Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 611 - Russell Peters - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Download Best Fiends FREE today on the Apple App Store or Google Play - Head to https://squarespace.com/MOM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Visit https://expressvpn.com/YOURMOM and you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN FREE. - Policygenius has saved customers an average of $1,250 per year on their home and auto insurance. Head to https://policygenius.com to get started right now. - Go to https://babbel.com and use promo code MOM for an extra three months of Babbel FREE. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “Yourmom” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. HIGH AND TIGHT!! Russell Peters joins Tom Segura for this week's YMH. They discuss boxing, hip-hop, what it's like hanging out with the king of Jordan, getting intimate on flights, and much more. They watch videos of a dude announcing his mayoral run on the way to jail, unintelligible drunk Southern guys, a man flipping out at a block party, Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse breaking his arm, a Russian back massage, and Christina P's TikTok curations.

I'm gonna get you and Christine if she's able if she's mobile again. I mean Bring this Christine Christine's on point She just says the right amount, you know, not too much not too little What's up there Chomo? Hey, how's it going there Chomos? It's great to be back for another fun filled episode of your mom's house pom-cats He just lost your life. Hopefully you didn't I'm here, of course and with me as always is my lovely co-host Christina P I really like your shirt

Looks like it's some of our new merch that Tom G mashup The tg mashup Really cool. I'm feeling it. I'm liking it. It feels like slick stuff needs stuff and raw stuff There's all kinds of great things happening today's episode. I'm very happy to be here with the great team I have a great guest coming but And remind me by the way, I gotta tell you something about G that finally happened. Yeah

Yep, okay. Yeah, can't wait to hear this as soon as that's right after the break here remind me Where is the thing I wanted to play it's here. Okay, so let's just get right into it Let's get right into the opening clip and get into the show. Here you go Come on, but I took it because God told me to Who is Randy don't bring anyone loving to this I I Jeffrey is full of charisma man, I mean he's being taken out of a jail cell or the jail

Transported and he's like fight a woman like you wouldn't steal it. Come on. I love this guy He's like I'll steal your heart. Isn't that funny Christina? Yeah, so I think there's there a second clip there. Yeah, yeah I Jeffrey's the shit I really like him this guy's no fun. This guy came out. Yeah, he doesn't even want to play Jeffrey's like I did everything. I like that That's that's that's fucking fun If you steal shit like you knowing these deal shit and then you go and I'll steal your heart

Yeah, I'm a fan. I believe him. I believe him, too. I bet you he's got a long list of ladies. He's been with yeah Absolutely stolen every single heart. He's stolen every heart. I'm such a fan of Jeffrey Jeffrey when you get out you give us a shout, okay? Because you got it you have it man, he's got that thing you can't how much time you think he's doing I don't know much time. He's oh how much I think man like on stage and I was like fucking Probably start with five minutes I don't know. I mean he's clearly in the system. They're like, hey Jeff They know him, but this isn't a violent crime. I think right with good behavior. Maybe we'll see him in like two three years Yeah, maybe maybe less maybe less. I hope you have a short bid, but

Very funny Jeffrey very funny so much so much. Oh, yeah, I want to tell you about G Yeah, what's going on with that? Can you pull up G's Instagram? So What used to happen is I would I didn't I would just go there and read stuff sometimes, you know the comments and it'd be really funny Every once in a while I would post I would comment and what I noticed is that my comment Could get liked a bunch But like it would and then it would be like a hundred comments underneath it But if you went to read them, they would all be gone

Like they had just kind of like I don't know put some type of shadow ban Yeah, now My comment appears or I could see it. No likes. No nothing. So now it's completely Welcome to being restricted. Yeah, so if you hit can you hit that latest one there? I wonder if you can even see that It's there. Maybe you can't Does it's not the way it works is only it's only visible to me. Okay. Yeah, so so mine's not even there anymore That is hilarious, but that also means that they upped it one like you know I mean that used to leave used to be visible and

And like you can see the lights and now it's but they haven't they didn't block me Which is like you could block somebody. Well, yeah, they don't want to hurt your feelings Well, but what they didn't realize is that this is really upset me. So What are we gonna do? Well, we're not gonna do anything But I don't like this G I Don't like that everyone's having fun without me And I think You should unrestrict T-buns from commenting on your account and I sure

Hope that the people who listen to this and comment don't encourage you to unrestrict me That's it. That's all I wanted to say I just want to be part of the fun I want to have a good time again, man. Well, this feels like it's leading to the most fun. We've ever had with You're gonna find out G You're about to find you got I got friends in some high places. How about that shit? Cannot believe that he fucking restricted me do you think he even knows what's going on? I think he hired people to find out what's going on. You think he ever looks at his comments and he's like what the fuck well Cuz like I mean, that's what's like what's happened is

For years Yeah, you know that he's been confused him and his whole team are just like what are all these sentences that don't make sense to us Yeah, why none of this makes any sense and for the first time I think like a month ago because I think I was telling a friend about this and like look man We've never asked people to do this But let me show you G's account and I would scroll and this was the first time we're on the second scroll I found something that wasn't like a YMH reference. Yeah, I was just like a oh All right genuine comments are starting to bleed through now. He must be like coming up getting on to it. Oh

Yeah, I think it's it's finally come to a point where he's like I need to do something Maybe he restricted things like where are the bodies and stuff like that like those phrases There's definitely words that he is now Well, I'll tell you what G got you my camera through So, yeah, oh That's great. That's actually one of these comments right here. Oh really touch my camera through the front scarth Dude the comments are the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life Sometimes when I just need a laugh, I just go here to read. I mean look at these

It's like I got a DUI baby Sakasu flay What does that one say? That just says site. I think that's probably just a bot, but I mean like any of that. I'm coming up in May Garth, what did you do to Christina? Where is my family Garth? That's where it spits. What did you why did you hurt Christina? Don't be skinned stingy G home here now What did you do to Christine? Yeah, I mean, it's just like it's always it's like page after pet you scroll every single thing

It's really the it's the most wholesome fun. I've ever had On social media just knowing that this exists wholesome is the only way to describe it. It is wholesome. It's so fun. It's so sweet Garth and show me that you like me unrestrict my account Don't be stingy come on man What are the chances that they unrestrict me I Mean if we get a campaign going what uh what hashtag you want? Justice for Tom Justice for Tom is good

Unban unrestrict Tom unrestrict Tom unrestrict Tom's a good one on restrict T There you go leave T alone G That might be my favorite one so far God damn it. I Cannot believe you did that G Mmm Well hopefully

Hopefully he gets he's gonna get the message Hopefully the team unrestricts me without a doubt. Yeah, yeah, and I'm not writing like curse words or anything on his page Yeah, I wonder how they connected the dots because I mean like they connected them But I mean we're able to see all these like I'm none of these You like accounts are what's the net? What's the previous post say like the one before this? What's that one? Yeah, what's that one? Oh, that's when he got his Kennedy Center honor right Yeah, you know what's a banana split? Yep

Well, somebody go ahead James Taylor though gave him the hearts. Yep. I'ma make you cry right underneath it everything else I'll make you sleep for three days my baby. You bet. I'm coming up in May show me where it spits what? That's funny that I know How that's meant to be said there's ones that you're just like oh, that's just a word you're like no That's a reference to yeah, that's what? Just like somebody could just write different and then we know what that means Yeah, I Feel like

This guy doesn't get it as much love as he should live like 365 the 365 guy, you know work hard play hard. Yeah So he's getting lots of representation in the G comments. He sure is yeah This is America, right? That's right Garth unrestrict me Leave T alone G so hold on so run me through Run me through when you found out where the first thought first popped in your head We're like something's fishy. So it was months ago where I wrote something I Saw that it was like the bunch and I saw that there were Like a hundred comments underneath it and I went to see what they were like oh, what do people write underneath it?

And every time you hit comment It would show less comments and then you could read none of them So I was like oh none of the comments underneath my comment are visible So you couldn't read any of the comments that responded to you they responded to my comment, right? I could read everything else just not ones that were talking to you, right? Yeah, and I was like oh, but also it was still liked like, you know 900 times or something I didn't post again for like on his thing for like two months And the same thing happened again. I wrote the comment

It was liked a bunch there were comments, but when you went to read them nothing So I was like oh, it's some type of like it's some level of restriction And then the last one that I noticed was the one on the on the latest post Where I wrote something and then I went back to see it and there was zero like zero activity I was like, oh, they they restricted me So you started at probably confusion you were there for a few seconds Yeah, and then how quickly did you go to and I don't know if this is did you go to anger or happiness when you found out You were restricted. No, I was depressed. I was so sad. I was sad

So how quickly from confused to sad did you go? It took me it took me a moment. I mean at first I was like wait what like No, nobody and then I was like, oh It's not no one's seeing this I'm not allowed to participate anymore and then and then I got bummed out. How dare they take away your fun It's the most fun. I've ever had and it's wholesome like it's hurting. No one It's does not hurt them. He's not aware of come on What is this hurting his stadium sales?

How much money do you think he's put into trying to clean up his Instagram account? I don't know cuz there's no way that number zero I don't think he's aware of what's being spent. I Think the team is just like we got to do something about this Do you think the team scrambles the other what other social media does he have? Well, Facebook, I think he's got to be big on Facebook Right, I mean that's that's that seems like a real That's the right place for a garth. That's where all the Garth fans are. Yeah

Let's see what these comments are like. Yeah Are those normal Yep, yep, these do you seem like genuine comments. Well guys Facebook calm slash Garth Brooks If you want sounds like we kind of make need to make a company move Okay, listen to me Garth you've just ruined your life Okay As far as his job goes as far as your job goes this is not a threat Okay

Your fire okay, you didn't follow protocol Yeah, your comments on Facebook are gonna look a lot different real soon And I'm all for it and I better not be restricted there No, it's gonna be a lot of fun. I Can't wait for this. I really can't I know it's gonna be really fun. No. Yeah, this is the new cycle It's you know, we've up and waiting for it. Let me tell you something you ban me there Gee, we'll fucking find you I will find you on tiktok snap chap Twitter You can go back and open a fucking Myspace account. I'll go I'll be there, too

You cut me out of the fun. I'm gonna make fun I Really not happy about this We gotta make this right I gotta make it right. Um, all right We will be back in a moment with our guests very excited and yeah, here's a quick break and We're back and so is our guests coming back for a second time The great the mighty the powerful the hilarious Russell Peters is here everybody. Did you read that? Yep, I read it right in the camera. It's in the camera

Yeah, it's good to see you man. Hi Tommy. Hi, it's good to see you brother. You too Christina's looking tired This is the best she's ever looked in my opinion She's really Hungarian looking today tributes throughout the show. Yeah, the tits are out and the mouth is open and that's what we like to see But her toes are away and that really sucks. That's too bad Let's pull up some good feet to look at Not now We'll get to it Dude, you are I've been wanting to I don't know if everybody knows this like how I met you. I met you

Dude, I think it was Six was it oh six. It was oh six. Oh six Palm Beach. West Palm Beach improv. I Have Then you took me to well, we did a bunch of dates here. You took me to England which was wild That was good. It's kind of like I keep thinking about how the longer that I do stand up and And just work in this business the more you go like holy shit when somebody has longevity like they stay You know doing it and putting it out like do you feel like because you have been on top of stuff for so long

Like is it just that you put in the work? Is that basically as simple as it is? Well, you got to put in the work Excuse me. No matter what you do. You got to put in the work. Yeah, that's always, you know, you know that of course So that goes without saying but then my I don't want to call him my fan base I say the people that come and see me. Yeah, they're very loyal to me and I'm very loyal to them You know and everyone's always coming in especially in the world. We live in now Everyone's like Russell you're gonna be able to still do this type of comedy you do because of you know the world We live in are you gonna are you gonna change? I'm like, I'm doing it 32 years I can't fucking change now. No and the people that are coming to see me are coming to see me do just that

Yeah, I mean the cancel people were never gonna come see you or I right they weren't they didn't give a shit about us All they want to do is cancel us in sure they were never gonna buy a ticket So we're not losing a ticket to them and you they couldn't cancel you if they wanted to oh, they could I'm sure they could try They'd have to fabricate something and really do yeah But also the people that come to see you would be like I'm still going to see him Yeah, and I talk about it at the shows now, so it's nice. Yeah, I tell him You know if I change I'm gonna lose you and I'm not gonna gain new people right I'm just gonna really lose my my audience because I got scared of this at the fucking gooch because it's the invisible bully

Yeah, do you do you feel that thing though of like? I've been it's been going so well for so long. Does that does that like fuck with you at some point? Could just keep going that that's more the question. I'm like how the fuck does this keep going yeah Oh, really they want me they still and still sold out. I'm like that's amazing It is amazing. I'm like I just did eight shows and in Irvine all weekend right, you know We added two extra shows. Yeah extra show Thursday extra Friday. This is still going It's still going and it was it was great. You know, that's why my voice is a little Yeah, and pony today. It's a little horse. Here's the thing

I always feel like as thrilling as it is to do like the big big shows, you know, like it's obviously amazing There's still nothing like a great club weekend. Oh, yeah, if you're a comedian. It's like yeah, it's the best It takes you back to your roots. Yeah, it makes you feel normal again Yeah, but then you get a nice big paycheck at the end. You're like, ah, there it is. Yeah I felt normal and I feel great again and you fucking you really because I've seen you obviously live a bunch of times like you actually Talk to people and I've seen I've watched you like build stuff on stage. Yeah, but like that's that's how I write Yeah, right, but I mean like you'll engage people not ever some people

I mean figure stuff up on stage, but you'll do it also while talking to people right like the material comes from those conversations Yeah, that's last night, you know, because that's you know There's always the same way that we all do the same shit. We'll write it We'll figure it out then we'll say it and then while we're saying it each night We'll say it's slightly different just to see yeah, if we come up with the right variation last night I came up with something I've been doing this working on this bit for about six months seven months now and last night I said something different I go there it is right there. That's the best feeling

Why didn't I think of that before? Yeah. Yeah, the best feeling is is like god There's sometimes there's bits I work on for like a year or more and I get married to saying it that way Yeah, and then usually it's actually because I forgot yeah, or I'm not paying attention in the moment Yep, and I say something different or my mind just goes this way and then you're like, oh There's the answer. Yeah, there it is much better there So it's such a like it's such a unique people who don't do it never understand that feeling. Yeah, like it is euphoria Oh, yeah, last night like I'm still buzzing about it. Yeah. Yeah, or you get one of those lines If you figure it out on Friday and Saturday you show up people like you're in a good mood

You're like, yeah, I figured out a word last night You know or you say it right and then you go to say it again, then you screw it up the next time Yeah, what the fuck did I do? Yeah, do you write things down? Not really not really no I'll make a note in my phone. I have a ton of notes of unfunny things that I've written down I've done that the other thing I've done is I get high and I I do voice notes like I'll talk and at the time I'll be like this is Some high-level comedy shit that is gold and then the next day you're listening to it You're like, oh my god, I have to delete this make sure no one ever hears this

It's like embarrassing to myself to hear myself stormy like and then you know like just Ramble on and on thinking that I'm coming up with some brilliant concept. I wrote a joke 25 years ago I was driving to a gig and I thought it was the funniest joke ever and to this day It's never even gotten a smile not even so I don't even bother with it But it was I was driving was driving it was in the middle of nowhere And there's a big empty field and it had a sign said lots for sale and I was like lots of what and that was it And I no wonder it doesn't work, it's not fucking funny Dude you I remember that you used to encourage me to do this joke that would get me into trouble which one Latino

Oh, that's my favorite. I tell people that joke all the time We'll get so mad at me man. That's my favorite. I tell people that joke all the time They go go. What's Tom's act like before I go. He used to have this really great joke about Latino computers There was it was a play it was a place on I Want to say it was on vine or between vine and fountain, you know between fountain and like Santa and it was called Latino computers. That's what it said on a sign So I the joke was I used to do it real slow and come real slow Do you still do that style?

Yeah, I mean I do I do you seem like more fluid here and then on stage you go into a different Tom I'm usually I go. I'm usually a step slower on stage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it would go By the way, does it still exist if you type it in? I was just looking for it No, I got the board at the store. I saw I Saw a place called Latino computers And I was like let me do the joke for you. You know, you remember the joke. Hell yeah, I remember the joke I saw a story. I'm gonna do it at your pace. I saw a store called Latino computers Latino computers. Is that really how you really want to sell your store?

like These computers aren't really aren't very fast, but they work really hard And then the audience would always go and you go hey, it's better than black computers They don't work at all and they just talk a bunch of shit See now I took the onus off of you. Yeah. Hey, I didn't say that you guys not today Man, yeah, there was a I was I did that joke one night at the Imelda's I sort of remember and this Latino Comet got fucking fired up really start heckling me from like that booth area, right then in the hallway was like I bet you wouldn't say that shit on the

Whatever he thought you were white. That's why yeah, I was like all right, man Like what he was you know, I go sure I would I would do that joke on any show at the time I said, you know remember the back thing do you remember this about I Think when we were doing shows in Florida and when I realized you could speak Spanish Maybe about a year or two later. I took you on the road with me somewhere and and I was like Tom Why don't you start doing those like Latin shows that comedy start the laugh factory? I don't wanna No, I'm not gonna do that. I go. I'm telling you would be amazing if you did an entire act in Spanish

Oh, right, and you were like, I don't know. I don't think that's and now look at you I'm doing special special in Spanish during in Spanish. I know dude. Yeah, you you could see the future I was like dude. I'm telling you. It's a huge market there for a gas market. Yeah. No, it's fun And here's the thing you know how after a while like you've been doing it 32 years There is a certain obviously like level of comfort you have on stand-up. I Have a certain level of comfort doing stand-up When I do the Spanish shows. Mm-hmm. It's like you're back at like year one. Oh, yeah, it's good The the level of focus I have to have yeah, yeah, like to do them is like, you know

I mean English I could be like, I don't know. I'll try this and if it doesn't work I don't I'll do something else but in Spanish. I'm like hyper focused. Yeah, because you don't think in Spanish exactly Yeah, yeah, so I really you can speak it but doesn't mean you think it that's true And so you I'm just like it's good for me because it makes me like really hone in on it Yeah, it's really good. I was really happy to see that Spanish special come on I mean, I didn't watch it because I don't watch that shit, but it's not out yet It's not out yet. No, I haven't shot it. Yeah, it was supposed to shoot last year I thought you had one come out last year. No, no

It was they announced it and I was supposed to shoot it then COVID shut everything down. What happened with COVID I don't know. It's this thing. It's in the air. Um, then they moved it. They said we're gonna shoot it this year And then I was like, no, we're not. Yeah, no, no, I'm not gonna do this my first Spanish special on two weeks notice Yeah, no, I was like, no, I'm gonna do a hundred shows before I shoot it and so then they're like, okay So now we're gonna move it to next year. Yeah, so whatever. Do they still give you money already? No, they didn't know they held on Not till it's delivered. They also were like, we're not gonna pay you like it's English. Yeah You're gonna get paid like to help. Yeah, exactly. They're like you speak Spanish. We pay you Spanish speaking rates Yeah, and and they don't even give you an invoice

No, they just pay you cash. Yeah, it's cash. Here's a thousand dollars. Thanks for the special Unreal man. Um, so before we go any further your podcast People can subscribe on apple podcast wherever they get podcasts. You're on youtube new episodes come out every thursday It's called culturally cancelled with russell peters culturally cancelled with russell peters It's on eye heart radio on eye heart radio. Where are you guys on? I think we're on a I mean, we're on every platform You're everything. I mean you guys are you guys are kind of like big dogs. You know, I mean you got you got you got You got a whole set. You know what I mean? Yeah, I shoot in my backyard. Yeah, but that's the way to that's the way to start That's how I shoot in my backyard. And you see how fancy your cameras are. I don't have those. We use iPhones

That's all you need. We don't have angles. It's just like eddie. Yeah my assistant. Oh, how's eddie eddie He got into a motorcycle accident. No, he's fine. He just hurt his foot. He's okay. Yeah, he's milking it, you know, yeah Yeah, he's milking it Eddie. I like eddie. Fucking eddie That's a long time that he's with you, man. He's been with me 12 years 13 years 12 or 13 years 12. Yeah, one of those That's a long time. Yeah, most people can't keep someone around that long. Yeah, I know. Well, he doesn't have any options Okay, and he knows too much

He knows a lot. Well the problem. No, I mean, he knows too many codes and everything like that He knows things in my life. I don't know right like hey, I'll have to call him. Hey eddie I need to get money out of the bank. How do I do that? And he's like here's how I do it Here's how I've been taking it from you for the past 12 years Dude, you also, um, I've mentioned this before but So I I you know when I think back to being a kid and listening to music. How old are you now? I'm 42. Wow Um, how old are you? 51 this year 51 when when I when we were in the uk You turned 40 I turned 40 and they misspelled russell on the birthday cake. Correct. Remember that. That's correct

And craig g performed remember craig g performed. That's right. I'm see craig g juice crew shout out to the whole juice crew Spin bad was still alive then spin bad. Wow, right? Spin bad and scratch were on that. Yeah, man Rest in peace spin bad. That was really sad. Mm-hmm really sad. That was uh Not one of my favorite times in life. No, November of last year. That was November. Yeah, not even that long and then I had his uh He died on like November 10th and then uh, I think like two weeks later was Thanksgiving So I flew his his wife and kids out for Thanksgiving. They were delicious How are they they're good, they're good. I mean they you know, I'm uncle russell. So they're happy they're

You know, they know they can call me anytime. Yeah. Yeah, and they do Yeah, hey, uncle like his son will come. Hey, uncle Uh, I got in trouble in my girlfriend's house. Uh, because I didn't know that we weren't supposed to shower together I go what the fuck made you think you were supposed to shower together. He's 16 I'm like, you're not supposed to shower at her house with in her house. You you do that somewhere else You don't do that at her house. That's a big no-no Yeah, we did it at your house. I go that's my house. It's not her house Is that

Did the dad come in? No, it's not a movie. Tom. Well, that's sometimes the dad. Oh, oh, I thought you meant like did the dad come in and then No, fucker. No, no, no. I meant like did the dad catch him? No, I think it was I think I might have not I don't really know the details of it, but I was just like, dude, don't don't do that shit anymore. You got to I got caught at a park when I was like 16 with a girl in a car And uh police though, it's fucking your your boner goes down real quick. Oh, yeah, even at 16 Yeah, because it was like a light and I was like, who the fuck and then he was like Then when I sit up in the flashlight kind of moves, I was like, oh and you see the uniform you're like, oh, shit

And your boner goes I'm going to jail Yeah, I had that happen to me in toronto back in the early 90s Really in my car In the back seat And then I hear duk duk duk, and you're like, oh shit. All right, never mind cops Got here. Keep it moving. Keep it moving. Yeah, I was trying but you stopped me Yeah

I wanted to say, do you know another park where you guys aren't where's the craziest place you've had sex? um On my penis for the most part I don't know. I've had some Interesting times. Yeah, I remember getting a handjob on a flight from the girl beside me and we just met on the flight You're the fucking third person that I've heard this from and I'm like, what the fuck and it was an economy Many many moons ago. This is a yeah, maybe about 20 years ago So you like you you're on okay set the whole thing up for me. Okay. I'm

I had the window seat And this and there was a cute girl. They had the middle seat beside me And then there was some rando on the end, right? Okay, and she was like, hey Can I get the window seat? I was like, I looked at it. I was like, yeah, you're cute. Yeah, go ahead. Sure. I'll take the middle You know, so now you're a seat closer to the rando She's at the window, right? So you're closer also to this stranger the guy Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, because now he's asleep leaning out towards the aisle. Okay So do you remember where the flight's from? Yeah, it was from london. It was from london to toronto

For london england. Yeah london england. So you're okay. So it's a long ass flight. It was like a six hour flight. Okay So we're talking and she's telling me she's coming back from something and she was showing me some watch she got And I was making my my little jokes and we're talking about people we know in toronto And then she's like, is it okay if I put my head on your shoulder and sleep and I was like, yeah, sure And so she puts her head on my shoulder. She sleeps for a little bit She wakes up and she goes, you're really nice and I'm like, thanks and And I'm like and I got I got this raging boner, right? And then she she just kisses me and then

And and she goes are you cold and I go, yeah A little bit she goes there get another blanket with me and that's when it all started And then uh, it's good times very cool never got her number never called her never saw her again That is so fantastic and the uh, yeah, let's it was great. It was great times the um, this dude who I know Said he's on a flight The late is like a late flight. I think it's like uh, new york to la or something And he's also an economy meets this girl

She is in she's tells me she's engaged um, they have this talk and then You know blanket thing too like to get under a blanket. Yep She gives them a hand job And then as they leave the like as that, you know, they leave the plane they're walking towards um Luggage, you know the the luggage her fiance is there waiting for and has like a flowers and like gives her a big That's like savage dude

You know, you know if I was him I would have been like, ah, let me give you guys a hand. Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah, there's yeah, you know, it's funny. There's something to be said about economy. Yeah It may be uncomfortable, but you're more likely to get a hand job and I don't know why the I mean that should be the slogan Their line should be saying that do you remember the movie crazy people? Yeah Yeah, that was remember the movie just was all about those kinds of slogans slogans. Yeah. Yeah It was like Porsches for people who like to get hand jobs from women they barely know

Amen Yeah, I haven't got one in my Porsche. That sucks. Oh, yeah, is that you out there? I thought what are all these fancy cars you keep posting on your instagram? That's that's press cars They're not my cars with a given day to drive. Yeah, I got hooked up my buddy matt. Um the smoking tire. He's uh, he's a Autojournalist and he connected me to a couple Press people that were like, yeah, well, you know, you have a significant following or whatever. So How long do they give to you for like a day? No, usually you get like a

The more expensive the car the less time you get it. Right. So the longest I've gotten something is like a week Which one was that the mclaren? No, that was a lotus of aura gt. Um, mclaren's that was really it's a fun car Lotus is a Genuine sports car in that You know low to the ground power not overwhelming power Torque though torquey handles great Like a real sporty drive. No frills. Like there's no like extra shit in the car. Yeah, no gps. No, no weighs it down Yeah, everything weighs air conditioning weighs it down, but it's a it's a fun ride the the mclaren's

so like If you get like a mclaren gt or you know 620 or something, they're gonna let you have it like four days, maybe five The 765 they're like we're picking that shit up tomorrow. Yeah, yeah So the 720 I got for like two or three days But they're all I mean, they're so fun. You're driven. Have you driven those you driven a bunch of I test drove Um, mclaren once and I really liked it it fucking rips man, but I had a Porsche at the time and I was like I don't know if I'd be if this would be a lateral move or what kind of Porsche was I had a 911 turbo s So yeah, that was rip

So and I was like, I don't know if this seems like a backwards move But I like the way the door's open and like the fact that it's not the most common car But it's sexy they must be on sale now because I see a lot of wrappers with them Yeah, they it seems to be like the uh, let me stunt on everybody Yeah, like you can get one for like 1800 bucks a month or something. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's different I mean, there's there's obviously they have uh I don't think they call it the ultimate series or they have like the p1 the senate like they're Yeah, they're not gonna give those out. They're not giving those out but

That 720 s is pretty magical man if you want like a You want to get the spider like a convertible? That's just a perfect sports car. What's the ticket on that? Uh, I think they starred at like three to 350. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. It's a lot No, those are That's rustle a little up a few years ago would do that. Yeah rustle now. I was like, no a little more frugal. Yeah Yeah, yeah, well, you've you've done it all I did it all and then kovat kind of reminded me what I needed what I didn't need Yeah, and I got rid of a bunch of shit. Did you oh man

Was it that kind of like it was because kovat affected everybody differently for you It was like kind of an awakening in a way. It was an awakening. It was like your monthly bill is so high unnecessarily Yeah And it was I didn't notice it because I was always working so it would always get paid Yeah, and then when I wasn't I was just hammering money into my accountant was like you're gonna go broke Really? Yeah, you got to get rid of shit. So I started getting rid of shit Would you start like selling like properties and so I got rid of houses got rid of cars watches

I got rid of all kinds of shit and now doesn't it feel better It it hurts your ego. It hurts your ego more than it hurts anything else Right, there's times where I look in my closet and like fuck. I wish I still had that other watch. Oh, right You know, but whatever there's times where I'm driving and I go, I wish I had my Porsche right now. Yeah Oh, well, whatever. Yeah, but I mean, don't you feel like because I feel more mature now You feel more mature, but don't you also feel responsible like there's so when you start to make money And you go well, there's things I've wanted right or things. Yeah stuff Sometimes you go that the uh the pursuit of the thing. Yes. Is the rye is the rush. Yeah, then you have it and you're like, yeah, it's cool

Yeah, there's a lot of things I got You know, I had about three Rolls Royces. I want like not not at one time like over the course of oh, okay a few years And every time I had one I would get rid of them early because I was like, I feel like a douche driving this Yeah, yeah, they're really dope to have and say I got a Rolls Royce But when you're driving it you go people look at you and you go Yeah, I feel like a dick. I feel like you get like being an indian guy. That's cool Get more permission to have crazy or shit though

Like I feel like if I were in a Rolls Royce people would be like what in the fuck Like they would not but you would get a pass. No because I feel like people look at me and go look at that entitled prick. I'm like, no, I was poor growing up. You don't understand Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, you got to look at it. You got to ride it a certain way and I just felt too old in it What's your what's what kind of car because there is that thing about cars where like I feel like every time I see a Ferrari Yeah, I feel like I'm looking at a piece of art

Right like I could I could stand if there you had a Ferrari out there We could go and I could literally stand and look at it for 45 minutes with you Just like you would look at like some the Mona Lisa or they're fun to look at Yeah, but then I feel like getting in one and driving it. I would feel super self-conscious anytime I've gotten into a Ferrari I've hurt my balls. So I'm like, I can never get a Ferrari like sitting on them. Yeah, I've crushed my nuts sitting getting in I'm like, fuck this car. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, there's something about it too that When you see it

Usually you see it driven you the guy that's driving. You're like, look at this fucking. Yeah, that's the thing too when I was in the Rolls Royce I'm like, look at this dickhead. Yeah, and I'd be in one looking at them. It's what I do sure to the guy next to you Yeah, I'm like, I gotta go However, I do want the Rolls Royce SUV. I still yeah I keep I've been my eye in that for a while. I think that's a good it's a good play for me I think Ethan pulled up in that like even suplay no, Ethan Klein The h3 podcast guy, right? I was like he's like

Because he's not really a car guy and he was like, oh, I got this Rolls Royce and I was like what? Out there and I was like, oh, yeah, it was that Rolls SUV. Oh, I love it. Yeah. I love that. It's nice, man It was beautiful Yeah, I like that. I think because it's because it's a little It's a big-ass SUV, but it's it's still not as obnoxious looking as a Rolls Royce's Yeah, however, it does have the nice big Rolls Royce front grille. It does. It's a solid chance I'm never gonna get one, but we're not anytime soon. It sounds like it's it's it's kicking around in your head It's kicking around in my head, but I got other things. I got to take care of first. Okay. All right. Yeah

There'll be no new purchases in the meantime. You know what I did last year. I had a uh, I had the Lamborghini Urus Yeah, I remember I remember being in the parking lot to stop your one moment at the comedy store And you were inside and I walked out and one of the door guys was like, I don't know how to put this into drive And I was like, oh, he's hit there. I hit the paddle man. He's like, how'd you know that? I was like, look who you're talking to I used to work at latino computers. I used to work at latino computers Uh, sorry. So you had the Urus last year? I had the Urus last year and then uh, I traded it in For the for the Audi RS Q8, which is the exact same car, right same like the exact same car

Identical car for 150,000 cheaper. There you go. I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna do this instead Yeah, and I didn't feel like a downgrade because I was like what I get inside. It looks exactly the same. It's an amazing vehicle Yeah, it's the same. It'll literally the exact same car It's nice to So you're like overall a more mature guy now Yeah, I had to be a fun funny guy, but I'm saying like yeah, I mean I had to you know Life when life actually kicks you in the cock. Yeah, you go. Oh, yeah. Okay. I count. I understand now And now you have love in your life. I got love in my life. I got a great woman. Yeah, I got a Christina

Yeah, I'm happy for not as brittle as yours. I don't think hopefully you fucking you both of you brittle motherfuckers We're both brittle, but she can't even take a right cross. It's fucking. I know, you know, you can't even take a layup, so That was I really didn't I thought it was like some sort of stunt you had pulled. I know I know How are you now? Um, I mean, I'm are you 100% now. No, no, no, definitely not. Uh, are you walking funny because you're sitting down? No, no, I walk I walk normal I mean you always walked funny anyway, and I mean you kind of had that little bop to you

I have a little bop You're almost like a tippy-toe bop, but yeah, do you still tippy-toe? You used to tippy-toe Did I tiptoe? Not a lot just like a little bit of hoop I don't know. I'm down some weight. Maybe it was just being fat that I walked like that. No, maybe yeah You had the waddle, you know, yeah like a fat waddle. Yeah, like waddle you do tomorrow. Look, I got shit in my shoes And I'm trying to kick it out. Oh Um, yeah, I don't know. I think I walk pretty normal now. Oh good. Yeah Very happy with that. But like my my quad is still

You know Fraction of the size my left one really hit atrophies quick, man. It was in a straight race for six weeks You take it off and you're like, oh, it hasn't been used in six weeks. That's not that long I mean, oh, yeah, eddie was showing me on him because uh Eddie has a motorcycle and he was driving and a woman did a u-turn right in front of him And clipped he tried to avoid her so she just clipped his right foot And it's pretty nasty his uh his toe dislocated And the bone pushed right through the skin, but he never broke his toe

The bone pushed through the bone pushed right through the burst the skin open But never broke the toe. So they just popped it back into place and sewed him up and And so he's his right foot. He hasn't been able to walk on. He's been you know, in that scooter with your leg up Yeah, everything and uh, Christina just got that. Yeah, we have it at the house then It's actually pretty fun to ride around in the house. Yeah, she's really happy about it. She calls it her scoot scoot Yeah, tell her to be careful because they tip over really easy Yeah, and I was like she goes now I can get around quickly. I'm like, no No, no, I don't want you to break your other fucking. Yeah ankle. So no, let's not

Yeah, so uh, he was showing me his calf is like really skinny now. I'm like, yeah, and eddie's a fat guy. So, you know Yeah, I don't it'll It takes a while to come back man. He's got one big-ass calf one rustle calf Um, what do you think that this whole because I I saw you post about your Your new love Yes, and I felt like it was like, I don't know even just looking at a post. I like it felt so Genuine and I immediately I was so happy for you. I texted you immediately when you first posted this

And um, we were talking about it for a long time. I was like, oh, this is like this is the one for us Like you just seem oh, yeah, this is uh, but it's all happening at the same time for you. You know, you're maturing and yeah It's all I mean, I mean that's all maybe part of it. I don't know You know when that when the one the bright person comes along everything starts to fall into place Yeah, and she doesn't put up with my bullshit either. You know, she's almost the same age as me. So she knows yeah She's got her own shit going on too. She's got her own her own life her own money her own kids Her own house, you know what I mean? I don't have to be like I gotta get this from my girl I might she be buying me stuff and I'm like what that kind of feels nice. It is kind of nice

In fact, I think she bought me these shoes. I'm wearing right now. That's very nice. What I do is Like I'll I'll see those ads on instagram Yeah, and then like they'll always send you the things that you like Yeah, and I'm like, oh, that's nice and I'll send it to her. I go I like And then it'll just show up three days later and I'm like, all right, that's a good lady Yeah, yeah, because I don't know how to buy honestly. I don't know how to buy things online Really? I have no clue. You just always tell someone. Yep. I tell either eddie or get me this. Yeah Anytime anybody again, like I said before anybody anytime he bought me something in the past

It was usually on my own credit card Of course, so it's nice to have somebody else's credit card to that's such a shit gift when someone's like I bought this with your card. You didn't even appreciate it. I'm like, um Yeah, yeah, I didn't appreciate getting the fucking bill a month later. Yeah, that's not a fucking gift. Yeah people really did that Are you people? Yeah, this is the first woman that never did that Like used her own money to buy use their own money. Yeah. Yeah. Now you deserve that man You deserve that and her kids are grown, you know 29 27. Oh, wow. Yeah, she's got grown ass kids an adult Yeah

Um So a lot of people who if you don't know You've always been able to do like crazy Incredible mimicking accents and everything. We play a game here sometimes we call it master of accents But we try to Actually understand what someone's saying. Okay, so I have two here I want to know if if you know what either of these guys are saying. I haven't even tried yet. So let's find out I take all that shit back. I said, I ain't jumping out of the damn tree. I ain't jumping out of the tree. I ain't jumping out of the tree. I ain't jumping out of the tree.

I ain't gonna never shot gun. But I'm telling y'all what I'm gonna do a dub game tomorrow We're gonna flip it. Here we go. You know, I'm telling you I've been around a long time. I know I can do it Come on. I can jump in the bridge. Come on. I can jump in the bridge Well, you know what he said tom. I mean, so you're from florida. Yeah There's I haven't I believe that's your old neighbor, isn't it? This is the thing Most of these that we play I'll be like, I don't know and whenever it's like dumb southern bullshit. I'm like, I know exactly what he's saying Oh, yeah, I've heard it enough to be like he is so what he's saying is that

Somebody has done something and he's saying that he can also do it So like he's like when we come back in the morning, I'll tell you how it goes Somebody else has done that tree jump thing before him and he's like I I could do that But I'm telling y'all what? I'm gonna do a dub game tomorrow. We're gonna flip it. Here we go. You know, I'm telling you I've been around a long time. I know I can do it. I know I can do that Say that that part we all understood it's been around a long time. I know I can do it Yeah, so what he's saying is though that like he's he's certain of himself that he can do what someone else has Clearly telling him. I bet you can't

He's like show me where the bridge is. I can do that thing. It's probably like a flip off of this thing So in the morning, we'll come back here and I can do it. That's what he's saying Come on. Show me the bridge. Show me the bridge. Yeah, and show me the bridge Or maybe it's a change. I'm gonna take it to the bridge. Take take take it to the bridge, man Um And then this other one so that one wasn't that crazy, but this one I I don't know what this guy's saying I think some of the bullshit people only talk shit about me. I can't hand this bullshit People I can't go in here fucking me. Don't fuck with that to the people

The people will work your whole fucking hell. That's what some type of people do Put your fucking hell Oh, I was easy to understand that one. Really? Yeah, he said I'm sick of people talking shit about me And don't fuck with Jack the Ripper. I'll rip your fucking head off For real? Yeah, listen, I think some of the bullshit people only talk shit about me. I can't hand this bullshit People I can't go in here fucking me. Don't fuck with Jack the Ripple The people will work your whole fucking hell. That's what some type of people do put your fucking hell Yeah, that's exactly what we'll do rip your fucking head off. Yeah, he got it man. Come on. This guy

But he he's I'm telling you he really is He knows accents that guy's that guy sounds Cajun is fucked. Oh, yeah, he does He does I wonder if I can find holland. I wonder if I can find he's Cajun, but does not eat cage-free People talk shit about me. I don't know. I'll tell you Fuck a man. Don't fuck with Jack the Ripper. I'll fucking head off. That's what we do around here rip the fucking head off Dude, I believe that's what he said. I think you got it Uh, I'm looking for let me see if I find another one here master

Vader See oh this guy This one I understood because again, it was dumb and southern and white and and that guy what happened to him You know He's only 14 Yeah, yeah He just this what happens when you don't go to school, man. You know, this is the importance of lotion guys That is yeah

He's basically just saying of course. I don't have the gun because I've already been locked up and I don't want to go back um This one the wall No need to be up No, that's why is that? That's not an accent. That's an impediment Hey, these guys labeled it. That one just slipped through me. And first of all, he said the wall does not need to be up

I feel bad You know those Aussies man, they're fucking is the asteroid. I don't know is he No, I need to hear him again Um, hold on. There's too much echo in this guy. They recorded it in a gym like a bunch of goddamn That's not an accent you guys why are these labeled master? Why this is bad God damn it. So he's really trying to get canceled, huh? Just really have the whole community come out against you Remember when I called

The north of England just for the record a 20 minute journey took me an hour and 15 minutes to get to working back Is this one No, he's just he's English as a second language. Yeah, but let's hear what his first language was Um, you guys had a lot of things that shouldn't be labeled I That's jimmy lee that you're introducing you to yeah, yeah, okay, that's that's their little wee jimmy lee That's a wee jimmy lee. That's we jimmy. There's nothing we about them by the way. Yeah Okay, sorry

I'm just still Still laughing about the people that you're like those aren't accents Hey, remember that time I called you about uh white claw Gabe Yes, yes, because I'm good friends with white claw gay. How are you friends with him? So white claw gave matter of fact does not live far from here. Really? Yeah, he lives right around the corner from here You know that is Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've played him on the show before yeah a few times. So white claw Gabe is nick torturo's Wife's first cousin

Okay, okay. You know the actor nick torturo. Yes, phenomenal actor. Lisa is is filipina And white claw gabe is her first cousin and he lives with them Oh, so gabe is literally at my house about two three times a week Really? Yeah, so you're really good friends with nick. I'm good friends with nick his son his daughter is A whole family that's literally they're like family to me when they you know when when they come over It's like your family's coming over when we go there. It's like I'm going to your family's house. Wow It's very uh, but gabe was just gabe and then he discovered that he liked white claws And we jokingly called him white claw gabe

And I would always say hey white claw and then he was like hey white claw. Yeah And then we created his instagram account his son nick june nick the third nick nick. Yeah, he started But gabe lives with them and he just does he just hang out. Does he chill? Yeah, you know, he's uh, he's like, it's the weekend Fuck it's the fucking weekend. Yeah, I keep telling gabe. You gotta stop saying fuck so much. Some of it sounds unnatural What's he say? He's like, yeah, I don't like saying it too much. Fuck Okay, yeah, okay, so he doesn't have an accent either. You know what I mean? No, no, it doesn't have an accent. No, yeah Yeah, he's uh, he's uh He's on the spectrum. Okay. All right. Yeah, but he's a great kid

He's yeah, he's gonna turn 50 this year In november gable turn white claws gonna turn 50 in november and I'm trying to get white claw to sponsor him Dude, that would be amazing. It'd be great for them Oh my god, um What else I want to show you? I wonder how annoying my fucking throat clearing is to your listeners They're gonna say something. Yeah, I know they are because I'm aware but here's the thing guys I just woke up like uh an hour and a half ago and And I just did eight shows so I'm decongesting my my chest is a little

Chesty Your chest is chesty. It makes sense. You did two last night two last night. Fuck. Yeah, okay Irvine too. Yeah, so I want to did you stay down there or did you drive back? Oh weekend? Yeah, I stay down there. I'm driving back and forth. Fuck that. Yeah, that's right. That's a that's a no I'm doing it in september. Oh, it's gonna be fun. Yeah um this was sent in this is a A guy I guess he's mad at the lady on the street for having a party

that um That shuts down the street. Anyway, he just Why weren't we notified you were gonna shut our street down? I pay more property tax than anybody here I can't get through here. It's a one-way sweetie. Go around sir. Yeah, that's yeah I know your fucking sentiment bitch. So now we can get straight to it, ho Let's get straight to it, ho Let's get straight to it, ho I don't have no parties where I block the street, ho

What you're talking about get the fuck out my face Document that substantiate a party where I block the street, ho substantiated substantiate that ho That's why I know you on the other side You are fucking filthy, ho Man her nostrils got longer in that one. They did. They did She looks like bob ho from the side Bob ho You came over here to patronize me, bitch

I carry a gun everywhere I go. I haven't said nothing to you about a gun and I've been recording the whole time since I've seen you Bitch, so don't try nothing slick Where do you think this is? That's a white guy. But where do you think this is? Um, not here. Definitely not here. That's somewhere. We know what you was from the jump you father Look, fuck you, bitch. Fuck you, bitch. Your privilege is extinct here, ho Your privilege is extinct here, ho Get the fuck, bitch Get the fuck, ho

We ain't asking you shit, bitch But we're the thirties that we gotta ask you to move on our fucking street too old trifling fucking ho trifling fucking ho Yeah, fuck your mama your plantation miss daisy, ho All right, looks like it's pennsylvania or something with that plate. I know. Yeah, the plate is but then she's got some southern-ass gear on Oh, yeah, it looked like a church sunday for her. Yeah, for sure Man, he's really really fired up about this party, man zero to 60 real quick. Substantiate this party, ho

Substantiate this stop patronizing me. Substantiate that, ho I ain't scared of none of you bitches. Oh, he's gonna just harass the party He's doing a drive-by harassing You're staring like you got an issue. I wish you would fuck boy Yeah, well, you know what he was scared because he waited till he got a distance from that guy before he said it He did Mother fuckers ain't running New Orleans. Oh the fuck back where you from, bitch Unapologetic, oh damn. I'm not running for office. He looked like a bumblebee to fucking get rich

My first Is that I'm gonna donate he looks like he's wearing his mother's glasses though. Those don't look like men's sunglasses I bet you took it from that fucking church lady There's like there have been some shit in my eyes, ho those days where you get in the car and you're like you need And you're like fuck and you're in your woman's car and you're like, I guess I'm wearing her glass Today's a fendi kind of day That's what that looks like 40% of my fucking salary back to my community in real time on video We're gonna cut this double standard bullshit out

This dude man, he looked like he used to be fat and lost weight. Yeah, you know about this guy I know I feel I look like exactly like him. No, but he looks like a fly get it Can you guys put a split screen of a fly beside him? See if we can make us match up. Oh look at you, ho Listen to me. Don't substantiate that ho Don't patronize me with your glasses. Don't patronize me with your glasses on, bitch Just for a party too, that's a lot man. Yeah, I like that. He just did a drive-by harassment. He harassed a fucking walk by harassment 504 them boys

God damn um Since you I feel like you know so like You make me feel like I don't like hip-hop Because I thought I did until I talked to you about it. I actually love it because I feel like you're Uh an an encyclopedia slash almanac slash trivia fucking machine with it. I'm a dork for it It's intense with you like it's so deep. Your your knowledge is so deep

um Do you have anything you're excited about in today's hip-hop? Today's hip-hop Not really Still no I mean, I'm waiting. There'll be somebody someday There's a lot of guys out there that can talent. You like a lot of girls out there getting busy too. Yeah, but You know as far as making an album nowadays. Nobody's really making an album

Very few artists are making an album. Yeah ghostface is one of the guys who always makes an album Yeah, and ghostface albums are always dope. They're always good. Raekwon albums are always dope. Yep Red man red man albums were always dope. Yeah, you know, there's certain people you can count on their album being dope no matter what Yeah, are you friends with uh red man? you know somebody got Sorry somebody got me a fucking cameo from red man for my birthday really last year And uh, I'll show you it. It's funny. I feel like there's a hundred people in your phone book that could be like

Oh, hey red man. Just call rustle. Yeah. Well, that's that's why when it got sent to me. I was like, why did you waste your money on this? Yeah, yeah, I mean I could have yeah, somebody could have FaceTime red man for me Where is it? It's coming up here. Okay. We got it Oh, here it is. You can you can airdrop it if you airdrop it No, I'll airdrop it. Yeah airdrop it to ymh imac. Okay, hold on and they'll uh, they'll be able to pull it up See if you uh, let's see what happens kids Tell me if you if it comes through there it is Coming through the dove. Yep

Man, look at this. You're so modern tom. Hey, man. You know how we do it This is funny because the my buddy Darby sent got got it sent to me Um Do you by the way? You know, uh, uh, ICP I've been saying clown positive. I don't know them, but um, you know that that dude shaggy too dope Uh broke his arm on a on a slide and it's on camera I did not know that you want to see it. Yes, I haven't seen it yet. Okay. Here we go

Parkour God damn he sure did God damn. He's too old to be trying all that juggalo shit still Jesus christ, what was he wearing wooden shoes? shit There comes a time There comes a time Yeah, this is not I mean listen

I used to enjoy listening to ICP just for the lyrics. Yeah, just because it was so ridiculous I would listen to them and I would listen to d12 for the same reason because I was like just the shit they'd say remember bizarre would always say things like, uh, uh Something like jerking off with razor blades or something like that. You know, I was like, it was like, what is this and they say crazy shit Yeah, they say crazy shit like that too. Yeah. Yeah, remember they tried beefing with Eminem I vaguely remember that it was like late 90s early 2000s I tried because they're both from Detroit and then how'd that go? No, well, I mean we know who m&m is and you got to ask people if they know who icps

It's true. Yeah Yeah, but damn, I feel bad for him breaking his arm Yeah, that that was a bit that was a big old bad break and he's about 50 years old So that's not gonna end up so well for no god damn and just for fucking around on a slide, man Go play basketball. Yeah, just yeah. Yeah, like a gentleman. Would you would you injure yourself properly? Yeah, Jesus All right, so here's red man. Let's see Red man in the building Ah shit

Russell Peters Happy birthday, my dude 50 years old. I know exactly who you are. No one had to explain to me who you are I think is I think it's a privilege to wish you a happy birthday You turned to half a century years old and like I tell everybody my brother because I just turned 50 this year And you've been in the game putting in work for years Only thing I could tell you because you can relate is That you alive

You healthy you made it to another birthday Russell you piece of shit You made it healthy and alive with your family and that's all that fucking matters, bro You've been helping out a lot of comics. I've seen The comic tour you went on and you had the comics out there a couple of years ago It was a special you had on on one of the cable channels. So you definitely put in work You definitely help a lot of people out. So it's a privilege to wish you're stinking as a happy birthday That's uh Reggie noble, man. That's reggie noble because reggie noble's getting pissed. He's I mean

Dude, he's the shit. Have you got a new album? It's really dope. No, I should is it? Yeah. Are you hip to black pumas? Black pumas. Yeah, what do you mean? They're a group called black pumas from austin. No, they're fucking dope. Really? They're not hip hop Oh, okay, but they're dope All right, I'll check out the black pumas. Yeah, really dope. Good for driving. Okay. Um, I'll do it. Yeah, write that down for me um and salt s a u l t S a u l t salt. Yeah, they got a really dope song called wildfires Write that down for me, please. I'm gonna get you hip to the game kid. I'm in man. I'm in. I love checking out new music um

Reggie What was gonna say? Oh he and method man. Have you seen the fucking workouts they're doing? No, they're fucking animals man. Well like like Method they've both always been in good shape. They've always been lean guys Now they're like jacked like he's doing pull-ups with like weights hanging off of them Meth is deadlifting like 500 some pounds. Really? Yeah, like they're doing like heavy weight, man Yeah, I'm gonna I haven't been to jiu-jitsu in two months and I'm dying without it. So really I'm going back this week You're uh, you really enjoy it, right? No, I love it

How because you grew up like when I've well I learned about this when I started hanging out with you that you were really into boxing Right. Do you still have a love for boxing or watching it now? But you don't ever do you like to do the training like you know not like sparring but like Work to me if like you're gonna do it. You might as well go spar. I mean, okay That's kind of like anybody can go learn how to hit mitts. There's a lot of people online Who have really these great mitt work, you know, yeah Like wow, he's so good. I'm like in the ring motherfucker that doesn't work in the ring. That's not the ring Yeah, yeah, and when somebody's throwing punches at you, it's very different a lot of these guys

When they're holding mitts they they go over the head this way and I never had the coming up My coach would never go over my coach goes straight for your straight for your head. Yeah, it was all like pop and you Oh, fuck. Okay. Duck duck more. Yeah, you know, but you know, it looks good This is what it's generation about optics. What do you think of the state of boxing? Uh, it's really interesting right now. I mean, do you feel do you are you of the opinion that these? Celebrity fights are making a mockery of the sport or is it like who cares it's still bringing attention To the like to what's better and you know, no, no, it's not it's bad. No, it's bad. It's bad because you got a lot of these kids coming in then We're raising a generation of trolls. Yeah, we're teaching kids that if you're a troll you can get paid

So, you know the Paul's the Jake and Logan Paul's They're just the start of it. Yeah, you know, I mean they're they're not even like as bad as it's going to get Yeah, like they may be you may you look at them now and go look at these scumbags But they're not even what's they're the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, you're going to have a whole generation of trolls underneath them That are going to be far worse than these two. You're going to be begging for Jake and Logan Paul at some point You think so? Oh, yeah And you think that do you think that because I actually I watched the the Mayweather fight. Yeah, sure Um, I watched it and actually thought, you know, I gave I gave him a lot of credit for for just stepping in the ring

No, no, you didn't feel that at all. No, really I feel he listen He knew even said so he knew he had no chance against Floyd Mayweather Sure But he talked himself into it And the fact that he was able to talk himself into it shows a generation of children and kids That if you are a good enough shit talker You can make things happen and you're going to have a lot of full of shit We already have enough full of shit people out there. How easy you think Floyd took it on him

Floyd took it pretty easy on him, which I was a little disappointed with I thought I personally thought Floyd was going to chop him down. I thought he was going to kill the body all night Yeah, and he was he was banging that liver and then Then he because the the job is you're going to bang the liver eventually You're going to want to drop your right hand to protect your liver And then you're going to leave that chin open then you come over with a left hook and But that's not what he would do touch him with it. He was touching him with it all night But you didn't even think any you didn't think any of his athleticism. You're like, you know, his kid's decent like for

No, he's in great shape. He's a big old Ohio kid. Yeah, six foot two the guy's fucking jacked You know, but again if 50 professional boxers couldn't beat this guy What makes you think this kid? No, of course boxing five years ago That's like me going. Yeah, you know what if I train hard enough? No, I'm going to get my ass kicked I'd get my ass kicked by both Logan and fucking Jake Paul, right? You know what I mean? Like So it's it's a it's a different world. They don't really understand a lot of people don't understand that Boxing is not about size or look. It's about skill. Yeah, that's true. Yeah It's like the same thing with like tiktokers. I think they're going to do stand-up

That's just hilarious to it. It's the same thing though. You know remember when kids on vine were doing stand-up Yes, I remember hosting at the improv one night and they're like and they tell you you're bringing up somebody Yeah, that's the thing too. They're like you bring him up. What's what do I say like he's big on vine Yeah, that's this kid this kid was like, uh, what do you want me? I said, what do you want me to say about you? He goes, uh, I tell him I have over 500 000 followers on vine. I go, no, seriously What do you want me to say about you? He goes, hey man, that's a big deal. I go, okay pal So I bring him on. He eats a fat dick on stage. Yeah I've come back up and I know whatever his name was I give it up for whatever his name was I go

Apparently he's really good for seven seconds at a time I'm sure he loved that. Yeah, well fuck him. Do you know who he is now? I still don't know who he is now No, I had a couple people in there like yeah, uh big vine following and I was like, that's what you want in your intro Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's your credit. Yeah, you downloaded an app. Okay. This guy's got great app sense I mean then then they were like when when vine went away They were like tell people though that I used to be big on vine Like okay, yeah, tell him I'm about to be big on instagram You got it man. Hey good news. We're tiktok is the new vine. Whoo

um Do you do yourself maintenance? Do you do like a massage? You know like skin stuff. Do you do anything like that? I do my skin stuff by myself But I I should get more massages. It's good for you Especially if you're doing jujitsu and you're rolling all the time I haven't rolled in too much, but I woke up this morning. My head felt like it was a thousand pounds Really? Like I was close to calling it. But like dude, I don't know what the fuck's going on in my head

But my head was killing me when I woke up. Yeah, my neck in my head. I don't know what the hell Here's what it looks like in russia Imagine this kind of massage Oh That's not a massage. Oh boy, I don't know what's gonna happen Oh Damn, dude, and we think we're gonna beat them in a war By the way, do you notice that with full hammer smacks that guy doesn't even like flinch

He's just like just staying there in the pocket is what we do and the room is padded It is I didn't notice that it's a padded room a fucking padded room With a telescope looking outside They don't fuck around and what kind of crazy snipers do they have in that city? Dude, they uh, how about the rush zoom in on that table? What's on that damn table? Oh my glues out glue bottles That's so crazy You ever seen they look like glue bottles are like little plastic clansmen. What are those on the table? You know, you know how like here in the states, you know cop can like

Say something the wrong way to you like, you know Grab you he shouldn't have and then you can now you could have a video leak on you know Go online and you can file a report and they could be us to like in run. I saw a show once where they had a camera crew following these Russian cops Like they saw a guy they were looking for Like at the mall and they were like, you know, he's over here and a cop ran Like into the food court ran jumped on the table and just popped off the table and kicked the guy in the face Like just pow kicked him in the face and other guys came just clubbed him. You know, there's no you're not going to be like

Hey, they use excessive for his borsch went flying Okay, yeah, of course you fucking say wow There's no way that's the right technique to use that with no way I mean at least he's using a mallet, you know And not a hammer And he has to say shit when he does it And why does he look like fucking Abraham Lincoln? The guy doing it. This is for the four theater

Please Find more stuff from this guy. Do you follow look at this Russian on instagram? Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's Hey, do you like my posts because I'm very sensitive about that. Do I like your posts? Yeah I don't know. I don't know. You better fucking start liking my posts. Okay Because I look for that and I go this motherfucker Damn it. Oh, yeah, you so you did you did like it. Thank you. Good. Okay, we're clear. Okay Christina doesn't like them. Okay. I'll talk to her. I'll straighten her out And if she doesn't fucking start liking them, I'll throw her down the stairs again. I mean

I hope she doesn't fall again. Yeah, you'll you'll have a word with her. Yeah about her stair technique her stair technique. Yeah Oh my god, that was so funny All right, before you go a few tech Christina, you always do a good job Of hey, can I give one of those Tom Segura Garth Brooks shirts? Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Send me send me the address We'll ship we'll ship you. I still got my sub cane shirt. You do. Yeah. I love the sub cane shirt. Yeah Yeah, he's the man you got to come do my podcast one day. I'd love to you know, I'd love to yeah I wanted to get you and Bert on it um, that's possible in uh

Late july. Yeah, whatever. Okay. I'm gonna get you and christine if she's able if she's mobile again. I mean Bring this christine it's christine's on point She just says the right amount, you know, not too much not too little you know, you should uh You should have a button that you could push so that every time you look at her mouth it goes Apparently you do have a button you can do a button So Christina finds some of the it's always a ride Crazy tiktok. Yes. I remember this. So I'm gonna play some for you. You know, just see what she's got here

She curates these here we go Hey, I've been females on here. Wait, isn't this from the other one? 18 looking for Assasin, huh? If you are Be a tiktok woman There you go. Well, that's uh, that's a shower curtain or is that a hospital behind him That seems like it's kind of a hospital. Oh, I forgot to ask you this. I don't know if you told this last time I told this story

yesterday of the day before uh, to a friend of mine who had Traveled to the middle east. Mm-hmm your king of jordan Oh when he punked me. Yes. Yes. It is one of my favorite stories. That's uh, that was a was a good time Will you tell me that? Yeah, I forget some of the details. All right. So this is about 2008 or nine Something like that when this happened and you're gonna do the show and he was gonna go but couldn't go, right? Yeah, I did a show out there and he couldn't go because he's the king right and just show up at a Friggin comedy show, right?

but he was a fan so He invited us over to the palace for dinner after the show after the show and so Me my brother My brother's wife gabriel glaceus angelo sarukas um

There was a couple other people I can't remember who but we all went to the palace And we go downstairs. He has this teppanyaki room. Mm-hmm with a teppanyaki grill and he's cooking his dinner The king of the king of jordan's cooking his dinner and it's and first of all, it's the it's literally the best steak of ever eaten in my life I'm like, god damn. This is like we're eating like royalty. Yeah And they had like a whole display out there like Oreo cookies all kinds like you name it. They had it sitting there for you Anyway, long story short it starts getting late And we're all hanging out having a good time and the queen says good night. She goes to bed queen ronja. She goes to bed and

My brother looks at me goes. Hey, we should go the queen's going to bed. We should probably Get out of here and you're leaving the next day. We're leaving the next day so I say to the king. I said, hey, uh ab We're gonna we're gonna get out of here He goes, why? And we go, oh, because you know, I got an early flight in the morning and the queen's gone to bed. I don't want to overstay my welcome

So what time's your flight? I said our flight's at 10 30. He said All right, so we got to be there by like seven. We got to leave the hotel by seven He goes, why so early? He goes because I gotta go through all the customs and all that. He's like, uh No, you can get there around 9 30 I go I go, uh, I'm How am I gonna do that? He goes, I'll call the airport And I'm like, I you forget that he's a king. Yeah

Because he's so cool when you're hanging out with me like this guy's so cool Yeah, that he seems like a regular dude to you And then he's like, I'll call the airport and I'm like, all right. Yeah, it's it's named after you. Right. Yeah. Yeah It's it's it's right. It's royal jordanian airlines. You're the royal jordanian. I got it. Got it. All right, so I go, you sure? Because yeah, get there at 9 30. I have people walk you right in so me my brother And uh, my sister-in-law leave. I think angelo stayed If i'm not mistaken angelo and and gabriel stayed gabriel stayed for sure

So the next morning we get up We get to the airport at 9 30 in the morning There's these people that meet us at the corner on the curb They walk us straight in the building up to this private room And it's like all of us are sitting in this room now this big giant room And we're like, wow, is this cool, huh? And it's like 9 35 now, you know, I mean we're like, this is so cool. We're like, we're just chilling. They come in they take all our passports

and uh And then some we're all sitting there when you want tea coffee, whatever We're just chilling. I'll look at it in each other. Like, this is so cool. We look last night We went to palace and today we're getting this vip treatment So and then uh, this guy comes in look, you know, looks like a arab villain guy You know with the mustache and everything and the heavy eyebrows and And he comes in he goes, which one of you is the little beetle? And I'm like, that's me and he goes come with me and I'm like, who the fuck is this guy talking to, right?

Yeah, and I'm thinking I'm looking at everyone like, hey, I think the king came to say bye to me Yeah, he just doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. So he just wants me to go say bye to him I'll be back guys So we're walking and he goes, you have cell phone And I go, yeah, he goes give me it and he snatches it out of my hand. I'm like, this motherfucker Now I'm getting a little bit of an attitude about it, right? He's like, you have other one. I go, no I did add it in my pocket hiding, right? I go, no, I don't And he goes

So we start walking down these stairs and he's in front of me and I'm thinking of my he's kind of kind of an attitude about him I'm thinking of my head. I'm gonna choke this guy out from behind. Yeah while we're going down these stairs But all right, I don't want to make a big deal out of it. So we go down the stairs and then there's like three Guys with machine guns at the bottom of the stairs pointing at me We come down like click click and I'm like, oh shit. No, no, no, it's me And I'm thinking, oh, this must be the the king's security that came They're just, you know, making sure like, no, no, it's okay guys. It's me. I'm like trying to play it cool Hey guys, it's me and they're like, they're just following me with their guns. I'm like, the fuck is going on

this guy takes me into a room and uh It's like an interrogation room. Mm-hmm And he's sitting behind a desk. I'm sitting in front of him and he starts asking me questions What were you last night and I go, huh? Like what and I look over on the side and I see a camcorder under a blanket Like he's recording The thing and all I kept thinking in my head was that's an old-ass camcorder. Yeah. Yeah, so

He's like, what were you last night? It goes. I was out Because I got an attitude now. Yeah, he goes, uh, what what are you doing? I was out. Where were you? Uh, I was with some friends which friends I go for me which friends I go I was at the palace which palace And there's a picture of the king behind him and I go I was at his palace Who him my king? Yes How do I what are you with my king and I go Because he's my friend

And I go you want to see pictures? I give me my phone. I pull up a picture of me and the king And he goes How do you know my king? I go Because he's my friend And he's like Why were you out so late? Where would who are you with what really like all these questions? Yeah And I'm like the fuck is going on here are you nervous? Yeah, I'm nervous I'm nervous because I don't know what's guys getting a little bit of an attitude snip in them and then uh

And then I hear in the hallway. Don't point that shit at me fool And gabriel come fluffy comes in the room and he's on his phone And he's like, uh, uh, I go gay. What the fuck's going on? And he goes hold on and it gives me the phone and it's the king and he goes Never be the first to leave one of my parties again. You just got punked, bitch Yeah, that's the best man. Yeah, but you're gonna understand now the flight's leaving at 10 30. Yeah, it's now 10 25 When all this is happening Like I'm like, I'm gonna miss I'm starting to get nervous because I'm about to miss my flight

Yeah, like this isn't funny anymore. I'm like, I'm gonna miss my flight And then they walked us straight onto the plane. They held the plane for us So the so the king could do this prank on me That's wild, man There's nobody with a story like that and subsequently him and I have become really good friends. Seriously. Yeah, we text each other and you know Like how you doing, man? I am good. Yeah, I wish can't wait for this covid thing to be over Israel No, we never do any of that stuff because he's like don't ever text me any of that shit

So have you uh, have you gone to jordan again? Yeah, I've been I've been again and I've gone hung out with him and then That's so crazy when I was living in hidden hills. It came and visited me one time. What yeah So before he came he said he was gonna be in town. I said why don't you come to my house? And he was like, okay And I was like really and so like two days before he The day before he came His security detail came in to swept my house to make sure there was nothing Yeah

And then an hour and a half before he came they came and set up a perimeter around my house Wow, yeah, he came over and he came over that's so insane. Yeah, it's pretty wild and him and I just walking around my property and talking and Wow, I was going through some different shit at the time and I was asking for his vice on it And I looked regular shit like guy talk, you know, yeah It's he's the he's the coolest guy in the world. Yeah, that's so cool, man Um, all right back to Christina's nonsense. Sorry Now let's see what Christina has going on. Yeah Christina

That was a really cool story about the king of jordan. Let's see what you pulled She didn't like that at all That was at the wedding Yeah, she finds all these depressing wedding talks. Why does she have such big fake lips already? Oh my god, maybe that's why she didn't want to kiss them. They're still sore. She's so pissed Bro You know different people get excited by different things. Yeah, this guy would get really excited by dentist I had two hot dogs today boys and girls and I'm hungry now and it's

1248 in the morning and I'm still hungry and I am still not a dog Did he say he had 12 or 2? I think 2 looks like he had 12 but he had 2 Yeah, because I heard 2 and then after you're looking at him I was like, did he say 12? Because his face looks like a 12 looks like a 1 on this side and then the 2 on the other side Literally looks like his face is saying I want 12 hot dogs. Jesus christ, man Hey, it's fucking johnny dozen face Well, good morning my beautiful queen Time to wake up. It's your big day. It's your birthday

My very own beautiful slut muffin I love you You will always be my favorite Oh And nick loves you. He loves you more than anything. He loves you more than the day you met Oh, the light change He says your ass is beautiful And it will always be beautiful to him

Breathing real king loves you my queen and you have a good day. His chest looks like my ass and I love you You get up and have fun Guys need to jump on my page and wish her a happy birthday today. Today's her birthday. I love you my queen Wow, that's the worst only fans I've ever seen Might be to unsubscribe god man that is I don't know. I'm a little different. I'm a little concerned that I'm erect. Yeah He's he's breathing real heavy and that I can't breathe Oh, him. Sorry. Yeah. No, you're fine

All right, my queens and kings above 18 this goes out to my queens My very own beautiful slut muffins. Jesus It's time to cuddle down for the night. This is his own term now Cuddle down for the night. It's you can fucking daylight behind him. Yeah, and his eyes are swollen shut And his head looks like it's melting into his body Grab your special king Or grab your special queen Kings

You too grab your special queen or your special king. We got it. Jesus christ I'm never touching my special king again My name is jordy jordan. Oh god, there's anybody out there. I'm looking for females It likes me I'm 47 This is what I look like with glasses Uh without glasses. Hold on. Is that superman? Clark Kent is what my chest looks like. Oh

What my arms look like? Okay I'm very sweet And I love them. Okay. God damn. These are so depressing. He seems really sweet. Yeah Like in a psycho kind of way I'm really sweet. I love women that taste good to to put it for that to be your like going a dating pro like app Well, this is a this is the american dating app tiktok. Really? No, I'm just kidding. I mean just like For you to think that this is is going to lead to love. It's not going to lead them to people Rational people like us. It's going to lead to people that think that's the thing. Right. That's the world we live in now

Right. We have too many weirdos have access to be other with other weirdos. Yes So I think it's eliminating loneliness, but at the same time creating more weirdos. Yeah, you're right. Yes. You nailed it Yeah, yeah, it's a math equation Baby girl when you see I thought that was timberland for my pudding pop, baby You know, I like doing that Am I wrong? Did you for a second think of it? Yeah. Yeah, and then you know me I get the pudding pop and get up brush my teeth and walk away. I love doing that face right there I miss you is girl

Hey, man, he's all jacked now though He fluctuates too. Yeah, he's in our camp. Yeah, he's a fluctuating. He's a fluctuating. Yeah Keep making hits. Have you ever hung out with him? Timberland? No I don't know him at all. I'm really you know, the thing is I feel like I gravitate my interest is more at the longer I live in I want to talk to producers more Really? Yeah, because I I've always been more into the sound Yeah, I was then like like when people are like People talk about songs and they go

You know this song and I'm like, oh, yeah, and they go You know the meaning and I'm like, I never thought of the meaning I just thought about how the song sounds to me as a DJ when I was because I DJ, you know, um, yeah I would always play instrumentals more than I would play the vocals. Yeah, because sometimes I was like, I don't like what he said there Yeah, so I'm just gonna play the instrumental the beat always made my head bop. Sometimes I um, I'll Especially like with newer music. Let's say music of the last 10 years I'll hear something and I'll be like, oh, this is dope and I'm talking about The vibe like the the feeling of the song

I'll play it like a hundred times and it's not until someone else gets in the car And they start going like Jesus these lyrics and I'm like, oh I never really paid attention to the lyrics. It's the same thing with reggae growing up. Yeah Listening to reggae in Toronto because everybody's Jamaican. Yeah Um, you don't realize how homophobic some of the lyrics were and you're like, and you're singing along like, yeah But the month we did and you're like, oh shit. I'm no, I didn't mean that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So it's super homophobic. Oh my god. Yeah, it was it was really bad at one point reggae was like that dance hall dance hall stuff

Dance hall like blatantly slackness them call it What does that even mean slackness? It's just like, you know slack kind of music. Okay, you know, it's kind of loose Okay, yeah, and it and it shits on There's a it was a lot of There's there's plenty of songs out there. Really boom. Bye. Bye Yeah, that was about killing homosexuals. Really? Yeah, boom. Bye. Bye in a body boy head Shoot him in the head All right, none of it. None of it was good. I mean the songs the songs were catchy

But you look back and you go, wow, we're really part of a fucked up generation. Damn. Shout out to sedatex. All right Let's move along. Don't blame daddy All right, I'll all right a lot of people are sitting here talking about my wife. Okay You guys remember this video That one When I said if you touch my girl, I will hurt you I'm not playing I have hurt somebody before many people

I may not I may be a crazy white boy and don't look that much intimidating And sit there and may not have that big of muscles I get in other ways buddy boy trust and believe that I'm a detroit boy I believe him. I believe he does crazy things. Yeah, he he'd lose the fight. He's the guy you'd beat up Yeah, then he comes back and stabs your entire family. Yeah. Yeah, and then hides the knife in between his eyebrows because When he's talking it turns into a butt and he can film from perfect crevice to hide shit Watch when he's talking watch his eyebrows meet. It looks like an Detroit, michigan. Oh, yeah, I play fucking zank Okay, come at me and my wife. I dare you. Nope

I'm good because I'm not that's a beautiful woman right there Wow Say what say what you want when you've had four kids and 15 years of depression Well, because that's not right Well one way to beat depression is get somebody crazier than you. Yeah, that definitely helps That's one of those remote control ones. Is that what that is? It's one of the remote control alligator heads Yeah I think I would have so much fun with that

Yeah, yeah, you see the little blast underneath. Yeah, that's pretty great That's a fun prank. You're gonna get one. Are you? I'm definitely getting one of those. Yeah Takes you right back. She has no problem of having more than seven husbands Yeah When it's time for making love it depends on who I want I'm the one who chooses what to sleep and make love because I build each and every one a house I visit whoever I want and I satisfy their needs. There is no husband who has ever complained about anything And none of them can dare try cheating on me. My superpowers can show it

Okay Interesting lady. He's got a leopard pelt on her shoulder She's the boss man. She is. What's on her face though? Is that a tattoo? Mind? What is that? One of her seven husbands is dry jizz. Yeah, she's working seven decks regularly. Yeah She's literally the meaning of seven eleven seven seven guys with eleven inches Damn, you know, there's some big decks there too. Oh, yeah, there's not like anybody's like I can't follow that guy Like bring it on baby Um a reminder

Uh russles podcast Which is uh, what is it canceled culturally canceled? Thanks for remembering tom. Of course culturally I thought it would be in the right up culturally canceled Um, you can subscribe on apple He loves rap Uh, subscribe on apple podcast wherever they get their podcast also on youtube new podcasts come out Every thursday. I hope I can do it soon man. That'd be fun. That'd be good Yeah, you know, I'm around all week. Yeah. Yeah, all right. I'm here. I'm here. You're here. I know you're here

Wife's not here. You're you're living life. What do you think? Yeah, she's into it. She's into it. All right. It's a big old Yeah Um, yeah, always good to see you man. You too tomaso. It's fun. Thank you for coming today. Thanks for making me come Uh, I love when you come Uh, we'll see you soon. Yes. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. Make sure you go see Russell live. Uh, check out his podcast and here is get that booty by dj knucklehead This is a classic Big booty or flat booty. I'm coming to get that booty

One time I'm coming to get that booty big booty or flat booty Big booty or flat booty big booty or flat booty. I'm coming to get that booty Hey, huh? Y'all know what's a banana split, huh? We gon' use your booty and put some corn chip to ice cream and put some popcorn And put some popcorn This let me eat you one time One time

One time big booty or flat booty big booty or flat booty big booty or flat booty. I'm coming to get that booty One time I'm coming to get that booty That was a wrong one The unspoken internal monologue of every red-blooded heterosexual male I'm coming to get that booty, huh?