Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 592 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to save $225 on your order - Go to https://stamps.com/ click on the Microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Go to https://squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - When you purchase a three month subscription, https://Babbel.com will give you 3 additional months for FREE with Promo Code "MOM - Go to https://theragun.com/MOM and get your Gen 4 Theragun today. Go to https://hellotushy.com/YOURMOM get 10% off your order and FREE shipping - Go to https://brightcellars.com/YMH for 50% off your first Bright Cellars box. WHAT IS UP YOU CHOMOS?? This week Tom Segura and Christina P discuss CP's bangs and potential nose ring, questionable goblins in Harry Potter, Tom's hotel sushi ordeal, and Charo getting high over the weekend. They review listener submissions for the "animal" challenge, read emails from a self-proclaimed straight gay guy as well as a woman who received worn panties in the mail by mistake. They watch videos of a guy who got caught stealing a package, a cool guy's dying wish, the problems with white veganism, and an Albanian Christina P lookalike. The Main Mommies also play a round of "Horrible or Hilarious?" and watch this week's batch of TikToks.

You go, oh, and I'll give you an all-expenses paytrip. You and your friend. And I was stupid enough at first to be like, oh, cool. But it's my money, too. And then the dog reminded me when a dummy I was. Remember I ate dog food for a ring? Yeah. Like, okay, it's my money, too.

I could have just bought myself a ring. I mean, here's the thing. It is, but it's not. Tom! Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. What is up, you chomos? It's going to be a good day. Welcome home, Bobby Schmurder, whole GS9 squad.

I'm sure you're happy to have him back. It's really good. What? I don't even know what that means. Yeah, well, good buddy of mine just got out. Now, it's going to be a fun episode today. It really is. There's a lot of good stuff here, man.

I'm really excited. I just got back from doing stand-up. And I have to say, you used to come back and you were like, oh, I'm going to do a stand-up. Back from doing stand-up. And I have to say, you used to come back tired, bedraggled, upset, and you're invigorated. I am so joyful.

I am so thankful. I want to say thank you to everybody in West Palm Beach that came out to the shows. Brest Balls Beach, Florida. Came out to the shows. I did nine shows there. Jesus. And it was an absolute thrill to be back.

I feel like a human being again. I feel like myself. I feel like you're not going to find any buried bodies anywhere for a long time, thanks to my experience. And there was lead in your pencil. You came back hard as a rock. Yeah. You need my dicks all hard?

Yeah. A little bit. I mean, I was invigorated by the experience. I know. And you came back and you were like, I'm ready. Like a bull. Hey. Huh?

You want to fuck? A little bit. You almost pushed our children aside. I was a little afraid for the lives. That's how much fun stand up is. I know. I just want to fuck when I'm done with it. Jesus Christ.

Is this airing on Wednesday, this episode? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Can I plug my Houston? If you tickets left on the first night, the 25th and the 26th, I think the weekend's gone. I know you guys, I'm so sorry, Texas.

You guys went through so much shit last week. It was really horrible. It was so horrible. Hard to watch and I'm happy that you're listening to us if you're able to. Okay. That's it. Houston, Nashville, Common, Des Moines,

and then San Antonio. And that's it for now. LOL. Christina P online.com. L-L-L-L. We'll be at the LOL club. Lolls. LOL.

That's stupid. No, no, no, no, no. So. Lolls. Lolls. Ooh. All right, what do you say? We start this motherfucking show.

Let's turn this motherfucking podcast out. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? Let's do it. Here we go. Enjoy your drink, enjoy your cigarettes, whatever you're doing, enjoy life. That's what matters at the end of the day.

Get fucked, you know. Get someone to shag you, man or woman. Who cares, you know? Enjoy yourself. You know? And I would love to die being shagged. I would love it. Literally in every position possible.

On my back, on my front, really give me a good going that. And then literally die will come inside me. That's how I want to die. LOL. Jesus. That's beautiful, man. That's it, big guy.

Who is Randy? Don't bring in what doesn't fit. Yo, mama, the biggest fan! Welcome, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With a sincere and cool message. And Christina, because it's Christmas. Welcome to your mom's house.

Meow, meow. Oh, man, I'm in a good mood. You are, you're giddy today. I know. And this, this, I, I just, Zolo just showed me. This is what I got here. Just this first clip of this guy being like, I want to die with a common me.

I think he, I don't know if he's actually dying, but he's like telling people, like enjoy your life, live your life. And you're like, oh, that's kind of inspiring, you know? Yeah. Do things that make you happy. Get fucked in every position. Okay.

Then he's like, that's how I want to die. Yeah. Which he goes on. Let's go and let's see who else he goes. Hold on, can I read the one? I like how people are writing. I'm like, I can't believe I'm sat here at 9 a.m. listening to this waffle.

That's the best of these, these British comments. Oh. The insults are different. Like to call somebody a waffle. It's hilarious. I guess it's really fucking amazing. Listening to this waffle. Yeah.

You're a muppet when you call that guy a muppet last week. You fucking muppet. A waffle. This fucking waffle. Having a guy give me a good, really good going at. Yeah. That's how I want to go. That's how you want to go.

And that's how you got to look at it, guys. You got to look at your dreams, what you want in life. What? I'm a nice, sexy. You was p.m. stuff. You know, 23 year old and that guy. What? Really hot stuff that wants a nice fat man.

Put his hands around my tits, touch my body. Really give my good ass a good going at. Yeah. Fuck me, silly. Make me sniff poppers. Oh, cool. Do them a lot, you know? Yeah.

I've only did poppers once, but even if we don't do poppers, if he really gives me a good going at, I'm quite happy to leave. Quite happy to leave this shit fucking world. We are great, Brett. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy, silly, come in my heart, come over my face.

I am happy. Yeah. And that's what matters, guys. That's what matters, guys. That's what matters, guys. That's what matters, guys. That's what matters, guys. That's what matters, guys.

My dream is to become all over my ass, come all over my face. I'm quite happy to leave this shit whole. Yeah. I love that this whole speech is like two degrees from being truly inspiring. Like there's a music bed and he's like life, you know, like go after what you want, chase your dreams.

And you're like, this is actually beautiful. And he's like, with come though. You're like, hold on. What? He's like, get fucked. Sniff poppers. Yeah. 23 year old just destroy me.

Live life 365. And leave this shit world. But it's not gay. It's still not gay though, Tom. That's true. But don't you agree with him? He's right. Clearly he likes the right things.

He likes to eat a lot. I like to eat a lot, drink and then get fucked. Right? Yeah. I mean, you're right. These are all important things. I think he might die of a heart attack before he dies of cum.

Live life 365. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're hard. Play hard. He's really fat. But it's nice that he wants the guy to touch his pits.

Yeah, it's nice. That's my hole. I'm so glad that we've left that guy. Oh, really? That's where it spits. Leo? I'm glad we've departed from Leo. Can we not go back then?

Come on, Mark. Don't be stingy. Yeah. Maybe they should get, oh yeah, Leo's not here either. Leo lived this guy's dream. Let me see all that gum. All right. God.

But men are, you know what, though? It just goes to show that men are simple creatures. I feel like ejaculating. Men are simple creatures. And I wish more women understood this. I think that women have psychological problems from avoiding, accepting the reality of how simple men are. I know when I put.

I see these women go to such extremes to like, in their mind, be attractive or pleasing to men. You're like, it's not that complicated. It's not. And I feel as though I've tried saying this on stage. And people are like, whoa, you can't say that. I'm like, well, it's fucking true. It's like sandwiches, sex, and fucking sports.

That's it, bro. It's like most dudes. Most dudes. Normal guys. That's like normal. Yeah, and of course, some men don't like sports. OK, replace that with fucking. Whatever nerd shit Chris is into.

Chris, what are you into? Video games? Yeah, video games, movies, stuff like that. So just give him sex, fucking some food, and Fortnite. And he's thrilled. Yeah, he likes his non-bread or whatever weird vegan stuff he's into. And then easy, squeezy.

Women are complicated. Exactly. We are the ones that have him. We have actual thoughts in our head. We care about other people. Life isn't centered around our genitals as much as it is for men. Dumber than shit, for the most part.

But let's give you credit, though. You guys have built societies and civilizations. We give you full credit for that. But how do you do that? Because your preoccupation with your D seems to be the overriding. We did those things to impress you. I love it.

I fucking love men. Every man's accomplishment is so that a chick would touch his D. Everything. I fucking love it. And can I tell you something? I respect it so much that I even got, I went to the groomers and I got my hair cut. This for you.

Because I like it. Because it makes your dick hard. And that, in turn, makes you happy. And then you go to Florida and do nine shows and bring home paychecks. And I'm like, well, that's how it works. And I feed you a sandwich. The cycle of life.

Like it makes sense, right? I was like, hey, banks. Cut your banks. Because I know it makes you happy. It makes your dick hard. It does. It's the talk of the town. Everybody loves it.

It's the talk of your family. Yeah, they all love it. Yes. I personally, however, I am indifferent, but I do it for you because I know. But now you like it, right? I mean, I'm indifferent. It's a little more work for me, and I have to style the banks.

OK. But I like that it makes you, it gives you pleasure. I do like it a lot. So what happened that you made the request? Like, what went off in your- We were just talking about, I don't know, we were talking about I think that maybe you were going to get your hair done or something. Yeah, Alan was coming.

Yeah, so I said like, oh, you should do the banks again. It's been a long time. It's been a long time. And I think I'd, oh, I'd seen a photo. I'd seen a photo. A wedding photo. I have these in our wedding photo. And then I just was like, you know, and you, I think you said you'd think about it or something.

I don't know if you were going to do it or not. I did it for you. Thank you. Let's see how easily pleased you are. I was very happy. And then I pushed for the next thing. I don't know if I can do it. So now Tom wants me to get a nose ring.

Yeah. Not the doorknocker because everyone's like, who's the doorknock? That one's aggressive. Just like the little, the little thing. The problem is though, babe, is that that's really trashy. And I'm like, I'm a middle-aged mom. Well, I gotta tell you something. Really trashy.

I'm totally okay with how you feel about it. All I know is that when I see them, my dick gets hard. I know. Well, hold on. Do you want just the stud or do I have to do the hoop? You don't have to do anything. And I'm cool with whichever choice you make. But just know that if you have it in, I might be drippy dick all day.

But here's the thing. I have to parcel these things out because I've done the bangs. Now this should run you for like at least how long? No, you got some time. I got time on the bangs. You definitely have time. Because your dick can't stay hard for the next 10 years. Oh, you want to challenge it?

I know what it is about these fucking nose rings. You love nose rings, but they are trashy as hell. I don't think they're trashy as hell. I think that's quite a reach. Hey, Nita, Google, do an image search of girls with nose rings. And let's see. Hold on. Should I take my dick out right now or wait a second?

I mean, I know Rihanna has one. I think that looks really cute on her. That's a lot. I don't like the way that one hangs so low, but. Well, how high do I have to get? Do you like an Indian one? Like how that cheeks got it like that? That looks great too.

Yep. That's what you're talking about? Well, I'm talking about all of them. They're nose rings. They all look good. She looks great. She doesn't look trashy. I don't know.

She looks beautiful. I would make love to her mouth, that girl right there. What about that one there with the bar in the middle? Yeah, pass on that. Yep. That cheeks. She looks like she's going to take a load right here. She can get it too.

With that nose ring. Yep. I just don't think anybody will take me seriously with a nose ring. Well, there's only one way to find out. And here's the. Here's the great thing though. Yeah. You can take that shit out.

I know, but then it'll leave a hole. How long? If it's big enough for the rest of my life. Okay. But here's what Tom did and I'm such a dipshit. You go, oh, and I'll give you an all expenses pay trip. You and your friend. I was stupid enough at first to be like, oh, cool.

But it's my money too. And then the dog reminded me what a dummy I was. Remember I ate dog food for a ring? Yeah. Like, okay, it's my money too. I could have just bought myself a ring. I mean, here's the thing. It is, but it's not.

Tom. Yeah. We know what daddy does on the road. How dare you? How dare you? I mean, wouldn't it feel good though to have your husband be like, oh, where do you want to go? You and your friend.

And then I give, like, I present you with like two first class tickets and hotel. Yeah. And I go have fun and you don't have to be like, you know, it's just like a, it's a thing that's, you know. I know. But I have first I go, okay, I want to go to Africa. I want to go to Cape Town. Yeah.

I was like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. And then you backed out. You want to do a 16 hour flight from Atlanta? Yeah. Okay. If you really want to do it, it's done. For the nose ring.

Yeah. Shit. All right. Let me think about it. I'm going to think about it more. And like I said, I'm a little worried. You're going to go to Cape Town, get all these African dicks all hard when they see your new nose ring and then you come back with the hiv.

Well, now that's not where it grows. That's where it sits. They do have an HIV prop. They did when we were there a decade ago. Yeah. It didn't go away. It's still there. It's not as bad as Botswana, but it's, you know, you have to make a vow that you won't

bring back HIV. Wait, you know what's interesting? I won't make, I won't bring back HIV. I promise. Okay. You know what's funny about guys being dumb is that, okay, but you guys build civilizations and stuff and you're so explain that so that prime motivation is just to get women to touch your penis.

Absolutely. That's every man's main, like even when they don't recognize that it's their motivation, it's their motivation. Right. And if there were no women, you guys fuck each other, but I'm saying like, but then civilization wouldn't thrive, right? Probably not. No, you need women.

Now, interesting. Now, because men have so much access to sex now easily because of apps and things, do you think men's drive will go down? Because it used to be that sex wasn't as readily available. No, it'll never go down. It doesn't matter how accessible you make it. You know, that's so true because in the 15 years. But the society has devolved quite a bit so that men don't have to, like men used to

go shoulders back and, you know, just try to really be sweet to a lady. Yes. That's that's different. Gone. I think, I mean, to an extent, yeah, yeah, they don't have to court a lady. Not the same way. Not now. It's just swiping on her.

But the funny thing is, it actually is on the women. So like, it is on the women go like, I'm not taking this shit. Then guys go, oh shit, I know, up a little bit. I know, that's why I liked Bridgerton, because it's about courtship. And like, if you love a woman, you got to wife her up. You got to marry her before you dump clips in her and treat her like a fucking lady. Not the shacking up. Oh man, I love this show so much.

What is this show? You saw me watching this. You made fun of me for Bridgerton. Remember? That's the Duke and there's the Duchess. And then by episode five, it gets so horny. Where are they? Well, it's a fictitious town, Bridgerton.

It's England. And I mean, how hot is the Duke? I don't know. Where's the Duke? He's the guy behind her. There he is. I can't really see him. That's a...

You got to fucking a dog. That one right there? He's a good looking guy. It's handsome. You wouldn't fuck that guy? I mean, I'm not gay, but a lot of straight guys fuck guys, you know. Dr. Joe Court told me all about it. We've been learning from this TikTok.

Now hold on, I had a thought about men being dopes too. Yeah, because in the 15 years we've been together, Tom, I don't think we've ever gotten to an argument where you were like, I don't feel like you're validating my feelings or like you never bring up any kind of issue of that nature. That's like me being like my feelings and then you're always like, what? No, I mean, I'm not like, what? I have said, like, do you understand why I'm like, why this is my position? Like, do you understand where this is coming from?

I mean, I'm not like, I don't feel validated and feeling neglected right now. I'm like, I'm not like some dumb broad. I'm not some dumb broad. Jesus Christ. Stupid. Hi there, my name is Dr. Joe Court and I'm going to give you reasons why straight men have sex with men. They're not gay.

They're not bisexual. My whole specialty is with male sexual fluidity and what I always say is that when women have a non-heterosexual thought, we give her wiggle room, but we fetishize her. When men have a non-heterosexual thought, we stigmatize him and we tell him he's not straight. False, wrong. I really want to get rid of this myth. I really want to get rid of this stigma. And if you stay with my TikTok, you're going to hear all the reasons why straight men have

sex with men. I'll see you later. All right, thanks. I love you. Dr. Joe Court, really interesting guy and that is a clip we've played before. And then we got this email. It's a really interesting email. It says, Hey, mommies, I'm a 30-year-old straight white guy who has engaged in multiple

homosexual acts throughout my life as a straight man. I have both given and received anal and oral sex from men on multiple occasions and I have enjoyed it. The reason I identify straight and not as gay is because I do not feel any attraction to men whatsoever. I just love sex and frankly it is way easier to find a man to have sex within a woman. I feel like it's worth mentioning that I have no aversion to being gay and would happily embrace that as my sexual orientation if that's how I felt.

The main difference is that it is impossible for me to have any romantic feelings of any sort about a man. I have never been in a relationship or even attracted by the idea of a relationship with a man. Coming just feels good. And it feels good to make someone else come too. I realize I might not be 100% straight, but I know for sure I'm not gay. All right, my king and queen above 18.

Have a good day at work. Bye. I'll talk to you later, my beautiful king and queen above 18. All right. Bye-bye. That's perfect. That is perfect. But how about that?

Hey, very interesting, right? Praise Allah. He is not, he's not a homosexual. He might be bisexual. Okay, you come. But why, why place labels on people? And maybe this is the new, you know, this is what's going to be in the future, is that we just stop putting labels on everything.

I think that's been what's been happening over the last few years, and it will continue to happen. Yeah, that's the evolution. I mean, actually, I think the opposite's happening where we're obsessed with labeling. Right? Yes. I am a demisexual, pansexual, buying on, calling in. The truth is that sexuality is this fluid, you know, thing.

But I've never, you know, I'd never seen somebody with a message like that. You know, I have heard of this before. Massage your little hole. Massage. He does not speak English properly. Who says massage? I have no problem swallowing. But you know what could be this guy's email?

I've heard gays say this before. Tom, are you paying attention? Yeah, I am. Is that it could be his own internalized homophobia. Meaning he could be like, yeah, I like banging guys, but I would never have a relationship with those guys because those guys are gay. Those guys are gay. Where, you know, instead of being like, I'm open.

Yeah. Maybe he's maybe he's a homophobe himself. I don't know, man. I don't know. It's like... Because when you have sex with guys, are you like, I can't... Well, I'll tell you that. Okay.

So I was in West Palm for almost a week. I fucked around with different guys. It's not gay, though, when you do it. Yeah. I was just like, what are you doing right now? Plus it's more like a dick massage. Massage. Yeah.

Massage my hole and my dick and balls. You just need the release. It's not about who's giving it to you. Right. Yeah. Doesn't matter. Yeah. Four guys in five days didn't seem like that was too much.

That's not crazy when you think about it, because you would have masturbated every day on that. Well, I did. Afterwards, when I was thinking about them, I was masturbating. So I was able to do both. Right. Can you stop doing that? You know what? It's so windy outside that the,

I think the wind is making boogers happen. It's windy. The Santa Ana's are just blowing. Okay. All right. This is maybe my favorite thing that's ever come. Do you remember we put out the big titted challenge? So the big titted challenge is that you announced the audience.

I call you a big titted animal and how that makes you feel special. And so I propose the audience do call your significant other big titted animal, but don't do a bit. Get a genuine reaction and see what happens. So they sent in some videos. You want to see? 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,720 It's pretty fantastic.

Hey, big titted animal. Pour me a shot. What the fuck did you just call me? Big titted animal. Big titted animal. Is that what you just said? Hey, what's wrong with that? That's rude.

That's a compliment. Big titted animal. I'm not a fucking cow. Not like that. No, like a sexy bitch. Then say sexy bitch. Not a fucking cow with giant teeth. I didn't call you a fucking cow, baby.

Big titted animal. Fuck you. See? See? That's what I'm saying. So that's Tyler. Thank you. No self-respecting woman would tolerate being called a big titted animal.

Here we go. I have emotional issues. Hey, big titted animal. Babe. Look how comfy that couch looks. That dog. That's Tara and Danny. I love their life.

He looks really good. Hey, babe. One's dinner going to be done, your big titted animal. Oh, that's a double way. What did you say? I said one's dinner going to be done. Yeah, but what was after that? I just said one's dinner going to be done.

No, what did you say after that? I love this. Big titted animal. Excuse me? Who's the animal? I just said you're a big titted animal. Who was the animal? Who's a big titted animal?

Okay, who's the animal? Oh, I can watch these all day. That's Danny. You're Steven. Amazing. Oh my god. That's the big titted animal right there. Yeah, huge.

Massive. That's how much women love compliments. She was like, really? You think I picked? That's the sad part because in my brain, I continue to allow it because on some level, I go like, it's a term of endearment. Totally is a term of endearment.

Big titted animal. Yeah. You're a big titted animal. That's Heather. And here's a bonus Zara here. Let's see. Frighting's not that easy, but Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct,

but it's wordy and hard to read. All right. Come here, you big titted animal. Nice. So you guys get it. Chicks dig it. Use it in public. Use it when you're picking up girls.

It'll always work. Yeah. If you're at a bar, it's like, hey, you big titted animal. What's going on? I swear they'll love it. God, babe. I really love the upset the wives were like,

what the fuck, dude? That's how you should react to being called a big titted animal. That's not normal. Check this out. This is a video that was trending of a, you know, people steal packages all the time. I know. That's so fucking rude.

Look at this. I hate that. The ring camera. This guy parked his car. Yeah. He's just walking up to this house. Picks up this package. Oh, shit.

Watch this. Put my shit back on this fucking board. Oh, shit. Look at it. I'm sorry. You got to have the money fucking brought. You're trying to put my shit back on his mother. And that guy drove away.

His getaway car was like, later, bro. And this guy's got an AR-15 in his fucking hand. Damn. That's got to be his, he does that all day. He's almost going to chill right by the door. Yeah. And just watch people walk up to my house.

It is wild. I mean, I've seen so many videos of people walking up with his stealing packages. So terrible. You got to be a real fucking piece of shit, man. To steal somebody's Amazon. And you know, they're waiting for that. You're a real fucking scumbag.

Well, and not only that, how high ticket of an item are you going to get from Amazon? Well, that's the thing, it's always an expi- Now, there was one guy. Shampoo. Real clever dude. I wish I knew his name on YouTube that made a famous video. Like it has millions and millions of views.

Where he, it had happened to him. And he's a really smart guy. Yeah. So he was able to put a device in a package that when it was opened, it would have a glitter explosion. Yeah, it's great. And then he would record people. Is that what it is?

Yeah. Mark. Oh, the glitter bomb. Yeah. 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:33,560 So funny. 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:34,600 Mark Rober.

Man, and then he had a camera in it that sent a signal to the cloud so that he could show you the person opening it. Yeah, these are people that stole his shit, you know. But still unbelievable, man. Or skunk fart spray. Oh, man. Yeah, that's a real shit move.

Yeah, you deserve it. You deserve anything and everything bad that happens to you. But again, I mean. I wish they would put fucking pieces of metal and glass in those things. Shrapnel, yeah. And then if you open someone's package, you lose a fucking arm or an eye.

Or what were they, anthrax. You know, like back in 9-11, they were handling anthrax. You should just open a box. It would be great. But haven't you accidentally opened somebody else's package? It's never inspiring. No, it's never good. It's fucking food for their horse.

Yeah, you're like, I don't want this. It's the worst. It's the worst. Oh, it's socks that don't fit. But it does make you definitely think about the Saudis and chopping people's hands off, you know. That's how you go, bro. Now, speaking of packages, we got this email.

Hi, guys. So I got this package in my mailbox, which was not meant for me, but for the house around the corner. When I saw that it was, I genuinely, oh, when I saw what it was, I genuinely pissed myself laughing. There's no way people actually are sending things like this just in mail, so blatantly. Anyways, my dilemma.

There it is. Sniffpanies.co. This is the package that she got. I now have this package, which I don't know what to do with. Do I drop it off at this man's house? Yes. Look him straight in the eye and just give him that look of, yeah, I know what you're up to, or do I send it back

and hope they don't deliver it to his house. Big love from Ireland. I would say don't. You don't have to shame him. You could just, if you know where he lives, place it at his door. Maybe leave him a note. Be like, hey, it came to my house by accident,

and then winky face. I got some freshies over here. Yeah, by the way, you don't have to write to them. I was gonna say, yeah, save on postage. You got a panty maker right here. I've been farting all day. Get him off. Real talk, I would just put it in their mailbox

and not say a damn thing. I think that's a good call. Just don't say a damn thing, right? Don't say a damn thing. So I was with family for the first few days. You were gone for a long time. It's not for a full week. I know.

We missed you so much. I missed you guys too. I missed you guys too. I missed my... How horrible is it to be with your family for so long? Just anybody. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot.

But I mean, I was able to have some good times, you know? Yeah. Hanging out. If you were following my Instagram, I hung out with Charo quite a bit, and I got her high. Yeah, tell them about that. Well, now I'm telling it on stage, and it is murdering.

Good, because... So it is crushing. But I basically, she had asked me for a gummy, and I was like, yeah, I'll give you one of my gummies, you know? And then next up, she didn't feel anything. Because I take the mild edibles. How much?

How much is the dosage? Okay. And she was like, I don't feel anything. So I gave her more. I don't know if I can... Let's see if we can try calling her. By the way, when I take edibles, I take a five milligram dose,

and then I eat half of that. And like, I'm good for the night, and that's me. And she's not a regular pot. No, not at all. She never answers. Not everybody's a dog. Yeah, she's not.

She's fucking... I like how the dog's proud of his pot tolerance. What does he eat? Yeah, what do you eat? I'm not proud of it, but I mean, just 10 milligrams is fucking nothing. Right, so what do you take? For you guys.

I just smoke joints nonstop. But if you had to do it with an edible, what dosage would you go with? I'd probably start at 50 and then go from there. That's pretty strong. Wow. First on people. Okay.

First on people. As if any buddy normal is like, I start with 50. And he watches drumline. That's why. Yeah. Yeah. God damn.

Okay, so... So, can you pull up my Instagram? If you go to my Instagram, I posted a IG TV video talking to her the next morning. Dude, I laughed so fucking hard at this. Like, that one there. Look at her. She looks so fucked up.

That's the next day. That's the next night. Oh, no. Scroll like a minute, yeah. Completely frozen. Yeah. I mean, helping to get here to my throat. So, I was convinced that I was dying.

I couldn't breathe. My body didn't move. But you also kept saying, and you said it today, that I was definitely trying to murder you in a clever way. I can't get 100%. I can't get 100%.

I mean, I desperate with effort. I text you and I said, Tony, please, I need you. And I came. No. You answered, okay. Okay. So, 10 minutes later, I said, please, please.

So, you came and you said, repeat after me. I am not going to die. I am not going to die. I mean, I remember everything, Tony. Yeah. Yeah. And you were completely... Relaxed.

Relaxed. And I, hold on. Don't forget. Don't forget. I sat with you on the bed. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. You didn't sit with me yet.

No, no, no. I sat. You said, let me give you a son. Ah, no, no, no. You're twisting this up. All right. Let me give you a son. No, no, no, no.

You sat, listen. You sat on your bed. She's fabricating with you. You're like, I'm panicking. I'm dying. I can't open my throat. My lips aren't moving. You sat there.

I said, wait, wait, wait. I was trying to get you. I said, I said, okay. I said, you need to take some to relax. First, we came out here. I brought you water. I sat with you. That was the second time.

00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,600 That was two minutes from dying. You were not two minutes from dying. I felt it. I felt it and you didn't give a shit. I did. I just, I just. Dude, yeah.

So you can go, if you want to watch the whole thing, it's almost 18 minutes on my Instagram, but she was killing me. I mean, she was so funny. So funny. So wait, the first night, 10 milligrams, and she drank wine and she. Nothing.

She was like, I don't feel anything. But you know how people are like sometimes like new consumers, like whether it's smoking, you're like, sometimes first times people go like, I don't feel anything. I remember that even as a teenager. People are like, I'm not. I don't feel anything.

Yeah. And I was like, okay. I just, the next day. And then by the way, after that, she goes, maybe I should take two more. Like I was like, okay. Well, and you didn't. So she did double her dose.

She did. And then she was bonk like out of her mind. And did she drink too? Was it alcohol and? No. It was, it was. Just the pot. Yeah.

It fucked her up. And she was like, she was like, my lips, they don't come apart. She had cotton mouth, you know. And do you have video of her high? Yes, I do. Do we have it? I do have it.

Should I send it to you? Yeah. I'll send you this. I'm dying to see her actually high. She's how, but how great is it that your mom in her older years is getting cooler and cooler? And usually, is that what happens to people? I mean, usually you get more and more conservative.

Yeah. She's like getting cooler. So this is the two of us. I'm going to email it to you. Okay. This is the two of us. This is just a short clip. I'm not putting the whole thing on there yet.

This is us fucked up. And were you high too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was on like 40. To whoa. 10 milli Tom turned into 40 milli Tom. Yeah.

Damn. Stepping it up. Stepping it up. Damn. Not a quitter. Not quitting at anything. This Pandy. The Pandy tolerance up.

Got me thirst trapping and. Yo, can we talk about that? 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:56,840 Help me. Yeah. So I've noticed we both noticed people on Instagram have been thirst trapping. It's been going up.

Up. Up, up, up. And like from people, I'm not going to name names, but people that were acquainted with. Who have no business thirst trapping. Like, I think everyone's reacting to this year differently. And some people are going the whole like, I need to be naked on Instagram.

It really has. Which is fucking wild. I have nothing but empathy for them though. I really feel like everybody's behavior is directly correlated to the world and you go like, you know what? This person needs. Comfort and validation and approval right now. That's how I see it.

I used to not see it like that. But now I go, those are the circumstances. But you do see the need for it much more. Like people are really. Now there's levels of thirst trap too. There's the blatant thirst trap. Which is like. Let's go top tier thirst trap.

Or you want to start up on top. The most top. I felt uncomfortable following. I don't even know this woman's name, but there is a lane that is just. It's like near pornography. Where I saw a woman. Covered in oil in a bikini.

Where the bottom. Just was a thin. Thin fabric over her couch. And her legs were wide open. And she was like, this is where it is. And she's covered in oil. And I was like, I can't believe Instagram lets you post this. And that so that's like the highest level of like,

do you want to fuck me? It's thirst thirst. It's so thirsty. It's parched. Yeah. And the whole point is that because the, I mean the goal. That's not a post where you go like,

hey, this is pretty, you're attracted. It's so lacious. It's sexy. No, this is like. Fuck me. Yeah. Come inside of me. But here's the deal man.

While I die. But do you think, first of all, the conundrum of the thirst trap is that those girls never actually put out. Sometimes they don't man. I remember that like the worst thing. What? The worst thing about these bitches is like when you,

there's like this thing where. When you're out there and you know, in the, in the world navigating the chicks, like the ones that lead with sex, like sex foot forward. Yeah. A lot of times are the lamest. They don't put out.

Or they put out, but they're like cold in bed. Like you're like, oh, I thought you were like. A party. A super hoe, you know, like. It's like, no, it's all a show. And then that quiet girl that has an oversized sweater and stares at the ground. She's like, I'll eat your ass out to start this thing.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's neat story. Thank you. That's what I've been told is that the, the biggest thirsty girls online, all they want to know is that you're J and you're D.

That you're desiring them. But not that you, they're not actually going to J or D. They just want to see you in the comments being like, you're so fucking hot. And that's what that's what excites them is, is knowing that guys' dicks are hard. I can't believe like the second part of the trap. Like scenario, like the comments,

I can't believe, I can't believe. You guys are like, I love you. I mean, I'm, I get it. I know how dumb and simple we are, but like, oh baby, just let me, give me one night with you. Why are you putting that out there? Do you think that's going to get anywhere?

I've been there. Like you see every time a hot chick posts something, it's like, God, I want to fuck you. You're like, that's what you think's going to. Well, and then there's a thirst trap that posts the thirst trap photo. Oh wait. So then that's the ultimate.

That's the ultimate. Okay. Now the, here's the tier. I don't know where this goes in your lineup, but the one, it's a girl. This is a female thirst trap who, it's not her primary gig to usually show their bodies. Yes. There are something else.

And then they'll post the body shot and then shame the men in the comments. Oh, that's, yeah. For posting on their body. And it's like, well, what did you wait? You wanted those comments. Of course, those women are reprehensible. So like the idea that they go like,

here's an overtly sexy photo. Yeah, like here's my tit and I'm covering it and then I'm going to show you. And then people are like, nice tit. And she's like, can't somebody just post a photo? How dear are you? Why are you talking about my body? This is patriarchy.

Yeah. And you're like, it's no, you're asking for that validation. Right. Then don't post that photo. Yeah. If you don't want to deal with the comments. Right. Cause that's why you post the photo for the comments. Here's an idea.

Turn your fucking comments off. Or just turn them, exactly. And just get the likes, get the hearts. Okay, if I were going to post a thirst trap, it would be for that. Just give me the hearts. You don't get to dictate what the comments are. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they'll argue with the men who are like, you're so fucking hot. I was just, I had just come out of yoga and I wanted to share how well I felt. It was a nude yoga class. God. Yeah.

So with women, like the hint of thirsty trap is like a cleavage. Usually like, you know, like you're covered up and now there's like, some cleavage. Sometimes like, there's like, there's traditional frontal cleavage. And then, then side, side meat, like a little side. Side tit.

And then they'll hold, they'll hold it. Or you have to hold it. They're just wearing like a really revealing top. You know, and then it's like, it's clearly like, look how great my tits are. Sure. So you're like, okay, like you're asking for this attention with the photo.

Then you can do that with ass, obviously too. Like, turn, show the ass. Hey, look how cute I look in this, these pants. And then if you want to ramp it up, it's bikinis. Bikinis are more, more direct and over. And then sometimes it's thongs. And it's like, I mean, you're clearly saying, look at my ass, right?

Of course. I mean, that's why you would post it. But then a lot of times, like I said, girls who aren't models or whatever by nature will be like, stop, don't shame, stop shaming me. God, I was just at the beach. I was just trying to show how nice the beach was. That's the best part.

And then the ultimate, to me, the workout post is always the secret thirst trap. It's a kind of a humble brag. Like, look how I work out. I take care of myself. And then it can go into thirst trap, depending on what they're wearing while they're working out. Because I don't know about you,

but I generally don't wear flattering clothes to work out in. I don't wear like belly tops and my tits don't hang out. Yeah, I mean, there's like... I look like I'm gonna, I'm sweating and I look like, shit, and I would not want anybody to see me working out. It's not cute. For like, yeah, a workout thing for me is like, it's gonna be more like about the intensity of it, I guess.

It's not that you're shirtless. No, I wouldn't be appealing anyway. If I do see, I do see the, see with men, you can actually disguise your thirst trap. Because as a man, you could work out, let's say sleeveless or shirtless and be like, it's all about fitness. But if you're super yoked, then you're clearly saying...

Showing it off. But then you could be like, I'm not doing that. I'm just working out. Just wearing a shirt. Well, I think that kid from 90 Day Fiancé, who lives on the farm with his family, is a little thirsty when he wears those tiny... How he wears like tiny...

Cap sleeves. Tiny, tight sleeves. You fucking, what you doing, homie? Yeah, that's a, that's a funny one. It's a funnier thing, actually, to study of like... To see men thirst trap. Because they're definitely doing it. But I feel like it's not, it's not as, I guess, blatant,

you know? And so you don't actually... Yeah. You get to say like, no, no, I'm just, I'm just out here hauling sand or whatever, you know? But yeah, you're, you're showing off, you know? Yeah. But it's fine.

It's fine. It is fine. It's a, it's a victimless crime. It totally is. It's, it's, it's just funny. We all want approval. I don't care. Of course.

We all want to be told you look good, your desire, everybody wants that. Why do you think I cut... Did the dog groomer bangs for you? Groomer has it. Why do you think I did my hair transplant? I'm sorry, I cut it, but I did that for your... But now you have the option to grow it out or not.

I can grow it out whenever I want. You can shower, you can brush, you can swim. It's my hair. So, do you have my mom high? Okay, here's a moment. This is just a moment of us hanging out. This is when like at the height of her being super high. Oh my god, I love it.

Yeah. Then you look at me. What do you think is funny? Is that the cup...the glass? I can't see that one. I can't do it. I brood to sleep at this height. Oh, she's higher.

She said I...I just saw the dog, and the dog's not here. You have an issue with me. That's just a little clip. Oh my God. She was loaded. Wow, that's so great. I basically almost had an aneurysm in the rest of that video. I was laughing so fucking hard.

Well, she seems happy. She seemed to be... She was totally happy. She was laughing her ass off. And you know what got her? Because you know, like, it's always like a silly thing when you're high. I was like, do you guys not have glasses? And she was like, why?

And I was like, a glass of water. She was like, she's like, you made a cup? That's what she was laughing at. I was like, there's no glasses in there. And she just kept like... She couldn't even sit up. She was laughing so hard. She loved it.

Yeah. Well, you know, I'm happy for you guys. You've really come to a new level in your relationship. I think once you can get high with your adult parents, don't you feel as though that's a new avenue in your relationship? It's kind of special. Now, the fucked up part, though, is that it is over forever. She's like, I will never...

I know you tried to kill me. I know I was close to dying. So the whole next day, I was like, I brought all these gummies for you. And she's like, I don't want any of them, any of your murder drugs. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's over. But it's better than, you know, years ago. I mean, we were like, you know, always fighting. So like, things like this were happening. It's better for you. All right, you little bastard. Okay. You want to challenge my pack?

Why hate to say this, but I'm not the alpha that you want to challenge. Because my true alpha is right there. So if you want to challenge one of us, you have to go through all of us. I love it. Is this a talk? It should be a talk. I feel this was a lane. God, I love that you want to fuck with me.

You're going to mess with my perk. Can we do a YMH? It's not right, alpha. So true. I'm back. I stepped down because I had to. Now I'm back. So you want to challenge?

Let's challenge. You want to fight me 101? We'll listen up. Well, he was my trainer. So I suggest you shut up and set your ass down before you have to deal with him. And I'm ready. Remember we were saying that guys are dumb?

Yeah. That was pretty cool. It's proof. I don't know if I want any peace to those guys. They seem real tough. They're real tough guys. Yeah. You don't want to fight.

No, that was really. Why did that bum me out? I feel sad. I don't know if I. Like what did we see? Was that? Do you know what I mean? What did we just see?

It's just a fucking close knit family saying don't mess with us or you'll have to fight us. I think you guys should do a video like this. That's what I want for the YMH family. We'll get that. I'm going to think you're going to sit up front. And I'm just going to point to the guys that taught me how to fight. Yeah.

Who's the toughest? Is Tom the toughest alpha? Yeah, he's the alpha. Yeah, but no, this is supposed to be like the staff only video. Well, and he could beat all of us in arm wrestling. So I think he's going to be the one that's going to be the one that you're going to point to. Yeah. And be like, he's my trainer.

You have to deal with him. And then I want Chris to just lean on your shoulder. Yeah. And she doesn't even get her phrase out. No, she tried to. He was like, shut up. I'm about to fight. God.

Tom, can you please play the video that I was laughing at all? It's a reels. I don't know. The one I told you to prep. That one right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please. Sure, here we go.

This one. Hold on me. I set this up. Yeah, set it up. Set it up. This was sent to me by a listener on the gram. And this is real. This is real.

And also, like, reals fucking sucks. We all know this. I've tried to do a deep dive on it and make it as fun as TikTok. It's not as good. But this gem really stood out. Go ahead. Okay. I laughed for 10 minutes alone.

When you fail to account for white supremacy and veganism, you get white veganism. We must address the role of white supremacy and the oppression it creates no matter if we are vegan or not. White veganism focuses solely on animal liberation while ignoring the context of colonization and imperialism and how all of this impacts all living beings and the planet. Now, all white people vegans are white vegans. Our veganism must be intersectional, accessible, anti-racist, anti-imperialist, and decolonized. Okay. Do you even know what you saw?

Not really. I watched it so many times and I still don't. It's just a lot of catchphrases. So what is the premise of this? Well, that white veganism sucks because it colonizes people and it's racist, imperialist. What white veganism is as opposed to just veganism? But just so you know, not all white vegans are white. Not all white vegans are white vegans.

Don't forget. So we're not saying that all veganism is white veganism. If we're not going to address this, we're not really doing the work. What? I don't understand anything that I said. I really don't. And I'm not even shitting on it. I just don't even understand what I said.

I don't either. And I really tried, really tried. So now there's like, it's not, now you can't just be like, I'm a vegan. No. Hold on, hold on, asshole. Are you going to not address imperialistic colonization and the racism associated with your veganism? Like, what the fuck, man?

It's not eating animal products. What? I know when it sucks because I feel like the vegans are pretty conscious, conscientious, right? As a group, you're going to be pretty with it, I imagine, socially. Yeah. And you've got to also, you're really paying attention to stuff. Yeah, because, I mean.

And then they're going after those people that are really into stuff already. Like, leave them alone. Okay. What's the problem with white veganism? Yeah. It's outright racist. The problem with white, okay. White veganism is dangerous.

This is from an article written by Juliana Yazbek. It disregards the fact that the meat and dairy products are inherently colonial legacies. It comes charging in on its moral high horse and forcing its beliefs that veganism is the only way forward overlooking the truth that the white population, popularization of plant-based consumption is only shifting unethical food production from meat to plants. Get the fuck out of here, man. Take that shit down. I don't even want to talk about this anymore.

This is so, that's too stupid to fucking embrace. I'm not going to... It is so stupid. Yeah. Go fuck yourself. It's so go fuck yourself hard, all of you. Yeah. It's so dumb.

And especially... You want to protect the animals and not eat them and any of their products? Hey, that's great. You're going to bring colonization into the... Like, get the fuck out of here, man. It is so R-worded and especially in light of everything that's happened this year. There's people just looking for shit together. In the world.

They're just looking for shit. That's what I'm saying. Like, you didn't get bummed out enough this year when so many people died from a pandemic. You're still worried about white veganism right now? Dude. Get the fuck out of here. I got to tell you something.

I did a dad boner thing. I just remembered the super dad boner. Yeah. I got... I actually... I actually didn't post something because I realized how boner I got. When I first got to Florida, there was a big thunderstorm. I love a Florida thunderstorm because they're so intense.

There's so much... Like, you know... I've been here 20 years. I've never seen it one time be equivalent to like an afternoon shower in Florida. And there was a big evening thunderstorm. Uh-oh. And I was recording.

I was like, look at these thunderstorms. And then I kept recording. And whenever there was lightning and thunder, I was like, whew! Yeah! Look at that one! Look at that one! Prominences.

I have a video of it. Oh, can we see it? Should I send it to you? Yeah, it's too funny. Prominences. Yeah, I was like, Prominences, look at that lightning. But how good did it feel to be a dad boner?

Like, did you understand what I got you? Yes, yes. So what changed in you? Because remember, we used to make fun of these guys and now you've become one. So what happened? You know what? It's that you feel like you're sharing something with somebody

who hasn't experienced it. You're telling them where it's exciting. I think that's where it is. And also, don't you think you're... Because that takes a level of innocence and sweetness. Yes, it does. You got a little sweeter over the years. Yeah, that's true.

Well, I was screaming about thunder. Point of personal privilege, Tom. Yeah. I appreciate you not yelling at the thunder because I am very sensitive to your sensory overload. Yep. I know how it goes. Let's see you.

Anti-racist, anti-imperialist, and decolonized. Oh, that is so exhausting. So exhausting. God. I know. Oh, so apparently there's a... There's people dying. There's a video where there's a look-alike of you.

Have you heard of this yet? Me? Or you? No, you. You're the one that has all the look-alikes sent to me. This says that... I haven't seen this yet, so I don't know if we're gonna be like, that doesn't look like you at all. I'm point of personal privilege.

But this is supposed to be a reporter that looks like you. Oh, okay. Ready? Sure. Here we go. Oh, gosh, actually. Actually, the fact that you did your bangs takes away, because that's more of you like a week ago.

Yeah, she does, actually. Well, I guess I'll be going to Albania soon. She's Albanian. Oh, for sure. That's my tribe, too. She's right next door. Eastern European. There you go.

There you go. Little... That's your jam. Have some rough edges around her. Yep. You know, a little attitude. A little street dog in her. A little street dog in her.

Like that. You could just pick her up off the streets for fine her. Clean her teeth. And then throw her back out there. Throw her in the trash. Yeah, nice. No, back into society, not in the trash. Okay, are you ready to see me dad boner out?

Dude, I've dad bonered so hard on this. Oh, yeah, yeah. This is just... Prominences. Just thunder and lightning. And I'm like, whoo, look at that one. I'm so excited. I mean, look at...

It's big. It's heavy rain. Yeah. I was trying to get some lightning. It's big lightning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thunder and lightning. Yeah.

Love it. Are you high? Really comfortable. No. Come on. Guys, look. This is a beauty. This is totally genuine.

I love it. I'm not even pretending. You're sure you're sober here? Yes. You were so excited. You were so happy. I was so happy. That's a good storm, though.

Yeah, look how happy I am. Look at that. Yeah, it's definitely rain. It's rainy and rain. All that thunder and lightning. So good. But do you know what, though? I think it's this year that's made us

appreciate the little things even more. Like now in the mornings, I really appreciate when Bitsy comes to say hello to me in the morning and I look into her eyes and we make meaningful eye contact. It's like the, and our kid gets in our bed and watches cartoons, those little moments. I love so much. I've also, I'll be honest with you,

I am much more like this since being injured. I don't know what it is. And I'm also like way more social. Like I reach out to people way more. It's good. I don't know. I'm always like checking on people, checking in with people. You know, are you okay?

Like just talking to people more? This accident has been nothing but good. I got a lot of compliments on the merch we've been doing. My cousin, Shadi, really likes the t-shirts that were made. And I don't know if it's all good. That fun video went by. I'm going to get a nerve test done on my arm today. Really brought us all together as a family.

No, but it has made me way, I don't know why. It's made me like way kinder and way more thoughtful. And I've been, yeah, I've been like way more social. It's great. It's strange. You've been, can I tell you, you've been a lot kinder since your accident or just more centered a bit. You take things a bit slower and you're not as distracted.

I think it's centered you. Yeah, it had a strange like grounding effect. Yeah, you should do this more often. Can you break something once a year maybe? Please, no. Just to get enlightened? Please, no. I love it.

Yeah, I think it connects you to humanity more. I think so. To have something traumatic happen to you. Tragedy. I think that's why. Suffering. That I've been like really into connecting with people more.

Definitely. Yeah. Oh, definitely. There you go. There you go. Fuck like four guys in West Bumpy. So I wanted to bring this up to Nadav if you wouldn't mind googling,

uh, booba. B-O-O-B-A. It's a cartoon our kid watches. Booba, do an image search. Nope. That's not it. B-O-O. There it is.

Now, I'd like you to look at the features of this animated show. We watch every morning and I'm wondering, is this anti-semitic? Nadav? You're asking me? Yeah. Well, I think when in doubt, it is.

If you have to ask, right? It's like, oh, I don't know if I could say like, like whenever you preface like, oh, I'm not racist. I'm not anti-semitic. Like you are what you're about to do is. Oh, right, right. So if you even have to wonder. Hey, man, no offense.

But yeah, it's always something's going to say something that really hurts you. But yeah, this guy looks really Jewish. Right? Now, there's nothing quite like, I don't know if this was brought up big time and I just didn't catch it. But in the Harry Potter series,

when they go to the, what is it? It's called the Green Guts, the bank. Green Guts. Green Guts, G-R-I-N. Nam, G-R-I-N-G-O-T-T-S. It's like you haven't even read a Harry Potter book. Nam, as nam, Green Guts. Green.

G-R-I-N, Green Guts. Yes, Green Guts bank. There it is. The goblin. Okay. But then, okay. But wait, now, now. This is anti-semitic.

Wait, wait. Type in, type in goblin. Green, like, switch out bank for goblin. Like, because you're watching this and you're like, this is where all the money is kept. Right? All the money is kept here. And then these guys are in charge of the money.

Yeah, it's a little. It sort of feels stereotype, right? Yeah, this feels like propaganda from the late 30s, 40s. In a certain region or country, if you would. Yeah, I don't think it, it doesn't feel like American propaganda to me. It kind of feels like Deutschland. Little bit, little bit. But then, like, you watch, you're like, so wait,

they go into this place and then there's a bunch of these dudes who are like, we've got the money. And then they give you access, they count and give you access to the money. Yeah. Nobody ever. And they're mean and stuff and they're shrewd and they carry the keys. Doesn't it feel a little. It feels a lot.

Yeah, it almost feels like, you know, I don't know if Warwick Davis is Jewish, but I feel like maybe they should have had a Jewish little person maybe play this role. Maybe. Is there any, was that, was there controversy about it? Well, I'll tell you what, so J.K. Rowling. She's had a number of controversies. The author of these books has gone through so many rounds of stuff. They accuse her of being anti-trans.

Whatever. All goblins. Oh, are the goblins in J.P. J.K. Rowling, J. Putter, anti-Semitic. But are we just contributing to white veganism by reading this article? Point of personal privilege, Tom. I mean, they certainly look that way. What does it say?

I can't really tell. I can't read it either. Does it say anything? Right now it's just going through all the problematic stuff that's with Harry Potter. I got you. Yeah. She's been accused of a lot. People got really upset with it.

She got really dragged for some trans commentary. Well, I think it was that period thing where like it led to that tampax. Well, yeah, because like scroll up a little bit. It says, why did you give the money goblins hooked noses, Joanne? Right? J.K. Rowlings. Oh yeah, the goblins. The greedy hooked nose monsters are bankers.

I mean, it just seems strange, right? I know. I know because we were watching it the day that you gave us all COVID, actually, with our son, remember? And you and I turned each other like, damn, that's pretty blatant. Yeah, it just seems like, I don't know, but anyway. But Bubba just looks a little Jewish. Yeah, Bubba and this are quite different, I think.

Yeah. Little cartoon guy being like, he's cute. Yeah. And these guys like, we got the money and we count it all day. I mean. Capers of the money. Yeah. I mean, you could have gone with any look.

I know any look. The goblins. The vote is yes for you. Yeah. What about in there? The other J. No, Chris is a goyim. That's okay.

He can still vote. Yeah, it seems pretty anti-Semitic. I'm going to guess that it has more to do with medieval fantasy in general than J.K. Rowling specifically. See, Chris is an expert on nerd stuff. Explain that. What do you mean? Well, I mean, goblins in medieval fantasy tend to be money-greedy,

like, type of monsters. And so they were probably just making goblins. Chicken or the egg though, Larson. So, I mean, it could be that J.K. Rowling was just like, what do goblins would do in wizarding world? Oh, they'd be bankers. And so she just made them bankers. But do you think when they had the prototype of the design,

she goes, can you Jew it up a little bit? I think maybe, I think, because like, I think goblins sort of had that kind of appearance beforehand. And she's like, yeah, that looks like a goblin. And that might have more roots from medieval fantasy in general. Looks like a goblin or Ira, the guy that counts my money back in fucking Scotland, wherever she's from. But that's so, but did medieval, I'm saying that,

well, Shakespeare has- Like the people who came up with goblins and stuff. Might have also been a bit anti-Semitic. Yes, because Shakespeare was anti-Semitic, right? The Shylock is a Jew. I forget which play it's in. There's a Shylock and he's a Jew. Merchant of Venice.

See, see in the year Jewish history, who knows that? Geez, I mean, it looks like Nadav knows his history. I know my anti-Semitic problem. What is Zolo's thought on this? Zoli. You had an opinion? Yeah, anti-Semitic. He's like, that been studying for a while.

Definitely. Okay. So sidebar, I'd like to point out an interesting note about Chris Larson. We've been discussing it on where my mom's at. Did you know that Chris actively lives with a rat? Actively live with a rat. He just lives, he just comes and goes.

You made it sound like it's a pet. Is it a pet? No, it's not a pet. It's not a pet, but at this point it may as well be, because he stopped trying to kill it. And now he's just resigned to a rat living with- How are you aware of the rat? Like what relationship do you have with-

How do you know the rat's there? He's made his presence known with rat droppings when I find them around. Occasionally. Not so much recently, but in the past for sure. And you don't know where he's coming in from or anything? I don't know where necessarily he's coming in from. I know where he escapes when I catch him. Where does he escape?

Like there's this little crawl space between my kitchen, like the cabinet underneath my kitchen sink and the cabinet next to it. There's a little area in between it that's like a gap underneath that he can just jump in between. I can't get in there because it's in between both the cabinets. I gotta tell you, there's nothing I have more disdain for than goblins and rats. Those Jewish rats. Listen, I've had two rat incidences and it's-

I don't have any more hatred in me than I do for actual rats. So the first one, I lived in Silver Lake and we found rat droppings and also we would hear them. And I was working at an office complex, a big one, and they had a dedicated pest control guy there. So I'm in this building and I tell him about my problem. He goes, I'll give you stuff to take home. And he goes, this will address it. You remember this. So this is when I lived on that block on Silver Lake Boulevard.

So he tells me where to plant it and it's the sticky stuff. Dude, I plant the traps, I put peanut, he told me to put peanut butter in it. I leave it out the next day. The traps were flipped over and shit on. They shit on your traps. So he ate the peanut butter, got kind of stuck, flipped it over and shit on the trap. And I was like, I told the guy, he goes, I've never seen some shit like that. And I was like, thanks.

And then the next time was our previous home. Oh, my God. I was so I was just like disgusting. We found droppings. Then I opened a cabinet under a sink and there's a ton of droppings in there. Fuck. Then we start like trying to. Cock up all the holes.

Yes. So I filled like I saw that were a pipe like went into the wall. Also had a little gap. So I started to fill any little hole. Because, bro, they can fit through the size of a dime. Yeah, they can fill. They can put their fucking head in there. Yeah.

So you just got a. Yeah, we ended up doing it that way. And basically, and then I went outside and found out like where there's like a little hole connected to the house. Fill fill up everything, you know, do I fantasize about drowning them? No, my fantasize my fantasy about rats has always been the same, like a deep well, you know, like a well. And they're all in there. And then I just like basically Molotov cocktail, like just gasoline light and just hear the screeches, hear the screams. You know, I wanted to see one snapped in half.

I've never caught a rat using the snapper all the way here. That's the most effective way. I've caught a mouse with one. And did you see it cut in half? I didn't see it in the moment, but afterwards you saw his body. That's what I want to see is the death. Yeah. Now, we also don't forget in the guest room, we had rats burrow into the fan that was on the wall.

And those motherfuckers ate up all the wiring, built a fucking nest in there, and we're shitting and destroying the fan. We had to get that all sealed up. So first of all, they create a smell. Your house doesn't smell, Chris, from the droppings in the urine. No, it doesn't really smell. It might be it might be just like a one. But I'm telling you, start filling those gaps. That's that's how you get them to not be able to enter.

You got to look for any way they can enter and just. Yeah, you have to fill that up or get a cat. I'm suggesting or poison. It's kind of cool. Like we also had a little poison. We still do. Like these little blocks. They're blue.

Yeah. Yeah. And they'll eat them and they don't die right away, but they'll they'll they'll go and they have like their nervous system will shut down and they'll die like when in front of their family when they go home. It's pretty cool. And I picked up a few dead rats that way around the around our old house. Even in this new house, Bitsy came walking up to us with a dead mouse in her mouth from the poison too. Because I have the guy come and poison our our current home because mice come now.

You got to stay on top of those fucking assholes. This is a shit. I hate them so much too. Always trying to raise interest rates on you. All right, let's see. Tom, what do you hate more? Rats or horses? Rats.

Really? Yeah. I hate horses more than rats, I think. What? They stink. They hurt you. They'll throw you off. You hate a horse more than a rat?

Yeah. I don't like them. I think they have attitudes. They think they're as good as people in a fucking knot. I move therapy. You know what? You need a different kind of therapy. Can I show you what you need?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. To get over your hatred of horses. I love that. And as I'm going to go here, we're going to actually take the energy of the soul energy. And we're going to take it and going to bring it into the axis of the mind. Watch. And just let you know, this is not my other systems, not network. If not this, it's own thing, inspired by what I learned from the previous things.

Did you learn that at Hogwarts? Yeah. Keep your legs down. Don't you tell me how to come? What is happening here? She's coming super hard. So is that right? No.

There's a lady and they're in front of a group of people. If you're listening, a lady is laying face down on a massage table and then a man is standing above her. He's wearing a button down shirt and he's got a magic wand. Yeah, from Hogwarts. And he's bringing the spells into her body. Diagonally. And she's pointing on a show where she looks like she's going to,

it looks like he's got a rocket on her cooter because she's like really shaking, right? 01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:04,440 It looks like her pussy's going to quake. Okay. She's got a quake and cooch as they say. She's got hair similar to yours. Oh yeah, that's when I grow it out. Yeah.

It's a lot like my hair. It's so weird. Oh, I didn't like how he was like, keep your legs down. She's the one having the experience. She's an ecstasy. You're going to tell somebody how to live there. Stop coming hard. God, so patriarchal.

You may feel that, raise your hand to feel it. That's the difference. That's how we affect others with how energy all the time. With wanting to be affected coherently. Here we go. What is happening? What? Look at that old guy in the back.

He's like, I just came. These people are so dumb. I want that guy to stick that one. You know what just goes to show is that there's a sucker born every minute. They paid to sit here with these idiots. And then they're going to go home and be like, I got a wand. And then he's going to be like, and she's going to be like, yeah, I don't feel anything.

Oh yeah, because we all were making up how we felt at the seminar. So silly. Do you think she has a nose ring, Tom? Whoa. As soon as this is over, she's like, how many wands did we sell? We sold 13 wands today. Oh, fuck. I gotta tell you, you got to stop coming so hard.

The Asian lady is the only one who's got that look on her face. Like this is fucking bullshit. This is some bullshit. This is what creates the phase. And you'll see the body tension pattern shift. Keep your legs down. Oh, I think I got to meet this guy, Tom. I think you do too.

You know what he would do? He would just, he would just be like, you're not ready. Like when you're, when you're like, I don't feel anything. Yeah, it's because you got to open up. You're not being open. It's my fault somehow. Oh, it's probably your fault. And then when you finally go, oh yeah, he's like C.

And then you're like, oh no, this is like a hypnotism when they put on, you know, it's just suggestive. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's full of shit. He kind of looks like he works at Green Gods too, doesn't he? Just from the side, I'm saying. To side. She's got a cool ankle tat.

Should I get an ankle tat next after my nose ring? Well, speaking of cool ankle tats. Tom, try to keep your legs down. This guy is a, whoa, he's just second. Oh, and look where it is, Tom. In on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. He's sucking on her feet at a bar. I mean, I get it.

Your D's all hard, but yeah, I get it. Those paws have got to be worn out. Well, she's walking on Bourbon Street. And she's wearing open totes. Yeah. Let's be clear about what's on Bourbon Street. Shit, piss, vomit. Rats.

Rats, it is, it is a gnarly street to walk around on. It's the equivalent of Vegas, right? The strip when people walk with those stupid foot-long drinks. And it's more, because it's more condensed. So everything is like really concentrated. He's like, I suck on your feet at the bar. Who? There's a lot of grimy stuff on those paws.

Ooh, grimy is the right word, huh? Yeah, those hooves are. In keeping with the foot lane, here's a man who is robbing a place with his feet. This guy is robbing a pawn shop, it looks like, or a jewelry store, holding a gun with his feet. It's amazing. He knows how to work. That is amazing.

He just fucking cocked that thing. Give me your motherfucking money right now. Hold on, Tom. It looks like this guy's not even taking them seriously, though. I know. Wouldn't you, would you be able to take it seriously? He's got the electronic wheelchair, like the remote one. Yo, I'm, I've never seen that before.

Hey, don't you see this is like the next Hollywood white bummer script? Oh yeah. He's like, a man is paralyzed, but uses his feet for crime. To rob people. Yeah. Hey, and no one pays attention. He's like, give me your money. They're like, fuck you, you cripple.

Yeah. And then his feet come up in there, holding a 45, and then he's got his other foot with a 38, and he's like, who wants this smoke? Who are you calling cripple? Yeah, bang. And then how come we're not finding fingerprints at the scene? And then finally they're like, it's because he uses his feet. Do you think Sylvester Stallone could write this script in a day?

For sure. Probably. And then they're just like, oh, you know what? We've got to keep, we've got to start taking footprints. That's what they start doing. So they start taking everybody's footprints. That's a bit. Jesus Christ, man.

Denzel Washington could be in it. It's like the detective that takes footprints. That's the name of the movie, Footprints. But the third act is when he's like, he's using his feet. That's the whole turn of the movie. How can we not find one fucking fingerprint in all these robberies? Well, and also Hollywood will spin it to be a pro differently abled person film. Yeah, like you've seen everything, but you haven't seen the crippled guy.

Yeah. They called him crippled. They called him crippled. He's going to cripple his way into your heart. Or if I can. Horrible or hilarious. Are you ready? Uh-oh, okay.

This is the part of the show where I show you a clip and you either go, that was really sad. I don't feel good anymore. Or you laugh really hard. Maybe you'll have a little bit of both. Yeah. Here's the first one. You ready?

To go. Here we go. Someone's walking across the street. There's a cable. Holy shit. Holy shit. Fuck. So that was a cable that snapped and went around a guy and threw him into another person.

I think. I can't even see where the guy comes from. He's coming from the cripple. Oh, fuck. He gets launched. I would, what is that, 40 feet or something? That threw him in the air. There had to be a lot of tension, a lot of force.

And I think we all agree that was really funny. I'm going to disagree, Tom. I'm thinking primarily about his aftercare. He looks to be in a third world situation here. I'm guessing there's no ambulance. And if it does come, it's like a goat that's going to take him. Okay. Little insensitive.

It's just the truth, kids. Yeah, the lady might need the ambulance. I know. That he lands on. I don't like this. I mean, that thing must have. Oh my God. Oh yeah, she's knocked out.

01:18:57,800 --> 01:18:58,440 She's out. She's not dead. No. No, she's not dead. But she's got, you know, whole new set of teeth in her mouth. But what do you guys think? Horrible or hilarious?

Could you imagine? I think that one's hilarious because seeing the actual knees bending the other way happens offscreen. Oh, right. Right. You just see the seat. Yeah. No, yeah, I'm starting to get.

I'm starting to see what you see. Yeah, yeah. It's only taken a few years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the votes in there? I feel like it's more impressive than hilarious. Yeah, it is. Thank you.

I didn't, I didn't think that could happen. Like I didn't know a person could fly through the air because of a cable like that. That's crazy. That's wild, dude. Everything's possible at the show. Zolo, horrible or hilarious? Hilarious. Thank you.

Well, the freakish bad luck is really what's crazy in the sketch. Yeah, it is. It's, and it's, I mean, like, dude, the probability of that happening, you know. Yeah, exactly. All right. Here's the next one. Running on a hamster wheel. I like this one already.

This one's voluntary. He's running. 01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:02,840 So I like that. So I like that. 01:20:09,480 --> 01:20:10,440 I like that one. I'm going to go hilarious because he's voluntary.

He's, he's definitely hurt. He's definitely hurt, but it's pretty funny. Yeah, that's a good one, though. And he's not like, like he's, he's got a concussion. He's young. You know, he'll be all right. 01:20:25,000 --> 01:20:25,720 Yeah.

Like you like or no? I like him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's like, he's so young, like, you know, the, the cartilage isn't even like hardened. Valley, man, run. Then he falls, but it's still moving. So it, right. Well, you just pow-drive themselves.

Which also leads me to wonder how fucking unsafe the playgrounds are wherever this is. Like how many other people have done that? It's like daily. Yeah, probably a lot. Yeah. And then it's, there's probably a debate or they're like, is this safe? And then other people are like, it's always funny when someone falls and gets hurt though.

Here's another one. Oh, shit. Oh, that's cool. Oh God. He's going to eat it. Fuck. What's up, bro? Uh-oh, uh-oh.

Bro, he's on like the shoulder. But he's hauling ass. Anyway. This is going to, oh man. Oh God. And no helmet or anything. Bro, I'm tense. He face planted.

That guy's fucked up. He's gone. I mean, he's got no helmet. I'm fast as he going. That looks like he's really flying on. Yeah, he's going freeway speeds. And that thing came apart. You can see it.

Yeah. But see, what's cool about this video is that you don't see the mirror blocks to spill the entire time. Yeah. So it lets us maybe tell ourselves that he's okay. I don't think he's okay. No, he's pretty fucked up. His skull is smashed. Yeah.

That one made me sad. Thank you. Let's go to the next one. All right, we're not in Cleveland. I don't know where this is. Tibet. Oh God. And they're carrying.

No. A woman face planting into the concrete. Well, the scream before when she knew this was going to happen is pretty great. They're carrying her on one of those like shoulder thrones, you know? And then the front's not up high enough. So she's like, uh-uh. That hurt. At least she fell.

She fell on her arm like you did. Oh God, yeah. She's probably broke her shoulder. I'm fine. She's fine. She's fine. Yeah. We got some Valentine's Day artwork that we received.

You sent me somebody made that. Yeah, it's not lovely. That's really nice. Pissed on me and beat me. Good work. Really nice. And show me how those big tits fart. Yes.

That's how you know there's love. Somebody tells you that, gives you that. They love you. Of course. The amount of work it took, the detail. Yeah. It's always good. This side, by the way, I have this clip here and I was looking at it this morning

and I thought, oh, we've played this before, but it didn't seem familiar to you guys. I remember seeing this before. So I'm pretty sure at least this has been played in the show before, but it's appropriate. So let's play it again. So I just finished 6.25 mile run. Why do some people look so cute when they run? I mean, I've got my-

Who, bitch, could I have my fucking work? It's Black History Month. It's Black History Month. Yeah, she's very startled. She's like, um, that's fantastic. That's amazing. That's fucking- Who, bitch, could I have my fucking work?

It's Black History Month. I love that. I love that. I like his reasoning, too. There's a reason. It does make sense. It's Black History Month. Yeah.

Hold on, I gotta go piss real quick. I gotta go real bad. Okay. Give me a second. Okay, go ahead. I drank too many fluids this morning. You peed? I did.

I feel so much better. It is something- There's nothing like a good pee when you need it. I know, I'm not as happy when I have to piss so hard. My mind just goes like, I gotta really pee. Me, too, Tom. I've been peeing cars a lot more. In cars?

Yeah, in my car. What? What do you mean? What? If I feel like the real urge to piss, I'll just pull over and piss in the car. In what? Just on the floor mat.

Stop. No, I just get a bottle and I pee in it, you know? And what do you do with the bottle? Are you bringing it into the house? I drink it later. You're in therapy. I drink it. It makes me stronger.

That's how you're getting better. You don't ever piss in the car? No. What if you really have to go? Then I stop somewhere and I go to the bathroom. But that could be a huge ordeal to find a place. You can't during the pandemic. Right.

Yeah, so then you- Yeah, it could be an ordeal. So why wouldn't you just piss in a bottle? I'd piss in a bottle if I can. What if you don't have a bottle? I'm saying, what if you get one? But if you have time to get a bottle. Well then keep one in your car, man.

Just so that I could piss in it? Do you piss in one of these, Tom? No. That takes more aiming. Yeah, a little Gatorade bottle or something, you know? Yeah. Well, we have these things for the kids. They can piss in a blue tube and then the sand fills it.

Wait, why are you shaking your head? Like you don't produce piss spots. Look, I pee just like every other man. Wait, have you never pissed in a bottle? No one in the booth has? Like maybe once, like in college? But like while driving in my car? Yeah, yeah.

No. Wait, while you're driving or you pull over? He pulls over. That doesn't make it okay. Of course it does. It does. It's his car. He can do whatever he wants.

He can take a shit in his car. I did it in my parents car when I was visiting them. Nice. That's funny. That's good. Did you tell your mom that? No. Tell your mom.

And I almost forgot it. I wish you. I was like, I should probably grab that bottle. Wait, this isn't a bit. This is not a bit. You are legit peeing in bottles and cars? All the time. All the time.

Did this start when you were like it was harder for you to move? That's when this started? No, it started like 12 years ago. But I mean. No, but at Dove's got a good point because you were really practicing with those bottles in the bed and stuff. You got in the habit again, maybe. I was.

It was really fun. Yeah. A good for you. I think I hold on. No one there ever does that. And then like. You guys don't piss in a bottle. He says he does.

Of course. He's a man. Yeah. Have Zola talk to you after the show. Explain to you how it all works. Yep. All right. Look, it's Black History Month.

This feels like this could be a breaking news type of story. Yeah. That like a YMH exclusive. I haven't watched it yet. I just see the title of it and it makes me go. This seems like a big deal. This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive.

YMH exclusive. So I don't know if this is good, but the title is epic. And which I've said publicly before because Mr. Obama really, really wanted me. I was raped by Mr. Obama, Barack Obama, 261 times. Wow. He kept wanting me to be his, you know, gay husband. And or spouse or whatever.

But what really burned him is that I repeatedly refused to acknowledge that he was a legal president of the United States because he's not legally qualified to be president. He wasn't born and none of his clones. You know what I mean? He's not a legitimate citizen of this kind. He's not even a legitimate person, let alone a legitimate born in the United States.

He's just a filthy lying murderer that's rapes and murders children like the rest of them. I'm surprised that Obama, you know, when he, when I refused him, he had the CIA inject his biological weapon, which is actually a chemical into my penis and it no longer functions. How has 60 minutes not gotten a hold of this story? Well, they're going to. After this, they're definitely going to.

It's not going to get hard until I'm ready to come. How did you get a hold of these tapes, Tom? I mean, the staff, obviously, you know, they're connected. They have sources. Well, and the Obama clones. I didn't know about that. Yeah. Wow.

And he, Obama and this guy, 261 times had sex. No, I think he was raped. Well, I like to use a softer term. Well, that's yeah. Not what happened, Tom. Obama is a rapist. Jesus. That's what he says.

Okay. Well, that's true. You have to believe all men. Live your truth, sir. The CIA injected his penis and it no longer works. This is just so sad. Everything's sad. It's sad.

Yeah. Everything's sad. Yeah. Who would you rather, which president would you have sex with? If you had to choose between. Okay. Here we go. Ready?

Okay. Your choices are Reagan. Okay. Bush senior. Okay. Or Donald Trump. No, no, sorry. I take it back because it's just too much loaded or Biden.

Those are three old white guys. Wait. Biden, Bush senior or Ronnie Reagan. Who do I want to have sex with? You have to have sex with one of those three former presidents on one current. Or Biden. All right. I mean, I feel like Reagan just seems even at like 50 years ago, you seem frail.

He was skinny. Yeah. But like just frail and I feel like it would be very loving, soft. He would be loving towards you. Yeah. And just the whole like laying with him would be a tender experience. And you know, like he and Nancy looked to be intimate. They had a nice rapport.

Like he's a tender guy. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm saying, so it would be love making. Bush senior. I just, you know, I feel like when I see Bush senior, like a guy who goes to a strip club. Frat boy vibes. Frat boy vibes.

But also like you're like, do you even, do you wash down there? And he's like, why don't you wash it? Like his ball smell. Your job is to wash it. And you're like, ugh. Yeah. So I just feel like he would be a little more arrogant. Like entitled.

More a little more entitled. You know, he was a CIA director. He was ambassador before president. Like I just feel like he's like, I've done all like you should be impressed. Right. Why don't you impress me more? Well, and his wife was not a looker. So, you know that he didn't value sex or sensuality or sexuality.

She was a dog. Everybody knows this. She was a fucking bowser. Why can't we just say a woman is not attractive? It's okay. Can you show a little respect of Bowser? Can you show a little bit of respect? She was a dog.

I mean, Jesus Christ. She wasn't cute. So not everybody can be a dog. Stop. I'm going to defend Barb. You horrible lady. You horrible, horrible woman. Okay.

What about Bidey? Well, he was like a smooth ass, cool dude, not too long ago. Yeah. Now he's, he's elderly now. Sure. I know. Like. Well, you have to fuck the elderly version.

I know. I'm not going for the cool one. But I still think, you know what it is? I think that, I think that he's definitely the smoothest of the three. Yeah. And I don't know, like what he'll do is he'll be like, I used to, I used to do the pile driver and you're like, what? And then you know that he's got a couple moves still.

I think he's like, and I think he's got like a real nice mouth probably on him. Yeah. Well, he takes care of his mouth too. 01:32:02,280 --> 01:32:04,120 He likes his teeth to look nice. You know? I think I'm going to go with him. Bidey.

Yeah, I think so. Oh, wow. Interesting. He'll take me through your logic. Who do you choose? Okay. So Biden is a little too paternal for me, paternalistic. He's too grandfather vibes for me in terms of like, I think he's a sweet man.

I respect it. Bush, I find to be just, again, kind of what you're saying, like conservative entitlement vibes. Reggie, on the other hand, was an actor. And I feel like he'll put on a show. He'll, he's charismatic. He was beloved. Do you think either of the three go down on you?

I think Reagan would because he was, like I said, he was in show business. And so he probably had a flair for like, yeah, dude, I'll get wild. And he probably went down on Nancy because she was hot. Like she, she maintained. Like if you look at the wives, who's Bidey's wives? Bidey's wife is, what's her name? Jill. Jill, Jill means, look how hot Nancy was guys.

So that's a woman who gets effed on the regs and who gets, he goes down on her. He went down on her on the reg. You know what I'm saying? I like how you're saying it like, you know, you're confirming the stuff that you know. Look how happy she is. That's only a lady who gets eaten out. Pussy eating out. Of course.

Of what do you think? I'm all happy and I'm, I'm in a good mood all the time. You lap it up. And I like that. Yeah, you got to. There's no way the Bushes were doing oral. There's no way they were even having relations. What about Bidey here?

Let's see if Jill, oh, Jill fucks. Yeah, of course. Yeah, Jill fucks like crazy. She's got nice lady hair. Oh, they fuck the most. She's got fuckable hair. Yeah, she looks like 40 years younger than him. I know.

He's dying. She's cute. She's totally cute. No, she's she's got fuckability, too. So who are you? You chose Reagan? I chose Reagan. I just like that old school, like 80s Republican vibes.

I like his whole style. Sorry, President Biden. Looks like you're getting T buns this round. Get the Lincoln bedroom ready. Oh, okay. Can you just talk? Oh, of course. You guys ready to talk it up?

Yeah. I heard you, bitches, was looking for me. Quite a few in that folder. There are quite a few. We haven't had these in a moment here. Oh, I didn't get to tell you about Hotel Sushi. Oh, go ahead. Yes.

All right. People are going to get mad at me, but Why? Because they'll just every time you complain about something, people go just fucking. Yeah. Just why? Why are you upset about it?

Yeah, I'm like, because you should have standards and you should call out illogical nonsense. OK, go ahead. All right. So I'm staying. I realize I'm very fortunate. I'm staying at a really nice hotel, like a hotel resort on the beach, right?

So the hotel on the beach. It's a really beautiful property, beautiful place. And when I say like hotel resort, like they have the amenities of resort. In other words, you have the main property, the main thing. And then there's a lounge, the main restaurant. But then they have like a couple other restaurants that you can go to if you want.

So every night that we're in Florida, we can't have dinner because we have two shows a night, right? Saturday, I was supposed to do a college gig. And so there was going to be no shows. A couple of weeks before I went down there, the college said because of COVID stuff, we can't do the show. But what we can do is have you do like a Q&A thing interactive with art.

And that so that became my time slot for the early show, which means that we could add a late show only on Saturday night. So it was the first night we could have dinner at the hotel. Got you. OK. So we walk through the lobby and usually you go through the lobby and there's a host to stand for the restaurant. And that's what we would have like breakfast and lunch sometimes.

So we're walking through the lobby and I noticed that 10 feet from the host to stand is a sushi bar. Like that's like just like you sit at the chef. No, it's not from you can. I mean, I guess maybe you can. But it's more that it's a pop up setup for him. And it's clearly the implication is tonight you can also get sushi. You walk by, you see like the fish in behind the glass.

And you're like, oh, cool, this is all right, man. We're going to have sushi now. So we walk and we're like, hey, two for dinner. Yes. So they walk us outside and they seat us at a table with white chairs. OK. And it's just outside the host to stand just right a few feet away. So we're like, oh, cool.

And we have the menu. And we're like, I was like, we'll get something off this. Maybe we can get some sushi, too. And they go, oh, you can't order sushi if you're sitting here. And I was like, what do you mean? Well, to have sushi, you have to sit over there, over there. And this is not an exaggeration. Is the distance from where I'm seated and the guest couch.

OK. All right, right, right, right, right. So five feet from where you're sitting, you can have sushi. And I was like, well, if I sit there, can I order an order? An entree off of the main menu. No. And I go, what do you mean? Well, this where you're seated now is the restaurant seating.

Right. So you can order off of this menu. If you sit over there, you can have sushi, but you can't over it. But if you sit here, you can't have sushi. And I go, OK. So I get up and I go, hey, I want to have some sushi. Can I sit over there? And they're like, yeah, sure.

And I was like, and then I can have sushi. Yeah. But I can't order regular food. And they're like, no. And I go, how is how are you? How is this logical? And the guy's like, well, I mean, he's like, he's like, sir. That seating is just for the restaurant.

I go, I realize that. But like, if you're a guest, paying a bunch of money to stay here. And you're like, I would like a piece of sushi. Yeah. And then I'd like to order an entree. You're just not going to. He's like, unfortunately, we can't do that. I go, this is beyond comprehension.

And he's like, yeah. So then I go, all right, well, we want some sushi. So we get up and we walk. I'm not kidding you. The equivalent of from here to there. And we sit there and we're allowed to have sushi. And it was fucking terrible. Oh, no.

This is the worst sushi I've ever had. What was wrong? Just old fish? It just wasn't high quality. And the dude used like a mountain of rice. Always feels like they're just trying to fill you up. Yeah. And so you shut.

And I was like, all right. And then they're like, hey. You know, but I was like, I mean, like. Was it a COVID rule because the COVID rules are so dumb. No, it wasn't a COVID rule. It wasn't a COVID rule. They were just like. So weird.

We broke this up. Like stupid. Yeah. Why can't you just mix the menu? Like I want to add on a roll. That's it. Like can we get some sashimi and then order dinner? No.

I was like, OK, man. Makes sense. My favorite was you and I went to a restaurant in LA here. And then we were waiting to be seated. And they're like, do you want to drink at the bar? OK. Stand in line. Stand six feet apart.

And then when it was our turn, the guy was like, here's some rules. You can go to the bar. Don't, you know, I know when you get your drink, you're going to want to take a sip. Don't lift. Don't pull down your mask. Don't go like this and go like that. Don't do that.

You have to walk over there and then you can do that. Yeah. And we're like, what? And then he's like, and when you go over there, like when you sit away from everybody, you could pull your mask, not take a sip, but don't take your mask off. And we were like, OK, gotcha.

But wait a minute. But then when you're sitting with everybody else under the heat lamps outside, then you can take everything off. So this makes no sense. That was like dumb COVID. The hotel. It was just dumb hotel.

It was just dumb. They were just fucking dumb. Here's my favorite when we all went out for dinner one night here in Los Angeles. So the rule in California in LA anyway is that you can dine outside. And it was very cold. We were dining outdoors.

So they put tarps or whatever the fuck, tents over the outdoor section of the restaurant. We all sat down to eat and it was open. So that was free air. And then the thing closes and now we're outside, but sealed in a plastic tent. So how does that even make any kind of sense? It's all nonsense.

I know. It's nonsense. The worst part of the hotel sushi was them trying to explain it. I was like, the guy goes, well, if over here, we have an assigned number of seats for the restaurant. So we have to order off the restaurant. And if you know over there,

we can just serve sushi over there. How does this make any sense, what you're saying? He was just like, I don't know. It doesn't. Some manager came up with it. His dumb manager. But I mean, ultimately, what are people like? I'm working well in there,

but ultimately, what are people doing? They're on vacation. I know. Like, does it serve a guest who's on vacation to be like, you can't sit here and eat that. You have to leave and sit over there to eat. It's like, okay, man, whatever. Back to talks.

Well, most important. Yes. Yeah. And also, I can't wait to get the emails now. People will message me. Tom, just fucking go with what they have their reasons. You should just be lucky you even get sushi. Yeah, I know.

But their reasons are dumb. It's a dumb reason. But look, who hasn't had a stupid boss? Like, you know when you've worked these jobs and you're like, whatever, Steve. Oh, I let them know that it was dumb. I'm being more polite than I was. It's just some fucking guy with a bad beard cut.

Some fat fucking GM at the hotel. And they did that. It's true. It's just some retard guy who's like, look them sit here. All right, so here we go. The first TikTok. Here we go. Do you ever wake up or do something?

And you're just like, what the fuck is going on? Isn't that guy the best? Yeah. What the fuck? Why did they say who remembers this guy? Because I guess he was around a while ago now. Was he on our show? No, he used to be a big YouTuber, I think.

He was? He still does, yeah. Do you ever just do something? And you're like, what the fuck's going on? It's great. That's one of his characters. Oh, it's a character? Oh, that's pretty great.

What the hell is going on? You guys have to understand something very important about women. You see, women can only pig a man as either alpha or beta. Look at his face. It has been clinically proven, gentlemen, that the female brain is smaller than the male brain. Can we play this one already?

And because the female brain is smaller than the male brain, the female brain lacks intellectual capacity. And because a female lacks intellectual capacity, she, therefore, cannot fathom the fact that, hey, a man can be beta and he can be alpha. He can be provider and he can be the guy who Nagasaki Hiroshima's that puneni. Woman cannot conceptualize that for the simple fact

that their brain does not have the intellectual capacity for it. Now, women are closer to animals than they are to man. You know, if a grizzly bear is going to come after you, a grizzly bear is going to come after you because you're either a threat or you are food. It's not going to come after you because you're food and a threat. It doesn't work like that.

You're either a threat or a food, OK? Same thing with women. You're either beta or you are alpha. So this is the text. Yeah. He's fucking pretty rad. This is the cab driver who tells you how to be an alpha male in Los Angeles,

how to pick up women. I guess he's an alpha, huh? He's definitely an alpha. And his hair got darker since the last series of videos. I'm not sure if he's getting his hair done the same way you are or what. Oh, yeah. Maybe we go to the same guy.

Yeah. It's very dark. He does have a ponytail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he's clearly an alpha. I mean, the tank is a real chill. That's what I want out of my driver. I'm like, can you wear less shirt?

Can you have your armpits out so that I may smell? Oh, man. Yeah. Who wears a fucking tank top in public like that, too? This guy, too. You're driving a car? I would love to go through his dating history. Wait, may I just back up one moment?

Yeah. A.I. would love to go through his dating history as well. It's a mess. Who do you think he's attracting? Messes. Other messes. It's horrible. Horrible.

Damaged, broken dogs. Yeah. Beyond. And he's also like, you don't even fucking understand what I'm saying because your stupid brain. Like, it's got to be super abusive. Super abusive. Yeah, yeah.

So he's an alpha and he's abusing this shit. I wouldn't even. I think he's a faux alpha. He's not a real. Of course. Look, that whole thing where guys would go to be tough. Clearly it's insecurity. It's just silliness.

Secondly, tank tops in public. Am I wrong here? No, it's crazy. That's disgusting to have your armpits out. Of course. You see it on planes, too. It's disgusting. People board a flight.

I mean, obviously not in first, but you see people in the back of the bus with their tank on. You're like, ugh. With their armpit. Hate to be back there with you. Their armpit flakes going everywhere and their armpit hair. Especially men. Not women.

Women have beautiful, clean, shaven, most of us, normal ones. Yeah. You've seen Nasty? Yeah, I've seen Nasty. Like a cute girl gets on with a tank? No, cute girls. It's like it's fine. Like everything's fine.

Everything's fine with a cute girl. Yeah. But yeah, this is fucking normal. Disgusting. Yes. Yes. Gross. This is why we have a lot of women out there who are upset.

They're angry. They're miserable. They hate men. It's because ladies. Different tank. They hate your hand because of feminism. Feminism taught you that you are the prize. That you are a queen.

And are they not? That you are a princess and that a man should bow down to you. Real men. The women, the men that you do not want, they're not going to bow down to you. Only weak, pathetic beta males and soy boys would ever bow down to a woman. What's a soy boy? It's a way to say the same thing.

Oh, yeah. Soy milk? Yeah, like a little beta boy. Sweet. Yeah. Well. He's a cool. He's very fucking cool.

And I'm sure the, I mean, he's probably, it's got to be a real thrill to run into this guy as a lady, I'm sure. He's like, I'm not going to bow down to you, bitch. And she's like, wow, that's. This is really nice of you. I like your attitude. Well, he's got that Tom Lakers school of thought, like dump that bitch. Treat her like a pig.

Whatever I need, bitch. If she's a, she's a Ted, I tell her she's a four. Fuck you, bitch. I get her eating out of my palm. Yeah. Yeah. But he's right because they're really weak. And I took her to dinner.

Yeah. I took her to fucking Burger King. But guys like this just find the weakest female in the pack and then they dominate and abuse the show. Yeah. Pretty great. I just thought the younger guys would like to learn how to be an owl. Can we stop meeting this guy?

You don't have to play with it. He is the worst. Go for it. Get me the order right now. I just thought you would like that. That was a real freak out. Yeah. Do we know what was happening there at all?

No. No. He was like. Do I know? Give me the order right now. I think he's trying to pick up his groceries. Looks like an Instacart order or something. Yeah.

I think he's picking up his groceries. That was a cool way to handle it. It was a cool. Hey, this year has been tough on everybody. He was just like, where's the bread? And he's like, oh, we didn't get the bread. We've all been there. Yeah.

There's three basic things women have to offer. Oh boy. I remember this guy. Marriage and children. And as a guy, I support that. If you want that, you better want that more than sex and vagina itself. You better really want to be, you better really love kids as a male and really want to be a family man.

I say go for it. Good luck because chances are you're going to end up, you're going to end up losing everything. Your kids, your house, everything. You want to take a shot. You want to roll the dice. What will help you along the way is you better love the kids more than you love your wife, wife or any woman yourself.

This guy's a real peach. The only way you'll fucking survive. Possibly. What do you think's going on? Well, there was very uplifting message to all the young men that are considering getting married. Everything's going to, you're going to just lose everything. So your life's going to, and you better like,

I like how he's like, try to love those kids a lot. That's the way he said it is like, like, you know, you may not, you might not, but you should, if you can love those kids a lot. Something tells me it's gone wrong in his life. I think the exact scenario he's talking about has played out in his life. Fucking A, man. I love him. Um, I just want to let you know, I 10 out of 10 do not recommend

getting it. I don't know what I was going to say. She's cute. It's great, right? She's super cute. Yeah. She's crying. She's awesome.

And she said 10 out of 10 I would not recommend, and then we lost our thought. Now, I will say there's a correlation. The longer the fake eyelashes, the crazier. Now, I think that this woman is an animal in bed. Okay. Well, what's tell me your clues? Um, there's all types of clues.

Go ahead, Tom, enlighten the audience. Tom, blow me up. All right. Here's the thing about this bitch. I mean, there's a look. There's definitely like a sexy look. It's the, and also like, you see how she's like, she's kind of like street, you know, like this here.

You don't get that way. Not playing with dicks. Okay. Like she's, she is a seasoned pro of that. I think that you sleep with her. You're going back for more. And she's kind of crazy. No, she's very crazy.

She obviously gets too inebriated. So those are all good signs for her being a good lay. She's also the angel with the halo on the titty tits. Anybody with the tit tattoo is going to suck your nuts. Right. Don't you think? I don't think you have to ask for it. I think that's how she starts.

The, it's the first appetizer on the menu. Yeah. It's like, hey, you're making out. And then she's like, do you like your balls sucked? And you're like, whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Okay.

And the eyelashes, the fake eyelashes are way too long and crazy. She's a dream. I hope her and Chris get together soon. All right. Do not call me handsome. If you ain't going to hand me some of that, bought Donka Don. What?

I just thought it's fun to hear that for Phil's sake. Do not call me handsome. If you're not going to hand me some of that, bonka donk. Yeah, it's just him being whatever. This is pretty crazy. Holy shit. This is real.

A wave crashes through a restaurant. Time to go. Yeah. Yeah. They're just dining. It's like, this could, that could be us and. Absolutely. Malibu or whatever.

It could have been me trying to eat sushi. At the restaurant and they're like, you can't eat here. I'm fucking going to eat here anyway. Is that why? Yeah. I never thought that could, I didn't think glass. I mean, I, I had assumed that they would put special glass there. Unbelievable.

Not necessarily. Well, tomorrow is Valentine's Day for everybody in the world. I hope everybody has a good one. Oh, but me, I'm too fucking ugly to have somebody. Y'all have a good one. Thanks, babe. This is what I like on so many levels. It's like first.

Great angle. Great angle. Great lighting. Great everything. Great level of camera. TV in the background. 4k video TVs on. But he's like, except for me, I'm ugly.

And then it's, so that's like a little self deprecating, a little funny. And then also feel guilty for me. Yeah. Have a nice day. Yeah. Yeah. The end one. Have a good one.

Yeah. Hope you have a good fucking day because I'm not going to. Yeah. Like he still wants to ruin your holiday, which is great. Yeah. I like that he still, he wants to leave you with that. Jesus. Fuck you.

Jesus Christ. This is for real. Again, is this Burt's brother? Holy shit. That is fucking terrifying. These are Russians feeding a bear. When they get all close like that, yeah, there's a Russian dude. And the bear is sitting up like a person eating out of their coat.

Look at those claws and paws. Woof. He kills me. Look at those claws and paws. Psychos. What are they even feeding that thing? Mush looks like ice cream. I don't know, but that's fucking scary.

Like when you see the size of that thing's head, look at the size of its head. You know, and it's like snout. Holy shit. Yo. You realize it's just like not wanting to kill you right then. I know. Just in that moment.

That's the only thing. He's like, yeah, you're feeding me. I won't kill you. No thanks, man. Come, baby, come, come, come. Come on, baby, come, come, come. I like it when you come, come, come. Now it's the Valentine's guy.

What's interesting too is like, why make the video? Are you trying to lure women? Is he trying to lure women? Of course he's trying to lure women. Of course he is. That's the only thing he's going for, but this is how he knows how to do it. He doesn't know how to do it another way.

So he either goes, I guess I'm too ugly. Or he's like, come, come, come, come. So first he uses guilt and when guilt doesn't work, he's overly sexual. He's using the tactics he knows, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Come, man. Yeah. That's cool. Oh, God. What's the difference between a biker bitch and a shotgun? One cop and she's ready to blow. Okay. Now.

And it just hit me that we're dealing with somebody who drinks quite a bit. I didn't realize that on the other videos. Oh, I didn't realize that either. It's very obvious here. Huh. I didn't realize that. And then he has to.

Hey, he doesn't have teeth either. Do we point that out? Well, it's part of the alcoholism. Yeah. I think it's kind of one of the side effects. Jesus Christ. Is he, are we done with him? Sure.

He can be. Just don't play another one if you see him pop up. Okay. You know, there's something I don't understand. What's that? See all these beautiful women out there using filthy language. Disgusting. In my day, we had a name for this.

Who is? Yo, who is? He just cuts off there. This is another cool guy. That's a very cool guy. It's a real special lane. A guy who goes, you shouldn't talk like that. And what are you wearing?

You see old sea legs. Yeah. Tits. Well, in case you haven't noticed, picked up on the theme here. My talk lane now is cool guys who are telling you how the world is. Yeah. Yeah. And telling ladies how to behave.

It's good. And it's always what you want. Right? I mean, as a lady, do you like when guys tell you like how to speak? Oh, my dad used to tell me. Yeah. Yeah. My dad would always be like that.

Like, no, no, buddy. No man wants to have women talking too much. Looking, you know, girl who's going with every guy. I used to hear this stuff growing up all the time. A girl going with every guy. Yeah. I mean, that's a hua. That's a huur.

Yeah. A huur. Sure. Yeah. Whatever you want. Go with whatever you want. Yeah. And if you fuck a guy while you're at it,

you're not gay. It's not gay. Here we go. What's up, big dog? Are you guys done, man? I'm doing fine. That's it. That's the dog.

That's all I had to say, guys. He says I'm doing fine. Did you like him? That's pretty good. Did you like his teethies? I like it. What's up, big dog? Not much here.

I'm just here drinking a few burrooskis. Oh, man. I want to give shout out to Dale, Christina, and Kay. Now, I don't know if I just got lucky there, but my namesake got thrown in. I don't know if he's referring to me, specifically, man. Is it, do you feel a shift towards sadness right now? Because I do.

Yeah. No, yeah. This is all the same. I kind of like when you have an uplifter thrown in there. Keep looking. I mean, you know, sometimes I catch myself doing this. When I go into a room and there's women in the room, sometimes I'll say, hi, guys, or I'm leaving.

I'll say bye, guys. Well, they're not guys. They're ladies. Yeah, you stupid bitch. That's the talk. But I wanted to change it up because he's positive. He's a pro woman. I was bracing myself when he was like,

there's a bunch of ladies in there. I was like, oh, shit. Who knows? But I actually have had the same anxiety before. Hey, guys. Yeah, I've been like, oh, they're not guys. Yeah. Like, because you'll, it's just a, you know, what is it?

Like a... Just a lang, what are the words? Yeah, correct. Yeah, I don't take it personally. I'm like, whatever. Can point a personal privilege, though. It's a, that's gendered language. It certainly is, Tom.

It certainly is part of the patriarchal structure. If you're a lady or you identify as one and you don't like when people say guys, please let us know and I'll do my best to never ever say that to you. Well, however, some women would be offended at being called a lady. That's true.

How dare you infer that I'm a lady? That's a value judgment on my characteristics, my behaviors. Here we go. Next one. You didn't ask for my pronouns. Oh, Jesus. You fucking con bitch.

Fuck you, you motherfucker. Pull over, you fucking bitch. She did pull over. That's why you're able to spit on her window. Yeah. Well, that's a good logic. Road rage is, that's, that's tight. It's coming.

I know you like that one. I like that one. Was that a sorbet? Yeah, that was kind of a nice like, ah, what else is there? He's black. I'm black. Everybody's black.

Fucking idiot. Listen, there's a lot of drunk. Guys on TikTok right now. What can I tell? Come on. Let's move. I found some pussy flavored ice cream in here. Some pussy flavored ice cream.

Okay, thank you so much. Oh, that's pretty funny. He asked for pussy flavored ice cream. Yeah. You didn't think that was funny? Well, you know what I don't like about that one? I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like the other guy that's working,

he's just trying to do his job. Yeah, that's true. You know? And he's like. He's like, yeah, it's just a look. He's like, ice cream's over there. I did go into a store when I was in Florida and I go, hey, man, I'm looking for, oh, it was like this scar cream.

And I go, hey, do you know about, what is it? Mederma. Mederma, yeah. I was like, do you have Mederma? And the guy goes, man. He goes, ask those people over there. I don't know where anything is. And he had the uniform on.

I was like, okay. Can I tell you, as someone that's worked in many a retail establishment, the first week, fine. But after a week, if you don't know the layout of the place you work. Well, he was, he was also pushing a card, putting things on shelves.

So I was like, do you know where this stuff, if he was like, I don't know or anything. Point of personal privilege. Look, ladies, the way to come across as a bitch, to not be fucked with when you're actually a nice girl inside, is very simple. Lower your nonverbals. What are your nonverbals?

What you don't use your words with. That means your smile, the eyes, the laughter, motherfucking shit. He's not that fucking funny. Why are you laughing at all of these jokes? You know what I'm saying? Lower your nonverbals. That means you speak slower.

You respond slower. You move slower. You take up a little bit more space, right? And you, and you don't make as much eye contact, right? Because when you don't like somebody, you don't look at them that much. That will give, that will give an air of power. And it'll create insecurity in a person

because they want to see you smile. You just get what I'm trying to say. But just doing that, and then slowing down the texting, you will come across as more of a bitch, as a nice girl. And guys will like you more. For more toxic advice, go to Mindful Attraction. Well, man, that's true. And for more toxic dating advice on TikTok, follow me.

But like, I hate that he's like, you should, like he's basically like, you should play games more. And you should be inauthentic. Like this is how you can fuck with somebody and get them to like you. It's like, dude, come on, man. That's all the stuff that I would try to break someone from doing, you know?

Well, he's specifically on the toxic dating. Yeah, you want toxic advice? You want to be toxic? I can teach you how to be toxic. It makes me bummed out. It makes me sad too. But it's also very interesting because it's neat to know how to fuck with people.

All right, a couple more, okay? You don't have time to what? You just made fun of a customer's name from the Middle East because you couldn't pronounce it. A customer that ordered food from you, you just made fun of his name. That is the most racist thing ever, Larry Lindhurst. At Bob Evans, where are we in Worthington?

You can't say anything for yourself and you made fun of it to a kid, a 18-year-old kid picked up. You said, isn't that a stupid name? Isn't that a dumb name? And this guy working for you, what's your name? Is that a dumb name too? You got nothing to say?

You have nothing to say? Trust me. She's real fired up. I know. And also, new word, pronounce. Purnounce? Purnounce. Can you pronounce it?

Yeah, you can pronounce it. You can, um, photographers take furters, you know. Yeah, there's all that. Also, I think it's funny, like, there are some names that just sound funny. It's wine. Wine. Why can't you just make fun of somebody's name

without it being racist? Sam just won. Who's that one? That's Darman saying wine. Wine. Yeah. He says it right, too. Of course he says it right.

Now. He knows how to make bids. Of course. Okay, so that was, that one doesn't leave me feeling good. No, we'll keep going down. So I like to leave on a feel-good one, okay? Come on. Hi there.

This is our first video on TikTok. We are Two Mountain Mamas. I'm Suzy. I'm Delphine. This is my mama. And she is going to be 80 today. It's her 80th birthday. That's where it ends?

Yeah. That we were about to see, like, a dance or something. Well, it's their first time on TikTok. They're learning. It's really cute. That was very sweet. Really? Yeah, I think it's sweet because they're like,

they're like, we're new to this and you could tell they're really proud of themselves. We're mother-daughter whores and we're putting on hoary dresses together. Hey, what are you, a fucking cab driver that wears a tank top? I mean, she's like, look at my slutty dress. That's my mom. My mom dresses like a whore, too. You're horrible.

Really? Yes. What is wrong with you? I guess I, but no, but this is meant to be slutty. Look at those heels. They're not mean whores. They put on dresses. They're just, they're trying to have fun and make a TikTok.

To me, it's like Christina P. The Old Whore, like my next Netflix special. I think they look like a couple of old whores. I don't know. They're just trying to have fun. They're just trying to have fun. They're just making a silly video. Am I wrong here?

I agree with you, Tom. I just thought they were just a couple of old whores. I mean, mother-daughter slut team. You ever seen them on Jerry Springer where they're like, my mom and I, we like to fuck guys together? Okay. That's what I took it as. You're out of your mind.

Okay. I guess I read them. Hi, everybody. I'm going to do a new TikTok. I'm talking science now. What happens if we're teleforming the planet? What if the alien ship, they sent the area 51? Okay.

That was incredible. But don't click on guys then, maybe. You'd be more depressing. God. It's not me. It's the algorithm. Wait for it. Wait for it.

Here it comes. He likes Angry Birds too. You used to play that game all the time. Then don't click on the dude. My boyfriend became a drug dealer because I wanted a Louis Vuitton wallet. I haven't spoken to my dad in three years. I've only been with guys shorter than me.

My ex-boyfriend's gay. I'm a sophomore in college and I'm still a virgin. I went on a 28-day bender and got a 2.7 GPL SS. These are girls sharing their secrets and then they clap. It's cute. It was a thing for a minute on the talk. Yeah, it's sweet. The Louis Vuitton one was crazy though.

My boyfriend became a drug dealer to get me a Louis Vuitton wallet. Yo, that man loves you, girl. Yeah. You're really dead. If you're like, I want this thing, it's expensive. I'm like, I'm going to get into some crime to get it for you. I know.

It's really sweet. That's why men are sweet. You better suck his balls. Suck his balls. Yeah, finger your butt. Okay, here's how I make myself look like a guy. I try to keep my skin as natural as possible, but I do cover my acne.

I also make my lips smaller and crusty. I take a concealer that's too light for my skin and I really define my bone structure. And the most important part is contouring. Pretty much contour here, here, and my jawline. You're really going to want to contour your jawline and blend it. I contour my nose to be long and thin. Another important part is shading right next to your eye.

And I define my butt chin. I bring my eyebrows down and I make them more boxy. I tie my hair in a bun in the back. And I bobby pin pretty much the entire front part of my hair. And then I take this little curling wand and just kind of like curl the front pieces. And then you kind of just keep teasing and curling until it looks legit.

Once you throw a hood or a beanie on, it looks pretty decent from the start. It's blur, right? I forgot to do my eye bags. Now you kind of just have to act like a guy. Don't smile, just smirk. Be an asshole. That was great.

That's a good one to end on. That's a good one. That was really cool. I thought, I mean, geez. I would like to try to look like a boy. Autumn underscore. I can't read it. Can you read it?

Look at what it says. Don't smile, you kind of smirk. Yeah. Why are guys assholes? Pandolfi. Pandolfi? That's really good. Why are guys generally assholes like that, though?

Like, how come you guys aren't as nice as women? No, no, no. Probably because guys don't value being nice from other guys. So you're used to your, like, guys are, you know, like our biological, like, you know, makeup is like, who's a threat? What's a threat? You know, establishing like dominance and, you know,

someone trying to, like, I think it's all in your DNA, right? To be like threatening versus. Well, it's not that you have to be like super agro and threatening, but I think it comes from guys being around other guys. So like girls will be nice to each other. And that's how we save ourselves socially.

Yeah. The girls have to be nice to each other. Guys, a guy walking into like a group, a room with a bunch of guys, isn't like, hi guys. No, never. Guys don't do that, you know, so. That's so true.

Yeah, I don't know. Girls do the opposite. We make for, hi, oh my god. This whole thing's amazing, though. Isn't that cool? Yeah. I'd have been like, this is a pretty cool dude. Yeah.

Hanging out, you know. She looks just. And then I'd be like, I'm ready for some gay sex. All of a sudden. She gets undressed and I'm like, wait a minute. Thought you were a guy. I was going to have non homosexual gay sex with you. Non, non sexual.

What happened? Just feels good to have your penis touched by another guy. Sometimes it does. All right. This is a phallic symbols by Ramsey McQueen is our closing song. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you for watching. Thank you for supporting our show.

There's new merch store. YMH studios.com. Make sure you check it out. Go see Christina P. This weekend if you're in Houston, Texas. Houston. And we'll be hitting the road a lot more soon. Very excited about it.

And that's it. Anything else? I love you. Love you. Bye, jeans. Bye, mommy. This program is a continuation of my series on the Denver International Airport.

And especially the murals in the art contained therein. And now this program I will find out that many of them are phallic, phallic, they are evil, phallic, phallic. They are signs of satanism, phallic, phallic. See what I am talking about, phallic, phallic. The mail, Genitalia, phallic, phallic. They are evil phallic, phallic. They are signs of satanism, phallic, phallic.

See what I am talking about phallic, phallic. The mail, Genitalia. Let's take a look at the first of these, which I have called the birth of the Antichrist. This is actually the figure of a naked woman and the crotch is formed by a bird. But right opposite the woman is a penguin. This sign, the penguin's cage, constitutes a phallic symbol.

And in fact represents gigantic phallic, phallic, they are evil, phallic, phallic. They are signs of satanism, phallic, phallic. See what I'm talking about, phallic, phallic. The mail, Genitalia, phallic, phallic. They are evil, phallic, phallic. They are signs of satanism, phallic, phallic. See what I'm talking about, phallic, phallic.

The mail, Genitalia.