Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 619 - Shaggy 2 Dope & The Creep - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

YMH LIVE is back baby! This September 22 at 8pm CT! Get your tickets at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com. SPONSORS: - Go to https://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in MOM to get a a 4-week trial PLUS free postage and a digital scale. - Get 25% off, up to $10 value, and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter code YMH. - Download Best Fiends FREE today on the Apple App Store or Google Play - Get FREE chicken, burgers, and hot dogs in your first box when you sign up at https://ButcherBox.com/MOM! - Try Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days at https://Amazon.com/YOURMOM - Save 20% on your SimpliSafe security system AND get your first month free when you visit https://SimpliSafe.com/yourmom It's a very special episode of Your Mom's House today as Insane Clown Posse's Shaggy and his co-host from the Palcast, The Creep, stop by! First off, Tom and Christina discuss pitching a heroin hotel to Shark tank, the lost conversation with Dr. Joe Kort about being gay, straight or bisexual and take a walk down memory lane with Christina's old comedy tour posters. Then, Shaggy and The Creep stop by to talk about his various injuries, how McDonald's helped introduce him to the Creep and how they came up with pie fives. Then we run them through our favorite juggalo videos including a guy who regrets his ICP tattoo, scissor ASMR and Super Humman. After that, they go over Christina's date with the King, Tom's beef with Garth Brooks and Christina shows Shaggy and The Creep some her latest TikTok curations.

Guess what? YMH Live is back streaming live from Austin, Texas. Go to livestream.ymhstudios.com to get your tickets for the show September 22nd. I've been eyeballing that toy up there. What you're just saying? That's from Pierce Paris. I don't know if I can go to Walmart. No, that's not what he's talking about. He's talking about the Dunk Champ thing.

The Dunk Champ. Not the Enema. Wait, wait, wait. What is Enema? I know we gotta go. Let's back bet a little bit. That was in a guy's ass. And we're back.

Another episode of your mom's house podcast. She's Christine. Hi, Jeans. I'm Todd. And this is our show. And I'm really excited to be here. We have an incredible, incredible guest coming today. Jeans.

It is like two major worlds colliding today. Yes, it really is. It is two major, it's the mommies and the juggalos, meeting in one playground. I never thought this would happen. It's happening. I'm so excited. It's super cool. Yes.

Before we get too far, you have some dates to plug? I do. I'm gonna plug my dates starting September 9th through 11th. I'm finally doing Austin at the creek and the cave. You've done that, Venkates. You love it. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.

You put it there. You put it there. Great. September 23rd through 25th in Oklahoma City. And then we'll go to Indian Appletits, October 6th and 7th. And then Denver, Colorado. How many words? Greatest comedy club in the country.

Comedy work. That's when I wore my sweatshirt. Comedy works. And then a black lady at the security officer, she goes, she goes, yes, it does. Yes, it does. Comedy and prayer. Raleigh, North Carolina in November at Charlie Goodnights. S-A-R-T.

Salt Lake City, Utah. I have rescheduled to Wise Guys November 26th, 27th and 28th. That's Thanksgiving weekend. So it's a fun time to actually. It's the best time. Your family makes you want to die. Yeah. And then on Saturday or Friday or Saturday, you're like, let's just go do something.

Let's get out of the house. Sniff that one. Oh, I miss him, ass river. And then I rescheduled San Antonio to December 9th through 11th, the L-O-L. L-O-L. Help! And then Orlando, December 15th, 16th, no, sorry, 16th or 18th. Orlando, oh yeah.

Improv. That'd be great. Thank you for those sound drops. That was really neat. Yeah, no problem. If you just woke up and you're listening to this podcast, you'll know. It's fucking morning. And later on, it'll be later in the day.

And how's your day going so far? Good. How's your day going? My day's good. I'm good. You good? Are you good? I'm good.

I'm really excited to be good. We just made chit-chat. Aw, man, we just had Mediterranean food. You know, Tom, my cholesterol's a little high. Yeah, it is. So this is the best part, is that our Texas doctor, I go, well, look, I love barbecue. And I eat a county line a lot. And he goes, well, you can go to county line, just don't get the sausage.

And that's the difference between an L.A. doctor and a Texas doctor. And an L.A. doctor's like, eat nine almonds for lunch, maybe a tangerine or something. Yeah, Texas is like, just stay away from the sausage, y'all can have your brisket. Have all the ribs you want, just don't eat so much sausage. And you can have the coleslaw. That's fine, too. That's your vegetables right there. Yeah, that's what he said to me.

I was like, wow, cool, right? Thanks, doc. Yeah. Don't have to worry about anything else, you know, like COVID, you know, 19 virus. You know, man, I miss him. I like him so much. Good guy. You know, COVID.

Are they doing his thing and stuff like that? You know. I'll be in Salt Lake, Titties. Yeah. Yeah, in October. So. Well, you're coming everywhere. I am.

Yeah. Paw Patrol. Look at all those sold-outs. God damn. The Seminole Hardcock, October 1st in Hollywood, Florida, not to be confused with Hollywood California. That's true. And then Tampa.

Tampa in Florida. Tandy. Performing Arts. Yeah, they see, there's Salt Lake Titties right there, October 14th. I knew it. It's exciting. Yeah, it'll be really fun. Can't wait.

Excite. Can't wait for this tour. To take off. You are really going, you literally are coming everywhere. And this is only two legs of the tour. Two legs. There's two more. How many more?

Oh my God, baby. You're gonna die. Overall, it's gonna be like 200 in some cities. How happy is Agent Jeans? Oh, he's happy. He's so thrilled. Yeah, he just bought a boat. Of course he's happy.

No, I'm just kidding. All right, you want to open the show? I'm ready. Let's get this party farted. Start it. I'm queer. I mean, get used to it. Let's go.

So, I'm under the bridge. Look, I'm under the bridge. I'm training under the bridge. You see it? I'm under the bridge. I'm going up. I'm going up. And I'm training up under the bridge.

Damn, whoa, whoa, fucking bullshit. Look, look, look, fucking, damn. Whoa, I'm under the bridge. Damn. This is a big time. I like this guy. That's pretty good guys with it. Don't bring anyone loving to this.

This guy's got it. He's got it. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pajitz and Christina Pajitz. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pajitz and Christina Pajitz. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. This guy's really something. He's training under a bridge. Yo, no better place to train.

Is this an LA bridge? I'm not sure. It's a little crazy. I mean, working out under bridges is a real high risk, it feels like. I'd be motivated to get the fuck out from under the bridge, you know? Do you think the air quality is not as good as you'd like it to be? It's definitely not as good. It's definitely a scarier vibe.

Scarier vibe. But that's good. Don't you think the adrenaline motivated people? That's what I'm saying. It's probably working out way harder. It's a really good idea. Yeah. I love this guy.

Why does it remind me a little bit of Cholo Fit Creeper? I fucking love that guy. Oh, that's really funny. He's like, hey, homie, you got to do your deep stretches. Deep stretches, homies. I mean. I'm under the bridge. Look at, I'm under the bridge.

I'm training under the bridge. Okay. I'm under the bridge. I'm going up. I'm going up. And I'm training up under the bridge. Bam. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Fucking bullshit. Look, look, look. Fucking bam. Whoa, I'm under the bridge. Bam. Bam. Bam. Sound effects.

Yeah. This doesn't look different than Taibo. Remember Taibo? Yeah. He was doing that. That was a little different. Unventor Boulevard. A little different.

This looks like Taibo moves. It does look like it. He looks good. He's in good shape, though. Whatever he's doing is working for him. It's under the bridge. That's what he's doing. That's the next LA health craze is under the bridge fitness with this guy.

I bet you if you just started doing that and one person joined, two people, he's like for a scump before you know it. You'd have to sign a waiver, though, for under the bridge workouts. They're like, you are working out at your own risk if you get robbed, beaten, stabbed, killed. That's the whole fun. That's the thing. That's what's going to motivate you to lose weight and get in shape.

You got to run away, homie. You're under the bridge. You're under the bridge. And then this guy's like, bam. Boom. Everyone's like, oh my God. Scared the whole time. Yeah.

I'm going to fucking weigh you every week, too. Yeah. And if you're fucking fat, you're fucked, push you in the traffic. That's great. This would motivate me. Have you ever like walked? Well, you have. Like if you walk like on Ventura and you go north, there's, you know, under an overpass.

It's scary. It's always had wild shit underneath it, not only just being the last year when like the homeless situation got real crazy here, but I mean, it's all, you've always walked and you're like, oh, I got to speed up. You're like, oh, shoulders back. Since I was a little girl and I go under an underpass like this, it's always went like there would be an outline of the dead body. Like someone, someone always gets shot under the bridge or you get flashed.

I've been flashed under a bridge. No good things happen. It always seems like that's the place where you would go do drugs. Absolutely. It's a great place to do drugs. Specifically heroin. Like if you were looking to shoot up somewhere, it seems like under a bridge is a great. Well, it's a nice place because you can, isn't that a song under the bridge by the red chili

peppers? Yeah. About doing heroin. About LA. Yeah. It is. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner. Yeah.

Sometimes I, why are you singing it like that? Because he's got a list. Really? I'm all alone. It's the city I live in. The city of angels. Lonely angels. Lonely angels.

Yeah. That's all about drugs, man. Yeah. Come on. Do heroin. Yeah. These guys. Take me all the way.

This is such an LA band. But the good thing about under the bridge too is like you can keep your mattress there. Like it's a, it's plenty of space. That's the thing. Cause one thing when you do heroin, you always want to take a nap. Yeah. You always want to take a nap. And it's cool that you can go to one place under a bridge and you can do both.

You can do the drugs and no one sees you and you can rest, you know. And if you're really thoughtful, you can put a dresser next to your mattress and you got a whole bedroom set up. Got a bedroom under the bridge. Now that I think about it. I think you're Anthony Keenan. Yeah. He has got a lisp because I've listened to that song so many times that he has a little

bit of a lisp. I hear it. Yeah. Yeah. He does. He goes, yeah. I don't ever want to be like that. At the beginning.

Sometimes I feel he's got the lift. Yeah. It's fine. It's, it's, look, it's what makes the chili peppers unique. Yeah. They're an amazing band. They're a band. They're a band.

They're a band. They're a band. It's what makes the chili peppers unique. Yeah. They're an amazing band. They're very distinctly an LA thing. Them, Jane's Addiction. Yeah.

They're fucking rad. I love them. I love them. Wait, but maybe we're leaving money on the table here. Hear me out. I'm hearing you. What if we started a hotel for people to do heroin in? It's like a nicer environment.

Yeah. So that they don't have to go under the bridge. Are you sure they don't really do this in like Norway and Amsterdam? I bet they're probably like, come do heroin here. But they don't charge enough to make it a good business model. Oh, you want to charge. But here's the thing. The Four Seasons.

And heroin addicts are always broke. They're not going to be. Well, then you've got the actors who are not. Philip Seymour Hoffman. But they just go, they just go to the Four Seasons. They're not going to be like, is there a heroin fucking hotel? There might be. But, but think about it.

What about a hotel specifically catering to all your heroin needs? They provide spoons, lighters, tie off ropes. Those aren't hard to find. It's not like they're like, I can't find a spoon, you know. But a clean one and a clean needle. True. That was hard to find. And people got AIDS.

But again, the people that are like really struggling to find a clean spoon, you know, they're not very high on resources. I hear what you're saying, but just. I feel like this is Shark Tank. And I'm like, I don't want to invest. I'm not going to pay for this. What if I provided a hotel just for you to do illegal drugs and add a very leisurely experience, a nice high-end service, like, you know, when you're super high and pot

and it's 2 a.m. and you're like, fuck, I wish I had a brownie smoothie with peanut butters and ice, peanut butter and ice cream in it. Ding dong. You just, you call down to room service and they have a stoner menu. Yeah. Or maybe it's an a la carte. Like you just tell them what you want and they bring it up. You wouldn't pay top dollar for that.

Sure. The stoner hotel. That's what, now you're. Stoner hotel. Stoner's way better market than a heroin market. Stoner's will spend money. Stoner hotel. Stoner's and a lot of people.

A lot of people and pots legal. Yeah. And a lot of places. It's a great idea. That's a great idea. Oh, and it's not. You're going to go so broke on this heroin hotel idea. Immediately.

Hey, listen. Sometimes you got to shoot that moon. Your lobby's just like, people just passed out, mouth open. What's going to happen? These are our customers. You know, we haven't sold any food this week. No one's eating here. Everyone's just taking suppositories.

Dirty mattress. Yeah, dude. Come on. But I would want to provide a safe place for them to do heroin. So that. That part's very thoughtful. And I think. And rapes and stuff, you know.

All right. But, but stoner hotel. Now that's a fucking idea. That's a good business. You've got nothing but awesome stoner movies. Stoner movies. Good weed. Great.

Great edibles. Great edibles. And then a menu of like whatever you want to eat, the chef makes it. And, you know, we also have Xanax. If you go too far, take the edge off. As Joey Diaz advised me, he's like, take a little baby's Xanax. It's what you got to do. You combine.

Right. 200 milligrams THC. You take a little baby's Xanax. Perfect. Perfect. Yeah. Okay, Joey. That's a great.

Joey used to start this business. Yeah. He's special. What? And I'm just a novice. I'm a dilettante weed person. I don't know a lot. Yeah.

You need an expert here. I'm so excited. You're like, Lori, hear me out. It's a heroin hotel. And they're like, wait, what? Like, no, people just do heroin in my hotel. Heroin addicts. We all know them.

Mark, you in? He's wheeling some heroin addicts. We're like, I need a place to stay. Yeah. This is a good business. We take the cash up front. Always. You pay first.

Yeah. Jesus. I really don't know why this tickles me so much. It really does. It really tickles me. Heroin hotel idea is really good. You know how many songs will be written about the heroin hotel?

Is that me? No. Hotel California. It's not the hotel of California. You check in, but you can never leave. It's a heroin hotel. I think it's about drugs, isn't it? Hotel California.

I don't know. Living it up at the hotel of California. Such a lovely place. Such a lovely place. This could be heaven or this could be hell. That sounds like you're high. Then she lit up a candle. She showed me the way.

Yeah. Hotel California. Such a lovely place. I think it's about drugs. Sure. Sure. Maybe. Yeah.

She got the Mercedes Benz. He said, I'll call the cab. Please bring me some wine. My wine. He said we haven't had that spirit here since 1969. 69. What's up, bro? But why are you asking for such outdated stuff?

It's because you're high on heroin. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm high on heroin. I guess so. It's the heroin hotel. Remember last night, when we discussed doing 69? Do you remember?

I was like, should we 69? I said, yeah. I don't see what the big deal is. You have a broken arm. Your arm is in total disrepair. Then I have a broken ankle. Then you're like, Oh, just squat on top of you. You said...

I'll squat. What's wrong with that? Why can't I do that? I'm trying to think back to when we did 69 last. Did you squat on top of me? Probably. Kind of brings about a more interesting question, which is that, am I gay straight or bi? You know, it's one of our favorite books.

We've read this book many times together. It's My Husband Gay Straight or Bi by Dr. Joe Court. We're going to reveal something on this show today. Shout out to Dr. Joe Court. Shout out to Dr. Joe Court. This is the actual YMH exclusive behind the jeans curtain. We haven't told the story yet. No.

Hold on to it. We're just going to tell the story. Go ahead. You tell the story. You tell the story. You're coming everywhere. You tell the story. Okay.

A few months ago, we were talking, we were playing his clips a lot on the show and we reached out to Dr. Joe Court to come on the podcast and he said yes. We had a conversation with him where I thought it would be funny to lean into the fact that I'm fucking guys all over the place on the run. He was like, really? I was the distraught wife who was trying to come to terms with him fucking dudes. Here's the thing about when you do bits, sometimes in concept, you have them play out in your head a certain way and then you execute them and you're like, that didn't land away.

So what I realized is I didn't break. I kept saying, yeah, I was in Phoenix. I fucked these four guys and then he was like, really? I was like, yeah. He was like, okay. He was very nice about it. So sweet. But as the interview wrapped up, it was like a 20 minute, 25 minute Zoom conversation.

I felt bad that I had betrayed his trust. Yeah, yeah. So when it ended, we called him back and I was like, man, I confessed to him. I was like, I made that shit up. He was like, really? And then we had another interesting conversation with him, another 15, 20 minute conversation. Like a real conversation. Yeah, like a real one where I was like, you know, that was a bit and I apologize.

We both apologized for being shits. We're like, listen to, we thought it'd be funny. It really just, it didn't land well and we like you. You're a nice guy. We didn't want to hang up and like, how do you think that we are these people? Like we're just joking. Because it was like, it felt too dirty. Like it felt like too much manipulation, you know, and he was being genuine and authentic

and like really trying to help and I was just like, yeah, you know, when you blow like four guys in Detroit, you know what I mean? Just because you're on the road and he was like, okay. And he was. Yeah, we just fucked up. Like sometimes in comedy, you shoot, you swing for the fences and what's the saying? You hit your mom's cut. Like you don't make it all the way.

That's true. Um, but I gotta say the second conversation was really good and very real and we really talked about whether or not men are gay straight or bi and how, you know, sexual fluidity and males and all this stuff. Yeah. And, and there was a great talk and we were like, you know, apologized for the earlier talk and he was cool with it. Yeah.

But then a little while later, not even like a half hour later, he emailed and was like, I don't want any of that. So we've always, um, we've always respected his, you know, his wish, I'm not gonna air it, but we did get to talk to him and I was so regret that it went that way. I know. I have to say in all of YMH history, I don't regret many bits or things that we have done. That is my only regret is how we handled it with him.

I, I don't, you know, like, again, we, we live and learn like, we made a mistake. We fucked up with a guy and, and I understand why he wouldn't want it to be air because he's kind of like, well, how are they going to edit this? Like am I going to look like a, this is going to be like, he's a legitimate therapist. Like that's his life and here to us jackasses. So I would love to try to have him on again. We tried and we didn't hear back, but that was like right at that time, but I'd love to follow up again.

Yeah. Because what his whole argument is really interesting that he believes that male sexuality is fluid the way they studied women's sexuality and women are very fluid in their sexuality. Like they can be bisexual at one point, lesbian and then go with a man, blah, blah, blah. And his argument is like, well, why can't men be the same way and men are in fact the same way? Um, but I don't know. Like we, you know, you and I love to talk about this because I don't, I'm not friends

with any straight males who have come to, come to me and been like, Hey, you know what? I am a straight guy. I've been with a woman, same woman for a million years. But there was that one time where part of that might be or blew each other. Like I don't have part of that though, might be that you know somebody like that, but they would never say it. That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that men are so shamed.

Yeah. Are you going to tell me the truth about something right now? Maybe. Is this another Y-mage exclusive? This is a Y-mage. No, but I also, in my time on this earth with, you know, dozens of friends, never, never had anyone been like, yeah, I did that. I've never heard somebody say that.

I know me neither. And I feel like the guys that I have talk to like that, they end up being gay eventually. Like they might go on the bisexual highway for a few years and then they're like, do you, I'm full gay now. Right. And you're like, yeah, I know. We all know. I knew, you know what I knew when you said that you blew that guy that first time.

Right. That's when we all suspected that you might be gay. Yeah. Because men are so, I mean, if there's anything we've learned from the cool guys on Y-mage, it's that men really are so driven by what they're into sexually and really don't compromise a whole lot, especially in this day and age. Like you don't really meet the guy that's like closeted and has a wife and stuff as much anymore as you did in the 1950s because society's opened up so much.

Right. And that guy just goes, no, I want to just be with that guy. I want to suck dicks now. And that's what I do. I just gobble dicks all day. I love dicks and buttholes and I love doing that stuff, you know. So now Zolo's a young guy in college. Yeah, Zoli.

Have you noticed like your experience is probably different than ours was back in our day. Do your friends go like, you know what? Fuck a couple guys this weekend. How about you, man? They sure don't. No. Not at all.

No. Nope. Still not cool. Not in the frat house or anything. Not the straight ones. Are there gay ones in your fraternity? Yeah, there's a couple, but. Really?

That's kind of, that's new and progressive. Yeah. Yeah. But. Do you guys haze them? Like, you know what I mean? Like shove your dicks in their face. No.

No. Do you guys talk about sex? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I mean with the gay guys, you ask them butt stuff and like butt sexy. They're very open about it. That's awesome.

Yeah. That's pretty cool. Super cool. Do they ever try to like, you know what I mean? Get you guys to switch teams? No. No. But hearing them talk about like their experiences on Grindr and stuff, it's fucking crazy how

easy it is for them to just hook up at any time. It's wild. That's the luckiest thing. That's the best. So they're just like, I just opened my phone and then this guy was like, I am in the grocery store. Yeah, dude. What the fuck?

They show me like the DMs and the pictures all the time and it's just nonstop like, here's this dick. Here's this fucking butthole. Yeah. So what? Like guys are so crazy. I'm serious. Yeah.

Guys, and I think it really boils down to having no reproductive consequences. Like you guys do not get pregnant. Especially a guy with a guy. Yeah. Especially nothing on the line. And even now there's a pill you can take, I think it's before you have intercourse that prevents you from contracting HIV. What?

Yeah. So it's fantastic. Isn't it? You take it before or right after. I forget. I think if you take it, if you know you're going to have like a wild weekend. Just if there's gay people listening and you don't know about it, yes, there is a pill you can take, I think before you have a sex act and it can protect you, prevent you from

contracting HIV, which is so amazing. And before you go, oh, how come you're saying only gay people and not straight people? Because we know HIV is the gay flu, okay? That's why. Well, no, because I have gay male friends who've told me that they've done this in preparation for like a wild weekend. Pre-exposure prophylaxis. Prophylaxis.

I've never heard of this. Yes. Isn't that amazing? It's amazing. I know that like now they offer you, offer you or they offer patients, what's it called? Pre-exposure. The vaccine for, what is it? Genital warts they have now, too, and they're giving it to boys so that, I mean, you better

believe I'm going to have my boys waxed when they're like, I think it's 10 or 11, you can get the genital warts vaccine. Man, I really wish we could just give boys birth control or just. That's the main thing I want to scare them to them. Yeah, tie their testes up until they're 30 so you don't fucking ruin your life. We were talking about that the other day, like how having a kid young can just destroy your life. Destroy.

Can you imagine if you had kids at 17, you'd be, you know, say goodbye to comedy. Yeah. Say goodbye to this hot piece of ass that you get to bang every night. What? Huh? Who? Hello. What happened?

69. The girl has to be on top for 69. You did not. I just felt my heart. You just did not do that. This is in my folder. Guys, OK, I'm sharing this willingly. I'm so embarrassed, but I'm going to share this.

So you know how everybody's like, we want to hear diversity in women's voices and, you know, people in wheelchairs and fat people. Back in 2008, when I was a feature act, they did not want to hear those diverse voices. Yeah. Especially in stand-up comedy. And so this. Your name is misspelled. It's miss as always, which is why I've changed it to Christina P. So this lovely woman, April

Macy, God bless April Macy. She was a headliner. She was on Last Comic Standing, took me out with her and I was her feature act. And we had clubs going literally to women. No thank you. So we had to come up with a concept to get us sold. And this is what we did. The naughty and sordid nice comedy tour.

And guess which one I was? You were sordid nice. And she was naughty. And we took these silly pictures of her in like devil horn. It was a gimmick just so that. They would book you. They would book two women on the bill. It was so unheard of.

It was like two aliens. 2008. 2008. Isn't that wild? Anyway, I was going through my stuff and I found this and I thought, oh, how embarrassing. But also, you know, I talk shit on a lot of stuff that's happened in our society. But not long ago, you know, in 2021, now they want to hear women tell jokes back. Well, I don't know.

Do they? But anyway, we pretend like we do in 2008. You look cute, Jean. Wasn't that cute? Side bangs, full action, longer blonde hair. It was a good time. So God bless April Macy. Shout out to her.

She's still working and she's very funny. You can see her. Yeah, April was really funny. She would crush. Oh, she murdered April Macy. Let me tell you. It taught me how to crush. I would watch her just, oh, she would just destroy, destroy standing ovations.

Yeah. Tampa side splitters. I'll never forget standing ovations. I saw you guys somewhere. It was probably on this tour. I saw you guys in Florida somewhere. Yeah. Yeah.

We did up and down Florida. That was our whole state. Yeah, because you guys went and you stayed at your parents' place. That's right. Yeah. For that one. And I drove down somewhere and saw you guys. I remember I went to the bathroom when I think you were on stage and this guy was

taking a leak. And another guy was like, what's going on there? He's like, some chicks doing stand up. And he goes, yeah, how big are your tits? And the guy goes, pretty big. And that was me. My future wife. And that was their conversation.

Yeah. I don't know. See, society's changed quite a lot. This is October of 2008. We were married a month later. Did you realize that? Yeah. Right now.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is right before we got married. Wow, man. 27 years. It's a long time. 38 years together. Yeah.

And they misspelled my last name as usual. This comedy club no longer is. Can you imagine if you had been like, hey, can you fix that? Sure. Oh, and fun fact at the time. My agent was the same agent who represented Screech from Saved by the Bell. He's no longer with us now. Either one.

Screech. Oh, I don't know about the agent. What was his? I don't even remember his name. You don't just say his name. I won't. So Screech would be on every club calendar a week before me. And then I get to hear what, you know, he was up to, which was kind of fun.

Another thing that's bookmarked here. Yeah. Oh, shit. With your name. What's this about? Oh, this is cool. I just showed up in my Instagram feed. Jesus.

Now you can have beautiful jewelry made from a loved one's teeth. What better way to remember the dearly departed? So. Oh my God. Then their teeth. Ugh. So disgusting. It's so ugly.

Well, if those are birds teeth, yeah, look at the middle row with all the loom, whatever, platinum and shit in your, in your fucking mouth. This looks terrible. All the cavities at least choose the teeth that don't have fillings or the, the clear fillings that they don't show as much. Jesus. Tommy, I love you so much. I'm going to have a tooth necklace made of all your teeth when you die.

Oh God. That'd be so gnarly. I'm going to, you know what, Tom, I'm going to put it in my will that when I die, they're going to pull all my teeth out and make nothing but jewelry for you. But I'll tell you, if you look at that, this screen grab, there's almost 900,000. 1,000 comments on this post. Holy shit. It's been shared almost 50,000 times.

I believe, yeah, the author of my struggle started this kind of thing, didn't it? Jesus. What? Yeah. This was started. This is a hot German trend. Oh my God. That's wild, Gene.

Yeah. Well, if you really loved me, you'd use my teeth as jewelry and I have expensive teeth. These veneers cost a fortune. You better make them into necklaces. You better believe I'm coming up in May. Look at those choppers. Yeah. I'll put this on a ring.

There she is. Just the two front ones. Those are the most expensive. Christine. All right. This is super exciting. Oh, M-jeans. Why don't we stop down?

I can't believe this is a hot bottom line. In a bit with our guests. Your mom's house will be right back. Ready in five, four, three, ready in Hamash, Arba, Shalosh, Stein. And we're back and we're super excited for today. Hold on. I'm sorry. Did he just, what was the language?

Hebrew. There's a whole language. What is that? Who speaks? Yeah. These are fucking J's, dog. These are Jews in there. Oh, J.

You're like speaking totally different languages. These are like Israelis. They always go back and forth. Oh, so it's Israeli. It's not Jewish language. Israeli language. Well, it's what they speak in Israel and they're usually in there going, I'm back and forth to each other.

Can you not be Jewish and speak Hebrew? You can. I mean, other people, like in Jerusalem or whatever, Jewish people come from, right? Yeah. But there's non-Jews there speaking Hebrew, for sure. Right. If I knew Hebrew, I could go there. You can go there.

And not be Hebrew and speak. They won't be like, what the fuck, man? You're not a Jew. Right. And I'll be like, maybe I am. You don't know. You can convert, right? Yes.

You can definitely convert. It kind of sounded like that thing, like in the Evil Dead, when they're calling the spirits out the book type thing, that's kind of what it reminded me of. Necronomicon. Yeah, you go. Yep. Oh, yeah. They're always doing this back and forth and we're just like.

Oh, you speak Jewish, too? I don't speak Jewish. I identify as Jewish. But do you understand it when they speak it? No, only to count till four. My biological dad, he could understand Polish, but he couldn't speak it. Okay. He's like mom and grandma were like off the boat Polish and my great-grandma lived with

us when we were kids. She didn't speak English. I don't know Polish for shit. I know a couple of words. But yeah, she used to beat my brother with a shoe and stuff. It was great. She used to love me, so I'd never get smacked around by her. Fantastic.

Well, who needs an intro after that? Oh, that's right. Fuck, I'm sorry. No, it's all good. This is the best way to do it. Shaggy and the Creep from the Shaggy and the Creep show are here on the couch. From the D. What's going on in the D? You guys are here.

We're super excited. You're so pumped. We're coming, first of all. Thank you for having us. No doubt, man. Let's just say. This is fantastic. It's so crazy because I think it was just like a few months ago, our guy, Josh, he's

like, you know, you gotta, you know, this guy Tom Secura broke his arm or something. I've seen your Netflix before, you know, so I knew where you were. I didn't know you did a podcast. So I told you, I don't know shit. I'm stoked. No, it's all good, man. When it comes to anything like in real life shit, I'm like lost in some other world. You completely blew our mind in the lobby here because I was like, oh, we're talking

about, you know, I got, I had this nerve transfer and I was like, how did your operation go? And you're like, I just didn't do it. Yeah. Man, I've had so many. I'll take the past option probably on the operation, even if they tell me I got to get one. I might just because look, man, it doesn't bend fully no more.

You know what I'm saying? But it works. It does work. I can pretty much do almost everything I could. Can we look at real quick? Because we have it. Sure. Sure.

So this is a injury. Yeah. You don't know this? No. Awesome. So yeah. All right. It touches me.

Good. Ready? I don't feel so dumb. Okay. Which one are we looking at? Oh, Parkour. I broke my arm. My arm's broken.

Yes. Fuck, dude. Wait. Wait. No. Parkour. Yo, and you even say a joke. Dude.

We're doing a parkour. You got to commit to the bitch. Commit to the bitch. We're jumping all over shit at the park. And you know what I'm saying? And we're doing everything. You say parkour. And you run out of the way.

You know what I'm saying? Okay, but let's not undersell the wooden Dutch clogs. That's what did it in. Yeah. The challenge was we had to wear wooden Dutch clogs that he found at something like fair in the middle of nowhere. There's a place in Michigan called Holland, Michigan, and they have a big tulip festival every year.

Picture me at a tulip festival. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Same token picture pop rolling while you're doing that. Yeah. That's heavy shit. But.

It's all good. That might be. I'm professional the way it's really. But wait, I fucking. So anybody watches this. And if you're just watching this now, you're like, oh, that dude's arm just fucking went the way it's not supposed to go. Yours.

It was. No, your shit was worse, dog. I've seen. I've seen your shit was bad. Wow. No, your shit was just pinned backwards. Like, yeah. Hyperstand it all the way back.

Well, we. I was like, hyperstand on my knee. But. My arm was also snapped in half. Right. The big bone broke. Oh, see, I didn't break. I didn't break nothing.

The thing is, first of all, you look at that and I'm like, I can't believe that arm's not broken. The second it hit. I knew it was. So what did happen? Because. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

I'll set it up right quick. All right. So anyhow, so we're shooting a vlog and the whole thing was I was in Holland, Michigan and we went to one of the gift shops before we left and they had the fucking Dutch shoes, the wooden boys. You know what I'm saying? And I was just like, I was just, come on, man, this is already right in itself. Yeah.

I'm like fucking clogged. We could do so much shit in these. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So we were like, okay, we can fucking do like a foot race. We can ride some mountain bikes, do some trails or something, do like physical shit just in wooden clogs. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. So we started out in the morning by going to the mall and try to mall walk with those people in them. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But we got kicked out so quick. We got kicked out security one having it. Yeah.

But by the time, you know, usually when people get kicked out of malls, usually kids, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Fuck you. You ain't no cop. No, I was cool as shit. But by the time we left, I shook his hand. I thought that he was the fucking guy with swords and armor at the Renaissance fair.

Yeah. Who would have known if we wouldn't have did that vlog? You know what I'm saying? Wow. The local fucking security mall guy. Yeah. So how hard is it to walk in those wooden? It sucks.

They don't bend. There's no bend. Yeah. And then so when I bought them, they told me they were like, you got to get weather stripping and put it on this piece right here because it digs into your top of your foot. Yeah. It fucks you up. Like big, like two steps in.

You didn't do that. Yeah. I had to. Yeah. Okay. So you got to get your foot open. You know what I'm saying? Wow.

And I'm not intentionally trying to get hurt at all. Right. And so anyhow, so got the shoes back and then so the morning we set it up. We're like, okay, we're going to do the mall, we're going to do this, this, this. And then we'll try to wrap it. We'll do parkour and then we'll do a race. You know what I'm saying? And we'll start to find some high school and just do the track there.

You know? Yeah. And we're like, all right, cool. So morning goes great. Did it do? Second place we head to is the park to do parkour. It's only like fucking 10 in the morning at this point. Yeah.

Oh, right. Yeah. Fucking lousy start of the day. Yeah. But you know, there's so many better things could have happened. But so anyhow, so we do, we're doing the parkour, all these silly little fucking bits and that other slide, there's another small slide to the left and it's like a little wavy shits. You know what I'm saying?

So he slid down that and it was fucking shits and he like bumped his nuts on it. Yeah. I took the, yeah, the, we call it a chat. Yeah. Like the taint. Yeah. Your taint. Yeah.

Sure. I never heard chat until your balls in your asshole. No. Chode is a fucking crazy small dick piece. Yeah. Well, no, no, it's a wide boy. It's scientifically small. It's a wide boy.

Oh, no, you're choded. That's like a thick dick. No, it's a big misconception. No, but I've never heard those mixed up. I've never heard them a chode mixed up. And you know what I used to get mixed up with chode was chum. Like shark bait. Oh, right.

I used to always call it chode. Like are you gonna throw some chode out? They were probably like, what the fuck is this guy talking about? No, I don't ever throw your chode out of the shark. Yeah. They might catch like a little bluegill or something, but. So wait, you went down, you busted your taint. So anyhow, yeah.

So he busted his shit. And I was like, yo, that was, I'm very competitive. You know what I'm saying? I can't be upstage. I can be to a certain point. But like, I'm like, look at this. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go on the bigger slide. But I was confident.

I was confident I could do it. You know what I'm saying? There was no, like, maybe I shouldn't, nothing. I was like, yo, I'm just going to see it out easy. He did the smaller slide. I was like, there's no question I can do this. So that little, what fucked me up was that little archway at the top, because I tried to slide down before I fully stood up to try to hurry up and just get it in.

And that's where I fucked up. Right. And the second I hit, of course, I knew my shit was broke. And then, so. So what do you got? You get up from here. You go straight to an ER? Or no.

Yeah. Well, it freaked me out the hardest. It was, I didn't realize it when it happened, but when I hit the floor, I completely knocked the wind out of myself, but I didn't realize it because my arm, you know what I'm saying? So when I got up, I just walked over to like, there's a little parking lot right there. It was where shade was. So I just sat back down in the shade and I'm like, yo, I'm panicking because I can't, I'm like, why can't I fucking breathe?

You know what I'm saying? I broke my arm. How come I can't breathe? And I realized, oh, I fucking knocked the wind out of me. So once I realized that I was cool and then all these fucking idiots are all panicking and shit. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, look.

My bad. My fucking bad. And then fucking the best part was right there in the parking lot was just some juggalo kid. Just be like, hey, you all right, Shaggy? I'm just like, oh, fucking off the fucking time. You took a fucking photo. I told him I was like, I'll upload it.

Who gives a shit? I was like, yeah, fuck. I don't care. Whatever. But yeah. So then I just had our guy call my wife. I was just like, yo, just ask her what's fucking emergency room to go to so she knows what you want to meet me at.

You know what I'm saying? So he's all like, oh, if I was going to take him to an emergency room, I'm just like, just fucking tell her, man. Who gives a shit? She knows I'm out here. We didn't want to tell her that we broke his arm. Like it felt like little kids not want to tell mom. So when the ER, did they x-ray you first?

Yo, all right. So well, first they shot me up with painkillers. You know what I'm saying? Of course, after I did the paperwork with my left hand. And so they hooked me up with that and it still didn't matter, man. That shit did like nothing. You know what I'm saying? They took the x-rays and all that, you know?

And then the doctor came in, he was just like, I don't know what to tell you. But right when he said, I was like, yo, what happened? He was like, it's not broken. What? He was like, you know, you're the third person today that I started like that and like questioned me before I could finish. Well, maybe you started a different fucking approach. You know what I'm saying?

Come in. Well, you know, it's not so good. You know, this shit's all right. So at first, before he actually did, he was like, this shit's broken. He was like, no doubt. He was like, yeah, this is he was like, you did this doing what he was like, yeah, it's fucking broken. So you'd like looking at it, whereas I didn't do it was all swollen up and shit, you know?

And so he was just like, when he saw the x-ray came in, he was like, I can't explain to you how, but it's not broken. So go see orthopedic guy. You know what I'm saying? So whatever I set that up. And then I went in there and this was like maybe two weeks later, so I'm like the week and a half later, something like that. We told him to keep.

I had to like keep it a certain way. So it didn't step or some shit, some doc orders. I don't know. He follows those. So anyhow, yeah, so when I went, they did the MRI and he looked at it, you know, saying, oh, actually, he sent me to go do the MRI. So I went to the orthopedic guy. He looked at it.

He was like, OK, pretty much it's about this time I had that clip. So I was able to show him what happened. I didn't have to describe it's like a fucking moron. You know, I was on a slide, I told like four doctors that story the whole time and I had to start from the very beginning each time so they'd understand why the fuck I was on a slide in class. You know, I was sliding down a clock. I got to explain.

Did they, they must have liked having it on video, right? They're like, oh, OK. Oh, it was dope. The nurse was in the blog. She was like, you know, I was like, wow, what a trooper. You know what I'm saying? I was like, yeah, you can hit her up out back. Go get some Dilata.

She's like, yep. I'm like, fuck yeah. Did you get it? Yo, it's worth breaking your arm. Just for a lot. It is the fucking bad. It's good that that's not. Is that available on the streets?

If it is, look out, man. Holy fuck. Fentanyl was fun, too. I like. I don't know. I used to take that from my back. I had a patch. But I never got fucked.

It's nothing like Dilata. It is. I pissed negative on a piss test. Well, with a fentanyl patch on. Really? I don't know. Maybe my immune system to the fentanyl. I don't know.

Jesus. No, I don't fuck with that. Wait, you got the MRI. Right. And I never went back. But the doctor did tell me before I got the MRI. Snuck that in there real quick. I never went back.

But he said that he looked at it and she saw my range of motion, which basically was like at the time, like maybe that, you know what I'm saying? It was hurt like a bitch doing and he said, it's kind of just like like a baseball player throwing out his arm. It's like you probably got some tears in your tendon. It should heal on its own. But why don't you go get an MRI? We'll see where you go.

So you don't know what the MRI results are? No. They emailed it to me. I never looked at them. Oh my. I don't know why. This is breaking news to me, by the way. Will you at least, will you please just do this?

Just this. What? When you get back. Yeah. Call the doctor that sent you the email. I don't know his fucking name. That's the problem. I was gonna.

I was gonna, but I don't know his name. Wait, from the email. From the email. That's like some long shit. Reference to email. But then I got to look and find, I don't know where to find that. In your email. I told you I don't know shit about nothing.

I just want, I just want you to document like a speaker phone call with like, yo, what's up with this? Am I right? Oh, like get him on there? Like, yeah dude, your tendons are torn in half or whatever they are. I mean, I could probably just go by like his office and just see what the name is. Yeah, you could. Yeah, yeah.

Call him. Call him. I'm at the point now, seriously. Well, I'm good. You know what I'm saying? You feel good. Well, I don't. You can move it.

There's so much shit locked up and broken in my body. This is just. Really? Another added collection thing. Yeah. But whatever. I can move it. It works.

Is there any other injuries? I ain't got time to fucking have that on my shit for seven months. No, I know. You know what I'm saying? I can't be fucking around my right arm like that. You know what I'm saying? I can't fucking open them bottles. What I'm supposed to do on stage, you know?

That's true. That's true. That's my beauty arm. You know what I'm saying? I learned a hard lesson that day. You know what I'm saying? I want to know how did you guys like get to get? How did you guys meet up?

All right. Actually, we we had our company hired him for social media. I knew him around like the scene a little bit, you know, so I didn't properly know him, but like I knew, you know, this kid does like comedy and shit. He's like, I knew him as a stand up comedy comic in the juggler world, and he would be hosting events at the gathering and shit for us. You know what I'm saying? Like juggler, night court and all types of shit.

You know what I'm saying? And I called him a couple of times. I was like, all right, he's a funny dude. But whatever. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It is what it is. I'm fucking stupid, busy anyhow.

And so then when he started working for us on our social media, you know, I kind of like fucking opened my eyes to it. I didn't know how to do Instagram. I didn't know how to do none of that stuff. Yeah. And then when he started working for us, he was like showing it to me and I was like, I should do some shit. Maybe I should do Instagram shit.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so I just had all these dumb ideas and I was like, you know, it'd be cool also to like make this Instagram lead to some shit. You know what I'm saying? And then so he was already like in the process of like doing vlogs and shit. They really wasn't doing shit with and then he brought up to me and I was like, I used to do some shit in the late nineties and early 2000s called the Shaggy show.

I just bring a camera with me on the road and we'd be fucking around and shit like that. And they're along and drawn out and they were on the actual VCR or take a VCR tape on your shoulder camera. Yeah. And I was sitting in the back of the bus with like that going to a VCR editing it myself. You know what I'm saying? Really? Then I would take the VCR tape and I would send it to our office wherever I was at in

America and I'd send it to the office and I don't know how the fuck they'd upload it on the computer, but it looked like shit. But you know what I'm saying? So I was like, the idea sounds awesome. I've tried like rebooting it a couple of times, but it's just never really worked. You know what I'm saying? And then when I was talking to him, we just shot like a, I guess what you call a pilot vlog.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And the chemistry was cool and all that. You know what I'm saying? We just kind of clicked the way we bounced off each other. And I was just like, let's do it. You know what I'm saying? It's fucking mad.

You know, mad fun. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. All this streaming shit to me. It's brand new. You know what I'm saying? I don't know nothing about it. I started when quarantine started.

Probably like 10 billion other people. We were streaming shit. You know what I'm saying? Okay. I mean, we got like you guys are having a lot of fun together. You guys are having a lot of fun together. So silly. Yeah.

Well, that's why I loved you. You and I were DMing each other and I'm like, these guys are just silly. Yeah. Like you kind of remind us a little of Tom and me, except maybe a little more advanced. Hey, hey, hey. Like me and me and Tom have a similar build. You guys are fun. Like you throw pies in each other's face.

No. Pie-fiving. That's the difference. It's going to take over the world. Pie-fiving. Pie-fiving. Pie-fiving. Yeah.

So run a shop. Run a supermarket. Yeah. We just went to the grocery store and bought like two fucking just basically our vlogs are the same. You couldn't do when you're a kid. Yeah. Yeah, we bought like two fucking grocery carts full of food and we stick it to the park.

We're fucking karate chopping and punching it and hitting with baseball, bad bitch in it. And then there was like a fucking like a drunk guy that would just showed up and he was a part of it all of a sudden. Fucking Bobby. Yeah. Fucking some super drunk, you know, the police came and got them. Yeah.

He was that type of drunk like a nuisance. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody called somebody called the police on him. Yeah. We were just dumb shit like that. You know what I'm saying? And then so that we were about to be done.

We had two pies. We were like, look, so what should we do? We were like, oh, what about a high five? What about a pie five? We're like high five with pies. So we did it. We were like, oh, shit. That's something.

It sounds like fun. That's all we do now is pie five. That's all you're going to see at the gathering. It's just it's already starting. Yeah. But we're going to come out with like a fucking like three hour long pie five compilations. Yeah. Any kind of pie.

It could be a McDonald's drive-thru pie and to be we want people out there doing it. We just did a blog. This pie place in Michigan and they, you know, real pies, not even Walmart boys. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Real motherfucking. They made them in front of our faces.

We made them with them. And you destroyed them in front of them. We pie fives with them. You know what I'm saying? It was fucking great. That's cool. Yeah. Pie five, man.

Yeah. No, it's been really fun for me. Yeah. I was doing a lot of stuff behind the scene. I kind of grew up a fan, which is still kind of crazy to me. Yeah. Like I was explaining it to my dad. Like my dad is a huge.

This is this. This is good. It's like a huge blood zeppelin thing. You know what I'm saying? I'm not going to work with your hero. You're a hero. That's what could be me to his dad and Led Zeppelin. Why are you?

Why? What? That was a kid when Led Zeppelin was out. No, I'm saying what my dad likes. I know. Yeah. You're good. But you know what?

Now that I've just been talking to the two of you and especially listening to you, I get it now. Like I know why you're such a draw in this community of juggalos. How do I say this? You're so real and you're so lovable. Wow. Lovable? Yes.

Let me tell you. I mean, I'd go with likable. I know you're so sweet. That was my lane, but I guess I'm lovable now. I love it because I can smell. I feel like I smell bullshit a mile away. I thought you were going to say just normal shit. I was like, sorry.

No, you're not normal. I've always been hot out today. But you're no bullshit. And I think there's something really cool. Well, it is interesting because like we were talking about like what, like what anybody is aware of the phenomenon, like of what, what has, you guys have created. Of course. It's, it's wild to think of like the way you affect people's lives, picture being the

one that's doing that. That's what I'm saying. None of this was intentional. You know what I'm saying? Which is the craziest part. It just organically grew into what it was. You know, we didn't even, we didn't ever, we didn't make up the word juggalo. You know what I'm saying?

I don't know where the fuck it came from. You don't even know? Juggalos came up with it. Straight the fuck up. And you know, they called their fans shit, oh my whatever the fuck. Juggalo wasn't done like that. We didn't come up with that. The only thing that I guess we were, I was talking about like what do you attribute like

such like the fandom to and one thing I think you said was, because I heard somebody one time in an interview say, they were, they were at the gathering I think and they were like, well, you know, when you come here, you just be who you want to be. Yeah, of course. You can be yourself. That's here. Some people take that line too far though. Yeah.

You're like a fucking Batman mask guy and like a dick hanging out. It's like, come on, God. Put some pants and nobody wants to see that. No one. That's who you are. And you can, but come on. Nobody really. I'll show you.

Too much. Wait, this is a, I saw this clip a long time. We played this on our podcast. Maybe I'm not kidding you here. Close to 10 years, probably like eight or nine years ago, and it's from this. It's from a, I guess we're doing this podcast nine years ago. We started this in 2010. Holy shit.

Yeah. That's awesome. Wow. Fuck. Wow. I wouldn't have known what we've had our eye on the juggalos for quite a while. And it's from a American juggalo. I'm sure you've probably seen it, right?

Wait, American juggalo. Is that? But it's just like, I guess there was a camera crew that was at a gathering. Anyways, we used to play this clip like over and over as one of like these funny, like first a clip and then the drop over and over because it was just so funny to me the way this guy spoke. I'll tell you for real about being a juggalo man. That shit made me the motherfucker I am today.

Honest to God, man. If one of them fucking Jay and Shaggy, that shit would not be on. I would be, I don't want to fucking think the kind of motherfucker I'd be. I'd grow up to be a fucking decent, fucking good hearted, good nations motherfucker. Hold on. Wait. I'm a fucking nice person. Cook like a motherfuckers, make some fucking straight up fucking grub, fucking chicken

fry steak, fucking collard greens, fucking mashed potatoes, all that fucking good ass sausage, gravy, biscuits. What's he talking about this now? Everything, man. I cook like a motherfucker. Any ass little bitch and make her fat, then we go lose weight together and we'll bond. That's all in the same fucking sense. He's the best.

He's got his five year plan. His laugh. We saw, he just do something and we just play his laugh over and over. This guy's lived with us for a decade. He's high. I'm guessing he is. Wow. It's probably not a weed either.

No, something. Fucking mashed potatoes. No, that's definitely. Yeah. He's talking about. Have you not seen that before? I've seen it, but I don't recall that part. I've seen it so long ago.

I think, man, I don't know. Yeah, of course. Maybe I did. Maybe I did. I'm on the front. I don't know. I probably didn't. Do you attribute this fucking call?

Let's call it what it is. I didn't see it. You didn't see it. I'm trying to be nice. No. I've never seen this shit, man. I think I might have seen little clips. It looks familiar, but what do I know?

But the level of fandom is so... It's insane. Yeah. You guys have talked about it before on your show about tattoos people get. Yeah. It's not just... It's like their whole fucking body. It's not just a tattoo, bro.

Yeah. It's like head to toe murals. You know what I'm saying? How do you... Let me ask you a question. Yeah. As a person, a normal person, put all celebrity shit aside. You know what I'm saying?

All of that shit. You know what I'm saying? It's 7-Eleven on Tuesday afternoon. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And some motherfucker walks in with your face tattooed all over his body. Yeah. It's no different for me.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It still blows the fucking wig way up my head. Absolutely. You know what I'm saying? My wig is fucking back in Timbuktu somewhere, though. Yeah. Like straight to fucking...

You put me on you? What the fuck? And then they just pull it up like it's nothing. I'm just like... Yeah. I don't know what the fuck... I don't know how to say thank you. Just sort of sucking his dick.

I don't know. Yeah. How do you say thank you to that? That tattoo of me on his arm, and then he was like, I'm coming to your show. And I was like... All right. You want tickets? He's like, no, I got tickets.

And I was like... See, now, in your situation, when somebody gets a tattoo of your face, you probably think he's a fucking wackadoo, though. I do. They're gonna obsess with a weird fan, right? Yeah. Like, oh no. I think you're out of your mind.

But to me, that's a natural thing in my world. For you. It's like, it's flatter. It's like, holy shit. Now, wait. Getting a tattoo. But yeah, I could see... That's why I was wondering.

I was like, yeah, just a picture of your face. Is going far? You know, I do, I appreciate all the comments. You know, we all make mistakes. No. That's just freshly done, too. What do you mean? Having this on my face has been a destruction to my life.

You think? You fucking think? Emotionally, I can't have a decent life with this on my face. What the... Are you just now thinking of this? You know, it kind of took me out there far beyond space can reach. And I'm trying to turn my life around. How?

And try to be the best of the best I can be. The only thing you can be in life now is a violent J.M. person. That's it. That's all he can do for work now. It's about time I'm 35 years old. Oh my god. I need to do something with it. This turned his life around, though.

This turned his life around. Hold on, though. He's talking about how it ruined his life. Look how fresh and clean and knew that tattooing. That's like fresh out the chair almost. Just done scabbing type shit. So this affected his life quick. You know what I'm saying?

Another flush of dollar trains, obviously. He's like two hours later. Damn, man. We fucked his life up fast. He fucked it. I had nothing to do with that. You had nothing to do with that. That guy thought of his fucking goal.

No, exactly. So like this guy, I want to be like, hey, you know the real guys just painted on right there? That's what I was just thinking. You could just do that to him. I thought money is your tattooing. But come on, man. What the fuck kind of weirdo does that?

I know. Oh, boy. He's back. I wonder what's going on with the face tattoo. It's a very slow, slow, slow process. It's going to take maybe two, three years for it to actually see some major, major results. You ever see shit at their sleep? Like one session at a time, man.

Oh, my God. Oh, he does that on his face? He posts them. Yeah. It's so pretty. Certain lighting makes it look darker and certain air. Lighting makes it look brighter. But you know, yeah, I made some very horrible, regrettable, if you want to call them regrettable.

It's just sad mistakes. Oh, it's not regrettable. He doesn't regret it, but it was a mistake. It was a mistake. You can separate the two if you really want to. If you want to like fool yourself, I guess you can. Wow. Hey, y'all, I just want to explain the tattoo process.

We got it. We got it. It looks like you might have been in the army at some point too or something. At that hair, yeah. You just never gave it up, you know? Yeah. It's like a top layer of skin. Then they just go deeper.

His accent is not making him sound smarter at all. You ever hear like somebody's really smart talking to Hillbilly accent? Yeah, yeah. It's silly. You're like, you're, I don't, I'm not giving you my money. You dumb fuck. And they're like, I went to Harvard, man. It'd be like, no, you didn't.

You're lying, Hillbilly. Are all the videos this sad? I don't know. I don't have any mango. Can we fast forward to the bubbles? Let me see. He's kind of feasible. I understand, man.

All right. Hey, I got another thing to say. It looks like it's sharpie. Let me try and wipe it. It does. It does. Like he passed out drunk and, you know, let me fuck them up. And now I'll say this.

It does look a little better. Hey, hey, hey. Well, look, no, no, no. It doesn't, it looks less worse. It doesn't look any better. It's less worse. Let's get that straight. Vote for Trump.

Okay. So we're talking voting now. But I guess we do that. He's turning his life around. Yeah. See, now he's got the attention from the pit. That's what he says. That was his ploy all along.

Just to get real. To reel him in. Oh, what? That's when he got it. No way. I don't believe it. Look how little he looks. That's just a hundred percent.

Just do it out though. I don't believe it. There's no way he got that. Come on, man. That's, that's, no. Did you, did you fact check this? Uh, yeah. So I was saying, yes.

Wow. I thought maybe he just got a recently being that old. Okay. Okay. What is he fucking 16 there? He looks young. Full disclosure. He did a lot of drugs and alcohol.

What? Come on, really? Yeah. And that may have aged him prematurely. This was a two-week difference. That isn't met 35. All right. This is as soon as the scab healed up.

That was him. So that two weeks. Man, he aged. Drugs. Drugs were those. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Aren't you doing this, man? Yeah. Are you not on the team? Creeper. I'm thinking about, well, you know what? I was thinking about it, but seeing this video now, I think I'm good. I don't want to end up like that.

That's, that's many, many a fucking. It's just sad. You said you were sad. It blowed me out. It bummed me out. Are you a fan or what? I hate face paint. I can't, I fucking I can't know.

What is, what is it, what is a fan? It's short for fanatic, right? Fanatic. Fanatic. Fanatic, oh my fuckers do fanatical things. He's that motherfucker a fan? He used to be. Yeah, no question.

I'm your pal. I'm your pal. At one point there was, oh. Fair enough. I'm your pal. Do you think he can even listen to the music anymore? Probably not. He sounds like a whole different guy.

I bet if your shit comes on he just fucking put you in. You're so right. Yeah, he's just like. This is the shit that sent me off on the road. Yeah, we probably don't, we probably don't dig up good memories now. This is the music that ruined my life. Yeah. He's not, he's not going to be a good Danish car and turn us on.

He's saying, oh let's get this day started. Fuck. That's so funny. Wow. Yeah, ICP is your like depression music. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. What the fuck did I do?

I love his chin hair too. What the fuck? Yo. Wait, he had to have been old enough to grow chin hairs like that at least, no? Yeah. You're right. He had to have been at least. Maybe he was just really young looking 18.

Probably like in that count. 35. Yeah. He held onto that shit for like 15 years. I thought those were tear drops on his, it's a hatchet man on his face? Yes. He went all in, bro. Oh shit.

He went up full retard. Full. Right? Like the mood. There's no going back. Full retard. Retarded. Dogging every day just waking up, living with.

Imagine. Wow. I don't know what to say to that guy. If he came up to me, I wouldn't approve. I'd be like, what the fuck? What are you doing? I just tell you. I might slap him, but probably not.

I don't know. Just to put some sense into him, you know. Watching this Tik Tok with you is the best thing ever in my wildest dreams. I imagine this would happen. We had so much fun when we found this guy. Wow. I'm just, I'm like, my jaw's on the floor. Like, wow.

So is ours for like, we covered it for like two years. That's why, that's why it's like not shocking to me now. We're so used to it. We're so used to it. You got to understand, this is the first time I've seen this. So it's fucking crazy to me. I've heard of people doing like the tattoo face paint and stuff, but yeah, that's, that's. I heard something.

There was like, there was another guy on our label that had face paint. And I heard somebody had this face done up like him, but I don't know what happened with that. But this, I've never seen no Tik Tok shit like this. I mean, to show if your thing is like, I only show my, I want to show my level of fandom by getting facial tattoos of what the pros paint on. But he didn't even finish the job. This is the best way.

I can, this is the best way I can explain my feeling towards this. Yeah. The way you probably felt when that crazy fan came up to you and tattoo your face, like some tattoos are acceptable. Yeah. You don't say you get a record cover or something on your arm. Okay. Whatever the fuck.

I understand people got pink Floyd tattoos, whatever, but you don't say that's, that's obsessive weird shit. Yeah. You don't say that. You're not right in the fucking head if you get shit like that done. And I don't want to be around you. You need to be medicated. Maybe it is now.

Maybe that's why he's like, oh yeah. He still sounds dumb as fuck though. Don't he? He sounds really fucking dumb when he talks. He does so fucking dumb. He does. Like would you let him babysit? Fuck no.

Exactly. Even without the face paint. What are the face tattoo? That's not even paint. What am I talking about? Oh my God. Yeah. He sounds dumb as shit.

I wonder why he took the piercing out of the lip too. You could see the hole where it used to be. Everything changed. Everything changed. So it's not just the makeup. It's the Caesar cotton fucking soul patch. He literally was like, this shit has ruined my life. I don't think his life is going nowhere from the kids.

He looks like he's working on cars now. I don't know what's going on man. This is complete life. It kind of looks like Murr from the Practical Jokers, don't it? Like he's playing a prank or something like that? That angle. Wow. What do we have?

Oh, this is another true ICP thing? I don't know. I don't know what this is. What did I say? Please stop using the fucking audio contact. If you don't know who ICP is and you've never fucking... The what? It's very effective to me as a let and the other low is no let's out there.

I'm pretty sure of it. ICP, I love your makeup. But not that you don't know the words. Oh. I didn't understand anything she said. What did she say? I think she was saying... Annoying white girl language?

Don't be a poser. Don't be a poser thing. Like don't be like I'm down with the makeup. Right? So it's kind of like not like appropriating the clown culture. Right, right. If you will. Like when I was...

Okay. Like when I was goth, like I was all in. You were goth? Oh, for like so many years. Fucking awesome. Were you hollering when she was goth? No, I got her. I got her.

Did you see the pictures and shit? Oh, yeah. We were like, oh man. You need to dress up. When I met her, she was wearing like fishnets and smoke. Okay. I know how it is. I've been married for a long time.

The point is when you're goth, you go all in. You go hard, which is I imagine what the juggalos are all about. Like you're either all in this culture or you're not. But there is perpetrators everywhere. That's what I'm saying. So you're a fucking weekend. Posers, whatever it is. Posers, bro.

Like you would buy your shit at Hot Topic versus going to like the real store. I remember hearing that. People would call them Hot Topic Juggalos. I remember that. Fuck that shit, bro. But to me, I'm like... I had a couple Hot Topic shirts. I'm not gonna fuck it.

Here goes my standpoint on that. I'm like, yo, I love Hot Topic Juggalos. Not just because of the money aspect, but like some of these kids, like especially back in the day before like internet was real big and shit, you know, like the 90s and shit. Where would kids buy clothes? You couldn't buy them on the internet and shit. You had to go to just a fan club shit. What if you live in Butthole, Arkansas?

You know what I'm saying? It's true. Your local mall has Hot Topics. You can get it there. You know what I'm saying? I save more power to them. Yeah. But they don't care I shit no more or whatever.

That's what she's saying. She's like, I'm a hardcore juggalette. You don't pretend like, don't front homie. Yeah. Well, hey. I mean, I can't argue with her. I guess. I don't want to.

I like her. I hope that everybody that has posted a video that we're playing is like, damn, you fuck a shit on me. So... I didn't shit on his butt. No, you didn't. I know you didn't. But that guy who changed you ruined his life.

Oh, come on. That guy's a fucking moron. Hey, I'll stand on that till the day I die. Yeah. That guy's a fucking idiot. Even when it's all done, you're going to see some scar. You hit him in the right light. You're going to see them all fuckers still.

Oh, not even in the right light. And I'm just going to still be. I'm going to do this. That's M-H is all you can do. Yes. Yeah. There you go. There's nothing you can do.

What's up, guys? It's Juggaloy Esmar. I think I know him from New Greets. Really? He probably not. I just put it on. I made like a video or two today, I think. I'm not sure.

I just barely put it on. I didn't have enough white. So my white's kind of fucking here right now. So whatever you got to do, what you got to do, you got to work with what you got. Or you could just go buy some white fucking paint. You'd be a true Juggaloy. What if you're poor and you just don't have the money for clown paint? Yeah, thank you.

Yeah. Well, I was a goth. I didn't know. I went to the Halloween store once a year. I bought all my fucking makeup supplies. But do you know how hard it is for a clown on the come up? All right, shit. I guess not.

I guess fucking not. Right. Yeah. Because that's real shit. Yeah. You run out of white. Hey, how many times have I ran up like, yo, I need fucking black. Yeah.

I'm like, I'll always find one in the bottom of some bags. And he's the fucking guy doing it. All right. So just picture this. He's an amateur. Right. Yeah. Cut the guy some slack.

Well, how does this happen? You're being awfully like, like critical of this guy. Oh my God. Just some kidness. You know, you don't even want to know the conversation we had before. I mean, he probably just did this for fun. He's not trying to get famous. Well, how's his handiwork?

He's beating the shit out of him. Give me a critique of the work. Oh, his face. It looks like how did you? I mean, of course it looks like shit. You know what I'm saying? You'd be silly. Not to think about it.

What if I came on your show? What if I sat down and I had that on? I'd be like, this guy is fucking in my ass. You'd be like, he's not serious. You probably think I was drunk or something, right? Yeah. He's like serious. You'd be like, oh man, we got an alcoholic.

Yeah. This sucks working with these guys. I'm not dogging them because for somebody that doesn't do this for a living, just putting that on their face like that. That's true. Look how straight his lines is. There's no blurs or nothing. It looks like a fucking, like somebody filled in with a fire hose or something, but other

than that. How about some good old scissor sounds? Whoa. Oh, scissor sounds. Scissor sounds. Like two shits? Pretty much be all scissor sounds if you guys don't mind. I know there's a lot of people that just play scissor with him.

He's doing ASMR. Oh, what? ASMR. ASMR. Wow. So he's just like, some people, some people just like find it pleasurable to hear sounds like that or like. Yeah.

People eating. People eating like that. Yeah. That's what I, if my dogs are even like licking their faces, I'm like, get the fuck out of it. I hate that noise more than anything. It's the worst noise I've ever heard. You're not an ASMR guy.

It's a huge fucking thing though. Like, if you do a video, just get mad millions of hits. Okay. So I understand. I just like the scissor noise. So I see some shit back in a day. I don't know what the fuck it was. I was like HBO or something.

I can't remember. But it was like a documentary about weird fucking Kingston fetishes. Oh, it's probably real sad. Real sad. No, no. Definitely it was not that. I remember that shit was big when it came. It was on some bootleg shit.

It was not on that. Okay. But it was this fucking big fat dude. And he was like, you know, he was, he was, he was like maybe like 30 or something. He looked like, you know, you know, big fat kid face, you know what I'm saying? Those kids, rosy cheeks. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Come on, guy. But, but anyhow, so is this type of dude and he would travel to this club in Manhattan and go to the secret bait basement for guess what fetish what blowing up balloons until they pop. And he, he, when it pops, he busts a nut. He's like, oh, he loves, he fucking loves it when they pop and there's a whole fucking room in these motherfuckers together. So stoked.

Busting off balloons. He was there. Hold on. Are they allowed to, are they allowed to masturbate at the same time? I don't, I didn't get into the specs. I just, they didn't, they just told me that. That's a reason to. After I seen that, I didn't do no research.

I was done with it. But that's a reason to go to a place for that. Otherwise you could do that at home. I'm just saying, well, that's probably more bigger now. You know what I'm saying? Like at home because, because of social, you know, whatever computer shits people getting together. But yeah, at one point that guy probably was sitting at home just popping balloons by himself

and look what he has now. He's like, I'm so fucking far. There's a place to do it. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Maybe I'm saying one day you'll have a place to take off the scissors. Who knows? We can only hope.

Why is he looking at his other hand? What's in his other hand? Yeah, why is he holding it like that? The arm. Yo, picture waking up in the middle of the night and that kid's standing over you doing that. Oh, shit. You just hear that, right?

You think you're dreaming. You just hear that. You sit up. You just look up. You're like white, the cold, out your eyes. Shit. You look, it's just this motherfucker. Same face face.

You know what he looks like? He looks like John Wayne Gacy right now. He looks like, he looks like the dude from Full Metal Jacket, the one that shoots him. Yeah. Proud of him. Proud of him. Proud of him. He's crazy too.

Proud of him. Look. He's only in set up a gun. He's got scissors. He's going to cut his own neck. And then he's doing other sounds with his other hand. Is that what that was? Like little fucking hand dancing bells?

Yeah. Like he's like clicking on the walls or something. Now, I'm assuming you have taken to a superhuman. That's my boy. Okay. I was hoping so. I can't get enough of him, dawg. Yeah.

We do a Patreon stream. I see PETA's. We do a Patreon stream. We're not doing it in August, but we do it every other month and it's just, we do it on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. And every stream is, we just do a plethora of dumb shit and we throw a wrestling like once a month on it. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. JCW. We got on a wrestling league or whatever the fuck it's called. In your own nation. Your own nation. Yeah. Whatever the fuck. I don't know why I can't think of it.

You know, a federation. Whatever the fuck. A wrestling guys. Right. But anyhow, so yeah, so we brought him in to do a run in in a professional wrestling setting. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

It was fucking fantastic, dawg. I was so upset because I tried to, I like, I don't know DM or nothing. I just went to his Instagram and like left him a message. I was like, yo, come in a day early. I'll pay for your hotel to do so we can shoot a vlog or do some shit together. You know what I'm saying? He was like, I can't, you know, because I don't know scheduling or I think his parents are kind of like his handlers or something.

I'm not sure. Oh, okay. But because his mom was traveling with him and shit and I know his dad does shit with him on it. You know what? I don't think he's got it fully together. You can't just be doing that. Oh yeah.

I mean, this is fucking. So today I'm going to get hit by we watchers for Chickaloo's and Chickaloo's. Do not try this at home when I hope you like it. What did we say? Chickaloo's enjoying this shit. Can I have it on my leg before? That's your hold. Not fun.

No. Fuck. Fuck. No. See, it's not even wrestling at this point. It makes me laugh so hard. I can't, my wife, I swear, my wife was like, what the, why you watch that? What are you looking at that for?

Did you see the one where he drops the elbow on the microwave? Yes. Oh my God. And the microwave just says, like that. It just bends around his ribs. Or he's jumped onto like fluorescent lights. You know what I mean? I'm scared for him.

He's going to fuck himself up for real one of these guys. One more. But in the meantime, I'm loving it. Yeah, he's the best. Jumping onto Legos. Mousetraps. Mousetraps. Mousetraps.

I know you knew what a gusset was before. Wait, this is bullshit. Did you know what a gusset was? I didn't. Now I do. Fuck this shit. Yo, I was about to feel bad. The oversell is fucking awesome.

Yeah, it's great. It's great. At some point he stepped his game up because when he first started, he was like jumping on mattresses. Oh, he's got platforms built and everything now. It was so shitty. Well, look at that. One day Legos and toasters.

The first time I saw it was on Twitter. Yeah. It had been retweeted. He did. He did some shit during the quarantine. Yeah. It was. He did a fucking live stream.

No shit. Yeah. I watched it. I'm so glad that you connected with him, though. So, dawg, I can introduce you to a host of motherfuckers like that. You'd be like, what in the fuck? What have I been missing out on in this world? Yeah.

I mean, fuck it. You're talking in our wheelhouse. This is what your mom's house is all about. I'm telling you, dawg. I was also saying to look into a dude named Danny Kay. That's all I'm going to say. All right. You write that down.

It used to be D-A-N-Y-K. Yeah. Now it's D-A-N-N-Y-K-A-E. He legally changed his name to Danny Kay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. He lives in Alaska now.

That's all I'm going to say. I'm not going to go on no further. No, we'll definitely check him out. We don't want to spoil it. Good luck. I was all I'm saying is good luck. Do you, you said, I asked you if you like kind of pinch yourself. You can't believe what you've built, right?

Like the, you say every day. If you don't put yourself in check, you, I can't imagine putting, not putting myself in check. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's like, it's, it's, it's, you just look around. You're like, what? You just wanted to be a rapper.

Like I'm, I'm that guy. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel like, you know what I'm saying? I don't even know how to explain it. Yeah. But anyhow, uh, yeah, man, we, this was not, we started with just two kids that wanted to rap. Well, actually we wanted to wrestle.

Then we wanted to rap. And then we started rapping. We made it big. And then we got into WWF because we were stars already found a loophole, but we did it. Yeah. And WCW and ECW and TNA and all that shit. So you've been on all of it now? All of it.

Yeah. Yeah. My body's in great shape from that. 350 pound muscular man throwing me around. It was awesome. And it was like my younger self was beating the fuck out of me. I should be, huh? How brutal were those?

Really? That's real shit, man. I mean, it's all about, it's all about, it's like a dance. You know what I'm saying? It's like you're 1000% trusting the other guy. You know what I'm saying? That's what it's all about. Trust.

And to the point where you could just be in a fist fight with this guy in the locker room, but you trust him with your life in the ring. You know what I'm saying? Because you're in the same profession. Right. And it's all about a bounce and a dance and the way you do it. And if the other guy is about the other guy doing it and you making him look good and vice versa.

You know what I'm saying? Wait a minute. So you're saying. But you really slam the fuck out of each other. The physical part of it, it's not as real as it looks, but it's real as fuck. Yeah. I've broken my neck. You know what I'm saying?

Wow. Literally. Did you go to the hospital? Did you get treated? I didn't open that email. I didn't open that one. I didn't know it was broken. I went to the hospital.

They didn't x-ray. They just stitched up my face and then sent me on my way. So I was just like for like ever and then it kind of got better. Kind of got better. And then I couldn't move my left arm. So I just hold it like a puppet and but my hand worked. So I was good. And then a bro.

Jesus. And then so far now I went and then the guy, the doctor was like, holy fuck, man. I feel like your doctors need to CC your wife on a fucking few emails. My wife was a nurse. Picture that. It's probably for the best. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's straight the fuck up. But a bachelor. Like she got the bachelor degree. All that shit. She's a real ass nurse. Yeah. But yeah. So I was out.

There was like a fragment of like a shard of my spine or my spinal cord or whatever the bones are called in your spine was sticking into the spinal cord or vertebrae or vertebrae was whatever the fuck your bones you can break in your neck. Yeah. Yeah. When it broke of piece went into my spinal cord into the fucking boy with all the nerves. You know the the. Yeah.

Yeah. Your spinal column. So that's why my arm didn't work. You know what I'm saying. But it didn't hurt. You know what I'm saying. The arm. It just didn't work.

You know what I'm saying. So I just came back on its own. And you got a right now you got we got to get you a surgery fix your neck. I'm like look man I've been walking around for like six months now just let me go home and we could do it tomorrow. You know what I'm saying. He just asked me some hefty shit right quick. You bought and they go through the front of your neck.

How scary is that. That's what they did. That's what they do for next. No. But did you have it done. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

And then I got that done. Oh no. No. I didn't get that done then. But well. How long did you wait. Oh no. This is the second time I broke my neck when I have never mind.

I'm not going to get into it. And you broke it wrestling also. But I finished the show. That was the best part. But yeah. That's when I was walking around for months and then the first time it just kind of healed. But the reason why I broke so bad the second time was because it was already fucked up for getting broke the first time and kneeling by itself.

God damn dude. So the second time it was totally got fucked up. You know what I'm saying. But when I want that you know what I'm saying. They fixed it. And then years later it's called degenerative disc disease. So you just lock up. Yeah.

So I had to go back in. They had to cut. This is why I'm worried about your right arm. You know what. This is the least of my worries. Straight up. We actually did one of our first podcasts was from his hospital bed. Oh yeah.

Yeah. We just went in there. I was wearing a surgery on my neck. With a laptop. With a laptop. With a disease. As the nurses were like yo we just started doing this podcast a couple weeks ago. And we're supposed to do it today.

I was paying up. I told him what to do. The nurses knew who I was and stuff. I was just in a normal ass hospital. There was a. I think at one point we were looking at the comments like his nuts are hanging out. He had a little bib on. So we're like let's tuck those in.

Okay. I was high shy that fucking pump thing. I was just hitting as much as you could. I didn't feel like I was high. Now what about you? You have any broken bones? You know I broke my foot once in high school. Okay.

Me and him are kind of the polar opposite. You know like he's got all the tattoos. He's done wrestling. Broken every bone. I'm kind of a straight shooter man. Yeah. I'm kind of yeah. I'm just pretty relaxed.

How'd you break the bone in your foot? Basketball. And I'd never made the team. Wasn't physically fit. Insulted injury. Just gym class. Shooting the ball around. So.

And you just broke it. I relate to the dunk check. You were just standing there and broke it. I have more of this for you today. I appreciate it man. He was like. Come on. Appreciate it.

I've been eyeballing that toy up there. What you were just saying. Oh. That's from Pierce Paris. I don't know if I can go to Walmart. No that's not what he's talking about. He's talking about the dunk champ thing. The dunk champ.

Not the fucking enema. Oh my god. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. So.

So. You want to do it on here with that in his ass? Yeah. And then we did ring talks. On do it while it stuck out of his ass. Oh my god. That's horrible. Yeah.

That's fun. You guys do some crazy shit. Yeah. That's why we have you guys in here. Wow. I don't know what I'm talking about. Well. Blow it off.

Let's let's not do that. Let's get the ring. Can we not do that bit today? We don't. We will. So you don't do that with all your guests. Not all of you guys. They did.

They did have a sign the waiver when we walked in. I don't know what that's like. Tell me. Is it is it funny or like is it is it hilarious or is it terrible? Of course. Shared getting on the top floor in the high ranks. Here he goes. Crossing himself.

Oh my god. That's. Seven to a guy. Laugh first. Me too. Later. Me too. I've seen that have it lie like that.

Like that. Like in the independence. It doesn't matter how independent you are. The show must go on in wrestling. Did he kick out or was that a full three count? No. He kicked his leg. Ouch.

Get off of me. Please. Can we watch that one more time? Yes, we can. Please. Oh my god. That is just. I love the guy.

The high-ranked district. Here he goes. Crossing himself. I don't know. Now what? Did you just do a whole backpack or did you do a flip? And then that happened. I'm like living.

I'm missing what happened there because he's like on top. I don't know why. My eyes are shit too. I'm going to try it again because I think. I want to see more of the high-ranked district. Here he goes. Did you do a full one and a half? Crossing himself.

Over. Okay. Full one and a half. He pushed it. Okay. So if there would have been a pool there, he'd have been grainy. Like that. If there would have been a swimming pool, we would probably have held them up good numbers.

Oh yeah. Definitely. That would have been a perfect dive. Boy, that commentator cut it quick. He was all hype. That was. He did try to kick out. That's what I'm saying.

I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to tell you. I can tell you why he kicked out because in his mind, he was still trying to go. I've been knocked out like that, but you're trying to not be knocked out so hard. You're fighting consciousness so hard. Yeah. In your mind, you still are doing it some, but really you're not. But you just keep going and going, even though you.

When you were knocked out, was it from like doing like something like jumping off? Yeah. Falling on my face and my head. The first time I broke my neck. Yeah. I mean, it's happened a couple of times in wrestling, but like, I mean, that's got to be a bad concussion, huh? Jesus.

I'm just thinking about it. That's probably why. But yeah, I feel this guy because I've been in that situation. Not that much. It was not that bad. Terrible. Oh, this is all just wrestling. I just got a couple of them.

Oh, I feel like I've seen. No, look how I never wanted that. This is up. I know motherfuckers that do do that shit. No. He missed. He missed. Everything.

How's he alive? Oh, I'm like upset. Wow. What? It's a slow-mo for you. How did he miscalculate that so badly? The other guy tried selling it, though. Yeah, he did.

Like, he got hurt. He did. Yeah, he's trying to make them look good. Like you said, though. Even if they miss, you're still like, actually, you got hit. Just try to sell the fucking ankle. God damn it. Man, oh my God.

But I'll tell you, that guy is so meaty. Like, he looks so strong that it looks like his body mass protected him, I want to say. You know what? Did you know like, you know, all these movies and shit, we got like gladiators or all like bow flex bodies and shit, all these studs, you know, 20-year-old studs with bow, you know what I'm saying? Fucking underwear model motherfuckers, you know what I'm saying? It's fucking real life.

They were like, pudgy motherfuckers because they had to be, because they got cut. It wouldn't cut nothing real, you know what I'm saying? They were like, they weren't fat, but they were like, you know what I'm saying? Just beefy. Not even like, big dude, like the rest are Nikolai vocal. Yeah, very Nikolai vocal. They're just a big motherfucker, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, dude.

Yep. That was a blast from the past. You learn something new every day. Damn. Let me see it. Man, all these are all like these cringe boys. Yeah. I mean.

He's out. His boys are like, you have to happen, you dumbass. That's why his boys said, they go, how could you, you got to be prepared for something like that to happen. Yeah. I mean, of course you don't want it to, but. You could see that it was killing you too much momentum. Right.

Yeah, yeah. He lost control. You ever been on a skateboard down a hill and starts wobbling on you? Wobbling. The scariest fucking sensation on earth. I feel like it almost scares, like you expect it more on a skateboard because I've been on a bike where you get so much speed going down hill. I never fucked around like that.

I get scared. I get the break boy. I'm not. I can't do that. I don't trust the folks enough. Just showed you this last night. Just showed you this last night. It was a full video though.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. Come on. You got to see that one. I did the county fair. I live like right down the street in the county fair. I live out of the fucking sticks now and fucking, and there was this, they were doing like little

shows like this. This is obviously from a county fair. You know what I'm saying? So this ain't just your run of a middle city fair. Oh no, no, no. This is county fair material. And they got the pool set up and they got the high dive shit going on. These motherfuckers like for real.

I'm like, God damn, like this pool is deep, but you know what I'm saying? It's not for jumping that fucking high. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? And they do it. I'm like, holy shit. That was fantastic. I look.

There's 20 people in the stands watching these fucking guys. You know what I'm saying? I was just leading to something because like when I broke my arm or whatever, I saw, you know, I don't get into comments. I don't read them because I don't give a fuck about them. But I did like see one like, oh, look at this guy breaking his arm for 30,000 people. I'm like, okay, number one, I didn't mean to break my arm. You know what I'm saying?

That wasn't in the fucking plans. You know what I'm saying? Number two, at least I'm better than these fucking guys risking their life for 20 people. Yeah, exactly. So that gave me a nice piece of mind. People always say like. But yeah, come on, man. You live for this going to county fairs.

This is what you want to really see. I was going to deep down. Don't always hope. Why do you look at this? Because you're waiting. Why do you watch car racing to see the crashes? Yeah. This is like the grand finale of this sport.

Ever. Right. This guy should be a fucking champion of this. Whatever the fuck this is. This was amazing. It's one of my favorite. You just tumbled so hard. This one.

I like. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. She's fine. She can get up. No.

No, I'm not okay. Oh my God. Nah, she's like a little kid. Yeah. Oh my God. She's fine. She can get up. No.

No, I'm not okay. Oh my God. Nah, she's like a little kid that fell and you've seen her. Yeah. Oh, an ambulance. What the fuck is going on? Oh, she's. Yeah.

I'd be mad. I'd be mad too. I'd probably make her look like fucking nothing. Yeah, I'd be mad too. It took a while to get into reverse. That's what I noticed from that. Yeah, and also. Almost like they did it on purpose.

Yeah. This is obstructing our view, but it's like that's up on the grass past the sidewalk. Right. Why? Is it like a kid behind the wheel or something maybe? It was just fucking around with her. Well, you know, and it's soft on the grass and her grass. Oh, that's plush.

Yeah. That's some nice grass there. Come on. You see a stepping stone. No, that hasn't brought up before. That's a good observation. Well, she's like, like Shaggy said, I think she's milking it like a toddler. But still though, her legs were pinned against some bricks by a car.

By a car. So she does have that going for it. Let's not forget that. That's it. It's a legit complaint. It's a legit complaint. Right. I mean, yeah, I would definitely talk to the manager about that.

We saw that coming. I got so many back problems that that just hurts looking at. Did you think that guy would do anything magnificent? I don't give a fuck what he did or anything. Just look at him in general. Just look at him before he does it. And also anybody who's going to try that, look at the width of this pool. It's one of those never ending pools.

I mean, you don't do it right there. You can't do that, did you? And he's really confident in that two pages. He is. Because he's like a dude from Goodfellas. They didn't even stand in the water. Yeah. Because there's no question that's a wig he's wearing.

But what was he trying to do? A flip. He was trying to do a flip. He can't clear it. This is obviously somewhere in Eastern Europe. Exactly. Say the weird little pool and shit. That's my tribe, bro.

Yeah, okay. I take credit. That's why you're wanting to do this. Oh, yeah. I got you. And then this is further east. This is in Russia right here. That was a bitch, too.

Is that a dude and a bitch? Yeah, no, it's a bitch. It's two. Come on, fucking move it. She at least is moving. Wait, I didn't see two people. I didn't see two people. There's two people.

Do you know what would really suck if you just saw some snuff films? No, I know. No. Oh, my God. I thought he was a tablecloth or something. He was good. I hope we get a good fucking nedin' shot right there.

Right there. Right up the shirt. Right up the wazoo. Wait, but what happened? What preceded it? We don't know. We don't know. It just starts as they're falling, right?

Did someone walk? Were they fucking? And the husband came back home. Oh, they got caught. Okay. It looked like they were having a nice little afternoon snack on the balcony. It's wherever your imagination takes you.

That's because I thought he was a tablecloth. I think I'm trying to get out the window. She gave him a belly to back suplex off that beer. You see that? She grabs that like a black lusner shit. That's a finisher. God damn. Wow.

I guess that sometimes wrestling moves go wrong. Man, here's the people get hurt. Here's the best one. I think this is my favorite right here race. My favorite recent one. Just the old jump off the. Dude, those ones fucking are weird to watch. This motherfucker jumps off a roof in rain boots.

He looked like a scarecrow. Like his body. I've never seen a body get that stiff and then it bent. Why are you confident that that's going to work out? Yeah. What was the end result? He thought was going to happen. He just got land chill.

Like he's in rain boots. He was good. He's probably got some drugs, man. Did you just hear the. Those legs are back. They're laughing at him. Oh, yeah. That one person saw of you was okay.

Yeah, those aren't your friends, homie. If you're going to do it, do it in your wooden Dutch clogs. Yeah, right. Do it properly, dumbass. Idiot. He probably could have landed it. Fuck. Yeah, he had the wrong foot material.

That was a problem. What a bomb. Jesus Christ. Footwear. That was fucking gnarly though. His knees locked up. His knees went into his stomach. Just the way he shot.

I sent it. Once he hit anyone. I sent this clip to my surgeon who fixed my arm and my tendon. Yeah. And he just wrote, oh, Lord. And I go, so what's he going to need? He goes, all of it. Wow.

So you like, you like, you like hips communicate like out of normal bases. Yeah. Yeah. He opens their emails. Yeah. He opens their emails. That's like fucking foreign things. Like I'd go there once.

Bro, we text. Are you kind of your friend now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He's super cool.

A different orthopedic guy that fixed my knee a bunch of times and shit. And I think, I don't know my back too. I'm not sure. But he's kind of cool, but I never fucking talked to him outside a couple of times in his office. I text my surgeon too. They're, I mean, when you pay the money to fix you, they're kind of. I guess, you know what I want you to do? I have a new, I have a new desire.

I just want you to forward me your MRI. Yeah. And I'll take care of looking at it. I used to have a super looking X-ray. It was like my neck and it has like these, like plates and screws in it. It was fucking great. I don't know what happened to it, but it was pretty cool. Oh my God.

Sell posters and sign them. Yeah. Right. Wait, didn't you say that? But they took that. We're out of my neck the last time they fucked with my neck and they put new shit in there. Oh, okay. Oh, when you went back.

Yeah. When I asked you how you guys met, did you say that's something about McDonald's? For me. All right. So I started off way earlier. Oh, I already know where you're going. Yeah. Yeah.

I started off way early. So there was one day, man, many years ago, I was just at some drive through in Detroit and I ordered a bunch of food. I know when you order so much, you got to pull forward. Yeah. You got to wait up front. Yeah. Yeah.

It was one of those. Yeah. Pull off to the side. Right. Right. I see this fucking just this huge dude sitting outside just jacked, right? And he's wearing like an ICP shirt. Mind you, I was a fan at the time.

Everything in my body said, don't talk to this man. Like don't talk to this man. This is great. You know? So I fucking, I'm in like. Straight killer. Right. So I roll down the window on my shitty Dodge Stratus and I'm like, hey man, nice shirt.

Done say a word, gets up and walks towards my car. I'm holding the fucking window roll up button and it's just slowly going, you know, and he gets to the car and it's finally, I'm like, hey, you know, what's like your shirt, man, you know, I don't want any problems. Yeah. I'm going to get my nuggets and get the fuck out of here. But uh. But I couldn't resist saying that to you.

Right. He was like, you know who I am? I go, I'm not looking at him. I'm like, absolutely I do not. You know, I apologize. He's like. He's like, I'm their head of security. Uh-uh.

He was like, yeah. He's like, I'm their boy. Boy's spider. Yeah. It was my man. Yeah. And we, when I tell you like. I used to go work out with him and shit.

Yeah. Really? But he would lift the fucking railroad. Dude. The metal railroad fucking rails. I'm not. That's what he worked out with. Yeah.

This guy. I'd never like really been, he just throws that. Yeah. Lift this. I'm like, yeah, I'm cool, man. So, so at the time I was trying to, to get my foot in the door with comedy. I was doing some stuff back home and it was tough doing open mics. Like no one, no one, uh, uh, would really open their door like open mic tonight.

I was this 18 year old kid. Yeah. You know, I'm like, fuck, I can't get booked anywhere. You know? So I was like, you know what? I'm going to start booking my own shows. So I had met spider. We became good friends.

He's like, look, I know people in the music business. I know venues. We reached out to some and I was like, yo, fuck waiting for an open mic. I'm going to just set my own shit and then I'm going to invite comics to come to my shit. And so that's what I did. So I started doing this thing in Detroit with him called laughs and raps and it was kind of like a talent show.

I was like, I don't give a fuck. If you want to do poetry, get up on stage. It was just kind of like a big fuck. I went there and did poetry one night. He sure did. That's been great though. I wasn't too aware of that at the time or otherwise I want to sign up anonymously. What you did, it should be a lesson to all those all young comics who go like, yeah,

I can't get booked anywhere. It's like, well, then make a show. Exactly. That's why I can relate because when we started, we don't take no for an answer. You just keep pushing. No, but it, yeah. So that was the motivation, the driving force behind it. And then lo and behold, obviously that opened my doors into getting into the gathering and

doing shows. Now me, I've always had a soft spot for like improv. That's I love the most. It just don't fucking sell. You know what I'm saying? Right. One of my biggest like improv comedians, if you will, growing up, especially back home is Keegan-Michael Key.

Yeah. Huge fan. Sure. He's brilliant. Oh my God. That dude is just the fucking like you watch him and I'm like, dog. Like he tells me this. I start like, cause I just think I like these corny B improv groups.

Right. I know. Motorcycle, Hamiltonian, goofy clothes. It's the worst. Picture. So I didn't, I'll be honest. I didn't really want to do stand up, but I felt the only way that I could get seen and get known and get some kind of leg up in the game was if I did it.

Yeah. And then when I get to that point, kind of brand myself how I wanted to do it. And I've never seen a stand up. I keep trying to get him to do it, but he's like, I haven't done it in years. Oh, you haven't. I toured. Like there was an artist on his label that I toured with that took me on a few tours around the country.

Love doing it. Just emcee. It was weird. Like emcee in a juggalo show, like never been done before. And I tell him like it's crazy to think I had no one to look up to. No one's done it before me. You know what I'm saying? Like this is there's some nights people are just drunk him.

They don't give a fuck what you're saying. There's some nights I would kill. You know? Sure. That's the way it goes. Yeah. Man, it's like I love doing improv and I love doing like sketches and skits and these vlogs that we're doing.

Yeah. You're performing. Right. Exactly. So I respect the hell out of stand up. I love it. But it was I kind of used it in a way to get where I'm at now. You know what I'm saying?

That's how he hooked me in because this bastard could I got, you know, stand up comedy to me and fucking like George Carlin hands down favorite guy of all time. Sure. No question. You know what I'm saying? I'll fight somebody for him. He's great, man. He's the whole tippy.

Did you fart and all that shit? You know what I'm saying? He had me rolling. And so I knew he was like a stand up comic. I knew he like hosted shit for us, but I thought he was a stand up comic. I got like endless respect for stand up comics because just the thought is, you know, what I do and what you guys do is like night and day, you know what I'm saying? I know we're all performers, you know what I'm saying?

But if I fuck up over music and shit, whatever, I'm one component of like so many different things going on on the stage. You know what I'm saying? It's just you. You're done. No music. Yeah. Microphone.

You know what I'm saying? You fuck off. You're going to get it. You know what I'm saying? You're going to get it. Yeah. But I got so because there's no way I could do that. You know, I've tried hosting.

See that's the opposite. I'm just not. I'm just not that big. I just, you know, you sucky ducky quack quack. Sure. But yeah. But but so I thought he saw mad respect for him. Find out he doesn't do stand up at all.

So you're like, I did. I did. No, but it's funny. It's funny. He says that because I say the same thing. I've never seen a stand up. I don't know if I should because if I hate it, I'm going to be like, come on, dog. You suck.

I could. At this point, at this point, you probably just not. Well, he did this. I'm not going to say what it's called. I don't want to give it. But he did this movie back in the day with like, yo, it's the worst thing. I'm dog. It's it's beyond words.

How bad it is. But I always bring it up on our shit. Oh, you do? Yeah. I don't want to get no job because the other person, I'm not going to find it. I know. I know. I know.

I know. But this is how I can tell you guys are actually friends. Yeah. When you're when you're actually friends with somebody, you're like, yeah, man, you're shit. You want to know why? You want to know why? Oh, we're still friends because I've only known him for maybe like two and a half, two

years, two and a half. Okay. I'm not sick of his ass yet. Right. Give me a couple more. I'll be like, yo, get this kid the fuck out of here. True. True.

Yeah. Do you want to set up what what you're known for? Like, do you want me to actually? Oh, so you mentioned that you weren't familiar with tech talk. Yeah. I don't need to take you on a magical journey. Oh, we're going down a rabbit hole. We're going down.

Here we go. Now let's let's set up what she actually does. Okay. All right. Listen. Oh, this is what you do for. This is what I do for your main shit. Well, this is my a vocation.

My second job. Got you. Got you. This is my primary and then my hobby is tech talk and I curate the finest outliers. Like, you know, something like there's these dance videos, there's hot girls doing shit. That's not the tech talk. Island.

Right. You're looking for the fucking these motherfuckers. Yeah. The motherfuckers with the. I could be on your team. I'm telling you. The guy that tattooed his face. Yes.

You want to hear some. You found him on tech talk. Who? She found him on tech talk. The tattoo guy. The tattoo guy. Oh, that guy. Yeah.

I wasn't too familiar. I would put me up on a lot of shit. I was so not fucking. Yes. Anything social media. These weirdos on my jam. Like I love weirdos. You want to hear some crazy.

Yes. Nice little fucking fact about me when I was a kid. Sure. I had like, of course, composers in my room when I was a kid. You know what I'm saying? I had a big guy named Kane. I had Christina Applegate. Yes.

And instead of their heads, I would find these freak magazines. They would call him like the naughty man. Wow. He just bumps all over his face. And I cut the heads out. And I'd put them on all the heads on my posters in my room. Yeah. So I just, I just, me and my homie, we used to just laugh our asses off of that.

It's a weird shit. It's a weird shit. Yeah. It's a weird shit. So yeah. So I'm into it. I love weird shit. I think you're going to like this segment.

All right. You like TGL? Here we go. I like a bunch of you looking for me. TGL. Really? I hope there isn't hell just so we could be burning there. Really?

Oh, wow. The picture going to a show on this madman, this racist fucking madman running around with glass trying to punch you in fucking stab you there. And then he shits it in the air. And then put shit in your cuts. Yo, I've seen a couple documentaries about my old manager. He used to be like a fan of his. And that's how I found out about it.

I was young too. I shouldn't have been exposed to that. It's such a young age. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that guy. He sucks. I hate TGL.

Me too. But I understand why some people can like that. To me, that's just when you bring poop into the situation, that's why I take a step out. You know what I'm saying? I can handle like stabbing and stuff, but poop, no. Hate it is amazing. Hate it. The documentary.

The top Phillips one. Oh, that was G.G. Allen. Yes. Is that like, did they call that shit out of it? That's the best one. The poop out of it? No, no. You can't have G.G. Allen without poop.

Yeah. And they go hand in hand. He shoves a banana off his ass. I've seen that one. I've seen it. I've seen it. Yeah. I think right there where I was like, I don't like this guy.

I'm sorry. I can't be cool with somebody that puts a peeled banana off their ass. I think that's a very reasonable take from that. I know. It's nothing besides the fact. I just don't hang out with people like that. But see, that's the set that lights me up inside. He likes the horrible videos.

That shit lights me up. Yeah, but you wouldn't want to hang out with him on a personal basis. No. Because he puts bananas in his ass. Of course. Who wants to hang out with somebody like that? But I want to watch it and I want to laugh. I want to ask you something.

Sure, go ahead. Is this in the same vein? One of the very first times I've ever seen your mom's house podcast. And I know your fans are going to ruin me in the comment section. But it's some dude that jacks off to the four stroke gang. Oh yeah. What is that? Is that in the same vein?

Of course. Okay, all right. It's the same vein. Of course, same. How do you find some of these people? Oh. It blows my mind. That's a gig, though.

Some of it's mine and a lot of it is the mommy submit stuff. Yes. So it's mommy submitted. But the TikTok curations are my own. Wait, before we do that, we forgot to. This is one of the hardest we laughed was when we first started learning about your guys podcast was doing the YMH references. That shit was so funny for him.

Juggalo says, Hey, Tom Segura, invite me on the podcast so I can try it out with you and Dr. Drew. Four strokes with my brother is my favorite. Great. More riddles. There was that way. Where's my favorite? Well, this is the best shot to my main mommy Jean.

Shout out to my main mommy Jean. Well, her congrats on a new job at Falcon Car Wash and keep them high and tight. What the fuck does that string of words mean? I still don't know. I know. It's all like inside fucking stupid jokes. It's all stupid jokes. Like it's almost like upsetting to you.

Like what the fuck is that? Because like people, they, man, because I read the shit like Romberg. Straight the fuck up. I don't, I just read what I see. Of course. But mindlessly I do. There's people that fuck with me and do like those stupid Bart Simpson shits. Like I eat my own dick or whatever the fuck.

I can give you Zach Mayhofer. And I just read them normal and I don't get it. So after the joke's done, I'm just like, fuck again, huh? I'm just the fucking butt of the joke again. Tom Segura podcast. Your mom's house. What am I doing here? Shout out to your main mommy Jean.

And congratulations on your new job at the Falcon Car Wash. I'm high and tight. Hey. That's where my professionalism came from. That was very professional. I thought I was kind of like reading some kind of like some promo for somebody or something right there. I kind of caught on.

So I just want to touch on it real quick. Our podcast, it was never planned. We never planned to have a podcast. Yeah. No, I got into this 100% to do vlogs. Like I used to do that shaggy show shit. I didn't even know what a podcast was. I didn't know what a fucking twitch is.

None of that shit. You know what I'm saying? Sort of it. We weren't going to have a video come out on time. And we were like, fuck, we got to have something come out. We're like, let's just do a live stream, maybe kick it with everybody. You know, the subscribe and all that shit. I don't understand.

I was like, what are you talking about? So we just sit there and we just talk. We didn't even know what a super chat was. We were like, what the fuck is a super chat? Like somebody's chatting, but this one's a super one, you know? So we started reading them. We're like, oh, fuck, that's like, you know, people are fucking paying money and they want to ask.

So I'm live on air. I'm like, wait a second, man. It was money just to say some stupid line. I was like, well, fuck, keep sending them. Yeah, I read your dumb ass shit. It became it was just going to be a one time thing till our video came out next week. And then we got hit up so much like, please keep doing this. Keep doing this podcast.

Keep going. So we didn't have a name for it for like the first 20 episodes. We were just going live. Then obviously now it's it's the pal cast, but a shameless plug, by the way. Yeah, I was like, what should I wear today? I'm going to plug this shit out. Fuck yeah. I left my shit in the car.

Oh, I can't. He didn't even bring it. He was like, well, I don't know. You guys. I just realized that you're never wearing like ICP clothes. I'm like, well, I don't feel like I have to plug that no more. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck, I don't know if you're supposed to do this. So maybe that's the dangerous part of our. He is. However, he is trying to push over the pistons on you guys. It's draft day today. Is it draft day? It is draft day. I just opened up a whole camp.

What's the who's who's the number one? You're number one number one this year. And who are you? We're going to get Cade Cunningham. We as in the team. The pistons. Well, I am the team too. I'm wearing it.

This is what I love about sports. This is what I love about sports. We won. We won. They lost. They lost. I feel like I lost 100 percent. What do you do?

Because you just watched the fucking game for two hours and wasted your life. You could have been doing so much other dope shit. There you go. I'm watching that stupid. But that's a whole gimmick of our podcast is like we do it live, which can be very dangerous. Yeah, of course. Very dangerous.

My favorite. It changes the energy. Yep. Big time. All right. So here we're going to go into your talk. There you go. Just keep in mind.

Christina pulled these. All right. All right. Look, I've had an accident. I was on the lot of drugs the last month. So these are very eclectic. Hello, everyone. I could change my voice either to a more female version or a more male version, but quote

unquote, this is my real voice is what I always sound like when out of there I'm talking to my boyfriend or my family. It's my regular voice. But if I wanted to be more flirty, I would use this one. How's it going? Is that the same voice? Yeah. That's my more feminine voice right here.

Is she trying to get like a voice actor job? Because I don't want to deal with them. She's trying to show you her instruments. I don't like this. You know, your voice is... And I will compare and... You ever watch these videos, but you just look at the background, the garbage in their house all the time.

I used to do that with America's funniest videos back in the day. They'd be the funniest shit, but I'd be looking at the pile of garbage in the corner. Of course. He's like, nobody's a real... You don't fucking sweep your house or something. Of course. And that's something I always try to do if I record myself. If I'm doing anything in my house, my wife is like, no!

You have to know. Yeah, you have to know. You have to know. But this is like, she's acting like it's her thing. Oh, yeah. She's like, I can make my voice... That's what is going to blow us away with her. Like how she can throw her over.

I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for it to sound like a guy. Maybe like if I went... You know, I do this thing with my wife. Maybe in some circles she is. Sometimes I go like this. And then sometimes I don't. Yeah.

But it's not that breakthrough of a thing. You know what she looks like? That picture with the hat. Eric Cartman from the South Park. Don't you? Yeah. Look at that. She's got the same hat.

Oh, there's no ball on it. That thing in the back looks like a ball on top. That's a Cartman. It's like no other. Because that's how I can do things. Is that a voice she's doing now? Yeah. She thinks it's like a big deal.

That's like the thirst and howl of the third. Yeah. It's not. Her voice game is not impressive. But in her head it is. Which is why it's interesting. You loved it. You loved it.

Which makes a good talk. You loved it. It's a good talk, right? It's absurd. Check. Uh-oh. Oh, good morning, Christine P. Yes, you are my beautiful and special queen.

I love you. Some woman out there is like, that's my teddy bear. You are the ultimate queen. You are my big titted animal queen. The mouth on this fucking guy. Come on. Wake up. There you go.

Oh, God. Open them eyes up. Oh. Very beautiful. Okay. Now at this point it's just disturbing as shit. Yeah. I was thinking maybe he's a sweet, older guy.

You know. You thought sweet for one moment. You thought sweet? One moment. One moment. You thought sweet? One moment. I'm putting myself in like some old lady's shoes who's been married to him for like

50 years. You know what I'm saying? That's Barry. You know my son. You want to know what I'm crazy? But no. As soon as he. I got to tell you something.

I got to tell you something. She went on a date with him. What? What? He courted. He took me out on a date. We sat in the park. You courted him?

He courted me. Oh, he courted. Okay. There's a difference. We had drinks and pizza together in the park. And he was a very sweet gentleman. Did he have a shirt on? Yes.

Was it a chaperone date? Yes, it was a chaperone date. Oh, God. You were watching from a distance. I didn't go. I was waiting for the spicy details. I trusted her. I trusted her.

Okay. I was waiting for someone with a spicy detail. Wait. You know what? He's like, come on. Open your eyes. You really got me? Wake up.

Hold on. I was like, if I were really there, I'd be pretending to stay asleep. Yeah. Half of that. Was he half as creepy in real life? Was he like. I'll tell you something. We need the real.

Come on. I'll tell you something. In real life. The sweetest. I told you. The sweetest. I told you. I told you.

He's a sweet old man. I knew it. He's a sweet old man. Because that's not who he is. In real life, he's gentle. What made it creepy? He goes, there you go. There you go.

After you open your eyes. It's like to a point where he just sounds too nice. You know what I'm saying? Like it becomes creepy at that point. Like, oh yeah. Like he's starting to sweat or something. You know. Well, he's also, he's doing improv, right?

Because there's no one there. Yeah. He's improvising. There you go. That's why he's like. All right. All right. We got to have Keegan do one of those.

Yeah, man. I could lay down and be the one he's talking to. All right. You want a back rub? No. You got to roll over. All right. Wait, you're already on your back.

What's going on? How's that? That doesn't look like your back. No, that's his dick. Okay. He's stroking his meat. Yep. Very beautiful, my queen.

All right. All right. I'm going to go down. Down. I'm going to start breakfast. You come on down. After breakfast, you can take your nice hot shower. What is this?

And we'll go do something today. Okay. We'll go shopping. I'm like, okay. Just go shopping. I got it. I got it. I got it.

One of my homies. This is straight up one of my homies. One of my homies. This is just my boy Manny. Oh, come on, bro. He's just big, but he's so soft, spoken and nice. But if you, if a Manny ever woke me up like this, I'd have to murder him. Yeah.

Straight up. Yo. Dude. He's so soft, spoken and nice, but if you, if a Manny ever woke me up like this, I'd have to murder him. Yeah. Straight up. Yo.

Dude. I'm gonna kiss him. Oh my God. He just won't shut the fuck up. You went to the park? Okay. So I met him and I forget in Tennessee, we met in Tennessee in a park. He's a truck driver.

Wait, he courted you, but you came to him clearly. Well, like we met in the park. Like he asked me out for our dates. That was the thing. That's dangerous. Well, I had a, I had a chaperone. It was out in broad daylight. Gotcha.

And he brought me a nice pizza and we had like a, you know, a nice picnic. What kind of pizza? Was it homemade? Just cheese? It was hot and ready. It was hot and ready. I knew it. You're gonna have to really get a real zah.

Come on. No. Hot and ready. This fucking guy. But he, he's sweet. I don't know. I don't know what his financial situation is. He works.

He works a lot. He works a lot. So he could have sprung for like, I don't know. Like fucking, I don't know what the fuck they love you. Well, look it. I mean, look at you. I mean, what, what if he's on the come up? You don't know.

Remember? He's definitely on the come down. Yeah. That guy's not on the come up. Sorry. I can't give that one to you. It's your special day. I'm gonna take off.

And I got to do a little bit of work, but I'll be back. And we will go do whatever you want to do. And I love you, my queen. That's not going to happen. Did you know the chain on your foot? See you in the bed. Blocked to the bed. No, you didn't notice that.

Did you? See a lot of us. And you're just, you didn't say, but you're just waking up from a, a lot of us have had the fucking coma. Yes. Put it on your face and knock you out from hell. That had the ether or whatever had the same vibe. Yeah.

Like someone's being tied up. That's what I'm saying. Like, okay. He's not a chloroform. Chloroform. There you go. He's telling you what's up. He's not really like suggesting this.

He said, yo, this is what the fuck's going to happen. You bitch. That's what he's thinking. He's getting so authentic. This is like the first three times he talks to you, this is him. Then he starts slipping in. Like he gets mean a little bit. Then he starts whooping your ass.

You know what I'm saying? And then you got to try to get free. Did you just, did you just like find this one in the feed? This has been, this has been, yeah, I sent this in a while back. Oh, okay. Three weeks ago. You just found it like you're just going through the feed? Yeah.

Like I just, I scroll through people I follow and then this one was to me, but I'm so used to it now. But it was sent to you. This wasn't just out there in the universe. No, no, no, this is out there in the universe. So he just put this out there. So anybody named, named Kristi? No, no, it's me.

It's you, 100%. He just makes these for me every now and then he'll dedicate one to me. Sweet. It is. How does that make you feel? In the creepiest way possible. Just kind of how you feel when someone chews your face? It doesn't look like you'll prove too much.

Aren't you? It doesn't look like you'll prove too much. It's like the juggalo tattoo. I like enough. I like their relationship. So you're not a cuckold? No, no, no. I just learned what that was.

I can't get enough of that word. You too. We can't get enough of like polyamory. Cuckold. It's so called somebody a cuck? Cuck. Oh, what about? Fuck, it's so funny to me.

Yo, yo, have you heard of hotwifing? No. Hotwifing? Is that like hot Carl? Isn't that like a cuckolding thing? Different. Different, I think. Right?

So you take the hotwif, cuckolding is different because the man is shamed by the woman having sex because the cuckolding is that the man can't, right? You can't please the woman's like, I have to fuck these other guys. So he's not as much as a sucker as everybody thinks. He's just, poor me. I got this is the only way I can cuck. The cuck is like a beta. Well, he's the biggest buster on earth.

He's a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. The biggest buster on earth. But the hotwifing is that the guy is thrilled. Right? Oh, I've heard that before. Because I remember, we were talking, who was talking about this?

Kind of like your trophy wife is showing her off. Okay, guys. I remember, I heard that because I was like, well, you would definitely be a cuck and I'd be a hotwif. Yeah. Wait, you'd be the hotwif being the dude, right? You're called the hotwif? I don't even fucking know.

No. So the woman is a hotwif, but the dude enjoys it. Who's the cucky? Right? The cucky? I'm not sure. The cuckster and the cuck. Well, the cuckster.

But the woman wears like pineapples or pineapple necklaces so that people know she's into black eyes. Wait, now this is like, wow, that's intricate. Yeah. People are just really way into fucking, I think. That's what we're always amazed at. What if you didn't know? There's so much money.

I mean, of course, fucking's great, but I don't see the fucking dead deep into it. Come on, man. Like, cuck-holding and shit. I know. Who's got that kind of time? Who likes to watch that and jack off the cuck-holding shit? Oh, my God. We think about that all the time.

Like, how horrible. The even lower form of cuck-holds. I mean, jack's off the cuck-holding point. Exactly. Oh, you're worse than a cuck. But like, would you die if your wife hooked up with another dude in front of you? If I was a cuck, I wouldn't. Yeah, but right.

Like, I'm saying it or not. It wouldn't happen. It couldn't. Wouldn't you just go crazy? The guy wouldn't get into the house, first of all, knowing his intentions were to fuck my wife. And if my wife had intentions of fucking somebody, I'd be like, just go ahead and cuck up, because I'll be out.

I'll be moving out to LA or whatever. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Peace. Peace. Cucky. Yeah. He ain't going to be no cuck.

Peace. He ain't going to be no cuck. I'll be the hot wife, though. The cucky, whatever the fuck is called. Yeah. I think he's mixed up the hot wife thing. You need a cuck. Do you know what the dancing bears are?

Oh. Do you know what the dancing bears? What? I used to be one. It's a it's a male stripping troupe that like for birthday party for chicks, bachelor parties. They come in and they do the dance, but their dicks are on hard and chicks suck their dick. They fuck them all. And they have big bear heads on.

Big bear start out with that. They're called a dancing bear. It's real shit. Dancing bears. You used to do this? Yeah. Okay. What?

I sure did. When? Oh, you can't probably show that on here. Before you were a rapper? Yeah. When I was like like a 13 dancing bears like stripper. Yeah. Yeah.

See? We're taking dick from a dancing bear. Yep. They just saw these. It used to be an underground thing, but now it's like servicing. My boy put me up on this. He took his bear head off and the one. So this is at a bachelorette party, but she's specifically, what do you guys say that?

Suspiciously. Suspiciously. Looks like a porn model though. Yeah. This isn't the real. Yeah. I'm going to go ahead and say this. But this is.

This is about this way before any of this like fake type shit. No. That's dancing bear.com. This is the real one. Okay. Yeah. So this guy is going to. So maybe they just took the best footage of the best looking broads.

So wait, he's going to. Did you wear this costume? For what? The bear costume. I was like the head flagship guy, man. So sorry. It was more like more like my dick hair looked like a bear. So wait, this dude's going to take his.

I wasn't really a dancing bear. He's going to take his costume off. I don't want to say how he took it that long. I'm such an idiot. I don't know. You're the guy wearing. Fair enough. Makeup.

Same clown. He sold it. He sold it. Yeah. They just get down these bitches, dog. It's pretty cool. Like this shot. You can go PG 13 with it or they can pull his dick out and you just go ahead and fuck

you with it. You know what I'm saying? He keeps his hair bare. I'm guessing. I don't know. A fully. Well, yeah. But I'm guessing they must like not fuck till they bust.

And well, we've fast forwarded quite a bit. That's clearly a porno guy. Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're the bear heads on. That lady watching is pretty cool.

Huh? She looks like your mom. She's like, I want to see. But I don't. She don't look like my mom. It starts off like a weird Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. Who's this guy?

They're the animatronic guys come off the stage. These people are pretty cool. Go ahead and bookmark this for us later. But they do have it, not the porno style one. That's actually the real thing that you can do. You guys should have them on your show. Yeah. Do a little fucking dance for you.

A real bear. A real bear. Do a little twirl, you know? A little twirl. Yeah. Like a meeting, like a great meeting of the minds. Your guys' collection of crazy shit and then our collection, we can have like a massive. That really brings me to one thing real quick.

I've been dying to ask you guys because I'm all about drama and beef and I love singing my teeth into that. Yeah. What's going on with Garth Brooks here? Oh. That's a good question. Is he doing you wrong? Is he, he's got you blocked or something from what I've seen?

He restricted my account from being able to post. Now hold on, do you have beef with Garth Brooks or Chris Gaines? Good question. Wow. So maybe you try getting him at him at the Chris Gaines angle. That's true. See? Yeah.

He's, it's a good, it's a good, it's a good thought. He's basically. That's Miley Cyrus' dad, right? Yeah. Wait, Garth Brooks. No, Billy Ray Cyrus. No, no, that's Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeah, I believe he's from Seville.

One of them Scoop Boogies or something. They're all the same. Scoop Boogie. Yeah. I just want to give a huge shout out to the mommies. They are relentless. Relentless. Maybe like I read an article and it was a little couple comments here.

No. Thousands. It's his page is taken over. Yeah. I mean, it's an interesting page. Oh, they're getting at Garth Brooks like that. Oh, we've destroyed yourself for me. So you're going to have like Farrakhan meet up with you guys or something to mediate?

Well, how's that going to work? I was saying. I would love if the only person that could squash the beef is Farrakhan, that'd be amazing. Do you want this next one to play? I'd love to. Are you kidding me? Stop scrolling for a minute. All right.

I'm like, oh my gosh. Take three. Yo, what the fuck is wrong? Did she got a dick lump? Are you ready? Is that hair? Is that a dick lump? Hair.

She got that much hair on her head. Oh, dude, there's no way. I'd have to see that to believe it. That's her hair. I understand. But she's got a sock or something. There's no way. Is that puppy?

It's just a meaty lady. Look at her quat. Look at her legs. She got the fat Mons Pubis. She's just got Mons Pubis. Right. A lot of meat. Relaxation.

What is it? I'm not supposed to look at the legs, but I can't help it. That's the only place my eyes will go. I know. How do you look anywhere else? Looks like she has monkey legs. No, I'm just kidding. No, I thought mine were bad.

She's got more hair than you can. I always get teased from my hairy legs because it doesn't stop. It's definitely yours. Well, listen, as a woman, I am all against this trend of not. It looks like shit. Not only does it look like shit, but it just seems like it's stank. Dirty. Yeah.

Dirty and gross. It's like fucking ew. Like she may be super clean. But she looks like her pussy stinks. It smells like some off-brand funk, saying like some fucking sour sandalwood or something. Fug spray or something. And again, she could be very hygienic. I don't give a fuck.

Not with that, Ned. But the aesthetic of it of hairy shit. I just like to say that it's not for me. Yeah, definitely. She probably got her armpits too, I'm guessing. Why would she not? Let's see your standard again. She has her armpits.

At the top, maybe we can see. Stop scrolling for a minute. Was her bush? No, I didn't see. She shaved. Yeah, I didn't see any. Now, that's just plain weird. Why would she shave her armpits and not a leg?

She's going for some breathing. So she could, she could, she could wear, what the fuck is this? This is some of my rare, I see you also accept drug addicts in your mind. Of course. Okay. Look, you guys want to be martial artists or not? Pay attention. And you have to be in a heavy squat position.

I bet you this guy will kick your ass. I don't know. 50 of these. What is that? Truckeys. That's all he does. Have you tried this workout yet? It's not fun.

No. I bet you you can't do it. 50 of those, what? He didn't do 50 either. He did like 10 of them. He stopped. Do 50 of these and he didn't do 50. He didn't do close to 50.

No. What'd he do? Like 13? I do like his sweating. You have a good bicep. You have a good tricep. But you've got to work your violin strength. But in his defense, what is he, like 94?

Oh, yeah. He's definitely up there. Oh, the shit, dawg. He's like, maybe he was like fucking, he was down with Bruce Lee. Dude, it's every day. That's childhood fling. Here's his forearm exercise. Watch it though.

Here we go. Little biggest hands. Open and close. Jazz hands. Open and close. Open and close. Do as fast as you can. Do as fast as you can.

For how many? Now, after you do that, it's going to be pretty hard. Then you shake out the cart. That doesn't feel like shit. That's karate kids shit. That's karate kids shit. That's funny. That's funny.

That's funny. Did you picture Bruce? Okay, clearly it's here with Bruce Lee. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to go ahead and just call that one right now. It's not too obvious, but I think it might be. You can usually tell if they do drugs. He's so horrible at being Bruce Lee. He's going like this?

Fuck no. You know what I'm saying? Like, what the fuck is that? No. Blah, blah, blah. That's how you catch bullets out the air? Yeah. Wow, they just don't stop.

You know, I stole these coins from a pirate and he stole them from someone else. Look at the titties. How do you know? They're so judging. They're so ugly naked. Oh, yeah. Did you like one of the coins? Yeah.

She could be like a scary movie seahead. Well, and also when you're... Is it supposed to be trick-or-treating? All right. No, she's just pretending to be a fairy. This is like cosplay. And here's the thing. When your tits are state droopers, as we call them...

State droopers? State droopers? I got you. No. You don't want to accent it with a corset that goes... Yeah. You know what I get respect for? I got respect for those broads who, like, titties are mad low and they pull

their sweatpants over them. Yeah. I got respect for that because you came to tell them at certain angles. Yeah. Talk them in. No, she's just crazy. She's doing fairy cosplay or something. That's probably that crazy dude's wife.

That's one of those ocelots. What the fuck is that? Why would you have one of those in your house? What's that biting? So... Is this like in Dubai or something? Is that a turkey? This has got to be Dubai.

This is somebody's pet. Oh, shit. And it's the fifth birthday and that's the... They got pillows made up like them. Yeah. Look at the floor. Okay, now... It's wild.

With a dog. Okay, you can have a vicious-ass dog. Yeah. I feel safe as fuck around with his mind. You know he's not going to bite you. Yeah. It's a wild thing to be like that with a fucking cat. No way.

It's a wild fucking animal. Yo, my cat starts making that noise. I'm getting... He's fucking out. Oh, I'd kick it right in his face. A cat that bigger than a dog? If a cat can kick my dog's ass... And that cat's not allowed to kill something at home.

It's weird. Yeah. I just got these two outside cats recently. Some of my wife's like relations. Somebody died of COVID or whatever. And they had like some outside cats. I was like, as long as they stay outside. Yo, these are bad motherfuckers.

Yeah. I'm not a cat guy. Yeah. These motherfuckers. I got an inside cat. The biggest pussy on earth. Yo, this cat is like... There's not even a level...

There's not even a word to cover that level of being a pussy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. He's just marinating so... And he's so weak when he touches him. He's all soft and feeble. Then I go outside and fucking Migg comes around. Miggie comes around with a fucking bloody bird hanging out of his face.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I pet him and he just fucking clutches his back up. And his tail wraps around your arm. I'm just like, if I let this cat in my house, he's going to fucking murder my other cat. He's going to kill your kids. Listen, that's just a sound.

But if Miggie made that sound, he'd be out. That's your pet. That's sleep apnea. Play it from the top. They could use that in a scary movie for like a zombie. This is the birthday, the fifth birthday. And they're giving it away. Oh, when I get him a raw chicken, why not?

He's making that noise because he's going to fuck you up if you touch it. That's why... If this is my dog, maybe I could still grab his food. You ain't grabbing them all fucking feet. No, try it. He's waiting. He wants you to. He wants you to touch it.

He's like, try it, motherfucker. I'm sitting here for extra long just so you'll come and touch it. Give him a reason. That cat thinks it's killing something. No doubt. He just won that. Right. That's instinct.

He's like, so many fucks with this. I'll fight to the death over this piece of chicken. I'll bite your hand right off. Mom. Is that Robin Williams? Mom. What? What are you doing?

I'm talking to your dad. Hi, dad. Hi. Happy Father's Day. Thank you. What are y'all talking about? Now, Karen, it is none of your business. Well, you're my parents.

So, get on out of here and go to the pool or something. Get out of there and... Was she like, giving me a handy jam to the table or something? I don't know. People. I can't sit in here with y'all. I think she's just being a little more... Because he's stuck with no words and she's mad for no reason.

Just get out of here. Just be like, I'm touching his dick. It's my younger daughter. Your parents are so nosy. And it's on Father's Day? It's on Father's Day. You know what I like about this video is for you. She's trying to get it out of her, huh?

Yeah. It's because it's somebody annoying their mom. Like, clearly she's been in there 500 times before. Right. And this is like, hey, mom, can I talk to you? And she's like, Karen, get the fuck out of here. She's just losing it. Right.

It's just over five minutes. All right. Oh, my God. Swim in there. Well, that's a good thing. He just looks like one of those dads that takes a lot of shit. What are these guys? What are these guys?

He's down. He's a cock. He's a cock. He's a cock. He's broken down. Yeah. He's a broken down cock. Yeah.

He's been beaten and broken in. Do I still look good? 57? No. No. The answer is no. Right. I've seen a lot worse 57-year-olds.

Yeah. I have. But here's the thing. I mean, to wear something like that, maybe not. Why didn't you just wear like a dress or something? Well, that's like Hogan now at a meeting. Just appropriately for a 57-year-old. Exactly.

Exactly. And also too, isn't it kind of, you're kind of like baiting people to be like, hey, don't I look good? Well, yeah. Again, because to me, if you're 57 and you're wearing a bikini, you're obviously trying to show your slamming body. Yeah. Because not many bras have good bodies.

No. Of course. I lost my, who knows. Yeah. But yeah, nobody does. Right. Unless you're fucking rich. Yeah.

You're crazy. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. Now I'm thinking of like that. She can go fuck herself. Yeah. Like, don't make me answer that asshole.

Hello, everybody. My name is Phillip. I'm 24. I'm from the United Kingdom. I'm single. I'm looking for a beautiful new girlfriend who wants to spend time with me. Direct message beyond the TikTok messages. It will be nice to hear from you.

This guy. It sounds like somebody make fun out of a British person. Yeah, it does. It's like somebody's holding a gun to his head on the other side. It's also somebody that's forced. That is not understanding that TikTok is not a dating fucking app. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I didn't know that either. Yeah. This guy's like, message me. Let's help him. I'm 24. We're going to get him a bitch. You're good with the bitches. Not really.

What could, well, you know, you're married now. What could he do? Yeah. Let's try to help. Get on Tinder, probably. Yeah. Get on. Isn't that a fucking thing?

Don't stand like a soldier. What the fuck are you doing? Look at that. He's probably not that good with the ladies. It's like super nervous. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

So I would say maybe like get a couple drinks or something. Yeah. Relax. Relax. Exactly. Yeah. If you had a plastic surgery, it wouldn't hurt. Get some plastic surgery.

A muscle suit. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. There's a few things you could do. Well, also I agree. Maybe loosen your stance. He's standing like.

Yeah. That's my whole point. Like Hitler youth. Yeah. Like relax a little. Relax a lot. I feel like this is not real. I feel like it's somebody trying to be silly doing this.

Oh no, sweetie. This is trust me. I know. You're the professional. You're the pro. But now to his benefit, excellent lighting and great background. Yeah. You don't often see a good background.

And you know, that's, I can tell you're special because it takes a special person to appreciate a special background. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And you fucking know that with that one. I see a lot of bad videos like this and he did it okay. Like I know he did it, but it looks like he didn't want to do it. Well, he was probably like, if I'm, and he's probably like, look, if I'm going to do this

dating app TikTok of yours, I'm going to have to be in a nice and looking place. You know what I'm saying? I need flowers guys. So they, they, they delivered for him. Yeah. Let's try. I found that using the back door of your wife is considered sodomy. Yeah.

Use the proper entrance that God prepared for your member and rejoice instead of coventing a place that was never meant for it. Yeah. I'm not a butthole guy myself. Me neither. I hate the butthole. Well, you're not a guy in general. No, nobody mean like, I don't.

Yeah, you're only in the but. I don't like that stuff. I don't like my butt being, I've done like two hours straight about it. I don't like my asshole fiddled with, touched, looked at sideways, nothing. Thank you. And I don't know what this big fat is right now eating ass and all that. But yo, if you, okay, you're here on a good day, I don't know how much money would take me to eat somebody's ass.

Thank you. This is fucking anus. Thank you. It's medically fucking disgusting. Thank you. I mean, not like a nut sack or a fucking meddys medically. This guy, this guy's been rallying the mommies, rallying everybody for me to lick his scrum. And I don't mean that's his base to like, my husband wants me to lick his scrum, his

scrum. Okay, scrum. And the region around it. And I'm like, no, dude, I'm a lady. It's not hate. Well, I mean, let me, let me just tell you this, I'm going to just recap on this right fast. This is a theory I came up with and I think it's very true.

Okay. So I don't know if I'm wrong, just just cut me off and tell me to shut up. But you could take any human's asshole, okay, any human on earth, I don't give a fuck what they eat, what culture they're from, whatever. You take a human and their asshole and you put it in a shower, okay, you let hot water drip down it, you fucking soap up that asshole, you can put the piece of soap inside that asshole, twist it, twist it, pull it out, whatever you got to do, you could do shit out with fucking flower juice, you know what I'm saying?

Rinse them off all that, get them on the bed, fucking kick his legs back. I guarantee you're going to smell shit. Thank you. That open butthole. Thank you. You don't think so? Okay. You agree?

I mean, here's the thing, man. You cannot wash an ass, that's the funk of your inside of your body coming out of your butthole. I mean, I've eaten a few asses. Okay, you're an ass eater. Yeah, I mean. I may have, like not knowing. I have.

So, you specifically ate an ass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, so you're like, I'm going to eat this. I've even tried, you know, someone's over here. She was like, fuck no, okay. No, she weren't like, fuck no. I was drunk, I let it happen in Utah, I've let it happen. And all I'm saying is like, you know, fucking I cooked you a dish, why don't you make me

something to eat, you know what I mean? It's a gentleman's handshake. Oh, well, I guess, I guess what, but did you ask for the Remy? The Remy Martin? No. No? No, she didn't ask for it. Okay, so I accepted it.

Right. Didn't say no. Didn't say no. I let it happen, he's my husband. Of course. But that doesn't mean you have to reciprocate. No, I agree. But do you love him?

But being a good wife, man, and you really know he wants his anus licked, maybe you should just tongue it out a couple of times. What am I going to do about the smells part that you just said? Clothespin? Yeah. I look at it this way, if my wife was in the hospital and I had to wipe her ass and all that shit with my tongue, I'd do it. You know what I'm saying?

So it's your husband's asshole. Does it really matter if it stinks? Exactly. It's not like it's some dude you met at the bar. I can't believe it. Probably kind of like that. But you flipped a script. You so flipped on me.

You heard that? I heard it. I felt it. And now I feel... It's three to one. How did this happen? Because I went into it. I went into it, you know, not like in my asshole touch, but you know, because you're married,

that changes the whole fucking thing. You should be as comfortable around each other than anybody else in the world. That's true. Yep. I see it. With anises and tongues and all. Meet him halfway. Start at the chad or the taint, whatever you want to call it.

That'd be cool. Start there. Can you do that? Yeah, you can just lift the nuts up. Yeah. You can't do the taint. Yeah, wait, wait, there you go. Hold on.

How about this? How about this? How about... You could do a hot taint, yeah. Okay, are you asking her to eat your ass from the back or the front? Like you're just getting like your dick suck and you just lean back? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so that's allowed.

That's acceptable. Yeah. If you were just bent over, you know what I'm saying? She was eating your ass like that. No, I just wanted her to change my dye dye. That would be horrible. That would be horrible. That's not acceptable.

It's got to be a little leeway here. In any relationship. But the change school. Just change the dye dye. Just lick the taint. Okay, well... Start there. If you like it and you're feeling frisky, head sell.

This guy should be in marriage. If you're not, head back up north. You know what I'm saying? Guys, we're both still injured. You know, there's plenty of time to heal. We need time to heal. You definitely got to... Your arm needs to be healed before you...

That is for sure. I don't know if this may be a factor of it. But I'm guessing you're on some kind of opiate pain pill. I have one left. Which means you probably are not shitting properly right now. Constipated and whatnot. Unless you're on a stool solve. Actually, I only been eating one a day.

So I haven't taken a stool solve. Okay, so maybe you passed your fucking green light to do it. Because when you're taking any kind of shit like that, you can't... Oh, it bottles you up. It's up. So maybe there's no shit next to the entrance portal. You know what I'm saying? Here's what I'll do.

But... I'll do an enema. I'll clean everything up. Why? No, listen to me. That's a fucking gentleman right there. Thank you. I've never...

Look, I've never done the enema before. I don't think I could do it. Guys, my husband has runny, violent dumps a lot. Like, it's not... Yeah, but an enema would at least clean them. Like, it clean as deep out as your tongue would go, I think. But you're not asking her to tongue fuck you yourself. A little tickle.

Yeah. Just flirt with it. I can't believe this. Yeah. I thought you were on my side. I am. It wasn't until I realized you guys were married. Now, if it was just some strange at a bar, you know, but then again, it goes the other

way. You know what I'm saying? If you're some dude, even a chick's nedding, if you just meet a bitch and you fucking eat her nedding, you're a special kind of dude because... Eat her nedding? Nedding. That's code word for pussy. Yeah, nedding.

Yeah. I've been saying this since I was a kid. So you don't do that out of the gate? On the bitch you don't know? Yeah. Oh, God. I don't. I know.

No, no, no, no. You've been dancing all night, sitting on your ass in a bar stool, fucking... You're probably farting all night in your pants. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Just fucking right in that hole for the jeans up, man. You're just like... Bitches are no better than dudes when they're out there farting and taking shits all night.

Yeah. I've seen them bitch's bathrooms and fucking overflowing shit toilets all night. I was gonna say, chick's bathrooms are way worse than dudes' bathrooms. But yeah, a dude is a go-right, a homeowner. It's not true. Oh, it is. Where I'm from, it is. It's bad.

I don't know what girls do when... I mean, I've seen... I've seen bitch's bathrooms with like plants and couches and I've seen them look like a fucking heroin den. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. You have a very good heart and you are interested in other human beings.

You make people feel at ease and you're very intelligent and you have a very good heart. Okay, he's reading this. Something you put him on the spot like, what's my best quality? You see it's turning with the words. Tell me what my best qualities are. Guys, that's David Lynch. Oh, David Lynch, the director guy? Yeah.

Don't you want to get nice positive affirmations from the director guy? I didn't... I thought David Lynch was a different guy. He was being paid to read that. What did he direct? I know he's a director guy. We did Twin Peaks and Mulholland Drive. You're so born to a fucking born ass lame movie.

Okay, all right. All right, let's just call it. And that's always the message behind it. Do you like any of those movies? I love Mulholland Drive. I like Twin Peaks. What is that either? That's a good one, man.

I don't even... It's weird. It's weird as fuck. It's a fire walk with me. That was a good one. Wow, I've never heard of it. It's weird as shit. This is when I was in high school and you do drugs and you watch these movies.

I was probably in high school around the same time. Yeah, 45. I'm 46. There you go. I see what's in the fucking chamber. What's that? David Lynch? Oh.

Oh, here we go. I got a question for you. You came back with a question. What if I broke into your house? Nice. I got to... Woke you up with a big kiss, gave you a nice hot shower and made breakfast for you. What pissed on you?

And pampered you all day. Well, first of all, you broke into your house. You got that to begin with. Yes. He threw everything nice out of the way. What if I did that? I'm not saying I'm gonna, but what if I did? What if I did?

How would you react? Just wondering. Gave you a foot rub and gave you a foot rub and put lotion all over that. Is this since the date or after the date? Is this before? This is way after. That's a good question. We met months ago.

So this is like... He's ramped up. This is new. Like, yeah. Like, I want to share this with you guys because he's horned up. What happened to him? Something happened. You did something magical to him.

He got vaccinated, man. He got vaccinated out there. Buddy, what would you do? He's all horny now. He's all horny now. What will you do? That was a good one. I would...

I would... That was threatening. I would immediately call the police is what I would do and run the fuck out the door. Hell yeah. If I had a gun in my nightstand, I would definitely shoot him. No question. I'm gonna play devil's advocate. If someone is to break in your house and they want to rub your ass and your feet, that's

pretty nice. Better than the other options. He definitely does not want to rape you though. He's getting murdered. What will you do as if this is gonna happen? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Hey, just know though, he's not gonna rape and murder you. He's just gonna rub your feet and ass.

That's it. Nothing weird. You don't gotta lick his butthole. You gotta do none of that. What are you guys offering? Are we... Yeah, he'll cook you breakfast even. Run the shower.

I know, but yeah, he's trying to do the fantasy. I know, but can't Ryan Gosling do that? Well, no, because let's just face reality. He's busy right now. I'm in the same boat as you. This is who you get doing it. You just see the bitches that do that shit to me. It's fucking uncanny.

For lack of a better word. Yeah, like, I'm not getting offers from like Brad Pitt. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the... That's just not how the game works. Because they're sane. That's why. Thanks, you know how to...

Coconut macaroons are a high-protein, high-fat treat. Why is her chest wet? She's a big bowl of coconut and I'm gonna whip some egg whites, too. Really easy. It's a bag... She looks like she had six other legs chilling. Is that shirt blown?

It looks like she's got a fucking... like a butt pussy between her two. I think she put her... What is that? She put her shirt on this morning. She put her shirt on from the neck up. This is so crazy. So she does these recipes on her TikTok

and then... So her draw, obviously, she's supposed to be sexy. Well, no. That's so not sexy. No, she's trying to show you how to make coconut macaroons and then she gets upset when people in the comments are like, Nice jits. Let me see these jits.

And she's like, Guys, I'm trying to do macaroons. Like, she gets upset. That's my favorite type of lane chick. Holy shit, she looks like Wendy Williams in the face, don't you? Oh my god. Maybe that's her alter ego. She's doing titty fucking cooking.

She's pretty though. I mean, she's gorgeous. No, she isn't. No, she isn't. She's a very good pour of vanilla. Eat meat. She'd be good looking. She was like 70.

Coconut macaroons for a high protein, high fat snack. She's got like the skin of a salamander. She looks like... She looks like her skin would just like peel apart and some demon would come out of her. You know, like a rotisserie chicken from Boston Market? It's just kind of like that. It does.

She has chicken skin. Guys. It looks like she wants to cry, but she can't. It's just like... Her face is stuck like that. No question. You guys have a very strong reaction to her. This is interesting.

I like it. You're very... We're heating up. Do you guys live out in LA? I don't see bitches like this every day. Oh yeah. This is every Tuesday. This is down the street.

Bitches like this all the time. She got some long titties too. Long titties. Yeah. How come nobody's mentioning that? That they're long. There's nice titties. What about long titties?

Is that not a compliment? Hey, long titties. Nice long titties. Not even nice. It's hey, long titties. There's type of chick that posts... Let's just say even her, but like even chicks that are like... Chicks.

Chicks that are like in, you know, have the belly out. Titties you can see. And then they post pictures. People are like, yo, check out your body. And they're like, it's not all about my body. And you're like, yeah, you're wearing fucking, you know, your yoga gear. You're making it about your body. You're making it about your body.

I mean, does this even have to be a discussion? No more. We all know it's the cry for attention. It is. I just think it... But then don't deny it. Like on the other hand... Of course.

But you don't want to be a slut or a whore, you know? No, but she could be like, hey, do you... I'm really... I love my tits. You know what I'm saying? Look at my long titties. There we go. You know?

Yeah. Are those fake? Why would you get long titties? Let me tell you something. For like fake titties. Let me just make mine long. I agree. But I'm going to go with their...

They were done earlier because I can see the way that they hang. So pulling on the skin. See, I don't know about fake titties and all that. Yeah. They might be 20-year-old fake titties. That's right. That long ago. Yeah, it could be.

Yeah, she probably got when they first came out. Kind of like that dog. They're probably like made out of a speck. Yeah. She's got that gap going on. Yeah. The gap? That's how you know they're fake.

That's what I was saying. I don't know how to explain it. It's a butt and a pussy. But it's in between both tits. If you're a titty fucking man, you're getting everything. Everything. You're kidding. Well, because big naturals, they normally...

You could titty fuck her and I could touch her titties. That's what I'm saying. You could just be chest fucking her. You're going to fuck another pussy. Oh, my God. You could just be fucking some chicken skin. Oh, dude. Shaggy and the creep.

This is amazing. The palcast. How often does the palcast come out? Every Tuesday. Every Tuesday? Yeah. It's live, baby. And you're doing these vlogs all the time?

Yeah. We come out of vlogs once every week, week and a half. That's called The Shaggy and the Creep Show. The podcast called Palcast. This was actually... I don't know how I sunk down in your car. It's so low. It's comfortable.

It's slowly... I got to keep propping myself. Bro. I didn't know if it was... I feel like a little kid with his feet dangling and shit. This was even more fun than I imagined. Oh, cool, man. Yeah, I don't know how this shit works.

So I don't even know if I did this properly. You're a fantastic man. You're fantastic. I just... I just read shit and we talk shit. Yeah, that's what we did today. We should do... Okay, next time we should meet again and we'll show you some shit and will you bring some

shit that you're super proud of? Let's do a meeting of the minds. Okay. And we'll cross-pollinate. Yeah, you might hate me. No. We'll love it. We'll bring it.

We will bring it. Impossible. Because I feel like you guys are sitting on some cool shit. You are. We got to get you guys on the palcast sometime. For sure. For sure. It's awesome, too, because you're just either down to my basement or upstairs in some shitty

little room. I love it. Those are the best podcasts, though. Yeah. Yeah. This is raw shit. This was so fun. Thank you guys.

Our closing song is Fart Mike Assassins by Brothers Produced by Hendog. That's probably your shit right there. There you go. Thank you guys for coming. Thank you guys for having us. What do you have to get? Thank you. Thank you to all the mommies.

Of course. Absolutely. Yes. Hey, it's Hendog. Hendog. Start my day with the big ass fucking breakfast. Feeling great diamonds on the crevice to my necklace. Top top fuck face.

How'd you get this profession? Fresh as Tony John stripping to bring the bread in. You can call me Unxhine, girl. I'ma make you cry. I got to take an Uber, baby. I got a DUI. Gone off these edibles and dancing like Chorro. Chilling with Zarface.

This shit is bizarro. Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get in the car. We heart fucking core.

Don't do it in the park. Say it a bunch more. You're getting the dog in trouble, you dick. Wonder if you tick tocked. Well, it's true bitch. Keeping it clean. Please watch your profanity. Master of accents.

Nobody understand him. You got Dj dad mouth on the ones and twos. We the four stroke gang. Act like you knew. Tom Lake is new. You gotta dump that bitch. So Ashley and Tucker, we actually that rich. Never been that time.

My car's been declined. Better cleaned up behind. Whenever I walk by. Ah, let's meet up. Say 8, 8, 15. A recovering lawyer with an MBA and a dream. Now I'm saying I mean they had a job in my life. Got scarce great cuz I was cost stealing bikes.

Got a 2001 Chevrolet Suburban. For the last time, Bert is not a racist person. Still smells like shit and fucks a schnauzer. Drinks a liter of Kool-Aid once in an hour. We want to have fun like hardcore fun. Hey, Darman fans, we hope you like this one. It's about Kim and 9 inches and plus. And how Tommy buns got the best tour bus.

It's summertime and isn't it great? Got Louisiana hot sauce. Yeah, we give thanks. Nickname snake ever since I was a kid. Crazy off the marijuana and the whiskey I would sip. Yeah, you're smart, but sorry, all sales are final. The Sissy of Fremont Street, he all smiles. $23.95 with the rent food.

Right now, right now, right now, because I'm in the mood. Just a couple cool guys. You can go and play the riff. Break your body once a year. That's the key to staying fit. Oh, it's gonna be good. You better believe that. Check the mommy's weekly. Put that on my jeans. Fuck, you guys are doing good.

Is that Charlie? They took away the fart mic, but they're not sorry. On that day early at free type lifestyle. Let your mom's house kick back and stay a while. Yeah.