Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 593 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://stamps.com/ click on the Microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Go to https://omaxhealth.com/ today and enter code “MOM” to get 20% off CryoFreeze Sport and sitewide! - Get 25% off and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter code YMH - Head to https://www.policygenius.com/ to save up to $1,055 per year on your home and auto insurance rates - Go to https://Freshly.com/MOM for $40 off your first two orders. JEANS UP!! Tom Segura and Christina P discuss murder shows, Christina's deceptive farts, Mr. Potatohead, Tom's rebirth, and why Nadav is eligible for the vaccine. They watch an update from the "Ayayay" guy, a cool gal's rant about blood, a new Fedsmoker video, fan-submitted "animal" submissions, and more! Josh Potter is a comedian and host of The Josh Potter Show. He joins the Main Mommies for a special Women's History Month segment detailing four of the most prolific female serial killers. Todd and Tina wrap up the show by watching this week's Toks.

and what did beat formerly wolfgang do she murdered five women in an infant all you know uh... they called uh... uh... i think i don't know exactly what oh in germany or something uh... foreign uh... but they called her uh... the pink giant because of uh... her size

she's a very tall man uh... woman and uh... man i'm all sorts of pretzels up with this yeah yeah i see that good morning good afternoon or good evening welcome to another fun filled newsworthy episode of your mom's house she's christine i'm todd show me that you like me and show me that you like me we're working hard for you i hope you enjoy it we've got a lot of fun things planned for today so many fun things and i i have him stuck in my head for saying massage

massage i don't i don't believe that's correct to say massage it's weird massage your little hole yeah uh... burt says that he does burt says massage now burt also it's like a d d g like badge i don't think that's correct

definitely not correct massage your little hole yeah i have no problem swallowing okay can we go to the next creeper uh... oh how do i say it you say garage as opposed to

garage oh you say garage garage foreign parents like garage yeah it should be garage it should be garage garage yeah i'm gonna stick to garage

you say garage whatever feels good bud yeah put it put it in the garage let me see all that um yeah garage oh the garage yeah you're right you're right

you know my brother didn't believe me oh really that's my favorite does he i can't believe how big a stick was yeah that's one of those clips that keeps unraveling and giving more

because every now and then i'll think of another part of it and i'll be like i'm marvellous it becomes so sensitive so sensitive so it took it it took like months just me thinking about how he said that yeah and now i'm thinking about how he was jerking off with his brother like i think about that part of it for a while yeah

and then i think about he's so hard and he has to tell everybody hey do you want to see me do this because if you want if you're interested there's a date and time yeah there's like a pay-per-view special i'm gonna be doing this he said he said in the original that you know if you want if you want if you want i will send you a link of me doing all this

and who's like oh me i want to see there's a few guys i want to see for sure and it's all guys it's definitely all guys there's no women yeah there's no women who are like i'd love to see you smoke meth and jerk off with your brother but now that i know plenty of guys are like uh yeah i'll please send me that link yeah guys are so fucked up we're so fucked up but now that i know him i feel like i i would want to see the footage well yeah

well now you're a big fan that's different that's different yeah and with his brother no less goodness gracious brother it's really something um all right well look there's uh there's really a lot so let's uh let's play the opening clip start the show and we can break everything down okay all right here we go and look i want to lick them rolls one love for all them beautiful women i don't give a damn where you're from

let me put my tongue in your a$$ don't bring anyone loving to this he's the best welcome welcome welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura you you know uh i just remembered you know who i saw a couple weeks ago i was in west palm beach during shows ryan match the match man you're kidding he made that the intro song he made it thank you ryan match there's a he made a bunch of the early um anything that was like a

a bed of music or an audio drop or yeah like uh you know like an intro like a 20 30 second thing like that he made you build all those what i would do is i'd send him i would send him uh i think he made dick detectives i think so yes he did yeah all the early stuff so i would send him for instance um in the in the intro in in this i sent him like the clip of the guy i said i want to say this is big time don't bring anyone's mother just mom was in the fucking stand like who was randy i sent him all those

with time codes and then you know and then he had his sister record herself saying christina that's her that's amazing yeah i remember is so long ago and i remember being like how did he how does he do that thanks match technology the match man the match man yep gosh pretty cool um not as cool as him though and thank you for yes i i'm gonna like we have an update in this real quick before i forget to tell you tom talks it's the one-on-one show i do conversations with people i want to just talk to which has been

really fun for me because it's it's really a joyful experience to have these conversations it's been on the ymh channel doesn't really feel like it fits the you know whatever the the brand or so so we're gonna move it to my youtube channel so if you go on youtube you go to tom cigar that's where the video will live the audio is of course available everywhere um itunes uh google play stitch or wherever there's audio for the podcast is tom talks please rate review and subscribe it

to it um the new episode uh that will per will will now have like the ones that are up on the ymh channel will stay there the new one comes out thursday it's with dion sanders primetime so absolute holy shit bucket list thing where i was like i cannot believe i'm talking to this guy and i was a child really yeah did you were you so nervous you didn't ask him the stuff you wanted to um there's a there's a couple things that i definitely wish i had asked or talked about i remember that it ended because i was just like i don't know

what to say right now like he would have stayed on i was like thanks for coming on and then he was he was like all right and then i was like i should have kept him on but i was yeah i was a little you're just so excited i was excited um christine you're gonna be on the road now uh you're going to gashville tennessee let me tell you about first of all thank you to everybody who came out in poosten listen the mommies came in full force it was bananas and thank you so gashville tennessee i just added a seventh show

because everything else is sold out so thursday seventh show and that is be it i'm not adding any more guys and then down in dimwatt iowa the funny bone in april and then i go to lol and san antonio tejas in july and i think there's more stuff coming in between christina p online dot com where am i i'm on the road here yep i got a bunch of stuff coming up i'm gonna do oh i'm gonna do oh my god i'm so stupid i saw ontario and i was like you're going to canada where i was born boy um i am doing some spanish shows

i think the texas april ones are sold out but there's uh there are some in june ontario california and brea and those are in that's also it what is that it's also in june so um yeah and then hopefully soon i can announce my fall tour and i will jay my dion camera and my only fans how how quickly did that descend into just jay and your d stuff only fans from what i hear sounds like a cool business model if i couldn't do stand-up anymore 100% i'd be like hey guys i'm jay my dion only

fans i wish you would do it now right now how many people do you think i mean so many people we would a lot of people would sign up for that but okay hold on just hear me out more more than i i care to admit and it would be the beginning of the end it would be pretty bad hold on though i have a better idea okay what if you had a live event and you sold tickets just just for them watching you jay or d do you think people would show up yep like would you have to do an arena

show it would be a lot it would be a lot of money it'd be a lot of people and it would be the the nice thing would be the gathering of people would be those who are curious those who are horny those who want to watch somebody fall apart that's that's my category that would be me too i mean if if somebody else was doing it i'd be like oh we gotta buy tickets to this we gotta buy tickets to this oh i gotta i thought and there'd also be people who like i want to jerk off with them so

like i start jerking off and they're like i'm gonna jerk off with them that's the second part to this is that could you legally have a show where you invite people and you're like jerk off with me and it's like an arena you could do a jay along a jerk along yeah you could do like pink floyd you could do like a laserium show before you're not like you're not like uh if you haven't like sharpened your sword enough that show could be real quick you know if you don't have complete control you know well that's the closer you have

to entertain them yeah you gotta stroke your dick for an hour and you gotta show them like all your different techniques you know 50 left 50 right and you see people falling out all the time like because they haven't sharpened their sword it would be it'd be a really gross fucking show so it would be like who can last the longest in the crowd oh god yeah and like the last guy the last guy jerking yeah it's like last comic standing but it's last guy jerking is that the pitch we're doing i guess so

maybe when you're yeah if your career suddenly takes a turn that's how you're gonna feed the family um public jerk so we have we have from the opening clip he's back i mean if you if you've ever got who he was no all y'all beautiful you remember this this is a classic this let me eat you one time yeah this let me eat you one time and you're gonna i guarantee you you're gonna you're gonna ask me to stay to your house yep you're gonna you're gonna sleep for three days my baby yep so he became so well known for that

and um and he also played with your booty this one in your kitty cat but i'm gonna put my hand in there and i'm gonna smell it ayayay i mean i don't know how you're not turning on right now new video hey how you doing baby we're doing good we're good time back you got that apple yeah ayayay there he is yeah i'm feeling it look here y'all miss that ball huh or guess what i'm coming at your fairies it doesn't matter if you got a big booty or a flat booty

i'm coming to get that booty well you know what's nice about him is that he's inclusive yeah and so many men are like remember that one guy they only take one type of booty yeah and he's like i accept all types which is really a good positive message it's very look i want to lick them droils ayayay he wants to lick my panties out one love for all the beautiful women i don't give a damn where you're from let me put my tongue in your ass and let me play with that new new

yeah baby and i want your feet too you understand it's a new addition look i want to dig in your booty ooh that's some kush kush ayayay man y'all know what's a banana split huh well we're gonna use your booty i'm gonna hit the but i gotta i gotta break it in there you understand yeah and put some corn chips smash that up there corn chips in the bananas i'm telling you and put some for corn some ice cream

go i'm gonna go to licking the gut inside your booty i'm gonna get it all uh-huh that's what you're gonna put me this wow that was a roller coaster that's something man i miss that guy wow but do you feel uh tom yeah that he's the internal monologue the unspoken internal monologue of every red-blooded heterosexual male kind of yeah oh it's just yeah it resonates there's a reason it's it's like it's a version of good morning julia it's like you know you shouldn't say it you know but he does right so good morning julia he he's that internal dialogue every man has where he's like profess your love but then you're like don't do that

you know like don't do that yeah because your brain's like oh no that'll backfire that'll go poorly and he did it every guy also sees women and goes like i'd love to put my tongue in her ass but you never go like hey guess what and so but yeah he's just like yeah of course you should say so you're saying that most people have an override in the brain everybody does don't don't do it say it out loud don't say that out loud yeah yeah think about it think about how much you want to make a banana split in her asshole yeah but don't tell her the details all the ingredients of the corn chips and the pecans yeah what kind of sunday is he eating that he puts corn chips on i don't know i don't know that's not a sunday that's not a sunday no

he i think you know what he was starting to do he was starting to make chili and he was making a frito pie you know what i mean yeah forgot what he was cooking it was for a moment he it did seem like he did forget how to make the thing yeah he goes it turned it started as a sunday and then it went into chili yeah i put some some chips on it and some sour cream oh i didn't understand what he was making for a second yeah yeah well maybe he needs a cooking show next yeah wouldn't that be awesome to watch the horny guy cooking show oh yeah he would uh this sunday i'm going to eat out your ass he was uh i'm coming at your fairies oh my god i'm coming to get that booty

oh god yeah it's pretty cool it is cool he um he has done he's really done a lot of stuff that i feel like he needs to be credited more for you know like what just coming up with these phrases inspiring women letting women know that they're still beautiful oh that's so important these days because yeah that's all i see on social media is like you're beautiful celebrate you be you be an individual and he really does reinforce that message you're right tom yep you got that apple yeah you got that apple i love you i know it was a banana split yeah he really put some thought into that he didn't just show up today no and go like oh see what he was like banana split yeah put all this yeah he's not riffing he saves it up and then he lets it go in front of the camera

it's a perfection oh that's some kush kush i want your feet too oh and that was a new addition he's never mentioned feet before i know i know he's got it all that new new new new i mean it's just maybe the quarantine has made him creatively inspired yeah it's been yeah oh that's true maybe all of us have different outlets you know yeah um so oh uh from last week found out many times many many hundreds of brits told us that we misinterpreted waffle we thought that we thought that they were calling ian the guy from last week's show a waffle right let me see if uh if i can find i don't remember what it was called um i love british slang it's my fave remember what it was called gay man's dying wish

did you name your file that was all those all those catched on real quickly that's what the folder's called i think so from five nine two oh yeah you're right you're right we're really moldy he's a young mind enjoy your drink enjoy your cigarettes whatever you're doing enjoy life yeah it's really inspiring enjoy life that's true get fucked you know you're like what get someone to shag you man or woman who cares you know enjoy yourself you and drink more you know and i would love to die being shagged i would love it you're gonna literally in every position possible here we go on my back on my front really give me a good going that and then literally die will come inside me that tail want to die Jesus Christ cool message so yeah that in the comments there's

someone who can't believe i'm sat here at nine a.m listening to this waffle so whatever we thought that that meant calling the guy a waffle which sounds very funny but look at this fucking waffle yeah but but what they explained many times i got so many people hit me up was that waffle is slang for like this bullshit listen to this bullshit oh this guy's dribble like you know somebody's talking like listen to this waffle it's bullshit bullshit yeah cool yeah yeah i like it now i learned in here so now all you yankees know that's how they use it i think this is very it's very funny but i like that i i still wish they were calling him a waffle i know i can see because he's like chunky and yeah it's like i don't know it's a great term it makes sense like hey you fucking waffle

like yeah it's just like how they use muppet is very funny yeah it was fucking muppet muppet yeah yeah anyways um god i wish i was british yeah so cool i'm so into royalty in the crown although i have to say i watched the center with jessica bill you couldn't handle it i am so traumatized and i forced myself to finish the the first season yeah like you know when you don't like something and you keep watching it anyways and now i'm traumatized and i keep thinking about the show and i don't like it i can't watch these shows it affects me too much so i'm out i'm out i'm done with liking murder stuff yeah it was such a good series though i think you of all people will really enjoy it there's a lot of

i'll check it out women getting hurt i watched uh behind her eyes which is a british um limited series six episodes so it's a drama and then like end it's a six episode limited series at the end of the fourth series they introduce a supernatural element and you're like what oh but it's pretty it's pretty well done um is this the one you were watching last night yes it was like mommy mommy mommy and i'm like i'm trying to sleep and i hear like a woman getting murdered and her son is watching or something didn't i say something to you like what are you watching this yeah happening yeah there's some real panic yeah babe i'm falling asleep i know the first thing i take with me yeah i didn't know what the dialogue was going to be in that scene you know but he just

thought his mom was dead and this doesn't make you upset you don't you don't worry about you don't like for me i connect it to my own like oh my gosh i have my child crying and i'm dead would really affect me no yeah no no nope it really affected me the center didn't affect me didn't affect me at all i should bring it up with my shrink because i'm so like oh really i get really scared yeah you do things i don't like them yeah you you panic about that stuff i do you also think if you go do the road that the kids are like abandoned yep and then i'm doing irreversible damage them site believe me psychologically psychologically they're fine because i'm like i'm not with them all the time oh no no they're fine i think it's just

the mom because you know they come from us i know and i'm like i'm when i'm away from them i physically ache you you're like later fuckers and then you you know you just go and you have your other families on the road or whatever it is you do yeah but those kids are older so it's a totally different rep you know like rapport i have with them yeah i mean jake 16 yeah damn it my first son he's uh he's driving now i'm like i can't remember when we first held him ah um jesus so it's it's uh it's official they love the big-headed animal challenge yeah people ask for more and i say why hold on to it it's gonna make people so happy oh good so let's get into some more um if you'd like to submit a big-headed animal challenge here's the criteria you

casually need to call your significant other a big-headed animal and record them but don't do a bit we want authentic reactions just casually be like hey you big-headed animal or what's for dinner you big-headed animal something like that um here's our first one from uh stefan i think stefan not sure how he says it here we go did you make me a sandwich you big-headed animal what did you make me a sandwich big-headed animal that had to process for her for a minute like just um yeah and send them in right to uh your mom's podcast at gmail.com your mom's podcast no house in the email and put subject line big-headed animal um she doesn't stop chewing which is great too she's like she actually took

a second though and she was like what did you actually just call me uh here's the next one from Scott you're gonna give me a kiss you big-headed animal you don't get a kiss that was cute that was cute that was sent in from Scott um this one is like what are you calling me when's my dinner gonna be done you big-headed animal she didn't like that at all no well allow me to that was Austin and Brittany let me suggest maybe not you know when's my dinner gonna be like you may want to slide it in into more loving like I love you you big-headed animal well yeah but you don't you don't want like all those because

oh sorry I'm talking to the master here I didn't know I'm your ear right never mind yeah you don't want to take the edge off too much okay you tell me what's an ideal first dropping of big-headed animal um because you said it to me the first time yeah I'll never I remember it was come here you big-headed animal like you that's a good one you know why that's a good one is if she's out of the room and you're recording you can have a you can set it up so that's recording then you can say come here you big-headed animal and then she'll enter like what the fuck did you just call me and that's that's the ideal video okay yeah where you go because she's either gonna come in with a big smile and laughing or upset and we'd like to see both we like the variety all right here is um

Chris and Amanda okay what are you doing you big-headed animal that's a good one go fuck yourself see that was great I'll tell you why that was great he said she ignored him let it like let it register like I'm gonna I'm not gonna pay attention I'm gonna keep doing my work yeah and then was like go fuck yourself yeah that was ideal good here's clay for the dinner the big-headed animal perfect that was awesome now she got that was clay see it's you different responses thanks for the dinner the big-headed animal that was great like that that was from clay that was good here is uh Doug and Amy come to bed you big-headed animal there you go what are you

why are you doing that was that was great can I see that one one more time that was great she was like what come to bed you big-headed animal what what are you doing that was great that was perfect yeah very cool well from one awesome video to the next I got something like here okay so your vagina stinks not your blood don't you know that your blood is not what stinking bitch your menstrual cycle don't fucking take it out on the blood network really you want to commit suicide already because you're gonna blame the blood excuse you you put a dick in your pussy you don't know where that dick has been and you acting like your blood is um what is stinking excuse you you don't know fucking know what blood is because if a blood could actually stink they

would not even transfer blood into people who actually need blood transfer infusions duh stupid she's right is this my doctor is it my gynecologist sounds like she's got her nails done nicely in the healthy peanut butter and honey sandwich you want your dick to come from the trash but you don't want your pussy to smell you want to be so lovable and compassionate really this is quite a philosopher it's really you want to go cry to people because you fucking stink and you you got a fucking disease now bitch right but what words of wisdom you want your dick from the trash but you don't want your pussy to smell yep which is another way of saying what you can't oh if you lay down with dogs you get the fleas right right it's the same shit different

toilet tom totally yeah your vagina stinks not your blood that's what they that's what they teach you in medical school i remember that your your vagina stinks not your blood yeah it's totally right i want to lick them gross wow there's really a cool thing they go really well together you know yeah yeah well what a neat you really selected some interesting clips to start the show at tom oh well you know is it because i've been gone for 72 hours i'm a little you're a little backed up a little backed up yeah i mean i drain the the dts dts are coming up yeah that's true yeah you know you um you mentioned a really interesting i know where you're going so i had this moment in in pustin saturday early show my apologies i actually had to wrap early i got off

stage five minutes earlier than i normally would because listen i'd eaten a veggie tray backstage so it had time to work through me and i'm on stage and i'm like it's at the end and i start to feel the the gurgles down there yeah and i thought this is for sure a massive turd this is a big brown turd i better i'm gonna i'm gonna wrap this up because i'm i'm gonna explode here so i got i go off stage i go to the green room i sit down no brown just wind and which occurs to me and i go hey how does my b-hole trick me so much because it's never tricked me like that except when i've sharded when i thought it was just a fart but then i sharded but i've never had it where i thought it was a brown and then it's just a fart have you had that yeah yeah don't act like it's so common

place i've had that you asked me and i've had that yeah yeah but you make it sound like it happens a frequent i didn't make it sound like that i said i've had that because it happened to me you were convinced it was a brown because yes of course but your b-hole can distinguish between brown liquid solids and gas it's true usually yes but i'm not saying that it happens all the time but that has happened to me where i was like oh i thought i was gonna take a dump and i just have to fart that's happened to me yes and i'm sure people in the audience right now are listening going nod yep that's happened to me too but i was so convinced that i was gonna like no no that's the whole thing you think you're gonna shit yeah i mean i ended a show early

just because i was like i gotta shit my pants here but you don't have a good um like you don't have good feelers down there i used to and then after two apesianomies it's completely different oh i got you so now i this is when i started i never really sharded until after i had children yeah uh it's it's it's different down there so maybe this is just me adjusting to my new body maybe it is yeah post baby body i can tell a lot when i when i think um oh that's a fart and then right away there's little hands in there and they go no this is liquid you know oh yeah and you're like oh yeah but you've had accidental shards too yes but not many but you always had an indication yeah a pretty good indicator yeah see how does your asshole know to decipher between liquid gas

it's hard to explain how does it know you just know i mean it's funny because even ellis our five-year-old right now he goes i'm gonna take the biggest poop right now i was like you really and then he does i'm like that's huge yeah like i told you he knows what's coming yeah but how does your b-hole know but then that's why i'm so i feel so betrayed by my asshole because it told me different information and that's really rare for me to have such misinformation down there human beings we're fascinating species so i'm glad we were able to address this thank you for bringing that up um you got it i mean i just felt betrayed by my asshole for the first time i not the first time but this was kind of exciting to me i saw there's a number of people did as well

a craigslist ad have you seen this one no can you read it yeah my glasses are getting fixed but i am seeking somebody who will let me chase them age and gender doesn't matter you can be real old or a lady or black even okay as long as you can go real fast it doesn't matter where it happens inside or outside but you have to be fun to chase you can't be on a bike because it's cheating i want the chasing to last a long time and i want to be sweaty but i have to catch you in the end if i don't catch you then you won't get paid but you can't let me catch you and be easy about it and if you do you won't get paid yeah this one's a shakespeare right yeah after the chasing you should say something to me like good running or you're very fast and give me a high five one hand

high five or both hands high five not because i told you to but because you think it afterwards you should post a picture of me on your facebook and make the picture caption say he caught me that's really specific that is really specific is this real i mean yeah i think it's really great it was um it was shown quite i mean you know it was retweeted and stuff people shared it a lot this is really funny i think it's pretty funny and i think this person really wants to do this really wants to do this would you chase him would i be the person he chases no i can't i can't run yet oh that's right you wouldn't be very good i mean i would talk to him like how do you feel about me being on a scooter you know i i'm rehabbing right now my knee a

mobility scooter yeah but i think he'd just be like well i can just catch you i like how he's like give me a high five one hand high five or both hands high five that's fine and also he says he's telling you what he wants and he's like but do it because you want to do it he's like jesus yeah yeah i feel like this person like stole my dream oh i think that's why i was so drawn to it i was like this is a dream scenario this is interesting dream scenario to chase someone oh i'd like to chase someone you mean specifically a woman a vulnerable helpless woman who doesn't know yeah but you don't have to give away everything jesus oh yes yeah maybe this is why i'm afraid of shows like the center because i'm afraid it's gonna happen to me depends on what kind of guy

you're scared of though what kind of guy you're scared of oh no for real really what scares you um do we really want to put that out there okay i'm guessing that good call so yeah you start interacting and go through the menu and um you know i don't touch you on the arm how about that you know um oh i only have the same thing when i go out to a restaurant you know depending on which restaurant you choose us to go to look at my crotch yeah i wonder what's hiding under those shorts but um yeah um you know and even a couple of times i get a little bit daring and make a little bit of a giggle and a laugh and i'll touch you on the leg i might touch you a couple of times and each time just get a little bit more daring and a little bit more

closer to your crotch you know like a lot of cool guys like a fool of myself you know i'm not gonna fucking gripe you you know just yeah well you know what do you think about that you know no yeah you're so funny bloody hell punch in the shoulder that guy scares me you want to know that guy yeah he's just gonna flirt have some fun would you go out with him no no i think if i were him i wish i would be like i wish i hadn't posted that video yeah this is a really cool guy heavy episode it's very cool episode i mean very cool episode and my thought on something like that is why slow down shit shower time adderall a glass of whiskey in diesel jeans diesel jesus christ oh man why does he have to point out the brand diesel

jeans is it a flex like these are designer jeans oh yeah yeah yeah he's showing you all the stuff he's got going on he's like i got adderall i got wine and i got some fucking nice jeans is he a fan of your mom's house next question sounds like it could be sounds like it could be he's got some clinic perfume there on the counter and a card that says he's loved yeah i think you should clean the mirror like if you're gonna make the video i would clean the mirror the mirror is filthy you're right clean it up a little bit oh my goodness yeah oh wow diesel jeans yeah um that's a cool guy it's super cool our boy you've just ruined your life that that never stops providing the endless 13 youtube channels that he ran and posted on

i'm sorry more 27 um and the video that he uploaded with coded file names will never cease to exist there's so many of them and today we have a really fun one um real fun real flirty and sexy he didn't fall proto buddy you're done you ready to see it yep watch this for your bag i do bigger and what's the best thing out of a man's penis me the wrinkles oh and there's her man so if you're listening what happened was a fed smoker it looks like he's at like some type of park and a real nice lady started rubbing his crotch on the outside of his pants

and they had a fun little interaction and then the lady tried to reach into his pants and a guy was like stop and fed was like come on let her do it bud i have so many thoughts that's the that's the fun for today first of all it's nice to see the romantic side of a smoker yeah i love it we never get to see him enjoying much true and it's nice to see him romancing a lady also i feel like this could be the trailer for the old whore yeah that's true she's very much the prototype is the old whore she's the old whore yeah which i got to tell you makes my dick go inside of my body the old whore is not exciting i was gonna say okay would you rather uh-huh get a hand job by the old whore and just did this exact scenario at an amusement park

oh and she's drinking amusement park it's just a city park city problem that doesn't mean that rides no i thought you but the good news is you can get a funnel cake like you always like after if it's an amusement park okay the old whore jerks you off in a park okay or you do the last jerk standing comic standing where you invite people to the arena and they watch you masturbate so i either have an arena show where i masturbate or you get jerked off by the old whore i do the old whore yeah but you're not gonna make as much money i don't want to make money i want it to go away i want to be over so i can move on with my life and never share that i had the old whore it's my own shameful experience is she the worst you've had this old bitch yeah yeah for sure this

drug addict that's drifting through a park yeah yes yes people will see me get jerked off at the park that's true right but not a lot not an arena but i'm asking you do you want to make money or do you want to do it privately and and everyone in the park is going to see you get jerked off you're gonna get seen either way this is such a realistic scenario and then tmz shows up and is like tom segura got jerked off in the park by the old whore and then now you know that that's out there yeah you've really made me think about it sorry yeah would you rather get jerked off by the old whore or or watch your dad jerk off oh man i know you're thinking about it i think i'd rather watch my dad what that's not the right answer

okay would you rather would you rather i would never watch my dad do that okay would you rather make love to fed smoker yeah i can't even believe you said yeah once but it's a it's a roller coaster i know it's not going to be normal it's in the backseat of the car that he has the dogs there the night the pepsi it's all there the car he's hopped up he's hopped up on crystal meth you know he's tweaking yeah and like smoking he's biting cigarettes in half and shit okay and it's it's going to be aggressive and unpredictable or yeah you watch your parents oh god no no just have orgasms you don't have to watch them you don't have to watch them you don't have to watch them make love or anything you just watch them no have orgasms done i'll take fed smoker all

what first of all what's it like to have sex with somebody on mat you know you've dated horse it's going to be really intense like did they is he able to have a an erection he might not but he might and he's going to be he's probably going to be aggressive and he won't even know if he comes and he won't he won't be like a regular guy who's going to exactly be like ah he's going to be like round one bitch he's gonna like keep going back and you know you scurvy bitch yeah clean my house he's gonna be like what's that smells like your plot oh my gosh and you'll be like i think it's your car because there's dog shit and everything but hold on both scenarios are going to ruin sex for me no because all i want you to do when you see your parents

it's a tight shot on their face i'm gonna throw it it's just the facial so you're gonna see your dad stop i know you're gonna see your mom quiver like shake and quiver stop you just watch it for 30 days i can't 30 days yeah every day you just added that no every every day for a month for one month you watch the morgue i think that because knowing how i get traumatized psychologically that's that's more for me why what how was that how was that a bad experience seeing your parents come you tell me i'm asking you tell you what would you watch your parents come well you're not answering i'm asking i'm telling you my answer is easy i would rather what do fed smoker i would on meth i would because here's the deal man is that once a guy is getting his dong touched it's

like different like they calm down he's not gonna calm down there's no regular guy and you're not fucking meth addicts what if i let what if i let his hair on fire yeah that that would be something he'd be like great now now let's let's step it up even more he'd it'd be all about yeah escalating the whole thing i take my chances i think the trauma from that incident will be far less than seeing my parents have orgasms every day well what do you what would you obviously would choose your parents of course no then getting into a vehicle with that lunatic no and and being like i'm i'm open to a sexual experience with you are you yeah i would rather just get that out of the way you're severely mentally traumatized nadov what do you choose

i'm gonna have to go i think fed smoker see yeah i wrote about chris larson he's the most normal of us chris you're balanced emotionally i think i'd go fed smoker too looks like you're the odd man out the three of you are fucked beyond belief i mean it's all of us you're the one that no no it's so obvious be like hey do you want to sit and watch this thing that's not too pleasurable or put yourself in a high risk situation where you might get killed maimed injured what i think that he'll keep me alive because he wants to keep having sex with me and then my parents watching that that would try you know you should you should just talk it out with him he's a pretty rational dude so i just have to stab him and then it's over okay well i just give him some i'll just give him

some downers what if i give him pills you could give him pills yeah he's open to pills he's open to everything babe yeah wow well i didn't think you and i would not see i didn't think so either and i'm very curious as to i mean first of all you're getting HIV like you know yeah it's fine i hope you guys know that too like you're not leaving there without herpes at the least less scar herpes herpes you get the moment you sit in the car yeah you sit in the car you have herpes it's not a death sentence anymore of course it's not it's not but you're going to leave there with hep B hiv you know you have a whole new medical regimen because of this one experience at least hepatitis he's definitely got of course and you're probably gonna leave there bleeding all right

more than one place so you're you're really focused on the physical damage of course physical harm here yeah yes things that i thought you would immediately know well you're going to be physically harmed let's see how he behaves with this lady he is he he's not aggressive he's in public outside at the park i said it's in his car which you've seen before you've seen him remove his teeth in his car you think he does chill shit with ladies in the car he's for sure accidentally killed somebody before oh for sure yeah accidentally for sure sure yeah and you guys are like yeah i just don't want to see my parents go okay all right all right so we pull we discussed how the goblins in harry potter at gringots

look like anti-semitic caricatures of jays and the jays here agreed we put it out there um here's a one email we got yeah it said hey chelmos what's up i was listening to the recent episode of ymh where you discussed the goblin controversy in harry potter as someone who has lots of gringots employees in my family i've got to say i think this argument is pretty talked given that the context of this series of books aimed at children excuse me given that the context of this is a series of books aimed at children and also that it's in a make-believe world where magic is real i'm much more convinced by the voice of reason chris larson also to look at a little person covered in crazy prosthetic goblin makeup and your immediate thought is

that's what a jay looks like in my view is actually way more offensive than the other argument if you take your 10 to 12 banan drill and really think about it in a fictional world in characters names like albus dumbledore it's kind of wild at one that the one of the only east asian characters in the entire series is called cho chang ta ta there are words ollie i'm not really sure what ollie's going for here but i think ollie is making the case for what we said and thinking that they're not like i don't understand he's saying that when you see those caricatures if you immediately think that looks jay stereotype that that's what's wrong oh okay so what he's saying is that jews are anti-semitic i i don't know that all the jays i mean maybe half the jays here are anti-semitic

but like and also he leads with that coming from a person that has a lot of green gods employees in their family yeah so he's saying some jays married into his family yeah and that gives them the authority to say that this isn't yeah i don't know wild argument yeah i don't i don't even understand the argument i don't understand the case that he's making i mean i think he's like even if you see them as jays you're the one that's the problem right by your being but it's like no we're seeing the stereotypes of jays like that exist our stereotypes it literally looks like in the 30s the propaganda drawings used in germany yeah literally like they're like yeah they look like goblins and then they're like the money's here yes they're counting coins all day

it's like um what do you think that that's a caricature of man yeah very strange and look we're not the first people to point out like we're not i'm not seeing penises in denver airport all day do you know what i'm saying like i'm not the first person to be like that's fucking racist or that's this sexist and that we're not those people but that one was like whoa dude that one looked totally jay it did like a stereotypical like shy lock ej whoa no no like the shy lock ej no i heard you not a good jay like you guys uh so let's just keep all right here's another one it says watching the episode you discussed green guys gloves your honor i would like to submit wato from star wars the phantom menace it said my friends and i

affectionately refer to him as jew fly look up a picture for reference one of his lines in the movie is mind tricks don't work on me only money oh i don't know oh my god i remember this guy i do oh this this carry but that's definitely like the the green gods goblins are way more they're way worse or yeah this guy's more just middle eastern you know oh middle eastern interesting hit dollar marks today jesus he's like an israeli guy like what's he like i think he's from the region you know yeah like come on buddy but you know i can see somebody so let me tell you this normally i would never i would always save these songs for opening or closings but when the song comes in it's straight up heat you gotta fucking drop it during the show oh wow so this is a collab between grass

kingdoms and fart simpson two powerful entities in our world we should mute the mics in here in a second when i play them so they he he sent me this over the weekend i listen to it like 20 times oh my gosh it's really good it's uh it's called i got a d y baby oh my favorite grass kingdoms it's fart simpson uh it's it's it's really something so without further ado i got a d i baby grass kingdoms and fart simpson let's just jam out to it and well yeah it's just gonna be during the show because it's too good you ready here we go fart simpson and grass kingdoms i'm gonna be having girls the whole weekend they're gonna be squaring they're gonna be squaring

squaring squaring baby these scanty hoes are just fucking away come on fuck you in the ass motherfucker come on fuck me in the ass fuck fuck you you know what baby you don't deserve this young bug you don't deserve this baby i want you to show me a good mom fucking time you know what i'm saying baby you can see why I played it during the show wow that was a real banger I mean two powerful flavors that went great

together yes do you think Tony John even knows that he is a fucking hit song about himself I was just wondering that if he knew how famous he really was what if he walked into like a club or a bar in salt lake city or wherever he lives and just they started playing this he was like oh shit that's a song about me baby like didn't think anything about it yeah he's like oh yeah it's a song about me you know what I'm saying I love hearing how stupid he is all in one big compilation it's so good

yeah they really man it's like it's such a fun song you know I mean like it's so upbeat it's really a party jam man that one brings joy to my heart that's a joyful song it's so fun it's really good you can't you can't help but laugh and smile when when Tony John's is around in a song like that that was fire bro that's fire shout out grass kingdoms and fart simpson really really really well done this is so good I also wanted to because I forgot that uh to me more yeah we saw like that article that

showed her like face changing yeah and then after that we talked about it so we're like don't do this to your face and then we found out that that was just a makeup job she's not she doesn't look like that see okay as somebody that you know I do makeup and I have pictures taken and everything they someone had to fuck up her shadowing so bad yeah and then I think it might have been intentional that's what I'm saying like as you know fashion shows they'll do crazy shit right I mean they'll wear crazy clothes and yeah it's uh she doesn't actually

pretty look yeah she's gorgeous but anyway she didn't completely ruin her face like it looked like in that thing and I just felt like we should point it out because we were like why are you doing this to yourself thank god you know guys Demi Moore's face is okay she's okay guys you can still live she can go on you can go on I know so fucking good um can we can we address a topic here yeah that makes me laugh so hard nidav will you please tell the audience what you enlightened us to before the show

today uh just that I'm really lucky that uh it sounds like I'm gonna be able to get a vaccine pretty soon uh because I am technically severely obese and I was gonna lose some weight but now I think I'm gonna hold that off for a bit until I could get healthy again you're so you're not you're severely obese I'm I'm actually right on the cusp like it's because I lied a little bit on my driver's license saying I'm 510 so if I plug in that number I'm not severely obese

but if I plug in 5.9 my real height I'm like like 0.1 percent away from severely obese I'm so proud of you congratulations what an achievement I'm just trying to be healthy out here Christina so what is just because I have a feeling but do you have to prove your bmi like how does that work it's a very good question because I just looked up I just saw that on March 15th severely obese people can now get it at any age range and then I looked up what is severely obese right and that's a bmi of 40.0

shit yeah and so I was just like let's just plug things in let's see where I stand stand really close to it 40s intense yeah I mean thank god I hold it well but now but being obese isn't that hard right like the first tier of fatness very easy right so what's considered obese like isn't it 30 30 the bmi of 30 or higher is considered because then we've all been obese in this studio the exception who 25 to 29 no that's overweight that's just overweight a bmi of 30 is considered obese

yeah my size of over 40 inches for men and 35 inches for women yeah so you should just go there and like fucking sweat pants oh yeah and like and drag one foot oh yeah uh oh I know exactly what outfit I'm gonna wear oh you do yeah I have a very unflattering can you can you put a couple stains on it I feel like that might help you know I mean like dry put some mustard and coffee and just kind of rub it in yeah like like I'm gonna need the vaccine and they're like oh god let's get this guy

out of here I'm just gonna I'm just gonna have a plastic bag of donut holes yeah yeah and I offer them to people yep but put yeah put the donut holes in like the bag they give you to put your stuff in you know like a ride egg and I was like is it okay if I put donut holes in here immediately that's my first question and they're like there is a man take him out of my pocket so much yeah that's good severely obese now do you think Bert qualifies for the vaccine is he considered severely obese or just obese

I think he's on the cusp because I think he is a little taller than me yeah he's a little taller yeah but he's also he's pretty round yeah he's I'd say he's just as dense but he's not losing is he so he's exercising it's only because of like drinking at night and food and food actually oh gosh oh that's so funny I don't know why that makes me laugh so hard that you're severely obese because I look you I don't I don't see you as severely well yeah I'm a really dense guy you're a big guy yeah it's it's like you I look big but like when you look at me you're like

severely obese that's not I'd say just very obese yeah as somebody who's adjusted you professionally in a chiropractors office I would say you know it's distributed well yeah it's like you're adjusting someone who's just overweight right yeah you know it's severely obese when have you ever been skinny have you ever had a thin face you've always been a heavier guy uh yeah I've always been a little chunky maybe around third grades when all that started oh really third grade wow that was really cute before then yeah

yeah okay um here check this out this might make you laugh I don't know severely obese really made my day I know kingdoms song like this yeah guess what she's fine no she's not let me see it again let me see again dude that sucks there's no way she's okay definitely not no way like she got up after that but then it was one of those things where it took a second

I think yeah she's gonna feel that tomorrow tomorrow I mean that was a full bro I didn't know cows could even kick like that did you know that oh my god I never seen a cow do anything no I've never seen that before and that was loud that was that was really the sound was good yeah I think that was her cranium cracking yeah I thought you said you don't like seeing videos where it looks like where you could see the people getting hurt real bad and yeah but that was I mean that was pretty

it was on the line you know so you so you did like this one or you didn't like it that's the thing is I don't know how I feel about it okay I think this one's actually funny I was hoping this was a Hungarian it could be and not let me hear no I think it's Portuguese I don't know I don't know what that what that language is it's um it's pretty wild this will make you feel better though sorry that was kind of alarming let's do something that's a little more chill ready sure just like more logic based okay quickly so I'm done Mr. King are we

saying that 2 plus 2 if you say it's 4 that's racist I mean that sounds like we may be mischaracterizing and what if you can quickly sum it up no that's not mischaracterizing it at all it's math is basically racist under this ideology because it says there is no such thing as an objective reality so 4 might not be the right number 2 plus 2 might actually equal 5 there you go just something to take home with you and feel better about the world you live in math is racist I thought that math was the one universal language it usually has been music yeah math and music have

usually been the universal described as universal languages but not anymore we learned that they are um colonial uh like in racist white veganism guys check your privilege point of personal privilege Tom did you know that Mr. Potato Head is no more I heard about this I heard that Mr. Potato Head is now Potato Head correct can you look that up is that what that that's a new thing Potato Head and this is for the kids because if you do it like that if you say Mr. Potato Head is a mister and that's why he's got a mustache

and then the missus has lipstick then kids will think that only men have mustaches or that only women wear lipstick which is not true because in this studio alone everybody all the men wear lipstick here it's true so yeah dropping the horrific mister horrific from the Mr. Potato Head honorific oh renaming the shape 15 plastic spud to the gender neutral potato head okay it's a notable change from one of the world's largest toy makers to untether one of

its most famous products from a binary gender or identity something that was far less controversial in 1952 uh hasbro is making sure all feel welcome in the potato head world by officially dropping the mister from mr. potato head brand blah blah blah the rebranded toy launches this fall but hold on the the packaging still identifies that as a male he still has his mustache on so how is that truly a gender neutral it's the old this is the old packaging

it still says mister on it it does no it says potato head oh but it says mr. potato head underneath oh all right stupid bitch and if you scroll down some more uh news of the name change emerged on thursday the leader tweeted about it mr. men aren't going anywhere those character names will still appear on the boxes under the print okay so that is a new packaging um yeah okay okay okay so very important it's just that all important formally known as yeah formally but they're still calling him mr potato that's kind of funny

at a bot it's at the bottom of the package now it's still mister just smaller font do you feel better we got you don't do math it's racist math is racist wow math is racist now i thought it was just veganism white veganism that was racist these are all these are all new developments you guys yeah there's all you know there's all types of different pronouns like check this out oh let's go um i don't want to be rude in any way do you have like you go by any type of pronouns or something watch i go by datum datum okay do you know what neo pronouns are uh so i go by neo pronouns i go by nick

like the name nick or like g a like guh yeah yeah so if i was to refer to you i'd refer to you as they them and if you refer to me it would be yeah so a lot of people a lot of people actually forget my pronouns so i have this exercise that i do we basically repeat our pronouns so for you i go they them they them they them and then you for me you'd go you got it i mean this dude's just trolling the shit out of this check right that's what's happening here yeah i thought it was pretty funny that's funny yeah it's funny he definitely got her to ruin her life

that's true because she is just trying to be earnestly she's definitely trying to be nice she's like oh what do you want me to call you oh man i liked it that's funny it's definitely funny jesus christ oh god um will you describe what you're seeing right here okay i'll show you i'm afraid go ahead you describe for that because there's no audio so you gotta tell the audience what they're seeing okay i shave his eyebrow the other one's gone already he's shaming with a cheap razor too that's like a bick yeah not very good that's a 7-11 yeah it sucks but now let's guess what looks good now you look great he looks perfect there's the eyebrows gone

he actually does look good he's penciling in with a black oh that looks real good pencil oh it looks like a chola brow he's doing the thin looks red i think it looks nice yeah i actually like him without eyebrows is that i mean some i never imagined i would like it it's alarming what no eyebrows does just like somebody you got to do that next well the heads all the way down but try your eyebrows oh by the way i didn't tell you why i did this why my rebirth what so so i had the hair transplant right right and then i grew it out and then i cut it down and i realized i didn't do the rebirth so those of us in the transplant community what you like to do when you're starting over with a new like you have

hair finally is you take it all the way down like i did and then you watch it grow from the beginning and that's called a rebirth so you see your new hair from when it's born and that's what i'm doing that's exciting tom yeah pretty exciting wow good for you so like pretty soon you'll you know i mean like because i know it's a lot for people to be like who is this guy you know it's it's a it's a metamorphosis it's like yeah i like that you know they used to do this in the 60s they would have people do rebirth things as a way of washing away prior trauma but also i get to see if they did a good job right that's i haven't really seen if like they really did a good job i want to see it from the beginning okay i mean it's 42 grand that's quite a chunk of change yeah i don't want

to be like because i can call them up and be like hey what the fuck yeah like though that i i shaved it all the way down and then now it's gone right and then i'll i don't know if i get a refund or anything i don't think you can i don't know i might blast i might really blast them you know oh you gonna sick the mommies on them maybe oh i wouldn't do that we'll see what dr morgan says we'll see see what he says you're gonna pee right now yeah okay all right go pee i'm still laughing at severely obese yeah i didn't know there were many distinctions to levels of obesity but oh there are yeah makes sense i've lived in a number of them severely you've never been severely obese yeah technically i have been

no i never been as fat as an adult nice nice i'm sure i'm sure he loved hearing that have you i mean i don't know but i mean close enough the fattest i've ever been was um jesus you like that i love working here here was probably um 2015 that's the fattest i've ever been that's the year i had our first son yeah so we but we both gained pregnancy weight yeah i gained some pregnancy weight and then we ate a lot that and i started to i started to diet i forget if it was right before he was born or right after i was like oh my god i saw the scale i was like what in the fuck like i knew i knew it was like it was too much that's the i've never been close to that

since then yeah i've gotten within 25 pounds of it i think but never yeah never that much because i thought you lose weight pretty quickly though when you decide to you're fast yeah i'm kind of like uh i kind of have like bird's body when it comes to that if i like actually stick to something i could lose i don't know i could probably get out of severe obesity within a couple weeks you could definitely get out of that no yeah yeah definitely but i guess go get your vaccine and then do it yeah exactly this is just you know this is just my vaccine weight i think we were gonna put a put out a message to the public to the audience it's that get super fat right now and get that vaccine and then go on a diet yeah march 15th after you get your vaccine

that's when you could go back on exactly this is not a medical show it's not intended to give medical advice tom is not a medical doctor i'm not but i i've read a lot what are you seeing here oh no what are you seeing i don't want to see what is it you see a gay bear and he's got a he's got a chicken and he's he's moving up the chicken i know where this is going i don't like it just keep talking he's massaging the chicken with cream oh no it's like bathing it in he's chewing gum chewing gum loudly he's got two nipple rings yeah he's petting the chicken he's wearing cut-off jean shorts totally straight heterosexual behaviors he's nuzzling the chicken

petting it chewing his gum why are you showing me this just to see if it didn't go anywhere i just thought it would upset you maybe oh yeah it's upsetting i don't like it i'm not a fan of this yeah that's why we played it yeah thanks but you know what though i think um because i lived in san francisco yeah i'm so used to gay male behavior sure like absurdly gay male yep this is like that was gay i thought it was gonna fuck the chicken i know that would be for the live show yeah we can't play that on the regular show and if you're wondering about live shows they're coming back and we'll come soon enough yeah um this will definitely i'm sorry for calling you fat in a dog i love you oh that's all right christina i know it comes from a good place i know

i feel bad and i love him so much it does not all right get me my conditioning and everything where i need to be you know ritardo ricardo what's his last name who ricardo revenge lisa he definitely said that on purpose derrick louis definitely said that on purpose ritardo it's in his ears why it's the perfect thing to drop because you can go like nah i meant to say ricardo yeah like it's a perfect cover it's disrespect it's great well it's also it's just rascally he's just having fun he's smiling there's a twinkle in his eye there you know he did he knows he did right before he said it he was like i'm gonna say ritardo yeah he's very pleased with exactly and then he pretended to like what's the last name ritardo yeah it's that you know yeah

ritardo this is another one that people were all talking about was uh doris berck she's an nba like sideline reporter and she was covering this game and check out gender training to know when to come so christmas a great job be here this comes from behind and gets a piece of it like it's not just when to you come like this it's how hard you come what that's pretty good right wow yeah it's how hard you come now i like yeah female people in sports yeah i used to feel they were traders to the gender of course it's not just when do you come it's not just when you come say now i'm interested i'm listening now you're listening yeah get those dogs out that you watch on your sports sesh shows and put like a bunch of good

looking ladies talking about stuff and saying things like that would be pretty cool right yeah do you want to talk because there's been obviously there was a a lot of people were pretty excited when you entertain the idea of going to see the king and you're taking them up on the offer to go on a date maybe olive garden somewhere nice yep of his choosing i'm going to go to him so you're going to go to him and he and he said he would treat you with nothing but respect like the queen that you are and i guess he put out a new this was just this morning on tiktok this morning this morning fresh off the presses you guys all right let's see my kings and queens above 18 time to go to bed i'm going to try to get a little bit of sleep

and wake up and enjoy my day all right my queens anybody in the fort worth area of texas you want to come over and cuddle or watch a movie or get a pizza you let me know now there won't be no pizza but we can cuddle and watch a movie you guys have a beautiful day i will talk to you tomorrow i love my queens and kings above 18 hold on there's a few distinctions here it's very interesting is that he's on the road first of all he's on the road which i understand sometimes i want to cuddle too you know well it's totally a legitimate thing like hey you're above 18 yeah great do you want to cuddle but it's to the kings and queens so is he now announcing that he's paulian by or fluid is he fluid like orientation fluid

yeah like what's happening and this is also new the invitation to cuddle that is a new thing some people can might describe it as a slick move you know i want to cuddle just come come lay with me yeah it's sort of like the precursor to just the tip yeah yeah yeah yeah i just want to cuddle now why do you think he excluded pizza from the awful i don't know because it was like do you want to watch something do you want to cuddle get a pizza at that point people are like all right and then he goes but there'll be no pizza yeah what yeah why why i wonder why did you put pizza out there then why is there no maybe he's saying like get a pizza and then he goes you know what i don't have any pizza here so if you were to come over right now just so you know there's

no pizza yeah we have to go get the pizza but because i bet you he's fun to have pizza with oh yeah this is the guy you want to have pizza with no no i see it he's fun no order like the right he knows where to get those good pizza yeah him to die they really get pizza yeah what i was saying you know to like i don't like pizza why would you say that i that's i meant that you got to get the vaccine so like i mean pizza's in my diet right now because i'm trying to get healthy but i'm trying to get healthy to qualify as severely obese for the vaccine it makes sense it makes all kinds of sense would you so you would get a pizza with with the king of course look what about cuddle i'm married i you tell me you tell me am i allowed you tell me look

you can't fucking like somebody now some people it's not cheating look am i allowed to have phone sex with other people am i allowed to do webcam girls oh yeah or boys or whatever other webcam guys i imagine so okay um you tell me what the boundaries are when i go meet him there's i mean not that many there's not that many now am i allowed to cuddle with him i'm coming to get that booty can i cuddle with him when he's shirtless or is that yeah of course of course of course are you do are you at all protective of me your nose a banana split he'd do a banana split with you if you want oh my god babe get some corn chips pecans ice cream and put it in your booty you know you're not worried that he'll steal my heart he might he might i'm worried about that i don't

want that to happen but if it did you know i know what it's like with that no no with that new new i'm gonna hook you up with the old whore i'm gonna find her from fed smokers video she's definitely dead there's not a chance that one is not a chance oh man pretty good though that is i will say the king looks good here though i like his glasses he looks he looks handsome with that i like it you're looking good king looks he looks healthy and you're looking forward to your date yeah of course i you know what i am actually curious about who he is what he what his interests are what his life is like aren't you yeah i actually do i want to know yeah i want to know who he is where he's from you know what i just realized he's on the road yep just like us you know what maybe

you can do the meet up on the road somewhere it's not a bad idea like where are you gonna you know where you're gonna be on this date that date kind of thing it's a good idea maybe you don't have to go all the way to Ohio he's in fort worth texas right now yeah but i kind of want to go to his hometown so he can really show you want to see the kingdom yeah exactly exactly sire sire yeah yeah majesty yeah i want to know his habit i want to see him in his natural habitat mm-hmm that's what i want like where does he go meet some of the gestures and whatnot yeah a hundred percent i want to see the natural world yeah habitat yeah that's something all right why don't we take a quick break and um we'll be right back and we are back and it's everyone's

favorite time to return of the roach himself josh potter back on how do how do you do good to see you guys see you how have you been you know nothing much going on have you had some crying ladies in your place recently nope no none of them none have come around what about the crying homeless guy uh he doesn't cry just screams the unword uh is he really oh yeah a lot i'm still outside your place i can't smoke outside my apartment now do you know that because they end me no just in general just uh coincidence and i was i lost my mind and i said oh you're gonna let this guy scream the unword and sleep 10 feet for me but i can't smoke out here this is bullshit and why can't you smoke outside i don't some rule now i don't know what do you mean they just

changed the rule but it's a rule of the building yeah yeah strange right so how far how far do you have to go i have to go 20 feet from my building now and where he where he could scream the unword within any distance where you sleep everywhere piss on the ground doesn't matter were you notified in a interesting way or no i was notified by getting yelled at by my landlord nigger yeah he didn't say that quite but uh that's any you can say yeah he's any says that on my show all the time you come on come on check it out on tuesdays yeah see any say the unword too okay so is that the guy from outside no he's white by the way this uh so you're not allowed to smoke within so you have to go 20 feet now do you do that are you no i don't i i look forward to no i smoke i'll smoke right

on my porch for christ sake now i'm like i'm gonna smoke in were you notified sorry via like a email by a confrontation who what like the landlord the landlord case you can't be smoking out here i'm posting signs tomorrow and i was like uh i didn't hear anything about that and then he was like well i'm letting you know now and i was like okay that's pretty aggressive way to do it yeah of course so i've become aggressive in my defense now and i'm just gonna keep smoking until they kick me out i guess jesus um who fucking cares well you have some you did some real fun uh research for today oh yeah no i'm here because well it's the start of march and uh we ended black history month and we've started women's history month it's the start of women's history because you can't

have you can't talk about black people without women going what about us too you know what i mean so yeah uh they have their own their month follows right after it's longer of course 31 days you have opposed to the 28 so i thought we could and since you're i don't know did you discuss your murder thing you're not you're no longer i was disappointed to hear that because it's really disappointing well because i i've i've i've decided we could reflect on uh female serial killers oh that's that's cool i i actually would love a show based on female murderers then i think i'd be less afraid because i'm so murder that's from my show it's men who are generally killing women so i'm afraid that it's gonna happen to me you understand yeah it's always when you got on your murder kick

is it like other women who get on theirs meaning like they flick their beans to it and everything they're all about it these women uh wait do i masturbate to murder shows no sicko no no i don't i get scared i get i get traumatized i think about the show a lot and that's why but i liked it for a minute yeah in the beginning it was titillating definitely you were only into it for like two weeks yeah but it was titillating in the beginning definitely yeah well maybe it'll go back it will get you back into it here back into it so the we can't have this topic of conversation without discussing eileen warren oh she i know her i love her she's monster i know her i love her she's great let's go through wine i know her i love her i'm a she's great she says yeah what do you like

about her well like um i like how charlie sterron plays her and monster she's like oh you fucking bitch like she flips on a dime which is funny and do you know it's really fucked me up that movie like i can't look at charlie sterron and be like that's an attractive woman anymore because she played eileen yeah because my introduction to her was monster that's how you first i still see her yeah as the monster she i don't know charlie's looks amazing no of course but i still see monster yeah but look at her 2020 like look like look at her like type in the year you know it just puts my brain in a pretzel because she's all like i'm a fucking ugly do you think that she took a role from an ugly person there for sure she that's called beauty privilege yes point of personal

privilege so i can't play a tranny but she can play an ugly person yeah i mean i don't like it well there she is yeah i mean look right she put on like 40 pounds of makeup or no no no fat she gained weight well and what i liked about she's also a tremendous actress she's amazing and what i like about eileen wara war knows is that she went after men who victimized women she went after right right she was well she according to her she was the judge jury and executioner of these men's fate so i guess you'd have to decide you know is she a worthwhile person to make such judgment calls on these types of men but yeah they she did claim self-defense on on most of them or on at least one of them and i think it stuck on one of them because she only got charged for six of the

seven people she murdered how did she kill she did all sorts of different things guns i think she stabbed a couple people too cool but she died she was executed of course in florida state of florida yeah when did she get executed um i don't remember the year but it was i think she wasn't the first that would be our next contest oh wait are we playing a game pioneer and the next bachelorette for tom is this is uh judias aka judy uh bueno anio who by the way that last name there went her the guy she murdered was she murdered a bunch of people her husband her son her boyfriend the subsequent boyfriend oh dear so she kept getting boyfriends somehow real i don't know who this is well she uh her judy good year was her name when she murdered her husband and she changed

her name to bueno anio which i don't even think translates properly right am i wrong i mean it's it's a bastardized way to translate it yeah it's um yeah it would in spanish you would you would reverse it you'd say anio bueno i think yeah yeah yeah like there's no such thing as bueno anio yeah so stupid dummy bitch yeah well she did that and her name was judy good year yeah and she's like you know there's a real stink to that name i'm gonna she murdered the husband i'm gonna change it up how did she murder the husbands well and this is why she's a true pioneer not only was she the first person murdered in the state of florida the first female i should say executed in the state of florida but she really kind of did the whole arsenic thing

before everybody else wow poisoning their real pioneer yes a true i mean how many copycats have come and that's how most of these people died the husband the all these people they all became terminally and severely ill it was later found out that they all had arsenic in their system after the last one where they were like this is weird all these people are getting really sick around this lady yeah we can't figure it out her son she she poisoned to the point of he was paralyzed oh my and she was like this arsenic's not working so she took him on a canoe ride and then was like whoops and tipped it over and then he sunk to the bottom because he you know he's paralyzed yeah so and he had braces and shit on it sucks when your mom does that to you yeah

if there's one person you can go on a canoe ride with paralyzed it's your mom usually mom yeah so she look i gotta say it looks like a nice lady here she does she looks she's got a little smile yeah she looks like the uh the lunch lady oh yeah she's the she ever was it ever revealed like why she was murdering everybody like does she have any she didn't have i did the motives weren't because it came later in life and she never she still denied it and then she was convicted of it no one really also in florida yeah she was the first executed in florida first ever i'd be safe to it's probably safe to say her wires are crossed yeah that's it's something like that because she kept murdering her boyfriends she would get another boyfriend which is your shot you go like

oh you were you were married that's what happened yeah you know and then he died yeah so did my son and my other ex-boyfriend she had to murder one of the boyfriends because he started putting up on some discrepancies oh so arsenic is a slow a slow grind yeah you put it in the little bit in the food a little bit in the starts a poison she she didn't even do it that like more people started doing it later you know like different ways like they put it in their soup or whatever she did it in she gave special pills so she didn't even cloak it that much that's like sure give me your special pills what does this do oh just make sure it's stronger yeah it's because your these are my special pills so she they all fell for that shit which is why i would kill you

slowly like that too but not with arsenic because it's detectable in an autopsy that well now we've learned because of the duty here oh great thank you how would you do it slowly i'd use some kind of a chemical undetectable by autopsy okay and do you have anything in mind or you're just gonna do it i don't have anything in mind you're gonna google it with nadav yes of course what chemical can i get that's undetectable i don't know but i don't worry christine i'll help you yeah yeah eight years later when he gets the result but what's interesting about the difference between judy and eileen is the judy would i mean um is the physical stuff of like i'm gonna come up to a man and shoot him and well yes it's the violence difference way more and the motives because

like you said eileen had a bit of a righteous motive in terms of like these are bad men these are john's but these are men that are paying you for a service you're just gonna kill them of course so rude it is so rude uh you want to see a violent one we got this next lady yeah who's also of a latino descent or latina wana baraza who was a mexican wrestler she looks like she's not around no she was extraordinarily violent and perhaps you can translate this bit of spanish for me they called her mata viejitas it's a m a t a v i e j i t a s which i understand to be translated to little old lady killer yeah i mean sort of those are these are just what they've referred to her as because she murdered about 24 to 49 somewhere god damn old ladies old ladies no that means that

translates to kills old ladies okay kills old ladies oh wow well that's what they they just called her the little old lady killer in american so now did she do it for financial gain she stole their possessions yeah but after a while i mean it was just for the was she doing it down there in mexico yes and she was convicted and everything in mexico now they don't execute do they no uh she has 759 years in prison so she could get out it's okay back on the streets now do these women sexually assault their victims a lot of men primarily sexually assault or not this one it doesn't seem there was no evidence that she did that she just strangled them and beat them to death she did yeah fucking a strangled and beaten like no that's very violent yeah that's extremely

extraordinarily violent and lots of them and then just steal their shit yeah person is 24 to 48 people 24 to 49 somewhere that is super savage but you definitely don't see this normally with women no no but she was a wrestler and she was uh but it does make sense like if you had to pick a victim the elderly kind of a perfect target no yeah i mean they're on their way they can't fight back very low effort yeah they're like you said they're on their way i mean how much do you really have to beat an old lady it's really the it's what animals do in the wild they look for the old and the sick and the you know that's what they target that's true when you when you see a cheetah a lion that's like perfectly healthy and hunting they don't go after the like the big water buffalo they go to

the one with the limp they're like fuck this guy up yeah that makes sense so she's just a predator out there natural selection you know 700 years in prison yeah 759 759 so that's big 760th year can't wait baby yeah see you in fucking 270 yeah she just got she just went in in 2006 so she's got about oh 240 four years less 744 years left okay so i think we could see her so this last one uh you want to pull her i love this segment jox this is really finally women are getting the recognition they deserve oh yeah oh and uh just like when when you have women get their recognition you have to include uh newly transitioned women as well yeah you know they always want to steal our thunder you know that's see this is where it's going to become a sticky wicket for women

because this is beat i think is how you pronounce it formerly dead name uh wolf gang okay is when he committed or she committed this crimes well this is where my brain gets into pretzel if you transition and you have a dead name that person wolf gang committed the crimes that person's dead right beat didn't do shit right interesting so in the legal world yeah so i'm gonna get out of i mean how do you don't you think she should be let out of tom did that yeah yeah exactly it's a legal defense i bet you it's been used and what did beat formerly wolf gang do she murdered five women in an infant oh yeah uh they called uh i think i don't know exactly what oh in germany or okay uh foreign uh but they called her the pink giant because of her size she's a very tall man

woman and man i'm all sorts of pretzels up with this yeah yeah i see that but uh often would wear pink lingerie when committing their crimes and the way that beat here was caught um wasn't for the like could have very well gotten away with the murders but was caught publicly masturbating with a pink bra on and that's where things started connecting the dots you see after they were in custody so it happens while i always say be careful where you masturbate because it could lead to you're gonna masturbate if you're gonna masturbate in public don't have skeletons in your closet wow so she was killing women and children just five women in one just just five yeah yeah yeah so uh very just and we do i'm sorry did we

transitioned in prison by the way in prison oh do we know do you know the motive sorry was it to steal i don't i think it was to steal uh they're what they didn't say in the things i could see real quick but i think it was just pure you know what happens sport together i can kind of roll with these stories um you know when someone's killing women killing men as soon as i hear that they killed an infant yeah me that i go knucklehead you know yeah real no need to be real doofus yeah yeah yeah real rascal yeah but yeah i had to include beat here i might even go as far to say it's a goofball you know yeah well and also i imagine transitioning in prison not easy you don't have access to good makeup or medicine or hormones so i don't know that makeup job looks

pretty good that's not that's like kool-aid on our lips right like that's how they do it in prison i mean a stylist would help and they don't let you have them right i mean katlyn Jenner had the best of the best working on her yeah and even that you're like you could price but i will say beat here lightest sentence oh light sentence lightest of them all by a mile stop it 15 years in a 15 years oh so she was really kooky shoes she was really far gone okay well you know what that's good she needs help so yeah that's a wow so i mean lesson lesson out there if you're gonna serial kill maybe take the beat route take the beat route and change your your you mean transition afterwards yeah i think it's just a smart way to go about it going to the psych wards definitely

win yeah yeah i would do just about anything if i got convicted of a crime to go to the psych ward absolutely that's true so that's not a bad idea so when i kill a bunch of women and children then i'm like i'm a guy and then they have to play and maybe just like i said maybe because wolfgang the dead name did this maybe now we can get a new trial for beat right and maybe that's what gets you in the psych ward you're like i didn't do this my old persona exactly you know and i wasn't my fully formed self but we wouldn't be um being who we want to be if we didn't wrap this up by once again pointing out happy women's history month exactly women's history month that's the message behind that is the message of today oh boy really really a nice way to honor we get our

period all month long together you know you all sync up at once we all stick up around the world on the 11th and your your bloody pussies i don't march in the streets waving here like i really i'm really good i don't think i need a month yeah i think these instagram holidays are just you know when everybody's like today is national secretary day like no it's not your vagina stinks oh we gotta do more of a women's month thing i like that yeah yeah it's uh like i don't need it you gotta honor your kind i heard you mentioned by the way math is racist did you know being an environmentalist is uh racist as well now the environmental movement climate change if you support it we know that veganism yeah is racist yeah why is um because the movement for climate

change is a lot of white people oh oh climate change is a racial justice problem god darn it okay so fuck the world yeah earth i don't want to see us fix it because the white man said to fix it so true that's very true your blood is not much stinking bitch thanks i love this uh this sound drop guy he's right on the nose i think it's a woman yeah that's a woman my bad sorry about them she says i'm doing that you're really i am a real problematic person i don't do it out of uh anything other than you profile some of these uh super cool chicks on a josh potter show oh yeah i mean we're we're looking for all kinds of cool chicks and we talk about murder all the time because the ladies love it sorry christina you're in the yeah you're in your own you know s l just did a

sketch about this how girls stay home and they love watching a murder show and it's true white women do we love it i mean you don't bridgerton and murder you don't do it though i i don't i gotta talk about it with my shrink i don't know it scares me it'd be really nice to have you on board i tried you guys the center really messed me up the center that's not even a that's a hardcore show i know no to me it was really hardcore but that just shows that because you're in fucking you're in fucking kindergarten right now with that shape i know i don't i don't listen that's a quick kid are you serious yeah because okay like silence of the lambs that movie i've seen that one a lot and that one still messes me up you mean like the lion king of serial killer stuff

that's the lion king is that right yeah it's like that one that's like as disney as it gets for fucking serial killer shit really yeah she's a great big fat person that was the funniest movie ever she's a great big fat person it's a great movie though it's fantastic it's fantastic how i'm seriously what should i watch okay then give me give me a watch list get me back on board i'll come up with some stuff yeah let me know where should i go i mean your husband has a great curated headflips i'm sure i have quite a few it's true who am i talking to i like the monster the monster is good that's a great movie well that's a woman probably you you saw that's why i like that you even said in the beginning that you saw justice in her actions i like it i like the idea that she's

murdering uh yeah john so it's cool and she's got a girlfriend and she's trying to have her best life big deal she's trying to do good trying to do gooder okay uh well rate review and subscribe to the josh potter show and of course watch his show the video of his show on this very channel it drops on tuesdays that's right tuesdays at six a.m pacific time nine eastern you can watch them all here you can listen everywhere you download podcast thank you for coming in josh no problem i have a show as well absolutely yes yes march 21st west palm beach improv please come they're doing a great job the that club was a lot of fun man that was because they're open yeah that's we've got it was awesome wonderful all right awesome well that was a real learning experience it was and i think it

it's replenished my interests and murder shows i'm going to go back to it yeah but under your tutelage i need you to show me the way oh i've got the way i'll i'll show you that i have a full path can i tell you something though i'm still afraid from the night stalker like every time i see that one come up on netflix i get scared that's the kind of thing like that should scare people that's made that that should instill fear because it's truly terrifying to to like get informed of the the full scope of what he did it is it is it should be scary to yeah because it was real yeah okay i was just thinking that that was a great segment from josh and that i've never i've never had sex with josh even though we've been really all over the world together that's

weird and you just realized that now never and i can't wait to talk to him about doing some stuff that doesn't make us gay but you know i mean right because just because you have sex with other men it doesn't mean that you orient as i'll make you come yeah it's just easier to have sex with guys because they're down to have sex exactly it's just access it's access and it's honestly it's um it's what you're it's what you should be doing yeah if you're a guy you should be well and also tom just because you have sex with some guys doesn't mean that we can't stay married absolutely if you're listen if you're a guy and you're married to a woman and you're having sex with a bunch of other guys that woman should have your back yeah you know definitely yeah that's the way i see it

well society really stigmatizes men for having homosexual thoughts or inclinations whereas it fetishizes the woman i can't wait to read this book do you have it suck it right that's what it's called oh that's the a new book that's the name of the book is this the book you're gonna write uh yep that's what i'm gonna pitch this is big time oh shit i did the wrong one ready yeah i heard you bitches was looking for me i'm excited i've said this before i want to say it again every day your stories on instagram it's a ride thank you i appreciate because i actually i'll forget that it's you curating it because it's like turning on a show yeah i just be like i want to fix right now i want like i need this distraction i go to your instagram i hit your stories and it's just a roller

coaster of what you've found it's different than these you know usually mix it up well they're two different areas yeah two different audiences two different audiences the stories i tend to go i'll mix it up with like a puppy singing or you know a cute animal i can't wait to see what you got yeah sure let's see let's go okay here we go i give my deepest condomances to the family of dustin diamond who act on say by the bell dustin diamond died at the age of 44 today of stage four country and i give my loving condomances to the family so this was the formal announcement from dustin's publicist when he passed away of cancer recently i can't believe it anyone thinks i'm the dark one you know or that i'm fucked up

i just think it's funny that like he's the spokesperson for the diamond family no one thought that he was the spokesperson like why are you making you know and he's not even framed up properly let's see the next one okay here we go if i see a guy hit a woman we're trying to rape them he's going to get hurt real bad and possibly die by my hand no no looks pretty cool pretty close what what i don't know but that's a really that's an that guy stands up for women that's pretty cool all right next one more men need to stand up against violence towards women and this is what we're learning is women's history women's is it women's history month or just women's i don't know all things you know what you

know what i feel like who cares i know like i i i could let's get it wrong for the whole month i don't care yeah is it natural please use responsibly so i said i wouldn't do it but i'm gonna do it this eye technique involves a seduction of all things you want to make it happen i want to make it easier here you go so what you're gonna want to do is when you get to that place you're gonna want to really get yourself going i mean really be vivid with it and um it's going to start to show in your eyes it's going to show in your little facial expressions and they're subconsciously going to pick up on it and it's going to start to affect them too so basically just think of her or him i don't know going down or whatever and just stare him dead in the eyes be

completely present it's going to start to transfer that over to them why does this work well using the brilliant science of mirror neurons and before i get you fucking idiots in my comments saying oh it doesn't work try it and if you don't think it works don't use it i don't care because i know it does one more time please use responsibly don't use this on someone that doesn't want to go there okay tom what what what is he teaching though okay you first of all use it responsibly if you want to seduce a lady or okay or a man in your case another man what it's not gay i know stop it stop judging yourself i know you want to look them in the eye and picture them think about them going down on you it'll it's through science it transfers

the feelings and then you'll transfer the feelings it's all i do is i look at the person and picture me going down on you okay wow i felt that did you feel it that's what you're supposed to do and then transfer sexual vibes and then you're supposed to be like oh yeah and then that's how you seduce a person wow use it responsibly guys otherwise people will be blowing you left and right yeah yeah don't listen to this waffle i said it people always want to know how do i know if it's a red flag first rule if you're googling your partner's behavior that's a red flag does my husband watch too many murder shows right that's a red flag i don't know if i've ever googled have you googled one of my behaviors

no have you googled my behaviors no and we're good i don't know about that but i just thought this was interesting it makes sense though it i mean to yeah if you if you are wondering is this behavior normal that's a red flag yeah right well i had with you yeah when you're like when we first started dating and you'd be like i'm gonna smash your fucking head in oh yeah kill you and rip your eyes out i like you so much i was like that's definitely a red flag that probably was a red flag yeah but i stuck with you i pushed past those flags hello money moon doll you show our pretty girl i just wanted to tell you that you sure got a good looking little body on y'all and how old you are no but i ain't gonna impose if you're under age i'm out i'm out that's a good way

to that's a good way to get involved in things sir he's got win chimes yeah but it's a man and now i kind of feel bad for women why it's women's month that this is out there yeah just that you have to be like you know i mean like i'm glad i don't have daughters oh i would go crazy just because of this guy this guy alone would make me go can we make it a boy yeah well it's aggressive because women aren't aggressive like this and when they are it's definitely notable you're like whoa now do you but do you think there's a woman out there that's turned on by this i guess there is right there's got to be somebody that this works on kind of cool i love the outdoors and he reminds me of my my uncle my uncle popcorn who lives outside yeah

he lives he lives in the Appalachian mountains oh it turns me on my uncle popcorn oh you know um this way i had three kids what you know my husband don't like me because i was fat tells me didn't love me there you go that's the tell me that this is a confessional it was like start she was like well you know yeah i wanted to see where this is one of my favorite lanes of tiktok which is this is not how it's meant to be used you're not doing it right it's one of my favorites

me too like let me tell you about my day what she's telling her about her life well you know i mean when he left uh when i gained weight and what totally insane that is totally true that's my favorite lane too that or when they're addressing one person and they don't understand that the entire world sees their talks yeah like damien you gotta come for dinner tomorrow now we're gonna have a brisket you're like this is going to everybody i know right wait hold up i got a date right now uh she's all right i'll call you after oh nice to meet you oh you got something in your nose actually no no other nostril you can leave it man i wouldn't have done my hair if i knew you weren't gonna do makeup oh you did oh looks natural she's gonna move my

keys tesla but yeah i got some trophies back there um let's cut to the chase i'm gonna bang you so this is the guy he's a pickup artist and this is how he's teaching men how to FaceTime on a FaceTime date a lot of uh negative energy right make her make her insecure yeah love it yeah who works like who does this work on i mean somebody for sure for sure on somebody it's a young insecure girl i mean if some guy did that shit to me i'd be like what what who are you it's so it's so hard to even be around this type of it's he's like just a tear he's such a douchebag like he's a stereotypical douchebag he's like the dojo teacher at cobra kai yeah he's just a douchebag and i watched this one a few times because i was like is this real he was like straight up i'm ready

to bang so are all his talks like this i mean yeah that's his lane that he's teaching guys how to be a douchebag and how to like pick up artists dammit dude okay no there's so many so i don't know why the chick i've been talking to didn't didn't hang out on valentine's day you want to talk apparently she spent the day with her boyfriend no meaner never had the whole talk about how far what this is and if there's some monogamous or anything so can't be mad and of course as a guy i swallowed i swallowed a pride i swallowed a heart because she's worth it so i'm like okay come back anytime but it's still a shot in the face

but we didn't have the conversation can't get mad because i assumed it was more than it was this true he's very mature about it he is very mature i wish you would clean his lens but it's very um i mean that was sad that was sad and he's shirtless like i wish you would have put on a shirt for this discussion um and also like when do you have the talk with somebody it really brings up an interesting question yeah when do you bring up exclusivity i mean he's i think he was just probably had like a rapport with somebody and that person maybe didn't because he's like she's spending with her boyfriend so he found out she had a boyfriend that way

but it's heartbreaking it's heartbreaking especially for valentine's day yeah yeah i mean i wonder how what kind of conversations they were having whether it was like super casual and he was just like oh yeah all right what'd you get for lunch yeah and then he's like i thought we were dating yeah she's like what you think he read totally he may have like she that's a tough spot to be in by the way yeah the not sure and and especially you know where you get this these vibes get complicated the most i think is like if you go to a office oh right and you have a good rapport with someone you're like oh i think we like be clicked and then you're like talking laughing maybe you're in the break room or you you go you have work lunch or something and

you think you have a great thing building and that person's like yeah i'm just talking to you because we work together that's right but see i have a feeling he's the guy that thinks the hooters waitresses into him yeah he's the reason that franchise survives like oh yeah he comes in why there's there's new openings all the time yes they're like well he's a sweet guy i think he's a sweet guy he's no he's totally sweet and he's totally vulnerable and i feel bad for him i really do but he needs to wise up kid you gotta you gotta make bold moves right he's guy he's i mean he's learning but he also was like he even said something very self-aware which was he's like i made the assumption the assumption well look he's no spring chicken he needs to learn

he's learning yeah he's learning let's let's give him a pass at a glacial here's how you might want to react if you walk it on your child at an inopportune moment oh sorry for interrupting so what an amazing display thank you it says that's never would have thought to do that myself well it's like it's like what to do with walking on your child when they're masturbating oh i didn't realize i was in sorry for interrupting your masturbating and don't try not to shame them or make it more embarrassing so don't be like what are you doing well duh but do you think they even be like sorry for interrupting of course that's embarrassing no especially like your kids about

to come you think you're gonna say so what would you do you'd be like just let them come well yeah i'd be like i'll be like oh man i'm sorry i screwed up your load earlier yeah you know you're done coming you gotta take a shower bud at least wash your hands yeah actually i'd feel like kind of a jerk for walking in on it if they're doing it in the bedroom their bedroom yeah it's your you're the one yeah she didn't even wait to hear come in she knocked it open and then you know your kid's jacking his dick i mean i'm sure it happens all the time of course it does did you ever get walked in on uh not by my parents but definitely by every sibling oh gosh it's rough right it's the it's the coolest feeling in the world

because now everyone gets to see what makes me come oh my oh my god would you want to put on and stuff yeah yeah i'm not one of those psychos that uses memories or thoughts to jerk off to and and so did they say anything to you when they caught you um i think one of my sisters is like are you watching porn like one of those but i mean my brother was like all right i'll be right back yeah something like that yeah it's he knew what to do well yeah i mean he's like i do the same thing let's see do we watch the same thing oh yeah we put the new thing it's like oh six i mean that link dude yeah i mean that is a tough one when you walk in on i've walked in on my parents having sex not with each other but with other people and usually my dad would scream at me get out and then

you're like all right i think i did walk in on my dad jay and his d one time i think i did yeah i think i did means you did yeah yeah your your brain's trying to block it out it's really trying but the excitement of it is pushing through so you got to see that orgasm i didn't see the face but i know he was doing something because it was like the middle of the day and he was napping and then i opened the door and he was like get out i was like oh i think you're jacking it yeah i never got to see it i didn't see his hand because he wasn't turned towards me he was turned towards the wall man yeah did you ever see your dad jay and his d no never saw that never walked in on the time they told me that i walked in on sex i was so young that i actually don't have a memory of it

i was the first time i spent the night i went to brian's house and i was like i want to go home i went home and i i guess i saw them but i was super young no so i don't i don't have a memory of it i luckily didn't get like i didn't get caught jacking which i did plenty of i was gonna say that i didn't get caught jacking it but well i guess i've jacked off in the shower and then you know someone opens the bathroom door but they don't see you jacking off yeah and bedroom for sure like somebody came in when i was doing that but by the time they came in you know i was covered and like you know covering for it yeah i quiver when i see you maybe so maybe the idea is once your kid is at jacking age to allow them to have a lock on their door yeah i think that maybe not a lock

but just also just don't knock and walk in just be like are you jacking it right now like get clearance you know and i come in are you good done coming i don't think so babe i think that's too much still jacking your dick are you still jacking your dick you know i don't want to ask my no one wants to hear their mom say that god that's so gross because they're gonna start jay and their d's eventually but oh yeah oh yeah they will and then you have that for years they're gonna start jacking and then it's just jack city you're gonna find so many crusty things in the house socks and shorts and shirts and towels okay that's good but that's normal why is everything crusty because there's come on everything babe oh my god well can you have a talk with them like can't they just

come in like tissues or something and then throw the tissues in the trash or burn them like why do you have to come on everything you know what i mean i'll have the talk i'll be like you need to stop coming on all our stuff yeah don't don't come on everything just come on tissues like a civilized person i'll give them a talk tonight tonight they're two and five it'll register no guys i want to tell you about something that's coming around the corner pretty soon no how soon does it start i have to be quiet my husband is upstairs he was at the bar earlier and he made a new friend so he's up there having fun i can't wait to hear all about it this is an n re guys so back in the polyamory lane wow what's enm i forgot will you google it

oh shit i forgot um enm ethical non monogamy oh the movement this is polyamory i guess the question okay okay it's uh well anyway she can't wait to hear all about it yeah i can't wait to hear all about your encounters with dudes yeah are you gonna tell me about them or are you gonna keep it a secret doctor the doctor i i talked to said the key is just you know open relation open communication yeah you know it's um what's so fascinating about these poly relationships is that they're always about that they're like it takes constant constant you have to check in yeah well that's because the other person is so full of rage and anger and like betrayal so upset that you're doing this yeah that's so upsetting to do this

it's so unnaturally weird some of the ways that women emasculate men with holding sex questioning them not letting them lead controlling them withdrawal being critical being ungrateful punishing them with harsh words or verbal attacks dominating them demeaning them not respecting them blaming them and comparing them to others oh no boy oh boy did i used to do this to men in the past now all of those things above are the realm of what i call the false feminine the maid and the princess but i'm gonna talk to you about them in a totally different video stay tuned to that we disempower men as if it's a zero sum game now what that means is we believe that if we give our true feminine more time and energy that we'll lose something be less successful

less powerful less safe or less effective it is the belief set up hold that that is why we did you feel emasculated i mean i first i was like oh she's she's pretty cool she's telling things not to do i like it don't know back talk yeah get the beer ready don't put out don't dominate yeah don't like it's like yeah she's smart i get it yeah and then she's kind of goes on and on it's like uh you know the other thing we don't like when you fucking yappity yapp happy women's month okay it's 2021 can we stop with comments like this like you don't need to tell me that i have value in a patriarchal society because of my physical appearance it has been hammered into me since birth jeez i would think a chick like that just feels flattered to be told she's pretty yeah you

know yeah i would think that you'd be like oh cool that's your compliment for those just listening it says hi off topic but you're so pretty and that was her response yeah that was her response to someone being like you are so pretty fuck you it was her response to that that's cool i mean they're not that's kind of the different i guess you guys get told that more often it's annoying it does get annoying where you're just like do i have no value intrinsically is it only how i so i get that i get that she's not getting that all the time that's my point that's my point you're not hearing that all the time okay let's fucking let's be real here yeah she should appreciate a compliment yeah yeah if you're a fucking four then you you take you take the fucking compliment

when you get it yeah she looks like i'd lean more nose are you gonna cry piss your pants maybe maybe shit and come i don't know i just found that on tiktok i was pretty good you found the best tiktok ever yeah i don't know what this but i like it that was it yeah just like that are you gonna cry piss your pants maybe maybe shit and come those are all the things you want to do yeah it'll be a great day if i cried piss my pants and shit and come um Jesus you said you're a high value girl i believe i am and that means your femininity would be number one right that goes on opposite to aggression opposite of aggression yes aggression is masculine so maybe i should turn off my sales when i'm dating i'm just telling you

what high value men want is not aggressive females they want feminine women you may be successful in your career but your education your income does not increase your value to men okay i did a broadcast on that two three days ago yeah listen stupid men value your femininity your beauty your fitness your submissiveness your cooperation your ring i like it i like it a lot so this guy is kevin samuels he's been floating around tiktok and he loves to break it down to women why they're not at market value i don't know why so he'll be like how much do you weigh okay you want to take a break

god happy women's month i wish kevin would jump in right now and tell you to knock that shit off so all these women are like i think i'm a 10 and he's like no you're not what's your dress size and they're like i don't know i love them i'm like a size 12 he's like you're too fat and that like he'll he'll break women down so much who think they're awesome and he's like he's like first of all you got two kids two different men nobody wants to buy you your value is like at a four right now market value you're like oh shit i like it i don't find that highly entertaining i think yeah it's awesome yeah maybe he's a little bit over the top

but there's there's a lot of honesty in that too like when he was when he was listening what men value i would say he was pretty accurate what submission that's where it gets like okay i mean i don't i don't that's more old school to be like i like submissive but the other stuff he was saying like he said your femininity your uh your beauty like those are things that men value um that men generally don't value your income or your don't care don't care they don't go like oh that you have a phd most guys aren't like oh you do you have a phd wow like that that is attractive no they don't care but they do like intelligence that's not education though you know like intelligence good men like a woman who's not totally he is the dampania of dating he's so why you're

fucking poor yeah yeah but the problem too is a lot of these girls that kevin talks to are delusional about their value on the marketplace so to speak and that's why he's like dude now like yeah you think you're at a fucking 10 bro let's be realistic i don't think that most men value i don't think most men value some submissiveness i think they do want i mean everyone values compatibility but like who you are compatible with it varies from person to person you know some people i guess need that i mean you know i guess uh i think i'll tell you i mean look my my thinking is everybody wants to be cared for right yes and your spouse your man your whatever i take care of you and i see that as a form of submission whatever yeah

but like i i don't see that as submission though you know well caring for somebody well i mean if i were like an alpha at home i wouldn't be like that maybe like would i be like fuck you i'm not cooking for you i'm not i work for a living you know like yeah some women wouldn't yeah switch at home and be you know i here's the i'm told this is the other clip you're if you ranked yourself yeah honestly if you ranked yourself on a scale of one to ten yeah let's get back to reality now i'm in reality no no you're not in reality i'm in reality you're not in reality if you're gonna be a 10 we can end this because that's not reality you're not a super mom so what are you what are you okay man check that out too check that out too this whole this let me just go

ahead and say this bullshit this one around black women they call yourself a teen never say nothing that is some of the most destructive psycho babble is going around okay that's a little aggressive i know it's great yeah so also like it's i've gone down the lane of black tech talk and it's pretty fucking amazing so this is one of the things that's happening in the black tech talk world and people are making fun of kevin samuels too and parodying and it's great it's great i mean he i don't know like what he said about this is a problem in the black community but she's not a 10 she's not a 10 and most women that call themselves 10s not 10s yeah i agree to be considered 10 look regardless of what race you are of course 10 means

your model yeah you're like he said you're not super model like that's what that's what's supposed 10s supposed to imply i'm like flawless who's that actress that's getting all the money on only fans bella thorn bella thorn arguably a 10 would you say yeah she's like a nine and a half i'd say the only fans brings her down a little right see to me she's gorgeous look i don't know like i don't recognize her from i'm saying from the image i think she's really pretty well whatever the point is that's the girl who's i don't even think i see i would even be like Beyonce is a 10 sure but also you're these people are so famous that you go like you're a you know i mean she could be a girl in like a high school at this track yeah like she's attractive though

she's attractive definitely also but also if she was like i'm a 10 i'd be like no you're not well it's gross i think it's yeah it's gross to tell people you're usually here's the thing people who say that they're at 10 are usually they're trying to tell themselves like i'm a 10 yeah like this was what's happening with this lady in the talk is she's like no i i i'm great therefore i'm i'm the highest mark you can be and you're going to go like well no well because i did that that's arrogance and it's also like yeah it's not and if you were smoking hot and you i'm a 10 then you're just an asshole you're gross yeah yeah that's so true so either way calling yourself a 10 it's gross it's it's just not attractive yeah what you want is you want someone

who's more down to earth like this guy hello tiktok this is to start warning for a lot of the ladies on here oh good i've been on here for a while and there are a lot of extremists muslim extremists what looking for ladies to groom so be aware i gotta tell you i've been down every dark corridor of tiktok haven't found that lane of talk yet the groom i gotta tell you when he started his warning i thought it was gonna be way different same i thought he was gonna be like i'm gonna fucking find one of you bitches and tear you apart like he's he's warning you about the muslims right yeah i mean i've seen some muslims extremist stuff on tiktok but i haven't seen the grooming videos i'd like to come across them if i may yeah it's interesting send them in i think it'd be

interesting and knife checking when a person has a blade you can't do this it's not gonna work you can't do this uh the object is you have to keep your hands further away from you what what babe someone's trying to stab you with an knife this is what you gotta do this is what you this is what you do and what you gotta do is you're checking the arm when the blade's coming in so you gotta check it check it check it and then return you can i poke if you want but the object is learn your defense first you have to make sure you check so you don't get stabbed or slashed there's a whole routine on defense eating what you don't think the guy's dojo in his apartment

is i mean it's framed beautifully especially for a lesson like this i really enjoyed that i like that his face is cut off um yeah the brusley posters the the demo it was really good this is how you fight off a guy with a blade it's probably the stupidest thing you can do right i mean i don't know how to fight a guy off with a blade but i'm pretty sure that sounds like that's more how did you your Brigade who's next

all right we lost you bet who's next you lost fuck your mother fat smoker lives aren't you glad you fly in first class um oh no man i don't know if this has anything to do with that but you don't have to see this this is chaos i don't know that would really freak me out if that was happening behind me to be honest like oh yeah get this guy off the i would stand up and just be like i want to keep my eye on this guy if you don't mind he seems like he's on math definitely he's on something yeah meet me in america i think

they're on their way to the caribbean you know oh i guess she's like meet me back where i'm from they're definitely traveling out of the country damn yeah well i mean i always think like i don't know i guess his his brain is so addled by drugs like what prompts people this is real crazy this fired up real fucking crazy man like on a plane you're so subdued yeah it's just quiet you're like i don't know how you chill like how the people like two rows in front are filming him i would not be like that at all oh hell no like just sitting there like uh uh no i would not take a camera out no work no i don't know be sure i am totally sure i don't think you're sure i am probably sure

this corn face down all right let's see the uh next one one a corn two a corn three a corn four a corn five a corn six a corn seven a corn eight a corn nine a corn zote a corn one to corn two to corn three to corn well to corn that was cool both both were cool both the tika guy and the too much to drink lady yeah i just didn't know have you ever seen yep next one drunk all right here we go congratulations from the orange county clerk's office we wish you the best in all your future endeavors and we appreciate the good job that you have done for the state of indiana goodbye connie that was just meant for real honey yeah but that was just meant for connie i know yeah

like why isn't on tiktok yeah yeah maybe they're like connie open you talk up today we did one for you okay one more sure i love these you know i could do this all day thank you my sister i'm your mother fucking sister you don't play with me like that mate i don't play that motherfucker don't cabal it off you're my motherfucking cabal ain't you got damn sick you damn bro i got you there you go thank you sister i ain't your mother fuckin sister i'm the boss i ain't your mother fucking says i'm the boss i ain't i ain't your mother fucking says i'm the boss i'm the boss we got it i think it's funny that he's calling him sister it's a setup it's hilarious setup yeah for sure yeah for sure he told them i call you sister and then you

get mad yeah yeah sorry your dog has only a month to live that's not long um i've been there with three other dogs they all had cancer and all that stuff you never had a dog with cancer so this lady is new on tiktok and she's learning how tiktok works this lady and so people have been asking for shoutouts and stuff and she'll be like guys don't send me this many shoutouts i can only do one at a time like she really um kind of is adjusting to life this is filmed too well yeah no i'm saying she threatened me like this whole plane you're old then you got stops and this or something do y'all gotta stop hey if y'all see if y'all see my swag on here y'all want to

come holless i don't have to say y'all yo we landed yo we in the eight you know what i'm saying tell you we'll pull up me and t we in the city but he your partner he has his math correct yeah you know why yucca he ain't the leader he's scared somebody got somebody got to stand up my dog man hey hey everybody hey man okay one more one more okay okay okay okay how about how it is y'all that's perfect yeah yeah they're perfect we have about four i don't believe that it's real though really because of the way it's filmed like how can you get that closest like no no one who's acting like that you can go like this to them what if it was his homeboy though what so but like still it's like it's it's too theatrical right and it's like and their position i mean that's my

thought on it i don't know what do you think yeah like there's like some perfect over the shoulder shots yeah yeah everyone's just like how that other one was like you know everyone's staying quiet yeah yeah okay i think this you know i think this this guy wants this type of video out about him because he kind of looks like you know like he's like a badass yeah he's like telling people like i'm the leader in this shit i don't fucking wear no mask and then at the end he's like okay that's a mascot we're just like usually that's true i was hoping you get kicked off all right that was insane one more men want women who are fit but yet in our community 80 percent of the women are overweight and 80 percent of that are obese no one holds women accountable for their weight

so who's holding women accountable kevin samuels okay i'm sorry but who is going to get liposuction who's no no no what the french toast liposuction is called push away from the table drink water eat vegetables and exercise like a no liposuction no man it's called exercise it is called exercise that is a nice way to end the tiktok segment how you got it telling women on women's history month fucking push away from the table eat more vegetables and drink water stop being so fat bitch yeah you dumb bitch only because it's so good we're gonna actually play that song again to close oh the grass kingdoms fart simpson song i got a dui baby we're gonna close okay all right thank you guys for listening

and watching go to store.yma studios.com check out some of the new merch and we will be back next week go see gene on the road yeah dogs and um yeah that's it here we go thanks for listening and watching i love you fart simpson and grass kingdoms i'm gonna be having girls the whole weekend they're gonna be squaring they're gonna be squaring they're gonna be squaring squaring squaring

squaring baby these scanty hoes are just huffing away huffing away huffing away come on fuck you in the ass fuck you fuck me in the ass

you know what baby you don't deserve this young bug you don't deserve this baby show me a good mom fucking time sorry you know what i'm saying talk talk talk my high bra is a leaf in my teeth oh hi baby

everybody everybody so beautiful day baby everybody let's go i gotta dui baby dui baby dui

dui baby dui baby dui baby dui come on adios baby