Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 608 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://whoop.com and use code “YOURMOM” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Get 25% off when you go to https://liquid-iv.com and use code MOM at checkout. - Policygenius has saved shoppers up to $1,055 per year on their home and auto insurance. Head to https://policygenius.com to get started right now. - Go to https://babbel.com and use promo code MOM for an extra three months of Babbel FREE. - Try BlueChew FREE when you go to https://bluechew.com and use our promo code MOM at checkout (just pay $5 shipping). HIGH AND TIGHT!! It's just the Main Mommies for this week's YMH. Tom Segura and Christina P discuss parents having sex, Enny's new back tattoo, CP's shower revelation, and old music formats. They watch videos of a cool gal that pissed the bed, strong performer Adriana Chechik revealing her weekend schedule, a guy who makes a mistake arguing with a cab driver, a dude who insists you should make girls cheat on their boyfriends, and, of course, Christina's TikTok curations.

Should I do four DPs, DP days in a row? I mean, it's your birthday. It is my birthday. It's a great idea. You don't want to have a cool birthday? I want to have a cool birthday. Why don't you just duplicate the schedule? Well, who can we DP with?

That's really the thing. I mean, I think that's your college, your birthday. It's your mom's house. You're my maze. You're my maze. It's your mom's maze. Your mom's house. Your mom's house.

And Tommy is sexy as hell you don't. It's your mother's house. And Christina knows what brown talk's all about. Yeah, oh yeah. It's your mom's maze. Your mom's maze. Your mom's maze. Your mom's house.

It's your mom's maze. It's your mom's house. Tommy is sexy as hell you don't. It's your mom's house. And Christina knows what brown talk's all about. Yeah. It's your mom's maze. Your mom's maze.

Your mom's maze. Your mom's house. There's one thing I know it's that I have sexy vibes. Oh yeah. You're always about that horny getting. I'm always putting those sex vibes out there. Getting that panty put in flowing, huh? You know what I'm saying?

I wish I knew who made that. I know it's, I think they're podcasters. Oh, is that right? I remember because it's from a number of years ago. But I think they actually are, I think they have their own podcast. The guys who made that. It really reminds me of your, that Jodesy era.

You know where guys are standing on rocks. Yeah, in leather shorts and shit. Yeah. And you're like, why are you on the rocks though? You're on the shorelines? Yeah, you don't have to be that far in. You can stand on the shore. But they really felt stuff back then.

Oh my, oh, Jodesy especially. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it was a very romantic era for music. It's like aggressive romance. Yes. It's like, I want to be with you so bad, but it's not like, I want to be. No.

It's like, ah! It's like, I just fucking really want to be with you. Girl, I want to be with you. Like, oh, fuck, I want to fuck you so hard. Yeah, yeah. You're horny. Let's do it. Come write it, my pony.

Oh, okay. Remember that song? Do I remember that song? The first time I heard, I remember where I was in San Francisco. I was in the lower western edition, and somebody was playing it on the stoop. And I heard that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, this is kind of a jam.

What's this? And then the words, I was like, what, you could just say that? I bought the single on CD. And I would drive, you know, have my zipper cage. You fucking, yours was heavy, too, when we got to get another 30 pound case. It was heavy.

And like, also to put that in, in your car. Oh, so stupid. And it's a single. So then like it plays, and you're like, I'm driving, I guess I'm ready to listen to it again. Yeah, over. Listen to it like six times. Or the worst, I had a Volkswagen Jetta,

and it had the magazine that you could put six. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So now you're listening to the same six CDs for years. You realize how ancient that is to people. You know, we used to hear about like eight tracks and stuff. You're like, what? And now we're talking about CDs. And people are like, what the fuck, man?

Yeah. Oh, shit. Or remember, did you ever have, you know, because people would steal your stereo? Yeah. You ever have the removable face? Yes, the face. Or the whole thing came out.

The whole fucking. And you go to the club and you've got like the fucking your stereo. I'll hold my stereo. I'll bring my stereo with me, man. You got to put that shit down with your purse and like dance around. When you think about how like.

God. You know, now you listen to music on your phone. Before the phone, it was your iPod. Before your iPod, it was a portable CD player. Before the CD player was a Walkman tape player. You got like a big ass heavy tape player. I have to say, I enjoyed the Walkman. Maybe because it was my first thing.

But then you had to carry your tapes around too. So then that's a whole deal. Yeah. But but here's the benefit of the tape is you could do a mixed tape. So you could pack so many songs under one cassette. So it was kind of dope, right? Like you could jam out to one tape for like the whole,

you know, your whole trip. Yes. Yeah. There also was, I think you get more invested in your music when you have to actually select what you're going to, you know, your limit. Now you get to bring an entire the world's music on your phone. When you're like, I have to buy this and, you know,

1999. Remember, dude, when you go buy that, the CD and like Tuesdays. Tuesdays with new music drops. Is that right? Yeah. And remember, you go down to fucking fucking music plus or whatever. And then that the CD would be in a box, a cardboard box.

So it was like double the size of the CD. It was so wasteful. Like, why did they do that? They made the CD box long as fuck like this. Why would they do that? Huge. And then eventually they realized how wasteful that was. And then you just.

You ever steal one? No, because they always had the thing on them. Yeah. The system. You can still get away with it. Is that right? How did you get away with it? How do you get rid of the sensor on there?

I just break it later. You just. The warehouse, remember the warehouse? I got followed one time in the store by security. No. And I didn't even steal anything. I just had a big hoodie on. And they were like.

Why? This knucklehead. Because I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low. Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know. Okay. On that note. Professional rapper.

Do you know where that's from? He was doing $55,000. Yeah. I know what that's. Yeah. It's pretty well known. Do you know that song? Yeah.

Do you know what it's about? Sean Carter and all his problems. Yeah. Yeah. Guys. Can I play the opening clip? Have you guys heard of Wi-Fi? All right.

Here we go, everybody. Yeah. I'm ready. I pee in the bed. It's so embarrassed. I guess I'm going to get me a shower here in a minute. Because I have a whole apartment. So it's like pee.

Oh, it's randy. Don't bring anyone lovin' shit. Don't bring them lovin' shit. Well, welcome. Welcome to your bomb house. With Tom Segura. Tom Segura. And Stina Pujetsin.

And Stina Pujetsin. Welcome to your bomb house. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. This is a really good clip. Now, why does it tickle us so much? It's really great.

I think it's just right to the point. You know, there's no dancing around it. Wait. I want to know what's going on. Because I pee in the bed. It's so embarrassed. It's so embarrassing. I think it's just right to the point.

You know, there's no dancing around it. Wait. I want to know what's going on. Because I pee in the bed. It's so embarrassed. I guess I'm going to get me a shower here in a minute. Because I have a whole purpose for like pee. Yeah.

I mean, there's one of the things that entered my mind is why share this. That's probably my first question. I get it. This happens and you're horribly embarrassed. You don't have to announce it. Right. And especially her first inclination is to take to the internet to report it rather than clean it first.

Right. Also, this place smells and I'm covered in pee. I'm going to shower now. I mean, just go take the shower. Just go right away. I'm just ashamed, you know. It doesn't have to be this way. I got pads on my bed.

I guess I just peed right through them. I mean, they don't work. They just don't work, you know what I mean? They don't work. They don't what? Verk. She's Hungarian. They don't work.

They just don't work, you know what I mean? They don't work? What does that mean? They don't work. They don't work. They just don't work, you know what I mean? They don't work? They just don't work?

They don't work. What did you do? I got worse my hair because I got so much dirt in my hair, you can probably make some cornbread with it. I mean, I'm just having an overall bad day. I peed the bed. What the fuck? Well, because all of this is...

This would be an amazing dating video for your profile. I'm single. I've pissed the bed a lot. I smell like dirt. I'm free on Saturday if you want to hang out. Gosh. And you know, there's this definite lane of people who love to report having a bad day. Yeah.

I'm just having a bad day. Yeah. I think you're looking for people to validate it and to make your day. Yeah, sympathy for sure. I'm just... I peed the bed. But save it. Save it for yourself.

I don't tell people like, I don't have a bad day. Yeah. Right? I think you have other outlets though. That's true. You just get angry at the audience members. They just don't work. They just don't work.

You know what I mean? That is the strangest... I don't know where that's coming from. They don't work. Maybe it's Baltimore? Oh, Ryan would know. Maybe. They don't work.

Why? Well, they do do Ws though. They turn Ls into Ws. You know? Don't they add like extra Rs into things? Maybe. Maybe you're right. They don't work.

It just sounds like the wire. It sounds like an episode of the wire. They don't work. They just don't work. Let's hear that again. They don't work. You want to hear that again? Okay.

They don't work. They just don't work. You know what I mean? Yeah. She's saying R-E-R-K. Is it because she has no teeth? No. She's got teeth.

And she's covered in piss. Just having a bad day. Yeah. Man. I mean, that is a bad day though. It's a really bad day. To piss your bed and then have corn meal in your hair is not. Yeah.

Terrible. All preventable problems, but not for her, I guess. When's the last time you peed the bed? It was like as an adult, but like 17, 18. I still remember that I was, and I think I was in high school and I had like one of those vivid dreams where I was swimming and I peed in the pool and I could not believe when I woke up, I had fully, I mean emptied my bladder and I was like how, because it's been years since that happened, I was like, and I remembered the dream being so vivid

of like swimming. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I'm going to piss in this pool. And you made a video right away. And right away I was like, I'm mortified. I pissed the bed. You know what I did do though? I remember I did this.

I flipped my mattress over because I was embarrassed. Smart. I would too. Because you were living with your mom back then. Yeah. I was living with my parents and I was like seven. I mean, I'm like a junior in high school. And did your room smell like pee?

I didn't register that. I just remember, I remember that the amount was alarming and I was so embarrassed and then I flipped that mattress over. Yeah. Because what do you do when you pissed your mattress? Can you clean that out? You can cover pads, but if they don't work, then you're not going to have that. They don't work.

You're not going to have that. Yeah. Because I imagine you'd have to get a new mattress. No? Because all that piss is sinking into the coils and into the layers of the fabric in the mattress and such. I don't know. I don't know.

Huh. Huh. I don't think I've pissed since I was a kid. I haven't peed the bed and all. But I have those dreams where I have to make a sissy and then I wake up and I'm like, why better go pee? I got peed. Maybe you were still developing.

17 is still a teenager. Still, yeah. Your brain was not formed. So I have a real interesting Pajitski effect. So we're staying in a hotel as we record these and this is the same hotel we stayed in last time. So I've been working with a shower for a while now. It's been like a while.

Every time I shower, so here's how it goes. The shower head is here. To the left of me is the curtain and then to the right of me is the wall. We should say that the left side that has the curtain, it's not a tub. It's just, you know what I mean? It's stand. Right. It's flat.

In other words, there is no tub. You just walk without having to step over anything from the bathroom floor into the shower. So it's one level. It's one level. It's troubling. So every time I shower now, the last time we were here, I just get the whole floor wet, right? Into where we have to walk and then I'm like, fuck, I got to put towels down.

The towels are soaked in cold misery. So I had the idea of getting in and just tilting the shower head towards the wall and now the water sprays more in that direction versus out the shower curtain and that took me about a good week and a half of showering sometimes twice a day and getting water everywhere. But Annie says that that's not a complete Pejitzki effect. So what are you thinking? So I'm a little off because I thought that you had the tub. So I thought, like, why don't you just tuck it in the tub so no child water doesn't get

up. But still, when you're saying that you're putting the towels down, are you putting them down like because the water is super, it's everywhere and so you're putting it down to clean. So put the towels down first and then the water won't get on the ground, you know? Yeah, it'll just get absorbed by the towel. You didn't do that? You just cleaned it up afterwards?

Like I let it get all wet, like super wet and then I just put the towel down. That's fully tucked. I know. Yeah. Hold on. Do you have the towels in the bathroom that are like for that? Yes. You know they make towels for that?

Yes. I know. I don't believe in that. There's just the one. There's the one that they tuck next to the shower for that. Yeah. So I put that one. Sometimes I put down.

Sometimes I forget. They also have bath mats in there. You know what I mean? Like rolled up. Like for you to stand on. But they have absorbent qualities too. I put them by the shower when I shower. So that the water gets absorbed.

So Christina, when you walk into the bathroom after Tom, what do you think he's doing with that towel? I don't. They don't work. They just don't work, you know what I mean? With the with the absorbent towel, I don't know because like part of me, the communist in me goes, wait, why would they invent a towel to put just on the floor? That's so decadent and wasteful.

Like I don't understand. Like to me, that's so bougie. Like who has that? You know? Yeah. Um, so any has a Pijotsky effect. We cover this on where my mom's, do you want to talk about? Oh my God.

So any, this is a very popular line of water bottle. How do you, how did you pronounce this for your whole life? Up until literally a week ago, I've been calling that Evian. Evian. I thought it was, I, I understand that except for the part that it's so widely known. Like phonetically, I get it, but you never heard anybody say it, huh? No. Somehow, no.

Or if I did, I was just like, yeah, that's the best. Oh man. Evian. Evian. Yeah. The only, I mean, why would it be Evian? I think because there's no, there's not an accent. You're right.

You're right. So I think because of that, my instinct was to read it as English and the only English word that I knew was deviant. That has the word. Oh smart. It's very well explained. It's a logical, I think the only reason we all know it as Evian, Evian is because of the advertising.

Like when this came out, there was such a campaign so that everybody was like Evian. What the fuck is that? Like we all processed it. You know, it was like the, I think one of the first like excessively fancy products that I feel like I remember. You know what I mean? Yes. You buy, and then someone's like, do you want Evian?

And you're like, what? And they're like, it's expensive. Yeah. You know? Like it's a, you can buy it, but you can buy one for way less. Yeah. Evian was a luxury. As a luxury item.

A luxury water. And you're like, what? But it became super popular. It became a punchline. I remember every comic was like, and then you, what are you drinking Evian, you fancy bitch? But I'm talking more about Annie's epiphany with hot water. Oh. Do you want to walk us through that one?

Sorry, this is back to the showers. Yes. We're going back to the shower. So yeah, we did wear my mom's hat. Somebody called in a Pijitzki effect, which was, go ahead, Annie. So she said, she's been putting the dial to halfway in between hot and cold and waiting for the water to get hot. And she said, and this whole time I didn't know that I didn't realize that you could

just put it, or no, she didn't say she didn't realize. She just said, I've just not been putting it all the way to hot so that it could go and get hot faster. Yeah. And in my head, I'm like, yeah, it's because that's not how that works. That's not how. But then everyone was like, duh, I'm like, what? Wait, hold on.

So just so that it's clear to the audience, you didn't realize that if you crank it to max heat, that it would actually get hot faster. Yeah. No, to me, I just imagined that once, you know, even sounds done saying, yeah, shit. It's okay. In my head, it worked like whenever you achieve hotness, it is whatever temperature you set it at, which is absolutely not. Now I get it now.

I get it. I get what you're saying. Which makes sense too, because like, did your parents, were they like, no, you can't, you shouldn't have it too hot? Was it a safety measure growing up? No. I'm like, yeah, you know what, you just gave me a fucking flashback to being, do you remember like being lectured about how long your shower is?

Yes. Like how lame that is when you're like. So lame. How long you taking a shower for? And you're like, I mean. I don't know. I mean, the only pleasures I get is like, yeah, you're like, I'm just taking a shower. And they're like hot, wasting hot water, wasting water, you know, I remember those,

those like speeches made me crazy. And I think too, like we live, don't use all the hot water and you're like, if I can get a better water heater. And I think we lived in an apartment where that was just included in the monthly bill. Yeah. So it was like, what, what, what, what difference does it make if I stay in there for a fucking half hour? It's the best.

It's included in my rental fee. No, you know, I've never, I've never even thought that I could take long. Oh, like I it's been beaten in my head that you take short showers and I still also worked on. I don't understand. I don't even understand what people do in there. But you find it relaxing to take a nice, like a nice shower. Yeah.

I get nice and relaxed in two or three minutes while I'm in there. And that's it. Yeah. Every shower you do is like that. It's just like it's a shower like I shit. It's just I do the business and then I get out. It's like shampoo. I find that to be like one of the great pleasures is like in a nice hot shower and just, you

know what I mean? The water running on the back of your neck and just kind of, it's almost like meditative at times. You know, you know what? Maybe it could be. Have you ever changed the stream of your shower? Yeah. I have a shower head like one of those rainfall ones and it's like, yeah, it's really elevated

those, those three minutes I spend in there. Yeah. My parents were so immigrant. They beat that into him. Yeah, that's true. Like you can't do this. Who's got that kind of money? You know, luxury.

Yeah. It's so sad. Yeah. Turn the light off when you leave a room. Oh, yeah. It's like turning the air conditioning on is a whole family discussion. Yeah. Yeah.

Wait, it's not that expensive. Dude, my dad used to get, my dad used to get pissed about a door to the outside open. Oh, yeah. Of course. Oh, bass. Bell. Yeah. And then he would like adjust temperatures by like one degree all the time.

Oh. You know, I'd be like, this feels nice. He'd like raise it one degree. You're like, okay. You know. But I have to, I have to say, I think I agree with your dad on that one, that one degree difference. No, it makes a difference.

In a hotel room. Yeah. You're like, oh my gosh, this is the difference between me having a great night and just like a hot night. You know. He has his beating that the door open to me has led into me now. Now. Getting the door open.

Like don't leave the door open. Oh, yes. And now I'm like, shut the goddamn door. All right, I'm paying this fucking air conditioning bill, shit. I still can't believe that we don't put car seat covers on our car seats. I feel guilty every time I get in there. I'm like, this seat's not even covered on our car seats. Yeah.

I mean like for the children. No, just for like our car seats. Yeah. Cause I grew up with like, you cover the car seats cause those can't get mess on that. You covered couches too. Of course. And I feel guilty every time we get on our couch and I'm like, oh, that is some wow immigrant shit.

Yeah. To maintain the integrity of the couch for the duration that you own it. Yeah. It's insane. I could take the sheet off the couch because you don't want guests to know that you live that way. Oh. The whole point was that you did it in private.

Like you came home, you got in your house clothes and then you laid on the sheets on the couch, especially in summer when you're all hot and sweaty. I kind of like it. I like it. It's more hygienic. Well, yeah. Cause then how often are you cleaning your couch and you lay there with your armpits and your sweat and your nuts, you know, food on there.

Oh shit. I wish I could cover it now. It's getting me all thinking about it. Some nice sheets on there. Oh. On the couch. Yeah. It's good.

Keeps the couch nice for many years. You keep it much longer. It's nice. No. Let's not do this. Okay. Well. I don't want to do this.

Okay. I have money to burn. Mr. Moneybags. You know what's interesting? You pointed out and I didn't realize that I did this is my use of brute force. You remember that when we learned that the drawer, sorry, that drawer opens with a lock, the magnetic lock in our old house. Oh my God.

And I've just been forcing it open. Yes. Okay. I came, I didn't tell you I did this. I came home to LAX with the kids. I was flying and I had to wait for the stroller to come off the jet bridge. The kids were already in baggage claim, getting the bags and everything. I could not find the elevator.

I have the stroller. Big-ass double stroller. I could not find the elevator to take me down into baggage claim. Yeah. What'd you do? I put the big-ass double stroller, I mean it's huge, on the escalator and I just held it down and I had the whole time I was like, Tom would not approve of this. I think I would not approve if you had the kids on it.

No, I wouldn't do that. Yeah. Then I would be like you out of your fucking mind. Yeah. But alone, that's fine. That was okay. That's totally okay. It was.

It's fine. Savage behavior or dignified. Yeah, no, that's totally fine. I bet she thinks it's fine. I think, hey. What is it, Biskie? Biskie, what are you doing? You're not even on mic.

She's just had something to say. Now, keeping on the any lane, we haven't visited, I don't think on this show, his tattoo yet. Oh my. You just talked about it. Oh boy. Oh boy. This is something. So before I bring it up, how long have you wanted to get a tattoo?

I've wanted to get, I mean it's been at least like five years. Five years. It's been a long time. Did you entertain many different designs? Well, that was the problem is that every design was like, you know, it mattered to me in the moment, but it's like, is this important enough to last forever? Well, let's run through some options. What were your options?

Oh boy. Oh, I'm bad at this, but it was always stuff that happened that changed my life. So like, I feel like I've always been kind of, had like a luck that people call it around me, so I was going to get Ganesh, you know, it's the elephant. Ganesh, yeah. I was going to do that. I was going to do like a, like a black dragon of some kind on my arm, a bunch of different things.

You know, nothing super specific because except the one that I got, because that's the one that I thought about the longest. And you thought about that. So you thought about this for a long time. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And did you always have the size in mind?

No. No. So you didn't know whether this was going to be small, like, did you always have placement in mind? Like where it would go? Did you entertain different places? I'm going to say I knew that it was going to be where it is probably a couple, two, three months ago.

Like I started, I talked about it here first for sure, like in our office. Okay. Yeah. All right. Well, here it is. You haven't seen it yet. This is any first tattoo. Wow.

First. First. I mean, the size of it is what first gets me. For those just listening, it's the entire upper back. Yeah. Your whole back is covered. I mean. That shit took forever.

How long did this take? It took eight hours. And you got three of the hours before, right before you got on the plane? Yeah. It was like, like I got on a plane. I couldn't sleep really because it was like, yeah, I just, because I figured it was going to be like, there was enough pain and, and stress in that situation that I'd be able to finally sleep on a plane because I don't sleep on planes.

And you did not though. I think I did for like 45 minutes or something. Was this painful to fly with because you came right from the shop? Yeah. That was the worst. Yeah. It was the worst to fly with and it was the worst to carry a baggage. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I had a huge like strap over your shoulder. Oh my God. It was pretty cool. It's a good long flight too. It's a good four. It's good work. It looks like it's good work, you know?

Like a. So what is it? Tell the audience because they don't know what we're looking at. So it's a 12 legged, that's the first thing that people freak out about, 12 legged black widow and it's got the number four on its back. Four is just my lucky number. That's your lucky number. That's it.

Yeah. It's a 12 legged black widow. So the black widow, it's a reference. There's symbolism behind the black widow in itself, but the actual exact reference is from an anime. It's called Hunter X Hunter. I don't want to bore you with the details, but it's. No, no, no.

I like the details. Yeah. So what's the reference? Like what's the, why, what's the significance for you? What does it mean to you? It's a long, it's a long, it's a lot. There's a character in his name is Hisoka and Hisoka is like a dude that doesn't really identify as like straight or gay.

No, I'm just kidding. He doesn't, he doesn't identify as like good or bad. You know, he's not, he's one of those characters that's like, you never really know if they're on the good side or the bad side. They're right in the middle. It's just like you. And yeah, I just, I, I identify with that and he is number four in the, in the anime. So.

And are we supposed to now think that we don't know whether you're good or bad though? Well, the thing is, I like, I like not thinking about good, like right or wrong. I like thinking about what makes sense to you, what speaks to you. And sometimes it's not going to agree with everybody else, but. That's true. That's a good point. That's, that's what I go by. And I'm never trying to hurt people.

So as long as that's not the goal, then, you know, do, do what speaks to you. Do what it, yeah. That's a big. That's a big. It's a big. It's fucking big. Has, has your mom seen it? Yeah.

Yeah. She's one of the first people that I showed. What'd you think? She thought it was fake for sure. She was like, she's like, you're, you're playing with me like it's close to mother's day and I see what you're trying to do here and I'm like, no, mom, it's real. Like I swear. And it was just a lot of whys, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But why? And I told her, she's like, yeah, but, but why that though? Like why? Yeah. It's a lot of other things. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, she was, she was cool. At the end of the day, she supports me.

You know? Of course. I mean, that is a massive first tattoo. Oh yeah. Well, that was the, I'm going to say almost more important than the symbolism itself was the fact that it was that large and the fact that it's a spider, which I hate. Um, I'm absolutely terrified of spiders. Um, that, those together, I needed to do this.

Like I knew it was something, I don't like fear. I hate having fear. I hate being afraid of things. And so I, the only, I knew how the only way I was going to get this done is if I did it like that. There you go. Not like a little, you know, thing on my ankle or something. Yeah.

Yeah. I needed to go all the way. So many way to go. We'll see this thing right here by my thumb. That's a spider. I'm scared of them. You did. You did the real deal.

You did the opposite of that. I'm terrified of this thing that takes up half my body right now. I'm like Batman, baby. It makes me strong. There you go. Woo. Now let me ask you something. Sure.

Do you have weekend plans? Of course. It's my birthday. Okay. But no. That's true. And it's going to be a great weekend. Do you want to see what Adriana Chechek's weekend plans are?

Of course. Yeah. I'm doing a DP on Friday, a DP on Saturday before my dunk tank. So I'm going to get home at two. I have a hard out at my two because I didn't want to fuck up my, the dunk tank and carnival thing I'm doing for tWish. So DP Friday, DP Saturday, Sunday, DP and Monday, boy girl anal scene. I'm like, oh my God, this is going to be a fun ass weekend.

I mean, at least I'll be like stretched out. So that's good. That is good. Fuckin' A. DP. She's a goddamn angel. So four days of a DP. DP Friday, DP Saturday, DP Sunday, and then boy girl anal scene Monday.

And then a dunk tank. And then the dunk tank on tWish. She does have a busy weekend. And by the way, if I may be so bold, sounds like a birthday weekend. Yeah. I don't know if you're interested in. Should I do four DPs, DP days in a row? I mean, it's your birthday.

It is my birthday. It's a great idea. You don't want to have a cool birthday? I want to have a cool birthday. Why don't you just duplicate the schedule? Who can we DP with? That's really the. I mean, I think that's your college, your birthday.

The real question is who, who can we trust to DP with, you know, where you're cool with to be that close to. I mean, you know, just the fucking bell hop at the hotel. He's pretty cool. All right. Yeah, I like him. Yeah. You know, I'm talking about a guy with the bald head.

Provencio. Yeah. I like him too. Yeah. DP. DP. Let's ask him when we get back. Let's do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Gosh, could you imagine a DP? Yeah. It's crazy. DP Friday, DP Saturday. Do people really do this in real life? You think?

This is. Yeah. I mean, at least I'll be like stretched out. So that's good. It is good. This way all these shit just falls out of you. It's nice. I, I, yeah, I didn't know you could schedule back to back DP's.

One would think you should rest in between seshes. She's a savage though. You know? She's savage. You know who put me on to how savage she is? No. Glitter cheese, Lisa Traeger. Oh, I love Lisa Traeger.

Lisa Traeger is a big Adriana Chetic fan. I didn't even know who she was until now. And she was like giving me the full scoop. She's like, she's such a fucking animal. Like talking to me, but she's like on her only fan. She said she's like. Lisa loves her. Lisa thinks she's great.

Huge fan. Huge fan, but like really put me on to like, she's like, no, you don't understand. This chick is intense. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I gotta peruse her work. I didn't even know.

Yeah. I don't know if it's for you. I'm just going to go out there and tell you that. Who DP's her? Is there a genre? Is it black guys? Just guys. Is it old guys?

No, just all you have to do. White guys. Male. Just dudes. Yeah. You have lanes. That's true. That's true.

Fair to say, but that's the thing about Adriana from what I've learned is that she's like all systems go all the time. Anything goes. Wow. That is cool. She's awesome. Yeah. You know what I like?

I think her boobs look kind of normal too. Can I tell you something about how like her presentation, like even right here, she's hot, right? Yeah. And but she's like, I think it fits what she does because we were talking about like being desired and attraction. Yes. And how like sometimes in some people, like it's almost like with her, you look at her

and you go, yeah, of course, like look how she's built, look at everything. But if she were like even dressed down, you'd be like, wow, that chicks hot, right? Because she's not asking for it. That's what we were talking about. Yes. Like when you ask for it, you'll get it too. Yes. But when you don't ask for it, it's like you get it even more.

Let me tell you, when I used to just have a mountain of dicks at my door, like the times it wasn't when I was at the club, looking cute and fly. Actually, when you're looking hot and you want guys to talk to you, it doesn't happen for some reason. It's a little harder. Well, it does, but it's probably like, it's always like, yes, not the guys you want. It's not the cute. It's not really the good ones.

It's always the guys that are like out for the hunt. The most times I had dudes come up to me is when I was like working at public safety. Shout out to Department of Public Safety, USF in the parking box in the booth. When I was wearing a fucking windbreaker, the blue Department of Public Safety windbreaker. You see, I get that so much when you say that because I picture myself driving up to the booth and I'd be like, who's this super cute chick in the wind? That's the trick. And then you go like, why is she fucking working?

Low self-esteem. Yeah. Low self-esteem. Didn't have that. Sure, I'll do that job. Don't care. This chick fucks for sure. That would be my next thought.

Let me tell you, I had dudes standing there my whole shift. Sometimes I'd work four hours straight in the box. One guy would come chat with me, leave, and then another, like it was just like a line of dudes. They all wanted to bang names. Why do you think that is, though, that the dress down, not try, is what gets... I'll tell you. The dress down works.

It does work. Because even when we're talking about it, I was like, oh yeah, it's like when you go into a, especially a type of store that like someone has to wear a uniform. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like a company wear. You know, it could be the AT&T store. Oh, wow.

You're not. You're like, you see like a pretty girl in that, you're like, whoa. It stands out more. It stands out more. Because everyone else looks like a dog in that thing. That's true. And then that girl's like just like a middle of the, like not, not the hottest, but like, and also I think there's, if you're accessible and you're nice, men sense it too when you

like them. When you really do enjoy their company or if you're a bitch in your standoffish. That's different energy too. And also I didn't give a fuck. I think I never gave, I never gave off horny vibes. Like I want you to sexualize me first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, I think the vibe of confidence is more attractive than like, look at me, I'm

putting it out there. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The less I gave a shit, the more offers I always had. Yeah. And I never was the kind of girl to dress provocatively, never. And I always had dudes, just so many dudes wanted to fuck me. You know?

So many offers and I chose you. I always had dudes knocking on this door. I hear you. Let me tell you. It's so popular. Even now, I have to tell you that sometimes I'm on stage and I'm saying crazy shit and I don't dress sexual. I don't really give off vibes and dudes love it.

I'll tell you something. Dudes love it. People think I'm cute too. So. Who you got? Please. Who you got? Please.

Who are you DMing with? Let's talk about that. So many hoes. Are we hot wife in this weekend for my birthday or what? If that's what you want, I'll give you your fucking present. No, but the only time I've gotten like compliments, compliments is actually not, you know, trying. Never try. Yeah.

That's the message. Don't try. Don't try. Yeah. If you think as a woman, you have to have a certain level of attractiveness, like you still have to be attractive, you know? Well, everyone has to try their best. You have to try their best.

That's what I've learned. But you don't have to go overboard and be like. Whatever age you are, there's a certain level of try and you've got to try that. That's right. Yeah. Now, I saw this TikTok and I don't know if this is true. I didn't save it because I was like, I'm not sure if this is good for the show, but it's interesting.

This guy was saying on a podcast, he said, man, when they look at a woman, put your butt her in one of two categories, okay? It's either a wife or just someone to have fun with. And the other guy was like, oh, for sure, for sure. And I'm like, ah, that rings true. I can see that, like either she's like wife material. Yeah. It's called marriage material.

Or just someone you play with. Yeah. And do you agree with that statement? 100%. I knew it. Yeah. Even when like I meet people now, like as I have like one of my friends who I'm like. Like people.

Yeah. Dating people. Yeah. When I'm out on dates and stuff, I'll, you know, like my friend who is a single guy, when we talk about dates he goes on, it's like the same type of conversation. It's like, you know, she's cute or she's hot or whatever, but like this other chick is like marriage material. You know what I mean?

So I think you even, like even if I, if I meet a woman and I'm thinking about my friend, I'll be like, oh, this is someone for him to hook up with. This is someone for him to like date. You're categorizing them that way. And I, and I interesting because I've always suspected that men think that way, but I was never certain. So tell the listeners. Well, like you'd think of, there's like, I'm starting the way we look at women.

Almost immediately you can put, you put down like this is a high quality woman. So what is that? So what goes into being high quality? Self-respect, the way she carries herself, you know, has, you know, has opinions, things to say, articulate, career driven in some way, just like a certain, yeah, I think it's like the way she carries herself. And you go like, this person carries himself in a certain way. You just, it's just like an intuitive thing.

You start, you put them on a different level. Like you respect them more because they respect themselves. So true. And then, you know, I think women would definitely view men somewhat the same way. You know, there's a certain type of way a guy can present himself and you go like, oh, this guy's got it's shit together. Boyfriend material and like, this other guy's just a fucking idiot. Yeah.

He's an idiot. It's the same thing. I mean, you meet these women too. It's like right away, she's like, you're like, all right, this is just some dumb huss. But like, I'm not saying we should throw her in the street. I'm just saying we should probably fill her up first, you know. And yeah, that's the way we view women. I mean, I don't know.

Do you agree or no? That's pretty accurate. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it's like, I feel like an easy way to put it is a girl that makes you want to be better is generally the wife material, but a girl that just makes you feel good about who you already are, like, you know, you could be you. Even better summarized.

Wait, so the girl that lets you be you? No, it's like, that doesn't let you be you. It's a girl that just is like, just admires you like, look how great you are. And you don't have to grow to get this girl. She's already there. That is the best. That's so interesting. That is the better point because what it is is when you when you meet a woman that you

go like, wow, you want to be the best version of yourself. And that's the ultimate compliment to that woman. And like you end up going like, oh, like I want to be better because this woman is worth that. Exactly. That thing of keeping. The best version of myself I can be. That's so interesting.

And then I think women, when we meet a man we love, we get maternal towards them. I get feelings of like, I want to protect her for you. So like, I remember when we were dating and things were getting serious. Remember you got sick, you got a cold. And the first thing I did was cook for you. I made chicken public. I don't remember that. And I remember that day going like, oh, I care for him.

Like I love him. I'm getting maternal towards him. I will still J or D and, you know, F and stuff, but the care element, like when a woman wants to care for you. That's like, that's how you know that she's in it. Really in you. Not just like what I heard dog. Yeah.

So that's interesting. Yeah. Because with dudes too, you know, like who's a fucking trash hound. You're like, this guy's just banging every chick in the neighborhood. I'm not down with that. And like, I, it's not a track. It was not attractive to me personally when I knew a guy had high numbers. Yeah.

I was always like, you're nasty, dude. I don't like that. Yeah. No. You got a problem. You got like a sex addiction problem or something. Yeah. Well, when a woman has crazy high numbers, you just kind of go like, oh, well, she's going

to be good at this, you know? But I'm not going to like, you know, bring her to meet mom. See, that's so, and I think what's trying, like what's happening in society now is women are starting to be like, you know, what the fuck? Why can't I have sex like men? I should be able to, to bang as many dudes as I want and yeah. DP Friday, DP Saturday, DP Monday. Yeah.

Yeah. But then are you going to want to bring that chick home to mom? Now see, I would bring Adriana to her home because I feel like it would be a fun time at the house. She would get along so well with your dad. Oh my God. My dad would be like two at the same time. She'll be like, sometimes I've done five.

Whoa. How much would you find the holes? Love her. Oh yeah. I mean, we'd have to get your mom out of the way and like she could sit on his lap and put his, put her tits in his face. He would love it. I love what you're thinking.

Why? It'd be fun. Can we hire her for that? I don't know. She's pretty good money. Let's send your mom to the casino for the day. Oh my God. And she comes home.

How was your day? Like this broad put her beautiful tits in my face and then Tommy and I DP her. What is a DP? Okay. I never thought I'd fuck someone with my son. Dad, it was really a special moment. I'll never forget. Who do you think will come first though?

You or your dad? Holy shit. We'll talk about it because, okay, because like he hasn't had another woman in like 40 years. More. Yeah. Right. And yes, he's got age against him, but he might be so excited.

I think he's going to come first. I'm going to go ahead and bet on that. Wow. You think your dad comes first? I just, it was so good. Oh, shit. And when you come in for me. I think I could come again.

Oh, God, dad. Well, that's a good question. So then do you make him go in the same hole he was in before? Oh my God. Or do you guys switch? Well, you know, I can see him doing, she could be like put it in my ass and my dad going, I'm not into that. And I'd be like, I'll give it a shot, dad.

Yeah. Check this out. Yeah. And your dad has to watch you come. Oh, God. Do you think, wait, but just listen to me. Do you think you could come with your dad sitting there because he's going to finish first and then he's like sitting on the couch watching you guys?

Do you think that you could come after your dad is watching you? It's got to be tough. I mean, if I'm focusing on him, no. If I get distracted enough and forget that he's there, but it would also be weird if like I forget he's there. I'm super into Adriana. We're doing it. And then I just hear, come on, buddy.

I'm like, God damn it. Stop. He's like, you can do it. I'm like, shut the fuck up, man. Because he, that's what he would do in football and basketball. All right, buddy. Yeah. You going to come?

Oh, fuck. Come on, dad. I'm trying to fuck this shit. Are their father, son, DPs? Is that a, is that a genre of porn? I'm sure, but they're not really father and son. Well, they should be. This seems like a really fun lane.

Oh no, it doesn't. Well they have mother, daughter. That's not a fetish. Nadav, Nadav, would you date DPs someone with your father? Absolutely not. I already know way too much about what he likes. Really? Yeah.

You know what turns him on? He's a sharer. Yeah, because after the divorce he just ran through his entire yoga class and he just like, yeah, this one I don't like because of this, this one I don't like because of that. And I'm like, I don't need to know this stuff, dad. So he was really, what was his, what did he like? Yeah.

Like how did he speak game? Like what was his thing for picking? I never watched it. I never saw it in front of him, but yeah, I mean, he would just, he's like, he prioritized where he lived based on how close it was to the yoga studio when he went through a yoga phase, which was right after the divorce. That's a good, it's probably a good like grounds for picking, right? The best.

They're almost naked and they're athletic. And they're all walks of life. And they're like, oh, and he does yoga, so he cares about his health. He didn't. Yeah. He slept, like he slept in yoga class, like multiple times, like, I think my sister went and did yoga with him and she's like, that snores. That is so funny.

Yeah. What are you doing? Just sleeping. Yeah. I was just soaking up at the end of the class. Hey, how was that class? It was pretty good. I slept for an hour.

Yeah. He's like, I love yoga. But Nadav, what if it's your, like, who's the hottest chick you can, like, who's your favorite hot girl? Like celebrity. Do you have a celebrity crush? You know what? Back in the day, I remember I had the hugest thing for Amber Heard, but then all the Johnny

Depp. Oh, the one that was married to Amber Heard, or that to Johnny Depp. And then he like was accused of abusing her and stuff, right? Well, she's, yeah, she's the one that accused him and like there was like, there's just But then, wasn't that like debunked or something? Yeah. No, and she like did that to a, I think she did that to a couple of people. Geez.

She's real crazy. Right. And then the crazy came out and then she kind of stopped. So wait, did that actually happen or that was just all made up? Um, I think it might still be going on. Like, I think, like, yeah, it's like, there was all sorts of recordings coming out that Johnny Depp released and stuff. Wow.

Um, I think Stan Hope retweeted because they're like super close. Yeah. So back to my point, Amber Heard is single and she's a huge fan of your mom's house. Oh no. And she's like, it's off. I just love you. You're so erotic and nothing would make me happier than getting dp'd by you and your dad.

Did you do it? No. Why? Why? Because someone that wants that automatically rules you out of being my dream girl. You want to fuck my dad the same time you want to fuck me? Because she likes you so much. She's like, I like that.

She'd fuck my dad. She's like, I want to fuck you in every iteration genetically of you. Like you, if you're hot, like your dad's probably got to be hot too. I want to fuck both of you guys. Yeah. But then I have the thing and just like, oh great. So now I'm competing with my dad for the girl in my dream. Like that's just not a situation I want to be in.

Okay. If she's just like, ah, Nadav, your dad fucks so much better than you. I think I'm good. I think I'm just going to stick with that. By the way, I'm sure he does. I'm sure he does. I'm pretty sure too. Oh man.

If you had to DP with your dad, do you think like, he'd probably get on the bottom. You'd have to squat over, right? Wait. Who's on the bottom? He's laying on his back. The girl's sitting on him and they're standing over and putting yours in. Wait a minute. From behind.

You know what I mean? I don't know. Oh wow. So hold on. Oh, you're laying down. Because when you're doing, when you're sharing, it's like, you have to, if you're on top, you have to probably get in like super weird positions, at least at the points that I've seen.

Yeah. And it's like, I don't think my, my back could handle that. Yeah. You'd have to have that conversation with your dad in front of Adria or in front of Amber. And she'd be like, are we going to fuck you be like, well, my back, hold on, we got to work out this back issue. Guys, come on. Come on, Nadav.

This is the best conversation. Come on, Nick. I'm much older than you. My legs are. Nadavi, come on. Why not? Are you going to get in the ass first or the vagine? Do you want to eat her up or can I go get her first?

Oh yeah. Nadav, you're doing it wrong. There you go. That's the thing too. You're, you're not speeding in her mouth. You neglect the clit always. Right. Because I mean, he probably fucks like an Israeli.

So it's probably way more disrespectful than the normal stuff. What? Is that true? Are they disrespectful ways? I don't know. I mean, they're disrespectful out of the bedroom, probably in the bedroom too. Oh wow. Wow.

Jesus Christ. Jesus. So what do you take though? You give your dad the pink or the stink? Oh my God. Oh my God. My eyes are watering. All right.

Annie, you and your dad are fucking this girl, right? That's easy for me. I don't know that. Nick is so sure. And at the end, when you guys are both done, you're like, wait, are you my dad? He's like, yeah, man. Oh shit. Oh shit.

It was good to see you, man. Oh wow. Oh, we looked alike. Cause just did then do any and his dad. Like, do you think if any, okay, hold on. If he did do a DP with Adriana, is that right? Yeah. Like what if his dad did show up and like as they're doing it, he's like, damn that.

That guy's dick looks just like mine. That'd be weird. Like, would you figure it out? Probably not from staring at his dick. Figure out it was my dad through his dick. Yeah. Cause for his son, would you be like, dude, that guy's dick looks just like mine. I think you'd probably be like, hey, my face looks just like yours.

Does your dick not look like your dad's dick? I don't know. Why don't you know? I don't know. I haven't seen his dick. You haven't seen your dad's dick? I mean, in passing, you know, I'm not like, hey, man, let me see it for a minute. Let me look at it.

Oh, let me put mine next to it. Let's look at our decks together. No, we don't do that. Cause I don't have my mom's vagina. I remember hers very clearly. I saw it all the time. What did it look like? So she had a fire crotch, very red hair, and it was much like meteor.

Like there was more stuff coming out of it than mine. Like mine's pretty awesomely contained. Okay. Hers? Sounds like even less of a reason why I would know it's my dad through the dick. It sounds like your mom's way different than... Yeah. I don't know, but I don't know.

Maybe dicks are different than vagines. I don't know. Do you have your dad's balls? No. No, he's got hangers. Yeah. I've seen him change from behind. I've seen his balls hang like to his knees.

He bent over and I was like, do you have pig nuts? He was like, what's that? I'm like, God, your balls are so big. Yes, big ones. I've seen them in passing. He's like, get out of here. What are you doing? Yeah.

Remember on the cruise ship when he was laying on his bed? Oh, and his balls fell out? Yeah, his balls fell out of his boxers. Yeah, his balls fell out of his boxers. And I was like, I was like, cover up. He was like, oh, come on, Sally. I think he was, what are you going to tell your mom? And I was like, okay.

I was standing right there. I was like, it's a little disrespectful. He was like, oh, shut up. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I didn't mind seeing him, though. It was like quick. And our son yesterday, our oldest yesterday, yelled at me.

What'd he say? For yelling at him. He was fucking around with his food and then he dropped it. And I was like, see? That's what you get. He dropped it on. I got a mother fucker. I got a man.

He was like, hey, he goes, don't yell at me. Talk to me like a normal person. I was like, okay. I love it. He's fired up. I love it. Yeah, he's really fired up. That's what that kid's not going to do.

He goes, you don't yell. You talk to me normal. I was like, well, you're yelling right now. He's like, be normal. I love it. This kid is great. Yeah. He's not going to take shit from nobody, dude.

No, he's not going to give fuck. He doesn't take any shit now. He's going to run this stuff. I love that. I love him. Well, this is somebody that doesn't take any shit either. This is in the back of a cab in the UK. How am I fucking you around?

I'm doing it for a set price. No, no, no. You're going over the wrong side of the bridge. Yeah? No, I'm not. No, you are. Yeah? Fucking hell.

I'm a summoner. Yeah? Mate, listen. Now shut your fucking mouth about fuck off. Fuck off. Yeah? I've done it for a set price. No, you said it at a set price.

And you're going over the fuck off into a river. Because I'm going to go through the tunnel and land the fucking thing. Why are you going over a river? Because it's the fucking right way to go. Yeah? Fucking hell. Knocked out. And that's what you get.

That's what you get. What happened? I don't understand. Well, it was English. And what happened was this guy's drunk. The passenger's drunk. Got that. He's saying we have a set price to go.

And now you're going this way over the wrong bridge. A river. And then the driver's like, I'm not going over the wrong way. Got that. This is the way to go. You've got to go this way over the bridge. And they start. It's that argument that just gets heightened.

And then at some point here he just slams on the brakes and the guy's face goes head first. That's what he did. He slammed the brakes. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he flew them off and then he knocked them out. Yeah. That's how you get a drunk guy off your fucking hands. Good.

Certainly do. I mean, Jesus Christ. That's it. End of story. That guy won't even know what happened. That guy will not know what happened. He's going to be like, what? Dropped off at the location.

Fuck. Fuck. That was fucked up. I was all faded. Dude, one of my friends, a woman told me that when she used to drink a lot. Yeah. And she lives in New York and she goes, this is one night where she's on a bender. She goes, I woke up in someone's like in a stranger's apartment with no shoes.

And I lost my purse and my wallet and everything. And I was just, I walked into an apartment. Wow. That's terrifying. Like hammered. That's really scary. I heard a podcast where these two girls were hanging out with a stranger in Louisiana. And he's like, I'm going to take you out to dinner.

Let's go drinking at the bar. And they have a great dinner. They go to one bar. They go to a second bar. The bartender makes these girls a drink. The last thing they remember is that drink. And then they wake up the next morning in a hotel room, bloody like beaten up. And they have zero recollection of what had happened.

Whoa. Yeah. This is a podcast? It's a podcast. What's the podcast? It's called This Is Actually Happening, which sounds a lot like our friend's old point. This is actually happening. Sorry, one girl wakes up in the hotel room, not both of them.

And the other one is out in the world. And so this girl wakes up with a guy that she was with the night before. And she says, let me call my friend. You know, she has to play dumb. Yeah. This is actually happening. It's a wonder. It's such a good episode.

Every episode is different. Every episode is like a different, horrifying experience. Like there are people that discuss being in comas. There are people that have personality disorders. The stories are so horrific. And I often listen to this podcast on the way home from doing studio jeans shows because it's not comedy. Oh, right.

It's the complete opposite. So I like to go into tragedy, you know? So any hoodles, she calls her friend and they piece together. They're trying to piece together the night at one point. They're by the water at one point. Like they deduced that they had been in a cab and someone had beaten them up and pushed them out of the car. It's still unsolved to this day.

Like they don't know what happened and they're severely traumatized. But but yeah, it's fucking wild. You like getting getting liquored up to that point or they think they were drugged is what happened. It sounds like they were at the bar. Yeah. So anyway, good podcast. Yeah.

All kinds of crazy stories, man. Crazy stories. Oh yeah. Anyway, good stuff. That's yeah. Yeah. And I don't like horrible things. You know how I'm a I'm averse to like murder crime.

This is a murdery, crimey. It is a little crime. That's very crimey. Yeah. It's cool. Yeah. Super dark. I like it.

Cheers me up. Peps me and puts a pep in my step and then I listen to bell house. I do. I seek out only darkness outside of comedy, you know? Yeah. I like a lot of it. I mean, I do. I literally listen to bell house usually or goth music.

I'll check out comedy every once in a while. But I just feel like we're so involved in it all the time, you know? It's hard. You know what I did like that we watched that movie with Kristen Wiig? Oh yeah. Those two when they go on vacation. What's the latest Kristen Wiig movie? We watched it in the hotel.

It was actually really funny and silly. And I loved it. Like Barb and Char go to. Yeah. Del Mar. Del Mar. It's so silly and fun. I would highly recommend this is it.

Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar. It was really funny and stupid. I only saw part of it. You were watching it. I watched the whole thing. I love Kristen Wiig. It was really silly and fun. It's a good watch.

Yeah. Really funny. Can I take a picture? Yeah, of course. And you peed. You know what I realized? Yeah. Is that my watch is still on East Coast time from when we were in Breastballs Beach on

Cinco de Mayo. That's quite a while ago. So long ago. You're just going to leave it there? Do you think I'll ever set it to be? Because we live in Central time. Right. And right now we're on the West Coast.

Yeah. And I just refuse. You know what people do though? They just they'll just change the time when they get to that time zone. Yeah. Yeah. That's what people do. Not me.

Not me. I'm sticking it out. And you know what I realized? I'm doing the math. Every day I do the math. Plus one, minus two. I don't mind. That's what I did.

Last night I got up to take a pee and I had to do the math. And I was like, oh, it's like a lab. Oh, it's not 230. It's 330. Okay. This is stupid. Fun. Fun way to live.

Yeah. That's a good time. That's a good time. That's a good time. Great oldies. I want to know if you agree with this gentleman's philosophy. It's pretty interesting philosophy. Okay.

Okay. Sure. If you have a crush on a girl and she has a boyfriend and you really like her, the right thing for you to do is to make her cheat on her boyfriend, make her fall in love with you. That's the right thing to do. Why is it the right thing to do? Because no, no, she's your girlfriend.

No. She was that. Because at first she said that and I was like, that's a pretty cool guy, you know? And then. My best friend is someone that I really, really love. This guy is a byproduct of infidelity. If it wasn't for his dad harassing and stalking what would eventually become his mother, my friend wouldn't have been born.

There you go. So that means that I am pro cheating. See now it's at first it's kind of a wild statement, but now he backs it up with something that makes sense in his world, right? Sometimes a girl is just with her boyfriend because she's lonely and they're not compatible romantically. She's miserable and she needs someone like you perhaps, someone like you. Talking to you directly.

To love her, to give her the love she deserves, to give her the life she deserves. I don't like the creepy cadence. Yeah, the whisper is definitely thrown like, I don't know why you have to talk like this. Yeah. You should love her and the love she deserves. That's fucking super creepy. And also as you've pointed out many times on the show, the choice to lay down and make a video is bold.

Yeah. It sends a distinct creepy, creepy vibes. Yeah, I'm lazy. I'm lazy and I just want to lay here and nobody looks go with their face meat like that. It's not a flattering look. He's got them serial killer glasses on. What do you think of him encouraging infidelity because that's how his friend was born? I mean, it kind of makes sense when you think of it like that.

My friend wouldn't have been born without infidelity. All people should commit infidelity because sometimes it produces a best friend. A cool friend for somebody. I mean, I'm not against this theory. Yeah, no, he's definitely right. It's always a good way to start a relationship too is to cheat on somebody else. It's always solid. And it ends well too, usually.

Always ends well. Always good. Yeah. It's totally fine. Normal. It's normal. It's healthy. It feels good too.

It's good. What do you want to have? No best friends? I like how he goes platonically just so we know that he's not GAY. The big G. Yeah. He's like, I love my friend. Not like that.

Again, how do you know? How do you know if your husband is gay straight or bi? Is he? Is my husband gay straight or bi? I mean, you have to read the book to find out a guide for women concerned about their men. Well, I can tell you how it goes. He's not.

Guys like to fuck guys. It's normal. See it all the time. All the time. I've been a straight guy my whole life and all I do is fuck other guys. You never had a moment in college when one of your straight friends, like you guys were drinking in the dorms and he was like, you know, I just want to like, I just love you. And you're like, yeah, dude, I love you too.

And he's like, wouldn't it be great if we could just give each other blow jobs just to feel it just feels better. It just feels good. Yeah. And like, we know what we're doing. Yeah, I did do that. With who? Like 10 guys.

All my friends in college. But did you know of anybody that did that? Did I know of anyone that did that? Did you know any straight guys that that fucked around with dudes? Well, not that. Oh, look at it. It's not like, oh, no, that's just crazy. Oh, is it?

No, I didn't know anybody that told the story. That's what I'm wondering. Yeah. No one told the story that I knew. No. I'm trying to think of that. Do you know any dudes that are in with wives today, normal marriages, Christians is gender the right way to live marriages, but admitted to you like, hey, there was this one time

I did. That's round. It doesn't. No, it doesn't pop into my head that anybody I'm saying, of course that happens, but I'm saying I haven't heard that story. I know. You know, I heard the story like you hear the story from the gay guy like when I came and told us about in college, this guy being like, I'm straight, but I want you know.

Yeah. I'm curious to know if anybody has a friend. Really? You guys have any friends that have like, yeah, I fucked around one time. I do not know. That they've admitted it. Right. I guess I'm not that close of a friend to them then.

My mom did a, did a your dad move and told me that Tom Cruise was gay and I thought he was gay my whole life and he just had a wife for like, you know, looks multiple lives. Oh yeah. He's had multiple wives though. Yeah. Yeah. There's been, there's been, there's always been that, that accusation for, for years. Oh.

Oh yeah. There's a, there's a whole camp of people that are like, oh, he's definitely gay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I walked around saying it like it was Bible. I'm just like, trust me.

That's one of those ones where it just depends who you say it to because there are literally people who would be like, yeah, I know, like a lot of people would say that to you and then a lot of people would just be like, you're fucking out of your mind, you know. A lot of people think he's been married three times. I know. He's got kids. He seems like something. I don't know what's going on there.

Yeah. I don't know what's going on there. I don't know what's going on there. See, yeah. He's handsome though. Mimi. Nicole Kidman. Oh, Katie Holmes.

Katie Holmes. That was the last one. That's when he jumped on the couch with Oprah. He jumped on the couch. That was so weird. It was. That was only, was it 08 to 12? Is that what it says?

Four years? 2006 to 2012. Oh, six to 12. Six years. Okay. Yeah. He's the marrying kind. Yeah.

These are all. Long term. Yeah. Well, except for the first one, Mimi was like three years. Let's hit Mimi Rogers. I don't know who that is. Yeah. Who is that?

She's like, she's all famous enough. She's pretty. She is. She's an actress and producer. That's got to be weird. Like just her now being like on a date or something. And then she's like, like, are you married? I was married before.

What was he like? Hard worker. Yeah. Real driven guy. She's on her third also. I don't understand three marriage unless you start super early. So they must have started early with the marriages. She did.

She got married at 20 the first time. That's how you do it. Yeah. I'm still thinking about Nadav's lunch yesterday. So we ordered Mediterranean food. And what did you order? It's called the Lufa. A Lafa.

A Lafa. Yeah. And it weighed as much as a newborn. It seemed like an eating challenge. That's the fucking biggest thing I swear to God. I've never seen anything like that. There's a different place that we order from where I get the Lafa. It's long, but it's thin.

It's manageable. It's still not like you're going to have leftovers for that. But I was expecting something similar in size to that. This thing required multiple settings. It was like five pounds of food. It was. No exaggeration. And you had to break it up eating it.

Yeah. I normally don't eat a lot on days that we shoot anyways. It's just kind of the way that I am. But I remember I couldn't find a bag big enough. To take it home with me. So I had to put it in a garbage bag. And only after I put it in there, I realized that it was scented. A scented garbage bag, yeah.

So now my leftover Lafa smelled like febrets. Hold on. And then you had to take it home. Hold on. Slow your roll. It was a white kitchen bag or one of those nasty black ones? No, it's one of the ones that we have over here. No, wait.

Why is the white one okay in the black one's nasty? Yeah, what's going on there? Because I associate the black one with outdoor messes. I put dog shit into those bags. Whereas the kitchen bag is like, okay, that's kind of okay for food. But it's not if it smells like febrets and lavender smells. I was a little concerned about it. I did an Instagram story and the amount of people that are like,

do not eat that. What is wrong with you? I actually knew someone that works for Clorox. One of those big corporations. And she was like, yeah, hey, I know what goes into that. You should definitely not be eating that food now. I read that message after I already ate it. Well, and there was no other container.

You should definitely not be eating that. Yeah, you couldn't find anything big enough, is what you're saying in the office. Could you put it in paper towels maybe next time? Well, it was so oily too. It would have just soaked through the paper towels. And what's in a laffa for people listening? Shawarma, hummus.

Oh, yeah, that was the other thing, is that I said we got it from homeless bar, and a lot of people heard homeless. Homeless bar. So a lot of the messages were also... It's a very popular place in Los Angeles. So a lot of the messages were also like, how much are you getting paid that you're getting food from a homeless bar?

Yeah. Well, I think we pay you enough so that you don't have to eat... You guys treat me very nice. You don't have to eat the loofa in one day. Laffa. You could... I just don't understand why he felt compelled to finish it. You can order fresh food.

What she's saying is like, why wouldn't you... Get a different meal. Just get something else. You know, I'll just raise different. You're a take-home guy, right? I'm a take-home dude. I don't believe in... I understand that nothing's ever going to taste...

Leftovers is never going to taste as good as the original meal. And especially... I was raised in a... You don't pick up a cent and you're not worth a cent type of mentality. Sure. So it's like, if you're throwing out food, it's not even like there's kids in Africa that could have eaten it. It's just like a, hey, you could eat that.

Right. You could save five, 10, 15 bucks, however much it costs. Yeah. But it's all mushy because I've eaten hummus-based products just like an hour or two after my lunch. I'll go back for seconds sometimes when I get a hummus bar. If I put hummus on a pita,

I'll come back a couple hours later and the pita is all mushy from the hummus. Was it all mushy and yucky? Well, what's cool is that this laffa was so huge that there was regions to it. There was the hummus section where all the hummus was.

And then there was the coleslaw section. And then there was the... Oh, there's just dry shawarma here. Yeah, it had different zip codes. It was wild. It was trash. I eat out of a trash bag. You literally do.

Yeah. I didn't even connect those dots. I was just like, no, it's not... I'm not eating trash. I just brought my lunch home in a trash bag. You guys don't get it. And did you get diarrhea? Well, what's cool is that I learned that you could microwave the Febreze smells

right out of whatever food he has. But are we going to still, you think, in the future bring our leftovers out of that laffa again? I know how to take it home now. In a scented Febreze trash bag. Well, yeah, because I also know that you could microwave the smell out.

So it's like there's not even a problem here. You are so nasty. What? Can I just buy you a fresh one? And why don't we get some things... Why don't we get some appropriate take-home bags just stocked here?

Or Tupperware. How elegant. To take home food. They don't work. They do, though. I got it home and I ate dinner from that trash bag. Done. I'm done.

No. Like, I would rather starve. I would rather not eat than eat half of a lunch laffa that was in a Febreze. Well, I guess that's different. Different. But I was also raised on

anything that I would complain about as a child. My dad would immediately be like he knew someone that died directly from what you're complaining about. So it's like I got... I learned to not complain. I learned to just do things.

There's someone that died of the thing I'm complaining of and I'm lucky to stay alive. Let's make some videos. I want to laugh. I want... I want to laugh at your boobs. That's what happens. I want to get horny and laugh. Most guys were like, hey, you know what?

Show me your tits. I want to laugh right now. Yeah, because horny and laughy are the same. It's like... I'm so aroused that I'm LOL-ing. It's just... You're just moving around what you want. I get it. Sneaky.

He wants to make a video that says he doesn't feel comfortable saying this. You go, I want to laugh. I'm here to have a good time. Just have a couple of giggles. I want to laugh. You don't want to laugh. You want to come.

I like the word jack. Jack off is so funny. Jack off. What about bits? Bits, are you going to say anything? We brought you on the show to fucking contribute. Look at you. I'm not going to go away on that couch.

I'm not doing a goddamn thing. She's so busy this morning. She had a real busy morning. I mean there was meetings and she had a zoom call. No, she worked out. She did exercise. She's exhausted. I've been finding whole kernels

in her brown. I'm like, where is this bitch eating corn? Like real kernels. Like a full fucking thing. In the last two days. I'm like, what the fuck are you? How is she getting corn? We're not eating corn.

I think when you stay at a hotel, you don't know what's on the floor everywhere. She's eating probably all kinds of shit that we're not aware of. I know. You walk through the lobby. I remember when I used to take Fif to comedy clubs.

French fries. And then sometimes, you're like, hey, we watch the dog and do a set and they're like, yeah. And then you get off and they're like, yeah, he's been feeding her fries. You're like, what the fuck, man? Who told you to feed the dog fries? Well, she's kept coming up to me.

Yeah, because you're feeding it fries. I used to get so afraid that Fifo would get diarrhea on the plane ride home from those clubs. I'm like, man, I mean, I've never had it happen. I had so much anxiety traveling. Oh, I hated it too. Silly.

I was just thinking, I mean, I guess I just was so lonely on the road that I wanted my buddy with me. But it was a real hassle. He never shit on the plane, never pissed on the plane. He just didn't like being left alone in the room. If I went away, he would just go crazy.

He had severe separation anxiety. Oh my God, the first time, the very first time I took him on the road, it was to San Jose. It was either San Jose or Sacramento, which was it. I think it was San Jose. And there was a UFC fight. I was working in the club,

and then Joe was like, do you want to come to the fights? And I go, yeah, and this was like, I said I can come for a few fights because then I got to go do my show. So I have Fifo, and I think I'm there with Matt Folchron. And I'm like, all right, I've never traveled.

I don't know what level. So I put him in the the breathable dog bag. You know, it's like it has his case. It's vented. Yeah, it's like a travel case. And I'm like, I'll just leave him in this this way he's like safe and contained in the room.

It's like his crate. Yeah. Because he was crate trained at the time. So, you know, as I leave the room, I hear him barking. I'm like, well, he'll be all right. You know, he's safe in there. We come back and he had torn his way out of the bag. So he just ran around the room.

I was like, oh my God, it's like all torn open. And the next time I leave, I have to go whatever to a show. I'm like, I'll put his leash on. And I'll put the like the end of it under this chair so that, you know, he can only go so far.

I put the water in the, you know, I'm out for a few hours. I come back. He had wrapped himself around the chair. And I was like, oh my God, this dog almost choked himself. He was so panic. So panic. So then that was like the first weekend.

I started taking him to, I didn't know I could take him to the club, you know. And then of course everybody would fall in love with him and want to watch him, especially with the staff. Yeah, everyone liked seeing the dog in a comedy club. It was fine. And then you leave him in the green room.

But then he would get panic sometimes when he'd hear my voice on stage. And he wanted to find me and I'd hear him barking, especially when I was screaming to the mic. I had a loud bed or something. All right. The I'm Coming Everywhere World Tour is on sale.

Yes, this is the first leg of the tour. There are many, many, many more cities to come. If you haven't yet purchased tickets, we have sold out shows. We have added shows in a number of cities. They're all at tomsegura.com slash tour. Do not get your tickets

from a third party site. Just go through my website and get tickets. And you can see all the dates that are currently on sale. There's about 50 more that will be announced in the next leg, which is probably in another month or so. Jean, you're on the road also doing a bunch of shows

in July. People can catch you at LOL in San Antonio, Texas, July 15, 16, 17. Then you're going to the Liberty Funny Bone in Ohio, July 22nd. Liberty Township. Through 24th, Columbus, August 12th through 14th at the Funny Bone

Brick Town in September the 23rd through the 25th. These are all on sale. ChristinaPeeOnline.com All right. Good job, Jean. Yeah, of course. Let's get into it.

I forgot how much I love that intro. There are so many good moments captured in that intro. So many good moments. We're not going to take it. No, we're not going to take it. We're not going to take it anymore.

Isn't this like three degrees off from Joey Diaz? Isn't he just kind of... That's Jimmy Diaz. Oh, yeah. A little bit. If this guy had just committed some crimes and smoked weed, he could be way cooler. Oh, yeah.

He's a good singer. I'll say that. They both can sing. That's a good song. What? We're not going to take it. And then he goes, we are going to take it. Didn't he get the words wrong? He goes, we're not.

And then he's like, we're going to take it. Like, no, you're not going to take it, right? You're not supposed to. We're not going to take it. No, we're not going to take it. We're not going to take it anymore. Does he have teeth on the bottom? Yeah, they're there.

They're there. He's got nice lips. Sensual. Kissable, as they say. And here's just back to the conversation. He's not even trying. He's not even trying. He's not even trying. Look how attractive you find him.

So cute. And you know what? I think he tweezes in between those brows because they should be a lot more connected. He actually has really full eyebrows. Beautiful. And a great hairline. Yeah. No.

No. What am I seeing? A cat doing the door knocker. What is that called? I don't have one of those. Ring in the doorbell, but not the doorbell. No, no, no. Yeah, it's the actual door knocker. Yeah.

Do it again. It's real. Look at that. This is officially my favorite TikTok of all time. Ever, right? Yes. So somebody DMed me that this is from

the UK. And this cat's just like, hey, may you home? Yeah. Knock, knock, knock. He's like, I'm home. Or maybe he's announcing like, hey, let me back in. Jesus. Open the fucking door. It's cold out. So let's touch on that.

So these guys are not good guard dogs. For one, wolves are very timid by nature. And to get them to come up to somebody. Would you knock it off? It takes a lot of trust, time and effort. Yeah, he's always growling.

Yeah. Now they're growling all that. Definitely scare people. His size would definitely scare people. But with these guys it's just much my job to protect them as he would need. That's just how the packs work. No.

But someone breaks into a house that has these guys, unless it's mostly dog. He's going to run and hide. Employees that come in to help me clean the enclosure. They run to the back of the enclosure and hide from them. Thus, wolves do not make good guard dogs.

Want a good guard dog? Do like I did. Get a German Shepherd. Wow. But then why have a wolf if they're not good guard dogs? Because they're cool to have around. You can let them lick your mouth. It's such a big flex.

I guess. I think that would be the coolest thing is you go to Elon Musk's house and he's like, you know I got like 15 wolves. What's his accent? He's South African. But it's also the accent has diminished quite a bit.

Yeah. I've got like 16 wolves, mate. Mmm. Yeah, so I just made I just seasoned up the gizzards now. Just used a little bit of sazon and a doble. That's it. Nothing much, you know what I'm saying? Season them up. Like I said,

sink's clean. So it's going to have a little flavor. So what I do is usually I put hot sauce on them and they taste amazing like that. So I usually fry them in oil, but we're going to see how they look. No. No. We're going to see how they look on the floor. The sink is clean with alcohol. Don't worry.

You know what, guys? I'll tell you this right now. You can get a bowl. You can buy a bowl. You can't buy a bowl. If you bought the food and the seasoning, you can buy a fucking bowl. Yeah. They both knew because they're like, this is in the sink.

So for those of you just listening, this man is making a dobo, right? A dobo? Filipino, yeah. Chicken with gizzards. And he's putting them in his bathroom sink. To season them. To marinate them in there. But then he's also putting his hand in there,

which you can do when you're prepping. And he's mushing it around the bathroom sink. Like, this is how I marinate the meat. Like, marinate the meat. Yeah, so I just seasoned up the gizzards now. Just a little bit of sazon and a dobo. That's it. Nothing much. You know what I'm saying? Season them up.

Like I said, sink's clean. That's what he knew when the sink's clean. All right, sink's clean. Then the next guy was like, it's definitely clean. I know what you guys are thinking. Yeah, dude, you fucking trim your beard and you spit toothpaste. Yeah, and there's also, you know,

hairspray is everywhere product. That is not where to prep. It's not where you prep the product. What are you doing, man? I mean, you could also use a paper plate. You could have used anything. You don't have to have like a prepping cook like bowl, like a tin.

You could just be like, here's a cereal bowl. Anything, dude. Don't you lie to me. I just, for some reason, I imagine they're in New York. This to me is such a New York thing to see. Could be. This guy's out of his fucking mind.

He's seasoning a dobo in his fucking sink. Clean the alcohol, don't tell anyone where to buy it. Would you eat it though, after it's cooked? Listen, because I should just delicious. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, I would do. Probably. I mean, but I wouldn't like, if I'm sitting there watching him do this, I'd be like, I don't want to eat this.

I don't want to stay for eating. After he made it, he'd be like, you don't want to try it by? I'd be like, I'll try it by. It's like when Anthony Bourdain would go to these places. Oh my God. And this poor, I remember watching an episode where he was using Eritrea and they eat rat.

And I remember this like really rural, rural, rural area. And the woman was preparing his rat for him, like in the fire, on a stick and him just being like, this is great. Like, how do you sell that every episode? Like, oh, thank you.

Delicious rat. Like, it's not, it can't be good. Yeah. It's greasy meat. I've heard squirrel is greasy. Yeah. Rat can't be that. A lot of those things I don't want to eat. I know. A lot. Thank you. I'm half cherry candy and I'm half

Irish and I'm half country boy. That's three halves. That's right. I'm half city boy right now. Hey, come here. That's it. That's the end. Well, he usually does his videos with a confederate flag

behind him. So this is a different one for him. But I too was curious about his math. You picked up on it pretty quick. Yeah, I can do halves pretty well. I always know there's two. Either I'm half this, I'm half that, I'm half that other thing.

He's three halves. And then he ended with, hey, come here. That was the end of his video. Really good TikToks today. Really good job. Thank you. I like when you approve of them. I mean, how could you not approve of this? Top notch stuff. I'm half, half,

and half. I'm half, half, and half. Hey, come here shut the door. He's putting videos up. People are out of their minds. Out of their minds. His whole thing too is like, he tries to get ladies. You know, they all do like, hey, I'm just this other boy.

I like girls. My favorite lane of talk is I'm home and I'm all alone. Ladies, you want to hit me up? Hit me up. It's a great TikTok, man. That's great. And then I hope

y'all having a good day. I'm having a good day too. So you have a good day too. There's a lot of those. Okay. That's all you got from me, dude? I just want to let you know, I'm going to kick your teeth into your skull once I get done with you in the wrestling

match and when I kick you, when I kick your skull in for the championship and you know, your teeth will be rallying and so will your mouth. Case closed buddy. There's a lot going on here. I don't know if this is just a, you know,

some big talk. You know what I mean? Big talk. That's talking. For like a pretend match or if this dude really wants to kick some of his teeth because it sounds pretty real and then you don't know where he's looking either so it's really like

you know. It so reminds me of those old Bugs Bunny cartoons. This dude's got powder eyes. Powder eyes. I'm looking here, I'm looking there. One eye goes this way, one eye goes that way. What do you want from me? Doesn't this remind you of those old Bugs Bunny

cartoons where the guy's eyes are like that and then a mule comes and kicks him in the head and then it makes him go right? I think you have to tell him exactly where to kick to kick someone's teeth and you have to be like okay, do you know where your right foot is? All right, just stay right there and take a kick

and there's a face right there. There's no way he's just finding you and kicking your teeth in. Does he see double? He might be into multiples of double here. Might see fours. I'm going to kick your teeth in. What is that? Is that called

wall-eyed? When one eye goes this way and one eye goes that way. You know what? He might have been kicked in the teeth in the head a few times and then his eyes started going ping-pong. Yeah. Bing-pong.

Yeah. And that's what a kid has. His eyes don't focus together. Okay. As a result, the brain might see two different images. Double vision. That sucks. Yeah, he's got all kinds of different visions going on. And then there's a mannequin

throwing up gang signs behind him. I don't know what the fuck that is. That's a wrestler. What? It's a wrestler. A wrestler type of You know? That mannequin with the ladies hands behind him. Yeah, because he's talking about wrestling and it's got like a band,

like a whatever on the arm. Okay, sure. Get it, bro. Go kick that guy's teeth in. Yeah. Did you hear the fart? I hate this account. You keep

It's so terrible. You guys are just open your heart and your arms. It's so revolting. Why don't you just open your mind? Open your heart, your arms. To me. Julia. Julia. I just enjoy this guy.

I like his whole vibe. So this is the type of guy you get. Yeah. Pretty cool. This is absolutely disgusting. This guy's hard to I like to fucking That's because you do that too. It's hard when you look into a mirror, Tom.

You know how many times you've done that to me as a joke where you're like You do it all the time. I've never done that. Yes, you do. You do this game. Not exactly. No two snowflakes are the same. But you do your version of this thing.

You're like And then you fart all the time. Okay. I don't think so. Actually, I can't remember the last time I farted in front of you. Man, it was just yesterday with the kids in the bed. It was in the morning. I remember that.

And we were watching cartoons and then you ripped one and they all started laughing. Well, I did that for my children. Yeah. You heard my fart on the toilet. Is that this morning? Yes. This is a big one. Not attractive.

Not appealing. Didn't enjoy. Not a fan. You're stuck with it. You're married. True. Too bad, shits. All right. We're going to close on a song that was sent in. It's called All Get Off Extra Champagne Remix

and it is by, can you tell who it's by? I can't see it. In the thing here. Do you know who actually Oh my gosh. Made this. I'd like to give them credit. Notes floats. Notes floats.

All right. Notes floats. Get off the extra champagne remix. Thank you all for listening and watching. Happy born day. Thank you. Make sure you send a happy 58th born day message to Christina P. You're super old and you're just getting older.

I am. It's scary. But you're aging like fine wine. You look very lovely. Happy birthday. Hope you have a great weekend full of 19 DPs. You got it. Me and my dad are going to get in there. Happy birthday. Get off.

So. Oh, Ah. So. Get off. So. Come on. Ah.

So. Get off. So. Get off. Ah. Come on. Come on. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Get off. Ah. So. Get off. Ah. So.

Get off. Ah. Get off. Ah. Ah. Get off. So. Get off.

Ah. So. Come on. Oh. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on. Oh. Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh.