Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 587 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://Stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the TOP of the homepage and type in MOM for a free 4-week trial, plus free postage, and a digital scale. - Get 25% off and ZERO delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter the code YMH. - Turn your “Goodbye” into someone else's “Hello” with Mercari. Start buying and selling when you download today from the App Stores or at https://Mercari.com. - Go to https://Squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! - Go to https://LiquidIV.com and enter code "MOM" for 25% off -If you’re a homeowner, make 2021 the year you save up to $1,055 by simply re-shopping your home and auto insurance when you go to https://Policygenius.com - Go to https://SoloStove.com and get $10 off when you use promo code "house" at checkout. GOOD DAY TO YOU CHOMOS!! In this episode of YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss the film "The Secrets We Keep," Armie Hammer's cool leaked DMs, and The Night Stalker Netflix documentary. They watch a video explaining last week's subway boot licker, a cool guy pastor on why women are weak, more clips of Hilaria Baldwin pretending to be from Spain, several Horrible or Hilarious videos, an NFL wife's daily routine, some open defecation, and a dude's Charles-esque video message asking out a girl. They also do a deep dive on Matthew McConaughey's Instagram and watch this week's batch of CP's TikToks. Cameron Van Hoy is a writer and director. He joins the Main Mommies via Zoom to discuss his most recent feature film "Flinch," which Tom is in. They discuss how Cameron got the movie made, watching the film in drive-in theaters, and the fun Tom had during the stunt scenes.

Nazis and SS soldiers Bunch of knuckleheads. Yeah, I hear everybody, you know, yeah shitting on America's politics I'm like, have you read about these Germans? Apparently we haven't heard about them because you guys are clowns. I think it's the best way to Acting like a bunch of clowns these guys And I didn't I gotta tell you something. I shook my head through that whole movie every time one of those soldiers Was doing something I was going like this bad news and

Good day to you Chomo's We're back on that shit nothing feels better oh Than reading your dates. Oh god. This feels so good. We haven't done this in a year. Yeah It's very exciting. Oh my god. I hope you're not gonna say the names correctly I might okay Go ahead if you want to do your dates. I would love to thank you So my show sold out in Addison. We're adding a late show on Thursday night That's February 4th through 7th Addison improv February 25th through 27th

Pustin Houston I get it at the Pustin improv can't wait March 11th through 13th. Gashville Gashville, Tennessee Nashville at Zany's tickets at Christina P online get them now because these rooms are smaller capacity Christina P online dot-on line on that's right and also check out where my mom's at if you haven't already Jean I will be in West Palm Beach, Florida February 16 through the 19th Press Falls

Two shows a night That's in West Palm in March. I'm going to the I think Maybe once or twice rescheduled now Phoenix States. I was gonna do Phoenix The day after I broke my arm in life And they told me you can't go so we rescheduled that is March 18 19 and 20 the following week I believe I'm in Omaha April I go back to do some Spanish shows and I'm also gonna go to Lexington 15 16 and 17 May I have date in Ohio six seven and eight and Brea, California

Again as the Spanish shows get closer, I'll get I'll get into more Specifics about those very excited to be back doing stand-up and later this year. I get to announce a big world tour Months from now, but I'm super excited to announce it get fucking vaccinated stuff fucking around. Okay. We want to get back on the road, so What about come on come on hall for Omaha come on Too far I Don't think so. Oh another big big big announcement. I cannot believe this is actually happening February 7 you may or may not know is the final game of the NFL's season

They have a trademarked name that we're not supposed to repeat. It runs with pooper soul So we call it the big game, you know the final championship game of the NFL season We're going to live stream a companion show for the duration like it'll be before the game starts all the way through the game We're gonna be companion show. It's a ticketed event that will have also pre-packaged shot things It's gonna be Burt Kreischer myself and Hall of Famer Warren Sapp, so we finally got this to come together Saps flying out Burt and I will be in here. We'll be watching the game Like I said, we have a lot of things planned for it

If you go to live stream. YMH studios.com you can get tickets if you use the previous URL It's fine. It'll just kick you over to that live stream. YMH studios.com We're very excited for it. We have a whole new hosting service website everything that we're very excited about so no tech issues Of course, oh, yeah, Tom Talks is back recording another one this week We have another ones on the books rate review and subscribe Tom Talks. It's got its own RSS feed now the Josh Potter show as well

As its own it's on iTunes You can look for the videos on our YouTube page, but they each have their own RSS feed So we're very excited about those shows and about the live stream Okay, there's a lot to get into I think we should go ahead and open the show properly. Let's start the show I want to thank the ones of you that are in my inbox and that are saying that you're gonna pray for me I appreciate it. I need prayer. I need all of that. I need some other stuff but I'm gonna ask you about that and But I want you to know this if your prayers include me to stop drinking stop smoking and stop having fun

And stop watching these little bitches pop their ass if your prayers include any of those things They're not gonna work because I'm rejecting them all and I will be continuing my same wicked ass motherfucking ways I guess is that the way you want to put it? Yes Welcome to your mom's house Oh Oh Look at your finger work on your guitar that's much better and stronger together. It's coming together

The nerve is healing. Oh, that's so exciting. You really are progressing nicely. I'm progressing nicely. I keep losing weight Oh my god, it's so great. Yeah, I'm down I'll tell you exactly what I'm down. I am down 24 pounds. Fuck. Yeah, dude the injury. Listen This tragedy shit has been nothing but a victory for the cigars. It I don't tell you COVID diet I'm down to like eight pounds. I still really can't taste shit. It's good for you. It's been great I haven't drank alcohol. I haven't been abusing myself. I was doing what this guy's doing. Yeah Looking at little bitches twerking a little ass Yeah

It's been good. Yeah, it's it has been good. I'm very I love his prayer I love his call to prayer. Well, don't you think it's condescending when anybody says I'll pray for you Oh, yeah, go fuck yourself. Go pray for yourself. I gotta worry about me The only people that do that are Christians are cunts. Oh, yeah, yeah Christian cunts. Yeah. Yeah, nobody else does that the Jays never do Jays don't pray for each other. Do they know we don't we don't believe in that and nobody I've never met a jayvon like I'm gonna pray for you. No one but no all that you had a Christian person tell you that a sea has done that to me After we've like wrapped up on a production. I mean, he's just like is there anything I could pray for you Just like more gigs. I don't know how to answer this

Yeah, I'll pray. I will tell you this speaking of Jays We watched This is not the segue. Yeah, this is we watched the secrets we keep the other day Oh my god, it has a J story line and I gotta tell you something that I put together Watching this movie just cuz I you know, I wasn't a history major, but Did you like I realized something watching this movie that Nazis and SS soldiers Bunch of knuckleheads. Yeah bad guys real knuckleheads. Yeah No, that was going

What made you finally what made you realize that just watching the movie I was like look at these knuckleheads just being Real all rapy real menacing shooty and stuff and all honestly like hey shoulders back and Let's start acting like a little nicer. You know That's what I took from the movie. Well. Yeah, cuz we didn't think they were that mean I mean, they were super mean gosh and not nice at all not nice at all

No, and what I did like is that I learned the German word for gypsy and it's very similar to the Hungarian word Which is what well it's a guy in in Hungarian and I think in German. It was like TIGANTA. Oh, yeah to God It was very similar. Yeah, that was nice to learn a new racial slur, too Yeah, and the movie kind of plays with your emotions because you're like, you know, yeah, you shouldn't you know Like commit genocide, but then when the girls like I was you know, I'm a Roma gypsy. You're like, you know, like Can I tell you things happen, I will tell you that My racist family hates the TIGANTA so much That it's true when she's like I'm a Roma. I was like, well

You know what you expect to kind of that's what happens. What do you want? You want everyone to embrace your style? But when you know what Hitler did Tom he was by the way another knucklehead. I was reading about him I was reading about him. Not a nice guy. Not nice at all. Did you know that not only did he take in Jays? Yeah, he took in the mentally retarded and knew that and The two guys and they conducted experiments. I'm learning all this stuff and I'm like Nothing about this regime was good. I am serious I

Hear everybody, you know, yeah shitting on America's politics. I'm like, have you read about these Germans? Apparently we haven't heard about them because you guys are Real Angels. Yeah jerks. Yeah real. I know we should be talking more about it, but we don't clowns I think it's the best way to act in like a bunch of clowns these guys And I didn't I gotta tell you something. I shook my head through that whole movie every time one of those Soldiers was doing something. I was going like this Bad news, you know, and I could I felt like they needed a real finger wagon

Don't do that, you know, but anyways very good movie Oh, we saw that and not we yeah, we saw that one and then thank you so much for convincing me to watch Which I never do your nightly never watch But we watched the Night Stalker docu series on Netflix and I got to tell you I was not expecting you to join Yeah, I told you, you know, I heard this is really good and you go. Oh, you know what? I'll watch that one with you. Well, you know why I'll tell you why because this guy ruined my summer 1985 this fucking scum fuck You're what 18

In college I'm doing blow no, but you are a kid. I'm a child and this a hole Just terrorized the city of Los Angeles for months and think that summer I could not sleep with my window open because I was terrified He was gonna crawl through it because he was abducting children. He was killing old people He was doing stuff to everybody man And he ruined AC DC if I may say so myself another knucklehead another I think when you watch you'll be like this guy's a real knucklehead

I wish you were on 60 minutes like at the end when that old guy will be like What's the deal with watches? Yeah, some of these serial killers can be knuckleheads Yeah Here's the thing I Was horrible his name and I knew the moniker, you know, and I knew the general story the docu series is They do an amazing job of telling the story and having the two detectives kind of narrate the entire story of The crimes and the capture right they kind of picked We're gonna go over this period of time like 84 through 85 and the capture of the trial everything I

Didn't realize the extent of The terror he caused, you know, because I just you kind of When I came to like learn who he was you kind of you learn the name, you know, you killed people and you're like, okay And then when you follow the story Man, I mean he Murdered more than a dozen people. He attacked. Are you touching your penis? These are saying that he attacked scratching myself. He attacked just getting erect like 40 people or something

He attacked and let go and let go and that but he also thought he had killed people that he didn't kill He was attacking abusing children. I mean that the guy was Such a menace such a horrible man. Yes. Yeah, and Richard the menace. What was Richard can I tell you something? Yeah, that would have been a funnier moniker if they had shamed him Of course instead of the night stalker, which is what he wanted He did and he wasn't using because they called him the valley intruder and the walk-in killer and he was like I'm the night and then the Herald Examiner called him the night stalker. He was like, that's what but but if they would have called him Richard the menace

Yeah, he'd be like, what do I gotta do? I have to do. Yeah, and I would have been so much people's eyes out of their head Jizzing everywhere. I'm vomiting on stuff. I mean he was I mean it really terrorized the city, huh? So I'm telling you as a kid you don't know everything Yeah, but his stupid face was on television every night and because he was indiscriminate in who he targeted and what neighborhoods So one night he'd be in Arcadia one night He'd be like in Rose Mead or where like he would just or East Los Angeles So you didn't know if he was gonna hit you know he'd be in Whittier and Northridge. Yeah, he was in the valley So we were I was in the valley so

Remember in a dob, do you remember the night sucker that fucking asshole? I think I'm a little too young for that. Oh for God's sakes, but let me tell you the best part obviously of watching those Well, I just punched myself in the face of my the best part of this documentary is we're watching it at night before bed I'm all excited because I'm fucking This is pretty good. I'm so scared and we're watching that the documentary and I don't normally watch crime Cuz I can't stand watching children getting abused and it doesn't get me hard like it does you I don't and I'm sitting there And he's like Richard Ramirez murdered a woman in Arcadia murdered a woman in Northridge Woodland Hills, West

I'm like I've lived in like all these places like I grew up. I have a friend right now that lives in Arcadia, so it's very like close to home But the one thing I did love about this fucking asshole The one thing that gave me great pride to be in Angelino is how he was caught. Yeah, it was pretty cool It was the fucking best thing ever this asshole made the mistake because they figured out who he was they blast him all on the news Figure out who he was it gets confirmed. They put it on the front page, and you know, there's no internet Obviously, but it's on every newspaper and on the news television around the clock and

He goes he's in like a east LA neighborhood He walks into a liquor store and sees his picture on the front paper He's like fuck he jumps on a city bus and people on the bus have the paper so they start looking at him Yeah, they're like hey fool. Yeah, you fucking Richard Ramirez He was an East Los Well, he gets off the bus because he sees he sees somebody recognize him jump off and Hit a payphone so Richard jumps off and runs across like eight lanes of freeways Right, and then jumps into and starts running through it like an east LA neighborhood going up and down these streets people are you know

Point in this direction He tries to carjack a Lady and a guy comes with like a metal rod and hits him And then people start putting putting together who he is and the neighborhood Jumps him and I get him bro. Yeah, they pin him down and they hold him. I think it's actually Perfect that it was like a Latin neighborhood That's what I love it because he was from East Los. Yeah. No, he's from El Paso, but but you know He's living in East Los Angeles. He was living and he had a brother that lived there

He was you know, obviously that that would be his community and his community best part Fucked him up and then they got so fired up that the cops were like they're gonna kill him like we got to get out of here So when I wouldn't fucking shed a tear for that guy my favorite part of the whole thing is that finish the doc and Christine is like I can't tell you watch all these shows like why did this happen? So I give her my you know amateur Why does it happen? Well, you know, I'm just like, you know Usually there's some genetic but environmental issues in the combination of the two. There's usually neglect abuse Some type of trauma in childhood other factors play into it

But you can almost always count on if you watch the amount of the stories that I've watched that that happens in some killers You know childhood And she's like, okay, and then I start thinking about it. I'm like well, I want you know, I wonder what happened Yeah, so she's like drifting off to sleep And then I come back I get in bed and I start reading about his childhood night and I go, hey She's like what and I go so when he was the kid I start reading her all his trauma She's like, I'm about to drift off to sleep. I'm literally drifting off to sleep and you're telling me about

Yeah, cuz you said you wanted to know you're like not now Tell me in the morning cuz then I have bad dreams all night and I'm dream about the night stalker and getting murdered and raped and beaten and killed Yeah, real knucklehead. Do you do real bad guy? Do you think that with all the stuff that you've watched all these murder shows? Do you think at this point you could become like a forensic detective or a murder detective homicide? I think I could be I think I could be trained more to yes, like I think at this point you have a thorough education I could be I think I think so I I am a I enjoy the

Game of trying to find the bad guy detective Yeah, I enjoy the game God bless the the policemen that found this ass those guys were great What's the guy who he was he's from wasn't he from East Los Angeles as well? The detective that found Richard Ramirez. He grew up in a gang neighborhood. He went into the army He went to college gets married has kids and then like becomes one of the the best youngest Detectives in LAPD. I just thought that was so inspiring and so great. I just love people like that Yeah, who worked so hard the two detectives who I forgot their names, but yeah, they basically Tell the story they tell the story that the docu series follows

I'll cut between you know the footage from that time and then them telling the story now It's a it's a it's really good. I just can't watch that much violence. I was like not that bad He actually is not that bad of a guy. So well, hold on man. May I segue this is a perfect segue now? And I normally don't listen to these stuff that listen to this kind of stuff But I got into the Bill Cosby podcast which he's doing from prison. He's like, here's what I'm dead today Yeah, they give me jello every day He's like you guys are not good doing bad things so much say so myself. Oh Oh

So this psycho it's called chasing Cosby and the LA Times reporter I believe is the one who's the writer of these articles and who's the host of the show and it follows some some of the accusers victims and I mean That's he is just demonic knucklehead number three You listen to these accounts. I'll give you a tape there. The stories are all very similar. Okay. Here's just here's just the recipe First of all Cosby would be friend not only the women so a lot of people think you get raped by strangers I'm sure this does happen

Most of the guy the guy in the hiding in the bushes right out and pins you down Well, what they're saying in this podcast is that it's most of time It's men you know and sometimes for years So Cosby would rape people women that he'd known for seven years in some instances Not only would he be friend the women he would be friend the family He finds some young girl at a casting call or something for his show He would be friend the call the mom and dad. Hey, I'm like, you know, I'm looking out for your daughter I'm treating her like my own child. I'm gonna hook her up in Hollywood

Can she come to a show of mine in Vegas? Yeah, of course, mr. Cosby Thank you for this. Yeah doing so much for us. Oh, yeah And then he flies them out. He does a show in front of them He kills go after the after the show in the hotel room and it's have this drink They take two sips they pass out they wake up bleeding Usually because he ain't only rape them blood everywhere And then the women would like get up if they can and leave and then he would like call them the next day like hey Why'd you leave?

That's the craziest part. Why'd you leave send them like he sent one woman a tree with a note said something to the extent of like hey take care of yourself you got to look out for yourself and You know, you're the only one that can that can watch out for you and blah blah blah like it's real It's real like you want to get your mind blown It's real shameless behavior, and it's also like a separation. So tell me what's going with what's going on his head Tom He's he's a ultra narcissist. He's a textbook psychopath not a sociopath the psychopath So what's the difference tell people well? I always forget to psychopaths are usually more cunning higher intelligence That people mistakenly think that psychopath denotes violence like actual murder and stuff has nothing to do with that

Zero sense of remorse zero sense of guilt sociopaths usually live on the fringes of society So you see like this so what's a CEO CEO is a psychopath psychopath a psychopath Yeah, so you know the the the guy that like steals a car and drives it into a Like a Convenience store out on the sticks and is like fuck it and like you know shotgun blasts and and does crazy shit like that a Lot of people like a lot of psychology would denote call that person a sociopath, right? They both have no sense of remorse or guilt But the psychopath is usually thought of to be more cunning more intelligent

methodical zero sense of remorse Zero sense of guilt and and Cosby has the the added detail of being in such a position of power and using that power to Commit the acts he wants to commit without accountability and is so deep into his own Story and how he conducts himself that he might he might not actually believe he has done something wrong

He doesn't you know so he doesn't even like when he says like why'd you leave in his mind? The story is already spun in his mind that like I Flew you out you saw the show You came up to the room you had a drink We had a good time I'm just checking on you. How you doing? Do you see how well he's inside of Cosby's head? That was scary like that would take me years to even get to he was like I get it I didn't say I get it. You asked me to give you my thoughts on it

But yes, you're right There's a sense of like and what's interesting is he would still treat these women like children and say you got to protect You gotta look out for yourself. Why are you drinking? Why are you doing that? There's a famous. Wow. There's a famous police officer who raped Women in God, I think it was in Lafayette, Louisiana. Okay, this is years ago and He would break in and rape them on the job right sometimes and

One of his victims was like yeah, he told me like you got to keep your windows closed I mean something bad could really happen to you, you know something bad. Yeah, he's like there's a lot of bad people out there Why is your window unlocked? So he's like doing you a favor because he's not the bad guy. Yeah, this is so far off Well, he's the good guy police officer raped Lafayette Okay Jesus Christ for you hurry up and find that shit Looking for you

Wait, what is that from what year? 2004 So let me let me give you a Google search. Let me see if I can do it remotely ready, Louisiana Police officer Rapist Do you want to put Lafayette in there? I don't know cuz maybe the city's wrong. That's why I think Louisiana Try that That's too recent this is an older case so how much older I think this case has to be

Between 15 and 20 years old so maybe do Add 19 try 1980s 80s How about that one who's that Ernest Randall come out hit that that sounds like it Do you have an image of him? No, I'm not on this one. So back up once and then

Yeah, grab his name Tell me if we find I'll tell you exactly if this him or not Oh Looks like a rapist is one of those supposed to be him all of them look like rapists. They look like all different people Yeah, I bet you it's that white guy with the beard. I'm going white guy with the beard. It's definitely a white guy That's not him back up again. I think I kind of know who you're talking Is there footage of him like crying in court? I've never seen him crying in court. I've seen his Like his official police officer

You know shot whatever it's called. I don't think that's him Hmm Anyway, anyway, so sorry he would he would basically be like You shouldn't leave your way. Would he tell the victims that after he was done assaulting them? Who's that this cop? so yeah, so the cop would break in and He'd come in he would rape them and then he'd be like You know your windows open there's a lot of dangerous people out there and Like tell them that you know one of the things that they made the police off like the investigators think that it might be a

Police officer that was committing these rapes in Louisiana tell me that he The one of the victims remembered that he held its flashlight like this. Oh like that. Yes That's how cops do. Yeah, flashing the light and he was like she was like yeah, I held it like this and they're like, hmm Because most lay people hold it like that. That's a cop thing. It's a very cop thing to hold it up like that. Wow Yes, Cosby too didn't he felt that's him there. Yeah, why go what's his name? Randy come on. I got a couple good tips from Zola over here. I'm gonna find it. Uh-huh. What did Zola tell you? How did he tell you to find it? He's just like hey, I found it type this That's him. That's the guy. Yeah. Yeah, see he was on forensic files. Yeah

Yeah, I remember right because they they don't associate themselves with the bad guys. They're right. Is that what that is? I'm not the bad guy. That guy was like it's like it's very similar to the Cosby thing of you Commit the crime The and you compartmentalize it. That's what he's doing like Cosby too. He's like he's doing this thing here But he's able to separate it completely from like he's like I'm just jello pudding pops, you know, and yeah And that guy's like I'm a police officer. I have police officer duties this thing that I'm doing doesn't exist It doesn't mean that I'm a bad police. I'm still looking out because Cosby and depositions admitted to drugging and rape Like but in his mind, we had a few drinks. We did some Quailudes and we had sex. It wasn't rape

Right. I just we just did some fun drugs together and then you they're like, did you talk about it? Yeah, it's like you told her we'd be doing this. Well, I mean why'd she come up for the drink? So he in his mind that was consent if the girl was in his I mean, I'm sure it's something like that Happen upstairs, you know, it's so dark. You guys really it's such a good listen I don't really like like I said crime podcast, but the fact that it's a comedian my goodness. I noticed we're missing our general our usual switcher Today Any yes, mm-hmm

Where is he? Well, you know, it's it's a couple days. It's a couple kind of special days for him. It's it's his birthday Okay, any any hope you're having a good birthday. I'll be smurf day and and it's MLK day And he wanted off for both reasons Mm-hmm Okay Well, make sense. Is that okay? It sure is now Mean after this past year, what am I gonna say?

Hey, Annie. Sorry. That's right. You can't can't do it anymore. That's right. Yeah You know take off your J days might as well You might want to box out the NBA finals week and be like, hey, you got the whole week off, too. And he enjoyed that So Do you take you don't take off your J holidays? Do you need up? Well, no, but I don't respect any of those types of holidays. Yeah, Jesus Russia Shawna, you don't do that. Yeah, fuck all that J shit. Wow Wow, you know, I made homemade matzah balls the other day

And I sent him a picture. I said I'm making matzah balls soup. He was like fuck you fuck your soup He really hates anything. She was really excited about it. She was like, I'm more in touch with my Jewish side I'm getting my uh, yeah, she's really I love being Jewish with all there is. I never said fuck you Christina. Yeah, fuck you Fuck your fucking soup bitch. I said fuck J food and fuck soup Fuck soup. Okay soup is soup soup is stupid, then uh soup stupid Do you remember last week? It's unreal. You two talks Thought this was just like a hungry guy Yeah

Yeah, you're like, I think he just I'm not a hungry guy that he has pika. Yeah Like he just likes that stuff So hard to watch Yeah, and then you you the job was also like I also think That that's what's going on and Zolo and I I mean I was the first one to say this is definitely a hard dick Sure, his dick's about to rip through his pants And then Zolo was like, I think so too

Um, anyways, that's what what we got an expert to confirm what's going on here. Okay. Thank god What's up chomos? I'm just tuning in to give my expert opinion here having sold My shoes my socks foot content control content all that good stuff I wanted to confirm Todd's ideas about the guy eating a boot on subway He's definitely acting out his kinks here What I suspect is happening is he has a foot mistress and she said you're gonna eat my dirty ass shoe today Probably somewhere public How about the subway and also you're not gonna touch yourself that whole time because you're in public idiot

You don't get to touch yourself until I tell you you're gonna get home And then I'll tell you now you come has a little extra bonus for him a stranger It looks like started to film him and that probably made him even harder So I just want to say crystal and native totally talked and Tommy is on point here I hope that's helpful You bet. I'm coming up in May I love her and I want to interview her further. Don't you want to know she's fantastic her ig She said we can give it out is at

Mars, I believe coler or keller. It's m a r s k o e L e r So thank you so much. Mary. I want to hear more. Mary. You got to come on. Let's discuss your panty now Hold on then we have another email. Oh, right. Hey, hiya hitlers. I don't think any of y'all are Hey, did you see I said y'all for the first time on texan y'all are fully correct on the intentions of the bootlickers fetish To me that seemed to be more in the lane of voyeurism I don't partake myself although I do enjoy the videos of a queen above 18 using one of those wireless vibrators

And he has referenced before I could easily see that's talked guys dumb There you go instructing him to go out in public and lick my boot There you go jerking off part would come later and so would he piss on me being Katelyn yeah So there you go. Hey experts right in thank you guys right and what's the other one? There's the other one that you read earlier that you were really excited about remember Oh, this one. Yeah, born panty fall. Yeah. Yeah It's the same lane. I keep because every time now I take my underwear up at the end of the day

I'm like there's 30 bucks. Yeah Just throwing money in the trash at this one in the hamper Yeah I wonder if I yeah, okay This one's great too. Hi jeans. I'm a paramedic, but I sell panties on the side Typically unprotected sex is a plus also not wiping is definitely a thing and is very tricky Hope this helps love from nashville candy candy. This I want more. I want an essay candy Also, I just can't help but think about I was in the back of an ambulance recently

And I wonder what that would have been like if I'd been like Oh my arm and my knee they're fucked and then the paramedic's like, you know, I've been Wearing these panties all day and I'm like, what? What? They're real sticky. I've been farting and sweating and I'm like My arm hurts. She's like, do you have a wallet? I'm like, yeah, I've got a wallet Do you have $30? Uh-huh Do you I'm gonna give you some fentanyl, but do you want my panties to make you feel better?

Okay, okay, just get the money out. Just please fix my arm It's a perfect situation. It would be funny if she were to average like just subtly like when you're in severe pain like You know, I might make you feel better Dirty, you know, the better if I'm holding my arm. I'm like, I'm so much pain and she stands up Takes her pants off. I'm like, what are you doing? And she takes her panties off puts her pants back on I'm like what and then she just goes smothered. I'm like, what the fuck? She's like now. Don't you feel better? It's slut penicillin. I farted all day and I I also had unprotected sex

Well, this person does say that the not wiping thing is very tricky. Yes I agree that can lend itself to many medical problems for women. You got to wipe your stuff front to back, you know It's funny that you say that. Yeah, because I think a lot of women Could probably learn her thing or two From this person. Oh, this video seems pretty cool. This is the way you could eliminate that. Don't let your wife work There you go case closed Let's pray All right

That's how you could eliminate that and much of adultery that takes place in marriage is when a woman is working out in the world Duh That happens all the time. Yeah, why because women are weak. Yes. I'm not downplaying them. I'm not waiting them It's fat. It's in the bible. Yes. They are the weaker vessel. You know what I love about This guy though That he's so confident. He gets it. He's not he's not like trying to figure it out. No, he's he's had this happen to him That's why my daughter will never work Ever I mean she'll work at the house, but she's never gonna work a secular job

Over my dead body. Oh, wow Would I ever allow my daughter to work a secular job? That is a cool dad. Why because my daughter's gonna be weak She's a woman. She's weak He's very cool. So hold on but what about online, you know, a lot of people I don't think he's I don't think he's cool with that She's gonna be beautiful. So it's gonna be guys who are going after my dog. I'm not gonna no way No stinking way No, I'm sidenote here. This is my father-in-law. Tommy. Take your daughters on dates, too Compliment your daughters. Okay. Take your daughters on dates compliment them compliment them to the to the cows come home

Because if they're getting that from their own father, they're not going to be looking for it from someone else You're basically fulfilling that need that they have Is this like jessica simpson remember she had an engagement ring from her dad It was a promise ring. Do you remember that? It's true. Jessica simpson Had a promise ring from her dad so that she would save herself daddy's court You would be required to make daddy come Oh Yeah, her virginity ring see look jessica simpsons

You guys do you remember this shit? 2005 I can't read that shit bro. I'm 44. I'm fucking half dead. Okay. I know that I've written about just as a creepy dad before Here we go. Jessica simpsons father joe made the singer promise to stay a virgin until she married During a ceremony when she was 12. Oh my god Simpson who doubles as jessica's manager handed the 24 year old a promise ring and vowed to be the only man in her life Until she married he explains i'm going to tell you how beautiful you are every day. That's the same thing It's the same fucking thing even when you make a mistake. You are someone special And i'm going to be that person until the day you find a man to do that in my place

Um, what the fuck it says in the actual article Um, yeah, you know, I don't know I I got two boys. So this ain't my problem. This ain't my problem either Honestly though having a dismissive dad made me Want a nice guy So I actually think the opposite is better like my dad let me work from the time I was 13 This guy's daughter's gonna have problems that you know, what's gonna happen Super, let me tell you. This is the princess shit. Yeah, she's never gonna find someone that loves her as much as daddy

Here's the thing though princess though. Actually, I think usually comes from an A real sweet guy who's kind of oblivious like to to ground the the daughter in reality. This is not that This is this is more in the abuse lane Super strict like super super strict and religious and he's gonna fuck her up big time big time. Yeah This guy's a real jerk. Now, you know, who else is a knucklehead? We learned Arnie hammer Oh the actor Christ these came in. Have you not heard about this yet? This is one of the most need. Oh stories out there This is the hot goss segment. This guy is a very talented actor very popular too

Um, I've never heard of him before this awesome story. You've seen him though. You've seen him in things He's familiar. Yeah, he's um, he works a lot. He works a lot. He's an in-demand actor until recently married kids, but Since then he has leaked DMs Um, and I here's the thing. I don't like to king shame So I don't want to king, you know what king shame means. I understand. I'd like to I think it's fun

I think it's it's rude and and you should let people Get off on whatever they get off on sure and not shame them. But sometimes These kinks are you can't help it. They're more eye-opening. They're they're stranger than you're used to Yes, you know, you hear some of these things like panty sniffing and bootlicking and you're like, uh, it's you know Harmless it's in it's in the the circle that you're used to seeing. Well, here's why I like those two is that it's a victimless crime Panty snips you got two willing people participating same with the bootlicks. Did you fart in this or not? Because I don't want it if you didn't and it's just fun. It's silly. It is. I do like to make fun of it Yeah, no, no, I get it and maybe shame a little because it's fun

It makes me feel better about me, but arnie has a real unique kink. Yeah, he likes Uh, is it army army? Oh, it's army. I thought it was arnie like arnold Is it short for like vermondo armie armie hammer my bad Short for armin is he uh, and pull up pull up his imdb real quick so that we can Because I know I've seen him and I feel like in a dozen things, but I I really am Struggling to pull out exactly what they are Armie hammer, you're right. Okay armin. Yeah. He's a good-looking guy, right? He's born in la homie. All right scroll down So I can actually see it call me by your name the man from uncle the loan

That's why I saw him in the man from uncle. He's in a bunch of stuff and he's got like I don't know eight things in production right now. Very busy actor Does a lot of stuff here. Okay. Let's see wounds. He's in the facebook on the basis of sex hotel mumbai. Sorry to bother you Um Yeah, so he's yeah, he's in the facebook movie. Yeah, I think he plays play those rowing. Yes brothers. Yes. Oh, that's where he's from Yeah, he was cute. Yeah, damn So anyway, this is what happened um

Somehow I don't know how the story actually broke, but they leaked dms That he had and they are revealing his his kink dude fetish so to speak revolves all around cannibalism So Shit is wild homie. Let me see here. I've never even heard of this one and we've we've covered a lot on this show A lot to see he says I want to see I want to see everything. I want to see your brain your blood your organs every part of you I would definitely bite a hundred percent or try to fuck it

Not sure which probably both if I fucked you in a vegetative state I'd keep you feed you wash you and keep fucking you Till you are so sore and broken. Well, hold on if I fucked you into a vegetative state, but she's Bleeding. Okay. Sorry. I'm just making sure I understand adds up to you now. Yeah, okay Is this a psychopath is this a serial killer thing? No, not necessarily. Is this what Richard Ramirez liked? No No, I don't think Richard would explain this to you Um Now he writes see we're not seeing the other side of this conversation though because clearly he's responding to something here

He says oh my god that made me so hard And it makes me confused as to why is that even possible? So hard thinking of holding your heart in my hand and controlling when it beats I am 100% accountable. I want to eat you. Fuck that's scary to admit. I've never admitted that before Uh, I've cut the heart out of a living animal before and eaten it while still warm And here's the thing he's fine He's a normal guy Yeah, so

Yeah, I know I do kind of feel bad for him Because he shared these feelings and someone just outed him. You know I don't like when people do this to celebrities or to other people It's voice mails and stuff. Yeah, it's really shit. Especially because Look, is this a fantasy that he's playing out with someone? That's what I think it is and that's private I think it's a fantasy. I don't think he's actually a cannibal But I think that whole blood and guts thing gets him off for whatever reason. I don't know why which is so It's strange weird. I love it and I want to know more. I bet you

His dms. Well, I think he's probably off took his account off. But when he comes back, there's gonna be a bunch of come hungry SLUTs that are like you can cut me up This is gonna work in his favor ultimately. Definitely. Well, this is a tricky one to oblige this fetish, right? Because you're essentially gonna kill the person that you're yeah, I mean, I think that most people Or women that are reading this are probably going Like he's not actually gonna kill me. You know, well, if you're that scared of them, you're not gonna engage But I think most people I remember a few years ago

There was a story about this german man who put an ad on craigslist asking for somebody to eat He goes, I want to take a slice of you of your leg of your penis and people volunteered To have this man eat pieces of that the only way that you're really allowed I think to because you can't like consume someone They have to what a shame they have to Like consciously Give a piece of themself to you. You know what I mean consciously like they have to be Uh, with it, you know

And go like, okay. Here's a piece of my leg and give it to you in order to not be prosecuted Pretty wild stuff. I mean it There's more you want to read more of course, of course, it's great Oh, you said it made me realize that I'm not just saying it A deer I shot it ran up pulled out the knife cut out the heart and ate it totally raw still warm I'd eat your heart if it wasn't stuck Without you after oh see that's sweet. That's actually a sweet thing to say to someone I didn't throw up a friend of mine tried to take a bite. He threw up immediately

I took multiple bites, but he's like this is edited right because we're not seeing any of the back and forth Which I think is not fair. You know, yeah, I imagine what this person did smartly was just delete all of their messages So it's just it's just his probably that's really You know, I'm going to come thinking of breaking your bones You've said stuff to me like that. Talk to me. Text me. Text me about breaking your bones. Well, okay Geez I'll send you the voice note while I come after reading. Geez. Yeah, my cock is in my hand. See he's having a good time

He is having a good time And he says my cock is in my hand and I'm thinking about breaking your ribs What a nice guy Let's see here cutting you into pieces fucking the pieces. Can you send me pictures? I want to bite you again thinking of eating you Yeah, I think he's really just Just fantasizing. You didn't read the last bit Tom. What does it say? What do you need to walk for? You just lay on a pile on the floor and I'll fuck you whenever I walk past you What's wrong with that?

Man, that is like It's other level bro other level what like is is he that does he have the mind of a killer is what I'm wondering But but that's what these murders all do. They this is a fantasy. This guy's Kill people they sometimes have sex with the body the dead bodies the dead It's all a fantasy. But is he he's he's hold on But that's what murderers do. They fantasize about it, right? And then they do it But he's several several steps removed from doing it. He's really he's DMing with somebody about it That's very very very far from doing something like that. Okay. I think he's exercising his

Fantasy with someone who's engaging him and you're losing something by not seeing their back and forth You're just seeing one side of this. Well, hopefully it ends at the just the fantasy. I mean, look, here's here But here's why I'm a little concerned. I agree. I'm a little concerned about the deer I killed the deer. I ripped its heart out. I hate it. That's a little acting out It starts with animals. Does it not? I'm sorry killers killers, but also Did that actually happen? I don't know. Well, I know but I I would bet you that that story is probably a big embellishment Yeah, you think he's showing off? Of course he's like

Oh, you do deer hurt. Yeah, it's it is a flex and she's like I shot it ran up on it Gutted it immediately and ate its beat. I mean, it just it's hard to believe. I think he's lying. It's improbable. It's possible, but What does it say here? Oh god, I don't know read it. No, thanks It says I'll stitch you up after I come Because I won't let you die. Thank you waste of a perfect slave Tell me the fantasy. Can you imagine all the warm blood all over my cock? Okay, drinking it while I fuck you. Oh, yeah, it's just it's a it's a murder

Uh cannibal fantasy. I don't I don't buy that this is like really what's gonna happen Okay, you do it's it. I just I think I like I've never heard of it. I'm still shocked by it And um, I'm just having a very visceral normal reaction, you know Yeah, I think you're being kind of a square. Um, here's a Image that was on his instagram before he took his instagram down Oh So he took a picture of a license plate that said I'd rather be eating human flesh And then he army

Wrote I wonder what he's gonna be grilling for memorial day So he clearly likes that kind of thing. I think it's a kink. I think it really is sure. Yeah Oh Yeah, okay poor guy poor guy Um speaking of actors you're looking at one. I am In a new movie. It's called A flinch it is out beginning the 21st. You can rent it. It's playing at some drive-in theaters apparently was at I think 50 or so over the weekend

So we uh had a little chat with the writer director and producer Of this movie that i'm in Cameron van ooy Joined us and here is our conversation with him It is now my pleasure to welcome Uh, very special guest the writer director producer of the new film

flinch which has yours truly in it Mr. Cameron van ooy. Thank you very much for joining us today cam. Thank you for um Asking me to be in your movie. I really appreciate it Thank you for being in it. No It was it was quite an experience. Um, here's what dude. This is what I love about you. First of all it I realize After some time here that it is a miracle

To get a movie made like all you hear about when you first I've been out here almost 20 years And from the moment you get here, you know, you meet Countless people that are like i'm gonna make a movie. I want to make a movie. I'm making a movie all this shit and basically None of them do and then You are the rare

rare breed of person Who I mean you're a true hustler like people People like they give up because it's hard. It's hard to get these things done and made and here you are Faced with like the impossible task of getting a film made on your own and you did it. It's amazing Yeah, thank you. I mean How did how are you so capable of getting this done? Um, you know I've this is my like sixth film at this point. Oh, wow. Jesus first time I've I've written and directed one everything

I've done up until now I've produced And every movie continued to get bigger from producing right like my first film I made it for such a small budget And the next one was a little bigger and they all got a little bigger and a little better Until I did the the movie before this tragedy girls which got really good reviews. We got a good sale We went to a you know, big festival and could cast the whole deal And then I was like, all right, it's time for me to direct um

And I don't you know, I think I'm able to do it and get movies made because I don't give up and I don't know why really. I don't I don't give up and I care about it. I mean, it's all I think about No, no, I I see everything you're saying now comes through with you. I believe that you don't give up I believe that you deeply care about it I believe that there's almost like a you have to have some level of obsession with getting your Vision made. It's just it is increasingly rare. I mean, I want you

To do a master class because you know Like when uh martin score says he does one and he's like here's how you make movies like yeah Fuckhead you probably just go like hey, it's me marty. I want to make a movie like I want to see somebody who like actually really has to hustle because I remember getting the call about this like, you know, here's the movie and it was an offer and just I mean, I feel like you were You had your your crew and and just relentless in getting this thing made, you know, which is That I think that's what you have to do for anybody out there who's like

I want to make a movie you got to be obsessed and relentless Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Don't give up and it certainly is a marathon It's like this long patient marathon of pushing. Yeah, man. I mean we shot. I don't remember when we shot this We shot it like end of 2018. Oh my goodness and we're in 2021 Yeah, um Well, may I ask you a question most importantly before we started this interview? I notice you're very fit But you're eating a hot dog and tom and I were debating

What kind of hot dog were you eating? Was it a bratwurst? Was it a breakfast sausage? I think it was a kielbasa. It was very nice It's a breakfast sausage Yeah, take a bite. Go ahead. Don't let it stop you take a bite. Don't let it stop your breakfast Yeah, you're gonna wait. Okay. Is that is that the cameron van oi? Key to fitness just one breakfast sausage a day and then that carries you through the day Oh, sometimes it is like I eat a lot of meat. You do? I live off of meat sometimes. Okay I mean look. Hey, you have a nice figure. So it's clearly working

So what can you what like talk about? this Movie what the movie is about And then I yeah, then I have a follow-up for you Okay. Yeah, um, the you know the film's called flinch. It's about a young hitman who lives with his mother Who falls in love with a girl who witnesses him kill somebody? So he becomes very conflicted about what to do with her. He should dispose of her immediately Bring himself to do it. So he takes back home

And keeps her in his bedroom until he can sort things out And that's really where a lot of the conflict and fun comes into the film. Yep And we actually this weekend on friday, we we released it in 50 theaters across the country. Wow and um And drivings and theaters and we kind of crushed it great congratulations Especially the guy was like i'm getting the numbers in this morning and I knew that in la we crushed if I went I went it was packed. Really? That's awesome

Back to the brim and like I maybe had like a few friends with me Maybe like four cars with the people that showed up that were there for you know support or whatever to see it Everyone else was just random people there watching the movie and they all seemed like so I I went back again last night And it was like pre-packed again with just all people there to watch the where is it showing in la Showing at this uh drive-in theater called the vineland Which is the drive-in in la. It's just a little bit out. It's in city of industry But it's this giant drive-in has been around for forever and I've never gone to a drive-in before And like the picture quality ain't great and the sound is coming through your radio. You know to realize

It's you know, it's that vibe but it's so fun and after the movie like everyone hocks their horns like flashes their lights Oh, yeah, no, I've been to those. Yeah, um stand up. You know, it's not fun doing stand-up at those now Um, let me while you're here. I'm gonna play the trailer Yeah, I'm gonna play the trailer to your movie flinch. Uh, check it out um, if you're watching the podcast right now Or you're listening you should be able to rent it, right? Um on any of the platforms On the well, I don't know when they're why I'm 21st. It's okay beginning the 21st. All right. Here's the trailer to flinch What do you think

Today's gonna be a good one All right, man Got something for you to do. I need it done right away real fast Okay, we just a quick gig mom are you trying to tell me that girl and there was a witness anybody see joey, you got to take care of this Take care of this right now. No, listen. We need to find this girl. Hey, sir. Why is she still alive? You didn't flinch Oh

Very impressive. Um, you did it. You made a movie. Here's the big follow-up for you though cameron why Did I get cast in this how When did russell crow pass and you're like How did this happen He's what A good comp you and russell probably fight for roles. I could see oh, yeah all the time. I'm always like did you get this one? so

How did it happen? How did I get this part? I was you know, you're casting a movie and you know, I had to figure out the lead guy first and the lead girl and the mom You know and which by the way, you got kathy moriarty Yeah, yeah, she's amazing. She's fantastic Fantastic, and then I knew I wanted that guy buddy duress who's like a wild card. Yes I'm him and it shouts out to rikers island. Go ahead I think they Oh, oh, okay. Well good, buddy

um But uh, and then you know, we I needed the role of ed And we hadn't cast it and we started shooting and I was with my casting director and I was like, you know what? Let's get a comedian for this role. Let's get like a That's what we should do for this role and she was the one who said tom segura and I was like that's a And then I didn't really think it was gonna happen, you know, and then she came back to me like a day later She was he likes it. He's in and I was like what my girlfriend was also like what and it was just amazing And and here's a cool story actually

The crew would during lunch because we were shooting nights, you know They would always go into like when we were in the house filming they go into this garage and put up a screen And just watch something together as a crew during lunch, you know And I I think it was like literally the day before You came on they were watching one of your stand-up special Oh, wow And then I you know, then the news like moved like hey, he's actually gonna be in the movie and everyone loved it Everyone's awesome

Yeah, it was a fun fun experience because I got to play A really the part is really fun I also got to do some extremely violent things and I won't give away everything Because I don't want to get I don't want to spoil anything for anybody that's going to watch the film But you you let you You wrote Some extremely violent stuff that I got to be a part of which was really the thrill of a lifetime So I want to thank you for that

It was really a joy and I actually I have Uh a clip here that um doesn't give away too much But that you sent that we can play of my part a little clip. So I'm going to go ahead and play that right now I don't give a shit where you guys are So Take a fucking shower together Fine let's come back Friday Yeah help you there

You Uh You motherfucker Yeah Yeah I'll give a little um good job casting. I just have to say you guys nailed it I gotta tell you uh, here's a little Little tidbit for people who watch this you had a great great, uh cast and crew

and um So i'm working with the stunt coordinator for that uh Little teaser scene we just showed in the bathroom and There was a scene there's a part where I shove him Against a bathroom stall door

So So I go all right i'm a How should I shove you he was like shove me like really shove me and I go I'll shove the fucking shit out of you man and he goes go for it and then The stunt coordinator the guy like who's kind of you know explaining us how to do things. He's like, oh, okay He's like give him give him a good, you know grab him by the shirt collar give him a good Shovel and I was like great. I'm gonna fucking light you up

He weighs like a hundred pounds less than me dang. So I was like, okay So it's like action. I grabbed him and I shove him through the door. I throw him through the door Up over the toilet against the wall and they're like cut cut And then he's dan daniel's like he's like he's like uh, he's like damn He's like the stunt guy's like why are you shoving him so hard? I go We just fucking talked about it like we just talked about it I said I was gonna shove him hard you said he goes not that hard What are you doing?

You threw him through the lock like you guys broke the lock. Yeah through the through the lock. Oh my god Tom That method acting is that what they call and then as our fight progressed another time daniel was like just go ahead and like I'll be laying here just like You know shoved me real hard like like up like I'm upset and like on the floor and I'm like Well, you know, should we put like a pad there? He's like no Like okay, and then he fucking throws his head against the floor. I was like, what are you doing?

What are you doing, man? He's uh Yeah, he went to the hospital He threw himself back. Oh, okay. Yeah, it wasn't me. I kept going like did I hurt you? He's like, no, I did it to myself Yeah That only happens with an actor in his 20s by the way Really? There's no fucking 50 year old actor who's gonna be like, uh, I'll go ahead and throw my head back real hard

No, no Yeah, he was um He was really really uh fantastic in that though um Well, look man, I this is just like I said, I think it's an incredible just I think it's an incredible feat to just get a filmate. I really do like every time You know now having worked on a few. I just go these are basically Impossible puzzles to put together and you

You did one man. Uh, uh, you wrote it. You directed it. You produced it. So Um, congratulations flinches available for rental Starting on the 21st. I hope you watch it. I hope you guys check it out I had a blast doing my part and like I said getting to be real mean and violent and like kind of Taking out my natural feelings, but in a healthy environment that's productive and conducive to emotional well-being Um, but uh, I'm proud of you man. I really am. I think it's amazing that you did this Yeah, well, thank you so much. Thank you for being a part of it. You kill it. It's such a great role

And I I really love working with you and thanks for having me on absolutely and um, let's talk soon We got other things to talk about. We'll talk soon All right, sounds good. All right Cameron. Take care man. Bye Cameron Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Finish that sausage. You look delicious There you go. There you go. It's exciting. You know what's interesting is your casting is really violent asshole That's your lane You're good at playing an a-hole and you're good at being violent Pretty exciting. I had a lot of fun doing that. I can't believe it was that long ago. I know god

Um, but yeah, Cameron man. He is one of those guys that he gets it done. He's awesome. Can't say no um, another one of our favorite stories of the year has been about Ilaria Baldwin Holy shit and this thing. I like that one. We have very few ingredients. We have tomatoes. We have um A condescending cucumber. Cucumbers. We have um red pepper. The best, right? Red pepper. So people Are so obsessed with this story and I can't blame them because it's the best and they've dug up Um, I guess she's been on podcasts and they they pulled these Pulled a couple clips from of audio only but the story if you don't know is that Alec Baldwin's Wife now is named Ilaria. Birth name is Hillary and she was born and raised in Massachusetts

Her parents retired to Mallorca Spain. She spent some time there, you know on trips as a kid, but apparently she's been Like acting like she's from Spain It's a victimless crime as we were talking about other ones before it is a story that just like selling panties as a paramedic It is a victimless crime It is it makes me laugh so much because it's something I totally I kind of I relate to it like don't you want you want to be someone else at some point You're like very few people actually go do it and she you know She's inventing herself sliding under the radar with this story because no one really cared

And then somebody dug it up and they're like, oh, you're not a spaniard because she actually does speak really really good spanish and speaks it with a castilian accent and Changed her name from Hillary to Ilaria named her five kids ultra spanish names and You know had like a spanish themed wet like all these things and then someone was like oh, but You're not

And then she went on to say like No, there's you know miscommunication On this thing. I never said I was this I never said I was that well, I think the the explanation Leonardo Carmen Gabriela Eduardo pao lucas Romeo Alejandro David Rafael Tomas those are the kids names because I follow her on instagram and I hear her saying those shit all the time

Rafa, I forgot what I was gonna say now. Venya tala cena vamos a comer I forgot what I was gonna say. You said you're on ig. She's on ig all the time before that Well that she has kept this thing going but flying under the radar no one really knew and The story is really that she was like people were putting these this together piece by piece at first They were like, what do you mean? Like you hear the cucumber clip and you're like What is the english word for cucumber and then the accent would come and go People put together. I was gonna say I think what made it More what added insult to injury is that yes, it's not even a crime. It's it's the explanation videos

That really buried her because it was like seven minutes of just nonsense. It's like, you know I spent a lot of time in spain and then I spent some time in Boston and like I really I'm just I loving bilingual And if you don't you respect my culture. It was like, oh boy. Just family there. My parents live. Yeah, just come out and say it Like, you know what? I kind of I want yeah, I just I think spanish is cool. It's always better. I Fucking idiot. Yeah, I just like I may have embellished I mean, I know that's the way to do you go. I fucked up. Yeah, I was just trying to dunk man So

Yeah, I thought it was cool. Yeah, and like uh for a while. I'm pretending to be spanish I think I got caught up in it. I got caught up. I'm one of those people that was speaking a lot of spanish I fuck up english. What? Yeah, what are you talking about? Which is a half admission Yes, it is admitting to putting on kind of an affect or whatever either way It's a here's a great. It's a fascinating story It's my favorite thing to happen here is some audio that was Pulled from a podcast she did. Yeah that they've sent, you know since dug up about this So you say ilaria ilaria do people call you hillary?

Sometimes and you know, it's the same name. So it's it's fine. I mean, it's happy Right, but I found out that you are not from brazil. I'm not brazil. I have this vision that you and jazelle were on the beach together That sounds really good. Yeah, can I have a read you? Um, no my family lives in spain, okay, and I have moved to new york when I was 19 years old Wow Your english is impeccable. Well, we're not speaking both english and spanish. Okay, so um, so yes, and my children both parents are spanish My um, my family is mixed of a bunch of different things, but um, but yes, they all live there This is so it's a really interesting answer because nothing is a direct

Lie, that's lies by omission. Yes like from the very beginning of that clip It was like so your name is ilaria. Is that like hillary? Like that's the same as hillary. She's like, well, you could be like, well, my birth name's hillary My name is hillary. I just go by ilaria now Then it was like your english is so good and she's like, well, i'm american I was I was born in boston. I was raised there, but she's like, well, I grew up speaking both english and spanish Instead of saying, yeah, of course I speak good english because i'm from here Yeah, and then I moved to your family spain. I moved here when I was 19 not

I moved from boston. Well, the correct answer is no. I'm not from spain. Right, right the correct answer But your both your parents are spanish. They live there now. Yeah, so every time you're not It's omission. Yeah, but it's interesting because like we said, I kind of understand That in your head you're just like it's just way cooler to be spanish. It's way cooler for her The night the best part she goes I moved to new york when I was 19 and I never looked back like okay Well, theoretically, that's true. If she came to college or something from she moved from boston though to new york Right. See I moved to la when I was 22 right From pru from pru. Yeah lemma

Yeah, I um I was 22 I moved here and I never looked back to my country Oh, it's so good. Yeah, it's the way that she artfully dances. It is very artful and clever It's clever. Yeah, and none of those things you could accuse her of being of She's not lying. You didn't make a false statement. You just danced around the truth Yeah, the best is so your parents are well my family my family's from many different places It's like watching um cnn when they interview Some politician they never know. Oh, yeah, and they ask me directly. Yeah, and they're like would you vote to impeach? I think that

Everybody has a process and you're like, oh, so you just won't answer. Yeah, you don't answer the question. I got it This is another one of hers. That's also It's just it's cute. No, it is a spanish brand and So I've known about it since for very very very long time before I was in this country Now that one that was so funny. It's about the zara brand before I was in this That's funny because I learned about zara In 2000 when I studied abroad in Madrid. That's where I learned about it That's how I would say it

Yeah, when I studied I did I did learn about it before I was in this country When I was out of this country before I returned to this country Yeah, I learned about it in hungary for the first time I went there and buddha passion like oh, this is cool And then it's here, but I wouldn't say like When I came to this country, I so so I like this before I come to this country How do you say fashion Impouhas is that what is an impouha impouha means to push

To push someone Kamiseta. Oh, there you go I want her to return to instagram. Eloria come back. We love you. We miss you. No one's coming on the show We'll all be fair We still love you. Yeah, we love you. You've been really bragging about your posture not right now Come slouched over when you got out of the car. You were like check out my posture. I have a really Are you freaked out right now? I was like what?

I have really good posture when I choose to I've noticed because I forget But pilates that gave me really good posture I just wanted you to acknowledge because I feel as though I do a lot of really cool things around the house Or just in life and I don't get the acknowledgement I deserve I let out a really big fart this morning nothing from you silence 30 bucks. You could have fucking made 30 bucks I don't know how you're not on your IG being like you want these they're 30 but I just farted Do you really want me to start that business? Do I want you to? It's not that I want you to I thought that that was what your destiny was my destiny. Yeah

Yeah, put those sharp panties out dude travel panties would be the best Those are the gnarliest sitting and it's still one in that airplane for hours Oh gross So Okay, horrible or hilarious ready. I'm ready. What do you think of this one? Oh boy Wow, he's pretty good. I don't like where it's going I didn't laugh so I'm just gonna go with horrible I think it's on the line. You liked it, but I didn't know I didn't lol. Yeah. No one died. I fucking love this one

Okay, great. Okay. Um, here's another one This guy's uh, these always go wrong. Yeah Swinging swinging off the rope. Oh, you're gonna go swing off the road. Oh, it's gonna be the second one, right? Oh number three That's it, buddy. Now there's one more I can do it watch Oh He's okay. Ah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, are you all right? And he went That's okay. If he'd been like like panic, do I like Hilary?

This is mexican. Oh, that's being way. Yeah, i'm mexican Um, there we go another horrible or hilarious. What are they? Richard Ramirez? Oh, shit I think I know where this is. Oh, I like this This is not gonna work. She's twerking. Never dance next to an open window or in the open window I don't like that at all How far did she fall? All the way down buddy. Well, how far up is she? Uh, it looks like at least two or three stories Yeah, that's didn't seem like real panic from the person recording

They're like, mm-hmm. Let's go look out the window. We put it in our own music because they were dancing to something else Right. Was she screaming? Uh, I don't know Zola. Was she No, she seemed pretty. I don't think this was the first time she's fallen out and is our verdict that she's fine I'd like to think so. Okay. Okay. Oh speaking of fine A couple follow-ups here Um, the famous helicopter video that I got wrong Remember the one where I thought everything's fine Yeah

Okay, here's the uh email. Hey guys as a licensed helicopter mechanic I figured I'd put my two cents in on the guy getting hit By the helicopter rotor blade when the helicopter comes into land you can see that it's going uphill Being that a helicopter rotor is basically a giant gyroscope It does not slant with the hill but instead wants to stay at the original path This means the path was closer to the ground on the nose and further away from the ground in the rear Helicopter blades are basically invisible at night and during the daytime it is still hard to judge where they are There are super easy ways to avoid these kinds of accidents

Do not be underneath a running helicopter Unless you absolutely need to listen to the pilot because he can tilt the rotor blade up so that this thing doesn't happen Never approach a helicopter from uphill, etc. I hope this helps to answer some questions dave So thanks dave confirming that you shouldn't approach a running helicopter um I believe last week Was it last week that we had The uh elevator. I think it was right. Yeah, I'll just pull that real quick here. That was a crazy one

Was it considered a horrible or hilarious? I think it was right. Yeah, here it is All right guy gets on the elevator Drunk guys These guys are fucked up and then they just fall Through the elevator door Into what's getting faded bro. Yeah, and then you just see kind of a jump cut to them being pulled out But they went through the exterior elevator doors into an elevator shaft Really strange

But they both we can definitely say they're fine These guys are a okay All right, right. Yeah, so here's the uh the message Hey, I wanted to follow up on the elevator video. I'm actually an elevator technician. I've seen many videos like this It's actually not too surprising the doors you see in the video have plastic pieces at the bottom holding them in the Threshold on the floor here in the united states We have metal pieces in addition to these called fire stops to keep things like this from happening But elsewhere in the world. Let's just say elevator laws aren't as strict

The guys basically had enough force to snap some plastic and fall through the doors It looks like this is the bottom most floor so they fell into the elevator pit Oh, which is typically four to eight feet below the floor although If it's a bigger building it can be more most like they got some good bruises and maybe broke a bone Love the show by hitlers tom. Look at the diverse crowd. We have paramedics who sell panties sex workers Elevator technicians a lot. There's so many. Yeah Um, let's see if this is uh, oh, this is another Oh, yeah, this is one from from last week too that we had to follow

Oh, shit. Yeah, we were like, oh, what's going on and the clock is on a crane Whoops And that thing that thing got fucked up So we got an email Just wanted to confirm to the mommies that no one got hurt when that crane dropped the clock on those people in the lift That happened a couple years back In 2018 at Purdue University. Well, I was a student there I heard that shit crash to the ground from about 500 yards away while walking to class

So he's fine Slick stuff keep the clips coming tata their tic-tac stand. He said I heard that shit fall When I was in college. Yeah, you know, I heard that shit fall. Yeah I heard that shit fall homey heard that shit fall. He sure did I heard that shit fall homey. I thought you might appreciate this. I'd like you to pay attention Okay, bros if you don't mind. Oh, no, is it a scrum lick? No, it's not. This is just a woman Women are fucking stupid I know she said it

This is a woman is married to an nfl player. Okay ready. I'm ready He's a highly requested nfl wife not routine I start by drawing my husband a bath and then getting him comfy cozy for the evening Making sure he stays warm and his muscles are great Tucking him in there and then he requested chocolate chip brownies So I bought him those the healthiest ones that I can find And then I made him a peppermint mocha latte with whipped cream Which he loves to have every single night as he's watching tv

And then I started to wrap his christmas presents. He said he didn't want to do presents this year But I got him a few just in case Yeah, all right guys, so today i'm gonna show you what it's like to be an nfl wife first things first I get up at 6 a.m. And make some eggs for my husband This is my life and then I add a lot of sugar in the eggs because he actually loves sugar and syrup in his eggs And then he's going to go ahead and eat without me because I have to make the bed really quick And there you go. Then I give him this jacket and his iron clothes for the day I got eyelash extensions. So I look pleasing to him and then I cleaned his shower

That way he can take a shower later and then he left his clothes on the floor for me to uh fold. So yeah Seems like a real even kind of leveled relationship, right? Well, if he's making all the money women should clean up unprompted prompted My card never gets declined Because of overdraft protection I would say the first half of this is what I do for you Where I'm like, I don't I take you I may clean you. I bathe you I milk your d

I make sure you're relaxed before bed. I lotion you up I bake you sweet treats and feed you didn't I do pollo secreto yesterday with bacon wraps You did great. I love you. I take so much care of you. Yeah, where's my latte at night though? And also, why are you eating with me when the bed's unmade? He eats like elf though. He's got syrup in his eggs But also being she was just like I do this and like I'm picking this stuff up and he was Like his face was like, well, he's in the nfl. He's got to conserve his energy He's got a lot of running and stuff to do. It's a lot. Okay. So you're actually all right. I thought you might react a little different

Can I tell you something? But here's that's their arrangement. It is the arrangement is that she cooks and cleans up unprompted Yeah, and he makes the duckets. So that's how it goes. She's like, I got my eyelash. Then then that's why I look pleasing to him That's that's what he wanted. Jesus Check this out. That's what she wanted. Check this out. You ready? Let me see. This should make me laugh so hard Unprompted he's trying to ignore me Could I tell you That's fucking amazing. The reason that this really tickles me is that this is one of the

This is one of the first things that made me laugh when I was in the hospital Like when I was in the hospital and I'm talking about like early on like maybe I don't remember if it was pre or I'd probably post surgery, but I'm like fucked up, right? Like everything hurts. All you're thinking about is your pain all day And you know, I would go on social media, but you know, you'd be unmotivated. You read something and then I hadn't really laughed and I saw this dude doing a ridiculous purposefully over the top

walk and And then he captioned it. He's trying to ignore me because there's a guy next to him who Is like not yeah, he's he is To like pretending to have a severe disability, right? Um, but it's he has to he looks like a cerebral palsy. Yeah, but the guy next to him He tried to ignore me. That's fucking amazing. I laughed so at the end he's like See this made me laugh so hard. May I just point out the healing

Cleansing power of tiktok. Yes. This is a tiktok. This is why this is the best thing that's happened. I agree I agree. I can love tiktok. There's um, yeah, it's it's real. I just love it. Yeah, that's it's pretty good He's trying to ignore me. It's all about the captioning too There's um Where is this here? He's trying to he's trying to ignore me. There's a mccanae updates I didn't know we were getting oh, well, he's out promoting his new book and so so green lights is his new book Um, I guess he's been putting a lot of messages out there. Let's see Oh

2020 you year of wooders cutters and limbo's of the maybe so's yes You made us look you in the eye and recognize I love and now as we stabilize organize and get on the ready to respond We have to reveal and revive so we can testify Ah It's on you. It's on me Green lights, baby. Let's go. What? I don't know. It's a high eye not a low eye Okay, I don't know but I gotta tell you I like it. I like it. Who the shit I'm talking about

It is girl motherfucking oovy I don't know. I just I you know what I'm I like it. I like that he is who he is, you know I gotta check in with him and the e He's just doing his thing and stuff like that. Look at that. Look. He's so intense. Super intense He really is that you need like the intense actor guy. Well, yeah, he's meant to be a part of the ecosystem You know, yeah, he really is like you're weird and you say shit like green lights

I know everyone's the fuck are you talking about but this is not an act No, it's who he is who he is and you know what? God love him for embracing that because as I'm learning in my middle age We were talking about this yesterday, right? I'm 44. I am halfway dead And you said no Christina. You're halfway alive And that really resonated with me because I only have a few more years left, right? Two and three. Yeah. Yeah, you may as well just start letting it go Okay, just be wild. You may as well just go wild. I think you should embrace

Like you should embrace those voices of Being weird. Yeah saying a weird thing. Yeah, who gives a shit Um trying things. Yeah, I mean like surfing and whatever shit you want to try You should definitely do it. This is the time to do it. What's your middle age crisis going to be? Um I don't know you're older than me. I haven't really Only wait three years. Yeah, it's like feels like 50. Well, are you gonna have affairs? I mean probably more cars more cars

um But you know cars Probably I like cars like cars more than affairs. Yeah God, I mean I am down 23 pounds. Are you gonna go now out in the world? I'm probably gonna lose like 20 more and then just kind of you know, sweet. See what's up. Stop it Ha ha ha ha Uh, I'm gonna follow bow house again. Oh, we're here What do you say we forget the marching bands and pep rallies for a minute?

Just set aside all the stunts and charades just rain it in Let's find a little sanctuary. Shall we the fuck that's a Lincoln ad No, you know, he writes the no, no, no, that's a Lincoln ad. It's not it's really his post I hear you and now I see you My oh my I'm starting to sound more like myself and I actually think I do this seems to be true somehow So keep these impersonations and impressions coming in Uh, because one you're making me live longer by the laughter. So thank you for that consider my my funny bone officially tickled Uh, be sure and tag me artificially mcconahey and hashtag green lights book

In the meantime small times Just keep living come on. Wait, what's that? He's threatening the elbow you I'll fucking get you I like it. I like it. I like it. I'm telling you. He's gonna be our new neighbor Bro, I'm down. What up massy mcconahey? Come over. Seguras invite you over. Let's get weird dude Let's fucking wild out. Let's have some barbecue. All right And elon musk. Let's hang out, bro Could you imagine a dinner with matthew mcconahey and elon musk? How wild would that be? You talk about some wild shit, huh? You could definitely talk about some wild shit. Yeah

Do you think you could talk about this to you describe what we're seeing here? Okay? Go ahead The guy's going into it looks like a locked door. Maybe a hotel. Maybe a bank Oh, oh when he just dropped the loaf he pulled his pants down dropped the loaf of shit pulled his pants right up That was it. Good to go. That was a really efficient dump and see if I saw that guy Like walking through the lobby. I'd be like that's not the guy that took a shit by the no fucking way I mean he's got I mean he's murdered out, but he's you know, he's wearing looks good putting this stuff together, right?

Could you shit that fast? I don't think so. I don't think I could shit that fast I don't think so native I couldn't keep my composure the way he is bro. He that was Uh, solid work. That was a lot like the timing on that shit and one more sparkling. I'm so sorry Shit on the I'm gonna clean it up. I got it. Go to cops on me. Why? Because you shit on their car dipshit and you're taking a shit right here. Why don't you go in the store? Why are you shitting the parking lot?

Then there's there's like the ultimate level If uh, you really want to go for it That's what happened to me at the austin airport Why would she record that I wonder why how did she have the forethought? She knew she had something special in her dude. If I could record my dump in austin, that's what it looked like brown water I mean it ricocheted and then But she intentionally set herself up to do that Where did you guys find it?

She claimed that it was an accident an accident Like I think that she was bending over to pick up pants and then that happened, but I don't believe Did this person message us directly? No, it was uh, it was sent in. Oh my god That's solid. That is an incredible amount of shit. But bro. She outdid the guys so much. Oh my god I'm gonna feel I'm about to get sick. What you should be proud of her. Good job sis I love when the ladies out do the guys Think gross shit. Is that the kind of thing you want to kind of?

It's kind of awesome. Hi How are you? um It's been a while I like already tanning in california And having sex usual for me because I'm yeah Cool. Um, yeah, cool guy Yeah, uh last night I was in, uh, Manhattan At a bikini bar the best time of my life did cocaine off a girl's titty went to the bathroom with her after that

Proceeded to have sex with her three times three times throughout the night obviously because I first round I'm like 12 minutes The second round was 40 third round was 55 minutes And my dick is probably Over average for a white male At the height of 510 The cool guy club This guy's so full of shit. No, he's not. I look good. How'd you do see?

And um, who's the best? Oh, what's that brand? I'm wearing Gucci. Oh He's got everything. He's got it all Wow. Yeah, he's got he's really got what a stud. There's a cool guy Oh my god Why are you so jellies? I'm because I'm jelly. You're so jealous because this guy's got it all. He's tanning in california He's at the kimi bar doing coke Sex three times first time 12 minutes then 40 minutes then 55 minutes

He's got Gucci. He's fucking living doing cocaine. He's banging chicks. I mean come on I don't feel so good about myself anymore. Gosh, man. He's the best You're really cool. He really is a cool guy. Very rare, but I have to take a pee break Yeah, awesome pee break time. Go for it Everybody peed pest did you wipe a white front to back you should have left it in your panties Gotta keep throwing money in the trash Oh man, I'm so fired up for this Okay

I think uh Mine is probably the most boring because I should tell you mine first. You have one. Well, sure All right, we'll start with you then my dental update is that I had a cleaning set for the fourth Of january. Yeah, and I was just like, yeah I don't think I can be in a car that long to drive there and back and they were like Okay, call us when you want to reschedule Okay, that's my dental update and have you called to reschedule? No, it's too much for you right now You got a lot going on. I'll do it in a month. I would do it

Yeah, let's do before we go to austin so that if you have any issues you can resolve them before you go I would suggest now As you remember last time I went for my dental cleaning and I thought I was doing well with flossing and brushing apparently I heard them say some fours I got a a little bit of a talking to you want like ones and twos right on the gums. Yeah So I was ashamed and this woman the the cleaner gave me Uh, this dental sticks and I she flossers I floss now I went back She couldn't stop raving about how clean and perfect my teeth were

Thank you and I owe it to her and I used the uh Toothbrush and I get in there But it's those those sticks that I use third high marks as they say high marks high marks And so I'm really proud that I rubbed it in her face that stupid bitch last time she would complain about That oh, you know flossing right and she gave me a fucking lecture. Fuck you now. I'm back on top So also nadav has a very exciting dental. This is exciting. Let's hear it. Let me down. Holy shit Yeah, so after being on the couch, uh at the end of the year Pretty much the biggest thing I heard is holy shit. What the fuck is up with nadav's mouth and uh

That really had me look inwards. I was like, what is up with my mouth? And uh, I've decided To make an appointment for not only a full teeth cleaning, but a full whitening session in the same session Wow Now first of all You're right your teeth are fucked up and they're so happy for you that you're taking this step No cavities though because of my act of saliva. Are you sure about this? I mean, I see. Yeah, I mean also We can make some wagers. I am a bedding man Okay, well, hold on you said you were doing the whitening and the cleaning in the same sesh

Yeah, and the dentist advised against it as as would I but I told her I don't know what that pain feels like yet So I'm gonna go ahead and just experience it on the day and then decide after that to never do it again Should we have Lindsey go follow that? That's gonna be ridiculously painful. We can't get any because of covid though Okay, listen, you're gonna want to to separate them both giving me looks like I'm making a huge A huge huge First of all, when's the last time you had a dental cleaning? I'm guessing never Okay, no, that's how many how many years has it been? Uh, I want to say probably close to two years Added to but but before that

Like probably upwards of five years Okay, it's time. It's time. It is really time for you to have your cleaning So here's the deal man, even with my stellar marks There are just some areas you can't get with the toothbrush They're gonna have to scrape and get a little bit like behind the back teeth It hurts like you leave there kind of you're sensitive They put straight bleach on your teeth and that that bleach does leak to your gums. It's not unpainting You feel burned for a little bit. You feel a burn. I do tell them that I'm a puss though

So they do inject me with novocaine before there you go. Then do that. You're good. Then you're fine. It's gonna suck You're just gonna have like a shitty day Um rat and then I'll come right here and work with you guys I can't wait to see your choppers. You're gonna feel good. It's gonna feel so good. I can't wait You're gonna look 10 years younger. Yeah, seriously whitening your teeth. It's a secret show business secret You whiten those teeth. You're gonna look 10 years younger. Oh me. Oh my you're gonna look so good. So good makes you look healthy I'm so proud of you. Congratulations. I'm so happy you guys are happy It's gonna be so it's gonna hurt so much

Yeah, you're gonna cry, but it'll be worth it. You're gonna look so good I'm so excited for him. Me too. It's a it's a really big step. Um We also by the way, I wanted to mention we watched star wars the original new hope Um episode four is the first so confusing. I know but we watched it And you had a realization which is that You now we're like, oh, I think I'm attracted to Han Solo But when I was a little girl, I love luke skywalker and I told you it's because luke is for girls Solo is for women. Yes, and that's what happened. You went from being a girl

to a woman Uh luke this is basically luke And then this is han solo. Yeah, I'm kind of coming Oh It's so true because look how cute like, okay luke skywalker is like the tween pre-adolescent girls wet dream. He's got blue eyes blonde hair. He's small and stature He's a virgin. He's always like we gotta help. Yes. Where's leah? He's a pussy. Yeah He's not gonna he's not gonna choke you and you know shove it in

Whatever He's just gonna be sweet to you and hold your hand now han Han's a real man. Who will fuck you. He's been through it. He's grumpy. Yo, you know, he's like, I don't know kid The fuck out of here with that shit. Come on chewy light this thing up. Let's go. We gotta fucking go Yes, my dick's all hard. It hasn't been empty in a while like he's saying crazy. I know he's essentially you because I figured out that I like grumpy. Yeah, like grumpy is a turn on to me grumpy masculine Yeah, there he is. He's all grumpy and shit. I like grumpy. If you put a beard on him. He basically is you. That's why I like it There you go. Yeah, yeah, like and he's all grumpy and and and what's her name?

Princess leah her buns are all sticky icky for him. You know years later She admitted that she had an affair with Harrison Ford during the filming of this movie shut up She's so great too. They had a three month fling in the on the first movie. Yes on this movie. I bet Damn, I would have done it too. Only three months, huh? Well, it's probably the duration of the filming Wow Or partially and you know what I noticed too is that um, she has like a British accent Isn't that yeah the first half of the movie when she's like help me obi-wan You're my only hope like she she does talk. She's talking to darts. She's like lord vader

You are completely out of line. Yeah, and then like the the last one she did. She's like, we just got to fight for this shit She's all middle-aged and broken. Yeah She's rad and you know what I like too that movie was made in 1977 and they made the princess character She's not helpless. She picks up a gun and she shoots and she's really it was the shit She was a shit and which was so progressive for the time And it's so funny because what are those nerds called the star fighters, you know, you nerds know what they're called No, the fighters on the good team. Oh the and the pilots the rebel fighters. Yeah, they're all fat as shit Have you noticed that they're all super out of shape. They look terrible

But I think that was endearing to all the nerds that you know love this movie. They're like that guy looks like me You know Because this is like nerd porn It is and there was like fat pilots and like yeah, they just look like regular dudes They should have had more ladies in the movie As the as this series progressed though, it got more. Yeah, like I know now there's a lady jedi Which is dope. Like I I still want to go to jedi training school. Yeah. Yeah after I finish my jason born school You'll go to jedi school. Yeah, dude. I'll be the ultimate

I wanted to tell you because you're about to have your midlife crisis One of the things you can look forward to is getting back on the dating scene. Oh, no and getting messages like this to you Hey, natalia. It's eliot. So I finally get my video see you up and running. I couldn't help myself I wanted to shoot this video to invite you to curio this wednesday at 7 p.m We could do six or eight depending on the schedule, but uh, my schedule is pretty tight when I'm not bartending I'm shooting videos like this outreach to the deadest get on the phone selling them taking care of their ads all that stuff so Look man curio awesome spot in german village. You've obviously heard of it before it is literally the best hidden cap jam in the city

I mean you got to go just for your own self-education of what's awesome in columbus, you know what i'm saying Oh say run eat o'clock eat 15 um Poof that's not over so you and I this wednesday 7 p.m. Look obviously i'm attracted to you you're attracted to me You're obviously a smart girl. You're about to be a dentist You know i'm a recovering attorney with an mba who's about to be a millionaire in the next 18 months building a digital marketing agency Well, it's bartending this was bad This is bad

This is what's going on. It's charles. This is making that look like Charles was nothing we are obviously two catches that have actually uh come together And I think we should definitely hang out man Let's not let let's not let ourselves get busy because I know i'll probably get super busy You'll probably get super busy and then life will just take us to our next course I don't want that to happen without us at least sitting down having a little chat Because while beauty is very common Beauty and brains is not and that's what always has intrigued me and then sure enough

That's what's intriguing me about you. So yeah, man. Let's chill. Let's hang out. Let's have a conversation get some cocktails chill Be a good time See you babe. Text me back if you're interested. Bye Oh my god Obviously i'm attracted to you. You're attracted to me. I think you just made her attracted to you Just decided. Okay. Do we have to go through it all? Like what's wrong? Let's chill You don't have to I feel like there's see you baby. Oh my god. It's so painful. This one's really bad. It's so hard

I feel so bad for him. Yeah, you actually you look real bothered because it's so like, okay I'll tell you what back Back in the day when I was single I got propositioned by many a gentleman, you know guys and I give them so much props because it's really hard to go up to a girl It's really hard and it takes a lot of courage and I was always respected The men who would come up to me But this is um other level embarrassing

Don't ever make a video like don't ever make a video. I go back to the Charles thing You know who's like our buddy now, but like when you watch that you're like just text He should have been like, uh Really wish I could take you to this place I mean I think to the fake background with the remote. Is that a green screen? It sure seems like it. Yeah, and then this And then like the hard sell And he was like i'm gonna be rich. That's where you really fuck up. Oh god. I felt you're like trying to go on a date

And you're like, uh, I'm gonna be rich. It's like I felt my bartending. Yeah, he did say wilst bartending. Yeah, that was pretentious. I just felt my vagina seal It was bartending Because actually at first I was like I kind of feel Bad for him at first when he was just like, hey, I want to Which go on a date and then he started going to like the resume and like I was like, oh boy Like when he started being like I'm awesome. I'm gonna be rich You're pretty smart. Wait, what does he do? He said he used to be a bartending but he's building a fucking marketing thing. I don't fucking

So you and I this wednesday 7 p.m. Look, obviously i'm attracted to you. You're attracted to me You're obviously a smart girl. You're about to be a dentist You know, i'm a recovering attorney with an mba who's about to be a millionaire in the next 18 months building a digital marketing agency wilst bartending So i'm a bartender Which there's nothing wrong nothing wrong with it. But when you dress it up, this is like when you meet people and they're like I'm in a band and you're like you're in a band and they're like, yeah, I sing in a band and you're like What restaurant do you work at? Yeah, it's that's called the la syndrome. I'm a writer, producer, director, choreographer, and I also wait tables at chili So you're an actor and you're a writer and you're a producer. Yeah. Is that how you pay your rent? No, so let's

Let's land on earth for a second. Okay God, it's so painful to hard sell and the thing too is that He's attractive enough. He's he's also nervous. He's nervous and he likes her his big mistake is all of it making a video Yeah, making the video He doesn't need to hard sell her. He's attractive. He's educated and when he said you're attracted to me It to me informs me that he actually Knows like that she has expressed Attraction in other words, then let it go

Exactly, you don't have to say it because she she already told you like you're cute or whatever So you don't have to be like you like me too. She already said it So he's asking for this is the video to ask for the day, but why is he begging for that? I don't know Why are you sending a video and he's like if you like this text me back? No, you text you send the text. Yeah Why are you sending a video and then he did the thing the classic mistake that unfortunately our beloved we love you Charles Charles did which was like 8815 I'm very pretty busy up to that like he did the thing where it's seven o'clock. I could do I don't want to wait It goes to like just wanted to do a video instead of a text or a phone call

No But just do the text or the phone call text. No, how about with a lady? But here's the deal A lady likes a phone call to ask for a date a text date. I think a text is like a stat like Short stuff catching up on stuff different, right? But if you're asking someone out I mean, I don't know. I feel like I might make the phone call That's what you did to me. You made a phone call. Yeah back in the day We were texting still we were texting and but to ask him me on a date. You did it properly proper like you

You ask a lady, but this is like, you know, you just add them on the gram. Yeah, and because you know, she showed this to everybody That's why it ended up here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She got this text and she was like And it probably She was like, oh, I want to go out that guy got the video and she was like this dude Because it's it shows a lack of awareness of what is cool Okay, play more. I want to see it again a little bit. You want to see it again? Just the opening because I was so mortified that I blacked out I um

I was so embarrassed for him that I like I couldn't take it all in Um, okay. Let me just see the opening again. God his hair looks bad too. Hey Natalia. It's Elliott So I finally got my video CEO up and running. I couldn't help myself I wanted to shoot this video to invite you to curio this wednesday at 7 p.m So that makes sense though now. He's got his studio. I finally got my thing. I couldn't help myself He's excited. Remember how charles was excited. He admitted he was excited to show you that his new office Yeah, he's the all like so the office was an upgrade. So it's like a little flex and it's like i'm in my office He's has the same inclination where he has a little studio space

And he can't help himself But to show it because you know You're thinking she's gonna get this video and be like holy shit. Yeah, this looks really good, you know Then you realize that it's also just um It's forensic evidence Yeah, you're a fucking tool Yeah, the tool police that you sent that video

Oh, shit, man. Okay more. He did do a great job with the uh With the green screen. Yeah, he did and then the whole like it's a fucking power point We can do six or eight depending on the schedule But uh, my schedule is pretty tight when i'm not bartending or shooting videos like this outreach to the deadest get on the phone selling them taking care of their ads all that stuff. So Uh, look man, curio awesome spot in german village. You've obviously heard of it before it is Literally the best hidden kept gem in the city I mean you gotta go just for your own self education of what's awesome in columbus, you know what i'm saying

I hope this video doesn't scare you Yeah, and then he's like, I hope you heard of it if you haven't heard of it. You're a dipshit Yeah, like you've obviously heard of it. You dumb bitch. Yeah, I don't like that at all But that tone and he's like when i'm not doing these videos and setting them out and getting people to put money on That's like, oh shut up. Let's not get too busy with our lives You know, uh, we are obviously two catches that have actually come together And I think we should definitely hang out man. Let's not let let's not let ourselves get busy because I know I'll probably get super busy. You'll probably get super busy

People get busy and life will just take us to our next course. I don't want that to happen without us at least Sitting down having a little chat Let's have a little chat. Oh, this is all going in so many directions and I think it I think at the root of it It's that he's nervous. Yes. So that's why it's like I'm talking about my career what I got you're busy the beauty and brains and we're gonna come together man You know i'm saying dog like yeah, I mean it's all loaded. He's nervous Which all that should tell you like this is what happened to me I would record let's say the same video. Yeah, and then I'd be like I i'm just gonna text

And I'd watch this back and be like i'm not fucking sending this no because in the beginning of courtship less is more Yeah less You want to you don't profess your love not in the beginning You want to have some mystery some mystery. Yeah, like you don't want to answer right away when someone texts you That's gross. You don't want to be too eager like this. It's gross. It's a turn off too available too available That's why this doesn't work guys. I know you think that you're impressing a lady But this is my studio. Look. I'm so busy like She'll know that when she gets to know you you don't have to profess you don't have to tell her

Right, right, right. She'll know if you're successful. Just how you are Or if you're gonna be even you never told me when we were both broke ass Come i'm gonna be a millionaire producer direct decor. I said no, I just knew the guy carried himself I knew you always carried yourself a certain way Then you had integrity and morals and a good work ethic. You were going to be successful no matter what Thank you gosh My favorite sound of the episode I gotta tell you yeah You really have a gift. Thank you

I'll forget I'll forget You know, I mean I'll forget about your feed and then I'll I'll go to your page and I'll go through your stories and it's just Home run after home run. Thanks, buddy. It's really something special That means a lot coming from you because you're the king above 18 who Likes tragedy and horror things and if I can impress you I feel like I've done it I think I think that just encapsulates the last year and change I think that's just everyone's feeling at some point this year and I just liked it for that reason

Yeah Congratulations uncle terry for surviving your fourth stroke That's it Do you think uncle terry's on tiktok? I don't I don't think uncle terry's on tiktok But again a great use of the platform someone who does not understand that this is not a private messaging server Congratulations uncle terry on surviving your fourth stroke He's living the first stroke thing

Yeah, I don't know what that guy I don't know. I just liked his stuff. It's original. It's fresh He's got a new take on things a new take. All right. I haven't seen anybody like him on the talk God Good morning, my kings and queens above 18 time to wake up. Okay. Come on. I'm up I let you sleep in for the last couple days. You guys are looking very beautiful today Like slack put them feet on the ground and take off run. Okay You enjoy your day and you have fun. Give me permission All right, the game's getting ready to go to work. Okay, you guys have fun and joy

You remember the king loves my queens and kings above 18 Tonight I've got a brand new shirt that I'm gonna put on my web On my you guys are gonna like it It also goes to you guys the kings and the queens So keep watching my videos tonight and I will put it on either tonight or tomorrow You guys are gonna like it. I love my kings and queens above 18. You guys have a good day You know, he really said a lot of nothing in that post. It's like he's the gift. He has the gift of rambling

Yeah, put your feet on the ground and I just sleep in a couple of days. Like what are you talking about? I also like I got a new shirt coming out and you're gonna fucking like it Okay And how do we get that shirt? You're gonna like it and you're gonna message me And then you're gonna Venmo me and if you're lucky, I'll fucking ship it to you He's getting a little punchy. I like it. I like it So when I've stumbled across How did you find that what I've been stumbling across lately

Are people who's first it's their first time making a tiktok For some reason I got into that lane and it's people who are just absolutely clueless about what it is What they're doing and also male foot fetish There's been a lot of male foot fetish lane that I've been getting into but those are harder to share I Just thought you would enjoy now. I did I love a good confrontation None of these people are wearing masks. The thing is the thing about this kind of fight that I enjoy too is like no one's really hurt

You know what I mean? They're both on the ground. There's some like dvds scatter They're like you bitch They're fine. What happened here. Well I don't know she's in her pajama bottoms and flip flops. I mean thankfully there's some talks Hello, I'm at the garden an intentional community where anyone is welcome at 89 Galen road Lafayette, Tennessee. I'm going to take a tour of it in the next upcoming videos Okay, let's go on to the next video. You know what I hate by the way

Is that anyone is welcome like there's a book that our son got and it's like Everybody's allowed to come to this club that I made. That's not how you should run your life You should be a little discriminating not anybody can come into your house Be your friend because some people suck and are not good people You know what I'm saying? Yeah Do you care to describe some of those people some shit fucks? Yeah scumbags people that cheat knuckleheads knuckleheads richard ramirez nazi nazi shoulders jews serial killers

Yeah, all those people I think we have a different list. Let's go to the next one Good morning, julia Wake up my queen. Yeah, somebody made him do come on time to get up, baby Yeah, the shades on this. It is 5 30 in the morning. Jesus. Why are you up? I don't know where You have to go today, but get up take your shower And have a good breakfast You guys need to jump on my page and wish julia

a happy day Today is her day. She is the queen Wake up my queen All right You guys have a beautiful day and I will talk to you later. He does Put your feet on the ground and take off run. Okay. We got it. Thank you. I love you my queen You have a good day. Bye. I would julia the king

and the queens Love you. Okey-doke. I would argue that some of his spark is gone Oh, he seems to be a little Resigned to the task of making these videos as opposed to the enjoyment and the thrill of creating the video interesting now that somebody's actually in show business They realize it's a business God damn it. It's late show friday monkey. Are they drunk? Yeah, damn it. See that's what everybody thinks Everybody wants to be the big tiktok star until you realize it's actual work making content and being consistent and doing the job

God and Here's my other suit and tie. I like this one a lot too. I could wear this one all day too If you notice this one tie is all black on this one So I did I did know this gentleman. He just shows you what tie he's wearing during the day Even the dove shaking his head at this one What do you think he's talked or is he just um, let's go to the next video Hello, everybody. I just thought I'd let everybody know that I've gone purple If you look at my head

As you can see My hair has been dyed purple. I'm waiting That's it. And then I just cut off anywhere. I like that's when you get a lot from the older talks Is uh, they don't know when it stopped Yeah, and also little known fact on tiktok. You may make your videos 15 seconds 30 seconds or like 45 a minute You can change the increments. So you They don't have to But they don't get it people just talk and use your cut and they just cuts off. I like that

If you gave her some d and she didn't fall right to sleep You my friend are a non-essential worker This lady is a fucking animal. Yeah, and I love her. Yeah, that is She's a good one. Yeah Yeah, she's great. She makes good ones. Okay, you gave her some d And she didn't fall right to sleep You my friend are a non-essential worker. Now I have a feeling No, that's a filter. That's not I think god. She's got to fall asleep, huh?

Yeah, gotta I fall asleep. I didn't know she falls asleep. Well This is one of those internet jokes that gets remade and remade, but I liked her rendition of it Because she really delivered it like she meant it. Yeah, so that was kind of cool I know you're having a bad day, but I hope this Cheers you up Here's a flex for you I Hope you enjoy

So I have a feeling one of ours wrote to this guy and said dude my friend christina p needs a shout out She's having a rough day gene And then he flexed for me. Are you jellies? Don't worry. I'm not going to run away with them Hi, my name is Clancy I see a lot of beautiful girls on here And uh, I don't give a fuck And I can't think enough notice There you go

15 seconds, that's all I can do. That's a good one. I see the beautiful girls. I don't give a fuck cut off What a nice welcome to the platform Stupid Can't you watch other tech talks to get an adjust of what they look and sound like like why aren't you watching other people? I think you're asking way too many questions Well, I'm gonna tell you guys a little secret Okay How to stay married

I've been more married I've been married for 46 years And I'll tell you how to do that When the argument starts Keep your mouth shut and go to the garage because you ain't gonna win anyhow Have a nice day. It's a real fucking dad answer to Well I hate that shit. I hate shit. Like when old guys are like, wow, my thing is

You just gotta let her win. Yeah Happy wife, happy life Yeah, these dumb brats the worst Always remember when you're at a thrift store and you're finding a cool item like this nemo statue to look at it closely Do you see that one of the coral pieces is broken? It's $2.99. It might still be sellable, but I passed That's a great update. Thank you for that Yeah, always remember always

Okay, sometimes I see some of these requests and I'm like I'm kind of curious look at this big beautiful croissant It's like the size of my face. All right. Let's go So I love her sam is her name. She's a she's a comedian on the tiktok. Is this what she does? Yeah, and so she just has a naturally large mouth and so she just runs with it and and is very charismatic It's like when you know, it's weird about you and you just run with it So she'll just put huge stuff in her mouth and it's really funny. Yeah, I really like her. She's got a great person Chris uh croissants and like, um, you know donuts and um different foods and stuff. That sounds interesting. Yeah, it's just pretty funny Yeah

So if you're listening there's a man on the subway with a pet rat and uh, he takes his mask off and kisses the rat before putting it on his leg and there's passengers that are around that are As upset as they should be Yeah on the subway mind you on the subway Oh, here's the latex guy. No, he's back. Good. Just showing you what he's into

Yeah There's a shirt and suspenders. Is this fun alone though? I feel like you know It's a good boy. Don't you need like a buddy someone to help? No to enjoy it with you. I guess right that would make sense Yeah, well the pandy's made it hard for everyone. The pandy the pandemic. Yeah, it's true The pandemis. Um, well, those are a great great batch of talks. You got it. Really appreciate that. Um, that's it Yeah, this last one It just feels so good to go through the mall. You know, yeah Just time flies when you're talking

There's some good ones in there some really upsetting ones, but some good ones in there too I found there's a lot of like weird alone guy action right now on my feet. There. There's a lot of that a lot of wags Um, as a reminder to everybody before we leave here, don't forget Christy P and I are going On the road again. So there are shows. Um coming up. Make sure you go to tomcigura.com Slash tour for mine christina p online dot com slash tour for hers and of course We are doing a live streaming special event

February 7th the day of the big game the nfl's last game live stream dot ymh studios dot com For tickets burt krischer myself and the great warren sap will be out here We will watch the game together. We have some prepackaged stuff that will play throughout the show We have a new home a new Website server hosting bay everything is new to avoid any technical problems So i'll hope you'll join us. We're really excited about it There's new merch in the store if you want to go to store dot ymh studios dot com

There's a whole bunch of stuff in there And I think that's it gene that's in my genes above 18. Um our closing song if you would like to know is Uh Millie tom by rick g So here Millie tom 10 million the bank got a clearing got a bad bet you just got a caring 10 million today 10 in the night i'm feeling kind of high but i gotta go and right

So I do okay now i'm chilling with push-up in the stool We be making that money gotta spend it for a plan i'll be trying to raise a family I'm just trying to be the man now it's time to go to work Time to go to work I do it for the genes now i'm trying to go berserk 10 milli tom hired in a palm. I don't know if you've seen it, but the new special to bomb I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom

I'll be popping I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom 10 million the bank got a clearing I just got this new whip caring staring 10 million the way i'll be losing sight I'll be writing mostly stores now. I'm on the fly Feeling kind of thrilled white girl corn rolls when a crazy bill Disgraceful completely normal this bitch about hug now. I'm feeling formal

I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom I'll be popping call me 10 milltons I'll be popping I'll be popping I'll be popping I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom I'll be popping I'll be popping I'll be popping I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom

I'll be popping call me 10 milli tom