Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 628 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

YMH Live 7 is happening November 18! Get your tickets here: https://livestream.ymhstudios.com Tom just added a whole bunch of new stand up dates! Get your tickets at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Go to https://HelloTushy.com/YOURMOM to get 10% off plus free shipping! - Visit https://expressvpn.com/YOURMOM and you can get an extra three months of ExpressVPN FREE. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “MOM” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Go to https://ForHims.com/mom and get your first visit absolutely free! - Go to https://MackWeldon.com/MOM and use promo code MOM for 20% off! Pull those jeans all the way up! Tom Segura and Christina P. joke around a lot about recreational substances, but they are legitimately considering dabbling in angel dust! Tom reveals a Pazsitzky Effect he just discovered, Nadav unsuccessfully googles the meaning of airport codes, learn about Demon pronouns, and talk about the statement Dave Chappelle released. We do a round of Horrible or Hilarious involving scooters and cars! We revisit the great debate of The Tongue TikTok Guy and if it's him making all the sounds, and hear the fans weigh in! We get a Garth update, and take a look at Vincent Gallo's merch store. Will Tom and Christina purchase his overnight services? We watch a video of a cool guy eating fermented meat, get an update on Kevin's egg salad sandwich, and look at your YMH themed pumpkins! And, of course, Christina's TikTok curations!

Vincent if you're watching this huge fans you feel I mean, I don't know if we can afford $50,000 just to fly you out To be a guest. I'd like that. Well, do you want it to be I mean overnight guests? I don't know I mean, he's pretty clear about that I mean, would you be interested in watching? Yeah He doesn't mention a three-way Kissing you and holding you and caressing you and playing with your titties Put your balls in my mouth But put your balls in my mouth make you just just come and come and come and come and come and come and fill my mouth

Yeah, I'll swallow if I want to be yeah, I'll swallow if I want to put a big hickey on your inner thigh there and make it nice and red Oh It's normal size it's not The one thing that I'm gonna tell you is that the first time it's gonna be quick with me cuz it's been a long time Cuz it's been a long time long time Okay, you come you come you come. Let me see how much you come. Let me see how much you come I need it right now

I need it. I need it right now Right now. Okay Can you see this? Give it to me now. Give it to me now. I need it. I need it. I need it Give it to me. Give it to me Come on mark. Don't be stingy. Come on mark. Don't be stingy. Don't be stingy Don't be stingy suck it prime. Just suck it dry mark. Yeah You better coming up in me

You are terrific I know you're gonna be good in bed Come on mark. Don't be stingy. Come on mark. Don't be stingy Shit still slaps and does and it's still it still evokes horrible feelings inside of me Which is cool. Yeah, and when he says it's normal sized. It's not that that big. I feel like we never really Knew just how big it was cuz it was covered by his stomach in his balls his balls covered his dick No, I mean the balls are so big they kind of offset. Well, he's built in such a way that Everything kind of sits back

You don't remember that explanation I do Built in such a way. Yeah, he's like I'm built in such a way that my balls grow out of my asshole Is that true cannot really happen. I don't think so. No, I think he's just fat in such a way Yeah, that the fat covers his very very very big No, I listen to two bears every now and then just to see what you two knuckleheads are up to We're a couple of goofballs a couple of balls. You guys are always talking about your penis and Bert brought up that he grew into his mouth Because he used to have a big mouth relative to the size of his head and I was fat. Yeah, he's like my mouth is

Smaller. I thought that was really a accurate. Yeah Well, if you see a picture of him like really young his mouth looks like it's bigger than his it's like bigger than his face Yeah, his mouth is just huge Yeah, it's true. I didn't realize it until he pointed. Yeah, like those even that photo the blue shirt That's when we started hanging out with Bert, right? Yeah. Yeah, like his mouth was so big. Yeah Yeah, but even if you look the size of his mouth there. Yeah, his mouth is huge But even in like that that you know that Tito's meme. Oh my god, that's the saddest picture. Yeah That's that's gotta be one that Leigh-Anne's bummed about that's what she met him. Yeah, I know she's got to be so upset you think so

What look let me just say you and I have What do they call it the glow up? Oh, I would argue that What do they call it babe, is that right? Yeah, like we've aged I think gracefully we've embraced changes and You know we take care of ourselves not always not always you're talking about we're fighting the fight We're in the fight. Yeah, you're talking about like this week Yeah, it's not necessarily a glow-up. There's like some real shitty photos of myself What we can pull up that you don't fucking pull them up Right

Yeah, no, we don't I mean look but that's because we were like poor really struggling Yeah, we were really in it like we hustled for so many years and yeah You don't exactly have the resources to take care of yourself. You can you don't need to have money to take care of yourself That's true. Yeah, cuz I remember you and I would get like we go to trade there's Joe. Yeah, we were at our poorest Yeah, we go to trade that is Joe. I'm just somebody that coped that way though and by Sokka souffle all of it a lot of cakes and just like the difference is like I would just do it with like eating way too much food Same and then like, you know Bart just drinks a lot. Yeah, and then when you drink a lot, you end up eating more too That's so true. Yeah, that's the problem every time you have like that

You know, you start really pounding booze you get like this insulin spike and then your body's like you need to eat Yeah, just fucking housing food. I know so how do I not do that? Is there a drinking? And I can't take pot cuz I OD on pot every time you don't OD every time I Take too much cuz I'm so so friends this last time the pills. Why don't you take pills? I Started to with my ankle and then dr. Drew said that's a problem dr. Drew. What the fuck does he know? Babe pop oxy's you won't eat shit. I know I know but he says that oh Opioids are not a good thing to get addicted to they are they're fun and they need to increase your appetite Yeah, they do and you know what you just fucking sleep. I know it's the best

Which is great, and it's a fun psychedelic sleep. I was having great to get into a fucking acid or something I've done it already in high school. So do it again You're right You know what you always have the best advice You know we never cuz like we joke about like coke and like math and everything I know it's ridiculous, but what we've never like really talked about trying for real is like PCP like Angel I Can you even get it anymore definitely?

Yup chimes any in the next room. Yeah, wait, but what's the advantage of PCP you fucking you know what to fuck with your shit? You're just lifting cars. Yeah freaking out. He's like punching windows shit. Yeah, wait. Yeah, let's look at the benefits of PCP No, there's no such thing. They don't write benefits of PCP. Well, I would say effects Yeah But if you look at Chris Active is a mind-altering dog that may lead to hallucinations profound distortion and a person's perception of reality fun That's fun. Yeah, it is considered a dissociative drug leading to distortion of sites colors sounds and ones environment PCP was developed in the 1950s as an intravenous and aesthetic but due to the

serious Toxic side effects development of human medical use was discontinued. So somebody was basically a pussy and then they stopped In the purest form PCP is a white crystal powder that readily dissolves in water Hold on. It says ketamine an anesthetic used for surgery and pain which was developed instead. I've basically done PCP It's a similar to ketamine is what they're saying. Okay, so then well, I'm ahead of the I'm ahead of the curb. Yeah, there you go How it scroll scroll how's PCP use what are the effects here? We go recreationally. This is what we want to get into many believe PCP to be one of the most dangerous drugs if you are a weak person a Moderate amount of PCP often causes you users to feel detached distant and estranged from their surroundings

numbness of the extremities slurred speech loss of coordination Accompanied by a sense of strength and invulnerability. This is this is Bert's personality a blank stare Rapid and voluntary eye movements exaggerated Galt are among the more observable effects auditory hallucinations acute anxiety feeling of impending doom paranoia violent hostility

Slight increase in breathing rate rise in blood pressure Party yeah, who doesn't want to be on this is fine. This is totally doable Violence suicide. Yeah Naja vomiting blurred vision all fun all good stuff. Well, that's like again, like I always point this out Like if you're feeling that way dial it back a little. Yeah, you know, I mean like you don't have to do that amount You're just saying do like a tiny bit of PCP. Can you get addicted to PCP? Like I said, it's probably not so It's fucking fine and weight loss you can get you can lose weight. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah

How do I take PCP isn't it okay? Oh Get wet just fucking smoke it powder or like yeah, I mean you can shoot it too I guess or snored it, but I mean, I don't know why you wouldn't just like sprinkle it into a cigarette or something, you know Yeah If you're just at a party and you're like here you want some like it's PCP. I just found PCP Yeah, I can't imagine because that happens at cool parties good parties. Yeah, good parties Tom. We need to bring back PCP Like let's start having parties at our house. Yeah, and hand out PCP to people and just see what happens I think the and have fights we can invite like rogan over

Bird and get them all hopped up on and just see who's the strongest You know, you know, you're not talking about fighting talk about deaths Yo, yeah, I'm gonna pitch this to Joe. Hear me out. Okay. How great is MMA fighting. It's great. How much better would it be if everyone was on PCP? Yeah You know, it sucks as they make those guys get tested. Yeah Stupid and they would probably give you like, you know, no one took like HGH, but That'd be so much better than steroids. Yeah, this is a special live event. It's like a pay-per-view. I would pay extra to see Yeah

It's true. All right How much better would it be? It'd be great. Connor regret it all fucking angry. I think he's pretty angry as it is Yeah, he's like, I got a fucking broken leg. I don't care. I'll fucking kick you with my broken leg Mm-hmm. You see him like getting all juiced. That's PCP, man. It's the fun the funnest drug in the world All right, opening clip. Here we go I was just about to get the underground from King's Cross station I thought I might as well just check to see what's on the front of the lead service And it's her

Wholesome Oh That Boner for trains yeah, it was really sweet it was I thought he was gonna talk about getting accepted to Hogwarts or something I mean, so sweet that is probably the next video. Yeah, he keeps you so excited I Mean It's someone just born that way. Is that like a like a disease?

You know, I mean touched as he talked I mean like how does somebody grow up to be like that? I think it's like he has the innocence of a child like a toddler He's you know, what the hell is he 16? No, baby's probably like 21. Okay, and he's like The train went choo choo. He's all excited for it I think you have to be a virgin and you have to be like so he's staying in like this bubble basically Like a non pussy bubble. Yeah Because if you're getting that excited for trains, yeah, what are you not getting excited about? Yeah, it's definitely D. Oh wet. I

Got it. Thanks Snatch all stop it What landed on your collar it's still there He's sweet. I don't like the Brits. I like how they're everything they say is interesting when they talk like that Yeah, how upset are you that Hogwarts doesn't really exist? I didn't really think about it. Oh, yeah I'm like mad because I love those movies. Yeah, and then I get upset because life sucks so bad that there's not really Hogwarts You don't feel that way No

We have two huge announces we need to make okay. Okay. Yep first announcement. Here we go big announce Hi I have added shows and new shows that are coming for the I'm coming everywhere for Northfield, Ohio on the 6th a January 6th a third shows been added fourth show added in Los Angeles, February 5th Early show added in Long Beach February 6th fourth show added in Toronto February 19th early show added in DC February 27th Which it all is added March 9th Portland, Maine has a third show added March 17th new shows in Vegas the 25th and 26th of March Big show in New York City March 31st the Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

Bakersfield April 28th San Francisco a third show April 29th Sacramento an early show May 5th Excuse me May 1st Fort Wayne, Indiana a late show May 20th Cincinnati, Ohio a new show May 28th Columbus, Ohio late show May 29th and Indian Apple tits June 11th A late show has been added. They're all at tomsaker.com slash tour and they're on sale now Thank you very much for your guys support. We're very very excited about it Let me do my dates too since we're talking. Well, this is an announcement. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I know it was like a new thing

And then I'm gonna send this to native you can go ahead and say your dates Okay, so by the time this this airs next Wednesday Well, I've already been in Raleigh. If not, I'm in Raleigh November 19th Atlanta at the punchline November 26th Salt Lake City Poo Toh for that weekend and then Lol, San Antonio. I go to Orlando, Florida the weekend of December 16th And then the big special taping January 22nd 2020 I'm sure tickets are probably gone for that live taping if they're not get them now the Gramercy at the Gramercy Theater in Jewdork titties and then I've also booked a bunch of dates for 2022 check back at Christina P online comm for those and

the other Wow announcement. Yeah, are you ready for it? I'm ready a fucking a Why makes life seven returns November 18th, it is a Thursday. It is the week before Thanksgiving You can watch live with us or you can watch it on a replay Thanksgiving weekend, which will be a lot of fun for you and your family Yep, it's a show and we're doing it here out of we're doing it here out of Guantanamo Bay and special guest Joe Rogan is joining us and

I got on an aeroplane yesterday for one of our very special segments and It's going to give you a snapshot if you will I don't know native if you've got what I just sent you via email if you can Oh, I'm jeans So I got an airplane Yep, and we filmed what I think is the game changer of all segments that we've ever done I

Spent the afternoon with the uncle shine. Oh my god. Look at you two together. Yeah, there we are I cannot believe you got to know the man. Yeah, that was in his neighborhood here so he walked on his neighborhood and then I Took him for a very special surprise that will we will get into later Reveal on the live show. Yeah. Yeah, but it is is though is the hardest I've ever laughed Yeah, while the most I've ever been scared. Yeah, I believe you it was the it was such a roller coaster of emotions I had the whole don't hold it one thing that I do want to say right now right now before before any of this Right now. I didn't know right now right now poor guy poor uncle shine

Has you a lot don't know this there's a lot of imitators and I was able to verify I Was able to verify What is his real Handle on Instagram. So you're saying that we you know, we need to follow the real Because there's all these people and and there's people that are taking his videos that have ten times the followers Yes, that's not cool. That's so disappointing. So if you want to follow the real guy on shine, right? This is our friend who we're all a huge fan of

It's the Uncle shine and uncles with a K So it's that might be why T. H. E. U. N. K. L. E. S. H. I. N. E. I held his phone And I went I was like, let me see this. Hey, what kind of phone does he have not a new one? So Anyway, that's the real account. So if you want to follow the real guy, that's the real account. Oh my god That's the real account. Yeah, it looks like that's a hundred twenty eight followers. Oh This guy needs help. That's what I'm saying. There's people posting his videos. I have like 20,000 followers Not cool. So you guys if you would give them or give the real guy a follow

I got it. Yeah, that's him. This makes so much more sense than anything. Wow Does he know he only has to upload at once and then it goes those are all different uploads. Oh So he just gets creative bursts and then he'll do like 20 at the same time. So a very nice way of putting it He said some of the most amazing things I've ever heard anybody say. Well, don't say no I'm not like it'll be on the live show. We got Rogan. We have some other special treats Well, and also we're gonna give you guys a deeper look at Guantanamo Bay you're gonna see a little more of the workings here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. I mean There's a oh my god, there's what I had a Pajiski effect the other day

So I've been I've been working out a lot lately Yeah, and one of the things I also do is I got I got a side of going these walks and I found this There's this walk by our house that has a Hill that's like it's a notable like it's a steep incline And I would say if you power through it, you could probably do it in like, you know, I Don't know. Let's say 90 seconds or so right like a minute and a half you put and then you get to the top and then You know you continue on the walk, but that's the that's the hardest part is that because it's a steep incline

So I've done it a few times and I'm like, man, I wish that was that was longer You know because you could feel you could feel the work in that hill Yeah, and then Sean came over the other day And I was like, well, let's go on this walk. I'll show you this walk I go on we're walking and talking we do that hill Yeah, and then we go down. He's like Let's do it again. I was like what? He's like, let's just do the hill again. Yeah, cuz this is hard. Yeah, dude again You can do it again. I was like, I never thought you could do it again

And he was like, why don't we do it like five times? I was like, that would be so much more work And he was like, right be like a good workout. I was like, I never thought about doing it again He was like, yeah, that's the first thing I thought is we should do it again He's so nice about it. Yeah, Sean will never shame you and we did it like five times. I was like, that was hard Yeah, cuz we kept doing it Right like you I basically did a push-up and I was like, I wish I could make this more work And so it was like you could do more push-ups Yeah, cuz you're like, but there's only this one hill and yeah, I was like, this is the hill

This is the workout and I already went to the top But then you can go down you can go down and go up again. Yeah What the fuck are you talking about right now, man? What is this that our brain just goes like, nope, those are the rules. Yeah, those are the rules I go by Can't I know So so some updates on the Pajitski effect. So Rob Eiler of pajama pants podcast, right? Yeah, he said that a lot of people I don't know if I've said that's already forgive me if I'm repeating a lot of people call him AJ jr

Are these characters already Anthony jr. And they're like you're AJ jr. On the show. That's really funny Number two. Yami Lee of pajama pants Also thought that boneless chicken wings were the meat ripped off the tiny bones and then reconstituted So I'm not the only one in town. Okay. Okay Thirdly, I had a very embarrassing Pajitski effect yesterday To the point where I'm so fucking embarrassed that I'm not sure I should share this with the audience Because I think I may get shamed off the planet. That's how fucking dumb I am But I'm gonna do it because I love you guys and I think these are fun

So I get off the airport here in tex. I get off the airport I got the plane yesterday or whatever it was sunday from colorado. Yeah And I look at the sign that says atx and I thought to myself austin tex And my brain Now hold on hold on in my defense You actually called me and you go, do you know what atx stands for? I was like, uh, yeah How did you know you were like, what have you been reading?

Well, hold on now hear me out because Okay, but pdx is not Port Portland decks. It's it's it makes no fucking sense. Right. Right Portland x. There's some places where I know what you're saying. So I that's what the reason that That's the reason that that is that sometimes people refer to certain cities by their airport code. Correct, right? So I thought atx was like, oh, that's our airport code lax Right x is also isn't x a thing that's in a lot of airport codes though. Yeah, but what's the significance of the x? I don't know because that is lax. You're right. Yeah, I don't know why

X means. Oh, uh, what about Atlanta? Isn't a what's Atlanta? There's an excellent read that Uh Phx is phoenix such air sports. What does it say? There are nws codes simply expanded an x. I don't understand. I don't fucking know Okay, I don't know but yeah, do we not find an answer? No Where's the song? Some airports you guys have retained the and They're nws codes and simply appended an x so in lieu of nws, which I don't know what that is

Right, so what's the nws? You know what it is You're gonna say it. Yeah What if they're like we used to call it that and you know in light of recent All airport codes had the n word in them They're like guys, it's insensitive. We can't go. Yeah, um, what's the nws? Oh fucking hell How do you not automatically like how does your brain go? I'll find out the next thing. I was trying to

I'm just looking it's just saying nws lax phx I don't know. I'm trying to look for it. I just can't find it as quickly as you want it. I'm sorry Hurry up and find that shit All right, I think I found Canada's codes Look at Codes are often named after the airport itself Well, another code is reserved for the city itself

Suggesting the last two letters. No, that's not it. I know what I'm saying is this exhausting the very first result we found said The nhs. Yeah, it just replaces the nws. So it's like what is the nws? That would be your next search, right? Wouldn't that be the natural what what is nws code or whatever airport code nws. What if it is? I'm saying this is just a rabbit hole now the complete list of eas event codes brought it's like what What's eas What is the nws No, no, no

No I'm like I can't even be mad at the dog because I'm the dummy that You know like I'm dumber than him with atx I feel like I can't shame him right now Right, but wouldn't you put like what is nws airport code national weather service? Okay So the national weather service so it was replacing

X is replacing with the national weather service. I don't know would label it by What? I fucking I just gave you a raise All right, so Yeah Yesterday, I know all right, so I know God nothing works Just surrender tom, you know, it's

Life is imperfect all the time Anyways, I thought I was pretty r-worded ATX and and you know what's what I love about these pejitski effects is that it just blows it really You can feel the neural pathways in your brain changing when you have these epiphanies like you're I can walk up the hill twice like your brain re reorients. It's just I literally you don't even know this I've done that walk several times And several several times been like I wish this was a little harder. That's it Like I thought to myself

Well, I wish this was like a longer thing so I get like more work out of this You know, I mean like make it like a little more strenuous hike Yeah, but you never occurred to me to repeat the strenuous part, right? All right. Yeah, why don't we allow ourselves these things? It's so funny I don't know I definitely thought it was a Like not I didn't understand that it was for austin texas either. No, I had no I thought that ATX was just because A us was already taken by by australia or austria is a us austria or australia. It's us

Oh Shit God this rabbit hole goes deep now any is usually as dumb as I am when it comes to these things. So i'm always Yeah, I'm always really happy. Yeah right because a us Wait, but australia is not an airport. Well, no, who would look you looked up australia airport code But a us stands for to confirm. It's not atx. It's syd. Well, no, that's Sydney. That's sydney That's in australia. There's not like welcome to the airport of australia

But a us isn't that austria What's the airport in spain? Like a fucking they have multiple cities the spain airport. You don't just fly into spain Holy shit Man I take me to spain. I don't mean give me a ticket. This is what you're teaching our kids Holy shit so many remixes on the interwebs of her the nwa lady. It was pretty great. I'm pretty great. Also the The uh, what is it on the latest one?

There, uh, I guess we wouldn't we have been you know, we're talking about the national weather association. We keep talking about the weather Yeah, so they sent in Weather update intro submissions So we have uh, it looks like this all this one's from the great, uh, grass kingdoms. Oh, I love grass kids Y'all come back now you hear i'll be honest with you. That's amazing Yesterday. Yeah, a lot hotter than it's been before A lot hotter. Yeah than the previous week at night time. Very humid. You're commenting on the humidity Well, because for the previous like two weeks, it's it's been cool. Yes

And yesterday I don't know where you guys wouldn't believe it was real hot. Yeah Well, and what's interesting too is that it led to a thunderstorm early this morning Powerful awoken to the sound of thunder. Yeah and rain. Yeah, what an interesting climate we live and I just love it Because I was in mom ver which was delightful. Thank you to everybody that came out. What powerful shows I went to denver airport and I was overcome with satanic Penile phallic messages, but before that I the weather was very cold and I had to wear a jacket. Wow And I thought that was different. I love that we're in jacket season. They know jacket season the best

Um, another submission for weather updates is by brian porter So we can play Either one of these whenever we have a cool weather update and um, if this would play here we go What in the world is going on with the weather? If only someone could help make some sense of all this For that we turned to tim and christine of mom's house for the answers Amazing mom's house Very good

Thank you both. Thank you guys for the uh intro music. We'll try to keep you guys updated on the weather here as often as we can um There's something else that I wanted to play Fucking shit Here we go. Oh, yeah Hi, my name is jasper. I use they pronouns. Hi, my name is leona. I use they demon pronouns This video is how to use our pronouns Oh

So we're going to basically present three sentences Um, one of them is going to have one pronoun the other one's going to have the other pronoun And the last one is going to have both pronouns interchanged See what I thought was cool Is that I've never heard demon as a pronoun. No, and I'm excited to hear how to properly use them So we don't offend the demon community So leona uses they them pronouns and demon pronouns So the first sentence would be leona is my partner. They are cute and I am theirs

I love them very much and I hope they love themselves too. I got it for the demon pronouns. It would be Leona is my partner deem is cute and I belong to deem I love demon very much and I hope deem loves demon self too Love it. Thank you so much Please make a note of it. Okay noted The the absolute insanity The insanity to think that you can just put out a statement like that and know everybody has to do it Otherwise you get to claim that they're

They're hateful So it's so crazy. Tom. What's your pronoun this week? I don't know if they fags or what? God that was perfect. Thank you Yeah Wait, before I forget. Oh, yeah, can I commend Dave Chappelle on his statement that he came out with? Oh, yeah, it was masterful. It was really great. I was there alive Please tell me everything. So so let's recap the story. I just I just think this is so phenomenal

I knew something was gonna happen. So because there's been all this like turmoil, you know, yeah around like Dave's special and And he um, you know, he I was backstage with him and I found out that um, he got disinvited From film festivals that his documentary was gonna air at and so The show was was bananas. It was at at the uh Bridgestone arena in Nashville Fucking sold out to like the raster like pack pack pack. Those are two powerhouses three powerhouses All you guys together is just now. I mean so DJ trauma

Jeff Ross Donnell And then I go up I bring up joe and then joe brought up Chappelle and I knew because you know when there's like someone's in controversy But everyone's there. I was like this is gonna be a Wild reception and we all got wild receptions. I mean they got we got standing goes to walk to the stage. It's amazing So when he came out it was just Yeah, just absolute

Chaos chaos. Yeah And when he finished his set He uh, he sat on the stool and he was like he's like i'll need a camera and he recorded that statement Okay, and and he said it in the statement. He said It started off. He goes, um You know, he said it's been said that I was invited by the The transgender employees at netflix to have a sit-down and that I declined and that is not true

Hmm. He said I will I would meet with them, but I will not be summoned You have to meet with me under my conditions and terms. So, you know, he listed His terms were like, I think it was the place and time of his choosing Did you wonder I have his exact? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you like mary. Sure. Go ahead He added to the transgender community I am more than willing to give you an audience But you will not summon me great and oh, I am not bending to anyone's demands And if you want to meet with me, I am more than willing to but I have some conditions. Yeah continued. This is amazing

First of all, you cannot come if you have not watched my special from beginning to end. Thank you. Yeah Praise Allah. What is fucking a 100 percent? Yeah, you must watch it and understand it shitheads You must come to a place of my choosing at a time of my choosing And thirdly, you must admit that hannah gatsby is not funny. Yeah I mean If he's not my favorite comedian of all time, he always was over on each other I mean Because we were standing at the stage for like the curtain call and we were watching him do that. We did that

We were like Fell over on the balls on this guy. Yeah, and that's why he's brilliant and just the greatest. I mean Finally somebody fucking said that out loud number one and and well and also, you know, if you're listening She spoke out against him Which in the comedy world, that's like ratting on your peers. Okay, you don't fucking you hold the line Because if one of us caves and we eat each other then freedom of speech is gone Okay, you must hold the line that we're all in this in this fraternity sorority together You may not it's completely fucked up. Yeah, it's um

Good for him. It is awesome to see and I I'm so Thankful that the guy at the top is a guy like that, you know Yes, because the guy at the top could be or a woman at the top could be You know a piece of shit like somebody else who doesn't stand for the rest of us Yeah, and when you have a guy at the top who goes there's a wimp. Yeah, you could have a wimp But you have a guy who's like no i'm here in the name of like comedy and I go for jokes and like and also Stop reading just press club. I mean, I experienced something similar, you know a similar thing and when disgraceful came out

It's not the same scale or um the same level of fame but like I mean to me it feels a very like a very similar thing and You feel like the world hates you and then the worst part was all the people who like Didn't watch it. Yeah, you're mad about something. You didn't watch they're like no, but I read this thing You're like a comedy isn't digested that way, you know No, and it's interesting too because if you've ever been cancelled before which I think both of us they've come after you it's usually

It's like you it's like whatever's in the zeitgeist of the moment is what people are fired up about and then they'll attack you on that And also it's so ironic the people that are coming. So one of the women that are that's going after Dave Um It's so great She's like yeah transphobic and they did a deep dive on her twitter feed and her twitter feed is so racist So racist talking about how much she hates chinese people and this and that and you're like slurs and everything Yo, and like threatening to beat up Asian people and like you're the one that's pointing a finger. That's usually when it happens, right? Yeah, the hypocrites

Yeah, the person who's like Pointing at you the hardest you you go. Well, let's let's dig through your life a little bit see what you've done Oh, that is scary. You know, what's so interesting is that The the woke today are what the bible beaters were in the 80s and the 90s remember when like they would protest Ozzy Osbourne is satanic and Nwa like we need stickers to the children. We have to save the children and now it's the it's the left going We have to save you from the children. This whole shit. You fucking retard Yeah

A hundred percent. It's this it is nonsense. It is absolute silly Well, let's have a couple laughs. All right. I just want to show me your boobs. All right, show me I want to laugh. I want to have a good. I want to have a good laugh here. I want to laugh All right. Dem Damon horrible or hilarious. Oh geez Riding a basically again That's a scooter seems like it's fine I That's why I don't like those scooters

He that motherfucker took the full impact on his head. He might have a different life right now You know, I mean like there's his pre scooter ride life I mean, that's his frontal lobe. Yeah, you know I'm glad I got to see that moment when everything changed for him Oh I think you missed that I did I saw it in my periphery Is that person naked an underwear? I saw this clip a while ago. There's theories that um

that she is in a guy's apartment and is Exiting the easy way. I think so I think you're right. You know, it's usually what that is. I mean She lands and crushes a car and then she's like my tailbone hurts Ouchy She break her legs That's gotta break everything. I would seem like it would I mean, there's no through the fucking roof of that car Yo, I would just take the beating from the wife. I think so. I think I would be like, you know, what?

Fuck did something bad. Yeah. Yeah, my bad. I'm a real knucklehead not gonna jump off the balcony You're not even wearing your glove Why would you call me out on the fucking Why would you not wear it just shut the fuck up already I know why you're feeling a little defeated you're feeling a little defeated Because the fans weighed in on a subject We'll get to that in a moment. Sure All right, hold on

Oh I hate it. I don't like it He's walking That guy's the best attitude of anybody I've ever seen in my life Just walk walking it off. He said damn, bitch. You couldn't see And then and then she just drove off and he just hollered at her. He's not like stop. He's just like fucking bitch Yeah, he's so stunned and then I

You bitch ass. Yeah, but he just talked shit hit him with a car. He's like, it's all right. You're driving off, but yeah Jesus Christ, he's not even stunned that she's driving away. It's so funny. Yeah That is terrible. He's just he had his head in there. He was working on the on the end Yeah, it's amazing. Damn, bitch. Um, so is uh, is the Clip in the new folder of the breathing or is it in last weeks? Uh, that's in last weeks, you know, I'm actually afraid to to revisit this clip. Oh, no, I'm glad we're gonna revisit it I'm milk you before we do this because I'm a little afraid All right. Uh-oh. What's it called?

God, uh, here, you know what I could play it on mine. Yeah All right, he's already pissed going Oh Okay Here's some of the messages that have come in I breathe I refelt the energy of the first time You know when you revisit you're like, oh, that was so much worse than I remember it. Yeah, it was pretty cool It is cool. Shit Yeah, um

So what's the debate? Let's well, so the debate that we should set that up. It's a good point We just played the clip the debate is whether or not the man Is making the noise is it him wheezing or somebody else in the room? Is what you claim that the the person photographing him videoing him is Okay, where's the the genesis of the wheeze is it the wheeze him or is it somebody else in the room you can you can Hear that it's like distressed Right breathing labored breathing labored breathing. Correct So here are some of the e-mails and messages that came in ready

As an icu nurse of six and a half years that wheezing is a hundred percent coming from that guy As any says the breathing gets louder when his mouth opens and no you don't always see their chest moving while they wheeze I'm fully on christine's side on this one. Todd is talked and you're fucking blocked Okay, i'm sorry again read her credentials. Go ahead What kind of message? I see you nurse for nine years. Oh, it says I failed nursing school. So It says jesus christine. It's so obvious the video of the guy licking the air isn't him breathing You can't be that talked. Todd is right. Nick. Lawrence who's getting a free merch bag Listen tim you are fully talked. It's definitely his breathing team christine

Uh, the audio in question is actually garth victims watching this old man as they slip away That's a good theory too Tom is correct about the breathing dania spot on he's laying next to his sleeping wife making a talk to show off His cuddling is prowess to the talkers And then I can't believe she doesn't hear the second breather michael carol Um, so it would seem that it is a debate But you know what's funny though is that you actually when we watched it later you actually said you switched your opinion Well, i'll tell you why it's it's much like the home here now

Or homey on out, you know and once somebody can suggest you suggests it, right? Yeah, it's it's like Yeah, it's brainwashing you brainwashed me and you badgered me enough so that I Switched my position by the end because I feared for my life. I feared for the our children and I had to agree Otherwise I would get beaten violently Stop calling me daddy. Oh my god. And by the way, we've got the memo. Everyone keeps letting me know that it's daddy big But yeah daddy now going not going big, but we got it. Thank you. You can stop submitting It has been sent many many times. We know um

And also That was a good one Yeah, I don't know. Was that was that bad? No, I liked it. Okay. Um, there's something else. Um, They came in that is daddy bro. God that's really taking the nation by storm daddy let it go This is an amazing one though. This this one's gonna be because like I'll say this I'll listen to more people whose opinion is that he's breathing and I'll know No, I I like to know my enemies in life. I like I want to know So you just you you just let me know in your message, you know, I'll fucking cut you out of my life

All right, so I got this message. Okay Okay, here we go This is insane. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hey, Tom. Hey, Christine Long time listener first time writer So I just found out that my wife worked with a relative of garth Brooks The co-worker is actually a first cousin of his wife trish So trish recently came to visit family out here in eastern long island new york So once my wife heard the news she asked her co-worker to ask trish

You know what a banana split is And once she asked trish, she said god damn it What the hell is with that and the comments on facebook and twitter? My poor garth even considered taking down his facebook My wife and I laughed so fucking hard when her co-worker told us and because of that My wife and I got uninvited to the co-worker's daughter's wedding Because they don't want to risk me or my wife asking garth where the bodies are buried Much love keep them high and tight

Sue woo. Wow And may I commend this mommy? Yeah for choosing us over her own family. Yeah, I really appreciate that. Yeah Not getting invited to the wedding. Is that what it was? Yeah uninvited I'm gonna play with your booty Wow, we're just so we're so close to garth. Do you think he would ever come on the show and and No Definitely no, we don't know that. Hey, we had fucking Booking um gloria as stefan on this show if you're a long time listener

You you remember she came on after we after you remixed her song to be a fart song Yeah, gloria stefan came on this show. That was why I was in the studio. I was in the lab working on that That took you hours. I know I remember. I mean, I was not like a seasoned Pro going like, you know, here's how you do like I was like meticulously putting farts on her horns garage bad Yeah, like you did it like in your in your computer. Yeah, and then her husband Emilio got it So funny. What what key is that? What key is that farting tom? Is that the f? Yeah, she had such a great sense of humor about it. And you know, I'm hoping that garth might have a similar

Sense of good humor about it. You never know. You never know. Maybe trish will come on. I don't know. Yeah Come on. Trick your buddy, baby. Do that come good. No, you take a trace of I mean every time I hear right now I think of it It's pretty great. Yeah, that was a good time. That was a fun era. Um, yeah Another thing that's kind of fun is that you mentioned that your type Is vincent gallo love him and uh, I guess some digging was done and it turns out he provides Uh, escort services get the fuck out of here. How much is uh 50 grand

That's okay Wish dream or fantasy with vincent gallo ladies only have you ever watched a movie and fall in love with one of the actors The way they looked or a character they played afterwards you thought of them over and over a day dreaming imagining things sexy things Um It says when I was very young I was madly in love with uh, tuesday weld and charlotte Rampling on my 14th birthday. I went to see the film rolling thunder and had my biggest crush on all the on the actress linda Haynes a wish and wished every day I could meet all these girls

I thought a lot of sexy things with susan Blakely after seeing her in lords of flatbush in my mind. I could do he really rambles to the fucking whether anything I wanted to so believe me. I know and understand what it's like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star This guy's out of his guy out of his fucking mind I love doing things that couples do couples in love at least couples where the guy is hot and knows how to handle a chick Dude, I knew he was awesome. See I told you and his at his photo that he's holding his crush Dude because he's been some fucking gallo bro. I've been some gallo star of such classics Sixty socks the brand I decided to make myself available to all women who can afford me

I love the modesty of 50,000 plus expenses. I can fulfill the wish dream or fantasy of any naturally born female The fee covers one evening Hold on for those who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend the fees increase to a mere 100,000 Oh, wow. Heavy set older red heads and even black chicks Oh Wow Can have me if they can pay the bill That's a that's a loaded sentence pal. It is you might want to rework that one

Well natural born chicks was a little heavy and then it got to that Yeah, no real female will be refused. However, I highly front upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought They could ever become my client. No way. Jose. However Female couples of the lesbian persuasion could enjoy a visit gallo evening. This is amazing 200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend A weekend that will have them second get I'm willing to travel worldwide We know the clients however travel days are built at 50,000 per plus premium flight fees Well, hold on the travel you have to scan for std's and all that So but he wants 50,000 for the actual sex act and then 50 per travel day. Yeah

Plus travel expenses. This is it's expensive. It's expensive. I mean, especially, you know, if like you're black so, um Wait, so hold on to fly him to texas. It's 50 grand to get him on the plane I mean unless you could fly him to if he's wait a minute. I'm doing the Gramercy theater, january 22nd My netflix taping He's in new york city. You don't have to pay for a travel day. I mean natural born woman. Yeah You're not black or redhead fat or redheaded. Yeah babe

This is flocking. I I knew the guy was off. You know what? I'm gonna Venmo you right now Babe, hey our anniversary is coming up november 8th. Can you yep? Would you mind? No problem? Thanks, buddy Uh, do you want to do the this offer because he also offers? His sperm you can read this. This is amazing I'm like about how incredible this guy is price includes all costs related to one attempt at in virtual fertilization a $50,000 value If the first attempt at in virtual fertilization is unsuccessful purchaser of sperm must pay all medical costs related to additional attempts He's offering his sperm for one million dollars That's a bargain when you think about how attractive and talented he is

Sperm is 100 guaranteed to be donated by mr. Gallow who is drug alcohol and disease free Really drugs? The sperm chooses the option of natural insemination. There's an additional charge of $500,000 Um, it goes on and on as as we discovered he is um, he's 511 and has blue eyes I love that known no known genetic deformities in his ancestry. No cripples in parentheses He actually writes in there Um, he actually writes in there if uh If you have seen the brown bunny, you know the potential size of the genitals if it's a boy

And then in parentheses eight inches If he's like his father I don't know exactly how a well-hung father can enhance the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt Oh All right, mr. Gallow also Presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of 43 has surprisingly few gray hairs I gotta tell you something. I'm really digging this guy more than I ever had. That's what I'm saying This is one of the best things I've seen. Yeah, like he's he's different. He's special

Yeah, and I and I sense this back in like the day like back when brown bunny came out Yeah, um buffalo 66 is when I first saw him with Christina Ricci and I was like this guy is Something there Vincent if you're watching this huge fans you feel I mean, I don't know if we can afford $50,000 Just to fly you out To be a guest. I'd like that. Well, do you want it to be I mean overnight guests? I don't know I mean, he's pretty clear about that like are you saying do you want to be a podcast guest or like spend the night? I mean, would you be interested in watching? Yeah He doesn't mention the three way

He doesn't mention it. I kind of want I kind of want I kind of would like to see what he would do I'm not gonna lie. I'd be interested and be like, hey, what like what are your moves? Like, what do you do? It's not a bad idea. Maybe don't don't try to like sell me on that one. Yeah, it's not a bad idea I'm just saying I am curious for the show. I think we should do this research. I agree We should probably do the research for the sake of your mom's house. So why am I exclusive? We should invite him to and I will take the bullet and take the eight inch bullet the eight inch bullet I will sacrifice myself for Vincent Gallo. So you are you are very attracted to him I I find him very interesting. Don't beat like I hate when people use

Like manipulative language. Why don't you just say I think he's super hot Why would you be like, I Think there's something going on Like just tell me that you find him attractive He's got kind of a Manson look to him too, doesn't he look like Charles Manson a little bit Yeah, but he looks like you he does not look like he does those blue eyes and the same features He looks just like you. That's why I like him. Do you are you attracted to this man? Of course. Yeah, he's Vincent Gallo. How hard is that to say so handsome

Did you say it Because I have a hard time because you're my husband and I love you and I You're my I like I've been with you for so long that I can't I can't say that I don't think so. Why because I love you. I'm loyal to you dipshit. I love you fucking dummy Why because I don't let myself go there in my even in my head you stupid correct. You just pitched sleeping with him as research What that was for the show or this is real life. We're talking about real life You like Vincent Gallo, baby. I like you. I can't don't don't have this conversation with me. I don't enjoy this We're gonna fly him fucking out

To do to do research for the show You don't want to talk about the fact that you find Vincent Gallo attractive I'm a little scared of him too. I'm that's probably gonna make it more exciting He's gonna he's gonna register that fear by the way This is not his first run around the block. How many women do you think have purchased his services zero, but I think he gives out some free beatings every now and then too, you know 50 grand That's a lot of money for a lady to yeah, and actually I don't think it's zero. I bet a couple have done it I think so some wealthy. Yeah

Yeah, you know what that's probably it probably happened once and he was like I'm gonna put this on my website What other what other offers are there on? Yeah, what else is on the site? Yeah, this is fucking pretty amazing like a regular site I knew this guy was special though. I did I sensed that something different was happening. Look at that guy I mean his site his site's crazy. That looks like a fucking mugshot This guy's like amazing So special new merchandise available now Uh classifies

Photographs biography artwork. What's the classifies? Let's see Wanted hi-fi any and all audio equipment. Okay, so he's just he wants to buy audio equipment Oh Some guitars some microphones He's starting a band. Mm-hmm. It looks like Shirts and clothes made by granny takes a trip. Oh shirts made by mr. Fish of London He says I can does he say I can help you like make a few bucks for yourself at the end of that What's the last sentence say?

Of course Yeah, if you can help me and of course make a few bucks for yourself, that would be great So it's kind of like you should hook me up with this, but I'll give you a little cash All right, all right, so that's the classifies uh merch Let's see Can I tell you why I love this? Yeah This guy, so you know how we're talking about different kinds of crazy It's regional crazy like the california crazy is the guy who wears a fedora and is vegan

Austin crazy is its own kind and then this is like old school new york crazy Like gg allen crazy. It actually feels like a step back in time. He feels yeah, like we're watching the guy in the 70s Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, or it's like those gay guys that are like in their late 50s now in new york Yeah, like rpc is like vintage New york gay guy like that kind of night. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, it feels like a step back in time. Yeah, it's so rad I love this And what's he does he currently do stuff? I haven't just kept up like go to his imdb I don't know what he's up to like is he up to move is he doing movies still

Because wasn't he writing those movies? So so brown bunny had chloe savini nene And there was a bj scene that just destroyed Her reputation and his reputation. It was considered too far And I think it really hurt scrolling down both their careers It was so sad. It was just some bj scene, you know, yeah, and everybody was like you can't make chloe savini a Suck your d on a movie dude. That's she's like a nice. She's an a list actress. What are you doing? So he took the the heat for that kind of you know, she took the and she took the yeah So I think that was you know, that was tough

Also, wait, what is that? It looks like he's working on some on a short from 2019 that he's directing He's also okay. So he's directing stuff. Yeah, he's directing stuff and he's producing the same thing. All right. That's cool He's a wild dude I bet he's a wild dude to like hang out. That's what I'm saying. I kind of want to pay the You would always be like, what the fuck are we doing now? Yeah Like I want to fly him to Texas and have dinner with him and just watch him talk. I agree I'll joke about PCP and then he'd be like It's right here

100% He would be like, oh, you guys got PCP amazing And then no, but he is drug-free, but he would be he would be doing some weird wild shit. I didn't even know he had an instagram He's got an instagram Yeah Well, you got a new follower You got a new follower and 50 grand coming your way pal Just want some step-by-step instructions on how to get wild the v the vg way. Oh my god, babe

He follows donald trump. It's the only person he follows hilarious. Yeah, see that's old school crazy right there Yeah, he's fantastic What an interesting fella. Most of your day with vinson. I as think would be just spent going What? It's it's um, I love that. I know that your type is Crazy, well, yeah, what do you think? I'm not crazy. Oh Okay Okay

Babe, you don't see the any resemblance the blue eyes. Okay brown hair. Listen, you can't be like do you see resemblance? See you're already flying. No, no, no, like kooky shoes. Okay. You know what any you remind me of obama You don't see the resemblance Look at the beard the the the crazy fucking okay. Let's pull the hair. Let's pull the room His intensity look at the intense gaze. He's out of his fucking mind like you And oh, oh, you don't think when we first started dating tommy. Do you remember this the first look at those eyes The first red flag was I like you so much. I want to rip your eyes out I want to I want to fucking stab you so hard. You would say shit like that to me

remember no um Do you guys see the uh us being similar? I think I think that there's situations where you guys look like each other like if he Doesn't shave his beard then yeah, but I mean you look like a lot of bearded guys But once you take the beard off. Yeah, you don't look like him. Yeah Okay, in my opinion But you haven't seen tom without a beard. It's true. Well, he has photos

Who is that in the middle there? Is that him? Yeah, no, no underneath that. That's him. What is he doing? I don't know. I don't think he's 42 though. That seems a bit young He's I know it does seem young doesn't seem right. I think he's 50 probably. Yeah Because he's I think when buffalo 66 came out dude. He's like yeah, he's older than me when that came out It's also it's always strange When a guy's not up front with the I know it's like society doesn't care a weird one But if he's selling sperm he might want to make it seem like fresher sperm

Yeah, so I understand the marketing there in that crazy show with his eyes wide open That's why What's up, bro come at me. That's a fucking look do it tom. Yeah, I mean this is like twins twins Samesies you don't see that. No, this is every look at the every shot of him eyes wide. Hmm. Yeah, that's not how most people's pictures are taken That is straight out of a hospital I like his looks I like uh, I like Luke Wilson I would I would like to I would watch the reality show of you two dating Who?

You and Vincent Gallo I'd be tortured. I would be I would be fucking front row like yeah That'd be like Good morning. I roll over. He's just looking at me. Yeah, he's just fucking staring at you. I was up till 4am crocheting. You're like, what? I made a macrame painting of you. Yeah He does weird crafts and shit. I bet a lot more than weird crafts. I bet he doesn't he says he doesn't do drugs That is so strange. I don't think that's accurate. I know and also really disappointing Now who's your celebrity? You always do this. What what what? It's not fair

How come I give you Vincent Gallo? You give me nothing. You give me nobody I don't know Who's this? I don't have a celebrity crush a regular person crush, which is even scarier scarier You can't be like, you know, susan down the street at the bank like your dad Susan at the bank, right like you can't You're not supposed to have real life people when you're married dipshit. It's like hey susan Yeah, I guess she was opening a checking account

Remember when your dad would go to the bank teller and try to hit on her Do I remember? Do you know how many times I've heard that absolutely horrifying story? Yeah And the worst was asking him Oh my god, you know, sometimes you you like you lose yourself a little bit when you're Wanting advice and you make the huge mistake of asking your parents. Yes And I was like I was in like some type of turmoil About this girl and this was like my god. I think this was like I'm in college still I don't know. I'm not telling my friends

And I'm just talking to him with it and I just I just it just like slips out because it's it's a bothering me I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm just like I like this girl and I don't know and he was and he was you know, I'm sure Obviously trying to be like a comforting Father to his son. He's like, why don't you give her a call? And I was like, yeah, you know, I want to I'm like not even registering that I'm talking to him The worst of us in the world and I'm like I go I just don't know what to say

I don't know what to say dad and he was like well say You're a nice gal I'd like to take you out Maybe dance or something And then it I snapped out of it. I was like the fuck did you just say like you're a nice gal I want to take you to dance. He like well, I'll say what how you would say that and I was like, I I can't believe I just told you this

Like I go this is one of the absolute biggest regrets of my life so far is sharing this with you I know and the worst is that then he'd follow up Did you call that gal? I was like she died, you know Oh What is that? Is that is it a function of age that you just get so checked out that you Talk like that or is it just that all our our parents are just talked

Because my parents are equally horrible advice. Just horrible um It's so generationally different. I think yeah, and I also feel like You would probably always give different advice To like your kid. I mean our kids are super young But like if they need advice, you're probably you're just going to talk to them like so carefully Right because you're like so normal parents. Yeah My mother I'll never forget this. I had a boyfriend

Who cheated on me? Cheated on me. The guy calls my mother As I'm like, yo, we're done like I cut him off like you're fucking you're dead to me, bro You're out deuces. Wow. Yeah And he fucking calls my mother my mother calls me and tries to convince me to get back together with that guy Why? Uh She was really crazy. I mean, but can you think of anything worse?

I know and to try to sell your and were you like no, we're done and she's like why done Yeah, she's like, well, I think he's a very nice guy. You know, he called me and he told me she liked it He told her Yeah, and it became her fun time to try to convince me to get back with someone who was not suitable for me clearly, which was Is one of those many events where I realized my mom was not on my side that's um It's okay. It's a decade of therapy. I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah There you are, bitch. I don't think she's up there. Yeah

She's somewhere she's somewhere different, you know, it took me a lot It took me longer to realize that I can look I can talk to my dad about women in a hilarious fashion Yeah, so like therefore hearing the bank stories, you know, I said I really like Like when you wear that red dress You go back and she's got the red dress on bingo My favorite of all time though is when you start up a conversation with a lady You can ask them things like what's your favorite sweetener. Do you like splenda or sweetener?

That was a fucking I was like the fuck does that mean he's like you got to get the conversation started He actually has a point. Yeah, it's just not the best example I mean if a guy walked up to me at barstux And i'm stirring my coffee and he's like do you prefer splenda or sweetener? I'd be like, what are you fucking retarded get away from me Like what do you care asshole? Like I wouldn't think that's normal, but here's the thing I think I agree with you, but I think it's because we're picturing my dad. Oh, yeah, you're like you're fucking old But if it was like a guy who was like, you know, like a hot guy Vincent Gallo if you're like and he's like he goes like

What do you prefer? Do you prefer sweetener or pcp in your coffee? You would be like, oh Yeah Hi, hi, and he's like I got an eight inch piece in my pocket right now And you're like, okay. He's definitely done a lot of pcp. Maybe he doesn't do it now, but I think he's done some before Yeah, yeah Probably

Yeah, how about this guy? Who's your lady? Hi guys? My high meat is one year old now So i'm gonna eat it all at once just for you guys. Oh my whatever I have left here It's the oldest meat I've ever seen I don't like it. It's gotten pretty dry now pretty dry now Because of how long it's been sitting there. You can't do this Smells like acidic mushrooms You can't do this. You can't do this, right? I'm gonna eat it all at once

Oh my god, I have the chills. Oh my god, I have the chills Oh my stomach I'm gonna fucking die There's too much I can't even get it all in God this is terrible. It's fermented meat. Yeah, like rotten meat. How can you eat that? How do you not die from eating this? The bacteria doesn't kill you? I don't know. How is Vincent Gallo alive? Well, very strong. Yeah, no shit

Not bad. Not bad. This guy is definitely Very strong. Oh, I see Hungarian I'm gonna fucking that really goes in your throat Big time. Yeah, duh a year a year. It's happened. You can't you can't You can't eat this, right? I can't I can't I can't I'm done I'm like eating chili Fucking hell Fuck

Wow, that was terrible terrible. So there there for a while was a tick tock lane of men eating fermented meats And they keep them in jars like this. Why what's what's the point of this? What is the point? It's got great bacteria healthy bacteria in there. It's all this good stuff these cultured probiotics Like these psychos that think eating raw meat is good for you. It's like dude. No fire No, is that her again? I'm gonna get you again. I know let's do it again. No, that's right. Do this All right, fine. How do you do this? I love this couple. It's so funny. Of course you love it because it's the guy torturing the girl. Yeah It's so funny and she knows right whenever she sees the camera. She's like, no, we're please don't please don't let's not do this

I agree. Let's not do this. Okay. I thought it was very funny. I love their dynamic. It's fun You know, I'm losing trust in you because of this. Yeah, you keep showing me bad things. All right God you're so horrible What do you think's going on here? Hey, what's up bitches on youtube? This is me devin And right now my dad just made some eggs. I was So i'm gonna have an egg salad sandwich and hopefully I don't take a big shit tomorrow, but I probably will

So i'm gonna eat that egg salad sandwich and try not to think about my shit that i'm gonna have the next day this morning tomorrow Because I eggs really gives me the shits I'm gonna eat that sandwich like a proud man and be happy for it. Thanks daddy poo. Bye bitches on you Yeah, well, you and I were having a we had that conversation conversation this morning this morning, yeah Because you had had an egg and the in the yolk was a little runny and it was no it wasn't running That's the thing that's the thing is like the I feel like the only way I can eat eggs and not have Any stomach issue is scrambled. Yeah

You know, but if they're fried if they're poached Like poached his death's death death. I mean, I'm just totally in trouble man. Yeah. Well, uh, also cream of wheat I eat a bowl of that. It's disastrous. Yeah, but any runny it's the runny yolk for me That does it and this guy same thing same z's same z's man Yeah, I didn't realize it was such a universal struggle. Yeah, I don't know if I don't know how many people it does affect But clearly affects some of them, you know, yeah Yeah, pretty good. I enjoy your egg salad sandwich there and it is so good. It is worth the pain of eggs I like an egg salad. What is egg salad mayonnaise with the eggs?

Right. Um, that's some white people. Oh, I don't need that. Uh, check this out. Somebody made this. You'll love this Light your brain on fire You feather in it brother You feather in it Oh, yeah I love it. Happy hallowed jeans. Yeah, that is from uh, michelle or nichelle And then This is another halloween thing here

That's the ymh pumpkin Oh, it's the two of us. Look at my tits are on there. Yeah, they're pretty big. They're huge. Thank you Jacob and gabby Oh, I love that that reminds me we got to carve our pumpkins, but you know, the weather is so dang hot Yeah, they they rot right away. I would I'll wait till it cools down. We'll get you gotta wait till it cools down Yeah, can't carve pumpkin in a day. Very cool. That's awesome I'm gonna put my spectacles on specs appeal So basically what I was comparing was katalina. I'm behind me and glory

Katalina is like seven pounds Yeah, I feel like behind me say kalina. She's like seven pounds She's made it a pvc piping from her neck down. Okay. This is a really long video This guy talking about his uh dolls. Yeah, I'm good. I get it. Did you hear what the there's pvc piping? Inside that runs from her vagina to her throat. That's cool. It is nice that he's got companions So one of these dolls is named glory And then the one on his lap. I don't know good. You know, one thing I would prefer

In these talks is that if he could turn the television down, I would I think so too. I think in any video Any video that you ever make turn the audio down in the background because we can't hear your valuable words Anyway, this guy did so many he did a series explaining his dolls and his relationship to you. Yeah, I'm such Appalachian witch trick If you think somebody's talking or gossiping about you just put some salt on this stove and burn it They're gonna stop Did you heard that before I hadn't heard that but it's a cool appalachian witch trick for hollow jeans It's witchy

Okay This is august 9th 2021 He's just letting you know what he looks like today. Yeah, I'm super nervous right now He did a series of these like he's one of those guys that couldn't quite figure tiktok out. No, no, that's clear But he kept doing them. It wasn't just they're always like this. Yeah, and he would be like Like he just couldn't put it together what what was gonna happen You're gonna make them suffer That's what you're gonna do. You're gonna make them fucking suffer

Every single fucking day you're gonna take away your fucking attention You're gonna take away their fucking energy by taking away your fucking attention You're not gonna give them any more fucking texts and you're not gonna give them any more fucking calls. Do you understand me? I want you to make sure that you make them fucking suffer Every single fucking day Every day Let them understand let them feel it inside of their soul Let them fucking understand what it meant to fucking make you miserable every fucking day of your life

Let them realize what the fuck they fucked up on That's right You are incredible. You are amazing. Don't fucking forget it. Learn to gain confidence from all the shit that's going on What do you think he was responding to I think uh, I think he's been through some shit I think he's talking to himself right now Well under the guys that it's for the people watching the tiktok. It's for a girl Of course, it's for a girl teaching the girls the nachos. Yeah, so he's saying hey all you guys that this happened to Happened to him too, and he didn't stop driving to make the tiktok. That's what I gotta say very impressive part of the video

He drove the entire time. Yeah And there's a lot of emotion in this video. Yeah, I don't think it's an act. No, no, that's what makes it good That's how I pick them make them suffer There's a right way and a wrong way to take a book off a shelf and the wrong way is a very common error Here's what people often do They grab the top of the spine with a finger and tip that book out towards them This tears the top edge of the spine. Uh, we see this often on antiquarian books Here's an example of a book that has had the top of the spine torn right off from

inappropriately taking it off the shelf Here's the correct way. However to take a book off the shelf reach past the top of the book push it forward from the Fore edge of the tax block out to your other hand and remove it as so Again the correct way not grabbing the top of the spine but reaching past the book Sliding it out on the shelf and then you can grab it by the sides That is the correct way to take a book off a shelf. I want to be honest with you I feel like I learned something. I like it. You did right?

I would watch I would watch things like this a lot. Yeah, that one's kind of I'm saying like the right way to do something Yeah, like that's educational. I enjoy it. I hope you make more stuff like this, sir Wouldn't it wear down? That side of the book though like you're touching that so then the goal, you know, there's often They're leafing. Yeah, but your finger your finger oils are now touching the page. Okay. Why don't you make a fucking tiktok then? Okay? I'm just saying that it's probably better to destroy the spine than the actual pages of the oils and your fingers What are your options if a kidney stone and yes, this is a real kidney stone with the real kidney

Get stuck and it can't pass and go down the year Well, there's a few options first They can actually do what's called a lithotripsy where they used focused energy waves to try and pulverize the stone Incident breaks into smaller pieces that can then be passed down the ureter second option They can do what's called a ureteroscopy where they actually go up the ureter And they can even use lasers to break apart the kidney stone and then have a basket attached to it That'll grab the pieces and then pull it out or another option is they can actually go the surgical route

Well, they'll go in here and take it out I take the surgical route. Just go in there and take it out. I don't want to pee it out You know fucking painful that's gotta be One of the biggest qualities is uncertainty not knowing the outcome when we watch a football game What makes the football game fun? We don't know what team's gonna win our team could lose So we're invested in it because we don't know the outcome is a game as fun to watch When it's the next day and you've already heard that your team won or your team lost a lot of times We don't even watch it. It's no longer fun because we know the outcome

Same thing when you're dating a woman nice guys when they date a woman They are I always say it they're like the movie where the woman already knows the ending she meets you She dates you you you hang out you hit it off But there's no fun there for her because she knows that all right It's the second date. He hasn't kissed me yet He's probably gonna try to kiss me on a third date Because that's his role and then the third date comes and you walk her to the door and you kiss her and she's like, all right That's exactly what I expected and then she gets home and she pulls out her phone

And she's got a text from you saying had a great night like that's that's not fun because that's like knowing the movie in advance What do you think of that? Fucking coolest shit. Yeah He's saying like keep her on her toes Keep her guessing finger her on the first date. Don't wait until the third date. Don't text her right away I think you're looking you're giving I don't know that that's what he was saying That's what he said, right? Oh, he's just gonna kiss me on the third date So he's he's basically saying stop being predictable and nice

I guess so he's saying don't nice it up so much. Yeah. Yeah I disagree. I like nice. Yeah. Yeah, I like it. I like that you're a booty hole You're consistent. I like that about you It's it's attractive to me. Yeah, I like that. I like it too. Consistency. I'm not into game playing. No stable, yeah These guys are the best Oh, wow Oh, wow, I tell you something this guy reminds me a lot of any

Babe Oh, wow, look at his abilities. Wow. That's what he wants you to do like a kick. Look at you, Alice This is going on a lot longer than I thought it would I like that he maintains eye contact like that's another thing they have to look straight ahead It's how you know he's a badass totally Still going Well, now that tiktok's extended

Holy cow That's amazing too. No, that's hard. It's not his first time doing that Oh, I thank you Alice. I was over This is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. Okay. God. All right. Now you're just showing off nunchucks No I'm cutting it off. Yeah, how long do they let you go on tiktok now? Jesus Christ, man, but that was a good show. He was talented. Yeah, it was a good show. He knows what he's doing, Tom I can't believe you compared me to that false blood, by the way

He's wearing red and blue though. I know It's uh, it's very impressive. Fuck a false blood. Remember how mad that guy gets? He's like do call me no fucking fucking false blood. Oh, I think we all remember He was like so lathered up. Yeah, he was like stumbling over his words. Okay. Fuck a fuck of false blood Looking for a big old teddy bear to cuddle with here. I am That's gonna be it for us today guys, uh That's it. That's the show. I love you. Love you. Thanks guys for watching. We'll see you next week And let's see. Do we have a their closer here closing song?

Mark Wahlberg no Your special is out there on sale the tickets are on sale. So we will close on touch my camera through the fence What's the name of the special? Uh, uh j crown molding. Is that what's called? Mr. Peter said you got it, bitch What's right gonna fuck you under the tree and stand up on the curb last night? You just lost your life But your brain on fire Okay, ta ta they're returned gone all the heaters thing didn't follow photo. This is america. What's up there? Chomode gone all the heaters thing didn't follow photo. This is america. What's up there chomode?

You don't call this yeah, I take cops badges all the time doing it You know what you're talking to? I'm a tired double agent there you fucking retard Oh, you know what you're fired, bud He just lost your life. Okay as far as your job goes So All right Ta ta they're returning