Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 620 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

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YMH Live is back with special guest Jessica Curson, a live performance by Zarface. It's more special guest, crazy content, the heaviest segment ever, live streamed at YMH Studios.com September 22nd, get tickets now. I get along for this kind of romance. For a man who just moves me like this. Sing to me in Spanish. Oh yeah. You have to shit. Yeah. You're my son. I'm your mom. You're my son. I'm your mom. Ask them will you. Ask, ask, ask them will you. You get your mom. Yes, I would. You're my son. I'm your mom.

It's just like the gaze. It's just like, just, just, just, just, it's just like the gaze. I looked at her and she looked at me. It's just like the gaze. Who wants to know why he calls me mom? You know what I mean? The bull consenting adult. Ask them will you. Ask, ask, ask them will you. I looked at her and she looked at me. You're my son. I'm your mom. It's just like the gaze. It's just like, just, just, just, it's just like the gaze. Ask them will you. Ask, ask, ask them will you. It's just like the gaze. Wow. Always puts me in a good mood that song. DJ Boy Butter with just like the gaze.

Yeah, so many layers to that song. There's incest, there's legal issues, there's gay rights. And then there's also a fun melody. I asked them. Garth's team reached out and you know what they said? What? Quick call me a chomo. So that's pretty fun. You know, on our last episode with Shaggy and the Creep, we, well this is before they showed up, but we looked at Garth as a younger man and I was really swooning over what a hot little ticket he was. Yep, yep. I mean. I'm sure he would have felt the same way about you.

Hey, Christina. Do you think he would have written a song about me? Sure. Damn. I want to lick them gross. Yeah, I would like that. That would have been one of his earliest. Look at that smoldering, oh my goodness.

Baby face too. God damn. Smooth ass baby face. He's got like old Hollywood good looks, you know? Handsome guy. Dang, no wonder he was so popular and then he grew that stupid flavor saver goatee. That's not good. That's not, the goatees ruined it.

I don't think he should. I want to dig in your booty. Yeah. I want to dig in your booty. Let me put my tongue in your ass. Let me put my tongue in your ass, girl. Yeah. Put your tongue in my ass, Garth.

Y'all know what's a banana split? I remember that song. I made a banana split in your ass. Just let me eat you. Let me eat you one time. You can see that. I've got friends that want to eat you. You can see that.

Absolutely. And the whole stadium is like a friend. Whole sweats. They're going back and forth and he's like sweating like a black man. Sweat like a black man. Yep. Those are those old classic G hits. Put a banana split in your ass, whole girl.

Putting some whipped cream on it. Do you want to plug your dates real quick? I'm your son. Sure. You're my mom. You're my mom. You guys, what date, where should I start? Oklahoma.

Oklahoma City? Okay. September 23rd through 25th. I'm in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. And then Indian Appletits, October 6th and 7th. And then I go to Denver, Colorado at the Commendee Books, October 21st through 23rd. I love that club. And then Raleigh, North Carolina, November 4th through 6th.

And then I rescheduled my Salt Lake City dates to Wise Guys in November. And that is Thanksgiving weekend. The best weekend to go out. Avoid your family and come see me instead. And then San Antonio, LOL was rescheduled to November 9th through 11th. And then the Orlando Improv, November 6th. Not November. December.

December 9th through 11th. And then Orlando, December 16th through 18th. ChristinaPeeOnline.com for those tickets. For those tickets. If you clean, you clean. If you dirty, you dirty. Man, you really have been, I feel like it was at Asner for you. And then now it's Uncle Shine.

Uncle Shine has always spoken to me. But I mean, I'll never, ever not feel what Leo did for me and how he still lives in my heart. Okay, you come. That's great. He's the ultimate cool guy. He's the best. But then again, is he a cool guy? Because he never harassed anybody?

No, he's not a cool guy. But he's still awesome. He's the best. Show me that you like me. You know what it has? It has the same innocence and openness that the four strokes guy does. Yeah. Where he's just happy to tell you what's happening.

He's just reporting the weather. Yeah. There's no agenda. He's just like, listen, I'm so stoked right now. I came in four strokes. My brother didn't believe me. And then he came. Yep.

And then there's something sincere about at Asner's too. No, this is just where it spits. It's so matter of fact. Matter of fact, director. There's not a lot of... No agenda. I'm kind of calm now. Yeah.

Yeah. See, I feel like RPC even has an agenda because he's still trying to rally black guys who want to fuck and fuck good. Like he's still trying to make the sales pitch. There's definitely an agenda. Yeah. But the other two are just there for the moment. Yeah, they just want to...

You know. They just want to come and come hard and like... He's out talking four strokes. I want to show you where I come. I want to tell you about how I come and where. It's pretty great. It's pretty great. The greatest people we've ever found on the internet.

I know. Speaking of great guys, let's start the show. We want to open the show. Oh, yeah. Of course. All right, let's get into it. Here we go. My Kings and Queens above 18.

I need to set something straight. Oh, boy. I call Christina and Tom from your mom's house. Christina and Tim. I only do it just for fun. This shit is big time. Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Don't burn me in the fucking stand. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura, Tom Sechos. Christina Pudz. Christina Pudz. Welcome to your mom's house. Christina Pudz.

Boom. Wow. So many thoughts going through my head right now. Like, number one, he's wearing a shirt. I don't know if I call that a shirt. It's a little jarring to see him in clothing. I'm usually, I'm used to seeing him hovering over. Of all the wild shit we showed Shaggy and the Creep.

The thing that they were like, whoa, was his stuff. Was the King's videos. They were like, what's going on? Like the guy in ICP tattooed makeup was blowing their minds. Yeah. We're showing him like people's legs breaking and, you know, crazy people. And then we played this and he was like, what the fuck?

Yeah, that guy's messed up. So funny. So funny. This is what got him the most. Yeah. And just can I say for the record, I think probably a top five YMH moment for me to be watching my favorite tiktoker, the ICP tattoo face guy.

Oh my God. With Shaggy from the ICP. And him dunking on him. Him being like, this dude is a fucking idiot, man. It was so. That was the best. Gosh, I love the internet. He's watching that video.

He's like, you fucking retard. Yeah. Wow. What a fun day. What a special moment. So thank you, Shaggy and Creep. Yeah, they were fantastic. I had no idea what to expect.

I mean, I thought it'd be fun. You know, they were coming to do the show, but like, I didn't think it was going to be that much fun. So much fun. I was laughing my ass off that whole time. Me too. Yeah. And I was still thinking about it.

I was like, oh, it's such a good interview. So much fun. I feel like those two guys are kindred spirits, you know? They're great. I feel like we share a lane. They're great. Well, you want to hear what the king has to say about this? Of course.

I imagine one person commented like, you don't know their names, dipshit, and he's like, come on, guys. Let him explain. All right. My king's and queen's above 18. I need to set something straight. I call Christina and Tom from your mom's house. Christine and Tim.

I only do it just for fun. I don't mean anything by it. I know their names. I just do it to spice things up. So I apologize. I want to let you know why I do it. I just like to mess with them. No harm.

She's got thick skin. Both of them do. They can take a joke. That's why I love them. She's my big-titted animal queen. Wow. And he's the king of the month for taking care of her. Thank you.

Christina and Tom. I just had to clarify that. You have a lot of people on my page saying that I call you guys by other names. I am sorry. I apologize. You don't have to apologize. I was just messing with you.

I know you understand. I just want everybody else to. Okay. Love you, my queen. Thank you. Tim. Christine. Okay.

Aww. Where's that smile? Yeah, I had to get one in there. He's sweet. Christina and Tom. You guys have a beautiful day. Thank you. I love you both.

Thank you, Steve. First of all, I'm glad you cleared the air. This was something that was really gnawing at me. God, we were so upset. And now I don't have to be upset anymore. No, that was very nice of you, Mr. King Guy, to let us know that you're just razin' us. And as you pointed out, you do it.

I just do it to spice things up. To spice it up. And it feels real spicy now. It's different. It was cool. It was so cool that he cleared the air. Oh, man, what was I gonna say? I like that he also wishes us a good day.

You have a good day. You have a good night. He's always polite with that. You gotta make sure people are having a good day. You gotta do it. I wanna laugh. You wanna laugh. Good day.

You having a good day? Have a good day. You have a good day? What? Did you have a good day? Have a good one. Okay, so this might be, like, the communist in me, but nothing. It, like, really just, it just irritates me when you answer the phone, like, hi, hi,

Mrs. Segura, how are you today? I'm fine. How are you today? And then we can go on with the exchange. Like, can we just skip that? Yeah, a lot of people do. I don't want to ask how you're doing. You're not even gonna answer me and give me an update.

You're not gonna answer the, why do Americans do this? It's so dumb. Yeah, it's a, it's definitely. I mean, not that I'm not American, but I do feel like it's definitely not. It feels American. An Eastern blocker. It's a, yeah, it's a chit chat kind of polite thing. It's fucking chit chat.

It's chit chat. How's everybody doing today? I'm good. How are you? Fine. Can we order? Yeah. I don't even answer sometimes.

You having a good day? No. Can I get this now? Yeah, exactly. Like, don't ask me. You don't really want to know. Yeah. How are you today?

Fine. How are you? It's like an extra 30 seconds that I don't want to waste. Yeah. Just, just do the thing. Let's go. Yeah. I'm good.

I'm good. You good? Yeah. It's, I know, it is a waste of time. God, get on with it. But I'm glad he did apologize, you know, because I was so upset about it. Weren't you up nights wearing that he doesn't know your real name and stuff? Steve?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like that. I was like, wait, wait, wait. He's calling me Tim. So offensive. You're the first guy to call me Tim in this whole fucking good world. The first time ever, Gene.

Yeah. Um, there's so much to get into. Oh boy. Always. So much to get into. Do you know, uh... You got some fun clips you're going to show me? Oh yeah.

Maybe you feel bad? No, no. This is a fun one. So this is Ricky Turkeos, MMA fighter. Cast member on UFC reality show, The Ultimate Fighter. My name is Ricky Turkeos. I'm from Houston, Texas. I'm 27 years old.

You know what I'm saying? Hey. But it's good to see y'all for this interview. You know what I'm saying? We're going to be chopping it up. He's high. I've done martial arts my whole life. You know what I'm saying?

I could remember being a young boy doing martial arts since I was like five. You feel me on that? I remember being in the... That's my first memories. You feel me? You could even do defense drills. You feel me on that? He would like, hey, put your hands up.

You feel me? He would do a little touch, a little light touch spar with me. You know what I mean? That's how you got to pick that jab. You got to block that jab. You know what I mean? Okay. So you get it.

I know what you're saying and I know what you mean. Yeah. So Ricky is doing his press call. He seems like... I love this kid already. Yeah. He's got great personality. Yeah.

Outgoing. He's got a big smile. I haven't seen him fight. I don't know much about him, but I'm on your side already. And we just really, really was dropping those, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You feel me on that?

You feel me? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You feel me on that? … You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying. You know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You feel me? Shout out? You know what I mean? You feel me? You feel me? You feel me?

You feel me? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

So what was I thinking? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You feel me? You know what I'm saying?

You feel me on that. You feel me on that. You feel me? You feel me. You feel me on that? You feel me? You feel me? You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You feel me? Like, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? That's cool.

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? I didn't think anything could top that. It's been sitting in my little bank here for a minute.

Then last week, we had Shaggy on. No. You think he dropped more? You know what I'm saying? No. What do you mean? I mean, within the first five minutes, I was like, this might be a record break, you know what I'm saying?

Like, Shaggy was dropping mad, you know what I'm saying? Mad, crazy. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? He does work. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Wavy shit.

You know what I'm saying? I'm very competitive. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Fucking breathe. You know what I'm saying? The panic and the shit.

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Luo tout, you know what I'm saying?

All I'm saying is like, wow, what a trooper. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? My beauty arm. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

Instagram shit. You know what I'm saying? We're streaming shit. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I'm good. You know what I'm saying?

Fuck yeah. You know what I'm saying? This was only the first 15 minutes of the show. So like picture that six more times. I can't believe it and I recognize it because this is the beginning of the interview. I remember this is when we first talked about his arm breaking and all that stuff. This is amazing. These are amazing.

You know what I'm saying? And I was just so enthralled with these two. I didn't even acknowledge that they didn't even register because I was just listening to him and they're both so sweet and real. Yeah. That was so funny. God. Do you know what I'm saying?

God, do you know what I'm saying? Man. I haven't had like, we haven't done like a real deep dive on you know what I'm saying in a minute. We've got to get back into it. Well, I think we just did. I forgot how much I enjoyed the you know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying?

Super good. Super good. Yeah. Now my favorite. Right now. I have a job. This is the human job in my life. You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I'm like, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That was probably my favorite you know what I'm saying? She said at the Shug Night interview, didn't I jail?

Is that shug? Well. It's a guy talking about it. About Shug. Yeah. So, it's in like a death row documentary. I never had a job in my life you know what I'm saying, and in that jail, yeah. It's a little bit, everything.

You know what I'm saying? Man, I'm like. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? He doesn't say anything in these stories. The funny thing about death row is that it's a Dr. Dre's song, I think it's a fuck with Dre Day, where it starts, the song like it goes dum, dum, dum, dum, he goes, yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Hell yeah. You know what I'm saying? He says, you know what I'm saying? He goes, hold on a minute. He goes, I memorize it. Yeah. Because I'm so enthralled. Hell yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Because he says nothing. You know what I'm saying? He goes, yeah. Hell yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Man, we were listening to Snoop and Dre on the way in, and I, listen, the height of my gothdom is when gin and juice came out, and even the goths represented on that album. They sure did. I memorized that song because it was so, look, no matter who you were, you loved gin and juice. If you're on the West Coast, I don't know if everywhere else. It was the same phenomenon.

Yeah. Wow, those two are just so talented. I forgot. They are very talented guys. Yeah. Yeah. One, two, three into the full Snoop, Ducky, Ducky, and Dr. Dre is at the dope. Yeah.

Didn't like. Long Beach and Compton. Now you know you're in trouble. Oh God. I didn't like that at all. We had dinner with Danny Brown a while ago, and I was like, Danny, have you heard my rap song? And he was like, uh-huh.

He's like, yeah, I heard that shit. He's like one of the greatest rappers ever, Danny Brown. He's like, yeah, it's out there. That was good. You know, one of the things that's real, we should talk about this, is that I couldn't go a few weeks ago to Burt's Variety Party. But our staff went. Oh, they did.

And listen, I got a full report from Nadav, and Nadav is out sick today, but listen, I got a full report, I got some intel on Zolo, as we all know, the eaters in this crew are amazing. We have some outstanding eaters, and he's really good with In-N-Out. He can wolf down, what is it, like four or five burgers and one sitting, Nadav and his baby Lafa, he took that home in a febrize bag and ate that, that was like a five pounder. We've been sleeping on Zolo, because Josh Zolo is the youngest of us all. What are you, 21, and you're the mightiest eater.

He can go hard anytime, any place. How's that food? Now, Nadav gave me a full report, and any that at this event that Burt was being honored for, he's like, basically, there wasn't a slider that Zolo refused, like the sliders would come around, those cheeseburger sliders, and he would house four at one time, and then pizza, house, house, house. I didn't pay attention when we went to that steakhouse, did you, how would you eat that night?

Oh, he's an eater. I had a big steak, filet, and then, you know, all the appetizers and the sides and everything. So you went to town. Oh yeah. And the desserts. Yeah. We made him a dessert plate. Oh yeah.

He ate all of it. 21, he's 21. But look how tiny, like he still, he doesn't, it doesn't go anywhere. That metasalism is in full gear, man. The metasalism. Metasalism is in sixth gear right now. Man, enjoy that shit, son. Yeah.

Even when it slows down, just keep eating like that. Yeah, no, but I mean, that's my favorite part of going to these events, you know, they're always bringing around plates of food. Do you show up hungry on purpose, or no, you just show up wherever you go? I mean, it was like, it was like 6 p.m., so it was dinner time, and I hadn't eaten, so I was like, fuck it, this is dinner, so I went to town, and it was good. What do you normally eat, because when you're around us, we get well-rounded meals generally sent to the office.

What are you eating for dinner, like tonight? You'll go home. What do you get? Are you stopping at Taco Bell? Are you cooking? What's your meal? I love me some Taco Bell, but I think I'm a pretty well-rounded eater for the most part. Like I eat like, I try to eat relatively healthy and clean.

What was it last night? What did you have for dinner? Last night was a burger. Last night was a burger and fries. What kind of burgers did you get? I went to Johnny Rockets, and so it was like the nice old style, like, I don't know, California burger. Do you have a favorite burger, because I think burgers might be my all-time favorite food.

I think it's hard to beat In-N-Out, In-N-Out double-double animal style. When I was in Texas, I went to Whataburger. A lot of people try to compare those two. Whataburger is dog shit, compared to In-N-Out. When I first said that online, man, I don't know, three or four years ago, and I got just annihilated by people, and then I thought maybe I got it wrong. I was like, man, maybe I had a bad one, and I went back and got another one. It is fucking bullshit.

I mean, it's good, but the way Jack in the Box or Carl's Jr. is good, it's not notable at all. It's not at all. Yeah. And they put too much mayonnaise on there. It's like a fucking Midwestern mayonnaise burger. The bread sucks. The bread is part of the ingredient of a great burger.

The bread's terrible. 100%. No, I would do In-N-Out, Shake Shack is fucking good shit. That's definitely up on point. Super good. Yeah. But Whataburger, I don't know why those fucking dum-dums think it's something special. It's the most bullshit burger I've ever had.

I don't get it at all. Oh, White Castle can suck my tits, too. White Castle was another disappointment. When I was over in Chicago, I had White Castle, also dog shit. Not notable. Nope. You know, the meat has to be fresh, and the bun has to be fresh. I feel like you know what it is, though, is that these fucking idiots that think that

Whataburger's something special, they're just not exposed to anything else. They don't know any better. It's like if you're fucking, I don't know, if you're in Croatia and you're like, you know what the best thing is, roasted flowers, you know, because that's what your grandma makes. Rock soup. Yeah. And you're like, there's nothing better than grandma's rock soup.

Then yeah, that's what, that's all you eat, so you think it's the best thing ever. Of course. Then you get out there a little more, you're like, oh, this is fucking hot diarrhea. With mayonnaise on it. Yeah. But now, shout out to Tejas, their barbecue, I think, is the best in the fucking nation. And I think I'll say this, and this will upset other people, and I don't give a fuck. Go for it, Tom.

This show is controversial as heck. I'd much rather have barbecue in Texas than in Kansas City. Same. I agree, Tom. Wow. Now, that is going to blow some minds open. Oh, I know it's going to upset people. But the only thing is.

Wow. You just threw down the glass. Here's what I'm saying. I travel for a living. Yeah. I've had barbecue in Kansas City, in Memphis, in North Carolina, Alabama, Greenland. I've had it in, I prefer the Texas barbecue. So do I.

Now, I don't really like a dry rub, isn't that what Kansas City is known for, the dry rub? I don't remember. Or St. Louis tits. I don't know. Oh, that's another barbecue place. It's okay. Yeah.

But I'm telling you, in Tejas, you order brisket, which is not my favorite. It's not. Brisket is usually dry pussy meat, but they make it so juicy. Yo, it's like rooties. Get that shit. Get your life. Like in Austin, that shit is so tight, dude. Yeah.

And the sides, if you can get some good sides. Now, that's a problem with a lot of barbecue in Tejas than everywhere, I'd say. If the sides are shit, everything else is shit. Like, why don't they focus on their sides? You can't just give me a slice of white bread and call that a side. Well, that's just supposed to sop it up. Sop up all that grease, you know. Yeah.

But I want macaroni and cheese. I want green beans. You can get all that. I want some kick-ass slaw. Yeah, but they're not always superior. They don't always focus on the sides. And that fucks up the whole game. Okay.

Okay. All right. So, Zolo's a competitive eater. Do you take huge dumps? I imagine your dumps are massive. Yeah. They can get pretty big. God, that's why they're healthy.

Are they healthy? I think so. Yeah. Like they're solid? Yeah. I think they're pretty solid. Wow. Good one this morning.

You're so young and virile that like you can eat crap. Like you can get ripped beer and then go eat Taco Bell at two in the morning and it doesn't even faze you. Like you just go to sleep. You wake up fine. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

That's youth. Oh, man. I'd be in the hospital right now. I almost am. I know. What happened to you? I don't know. What'd you have last night?

Oh, I had drinks. That made you alcohol, yeah. Yeah. And then you woke up. You had your egg whites. You had your bacon. Yeah. You need, you know what?

You need carbs. Yeah. You might need to eat like bread. I got rice coming. Yeah. You need carbs when you're stomach sour like that. I'm getting this fucking thing off today. Yeah.

I can't wait. Can I tell you there's nothing better when you go to the doctor and they're like, you can walk in a new thing now or you can get the fucking, this mitt has been on you for three weeks. I can't wait. You're a little mitten. I can't wait. God damn, I can't wait for you.

You're so stoked. It's going to be great. And you think you're going to get the mitt off for real though? This is coming off. And then you can like just have an arm for a minute? Well, I'll have a brace on. Some type of brace. It's like a smaller, dude.

It's like a danger. But not like a sling or anything. Can I tell you in retrospect, those six weeks where I had to scoot, scoot, we're fucking so sad, like not being able to walk for six weeks was just so depressed. By the fourth week, I was really depressed. I didn't want to get it. Yeah. I didn't want to be able to walk is over it, but I'm getting back, I'm rehabbing.

So also in staff news, you didn't get to see these Instagram. No, I want to know all about you told me and I'm like, what the fuck is happening? You've been out of the loop on this. So lunchtime discussions and on where my mom's at as well. I love to get personal with the booth boys. I like to get to know their lives, what's going on. Chris Larson's been the focus here and there on where my mom's at too. He's been living with a rat and the rat has since disappeared.

So now that storyline has come and gone. And really I love Chris. I think he's just such a sensational guy, great, great person. He's definitely the most dedicated worker, such a good employee, beautiful hair, great jacket and also cooks for himself, cooks himself, takes good care of himself. He's a high quality human and he's arguably the most normal, emotionally balanced of all of us. When we look to somebody like, Hey, Chris, what's the normal response?

He often has that response. So I've wanted to get the other boys help Zolo, any Nadav, because they're on the social media, you know, they, at least for sure, Nadav is dating on there to help Chris find a lady. So the boys have been pressuring him to make social media posts at least once a month because he's, what's his, what's your Instagram, Chris? It's at C-E-E underscore L-A-R-S at C-L-R-S. Okay.

Okay. Now, Chris, so the boys have been- No, they are putting up, it's clear, what's been made clear to me, they push him to make these posts. Mm-hmm. They're like, you need to make a post. Because like- That is correct.

So you reluctantly do these? Yes, I do. Can we start with the first one? Can I see what's going on with this one? You're going to die. Oh my God. Hey guys, the guys at the office won't stop pounding me about posting to Instagram stories, so I'm going to now do a once a month post just for them, so you and July.

Okay, that's the first one. So you'll see, like, I've encouraged it, you can see I put a million applause there, like I'm really all for Chris. I saw that, yes. Getting on socials. He needs to get laid. Okay, so that's the first one. Hey guys, the guys at the office.

So they won't stop pounding me at work to make the next post, so here's my next post. See you in August, yes. Is this going to be your series? Like every month you'll be like, ah, I'll see you next month? Yeah, at least for the short term until I lose, like, I guess, just, I just get broken by it or something. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know that by putting this on, you're going to get a lot more followers now, right?

Yeah, my parents think it's hilarious. They're like, you have no, you follow nobody and you have 5,000 comments on a video. Your parents are on Instagram? Oh yeah. Oh, and, all right, let's leave them out of this. We don't want anything to happen to them. No, let's leave them out. What do they think of your social media presence?

I mean, it's pretty nonexistent for the most part. Right. It's probably far from these Instagram posts, but yeah, they're all for it. They're really excited about what you guys are doing. What kind of DMs are you looking for? Do you want, like, PussPix, A-Holes, like, what is, like, your preference? PussPix. Tom.

He doesn't want PussPix. You don't know. Sweet. Laurison Sweet. God. Legs wide open. He does not want legs wide open and asshole pics. I mean, maybe he does, but he's not going to say it.

Maybe he does. Well, this is a good time. Share with your boy, Tommy. What's up? Yeah. You're not going to get really a response if that's what you sent me. So if you send Chris Laurison your PussPix, he doesn't like him. So Chris, let's go through this because I think you're a high quality individual.

What are you looking for? How can we help you find this woman? I mean, right now, I'm really just waiting until the move. To Austin. Yeah. So maybe in Austin-based, Austin-based ladies, it's not too far off into the, you know, future here. Austin-based are in the Austin area.

How far outside, like, how many miles are you willing to travel? I mean, I don't really know what the distance between Austin and other places is. You don't want to travel far. Don't put out a big distance thing. I wouldn't say outside of Austin. No. Proper. I wouldn't.

Yeah. What are you looking for? What kind of a lady excites you? You know, a lady that, you know, she likes to do shit, but also doesn't, too, because I get really fucking lazy. So I kind of need someone who can chill, but also will get me off my ass a little bit. Somebody who has a similar philosophy to you probably would work, right? Yeah.

I think a similar philosophy is good in most relationships. Yeah. Work hard. Play hard. Yeah. Live life 365. So, like, the girl who is like, well, I wake up at 6 a.m., and then I jog around the green belt, and then I go, and then I feed orphans in the park, and then I go, and I do this

activity. And that's probably not the girl for you, but you are active. You've told me, because I was like, Chris, you're definitely going to be one of these shirtless jogger guys, and you're like, oh, for sure. I didn't say shirtless jogger guys. I said kayaker maybe, but not a jogger. He's going to be a kayaker. So, you believe in, like, moderate fun activities.

You like going out to dinner. Yeah. Are you a dinner guy? Oh, yeah. I love food. Food's one of my big things. I love cooking it. I love trying new things, as long as there are, like, things I can eat for the most part.

But, yeah. And what are your deal breakers? What are you just, no, no. She has to, I guess, be a little self-aware. Like, I've talked to, I've had some bad dates where they're just like, like, I don't apologize to anybody, because I always think about what I'm saying before I say it. I'm like, that just means you have a problem admitting when you're wrong. Yeah.

Yeah. So, like, things that are, like, like that, like, that's a turn off for me. Like, if you can't recognize when, like, when, if you can't recognize that you're in the wrong sometimes, then that's going to be a problem. But, like, I understand that, like, I'm in the wrong too, like, it's, no one's perfect. I don't expect perfection, but self-awareness. Don't be completely, self-awareness is important if you don't have self-awareness. Take it easy, fuck it.

Yeah. Get out of here. Right? Yeah. And also, just being responsible. Like, I don't want to have to take care of you, necessarily. Like, you can manage on your own. I don't want to have to manage everything for you.

Sounds like you've had to do that before. A little bit. Yeah. Okay. What about titsich? Are you into tits, or ass? What's your jam? I mean, what guy doesn't like tits, but...

Nope. Some guys like hungry tits and a big ass. Like, you know, some guys are butt guys, some guys are tick guys, right? Yeah. Well, I can't handle either. But yeah. What do you prefer? Are you tits or ass?

I mean, what's your jam? I would probably be more of a tits guy over an ass guy, but... I knew it. I knew it. And then, blondes, brunettes. What are we into? What's the color of the hair? What do you...

What makes your dick hard? You know? Yeah. I would say, yeah, like, darker hair probably is more of my jam than lighter hair. But yeah. Just, I guess, the less alike I am to them, you know, like, I don't want, like, a blonde blue-eyed, you know, I don't know what we want to call that. And do you approve...

I approve juice. Do you care about dating outside your religious background? That's not a deal-breaker, but I do see that as probably going to be an issue for some people, because, you know, I mean, kind of have to agree on certain things. Like, if you have kids, are you going to get them baptized, or are you going to have them with the Jewish? I don't know. It depends on how religious that person is, I suppose.

What if morning, noon, and night, they say the N word? Is that a deal-breaker? That might be a deal-breaker for me. You got to put these things out there. It's just going to make me uncomfortable. Even if you are black, it's still going to make me uncomfortable. What about a doll collection? You're not going to...

Nah. How big a doll collection are we talking here? Do you like women, Asian descent, African American, Indians? Yes. Yeah. Okay. We got your Flaves. I'm putting it out there, dude.

It's going to happen. Now, Zolo, Annie, Nadav, I'm putting you guys in charge of going through these DMs, and I want a full report. That's not going to happen. Full report. Because he's not going to do it. Trust me. We've been trying.

Yeah. He's not even going to look at them. Larson is ready. Ladies and gentlemen, Chris Larson is ready. I'm looking for girls for pussy. So send in your resumes. Don't send butthole pics. No.

We just learned that he's the one guy that doesn't want those. So... You know I'm going to get a bunch of those now, right? Butthole pics. And you will forward them to your boss. Now. Really, butthole? Sure.

Over veg? Both. Send both. The fuck. Don't hold onto those. Damn. Yeah. These sound boards are just getting fucking light worser over the years.

They're just degenerates. He's ready. He's on boards. Chris is ready. Chris is ready. Can I tell you like, I feel like he's... Come on. Show me that you like me.

He's just a lion waiting to be awoken. Oh my god. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? He's just a little bit of pressure on his prostate and wakes him right up. That's right.

I feel like he just needs the right woman to wake him up. Be that lady. Be that girl. Get him. Don't be stingy. Yeah. Get his feathers flying. You know?

Yeah. I'm excited for him. He needs those dick touches. Everybody needs dick and v-touches. Sure. Keeps you alive. Wow. Wow.

You got to touch your D in your V. And will you be sending D pics to these ladies in return? There's no way I'm putting my dick online in any context. Yeah. People do. Josh, have you sent your D out into the world? No. I haven't.

Smart. For a 21-year-old, I'm blown away. Yeah. Really crazy. Josh and I, he's got like 45-year-old opinions on stuff. We see eye to eye on a lot of stuff. And my opinions are very old school, I will admit. Yeah.

I'm just trying things. And he's like, yep. Water fountains. Yeah. I got you. About Zane, he sends dick pics? Hell no. I don't know.

Zane's a vegetarian. He says he has. He has not. He has not. Wow. Dick pics for me. Wow. Very impressed with his staff.

Zane is so calm. All I heard about is that everybody now sends dick pics. Oh, well that's all I hear is that it's Dick City out there in the world. You know what's so funny about Zane is that we'll be talking crazy shit during lunch and his head is just down and into the phone. He's like, nope. Like Zane is just not happy. I'm just taking everything in.

Is it that you're overwhelmed or you're just like, I don't even want to get in. These people are out of their minds. What's going, what's happening to you? No, I've worked with Nadav long enough. So I came in, you know, aware. You knew what it's like here. Yeah. And any.

I was working with both of them. So I was, you know. Different. Yeah. So you don't, you don't talk like that in your, in your life where you just have like crazy, you don't say crazy shit to your friends. Um, I guess it's a spectrum, not, not as crazy as they do, but. Yeah.

Well, I got something pretty cool to show you. Yeah. Let's see it. Do you remember a few weeks, maybe like a month and a half ago or so, maybe two months ago, uh, this, he's giving me a ticket for stunting because he heard me yelling at someone on my phone and then I fingered him on the way out of there and told him to mind his business. He's pulling me over for stunting again.

I feel like driving away and starting a high speed chase. This is over policing. Yeah. Sir, sir, sir. Just let me put you on hold for one second. I was here for this. Oh. You fucking boss.

You dick. Okay. I don't understand what's stunting and fingering. So stunting. I mean, here in the United States, that's what, you know, the hot boys like Lil Wayne and Big Baby, but I guess in stunting in Canada has a different, is that like loitering or something? No, it's doing anything on the road that could distract another driver.

Okay. So it's a stunt. Stunt. Stunt like your daddy. But, uh, okay. So he's, that's the Canadian term for doing something distracting, I guess on the road. Okay. There's another officer on the way to talk to you.

Okay. Yeah. This guy can fuck right off. And he, this ticket, he can shove up his fucking ass. You can stay on the phone with me until the other officer gets here to defuse the situation. I no longer feel safe because of the little bitch behind me pulls me over. I was at a complete stop when we were leaving him pulling us over and complete stop and I fingered him and hurt his feelings again.

Well fuck him and his feelings. It's not illegal to finger a police officer. It's not illegal to call them a fucking faggot. That's pretty cool. I love this guy so much. Oh, keep watching. God. And I'm crumpling up his ticket.

You hear that? See your ticket? You fucked. Crumpled up. I threw it on the ground but you'd give me a fucking ticket for littering. Fuck you. Huh? Sorry.

I'm not at you at all. You've been very professional and stuff. But that little worm behind me deserves a fucking foot in the ass. I'm waiting for your boss to call me. Fuck off and get in your car. You're a fucking little bitch. Give me my ticket and go fuck yourself. Don't call a fucking faggot.

Fuck you. Fuck off you bitch. That's crazy. You're a fucking clown. Right. It's not over yet. Only in Canada can you get away with that shit. Oh can you?

He's got his gun on me now. The RCMP officer has his gun on me now. Uh. Listen to him. He's hitting my fucking truck now. He's breaking my window. Holy fuck. Get him in my hair.

Get him in my hair. Holy fuck. Help me. Help me. I won't. Send somebody now please. He's got his gun on my husband. He's tripping balls.

He's tripping balls. Help me. Holy fuck. Help me. What are you doing? I like that they're like what are you doing? You've been behaving rationally. He's tripping balls.

He's not tripping balls. You know what I love more than anything is you can fuck right off. That is so Canadian. Fuck right off. God I love that. I'm going to start saying that. You can fuck right off eh? Yeah.

It's not illegal to call them a fucking faggot. Okay. So we had so many questions. And guess what? What? We have an update. No. What the fuck?

Right off. Hey everybody. Mike Lutkin here. Fresh out of jail. Had an RCMP officer pull a gun on me today. Yeah. Well. I got pulled over twice within 10 minutes for stunting.

For calling a cop a few derogatory names but believe me he deserved those names. This cop give me a second stunting ticket. Alls I did was call him a faggot. So then I went to pull away from that and he said I brushed up against him. I rolled my window down and I said fuck you I did you fucking piece of shit. I didn't touch you you fucker you walked into it. And then I drove away. Yeah.

I stopped at the stop sign a block later he pulls me over. I go to roll my window down he had his gun out. He's pointing his gun at me beating on my fucking truck like seriously for calling him a name. So then I got charged with assaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon which is my truck because apparently he walked into it as I was driving away. I've never assaulted anyone in my fucking life. I'm a bit of a big mouth and a bit of an asshole.

But yeah don't yell on your phones in the presence of a police officer or you'll get a stunting ticket. And when you tell him to fuck off for it you'll get a second stunting ticket. And when you tell him to fuck off after the second stunting ticket you're going to get a gun pointed at you. Yeah. I like how the message here is like they're just not fair these cops. Yeah.

Well not that I'm out of my mind angry right now. All these guys it's never their fault. Yeah. Ask all these guys in jail. They didn't do anything wrong. Everyone in jail is like I'm innocent. Of course. And so is he.

He just called an officer a faggot and then what does he flip in the bird aggressively. Imagine doing that to an LAPD at least he has some self-awareness he's like I'm a bit of a big mouth and a bit of an asshole. Jesus Christ. Just a little bit. What is wrong. Yeah. I'm a bit of a big mouth and a bit of an asshole a big mouth asshole asshole yeah a bit of

a big mouth you fucking piece of shit. Yeah. Do a cop. How do you think it's going to go with I don't know that's always been obvious to me that like cops will not respond well to any of that. Me too I mean my stepdad would pick fights with other people civilians but never a cop like he knew you don't fuck with cops bro it's not a good idea avoid police yeah all I did was call him a faggot that's all all all I did all I did all I did you can fuck

right off. Yeah. He was so angry yeah when he was getting pulled over yeah damn something tells me he's taking it out on the wrong person yeah I mean there's some dad issues or authority issues can you imagine though being a cop and having to deal with these fucking wankers all day you know that's all you're dealing with are mentally ill people and now you know like now Jesus that guy is like fuck I'm dealing with a assault with a deadly weapon on a police officer charge like I gotta deal with that now I know and I wonder what it's like to talk about

getting fucked like that's a big fuck you charge like if all that cop has to do is tell that story to the you know district attorney or whatever they have there and it's like oh boy you're gonna have a really long fucking year man I know it sucks so bad I wonder if they're tougher on this stuff than we are they must be in Canada if you do that to a cop here it's not going to be chill it's gonna be really bad for you yeah really bad I don't know nothing about the legal system speaking of holy shit I want to show you this oh my god I just called the cop a faggot and flipped in the bird look at this and tell me how amazed you are yeah I mean I'm amazed I got to see this before we rolled okay let me see alright

just keep an eye on this screen that's not what I meant so pretty incredible that kid's in a wheelchair I know he said he went oh shit he's like oh I can't break my neck anymore I guess yeah I've made my asshole punker same bro I was looking for that kid should not be skating anymore I think once you've already lost your legs you should stop stop way ahead dude you just lost your arms in your neck you're like you have a neck what's the one yes that was called jumps yes this one that's the skateboarders this is the one are you ready for this okay this is so unfucking believable okay I can't believe you're scaring me wait

I want to see to get it you fucking look how high up he is one two there's two floors three he's on the third story he's on the third look he's got up and he landed on the concrete or the grass no who cares where he landed it's wild as fuck he's like yo how how look at that game how try to make it make sense try to make it make sense bro this guy jumped out of the third story wind amazing we saw rain boots break his whole body jump in from like 10 feet this dude lands on his how that's right look so he's got it hanging out the third floor lands on his feet falls to his ass he's up picks up his shit he's up hauls ass

amazing this guy's a fucking he's like you're a how how look at that game try to make that make try to make it make sense try to make it make sense bro you should don't make me like how third story jump are you fucking kidding me bananas he was fine he didn't even go like oh let me sit here for a second let this this pain that's searing through my ankle and knees no just popped up that that is just exhibit a black people are better at i mean that's it that's what i was showing court i'd be like can i show you this real quick this guy jumped out of a third story window and just popped up and went for a job fucking crazy it is pretty well we don't even know if that guy's like 35 i know how that might not

even be a kid he's got to be a kid god damn no way you could do that are you blown away by that yeah it's insane totally it's wild dude it's wild and he picked up his shit too he was like well gotta get my bag my bag and just jog on out of here that's bro amazing i was amazed by that i had to watch it over and over i'm like how is he okay how is he okay that's just different different strokes were different i mean that's how some people you know break their necks on people i know different yeah when that video first came in i thought it was a much different type of video i thought it was one of those uh death videos yeah well i thought we were just gonna see somebody jump and then like the rain boot guy be like ah just lay there with broken limbs yeah not pop up

and jog away exactly the rain boot makes me laugh so hard it's so it's such a choice to jump in those boots that's consistent by the way of ever because i keep showing it to everybody that sits on the couch consistently as people go like like they all kind of just our jar but it makes me laugh so hard i know it's the outfit the choice of the the boots and then like bro what did you think was gonna happen yo bend your legs homie like bend your legs yeah why'd you why'd you jump straight legged yeah dipshit bend your knees okay look let's see how he falls let's see how he falls yeah because he there's gotta be something to this his knees don't don't go straight no fuck no they're bent and then he falls to his ass you know right so what but he

falls on the grass so he's he's halfway out the window he jumps down yeah so he falls on his ass but he goes feet to ass right very quickly feet to ass yeah yeah it's feet to ass feet to ass so far and then he breaks like he is so far it's fucking crazy he's young he's gotta be young there's no way yeah it could be a teenager but he could be in his 20s i don't know how old he is it's incredible it's incredible it's incredible yeah i want to say a story window i'm gonna send this to my doctor and be like yo he jumps out now i will say i read in a book a long time ago if you're gonna jump out of a window always jump out and down don't just fall out because you'll go back into the building

why would you go back into the building gravity how physics work physics doesn't work you have to push yourself out and then so you'll go out and down you may just fall in towards the building ah it's true i read it in a survival book okay many years ago you do fucking hug me what do you need a hug man are you doing are you doing okay i feel i apologize for being a jerk it's all right i'm not mad at you i wanted to hug you you little snot i want to give you a hug you snot just give a guy a hug for me you fucking serious yeah are you serious i don't want to hug for a random drunk guy on the street smart kid yep and that's what you got to teach your kids don't fucking hug drunk got crack heads

on the street no speaking of important things fuck your feelings you know we were remembering the Cincinnati fart which is um what's the most historical why i made coming up on it's six years ago important event yes i was pregnant six years ago this month and and uh we got this clip in about when they're at the hotel no asking about it no at check in there's a room here there's like a famous room um i've heard about it i don't know about it i think it's like Cincinnati fart happened what Cincinnati fart yeah i i was told like one time about it i don't know what it is really when you get hired here do they like let's do it on is it is it like a thing no not when i got hired i've been here since february just found out like two weeks ago the

Cincinnati fart yeah that's from Gavin you know he's doing i think what is that called you know i feel like kevin kneeling made it the most famous i'm subliminal guy yeah subliminal guy but like he's going he's going to Cincinnati fart and she's like yeah she's like she's not registering what he's saying but she's like mm-hmm you know she doesn't hearing the words but he's getting it out Cincinnati fart Cincinnati fart yeah no no again is a conspiracy theory i don't know but they know they know they know she's like yeah they didn't fill me in but i know you're talking about what you're talking about it's on the pamphlet it's in all the tourist brochures you see those buses they drive by and they're like this is the famous Renaissance hotel where the Cincinnati fart happened

Christina P was five months pregnant with her first son Ellis and ate from a buffet yep out on the river out on the river yeah yeah well also i want i would like to yana take credit get some credit we were ordering room service and i we ordered the grilled artichokes and i asked if you dared me to say the grilled farted chokes and i did and she didn't even didn't even some it's a similar kind of thing of the subliminal gosh yeah yeah you just say it and then people are like i get there's no way she could have said farted chokes yeah yeah farted choked grilled farted chokes yeah nobody even fucking questions i did this to my uncle when i was a teenager where at one time i i go i um michael dave i go yeah my uh he's like are you okay i was like oh my alien is doing

and he was like what and i go my alien is doing and he was like hmm yeah just see if we got some medicine or something and i was like yeah i don't think a medicine will help i just feel like my alien is doing and he was like well i could call a doctor or something and i was saying my alien is doing which is not nothing but he had a full like two minute conversation with me about it and then i told my mom about it and then she sat and watched me talk to him more about it and she just laughed but it's like people i don't know what our reluctance to to say like i don't know what you're saying i don't understand yeah so he just what he just kept talking to me about it he's like yeah i had something like that one time yeah it's something people don't admit to being ignorant

yeah like okay so um it's kind of like my method man story where i was embarrassed to keep saying what yeah after the third time right because he said something and he was he repeated it and then i was like i don't know what you're saying it's like people's names you can't ask but i just went like yeah yeah i know what you mean so maybe they're not hearing properly and they don't want to ask what yeah um so eric lendy shout out to eric hollow leg comics instagram he does the weekly posters on my feed anyway uh we worked with a guy and we were fucking with him because he was like a real corporate guy where he would just repeat you know put a pin in it let's circle back and circle the wagons like he was just one of those guys that love those corporate phrases yeah so

eric went time to fuck with him was showing him a piece of art that he had made for some graphic or whatever and he goes so you know you're gonna his name is bill this guy he goes so bill you're gonna look and um you're gonna look at the diminutive space in this and this is the diminutive space and that's clearly not it's not a word not a word and then bill later on in a meeting was like and see you've got the diminutive space here like he fucking said oh yeah he parroted it it was epic like eric and i talked about this for 15 years did anyone say anything no no that's the thing is that because like remember the first time you heard the word impactful you were kind of like that doesn't sound like a word no i gotta i gotta disagree with you on that because i remember

saying impactful to you and you telling me that's not a word and i became a word later it wasn't an alexicon at first yeah i am i've always held on to the fact that i thought you were are worded about that nope yeah that's a that's a many years kind of thing okay impactful originally it's a it's a corporate word i don't none of that as a name a word i think this is all in your head nope yeah impact full i mean impactful sounds like it just became a fucking word bro okay this shit was not in alexicon 10 years really yeah it's some fucking idiot i can't i can't read it is impactful a word see the fact that's even a question in the 1960s so before you were born it would have emerged as some critics reject impactful as an illogical unnecessary and clumsy piece of jargon

scroll up scroll up yes impactful is a word but it's likely to annoy at least one of your readers there you go if you want to substitute the word for impactful use a synonym such as influential powerful or but here's a thing it's one of those things that has never struck me as never struck me as anything other than it's redundant to me it sounds redundant it sounds like okay it had if something has an impact you say well that that had a huge impact or it was impactful impactful full of impact yeah it sounds redundant to me like well it had an impact how has it struck you as that that way that word i hate that fucking word she's always it's always bothered her it makes me crazy because i remember a decade ago more saying impactful on her being

like not a word what that's not a word no not a word okay it's a corporate it's one of these bullshit corporate words that fucking they made up and then now you think it's a real word that shit just came out it didn't just come out it just said emerged in the 60s it's not true it came later than that you gotta look at different articles but you're not reading the articles i'm reading it's a conspiracy i'm telling you right now homie that's over 60 years ago i didn't i tell you i read a lot of books when i was in college doesn't matter the word impactful never happened it's not a real word it's a corporate dog shit word chris larson i think it's a word yeah well chris chris what did you major in you didn't would science or

something you yeah not linguistics but i mean i i think we all know that it's a word yeah it's it's a corporate made up word that was an impactful speech or did it fall out oh no okay um it's not a word guys it's it's it's it's a i hate it yeah this is like it's like circle back put a pin in it no it's not it's not like circle back or put a hundred percent like it's not guys go ahead and email your mom's podcast at gmail.com if you think impactful's not a real word like me and let's let's let's hear what the listen do you realize what the do you realize how stupid they all think you are i know what you're gonna say do you realize how dumb you're gonna say well you're comparing circle back to impactful or put a pin in it like there's an article i read

that impactful is a fucking corporate non-word okay yes it's true i read it in like the new yorker like a fucking decade ago there are articles written about how the word just came to be it's not it's not a real word all right fucking websters it is now because everybody started using it like bling bling it's like bling bling it is not like bling bling it's not a fucking word and then you know no housewives start saying bling bling no no you're talking about slang from a rap song impactful it's corporate slang impactful it's still slang i don't know where you're getting this i don't know what happened in your youth where impacts were made to fucking hate that word what's a word that you hate it's definitely not impactful there's a i hate the word moist

and that's i've i've heard that so much and i've never understood it i never understood why people are bothered by this cake is so moist you're like why is it go why i just doesn't sound like a good word i don't enjoy the sound it sounds like it's a great descriptor though like moist pussy i don't like it which is the best kind of pussy what you want dry pussy i like a dry pussy or a moist this cake is drier than a pussy yeah yeah i like that you're upset that i don't like the word impactful i'm not upset that you don't like the word impactful i'm mocking and laughing at the fact that your illogical take on the word is not logical if you do your research you'll notice there's an article written i remember i read it you know if i do my research i'll find some

article that you read i don't know your what kind of you're gonna find this conspiracy article you just you haven't read the right articles tom this is what we're talking about you just haven't read the right literature let me educate you on that literature the first thing that came up was that this word's been around for 60 years and you're like that is not a word well okay then let's look at it that i just say that 60 years is still not a new word okay okay it did i mean sure it's not i mean it didn't start in the open it's not fucking bling bling or put a pin in it hating a word does it make it less real which means that people hate it scroll up so let's look at the history maybe you'll have a genealogy can you please scroll up i can't yeah oh it's also

accused of being well this says its face but this is fake news mark Lieberman points it out in language log the word was first used in 1950s 60s in context dealing with political theory literary criticism and clinical psychology before expanding into fashion and into the arts by the early 1970s it was being used in major media outlets especially in arts and music and it's not the term migrated business and marketing drug and later in current use Lieberman finds it most in sports writing but also writing okay blah blah blah basically i'm levied i'm right at impactful is that it's not a well-formed word full means full of impact does not mean full of impact but full doesn't only mean full of it also means among other things characterized by as in playful

and tasteful people are also object to impactful on the basis of its occupancy of a space already filled by other words words like impressive effective and affecting can all be used in various contexts to do the job that impactful does but since when does english like to limit itself synonyms abound and most of them avoid the abroperium that impactful endures all right i'm bored well yeah me too because you're actually spying on sense to a todo basically he's saying you may not like the way it sounds but it's a commonly used word and therefore is a word that is his argument it doesn't necessarily what this really boils down to is that you just have beef with the word impact that's right i fucking hate it okay but all your other shit is bullshit let's

fight with impactful then i think it's an illogical stupid it's redundant it's not redundant impact full you've already said what the fuck it is what is fuller and more fuller impact he just explained it in that like it means characterized by all right i'm ready to move on with this i'm so jesus we all have been no i know i i mean nobody wants to hear this debate anymore right i mean my god bring up some fart videos or something get me out of here okay all right here we go so impactful videos in a recent episode of the bill burt podcast with burt kershner kershner just that it never ends i just like that it never ends

i got you a guy that might turn you on something sexy for you is it young garth no his eyes are very open wide he wants you to feel what he's saying he's got spooky eyes yeah yeah do you feel his passion his money he's talking about his dinero oh i liked it i wish you would sing to me in espanol can you sing to me nah nah this morning as i woke up i felt a nice touch you actually touched my shoulder and i was so excited yeah i was looking for a pillow i thought there was a pillow over there i'm long for this kind of romance for a man who just lose me like this sing to me in spanish oh yeah get okay you have to shit yeah

yeah i want to shit i said i want kieto yeah now they used to say yo kieto taco bell it's improper right it would be kieto no you're right no he you'll get it that works yeah i want well you just said kieto yeah i don't know all the grammatical rules okay thing oh god that's thick i have a wish to shit one of the one of the moments i knew um you were for me one of the greatest moments in our relationship there's been two great restaurant moments this is the office top top two moments with you in my life number one we were at this brunch place in silver lake we used to go to

all the time dusties i don't even know if it's around in the sunset and i said to you i dare you to walk up to that bus boy and say hey i have to shit where's the bathroom and you did it yeah well he came by the table right or did i get out no i got up you're right because i watched you and you and what did you say to him i said mecago don't go to the bathroom you said oh yeah oh you mecago don't go to the bathroom that's how you said oh yeah mecago i have to shit and he without a blank that's more like saying i got a shit right where's the bathroom but the best part of that is watching him just go oh yeah right there homie like he did not even blink that some fucking widow came up to him and was like hey i got a shit in spanish he was like because you know you

don't hear it every day like that from a patron no for sure that i didn't say pretty where's the bathroom i made it clear that i got a shit right which was the best moment you were very excited number two we we ate as usual way too much sushi remember it was like on beverly somewhere some real real real real real sushi place we're like we were the only fucking white people there it was dope and we ordered so much food and what did you say to her remember she drops the notion speak much english no that was redondo this was in this was beverly yeah yeah yeah it was not redondo and you go no i remember because it was this place was way shittier this is like one of those shitty like rad then i don't remember what the story then because the story i remember is in redondo

no you go she goes to jev she goes do you like she's like you like the food or something and you're like i split my intestine that was redondo that was that our ghetto i promise that was not it was and one thing i one thing i can say with certainty is that your memory is dog shit i know you don't remember things that happened fucking earlier today i don't care i've had so many drugs the last well i'm doing definitely kasa arigato okay okay so kasa arigato how funny it's like spanish and japanese yeah but listen okay so what did you say to her i said she goes how was the food i go it was great i think i tore my stomach lining and she was like okay

man i tore my stomach lining too much there it's we both did we were like oh and also like you know how much sushi you have to put down for it to make you feel like you want to die yeah so much because you don't get real sick you don't get full on sushi who the fuck you can't get full on sushi you can't get full on rice but you and i threw it down homie yeah you're like i split my stomach yeah so much i was want to those that and then we went on our first movie date and we saw that movie open water no the grizzly grizzly man oh grizzly man yeah and um that's when the guy was like we don't know we thought he was retarded yeah and you and i started loling so loud because he wanted to be

dropped off in bear time and i was like oh this guy's for me dude like the fact that you and i both laughed yeah at that exact moment like i was like i love you yeah girl you're for me homie you're for me homie ah shit we've had some good times together good times gene yeah you know he's looking for a good time everybody for the best it's for today in the past few months and the past days weeks weeks i do have a girlfriend and she is the most beautiful so i've ever met and it's true and um it's moana you know the voice actress that plays moana ali e tovalo she's my girlfriend and i announced the world i'm not afraid we've been talking for months and i love her she's amazing i don't care what anybody says i don't care i'm announcing this

and it is true most of you would not believe me call me insane to lose and i don't care she is mine and i love her okay i like his shirt yeah i like his necklaces too what's going on uh where'd this come from from his instagram yeah from his instagram yeah just got sent in and this is genuine yeah it seems totally genuine so is he saying he's dating the voice actress yeah so like that that is totally possible why is he like why is he like i'm not afraid yeah is she a child is that because he's not dating a voice actress um i don't think he's telling the truth uh but he said but then he adds i'm not delusional yeah okay this is the actress's name ali e tovalo ali e tovalo okay she is mine

uh oh that that's a little friend he's not dating her she's yeah they're not dating oh no i'm sorry no she's way out of your league bro get the fuck out of here dating moana no sweetie no nope this chick's definitely not um dating you big ol thumbs down no so that that that's it's a lie i'm gonna go out on the loom and say he's he's mentally not there or is he living his truth i don't know and this era people are like whatever you feel like you're dating moana i don't know you're just living your truth like live your truth man fucking he's gonna cry though he's about to cry oh my god why is it is it because he's been telling the lie and then so many people are like you're not dating no i think it moana it's uh it's

traumatizing to announce his truth you know like he he's like dating her she's mine he's like we've been talking but he hasn't been talking to the maybe he's been talking to the cartoon like he talks to moana when it's playing and then he's like she's talking to me he's highly delusional which is funny that he actually points out that he's not delusional this is true this is grade a one delusion how dare you he's just speaking his truth tom it's not crazy he's just expressing his feelings god damn is there more to him hold on can i take a pitch before we go to the next thing okay i need to pee so i can be so happy we're back you peed i did i sissy'd hard push real hard so doctors tell you to do

um what we got homie that guy is so fine he's not dating moana i was thinking about that that was a really amazing clip that got to Jesus christ man he's is he considered a cool guy i don't know that dude legit is like i'm dating but he's also i mean he's not doing well you know no i mean he's about to cry you know talking about it it's not a good thing it's not a good thing no it's not a good thing it's not definitely not a good thing it's not a good thing good thing hold on i got this thing dola do you have any benadryl here benadryl i think so yeah i'm gonna take some later okay ready i'm ready watch this one

every time she comes in to sing on every record you know you start getting kind of sweaty and and she's loved the way she smelled how does she smell it's such a loving thing to say she smells like nothing's impossible oh boy i hope this video doesn't scare you god is this trish yeah of course what do i smell like you know what you smell like what do i smell like like i wish you'd hold it in more oh my god babe look how happy you are look look at that smile that's the happiest you've been all day when you're upsetting me look at you yeah that's a genuine smile you never smile like that unless you really zing somebody good god you haven't been this happy all week then right now and

insulting me yeah well i mean we've been having this conversation that's why it's a it's a it's revisiting a topic that's been coming up quite a bit my farts yeah and how i wish you could at least try to not let everyone out you know and look at that look at that and i can happen why what's the point of being married if i can't fart in front of you well you can but you don't have to like no listen this is not an issue like i cannot become somebody different now you're asking me 17 years into a relationship to be better be different it's not happening babe why what about your farts i don't fart as much as you do that's a lie it's not a lie about your burps you're ripping all morning yeah i have indigestion so what yeah i have i have butt indigestion she smells like

oh nothing's impossible god i really like that i'm like on with that like what is this such a gross thing to say she smells like nothing's impossible and the way he said it she smells you know what it is it's like it feels grifty to me like like he knows what he's doing he knows that he's tugging on heartstrings when he talks to his wife like that he knows that that g fan base gonna be like do you see how did y'all see what he said on the good morning show when she asked him how how Mizzier would smell and he's like she smells like nothing's impossible i wish tucker would say that i know but see i did the exact same thing and i tell you and i was like wish my fucking husband loved me as much as g loves trish i bet when he goes to bed she's not like

and then wakes up she does bullshit trish she probably sits on the toilet and does it trish eats yeah i know but she probably farts on the toilet that's probably what happens and he's bullshit he's like whenever she comes in to sing on a song you start getting all sweaty and nervous bullshit after 20 years come on every time she comes in to sing on every record you know you start getting kind of sweaty and and she's loved the way she smelled how does she smell it's such a loving thing to say she smells like nothing's impossible oh god and you know what to like and look the tears are about to yeah he's crying his pussy's all fucking bloody again bullshit and like look how he look how he look look what he does it's really deliberate so you're

gale king he's like she smells like nothing's impossible like he makes eye contact with gale to tug those heart strength yeah like it's so contrived it feels so and do you think he was given that question in advance so that he could i don't know i don't know yeah they always give them the questions in advance these big interviews they don't let them wing it here's what i'd like to ask garth personally imagine a pig with tits imagine that g you think anyone's ever asked him that why yeah nobody's ever said that to him god he gets his butt licked constantly by his staff no way cool stuff slick stuff neat stuff weird dude nobody's challenging him on shit bro ham and they haven't for years um this is something i have not yet seen but whenever i see something

like this in my folder i get excited okay you're both lover can't save yeah sorry you know what i always say time to talk to friends of you turn out to fucking you that was rad that was pretty cool yeah i love that accent i don't know anything basically that was said oh it's tada at the end yeah tada to fucking you like i didn't steal this vodka you can't you think i'm gonna steal a fucking vodka you're both lover can't save yeah sorry don't you love a fucking yeah i love it i mean i get it but it's not like it's all clear to me no you know what i always say i got that tada to fucking you i love this i could just watch them

talk this accent is so adorable yeah i know that's what it's like in france man everybody there speaks like this wait what was that right there like said again let's hear it again from the beginning you choose your antartica fuck it go ahead yeah again again you choose your ants you choose your ants and fuck it you choose your ant and fuck it fuck your ant basically you choose your ant and fuck it tada to fucking you that's nice tada to fucking you tada it's like tata they're retarded it's the same yeah tata they're to fucking you tata they're retarded hey good timing we got you tata they're retarded yeah don't tata they're yeah tata look at this guy's gear too i just oh the chains he's on it bro tata to fucking you

fucking i like how they say they are fucking you yeah you can fuck right off and then fucking it's fuck it's pretty great fucking you you know what i love that movie uh train spotting just to watch them talk and try to understand them and francis begby yeah dude i can't understand a word begby you and you and mcgregor oh you saw him in holston now one of these butt fucking dudes the performance of a lifetime i just saw that i just saw a billboard said it's a performance it's such a good he's an amazing actor though you and mcgregor i've been in love with him forever yeah he's fantastic he's aged really well too hell yeah he has i wonder if he really takes care of himself that's what it is him and wrestle crow i used to be a huge does not comparable as far as how they

age no but i just i've always liked them yeah they're great at young in their careers i just i followed those two bros i like those dudes they bro down hard yeah you and mcgregor you and mcgregor wait where's he is he english you in is is he scottish maybe he's scottish fucking shite being scottish yeah that's what he says in trains is he is fucking shite this is the uk perth perth oh so scottish yeah scottish actor yeah scottish yeah you know what i really hate i have to admit i really hated when um what's his name that plays fucking shrek oh my myers yeah i kind of hate when he puts on the scottish accent why because i can tell it's like i wonder if scottish people hearing him do it think it's authentically as good because you listen to you and mcgregor you

watch train spotting or this guy and you're like oh that's a scottish brook or whatever the fuck they call it a brog right i don't know the word but um you hear mike myers and you're like that's just like a guy pretending to be scottish i got you and it i'll be like it's like it's good he's pretty great at accent he's amazing and let hey he's funny as shit i love shrek i love everything mike myers has ever done but then every now and then i'm like why why the choice to make it's him scott you know like he's like you can do the accent like yeah but it doesn't sound real to me in canada with scottish parents british parents yeah okay i don't know i don't know he could always dip in and out of the usually like the british stuff really i mean you know that was uh that was his

what's the other character what was his love of the yeah baby yeah yeah austin palman yeah i don't know i just i because sometimes i'm like that doesn't sound authentic the story i i read about um him in s and l is they were just like he was fucking unbelievable i believe it that he would write the great great sketches and that his sketches would just be home runs bangers yeah he really has a talent of knowing like what it's a good sensibility his sense of humor which is perfect for s and l yeah like he's a he was a sketch character guy class like i feel like everybody that least that grows up in the states has an s and l uh period that you grew up with and for me i think it started probably in fourth grade and it ran predominantly through maybe eighth grade

you know those years um and then you know kind of fade and you kind of go in and out in high school and stuff but man that foundation of like fifth sixth seventh grade is when i like the class that i grew up watching in that time had sandler rock farley spade neiland mike mires danekarp like those were the stars during that during that time yeah so it was like it's a good it's like a hall of fame era i think yeah that's a tight era dude yeah and then i remember when that's why i think it's so nuts to run into me like kneeling and spade and like talking like this is fucking crazy because of my heroes because i grew up like david spade had said that when he was doing the news desk i just brought him on stage the other day at the at supernova and i was like this is still

crazy to me i remember this david spade joke um it was when cindy cropper did the commercial for charlie they call it charlie that was the name of the song and the commercial and he goes cindy crofford has a new ad out and they call it tone deaf and i always remember like oh it's so he was so good at those hollywood minute snarky shits his snark is the best fucking funny but then in living color came on and that show changed my life now that one i memorized sunday night rolled around i would watch it i'm i write day like oh my god that was the funniest thing i go to school and talk about with shawna the next day that cast was bangers dude jim carrey yeah daemon wanes yeah david alan greer tommy davidson keen and irie wanes i mean those were like the i mean

i'm leaving people out but it was heavy hitters and fucking jailo was one of the dancers jailo the fly girl yeah the fly girls the fly girl everything everything about that show was just banger banger banger too let me tell you something oh my god that shit and then i loved when um dag did the guy in prison that he's like they couldn't pronounce was that him he's like oh yeah oh oh oh woman would breast us that shit god damn homie the clown homie the clown homie don't play that yeah homie would just smack kids in the head yeah that show was great what a good time for comedy that was we're lucky we got to grow up with all that and the simpsons back when the simpsons were like the beginning that was good also also amazing foundation yeah i heard you bitch

all right um it's my time not as many today we have some somebody hopefully there's some real home runs i got to say last week a little depressing kind of a depressing run but i am somebody who respects that the artist has different feelings and that may have been curated on a sad day listen i was on a lot of oxys i was in house quarantine with my broken limb that's what you get bro that's what you get so maybe this will be a brighter now that i'm on a better path okay here you go here do you tell me like is here you go talk number one right oh i went to Walmart dressed like this let's normalize some saggy boobs

for women we have saggy boobs so what's happening today in today's world is like i want to wear my hoary crocheted inappropriately cut top in public and i want to get away with it so what i'm going to do is blame the man and i'm going to be like let's normalize saggy boobs in poorly supportive crocheted tops so when you put it on society instead of taking personal responsibility for your looks yeah and that's that's the new way to get away with any fucking form of lunacy yeah you want to participate in can we please and also you can normalize saggy boobs without wearing that fucking top that's what i'm saying

i feel like she's the next part of this tiktok is they asked me to leave of course yeah should be because they will because it's inappropriate it's just it's inappropriate you know you know that look at that look at this no hi i went to Walmart dressed like this when they asked me to leave let's normalize saggy boobs for women we have saggy boobs yeah let's normalize it well you can i mean you can't normalize that top no the top isn't appropriate you know what i mean like you saggy boobs are normalized i feel like it who's telling you we all know that there's a full spectrum of boob sizes yeah there's small boobs and medium sized boobs and flat boobs and big boobs and yeah who who is in her life is shaming her for her soggy walmart said please don't wear that here

your tits are out they don't care how long and saggy they are they just they're out just any test yeah good afternoon and happy sunday to everyone hope everyone has had a blessed day last night and having a great day today this afternoon here in Houston the weather is awesome it is nice and hot humid just finished doing tons of chores today headed to wash my my sdb right now to the car wise so stay positive be blessed get some rest the week starts tomorrow let's make it exciting today talk to you later bye this is one of those talks where they're like have a good day have a good tomorrow and hope you're having a good sunday i'm having a good sunday are you having a good sunday and he also pointed out the it says happy sunday tomorrow is monday it's the beginning

of the work week if you're not familiar with how days of the week normally go and then uh i'm going to go get my car cleaned right now i hope you have i know it's the best yeah he likes to keep you updated on his life fully updated and that's what i want just to know everybody's absolute minimal move but that isn't at the point i feel like that's the point of social media is that now every like you have to let everybody know what you're doing exactly what you're doing all the time yes and he's just following proto you know letting you know way to go sir this is um at larry m713 he's in dallas he's in houston oh sorry the houston and the weather's nice and hot today it's hot cicadas are out wearing shorts feels good that's another funny thing by the way um that shorts are

like i hate sure they're american oh you learn that more when you when you travel abroad that people are like the fuck are you wearing a hundred because europeans wear capris men when it's hot which are gay they're so gay they're the gayest fucking thing i've ever seen in my life short pants essentially i'd rather give six guys a hand job at a bus stop than wear capris for a fucking minute yeah yeah well anero's wear speedos too they don't wear they used to i don't know what they do now but but i i have contempt for men in shorts i i think it looks stupid why they're just short pants you grew up here you're used to sure i know but i feel like it's so childish like you what are you a fucking ten years old where pants where pants i don't wear shorts shorts look terrible on me yeah

i maybe it's just projecting my own thing because i don't look good in shorts and i i just hate i hate seeing ugly legs i'm you know yeah i don't like it i think it's an immature fashion look at you dick yeah you look like a fucking dick especially when they're like preppy i can't hair what kind of shorts do you accept baggy like cali ones like um i like shorts that go to the knee kind of long shorts long shorts that are like baggy you like short pants i like short pants european short pants yeah i hate preppy okay like east coast remember when we dressed up like douchebags for the west palm beach show yeah like those kind of shorts i don't like the the khaki tiny suit those are real that's a real picture i thought that was a funny picture hit that link that pinterest link there tiny suit shorts

yeah 17 glorious photos of men walking around london in tiny yeah i like that's ridiculous that is a real thing no come on tiny suits isn't open on sunday they are now see there's a reason they put that police character for rino nine one in tiny shorts because it's ridiculous it is ridiculous all right here we go tiny shorts isn't it oh he's getting me off she someone has decided that this is ruin their life as well i mean look how painful that is what i feel like i could watch this whole day oh yeah so soothing well it's a man that's transitioned to being a woman and now she's getting her facial tattoos removed she's not

into them anymore it's terribly it looks terribly look how still she's being i mean i should write them around the mouth area has got to be so sensitive when when she's doing that the the removal part it looks like it's actually coming off clean yeah that's because it's burning that top layer and then it'll heal and then it's taking out the pigmentation in that layer of skin that's so it'll burn it'll crust up heal and then you have to do another layer and layer and layer and layer so i think there's seven layers of skin or something that tattoos goes through that's why it takes so long because it's it's pretty deep in there that's how they stay in the skin this is intense it's the lips too i know boy good morning happy friday hope everyone had a great

night last night ready for a great day and get ready for the weekend it is weekend time before i get started anything else i'll do a few shoutouts this morning i want to do a shout out for birthday loren roscas uh happy birthday have a great day 20 years old today also a happy friday to loren excuse me kyler breezy and cat just a happy friday hope you have a great day and last but not least i want to give a shout out to eric eric is kind of down right now he's going through his personal personal things right now so eric just hang in there man just keep it up keep going get ready tonight go out and hit the clubs you can get it boy so want everybody stay positive be blessed have it make it a great day today and today's friday so what's tomorrow if you don't work it's

weekend time so have a good one and be blessed bye i just had a great idea ready great idea i would like chris larson to start doing posts like this i would like your next monthly posts to be like hey everybody's chris larson uh i just finished work here it's friday weekend's come in and uh i hope you have a great weekend want to do a couple of shoutouts everybody sent me their butthole pics and their post pics thank you very much to loren and shila and stefanie and rebecca and uh i hope you have a great weekend and i'll be back on monday at work i work here and uh stay positive can can we do that please i don't know if i have his level of charisma uh you do you do if you're worried about it you what about just forcing chris to give birthday shout out

birthday shout outs and i want you to lift people up who are down sounds like you want me to do like king videos sure chris please do this please your boss asked you to do some you better do it come on man no one no one's forcing you to do anything but you know make everybody here happier just try practice what today is friday wish everybody a happy weekend yeah go ahead let's your practice run and start with hey it's chris larson hey it's chris larson uh happy friday tomorrow's saturday so i guess that means it's the weekend um yeah so hopefully you're getting off work soon um that's good yeah because it's friday happy happy friday everybody that was awesome that was awesome okay we're gonna start doing this oh man every friday

you gotta do the weekend shout outs yep weekend shout outs no okay here's what it is it's happy friday i hope you have a good weekend uh tell me what you're gonna do this weekend and then he's got to read off and then you say what you're gonna say what you're gonna do you're like this weekend i was gonna get some new pillows and uh i got some laundry to do i'm probably gonna have dinner and i found a new recipe i'm gonna try that this weekend too yeah chris okay so tell them what you're gonna do this weekend go ahead what are your plans oh god um yeah everybody i'm i'm uh gonna probably fix the fix the lock on my door and um maybe cook some dinner um yeah just prep for the for the week you know uh maybe cook four meals so they have one one meal per the day and then

i have a fun fun day one one day of the week and um yeah i'm gonna gonna enjoy this weekend it's uh it's good to be good to be back in LA for this weekend so i'm gonna have a lot of fun thank man you're really killing it with this natural you're a natural all right we're gonna get him on tiktok tune too okay oh yeah the problem with chris larson is that he's almost too good at this he gives information now the secret to these duds is you can't actually give any information you just like i'm good are you good are you giving you are you looking at no is that a shadow okay i thought all sudden i saw bruising and i was like oh my god is okay i was like oh wow you're pushing me around no i just thought that maybe you were like going through a cardiac episode or

something oh my god look how happy you are about that why are you laughing you're like i'm worried you're in cardiac and then you laugh god you're so mentally you're at your happiest when you're insulting me or when i'm dying have you noticed that no look how thrilled you are this is the happiest you've been on episodes you think i'm going in a cardiac arrest look at you god you have fucking emotional problems okay okay okay okay should we keep going please do the video call i want to fuck you please please beg me please i am very much interested fuck you please i'd like to see that from chris larson too oh that'd be a good one horny talks yeah you're asking for a lot now that was that was really cool that was a good one

right so so this this so this is like ramping up to the weekend when the horny talks start coming people start drinking on thursday right they start thursday night generally and then by sunday it is horny fever all over the talk so at least in my feed people get fired up okay pretty cool this guy is so horny yeah i love this i'm putting that tayin on these motherfuckers watch this bitch watch nah uh just put some fucking tayin on there and some soy sauce they're just all alive and crawling yeah bro she eats them right out the bowl homie really this bitch is wild she does all those mook bangs you ever fucking yeah that's live hard pass g e t l i v e i right so you're missing your your front teeth

i only have six teeth in my mouth how do you chew i gum everything really so you don't eat steak i do there are certain foods that i eat that i have to cut in small pieces and pretty much i just swallow them whole just like a snake does that i'm sure you should yeah so it's taken some time to get used to it a different way of eating so you know there are different things that change in my life because of my transformation and eating is one of them if you see the pattern and what's going on there's several stages of evolution so my transformation is a metamorphosis and i will reach the end stage as a full dragon when i have all my procedures completed moving on my name is tia matt legion madusa and you are i am no yeah um you know i'm even curious i mean

what's happening here this was really a good find i mean he's converting to be a snake well he's a snake now he wants to be a dragon and he only he only has six teeth so he gums everything i got it all and the eyes everything's understood i mean dude you're not fucking blown away i'm upset listen in the history of the shit that i have found on the internet i would argue this is top 10 fucking crazy bro i don't like it of course not that's the whole point that's what i love is what you know i like things that are wild that i like not that i don't like i don't like this do you think now hold on just listen to me for one second do you think in today's world that he has a therapist who's like yes this is wonderful you're finally becoming the dragon snake

you've always wanted to be you need to go with this your feelings are important you feel like a snake you are a snake or do you think they're like listen you've got severe emotional i think this person doesn't have the uh wherewithal to seek out a therapist i think they're like i'm my own therapist but you know people like that but hold on i i i talk to myself yeah that's who i mostly talk to is me do you think though if this story were to go into the media and people would congratulate him like man finally becomes a snake he's always known he can be and like we congratulate him for his metamorphosis or do we recognize it as mental we all know what's going on yeah let's move to the next one what's the narrative for the snake guys in today's society please stop showing me this person

that's the f***ing negative oh there she is i just picked all these cucumbers today cucumbers so i guess i'm going to be making pickles she's like a larry abaldon and with over 35 plants of tomatoes these just started coming in today so i picked all these yeah your tits are too big no one ever told you that no so people do tell her she's 67 years old and she wears bikinis a lot and she likes to show off her body and her husband takes bikini pics of her she knows what she's doing she's like that lady last week who was making because you turn the heater off coconut macadamia snacks with her boobs out like this is just another excuse to show off her tits at a tank top she's like i picked all these cucumbers yeah she's holding dicks yeah it's

dicks it's two bowls of dicks and no i can't turn the heater off because i am i'm cold how are you because i've been in the shut-in for the last eight weeks okay my blood well this was a lot of fun i really i really i don't think you did feel fun i the only time you had fun is when you thought i was going into cardiac arrest that was the funniest moment but i had a fun time doing the show today i'm saying okay but i feel like you i wanted you to leave on a positive tiktok and like oh no i mean these you know these were better than the last ones the last batch was real sad this was better you feel like i'm back online yeah yeah yeah you're doing well again my mental health was in a better place i thought i looked down that this was all turning black and blue and

i was like oh my god what are you seeing well it's just a shadow that's all i'm seeing is a shadow can i see a shadow on your neck and i don't think i know but at first it just threw me and i was like uh-oh you know your fantasy is something different than reality homie i think you're fantasizing that i've got like bruises on me is that what you wish you saw no i thought i was seeing like you know the spirit kind of creep up and choke you out and i was like oh yes yes yes so okay all right uh the closing song is peterson connell by craft maddox this was a lot of fun today it was a lot of fun yeah see we always do well just you and me homie it was fun it was really fun we sit down we party we now i gotta go get this fucking stupid thing off my arm i can't wait i

can't wait for you you're gonna be you're like the way you look i guarantee you guarantee it i should all right we'll see you guys next week later homies peterson connell this is america you dumb son of a bitch okay what you're fired but it's fired but top top they're returned top top they're returned yeah peterson connell

what's up what's up they're chomo retired double age fucking guys how do you get a job here they're fuckface how do you get a job here they're fuckface you know what fire okay you can follow you peterson connell

you you fucking baby right baby right yeah fucking baby right you