Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 595 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, we got a bunch of new merch right now. Go to store.ymhstudios.com and get that hot new gear. She's such a nice lady. I wish you would look at me like this when I farted. You'd never do. Look how she looks at him. Check back in with her in 15 years and we'll see how charming this is. Big black horse Big black fucking cock Big black horse

Starting point is 00:00:35 Wave as hard as if, baby Big black horse Big black fucking cock Big black horse Come fuck me, motherfucker Ride my ass like a horse Yeah, yeah If you wanna fuck me, I wanna fuck you

Starting point is 00:00:50 We're gonna fuck you up Ride my ass like a horse Yeah, we're gonna fuck the nasty Last fuck Oh, you like to hunt? You like to fuck on my face, man Fuck, fuck, cowboy, motherfucker Like that with my fucking whole boy

Starting point is 00:01:05 Motherfucker's hot, man Fuck, fuck, yeah Go team, go, man Use this fucking hole, man Hot, hot, yeah We're the fuck, let's fuck, baby Officer, come dump here, man Straight, take my fucking body, man

Starting point is 00:01:18 Fucking fuck it up, man Give me a cum, boy This man, ooh, this man, ooh This fucking goddamn dick, man Hello? Hey What's up? Yo, Josh

Starting point is 00:01:30 Who's this? Rob Pop Champagne You heard Pop Champagne? Yeah, calling you Mr. Noodle, Mr. Noodle, man Oh, yeah What the heck? We got tears of tits off, man Yeah, burning my tits

Starting point is 00:01:45 What about your tits? Smoking stroking, man We're gonna burn my tits, man I'm a real man, I can take it That's good, whatever brings you joy, you know? Shut the fuck up, man I come to fuck that fucking hole, man I want to piss on me, I want to piss

Starting point is 00:01:59 I'm gonna puke on me, you wanna shit You wanna shit in my chest And jerk me up with your shit What? Motherfucker, lickin' your nuts, lickin' your sacks You wanna milk my dick How big do you dick? I'm gonna cum

Starting point is 00:02:15 Yeah, go team go Goodbye I'll cum, I'll cum, I'll cum I'll cum, I'll cum, I'll cum, I'll cum, I'll cum Nice, I mean, that is how you start a show That's the classic, the RPC fans-only banger Wait, we just put that in the show? What?

Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah, we can't start with that Yeah, we can't open with that Oh, okay It's a little intense Well, you know that they put us in a mood though That's all I'm saying No, no, that's fine That's Fart Simpson and I think there wasn't a video edited by Clavicle

Starting point is 00:03:01 Am I right? Am I wrong? Correct Yeah Wow, that was Mr. Clavicles? You've seen this before I have seen it before but I didn't realize that Clavicles did the whole video He did the video and then the song was Fart Simpson I mean, these two guys are so talented and when they come together like that

Starting point is 00:03:17 It's amazing, speaking of amazing We might as well get it like right at the top Amazing What is amaze? YMH Live is back Oh, shit We're back Friday, April 2nd, 6 p.m. Pacific 9 Eastern

Starting point is 00:03:38 Go to livestream.ymhstudios.com to get your tickets Now we have a crazy show planned We have one of the YMH most celebrated guests Krista Stefano sitting on the couch with us That's right, old Chrissy We have original music By Marcus King How about that? Grammy nominated

Starting point is 00:03:57 Grammy nominated Playing original music for us Plus we have some really special guests on the show And a heavy segment that will hopefully send you into psychiatric care That's the goal So we're really excited to be back Friday, April 2nd, get your tickets now And yeah, it's gonna be a blast

Starting point is 00:04:21 Listen, we're planning some secret fun shit for you guys Let's just say we're already doing some of the prep And this might be the best YMH Live ever It's super exciting It's nuts It's really exciting Also, I'll let you know there's some new merch in the store If you go to store.ymhstudios.com

Starting point is 00:04:41 There's a new big titted animal shirt Oh great, I haven't even seen this one yet Yeah, there's a 20 milligram Charo shirt There's the breakfast of champions of Dunk Champions shirt And then there's the YMH Studios hoodie And there's also your mom's house trucker hat There are some Where My Mom's At hoodies that are Oh, and they're beautiful

Starting point is 00:05:01 They're so soft They got pink We have yellow I got a tote bag for the moms out there And the dads out there There's more new stuff coming that there's even I'm super excited about this But it's gonna be a whole rollout

Starting point is 00:05:12 So I worked with a Like a top tier designer For a special collection of stuff I was like, you know It's fun to do what we do with the shirts But I wanted to get some primo designs So I backed the truck up And worked with a really, really awesome designer

Starting point is 00:05:33 And there's some items coming that we've never had before You're like Beyonce when she does Ivy Park with Adidas I actually worked with Beyonce What? Yeah You're kidding Yeah That's amazing, Tom

Starting point is 00:05:46 I can't wait to see this stuff I called her I called her and What's she like? She's so chill, dude She had some great design ideas And then she also had some song ideas For the show

Starting point is 00:05:56 You're kidding Wow So yeah, it's all real exciting stuff You're really coming up in the world So yeah, we got that business out of the way Now what's really important It's St. Patrick's Day And if you have nothing else going on in your life

Starting point is 00:06:09 You're probably really excited about today Because I know a whole bunch of losers Just like you Who are like It's St. Patrick's Day I can drink all day Yeah, I hate St. Patrick's Day I don't understand

Starting point is 00:06:24 It's a drinking holiday Like, well, you can drink all days of the week If you want Why do we celebrate this? This is America Can you Google this? Can you pull it up like the origins? But why do people need one day

Starting point is 00:06:35 A holiday to drink? You can get drunk all the time You can always get drunk Yeah Say go to mine Hey, St. Patrick's Day What's going on? What is the history of St. Patrick's Day?

Starting point is 00:06:46 Maybe back up and go to that drop down one The people ask thing That one Oh, God, where's his song? The top one The top one The dove is Googling St. Patrick's Day

Starting point is 00:06:56 Feast Day March 17th Patron St. of Ireland Born Okay, in the fort He was kidnapped at the age of 16 Taken to Ireland to be a drunk And he ate potatoes

Starting point is 00:07:08 And now you guys can too All right I mean, is that Is there any more than that? Like, why do we do it? And I don't know why it's a big thing in this country Because we have all these fucking mix that came over And they want something to embrace

Starting point is 00:07:21 So they're like Hey, it's fucking drunk mick day You know, let's die Let's die the fucking lake green Yeah, let's eat green cake And then shit green And drink green beer And piss green

Starting point is 00:07:32 Jesus Christ Now, how come do you specs have a holiday, Tom? They spick it up real big In spick countries That's what they're really big on Festivals and holidays I want to go to Dia de los Muertos That's some shit

Starting point is 00:07:46 In Mexico Are the real crazy ones So the Spicks in the motherland I'm sorry, it's Latin X No, I don't even start that shit with me The Spicks in Spain Are most known for festivals and stuff There's one called las fallas

Starting point is 00:08:02 Which is like Burning Man Where they make these elaborate Like float parade kind of things And they take them through the city And then you go to the square And then they set them on fire And it's fucking rad I went to that

Starting point is 00:08:19 When? When? When? Can we go? 20 years ago in Spain? Can we go? I want to do that I want to see that It's fucking cool They know how to do it up The Spaniards That's fun

Starting point is 00:08:29 Now the St. Patty's Day There's also, by the way There's a festival like every other week Like everything's closed You're like, what's happening today? They have some crazy thing And like this is the day Where the saints shit in the city

Starting point is 00:08:41 I like that So we close everything down today And they just, it's always a festival Always drinks, dude But St. Patrick's Day It's just let's get drunk and barf This one, there's no floats But here's the thing

Starting point is 00:08:53 It's that nobody cares Nobody cares The other, those spic fun ones It's like they care about it But the mix, like no one gives a shit No one cares Well, especially you Oh, you're a dumb drunk Irish Mick

Starting point is 00:09:06 And here's your special day You know? You know what I mean? Yeah, dude Well, good news I think we could keep that music video in now You see, this is why we need YMH Live, you guys It's just because we just want to talk

Starting point is 00:09:25 The way we want to talk We don't want to be I should be clear, I love Ireland And by the way, is there a more unbalanced Like gender nation As far as like appeal Than the Irish Because I feel like Irish girls

Starting point is 00:09:43 Are so cute In the accent and everything And then Irish guys are like Dogs Jesus Christ Dogs I agree, there's a few countries like that Yeah, where like the split is dramatic

Starting point is 00:09:54 Chicks are hot and the dogs are The men are dogs Woof What are some other countries? Should we do this? I'm probably, I don't know, the Greeks? Yeah, that's rough I mean, Potter's Greek

Starting point is 00:10:07 And then Yeah, the women are prettier Dude, I would argue even my tribe in Hungary The women are really gorgeous And the guys are not as gorgeous As the Hungo women Of course No, I know

Starting point is 00:10:20 It's just like load making fucking batter Like there's a reason Porno is filmed in Budapest Because we're the best looking These are Hungo, these are good looking guys But those are like the creme de la creme This is the top notch guys Even that guy right there He's just like a fucking DUI mugshot

Starting point is 00:10:37 It's supposed to be his modeling picture Yeah And that's for sure Yeah, he's not Oh, he did, that is a mugshot Nevermind And he ran an international sex slave business This guy's a real piece of shit, yeah

Starting point is 00:10:52 He's like 12 years old It's a good accomplishment for a guy his age Yeah Oh, yeah, oh, yeah Alright Well, yeah, who gives a shit about St. Patrick's Day The Italians Fuck

Starting point is 00:11:05 The women are beautiful Yeah The guys are kinda The guys are probably good looking guys, right? They dress great They do dress really well When you're in Italy Oh my god

Starting point is 00:11:14 Italy You're in Italy I was walking in Milan And that's like the fashion capital of Italy Of Europe basically Yeah And every dude is walking around Like a guy who is a fucking cashier

Starting point is 00:11:27 Is walking around in a suit that makes you stop And just go like, what the fuck, man They are fashionable Well, Europeans, we've talked about this before That they don't just walk around in dumpy jeans And a shirt Or like aviator nations sweatpants They dress up

Starting point is 00:11:41 I like that I like that they do that Same I remember even being, you know, it's 20 years ago But I remember Member? I remember Yeah, you're so good, Billy

Starting point is 00:11:51 Oh, no I remember I remember when I was in Spain I remember the lady that I lived with, this old lady And her son was at the time 40 Right, and her grandson was like seven The three of them would be like Why do you dress like pigs?

Starting point is 00:12:08 Yeah I was like, what? Oh, yeah Because he would go, the son goes It's just like t-shirts Yeah And I was like, yeah, yeah, it's super Well, they think we dress poor

Starting point is 00:12:18 He's also like, isn't this like what you sleep in? That's what they think Like, don't you sleep in those? Yeah Sometimes, yeah And then I'll roll right in the class Wearing this weapon Yeah

Starting point is 00:12:28 But they were like, that's gross Yeah My relatives in Hungary, when we'd visit them Yeah They would have such contempt for how I dress Like, oh, you're just wearing blue jeans and this shirt They say, you know what they always say? You guys have so much money in America

Starting point is 00:12:41 You dress like you're fucking poor Yeah, that's kind of You're dressing poor But, you know, the truth is that that is kind of true Because It's totally true Yeah The biggest flex is like a billionaire, right?

Starting point is 00:12:54 Yeah And how do you like the uber-wealthy dress? Like home clothes Like, yeah, like normal Yeah Flip flops Yeah And you're like, what the fuck are you wearing?

Starting point is 00:13:03 He's like a billionaire Isn't that what, what's his name? The big one, Warren Buffett He's like so proud that he He's super frugal, though That he drives like a piece of shit-car stuff Yeah, he's an extreme, though He's not even, I wouldn't even put him in the

Starting point is 00:13:13 Like, he is a billionaire But he's, you know, he's like a nice old cracker From Omaha And so I like Omaha Yeah, he lives in the same house for like 60 years Yeah, he was really proud That he bought a Cadillac, a used Cadillac 20

Starting point is 00:13:30 He's like, it still runs And you're like, you have a hundred billion dollars But you have a little fun That's what it is You think you could have a little fun, man You're not gonna die with all your money No Enjoy it

Starting point is 00:13:40 Yeah Why make it if you're not gonna, you know, buy Fifty thousand dollar chains like you do And private jets and stuff, right, Tom? Somebody likes to have fun Do you like to have fun or not? Our kids don't need to go to college Why, when you can have chains?

Starting point is 00:13:52 I'm not gonna not go to college, all right All right, you dumb drunk mix Here we go, opening clip Hey, Christina How you doing, baby girl? Oh, you're beautiful Yeah, but don't put your boot in my face Uh-uh-uh

Starting point is 00:14:09 You're gonna make me foul Are you lying? Yeah Yeah This shit is big time Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this Don't burn me in the fucking stand

Starting point is 00:14:24 Welcome Welcome to your mom's house With Tom Segura Tom Setsu And Christina Pajitsin Christina Pajitsin Welcome to your mom's house Come on

Starting point is 00:15:08 Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Unkshine just gave you a shout out Is that his name? Yeah I didn't even know he had a name Put my tongue in your ass Yeah

Starting point is 00:15:19 How cool is that? Cool It is Ooh, that's some kush kush It is an honor when you admire somebody's work And then they admire you back Yes, this is a huge deal Oh, y'all looking so good

Starting point is 00:15:36 Yeah, y'all making me nervous Uh-huh I'm telling you, girl Girl, you booty like a watermelon Uh-huh Listen, they don't have no Even that watermelon But that woman, that blind-headed woman

Starting point is 00:15:51 Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know their name But ooh, baby You booty look like some conflict, girl Yeah, baby You got some milk, girl Give me some milk Yeah, you got some milk, baby

Starting point is 00:16:10 Look, got some good milk, girl Some canned milk Uh-huh Ooh, what up? Hey, Christina How you doing, baby girl? Yeah Oh, you beautiful

Starting point is 00:16:23 Yeah, but don't put your booty in my face Don't do it Uh-huh Yeah You gonna make me nervous Uh-huh Yeah You gonna make me foul

Starting point is 00:16:35 Nice I want your feet, too Wow I'm sad that he wore the mask I wanted to see his face I know, I know Being safe out there I can't blame anyone for being safe

Starting point is 00:16:46 You know, what an honor An honor He said your booty He wants some breast milk And he thinks you're just all... He acknowledged my existence But he was like, I don't want anything to do with that Nothing

Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah, I respect it Can I tell you what I think the move is? I want to go visit him And I know he won't be happy But I'll bring some straight-up hoes with me Like real hoes You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:17:09 And then I'll be like, hey, uncle, look what I got And then, and like girls who are ready to put their titties in his face And see what he really does in the real deal Yeah, but bring him some like straight... I'm talking like hoes Broken Sure

Starting point is 00:17:24 That'd be cool Yeah I mean, how great of a video would that be? That'd be really cool Like he sees me and he's like, aww And then I'm like, I got something for you What'd you get? And then I open the door

Starting point is 00:17:35 Yeah And like two like high-heeled hookers kind of walk up That'd be great, Tom You'd really make his day And he's like, and then I'm like, guess what I brought? Yeah, we're going to make a banana split And I bring out the corn chips

Starting point is 00:17:48 and the pecans and the ice cream What if he did bring all the... Yeah, we did We pour it in their booty I'm like, go ahead and eat a sundae He's like, ah, yeah, yeah And he just starts eating I think you should do this

Starting point is 00:17:59 I think now that we obviously have made contact Yeah This is within the realm of possibility Well, this is the dream This is the dream But first look, man, just say... This might be my first, like, pandemic's over trip Like, I don't want to see it

Starting point is 00:18:10 I think you should Yeah I think this is a great idea I think we need to facilitate this Are you the type of hoe that is interested in this gig? Shout out to us Give us a send-off a message

Starting point is 00:18:23 And first of all, may I say that I feel honored This is like being... This is a big deal Who painted the Mona Lisa? Picasso, is this? No Picasso What's his name?

Starting point is 00:18:34 Da Vinci Da Vinci This is like... This is Da Vinci asking the Mona Lisa to sit and he paints her Do you understand? The fact that I am his inspiration You are

Starting point is 00:18:46 I am the muse for the I.I.I. guy You are Give me some milk Yeah This is bigger than meeting Brad Pitt It's a big deal It's Unkshine Hey, Christina

Starting point is 00:18:59 You didn't even say my name right, though You put an A on it Oh, I say it right, sir Please do not use gendered language Point of personal privilege, Tom Wow, this was really something special It really is It really is, yeah

Starting point is 00:19:19 I'm so honored Thank you, Unkshine Yeah The blonde-headed woman That's you The blonde-headed woman You're the blonde-headed woman And he knows that I got big tits, too

Starting point is 00:19:28 Your booty looks like some cornflakes, guy I'm sorry, I didn't understand that Your booty looks like some cornflakes Cornflakes He wants to eat it Say it again, a cornflake You got some milk, guys I got milk, guys

Starting point is 00:19:40 But he's not into the milk, duds as much as he is into the booty He's always talking about Your booty looks like some cornflakes, guy Cornflakes, duds Yeah What? Some cornflakes?

Starting point is 00:19:52 He's, you know He's just Unkshine You just got to give him a break Well, I, yeah I'm surprised that he even saw my booty He saw my milk, duds And we actually, um, we got a Is it here?

Starting point is 00:20:04 The message about it? Oh, yeah, here We got this Ah, yeah, yeah, a guy It says, uh, hey Uh, Tad and Kristen I don't know if you've discussed this before But the limit, each a guy

Starting point is 00:20:16 Is most definitely from the South Louisiana area The accent is definitely Cajun I grew up listening to my grandfather say Ai-yi-yi all the time Um, fortunately for mental wellness His Ai-yi-yi has never followed any conversations About eating buttholes sprinkled With corn chip crumble

Starting point is 00:20:34 Thanks for ruining a wonderful memory Of a wonderful man But Ai-yi-yi's to you Tam and Crystal from behind the wall And you can bet your sweet banana-splitted ass I'm coming up in May, don't you? Now, Tom Do you not feel protective of me at all?

Starting point is 00:20:50 Like, are you worried that the Ai-yi-yi guy Might win my heart? I mean, you've always said things like What if he really can't eat your ass better than me? What if he's really good at it? Would you go with him? I mean, I think there's, you know In life you have to, everybody has to

Starting point is 00:21:05 Recognize greatness, you know You have to acknowledge when Someone's better than you at something And I've gotten to the age where I'm comfortable with I have a skill set That's just what I've been given And what I've worked on And if he can surpass me

Starting point is 00:21:20 I mean, what am I supposed to do? I just gotta hand him the crown You're just willing to Let me put my tongue in your eyes You're willing to give me up To the Ai-yi-yi guy? I wanna lick them grows Yeah

Starting point is 00:21:31 If he's better Then you'll just have to make a decision My god Yeah That noo-noo You're gonna have to meet him I'm definitely gonna take it And I'm taking, I'm talking like

Starting point is 00:21:44 Yeah No, I got it, I heard you the first time Real hoes Were you gonna find these Maybe like three hoes You know what I mean Like really overwhelm them with hoes You gonna find like street walkers?

Starting point is 00:21:54 No, not street walkers No, no For hire, you know Like we're going to an agency Or something like Yeah, but I mean Tested, you know what I mean Like they're ready to work

Starting point is 00:22:03 I'm curious to see what he would really do In the presence of women You know what I'd want to do? I've talked to him for a bit Like do like an interview And then be like I got something to show you And when we walk into the room

Starting point is 00:22:13 The hoes are like on tables And all the banana split ingredients Are around And I'm like Go crazy Go enjoy yourself You're in a toy store now Yeah

Starting point is 00:22:24 And then I wonder if the hoes would be like Yeah, of course I get it And then they meet him and they're like Ah I don't know about this man Is there a particular woman besides me That he fixates on

Starting point is 00:22:38 Like if we could make his dreams come true He's always just talking about women In women's plural Yeah Well it is International Women's History Month So this is a great video to receive Yeah It's a great time

Starting point is 00:22:51 It's a great time There's so much So We're so excited I'm just so honored You know there's a Big highlights in why I made history Meeting Robert Paul Champagne

Starting point is 00:23:01 That was huge Crazy locs I really liked him That was great But if we could do something with Ankh I mean I mean Yes

Starting point is 00:23:10 This is pretty great Yeah I'm honored Thank you, Uncle Shine It's very I just didn't know that I could still That I was still seen like that Yeah

Starting point is 00:23:21 You know what I mean I'm You know Middle-aged mom I wonder if I could bring one of those girls And just tell him Oh no this is Christina You know what I mean

Starting point is 00:23:30 Like he's so checked out Yeah She's just blonde She's bringing a blonde like enormous today When we're like Here's Christina I think that's the movie Okay

Starting point is 00:23:39 Yeah She just does his thing You know He just goes crazy He's like It's cool with you It's cool Go ahead

Starting point is 00:23:47 Go make a banana split I'd love to do that He would not know So you remember Holy shit The armless mukbang From last week Yeah she was pretty amazing

Starting point is 00:23:57 Yeah I really do not like getting my feet messy But I know y'all love these seafood And this woman's kind of I mean this is remarkable right It's Quite a talent Like these mukbangs are A

Starting point is 00:24:07 Mukbang Mukbang is like a very popular It is Lane I've seen it on TikTok Where people just house food And I guess people Just love watching that

Starting point is 00:24:15 I do But this lady has the Added component Of not having hands Arms She does it all with her feet It's pretty remarkable And then

Starting point is 00:24:24 Um The boys sent me This When I was lonely Left to touch the pedals I started driving And more so My dad

Starting point is 00:24:32 Told me how to drive Cause my mom She just She was just like Nervous I get her When I was in school I went to go take my test

Starting point is 00:24:40 And I was so nervous But I made a 98 on my test Only Missed with two points So I really know how to drive I do have my driver's license Which I will post On this YouTube video

Starting point is 00:24:52 Also y'all I do travel Or drive to school Which is like an hour away And You know when I go out to town sometimes When I get tired With my leg

Starting point is 00:25:02 And like tired of being fit I just drive with my knees sometimes Like You know When I'm driving I feel comfortable With a lot of cars That is so cool

Starting point is 00:25:14 Pretty amazing Pretty amazing That is amazing Wow I never Isn't how adaptable The human being is It's just

Starting point is 00:25:22 It's true It's amazing I mean you're seeing her If you're listening You know she's got You don't really It takes a second for you to process But like

Starting point is 00:25:30 So her right foot Is on the Pressing the gas And the brake And then her left foot Is holding the wheel The way you would With your left hand

Starting point is 00:25:38 And she does With her toes again And she hits the clicker Like change lanes And then turns it back off Goes back to driving with it It's amazing Pretty amazing

Starting point is 00:25:47 That is I don't even know her name Do we know her name? Doesn't say here We'll get it for you Yeah we should find out But anyways That's just really impressive

Starting point is 00:25:57 Wild Wonderful Good for her Good for her And she looks like She's leading a fairly Normal life She's doing mukbangs

Starting point is 00:26:05 She's going to school She's doing stuff She's a productive person This is fucking great Yeah Good for her Um Yeah

Starting point is 00:26:14 Kind of switch up the page That was a little too uplifting You're so excited There must be a lot of goodies In here I can tell And Tom is like I just like when there's There's like fun things to show

Starting point is 00:26:24 I know I can tell Hey yo You dumb bitch You got me right here Drinking another one Cause you so stupid Asking me If I want a sugar mama

Starting point is 00:26:33 Bitch I work for my money bitch I work for my everything I have Yeah No Everything's cool here I love it The message

Starting point is 00:26:45 The gear Standing up for what you have I love it man I like his shades And obviously Clearly he is bawling He's got a super nice studio apartment That he's in

Starting point is 00:26:56 Yeah He's doing his thing Stuff like that Cottage cheese ceiling Yeah He's doing it He's doing great Really really

Starting point is 00:27:05 You stupid fucking bitch You want to see Oh the mukbang girl Her name is cashmere Cashmere Okay Alright cool Wow look at him

Starting point is 00:27:15 This reminded me of something That you would like This is a super cut A super cut of a lady Whose man farts Oh In front of her Kind of everywhere

Starting point is 00:27:26 Cool I just thought you would enjoy it Of course Oh That's all he does He's just gonna get out of here Poor lady Oh no

Starting point is 00:27:48 Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Come on She's such a nice lady Oh, it's in French

Starting point is 00:28:24 Yeah Aww I like this This to me is what love is about This is a This is a loving relationship Yeah this is marriage This is like sweetness

Starting point is 00:28:37 This is my life too With you Yeah But you know what I love more than anything Salami What's that? Is when we go home to your parent's house And you fart

Starting point is 00:28:45 And your mom gives you the big Aye Tommy Yeah yeah It's so fun Do it Here I'll be you Yeah And then you be ready

Starting point is 00:28:54 Ah Ah But why do you have to be rude? Ah All day You scratch your hair And then you have to chastise me For laughing

Starting point is 00:29:06 No Cristina Don't tell him this funny He keeps doing it How do you let him do this? How do you let him? Absolutely disgusting Absolutely disgusting But she adores him

Starting point is 00:29:17 She does Yeah She's never like Sometimes you're around couples Someone does this And there's like the disdain Yeah She smiles at him every time he farts

Starting point is 00:29:28 He farts And might I add Tom His farts were nothing They are like little I bet this guy weighs like 145 Yeah Bullshit Compared to your beavers

Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah That you let go on the regs This guy doesn't even have a fart But I wish you would look at me like this When I farted No You'd never do Look how she looks at him

Starting point is 00:29:48 Check back in with her in 15 years And we'll see how charming this is They have a kid They have the kid on the couch Still But she's young They haven't been together for 15 years Like us

Starting point is 00:29:58 17 years I don't know I don't know I would like I would propose that you return the look I'll keep farting But you return the look She does

Starting point is 00:30:11 Cause she is like this She adores it She's like No Yeah That's not how I do it This last one He just ripped ass

Starting point is 00:30:19 And she was like Oh my love Yeah my love Please Please Tom My name is Fart Would you do something for me

Starting point is 00:30:32 Sure If I start smiling at your farts Listen to me Okay Would you do this for me What What if Moving forward

Starting point is 00:30:41 I made a demand That every time I go brown I need you there I need you to No Just listen to me No Pass

Starting point is 00:30:51 Hard pass A million years I don't want to be there When you brown Just listen to me I need your support I want you to hold my hand And make eye contact

Starting point is 00:30:59 And really Be there for me When I do browns Okay What if I told you I needed this to go forward I would tell you Figure out something else out

Starting point is 00:31:08 Are you being serious You wouldn't do this for me I would not do it for you Why Because I would Why It's a deal breaker Well then I'm not going to

Starting point is 00:31:16 Find your farts charming Like this broad You already don't Why won't you hold my hand And look at me I'm just not going to But I need Deal breaker

Starting point is 00:31:27 I want to be seen I want to be validated When I make brown I want support You're tearing up the contract Seriously Yes Seriously

Starting point is 00:31:36 No but I need this This isn't just a joke Like I need you to look at me And make eye contact You can't do that for me Babe I took care of you When you had one arm

Starting point is 00:31:45 And one leg Negative I've had two of your sons Negativo I loved you when you were just A broke ass comic You can't Mommies

Starting point is 00:31:58 Don't you think that's not too Much to ask That Tim Make eye contact And hold my hand when I brown I want to lick them draws Not doing it Maybe this guy would

Starting point is 00:32:09 I love being a fat little piggy Yes I do I love being a fat little piggy I hate this This guy will hold your hand While you shit Yes I do He's too selfish

Starting point is 00:32:19 He's wearing a backwards sports bra He looks cool You're really happy to find this one Yeah You have a deal breaker You said you wanted to That's the deal breaker That's the deal breaker

Starting point is 00:32:32 For you Is it for you So Chase O'Donnell My feature Who's lovely You should check her out We're doing deal breakers And she was like

Starting point is 00:32:41 What if you asked Tom To watch you make a brown And make eye contact And hold your hand Would he do it There you are Dr. Drew hates that Ugh

Starting point is 00:33:02 Hold your hand right there What if that's fake I'm pretending that's chocolate pudding That's not chocolate pudding She doesn't have She doesn't have the latex on Or anything Yeah this is the first time

Starting point is 00:33:12 We've seen someone Going without any protective gear That's not I'm gonna fucking puke Which clip's been your favorite So far that you've shown me The piggy guy The manure lady

Starting point is 00:33:26 The ayayay guy Saying my name Which is cool You really got some bangers In there today Yeah it's pretty great It's pretty great I would say

Starting point is 00:33:34 Unkshine Given the shoutouts The best so far You really wouldn't sit And hold my hand No I can't understand why You don't care

Starting point is 00:33:42 You don't care about shitting I'm not gonna hold your hand When you shit And make eye contact I want eye contact Get the fuck out of here with this This is a big hard pass Seriously?

Starting point is 00:33:51 Yeah I can't believe After all I've done for you I cut bangs Getting nose ring You're almost You're almost a quarter Of the way there

Starting point is 00:33:59 A quarter of the way there Yeah From the mods we're doing What are the mods? I feel like it should Probably be happening off camera first What do you mean? Some of the things I've

Starting point is 00:34:11 Signed you up for Are Intense What? And I don't think I should Tell you On Mike

Starting point is 00:34:19 I think it's too late Now you already opened The can of worms I have consultations Set up for us For what? To modify some things What things?

Starting point is 00:34:27 Things that I love about you But I want to love more Oh my god babe What is happening with you? Is this some kind of Midlife crisis now? I don't know Maybe

Starting point is 00:34:37 So you're saying that In order to stay married to you I have to do these things? No Or what's the deal? No, just to make me happy That's all Well that means to stay with you

Starting point is 00:34:46 I have to do these things Okay, great Well we have a consultation Next week And we'll go And we'll talk to the doctor And just see how long You know, recovery will be

Starting point is 00:34:55 Babe, I can't do Like surgeries and stuff Doctor Yeah Seriously Well it's a team It's doctors What?

Starting point is 00:35:04 What are you going to change on me? I think I'm pretty I'm okay You're great You are great What I'm saying is That's the next level You know

Starting point is 00:35:12 Okay So What are we talking about? Well we can Like chicken plants I didn't even think of that Write that down I think

Starting point is 00:35:21 You know, there's some TIT stuff What we've talked about There's some You know Piercing stuff That I'd like to Expand on

Starting point is 00:35:32 What do you mean? But I think Some TATs that I'd like to see Whoa, hold on dude What kind of TATs? Just hot ones That's forever sweetie That's different than

Starting point is 00:35:42 Just a piercing Great That means I'll be Rock hard into my 70s We have kids babe I can't come like all Where do you want me To get the TATs?

Starting point is 00:35:52 As long as I can cover them Maybe I'll You know, it's pretty elaborate So I feel like We should Come ease into it I don't want to freak you out You know

Starting point is 00:36:00 But I think You're going to be real happy When you're done Okay We'll talk about it more We'll talk about it more later So people Have been sending in

Starting point is 00:36:11 Their big tit submissions I do love these These are my favorite This has really become A popular segment Everyone I've spoken to Lugs this one The big tit and animals

Starting point is 00:36:21 Keep sending them in Here's some of the best ones From this week If you want to send Your big tit and animal submission In It's your mom's podcast At gmail.com

Starting point is 00:36:32 There's no house in the email Your mom's podcast At gmail.com But big tit and animal In the subject line And we love them When they're genuine You know

Starting point is 00:36:42 We don't want to To do the Manufactured ones We like the real ones Right So this is Diami So what's for dinner tonight

Starting point is 00:36:51 Your big tit and animal Big tit and animal? Yeah What does it even mean? You're just my big tit and animal You're just my big tit and animal Your big tit and animal? Oh

Starting point is 00:37:06 She's got the nose for you You're You're my big tit and animal Right? Oh Can I come at you? I don't get it Are you?

Starting point is 00:37:19 That was great That was where she got A little baby with her I know And he's got a Gonna get his mucus Suctioned out There was curiosity

Starting point is 00:37:27 She was like Huh? She was distracted And then she was like Okay And then she goes Are you recording If you're in here

Starting point is 00:37:35 And he cuts it off That was good This next one Is from Tom What's this in the bathroom? Your big tit and animal? This is getting really old This is like that time

Starting point is 00:37:52 Fantastic The reaction was perfect This is getting really old Fuck you And this is getting old She's great That was fantastic Yeah, good girl

Starting point is 00:38:05 This is Let's see Enrique and Mackenzie So do you want to eat Your big tit and animal? You're so stupid That's good That's good

Starting point is 00:38:19 That's how you react to that That's a good relationship Right there You're so stupid This is Alan and Emily Cooking my pizza Your big tit and animal Nothing

Starting point is 00:38:36 Nothing That's another lane of reaction I'm ignoring you Yeah Wise woman I'm not going to acknowledge that Here's William and Lindsay When's dinner going to be ready

Starting point is 00:38:52 Your big tit and animal? Your big tit and animal? Oh, fuck you up, dude Yeah There's nothing like asking the question With when's dinner ready Yeah That's more antagonistic

Starting point is 00:39:13 Totally And she did a slow ride She was like, the fuck did you just say? I'm going to fuck you up So the range is from Fuck you I'm going to fuck you up To silence

Starting point is 00:39:23 To laughing To laughter These are all genuine though Your big tit and animal? Would you fucking say to me? Your big tit and animal I love it That was great

Starting point is 00:39:42 Really good work, you guys Really great Good job, guys Good job Good work Solid Oh, man So you've been getting into Latin music

Starting point is 00:39:53 Yeah A lot lately I mean, the last week and a half It's just been like Out of control Oh my god And then you've been playing the songs Where the guy suffers first

Starting point is 00:40:07 And then the woman chimes in With her suffering And they're singing about Tapatio Or some shit Tapatio Excuse me Excuse me

Starting point is 00:40:24 Excuse me The songs are about love Yeah, and taqueros No, taqueros It's yearning for love I miss you I love you I want to be with you

Starting point is 00:40:38 I love you so much Your love is killing me I wish I had love Yeah Love has broken me Where's my love gone It's all about love And see, and yet in real life

Starting point is 00:40:47 Not this romantic and sweet to me So Who are you in love with That you're like That you're so misty-eyed And yeah Are you in love with someone else? Like, what's happening?

Starting point is 00:41:00 I'm in love with the music You're really feeling your Latinx roots lately La música It's because I'm so gearin' up For my Spanish shows again So I've been practicing Spanish more I've been doing Spanish podcasts

Starting point is 00:41:17 Sometimes, like, four or five a week That's awesome So it's in my system, you know? Like, I'm trying to Just trying to work on it And then it reminds me that Oh, I love some of it Because some of the music

Starting point is 00:41:30 A lot of it is like throwback It's just nostalgia Like, when you go like Oh, remember this album When I was growing up, you know? Some of that And then I've been introduced To newer stuff from people, too

Starting point is 00:41:40 Is this stuff your mother listened to? No, no She likes She came over Who did she like? Oh, my God, I don't know When she and I listened to some stuff She liked shit from, like, the 30s

Starting point is 00:41:49 I'm talkin' about Things that I grew up with, you know? And she's like Yeah, Cristina, listen to this part Oh, it was a Yes And he thinks that She doesn't know that this is the guy

Starting point is 00:42:00 That she's in love with And then they are in love with each other And then, like, she just loves All this stuff Yeah, it's cute It's cute Yeah Eres tu

Starting point is 00:42:12 Como el agua de mi fuente Is that right? I don't know I don't like anything that happened Right then You don't like my Spanish singing? Uh-uh Sing for us

Starting point is 00:42:26 Then tell me how it's done No, I really can't But I, um... Julio Iglesias I will be I will be singing soon At my live shows Because I'm learning piano

Starting point is 00:42:36 And that's another thing You're such a renaissance man Now you're taking piano lessons I did So what happened was Our oldest takes piano lessons And half the time He's, like, hanging upside down

Starting point is 00:42:49 Off a chair And I'm like, hey, man So I see his piano teacher And I'm thinking I don't know why it just doesn't It occurs to me Like, I'm thinking She teaches children, you know

Starting point is 00:43:00 And so one day I'm walking by I think I just listened to something And I was like, I wish I could take a piano lesson And she was like, I can give you a piano lesson And I go, okay So then I follow up And she goes, yeah And I'm thinking

Starting point is 00:43:12 Well, she's probably going to go, you know This is C and D and... Yeah, boring Well, just, you know, I realize You have to have the foundation of that For an instrument I'm going to go, okay I'm ready for it

Starting point is 00:43:22 And she goes, well, what, like What kind of songs Would you want to know how to play? So I send her a few And she's like, great And then she shows up And she's like, you want to learn How to play those songs?

Starting point is 00:43:32 That's cool Like right away And I was like, oh, this is so much fun Because you go through a lesson And then by the end of it You're sort of playing that song Oh, wow It's very addictive

Starting point is 00:43:43 I want to do that It's very addictive So anyways, I took a lesson Then I practiced the next day And I have a lesson tomorrow What? This is really exciting for you It's fun

Starting point is 00:43:54 And then I can use my shithand Yeah That is, like, gradually getting better But I use it on the notes that I can So I'm actually... And that's what they tell you to do When I saw the nerve specialist He goes, the best thing

Starting point is 00:44:08 Is use the hand as much as you can That's great Because that wakes things up So I'm able to, you know, practice with it That's exciting I couldn't do a lot Then she was like, and hit that C major With your left hand

Starting point is 00:44:20 And I was like, I couldn't really do it But it's still an exercise, you know That's really good I'm really impressed Thank you You're going to be just like Liberace I would have probably said someone else Billy Joel's

Starting point is 00:44:33 Okay Are you going to play Billy Joel's song soon? I don't think so But only because I'm not interested I like Billy Joel's song I like St. Patrick's Day I don't care what you say And then, oh, I miss it

Starting point is 00:44:45 You don't like that song? I do like that song in my life He's cool, of course He's a super talent But it's not my go-to Like, I got to learn this song You're not into that What do you're learning?

Starting point is 00:44:55 Like, tell us what you're into My first song that I practiced was M.C.A. Straight Up Menace Okay Is that a classical piano song? Yep You know what the funny thing is? I sent her the instrumental

Starting point is 00:45:06 This is a cool song And she's not American So I go, oh, do you want to hear The actual song with the lyrics? And she's like, oh, sure And I put it on for her And he's like, wake your punk ass up For the 93 shot

Starting point is 00:45:22 And then it gets, it's like It's a super dramatic, like, you know Violent song And she was like, oh You could tell She goes, yeah, I'm classically trained Like Beethoven Mozart

Starting point is 00:45:35 I was like, this is a little different But then I played for her The theme song to 0000 That prime show that I was Talking about nonstop for a minute Because it's so good And it has a very distinct piano theme Right?

Starting point is 00:45:52 It's simple, it's very simple So anyways, of course It's amazing I mean, I know there's musicians That listen to this show But it's just amazing to me Because I'm not musically inclined That I go, here's this theme song

Starting point is 00:46:04 And she's like, okay, here's the notes Like, just from her ear And she just bidee-dee-dee-dee-dee-do-da-do-da She just showed me how to play it And I was like, okay And then she recorded herself playing it At home and sent me the file So you can practice

Starting point is 00:46:16 So you listen to her And then you try to mimic what she said? Well, what she sent me We're gonna be able to play tomorrow Because she recorded herself Playing the full composition Oh, that's so cool I did like the basic stuff

Starting point is 00:46:29 And she did the full thing And I was like, oh, shit I think she could teach me the pixies I'm sure she could teach you anything That'd be cool She's brilliant Speaking of brilliant musicians Marcus King came with his lady

Starting point is 00:46:40 Hailey And To your show in Nashville To my show in Nashville We got to hang out And Brian Simpson It was amazing And Brian killed it

Starting point is 00:46:49 And he's so funny But, I mean, Marcus He's the coolest guy You hang out with him And he's just this little baby-faced I know 25-year-old And then I was listening to his album

Starting point is 00:46:59 El Dorado On the plane ride home And I was like He's this guy He rips I mean I know That's what happened when I

Starting point is 00:47:07 I did Conan with That's how I met him On Conan And I think I forget if it was Conan Or Andy Richter I think I've said this before They were like, you know this guy?

Starting point is 00:47:16 Like, before he came on I was like, uh-uh And they were like Wait till you see this Oh, my And then he came on And I was like, fuck The voice of an angel

Starting point is 00:47:24 It's crazy He sings like it's Another world That's when you see That's when you see Like, when you realize Oh, this is a gift Yeah

Starting point is 00:47:32 And his lyrics You listen to his point of view And you're like This kid is 25 Makes no sense And he's writing stuff Like he's 45 He has all this

Starting point is 00:47:41 Experience in him Yeah And he's been on the show You guys know he's a mommy Yeah And he's coming on the live show And he's coming on the live show Play music, yeah

Starting point is 00:47:49 It is a gift I think at certain points You realize, oh It's like it's Separate from you You know, it's like bigger than you I remember I was watching It's like

Starting point is 00:47:57 It sounds unrelated But when I watched The Last Dance The Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls I thought you were talking about That movie with Julia Stiles Oh

Starting point is 00:48:05 No The Last Dance But the Chicago Bulls thing There's one point where he says It was like Are you gonna play another year? Right? It was like 97

Starting point is 00:48:16 And going into the 98 Something like that Maybe 99 And they go And he He made reference I'm paraphrasing But something like

Starting point is 00:48:25 You can't keep It's not fair to keep this gift Yeah From the world In other words I'm so gifted At basketball That for me to not play

Starting point is 00:48:37 Is like taking it away From other people Yes You know And I was like Yeah, that's kind of I never thought of it like that But he

Starting point is 00:48:45 And even I think Phil Jackson Were like You can't not play Like You're at the peak of your career And it is It is a show for all of us To see you play basketball

Starting point is 00:48:57 It's a blessing Like if you're born with that kind of talent Yeah It's a It's a crime to not share it with the world I mean People say it about this podcast You know

Starting point is 00:49:10 I've heard it many times Speaking of I've done press and they're like Oh gosh Your show And also It's a gift to humanity It's a gift to humanity

Starting point is 00:49:18 What we do And also I got into this I'm a little late on this But aren't we always late To great TV shows I got into Cobra Kai Yeah, you did

Starting point is 00:49:27 And man I am team Cobra Kai all the way Really? That's the dojo I would join If I had to choose between the two I don't know what my reluctance is It's okay The first episode

Starting point is 00:49:37 You're like I don't know But then it gets Really? You know what I like Is that Johnny The sensei for Cobra Kai Is kind of how we are

Starting point is 00:49:46 Like where he's not Like You know like Woke And so he makes fun Of a lot of the woke culture And I like that too Okay

Starting point is 00:49:54 It's really funny Yeah Like making fun of like Wimpy You know fucking Gen Y kids It's just It's so great

Starting point is 00:50:02 Okay I'm really into it It's you know It's a children's show But I like it I watch it It's not a children's show Kids watch it

Starting point is 00:50:10 Cobra Kai Is a kid's show Well I'm glad you like it It's pretty wholesome too It's always fun to get Really into a show For a minute I know

Starting point is 00:50:18 Yeah Makes me want to do karate Not really Well how about I'll do piano You do karate Oh cool okay Playing what I learned

Starting point is 00:50:26 And you can do A karate demonstration I mean who wouldn't buy A ticket to that I know There's been a lot of Instagram And I just go back and forth

Starting point is 00:50:34 Between the two things I learned Straight up menace And zero zero zero And I'd go Ah Ah Dun dun dun

Starting point is 00:50:42 Dun dun dun I chop blocks behind you Yeah A lot of people want To see your live show Of you Last comic jizzing There's a lot of memes

Starting point is 00:50:52 On Instagram People are really excited About this news to me Yeah I mean I've got an agent Why don't you fucking He listens to this show Andrew

Starting point is 00:51:00 You know what to do Come on Andrew Ah Last comic jizzing Last comic jizzing But first I just wanted to point this out I saw this article in the LA Times

Starting point is 00:51:09 Yeah And you know Gosh I didn't know if you've heard Yet Tom Oh my God But hiking Has a diversity problem

Starting point is 00:51:17 What This BIPOC These BIPOC groups Are working to fix it Let me just read you This is in the LA Times This is a real article This just came out

Starting point is 00:51:26 A real article This is a real article Here it goes Long time oppression And historical barriers Have kept many people of color From feeling comfortable In the American outdoors

Starting point is 00:51:36 Now That may be changing Groups in Southern California And around the nation Have made it their goal To introduce people of color To nature in a positive way Their mission is to remove barriers

Starting point is 00:51:47 And help people experience The connection Whether they are seeking fitness Healing Personal accomplishment Or knowledge So here we go There's a

Starting point is 00:51:56 You know There's Latino outdoors You may want to Enjoy them It's fucking morning Yeah That's the Latino hiking group Starts with that

Starting point is 00:52:06 And blacks Fuck with my ass man You guys can join too Is this for real Is there a women's hiking group I feel excluded So they're saying that Social conditions have kept

Starting point is 00:52:20 Minorities from going outside Hiking Hiking as a diversity problem Okay Is this shit ever going to stop Well I You know what I think

Starting point is 00:52:31 Wilk has officially jumped a shark Hey Are you black Or Latino You can go hiking Whenever you want Just so you know No one's ever going to stop you

Starting point is 00:52:43 Not here Not in Los Angeles Come here Fucking put some sneakers on Or some hiking boots Hike your ass off No one will say anything No one's going to stop you

Starting point is 00:52:52 Someone might even say Do you know where this trail ends Well here's another Did you want to join It's called Hike Club Evelyn Escobar Group Hiking with her

Starting point is 00:53:02 Dia As she went on excursions In national parks She felt out of place As a black Latina And noticed that people Looked at her funny Oh they did

Starting point is 00:53:10 But she moved to Los Angeles She decided to create a hiking community Yeah And started Hike Club In 2017 Did people look at you funny Because you were wearing funny shit Or you know like

Starting point is 00:53:21 Maybe you didn't have hiking gear on People were like What are you wearing I've done that I've seen somebody wearing Like khakis And I'm like Are you fucking crazy

Starting point is 00:53:29 Nerd There's a black hiking group A black girls trekking group Outdoor Asian This is the important work That's thankfully Someone's doing in this country You know

Starting point is 00:53:38 Because a lot of times You go on hikes And you're like Why is it so god damn Not Mixed up here It's not inclusive enough In these hiking trails

Starting point is 00:53:46 And I feel like we're So are they saying that What's the Are people supposed to Reach out more Well No they're saying So like for instance

Starting point is 00:53:54 If you're a disabled hiker A resource center For those with disabilities Who want to go outdoors That makes sense Is based in the Pacific Nor the West But it's making inroads

Starting point is 00:54:02 In California The group accepts trail guides Written by members Of the disabled community And his plans to So basically you go with a guide But see that feels like A totally different article

Starting point is 00:54:10 That's different No no no But I'm saying That I can understand That there's a difficulty Or a challenge Is associated with hiking

Starting point is 00:54:18 If you're disabled A hunter yes And to find a group That's cool That gives you Like that makes it easier And comfortable for you And maybe sets up a path

Starting point is 00:54:27 Depending on your disability To hike That makes a lot of sense I'm a little more curious About how my Latino brothers and sisters Are struggling to go outside And hike

Starting point is 00:54:39 Well do you want Do you want to hear what They're doing Sure Okay so there's a chapter Called the process of Removing barriers The hike before the hike

Starting point is 00:54:48 The idea is that People of color see Themselves represented On the trail So your first hike With the group Is to Baldwin Hills Scenic Overlooking Culver City

Starting point is 00:54:56 You're encouraged By the families To show up the easy Conversation that flowed Between Spanish and English And how group founder Jose Gonzalez Welcome to everyone

Starting point is 00:55:04 Listen if you're somebody That goes finally You're a fucking mess You need to get your Whole life is a fucking Mess Get your shit together You can go hiking

Starting point is 00:55:14 Wherever you want You can go on a walk You can ride your bike You can skateboard And we're acting like What is this fucking Rwanda or something And you're like I don't know

Starting point is 00:55:22 Or is there violence Like just go outside And hike The fuck are you talking about Man Well and not only that Los Angeles The name Los Angeles

Starting point is 00:55:30 We're kind of friendly Towards Latino people Kind of really cool I mean I know that Like there's The majority And there's racial issues That are pervasive

Starting point is 00:55:41 And long standing But the idea that Like this city This city You go outside And you walk around And you see people of Every origin

Starting point is 00:55:51 And ethnicity And like I reject the notion that That it's somehow not inclusive To hike Hiking That hiking is restrictive Like the fuck out of here

Starting point is 00:56:02 I wish I saw more black people Then bring one Bring a fucking black friend With you And you'll see more black people On their fucking trail Well so just to do my research I did ask Annie

Starting point is 00:56:11 Before I brought this To everyone's attention And I go Annie do you feel that hiking Has a diversity problem He goes He thinks about it And he goes

Starting point is 00:56:20 Well I mean I'd be afraid If I went hiking That my friends would beat my ass Because how lame it is To hike There you go And I was like Okay that makes sense

Starting point is 00:56:28 Okay But I do agree with you The disabled hikers Absolutely Yeah Absolutely 100% That sounds like a need

Starting point is 00:56:36 But that's also like You know I feel like that's a different article That's like Hey let's help disabled people And they should also have one For women I don't understand why

Starting point is 00:56:44 Everyone was a fucking stupid Idiot Yeah wait a minute They deserve Wait a minute Where's my inclusion list There should be a trail That says dumb broads here

Starting point is 00:56:52 And then you guys go that way Well can I tell you What would be helpful Drunk mix this way And you just fucking Pew can you lay in it What would be helpful Is because it can be

Starting point is 00:57:01 A menace to hike as a single woman To have hiking groups of women So that we don't get harassed Or raped Or masturbated to Because this is true I'll tell you what I have been in Griffith Park

Starting point is 00:57:11 I've seen guys J and their D's In their cars I've seen perverts Along these hiking trails Oh my gosh Oh man Okie doke That's Griffith Park right there

Starting point is 00:57:24 Right So the point is These actually helpful groups Like you know So a woman doesn't have to Hike alone at dusk That's helpful That's helpful

Starting point is 00:57:33 The disabled group That's actually pretty fucking helpful Yeah But But If you're If you're thinking about hiking And you're like

Starting point is 00:57:43 I don't know I'm Mexican I don't know what it's going to be like out there What's it going to be like Let me tell you something This is a perfect example Of how something written And that is online

Starting point is 00:57:57 Is nonsense This is make-believe Nonsense This is not real It is not a real issue Somebody has a fucking article To write And they're like

Starting point is 00:58:07 I don't know They're sure we're in a lot of black people on the trail And they wrote an article about this This is not true This is not true No And it's like Hiking has a diversity problem

Starting point is 00:58:18 No it doesn't Everything has a diversity problem nowadays This is jump the shark Now we're picking on hiking You don't have to pay the hike It's silly You don't have to get clearance There's no admission

Starting point is 00:58:28 There's no pay wall You just go and hike I don't know dude I hope this shit's going to end soon Because I hiked Right before I got hurt I hiked Not far from where we live

Starting point is 00:58:38 I went on a hike With one of our neighbors We went on a hike And I remember Going up that trail Seeing all kinds I did go Hey you're black

Starting point is 00:58:47 What are you doing here To somebody But then we came down And it was fine It was fine It was fine Fucking a hike A diversity issue

Starting point is 00:58:56 On the hike Get fucked Get fucked Fuck it all That's for you You haven't hiked yet Let me add to a Nashville You know

Starting point is 00:59:06 At these shows I look in the audience I've got all kinds of people There's black people White people People in wheelchairs Come to the show Now I have tables

Starting point is 00:59:14 Of Jewish people screaming I'm a Jew I swear I swear to God We're Jewish I said great Welcome The fuck out of here

Starting point is 00:59:22 Nadav hates the Jews Nadav The LA Times wrote that LA Times bro Cancel your fucking subscription No shit What a dumb What a dumb

Starting point is 00:59:32 What a dumb fucking What a dumb fucking What a dumb fucking Angle that is Such a stupid article Can I tell you what I'm offended as an Angelino That they're like

Starting point is 00:59:43 Hiking in Los Angeles We gotta work on the diversity Of the trails Fuck out of here It's not a job Isn't the majority Google I think more than 51%

Starting point is 00:59:56 Of our population Is Latino at this point No The majority of people In LA County Are Latino No Yeah

Starting point is 01:00:04 Didn't they do the last census And they said Dude they're It's gotta be high Majority Worked very fucking cool That's a lot of peeps Yeah

Starting point is 01:00:14 That's the nation's Hispanic population though Yeah it's Nadav He's not gonna So there's 5 million There are 5 million You're right 48%

Starting point is 01:00:24 48% of Los Angeles population Is Latino And 26% 26% white Great I love the Latinos I don't Get the fuck out of here

Starting point is 01:00:34 You run the city Fuck out of here This is your city bro What are you talking about And guess what You set the hiking standards Yeah you set those Latino hiking standards

Starting point is 01:00:42 Tell me Yeah You can even start Posting no whites Allowed on hiking trails Or just Blancos fuera Get out of here white people

Starting point is 01:00:54 There'll be no white people I love it Good Thank god The idea that this is an issue Is what's upsetting to me I'll tell you what's not an issue One of the funniest things

Starting point is 01:01:04 I've seen in a while What's that When everyone Go Go Easy Easy Easy

Starting point is 01:01:13 Easy Easy Easy Easy Easy Easy Easy Easy

Starting point is 01:04:35 Easy Easy ло Easy Easy Easy Easy Easy

Starting point is 02:13:13 Easy Easy Easy

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 595 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

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