Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 627 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: October 27, 2021

Chips In A Bowl Announcement! Christina P. is recording her Netflix special in NYC Jan. 22! Use code JEANS to get tickets before they're gone! 1/22 @ 7pm: https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/00005B56D2077537 1/22 @ 10pm: https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/00005B56D2087539 SPONSORS: - Go to https://ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top, and enter in YMH, to get a 60-day free trial, just in time for the holidays! - Go to https://saatva.com/theshit for $200 off your order - Get 25% off, up to $10 value, and zero delivery fees on your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter code YMH. - Go to https://brooklinen.com and use promo code house to get $20 off, with a minimum purchase of $100 - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “MOM” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Get 20% off and free shipping by going to https://manscaped.com/MOM. - Download the DraftKings app NOW and use promo code MOM to get a FREE shot at MILLIONS in total prizes with your first deposit! Use your one glove to pull those jeans all the way over your head! This week on your Mom's House Podcast with Christina P. and #GloveComic Tom Segura, we test Christina's fear of vomit a bit more, which leads to her retaliating with one of her instant-classic TikToks! This then leads to a VERY heated debate how this cool guy is making some certain sounds. We get a wild update on Studio G's comment section, the "Don't Call Me Daddy" guy apparently doesn't like other things, and we dive into Burnt Crystal's puzzling deep love for himself! We find one of Tom's doppelgangers talking about Aegosexuality, a lady in a dope M&M jacket calling out a dude on the street, and over inclusiveness on playgrounds. Also, Tom is learning that he's actually starting to like Las Vegas! Maybe the key is to not be there for 6 nights in a row? We watch footage Ryan Sickler almost ruin a VERY nice racing car! And of course, we review all your club banger remixes of Cutter The Killer Clown's vocal track! We then wrap up with a batch of Christina's Toks that are definitely more uplifting than last week's batch!

would you be honest about something it doesn't turn me on in the lease and i know what your fucking question is i'm not saying if it turns you on would you be interested in him going down on you no that must be either that can i ask you now okay okay do you think he's good at eating okay oh my fucking god come on oh

oh oh it's sexy there we are that anything that makes a vibe better than that that's a real vibe right there you know i was putting on my makeup this morning and i was singing jeans in my cunt yeah because it's just it's such an iconic ymh song do you remember the video that it's from no you don't no i do it was from an adult film no wait a minute this isn't harry potter and the sorcerer stone but it was here's what was unique they um it was a woman and she had i don't know what it's called when your head and your arms are through like a wooden oh yes the

medieval torture yeah yeah that's called stocks stocks um she was in that and then the guy was railing her from behind and then that was her that's that was what she improvised as it was happening yeah and then they did like a little interview afterwards and they were like it was a really interesting fun time yeah the the interview always strikes me as an odd choice why the interview they love to do that like i just had a lot of fun i had a lot of fun it was very uh you know liberating to let myself go like that that's the thing is that nobody's gonna tell the truth in these interviews i don't think so much like in the sports scene you know the coaches can't really be like i hate these motherfuckers you know what we're about here the truth

yeah you just put your glove on them i did damn my one glove your one glove no i'm yeah one glove only what are you feeling with this glove oh i feel like i finally am who i've always been oh you're transitioning to the glove guy well that's already happened but i'm saying it's good to feel like centered you know yeah so what does this glove say about you today what have you brought to the table just you know i'm not dropping anything what kind of glove is this this is a receiver glove for foosball yeah and it also has a techie feature you can push you button on yeah because receivers are modern players you know they have phones and stuff that's a good point why does the receiver glove need the ability to check their

text messages because they're on their phones during warm-ups you know i mean you gotta be able to change songs while you're warming up oh that makes sense that that makes sense but look let's get to the freaking the big news it's sexy this is a ymh exclusive oh my gosh you guys i am listen doesn't happen all the time this is a huge announcement this is bigger than discovering that boneless chicken wings aren't just the tiny bones being taken out of the wings and then the reconstituted it's bigger than that it's bigger than i gotta do you why baby better than bigger than DUI it's bigger than realizing that aj stand stood stands for anthony junior right i almost forgot it just now as i said it yep last year i came out as bisexual yeah this year i'm pleased

to announce that i'm polyamorous and i'm so fucking pumped i'm not only a rap star this year i've become a famous rap star very very famous rapper i will be recording another stand-up special with netflix hey praise Allah yep it is set to record january 22nd in the great city known as jew dork titties fantastic the greatest american city a triumph january 22nd there will be two shows 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. tickets go on on stale on stale today 10 a.m. eastern time promo code jeans you get that ticket jeans put that in there get those tickets get the ticket now this is they're gonna go so fast it's very special you come into taping you see how the sausage is made you see me flub jokes and then i retake them i've learned to do that you see

toilets flushing which happened in my first special i almost got crushed by a door on the taping of my second special a lot of cool stuff lots of cool stuff happens that you have an opportunity to be there like in the moment when christina records touching my camera through the it's pretty amazing you could be there for that that's the well first of all you're not even saying the whole title which is a setting i i i okay i opted for the why are you doing that why are you stifling my creativity it is your creativity and if that's what you want to be called i think you should call it that but i also feel like you should be comfortable enough to say your full title i can't say it okay touch my camera through the fence comma you i said it okay

okay i'm not ashamed of what i would i put out there i'm brave you know what i'm pushing back against uh woke i don't care i'm doing oh that's woke now yeah okay no i don't know i'm just so nadev is typing into the screen yeah i think i think he has your better interests okay well edit this part out edit this part out so we you know uh agent jeans is going back and forth to netflix with titles uh has he played has he pitched them touch well f gt r t d oh what do they think of that flat no flat now yeah but he's working on touch my camera through the fence and you know i'm like pushing on him heavy i'm like for that you you got to come home

become correct it's touch my camera through the fence or fucking nothing you realize that that that title is pitched to one of the like one of the biggest executives yeah who then has a conversation with other executives that's the best part and they go touch my camera and for sure somebody's like oh like is that about perspective like pov like she's saying like don't like look through my into my house from your yard and he's gonna be like i i don't i don't know i think it has to do with a meth head walking out business or the security guard just doing his job yeah they'll be like what yeah well i'm open to other titles daddy lalagon i'm also kicking that one around madagone mm-hmm don't call me daddy that is an interesting title yeah

don't call me daddy yeah stop calling me daddy yeah i actually like don't call me dad yeah i may have to write that one don't call me daddy come your mommy yeah i'm your mommy i was thinking i'm just calling it mommy and you don't you don't like that one my youngest um don't call me daddy don't come today it was like you're not daddy i was like okay he goes you're mr poop and i was like mr all right he has different names every day every day today he's mr hot sauce mr hot sauce yeah it's pretty great yesterday he was mr parking lot yeah like hey julien he goes don't call me julien i go what's your name he goes mr parking lot i was like all right yeah it's like it's like three year olds are on acid all the time yeah and

then when the day before he was mr robot then he's mr dog then he was alexa which i was like alexa was funny yeah that was pretty funny but i was like he's like i'm alexa i was like okay hey alexa and then alexa's like yes and then he's like i say yes i'm alexa okay but then i went out in public with him and for the entire weekend he was alexa so i had to be like i'd be like julien he's like it's not julien it's alexa and i'd at the park i'd be like alexa come here yeah you know what i'm saying yeah uh all right let's open the show let's open the show i'm so stoked and i'm just so yeah i'm so proud of you fucking it's exciting you know it's a big deal to get a special you're getting on the biggest platform in the world for entertainment it's amazing and you're doing it in

the big fucking orange they call it uh the big orange right yep the big fruit bowl spicy orange the spicy orange the man the the the mandarin tiger the mandarin of it all yep where they say you want to the big kiwi never sleeps right if you can make it somewhere else do it do it there and then come here afterwards yeah we're we can only have that many people yeah so but uh but also you know what's interesting about this hour before we open the show is that i was slated to film this right as the pandy started yes actually so i had this whole hour cooked baked talked ready to rock and then the pandy happened and you know what i stayed home for a year like everybody else and it changed me as a human and then the hour completely got better and different now i won't

be talking about the pandemic at all in my stand-up or politics none of that stuff but it changed i think it changed everybody and and i'm i'm thankful that that happened because this hour is way better way way better i would say than the um the last one good way deeper you know what i'm saying yeah you know what i'm saying you feel back layers onions layers better jokes you okay yeah you want heroin sometimes you're doing this thing where you're like you're like kind of nodding what is that drugs you're right i do drugs what i snort i fucking drugs i shoot up drugs you taking heroin yeah i take heroin you're injecting it yeah where between my toes so nobody sees the fucking marks that's neat yeah i think i would like yeah sorry go ahead let's go let's

fucking do this hey lord great outfit how was your meeting it's good and i have another one so don't start well i hope you don't puke out in your outfit when i do this oh my gosh stop one more one more for the kids no oh great that was great great do you get uh i don't like it that was so great we're gonna watch it again i don't want to

watch it you missed it so that was so great did you get it see you you missed it because of the sound yeah i don't like that sound i know but don't you get it but you don't get what he's doing god i don't get what he's doing i don't like it so he he has no he knows obviously this person and he knows that if he goes i don't like it she can't help but to do it okay i really don't like this sketch i don't like this at all what it's making me feel sick there's no vomiting yeah but i feel it in my throat when you do it i i feel it too i'm like

her i don't like this you're taking your headphones out touch my camera through the fence i'm fucking done i don't like it i don't like this oh shit what is wrong with you you think i like this no i don't think it was really funny do you not know me how many years have you been together um long time what part of you 17 years is that how long we've been a couple i don't know babe you think this is gonna make me lol well it was because it's not funny but he's fucking with her that's why it's funny i know he's fucking with her and she can't stop i don't like it she has an impulse i understand so that if she hears it she has to do it too you know why are you doing that i get it man i still you understand i have a sensitivity to the sound i don't like the sound

it's never gonna make me lol i thought you were over it i'm trying but i'm not quite why don't you're over it just be over it i can't i'm trying you ready let me use the power of the glove you're over it hey nidave can you play just as a nice retort to to this play the video nidave that i brought in today this one's for you since you opened on this cool thing i want to show you something cool too i should be the only one who gets all the cool stuff okay that's not all i believe it's longer than that no well that's it well listen i want you to listen listen to the audio see if you can pick up what i got you should explain to the listeners what

they're you explain it okay there's a really attractive man to kind of sitting slouching laying down looks like he's in a hotel room or something and he's looking at his own face not doing anything for a moment for a long time yeah and on tiktok like you're like what are you doing you only get 15 or 30 seconds yeah and then his tongue slowly comes out and then he he's he can really use his tongue it moves around it's beautiful it's fat but but i want you to listen this time and i've turned up the audio so my husband can hear what i hear uh

what's the other sound that's him though sounds like it's somebody else making that sound no babe that that's this is this is like man use his lung infection his instrument this is very similar really babe it's his lungs how is that him though it doesn't make sense that that's his sound it's his it's his lungs it sounds like it's a person filming that's so turned on they're like like they're they're all worked up by by what he's doing he's also toothless will you make will you be honest about something it doesn't turn me on in the least and i know what your fucking question is i'm not saying if it turns you on would you be interested in him going down on you no that's either that can i ask you now

okay did you think he's good at eating okay i knew it i knew it's something to no i don't think he is why do you think he's good at it because he can't breathe at the same time it's obvious but do anything his skill set is probably pretty i don't fucking care like you're not gonna masturbate to this later seriously see i think the fundamental difference between us is that i can't separate someone's body part from their body i can separate it you can because you're different i mean i i'm like you i i also feel like i you know i'd like to value the whole person i'm just saying that don't you think he's skilled at right but i can't be i can't even go there and be turned on and think about his skills because the whole package is so whack i can't even

divorce a nice guy do these a nice guy i don't know he doesn't seem like he's nice do nice guys do videos like this on the talk baby he fucking straight up he stares at the camera for so long and then because i first saw this and i was like what where's this going how many women what's gonna reply the way he wants her to reply what something like this there's one yeah there's gotta be there's one there's always like there's a big oh i'd like to see what that tongue can right show me what that mouth but she's probably not well adjusted no probably a hundred percent not well not well she's got special issues too on the talk yeah there's someone for everybody he's gonna find it but i mean i had i had no idea was gonna go this way yeah when i saw this talk

i thought okay he's gonna make a silly face and then it turned into that let's see it again yeah see he brings you in that sounds not coming from him yes it is it's not from his chest it's not it's not you can tell by the way that he's breathing and like how he's moving that that's not coming from him so where is it coming from it's either like an audio drop that's been put in there or it's coming from somebody else in the room guys booth boys i will say it does sound like it's on a loop it's not from him so if it's from him it's like recorded and played but why would you put wheezing sounds into a philly why would you do any of this i think it's interesting that his mouth when his

mouth opens that his wheezing does change so it does seem like it's kind of guys it's a logical wait hold on tom thinks that this man is technologically savvy i'm just saying that what we're hearing to what we're hearing what we're hearing is not what you're saying it is it is not him he's not doing this in your hearing you can tell he's not breathing like that listen to it it is not what his mouth is closed and you hear it yes and then when he opens the mouth it does get louder go ahead listen to that wheeze it's crackling you could tell that to make that noise you would see his his chest move or even in his he's not doing anything he's just okay so that breathing is not lining up with what you're seeing

okay well so you don't see that like you don't see that i think it's coming from his chest this is a weed how can you not make that association how can it's so obvious that that what like i'm just saying like i said i legit you're you're so upset with me because it's so obvious i'm like i feel like i'm teaching math to like a fucking first grader like you don't know he's wheezing and that what about okay what about man uses uses lung infection as instrument that you he right exactly like that's how that we have audio of that guy just like breathing so we can compare and contrast compare dr true ask the doctor well as the doctor we'll see we'll fucking see i think you also hear uh in defense of tom is that it kind of sounds layered is that once this guy opens

his mouth you still hear the other stuff on top of his breathing yeah it's not what you're what you're hearing is is clearly not from him okay but i'm saying like you don't see that no i think he has no teeth so that's a sign of poor health i don't think he looks very good i think he looks great first of all this guy has severe emotional and lung problem but hey play we'll play it for dr drew we'll see what he says i can't believe how mad you get because it's so scared of you right why are you scared gosh you're like you don't see that you stupid cunt you dumb bitch and and see for years i've been joking like that with you where i go like you dummy you fucking dumb because it's so obvious it's so obvious and the listeners the listeners will always chime in on this you know

that you know that glove has gone to your head suddenly you're this expert on everything on pulmonary problems and wait at least do this at least do this okay i'll do this i'll do this okay i'll accept accept that i could be wrong about that and how about an honest poll from the booth and i'm gonna be saying yes maybe i'm wrong what do you guys think uh i think uh i mean well i already said my opinion you know i think it's layered i think it's i think it's not coming from him okay okay so sorry so you think he hold on you think that he pulled let's just let this man put audio of something we don't know that he uploaded the video what's the audio of it so what's the audio but the i'm saying we don't know that he's the person

that's uploading this even i understood i i i'm trying to take this into consideration okay open-minded what is the audio of it's from when he jerks off i don't know i don't know what it's from i'm trying to say that i mean we're having such an important debate it isn't important this is like this is man this is important what do you think this show's about but i just you're very heated and it's like i'm i'm not very heated i'm just trying to like okay are we still pulling the room what's what do the other guys think uh i mean i i really like my job you know yeah he's terrified right now and he's scared if you think it's real then you think it's like clearly his breathing just say it but but are you gonna are you gonna get mad no i'm not i

want to know if i'm wrong so maybe i'm wrong that's that's why i said i'm open to being wrong about this i i think that it could be him breathing but i don't think that you're wrong he's terrified stop what does Danny think what do you think of the sound it's very elaborate yeah i think the sounds like someone died do you think it's him no no i think it's i think it's somebody in a bed he's like bedside and they're clearly dying i like this i promise new pussy it that's a better story than what i thought which is just a guy with a lung infection pretending to give oral and showcases i actually think Danny might have nailed what we're watching i i really do i think i think he actually nailed it

yeah i think the person who's recording is like and then he's like staring at her and then when she goes like he's like like that you know okay now i will take this hypothesis so the woman recording it's a woman recording him and she's so aroused by what she's seeing that her feel her she's her breath she's getting breathless is this i just i still can't believe you don't see how fucking obvious it is i think you're gonna kill me are you gonna murder me tonight and i milked you last night did no nicer i don't know how am i not being nice i can't watch a video and be like oh this is clearly not what you're saying in it like how is that so upset okay okay you're better now i trust you okay i'm scared what the fuck i need changed his name to ye is yay i thought it was

like ye old this is like four years old yeah or yay ye like ye old jesus me jesus or yay jesus yeah jesus maria can you but he just did it no yeah yeah but i mean he's been one day ago he's been calling himself that yay yeah like Kanye there you got it ye it's spelled like ye old tavern it's like medieval this is from Shakespearean times it's ye yeah he needs to think about it phonetically yay is y a y okay yay this is ye it's like doing a podcast with my aunt wait and in defense of my boneless chicken wing uh debacle why call it a boneless chicken wing

then call it chicken nugget sometimes they call it boneless chicken that'll say wing but this restaurant that i ordered from said boneless chicken wing so i inferred that it's a chicken wing with the bones removed that's what that would mean okay so i'm but it's upsetting me because you're very literal yeah yeah i might be autistic i think i am on the spectrum i'm very literal i am i really literally take what people say at face value and like i listen though yeah okay can we all right do you take this at face value i don't want the barfing it's not it's not barfing as you may have heard i am looking for a candidate to get me pregnant with twins in april or may and if you would like to apply for that you should be very spiritual very grounded your dna should be completely

activated you should eat a clean natural diet with no processed sugar no processed food you should meditate every day exercise every day and um have healed many lineages of trauma in your uh in your current incarnation oh wow that's a tall order it's a tall order but also like you know i like where she's thinking no she's looking for something reasonable request i do want to say that all genders are welcome but you will have to have sperm in order to impregnate me maybe in the future things like that won't be necessary but that's where we're at currently oh and when you send in your qualifications whatever those qualifications may be send a picture too because yes we're a little bit shallow it's happening that way you know i have to look at these children i don't

want them to be ugly i'm no offense there's nothing wrong with ugly people um but maybe you know if you are truly aligned with cosmic radiance you will be beautiful can i tell you something no i like her a lot you want to do you want to donate your activated sperm i want to see how close i can get to meeting the qualifications you're doing a lot of what she wants actually yeah pretty clean living yeah all universe was advertising on twitter that i was looking for people to send vials of their sperm no do not send vials of your sperm if you send a vial of your sperm you will be automatically disqualified from this uh this operation first of all your sperm will no longer be viable if you send it through the us uh usps also i don't think

that's legal i might get in trouble at my p o box for having my p o box full of vials of sperm not exactly ideal um additionally what i'm just going to mix up a bunch of random people's sperm from the internet that may or may not be viable because it traveled through the mail and shove it in my vagina no we're talking about a cosmic divine kundalini merging of consciousness to bring in the highest uh the highest possible warriors of light do you think she that sounds reasonable it do you think she's not well no this is a perfectly reasonable request she's just trying to usher in cosmic beings of light through not postal service it's absolute insanity um i wonder if absolute insanity why can't she just get laid she's hot well so but anybody will she not just um

does does the candidate actually sleep with her or does do they no she just she says sperm so it sounds like she just wants to be you know fertilized now couldn't she just go down to her yoga class and find that guy i feel like that guy is kind of easy to find at Whole Foods or at least the guy that could convince her that he's the guy yeah which is true because i'm like oh yeah i'm that guy this guy that she's describing i wish i could be that guy and then i'm like convince her and then just keep being like oh yeah i don't know why let's try again and then like i don't know keep trying six months later i'm like oh i gotta respect to me forgot uh keep trying yeah too bad um you should also be unvaccinated unvaccinated oh yeah i don't think i don't think you should be vaccinated

it's it's not so much a physical thing as a mental thing it's a mental it's a mental i want your mental space to be in the place where you can stand up to authority if you if you so feel like it i'm not saying that everyone who doesn't get vaccinated is standing up to authority we're not going to get into this this is not what we're talking about today but that is one of the qualifications i'm allowed to make any kind of qualifications about the future father of my children that's true she has that right also she made her future father um criteria almost political which is interesting well like it did go that it's a hot button topic did go that way um this reminds me of those girls on all the dating matchmaker shows that you and i love yeah when they're just like

nobody's good enough for me oh they have the list yeah they're like he must be six one or taller he must make three hundred thousand dollars a year or more he must have cut and they have like oh and then the matchmaker is like um you just this is like a resume what are you doing just meet somebody just meet somebody and then you forgive the imperfection you find what you you know you take the good and you love the bad yeah this this bitch is not it's never gonna happen sweetie and she's just looking for someone to impregnate her right which is super easy i mean there's no scarcity of dudes that are willing to do that yeah i would hate to have her as a mom though i yeah she seems like it would be a lot of go as a mom she's going to be one of those like super organic like that story

we heard of the switzerland people swedish people i know of the we heard about the person who as a parent was like i just never say no and and there's no such thing as competition oh yes like you can do whatever you want at all times yeah so right that was a weird story i'll i'll share it in vaguer vague terms well super vague but it's somebody who we know told us that they they actually got to babysit for someone whose um instructions were never tell my child no right never say you win or you lose no conflict there's there's no conflict and also they can do whatever they want whenever they want and that's gonna help them oh and and they also believed in unschooling yeah which was no school and you don't have to learn if you don't want to and also the story books that were read

to this child yeah couldn't have conflict which is pretty cool the center of all storytelling pretty cool yeah so we'll see how that goes yeah that kids in for a rude awakening that kid is probably like a teen or something now i'd be curious to see yeah what's going on it'd be cool to google that person and see like which rehab center that kid's in right now you know it's it is interesting when people disregard hundreds of years of human studies behavior like you you know what's worked for humans over the last thousand few thousands of years you know and then to be like no i know better i know better me yeah i know i know well you know who does say they know better a lot of times it's people who do really well like like they're successful in one area in one area

and then they go i know better about everything everything yeah and you go like well you don't want to consult with an expert on that i am an expert right i'm an expert because i i run a successful business you know like it doesn't you know i mean they're like i'm i'm great at basketball yeah so therefore i'm an expert in education and i know what children need to be educated properly like you don't know you want to talk to a doctor about the stuff and they're like why don't i talk to a doctor have you not seen all my car dealerships and like and that's that's exactly the logic is that i'm an expert in this area before i know everything about everything ever yeah it's so like it's so clearly the most unwise way to go about things like no no you're an expert in that

you know how to run car dealerships that's it that's the only thing you're really good at it is it's yeah it's terrifying this is terrifying yeah i like that it's on thank you for everyone who has is considering getting a pregnant i appreciate it yeah you can totally be gay absolutely nothing wrong with that she's very cute is this on world star this is so funny this she's getting lit up right now she's cute no she's gorgeous i think she's pretty i think she's charming i think i think she needs to take her meds that would help safe to say but if you took your meds then we don't get the videos keep the videos coming um are you tapping on your foot or is that a dog under there you're tapping and you're i'm not tapping on the fabric here really

yeah why don't you touch my camera touch my fucking camera i'm so bummed last night you know we're into that new show game of thrones and now we're watching we're gonna we tried to watch you season three and then the freaking internet went out yeah i'm so upset i thought it was just in the house yeah man i unplugged so much shit i saw you going on it i was like god fucking damn it and i did it over and over and over and then i just sat there and i stood in my fucking frustration and then i turned the wi-fi off of my phone and i put the cellular signal on i got an email there's a uh internet outage in your area and i was like and you get the glove the uh i gave him with the glove well here's the thing is that i saw you ramping up it was about

9 30 i saw the agitation and i was like good night and i passed out i was like this is going nowhere so fast because i saw you well i got when i restart the thing and then i was like just plug in and unplug it and then you got up to do that and i saw the purpose on your face like and then i was like oh he's plugging and unplugging and there's a level it's funny when you watch people lose internet connection or cable yeah you go through the five stages of yeah it's like how many times can i plug and unplug the router before i realized like oh there's something going on here the answer is four yeah and hey guilty to search i've done it so you're just like i just want this router then i unplugged the apple tv's and i restarted the apple tv's and then i was just

like this mother fucking thing just trying to fuck me you try to fuck with me like that you know you try to fuck with me yeah yeah you could try me fat cell yeah you fucking try me yeah i'll be back on tuesday i don't give a fuck about jail have you seen that this is gonna oh is it a garth update i'm a sophomore at the college of journalism i'm studying adpr and one thing that kind of pertains to me i guess is i deal with a lot of social media and i'm a new fan of yours so um i went to check out some of your social media and um i don't know this is something kind of new for me um with your following um i checked you some of your posts and saw some comments that were kind of um interesting i didn't know if they were references to different

kind of songs or something do you i don't know could you shed some light on that i'm kind of kind of if you might be a little unaware of what you're talking about when you say some posts that that talk about songs so um you might have to be a little more specific to that for me please because i'm not sure what you're talking about yeah i'm seeing a lot of uh a lot of comments that just kind of seem um i guess a little random um like a lot of them are saying like watch for wasps and um i guess like are you following protocol and things like that so i don't know there's a lot of them i don't know man you got you got a hell of a job cut out for you if you're trying to make sense of social media i can tell you that right so try to remember that what's on

social media is the larger the larger you get in a following the more you're going to get the whatever the first thing was of just people advertising there you're also going to get people on there that are trying to disrupt the system so with social media um my thing to that is just it's a beautiful way to get a message out but what social media does is it waters down a lot of stuff and the voices that you're hearing probably are not the original voices let's take a moment wow to really process what just happened that was amazing yeah first of all salute to whoever asked this i don't know who it was how did they infiltrate we just got into the intersection you could tell you was nervous this is clearly a sit with fans like you know

like uh probably sponsored by amazon music thing and he got in and you could tell he was like you could hear it in his voice he was nervous he was like uh uh comments like and garth was like what comments blank is a fart yeah and then garth had a uh like a really an answer ready like this has been discussed you know i mean you think he was briefed he's been briefed yeah he's been briefed he's like for sure one time he's like oh comments cool and he probably was like the fuck is proto and why are why is everyone saying what and then then there was the conversation like you're so big you're following so big this is what happened and then it was like automatic like he he gave he wasn't like huh i don't really i've never really

thought about he was like here's my answer to that because it's been it's a conversation i've had before let the conversation let the conversation begin babe i'm like my mind is so blown right now like this is like that time you found that kid in that documentary scared straight yeah you're like the internet this is isn't this amazing like that was the first amazing thing or it was like when we when somebody found rpc and we're like that's the try it out guy and like we we got to talk to him now through the magic of the interwebs yeah this happened it's someone just asked garth bro if he if he understands why people are writing watch for waspas and are you following proto it's amazing it's a it's a my mind is blown dude there's one more clip

so it's just a it's a hard thing for us so in social media we do either a team barth or we do it straight from me and ours is a verified check and so yeah you're gonna have you can look on any artist's site and they're gonna have a a lot of stuff that makes no sense but try to remember the larger no the amount of following no followers then the more that's kind of add time for people who post that stuff there so there's gonna be some weird stuff wish and i would love for you to be the guy to do it i wish there'd be a way where it could only be quality i would love for you to be the guy to do a conversation that's being had over at that team g inside studio g studio g they're like watch for wasps the fuck they're like what is

happening and he's saying i wish you like he wants the comments to just be qual like be like no man fucking i got friends like a wild loa the kick out of the big ass stadium tour rock on like that yeah but i i still don't think that garth is aware of the scope and the breadth i mean he that means of the of our sabotage of the social media he doesn't know is that a lot of us go like super famous people don't he doesn't know you know don't know or don't have access or don't look at and that's what i've learned is that that is not true super famous people with huge followings still go this is my instagram let me see worse how many followers i have yeah and they hit the i like this picture they're very you know aware what they want to the approve of the photo we're

gonna yeah oh what's this say there's six thousand comments underneath this let me hit this and and then he's like what the fuck is why are they asking about bodies why are they asking me where bodies are buried and then somebody goes you're huge and what happens when you're a huge right yes this is the speech he's been told yes a hundred but they're saying the families need closure though and then he's like yeah but the thing is man you're so famous that these are the you know i mean we can't just filter out all the comments yeah it's hot today so make sure you drink water you know i mean we have some wasps nests at our house i got a call about speaking of this is banana so you're right somebody's been telling him that kakamemi story yeah instead of

the truth which is the mommies are huge fans of his work yeah i know we're just trying to show our love it's uh that is unreal um this is this will be fun for forever by the way you know i picked up uh when i was in oklachoma city uh a magazine in an airport uh trish had covid oh really trisha your miss earwood had covid the queen she's okay y'all she's okay and she was nice enough to give us her recipe for Oreo cookie cheesecake and Oreo cookie cheesecake yeah it was like a recipe like a woman's magazine thing um yeah she had covid y'all yeah so i'm i'm happy here she's okay okay and did you know that garth has his burial site already picked out you've been telling me this is he from oklachoma city or was it a different i think he's born in tulsa i think you're near

tulsa okay so it is in it's in oklahoma yeah um he went to oklahoma uh uh state university but yeah he and he has that so they have their whole family plot laid out and he already has like his his stuff he knows because he's seen what country stars that are dead like you know he's probably like oh i'm gonna be like Elvis you know i mean like people will come pilgrimage that kind of thing you know he's he's not wrong i think oh i think so too yeah oh yeah yeah like jim Morrison you know people are like jim Morrison's grave you're like why are you there what are you he's not gonna say hi to you he's dead yeah they gotta drop acid on his fucking grave yeah what are you doing let leave the guy alone let him let him go what are they gonna do on his we never go to a

don't even jinx that they're gonna leave wasp's nests and they're gonna come in four strokes someone's gonna write like this is where one body's buried something like that you know um i had another cool update for you okay so everybody oh no please the interwebs are flipping out about it was good everybody look i'm ready i just got back from doing a yard today i just have one yard to get done but look i'm gonna tell you guys for the last time but stop commenting that bs under my post well all that daddy stuff and all that vote and i'm talking to mostly you guys for the guys just mostly guys i comment that under my post but stop commenting up well you guys are mad weird okay so stop calling me daddy yeah daddy not gone that i don't daddy daddy daddy

daddy chill yeah right yeah he's uh he went live on to talk yeah he did not yeah why just bark bro you guys are not going to give me the bark we're putting all these dog emojis in my comments bro i'm not a dog i'm not a pit four i'm not none of that bro daddy bark somebody in the comments trying to think it was funny he's like bro just bark just bark bro i'm a human i have a heart and a soul he's so sincere i know dogs do too but bro i'm a human nobody walks me on a leash i'm a human bro i got two legs i'm a human being bro stop these people like go crazy bro i'm a human being person these people obviously can see it but they just like disrespecting me bro as a person it's so silly he gets so if i can work

up that guy that's the typing in dog belly every show so now it's so upset now they're telling him to bark yeah oh man that's fantastic daddy nalgong daddy nalgong so that's a big butt it turns out right yeah i guess it's uh it's slang nalgong yeah um but they also are are calling him daddy lalagong because that's in his it's his last year yeah yeah whatever his name is bark daddy bark lalo lalo like francisco okay here we go somebody really needs to like i don't know somebody needs to grab him right so they can listen so they can know it's not a joke by the way they think everything there's a joke he's making money right now everything that i say they think it's a joke yeah and it's not a bro stop putting these stuff on my screen but i'm telling you guys bro

i'm not talking to one of you bro i'm talking to all of you guys in my comment section bro stop doing that bro because you could throw the emojis up look he keeps putting these little flying things in my screen but what is wrong with you why what's his problem with the flying because he doesn't like them and then you know gay because they're gay probably he probably thinks is yeah because they're putting hearts and like look thank you for the follow bro appreciate that i gotta deal with these other people over here but if you're new welcome i just gotta deal with these other people here i don't know how to act he keeps doing it on my screen go look at him oh look he moved his head so that the sunglasses don't go on his eyes i'm gonna catch you bro i'm gonna catch you

stop what you're doing now stop what you're doing you know what is hilarious to me he has that he has the temperament of like an old lady that that you're fucking with like like when you're fucked with your mom or your grandmother with techno and they're like stop with the noises you know like he's like young kid he's like what's all this flying stuff on the screen man you said relax princess call me a princess again hold me hold me it's so worked up it's hard if people play wouldn't be bro it's hard to me people play play play look that little thing says i love you baby stop sending that on my screen literally makes it so easy for them it's so much fun yeah he's like here are the three things i hate

don't call me daddy don't put sunglasses and don't put the heart wait somebody else did it don't ask me to bark bro can we please reach out to this guy yeah can you guys please reach out yeah we'll see what we could do because now i'm obsessed now i want to go on his life i gotta i gotta talk to him what's he doing right now is is he is he on i wish we could fucking get on there ah he's amazing god damn he's so funny he's so funny yeah he's like a toddler you know don't do that they don't listen they don't listen they don't listen they don't listen they don't listen like the shades daddy whoa bro hey you guys i would appreciate if you guys go like my video right now but i'm about to

get off of here you guys are just trolling me at this point no anyways you guys have a good night and much love i'd appreciate you guys go like my video and comment when i get off of this live okay daddy bye daddy stop because he doesn't like you know yesterday i was with the boys and i gave him a bath and they there obviously there's soap i thought you met your boyfriends like burt and like yeah some of my homies you know i was bathing them so no the children and um when i leaned down ellis took soap suds and put them on my head and i went and i went like i turn i was like hey and then they laughed so hard yeah so then i would wipe it off i was like don't do that and then he goes will you bend down and pick that up for me and like yeah the game has

begun so the game has begun so i've been down and he takes soap and he puts it on me again i go hey and then they laugh so hard but it's like this is it's this it's 100 it's exactly yes i was just thinking this is the kindergarten and yeah and and social media to a large extent is kindergarten it's going you suck you're awesome daddy daddy poo poo he needs to do he just needs someone to help him realize that he needs to do what uh uh hey it's charles and like ellie like what they did or they're like yeah like he needs to understand that he can lean into this stuff and have fun with it even though it's funny to watch him flip out it's funny yeah like no one's like you're this is all in your head man it's all in your head and the secret to charisma and to success is i think to

like you said lean in be fully who you are you have to embrace if you don't embrace you keep swatting away it's just gonna keep he needs he needs a daddy chill shirt yes daddy chill and he's like here you go fools yeah that's what he needs daddy chill yeah stop calling me daddy man that should be his shirt stop calling me daddy yeah yeah he's great how old he's maybe what 19 no he looks really young he looks really young how does he not know this how does he not know he's just he's creating more of this you uh i don't know we did we definitely need to talk to him i really want to yeah let's get him um yeah you said that you saw the clip of burt going i love watching myself oh my god yeah so every morning i do the elliptical and i watch pajama

pants shout out to that podcast i love those guys um but this morning i was done with pajama pants so i went down to two bears one cave and it's this clip where burr is like i love watching myself yeah and i i was filming the movie and then they're like oh daddy what do you think of the scene and he's like i don't know i'm just watching myself and like how good i am talking and i was like how are you it's crazy it is insane because it is literally the opposite of almost every comedian every performer to even actors yeah actors don't even see the movies that they're in it's mortifying yeah and burr it's like i love it this is the best thing i've ever seen when he said when it because when he called me he goes i just saw the screening of the machine

he saw the first screening of the movie i go how was it he goes amazing i go oh congratulations so it's it's good and he goes well i don't really know because i love everything that i'm in and i'm like what it's wild and he goes like i love watching myself on two bears i love listening to myself on a podcast i just i was like oh okay yeah because i have the exact opposite in fact the only part i'm dreading about taping is special the editing oh it's the worst and i'm considering just being like you do it i don't even fucking see it the first time they send you a line cut and it's dreadful so the line cut is like the the long full version for me it takes me about 10 days to watch it because i'll watch like five minutes i'm like not doing this now

and i walk out and then i get through i go and then i like force myself you gotta get through another part of this and like i get through 10 more minutes i'm like oh i can't even fucking breathe and then i walk out and then i know when they're like what are your notes i'm like i don't know reshoot the whole thing i fucking hate it and then i hate everything i do all the time and most comics that i talk to i like oh yeah it was horrible watching you know there's that thing like i hate listening to my voice of course or you're watching yourself and your gestures i mean unless you have like a glove then you fucking hate the way you move yeah i i hate everything about my like when i watch it i'm saying yeah you don't want to see it can i just have the editor just

do my whole special well they'll do they'll do the the line cut for you and then you you just got to start going like because sometimes you remember things that they don't so like sometimes you know typically most specials are two shows that you tape like sometimes they'll do let's say joke number three and it's clearly from the second show and you're like actually that's one of the jokes i remember it was better on the first show so you got to kind of you got to kind of make some of those calls or i mean i remember one time they left this like weird long transition like why don't cut that down who wants to walk watch me like walk walk back over here i'm like just cut it and they were like oh okay i know i don't think they don't think about the way you do yeah i dread

everything i i watch these sometimes and the whole time i'm like my fucking hair looks stupid everything does i say that everything i say is stupid everything looks dumb and then i mean i was talking about it with the the booth boys before we started taping part of it is like you know when you have um something that hurts and then you keep picking at it like a scab or like something in your mouth like a blister anything like i'm gonna keep just going over that that's what it feels like to watch myself right so let's go back to this yeah how does burt not feel these things i don't know he's just like no it's great it's genuine for him you don't think it's um i don't know do you think it's a it's not what we're talking about the self-loathing and that you're

just like oh you're using your gloved hand for that both how's it working let's see if you'll answer oh he'll answer no he doesn't that's right he's got a bad phone etiquette most of the time hey i can't believe i got you hey we're uh we're doing your mom's house right now we're recording uh do you have a second of course okay we're talking about how you're the only comedian that we can think of that actually loves watching themselves yeah of course and like where do you think that comes from why don't you why don't you um you know why don't you have the thing but we're like oh my god i can't stand myself turn the tv down in the background yeah what's in the background there is there a way to come in i know i'm walking away because i'm exhausted

you know you know everyone's terrified of the redhead jew is what they call him and they go they go our man it was fun being at any's house but i hate not using my phone and i go why didn't you use your phone they're like well the redhead jewish guy got really angry and i was like yeah i'm gonna stop just just record if you want to do a story do a story yeah we weren't allowed to i was like all right we got it this is gonna make i can't wait till you come back now uh so wait so what what do you what do you like by the way i can't wait to tell you the joke i'm thinking i can't wait either i it's probably well yeah we would have to bleep it out i'm sure um yeah what do you love how come you

don't have the thing where you know all of us go like oh man i can't watch myself i hate my voice i hate the way like why do you love watching you you think it's the same reason i like if someone shows me pictures of a vacation that i wasn't at i don't care about them yeah like i go why would i ever care i wasn't there i don't want to see your trip but if i want to see pictures of myself on vacation i only look for myself in pictures it's a reason that when i i had a hard time watching the screening of the machine originally because all i watch is me right i don't watch the whole scene i just watch me and how i behave and what my hair looks like um but i think i think it's also do you think it's healthy it's a healthy self-esteem or is it narcissism

that's probably a light narcissism i think because i don't i don't think i don't think it's myself it seems in the in the shitter right that's right yeah so but so then like because like we're talking about i don't know how you feel about this because we didn't actually specifically say this that like when we do stand-up specials for me the edit is horrendous like looking at oh yeah oh yeah i don't do it i leon does it okay she she goes through and cleans up the front and then once i get into my act my old my whole problem was special is the very beginning yeah me walking on stage and and being who i really am when i go hey we're up leon cleans that up it just can look past who i am and then once i get into my act i mean this is really not probably narcissistic but i literally

sit there and smile and giggle and i laugh at my own jokes watching my own special once it gets moving holy shit yeah yeah that's that's there once it starts my secret time yeah i was literally sitting after we cleaned up the first five minutes i was literally sitting and i was i was mouthing my my my jokes to the to the television and going like man i i actually i like this special i think it's really good um i don't know i don't know i wish i knew why but see i was gonna say it's interesting because some some people would hear that go so you have like really healthy self-esteem and self-worth you know i'm super low self-esteem yeah and i i'm super low self-esteem so i don't know if it's it might be i remember leon was told me i was like a light narcissist

like i have all the trappings of narcissism but none of the bad stuff right like all the stuff that makes a narcissist uh like i'm certain tom cruise the narcissist right right like he's not a bad one but you don't hurt people right it's kind of like hurt people but i definitely like it's like when children like to see them i tell you this tom i'm always shocked that people don't like me because i go i don't i'm not bad person i'm a really good person right right and i try to make everyone laugh and so i think i see that in myself ah yeah so you're seeing the good side which is like actually a very good thing to see so you see the good side the good things in yourself which is hard for a lot of people i think so yeah i mean you don't see that in yourself

i think i struggle with it more and i think um you know i mean i definitely don't have high self-esteem people think i have high self-esteem but i i definitely don't or i i mean maybe it comes in like waves or there's peaks and valleys to it but i i struggle with it but i definitely am not a fan of watching myself and i can say that i've seen myself in a few movies in specials and i i do not enjoy watching myself it's so funny i i i actually i remember sitting and watching uh two bears one cave desktop clip with my dad and i was crying laughing harder than anyone in the room and everyone's like i mean it's good but it's not that good and i was like uh it's better than you think i was like i don't think you guys know how good it is and i was like

it's kool-aid there's kool-aid in there hilarious yeah i mean i also think i also think there's it's like there's certain comics that don't laugh you know yeah like uh i mean we we don't name them but they're guys that take themselves pretty seriously yeah comedy yeah and i'm not that guy i also know of course i and i i love to laugh i mean the one thing i'll tell you i i can enjoy watching is i can watch myself genuinely lose my shit laughing like in podcasts over the years and enjoy that that's fun to me but i'm i'm basically accessing that day that moment and i can still watch it if you go watch it you can you watch the cabin and watch us before joey gets there i could watch that yeah because a lot of that felt like you know even though there's cameras

and everything like gen like genuine interactions and stuff it's easier for me to almost watch that you know because it kind of feels like podcasting it's so funny i watch that and i think of maybe i and maybe this is i don't know a crazy talk but i think of how much fun it was to do well maybe i think of that when i do a podcast right when i watch a podcast or i watch a special i go this was really fun and now i'm watching myself have a good time yeah i get that well it's it's a good thing i mean you're i think i really think you're unique in that i really do very rare i like definitely very unique in that i'm shirtless had a hooters drinking right now and i have one show at the straws center that's very unique yeah oh my god you did you get your dad to shampoo in

the pool with you dude i'm been telling you i've been doing pool showers my whole life my dad introduced me to yeah pool showers are like a legit thing steve fury did one last night he's like this pretty amazing i know you could do this i was like it's a pool shower i'm so glad you tagged me in that all right we're gonna run i love you have a great show have fun okay fine now can you pull up his instagram because it might still be in his stories um and wait you know what's struck me what i mean isn't the mark of a real narcissist extreme self loathing an extreme insecurity so he might be a pure narcissist maybe i don't know he's not though he's too he's too good of a guy uh scroll go jump jump jump jump um a couple more right let's go back who taught me how to oh that's his dad

that's amazing doesn't that mess up the chemistry of the pool i don't there's too much water wow isn't that great it's amazing so he's right his dad taught him pool showers wow oh that's cute yeah wish my dad was fun like that yeah to me oh well anyway good times good times yeah i remember i was i mean i am a huge fan of david letterman and i read his what i biography written about him when i was around 17 years old and it said that he was so self-loathing after every single episode of the late night show that he hosted he would go home watch the tape and flog himself and that was a mark of narcissism no extreme self-loathing and i fucked up how can i make this better i did this wrong like the pursuit of excellence but it was

extremely difficult for him to watch himself well you know the thing is about birth though he you know he's not self-loathing like that i don't think but he definitely works and does a lot to improve like his he cares a lot about it absolutely but he doesn't care about himself definitely physically yeah health-wise bad true can i take a pitch real quick sure what up what up what up how was your pee it was good i put i keep pushing and i know i shouldn't but i do yeah speaking of bathroom i started drinking espresso in the afternoons i started in a hotel room and then and then i started drinking espresso in my regular coffee in the morning you're not even listening i'm listening are you into this yeah it's fascinating and what i found is that

i take lightning shits because of the espresso in my regular coffee it's called a red eye right and this morning i decided not to drink the espresso shot in the coffee and my brown would not come down so now my body's getting used to the way the lightning so now what does that mean it means either i have to like slow down or double it up i don't know what to do well if you double it up you're gonna keep raising this the what you need you know i mean that's that's what i'm afraid of so you need to pull back dial it back because i'm it's not good for me to be that hopped up in the morning yeah shot out of a cannon unless i really need to be you know yeah um so yeah that's my story yeah and i didn't make a brown today and you know me i have to wake up drink my

coffee take a brown and then exercise otherwise the whole day it doesn't go right so you had no brown because i had a little bit of brown but it wasn't enough free workout pre workout otherwise i can't work out it's like an ocd i have to have it in this order really i do i can't take i can't exercise knowing there's a lot of brown in there that needs to come down why you like to exercise on a full tank no no no but i'm saying like do you feel it like oh i got it in here oh okay okay then the whole time i'm like oh it's like i can't have sex when i have a shit too like who you can you can right you've done it before i definitely have done it before with me i know for sure you yeah yeah i would say most partners i was like i gotta i gotta take a

shit you've you've held in a shit to have sex with me yeah definitely definitely and then after you're like okay yeah definitely i've been like really gotta take a shit and then sex was offered and i was like that can wait yeah then sex happens and then i'm like oh yeah then you're remembered i have to take a brown i got a brown interesting because if i have the brown a little and then we have sex it stops the need to brown really it'll shut it down well yeah it'll shut it down for a little while but i'm saying then all of a sudden you'll get a reminder it's like hey you remember we had an appointment earlier sir they send you a text yeah and you can't really reschedule this one you can't reschedule this brown talk oh yeah okay um so a couple weeks ago

i opened my um telephone my mobile telephone well you you're still using your dad wallet which is ridiculous now i'm addicted to it you know what you like about it tell me i don't know it's just like one of those things where you like to open i see you do it and i see you do it like you're so official it's so cute like you'll be sitting down you're like also in public put it yeah in public it's um privacy you know like oh you just like when you're on when you're on a like on a plane and you have your laptop open i'm always like yeah keep your fucking eyes to yourself i hate that um but like with your phone your phone's always out in front of people i'm like yeah so i feel like it's nice you have like a little cover you like to slam it shut authoritatively

no yeah you do it's like you're finishing your work close this case this case is closed stop like you do i watch you do it i don't i don't go case closed yes you do you're like you like solve the case and then you stop and then you put it down on the nightstand it's really adorable actually well i um i finished i was i was on my mobile telephone my cellular yeah and um i opened one of the apps and i saw that i kept getting tagged like everyone was like i was used to girls and i was like what what is this and then i opened and i was like wait is this me is this me so let's talk about agosexuality that guy so agosexuality is an identity on the asexual spectrum it's one of the micro labels and it describes people who have a comfort level with sexual things like

they may experience sexual fantasies or they may be comfortable watching sexual content reading erotic stories or watching erotic movies but they don't want to participate in sexual activity that's not you babe no i know it's not i was aware that it wasn't me babe it's not you stop thinking it's you stop calling him daddy no that and his hair is the weird color right yeah i think he probably does something to it yeah yeah yeah but i mean i see the similarity i see the the beard stuff and the eyes you know we just blocked his hair in the control room yeah and uh yeah it's pretty identical oh whoa wait a minute okay yeah now do this watch this okay yeah i remember when i filmed this whoa i like your tattoos he's um he's really uh i like

when there's somebody that knows a lot about something that none of us know about or care about you know what i mean the caring is yeah is primary like the fact that anyone's going to retain this nonsense is what's hilarious or sexuals or people it's one of the micro fucking sub because what so an agosexual person might have sexual fantasies but they won't be part of that fantasy okay or maybe they really enjoy porn but are not willing to have sex so for agosexual folks there's a disconnect between themselves and objects of sexual attraction that's it the a spectrum is the coolest spectrum it is not it's not the coolest yet as a guy that looks exactly like you let me tell you it is not the coolest spectrum not the coolest also erotic that word is so so lame erotic literature like

hey there's fucking six people on earth that this applies to it's a good that we gotta you know i was just wondering what is agro sexual yeah what is that man and i need him to explain it i can't just google it right well or also like after hearing them like oh you mean okay someone who's kind of fucking full of shit all right cool yeah that's great well and also these distinctions now now we've defined everything so down you know everything's so drilled down like somebody that enjoys pornography but doesn't necessarily enjoy themselves in the pornography but it's like what the fuck what are you talking about can we just go back to weird yeah when someone's just weird or um approved yeah yeah i mean or inexperienced you know what half those

people need someone to fucking open them up yeah you know nerds these are nerds yeah they haven't had someone put their tongue in their ass yet it's it that's it 100 it's not that special they're like i'm not so comfortable with sexual and then also someone's like like licks and they're like oh wow that feels pretty good like oh okay yeah welcome to adulthood yeah those people just need to be loosened up yeah you need a fun date yeah it's that there's no definition this is no need to why do we have to define everything so so so you know you don't specifically don't you don't i want i like pornography but i don't imagine myself in the pornographic get the fuck out of here like what who's even doing that i mean are you even thinking about the porn are you

thinking about how you think about pornography no like that's such a second step everyone's trying to come yeah i don't even care get me in and out bro here's the speech we're all trying to come i guess this makes people feel better like oh i'm i'm agro-sexual all right because i like the sometimes i'm comfortable reading a story but i don't like to oh oh yeah and does this provide comfort and i should find others like me and yeah what like another thing too is always this need to define what makes you come and then share it with others this insistence upon being out with what makes you come hard i don't like it yeah just keep it to yourself nobody wants tell the person that's making you come what you like exactly narrow it down yeah you don't have to put out videos out

you definitely don't have to announce it on a television show oh and it's just a family dinner oh well and also too like that hanky sister happy Thanksgiving everybody you know what makes me come i was like what just like the hanky system in san francisco the gay men with their hankies it's like do you really know what a chartreuse hanky means like is someone bringing the chart with i don't know what chartreuse means yeah i know what is that i do either google chartreuse what color is that yellow chartreuse yeah it's a color c-h-a-r-t-r-e-u-s-e see yellow i know that but i don't know that there are no bones and chicken wings so what is the what is the chartreuse color mean oh i don't know i just made that up but like the hanky thing you know like oh yeah i think it's so

defined it's supposed to be out of your pocket and that means like i'm a top i'm a bottom you can shit in my throat like right if it's on your left pocket then it means you can do it on tuesdays you can fuck my face and then on fridays you can't yeah it's like what is this yeah what are you doing with your life figuring it out and we're trying to just figure it out man yeah go get laid shut the fuck up and masturbate already right i like her jacket it's an m&m jacket that's cool shit i like the way that she just tells that story too she's like that guy peed on he just peed on himself and then he walked away yeah but the way that she tells the story it's like it's captivating you know that's an entertaining way she's a good storyteller yeah

she could be a stand-up comedian or an orator probably types yeah yeah i really dig her too that guy was just staying there looked like just pissing on himself really was he though i'm peeing you looks like san francisco yeah he did say it she's like did he say he'll pee on me yes he did yeah he said he peed on you and that is one of the micro sub-sex uh the coolest spectrum of all yeah god yeah i guess it's just that our generation we're just not in we our generation was like just do what you want it's okay you don't need to like okay you're into that great it wasn't about like you belong to that group of people sure you have to identify with yeah stuff right

didn't you feel like it was a little more we were just more like whatever oh whatever yeah you're into that cool all right i guess maybe it's um it's probably what's spun off from inclusion being a big thing because there's there's a big upside to inclusion right like people feeling like they belong yeah important yeah and then you know the there's always another side to something and the other side of inclusion in a good way is that like now you know who likes to get peed on right and it's an indefinite amount it's an indefinite include it just keeps going and going and going like is everyone there yet are we all included yeah yeah it's like let's just fucking let's stop at wheelchairs okay like that's enough yeah they should be included and then well gay i feel like gay was

well that was yeah that was before i thought you know yeah are we done now but it's like look we built ramps for you guys i mean what else what else do you need right well it's it's funny you say that because um you know every playground now is outfitted with a handicap swing uh and i take my kids to these parks frequently and all these years i've never seen a kid but there's definitely kids that can use that right definitely definitely out there i haven't seen you're you're saying that yeah a single one right who needs that at the park you've been at at the times you've been there that doesn't mean that it's not happening that's true yeah but i'm always like let's see like that's that's you know how many

do we need we need like three three swings that can accommodate a wheelchair is that it's a little overkill there's three yeah oh yeah that's too many that's too many i mean maybe one kid in a wheelchair shows up and they take turns but i mean or maybe you know two kids in a wheelchair or like a lot of times you know you call and they're like they start giving you language options it's like yeah how many all right let's english and spanish and then let's give it a break chinese i mean i mean there's a lot of them yeah they're gonna take over but for time's sake yeah i mean you do have to narrow down options you can't explore all the options all the time it's just not practical hey here's some more options in farsi what the

fuck are you doing well i mean back to my playground thing all right so so so let's say for instance so now they can only play on the swings because all the other shit isn't accommodating for oh for the oh yeah the jungle gym like okay so how's that kid gonna go do any of the other stuff now somebody would have to build an entire playground which actually i bet you that might exist i think it should yeah that might exist now that i like the idea and i'll be honest with you if i you know were the parent of a kid that needed that i might try to do that i would try to do that too you know yeah that'll be rad yeah i mean so then you have a special place to go and then yeah because like yeah because at this park you can only see that wheelchair but i mean that makes

sense thing but when you like you would do anything to make it accessible for your kid of course so it makes sense i know and my boys do love to play on the wheelchair swings the problem is i didn't realize that every race of kid is allowed at a playground yep oh man i've tried that was funny i like that yep god damn it go back to the fucking 60s all right so one of the things that you noted you were talking about it that i actually have been enjoying some road stuff so so here's what it is i was talking to agent jeans yesterday and he said to me he says to me he says christine it looks like tommy is enjoying he enjoyed vegas and i thought that's curious

that's not something toms ever expressed an interest in it's actually our least favorite location to work uh it's just not for us it's a little too exciting well there's okay there's how you start working vegas and how i work vegas now there's a big difference okay because when i used to work vegas in the very beginning and this was true for other cities with casinos like atlantic city and other casino cities when you're up and coming they book you for a week it's tough and you might be like oh a week vacate no no no generally what happens is you have one on a week long gig like that you have one show a night um it's usually like nine p.m usually and then on friday saturday there's two shows and which hold on which is right at that spot

you're like i could lay down and watch television nope i'm gonna get up and go work and also i like it now you kind of got to be a centered grounded together person to get because think of it like you're working vegas you don't have money like when you're on the you don't have any money so it's not like you're like out gambling shopping enjoying the perks of vegas you're eating in the cafeteria like where they give you like the voucher yeah the voucher to eat with like the the staff there right and it's like you go like i could do that like yeah one day two days but then you get to like day three and four and five and you're like oh there's three more days and it's just those would depress me because you would feel very isolated very disconnected and then the show

might suck so like the one thing you're looking forward to could be a shit show you know it's casino so it's like it's not like people who are like oh i love stand-up comedy they're like i'm looking for something to do like their their dolphin exhibit is closed so i just want to go do something and sometimes and the and casinos a lot of times in those in the in that like world like side with audience they're like we just we don't give a fuck about you no they don't care something for these people and usually they don't even close off the showroom from the casino floor so sometimes they're just a curtain separating in the shitty you and ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding and then people walking in a drunk and it is a nightmare i remember one time

three i had one time it was a big deal they were mad at me oh yeah the club they'll decide with them i was like and they were like what was that all about i was like the guy was a fucking drunk mess what are you talking about like so i remember one time we just got married we just got married and that was your first gig after our wedding and you were in vegas and i came with you which i back those days i never did and for some reason i did and we were staying at the it was the worst trashiest shit bird casino horrible horrible and then the one thing i looked forward to is when you would go down to work i would go to chipotle and get a chipotle bowl and then sadly eat it alone in the hotel room yeah this is the best chipotle i've ever like i was so that was that was because

i was higher caliber food than the cafeteria we were allowed to eat in the employee cafeteria and i was so stoked that we could get chipotle but we're so poor so on that one that not that one is before that one so poor when i was doing this shit one of the real shitty rooms i would make jokes about how shitty the place was yeah oh oh yeah don't do that in vegas and i was middling yeah and i was like this fucking shithole like you know i would do that kind of stuff yeah and it was this it was like the second to last show and uh one of the guys working there goes up oh and um blah blah he goes in uh you can go home and i was like i can go home he's like yeah you can go home i was like there's one more show he's like oh you don't have to do it you can go home and i go what

do you mean and he goes well you think this place is a shithole so since it's not good enough for you why don't you go home wow and i was like oh all right um when i was just joking he's like yeah you keep saying it every show so just go home and so i go backstage and i tell the headliner because i'm middling i go he said back and he goes what i go yeah he said i can go home he goes you're not going home he's like you're not going home he goes i want you to be here so you're not going home i was like okay so then um you know and that was uh one of the places where they mail you the check that's what i was gonna bring up what that makes no sense they're like no it does because what happens is because the credit card processing and then you gotta so the next week

like what is the only stand-up comedy is the only business where at the end of the week you got to go into your boss's office and beg for your money at least in the beginning now i remember working in uh what is it the downtown las vegas it was a real shit box those are fucking dumps horrible and that's where the ugly people go to lose yeah uh it was nothing but rascal scooters it's a fucking oxygen tanks and i was staying there for like days and days and days so i remember i did my shows i was middling to and then the same thing well we don't have the check for you we're gonna have to mail it all right my dumb ass is like okay i guess so so i go home we're living in downtown la and sure enough the check's not coming the check's not coming so i contact the

guy the booker and he's like well here's the thing i could give you $50 like now and then the rest in like another week it was like motherfucker if you don't mail me this money right now i'm never gonna do business with you again and da da da da so he did mail me the amount after i threatened him yeah but it was like what do you mean $50 yeah this week and then next week another 50 and so you come up to like the 600 that you owe me because that's how much you're making is a feed drag yeah it was a god what a nightmare vegas so here's what i mean though the difference is now yeah i stay for two nights perfect which is the perfect amount of time to stay in vegas um i bring friends huge that are not even on the show just to hang out

and then i try to do something fun at the very least vegas does have phenomenal restaurants so i'll be like let's go to dinner at like the show that i do for my contract is at 10 but it's the only show that night you have one show at night so i'm like we can go to like a seven o'clock dinner and then wrap up go over the venue do the show and it's like it's low stress compared to like heavy tour stuff that i'm doing that's a very low stress weekend easy so i actually enjoy it i did um i remembered this time it was like the day before i got there that you know vegas also offers you can do anything in vegas right you can be like i want to go shoot guns and you find a crazy gun range i remembered that there's a place where you can drive exotic cars

so i took the group i was with and the dove included he was that's right i took them to a place called dream racing and when they when you're picking out your cars is it native american it's native american um when uh when you're picking out your cars you know there's a board or you can be like i want to drive this that uh sickler goes he's he was on the show he goes uh what's the fastest thing you have and the guy's like he's a diesel right the uregun gt it's a it's a g it's a race spec lamborghini lamborghini good car not one you can drive on the street only for a track and he's like i want to go in that and then i was like fucking all right so he goes in that and he they split it up they go you do five laps first kind of pull over regroup

talk about it maybe like you know have a conversation because you have an instructor with you and then you go do your six laps he comes back from his five laps and he's like i'm done what i was like what he's like i'm done i'm like what do you mean he goes dude i feel sick and we have video from inside the car no way yeah i'm gonna see and they're like this is it yeah so here we go shut up yeah this is the guy telling the pull over right here he's like i'm gonna throw up he doesn't oh wow i didn't know you could so you're driving in a circle yeah well it's a it's a circuit so it's

you know it's got like it's not just it's not a circle it's like you go here hairpin turn you know like straight here turn back it's like a hole it's a whole track right this is pulled off to go back and the guy's like just pull over here pull over here he said this guy was like telling he was like man fucking open the door like throw up just telling me get out of the way oh my god i should send you mine yeah let me see you make go room i got room room stuff yeah what did you drive um i drove two i drove a 48 pista and this the same thing he's driving what's a pista it's a Ferrari just like a Ferrari nice fast car women like this kind of car yeah so it's a pretty rad car yeah wow how fast did you go tom you know they purposely i believe give you kilometers an hour

so that you envision that you're going faster and you're like doing the conversion rates in your head right you're like wait yeah just make it miles per hour but you feel like you're going like fast like if you're just visiting a track you're like am i going 180 you know um so i think they're probably miles per hour i mean it's not a huge track i don't know it definitely a little over 100 but probably not much more than that but it's a really it's a really fun experience and i'll say this you know we paid we did so you can see the track right here right that's the shape yeah that's crazy um but uh it's a um it's a really fun time it's a really fun time they had great instructors um and actually you know really uh nadav you got to do it yeah um i

insisted that he drive there's a new they had a new gt3 Porsche did you like it yeah yeah it's uh you know the only thing i've driven before that was like a 1998 Toyota Camry in my 2012 Honda Civic so quite an upgrade from that to driving this shit different experience different yeah man it's uh i mean i was scrubbing through through my video too and it's just like i'm just laughing nervously throughout all of it and i'm like hey man there's no microphone inside the car right he's like no just on the outside and i'm like and i watch him like oh you could hear everything i'm saying i love that they lie that they didn't like he clearly knew there's a mic in there yeah yeah it's probably it's probably better so that you go i'm you're not self-conscious right

but um but i'm i'll tell you what i'm driving different now i'm uh i'm learning how to take corners and shit and uh i'm like oh no no you don't touch the brakes you just let off the gas and then floor it right when you're past like the halfway point you're driving like the streets are a racetrack yeah yeah with my safety yeah nice nice man uh but that thing you drove i mean that's a fucking that's a special car it's fucking crazy man yeah like it's a enough if you're someone that doesn't really understand cars or driving or whatever doing that with the instructor they're so good it makes you understand like oh this is why people like cars and racing that's why i'm addicted to it it's because of it's honestly because of those instructors why i mean like that

because they're coaching it's like it's like you um you know it's like a boxing class like i've watched boxing and you go like oh i'm gonna throw a punch and then you if you're with like a really skilled boxing instructor like a trainer somebody who's boxed professionally by the end of that class you're like oh i didn't know how to stand i didn't know how to hold like i didn't know how to throw a punch and then you know the next time you're kind of slipping punches and like you know learning how to move your your foot learning how to stand so it's like it's insight into something that you think is one thing it looks like one thing but you realize has so much more going on driving like that like even people who know a lot about cars sometimes

don't know how to drive well you know i mean they're they're like mechanical guys like they they'll be really into like you know the they know how the engine works the pistons and they go they know i don't know how to change oil and then you get in a car with them you're like you're a shitty driver though you don't have to drive you don't have to drive like on a track because it's totally different than street driving so i think like the the addict the thrill comes from having a guy like that sit next to you and teach you how to do it teaching you like wait like where to hit the throttle when to break how to how hard to break because you break way harder on a track you know when to turn when to like let the wheel out it's all just like you know

it's it's learning how to use a tool you really start thinking of the cars tools oh that's kind of neat and did you wear your glove and which glove did you oh yeah i was like he's like why are you wearing one glove and i was like i'm tom segura now when's the merge coming i think everybody's wondering you might want to check in the store right now which one will you sell the people you have to see you have to go back and see because it's really there's a glove for everything i mean we were talking last week about you wiping with gloves you could sell just the wipe glove a disposable one like you know you just you get a box of them and the time i also i talked to uh merge people yeah i was like it's one glove and he was like don't

you just sell them both and then they can decide which glove they want to wear oh boy oh yeah i don't know so that decision i don't know as of right now hasn't been made so you might see one glove in there you might see two gloves you know it's tricky you might see a glove that you wipe your ass with i don't know i don't know but there's something in there wow i didn't think about that you because someone could be right handed or or left all i know is that it's fucking glove fever out there the streets are full of gloves right now i got when i got on stage in in seattle somebody had a sign it said where's the glove they held it up where's the glove yeah that's fucking amazing yeah it's pretty started a whole new thing it's wow wow wow wow glove comic yeah

remember that time you told your dad back when we were so broke this reminds me of my tour manager remember i told you the story about how my tour manager super supportive so supportive that i jokingly said no more question jokes he just did it my dad is like that i know it's like it's that level of support the the story we told him was um i'm gonna lisa lamborghini but keep but set the backdrop what year is this oh yeah this is like this is like 2009 we just been married so we're living in the rampart division yeah in the shittiest apartment and and no money and i go i'm take i call him and i go uh i don't know why was it's like just a fucking bit idea to run by my dad i go um yeah i'm taking out a loan uh to lease um a car he was like that's not a good

why are you doing that and i was like it's really so i can pull up to the clubs and like you know have like a certain look and i was waiting for him to be like buddy this is a bad idea he was like huh okay what are you gonna so sweet what are you gonna do i go well you know like everybody like you know like dice has a leather jacket and like you know i mean so i'm gonna i'm gonna lease a lamb borghini um it's like 30 grand a month he was like uh it's a lot i go yeah but this way when i pull up people will be like oh this guy is like the shit and he was like i understand and i was like what he's like yeah it's you know it's your business he's basically was like that's what they do in entertainment i guess well he's not he's not wrong jz did that before thank you till

you make it that's right he was always showing up in flashy shit that he didn't he didn't know when he couldn't afford and like when we fucked with dr joe court immediately i was like dad i'm not doing that he was like oh okay i was like i'm not gonna lease but how sweet and i remember that was so funny to me yeah he was like all right he's like yeah yeah yeah lisa lamborghini i think i was i also described at the time um i was gonna change my hairstyle and my clothes new clothing i was like yeah i'm probably gonna do this ponytail thing and like you know more like open shirts and he was like okay yeah all right it's good but i was like you gotta have an identity you know you gotta have personality boom boom but now look so much better i mean now you can sell

those gloves you can't sell lamborghini's well i mean if you can get your hands on one uh this is also silly gooses silly this is something that you're definitely gonna be stoked about okay a couple weeks ago we said aren't you guys excited to uh have an update on this guy yo yo blah blah blah blah blah blah blah i'm cutter yeah you can call me cutter yeah i'm got it right got it got cut a smile upon your face enemy of my enemy enemy of my enemy yeah i love this yeah this is the machines within guy yes of course of course and then we told the audience who can forget hey could you throw some yeah some hot sauce on this and make some yeah some remixes for us they did not disappoint they never do they never do disappoint uh this is

don't give a flying f u c k oh by sequence program okay okay are you ready for the update yeah you can say you can say those things I cut her, yeah, you can call me gutter blah blah blah blah I cut her, yeah, you can call me gutter get to make friends with families I cut her, yeah, you can call me gutter

blah blah blah blah I cut her, yeah, you can call me gutter get to make friends with families you can say those things I mean, killed it that is amazing I would dance to this in a club absolutely

it's a banger sequence program that's fantastic wow it's a really good song a really good one um here's another one it's called Enemies of my Enemy oh boy

by Damon Cisneros oh boy I'm trying to see my song I'm trying to see my song um okay here we go here we go I'm not a beat down for you I try to practice

practice my own song this is my introduction to my song coming at you and here we go awesome yeah, you can call me gutter okay, who's riding with me? can I dance?

I ride with the bandwrensmen that's a lot machine's worth it machine's worth it machine's worth it machine's worth it machine's worth it machine's worth it

yo yo blah blah blah blah blah blah at what point do you think his parents were like this is gonna he's not gonna do a lot well

wow I mean that that had a more powerful vibe oh that was really aggressive I like it the first one was like a dance jam this one was more like yeah workout

a couple more these are really good oh wow yeah this next one is called F.U.C.K. and then in parentheses gonna cut a smile upon your face by odd track numbers

all right oh wow F.U.C.K. gonna cut a smile gonna cut a smile upon your face F.U.C.K. gonna cut a smile gonna smile upon your face

F.U.C.K. gonna cut a smile gonna smile upon your face C.M.I.G.C. gonna cut a smile gonna smile upon your face C.M.I.G.C. blah blah blah

so blah ah Laughter who's got my back who's riding with me who's come right back who's riding with me who's got my back

who's riding with me who's riding with me killin' a day at night F.U.C.K. gonna cut a smile gonna smile upon your face C.M.I.G.C. F.U.C.K.

gonna cut a smile gonna smile upon your face C.M.I.G.C. F.U.C.K. gonna cut a smile gonna smile upon your face C.M.I.G.C. F.U.C.K.

I mean they're all like it's amazing I would jam out to this so much talent in our audience yeah I mean that's like a real song yeah it's pretty

pretty talented people far out man um the last one here I got is called who's got my back by Keith Reynolds oh my gosh

laughter C.M.I.G.C. 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920

01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920 01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:25,920

01:45:25,920 --> 01:45:53,120 I mean you can say those things you can say those things do I keep a flying F.U.C.K. F.U.C.K. F.U.C.K. I don't keep a flying F.U.C.K.

K.M.I.G.C. enemy enemy enemy I'm trying to make friends enemy enemy enemy

family enemy enemy enemy much more more hate who's got my back who's riding with me

tell a day I die who's riding with me tell a day I die this is amazing this is amazing it's amazing you know what I like about this that this particular mix

is that it maintains the integrity of the original rap you hear the same cadence and he just enhanced what was there you know what it really does too

is it it makes him think he's making music yeah like like if I were this guy I'd be like I would just take one of these

and give it like oh I made this song and they'd be like fucking hey man you made this it's amazing well sort of kind of

yeah maybe yeah not really but these people are super talented so talented I like the this one

if you can take what he gave you chaos yeah and be like here's a a listenable song like

you might bob your head to this you know yeah yeah um I like when he's like I'm just giving my introduction this is my introduction and the guy uses that

at the beginning that's brilliant I mean you guys are just yeah man I mean you guys are doing good

hopefully he keeps blessing us with lyrics and then you guys can keep making hits Tom it's not it's not so easy being a rap star you know

oh that's right I as a as a big rap act myself you're a big rap act very tough yeah come up with those lyrics

and put content I wish you would do a video and really do yeah I mean I guess he is already what am I thinking I don't know he's definitely doing something

yeah staying creative during the the pandemic dude creative staying in it he's just doing good stuff

yeah you know it was a good club in Vegas because I believe it was owned by a good human yeah Brad Garrett Brad Garrett comedy club was actually very good

and I'm still around yeah it's still around he was very sweet I was a feature act there he pays well and he takes care of people

he's a good guy the key to Vegas I think any of those like Vegas baby it's it's it's being in and out in and out

you don't want to spend too much time there that's that's a good point but also if you're going to party same thing yeah the fun thing to do

is to go for two nights just in and out get drunk overdo it and then go home and recover eat too much spend too much

and then be like I gotta get the fuck out of here yeah because it is like Vegas is like a trashy hooker right like you go

you dump your clip and then go leave once you've dumped your clip right you don't you don't hang out after you've begot

right I'm saying right with a hooker yeah you're just like you don't go like hey so what are you like what are your interests

yeah you go you just yeah bust nuts and then leave very interesting way of

breaking it down it's the only city that's like that the only city that's like that really yeah I mean one other places I've never been

to the other Vegas what's it called Atlantic City yeah no similar scarier why is it scarier Atlantic City

is a fucking rough yeah you don't want to fuck around I mean what's one of those places they're like

stay in the casino right oh wow yeah or the boardwalk when the sun is out Atlantic City is not a joke

yeah yeah I mean I mean casinos are going to attract a certain type oh I know it I've worked a lot of them yeah

the weirdest ones for me were always the ones in the middle of nowhere where you're like what what is out here where am I I just did one in Indiana

I'm doing I'm doing them all over the country I do them everywhere but yeah there's some where it's like the only thing there

right so you'll you'll go to the airport that's usually how they got permission to do it by the way I'm sorry permission when you go when you see a casino

that's in the middle of nowhere right and you're like the fuck is this doing here well usually what happened is that's a depressed area economically

and so what what somebody did was say hey if we open a casino it might give some life to this area it'll be jobs people will come

it'll be a destination most definitely yeah so that's how it's kind of granted the permission for that gotcha one off casino

we'll see now that that theory makes sense Tom because I remember I flew into some state and then they drive you now or outside and then you're in there

and I remember people being really stoked about a raffle for some frying pans yeah and they're like come give your money to the raffle we're going to raffle

off these frying pans and I was like is this really a big deal and they're like oh people come every week for the frying pan raffle frying pan raffle all right man

like they're stoked to get yeah yeah and the the buffet wasn't very good but people love buffet that is like

they love a buffet if it's on the cruise ship that's like that's all you do on a cruise ship is you wait for the midnight buffet yeah

and then every meal is a buffet but the buffet is not very good the quality is not very good no it sucks have you ever had a great buffet not really

never no never don't like it don't like it would you ever go on a cruise again no I know I hate them so much

I don't like them I hate that and don't tell me I haven't tried the one that you want me to go on I always have to convince you yeah I've been on a bunch this is like when I go I don't want to go camping

well you got to go I don't want to go I don't want to camp either yeah I don't want to do it I don't like it I don't want to you know why I don't like camping

I don't like being dirty and I don't like shitting in holes I don't know why somebody goes I can like just accept that we don't have the same interests you know what I mean yeah so I was like the thing is though

you got to go camping with me no I don't no you got to go on this cruise line no no I don't I've been I've been on a bunch

I don't want to do it again yeah you and I hate the same stuff for the most part pretty much which is probably why we've been together for so long 43 years

43 years it's a long time it's a lot of stuff we both hate yeah Billy Joel just kidding I do like a few other things I just did that for Agent Jean's

oh yeah he loves Billy Joel he loves Billy Joel Billy Joel you love Bauhaus I love Bauhaus oh my god they canceled their New York dates

I'm so bummed was it was it visa related yeah they couldn't get their visa to come over you were really excited god damn it I was planning on going to both shows

in judo activities that's crazy to like a band that much and I do I've never had I know people that are like I follow this band around that kind of shit

well here's why I grew up listening to them yeah in my formative years when they had already disbanded so like they weren't together when I was a teenager

worshiping them so now that they're back together and touring it's pretty miraculous and special so that's why it's not like these guys were always together and they were always touring

so you got how old are they probably in their 60s 60s I think so yeah they're still jammed though 20 years older than me

good concert it's a good show amazing Peter Murphy's voice is amazing now he actually sounds a lot like Neil Diamond if you listen to his voice very similar

and he's got great range very active very good very nice talented dudes all right let's wrap it up Jean what about

what to TikToks oh you're just gonna fucking leave me without I've been waiting this whole time so patiently what's wrong with you

I don't know what's wrong with y'all okay here we go yeah I really saw him today we're gonna watch it again that's not what you like to

yeah when it's here you can definitely hear by the way you can hear but it's coming out of his mouth that it's the other person okay and you can hear that he's going

and then you can hear the okay the fact that you're this close agree to disagree you really think that that's him can we go on I want to move on to the next talk

wait you really think that's him I do I still think it's coming from his windpipe I do listen wait wait wait look look look look so I want to understand how fully talked you are

so look at the screen I can see there's heavy breathing coming from wait a minute now you're right wait somebody's recording wait what did you say no I can see it now when you say oh it's someone else

like it's the person recording you can see it though right yeah okay now I do and now I'm even more disturbed that he made somebody record this for him

like somebody helping him you know he might have made them but there's definitely someone else there it's either that or like you said he layered in audio I feel sick inside it's a hospital room

it is a hospital I think you're right it's a hospital room yeah because that kind of a door handle is usually not in a home yeah yeah I see it now I can see it now what it what made you just stop

can we just move on I just want to get on with my life I want to get out of this I want to get out of this TikTok I can't I want to get out of this world take it off the screen I don't like his tongue

I don't like his teethlessness toothlessness don't do it again I don't want my mom she's playing with a squirrel like it's a baby it's a really big squirrel it's so cute it's really big

can you do this with squirrels you shouldn't they're just cuter rats you know I know but do they carry disease and stuff right like rabies and such whatever whatever you can get out in wilderness they can get it too

they're so cute though look how fat that one is it is really fat yeah that's right it's big no was that far real I think so you like that

that's so stupid why would you I like farting in dogs faces it's funny this really gets me I just think it's pretty funny you don't think this is funny come on you don't like that

you don't have joy in your heart for this I mean it's all right we get a dog's face look how he the dog is like he's like an angry chihuahua like when they growl at stuff and then he's like what are you doing here it goes

so what's interesting about this guy's work is that he's taking it out to the streets now like now he's farting in grocery stores but they didn't hear anything I know sometimes they're little and he still gives a big reaction yeah which I don't think is fair I don't think it's fair either

but it's pretty funny all right don't burn a bridge with me and then expect me to send you a boat that's not how it works sometimes that's not how it works yeah life is tough for a lot of people you know what I mean

that's a that's a rough life you don't see that yeah I just thought I don't know do you think she's sexy at all obviously the stink and the smoke coming out of her nose it's very cool very cool effect

yeah he got it sexy she's so vindictive though don't get yourself don't settle for a second best you are number one you are good enough

you are good enough believe it it looks like Nadov's accountability what's his name yeah I think you're right I think we've actually seen this guy before when he didn't have veneers

oh his teeth look great I was gonna say he didn't have great teeth before oh he might have actually had a tooth oh and he gave a and he gave a similar speech and it was like that

and he was all fired up and he had like a tooth yeah well I'm glad he fixed it because he deserves nice teeth and everyone does it's almost like that guy told the other guy you deserve

nice teeth all teeth yeah well looks like he just worked out maybe or stood up he's just pumped up stood up

he's super pumped right there yeah he's fired up and it's a positive message it is but it's logically not possible you're not all number one we can't all be number some of you will be number two and a lot of things

it's not first or last that whole Ricky Bobby that's Ricky Bobby's philosophy if you're not first or last and that's not true not true yeah you should say

hey everybody this is Angela Wanzer Tony or not is my husband Tony or not 40 I ain't wearing this ring we've been together nine years so you better not try to hook up with him behind my back

because I have low-kidder my cuts off my favorite tiktoks of all are the ones that just stop so you better not well she's been with him for nine years so don't even think about it don't even think about

maybe his tiktoks are suggestive or something I don't know I wish we knew yeah wish we knew I wish we knew the full story here don't try to hook up with Tony

delicious sauce what is that sauce looks good that's a type of a fish they always have these on these type it's just a fish that looks like a beautiful dick

yeah it's a shelf it's a fish that comes out of it it's a really nice size yeah it is yeah I wish that was my dick your dick's great babe but that sauce looks delicious I feel like that sauce

you could dip anything in and it would taste delicious it kind of feels like she's biting your dick when she does it definitely oh you feel it and you're getting on yeah I'm like

and then she goes argh and I'm like oh no yeah yeah but she's such a little girl she's so little with those big teeth well she can do some harm with those teeth

yeah if you know by now the more you can play in the higher I raise my flag attention I'm a fan of shit like this what do you like about it uh I like that

this person is clearly that just feels a little bit like oh are you sending me negative vibes well I'm gonna keep doing what I do yeah that's what I like about it they're in their own lane they do what they want yeah yeah

but I wonder what goes through that person's mind like what goes through someone's head where they're like I like this cartoon character so much then I'm gonna dress up and pretend to be them fun

when I'm an adult escape just imagination yeah I guess so I don't like those things uh yes all in my baby definitely Florida

definitely Florida that's a great tic-tac yeah he's oiling is that an alligator or a crocodile it's probably a gator he's oiling a gator

on the dashboard of his car all in my baby it's definitely Florida wow yeah that's uh it's pretty cool right that's why the tic-tac

platform was created yeah something like this two more go say like it's a death sentence two more you mean two more yay

what's gonna happen keep forgetting you're new at this yes vampires are real werewolves warlocks even the fey but there's something even more worse that goes bump in the night more worse

and that's what I am a shadow hunter ooh a shadow hunter again just imagination so scary it's so much less likable in this video is it because he's a grown adult

maybe because the other person seems like a kid or kid adjacent yeah and then this guy should have a mortgage things to do

right that's when it gets sad he's like I'm a shadow hunter and you're like hmm they're not yeah but again he's happy

he's but I I guess my thing is like why do you have to put it out there like if you want to be a shadow hunter just do it privately quietly why not put it out there so that people like us don't mock you

like tough some self-preservation maybe like I I you don't like it I know yeah I know all right what do we got here

my 80-year-old sugar daddy what's you got to say to the people well this is my hot chocolate and you know what they say about chocolate it's really nice to have a melt in your mouth and not in your hands sometimes spice in your hands too

perfect nothing better perfect talk perfect talk oh my god yeah that is fucking awesome you're welcome

just doing my job I didn't even understand what he said at the end when you're coming with him yeah 02:05:34,880 --> 02:05:35,600 when you're coming with him sorry when you're coming with him

sometimes you're coming with your hands yeah okay that was great yeah and that good for this guy yeah and good for all those old guys doing that

listen I'm not opposed to the sugar daddy sugar baby dynamic especially the old ass guy he doesn't have much time left no he's just enjoying his last few giving her a few bucks paying a phone bill

mutually beneficial relations yeah nobody's getting hurt it's fine all right we got a run I love you January 22nd

the Gramercy Theater in Judah oh my god go see touch my camera through the fence live get your tickets today guys get your tickets right now right now right now right now the passwords jeans jeans

jea ns and the closing song is daddy chill by zcr it was good everybody so I look how I'm crazy here but look I just came on here real fascination to swallow you guys all of you guys really disrespect

to me yesterday about commenting in my comment section daddy not a going and daddy chill bro I already told you guys that is real disrespectful when you guys tell me that bro don't be coming to those daddy chill

don't call me no not a going stop telling me daddy chill stop commenting all that stuff under my post you guys like women please stop kind of make me look that on this black woman you guys stop commenting daddy under my post you guys please

look this is black woman you guys tell me that please stop baby bro I already told you guys that is real disrespectful when you guys tell me that bro don't be coming to no daddy chill

don't call me no not a going stop telling me daddy chill stop commenting all that stuff under my post you guys like women please stop kind of make me look that on this black woman you guys stop commenting daddy under my post you guys please