Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 586 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

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one-one-one one-one-one Wah, wahh wahse wahh wahse I think I'm fully talked Mahalo and welcome to another episode of your mom's house The jeans are in town We're in town

And I'm gonna I'm getting out of town to bring up my Nashville day native You're getting out of town I'm getting out of town Can I tell you, I'm going to Addison Those are already sold out Thank you so much for everybody who bought tickets Click down, go down to my tour dates

I'm gonna be getting to Nashville Go down, mommy, down, down You're going to Nashville in March March 11th, 12th, I think 13th That's awesome Yeah, so get your tickets now You know, these clubs are only going in half capacity So there's very few tickets

So if you want to go, I advise you buy tickets early And I got cleared to go to Florida Okay Florida I'm going to go to Palm Beach Next month, it starts the 16th I don't think it's actually even on there yet But it should be

Yeah, so February That's how you say it, right? 16, 17, 18, 19 I'm doing the Palm Beach improv And then I got a college gig And I got cleared to do it I took my glove off today to show you Oh, that's a big deal

Oh, also, I added a show in Addison Thursday night So we just added that show So you can buy that now There you go, and there you go So we're going back on the road Let me see it, I'm so happy You're doing great It's getting better, it's getting better

They told me your nerves regenerate one millimeter a day One millimeter a day One millimeter a day So it takes a while for this shit to come back But it is getting better I can move that Did your doctor go It's going to take a while for that shit to come back

He goes, listen, I've been a fucking doctor For a fucking while, bro And I was like, yeah And he goes, I've seen this shit I've seen this fucking shit all the time And I was like, cool, man And he goes, you just got to wait As that shit fucking sucks

But you fucking wait And I was like, I hear you, bro He's like, you should like chill, smoke a bowl home Chill the fuck out And let your fucking body do its shit And I was like, excellent You're a good doctor, man So he told me that

And then my PT came by and she was like, here's the thing Fucking pussies, they don't fucking recover the way Like fucking beasts do Which are you? And then I did blood flow restriction And she goes, you're a fucking beast, you're not a pussy Yeah, she really does talk that way She goes, I bet none of your fucking friends

Could handle this shit And I was like, okay She's a badass, I really dig her She and I immediately hit it off I was like, you got a potty mouth like me She comes in with like the best attitude I love it Positive energy, I really like her

She's really great, man Dr. Karen, shout out Big shouts, so you're doing Nashville So excited Flo Rida, should we just do our proper show open? These antibodies are just great Antibodies Thank you, COVID

I've got the antibodies, buddy All right, let's start the show I'm excited, I need this Let's do it, let's go That looks like where the bunk hole was, right? Because they kind of look like shit stains Oh yeah, there's the pussy right there So, let's give it a whiff

Oh, that is pungent I'm selling the shit part now You can actually smell some shit Oh my goodness, this is hot This is giving me a boner right now Erration achieved Erration fucking achieved, dude What's up, doc?

This is a big time Oh, I'm so crazy Don't bring anyone loving to this Your mom in the fucking set So crazy Welcome Welcome to your mom's house With Tom Segura

Tom Segura And Christina Pajitza Christina Pajitza Welcome to your mom's house You did it You did it Stop You know the best part

I did ask my doctor You know, I have these shows in Florida Can I do them? He goes, when are they? And I told him, he goes, yeah, you can do them And I go, like, what if I, you know, like, can I stand for that period? And he goes, you're standing right now? Okay, and I go, what if it, you know, like, what if my leg starts to hurt?

He goes, get a stool. That's a good point. You sit on the stool. I was like, okay, I think I'm good. Thanks for all the info. Have you stood longer than a few minutes at this point? Gosh, I could stand for a while. Yeah, okay, good.

I could stand for a while. But I bet you're going to be so juiced on adrenaline. Yeah, I bet the part that's going to feel the weirdest is the walk up to the stage. Because I've got to be like, help. You know what I like about you right now, though, is that your cool brace walk. You walk with a swag. Yeah, yeah. You look like Fred Sanford.

A dick lean to the left. Yeah, it's pretty good. You get kind of a stanky dick walk now. Yep. And I hope you never lose that. It's never going away. And when you played the intro today, you were gloveless. And that made the intro sound different this time, too.

I think so. It was a more slick, neat, kind of raw thing. What did you think of the cool intro to the episode? Thanks for asking. I have wanted to know what men do with dirty panties my whole life. And I feel like finally at 44. Let's go on the full ride. I got to see what happens.

Why just show that? Let's see the full ride. All right, boyos, here we go. I just came back from the gym and picked up my package. I'm whispering a little bit because my woman is sleeping. It's 2 AM here, so I got to keep it down. Is this what you do when I wake her up? She would be really devastated if she found out.

No shit. That's why I'm making a video. I'm so excited, wow. OK, so what is this exactly? These are three-day worn panties. They were worn by a 19-year-old, supposedly, a 19-year-old girl with a hairy, dark, hairy ass and a little dark pussy from what I can tell.

I have a skinny pussy, but you can see the outline. It looks really dark and juicy and nasty, which I love. Why do I enjoy this so much? I have no idea. I'll tell you what's funny is that when you hear about kinks, I think you get to a point where you're like, yeah, I know that that exists and whatever. It is different to see it.

And also, I don't know if this is genuine or a bit. He has some. Seems real to me. He has performance traits. You know what I mean? The way he looks to the camera, it's not like I could see this being a bit. But I still find it very entertaining.

Now, hold on. Before we go on, it's interesting. I didn't realize that it needs to be three-day worn. Well, somebody that is buying. I've talked to a dom who says that guys who have bought shit from them said, eat this diet and eat it for a few days and then shit into Tupperware and mail it to me. I think the whole thing is that he wants this.

And people want this to smell. If it doesn't smell, then there's like. They want a really pungent. They want the product to be pure. If you pull it out of the dryer and it smells like bounty or whatever, then it's like. Not fair. But here's the thing is that as a woman,

the thought of wearing panties for three days and sweating in them is revolting. Oh, yeah. Is it revolting to get $800 for them? Wait, Ann, how nasty is this bitch that she had dookie spots, too? He probably was like fart as much as you can in these. I mean, it is rare for me to get dookie spots.

But I mean, I did yesterday, but we'll get into that later. That's for the audience. I got to get clear on that story. And that was because skip that story. I had a really intense brown water. We can skip the story. So I paid about $30. $30.

US dollars. US dollars. Including shipping. Including shipping. Now, it could have been cheaper, but I paid extra for the three days of wearing. Because I'm monopolizing her vagina, right? And I also paid extra for her not to wipe her pussy

after pissing. I paid like $2.50. It's got to be a bit. It's got to be a bit. I asked her if she's having unprotected sex with any men currently. She said no, she's not. Well, you know what?

Wouldn't that be a bummer? Wait, what would be a bummer? This seems all positive energy. I think I'm saying like he was like, are you having unprotected sex? I would think that that would be what's exciting. The sex juices on the panty. She's like, yeah, I'm betting.

And he's like, I'm giving you $40. Well, hey, man, I'm a little bummed. And it's $30 with shipping. As we all know, shipping costs are pretty expensive. This lady's prices are $20, essentially. Now, hold on to think about it. As a woman, not wiping every time we make sissy, dangerous. That's how you get infections.

And what's the real lesson in all this? Front to back. The real lesson in all of this is that it appears that the woman is 19 and that's why she doesn't know better. That's so true. And that's who you need to target. If you want to take advantage of somebody and price gouge them, go for teens.

Teens. And he said US dollars, which lends me to believe that these might be foreign women. Believes me to believe. However, because he specifies US dollar. So maybe he went overseas to procure these panties. Is this like a Philippines tie? It's like snow.

Oh, boy. Here we go. He's so jazzed. Not much funk. Yeah. They're not from a 19-year-old, I guarantee you. My man works out. He's definitely in good shape.

I definitely see some stains here. OK. And then, oh yeah, and this was the opening part, right? That looks like where the bunghole was, right? Bungle. It's a bunghole. It's going to look like shit stains to me. Oh, how exciting.

He found his carcass here. So let's give it a whiff. No, please don't. Don't. Don't. Oh, that is pungent. I'm selling the shit part now. You can actually smell some shit.

That's exciting. Oh, my goodness. This is hot. This is giving me a boner right now. That is wild. That gives me a boner. Erection achieved. Erection fucking achieved, dude.

All right. Well, there's the review. I'm very satisfied with the pungent, nasty smell of these things. Shit mixed with piss, mixed with fucking teenage pussy juice. My goodness. My goodness. This is heaven, boys. It's heaven.

What a cool guy. Where's the cool guy club, ref? Is he the president and founder and CEO? Oh, my God. It's heaven. It's teenage pussy and shit. Yeah, that was pretty cool. I got to say, that was pretty cool.

That was a cool guy. Now, few things. It was fun. It was fun to go on that ride with him. Even if this is a bit, I really appreciate what he did. Imagine, so he's got to keep these panties. Isn't the girlfriend going to find them? Well, yeah.

I mean, also, like, if you were trying to keep something a real secret, like the way that this is presented, you wouldn't record it and then upload it, right? No. You've got to be real quiet. Does she not know you have a fucking video channel or YouTube? Like, you know. I'm sure it's. And he has to be employed somewhere.

Maybe not. You can actually smell some shit. Yeah. Now, would this be a deal breaker for you, Tom? If you found out that I secretly was into stinky male panties and I ordered them on the internet and I paid $30. It's just so strange. It's like, it's not even that I would be like, I can't believe you're doing that to me.

I'd be like, I think I want to throw up. Yeah. I'd just be like, the fuck is wrong with you? That's the thing is that I find this fetish to be like, what? OK. I mean, I'm not thrilled. I don't feel. I wouldn't feel threatened by it.

Correct. Yeah. No, I would just be like, I kind of feel bad for you, like, you know. And I might contribute to it and might be like, Merry Christmas, here's five dirty panties I found. Yeah. I might do this. I might be like, guess what?

I'm going to Venmo you $30 today so you can fucking get off. That's what I'm saying. Well, hold on now. So maybe. Shit mixed with piss mixed with fucking teenage pussy juice. So maybe in the in the world of fetishes, this is one of the most the easier ones to accommodate. Look, I would say if your partner is into this, you kind of lucked out.

Kind of. You kind of did. This lady in the other room, I get it that she's she could feel threatened. I think you actually just won. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You won.

One. It's one. You won it. Yeah. All those dummies out there saying it wrong. I got so many messages of support. I know. Well, yeah.

I mean, because we know how to speak English correctly. Yeah. Why are you shaking your head? We do. You say you got so many messages of support. How many messages of support did you could you? Thousands. Countless.

Can you count them on one hand? I can't. Countless. I can't even. I mean, I got some criticism. Like I got this email. Let me see. Are there.

Are there videos about this in here? No. Oh, yeah. Here it is. Okay. Yeah. So here we go. Here's an email that came in.

Hey, mommies. My queen's over 18. Okay. Jeans. The way Tom was mispronouncing the word one has been bothering me ever since I heard it. I couldn't tell if he was being deliberately silly for a bit or if he was really that talked.

Recently I was re-listening to episode 541 where he interviews his cousin Brian about McMillions and Brian says, Juan for one. Just like Tom does. I think the case has been solved. We can blame Charo and Aunt Blanca for this travesty. If you need me to solve any other cases, let me know, piss on me and beat me, ta ta, Kyra. So that's one that came in. And then another one here, Bionic Tim and Scrumphobic Christie.

You're both wrong on this one, guys. I'm sorry to say one is definitely pronounced the same as one. I'd let it go, but the fact you used your Peruvian mother's pronunciation as proof is too r-worded to ignore. I mean, sure. Let's use the only person who was first language isn't English as proof. That's true. Makes perfect sense.

The only reason you say it like that is that you've heard her say it wrong every time she wins a game of bridge. So it might be right. Don't be retarded. Retarded. Yeah. So it is, I won. I won.

I say won. Won. Won. Won. I know. I won. I mean, here's the thing that people are doing, right? They keep sending in words.

They keep sending, they're like, how would you say, S-O-N? And you're like... What does that spell? Go ahead. Sun. Sun. Right. So they're like, see?

And then I'm like, okay. How would you say, C-O-N? C-O-N. Con. Right. Not con. Right? That's true.

Right? Correct. Wait, spell these words and see if Nadab can figure them out. D-O-N. Don. F-O-N-D. Fond. Fond of someone.

Not fond of someone, right? Sure. Okay. J-O-N. John. Not John. Not John. How about M-O-N-O?

Mono. Not Mono? Not Mono. How about N-O-N? Non. I mean, yeah. Oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm not falling for your fucking Zionist agenda.

To infiltrate our minds and not let Palestinians live on the West Bank. First of all, I think we could all agree. I agree. First, it's the banks. We all know I'm anti-Zionist, guys. I don't think I'm probably a Zionist. I got another one for you, because people keep sending me words. What about S-O-N-I-C?

S-O-N-I-C. Yeah. Sonic. Oh. Yeah. But it's not Sonic. Not Sonic. Not Sonic.

I think everyone knows that English is the easiest language to learn that has no special rules involving tons of words. Do you know what the only thing that actually is the most annoying about this whole thing? It's not even being corrected and people being like, oh, you say this wrong. It's that it's 41 years later that I have said a word. I don't know. I feel like it has to be like 5,000 times. I know.

One time until our live show, did somebody go, hey, man, you're saying that all fucked up. I know. I feel dumber the older I get. I thought I knew stuff and then I'm like, I've been saying this shit wrong. I've been doing this forever. I've never. We have three more words that are confusing for lots of students.

But in America, in typical American pronunciation, it's very different for all of these. So here we have want. Want. Want. So let's just concentrate on the WA. Want. Very со district. Want.

Won't. Won't. Won't. Won't. Wa One. One. One.

One. One. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa... Wa... Are you retarded?

I think I'm fully talked. So this word, W-O-N, sounds the same as this. What the? The number one. Wow. So let's make a sentence. He won't want one. Okay?

And it's the same idea here. He won't want one. I am getting better at English now. Retarded. Okay. So. That's so counterintuitive. I mean, as most of our language is that W-O-N is the same as O-N-E.

Here's what's going to happen. Makes no sense. How do you... It's called a homophone. Right? Like flower and flower. Like people that are afraid of gay people. Yeah.

Which by the way, guess what they're called? Hmm. They're not called homophobic. They're called homophobic. Homophobic? Jesus. Here's what's going to happen. This is so jarring that I will remember how to say it, but probably like 20% of the time.

I know. So I'm going to say one a lot and then I'll be maybe on camera or something. You get it. And I'll be like, no, I won. I won. And also because of the... Nobody fucking... Nobody tells you.

Not one friend. And you guys like your family, your... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like not one friend. I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've run into like Joe Rogan and been like talking about fights and I'll be like, who won? And he didn't go, what? But does he say won or won?

I don't know. I don't know. I think it's because it's hard to... Like it's hard to pick up on. Oh. Because like a quick short word. It's very quick and like I was watching all these pre-tapes just QC it before we went to the live show.

It didn't pick up on me. And then he saw it and he's like, why is he saying won like that? I was like, what are you talking about? So he noticed. He noticed and then once someone else like it gets like picked up on, you can't unhear it. Wow. Yeah.

It was a really like... I didn't even get it at first when we were doing the show. I was like, what are you talking about? You seemed very upset. Well, I just thought... I thought you guys were fully talked. You know? Well, I agree Tom.

I'm a little upset. You know? Well, I agree Tom. I'm a little upset that I was saying ambidextrous. I mean, you corrected me. Competitive. You corrected me on that. Thankfully, but that's a whole lifetime sounding like an idiot retard.

And no one tells me. And then chewing gum. I was saying that for, you know. Sun visor. Sun visor. You also weren't drying off after showers. That was crazy. And that was 43 years of that.

I gotta tell you, that was very disturbing. I know. That was very... You want, let me tell you about yesterday. And then I was like, isn't it horrible to be... Horrible. ...wearing wet clothes when you went? And she was like, yeah.

I was like, why wouldn't you dry off? She was like, never thought about it. Such an asshole. And I still have to force myself to dry off. I force it. Wet socks you were wearing. This morning. Yeah.

Wet sometimes yoga pants. I would try to get into my Lulu Lemons wet. That was so stupid. So let me tell you about yesterday in Austin Airport. Yeah. Before I went to the Aero Puerto, I had some lovely Brussels sprouts. And a piece of fish. And it was greasy.

So I was a little concerned. And as I was going through security, I started to feel a little nauseous and sick. And that's how I know I got a brown. So I go to my friend. I go, listen, I, I got a shit. This is a level 10 emergency. It was that bad. It felt like, like, you know when you can tell it's just going to be water, like just brown

water. You can just, yeah. I mean, I've felt it quite a bit lately. Yeah. And I sat down in the airport and it was one of those machine gun, like where it's like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Like women don't sound like that very. I haven't made that sound ever.

Yeah. And I had to let it rip. And it was, it was cathartic when you shit that brown water out, like just water. I mean, I, I don't know if you were thinking this, but it had just occurred to me that you could probably make $30 really quick. Like really quickly if you. From yesterday's travel panties? Definitely.

If you go home and they're in the hamper, you should pull them out and put them in a Ziploc bag. And that's $30 in my pocket. And thanks for like sharing that story. Well, I was, I was fine a moment ago. Okay. But here's what I learned. So I traveled with my doctor friend, Dr. Jessica, shout out.

She listens to the show. She's a mommy. And I said to her, I'm going to shit. I was, I go, I'm really nervous cause there's no wash let and there's nothing grosser than a running dump. And then you keep mushing it and mushing it. And now she's a medical doctor. She says, why don't you spread your cheeks open and then sit down on the bowl.

And that's another Pajitski effect where I thought my whole life, I'm an idiot, 44 years of my life. I never thought spread your cheeks and then shit. And I have to say cleanup was 50% better because I took her advice. Yeah. So thank you, Dr. Jessica for that. About spreading. You've never tried the technique.

I have. I have. And it's very, it's very effective. How much would you say it improves the cleanup? Well, for someone like me with a big ass and a hairy ass and everything. Yeah, it's dramatically better. Do you hold it or you just spread it and then sit down and let the, to the, the toilet rim hold your butt in place.

Yeah. You just spread your cheeks as you go down. So your assholes wider, your cheeks are more apart than your asshole, really. And then like when you shit, you're not shitting onto your cheeks. Right. You're shitting into the toilet. Right. But me, I'm such a dummy for the last 44 years, I've been just shitting on my cheeks

and then going, ah, cleanup's hard. Well, yeah. Well, I'm glad we resolved all that. But I had two waves of brown water. Now listen to this. No, I'm good. There's more. So after that, I was so hungry because I was just emptied out so fast.

Guess what I ate after? Mexican food. I dared the brown travel guy. Why would you do that? I don't know. I thought to myself, you know what, I'm going to take a gamble and I was fine. I didn't have diarrhea again. It's weird when that happens.

When your body evacuates and then you go, here's some risky food and it's like, yeah, that's fine. Doesn't make any sense. There's some tandoori chicken before an internet flight. Doesn't make sense. Now that one time we had tacos and at the Atlanta airport and we flew to Africa. Yeah. And I sharded for the first time on an airplane.

Remember? On our way to Africa. I did remember that. Yeah. And thankfully I had a spare pair of undies. And who knows? Like I should have sold the dirty pair to that guy. You should have.

Ten years ago. Yeah. Had I known. Where were you? I'm going to tell you guys I was in Austin. Tejas. Tejas. Yes.

Mom's Den. Yep. And is a big announcement? Sure. Should we go ahead and let the cat out of the bag? Chips in a bowl? Chips in a bowl. Is it cats eating kibble?

Is it explosions? I don't think I even have it anymore. I was there. This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. I went there to prepare for the riots on the 20th when I didn't get it.

Great. I'm joining arms with my brothers. Oh good. We're going to fight the election. No. We purchased a home in Austin, Tejas and I went there to start preparing us for our move to Texas. Moving to Texas.

This is it you guys. So I think we will be here for a few more months. We'll move there. But the idea is also at least for a while to keep this space so we have the ability to come here and hopefully as things get better. Having guests here again. Los Angeles based guests who we work with a lot but also have an Austin place. That's right.

So yeah we're really excited. Honestly really excited about it. So excited. Tell me I'm a diehard Angelina but our city has gone through so much hell this year. It's really been horrendous isn't it. Gives me great sadness to leave my city of origin but I'm really excited for Austin. Me too. The people are lovely.

It's just been heaven to go. I'm excited for a change and I'm excited for like the adventure of like of a move. Like when you moved a lot you know as a kid and as an adult obviously less I mean moved within cities and stuff you know a few times but when you move like this it does feel like an adventure and I think it's kind of like living you know like that's life. Yeah it is. But yeah I'm very excited I just think it's a beautiful place and I think we're going to be really happy.

I think so too. I think it's really the time that I've spent there I've always enjoyed Austin I shot my last special there. I always had a great time in Austin met great people love the city and I think it's a great environment for kids you know like to grow up I mean it's going to be really fun. Yeah I mean like you don't want your kids growing up getting fake IDs and going to nightclubs in Hollywood at 14 like I did it was so funny when I was 15 people still think Hollywood means cool and like a showbiz you forget like I was on Pat McAfee show last week and I was

like yeah I used to play pick up games in Hollywood like basketball we're talking about my injury he was like oh that must have been like the like short people and you know like actors and I was like what like I was like oh yeah you don't know what Hollywood means Hollywood means dirt bags to people in Los Angeles it means gang bang grimey as shit like and people outside of here go like Hollywood means glitz and glamour like you don't know Hollywood no Hollywood is a fucking dump like and it has been it's not a new thing. Oh when I was a kid it was like it was skinheads gang bangers. It's the first place I lived it was the fucking diciest shit I've ever been in.

Now they've they made it nicer with Hollywood and Highland yeah I think it's back to shit now right. Yeah they tried to make it nicer they put a nice building in a shitty place and now it's shitty again. Well the homeless encampments are just out of control and the crime is out of control here. Hollywood is where you go for drugs prostitution you know it's it's it's a lot of like living by like stealing and breaking in the car.

If you live there now right how's it how's it going. I mean we have we have great taco stands over great. Also there's Hollywood like people understand to it. I'm not talking about like one block Hollywood is it's its own huge. Yeah it's a big there are parts of Hollywood that are obviously better than other parts but there are parts like where I lived that are not nice. You weren't like in Hollywood proper right. Central.

I was in proper. I was between Fountain and Santa Monica but when I lived there boom I mean I used I saw multiple celebrities well known people by heroin. Yeah that's where you go. I lived on it. I lived on a track so it was just and it's a transsexual prostitution track so that's I mean I would see we would sit on our balcony and you know watch things take place. Yeah.

Robberies we saw multiple robberies. Of course of course. One time when I was when I was moving out of an apartment these two vatos came into our apartment. What. Yeah. Just like to check you out. What's up homie.

Shaved heads tattoos and they were like what's up doc. And we were like we're packing up our shit. We were like what's up when they're like what's up with you. And we were like what are you doing in our apartment. Yeah. Oh it's real. Yeah. I when I was hit and runs.

Yeah. Make it a lot of nudity. A lot of nudity. And then the the once in a while you'll see a coyote. Also just running down. Trot trotting down the street. What the fuck. From the house.

People are like how glamorous is Hollywood. You're like I don't think you know what you're talking about. Well in the 90s crack was really popular and I had a fake ID at 15 so I could get into the clubs down in Hollywood and Highland like in the shit and we would walk past people smoking crack rocks and then you pay like a homeless guy to watch your car so that it didn't get broken into and then you would go to the night club. Yeah. And that was when I was 15 years old.

I mean what a fucking nightmare. It's not good. Yeah. It's getting get white works. You live there for a while. Yeah. Are you excited to move out of there. I'm so excited.

Yeah. To move out of my neighborhood. Like it's every New Year's I was afraid to just always leave because you weren't sure what were fireworks what were gunshots. I remember I mean I remember one time I was taking the subway to go meet up with some of my friends at a party and this homeless lady just says you're going to beat the shit out of a woman. I was like I don't know what you're saying.

And then she started chasing me and I was like OK that's kind of funny and then she's getting real close and she's not slowing down and then I just start sprinting. Yeah. And laughing. And I don't like that's just living in Hollywood. But that's the Hollywood is the best Hollywood's wild. That's what it is. And it's you know there's a time for that in your life and then there's a time really

I'd really like to get out. I'd like to stop the mayhem. The most fun you never want to have again. Yeah. Exactly. I remember when we lived in the rampart too and those gunshots you're right. There's that fun game around 4th July and New Year's Eve. Are those gunshots or fireworks or both.

Yeah. Well the truth is that it's usually both. On those days it's usually both. Yeah. And then one of our last days there there was a riot in the rampart division. Oh that's right. A man who was drunk had crossed the street with a knife 6th street with a with a knife. It's very El Salvadorian neighborhood and he was El Salvadorian.

He was drunk. He's wielding a knife and police shot him 13 times right. So then there was like riots in the neighborhood everything was overturned and I went on the roof of our building like two days later and just on the block that we lived on there there were nine or 10 LAPD choppers because you know usually there was one every night they would and they would shine the light in our apartment every night like what the fuck is this every night you'd get a light from the chopper but when you see 10 hovering in one like you know block radius it you're just like this feels like the end of times right

here. Well and I went back to our old neighborhood in Silver Lake last week I took Skeetal to see where we met and where we used to live and it is it is horrible now it's a homeless encampment and Echo Park they re gentrified that whole beautiful park with the waterfall other and it's it's a homeless encampment it's really sad the city is like city is destroyed I mean the city is really falling apart and so is the state to be honest yeah the state is kind of falling apart here's something though that's really uplifting and this might be my favorite thing that you guys ever found which is that the go big show is on TBS I

believe it's hosted by our good friend and my best friend Bert Kreischer it's got a snoop dog and so during a wrestling show the commentators are promoting go big show and check this out Snoop and Cody Rhodes a part of go big show set your DVRs now to watch Snoop Rosario Dawson and then then the guy corrects him that did lift my spirits thank you isn't that great that was great Bruce I never heard Bruce Kirschner oh my Bruce Kreischer that's a new one Kreischer I mean you got to change the two bears intro for that yeah Tom Seguran Bert Kirschner Bruce Kreischer Bruce is Bruce just when you hear the word Bruce don't you just think it's automatically yeah don't you

automatically think that Bruce is a gay name of course right yes like you just have to be gay if your name Bruce oh yeah Bruce Kreischer wait play that drop again of him saying that that's my favorite shit Bert Bert Kirscher he is it weirdly checked out enough where he might not know about that which is so fun you know Bruce Bruce Kirscher yeah how do people mess up his name so much it's not that crazy it's not that crazy because you know but I think seeing the E I C H E you know the German spelling yeah it just intimidates people they just really crowdy I mean I've told you I've been on the I mean my last name is phonetic yeah and I've had people be like hi mr like customer service hi mr I'm like what you're like I don't even know how to say it I'm like it's

right it's nothing and what makes me so crazy is that like half our country is I mean there's so many Latin people here how do you not know that's a Latin I mean you have to be in such a class yours is super intense well I I hey and I never and that was smart of you to go to pee oh yeah Christina P who the fuck can say my last yeah and it's like nobody wants you know what like somebody sees that last thing they're like you know what I don't even get involved with this person I don't blame that that's what I if I see like K. R. Y. Z. I'm like I don't even want to know this person well even what's his name Krasinski the uh yeah I'm like wow that's pretty crazy he kept that he kept it I mean everybody in sports everybody knows Mike Shosheski yeah but like that's a horrible horrible it's

terrible and you only know how to pronounce because he's so famous yeah like they say it so many times you're like okay yeah I get how to say it but I wish he would be like yeah I'm just well they call it coach K. Court say that's what they call it coach K. Court and uh and Duke yeah it's silly it's it's punishing to do that to people it is we should YouTube I am a philosophical intellectual I consider myself a genius uh also I'm a formal journalist but as of right now I am a philosophy philosophical intellectual genius and also this here it's my stuffy buddy there the tiger I'm a demi boy which means my gender is halfway between a gender and cis male so my pronouns you can either call me he he him that's fine you can also do the they them that's also fine and for my buddy here

Terry the tiger Terry the tiger is a gender I'm not going to sign the gender to my stuffy buddy I prefer with pronouns as far as Terry the tiger goes use Z Zim Z Zair the the Z pronouns as I call them yeah anyway uh welcome to my channel awesome intro I also feel like anytime that somebody is like I'm a demi person and and that's all you hear you're for you're not sticking around for the rest of their sense when they say have you met my stuffy buddy and you're like oh oh okay yeah no I haven't yet I'm a demigorgan I'm a demigorgan you're like I gotta go they're like don't you want to meet my stuffy buddy yeah well isn't it just nonsense when you when you hear this yeah this is such nonsense and I can't wait for like a decade

from now where we just laugh at this shit yeah like what the tiger is a gender he's a gender yeah he's just age yeah yeah yeah does he do you think there's a whole cut in the tiger I don't know and he puts his penis inside of it good lord and fills it up with that hot white cream but he is demigorgan so that's between cisgender male and a asexual male what if our sons turn out like this what would you do if one of your kids is doing this I mean it's sad you know you cut them out of the will and you just go I love you but you know you're on your own now we're taking a psychiatrist right of course ASAP this guy's severely mentally ill I mean why is he wearing a mask for his philosophically genius you know I never understood

that like when you're making a video in your own home you don't need to wear a mask where are you getting it from the air conditioning you're fine you're not protecting the viewers don't worry your stuffy buddy is going to give it to you you're fine yeah put a mask on the tiger asshole this guy I could see wearing a mask I want everybody to know what I have I know you'll delete this video because you're jealous the youtube instructor managers will delete it I have in my ass tooth aches headaches migraines shotgun blast those are all in his ass all in his ass cut slices no irritated nose hurt your drum when you have a cold sore and it hurts really bad I hate that or if you have acne and it hurts yeah I have all that in my ass how do you have it

all in your and guess what I have a dildo coming in the mail I've been using toilet paper shoved up but guess what what the dildo is coming oh wow for adults to listen to oh you should have said that at the beginning yeah you should need to tell your queens above 18 at the top yeah you can't reach out in the middle of the video yeah what if my kid was watching this video jeez everything I said was not bad I'm just telling you what I have you have everything you don't have the she mails don't have it oh melanchol does melanchol get it through your thick skull stupid coward well you know what the fucking fun thing is I just realized here this is a message to one person oh melanchol this is a this is like an actual it's one of those

things where it's like get it through your head he's telling one person it's a retaliation it's a retaliation you know how you used to have everything in your ass everything's in my ass now I have all that in my ass right so what's the first brag this is a humble brag right so what's the first guy's video I don't know no man I got coming yeah he's like I got so much shit in my butt he's like I got shit in my butt bro yeah and I got a dildo coming I'm gonna put that dildo so is the debate I'm just trying to wrap my head around this yeah the debate is I've got more stuff in my butt than you yeah yeah yeah this is like I think it's an old roommate who used to keep all kinds of things in his ass and this guy got jealous and then he goes guess what motherfucker

melanchol guess whose ass is full now I have a dildo coming in the mail yeah so he's like I could put all this stuff in my butt yeah good for you um yeah good for you do you ever have a cold sore in your butt I don't think I've had a cold sore in my butt hmm those are painful yeah how do you get a job here to fuck face uh I guess who's feathering it people all over the world yeah Russia put some alcohol it's my tribe feather it you lean your head over and then you feather it with your partner next to him right uh oh and then whoa that really picked up oh he's still feathering it

yeah you know what Sasha forgot there is that he put a lot of product in his hair before he went out you're right that gel is inflammatory that would be a really good ymh team building you know I mean I don't even know if Chris can participate anymore but hey can we talk about Chris for him yeah he's a really good guy no I mean did you notice his new swag he's not like his big dick energy haircut he's got his MacGyver jacket on it's like DDE man yeah he's Chris is what happened Chris you got some swag going oh we took a break that's what happened I got some time off and did you donate your hair I did donate my hair look at you man best you're the best really nice and did you get 30 bucks

for it is somebody smelling it right now pubes too no it's not a donation if you get paid for it but I mean somebody was like I'm gonna jerk off to this hair I mean probably okay some poor cancer kitted oh Jesus Christ you think we're dark yeah Chris is like I have some cancer kids jerk well that's very nice of you now that you did that let me ask you Chris because I I just I'm so impressed with your whole new vibe your whole new energy are you chatting with ladies on the internet uh yeah I'm still chatting with ladies still trying to find the one that's so exciting guess what what she's in Texas dog let's hope hook them that's so so you're on the Instagram yeah what's your handle

any time you're giving out his handle I don't know in case anybody watching is interested in Chris Larsen you could find him at what is it c r i s underscore hashtag hashtag what is it yeah what is it it's at c double e underscore l a r s c lars c double e yeah l a r s yeah okay I just want to get your box lapped up by c l over here send him a message I think Chris is a picture of your stinky box mail him your mail him your underwear after three days of farting and uh you know well I think Chris Larsen is such a great guy and I just want to see him find a nice girl maybe maybe a few not so nice girls in the beginning yeah he's got to just you know bus nuts well he's got to figure out like that's not a nice lady but he's got to figure it out you know and then but I want you to find

your wife uh through your dms Jesus it's a big ass it's a lot of pressure I'm so I'm so excited about this new Chris Larsen I love it it's great yeah um all right I got some for I got something to watch here okay yeah this is a horrible or hilarious all right we decide here we go I haven't seen it looks like there's a clock tower and there's a crane that's bringing a clock holy shit so I don't think anybody was hurt so I'm gonna give it a hilarious it's a fun new lane of horrible or hilarious where no one gets hurt or dies but it looked like the clock dropped on the man on the platform at first right but he's okay he's okay he's fine he's fine I like stuff dropping from high places that looks like that weighs a lot that's a major fuck up I mean that's expensive

shit yeah they're using a crane it's bad and it's like hey bring it down Jimmy oh oh yeah it looks like it does hit the guy yeah oh look at that oh that's it bro we're gonna need another one all right here's another horrible or hilarious ready oh just the label here makes me feel like this could be bad somebody's getting into an elevator somebody oh no oh it's really drunk someone's gonna barb there oh oh shut the fuck can happen oh my god it's gotta be in Russia or something for it's Asia yeah holy shit so yeah if you're listening man you got you're gonna want to see this one so these guys are drunk as fuck and the elevator closes so they lean towards the second elevator and when

they fall on the elevator doors they fall through the exterior doors and there's no elevator there oh my god they fall through the into the elevator shaft and they're just I don't know they're just what is this like a decoy elevator like a facade I don't know they pulled them out there's one guy there's the other guy what they're fine my guess is I don't know Macau Macau that was awesome yeah it's cool this way no one would be like hey you know those guys they're no longer with it they're fine yeah I like this new lane I don't like people getting severely injured anymore I used to a little bit I don't anymore I wonder why so your boy uh the king yeah people are loving his story you know his um

his videos legacy saga if you will of the king yeah um it's been growing people are just intrigued by him you know yeah he's a very um charismatic enigmatic inspiring guy he really is there's just a lot to him that people uh I don't know they just they all they feel like he is the man I'm drawn to him yeah you know I don't want to go on a date though I feel like I'm married good morning my queen above 18 yes it's time to wake up yeah come on yes you are my queen right this is has inspired people so much so that I can't oh boy they've sent in their own hold on I'm so excited here is uh Ben okay hello my queen above 18 it's almost one o'clock in the afternoon which means you're getting off work soon I hope you're gonna get a hot dinner when you get home

you deserve a bubble bath okay my queen have a beautiful day I love the headset fantastic really nice to add the headset and his enunciation he got the mouth movements just down perfectly that was a great impression that was really good Ben this is Mary good morning my queen above 18 wake up come on time to get up it's time to go get some breakfast coffee's on breakfast is on what yes yes dinner with you was absolutely wonderful last night I just hope Tom is taking care of you like he said he would you know it's hard to do the things that I could do to you with with one arm you know one leg anyway I gotta go my queen above 18 buy a hoodie buy a t-shirt

buy my queen above 18 have a lovely day go to Venmo go to PayPal write me an address give me your social security number all right my queen above 18 have a lovely day my queen above 18 can I tell you it was great Mary can I tell you when I know that something is like has legs and like pops on on any of our shows is when women getting yes you're right like my injury I know is viral because women comment and they're like damn you got fucked like they like once women get involved with the comments then you know that something that is so true we don't like to get into the the action yeah yeah like really resonates I mean I have women making like the meanest means like I'm like this is a lady yeah because usually it's guys

you know guys and guys are the ones that I mean that usually comment that critique you that like all that comes from men but when it breaks into women for our show in our world it's like it's that's the yeah Heather Fakes it Heather Fakes and on Instagram she does great stuff she does some savage yeah yeah she does great this chick by the way let me tell you what I really like about her she did the drawn out long repetitive nature of it she got the background perfectly I mean I think this is like identical to what the king has right yeah well definitely hovering over right yeah and yeah she just nailed it and she had yeah she had good good points and like did great I don't know if he can do what I can only got one arm that's great that's great who do we have here this is

Razvan okay time to wake up my queen come on my queen above 18 open them beautiful eyes there you go he's doing it you are so beautiful I just love my queen above 18 well good morning all right my queen I'll go down and put your breakfast on I'll get you some nice hot cup of coffee you go take your shower and I'll meet you in the kitchen I love you too my queen above 18 I will see you in a little bit oh man yes you look beautiful this is another one you gotta see right I'll talk to you a little bit wow that's really good he did a duet so the screen is split if you're listening as the king gives his speech this young man was just smitten with it just rolled around in his blanket

just so happy and he's shirtless too yes it's just brilliant that was really um here's another one this is really funny a king pov from James ready yeah good morning my queens above 18 I have a bone to pick with you liberals out there who keep calling the king creepy I don't understand what it is about my videos you could possibly find creepy I'm just trying to get legal consenting queens above the age of 18 to send me videos privately and you keep harassing me grow up that's very good that was very good James and I love the um the person who smothered and suffering in the background that was a really nice touch the queen above 18 behind him um do you know who made that video can you tell me who made the uh the curb video the um the one that I

sent you from the uh one second one second yeah yeah so those are really great thank you for sending them in keep sending those in you know by the way so did you get a lot of compliments you know how the queen loves your videos your your queen above 18 oh listen it was a crowd pleaser the mommies really took to it I got a lot of people what about in public you know you walk around people were like hey that's a really nice sweatshirt well they're like she has a really high opinion of herself to call herself a queen and good morning people like that I said good morning with my sleeve and stuff like that it was really nice yeah like Amazon smile and I'm gonna start wearing the sweatpants so it's going to be a complete outfit complete outfit yeah yeah

okay so you don't like watching my injury but this one was really funny Frankie at Polito at Frankie IPP uh I just saw this on Twitter and we had to like mute part of it for the youtube part so if you want to see it the way that it's made that he made it you got to go to my twitter and you can see uh or his twitter um to see it but here's a look he went and found this he said he remembered this and I I didn't even remember this so it made me laugh but you're gonna see the injury too okay all right so when you wish you could switch places with for a day I don't know I mean when you love to be able to dunk just anyone that can dunk so it got muted because he uh he threw the curb music in there so but that was really funny

that was super funny he goes very funny but what I like best was his laugh yeah he's like he's like what don't do that to him I think how's he doing he goes tell me what you're seeing you look really handsome on that Larry King that was a pretty handsome that was a handsome day I know the jacket the color was really good on you really that blue really popped make sure eyes come out nicely I like that yeah oh they um you know how he never he never how do you get a job here your fuck face stops contributing touch my camera through the fence you faggot I mean I have to say for somebody who's passed away they contribute he's contributed more to our show than anybody he's amazing he's amazing um so fed smoker fed smoker apparently

stopped into a newspaper's off like the office of a no a small town newspaper and was like hey he had something to say to them I've never seen this I just saw the little blurb here about it how does he find I thought you said he wasn't here and stuff like that he doesn't look very busy in there well it looks like you just oh hi hi Steve thanks for doing brother and thanks to me God bless you I'm Stephen Woody I'm gonna be your son I'm a retired CI double agent for the Nebraska State patrol Jesus the fact that he consistently says CI double agent is so amazing well and just CI double agent I'm a central intelligence double agent how does he even come up with that shit and then he says Nebraska State Patrol completely different completely

different thing well he's a man I was a police officer I mean I was an agent for national intelligence he's everywhere but hold on I mean how does he pick these battles what could have possibly prompted he's out of his mind he's just always into bullshit yeah yeah your your meth is just getting you going oh so he's just yeah he's just always ready to go you know and if you don't have a place to clean or a job to deal you're just like I'm gonna stop by this newspaper I feel like I have a story I've been taking cops down for a long time on my own for 17 years and I've done so many of them up that a real conspiracy of cops have arranged for a serious weird people to attack my car as you see it out there all smashed up no one's taken this story

rather for a long time and I was thinking that maybe you guys will be honest and at least lay something down in case I do get killed I'm not interested wow just how are you just dismiss a retired CI double agent with Nebraska State Patrol with a story like that you're just gonna be like I'm not interested in the most compelling story I've heard he didn't even want to see if the facts were true or not didn't want any information yeah how do you turn down a story like that's that guy has the same energy as the guy at the car dealership that didn't want to sponsor Connell to drive across the country I know I know just not interested you know many papers you could sell on this story that story would be on fire man upsetting you wouldn't print nothing no

what if they killed me would you say well tell that guy I don't know you don't know okay well I'm I'm a human being in America am I do I matter at all with it I I'm just not interested okay okay well who would I maybe get that to in case they do kill me would you if I kill me would you be interested I can't tell you that that's a that's a hack would you say yeah that guy was sitting right off as he said they were gonna kill him it's a good point Connell made it's a good counterpoint like would you be interested at all if I died you know what I think it's all back to Trump's business where buddy the law is bought off okay and the news is bought off too who pays you off hmm won't you get out okay nobody pays me nobody pays you off you just free

I'm free you're free okay have a nice day good see you he's such a dick he's the guy it's so annoying the newspaper guy yeah god that guy's such a dick to Connell yeah oh Peterson Connell Peterson you can call the Nebraska State Patrol Colin Connell see you in ALD E Peterson Peterson I'm sorry if I made you angry or did I make you angry at all no I'm sorry yeah I'm a reporter myself Steve Woody okay okay all right thank you thank you I report everybody okay okay okay the name's Connell see you in ALD Peterson okay got it okay who do you know you're gonna stand my way oh nobody take it easy you just stamped the whole crew cuckucker you just stamped the whole crew everybody got the baby raper stamped damn wow wow

how scared would you be I'm a retired CI double agent for the Nebraska State Patrol how scared would you be if that guy came into your office and said that crazy shit to you yeah see what happens is that guy now the other guy the newspaper guy is like fuck this guy has been in here knows who's here is unstable is threatening now what and yeah and exactly so now he's like so we're gonna be hiring armed security I know I know all Connell really does is entertain and ruin people's lives annoying yeah he's just so annoying annoying yeah the real crime of he's like you know he's like a terrorist yes you know like like a terrorist like their ultimate goal of terrorism isn't just the the moment let's say that the bomb goes off it's that it that it disrupts

the way you live your life after it goes off it's in your head forever yeah like I don't know if I can go socialize yeah I can go down a time square all right you know I mean like yes it's that it it does disrupts the way you want to live your life and that's what Connell Peterson did to people thrives on well he was basically a essentially a nonviolent terrorist like a terrorist of annoyance do you remember when we had his first enemy like his sworn enemy on yeah and I remember early on the guy was like yeah he's such a fucking asshole like he was just yeah he was basically saying telling us this like the guy was just such an annoying piece of shit he was so annoying he's so annoying yeah and and he's endlessly amusing he says funny shit and wild shit

but yeah like the gas station just pulling up and being like such a dick just following people because he thinks he's an agent yeah the Asian lady remember when we was in twang twang yeah like what the fuck is that god leave us alone white chariots everywhere we saw a white chariot today we did see a white chariot today they're everywhere once you see one you see them everywhere I know you know the government's putting them out there for sure they're putting them out there for you to notice and January 20th there's gonna be a bunch of white chariots in Washington DC y'all can come with us yeah I gotta go piss real quick okay took a pee break I always do you always do but we also stopped to

uh to watch we actually watched Tristan Jast just uploaded his injury video from that day so the day that I got injured I was playing we played 2v1 Bert and I versus Tristan then we were going to do one on one but before that we did the dunk which resulted in the injury so Tristan's video he's he's it's very sweet he's actually very a heartfelt good kid you know he's and he does check on me all the time he texts me all the time he does he seemed genuinely stunned the footage of him watching you get injured was so it was you know what's another like a real marker of um uh how how like nice people are I get followed up by not just friends but people I've met in the last month like people I've worked with uh people from hospitals you

know rehab people like they check on you people like Tristan I'm saying who I just met and they every like week or so they're like how are you doing how's recovery that's nice isn't it it really is it makes you feel like people really care it's very it's very sweet you know what I liked is that in the video when you got injured you go call 911 and then call my wife let her know I love you sweet yeah I knew that I knew that we had to let you know because you'd be like are you coming home not really not soon not for another month yeah Jesus Christ seen a month and nothing could segue better out of that than this let's see here I'm terrified that's pretty cool to see on the train uh if you're listening there's a a young man on the train

who is fully licking a dirty boot like a a horse riding boot and someone's recording the guy looks really young I mean he looks like he like 1920 I don't know 21 please tell me this is a New York subway I don't know where it is it doesn't look like a New York subway I want New York to take credit for this because this is pretty outstanding it doesn't look like a New York subway um and that boot seems really dirty I mean it seems like something that Norm Summerton would do you know yeah I was instructed by my mistress maybe that's what this is I will say again of all fetishes this one's probably the one of the easier ones to accommodate it's pretty harmless you can do it yourself you would wear your boots out on a nice muddy rainy day and now you've got a nice snack

for your subway right home I don't think anything upsets me more though than a dirty shoe like the idea that I would do the dirty shoes very upsetting yeah because I know that you walked on like in this case you know mud dirt just filth grimy piss just anything that's on the ground is on a boot it's just it's horrible it's so upsetting I'd rather smell the fart panties I'd rather well I don't know about that that's a good question so would you rather lick the boots or smell the fart and vagina smell smell the fart I it's a tough one he is really by the way he's not like kind like you know he's not going like yeah licking on it he is fully devouring eating the muddy boot the dirt yeah now I mean I don't think I wonder if it's like and it is like he just found it

he's like oh there's a boot here take this on the ride kind of eat it up but that's like I said it's nice that he has a little snack for his ride it is nice it is and it's easy to come by it's free here's the other part that pisses me off about this don't you want to jerk off right while you're doing this and now you can't that's a good point how frustrating for him so upsetting you know I mean no what do you mean well like this obviously excites him this is a rousing in a in a big way to the point where like he can't not devour the boot so I'm assuming he's really ready to bust a load right and now he's like oh I gotta know how do you know this is sexual yeah see what well there's there's a thing called pica could you look that up yeah I think it's pica it's where people like to

eat dirt or eat plaster inanimate objects they shouldn't hmm yeah pica is an eating disorder in which a person eats things not usually considered food young kids often put non-food items like grass or toys in their mouths because they're curious about the world around them but kids with pica go beyond that sometimes they eat things that can lead to health problems cool this isn't just children I believe adults can have yeah I'm gonna go with this is definitely a sexual thing okay okay I don't think that he's just like mud tastes good yeah I think his dicks rock hard right now and then that's so odd to do it in public like he he's so excited he can't you don't think his dicks hard no man I think this is equivalent to like cracking a knuckle or

something you know I think this is more that I think it's more like it he really likes the taste he's mentally ill what I don't think this is a dick thing you guys are both fully talked if you don't realize that this is a dick thing what are you talking about um I don't see the look of ecstasy I see more satisfaction of like that tastes mmm that's so good you guys are so off the other guy it's almost like you're one hold on the other guy with the panty snips was an ecstasy yeah that was a bit he was performing he was performing this is real this to me seems like he's hungry and he really is being satiated by the dirt beyond silly yeah his dick is rock hard this is what gets him off the fact that you guys don't see it lets me know that you're I just don't what are you shaking your

head at I just I does this doesn't feel sexual to me doesn't feel so yeah because it's not sexual to you but it is to him all no all of his clothes are on well yeah he's on the subway I know that's what I'm talking about how frustrating it must be to be this rock hard and you can't check your dick so he has enough restraint to not touch himself but not enough restraint to not eat the dirt off the boot hold on a second I don't want to talk to you anymore Chris do you think this is a sexual thing for this man I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else on this time I don't think it's sexual I mean we've seen a chick eat plaster we didn't think that was sexual like this is just like her his version of eating plaster see and Zolo agrees with you it's like pony play yeah

because Zolo's not a fucking moron oh so please well let's have I'm sure there are psychologists who watch this show sex therapists if but tell us what it is if you're a professional can't believe you don't think this guy you know it's not a dick thing it's not a dick thing it is it's not even debatable this is a hundred percent norm summerton lane yes it seems so young to be this kink yeah it's usually older perverts that are kink bent and right into fulfilling sure he's not all of these young okay so I guess his dick doesn't work I just don't see young guys doing this kink you don't know you're talking about you I'm gonna go 2000 2001 he lost his tooth oh no that happened to me it did that's my fear I'm worried that the other tooth is gonna fall out soon that was pretty cool

Louis Gomert Gomert I'm not sure how to say he didn't stop talking since 2000 2000 did he just swallow it he may have maybe just put it in his lip you know like a dip here's like a cute there I acknowledge it I would acknowledge sorry my tooth just followed yeah I'd be like whoops my tooth fell out guys yeah wow wow that was cool yeah thanks for sharing you got a lot of good vids there they didn't really came through this week yeah it's good stuff yeah this is a pretty cool guy that I saw online I sent this in is that you yeah it's me check out my body it's pretty similar great thanks I love it great right here Ronald J dodge son of god right here Ronald

J dodge it's awesome yeah just riding down a busy street completely naked on your scooter on your rascal that's like a mobility scooter yeah I'm getting one of those I think you should a lot of NBA players use them guys in a rascal yeah oh man isn't that great the world is great he's like son of god he's like happy with himself yeah I guess it's not illegal wherever he is um oh I had a great I got to see a confrontation or here I know we saw it on your story it was so exciting I don't know if it's still in my stories or not because it may have just expired but man this was so great I decided I was gonna go and um let's see oh oh it might be in the

older one yeah it's after this it's before no you might get there and then crank the volume up here he goes here it is go to the beginning here go to the beginning I this was so fun okay how do you go back on stories just go just they're yelling at a guy it's about to leave the house this lady was yelling at this dude he is like Russian accent you know okay so he's a big professional can I tell you something rock hard right now rock hard dick yeah this is your bootlicking yeah you're eating your dirt right now

this is one of the best experiences in my life yeah it's so ridiculous you're so sick he just said bye she's taking a picture of the license plate it's right outside our house too it was great okay so so if you're wondering like this this is what I was able to put together it wasn't an actual it was right outside the house but it wasn't an actual neighbor what happened at least what I assume happened what I put together is that somebody had some type of car issue and happened to be pulled over right in front of our house so I was actually getting in

the car and I was I rarely I don't really do stories that often but I was like I'm gonna go get a coffee with my brace on my hand and my leg and I'll just I'll just I'll just share a crippled adventure you know yeah so because it's a whole ordeal for me to like get in the car I got swing this leg I was like yeah you know as I'm getting in the car I hear like well why don't you put it on the thing I was like what the fuck so that's where that video start I was literally you did a black guy voice but that guy was Russian the Russian but the lady was she's black lady yes damn so what happened was I start hearing that and I get so excited I mean literally sexually around straight at the confrontation and I start listening and so what happened was she's like

you're not being professional and he was like I am professional and she goes no you're not and he's like all I told you is that I don't take cards and you're upset and she's like no you could and then she's like well put it the way you found it and he's like I go now and she was like leave and then she was like take a picture of his license plate and she was really really upset and so when I finally pulled out I looked and it was like yeah she was in this vehicle and I don't know what he was fixing but according to like what I heard him say the dispute was over the fact that he doesn't take cards he wanted cash and she was like you're totally unprofessional you know what's so funny about this whole thing is that I was on the airplane

coming home and I rarely look at your stories yeah I do a lot of reposting yeah I just I just not I don't really look at people's stuff too much I looked at your stories and I didn't have the audio on and I just saw the expression on your face and it was like like you were lit up yeah so much licking that boot just yeah yeah it was like you were sniffing those three-day panties you found the chocolate stain she definitely went for a run in these yeah and I'm like he's never this happy I mean not even when we took our four-year-old son to Disneyland for the first time he was that happy he was as happy as I was listening like you're never this happy around us ever ever not even at your best like not even doing stand-up when that's your happiest

yeah but not even that like that for you I don't know that it's like titillation in hearing other people fight and the drama and goss you love the hot and I found I found some brothers in arms because I got a lot of people messaging me from those stories a lot and a few people were like I'm as excited as you I was a lot of latin people told me that they were excited I noticed yes a lot of latin people were like soy soy what like telling me like I'm the same I love this kind of shit and then some people were being like why are you so happy yeah because truthfully because I like I grew up in an apartment complex where people yelled at each other every now and then like that and it's terrifying when you're a little kid and you hear people being like a pop man

or in other languages so I think when I hear that I'm like uh-oh I don't like that like I don't want to be near that you go I'm gonna go and find it I'm gonna get as close as I can to it and then I'm gonna report on it yeah I was excited you love it love it love it you are so funny with that I just I do I love I don't want to like I didn't want an actual like fight harm to take place but a confrontation you know like an actual verbal confrontation I mean that is so exciting I love being out in public and hearing a verbal onto the altercation are you are you ever afraid that it might get turned on you because sometimes when those nutbags are yelling at each other and they see that you're watching they will be like fuck are you looking at and then you're like because there

but there's a there's a skill set that I've developed okay to uh okay to watching without looking like I'm watching you know it's a whole it's a whole routine oh yeah everything okay yeah you know when he turns you could probably hit him because I really excited you learned that lesson early when you're watching people fight like especially on the subway or whatever like you don't you don't look directly right no you got to do it you got to be a little slick about like if you hear people starting to argue you should side eye him yeah look for a position where you can look but it's not so blatant you know like a crowded area is great to watch an altercation you can kind of blend in you know yeah if it's not a crowded area you do want some

distance though you don't want to be like right there you know yeah I mean the only other type of altercation like that would be like people you know that's not as fun you know that's not as fun no you want to be strangers where you're not emotionally tied to one but feels like there's a story there yeah you know the best one I ever heard was a couple houses back and it was our neighbors remember the two ladies yeah and were you there for that I was there for a number of them because they so there was a lesbian couple yeah that they used to really fight oh boy really fight and and say horrible things and we lived in the type of neighborhood where extremely close your neighbors are like eight feet away and a lot of open windows summertime

man they would say brutal brutal she was like I'm gonna buy you a plane ticket and send you home tomorrow did you fucking hit me you fucking hit me crazy shit and beat each other up in the same area another neighbor who really didn't like his ex that's the sad thing about the whole ex situation is when it's like he was like I think we're gonna race this fucking pussy like I was like oh my god talking about his kid and I was like dude see now that I like when it's a phone conversation and it's one-sided and like you can you can make out one side you imagine you write the other lines yes yes a phone like a big phone performance can be fun yeah I wasn't let me tell you something right now yeah when I was in the airport yesterday there was a girl

you know those girls that people I do believe it's an affect where they talk with their bottom lip down and she was like I mean whatever like he's not there spiritually or and I'm not gonna wait for him because I'm worth it and I'm too good for like you can just hear her spiraling and you're like you're just such a horrible person you're gonna die alone because she was so shitty she's like oh I mean it's such a fucking dumb broad move yeah to be like I'm special oh boy worth it and like you know if you need to say it out loud oh boy worth it well definitely it was definitely one of those girls who was like you know and it's I deserve well I can't find the right person just because my standards are too high or the woman who's like he's intimidated by my success no how

funny I am no you're like okay never yeah he's intimidated by me and you know what no here's what he is he doesn't really like you no you're annoying and like nobody's as good as my dad that's the problem go fucking blow your dad if you love your dad so much it looks like your dad's dick yeah so so Dr. Jessica Dr. Jess and I were listening to this woman and I wanted to see her so we traded places so that I could sit and see that you did the same thing as me and you're acting like I don't even like this kind of stuff I agree I agree that is exactly the same type of thing I agree I agree it's the fun of watching people yeah who are not well you're right you got me when someone's struggling with something and be like I want to watch this yeah you got me

you're right I'm I'm a piece of shit it's also it's also not that different than watching me break my arm it's not that different it's like you're just what you're just watching a different type of destruction to a human being it's a physical there there are so many memes about you getting injured I know I can't open my phone I know I'm like do these people like us I'm not even sure if people really like us here's the thing it went beyond it went it went beyond our world the the injury memes oh my gosh there are people who I think do like us who make it even our fans I'm like this prolific memes like us anymore is Dr. Clavacus Mr. Clavacus a fan yeah well this is brutal I think they're going for the comedy of it I really do but it also went

outside of of like the the kind of podcast comedy world that we're you know in orbit of and um then when it goes beyond it you can tell because it's like people like you know they don't they don't know who it is they're just like look at this dude eat shit like you know it became his own thing and like where I'm at Tom here's the thing is that personally doing yoga I want to marry by Bass Froth and he doesn't feel like he's by Bass Froth and I'm not waiting for that you know what I mean yeah don't wait then go fuck your dad I'm gonna date a Demi Gorgon whose pronoun is Zimzay that is so that's a weird one it's gotta be tough when you raise girls for like if you're if you're the dad to be like you want to raise like a obviously a well-rounded

complete you know um human being but like there's a there's a way like you see when the when the girl is like that is sad that is that I always saw that I was special you're not I mean you're special because you're a human being but like you're not special special you know I know and that's that's gonna be what holds you back like we saw that on that fucking awesome dating show the uh the Indian dating show and there was the girl here in America who was like nobody's good enough that's the girl that's the girl at the airport yesterday was the worst they're the worst because here's the thing she just has a she's just super insecure and scared yeah and she puts out this I'm too good for people yeah and like nothing's good enough for me but you know that that's

actually uh it's it's a it's a front it's like a barrier that she's manifested and put up to protect herself from getting hurt but what you end up doing is keeping everybody away yeah and those girls always have an unreasonable list of oh the lists are hilarious he can't he can't have gotta be six three or taller he's gotta have veneers he's gotta make over 350 thousand like who the fuck are you I know he's gotta be in perfect shape and have a six pack I like abs yeah I haven't seen mine ever but I love abs they're all pigs they don't they cannot deserve abs yeah and they're like they have these ridiculous fucking standards like you guys gotta be the guys gotta be a rich model yeah that's what they want what are you bringing to the table you fucking bastard hound

oh my gosh I'm so mad but you know who dates the guys with abs girls with abs well abs usually roll together abs do roll together that's very rare that you see one with abs unless one's a younger girl yeah and then the guy's like a millionaire 60 year old guy like the young luke guy yeah well he's got abs but he's got abs got great abs you're right actually fucking solid body have to modify this theory you're right your original theory might be right abs go with abs yeah but not always not always not in the south there's a lot of dudes like that's something that you see a lot like the petite girl with the big guy that's a very like the standard thing okay yeah you can see that a lot but I think fitness rolls with fitness absolutely so like the the woman

like there can be kind of fit chick with out of shape guy you see a lot you don't see the opposite a lot you don't see really in shape guy with out of shape no I was just going to point out that we've seen it on vacation it's an anomaly it's an anomaly no worthy remember we saw okay do you remember we were on the I know where you're going yes I know where you're going because she was an animal this woman slash manatee was out like just like waddling yeah I mean she had to be Tom you're not being being very body positive right now she was so fucking fat she was probably 375 seriously like really on the line of I mean serious health issues gonna die soon and then the guy was probably six one and I'm not exaggerating 160 pounds maybe abs dad he wasn't

he was super lean he was like just straight up and down you know and she was like herald and she's laying on one of the like the beach chairs and she's like sunblock and then he would apply sunblock all over her body kind of forgot this all over her body and then she was like I want to get in the water so he had to help like pull her up he had to hoist her up out of the chair out of the chair then he would like he would like dangle fish be like come on come on come on and he got her into the water and then she would she's um she's like laying in the water as like you know what's the shoreline so the water comes up so there's like a bank so like the sand goes adip the little and it's like a shelf yes so she was waddling she waddled into the shelf and she's

like in this point she's laying in it right so the water would come up but it doesn't engulf you but after a while that water comes up and it kind of moves the shoreline right like the tide goes up so then she's like and she's like screaming because she wants to get up and she can't get up she can't stand that's how big she is and so he came up and he's really struggling because she's really big you know and the water makes you heavier when you're pulling somebody up out of the water it's heavier it's hard you know I was writing about this uh about how the opposite is usually true the opposite is women will be so forgiving of a man's physical flaws and you'll see and sometimes I mean I think it's easy to dismiss it as like yeah well that guy you know

has money or something I think it's actually goes further than that I think a lot of times you know you'll it can be a not wealthy man who still has the woman who's guys because women are better people women are better human fucking beings that's exactly right make children that's exactly right yeah and men don't men aren't like well I mean with the exception of this anomaly that we haven't forgotten about in over a decade we think about him every day yeah you this guy was like yeah she weighs fucking three times what I weigh and he was like I'll rub your sunblock on and then I'll get you out of the water and I remember so what happened was to get her out of the water they had to do a one two three and they had to go on the

momentum yeah of the wave and the timing and it wasn't just him like to get her off the it was somebody like somebody else helped too you know and the best part too I remember is like I think they they would do hair braiding and foot massages on the beach remember that yes and so like the locals it was like a little a business a side business and then that whale got her hair braided and feet rubbed feet right I just remember being like these poor women have to rub this oh my god I know and disgusting you couldn't pay me enough no to rub her feet no I'd be like nah if you're like all right we'll give you a thousand dollars and we're like no no dude I don't want to do it nasty as hell wait is there dirt and mud on them yeah I hate to say it I don't think that we

should be body positive when you're that obese it's definitely not I don't think we should be body positive at all I mean you know I've actually been working out a lot and trying to get in shape and what I keep hearing in my head which I think is good is you're not good enough yeah do better you're gross yeah and it's it's motivating it 100 you know I'm not like this is the temple you were born with and celebrate it fuck that right you know right I agree I mean I've been on this COVID diet since the December 20th when I started I lost my sense of smell and taste yeah and I'm going to keep fucking doing it yeah because the self-flage elation is what keeps it going you don't want to look fat you don't want to be fat anymore don't eat yeah just stop eating

it's pretty cool right you're gonna love yourself no matter who you are what you look like no that's not true you should want to look better and be better um I agree this is pretty cool this is a guy who apparently stole somebody's phone right and then went on live on the phone owner's facebook page oh my god let's get this straight let's get this straight from the rip I don't care you two stacks I'm two stacks I don't care I needed some money so it's 10 zans on 150 dollars which one which one huh I stole this phone it was unlocked I know that's my brother but fucking I don't care I stole from my mother damn this is great stuff this is what I'm talking we fixed up you know I be handsome for the stealing shit I stole this phone who won it buck 50 buck 50 for that phone who

won it huh shit is shit first of all shit is shit because I know if you don't want us to my yosas he's got a lot of face tats yes I noticed that a lot on the cheeks and that's something that I feel like I don't want to label generalize get into a stereotype I feel like people with full face tattoos are likely to steal your stuff I feel like everybody that we've shown with full face tattoos on this show has stolen something before you know that's a correct assumption Tom historically they've been either drug addicts they've done crystal math in the past or are drug dealers yeah yeah generally doctors lawyers accountants don't get face tattoos not full face you know yeah or insane clown posse oh entertainers yeah oh it's a seven plus boy it's a seven plus buck 50 or 10 zanz my nigga

buck 50 or 10 zanz what's up what's up shit is shit shit is shit so he wants $150 for the phone that he stole or 10 zannex bars oh 10 10 zannex pills yeah oh I got 10 I got those right here well then you can get that phone get that phone right now homie that phone's yours is that how much zanny is on the streets 151 milligram bars damn no what is that 15 it's 15 a bar something like that this sounds right damn man I don't match it I'll chill with fucking couple zannies yeah what's up homie that's a good deal do it the joey Diaz way take a thousand milligrams of THB then you take a baby zannex to take the edge off it's perfect that's really solid advice I'm sure doctors would approve of your advice tell your doctor that plan see if they like that

yeah all right uh before we go we'll get in that's what we're getting to right now we're getting to yours I heard you bitches was looking for me here I go I'm so sad she's off the talk but the bitch here I go yeah she was great she was really something special she was here we go okay I wish you liked me as much as I like you I think you're a nice woman you're gorgeous woman you're pretty I want to date you I want to go out with you I want to treat you nice can I tell you something yeah that's super relatable I mean everybody can't everybody connect with that sentence that's why I chose it yeah I mean this this actually makes me think about like high school you know yeah having a crush you're like I like you just put it out

there I wish you liked me put it out there I think that's a really sweet one I agree that's why I liked it it was simple it was straightforward I liked his angling I liked his message it was sincere I want to date you yeah it's what you want it's it's basically the better it's it's the more sane version of good morning Julia yeah it does and it had those vibes to it too right but without being like aggressive yeah all right I'm looking to get married I believe in marriage I'm the only I think I'm just wanting to believe in marriage that tells you a lot about me if you're interested interested let me know that's really a good message to put out I think I would do it maskless right so that I think having the mask on so she can see what she's buying sure yeah again it's a

it's a small faux pas you should wear your mask not when you're making tiktoks alone in your house maybe yeah and also very strange to uh to sign off on marriage with someone whose face you haven't sure yeah sure but hey he is an anomaly on tiktok the man who wants to get married so ladies you heard it here you heard it here okay just wait daddy daddy wait just wait I mean are you even a dad if you don't try to touch the bread when it's too hot are you even a dad it's a perfect dad talk it's a perfect dad he went back multiple times can we see it again it's so cute because like he's like that's hot that's too hot that's too hot too hot okay just wait daddy daddy wait just wait too hot hot

I mean how many times have you said this to your dad oh man yeah yeah and then as I became a dad I do this of course I'm always that's hot hot hot also also in the mouth you got too hot hot hot and then you go another bite yeah you've always done that it's like when a bear eats the honey and there's bees in it and they just let the bees sting his mouth he's like but it tastes good yeah yeah this one's I just love this one it's a simplicity the sweetness oh look what she's wearing oh I see it now this lady she posts a bit and she always posts um she's wearing the queen above 18 t-shirt not the hoodie that you have yeah the v-neck white but I'll say that this lady good morning wow there's

yeah it's a beautiful design this lady posts a lot of sexy stuff right so very sexy so this woman I forget her name um she's in her 70s and she's got a smoke and hot bod and she loves to show it off and she and her husband like to make provocative talks sexy films then oh what a that's great it's a perfect dynamic and she's showing off her rocking body like you're so hot that's right the husband I think gets off on her showing off her body on tiktok yeah and this one duet's a lot of the popular people on the talk so she seems to love it still taking applications for a sugar mama or sugar daddy um I enjoy lobster and fine dining and I'm great company and I'm a conversationalist you never runs out things to say I mean it's cool that I kind of feel

like it looks like me but also I love that he's taking applications right like hey there's a line at the door just just in case you're trying to get in yes he's exclusive but not so exclusive because he's taking male and female applicants that was also a nice note anyone who wants to pay for my shit yeah your girl your boys pay for my stuff really cool man it is cool it's a deal I know but it's a mess no a mess is you I like to put mine in the can and get rid of it once a week you're a mess actually every two weeks recycling costs for station identification talk with stubborn wall build that wall yeah we put a wall between Washington and Minnesota is what I want okay

and it's pretty much done so what drew you to share this one with us I just like that this guy was such a mess I'm like this is real that person exists in the world so depressing yeah I believe he is in Minnesota yeah yeah it's kind of like a indoor vibes indoor that's how you are if you you're inside a lot you make your own own vitamin D for too long yeah yeah yeah they're drunk because I thought that was kind of yeah I mean these are always a roller coaster of emotions that one I wasn't such a fan of let's see what's next okay you know so if any of you inbred motherfuckers in Springfield Missouri are watching this fuck you I'm looking for a fight you're the dumbest most retarded ignorant inbred motherfucking cocksuckers ever I've been to a lot of places come

I've been to a lot of places can I tell you something yeah I had a great time in Springfield Missouri did you yeah you like actually so I'm I'm doing dates to work out the new hour and I'm launching a tour hopefully later in the year and I told my agent hey you've got to throw Springfield on the tour no yeah but you can meet this guy there too I just hope he doesn't fight me or at least I hope I'm more healed by the time I see him yeah what if he sees me he's like where are you from I'm like I'm in Springfield right now it's like bitch let's throw down I think it's an interesting use of TikTok I haven't seen this before where someone just opens up an invitation for a fight I wonder if he had any takers I don't know I don't know but he's really aggressive I

really hate Springfield a lot yeah okay everybody I want you to stitch this with what you use as a piss jug all start I use a rock star sugar free because it fits my willy okay I can use it at work discreetly put it under the desk here and no have you ever heard of that you can just use it at work you could have used that in the hospital why didn't you ask for a rock star piss jug that's true I should have been like why are you giving me these jugs that are made for this I'd rather have a rock star it's a really good point yeah cheaper you know you could just get up and go to work he's like oh I got work to do let me tell you when I worked in an office getting up to go to the bathroom was basically a nice chance for me to have a break of course that's

the best part yeah I would sit like you would love when your body was like gotta go to the bathroom you're like oh thank god yeah get up dude I would go and just play Tetris on my phone for a half an hour taking a shit of course this goes out to all the emo girls who think they might be having a bad Christmas why don't you just sit on my lap and tell me what you want and I'll give you whatever you need yeah so this is just like the horny guy plea and I wonder if it works I don't know someone's gotta like it yes someone but it's not a good move yeah it's gross so this one is fun I actually speak in tongues I speak in tongues daily and it's a gift of the Holy Spirit I will initiate it by opening my mouth with the wheel to speak it but the Holy Spirit forms the words

and it's not just gibberish it comes out in what I can recognize as Hebrew and Aramaic alongside other words that are in languages that I can't distinguish although I have been able to recognize some words and look them up to find out what they mean so I use it as a prayer language it's meant as a prayer language and if it's used in a public forum there's meant to be an interpreter and the Lord will speak through it to a group of people that happened to me one time when we were praying for a ministry event one of the youth recognized what I said and interpreted it and shared it with us and it was a beautiful word about how the Lord was going to administer to the children at that event a hundred percent I know who she voted for okay can I ask you something yeah would

you rather hear me out you need to have a weekly standing dinner with either this chick and it's every week you've got to listen to this horseshit or the guy who shows up in his muddy boots and then he licks and eats his muddy boots in front of you and he talks to you about his muddy boots and how it makes him come so hard muddy boots not even a question wow muddy boots muddy boots is amusing like it's fascinating you know I could ask questions about do you like when there's a lot of mud just a little bit just a hint of it okay that was too easy what about this lady and the demigorgan non-binary guy and he told me and he talks to you about his pronoun guess I'm learning Aramaic what's more annoying right the pronoun guy yeah because she like she's full of

shit and I would just keep asking questions that I know she's gonna just talking circles around and it might be like a game he's more annoying yeah because he really it's too thought out his shit is like yeah all right Nadav who are you having dinner with every week you gotta listen to demigorgan pronouns or this lady I feel like if I talk to this lady she'll like keep me in my keep me on my toes and like oh I didn't think of stuff like that but then the other one I think is just gonna get me upset anytime I talk same I would want to kill him like she seems entertaining he seems upsetting yeah exactly that's a good distinction and then like there would be a point where you go you know what and she's like what and you go that's not Hebrew it's course no it is and

you're like actually I knew a few words I was waiting for her to actually spit it so I could tell you if it is or isn't I'm guessing it's not I could assure you that it's not yeah how does she know my king's above 18 here is the shirt that you guys have been asking for I just had one printed up King's army protect and respect the queen they are available right now if you'd like to order one the shirts are $30 plus $10 shipping and handling what that's the price of three panties I have got my logo my king and queen logo on the right upper corner you guys have a beautiful day enjoy all you have to do is go to my king and queens above 18 gmail.com send me your address address your name how many size how many then go to my Venmo and add the money my Venmo is on my front page

on my bio King's above 18 I love you all from a strictly from a business perspective this is a really good way to do this so the Venmo is on his TikTok profile but you have to e gmail him first the information yeah size address name how many you want and then go back to his TikTok profile it makes it's just horrible business sense but I've just that being said I've ordered for the whole studio so you guys will be getting and it's cool that they're $40 a pop god this is a fucking James Perce shirt Jesus Christ I know and like dirty panties go for yeah for less including shipping it's sort of a trip I fucking hate the way I come across on video it sounds like I'm half retarded don't get offended I love retards fucking uh

boy I'm nervous but I fucking have something to say where you at and then he stops talking that's where it ends that's a really good one he's like I'm fucking nervous I got something to say it click I hope you post this one in the stories too I did not I save this just but now why am I exclusive like you know because this is really cool your stories are like a ride like I'll I'll forget like a few days ago by like oh yeah I'll go to Christina's stories and then I go in there and I'm like man because it'll be like something like like inspiring and then something funny and something really sad and something crazy and something funny I'm like this is like an adventure it's like a movie but

it's the whole thing's three minutes and then a puppy yeah and then like a cute polar bear eating a carrot and then a like a cremation death story uh-huh and then then a car accident and narcos and then like a sexy 70 year old lady and then narcos yeah you think we want your sweat smell and balls in our face with your gross pee soaked dick in our mouths no but we do it because we care she's right about that that was just truth you know I'm saying that's what I'm talking about though it's just the ride I didn't know where that was going I didn't know if that was going to be like a joke payoff where like she goes we do or you know I mean yeah then she was like no we care yeah may I tell you these this is also by the way a dm like she posted this but this is meant for

a person for a person yeah for a guy definitely yeah what I like about certain talks is that they don't start the traditional way for instance some people like to start their talks with what I'm really excited about or first those of you someone out there needs to hear this you know those aren't going to be good or funny yeah because they're following the format it's got to be raw like that just a lunatic I like it thanks well I'm glad you appreciate my talks really good one finally I like the caption that's the best part yeah so for those of you just listening it's a it's a black dude and he's in like a graduation in the sun and he's got he's bald and he's bald and his head is super shiny and it looks hot as fuck and then his like girlfriend is rubbing his bald

head but really aggressively like giving it a rub down essentially it's it seems like it's like the what is it called I can't think of the word like foreplay yeah yeah yeah it seemed like it's like she's really rubbing it it's just meant for the bedroom the way that she's doing it and the caption is this is stressing me out which is so accurate like watching that it made me stressed out too this is crazy so that was a little eighth grade girl hanging from a bar and then a come on grown man punching her I know it says that punching her in the stomach she's an eighth grader that's a woman right eighth grade volleyball athlete it says yeah but that's not an eighth

grader right am I wrong it definitely doesn't look like an eighth grader to me no it looks like an adult well the point is it's a grown older guy yeah punching a young girl in the stomach and she's like harder harder so it's just gross it's kind of weird so for those of you just listening this is male foot fetish videos I stumbled upon these this week this is a man in the bathtub and he's rubbing his feet with the bubbles in the bubble bath seductively for the other people who love foot fetish and he's showing you the undersides of his man feet I don't think anything upsets me more no and he's breathing heavily to really heavily which is so menacing and his

tub looks like it's from the 70s because it's that old gross green color it is discussed men feet men's feet are just so gross they're so disgusting and revolting I know it's like I get so upset even just a man in flip flops I'm like same same it's so gross yeah put that shit away bro cover that shit up especially when I see people in flip flops on airplanes like what are you doing don't bring your nasty foot on a guy's foot is just I don't know even if it's not gross it's still gross because they're always ashy on the bottom or different colored on the bottom y'all don't manicure pedicure your shit nothing it's all white and crusty it's so nasty fucking upset now and now I'm fucking believable it just never fucking ends in this fucking job I got 14 months

I can't fucking wait to be done there's a fucking clue to the public what a bunch of assholes you are that was a fucking awesome one thank you that was a special one that reset my equilibrium that puts you back on tiktoks yeah that cop is losing it right there he's got 14 months it's like a movie he's like bruce willis I'm time it's time to retire it's a buddy cop premise definitely so upset I don't blame him could you imagine dealing with the public these fucking idiot scumbags he's fucking losing his mind I would go crazy being a police officer no way thanks to whole foods whole foods is being protected by these police who are standing all across this store I have one question what why are the police protecting corporations

and billionaires who are contributing to environmental degradation and freezing innocent animals to death wow I will be out of here in less than five minutes my suffering is nothing nothing compared to what whole foods John Natty just basil inflict on animals and then they label it as humane I'd rather date all the other people I know even the man in the tub okay wow really than that oh my god okay hold on imagine how imagine what a dinner is like with her of course we got we're at a vegan restaurant let's just start there so I'm already like I don't know I don't want to fucking any of this I was going to say that and then she starts with her protest speech I'd be like oh fucking I want to die

well I'm not sure what the correlation is between whole foods and Jeff Bezos freezing animals well she said that the environment they ruin other billionaires so she was saying Mackie Bezos everyone is is contributing to freezing animals suffering and freezing of animals yeah okay so okay would you rather marry ice bucket girl here sitting in the ice protesting or 90 day fiance the Russian poodle girl who's out in the outskirts of Washington Ukrainian Ukrainian Ukrainian girl and well hold on don't forget when she's at dinner with him and he's enjoying his steak yeah she's doing the whole why don't you try not eating meat for three weeks and see how that feels she sucks like that but also that's not so she was like okay one week on one week off with

meat and fish next week you eat fish and chicken I'd be like okay I mean it's not gonna it's not bad for me but it's annoying that someone is policing it sucks but she's less annoying for sure than this bitch you gotta be kidding me this one is so unbearable just insufferable no fun oh god no fun I bet you and then here's the thing you go to you let's say you're like you're trying to banger right I'm trying to banger she's like I'm protesting Whole Foods today I'm like I'm trying to bang this fucking weird chick so you stand out there with your sign and she's like you came and you're like yeah it means a lot to me too you know you're doing that fucking walking around pretending you give a shit oh who are they freezing yeah I mean yeah dummy so yeah you do your fucking

protests yeah she sits in the ice bath you're like all right let's go back to my house I got a heater you know warm yeah I'll warm you up right right so then you know she keeps talking and you keep you know you're feeding her fucking whatever soup and wine here shove it up fucking warm up I got your vegan cruelty for your wine and she gets a little loosey-goosey you give her a hug you're still cold you know your dick gets hard a couple minutes later it's in her mouth so my point is you feel like all right we got here right next morning how does she wake up you know what did you know when the amazon right now they're cutting down and you're like are you gonna fucking do this every day yes yes yes every day there's a new form of suffering that hasn't

been addressed and and protested enough yet it is this is like just the most exhausting exhausting and it's not just going to be your eating habits it's going to be are you wearing vegan cruelty free shoes everything are you wearing anti-corporate clothing are you are you voting the right way are you're driving environmentally conscious car this is in san francisco too by the way can tell by the buildings in the background yeah yeah and usually these girls have stinky boxes oh yeah I mean even out of the ice bath you can you can know that stinky yeah and I feel like any vegan protestor girl has a stinky badge that goes without saying right yeah I say with the guys vegan guys or whatever here's what I would say if you care about humanity your pussy stinks

okay that is a universal truth my friends I'm in yeah so this guy just enjoys latex yep way I would way rather hang out with him he seems cool I'd try it on I don't wear it he just enjoys the feeling of latex yeah and this is the stuff he posts it's just him in a different suit yeah it makes noise that makes sense that wasn't even a fart it's just that the latex makes that kind of captures air yeah I kind of I like that he likes something like this nice closer nice palette cleanser you got it yeah you got it you're welcome yeah very cool wow god those vegan girls I remember knowing so many of them in college because I went to school

SF so fucking annoying dude like you can't you can't just hang out with those people San Francisco is the epicenter of these chicks oh it's unbearable or just like the political people like I remember I tried to hang out hanging out with those kids software I don't care what your beliefs are those are the worst like I go to their dorm room there are these two guys that were like the political guys that would get laid that way yeah and like you should come over and hang out and I remember they converted their dorm room they had like painted it red and they had a poster of what's his name Che Guevara oh boy and a big one and then it was just chain smoking and talking about politics for hours and I was like you guys I'm so fucking bored yeah I am so

fucking bored talking about this let's pull these dicks out let's do something are we gonna fuck or what yeah are you two nerds gonna double team me or what I'm scared like I would ever fucking say that sure you would I would never yeah right oh my god let's see what you're working with they were no fun and they ended up dating girls that were no fun of course they did yeah yeah I mean they found people like them yeah yeah I remember I remember those chicks they were in my college too you know they always had Birkenstocks oh god yeah that's the smelly pussy shoe too it sure is because the bottom of the Burke gets black from all the foot funk on there I don't know what happens but would you be attracted to a Birkenstock no I don't like Birkenstocks no I don't

like them too gross too stinky it's not even stinky I just I feel like it's a symbol I feel like I see it I'd be like I don't want to get to know you I agree it's a it's a moral failure if you're wearing those shoes yeah I'm not interested you could wear a different sandal that is acceptable but if it feels like well these are like for comfort and they and they're good for walking I'd be like man I want to hang out with you that's so true do you know what else I don't want to hang out with what when I see somebody when I see a man in particular yeah wearing string bracelets oh yeah I go I don't even want don't even talk to me we're never gonna be cool I'm never gonna get you that a thumb ring fuck you we're never gonna be friends we're never gonna hang out I don't do

it's impossible in male or female a thumb ring is like we're just not on the same too much jewelry unless you're in a band you got to be in a big fucking band if you're if you're Tommy Lee and your big dick Tommy Lee you do whatever you want yeah you wear what you want you can wear Birkenstocks if you're Tommy Lee but I feel like you earned the jewelry yeah I feel like you earned those things like you have this incredible skill set that's all I gotta know I gotta know is there an incredible skill set that's going to accompany this jewelry and all these accessories on you if you're wearing scarfs and all types of beads scarfs you better be talented that's all I want to know you can't just be a regular no no you can't be an accounting guy or management guy doing

that stuff can I tell you how else I know give me those shades give me your your your I okay not these designs it's the um it's those extreme ones you know what they're called like the wrap arounds yeah and then the guy who does this with them though it's either this when they're guys yeah worse this guy that's not comparable that is not comparable this guy we're never gonna be friends we're never gonna talk sunglasses on the back of your neck you're a Guy Fieri style that's who made it popular yeah we're never gonna talk this is normal though I think like if you're not if you're in you walk inside but I'm saying no no that's normal if you have good glasses but if you have those wrap around those extreme like like what are you a fucking center fielder yeah like the orials

why are you have them on top yeah like drunk boating guy glasses yeah whatever that like river guy glasses those yeah like on I'll probably never talk to you yeah the we're not gonna be friends the machos thing there on the right that's what I mean wild yeah yeah like I probably I'm not gonna we're not gonna be friends no you're just not my first choice look I didn't want to say it at the beginning because I don't want to bum out our show but we wanted to say real quick that we found out that Jeff Scott the piano player from the comedy store has passed away and it's a real bummer to comedians especially Los Angeles based comedians Jeff Scott was a fixture of the comedy store he may I dare say the soul of the heart and soul of the comedy store this guy

was there every night that you could be there playing the piano as you go on stage and come off stage in the original room and in there for years knows everything about the store everyone who's been there you know I started I didn't go to the store I used to do like outside book spots but then I started going there regularly like I would say around six years ago and you know immediately embraced by him had some great talks with him and I'll say the only like happy thing that I think about now that learning that he passed is that I swear for the last two or three years every time I saw Jeff Scott every time we hugged he always gave me a hug and I used to talk to him in the kitchen in the hallway and just you know we just catch up like see how you're doing he would ask about

family ask about the road he was very you know comedians all thrive on confidence right like yeah letting he would always be like I love that joke he would laugh he would laugh you'd hear him like that was on the side so Jeff was HIV positive would openly for many many years and we don't know yet what his cause of death was but you know he was main maintain that Jeff would laugh like extra hard at AIDS jokes like I would do AIDS jokes and then look to the left and he would be like how he loved it he loved inappropriate and I'll tell you what was great about Jeff Scott is that he loved comedians yeah I mean loved us yeah he admired comedians for what we did he treasured everybody that came through there and he was the historian knew everything of the

comedy star I mean he one time came up to me and he goes Christina here's a pizza box that you know Sam kinnison signed and everyone signed and would you sign it and I was like oh my gosh and he's such a sweet man he was a sweet and even you hear him play the piano when you you know the room before the room filled in Jeff Scott opens the room he plays the keyboard and you knew that that was the beginning of the night as the audience filled in you would hear his music just fill up the comedy store and I can't even imagine I don't even know who's going to take his place I don't even think it's possible it's not I mean that's the thing we were thinking too it's like just the idea that someone else is going to sit at that keyboard is like

never doesn't really add up in your head you know he's such a sweet man he was such a sweetheart he was he was really sweet I never said a nasty thing you know no and he was like and I also I you know everyone has their own kind of pre-show thing I like to be early to spots and then I like to I get I get anxiety so I check in but I don't it's hard for me sometimes to watch I kind of check in a watch for like a moment and I step back on the stairs and I go back in and that's like my preset ritual I look at my notes then I look in and I step back out I look at my notes and I look again and I would see I would see Jeff in the in the hallway too and on the stairs because he would he would take a break you know like when someone's on he timed you so

you knew how much time I would always have Jeff and I'd be like well I got he already then we got to the point where he knew that about me so I would just look at him he's like three minutes and I'd be like I'm gonna go in a minute and a half like that that was like our you know he took to knowing that about me yeah you know he would always you know there's a part behind the comedy store he was so into knowing I mean he knows he knew everything it was cool you could be like he knew everything when was um Eddie Murphy here last he'd be like well I'll tell you there was a night and he would just tell you that story and about all of them Letterman prior kinnison like the whole legacy of everyone who's been there you know and also like preserving the

integrity like this is sacred ground back there's an area behind the comedy so called sacred ground where you're only the past paid regulars are allowed to be yeah and hang out and he you know police that area and make sure that nobody got back oh yeah he really respected the institution you know he I don't the craft it was really like he was a special special guy super special yeah and he's really kind really kind so kind fuck man that is devastating and what really makes me sad to think is that he loved the comedy store so much and to think that this whole year he wasn't able to go to the place he loved and he probably was protecting himself from getting sick and I just fucking emailed with him last week like hey I miss you and he wrote back

I miss us and that was just a few days ago and now he passed and like I know it's just terrible it's just one after another you know everything I know people this year is just well you know it's a new year but terrible this time period fuck so anyways not trying to be bummers but it's just we have to pay respect to to Jeff yeah he's legend yeah rest in peace wonderful Jeff Scott well to take us out we have a song by hen dog no song I haven't heard the song it's called I got a DUI baby so maybe this will brighten our mood thank you guys for watching thank you for listening we'll see you next week

you don't deserve time Tony yeah yo what's going on birds they call me chef jose I love to kick the girl strong to take advantage of them no but deadass I really do 02:11:21,040 --> 02:11:24,560 oh shit who's fucking catch my eye