Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - 635 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura
Episode Date: December 22, 2021SPONSORS:- Head to https://Squarespace.com/MOM and use the offer code MOM for a free trial and to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.- Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now,... use promo code MOM, bet JUST FIVE DOLLARS on any NBA team, and win ONE HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS IN FREE BETS if they’re victorious.- Go to https://WHOOP.com and get 15% off when you use the code MOM at checkout.- Get 25% off a membership when you sign up now at https://Fitbod.me/MOM- Go to https://PeacockTV.com and binge the entire first season of MacGruber now!- Go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and use code MOM at checkout to get 25% off ANYTHING you order! Pull those jeans up, it's Christmas time with Tom Segura and Christina P! We get started with checking in on Patty's J status, and get into Christine's excitement for the Sex and the City reboot! We open with another super cool racing interview, Tim updates Christinith on Bart Chrystler's insane touring habits, and get a new mispronunciation of Brad Kreischenger's name! We watch a super cool compilation of a mommy touching IG lives through the fence, and the main mommies give a top notch film critique of the Princess Diana movie "Spencer" with Kristen Stewart, as well as House of Gucci with Lady Gaga, Adam Driver, and Jared Leto along with some potential spoilers. We get an update on the LatinX movement, Christina asks for Tom's help on how to appropriately figure out someone's pronouns, we see a rad fish eating challenge, and see a really cool selfie with Joel Osteen. We check out a soda review, check out the Chris Larson December post, We get an update on Christina's TikTok bans and get in a rabbit hole of a TikTokker's dirty feet. We get into Christina's curations, Tom trying to figure out if a tall person he saw was a pro basketball player, and his strategies to not talking to people on a plane.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
So, like, just transition from, like,
oh, I saw this movie.
Oh my God, I hated it.
Hey.
Just like that.
Hey, did you see House of Gucci yet?
No, how was it?
What's your pronoun?
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Like that?
That was good.
That was good.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh oh.
Oh oh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh oh.
Oh oh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
That's not bad.
Not bad at all.
Pretty good.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
It's Christmas.
It is.
It's not the holiday season, it's Christmas time.
God damn it.
I will say I was in Michael's arts and crafts
getting more decorations for our home
and it was very strictly a merry Christmas environment.
There were no happy holidays.
Merry Christmas, y'all.
Yeah, yeah.
It brought me back to like the 90s, you know?
I was like whoa.
Yeah.
You're cool.
That's kind of what it is down here in Texas.
It's the 90s.
I think my favorite ongoing thing is
Nadav's telling me that people are like,
huh, I've never met you before.
What?
Is that happening still to you, Nadav?
Well no, I'm a scene now.
I'm on Team JC.
But it was an early experience.
It was sorry before your conversion.
No, yeah, that really threw me off.
Yeah.
It was very weird.
It was a weird sentence that someone decided to say out loud.
It's also, on top of that, it's a weird reality, right?
Like that someone's just like, not just saying it,
but you're like, that is your experience.
That the person's like, whoa.
For real?
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Because I moved out of Jaytown and into Seatown.
Yeah.
Are you finding, have you met any of Jay's?
I mean, other than going to Jewboy's sub shop,
who I guess is half Jay,
that's the most Jay I've seen out here.
Yeah.
Good sandwich, right?
Great sandwich.
Really great sandwich.
I went to Jayboy burgers like a couple months ago.
Right.
It was really good.
Yeah, he reached out to me.
He's just like, hey, come over and have a burger with me.
Like, okay.
I mean, I don't really like to associate with Jay's anymore,
but I will do it, you know, as a formality.
Yeah.
Or just as, actually as a good Christian,
a good Christian.
Right.
That's right.
Yeah.
It is bold of him to call it Jewboy burgers and Jewboy.
I think, well, I think it would, can you imagine if the guy was like,
no, I'm Baptist.
I just said, fuck him.
But, but at least he is half, you know,
and then probably, I've met a lot of people who were like,
yeah, let's go to that fucking.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
I wonder if it's a smart plan.
It would be like me opening up a burger place and calling it dumb broads.
Yeah.
You know, you stupid bitch.
Yeah.
And then they're like, well, a stupid bitch works here.
No wonder it sucks so bad.
Right.
But also, you know, I think you have to be a woman to open dumb broads burgers.
Dumb broads.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If a guy does it, you're like, you can't do that, man.
You got to be that group.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stupid, stupid bitch burgers.
Right.
Dude, I would make a fucking killing off stupid bitch burgers.
Probably.
And what if they were all like sloppily made and dumb too?
No, I think the thing is you want to make them killer.
Oh.
You want to make them like really good so people are like,
have you been to dumb bitch burgers?
Like that place is the best.
Yeah.
But I call them really fucked up shit.
Yes.
That you could do.
But you want the product to be great.
Yeah.
Like the funny thing is that the J-Boy burger is real good.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
You have like the morning after pill burger.
Yeah.
Like oops, I fucked up.
You know, like that kind of.
I keep fucking up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't do math burger.
Yep.
I can't drive for shit burger.
Yep.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
I can't balance my own checkbook burger.
Stuff like that.
You say like, you love it.
Yeah.
You and your dad love that kind of stuff.
Dumb broads.
I think he likes it the most.
He does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or yeah, I don't know geography burger or stuff like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's also, most of those things are pretty accurate you just said.
Yeah.
For me?
Yeah.
Definitely.
I have a loose grasp of current events.
But I'm very excited about the new sex in the city.
You know what I mean?
Like that's what I'm worried about.
What's that going to be like without Samantha?
That's what I think about most.
And how do they, do you know how, I think I saw a blurb that they had to come up with
some way to write her out of it.
Yeah.
Friendships change.
Oh.
We learned that from Stevie.
Bobby Lee's that has a part in the new one.
It certainly does.
Yeah.
I saw, I've been following it on Instagram, all the teasers and such.
Does he get to smash or what?
We'll see.
Yeah.
I don't want to reveal anything, but this is my news.
This is my form of the news.
That's good.
She wearing the same belt she wore in the 90s.
That tells me, I don't know what's happening in the world.
And I don't want to know.
I'm over it.
Yeah.
I feel like I had enough last year of knowing what's happening in the world.
Yeah.
And I'm all done knowing.
I don't need to know anymore.
I know enough now.
I did actually, for somebody that I really have always been into reading, you know,
the news and stuff.
I got news fatigue, too.
Really?
I did.
Yeah.
I mean, I still have some idea, but I'm not as well informed as I was.
I just got too exhausted by all of it.
The same's ease.
I feel like I need a break from the world and, you know, I can't do it anymore.
Too tired.
Too tired.
Just focusing on my small little world.
Yeah.
That's all I can do.
Oh.
You want to do some sand updates?
If you want to.
I'd love to butt plug some dates.
It's fucking Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
COVID, you know, 19 virus.
Where are you going to be?
I'm in Brea, January 14th and 15th.
Getting ready to take my special at the Gramercy Theater in Jewdork titties.
Those shows sold out so fast.
So thank you to everybody.
I'm looking forward very much to seeing you.
I come back.
I do Cap City, February 2nd, 16th.
And the Miami improv at the end of February.
And then keep going, keep going.
And then I do Tampa, Florida, Austin again.
And then in LA, I'm doing the Netflix comedy festival at the Regent Theater May 3rd.
Get your tickets.
And then the Irvine improv May 20th, 21st.
The Borgata in Atlantic City, Ju Jersey.
And then.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I say that incorrectly?
Good.
I like it.
And then Momsen, Mass, Sad, Huge Tits at the Wilbur in June, June 5th right now.
That's great.
That's really nice.
Really good.
We're fuck partners.
I am doing two shows on New Year's Eve at the Hawaii Theater in Honolulu, Hawaii.
The early show sold out.
I think there's a few tickets left for the late show, which will take us right up to,
I think, midnight.
I think.
We're close to around there.
So, yeah, New Year's Eve.
And then there's a bunch of dates on sale at TomSugarra.com.
I will be on the road a lot in 2022 and 23 and 24 and 25.
So I'm coming everywhere world tour.
Check it out.
You ready?
Ready.
This is an opening clip.
Let's do it then.
And Ricky, I know dejection, but what happened from the 20RT's vantage point?
I mean, clearly the fucking 28's are retard.
I don't know what the fuck he's doing.
What are we here to make it last?
You just want to fucking wreck all the log carts.
Hopefully someone dumps his stupid ass.
Obviously, Ricky Thornton Jr. not very pleased.
Who is Randy?
You don't bring anyone loving to this.
You're loving to fucking stand.
Welcome.
Welcome to your mom's house.
With TomSugarra.
TomSugarra.
And Christina Pajitcin.
Christina Pajitcin.
Welcome to your mom's house.
There's a bottle opener there because Barf sat there the last two days.
Yeah, I can still smell it.
This room smells like cigarettes.
Like stale cigarettes and alcohol.
It's like Bert lived here for 24 hours.
He was actually only here for a couple hours.
That's the effect he has on a room.
His skin smells like this a lot.
He looks the way he smells.
It's rough.
It's deep in here.
You guys really blew it out.
He insisted.
What did you do?
I succumbed to peer pressure.
We partook and consumed marijuana.
You smoked it?
Yeah, we smoked it.
We smoked cigars.
And I had some Añejo tequila.
And then he had some and then he had like fucking 14 beers.
And then he got on a plane, right?
I think a bus.
A bus.
And then yeah.
And this is considered him dialing it down.
Like his guys that he rolls with are like,
Dave Langston came by and was like, it's a real nice break.
Like he worked out this morning.
Oh my gosh.
That's wild.
It's nice to get some rest.
And I'm like, yeah.
Well, so is he still touring with the bus with a big sticker of him on the side?
Yeah, it's a new one.
The new sticker.
But yeah, yeah.
It's a new wrap.
This is me.
Yeah, people pound on the doors and stuff.
I know.
It's exactly what you think would happen if you put your face on a bus.
Hey, come on over.
He's like, they're not letting me sleep.
I'm like, yeah, because they know you're in there.
Well, it's funny too because so one time we did an outdoor show.
We did an outdoor show with him in LA and his bus.
And what they do is during the show, some guy is barbecuing.
Dave, that's Dave.
Yeah, Dave.
Oh, right.
I love him.
Yeah.
In front of the bus next to the bus is smoking meats as Bird is performing so that when
Bird gets off stage, there's like a rack of ribs.
And he's like a professional grade grill master.
It's really good.
I've had his ribs.
Yeah.
I mean, he gave me steaks and he has his own seasoning now.
Oh, wow.
You're kidding.
Yeah.
Because Dave is like competition level grill guy.
Oh, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, he's not just like a guy like firing up a grill.
He really does it.
He really does it.
Geez.
And he's a great comic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I mean, yeah, Dave's grilling meats.
There's beers and fucking margaritas and tequila.
And I asked Bird, like, when do you normally go to sleep?
He's like, on the road?
Yeah.
He's like three.
Yeah.
It's like a normal go to bedtime.
And then when does he wake up?
When he wakes up, like 10.
So he gets like, I guess like seven hours.
I tell you, like even just going on the road in a hotel.
Yeah.
Going to bed at 2 to 30, drinking two whole glasses of white wine.
Yeah.
Waking up.
My face is all puffy.
I look like shit.
Everything feels like shit.
And that's just from like going to bed late.
Yeah.
Drinking a couple of glasses.
You got to push through it.
That's what he does.
He pushes through.
This feels bad.
I should keep going.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's give him a little, give him a little shout out.
There we see Paine and ringside.
It'll be one of the judges from the Gold Big Show returns on January 6 on TVS alongside
Rosario Dawson, Cody Rhodes, Jennifer Nettles, hosted by who I am told, a man named Bert
Kreischer.
That's Chrysler, isn't it?
Yeah.
So then the announcer knows.
Then it's Bert.
I think it's Bert Kreisler.
Yeah.
That's Chrysler, isn't it?
That's Chrysler, isn't it?
We got the joke to the announcers.
Like they get that it's a joke now.
There's so many great things we've sabotaged.
Speaking of, Garth Brooks posted today or wherever it was last week on Instagram, his
big stadium tour.
And it is just mommy, where are the bodies?
Oh, yeah.
Now I'm contributing to that.
Of course.
Bert Krishna.
Yeah.
It's so many.
Oh my God.
Bert Kreischer.
There he is.
There's the stadium tour.
If you click on it.
Bert Kreischer.
The top one.
Whatever.
I mean, it is nothing, but there he is.
Stop calling him daddy.
There's my comment.
Yeah.
Bert Kreischer.
Bert Kreischer is so many.
There's so many.
Bert Kreischer.
Yeah.
That stuff's fantastic.
I've never heard of it.
Yeah.
Bert Kreischer.
Kreischer.
Kreischer.
Tata there, G-Tard.
Is that what they said?
Yeah.
That's a really good one.
Yeah.
Bert Kirschner.
Kirschner.
Bert Krishna is my favorite.
Yeah.
Bert Kreischer.
Kreischer.
There's so many bad ones.
Bert Kirschner.
Bert Kreischer.
Kreischer.
Bert.
Kaiser.
Kaiser.
What do people read?
I know it's not.
I think they just.
It's not hard.
It's the letters that they just get scared.
You know?
Maybe.
It's not that hard.
Maybe if he was a disaster.
Yeah.
No.
Pajitski, I get it.
There's a reason I cut it down to P.
I'm like, this is too much for people.
It is.
That was Z's and S's and K's and Y's.
But Kreischer, he spells it K-R-E-I-C-H-E-R.
C-H-E-R.
I think it's the S-C-H that people are getting.
Maybe take out the C.
No, but it's the E-I.
The E-I.
People don't know that.
Yeah.
They're like Kersinnen.
It's German.
Kreischer.
Yeah.
German.
E-I.
Maybe, you know what would be interesting to see if like in a area here in the United States
that has a high German population, if they would all get it right.
Oh, I'm sure.
You know?
I'm sure.
It's just these fucking Momos that don't read.
Yeah.
Just fucking Momos.
Yeah.
By the way, I like Ricky Thornton Jr.
You wrote that down?
I wrote it down.
That's hilarious.
Because I love Talladega Nights.
It's one of my favorite comedies.
Close in name, right?
I really didn't realize how close that was to like Ricky Bobby.
Ricky Bobby Jr.
Clearly the fucking 28's are retard.
Yeah.
It's pretty amazing.
And that guy, by the way, didn't go like, whoa, he's just like keep talking.
I'm listening.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Good work.
I really like this.
Oh wait, someone dumps his stupid ass.
28 must have done some stupid shit.
Yeah.
What did 28 do?
I don't know.
Geez.
Yeah.
We're all going to want to find out.
Yeah.
Ricky Thornton Jr.
And this is NASCAR, right?
That's the one they drive in circles.
That one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not formula.
No, that was not NASCAR.
Oh.
That was like, that looked like it was on a dirt track.
Hilarious.
Yeah.
Hilarious.
Definitely some type of.
28's are retard.
It's pretty great.
It's pretty funny.
I wish everybody gave interviews like that.
I got to show you.
This is so fucking funny.
I didn't know there was a read me here.
So this is a compilation that a user named Big Alec has made and uploaded to the YMH
subreddit.
So shout out to Big Alec.
I don't even want to tell you what it is.
It's a compilation that's, it's very funny.
Okay.
Okay, guys.
Thanks.
I'm cute.
Cool.
I'm scared.
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
yeah my glass and put touch your camera through the fence
touch my camera
touch my camera through the
okay I don't
touch my camera through the fence
hehe
touch my camera through the fence
I'm not sure how that will pull that off
touch my camera through the fence
um no I don't think so
I like her bunk bed
touch my camera through the fence
touch my camera through the fence
alright we're gonna try that
that sound like some shit
look it he said touch the camera
through the fence oh boy look it
wow we got
touch my camera through the fence you faggot
he figured out how to do it at the end that was cool
this guy is going on random people's lives
and just writing touch my camera through the fence
and there's nothing I like more than
nonsensical silliness
of course that is so great
that is the best
that's my camera through the fence
you know it just shows that mommy culture
is permeating through every every
how do you get a job here you fuckface
that's really neat Tom
isn't that cool
it's very cool it's slick it's neat stuff
it's cool stuff and I like it
I dare you to pull out your front tooth is what that guy said
I dare you to pull your front tooth out
why is that terrible
is that what happens on people's lives usually
fuck if I know
just random comments are made like that
um not on mine
usually it's people like
four strokes hey mommy
yeah it's all the same thing though
that's the same thing
you're just describing what we just saw
nonsense it's nonsense
rambles
I went live once
at a club at a comedy club and the staff was there
and they saw their seeing the comments
and then one of the staff was like
oh cool
I was like what and they're like look and it said show me how those big tits fart
she was like
show me how those big tits fart I'm out thanks
I was like no no he's just he's a fan
they like you
that's why they're saying they're screaming hey Hitler
cause they like you
and that's why they screamed it to me when I was walking to the state
it has nothing to do with
race
it's a sign of
endearment it's what we do
this is so funny that is love for our community
yeah
so
we went to finally get to see a movie
we don't have much free time
but we saw a movie
we rented one at home and then we went to one
and it's pretty
remarkable in that in
both movies
the one at home and the one we went
to the theater for we cut off both
yeah we were like
this is too much of a bummer
one was this a white bummer
Spencer
I mean do white people love watching
other rich white people be bummed out
it's like
and they also like watching poor people bummed out
they like poor bummers they like disabled bummers
but white people
sick bummers cancer bummer
breakup bummer but listen
this story I was dying to see this
she is great in it
she's just like her she does such a great
what's her name
she's a fantastic actress
I mean she crushes it
but this face
that's her face the whole fucking movie
the whole fucking movie
she's like oh
yeah her at Christmas
her in the countryside
her after
eating
her just like I'm sad
yeah
well and I have to say it is a very unsympathetic
character
you're the princess of Wales
you have a lot of money
she's sleeping in Queen Victoria's bed
and we're supposed to be like
I mean I get that though
like you can sleep in Queen Victoria's bed and be sad
that message actually I think can resonate
the isolation of her life
no matter that you're surrounding you can still be sad
but
like if you're a viewer it's just like
I'm bummed
I don't know
it's almost like you have to be in the mood to be bummed
to be bummed out
and I think most I don't know
not most people some people
myself included like a little bit of escape
from being bummed
sure from reality yeah
well and you know this won all kinds of awards
and they're talking about this movie at the film festival
because white people
I think white people can't access being bummed out on their own
and they need to watch
white people get bummed out for them
and then they're like okay I got that out
you know it's like my life is so good
shit's not that bad
let me watch something to bring that out in me
let me bum myself out with some other people's bum shit
I mean
and I was getting excited
I don't know
it's tough
the family's tough I get it
it's a horrible place
the way they portrayed her too
I don't think she was this much of a victim
I think she was more resilient than what they were giving her
portraying her
she's gonna get nominated for everything
could they never nominate comedies
even though there have been
which is insane it's insane
it's insane that when you go like
who has won the most Oscars that you don't say
Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy and Jim Carrey
three guys who nobody else
could do the movies that they've done
insanely talented, insanely funny
who could ever do a Jim Carrey role and make it
that was iconic
was that that role?
no could Denzel
it's only him
and then they're like yeah but it's a comedy
that guy
you know how hard it is to do a good comedy
no one else could do that
if you take the drama role
you're like well eight other people could do that role
here's me doing Spencer
Oscar
there's your Oscar
yeah
but nobody could do
no one else could do Ace Ventura
that was amazing
no one could do those roles
do you know he got paid
Peanuts to do Ace Ventura
I think he got like 300 grand
which for a movie is Peanuts
it's his first movie
and he was like I don't know what the fuck
I'm doing I just gave it my all
and I think this is one of the funniest movies
of all time
do you know Snowflake does he call you at home
I love this stupid fucking movie
of course
you bring up another person I'm thinking of Will Ferrell
I mean how many great movies
yeah who could do those roles
Anchorman, Elf
should get something that's a classic
Elf he didn't think was going to work
I just heard that story
you thought he didn't think it was going to work
no because when this was being shot
what's the frat one
had come out
another great comedy
it was like the fan base is like
college kids and he's like I'm doing this Elf thing now
and he's on set
being like what are we doing
I'm a grown man in a gnome costume
this is like for kids
it's a classic
and he's so incredibly funny in it
yeah he plays sweet real well
yeah
and to think that this didn't get an award
are you joking this is so funny
and so creative
he's like
he's like
$29 million
for two and a half months of his life
and he was like
I just read a story that George Clooney turned down
something for like 40 million dollars
you're like how do these people say no
but they're not telling you
but he had this other thing lined up
that was like 60 million
I also
I saw a great movie
that I think was marketed incorrectly
and it was really lovely
the long shot
with Seth Rogen and Charlie's Tehran
you know I'm a huge Charlie's Tehran fan
yeah
and this movie made me LOL
I haven't laughed out loud
really because of a movie
in years
I loved both
this is stupid marketing
that doesn't seem that does not
make me want to see that movie
me neither and I think it's because you think
there's just like the hot chick with the
shlubby guy and how's that
and it's so much more than that story
she's running for the presidency
and it's about that power thing
that post was terrible
it was marketed completely wrong but it was really funny
I laughed
I enjoyed him very much I enjoyed her
so it was cool
it was a lovely story actually
it was a really sweet movie
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but
back to the movie we walked out of
3 movies
same Z's
in my whole life I'm saying
which ones do you remember
actually don't
I'm trying to remember one
because I know I have it somewhere in there
okay I'll tell you the one I walked out of when I was 13
years old hellbound hellraiser 2
it was too scary
and I said no thank you
no thanks Tom Hanks and I walked out
you know who's walked out of a lot of movies are my parents
and you know
you know what they often walk out of
like whatever's number one at the bus
sounds like we're starting that trend now
are we doing this
we don't like a lot of stuff
they're just like what is this fucking star wars thing
we walked out of something because we were like
we gave it a while
we were there like well over an hour
I was like we're just wasting our time
at this point
so bad
and I really wanted to see it
I wanted to see it for the story
it was marketed well
I was like this looks rad
it's gonna be a cool story
the actors are all stars
it's very appealing sexy
and it was fucking dog shit
it was so bad
I like when you say dog shit
it makes me laugh
there are two things that make me laugh over the years with you
when you belch aggressively
I always laugh when you go
that one
and then when you say dog shit
the way you say dog shit
it's great
you're meant to say that word
I like dog shit
I'll keep that in my memory
it was a hot
pile of diarrhea
and we're talking about
House of Gucci
which is
fucking
it's directed by Ridley Scott
who's a very famous well known director
but doesn't Ridley traditionally do
the Alien movies the thrillers
he's done a ton of things
I only know him from Alien
he's directed dozens
he's the kind of director that
when he's signed on
I'm sure they're not allowed
to give him notes
it's like Ridley Scott's directing
and they're like okay deliver your final product
which is clearly what happened
in this movie where it's like
two hours and 42 minutes
super long
who's got that kind of time?
every other scene you're like you could have edited this
not edited down you could have cut this scene
it's not moving the story along
the performances are
terrible
it's the worst acting
I've seen
they're all supposed to be these
fucking guineas in Italy
and
they
come and go out of their accent
the whole time
the whole time which you can't
get over
you got Lady Gaga
you got
Jared Leto
Al Pacino, Adam Driver
Jeremy Irons unbelievable
he actually is but he does
of the five he has the smallest role
he's amazing
he's amazing in it
um
what
sorry spoiler alert
the old guy dies sorry
it's the other way you say spoiler alert first
spoiler
this works
um see how I was like
he has the smallest role and you're like
he's dead
so
let's stop talking
you go ahead you go
so Gaga
again phenomenal right
Gaga pretty damn
I would say second best in this thing
fucking
Adam Driver
he's like he is the thing
I don't know
my father's ill and you're like what the fuck
do you not think you should do a second take
of that where you keep your accent
Al Pacino the great Al Pacino
he's like oh you here
and he's like you gotta come to New York
and he goes into
his Al Pacino New York
they gotta come to New York
and he goes in and out of it
fucking Jared Leto is doing a goddamn
sketch we have to devote a whole hour
talking about he's doing a sketch character
in this movie he's like
he's the thing
I uh
and you're like holy shit
he's wearing prosthetic fat suit
silly this thing
and the character that he's based on
wasn't fat doesn't need to have that
so it's just like dressing it up
and is like
literally like a bad
mad TV
character he's supposed to be the comedic
relief but I don't I'm not sure
that was good and they should have edited out
half of the shit that this guy
was doing it was so weird
look at that
weird it doesn't fit the rest of the movie
every time he comes on the screen you're like
alright like who's
oh my god
the suit and then look up Paolo Gucci
right
PA
house
yeah this it's like
the real guy right there look at the second picture
he's normal
he's just a normal looking guy
and he has to do that
and like
and I can tell too
you can tell that they
ad-libbed a lot
you can see it like you know that
there's the great line in the movie
is
fantastic line
I've been saying it for a week great
but you can tell she does
say she ad-libs it and you can tell how
pleased she is with herself after she delivers it
cause she goes and then she goes
catch her being like that was a good one
you know
the ad-libbing was just out of control
you can tell they should have edited it down
way
I cannot get over the accent thing
just agree that you're not going to do
accents
if you're not going to keep it
I agree
driver and Pacino were the worst
at doing that
coming and going the whole time
then I fucking watch Tenet
oh see Kenneth Branagh
who's playing this Russian
villain
the guy's Irish
and he stays in
that Russian
mindset, accent, mannerisms
the whole fucking time
like masterful right
like if you didn't know who he was
you'd be like I guess that's a Russian guy
that's how he doesn't drop it
for a frame
and I would think
people signing on to do a movie like this
would want to do the same thing
you know what it is cause I've worked
Kenneth Branagh
I've worked in voiceover acting
where I have to do an accent
and
every day before I started taping
they do a playback of what I sounded like the day before
so that you go oh gosh
I have dropped my accent
let me listen to myself from yesterday
and the director would tell me
hey you're dropping your accent
but I think what it is
you've got Lady Gaga
Pacino
Adam Driver, these huge names
nobody's gonna say to them
well maybe you know what, maybe the blame shouldn't go to any of them
and it should all go to Ridley Scott
cause if you're directing it
it's your film
you gotta tell them hey this isn't fucking
whatever, Serpico
you're a guy in Italy
you keep going to your Brooklyn accent
it's so tricky too because so many times
in films
where it takes place in another country
like France or Germany
they'll often choose to adopt an English accent
which is a weird choice too
wait we're in Germany but everybody's speaking with an English accent
so I think for this
British
the choice for them to go
Italian accent
was bizarre
I gotta say, I think
and maybe I'm speaking
from my own bias because of
the languages I'm used to
I think it's one of the easiest ones to mimic
let's do it right now with Tommy Segura
pull out your pussy
and sit on my face
like when you are nasty
you sit on my face
I lick my ass and lick it
it's not
difficult to keep it
it's Italian accent
it's one of the easiest ones to keep
and if you drop it
it's easy
it's like that
my father's ill
ok, let's start over
my father, my dad
is ill
but also to have everybody with the same accent
is hard
they paid so little attention to the accent
it was so annoying
did you not go to a drama school
you have to pretend to be the character
but the highlight
of the day
was when
I dared you
to say House of Coochie
please when we pulled up to the theater
and you did
you told me you started doing it
with Chase
what did you order Tommy?
salmon frittata
and they said frittata
and I said House of Coochie
and the guy was like theater 5
House of Coochie
please do not use
gendered language
please
do not
speaking of gendered language
I found this article
if you wouldn't mind bringing it up
I thought this is so appropriate for you
about your Latin
heritage
so this article came out
that this is an LA magazine
according to a nationwide poll
Hispanic voters are just not
that into being referred to
as Latinx
of those queried only 2%
referred to themselves as Latinx
Hispanic is the most favored term
by 68% of those pulled
I mean this is nothing new to me
I have
absolutely despised this movement
from the beginning
because you know what it is
I mean I'm not saying anything I don't think
I haven't said before
I'm using a term on a culture
that is not asking you to do it for them
and they don't use this word
obviously
2%
are down with it
and those 2% fucking have blue hair
it's not like
it speaks for
the rest of the population
these people are not asking you
for a new label
well that's a thing too
this is why the non-binary
what are the pronouns
put your pronouns in your
but we're not doing that
it feels imposed as well
on society like we're not naturally doing this
this is like an imposition
exactly none of the people in this photograph
none
would call themselves Latinx
or Latinx
and the argument for it
is for people that don't
want to be gendered by a
language
that operates
based on gender
it's masculine or feminine words
how would you re-write
the entire language
and I've also been so upset
about the fact that there is a gender neutral
term already
which is Latin
Latin is gender neutral
so to Latinx
it's making the point
hey
see how there's no gender
we don't need to add the X
I mean you know Latino
and Latina those are gendered
Latin is not gendered
it's Latin America
so you don't need to add the X
it's just like you're trying to get noticed
is what it seems like you're doing
and you're also doing it on people
who are not asking you to do that
but I like that they're like nah brah
nah you keep that X
we don't need that shit
it was said to me in an interview
and I jumped down the fucking interviewer's throat
they're like
you're Latinx and you're like no I'm not
I was like no I'm not retarded
yeah
I'm not retarded
yeah
and I'm never going to write my pronouns
in my email
I just got an email
from like a hotel person
and they're like she
her hers because pronouns
are important I was like
not to you because you don't
and then the name's like Melissa
I was going to guess
I was going to guess
hey speaking of
we went to a place that I frequent
and I'm having an issue
identifying
a Zimzer
do you remember
we go to this place in the neighborhood
and behind the counter
remember
oh yeah
yeah
you did struggle with that
and I don't know how to figure out
what they are
you kind of threw things out there
you were like yeah man
look you look beautiful
you were trying everything
I was trying everything
I was trying everything
but then at one point I was like
you know a girl and they laughed
and I was like
I pointed out that
the gays will go with that sometimes
yeah
and I asked them their name
and it's a name that could be
it's like Chris or Pat
so I'm screwed I don't know what to do
and I like this person we have conversations
you know what you could do honestly
you could be like what's your pronouns
shit
hey you can say it in cool ways
hey um
hey uh
what's your pronoun
but I'm being serious
I'm joking but I'm being serious
you could just say that
like flat out
I'm just wondering what are your pronouns
yeah just like that
what are your pronouns
that person is not going to be offended
and that is not the first time someone has said that
I promise you
they'll probably tell you immediately
and very casually
okay will you come with me
I'd rather not be there for that
I need support
no I'll go with you
we should take bets do you want to take bets
what do you think if they are
what if they are you fucking bitch
come to stupid bitch burgers
yeah
don't compliment that bitch
okay let's I think it's a
I think it's a
I think it's a male transitioning to female
I'm guessing
what's your guess
um
that's the most I think that's the most likely
yeah yeah
because they I don't see breasts
but they're very small
man it's just like
just ask I really think you just ask
I know
and I'll be like so I'm just wondering
so what's your pronoun
it feels so weird I wouldn't make that face
when you ask
no the whole idea
is to make it super casual
right but I've never done this before
I know but you can practice
so
you didn't like House of Gucci
well what kind of
you know my parents are so lame
I bet they don't even ask people
what their pronouns are
that's too on the nose
I've got a three year old boy
and a six year old boy
don't
don't make the conversation
about gender
so like just transition from like
I saw this movie oh my god I hated it
hey
just like that
did you see House of Gucci
yeah
you asked me
hey did you see House of Gucci yet
no how was it
what's your pronoun
like that
that was good
that was good
okay let's do it for real
hey have you seen House of Gucci yet
is it good
it's really good maybe I'll check it out
yeah
here you go here's your stuff
thanks oh and I wanted to ask you
what pronouns do you go by
oh I go by uh fuck you bitch
you and your privilege
what do you think they are
like you don't want to know
I don't know
I need to know from you
um Edgar
got a tattoo
by dot Jenkins tattoo in Jacksonville
North Carolina
yeah
wow yeah
boy these tattoos this year
have really been amazing
that's rad that is fucking rad
brother and brother for those of you just listening
with a lighter lit little fire coming out of it
it's pretty great stuff
yeah that's rad
that's really cool
pretty cool right
a whole boy
as well man
I know that's a fun one
what the fuck did I just do
okay
keep feathering it brother
I know
that could be the start of a movement
like you know like the smiley faces
like have a nice day
keep feathering it can be
a very positive movement
like just keep feathering it brother
like what if we started a pot
you know like those life is good boutiques
I mean I would think that
99% of people
who here keep feathering it are kind of like
I mean I think that sounds good
they don't actually know what that means
I wouldn't know what that means
stay positive
keep feathering it bro
keep your head up
you know what I mean
let your brain on fire
you heard me the first time
should we do a bunch of affirmation cards
keep feathering it
light your brain on fire
keep feathering it's good
light your brain is too
too direct
for enlightenment
keep your brain on fire
read this book
it'll light your brain on fire
touch my camera through the fence
is obviously confusing the fuck out of people
except for the one guy
who was like I'm just gonna go out to my fence
there's two ways of
there's two ways of reacting
that which is one is
I don't know what you mean and the other is like
it sounds very specific
I could try that
he did it though he did touch his camera
stinky fish challenge remember these
stinky fish smell the stinky fish challenge
that was immediate
all over the other guy
the best part of what I'm seeing so far
is that the other guy is still seated there
like he didn't leave
I don't want to see this
another clip
hahahaha
oh my god
oh god
oh man
they are both
so I think the whole challenge is
that it's this I think you said it's a Swedish thing
something like that yeah
and it's from and
this has existed somewhere before
where it's like supposed to be the smelliest
I mean he opened that can and lost it
so it must be
if you just look for the description
it's called Sir Stromming
that's the fish that they do it with
is it from is it Norwegian
it's gotta be
sounds like it's Scandinavian or something right
Baltic sea hearing
to Swedish cuisine
okay yeah all right
should we order it
should we order it would you sit around for it
yeah I could smell that
I don't think it's that bad how bad can I smell
touch my camera through the face
hahahaha
I mean this room smells pretty bad
I feel like I'm used to it yeah that's from Barf
litter the person
oh yeah
I think I could smell it
yeah
that would be a good
would you really sign up for that
yeah order it I can't be that bad
who's just to eat it
I thought you just had to smell it
well no like one of us
we have to sit together
but I might vomit you know
I don't like that part
but that's the whole challenge
oh to not puke
I don't know about that sorry
I can do it alone but if there's
you vomiting I may not be able to do the challenge
how come can you get out of the room and vomit
like you're like I'm gonna vomit
and then get out
it looked like it wasn't
a lot of time to get out of the room
can we go to the next clip that you have
I mean this is like my least favorite
subject okay
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there you go
change it
keep it doling
hey man you know you're a piece of shit right
you know right
right come on yeah you know
you know right
yeah you know
take care folks
that's the greatest thing I've ever seen
get this guy a trophy
that was fucking rad
this was the best and so tiktok will consider this
bullying and they will take this down
I'm sure it's already taken down
when did I saw this I saved it to my phone
it was pretty awesome
the best part is he's like
watch joe hosting
laugh with me
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keep it doling
hey man you know you're a piece of shit right
you know right
right come on yeah you know
you know right
yeah you know
take care folks
he knows
hey you know you're a piece of shit right
he's like
I do I know
he's like why don't you filter those guys
out
before I take pictures with them
he told me a piece of shit
look how many people were in that arena
oh yeah I think that's weekly for him
that's not like a one-off
it's crazy
I want to say it's Houston
I think he's in Houston
church
tax free, no taxes
this is such a bizarre law
that these guys don't get taxed
Lakewood church
where's that
we can go
what's the capacity
10,000
averaging 52,000 attendees per week
but doesn't it say capacity underneath there
scroll down
capacity
16,800
so it's a full arena size
we got to go
you want to go to one
I don't know if I could sit through
we might be like house of kuchi
this fucking sucks
look at this
this is ridiculous
that's an arena
look at his hair he's got a nice head hair
shit
wow
so he got
when there was that hurricane
and he apparently was like
do not let these dirty
homeless
into my church because they were like
they were looking for space for people
he was like I'm not here
and then he was like no I didn't say that
you could help him
look it's the first thing
people who also ask
see people who also ask
that drop down that you were at
yeah
make it bigger
hostin refuted
the claims that he turned away flood victims
said the church has always been open
we received shelter victims in the first day or two
he added that the church initially flooded
it could not immediately open its doors
the thing is we're flooded too
could you imagine
the bilking like the
it's just such a con
it's just a con
well no one like that one guy
remember the guy who
baker? no the demon guy
remember he bought the jet
from
what's his name, Medea
Tyler Perry he's like
Tyler made such a good deal I had to buy
oh that guy
what's his name
there's great memes about him
he looks fucking
so
all that weird stuff
Pat Robinson
Pat Robertson
trying to think of all these pieces of shit
this guy
Kenneth Copeland
fuck
he's what Baptist or something like he's hardcore
he's an evangelist
fuck
look at this guy
he got so mad at that lady for asking him
is it appropriate for you to be
spraying the word of God on a $60 million
plane he's like how dare you
he gets all in her face
oh yeah
that's the thing these guys are just so corrupt
my goodness
look at these pieces of shit
and every day he's out there just being like y'all need to donate
donate give me money
give me money
give me your money
that's how they make their money
it's not even a service it's like donate
donate donate and then I don't pay
taxes on it and I buy a jet
pretty cool it's it's completely criminal
I'll spread the word of God this way
I don't know I watched I was watching a
documentary on it why this is
in America it's because
the United States was founded on the separation
between church and state
so that's why these con artists
are given carte blanche
but I'm thinking we need to start
taxing these people it's a business
no it's a donation based business
there's no service being provided
the guy's a public speaker
it's pretty cool to open
a church like that
it's wild
oh it's just amazing
this is one of my favorite things I've seen
this video
it's so bizarre
it's a guy
a grown ass man
trying a sprite for the first time
my name is Aiden and this is my first time
drinking a sprite
cheers
ooh
it's a bit much
yikes
it's just intense
it is, first time
yowza
jeez
crazy
alright that's enough for me
it's so weird
and it seems very genuine
doesn't seem like a bit
no but you'd think that the guy that has neck
and a tattoo above his eyebrow
would have had a sprite
a little bit heavier stuff
you would think you'd do sprite before face tattoo
right
on the level of like
when did you get your face tattoo? actually I got it
a few years before I tried to sprite
I know
I mean it is wild
I've watched our kids try
soda water and they say it's spicy
but they don't like it
they think it's coca-cola spicy
7up spicy
pretty cool
what's your favorite soda? diet coke
but that's because
I feel like I'm not
drinking a gallon of sugar when I have it
it's my go to if I'm going to get a soda when I'm out
right? and I like it
with like
sushi
I don't know
I try to drink many of them
you know include sugar
I think it's like
I used to love coke when I was a little kid
but then I got
too away from it because it just does taste like
you're drinking like a bag of sugar
you know
it tastes like someone melted candy
I know it's brown
anything brown
you shouldn't be putting that in your body
it's brown
it's brown
44 grams
44 grams of sugar
in a
cup
that's not even a can
doesn't it say 21 ounces
39 grams
in a 12 ounce
that's a can of coke
and think about the people who drink them all day
people drink like 4, 5, 6
how much sugar is in a snickers bar?
is there more
sugar in a mountain dew?
is it more sugar?
39
grams of sugar
65
grams of sugar
is it sweeter?
that's in a 16
yeah
it might be similar
I meant to say
fuck
ugh
so much sugar
that's 46 grams
in a 12 ounce
okay how much is in a snickers
a snickers bar
there's also like
20 grams
so yeah it is less
a snickers bar
is less sugar than a can of
coke
there's also 12 sizes
of that
you don't need a supersize snickers
you don't need it
27 grams
in a regular size
it's a lot of sugar
that's what I'm saying
it's wild
root beer is pretty good
my favorite is Dr. Pepper
and I forget how much I like Dr. Pepper
and the diet DP is pretty darn good too
let's see
40 grams
I don't want to sound like a company man
Dr. Pepper really does taste more like
regular Dr. Pepper
it does they do a great job
you know what I heard
I heard that DP was made out of prune juice
really
that was the myth
it's a really specific
when you think about it it's a very specific taste
I know
what is in the DP that makes it taste like that
I know blend of neutral art
it does not have prune juice
oh see myths
DP
we put two penises
23 flavors
yep
creation of Charles Alderton
a pharmacist
we got to find out
somebody out there listening
what's the secret ingredient to the DP
why does it taste like that
it's not prune juice they're saying
oh
amaretto, almond, blackberry
licorice, caramel
carrot, clove, cherry cola, ginger
juniper, lemon, molasses, nutmeg
orange prune, plum, pepper
root beer, rum, raspberry tomato
and vanilla
it does say prune
yeah that is a strange taste
the coca-cola
I imagine there's just a lot of brown sugar
they used to put cocaine in it in the beginning
when they first made it that's why it's called coca-cola
cocaine with coca-cola
I've heard that
wow
good times, good stuff
I got to go peachy
sure
I like it
did you push hard
no
you're not supposed to push
ruin your pelvic floor because I'm in a hurry
same reason I didn't dry myself off for 44 years
I'm always in a hurry to get to the next thing
you know
I got to work on my mindfulness
and just want to go
just get it
get it
just go and push so hard
push so hard
motherfuckers what is going on
that shit cray
push so hard
I wish there was someone to write that
we're almost at the end of the month
I don't think we've showcased Chris's December post
oh that's right
it's old news by now but we should at least check it out
that's right he posts his monthly
social media video
for people
the December one
hey everyone it's December
so here's the monthly post
it's Friday so
hope you have a good Friday
but it's also the holidays coming up
so
hope your holidays are good
shout out to Lexi's cousin
Steven in Calgary
she said you're feeling grumpy so cheer up Steven
it's the holidays are coming up
and you want to have some of that holiday cheer
um
yeah so
hope your holidays are good
and if you're doing a gift exchange
make sure to set like
a spending limit so that
everyone can participate equally
and then you don't have everyone fighting over
like one gift that's really expensive
and it's just better that way
so that's my tip for the holidays
um
yeah hope your holidays are good
bundle up the weather is getting cold
bye
wow
god really hit all the notes
what didn't he
address? well we got the weather update
which was nice it's cold bundle up
the advice we got
seasonal depression
hey someone's depressed cheer up
yeah
that was really smart
I really like that
especially if you're doing groups
set that budget
well you know
that you just spend so much money on the holidays
we've bought so many gifts for people
and it's just non stop
it feels like there's just so many people on my list
I know it's outrageous
you know I remember when I was in my early 20s
and I had no money
and I would do things like make peanut brittle
for people
that was so depressing
I go to the dollar store
dollar gifts
I know
but I'd tell you that elf in the shelf
has been good this year though
friendly to kids with that every night
it's nice to scare them like that
they like that
it's the only thing that actually really works
yeah gonna tell Santa
right away
there he is
now I have a few problems with elf on the shelf
I don't understand why they don't give the elf feet
it's so freaking weird
that is weird
what is elf on the shelf
this is new to me but I can't wait to learn
it's really a tactic
for small children
it's a really great thing for manipulating them
you just
tell them
that like Santa sent this elf
and you move them around the house
right
every night when they're asleep
in the morning they look for where he is
and you tell them he's watching
and basically reporting to Santa
so they get excited to find where he's sitting
and then you can use it
as like
basically to encourage
or threaten them to behave well
oh I see
but you have to put him high up
so that they assume that he's
because Santa's watching has always been a thing
but now you got someone in the house
you know what Burt Kirschner did for me
last year
is he Santa on my phone
I have him as a contact as Santa Claus
and we called the boys last year
and he'll play Santa Claus which is really cool
so I'll be like I'm texting Santa
I am texting Santa right now
he's fully in character he's really committed to that
yeah I know that's awesome though
looks just like him now
I have a tech talk I'd like to show you
okay
just look at this clip and what's the first thing you notice
am I pulling it up
oh okay
I love wings very much
wings are my
Stanley
it's the feet did you see the feet
the feet did you see the feet
the feet
the feet
do you think
boo
the thing is you can't not see him
it's not like
oh yeah if you look under there
she put him on the table
it's almost like I don't believe her if she's like
I didn't try to get these in the shot
that's what I'm wondering
do you have another talk of hers
do you see her handle there
I can't see it
that's Christina's because she stitched it
I stitched it
you fucking idiot
stupid call yourself a millennial
is it hers only
you have to go back
yeah I stitched it
I'm sure I could
dig it up somewhere
no this was one of those cool outliers
that I found
and I was like
how is this happening in my world
right now
to put them on the table is really a move
I don't know if it was intentional
in that case it's kind of like
okay I get this person's
showing what is
obvious in a way right
but if it's like I didn't even try to do that
it's amazing
I didn't even try to do that
here's why I don't think they were doing it for
the foot enthusiast community
didn't seem like it was for that
because that would be really the only reason to do that
no it didn't seem like that
it didn't read like a sexy post
so I'm thinking that
judging by the state of her
surroundings like the dog
was she indoors or was it
she was indoors it's in her kitchen
she's indoors now
earlier she was outside
I mean that was wild
wildly dirty
what are you walking in
I'm curious to see other talks
listen if you give me a minute here I can go through
and find
give me a minute I gotta search in my trash
yeah
also I'm so afraid now
I'm getting flagged
did that one get you flagged
I thought it would because there's such
cry baby policies
you just had an inflection on a word
the Denver airport the flag
the flag hold on let me find this crazy
yeah but I'm saying I wonder if they can go
that's bullying too which would be crazy
because you just said it's the feet
did you see it there's such
fucking r words dude tiktok is ridiculous
it's the feet
the feet let me see the feet
they were really
quite dirty
I like how you're like we have to do a
deep dive I've got to figure it out
well I'm just
I'm just curious
to see if like this person
is
you know what I mean like maybe that's their
thing that there's not even sexual but like
that they're trying to show that
or is it genuinely about
wings
right are they a wing enthusiast
or a dirty foot enthusiast
here she is alright so there's
the original footage now here we go
now we're in
so this is the actual talk
this is the origin
that's another video
some ramen you grab your neuter sticks
neuter sticks
oh they're on her foot
oh no
oh they touched her
that's her thing to be a dirty footed nasty bitch
I'm eating some ramen guys
and it dragged on her foot
this is her whole thing
look
bitch you nasty as hell
now is it
in response to
or is it like
oh god you're really good at this
it's her foot and she's got pizza and a wing
so this is her thing
oh she didn't drag it though
maybe her thing is to drag it on
this is the best
thing that's ever happened
god I love this chick
dude this is the best thing ever
it's not every part
there's a pan full of fucking
fried hot dogs or something with her feet
she's got a crazy ass look in her eyes
that's for sure dude
she's got those big crazy girl eyes
yeah so she puts her dirty feet
I have to say she's pretty funny though
yeah she's amazing
she's like
has this always been a thing
she's trying to see how this evolves
alright right here she's just like
I'm pretty
and that's not getting her any followers though
that ain't paying the bills you know
and then she puts her dirty foot in the chicken wing
that's the third one
the next one
that's the
and there probably was a huge reaction to this
probably right yeah cause this has like
2.4 million views
I bet you it wasn't a plan
maybe it was the first time
but when you saw the reaction
then you go like I'm gonna lean into this
then she right cause what's the post after this
immediately after
it's another thing it's another foot dirty foot
yeah so she got huge reaction
I'm gonna do this
yeah now it's her lane to put dirt
she's a nasty bitch
it's savage
she's great I fucking
love her well you know what
I'm fucking following yeah
Vida's cool yeah she's cool as shit
yeah this girl's wild dude
what's she saying here
can we not hear
well if you do keep on watching
hello everyone do you want to know how to blow
smoke out of your mouth
yeah yeah well if you do
keep on watching okay you have to do is
grab a water bottle
and then put it like this right okay and then watch
watch me and put those you pop it
okay whoop
that was pretty impressive I didn't
that's how you trick someone
so yeah you gotta just grab a water bottle
she said bottle
so if you want to fake vape
which I don't recommend
I don't recommend
but if you wanted to cool
use a fake water bottle
and pop it
there's no need to vape guys
you have to inhale none of that type
of nonsense in your body
because that is just toxic
alright be who you want to be
stand up for yourself
and there's motivation okay
never let anyone bring you down and if they want to bring you down we'll fuck them
yeah that's a big thing
on
talk too isn't it
do you be apparently this generation
is consumed with being themselves
which is interesting because
as small children you don't have
to convince them how to be themselves
little kids come out themselves
anyways I'm looking forward to following
your food content
your food foot content
great talk guys thanks
very light and you're very pretty and I think I'd like you
alright
speaking of talks
I heard you bitches were looking for me
wow
thank you I learned from the master
I've been studying under you for years
really aggressive
here we go
I thought that was just a solid
funny and it's an espanol
which you speak so I thought you'd like that
that's how your whole thing is going to go when you ask that person
what their pronoun is
yeah
very funny
that's awesome
if you're listening
it's somebody not from the United States
cuddling sort of
with a bear
a young cub
that's definitely growing
it's nibbling
it's neck it looks like it could just rip it's neck out
person's neck out if they wanted to
Jesus Christ that shit's so scary
that sound
okay buddy over here
it sounds like it's growling
that doesn't sound like an affectionate purr
like when a cat purrs
that sounds like I'm going to bite you any second
I'm licking flavors off your neck
you had barbecue for lunch
you had burgers here
I'm going to lick the borscht off your face
and then I'm going to eat your fucking head
you didn't see that coming did ya
nah man
wow
very rare for a woman to scratch
as if her butt cracked in public
somebody likes to sample their own
survey the land
investigate but you don't do it in public
at a bar
she did it real quick
Nashville
if you hadn't seen that
that's what that smells like
my asshole
that's the first time I saw Burt
Kirschner when he was picking you up
in the ghetto
when we lived in rampart
you hadn't met him
I think Burt is outside
and I go
you haven't met him
and you go
there's a guy smelling his fingers
and I go that's him
literally
I saw a guy in a huge truck
and he was sitting there going
yeah
I'm like that's gotta be Burt
like really intensely
you're so right
he's always like
oh yeah
is there anything less attractive
than this
like this is the fucking universal
I want to throw up
spread the word you friggin turds
McGroober is back
after rotting in prison for more than a decade
America's ultimate hero and uber patriot
is released to take on one
final mission
McGroober's old nemesis
Brigadier commander Enos Queeth
and the US government knows
there's only one man who can stop him
with the help of his old team
Vicki St. Elmo and Dixon Piper
McGroober sets out to save the day
one throat rip at a time
classic McGroober
I cannot believe they were able to get this cast
back together some of the funniest people
working today
it's incredible that we get to watch them on the show now
so Saturday Night Live sketch of course
that turned out to be the cult classic movie
peacock original series
stars Will Forte, Kristen Wigg
Ryan Philippi, Sam Elliott, Lawrence Fishburne
and Billy Zane
total all-star cast
hilarious people
binge the entire first season of McGroober now
only on peacock
go to peacocktv.com
to sign up
cooler weather makes it easier to miss signs of dehydration
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I had four glasses of water
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I love it before I go
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it's estimated that around 100,000
people die in hotel rooms every year
but a hotel doesn't have to tell you if someone's dying
I'd hate to tell you guys this
but they are absolutely correct
I pulled dozens of bodies
out of hotels and motels
every year at my job as a medical legal death
investigator and the thing is
staying in a nicer hotel as opposed to
a cheaper hotel
isn't going to protect you from this
any more than money
is going to protect someone from dying
so
what I try to do is basically
find hotels that look like they're nice enough
to have the money to spend
on a good biohazard cleanup
that's free advice
the nice message for the
community watch right now
well I thought you'd appreciate that because you like the
informative talks
it is
you learn how to do the book thing
and now this one
every time you aren't on the road
I know I've stayed in a room where a body's been before
at this point
you and I definitely
100% I mean I've seen
carpets cut out of the floor
there's been smells
I've stayed at some really rough hotels
not now
but over the years I have
one time I stayed in a hotel
where the couple across the hall
was in like a party suite with a jacuzzi
it was like not a nice hotel
so I don't know why they had a jacuzzi
and they passed out drunk and flooded
into the hallway
and then I woke up to the sound of them trying
to air vacuum out the carpet
and it smelled so bad
it was like a courtyard
Marriott type
the LOL's
LOL's
I just got to address something
don't hit me up
if you ain't about to be obsessed with me
for real
because if you don't I don't want to
I need a robot that's about to be obsessed
with me
I love her
she's the shit
this is the second time I think we've seen a couple of hers
I'm deep in here but the real homie
I love her
Serio you got to be obsessed with me
okay I fucking love her
she's not trying to fuck with you if you're not obsessed with her
obsessed with me Serio
she's great
she's tight as shit dude
that's what's up girl
get it do you think she'll find
someone some guy
is gonna be obsessed with her
Serio
Serio
take it my morning don't
whoops
we'll sneak peek
whoops
sorry
didn't like that one
what didn't you like about
I didn't like anything about that
why even share
so this gentleman's unique in that
I stitched a talk
of him spitting at the camera
that's him
maybe that's why I don't like this one I remember it on some level
he's got problems
emotional problems
it looks like he got into an accident
yeah
really cool thanks I'm gonna move on
do what they do
do what they do and I'll live
shit
this is McDonald's
gotta pick up the nuggets
still leaving
still waiting
still waiting
that's a mix
check it out
okay
yeah
we still taste it
yeah
okay
it's so gross right
it's so
it's so messy
that's
that's rough
I mean it's informative too
it's an informative talk
but it's the kind of informative like hey
you know just stay away from this right
that was so fucking gross
so this is a McDonald's
employee that's been posting
they gotta hate this
I think he's wanting to get fired
so he's like I don't give a shit fire me
I fucking hate working here
every day he posts behind the scenes of McDonald's
and like how many squirts
he can put of ketchup
it's all automated and behind the scenes
and I thought it was really revolting
being someone I love McDonald's
even though they made us get back $2.3 million
of advertising money
I'm still upset
the painful fucking financial experience of my life
yeah
but I still like their food I like the taste
but to see it being made was pretty gross
so gross
the hotel worker
in Virginia
so
there's this guy
who is working in the hotel
I don't know he's working I'm sorry
I see him step out of the elevator and he's about 6'11", 7' tall
no shit
oh my god
a total anomaly
the kind of person you see maybe once a year
maybe if you travel a lot
so when he came out of the elevator
I was like oh there's a professional basketball player
right there
7' tall, long dreads
and I look at him like he's older
he's a retired professional basketball player
and then he reaches in the elevator and he pulls out a cart
he's working at the hotel
in like a janitorial capacity
and I'm like wow
just because you're seeing this
enormous man
not 6'6", 7'
like 7' tall
and I was like holy shit
and you know it's the kind of thing that
Sean meets me in the lobby
and he's like Jesus Christ
you just have to say something
so the next day
I go to the gym, I work out
and when I go to take the elevator
down because the gym was on the top floor
he's standing outside the elevator too
and I'm like
how's it going man
I'm just chatting him up
but I'm trying to not bring up his height
I'm like I want to talk about it
I want to talk about it
and I know that's all anybody wants to talk about
so
I have a knee brace on when I work out
and a hand brace
and I'm like
you want to know how I got hurt
like thinking you volunteer at first
and he's like
how'd you get hurt
trying to dunk
and
I go yeah
I just wish I was a little bit taller
and he was like
yeah
so are you from around here
and he was like yep
and I go
how long have you worked here
at the hotel
he's like just a few weeks
I was like oh no shit
so put it in your head
it is a seven foot tall black guy
with long dreads
not like fat
just like I'm saying it's a big frame of a
human being
and he's like I just joined here a couple weeks ago
and I go oh yeah okay cool I go where'd you work before
just making conversation
the reason it's taking so long
is he goes to only one elevator working
the other elevators are out of service
they're coming to fix them right now
so we're having this like longer discussion
and I go okay
I go where'd you work before and he goes Burger King
and I go really
and he goes yep but I'm so glad I don't work there anymore
and I'm looking at this guy
and I'm like why's that
because the kids there they would smoke marijuana
during breaks
do you know what it's like to try to get work done
when everyone else is smoking marijuana
and I was like do you know how shocking it is
to have this conversation with you right now
and
I was like no that's crazy
and he's like here we're a team
we all support each other we work together
to give the customers
the experience and I was like
I am so sorry that I only want to talk
about how tall you are
it was just
it was unbelievable and then that was it and then the elevator came
and he was letting me
he was like here you go you can come on
you know sometimes they train them
if you have a cart wait for them
I go there's one elevator come on the elevator
and he was like okay thanks
wow it is disappointing that he wasn't a basketball player
and wouldn't bring up
how fucking huge he was
I just was trying to like
you know lead him into it
yeah I mean you have an obligation
when you have something that is
abnormal about you
or it's the elephant in the room
you just like for instance when I walk
he knows every customer
they just want to know about your height so just let them
for instance when I walk Betsy
she's a very interesting looking dog
and I anticipate that everybody wants to know
what breed is the dog
and what looks like an e-walk
in games when I take her out
so you just know that's the life
he should be like 6'11
and I got the dick to match
that should be how he
starts conversations
that's cool man thanks for telling me
yeah I'd like to know that too
we've all been wondering
I mean he imagine if he was just like
starts unsipping he's like I know you want to see it
I'm just like
wow thanks man
alright
everybody wants to know
kind of everybody does
I don't mind
when people find out I'm married to a comedian
there's the same 5 questions
do you guys crack each other up all the time
you make each other laugh
who's funnier do you guys compete
how does that work
when you guys both tour
I get this exact same question
yeah so
it's just part of life
you saying them right now just made me realize
I handle those just depending
on the mood I'm in
and the person who's asking
if it's like an old lady I'll be like
oh no yeah no we don't
both travel we take
like I'm real nice about it
if it's some fucking dipshit on the flight
I'm like yeah I gotta put my fucking music back on it
and then don't talk
don't talk to me
I'm like yeah that doesn't really work like that
weeee
tune out
you know what I had to do like 3 times last week
on a flight
was I sat down and the guy was like
how's it going and I already had
ear buds
in he's like how's it going
so I took one out I go what's that
he goes how's it going I was like oh it's good
and then I put it back in
and then he was like
so I was like what's that
he's like oh yeah
I was like packed flight or whatever
and I was like yeah
put it back in
and then his mouth moved again
and I just went like
gotta be kidding me
how are you not picking up on this
I know
I feel like it is
code adults don't chat anymore
on flights I haven't chatted
if someone's got something in their ears
it's all the sign you need
it's the code especially let's say you have a baseball cap
the ear buds
like workout clothes
I told you about one time I didn't
though right
one time I didn't have anything in my ears
and I was just looking at my phone
and this guy goes excuse me sir
sir
excuse me
to whoever he's with he goes he's an asshole
he was trying to get me to move seats
and I was just like
oh my god
and then I was like
I did something
I've never admitted to
I did feel bad
about that
so I
when I got up to go to the bathroom
I pretended to be hearing impaired
what
how did you pretend to sign language
stop it
shut the fuck up
what
you never told me this
I know I was super embarrassed by it
so what did you do
how do you sign toilet do you know
um
you were like you need the toilet
like that
what
how did you do it
I just saw the flat ten and I went
and she like
for whatever reason
even though I'm not using sign language
was like
in me that he was like
like this and I was just trying to be like
let them know that I can't do it
you did not
I swear
oh my gosh
you're a wild one Tom
yeah I felt bad
how long did you carry it on
I guess four and a half hours
so when she took your drink order
and like do you want a food you were like
now I did a lot of non-communication
so I
like when this person but I'd be like
you know you're super thirsty
so fucking thirsty but
I want them to see that I can't hear
you're a crazy person
I know
you're so crazy
you know that story I was telling somebody
that time that that guy put
his bag
in the first class
baggage compartment
and you ripped it out and you threw it
into economy
yeah and I got lucky
that a flight attendant like
saw the story
come together
you know what I mean and was feeling empathetic
and stuff
you could have kicked you right off
and she was like
I see it
I know exactly
she's like you're okay just
you want something to drink like she was
ow
and she did pick it up and put it
into economy
she didn't put it back where it was
right so she knew you were in the right
she did and she was like
kind of overdoing it but yeah
yeah
I had one that one time was like looking for me
to help them and I regret it
she was like
can you hang this up
and she goes where are you seated
and she was like 26C and she was like
we don't hang
he was like please
and she was like no and then she saw me
she goes do you want your jacket hung up
she wanted me to say yes
so that she could tell him no
but I wanted
to keep my jacket
I know but going back I wish I would have said yes
so that it would have fucked him up
I'd be like see shit head yeah
she was like
I mean she was so bothered by it
I was on a plane
you know when couples for some reason don't
get seated together on a flight and then
they ask you if you wouldn't mind changing
seats
and I saw
I've seen it very rarely where the person's
like no go fuck yourself
you're looking at one
you won't change for the couple
I have and I haven't
you've said no to the request
three or four times
see I was on the plane
I saw someone say no
here's the only criteria for me
is it the same
seating situation that I have
I've booked this for a reason
yeah I like aisles
I like to be able to get up as often as I want
and not have the anxiety so if they're like
hey you move there sure where is it
it's a window no
is it an aisle back there
so that you can sit in this aisle
with someone here sure
do you tell them that
sometimes sometimes I don't
just go no
sometimes I say no before the question is over
you're just like sir do you mind
let's do it let's do it
I don't know I'd like to sit next to you
let's ask him
I'm not going to move
you know one time
the lady said
you're not even letting me finish asking
so I said okay go ahead
she was like
would you mind sitting over there
so that I go I knew what the question was
it's still no
sit over there you dumb fucking cunt
dumb cunt
dumb cunt burgers
dumb cunt burgers yeah
no I didn't say that I just was like no
but I have accommodated other couples
here's the thing I regretted
moving once
the only reason I say no to that
I one time did take the window
and I regretted it
I mean I booked this
yeah this is your responsibility
on a flight
in a timely fashion such that
you may pick your seats in advance
and not only that
part of me goes you're grown up
you can't be a part for two hours
shut the fuck up grow up
I mean I sat with
Serena Williams on a flight
she was dating a guy at the time
do you know where he sat
in another row and they didn't ask to move
because they're not fucking children
they're like this is a flight
in the same space
I know that there are many flights you wish
you and I could have been seated separately
like
most of them you're like
chatty chatty catty over here
headphones on
undone eating
remember that
where were we going
I think it's out of Africa
that was the craziest time
we were eating
we were eating our meals next to each other
you're in the aisle
then we were eating together
eating and talking a little bit
and then
I finished eating and I put my headphones on
and you go I'm still eating
and I was like okay
could you talk to me
could you talk to me a little bit and I'm still eating
so then I had to take them off
and I was like what
man
that's the trip I learned not to eat tacos
before a flight to Africa
I tell a story a lot
I don't eat tacos on the way to Africa
alright let's do two more
okay
it's a baby one
I told you there was one in there
I told you be nice now
be nice and I'll return you to your mother
oh my god
no
no
negative
don't like
don't squirrels carry rabies
squirrels are just cuddly rats
yeah I really love them
they're cute as shit but I think it's very
you're not supposed to touch them I think right
I know that bats carry rabies
and there are signs here in Austin that
you should not be touching bats
because they
small rodents and
lego morphs
are almost never found to be infected with rabies
oh and have not been known to transmit rabies to humans
very good never mind you can go ahead
and French a squirrel anytime you want
actually
Salmonello Salmonella
bacteria found in droppings causes
diarrhea, abdominal cramps, fever, Lyme disease
spread the ticks
spread by the ticks squirrels can carry
symptoms include nerve pain, stiffness
and inflammation of the brain or spinal cord
okay
touching a squirrel
may not be the best idea
squirrels have sharp claws
that may accidentally claw an individual upon touch
they can carry diseases such as typhus
leptospiriosis
I don't know can also carry parasites
such as fleas and tickle
I mean you know don't touch a squirrel
I don't think this guy's okay
he's already got rabies he's got them crazy eyes
yeah
let me emphasis by saying I'm not a
professional knife fighter nor do I know
if this is the correct way to fight
this is just what I do
yeah
I think we got it
he's showing you
informative I thought you
my thought here is
right into the gut
oh he's doing a left side
surprise me on that one
can you attack somebody like this
I mean it's not legal right
he looks like
he looks like a hobbit
oh sorry
tiktok
don't use this clip on tiktok
it's a terrible
choice in facial hair
I like these guys that give tutorials
on self defense from their apartments
or their garages
he's like I don't know if this is how you should do this
but here's how to do this
totally ill equipped
to give a tutorial on knife
knife play
we should wrap this up Jean
you feel good? yeah
it was fun
Merry Christmas
Happy New Year
this is Little Brick Building
featuring Uncle Shine
by Chef Zeph
and Wiley B
thanks for watching thanks for listening
see you next week
like this again huh
here comes the camera crew
come on I don't care where you from
real big top loser
judge point
come on
bring it to me
get ahead
beautiful
that's how big it is
one time
she got a little brick building
one time
one time
one time
she got a little brick building
one time
one time
one time
I'm a jailer all alone
music
hey you're gonna say I'm boy over there
you're gonna say I'm boy over there
yeah, that's the man
he's a young boy
yeah, I want to keep your feet
yeah, I want to keep your feet
yeah, I want to keep your feet
I want to keep your feet
yeah, I want to keep your feet
doesn't matter if you're young
you're old
one time
are you a guy?
music
baby, how you doing my baby?
I been all right
you got to play the music
when I say
I'm gonna make you feel like a woman
I'm gonna make you feel like a woman
straight up to your eyes
my baby girl
when you gonna let me touch your ass
I promise you
it's church
oh yeah my baby
it's church
my baby girl
good baby
I promise you in God I
the way you been a new one like that
just give me one chance
please my baby
yeah, give me one chance
my baby girl
I wanna eat your ass
one time
are you a guy?
music
music
one time
one time
one time
one time
are you a guy?
one time
one time
one time
one time
I'm gonna make you feel like a woman
straight up to your eyes
music
but come on lady
show me
yeah, be a woman
it's church
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
one time
one time
one time
one time
are you a guy?
one time
one time
one time
I'ma tear her rose up
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
music
01:51:30,660 --> 01:51:30,660