenderhooks.

You know, Bertrand Russell once said, the famous philosopher, the time we enjoy wasting is not wasted time. So when I feel judgmental and you're like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, you're like, you know what though, this guy's really into his Reese's cups and I respect that. I'm really into Reese's cups. Yeah. Like I would, I would argue this is the top of my Halloween candy list.

This is it. Yeah. This is dope. I love these fucking things. But is it Reese's or Reese's? I've been saying Reese's, not Reese's Reese's Tom. It's Reese's. Bullshit.

Reese's. Yeah. No. She had a nice set of tits. It's Reese's. No. Chris Larsen. Go ahead.

I usually say Reese's. Yeah, that's normal. Reese's. That's not Reese's. It was made by Reese and it's Reese's peanut butter cups. Reese's Peasies. Good point. Not Reese's Peasies.

Peasies, huh? Reese's Peasies. Only a fucking Megan would call it Reese's. It's Reese's Peasies. Megan. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's Peasies.

Reese's Peasies. Reese's. But you could say Reese's cups. I say Reese's cups. No, you can't. No, you can't. Yeah. That's not what people call them.

Them's Reese's cups. No. Shittier to say it that way. Reese's cups? Yeah, Reese's Peasies. No, they say Reese's peanut butter cups. You say Reese's cups. You do not.

Yeah, you do. Reese's cups. Reese's. Reese's cups and Reese's Peasies. It's a Reese's cup. Everyone calls it a Reese's cup. I've never heard anyone call it a Reese's cup. Well, that's because you're too L.A. about it.

The rest of America calls this a Reese's cup. Yeah, man. 71 million votes, fuckhead. Fuckface. I'll read the bag. Read the fucking bag, stupid Nadov. Take it easy, fuckhead. It is a Reese's cup.

All right, let's take a quick break and we'll be back with a guest in a moment. And we're back with a dear friend, a great comedian. You can see on the road multiple dates coming up. And of course, you should be watching his new podcast, Roach Motel. Tuesdays at 6 a.m. it drops right here on the Your Moms House YouTube channel. You can rate, review and subscribe to it on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts. Please welcome Josh Potter. Hey, hey, hey.

American, you fuck. That's right, baby. And I'm proud to be an American stood by your side and free and we go take over our country. Then we go back home down to Guatemala, fuck up their government. Yeah. So we were talking right before we started rolling how I've converted to pot. I love it. I've been trying to get everyone on board.

I'm two milligram, Tina. Yeah, I pushed two and a half. And she's like two milligrams. She's like, yo, I felt that shit. Are you kidding? Yeah, she's like, it knocked me out. I am like the makes me feel like Diaz at home. I'm like, you got only angle to what are you a fucking kid?

Slipper at 10. And she's like, oh, I'm out of her space in the hospital. Two and a half. Sorry. I sleep like an angel. What? It is. Listen, I'm a dilettante.

I'm a newbie. I'm not good at it. That is just enough to chill me out. And I have the raddest dreams. I like sort stuff out. I talked to my dead mom and my dreams. I'm having sex with ex-boyfriends. Dude, this reminds me of when I was like 22 and smoking weed or whatever.

Like I would rip one bowl like a hit and then I'd be like, I'm good for like a week. And then, you know, it grows eventually. You're tolerant. I was 22 and I was hallucinating. What? Yeah. Where? With me?

No. On the road. Yeah. And I was just up for hours. Like just spinning out. When we were together? No. Because you had received some sort of gifts of edibles when we were together.

And you took one. I took all of them. I took all of them. How did that treat you? I did 150. Like that night, we played video games and stuff. What? 150 milligrams?

Yeah, I felt great. You were. Whoa. Fine. I don't know. I mean, that's what. Fine. Dude, I'll do two.

My problem with it right now is that they put the gummies in like 10 milligrams each or whatever. Yeah. So to eat like 200, I have to eat like 20 gummies. Yeah. Just get a stronger dosage. Well, you can't because like the legal, like there are places where it's like, we're a church.

We're not a dispensary. And then there you can go get a gummy that's strictly 200 milligrams, but they've regulated it now. But I've been. So low. I've been in the. Legit dispensaries. Yeah.

That have strong stuff. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Because they've told me they're like, oh, we have to get them and they have to increment them. And I hate that shit. So that they're like 10 per.

I hate candy. So it's like to ingest. Yeah. I remember that. You don't like sweets at all. Oh my God. So I get like sick to my stomach. If I want to get 200 milligrams in me, I have to like eat 20 fucking gummies.

What about the Death Star homie? That's what. Well, that's what I love. I love. You can't get that shit. But let me ask you this. 200. What are you like on 200?

The same. I don't know. I mean, I feel like outer space, but I can function. But you're high as fuck though. Yeah, of course. That's a goal. But no, but you're making it sound like that does anything do that to you. So is it is too high?

I have to go. I have to go like in the hundreds to make that happen. So a hundred though. You're a high as fuck also. I'll be like normal high. I probably I'll still rip. I mean, like, I think when we were in Vegas, the night we were in Vegas, you gave me. What, 50 milligrams and then we also smoked like a blunt and then we were drinking and

you were like, you don't feel that at all. I'm like, not really. We were doing all their stuff too. I don't know. It's like, Jesus, man, I'm dead inside my body. I don't know how that happens. I don't have any feelings at all. Like I mean, I do like I have a lot of feelings, but it's not like I like need it to take me

someplace like, you know what I'm saying? Like get me out of my own head. I want to be so far out of my own head. I'm on Mars. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you're normal. I wish, I mean, I wish for you that it could happen at a lower dose.

Oh my God. Me too. But after time, when you try to see the devil as many times, like I remember when I used to do shows with Joey Diaz, like back in the day, I don't know, 2013 or something like 20, he'd have those stars, man, they were fun. Those were the shit. And I think that's why he like kept me like working a couple times down the road because I was like not a little bitch on those stars and jumping in on him.

Yeah. I mean, I was in the corner of one once, corner. And I had to pull over and get a ride home. There have been times I've gone too deep in edibles where I'm like sweating profusely and I have to like lay down those profusiously, profusiously. Yes. And then I have to lay down and like let the air conditioning bring me back to life for a second.

Yeah. I like that. That's going too deep for you. I mean, that's happening at what, like four or 500 milligrams? I mean, honest to God, it depends on also like what you've eaten and stuff like that. Like if you have an empty stomach and you do 200 milligrams, like I used to have this, I used to have this like underground sort of dispensary near my house that I would walk home from open mikes to like an on the way home, I would pass it.

And I would always buy a 200 milligram gummy for the walk home just so I could float home and it would, I would become a race like if I can get home before the gummy kills me kind of thing. And sometimes I wouldn't make it. Like I'd be almost home, it'd be a really hot day and by the end of it, I'm crawling up to my porch. You know what I'm saying? Like I would be fucked up, but it was worth the fun, you know?

So you would. So you do go too deep though sometimes. Oh yeah. That's the goal. Yeah. Well, I know, but I felt like it was impossible maybe with you. No. I mean, it becomes as you try to get that way more and more, it becomes more, you can't

do 200 milligrams a day and then like try and function, you know what I'm saying? So yeah, the more and more you go, I mean, like when we were hanging out, I mean, like I was able to play video games and shit like that, like in the arcade or whatever. So yeah, you know, I could do those things and not like, I'm not like, oh man, I got to like, I don't know. I got to like, I don't know what would happen to you if you took 150 milligrams. I freaked the fuck out pretty hard. Yeah.

I don't get freaked out by drugs because I would be like, it's the drugs. I would just be like beside myself, you know, I even out, do you do mushrooms and shit? Have you? No. Fuck. Out of your mind though, like acid and mushrooms and stuff, I mean, sort of, but also you could be like, you've done enough LSD, like where you're really, I've never done acid. That's the one thing.

I've done so many shrooms and I've always been of the persuasion and this is just the theory I have because I've, through talking to some people is if you've done acid first, you don't like mushrooms. And if you've done mushrooms first, you don't like acid. So it's always made me a little. When I did the last Diaz dosing, you know, I was hallucinating. What would you, what were you hallucinating? What do you mean?

Like what were the hallucinations? I mean, I was like floating above myself and like, really? God, I would kill my mother to feel that. You can. You can take acid. You can. You do that on LSD. You take a little tab.

Okay. Or why don't you just take, get a thousand milligrams and just eat that? No, I'll do acid. It's so many gummies. No, no, no. Just get like, we can track down. Okay. I mean, I will.

I don't think I would feel what you feel though. I would just like go to sleep. I would like pass out. I don't know, man. I don't know. I took salvia. Everyone was talking about salvia. Salvia is so scary.

You feel like the walls are melting. You'll see bunny rabbits. But that should last for like 10 seconds. Yeah. But like you're supposed, supposedly I was reading things. People are like, you live a whole lifetime in seven minutes. Like, and I was like, I want to know what that feels like. That sounds scary.

And I want to know what that's like. And I did it. And I really, all it was was like smoking weed for me. Yeah. I think you should try LSD because that should last for like, if you take a lot of it, you're high for almost a whole day, no, a whole day, and there's speed in it so you can't just fall asleep. You know, I know somebody that it broke, right?

Well, that's the thing that scares me about it. Yes. Wow. I know that it broke a guy who I know, and who was a smart, like high-academic. Does he get the flashbacks and all that? He just complete personality shift, had to drop out of school and like, just is not. It's like that. It's like when you hear about somebody saying that, you know, like a vaccine affected them

or something and they're like, something shifted. This guy had a notable break and a shift and he was on a flight and went into the cockpit. This is before 9-11. Oh my God. Geez. Well, Drew always says that. On a commercial flight. He was like, what's up guys?

And they're like, what are you doing? Do you remember that when you were a little kid, they'd let you do that? Yeah. You could say hi to the plane. Yeah. Yeah. They used to be open. Yeah.

You just go up there and take a look and be like, hi. Well, he told them to fly towards the sun. Oh boy. And they were like, do you go back to your seat? And he's like, go there. Dude, if that was after 9-11, Marshall would have like put a bullet in the back of his head or something. Oh yeah.

There was just been a dead body in the fucking galley. Sorry, folks. We're going to be diverting to Richmond. So most importantly, have you ever sat on a woman's face and demanded that she eat your butt? We were just talking about the first time I saw that in a porn. It is a gold mine. I would like to do that.

I don't want to. I don't know if I'd demand it. So this is a scenario. Yeah. I'm too young. I'm probably fifth grade and I've been watching porn for a minute, which is, you know, it's too young for your developing mind, but I'm like, this is so awesome, right? Jerking off, watching this stuff and I'm seeing blowjobs and sex.

This guy's standing on a bed, woman's on her knees and she's blowing them and I'm like, all right. And I remember that the guy was like a real dirtbag and he just, he's getting blown and then he just turns around and just squats on her mouth and starts Jane himself and holds her head back there. And I was like, he's putting his asshole in her mouth? Like I couldn't register it, what I was seeing. And that was the first time.

And I was like, that's maybe why I'm so fixated on it, I think. I would really, I don't really like demanding things like that. I would prefer they are like, they're like sit on my face. You know what I'm saying? Like they tell you to do it. And you've had nice ladies do it before. I have a couple. I cannot believe it.

I am blessed with all. Wait, wait, you've had a nice ladies who let you sit on their faces? Well, no, no, no, I mean, I'm not necessarily sitting on them, but they have still gotten their mouth to the destination. If you know what I'm saying? He didn't even have to request it. Neither times. Did they put you in the baby?

I, the first lady did put me like she was changing my dye dye up in the air, legs. And then she was like, why don't you flip over and I was like, all right, then she really got in there. Wow. No warning. No warning. No warning. No warning.

No warning. No warning. No warning. No warning. No warning. No warning. No warning. No warning.

And you thought she's just talking tales out of school or whatever, you know, talking shit. But I did do a little extra cleanliness back there. Oh, you did. Just in case. So you sense that it was coming? Well, no, I've never had a woman throw that out before. I would never throw it out there personally. And I thought like, let's give it, maybe shoot.

Wait, have you had a threesome? No, and it's my fucking white whale. I'm dying over here. Are you guys out there? Do you want to make Josh come? Dude, I've it's gotten bad because I started to at one. I started fan it like in recent sex experiences. I've started fantasizing that another woman was there.

Oh, wow. Isn't that tears? And it like ruins it like just so I could get myself. Can I tell you a theory? I had about you not being able to come. What's that? You know that Alex Trebek just died. I have a theory that when you were a child, you were masturbating and the Jeopardy theme

song came on. And that's why you can't come. Yeah. It was like, and then that is a 10 song. You make Josh come down and I wouldn't be done. And I'd be like, oh, it's like you lose. Bop, bop. Rest in peace.

Alex Trebek. All right. All right. Yeah. No, he was great. He was great. And I don't mean to associate him with such a horrific subject, but. Are you good at Jeopardy?

No. We should. It would be an honor if we did like a YMH Jeopardy. Yes. That's a really great idea. Like fan trivia. Cool guys category. It was 10 to 12 Benadryl guy.

Yeah. It's like this gentleman, a 10 to 12 Benadryl and. No, the question is, yeah, how many of these what is what is a Benadryl? Right? So you have to be like. What is 10 to 12 Benadryl? Yeah. I don't know man.

I'm too stupid to even formulate the question. You can't even write the question. I'm something fucking dumb. I swear. How many times do you watch that show? Could you maybe answer one or two of those questions top? There was a couple of categories. I would.

I mean. You'd have to luck out on cat for natural. I mean, we're talking like they would have like a 16th century French furniture. Yeah. That's the subject. You're fucking that guy. God. Who knows?

Achez? That's all I know. There was an open mic I used to go to where you'd have to get there early to sign up and I would get there, you know, early to sign up and I'd watch Jeopardy every time because it would be on the TV at the bar. So I would like see how many I can get, you know, in my brain. And I would be all right. Not I wouldn't win, but I would be like, I wonder how much money I could win on Jeopardy.

I have to say this, even though you're the roach, you actually are pretty like well-informed guy. Like, you know a lot of things. Like we'll be talking about. I don't like to put that out there. Because there's going to be something I'm not well-informed about and they'll love to tell me about it. Well, but that's saying that like, yeah, you're not informed on everything.

What I'm saying is, I've talked, I've had, you know, countless dinners with you and, you know, we toured together, so we're just bringing up everything and they'll be just like, you know, random books that you've read, subject matters, topics that you're pretty well-informed on. Yeah. It's amazing what you can do and you don't have a life. Yeah. There you go.

That's what I was getting to. No, I... I was going to say, you fucking loser. I like to over promise or under promise and over deliver. There you go. Information. Maybe you, maybe, maybe on a dose or maybe not doing what the guy does in this video, which makes me really happy.

And you're just irritated at this song. I get that. It's like Animal House. There you go. That was a form tackle. That was a good tackle. I would dream about doing that in a bar. I would be telling, like, if we were at a bar together, I'd be like, I want to go up

there and fucking bash this guy's guitar over. So what song, what song would make you do that? Like, for me, it's Brown Eyed Girl. I'd be like, fuck, I want somebody. Why don't you like songs about a girl's asshole? Or Red Red Wine, which we know historically is... I love Red Red Wine. The worst song.

It is not the worst song. But you know what I really hate is like the fake reggae, Red Red Wine, it makes me feel so fine. I don't even know that song. You know it. I know it from the hook. I know it from the hook, but I don't know. I've never listened to reggae.

It's not reggae. It's fake. Or whatever. It's fake. It's reggae. It's reggae. It is not. It's rude.

So fake. I'm trying to think of a good of a song that just, I mean, that one's pretty bad. The one that the guy got annoyed about, Sweet Caroline. Like if you're a cover band, like come on. Yeah, you two. That's so gay. What song? Journeys Don't Stop Believing makes me.

That would make you see it. Yeah. That's that one. Actually. I love some Journey songs, but that one is like, come on. You had to put that on. And then every girl in the bar is like, Don't Stop Believing. And then, you know.

You know what song makes me crazy? That girls go crazy for? I Will Survive. You're dating yourself a little bit there. I don't know that they still do. But yeah. That is a wedding jam, though. Yeah.

And I was in college or something, and now come on girls are just going, That's my song. Oh my God. You're right. Because I've been to weddings where they're like, And then they all do the thing in the circle and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

There's some bad ones. So annoying. Wedding songs. Pretty much wedding songs from like 1990 to 2005. Like if you went to a wedding in that period, you heard all the dog shit. Cha cha slide the fuck. Including who let the dogs out. Electric slide.

Guys right at the party start. Who let the dog, and then dads, like dads are like, I know, this is a rap song. Was it that way with like whoop there it is? I was too young for whoop there it is, but I remember it was like everywhere. I was like shaka la ka sha. It's like. There's like congressmen that are like, I like whoop there it is. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It was like Bill Clinton. You know when something. What was the Korean one? Gangnam Style. Well, yeah, that was like made to be a joke and then everyone was like, it was. But then it's like when your grandmother gets like she's like, oh, Gangnam style.

And you're like, Oh, this is really. But that's the thing about now I feel like dumb songs are made to be completely dumb and they become popular. Ironically. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like do you remember when music did you remember when music used to be scary? Like now I feel like the world is so scary.

I don't think music is. That's true. If you heard like Marilyn Manson, you'd be no one's going to be like, Oh my God, that's the problem. That's why all that music has gone by the way. Everything was music. You were just like told like, you know, the devil lives in this. Yeah.

They were telling you Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Cooper and Man Manson and everything was just like the Satan is here in these lyrics. But if you listen to them now and like if you if they create new music that way, nothing would like make these children go like, Oh my God, that's scary. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Billie Eilish can be scary sometimes. If you've seen that last album, I mean goodness.

What's scary though? What does she say? She just look at her imagery. I fucked your dad. No. That's it. I might say you won the crown. That video is really scary.

One by one by one. But like even rap music. Oh my God. Like even rap. I was going to tackle you right now. What's your song that you would kill a band? What song just makes you see red when you hear it? YMCA?

I remember watching Karaoke with you one time. It wasn't Karaoke, it was like live band Karaoke, like a ball attached to a comedy club. Yeah. And we were watching it and I felt like every song made you feel that. Yeah, I hate. I hate. Oh, I hate we built this city.

That's a bad one. Yeah, by Starship Enterprise River. Just Starship Starship Starship. Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Stars Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starshake Starship Starship Starship

Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Stars Starship Starship Starships Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Stars Marshall Starship Starship Starship Stars rural Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Starship Stella

Starship Starship Stars hizo butterfly There's a guy who I know is a black guy and you can't see him, but I know he's a black guy. This is turbulence on a flight. Okay, tell me if you can hear the black guy. There he is. Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's terrifying. No one's telling these people what's up. Listen. What is going on? Put this thing on the fly. First the idea that you could be like, like, he's casually like, what's going on? And then when it gets real crazy, he goes, what is going on? Like, they're going to be like, I'm going to tell you.

He's like, put this on the ground right now. If you were sitting near him, would you be more scared of the turbulence? I would be laughing so hard. Yeah, it's like being at a movie theater. Turbulence doesn't freak me out at all. I'm usually too drugged up to be affected by turbulence. I had a flight to Phoenix one time where a bird collided into the windshield of the plane and broke the windshield. I didn't know this until we landed, but it hit the plane and we dropped to the point where the drink cart hit the ceiling.

And I was like this in the seat, like, and there was a woman of the same persuasion next to me. And she goes, oh, come on. Like she freaked out and I was like, it's going to be OK. Like, that's all I did. And then I'm sitting there and I go, we almost could have died there. That was great. I didn't even think about it until afterwards. Scary. I don't like it.

Yeah, I would have been so zanyed out of my head. I would have been in Xanadu land. You fly like that all the time? Long flights, yeah. Yeah. How much do you take on a long flight? A bar? Dude, one time we I think we were doing shows at Magoobies.

I accidentally I was scheduling my own travel and I scheduled myself to fly into DC instead of Baltimore thinking it was the same. I don't know why. I thought DC was like attached to Baltimore. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it turns out it's a half hour drive. So I took an Uber from the airport to the hotel. And so I get off the plane.

I'm still Xanadu'd out of my head. The flight was like an hour from Buffalo to DC. You know, nothing big. I don't even know why I did that. And I get in the Uber and I pass out and the guy like wakes me up. He's like, we're at your hotel. Like I felt like instantaneously. So then on the way back, I go, oh yeah, I don't remember how long I was in that Uber for.

And then I looked at it. It turns out it's like a fucking half hour ride. And I definitely missed my flight for sure on the way back because I thought it was like instant. I'm like, oh, it's like a 10 minute drive to the airport. He could have fingered you and stuff. He could have really fingered me. Do you think he may have? That's the beauty of being a man is that I can get Xanadu'd in a fucking Uber and not get my vagina fingered.

You don't know. I mean. And if I did, I'd be like five stars, bro. Thank you. You know, a little extra service here. Extra service. Okay. Tell me what you think.

Do you think this is a man or a woman based on the feet and the legs? Okay. Okay. Right there. How is that even possible? I know. I know. If that's a woman, I'm going to be upset.

That looks like a woman's legs and stuff, right? I guess so. Yeah, they're very hairless. It could just be a boy. Yana, I would like this audio to be analyzed by our YMH staff because I don't buy its authenticity. Can I tell you one thing? Hmm. If it is a woman, like I said, bad.

But I've heard women, I mean rips a man. Like she's really in a position where legs are in a spot. That's a good place to fart. And who knows if she's one of these workout people who's doing the proteins and the greens. She's been brewing that one up for a while. Yeah. And my show, we have listeners submitting queefs. You just did it.

You're going to be on that episode that comes out today. Yeah, yeah. Queefs are different, yeah. Queefs are different, but a couple submissions of the queefs, they showed video of how they make themselves queef and the one woman in it accidentally farted a couple times too. So, and they were fucking, I had to make sure I had to go through the audio and be like, is that a fart or a queef to verify? And it was fucking meaty like that.

Meaty farts. Yeah, healthy girls can fart like that. Now, Yana, I might put, this is some evidence that might enlighten you. So I see a little infant there. I'm assuming the woman who farted just had a baby there. So, you know, holes are loosened up, things aren't as tight for another year or two after you give birth. So that might explain the meatiness of said fart.

Well, just a theory. Now, when you're talking about the sound of a fart, you're discussing the looseness of it. Wouldn't that be more of a sound? No. Yana, that is incorrect. What happens sometimes is you can't hold a fart after you have children. Yeah, they can be beefier, meatier.

It's not like that. Like, it would be, I'm saying this though, when you have a looser beehull and sure it would flap, but it would be more of like that kind of thing as opposed to like, like fucking when it's tight and it's like, yeah, it's a good point. That's a really good point that you're making. I would really like to do some studies on asshole diameter and fart sounds. All I know is that like, I got a pretty tight asshole and my sounds are the full range. Right, you can do all of them.

I can do all of them. Let's your cheeks. Cheeks, okay. And position of cheeks and like where, how you're sitting, right? I don't know. What'd you say? Tom is pretty talented. We're talking about sound here, sound design, sound engineering.

That's what I'm saying. My sounds are all. All across the board. Yeah. But again, you have to think of the circuit. You're not always farting in the same circumstance. You know what? Same material of pant, same position, same maybe seat that it's costing against.

And also what's creating that gas because there's certain things you eat. Very true. I had a travel day yesterday. I flew back and I- You had chicken paprikash for dinner and then this morning your farts were very- No, I'm talking about when I got back last night. Again, and you had chicken paprikash for dinner. No, I'm talking about when I got back last night.

He's talking prior to chicken paprikash. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was like- Just throwing that on the fire. It was a travel day and I just farted fucking crazy, man. Yeah. It was really wild. It wasn't a result of what I ate last night.

It was like what I'd eaten out of town and- Now here's the theory, you guys. You guys are frequent fliers as MI used to be. Do you think it has something to do with the altitude that- It holds the fart up and then you come down. Like do you think the coming up and down affects your farts? What's that shit in diving? What's that-

Right. Of the bends? Of the bends? Yeah, it's like you get the fart bends in the air. The bends. Yeah, do you think that affects your farts? That's interesting. Is that a theory?

Come on, man. Oh, no. I don't know. I mean- That's the more you know, Joe. My dog major. I'm excited. A dog in the White House again.

He's got two. I love it. I don't trust people who don't have dogs, family people. And you know his dog's names are like major and champ. Like exactly what you would picture Joe Biden naming his dog. I can't believe his kid's name isn't major or champ. It's Hunter, isn't it? Yeah, which is the same I can say.

Interchangeable. Remember when Sarah Palin- Dude, I could totally see you doing his crack smoking video. I'd love to be. I'd love to party with Hunter Biden. That's the thing. It's like- It's so dope.

Like Trump's kids never did blow. I mean, come on. Give me a break. No, of course. He's chilling. He's looking at the camera like he set it up. And he's like, oh, and she's giving him a foot job. And then you're like, all right, are you going to come?

And then also then he's like, crack pipe. Wait, is this video out? Did you watch this video? Yeah. This video exists? Yeah. I did not know that. I saw you tweeting about it, but I was like, he's making a joke.

Is this a real video? It's a real video. Oh, wow. Now here's the worst part, though. It was leaked with a blur. His dick or his feet? Yeah. No, of his dick.

Even though you can still see, like it's not a deep blur. It's lightly blurred. And his dick kind of- he's got a nice piece on him. It's kind of like falling out of it. I'm sure. Those pines are like 6'2", and shit. Yeah. It's a nice piece on him.

But you're like- so that means whoever leaked it blurred it upon leak because all the sites have it blurred. Yeah, you were trying to find the uncensored. Yeah, I like to see that offer. That speaks to the leaker. Well, the leaker might not have blurred it whoever they sold it to might have blurred it, and that's the source file then. Because once you sell it-

Yeah, but it's like, why are you selling the blurred version? You're not selling the blurred. I'm saying that they sold it to one person for a lump sum of money. That person blurred it, the other people picked up that video. I got you. The original, he wouldn't sell that to multiple, it would ruin his deal. So that's why there's no non-blurred one, because he's the only one with that version. With that version.

Yeah. Interesting. I mean, he's stroking his dick a lot. I like to see the dick. It really bothers me when I can't see genitals. What's the point? Yeah. I agree.

I just want to get a good idea of what kind of piece our new president has. The big argument that I've heard is that everybody's like, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack. And then some people jump in and go, it's a meth pipe. Oh. Well, Christina, what do you have to say? I would think meth over crack. I think it's more of a meth move, but everyone was saying that he was into crack.

What would you want to get a foot job on? Would you be hornier with crack or with meth? Probably with meth. I think that's where we go. I've never understood the foot thing. Why? I've just never been on board with it. I felt like at one point in my life that you turn a certain age, and that's when the foot

switch goes off, or maybe certain people are willing to let their freak flag fly more in the later age. But I always associated with older douchebag men that like feet stuff, golfers and shit. Golfers? Yeah, dads who go golfing, they're like, oh man, look at those feet. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I've never done that. Sure.

Yeah, I just never heard a cool person go like, oh man, look at the feet on her. But nowadays it's all blurred, but I'm saying back in the day, when I was coming up, I just never heard anyone my age talk about feet sexually, and then I'd always hear dads and shit be like, oh, look at those feet, and you're really talking about these fucking things. Like, are you that starved in your marriage that you're looking at a foot and jerking off to it? Like, what the fuck?

Really? Yeah. And you never, I mean, you heard friends dance. Not my dad. My dad thinks it's gay to like feet. He thinks it's gay? Yeah. Really?

Like homosexual or lame? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no. Like a lot of, he thinks a lot of things that aren't homosexual are, which is funny. He's like, that's gay as fuck if you like that. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's so wild, dude, like all the foreign men are really like, everything's gay.

You know what's true? My dad would always be bothered by the gay pride parade, you know, come on, you can be gay, but do you have to flaunting this shit in public? Oh my God, I just started watching the Sopranos. Just started for the first time, you know, a whole fucking 20 years later. And I just saw the episode where Uncle Junior like is, his girl is like bragging about how good he eats pussy. And he's like, don't let that shit get out there.

And it's like, because they're thinking it's gay to eat pussy. That's great. Yeah. I thought that was so funny to me. Well, I thought that because that was a thing in like rap music in the 80s, like they had like people being like shit smells like fish. And then like, no, I don't, I don't do that episode is I'm like, all of us as like young teens would be like, oh, I guess you don't do that.

That's, yeah, that's lame. You don't want to eat a girl out because that's what lame guys do, you know. So we adopted like, you know, I never, I mean, I'm thankful that I grew up in a time that was more progressive and didn't consider eating pussy gay. I just thought, and then I, and then I'm like looking at like listening to all these like fucking like Italians, like, oh, what a fojuker, whatever the fuck, you know what I'm saying? They're like talking and I'm like, look at that. Like how gay are you?

Look at you. You know? Yeah. Why are you so afraid to push? Loser is Jesus. Have you heard of deck broom? What's that? Is that your mustache?

Yeah. No, no, that would be pussy broom, like because you're sweeping it, you know, but I don't feel your pussy broom when you put your mouth on my stuff. I don't know. It doesn't work that way. Yeah. Well, makes sense though. But if you don't feel it, because I've had like stubble, you know, you can feel on the

legs. That's why this is like softer. I don't like eating pussy with a beard because you don't really get to sense all of it. You're like have a guard on you. Dude, one of my one of my friends, you know, at a rehearsal dinner for a wedding was fucking blackout drunk and announced that he he liked his lady's feet in front of everybody. And he was like, he's like, it makes me so like, I get like I really want to fuck when I look at your feet and everything.

And this is in front of a rehearsal dinner. It's so hot. That's great. So I bet everyone was like, had a tear in their eye. So proud. So proud. Are they still together? Yes.

Well, there you go. Worked out. Yeah. I just never got the feet thing. It wouldn't make my dick hard. It's like, how about you use your hands like a human being? But what are you? We fucking monkeys.

Yeah, but it's just it's just it's your wiring. What's your wire? What do you like? That's weird. I like all the goods, the regular stuff. Feet are good to you. That's regular. But what's good about it?

What do you mean? Like the way they look? You know, women think they're very, very, very sexual. They're shaped beautifully. What do you do with it? They just touch your dick. Sure. Or they touch your dick.

I feel like I need a hand. I need a hand to grab it. I got a foot. Two feet. Two feet. Just touching it. I feel like I'm having sex with a... You make their little...

You know what? It feels like a handicapped person's handling you. What? They're not good enough? I think he's foot phobic, Tom. I'm not foot phobic. Why are you shitting on a very important community? Can I?

Can I ask you this question? What if Tom wore socks in bed? Are you like, what the fuck are you doing? Are you one of those psychopaths? No. Why does it matter? Yeah, exactly. It doesn't matter.

It's not my... How he likes to sleep is his business. I've... You know, just through the hustle and bustle of sex, you know, like you take your clothes off, I don't think to take my socks off all the time. Oh. And I've had complaints. Yeah, I've heard women...

I've heard women... Keeping your socks on and I'm like, oh, I guess I'll take them off. I didn't even know that. Oh, you mean during the love-making marital love act. Yeah. That's lame as fuck. If a guy has his socks on, it's just nerdy. It's like, why are you wearing sneakers to bed, weirdo?

Take it off. Yeah, I get... It's weird. You're noticing it? I don't even know how you notice it. Wow, I see it. It's aesthetic. Wait, do you notice a girl's feet, though?

Not really. I don't even pay attention. And it's not for you. Oh, so you... But like, if a girl had like... It might as well be her elbow. Oh, that's what I'm saying. It's like, if you're like, oh man, you ever get an elbow job?

I'm like, yeah, I guess any part of her skin rubbing my dick is cool. I'm saying, if she had banged up feet, it doesn't bother you. No, I don't even pay attention. I got you. But I don't want like... I get nervous about mine, not like, nervous, like so self-conscious, but like, I'll be like, oh man, I didn't like, clip my toenails completely. Oh yeah.

You know what I'm saying? It's like, wouldn't socks just be safer? No, it's unattractive. It's so gross. Like... I think you just look like a weirdo. You look like a dork. You look like a prisoner, you know?

A dork. I don't think you look like anything because your faces are here, unless you're like fucking flipped around and shit or whatever. Like, who's looking at your feet? I don't know. I just don't even know how people notice it. Like, if a girl had socks on, I wouldn't even, I'd be like, oh yeah, you had your socks on the whole time.

That's because you're a boy. Boys don't care about much. Yeah, you're right. Girls care about stuff. There you go. See, those are pretty. Feet are very beautiful. If they're nice, they're really pretty.

There's a lot of things that are, the sunset is beautiful, but I'm not jerking my dick to it. You're not going to jack your dick to that? No. Wait, how do you come? Those are perfect feet. Not to feet? I don't know.

Like, tits, I don't know. Those are perfect. Look at those. Those are perfect. It's like, you don't jerk off to Niagara Falls? That is not that strange. It's not that it's strange. Oh, she has a foot behind me.

I'm just comparing it. You said it's beautiful, and I agree. They are beautiful, but it's not sexual to me. I get that. It's just not your thing. It's not your kink. Yeah, I never understood it. Your brain, there's theories on it.

You know that? You said that in your wiring, in your brain, that the genital pathway neurons are like crossing with the foot thing, and so it's like your brain misfiring telling you that. That's the theory. Fetish. Yeah. Yeah, there's just, I'm noticing a lot of things that don't make my dick hard lately. What else doesn't make your dick hard?

What about on-camera? I don't know. I can't even put it on specifics, but I've been, like, certain types of women have been doing it lately, where I'm just like, I can't even have sex with this person, even though I want to. Really? Yeah. Like what?

Just like space cadets lately. Usually, I was like all about it. I'm like, I don't care how dumb this lady is. Oh, when she's real dumb, you get, like, turned off? Yeah. Like, when you're just, like, not connecting on any, they're just dead behind the eyes, you know? Yeah.

I was so wired that way from a young age, I would be, I was like 16 when you should be like, I don't care about anything. I'd be like, this bitch is fucking stupid. I couldn't do it. Really? Yeah. Even when they're stupid, I picture you going like, this stupid bitch, I can't wait to destroy her.

That's what I would think. No, I just, I would, I remember being aggravated like, like an old person, like rolling my eyes or talking to somebody when I was that young, just like irritated. Yeah, you, but you were very mature when I met you at 23, you were already like a 40 year old man. Well, yeah, I mean, you were smart, you had nice feet, it was like, you know, all together. Done. You're always put together nicely.

But I did get, I did get irritable at a young age. Yeah. Oh yeah. He did. So did I. I mean, me too. I was a thousand percent, I thank God for weed making me less irritable. What about armpit hair?

On a woman? Yeah. Doesn't affect me. Like, unless it's crazy. I mean, like, if, you know, like, I've, I've been with a few like hippie type ladies and they may be like mis-a-day or two, you know, or one of those things or they don't care, but it's not really a big deal. I'm not like, it's another thing guys like lick armpits and shit, like, okay, I'll, I'll

meet you there. I'll meet you there. No, no. I'm saying when you say about like, I don't get it. Yeah. See, I don't get, I get feet. I don't get armpits if someone being like, I love licking armpits. Some people do.

Yeah. Some people do. And as time goes on, that's not going to sound as weird. It's going to be just like feet someday. This is an article. Why are we grossed out by women with armpit hair? But that woman's pretty with hers actually. You know, I think leg hair fucks me up more than armpit hair.

Leg hair. Do that. You hate leg hair, right? Tom would be livid if I had dark leg hair. I'm lucky I'm blonde. I don't like it. I also don't like armpit hair though on a woman. Yeah.

No. Oh, that doesn't look good. How about a mustache? A mustache? That's hot. I like, I like a thick mustache on a woman. Oh my God. Yeah.

I mean, like, if it was egregious where you're like, what did you just get off the, off a boat? You know what I would do if, like, if somebody, if a girl has long leg hair, I immediately treat her like a refugee. I'll be like, you know, do you need help? Do you need food, water, somewhere to stay? That's the thing about the arm. I know resources.

That's the thing about the armpit hair thing. Like if it was unbelievably long where they're like making a statement, I'm like, were you stranded on a deserted island for two years? Why, what are you doing? You know, but if it's like stubble or missed a couple of days, I don't mind that. You've been with different women and all types. Have you ever had the big bush, like where the girl's got like a nose? Really?

And what, how did that affect you? Varying degrees of affectedness through different times, like some of them didn't bother me. Like I remember like my very, you know, like when you're super young and you have your like first girlfriend or whatever, like they don't know to shave. Like I don't know how early you started shaving your box. I knew immediately because I grew up in a city and I read Cosmo magazine and I had girlfriend. So like right when it started growing, you were like, I know my mother taught me. The minute I had armpit hair, she was like, now it's time to shave.

And I started when I was like nine or 10, I shave my armpits and she's like, once you start, you have to do it for your life. And I'm like, yeah, great. I don't want this shit. And then your box, you learn when you have a boyfriend, you're like, I don't want like a crazy hair. Oh no, sorry, bathing suits because you get pubes and then you want to wear a bathing suit and stuff.

So you guys start shaving for that. That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, I remember like, you know, high school type stuff, early high school, hooking up type stuff. That's ever bothered me. And then the first time you see like a bald one, you're like, oh, wow. That's something.

Now, what about you though? Are you shaving your nuts and stuff? I manscape for sure. 100%. I mean, I keep the nuts pretty tidy. I think that's a fair exchange. That guy should tie it up. I run the old manscape lawnmower beyond the nuts, on the taint.

I mean, it doesn't scrape shit. So I go. Well, that's an invitation. That's an invitation. Just in case they want to get a little... Like that carpet? You got to pave the tarmac. Exactly.

You know what I'm saying? Down to the runway there. There's some other hors d'oeuvres at the end of this thing, if you want to try it out. But I don't shave my pubes all the way to nothing, because I would just look odd on me, you know. I was thinking about getting you a gift, and normally I would surprise, but I wanted to get your take on it first, see if you want it. In today's uncertain times, life can feel overwhelming and leave you struggling for

answers. But you can overcome life's challenges, wake up every morning inspired, and looking forward to each day, introducing the Inspiration Cube, the easy-to-use portable audio system filled with life-changing messages of hope, guidance, and strength. From Joel Osteen, one of the world's most inspiring spiritual leaders. You may feel today like you're trapped. That is not how your story ends. Some dreams are waking up, hope is waking up, abundance is waking up.

With a simple push of a button, remove those negative thoughts with a new message to inspire your day. God is saying to you, you have struggled longer now. Unexpected blessings are coming your way. Is this the only guy in the fucking thing, or what? Joel's greatest inspirations ever assembled. Is it his? Yes.

Oh my God. Audio-Listening Cube. It's all positive. It's not negative. It's all positive. It changes completely. Start each day with just a touch, and sit back for a powerful message of hope, guidance, and inspiration.

The forces that are for you are greater than the forces that are against you. That makes you really... That was his quote. God is in control of your life, and boy have I seen blessings, and put the hope in my heart. Refuse the negative thoughts that prevent you from reaching your goals, and take back control. You can't think negative thoughts and live a positive life. You'll get your mind going in the right direction.

Your life will go in the right direction. Please turn it off. I don't want to hear any more quotes. Today, from a certain time, life can feel overwhelming, and leave you the inspiration cube. I can't stop it. You know why this makes me very triggered? Hold on.

This is the collection of the most powerful daily... Go ahead. I am upset. This is like, my mom would love this fucking cube. Really? Oh my... God. Like, my mom has quotes like that on her walls, on her fridge, in the kitchen and stuff.

That's a type of person. Above her bed. That's a personality. My mom would do that stuff too. What is that? Uh... Empty words just make you go on. How does that happen?

You need therapy. I just want to sell our own cube. I think that's a good one. And you press the button, it's just like... It's up there. Chomo. Right away, you know. Good morning.

And you're like... And then you go... There's no positivity. It's all negative. Yeah. Like the opposite of the Joel Oasting cube. You know? He just lost your life.

It's just like your fuckhead. You fucked up, you know? Oh my God. You're fired, okay? You didn't follow protocol. What kind of empty-headed fuck hears just stupid generic words and goes, thank you? So many people. So many people.

And then you can't just stop negative thoughts by hearing a positive one. It doesn't work that way. You know what? It makes me think more negative thoughts. Like, I want to murder the person who said the positive thing. Of course. I hate those things too. Everybody's too addicted to their phone, so you could actually put the app on your phone

and as soon as you touch your phone... Touch my camera through the feets, you faggot. So it's like, you know, it's really... Why a mage affirmation? Yeah. It's all fence-smoker stuff, you know? Yeah. It's a good idea, Tom.

Just fucking lick that pussy to pieces. That would affect me way more. 10 to 12, Benadryl. Yeah. I like that. You're a fuck-partners. Well, and this Joel Osteen has so much money already. Have you seen the stadiums?

Oh my God. They just showed one there. It's so fucking crazy. That was... How many people are in that venue? That's Garth-level, no? Hire some fucking writers, then. You've just ruined your life.

I think there's 20,000-plus people there? I mean... And he's... Worth more than 50 million dollars. Jesus. I mean, are you kidding? And he's definitely had work done on his face, too. He looks crazy young.

He looks insane. Yeah. You see our boy... How can you take money from people and you're certain... There it is. Isn't the whole point of Christ to be poor? 16,800. So it's a whole arena.

Christ gave him all that money so he can spread his word. It makes me sick, these guys. They're just leaching money from poor people who believe in them. So sad. This inspiration cube is fucking... You need one. How much is it? How much is the inspiration cube?

I will throw it. We're going to buy it for everybody. Everybody gets one for Christmas here at Wiremage. I will throw it off a fucking building. Can we get one, Zolo? Will you order us an inspiration cube so we can play one during the show if things get too negative? It's only $39.99.

It's a good deal. 40 dollars. That's a good deal. Nothing makes me more upset than little fucking sayings where it's like, I'm expressing a problem to you and then you're like, you just have to look at the cup half full. How about you fucking kill yourself? I swear to God, dude. I get like...

Wait. And do you know what's so great about the cube? That's advice. You know what's so great about this cube is that his audience, his demo is so old that he could have just made an app that they could download on their phones, but nobody would know how to do that. So he's like, here's a cube. Just push play.

That is a good point, actually. This is completely to jump the app experience. Yeah. He was building an app and they're like, your fans are not going to just sell a cube. Also, they're so TikTok that he could just put any garbage into that cube. Oh, yeah. It's kind of... It's all...

Even the ones that they displayed up there, it's like, if you're not positive, you're negative. You could ask your cube questions, cube, what do I do about my new Mexican neighbors? Gants them. Oh, yeah. Me neither. Yeah. Gives you help. You know?

It's a helpful cube. This is terrible. And do you think he's got a button there that's like, donate money to Joel Osteen? Sure. There's something in there. Yeah. It's like, if you don't give, then you can't get. You got to give before you can get.

Who is just laying in bed, crippling to freshen, and then they're like, inspiration cube. It's like, be positive today. Thank God. All right. I can go about my life. Or, by the way, I'm HQ. Imagine a pig with tits. You know?

That actually cheers me up. It would help me get... That would definitely... I'd go, oh, do imagine that. And then I get out of bed. Yeah. That is funny. A pig with tits.

I'm going to take a shower. Better hop in the shower. Yeah. Yeah. God. What else, cube? Dr. Drew is like, fuck bitches like crazy. Yeah.

Cool. I didn't know that. I want to fuck bitches like crazy. Yeah. I better make my bed. Yep. Now, I do like positive affirmations, though. Like what?

Okay. So Louise, hey, she's dead, but she used to have these cards. You just buy cards. Like positive sayings. It's just a way to like, if you do feel like shit, you could be like, okay, that things are going to get better, but it doesn't erase your bad feelings. It's just like... I'm getting angry thinking about it.

You're so against anything positive. I really just hate... I'm not against everything positive. I hate the idea of like, these words on a piece of paper or a thing said to me on a cube are going to affect me. Well... Like they don't change my life in any way or my mindset. They're just fucking a sentence that someone put together.

I know. And they're cliches. They're cliches. They're cliches. They're cliches. They are dismissive of your feelings with cliches than they are trying to help you. Maybe you just don't believe in the Lord. Well, that's for sure.

I am a fucking Jew! That's a good one. That's a good one. $40 for that horse shit. Man, that guy. $40 for that nonsense. God. I mean...

I can't even handle it. He's ripping these poor people off. Of course. That one... It's like a fucking... I want to see like the engineering on it. Do you know what I mean? To see if it's like nicely made.

Or just a piece of shit. It's made in fucking Singaporeans. I know. You can just Google affirmations. You don't need to... What if you... Yeah, they're called memes. Like somebody who listened to our show accidentally programmed one to fuck with people.

So that one arrives at someone's house and says, you know, I'm a fucking Jew. So that one arrives at some old lady's house and she presses the button and it's like... So I have a funny question to ask you guys. Is Nicole by a say that in word? She's like, what? What? The old lady's like... God, what is this?

We just say it. God, that'd be the best. If we could sabotage those stupid fucking queues. That would be the best. Oh, God, I would love that. Oh, look. Reviews. I highly recommend the Joel cube.

You can read that over there? Yeah, it told me terrible things. It made me covet my neighbor's wife on the bright side. It did tell me when impending storms were coming so I could lock my doors. Guys, you know what to do. Go and leave your reviews. Seems like people are already fucking with it. People are already fucking with it.

Suck it dry. Yep. There's the cube. Your inspiration cube. Pretty cool, man. What a fucking cunt. Charging old people for an inspiration cube. My mother has the words live, laugh, love.

I hate that one. Above her bed. Oh, my God. Live, laugh, love. That one's everywhere. That's an everywhere phrase. I just couldn't imagine hanging it on my wall and then going like, there we go. Centering it.

Have you been to a girls apartment where she has live, laugh, love? I've been to a plenty of women's apartments who have words on the thing and I go, oh, I know what kind of caliber intelligence I'm dealing with at this point. Yeah. How are they as lovers when they are like that? They can vary. Or they run the fucking gamut, you know? But yeah, that's the term.

We had one stupid sign. It was meant to be stupid. Remember that one? Like some people eat to live. Oh, I live to eat. Yeah. Like one of those corny. We had a few corny ones that we put on the road.

But I can't. I could not in all seriousness put live, laugh, love anywhere. I can put this shit. If it's in a fucking meme, I'm like these empty words that are just supposed to apply to the university to people. Live, laugh, jump off a building. Yeah. Thankful.

Well, that's another one. This shit makes me crazy. Yeah. Y'all, I got this for the house and y'all every time I see it are reminded that I have a lot in my life. This is my mom's website right here. Home. Yeah.

It does feel so right. This is my happy place. This right here. I put it there. And every time I see it, it's a reminder y'all that God has given me so much. And I just need to stop and be thankful for it. I'll position it in a way like this to make me sound less angry about it. And like I'm the one in the right.

Maybe I'm the one in the wrong. And maybe I just like am so broken that these words don't affect me. I would give my fucking left ball to be so simple to just see like live, laugh, love and just go like, thank you. That makes sense. Oh wait, go up one more, native. I want to see the house rules. There you go.

House rules. Let's see. No fussing. No cussing. And what does it say? No back talking. No back talking. Oh look, we gotta get that one for the kitchen.

Yeah. Like who's fucking buying that? Yeah. Well that's somebody who's Mima or their papa or the people who has some old stools. Oh no, no, these are my favorite ones. Word of the day, focus. Fuck off because you're stupid. Like when they're aggressive.

Yeah, the ones that make fun of those things. Yeah. Yeah, they're fine I suppose. How about this? Home is where you hang your glove. Here we go. Watch this. Mind your fucking tricks.

What are your fucking assholes? Mind your fucking bastard. I'll fucking do you. Oh shit. Mind your fucking tricks. Come out. Come out your chicken ass chicken shit bastard. Mind your fucking tricks.

Come on. And put this one. Come on. Come out your fucking tricks. Come out your fucking tricks. Oh my god. Jesus. Scotland knows what's up dude.

If I didn't hear the accents, I would have thought that was outside my apartment. They love to party and drink. Fuck your fucking fucking shit bastard. Shit bastard. You think he's drunk? You're gonna laugh at me. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. They're like oh yeah that's Phil. I'm more concerned he wasn't wearing a mask.

Yeah that's the real worry. That's why they arrested him after all. He had a fire hose on him. Was that what that was? Yeah. Like a fire whatever extinguisher. That was wild. That's gotta be cold.

Yeah I mean I've had some drunk hobos walking by my apartment that sound like that in the middle of the night and I just let them keep going. I don't really have to throw things at them and stuff. You don't really want to rile someone up that's walking by like that you know. I don't think so. They know where you live now also. Yeah yeah. And they tend to like remember those things.

Yeah you have to stay there. They get to leave and come back perhaps. Yeah. I have a blind homeless man that lives outside my apartment. Really? Like 10 feet from my actual bed. Like it's wild how close that we actually sleep if you do the measurement. And it's like so he's blind so it's scary because it's like is this me in the future coming to talk to me

because he sleeps there every day. That close to you? Like it's like my bed is here. There's a wall obviously. And then there's like some grass that goes about you know 10 yards and then there's a fence and then the sidewalk and he sleeps on the sidewalk right there like parallel with me. Like I hear him snoring in the night. You do.

Oh my god. Oh yeah. Do you ever talk to him? I have. His name is Yellow Feather and he doesn't have much to say other than like conspiracies and nonsense. Oh he does? Oh yeah I don't even really follow.

I can't follow it so I couldn't like regurgitate it. Oh it gets different. But then he has a little I don't know where he gets it but every now and then he has an radio that he's listening to outside my apartment. Do you ever give him a beer or something? I've given him a couple cigarettes you know. I actually paid him to go sleep somewhere else a couple times. No you did that.

I swear to god. Tell me that story. I just was like hey man like because he'll get drunk and just scream and shit like oh like he goes like like he's trying not to puke in like the middle of the night 10 yards from where I sleep. So I am like hey man if I give you 20 bucks or you like take a walk and go sleep you know a couple yards away at least or something like that and he has. And I told him I'm like how much for you to like stay away for a week.

You asked him this? Yeah and he's like oh. And so I gave him 20 bucks to get and I'm like and then he didn't come back but it's been getting cold so he's been outside lately. Yeah it is cold. Here's 20 bucks just take a walk. Can you give him a blanket? No I have barely any blankets for my fucking self.

Alright I'm going to give you a blanket to give yellow feather. Fuck yellow. Give it to him for me to have. Alright I'll give you two blankets. Two blankets okay. I'll hook yellow feather up. He's fine. He sleeps outside.

So do everyone right now. It's so cold. What's the difference between him and me 10 yards and a wall. I know it's scary. I mean really in a mattress. Now let me ask you this. If you were to switch spaces how do you think that would make you feel and do you think maybe you'd be more thankful for the situation you're in?

Live, laugh, love Josh. I would think if I was yellow feather I would be like look at this fucking loser paying over a G to sleep right there and I'm right here. We're sleeping in the same place essentially. That's crazy dude. Listen we don't know if I'm not that person someday anyway so yeah I am thankful but I don't know that that's not in my cards. To be homeless?

Yeah who knows. I would kill myself before I was homeless but. You would? Yeah you're not going to be homeless Josh. You're not. No. It's not going to happen. We're not going to let you be homeless.

Because like I don't you ever put there's so many around right now that you have to think about a thing. Oh my gosh. So I always go like would I put a tent up here on the corner of Vermont and Sunset or would I just jump off the 101? There's a guy who's living on the bridge of the 101. What are we doing? There's a guy now you know when one of the bridges over the 101 in Tarzana and he just

puts a lawn chair there and now he lives there on the bridge and he sits over the freeway and he just watches cars. It doesn't sound fruitful to me. I bet you would jump off the overpass onto the 101 and live. And live yeah. And I would visit you in the hospital and be like just your friend would be like what happened? You're like well we amputated three or four limbs he's still got his left leg.

It's just like I blow into my thing and I'm like I think he's saying to kill him. And they spent so much money to save you and people donated it. I'm trying to like blink with my eyes like stop smother me with my pen. Just so desperate just can't express it in any way I have a pen I'm like I can't even write it. Put it in your mouth. Okay I think that's a K. Kiss him? He wants kisses.

Aw. He wants a kiss. The poor fella. You're going to get through this buddy and have this prison of my own body. And then they're like they go I think he had an accident and he fell and you're like I jumped. I want to die. I think he would be a prostitute before you became homeless.

I'd be a prostitute right fucking now if there was a demand for such a thing. He's out there going I'm trying to get him to do it for fucking fun let alone do it. Do you think you probably have more male clients than female clients? Yeah that's true. That would be rough. I don't think I could. I mean I'm not a homophobe or anything like that I just can't I couldn't fake it enough for them to be satisfied.

That's true. Like God. You know. Yeah no I know. But yeah I don't understand the whole like I'll put my tent right here outside this right aid. Oh my god right aides are so dicey in LA now. I haven't been.

All the CBS right aides always have like a like a hang. At least some mental illness happening inside of it where it's just like where's the fucking yelling and shit. It's always crazy. Ma'am can you put your mask on and she's like she barely has her pants on let alone mask. It's fucking wild out there right now. So bad.

Dude one time like there was a crazy old lady outside the CBS and she was like I'm going I was like all right all right all right and I reached my pocket and I just gave her twenty bucks and she was like oh and she tried to hug me and I was like get the fuck out of here. Don't put your hands on me. She was like so emotional about it. Babe. Yeah.

Babe. Well that's what made me worried about yellow feather was that he started coming back because I was incentivizing him. Oh right. Oh that's right. Yeah. You fed the stray cat. Yeah.

And then I then they're honest to God you guys started bringing other people to sleep there. I was like I'm going to like hobo parties. And I thought it was because I gave them and I'm like I'm not giving all these fucking so I just like hold up inside and you guys are going out to be like hey I put a little Easter egg on the corner of Normandy and they just have them like look for it be like yeah there's a hundred bucks over there but it's three and a half miles away you got to get over there.

I am impressed with all the tense placebo I'm sorry and it's when like you're when you're constipated and you have trouble pooping in public places but you have to really go to the bathroom so you go to into a gas station and you sit down and you pretend to poop or you go through the motions at least and then you you know you get up and go on your way and there's something about it that just works so well. What works. That's maybe three days minimum five max off of that before you're before you lose control but hey if you need a quick fix and you know you're not going to go to bathroom just pretend

to go to the bathroom and your your body will the motions will you know that's how it works. I'm not sure what the utility is. This is kind of like the any school in the bathroom so he's like I pretend to go he's like satisfies if you if you really need to take a shit but you don't want to he's saying just sit down on the toilet your body will think that it's doing it and then you can last longer you can last minimum of three days maximum. I have the reverse half I don't even have to shit and I'll just go like I got to go kill some time like remember when I had an office job I would just go to the ticket pretend

to take a shit like all the time I would sit in there for 20 minutes at a time looking at my phone and sometimes even when I didn't have to I'd be sitting there I'm going huh I'm taking a shit right now you know it just come out. I can and I can motivate myself to shit too if I just feel like a little fart I can be like I can shit right now. But it wasn't even motivation it was just through me sitting on the toilet my butt was like hey we're here we might as well dump some shit out of our pocket you know. That's a neat story.

Yeah. Who's this fucking like what's I don't know I don't like this guy's whole thing it's not for me. He's he's very I'm into shitting I like to shit. You both I think both covered we lost a great a great man a week or so ago Sean Connery and you both discussed on your respective shows the famous interview with Barbara Walters. Yes we played it on your mom's house like eight years ago because it's so old but it's kind of cool to remind people and I want to put this on my wall for the record.

This is an inspirational quote that I'll put on my back behind my bed. Yep. You didn't interview in which you said it's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then as I remember you said you don't do it with a clenched fist it's better to do it with an open hand. Yeah. Remember that. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't love that. I haven't changed my opinion. You haven't. No. You think it's good to slap a woman. No I don't think it's good. I don't think it's bad.

I don't think it's that bad I think that it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it. What would merit it? Well if you have tried everything else and women are pretty good at this they can't leave it alone. They don't want to have the last word and you give them the last word but they're not happy with the last word. They want to say it again and get into a really provocative situation then I think it's absolutely

right. That's what's up. What? You agree with him? I do. I do. I do agree with him. You guys just open slapped hands.

Yeah. Yeah. I think he's making a great point and I think that some people don't know when to like you know button it up and sometimes you give him a little reminder. I mean I 100% agree. I mean you set you set reminders on your phone right you got alarmed. Yeah. This is just a real life alarm and it's an open hand.

I think my dad shares his philosophy too. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you go to hit the woman. I mean what if she's like talking talking talking. I think so. I don't think he ever really did. Yeah.

But he would be he would like this clip. I actually took that quote and made an inspirational Instagram thing Nadav it's on my Instagram if you want to. Oh. But yeah I know I man he's just I loved all the Hollywood people being like what a great like you know the same people who like you know would bemoan somebody who did much lesser things in their day and said lesser things in the past like you getting rid of my lady bugs.

Yeah. That's a different one. That one you could put above too. But why I'm age. Lindsey Graham won. He won. So that's why he's like me my ladybug's still here. We're still going to be making the rule.

It's down when Sean there it is. It's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then that's all Sean Connery. Very nice. Yeah. That's pretty good. Everybody did by the way honor him and oh my God what an amazing man in the era of he is the he is literally the personification of misogyny. Yeah.

I don't know money planning. I mean he was bond. I mean everything like all the things you know what I'm saying but here's a deal man and I we talked about this on where my mom's at is that first of all this fool was almost a hundred years old. I was born and was in 1930. Oh no. So yeah.

But everyone's like toxic masculinity. The problem is it's kind of fucking hot. Yeah. I'm saying like he got laid. He was a strong male character. It's fucking hot. Chicks want to bang that. I am on your team a hundred percent when he hits me I get it.

I didn't see anybody where people literally out like where people actually like when he died being outraged because I saw the opposite. I saw the woke the woke ease being like what a great man blah blah blah but you know at the same time. It just made it sound hypocritical compared to. Can I tell you what I think is really going on in this clip though. Yeah. That's why that's why I told Christina.

I think it's because this is a very relatable when somebody they were just like they're coming out of a laugh like a good moment and then she pivots it's like kind of like a what journalists interviewers are you know. It puts you on the spot. Yeah. Put you on the spot about one of your fuck one of your fuck ups and everybody's been in that position where like someone calls you out and you're like yeah you know like you she wants him to she wants to shame him right.

And so he's very aware of that and in the moment it's a very it's a very in the moment decision. You remember we saying that and he was like yeah and you know what because he knows what she's doing. He's like and you know I still believe that and it's like he might not really believe probably doesn't but he probably hasn't slapped the woman in years. Yeah. Yeah.

It's probably been like at least a month. Oh yeah. I mean and he's like you know what you're trying to embarrass me. So fuck you. That's right. Yeah. Because she did the typical the way that he was laughing it's like let's disarm him completely and then bam it's like a thing where you're caught off guard and you say something that

perhaps it's like the Mike Tyson interview in in Toronto when the guy's like oh you're here with your show. That's cool. Now you've spent time with the mayor. And of course you're a convicted rapist and then Tyson was like what you can't do that with Mike Tyson. You're not playing with the same kind of deck of cards right. So you can't really try and then Mike goes you're a piece of shit and today we're on

morning TV. He's like fuck you. Yeah. What are you going to do about it. Yeah. Bitch. And then that guy's like I think everyone will help me here everyone was like we're not going to help you.

I will murder you. Yeah. I mean like Mike Tyson will fucking. Yeah. Wouldn't it be great. How great would that to go on. I would love to go on morning TV like that and be like hey what the fuck's up every you know what I mean just like start swearing so they kick you off like right away and like

get it out. It would go viral in a second. I know. Maybe I'll do that if I go on. In this clip if Sean Connery had ended the bit with like yeah I had a woman and I'll fucking hit you too bitch. Or if he just literally ended it with hitting her. Yeah.

He's so great. Smacked her. He's like oh. That'll teach you to be rude in an interview right there. I just gave you my time. Damn. And you're being rude. I quite like to do that.

Like do you think he really hit women did any women come out with that like Sean Connery hit me. I don't know. No I think it's more like you said it's just like the guy from 19 third that means he was 15 in 1945 when World War II was ending and his dad was probably like if you take a dame out and she really yaps back at you just give her a pop in the mouth. Yeah. That was like values back there.

Yeah. Yeah. His mom probably said that too. She's like you know you get these women get too mouthy these days they need a good slap. Open hand. Don't knock your teeth out. Okay.

Have you ever been asked during sex to slap the woman. He beats the shit out of me every time. You get slapped across the face. Holy shit. I think I got these big fake teeth in the front. Tom knocked down my teeth. Oh my God. God dog really.

Oh he is brutal. Savage. I used to think. How do you not bruise. You should see what that's why I wear these sweatshirts. I used to think that I couldn't do it. You know. Yeah.

Well I thought I think that too. I think I could do it. But it's your wife. It's fine. I think I could do the choking slapping thing. Yeah we do it all the time babe. No we don't. We can start.

I can think of you as someone who would stand for a slap across the face. There are girls who are like fucking slap. Yeah. And it is scary. I don't want to do that. Yeah you gotta be careful with that. You've been asked that. You've been asked for that.

Yeah. Slap me across my face. What are you doing. You say no. Well I did it really softly. They're like what was that. Like you know what I'm like. Oh you.

Like I'm not gonna fucking do it. And they're like why not you bitch. Yeah. And they basically get upset with you but I'm not gonna I'd rather that than them go like officer. You know what I mean. Like you know. Oh yeah.

I feel like if I was on the market today and I ran into one of those I'd probably fuck up. You know. If somebody was like slap me I would be like oh I've been working on punches for a while now. Yeah. You know. The invitation might be a little too open.

Too excited. And then you're just like go a little too full bore. I go full slap. She's out. I come and I'm like what do I do now. Like there's evidence. You cannot. This girl is like this one girl like fucking beat me like that like and I'm like I'm never

going to be able to do that. No don't do it. Here's a thousand milligram powder right here. Let's see. That's okay. Whoa. Killer. Oh shit.

Oh my god dude. That'd be so fun. Oh. Damn. I'd be panicking pretty hard. I'd be pretty. As long as I didn't fall off the first time. I'm good.

Holy shit. That's terrifying. This is a fucking guy on a I don't know 70 foot tree and he just chopped off the top of it and then the tree is just swinging wildly because of the loss of the weight. You know. Of the head of it. Yeah. The head chopped off.

Jesus Christ. They do this around L.A. I've learned. Yeah. With the really tall trees because I always wondered that those things fall off and they could like kill palm friends. Oh yeah. When there's like Vin this very Vin the outside. Those palm friends can kill people.

That's great. That's like a West Coast icicles. You want to see. You want to see Christina on 10 milligrams of weed. Oh my god. You love it. Just 10 milligrams. You did 10.

Look. Bro. Bro. Look. Bro. Look. Look. Look.

Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Look. Did I.

Like it? Yeah. You are faded. Yo. This. Does that work. Crossf제� just Barbados. Is that where time homie.

He did. He shot up at work. That's all. She's trying to get gas. I need to the paper. Fuck. He'll get through. Let him work it out.

And that's what you do. He's working it out. All right. He's fighting. She needs gas and I want toilet paper. He cannot work the register guys. He's in a fight right now. He's just got to get through it.

All right. He's battling. How does he stay standing. He's battling. I'm telling you. He's just got to get the knot out. He's got to lay down. He'll be all right.

Do you know how mad the owner is? Like the owner of the gas station. He's like. How do you do heroin in my. I give you a job. You're heroin high. You fucking do the heroin in my store. All right.

Before we get to your these talks real quick. Oh you got some talks on. Couple talks. You got to watch couple talks. Got to do in heroin. Oh that's. Don't. I'm not going to do it till I'm in the grave but I'm going to do it someday.

Don't risk it. Not till I'm well in the grid. Like if I'm once I lose facilities of my ass like where you can't wipe your ass. Like when you get that old you know when you can't wipe your ass anymore. Here's the deal man is that I think doing heroin is just very involved because the problem is you have to keep doing heroin. You're always on the hunt and the grind of like getting the money to get the smack and finding you know.

If I'm an old man who's got social security and nothing else going on. Yeah. Why not. No I know. Thousands of orgasms. That's true. You just have to have a runner get your drugs for you I guess. Yeah.

What about people though that about the Rose Motel. Just real quick. Oh. About the show itself. Yeah. Just the show itself. Well it's a it's a it's my show and we cover all kinds of topics ranging from news stories to sports stories.

Nothing that is actually serious so you don't have to worry about that. We're not talking hard hitting facts things like that salary cap things and on the news side we're not talking about fucking polls and shit. And I'm having fun doing it and it seems like people are enjoying watching it. And you were just on the latest episode that came out today. Yep. And thank you for doing that by the way I hope you had fun and I did it was a good time. Yeah.

So yeah we'll have a guest in the Roach Motel every now and again I'll have the vacancy no vacancy sign on but for the most part it's just going to be me rocking out doing my thing. Yeah. I'm excited for you. You play queeps. We got so we got to get some more Roach Motel at YMHpodcast.com please submit your queeps because send your queeps and important stuff and I'm and I have to emphasize this point

please stop sending porn star queeps. We want natural real real and if you're a man you got to get it from your mother your wife your sister whatever you know that's how you get queeps above 18 queeps above 18. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Above 18 queeps.

Before I get to talk did you see this president we're doing is I don't know what's up. Fuck off. I've seen a lot of those over the course of the year. Yeah. I've seen a few of those over the course of the years where he told so the reporter told him to fuck. Yeah. Did he know he was on the air.

I don't think he knew he was on the air. Yeah. He probably didn't because he probably wouldn't have said that. Yeah. But how great is it now that. I'm going to tell him to wait because it doesn't start that he's on the air. Maybe. Oh yeah.

Yeah. He does. Yeah. He doesn't. I think he said buzz off. Oh. He said buzz off. Now that I hear it again I heard buzz off.

Not fuck off. Without looking. President. Where do it is. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.

Buzz off. Yeah. He does say buzz off. But I wish I were. It's buzz. It's buzz. It's buzz off. Oh.

But you know what's been great since Trump got since Biden won is that now Anderson Cooper is letting loose. All of your CNN is letting loose and saying crazy shit like Anderson called him an obese turtle upside down flailing and like that was pretty wild. They've been holding this shit for four years. It's great. It's a lot. The reporters cursing on the air though is my favorite thing.

That is the best. And then they have to address an apology or issue an apology as if we're fucking children. Yeah. My child heard the reporters say fucks and then they say fucking their minivan every fucking two seconds. Of course. Hi there. Barry Helman here.

Still sick but I want to bring it was brought to my attention that Christian and Todd was a was an overdose to on pills. I wish you luck. Thank you. So it's just become quite meta now in that our listeners are getting responses from our favorite tiktokers. Yeah. Barry Helman Barry Helman talker.

Is it like cameo where you can send a request thing and no they just write the comments in the comments so much so that you would think Garth would acknowledge us at some point but you know that one is crazy. This guy probably has like one comment yet blows his load. He's like holy shit. I have to talk about this for a week. Yeah. Barry Helman do I believe in God.

No. She broke her. I found that one. I was gonna say I don't remember that one. Yeah. That was good Tom. Hey I'm proud of you. Thanks.

You came to the dark side of the force. Welcome to dark talks. Your feet is looking pure. My bio and tiktok says I'm single but my Facebook relationship status says I'm taken. I am not joking. I really am taken. Oh. Bye.

Sorry Josh. Well her eyebrows status is saying single as well. You see because there's one. There's only one. Yes. Good one buddy. Thanks man. My name is Paula not Karen you fucking bullies.

Fucking eat shit and die you fucking bullies. All the people that are dead from suicide from people like you. You fucking piece of shit. I wonder how many Karen's did kill themselves. Like how many are like they called me a Karen. I bet you none. None. None.

I bet you there's zero. My queen's above 18. Here he is. I'm over here and men are delivering a load. It was 430 when I woke up and started driving. That was too early to give you beautiful women a call. So it's time to wake up. It's 8 a.m. on a Friday morning.

Everything looking beautiful and no. Men are Ohio. Men are Ohio. You guys have a wonderful day. My queen's above 18. I love you all. You guys have a wonderful day. Bye king.

Now come on my queens let's do the king challenge. I'm waiting for the videos. Send me a video. Let me know when you do them and I'll look them up. Or send them to my private messaging. I would love to see them. I love my queens above 18. You guys have a beautiful day and I will talk to you tonight.

Let's all do a fun video. What's the king challenge? The king challenge. Why do you break it down? So you have to be above 18. Of course. Yeah. And you put on a white t-shirt.

Just have fun with it and spray yourself down with water and then send that video. Everybody has fun doing it. Everybody has fun. It sounds like fun. I might go do it for the king. I don't know if you've fit the queen that he's looking for though. Not those kinds of things. You have the latest one that he posted?

No. That literally just dropped. We don't have that prepped yet. I would have thought this guy was- Can you play it from the source? Like if you send it to him? Yeah. Can I?

May I send it to you? Yeah. Email it to me. Are we sure this isn't just Dan Blazarian's like brother or something? Good call. You know what those headphones and everything? I mean it looks like he's really flossing. Okay native.

I'm sending to you right now. Stunt 101 man. Menor, Ohio. Well I do, you know what? I do like the change of shirt. I think the green is definitely a nice color on the green. When you're that size you want a real electric color. Let people know.

Yeah really. So you can't get missed. Yeah. You know? Well I'm going in your neighborhood. Going ding dong. Is this him? Don't get me.

Oh. Don't get me. Oh. Don't get me. Oh. It's just- Oh. What the fuck is this baby?

Oh. What is this? It's called just fun with the- I like this watermelon head filter. Yeah so that's what I'm saying. Fun with filter. Okay so this is the most- It would be fun if you got a real watermelon head filter.

This is the most recent. This is the most recent talk right now. Oh over here? Sorry yeah. But yeah. There we go. Love 18. I just had a young lady show me the video of your mom's house and I didn't catch it

the first time that Christine what she said, but I caught it the second time, Christine how can you call me a pedophile rapist when you don't even know me? Yeah. You don't know how I am, you don't know anything about me, but you want to label me as a pedophile rapist. I know you. I mean women and courage men and telling them how beautiful they are and you want to call me a pedophile rapist.

That's true. That is very self-centered. I don't want you to wear my stuff on your show, I retract that video. You have a good day. How dare you. What am I queens about? So- You called him that?

You said those horrible words about him? Listen I have two kings next to me, do you think what he's doing is a little creepy? That's not a pedophile, he emphasized plus 18. I don't know if you heard that part. I think he is, and you know what, I will give him that, that is definitely factually inaccurate that he cannot be a pedophile because he is above 18. He says above 18. It's a big deal.

So the I apologize king, you're absolutely right about that, however it's still creepy, it's a little, it's a little, hey. I don't know how it's creepy king, I don't know what she's talking about. King, I got your back. I'm jealous, I didn't come up with it, frankly the challenge. I think you're just, what you're doing is you're putting out this positive energy to all these women out there who are like, I don't feel so good about myself and you're telling them that they're beautiful and they can have fun by doing the king challenge and

getting a white t-shirt, not wearing a bra, maybe wetting themselves down. He's totally feeling their self-esteem. Making a fun video. That's true, yeah. And I think it's really cool that you're doing it and I hope you don't let her negativity get you down and I don't think you're a rapist. I mean, maybe I need to do the challenge and... Yeah.

That would really, I think that would make it up to the king. That would make it a mega mess. You've offended him quite a bit and I think your olive branch should be pouring water out of your shirt. What if you did, like you're like, I got a white t-shirt and you said to him and he just wrote back like, seen better. What the fuck? Hey.

He ranks them. Hey. Like those chicks on Onlyfans, do you know that on Onlyfans you could pay $5, $10, whatever to a woman to rate your penis? That's like the new thing now. Cool. I would do that. To like your favorite porn star to rate your penis.

How does she rate it? I don't know. I don't really, I've actually wondered that myself but I've never wondered enough to try. Well, what you're asking is like a food critic, how do they rate five-star meals? I mean, you're talking to a dick connoisseur. What do you mean? And they're influxed with dick pics all the time guys love sending their porn stars,

their dicks. So this is a way for them to monetize that sort of thing. That's so smart. And I bet they tell them they're all good. Typical. Turn around, mind your business. I was thinking you can't, don't you worry about what's going on back there. You're making my plane leave.

Hey, you know what? You're making your plane leave. Because you're in my business. Turn your ass or something. Look, how's that guy turning in a plane seat? I just thought you would like the confrontation there. It was super confrontational. That guy, how is he even maneuvering like that inside of an airplane seat?

I know, he's really. He's fucking massive. Really? Jesus Christ. I thought we were about to see someone's heads get bashed in. Which one? Which one? The guy, because the guy walking up there that was just told to sit down.

I thought he was coming over to straighten this dude out. What the fuck? She is eating plaster. This is from the Ukraine. This is a Ukrainian tiktok. She's pretty hot. I know. It's weird that she's eating plaster.

Plaster? Yeah. Look what she likes. I mean, that's just the video is that she's eating a solid thing of plaster. I know. I know a thing she wouldn't be too afraid to eat after eating that. You know what I'm saying? The fact that you have to give her credibility on anything after you see her doing that.

If that's your girl and she's like, you know what I think we should do with the city ordinance? You shut the fuck up about everything. Or just emotional. You've been eating the walls. Just like parts of your relationship. She's like eating on the drywall. And she's like, I just think we have to communicate more. And you're like, you're fucking.

You're so crazy. You're such a daffy. I mean, this is wild. I mean, maybe she has that disorder where people like to eat bizarro things like dirt, inanimate objects. I forget what it's called. I know what makes less sense to you. This or feet.

You have to think on that. Like maybe she's just displaying the strength of her teeth though. She's eating plaster. Strong teeth. Really? My teeth would fall right out doing that. Right? That's what I'm saying.

So maybe it's a show off, like a flex. Like a Russian flex. Like Luca strong with teeth. Yeah. Can I get your number? No, I'm married. I don't care. You're hot.

I think I love you. That was for you. What? I imagine that. What's the lesson? That happens to you a lot. All the time. I'd be like 716.

What do you do if some hoe said that to you? What would you say? Just like him. I'm married. She's like, I don't care. You're hot. I'd be like, I don't have a lot of time. Hurry up.

Run over here and suck my dick. Babe. Get in the U-Haul. Quick. Quick. Babe, that was a test. Why don't we pull over to this Walmart and you can see what's up. Guys.

Excuse me. Oh, fuck. I jumped at that. I like jumped up. Oh, that was so awesome. This is so you get scared. Holy shit. I felt like a fucking R word back in the 20s that saw the train coming out the picture

and it moved, you know, like when the fucking movies were the first time. Freaked out. Was it that wild, dude? Yes. That was awesome. Yes. Oh, yeah. This is a good talk.

What? Did not see that coming. Huh? It's in and out. Excuse me. Oh, shit. Let's grow a tractor. Isn't it quite a vertical, right?

Yeah. It jumped out from the bottom. Those things can jump. Well, he just had some in and out. He was full of nutrition. Full of nutrition. He's strong as fuck. Everybody!

I just want to remind you that you are the main character and you get to decide what happens next in your story. So make it something exciting. Don't let anyone else write the ending for you. I love you. This is Joel Osteen's cube. Oh, God. I get so embarrassed for people.

Yeah. This is like inception, too. I want to see that guy's feed. Yeah. The guy in the thing that's looking into the camera. His TikTok must be insane. Really crazy. Jesus Christ.

So he was giving inspirational wisdom in the middle of a Walmart, like shouting it. But what's the difference between this guy and, for instance, when we were out to dinner the other night, I was having a cigarette. Take it easy, fuckhead. And I saw a girl walking in Beverly Hills doing this, kind of talking into the camera like that. Well, the difference is she's not screaming her message to unwilling people. It's weird as fuck.

Yeah. But these people are just trying to go about their day at Walmart. They don't need your inspiration. Mm-hmm. You know? It's kind of assuming. Do you think that's what people want to video Burt when he's in Walmart and he's like, hey, guys, what's up?

Like he's doing his, because he's loud when he does it. He's not screaming. He's so camera crazy. He films everything. He's good at it, too. Like he does it almost like in a way where he's not bothered by doing it. Yeah. And I'm always admiring of that because I'm always like, I got to go hide in this corner

to do my Instagram video or something. Yeah, I'm like you. I'm not as comfortable as he is. Yeah. He's just up in the up. He's like, all right, I'll do a short list in the middle of a restaurant. I couldn't. Yeah.

Yeah. I couldn't even take my photo and look at it. So embarrassing. Yeah. The differences between male and female serial killers, males typically kill for sexual gratification, whether that's psychological or physical, and their victim's identity matters less. They typically kill strangers. In contrast, 90% of female serial killers know their victims and they tend to kill for

practical or justifiable reasons, at least in their minds, with the most common motivation being financial gain. See, this dumb twat doesn't realize sexual gratification is a practical reason. First of all, she's not a dumb twat. I really enjoy her talks. I'm with you. Sexual gratification. That's the most practical reason.

That's super practical. What am I supposed to do? Not come? Yeah. So... Well, what's her idea of a practical reason? Oh, they wronged me? Yeah.

Can I tell you something? All the talkers I follow, I really like her because they're all random information like this. Like, she'll tell you how to survive a plane crash or an elevator falling, which is pretty dark. How does she say to survive an elevator falling? I forget. Jump up before it hits the ground, one of those.

I don't know, but I forget. I don't like her. She's cool. Isn't that neat that women kill for money and men kill for sex? I mean, that's not news. Yeah. And men are indiscriminate killers, though. You guys are like, anybody, anybody will do.

I would venture to say that's more heartful than the women who kill people they know, that is very heartless. How could you kill someone that you've spent time with, intimately? Yeah. Because then you really, really mean it. You're like, I'm gonna fucking kill this motherfucker. Yeah, I think that's worse than not really mean it's more harsh. Oh, I think indiscriminate is way worse, because you're just like, I don't care.

I'll kill this person who did nothing to me. Dude. That's the way to do it. You wait at the fucking greyhound, you just see someone walk off and you grab him. Yeah. Or you just like... That's so unfair. You know, that's fucking life by wild.

You walk by a guy sleeping in garbage and you just... No one's gonna miss that guy. That's what I'm saying. Where's the big crime there, if it's like the guy sleeping yellow feather? Yeah. He'll be like, thanks. Yeah. He'll be like me after I jump off the 101, he'll be like, thank you.

That's a good move. On that note, guys, thanks a lot for watching and listening. Don't forget to check out Roach Motel Tuesdays at 6 a.m. here on The Your Moms House. YouTube channel. You can also listen, rate, review, subscribe on iTunes, listen wherever you listen to podcasts. And don't forget, November 20th, we have the next YMH Live. Tickets are on sale at ymhvirtual.com. Do not forget to get tickets ahead of time if you don't want to deal with the mass influx

on the day. Our closing song. Can I plug a couple dates for it? Of course. Of course. These are the only shows I have for 2020. So please come out. On Sunday, I will be in Phoenix at Stand Up Live.

So you can get tickets for that at J. Underscore Potter on my Twitter, at Josh Underscore Potter on Instagram. The link for that show and all the shows is up there. The 17th in Nashville, the 18th in Huntsville. So those are my only shows for 2020. Let's get tickets. Let's go get. Let's do it.

Get your tickets, Josh Potter. And a closing song is YMH Tune by Beats by Minolo. Hi, Mommy. Thanks, Jeans. Thank you for watching this episode of Your Mom's House. And if you had a great time, watch more videos here, here, here. Don't forget to subscribe here, here, here so that you will know when your Mom's House video comes out immediately.

Thanks, Jeans.