Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 610 - Ian Bagg - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

SPONSORS: - Try BlueChew FREE when you go to https://BlueChew.com and use our promo code MOM at checkout, just pay $5 shipping. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “Yourmom” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Head to https://squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Go to https://creditkarma.com/winmoney to sign up for free and start winning Instant Karma! - Go to https://ForHims.com/mom and get your first visit absolutely free! - Go to https://www.blackriflecoffee.com/MOM and use code: MOM at checkout for 20% off your purchase and your first coffee club order! LIVE LIFE 365!! Today on Your Mom's House, Christina P joins the show from home because of her ankle injury. Her and Tom Segura talk about how she injured her ankle, and give an update on how recovery is going. After that, comedian Ian Bagg stops by to talk about Canadian tendencies, doing a gig after getting injured and hotel shower doors. Then, Tom introduces Ian to YMH All-Star Unkle Shine, and informs him of the unique way Enny makes brown. Next, Tom shows Ian some "Horrible or Hilarious" videos which include a guy jumping off a roof, a couple falling from a balcony and someone belly flopping. Last, Tom plays some of Christina's latest TikTok curations, and Ian talks about his new true crime after show to the "Sword and Scale" podcast.

Yeah, my dad's got one ball. He had testicular cancer? No, one didn't drop. Really? Yes. But is it a full-size bag? I have never looked at it. Can I see your bag just real quick?

Can I hold your bag? That's a great game show for me. Can I hold your bag? Came back and you came out of it is when... What happened on your trip? So I had like, I had a Pac-Man. It was like I was in the video game Pac-Man and there was geometric shapes

and it was all yellow and black and white. And I had these glorious visions of our family and how much I loved you. Well, we should add that our oldest, Ellis, is obsessed with Pac-Man. So like that's all that's been talked about in our house for weeks. He wakes up in the morning.

He's like, what if Pac-Man were to eat a ghost that was like huge and you're like, what the fuck? Like all day. He's just asking you the hypothetical Pac-Man scenarios all day. He's like, can I get like a Pac-Man toy or something, man? I'm like, yeah, okay, sure, man. It's all Pac-Man.

So the whole time I'm tripping balls and I'm having these like great visions and the spiritual awakening about motherhood and my mother and the nature of life. And I wake up and I'm in tears. I'm so ecstatically happy and I'm holding your hand. And I'm like, babe, I love you so much. I'm like, thank you for giving me our sons.

I love you. I love Pac-Man. It's like out of my fucking mind. You were very emotional. You were like, you're like, I saw our children and you. And then you go and Pac-Man was there. I was like, okay. Even the doctor was like, so you're into Pac-Man, huh?

Yeah. By the way, the hospital was the only place that didn't question stair falling. They were like, oh, they're like, what happened when she fell down the stairs? And they're like, oh yeah, that happens all the time. People fall down the stairs. They're like, that's all we see

is people that fall down stairs. And they were like, even if she didn't fall, we get it. You know? I was like, yeah, I know what you mean, man. But they were nice because they were like, we don't normally see nice people like you. Remember the guy was like, you see like homeless people, they don't thank us.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. I didn't tell you the guy, the nurse, when I was on ketamine, he goes, you were so cute when you were having your trip. He's like, you were just laying there like this smiling. He goes, most people have their eyes open

and are terrified and screaming. And I was like, why do they give, I go, well, why do you give the shit to people? Yeah, because you disassociate. Yeah, we don't want you to remember it or whatever else. They disassociate with the ketamine and then they give you the propofol for the pain. And he's like, you won't remember

that we put your bone back in a joint. Yeah. You get that when this happened to you, right? They didn't give you anything or did they? Well, mine was a little different because they didn't give me anything for, they gave me a lot of pain. So they didn't have me disassociate

for resetting anything. Cause it really wasn't, you know, they just set the arm kind of temporarily. And then they're like, we're just going to operate, you know? So yeah, before operation, they just, you know, obviously just put me out. Yeah. Although I do, I do love, I do love that sleep,

that surgery sleep when they're like, we're putting you under them. Like I will see you in the PM brother. Yeah. It's good. The only thing that's not cool is when you wake up out of surgery and then they're like, here, eat some crackers.

You ready to get on crutches? Let me show you how to use crutches. And I've got this boot. And I'm like, dude, I'm going to throw up. First of all, you're so crazy. It's so crazy. You're out of it. And they're like, we're going to teach you

how to walk on sticks right now. It's like deja vu though, right? Cause you know, I'm, so I'm six months post injury and surgery. I'm, I still have, you know, things that like I have, I'm doing much better, right? So I'm, I'm, I'm up and about. I can live a pretty normal life, but I still have rehab things to do.

I still have things that need to improve in both the leg and the arm. But it's like, I'm back there and I'm seeing her from like stage one. And then the PTs come in like, here's how you use crutches. Here's, I'm like, oh man, this is all right back. The good thing was that nothing fazed me. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then we get home and I was just like, I was just like nurse Tom immediately, right? Just like, I was like, let's elevate you. Let's put ice here. What do you need on your bedside? Like get this all. Here's your meds. This is when you take it.

And you know, it all felt like, I feel like if it would have been at it, I would have been like, I don't know what to do, but now it just feels totally normal. I might open a second business. You were the best nurse, I have to say, the absolute best nurse. And I think watching you go through this really prepared me

and yours, your experience was so much more horrendous because your care was so bad too. Like you had such a bad experience that I really think that having watched you go through it is what kept me calm and chill and why I'm in such good spirits now. Did you know how much worse it can be? Yeah, and I have so much more sympathy

for what you went through. And like, I can't even imagine breaking my arm and my leg at the same time. Like I get to ride around on my scoot-scoot, which is like changing my life right now. You didn't even get a scoot-scoot. You couldn't even take a shit, you know, by yourself. See, overall becoming, like now you also understand

like the, at least partially like the emotional ride too, right, and like how it's so, you end up being filled with gratitude and it's humbling and it's eye-awake opening and you look at life differently. And you might even come out of this like wanting to eat my scrum, you know? I don't think I'm having the same experience as you.

I think I'm really just enjoying the rest and being pampered and all in all, it's been a pretty positive experience for me. So, can I tell you the one advantage you got? What? One, the only advantage you had over my injuries with your injuries, the only thing is that you got to piss in bed.

Yeah. That's the only thing that bums me out is I have to put the boot on, get on my scoot-scooter crutches and then go up, that sucks. And all you do is pound fluid. No. All day, you're just like,

especially when you're at first the moment, like you're in bed, you're just sitting there, you're just like a gallon of water. So, yeah, holding that urinal, you just sit there and piss and yeah, that was great. But I would also, don't forget, I would spill piss on myself and that would be a whole thing.

And they'd be like, oh, I got to change everything. You just pissed all over the bed. You know, what I think about too is when you're like, when people are like 420, I can get high now. Like so many people to me have been like, at least you get those awesome drugs, at least you get those drugs. And I'm like, yeah, but I'd rather walk

than take awesome drugs. Yeah, that was my favorite too, is when people were like, yeah, but you made money on that New Year's live show of your injury. I'm like, oh yeah? Do you want me to sign you up? I'll break your fucking arm in half and snap your,

and then I'll give you a check. Does that sound fun? Not worth it, guys. Dude, the money's not worth it, bro. No. No, of course not. I'd rather have my body attacked and not get high on hydrocodone.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you got pills? That's worth it. What? Well, I was scared when they prescribed me oxy, oxycodone. Oh my God, I know. You're so, like, it's so funny to hear, like you're such like a nervous Nancy.

You're like, am I gonna be on the streets if I take one of these just addicted? No, cause I'm afraid of like, I don't want to get addicted to them, you know? I know. It's fine, I just drink whiskey. It's good. So wait, I'll say it hasn't been long,

but you've progressed amazingly in a really short period of time. So now you are, you know, you're moving around. Like, you know, the first couple of days I would walk with you every time you stood up, whether to the bathroom, anywhere you wanted to go. I just walked with you. You're, you use your crutches on your own,

you use your scoot scoot on your own. You're doing a lot of things in the house. Like, are you feeling better? Yeah, much better. Cause I had surgery on Monday, but yeah, right? Yeah. Monday, it's been exactly one week. And I'm starting to like, I get tired really easily.

Like after this, I'll fucking crash for sure. Sure. Scoot scoot is just giving me life. I don't want to show you guys now cause I want to, I want to properly decorate it and stuff. And then I'll reveal my scoot scoot. That thing is so great. And it's just, yeah, I feel better.

I'm happy. I'm chill with my kids, man. Doesn't get any better, you know? Good. Watching me, I'm hashtag blessed. I'm all good. It's all good for now. Well, I'm, I'm, I'm glad that you're recovering well.

And, you know, it's a, it was another huge surprise, but, you know, we'll push through it. And I'm glad you're, you're doing well. I'm glad I was there. I'm glad I was home and not on the road. That would have been, that would have been some shit. You'd have to. Oh, what'd I've done?

You'd have been yelling to Ellis. You'd have been like, give me a phone. And then. Dramatizing him. Yeah. And he'd be like, Mom, don't give up. Stand up. And then you'd fall down on your face.

I'm like, see, I told you, it's fucking spray. He saw me losing my shit playing a game in an arcade. And he was like, don't give up. Like coaching me. I was like, all right, man. All right. Well, I wish you were here, Gene. Get some rest.

I just wanted to catch everybody up with what happened with you. So love you. Yes. I want to thank all the genes for all their lovely messages. I really appreciate you guys and I'll check in later. Oh, all right. I got to go.

Show me that you like me. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Love you. Bye. Bye, Gene.

There you have it. Bye, Gene. There you have it. The full story of how it happened, how she got hurt, the incredible medical care in Austin, Texas. And of course, now I'm certain that I'm on a watch list for violent individuals in the area. It's real exciting.

But there it is. Crazy story. I'm glad she could zoom in for that. And hopefully she'll be joining us, at least via Zoom. We're trying to get a little higher grade set up going for her there. She'll be able to do some more zooming in in the future episodes here.

Yeah, so that's that. And thank you, Christina, for zooming in. And now I'm super happy that we'll be right back in a moment with one of our all-time favorite guests, Ian Back. We're happy to welcome back one of our all-time favorite guests, an extremely funty, funty or funny gentleman that you can see live

at the Ontario Improv, July 1st through the 3rd. It's Ian Back. Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. Funty. Funty, funty. Funty, funty. You wanted to call me cunty. I did, I wanted to call you cunty.

Our all-time cunty guest. Our all-time cunty guest, man, I, uh. Thank God you almost killed Christina so we can do this on camera. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She was bringing this show down. Oh, man, she never shuts the fuck up. Now she does.

She learned her lesson. I can't believe you had to have a stairwell built to kill her. I know, I know. That's awesome. Dude, it could have been like, if we had had one of those like crazy stairwells, like. Right. Like this has turns in it.

It could have been like a straight down, like 25 stairs. If you guys had been poor, imagine if you had been poor, she would have just slid right all the way down, but because you're so rich, you can have corners. Ah, fuck. I kind of, it's the only time I wish I was poor, you know? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Take her off, take her down.

She's awesome. That's crazy that you've both been hurt with it. Within six months. Six months, six months, dude. How about the fact how quick you've healed in six months? I know, I know, it's amazing progress. I just saw my, I just saw my PT and she was just like, this is remarkable progress.

Dude, at 10 years ago, I don't think you would have healed, they would have had you healed as quick. I'm not saying, I'm not saying new physically, just technology. I'm sure, like, I know I got, amazing care, you know? Amazing surgeon, amazing PT, yeah, I just like that. And then watching what happened to her,

cause like now I feel like I'm a trauma specialist, just seeing like it just kind of come together and then they're like, yep, you're in surgery, you're home. And she's just like working at it already. I like to see if she heals the same quickness as you. You're just gonna have a challenge. Come on, do your PT, get at it. Oh yeah, cause my PT was pretty.

Pretty brutal. Yeah, I mean, she's awesome, but she doesn't like take it easy on you. So I adapted that a little bit. So like I really babied her the first couple of days, but now I'm just kind of like, all right. I had surgery, you both had surgery, it's crazy. I know, the first few days you gotta be real gentle

with someone, but after they're like, once you see someone do some stuff on their own, then you're like, oh, you're good. You're on your own, yeah. I broke my ankle probably five years ago. Hockey? No, mountain biking in Pennsylvania. It started raining and I was on grass

and I just flew off a cliff and I was by myself and I broke my ankle and I'm just like lying there and I'm like, I had to finish the ride. I had to get myself back to the bottom of the thing on a broken ankle. How'd you do that? I just cried the whole way, like a complete pus. How much pain?

Oh, so much pain. And then I had a show that night and I went and did the show and then I went to the hospital. No. Yes, I was lucky I got away with not having surgery. Dude. Yeah.

You did a show on that? Yeah, yeah, like on one leg, just like leaning on one leg. And when I was in the hospital, they had a guy come in from the prison, you know, like he's in an orange jumpsuit and I'm like, it's a little town. I'm like, oh, this is where it all goes down.

I can't get away. So what did they do? Did you go get it set? They just set it? They set it, they're set it. I was fine. I had to fly back. Yeah.

You flew on it as well? Yeah, I flew back. Were they a little worried about my thoughts? Well, yeah, I got off in Houston. It was a different color. So I got off in Houston, went to the hospital and I remember, yeah. I remember the doctor saying-

Are you from the any school of medicine? Well, they didn't tell me not to fly. They didn't say, I said, I had to go back. They didn't say, oh, it'll be a couple of days before you fly. And I'm like, yeah. And I said, okay. So I tried to keep it elevated.

I go to the hospital and the doctor's a complete douche. He goes, I'm concerned about your blood pressure. That's what he says. I'm like, my leg is blue. And I'm like, you're concerned about my blood pressure. Any chance it might be up because maybe I'm freaking out if my fucking, my coverage covers this hospital

because I don't know where I am. And he's just like, oh, that might be you. It might be stressed. I'm like, oh, there's nothing. Yeah, check my cortisol levels real quick. Jesus Christ. So then what did they do with that? Did they-

No, they said I was fine and they put me back on a plane. Holy shit, Ian. Then I got home. Did it make you think about how fucked this country is with our healthcare? Well, yes. And also it makes you feel like there's a complete,

you're a mess. You're like, oh, what will I do ever again? Like you must have freaked out. Will I ever be normal again? Oh, yeah. Because you were a disaster. Total disaster. Yeah.

Yeah, you start, because people are immediately they're like, I don't think you're going to play basketball. You're like, basketball, I'm talking about why you ever take the stairs again. Yeah. Like, yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah.

And then you start taking, you know, for me because of hand stuff, at first I couldn't even reach for something. No finger banging. You can't finger anyone. You couldn't finger a nurse. Couldn't do anything. You know?

Yeah. She was like, can you try? And I was like, I'm trying, but I keep bumping up against you. Your closed puss with my fist. I can fist you. Closed puss. I can fist you.

Yes. Yeah. Well, there's your first problem. I don't know if anybody's written that down at home. Make sure the puss is open before you're trying to finger it. Open the puss and you're going to finger it. Yeah. Yeah.

Never the close one. Especially like if you're talking about someone who just had a stroke, open your puss up for him. You know? Yes. Yes. Help them out. Help them out.

Help them out. Don't be a dick. Don't be a dick. That's a good impression. That's a pretty good one. Don't be a dick. Oh my God, I'm pretty sure. You guys maybe sound special needs every time I'm coming.

Are we going to have the Tourette's kid come back? That's what I feel. I got a fun Canadian thing to show you. Oh, good. I saw this today. I was like, oh, this is in the bank? We got to show this to Ian. Yes, absolutely.

This is phenomenal. He's giving me a ticket for stunting because he heard me yelling at someone on my phone. And then I fingered him on the way out of there and told him to mind his business and he's pulling me over for stunting again. I feel like driving away and starting a high-speed chase. This is over-policing.

Yes, sir, sir, sir. Just let me put you on hold for one second, OK? Fuck this guy. There I am on the phone with your fucking boss, you dick. First of all, this shit would never fly here. That's the part that I'm like, oh my God. Well, just the jean shorts wouldn't fly here. Take a look at that.

Oh, the three-quarter length jean shorts. Oh, Canadian right there. It gets better. Oh my God. There's another officer on the way to talk to you, OK? Yeah, this guy can fuck right off. And if I stick it, he can shove up his fucking ass. Yeah.

You can stay on the phone with me until the other officer gets here to defuse the situation. I no longer feel safe because of the little bitch behind me. Defuse? Defuse you? Oh my God. That's why you don't let a guy be killed. I was at a complete stop when we were leaving him

pulling us over. And complete stop and I fingered him and heard his feelings again. Well, fuck him and his feelings. Oh, wow. It's not illegal to finger a police officer. It's not illegal to call them a fucking fag. That is awesome.

And I'm crumpling up his ticket. You hear that? See your ticket? You fuck crumpled up and throw it on the ground, but you'd give me a fucking ticket for littering. Fuck you. That's how it works. Oh, God.

Sorry. It's not at you at all. You've been very professional and stuff. That little worm behind me deserves a fucking foot in the ass. Oh, man. Does this end well? Nope.

No. It goes south. Do a bunch more gots. I end up showing up. It's going to get really real for him in a moment here. OK, here. Hold on. I'm waiting for your boss to call me.

Fuck off and get in your car. You're a fucking little bitch. Give me my ticket and go fuck yourself. Go fuck fucking fuck you. Fuck off, you bitch. Oh, God. What the hell? You're a fucking clown.

He's got his gun on me now. The officer has his gun on me now. Listen to him. He's fucking hitting my fucking truck now. And I'm saying, bring him right away, though. Holy fuck, get him in right here. Get him in right here. Come on, take him, take him.

Send somebody now, please. He's got his gun on my husband. He's tripping balls. Help me. Help me. Help me, holy fuck. Help me. What are you doing?

That's it. That was Canadian violence there. Who helped me? Help me. Hold me, help me. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. I'm pretty sure that's my hometown.

It's not illegal to call him a fucking fag. I'm going to be honest with you. It's right in the rulebook on Canada. So that says right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is illegal. It's not illegal. It's not illegal.

That's the first move you're supposed to make in Canada right there. Holy shit. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. You think that is that BC, you think? Yeah, I think that's the BC. Maybe like Manitoba.

You look at that. Just look at that gravel on top of pavement. That's Canada, right? That's springtime Canada. Get my three-quarter jeans. We're going out. It's cold, but it's warm. Like just the balls to lay in, like a cop like that,

because you were inconvenienced by the ticket or something. He's going to get a lot more tickets. There's so many places, like I think of here, where they would be like, oh, someone's just going to come hit you in the head with a baton right now, sir. I like he just called. He said, I called your boss.

Yeah, yeah. No, that's 9-1-1. You're talking to a 9-1-1 operator. You're talking to a 9-1 operator. Oh, man, he would have been shot for sure. For sure. Absolutely. It doesn't matter what color he is.

He would have just taken four shots. Well, if he were black, he would have just been like, hey, I want to talk to you about this. And then they would just want to kill him. Yeah. He wouldn't have got words out of him in black. No, no, no, that's an over. That's crazy.

And his truck. Oh, my god, his truck. I remember one time I got fired up about TSA. And the guy in front of me was like, hey, man, you don't want to cause any trouble here. And I was like, yeah, I do. And then he's like, no, you don't. He was like, no, no, you don't.

And I was like, yeah, I do. Fuck this guy. So it was actually that I think I was flying from Canada to the US. And I got into, I think I flew WestJet. And I upgraded. But I paid for an upgrade at the airport. But their upgrade isn't considered business or first.

So I'm like, so what are you upgrading to? Nothing. They're like, nothing. But you just upgraded. So I got in the line thinking I was in first or business. And the security agent was like, what are you doing in this line? But trying to make a send a message to me in front of people. You can't see your ticket.

You're in the wrong line. So I was like, OK, fuckhead. So I went over to that guy. Yeah. I was like, this guy, I went over to his to the superior officer and I go that pig over there thinks that they can talk to me like this. Why don't you talk to that fucking pig? And I got like real loud.

And they were like, look, I'm sorry that they disrespected you. But there's no need for you to. And I was like, oh, no, there is now. Like now there is. And then I got like more and more fired up. You damn Americans. I know. And then they were like, and then when one of them was like kind of like looked at one of the police officers, I was like, I'll get my shit.

Oh, Canadian cops are good to tow a certain point. And then yeah, and then they like I remember I got pulled over when I was sixteen and they gave me a ticket for erratic driving. But it looked like erotic driving. And the cops said, you know what this is for? And I said erotic driving like, fuck you. You think this is a game? This is about people's lives.

But it's still erotic. I'm like, yeah, you drive. You you write like a doctor. I can't understand what like how much penicillin am I getting for this? And then boom, no, it was not happy at all. Not happy. You know, it's funny. I guarantee you that guy knows that cop.

You think so? Yeah. And he hates he hates them personally. He's been pulled over before by him. He's seen him around town. Yeah. You know, it's not a big town if you look at it. Sure. Yeah, it doesn't feel. It doesn't feel like Toronto.

No, it's not Toronto. It's definitely not. Oh, man. Most of my cop interactions, though, I always go with the yes, sir. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like these people who are like, sorry, you know, I like to cite penal code to the cops. I'm like, you're fucking crazy.

I see those on Tik Tok and I'm like, I'm like, what are you doing? You can't I'm not rolling down my window. Yeah, you can't do this. Oh, they roll it down for you. I've seen the that guy rolled it down for him. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that, too, where the like a cop's like, what are you, what are you filming and what are you filming for?

And the person's like, I don't have to answer that. And the cops like, OK, he's like, but like, so he's like, this is I'm allowed to stand here in the cops. Like, all right, he's like, I and I can film what I want. And the cops like, OK, I was just asking. I didn't know, like what I was just asking. I didn't know if you needed me to dance or not. Yeah, yeah, people get cops get some weird stuff.

You feel bad for them. Yeah. And then there's the cops that deal with it well. And then there's the other cop and I don't have to answer anything. And then that cop is the exact same person as that cop that's being yelled at. Yeah. You know, I think that made sense. Does that make sense at all? I don't know what you said. But I feel like I like that you agreed. I do that a lot.

Oh, you know, when people people are when people like talking in a way that I don't get, I'll be like, yeah, no, I'm with you. You're such a dick. You're such a dick. You're I thought I was making sense and you've been looking at me the whole time. All right, we're going to redo this. We're going to edit so he looks like a complete fool like you, Tommy. I don't even know why I come here.

You live in Texas. I live in Texas. I do. You know, my favorite part about the Texas. You guys all move in the Texas. Is what have you been to the improv at all? The Melrose improv. No, so they have a stairwell that goes up to a green room now on the inside of the improv. Yeah. And I was told that they built that

because Joe Rogan said you should have a stairwell for comics to go like me down to the down the stage. So they built a stairwell for Joe. Oh, yeah, so he won't he won't be in that. No, I call it the Joe Rogan stairwell. That's pretty funny. Yeah, so there's a stairwell that goes to the stage. Yeah, it goes from that upstairs green room.

Yeah, stage. I did not know that inside. You should get out every once in a while when you're not judging people's weird way of talking. What an asshole. I don't even know why I come here anymore. Christine has been murdered. She hasn't said shit this year. She's gotten so much better.

Yeah, she has. Just mouth open, nothing coming out. Perfect. I miss her. You bred her too much. That's the problem. Yeah. Yeah, you just keep putting babies inside her. I'm done.

You're done. I'm done. You're going to go back to finger begging. I think so. Good for you. Yeah. You want kids? No. You can't breed this. This is the end of the line right here. This is the end of the line.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my parents should have stopped. They are too, right? Yeah, too. Too wrong kids. Too wrong kids. Yeah, yeah. My sister's a union rep for teachers. Oh, really?

Yeah. In Canada? Yeah, she's been voted in. My sister's in politics, and then I say Unitard. That's I say that. So no, you're in trouble. Do your parents come to your shows? Sometimes. Do they like it?

My dad is kind of like the rolls his eyes. Because yeah, I bring up his one ball a lot. So really? Yeah, my dad's got one ball. He had testicular cancer. No, one didn't drop. Really? Yes. But is it a full size bag?

I have never looked at it. Can you ask him? I'll ask him. I'll send him up. Hey, dad, get a picture of your bag. I'll get it. That'd be great. Just put a picture of a bag up.

Can I see your bag? Just real quick. Can I hold your bag? That's a great game show for me. Can I hold your bag? Double G. Double G. Double G. And it's all about purses.

Yeah. But people think we're going after their sack. Have you heard this? Yes. You know Bill Nye, the science guy? Uh-huh. That he's got a big dick? No, but I'm not surprised.

Why are you not surprised? Because you can't talk like that. Like, you know everything and have a little weenie. Yeah. You've got to have a huge cock. That's big dick energy. Yeah, that's right there. Yeah, like Tyson, that Neil Tyson, McGraws.

What's that? He's got a big one, too. Neil Tyson? Yeah, you can feel it, right? Yeah, probably. He wrestled, which I don't know. I just feel like the combination of wrestling, all that knowledge, the confidence to tell everybody

you got it wrong. Yeah, that's a big dick. Or a huge sack with a little weenie. Yeah. That's one of the two. Look at this. You just Google it, and people are like, Bill Nye's big dick theory.

What does that even mean? Is there any more than that? No. I'm trying to. OK. I'm trying to find a boat. Is my best over here? He's crushed.

He's crushed. Where did you hear that? Like, where did you hear that? I don't know. Someone started talking like Christina was like, oh, one of her friends. I don't know. Said that it's a known thing.

I'm like, it's a known thing. One of her friends? And then look, there's Bill Nye and Neil with their big dick post. Right after a gang. They're like, yeah. They finish a quantum physics speech, and they're like, you want to see our big dick?

Come back here. I'll show you about gravity. You think I don't know what I'm talking about? Look at my dick. Oh, that's good. That's good times. I don't know if that's true or not. I don't know.

Well, I think so. Don't you think all the kids on Big Bang Theory were packing, too? You think so? They look like it. Do you remember seeing your first big dick in what year? How old were you? I was the third grade.

Locker room? Was it? No. I was peeing next to Walter Almeida, and he was huge and not circumcised. And I was just like, what is that? And it was just like, what? And I just remember going home and just being

disappointed in life. I'm like, first of all, Walter's got extra meat on top of his meat, so I didn't understand. Yeah. I remember that we used to swim so much, so we were always at this swim club, like rec place. Sounds like you were raised poor. Yeah.

And we were at this locker room there. Yeah. Excuse me. And yeah, I saw a kid change. Who was not my age? He was definitely older, but he had hair and a floppy dick. And I was like, what the fuck, man? And I felt, I was like, when does it happen to me?

When does it happen? I'm pretty sure that's why he was in there, because he wanted it to happen to you. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that wasn't a kid. I think that was a molester. Well, he made us all touch it. You guys want to feel it?

Yeah. We were like, does this make you swim faster? And he's like, yeah, yeah. Is it like a rudder? You just tuck it back and you hold it, and you can go in any direction you want to go. The pool was always the weirdest freaks, just this old man hanging out there for no reason

when you're a kid, and you're just like, why? Yeah, and basically, we talk about this how you go to, let's say on vacation, you go to a pool at a hotel or a beach. You know, you're basically next to everybody naked. Right. It's just different cloth than panties. That's all it is.

And then, yeah. You're naked. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you would lay next to a woman in a bikini, if she were to go up to her room and just put on bra and panties, you'd be like, hey, what are you doing? I guarantee you half of them are in bra and panties

because I forgot to put in their bathing suits. For sure. Yeah. Women are disgusting. We're just trying to get through life. Look at it, the mouth is open, just. You dirty bitch. Fiddles.

Fiddles. My god. So you know that we have found like the coolest guys ever on this show, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Quite the show. So.

Have you had my I told you guys about the about the guys from Spitting Chicklets? Have you had them on the show yet? No. You've got to have the guys from Spitting Chicklets on the show. Really? Yeah. They're the funniest guys out there.

They talk about hockey. You'll be confused. But they're Canadian. They'll say those words. Well, one of them is Canadian. One's from Boston. You'll have a great time with them. It's so funny.

Well, there's a guy who we. I just got shut down. No, no, no. It's like whatever bag. No, I didn't want. You're not booking the show. Just shut up and answer your questions for the first time you see the big slang.

No, I just know that when you mention a guest that they're taking note of it. No, they're not. Nobody I've seen everybody's eyes roll around. I'm like, have you guys heard about these fantastic people? You guys like shut up. That's what he does. So he that's that's why I need.

We're going to show you a poop video. Shut up. Oh, I have such high hopes every time I come in the door. And then it turns into this. You guys just to your term. Oh, Ian, we have a lot of different levels on our stairwell. People can get hurt and she shut up. So there's this guy that his name is Uncle Shine.

Uncle Shine. Yes, Uncle Shine. OK. And the the first time we found him, it was from this this specific video that I'm going to show you. All right, here we go. Oh, hold on. It's it's muted, of course.

You feel me? Hold on. This let me eat you one time. This let me eat you one time. And you're going to guarantee you. You're going to you're going to ask me to stay to your house. You're going to you're going to sleep for three days, my baby. So he was going to tell us there are snakes on the plane.

So he wants to eat you and he wants to, you know, he he's very sexual in nature, but he's charming. And guess what? I can show you what time it is. Sure enough, I tell you, they got a man up above. I could cook for you, clean up your house. You heard me? Listen, when you come home, baby, you just got to jump in jump, jump in the tub

with all the bubbles. OK, because he doesn't want you to smell it. Guess what? I'm with you a hundred percent. Get with that ball. I'm going to show you. I'm going to make you cry. How you want to show us?

Oh, yeah, yeah. And that's his catchphrase. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he keeps putting out this level of content. OK, so like recently he did all this. I didn't know. I didn't know anything about this. Hey, how are you doing, baby girl?

You got that apple? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm feeling it. Look here. You'll miss that ball, huh? Well, guess what? I'm coming at your fairies. Oh, it doesn't matter if you got a big booty or a flat booty.

I'm coming to get that booty. OK, isn't it weird he's wearing his grandma's glasses? With a cord? With a cord, everything. Super weird. And look, I want to lick them drawers. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

And let me play with that new, new. Y'all know what's a banana split? You know what a split is? No, it isn't. Well, we're going to use your booty. I'm going to hit the, I got to break it in half. You understand? And put some corn chips, make that a fix.

Yeah, go. I'm doing it and put some for corn. He's never been. He's never been to Dairy Queen. Go, I'm going to lick in that gut inside your booty. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm going to get it all. Guess what?

You're going to put me to sleep. OK, so this is just to give you a background of who you're dealing with, you understand? I feel like you should get some more than just the one vaccine that's out there. Yeah. Well, here's one of my favorite things that I've discovered clearly in these videos.

When we started to find him, somebody is recording him. Right, yeah. Well, he has taken it upon himself to start putting out his own content. But he hasn't mastered the camera flip. Well, if you take a look. Oh, no. Hey, my baby girl.

I miss you, my baby. I love you. Uh-huh. With all my heart. I'm going to be with you, baby. Oh, fuck. So I forgot to flip it. And then he just keeps putting out videos.

How are you all beautiful women doing? I know you all to work. Oh, god. Uh-huh. All the time. You all got to get that paper. Yeah, my baby. Oh, my god.

I'm shocked and surprised he has a car. I know. Yeah, I wouldn't see him as a car owner. Yeah, because his house, if you see in the video a couple before, his house doesn't have a foundation. Right. So you wouldn't expect him to have a car. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. But he's got a car and still putting out killer content. Oh, here it is. Hey, Christina. Hey, baby girl with the blind hair. No way. I got something for you. I got something for you, Christina.

Oh, that's it. And it's there. Oh, my god. Can you go to his IG real quick? Because he posted some stuff today. And he does this for Christina? He does some of them for Christina sometimes. Oh, my god.

Do you guys know where he lives? He lives in New Orleans. Oh, my god. All right, it might be Lafayette. That's not it. That's not him. That's not it. Yeah, those pictures are actually taking the right way.

Yeah, that's not him. I'll tell you the handle. Have you guys made him famous? No. I mean, people hit him up. That might be it there. That's him. Yeah.

It is the account is Unkshine8. Is that what you have? That's not it. You've got to get the right one. That's not it. 8. 8. A-T-E.

No, the number 8. Uncle, Uncle, Un-C-L-E, Shine, and the number 8. Number 8. He should put 8. That's his account. Yeah, that's it. So, that is, oh, man. So he figured out how to flip that camera.

That's what I'm excited about. Oh, my god. Yeah. So he posted all those? Yeah. Yeah. Suddenly, my Instagram doesn't look so bad. No, you're doing fine.

I'm doing it. See, that's where he figured out how to flip the camera. Oh, my god. That's where he figured it out. Is one of those a video? These are all videos. OK, can we see when we can see him? Can we see one of his?

Oh, yeah, let's see it here. Baby, we look. Check this out. I had to get me another phone. Yeah, my phone got wet and it fell in the street. Uh-huh. Aye-aye-aye. He's still got the call going.

Hey, how you all doing, baby? So close that. And then can you go to one of the more recent ones from today, like one of the most recent? You could actually see the street in his glasses, though. Did you notice that? Now, that's all y'all got to do. Show me some love.

Let me get your drawers. Put your drawers in my face. All right? I'm going to put my tongue in your head. Aye-aye. I'm going fast. Now, that's all he is. And the second one?

What's the second one? Yeah. I guarantee y'all, if y'all let me eat y'all, if y'all been over, let me eat that drop your drawers. It's on, baby. Bring your drawers to me. Can you know what's interesting? I want to smell them.

There you go. First, he was filming the car door, right? And he flipped it. But he's still not framing himself. He's just doing eyes up. Well, you know, because he's not good at aim, because he wants the pussy, but he keeps ending up in the ass every time.

So he's not good at it. He's not good at the ass. You know what I really want to do for him? Because I really love this guy. I want to go. You're the sweetest man. I want to go to New Orleans, or whatever part of Louisiana he's in, and show up with some hoes,

and let him make a banana split in their ass. You're going to have to bring corn chips. Corn chips, pecans, ice cream. I want to have it have a buffet. But you got to record it, but the wrong way. So it's just your face seeing it. It's just me, boy. No, just film a car door.

I'll be like, look at this banana split. And then his noise is, ay, ay, ay, ay. Oh, man. Oh, my. Well, good for him. He's probably somebody's father. Ay, ay, ay. It's possible.

It's possible, yeah. Just let me eat you. Yeah. That's a bag. That's a such a fantastic bag. Come on, just let me eat your ass. It's a great thing to throw at somebody. It's a good move.

Totally is. Oh, man. You know who's not getting canceled? That guy. That guy. No. There's nothing you can take from him. No, you can't cancel somebody that's being honest.

Which he totally is. And polite, and all about the other person. Yeah, and he's asking for your draws. He's asking. He's asking. He's saying, can I make a banana split with you, Booty? With you, Booty. OK, are you as upset by that?

Like, we get so fired up about, because you're a road dog, too. You're always on the road. These hotels that have the half glass door, you go to take a shower, and there's glass to here, and then you're like, how does the shower close? It doesn't close, and it gets everywhere, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's stupid.

Whose fucking idea is this? It's the hotels, or hotels, I say, hotels. But they just don't want to put a full effort into it, so they just don't want to. I thought they're like, oh, it looks cool. You think so? I think that they think they're like, this just looks modern or something.

And then. You have to, they also like to do a thing where you have to get hit by the water to turn it on. Yeah. Which just, that drives me insane, because I've got texture issues, and it just freaks me out when I get hit by the water before I'm showering.

Yeah. So yeah, they're the same thing that drives me insane. And what brand is, it's always the same brand, isn't it? It's that Marriott something. It's not Marriott, but it's Marriott something, right? Yeah, them or like Kimpton, one of those places does it where they always have a thing. And then you walk out, and you're like,

the whole fucking bathroom is just covered in water, man. Just soaked, and then you're wondering what disease is, because it happens every week, every week, every day, somebody stays there. So they're bringing it in. It's the worst design. I refuse to eat ass in those hotels. I'm not eating anyone's booty in those hotels.

Nope. I don't care how many pecans you bring. Man, you can trick me with the pecans. Yeah, I mean, there's like another open door. Like, here you go, shower, and you're like, what about the water? You know what comes out of these things, right? It's water.

You guys, what do you guys have in your house? Do you guys have a big old, you guys got different, like you got the tub, and then you have the shower? Yeah, the tub comes, I mean, the only thing the tub gets usage from now is that we have little kids. And also Christina has to lie in it until she heals. No, that's true. I didn't think about it.

No, but she's been in the shower. She's been in the shower? Yeah, because the shower, like we put a little seat in there. Oh, man, she's pooping in the shower. She's pooping in there. She's pooping down the drain. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And stomping it down.

That's her Eastern European descent. You know how this guy poops? We just found out. It's so crazy. I had no idea. How does it poop? He stands on the seat like he's in fucking Bangladesh. Who does?

Any. No. Yeah. Why do you do that? I've just been doing it my whole life, so I don't know how to do it any other way. I mean, I guess I do, but it's uncomfortable, you know? Right, yeah.

It'd be like, imagine if you would did that now, my way, how comfortable it would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same thing as my whole life. You mean as a kid, you were doing that? Oh, yeah, I mean, as long as I can remember, yeah. You ever slip in? No, thank God, no, I've always been scared of it, but no.

You must miss the target sometimes, right? You probably want to get one of those showers that aren't closed in so you can wash the whole fucking shower. That's how he shits, dude. That's how he shits, right there. He does that. He wears track pants while he shits. He shits in track pants.

That's awkward as shit. Yeah, I do it just like that. That's not an exaggeration. That's 100% how I do it. It's more healthy for you that way, right? That's what I was told. I was told it was the optimal way to do it. I'm not even playing.

I'm not playing. Because you would have no problem with an outdoor shit. No. That would be your shit. That's right, yeah, it'd be just like, it's just no bowl, that's all. Same thing. Just walking, just going for a walk up Runyon Canyon,

just pull off into the side, shit, and keep moving. How long are your shit, like sessions when you do this? Like how long are you? Shit sessions. Because you don't do it often. Right, it's always hard, because again, I dissociate, so it's tough to come up with an exact number, but it's like. You don't go through your Instagram

while you're sitting in that squad. No, I do nothing. I specifically dissociate so that I don't know what's going on. That's why things are like coming in segments on you. Is there a time of day when you usually do it? A time of day. When it usually happens.

When you do it. No, it's just whenever it's like time, where basically there's no chance I could hold it anymore. Have you guys gone into the bathroom here and found footprints? He won't do it here. He won't do it here. He's never shit here.

Not a chance. He doesn't shit every day. He doesn't shit every day? Yeah, that's something that should probably. That's not good. In any context, you should probably know is I take. He doesn't shit every week. Well, no wonder you have to do that.

Yeah, it's like once every two weeks. You poo every two weeks? Yeah. And again, since I was a kid. How do you do life after the first three days? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Are your whole, are your whole family?

Let's get him ready. Let's get him ready here. All right, don't record. OK. So God. Do you really not poop every two weeks? No, yeah. Yeah, I think I eat a lot of food that.

And by the way, this dude, I don't know what he weighs, but he's like rail thin. Yeah, I've seen him. And we'll sometimes have lunch out there. They'll get cheeseburgers from In-N-Out or something. He'll eat five. Any poops once every two weeks? He'll eat five.

He'll like house them. Oh my god. I think it's the stuff. Your asshole must hurt so much after two weeks of not pooping. Like it must be just like solid cement coming out. I want him to do a colonic so, so bad. Guarantee you they find a coin.

Oh yeah, they'll find. Yeah, those secrets in there. There's all kinds of secrets. Why am I so, I'm freaked out. I'm like concerned about his health. We all were. You have the normal reaction. That's everyone's reaction when they find out the first time.

Rubbing my eyebrows, I'm just concerned. He's got to poop more. I don't mind the position. It's just the amount. Dr. Drew said I'm good, man. We all Gucci. No worries. That's what Dr. Drew said.

Yeah, Dr. Drew is a horrible doctor. He wasn't getting you off drugs. He was talking to you about poop. He should not have been telling you anything like that. Oh my god. Will you see a GI? What would that entail? You don't have to get in your ass or anything like that.

But it's a specialist for the digestive system. I'm sure you have one listening that'll talk. I have a good one. Is this like a show thing? No. It would be for a show. It would be for your own health. I like the way, can I make money off it?

That's what it is. Oh, do you want it to be for the show? Is that what you're saying? I'm saying that like, I mean, Drew asked me something similar and I was saying that I would more than likely do it for a show before I would do it for myself. Oh, okay.

It's for the show. It's for the show. Yeah. Possibly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'll consider, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

You know, you're going to move to Texas and it's drier there. So you're going to poop even less. So it's going to go down to once every three weeks. No, it's more humid there. Isn't it? I thought, I thought Austin was like drying most but during the summer or during the summer.

Oh my God. It's so fucking hot. You guys are fucking, why are you guys doing this? I don't know. Why are you guys decided we're getting out of? California. Yeah. I don't know.

I'm over it. You're over it? Yeah. You've had enough? I've had enough here. I, you know, even when I fly back now. How mad's Bert at you? He's, yeah, he's filming his movie.

But he built a house to live near you. Yeah. He's not thrilled. But I mean. He's filming a movie. Right now. In Serbia. What's he filming?

The machine movie. It's about his story. That's awesome. No way they're doing that? They're filming that. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

It's like a big production. Okay. Is he playing, is he playing? Who's playing him as a young guy? There's an actor playing him. Young version of him because there's flashback thing and then I can't get into the story. Just ends with him naked on stage

and people going nuts, right? Yeah. And then there's this whole like Jewish element to it where he's like. That's awesome. Good for him. I didn't know he was doing that. There's like a thing.

It's with the banks. So. Is that, is that why he's been so quiet on Instagram? Yeah. I was, I didn't want to say anything. I thought he had a horrible disease or something. No, no, no. He's never been so quiet.

He's been in, he's been in Serbia since April. Good for him. Yeah. And it's a big movie. I mean, Mark Hamill's playing his dad. What? Yeah. You know, Luke.

Luke's good. He's good for him. Yeah. So it's pretty wild, man. Does Mark Hamill look like his dad in real life or? No, not at all. So whose choice was it to get to Mark Hamill? I think they were considering a few people

and then I remember when he called me, he was like, we got Mark. I was like, that's wild dude. That's crazy. And there was a funny post the other day. If anybody should have a life, a life movie, it should be him, right? His, his life is.

Oh yeah. It's insane. I love it. But he poops at least once a day. For sure he does. The, the, not that gross as fuck thing. Scroll down a little. He looks good too.

Is it this one? Oh yeah, this one, this one. Luke. Luke. I can't get through it. Look at Mark in the background. Luke, Luke, I am your father. Have you ever done that before?

I am. I am. I am. What the fuck did you get out of there? He was so unamused. He was so unamused. That was the best part. He was like, you know, it's been 40 years people

have been doing that, right? Burt's finally found a fan. He posted this today, Burt did. Oh God. He goes, I finally changing my sheets for the first time in Serbia. Guess which time of the, guess which side of the bed I sleep on. Look how fucking filthy he is.

Ugh. Oh my God. How is it that gnarly? He must have terrifying nightmares every night or something like that, right? I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's really gross, dude.

Look at the pillow. He's only been there like eight weeks. But you told me he was a big budget. Doesn't, if they're only doing his sheets now, it doesn't seem like he's got that big of a budget. Well, I feel like they spent all the money on Mark. On Mark? On Mark, maybe.

And he can't get sheets. I don't know, man. Oh, I love him. He's so sweaty. He really does sweat a lot. Does he think that the vaccine makes him magnetic because he can stick a key or an everything else to his body? That was fantastic.

Is he able to does he do it? Who, Bert? Yeah. I'm sure if you. Because everything will stick to him. Anything to do to Bert. I did it once on the podcast. Is I'll be like, yeah, I mean, what's happening in your face?

And I'll be like, and because he has a fear of getting bells palsy. No way. I did it once. It's great on the podcast. And he was like, don't fuck with me like that. He gets really scared. Why is he scared about bells palsy?

He has all these OCD like just fears and, you know, weird shit that plays in his head, fueled by alcohol, I guess. I don't know. He should get it just for the parking spot. Yeah. I don't know. Do you get a parking spot for bells palsy or do they make it? I don't think so.

I think they make you walk it off. They got bells palsy walking off. I can't believe he only shits every two weeks. That just terrifies me. Yeah. No, it's it's. And I can't believe Dr. Drew's a horrible doctor. Drew Drew's a wonderful guy.

He is a great doctor. I don't know. I was alarmed when he was like, that's fine. Yeah, at that time I was like, how is that fine? Why don't I call him right now? Let me see if I can. Dr. Drew, telling people when to do Dr. Drew.

My own doctor, too. My own doctor said it wasn't that big of a deal. She was surprised. She was like, that's crazy. But it's yeah, let's see. If you how is it not bad? If a doctor says that, oh, that's a surprise and then says, oh, that's crazy.

That one usually should say, no, it's not good to me. Hey, Drew, how are you? Hey, we're we're recording right now. We're doing your mom's house and I have Ian bags sitting with me. And he just learned about any's, you know, shit situation. And he's floored that you have said that it's OK that he shits once every two weeks. He says you cannot be right.

It's not well, first of all, choose your battle. Otherwise, it's not going to be fruitful. Secondly, you know, when you hurt yourself by doing that, there's nothing that can really it's all outside his body. And you heard the whole procedure. Did you listen to this? We chose the whole procedure. He goes through.

I heard parts of it and I was super alarmed to hear that he stands on the like stands on the seat like he's in Mumbai. But yeah, that completely I lost my mind on the floor. That hovering like you're on the floor. He stands on the seat like like some sort of. Yeah. I don't know why. Like he just got here. Yeah. Which parts concerns you more the way he's he's pooping

or the amount that he's pooping? Yeah, it's got to be a crazy amount. I would. Do you want him to poo more? Use this behavior for someone. Yeah. But I think he's going to be OK. But after a long time, it was pretty healthy, doesn't he? Now, he does seem healthy. Do you think it's a good idea?

I wanted to set him up with a visit to my G.I. Just to like have a conversation for the show. Not just personally. An interesting idea. Yeah. They're going to be worried about what they call toxic mega colon. That's the only thing you get trouble with where over time you could lose the ability for the bowel to contract. That's the problem. OK.

I think that would be a bad thing. You know, it's awesome. My wife is yelling at me now that I'm sitting in a restaurant. It's 10 o'clock at night. We're in Greece. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And when I saw your name come up, I thought, oh, he's calling about any.

I must take this car. Well, look, I had no idea. Happy anniversary. I did not know you were in Greece celebrating. Send my best to your lovely wife. Sorry, Dr. Drew. And I'm the same to yours. Is she OK?

Yeah, she's OK. She doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. So I had to kind of, you know, straighten her out. Well, I like I like that the cigarettes fall hard. I think that's true. I think we do. When do you get back? When do you get back?

We're about 10 days. OK. Well, look, have a wonderful day again. Have a wonderful trip. Yeah, any will be shitting by the time you get back. And I hope you have a great. Right at the end. He's got it. You've got it marked on my calendar.

I'm sure. Get get lots of blowjobs and get your ass eaten. Have a great anniversary. OK. Got it. Got it. All right, man. Happy anniversary. Bye. I don't he didn't say that it was a good thing. He said I would not.

Right. Recommend any's lifestyle to anyone. Yeah, just that when he says it's happening outside the body, he means that you know, your body cavity, right, is is one thing. And that the the digestive system is within it. Right. So it's not like there's shit seeping into his body. He's not he's not got a fistula or whatever they call it, right.

But he also said you could blow your butthole out. He did say that. He said you could lose colon like a sphincter control. So you could shit yourself walking down the street. I think we're doing the GI thing. OK. Copy that, chief. OK. It's like when you see those people that like fist other people. Oh, we've seen those.

I know you guys have. But you're like concerned about them. You know, they can't that can't be good for your butthole. Cannot be. No. Um, I want to show you some clips. Please do have you tell me whether this is horrible or hilarious. Both. All right, show us what you got.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, you knew it wasn't going to end well because that's the thinnest pool ever of all time. Oh, yeah, that's not a pool to do that on. Oh, my God, do you think he's dead? No, but I think he's walking differently now. And I guarantee you, Dr.

Drew would say he's OK. Yeah, Dr. Drew would say just walk that off. Remember to have a shower later on and everything will be fine. I'm in Greece. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was terrifying. OK. How many ribs got displaced? That was. Oh, man.

Three ribs, right? Three ribs, at least. This has a read me thing here. This guy does all sorts of crazy stunts like this. His YouTube channel is called Adrenaline Addiction. Here is. Here he is. This is a different one. Ready? Yes, I'm ready. Oh, man.

Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, that's blood. Yeah. Oh, how about the concussion? You feel that too. That concussions. Yeah. At that at that height, I mean, that's that's like hitting cement. Yeah, that's a concussion. And those that that blood there is the least of your worries.

Yeah, that's that's not. Dude, he's going to fall asleep while driving. What is the I got to show him my the roof one? You know, I mean, the what is that called? Is that in a horrible hilarious? It is right? Yeah, it is. Would you know what episode it's from? I think it would have been from the last time.

Let me figure out what the name is. OK, OK, find out for me. Here's another one. Oh, have you seen this? This happened in Russia. Tell me what you think happened here. OK. Talking, talking. Can I see that again?

Yeah, is that Burt? And guess what? Guess what? They're fine. That's crazy. They're OK. No, they really are. No, they're not. They are. No, she's missing a leg. No, she's good. OK.

They're both good. I'm trying to find one. No wonder you try to make Christina walk. Ladies lying on this man with one leg. She's fine. She's fine. You're worse doctor than Dr. Drew. I am worse. And your construction, your construction ability.

That's not good construction. That's a fire exit that doesn't help. Dude, I mean, that's a good fall. That's two stories, right? Yeah. Oh, it's happened in Russia. And I only know that they're OK because so many people were circulating this clip. And then some Russian people were like, yeah, you know,

they got the context of the story there. And they were like, yeah, they're both OK. Yes. You got to see both sides of the story to really know what's going on. You really have to. OK, this one has. All right. This is not a fall, though.

It's a jump. Oh. Oh, my God. Why did he think he could land that? Why? Who just goes like I'm just going to jump in here. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I didn't think you guys could disturb me more than him pooping once every two weeks. But that guy's fucking his his hips went through his fucking pelvis, right? Yeah. And he and he hyper extended. So both of his knees snapped. And he just casually was like, I'm just I'm just going to jump. Like he didn't fall.

Although it's a lovely boot. He jumped. I know. He did it in like rain boots. Jesus Christ. There we go. I'm just going to jump. How about the dicks that are just laughing at him right here? I would know what you were laughing when you're like, oh,

fuck. Oh, my God. I've seen that thing like, can you reverse? Can you play a reverse so we can see him go back together? Oh, I mean, go back together so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, look at that. Ankles, knees, hips and small back.

He landed with he landed with no bend. Yeah, he didn't do any give. No, no, not at all. And then look, oh, oh, man. He's so funny. You know what's happening right here, by the way? The energy from the like from the land is now exiting. So it's like you have the initial break, right?

And then that energy has to exit somewhere. So something else breaks. Yeah, that's how you have your two breaks. You know what I'm saying here that I didn't notice before? I think it's the fact that he's wearing boots. So the fact he can't bend the ankles and then that's fucking up the entire land. But he's got it is the knees

is where he's got to really give, right? Yeah, he's got to have the knee give and they don't give it. They go straight. And by the way, if this mother fucker, if this had been you, look how fucking far that is. That's so far to think you're just going to jump. Oh, well, I'll just just jump down there. And and I've I've never parked parkour parkour before.

And I'll just do it right now. Isaac Parkour. Why is it called Parkour? Yeah, that's what he says. I've seen some videos online. I think I can do this. Oh, get my yellow boots. I'm about to jump from the roof.

Worst fireman ever. That shit fucking got me good. Oh, this is awesome looking at this, but watching it as a video makes you want to throw up. Right. Like the video with this is just like. And look at this douche. Look at the video.

Oh, man, you're going to have so much pain the rest of your life and you're going to get addicted to fucking pain pills and everything. He's so his whole life is different now. Oh, you're completely different. Yeah, ever. Yeah, he can't back out of a parking spot without crying. Oh, God.

And if he had if he shot the same way as that guy does, he would have shot himself if this had been a week into his non shitting for two weeks. Oh, yeah. Just fucking just a huge lump comes out of his ass. He's so super megafucked, which he's super megafucked. He's super megafucked. That's a great animation character, super megafucked.

Super megafucked. Where is that to what what what country do you think that is? I don't know. I don't know where that. Do you have the idea where that is? No, it's Europe. Right. The kid, the kid laughing sounds American is stupid.

When they put all those houses together, I think Europe. I do too. But don't you think this sounds like an American, though? It just sounds like an American little shit. Is an American asshole. They brought this to my attention. I guess this is really encouraging that I was listed in this promo and on Craigslist.

Stand up comic for my daughter's abortion, Boise. My daughter is pregnant. Now, anyway, hoping to get that taken care of soon. She would be a terrible mom and the baby would look all weird and stuff. It's going to be a tough day for a family. We'll all need to laugh. Looking for a stand up comedian like Sinbad. Time to grow up or Howie Mandel.

Must be good at roasting or doing funny raps. Which part are you a rapper? I'm not good at either of those. That's a great one. And it's a one star. Stand up comic for my daughter's abortion. Do you go in with her and do that? Do like your your roaster while she's getting the abortion?

Or is it like to lift her spirits afterwards? Like, look, you would have sucked as a mom, right? You would have been bad. Think about how tight you kept your puss. I mean, you work at Verizon. You really think you can fucking handle a kid? You work at Verizon. And it's not even Verizon.

You're like a subsidiary story. Yeah, yeah. You work at the kiosk. How about the guy that says his daughter would be a terrible mom? Well, you're a fucking horrible father. Well, I would think, yeah. Yeah, she should have probably been aborted. There you go. You got your opener right there.

Yeah, man. This family should have been aborted. Howie Mandel would have just blown up a balloon over his head. He's on the cover of a man. I was walking through the airport yesterday. Howie Mandel? Yeah, about his OCD. Like that now it's at a crippling level or something.

You know, he's like famously germaphobic and all that. But what cover of what? Like one of the big like people or something. Oh, I thought there was an OCD magazine. No, it was like, it was like one of the big, you know. He seems to be doing OKs on TV. Yeah, it seems like I thought he was doing great. Yeah, well, good for him.

I wonder how he'd do it in abortion roast. Do, there it is, the people one. See, like that second from the right? That's what I saw. Bad links, severe anxiety, OCD. But he still got that 1950s comic where he's got the hand on the face. Hand on the face?

Hey, I'm about to tell you some things. Get my glasses. Do you know him? No. He's very nice. I'm sure he's very nice. I met him one time when I first started stand up in Canada. And I was at the punch line where I was like,

basically an amateur and he dropped in and did a set. And I just like, you know, I was from a little town in Canada. Suddenly there's famous guys right in front of me. I'm just like, yeah. I'm like, why are you here? Like just looking at him. He was like, I'm going to do stand up. I'm like, OK, weird.

What city were you in? Vancouver, Vancouver. Yeah, but he was all of a sudden, but all of a sudden he's going to do the open mic night. He's just going to do drop by and do 10 minutes. That's what he did. Yeah. He didn't do 10 minutes.

People went nuts. He did an hour. And then all the amateurs got to do it as they flocked after him as he ran down the street. Sure. Yeah. Fuck Howie Mandel. That was the point of this.

He's the Dr. Drew of comedy. You're just like, he's my friend, Lakeford. Poor Drew. Poor, he's awesome. I love Dr. Drew's shows where he gets the people off the drugs. Oh, yeah. I love those shows. Me too.

It's so good. Oh my god. And I even would. You root for them, right? You do, but you also look forward to watching them fall apart a little bit too. Yeah, a little bit. But you root for them to fall apart.

Yes, what I'm saying. Stay off drugs, people. There was that one guy who was just like, I don't know. His back pain was so bad. Oh, god. Oh my god, he would cry every episode. Every episode he cried. Give me back my drugs.

Give me my drugs. Who was it? Yeah, that dude. That guy was. There it is. That was him every episode. The guy from Taxi. I just kind of wanted to be like, dude, all right,

with the fucking crying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was weird because you're like, he had everything going. Yeah. Like everything. And then to end up like that.

Let that be a lesson just because you got everything going. Your butthole gets spread out because you're pooping enough. Everything, right? Everything. Yeah. I think I remember it being opiates was the big thing. Opiates will fuck you up. Cocaine will make you get to do things done.

Oh, I just fucking mumbled that out, didn't I? Yeah. Do you like Coke? I haven't done it in many, many, many decades. It's weird to picture you on Coke. Oh, it's a lot of stuff. Yeah, you get like fired up as is. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Did you? Never did it. I think what happened was I overdosed so young. On what? I was, I took a bunch of GHB. No way. Drank a bunch and I ended up in a coma.

No way. So when that happened. Have I never heard this story? I don't know. But what happened was I was young enough where that's a scary enough thing. Right. Where you just go like, oh, you're just not going to try stuff after that. I was on a path of trying things.

I was in college, you know, you're experimenting with stuff. I feel like I would have gotten there. But it was so traumatic that you just go like, no. How much GHB did you do? That time way too much. Yeah. How long were you in a coma? So normally you take, we would take, they'd give you a water bottle of GHB.

Right. If you bought, you know, a few hundred dollars worth and you would just fill this up. Right. This is, this was a hit, a fucking water bottle cap. Right. And the night that I OD'd, I've told the story before, but the guy said a hand in me a water bottle. He was like the main dealer, the guy that had it.

He had it in a milk jug, a gallon of milk. So he hands me the milk jug. It's one gallon in his car. And he's like, here, you know, take a sip. Yeah. So I'm holding it, but you know, it weighs more. I'm not going to pour it into the gallon cap, like peel off cap. So I'm just like, oh, and I just tip it like that.

And I realized like my mouth is full and I'm like, well, I don't want to be rude, you know, and I can't spit it back in his thing. What do I spit it out? Like I just sleep for a couple of days. Yeah. I swallowed it. And I was like, I think I just took like 12 hits of GHB and I'd already been drinking a lot that night, like a lot.

So I just ended up, you know, I passed out and I ended up in the hospital. So interesting that I didn't, I wouldn't have expected you to be doing those drugs. Well, I mean, it was all new to me. It wasn't a lot. You don't even smoke pot anymore, do you? I ate edibles. You eat edibles?

Yeah, I prefer it because I like that at first I used to hate edibles because they were just fucking, they'd be so strong. Right. Then I discovered mild edibles. Right. And I just like that once you find a dosage that you like, I feel like I know what I'm getting. It's like having, you know, glass of wine or something.

I just enjoy it. And I mean, I still will have, I'll have a glass of wine with dinner or something sometimes, but I've just never been a real big loser. And then I feel like the experience of overdosing just totally took me off like an experimental drug path. Absolutely. So I just never did that again. So it just happened at that time.

I mean, I was literally, I had only smoked weed and drank and then senior year at high school, second half of the senior year of high school, a friend of mine brought GHB and I didn't even know what that was. And then I tried it one day and it was like I said, that little cap worth and it was, it's immediate. Right. And you were like glowing. Like you just felt high immediately.

Right. But you know, your eyes didn't turn red like with weed. You didn't smell like booze. It felt like a great, you know, great option like to have. Yeah. So I started doing it probably like spring of my senior year at high school and I did in November of freshman year of college. So I only did it for like, I don't know, six months or something.

That's enough. I think that's all you need to do for me. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like if I hadn't OD'd, I'm sure I would have kept trying more. You would have been a different human. I'm glad you, I'm glad you OD'd. Thanks.

Does Dr. Drew say he's happy that you OD'd too? I don't, you know, I'm sure I've talked to him about it, but I don't remember. You should. You should go in and talk to his people before they cry about their back pain. I know. Yeah. Did I ever tell you about the time we made our own heroin?

So I'm living in one of my, I just started doing comedy and I'm living with these guys in Vancouver and this house that we were living in grew poppies and this guy Blaine came over and he's like, Hey, those are heroin poppies. Let's, let's bleed them so we bled them. Then we, we cooked it down and then we, we didn't shoot it, but we smoked it. And, and I had like the worst time with it. Really? And that's what stopped me from doing drugs.

Did, I mean, you got high as fuck. Oh, I, I, I remember going to, I was just, everything was chasing me. I was being chased by everything. And I was just like, Oh, I got to get out of here. Yeah. And I couldn't, I couldn't relax for probably about 12 hours. I wish you could go into like a program where they're like, do you want to try everything? Definitely awesome.

Yeah. You know, just to see what it's like and like, see, you know, have the, but then I think that's called, isn't that called, like, Colorado? Yeah, everything. You can just do everything. Yeah, man, which one would you try if you could try anything right now? Well, I remember, so when I had Tommy Leon, I was like, you've done every drug right a lot.

He was like, yeah. And I was like, what's the best? And he was like, definitely heroin. Really? Yeah. But I mean, I think that's shooting it up and everything, you know, like, I mean, I can say from my hospital stay, the strongest thing they can give you is dilated, which is like basically dialed down heroin, you know, medicinal, opiate, unreal.

This is from your shoulder and ankle. Oh, my God, like, they fucking give it to you. And then you, you feel that the warm rush in your chest. And then you're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Next thing you know, you're sucking dick in the bathroom. I mean, I was sucking everyone's dick right there in the room. That's the warm feeling.

All the male nurses came in. I was like, take your dicks out. No, it was, it was on. I mean, so I kind of, you know, I don't say, I can't say I tried, but like, you kind of go, Oh, is it down this path? Yeah, I could see how this would be a fun ride. It wasn't the way when we made it ourselves. It was not.

We probably, we probably almost killed ourselves on something is what we did. I always feel like I would have liked to try and like a like Coke because I'm a pretty laid back dude. And I'm like, Oh, what would, you know, I can't imagine you just getting into people's face and just talking up close, talking a bunch. And they're like, what's going on with you? What's up with you, man? Tommy's on the roof.

Oh, that's insane. I hope my mom doesn't listen to this episode, man. Everybody keeps saying that. Like the, uh, every guest is like, well, won't be telling my parents. I'm on this. That's funny. I tell everybody, this is the best show out there. You know that, right?

You guys know that, right? I don't know. We have, we have a lot of fun doing it. You guys have a lot of fun and the people that listen to it and the people that work with you, it's just, it's just the best one out there. And I'm not being a suck up. I'm telling you, it's the best one out there. Fuck everybody else.

Fuck them. Yeah. In honor of, uh, Christine and, um, her legacy here on the show. We'll miss her. We'll miss her. She's past. We love her, but, um, how about we watch some of her Tik Toks? Oh, I love her Tik Toks because last time your Tik Tok segment was so legendary.

Sure. I mean, I heard you bitches was looking for me. Oh, yeah. All right. So here's a Christina's curations. Let's get into some of her talks. We'll do a few. Here we go.

I got her all wet. You're going to have it of doing that. I know. Oh my God. I know somebody that'll eat their ass. You sure do. I do. It looks like you lived in that neighborhood too.

Is there anything more white trash than just the hot tub? Yeah. Yeah, I know it is. Or have you ever met somebody who like they'll, they just moved or something. And they're like, yeah, we got this, we got a hot tub. And you're like, yeah, yeah, that's what you lead with. Yeah. Yeah.

That you got a hot tub. They're trying to fuck you. They're trying to fuck you. Of course they are. We got a hot tub. Want to jizz on our hot tub. And when the guy tells you, like when a guy tells you as a hot tub, he's like, you can fuck my wife, you know, that's what he's telling you.

I got a hot tub. All right, I'm coming over. I'll come fuck your wife. All right. Hey, man, we just got a bad bad. Don't you look at me like that. What the fuck? What the fuck?

Do you think I've been trying to take care of that goddamn cat for two weeks because you're fucking ass doesn't do it. Because my fucking ass doesn't do it. Okay. God damn it. I've been there. Yeah. Where the mouth doesn't add up to the brain.

We've played this woman before on this show. How tall is she? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, but I guess she was on the talk. She's like, how tall do you think she is? I think, I don't think, I think she's shorter than that truck, right? Is that a truck bed?

Yeah. What is she like fucking 411? Yeah. No, but she's standing over the hood of the sedan behind me. Oh, that's true. It's just weird perspective. Or it might be one of them real cool trucks with super swampers. Oh, it's got the, it's got the mutters on it.

Yep. Oh my gosh. She's real fucking pissed about that cat. He's pissed about that good. Do you get to take care of that? So you're fucking ass. You're fucking ass. Oh man, it stole my wig many, many times.

It's so weird. It's still alarming when you hear old lady drop F bombs. I love it. I know it's the best. Do your parents curse? My mom does like a sailor. She does? Yeah, just like that fucking guy down the street.

Really? Yeah, it's pretty funny. That's the best. My dad doesn't. It doesn't sound right. He's like, oh, you're fucking mom. And I was like, oh, easy good. The, uh, the old people and kids.

So both of my kids are saying a lot of curse word and it's getting more. He goes, uh, so we were reading the snake book with my five year old. He goes, look how fucking long he is. I go, hey, man, I go, no, you can't say that. And then he goes, he goes, what if a snake ate like a negate a bird? Wouldn't that be fucking silly? I go, you can't just say that all the time, man. And he was looking at me like, what?

I go, you just can't. Yeah, he's confused. It's the way mom talks. Yeah. And then he go, and then the little one who, you know, he's two. So he has like, like kind of baby talk thing. He's just like, he goes, it's a fucking file, a fucking fell on the ground. I'm like, yo, what are you saying, man?

And then he still says, God fucking damn it. No way. Yeah. Because I say it. So I'll be like, God fucking damn it. And then he walks around the corner. You'll go, go, God fucking damn it. And I'm like, I just turn.

I'm like, I'm not going to acknowledge that. I'm not going to say it, but your kids should be taken away. Yeah, I know. I mean, you did say it. Well, I was just, I'm not going to say it though. I just put it out there just because, you know, really, this lady should be taken care of them. All right.

For all my TikTok peeps down there, I'm trying a new car. Waffle chicken sandwich, fries, Oreo cookie shake. You see what it tastes like? You know what I mean? You just take it yourself. Yeah. No, I've been like quite tasty. Yum, yum, yum, yum.

All right. Oh, this is fucking awesome. Oh, God, I guarantee he gets a show on fucking the food channel. Oh, that's what is that burger too? What is that? It looks like that it has a waffle. Yeah, it's a waffle as the button. And then I think it's fried chicken till, you know, chicken

and waffles and his V-necks out of control control. Yeah, I think everything's kind of out of control on him. His diet's out of control. I'll tell you this. He doesn't shit once every few weeks. Oh, he shits every hour of that guy. That's working. That's diarrhea right now.

Yeah, if he's if he stood on the seat, it would just be shit all over the walls behind them. He wouldn't even hit the toilet. Just like a word. Just like, he'd be like, look, I'm like, oh, well, clean shit. There's nothing there. No, my God. Gross.

Well, she screwed up that TLC song. I think she was trying to say waterfalls. We're going to chase the waterfalls. Oh, my God. It's a really interesting take on that classic. That right there is why I don't want to have kids. Because someone's kid is going to grow up to be like that. Right. Oh, yeah.

And and her chances are to be mine. That was so disturbing. That was so. Hey, I don't like this one. Nice choice, Christina. Dad, bought my ass. Oh, boy. That shit.

My God. All right. Very nice. Letting you know. He's letting you know he's got a nice body still again. What's his what's his bottom part like huge? And then he had a small upper body. Can we see it again?

Sure. Like he had. Dad, bought my ass compared to his top. That shit. It's doing too many leg days. You think he's he's got he needs to dial back like that. Yeah. My God. And he's got a Hitler mustache, right?

It seems like he does. He definitely has an interesting lighting concept and a nice ceiling fan going on, man. And you know, there's no as marks. Yeah, dead bodies all over the place. Oh, this dude's this dude's closet is it's quite there's quite a few skeletons in there. Yes.

What the fuck? Was it fish eggs? I don't know what that was. Was that fish piss or I think he was squeezing fish eggs into his mouth. That's what it is. My God, dude. Good for him. Blood. It's fish eggs. Yeah.

Yes, fucking. He made himself sick with it. He's like. He's having too much. He's having too much. What is it? It's not called row. What do they call that? The one fish eggs?

What? I thought it was row. Sam, is that what it is? Yeah, I have to tell you, this is one of those images where I can say I've never seen someone do this before this moment. I want to be honest with you. Yeah, I have. You have. Yeah. You've seen a dumb fisherman.

Just picking up and just joke with it like this guy. This guy put on a shirt, you fucking freak. God. OK, this I haven't. What's this? All those are bugs. Oh, man. Got a nice season.

Is that good? Oh, my God. Oh, that one got away away. I wonder what I know. Annie, would you eat that? No. OK, don't answer that. Oh, he took it off. Sorry, I could not.

Oh, you like you disassociated for that? Yes. Yes. I was asking if you would eat that. Come on. Why? Why did you do this? You think it's spicy, that stuff? I do.

What's that bowl? What are those bugs? Who cares about that? We've all seen bugs. What about the art this guy's put together? The bowl and the hot sauce. Oh, it's quite a collection he's got going. Even what's behind him.

I'm like, is that a natural? Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? My God. Where do you think this is? Definitely. Cleveland. Yeah.

I was going to say Yucca Valley. No, this is. Well, it's an Asian. Thailand. Oh, yeah. Good for him though. Getting out there and making a video of it. Here's the thing.

I'll say this. He's in shape. Yeah, he is definitely in shape. He's the Anthony Bourdain of Bug People. Yeah. Doesn't say much. Doesn't say much. Not much on the talking, but.

No, he does not say much. He's too busy trying to. Oh, no. Oh, man. I know a thin guy that poops like this every two weeks. That is exactly what you look like if you don't poo for two weeks. That is probably Annie's face. Yeah.

Can we have somebody just took Annie's face and put it all over this guy's videos? Oh my God. Yeah. You can email it to your mom's podcast at gmail.com and the subject Annie face replacement. There you go. Thanks, Tom. Good morning, Tiktok. Happy Thursday.

Hope everyone had a great night last night and ready for a great day today. It's almost weekend. So let's get ready one more day to the weekend and let's get excited for a three day weekend. Have a blessed. My God. Is that the guy that jumped off the roof? Look at his legs. How they're stuck.

His enthusiasm is totally doesn't match his body anymore. He's fucking thrilled that guy. This guy. Happy Thursday and it's almost the weekend. Some people's Tiktok is just amazing. This is one of them. This is amazing. Yeah.

He just does so much great. I guess that's a stitch. Is that a stitch one? I don't know. He's standing in his garage. Yeah. Somebody's stolen a suit jacket. His message is just like, let's just get through today.

Guys. Guys. We got to get to the weekend. Guys, are you excited that the weekend's here? Oh man. So a lot of you may not realize this, but TPE does in fact stain. So I'll show you a little bit of some doll maintenance 101 tips. So here's how my doll looks right now and if you look on the leg over here, you'll notice

a slight, and they pull it up like right about on here and right here is a little bit of a stain. I did some toothpaste removal earlier on my other leg. I'm good on this one. On my fingers. There was some. That's enough for me. Thank you.

I'm shocked and surprised that guy fucks kids dolls. That was, yeah. I like these wearing gloves. Oh, he really takes care of these dolls, man. Does he fuck them? Of course. I mean, you got to fuck your dolls. Okay, I apologize.

I'm sorry. I fucked this doll like 16 times, 16 times. Samantha is going to try for her first time to actually knock me out using just the sound and the energy projection. Let me get this out of the way. Please do. He takes care of himself too, this black belt. Definitely looks like a high level athlete.

Looks like a potato on sticks. Just use energy now. Flip them. Flip them. Set them up. Set them up. Oh, my God. Man.

Wow. And some people are shocked that QAnon has actually a thing. I'm okay. Damaged, but good. Is that a lot of energy, sir? Why would you throw that ball of energy at Mick? Do you follow that channel on Instagram? Which one?

Is it Mick Dojo Life? Is this it? Well, it's all stuff like this. I mean, I'm sure. Karma's, I might have to follow it now. Oh, it's phenomenal. Are they pretending or are they like, do they know they're pretending? Yeah, it's Mick Dojo Life, MC.

Yeah, yeah. That's it. And it's just showing martial arts nonsense, you know, like people claiming that they're showing you like something real. Didn't that, that's what martial arts used to be. And then all of a sudden it turned into actual real stuff. People actually fighting. Remember?

Yeah, yeah. You're like 70s and 80s. It was like. Oh, yeah. It was just like parading around. Yeah. Yeah. It's just people doing this.

Yeah, you can close this one. So do you think all four of them own hot tubs? For sure. Absolutely. You can fuck every one of their wives. Yeah. Even the ladies. Even the ladies' wives.

Yeah. Oh my God. So wait, tell me, tell me people where they can start here and like you're telling me the podcast thing. So there's a podcast called Sword and Scale. Yeah, which is really well known. It's a true crime podcast, mostly murder. And now I'm a part of the after show, me and another guy, Matt Fondalier.

We do an after show on these episodes and starting July. So it'll be like a companion to the Sword and Scale show. It's a rewind show. That's cool. Yeah, we do a rewind show. We talk about that episode and that crime and whatever it was. And I would say stupid stuff and get us into trouble all the time. And Mike Boudet, who does Sword and Scale, comes on every so often and we just talk about

these murders because they're just out of control. It's kind of like Dateline, but he takes it another step. It's nothing hold back and he does these investigations. It's a really good podcast. Does he actually investigate them? Yeah, he's got a crew and they do interviews and stuff like that and they go out and they talk to people that were involved in these things and really get to deep of it and it's just people are people are fucking weird, man.

Weird. Yeah. So if you like true crime and then if you like my stupidness, check that out. That's awesome. It's the Sword and Scale Rewind. Sword and Scale Rewind and don't forget you can see Ian Bagg at the Ontario Improv July 1st through 3rd. If you've never seen him live, it is an experience.

You definitely should go. More shows coming up on the site, I'm assuming, right? Yeah, IanBagg.com and thank you for, like, honest to God, your people have been so kind to me. They've been coming out to shows and saying nice things to me. Dude, it's all because of you, man. No, it's you guys. You're hilarious.

You've always been. You guys, I just want to say nice things, but you know what? No. I'm so happy that that's happening. So definitely support Ian, go to his shows, listen to the podcast and thanks for stopping by, man. Thanks for having me. One more question.

What kind of toilet paper do you use after two weeks and not shitting? You mean like what brand? Yeah. Soft? Do you hose yourself down or what do you do? I am a, what is it? It's Charmin. Charmin triple, triple roll.

Is it cleanup crazy after a two-week check? Is it blood? No, no blood. Is it crazy? It takes long. Yeah, it's a long process, but I mean, I got the process down at this point, you know? Sure. Two hours.

Put it in the sink and then you wipe and then you do the wet wipe and then you do the dry wipe. We've got to get you a tushy in there. Anybody else? So spray your hole down, you know? Anybody else here put it in the sink? It's feet. I don't know.

You can hear him say that? Yeah, I know. Everything with him is different. What do you put in the sink? The toilet paper. Like you wet it. He's saying he's wet. Oh, okay.

I thought afterwards. He puts his asshole in the sink? Yeah. I thought he was like put the asshole in the sink. Wash that down. You know the standard thing where you crawl into a sink and you put your asshole into the spout? Yeah.

Curved up. Yeah. He probably could fit in there. Oh, he's in great shape. He's a good-looking man. Yeah. Yeah. And nothing slows him down.

No? Nothing. He's never said this before he went out. Just a second. I got to go to the bathroom. I'm going to take a shit. I'll see you in three hours, bro. You go right to the event with him.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Girls, he's available. Available. Let him eat your ass. All right. Ian, thank you, man. All right.

I've had enough of you. Thanks for having me on your Black Panther Party Show. I love you, man. I love you. All right. Bye, guys. I'm going to go home with Zoro. You're a thug.

You want to come move in? Your friend can move in with you, man. Free rent to get a decent of a kid. Fuck me. Kiss on me. Beat me. Home, you know. You see me when I come over today and try it out.

Try it out, man. If you're not building, try it out. You want to fuck a piss on me? Try it out. I'm the Black Eye. Free rent. Rent. Rent.

Rent. Try it out. I'm going to do fuck the lot, man. Free rent. Rent. Rent. Rent. Rent.

Rent. Rent. Rent. Try out. F**k there. Hey, you wanna play tic tac? Kill him up this man. Oh, tic tack.

So then you put X as X.