Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 634 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

SPONSORS: - Go to https://ShipStation.com and enter offer code YMH to get a 60-day free trial. - Visit https://talkspace.com and get $100 off your first month when you use promo code YMH. - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit and get $200 off your mattress! - Head to https://Squarespace.com/MOM and use the offer code MOM for a free trial and to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. - Download Best Fiends FREE today on the App Store or Google Play. - Register for an account at https://Stance.com and use promo code MOM at checkout to get 15% off your first purchase. - Go to https://BABBEL.com/MOM for up to 65% off your subscription. - Go to https://MANSCAPED.com/MOM to get 20% off plus Free Shipping! - Go to https://Amazon.com/YOURMOM to try Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for THREE months! Touch Tom Segura and Christina P's camera through the fence and pull those jeans up! Christinith shows off her new Scottish hat, we discuss the royal family, and we open with a really cool island girl. Christine reveals she's all in on that Salt Lake, UT life, we revisit the boot licker lane, and see a clip of two good friends keeping each other company. The mommies talk about how holiday dinner with the family was, a guy who the morgue thought was dead, and the terrible hours of hotel restaurants and bars. Tom tells us how much time Joe Rogan has been spending on Unk Shine's Instagram page so we check out what he's been up to. Christina updates us on her current standing with TikTok, we talk about the tragic passing of acclaimed fashion designer Virgil Abloh, and review some wild YMH inspired tattoos. We hear a cool shart, play Horrible or Hilarious, and Christy shares how nuts grow and a fun new game she plays with Chase O'Donnell at restaurants. We have a new FedSmoker clip where he meets a genuine fan, we check in on the reincarnation of FedSmoker getting kicked out of the gym, and talk about some of the most wild deep fakes we've seen. We also review some legal documents a mommy made for Tom to possibly sue Garth Brooks with for restricting his Instagram account. See you next week!

Tell them what I wrote on my card. That you were thankful for? Yeah. You're big stupid tits. Yeah, I got up to get some pie and I came back and somebody wrote on my card, I'm thankful for my big stupid tits. Welcome, welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

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Try it out, try it out. Ready in Khamesh. Nope, ready in Cinco, Quatro, Tress, Dose, Uno. And we're back. We're back. I can't get over how bad Patty's Spanish is. He's working on it.

He needs help with his pronunciation. He does, he does. Got yourself a hat. Yeah, well I picked this little ditty up in short like titties. I thought it was French. Well, it's from Scotland, mate. It's a Scotish hat.

Did I do that accent right? For about a fraction of a millisecond. But I like, it reminds me of Cindy Lauper in time after time in that video. You got it where? In short like titties. Short like titties? At a Scottish store.

And everything was Scottish inside of it. Like biscuits and they had, you know if your name is like O'Donnell or whatever and then they've got your family crest. People get really excited when they find their family name there and stuff. They do. I mean.

That's a real cracker thing, I think. Yeah. Especially if your origin is like Great Britain. People are real excited about it. Really? About like the crest, the family crest. Yeah. We were connected to a royal,

my cousin fucked her dad's dog and that, you know. Well, because it's an island culture, really. And they're just, I guess five clans that fucked each other since the, you know, the 500s or whatever. They've been around forever. And really not a good looking people. And it's because of that. It's because of all that inner fucking.

That's right, inbreeding. Whereas us dirty, slob, hun, tribey people, we mixed around with the different people. You gotta mix it up. It's one of the only, only reasonable arguments I've heard for integrating the races, you know. Better looking children. Better looking people, yeah.

I agree, Tom. I mean, other than that, I'm not really for it. But then when you start to see how good looking people are when you mix these gene pools, you're like, maybe, maybe there's an argument for it. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, cause-

And foods, sometimes. Foods are okay. English food, not very good either. Not very good. Not very tasty. They don't like flavor. They resent flavor. I really like English people.

Saints. They're a lot of fun. They're a good time. They're, I mean, I actually, I really enjoy being over there. I love London. I feel like that's definitely one of the- World's great cities. Yeah.

But I mean, yeah, I mean- Like their music? Their music's great. Like their culture? Yeah. I like their queen. The queen is lovely, yeah. The queen's lovely.

I bet she's got quite a worn box on her these days. I think so. She's not doing so well. Her health is failing. Yeah, her pussy's failing too. Her pussy's failing, yeah. That was a big thing. One of the headlines said that.

Queen Elizabeth's pussy is drier than ever. 95 years old. Oh, how dry and hangy is her- The lips? Yeah. Pretty gooey. They gotta be. I wonder if she's like, has ever like,

fucked all those guards out front. Babe. At once. No way, she was really a good queen. She was married to Prince Philip. It doesn't mean she's a bad queen. No, no, I mean, she really took the role seriously and was very queen-y like.

Yeah. I've watched enough stuff. I've watched fucking, what is it, The Crown? Yeah, that's all you need. Yeah. So, yeah, hopefully she makes it. I know her husband passed. Ballot passed, yeah.

What was he considered a prince? Prince Philip, yes. He was from a German family. His lineage comes from there. And so they actually didn't like him, I think, reigning at the beginning. And why couldn't they call him- Duke of Edinburgh.

That's his title. Why couldn't he be called king? If you're married to the queen, you're fucking the queen all the time or you're not the king? That's a good question. I think he's like, I don't know, that's a really good question. I'm not sure.

I know there's some fucking buck-tooth fuck watching this right now who's gonna tell me the reason. The answer is found in British parliamentary law which determines who's up next for the throne. And also, what title his or her spouse will have. In terms of succession, the law looks only to blood and not to gender. Okay, so there's articles about it.

Basically, he wasn't up next for the throne. He wasn't up next. They can't give him that title. So does Prince- Charles becomes the king now. But is he king? Or he becomes king? He will once she kicks it.

He'll be king of England. He'll be the king of England, Mike. And here's the deal is that a lot of people are kind of nervous about him taking over. I'm so happy to be finally discussing this with somebody that wants to know. I'm excited to know. So Charles will take over

and there's a lot of talk of him whittling down the monarchy because the monarchy is not so popular these days thanks to, you know who, over in America here, what's her name, Kite Middleton. No, no, K Middleton's a good one. What's the one, Megan? Megan Markle?

Yeah, she was just talking her in-laws and all this stuff. So he's gonna whittle it down. So there may not be as many people on the payroll. So we don't know. We'll see what happens. Because it really is just a thing for show. Yeah, they make money from tourism. It is also an identity, a national identity I think

for them. Even in that interview with Harry Nuts, he said, Harry Nuts. He said that there's the family and then there's the people who call the shots, which is like a different set of people like that tell everybody kind of what to do. Right, well, it's very managed, right?

The family is, it's a business. It's not, yeah, it's gotta be horrible to be in that family because everything is public appearance and your job is to be a royal. And it's all consuming. It's terrible, yeah. I would hate it. I would really hate it.

Well, let's keep things very royal for the opening clip. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Ready to start the show? Yeah. Let's go. I'm an island girl and I'm just trying to queef it.

Cause I'm an island girl. I'm gonna keep it like an island girl cause I'm trying to queef it. I'm trying to queef it. Queef it. Holy crap. Wow. Don't bring anyone loving to this.

Wow, so good. Well, welcome, welcome to your mom's house. Oh, they had like a nice kind of symmetry with the monarchy. Welcome to your mom's house. What's that dancing you're trying to go? The Nackle Island. Oh, the chopper city jute? How do you do that?

Meow. What a talent. Pretty, pretty. Now, I really wish she were on TikTok. She'd become an overnight success with that song. I'm sure she's on there. I'm sure she's on there. Well, cause you've heard of those two idiots.

Yeah. The island boys. Apparently they got booed off stage at an event recently. Oh, they did. Yeah. Yeah. Very talented. Very.

But it kind of shows you, you know, there's people that do well in a studio. Right. And then live shows. Like rockin' a live mic is way different than, you know what I mean? Just shootin' something in your home. And she had so many queefs, which is very difficult. Was she refueling as she was filming? Can she have that ability to maybe pull in air?

Yeah, so I... What do people do with their buttholes? You can do with your veg. I knew a girl that had the ability to, but she had to sit back in the couch and then she would like open her legs and suck in air into her veg and then push it out. So maybe she was refueling. Yeah. I doubt this is just one load of queef because that's an awful lot of air to come out.

What do you mean? You don't think that was one? That was one take? Well, listen, ask somebody that has queefed. Yeah. You know, usually it's one thing. And then it's like a fart. And then to have that much air.

What do you think happened? I think she's refueling. Oh, yeah. So she lets it out. Well, I think she prepped for it. And then she sucks as she's dancing or something. I don't know. That would be...

Wow. Are we gonna go for another debate here? What a mystery. What a mystery. Hot topics? I think it would be wise of us to pursue this person to find out. I mean, that's a ton of queef though. It is.

I don't know. Here's the thing. I'd like to know about her life. I'd like to know what's going on. I think we can tell a lot. Well, she's got the fish tank in the background. The stripper pole in the living room. I mean, she looks young.

Is this her parents' house that she's... I don't think so. But yeah, she's wild. I don't think she bathes every day. I think she's fun. Well, I think she's the best thing I've seen in a long time. Yeah. I need to know more.

She's doing a pair. I mean, she's wise enough. You know, she's got it together. Savvy. She put a parody of the island boys. I'm an island girl. Savλι. What is she writing on herself?

Queen Le male, queen Laqueeve? I'm an island girl, and I'mlem keep it like an island girl cuz I'm trying to... That's what she's pressing. The queen bit. She is definitelyphoneticbang. She's got a lot of queen. Queen bit. And the cat, she's got a cat.

There's a dog, right? Oh, there's a dog too? Isn't that a dog on the stairs? No, that's a cat. Really? Yeah, I saw its tail slowly going. So yeah, she's got a life. Oh, so did they have the number on their forehead?

Do you know why? Yeah, 17. 17, okay. He's too idiot. I mean, yeah, she's clever, you know. Definitely talented. I like her. I like her too.

I like her, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm attracted to her. Yeah. I like the way the island boys look so much. I just wish their talent matched up to their looks. You attracted to it? Well, I think in terms of like rappers, you're like, that's fucking... Like, I hope they're awesome. I want them to sound amazing because the look is cool.

And then you're like, well, they kind of fall short of the look, you know? Because I don't mind that island boy song. It's not terrible. Well, you know, it's not like a real song. Right, it's just them at the jacuzzi being like, I'm island boy. And they went to like a radio station. They were like, do it here. And they realized it was, it's not a song.

They're like, it's not a song. Is that right? There's no more verses? They're like, yeah, we were just fucking around. So then they're like, oh, so they're trying to riff it. And then they were like, oh, this sucks. Oh. Yeah.

Well, yeah, you'd think that, you know, you've got the beginnings of a hit. Just write the song, like write some more lyrics. But that's where you have to know what you're doing. You have to be good at making music. You have to know how to make music. Yeah. To be a musician. Go figure, yeah.

But they've got the look, boy, huh? It's definitely a look. I don't know if they have that look. They have a look. That's cool. Yeah. Did you say you're going to be in Orlando? Yes.

This weekend, I met the Orlando improv in Orlando, Florida. And then I go to Brea, January 14th through, what is it? No, I think 13th through 15th. And that's it. And then Mommy shoots her big special in Jewdork titties. And then I'll come back and I'll start doing Cap City for a couple of Wednesdays. And you know what? February and March, yeah.

I want to plug my friend, Louis CK has a special coming out this Saturday. Okay. So I've seen it. I got a sneak peek at it and it is fucking hilarious. It's very funny. If you go to his website, it is louisck.com and it's going to be there. It's called Sorry. And it's like he didn't, he's been so good and he's still awesome at it.

So congrats. Go check it out if you haven't. Well, you haven't yet. So go check it out this Saturday. Yeah. He's so fucking funny. So funny. Yeah.

So talented. Definitely check it out. Yeah. Yep. So. I'm hot. Are you hot in here? I'm not.

I'm so sweaty. From what? I don't know. I got to take this sweatshirt off. You being real? Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like you're...

I'm as cold. I'm always cold. Now I'm hot. Yeah. I'm just trying to queef it. Nice. What do you think? You like it?

Yeah. It's a strong message. No? It's very strong. It's... And I can tell you're jealous, which is why. Got one for you, buddy. That's very cool.

Thank you. You want to put it on? It would be twinsies? I'll wait. But thank you. And I'll do it on the next one. Oh, also. I got you the cool hat.

That's very cool. It says so. These are very 42069 vibes today, huh? Yeah. Guess what time it is, bros? Yeah. That's so funny you say that. Because in the shop I bought the stuff and it was all 420 and like, yeah, those kind

of vibes. How would I guess? Yeah. How would I guess? Very cool. Well, I wanted to bring you something back from the trip. That's really nice of you. Yeah.

This one really spoke to me. So many people are like, oh, shit. Yeah. That's pretty good, right? Dude, look at... It's silly. Look at the letters. Yeah.

That's why I liked it. It was so dumb. Yeah. I liked the city and state. You did it. Yeah. That's why it's my favorite city. Yeah.

Well, they're selling this everywhere in Salt Lake City now. It's a hot item. So I thought I'd... I bet there's some locals that aren't too fond of that. Yeah. Right? Oh, those kind. You know, they came out to my shows.

They do. They come out to all the shows. Yeah. They had so much fun. Well, here's the thing. They don't all come out. The ones who come out are a good time. The cool ones.

Because they're coming out because they want to go out. Yeah. It's fun to watch them walk around in their modest clothing and stuff. And you're like, oh. Like, I like laughing at them and stuff. That's nice. Pointing. Yeah.

That's really cool of you. But I don't understand. Like, they don't ride horse and buggies and shit. Right? Oh, they're not an Amish. Cars. That's Amish. Yeah.

They can watch TV and stuff. The Mormons and like... I guess. Yeah. I don't know all the... I wonder, like, what can they not do? I don't know all the rules of their dumb fucking religion. I know.

It's so dumb. I don't know. I really don't know. I know that it's absurd. But so is basically all religion. I know. So, you know, believe whatever you want to believe. Believe whatever the fuck you want to believe.

Bro. Here's a slut. Oh. Right here. Okay. Yeah. Yikes. Wow.

And then... Oh, eatin' your food, too. Oh my God. Do you think... Oh. I'm a fucking cute. I don't know what's more gross. I know.

Eating in Subway or eating the boot. You know what I mean? I just think going between the boot and your food is extra gross. He's clearly following orders. You know? Because we've covered this before in Wyoming. Yeah. There was a guy on a train who was licking a muddy boot.

Poof. On a train. Follow orders. This guy's at the mall. He's between bites. He is licking a boot and sucking on the stem of the heel. Poof. Oh.

Oh, no. Uh-uh. They're definitely gonna be like, you're not allowed to do this. No fucking way. He didn't pay for that. Wow. Oh, my God. That salesperson was like, yeah, I can get you a size eight.

Hold on. Oh, my God. It's such an interesting choice, that part of it, that it's the shoe. Yeah. The shoe. And that's a clean one. I thought the whole point was to get a dirty bottom. Well, yeah.

I mean, how are you gonna come? Right. Right. So this doesn't... This confuses me thoroughly now because that's a fresh shoe. That doesn't have any kind of stink on it. There's no fun to it. Yeah.

What's the... What are you doing? What are you doing? Do you really just like shoes? I mean... Ugh. And then he's got to know he's being taped at this point. I think he enjoys it.

Ugh. That'd be my guess. He wants to be a naughty boy. Wasn't that the thing about the public jerk-off guy? Yeah. That he wants to be like... The shock. Right?

But what they don't want is to laugh in point, right? Yeah, they don't want you to laugh in point because then you're shaming them. They want the shock. They want the shock. They want the surprise. So this guy wants you to probably be like, oh my God. He wants to overhear you being like, is he licking a boot? Dude, I just got the chills.

Yeah. Is that an orgasm? It's so... It's so fucking gr... It's just dirt. It's just dirt. Yeah. It's just dirt.

Yeah. It's not even on a per... It's like... Just lick dirt. Yeah. I don't like... That didn't make me feel good. No?

No. We were having feel-goods and then... What are you doing with her? Here, I'll go with you. I don't even know what we saw. Tell me what happened. I don't... That was...

It was actually a really funny clip. Yeah. So the guy goes... I won't play it again. The guy goes out there and the buddy... His buddy's throwing. He goes, What are you throwing up?

And he's like, He's like, Cool, I'll go with you. And then he throws up too. That's pretty funny, actually. Yeah. That's pretty funny. Oh, man.

Okay. That's kind of... Yeah. Yeah. I won't play it again. But... Don't play it again. A few weeks ago, we went to Flow Rida for TG.

Mm-hmm. Fikeskeeping. And got to hang out with all the family. Mm-hmm. There was even a really nice moment where we all actually said why we gave thanks. Yeah. That was pretty cool. Did you remember what was on your card?

Oh, my God. Because everybody had a... They gave us a piece of paper that says, I am thankful for it and it was blank. It was pretty gay. But then there was pencils. It was so gay. But my 10-year-old nephew had the best response.

He wrote, my ass. Yeah. And I was like, that's so funny. And his parents were all mad. I was like, oh, you know what I'm saying. And I was like, that's a perfectly reasonable response. But it got real serious real quick. Yeah.

Like everybody did really serious stuff. Yeah. But your card wasn't very serious. Well, you tell them what I wrote on my card. That you were thankful for? Yeah. Your big stupid tits. Yeah.

I got up to get some pie and I came back and somebody wrote on my card, I'm thankful for my big stupid tits. Do you know who did that? I thought you did. That's what was on your paper. No. And then I wrote... Yours was real special.

God. Because everybody had, they were like, thankful that this family's together and thankful for the life that you gave us. I wrote, I'm thankful for my tour and my podcast and my cars. Yeah. And then I had on this really nice blue jacket.

So I wrote that I'm thankful for this blue jacket. It's super nice. Everybody was like, what? Yeah. I don't know if people got it. They're kind of like... They didn't, right? Because people were kind of like, oh, Tom?

Because I had, let's set it up a little differently. Like your father spoke. Everybody. The children spoke and then it was my turn. And you didn't say that you were thankful for your big stupid tits. You switched it. Yeah. And your sisters were crying.

And then it was... People were crying. My turn. And then I was going to start silly. And I thought, you know what? For once in my life, I'm just going to be a normal human being and speak for my heart. And then I started crying.

And then Tom was like, well, thankful for this designer jacket that I'm wearing and my cars and my tour. And then I also mentioned the family. I was like, I am thankful for the family. But most of all, Rick Daman at Daman Motorsports for modifying my GT4. Because it's the fucking best thing I've ever driven. And everybody was like, oh. This is 100% true, by the way.

This is not a bit. Like I wish I had the paper now to show them as evidence. And I was like, oh, God. Yep. Oh. Oh, the best part, though, is when it was a very tearful moment. And my little nephew runs up and goes, Ellis just said shit. Yeah.

That was really great. And we were like, so? We were like, yeah, that's what happens. Everybody was like, oh. Everybody's like, oh, you guys don't mind. I'm like, not really. It's not a big deal in our house. Yeah.

At least it wasn't fuck. That's a worse one. That's a bigger one, yeah. Yeah. Shit's kind of normal around our house. Fuck. Yeah. That's a tougher one.

Yeah. I was like, I don't mind with them. And I got a lot of replays. Juju especially just repeats everything you say. God damn it. God damn it. God damn it. You're like, all right.

He's like, God damn it. OK. God fucking damn it. He was saying that for a minute. That was really cool. Yeah. Well, it was a nice holiday. I'm glad we did.

He also thinks that's what you're supposed to say when the doorbell rings. Yeah. Because of you screaming at every time in a rage. God damn it. So if you hear a doorbell, he goes, God fucking damn it. Ding, ding. Just for somebody wanting to come inside. It's kind of neat.

It's neat. Because that's how I react to a doorbell ring. Yeah. This episode of Your Mom's House is brought to you by Squarespace. We all love Squarespace here because we've all used it to make design websites that we have used. Everybody here on the staff has had a go at Squarespace. I think we're up to over half a dozen websites that we've designed there.

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Okay. If you've listened to the show, you know that I am obsessed with best fiends. If you ever see me on an airplane, that's what I'm doing. I'm playing best fiends. I love it. I'm on level 174. Don't mean to brag, but I will. That's why I keep coming back.

I'm into it because I like the storylines. I like the characters. I like how the levels go up, but it's not so crazy, annoyingly challenging that I don't want to deal with it. I love best fiends. It has it all. It's got the storyline, the collectible fiends, and tons of fun puzzles. I can't put it down.

It's quite possibly the best puzzle game out there. I do. I do. I love best fiends so much. There's always a fresh challenge waiting for me when I need a mental pick me up, and the best part is you don't have to be online to play the game, which is why I do it so frequently on airplanes because you don't need to be on the Wi-Fi. Download best fiends free today on the App Store or Google Play.

That's friends without the R best fiends. You know, I will say, and I meant to send your sister. I thank you because she really hosted very well. Yeah. And she, no, keep in mind your sister woke up what time that day, Thanksgiving morning, and she ran. It was wild. Oh, yeah.

She ran a 5K. What was her say? She also played tennis. What? Yeah, both. Which first? The 5K was first. That was her warm-up for tennis.

That's wild. And then she's like, that's how I could be normal. And then she cooked Thanksgiving for like 20 people. It was wild. And it was also really good. It was amazing. People asked me, did you get your steak? I didn't.

But I have to say, this was like the first time I've ever enjoyed turkey. Yeah, me too. Hers wasn't a dry pussy. I hate that word. I'm not going to say it. It was a deliciously flavored, juicy. Young pussy. Like an 18-year-old pussy.

Oh, boy. It wasn't the queen's pussy. It was a freshman at Arizona State's pussy. Do you think if they buy the turkeys young, it tastes better? The meat's sweeter? That I don't know. I hope so. That was really good.

I was real stoked about that. I have some new information for you. I have some news interest. I found this article online about this guy in India. Yeah. This dude was in a traffic accident and then they declared him dead. Right? They put him in the morgue freezer for six hours.

His sister-in-law goes to identify the body and she goes, this guy's warm. He's warm and breathing. There's the video of him in the freezer and he's alive. Oh, shit. They must have had such a laugh. Srikesh Kumar was pronounced dead at the scene after he was struck by something. Anyway, they found that he was breathing the next day. Holy shit.

I mean, can you even imagine? Yeah. And they're like, it's a miracle. It's a miracle. Like, no, it's negligence. Somebody... This has happened before, you know. This has happened before.

Just in India? No, no. Here in the States, it's happened too. Multiple times. People have been putting in morgues and been alive. Yeah. That is my worst nightmare. Please don't let them do that to me.

Like, make sure I'm dead, dead, dead. Oh, I'll make sure. Yeah. Okay, you can do that. I'll give you permission to really stab me up before. She's dead. I'm like, no, but make sure she's dead. You have to slit my throat instead.

I don't know if the hospital would allow that. I'm dead already. Is it murder if I'm dead already? No, but it's a crime. You can fuck up. You can't fuck up your own wife's dead body? You're not allowed to, no. But we're married.

It doesn't matter. Really? Yeah, you can't do that. What if I put it in my will that will allow you to stab my dead body because it will give you joy? We can give it a shot. Want to try? Why don't you call the lawyers and say you want to make a change to the...

To the will. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It is. I can only imagine. I mean, it says that he's in a coma. There's people who have woken up in morgues.

Can you imagine that? That's the worst. So he was in a coma. He lived for five days and then he passed of internal bleeding, but had they not thrown him into the freezer, they probably would have found the internal bleeding and he would have lived. So, I mean, talk about bad luck, but thank God at least he was in a coma and in there. Yeah.

Not like, if you're screaming in one of those because you have to, like it's like a fridge locked door. Oh my God. Imagine the claustrophobia you'd feel in a morgue fridge. And like, how cold is it? Shouldn't it be colder than what they're doing in India if you can survive that? Cold. Yeah.

It is, right? I don't know the temperature. How do you survive? Let's see. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Okay. 14 Fahrenheit and between 14 Fahrenheit and negative 58 Fahrenheit.

Well, it's freezing. It's freezing. It's freezing. How do you survive that? I'm guessing you're right and they didn't have it that cold. In India? I don't figure. Yeah, I bet it wasn't that cold.

Shit. They probably had it like 66. It's like our house. That's a good amount of sleep right here. Good temperature. Yeah. That was horrible. Yeah.

God damn it. All right. Would you freak out? Would you freak out if that happened to you? Yeah, I'd be a little pissed. How pissed? So pissed. Dispissed?

Fucking resurrect it. You fucking put in hope. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are?

Fuck you. Give me fucking cops and addashi please right now. Like that. That pissed? Is that how mad you get as they get your order wrong at Starbucks? Mmhmm. Is that how you feel? Nope.

It's more of a slow kind of... slow boil. A simmering rage? Yeah. Yeah. Where I get more like a calculated, you know. Yeah. Thoughtfull.

Thoughts. I got to look at the exits, look how many people are here, that kind of thing, you know. What would make you that mad though? I mean is there much in life that would get me, that would get you that fired up? Like... That's, I mean that's full blown. So I guess the story, what is the story because you had the story right? Yeah.

The context that we had was that I think he slapped a waitress's ass and then got a bounced out and that was his reaction. So he's saying how dare you and they're like, who do you think you are? Yeah, he seems perfectly fine, I can't believe they kick him out. So actually maybe it's, you know what this is the perfect rage amount to? Getting called out on your bullshit when you don't want to get called out on your bullshit. That fills people up. Oh right, right.

Yeah, yeah. So you did your shit and he slapped someone's ass and someone's like, you can't do that. How dare you. I'm going to freak out. Yeah. Yeah. But also he was looking for the fight. You know, he was setting himself up.

He's probably sauced up a little too, right? For sure. There's chemicals or chemical imbalance. A sober person this mad? No. I don't know. He's, you know, so whatever, taking the anger out on, I like how it says when McDonald's ice cream machine is broken.

Why is it always fucking broken? I feel like I've been to McDonald's and almost every time they're like, yeah, the ice cream machine doesn't work. Like this is your fucking one job, dude, besides all the other shit you serve, but you can't fucking have that. It wouldn't be their one job, would it? Meaning their one job is to serve like the five items they serve. So how about you fix the fucking ice cream machine?

I'll tell you what, I think there's nothing worse than at McDonald's. It's anything but piping hot fries. Yeah, I think so. If you have lukewarm fries. You know, they fucked you, man, they fucked you hard. You are getting the business from me. Oh, that's it? I'll come back for the drive-thru.

What the fuck do you think you're doing? Touch these. I'll throw them through the window. Yeah. They should burn your face when I hit you with these. And I'll be like, I need cops right fucking now. I'll call the cops. Yeah.

Yeah. That's true. It's a crime. Those should come out of the grease and right in your mouth. There's something about that is so fascinating about McDonald's food is that it's only not tolerable, but enjoyable, pleasurable, and excellent at a piping hot temperature. Yeah. It's even kind of warm and not hot.

You're like, oh, this is just definitely not good for you. No, it makes your car smells like farts. Have you ever left McDonald's in your car? And then you come back and you're like, dude, who took a shit in my car? And then it's, it smells like people's farts. It's gnarly. It's so gross. Tell you my buddy, he said his wife is kind of, I don't want to say his name on the show.

Yeah. His wife's kind of a health nut. So she's always on him for everything. Obviously, I'm not talking about Bert. But anyway, my friend, he goes, you know, and he's, he's not that bad, but he, but he's not as healthy as she is. He's like, man, I had McDonald's the other day and I farted. My wife was like, you ate McDonald's.

And she smelled it in his fart. She's a fart detective. Yeah, she was like, I could, she goes, I could smell that you had McDonald's. He was like, what the fuck? She's like a fart sommelier. She caught him. Get the notes from his fart. Yeah.

That's amazing. But I speak to not just her nose, I think, but also the power of McDonald's. The power of McDonald's, you know. It's true. It's a very specific smell. That is so true. Wow. I never thought about that.

It's pretty wild. It's pretty cool story. Yeah. It smells like garbage. Speaking of eating, I think it's a really neat thing when the hotel you stay in, you know, you're held captive essentially when you go to these cities. I don't, I don't know where to eat in Salt Lake City near my hotel. I don't know things.

So it's, it's kind of cool, you know, when you've been traveling all day and you pull in and you're like, oh, is this a restaurant open? And they're like, yes. And you get all excited. And then they're like between 5 30 p.m. and 9 30 p.m. And then it doesn't open again until the next day. You're like, well, then why? Who does this serve?

Yeah. Why were you doing to me? So I'm supposed to learn how to do intermittent fasting because of you guys. Like, I'm just supposed to not eat. I mean, what? It's insane. Especially in remote places. And then they always, there's also places that have coffee from 6 to 9 a.m.

And you're like, that's it, that's it. That's the window. That's the window. And you do two shows. You get up at 9 15. Done. They get coffee. They're like, you could have, but we're shut down until tomorrow at 6 a.m.

I know. And there's a coffee place right here. Yeah, you can walk there. It's like two and a half. Great. I know. And then the, you know, the Mormons, obviously, everything's closed on Sunday, so you're totally hostage to the hotel.

You're staying in, you know, I was like, I guess I'm not eating right now. Yeah, was it a decent hotel? Yeah, it was really nice. That's the thing. I stand, they still didn't have a lot of right now. I was at the name. You want me to say where I stay? Oh, we can believe it.

Like Lady Gaga stayed there. And that's like the best hotel in SLC is SL UT. So so UT. Yeah. Um, yeah, but it's been happening a lot. And I think because of the Pandy, they can't keep things open a lot. It's like, well, then don't fucking, how can we open it just for sometimes, but not all the rest of that blew my mind when I was in New York a few

weeks ago, I go to New York and I get back from a show. So staying in the city, but I did, I did a couple of shows first in Jersey. I got back right around midnight and I was like, take it a drink here at the bar at a nice hotel in New York City. They were like, no, we're closed. And I was like, oh, and I go, well, there's gotta be a place near by because this is New York City. He was like, we know we're still dealing with the aftermath.

I was like, there's no bars open. He was like, not around here. Wow. I was like, all right, I went to my room. I jerked off. Yeah. Were you angry about it? Cause you were sober.

Oh yeah. I get myself like a talking to it. Yeah. It's the city. It's the city that never, never repeats things. I thought about the guy who told me nothing was open as that was jerking off. Yeah. You know, it was like a rage full.

I was like, we mean nothing's open like that. You know, I'll show you open. Open your mouth. Exactly. Yeah. That's what I did. And he came in his dumb mouth. He came in his dumb mouth.

I go, was that open? Yeah, you fucking bitch. Why don't you drink that? Yeah. Cool fantasy. We just did. I was kind of neat, huh? Yeah, it's happened almost every time I roll into a city.

I'll roll in like two or three PM and I'm like, is there food? No. No. You know, people want that when they stay here, right? I don't know. Food. It's all food. What hotel does it serve you food?

I mean, in the. And a midnight cutoff in New York is a bummer. Yeah. A real fucking bummer. Because what's their, they cut off drinking it with four in the morning. Like, don't they have a. It's not like that. Yeah, super late.

Not really. It's the city that's always never, not started up all the time. Yeah. Such a bummer dude. So gay and so retarded. You know. This guy. You got some milk, dude.

Unkshine. So I put, you know, when he, when Rogan did our live, which was fantastic. Thank you everybody. They got it. So many people joined us and watched it for Thanksgiving. So it really made their Thanksgiving weekend with their families. He's been texting me. He's like, dude, I just spent a while on Unkshine's page because it is,

he is posting at a frantic pace where it's just like, I mean, look, by the way, I scroll up, no, sorry, to the top, like his 2,600 posts, he does like 30 in a day. You know, may I see the content? Can I see what he's posting? I'm curious. Yeah, you can just, yeah, sure. The way Nina, I already knew it was just cutting your ass straight up. Them little drawers you're wearing is not cutting your ass on some brown.

Yeah, them little drawers you're wearing, Nina. Now, go the next one. Yeah, just cutting your ass. Because he just, you know, you say your name is too much. You see how I knew it? Any kind of money. You can't put your drawers in my face. I bet you any kind of money, Nina.

I'm not sure I follow, but I bet you any kind of money, you can't put your booty in my feet. Oh, it's a dare. Yeah, with them drawers you're wearing, yeah, them little drawers, yeah, girl, be a woman, Nina, I bet you. So, just so you know, Joe Rogan is consuming this content. When it be great if, like, he's talking to like a scientist, he's like, is this the same shit? Out of his mind. These are all, he's just like, record, post, record, post. But what if, what if Joe starts quoting Unkshine, like on his pocket?

So, you know what Unkshine says about the vaccine? You know the great Unkshine, yeah. And you're like, what? I'll tell you this, Unkshine isn't vaccinated and he looks like he's doing just fine. Yeah, yeah, he's been licking assholes. He doesn't even take out of the mech then. Where the fucking vaccine really lies. It's inside the booty.

Yeah, yeah. Also, somebody noted that if you're on his page, I think it's in, you see how these are all videos? That they think he accidentally posted a still photo. So, like, I think it's there, I think. Like, that was for sure a video, he didn't know. This is art. Yeah. This is true art.

And how many followers is he at? Because he was at 800 and now he's got, because we've been talking about him, he's at 21,000 and he's the Uncle Shine, if you want to join him, the Uncle is T-H-E-U-N-K-L-E Shine, S-H-I-N-E. That's Joseph Felix. And who is he following? He's following nine. Let's see, what, lucky nine.

Other chicks, Nicki Minaj. Hulk Hogan there? Hulk Hogan. Yeah, if Doja Cat. Doja Cat, that makes sense. 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:53,920 Huh.

00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:58,880 Cocoa, Buddha, photo shops. Hey, Yonk, no love for the people that got the... Yeah. Geez. The members going for you? No. 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:07,760 This is hilarious.

I'm coming at your fairies. Yeah, and he doesn't waver from, you know, his brand. Pretty cool. It's very sincere, like Robert Paul Champagne. Stays on it. They have a thing they're into, and that is what they're into. This episode of Your Mom's House is also brought to you by Stance. I just got a box of Stance products.

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Yeah, what happened here? I'm so fucking upset. So TikTok suspended me for a week, right? This is like a month ago. Yeah. And now I got removed for harassment and bullying. Again, this is your second strike. Yesterday.

This is my, well, this is actually my third time that I've had a video removed. So are you done? I don't know. I think I can get, if I get like one more strike, they're going to suspend me again. And like, there's no way, I don't even know how to protest. Did you see the details? Yeah, it said that I was harassing and bullying. Can I play the video?

Yes. So let me set this up. I stitched this video. There is a guy right now in TikTok. He has a ginormous gummy. It's huge. It's like a rope of gum. It's like a snake.

It's enormous, but it's shaped like a snake. And his whole thing is like, I'm going to lick it like it's a dick until it's all gone, mommy. So what he's doing is fucking offensive because there are kids on TikTok. Like, what are you doing, dude? So I found this scary person's thing. And then I just tagged a dumb comment and then, you know, like it's bullying. I think this guy needs to teach a class. Like just like nothing.

That's it? That's all I said. It's not even like, and this asshole isn't banned. This asshole gets to stay on. Why don't they fucking get rid of him? Oh, and then he's going to go live and suck its dick. That's what he's like. I'm going to go on the whatever TikTok live until I suck this whole snake's dick.

Yeah. And then his mom shows up in the background at one point. It's so fucking weird, dude. Do you think he probably is good though at second dick? That's what I'm saying. That's why he needs to teach a class because obviously he's got the skills to pit. And he likes it. And then I would take his class.

If he tried to suck my dick, I'd be like, no. And then I'd be like, all right. Oh, okay. I mean, he's, he's so, you let Jude Law suck it. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Holiday Jude Law, not current day, right?

Like, no, I don't want to be an agist. You know, you'd still let him suck it. I think so. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. Let him tell me stories. Yeah. There he is before and after teeth teeth.

That auto filled. I don't know why that. Okay. Looks like he's had that, that widow's peak for a while though. Yeah. He was, he was thinning before. No, he's still, I mean, he's still cute as shit. No, he's good.

He's good. Yeah. Very low. He looks good. 22. I mean, at 22, good lord. That's the British, you know, they age fast. Yeah.

No, what are you going to do? Anyway, I'm super fucking bummed. I'm, I'm just beside myself. Like, you know, I give my, my blood to this. Platform. And, you know, they will take away your account lickety split. There are so many people, so many great tech talkers, that just overnight they revoke your profile

and you don't even know why. You told me that the guy that most people think is probably the most famous in a way. Yeah. Dog face. Yeah. That does the cranberry thing with the, what's it called? What's the?

Nikki, you know. Chains, dreams. Yeah. Right. That's her name. Help us out. Fleetwood Mac. Fleetwood Mac.

Fleetwood Mac song. Yeah. That, it went viral. Yeah. That his account got removed. Yeah. So then, so dog face 420, right? That's his original account.

And for some reason, he got taken off. And then, so what they do is they just recreate it all over again. But then you've lost like all the numbers that you had. Yeah, yeah. Initially, it's not, it's fucking not cool. They do it all the time. So, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I'm not going to put my heart into tech talk anymore. I feel like I wanted to build my account, but I'm like, no, because I don't trust them. I don't trust them. So, I'm just going to stick to the gram, I think. You know? Like, I might produce my tech talks on their platform, but then only share them on the gram.

Well, I'll tell you this. I will delete my account in solidarity with you. Wow. Yeah. Well, you were making some great talks. Well, I kind of nailed one recently. Well, let's see it. Can we see Tom's talk?

I don't know if they can pull it up or not. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. Like, to kill it the way that I did, it was pretty amazing. I mean, I was inspired and then... Yeah. Well, you and I feed off of each other creatively. There's still one in the middle there.

Yeah, that one there. That one's really good. Yeah, that one. My back hurts. My fucking back hurts, man. You're a good back stretch. No. You're lower than me?

Yeah. There you go. Back hurts. You see how it's out of sync? Yeah, I like that. I don't even know how I did that. Wow. But I was pretty proud of that.

That's what they call happy accident in the TikTok world. I thought that that would really wow some people. Blew up. What are your numbers on that one? I don't know. Can we look at the stats on that one? Can you go back, make it the multi-frame, like where you see the whole grid?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because I'll tell you what... How many views did it have? 190,000. That's good numbers. Now, here's the best part about TikTok is that I've spent 17 years

devoting myself to stand-up comedy, craft, writing jokes, delivering jokes, getting the timing perfectly, getting a Netflix special, getting those clips cut up, put on the internet. They don't get nearly as many views as me going, no dude, no thanks.

And to some hippie in a van. Literally, if you look on the waterchamp, two of mine got half a million, over half a million views, and it's literally me going, no dude, no. And then boom, right? All this other work.

Now, there's the fart and the jar. Okay, but yeah, if you go, go down, I'll show you the one that's over half a mil. No, not that. That guy I make fun of, that one's over half a million too, right? Yeah, it's at 810. Which one?

Okay, click on it. This guy that thinks he's hot. And that was like. Yeah. And I just laughed. That's real. That's, that's real. Now, why isn't that bullying?

No, a lot of people accuse you of bullying in that one. The comments were all like, let that guy live his life, you asshole. Oh, there's the one, the glasses. This one is over half a million too. And it's so stupid. It's just this hippie guy saying, reasons you should consider

commune living. You get to hang out with your friends and I was like, no dude, no. 580,000 people. Meanwhile, the stand-up clip that I've actually given shit about, I did this in 10 seconds. My kids were in the bathtub.

It's infuriating. Yeah, keep doing it. Just keep at it. If they don't ban me. Yeah. Well, you're, you know what I mean? You're living dangerously. You're doing dangerous stuff.

You know what? They're trying to suppress my female voice. That's what they're doing. They're agist and sexist, Tom. Unfortunate. Fucking bitches. Yeah, right? Nice fucking bullshit.

They're out to get me. You know, it's a bummer. It's actually sad. Virgil Ablo died. I saw that. He was 41. What did he die from? It was a rare form of cancer.

I think it's a rare blood cancer. Yeah, so young. If you don't know Virgil Ablo, he was a designer and he, you know, he started the label Off-White. He was designing stuff for Kanye. He designed three of his album covers that are all pretty awesome, like my beautiful dark twisted fantasy,

Throne and Yeezus, or his designs. And then he became the creative director, artistic director for Louis Vuitton. I met him that day, the day he was named. That's right. I remember, I thought that sounded familiar. Because I knew who he was and I was on a flight to New York. I remember, I probably told this on the podcast

when it happened, but I was on a flight to New York and it's wild because a guy who has like styled us for shoots and stuff, he and I had talked about Virgil Ablo recently. So I'm on the flight and I was just going through news and it was a news article that said Virgil Ablo named artistic director for Louis Vuitton. It was a big deal because he was,

it was the highest ranking black executive and he was pretty young to get that appointment. It was like, I think it was probably 2018 or something like that. And like he came from streetwear. So it was like a whole, you know, a whole thing, right? And so I texted Seth and I was like, you see this? He was like, yeah, it's so rad that he's going to be that. It was just like, you know.

Seth's our stylist. Right. So, so anyways, I get to New York and I go to the hotel and I check in and as I get on the elevator, I'm just, I pick my floor and I'm looking down and I look down and the guy who's standing next to me has shoes and it has the Nike air in quotes. So if you look up like Virgil Ablo Nike air, you know, it's a very specific thing, right?

Where like he writes air in quotes and he had black ones on with white writing. So I'm like, oh, he's wearing Virgil Ablo Nike airs. I just looked down and I look up and he's like six, three, maybe six, four, he was pretty tall dude. And I was like, yo, man. I was like, you just got named the point of that today. He was very like nice, but humble, modest about it.

It was just a strange, I remember that I wanted to tell him that Seth had given me a off white jacket to wear on Conan, which I did a word on Conan. But the whole thing is that like it's such a, he was such a creative, like inspiring guy, I think to like to do as much as he did at such a young age. And it reminded me of that thing that like, you know, people say this sometime and you forget and it sounds silly,

but I think it's true. And that is like, you know, everybody gets either like shoes or a shirt or a jacket or a dress that you're saving for something. Yeah, your special occasion. For your special occasion. And the special occasion is today. Now, I know. Because you're alive today.

So just fucking wear whatever that thing is. And today's the special occasion, right? So yeah. And use the thing. Use it. Where are the things? The purse that you are saving. What are you saving it for?

What are you saving it for? Today's the day. Today's the day. He's 41 years old, incredibly accomplished guy, and he passed away. And like, you know, he came up with all these super cool fashions. He designed furniture and, you know, the whole off-white label. Super talented guy. Those are so cool.

That whole, that whole simplicity of writing the air on it, but it looks rad, right? Yeah, so cool. So I have one of my off-wights today. I have one of my off-wights today. But I was bummed out to hear and he battled cancer in secret. So nobody knew until he, they announced that he passed away. How long was he sick for?

Two or three years. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And he never made it public. So nobody knew. Yeah. Very sad. Tough.

Yeah, poor guy. Yeah, man. Life is fragile, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And the older we get, the more you realize it. When people start kicking off, you know, that you, people are age or... Yeah.

You're just like, what dude? Especially when it strikes you when it's somebody like this, right? Yeah. Because the age is obviously very young. He's at the height, I mean, the height of his career success and like, probably workload, like what he's doing, couldn't be busier. Yeah. And, you know, he's just gone like that.

He's just gone. And that's why you go to enjoy these dick-sucking clips while you can. And really watch these fart shows and... It's a nice transition. Enjoy all the dumb shit that you can, guys. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of, speaking of life-affirming, fuck it, why not, things, I saw a man in the audience

and Shark Lake titties shout out to the gentleman in like the third or fourth row. I walk up, he puts his arm on the table and he has written on his forearm, FGTRTD, in the biggest letters. And I was like, whoa, like I had to stop what I was doing. And save some. And I was like, I go, bro, you did not. He goes, it's real.

And he licks his hand and he does that. And I go, what do you do for a living? And he goes, well, I install air conditioners. I'm like, oh, that's okay. Then you can like cover that. You know, like, that's crazy though. It's the same thing. Yeah.

Yeah. And how fun. I know, I got... I mean, talk about silly and who gives a shit. Like, why not? You know? I just got two, I got tagged twice in the last three days for people that got my face tattooed on their body. I saw as well.

And I'm like, hey, man, thanks. And he's like, yeah, big fan. I'm like, oh, I know. I see it. I, you know, I wonder if there's ever been a time where comedians were revered like this. Look at that. Yeah. Because I think the comedians are, we're the last of the truth tellers in society right now.

If you go to my Instagram, actually one of them is in my stories right now. I think if you go today, just mute it because there's audio playing. But yeah, this is like in, in my fucking, oh, there it is. I saw that. That's really nice. That's wild. It's a beautiful tattoo. That's, that's someone being like, I'm a fan.

Like, holy shit, man. It's beautiful. What the fuck? Is that Sean's photo? It might be. Yeah. It might be. It's recent.

That's incredible. That is incredible. It's so crazy, dude. Yeah. I mean, you know, when you think about it, who's the most influential voice right now? And it's Joe Rogan, a comedian, which is wild. And somebody tattooed the two of us on there. I saw that, like the Habsies face there at it.

That's a cool one. It's also insane. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting time, you guys. Yeah. This guy sent me a message too. Comedians.

I was like, wow, man. That is, yeah. I mean, that's, it's outrageous. That's not as a thigh. I know. Do you think anybody did that for like Bob Hope? Like Bob. I don't know if it was a thing.

I know they're like, I got a tattoo for you, Phyllis Diller. What's up? You're like, I don't think so. I just wonder like what happens in, I don't know, three years in this person's like, I don't really like these guys anymore. I know. This one was like, they're on your thigh though, man. I know.

It's so big. All right. Hey, man. Thank you. It's a good tattoo though. I'm honored. It's a very good likeness of both of you, actually. It is.

They did a really good job. They did a good job. Thank God they did a good job. If it's a bad one. You mean in like most of the artwork I get tackled? I know. I know. We're keeping a file.

Hey, man. I sketched you today. I'm like, yeah, stay in school. No, you didn't. Jesus. Yeah. I mean, we appreciate the sentiments obviously, but Tom and I are considering putting a gallery together of all the artwork that doesn't look anything like us,

but we appreciate the sentence. It is wild. I mean, there are some creative interpretations and I get that. Not everything's like super realistic, but like some of them are just fucking so bad. Super off. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.

And they're like, hey, I drew you. I'm like, no, you didn't. Oh, look at that guy. It's not me. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. This is fucking guys.

You're like, this is funny. This is funny. You fucking shit. Getting scared like that. It doesn't work. I know. It's terrible. You know, I did that to you.

Man, a long time ago, we live on the stairs. I walked into your place. Remember that? No. You were in the kitchen cooking and I grabbed a knife. And I remember this. You remember that? No.

And I actually went, I threw it and it landed with the point in the floor of the, and I was like, ooh, I realized that it could have like landed on your foot. And yet I married you. All the flags were there. Yeah. I was like, no. And you were like, oh my God. And I was like, hey, just threw that knife while you were cooking.

You were like, okay. You're like, God, you scared me. I was like, yeah, that was the point. You usually scare me. Or you just, like you'll comment and be like, see that? Like you'll say my name fast. But what is it? What is it?

Yeah, you always panic. Yeah. Or like you, when you're just like, God damn it. I'll be like, what is it? What's happening? Is something real going on? And you're like, I can't find my keys. You know, it'll be something silly.

Like I dropped my fork. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, okay. All right, sorry. Are you okay? Sorry. Well, I grew up, you know, everybody's yelling in my house. I know.

What? You always react to like, if I'm just like, fuck. You're like, what happened? What happened? I'm like, I just dropped something. And you're like, oh my God, I thought something real happened. I'm like, I did. That's what I said.

I dropped something. It's because I'm like, you know, we've had two dogs, right? Together. Yeah. Fifo and Bitsy. And Fifo is a shelter dog, right? Yeah. Fifo came from the streets.

Fifo didn't know where his next meal was coming from. He spent a few nights outside. I'm Fifo. Bitsy grew up in a loving home. She doesn't worry about when the next treat's coming. She just knows they'll come. So I'm the Fif, you're the Bitsy. True.

I'm just a Fif, babe. That's my wiring. What the fuck? What's happening? I gotta hide. Who knows what'll happen tomorrow? This guy's falling. I think that's gonna happen again.

Fifo, when you gave Fifo a bone, like a treat, a bone, you know, to chew on, he would immediately go hide it, bury it immediately. You never know when you're going to have trouble and you go to get that again. And Bitsy's like, oh, I'm gonna eat this shit. Yeah. Now, he would go hide them because he didn't know when his next treat would come. Bitsy, yeah. He's just like, thanks, come on.

And then the funny thing is, but here's the funny thing. I was with Fifo a lot of times when he would rediscover a buried bone. He was like, the fuck do I do with this? Yeah. Then he carried around. He would just be like, I don't know. I just have this bone now. That's so true.

See, which is to our point of like, just use what you have today. So you just eat the fucking bone. Just give yourself the treat, dude. Yeah. Treat yourself, homie. Wear your special little fucking tutu today. Today, guys.

01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:47,120 Yeah. I'm definitely that guy recording. That's a good fall. Yeah, I wonder if he's okay. What do you think? No? I'm sure he's fine. He's fine.

He's pretty high up. That one is back. Yeah, arm could be broken. Yeah. Maybe it has a broken arm. Yeah. Those are fine. Those are fine, you know.

Yeah. Some guy at the club gave me figurines of you where it's a magnet and you can dislocate your, take the arm off of you. And he thought I'd be stoked to have it. He's like, here you go. Here's another one. I was like, I don't want this.

This is the worst day of my life. Like, no thanks. I've been given so much. I don't want it. Broken bone swag. And I'm like, oh, no, no. I have all the reminders. I know.

Yeah. Oh, we saw this one. Oh, this is good. It's the bird. We already played it. Mm-hmm. No. So I think that TV was cracked and he lit some component of it

and then it exploded. That was fantastic. Yeah. Let's see that again. That was cool as shit. Yeah. It's cracked open. Fuck, dude.

I didn't know you could do that with your TV like that. Why that idiot put a lighter in there? Put a flashlight in there, bro. Oh, I think he was trying to do something, you know. Oh, what a fucking idiot. There you go. The gas used in plasma TVs is a mix of two. Oh, it says nonflammable.

Yeah. Gases, neon and xenon. Both of which are in the gases are not harmful either individually or when combined. Can a plasma TV explode? Just gives you a video. Okay. I wonder where that came from

because that was obviously in another language, right? Yeah, maybe you put a firecracker in there or something. Oh, that could have been something. That would be really stupid. That's cool. Oh, I mean. Yeah, stupid. But cool to see.

Cool to see. Very cool to see. I don't think he's okay after that. No, no, no. Well, that fire coming at you. That's scary, man. Hoof, yeah. I'd like to smash a TV with a baseball bat.

You can. I know. There's like breaking rooms or something. I think we should do that for the Christmas party, yeah? Like the YMH Christmas party? Yeah. Will that be kind of cool? Sure.

Go break stuff? Very cool. Yeah. I like it a lot. Yeah, I've always wanted to drop a TV from like 10 stories. Also doable. Yeah, yeah. You make all your dreams come true when you're grown up.

And definitely set that up. Live your dreams. Yeah, I like that. Damn, that was like a wild. Yeah, thanks for sharing that. Listen, man, it's the holidays. You know what you need to get for the man in your life? Manscaped.

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Those are the best ones. Let me ask you this. Okay. Where do nuts come from? Cashews, almonds, palm nuts, palm. Where do they come from? I think they come from plants and fruits and seeds. They're seeds that grow into stuff.

And what kind of plants grow nuts? I don't know. Right. Did you know that nuts grow on trees? Trees. Trees. Yeah. See, I thought too.

I was like, okay, I know nuts are like, they're natural and stuff, but I've never seen like an almond tree. Yeah. So when I was like, I was researching nuts for some reason and I was like, holy shit, dude, they grow on fucking trees, bro.

Trees, pine nuts grow on trees. So do pistachios, but have you ever seen a pistachio tree in your life? No, not that I'm aware of. Or fucking pine nut tree. Dude, Google like image search. I want to see. Like I still don't know what they look.

That's what they look like, dude. Like nice little dex. That's a walnut tree. Yeah. Cashew nuts are in that thing. Like a bunch of these beautiful little dex growing out of. Look, that's a walnut. Hmm.

Looks like an orange. I don't know, shit. But I didn't know that they grew on trees. Brazil nuts are the grossest. I hate those. I don't think they set that bad of a pistachio effect. Really? I thought everybody knew this.

Did you guys all know that in the booth? To almonds grow on trees. See? I didn't really know at 100%. I actually thought they grew in bushes or something. Sames. I would say bushes. No.

I don't think you're that far off from. But trees? A lot of the population. Yeah. I mean, like I wasn't aware of that really. I mean. Yeah. How did that one pass me by?

I feel like I should have learned that in school. I think we definitely should have learned it. Yeah. Why didn't they teach you that like day one? But at the same time, I feel like if you were to pull like 100 people, not that many. You're as dumb as I am on that. I just feel like not that many would know. Yeah.

Like it would go, oh, they're growing trees. It would be 15%. I would have guessed a bush, like an almond bushel. There you go. Or out of the ground or something, but not a tree. Yeah. So that was pretty cool. And then Chase and I, Chase O'Donnell, my opener, the best.

Yeah. She's so funny. She does all those dancing videos. I send her like crazy, crazy people dancing and then I make her redo it. So check them out on her Instagram, chase underscore O'Donnell on Instagram. But anyway, she and I started doing this new thing where we dare each other to say food items incorrectly to the waiter. Yeah.

It is so much fun. So it's like a hello, mommy vibes, right? Hi, mommy. And I still call everybody mommy and jeans when we go out. Yeah. And she's always like, you got, you got called out once. Once in the last six years of doing it. And it was Omaha, Omaha.

So, so now what we're doing is finding a menu item and saying it incorrectly. And this one was salmon for Tata. And I was like, okay, I dare you to say salmon for Tata and just see what happens. And she was, she's like, okay, well, she did it really well. She snuck it in. So at first I was like, does this, is this vegan? Tell me about this avocado toast. Is that vegetarian?

Okay. And then the salmon for Tata and then the girl like, she didn't blink. And then, but she repeated it back correctly. Yeah. Which is her way of correcting it. Of correcting her. Yeah. Yeah.

But she didn't laugh. Right. But she heard you and she was like, this person's retard. And then she was like, salmon for Tata. Yeah, I can get, those are excellent. Yeah. But I'm thinking you and I should start doing this game together because I feel like it could be.

Mispronouncing things. Yeah. But trying to pass it off as you've done it innocently like, because salmon for Tata, you could theoretically say that. Yeah. Salmon for Tata. Yeah. Well, I could definitely see my father saying it.

Yeah. Yeah. Anything that's not steak and potatoes. He's like, how do you say this? Yeah. He just goes for it. It's always wrong. Yeah.

Like a cappuccino, you could be like a cappapinas, cappapino, or something like say it wrong. That'd be super fun. Let me get an espresso. An espresso. A crapuccino. Crapuccino. A crapuccino.

Yeah. You gotta get it going, buddy. Yeah. I mean, I just think that would be a fun new game to start. It's like, it is an extension of Hey Mommy, Thanks Jeans. Yeah, it is. A crapuccino, a salmon for Tata. Very good.

We got something amazing that I didn't know if we would. I always wondered if this existed or not. It's a fed smoker meeting a fan, somebody that actually recognizes him. Shut the front door. It's fucking so cool because I was like, somebody had to be like, because I always go, people would be like, what would you have been like? I would have been like, you're the greatest, you know?

Yeah. Especially because I'm kind of afraid of them. So I would have definitely been like, not dude, you're the man. Like, I know how confrontational he can be. I love the videos, dude. Keep them coming, you know? You want to stay on his good side.

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. And I know what he's capable of. So I think that's a good way to keep him at it. You know, it's just be like, you're really talented. What are you thinking of videos, man? Man, you're a bad ass dude. Which one do you like the best?

That's epic. Which one do you like the best? All of them like a best. I watch them all, man. You did it, man. How'd you get turned on to it? You just follow it? Yeah.

And the kids watching it and it's down. Oh, hell yeah. You hear a full volume going on in the background? What is he listening to? He's watching YouTube videos in his squad car. Yeah. On the laptop. Full volume while talking to this guy.

And it's obviously picking up both. And then he always brings it back to the chariots. All right, yeah. Yep. Yeah. But what you do, I have to bow to you because you're fucking awesome. Hey, man, I do what I can, man. I go nationwide.

You know the fuckers need it, dude. They do, don't they? All of them need it. They do, they do. They do. It's clear across the board, brother. Also, if I had met him, I would lean hard, hard into conspiracy talk.

Yeah. You know. Like a bunch of these fucking rounder earthers out here, man, spread that fucking bullshit. Trying to get us to get vaccinated and shit and fucking, you never knew those chips. And by the way, there's fucking feds all over. I would have just been like spitting his shit back to him.

And he'd be like, yeah, yeah, you know. I mean, we're fucked. And since Trump, come on, even though I like him, even though I like him, I'd rather have him than anybody. And he's gotten even worse, brother. Yeah. I would call him brother a lot. I would have definitely been like, yeah,

Trump's fucking solid. But this guy looks like him, too. Oh, this is a young, yeah, in her country, yeah. I've been putting cops in jail since I was about 3-3. His, you know, he also stays on the message. Always. Robert Paul Champagne stays on the message. Unkshine stays on message.

I don't know that there's a single fed smoker video that exists that doesn't happen saying, I've been putting cops in jail. I know. You know? That's so true. He always lets you know. I'm 15 now, so 17 years have been here.

Well, yeah, 17 years have been put away. At least, at least put them in check. Like, a lot of times I got it. It don't matter what you got. You got Mayor one, the hot city council, now that was bloody as fuck, dude. He didn't get no shit. He's a real fan.

Like, he really does know all of his work. Yeah. And he's right, that city council is the shit. That's a really good one. Yeah, that was a good one. Um. Nice to meet you here. You're a good guy, man.

Ryan, what was your name again? My real name is Connell Pearson. My friends call me Herk. My car's name is fed smoker. I didn't know that ever. That trivia. My friends call me Herk. Herk.

Herk. Herk. Because he's Herk News is also one of his channels. H-E-R-K or H-E-R-C. So Connell, we knew that. Herk, my car's name is fed smoker. I didn't know that. So that's like fucking night, right?

Like, that's the name of the vehicle. And he's David Hasselhoff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now that it makes sense, because didn't he have it written on the side of his car? So the vehicle is fed smoker.

That's the wildest shit I've ever heard. The layers on this guy. By the way, hey, Patty. Yes, that's me. Can you figure out, can you put somebody on trying to get that vehicle? Like, actually acquiring the car? Yeah. So contact, because we found out where he was buried.

You saw that, right? That was, so he's buried at this mass grave in Arizona. You contact, maybe put somebody on contacting that, you know, whatever. Impound lot. Yeah. That are close. And see if we can acquire that vehicle. I mean, a top notch car like that,

there's no chance that they would have cubed it by now, right? No way. I don't know, man. Yeah, we'll try and find it. See if we can find it. Nice hat, by the way, today. We're kind of the same, you know? We're kind of the same, yeah.

He's like, yeah. Oh, I love your videos. I watch them every day, dude. That's great. Are they inspiring? Are they inspiring? Yeah, they are. They are.

They make you want to go get a tape recorder, don't they? Makes me want to go get the balls to do what you did. You know, it is what it is, man. We're old. He's playing his own video. And he's like, he's confused by his own. He's like, was that me? Yeah.

I ended up dead doing this real easy, you know? It's kind of wild when the fan is exactly like you. I mean, sometimes it does happen where I meet someone and they're like, dude, I would be best friends with you. And I'm like, actually, you're pretty similar. Yeah, like I could see that. And it's neat when game recognized game. You know what I mean?

Like out in the field. He really met a brother out there. Yeah. He's fighting with his dog. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. That dog hates him.

That was that was fucking cool. That was the most revealing peek into his life. I mean, that was really authentic. He didn't set that up. That came to him. My real name is Connell Peterson. Yeah. That was fucking rad.

Wow. Good work, you guys. Yeah. And we're just scratching the surface. Yeah. Who is Connell Peterson? Oh man. And see, you see what he was doing there at the end,

by the way, before the dog and him got new one? No. He offered, he was offering the guy money. Right. He's like, I have money today, bro. Yeah. He's like, you're all right? Yeah.

So he knew he was like a. Street cat. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. See, he's a compassionate guy too. Her cat of heart. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, he saw a like-minded buddy and. Oh yeah. And I think you were best served to be around Connell just telling him that he's a shit. Yeah. There's no tolerance for any other point of view.

Any other thing. I don't think. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. He like cited his works. I mean, that's like you meeting a fan and being like, dude, completely normal.

That's my jam. Yeah. I love your bikes bit. I also like that deep cut, white girls with cornrows. And you're just like, dude, you really are a fan. Like that guy legit. Fuck. Now here's the real question.

Do you think that that kid knew him through your mom's house? Or a purist? Well, that's interesting. That's a smoker lover. I think it might have been a purist. Yeah. Like I think so. It sounds like that because he's like,

I love that clip where you do this. Like he's on his YouTube. And it sounds like he was probably in the place that he resided in in Arizona. Yeah. This is local. So almost like that guy knew that Herc was around. Herc.

Yeah. Herc. Yeah. Fuck. I had another cool, speaking of Herc, I had another cool thing to show you. Sure. You remember week or two ago.

Fuck did I do, bro? This guy? Yeah. Hey excuse me. Yo. This guy's the best. Hey you got a nice body. You want to give him a massage after this?

Yeah. She's like, ooh. So that happened. Yeah. And then they kicked him out of the gym. I remember. Right. I remember that.

Fuck. Look at this guy too. He's all fucking mad I bet. You're on this side, huh? Oh. Don't record me. There's cameras above you. Dumb fucking being recorded right now.

Your membership's canceled. I don't give a shit. I didn't do shit wrong. If I was a female, you wouldn't treat me like this. So in the spirit of Fesmokers, they kicked him out. Yeah. And they, well they revoked his membership as they, right? He went back to work out.

And he scanned his membership card. No, he did not. Yeah. What are you fucking here? What are you asking me for, bro? Your membership says it's revoked. We got to talk to you at the front. No, bro.

For revoked for what? I don't know. Let's go talk about it. No. It's not revoked, dude. It says revoked on the one you checked in with. Okay, then fix it right now. Yeah, let's go.

Right to the front. Okay, go fix it. I don't want to go up there. I need you to fix it with me. But what do I got to do? You got to come over to the front with me. Just come up the front. All right.

Dude. I mean, could you imagine? Solid work, Jay. Like, I'd be so embarrassed if I got kicked out of somewhere and then to show him. He doesn't feel that. You're like, no. Like one time when I was pregnant with Ellis,

I gained like 70 pounds because I was eating Carl's Jr. three times a week and then on those off days in and out, like I was. Off days? Yeah. What, that means alternating Carl's Jr. and in and out? Yeah. I gained a lot of weight on that first pregnancy.

And I was in the Albertson supermarket by our house and I was like eight months pregnant and I looked enormous and the guy goes, oh, you're pregnant with twins? Like a guy that works there? And I got so mad at him. I was like, don't fucking say that to a pregnant woman. Okay. I'm not.

Okay. I'm not like I freaked out on him. And like I didn't go back to that Albertsons ever again. And that's just because I had a bad day and you know what I mean? But to get my shit revoked and then. Yeah. It's embarrassing for sure. Yeah.

It's embarrassing. I know. So here's the next clip. Okay. Here's my fuckers. Here's my fucking memberships revoked because I hit on a bitch the other day and the fucking manager wants to say, oh revoked out of nowhere, dude. Come on.

Don't bullshit me, bro. Fix it right now. Just bullshit. I'm not going to show you the videos because I don't have time to. Make sure we do a deep dive. With him and Dr. Drew. I really want to show Dr. Drew all of these. Save these for when he's on, please.

On White Edge? Why is he on? Yes. Sure. Let's fix it right now. I don't have time to waste. I got to work out right now. You understand?

Oh sure. Get it? Okay. So fix it right now. I'm ready to work out. There you go. Let's fix it. All right.

It's just that same, that looking for confrontation. Yeah. Yeah. Look, there's always one of these guys. Whenever you work in a public service industry, there's always a guy like that. And you just got to keep kicking his ass out or beat the shit out of him until he goes away. Unfortunately, most of those guys don't record themselves.

And this guy does. This guy's taken too long. It's time to work out. You're not going to block me. Yeah, you're not. You're doing. I'm talking to you. Don't fucking touch me.

For talking to a girl. You see this dude? He's fucking bumping in for me. It's time to work out. Everybody is looking at you. Dude, don't make us have to call the cops on you, please. Call the cops on me for what? Because you're a membership.

Dude, revoked. You can't even explain why, bro. No, I'm working out right now, bro. Look at you guys tripping the fuck out. Such a victim, you know. The funny thing is his channel is just a whole playlist of confrontations. But I think this actually does end poorly for this guy. What happens, it's like that Joe Schilling thing.

It's like he's just going to confront the wrong person. You know? Definitely. That's just going to happen. And he might not be rolling camera. He might be, who knows? Definitely. But like he's going to like talk shit to like a cartel guy.

Oh yeah. Someone's going to be like, okay. And they're just going to fucking disembowel him in the parking lot. That's what used to happen to guys like this before the internet. You know, I worked in bars as a cocktail waitress. Oh yeah, you're slut. I'm a slut. Yeah.

And I mean, this is back before people uploaded videos of themselves doing anything, right? Like I just gotten out of college. And like I feel like bouncers would just destroy people nightly like this. Like this school would never shut down. 01:30:43,120 --> 01:30:45,680 Oh, if he did this shit in the wrong bar, for sure. Done. Some of those bouncers too are just looking to crack someone's head.

Yeah. And you get, you know, I've been in bars where the bouncer, you're like, this is your bouncer. This is like a not a very big strong guy. And then there's bouncers that I've been around where I'm like, oh my God. Like to fuck with this guy would be the wrong decision. Yeah. And that's what he's going to end up doing.

I think. I know. I'm surprised Connell lived to 50 at least is what we know. He said, I'm 50. I've been doing this since I was 33. I thought, wow, that's that's a decent run for a guy who's really putting himself out there. Who goes hard. Yeah.

Yeah. Really never backs the fuck down. Yeah. But also he's probably lost some battles before that obviously we don't, you don't see documented. That's true. Nobody puts their failures up. No, not generally.

Not generally. No. This guy's awesome. What do we call him? This guy? Does he have a name? Jay Rockefeller. Jay Rockefeller.

Yeah. That's what he's going by, right? Yeah, I believe so. Jay Rockefeller. Oh my gosh. Can I take a pitch real quick? Yeah. Yeah.

Jay Rockefeller. Ready in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. That was pretty good. Castilian. Yeah. Cateo. Cateo. Yeah.

I think he's thinking Panya. Como serife. This is funny to me because you like, I don't know, was it a couple months ago, you were like, did you see Tom Cruise on TikTok? Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was a guy that was doing a really killer impression. And I didn't put it together that you told me as a deep fake. Like of the highest caliber.

Yeah, it's really good. So that guy, there's a couple of players at this deep fake. The Tom Cruise one specifically. There's a guy who's like basically kind of orchestrating it, directing it. And he said, you know, to do it, he found the somebody who knows the mannerisms and has the similar body type. They're around 60 minutes. Yeah.

It's good. Of course it's good. What's crazy is you being like, that's a great impression. I know. Like, I mean, you can kind of see a little bit of it. Some of it when he moves. Yeah, but it's kind of amazing though, because you were one of those. Yeah, I'm an idiot though.

So that's the guy right there who actually designed, he's not the actor. Okay. He's the one who came up with the technology. He's the guy who visual effects artist. Wow. He's thinking that as long as it's a, you know. He's explaining it's a parody. It's okay, legally.

But I think most people that watch that don't clearly understand that. Clearly. I did not clearly. I thought it was just a guy like, you know, an impressionist. We've known many in the comedy world for years, just some guy who maybe looked a lot like Tom Cruise thought, oh, I can make a living doing this. Maybe I'll put on a prosthetic nose, the teeth. Maybe he does a little something.

Yeah. And he, because the mannerisms, I don't think you can't fit. You have to learn to kind of like do those mannerism. This is his actor. So, so you're right. So he, this guy really nails. Nail. Oh my God.

See that's good. But then he does the stitches that on. It's amazing. So then it's, that's perfect. It's pretty wild, right? Well, it's, it's amazing. And it also brings up so many questions, right? And the intellectual property world, identity.

And this is going to change forever. It makes you go like, how will entertainers keep their job? I mean, they're going to have to like have laws about this. Yeah. You could just create, you know. Oh, you could create very damaging videos. Oh, that for sure will happen too. Yeah.

So this guy explains here, this is something we did actually for my music video with Bert. Yeah. Really? Really? So the, the main thing is, we wanted to surprise shock Bert by putting his face on the big guy, the big actor. Because the gag is that Bert's this, you know, huge guy.

That he stabbed to death. Yeah. And that was just my sweet touch at the end. But you know, the main thing is Rami who directed it. And he's, he's really good at visual effects. He's done a lot of music videos, commercials. He goes, I need to capture him from all angles. Kind of like they're, they're doing here.

So that, so that we, he could do a good deep fake, the same idea. And so he put Bert in the lobby and just had him run ads for promos for two pairs, not even mic'd up. Oh, hilarious. Bert didn't catch on. That Bert didn't catch on. And then I also told Bert that I would return to do mine later. I gotta get Alice to band.

So, but that's what he did. Is he, he's like, I just want to get Bert doing different expressions and had him just do it over and over. And this way he could take that and put it over Tom Nicholson. The actor who played the, the big Bert. Wow. Yeah. It's fascinating.

It's pretty wild. Yeah. It's so amazing how fast these things change, you know? I know. You watch movies that are- And to think, by the way- 20 years old, they look like shit. This deep fake stuff, like the good versions of it started

like a few years ago, really? Yeah. Yeah. That's where we are now. What will this be in 10, 20 years? I mean, there are fans that do stuff with us. Yeah. Um, do you know one nun?

Right? He does a lot of great deep fakes. A lot of the comedy, like collaborators, meme makers, they do those deep fakes that are- Very well. A lot of them. There was a really good one of me on a Taliban guy. I'm sitting next to Bert and they put in it.

It's just me talking. It's like- It's really funny. I don't know who made it. There's so many people that make good ones. Will you look at my Instagram page and find the one? My Deezus, prolific memes, what is it? Heather Fakes.

She does great stuff too. Heather Fakes, it does good ones. What's it? Mr. Clavicles, obviously. Mr. Clavicles. There's so many good ones. He has me doing Vicky. Wow, Vicky.

Oh, yeah. Whoa, whoa, yeah. Whoa, Vicky, yeah. That one was real. Yeah, Juno one-handed on that. Yeah, that was his. Whoa, Vicky. He's like, the vaccine, I'm going to get vaccinated.

And I was like, like, he nailed me. Yeah, but you know why that works? Probably because he's done it a few times for you and her. You guys probably have a similar facial structure. I think we both will. That's why I'm a perfect deep fake on Garth. Because we have a very similar, like, facial structure. Yeah, yeah.

So someone explain that to me. He's actually one of the deep fake, like, masters. He goes, your face matches. With Garth. So it's easy to put you on him. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. I wonder where my will is.

So you got to have an, like, for this, to have to find an actor whose face is really similar. Yeah. Yeah, because she and I have big eyes. Yeah. We have deep eye pockets. I think that's why we work together well. There's so many great ones.

Yeah. There's a stupid woman. Oh yeah, someone deep faked me as the woman with the crocodile that peed. Yeah. Peed on her. That was really good. Those are good.

I mean. That raccoon licking water. Have you seen that one? Yeah. That's a good one. Yeah. And there's Chase doing her dances. Basically, like, I ain't going to get no vaccine.

There it is. There she is. 01:38:42,400 --> 01:38:43,840 I mean, this isn't pregnant. Yeah. So good. Yeah. Seeing stuff is stupid.

I do not agree with it. I will never get no vaccine. I'm not punishing him about it. I don't care if y'all come out. 2,000 viruses a camera. She's so great. Yeah. God, I love her.

Whoa, Nikki. So there's this TikTok account where this Black Lady translates what Woe Vicki is saying. Hilarious. So she's like, great. Thank you. Welcome to what is Woe Vicki saying this week. And some of them are so unintelligible.

We all want to hear what about her. And she's just like, I believe what she's saying is, we're here. We're not leaving. That's fantastic. I'll pull some for you. I'll get some this time. So funny.

I love it. I love it. Yeah. Look at that. And there's Bert. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's perfect.

Oh, my God, babe. The faking. How about that? I got the face for it. Family Guards. That's where it spits. What did you, why did you hurt Christina? Don't be skinned.

Stingy G. Used to be visible. And, and like you would be like, now it's, but they haven't, they didn't block me. What they didn't realize is that this is really upset me. I don't like this G. I don't like that everyone's having fun without me. And I think you should unrestrict T-buns

from commenting on your account. Yeah. Got that. Yeah. Cause your face. Who made that? That's fucking, it's so good. Who made that?

That's the fake, the fakeening. The fakeening. Yeah. So he's like. Amazing. Top tier level at this, right? Like. Yeah.

Your facial features look just like Taliban leaders. That's so true. Yeah. And I look like well Vicky. Wait, can you Google well Vicky? I forget what she looks like in real life. Let me look at her. Do you remember the, the cool guy?

Yeah. Right. I can see this structure. Yeah, you must share some structure. Yeah. Big eyes. Her eyes are farther apart than mine. Yeah.

Oh God. I'm embarrassed. Let's not do this anymore. I'm depressed. So do you remember the guy, a lawyer made a cool guy application that was like really detailed? I do. Yeah.

Very well. Matt S. It was amazing. He took it upon himself to draft a complaint for me to file against Garth and federal court for negligent inflection of emotional distress resulting from Garth's blocking of me on social media. This is a licensed attorney in Florida. So it's not going to be relevant in the federal district court.

But he cannot bring it on my behalf. So I will have to let attorneys here kind of modify it and fire it. But he, he went in detail. This guy. I mean, in detail, undersigned counsel of Sue's defendant, Troyle Garth Brooks, a.k.a. G. Chris Gaines for guns Garth unwarranted social media banning of for Segura, refusal to let Segura have fun.

And Garth failure to disclose the location of the bodies, all of which have resulted in extreme emotional distress and emotional and physical injury to Segura in support there of plaintiff further alleges as follows. At this time of action, Segura is a resident of Austin, Texas. At this time of action, Garth is a resident of Tulsa, Oklahoma. This court has jurisdiction of plaintiff does not share state citizenship. And the damages here and exceed $75,000 and it goes on.

I mean, it's like factual allegations. It's it's detailed. I mean, it's it's exactly what you would file in court. Segura and Christine. And your name is there multiple times as Christine. This is so funny. Pages of this. Pages.

This is silliness. I love it. Can we publish this on the website? Can people see this? Yeah. In December, Brent Kirschner. Brent Kirschner, we're engaged in a dunk contest under normal circumstances.

Segura being in far better shape than Brent Kirschner would have excelled at this contest. However, due to Segura's damage, mental health caused directly and solely by Garth's actions. Segura took a misplaced step on his dunk approach. And as a result, suffered catastrophic injuries to both his leg and arm. I mean, this is all very true.

Yes. One thing I'll have to have modified just so you know is that I am not a junior. So people don't know that. No, you're not. I'm not a junior. So I'm going to have to have that part. You know, modified. But I really appreciate this, Matt.

I mean, it's what is right. Babe, how many pages did he draft? It goes on. Do you know how many hours this took this man? This is 20 pages of legal documents. No, it's 20. I think it's page five. Oh, shit.

I was like, this guy has spent like 20 billable hours doing this. He says that my psychological trial was also direct in proximate cause to the inflicting of injuries upon Christine, his wife, which also was sure only to further compound those damages suffered by cigarette. Yeah. Free Tom and award damages. 75 grand is what we're suing Garth? No, no, no, no.

That's the amount of the damages? No, that they far exceed that amount. I don't know exactly how much we're trying to collect here, but I think it would be. This is amazing. You know, several, several million. He's blaming. He's blaming your accident. The argument here is that due to the emotional distress of being ignored.

I mean, it's not an allegation. It's true. Right. But then, yeah, that's what we're saying here, that because of the stress of being ignored by Garth, that's what led to- And being blocked and being like- The traumatic accident. Yeah.

He basically has traumatized us. Right. And then it's time to, you know- But that it led to your accident because you were so psychologically damaged. Yeah. Time to tell a judge, basically. Yeah. It's his fault that you got injured.

And I think that's accurate. Yeah. And I think we need to make him accountable. Yeah. For your accident. I think so too. We'll see what happens. Okay.

We'll see what happens. Thank you, Matt. His attorney responds. I almost forgot about it. So thank you for reminding me. Well, you're coming up. This is your year anniversary almost, right? Well, the year just passed, yeah.

Good time. All right, we got to go. This is Ice Latte by Craftmatix. We'll see you guys next week or just over a week from now. It'll be Christmass, little baby Jezuschka's boy. Jezuschka is born today. That'll be Patty's first official Christmas as, you know, on the right team. Oh, wonderful, Patty.

Pretty exciting. Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. All right, we'll see you guys next week. Bye, Jeans. Bye, Jeans. What's going on?

What's going on? It's Charles from Match. Actually, my new office. I really like it. Not going to lie. And it's got this really cool view. I've been here, I don't know, since 7.30. And I got my, got my Ice Latte.

Ice, Ice Latte. Ice Latte. It's Charles. Ice, Ice Latte. Ice Latte. Ice, Ice Latte. Oh! It's got this really cool view.

Cool, cool view, view. There we go, egg. Oh! There we go, egg. Oh! Oh, there we go. I've been here, I don't know. I don't know.

Oh! I don't know. Since 7.30. It's Charles. And I got my, got my Ice Latte. Ice, Ice Latte. Ice Latte. It's Charles.

Ice, Ice Latte. Ice Latte. Ice Latte. Oh! It's got this really cool view. Cool, cool view, view. There we go, egg. Oh!

There we go, egg. Oh! Oh, there we go. I'm looking at Lily's and Union Square. Oh! Say around 8 o'clock, 8.15. It's Charles. But anyway, should be called.

Hi, thank you for watching that episode of your mom's house. I really appreciate it. If you want to see more, you can click on any of these videos in this general area. And also, if you haven't subscribed, please do. It helps feed our cats. Go have any cats.