Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 622 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

It's going down TONIGHT! YMH LIVE in Austin, TX! Don't wait! Get your tickets for the livestream at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com SPONSORS: - Get 25% off, up to $10 value, and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter code YMH. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “Yourmom” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Get 20% off and free shipping by going to https://manscaped.com/MOM. - Go to https://Talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month with the promo code YMH. Today on YMH, Tom and Christina introduce their new idea for a podcast called Hawdies the Pod. Then, they discover how kids hide drugs, smoke alcohol and get drunk using tampons. Next, they look at new face tattoos and get find an update from a YMH cool guy. Afterwards, Tom and Christina consider going to a Garth Brooks concert and whether or not they could eat human meat. Last, they watch some videos including Tramp Talk, eating butter and Happy Thursday.

Tonight's the night. Don't show up late. Don't get into the traffic jam. Get your tickets right now YMH live is gonna be streaming live from Austin, Texas Go to live stream that YMH studios calm and get your tickets right now and L is the other day He goes can't give you a kiss. Good night. I go. Yeah, buddy. I leaned down. He licked my eye He was like I didn't want to kiss you I was like Yeah, finally I can tell everybody watching call me a chomo and welcome to the show It's another episode of your mom's house podcast and seated beside me is the lovely

Christine Look great That's nice so Joining us live from Austin, Texas is Christina P How you doing? Jean never gets old never gets old. I love hearing next year. I love on China. I love my host Christine And

Yeah How are the wasp is the wasp is the wasp is I'm so glad you asked there You know, it's a lot of people don't realize this that in In Los Angeles, it is also hot people are talking about how hot it is in Texas That goes for Los Angeles residents, too, you know, you're kidding. Well, how hot is it Tom? Well at the current temperature, I'm not sure. I know when I left yesterday was it was 101 here where we record which is a beautiful It's also but it's dry So it's a dry heat. You don't feel it that much. It's different than the humid now the humidity now

The talk of Austin lately has been that it's not as hot as it usually is in the summertime Yes, so people are saying that we're just lucking out here our first Austin, Texas summer Well, there it is, you know You gotta watch for wasp is and you gotta be thankful God that it's not as hot as it normally is Yeah, you know what I just did. Do you ever have a lunch and you're so mad at what you ate? Oh, yeah, because it wasn't good and now I want to do a takeover you want to do over I know I'm gonna I'm gonna order second lunch and second lunch will do it and that's not a do-over

That's called more calories, but I've done that many times where you go fuck that meal Yeah That's what I'm saying like I didn't like the taste as much as I thought I would and now it's all in my belly But I'm I regretted I'm mad at it You know if you like better tastes you want to feel way better about it have dessert for your second lunch. Oh That's a good idea. I just go get like a pint of ice cream. You're like, this is lunch now bitch You know like revenge and the person that you're really sticking it to is you That's the cool thing when you do things like that. I've done that where I'm like fuck this shit

Punishing myself so mad. Yeah, I'm so mad at myself for eating the shitty lunch, but I had no options You know, what's that expression you finger your ass to spite your face? Right. No, you fist your own ass to spite your face face to come in your face. Yeah. Yeah That's the expression wait You know that I just realized that right now Somebody came in their own face like right now somewhere in the world Someone just came in their own face and they loved it. Well probably more than one There's probably some accidental loads that ended up in a face and then a few are on purpose, you know

But there's somebody out there right now who loves doing that to themselves. Hey, why don't you take your tits out? It's their favorite. I'm asking you Me. Yeah, you want me to take my tits out on this show? I want to laugh. Yeah I Show me your boobs Do you really want me to show the listeners my tits? No, I was just you know, I was just oh You're just setting me up for that for that. Yeah, I really don't think that that would benefit the show

Would you like me to show everybody my tits? You know, it's it's your body your choice. So you do whatever you want, but I don't think I Don't think you should do that. No, no Bad idea, I mean, it's YouTube also. So YouTube always can't even show here's the end of your channel Yeah, I know. Yeah, which should be the beginning of a channel the tit channel the tit channel would do real well Yeah, we would make so much more money if I did the show topless. Are you kidding me? Wasn't there a website in the beginning of the internet that was naked news? It was called the naked news. Yeah Yeah, yeah, they did really well for sure it did well. Yeah, I

Mean, there's a reason that anything with sex and like chicks that are close to naked or fully naked does well It'll always yeah. Yeah, that's so true. What about remember when they had we should produce a podcast by the way naked no, we should produce a podcast. She's called dumb sluts and And Like like these two bang like smoking hot but they don't they're really dumb like Like struggle to put sentences together, but they're close to naked Every week we're like check out dumb sluts on YMH and they're just like that's a I got my nails done And the other one's like, yeah

And we're like that's the show Just to see how it blows away all of our numbers on all of our other podcasts Just to watch these two dumb sluts I I would do it with you Tom I'm fully endorsed this. Where can we air it though? Can we do it on? Yeah, dude? You know, they can't be like fingering themselves, but they could be not that no, it's that simple. It's two chicks and bikinis Yeah, it's not even like it's just those are legal, right? Like you can show a girl in a big absolutely you can okay Right now I'm thinking right now I'm thinking ahead and the girls that have agreed to do it are kind of upset that they saw this clip where I called them dumb sluts

So let's let's rebrand it To I mean too hard for graduates. Yeah, it's called hot. Well, that's the show It's hot as the podcast And can I tell you why it's gonna succeed because right now the zeitgeist is to like for instance Victoria's secret The angels are not hot anymore. They're they're women that are accomplished in the world Yeah, which is so dumb like nobody wants to see smart chicks So the fact that we're doing this is counterculture and subversive and oddly I say feminist I already feminist we both have a real contempt for

Anything but a hot model like I like yeah, I like hot fucking mouth I'll tell you this. I want my male models to be fucking yeah I want to be like allow that guy's so much better than me, you know horse I wish I could look like that guy. I don't want to look at a guy and be like, oh You mean if I fucking fasted for a week, I could look like this guy. I don't want that to be the model I want it to be a guy that's way way way better looking. Yeah, I love super models I loved Christy Turlington and Cindy Crawford and all these people that were just better than me But I just accepted like oh, they're they're just way better than me in that department of life

Like they're just prettier than me and that's fine. That's that's always somebody better. That's their gift Everybody gets something everybody gets something a lot of people. I mean, I didn't get a body. I'll tell you that That's not true. I love your body. Yeah, that's love. That's different It's different what I'm saying is that you know, we all get something like I you know, I'm able to Just kidding you're funny and you're handsome and your beard is full of a nice beard. That's what I got You have a girthy penis. Um, I don't like this movement to make everybody equal In terms of the looks department and stuff and that fucking Do you see what sports illustrated did this year? I did fucking insane

They were just like here's this pig and here's this other kid chick that reads and you're like what the fuck It used to be the hottest women on the planet. It was a jack mag That's what it was. It was like there was 51 issues of sports and they're once a year sports Illustrator was like, do you want to come and they would send you the hottest smoke shows alive in Bikinis and that was like everybody was like, yes, this is the greatest and now it's like, you know This this chick fucking is going to school and she's a single mom and you're like who gives a fuck Well, especially because you're right like if if okay So let's maintain the integrity of the swimsuit edition and then start another magazine called accomplished women

Nobody wants to fuck and then there's that mag. Yeah instead of like don't ruin the brands that exist I think Victoria's Secret wasn't doing very well, which is why they needed to rebrand. Oh, that's a stupid choice This is when inclusion goes too far is when I try to make not hot people desirable You're like, no, no, we all know who's hot. We all you don't get to tell us what's hot Yeah, I do everybody agrees on what's hot. There's an objective Criterion, I think it's an unspoken just because like greatness is objective and Hotness like perfect perfect bodies. It's not like mmm. Well, the thing is I really prefer a 380 pound chick. Well, you know what you're fucking weird

The rest of us all agree that that's not the hottest go fuck yourself. It's not the hottest It's not the hottest there's a reason we all go like oh Beyonce Beyonce is gorgeous and perfect like no, that's put her on the cover Yeah, I'll get I'll pull that issue out and I'll just fucking sweating like a like a black man. I get all excited, you know Hey, let's do let's do two dumb sluts Okay, two dumb wait, we got to rebrand it. They're not gonna like it. They're gonna we're gonna make this now I think we should I know so the show is called hotties the podcast Hotties the potties hotties the pod. Yeah, hotties the pod. Yeah, but it's H. Oh It's H AW

How oh my gosh, yeah Welcome to hollies But there are shows I mean similar to that and there's YouTube. I hate when guys suck my tits a Million down. Yeah, I've already gone. Thanks a lot my tits suck. I was not But that's because the you know most people consuming podcasts are still young dudes, right? You're not doing hotties the podcast with me right now. I thought we were doing oh, I'm sorry. Are we doing it? Yeah, I know. Oh my god. I was like, okay, I'm literally taught like literally. I was like

I want to get my nails done, but literally like I Was like, I want to finger myself too. I'm like Listen, you figure yourself and you get a manicure and you're like fuck. I need to get another manicure. Yeah Literally literally what's your color to get for a manicure? I Like all the colors was your favorite color. I hate when I get come in my face And then I got I love it. You don't love come. I love I Don't like it when I get it's all in my hair. Oh, we have

Oh my god, wait, they have to do this too. This is what young girls would do like. Oh my god, like I was like I don't like guys when they're bald smell I'm like, yeah, I Kind of like it. No, that's that's what girls would do. I kind of like it when a guy when the guy's bald stink I kind of like it Yeah, that's a laugh a lot too But like I kind of like it literally when a guy has like smelly balls Oh Here's our listeners

I thought I like I'm a guy's balls. Well, yeah And like honestly like literally you gotta say literally and honestly Honestly like literally I love a small dick, okay Backdecks look good, but that hurt Yeah, yeah, I don't like literally like I don't want a grenade in my pussy Honestly, it's like oh my god, it's what this guy's dick was like stupid and I was all in All wet and I was all yeah, and he's like, yeah Big dick's I got for pictures, but like in my mouth. I have to like I'm gonna dislodge my job

Yeah Yeah, don't you love sucking dick. Oh my god, it's like my favorite Literally it's like I love it. Okay, we gotta do a commercial. Okay, we'll be back hot is the pot I Do read as one of those. No, I can't they can't read I know that's problem We're gonna have to sit on the side. I'm gonna be like stamps.com stops You 24 seven five are

Yeah, it'll be a hit. Oh Are you kidding me that you're right guys will be J and their D and droves telling you Smash hit I know why and it's so because it's so true on the gram. I mean you see who's popular there Well, who's telling me that like you know, it's fascinating about the gram though So there's a million girls that are posing with their asses out and their tits out and being like, uh, right? Yeah you can see a girl on there

with 600 followers And and a thousand posts and she's like half naked Hmm and you scroll And there's another girl half naked She's got 6.8 million followers. I'm like, I don't understand What is going on like why I understand that all these people are trying to do the same thing But what makes the one pop? I don't really I don't know Someone told me especially when it's just in photos, you know, I mean like we're talking about just it's not like

creating a podcast or Like more involved content. These are just photos. I know I know but then someone told me the cast was it us we're talking about riverdale And that cast has like everybody on that cast is so attractive and they have just millions of followers I mean, is it is it that you know that person? So maybe May that Yes, I think that's the thing but i'm talking about these are unknown Unknown people like I read an article about how there are so many content creators on only fans

that for Like because people thought it was like a basically a way to get free like, you know Money just easy and the vast majority of them are not high earners Like it's a very very small portion that earn a lot of money on that platform But that's here's the thing you're so but you're creating you have to be creating videos and it's it's more involved is my point With instagram We're literally just looking at photos and you're seeing and these are not i'm not talking about a well known model or something This is like a nameless just photos. Yeah

Who's attractive of course, but why does it work for some? Why I don't know and also when you think about like I follow Madonna And she has professionally done photos on her website every week Which means that she's doing full hair and makeup and doing a photo shoot like every week to create i'm not mad at that Are you mad at that that's instagram content? I'm not mad at i'm just saying that It can you imagine doing that every week having like a full photo shoot just opposed to the gram But I respect that's wild. I respect a superstar

Who goes i'm gonna deliver Some superstar shit to you. You know, I mean she's fucking Madonna. So yeah, hey you want to come with a pro photo shoot every week By the way, she's to me. This is she's unrecognizable like I don't I know That's partially why I follow is because i'm looking at her face and the body That's Madonna and like what is happening there and and that her boyfriend is like 24 years old always She has been fucking on The same age dick. She's been hopping on it for the last 40 years It's it's impressive. It's she's gotta be in her 60s

Oh easily and then her son Rocco is about the same age as her boyfriend, which is really creep salad She looks when you're Recognizable she looks ghoulish ghoulish. Okay. I wasn't gonna go there. Oh, it's terrifying. Okay I don't know if she thinks it looks okay farts. We didn't do an opening clip We know you want to do it I'd love to okay opening clip for you'll like this You'll okay. Oh good Okay, we worked out this offseason, uh, you know the whole time I was in Melbourne and we've been in the gym together for a long time

So, I mean, there's no one really better to work with Then um, then Andrew Gaze Yeah Did you poop literally I love smelly poop Oh my god, when my boyfriend poops my house makes me so When guys are stinky and hairy Um, so this was an interview. Do you want to hear this interview? Loved it. Here's the clip again. We worked out this offseason

You know the whole time I was in Melbourne and we've been in the gym together for a long time So, I mean, there's no one really better to work with Then um, then Andrew Gaze So the reporter tweeted this I'm so used to every thursday thunder media zoom calls being auto muted that I assume the media calls With the NBA rookies were auto muted. I was wrong. So I'm 99% sure josh giddy just heard me ask Did you poop to my one-year-old son and thinks I was talking to him?

No, if that isn't we have asked that question 1500 times over the last couple years at least Did you poop? Yeah And now there's a game that our youngest plays. He's like I'm pooping and you're like are you he's like And he wants to be left alone so he goes in another room Then he comes back. He's like I pooped and you're like great and then you check and there's no poop and he's like

I got you Yeah, and he does that like eight days in a row and on the ninth day You're like stop fucking around and then there's poop in there and he's like see You're like, yeah, dude. One of nine is not cool He doesn't just buy his time. So he doesn't have to go to bed. It's a bit. Yeah, there's such kids love avoiding sleep It's so funny. God our oldest now. He is like, I mean he pushes it to the degree where he's like I gotta get something from upstairs. I'm like, what do you have to get?

He's like I gotta left a bunch of stuff up there Then he goes upstairs. He brings a handful of bullshit down Then he gets in bed and I'm like, all right. He's like stay here. I'm like what he's like stay here and talk to me I'm like, okay. And then when I finally I'm like, all right. I think he goes no Stay longer. Well, I'm like why it's like I miss you. I'm like, shut the fuck It's been here all day No, and you know what they did to they're doing to me now because I know I love them is they're like mommy, I need another hug Oh, yeah. Yeah, I need another hug. Yeah, I need another. I love you so much mommy. I'm like, oh really?

I mean, I'm hungry and they know I'm not gonna deprive them of food And ellis the other day he goes can't give you a kiss. Good night. I go. Yeah, buddy I leaned down and he licked my eye. He was like, I was like, uh, he was like, I didn't want to kiss you. I was like cool man No, they're cute. I'm I'm so stoked. They're you know, they're gonna start kindergarten tomorrow you know what we got to start really paying attention to is their drug consumption and What? Yeah

Kids are into drugs and here's the thing. They're very clever Different kids are different and they're clever and they start hiding drugs and now We have obtained a video From a police officer showing you where kids keep their drugs No, okay Okay, my name is officer jamie donahue from the film with police department And today we are going to take a look at the hidden and plain site mock bedroom setup um, and we're going to start right over here on my left with um

A bike pump in the kids room with a two-liter bottle of coke and what we would see as a cork Some items of interest here because What kids can do is they can put the cork in that bottle use the bike pump to Fuel the bottle with air and what kids can actually do with this is smoke alcohol smoke alcohol A lot of kids are in that I know I was and that now kids are as well But I've never even heard of prisoners being able to smoke alcohol. How are children figuring that out kids are smarter. That's how These kids on the internet, huh?

They know how to find their drugs and smoke their beer How do you know? Had you ever even heard of that before smoking? I've heard about ingesting alcohol rectally and how that can kill you Yeah, that can kill you. It's like by the way real warning here That can kill you Because weren't caught weren't kids putting like um vodka up their butts like giving themselves vodka enemas and you'll die You can die

Just right into your bloodstream. Isn't that why because there's no liver to filter I don't mean I'm not sure why but I know that people have died and will continue to So be careful Someone just came other items of interest right here on the night stand. Um Is this bracelet this is um What could appear to be just a braided bracelet what it actually is is a one-hitter It's a one-hitter bracelet and it unscrews And it is right

More or less hidden in plain sight hidden in plain sight these damn druggy kids watch Assumingly it looks like a watch kid takes off the watch throws it on the night stand What it could actually be is in this case it opens up it can be a hide and in this case this watch is a grinder Used for grinding marijuana Okay, it's not a joke folks All right I like this kid. I want to hang I would have hung out with this kid If I'd known this kid in junior high, you know, that's fresh how paranoid this video probably made so many parents

They're like every item of his is a drug hide Yeah, watch a bracelet a bike pump Um, some other items of interest is a red bull not the best choice for a teenager to be drinking Um weighing in on his nutritional intake The healthiest choice and it will also um keep them up Arizona iced tea Okay, and then what appears to be a can of sprite But it is what we would refer to as a hide you open up the can of sprite And there is a storage area right inside

In this case we have rolling papers and um mock marijuana mock marijuana And with that real stuff floating around She's giving you all the secrets Remember like when the dare police the drug abuse resistance education they come to your school and they're always fucking nerds They tell like they always use the nerd words for oh, yeah Mock marijuana, you know those come on nerd. I always saw those those uh like seminars or whatever speeches They were so gay in lame, but so gay and retarded, but the what they should have done Is brought in somebody completely strung out with like an open wound on his face. He's like

Uh, uh, and be like this guy's on drugs and then all of us would have been like, oh no like this is drugs Because my dad would always do that be like see that guy. He's on drugs And then you're like, oh jesus you're like a homeless guy missing his teeth. Yeah Stammering himself and you're like i'm never just picking a scab in his face And you're like these are drugs, but they like should have showed you like see this guy and he's just like And they're like this is drugs and just shut them out You want to do drugs? No, we don't want to do drugs That's that is what they used to do to us in the 80s

They would show us those horrible videos like red asphalt when you learned how to how to drive and stuff like murder videos Yeah, that's what now these kids don't eat. That's a problem. They need to scare these fucking kids through real way Remember that stupid fucking commercial that was like, this is your brain. Oh, yeah This is your brain on drugs any questions and everybody was like Can you just write an egg down? Yeah eggs are delicious. What the fuck are you talking about? Show us the drugs. What a terrible idea that commercial. What we have here cotton balls used for heroin Oh, stop it. If you see Throw the cotton balls sweetie. Throw them out

Stuffed inside The significance of this is if somebody is not supposed to be smoking in the house and is this is a good filter They will use it to build air. Oh, I did that in college. I did that in college. Every college kid. Come on Everybody did it. You put the air freshener inside of the the toilet paper roll. Yeah That's how you don't get caught. But that never worked Well, it does kind of it diminishes it a little bit, you know, right? I mean, if you're looking for a smell of something that room is going to stand out, but It smells like air freshener and pot. Yeah

It smells like fresh pot. Yeah Fresh lavender pot. Yeah, that's all it smells like The dryer sheet masks the smell and they could use that right out their bedroom window so that it's This cop is such a fucking snitch, man. Give me every goddamn secret there is Every kid now is like, hey fucking dial it back lady Easily recognizable for mom and dad what's going on inside of the bedroom mom and dad are watching this right now being like We're gonna throw out the fucking the washer the dryer The all the cotton in the house for heroin

every bike thing um Regular mints Mints sprays body sprays air freshener that could be um, yeah Used for masking odors within a teenager's bedroom. I did that. I did that these types of cuts kids will often use for a game called beer pong So what's this with? ping pong balls beer pong like this

That's a sign or symptom that your kid is uh drinking Hmm What a nightmare having teenagers, huh? This you just call this the most fun room that a kid could at pace possibly ever live in Yeah, this is the coolest kid in school's room. Yeah fucking. I want to hang out in this kid's room I know um, believe it or not a tampon can be a sign of um Concerned because what kids are doing with the tampons is they're soaking them in alcohol inserting them and uh getting um drunk from the effects

Jesus. So she just said watch out if your kid has a tampon You better be careful This could be a sign that she's getting drunk Under pussy. Yeah, look at a lot of pussy drunk. She's getting right now There's a parent who just like pulled their daughter aside. Are you getting drunk? She's like what we found a tampon in your room. She's like Because i'm having my period. She's like don't come at me with that bullshit Period shit. All right. I don't know. You're not fucking bleeding out of your puss

You're getting drunk. You're fucking loser and the kid's like God did you get that speech? Uh No No, but my parents my dad knew the first time I came home high He just looked at my eyes. Yeah, he was like, oh you're are you on drugs? I was like, no I'm hungry Yeah, that was it

They knew you had to be kind of fucking checked out to not notice if your kid's high at home. Did you get it talking to? Uh, no, I were kind of fucking dumb about it Like they just ignored it and then I came home on acid Like fucking frying out of my mind one time from Whatever and they're just like go upstairs and I just fried in my room until six in the morning like watching the fucking floors melt And the walls melt. They're kind of retards. I don't know why they didn't talk to me. They should have Yeah, my parents Fucking no one time one time I had my younger sister's back because

This is when I was in college My mom was like I want to talk to you about the James She's leaving at night Going for long walks Yeah, she comes back and she looks tired and I was like, yeah, you know, it's a stressful time Trying to get into college and she's like her eyes. I'm like, yeah, she's probably fine I knew she was what she was doing

But I I didn't rat her out, you know No, because you're a good brother. Yeah Yeah, yeah Why didn't my parent now that I think about it if I saw my kid coming home Wacked the way I was at 15 on lsd. I may have had a conversation with them I think you have yeah, I think you have to have a parent that actually knows Like I had parents friends whose parents partied That was it, you know, those people have a different way of

Registering it like I had older conservative parents who never consumed a drug So they were like they were a completely clueless at any sign And b didn't know how to handle that conversation anyway You know, they just were like should we put them in jail? Like they don't know what to do That's what that's how they think They're just not like it'll be different for us You know, oh, yeah Like I if we smell weed, we'll know right away and we won't fall for like no, this is for cooking

It's a regular out of here I know it's a spice dad Dude, do you realize like I used to I would tear the screen off of my windows in my room Like if I look at my dad or my mom, yeah And then I would sit on the ledge of our second story We had a town home And I just smoked cigarettes in my room. It's not like the smell of cigarette is so strong I mean it would I'm sure it wafted through the entire house and nobody was like, hey asshole. Could you not smoke in the house?

I mean, can you imagine letting it in the house is brazen A 13 year old just like yeah, let her smoke and we're not talking about an enormous house No This is a regular I lived in a town home With my stepdad and my mom and then like a two-story four bedroom house. No one said anything Nobody said a goddamn thing sometimes when I was 16, I'd steal my dad's beers I'd ripped out the uh when the the screen on that punched it out sat on the fucking roof And just smoked and his room was fucking right next door and I drank his beer and get drunk and sit there and smoke nobody said shit

Like you guys are the worst fucking parents in the world You for sure see the beer bottles like I had beer bottles in my room And like cigarette butts, I would just fucking flick them right next to the house and like How are you guys not saying anything to me? My sick my car was full of butts too. Like I was disgusting. Why didn't they say anything? I don't understand I think because I Yeah, I checked out and I think they figured I was so far gone They're like this kid's a fucking loser like I don't we I think they just thought I was such a loser

That there's nothing they could do for me and I was just gone. I think that might be an internal dialogue I don't know. I mean serious. They were like they thought I was such a fuck up That they were like, well, you know, whatever We're just gonna let her smoke and drink in their house and we're from that's crazy My sister my older sister did the same thing. She would sit on outside her window ledge Smoke she's like left the house that way a couple times. They take a party Sure My parents went on a trip international trip

And they were just like leaving her in charge. She threw a party Of course and flooded part of the house Oh my god It was pretty cool flooded part of the house. Yes. Uh, how somebody left The tub in the their bathroom running That is bad damage. Did it fuck up the floors and everything I don't remember I was just like you really shouldn't be doing this. I remember just like being very calm to her I was like she's gonna be doing this

She was like, it's fine. Uh-huh. I have I gotta record hotties the pot on monday Oh my god, mario would be perfect Yeah, for one of the hotties if we could put her like her brain Yeah, and like a 20 year old Dalmatian body. You'd be great God, where will we find dumb hot chicks tom? Oh, they're around Don't you worry about that But where the scarcity? Yeah the scarcity. There's not enough of them Sometimes I I try to watch the

Kardashians and stuff talk and I'm like, man, I can't even do it Yeah, especially like Kylie's fucking boxer rocks. I try to get into them. I'm like, who's why who can stomach this shit? Yeah, my salad dad doesn't have enough And they're like, that's a great scene. Let's edit that into this episode Yeah, we're watching them she ran out of vinaigrette. Can we make this the uh the second act of the show? And I want them to be interesting because I think they're attractive to look at Like I want it to be good Like love but love island same thing even though they're attractive. They were too dumb. We had to tap

Too tarted for tv That's a new expression too tarted I know you'll like this jane. Check this out Yeah, I need to say it I'm getting face tattoos removal. My first appointment is next monday I need to tell you because first of all, I share my life online Second of all, you will see my face changing, you know In the next few weeks months. I love my tattoos. They were part of me for the past 10 years

Um, they truly built the person that I am today. I just feel like now I feel so confident in the man that I became when I was young I had so much stuff to express and to me my ink was You know one outlet that led me to You know, maybe say stuff that I couldn't Couldn't put out in any other art form I feel like I want to see the person I am today without those tattoos to see who I kind of truly am So, yeah

Well, I will say this. Yeah, he's got great teeth Oh my god, can I tell you it's I so I've I've followed him on the gram for a long time. He's an italian That's italian. I thought he was french Oh, shit. I'm sorry. You're right. He's french. He's french. You're right and um He gained a little bit of weight over the quarantine. He was really ashamed about that unacceptable. Keep going unacceptable and then So now yeah, he wants to get rid of all of these tattoos and it's great because we get to watch I thought they were fake tats No, this is I I did at the beginning too, but it looks because it kind of looks like sharpie, you know, it doesn't look like

Well, that's that's the problem. Tom is that they're not great tattoos. Yeah, I gotta get these terrible tattoos removed Yeah, they're just like words all over his body And um, I think he thought he was going to get a little more famous off of them I think that was the intent and it just kind of never I don't think it really caught on. He's like, oh, this didn't pan out The whole thing where I think so basically destroyed my face and life Here we go. I'm on my way to my first set to removal session a little bit stressed, but I hope everything will do well Oh god You think they were like you want to do the throat too? He's like, I think the face is enough

Let's just leave it at the face Look at him now. God damn I mean, hello everybody Here at my second treatment over at east coast laser tattoo removal in risham, virginia Let's have a good one Babe, I love that you group these together I love that like this is now a segment of my image called face tattoos

Are dumb. Yeah, and like we people getting them removed now, of course Of course Yeah, you know, I do gotta say I appreciate all the comments We all make mistakes I'm fucking i'm gonna pass on my But having this on my face has been a destruction to my life Yeah, I want to fucking end it I can't certainly with work have a decent life

No, shit Drugs and alcohol kind of took me out there Kind of yeah, here's how bad of a look that is I wouldn't hire you to work at your mom's house if you look like this You can't work here with that look Too crazy for why am I studios? No, no you're unstable. Sorry Oh my god, and yeah, we're pretty we're pretty open. We're pretty tolerant Yeah, we allow a lot to fly but we're we're fucking inclusive af bro at ymh and that is not gonna Like but how crazy do you have to be to

Well, like he said, I think you have to either be like This guy is like drugs and alcohol and I believe it. He was probably deep deep into that the french guy Obviously has some delusions going on. Yeah. Yeah, he's delusional I mean, he thought that was going to be he thought he was going to be like world famous I think he did because if you read the tattoos, it is like fame famous He's like i'm so expressing all of my ideas that I you cannot Put him all out there. So I put him on my face and he didn't work out. So now I would Yeah, and the thing is he's really attractive. Yeah, he's a good-looking guy

Yeah, because I think he's good. He's really handsome without all that crap on his face. He shouldn't have done that Hey newsflash, he shouldn't have done that. Yeah You shouldn't touch your face a lot. Maybe a little but not that much. Do you remember? This guy my name is Justin and I'm looking for gal Yeah, I love it. He's looking for a gal gal and now he has a girl Hello, my name is Justin Ryan And this is my bae and this is my bae. This is my bae. This is my bae. She's my bae He's my bae

She's a cutie boy. I'm surprised. I'm the luckiest guy in the world. Good. I'm dating Jim Jim She's my bae I love you bae This is what love island was like This is why we tapped out It really was Is she Is she touched?

Well, let's uh, see how the rest of the video goes. Jim is the best girlfriend I have ever had. So I'm lucky all my exes are bitches and she so Fuck you Fuck you bitches. This is my new bitch She looked like for a second. She's like, oh wait, what? I'm a bitch You see her eyes dark. She was like

Oh, shit, that's pretty good. Yeah, those two are terrifying. What do you mean? I just keep saying I just thought about like what it's like is wait. Hold on Is it is it allowed? Are you allowed to have sex with someone who's tick-tock? Hey, what a minor? Hello, what are you talking about? Jesus Is that against the law? I'm sure it is and it's not relevant to this. So what the fuck are you talking about? God You're in love. Yeah, I guess they're both. They're both minors. No, not minors. What are you talking about?

No, they're just different. They're not minors This episode is like fucking other level What is going on? Retarded hookups Oh my god, Jesus Christ. All right Oh, do you remember good found a gill at least he found a gill He did that's that's good that he found a gill. I wanted I wanted to see the sweet looking for a girl Remember that guy like it was an Asian dude

Australian he was like, I'm looking for a gal a girl friend To hold my hand go to the babies That guy was real sweet. I hope he got a girlfriend I hope I had yes. Yeah, he was all excited. Yes So cute. He just wanted his girlfriend. It was sweet. No Yeah, I like when I do are you happy that this guy found love? Is it a thank you patty moment? I'm good on this guy You're not happy for that. Sure. No, I'm very happy for you. Um, there's a love match. Yeah, no, that's cool, man

Good job. Yeah Good job. Good job. Good job Yeah, um, correct me if I'm wrong. You're still a big fan of the new game of throne show and you keep watching it I love it and It is so good last night. I got another episode ahead. Yep and like It's just blowing my mind and I'm so upset that nobody talked about this show for as long as It's like the best kept me too

But I think it's going to be one of those things where people are going to start giving our show credit for introducing them into that show That's pretty good. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I'm super excited um I'm starting. Yeah, I hear you're not supposed to get attached to certain characters because bad things happen No, that's pretty obvious From the start of that show Yeah, when you can fuck your sister and cut your friend open and kill a kid you probably shouldn't get attached Hey, you know

Did you watch anymore since we last spoke? No, no, but I'll watch when I get back home Okay, good. Yeah Okay, I got something pretty cool. I can act go ahead actually um Cue this up for you. I want you to pay attention To the type of thing this guy proposes Okay Yeah, it's pretty neat. Okay. Okay. I'm not interested in sluts. I'm not interested in hoes. I'm not interested in hookers

I'm not interested in drug addicts. I'm not interested in the unhealthy the unclean The unfathomably stupid anything other than the women of gen z Gen Z. Wow. Gen Z. But you know You have to know what you like that. He doesn't know what he likes gen z would be what age range. Are we talking? I'm just 20 20 year olds 13 to 20 13 to 21

How what's the do you have the information there? Yeah, they were born between 1997 and 2012 Okay So 10 year olds so yeah anywhere between literally nine And uh, what is that 25? Right roughly I don't do math you're asking me. So we'll go ahead and uh, we'll call an audible for him and say 18 to 26 um

So if you hook me up to one of those You'll earn a hundred dollars This is the truth that I have the money. I'm not doing this to flash my wealth Okay Is that a hundred dollars total there? No, those are 20s. No, there's hundreds on top and 50s on the bottom. He's got several hundred dollars Okay Okay, and then hold on

I'm not interested in any woman that would date more than one guy at a time If I don't get her phone number at the end of the dinner date or lunch date, then you don't get the hundred dollars I'm not really too interested in democrats or republicans or libertarians or the right wing You have to be a marxist That is quite The Bio line I think On a dating profile

Marxists only wait Jen first was like a gen z She can't be a slut An unfathomably stupid filthy unhygienic all these things And then he's not interested. You can't be democrat republican libertarian. Oh my gosh You got to be a marxist and he's got to get her phone number for you to get a hundred bucks Jesus man It's a lot. That's a high ask. I also think it's kind of strange to motivate people with money for marxists You know, oh, that's a really good point tom

That's a point of personal privilege. She needs to go to the socialist convention. Here's something That you might might blow you away I'm going to show you the guy's face now Okay, and he's a familiar face. We've actually had him on the show before We only had him on the show Many years ago or at least he recorded it many years ago And he's quite different. So I'll show you him now Okay, I'm ready for it

More on point this has to do with baby dna too I don't care how many times you say it's about pussy. I'm just gonna reject you wigger fucking retards And not redact anything I say I'll give you a hundred dollars if you hooked me up with an 18 to 21 year old Oh, she has to have a dinner with me. It's a mash making service. You're a freelancer now So he did clarify the age range he wanted it it was 18 to 21 I don't recognize his face though. You don't yeah, it's it's it's a it's quite different baby dna gen x seed

Gen z egg soaked in telomerates The fastest swimmers the hardest hitters sperm Is in my generation a third of our sperm Is it ring a bell yet Is he the guy that was like I I'm looking for I think I remember him wait. I think I remember one more sentence from him. Okay. Okay, and also the gen z egg It's an intergenerational generation only skipped pattern that the entire universe is in look at the stars

Look at the galaxies the comparison between those two is a generation For the stars and galaxies the stars came first and then they formed the galaxies. Do you think I'm fucking retarded? Okay, um So here's the thing this guy It is uh, he has the same cadence The speech pattern is the same, but he looks quite different. Here you go I want an adult hottie in my lap right now under 26 right now. No frills. No excuse big titties and intelligence

I don't care. She's a hood rat punk rock or any kind of anything as long as she's hot and here right now I'm my 37 year old dick right now right now right now right now right now right now right now right now That's him. That's the guy Shut the fuck right now right now right now right now. That's him. He's 37 in this video this fool wants an 18 to 21 year old or he's clearly in his In his 40s now. Yeah, get the fuck out of here, bro Well, you don't understand the space generational baby dna star skipping Star seeds five years and never having anything is everybody else gets laid the gray hair beers

Use the research on telomerase that I put it out eight months ago and then you just go with that hoe Why won't you go with me? I don't need that question answered. I need right now right now right now right now right now right now I remember right now right now right now right now right now right now right now It's the same. He has the same views. He's actually more manic back then like he Talks himself into some chaos when he explains the baby star dna shit, but he's more manic right here for sure Yes, he must I don't know about uh, I mean this is Clearly well in the original in the song that we see him rapping and right now He just said under 26. So it seems like the requirement is kind of yeah, but I'm talking about his state

His mental state like he is he's bouncing off the walls in this But I think that this is also a performance like this. He's oh really performing a song I didn't get that. No. No. I noticed halfway through that. He was rhyming. I had no idea Well, you guys get all the raw stuff so And uh, I just looks to me like he's in a manic episode here And then maybe he's just not in an episode at the other video. Mm-hmm It's still coming up with cool offers though It is nice. It's good to be specific and then you'll get what you want, you know

We need to get rid of this age phobia from chicks under the age of 26 because of telomeres research Since the father is 35 to 55 the kid will live longer have longer telomeres the intelligence more fitter We need to get rid of it like we need to get rid of incest and pedophilia. We need to get rid of it right now So he's really married to that idea still of being with a girl With that age and that the kid will thrive and and live longer If he's if he reproduces with his his age sperm with a younger girl's egg

Yeah, it's interesting how like they get stuck on an ideal like that. I understand it has to fulfill it I understand you once you think I'm fucking retarded. Yeah, I get it You get it and get it don't you fucking get it you get it It makes sense Makes sense And oh, I apologize for not blessing you sir You earned that 100% The cool guy club very cool. He's the cool. He's very cool. Yeah

There are so many cool guys today. This is the cool guy episode. It's the coolest episode in a while. It's the coolest Yeah Yeah, pretty great. Yeah, that's really something else. Thanks for shooting right now right now guy. Yeah Right now right now right now right now. I feel like this episode has been lacking in one department though In that it has not been gender inclusive. We keep featuring men And we need to feature women from time to time This is true Tom. There's cool girls out there too. Funny that you say that I found a pretty cool one right here. Would you like to see her? Yeah

What's your best number, huh? Let me have a picture of your ID, huh? You want to take pictures of somebody? Let me have a picture of you Open this goddamn gate. What the fuck is she doing? Open it. Let's go Pretty cool It's nice to see women acting up. Um, it's different. It's definitely not as common So when they happen it is special. Mm-hmm when a woman loses her shit like that. It's pretty great It's sort of like a woman acting like a man

You know How dare you see men do this kind of thing? No such thing as gender It's a social construct. I get it. Um Totally a social totally 100 percent totally, uh Totally a social thing, please do not use gendered language Had the the franticness in that man's voice. Oh, he was It's like he's been begging all day

He's like how many more times can I ask? You said he Like imagine that Like that's been in his that's stuck in his craw all day at this convention and finally he gets the mic Like it's every time they're using gender. He's just like fucking he she god damn it. Don't they know they I think the thing that's so different about like the way we handle someone like him now versus Even a few years ago is a few years ago. We would just go. Oh, this is a fragile person. Just be delicate with them

You know what I mean? Yeah, just let them Just let them do their thing. Yeah, you don't don't pay attention to them. Right We're not gonna listen to them Right like they don't get a reasonable. Oh, no, of course not Out of their god damn mind Right, but now we give the microphones and we're like, what's that sweet? You got an idea? That's a really good point. You should fucking do this instead of clap. Yeah I know it's so bizarre the world is like validating these mentally ill people

It's really like, yeah, you want to lead some stuff go ahead run from air She uh that whatever she pulled that thing up herself the Which I'm assuming was put out by the state like that is that looks like That's officially put out and you can hear the guy going. That's a felony Yeah, I bet you it is too I know How many times have you wanted to drive through one of those like every time every time I would Like is there someone out there that would just let us drive through?

Do you have a thing? What is that called even? I don't know. What is that? A roadblock? Yeah I've wanted to smet there's kind of a funny one though. It's on the side of a road Right that you can yeah, I haven't seen it like that. That is different Very different different different Different. Yeah, I'd love to smash through one of those. I've always wanted to run over cones to

Um, I've always wanted to hit a someone on their bicycle. That would have been so fun I hate bicyclists in the road And joggers in the road Yep, that's a felony right there. Oh, that's a felony. Yeah, you think I ain't been a prisoner Why are you holding us like that back up the pilot car's coming? I don't want no problems with you I know who's coming because you're a goddamn cop I'm calling. They got fucking scared of you. You're fucking kidding me. Here's the fucking pilot car. Good! Back up. These people have been holding us here because she's pissed off because she can't fuck me

You know, I will say in her defense she is wearing a supportive bra, which usually these types don't I And I'm proud of her Usually these psychos don't even wear a bra. So I'm I'm impressed Look at them. They're they're standing still. They're good That was uh, yeah She looks good. There were so many things to dissect

from that clip It's math number one when somebody goes you think I haven't been to prison before Yeah Yeah It is usually time for you to get to stepping like that's you just go like you win you When you're like that's a crime and someone's like you don't think I've committed crimes before

All right, right. You're like, oh my bad Man, she's barefoot on the road Wow, she's coming with super aggressive energy Towards a man Right. That's that's towards a guy She thought he was the whole time. He's like, I don't any problems. Like he's so scared of her Which I would be too. I'd be like, oh my god, this chick has been in she's been in absolute brawls before You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, and she's probably high on uh, pcp. She's got like that weird

Oh, look at her shirt crazy sisters Make the best what ants What is it? What's the last word? I'm sure it's crazy sisters make the best. I can't read it. Can you read it? I can't read it, but I think you might be right. I think it says ants nice It's cool that she's wearing something that's like i'm crazy

Yeah, and then she's like backing up her shirt her stupid fucking wallgreens shirt Oh god, damn. Look at this. Yep. That's a felony right there. Oh, that's a felony. Yeah, you think I ain't been a prisoner Why are you holding us like that back up the pilot car's coming? I don't want no problems with you. I know who's coming because you're a goddamn cop Think I'm fucking scared of you You're fucking kidding me. Here's the fucking pilot car. Good Whoo Back up these people have been holding us here because she's pissed off

Back up. She can't fuck me She has her teeth. It's not mad. She has all her teeth, but she talks like she doesn't have teeth, which is kind of interesting Yeah, you're right. It's a really unique combo The underbite she said she's mad that she can't fuck me. I don't know who she's talking about I think the parking attendant might be female Oh, that's the person the person filming. Yeah Oh, okay, and I and although she does have all of her teeth I will say that a lot of them do look very chipped

Very chipped Okay They hold the whole lineup Because I'm a drunk bitch and I was a smart ass and they hold that whole fucking lineup Yeah, that is dope Please Wow Wow, that's math. That's definitely math. No, she's drunk

Oh, she's a drunk bitch is what she said. I believe it. Yeah, I believe she's telling the truth I believe I think she's absolutely shitfaced right now That's what prompts you to do things like that when you somebody goes, oh that person was drunk You're like, oh, that makes sense like I've seen that at a comedy club Oh, yeah, good times every friday late show. Yeah You know, it's so upsetting. I like that the construction guy was like, yeah You liked it

Yeah, I bet what's so upsetting like you probably get into law enforcement because you're like, I want to help the world I want to clean up the streets and then and then you realize like your job is just dealing with crazy people like that probably All day, right? Like isn't that like I've done I've done three ride-alongs in my life Um, where you sit in a police car and you just go on calls with them I did one in north carolina. I did one in hollywood with la pd. I did one in tokoma and they all Say that the majority and I experienced it like we went on calls The majority of their time is spent on domestics

And mentally ill people That's that's like the majority of their work And you see like the kind of defeated look sometimes like you're talking about where you're like What are you doing? They're like, I'm gonna pick up this guy who is standing naked in front of someone's like business Right in front of the driveway so people can't pull in and I'm gonna drive him to the hospital And then tomorrow I'll get a call about him somewhere else This is a little different. I mean, this is yeah, this is a

An inebriated person, which is like a lot of the cost and it's like, yeah So cops gonna be like, what are you doing? Well, we're sitting here lying up. We're keeping those fucking waiting and they'll be like, okay Are you drinking? What are you doing? I'm a drunk bitch Okay, I know those poor people and like because my mother she worked for a psychiatrist when I was a child And I remember there's a thing called the pet team and she would always be like Yeah, the pet team is going to pick up a patient so and so and I'm like, what is that? And it's a special team that goes to pick up people that are naked running down Ventura Boulevard at two in the morning

I think it's just for like the severely mentally ill maybe but I'm thinking like maybe we should Branch off the police department. Like maybe they should just have a mentally ill division. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like just with straight jackets and then Yeah, and not come at them with batons and Yeah, like just something that meets the needs of what's no, I know I know lucky. It's it's not an easy Thing to get into but I'm happy That oh, I'm not blaming the police

No, no, I'm just saying that I'm happy that some of these things are recorded Because they make it on this podcast and that's what it really makes it all worth it. That's the fun. That's true That's true. That's the best part That's the best part if you're going to engage in this type of behavior hit record And then send it to us. Yeah, your mom's podcast at gmail.com Man Streets is wild tom. They really are they really are wild out there. They really are Yeah, god damn it people are fucking out of their minds. How much of the population do you think is just crazy?

Well, what to what degree How many people in the world are just running around like that lady? Oh man significant Because you're asking like how many people are how many people are alcoholics and drug addicts. Is there like a personal statistic on that? That's interesting Every family has them. So yeah, it's got to be a significant Yeah, my immediate family alcohol mental illness I mean, I don't think anybody yelled at the cops, but Jesus Christ Globally a hundred and seven million people are estimated to have an alcohol

use disorder The breakdown can be viewed by gender I hate when they do that Do better It's a lot though Damn. Yeah, it's wild Yeah, it's a lot 100 million people

Damn, it's like the amount of people going to see Garth Brooks this year Yeah No lie. Is he the is he the best selling act in show business? Yes. Yes. He is literally the top He's the top of the top the only reason that His numbers aren't higher Is because he's deciding

Not to do more shows He could break he goes shatter. He might already have he could shatter every ticket selling Record for sure, you know, Tom, you know what we have to do, right? You know what we have to do We have to see Garth Brooks live. I think we do too. I think we do too I think we have to and it's a ymh exclusive And we need to go and just video us watching and we need to see what all the hubbub is about And see if he'll give us the bodies and see if he'll acknowledge you

Finally and give you permission to comment on his instagram Instagram posts What if he did this whole like hey, man? All right, and and did like a meet and greet and then the cameras went off and he was like You don't think I know what this shit's all about I'm fucking stupid or something. I think I'm some hillbilly Fuckhead He's like, yeah, christina very funny Chris Gaines was very important to me. I love that fucking character. Yeah

You're not you're not getting your fucking grandmother back. How about that? I listen to hi buddy swap up Well, but I listened to your mom's house every episode Guys are fucking assholes. Trisha's not up my instagrams. All right I Miss yearwood miss yearwood. Oh miss yearwood

Um, I am so in love with my wife. Oh god Miss treasure year You know the way she smells and she's like, what does that mean the way she smells? What was such a lovely thing to say she smells like anything's possible Oh And also too like don't you find and this is interesting because it is a parallel to you and I somewhat That like clearly garth is the star of that couple, right? Like trisha like she's got her thing going much like I do

But really in our couplehood you're the bigger act. You're the bigger star and I think the thing that Is gross what garth does is I feel like he panders to trish like he panders to her level of success a lot like Well, you know, I'm her miss trisha yearwood saying it's like don't don't do that. Yeah I mean, I could ask about you. I'm like, oh she passed away and they're like I'm like, oh, yeah, you never say anything nice You would never say anything complimentary But that's the difference but we're comedians and they're country

You know, I mean that country shit. They love that Oh, that's right. Those wholesome folks are like, you see how he just lifts her up You know, but we're comedians They fall for that shit. Yeah People are falling for this shit. I took her by her hair and I threw her down the stairs, man Yeah, that's true You know But that's why and then there's people that like that wholesome shit and then there's people like us

I But but the people I mean They're just buying. I don't know. I guess I don't understand the attraction to that horseshit act where you're like you guys buy this fucking nonsense. Yeah I mean even okay, look and this is sacrilegious to say but I don't give a shit even dolly who I fucking love I think there's no greater talent than dolly fucking part parton. She's she's a hero. She's a fucking saint I I I love her Sometimes I listen to her and I'm like you're you're not telling the truth. She's like, you know, I grew up Poors can be in a cabin in Tennessee

And I didn't have but a rag to eat at Christmas But it was the happiest childhood in my life. Like no, it wasn't there's no fucking way That you grew up dirt poor with 10 brothers and sisters and you did some creepy uncle who probably tried to molest you You know what I mean? Like she romanticizes Yeah, this background her rocky mountain whatever upbringing and I'm like I see your storyteller But I'm like just fucking, you know talk about how it sucked Yeah, like tell me the truth. Like well, I had a creepy uncle once but see that that falls into That falls into that space

And ultimately we're all selling a product even when you're an entertainer, right? So people come to different entertainers for different like a different thing, right? You're attracted to yeah You're trying and I think in that country music world. It's all about Telling stories like that and it's all about, you know, I'm just happy to be here. I'm happy with y'all and and people Who are going for that entertainment? Enjoy that. They enjoy getting that back even within comedies. Sometimes I've talked about this people pick different comedians for different like

Somebody that goes and sees Burt for instance. They want The party they want the fantasy like his fantastical stories You know, yes, like he tells these stories. You're like that happened. He's like who cares He fucking sounds better like they want that they go see bill burr. They want The rant they want to hear the rage, you know, you're going to that you're going to consume a certain type of thing That's true. I think I like the truth tellers. I'm very I'm always attracted to the truth teller I can't I can't stand the the falseness and I think that I think that chris gains was his attempt at telling the truth

I think that's as close as garth got And then he was vastly shamed for it being unsuccessful and then I think he became even more of this Peaches and cream identity You know what I'm saying like he's like I tried telling y'all the truth. I tried being dark Fuck you. Here you go assholes. I got friends And then he went back Right Yeah

I tried being honest Fuck all y'all Stop writing touched my camera through the fucking fence. What does that even mean? Four strokes What the fuck are wasps? I don't even know what that is. I'm fucking 55 You don't think I know what a goddamn banana split is of course. I know what a banana split is the fuck are you asking me that for? I've been eating banana splits my whole goddamn life Everybody's at all dead, you know what a banana split? Yes

God damn it. Wouldn't it be great if you're just sitting home watching this just stewing shaking his head So fucking sick of this shit, man If I answer them then I dignify them with a response. I won't do that Trish not doing it. Y'all know what's a banana split Trish is like now garth You gotta take the high road on this. Oh, yeah, they had they sit up at night and she drinks her tea and he's like No, no, no, look at my fucking page. It's all comments of this bullshit Look at my page. Look at this shit

I'm the biggest selling act in the world and they're asking me if I drink sparkling water. What the fuck? Because you know at the end of the day, he's just a he's a there's a couple like us, you know Like they lay in bed together. He farts and she's like you're disgusting garf You animal and every and maybe how much would it bother him if she's like your comments are fucking wild He's like shut the fuck up. He's like you think I don't know that woman What do you think he talks to her like behind closed doors? What do you think that's like that darkness? He's got to snap at her because remember when he's like, is that supposed to happen? Like we saw a glimpse

Of that. Do you think he he farts in front of trisha? Um, you think garth farts in front of trish I don't know man. I don't know Nice bullshit. I don't think so. I mean the queen you think he's gonna fart in front of a queen Man, you think they talk about their dumps like we do to each No No, you're ready for this y'all ready for this I'm so excited to see what we're gonna watch. It's my favorite. You ready? It's my favorite

Yeah, my god These are your your curations. Okay, literally they're like mine He's fucking nibbling on a dick I Okay Thank you That's why I got that one in there because I just wanted you to be upset. I like when you get mad at crazies I love crazies. I'm so excited because I saw the name on the next clip

Every time this guy pops up I get ear to ear smile All right, here we go Winter is coming No more hot girl summer. No more twerking once you're over 35 or 40 years old. What do you have? You got bad knees bunions and type one diabetes He's the greatest heaven samuels is amazing I this dude is There's like there's talent like like there's straight talk and then there's this guy where he's like you ain't shit

Okay, how much you weigh and they're like, I don't want to say he's like click and that's that I ain't got time for your fat ass You should pursue excellence. Yeah, he's like and you're over 35. You think an elite man wants you? Why would a man want you? No one wants you How much do we know what he wants you to be at? Like what's the right way? He just believes in I mean, I haven't done a deep deep dive, but he believes in being fit He's like a high-achieve because it's women. He's like you want a high achieving man, right?

Like a man. Yes who earns a certain level of income Several hundred thousand dollars a year or more And he's like that man has options So if you're trying to pursue that man and you're coming with back like he's like when a woman's like i'm divorced I have three kids and i'm overweight. He's like who the fuck wants you? Like that guy can can you know, he's like if you're gonna be Divorced with kids. He's like be fit He's like so you have something that you're that the man wants

Right, you know, I mean, yeah, because he's like you're at a deficit because you're older your fatter You've got kids from other men. Yeah, I may not be into that. Yeah, and it's honestly a lot of people think it's like It's harsh and and like crude, you know to hear it directly, but he's like He's not wrong. You know, he's not wrong. Of course Of course not. I mean, nobody wants to date pigs. You know chicks only I think about cobertate so much. Howdy's the pod ymh studios coming Uh, I think about cobertate all the time when he's like I only drink sparkling water because it's more expensive

Oh my gosh, so two coffees in the morning. I drink one and the other one sits there He's the best I'm proud to say I stink. I'm proud to say I smell. I'm proud to say I don't take showers. I'm proud to say I don't own a bar. So I'm proud to say my breakfast. I'm proud to say I don't own toothpaste I'm proud to say I don't own a toothbrush. I'm proud to say I don't want my ass after that shit I don't own toilet paper Okay If I were kevin samuels, I'd be like

Decline, I'm gonna not deal with your crazy ass crazy fat ass So this man's also been featured on the talks. He's he's got a lot of moles under his armpits and There's videos of him licking his own armpits Um, yeah, and now he's proud of his lack of hygiene and that he smells So well, we live in an era where everybody needs to be proud of themselves I understand. I'm proud that I smell to a degree. Someone's like that. You know, that's my odor and you're like, okay Yeah, when he starts to go, I don't shower and you're like, hmm. I don't own a bar soap. You're like, wait a minute. What?

I'm proud that I don't brush my teeth and you're like, okay And then he goes, I don't wipe my ass after I shit and that's where I'm like, and then I'm out. I'm out It's good to talk to you, man I Do you read it for the audience? Yeah, sorry, um, she said that human meat tastes very sweet The skin doesn't taste good, but the meat underneath is very sweet So this seems like she's like from one of those, uh Kind of uninhabited islands that still practices cannibalism. That's what it sort of seems like

kind of scary That's interesting. I I didn't know that human meat tasted sweet. I wouldn't um, that might be her particular review on the subject Okay, you know because I would have gone. I've heard that squirrel tastes greasy I would have put human meat as greasy, you know, especially americans. Very fat Well, there's not that many people that can weigh in on that. You know more people have probably eaten squirrels than humans. Yeah That's true. There's not like a lot of forums where they're like, actually humans taste pretty sour, you know

Would you sh bits is bits is upset schnitzel? Tom Sh President don't you have like a book you could throw it or something? No, she's just listening and if I don't if I don't let her in then she'll be at the door all the time Um, listen to me. Just hear me out. Okay There's this new restaurant in Beverly Hills And you can buy just a cube of human meat

It's like wagyu human and you get to just like that story where you get to see like the story of the beef You get to have the story of the person. They were in good shape Like you get you get their whole history. Would you go there? Would you eat a cannibal the restaurant? No, I'm not interested Okay, but here okay, what if it's prisoners like they're gonna die anyway, but wait hold on a second I'm not interested Well, what's the hold up the ethical part No, I don't want to take the ethical

But why not and it why it's just me What's the difference and especially if they're bad people You're not there's no ethical dilemma if they're already dead they're on death row or whatever They're rapist child molesters. What if there's a restaurant where you could eat child molesters? I think it's a win-win you could feed the homeless I'll tell you what I'd sign up for You get to shoot a child molester That'll be

I would go there and be like, all right, I'll shoot them. You can eat them, but I'll shoot them Wait, this is an interesting idea So we hunt them and then you can serve them in a restaurant in la and you can feed people They want to eat the child molesters I'd like you know, it would be a fun like restaurant to go to Where the like the person let's say the child molester doesn't know what is going to happen And they they seat him somewhere and they're like, hey, are you just gonna have dinner? He's like, oh, he has no idea

that like 20 feet above him is like a 500 pound safe That's hanging on a ledge. He used to go up and push it. It just like yeah drops on his head and then everybody Know like was what in the restaurant was waiting for and they're like that was fucking awesome Yeah, I think I think his body and they throw him out in the alley And they bring somebody else to sit in his seat Wait, but then the dogs get to eat him like wild dogs. Sure. Who cares everybody can piss on them

They throw him in the bathroom. You get to piss and shit on them Who cares? I like this idea of Like letting us see people dying. I don't know why we stopped all that. Yeah. Oh, hello son. You can't pee in here You are what are you gonna do? What Great, well, listen mommy's still working. Could you me a favor, baby? Can you go potty and then I'll come down and come down right after okay?

And I'll come watch with you guys. They're watching some pac-man Sorry, he's pissing in our bathroom right now. I understand Your son. Yeah Just what pac-man? Is he pissing right now? Yeah, you done buddy. Don't forget to close the door. Can you close the door, please? Thanks, sweetie What is it with a kid can never close a door? Everything he walks out of I'm like, hey man the door

Never do that or these they slam it so hard that it falls off the hinges and that's the three-year-old He slams everything shut everything. He's like a full body. Wham, and you're like god damn He closes the microwave like that. He's like Wham, I'm like dude Everything's falling off hinges everything speaking of food. I've been eating butter every day for six years now As soon as I wake up I eat butter I can't fall asleep unless I eat two cups of butter before bed. Oh my god I'm gonna fucking puke. You're lucky. You're not hearing it. My eyes are tearing up

Why fucking square? Oh, what's wrong with you? You don't want to you don't want butter you don't like butter I'm just I'm gonna move on to the next one. God damn Just a huge Just a I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're ugly and that's okay. You know, it's not your fault So don't feel bad Your parents saw each other and they knew they're both ugly and they still chose to have kids. That's not on you That's that's on them

You know, I liked about this the misdirect Everything I thought it was gonna be I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're beautiful. You know, yeah People do that bullshit. I hate that shit and this guy was like, no, you're ugly. I love it And it's not your fault your parents are ugly and they knew it when they still had kids. That was so great Yeah That's a good one, right? I don't know what I'm not looking for is uh some big Overgrown monster that's always thinking about food and who so?

Binds to himself a joy Doth its winged life destroy Um, I like to uh do a lot of sailing. I like to outdoor activities and like climbing and like travel I took a sponge ball and was pulling him out of a little girl's ear vivacious Foxy I'm looking for the goddess. Are you the goddess? Who is the goddess? The goddess is the woman is a woman is any woman

Is all women a figure that is sexy slim tight excellent legs I'm a 25 year subscriber to both playboy and a new yorker magazine At night I operate a damsel in distress hotline. I guess you'd call me a night Very cool That was a compilation of dating profile videos from the 80s that was rad I could watch that for hours Hours because it's interesting how people were not savvy about being on social media or how to present themselves very authentic So, yeah, you got the guys. This is how guys think. I don't think it's changed a whole lot since back then

Hot skinny Look good. Like heaven samuels says Yeah Fit. Are you fit? Are you fit? Yeah Everybody gives a fuck about your career lady. No one cares. Nobody has a fuck Men do not give a fuck. I've only ever heard one man ever be like she has to make she has to be rich. I'd like if she were rich

That's a weird I don't give a shit about oh when guys are like I need her to be really wealthy I'll tell you who it is off mic Really to be surprised. Yes Okay You're gonna like I got news for you You go to the tick tock Help center Okay, underneath community guidelines

It says Copy right in fragmenting That means you have to have that person's permission to do what you are doing to their videos Man, he actually misspelled every word He wrote breaking spelled b r a k i n new instead of news Copy right misspelled an infringement in

In fragment instead of infringement Yeah I think he's upset that somebody's been posting his videos Yeah, he thinks that you shouldn't be able to duet or stitch. Yeah. Well, we we just we just copy wrote in fragment in his video right here Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah I don't think he can write us a letter though to let us know so i'm not too worried about that Waspis he's friends with waspis guy In fragmented and waspis

Copy write in copy write in fragmentations Watch for wasps Wasps and fragmentation that shirt is so fire by the way the uh, of course So watch for wasps All right, here's the uh waspis Good morning tiktok. Happy thursday. Hope everyone had a great night last night ready for a great day today Hope for today is oh

Happiness is an attitude We either make ourselves miserable Or happy and strong The amount of work is the same carlos casanero so It has been tough You know, we can keep being miserable every day, but we got to keep strong and be positive that tomorrow's gonna be a better day Everyone be be blessed. Have a great day. Make it exciting. Whatever you do today

And be productive. Have a good one. Bye. You know, that's great I feel like if I may say so this guy seems to be just doing exactly what chris larson does. He's just copying his son I know I know Is it clearly chris's lane and then all of a sudden this guy's doing it Well, is it time for his monthly post? Oh, it's it's overdue. Yeah What the fuck chris? Well, we'll get him on. He's not in here right now, but we'll get him I'll talk to him. I'll give him a talking to if you know what I mean

Everybody wants to know what day of the week it is and went to expect this week chris What I do like that his work the the tiktokers work has grown because now he's reading us quotes So he he is developing as a tiktoker His his um talents now. It's a nice smile at the end too. He smiled really nice. Have a nice day You want Have a nice day. All right gene. It was fun gene. I love you mommy. We did a zoomcast We don't normally do But uh, it was a good time

It was and tom I'd like you to have a good afternoon and a good night and then tomorrow have a good day Thanks I'm gonna hope the weather's nice and that you have a nice flight home and that you eat nice good food Thank you for that as well Got it. Um I hope that you have a good rest of your day Thanks, tom Everything goes well and you have a nice dinner

Thanks, tom. My lunch was very bad. So I'd like a good good dinner. Oh, that's right. I hope you I hope that gets resolved Um, all right, we're gonna go. Thank you guys for watching. The closing song is not a game by andrew The outsider we will see you next week My baby Oh You